#ngl this is like a genuine fear of mine

[jelly-of-many-ships]

I genuinely hope I never learn about stuff like sherlock holmes & oscar wilde in english class cuz like there’s absolutely no way I would be even somewhat normal about it and I really don’t need an entire class knowing how much of a fucking nerd I am lmao

[direwolfrules]

EAH Glee AU

I do not have time right now to work on my actual writing- midterms are done so now we're just jumping right into final papers- but have an AU outline post.

Professor Pied Piper, taking inspiration from some of his best high school memories, gets Headmaster Grimm to reinstate the school glee club.

Meanwhile, Madame Baba Yaga fears the new activity will steal away talent from her prize cheer-hexing team, the Ever After High Cheerios (I can’t think of a good fairytale-ification for this, I will accept suggestions). To rectify this situation, she sends in three of her girls undercover with the goal of sabotaging the glee club.

Basically, Pied Piper is Will Schuester, Baba Yaga is Sue Sylvester, and chaos ensues.

Glee Club Members:

Apple White: She joined because 1) she's good at singing 2) she genuinely enjoys singing 3) her mom was in the Glee Club and led them to winning Nationals. I'd say she's the Rachel Berry or the Quinn Fabray, but I'm not gonna do that thing where I entirely change a character's personality to make them fit into the role of another character...for the students anyway. Look, Apple's got enough drama in her life, she doesn't need me making her crazy enough to send someone to a crack house out of jealousy.

Raven: Uh, in the books Headmaster Grimm won't let her take Muse-ic because it's not an evil class. Luckily, because of a bizarre loophole in the school guidelines for competitive teams, Headmaster Grimm can't ban her from Glee Club. Everyone say thank you Giles.

Daring: He joined because he was told it would give him extra credit for the serenading skills portion of Advanced Wooing. Also, Apple asked him to join because they didn't have enough boys in the club and Daring's been trained to never ignore a request from a damsel.

Dexter: He’s there cause Raven’s there? And also cause he is a genuinely great singer and unlike Daring needs the Advanced Wooing extra credit? Also, I just kinda want him there.

Darling: Her mom made her join. Queen Charming really said “I’m gonna take a page from Snow White’s book and live vicariously through you, offspring of mine”.

Briar: She really likes the idea of a team competition where she won’t put her teammates in danger if she falls asleep. Also, she checked the competition rulebook, as long as they don’t all leave the stage when she has a narcoleptic episode they won’t be disqualified.

Humphrey: Every Glee AU needs a white-boy-who raps and Ever After High has one already built-in in the form of Humphrey Dumpty.

Maddie: She’s there cause Raven’s there. It’s utterly hattastic!

Kitty: She’s there because she remembered her mom talking about how some of her fondest memories of high school revolves around messing with the glee club, and Kitty wants dearly to be like her mother.

Lizzie: We’re completing the Wonderland ensemble. Lizzie joins because she needs an extra curricular and the Invisible Tree Situation has gotten so out of hand they had to disband the croquet team. Great voice, ngl.

Justine: Not the strongest singer in the room, but she’s capable of choreographing numbers like nobody’s business.

Meeshell: Listen, canon’s pretending her singing in that webisode was something amazing. So like, we’re pretending now too.

Duchess: I picture her as a Sugar Motta-type character. Cannot sing, massive diva, but they gotta put up with her cause her family’s donating to the club budget.

Melody: Listen, it’s her dad’s club. She can’t just not join. She’s banking those supportive daughter points for a rainy day.

Lawrence Bonecrusher III: Listen, I just it'd be funny if Professor Piper says the ever-insane "You're all minorities, you're in the glee club" line and there's the one orc student in the school just sitting there with his eyebrow raised. He's also the Matt of this AU. For some reason never speaks when in a scene.

Faybelle: Captain of the Cheerios, totally not here as part of a scheme by Madame Yaga to DESTROY THE GLEE CLUB!!!!

Nah, but seriously, this whole AU was born of me going "What EAH character would say the iconic 'I'm a closeted lesbian and a judgemental bitch' line?" and her face popped into my mind.

[blubushie]

ngl i struggle heavily with writing the mercs because of how much the fandom influenced my perception of them. seeing people propagate their interpretation as the only correct one and dunking on other people's interpretations makes me especially insecure because what if I'M the one who is mischaracterizing the characters.

refreshing the source material doesn't help either because i don't trust my judgement and i still fear that everyone else is seeing something i'm not and their interpretation of canon is more correct than mine LMAO

This is a video game from 2007, mate. These characters have changed so much since their inception that people probably couldn't guess them if you took away foundational qualities from the comics, and the obvious. But if you add "Professional shooter who kills people for a living and has a strained relationship with his parents but a strict moral code" is Sniper, and any TF2 fan from 2007 would know that. If you add "Professional shooter who kills people for a living, has a strained relationship with his parents, a strict moral code, was born in an underwater country and shot into space to land on a neighbouring above-water country, died, was resurrected, immediately shot the guy who originally killed him" then that fan is gonna have a hard time guessing that you're still talking about Sniper.

These characters have changed a lot. Sniper alone in fandom eyes has gone from "hardarse rough Outback sexyman with abs to rival Paul Hogan" to "uwu tall softboy who's shy and scared of people and too timid to be an assassin" to "sadistic killer who gets his rocks off on tormenting his enemies with jars of his own piss" to "Just Some Bloke". The general fandom interpretation of him this year won't be the same next year, or the year after that—hell, it's not even static by month.

All this is to say that respectfully: this is a non-issue. This is a you problem (specifically that of your insecurity and likely fear of inferiority—you're afraid that being "wrong" about your characterisation makes you a lesser fanartist and a lesser fan, and therefore inferior to the "better" fans).

Never seen a fandom case of imposter syndrome, so that's a new one. Anyhow...

As long as you're not perpetuating harmful stereotypes (see: "Demo is lazy") then genuinely no one will care about what you say except if they like it. Write your headcanons, you'll be fine. At the worst someone will privately giggle about it to their mates on Discord about how incorrect you are, and you'll never see it, and no one will care the following day when they have to catch the bus for school the next morning.

Interpretation of canon means no one's really correct and no one's really wrong. It's interpretation. Do what you want forever—there's no rules here and no one is going to put you in fandom gaol if you go against the beliefs of the masses. Odds are people will like your hypotheses cuz at least they're something new and fresh.

[smileyoureoncamera]

Okay so I just finished the all of us villains duology (after postponing and then forgetting about it midway lmaooo) and it was definitely a favorite of mine! I'm going feral about it ngl. ANYWAY I think one of my favorite things is the character development of all parties. Apologies for not being able to spell

Isobel who was basically manipulated under the guise of family to participate in the tournament. Like think about it, even though she was part of the main family she really wasn't because of her parents divorce (I think my brain is fuzzy) and then once her BFF just yeets her as champion she forced into the limelight and then loses everything except the people who only care about her stays as champion aka her dad and his side of the family so she loses the ability to trust. And then the shit that happened with Alistair who she had to trust because of losing her ability to see magic and then he basically dropped her for his brother (same tho) and then having to relearn to trust and be trusted? Reid being the person to basically help her relearn to trust??? To help her figure who and what she really wants for herself and not based on what other people tell her???????

