#nhs aren’t heroes

[saintsenara]

I’m curious why you loathe the implication that wizards are immune to muggle diseases. Is it because it reinforces the idea that they aren’t really the same species as muggles?

thank you very much for the ask, @urupotter!

and the answer is - yes, pretty much.

how the body is understood, how illness and disability are thought about, how the medical system works etc. are all questions that i am primed to obsess over in any piece of media - even when they're not actually significant parts of the story.

which is to say, i completely understand the reason why the harry potter series treats these topics in the way it does. magical medicine isn't one of the themes the story is designed to focus on - which means that its purpose is as incidental worldbuilding detail which reinforces the whimsical vibe of the earlier books and the darker vibe of the later ones, and which means that its treatment in the text makes sense within the setting and genre conventions of canon. harry being able to take a bludger - a cast-iron cannonball moving at speed - to the head and living to tell the tale is the same as john wick being able to fall from a great height, land on his back, and then get up and walk around: he's an action hero in a fantasy.

and so wizards being more physically durable than muggles - and also wizards having their own magical diseases, and being immune to muggle ones - all makes sense within the context of the books as literature. kids don't want to read about harry having a cold. they want to read about him being a wizard.

but when i'm deciding to enjoy myself by taking the question of just how fucked-up wizarding society is much more seriously than canon does... the implication that wizards are immune to muggle diseases and that they are broadly unaffected by physical trauma unless that trauma has a magical cause really bothers me. entirely - as you say - because it directly undermines the series' thesis that the purity of magical blood is irrelevant and that the wizarding world's dehumanisation of muggles and muggleborns by treating them as, essentially, separate, lower species is wrong.

the main canon example of this which i detest is dumbledore's suggestion in half-blood prince that merope gaunt could have survived childbirth if she'd simply "raised her wand to save her own life". after all, if a little bit of magic makes one immune to experiencing complications during childbirth [unlike thousands upon thousands of muggles throughout history, who would probably have very much liked to have lived to see their children grow up]... then voldemort is completely justified in thinking merope's death was a selfish, shameful, deliberate choice.

[i do understand that the idea merope chose to die is primarily included in the text so dumbledore can segue into saying that lily "had a choice too", contributing to the gradual reveal in half-blood prince and deathly hallows that she's the key to the whole mystery. but i still think that jkr could maybe have though a little bit harder about what she was suggesting with this than she evidently did...]

and so i think in fandom it's both fun and important not to accept the idea that wizards are automatically resistant to anything which might kill, injure, or disable a muggle - especially because it lets us really play with some of the big worldbuilding questions surrounding the conventions and institutions of wizarding society.

what do disability rights look like in a world which is so rabidly intolerant of difference, and which appears not to have any sort of welfare state? the nhs is a recent invention, created in a muggle britain which is culturally and institutionally separate from the wizarding one: so is treatment at st mungo's free - and, if not, what happens to those who can't pay? how is queerness understood in a society which appears to have views on sexual expression which are fairly conservative - and how does this mean the wizarding state responded to the aids crisis? what do reproductive rights look like in this kind of society? if the dementor's kiss results in - essentially - a vegetative state, what is done with the people the kiss has been performed on? what might it be like for your relative to develop dementia at 100... when you know they might live to 250? what impact do biases about blood status have on how muggleborn patients are treated?

i just think it's interesting!

[senjuushi]

Noble Musketeer Story: Cutlery

Episode 1: Similar From Behind

One day at the military academy.

Kiseru: Hey, Jitte! 

Jitte: Well, if it isn’t Kiseru-kun! Glad to see you again! When did you get here? 

Kiseru: Just a bit ago. How is it over here? You doing well? 

Jitte: Something like that. I’m giving it my all every day, so I don’t make trouble for everyone. 

Jitte: ...oh! Professor Kyoudou had asked me to lend a hand over here. 

Jitte: Sorry, I have to go for a bit. If you have time tonight, come to the rooftop for a drink... how about it? 

Kiseru: Sounds great! I’ll look forward to it. 

*scene changes to a hallway*

Kiseru: That’s... 

Kiseru: Cutlery...?

Cutlery: ...ah, it’s nice to see you again, Kiseru.

Kiseru: ...oops. 

Cutlery: —as if. Sorry, but I’m not the Resistance’s Cutlery! 

Cutlery: I’m a Belgian Antique. Nice to meet you, Kiseru, oh highly esteemed smoking pipe-type bizarre gun of the Revolutionary War.

Kiseru: ...I see. I’m sorry if I offended you. You looked a lot like a dear old friend of mine from behind, that’s all. 

Cutlery: ...huh...? No... it’s not like you offended me or anything. 

Cutlery: I’m just sick of hearing about the Resistance’s bizarre gun, that’s all. You used to hang around with that Cutlery? 

Kiseru: I did! Cutlery, Cane-san, and I, we used to—

Cutlery: So you were close to such hated people. 

Kiseru: ...ah?

Cutlery: What’s with that blank look? Are you stupid or something? ...if you were their friend, you’d know. How “we” were hated. 

Kiseru: ......

Cutlery: With us, a gun’s mechanisms were installed in tableware, so we wouldn’t be recognized as one at first glance— a concealed weapon. 

Cutlery: It’s a cowardly weapon that you bring to the dinner table so you can send someone you hate straight to the afterlife. And on top of that, it was used by pirates and robbers on the seas. 

Cutlery: So basically, we’re hated people used by hated people. You don’t normally want to keep a guy like that too close, right?

Kiseru: ......

Cutlery: But y’know, the Resistance’s Cutlery... he was really pathetic. 

Cutlery: He was a hated person who wound up hailed a “hero” for fighting the life-or-death struggle that was the Revolutionary War. I’m not the one who everyone’s making a fuss over— I’m a different gun! 

Cutlery: Thanks to that hero, a comfortable life fell into my hands with no effort at all... I should probably thank him. Haha! 

Kiseru: ...you. 

Cutlery: Wh-What? 

Kiseru takes one big step forward and closes the distance between himself and Cutlery. He slowly reached his hand toward Cutlery, who’d tensed in anticipation, and—

Cutlery: Uwah!? 

He began to messily ruffle Cutlery’s hair. 

Cutlery: Wai... what!? St— uwah, stop it..!  

Kiseru: ...I love the Cutlery who’s my friend, of course. However... right now, I’m glad that I got to meet you too!! 

Cutlery: Huh...? D-Did you hear me at all!? We’re hated...! 

Kiseru: Yeah, I heard you. I heard you, and that’s why I said what I did, boy. 

Cutlery: B-Boy!? 

Kiseru: C’mon... oh, your guns are decorated differently. Well now, they’re gorgeous. Let me get a better look, Cutty-boy. 

Cutlery: Cutty-bo... hey, you aren’t seriously calling me that!? I’ll shoot you if you make fun of me! 

Kiseru: Hahaha! Some spirit you have. I like it! 

Cutlery: A-Are you listening to me!? 

Kiseru: ...ahh, what magnificent decoration. The one who made you was a fine artisan, no doubt. 

Cutlery: Uu... ah...

Kiseru: This here... is an engraving of a woman. A real beauty. Looks like she’s straight outta heaven, huh? 

Cutlery: ....nh!

Kiseru: Wait, now that I get a better look, is she a mermaid...? Hey, Cutty-boy. What’s this—

Cutlery: Shut up. ...if you say another word, I really will shoot you. 

Kiseru: Hm...? 

Cutlery snatched his guns back from Kiseru and ran. As he approached a turn in the corridor, he ran into (Player Name), who was walking around it at the same time. 

Cutlery: Uwah!? 

Master: 

Are you crying? 

Your hair is all messed up. 

Cutlery: ...don’t look at me...! 

Kiseru: Wait up, Cutty-boy! ...oh dear, did I make him hate me? 

Kiseru: Heey, Cutty-boy! Next time we meet, let’s have a good chat!

[barneyandthepoetrymuse]

Headwind…..Into the narrative….!

It’s may the thirtieth…2024……

We’ve never been closer than we now are to world war…..

There’s no number greater that three, we won’t get to anymore…..

Get these fuckers in a room or show them all the door…..

Take a seat gentlemen…oh, and don’t forget the ladies…..

It’s international woman’s day…are we all wearing our daises…

We’ve opened the borders, you’re not making enough babies…..

The population isn’t doing as well as it was in the eighties…..

You go girl written on their feminist faces….

Nothing’s looked at on a case by case basis…..

Inequality and hate speech but who’s singing our praises…?

We’re paying in taxes coming out of our wages…..!

The woke generation and ours can’t co-exist…

Still complaining about eras and shaking their fists…

A bloke went to prison because of a hicky from a kiss…..

While she was wanking him off and rubbing her tits…..🤷🏻‍♂️

Accusation stations and a large application of make up…..

It doesn’t seem to matter…how many dicks she’s sucked…..

We’re the ones getting screwed…so you can get fucked….

She changed her mind after and didn’t consent to be touched…!

You’ll still have to face it…..even if it’s baseless…..

If you state a fact these days you’re a misogynistic racist…..

Pick and mixed race with transitional spaces…..

But aren’t blokes now allowed in…..private female places…..!?

There’s so many contradictions in the crap we buy into….

It’s like an addiction to the bullshit and ignorance of half truths…..

They’re still picking fights on geopolitical issues….!

Waving their dicks in the air and running out of tissues….

Pack up your toys and stop fighting with pillows…..

The history books are already stacked full of hero’s…..

It’s awesome in print if when it strokes a few ego's….!

They criminalise your drugs and hand out placebos…..

