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everafterkeiji · 3 years ago

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Hi can i request a hcs for itadori,megumi and gojo react to their s/o death?.

Please Feel free to ignore this request if its triggering or u don't feel like writing it! Thank you<3

i love angst requests so it's really okay with me! thank you so much for requesting (ngl i did cry thinking abt yuji) and i hope u have a lovely day even if this was incredibly sad

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇

PAIRINGS: JJK BOYS x gn!reader

CHARACTERS: Itadori Yuji, Megumi Fushiguro, & Gojo Satoru

WORD COUNT: 2.7K

WARNINGS: heavy angst, character death, mentions of blood and panic attacks, as well wounds and bruises. mentions of Shibuya arc/implied location in Shibuya during that arc.

⟡ 𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈 eyes dared to erase the sight ahead of him, his body was frozen—every sense began to fail for its purpose and nothing else was responsive except for the shout of your name that echoes through the battle field, the level of immensity to his voice that covers his throat with pain as every pace towards you was a step leading to a waste of a second that terrifies him the more his being tugged away by his own fears.

Dropping to his knees, he was numb to the sensation of the ache overwhelming his legs while he craddles you in his arms as every part of him shook with uncertainty, his hands didn't have the courage to hold you with as much as strength as he should've.

"..Y/N?" He whispers, a croak to his voice as if it was barely alive with droplets created from his sorrow began to trail down your cheek whilst your blood paints his hand in a hue he never expected to come from you. His mind was in the midst of being empty to a havoc that wanted to deny every rage in his system so he could love you even if he could tell how your chest wasn't rising the way it was supposed to do.

"Love?" Yuji calls out one more time as your eyes flutter subtly, signalling him not even an assurance for your state. His hand falls to your cheek, not caring if he couldn't hold you weakly because what matters more is that you held onto him. He painfully leans his forehead on yours, a loud sob escaping him with a struggle to catch up with his breath.

"Don't let me go, don't ever leave me, I beg of you, God!" He shouts as the gods grow concerned of the boy whose heart was wrecked to every piece as the sky began to cry with him. "Save them— God— Please! Stop taking everyone that I love and let me come with them." He begs, as he pulls you more as if the distance could've helped him better because even when you were close to him, he knew you were already at the farthest place that he couldn't reach. All that could be heard from him were screams where he forfeited ever begging for your life when everyone around seems to follow in your path.

"I'm so sorry, my love." Itadori confesses, arms tight around your figure as every beat of his heart began to die with you when all the seconds that he seemed to waste without you by his side began to haunt him. If he had gotten there sooner, maybe then he could've reminded you one more time that you were the energy—the surviving light in his life for him to exist without being told of his faith.

"I love you—so much so please remember that even when you're away." He couldn't even explain how his words manage to fall in such a manner, he could've sworn a second ago he only wanted to let time freeze so he could deny the view of your lifeless body that he miserably failed to save from the hands of death.

"I promise you, in the end, I'll be with you soon, Y/N." Itadori places a delicate kiss to your forehead, having no courage to leave the contact of your skin to his as his eyes went with the rain that poured over the two of you. He intertwines one of his hands with yours, shivering at the temperature he faces but with the other hand, he rests it on his cheek. Maybe if you looked at him now, you'd want him to smile because if you were the source of his reason to exist, Yuji's smile was the one to let your hearts worries disappear but sadly, the source has been removed from him and nothing else in the world could ever bring the joy in his smile no more.

"All I've ever wanted to do was to love you, so I hope you're willing to wait because when I see you.. I'm gonna embrace you with everything I've got," He then kisses the hand intertwined to his before he achingly pull his hand away and the regret closing on him but he had no other choice.

"And love you again and again, Y/N. Always and.. forever—like what we promised." Yuji, as torturous it was to let you go, he sets your hand that was on his cheek to your chest just like he did with the other before he ends his goodbye with a lasting kiss to your cheek.

"Stop crying, Yuji! C'mon smile for me, will you? I didn't come here to see you all gloomy."

And with the remaining memories left for him, it began to be the weak strings for his heart to compose itself because if he knows one thing that you hated, it was the sight of him crying.

So he smiles, the everlasting wish of yours being granted even if his body was corrupting as the love of his life enters a new realm where forever was possible for the both of you.

"We'll meet again, my love."

As he stood up, he hesitates to turn his back on you but once he does, the sun never looked the same to him ever again.

⟡ 𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈 encounters a feeling that he's been through before—a course of emotions that has his body in a tight hold but now, it seems the hold on him was deadlier than the first time. Your name had left his lips, draining him of his exhaustion to run to you before you could fall, every fiber in his body was holding on to his fear. He didn't need to feel the ache in his legs that were covered in wounds because his mission was for you to perfectly land in his arms even if he had to risk getting more injuries.

His heart began to pace in frantic pace when he catches you, there wasn't a split second of joy that entered him just because he made it in time. Instead, his eyes widen in trauma at the sight of your dull eyes that looked above to the heavens sky.

"Hey—hey!" He shouts, trembling hands feeling every bit of your skin and ends with it down to your cheek. "Talk to me—anything, please!" Megumi pleads as a drop of your blood that came from your forehead started to flow onto his skin. He gulps with his breathing unable to coordinate with him as his head frenetically looks up, any sign of help could've been the better reach but they were just in the mere corner of a building in Shibuya.

"Y/N? Please say something." He whispers, furiously wiping his tears while he despises the warmth of your blood that paints his hands. "C'mon please, let me hear your voice one last time." He sobs on your shoulder, embracing you with every corrupting piece of his heart, looking for a beat from your rather cold ones. His hands go to your hair, caressing it so lightly that he felt it resembled glass from how careful he was. Your head was buried in his neck, eyes barely awake for him to ever find that heartbeat.

"I love you, did you hear me?" Megumi says, gulping in the grief. "Say it back to me like you always did, please?" He doesn't know that begging would've been his lasting choice—maybe someone up above would take some time to listen to his pleads and eventually bring the life to his lovers body once again for you to say you love him back a thousand times more.

"Hug me one more time, will you? You told me you loved to do that." He desperately wishes your arms could just return to the place he loved, wrapped around his neck as his hands were to be on your waist or to your cheek with a smile to your lips. Unfortunately, your arms were covered in their own bruises—latched with dark purple hues and tints of red from the debris of buildings and cursed spirits.

"We have to go, Megumi!" One of the sorcerers shout, he didn't even have the time to decipher who it belonged to but he sniffles, reaching for his phone typing a quick message to the others to be able to take you out of this place with somewhere more deserving of a beauty that has passed.

"I'm not going to say goodbye because I know you'll always be with me, right Y/N?" He takes your hands, placing it on your chest on top of each other as his tear lands on your temple. He softly wipes it away before he kisses your forehead, closing his eyes shut at his misery.

"I wish I could've saved you. I really wish I did." He sobs, forehead in tact with yours but he seems to receive a sensation to his body at the wind that came his way.

"You've saved me the minute you met me, my love." You wish you could've whispered to him but he took it as the wind was the only embrace he'll ever get now.

"And you saved me too." Panda walks in to this horrid scene as he feels the sympathy rush to him. Megumi looks up at him with the liveliness dying along with you as your lover delicately holds your cheek one last time before kissing you on your temple muttering one more time,

"I love you always."

Standing up was the second hardest thing he had to do because turning his back to you came at first as his knees threatened to fall but alas, he has to do continue on because that's what you would've wanted right?

"I love you, Megumi. I'll be here waiting for you."

And the upcoming battles for him to face were laced with rage and the never ending bitterness that love seemed to haunt him with.

⟡ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎's phone rang as while he stops to stare at the caller. It was odd for him to receive a phone call from Megumi at this hour but he supposed it was probably for some guidance since they were sent to a mission. Being aware of their location, he didn't hesitate to transport as fast as he could to get there but there's this calling to him how it wasn't bound to be what he expected.

Panting heavily, Megumi ran with life on the line as he carried you in his arms without the ability to pace your breathing the same as his.

"GOJO-SENSEI!" He shouts with every power in his lungs the second Gojo had appeared, who stood stunned at the boy who was approaching him with a familiar figure.

"Y/N?" Satoru says, uncertain of what he just saw but when Megumi reached him, out of his breath as Nobara and Itadori followed behind him. His student places you in your lovers arm as he kneels down with a hand to your chest, alarmed at how your heartbeat was nowhere near notice. Fushiguro could see the worry in the mans eyes as he bites his lip in sympathy before telling the two to spare a moment for the so called strongest sorcerer who was now on his knees for only one person.

"We saw them being followed by a cursed spirit but they led Y/N to a trap." Megumi briefly explains as Gojo could only spare him a nod as your eyes would flutter once a while as the three students let them be.

"I warned you, didn't I?" He says, a low whisper as your hand weakly reach for his blindfold while Gojo's own rhythm of a heartbeat began to ache. Once he felt how you raised it with a cough of blood spoiling his uniform as his expression grow more frantic with every second.

"Hey there, pretty. You mind staying with me for a little longer?" He asked as if your ears were as attentive as it were before when his eyes stared back at your dazed ones. You didn't respond which was troubling him, what more was that your hand immediately dropped to your chest when he finally looked at you. A shakey sigh leaves Gojo while he rose, ready to fly you anywhere as long as you promised to stay.

"A little more please, can you do that for me?" He begs of you but instead, your head fell unconsciously in his arms with the threat of your eyes to close before he could ever look at you again, not too mention the flow of blood that came from your stomach that didn't seem to stop. He hasn't had the confidence to look at your body before because the fear on Megumi's face made him certain of how the damage had been rough on you. Up this close, he can see two massive wounds to your lower body as well as scratches on your forearms with some bruises on your wrist, hinting how their grasp on you was too strong compared to someone who was powerless.

The hue of his eyes appear to be less saturated than before and for the first time in the life of the honored sorcerer, his heart was irreparable and no amount of technique can reverse the way love his love for you had been the fault for your end.

Unknown to his own senses, his tears fall to your cheek as he pulls you closer like an embrace that didn't bring him his usual amount of comfort.

"Satoru, stop messing around!" You said as he spun you around, tight arms around his neck as he flew in the air, not bothering to listen to your protests of putting you down.

"I won't let you go, how could I ever do that to you?" He assures you, with his own arms tied to your waist with a bright smile on his face.

"And if I fall?" You asked him, glancing at the heights below you but Gojo only tucks a piece of hair behind your ear as you looked at him with the sun in your eyes since two lovers were up in the sky to reach for the clouds.

"I'll be there to save you."

But where was he when you fell from the skyscrapers?

"You hate me, I'm sure." He says biting his lip in agony as he buries his head to your chest, silent sobs and unsteady breaths coming from the sorcerer.

"I love you so much." Satoru breathlessly said. The head that was once on your chest began to move away when he heard nothing more than the silence that came from your heart. They were out to get you, how stupid was he to let you out of his sight just for a second? Maybe then he could've danced with you one more time, up in the sky for the two of you to conquer the heights of being in love.

"I'm so sorry, darling." He then kisses the side of your lip as his feet met in contact with the floor as the rest of the Jujutsu tech as Shoko lets out a saddened sigh.

"Wait for me okay? I'm not done loving you yet." He whispers to you one last time while he hands you over to Shoko as Megumi spares him a glance to notice how wretched his mentor looked.

"I have some things to do." Gojo announces, withstanding the grief to plot revenge to the ones who took you away from him as the rest didn't bother to object knowing there was no possible way to stop a man who had lost the love of his life in revenging your death. He disappears in a split second as the rest of the students didn't notice the tears that kept flowing from the person they look up to.

How can he be the strongest when he failed to protect his only weakness?

Until then, Gojo Satoru could only look at the sky to remember you since his infinity that he swore was to be spent with you died in his arms along with his lover.

