#ni caption needed

[n3arell-art]

i guess i’m dreaming again, let’s be more than this ♡

[hanamukes]

[ivykim]

SIM(P) JAEYUN STRIKES

VIDEO START ▶️

— welcome to the video. thank you for clicking on it! today, I’ll be bringing you on a journey of various moments where jake is practically down bad for ivy

DANCE JAM LIVE #071223

since everyone was doing their own thing and dancing to their song, ivy does the same thing. it was quite honestly a mini party. all of them were dressed in something quite formal due to having schedules in the morning/afternoon.

ivy was wearing this

she looked gorgeous. everyone single one of the boys had their jaws dropped when she walked into the room wearing that. one person though had their mouths way more wide open than the others.

“jake, close your mouth.” jay says. the boy listens but he’s still mesmerised by ivy.

“noona is so pretty…” jake mumbles. anywhere she went, jake’s eyes would follow her figure.

— here we have prime example of sim(p) jaeyun

vivi x jake vlog (spoilers??)

— vivi says the vlog will be uploaded eventually (belift I’m watching you🫵🏻) but she posted a snippet of it on weverse

IVY🌟 POSTED: who are you calling cute? you’re cuter jaeyun🙄 *video attached*

from what it seems, it’s just ivy and jake walking around the rented home’s mini garden. there, they spotted a cat and ivy gasps.

jake goes to film her as ivy passes the camera to him. she kneels down to the cat and allows it to sniff her. it easily gets comfortable with her and ivy happily pets it.

“jaeyun~ the kitty is so cute.” she says in a pouty voice.

jake’s heart tugs as ivy speaks in a cute voice.

“cute.” he mumbles behind the camera. which obviously was caught in the video bc Ivy wouldn’t have posted it if it wasn’t caught.

— aww the jaeun ship is sailing!

a compilation of behind episodes with jake and ivy

#1. “noona, please!”

jake loves asking for permission from ivy and ivy grew to love hearing the boys (who are younger than her) calling her noona. it took a while for her to accept it but she likes being called noona now!

“I want that one. please? can I have a bite?” jake says as he watches ivy biting onto her popsicle.

“say please.”

“noona, please!” jake pouts. Ivy turns to the camera and points to it.

“DID YOU CATCH THAT?? JAKE DOES HAVE AEYGO! ENGENEs YOUR WELCOME!!”

#2. “noona, can I have a hug?”

jake loves hugs from ivy. no particular reason. she’s just the perfect height and size for him to hug. ivy does love giving hugs to all of them though. especially when they need extra energy.

she stands in the middle and everyone lines up. she gives each boy a hug. ni-ki hugs longer as he happily enjoys being in her arms.

“yah! it’s my turn.” jake huffs.

“no.” ni-ki says as his voice was a little muffled being in ivy’s arms. ivy pats the younger boy’s back.

“riki, it’s jake time. I’ll come to your room later to cuddle with you more okay? you big baby.” ni-ki grumbles before peeling himself off ivy. he walks away to tackle jungwon instead. clearly not done being clingy.

jake finally smiles, “noona, can I have a hug?”

“yes, you can.” she holds out her arms. jake happily jumps in her arms. his arms finding home around her waist and hers finding their way around his neck.

— love how the staff recorded this whole thing and captioned it “ivy’s hug service. free of charge.”

#3. “please, tell me there isn’t a ghost…NOONA I’M SCARED!”

as ivy is a psychic medium. she can see and feel ghosts. the boys don’t necessarily like whenever ivy mentions there is a ghost so she usually doesn’t say it.

but if something is off, ivy will definitely voice out.

“not to alarm any of you but excuse me while I just do this for a bit.” ivy stands up from her seat and starts moving towards the corner of the room.

“oh lord. she’s at it again.” jay sighs.

“the demon is back.” sunoo adds.

“please tell me there isn’t a ghost…” jake says as he watches ivy getting closer to the corner. the three of them watched her point in the top corner. she scolds whatever that is in that corner and tells them to leave immediately.

“okay, this guy is stubborn.”

“what guy. noona? please tell me…”

“just an 8ft shadow dude in the corner. it looks like those spiders but giant and has 2 legs like us.”

“WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT! NOONA I’M SCARED!” jake says.

#4. “LETS GIVE IT UP FOR KIM FUCKING HAEUN!!”

of course. there had to be engenes recording this part. it’s a concert! they had to perform. with them being in America, the managers were more chill. so jake decided to take advantage of that and give some appreciation for ivy.

everyone was hyped up. ivy had a solo performance at the concert that she prepared so the boys wanted to hype the engenes up.

“ENGENEs! are you ready for ivy’s performance?” they yelled. ENGENEs screaming out loud.

“I can’t hear you? ARE YOU READY FOR IVY?” jay instigates. the ENGENEs screamed even louder. the nod their heads in approval.

“THEN LET’S GIVE IT UP FOR KIM FUCKING HAEUN!!” jake yells. it causes ENGENEs to scream even louder as jake cusses just to introduce ivy.

safe to say, ivy was very hyped during her solo performance.

#5. “oh good lord.” *trips on his own foot*

it was comeback as per usual and ivy’s stylist wanted to try something new. her outfit had different cuts and holes to make it more sexier so ivy looked really good.

sunoo interviews her with the camera and was busy filming fun little contents with her. that’s when jake walks in. his eyes fell upon her outfit.

“oh good lord.” he says as he trips on his own foot while staring at ivy. sunoo laughs, zooming into jake.

“jake hyung, are you okay?” sunoo asks in between laughs.

“y-yeah! just tripped somehow.” he says embarrassingly, clearly he was caught off guard.

#6. “would you date haeun noona? yes.” *with no hesitation*

jake was live during one of the America stops and so he decided to read some comments while listening to some music.

many of them were basically asking where the other members were and just asking him to do aeygo. the typical thing. that is until one question caught jake’s eye

“would you date haeun noona? yes.” with not a single hesitation in his voice. he moves on from there it causes a whole ruckus in the fandom and shippers.

#7. “KIM HAEUN! KIM HAEUN!”

jake was always ivy’s biggest fanboy as shown in the past few videos. in this en-o’clock episode where they played sports, it even more obvious.

“whoever gets ivy noona on their team instantly wins.” jungwon says.

with the teams split with the usual decision of rock paper scissors, heeseung falls to his knees.

“no, this is unfair.”

“HAH! WE GOT IVY NOONA.” sunghoon points and laughs at the other team.

“now, what do you mean unfair.” ivy says as she stares right at the two tallest boys. “if anything, I should feel unfair.”

the games start. it felt like a war zone, each of the boys getting more and more competitive. as it was ivy’s turn, she holds up the bow.

“KIM HAEUN! KIM HAEUN!” jake cheers. the editors placed a quick edited pompom and puppy ears on jake as he cheers ivy on.

[PUPPY JAKE cheering on IVY]

#8. "10 facts you didn't know about vivi noona, she's not yours."

during this live, there were tons of ENGENEs talking about the fact that ivy looked so good in her new hair. this time, she decided to go all natural and dyed her hair dark brown, similar to jay's colour.

"ivy looks so pretty with brown hair." ivy reads out in english. "aww thank you, i bet you guys are prettier." she gives a small heart to the ENGENEs.

"ivy is so perfect, she's so pretty and she's mine." jake reads.

