#ngl the shit that happened right when I came back took all the wind out of my sails

[meltedhorror]

I got too drunk and forgot to post everywhere else, but

Happy new years!

This year has been hell, and my only wish is for a better next one. One without sickness, one with better mental health, one of kinder people and better friends

My personal goal for next year is to finish more of my projects, actually make animations and stuff to put in my portfolio so it's not as bare bones

Looking forwards to what 2024 holds for us all ✨ Hopefully I'll also keep posting art here again

[jeoniius]

Next Life | kth (m)

☆ summary:  Although you and Taehyung didn’t believe in first and second lives, you both wished you’d find each other in the next life as you both looked at the sky that night.

☆ pairing: husband!tae x wife!reader

☆ genre: angst, smut.

☆ warning: sexual content, angst

☆ word count: 4k

☆a/n: Finally this is done. Thank you so much @jkiddingjeon for beta-ing the fic, it meant A LOT. I really love this fic and I hope you enjoy it too. ngl it's a pretty heartbreaking fic so get ready for some ANGST.

Love. Hate. 

It’s always adjacent to each other. Something that’s always there when the other is present. It also changes people. How it makes people go from loving someone and being best friends with someone to trying everything they can to pull them down, to take them out. 

You’d say you can relate to it. In more ways than one. You had seen your fair share of people going from loving them unconditionally to talking shit about them the next day. Divorce was one of them. All the promises and vows made of staying through health and sickness, through good and bad, thrown out of the window. 

You thought of it as one of the most heartbreaking things and now you were here. Doing the exact thing as you watched the clock tick by, thinking of ways and excuses to get you out of this marriage. This marriage that ended everything. It hadn’t always been like this. No, you were in love. You were so madly in love that if anyone had told you you’d stand in this place today you’d not believe it. 

You are still in love. So madly in love but the difference being you want it to end. Maybe that way you’d find each other again.

As time went by, you stood by the railing of your balcony. The bright light of the city shined underneath you as you thought Tomorrow would be it. The end of what once was seen as a beautiful love story by not only you but by many others. The final chapter.

Maybe love and hate stood adjacent to each other but you could never hate him. 

And so you stood there, taking it all in, you thought about where it went wrong.

7 months ago

“I can’t believe you think that!” you shouted, hands up in the air as you walked back into the apartment, him following you behind. 

“Well I wouldn’t if you kept your distance!” he said, raising his voice.

“Oh my god. One hug. It was one hug. And that too because he was leaving.” 

“It didn’t look like one,” he argued back. 

“Are you freaking kidding me right now? Nothing happened, you know that.” you said trying to calm yourself down. 

“Stop trying to argue with me all the fucking time.” he bit back. 

“Oh, I am arguing? You were the one who started it.” You took long strides towards him. 

“You were the one who accused his wife of cheating although you have no proof whatsoever” you gritted through your teeth as your finger poked his chest. 

He let out a loud groan as you run your hands through your hair. “You know what, Taehyung? You can stay here. I’m leaving.” and with that you grabbed your purse and keys and strode out the door, slamming it behind. 

Kim Taehyung. 

The love of your life. You met him in college. As cliché as it sounds, he was the heartthrob with his extremely good looks and his unbelievable flirting skills. You weren’t supposed to know him at all if you thought about it. 

Your college held its annual fest, and you were the head of the management. You had stumbled across him when he had come to drop off some supplies instead of his best friend. You got into a small quarrel when he commented on how you were the head of the management when you were only a freshman and questioned your ability to pull the entire thing off when it was only three days from the fest and not even one percent of anything was done.

You got into a bet with him as you made him promise you that he’d treat you to something of your choice if you pulled it off. Nevertheless, you pulled the entire thing off within the next two days, proving him wrong. As a promise, he treated you to something really expensive(of course you had picked it) and then swore to never question your ability.  

You started seeing more of him, with his surprise visits to your class (which usually ended up with girls surrounding you asking how you knew him) or him coming to your seat in the cafeteria just to give you some new juice he got for you. Sometimes he’d ask you to come to one of his basketball matches and then took you to dinner afterward. 

You felt your heartbeat increasing every time you saw him or heard his name in fact, and before you knew it, you were confessing to him, putting your heart on the line. 

The day you confessed, you ran out before he could even reply. Too scared to be rejected. But Taehyung did something you’d never expect. He brought you to an amusement park, took you to dinner, and then confessed to you with thousands of chocolate (literally). 

You both had your fair share of arguments and then makeup sex. Mind-blowing sex to be exact. 

Your relationship with Taehyung was built on trust. He’d be there waiting for you every time you came home late and vice versa. You’d be at all of his games. You’d go to every party, hang out with your friends.

Once he graduated, he’d wait to pick you up every day. Every day you’d go to your favorite café, with your friends, complete assignments and projects, argue about who won the last UNO game, girls vs boys. 

He spent every hour with you when you struggled with your dream job and you did the same. When you finally did get the job, he asked you to marry him. You nodded then and there. Tears escaped, phone calls were made. Everyone came to the engagement party and then the wedding and you truly thought everything you ever wanted was there. Your family, your friends, his friends, him. 

But what you didn’t know then was what followed after. Just like promises are made, they are broken. Trust is broken and the bond doesn’t stay. 

The first two years were bliss. You went to Paris for your honeymoon and then to New York. Yes, New York for your honeymoon. You experienced the love in Paris and the rush in New York. 

You spent most of the days in Paris, going to spots of attractions, enjoying the food in the café, walking around the streets drunk and completely in love, having late night sex, morning sex,  just lots of sex to be exact. 

But in New York, you spent your days going to Times Square, Bars, and Pubs had ‘the’ New York pizza and cheesecakes and hotdogs and whatnot. Went shopping and sightseeing. Roamed around the streets at night, met so many people.

You believed you had found what you had been looking for all your life. Someone to go to romantic dinners and the craziest parties with.  

But what followed was something you didn’t think would happen. Every marriage has its ups and downs. You had to. But then it started.

Every party would become an excuse to start arguments, every late night at work would lead to assumptions. At first, you thought it would be fine. Talking would help, it was always the key for the both of you but lately, every time you spoke or tried to solve the issues, it would end in huge fights, sometimes followed by sex, or even if not sex, you’d stop talking to each other and then one day pretend nothing happened. 

Although in heels you walked around the park near your apartment. ‘It will be fine’ you told yourself as you tried not to break down. Deciding it would not be a good idea to go anywhere at that hour, you sat by a bench.

The cold wind hit you as a shiver ran down your body, the thin wine slip dress doing nothing to stop it. The screen of your phone lit up as you saw multiple texts from Taehyung. A part of you was happy that he cared enough to text you. You clicked on his profile as a series of texts came up.

Tae: where are you?

Tae: come on Y/N, don’t be stupid. 

Tae: it’s really late. where the fuck are you?

Tae: baby, you’re scaring me. 

Sighing you got up and made your way out of the park. Since you lived in a complex, it didn’t take you too long to walk. As you opened the keys, you saw Taehyung pacing around the living room. “Where are my keys?” he muttered to himself, not noticing your presence. 

A clinking sound made Taehyung look up as the keys hit the ceramic bowl on the kitchen top. “Where were you?” he asked, trying to control his anger. You didn’t answer him as you took off the heels, internally sighing when the cold floor hit your barefoot. “Are you seriously gonna ignore me? I asked where the fuck were you?” he pulled you by your wrists stopping you from going further. “Don’t do this.” you gritted through your teeth as you harshly pulled away before going inside your shared bedroom. 

You slipped out of the dress and you got inside the shower, the hot water touching your skin as you stood there. No matter how much you tried not to think about it, you always went back. Where did it go wrong? 

You changed into shorts and one of Taehyung’s oversized shirts as it reached mid-thigh. Getting inside the covers, you relaxed, the cool sensation of your bedsheet and covers calming you somehow as you turned towards the glass wall. 

You heard a sigh as Taehyung got inside the room. He got inside the covers and stared at your back as you tried to keep calm. You felt an arm wrap around your waist as he pulled you closer, back colliding with his chest, nuzzling his face at the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” his voice came muffled as you felt the vibrations on your neck. 

“I really am.” he said, taking a deep breath pulling you closer if that was possible. You sighed, turning to him. 

“I felt really cheap, you know” you said, hands reaching to cup his face. “I’m so sorry baby.” he sighed, closing his eyes as you ran your hand through his hair. “I know.” 

He pressed a kiss on your lips as you pulled him closer, hands wrapping around his neck. You sighed into the kiss as his lips trailed down towards your collarbone, sucking and nipping then. Soon enough he was inside you as he went on an animalistic pace. “Do you think he can fuck you like this?” he growled. You ignored him as you knew you were close, focusing on your climax. You came within the next few minutes as he rubbed your clit while thrusting.

Later on, he lapped up the spilled contents lazily as you screamed his name, your cries stroking his ego.

He wrapped an arm around your naked waist as he fell asleep on his stomach, head on your chest, legs tangled over your naked ones. You stroked his hair as you stared at the ceiling, his words ringing in your ear ‘Do you think he can fuck you like this?’

A small realization crept inside your head. He was never gonna trust you.

He stirred in his sleep, pulling you closer, he pressed an open-mouth kiss above the swell of your breast in his sleep. Releasing a long sigh, you kissed his head, quickly pushing the thought aside. 

That was the first mistake. 

“I love you so much,” you said. 

You pulled the robe over your body tightly, a coffee cup in your hand. Picking up your phone you looked at the time. 3:08 am it read. The city still buzzed with life. The cold breeze hit your face soothingly as you closed your eyes. Only if you had done something before, things wouldn’t have gone wrong. 

4 months ago

Your phone buzzed as you frustratedly rubbed your face. You dreaded picking up the call, not wanting to have to shout again. Things had been gradually worsening between you and Taehyung. Late-night fights, coming home drunk, not talking to each other for weeks had become a common thing nowadays and no matter how hard you tried, no matter how many times you both tried to co-operate, you didn’t seem to escape it.

“You should talk to him.” Ae-ra said, handing you a cup of tea. 

Tea. 

You never liked tea. You were more of a coffee person. You preferred the rush, the adrenaline. But nowadays, you were tired. Tired of doing the same thing over and over again. Having the same quarrels and fights over and over again. Tea seemed to calm you. 

“And then what? Get into another fight?” 

“You know what I mean, babe.” She said as she rubbed your arm soothingly.

“Maybe later. I cannot deal with him now.” you sipped on the cup.

What you didn’t know was that “later” would come that fast. You went back to your apartment to get more of your clothes. You planned on going at night, when he was most probably out with his friends or whoever kept him busy nowadays. But to your surprise, he was there. 

You opened the main door, using the key you had with you to meet with his laying figure on the couch. His head shot up at the sound of the door, eyes meeting each other. He looked drained, hair messy and bags under his eyes. You cursed under your breath, debating if you should just go back to Ae-ra’s place and come later for your clothes. 

“Look who’s here.” he scoffed as he got up from the couch.

Deciding on the former, you walked past him without taking another glance, into your shared bedroom. Taking a bag out, you shoved as many clothes as possible wanting to stay away from this mess. “Are you gonna ignore me now?” you heard him as he entered the room. 

You zipped up the chain as you walked towards the door wanting to leave. He grabbed your hand before you could go any further. He felt so scared when he saw you packing your stuff, so much that it suffocated him. “Fucking answer me.” his voice raised as he stared at you. 

Taehyung’s eyes softened as he saw the dry tears on your cheeks and he wanted nothing more than to pull you close and never let go. To talk to you and tell you it would be fine, that you would figure it out together. 

As he saw your tired eyes, glossy as you tried to keep your composure, he wanted to kiss you so badly and keep you tucked away from every bad thing; ever, even himself if he was bad for you.

And maybe he would have done that. Hugged you and kissed you. Kept you in his arms if you didn’t start talking. 

“Leave me the fuck alone.” you pulled away harshly. “You know what? Yes, I am ignoring you and gladly will.” 

“What is wrong with you? You cannot just come and go like that.” he said, hands gesturing to your bag.

“I can and I will. You cannot stop me” you clarified.

“ Yes, I can. I am your husband for god’s sake.” a frustrated tone laced his words.

“Husband?” you scoffed. “When were you a good husband? Where did this go when I stayed up till dawn every day waiting for you?” 

“You know how hectic things have been at work.” he looked at you knowingly. 

“That doesn’t mean you’d stop spending time with me!” you yelled.

You knew you were being unreasonable. Things really were hectic at work for him. But you couldn’t help but feel lonely when you came home after a long day to an empty and cold apartment and then stayed up every day almost all night for your husband. You felt so neglected when he’d come home and go to sleep straight away without saying anything. 

All the doubts about your marriage slowly were coming true and you wanted nothing more than to prove it wrong. But talking about it led to arguments with Taehyung. So you decided to stay away from home, so that you didn’t have to think about it, to begin with. 

That was the second mistake. 

“You are going nowhere.” Taehyung took the bag from your hand and walked towards the bed. “You’ll stay at home.”

“Home?” a humorless chuckle left your throat. “I will go anywhere I want, but home.” 

“I mean it Y/N. Stop acting like a kid. Go wash up and come to bed.” he sighed. 

“I’m not staying” you concluded, ready to leave your stuff behind as you turned. 

You felt a pair of hands wrap around your waist as he stuffed his face in the junction of your neck and shoulder. A tear left your eyes, followed by streams, and for some reason, your heart broke, it felt like he was pulling you apart from inside. 

You felt his warm breath as he mumbled something. He pressed you towards him as you silently cried. 

Later that night, as he fucked you slowly, something different than his usual dominating aura, your heart ached, but you couldn’t pinpoint why. He kissed you ever so passionately, that you cried. 

Something told you that it would be over soon, so you hugged him as close as you could when he slept. You cried as he hugged you in his sleep like you would go away if he didn’t have you in his arms. 

“I love you so much,” he mumbled in his sleep.

That’s when you realized how bad the entire situation was. How bad you were for him just like he was for you. How bad this marriage was. 

And what followed after confirmed everything you ever doubted. 

2 months ago

“You think I didn’t see you?” you yelled. 

“What are you talking about?” he looked curious. 

“Oh sure, play the good guy, make me look bad, why don’t you?” you scoffed.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” he repeated. “How would you? You thought you were good enough to keep it away from me.” you said. His eyebrows crashed as he tried to understand. “I saw you with her. Maybe that’s why you were always late. You were too busy fucking her.” a bitterness stayed in your mouth. “Are you kidding me?” he said as he raked his fingers through his hair. 

“You are accusing me of cheating, Y/N? You?” he scoffed. “Don’t think I forgot about the party.” 

“Oh my god. You were never going to believe me, were you?” you looked at him with a glint in your eyes. 

“You are being paranoid Y/N,” he said calmly. 

“You know what? Maybe I will go to him. The guy you accused me of cheating. Maybe I will let him fuck me. Clear all your doubts and make it true!” you were screaming now. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said, voice so calm maybe you would have been scared if you were thinking straight. 

“Neither can I.” you said as you walked out of the house. 

The next day when you woke up, you felt bad for yelling at him. So you decided to go back and talk to him. And maybe you would have if fate didn’t have anything else planned. 

As you walked into the house, you saw a man sitting on your couch, Taehyung at his side as paper lay in front of him. The man looked at you briefly before turning back to Taehyung. “Thank you for coming on such short notice, Mr. Lee.” he said as he shook hands with the man. The man nodded. 

Before leaving, he looked at you, “See you in court.” 

You furrowed your brows before realization hit you. “Tae, what did he mean by that?” 

He kept quiet as he gathered the papers. “Baby, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” you tried again. Taehyung got up as he handed you the papers, then went to the bedroom. You stared at them as you couldn’t process anything. 

You cannot get divorced. You cannot live without him.  

You walked inside the room as you saw him looking out. “Tae, we can talk, right? You don’t mean this.” your voice shook. 

Walking up to him you wrapped your arms around his, face buried in his back as you mumbled “This is a joke, right?” 

You heard his sigh before he turned to you, eyes glossy. “We can’t keep doing this.”

“We won’t. We’ll figure it out. We don’t have to do this.” you went on. 

“Y/N-”

“No, no, you don’t understand. You are out of your mind. We can’t get divorced.”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot do this anymore.” he said,

You looked at him. “Why are you saying it as if it is all my fault?” 

“I don’t mean that.”

“You absolutely mean that. Your face says it all.” you gestured toward him. “Oh. You really are gonna do this?” you said as he rubbed his face. 

“Well, fuck you, Kim Taehyung. You can do whatever you want. You can blame me all you want but you and I both know the minute I walk out, you are going to regret this.” 

“You can keep going for my heart and put all this on me, but you will miss me to your bone the minute this is over.” you said as you stormed off. 

That night, you went back to Ae-ra’s place. You screamed at the sky pretending it was him while he stayed awake that night as he looked at the sky. “I’m so sorry Y/N. I love you so much” he said, tears freely falling.

It really was over. All your doubts came true. Your marriage ended. Maybe it was for the better. ‘You’re being paranoid’ he said. He was right. You became paranoid.

You wiped the single tear and looked at the sky, soft light spread across as the birds sang. 5:00 am

You picked out the attire you were going to wear to the court. Your phone buzzed as you picked it up. It was Ae-ra. It’s gonna be okay. You’ll get through it. she said.

You went to the court that day. You watched him as he entered the room, a black tux hugging his frame. He had become more buff than he was the last time you saw him two months ago. As he ran his fingers through his hair, his shoulder blades flexed. The same shoulder blades that had your nail marks reminding the night before from every morning you’ve spent together. You smiled at that memory. 

Soon the judge walked in and the process went on. 

At one point in your relationship with him, assuming was something you both picked up. Long gone was the trust which was the key in your relationship. Maybe it was for the better. You both were paranoid; assumptions feeding more into it. 

But what you both gradually became, was bad for each other. Not at the beginning of your relationship, but somewhere in the middle, it went out of hand. Maybe if you spoke to each other more, maybe if you hadn’t pushed your thoughts the first day it came, then maybe you wouldn’t be here. But everything happens for a reason. 

Kim Taehyung was the heartthrob of the campus. Kim Taehyung was the first person you confessed you loved. He was the first person who heard ‘I love you’ from you. He was your first love. 

As the saying goes, some people are in our lives, just to teach us a lesson. Good and Bad. Kim Taehyung was that for you. You were still in love with him. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and yours did. You loved him more than you did before. And so maybe letting him go was easy. You were bad for him and he was bad for you. But that didn’t stop you from loving him.

And that didn’t stop him from loving you as you sat at the courthouse, as he looked at your face when it was over, as he lay in his bed alone that night.

Maybe you weren’t meant to be. Or maybe you were, but you didn’t know-how. But it was fine. And maybe as time goes by, it would hurt less. 

Although you and Taehyung didn’t believe in first and second lives, you both wished you’d find each other in the next life as you both looked at the sky that night. 

taglist: @mwitsmejk​

[cdroloisms]

hey pspsps i found this thing n twitter and i cant get it out of my head,, so dreams escape right? and sapnap said that he'd be the one who'd take dreams last life rgiht? so imagine if he gets ant, bad and george and tells them "its the final manhunt" (:

im ngl the name of this on my document was “the final manhunt *offkey kazoo*” 

with that, have some good ol’ post-prison c!dream angst! probably not exactly what you asked for, but i hope you like it anyway :D 

tw: implied torture, abuse, dark portrayals of c!sam and c!quackity, suicide/suicide implications, panic attacks, emotional distress, emotional instability, death threats, violence, flashbacks, pandora’s vault/prison arc

When Dream escapes the prison, he is a frothing thing of spite and rage, one part human and ninety-nine parts determination simmered and condensed over high heat; there is anger and then there’s this, the fire that leaps to his eyes and the shaking shreds of a battered heart he holds close to his chest and refuses to let anyone close enough to see. He moves and the server moves with him, tugged along by his iron will and sweat-slick desperation, joining in the brilliant blue whirl of a diamond axe swung recklessly and slammed into the dirt, an aimless fury following each formless drive of the blade into grass and gravel. The air sings danger and the air sings wrong and every step closer brings a ringing scream of away away go away that dances like static electricity against their skin.

Puffy follows, cutlass strapped to her hip and hair tucked messily beneath the rim of her cornet as the group advances - someone had alerted over comms about seeing the escaped prisoner in this direction, and they’d all jumped forward in the hopes that the weeks-long manhunt could finally be ended. Sapnap leads the way, headband whipping behind him as he strides forward, jaw clenched in fierce determination; George brings up the rear, bow in hand, a full quiver of arrows strapped to his back. Puffy’s running alongside Sam, who has been strangely tight-lipped the entire time Dream has been gone, firm in his insistence that the prisoner be detained but saying little else - it’s something that she would pry at, usually, but her head is filled with half-formed regrets and fears and a bubbling undercurrent of anger she’s afraid will come loose if she opens her mouth, so she stays silent as they run ever forward.

Sapnap yells, and her head snaps up - there, in the tall grass of a plains biome lies a flash of orange that must be Dream. The hunters around her speed up and she strains to follow; the other three are clearly experienced, easily falling into step with each other as she scrambles to keep up. Dream’s head snaps over towards them and he begins to sprint, cutting a line through the yellow field as they race to follow. She’s not seen him since the prison break, has only heard the whispers- an orange clothed monster, all bones and skin and uncaged fury, a diamond axe heaved in his arms slamming against anything that comes too close. It’s hard to rationalize this untamed, unrefined dash to the unwavering calm that she had always associated with his style of fighting, his movements much more like the life-or-death escape of a hunted rabbit than any hunter’s dog. It’s hard to rationalize this Dream with the one she knows- but well, she’s gotten used to that.

It took her far too long to admit, but she’s come to realize that she doesn’t quite know Dream at all.

He leads them forward to the shorter grass and harsher dips and planes of a savannah, the sun beating down in slanting heat against the backs of their necks. The ground they’re standing on begins to shatter into steep cliffs and jagged mountains, rough edges of stone climbing into the sky all around them. Sapnap curses, shading his eyes against the sun.