Briony who was raised to think that being a champion was an honor and not a death sentence who really thought that she could do good and then realized well fuck being a champion ain't it and tried to remedy that who sacrificed herself and who tried to be better her entire arc was genuinely one of my faves like and then the fact that she died in that room in the castle and no one will know exactly how it went down????? The what if will haunt them forever, she really was in a sense the first brick thrown ksbsjheisjkejejd

Finley mr.perfect I think him really branching himself off from those expectations was absolutely stunning and subtle. Like hold on he really gave me hs quarterback with cheerleader gf vibes who just went with his cookie cutter life??? But then discovers actually there's to life than that and I think that's great. Honestly my brain is blank with him rn but YEET I kinda wanted more interactions with him and the others

Gavin in particular is also a fave mostly because I love characters who pull themselves from the pit like he genuinely would have done whatever it takes to win and prevail simply because his family just immediately gave up on him and everyone else refused to help and I respect that something about a character refusing to let the odds win like the strength that takes is amazing and also his relationship with al was so good ngl like he genuinely hyperfixated on him and was like nah imma be the only one to kill him that's peak romance right there that slow burn enemies to lovers was PERFECT but also his relationship with hendery? I think they were really similar narrative wise, two people destined to die and didn't or in henderys case came back

Alistair WHOOOOOO BOY WHEN I SAY HE WAS FAVE BRUH I absolutely love his character, the angst! The trauma!!!! He is wrapped in grief and I am here for it. I love how when he was introduced it was basically as the big bad wolf and he was! The monster everyone feared and then Hendry dies and it's like ACTUALLY he is simply traumatized and it's beautiful. When Hendry dies it's basically revealed that it was just them against the world and when he looses that he just sinks into his grief and despair and then with isobel he kinda learns that he doesn't have to just bury himself like that and then it's revealed that the tournament can be broken and he finds some type of reprieve but when he realizes that he would loose hendery right after he immediately throws that idea away because he just lost then gained the one thing in the world that mattered and he isn't gonna lose it again and then the curse??? Be for real without it he would have impossible to defeat. He was determined to be the monster everyone said he was to keep the one thing he cared about and I fuck with shit. I also really liked how his relationship with Gavin essentially like lead to him? Processing his grief? The loss? Of hendery? And then if course hendery being the final nail in the coffin to tell him let go it's okay you will be ok. He was so important to me because he was sculpted as a monster then became a monster and then realized no I don't have to be, I'm not. Idk kshsisjksjs

Hendery my bbboooyyyyyyyy he deserved better but okay the set up for his play in Alistair being the champion like looking back at it it was foreshadowed so hard. I'm glad we got to see moments where yeah he's still a lowe like he grew up in that environment where he was expected to be a monster even if he was the 'softer' brother and getting revenge on what they did to him was expected and deserved but I also love how he was just as fierce. He was the light to Alistairs dark lol i think the focus of their sibling bond was my fave part because they grew up separated from society they didn't interact with other people their age and they knew that everyone hated them it was literally them against the world and then the family took that from them idk man I have thoughts. His fear of dying again and leaving. Like kshskjdjdjd he was definitely one of my favorite characters

Reids story being controlled by grief is PEAK he went through so much shit and decided actually imma fuck shit up and take yall down with me and that's so valid of him but I also really love how when he became a champion he realized that huh there's actually a chance. His character development in particular was one of my favorites I wish I could put my thoughts into words.

And don't even get me started on the tournament like I NEED TO KNOW THINGS like we have the vague stories of how the relics came to be but I wanna know the full details. What really started the tournament why it started WHO started it. It's implied that others tried to stop it I wanna know THEIR STORIES kskshiwhsiejsjs

[unmakingandincorporeality]

Spoilers for Scott Pilgrim takes off

So 13 years ago Scott Pilgrim (the film, and then, much more effectively, the comics) called out a bunch of really shitty traits of mine, and it was the catalyst for a lot of self work and personal growth—it said stuff I needed to hear in a way I was able to listen to, and it means a lot to me for that reason.

It was also really powerful to experience a piece of media that showed a protagonist who is simultaneously pathetic and aspirational. Like, ngl, I saw a lot of who I am and a lot of who I want to be in both Scott and Ramona. It felt good to admire them and aspire to their better qualities, while also wanting them to do better to prove to myself that I could be better, and seeing in their depictions the ways in which some of the things I aspired to be actually sucked and needed rethinking.

(that last bit didn't actually feel good tbh, some of those books made me sick to my stomach and it took a long time before I was ready to read them a second time.)

And the new series has so much more in it that I want to talk about. Like, how the whole vibe of the show captures how being in love and being loved back feels, because it's not just that the other person feels really cool, it's that they make you feel like you're awesome, that they make the whole world feel like an adventure.

But the thing that I'm really dying to talk to someone about right this very second is the last episode, the bit where even older Scott is talking about how he spent ten years like a monk training every day to master all sorts of skills and shit, and even older Ramona is just like "it sounds like you just didn't go outside for ten years"

Because that narrative, of cloistering yourself and doing monklike work every day to perfect your abilities, is so, so common, and it's so, so bullshit. But it's SO FUCKING EASY to use it to justify not getting out of your fucking room, which is something I've absolutely been doing lately.

Anyway. I'm glad a work that I love and that helped me grow a lot came back and immediately punched me in the face with more character flaws I ought to be working on, but still made me feel excited about being the kind of person I am. I think, more than the other versions did, "Takes Off" really nails the important nuance that Scott and Ramona aren't truly aspirational figures, but they also aren't bad guys. They're flawed people who often hurt other people with their emotional cowardice, but they're also genuinely cool and exciting and are worthy of love. That the best case scenario isn't that they stop being Scott Pilgrim or Ramona Flowers, it's that they start being better to the people they care about and who care about them.

Anyway I'm gonna go hide under a rock for fear of judgment from people on the Internet seeing me call Scott Pilgrim (the character) cool

[owchie-wowchie]

44, If you die I'm going to kill you, Made Inevitable.

hmmmm, I sorta struggled on this one ngl

Bright silver stars were sewn into the royal blue curtains surrounding the dark wooden stage. A large cracked stone mask was placed on the back wall, its black, abyss-like eyes staring out unnervingly. At least, it was unnerving to most souls; personally, Paul found it rather beautiful. At the current moment, Paul looked into those eyes as his hands danced over the ivory keys of the piano standing on this stage.

The spotlights above glinted on the black grand piano, streaks of blue coursing over it. He rested on the plush bench, sitting completely straight while soft music filled the air. A few hums left him here and there as he perfectly played a song he's never heard before in his life.

Loud footsteps hitting against the wood floor cut through the gentle music. Paul continued playing while Wiley strode across the stage and leaned against the piano. They pulled a bright green apple out of their jacket's pocket and took a bite out of it, juice dripping down his chin. Paul continued playing, creating a backdrop of sound during conversation.

"Out of all the theaters in all the dimensions, you just had to walk into mine," he said playfully, smiling.

Wiley swallowed their bite, facing away from Paul. "Do ya know what's comin' up?" they asked.

Paul shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't."

Wiley dragged their sleeve over their mouth, looking out at the rows of empty seats facing them. "It's my... anniversary," Their glittering green eyes looked far away. "Of when I stepped through that portal."

"Sounds fun," Paul commented, still playing.

Wiley paused for a beat. "Didn't feel like it back then." They ran a hand through their greasy hair. "I mean, I see the light now but," They chuckled humorlessly. "All those years ago, I felt like I was goin' insane."

Paul chuckled as well, harmonizing with the piano. "Yeah, I get that."

It seemed Wiley didn't hear Paul talking. "When I left my old life behind, I left... some folks." They sniffed the air harshly before pulling away from the piano side in the blink of an eye, darting over to the bench. Wiley shot out a hand and aggressively grabbed Paul's chin. They twisted his head to look up at them and Paul finally ceased his playing.

His eyes grew wide as Wiley leaned in close to his face. "Y'know why I spend so much time here?" Paul didn't dare so much as twitch, fearing that the slightest move would make Wiley move away. "Cause," They ran his free hand through his hair, Paul leaned into the touch. "I know you'd never leave." Wiley closed the small gap between their faces and pressed their lips on his, nails still digging into his chin. Pain rushed in Paul's stalling veins, pushing his blood around, allowing Paul to feel actual excitement.

They pulled back, grinning coyly, a goofily genuine smile on Paul. "If ya know what's good for ya, that is."

[late-tothe-party-07]

Rating TMA fears because I'm bored (rating based on how scared I'd be if actively forced to interact with them)

Starting off strong with "The Eye": 3/10

It's actually more of a favorite than a fear. I'm constantly trying to see ways I could implement a similar thing in my books

The Spiral: 6/10

I like this one a lot (cause Michael, and cool color pallet, and funky vibes) but the thought of not being able to tell if I'm losing my mind and time seems to slip through my fingers faster than ever is a bit disturbing ngl

The End: 5/10

Death is a pretty big anxiety of mine, but I cope by just not thinking about it. So even if I was faced with this fear, I'd just try very hard to pretend I wasnt

The Slaughter: 7/10

The insatiable and desolate numbness of everything being dead is more sad than scary, but if I was the one being killed then maybe it'd be more scary.