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the-slasher-files · 4 years ago

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Slashers React - S/O being a witch or wiccan

INCLUDES JASON, MICHAEL, BO, BILLY & STU and LOST BOYS

btw I am a wiccan myself so I hope you enjoy the hcs :)

JASON VOORHEES

Holy fucking shit, you guys are a POWER COUPLE, never in my life have a thought of a better couple

He may not understand at first but once you explain it to him he adores it. Abiding by the laws of nature is something he already does, so the fact that you do too and share a lot of the same opinions of nature, melts his heart

Clearing a little area in the forest making sure it is hidden away for your alter is a dream job for him

Nature walks all the time but it has more meaning now, knowing you’re a wiccan or witch

Herb, flower, mushroom or plant picking is something he will always do for you, leaving them at your alter

LOOK he found a cool rock or a weird piece of drift wood or animal skull, perfect for you :)

Finds it very sexy when you are doing witchcraft, especially if it’s in the forest

You would slow dance to the rain and light candles everywhere

Gardening would quickly turn into one of his favorite hobbies with you

Teaching him about the holidays you celebrate gives him reasons to spoil you on those days, he would bake with you, make potions with you, bring in your moon water in the early morning for you

Your crystals are his favorites, all the pretty colors and unique patterns, he might steal one and carry it around with him, rubbing it when he misses you

Anything you do to appreciate his land and the cabin you share makes his undead heart flutter

The absolute best partner for a witch or wiccan

The crystal that suits him is an Amethyst - It is a grounding stone, bringing peace and calmness but is one of the best protection stones

MICHAEL MYERS

Major head tilt, squints

Once you explain it him he still doesn’t get it, and he doesn’t care

He will just examine your stuff, poking it and moving it around pissing you off

oh great, more holidays to celebrate

Secretly thinks it is kind of cool, but he will never tell you

Maybe thinks you’re a little crazy because he heard some other person in the mental hospital going on and on like you do

If you tell him he is blessed and has gifts he will have a hard time accepting that, but he would think about it forever because there had to be an explanation for how he could never die

He will bring you home something from a cemetery probably because he still doesn’t get it

He will just stare from the shadows of a candle lit room watching you do spell work

When he's pissed beyond reason, never sage him, never place crystals on him, never get him to drink tea, you might die

He will find a crystal in his coverall pockets for protection and he will never give it back to you, it’s his now and he will cherish it

The crystal that suits him is Black Obsidian - It is a pure black stone that has a mysterious aura, heavily used for protection, it is also a very powerful stone, good for healing and truth seeking

BO SINCLAIR

Again, another bad partner for this lol

You’re a what?? He has heard of witches before but never wiccans. Coming from Louisiana it has a very heavy history on witches and voodoo, good and bad. He honestly might be shitting his pants inside but keeps it cool, just please tell him you’re a good witch. His momma always told him to never ever mess with witches.

Thinks you’re crazy for believing in that stuff

If you feel the presence of his mom and dad, never bring it up to him, the only way you could do it is say “You’ve got some angels looking over you Bo” and leave it at that

You will make him learn to appreciate nature and taking him for walks is the best thing to do, it calms him and you can teach or tell him stories about what you believe in

He would tell Lester to grab some antlers or skulls for your “ummm idk what she does, she just needs them”

If you’re in some lingerie while doing witchy work, he will ease into it more

Bo would be the guy who yells about the sage smoke stinking up the house, while he is smoking a cigarette, b a s t a r d

Jokes about his bad energy filling your alter will happen a lot

He honestly thinks its cool though, after a while, seeing a beautiful powerful soul doing something you love warms his heart

He’s going to try to understand but he will laugh and make fun

If there are people in town he’s going to hunt that night, he will have to deal with you placing some sort of protection rune, stone or necklace either in his pocket or around his neck, Bo won’t like it at first but showing you care so much for him melts his heart and he will protect it with his life

His crystal is Smokey Quartz - It is used for strength and fortifies nerves, protection, a stone that represents Pride, but also brings calmness which we all know he needs!! The smokiness of it just reminds me of the colour of alcohol or his cigarette smoke

BILLY & STU

Both genuinely curious and love it

They don’t really understand it but they are willing and ready to try

Taking you on nature walks probably wont be as relaxing as they promised; Stu will climb a weird tree and end up hurting himself, then you will find some neat looking mushrooms and they dare each other to eat it

Find it hot but are a little spooked

Billy would hate the smell of sage but Stu doesn’t mind it all

They find it sweet when you try to put protection stones in their pockets when they go to kill

Stu will bring you an average rock from the sidewalk and say hey this is neat, here you go

They are defiantly into trying witchcraft with you

Stu will love your home made teas

Billy will never make a big deal about what you do, he just thinks it is neat and willing to go get whatever you need for your work, and ngl he is more interested in dark magic

They will defiantly interrupt you will you are meditating or doing spell work so always try to do it when they aren’t home

Will ask if you could do tarot readings on them and if you use a crystal ball

The crystal for them is Jade - a good protection and supportive stone, seeks love, passion and nourishment. It is also good for dreams and astral projection

THE LOST BOYS

They are no strangers to the supernatural of course but they don’t know what a witch is beyond what they’ve seen in movies

I feel it would be very 50/50 on caring or not, this stuff isn’t even on their radars

Dwayne, I think would handle it the best. (correct me if I am wrong) He is of Native American descent, so he has heard lots of stories about shamans and he is the most spiritual out of all the boys

Once they see you doing spell work or setting up an alter they are much more interested

If you are already turned, you are arguably one of the most powerful, David will not admit it but he knows it

Marco will 100% bring you random things he likes, not at all related to witchcraft but he thinks it could be, man doesn’t get it

David finds you extremely sexy, him and Dwayne will probably be the only ones that actually get it, and David loves the power

They pretty much just leave you to it

A lot of moon and shadow work will be your main witchcraft with them

If you are cleansing the cave with sage Paul and Marco will make drug jokes and ask to smoke some

ngl I think Paul might be the most scared of you, but he will never show it, He doesn’t understand it and thinks you going to spray him with holy water or make him have nightmares

Dwayne will be the one to take you to the surrounding forests and go on some nature walks with you, collecting what you need

David - black tourmaline: a very powerful protection stone, pure black, great for purification and helping with anger. Star - rose quartz: the stone of love and purity, heals the heart, and dissolves worry and fear turning those feelings into love. Marco - Emerald: a crystal just as blue as his eyes. A stone of hope, encouragement and joy, turns negative energy into strength, love and compassion. Dwayne - fire agate: This stone has a very deep connection the earth radiating calm, stability and strength, also very good for power and protection. Paul - rutilated quartz: a crystal that seeks truth and authenticity, giving strength to the truest souls and uplifts and brings joy.

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yellowocaballero · 2 years ago

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oh no you're right about all of it i'm not jewish either i'm on the other spectrum of the scale that is abrahamic religions (unnecessarily convoluted way to say i'm muslim idk why i phrased it like that lol anyway) so as someone who's pretty used to seeing characters with the same religion as me onscreen either having that aspect of their identity pretty heavily stereotyped or just trivialised i was hoping the show would handle it sensitively considering that (i haven't read the comics) marc's jewish identity does play a huge part in his characterization even if he wasn't conceived as jewish from the get go

and you're right we get like a handful of scenes that establish he's jewish (even less so for steven someone else pointed out the mezuzah in a fic but i'm not really good at finding stuff like that so yeah) and like yeah there's a lot going on in that scene but it's just subtext yk? it's written as something that's meant to be inferred and idk i do feel like there should've been more explicit text (tbf a lot of my problems with mk is that they rely way too much on like the audience piecing things together i mean i'm not asking for an exposition dump but it would've been nice to have like more flashbacks for characters and some more exposition and stuff)

the mcu is definitely heavily pro military there's this yt video by skipintro i watched a while ago which talked about the support the military funding of the mcu movies and how the avengers can be very easily equated to the united states' tendency to be the global police and how cap and tony represent american exceptionalism vs imperialism in their civil war conflict (great video btw you should check it out if you have time)

and yess i agree like yeah the story was very scaled up and didn't have as much time devoted to the characters that i feel an initial outing should've had especially considering that these are characters having their first appearance in this franchise + the way everyone keeps talking about it being a contained story like i have such mixed feelings about this show because there's a shit load of potential and i feel like they missed out on an important chunk of it but i do really like the characters so that explains why i'm always looking up for fics with them i guess

please don't apologise about the question i started the ramble and ngl i was kind of anxious for some reason after sending that ask lol so your very cohesive reply was great i had to reread it a couple times to be sure to formulate my response to everything (might've still missed one or two points wouldn't be surprised if i did)

anyway as an actual answer to your answer to the question i asked i really love that idea of jake being really philosophical and same idt i'd ever feel comfortable writing about marc's relationship with his religion because it's pretty different from my own (we both have a complicated relationship with though lol) and yeah thank you for answering my ask so eloquently hope you're having a good day/night

You are absolutely fine I love rambling and talking.

I love comic books and I hate the MCU as a whole so I am perpetually stuck in a sticky situation where I still glean joy from MS MARVEL on SCREEN doing her TEEN HIJINK but also it's all tepid and insipid. Which is...that is so fine, things are allowed to be tepid. But if you do nothing but read comics then you become a redditor and it's the same way with any sort of, for lack of a better word, 'trashy' stuff. I watch an insane amount of the trashiest genres one may imagine that I don't talk too much here about, and it's great, but if it was the only thing I watched my brain would leak out of my ears.

And yes, totally, MK brings up some insanely interesting stuff that you can just go way deep into, and I did enjoy how it did not assume the audience was stupid. With only 6 hours of content I am guessing that they just simply did not have time to stretch things and lay them out more explicitly. My brain is a rabid hyena and media analysis is crack cocaine to me, so I was really satisfied with the amount that it left me to figure out, but you are right - criticism should be laid out. You should be upfront. And while it's cool to leave some stuff (themes, imagery, metatextual relationship with the MCU, commentary on DID in media) implied, stuff like Marc's Jewishness has been implied enough. Again, like, look at how many Jewish characters we have. When writing, especially for TV, you have to make a lot of sacrifices to choose what to cut and what to keep, but I believe it's important to prioritize stuff like that. Wish things were different, wish it wasn't MCU, wish it had more than 6 episodes, wish it could have a harder bite. Verdict Of Would Be Better If More Episodes And Not Disney.

The MCU, and you could make a very strong argument that the entire concept of superheroes, is rabidly pro-military and it's disturbing. At the very least it's propaganda for the American hero narratives of the Exceptional Man and propagating exceptionalism, at the most it is just funded by the military. I could go REALLY fucking into comparing how the military is portrayed with Steve Rogers vs Carol Danvers vs [mostly implied but very much there] Marc Spector and it's fucking fascinating. The show has a subtle relationship with the rest of the MCU. But, like, military propaganda, so. It can't just not be that. So [mostly implied but very much there].

Unfortunately "really enjoyable, had a lot of potential, charming characters, didn't quite live up to the potential" is. The ripest, most fertile ground for fanfic.

Very quickly re: writing identities that are not your own - I have a pretty basic formula, which is that as a basic foundation I look for similarities and shared experiences between myself and that identity, and how I can relate and halfway-understand. I normally get this through talking with friends and exchanging viewpoints and also keeping in mind that not all experiences of discrimination are equivalent. In the story, the stuff that I will just never understand I downplay and the parts that resound with me the most I spend more time on. I fill up the gaps and add detail through research, speaking to friends again and reading testimonials, and doing more straightforward Wikipedia stuff for terminology and etc.

#my writing #cracking open the mk tag: oh boy i hope this fanfic explores the subtle and implied aspect of the boy's relationships #and spends more time on the things that were glossed over in the narrative #:/#and sometimes people are just based off my friends sorry olivia i still love you i know you aren't hot jon

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dourpeep · 2 years ago

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I’ve missed you too !!

Oh also I associate you with snow and brainrot too, i like refreshing my feed and just seeing you talk about what interests you or what’s going on :,)

And snow because of the gif of Dragonspine as your banner. And the warm tones of you blog always makes it feel real cosy too

I’m glad work isn’t completely exhausting you, and also enjoying hot tea in hot weather is a talent ehe

As for me, I’m a little burnt out at the moment and kind of exhausted (just finished my 200 event after forever OTL) but I’m doing okay, nothing a few days of rest and a break won’t fix. Other than that I’m really excited for this month because I go to university finally, I’ve been waiting forever and now I’m just impatient for it;;;

Oh !! Before I forget, not sure if you knew (kind of went overboard with rbing it last week) but there’s a part 2 to my Rubedo piece if you’re interested in reading it. It’s okay if you’re not, but I tagged you in the first one so I thought I’d let you know

Anyway, I hope you’re having a good day/night, it’s nice to talk to you again <33

ueueue Bunbunnnnn

But also snow! I do love snow--I don't really like the cold but I like it a lot more than heat, and playing around in it or just standing while looking up when it snows is a favorite pasttime for me nodnod. Also same with cold weather in general- very nice, very pleasing mmhm

Ah!!! I'm glad you think it's cozy! I didn't even think about that--but it brings me joy to know you think so!! Cozy blog vibes are always welcome ehe

I'm ngl I'm kinda exhausted b/c of work, but I'm nothing if not perseverant! So--once more, gotta do what you gotta do and if that means working for 10/hr, then so be it OTL

Ahh yesyes make sure to get a bunch of rest! Eat something that you enjoy + maybe pick up a good book or fic and cosy up in bed nodnod But that being said, Uni is exciting :DDD I've always loved taking classes in college because it feels freeing. You get to choose what classes you take and whose course of that class you take and when- Being able to control your schedule as well as decide more is so freeing and very rewarding nodnod.