"aww, yes ENGENEs. i'm yours." she blows kisses. jake snorts and rolls his eyes playfully.

"ENGENEs, i have some facts about noona you didn't know. wanna hear it?"

ivy tilts her head, "tmi today?"

jake hums, "here are 10 facts you didn't know about vivi noona, she's not yours." jake smiles.

"now, jaeyun-"

[video bleeps]

#9. "why is everyone calling vivi noona a mother?" "i mean, yeah. you're right. she's the mother. the mother to our kids."

and yet another live from jake but this time, he was solo. he decided to go live after their concert. despite him being tired, he wanted to make ENGENEs feel loved so he turned on the live.

"where is ivy?" he hums. "i think she's sleeping. she was really tired after the concert. she almost slept with her outside clothes on so there's that."

"hmm? tmi? yeah, that's true."

"oh, you guys saw her outfit today at the concert? yeah, the stylist tried something for her."

he reads through more of the comments, "why is everyone calling vivi noona a mother?"

that is until he had a bright idea in his brain. "i mean, yeah. you're right. she's the mother. the mother to our kids."

— MOTHER TO YOUR WHAT? WHAT KIDS SIR??

#10. "sorry, you can’t have noona. she’s mine.”

at an offline fansign during dark blood era, fans were enjoying ivy’s outfit style and the fact that she got a solo part during the second chorus of ‘Bite Me’. which led to tons of ENGENEs talking about how they would like to marry her.

there were tons asking her one by one the same questions. “are you single?” / “haeunie, can I be your girlfriend/boyfriend?”

so since jake was after ivy, the ENGENEs would continue to talk about her to jake.

“jaeyun-ah, can I marry ivy?”

“mmm, no.”

“why?”

"sorry, you can’t have noona. she’s mine.”

— okay, possessive boyfriend let’s go??

#11. “noona makes me feel safe. she knows when i feel anxious and nervous so she pays great attention to the little things.”

to end of the video, I would like to mention the interview where jake praised ivy. this was during one of their earlier days.

— “what is it like to have ivy on the team?”

jake reads the question. he hums, “noona…she’s just amazing.”

“despite, us thinking we would be just any normal boy group during I-LAND, seeing ivy noona and the many other girl contestants doing their best made me realise that we were all fighting for the same dream.”

“so when noona was announced, I wasn’t surprised. she’s amazing, heeseung hyung level of talent. what surprised me was that she cried a lot, she thought that she wouldn’t debut. she had a lot of doubts because they never announced other girls to debut with her so it was just her and us.”

“she started to feel down. worried that the fans wouldn’t like her but eventually, with a lot of encouragement and the positive comments praising her, she gained more confidence and started showing her true colours.” jake laughs.

“for me, noona makes me feel safe. she knows when i feel anxious and nervous so she pays great attention to the little things.”

“in fact, she knows whenever anyone feels down and tries to lighten the mood. she actually hates whenever it’s too serious when it’s not supposed to be. I remember her complaining about how all of us were too tense during practice and that we need to loosen up. true enough, when we loosened up, we did better.”

[video fades to black]

— thank you for watching ❤️

[lovelypham]

JUST ONE 10 MINUTES

prompt: you wear ni-ki's jersey for a performance of lee hyori's '10 minutes' after your relationship with him was confirmed pairing:NI-KI x idol!fem-reader genre:fluff wc:400+

✿༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻✿

Your relationship with Riki was revealed not too long ago, and you being a member of a fairly new debuted group that was under HYBE lead to the immense demand from fans of both respective groups for a confirmation or atleast a reply from the company

after the fire had died down you decided to ignite it yet again by pulling a rather bold move at one of your special group performances

you and your group have been practicing non-stop for your comeback and you guys made sure that everything was perfect and ready for when you had to perform

what fans didn't know was that beside the usual promotion of your title track and b-side you were also going to perform a remixed version of lee Hyori's '10 minutes'

fans of your group noticed certain spoilers in different lives of you and your fellow members taking about lee Hyori's success and how you all grew up listening to her still trending songs

✿༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻✿

when it was the day of the special performance which was also the last day of your promotions you had texted Riki and asked if you could borrow his number "51" jersey

Riki obviously agreed without a question but was rather suspicious when you didn't answer his question of "what do you need it for?" you remained still with your plan and decided it would be best if you don't tell him what you're planning

✿༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻✿

even though your heart was racing due to the previous rumors that caused a blast on the internet from both your fans and Riki's,you still chose to quickly change your shirt before you went out to the spacious stage inkigayo had to offer.

Luck seemed to be on your side that day since your stylist had dressed you up with a semi matching white frilly skirt with silver jewelry adoring your hands and neck,as well as blue sparkly eyeshadow that perfectly matched the pop color of the jersey

your members kept your secret and decided to not tell any of your stylists or managers 'cause all of you knew that you'd get in trouble easily and that is a result of your impulsive actions

✿༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻✿

your performance began and with a heavy heart you flawlessly did the intro part but the catch was that fans were yet to see the back of your shirt and when you turned around,showing off Riki's name and number,you could only hear screams from both women and men watching your stage and your doubts quickly disappeared after you heard the unexpected reactions you managed to pull out from fans

✿༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻✿

after you finished and headed towards the backstage you could see the angry gaze of your personal manager who was then reassured by your stylist that nothing would happen to you or your group as long as you don't pull another act like that.

bonus.ೃ࿐

when Riki received a weverse notification indicating that his girlfriend had posted,he didn't expect to see a mirror picture of your back with your face looking towards the mirror and a wink adoring your features while showing off his very own jersey with the caption "hope you enjoyed today's performance!!😗"

༻💿

this was really bad I'm sorry😭😭 but I was heavily inspired by the new pictures Ni-ki posted on weverse of him in his jersey at the dodgers match(?i think)

-I gladly take constructive criticism but without any hate as this is all fictional and not meant to represent any characters mentioned💗

[glossdebut]

PRICE OF FAME | MYG ★ CH. 1 TEASER

✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader

✧ SUMMARY: You were about ready to give up, your career nowhere near what you dreamed it’d be when you started at eighteen, bright-eyed and naive. Reality for you these past few years has consisted of pouting at a camera, ignoring whispers of your name at company events, and ensuring that the stupid, tiny designer purses they keep forcing on you can at least carry a flask. But now, you’re helping a friend in need. For the first time in a long time, it feels like you’re doing something worthwhile with your life. Too bad Min Yoongi, the newest thorn in your side, seems insistent on stopping you. 『 series masterlist 』

✧ TEASER WARNINGS: none!

✧ NOTES: aaaah!!! i was going to wait a little while to drop this but i couldn't resist. consider this an introduction to the boys! i hope that this is a suitable teaser to kick off the series. this teaser is un-beta'd thus far, so wording is subject to change when i reach the editing stage. please feel free to sound off in the replies or my inbox with thoughts/questions! <3

✧ TEASER WORDCOUNT: 733 words

✧ STATUS: ch. 1 scheduled to drop on nov. 6, 2024!

With a flash of lights and a cacophony of sound, Burn The Stage launches into their first song on the setlist. The crowd roars around you, but you’re not here as a fan, so you try to remember everything Jeongguk taught you in preparation for tonight.