The Web: 9/10

I wholeheartedly, genuinely, despise feeling in any way, manipulated. So if faced with this, I think I would burn everything and laugh as I burned too.

The Desolation: 4/10

I like fire, even if it was lightless fire. It's just a little guy and also the wax lady Jon met was kinda cool sue me.

The Stranger: 9/10

I don't frick with that living doll type crap! And clowns! Frick those guys. Anything plastic needs to stay fricking dead

The Lonely: 4/10

Ik I would eventually lose my mind with no contact and thus, no reason to be socially acceptable at all, but for a while I'd be chilling. And if I get fog and a boat it's even better

The Vast: 1/10

Oh no! Endless grass! Whatever shall I do *lays down and sleeps* (also Simon Fairchild and I would get along immensely. I'm having tea with that dude and Idc if he kills me later)

The Buried: 6/10

Half of me would just fall asleep (I did it a lot as a kid. Squeeze in somewhere small and knock out) but the other half of me knows if I ever went caving, and pushed, and realized there was no way out.....

Yeah no. No thank you.

The Dark: 7/10

Loved loved loved the Blanket Episode, but I still need a nightlight and I got trauma that usually took place at night lmao. No shadow demons here. Nah.

The Corruption: 8/10

Ive gotten conditioned to not care about messes but if a single bug touches me I am respectfully skinning myself, throwing it in the wash, and dying.

The Flesh: 9/10

*gags* Nope. Cartilage and tendons and skin flapping off just- *gags*

The Hunt: 9/10

An insatiable mindless thing always chasing and nothing. Nothing. Will stop it? Horrifying. Thanks I hate it. The only thing I think will save me is me just laying down and accepting it because that would be no fun for whatever's chasing me

The Extinction: 10/10

I purposely avoid "End Times" posts of any kind cause in 2020 mom would talk nonstop about it, and I went into a paranoid spiral that led to several panic attacks, and I refused to go outside cause I thought people would round us up. So like The End, I usually just avoid thinking about it. Absolutely would not be able to handle lmao

[cascader]

Welcome baaaaack! 3 and 6 for the writers asks! :)

thank you Kelsey <333

3. what fic are you emotionally attached to

ngl I interpreted this as which fic that I've read, not written, until I saw you respond to my ask, so I'll answer it both ways! I'm a forever fan of sunshine in my eyes by monroeslittle. it's just stuck in my brain. maybe partially because I read it sort of randomly and during a years-long period when I wasn't involved in fandom, but mostly because it's absolutely gorgeous. so many unique dynamics — familial McGonagall, Lily, and Petunia; childhood through the war; still-magical Jily as childhood friends; etc — and such a heart-wrenching portrayal of growing up! it's the scenes from their childhood that have actually stuck with me most, but the teenage/adult jily is also genuinely amazing, and I'd recommend it to anyone in terms of my own writing, the one that's the most near and dear to me is something I've been working on since January! it's first thing I started since coming back into fandom, but I've been struggling with it a lot so it's in indefinite limbo. it's about fear, and what it does to you, and what it means (and doesn't mean) about you, and being a gryffindor. I wish I could articulate something else about it, but it's confusing me at the moment, and it's mostly random snippets and middle-of-the-night bullet points that look like a high school paper outline of mine more than anything else! but I love working through it!

6. what's the hardest part of the writing process for you?

having patience! once I have an idea and flesh it out into an outline, I lose steam and then tend to hop around onto other ideas, and then I get kind of frustrated with myself for not going "faster." even when I am in the flow of a fic and have time for writing (neither of which has been true for a while), I'm a pretty slow and easily distractible writer! and I get impatient with myself for that too. I'm working on reminding myself that there is no "deadline" on anything, and there's no reason to rush if that's not how I do my best work, especially for fics that are completely unpublished so far!

[maurenislife]

i hate tiktokers and mf lifestyle youtubers

now before i say anything im not hating

im not even really hating on what you think cause i dont wanna be or have a desire to be known for anything cause thats not even my mode or my goal in life and i dont idolize anything cause im not a sad 16 year old who yearns for a image that i liked and bookmarked on the internet ANYWHO ...

everybody thinks your a instant hater cause ur just jealous...... umm newsflash u fucking junkie whore, whats not meant for me isnt mine to have and whats not done for me i can do myself it takes nothing to get a few coins and prance around in a marble counter cosplay

trust.

Moving foward this whole brigade of wannabe lifestyle whores

they all immolating and channeling which i think is quite impressive down to the candance and lingo etc. its impressive :) all the copy and pasting they do is quite impressive to see, and ill sit with a popcorn bucket and vape to laugh at it all cause its a waste of time.

a long time ago i stopped being jealous of certain lifestyles and things cause once u can attain them or find a way, or figure out how the sausage is made its not that hard and that isnt impressive or even likeable in any sense

people are immulating at a high frequency and the universe can sense imposters and non believers who do not live in. their truth and go cower in fear and just simply conform one thing they will never know if nobody can smell it the universe can sense it even if nobody can see, universe sees, it feels, it calls out, it grasps you

Everybody wants to potray and cosplay a shitty portray aina but what u dont know is lets say even if u make it big, get the sponsorships, the trips reap the benefits of u raping your own life with cameras and tripods what is it all for? fuck money, fuck the gift. fuck the family feeding for just 45 seconds what are you gaining in spirit?

like what in your femmine spirit and the many who have died along the way for you to get here are you proud the answer might still be yes just to stick it to me or it might be genuinely yes cause you in turn think you are very much a success i mean thats what you have been showed and by scoreboard standards band 4 band u beat a bitch >

you didn't though lame you didn't, the inner work didn't completed and i honestly dont give a fuck if a bitch got a isn't for me of why i dont know her and im not in her household,

bitch with your content I AM IN YOUR HOUSE, I AM IN UR BRAIN, your constantly gagging up information every-time u take a bite into a stupid food u bought cause of your audience and everytime u gag up information when you say spend the day with me

we see inside your frame even if its all a act what does that inherently say about you???

You give us yourself and think we got no right to comment

okay enough of jealous prefacing and putting the condom on for yall

Wannabes

These women grew up being ridiculed or extremely loved theres no inbetween because both have the ultimate libido and desire to be seen and heard and viewed in a certain light to get illicit reactions out of other people... its odd ngl

i look at my tiktoks and its all been jokes i crack on me or stuff me and my friends did drunk and just goofing im not saying everybody gotta take that route i do appreciate lifestyle influncers who serve the purpose of showing us the viewer and cost breakdown of spas or vacations or maybe even a resturaunt or things i might wanna go do

like who am i to get mad at them for the sake of curiosity and further knowlege on a place i intend to visit i never been like dope case closed type shit

But if you a wannabe ..........................................................

its a waste of time and energy and your soul and we see it bleeding out for a "look at me mommy" like its sad.....

you can tell the want the mommy to compliment their outfit and the sister to ask where did you learn to do your makeup? and the auntie to ask where can i get that slice of pizza

they want the overall appeal of who is gonna ask me

who is gonna notice me and with each clip you see apart of them kinda just yelling out to the universe not only notice me but award me for being noticed and nobody is gonna do that not even 1 million viewers can set you free,

COPIER

you know the one philposhy thingy of the barnyard picture and like idk ill have to look this up but basically to break it down simply

theres a pic of a farmhouse and soon it gains popularity every mf wants to go and soon its like a disney w a giftshop its copied and copied till it loses its meaning idk look that shit up its a real philosphy and its deeper than what im saying but i ont got time for allat yo

bitches copy till they mf face turn blue and they want it to have the same effect the 1st one did

but the reality remains your immulation ends there

your cleaning the same marble counter like everybody else

taking the same pic on that goddamn boat like everbody else

wearing the same oufit bookmarked and tagged on pintrest like everybody else

its a waste..... why do we need 567,000 copies of the same bitch doing the same shit its lost its meaning besides "you did it"

like ................... no

and i dont wanna be different either and throw my hand in and see who can do it better cause why its so dumb

live ur life like ??? u gone spend ur 20s and 30s chasing after whats not yours ............... no thx

[leonmorinpriest]

Do you recommend dating apps for people who don’t have much dating experience? I imagine it’s nerve wrecking but I also know it’s hard to meet people organically these days

Ngl I fear I’m the worst person to ask for dating advice bc I’ve been not the best but I will share my opinion

I think it definitely does increase your chance to meet new people. I’ve met people off apps. However, with anything, I’d be a bit apprehensive about people. I started using apps again only because I can’t participate in hobbies that may allow me to meet people. However, I’m deleting the one app I’m using by the end of this week most likely.