I used to take classes so that I had an hour or two between for lunch and leisure and I'd spend most of it prone on the ground in the science division because we had an incredible amount of monarch butterflies and monarch butterfly caterpillars that resided in the area-

Ahhh what fond memories.

isdhfoieh aNYWAY! I hope that you enjoy uni!! hehe go get those course credits! Pursue knowledge!!

Did- did you say Rubedo???? I'll make sure to take a look once I finish up in Lost Ark >>

I hope you are having a good day/night as well once more! Don't be afraid to drop by with any sort of random bit or bauble should you feel like it :DDD

#anon asks #bunbun my beloved!#sprout's community garden

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syubub · 4 years ago

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2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!

Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.

I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!

I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.

If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!

Cool cool cool.

Let's get it.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!

LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)

Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.

(Enough talking. Damn)

So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?

Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.

More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.

Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).

Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(

Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.

This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.

I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.

Oki. May and March are also important times.

Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.

Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.

For the record, the pictures are right to left.

January for the collective

We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"

Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.

This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.

With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.

Now January for BTS!!

We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)

January has been... strange? To say the least.

This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.

For January: possible mixtape or announcement.

February for the collective

We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.

The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later

Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.

February for BTS

We have judgment.

Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!

February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)

March for the collective

The chariot and justice

This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.

Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.

There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.

We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!

March for BTS

Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.

Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!

With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.

I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!

March: possible mixtape or solo project?

April for the collective

We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.

Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)

And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.

April for BTS

The heirophant

Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.

This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.

April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though

May for the collective

Five of cups and queen of cups reversed

Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.

Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.

Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.

The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.

May for BTS

9 of pentacles

This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!

May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.

Yoongi interlude

I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.

Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.

I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.

June for the collective

Death and the heirophant reversed.

Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?

The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.

June for BTS

Page of pentacles

Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!

June: idk

July for the collective

10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.

10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.

The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.

If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.

Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.

You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.

July for BTS

4 of swords.

This is about rest and relaxation!

Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?

July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.

August for the collective

5 of coins and the wheel of fortune

Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.

But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.

August for BTS

The devil.

Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.

I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.

August: ???

September for the collective

We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.

The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!

Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.

This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!

September for BTS

Knight of swords reverse

This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.

September: no clue

October for the collective

Ten of coins and the star reverse.

Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.

With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.

October for BTS

5 of pentacles reverse.

This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.

October: something is likely but idk

November for collective

Six of swords reversed and the moon.

Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.

This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!

November for BTS

7 of wands

Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.

My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.

November: nothin

December for the collective

Two of cups and the emperor!

Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!

two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!

It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.

If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.

December for BTS

Queen of cups

Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.

I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!

December: possibly a thing?

Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.

For the collective (on the left)

Three of swords and judgment reverse.

The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"

The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.

You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.

Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.

The oracle card is inner temple.

Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.

For BTS

10 of swords and page of swords

The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)

The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.

With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.

The oracle card is Pleiades

This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)

I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!

Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!

Hope you guys are happy and well 💜

84 notes · View notes

liria10 · 3 years ago

Note

Favorite Benny books?

Ok so. Tumblr crashed as I was typing this on mobile. I am retyping it on desktop cause fuck this site, and I Have Opinions, and my friend I will let you hear them or so help me!

.... This got. Really. Really long. I am adding a read more to spare you guys from that.

Ok so! As a preface, I haven't read many VNAs with Benny in it, and of her solo books, I still have 2 of her Legion books to read.

I'm going to (re)start this with the VNAs!

Love and War: a very classic answer perhaps, but it is a really good introduction for Benny, even if the book has its flaws and can certainly show its age nowadays. Cornell absolutely nails her right off the bat, and from her very first page, Benny is just a character that keeps you interested. Not only does she work great as a counter to both Seven and Ace, but she also brings a breath of life to the whole range the way only a prose character can.

Plus, I think one of the greatest successes of that book lies in how Benny appears as a rounded and flawed person from the beginning. She’s not your ordinary girl dragged to a whirlwind of adventure and an universe of wonders, but an older, adult woman, with a good chunk of life experience and adventures already behind her, and while setting foot inside the TARDIS opens up a new and unexpected chapter in her life, it does also remain just that. A chapter. Benny had a life before the Doctor, and from that moment, while noone could have predicted it then, she would have one after him as well.

The Left-Handed Hummingbird: I just finished that one last week, so it’s obviously both fresh in my mind, and one I'm thinking highly of at the moment. Well I mean, it’s Orman! Or course I love it. She really is great at writing both intricate, large stories, and yet focusing on the personal, on the human side of things. And I find that this book does a great job at putting benny in the role of the grounding presence both for ace and the doctor, as well as exploring how time traveling as they do, and dealing with seven’s schemes can be frustrating for benny. That whole tardis team is a mess, and none of these people really… work well together, but it’s because they’re so dysfunctioning that they’re fascinating, and orman absolutely nails that.

Theater of War: A very different type of book, it is honestly a fun romp, and it has Benny being an actual archeologist, down to dealing with the academia side of things. And it’s the little things, but I love it when Benny books remember that about her tbh? Also, it has some nice theater theming, and well, as an introduction for brax, it certainly works well! It’s one of those VNAs that I think is just fun. A well crafted story with good takes on the characters, that’s always enjoyable to me!

Return of the Living Dad: Orman again?? What a surprise! But frankly, I love how this book is all about Benny and her daddy issues, be it with the Doctor or well, her actual dad. Between that, her budding marriage with Jason, and finding out so many old wounds reopened, I just. Really love how raw Benny can be under Orman’s pen? How underneath it all, she still has that side of the scared orphan that lost both parents to a war she was far, far too young to ever comprehend, and how that just left her rebelling against the world in general, and resenting deep down her parents for that abandon. I mean, it’s neat character stuff, but it can very easily be written as dull & cliche shitte you know? And Orman really… always get down to the heart of it all, and boi does it make for some great reading.

The Dying Days: It’s a very fun book, and well, technically works as the first round for Benny as the lead woman after all! It’s a joy all throughout, triumphant where it needs to be, and managing to both celebrate the Doctor and what he brought to the VNAs, as well as setting up the stage for Benny to go on to her own range. It’s basically one last run of the old team, and well. I do love Benny & Eight, and yes I am blaming Parkin for it. Also, big brained take to have Eight give her Wolsey because I love that cat and Benny deserves a cute kitty in her life. We all do.

Ok!! Now on to the NA, and my personal favorite era!

Dragon’s Wrath: It’s a fun one!! I do really like the story being centered again on archeology first and foremost, and it’s a good romp that has some really good take on Benny. Especially the trial scenes, I love how those one get down to Benny as someone who despite everything, loves history, and cares very very deeply about the artifacts she uncovers. Also, it introduces brax as a mainstay of the dellah era, and does so in a rather nice way. Overall, a very enjoyable book!

Beyond the Sun: Benny & students stranded on a planet with mystery to uncover, that’s already a fun premise, and then throw in all the various queer themes present, especially with Emile, and the whole scene of them all in drag performing on top of a bus, and it’s just a rather good book. Plus, I love how it mirrors the whole VNA Doctor mantra, except with a very Benny twist. Sometimes cruel, sometimes cowardly, but trying her damndest to do good. And well, that’s just Benny isn’t it? I always harp on about the very heart of Benny being her humanity, and if there’s something that book highlights, it’s that.

Deadfall: Jason takes center stage in this one, and well, I do really love Jason. It’s overall a fun book with some nice lore ideas, and I love how it works Cwej in the whole Dellah setting. Also, at least it’s a story with Jason in the lead that doesn’t end in utter tragedy, and that’s always nice!

Tempest: Ok so. That book isn’t great. The story’s cliche, the characters aren’t the best, and the plot itself? Forgettable, it’s another in the list of “sort of base under siege story in the dellah era” which you’d think wouldn’t be super common and yet! So… why am I listing it here? Cause the concept of the planet!! The idea of a world of storms and disaster, run through via a blind train as the only means of transport? The fantastic animal life described in it??? That book left an impression of me, and that’s not something I can say of all of the others.

The Medusa Effect: … Justin Richard writes a good Benny. Like, legit. I love how that one really works with the setting & history of Dellah, and gives further information on the planet’s involvement with the Dalek war. Plus, it also got some really, really nice aesthetics. I am soft for good aesthetics ok? Benny, dancing with a skeleton on the deck of an old spaceship made to look like a cruise liner in an hallucination/dream sequence type of thing? Sign me right up!

Beige Planet Mars: That one is a blast. I remember just, absolutely loving it when I read it tbh. Between the overall description of Mars, the further Lore Implication of the Mars invasion & all that, as well as it basically being one last round of more… Normal dellah books before everything goes to hell? It’s one i’d highly recommend if you want to have a good time.

Tears of the Oracle: Probably my favorite of that whole range? (apart from dead romance, which I am not counting as a benny book) I love just, how much overall… feelings isn’t quite the words i’m looking for, but i can’t think of a better way to put it… there is throughout the book? It was thought to be the end of the NA as it was written and well, that shows. I love how it weaves the whole mystery of “what happened to that legendary archaeologists?” with the whole side of what’s basically some of the only survivors from dellah going on one last round of discovery. The status quo of the range was destroyed quite a few books before that one, but imo, it’s there that they take the time to stop for a bit, and just. Deals with what that means in actuality. And ngl, I love the entire sequence of Benny & Brax walking through the wreckage of what used to be their home, it’s a scene that works really, really well.

And well, it does a great job at setting up the future as well after all! Yes, there’s still 3 books after it, but when you look at where Big Finish picked up… they went for what Tears of the Oracle was setting up. It really makes the transition flows well between those two, unlike my rambling for a full paragraph before going to “here’s the BF books I like”

The Doomsday Manuscript: A very good start for the range! Not only does it set up the whole collection, but it also introduces the Fifth Axis as a major threat, and does so in a wonderfully well paced book that keeps you hooked throughout. I like how it also sets up Jason’s loss as something Benny is still suffering over, as well as how she hasn’t lost hope in finding him again. Plus frankly, it’s also a really good story.

The Glass Prison: You’d think that for a book where Benny spends the majority of it in prison and not very active due to being near the end of her pregnancy, not much would happen, but the way Jacqueline Rayner builds up an atmosphere of unease, mistrust and a genuine disturbing ambiance throughout the book is just, fantastic.

Genius Loci: This book. This book!!! Ben Aaronovitch writes an absolutely powerful story of Benny as a young woman, lost and finding herself faced with far more responsibility than she ever thought possible. The way he writes the whole mystery, while also making Benny as a 20yo not only believable, but quite distinct from Benny as the adult we’ve all come to know and love is just. So good. My main grip with this book is how abruptly it ends, and how we’ll never get the sequel. I want to read Terra Incognita and more of Benny slowly finding herself damn it!

Dead Men Diaries: Just like Doomsday Manuscript, does a great job at establishing the collection as well as the recurring cast. I really enjoy most of the stories in it, and I think BF started out so strong on those books srsly!

A Life in Pieces: I love it so much. It’s pure brax at his most manipulative, and for such petty reasons. I really like how it both deals with the aftermath of the Fifth Axis occupation, as well as the repercussions Brax’s schemes have for the people living on the collection. Also, it’s just 3 very good novellas in a row that build up to something more, and I always like seeing that.

Nobody’s Children: That book has the best Draconian story in the entirety of doctor who and related. Like, yeah just that. It’s also nice to see the fallout of the Mim/Draconian war. It’s one I didn’t expect a lot out of, and frankly, I ended up really loving it.

The Vampire Curse: The middle novella is one I absolutely hated, but the other two are really good, and mixing benny and vampires is just, very fun. Also!! Predating the Predator is in it, and it is a really good take on vampires in a science fiction setting that also has some nice creep factor as well, and manages to be both a good vampire story, and a good sci fi story, which isn’t always an easy balance to find.