If you weren’t already close, most everything there is to learn about Jeon Jeongguk himself could easily be found with a simple Naver search.

Not only is Jeongguk the lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist of Burn The Stage, but he’s also the de facto face of the band, and he couldn’t be better suited for the job. He’s beautiful. Like, seriously beautiful. Well-built and knows it, sings songs about love and sex and anger with the sweetest voice known to man, covered in tattoos and piercings that eommas everywhere pretend to disapprove of when they’re actually ogling just as much as their daughters. He’s a teenage girl’s wet dream, and with that comes hordes of them using the deductive skills of the NIS to figure out the last time he took a shit. Very little in his life is a secret, whether he likes it or not.

The rest of the band, in turn, gets the luxury of a little bit of mystery.

Park Jimin, drummer, and Kim Taehyung, bassist. Jeongguk’s best friends in the world. You’ve met them both in passing before, at industry events here and there, and they both seemed nice enough. 

Jimin has a bit of a reputation for being temperamental, angry, but the way Jeongguk describes him paints him as something gentle. Childhood friends who’ve known each other since scraped knees and runny noses. 

It’s public knowledge that Jimin wanted to be a dancer, before this—that when he was in college, he suffered an injury that ended his dancing career before it even started. One moment he was one of the most promising ballet students in Seoul, and the next he was retired at nineteen. He doesn’t like to talk about it, but every time the band is interviewed the question is inevitably asked. Do you have any regrets? You’ve watched the videos, seen the way he shakes with anger even as he answers with a saccharine smile. You have a feeling getting along with Jimin won’t pose any challenges for you. You know a thing or two about regrets.

Taehyung is a bit harder to figure out, but not in any way that sparks concern. He’s just an interesting guy that way. 

He was the last to join the band, the first to answer a ‘BASS PLAYER NEEDED’ ad posted around the city. Apparently, he was so good that they didn’t feel the need to call anyone else.

He lives in his own world, does his own thing. Posts very artistic photodumps on his Instagram with concerningly cryptic captions. He’s quiet when he’s around people he doesn’t know, but when he’s put in a room with Jimin and Jeongguk he becomes the loudest person there. He’s kind, caring, always seems to know the right thing to say even if it’s delivered in the strangest manner possible.

Jimin and Taehyung won’t cause any problems for you. Jeongguk assured you that they’d be easy to win over, that as long as Jeongguk likes you, you’re in with them. 

The real wild card is the guitarist. Min Yoongi.

According to Jeongguk, Burn The Stage wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for Yoongi. When the band formed, they were just dumb kids with a shared dream, but Yoongi was the one to set it all in motion. 

When they didn’t have anywhere to practice, Yoongi convinced the ajumma he worked for to let him cram as much equipment as he could fit into a tiny noraebang room. When venues wouldn’t book them without the guarantee that they would draw a crowd, Yoongi burned hundreds of CDs and stood on the streets of Hongdae begging people to listen. When shady entertainment companies started offering them laughable contracts, Yoongi found Namjoon and somehow convinced him to manage them for dirt cheap. When they finally got an offer worth taking, Yoongi made them mull it over for as long as they possibly could. Weigh the pros and cons and decide if it was what they really wanted.

If Jeongguk is the face of the band, Yoongi is the heart. Unfortunately for you, this particular heart is very well-guarded.

✧ TAGLIST: @jajabro @pitchblack0309 @sugar-snap @ot72025 @ktownshizzle @futuristicenemychaos @tea4sykes @sugainmybowl

[bitchinbarzal]

I love you, come back | nico hischier

summary; part two of i love you, say it back which you can read here

-

Nico went back to Switzerland for the off season.

He called you the night before he left, leaving a voicemail.

hi, um I leave tomorrow for home - Switzerland I mean! I really want to see you, to talk to you at the very least so please…. I love you, come back.

You never called him back.

His time in Switzerland passed painfully slow and you were in Jersey, loving your life.

Once the season started and you knew the devils were back in town you avoided all sports you thought possible to run into Nico.

You didn’t even watch the game. You don’t watch them any longer.

You were out a bar in Hoboken and the game was on the tv’s. You’d glance every so often at the score and when a group would cheer you’d see the aftermath of a devils goal.

At the second period break the analysis came on the tv, the devils were down a few goals and you could see the toll it was taking on Nico.

You and your friend read the captions of the tv

“and Nico Hischier has had the worst start in his career this season so far!”

“That’s not fair” you mumbled.

“Rumour has it Hischier and his girlfriend split up just before the end of last season and that is what has been impacting his game”

“Well, whoever she is and wherever she is come back for the sake of the devils. I’m sure he’s sorry and he loves y’a!” They joke before continuing on with the broadcast.

You then turn to your friend with a deflated look and she says “Oh sweetheart…”

The next day you get a notification from twitter

@amandacstein: Captain, Nico Hischier is not happy with last nights second period broadcast! In interviews this morning he said “My personal life is not the business of the broadcasting team and I don’t appreciate my ex girlfriend being brought into the blame for our teams failures” and when later pressed as to why he felt the need to say these things this morning he said “Because I love her and I will always do my best to protect her from anything. She’s not to blame for our mistakes”

Your phone trembled in your hand. You re read the tweet over and over again before clicking on the links attached to the tweet, taking you to a video of these interviews.

He said it. You heard it.

You pause for a moment before you click through on your phone to purchase tickets to tonight’s game.

You had to hear it from him.

Walking around prudential was basically second nature to you at this point as you weaved your way through the crowds to your seat.

The jersey clung to your body as if you’d never taken it off, the number thirteen sat proudly on your back.

They won. They finally won.

In the stands you were cheering, screaming for them and their glory.

On the ice Nico wanted to cry, they’d finally won.

You thought you’d be able to make it down to the tunnel without being accosted but you thought wrong.

“You didn’t think you could walk in here and us not notice, right?” Darya’s voice asks through the corridor.

You pause, turning to look at her “I was hoping”

She pours at you for a moment before she takes off rushing towards you, both hugging one another “we’ve missed you so much”

“I miss you guys too” you mumbled into her shoulder.

“He’s not the same y/n”

“Dash-“

“He messed up I know but he does care about you”

You don’t reply.

“C’mon” she replies, taking your hand and leading you the way you were originally going.

Once you were downstairs the rest of the girls fawned over you for a moment until they heard the boys coming out.

Nico was last, shouting words of celebration to his team in front of him.

Your heart sped up hearing him.

When the sea of Hockey players had dispersed infront of him he was left with a crystal clear view of you.

He paused, almost tripping over whatever was in front of him.

You give him a soft smile but he’s still stood staring at you as if you’re about to disappear.

“Say it, Ni” you mumble.

He stutters before he says “I love you”

“Say it again” you whisper, both of you inching closer to one another.

“I love you” he’s stern in his words, you’re now right infront of him and he’s looking down at you before he says “Say it back”

“I love you, nico”

His shoulders drop, almost in relief and he’s let out all the tension. His stick drops to the floor I along with his gloves and his hands grab your cheeks and kisses you.

After you pull away, both breathless he smiles “You were here? All night?”