Has anyone a clue anymore about what lives matter…??

A young woman was the victim of an acid attacker….

White has been washed and the population is blacker…

Complaining about hand outs on their iPhones getting fatter…!

Evidently air travel is now riskier due to climate change…!?

It couldn’t be anything to do with the new Bowing planes…..?

Walk around London handing out your spare change…

Multi-culture of Islam making calital gains…

Does democracy consent to the places we’re heading…..?

And these are the countries we’re supposed to be defending…

Where’re all being shamed for not gender bending…..

It’s the middle of a storm flying into a headwind…..!!

We’re breaking apart from Scotland and Wales….

Blow up the north stream and build a train line that fails…..!

The NHS is barely clinging on by its nails….

They’ve sold all the public services including the Royal Mail…..

Pay your tv licence of they’ll put you in jail…

Put that money back into health and then see if it fails…..

Or toss a few more billion at Ukraine and Israel…..

Can it get much worse than it is right now…?

What are we levelling up and where in the world…?

Our military is recruiting boys who are girls….

LGBT is fucking up everybody else…..

Is this really the standard we’re setting ourselves…..?

[anxious-scrambles]

Spent most of this week living up to my username and having crippling acute anxiety symptoms.

The paranoid delusions were a trip.

I’ve been back in my own head for a couple of days now and honestly shoutout to the people in NHS mental health services who are really really trying despite devastating budget and resource cuts.

Yeah I know mental healthcare in the UK is pretty garbage overall but in my acute phase, I can’t fault any of them. You’re all heroes and I’m sorry you aren’t given the tools you need to help people.

[tavina-writes]

this entire thing below is a meta essay I wrote in response to my NHS post canon mental breakdown fic (which I also never uploaded anywhere until now bc lolsob writing meta about your own fic and its influences...) which I think is the fic that I wrote that is CLOSEST to Jin Yong vibes and register that I've written. At least, the closest one that I did on purpose:

Hooooboy where to even begin on my thoughts regarding the combined MDZS+XAJH universe. Anyway there has to be a note re: my thoughts about the combined MZDS XAJH universe, starting from the first part of CQL where WWX talks about duguqiuyibai. (look up what episode this is in btw). In my brain, CQL takes place in a post XAJH world, where both the five great sword sects (what little remained of them after XAJH lmao) and the sun-moon sect (what little remained of IT after Yingying kind of disbanded it and ran off) are both long gone. 

My nerd brain also says that because this is a combined universe, people are more often than not to learn uh, well, not entirely accurate versions of history and also to take the wrong lessons from it. XAJH is a story about how “orthodoxy” and “unorthodoxy” aren’t as important as one’s personal choice to be a good person. Liu Zhengfeng and Qu Yang died due to powerful men on both sides of the “orthodoxy” and “unorthodoxy” debate persecuting them because such friendships between the two sides undermined their personal power, but with the strict way that the MZDS jianghu views orthodoxy = good — and the way that history distorts after the years and the confusion surrounding the Liu family massacre — it’s entirely possible that the MZDS society centuries later remembers this whole thing as a cautionary tale, and Linghu Chong as an unfilial disruptive bastard rather than a hero. Now, of course, in a cycle of repetition and tragedy, the story of Liu Zhengfeng and Qu Yang are a cautionary tale in parallel to Linghu Chong and Ren Yingying who escape the troubled and doomed fate of their elders by permanently leaving society. However, WWX and LWJ are yet another inversion of this parable regarding orthodoxy and unorthodoxy and persecution, and end up needing a second lifetime to be able to escape from the confines of societal persecution.

I cannot stress enough how much Jin Yong’s works — and Xiao Ao Jiang Hu especially — have influenced me as a writer and as a result, this fic, where so much of the concept of chivalry, revenge, and deceit are present. I have always thought that XAJH’s themes — of hypocrisy, of loss, of being banished from one’s sect, of maintaining heroism, of the sheer crippling sorrow of having lost almost the entirety of the older generation, of destruction, of powerful older men browbeating young sect leaders into committing or at least ignoring horrific acts of destruction and violence — have in a lot of ways, resonated with the themes of MZDS and CQL. There is a loss of innocence, of horrifying, terrible hypocrisy, of being taken advantage of, of being sent to the slaughter when all you wanted was to do the right thing present in XAJH’s political allegory, which parallels much more WWX’s character arc in this situation than NHS. And yet, something about NHS’s extended grief arc here represents so much of hypocrisy and deceit, both in what he dealt and what he was dealt.  WRH’s descent into madness arc comes from my love for another one of Jin Yong’s side characters, this time Huang Yaoshi from LOCH and ROCH (legend and return of the condor heroes respectively) and how his hubris and indeed, greed for certain martial arts techniques led directly to the loss of his wife and his mental breakdown which saw him break the legs of all his disciples and banish them from Peach Blossom Island, in a move that would haunt him (and kickstart some vital events of both novels) for years to come. HYS and WRH are paralleled in my mind as eccentrics, brilliant inventors, and heretics, deeply proud, deeply esoteric in their martial leanings, and deeply deeply complex.

They’re, at least in my brain, both characters that are not easily taken apart and consumed. Besides, I have a deep and long abiding love for brilliant, arrogant, slightly insane polymaths who might also be single fathers who dote on their children, and HYS is the original and the most brilliant of them all lmao. 

Some of the writing style of the more narratively distant scenes in this story are also inspired by the style of Jin Yong, especially the scene of the introduction of Hai-shi or Madam Lan, and to that end, I owe very much the friends at spcnet.tv forums who were my first gateway into fandom spaces, and the amazing and wonderful fan translator friends I made there, whose work I spent much of the early 2010s reading and who wholeheartedly welcomed my efforts in learning how to translate wuxia novels. Thank you so much to Ken and Lanny and all the other friends from there, who were so very patient with a much younger member of fandom. 

The sects themselves in my mind, and in this fic, also operate a little bit more like a typical Jin Yong wuxia genre setting that what is normal or typical of what I’ve seen in the fandom, and I could probably write a whole paper on the way that bloodline sects have enforced a terrible burden on the young people in this series and how it may have solved SOME jianghu problems but invented a whole bunch of others, and how as with any society that deals primarily with inheritance through bloodlines it eventually revealed a rot that has less to do with a specific person who has a lot of personal ability getting greedy, but a solidification of social status, inability to advance one’s social status, and placing much more emphasis on blood connections rather than any form of competency and what that has done to the characters of the Untamed (mostly grind them through a grist mill of misery caused directly by their social statuses and the stratification thereof) which is entirely atypical of the wuxia genre, BUT, I will spare everyone the screaming about that especially in the notes of a fic lol.

idk strictly if I can actually essay this in any way that makes entire sense but this bit of the recent mxtx interview sticks out to me bc I've been talking about how both cql (in many ways) and mdzs the book itself has in ways echoed Jin Yong novels (for me I primarily see the influences of XAJH and LOCH in MDZS) AND how the world of mdzs and its jianghu is so specifically and purposefully different than the typical jianghu you'd find in a wuxia (taking its primary influences from Jin Yong and Gu Long) that it has to be a purposeful departure against genre convention (I have a meta post about this somewhere in me that I have half written and I want to scream about it later when I have more braincells) and it's just!!!

it's so validating to know that THIS IS TRUE.

idk!!! idk!!! I'm just so excited!!!

[foreveralonewithmystupidthoughts]

Why can’t she just accept me? If she did, maybe others would.

So, tonight, my mum asked me if the girl I have been talking to knew I was a ‘lesbian’. I didn’t really give her a proper answer. Just said, that it didn’t matter.

Truth is, this girl, is the only person who calls me my name, Dylan. She’s the only person who refers me as He, Him, or His. She’s the only person who accepts me properly.

Yes some of my friends do know, but they don’t really use my name. Or use my pronouns He/Him/His. Maybe this is why I have become clingy with this girl, but she’s also become clingy to me.

She’s the first person to text me first, my other friends wait for me to message them. She’s the first person to buy me a friendship bracelet. She’s the first person to give me a nickname. She’s the first with everything.

I wished I could look at my mum and tell her ‘NO SHE KNOWS ME AS DYLAN, BECAUSE THAT IS WHO I AM! THAT IS WHO I ALWAYS BE, SO WHY DON’T YOU JUST EITHER ACCEPT ME OR GET OVER IT!’ But I didn’t. I got to scared.

I wish I could just run away from here. I wish I could go somewhere far away. But I can’t. Because everytime I think about it, I feel guilty! Guilty for leaving her in debt, guilty for leaving her without my money even though she moans about it when I spend any of it on myself.

Like, why can’t she just accept it? I’m 🚹 not 🚺. And I’m also ⚧. I have felt like this forever. This isn’t a fucking phase anymore. I’m being tortured by being in my own body.

She just won’t accept it because she thinks I’ll change my whole self. My personality, my likes and dislikes, I don’t know why??? It’s not like I’m going to change anything apart from my genitals!

I’m still going to be me. I’m still going to like serial killers, I’m still going to like conspiracy theories, I’ll still like the same bands as always!

Why don’t people understand that? I’m still me! I’m still going to be me! Just different gender.

What actually pissed me off is that she will accept EVERYONE BUT ME!!! She had a trans friend (but he changed his mind, my opinion he done it for attention), but yeah, accepted him. But she can’t accept me!!! Why not? I know I’m her kid, but still? Parents are suppose to love you no matter what.

She knew something was up with me all my life, she just can’t accept it herself. I know it would be difficult at first. I know she would misgender me a few times, call me by my old name (I don’t know if it is classed as a deadname if I’m still using it?) but I won’t mind, as long as I know she’s trying.