Usually, people have told me that getting out and meeting people through hobbies you enjoy would be best but I know also that’s not feasible for everyone depending on how busy or even just approaching ppl it’s a bit overwhelming.

Anyhow, back to the app, people are gonna have a lot of options and it’s very likely the person you meet will probably be talking to others as well as yourself. Not every single interaction is going to result into anything and if you’re at it for awhile, it can be mentally taxing (in 2018/2019 I was frequently on these apps and it genuinely made me mentally exhausted).

All in all, it can be a helpful tool to kind of relieve anxiety with dating (which a friend of mine has used them for) as well as meet more people but also it has its cons of being just a toxic place at times or just emotionally exhausting if you’re hoping to find something solid.. not saying it isn’t possible but I feel like it’s better to go in with no expectations and an open mind tbh.. also be weary of people in general being deceitful

like I had someone LIE 20 years off their age akdkdk. Ofc everyone isn’t like that but also you gotta make sure you Google ppl before meeting for dates

So do I recommend … so/so…if you’re trying to get experience alone.. I would say go for it but if you’re hoping to find something specific I would say go for it but don’t keep expectations high just see where things go with it and if it’s too much, don’t put yourself through that

[ohtendril]

It's okay.

[slnnohan]

mmm not to get personal or sappy or whateva but even tho i post art for myself , etc, seeing nice tags on my miku is so so nice,,

[claudemblems]

Getting Mistaken for a Couple Pt. 2 | Headcanons

bim bam bop here's a part 2 for you all <333

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Childe

Ngl, the mistake kinda fuels his ego.

"Oh, did you get that impression by the way [Name] stares at me? I can't blame her, though. It's not often you find a Fatui Harbinger who's this handsome and capable."

All joking aside, he makes sure to clear the air and let the commenter know that you're just friends. Friends with a Harbinger. Should they ever try to threaten you, they'll have to go through him first :)

The threat is enough to make the person apologize and scurry away in fear. You chastise Childe for being too forward, but he says he just wants to make sure no one tries to hurt you. Who knows? They could be an enemy in disguise.

You do appreciate the thought at least, and you make sure to thank him for having your back. Being friends with a Harbinger does have its perks.

But you're not in this friendship so you have protection from the Fatui. You're friends with Childe because you like him for who he is. Though intimidating at times, he's charming, funny, and most important of all, fiercely loyal.

Pink dusts his cheeks when he recognizes the sincerity of your words. Maybe he's been around too many people who are scared of him or are just being friendly in order to rise up the ranks. So hearing someone genuinely say that they enjoy being close to him? It's a nice feeling.

It makes him think more about the relationship the two of you have, and how you might be the only person that can truly understand him. He already likes being your closest confidant, but if you were something more...well, he'd be the happiest man in all of Teyvat!

He needs time to figure out how to confess to you, or rather, he needs time to bolster up the courage. He's fought many battles, practically made a nation fall to its knees, but in all of these scenarios, he knew he'd come out victorious. Now he finds himself unsure. He can only hope that you'll accept his feelings. He'd love for you to become a part of his family.

His brothers and sisters have welcomed you in already. In fact, they've been prodding him for ages to finally make a move. Maybe it's about time he takes his siblings' advice...

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Diluc

Diluc promptly corrects the commenter on their mistake. He doesn't want to ignore it and have the whole of Mondstadt thinking he's in a relationship (word about the nation's most eligible bachelor spreads fast).

"[Name] and I are not a couple. She's simply a close friend of mine. We just often go on walks together to catch up when we've been too busy to meet."

Diluc makes sure to remain a gentleman as he clears up the misunderstanding, though. You might not be his lover, but he doesn't mind the mistake at all. It's flattering, in a way. But he personally doesn't think he's good enough for someone as wonderful as you.

"I apologize for getting you into this situation. Rumors about my relationship status are common occurrences. It's almost as if the whole of Mondstadt is eagerly awaiting for me to find someone...for some reason."

Don't even try to tell him that you wouldn't be good enough to be his lover anyways. He will list all the reasons about why you're the greatest person he's ever met, and if anyone deserves to be happy, it's you.

"If you have the time, I'd like to make it up to you. Would you allow me to treat you to dinner at the Winery? Ask for whatever you want. As I've told you before, if it is in my power, I will give it to you."

Please let him treat you, give you gifts, just let him do anything for you. Seeing that smile on your face always manages to make him smile, too. Your happiness is contagious. He'd say it's even more addicting than a good wine.

Anddd this is when he realizes that maybe his affections for you might go deeper than just a simple friendship.

"Please, allow me to escort you over to the Winery. I'll walk in front to take care of any monsters that might come our way." (But in actuality, he's only taking the lead in order to hide his reddened face).

He can handle formidable mitachurls and the Abyss order, but when it comes to matters involving you, it's going to take some time until he can finally reveal his feelings to you, though hopefully not while he's a flustered mess.

[cat3ch1sm]

ok. after looking deep within myself i figured it out. bestie i tried so hard to do a different topic but now i’m craving a part 2 😩. this time task force shows up scarred and scared cause duh. L is there at his desk thank God but oh? mystery girlfriend who’s first impression was an ✨interesting✨ one is lounging on the couch just there chilling maybe book reading (was gonna say candy crush but i remembered this was 2006 so i’m gonna shut up) and insert [and she looks at me and i look at him audio] cause now task force inner dialogue is “how the fuck did L achieve this” and can’t stop analyzing her because genuinely what the fuck 🥲. girlfriend sees the lack of work getting done and L is annoyed at their loud ass thinking thoughts so she allows them to have one question each (please feel free to come up with the questions i beg my creativity only takes me so far 🥲🥲) i do ask though for one of them (maybe matsuda??) asking the out of pocket question about el incident. surprisingly you can make this work sfw but if you can somehow find a way to fit the “n” then go right ahead. my thoughts are jumbled but i know you’ll find a way to make it a coherent story. i pay with infinite love and kisses 😌☝️❤️

🐢| gRR this took too long im so sorry bestie💔💔💔💔 here is ur story i hope u like it<33 ngl yn is a little arrogant LMFAO

🥝| link to part one <33

🌱|also this sucks pls forgive me pls

It had been around 36 hours since the incident with L- who still didn't seem to want to acknowledge that it happened to begin with. The task force members had shown up to headquarters once more, albeit rather cautiously this time- creeping in an almost nervous manner through the bulletproof doors, listening carefully and quietly for any out of the ordinary sounds. Even Matsuda refrained from his usual griping to make sure the coast was clear- neither of them wanted a repeat of the last time.

Luckily, the men's fears were eased when they finally got up the guts to enter the front room where L always was when they arrived- well, almost always. There, crouched in his swivel chair and holding his knees, sat L, peering at the group as if he'd been watching them for some time already.

"Hello- let's get down to business, shall we?" L greeted the group nonchalantly before turning to face the computer monitors spread along the surface of the desk. If he had any thoughts about the other day, he wasn't showing it- which the men had pretty much expected.

Light, seeming slightly on edge himself, nodded resolutely and stepped up to L's side. "Right. So we had just started to look into Yotsu-"

He cut himself off when he turned his head and saw you, sitting on the couch behind him and reading a book, paying absolutely no mind to your surroundings. L tilted his head strangely at Light before turning to follow his gaze, and your eyes lifted from the pages of your book to meet his before they locked with Light's.