“Yeah I watched the game”

“Maybe the broadcast was right” he jokes and you shake your head “not funny”

“I’m sorry it took loosing you—“

“I don’t care, you said it back”

“I really do love you”

[hestzhyen]

On Hakuri and 愛 (Pure Love)

Hello dear void. Here's a crazy character theory/interpretation for you: Sazanami Hakuri has no idea what love is supposed to feel like or be expressed as and it deeply affects his character to the point of being a major (and tragic) flaw. This is at least half the the reason why he's devoted to saving lives no matter the cost to himself, and he will continue to be this way until his lack of understanding is addressed and corrected. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Just kidding, of course there's a yapfest coming.

This was part of my usual weekly chapter rant until I realized it needed to be it's own thing. As to why I'm going on about this: blame the colour page. The captions get removed for the English publication, but there's always some text in the Japanese version. In this case, for our first-ever solo Hakuri colour page, we got: 胸に秘めたその信念- [mune ni hi meta sono shinen-; "The conviction(s) hidden in his heart..."] (My TL isn't perfect, but the sentence is simple enough that I'm confident I got it mostly right.)

Hidden, hm? Hakuri, the most zero-filter, living-in-the-moment, heart-on-his-sleeve guy in the Kagurabachi universe is hiding something? Of course he is! We just went through a whole arc about it!

The easiest conclusion to draw is that caption is talking about Ice Lady and/or the indoctrination he underwent growing up as a Sazanami.

He only mentioned Ice Lady as "someone who set [him] on the right path" to Chihiro in a flashback panel in chapter 34- no one in the cast except Hakuri knows what happened with her. He keeps her memory close but hidden from the world. Her suicide drives him to be a savior regardless of the cost to himself; he'll never let another life slip through his hands again even if he can't or won't talk about her. She's definitely his reason to exist as he is right now.

As for the indoctrination, growing up as a Sazanami means believing that you are a tool that lives for the Rakuzaichi. That sort of thinking is still present in Hakuri too- he just shifted the fervor from "honor the Rakuzaichi" to "make the world a safer place".

It's hard to say how much of his lineage he's hiding right now (if any at all) as of writing this, but Hakuri doesn't seem to be taking any precautions to keep people from finding out he's a Sazanami. He was even completely up front with Chihiro and Shiba about it and his family's mindset when they met! So he might not be cognizant himself about why he's so wholehearted in his devotion to a cause, but it's there in plain sight for anyone to remark on.

All that said, I'd like to posit that there's another 信念 -conviction or belief- that Hakuri's hiding- one that he's buried so deep that he doesn't realize it's even there, despite it being just as influential as Ice Lady. It's the depressing result of being raised as a "tool". Worse, a "useless" one.

Hakuri's deeply held belief in his own lack of worth is a key factor in his suicidal recklessness when it comes to acting on his other convictions.

"You poor thing. You're the one imprisoned in a cage."

It's all rooted in the Sazanami interpretation of "love", of course. Hakuri's warped view of affection is a key factor in why he's so goddamn reckless. He rejected the way his family viewed and treated other people like Ice Lady, but he hasn't spared any of that righteous anger for himself. He completely accepted how his family treated him and still holds the same mindset towards himself, whether he acknowledges it or not.

Because this is not something someone just shrugs off after an arc (not with a competent writer, anyway):

Most people would not frame this kind of blatant abuse as "love" in any way, shape, or form. And yet...

"When push comes to shove, Chihiro will abandon you!! He'll put himself first! But I'm not like him! I love you unconditionally..."

"Because... you always loved me..."

Hakuri and Soya both recognize Soya's feelings for Hakuri as not just any love, but as the deepest, purest love there is: 愛 [ai]. It's a horrific interpretation of something that's supposed to be almost unspeakably precious, but that's what the arc built the Sazanami clan's whole identity as villains around. It took key aspects of Chihiro's character -specifically his father's love and legacy- and warped them into something toxic to be put down through Hakuri.

*----------------------------------------------------------------------------* Before the panic sets in, I wanna say that ai is neither inherently nor exclusively romantic- that's 恋 [koi].

Mutual feeings of ai are the end-goal of many a romance story, yes. Everything builds up to that climactic declaration of 愛してる [aishiteru, "I love you"]. But ai can also be felt for family, friends, and even pets. It's for anyone the person builds up a profound enough affection for.

So Hakuri and Soya using ai to describe Soya's feelings isn't meant to imply romantic intentions (though I understand why some people ran with that interpretation). Actually, I will vehemently argue the opinion that these two using it at all means neither of them have a single clue as to what ai is supposed to look or feel like in any context. *----------------------------------------------------------------------------*

There's a reason Hakuri bitterly acknowledges Soya's abuse towards him as ai. It's the same reason Soya framed his abuse as acts of ai in the first place. It's not valid as justification, but it's understandable: they just don't know any better.

Kyora: "...Hey now, don't you love me?" Hakuri: "...? We love you." Tenri: "Of course we do."

There are multiple words for "love" in Japanese, but ai is supposed to be the deepest, sincerest, most profound and unselfish type of love there is. Ai is merely an imperfect term for an affectionate sentiment beyond words. If you have to clarify or explain your feelings as "ai", then they might not be ai in the first place.

Kyora throws around ai as something that can be used or withheld for any reason at all. Someone who truly felt ai for their kids would never do such a thing, much less consider it! But the Sazanami mindset corrupts even the concept of pure love and all of them are worse off for it.

So Hakuri only knows this ultimate form of love as abuse and manipulation. He believes that it's something conditional. Something painful.

Something he's not worthy of if it's positive, but earns if it's negative.

Any scrap of it he could get.

Contradictory and illogical? Yes. But if you understand why someone can wholeheartedly believe in that, I've got a hug or a fist bump or whatever you're comfortable with waiting for you.

Hakuri never talked about how far Soya -the manifestation of everything that was fucked up with his family- went to dehumanize him. Shiba and Chihiro got the "it wasn't so bad" version of the abuse. Just the beatings, no mention of the Visual Metaphor Tools he's still got hidden inside his storehouse. No talks about how he craved love with every fiber of his being but was tortured in the name of it over and over for years. No forced recognition that what was done to him would not be considered an act of love by any sane, rational human being.

The closest Hakuri's ever come to acknowledging that this might be an issue for him was when he asked to join Chihiro:

Taking the first step.

He's here for Ice Lady and to see if he can find out what Chihiro saw in him that made Enten a worthy trade for his "worthless", "useless" life. He's trying to understand why Chihiro regards him so highly as an "equal" as much as he's trying to be a savior. Both of these reasons drive him. But he only flashes back to one for motivation. He'd really rather not think about the other one (and hasn't outside of this moment).

No one alive knows what he truly endured and how it warped his perception of love and self-worth. He keeps his beliefs about his own worth hidden away in his storehouse as the peeler, wrench, chair, and more. Ice Lady had a glimpse, but he killed her with the loving Sazanami mindset that justified his own torture. He's carrying this burden alone and it's weighing on him and everything he's doing this arc.

So that's where we're at right now. Hakuri's reasons for acting the way he does are hidden alongside the beliefs about himself that he's yet to address, the combination of which is sending him into a self-destructive spiral. He won't be able to climb out of this mindset until someone can convince him that he's worthy of love just for existing- that ai is so much more than fists, metal rods, and calculated manipulation.

My hopes on how he learns this are obvious as a HakuHiro shipper, but I think it could easily come from everyone around him. Shiba, Char, Hinao, maybe Samura and Uruha and other characters we have yet to meet as well. All of them can help him let go of this hidden belief and replace it with something more wholesome. I just hope it happens before he loses something precious and irreplaceable.