I wish she’d just come out and ask me or whatever. Even if she tells me to leave? I would go and I wouldn’t come back, only to get my stuff. I know she probably wouldn’t because I’m the one with the money, I’m the one that buys the shopping, the one that tops up the electric and gas. And honestly she’d feel ashamed because she knows I’d go to hospital still, and when they ask where my mum is, she knows I will tell them the truth. Especially the diabetes team! She will definitely feel ashamed.

She knows they’d be shocked at how a mother could disown their own child because of their gender. And causing them mental health issues and all sorts. And also chucking them out to fend for themselves with loads of serious illnesses. I wish I could tell them the truth. I wish I could greet them and say “hi! My names Dylan!” But I can’t.

I always wonder what they’d say and do? Would they be shocked? Would they be happy for me? Would they not want to know me anymore?

Just wish she’d accept me!!!

[cqlfeels]

In which I am overindulgent and make a(n incomplete) list of MDZS+ characters and the Tolkien characters they would love if they read and enjoyed his books*

* This isn’t to say they would get along with these characters if they met, just that they would like them as readers

Yunmeng Jiang

JYL: I mean, hobbits as a group, just in general. Particularly loves Rosie Cotton as portrayed in the book. (Might have cried reading Beren and Luthien, but only because she was going through A Lot at the time)

JC: It’s Boromir, but he feels like that’s the wrong answer somehow so he chooses Fingolfin and that also backfires because now everybody thinks he’s broadcasting his daddy issues when he just wanted to be the guy who stabs Morgoth

WWX: Doesn’t have a favorite when he’s young, but the older he gets, the more he appreciates Maedhros, for philosophical reasons. Has a crush on Glorfindel and doesn’t realize his experiences aren’t universal, which makes for Interesting conversations with other fans

Gusu Lan

LXC: I know the common fandom opinion is Elrond, and I definitely agree, but I think he’d also like Finrod. Depends on which book he’s reading, really

LWJ: Will not admit to liking anyone because he won’t lie, and the true answer is Feanor and he finds that mortifying. Caveat that the same instinct that gives him his canon YLLZ kink does make him prone to overreacting to like 90% of thirsty Sauron fancontent, which is something WWX found fun back when they were teenagers

LSZ: Throughout canon, from toddler all the way to the last scene, it’s Bilbo. Post-canon he suddenly loves Elrond. For reasons.

LJY: Gandalf for his dialogue. Developed a sudden passion for Beren As The Best First Age Hero the instant he noticed JL is a Turin fan (His favorite scene is the starving in the forest interrogation from The Hobbit, though)

Lanling Jin

JZX: Thingol Has Done Nothing Wrong Ever In His Life

JGY: If anyone asks, Barahir. Secretly? Rian.

MXY: Also Maedhros but for very different reasons than WWX. Has read every h/c fic on AO3, but also every dead dove, and at this point doesn’t remember what’s canon and what’s fanon

JL: Turin. (“Because he’s cool!” he will say to LJY, but it’s actually because he misses his parents) Also a huge fan of Huan as a concept

QS because I can: Indis, but before she had read HoME it was Legolas. People tend to find that confusing.

Qinghe Nie

NMJ: Men as a group, Theoden and Hurin in particular - you’re gonna die, but do it right

NHS: He doesn’t know, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know! If pressed, he’ll say Finarfin and it’s like, 75% true

Qishan Wen

WQ: Morwen, but she vibes with what Rivendell is trying to do

WN: Should be Sam, but he imprints on Fingon once he reads the Silm. WQ wishes he liked literally anyone else.

Bonus Yi City

XXC: Nienna, but he’s been known to Contemplate several characters

SL: Imrahil (Also: strict book purist, and a huge Gimli fan - these things are related)

XY: Doesn’t actually like Tolkien but ships silvergifting. Finds the fall of Numenor hilarious as a concept despite having only skimmed the Akallabeth

AQ: Honestly? She thinks Gollum is delightful

[pyrolight]

So uhhhhh my day job is literally making and fitting prosthetic limbs. And Aizawa is my favourite character. So naturally I’ve spent hours thinking about what kinda leg I would make for him AAAAAAAAAA

That said, I’m NHS based, so prosthetists in Japan probably use different tech? And also BNHA is set in like 2300 or something so they’ll probably have different tech by then anyway lol.

Either way I was really excited about designing something for my absolute fave.

Being a pro hero I think Aizawa would probably have a few different legs. This one is good for everyday use and hero work, but I imagine he’d have a running blade leg for training too. Blades are very difficult to walk on, and you can’t turn corners with them easily, so they aren’t suitable for everyday use.

Also I fully headcanon Eri finding the leg in the staff room or somewhere, and borrowing some nail polish from Nemuri to glam it up. And Present Mic’s influence = picking yellow for the inner laminate.

I think Mic also wanted to add a sticker for his radio show to the socket, but Aizawa said no. He secretly doesn’t mind the nails.

THE DETAILS:

I went with a foot that is a good all-rounder for really active people, and considering Aizawa tends to muck about on rooftops and jump off buildings and stuff I figured he would need both shock and torsion. It has a carbon fibre spring (like a mini blade) which stores energy and releases it at the end of each step, and also a shock/torsion unit built in (the round ball in the middle).

The socket is TSB style, meaning it treats the stump as a muscular hydrostat and distributes the user’s body weight across the whole stump. This tends to be a good option for really active people - more stability/control and less chance of bashing a cut-off end of bone. It has the added benefit of allowing a liner based suspension method - I went with seal/valve suspension! Low profile and unobtrusive but very secure. Pro hero friendly.

I did this for fun so I didn’t really think about how much jargon I was using, so if you find this interesting and want anything explaining just ask!!!!! I get really excited about prosthetics so sometimes I go full Deku talking about it and I don’t make full sense, alas

Also soz for my dodgy art skills xoxo I did my best

Also also I am new to tumblr so forgive me if I format/tag wrong etc... just lemme know and I can fix it!!

[ohhipstaplease]

idk if you're still doing prompts but nh + fluff 15? I'm sorry about all the fluff pieces but I live for fluff 😅

I’m sorry if it isn’t as fluffy as usual but I HAD to write something Team 8 centric to soothe my soul today. I can see this turning into a full fanfic though...at some point (I promise)

Fluff #15: “She’s/he’s not my boyfriend!”

After Hinata confesses to Naruto—and her “I love you” goes right over his head—Kiba takes matters into his hands to (finally) get the two idiots together.

Post Pain-Arc | Canon Divergence | Jealous (!) Naruto | Ao3

“You look cute today,” Kiba said nonchalantly to his teammate as she walked towards him. 

The Hyuga beauty had uncharacteristically pulled her hair up onto the top of her head in a high ponytail, her delicate features now on display for the world to see.

Hinata, already used to Kiba’s compliments, didn’t bat an eye when he said it, she simply responded, “Thank you! I just wanted to try something a little different,” She patted Akamaru’s head in greeting, the gentle giant licking her palm as she giggled.

Kiba took the opportunity to sneak up behind her and pull on her ponytail slightly, wanting to fix the slight hairs that were sticking out. He adjusted the simple lavender tie she had placed upon the top of it for good measure as well. 

Had anyone happened upon the pair, they probably would have thought there was more between them than a simple friendship, but they were used to it. Hinata didn’t even try to push him off, she simply let him fix her hair and looked up at him with a thankful smile when he was finished.

They were meeting up to have lunch, a much needed distraction after all the chaos that had ensued in the village during Pain’s attack. Unfortunately Shino was unable to join the pair for a well-deserved day off, leaving them to their own devices.

Kiba nodded as he stepped back and appreciated his work, “I like it. I’m sure Naruto will too,” He smirked.

She exhaled, her cheeks red and splotchy, “We’re not going to let it go, are we?”

“Hinata, you confessed to him.”

“It was in the middle of battle...spur of the moment,” She tried, suddenly regretting admitting to Kiba and Shino that she had, in fact, told the love of her life, Naruto Uzumaki, her true feelings for him. She knew they’d never let it go, not until Naruto gave her an answer either way. 

She just wasn’t ready to hear what he had to say. Even if he was ready to face what she had said to him head-on, “Besides,�� she mumbled, “he didn’t even acknowledge it...”

“You told him you loved him...you literally died for him. How could the idiot not see it?”

She shrugged pathetically, “It is what it is, don’t worry, Kiba.”

He sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets when suddenly it hit him. An idea so genius, even Shino had to approve. Akamaru, sensing that Kiba was about to say something Shino would in fact not approve of, whined and hit his master gently on his leg with his paw. 

Kiba ignored him, knowing that what he had in mind was just too perfect not to share, “Hinata?”

“Yes?”

“What if...what if we made Naruto jealous? Just to make him see what he’s missing.”

“W-what?”

“It’s the oldest trick in the book, Hyuga,” He took her hand into his as if he had done it millions of times before, “We go on a fake date, act all cute and shit, and when he sees us together he’ll magically realize his feelings for you. You know, because someone else has what he thought was his and all that bullshit?”

“You’re insane.”

“I know what boys are like, Hinata.”

She looked down at their interlaced fingers and sighed, “You’re sure this will work?”

“If it doesn’t, I’ll pay for lunch.”

“And dessert?”

“As many cinnamon rolls as your heart desires.”

Hinata exhaled and nodded, “Alright. I mean, there’s nothing left to lose, right?”

“That’s the spirit!” 