Life During Wartime: It’s a surprisingly hard hitting anthology about living under a fascist regime, and the compromises you have to make, the personal sacrifices and small rebellions. Honestly, there’s a lot I love about it, but certainly one of my favorite moment, is when Benny, having to dine with one of the officers, miss jones & jason, sees that the officer is nearly on to her hiding peter away, and that split second moment of “if I have to, I am willing to kill everyone in this room to protect my son” before he just laughs it off, it’s a lot of tiny moments that build up to a really well done ambiance tbh.

Something Changed: While it did the terrible, terrible sin of introducing Doggles to the world, I really love the concept of every chapter after the first being a different split universe, and how they’re all spiraling more & more out of control. It’s got some really good stories in between too, though they can also be rather hit & miss. An aspect I love about it too is how impactful Wolsey’s death ends up being.

Present Danger: That one is fun, I love how it’s basically everyone vs the deindum, a situation slipping more and more out of control, mixed with some neat stuff one the deindum’s whole temporal deal. It’s again a bit hit & miss, but it’s still a blast, and as the last anthology of the collection era, it does send it all off with a bang.

Welp. Far, far too many words later, and here we are!!! I love Benny a lot ngl, and I genuinely think that prose is the medium best suited for her. I have been rather disappointed with the more modern books, I find them far more bland than what I personally expect from Benny but ah well. Can’t always get everything.

And while it’s neither a book, nor even an official story in any mean, the fanfic “Sepelio” that’s an Hannibal au set in the Dellah era is great, and the benny story I have been enjoying the most lately. I would be remiss not to at least mention it!

#ask #ask tag #bernice summerfield #.... Look I love benny probably a bit too much for my own good

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v-hope · 3 years ago

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Damn stress is everyone's friend ain't it 😭🤧

I thought of sharing a quote I love that helps me a lot. It has the same vibe as "sufficient for the day is its own trouble" but it sounds more romantic and poetic xD

Ngl, I'm going through a quite troublesome season in my life right now too. The only thing keeping me at peace is that it's just a season and as long as I do my best and rest too and hang in there, it'll turn out fine 💕

I'm not as good with words as you are, but I hope you know that your writing brings joy, cause your humour is so so exquisite! And the sensation that love maybe does exist. 👉👈 And hope that in the end everything will turn out well 🤏 it makes one dream and imagine that maybe the world ain't that bad after all. To me it does, at least. I know it's all imagination, but hasn't dreaming kept people going all throughout history? I very much appreciate you breaking pieces of your time in order to paint the marvelous ideas your brain comes up with for us. Thank you so so much 🥺❤️❤️ you have no idea how precious it seems to me that you share bits and pieces of yourself with us, that you put yourself out there. Cause that's what writing expresses, in my humble opinion: a small glimpse into someone's very soul; someone exposing the inner craftsmen that are their neurons LOL

Anyway, I probably sounds like a lunatic but I mean every word. All in all, you're super amazing and I really appreciate you 🧍

Also you can take that as a "why you follow me" ask 🙃 cause i thought about sending you one and noticed i wasn't following you pls i suck

in all honesty i am just… speechless rn

that is such a nice quote :( i like the way you think about things that come your way. whatever it is you’re going through, i hope you get to feel better soon 💕

tbh i think rn you are way better with words than i am, idk how to take compliments KSÑSKDÑSN especially when they’re as wholesome as this one 😭😭😭💕

i’ve read this so many times and i still don’t know what to answer other than thank you :( thank you SOSOSOSO much, you have no idea how much this means to me 💖

tell me why you follow me!

#i’m definitely not crying what do u mean #ask #fairyjinie #a: 💗

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kiiraeth · 4 years ago

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departure nocturne - takami keigo

pairing: takami keigo/hawks x reader

warnings: angst,character death,i think like a brief mention of blood

words: 1480

a/n: ngl i listened to the Giselle act II pas de deux on repeat while writing most of this, so filled with sorrow and despair, yet still strangely hopeful. it hits different with this fic yall. also huge thank you to the lovely @jmeyerss for beta reading this for me, you a real one ily. still kind of hate it, i’m not proud of this piece haha

Keigo knew that you were the one, but he was never quite sure how to tell you that. The man knew that in selfishly loving you he had put you in danger and he knew that he didn’t deserve you. Even so, he couldn’t bring himself to leave that love behind. It was something so wonderful and dear to him that he had never felt before, and he knew he would do anything to protect it.

He also knew that you worried for him constantly. You were both pro heroes, but his hero work often seemed much more taxing and treacherous than yours, from what he was allowed to tell you.

But even so, you had stuck with him. You stayed by his side even when he told you not to, you stayed with him in his lowest moments, when memories of a dark past plagued his mind. When that happened, and nothing felt secure in his head, you were always a constant. His adoration of you always stayed the same.

This is what he thought of as he lay battered on the hard wooden floor after his battle with Dabi. Even with wounds littering his body and blood caked to his skin, you were the only thing he could think of. Even with the life slowly flickering out of his eyes, he desperately hoped that he’d get to gaze upon your face one more time. But he supposed that was wishful thinking now.

——————————————————————————

You quickly made your way through piles of rubble that filled the area around you. The hero costume you wore had definitely seen better days and you had multiple wounds left coated with blood, but none of that mattered to you. The only thing that was running through your mind was finding Keigo as soon as possible.

You and the other pro heroes had won the battle against Shigaraki and the League of Villians with the help of the Yuuei students, and now, you frantically searched for your lover amongst the wrecked buildings surrounding you. Your voice had become rough from yelling Keigo’s name in a futile attempt to gain any type of response from him.

You had still remained hopeful that Keigo was ok, but that hope quickly began to dwindle as you peeked your head through the door of a nearly demolished building. Your eyes widened at the scene before and your heart dropped. Keigo lay battered in the middle of the room, his body littered with burns and open wounds and his brilliant vermillion wings were no longer proudly perched upon his back.

You shook yourself out of your shocked stupor and dashed towards him, trying your best to not to trip over the rubble from an obvious destructive fight.

“Keigo! Keigo please, can you hear me love? Please please you have to talk to me!” your voice had already began to shake with emotion as you fell to your knees and cradled your lover close to you.

Keigo’s eyes weakly fluttered open to meet yours, and as they did he found the smallest bit of energy to give you a frail smile, a stark difference from the ones he usually gave you.

He mustered up the energy to quietly speak to you “Hey there baby bird, are you okay? you kinda look like a mess.”

you rolled your eyes brimming with tears and gave a small laugh as you placed your hand to the side of his face. “Of course, you’re here covered in burns and blood and you say i’m the mess, how very Hawks of you.”

He let out a soft laugh which quickly dissolved into a fit of coughs, to which your eyes filled with worry and fear again.

“Hey hey, you’re gonna… you’re gonna be alright ok? i’m going to find help or- or- god I don’t know, please, what can I do to help you Keigo?”

His somber eyes gazed into your grief-stricken ones. He could tell you were still trying to keep a strong and calm front, but he knew you too well. He knew that there was sorrow screaming behind those eyes, and he also knew he wanted nothing more in that moment than to see your eyes filled with joy again.

But unfortunately, he had the sense you wouldn’t be feeling any joy in this moment with him.

As Keigo’s heartbeat began to reluctantly slow, yours only sped up as you began to panic even further.

“Hey baby please, you have to stay awake ok? You can’t leave, you can’t leave please! I’m begging you, stay with me!” you pleaded with him frantically.

“Hey, birdie, you know we can’t do anything, alright? We knew this was going to happen eventually, and i’m so sorry that this is how you have to see me before i go.”

You shook your head and screwed your eyes shut at his words. “No no, stop it! you’re going to be just fine, someone’s going to come help us and- a-and we’ll go to the hospital and you’ll be ok! You c-can’t leave us like this Kei, you can’t leave me like this! I-I need you, please!”

His slow-moving heart began to break even further at your words, but he knew that there wasn’t anything either of you could do, so he did his best to reach an unsteady hand up to caress your face,

“I love you so much birdie. You’re going to be alright, ok? Promise me that you’ll be ok for me, I just want you to be happy, even if I won’t be there to see it.”

You let out a broken sob and paused before weakly nodding your head. you leaned forward and desperately kissed keigo, in a final show of how much you treasured and loved him, before you never got the chance to again. When you pulled away from him you tearfully gazed into his eyes as they began to close.

As Keigo’s body became limp in your arms, you began to weep freely into his still chest and distraughtly grab onto him. You looked up to see his jacket not far from the both of you, and you reached over and grabbed the jacket to drape over him. As you did you heard the slight crinkle of paper from one of the pockets.

Through your tears, you dug through the pockets of the jacket only to find a slightly crumpled letter inside. You examined the paper to find your name written in familiar handwriting on the front, handwriting you may not ever get to see again, and you shakily broke the red wax seal to unfold the paper and read the contents it held.

‘Dear birdie,

I know I’ve never really been the best with talking about my emotions, so I figured I might write this because I want you to know how much I really cherish and love you with all of my heart.

I never ever in my whole life thought that I would find something as precious as you, and I never thought I would be deserving of you either. Most days I’m still shocked that you’ve stuck with me all this time, but I can’t begin to tell you how thankful I am for that. I never thought I would love something as much as I love you. I have felt freer with you than I ever did in the sky and safer with you next to me than with my wings around me. You’ve really completed me and made me a better person.

I promise, that when all of this war stuff is over, when we’re safe, I will buy you a big house that we can live in together. We’ll grow that garden that you’ve always wanted, and we’ll fill it with the most beautiful flowers that you’ve ever seen, flowers that remind me of you. I’ll make sure your favourite tea is always stocked and I’ll never start a new tv show without you. I promise, we’ll be happy together.

I love you, so much birdie, please never forget that.

Yours, Keigo Takami’

You held a shaky hand over your mouth as tears coursed down your face at the words held in the letter. You draped your body over Keigo’s and threw your arms around his shoulders, as you pleaded for him to come back to you.

“Kei, please, please we can still do these things right? You said we would create a garden together, you promised! We can still be happy, please!”

He was gone and you knew this, but you didn’t want to accept it. This was the man you desperately wanted to spend the rest of your life with, to wake up in the morning with, to live a wonderful life with. But loving him had always been treacherous, and you hadn’t cared, but you saw now that perhaps a happy ending was never in your future.

#hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha x gender neutral reader #bnha angst #mha angst #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha manga #anime

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y0ung-4ever · 4 years ago

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When I think of you..

Pairing: Park Jimin x female reader

Description: You and Jimin have a strong connection to one another. But when he moves away, will you keep that connection or will it be severed?

Warnings: Ngl this imagine gives off a lot of yandere energy- Soulmate au, Jimins the man we all want

Rating: E

Notes: This story switches between povs, but I’ll tell you who’s and when- but the beginning is yours ;) Also, I’m not sure if I should leave it here or make a part 2?

When I see you, you make every fiber in my body smile.

When I hear you, your voice is a melodic song to my ears, I never want to stop listening.

When I touch you, it feels like lighting shot up my fingertips, electrifying.

When I think of you…

————————————-

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

August 14, 2015

We were always friends. We grew up together, we were never apart, therefore we did everything together.

One day after the other, we made new memories and had exciting adventures.

We went through middle school, made friends.

Then highschool came and it was a bit rough, but we were getting by.

We always hung out with the same friends, this group of just one girl and seven boys.

Me and you were the closest, but I grew closer to each of the other boys as we grew older.

Each of them had their own unique colors. But I always came back to you.

Eleventh grade. Your family was moving away, you weren’t going to be with me much longer.

I was staying back in Seoul, while you were moving to the UK.

You were studying abroad and your dad got a new and improved job in England.

I was left behind with the other boys. But before you left, you said one final thing to me that I held onto for the rest of the time you were gone until today.

We were at your house, we were up on the roof, looking at the sunrise. It would be our last one together. I thought.

It was the beginning of fall, so the air was a bit chilly.

You gave me your jacket. You were taller, so it fit me well.

You turned towards me and looked deeply into my eyes and caressed my hands with your own.