[void-wolfie]

We Had Matching Wounds. Mine's Still Black and Bruised.

summary: Jenna's still grieving after you walk out on her, but you've already moved on.

pairing: Jenna Ortega x gn!Reader

tw: angst, maybe depression(?)... not exactly sure, let me know if I need to add something

words: 960

a/n: thanks to the anon who suggested The Exit by Conan Gray... wrote this pretty late at night so it might be trash who knows lol

Jenna's apartment was a mess; clothes splayed across every surface, dirty dishes stacked a mile high, and a pile of laundry that hadn't been done in weeks. All in all, it was safe to say she wasn't ok, not by a long shot.

She had barricaded herself in her room long ago. Refusing to move unless it was absolutely necessary, which wasn't often. She'd drowned herself in one of your oversized hoodies and a nest of blankets. If she wasn't asleep or crying, she was staring blankly at the ceiling or mindlessly scrolling through her phone.

A notification popped up across her phone. She stared at the headline, thinking about clicking on it. The dull numbness that’d consumed her days gave way to heartache the longer she stared.

Y/N and pop singer Olivia Rodrigo officially confirm their relationship!

She was finally at a place where she wasn't gnawed away by guilt and heartache every second of the day, a sort of depressive numbness settling in. But she knew seeing you with a new girlfriend would crush her, making the reality of your breakup all too real, all the more final. But at the same time, curiosity was eating away at her. The hope that maybe it was clickbait or fake news was naively tugging at the back of her mind.

Against her better judgment, she clicked on the article.

Everyone says a picture is worth a thousand words. A thousand words wouldn't begin to cover the extent of pain Jenna was feeling.

There at the front of the article was a screenshot from your Instagram. A post of you and Olivia kissing, with the caption; Happy three months, love &lt;;3.

She felt sick to her stomach. She probably would've puked on the spot had she actually eaten anything in the past two days.

Three months. Those words shattered her already fragile heart.

Three months... The two of you broke up only four months ago.

She could still remember the night it all went wrong, like a broken record stuck on repeat.

"y/n?" She called out, setting her stuff down on the kitchen table.

It was a miserable day, it'd been raining all day and thunder could be heard in the distance. The run from her car to the front door left her soaked from the cold rain.

"y/n?" She called out again, only to get no response.

She padded into your shared bedroom, her hair leaving tiny water drops across the tile floor as she shivered in her wet clothes.

She stopped in her tracks. There was a suitcase on the bed full of your stuff, and you were packing more in.

"What's going on?"

"I'm leaving." You didn't spare her a glance, you knew if you did you'd only be inclined to stay. Those big brown eyes of hers would always be your weakness.

"Leaving?" You weren't leaving her, were you? Sure your relationship had been on the rocks as of late, countless arguments and nights spent yelling. But had it really gotten this bad?

"I can't do this anymore, Jenna."

"Do what?"

"This. Us." You closed the suitcase, zipping it up, still refusing to look at her, "The arguing, the late nights coming home, always feeling like your second choice. I just can't do it anymore."

You finally looked at her, seeing tears streaming down her freckled face. It broke your heart, but you had to protect yourself. Even if that meant breaking her.

"Do you even know what it feels like Jenna? To feel like your second choice? You come home late every other night, you're gone for months at a time, and you lie about who you're with and where you go. Do you even remember the last time you said ‘I love you’?"

"I..." She wanted to refute everything you'd said, but she couldn't. She couldn't remember the last time you had a movie night together or even ate dinner at the same table. She couldn't remember the last time she said those three words.

You had tears of your own streaming down your face, "3 months ago. You haven’t said it in three months."

Jenna was in a stupor. Her whole world was crumbling before her, and she was lost on how to fix it.

How had you moved on so quickly? It felt like only yesterday she was so deep in love, falling into a black hole of bliss with only you on her mind. She thought you felt the same, and maybe you did. But you'd already replaced her. With one of her friends, no less.

Jenna skipped reading the article. She didn't want some reporter's half-assed observations and opinions on your dating life. They didn't know you, and she could care less about their opinion.

She clicked over to Instagram, despite her shaking hands and teary eyes, and tortured herself with your latest post.

You looked happy. There were all kinds of pictures of you and Olivia together. Pictures of you two dancing in the rain, swimming at the lake, even one at that club she never had the time to take you to. Not to mention the abundance of candid photos fans had tagged the two of you in. Pictures of the two of you kissing, the two of you visiting that little ice cream shop by the beach, some at that little cafe by your house that had your favorite coffee.

To say it was agony was an understatement. There weren't words for her pain. She could never effectively describe the heartache that left her crying for hours on end, breathless and shaky from the exertion.

It hurt knowing she carved out her own heart for you and in the end, her downfall was her own doing.

You already found someone to miss, while I'm still standin' at the exit.

[reveworld]

Hello! Can I request a IdolNiki x Idolreader were shes a member of newjeans but stands out because she is more boyish, and one they they mc together and fans directly notice the connection they have and she gets a lot of hate but then Niki himself post on Weverse and protects her and kinda reveals that they are actually together? I think this would be hella funny, so yeah have a great day bye!

Of Course!!

My Dearest

idol!niki x idol!reader

warnings: You get hate for having a “masculine” look

“Y/n!” your manager called out. “Hm?” You questioned. “Would you like to be a guest mc on music bank?” You smiled and replied “sure! When?” Your manager looked you in the eye, “In 5 hours.” You jumped up, “Why didn’t you ask me earlier,” She gave you a sweet smile and said, “C’mon; Let’s get going.” You grabbed your bag and ran after her.

When you got to the KBS building you saw that your boyfriend was also there. “Y/n!” he called out. “Hey Niki,” you smiled at him. The two of you met up in the hallway and hugged each other, not minding the staff following you. “I didn’t know you were gonna be here!” The tall boy said, looking directly into your eye and smiling. Because of your conflicting schedules it had been a bit since you’ve seen him in person.

“Ok you two,” his manager spoke. “Cmon, you need to get ready.” The two of you looked back into each others eyes and laughed before walking into your own dressing rooms. “I had them prepare something that suits you for todays outfit!” your manager spoke proudly. “Thank you,” you laughed.

After you’d finished getting dressed you walked out from behind the curtain and over to the makeup chair. You picked up your phone, opening Weverse to talk to Bunnies.

You uploaded a selca with the caption “Soon ❤️”. You smiles as comments questioning what the caption meant start flooding in. After replying to some comments, you get a text from Niki saying, “Cute selca.” you reply with the blushing emoji. You can practically hear his laugh as he replies with a “haha”.

Next thing you know, Niki and yourself were practicing for the interview section. He kept messing you up by making faces and so you decided to mess with him in return, causing the director to give you a 5 minute break. The two of you go and sit against a wall. “I cannot stand you sometimes,” you tell him with a laugh. “Aw, I love you too!” he responds. “Wait,” he says pulling out his phone. “Let’s take a picture.” You look at him and nod as he snaps a few pictures of you looking at him without you knowing. The break was over and the director was calling you back for the final take, the real interview.