“He’s going up there,” he says, and George sends arrows flying towards the orange dot blurring across the steep face of a nearby mountain. Sam grumbles as Puffy strains to catch sight of him, watching his scrambling movements up the cliff face to the top.

“Then we follow,” he says, pulling a stack of ender pearls from his inventory. “Each person take a few. We’re too close to lose him now.”

The climb is anything but pleasant, the sun right overhead and making sweat gather at her hairline and drip down her face. Even as a sheep hybrid, she struggles to keep pace with the other hunters as they race over thin paths of granite and clamber up near-vertical faces of stone with little problem, clearly practiced as they follow Dream without breaking their sprint. The rock gives way to dirt and tufts of short-shorn grass and Sapnap’s eyes flash.

“Be careful,” he says, looking straight at her. “He’s cornered - that’s when he does risky shit without thinking about the consequences. He knows you’re the least experienced here and there’s a good chance that he’s going to charge you. If that happens, hold your shield and just block. We’ll handle him from there.”

She swallows back the spark of indignation that rises at his words, a bitter scream that they only see her as a liability dying out as she reminds herself that these three had hunted Dream professionally before, had struggled even with two more at their sides. The caution is far from unwarranted.

“I understand.”

Sapnap nods tersely and looks to the other two with a hand movement that she doesn’t understand. The other two immediately start moving, Sam moving to the front, George nocking an arrow as he takes his place at the rear - they’re still shielding her, she realizes with a small spike of annoyance again, shaking her head and drawing her own cutlass as Sapnap leads the way for them to swing up onto the top of the mountain.

It takes her a moment to adjust; the wind, unhindered by the cliffs that had been shielding them seconds before, whips at her face and draws tears to her eyes, makes her hair fly wildly into her face. Through narrowed eyes, she watches as the figure on the other side of the mountaintop scrambles backwards, diamond axe braced in front of him as he backs to the opposite edge.

“Dream,” Sapnap calls, voice deadly calm. “You’re cornered. Stand down.”

Dream shakes his head, lips curling in a wordless snarl. The sound is desperate, almost inhuman, making Puffy’s hair stand on end. As her vision clears, she stops dead in her tracks despite herself - Dream looks awful. She’d expected him to look disheveled after his escape, hadn’t expected much comfort in his stay in the Vault, but the way he looks, now, hollow eyes and gaunt cheeks and skinny, shaking limbs that only barely seem to be able to hold up his weight, bandages covering every visible inch of skin, wrapped messily around his right arm as if done by one hand - she reaches forward unconsciously and Dream flinches back.

“Don’t-” his voice rasps, cracks, falls in on itself as he wets his lips to try and speak again. “Don’t come closer.”

“Prisoner,” Sam growls, stepping forward, and he turns those wild, fever-bright eyes towards the creeper hybrid, flailing backwards and knuckles white from the grip on his axe. His breathing visibly hitches, head whipping back and forth.

“Don’t come closer,” he hisses again, stepping back, and Puffy stills.

“Sam-” she grabs his sleeve. “Sam- don’t. He’s at the edge.”

Dream’s gaze swings to her, and her heart stutters at the uncaged, obvious fear raging in his eyes. He’s backed to the very back edge of the mountain they’re standing on, left foot halfway off, sending dirt skidding over and off of the cliff down down down to the ground hundreds of feet below. The three hunters stop, muscles tensed, and Dream bares his teeth at them but doesn’t back away further.

His shoulders sag as they stand, stagnant, each huddled on their own side of the mountaintop. His gaze is venomous, green eyes burning even in the glaring light of the sun, flicking warily between their faces as he holds the axe between them.

“So you came,” his voice is tight, a slight tremble pulling at the end despite his seeming bravado. “Here to finish the job, huh?”

Sapnap pulls back his shoulders. “I made a promise, Dream.”

Dream laughs, bitter. His left hand releases on the axe handle to come to his chest, grabbing at his right, looking almost like he’s trying to hold himself. His laughter tapers off into something weak and wrecked, and the sound makes Puffy’s heart clench uncomfortably in her chest.

“Figures you’d keep that one,” his head tips up, looking Sapnap in the eye. “What- did your fiance give up? The revive book not worth the effort anymore?”

Sapnap hisses. “Don’t bring Karl into this-”

“Karl?” Dream’s eyes flash, grip tightening on his upper arm. “No- what? Why-”

“Dream.” Sam’s voice is low, something dark buzzing behind his tone, “Don’t-”

Puffy interrupts him with a hand to his shoulder, stepping forward and freezing mid-step when Dream’s head whips to her, eyes widening and foot scraping against the edge of the cliff again.

“Sapnap, Sam, let him talk,” she levels her gaze at Dream, trying to pick out the emotions warring behind those brilliant green eyes. “Not Karl- you’re talking about Quackity then, right?”

Sam hisses, “Puffy, I don’t think this is a good idea-”

Dream laughs.

The sound is grating, awful, making her hands come to her ears. It rips through skin, wraps around bone, seeps into marrow - he’s laughing, axe disappearing into his inventory so he can clutch his face with both hands, the loose sleeves of his prison uniform falling to his elbows to reveal the bandages wrapping all the way up his forearms and disappearing further under the fabric. In front of her, Sapnap falters, grip on his sword loosening; George steps back, eyebrows wrinkled, bow lowering. Dream laughs like the world is ending, and some cold, hardened thing in her chest shatters at the sound.

“You know,” his hands claw at his hair, wrapping around the strands and pulling, “You know you know you know- you have to know. How-” He shakes his head, tugging at his hair harshly and making Puffy wince at the sight, “Don’t- don’t play stupid here.”

“Know what?” George reaches forward, hands empty, palms up like he’s approaching an injured dog. From the way Dream snaps at the sound, hackles raised and teeth bared, he might as well be one. “Dream, what are you talking about?”

Sapnap looks stricken, still, face clouded in a way that Puffy can’t decipher. “Q- don’t play your mind games here, Dream,” despite his words, he sounds uncertain. Puffy hasn’t seen Quackity around for a while, had thought that he was staying at Sapnap and Karl’s new place. From the way Sapnap’s eyes have darkened, it looks like she assumed wrong. “Quackity hasn’t even been around, what does he have to do with any of this?”

Dream shakes his head again, seemingly stuck in his own head, barely even responding to their words. “You know- you know you know you know- Sam knows- you-” His breath hitches, chest heaving, and Puffy blinks. He’s having a panic attack, a clinical, much more calm part of her says as Dream seems to collapse in on himself. “You know. You have to know he wouldn’t- nobody came if you didn’t know then why didn’t you come if you didn’t know then why did Sam let him in you know you know you know-”

“Sam?” George turns to Sam, hands curling into fists and then uncurling again and again, “Do you know what he’s talking about?”

Sam’s expression is unreadable, ignoring George as he looks back at Dream. “Prisoner,” and has he called him by his name, yet? “Come with us calmly and your punishment will be lightened. There’s nowhere to run. Give up.”

Dream keens, a high-pitched whine exiting his lungs, “I won’t- I won’t tell,” his voice cracks, tears clearly running down his cheeks, “I won’t tell you Quackity I won’t-”

“Sam,” Puffy turns to the hybrid. “I think you should go.”

“Puffy-”

“He’s having a panic attack, Sam. He’s hardly going to do anything.” She levels a glare at him, sheathing her cutlass at her side. “I’m perfectly capable of defending myself, and I’ve promised to help anyone having a mental health crisis on the server.” Something dark and traitorous whispers how she’d given up on Dream before, and she pushes it down.

“He’s a danger to everyone on the server.”

“Sam- he’s not fucking breathing right now on the edge of a cliff. He’s not a danger to anyone but himself.”

“She’s right, Sam,” Puffy’s head snaps to George. He’s looking at her, expression hidden behind his glasses, lips pressed together in a small frown. “Puffy, we’ll be waiting. You or Sapnap call if you need back-up.”

She nods tersely, watches as Sam gives in and follows George down the mountain, the hybrid’s red eyes still staring at Dream as he leaves. Sapnap seems distracted, hardly acknowledging their exchange with his eyes fixed on Dream’s crumpled form, emotions clearly warring over his face, and Puffy brushes past him to get to her patient- Dream.

“Dream,” she speaks, not moving forward when his shoulders seize. “Dream, I won’t move closer unless you want me to,” she enunciates the words clearly, watching his face for any flash of recognition or understanding. He shakes his head minutely at her words, arms trembling, but he doesn’t move closer to the edge. “Can you hear me?”

He nods jerkily, and she smooths the palms of her hands on her pants, trying to calm the race of her heart in her chest.

“Good, very good,” years of training, habit, flood her head, pushing away the buzzing unease and fear and tangled knot of dark feelings that linger every time she sees Dream’s face, “I need you to breathe for me, okay? We’re going to inhale for four- there you go,” she counts, watching the shuddering movement of his chest as he struggles to replicate her movements, “Very good, hold for four, there you go- you’ve got this-”

Slowly, painfully, the rattle of his lungs in his chest becomes something quieter, more manageable, no longer rising and falling in desperate arrhythmic wheezes that make her chest hurt in sympathy. She’s still kneeling there, hands palms-up when he looks up at her, eyes wide, a degree of lucidity having returned to them, and for a moment a flash of fear stabs through her heart.

She swallows it down, pulling forward every ounce of professionalism she can muster. “Dream,” she keeps her voice low and soft, biting her lip at the way he freezes, again, at the call of his name. “Dream, can you step away from the edge?”

His hands clutch at the line of grass and dirt that make up the sod overhang, knuckles white. His eyes keep staring in hers, wide and wet and green, and she shushes him softly under her breath.

“It’s ok, take your time,” she breathes, watching as his hand inches forward bit by bit, gaze still fixed on her face, “It’s okay, Duckling.”

She blinks, and there’s a whirl of orange flying towards her chest; Sapnap shouts behind her, and panic blooms in her head too quickly for her to pick out anything but a desperate little oh god I’m going to die-

The blow never comes.

Instead, she looks down, heart in her throat, at a sobbing, shaking lump pressed against her chest, head buried in the crook over her neck as dirty, tangled hair falls in waves over her shoulder. She freezes, watching as his shoulders shake, hands tangled in her shirt sleeve, barely able to hear the words he’s saying over his wails and her heart thudding in her ears.

“Please don’t bring me back,” he pleads, voice cracking, “Please- please I don’t wanna go back please tell Sapnap to make it quick please I can’t go through another Quackity visit please Puffy don’t let them send me back-”

“Dream-”

“I’ll- I won’t fight, I pr’mise, Sapnap can keep his promise it’s okay I won’t fight anymore I’m-” he keens, high-pitched and mangled, into her shoulder, “I’m so tired Puffy.”

“Duckling,”

“Don’ make me go back, please.”

Puffy pulls him back, presses her hand on his cheek, murmuring softly. And- maybe she shouldn’t be doing this, maybe Dream’s a danger just like Sam said, maybe she’ll come to regret helping him the same way she had before - but right now he’s in pain and he’s crying and he’s closer than he’s been in so, so long and all she can see is her duckling, hurting, her duckling, home.

“Dream,” she brushes her thumb against his cheek, smooths a lock of hair behind his ear. “What happened in there?”

And he begins to speak.

[couchpotatoaniki]

One Year ❣︎ Three: The Execution

Chapter Summary: Trying to cool off, you decided to spend the day by yourself. This couldn’t have gone any better for San’s plan.

Pairing: Mafia!San x Fem!Reader Genre: Mafia AU, fluff, angst, eventual smut, lotta crack and stupid shit ngl Chapter warnings: swearing, stalking, kidnapping Word count: 2.5k+ A 365 Days parody

Previous: Chapter Two For the rest of the series, click here

Speech in bold means they’re talking in Korean

Speech in italics is whatever the reader wants their native langue to be that’s not Korean or English

Speech without either means they’re talking in English

Buzzing came from your pocket, initially thinking your phone got a notification until it continuously vibrated. Yunho was calling you.

“Yo, where are you? Mingi told us what happened between you and Dom--and before you say anything, he’ll be having hell to pay, regardless of whether you approve or not.”

Chuckling, you sighed as you looked at your surroundings. “Fine by me. Do what you like to him.” Slowing down in front of a cute-looking coffee shop, you answered his first question...partially. “Just taking a stroll in the town.”

“Wanna be left alone?” You hummed as you entered the establishment, being hit with wafts of bakes goods. “Very well then. But we’re gonna hunt you down if you’re not back by midnight.”

“M’kay, Pops,” mumbling absent-mindedly while overlooking the menu on the screens above the counter.

You couldn’t see the gentle bitter smile on his face, knowing very well that you weren’t as stone-cold as the façade you masked yourself in. Had an idea that you just needed space. “Alright then. Look after yourself.”

“You too.”

Beeping over the line indicated to you that he had hung up. Shoving your phone back into your coat pocket, you let your feet carry you to the till, where a young teenager dressed in a pale blue polo shirt and evergreen apron on top greeted you with a nervous smile.

Must have been new, or had some sort of social anxiety, from the way they avoided your eyes and fidgeted with their hands. “U-Um, hello. Welcome... What would you like?” the taller kid practically whispered, but you caught on to their words.

Sending a soft, warming smile, you answered, “can I have a buttered croissant with a mango and passionfruit iced tea, please? Actually, would you mind adding a chocolate muffin to that too?”

Nodding, they tapped the till, pressing various buttons before saying, “that’ll be 6,500 won, please.”

Pulled out your wallet and paid the employee. As you sat down, waiting on your order, you began to reminisce from when you used to be that age too--then again, it was not hard at all since it wasn’t too long ago.

Seven years ago, you were only 16, enjoying life just before things took a turn you never expected and you were never the same air-headed, happy-go-lucky kid you once were.

All you needed at the time was someone who was kind, who gave you a breath from the onslaught you faced all around you. Mingi was probably the only reason you’re still alive.

Thinking about the old days did more damage to you than you’d like to believe, but almost seemed impossible with the Dominic situation.

Being betrayed again hurt like hell, and although he wasn’t as bad as what you had experienced, he still broke your trust. Trust you tried to rebuild after all you went through the last time.

Thoughts you spent so long trying to get rid of grew back like weeds of the concrete walls you put up five years ago.

And despite what you tried to convince yourself and Mingi, you actually really liked the guy.

“Here you go, miss,” the young employee mumbled as he placed a tray with your order on it. Almost everything was right, except that there was a vanilla and chocolate chip muffin instead of a complete chocolate one.

Oh well, a muffin’s a muffin.

“Thank you,” you grinned, handing the teenager a tip of 10,000 won.

Their eyes widened at your strange generosity before hesitantly taking the money you held out between your index and middle fingers.

Your lips wrapped around the straw as you took a sip of your ice-cold drink. Strong tones of mango, with a hint of passionfruit, slight sweetness from honey and faint tang of fresh lemon.

Iced tea was something you had grown to love over the past five years, first time being too bitter and flavourful for you. Then again, the events prior left a bad taste in your mouth. Seonghwa was the one who helped you, always getting you an iced tea every time he went to a nearby coffee shop.

Learned quite quickly that your tongue was sensitive to heat after being so concerned how you refused piping-hot meals he cooked for you often. Waited until it cooled a lot before digging in.

No doubt the four boys would do anything for you--Mingi the most out of the rest since you wouldn’t be where you are without him--but sometimes you needed to breathe by yourself. Enjoying the little things you like croissants and muffins rather than focussing on your soon-to-be ex boyfriend cheating on you for a reason that eludes you.

That’s how the rest of the day goes.

Aimlessly walking, window-shopping, sight-seeing. Nothing registered in your mind but it was better than something negative.

Your phone was on silent, growing cold in your pocket from the lack of heat being transferred from your hand. Even then, you doubt anyone (except Dominic) would be texting you since you told them you wanted peace.

Before you realised it, the sun crawled above your head and began to set in the horizon, a clash of beautiful blues, oranges, pinks, and purples hovering in the sky. Lampposts along the streets lit up and the sky grew dark, yet that didn’t stop the hustle and bustle.

Irritated by the noises of people, you turned to an alleyway which had significantly less lighting but also significantly less humans.

As you walked, you were deep in thought, not thinking much of your surroundings. Then the hairs on the back of your neck stood up and a chill ran down your spine.

Someone was following you.

You were about to turn around and defend yourself--and you had no worries that you would lose. But then bright LED headlights of a hidden black SUV had highlighted the hair of a rather short person who stood in front of it.

Shocking electric blue stands brushed against his porcelain-smooth skin from light wisps of wind passing by. The same colour hair you realised had been barely peeking in your peripheral since the airport.

Next to a man you had very briefly met on you birthday dinner while searching for the bathroom.

Exactly how long have they been following you?

Though you chided yourself for not noticing it sooner--despite all the excuses of being ‘on a holiday’--you found yourself pondering. You had never met those two funky-haired people before in your life, and you sure as hell made sure any dangerous people couldn’t find you (not without going through one of the other boys first) so who exactly were these people?

Perhaps you were like a bee, drunk on the honey in your tea, or maybe you wanted to get your mind off the situation, needing a thrill at the moment.

You felt the need to destroy something--or at least toy with it for a bit--and these cocky assholes seemed perfect.

Either way, you relaxed your muscles (only a little, as to not raise suspicion of the young man before you).

One foot stepped behind you as you kept your eyes trained on his coco ones, only to rip them away a moment when you turned to ‘run’. As expected, something else tried to stop you. Another black SUV with blinding lights swerved into the other end of the alleyway as you tried to leave.

You’d prided yourself on good acting, and it always seemed to pay off. Right now, to sell the part of a scared girl, you stumbled backwards--planning to fall of the cobblestone path, but only to be saved by something hard.

The mysterious man’s chest, his hands holding your arms as support.

“Sorry about this,” he whispered in your ear, covering your mouth with a chloroformed cloth. You didn’t really put up much of a fight (to your standards, anyway) and succumbed to the strong chemical.

At first you were floating in a sea of black, unable to connect with your senses. Slowly, after moments of nothingness, you could feel the world materialise around you.

Soft fabric was cushioned beneath you, cradling your body with warmth. Light began to seep through your closed eyelids as the gentle, sweet smell of sugared almonds filled your nose with every deep inhale. And finally, a headache that began to pound harder with every pulse.

Grunting, you pried your eyes open, immediately noticing what appeared to be a shower room in front of you. There were two shower heads on each side, with only pillars of soft light embedded into the tiled wall rather than a proper partition. To add to the lack of privacy, the only material separating the shower room and the eyes of the bed was simply a thin pane of sliding glass which hid absolutely nothing.

“What kinda perv decided to design this monstrosity?”

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you looked down on the bed you were lying in, thankfully still in the same cotton dress, phone no longer in its pockets. The mattress was significantly softer than the one at the hotel--yet another indicator that your kidnappers were rich.

On the tables dotted around the space were lilac candles. Most likely the culprit of the amazing scent in the room.

Your eyes then caught the daylight peeking through the curtains, enlightening the room in a soft apricot glow. “Fuck,” you muttered, remembering Yunho’s words in the previous call she had, “they’re gonna kill me for staying out.”

Pushing yourself off the illegally comfortable bed, you inched towards the only door you saw. Fingers wrapped around the cold metal handle and pushed down, finding it much to your surprise that it was actually unlocked. Pulled it open without hesitation, though making sure you peered out to see if there was anyone.

There wasn’t.

“Great security, guys,” you sighed, actually feeling disappointed in the lack of effort you had to put in while walking openly around. After all, it was the reason you let yourself be taken.

Then again, this could all be a trap.

Now that was exciting.

You let yourself become familiar with the surroundings upon one glance, noticing the obvious luxurious colour scheme of gold and cream that had your eyes rolling at the basic rich vibes it gave you.

Then you found your breath catching in your throat as you continued to explore, eyes frozen on a portrait hung up on a wall.

Though the fact that it was a portrait of you had initially shocked you, it wasn’t the defining feature that had your heart palpitating at a dangerous speed. Your hair was short again, a pixie cut, while you were sat on a beach that looked a lot like the one you visited in Santorini.

“Fuckin’ hell.”

In fact, the painting was an exact replica of you from five years ago, down to the clothing of ripped jeans and loose top you wore. You, from one of your darkest and lowest moments.

“Are you lost, babygirl?”

The same voice rang in your ears, repeating the only sentence you heard spill from his lips. When you turned around to confirm who it was, it was indeed the same man you saw.

The damn muscular guy, with pitch-black hair and a lock of platinum blonde brushing just above an eye.

The blood was rushing too fast, fear in your eyes no longer an act. Just who the fuck was this guy?

You took one step back, knees buckling instantly but before your brain could process it, the man had wrapped his arms around you, catching your body before hit the ground.

San could smell the delicate citrusy aroma wafting from your skin and he tried so hard to not bury his head in the crook of your neck, to kiss the area and whisper sweet nothings into your ear.

Taking advantage of your frozen state, he lifted you up and place you on a nearby armchair, one beside a fireplace since he felt you were too cold for comfort.

Only until he had a ice cube pressed against your lips, did you snap out of it. “You should have it. Maybe you had a bad reaction to the chloroform. Sorry about that, by the way.”

Head turning the other way, your guarded eyes stayed locked on him rather than your painting behind his form. “English.”

“Why? You spoke perfectly good Korean at the dinner two days ago,” he said, pressing the ice cube onto your mouth once more.

“Simply because I feel more comfortable with English,” you remarked, swatting away his hand. “And stop putting that on my mouth.”

Sighing, he dropped the cold, melting cube back in the glass of whiskey before putting a bit of distance between the two of you. He could feel himself getting angry, that you won’t trust him, that you won’t listen to him.

But could he blame you?

“I feel like explanations are in order,” you said, narrowing your eyes down on his figure, flickering firelight resting on him to make him seem even more good-looking, shadows casted to make each feature appear sharper. But that wasn’t what you were focused on.

You wanted to deduce this stranger by his body language.

Stood tall, maintaining good eye contact, showed that he was confident. Classic black suits--expensive by the look of the fabric--showed that he as rich. Tattoos littering the skin of his hand showed a bit of a bad-boy nature. And the aura he emitted was that of a leader.