“Y/n-ah I will be gone. For a while. You may not see me. Or feel me. Or even hear me. But you can always think of me. Think of me and all our dreams we had. Think of all the good things we have gone through together and what we will go through as soon as we see eachother again. This will not be our last sunrise, and the sunset will surely not be our last either. As long as you are here on this earth and I’m here too, we are watching the sky together. Think of me when you watch the colors fade together. Promise? I wanted to tell you, not in these standards, but I wanted you to know that I will wait for you. Will you wait for me? I will count down the days until I get to see your beautiful face again-“

Your fingers painted against my cheeks. You put a stray piece of hair behind my ear. You leaned in closer but not close enough.

“-I will never love another woman like I love you. I promise you, Y/n. From this day forward, I may not be here with you, but you are mine. Don’t let anyone else have you. Keep yourself for me and your purity for me too. Promise me that you will do all of those things like I will you.”

You came even closer, I got anxious, I closed that space and closing that space made us fly into oblivion. All I could see was the back of my eyelids as my eyes were closed and my lips were on yours. With that kiss we shared. I promised that I would never let anyone else be this close to me except for you. You were the one I was supposed to be with. You were the first and only person I see as perfect. From that day forward, I would look up at the sky, thinking of us, and this moment we shared on the rooftop of your house.

———————–———————————————––

August 1, 2016

It’s been a year since you left, I held up.

Me and the boys haven’t stopped hanging out, they know I miss you.

I’m doing good in school, junior year was hard without you, but I think that I’ve gotten better senior year.

I was thinking of studying abroad for college in the UK. We could see eachother again.

Every day, after the last class of the day, I always stop by your house. Well your old house.

I’m never alone, If you wanted to know. Out of all the boys, Namjoon was always there for me the most and knew how it felt to lose someone close to you.

Taehyung is so flirty and such a big baby, I wish you were to see how Jungkook grew up. He’s taller than me now.

To be honest,Yoongi has been really distant since you left. More than usual. I think we all just miss you. But I think I miss you just a little bit more.

I really haven’t been eating that much, I just haven’t been hungry. But Jin always makes me. He doesn’t leave me alone until he sees me eat a full course meal before bed.

I think we made really good friends. Hoseok is still the brightest star. He tends to see the positive side of things. I need that right now.

_________________________________________________________________

May 23, 2017

Today is the last day of school. I’m going to be going to college soon. I passed exams well, I kept telling myself that I wouldn’t be able to see you if I didn’t do well.

We haven’t got to call, I promise that I’ve been trying. I always leave voicemails, your mom said that you’ve been really busy. I’m sorry for bothering.

____________________________

July 17, 2017

I miss you. I miss you so much that I wear that jacket you gave me all the time. I’m going to college. Not in the UK, but hopefully you will come back soon. I study hard. But sometimes I have these moments when all I think about is you, and another girl. You probably have a girlfriend. You’ve probably forgotten about me. But I still promised you. I will keep that promise.

I hope you get breaks. That you aren’t working all the time. Is your dad pushing you? I know he can be like that.

My birthday is coming up soon. I wish you would at least text me or call me. Just your voice would be reassuring. I think I’m asking too much.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

———————————-

Namjoon’s Point of View— July 17, 2017

I am not going to lie about the situation. Y/n has been terrible lately. She has definitely gotten worse. She never eats or interacts with anyone else except for me and the boys. It’s like Jimin was the reason she was put onto this earth.

“Hyung, Y/n’s birthday is coming up. I think we should invite Jimin Hyung down. For Y/n/n sake.”

Jungkook misses the way Y/n lit up when they all hung out and played video games together. They never do that anymore, especially now that Jimin’s gone and she’s started going to college.

“Good idea, Kookie. We should. Go get the other boys and tell them we are having a meeting.”

He smiles and runs up the stairs. I turn off the TV and clean up the living room.

Once all the boys pile down the stairs and into the main room, I clear my throat and stand in front of everyone.

“Okay! So everyone knows, or at least I hope you do, that Y/n’s 20th birthday is coming up. Kookie, had the bright idea of throwing a surprise party for her, and inviting Jimin to come down for about a week or two. What do you guys think?”

“Can she handle seeing him after such a long time?”

Yoongi asked. He really cares for Y/n’s mental and emotional health.

“I think it is better if we follow through with it. They both need to see each other.”

I confessed. I think it’s settled.

“Then my idea is the best! Can we all go out to eat now? I’m starving..”

We all laughed and went out to eat.

————————————————————

Y/n’s Point Of View— July 20, 2017

It’s almost my birthday..I think you probably know that. At least I hope you do.

I remember when time just flew by like it was nothing when we were together. But now it’s so painfully slow.

I keep wishing in the well outside of our school, that maybe, just maybe you would show up for my birthday.

Have you really forgotten about me? Has it been that long?

4 more days, Jimin, is that enough time for you to pack and come over here? I think it’s plenty..I think you could do it in less because I bet you are just so excited to see me..right?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

—————————————-

Jimin’s Point Of View— July 20, 2017

Gosh I miss you so much..I bet you think I forgot about you..But I think the same.

I have made 0 friends here..I only have so much attention and I’m going to give 90% of it to you and 10% of it to the boy’s..that’s not selfish, right? I don’t think so.

I meant what I said back before I left..no other boy should be as close to you as I am, or at least was. Yoongi has texted me so much..and I guess they are wanting me to fly over and surprise you. I think that’s an amazing idea, but will I recognize you? And will you recognize me? I wonder if it will be a surprise..

I bet you’re depressed, about me not contacting you..

To be honest, I’m too scared.

What IF you have moved on? I don’t want to face that pain..I’m so vulnerable without you next to my side that if I hear the words, ‘Who are you?’ Or ‘Oh, I have a boyfriend’, my mind will go totally blank and I’ll hide myself away just like I did when I left.

The truth is..I think you are my soulmate. I think you are the one that was put on this earth for me to find and to love.

I'm going to come to you and prove my love for you.

Because when I think of you..

—————————————————

Y/n’s Point Of View— July 20, 2017

I really do love you, Jimin..I’m just so lost without you. Cliché, I know.

You’re my soulmate. I just know it! I have never felt the way I do about you with anyone else! You are the one!

Whenever I see you, I’m going to never let you go. Not like last time. You aren’t going to stay away from me. We are going to be each other’s happiness.

And just your smile. I look at the pictures we took together everyday. Your smile brings me joy, like butterflies in my stomach.

And when I think of you..

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

—————————-

When I see you, it’s like seeing color for the first time.

When I hear you, your words make me love to listen.

When I touch you, the feeling of your warm, soft skin lingers on my fingertips.

When I think of you..

#park jimin #bts fluff #bts army #bts #jimin x reader #baby mochi

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destinyc1020 · 4 years ago

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Can I say an unpopular opinion: Im meh on Euphoria 😬 I love the fact it got Zendaya an Emmy! She ACTS on there and there's come characters I like, but I'm trying to figure out if the music and cinematography is what's making the show better than what it is? I cant see the show have more then 3 seasons because I feel like HBO is going to get tired of Sam and his writer's block and they'll have creative differences. Did you see "We Are Who We Are"?

(I hope you have a comfortable chair) No worries! I don’t necessarily mind “unpopular opinions” on here. I’ll be totally honest --- The show Euphoria isn’t really my cup of tea when it comes to genre of tv shows. And part of me wonders if the way the show is shot is kind of glorifying drug abuse in a way? 🥴 You might be right that the cinematography (which IS good ngl) kind of makes the show more than what it really is in some people’s minds. Some aspects of the show can be triggering for me so I just can’t watch a show dealing with that week after week, and I think Z understands that and even put out a disclaimer for her fans that if they can’t watch it, then THAT’S OKAY. In general, with regard to your sentiment... I feel the same way. I LOVE that Z won the Emmy for it (so proud of her!!! 😃🙌) and she worked SO FREAKING HARD on that show, and it basically became her LIFE, so for her to get rewarded like that is amazing. 😃 I feel like she really put all of her blood, sweat and tears into that show, so I’m sure she’s so proud to feel acknowledged for her hard work. I also like the fact that the show really pushed her to expand her acting skills. She always mentions how it forced her to be more vulnerable and really tap into her emotions onscreen (which, can be a hard thing for some actors to do). With that said.... I think I have more of an issue with SAM than I do of the show itself lol. I don’t like the 16-hour work days every day... I don’t like the fact that

the show takes like 8-9 months to shoot. GOT takes a shorter time period and it’s a freakin’ period piece! 🥴 I just feel like Sam changes stuff last minute, is all over the place, and it adds to the LENGTHY time of shooting. I like that he inspires “creativity” in his actors, but I mean, when you’re changing an actor’s lines the DAY OF filming...it’s kind of chaotic to shoot like that (no offense). I also don’t like that the show takes up A LOT of her time. In the time that she films Euphoria, she could be filming TWO big-screen movie projects.

And lastly... I don’t quite like the fact that the show is SO emotionally taxing. I know it has to be emotionally draining. And if you’re someone like Z who already suffers from anxiety issues and who knows what else, I just think it’s a pretty mentally, emotionally, and maybe even physically draining shoot to be on for 8 months out of the year. 😢 It’s one thing to film a movie where you’re playing a drug addict that is shot for 3-4 months, and the movie is only going to be 2 hours long. It can be draining as well, but once you’re done w/that character... you’re DONE. You don’t keep going back to it year after YEAR...for 8-9 months each time. 👀 Idk maybe it’s just me, I think it could end up eventually being a bit draining over time. I also find it interesting that she feels so strongly connected to her character Rue. It’s almost like she is emotionally attached to the character somehow. For some actors this might be a good thing, for others...not-so-good? I guess it all just depends. I always feel like even if there are certain similarities, you should always sort of separate yourself from the character you are playing...Like, there should be a clear divide. Otherwise you can get caught up.

Overall, if the show inspires her, then great!! 😃 I’m glad it brings her joy,and she seems to view the cast as “family” too, so that’s good. I kind of feel like she should probably move on after S2, but if the show gets picked up for a third season, then she might be playing Rue for a while lol. I just want her to get out of playing high school roles I guess. I’m also more anxious to see her more on the big screen. These are just my personal thoughts. 🤷

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theholycovenantrpg · 4 years ago

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CONGRATULATIONS, LIA! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF RAUM.

Admin Jen: Where do I even begin, Lia? Where do I even begin. Your app caught me by the heart the exact same way that Raum has gone on to covet and capture hearts of her own. I think she’s an easy character to undermine when you consider her underlying sentimentality, but you brought her to life in her viciousness and softness alike without letting one of them overshadow the other, and it’s exactly what I’ve envisioned for Raum. Your writing sample in particular was an utter joy to read, as it perfectly showcased that duality, and not only that but it also captured so many crucial aspects of Raum, all tied together in one amazing, heart-wrenching scene. Please continue breaking my heart with her -- I’m begging. Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

ALIAS | lia

AGE | twenty-two

PRONOUNS | she/her

ACTIVITY LEVEL | i’m a full time graduate student, so tuesdays and thursdays i’ll most likely be completely absent. other than that, expect me to pop in throughout the week. i can get kind of distracted ngl thx adhd

TIMEZONE | pst

TRIGGERS | REMOVED

HOW DID YOU FIND THE GROUP? | i think i know the admins from somewhere i don’t rlly remember tho

IN CHARACTER

CHARACTER | raum, raym, räum — "space, room, chamber"

there is no grandiose tale to accompany raum's arrival in hell. there had been no rise and no fall— her state of existence could only be likened to tabula rasa, a blank slate, wholly unaffected by a past that was just out of reach. the sum of her existence had been hell and hell alone.

lucifer and lucifer alone. he would never fail to remind her of this. the ceaseless parading of this fact, the whispers, the chilling reminders— all in his attempts to compel her into compliance— and appreciation. perhaps he once sought a more extraordinary use for her. perhaps he'd fallen victim to his own ego, an ego so inordinate that it left nearly every crevice and corner of hell untouched. perhaps he'd convinced himself that raum, empty and unaffected, could be fashioned into the quintessential soldier. re-education was often half the battle, so was raum not the ideal starting point?

while raum held no memories of her prior existence, she'd grown to understand that it was not emptiness that festered inside of her, but absence. she was aware of the memories that she lacked. the knowledge that something was being withheld from raum made all the difference. it gave her something to chase. it allowed her something to fixate on and covet. she knew something had been stolen from her. she was not the vacant expanse that she'd been made out to be.

this was before it all. before heaven. before samael. before eve. before caphriel.

raum— who could lay no claim to an origin, no family, surname, or inheritance— had silently been offered a choice in who she would serve first and foremost— lucifer or herself?

it was easy to choose herself. if she had nothing at all, she had herself and the lack that existed within her. this much she knew, and what she would carry as lucifer banished her to the outskirts of hell to keep guard. finally— raum discovered something akin to recognition.

the darkness, the chasm where hell stopped and nothing began— would be an inscrutability that she recognized within herself. for the first time, raum would come to see the darkness as a possibility— as potential. she'd been a canvas stripped away of its imagery, painted over to be made blank, but the job had been executed poorly, and traces of what once existed in bits and fragments just outside of her reach.

raum, who possessed no right of her own, would invoke her abilities to lay claim to the belongings of others. she began filling herself, the unoccupied room, with any or everything— as long as it was not hers. soon, she would make a collection out of borrowed memories, jewels, and hearts. even the slightest pang of jealously drove raum to action.

yet, what use was filling an empty room with items that don't belong to you? items that don't have that same familiarity or ownership that comes with the rightful acquisition of something. and most of all— she could never figure out how to obtain what she coveted most of all. the things should could not have became what she desired most.

identity. belonging. purpose. history.