“Hello everyone! We are today’s Mubank guests..” the two of you say in sync. “Ni-ki,” “and Y/n!” The interview goes smoothly other than the many looks you give each other. Your manager watches mentally face palming herself for taking this opportunity. After it ended, it was time for you and the other New Jeans girls to preform “OMG”.

The performance went over well and would’ve been done in one take if not for Hanni’s shoe falling off. You picked up you phone to see a text from Niki saying “Just ignore them dear.” You raised you eyebrow in confusion and opened twitter.

“Y/nki” was trending. ‘Oh God..’ was all you could think. Clicking on the tab, there were hundreds of comments saying stuff like, “Ni-ki shouldn’t like her, he’s so much better.” and “She’s probably forcing himself on her, he would never like a fake girl.” You couldn’t help but feel hurt, ignoring what Niki had texted you.

He kept sending reassuring texts but you chose to ignore them. You tried not to cry as the girls we having fun in the car ride home. When you got home, there was a surprise waiting in your room. None other than Riki Nishimura himself. He smiled at you and walked over to hug you.

With the comfort of the hug and the hate you’ve been getting, you started to cry. He gently scratched your back and carried you over to your bed, laying you down and then laying down next to you. He just held you and never let go, after a while you felt yourself start to feel tired. After a minute of your eyelids feeling heavy, you fell asleep in his arms. He smiled to himself, whispered an I love you, and kissed your forehead.

The next morning you were in your bed alone. You sighed already missing your boyfriend, but knowing he has a busy schedule you forced yourself to cheer up a bit. You opened your phone to your friends texting you, telling you to open Enhypen’s Weverse. You were rightfully confused but did it anyways. You saw a post:

🌟 니키 : My dearest. With the picture he took of the two of you sitting by the wall, you staring at him with stars in your eyes and him smiling.

Of course fans went crazy, both Bunnies and Engenes. You smiled texted the boy a simple, “I love you.” and went on with your day.

————————

☆ authors note:: i’m sorry if this isn’t what you had in mind, i tried my best 😭😭. Have a wonderful day/night/afternoon ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[soobinsfavfuck]

soft hour recs ! 💒

finding your inner child w skz

( as someone who has ALOT of childhood trauma this has very calming & sweet scenarios )

cuddling w minho

( highly recommend this blog ! their amazing you won’t regret reading any of their fics i promise )

a sweet little walk w ni-ki

( in which you and riki go on a little walk making precious memories )

jungwon big spooning

( just a cute little cuddle session w your pretty cat boy boyfriend )

needy for enha’s attention

( how would enha react to their s/o needing affection? + I love niki’s part sm!! )

kissing chae randomly

( you couldn’t resist your pretty gf but unfortunately you gotta be more careful lesbian love isn’t easy :( )

chaewon’s reaction to you dancing to anti fragile

( caption pretty much says it all ! )

not telling txt ily back

( you played a little prank on your bf forgetting how petty your mans are✋😹 )

first time telling txt ily

( this one’s just precious😞🫶 )

lemme know if you wanna be in my tag list !

m.list

[finallydelight]

GOLDEN DISC AWARDS 2023

On January 7, 2023, the 37th edition of the Golden Disc Awards took place in Bangkok, Thailand. SEVENTEEN attended and took home 3 awards: Best Album Bonsang, Thai K-Pop Artist and Best Performance.

– AWARD CEREMONY

∙ Ming sat in-between Joshua and Dokyeom when they first entered the venue to watch the first few performances. Fans present at the ceremony were amused, because Ming was the only member on their row to dance and sing along to the performances. Joshua, Dokyeom and Jeonghan seemed more intrigued by Ming's reaction to the live stages than the actual performances.

∙ After accepting their first two awards, the members were seated differently and this time Ming sat next to Woozi and Jun. The ceremony lasted quite long, and Woozi and Ming were visibly getting tired. The two vocalists let their heads hang and seemed to be dozing off, when the camera cut to their group. Jun shook Ming, who then shook Woozi and they laughed it off, a bit embarrassed that they were caught falling asleep.

∙ The members of LE SSERAFIM were seated in the row behind Ming and she frequently turned around to interact with them. Although, her members kept having to move her around, so she could pay attention to the ceremony and performances. 

– BEHIND THE SCENES

∙ When the entire group arrived at the venue and were walking to their dressing room, the girls of LE SSERAFIM were standing not too far from their door. As soon as they saw the Seventeen members approaching their dressing room, they walked over and addressed them. The two groups greeted each other and wished each other well for their performances.

Yunjin and Chaewon lightly pushed Eunchae towards Ming. The senior group were a little confused as the junior maknae didn't say anything and looked very flustered. Yunjin decided to help her member out and pulled a bag from behind Eunchae's back that she had been holding onto. The girl quietly mumbled ''It's for your birthday, sunbaenim.'' Ming was very flattered by the gesture and thanked her by giving her a hug, which Eunchae immediately reciprocated. Ming assured the young girl that she didn't have to buy her anything and that she'll take her out to dinner once they're back in Korea.

∙ While walking back from the bathroom, Ming ran into some members of ENHYPEN (Heeseung, Jay, Sunoo and Jungwon). The boys greeted her and Jungwon took the initiative to wish her a happy birthday. Ming was touched and thanked him. ''Ooh~ thank you, Jungwonnie.'' She also pinched his cheek, not able to resist his cuteness. The young boy became very flustered by her words and action, and his cheeks and ears coloured red. His members teased him and Ming simply smiled at him, finding it adorable. They wished each other luck with their performances and cheered each other on.

∙ Ming was in a very big sister-mood as she also made it to NewJeans's dressing room completely on her own. She had only met and talked with Hyein before, when they filmed a TikTok together dancing to Hype Boy along with ENHYPEN's Ni-Ki. Ming introduced herself and told them she was a fan of them. The girls excitedly thanked her and said that she's one of their role models, and that they are happy they're in the same label.

The SVT member assured them that if they ever need advice or need a listening ear, she would always be willing to talk to them or buy them some food. They thanked her again, and expressed their gratitude for her words.

∙ When Dino was on the stage with the rest of the idols born in the year of the rabbit, Ming along with Mingyu filmed him doing his dance with Changbin. While Mingyu posted his video on Instagram Story, Ming send hers to Yeonjun, captioning it: ''What you're missing here :)''

Taglist: @mystic-luv @cosmicwintr @mythicalamphitrite @billboard-singer @stopeatread @still-astray @sakuurra @multiplums @giverosespls @seongwhaffels @kimhyejin3108 @smoooore @smh-anon

[pannaginip]

Philippine Collegian, official student publication of UP Diliman, on Twitter @phkule:

Dalawang taon makalipas, nanatili ang kawalan ng hustisya para sa pagpaslang ng estado kina Chad Booc at sa New Bataan 5. Sa hamon na paglingkuran ang taumbayan, mananatiling buhay ang legasiya na iniwan ng mga tulad nina Booc na buong-loob nakipamuhay kasama ang masa at nagsilbing guro sa higit na nangangailangan.

[Two years have passed, yet injustice prevails for the state-sponsored murders of Chad Booc and the New Bataan 5. In their struggle to serve the people, the legacy left behind by people such as Booc, who wholeheartedly lived with the masses and served as a teacher to those in need, lives on.]