The rest of the task force noticed you just after Light did- Matsuda gaping at you a little longer than was necessary. Too soon, they had recalled just who you were.

You let out a low, rueful chuckle under your breath- so they remembered you. Smiling some to yourself, you lifted your head to look at the task force members in turn.

"Hey."

Light cocked his head at you, an unreadable expression on his face, before facing L again. "You didn't tell us you'd invited a friend, Ryuzaki."

L's back was to you as he replied, tone flat. "Ah. Yes, that's Y/N; she'll be with us for the time being- mind that that isn't her real name. Y/N, this is Light Yagami."

Light nodded at you. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine," you answered automatically, no longer looking at anyone directly and focus returning to your book. For a little while after the somewhat "off" greeting, there was a few seconds of awkward silence before the others remembered to introduce themselves properly; various mumbled "hellos" came from the rest of the task force.

It was clear to you, and most definitely L, that the task force with the probable exception of Light behaved oddly around you, despite that all you were doing was reading. Both you and L knew it was more than likely the incident from the other day that prompted them to sort of tiptoe around you. Both you and L could read them like an open book- it was painfully obvious they were full of questions. While you weren't in the mood to pretend to want to speak with these men you didn't know, you felt even less like having them stare at you the entire day. And besides, it was only hurting them- besides Light and L, the men didn't really seem to be contributing much to the operation at the moment.

Feeling increasingly like you were being watched, you opened your mouth to say something- but L ended up beating you to it.

"Judging by your confused expressions, I'm assuming you all have questions about Y/N's presence."

Aizawa, eyeing you, seemed apologetic, but did not waver as he spoke. "It's just that this is a total stranger to us- there aren't a lot of people we can trust right now, Ryuzaki. It would just be nice if we had a little more information."

So they felt the same way about you that you did about them. Somehow, that was a little amusing.

"I have to agree with Aizawa," Soichiro added, sending a sideways look towards you from behind his glasses. "You may know her, but we don't. What purpose does she serve? Will she be here regularly? How close-"

Your annoyance growing, you had to cut in, now fully lifting your head to look directly at the task force members. "Hey- I'm right here, you know," you interrupted a little testily, making Soichiro, Aizawa, and Matsuda all turn to look at you. "Feel free to ask me these things at any time instead of talking to L- Ryuzaki like I'm not here."

You didn't get a verbal response in return; the men only regarding you with slight suspicion before glancing at each other and then L as if waiting for him to back them up. But L seemed uninterested in the issue, only lifting a hand to silence everyone, his eyes still focused intently on the monitors before him.

"Y/N is right," L mumbled in a low voice, a pale thumb in between his teeth. "If you want to know who she is, why don't you ask her yourself?"

You nodded, fixing each of the men with a pointed stare. "Yes- why don't we do that. Just to ease the tension." You set down your book on the sofa and straightened up, slipping your necklace with L's initial beneath your shirt. "You can each ask me one question- whatever you want. That way, you'll know I'm not hiding anything. However- try and keep your questions impersonal; there are things I'm unable to share with you."

Of course, the last remark was just for show. If you were asked anything you didn't want to answer, you'd simply lie. Perhaps then you'd get the men, mainly Soichiro and Aizawa, off your back- you weren't much fond of feeling like an outsider around someone you'd known for far longer than anyone in the task force. Besides, your ego was taking a couple of hits- and you couldn't have that.

There was a brief moment of silence as the others thought your offer over. But Soichiro, anxious to get back on task, lifted both of his hands in front of his face in a surrendering gesture. "No, no- there's no need for that. If Ryuzaki trusts you, then-"

"No, it's too late now. You've made your feelings towards me clear. I only want to see if I can change them." Smiling brightly, albeit insincerely, you placed your hands on your knees in a friendly position. "Since you're talking- why don't you go first?"

Soichiro blinked at you, surprised at your audacity, before asking his question. "Well, I suppose I'll start with the basics. Will you be working with us on the Kira investigation?"

You answered immediately; the quicker your answers, the less suspicion. "Doubt it- detective work is more L's department. However, I might contribute every now and then, and I'll certainly be popping in more than occasionally. Next?" you asked sweetly, turning your attention to Aizawa.

Aizawa had clearly been thinking about this from the very first time he'd seen you. "What's your relationship with Ryuzaki?"

"Good question," you affirmed, pursing your lips for a moment before replying. "I'm just a friend. Light?"

Light, seeming distracted, snapped his head away from the computer and turned to face you. "A question... hmm, I think I've got one. Do you have any thoughts on the Kira situation?"

You'd pretty much expected such a question from Light- you could basically tell what kind of person he was already. Of course, having L come to your bedroom and tell you about him every day did help with your analysis.

"I have mixed thoughts, I suppose," you replied honestly, propping your chin up on one hand. "On one hand, I'm not in favor of murder. On the other hand, crime rates have dropped quite drastically, and at least Japan is an overall safer place." You shrugged, holding Light's gaze for a second or two more before finally turning to Matsuda, who looked up, apparently startled. "Oh! Right, my turn... okay, I think I know exactly what I want to ask."

Wordlessly, you tilted your head at Matsuda- you didn't know that much about him, as L had never really brought him up, and you'd deduced that he simply hadn't cared to- which was likely because of Matsuda's clearly naive and rather clumsy demeanor. You figured he was less of an asset than a liability to the mostly work-oriented and orderly task force. Long story short, you weren't expecting any thought-provoking questions from him.

Nonetheless, you were very caught off guard when he asked casually, "Was that you we heard the other day? Upstairs before L came down?"

Shit.

Quickly feigning confusion, you squinted your eyes. "What do you mean?"

Matsuda dropped his gaze to the ground, his cheeks beginning to fade into a pale shade of pink as he put his hand behind his head sheepishly. "Well, it's just, a few days back we all came inside and sort of heard moa- strange sounds coming from upstairs? And then you came down once they stopped. It's just, uh, we were- I mean, I was- just a little curious."

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Aizawa cringe and Soichiro wince, while L continued to keep his back turned towards you. Light turned his head for a moment to glance curiously at Matsuda and then you before quickly averting his eyes.

How long had they all been thinking about that?

You took a deep breath, silently letting it out before smiling brightly and answering.

"I'm afraid that's a personal question."

[elliotl]

Hi Elliot <3

/rp /dsmp

He was out! He was actually out!

Dream was standing barefoot in the grass outside the Vault, taking in the rain and the night sky and freedom. Finally. Now he only had to find a place to stay, some food-

Techno interrupted his train of thought, gently shaking his arm

“You coming, nerd?”

“Coming were?”

Techno just smiled, gesturing to the rest of the Syndicate.

“Home.”

(Ngl I am surprised this isnt angst <333)

"Home?" Dream looked up at Techno confused. The blade looked at Dream with mischievous glint in his red eyes and smiled.

"Yeah I mean your old one kinda got damaged so you know people usually go and stay in a new one. I'm not letting go of my roommate," Technoblade joked and then smiled genuinely at the end, "A friend?" Dream scrunched up his nose and pulled Techno's cloak more close to his face so the fur would hide his face partially when he looked at the other three figures standing in the distance. He bit his lip and blinked his eyes to stop the tears from coming out. "Friend yes," Dream nodded and took Techno's arm. "Yoooo we win these," Techno spoke after Dream was helped up to mount the horse. "As always mate but not hurry up you two," Phil spoke, a hand on his circular hat. "They'll be out in no time looking for you. Dream come with me." Dream looked at Techno who was standing near his own horse. Going with Phil? Dream shook his head and told Techno no. Technoblade sighed and walked over to him. "Listen here roommate, we are going in groups? Phil can protect you better than I can at the moment," Techno glanced at his bloody leg to make his point. "I promise and you know my promises right?" "Okay," Dream uttered before he looked at Phil's smiling face. The horse was very patient to him. Dream being not familiar with one for a long time made him nervous as the being trotted towards the angel. "Come on mate," Phil spoke and then noticed Dream nervously glancing at the horse. "She is very patient don't worry. Ranboo learned horse riding on her and you know how clumsy that child is." Phil chuckled and Dream gave him a partial smile. Phil nodded at him and the duo started off. Dream glanced back ones to look at Techno and saw him with Ranboo and Niki who were recovering from crying and now were riding at a distant pace behind them. The terrain changed constantly as they had to take a long way home instead of the nether travel. Dream glanced at Phil's wing from time to time cause it twitched whenever Dream sighed or gasped. Like Phil was on alert, worry hidden behind his smiling wise face. "Thank you," Dream croaked and looked at Phil once before breaking the eye contact.