Kiba led Hinata forward, Akamaru following close behind. He was sure his plan was going to work, after all, he barely had enough to cover his portion of lunch. That alone should have proved how confident Kiba was that he’d get Naruto and Hinata to finally acknowledge their feelings for each other. 

.

.

.

.

.

.

“Okay, just follow my lead,” Kiba said as he spotted Naruto at his usual stool at Ichiraku. 

“Naruto! How are you? Healing up okay?” Kiba asked as he sat down next to the blonde, his hand still in Hinata’s.

Naruto squinted at them, tilting his head, “I-I’m fine. Thanks for asking...”

“That’s good to hear, we all deserve some time off after that mess, right Hinata?”

Hinata didn’t dare meet Naruto’s gaze, simply nodded and pretended as if he wasn’t even there. 

“Two bowls of pork miso ramen, please!” Akamaru barked and Kiba smiled down at him, “Oh right, it’s a special occasion. Make that three bowls!”

“Special occasion?” Naruto asked.

“Nothing you have to worry about, just celebrating a certain someone saying yes to a question I asked,” He said, looking at Hinata.

Naruto’s cheeks grew redder by the second as he studied them, “W-what?”

“I asked Hinata to be my girlfriend,” Kiba said, holding up her hand in his, “And she said yes.” He roughly pulled her into his embrace and pressed his cheek to hers, “Isn’t it great?”

Akamaru groaned behind the three, trying to ignore what was happening before him. It was getting a little too painful to watch. Kiba had never been known for his tact after all.

“So you two...are...dating?”

Hinata tried to interject, feeling sick over everything that was unfolding, “N-no we-” 

Kiba quickly slapped a hand over Hinata’s mouth and laughed, “Yeah! I confessed to her right after we got back to the village. I mean, it just seemed to be the right time and all, considering everything that happened.”

Naruto let out a breath and instead of continuing the conversation further, he flagged down Teuchi, “Old man, how much do I owe you?”

Teuchi quickly put up a hand and waved Naruto off, “Oh, no, we could never charge the village hero. Not after everything. Consider it on the house.”

Naruto nodded solemnly, gave a glance Kiba and Hinata’s way, and quickly turned to leave.

“Kiba!” Hinata said in a panic, “That definitely couldn’t have been a part of your plan!”

Kiba huffed, “Yeah...I didn’t think he’d just walk away like that. Maybe we need to try a different-”

Hinata ignored Kiba and decided to take matters into her own hands, what she should have done in the first place, really.

She got up from her seat, a flustered mess, and chased after Naruto. She screamed out without thinking, “Naruto-Kun!”

His head turned immediately towards her, his brow furrowed in confusion, “Hinata?”

“Naruto-” She panted, attempting to catch her breath as she caught up to him. 

“What are you doing? Aren’t you on...” He took a breath as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, a pout playing upon his lips, “Aren’t you on a date with your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” She yelled out, a little too passionately.

Naruto stifled a laugh at how ridiculously cute she looked. Her ponytail was slightly askew, her cheeks flushed and her lips ridiculously red from her biting her bottom lip. He had been biding his time since he had returned from the village, waiting to approach Hinata and talk about everything that had happened. About what she had said to him.

“Then why did he...”

Hinata sighed, so clearly embarrassed for going along with it. But...she quickly realized that Naruto was...jealous? She could see it in his eyes, the way he acted back at Ichiraku. He was clearly bothered by what had happened. Kiba was actually...right.

So she gathered her courage and firmly asked, “Why do you care?”

“Huh?”

“Whether or not Kiba and I are dating....why do you care?”

Naruto furrowed his brow, “I don’t, I-I just,” He groaned, “Hinata, it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter!”

“Why!?”

“I told you I loved you!”

Naruto looked at her wide-eyed, clearly in shock. Of course he knew she had confessed her feelings, but...they were also in the middle of a battle. He thought that...that maybe it wasn’t true. It was an adrenaline-fueled confession that she would walk back the moment they got back. That maybe...maybe she meant she loved him like she loved her teammates. That he was her precious friend, just as Sakura and Sasuke were his. He never imagined in his wildest dreams that the girl he’d always taken notice of always wanted to protect had been watching him too. That he’d grow to want to take care of her, to ensure she was okay. He didn’t know what that meant then, but he did now.

He didn’t understand his feelings until that day, in the midst of battle, and it killed him to think it took them nearly dying for him to comprehend that what he felt for her was far greater than friendship. 

“I-I know...” He managed to mutter, “It was just such a crazy day, Hinata. I thought that maybe I misheard you, or that you didn’t mean it in the way you did. I didn’t want to embarrass you by bringing it up again. I mean...we haven’t even talked since we got back.”

“Then let’s talk,” She said, looking down and shyly placing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I-I’d like that.”

“Yeah?”

Naruto grabbed the same hand Kiba had intertwined in his earlier, and claimed it as his, protectively interlacing his fingers in hers and squeezing her hand for good measure. 

It wasn’t like with Kiba at all, Hinata realized. Her heartbeat was out of time, her knees felt weak. Feeling Naruto under her touch was nearly too much for her to handle.

“Oh..um...” Naruto blushed as he met her gaze, “I really like your hair up, you know?”

“O-oh,” She smiled as she looked away, unable to look at him head on.

“It’s really cute.”

“T-thank you.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, of course. Um, why don’t we go get something sweet, yeah? We can talk at the tea shop?”

“Okay.”

The pair, hands still intertwined, walked toward the tea shop, a blush upon each of their faces.

Kiba, watching from outside Ichiraku, smiled to himself as he said to Akamaru, “See boy, it all went exactly as I said it would. Didn’t it? Next thing you know, we’ll be helping Hinata pick out a wedding dress.”

Akamaru rolled his eyes and continued eating from the offered bowl of ramen. It was better to let Kiba think he had won this round.

“Ah, first love,” Kiba sighed dreamily as he sat back down on his stool, “I can’t wait to see it all play out.”

[wangxiandecoded]

Episode 12

Previous Episode | Next Episode

(Spoilers for the whole show ahead!)

Even when Wen Chao asks for their swords, Wei Ying is trying desperately to make Lan Zhan look him in the eye to telepathically understand what his soulmate is feeling. Lan Zhan hates it but he has no choice but to cooperate with the enemy. He has withdrawn to himself after the multiple losses he’s faced and being a puppet at the hands of the Wens must be rattling him some more. Even if he wanted to tell Wei Ying everything that’s on his mind, he wouldn’t have been able to find the words to. 

Lucky for him, Wei Ying has an inkling that his Lan Zhan has faced an inexplicable disaster and that’s why he’s behaving this way with him. He knows it doesn’t mean he should stop reaching out. His concern for him leads him to repeatedly seek Lan Zhan’s face, looking for anything that might suggest how he can alleviate his plight.

One of the perks of having Wei Wuxian as your boyfriend is that he was born ready to make a clown out of the most dastardly villains.

Wei Ying Says “Fuck You” In The Name Of Love

Wei Ying has a brilliant idea to talk to Lan Zhan or at least let him know he is not alone.

There is something powerfully impressive and quietly romantic about Wei Ying insulting the Wen clan by reciting the Lan clan’s rules to Wen Chao’s face, on the heels of the former decimating and annexing the latter. Of course Wei Ying is the first one in a room to stand up to a bully and protect the others but Wei Ying knows Lan Zhan’s hands are tied right now, even if he doesn’t know what exactly happened. But that’s okay, because Wei Ying will defend his honor and become Lan Zhan’s hands, his mouth, his everything that delivers the unmistakable “fuck you” on behalf of his family. And he does it in an act of rebellion that originates in the sanctum of love. Understandably, Lan Zhan falls more in love with him.

Wei Ying’s Plan Misfires 

His happiness is short-lived, but honestly who could predict his plan would go like this?

We see that Lan Zhan does want to confide in his soulmate the pain and pressure he’s been dealing with alone the whole time, but it’s too dangerous for them to talk right now. 

Wen Chao carries the same kind of smugness as a prick who’s been waiting to out a gay couple. I mean how awful do you have to be to physically abuse Wangxian for.. being Wangxian? Blatant homophobia right there.

Wei Ying has had enough of Wen Chao’s bullshit and is unafraid to clap back with his signature cheekiness.

When Wei Ying is captured, Lan Zhan blocks the whip coming his way and ends up taking a hit to his injured leg. Wei Ying then wants Wen Chao to come for him instead of Lan Zhan, and we can honestly expect nothing less from Wangxian at this point.

Lan Zhan conquers his silent grieving and mute seething to stand in defiance against Wen Chao. It is worth mentioning that his patience and tolerance can even bear the brunt of a fallen world, but cease to exist the second someone mistreats Wei Ying before his eyes. You know what they say about love being a vicious motivator. His protective stance here screams..

Lan Zhan Holds On To Wei Ying For A Short Span Of Eternity

Wen Chao sure is very curious about the nature of their relationship and unable to fathom what Wei Ying could possibly want with Lan Zhan. He’s already safe and sound with him in Qishan, so if they’re not talking about the Yin Iron, what the hell is it? This inquisition is a bit ridiculous, as if the writer specifically gave him these lines to point out to the audience that Wangxian are being soulmates in love once again.

What Lan Zhan does not say, he makes up for with the million times he reaches for Wei Ying instinctively; spontaneous skinship is one of the ways through which his love for Wei Ying finds expression. It is phenomenal that He Who Does Not Touch People firmly holds on to his lover through this whole monologue that follows.