Basahin ang lathalain ng Collegian noong 2017 sa karanasan ni Booc bilang guro sa Lumad schools dito:

[Read the Collegian's 2017 article on Booc's experience as a teacher in Lumad schools here:]

2024 Feb. 24

The attached photo is of Chad Booc with the following caption:

On this day, Pebrero 25, 2022:

Pinaslang ng militar si Chad Booc, isang Lumad volunteer teacher, kasama ang apat na volunteer sa New Bataan, Davao De Oro, dalawang taon na ang nakalilipas.

Nakapagtapos si Booc bilang cum laude sa degree na computer science sa UP Diliman.

[Chad Booc, a Lumad volunteer teacher, was murdered by the military alongside 4 other volunteers in New Bataan, Davao De Oro, two years ago. Booc graduated cum laude from UP Diliman with a degree in computer science.]

[ejesgistnews]

Nollywood actress Tawa Ajisefinni has penned a heartfelt note to her colleague, Tope Osoba. Ejes Gist News reported on Friday that Foluke Daramola had shared a video of Osoba appreciating the public for supporting and rendering financial assistance to her to undergo breast cancer surgery. Captioning the video, Foluke revealed that Tope had gone through the surgery, and though they didn’t get much, they appreciated the public for their assistance. Daramola noted how her family members rallied around and were able to pay for the surgery, but they still hoped for the public’s support. See the video here. Biden Greenlights Ukraine’s Use of US Long-Range Missiles Against Russia Taking to her Instagram page, Tawa said she was sorry to see Tope go through all this. Wishing her a quick recovery, she urged the public to render financial assistance to her. “Temitope I am sorry to see you go through all of these. I wish you a very quick recovery. Oo ni balo olorun, alaafia a toh e. Fan, please, Tope needs you. We all need your help with her surgery e jor. No amount is small”. Similarly, Alesh Sanni had expressed how sad he was, however, he was happy that he wasn’t posting in RIP. Calling for her assistance for the actress, he stated that he wished he could take care of all her bills, but he couldn’t. The actor, who was short of words, begged the public to help her out as he described Tope as a sweet and amazing person and a giver. In February, in an interview with her colleague, Biola Bayo, Temitope recounted a traumatizing moment of sexual assault by a family member. The upcoming Yoruba actress, who took a break from the industry, revealed that she moved out of her ‘toxic’ grandmother’s house to stay with her uncle. Unfortunately, things turned out worse for her, as her uncle was sexually assaulting her and making advances towards her, which affected her career to some extent and she suffered depression because of her inability to make ends meet

[renesf]

Dateline Zürich: CaptioNation

by Maria Bratikova Here‘s a photo of a creature on a drip. Easy to make a caption: Binugbog daw ni misisNa-od sa baby powderThe prayer for his passing is taking effectThe dawn is comingWe don‘t need his ouster noe that he‘s sickRambulan sa PalasyoTrangkaso yanFlu-like Symptoms: A sign of drug abuseThe pulvoron effectLisa goes haywireLet Sara leadWho is running the government now that he is…

[benefits1986]

Better Stories Incoming

In line with training my protein and Vitamin D-deficient social muscles, let's let better stories march in, yes?

It's my last day for a leave and I'd like to start it with trying to share as much new stories that are worthwhile. It's not gonna be easy as I'm usually housed in my tiny Manila home, but, I guess that it's gonna make RTO better and more manageable. Also trying to be more at peace with city life that's obviously here to stay for the next three years. Tiny house outside Manila will be my delulu halfway house for roadtrips and food trips, so, I think that works, too.

January 1 started strong with two stories from my purple people which really caught me off guard. Been doing household chores and errands since we're adulting, too.

I missed a few calls from a good friend and asked her what's up. She usually calls when she's in Manila, BGC to be exact and wants to hang out and/or has an SOS. I asked her what's up because I'm kinda on my toes for the past days about her. She called back and I was greeted by her French tip nails with a ring on her finger. She's officially engaged to her boyfriend. I had no reaction at first and was thinking if I wanna cry since their love story is a curious one. I didn't go there. The BF is Spanish and can't speak Tagalog yet, so the conversation was kinda strained. LOL.

When I finally understood the purpose of the call, I congratulated them. My intuition has been telling me that this is coming last December so instead of the usual kamusta, I asked my friend to make sure that her nails are always spot on. Nakining naman. Hahahahaha. I've been praying for this couple since Day Zero. When they started dating, my friend has been updating me about the ganaps and as a silent fan girl no matter what, I cheered for her to just let it happen. HAHAHAHAHA. Lowkey lang talaga ang galawan, ang support, walang bakas online ako kasi nga people will always say things naman, so whatever. :p I told my friend that I've got her and even when I need to lobby this to her parents, push. Hahahaha. Ganung levels ng ganaps kasi nga, you know, her parentals are booming and bombing. 'Pag kinamusta ako kung anong balita sa anak nila, I usually say: Malaki na po and of age anak ninyo, tito. Kaya na po niya sarili niya. Hihihihi. Tiwala lang.

I remember "approving" and "recommending" edits and slants for her lowkey captions when they were still dating. HAHAHAHA. Borderline enabler talaga ako because true love knows no fear HOWEVER, lowkey is the key, after all... always. No hard launch unless sure na... 'yan sabi ko sa kanya. LELS. So every time she'd post a run, a hike, a bike, alam na kung ano ganap at sino kasama. 'Di ako kilig actually during their dating season kasi I'm looking after my friend since she's a hopeless romantic and it's her first time to have a serious relationship, kaya super duper alalay mode ako sa kanya pero not toxic kasi nga, mabait na ako. :p Plus, dasal levels namin dito is 100000000000000.

There'd be too many times when she'd ask why things happen that way and all I'd say is: Ganyan talaga. Keep at it. Kung 'di mag-work, e 'di move on; but darling, what if you fly? CHOZ. These convos spanned across the universe for about 2 or 3 years, I think.

As a fan of showbiz and Kardashians and Taylor siya, this expat friend wants photos and videos of her ganaps, even her engagement. Syempre, pinakita sa akin photos when the BF went down on one knee. Sappy, corny, pero, OK. Ginalingan... just the way my friend likes it. Audience lang naman ako. In fairness, sa nails lang talaga ako focused kasi 'di maganda natural nails ni friend ko. LOL. Bonus: Teal pa color ng nails niya sa engagement. :p

Hindi rin ako kinilig sa news kasi for me, dapat lang naman ma-engage sila noh. Hahahahahaha. Since we're of prime age and the goal of dating nung friend ko is to marry and not to fucking play around, sabi ko talaga: Please Lord, eto na dapat 'yun kasi anong petsa na, right? Please lang. As in. Paki gawaan na ng paraan. Lord, unahin mo muna love life neto. If meron for me, prio mo ko next. Eto kasing friend ko, ang daming gusto na timebound. Ako naman, bahala ka na lang after matawid 'yung kaniya. HAHAHAHAHA. Side Note: Since matandang dalaga a number of my small circle, believe it or not, when I pray, inuuna ko talaga 'yung mga sobrang prio nila sa listahan ang makasal agad at magkaanak before the eggs expire. Hahahaha. Seryoso 'yan a, lalo when it involves crying ng mga decent single women na kulang na lang talaga e lalaking magmamahal sa kanila ng todo at totoo. LOLOLL. Me: Lord, okay naman akong maghintay PLUS syempre, etong mga 'to e kailangang dumaan sa mga basic level muna ng relationship bago mapadpad sa advanced level, so, I'm willing to wait; even kinda late. LUH. Hahahahahaha. Shemay.