Corner of your lips twitching, you realised who--or what--he might be. The boss of a fairly powerful crime syndicate.

San, on the other hand, couldn’t see what you were thinking as you looked at him. Did you think he was as hot as he did you? Fuck, he hoped so--clearly not understanding how a normal person would react in such a situation.

“Hello? Earth to whoever the hell you are?”

“If you want answers, you certainly won’t be getting them if you act like a brat.”

Scoffing, you tilted you head, eyes boring into him with a cold glaze coving them. Like a lifeless doll. “Then how do you suggest I act then? Hmm? After seeing that you’ve been stalking me for the last five years,” you nodded towards coloured canvas, growing more unsettled every time you looked at it.

“Fair point,” he said, taking a seat on the chair opposite you. “But you should know that I haven’t been doing that. Stalking you, I mean.”

“The fuck do you call that creepy-ass portrait, then?”

“I call it a precious memory.” San shifted his focus from your gaze to the flames lazily dancing on charred wooden embers. Tongue swiped over his lips before chuckling, almost bitterly. “Doubt you’ll believe me, but I’ll tell you anyway.”

Lips pursed, you sat quietly as you listened to his story.

☕︎ Tag list: @little-precious-baby​ , @sparklychangbin​​ ,

[katsuflossy]

Whatever It Takes

Pairing: Dabi x reader

WC: 2.3k

TW: Detailed parental abuse, detailed description of a mental episode, obscenities, mention of arranged marriage

A/n: ngl all of this is severely overdue but the recent chapter made my creative juices flow so here we are! Please enjoy💖

Taglist: @melanimed @mixfi @mythiccheroacademia @myhoodacademia @mypimpademia @ecao @strawberry-ice @plutropica @photosbyameil @lunabby010 @iiminibattlehero​ @sleepysheepkiara​

The air was crisp, dark, and cold, what one had expected for the autumn night. Only a few patrons roamed the streets in the twilight. Those that wander under the streetlight had their eyes crossed, mind buzzed, and hand full of one final drink due to being kicked out of the bars. The ladies of the kingdom stayed within the comfort of their homes. They laid around the compassion of their loves or their families, only knowing of the horrors of the outside through gossip. The most recent urban legend paced through the streets with a scowl fixed on his face. Azure eyes glowed danger through the darkness, never revealing the coat-clad scarred body until passing under the street lights. The drunks waddled out of Dabi’s way, feeling the rolls of anger off of him from a twenty-meter radius. For once, the fire quirk wielder ignored the low bastards, never smirking as they cowered in fear nor sparking their shoes afire, laughing as they tried to put them out. No, his mind was occupied, fist clenching and unclenching in the pocket of his coat. Thoughts of past and future overwrote each other in his brain, creating a void of black in his mind. His own psyche started to turn on him again, knowing what’s about to happen would risk many lives. However, Dabi cared only about two lives-- his own and yours.

Like God gave him a sign, he passed the alleyway of a sweet memory. Running away from authority was his regular schedule since the age of 11 but he was close to getting caught one day. Caught but cunning, Dabi held you, hostage, by the neck. The little blue flame from his finger close to searing the flesh of your cheek as he backed into the dark alleyway, away from the entire police force out front. He dragged you through numerous yards before you begged him to stop, hands on your knees as you gulped for air. Glowing eyes stared at the ruby necklace that swang from your neck, almost daring him to try to take it. The second his fingertips could graze the jewel you slapped him away, grip tight on the chain and a fire in your eyes.

“You could take anything from me—shit even the pads of my shoes if you want—but I don’t want you to take this. Here, I’m sure the ring will cost more.” You glided the ring off your hand before offering it to Dabi.

Confused couldn’t even describe Dabi’s thoughts at that moment. Are you really offering a lowlife scum precious jewels? With a smile on your face?

“Are you demented?” The tilt of your lips turned down into a scowl. A haughty hmph passed your nostrils as you looked away from the criminal.

“You were stealing from Greggley’s pawn shop. The same bastard that swindles townsfolk out of their money and rats out people to the police for a living. I’d pay to see that fear on his face again when you ran off with me and his pile of stolen goods. So here’s my payment.” Dabi cautiously took the sapphire ring from your palm. The situation was ironic, he seemed more fearful than you. Cyan eyes watched as the dust on your outfit disappeared by the pats and sweeps of your hands before jumping up. You stayed rocking from the heels of your feet to the soles, eyes waiting expectantly on the chilled man to say something. Instead, his eyes bored straight into yours, deadpanned as he occasionally averted his gaze from the entrance of the deep alley, then back to you. The shouts of police guards had left from long ago; the sounds of their frantic pace went far off into the distance. Yet, you remained in this cramped space with him.

It unnerved him to no end.

“Well, your highness, your mutts went the other way to look for you. You can scurry away now,” He questioned his words. Why is he letting you go so easily? You were a perfect hostage. Just by your yelp, he could have your father in his palms, an important piece to the league’s ultimate plan. The smile on your face didn’t ease his confusion at all. His eyes burned with irritation, upset by your cheerful demeanor.

“Oi, are you fucking braindead? I said scram,” Your face dropped, forming a pout before pulling into a smile again. Dabi felt his eye twitch as you began to chuckle. His hand igniting blue flames as he stepped towards you. You put your hands up into the chilly air.

“Woah now, I’m just saying I could be of more use, Mr. Criminal.” The heat dissipated from his hand. His eyes looked as cold as marbles but within his head, he roamed over the possibilities, how and why should he trust you. Dabi was never a gambler, always a mouse wary of traps but today, he felt lucky. The once fiery hand laid out before you, staples glinting in the dim lighting.

“Dabi,” his eyes roamed over your face, noticing the crinkles at the corner of your eyes never softening, the gleam in your eyes shining more than before. You were actually happy.

“You already know my last name but that’s unimportant right now. The name’s (Y/n).”

The memory cleared away like smoke, reminding Dabi of his mission now. His hand clenched around nothing, his fist tight to relieve the searing anger in his chest. He imagined burning Shigaraki over and over, enveloping in the heat of his wrath as punishment for putting him on this mission.

Red beady eyes looked at Dabi in nonchalance, ignoring the smoke rising from his scarred hand.

“We built our whole organization on this end goal. We are one step closer to annihilating these ‘heroes’ and you’re rejecting this offer? Over some little noble mole?” the insult adding more fuel to Dabi’s rage and fire. His flames barely reached Tomura before being engulfed into another dimension thanks to Kurogiri’s interference. Unrelenting glares fixed at each other. Even then Shigaraki continued.

“I’m not saying it again. Either you do your job and save your blue-blood or they die by our hands.”

His eye pulsed; an ache coiled around his nape to his temple. His own anger throbbed in his head and blindsided his mind. He could add Shigaraki to his body count but your life, to him, was paramount. He withdrew his fire, recollecting himself before shoving his hands into his pockets. He surveyed the room, eyes scanning all the league in disdain; the others avoided his intense gaze. The gravel crunched under his heavy boots as he stomped out of the hideout.

Shigaraki’s threats echoed through Dabi’s head, anger already swelling at the thought of his red eyes as Dabi reached the edge of your house. The whirls of wind carried his coat in their stream, pulling the fabric all about. The walls of dark stone contrasted the warm yellow lights of your not-so-humble but welcoming abode. Dabi only knew the layout of your room but whenever he’s in there, there were hardly any lights from behind your bedroom door, just the occasional shuffling of the maids.

He halted his thoughts, pressing his foot against a jutted brick before hopping on to another. His movements were smooth and familiar as if he had perfected this route. He sat on the window’s stony ledge, fingers rapting against its pane, staring into the night as he waited on you to open the window panel.

Meanwhile, you were balled up in a corner, fingernails creating welts on your skin. Still, the stinging pain didn’t distract you from the taste of iron in your mouth, the phantom feeling of blunt rings on your cheek. Your silent cries shook you to your core, sharp inhales forced your weeping to stop, only for them to return again. All crying ceased once you heard knocking on your window, the same three raps then two softer taps only known to two. A familiar rhythm, one that closely relates to the song you made the criminal danced to during one night at a pub. The precious memory was unable to soothe the paranoia of your mind right now. A hitch in your breath paused all noises in your little quarter. If you stopped breathing, maybe he’d think no one was home. You ultimately stopped breathing only for harsher rapping to strike against your window.

On shaky legs, you stood up, swiping off any trails of tears and snot from your face. The cold air greeting you swung open the window for Dabi, who immediately hopped into the warm comb. He barely skimmed over your appearance before asking.

“What the fuck happened to you?” His hand came up to your swollen cheek; an obvious insignia marked the skin. You didn’t flinch away, instead, you wet your lips, pressing more into his palm. His hands were chilly from the cold outside but the contact warmed your entire body.

“I can’t do it anymore, Dabi.” A broken whisper escaped your lungs. Tears bled through your closed eyes, wetting Dabi’s thumb as he swiped a lone one away. He stood still, billions of thoughts jumbling in his mind as you bawled into his chest. Should he do this? On this night? Your well-being and the league’s plan fought for his attention. Every thought of his mission drowned by the sight of the insignia on your face.

“(Y/n), what the fuck did he do to you?” His shirt crumpled within your hands as you contemplated telling him the truth.

Nobody expected your father, an honorary Knight-Captain, to abuse his only child. It took one loose-lipped servant to say that you were seeing a commoner man in the kingdom for him to wrap his hands around your throat. You remember your body flailing, the coldness of your cheeks as tears fell from your bulging eyes. He dropped you by your mother’s cold command. As you gulped for any type of air she told you to stand. Her patience grew thin quickly as she ripped you off of the ground, your legs nearly collapsing from the force. A shroud of care she put herself under, letting her adorned knuckles skim across your cheekbones as she talked about your fate. You're being shipped off to marry the highest knight family, the Todorokis. Enjirou, commander of the Kingsguard, sought after you for his son, Natsuo Todoroki, for months. Your inappropriate actions caused your arranged marriage to arrive quicker. Her veil lifted, and in an instant, she whipped her hand across your face, the blow smacking your staggering body to the side. Their eyes entertained at your cry. She fixed her rings as she declared your fate. House arrest until the Todorokis picked up their new toy. They left you on the ground, weeping until Dabi arrived.

Stammers and hiccups escaped your lips instead of comprehensible words. His shirt crumpled under the intensity of your grip. In that time, Dabi had gathered all the information needed. The look in his eyes was unreadable as he loosened your constriction on his clothes, fingers interlacing in between your shaky digits. A shadow cast over his face as he talked to you.

“(Y/n),” your eyes dull and lost, you were wrapped up in your own severed psyche. A finger on your chin, he guided you to meet his eyes.

“Let me fix this,” It wasn’t a duel, but warfare that unfolded in his headspace as he asked, begged for your permission. You barely felt yourself nod before seeing the flame reignited in Dabi’s eyes. The smile on his face grew like a wildfire, nearly meeting the staples under his eyes. He left your numb body with a soft peck and a willful promise before walking, for the first time, out your bedroom door. Muted footsteps sounded miles away even though he left the door wide open. When did you end up on the ground, scraped knees meeting the plush of your rug, though you did not feel it? The warmth of the room dissipated from the air, goosebumps rising along your skin. Your body could only focus on one sense at a time, tuning into the sounds around you. Though muffled, you could hear the guttural screaming coming from rooms away. The cries formed into pleas before morphing back into incomprehensibility. Whether your body was protecting you from further trauma or not, your audible sense shut off only to look at the smeared blood all over your rug. Your ears never picked up on your outcry, pushing your diaphragm, but Dabi’s did.

He sprinted back to your room immediately, leaving his fires to completely consume your parents and lick at the foundations of the walls. His black coat draped over your body before he lifted you into his arms. The hungry fire now satiated, he left the same way he entered but with now, with you within his arms.

He knows what he did wrong, rubbing salt into your traumatic wounds, but he had a mission to do. He held your trembling body closer to his lithe frame. The league finally made their first step to instigating chaos but that did not matter right now. Dashing through the alleyways, he took a look into your blank eyes, cast away into another realm. The sounds of the Knights fighting against your burning house faded as he ran. He rested his forehead against yours, eyes squeezing shut as he made another promise to you.

“No one will ever tear us apart. I don’t care if this whole place burns to the ground. Just know you are the only one that matters. It’ll just be me and you at the end. Whatever it takes to get there.”

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

The Universe Doesn’t Get to Take This - fic

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson Summary: “And they’re so important that you don’t come home to check on your recently un-amnesiac brother? And here, I thought I was your favorite.” A/N: A tiny fix-it to the end of Detective Comics 1033. This is a bit dark of Dick I know, but honestly as much as I love him, he does just as many shady and fucked up things as everyone else so, I can absolutely see him doing this, ngl. And because I know folks are gonna complain about it, while I absolutely and obviously see Duke in the Batfam, I don’t see him as a Batsib because last I knew of him, his parents are still 100% alive so it would be fucking bonkers for Bruce to literally adopt him. And also hella disrespectful? But I digress. Don’t come at me. 

~~

Bruce didn’t know how to deal with what he’d just heard.

Damian blamed himself for Alfred’s death. Believed it to be his fault so badly that he refused to listen to anyone around him. Refused to listen to anyone who loved him. Who knew the truth. Who knew that wasn’t the truth.

Damian was brilliant. How could he believe something so wrong?

Bruce wanted to argue his point. He wanted to grab Damian, maybe shake him until he saw the light. Beg him. Plead with him. It wasn’t his fault. It never was his fault. And that he loved him. Bruce loved him so much it hurt. And he knew he was messing it all up. Knew he didn’t say it enough. Show it enough. Knew Damian’s surety in this absurd falsehood was partially his fault. Mostly his fault.

(All his fault.)

But…he didn’t. He couldn’t. Damian was growing up, and they’d had this dance so many times.

(Too many times.)

He felt the weight of the badge in his utility belt, and silently pulled it out. Squeezed it in his hand.

Damian felt too tainted for this badge anymore. This honor. Bruce knew that. That’s why he’d run. That’s why he’d dramatically ripped it off and threw it to the ground. While it was still in rage and heartbreak, it was also in fear.

Because he felt he didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve to be Robin. Didn’t deserve to be by anyone’s side.

But he and Damian, they always danced in subtly. Could never say what they needed to. Always tiptoed around it. Used metaphors and hypotheticals instead.

Bruce squeezed the badge. Held it out between them.

“This is yours, son.”

You are good enough. You are good, period. You deserve this title, this honor, and so much more. Please come back and I will do everything I can to tell you. To show you. Please.

Damian glanced at it, but only for a moment, before dropping his gaze to his feet.

“No, father.” Damian sighed sadly, turning away, already reaching for the grapple on his hip. “It’s yours.”

He lifted his arm to the sky and aimed the gun. Bruce’s heart stuttered. What did he do here? Did he let Damian go? Did he grab him? Did he follow him?

“…Actually, you’re both wrong.” A groggy voice from behind them hummed. Bruce tensed, afraid Tommy had somehow already woken, already escaped. He balled his hands into fists and turned, just as Damian did.

Dick came hobbling out of the rooftop’s shadow.

“Robin’s mine.” Dick shot them a lopsided grin. “I just lend it out every so often.”

In his periphery, Bruce saw Damian’s arm drop. “…Grayson?”

“Yeah, yeah. Long time no see, right?” Dick snorted. “And you were just going to…what? Save the day, then fly away without even saying hello to me?”

Damian’s guilty eyes dropped again.

“How are you feeling?” Bruce interjected. “The drugs…”

“Damian gave us all the antidote, it’s filtering out fine.” Dick waved off. Cleared his throat and rubbed at it once. He never took his eyes off of Damian, though. Even seem annoyed that Bruce had interrupted him. “And just where do you think you’re going in such a hurry, kid?”

“I…I have things I’m working on.” Damian mumbled, stepping back, closer to the roof’s ledge. “Places I need to go.”

“And they’re so important that you don’t come home to check on your recently un-amnesiac brother?” Dick joked. “And here, I thought I was your favorite.”

“…I…I wasn’t aware, actually.” Damian admitted sheepishly. “I did not know you had recovered and were back in Gotham until Father told me on the way over here.”

“And you were still going to leave without seeing me? Rude.” Dick chuckled. “Good thing I’m good at recovering quickly, then, and was able to follow you out here.”

Damian didn’t respond to that. Kept his gaze away from the two men in front of him.

“Look, I know you’re not a hugger, but I…really freaking missed you, kid.” Dick smirked, but it was sad. He opened his arms wide, and Bruce took note of his slow sway. The drugs were still affecting him. “So can I please just have one?”

Dick stepped towards Damian, but Damian immediately jumped away.

“You…you shouldn’t want to do that.”

Dick frowned. “Why?”

“Because, as I just had to remind Father.” Damian countered. “I killed Alfred.”

Dick hesitated at that. Glanced to Bruce. It was Bruce’s turn to look down now.

“…I know you believe that, but I don’t.” Dick hummed quietly. “And even if it was true, I don’t care.”

Damian closed his eyes, balled his hands into fists.

“You know I don’t care about anything you’ve done. You know I’m going to love you, regardless. I told you that years ago.” He kept his arms out in front of him. “Now get your skinny little ass over here so I can hug my little brother.”

Damian’s fists silently trembled.

“I’m not asking.” Dick explained. “And if you try and run, I will chase you. I’m not leaving you alone until I get my welcome home hug.”

“I don’t deserve it.” Damian whispered.

“But I do.” Dick replied, letting his smile return. “After the shit year I just had, I deserve to see my little brother, at least once. Don’t you think?”

Damian pressed his lips tightly together, but suddenly, to Bruce’s surprise, acquiesced. Stomped forward until he was in Dick’s space and engulfed in Nightwing’s arms. Returned the hug and seemed to squeeze Dick as hard as he could.

“Careful.” Dick grunted with a laugh and sluggish waver. After he regained his balance, he slowly began lowering into a crouch. He released one arm from around Damian to grab at his lower back, like it was in pain. “I’ve still got some of Hush’s stupid drug in here, kiddo. So I’m not the steadiest still.”

“Sorry.” Damian breathed. Bruce wasn’t sure, couldn’t see his face, but Damian’s voice sounded watery. Tearful. “I’m so sorry, Grayson.”

He wasn’t just apologizing for Dick’s balance, they all knew that instantly.

“Don’t be.” Dick murmured into his hair. Suddenly, he glanced seriously up at Bruce. “Because I’m not.”

Before Damian or Bruce could question him, the hand Dick had at his tailbone swung back around, something glinting between his fingers. Bruce only recognized it as a needle as Dick plunged it into the back of Damian’s neck.

“What the…!” Damian tried to pull away, but Dick didn’t let him. Kept Damian’s face tight to his throat as he pushed the syringe’s contents into Damian’s system, then dropped the needle and held Damian in both arms as the boy struggled. “Grayson, what did you…!”

Bruce stepped forward, but when Dick looked up at him again, it was with a furious glare.

“…What the hell did you just do?” Bruce demanded, as Damian’s movements suddenly started to become sluggish, lazy, his fiery curses slurred. Dick just shifted a hand to hold the back of Damian’s head protectively.

“A sedative.” Dick said simply. He waited calmly, never letting up his grip, not even when Damian went limp against him. “I’m bringing him home.”

Dick’s back was never in pain, Bruce realized. He was reaching into his own belt for the drug, after he was sure Damian was close enough. Bruce reached his hand out, but once again wasn’t sure what to say. What to do. “…Dick…”

“I’m not losing him again.” Dick snapped, staring angrily up at him. “Do you know how many times I already have? I can’t. I’m not. I won’t.”

“He was leaving. He had made his own choice to leave.” Bruce countered. “We can’t…we can’t hold him against his will.”

“He’s also fucking thirteen, Bruce.” Dick hissed. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?”

“He…he wants space. He needs space.” Bruce tried.

“He needs help, B.” Dick countered desperately. “And he’s not going to get that being out there on his own.” Dick sighed, slumping a little. Let Damian’s unconscious face loll to the side so they could both see it. “I…I get what you’re trying to do. He wanted space and you’re trying to respect that. Respect him.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “But, Bruce. He’s thirteen, he’s traumatized and he’s alone.”

Bruce stepped forward, let his cape waft around his sons in the wind.

“We can’t let him be alone anymore. We can’t let him run off and not go after him. What do you think he believes when that happens? Does he think we hate him? Does he think all the terrible things anyone has ever said about him are true?” Dick whispered, running his knuckles along Damian’s face. “…Call it kidnapping or holding him hostage or whatever you want. I don’t care.”

Dick pulled Damian back up, pressed his cheek to Damian’s forehead.

“I’m not losing him again.” Dick repeated, his voice shaky. “I am not losing him again.”

Bruce watched them for a moment, watched as Dick began to gently rock, like Damian was an infant in his arms. He sighed, and glanced up towards the smog-infested purple night skies of Gotham City.

“He’ll be furious when he wakes up.” Bruce mumbled.

“Great.” Dick sniffed bitterly. “As long as he’s alive and home and with his family, he can hate me as much as he wants.”

Bruce closed his eyes, let himself breathe for a moment. Then lowered his head and stared at Dick.

“…Do you need help carrying him?” He asked softly. “Tommy’s drugs…”

“I can carry him to the car.” Dick threw Bruce a small smile. “Anything further than that might be a little dodgy.”

“Okay.” Bruce grunted, pressing a button on the side of his cowl to call the Batmobile. “Can I help you up, at least?”

“That’d be great, actually.” Dick admitted. “I just need help getting my feet under me, then I should be good.”

Bruce leaned down, gripping Dick’s biceps as he stumbled to his feet and simultaneously switched his hold on Damian so he was lying across his forearms. The forgotten grapple Damian had been holding tumbled from his fingers.

“…B?” Dick asked as Bruce began to usher him back into the building and down the stairs to where the rest of the family was still recovering.

“Hm?”