There are few things in the world that can inspire Lan Zhan’s wrath and protection right now, and Wei Ying commands both so effortlessly. Defeated as he is, for Wei Ying, Lan Zhan is always a man of action. And this action particularly proves his willingness to send packing to hell whoever dares to come close to his lover. I wonder what would’ve happened if Wei Ying hadn’t gone to the dungeon on his own volition.

Wangxian Are Once Again Ready To Risk It All For Each Other

It would’ve been nice to see them get their alone time, but what’s one more complication on the path of true love, right?

If you thought about it, Wangxian’s universe truly conspires to bring them together sometimes. Wen Ning tells Wei Ying everything Lan Zhan wasn’t able to, and Wen Qing does everything in her power to ensure they’re both out of harm’s way. Even when our heroes aren’t able to spend time together, they are being assisted by outside forces that work to ensure their love has a future. There are always people left in the world who are rooting for Wangxian because they’re the good gays guys! 

We are well aware of how deeply and madly Wei Ying loves Lan Zhan, but it is startling all the same that even when he is in physical agony, what infuriates him to the point of madness is the news of Lan Zhan being hurt and his home being burnt down. Wei Ying is also more than willing to endure his pain a while longer if it means Lan Zhan has a shot at getting better.

Wangxian at any given point of time are ready to sacrifice themselves for the other and wage a war against the entire world for wronging the love of their life. That’s what makes these soulmates more unique than most, if not all lovers in fiction. Throughout the story, their romance is subjected to a billion tests and every choice they make is bound to make the viewers cry and highlight the unfairness of the impossible stakes they go through to be with each other. This is no ordinary romance, and that’s why it is all the more fantastic they are able to survive these unthinkable odds and come out shining in the end.

Lan Zhan’s concern and affection for Wei Ying is so open that it bleeds all over our screens. It’s like he looks at the rest of the world with aloof objectivity but the minute his lover comes into his sight, his eyes can bloom only warmth and emotion. Even the vision that touches Wei Ying from afar should be gentle and reverent, fit for holding in sight something precious beyond measure. This can be said about the both of them.

It is when NHS mentions their halcyon days at Cloud Recesses that we realize how their lives have changed irreversibly. Both Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are visibly sadder, like they’re wishing to return to simpler times when courting Lan Zhan was the biggest problem in Wei Ying’s life and fighting his feelings for Wei Ying was Lan Zhan’s. They’ve grown closer since then but the impediments on their road have also grown bigger.

Wei Ying Asks Jiang Cheng To Stay Out Of His Love Life

Lan Zhan keeps walking like #conceal don’t feel but the sad version of WuJi reveals all.

Wei Ying has been growing tired of Jiang Cheng trying to dictate what he should and should not feel or do about things that do not concern him and he rightfully puts him in his place in this scene. Jiang Cheng tells Wei Ying to not choose “someone else” as “we” already have a lot to deal with. He implies Wei Ying shouldn’t help Lan Zhan because he isn’t family and is clearly underplaying his injury despite Wei Ying emphasising its urgency. And Wei Ying is so done with putting up with that kind of negative energy in his love life.

He is quick to silence anyone who thinks they can hold him back from his heart or overstep the boundaries of his relationship with Lan Zhan. And his logic is very sound, for who on earth is capable of stopping Wei Ying from helping him? Not even Lan Zhan! 

Wei Ying breaks free of Jiang Cheng's grip and leaves in Lan Zhan's direction after patronizingly patting his arm. And that is his answer. To him, Lan Zhan isn’t just another person and there is certainly no choice he has to make when it comes to him. It will always be Lan Zhan who is his foremost priority and the rest of the world has to simply get used to being left behind.

We see that he knows Lan Zhan would never ask for help but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t need it. His soulmate will hence always offer it, and if rejected, simply throw him on his back and continue while Lan Zhan informs him once again of how “boring” it is. He doesn’t get to do that, but his sentiment is romantic enough to stay in Lan Zhan’s memory for sixteen years and become an action he boldly reciprocates when Wei Ying comes back.

Wangxian’s Love Story is Truly “Epic”

Episodes 11 and 12 trace the beginnings of the turmoil that will forge Wangxian’s path (and make us weep). Every romance starts from the idyllic state of undisturbed happiness but it seldom remains there through the whole story. And let’s be honest, calamities bring emotional depth and complexity to a plot, exposing that our favorite characters are human, flawed and a lot closer to reality than we imagined. Both the heroes stay loyal to their core values, with the conviction to be fearless in the face of unforeseen adversities in life and love.

And we hope like the hopeless romantics who are in love with the greatest love story ever told, that maybe all the tragedies that are about to befall Wei Ying and Lan Zhan won’t matter one day because their happy ending will heal all wounds. Obstacles will continue to strew our heroes apart and push them towards the other on a loop, but Wangxian are like magnets destined to snap back together. They will ascend beyond the stratosphere of romance, straight to the heavens, because their love’s greatest virtue is that they have each other and know each other more than any two people ever did in all of history. They are devoted to the other unconditionally in soul, mind and body. 

It’s just that our idiot-soulmates take the long way round to realize that their own joint force is capable of annihilating and birthing entire universes, and nothing that ever dared to stand on their path ever stood a chance. And when they do realize that their love is an infinite, impossible force that can bend the laws of nature and be a harbinger of greatness to a world that is doomed to fail, their story is exalted to an epic that doubles as a romance, effectively displacing all the bland, straight examples of love that have infiltrated our past and perpetuated heteronormativity. Because it boasts a love that all of humankind should vie to fashion their lives after and is a true sight to behold - a sight we will rewatch for as long as we live, and bequeath to posterity so they can grow up looking up to Wangxian. Because their love story is the big budget live action fantasy that queer people have been deprived of for so long and is now here to tell us : You should dare to love because it will become your greatest strength. Just like it became Wei Ying and Lan Zhan’s.

[ae-unsympathetic]

NSFW BNHA

Pairing: Midoriya x reader (aged up)

Summary: Midoriya is jealous and horny.

...

Midoriya popped his head into the kitchen where you were leaning over the counter, absent mindedly scrolling away on your phone.

You had recently become obsessed with very interested in a particular pro hero who was new on the hero scene. From his costume to his quirk, pro hero Gizmo had really caught his eye. It had started last week when he had incidentally been the hero to come to your aid when some low level villain had tried to rob you on your way home late at night. Since then, despite your best efforts, you hadn't been able to get that guy out of your head. Though one could say that your boyfriend, pro hero Deku, was suffering for it the most.

You were scrolling through a number of Gizmo fan pages on instagram when you felt Midoriya's arms snake around your waist.

"Hey hun," You mumbled half heartedly.

"Hey y/n, what're you looking at?"

"Just insta," You sighed, but Midoriya's own, melancholic sigh drowned out yours.

He buried his face into your shoulder, "Again with this Gizmo guy?" He moaned.

"I'm just looking."

"At fan pages!"

"Yeah I'm a fan, what of it?" You doubled tapped to like someone's fan art and took a quick screenshot too, "Don't worry, I'm still your biggest fan, Deku."

"I know, I know..."

"Then stop pestering me."

The word pestering made Midoriya's skin crawl. He propped his head on your shoulder, purposely digging his chin into your bone and aggressively bucking his hips into you.

"Ow, Izuku!"

"It's not pestering if I'm concerned about you!"

"Oh I see, when you obsessively study a hero it's cute and endearing but when I do it, it's a cause for concern?"

As you continued scrolling on your phone, you happened upon some erotic nsfw fan art that made you choke for a second. Midoriya didn't like that at all.

"Is that what you want Gizmo to do to you, y/n?" Midoriya asked in a low, almost threatening, voice, intimidatingly close to your ear. He slowly began humping your backside and it made you shiver a little.

"N-n-no, don't be silly," You huffed, quickly scrolling away from it.

Midoriya's arms around your waist tightened, "Why did you stutter, y/n?"

You began to sweat, "Genuinely, Izuku, there's nothing to be concerned abou-"

"Don't bother," Midoriya nuzzled his face back into your shoulder and began humping you a little faster, "Keep looking at that fan art, since you like that guy so much."

"Don't be like th-" But before you knew it, he had you pressed flat on the counter. One hand wormed its way down your pants as he humped you furiously. The feeling of his cock hardening against you made you grin a little. His fingers found your opening and played around down there as you continued to scroll through your phone.

"Your fingers are cold, Izuku," You mumbled, unable to help yourself from moving in time with his humping and fingering.

His other hand found your nipple and pulled it, "Then warm them up in that delicious little pussy of yours."

You giggled, barely noticing that you had stopped holding your phone. You managed to pull down your pants a few inches, so Midoriya could slide his penis inbetween your cheeks through his boxers. He grunted at the softer sensation.

"Izuku," You breathed, as your boyfriend rutted against you quicker and harder, but the sound of his name escaping your stubborn lips was too much for him to handle. Giving your nipple one last squeeze, cum quickly dampened both of your underwear and some parts of your thigh. He sighed and let go of you.

You turned to face him, beginning to peel off the rest of your clothes but he stretched and put on the kettle.

"Um, aren't we-"

"Nah, I don't feel like it anymore," Midoriya said, sounding as sweet and kind as always, "Do you want tea?"

Your heart was pounding, Midoriya had finished but you were just getting started. "No, I want you inside me."

He laughed dismissively, "I think you mean you want Gizmo inside you."

"I never knew you were so much of a tease," You grumbled with narrow eyes, trying to act nonchalant, "But fine, it's whatever."