So, answered prayer for January 1 tayo real slow and steady. This side of me is pretty much undetectable because I'm guarding my hidden heart from intruders who'd fuck my giver self hard, to be honest. However, this news is walang salag in as far as true love knows no fear and boundaries, talaga. :) It's not even about how big and solid the diamond is though I can't unsee. Hahahahaha. Kaya pala todo tipid 'tong BF niya sa gifts sa kanya nung mga nakaraang celebrations nila. HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI. Syempre, nagulat kami nung friend ko kasi 'di naman mahilig BF niya sa gifts na bongga. Gusto niya meaningful which I really like kasi my friend buys too much stuff na. :p 'Yung too much levels na ako na mismo nagpipigil sa kanya pero coping strategy niya 'yun 'pag stress siya sa work with matching approval from me at times especially when pop of color is involved. Tawang-tawa nga ako kasi pati ako ba naman, laging may: Mamsh, gusto mo? Me: PHP po ako, ikaw HKD with gingko biloba. Lubayan mo ako. Alis. Hahahahaha. As a lakas-maka shalang career woman who's rocking her expat life, being her beau is not easy. Workaholic 'to e; pero she really made time and effort for her relationship to take center stage. Syempre, todo adjustments sa work flow niyang 'di umaayaw forda BGC condo and forda bills in life; but, sabi ko nga: If you want things to pan out well, mag-effort ka. Itodo mo pero mag-tira ka rin for yourself, just in case shit hits the pan.

And we're here and now. :) They're a solid step closer to her version of Endgame na. Wala na rin akong biglaang visits sa Pinas whereas dahil stressed siya, biglang may flight kami kung saan para lang mag-bonding kami ng todo. Hahahaha. Eto pa isa sa dasal ko kasi super duper clingy 'tong friend ko na 'to: Lord, bigyan mo siya ng travel buddy na, partner in crime all the way pa. Please. Para maka-exit frame na ako bilang napaka moody and clingy netong taong ito.

May ilang flights and trips kaming out of budget ko talaga kasi mhie, marami po tayong inaasikaso. Nag-away pa kami at times kasi nga, she'll shoulder all expenses paid levels and sabi ko naman: Too generous pero i-save mo na lang 'yan for your next designer buys. HAHAHHAHA. Medyo may FO na legit levels na rin kami lalo nung nasa Palawan ako and birthday celeb niya na ako lang wala. :p Sabi ko naman na we planned everything na so kahit wala ako doon, it's fine. Nagalit ba naman ng malala. Simple lang naman daw ng wish niya and she knows I like trips. Nagalit din ako kasi nga, 'wag ako kasi ayoko pang bumalik sa Manila. Hahahahahaha.

And sooooo, here we go, 2024! Patuloy mo akong gulatin, please? Also, more reasons to keep my weight and work-hustles under control because two weddings are gonna come late this year or early next year na agad-agad, January 2 pa lang. Woohoo. ;) Sana December wedding na 'di makakaabala sa mga leaves ko or -ber para 'di mainit, unless beach wedding 'tong mga 'to na sana maganda ang sunset and may full moon party involved. LOL. Daming gusto noh? Abangan!

[r-andriani]

I AM MY MOTHER'S CHILD, I'LL LOVE YOU TILL MY BREATHING STOPS

Yak, tadinya mau random post di Instagram @im.p0ss1bl3, cuma ternyata I type so much ga muat di caption. So to Tumblr I resort. "I am my mother's child, I'll love you till my breathing stops." ini sebenarnya sepotong syair lagu mba Lorde di album Melodrama. Lagu cinta-cintaan sik, tapi gue ambil line ini karena cocok dengan foto berikut (I'm a child) dan sedikit reflection below which is apprently too lengthy for Instagram caption (I am my mother’s child). Beliau bikin ni album post breakup sama cowonya dulu yang mukanya kaya kodok. Enak banget albumnya. Kalau ada yang mau bawel tentang ni album or mba Lorde herself dipersilakan untuk dm gue.

Pada dua gambar gemaz berikut alis gua terlihat seperti biasanya, ga pernah bener (bahasa halus: imperfect). But the story no one asked is, since beauty is fucking expensive, I have to trade my "utmost" beauty for this hero shit I'm on and it feels completely worth it. Sense of kurang perfect-nya kebayar sama sense of happy-nya and fulfillment-nya ketika ngelihat Ibu bahagia ketika gw jajanin es krim, beliin roko, bensin, makanan enak, isi token listrik supaya beliau tidur nyenyak pakai ac after fighting battles the whole day, atau sekedar nyambung hidup saja kita sujud sukur sik. 

Microblading alis yang gue pengen, it costs 2,5jt. Gw belum bisa spend that amount ke satu hal se-gapenting alis. Wants & needs tighter than germany's bureaucracy (they denied my entry twice). Itu duit gw pakai dulu untuk main cosplay jadi dewa somplak buat emak gue yang sudah ga punya siapa-siapa lagi selain anaknya. Dan gw masih mikir-mikir juga sih buat microblading eyebrows karena sometimes gw masih bisa rock a look yang alis botak (my face is just born sexy). Seems kurang asik juga if my brows were done permanently. Maybe I just need to master the art of drawing it properly. Lagipula, gw begini aja sebenarnya sudah cukup cakep lah. Albeit there are few things yang bisa di-improve. I mean, not to brag but given kulit gue amburadul aja I still get by, by being pretty despite the skin flaws. God made me pretty, I guess. Makasih, allah. still nanti kalau sudah sanggup, gw bakal benerin kulit sih. I am pretty, but I can be prettier (healthier).

Bisa dilihat juga di sini kuku saya cantik abis nyalon bukan nyaleg ya. Pan pan pan, hidup semakin pantat. I suppose at least my nails is where the very little self-care lies. Karena kalau nails itu ibaratnya kayak lo jajan kopi/cemilan aja, 100-200 ribu doang, terus bisa cantik sebulan kukunya. Gw lebih rela alis botak dan tampak wajah masih amburadul (talking bout the messy eyeliner & lipdo) daripada tangan gw jelek. (As I've also often said I'd rather starve than look ugly so next time you ask "kamu kurusan bgt, em, kamu makan ga si?" that might be the answer). Gw spend more energy, time, money invested on my nail aesthetics than the face (and food). I think that's because I notice I use a lot of hand gestures when I talk, bagian tubuh yang paling keliatan ketika lagi interaksi sama orang, selain tete gw which I'm highkey also insecure about. Tapi lebih ke ga suka aja sih, bukan insecure kali ya, gw cuma kurang nyaman bawa-bawa beban tete tiap hari, capek. Tapi gw sudah accept juga sih badan gw begini adanya. Pe er banget kalau sampe tete aja diotak-atik. However, as I've said million times before, I would donate my huge breasts if I could.

Lah ni caption kok jadi panjang bener. Gatau ni tentang apaan. Jadi kemana-mana topiknya. Namanya juga instagram user im.p0ss1bl3 (revenge.and.recycle reborn). Wassalamualaikum, hepi friday dan salam fuck it we ball utk hadirin semuanya 🙏