“Can you call Tim? Get him to come home, too? I haven’t seen him much since I remembered…” Dick trailed off, and Bruce sensed the sadness in Dick’s whole being. “I mean, Cassie and Jay are here, but…” A bitter laugh. “Call me selfish but I want all my siblings here.” A moment. “I want my whole family home.” He closed his eyes and leaned into Bruce’s side. “We’ve all been through so much shit lately, and I…I just want us to be all together again. If we can be.”

Bruce glanced down at him, and felt himself smiling, just a little. Allowed himself that tiny bit.

“Of course.” He promised. Then, in a mockery of what Dick had said earlier. “You deserve that much.”

Dick opened his eyes and glanced down to Damian, leaned peacefully against his chest. Dick laughed a little, as they entered the room where the rest of the family was, when Duke called out to them and gave a lethargic wave.

“Yeah.” Dick whispered, staring down at Damian’s face. “I think I do.”

[bakutae]

bnha headcanons #5

today's menu:

a platter of bakugou katsuki, a drop of shouto todoroki and a pea sized aizawa shouta

scenario:

when a kid comes up and proposes to you

author's note (if any):

i did a shigaraki tomura, kaminari denki and hitoshi shinso version here check it out if you're interested!

bakugou katsuki

'oh my god katsuki what are you doing'

you stared at your boyfriend in disbelief, mouth dropping open at the peculiar sight in front of you

there katsuki was, tackling a poor child on the floor

he was almost thrice the size of the kid and for a moment you were worried that katsuki would accidentally strangle him

you snapped out of your shock and stepped in to help the kid

you were at the playground, with katsuki, and the two of you were on the swings, swinging gently with the help of the soothing wind

a kid was then pushed in front of you, with the help of his friends, who were giggling uncontrollably behind the slide, thinking thay they were hidden well

you rolled your eyes and smiled, he was so adorable, with his cheeks tinted red and black orbs casted downwards as he fumbled with the corner of his shirt

bakugou frowned instantly as he saw him, sensing that something was up

bakugou opened his mouth to say something but the kids behind the slide beat him by a second

'hey lady! he wants to marry you!'

the boy flinched at the remark and he slowly nodded, eyes squeezing shut as if to prepare himself for the result

before you could say anything, however, you saw a quick blur from the corner of your eye and within seconds, the kid was tackled by bakugou

the kids behind the slide screamed their heads off and ran away, screaming something that seemed like 'oh no! a monster has grabbed chiaki! runnnnn!'

which led you to this situation you had in front of you

you tried to tug at bakugou's sleeves, hoping that it'd snap him out of his obvious rage and it didn't work

the kid's face went pale, as he started to shake under bakugou's body pressure and fear

'you dare steal my woman away from me? you absolute piece of shit.' bakugou hissed into the boy's ear

'oh my god, for god's sake, are you really arguing and tackling a kid now?'

bakugou grumbled as he got off the kid, glaring at the kid

you bent towards the kid and stretched out a hand to help him get up

he didn't take it, simply looking at bakugou with evident fear in his gaze

he slowly stood up himself and you took back your hand from embarrassment

'are you okay?' you whispered, a look of pity in your eyes as little balls of tears began rolling down his cheeks

without saying a word, he ran away, crying all the while

you were left speechless, and you stood there for a while

'so, uh, y/n'

'don't you dare uh me right now bakugou katsuki. you know what you did.' you frowned at him

you weren't mad with him, you were just... disappointed?

bakugou and yourself knew that the kid meant no harm, besides, you were already his and you didn't see the need to react that way

but on the other hand, the fact that he reacted this way meant that he cared about you deeply and that made you happy

'look, y/n i'm sorry okay? please don't be upset now.' bakugou peered into your eyes, eyes tinted with a hint of worry and panic

you cracked a smile and pinched his nose admiringly

'i'm not upset, it's alright suki. but maybe next time, not so violent again alright?'

'hell no. there ain't going to be a next time on this shit.'

shouto todoroki

you and shouto had a date planned on a sunday afternoon and you were extremely excited

you were clad in a white dress and had a thin black belt comfortably hugging your waist; simple and stylish, exactly the way you liked it

unlike other girls, you didn't see the need to spend so much time to get ready for a date

the moment you peeked into your closet, fingertips trailing along the soft material of your clothes while humming a soft tune, fingers matching the beat

the moment you stopped humming, your finger followed and you pulled out the dress from the closet, a whiff of detergent caressing your nose

it just so happened to be a simple white dress, nothing too flattering about it and you instantly reached for a thin belt, knowing how that'd complete your look, adding a more feminine note to your vibe that day

therefore, you were early to that date, and waited for shouto

you didn't text him and tell him about your early arrival; since you didn't want him to rush when you were the one who arrived early in the first place

gazing down at your phone, you scrolled through your friends' instagram stories, occasionally smiling at the stupidity of your friends'

it was then you felt a slight, delicate hand tugging at your skirt

you tore your gaze off your phone and looked down, feeling anxious for some unknown reason

what you didn't know, was that shouto was a few metres away from you; he stopped walking when he saw the boy who tugged at your skirt

ngl he'd be wondering if that was your secret love child or smth KEIDNFJFI

he looked at you, eyes devoid of any emotion as he observed you

you bent down to see a boy, no older than six, holding a flower that seemed like he just picked from the bushes nearby

his big vibrant eyes shone with determination and you smiled at him, reaching out a hand to ruffle his hair affectionately

yeah shouto was 50% sure he was your secret love child at this point

'h-hello, i want t-to tell you that i really l-like you a lot. p-please m-marry-'

'ding!'

your heart pounded as you looked at the boy, not knowing what to say to him, but the notification saved you from a potentially awkward situation

it was from shouto; 'i'm at the convenient store right now, do you mind if we met there instead?

you heaved a sigh of relief and slipped your phone into your slingbag and ruffled the boy's hair

'i need to go now, alright? see you!'

you watched as the boy's face slowly fell, but you briskly walked away before you could see his expression more clearly

when you met shouto at the convenient store, he was just standing there, occasionally turning his head left to right as if he's looking for you

when shouto caught sight of you, you walked towards him and threw yourself on him, arms circled around his waist as you buried yourself into his neck

shouto pulled away after a while

'so, y/n, was that your secret love child or something?'

'what?'

'that boy, that came up to you just now'

'you saw? why didn't you come and say something?'

'didn't want to ruin your reunion'

shouto pouted slightly and you couldn't help but smile

'aww shouto, don't worry, he's not my kid. the only person i'd have a child with is you'

'what?'

'what?'

'what?'

'let's go shouto!' you ran away from him, relishing in embarrassment, not believing that you really said that to him out loud

aizawa shouta

you and shouta had been together for quite some time, and shouta thought it was a great idea to play the marriage card

okok hear me out, shouta would make a cupcake, for the both of you, and in the icing will have the ring in it

he didn't really think of how it could go wrong and he really did think that it was a genius idea

so you two were hanging out, having a picnic in the park, relishing under the sun as the sunlight reflected into y'all's eyes

he brought out the cupcakes and you loved cupcakes, and spent no time waiting for him and you licked the tip of the frosting off the cupcake

that's when a two kids, both opposite gender, came up to you and stood in front of you, facing away from each other

'hey lady, why did my boyfriend say that he wanted to marry you?'

you were caught off guard and you blinked once, staring at the kids with a blank look in your eyes

'it's cause she's way prettier than you! and more nicer too! at least she doesn't talk like you do!' the boy replied, rolling his eyes at the girl

'fine! i don't want to be your girlfriend anymore! not even your friend! bye!'

the girl left so abruptly and you slowly looked at shouta, who was equally as confused as you were

now that the girl had left, the boy shot you a smile, and pulls out a toy ring

'she's gone! now miss, please-'

'shouta?!'

shouta had used his quirk and carried the boy all the way to the other side and roughly plopped him onto the ground

'aww shouta, are you jealous that someone else proposed to me first?'

'yes, i am. now what about it? shut up and eat your cupcake' his gruff, somewhat monotone voice cracking a little

you grinned knowingly and you bit into the cupcake

you were almost half way done when you saw something in the icing

'oh my god shouta there's something in my cupcake'

'i know, now continue eating it, theres a surprise inside the icing'

you squinted your eyes and took a closer look at it

it moved.

'oh my god why is the thing in my icing moving shouta'

'what?'

shouta picked up the cupcake and took a closer look at it

turns out, that some bugs had crawled inside the icing and found a safe place to stay; your supposed ring

you took the cupcake from shouta, ready to throw it out when he stopped you

he wasn't about to let you throw away the ring that he took months to save up for

as gross as it was, he forced himself to dig out the ring, which was covered in bugs, some even crawling up shouto's arm

'is that a...ring?'

'uh no? yes? maybe?'

'awww shoutaaa that's such a cute way to propose, too bad the bugs ruined it though'

'who said i was going to propose to you? the ring is in the cupcake, i proposed to the cupcake'

you grinned, watching in admiration as shouta grumbled away to wash the ring off throughly

maybe next time, shouta. maybe next time.

taglist: @bnha-homeroom

[avis-writeshq]

Akaashi Keiji x Reader - 青いバラ (Blue Rose)

Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Fem!Reader

Summary: Blue rose - a flower of the genus Rosa that presents blue-to-violet pigmentation instead of the common red, white, or yellow. Blue roses are often used to symbolise secret or unattainable love.

Warnings: VAST MENTIONS OF DEATH, mentions of blood, slow burn, ANGST, fluff if you look carefully, and 9k words of me procrastinating and trying very hard to keep the fic alive. ALSO HANAHAKI DISEASE AU BC I’M ADDICTED :D

Other: Yo, sorry for dying on you giuys for like, a while. School started up again this week but it was online and I was procrastinating on legit eVerYtHiNg oop so, anyway, hugs and kisses, hope you enjoy this fic because I am so freaking in love with Akaashi it isn’t funny anymore. 

Ngl, this fic took like 2+ weeks to complete, and my editor can attest to that :’) Hope you guys enjoy and don’t let this flop. Your requests are coming out soon so thank you for your support! Also I need a nice anon fam to keep nmme happy and occupied during quarantine :)

Word count: 9.1k                                                                                              

Editor: @creative-hours-open​

Things you probably wanna know, for all you ‘x reader’ illiterates:

(Y/N): Your Name

(H/C): Hair Colour / Color

(E/C): Eye Colour / Color

(N/N): Nickname

 ***

You don’t remember when these feelings came to be. You don’t remember when you first felt your heart skip a beat whenever he walked past you. You don’t remember the first time you started replaying all your conversations with him in your head when it was 3 am and your brain wouldn’t shut up. You don’t remember the first time you blushed when he sent you a soft smile after you stared for a second too long. No, you don’t remember those things; but you do remember the first time a small blue rose petal appeared in your hand after you coughed too hard.

 Hanahaki Disease: Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病 ) is a disease where the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear.

 For months you lived with this disease not even your parents knew. How could they? After all, they were each other’s first love – their love wasn’t one-sided and besides, you didn’t want to worry them; you can get through this yourself.

 Right?

 You leaned over the bucket, velvet-soft petals tickling your throat before pouring into the overflowing bucket. Tears prickled the sides of your eyes, threatening to spill just like the petals that scattered to the ground.

 God, does this ever stop? You coughed again, gasping for air as you sat on your knees on the cold tile floor. Shit, what time was it? You have school today! Coughing one last petal out, you emptied the bucket into a plastic bag and threw it to the side, grabbing your school bag and rushing out the house.

 You couldn’t be late… the bus leaves and waits for nobody. You ran as fast as you could to the bus stop, stopping only to get oxygen back into your system. You still had the wind knocked out of you from spewing rose petals all over the bathroom, but you made it just in time.

The bus was basically full with the only seat that was empty being…

 Shit.

 You genuinely thought of flinging yourself out of the bus or just standing, but that wasn’t an option.

 “Hey, sit down, will ya? I can’t move if you don’t,” the bus driver grunted as you flinched.

 “S-sorry, sir…” you mumbled, holding your breath when you sat in the only seat available.

 Clutching the bag in your lap tightly, you tried your best to ignore the awkward presence next to you. You went to the same school as him! You shouldn’t be feeling this uneasy…

 “Ah, (L/N) (Y/N), right?”

 Fuck.

 You raise your eyes to meet his eyes. “Yes…? You’re Akaashi Keiji.”

 He nodded, giving you a once over before finally saying, “Did you go to the flower shop beforehand?”

 “No…?”

 “You have a flower on your shirt,” he explained. “Well, a petal.”

 Your eyes widened and you looked down at the collar of your shirt. Lo and behold, a bright blue petal was tucked away, but you can see most of it poking out. You felt your cheeks flush in embarrassment.

 “Oh… ha ha… thank you?”

 He nodded. “It’s fine…” He was quiet for a moment before murmuring, “blue looks good on you.”

 ***

 Why did he have to be in the same class as you? Every single time he was near you, the flower in your lungs thought that it would be a wonderful time to bloom. Right after the bus stop, for example, you coughed your lungs out into a janitor’s basket before forcing your way to class.

 Biology, the first class of the day and he was a foot away from you. Did the gods have something against you? Twenty minutes into the class, you felt yourself on the verge of another coughing fit.

 You raised your hand meekly, and the teacher looked at you, an eyebrow raised in mockery. Your other hand was covering your mouth as you forced the bright blue rose petals down but you couldn’t. You let out a cough, a few petals falling into your hand. Begrudgingly, the teacher lets you go to the bathroom, and you run out the door frantically.

 ‘How pathetic,’ you thought to yourself as you coughed out more petals. The roots were getting deeper, you can tell. You cough harshly once more, and a small rose bud falls onto the tiled bathroom floors. ‘Get over yourself. He won’t look at you twice.’

 But you knew that. You knew that more than the next person. So why… Why couldn’t you get over him? Each cough hurt more than the last, and the toilet was full of small blue petals. Some had small splotches of blood on them, and you could smell the metallic scent of the blood overtaking the soft scent of roses and tears. You wiped your tears with the cuffs of your school blazer. No more, you willed yourself, stepping out of the cubicle.

 Splashing cold water on your face, you let out a breath as you stared at yourself in the mirror. When did you stoop so low? Your eyes were blotched with tears and your cheeks were hollow from not eating. This was just too much. You clenched your eyes closed, tears rolling onto your cheeks as you did. You shook your head; time to get back to class.

 ***

“Hey, are you okay?” Aneko asked gently as you nibbled on your lunch.

 You mustered a smile to please her. “I’m okay.”

 “You had a coughing fit this morning; I don’t think you’re okay.” She gave you a disapproving look and you couldn’t help but flinch under her scrutinising gaze.

 “It’s just a cough. It’ll pass.”

 You can tell she doesn’t believe you, but your silence finishes off the conversation. Well, it should, anyway.

 “(L/N)-san, are you feeling alright?” A voice asks from above you, and you felt your heart drop.

 “Akaashi-san. Yes, I’m okay, thank you.” You don’t look at him, eyes drawn to the bento in front of you as you fought the soft blush on your cheeks.

 “If you keep coughing, the nurse should be able to give you some medicine,” he says gently, his eyes looking at you from above.

 Your eyes flickered to his for a second. “I don’t think there’s a medicine that can help me.”

 He opened his mouth to respond but is pulled away by a loud and boisterous third year. “AKAASHIII!!!”

 “They need you,” you said, closing your bento. “I have to go. Let’s go, Aneko. Thank you for your concern, but I really should get going.”

 “But-”

 “AKAASHIII!”

 He sent you one last look before running after his friend. You just stayed silent, clenching your fists in your lap as Aneko shot you a confused look.

 “I didn’t know you were friends with Akaashi,” she remarked, frowning at you. “What happened?”

 “Aneko,” you murmured, tears prickling your eyes, “do you know of the Hanahaki disease?”

 Her eyes widened. “Don’t tell me…”

 You just sent her a wry smile before running to the bathroom.

 ***

Another disastrous day. The bus was relatively empty on the way home, probably because some of the boys had afterschool volleyball training. Pulling your phone out of your blazer pocket, you opened up Google.

 ‘Is there a way to get rid of the Hanahaki Disease?’

 Multiple sites came up; some were even websites of hospitals that claimed to get rid of the disease.

 You pressed on a tab that seemed to answer your question.

 ‘Surgery can help, but I had a friend who was unable to feel affection after the surgery.’

 ‘You should confess first!’

 ‘The medical bills are really expensive, but it’s worth it.’

 ‘Would you rather suffocate from flower petals or lose the ability to love? My sister did it and she regrets it all.’

 ‘There’s a guy who does it in India for cheap.’

 ‘The cheapest is 150,000 yen. Good luck.’

 You groaned, closing the tab and leaned back in your chair. Could this day get any worse? How were you supposed to get 150,000 yen, anyway? Even if you could afford the surgery, there was no way your parents would even allow you to take it. Hugging your bag closer to your chest, you let out a sigh. The only way to get rid of these emotions was to either have the person love you back, get over him, or surgery. There was, of course, the prospect of drowning yourself in bleach, but you didn’t think that your friends and family would agree to such ‘extreme’ methods.

 ‘Dammit, Akaashi, you’re giving me problems when I need it the least,’ you thought to yourself, as you stepped out of the bus. How long does it take for this disease to kill you, anyway?

 The answer was six months. According to your research, you have had the Hanahaki Disease for a minimum of four months, so you were basically on the verge of death. In other words, you had 2 months to either take the surgery, get him to fall in love with you, or die. The options didn’t seem too promising.

 Your parents weren’t home today, as usual. A note was waiting for you on the kitchen bench and you suppressed a sigh.

 ‘Dinner is in the microwave. Don’t skip your dinner.

~ Love, Dad’

 You skipped dinner anyway.

 ***

School counsellors were really… different. They’re not teachers, but they teach you valuable ‘life lessons’ when you really need it. They’re not nurses but they take care of you when you’re hurt. Well, they take care of you when you’re hurt mentally.

 According to a lot of other students, the counsellor at Fukurodani could either be your best friend or sworn enemy. But at this point, you were desperate. You really needed advice and you couldn’t just ask your friends. No, that wouldn’t work out. After all, they were as insane as you.

 “Tell me whatever you need to tell me,” she said with a gentle smile as you looked around the room that enclosed you.

 The room was really… childish? Ladybug wall stickers decorated the walls topped with  a huge cat poster plastered  by the door. And still you questioned yourself, God, what were you supposed to say?

 You had it rehearsed in your mind, ‘I have the Hanahaki Disease,’ but when it was your turn to talk, your tongue was glued to the roof of your mouth.

 The woman across from you, bless her, just sat there with a patient nod. She handed you a pen and paper. 

“Can you write it for me?” She asks as she puts her glasses on.

 You did as you were told.

 You watched as she read over your scrawl and her jaw dropped. It just… dropped. You’re not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but her jaw dropped as she gaped at you, glasses askew.

 “The Hanahaki Disease… are you sure?”

 You raised an eyebrow as if to ask, ‘I have rose petals coming out of my mouth and you think I’m not sure?’

 She sighed, leaning back in her chair. “You know, that is very dangerous. Have you consulted a doctor? Have you told your parents?”

 “I don’t want to worry anyone,” you mumbled, “my parents aren’t home a lot so they wouldn’t have time to take me to the doctors, and the surgery is pretty-”

 “You’re considering the surgery?” She cut you off, mouth open and surprised but there was more to that; she was… concerned.

 You grimaced. “What else can I do?”

 She raised an unamused eyebrow but a ghost of a smile  spread on her face. “You can try telling him?”

 The thought alone made you feel sick. “I don’t think I can. He obviously doesn’t like me that way.”

 “Have you tried talking to him?” She prompted, taking out a notepad to write in before nodding at you to continue.

 “We only had one decent conversation and that was about English homework. We’ve only talked once outside of school and…” you fell silent, averting your gaze. “Why would he like me, anyway? He has volleyball to put up with, and his grades are perfect. He doesn’t need a love interest entering his life.”

 The counsellor sighed, looking you dead in the eye. “The most important thing for a relationship to bloom is communication. If you can’t hold a conversation now, how is that supposed to help you in the future?”

 You hated it when important people had a point. “It gets worse when I’m near him.”

 “Just imagine you’re talking to a friend,” she said kindly, before proceeding to ask more questions.

 ***

You stepped into the class halfway through your fourth period. All heads turn to you as you lowered your head in embarrassment. Meekly passing the teacher a late slip, you took your seat behind Akaashi Keiji.

 You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything when class ended and everyone packed up to get ready for their next class. However, the first move had already been made.

 “Akaashi was asking about you,” Aneko said as you grabbed more books out of your locker.

 Your eyes widened, flickering to hers for a split second. “What did he say?”

 “He wanted to know if you were alright. I was getting worried too, y’know; you were in the counsellor’s office for a lot longer than I expected.”

 “She wouldn’t stop talking,” you said in a half-hearted explanation. You didn’t want to go into the details.

 “(L/N)-san, you went to the counsellor’s office?”

 You wanted to shrivel up and die. You didn’t prepare for this! What were you supposed to say now?

 Letting out a small breath, you turned around to face him. “Yeah, but I’m okay.”

 “Is your cough getting any better?” He asked gently, peering down at you with concern.

 “Yeah, I’m getting better,” you lied, praying for the little flower growing in your lungs to disappear in this short moment.

 He nodded, “I’m glad. Ah, and I photocopied my notes from the previous classes. They should cover the lessons.”

 You swallowed thickly, fighting the heat that clouded your cheeks. 

 You stuttered out a timid response. “Thank you…”

 He sent you a small smile before taking his seat. You felt sick all over again and coughed out some more petals. Aneko’s eyes watched you with concern as you faked a smile.

 “I’m okay. I don’t need to go to the bathroom for this,” you said, hoping to calm her nerves.

 “I’m taking you to the doctor’s after this, got it? Screw your parents, you need some medical advice,” she deadpanned, her tangerine eyes staring into yours and you can’t help the sigh that escaped your lips.

 “We’ll talk more after class,” you promised before sitting down and going over the notes Akaashi made for you. Your heart hammered in your chest as you read his kanji. Unsurprisingly, it was neat. But then again, what were you expecting from Akaashi Keiji? He seemed to be the type to take everything quite seriously.