You continued with your phone, still half dressed should Midoriya return for round two. But, truly, it seemed that your boyfriend was over it. He sat at the table, sipping tea and scrolling through his own phone. You only lasted about 5 minutes before you had to leave the room. You were so annoyed. How could Midoriya get away with making you all hot and bothered like that? Ridiculous.

You wandered into the bedroom and shut the door quietly. If you'd slammed it, he'd know how frustrated you were. If he didn't realise where you'd gone, perhaps he'd come to look for you. You kicked off your underwear, ready to finger yourself to pass the time.

You laid on the bed on your back, phone in hand, glaring at some more nsfw fan art of Gizmo. As cool as you thought he was, it wasn't like you'd really go for him over your darling Izuku. Frankly, nobody could beat your adorable, slyly possessive boyfriend, even if they tried. Maybe I need to chill with all this Gizmo stuff, you thought. You couldn't even be bothered to touch yourself anymore.

As if on cue, Midoriya's head popped around the bedroom door. "Babe?"

You gave him an unimpressed glance, before rolling over to turn your back to him and continuing on your phone.

Midoriya caught a glimpse of what you were looking at over your shoulder and, with barely any hesitation, he stormed over and clambered onto the bed by your feet.

"You really want Gizmo inside you that much, huh, y/n?" He said through gritted teeth, as he took your knees and pulled them away from each other.

"Izuku!" You yelped, but he'd already put you on your back and planted his face between your thighs before you could complain, "Let's talk first-"

His tongue was already at work, dancing around your clit. You dropped your phone and grabbed his head, "Hun, you're not lis-"

But his tongue sipped over a sweet spot which stopped you in your tracks. Your mouth was left hanging slightly as Midoriya incorporated his lips into his work. Your eyelids fluttered as you ran your fingers through his hair.

He suddenly looked up, "Where's your phone? I want you to keep looking at Gizmo."

"You don't need to be sarcastic anymore," You snapped with a pout, "I get that you were jealous and I'm sorry. I don't care about that guy anymore."

Midoriya pouted at you from where he lay between your thighs, "But he's-"

"No. I want you inside me," You whined needily, "Izuku, please."

He couldn't say no to you anymore. The sound of his name in your voice slowly resurrected his boner. He got up on his knees, "Call me by my hero name."

You grinned, opening your arms wide, "Come here, Deku."

With that, he kicked off his boxers and positioned himself between your legs. It wasn't long before he he was pounding into you, arms either side of your head, staring into your eyes as if you would disappear if he blinked. His thrusts were deep and almost rhythmic, but his grunts were desperate and all over the place. You weren't any better. You threw your arms around his neck, loving the sound of his balls slapping against you. You could feel the blood and excitement pulsing through his veiny dick. You couldn't believe how in love you were with this jealous little man towering over you. You began to tear up at the speed and force Midoriya was using to fuck you senseless, "Deku, I love you so much, Deku."

"I love, uh, uhhh, I love you too, hahh, uhh, y/n. Sorry, I'm abou- uugh, nh, - about tah, gyyynuughhh."

Needless to say, you had no reason to talk about Gizmo after that.

[crossdressingdeath]

I think that the reason of why we don't quite undestand JC is bc we are not used to read villains like him. In general the hero makes it clear that they hate or have not sympathy for the villain and we have that, from the pov of wwx we know who are the bad guys and he doesn't like them, he really hates WC and with XY he said thag he had to die but with JC is little more subtle, mainly bc wwx still cares about him and yes he try to kill wwx but the protagonist make it sound like a minor issue, its easier to justify his actions like yes he was sad bc he lost his parents and wwx and his sister and he only kill bad people instead of understanding that he is not a nice person, talking about YA is not hard to find this character than is not evil just misunderstood and needs love and sometimes is the love interest of the protagonist and the end of the day he was a good guy I think that's what the fandom try to make JC but in this case he ends being bad guy just not the typical one I mean the stereotypical villain that wants to conquer the world but he wants to be the best and abuse his power and try to kill wwx. What I'm trying to said is that maybe everyone would know that JC is the bad guy if wwx said so or the cultivation world but wwx is just tired of JC and the cultivation world knows he is the sect leader that no one likes but not an threat as jgy.

But that’s not actually the case? I mean, I've just been talking about Outlast: Whistleblower and how Waylon explicitly feels pity towards and even empathizes with people who want to murder, rape, mutilate and/or eat him (in varying configurations) because he knows they’ve suffered, and that’s far from the only example out there. The thing people often fail to grasp is that there’s a difference between a villain you (and/or the protagonist) pity or even sympathize with and one you’re supposed to see as in the right and not really a villain at all. Hell, villains who started out (either in-story or some time prior to its beginning) as the hero’s friend and then turned to evil are incredibly common to the point of being a trope, and despite how YA generally seems to go that... doesn’t always end with them being redeemed or turning out to have never been evil at all. Stormlight Archives comes to mind, although I won’t go into detail Because Spoilers. It doesn’t mean the hero stops caring about their former friend or even necessarily that that former friend no longer cares about the hero, but that care doesn’t make the villain less... villainous.

I think it’s another one of those things with people assuming MDZS is YA because it’s gay fantasy written by a woman so of course it’s YA (no I will never be over how often that happens), because... yeah, ‘sympathetic “antagonists” who the hero genuinely likes will never turn out to be a real villain’ is way more of a thing in YA than it is in adult fiction. Same with the stereotypical villain; you’d be surprised by how often the main villain of a story is a personal threat to the protagonist(s), rather than a universal one. Back to Outlast, the danger is very much localized and you’re not trying to stop the antagonists you face; you’re just trying to get away from them. The fact that a lot of them die in the process is incidental and the player character probably wouldn’t have cared all that much (beyond having to deal with the chance of them showing up again) if they hadn’t. In Les Mis the world isn’t conquered when Les Amis fail, and wouldn’t have ended if Javert caught Valjean. Fantasy is more given to world-ending or world-conquering threats, but in media as a whole it’s not really the norm. Hell, in MDZS the only world-conquering threat is the Wens, who... if you think about it, as characters aren’t really in the novel. They’re flashback villains who only really show up in person once or twice. The biggest villain in MDZS is JGY, who’s already in command of the sects and... actually doing a very good job of it, he’s a good ruler and only a villain in the story because NHS dragged WWX into his revenge plot. This isn’t a story about stopping someone from taking over the world, so why would that be a secondary antagonist’s position? JC actually reads very much like your standard secondary antagonist; he will for sure kill our hero if he manages to capture him, and he does manage to get at WWX now and then, but overall he’s very much a manageable threat. To put it another way, he’s the active threat to JGY’s puppet master, like SS or XY. He’s a threat and he’s keeping the tension high... but WWX removing him from the board wouldn’t actually stop the plot, just change a few details of it.

Basically, JC... very much is a typical villain for the type of villain he is. It’s just that villains aren’t always big, overwhelming, world-ending threats. People seem to forget that someone only being a threat to the hero doesn’t make them not a villain.

[neverdoingmuch]

I just really love Two Person Love Triangles and Identity Porn. So, maybe a You've Got Mail AU? Or a superhero AU when one of them falls for both the masked hero and the secret identity?

because i love both of these aus i’ve written both!! but they’re pretty long bc i wouldn’t be me if i didn’t plot out an entire fic so the superhero au is here. 

as for the you’ve got mail au, i went off and watched the movie for the first time and i am delighted by your taste anon,,, the au works so well!! 

(okay for some reason tumblr won’t let me indent my bullets so idk how to fix that so big rip)

so we have lan & sons books, a company that prides itself on providing cheap books for everyone to read. think less evil corporation and more we wanted to provide easily accessible books for all people and ended up getting really rich off it

mr lan dadman was meant to be in charge but he ran off and lqr stepped up until lxc was old enough to take over and now lqr just kinda assists lxc when he needs help and does some other work

lqr is definitely the old guy who had a letter thing with this one woman who was enchanting but instead he was chatting to cssr and she was shameless 

anyway lwj works as *random high up job that joe fox has* and his best work friend (and real friend) is jin zixuan

jin zixuan is the heir to some coffee franchise and the two families have a deal which is why you have the cafe inside the bookstores

we gonna give lwj some friends

as for wwx, his mother owned a bookstore, the burial mounds (why did she name it that?? idk she probably told bssr that she wanted to call it that as a joke and bssr tried to call her bluff so she ended up having to call it that a la suibian)

anyway he grew up with his mother and grandmother and they left the store to him (idk what happened to them?? maybe they just retired and are now travelling the world while wwx gets to have the bookstore)

now for the actual plot!!

lwj and wwx met on omegle an instant messaging site and now exchange emails. wwx goes by yiling patriarch and lwj goes by hanguang-jun bc we want that flavour

so they’ve been emailing for years and they never share any personal information - wwx knows that hgj has a pet rabbit but not hgj’s name or his job

as for the significant others?? idk let’s pretend they don’t exist. 

wwx’s best friend nhs, who writes a column for so-and-so, always just comes over to his place and now he’s semi moved in and wwx isnt really sure why he’s here but he is. 

lwj just vibes bc i can’t see him putting up with a patricia unless his uncle  forced him to. even then he’d probably just be ~mysteriously~ gone while she’s home

maybe he has a really annoying pa who thinks its his job to come over and like make him breakfast. it’s su she,, it has to be

so wwx goes into work one morning and wen ning is waiting outside as he always is, ready for him to open and then like ten minutes later wen qing comes in and lastly granny wen comes in

why do they work together?? idk?? granny wen and bssr were close and so the wens and wwx kinda grew up as siblings? yeah i like that let’s go with that

so when cssr decided to go travelling wwx gets left with her store and he kinda knows how to run it but also he doesn’t have enough staff so he ends up hiring the wens (except granny who’s mostly there just to hang out with her family)

bonus: a-yuan always come to the shop after school and wwx gets to recreate the childhood he had with his mother with a-yuan. when the store closes wwx and a-yuan just twirl and twirl until they get too dizzy to stand up and then they lay on the floor and discuss their favourite book they’ve read this week. it’s very sweet

okay so the next day lwj gets to babysit his cousin/uncle/nephew/idk-how-they’re-related-person lan jingyi who is like eight or something?