"Dream," Phil started and expected for the boy to look at him but Dream didnt. "Look that place was a hell hole. Fucking terrible thing okay. You dont need to thank me or anyone of us. We act on our beliefs." There was a moments pause and Dream looked at Phil who was watching back with a knowing gaze. "In a right way. Now, Dream, I want you to know what your beliefs are after all this. We will be with you whatever. Okay mate?" Dream nodded and they were silent for the rest of the ride. When the cold tundra came Dream did not shiver. He enjoyed every snowflake falling on his skin. He still remembers how the flakes would gather on his long lashes when he was out in the cold too long. Techno, Ranboo and Niki had joined them and now they were all going together. Dream smiled at Techno who just blinked in assurance and smiled. Dream was going to owe him for life. Not just because Techno had got them both out of the prison but because despite all of this shit, Techno had called him a friend. Cared for him the same way he had cared for Wilbur and Tommy. Dream smiled at Niki who waved at him and smiled kindly. She was the first one to touch him when he stepped out of the prison, wrapping him up in a cloak and convincing him to drink his regen pot even though he protested. The next moments were spent in silence as Dream was helped down from the horse by Techno and escorted in a cozy warm living room. Dream was alert under the curious eyes of Steve and only waved at him as the polar bear snorted and sat down staring at him. Niki had gone to put the horses in the stables, Phil went away to fetch the meds and Techno, Dream didnt know where Techno was so he started looking around panicked. "Hello," Dream turned around started to look at the half enderman and stumbled back to land on the sofa. Ranboo backed away looking panicked Dream and purple particles fluttered around them. "I'm sorry i didnt mean- I just wanted to give you tea." The boy finished shyly. Dream took the cup with shaky hands and stared at it. Ranboo was Tommy's friend. How? and why? "If it comforts you, Phil made it," Ranboo spoke and sat opposite to Dream, his tail flicking nervously. Dream took a sip, slight afraid to show that he didnt trust Ranboo completely. "So you liked that horse?" Ranboo asked not making an eye contact. "Yeah she was very fine," Dream spoke as honey soothed his throat.

"Yeah.. yeah she is mine.. i heard you liked horses so... I, I mean we got the finest for you..." Dream hummed and the awkward silence settled. Ranboo would glace at the scared man once in a while and every time the figure would pull the cloak closer. "I mean after you get better," Ranboo started and Dream looked up immediately fearing being thrown out after all this was over. "I mean after you get a little bit better... Will.. will you train with me, Dream?" Dream just stared at him as the question had took him off guard. He didnt know what Ranoo was planning. "I mean I have mob heads you know. I got them myself," Ranboo smiled a bit being proud. "It was scary but now i have many Cre.. skeleton heads and we could you know target practice." Dream looked at Techno who was silently watching unnoticed by Ranboo. "You know Techno teaches me and Niki and he is great at it. He praises but I know I am not as good at fighting yet so you can join us maybe? We can train together and then niki can bake us...." Ranboo went on while Dream heard all of it. "Okay," Dream smiled at him stopping the rambling. "I'll train with you."

[pomegranates-and-blood]

Madness, pt.2

Madness, pt.1

My Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader, Sigurd/Blaeja (mentioned, alluded?)

Summary: So, I wrote a sequel to Madness, I really don’t know what to put in this summary. This takes place in the expanse of a few months/year, but hopefully the pace of the time passing is clearish in the story ;)

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Mentions or allusions of death, mentions or allusions of abduction/kidnapping, mentions of (hypothetical) rape, and I don’t really know what else. Does blood kink count? Cause, subtle blood kink.

A/N: First of all I want to thank all of you for the amazing reception to Madness. I am so thankful, and so humbled you guys like my writing and this story. Really, thank you so much for your feedback, your kind words, and your support. Means the world.

Second of all, I’m sorry it took so long to get the sequel out. I wasn’t exactly planning one but ngl, I have fun writing these two, and I hope this doesn’t dissapoint. Love ya! <3

Putting up the act of being dragged a hysterical, frantic mess of a woman all the way from the docks to the King’s dungeons was not that difficult. You had kept the nervous energy within you ever since you accepted getting on that boat, and finding a release to it was…cathartic, in a way.

The King’s bodyguards that kept firm hands on your upper arms as they took you to the prison that will be your home for who-knows how long don’t push or shove you into the cell, making you wonder how many people are truly aware of this ruse.

The moment the door is closed, the moment you are safe behind the iron bars and away from the crown and its reach, you cannot help the laugh -hysterical, hoarse, crazy laugh- that leaves your lips, that breaks its way out of your lungs.

You are free.

You lay on that cell for so long you forget to keep track of the time, but small little laughs leave your lips every once in a while, as you lean on the tips of your feet to look out the small window, into the foreign sky.

Free.

You laugh again, shaking fingers enclosed around the iron bars, and you hear a shuffling sound behind you.

“These people say I’m crazy. I wonder what they’ll have to say for the Princess that laughs at her own imprisonment.” King Ivar states, squaring his shoulders and standing tall on the other side of that cage door.

You smile, “You did it. You promised, and you did it. You got me out of there.”

“I keep my promises,” He states, resolute, before continuing, “Any other woman would be terrified, not delighted, at being on a Viking’s cell.”

You shrug, “Maybe they are right, maybe I am crazy.”

The King considers you in silence, clear eyes piercing as they take you in, and after a few heartbeats, shakes his head minutely.

“No, not crazy.”

____

You have learned more and more of these Norsemen’s language, and in turn you’ve taught King Ivar more of your own -it didn’t surprise you when he ordered you to teach him, saying when he negotiated with Alfred he didn’t want some meddling translator-; and you’ve learned of their traditions, and their Gods, and their honor.

Heartless, Godless, nothing but barbarians; they used to say. But you’ve seen the mothers loving their children like any Christian would, the faithful honoring their strange Gods in their own way.

They know nothing but bloodthirst, they care for nothing, love nothing; that’s what the soldiers used to whisper to terrify the maidens. But these are a people alive like any other, and yes, they are cold and harsh and brutish, but if their King is anything to go by, they are as capable as humanity as any other.

If you believed their tales, which you never truly did, thanks to King Ecbert’s lessons; it would have all still crumbled to dust and lies before your eyes as you grew closer and closer to the man that ‘abducted’ you.

All their tales of cruelty and ruthlessness and bloodthirst, they are more than true, of course; but they forget to tell of the awkward gentleness with which he holds your hand and presses absent kisses to it; they forget to tell of the cautious vulnerability that shines in those pale eyes when the sun sets and it’s just the two of you and your secrets and your promises; they forget to tell of the shuddered breaths over your lips, the eyes that fluttered closed when you lean close enough, that fill you with warmth to your very core.

They forget many things. Hopefully, they forget to tell about you, too.

Let you be forgotten by those people that killed your mother; let you be forgotten by the God that never looked upon your family with none of his mercy; let you be forgotten by the boy you may have cared for but never loved, not like this.

You spent a fortnight -maybe?- in that cell. It didn’t surprise you, a believable claim that you willingly came with King Ivar to Scandinavia would mean the leverage to return you to Wessex would be null. What did surprise you, though, was that you were very often visited, almost every day, by the King.

He is a fascinating man, he was to you since that first moment. He never ceased to be, even now, after months of secrets and pried truths and reluctant vulnerability and him.

Shortly after, you were allowed more performative freedoms, and it didn’t cost you much to put up an act that slowly waned and disappeared that you feared, hated even, the heathens that took you captive.