 Ten minutes pass. Then twenty… thirty minutes later and you wonder to yourself, I didn’t cough once?

 ***

“How long did you say you had this disease for?” The doctor asked.

 “According to Google, around four months,” you answer, fiddling with your fingers.

 “Any particular reason you didn’t come with your parents?”

 “They had work.”

 Aneko hummed to confirm your statement. “She’s alone for most of the time. That’s why I am here to help!”

 “Right…” the doctor eyed her before turning back to you. “Have you talked to him?”

 “Why do people keep asking me that?” You mutter to yourself, digging your nails into the palms of your hands.

 The doctor let out an exasperated sigh. “Unless you can earn yourself an ungodly amount of money, the only thing you can do is hope to earn his affections. That or the flowers in your lungs will kill you.”

You knew that. The words seemed to fall on deaf ears because, hell, you knew that better than anyone in the room. Were you the only one with this disease? Everyone you talked to, everyone you confided in… they never seemed to have this disease. Your parents were in love with each other as soon as they met. The school counsellor has never been in love with anyone before. Aneko and her boyfriend have known each other since they were kids and fell in love relatively quickly while this doctor makes the Hanahaki Disease sound so simple. As if it was nothing more than just a small phase or bump in one’s life.

 Bull shit.

 You didn’t want this disease any more than the next person. Why? Because the disease hurt; it hurt a lot. The worst thing about it was the fact that there was no actual cure. The disease itself was kill or be killed; kill your feelings, or kill yourself. There was not an actual cure. Scientists didn’t know how the flower itself blossomed in one’s lungs. They didn’t know how to cure it.

 The worst part? The Hanahaki Disease claimed the lives of more people than traffic accidents and suicide combined. People weren’t necessarily scared of the disease. They were just… uneasy and you understood why.

 One thing was for certain though; the Hanahaki Disease was based on genetics. So somewhere along the line, one of your family members was affected by this particular disease. Of course, your parents probably never even thought about the possibility, so they probably didn’t test if you had the gene.

 Man, you really hated your parents sometimes.

 You left the doctor’s office silently, eyes downcast. Your knees trembled from below you and you felt as if you could collapse any minute now.

 “Aneko,” you murmured, stilling yourself and looking at her. “I didn’t cough when he was there.”

 She frowns, “What do you mean?”

 “When Akaashi was next to me, I didn’t cough a single petal. Not even once did I cough. I only did when class ended.” You showed her a weak smile before continuing. “It probably doesn’t mean anything though, does it?”

 “This is why you need to talk to him,” she said before stepping in front of you with her hands on her hips. “You’re dying, (Y/N). That isn’t something you should be taking lightly.”

 “I know,” you whispered, avoiding her eyes. “It’s not that easy you know. He has things to do and… he doesn’t need this right now.”

 She nodded, continuing to walk down the street. “I’m a pretty shitty friend, huh?”

 Your eyes widened, and you gape at her. 

 Quickening your pace to catch up to her, you glared. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

 “I don’t know how you’re feeling right now. I’ve never been in your situation and I… what am I supposed to say to you?” Her voice is rising and you noticed that she had stopped walking altogether. “You’re always the one taking the shots and helping me. You’re the one who introduced me to Eito. You’re the one who stays up late to help me with the assignments I put off. You’re the one helping everyone with their problems. You’re always giving, (Y/N), you’re always the one who puts others in front of yourself!”

 Tears leaked out the sides of her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.  You opened your mouth to say something but she cuts you off.

 “This is the one time you’re meant to be selfish. This is the one time you’re supposed to put yourself first. All you do is give! People –” she choked on her tears before saying – “people envy you, you know? I envy you! You’re usually so happy… you’re so willing to help others, even if they’ve done you so much wrong!” 

She wiped her tears with her arms, but they kept coming. “This – this is the one time you need help with something and I can’t even do anything!”

 She’s crying harder and all you can do is watch on. Fat tears dropped to the cemented ground as she wails louder. “Be selfish for once, (Y/N)! Please… I can’t lose you!”

 You’re crying now, too, but you don’t realise it until you taste the salty tears from the corner of your mouth. They spilled silently as you watch Aneko, your best friend, sob into the sleeves of her jumper . 

 If anyone was around, they would think that you were weirdos. Two random teenage girls crying their eyes out in the middle of the street wasn’t a natural occurrence. 

 You wipe your tears away with the back of your hand and offer her the most realistic smile you could muster. “Let’s head home, okay? We can binge that sports anime you’ve been meaning to watch.”

 She sniffs, the last of her tears splashing to the floor. “Okay.”

 *** 

You’re both late to school the next morning but you don’t really care. Aneko leaves at 5am to sneak into her house that was two blocks away from yours. You’re racing to gather your things so that you can do your homework in the bus. 

 After puking out another bucketful of rose petals in the bathroom, you’re bolting out the door to catch the bus. There were more places to sit now, and if this was any other circumstance, you would have sat as far away from Akaashi as you could. 

 ‘TALK TO HIM!’ You order yourself and you do before you could change your mind. 

 You pulled out your geography homework. From the corner of your eye, you note how Akaashi’s eyes do an onceover of your work. Trying to block him out, you began to answer the questions. 

 What metropolitan area is the largest in the world not bordering a body of water?

 What the heck? You blanched at the question. You don’t remember this being in the textbook! You screamed internally, and you have half a mind to pull out your phone to do some research. 

 “The answer is Johannesburg, South America,” a voice from beside you says helpfully. 

 You look up, your eyes are met with gentle navy eyes. Your cheeks burn as you look away. How is it possible to have such pretty eyes? 

 “Oh… thanks,” you mumble, and you let out a breath. “Hey, Akaashi?”

 His eyes widen and he clears his throat. “Yes? Is everything okay?”

 “Uh… thank you again for photocopying your notes! It was really nice of you! I would’ve gotten them from Aneko, but her handwriting is… questionable,” you laughed lightly, easing yourself into the conversation. “Thanks for caring, is all I’m trying to say.”

 The smallest of smiles makes its way onto his face and he looks at you with sincerity. “I’ll always care, you know?”

“Wait, really?” You blink twice at him, confusion swirling in your chest.  

 He nodded at you, looking out the window. “I care more than you think.”

 ***

The conversation replayed in your head over and over again, and you can’t help but stare dreamily out the window. When lunch began, Aneko snapped her fingers in your face, bringing you out of your daze. You flush, looking up at her as she grinned down at you.

 “So… what happened with Lover Boy over there?”

 “Nothing,” you wave her off, trying to ignore the blood that rushed to your cheeks. “We just… talked.”

 She wiggled her eyebrows at you teasingly. “So are you guys, like, together yet?”

 “It’s not that easy,” you mutter, raising an eyebrow at her. “Love doesn’t just appear, it builds over several conversations and it takes time.”

 “Not all the time; Eito and I had love at first sight,” she swooned lightly, and you rolled your eyes at her antics. “Anyway!” She exclaimed, slapping the table. “You have to talk to him more! You like him, right?”

 “Obviously,” you deadpanned, giving her a look of amusement.

 “Then go talk to him!”

 With that, she pulled you out of your chair and pushed you out of the room.

 You rolled your eyes, “That wasn’t very Plus Ultra of you.”

 “(L/N)-san?” 

 You spun around to face the person, a small smile on your face. “Hi, Akaashi-san! Yeah, Aneko threw me out of the classroom.”

 “Oh, I see,” he nodded in understanding.

 “AKAASHIII!”

 You jolted out of surprise, eyes widening when you see a third year look down at you.

 Akaashi let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Bokuto-san. What are you doing here?”

 “What’s wrong with seeing you? You’re annoyed of me, right?” A pout rested on his face, and you couldn’t help but question his strange hairstyle as you looked up at him.

 “Um… hello? You’re Bokuto Koutarou, right? The captain of the volleyball team?” You forced a friendly smile.

 “You must be (L/N) (Y/N)! Akaashi talks a lot about you!” He grinned at you with an owlish expression.

 You felt your cheeks tinge red. “Really?”

 “That’s enough, Bokuto-san. You’re scaring her,” Akaashi sighed before turning to you. “Ignore him. Do you want to watch our volleyball practice after school? You seem to be interested.”

 You flush pink. “I don’t want to be a bother…”

 “I invited you. It’ll be fine.” A small smile made its way onto his face. “I’ll take you after school.”

 You grinned, “Okay!”

 ***  

Aneko beamed at you, pinching your cheeks while she was at it. “Aw, (Y/N), I’m so proud!”

 You rolled your eyes, pushing her hands away from your face. “He invited me to watch his volleyball practice; it’s not that big of a deal.”

 “It is when you like him!” She cheered, the smile on her face widening. “You’re gonna cure that dumb disease and you’re gonna get a hot boyfriend. I rate that ten out of ten.”

 You don’t respond, instead finding your phone much more interesting.

 “Huh? What are you doing? (Y/N)…” You could practically hear the pout in Aneko’s voice.

 You moved your hand away, blocking the screen so that she couldn’t see who you were texting. “I’m not doing anything.”

 “Then show me!” She whined, before a sly smirk rested on her lips. “Oh, I see. You’re texting Akaashi, right?”

 “What makes you think that?” You flushed, looking away from her.

 Aneko grinned, patting your head in jest. “Have fun with him, (Y/N)! Don’t forget me, alright?”

 You couldn’t help but laugh, knocking her hand once more. “Alright, alright. Now go away, Eito is waiting for you.”

 She nodded, brushing her mousey brown hair out of her face. “Text me tonight, yeah?”

 You hummed in agreement before turning back to your phone.

 “(Y/N)-san,” a voice called out, and you felt your cheeks redden.

 You let out a breath before smiling up at the setter. “You don’t have to add honorifics, Akaashi-san. We’re friends, right?”

 “Then call me Keiji,” he offered, looking down at you.

 “Keiji,” you said slowly before nodding. “Then call me (Y/N).”

 “I’ve always liked your name,” he remarked nonchalantly. “Come on, we have to get to the gym, okay?”

 With a slight skip in your step, you followed him to the Gym 03. He slid the door open, revealing multiple yellow and blue balls flying over volleyball nets. They flew from all directions, and stray balls seemed to be more dangerous than the actual people. The people in the volleyball team were tall, big, and intimidating. You couldn’t help the little shiver that crept up your spine.

 You felt a hand rest on your shoulder and you looked up at Akaashi. He sent a reassuring smile your way.

 “They’re not as scary as they look,” he promised, taking you up to the high rises. “They’re a bunch of babies when you get to know them.”

 You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your mouth. “I’ll take your word for it, then.”

 Watching from above, you noticed the way everyone on the team worked together; how they cheered each other on and the way they dealt with Bokuto… everyone was a lot friendlier than you thought they were.

 But all the peace and happiness you held was cut short as your stomach lurched and you felt your heart thunder in your chest. Your lungs suddenly started wheezing for air and you stumbled down the stairs. Trying your best to open the gym door as inconspicuously as possible, you bolted to the nearest bathroom to empty your lungs.

 You gasped for air, coughing wildly as petals spilled out of your mouth and onto the walkway. Droplets of blood fell into the palms of your hands before inking the ground. Thorns tumbled out of your mouth, scratching and wounding your throat as you staggered to the bathroom, the metallic taste of blood filling your mouth and taking over your senses. Your left hand leaned against the side of the gym, and you tried your best to stabilize yourself, but trying seemed to be futile.

 Sobbing from the pain, you fell to your knees as petals and rose buds fell out of your mouth. God, this could not be happening right now.  

 Breathing heavily, you furiously wiped the tears and sweat off your face. You looked around you at the mess of blood, flowers, and thorns. You stared at the dark green thorns that scattered around you, and you couldn’t help but feel another wave of dread wash over you. Why…? Why was the disease getting worse? You thought that everything was getting better; Akaashi was talking to you more and you were making so much progress with him as well! So why was it getting worse?

 You sucked in a breath, trying to regulate your breathing as you wiped your tears away. Your lungs burned in your chest as you got up from the ground, trying your best to clean the mess you made.  Somehow managing to make it look like someone didn’t commit murder with a bouquet of flowers, you made your way back to the gym.

 Forcing a smile, you slid the gym door open. All eyes turned to you and you felt a blush rise to your cheeks.

 “Um… I had to go to the bathroom,” you said shakily, avoiding any and all eye contact.

 “You were gone for a while,” Akaashi noted, “are you feeling alright?”

 “Yeah, I just needed to get some air, y’know?” You faked a laugh before waving him off. “I’m fine, really. Go back to practice, Keiji.”

 He nodded silently, glancing back at you for a split second.

 “AKAASHIII! It’s your serve!” Bokuto exclaimed. “NICE SERVE!”

 Picking up the ball, Akaashi let his eyes wander to you as you sat at the high rises. He felt his heart tug in his chest as he threw up the ball to serve.

 Don’t lie to me.

 *** 

Practice ended a while later, and you had done your best to not gawk at your long-time crush. Sure, you have seen his games before, but that was live on a screen. This was different. Here you could feel the thud of the balls as they hit the floor violently, and you could feel the heat and exhaustion leaking off the players; you don’t feel that kind of thing through a screen. 

 “Thank you for letting me watch your practice,” you said, bowing respectfully at the coach and the two managers. 

 They smiled, and the coach replied, “You’re welcome back any time.”

 “(Y/N), I can walk you to the bus stop if you would like?”

 You felt yourself panic internally as you stood in front of the open door. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was but you do anyway.

 Opening your mouth to say ‘no’, you found that the only word that escaped your voice box was, “Sure.”

 “I’ll change first, and then we can go.”

 You answered with a slight nod, and the pain you felt just moments ago filled your thoughts. Shaking the feeling off, you waited by the gym doors.

 “So, you and Akaashi?”

 You felt your heart leap to your throat as you spun around to face the person. It was Suzumeda Kaori, one of the team managers on the volleyball team. She smirked at you, sending you a knowing look.

 “We’re just friends,” you said bashfully, but on the inside you wished that what she said was true.

 She didn’t believe you for a second, “Really?” She asked drily, the smirk on her face widening by a second. “So… you don’t like him?”

 “I… never said that,” you said under your breath, and you felt your cheeks burn in embarrassment. “We’re just friends though. I doubt he even knew I existed until a few weeks ago.”

 “Huh,” she remarked, before picking up a stray volleyball. “Whatever you say, (L/N)-chan.”

 “(Y/N), are you ready?” Another voice cut in, and you nodded your answer to the question.

 The walk to the bus stop was calm as the cherry blossoms fell and drifted over the two of you. It was nice, to say the least. Every so often, you found yourself glancing at the setter through the corner of your eye before forcing your gaze to  turn back to the path. You groaned internally. You were falling harder, and the fact that you practically had a ticking time bomb planted in your lungs wasn’t helping.

 “I’ve noticed you and Bokuto are really close. When did you meet?” You cringed slightly at the poor excuse of a conversation starter, but he didn’t seem to mind.

 “I met him last year when I first went to the club. He said that my tosses were good,” he smiled slightly at the memory, and you felt your heart skip a beat.

 “That’s pretty cool. He’s really loud, so I was surprised when I found out you were both friends.” You let out a small laugh.

 He nodded in understanding, “I get that a lot. He’s not that bad when you get to know him. When I introduced you, you looked pretty intimidated.”

 “I was… surprised. He’s really loud and he’s quite the character.”

 “He’s a good guy; and he’s reliable.”

 “I’ll take your word for it.”

 Silence is the only thing that followed as you waited at the bus stop. Akaashi had taken sudden interest in his shoes, and you were trying to wrack your brain for a conversation starter.

 “I forgot to ask,” he said, cutting the silence. “Are you feeling any better?”

 You blinked at him, clueless for a moment before it dawned on you. “Oh, yeah, I told you I was fine, didn’t I?” You shot him a reassuring smile. “I was just feeling light headed in the gym. It was really warm.”

 “Ah, right, that makes sense. I’m glad you’re feeling okay, (Y/N).”

 Why was he able to make something as simple as your name sound nice? Blood rushed to your cheeks as the bus pulled to a stop, and the both of you took a seat. Cheeks still flushed red, you focused your vision on the window. There were a few scratch marks here and there, and you watched as the cars drove past. Red car, blue car, black car, black car, white ca-

 “Are you hungry?” A calm voice questioned from beside you.

 You opened your mouth to answer, but you didn’t need to.

 Your stomach growled at the mention of food. 

 Keiji chuckled softly before handing you a curry bun. “Here.”

 You eyed it warily, “Do you have one? I don’t want to eat your lunch or anything… and you’re the one who was doing the physical activity.”

 “I have one right here,” he said, pulling out an identical bun. “Have it.”

 You hesitated, but took it gratefully, taking small nibbles. “Thanks.”

  The rest of the bus ride was relatively quiet, the both of you having small snippets of conversation throughout the ride. The bus lurched to a stop, and you glanced outside the window to check what stop you were at.

 “Ah, this is my stop, Keiji. Thank you for accompanying me; it was really nice of you.” You grinned, showing a clumsy bow before picking up your bag. “Thanks for the food as well!”

 “You don’t have to thank me, (Y/N). I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” He smiled gently.

 With a final wave, you stepped off the bus before making your way to your house, cheeks warm and a goofy smile on your face.

 Meanwhile, Akaashi sat in the bus, staring wistfully out the window. With a final sigh, he picked up his phone and clicked ‘call’ on a particular contact.

 “Bokuto-san. I need your help.”

***

You returned to school the next day, expecting for the day to be the same as every other one but when you stepped into the classroom, you found a strange biological piece of matter on your table.

 A single blue rose with all the thorns cut off on your desk. It was just… sitting there. You suddenly felt sick. Who the hell confesses to someone with a blue rose? Albeit, it was a very pretty flower, but it wasn’t something one would confess with. That is, if this one was a confession. What happened to the red and white roses at the flower shop? It was nowhere near Valentine’s Day or White Day, so there shouldn’t be a shortage of supply.

 The only conclusion you could make was the fact that someone knew about your disease. Someone must have seen you. Your stomach churned with anxiety as you picked up the rose. There wasn’t a note to go with it, so there was no way for you to find out who delivered it to you. Then again, the rose might not have been for you.

 “Ooh, Whatcha got there?”

 You yelped at the sound of your best friend’s voice, nearly dropping the flower in your hands.

 “Don’t creep up on me,” you grumbled, shooting a glare at her.

 Aneko grinned, plucking the rose from your hands. “What’s this? From a secret admirer, maybe?”

 “I think someone knows,” you said abruptly, crossing your arms over your chest. “Did you tell anyone?”

 “What? You know I don’t talk to anyone but you and Eito and I didn’t mention anything to him.” She frowned, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “Maybe Akaashi knows?”

 “Why would he know?”

 “He invited you yesterday to watch practice. You did say that you had a coughing fit right?” A sly smirk made its way onto her face. “Maybe he got worried when you left the gym and followed you.”

 You let out a sigh as you took a seat at your desk. Resting your chin on the palm of your hand, you looked at her expectantly. “He wouldn’t like me; he probably just thinks of me as a friend.”

 Bending down to reach eye level with you, she flicked your forehead, and you yelped in pain. “Stop being a baby and tell him.”

 “It’s not that easy!” You countered, rubbing the area she flicked. “I can’t just magically make the disease go away by confessing. He has to like me too!”

 “You’re not making it any easier,” Aneko pointed out.

 You shot her a fiery look, hitting the top of her head with a maths textbook. “Shut up, Aneko.”

 She pouted at you before taking her seat. Akaashi entered the classroom moments later, taking his usual seat in front of you. You felt your heart hammer within your chest as you stared at his usual unruly mop of black hair.

 You did your best to focus on the task at hand. However, trying to focus on a class you had zero interest in was becoming a problem. Staring at your very blank page of paper, you were very close to screaming. What was the lesson on again? Was this maths or geography?

 “Ah, (Y/N), Eito wanted to talk to me about something. I’ll see you later!” Aneko exclaimed, and you brought yourself out of your reverie.

 “Wait what?” You glanced around, but the classroom was pretty much empty. 

“Wait, Aneko-”

But she was already out the door. You groaned, hitting your forehead against your table in frustration.

 “I really should have paid attention,” you muttered to yourself, squeezing your eyes shut.

 A small shuffling sound next to you snapped you out of your daydream and you looked up at the person.

 “Keiji?” You couldn’t bring yourself to say another thing, your mouth opening and closing as you thought of what to say.

 “You seemed to have trouble with the lesson,” he said gently, holding a book out to you.

 You blinked at it warily before gingerly taking it. “You don’t have to do all this for me. And… how did you know that I couldn’t concentrate?”

 “Aneko,” he responded, looking at you intently. “You can borrow my notes.”

 You watched as his eyes wandered to the rose that was on your lap and you felt your cheeks burn. “Ah, this is nothing! It was on my desk and I guess someone put it there. I don’t know who, but-”

 “Do you like it?” He asked, his eyes ghosting over your face.

 “Yeah… it’s a shame it probably isn’t meant for me, though.” You offer a shy smile.

 He nodded briskly before patting your shoulder. “Do you want to watch practice again today?”

 “Really?”

 “Why not? It gave everyone else motivation and you enjoyed it, right?”

 “Yeah, I did! It was really cool watching everyone work together like that; your tosses were amazing! It seemed to get the whole team to bond. You’re really focused on the court. I guess you have to be when you’re the control centre of the team.” You shut your mouth abruptly, and your cheeks reddened even further. “Sorry, I’m rambling aren’t I?”

 “I don’t mind,” he said tenderly, a strange fondness on his features. “We’ll go to the gym together at the end of the day.”

 You beamed. “I look forward to it!”

 ***

The rest of the day goes smoothly. Well, as smooth as it could be. Halfway in your third period, you choked on a thorn and had to be excused for a full half-hour before returning to the class. For most people in the class, you were either faking to skip class or you were genuinely sick. Strangely enough, your teachers seemed to understand  your situation and didn’t question when you left the class randomly.

 Wonderful, you thought to yourself for the umpteenth time as all heads turned to you when you had returned to class, I’m absolutely pathetic.