they go out and hang at a festival and lwj does not buy him a goldfish bc i was very stressed by the way they treated the goldfish in the movie but he does get him balloons and a stuffed toy and plays all the games with him

eventually they’re walking back and see that the small bookstore near the new lan bookstore is hosting a story time so they go inside 

lwj walks in and he’s immediately taken by the atmosphere of the store bc that place was absolutely beautiful and then he hears this voice and follows it around to the back of the store to see the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen in his life sitting on a kinda too small chair with a princess hat? cone? thing on top of his head

he’d planned to stay for like one story and then take jingyi home but he ends up staying for the entire book and it’s definitely not because the guy reading the book smiled at him once or twice

after the story time ends, lwj is reluctant to leave so he ends up letting jingyi pick a bunch of books and looks at a few fancy first edition books with wen qing

and maybe his mother used to love collecting books - the old ones with the yellowed pages and beautiful pictures - and that’s why lwj helps out with his family business,, bc he wants everyone to be able to have books like that (never mind that all their books are like mass produced and lack any sentimentality & the staff dont actually care about the books)

anyway he sees wwx help jingyi pick out books and lets him borrow his handkerchief when he sneezes and lwj’s like oh nooo he’s good with kids too so now he has to talk to him 

so he goes up to buy the books and wwx’s telling jingyi about how much he likes daisies and lwj just blurts out “can i ask what your name is?” and wwx blinks but then smiles and is like i’m wei wuxian, but you can call me wei ying, and i own this store. what about you? and lwj is like wangji, you can call me wangji

wen qing takes one look at lwj and the way he’s staring at wwx and goes you’re going to come back aren’t you and lwj is trying so hard not to just run away so he just ignores her but then she mentions something about lan books and he’s Panicking and jingyi almost says that he’s a lan and lwj just kinda guides him over to a table and then goes back to flirt talk with wwx

anyway wwx ends up going on this big tangent about books and what they mean to people and the whole when you read a book as a child it becomes a part of your identity and who you’re going to become the way nothing else does (and lwj remembers his mother and her books) and then he apologises for going on and lwj is mentally going marry me, but he ends up calling wwx and his mother shameless

but it’s okay!! wwx & cssr are proud of it!

and then yada yada lwj buys the kinda expensive books and ends up awkwardly shepherding jingyi out of the store 

cut to the next day when the lan book store opens properly and lwj ends up telling lqr about how he met wwx and lqr is like >:/ the son of that shameless woman,, how terrible,, it’s okay he won’t be a problem for long bc they’ll be driven out of business. which isn’t the response lwj wanted but lxc seems supportive enough if a bit concerned about how it would work with them as business enemies 

business is already bad for wwx and it’s barely been a week since the lan store opened and he’s pretty bummed out but hopeful that maybe it’s a fluke

then nhs invites him to some fancy dinner with him bc wei-xiong they’re all so boring and smart and have opinions, please don’t make me have opinions so wwx gets dragged along

he ends up talking to lwj at the bar bc how could he not talk to the man who’s standing in front of all that fancy alcohol and getting some fruit juice. (he’d get water but lwj has had to put up with su she all evening so he needs something stronger)

anyway they chat and it’s pleasant but then after wwx gets approached by someone who’s like wow im surprised you’re talking to lan wangji and wwx is like lan?!

cue their passive aggressive argument around the food table complete with caviar and a turkey knife. 

now bc it’s lan wangji,, instead of making scathing comebacks he just makes like factual and to-the-point statements that end up being really bitchy (or does he intend them to be that way? it’s a mix of both of them tbh but in this case he’s definitely being bitchy on purpose) and wwx is spluttering bc that boy does not stand up well against hot and mad people

nhs ends up coming over and defusing the situation but wwx makes a point of stealing the rest of the caviar off lwj’s plate before leaving 

lwj ends up ducking out early as well to avoid su she and emails wwx that night at like 9:45 bc the guilt of being so rude kept him up late and yllz is like oh no that’s so sad ): but impressive! i wish i could zing people,, my brain just turns off the second i need to make a comeback

creative liberties,, wwx is good at teasing but not being genuinely mean? lets go with that

anyway now we get the delightful montage of wwx hiding behind cheese displays and lwj walking out of coffee stores with a newspaper covering his face as they try to avoid each other

when wwx gets in the wrong line at the supermarket lwj comes over and kinda glares the checkout woman into submission and gets her to let wwx use his card which wwx is really conflicted about bc why would he help me?? and once again angry lwj = hot lwj

a few weeks later wwx ends up asking hgj for help bc business isn’t getting any better but refuses to give any details and i refuse to have lwj watch the godfather so lwj just straight up messages him and is like tear that bitch apart

and so wwx decides to tear that bitch apart and asks nhs for help. nhs, fan of the arts and small businesses and local culture, is 100% down for it and writes a scathing article about lan books and how they’re destroying all the aforementioned things nhs cares about

it ends up getting a lot of traction and people show up to protest and wwx even goes on television

lwj ends up seeing the news coverage on the matter while he’s at the gym with jzx

jzx is 100% the guy who goes to the gym just to apathetically walk on the treadmill while lwj jogs

he sees the interview with wwx and lwj is like he’s not this nice in real life and jzx is like you met him?? and lwj is like mn. then jzx is like i bet he’s not as hot and lwj is completely silent but his ears are bright red and that’s how jzx knows that wwx is just that hot

also?? lwj goes on tv and says like three words and he’s kinda annoyed how the news decided to spin that but he also said like three words so what did he expect?

but, despite all the publicity, sales don’t get any better so wwx is like fine can we meet in person and lwj is like sure

he brings jzx along bc he doesn’t know the way there, it’s not because he’s nervous and kind of in love with yllz, it’s because he doesn’t know how to get to the cafe. (it’s two blocks from his apartment)

anyway jzx is like oof man it’s seems like yllz is wwx but he is that hot so not all is lost and lwj is like yikes no not happening im not going in but he also feels bad about standing wwx up so he ends up going in and sitting down in front of wwx

and lwj is like wei wuxian, all this publicity will do nothing to save your business and wwx is like lan wangji who do you think you are (or however that scene goes) but instead of lwj being asked to leave wwx decides he’s not gonna chicken out first so they end up spending like two hours having the most aggressive cup of coffee and chat he’s ever had

lwj is exhausted but he also refuses to give up

but then wwx spits something about how lwj is some cold, heartless suit who doesn’t actually care about or appreciate books so how can he possibly dare to think that he’s better than wwx and that hurts bc lwj had thought that he’d been doing exactly that so he leaves

anyway the next morning wwx is moping around the bookstore bc he didn’t get stood up, he swears. am i not cute enough he moans to wen qing and she’s like your hgj doesn’t know what you look like. but what about my personality? is that cute enough? and wen qing eventually manages to grit out that yes it is cute enough

wen ning comes in and is like are you okay? you got stood up? that’s good! your date might have been the rooftop killer xue yang! he got caught last night! and wwx is like i wish, i just got stood up like a chump

so they ignore each other for a few weeks bc wwx is very hurt and lwj doesn’t know what he’s going to say but wwx ends up caving and emails hgj about how guilty he feels and how even though wwx probably means nothing to lwj, he’s worried that maybe he did hurt lwj and also please hgj i still want to talk to you

now hgj never says a lot, he’s always really succinct and direct but this time he takes the time to write a proper apology. it’s not an explanation bc he doesn’t want to give this up, even if the yllz he thinks he loves is the wwx that he hates, but it is an apology

the next day wwx goes to lunch with granny wen and finally dares to ask her whether it would be okay to shut the store down. he doesn’t want, of course he doesn’t want to, but he doesn’t think he can afford to keep it open. granny just tells him that it’s okay and that if the time has come, the time has come

we don’t have to worry about wwx breaking up with anyone, so he just goes home and asks nhs if he can have some space and nhs quickly packs his stuff and goes home. as he stands in the doorway with his last box of stuff he tells wwx that he’s sorry and wishes he could help more and wwx sends him this tremulous smile but manages to hold it together until nhs leaves and then he cries and cries 

the next day he goes back to work and tries to stay bubbly and cheery even as he sees all of his shelves slowly being emptied and people who haven’t stepped foot in his store in six months are telling him what a shame it is and how they wish it didnt have to come to this and wwx is internally screaming

he manages to stave off any actual screaming but when he closes up that day he ends up going to the children’s section of lan bookstore and just as he had thought, none of the staff care about the books, none of them know any books and he ends up recommending a series to some young mother

lwj, who’d spotted wwx and come over to see if whether he was here to pick a fight, comes to the awful realisation that maybe wwx is right about his store lacking heart

he goes home that night and su she tags along even though lwj just wants space and the elevator breaks. he’s sitting there on the ground listening to his neighbour talk about reconnecting with family and the elevator button pressing dude talks about getting engaged and su she is just there whining about his job and the inconvenience and lwj goes fuck this. when the elevator starts working again he grabs his rabbit and goes back down to the ground floor, ignores su she’s shouts, and goes back to his childhood home