You’ve seen the ashen faces of those who returned from battle against the Vikings, you’ve heard the tales of the women that trembled at the memory of the raiders, you’ve known of their fame ever since your mother was gifted her uncle’s head by one of these Norsemen.

It is not hard for you to imagine why a woman -a sane woman, maybe- would fear them. And so, the act is not hard, the ruse is not difficult.

And let them think the King broke you, let them think a poor maiden was stolen from her home, let them think you long to return to your home, let them think you feel nothing but cold. In the meantime, you will be free, and safe, and growing to love a King that gives you nothing but warmth.

____

“I want to learn how to fight.” You tell him one evening, as you watch the sun set over the distant waves, and hear the training warriors somewhere near the longhouse.

He hums at your words, lifting your hand and absently pressing a kiss to the back of it before he asks, “Why?”

You offer a shrug and a small smile as you retort dryly, “A Princess, alone and surrounded by savages, she should have some means of defending herself?”

The King offers a side smile at your jest, and it feels like a tiny victory. Always does. It always has, ever since the first time you saw him, you don’t even remember how long ago.

“I could let someone teach you.” He finally drawls out, slowly, meticulously.

You cannot mask your enthusiasm, you realize too late, “Really?”

“For a price.” He clarifies.

“I wouldn’t expect otherwise. What is your price, my King?”

But he shakes his head, “That secret is mine to keep for now,” Lifting his eyes to yours and knowing he won, King Ivar insists, “Do we have a deal?”

“Yes!” You say quickly, surprising even yourself.

“Are you su-…” The King starts, even as some strange softness teases at his expression. You realize that you have startled him, and somehow that makes the excitement bubbling in your chest greater.

“Yes!” You interrupt, biting your lip and offering a sheepish shrug in apology when he glares at you, “I’m sorry, but yes.”

“Sit down, no one is going to train you now.” He chastises, but you know his tells by now. And the gentle tug of his hand on yours to bring you closer again is not even needed for you to understand he wasn’t ready or willing for you to part form his embrace. You concede with a breathed laugh and a smile that you press against his own lips, and rest against his side with a sigh.

“Thank you.” You whisper, so quietly you barely hear yourself.

“Hm. You know, I never convinced myself you aren’t at least a bit crazy.” He muses, with what you know -but he’d deny to his grave- is a soft kiss pressed to the crown of your head.

____

“Fuck!” You gasp out, Ubbe’s sword a hair’s width away from your neck, “Shouldn’t there be…wooden swords, or something?”

“Don’t you trust me?” The Prince asks around a smile. You answer with widened eyes and pushing his sword away from your neck with your own.

“Not when you hold a blade to my neck, my Prince!”

The Viking laughs, genuine and young, and you find yourself smiling back. You both assume your positions again, even if you are certain you are one sneeze away from being gutted.

“Why did you want to learn anyways? Aren’t you West Saxons supposed to sue for peace instead?” Ubbe starts as he guides your arm through a motion to break out of a block.

“I am Mercian, but yes, we do prefer talking.” You answer, focused on following his indications.

“Then why learn to fight?” The Prince insists.

“I want to be able to defend myself.”

King Ivar calls your name from behind you, a greeting and a demand of your attention as he approaches you and his brother. You turn around, and he inserts himself into the conversation you were having with Ubbe,

“Defending yourself also includes not starting fights you cannot win.”

“Ladies don’t start fights.” You shoot back quickly, side smile on your lips.

You hear him snort a laugh and your smile widens.

“But you do,” Ivar says, just as you deviate with your sword Ubbe’s attempt to strike your leg. “For someone so…”

Pushing back against the other son of Ragnar, you interrupt him.

“Don’t say small.” You grit out as you turn around, fight on pause.

“Small,” He supplies anyways, emphatically. He looks maddeningly delighted when you furrow your nose in annoyance, “You surely seem to love starting fights.”

“If by ‘starting’ you mean not letting you get away with-…”

“Get away? You get the last word every time I e-…”

“Brother, Princess,” Ubbe calls out, eyeing you strangely before motioning with his head, “Training.”

You nod, getting your focus back into place, and try getting used to the unfamiliar weight of the shield in your hands as you face the bearded man again.

Ivar’s voice cuts into your thoughts again, and your concentration evaporates along with your patience.

“Why are you standing like he does? You are half his size, you can’t mimic him and expect good results.”

You face him with gritted teeth, “Well, if my teacher did something other than berating me I could-…”

“You asked for my help.”

“I…shut up,” You sentence, turning back to Ubbe and correcting your stance to something you feel grounded and able to move on. The older Prince looks at his brother, considering, and then takes the shield from you. You let go of it with ease, but still question, “My Prince?”

“He’s right. You are small.”

“Thank you.” You sentence dryly, and the other man chuckles in response.

“I mean we can’t have you fight like you would in the front lines. Instead, fight like you would in an ambush.”

You shrug, because you have no idea what he means, and let him guide you through the movements.

____

You know what he’s going to say before you even hear him.

“Again.”

“Everything hurts.” You groan as you sit up from the cold dirt.

“I don’t care,” Ivar is quick to retort, and you have a feeling he can sense you rolling your eyes, because a taunt is quick to follow, “You Saxons may stop when you are in pain, but Vikings don’t. Again.”

Gritting your teeth and letting one or two curses in your native language leave your lips, you stand up and lift the sword. Prince Hvitserk smiles, hands toying with his axe as she studies you for a moment.

For once, you attack first, slashing towards his side, but the wooden hilt of his axe stops the movement. Not hesitating, you pull back and try again, making the Viking take a couple of steps back.

He breaks the block with a twist of his weapon’s hilt, making your sword slide off and your balance weaken. The victory is his as he raises the great axe over his head with a yell, but you lift the sword, stopping him even as you are forced to grab the blade with your free hand to give more strength to the block.

Blood pours from between your fingers and sharp pain follows, but you keep your attention on Hvitserk and wait for the moment you see him decide to push instead of retreat and attacking again. When his strength focuses on his upper body, like he did to you many times before, you place your boot on his inner thigh and kick outwards.

The force of your kick sends you stumbling back, but you catch yourself. The Viking falls down in his back though, and with enthusiasm you hold the tip of your sword over him. Victory.

You allow yourself a small smile, and Hvitserk shoulders his great axe as he stands up, fight over.

“You are getting better, Princess.” He praises gruffly, and you thank him with a nod.

Whatever dignity you tried gaining with the composed gesture is blown by the way you cannot seem to stop the excited pitter-patter of your feet as you walk back to Ivar.

“Did you see?” You ask. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so wide, and you could swear a little bit of your enthusiasm gets to the King, who smiles at you somewhat softly.

“He went easy on you.”

“I know that.” You answer with a roll of your eyes.

“And you are bleeding everywhere.” Ivar points out, signaling with his head to your hand. Reminded of your wound, you bring up your fist but Ivar is quick to catch it in his own hand.

You open your palm to see a cut running down your palm and similar ones -although not as deep- in your fingers. Your eyes follow the trail of a thick drop of blood that slithers down the side of your hand to your wrist.

Apparently, Ivar’s eyes followed the same droplet, for he moves your hand to his mouth and quickly licks off the offending drop.

“Ivar!” You chastise, tugging softly at the braid at the back of his neck, stopping his tongue from continuing trailing maddeningly the skin at your bloodied hand. He laughs, his eyes darkened when he looks up at you, and you cannot deny the rush of heat that look sends through you.

“I like it when you call me that.” He says, side smile still bearing the mark of your blood. You have the errant, traitorous thought to kiss the stain of blood off his lips, and because you can, because there’s no shame in lust or love, you lean down and do exactly that.

The metallic taste of your own blood on his lips makes you wonder if you could convince him to forget there’s a kingdom past your bed if only for a few hours; steal him away so he can think, taste, or feel nothing but you, so you can think, taste, or feel nothing but him.

Instead, trying to gather your wits and keep your voice even, you answer, “It is your name.”