 You could still taste blood when you walked with Keiji to the gym, but holy shit, you wished that this could end.

 And you realised that maybe it would end; very, very soon.

 “Akaashi-kun!” A high pitched voice rang in your ears and you flinched slightly.

 You and Keiji were just about to leave the school when a girl with bouncy yellow curls pushed her way between the two of you. You blinked, confused and rather insulted as you stumbled backwards, watching the girl cling onto Akaashi’s arm. You watched as his jaw clenched in agitation.

 “Can I talk to you?” The girl asked with a sickeningly sweet smile as she side-glanced you before hissing, “Alone.”

 He nodded wordlessly as he followed the girl.

 You were no stalker; you were no eavesdropper either. Looking up at their retreating figures, you tried to find a reason as to why you should stay put. Your lovesick brain didn’t have a good enough reason.

 “Akaashi-san, I like you!”

 You choked as you clapped a hand over your mouth when you heard her high-pitched voice screech a confession.

 “Thank you, but I like someone else,” Keiji’s monotone voice said, and you let out a breath of relief.

 That was good, right? Maybe it was you! Or maybe it won’t be. You groan inwardly, steeling yourself as you listened to their conversation.

 “I’m sure I can be better than her!” The girl exclaimed and you rolled your eyes.

 “I’m sorry, but I like her very much.”

 Oh. You slowly made your way back to where Akaashi had left you, thoughts running through your mind. How were you supposed to compete against her? 

 Moments later, Akaashi returned to your side, hands stuffed in his volleyball jacket. 

 “Did you wait long?” 

 “No, not really. The bus is coming, we should go.”

 He nodded, wordlessly walking beside you. The silence that followed was, to say the least, awkward. You had a feeling he knew you were listening in to his conversation, and he knew you were uneasy about the entire situation. Tugging nervously at your bag strap, you couldn’t help the glances you sent from the corners of your eyes. 

 “Hey, Keiji,” you interrupted the silence and he turned to you, eyebrows raised as a signal to continue. “Uh… do you want my number? You can tell me when you have practice so I can bring extra food.”

  “I don’t mind bringing you food, (Y/N),” he said, but a small smile was etched on his face. “I’ll give you my number, too then.”

 And so, numbers were exchanged and the apples of your cheeks were flushed in happiness. That was progress, right?

 The bus pulled to a stop, and you hopped up from your seat. “Thanks for walking me to the bus again. See you tomorrow!”

 Dropping your bag to the floor, you slumped onto your bed, a small yawn slipping from your mouth. 

 From: Akaashi Keiji 

Did you make it inside safely?

 You grinned at your phone, quickly typing in a response.

                                                                                                    To: Akaashi Keiji

                                                                                                                        Yep! 

                                                                                                    To: Akaashi Keiji

                                                        Thanks again for letting me come to practice!

 From: Akaashi Keiji

Do you want to come to practice tomorrow?

 You couldn’t hold back your squeal.

 *** 

Three weeks passed in a blink of an eye and your friendships with the volleyball team grew. Aneko was still going out with Eito, and that would mark their second year of dating. Unsurprisingly, they dragged you into their two year anniversary, so you were forced to third wheel with them. That was when Aneko found out that you and Akaashi were texting a lot. She gave you hell for it.

 “Four weeks,” Aneko remarked suddenly, crossing her legs as she rested against your bed.

 You glanced up from your homework, “What do you mean?”

 “You have exactly four months to live.” Hugging the pillow in her arms tighter, she looked up at you. “What are you gonna do about it?”

 “What am I supposed to do about it?” You mutter, spinning your chair around to face her. “I’ve done everything I could.”

 “But you haven’t even told him yet!” She countered, clenching her fists.

 “I don’t have to tell him anymore! He…” You trailed off, recalling the words he spoke a few weeks prior. 

                                                   “I like her very much.”

 His words carwled back into your mind and you managed a wry smile. “He said he liked someone. That’s all I heard.”

 “How do you know she isn’t you?” Jumping up from the floor, she shot you a pointed look. “Tell him you like him. There’s no point in both of you liking each other and not acknowledging it by confessing.” 

 “But what if it isn’t me? I’ll ruin a perfectly good friendship,” you argued, folding your arms over your chest as you reciprocated the look.

 She groaned, grabbing hold of your shoulders. “Then he doesn’t deserve you. You have to tell him! The whole story!”

 “No promises,” you laughed, shaking her hands off of you. “Get off!”

 She rolled her eyes, the smile seemingly stuck on her face. “I’m really happy for you, (Y/N).”

 “Thanks, Aneko,” you grinned up at her, “You’ve always supported me with everything.”

 “Then support me with a meal!”

 “Fine.”

 *** 

 Fortunately for you and Aneko, Akaashi had invited you to his usual Wednesday practice with the volleyball team. The whole team treated you like an extra manager, asking you to bring refills if they really needed it. Despite knowing that there were already two managers, you were perfectly happy with helping them out while you could. However, while the team was fine with you joining practice upon invitation, people seemed to take their enthusiasm for you being there an invitation in itself.

 One of those people just happened to be Etsudo Emiko, the blonde girl who confessed to Keiji a few weeks ago. After he plainly rejected her the first time, she decided to take it upon herself to barge into the after school volleyball training. Unfortunately, when the other managers complained about her being a distraction to the team, Etsudo brought up the fact that you were allowed to watch the practices freely. As much as the coach wanted to take their side, he knew that the only way to get rid of Etsudo was to stop allowing you to attend the practices. The problem was, while Etsudo did virtually nothing to help the team, you motivated the team in multiple ways. 

 Nevertheless, Etsudo was allowed to attend the volleyball practices if she didn’t bring anyone else to which she swiftly agreed. Hence, the three weeks of patience testing began.

 “Keiji! You did so good!” Etsudo’s high pitched voice reverberated through the gym.

 The rest of the team let out quiet groans as the girl ran down the stairs to latch onto the setter’s arm. He let out a frustrated sigh, tugging his arm away from her. Not relinquishing, she trailed after him, completely unabashed.

 “Am I the only one who hates her?” Kaori asked, her nose scrunching in disgust as she pumped a volleyball with more air. “You’re the one who likes Akaashi. I’m surprised you can even stand to be in the same room as her.”

 “She’s totally annoying,” Shirofuku Yukie, the other manager, remarked. “The whole team knows that there’s something going on between you and Akaashi.”

 You managed a small smile, “There’s nothing going on between Keiji and me. He probably doesn’t even like me that way.”

 The both gave you a piercing look. “Are you stupid?” They asked together. 

 You don’t respond, eyes trailing back to Keiji. Etsudo was still clinging onto him, pouting up at him with her big green eyes. 

 A small cough erupted from your throat, and a lone petal found its way into the palm of your hand. 

 “I have to go to the bathroom,” you said awkwardly, dropping the ball you were holding to the floor. 

 “Are you-” 

 “I’m fine,” you responded by default, “I’ll be back in ten.”

 With that, you ran out of the gym, a hand over your mouth as more petals dared to fall. 

 Why was the bathroom so far away? 

 You gasped for air as petals and thorns spilled to the ground, your tears following after them. Blue rose buds stained with blood escaped your throat as the metallic taste filled your mouth as dark red thorns scraped the delicate skin. The pads of your fingers dig into the red brick wall, the skin scratching as you dropped to your knees.

 Despite the obvious pain and the salty tears that streaked down your cheeks, you couldn’t help the sarcastic laugh that you let out. 

 “Déjà vu really is the worst.”

 A violent cough erupted once more, and you inhaled a shaky breath as more petals drifted to the concrete floor. As they did, the gentle patting of footsteps distracted you for a moment before the footsteps stopped directly beside you. Panic rose inside your chest. You needed an explanation! 

 While you wracked your brain for an excuse, a hand rested in the middle of your back. 

 “Breathe, (Y/N),” a gentle voice whispered. 

 If you died now, would Aneko kill you? 

 … Probably.

 Your coughing died down after several minutes, and you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. 

 “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, eyes trained to the mess in front of you. 

 “What are you sorry for?” Akaashi questioned, crouching down to be level with you. 

 “I’m disturbing practice, aren’t I? What’s Bokuto gonna do without you?” You shot a teasing smile at him, but it didn’t quite meet your eyes. 

 Keiji sighed at your answer. “Don’t answer with another question, (Y/N).”

 “Sorry,” you said automatically, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

 “Who is it?”

 “What?” You stuttered out a response, looking up at him for a second.

 “Who is it?” He repeated, his gunmetal eyes boring into yours.

 “Why do you want to know?” You asked, getting up from the ground to gather your mess. “It’s not important, anyway.”

 He was silent as he rose to his full 6 feet form looming over you. “Not important?” He repeated, mostly to himself than to you. “How can you say that about yourself?”

 “Well I’m obviously not lying,” you countered, pointing to the floral monstrosity at your feet.

 The muscles in his jaw tightened, and you noticed the way played with his fingers. He was worried – nervous, maybe. “You can die from this. I’m not as oblivious as you think I am.”

 A sarcastic laugh erupts from your throat, but it comes out more as a strangled chuckle. “Sure, Akaashi. Whatever you want to believe.”

 The look on his face darkens, and you avert your eyes from his. When was the last time you used his last name? His watchful eyes glanced over your face, trying to read your emotions. If he could read Bokuto, he would be able to read you, right?

 Absolutely.

 “I know you’re scared, (Y/N). You need help to get better.”

 “Do I, though?” The eye roll you pulled off had you feeling a little guilty, but at this point you were done with everything. “I don’t need to get better.”

 “Why do you keep saying that?” He demanded, the tension in the air growing thicker by the second.

 “Maybe because it’s true!”

 “I’m saying it’s not!”

 He let out a frustrated grunt, eyes shutting for a moment as he thought of what to say. “You mean a lot to everyone.”

 You scoff, “really?”

 “Have you thought about Aneko-san, your parents, the team? What about-” He stops short, shutting his jaw closed as he averted his gaze.

 “What about what?” You ask tentatively, your eyes still fixated on the mess in front of you.

 “… Me.”

 Your eyes flickered to him, the slight hunch of his shoulders as he stood.

 “Have you…” A forced smile made its way onto your face. “Have you considered the possibility that he might be you?”

 The silence that followed seemed to taunt you and you berated yourself internally. Did you hear wrong? Did he say something else? Maybe you were mistaken.

 In split seconds, you felt a pair of gentle arms surround you, wrapping you in warm embrace. You had the slight temptation to laugh – were you in some shoujo manga or something? But instead, you return the hug, burying your face into the crook of his neck.

 “I really like you, Keiji.”

 “… I really like you too.” 

***

~The End~

​Copyright Disclaimer:

All characters except for the reader and my OC’s (listed below) are the work of Haruichi Furudate (古館春一). This is not part of the canon work by any means. I do not claim ownership over the characters or the Haikyuu storyline and plot. Without Furudate Sensei’s work, myself as well as many other writers are unable to create these stories.

 My OC’s:

Fukuhara Aneko(福原あねこ)

Hasegawa Sakura (長谷川さくら)

Emiko Etsudo (えつどうえみこ)

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[ubeb0nes]

The Chief’s Kid Part 1

Ok so, ngl. I don’t much like how this first chapter turned out, but I burned out of energy writing it and I don’t wanna lose interest in writing this story by redoing the first part over and over again. 

So here it is anyways, lmao. I promise that part 2 will be much cleaner. This is just me trying to get off the ground with the story. I’ve decided that this is probably gonna carry on much longer than 12 parts, so that’s good :) 

Enjoy! (if you can)

---

It was stormy that night. The spirits seemed to be particularly angry, beating down with as much water on our heads as they could. Our uniforms were heavier than usual, and we were soaked to the bone before we’d even reached our destination. 

But at the same time, it was a blessing. The rain would make it harder for our targets to make an escape, and they’d never see us coming. 

I stood on a roof right across from our targeted building. A few of my men were at my side, and we all watched intently as the other officers got into position below us. 

The radio crackled quietly, having been turned down to a low volume. Likely nobody would’ve heard it if it’d been louder, given how furiously the sky was raging, but we weren’t going to take chances.

“Squad 3 in position, Captain.”

“Squad 2 in position, Captain.”

“Squad 4 in position, Captain Beifong. On your call.”

I nodded, and one of my officers flipped the radio off. I wiped my now-floppy hair out of my line of sight and narrowed my eyes down at the building. With how much trouble the Terra Triads had given us- given everyone- I’d seriously been considering collapsing the building on their heads. Until we’d found out there were kids involved. 

I retracted the metal from around my right foot, and then slammed it on the ground. Through my mother’s way of sight, I was able to see everything through an echoey, tunnel-like view. There was no exit where Squad 2 was covering, but there was one in the back. When I opened my eyes again, I gestured down below for them to move around to the back. They did so, quickly and quietly. 

After a few beats of waiting to let them reposition I looked back at my men. “Jin, Taro, take the two left windows. Pao, Hanji, the right ones,” I ordered, and they all nodded, “I’ll take the middle. Let’s move!”

Our metal cables sparked and sang as we cast them out to the top of the building, and then swung down to the second level of the building. I glanced down to catch my men crashing through the side windows of the first floor, and then some of them shooting up into the second. 

I turned my shoulder towards the window before I crashed through, and rolled onto the floor. The sound of thunder was drowned out by screams and yells of fright , and I was immediately thrown into combat mode. 

I stomped my foot on the ground and raised a good chunk of the floor up, jabbing at a firebender as he tried to blitz me. The rock caught him and took him with it to the wall. The earth buzzed beneath me, urging me to turn around. And so I did, arcing a kick around as I went and smacking another thug squarely in the fact with a rock. 

“Captain!” Pao called out to me. I snapped my gaze towards him. He was pinned down near the wall by two earthbenders, tanking as many shots as he could manage but he was fading.

I sprinted over and whistled at Jin as I neared him. Wordlessly, he stuck his hand out to offer me a boost. I jumped up, and with a loud cry, I slammed my hand into the ground when I landed. Two pillars jumped from the floor, ramming the two into the ceiling with a crack before sinking back down. 

Pao nodded at me. “The kids are supposed to be in the basement,” he said. 

“Then let’s hurry.”

Pao was the Captain of the Metalbending Police’s Special Corps, the best ambush and combat team the RCPD had to offer. Barring me just having to save his ass, he was the best to have alongside you in a fight. 

We barreled through everyone that stood in our way as we made our way down to the first floor. We didn’t stop to fight, Spirits only know what could be happening to those children as the seconds winded down. 

I vaulted over a table and pushed my arms out, causing the trapdoor that led into the basement to swing open. Pao and I jumped through, and the yells we heard this time around were much more adolescent. 

I couldn’t help but gape for a moment at the sight before me. None of them could’ve been over the age of nine or ten. It was all little girls, lined up in chains along the wall looking less dignified than cattle. Some of them were naked. All of them were bruised and battered. 

I remembered what mom had told me before she’d left, advising me with what I’d need to know for when I eventually became Chief. 

“You’re going to have horrible, gruesome things come across your desk. And it’s never going to stop, no matter how good you are, Lin. So find some peace in knowing that.”

“Let’s get these kids out of here. Hurry!” I said. Pao and I circled our hands around, then splayed our fingers out. The shackles around each of the kids fell to the floor, but none of them moved towards us. Something tingled in my feet, telling me that this wasn’t right. 

Then the basement door slammed shut. 

I heard a rock crash into something, and Pao crying out in pain. “Pao!” I turned around just in time to be rocked in the jaw with a rock. I fell to the ground with a grunt, cursing when I saw Pao lying not so far away, soundly unconscious. I looked up to see a figure standing over me, a rock raised above his head, but the world was spinning too quickly around me. 

I gritted my teeth as I stared my fate defiantly in the eye, silently apologizing to the kids behind me. 

But that quick blow of the end never came. Instead, I heard that sick, cold sound of metal entering skin. But it wasn’t mine. 

I let out a groan as the world slowed down and eventually stopped spinning around me, and dragged myself to my feet. The earthbender fell as I rose, and I stared down at him with wide eyes. What looked like one of the shackles had been bent into something like a weapon, a sharp, haphazardly piece of shrapnel. And it was sticking out of his back. 

My gaze slowly traveled back up, and I met the eye of a little girl. Her hands were splayed out in front of her, like she was reaching out to the man on the floor. She’d killed him. 

And, as a result, saved me. 

---

“‘S the matter, rookie? Nervous?” Pao asked me. The van passed over a bump in the road, and jumped up and down with a ba-dump. 

I gave him an incredulous look and smiled. “I’ve never had the decency to be nervous,” I replied. Pao laughed heartily and slapped me on the back, like we were headed to the bar rather than a Terra Triad holdup. Everybody else looked like they were at ease too. Which made sense, I guess. I was the only rookie here. Everybody else had been doing stuff like this like clockwork for over a decade. 

“Did I ever tell you about the first time your mom coordinated an ambush?” He asked. 

I made a face. “Wasn’t I there?” 

“No, that was a little while later.”

“Pao, Beifong, can it,” mom- or rather, Chief Beifong- snapped at us. Pao raised his hands placatingly, while I cowered back sheepishly. Mom held onto a hook overhead, the only one standing in the moving vehicle. I stared up at her with wide eyes. 

This was who my mother was. An intense leader, with a perpetual glare that scared the shit out of even the people she cared about most. I’d seen her fight (well, spar), and she looked relaxed at worst and amused at best. Neither of those qualities lined her face right now. 

The van slowly came to a stop, and I looked out the front window. We’d parked behind a building two blocks down from where we were headed. We’d move the rest of the way across the building tops. I inhaled slowly and then exhaled, and pulled on my helmet. I started to stand up, but a hand pushed me back down. I looked up and met my mother’s stern expression. 

“Not so fast, rookie. We still have a briefing,” she said. 

I nodded. “Sorry, ma’am.” She squeezed my shoulder subtly, before folding her hands behind her back and facing the rest of the Special Corps Team. 

“Our mole said the hostages are going to be on the airship in the hangar. I’ll lead Squad 2 on the rescue,” she proclaimed. I looked around. Squad 2 was me, Jung, and Yen. Two of the older veterans and the ‘little baby’, as I’d been dubbed. “Squads 1 and 3 will coordinate as we discussed earlier. Any questions?” Mom didn’t even give enough time for someone to open their mouths, “Good. Now let’s get this over with.” 

The back doors of the van opened and we silently filed out. 

“What a briefing,” I muttered to Pao. 

“Your mama doesn’t mince words,” he replied quietly, “Now focus, rookie.”

“Jung, Yen, rookie. With me,” the Chief called. We all stepped towards her, and followed her lead as she threw out her metal cable and shot up to the roof. The others maneuvered through the dark alleys below, and their stealth uniforms coupled with the pitch-black darkness of the street made them quickly fade away. 

We made our way across the buildings quickly and quietly. I was smiling under my mask as I hopped over ledges and vaulted over ridge vents. It was like we were going on a parkour run, only there were crack dealers and murderers at our destination. 

We finally came to a halt at the building across from the port warehouses, and crouched down low as a security light sweeped over us. 

“Rookie,” the Chief barked. 

“Ma’am?”

“Locate the hangar,” she ordered. 

I nodded, and promptly retracted my metal shoe. It made sense that mom would ask me to do it. I’d proved to have a stronger seismic sense than her (maybe because I might as well have been as blind as Grandma Toph). I furrowed my brow as I searched through the ground, until I located a mass of heartbeats clumped together in one of the warehouses further down. 

“Second closest one to the dock on the left,” I whispered. 

“You sure, rook?” Jung asked. 

I blinked twice at him. “...Yeah.”

“Any guards?”

“There’re fifteen people in there.”

“Eight hostages, right Chief?”

Mom hummed as she contemplated our next move. I touched her shoulder, half-expecting to get shrugged off, but she looked at me expectantly.

“We have the element of surprise. We can take ‘em,” I insisted. Truth be told, I just wanted to fight. But that was the type of statement that would get me a smack in the head instead of a scrap. 

My mom looked me in the eye as if searching for that masochistic desire of mine. When I hid it well, she let out a resigned sigh. “...Fine. Let’s move underground,” she said. We all nodded, and jumped down to the back alley, then spiraled ourselves into the ground. 

---

We popped back up at the back door of the hangar, between the tall building and the endless expanse of water on Yue Bay. My mom signaled for Jung and Yen to take one side of the door, while the two of us crouched on the other. 

I grinned underneath my mask as I clenched and unclenched my fists. Something told me this might end up being more fun than any Pro-Bending match I’d been in. 

“Three are on the far right, three are guarding the aircraft. The last one is at the front door,” my mom whispered, “Jung, Yen, secure the aircraft. Beifong and I will take care of the rest.” We all nodded dutifully at her, and shifted into a more explosive position. Jung stood in front of the door, his hands poised behind his waist to blast the door through. 

I shook the tension out of my hands, and then settled into my fighting stance. The Chief tapped my shoulder twice. Her own little way of saying ‘be careful’, which had sprouted from my Pro-Bending days. I scoffed quietly, but gave her a reassuring look. She turned to Jung, and nodded. 

“Now!” 

Jung pushed his hands forward, and the door was blasted in. I stomped on the ground, and the earth beneath propelled me through the doorway. Jung and Yen ran past, making a beeline for the aircraft. 

Mom and I headed right. I lunged forward and reached towards the ground, awake and rumbling beneath me. It rippled and shook, then crashed against two of the guards before they even knew what hit them. 

Metal cables rang out as my mom shot them at the remaining guard. He extended a metal blade and cut through the cable. 

I stomped on the ground and raised a rock into the air. Mom stepped forward and kicked it squarely. The guard dove out of the way just in time, but I whirled around and slung a rock in the direction he was diving. 

I let out a laugh in spite of myself. “That was fun!” I exclaimed, bouncing on my heels. Mom shot me a withering glare, and I averted my gaze sheepishly. 

A yell from the airship ripped me from my embarrassment, and we both watched as the guard at the front door rushed towards it. 

“You get in the aircraft, help out Jung and Yen!” Mom barked, “I’ll take care of him.”