wwx gets stuck closing his store down. he looks around at the shelves and tables he’d grown up with and sees his childhood and a-yuan’s and countless moments he’s had with people he’s loved and realises he’s going to lose it all forever. he grabs the bell, the last thing he has left of the store and closes up for the very last time

in the meantime, lwj is living the high life. he hangs out with his bunny, gets to read pride and prejudice for fun and actually manages to get all the way through it and then his brother comes to visit

apparently he’d broken up with jgy bc he was gold digger-esque and had decided to run off with someone richer and lwj is like oh thats so sad ): anyway nmj is right there and he fills your heart with joy and lxc is like have you ever had someone like that? and lwj immediately thinks of wwx and is like fuck

his first order of business is to buy wwx’s shop bc it broke my heart that she didn’t get it back in the og movie and he starts filling it with books again. he buys ten copies of his mother’s favourite books and places them on the shelf by the door and then he sees a book that reminds him of jingyi so gets some of them and he sees a book covered in daisies and thinks of wwx. and slowly, slowly he’s building up his own library, his own store, and this time every single book means something and for once lwj looks out across the floor with pride and satisfaction

his second order of business is to apologise to wwx for being a dick. he buys some daisies and goes to his place and comes in and cooks soup for wwx. lwj apologises and tells him it wasn’t personal and wwx is like that’s not true, it was personal to me and it’s personal to a lot of people and lwj understands that now. he remembers the way he’d filled wwx’s store and left his own touch and bared his heart through each of those books and he understands. he doesn’t actually say this and just tells wwx that he wants to be friends 

lwj considers coming clean about being hgj but he knows now that he definitely loves wwx and knows that wwx currently hates him but damn is it hard not to say anything when wwx is telling him how much he loves hgj

anyway he’s like organise a meeting again with hgj 

i’d say it’s ooc for lwj not to come clean but this is the man who pined for x decades and just didnt tell wwx that his son was alive so like not ooc at all

so lwj decides he’s going to woo wwx as best as he can and organises to meet up with yllz and then goes and meets with wwx and they end up going to hang out and for some strange reason, even though wwx keeps getting stood up, he doesn’t seem to care too much. he keeps agreeing to meet hgj and when he doesn’t show is more than happy to spend the rest of his day with lwj

and slowly, they start to get closer. wwx takes a sip of lwj’s coffee and lwj buys him daisies. wwx brings him an interesting book and lwj tells him about his mother. they chat freely about hgj and lwj is happy for the first time in a long time

eventually lwj organises the final meeting. wwx is really confused about the place he picked but he’s hopeful that maybe this time hgj will show. after wwx and lwj’s farmers market date ends, lwj ends up asking wwx if he could love lwj and wwx is like you put me in such an uncomfortable situation. ie stammering and blushing and eventually going oh no ill be late and running off

anyway a couple hours later wwx finds himself standing outside his old bookstore and he refuses to look at it bc he doesn’t want to see what it’s become but then, through the open door of the store, a bunny hops out and over to wwx

lwj comes running out after it calling out its name (bichen?? flopsy?? rabbit?? one of them) and wwx looks up and is like oh,, it’s you, i’d hoped it was you and he’s all teary and lwj has a handkerchief that he’d embroidered himself (with gentians of course) and he’s like dont cry yllz and then they kiss and it’s beautiful

bonus: lwj takes wwx inside the store and shows him everything and explains the meaning behind every book that they’ve picked and then wwx does cry for real bc there is definitely an entire two walls dedicated just to wwx

do they open the store as a bookstore again and work together? does wwx end up writing books?? idk up to you. i like the idea that they open the store for story time and sell children’s books but lwj still works with lan & sons to get some heart in their stores and wwx works on his own books in his spare time

[thessalian]

Thess vs Deportation

Oh, yeah, another rant I have to have, and another source of stress:

There’s an emergency healthcare provider named Kim Stewart. She’s from Canada, but she’s been working with the NHS in Middlesborough for about a year, providing care for COVID patients and handling logistics for her area’s vaccination programme.

And apparently her work visa will not be renewed because “she classes as a support worker and those are not on the ‘vital workers’ visa list”. Something about “British doctors for British people” too.

Had I much in the way of money right now, I’d be running a pool on how long it’s going to take for Indefinite Leave to Remain visas to become conditional of something or other and how long before I’m staring down the barrel of deportation becuase I don’t want to be a UK citizen.

Honestly, I’d probably half-welcome deportation at this point but it’s still fucking scary. I mean, we’re short on healthcare workers. We were getting a lot of our healthcare staff from Europe, and now that they need work visas, we lost a lot of healthcare support because of Brexit. You’d think we’d want to keep what we have, but nope. Nope, even members of the fucking Commonwealth aren’t safe from “You’re taking jobs meant for BRITISH PEOPLE!!!” and get booted as soon as humanly possible. And never mind if there aren’t enough people well enough trained to be proper support workers.

Is anyone talking about the fact that healthcare support workers aren’t being seen as ‘vital’ enough to get decent pay or even get their work visas renewed when we were socially obligated to applaud for them every Thursday during the worst of the pandemic lockdown and the bods in government were talking about the “heroes” and everything? I mean, they are heroes! But like most heroes in the world as it is, they’re being treated appallingly by the people who got so performative about their praise of said heroism.

And, again, I have to wonder what they’ll do next, if they’ll invalidate my ability to stay here. This government is an absolute mess, is getting worse than the Trump administration ever was, and currently no one’s talking about any of the mess because they’re too busy flailing about the rather married Secretary of State for Health snogging one of his aides, and him only apologising for ‘breaching social distancing rules’ and still getting exonerated by this shit-show of a government.

Pondering the merits of screaming, punching a wall or just being a duvet burrito for awhile.

[foreveralonewithmystupidthoughts]

Why do I always feel like people get sick of me?

Every time I make a new friend or talk to an old friend, just feels like they get bored of me or sick of me being around constantly.

I always get this feeling in my chest that people just don’t want me around anymore. Not even my own family.

Maybe I’m just meant to be all alone. Maybe this is what God had planned for me from the start. I don’t know. I just know that it’s true.

People read my messages and don’t reply, some don’t reply at all, others reply in 3 weeks. Or they don’t talk to me at all anymore. They’ll have phases where they will message me constantly for weeks, then they’ll just stop.

I just feel alone in this world. I shouldn’t have made friends at all. I should have just stayed alone and played alone and hung out by myself. Least I wouldn’t know what rejection feels like, least I wouldn’t feel like this 24/7.

All I’ve ever wanted was to feel loved, but it’s never going to happen. I’m clearly unlovable and not liked either.

[cqlfeels]

what do u think happens to post-canon nhs?

I'm really not a good person to ask this to because I spend very little time thinking about post-canon - I'm mostly interested in canon, then pre-canon and only then post-canon, and there are only so many hours of the day I can devote to fandom, so I end up getting around to post-canon musings only very rarely. So take my answer with a grain of salt because it's very half-baked!

I don't... See a happy ending? I know it's a popular headcanon that NHS has been Unleashed™️ and now he's gonna Be Awesome and also Do Things, but I don't know about that.

He's burnt every bridge for a revenge that doesn't seem to have given him the satisfaction he hoped it would. (I think in part because literally no one in the room thought "Hey, JGY is a monster! Thank god someone revealed his misdeeds!" but rather everybody is either sympathetic to JGY or, at best, utterly uninterested in the whole thing. I don't think that's what NHS was hoping for.) So he has no friends, and for all that he's good at keeping secrets, he seems to genuinely enjoy people, so that's not ideal. He can't trust the smart people around him to be truly his friends now that they haven't taken his side (he's a Nie. You're loyal to him or you're not, and he won't ever move on from that.) but if he stops hanging with the absolute geniuses of the jianghu to mingle with, say, members of his sect, he's gonna be bored in five minutes. Even at his laziest, NHS has never shown any interest for people who aren't outstanding. I don't think he'd start now.

In terms of motivation.... Well. He already made his brother proud by taking revenge, didn't he? What's left after that, now that he's shaped his whole identity around NMJ? WWX is a good parallel here - after molding himself as the protector of the Jiang, he became a protector of the Wen, and when both of those things failed, he couldn't find anything to live for (especially in CQL, but I'd argue MDZS WWX was pretty depressed too.) NHS has succeeded rather than failed, but is that much better? He's also at loss, it's just that he seems to feel empty rather than depressed.

And the thing about having no moral compass is that you don't know what direction you wanna go if left alone. Characters like XXC know that even if they lose everything, they wanna help people. Characters like XY know that even if they lose everything, they'll keep lashing out at the world. What does NHS wanna do now that he's lost everything? What does he strongly feel about? Imho, nothing. No matter what he does - if he paints fans and bothers no one, or becomes Chief Cultivator and changes the world, it'll still be nothing more than a half-hearted attempt to pass time until..... until what? I don't think he'd know.

This story is a lot about sacrifices, and I think NHS sacrificed his future for his family. (Twin Heroes, anyone?) I think going in, he knew it was possible that he'd spend the rest of his days miserable and aimless, and he thought it was worth it. I don't think NHS quite escapes the Nie curse? In every way but physically, I think he did die pretty young and now he's mostly waiting for his body to catch up.

So those are my extremely cheerful thoughts lol Anyway, I stand by my belief that in the entire Sunshot generation, wangxian are the only people in this story to get a happy ending, and even that is because they've had two tries. Even if I'm wrong about the specifics, I think just by the story logic, I'll always assume NHS doesn't have a bright future ahead of him.