“But you also call me ‘my King’,” He says, hand still holding yours and moving it so that he can see the wound more clearly. You keep your eyes on his profile, and find yourself startled when he suddenly looks up at you, head cocked to the side. Thankfully he doesn’t notice your eyes tracing the shape of his lips, and instead asks, “And you don’t really mean that, do you?”

You huff a laugh, “You are King of Kattegat.”

“But am I your King?” Ivar insists, eyes narrowed.

“I…” You start, stopping yourself when you realize you have no quick answer to give. You are not Viking; but you also have sworn no fealty to no king or kingdom, not since the ruse of your ‘capture’ was started. Still, you give him his answer in a soft voice, “No.”

He seems almost pleased, his smile turning more sincere when he states, “Call me by my name from now on then.”

You agree with a nod, the only answer your lips give is a smile, before you lean to speak by his ear. You will never cease to be delighted at the wonder mixed with desire that darken his eyes whenever you remind him of how much you want him.

Turns out stealing a King is way easier than you thought. You needed only a whisper in his ear and a sway of your hips.

____

“You are getting better,” The King starts that night, and you turn your attention to him with a smile. The people have months ago stopped staring at the crazy Mercian Princess, and the whispers about how happy she looks even as a captive have quietened; and for the first time since your mother died you have felt safe and comfortable. King Ivar continues, “For a Saxon.”

“You could just compliment me, you know.” You offer with a side smile.

The King uses the hand he holds in his -he always does, he always finds a way to be touching you and your hands seems to be a preference of his- to tug you closer where you sit on the bench next to him, and it is with a breathy chuckle that you find yourself pressed against his side.

He considers you for a few moments, before leaning close to your ear and whispering, so low only you can hear,

“You are a maddening woman, you know that?” His fingers intertwine with yours before he continues, “A maddening, infuriating, crazy woman. The most beautiful and fascinating woman I’ve ever met. The woman I…”

His words die, because they always do. Even if they always do, even if he has never admitted anything, even if he has never said he cares for you, or loves you; your heart still skips a beat every time you dare hope he just might.

But because you’ve grown to know him, to understand, you do not feel pain anymore. You let yourself believe he loves you when you feel his hand reaching for you in the dead of night, as if to make sure you are still there; you let yourself believe he loves you when you are the last one to open your eyes after you make love and find his eyes on you, his expression that of wonder and peace, you let yourself believe many things.

And so, you give the answer to the words he hasn’t -can’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t- say,

“I love you.”

As always, as every time you tell him of your love since that first time, Ivar’s expression softens, his shoulders drop, as if you bring relief to a part of him you don’t notice is always on edge.

Because he has his tells, and he knows by now you know of them.

And when you tell him you love him and you are alone in the safety of his -your? You don’t remember sleeping anywhere else- room, his eyes close and his lips pull into the smallest of smiles, soft and content.

And when you tell him you love him in the great hall, like now, he drops the tension in his shoulders and claims your mouth, sealing the words against his own lips as if to prove they are real, they are true.

He has his tells, and they betray that even if he does not dare say the words, he does feel the same.

____

You wake up at an absence in your bed, and missing Ivar’s warmth you sit up. You find him sitting by one of the chairs near a window, his hand by his mouth and a furrow in his brow. His eyes are intent on a map of England he keeps on a nearby table, and you realize what kept him awake without needing to hear a word.

“Word from Winchester?” You ask, getting out from under the furs but only moving to the foot of the bed, where you sit with your legs underneath you.

“Mhm. Alfred demanded proof you are safe, and the letter you sent was enough. But, since you are safe, he asks now that you are returned to him. In exchange for Lindsey.”

“Lindsey? Ivar, that’s-…”

“It’ll allow me to take over half of Mercia, I know” He doesn’t seem thrilled at the idea, even if he showed you, you don’t know how many moons ago, that having free access to that region would give him a great advantage. “And Alfred knows too. He knows what you are worth.”

And so the reminder of what this deal entails -your return- falls on your stomach like a dead weight. Of course, of course show could you forget? A Princess stolen in exchange for a ransom to be paid by those who want her back, a while of freedom bought until the offer is made, and if the offer is enough, you’ll sail back to Alfred and need another way to get away from there. One King walks away with new lands, the other with a bride.

But you remember those days spent in Winchester, before he was King, before Blaeja was Sigurd’s wife, before you were his ‘prisoner’; and you remember him asking what if he didn’t wish to return you to Alfred.

You remember that, and you remember every day since; and so you hope, and taking a deep breath and steeling yourself for the response, you ask,

“What will you do?”

He considers you in silence, with cold, calculating eyes. But with a grunt, he throws something he was holding in his hand and takes his eyes away from yours. You startle, but say nothing. You don’t think there’s much -if anything- you can say.

Tension is written all over his form, and after a few calculated breaths, he meets your eyes again.

“Marry me.”

“What!?” You squeak. He calls you a mad woman then comes up with these ideas.

But Ivar settles with calm, with certainty, in his madness. Like when you’ve seen him plan an attack, you realize he has thought of the alternatives, the outcomes. And, like in strategy, like in chess, he has certainty in what the next move must be.

He stands, using the crutch to move closer to you and sits next to you on the bed. His hand runs through your hair and settles comfortably at the back of your neck.

“I took a Princess from him, but he won’t take a Queen from me.”

“W-What are you saying?”

“They won’t make Queen of Wessex and Mercia a woman that was made wife to a Viking, much less Queen of Kattegat.”

Your heart beats madly in your ears, you feel like one of those trapped rabbits you saw the hunters bring back. You only look back at him with a knot in your stomach and wide eyes.

“And Lindsey?”

“We’ll threaten to send you in pieces if he does not send those papers, if he doesn’t concede. When he does, we’ll announce we’re married. They’ll think I stole you away and forced you, but they won’t be able to take you away, since we’ll be husband and wife.”

“In the eyes of your Gods. It will be nothing but pagan nonsense to the church. They’ll annul it, claim I was raped and so I am still fit to marry Alfred.”

And in the blink of an eye you are back in that hidden room in Winchester’s palace, sneaking thanks to Blaeja and her Prince to meet with the man that promised to steal you away; exchanging ideas and hopes on how to make this work.

“We’ll marry before their God too.”

He says it certainly, with no hesitation. He truly thinks of it all, doesn’t he?

And you wish you could say yes, you wish you could accept and finally seal your future away from England’s hands. You truly do, but…

“No,” You whisper, feeling the tears threaten at your eyes. The moment the simple word leaves your lips, you have another man standing before you. Closed off, with an edge of cruel madness shining in his gaze. “I’ll find another way. I won’t marry you for a business deal.

With a snarl of anger making his nose furrow, his jaw tighten, the King lets you go. You stand on shaky legs and walk a few steps to where he used to sit, eyeing the map of the land that saw you be born.

The land that might see you die, if they give you no choice but to return.

But Ivar calls your name, and interrupts your dark thoughts. It is the uncertainty where before there was strategy, the vulnerability where before there was confidence, the softness where before there was steel; what makes you turn to him with a new kind of tension taking over your body.

“T-Then marry me because I love you.” He whispers, a twitch in his expression speaking of how unmoored he is, how uncomfortable with the confession, with the possibilities it opens before you. With the power it gives you.

It should thrill you, to know you hold power over him. He has held power over you for so long, he has had your love for so long, it is only fair you have his heart in exchange. But the fear you see shining in his pale eyes startles you, softens you, breaks you.

So you step closer, so close he can reach up with one rough hand and set his touch at your waist -he always finds a way to be touching you, he always does- and he does, his eyes following his hand before meeting your own again.

“This is madness.” You whisper, and his lips curve into a smile, because he understands, he knows.

And the answer leaves your lips as easily as your feet jumped into that ship, and you whisper your yes against hungry lips, forgetting there’s a world past the two of you.

____

So, that is it! Hope you liked it, and hope you didn’t mind the lil Persephone’s abduction imagery sprinkled about, I am way too invested in Greek mythology atm for it not to show in most of what I write lol.

Btw, Lindsey is a region in the Kingdom of Mercia, here’s a map in case you were curious :)

Would love to know what you think, and thank you so much for reading!