—nevermind that, though. damien had anointed her in the flames of the new testament. he’d deemed her his vice of envy, and breathed purpose into her hallowed existence. but what of her past? what of the demon who would swallow heaven in its entirety, even if it devoured her in return?

WHAT DREW YOU TO THIS CHARACTER? | where do i even start?!?!? raum was the first character i fell head over heels for. even as i considered different possibilities, i always found myself right back on raum’s bio. she’s absolutely chaotic to her core, and i adore her all the more for it. from the contempt that took hold of her the moment reached hell, to her almost neverending pursuit of what she believes is owed to her. lucifer had done something unforgivable— and that was stripping her of her personhood. this created a gaping chasm, one she would silently resent him for even in his absence. what i find so fascinating about raum is how young of a demon she is how she deals with the insatiable longing festering within her— how jealously and greed exists in every aspect of her world— even in in her relationships with the few beings that she cares about. she is unapologetic of her possessiveness. she is unafraid to make what she wants known, and unafraid to pursue what she wants. she is fiercely loyal, and it is not easy to gain her trust. while some people wear their hearts on their sleeves, raum cuts a piece of it out for every person she comes to love— if they first offer her a piece of their heart in return. she possesses a passion that’s unmatched, emotions that are not regulated nor fully understood. i would love to bring this agent of chaos to the dash.

WHAT FUTURE PLOTS DID YOU HAVE IN MIND FOR THIS CHARACTER? |

from eden / few mortals have captured raum’s attention in the way that evangeline trame has. she is one of the several beings raum covets, and the only other mortal who'd successfully ensnared her attentions— with the first one being eve. nonetheless, raum wants more than anything for. evangeline to become one of her agents of chaos. she reminds the woman that they share more common ground than she may have liked. she also has a sneaking suspicion that the woman might be eve— this is a dynamic i'm very excited to see play out. will it be a game of cat and mouse? cat and cat? she promises evangeline everything she's ever wanted, but how much trust can evangeline put into the jealous demon? how can she prevent herself from falling victim to raum's tempestuous envy? raum is careful not to underestimate a powerful woman, and i'm excited to see how raum's pursuit of evangeline plays out.

to be alone / samael had been the first being raum intertwined her existence with as. though it is samael who is her foundation— it is caphriel who is her mirror. she shares raum’s deep, inexplicable yearning for something they’d been denied access too, even if they couldn’t be anymore different in that regard. nonetheless, raum would like more than anything than for caphriel to belong to her— in the way samael has professed his belonging. when raum realizes that caphriel has changed him in ways she does not understand, when she realizes that something shared between them, something she is inevitably left out of… well, will derail her sense of self, as dramatic as that is. this is a triangle of chaos that i am excited to explore. will raum succumb to her jealousy, doing everything in her power to drive them apart? or will she come to accept their acquaintance for what it is— embrace it even? this is something i would discuss and plot further with the players, but i’m quite excited for it!

someone new / i want raum to gradually unravel the threads of her existence, but at a cost. what if raum were to discover that her past was not grand in the way that she desires if it does not fufill the emptiness permeating through her? this will be fun to play out on the dash, because there’s no telling when and how a memory will be triggered within her. i saw this as something that would occur sporadically, but eventually i imagine raum growing weary of the unintelligible fragments. she’s already pursued heaven, and who’s to say that she won’t search for answers in other places? perhaps she’ll seek out the priestess for the hundred eyed god, orias, or even caphriel. there’s no telling the lengths she will go to discover herself, and i am excited to play this out, especially as she grows increasingly restless and desperate in her attempts.

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WITH KILLING OFF YOUR CHARACTER? | yes. my only stipulation is that she learns the truth of her existence beforehand.

IN DEPTH

DRIVING CHARACTER MOTIVATION | the very absence that raum seeks to eradicate is the entity that operates her in her every waking moment. she wants more than anything to grow into her newly ordained role as vice of envy, but she cannot forsake her past and propel herself to the future like she truly desires. having been so close to heaven once, and now being so far, has only caused her fixation with the angels, and their potential associated tenfold. it is important that the distinction between admiration and fixation are made. between longing coveting. it is not love or hope raum sees when hers eyes linger on an angel for a moment too long. it is some parts greed, and every part jealously. they had what she did not— an entire world that was made without her in mind. what was not to want about that? raum’s adoration in heaven lies in her attraction to what is not hers. the farther the divide between her and the objects of her affection, the more she yearns for it. she is the vice of envy after all— and not an inch of the world will be left unaffected by her plundering.

Character Traits |

DEVOTED, PASSIONATE, INQUISITIVE

VINDICTIVE, POSSESSIVE, VOLATILE

In-Character Para Sample | TW DEATH

his hand did not leave the caress of her cheek as he met her forehead with a pillowy kiss. he could feel the entirety of her face turn upwards in delight— a faint blush now visible across her face. eye contact was barely broken, if only for a few moments as if they could not bear the sight of the world without confirmation that the other was there. delight and laughter capitulated through him as she recalled a fond joke, or perhaps a silly memory involving the two of them. nothing else mattered in that moment. not the drizzling rain, or the worn umbrella that was doing a half-assed job at shielding them. nothing mattered when love swelled their entire beings.

raum watched with a curious expression at first. she was familiarizing herself further with the couple seated directly across from her, through a hardened, yet almost inviting gaze. perhaps raum had not been friendly, but there was something about her curiosity that roused something recognizable in others. perhaps this is why the woman’s eyes lingered on raum’s a moment too long. or perhaps it had been her staring at them for an extended period of time.

he plants a kiss to her damp palm.

as she routinely twists the rings that line her each and every finger, raum can feel the curiosity gradually drain from her body, leaving something far darker in its wake. lazily, it begins to expand in her veins— outstretching itself like a lazy feline— finding comfort in the absence that occupied her every edge and crevice. it then begins to suffocate nearly every inch of her, twisting her heart and mind— her stomach now heavy and knotted. she draws the cup shakily to pouting, and downturned lips, eyes never drawing themselves away from the couple now in a loving embrace.

there was no pulling away now, no denying the familiar covetousness that blistered her heart. invisible, excess envy brimmed at each of her edges. soon, raum’s envy would become no longer just a raum problem…

unblinking, she watched as the stranger told a story she could only make out parts of, as she began to center her envy in her core. nothing else in that moment occupied the chasm of her mind. not heaven. not samael. not her eve. not hell. not damien, lucifer— or even caphriel. not the sweat that began pooling at her temples, not the smudging of her lipstick on the brim of the coffee cup.

it was her and her alone.

her heart, more specifically. raum could sense the goodness within her, the unbridled and unpolluted love. the woman had been sure of herself in ways that she was not. she’d been sure of herself and sure of her love— something raum could never begin to understand. she had been a being created for chaos— not a human free to pursue their heart’s desires. in that very moment, that woman possessed everything raum did not have. her grip on the coffee cup tightened, her lacquered hand offering no mercy to the now empty, suffocating coffee cup. had they’d ever been doubtful in their love? it did not appear so. how foolish of them to put so much stock into something as temporary and fickle as human affections.

but why had it been them? why had raum not been her? her body hummed faintly with something terrible, something wicked— something undetected by the naked human eye.why had that not been her? why had what they had not been hers? questions of why occupied her mind. questions she could no control, questions that threatened to burst from her at any moment. if she’d been human, her heart would’ve surely exploded. no other thoughts allowed her a clear exit from this newest fixation. it would take action to free her from this condition, from this longing that threatened to drive her to the brink of destruction. it would consume her if she did not consume it. if she did not feed it. and raum was never one to be consumed by another.

as the coffee cup drifted from her palms, and as raum’s eyes drifted shut, she relinquished all control momentarily to her greed…

it was if raum momentarily exited her body and into the body of the woman. she felt everything she felt, even her subtle resistance, but she knew better than to get caught up in the inner workings of a mortal. that was how she tended to lose focus, and suffer the loss of an object. it did not take long to find her vivacious heart. raum wondered if the people she stole from truly understood what was occurring while it happened. she wondered if they truly understood that they’d fallen victim to the vice of envy. how much every object meant to her, despite how disposable she’d treated the people she’d acquired them from.

she’d uncovered her heart. a heart the woman had no intention of parting with, but whose intentions and needs fell on deaf ears. there was only one way to escape raum when she’d reached this point. diverting her focus or utter resistance was difficult for the mere, average mortal. even with all the love in the woman’s heart, even with her not being ready to let go of the man before her, she lost her will to fight at every moment. death had come for her, in ways she did not yet understand, but perhaps she would soon. her love had not been enough to save her. his love had not been enough to save her.

there’d been no blood in raum’s acquisition, no visible marks left in her wake— only a woman now motionless in the man who’d once caressed her cheeks arms. his pleas, his panic, his perplexion all meant nothing. deep, wounded sobs wracked the entirety of his body, while a foggy, almost drunken haze settled within raum.

her love had not been enough. the temporary high had settled into a residual no. her love had not been enough. it was never enough because it had not her love to have.

disappointment ushered through her veins. one of the stranger’s sobs had been particularly earth-shattering— not enough to draw attention from the empty expanse, but enough for raum’s eyes to flicker from the shadow that caressed her.

had she ever known that sense of loss? she had no way of knowing whether or not she’d been familiar with an unexpected loss. he’d now resorted to attempting to carry her body around the perimeter, searching for someone— anyone to restore his lost love. he paraded his lover around for a white flag— completely unaware that she’d was the most recent victim to the vice of envy. little had he known, but his pleas were no longer falling upon deaf ears.

raum, finally rising from the shadows, approached the pleading man, who now was on the floor attempting to resuscitate his love. it was not pity she felt in that moment. if she ever did feel pity, it was immediately replaced with something more rotten, and she could feel the envy bubble within her once more. she was tired, but not exhausted enough for one more acquisition.

she longed to feel the sense of loss he felt. the recognition that existed in his loss— one that was not present in her lack. though she’d lost her memories, it was difficult to mourn when being unable to pinpoint exactly what she wanted to mourn. how she longed for her sadness to be given direction. how she longed to have a specific entity to pour her grief into.

she drew closer to the man, lowering herself to his level, with his sobs eventually quieting as he met her gaze.

i can make it all go away.

he was silent for several minutes before turning back to raum with a face sullied by grief. he would accept her offer.

part of her wondered if he wholly understood what he was agreeing to. if he truly understood the entity that hummed before him.

a cold palm extended itself, meeting the outline of his chest, and moments later, he would collapse alongside his love, his heart now entirely in raum’s possession.

if only he understood that her love would have never been enough, she thinks as she wearily rises to her feet, beginning the trek back home, leaving the bodies to be discovered by someone unexpected.

samael would not believe her when she told him of the two hearts she’d stolen.