I hesitated. “You sure, mom?” I asked a little quieter. 

“Don’t worry about me, kid. Now do as I say!” She snapped. I nodded reluctantly, and made my way towards the aircraft while mom took care of the lone guard. 

I bent my foreguard into a blade as I came crashing through the window of the control car. I landed with a roll, and took a half-second to see my opposition. 

There were definitely more than three guards. I sighed inwardly, making a mental note to make sure I did all the seismic sensing from now on. Then I darted forward. 

Fire lit up the control room while metal creaked and whined. Three guards descended on me all at once, but I had more than enough experience fighting in small spaces to take them. I bobbed and weaved around until they were all standing on the same panel of metal. 

I slammed my foot into the floor, and the panel shot up, ramming all three of them into the ceiling with a collective cry. 

I smirked as I bent the panel to hook onto the ceiling, and threw the guards a small wave as they struggled and squirmed.

“I’ll come back for you later,” I chimed, “You’re going to jail, by the way.” I heard one of them mutter a ‘duh’ as I left, and snickered to myself. 

When I got to the main haul, Jung and Yen were finishing tying up a couple of guards. Behind them, the eight hostages (mom had gotten that number right) stood anxiously. “Are we good?” I asked. 

Yen nodded. “You handle those three guys by yourself?” She asked. 

I huffed. “Yeah. Thanks for helping me out.”

“We wanted to see if you could handle it,” Jung said, “Yen owes me twenty yuans. Thanks, kid.” 

“Then I better get half of that,” I quickly said. This could be a nice side hustle…

I looked at the hostages, and frowned slightly. “Let’s get these people out of here.” 

Metal footsteps from behind caused us all to turn. My mom looked at us oddly, and then back into the control room. “Why are there people on the ceiling?” She asked hesitantly, and looking slightly fearful for the answer. 

“I’ll get ‘em off later,” I said, “Should I take these people back to the vans, Chief?” 

The Chief nodded, expression quickly sobering back into seriousness. “Jung, Yen, we’re going to the main warehouse. That’s where the rest of them are holding up.”

“I’ll meet you there-” I started.

Mom swiveled her steely gaze on me. “No. You stay with the hostages. If we’re not back there in twenty minutes, call reinforcements and head back to the station,” she barked. 

My stomach sank. I was being sidelined? 

“Chief, I can-”

“Do as I say, rookie.”

“...Yes, ma’am.” 

---

“You know Chief, she’s more than capable of holding her own,” Jung said once Aiko and the hostages had all filed out. I shot him a look, but he’d been in my service too long to waver. “Kid’s good.”

“Thank the Spirits you’re not in charge Jung, lest we have a rookie killed because you ordered her into a situation she’s not ready for,” I said. Jung raised his hands placatingly. “Squads 1 and 3 are already at the warehouse. Let’s move.”

When we got to the warehouse, we were immediately greeted by a repository turned battlefield. It seemed like everybody in the Terra Triads and their mothers had decided to show up at the port. We were soundly outnumbered. 

“Chief, what do we do?” Yen yelled over the commotion. 

I gritted my teeth. We needed to shut down their port operation. Not only would they have their emboldened numbers if we didn’t, but they’d have technology. 

“Pick up our fallen, get them back to the vans,” I ordered, “We’ll hold it down here.” The two of them nodded, and moved to pick up the injured and unconscious. I took to covering them as they went, fending off any Terra Triad that tried to pounce them. 

I shot out my metal cable at one of them, and threw him into another as he ran forward. One of them charged at me from the side, grabbing onto my midsection and pushing me back. I growled, bringing down my elbow on the back of his neck and let him slide to the floor. 

I looked back at Jung and Yen, who were both hauling two men apiece on their backs. “Tell Aiko to call reinforcements!” I yelled. 

“Chief!” Jung called to me. I looked at him, eyebrows raised. He smirked sardonically at me. “You were right. Sorry.” I scoffed, shaking my head. 

“Of course I was right,” I replied.

With that, the two of them sprinted off. I turned back to the battlefield. 

The air was heavy with loss and struggle. My officers were suffocating right now. Skilled as they were, the Terra Triads were crawling from every crack and crevice. 

Well. This’ll be a lot of paperwork. 

---

“Is anybody else injured?” I asked, rising to my feet once I finished wrapping one man’s arm. He’d been slashed in warning by one of the thugs. When nobody raised their voice and I didn’t see any pools of blood, I nodded resolutely. 

“You’re a bit young for an officer, aren’t you?” One of them asked in a scratchy and parched voice. I turned around to face the woman that’d spoken, who smiled kindly at me. 

“Maybe ma’am, but I’m pretty good,” I said, grinning brightly under my mask. I perked up at the sound of heavy footsteps, and my smile soon disappeared. Jung and Yen were both running towards the van, two injured men resting on each of their shoulders. One of them was Pao. 

I hopped down from the van and quickly took Pao off of Jung’s shoulders. “What happened?” I demanded. 

“I tripped,” Pao said sarcastically. 

“Seriously, Pao!”

“One of those guys… ngh… caught me in my side,” he gestured to a bloody injury near his stomach. 

I let out a sigh, trying to force down the twisting in my stomach. Some first mission this was turning out to be. “Alright, lay down here,” I said, settling Pao in the back of the van before starting to help Jung and Yen with the others. 

Pao grabbed my wrist before I could. “Aiko,” he said gruffly, and then pausing to cough, “You gotta help her, kid.”

“Is she okay?” I demanded. 

“Survivin’. For now.” And with that, he let go of my wrist. I turned towards Jung and Yen, both of them still trying to catch their breath. 

“There’s too many,” Jung said shortly, “Call- huff- call reinforcements, Aiko.” I nodded, and went to the front of the van. 

“Take these people back to the department. Wire them for reinforcements on the way,” I said to the driver. Once we’d loaded the other officers in, he sped off back to headquarters. I adjusted my mask on my face and started for the warehouse. “Where’re you going?” Jung asked. 

“Back to the warehouse.”

He grabbed my arm as I passed by him and looked at me sternly. “The Chief ordered you to stay here.”

I wrenched my arm out of his grip furiously. Jung was only following what my mother ordered, but it felt like more of a betrayal to her than anything else. “She’s my mom, Jung!” I exclaimed. 

“And it’s not your job to protect her! She's the Chief, she'll be alright,” He replied. I glared witheringly at him, but I just didn’t have the intimidation factor that my mom did. “You know why she ordered you to stay here. And so that’s what you’re going to do,” he said firmly. 

Oh, like hell. “No the hell it’s not,” I snapped at him. And before he or Yen could stop me, I catapulted myself into the air, shooting a metal cable out towards the warehouse. I heard Jung call my name, but it soon faded the further I got.

If they’d really wanted to stop me, they could’ve cut my line or shot theirs out to snag me. But even Jung didn’t have the nerve to separate me from my mom. 

---

Finally. The momentum had decided to sway into our favor, as we all started to become less of disciplined soldiers and more of desperate brawlers. The Triads were on their last leg, their numbers no longer multiplying endlessly. And we’d have reinforcements soon to help finish the job. 

But I hadn’t been able to get through scot-free. I was fighting on a limp now, doing more hobbling and shuffling than I was swinging and attacking. I’d landed on my ankle wrong after two of the more adept fighters of the Triads had ganged up on me. 

I grimaced as pain shot up through my ankle while I weaved around an attack, the pain dull but biting even through the adrenaline. I could only imagine what kind of hell it was going to feel like once the dust settled. 

We were pushing back, but we weren’t winning. My men were still dropping off like flies. If we didn’t get those reinforcements soon, then I was going to be suffering much more than a twisted ankle. 

The injury proved to be too much of a hindrance, slowing me down just a tick. And just a tick was all my opponent needed to slam me with a rock, wailing me across the warehouse and into the wall. I let out a loud cry as something in my shoulder cracked, and I sank to the floor in pain. 

“Oh, well that’s just great,” I muttered to myself through gritted teeth. 

“Damn,” the thug wheezed as he approached me, “I’m gonna get to tell the boss I took down Chief Beifong. Wasn’t all that hard, either.” He laughed victoriously to himself. 

“I’m not through,” I growled at him as I stumbled to my feet. I must’ve looked pitiful. 

Slowly, I tried to raise my hands in a defensive stance. When my right shoulder roared at the effort, I let it drop uselessly with a growl, and was left to hold up only a single fist. I’d figure a way to make it work. I had to. 

Or… maybe not. 

I watched- rather dumbly- as a flash of black and gold bulleted at the thug, tackling him to the ground with an angry cry. I looked up in relief to see fresh reinforcements start to flood in, but then back at the initial attacker. And I nearly had a brain aneurysm. 

Aiko. She had the Terra Triad pinned beneath her now, forgetting (or maybe rejecting) her bending in favor of bloodying her own fists. She rained punches down mercilessly on his mug, and when he reached weakly to stop her, she picked up his face and slammed him back into the floor. 

“Aiko!” I snapped, limping towards her. She continued her beatdown, teeth bared and eyes wide. I hurried over and yanked her away from the now-unconscious body. “That’s enough, rookie,” I said. She pushed against me, but I was still a little stronger than her. But I let out a wince as I stepped back on my bad ankle. 

It was then that Aiko finally saw me. “Mama,” she said worriedly, catching me as I stumbled. 

“You disobeyed my orders,” I grumbled weakly. 

“But-”

“There's no but's about it, Aiko,” I snapped, even as she helped me out of the warehouse. I looked around to see the remaining stragglers being quickly neutralized by our more energized forces. I let out a sigh. This wasn't feeling like much of a win. “I shouldn't have brought you on this mission.”

“If you hadn't, you'd be dead right now.”

I was too livid to answer her. So what if I'd died? I was the Chief of Police, it wasn't her job to worry about my welfare. It was the other way around. 

For Spirits’ sake, the kid was only seventeen. Even younger than I'd been when I first started out. Maybe she was good. Maybe she was talented. But she was a child. My child. 

“Mama. Mama, look, I'm… sorry,” she said. I could hear her voice straining with the apology. The typical Beifong pride. 

I shook my head. “I'll chew you out later, trust me. For now,” I let out a pained groan, “Get me back to the department.”

---

SLAM!

I let out a sigh as the door shut behind Aiko (who I’d just finished my promised chewing out with), pinching my brow with my good arm. The healer was still working on my ankle. 

She shot a questioning look towards the door, then back to me. “She's very strong for her age,” she commented. When I gave her a look, she added, “Carrying you all the way up here by herself like she did.”

I hummed half heartedly. “Sure. But she's about as stubborn as five earthbenders in one,” I quipped. 

The healer chuckled easily, and I shot her a glare that would've been more intense if she wasn't responsible for my wellbeing. “If I were you, I'd be grateful to have a daughter that cared so deeply for me. They're not usually so unconcerned with themselves at that age,” she said. 

“I don't need your advice on parenthood, thank you,” I snapped, “I'd like to have my ankle healed, my shoulder repositioned, and to get the hell out of here.” 

The healer didn't look the least bit phased. Was I losing my edge? It was probably the kid’s fault. “She's a good kid, Chief Beifong. Maybe a little reckless, but there are worse things.”

I stayed silent. It wasn't like I could disagree with the healer. Aiko really was remarkable. So much so that someone on the outside might even be able to rightfully say a parent’s worry was unwarranted. 

And yet, here we were. 

“She's my- she's a rookie,” I said, “She made a call that was explicitly against my orders. Hell. I should have her fired for insubordination.” 

The healer laughed merrily. “According to your tirade from earlier, it sounded like a simple case of a protective mother and her stubbornly heroic child,” she replied, “I think it's sweet.” 

I let out a loud huff in reply. This… this was the price of letting my kid become a cop. Yet another layer of worry atop the whole damn cake. And it was the thickest of them all. 

Aiko was good. But I just knew this was going to bite me in the ass sooner or later. It'd been me that took the brunt of it tonight. But only the Spirits know what I'd do if- when- Aiko would suffer down the line. 

--- 

The back door of the department screeched as I opened it, and stepped back out into the chilled air of Republic City. I checked my watch. It was almost three in the morning now, but long nights of the winter were going to keep any brightness away for a long while. And I was still too jittery from the mission to feel the exhaustion yet. 

I kicked a pebble and scuffed the sole of my shoe as I stood at the edge of the sidewalk. I then closed my eyes and focused on the city sounds (which never faded, in a town that was perpetually awake). Mom always told me to do that whenever I wanted to calm down. 

Mom. My stomach sank, and so did I to the edge of the sidewalk. Slamming the door like that back there would've warranted a deserving ass-beating from any less merciful (or injured) parent. I let out a sigh. 

“I expect better from you.”

Her words, filled with all their sharpness and spite, kept echoing in my head. 

“Ugh…” I muttered to myself, cradling my face in my hands. 

No matter what mom said or how disappointed she was, I didn't regret what I did one bit. But a simple ‘thank you’ would've been nice. Would've been more than nice, actually. I was starting to wonder what it was gonna take for those two words. 

“Hey, Beifong? That you?” A voice further up the sidewalk called. 

I perked up, taking my face out of my hands. “Yeah?” I called back at the silhouette. As the figure walked forward, I realized that it was Koru, one of the guys from my graduating class. He was working in communications. “Hey, Koru.”

“Hey,” he replied, waving at me with a hand that contained a telegram, “This just got wired over to the station. It's for you.” 

I took the message with a knowing smile. “Thanks a lot,” I said. 

“No problem.” 

As he walked away, I turned my attention back to the telegram. In bold letters near the top left corner, SUYIN BEIFONG was etched into the paper.

I was still smiling brightly. The last telegram I’d gotten from my aunt had been almost a month ago, after my graduation. I quickly got to reading it. 

Dear Aiko, 

I hope you're doing well! Your cousins and your Uncle Baatar all say hello, and urge you to come visit as soon as you can. Ever since they saw you in the papers, the kids have been wanting to meet you. They think you're a celebrity! To which I told them you might as well be. 

I chuckled quietly. I made a mental note to write her back and ask her to ask Junior to start writing me too. We were the same age, and Aunt Su made it out to seem we'd get along well. 

How is your mom? I would ask you to tell her I wish her the best, but I wouldn't want to invoke her wrath upon you.

You’re so much like her yet so different, you know. Admittedly, you have a little bit of me in you (don't tell your mom that, though), but you deciding to follow in the footsteps of your mother just screams Lin. Which reminds me to tell you to be careful, please. You’re stubborn and strong-willed (a Beifong trademark), but don't let that be a disservice to you. Your work is very dangerous. 

Which is why I hope that you went into the force with your heart invested in it alongside your body. Lin might say otherwise, but I know better. She didn't become a cop because she loved it, but because she wanted to please our mother. 

Do what's best for you. If that means being a cop, then by all means, continue. But if you feel the need to escape, then do so. I highly recommend traveling. 

Heh. Of course she'd recommend traveling. 

Remember, you'll always be welcome to Zaofu. Lin as well, though she might not appreciate that as much. Give her a hard time for me please, since I'm not around to do it myself. 

Sending you all the hugs and kisses from your second home, 

Aunt Su

PS: Your birthday gift should arrive within the week of your special day. I hope you like it. 

I folded the telegram and tucked it into my coat, feeling significantly more warmed up now. I looked up at the sky, bluish-grey with all the Republic City lights it had to reflect. But just a few stars made it through, and peeked and winked at me. 

“Thanks, auntie,” I whispered with a small chuckle, “And don't worry, I'll give her the hardest time.” 

My aunt was the matriarch of the Metal Clan in Zaofu, a city near the Earth Kingdom made entirely of metal. I knew her face from pictures in mom’s photo album. But something about the way mom looked at that album made me decide against asking about my mysterious aunt and grandma. And so I did my own research. Of course, it didn't take much looking. And Aunt Su had been over the moon elated when I'd sent her my first telegram. 

That was three years ago now. Since then, she'd sent me telegrams and pictures religiously, but I always had to make sure I got to the errand boy before mom could. This familial correspondence was my best kept secret. 

I stroked my chin as I started to contemplate what my birthday gift could possibly be. If she sent me a meteorite, I was going to freak out- mom probably would too. 

I grimaced. Hopefully it was something more subtle, something that wouldn't become a noticeable new decoration in my room. 

“Kid, what are you doing out here? It's freezing,” a voice from behind me said. I hadn't even heard the door open. 

I looked back to see my mom, who was limping only slightly as she moved to stand next to me. I held my hand subconsciously to my coat, the telegram crumpling quietly. “Mama, you alright?” I asked. She waved me off before handing me one of the coffees she was holding. “Thanks,” I said, and practically chugged it in my gratefulness. I let out a sigh as the black coffee flowed down and warmed my stomach. 

With a tired sigh, mom shifted to sit on the curb next to me. We drank our coffee in comfortable silence, simply appreciating the peace. 

Damn. This was gonna be life now. Gang raids and near-death situations were going to be weekly. And the paperwork. I let out a groan, not all too excited about coming into work tomorrow- or rather, in five hours. 

“Something the matter?” Mom asked. 

I shook my head. “Nah. Just tired. I just… can't believe this is my life now,” I replied. 

Mom gave me a look I couldn't quite decipher. “You know, you… you did well today. In spite of blatantly disregarding my orders.” I blinked wide-eyed at her. She turned away from me with a growl. “Don't look at me like that, kid. That's the highest compliment you're going to receive from me until you straighten out.” 

I smiled sheepishly, before resting my elbows tiredly on my knees. “Hey, uh, Chief… I’m sorry,” I said, she cocked a brow at me. 

“You already apologized.”

“No, I'm sorry for giving you an attitude in the med wing. I get it, I'm a rookie, I'm just not ready yet-”

“That's not-” mom stopped herself short with a sigh, brows pulled in almost angrily. I looked off to the side in guilt. 

The guys in the special corps said I was remarkable. A talent. Hell, dare some of them say the best since my own mom. But what'd any of that mean if the Chief herself didn't believe it? 

“Look, kid. This work, it's dangerous,” she said sternly, drawing my gaze back to her, “No matter how hard I try, I lose at least one of my men every year. This city’s a breeding ground for crime. If something were to happen to you, I don't know what I'd-” she stopped herself short, and I caught a rare glimpse of vulnerability nobody else saw from my mom but me. 

I leaned towards her earnestly. “Mom, you know I can handle this. I was the product of all that before you found me!” I saw her flinch at that statement, eyes twitching ever so slightly. But I didn't waver. “I just…” I sighed stubbornly. “I just wanna help you, okay?” I said softly, “I know you're gonna tell me you don't need my help, but you can't be the best forever. Somebody’s gotta look out for you.” 

Mom’s gaze shifted from troubled to- well, maybe a little less troubled. 

“Is that why you gave up Pro-Bending? To help me?” She asked. 

I cringed a little. A part of me would always yearn to go back to the game, back to where everything was a little more humble, with the highest stake not being a life, but a loss. Where fighting was for glory, not for justice. 

I felt a little out of touch without it, like I was without that balance mom had always told me was so important for an earthbender. But the reason for my exit far outweighed the pit in my stomach. I was going to stand by my mom no matter where it took me. 

“It's not important, mom.”

“Aiko-”

“Look, can we go home? I'm really tired. And we've gotta come back in like, five hours,” I said. 

She scrutinized me for one extremely terrifying moment, but eventually found that she was too tired to hold onto the subject as well. With a resigned nod, she held her hand out to me, pulling me up with her from the curb. 

As we walked towards the parking lot, she wrapped an arm tightly around my shoulders. 

“You're a good kid, Aiko. I'm lucky to have you.”

“Heh. Thanks, mama.” 

That was more than I’d been expecting to hear that night. 

---

And that’s a 6000+ word sh**storm wrapped up right there. Sheesh. And it was out almost a week after I’d promised to put it out, jc. I’ll try to have part 2 up by next week, here’s to hoping it’s much better! Regardless, I hope u enjoyed this, or at least enjoyed making fun of it. If you have any tips or things you’d like to see in the story, pls let me know! :3

tags: (small gang but i like it :D) @themost-obsessivefangirl @inter-net

[peachdoxie]

Alright, alright, time to read chapter 9 of Rhythm of War!

Pewter, augmenters, force. That tracks with Mistborn lore.

***

So, the emotional torture of Kaladin Stormblessed continues.

"Instinctively, he searched out the soldiers of Bridge Four."

I crei

"Kaladin opened his eyes as Syl flew up in the form of a miniature Fourth Bridge. She often took the shape of natural things, but this one seemed extra odd. It didn’t belong in the sky. One might argue that Kaladin didn’t either."

That's a big oof right there, with Kaladin implicitly questioning whether he actually should be allowed to ride the winds.

"It happens whenever you run out of Stormlight. As if… you can only keep going while it’s in you."

Sounds kinda like allochemical savantism ngl

Please just give Kaladin some therapy for once.

Teft: "Oh, shut up, Kal."

Me: thank goodness there's someone willing to be blunt with Kaladin so that he slows his depressive spiral.

Reminds me of this moment in the last chapter of Oathbringer:

“It doesn’t get easier, Teft,” he said. “It gets harder, I think, the more you learn about the Words. Fortunately, you do get help. You were mine when I needed it. I’ll be yours.”

Also, yay for Laran swearing the Third Ideal. But now that means there are no unbonded honorspren.

"And the time when Lopen had nearly died a few months back."

EXCUSE ME?????

I hope that has something to do with Dawnshard.

***"

“Why would the tower have a device to suppress the powers of Radiants? It was their home."

Now that's something. Though Navani also thinks it could have suppressed the Fused's powers, so...

“Soulcasters manifested as small unresponsive spren, hovering with their eyes closed. So the Soulcasters did have a captured spren. A Radiant spren, judging by their shape. Intelligent, rather than the more animal-like spren captured to power normal fabrials."

Well that's some fucking lore right there with some implications that I'm really not sure about shoves another piece of evidence to my Sibling theory

"The Soulcaster cache discovered in Aimia earlier in the year had brought an incredible boon to the coalition armies."