Extras |

(NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN / I’LL CRAWL HOME TO HER) » SAMAEL

in the beginning, there had been raum and raum alone. of course, there’d been lucifer, but she held little regard for her reviver. she had no intention of regarding him as her creator. even when being faced with the illegible chasm of her mind. there was purpose in the absence he continued to instill in her. if she could not remember a life before him— then that meant life was meaningless before him, for what use did she have of a life she knew nothing about? an intangible world that she only knew existed because of the lack it left her with— an emptiness she’d grown so familiar with. it was the void that never abandoned her; it was the absence she learned and grew to understand. it was lucifer’s omission that she could comprehend, far better than raum could even begin to understand another demon, with the shadows coming in a close second. and so, it was never raum and the demons, it was never raum and lucifer because she never belonged to them— not to him. that is why samael would become her fulcrum of time— why she conceptualized her existence as life before him and life with him. before samael, she recalls nothing— nothing of importance for that matter.

there were the angels, but they were not hers, heaven was not hers, and she’d arrived at no real solution in her pursuit. what she could not have quickly took a back burner to what she was able to acquire. freshly fallen, with an unmistakable sense of shared loss, it would still take raum several months before she eventually materialized as more than a shadow in samael’s vicinity. inquisitorial to an almost meddlesome degree, she had no way of knowing her scrutiny would warp into something more— into something entirely separate from her fixation with heaven. it was with samael that raum would come to understand what it meant to belong to another being. before him, raum only knew what it meant to covet the possessions of others, whether it be material goods, or a sense of wholeness she could not achieve. she knew how to conquer and consume, but not how to give— never how to belong.

she would joke about stealing his heart, or possibly an eye or two, and samael would remind her how fruitless this pursuit would be, a complete and utter waste of energy when he already belonged to her in his entirety. although, she was free to knock herself out, idiomatically and literally, as that would require a significant amount of her powers, causing an energy shift that made her tired to a humanlike degree. raum would roll her eyes in what had become routine between them, and her stubborn silence would become reminder enough that she belonged to him.

EVANGELINE » (HONEY, YOU'RE FAMILIAR, LIKE MY MIRROR YEARS AGO)

from eden did eve's aura rise, and in the crevices of raum's mind she would remain, sheathed in the carefully constructed shadows where memories once ventured. the universe offered her glimpses of something otherworldly— a being so splendid that raum could not comprehend them in her current condition. raum was first met with her divine fragments as she maneuvered through the dark pockets of the mortal realm. was it by chance that raum focused her sights on evangeline? or had their encounter been woven into the stars, as decreed by the cosmos? or was it because everyone who'd been in their way was now dead? no longer was lucifer or god there to regulate their memories for their selfish gains.

raum knew this— evangeline knew this too. something shared passed between them as their eyes joined. it took only a split second for her to decide against taking anything from her familiar. so much had been taken from them already; she could not bear to see evangeline parting with anything else. not before finding what she was in search of, at least. raum needed the mortal woman as whole as possible— if she wanted to stand a fighting chance at discovering who she really was— whether she’d really been eve. her eve. with each encounter that followed, the mutual ground seemed to increase tenfold. in evangeline, raum recognized a profound chasm; insatiable covetousness left in place of her memories. a desire for something that could not be acquired on a quick whim, something not satisfied with material or capital gain. what raum promised was identity. recognition. this is what she continued to make known to her, through their sporadic encounters— though raum was always cautious about the practiced amount of distance she set forth between them. it allowed her the upper hand, but patience and discipline had never been her strong suits. the more she comes across evangeline, the greater her fixation becomes— as does the urge to unearth what's been kept from her for all these centuries.

what could it possibly be that neither of us were meant to see? evangeline asks as raum's eyes drink in her bronze visage, reeling in her fascination to momentarily ponder a potential response for the mortal's question. i can't give you a specific reasoning unfortunately, raum utters as she frustratingly scans the fragments of her memories for the 1000th time. but why has always been fairly obvious to me. the knowledge we possessed posed a threat to their power structures. and two powerful men couldn't have that, now could they? a triumphant smirk coasts across raum's curious expression. nevermind them though. most kings get their heads cut off in due time.

pintrest: https://www.pinterest.com/BLACKISMS/r-a-u-m/

#accepted #accepted: raum

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biwenqing · 4 years ago

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So I’m ngl this very much a request for my newfound favorite rare-pair and if you don’t want to do it that’s more than okay. But Lan Xichen/Song Lan with #3 or #8 from the Drabble list?

Not really my ship (if only because I’m in such deep denial about the Yi City Arc) but a very sweet one, and I know the rare-pair struggles (mine is WN/NHS... I wish for content of them). I tried my best with a little pre-relationship piece! Thank you so much for the prompt, I hope you enjoy! <3

(send me characters and a prompt!)

When seclusion became too much, Lan Xichen decided it would be best to wander. He could see the understanding in Lan Wangji's eyes, but ever greater in Wei Wuxian's. Wei Wuxian had recently returned from his year-long journey, seeming lighter and bringing such joy to Lan Wangji.

This had Lan Xichen thinking that maybe traveling would do him good as well. He wasn't under any impression that he would find the joy in life Wei Wuxian had regained, but maybe he could find peace, closure. His mind hadn't been calm in so long and he longed for quiet in his own soul.

What Lan Xichen found was at least the hard work of travel and performing little night hunts was tiring, and he could fall into an exhausted sleep. He found it worked better than lying awake after a day meditating. Lan Xichen stayed away from the big towns and cities, finding the forest better to sleep in than being surrounded by people in a crowded inn.

It was one of those nights that he first met Song Lan. He knew something of the man's story, as they sat across the small shared fire and Song Lan scratched an introduction into the ground. In the morning, without exchanging a word, it seemed to be decided that they would travel on together.

The new pattern of Lan Xichen's days was easy to fall into. He'd find them night hunts, they'd fight side by side, and in the evening they'd sit in tired, but contented silence. It felt good to be doing something, to make a difference, even just a little one.

It helped chase away his mind gnawing on all the "should haves" that chased around it. But he still wasn't always able to keep them at bay.

Song Lan's hand on his shoulder woke Lan Xichen with a start. He sat up slowly, the darkness of his dream chased away by the early morning light and steady warmth of the other man's palm. Lan Xichen ran a sleeve over his face, brushing away the tears that had collected on his lashes like mountain dew.

He turned to see Song Lan write on the ground. [I know it hurts.]

Lan Xichen nodded, pulling his legs up against his chest. Song Lan settled beside him, an offer of comfort and a listening ear. “This isn’t what I wanted,” Lan Xichen murmured. "I wanted to keep people safe. But I feel like I've only ever done harm."

[We can't control the actions of others,] Song Lan wrote next, after brushing away his previous words. [We can only work every day to be better ourselves.]

Lan Xichen turned to look at his companion's face and was offered only sympathy. "Does it ever hurt less, do you think?"

Song Lan shook his head. [I think it gets easier to bear, the more kindness we are able to bring into the world.]

Lan Xichen found he could almost smile, for the first time in a very long time. The burden on his shoulders was still heavy...

[Kindness to yourself is just as important,] Song Lan added, seeming to know what Lan Xichen might think next.

Lan Xichen gave a laugh that he knew sounded broken. "That's the hardest thing to do."

[We can practice it together.]

"I'll remind you if you remind me?" Lan Xichen asked.

Song Lan nodded, a small smile at the corner of his mouth. [I would like that.]

#song lan #lan xichen #idk what their ship name is oop #my fic #thank you again for sending this in!#a talks #a answers

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dio-roga · 5 years ago

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After years of stalling, this is finally seeing the light of day and thank actual jesus for that. There’s more fic out there than you’d think for the best boys, but like all things, sturgeon's law’s in effect when it comes to quality (big time actually, around 35 fics on this list from a rough 350 in existence). I read them all so you don’t have to.

Higher rank the better (though obviously YMMV) and the rest should just be ordered by word count. I have a place in my heart for everything on this list so no matter where it is or what I say about it, trust me, if it’s here, I think it’s worth your time.

Will do my best to keep things up to date. I F5 tabs like you wouldn’t believe. Love you guys ❤

[SSS RANK] ABSOLUTE TOP SHELF

ego, opinion, art & commerce 24parts

We hopefully all know it, we certainly all love it. The canon-compliant, rock-band road-trip AU that’s destined to rule the entire ship one day; the cryde child of prophecy. Go in hard and this’ll take you away like nothing else. The only thing not absolutely perfect about this fic is (like the rest of us) you’ll have to wait for the ending. I know waiting sucks, but please don’t let it stop you bingeing this story right now. I am not exaggerating when I say it’s better than most published books you’ll ever read.

let your heart hold fast niente

Literally the best finished cryde fic ever written as of time of writing this. The boys have grown up. Clyde’s a writer, Craig’s distant, and familiar circumstances bring them crashing back together. The cast of characters are a complete joy, it’s fully drenched in canon, and sports an amazingly rich post-series lore with all manner of cute nods and easter eggs for fans of the show. Nothing short of a masterpiece. Written with such love. Treasure your first read of it.

[SS RANK] AMAZING READS GAURANTEED

Pulling Mussels SekritOMG

A divisive fic maybe, but a classic all the same. Get ready for a fresh take on normal fic conventions to be sure. Personally? I’d consider it top shelf, no question. But to others? They might end up absolutely hating it. A strange midlife odyssey wherein a fed-up, lonely Craig begrudgingly reconnects with an out-of-shape, stagnated Clyde. Memorable to say the least, packed to bursting with detail and personality; go in with the right mindset and its glorious set pieces with burn themselves into your memories. Possibly the fic I’ve re-read the most ever.

Darkness Falls Vampiracy

Do you like cute, gorgeously written things? Set during the three days of Stick of Truth, it tells the behind-the-scenes story of Craig’s growing infatuation with the Lord of Darkness. Everything about this is clever and charming and just generally heart-warming. Best read after playing the game for maximum enjoyment, feel smart and accomplished as you pick out all the references. This fic’s adorable and pure and can do no wrong.

Chicken Vampiracy

The gateway fic? Huge question mark? This story is cryde personified. Like the author distilled the ships very essence into this amazingly funny and light-hearted story about the boys playing the world’s most drawn out game of gay chicken. It’s impossible not to love this story, it’s perfect for what it is, and will leave you feeling happy by the end every time. What more could you want? Show this one to your friends and they’ll finally ‘get’ cryde.

the remains of our sky traiyadhvika

I’ll level with you fam, this story will emotionally cripple you, prepared or not. The writing is precise, sublime, and utterly heart-breaking. It tells the story of how Craig deals with the aftermath of Clyde’s death on Everest. Obviously a heavy topic, but I can tell you with complete confidence that this fic not only does the subject matter justice, but also manages to tell a story of love and hope despite it. Like Butters said, it’s a beautiful sadness. This fic had me obsessively researching mountains for weeks, and anything that can light that kind of fire in you is something special.

C & C, The Mystery Duo Darkyfoot

There is nothing in here but pure fluff, joy and happiness. This story will lighten your soul and brighten your heart. It tells the tale of the boys discovering a life-long obsession for hunting mysteries, and will resonate with anyone who’s ever held a strong passion in their lives (which is probably most of you, if you’re hunting down SP fics to read). The written equivalent of a warm blanket and a steaming hot mug of cocoa on a cold winter’s night.

[S RANK] THE REALLY GOOD STUFF

Equality Donkerblauw Fluweel

A good chill-out fic? Cataloguing a series of parties over the summer in which Clyde starts cozying up to Craig after much alcohol is consumed; and like a good drink, the fic mixes all its elements together nicely. It’s nothing ground breaking, but it’s got a super relaxing flow to it, and will brighten your mood by the end. It nails the party atmosphere, so if you’ve got no-where to go this Friday night, maybe pour yourself a little something and give this one a read.

Craig Likes Vanilla (Ice Cream) themuffintitan

The cuteness equivalent of porn. If you’ve got a list of cliché ‘aww’ scenarios, chances are they’ll play out in this fic. If hand holding and sharing an ice-cream make you melt (hahanotfunny) then this one’s definitely for you. For a fairly simple story about Craig and the squad visiting a waterpark, it’s remarkably detailed (check that word count fam), and has a killer summer atmosphere to boot. It certainly made me hit up a park last July. The writing does let it down in a few areas, but overall you’ll probably be too busy enjoying the ride to notice.

The Silent Lie Donkerblauw Fluweel

Guilty pleasure? Okay you caught me red-handed. This fic’s practically porn. Read all about how Clyde learns to surrender his heterosexuality as Craig massages away all his football injuries in the steamiest way possible. If I’m being totally honest? The story’s pretty obviously there to frame the smut, and writing can be a bit all over the place. But I can’t deny it just works. It’s hot AF. Come here for the sexies and you won’t leave disappointed. Read it after dark. ;)

Press Play flappySp00kster

Arguably unfinished, but the only thing missing is apparently a mostly superfluous epilogue. We’re in full AU territory here as Clyde hooks up with Craig on a dating app during a rough-patch with his long-time, and now ex, girlfriend. Your mileage may vary obviously as the story’s not canon compliant; however the boys behave like you’d imagine and the romance is nicely fleshed out and unique. Bonus points for a bit of kink in the sex scenes, which is rarer than you’d expect for this ship.

What Happened in 1637 pinkfloyd1770

One of the most strikingly unique stories out there; it’s essentially a flower shop AU in which Clyde embraces his Dutch heritage and sports and encyclopedic knowledge on tulip facts. Written in medias res during a seemingly long since established relationship with Craig, this fic merely offers a look into this unique take on the couple as they go about their lives. The detail is stunning, and you’ll find vivid mental pictures coming to life in every scene. If you can get past the fact Craig bottoms (let’s pretend he was feeling generous that evening) then you’ll certainly be charmed with this one. (1637 is the year the tulip bubble finally popped. In case you were wondering.)

Around My Head wendybirb

Are you looking for something that’s light and fluffy? Maybe you like reading Clyde’s inner monologue as he fumbles around high-key pining over his best friend? Perfect, sign yourself up to this fic; it’s a quick and easy read that’ll give you your daily dose of wholesomeness from one of my favorite authors. Nothing overly flashy or complicated here, just boys being cute and kissing.

hey there demons traiyadhvika

This spooky affair is thankfully a lot less of an emotional roller-coaster than it’s cousin ‘remains of our sky’, but that’s not to say it doesn’t grab you and refuse to let go. Have you ever wondered what Craig and Clyde would be like trying to host one of those dorky haunted house shows? Bonus points in that Craig can legitimately see ghosts? It’s a fresh concept that’ll really get your mind racing with the cutest hosts you could ask for. Kept me glued to my seat, ready to throw down if any bad spirits came between the best boys. Slept with the hall lights on for a couple nights ngl.

As Good a Reason as Any Vampiracy

The last of the sacred trinity that also includes Chicken and Darkness Falls, the only reason this fic isn’t ranked higher is because it’s also the authors shortest. Watching Clyde try anything and everything to spend more time with Craig is as endearing as it sounds, and the only thing that sucks is that it doesn’t overstay its welcome; when honestly, you’d like the fic to stay for dinner and spend the night. Quality everything. No joke made my heart flutter. Read it and know true happiness.

Kiss It Better dokidave

A one and done story of Craig trying to cheer Clyde up after a difficult day. This fic’s a nice double whammy if you’re looking for some hurt and comfort mixed in with some steamy sex scenes. It delivers exactly what is says on the box; don’t expect too much in the way of plot of development, but certainly feel free to gush over the sappy sweet character moments. A good pick-me-up fic if you’re having a lousy day.

Take a Chance (You Say It's Your Birthday) Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

So here we have Craig being drunk and vulnerable, while Clyde’s radiating raw sexuality as he dances for Craig’s camera. I’m usually all about Craig giving off that top energy, but the way this story frames (hahakillme) the whole dynamic is very soft and endearing; you can fully understand why Craig’s the one feeling thirsty this time around. This is a fic that really knows how to set a mood. Read it and feel like you’re being pampered.

You Make It Easier glowworm888

Pure comfort; Clyde’s feeling understandably miserable about the thought of growing up without his mom, and Craig’s doing his best to help Clyde cope. Wholesome dumb teenagers looking out for each other and low-key falling in love. I dare you not to feel all happy inside as Clyde slowly begins to feel better as Craig looks after him. Adorable throughout, the ending is very much them. Another good read for making a crappy day a better one.

Miss you x Vampiracy

A true hidden gem by one of the best authors in the whole fandom; we have here the best fic in which Clyde doesn’t even appear. The whole schoolyard gang give their two cents on Craig’s spiraling mental state as he tries desperately to justify a typo to Clyde during an obsessive summer-long texting marathon. Legitimately funny from start to finish, with buttery-smooth dialogue and a big soft ending that’ll have you grinning ear-to-ear for completely different reasons. Love it, cherish it, and dream of more. Vampiracy ̶ we’ll miss you x.

[A RANK] SHORT AND SWEET

Whatever Gets You Through The Night Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

There’s a lot of mixed feelings for me in this fic. A love-letter to Clyde and his parents, in which Craig gets caught up on the whole ‘love’ part of it, having trouble fully expressing himself due to some heavy personal baggage. The Donovan’s really shine in this story. Betsy’s alive and massively comforting, Roger’s family values personified, and Clyde’s being a sweetheart to end all sweethearts. It’s confronting, more than a little emotionally messy, but it’s none the less a story that’ll stay with you. Check the comments for a hidden stinger.

Some Dieting Donkerblauw Fluweel

Clyde’s self-image problems are the focus this time around, doing a commendable job pushing the ideas of healthy progress, properly looking after yourself and feeling comfortable letting others help out. It’s a good length for the story it is, and although the writing gets a little spotty in parts you’ll be unlikely take too much notice. Like Clyde, this one’s hearts in the right place.

If Time Could Stand Still WeCryde

I used to stumble across this story semi-regularly back in the day, wondering if I’d missed it before realizing we’d already been well acquainted. The amount of show rather than tell is fairly distracting, with the entire meat of the relationship relegated to backstory. There’s still something here though. Perhaps in the way it deals with long-distance relationships and just distance in general. Maybe the hopeless romantic in me resonates with the plight of two idiots with thousands of miles between them. See if it works for you?

The Edges of the Atmosphere Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

There should be some sort of law that states that confessions in cryde stories have to be some level of stupid or convoluted. These two are physically incapable of expressing such feelings to each other in any standard normie way. So enjoy some classic spaceman Craig tropes while Clyde juggles being cute and awkward like a pro. Trigger warning for some racy hand-holding action; we’re talking interlocking fingers here.

Standby Flier Cheesebirb (Hi Mark ;)

So upfront, this story isn’t even a romance quite honestly. It’s just a cute bromance sort of affair at most, in which the boys share a hotel room together while waiting on a flight back home. You could quite certainly interpret it as the start of something deeper, as the fic gladly provides hints to support it; however there’s nothing to see here apart from the two personalities bouncing off each other, and sometimes that’s enough. A memorable little story that might resonate that little bit extra if you’re a frequent traveler.

Bust and Boom Azul_Bleu

Clyde fumbling with the realization that he’s got the hots for Craig isn’t new ground, that’s about the only ‘downside’ I could give this story. What it does with this premise however is deliver some pitch-perfect characterizations, snappy pacing, a good variety of settings, and some surprisingly touching moments given its brevity. It’s also loaded with lines that stand up off the page and stick with you and those are always worth their weight in gold; the author really squeezes a lot out of the short word count.

Forts Can Be Fun wendybirb

In which little Craig builds a pillow fort and little Clyde is invited. It’s a soft story with some cute exchanges, if you’re looking for a more innocent kid-cryde vibe then this one can scratch the itch. Short and sweet by definition. Go read it and give yourself a little smile.

Ennui dsfgajkh

This simple story’s a real blink and you’ll miss it; detailing some introspective thoughts Clyde’s having about the monotony of small town life and his fascination with his much more interesting best friend. At nearly a decade old, this story pre-dates Pandemic, which solidified the usual stoic Craig tropes that came after so it’s an awesome little time capsule back to those days where apathetic Clyde and flamboyant Craig was as good a guess as any. There’s a line about skittles that makes it worth the ten minute read.

Neighbors Vampiracy

So remember that time that Vampiracy wrote one of the most realistic and precious depictions of little Craig and Clyde playing with toy trucks in the backyard, but then it got buried in the depths of tumblr? Try not to smile when Clyde beams over the prospect of making a new friend and being able to show off the hole he’s dug; I completely and utterly dare you. Bratty Craig is my spirit animal and I’d die for more adventures with him at the Donovan house. I’m such a sucker for cutesy pre-school fluff I swear; just like you will be when you’re done reading this.

Shine On How You Shine On Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

Real talk? I’m a sucker for all things Brokeback Mountain, and this fic’s just neatly slotting in Craig and Clyde as the cowboys sharing a rough and confusing night in a tent together. The story is exactly what you’d think if you’ve read the original, and it hits all the same thematic beats. Guilty pleasure alert in full here. If you’re in the mood for hearing Clyde Twist tense up as Craig Delmar spits on his hand behind him then I won’t judge if you don’t. I’d unironically read ten more chapters.

Two Weeks toddintops

Yeah-yeah I know I’m stretching the definition of fic with this one, it’s barely a half thousand words; but hey, better five hundred words that make you feel something than ten thousand that leave you feeling the same. A short, sharp dose of angst with some beautiful art accompanying, what have you got to lose? Something about Clyde’s smile, coupled with the bittersweet lines near the end has always managed to stay with me. Maybe it’ll strike a chord with you too.

UNFINISHED (BUT STILL GREAT)

Ask Craig obitotxt (Password is 12345)

Hop on board the angst express; with the last stop being yourself when you realize the story comes crashing off the rails and never hits the end. Is the fact this blog never reached a conclusion one of the great tragedies of our modern era? Yeah, kinda. Fact is, this is probably the only cryde-centric askblog-formatted story out there; and yeah, it’s hyperbolic at times, but goddamn if it doesn’t make you feel something. Packed to the brim with boys being boys, memorable moments and just so much heart, you’ll be pressing F (and F5) for days after you reach the final unfinished pages.

One More Year llexxii

And here’s a weird way to recommend something: you probably don’t want to read this one. It’s very long, it’s very dead, and it has a fairly submissive Craig coupled with a rather unlikable rendition of Clyde. So why’m I even talking about this, and really, I’ve not got much of an answer for you. Just that this fic, despite everything, has some consistently excellent writing. The flashback scenes to Craig and Clyde as young kids are total gems. There’s stuff to love here, and maybe it could have been something great; if nothing else, maybe check it out as an interesting look into the ships history.

Turn It Around, Get a Rewrite wendybirb

This one hurts, in just about every respect. Prepare for angst story wise as we follow along with the life and times of Craig, reconnecting with a clearly troubled yet desperately pining Clyde, who seems scared shitless about his dying claims to heterosexuality. I genuinely love this story. It’s raw and emotional and angry and sexy, it comes across messy and real and does an amazing job making you care about the boys while also showing their more frustrating attributes. I’m still holding out hope it’ll one day take its place with the greats, but until then, the hardest gut-punch is always that “unfinished” tag.

January White (Love Is a Stain) Dovakiin

Here we’ve got a different kind of tragedy. The usual formula is a promising author burning out after an amazing opening run, but here we’ve got a story that never even made it past the kickoff. It’s such a shame. The eponymous metaphor and the solemn tone throughout is honestly pretty captivating; I would love to see how this take on the characters would have played. Spare ten minutes from your day and give yourself something to reflect on with this abandoned beginning.

NOT FULL CRYDE, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH

ask MARSH and BROFLOVSKI jovishark

You know what? Fuck it. I’m putting this one here and no one can stop me. This ask blog is practically fandom required reading at this point, and I couldn’t in good conscience not mention it. Stan and Kyle answer your questions, the plotline reads like something from a CW show, and Craig and Clyde don’t even end up together. I love it genuinely. If you pressed me, this story might be what got me into the fandom; pressed me harder, it’s what got me into cryde (again ironic as cryde isn’t endgame here). Always worth a read or a re-read. Pretend Craig and Clyde sorted things out in college if you need to.

Brace Yourself skyline

Okay so it’s a style story, let’s get that elephant in the room well and truly pointed out from the outset. If it’s a deal breaker for you that cryde isn’t the focus, then move along, but I guarantee for those that stay, there’s a charmingly written cryde side-ship playing out in tandem to Stan’s quest to win over his super best friend. There’s a lot to love about this story, the writings sharp and surprisingly powerful at times, and the characters are a joy to watch. Watching the cryde story unfold from Stan’s POV is a unique experience that you won’t really find anywhere else.

Remove Before Flight skyline

So remember Brace Yourself from literally just one entry up? Okay, same concept, same author. This is a different timeline in which Kenny’s the lucky protagonist trying to win Kyle’s heart, but like before, you’re treated to an enjoyable cryde sub-plot playing on in the background of the K2 drama. The writing’s still on-point, the characters are still great; if you liked the authors other story (which I’d advise reading first), you’ll definitely enjoy this one too. It’s cute how Craig and Clyde always seem destined for each other in this universe.

#cryde #fanfic #clyde donovan #craig tucker #cryderecs #we should probs be friends if youve read them all #❤️

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