Guess we know part of what happens in Dawnshard, then. But also, how the fuck did they get onto Aimia (probably a Windrunner flying them) and also why did Aimia have this cache in the first place? Is this why the Sleepless were guarding the island so strongly? While the Soulcasters are a boon, for sure, I also fear that there was a reason why they were being held there, and that makes me worried. The Sleepless know things and have been watching our heroes for a while.

Yo wtf who left the spanreed ruby for Navani, and how did no one notice it being left? Or was it placed by a spy?

"You are the monster Navani Kholin. You have caused more pain than any living person."

First of all, what the fuck. Second of all, I guess she's in good company marrying Dalinar if she's also a monster who causes pain....

"The honorspren cannot be trusted. Not anymore."

Ho-ley shit. What the FUCK does that mean? Is this a cultural thing, or like...an intrinsic feature of the honorspren? Can we still trust Syl?

Also, what "new kind of fabrial" is the writer talking about?

“Navani couldn’t get any further responses from the mysterious woman or ardent who had written to her.”

Funny, Navani is married to a man who can write, and yet she still assumes that it was a woman or ardent who had written this. Numerically, if all people who can write are weighted equally, she’d be right. But someone this involved in deep lore may not even be human, let alone a woman or ardent. I wonder if this will come back to bite Navani in the ass.

***

“He’d removed his jacket, and the shirt beneath reminded her of when he came to their rooms after sparring. He always wanted to bathe immediately, and she… well, she rarely let him. Not until she was done with him, at least.”

This is what counts as a sex scene in a Branderson book.

“She pulled closer, and couldn’t help imagining it. What he would do if he knew the real her. If he knew all the things she’d actually done.

It wasn’t just about him. What if Pattern knew? Dalinar? Her agents?

They would leave, and her life would become a wasteland. She’d be alone, as she deserved. Because of the truths she hid, her entire life was a lie. Shallan, the one they all knew best, was the fakest mask of them all.“

Oh Shallan. I wonder if part of her Fourth Ideal will be about not just confronting the truth she lives, but about telling others about it.

Huh. So Veil emerged when Shallan was at her most distraught. Veil also said that she didn’t kill Ialai, but does that necessarily mean that one of the others didn’t? There was that one moment when Shallan!Shallan’s “mind began to fuzz” when Veil asked if one of them killed her. Hmm.

And okay, so there’s a fourth persona that Shallan is trying not to create. That persona scares Veil, for whatever reason (wtf). Also, the name “formless/Formless” seems somewhat in parallel with the use of the word “form” by the listeners.

Lmao, Shallan’s basically just listing half of the secret societies on Roshar, and those are only the ones she knows about.

“Those likely made sense to him, as he’d taken battlefield reports on them. The shadowy groups moving at night, on the other hand, were something he couldn’t fight directly. Dealing with them was to be her job.”

Normal Vorin couples: the woman does the ledgers and organizing while the men go do hard labor

Shadolin: Adolin fights the soldiers while Shallan fights the secret societies

“Nalathis. Scadarial. Tal Dain.”

*high pitched shrieking noises*

And Thaidakar. Who- or whatever that is.

***

OKay, so some shit happened in this chapter. Kaladin is falling more and more into a depressive spiral. Navani is getting letters from people unknown telling her to stop making new fabrials (though not with any direct threats). Shallan is still struggling to tell Adolin things.

Can’t wait for next week!

[cncoh-damn]

Director AU

In which (Y/N) is an aspiring director/producer whose mother and father are a director and producer respectively. And did we mention that they own what’s possibly the biggest production company on the planet?

General Headcanons:

you’ve got a squad of your own, and the ages are practically identical with the guys’ ages. except for the part where you’re born in 2000 and not 2001, unlike Erick. and your squad has twins, they don’t.

each member of your group has like this persona that everyone associates with said member.

the oldest of your group is Elodie Bauer, who isn’t really the most mature person, but damn if she can’t throw a party. it’s kind of why everyone calls her the Party Animal. 

then there are the twins, Kiana and Kiara Mirren, whose parents just so happen to own the biggest talent agency in the Western hemisphere. between the two of them, Kiara is much more quiet and demure, though she has a reputation for being unpredictable, hence her reputation as the Wildcard. unlike her twin, Kiana is a creature of habit, and one of them includes being the mom friend. for a while, you all considered referring her to as such, but it didn't quite sit right. Sweetheart, on the other hand, did.

the second youngest is Alexandria Roxas, a half-Filipino whose family belongs to a successful line of celebrity entrepreneurs. with her flair for the dramatics, everyone took to calling her Drama Queen, something she takes as a compliment despite the obvious negative connotations.

finally, there’s you, (Y/N) (L/N), and your parents own a production company known for hugely successful films, be they foreign or not. as you aspire to be a producer and director, you picked up quite a few tricks, especially in editing, but this isn’t where your greatest asset lies. despite being the youngest of your group, your professionalism and maturity are second to no one in your age range, earning you the title of Girlboss.

How You Met:

you first met the guys on the set of Reggaeton Lento Remix, when Jade came over to meet them while they (CNCO) shot their parts of the music video.

honestly you were just there to grab the footage so you could start editing

but then they weren’t done yet so you just went to a corner and started editing the footage you did have

like after you introduced yourself to them, the director told you that they weren’t done filming so you just went  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ before plopping down in a corner

the guys were kinda weirded out/intimidated bc you sounded hella professional even if you looked like you were Erick’s age

but it lowkey didn’t stop Chris and Erick from tossing a few flirty comments your way

and then when they were done you introduced yourself again but in a nicer and chiller way

Before: “(Y/N) (L/N), I’ll be editing the video and splicing the footage together.”

After: “Hi, I’m (Y/N), and I’m really excited to work with you guys!”

the difference was staggering

plus you wound up as a translator of sorts that day because GOOD LORD JADE’S ACCENT IS DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND EVEN IF YOUR FIRST LANGUAGE IS ENGLISH

not that you minded, you had a Spanish test the next day and it really brushed up your skills so yaaaaaayyyy

still, they were all kinda shookt af when they found out you were just a year older than Erick

Jade: Yeah, she’s a lot more machuad (y’all know this is how she pronounces matured lmao) than most kids her age.

Relationships With Them:

Christopher Velez:

ooh boi

first time you met, you literally didn’t believe he was the oldest

Chris thought you were vvvvvv cute, let’s just get that out of the way

and he flirted with you a lil bit

but you didn't notice bc you were editing

BUT you did give him a random compliment

like you looked up and he was fixing his hair

and then you said "Su pelo se ve bien" in accented asf Spanish and he was shookt

but he appreciated the compliment

and then you went back to editing before he could strike up a conversation whoops

but then y'all went to dinner and ofc you tagged along, and even if his English wasn't as good as Joel's or Richard's, he understood enough to know when you exposed someone

and he's like "damn mami is savage"

tl;dr: You're oblivious to his flirting but he's a fan of how savage you can get.

much later, you two become close bc you wind up laughing at Erick's jokes at the exact same time

Richard Camacho:

like with Chris, you didn't notice him much bc you were editing

but you managed to hold a minute-long conversation with him bc they were on break and you didn't know where the bathroom was

plus he was the first one you saw (and ngl, you were more comfortable speaking to him bc you’re both short)

so you shuffled up to him and was like “Um, sorry to bother you but... Where’s the bathroom?”

RICHUKI WAS SHOOK

the difference was, as said before, pretty shocking

total 180 degree turn from mature and professional to awkward and smol

he gave you directions ofc and internally you were like phew he speaks English bc it’d be awkward af on your part if you had to repeat it in Spanish

so during dinner you wound up sitting across him

and you have this habit of swinging your legs a little when bored, so you might’ve accidentally kicked him a bit

when you noticed that, you apologized a lot. like you even offered some of your dessert bc you didn’t want him to be offended

I feel like he wouldn’t take it personally tbh

later on, when y’all get to know each other a bit more, he kind of becomes your main bro figure. not brother figure, because that’s Zabdiel, but bro figure.

and sometimes, if you’re in the same area, you end up babysitting Aaliyah

you’re a good bro, he’s a good bro

why else would you constantly call each other out on your bullshit

Zabdiel de Jesus

deadass the first time you saw him you were like oh shit

not that anyone can blame you, he’s tall asf and you’re tiny

for a good while you didn’t really talk to him

until Jade roped you into a conversation she was having with him, Joel, and Erick

internally you just sigh. socializing. niceee.

note the sarcasm

ANYWAY, when Joel gets a call, he leaves right? so Zabdiel and Erick are stuck there and from the looks on their faces you can kinda tell they don’t understand what Jade’s saying

so you scoot a little closer to them and hope your Spanish isn’t as bad as you thought it was bc you explained what she was saying

(Y/N) (L/N): video editor, aspiring director, now part-time interpreter

not that you were complaining ofc, it’s like studying for a test!

anyway after that you kinda stuck with them for a bit if only to help them understand what Jade was saying

you might have bumped into Zabdiel a couple of times

and that’s when you learned he’s actually a bit of a gentle giant

so yaaaayyyy

tbh you thought he was the oldest; he seemed the most mature of them

he’s definitely the first one outside of your own squad that you contact when you need help

he’s brotherly like that

gives great advice to you

and you lend a listening ear when he needs to let off some steam so it’s a symbiotic relationship you two have

Joel Pimentel:

honestly, your relationship with him can be described with one phrase: sass-offs.

but it wasn’t like that in the beginning

you and Joelito were pretty shy towards one another

UNTIL he saw you going through puppy pictures while you waited for the footage to render

and then you two talked/fawned over puppies in your corner

damn he spent most of his break there

so when Jade roped you into the conversation you didn’t really feel too awkward

but when Joel left the awkwardness came back

it was a pleasant surprise for you and him that you managed to get comfortable with Erick and Zabdiel, even if you were on translator duty that time

bear in mind that at this point both of you thought the other was a little cinnamon roll

but when dinner rolled around, he had to reevaluate his opinion of you because goddamn you didn’t hold back

every time you were about to spill the tea or roast someone, you would calmly sip your iced tea before speaking

sometimes the tea wasn’t the shocking bit, it was the way you said it

something in his mind just clicked and went oh when you first did that

needless to say, he showed a bit of sass too and you were living for it

SASS BUDDIES

it’s terrifying when both of you are on Twitter at the same time

think Joel’s sass but doubled and more subtle

that’s you

it’s gotten to the point that the rest of the guys try to keep you and Joel from being on Twitter at the same time

but nah, they can’t keep you two apart for long. platonically ofc

Erick Brian Colon:

you’re both the babies of your respective groups and that’s something you’re quick to tell him

so you two kinda bond over that, but not too much just yet

one of the first things you tell him is “Nice bowling skills” as a reference to the music video for Reggaeton Lento

yes bitch, you watched all their previous music videos to get a feel of sorts for the aesthetic they match for their music

while you’re lowkey gloating at how there’s finally someone on set who’s younger than you, Erick might’ve already been developing a tiny crush. on you.

but you’re a.) oblivious and b.) busy editing the video so you don’t notice

poor Erick

needless to say, he tosses flirty comments your way more than anyone else

but it doesn’t quite catch your attention.

what does, however, are his jokes.

yep. you don’t know enough Spanish to get a perfect score on your tests (yet) but you know enough to understand his shitty jokes.

Erick probably had heart eyes when you laughed at his joke

and that, ladies and gents, is where your friendship with Christopher Velez and Erick Brian Colon began

even if Erick still had a crush on you.

After y’all finish eating dinner, you grab the footage and fly back to LA because you had classes the next day. Friday of that week is when you contact Clara to set up a meeting because you’ll be done editing it Monday next week.

It’s a vid conference with CNCO and Little Mix where you send the video to them and let them watch it while you wait for their opinions. They all love it, of course, but the girls have worked with you before and know what you did.

Perrie: How much sleep did you get?

You, mildly sweating: Uh, eight hours.

You: In the past three days.

And that’s how Little Mix exposed your nonexistent sleeping habits in front of the guys.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 227: Basically Just Me Saying “Holy Shit” a Bunch

Previously on BnHA: We went on a semi-enlightening romp into Toga’s past. Basically she was an adorable child who just so happened to have a taste for blood. And whoever’s job is was to explain to her, “hey Toga, I know you like blood, but other people like being alive, so, you know. Let’s explore some other options for you,” they basically dropped the ball there. So after she murdered her hapless Deku-looking classmate in middle school, she went on the run, and we basically know the rest. Back in the present, Toga had just been blown up from the inside out as you may recall, so she spent most of the chapter kind of out of it. At one point Kizuki even started talking about her like she was already dead, reassuring her that she’d become a martyr for the Army’s cause (which, no thanks). But then Toga managed to stumble to her feet and transform into Ochako as she tried to flee. It was revealed that while transformed, she can use the quirk of whoever she’s turned into, and she proceeded to demonstrate this by floating Kizuki (and half her redshirt goons) a hundred feet into the air before dropping her back down to the pavement. Yeah. So I’m pretty sure she’s dead now. Ah well.

Today on BnHA: Toga passes out in a shed after a job well done. We learn that the MLA is recording all of the fighting, most likely for propaganda purposes because as we have previously established they’re a bunch of dicks. Hanabata confirms that Kizuki is dead and gets the Army all fired up. They charge at Tomura, who is really fucking sleep-deprived you guys, and as he stands there blinking at them he has another flashback. Turns out the little girl from the previous flashback was his sister, and back when they were cute lil munchkins and she was still alive (sob), she showed him a picture of Nana and told him that their grandma was a hero. Tomura doesn’t remember this clearly, but he remembers the accompanying emotions, which is enough to get me hyped out of my mind fyi. Back in the present, Tomura disintegrates I’m-gonna-go-with-about-200 Army henchpeople basically instantaneously without even touching some of them, which, oh shit. And then Dabi is all “oh cool I want to do some mass murder too” but before he can let loose, some dude with fucking ice powers shows up to challenge him. I guess this means we’re never going to get Touya VS Shouto, or if we do it’s going to be very repetitive. But it’s not like I’m complaining either way. Here’s hoping the villain flashback trend continues next week because omfg.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter like an hour ago lol. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity, but aside from that this is as close to a live liveblog as I’m going to get. It took two-thirds of a year, but these recaps are finally caught up.)

this is so exciting guys. I mean, for me the reading process is basically the same, but the posting process is going to be a new one since I’ll be trying to get this up the same day once I’ve read it! so you can expect many exciting errors and brain farts! prepare for the full brunt of my unpolished rough draft thoughts!

so anyway, here’s Toga

lol so much to analyze here. real quick:

“sleepy.” if that isn’t the most relatable chapter title in the history of time, though

loving the “my villain academia” logo in the background! as far as I’m concerned that’s the official title of this arc

“the conclusion of the battles” y’all I read this and I was like “what?! already!?!” but then I realized they’re talking about volume 23, which features the conclusion of the joint training battle arc. so who knows how many more villain battlin’ chapters we’ve still got ahead. I have a feeling we’re already winding down, though

note how all of the stuffed animals are stabbed. ah this girl

it’s 2214, who the fuck still uses polaroid cameras. that would be like someone in our time using a [googles inventions from 200 years ago] modern suspension bridge. ...wait

anyway you guys maybe I should start reading the actual chapter already if I want any hope of actually getting this posted before fucking midnight though

oh hey, so Toga is dying in a shed you guys. fun

I’m not really thrilled about this! to be honest! I mean for fuck’s sake she’s only 17. she was blown up from the inside out. and although the consequences initially seemed to have possibly been handwaved, it appears that no one can escape BnHA’s realistic injury clause for long! so. yeah

I get why she hid, because it’s not like the others are just gonna drop everything to come help her (although Twice, though...), and there are enemies everywhere so this is probably safer. but it also means that if she passes out here there’s a good chance she’s not going to wake up again! and that is bad! that is very much not good

what she really needs to do is call Ujiko! hitch a ride out of there while you still can! he is a doctor, right? even if it is the questionable mad scientist type! worst case, you end up as a Noumu. actually, wait a sec, maybe we should think this through

and yet the fact that she’s still laughing, though. just. goddammit. I love her so much. I swear to god Toga if you fucking die...!!

so now she’s curling up in the fetal position and thinking “once again I’ve gotten closer to you”

yeah, Deku really does do this every other week. or he did for a little while at least sob

and now we are cutting to ReDestro who for some reason is monologuing about Toga!

oh right, because he had the cameras and shit set up to livestream that shit

okay but is it just me or is he not looking at any cameras. he’s just enjoying the view from his little observation tower same as before. does his quirk allow him to see everywhere at once or what

is it bad that I barely even paid attention to the actual content of his ramblings lol. it’s just the same old same old. blah blah society rejects anyone who’s different, it’s so unfair, blah blah

it’s not a bad point, mind you; it’s just that RD and his army are completely full of shit and acting like they’re so much better even though they’re just a bunch of mur-diddly-urderers. it’s like how PETA acts like they’re champions of animal rights when really they mostly just kill shelter animals, insult Steve Irwin, and claim that milk causes autism. but I digress sob

oh shit I forgot about this dude

here I was thinking there was only the one other miniboss to go before the big bad. silly me. how could I have forgotten that two page spread and our friend here with the Gorillaz mouth and the Beatles haircut

wow are you serious?

Giran sitting there with one skeptical eyebrow raised thinking about how these guys threatened to kill him in order to lure his friends out so that they could, you guessed it, kill them!

and also, way to completely disregard the dozens of other minions who already bit the dust before Kizuki. like, your entire town is basically doomed, guy. but sure let’s cry for the one dead villain who actually had a name though

holy shit you guys

are you telling me that’s why you were recording the whole thing? is that why you invited the League here in the first place?? for the fucking publicity? kill the bad guys and earn the public’s good will? did I miss that part of the planning sesh, or was this objective already painfully obvious and I somehow either missed it or forgot all about it?

either way it’s amazing how these guys become bigger assholes with each progressive chapter

oh now he’s explaining it all on the next page lol. so I guess I didn’t miss the memo, good

okay but first he’s getting real physical with my boy Giran here though

okay first of all, all he did was say “footage...?” like wth was so fucking impolite about that. and second, why do I get the feeling that there’s probably a fair percentage of people who read this chapter and got to this panel and now suddenly ship it sob

I mean, he just got so up close and personal though. all up in his face. this guy has such a weird energy and it’s really creeping me out now ngl

anyway so here we go with the explanations

holy shit you guyssssssssss

when did Giran get so fucking hot?? and is he single?! asking for a friend???!

anyway so now RD is wiping away his crocodile tears and says Giran is lacking in imagination

oh hey

what an interesting segue back to Tomura!

wow, Spinner’s asking how much longer until Big G wakes up, and Compress says one hour and twenty minutes. so that means they’ve already been at it for like an hour and fifteen minutes! minus however much time it took to warp over and then follow Back-Stab n’ Go out to the center of town for the ambush. even if that took a whole half hour they’ve still been fighting for a long time! but I guess they’re more than used to that by this point, thank you so much Ujiko and your six weeks of brutal endurance training

Spinner’s all “no matter how many we defeat, they just keep on coming!” and I know, dude, it’s almost like there’s over one hundred thousand of them or something dfskdj

although to be fair, probably not every last one of them is actually there. can you imagine. it might take a whole nother hour to beat them all

now Hanabata is driving in on the back of an election van. because apparently he just fucked right off in the middle of his fight with the League, and then came back. with a van

so he’s all “EVERYONE I HAVE SOME DEEPLY SADDENING NEWS” and oh my gosh what is it

oh

yeah dude we already been knew. RIP and all that

so the crowd is all distressed and asking what the Supreme Leader said

really?? that’s what they call him?? yeah you guys aren’t evil at all

and Hana quotes, “‘do not let her sacrifice be in vain’“

sorry bruh. but. it’s gonna be in vain. hate to break it to you

right??

GASP

TWICE STOP BEING AWED AT HANABATA’S INFLUENTIAL AURA AND START PAYING ATTENTION TO THE DUDE WHO’S SNEAKING UP BEHIND YOU AND TRYING TO SNATCH YOUR MASK OFF

anyway so in the meantime this is happening

maybe there are 100k of them. seems like there’s a lot. I do like that from this angle it appears that Tomura and the others have holed up in a relatively narrow alley, thus creating a choke point and limiting the number of enemies who can attack them all at once. although this panel does make it look like there’s just a big ol’ wave of bad guys surfing their way towards them though, so it remains to be seen how effective this strategy will actually be lol

eh?

yeah no shit boy you’ve been fighting Daruk from BotW for the last month and a half

anyway so apparently he’s feeling ~weird~ though

I shit you not guys, my sister was hospitalized a couple months back (she’s fine now) because she started hallucinating after a three-day bout of insomnia. shit is no joke. don’t be like Tomura. go to bed and don’t stay up all night fighting villains

-- OH SHIT!?!

ASDFALSDFHLKSDHLFKJHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IT’S A LITTLE GIRL!! AND SHE’ S OPENING A SECRET DRAWER!!

SHE’S ALL “IT’S OUR LITTLE SECRET!” OH MY GOD

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SWEET JESUS MARY JOSEPH!? HORIKOSHI DO YOU FUCKING READ THE THEORY POSTS ON TUMBLR JUST SO YOU CAN IMMEDIATELY SHIT ON THEM TWO DAYS AFTER?? HOW THE FUCK

AND IS NANA’S SON WEARING DEKU SHOES?? OH MY GOD PLEASE

AND THIS MEANS THE LITTLE GIRL IS ACTUALLY TENKO’S SISTER SOBBBBBBBBB NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BUT ON THE PLUS SIDE THIS MAKES TOMURA MUCH MORE LIKELY TO GO APESHIT ON AFO’S ASS IF HE COMES TO REALIZE THAT AFO INDIRECTLY MURDERED HIS SISTER OH SHIT

BUT SHIT YOU GUYS, SHE’S SO CUTE AND SHE’S FUCKING DEAD NOW SOB THAT’S SO FUCKING HORRIBLE I MEAN IT I’M REALLY UPSET THOUGH

BUT LET’S CONTINUE WITH THE FLASHBACK TO SEE IF HORIKOSHI WANTS TO TOY WITH MY EMOTIONS ANYMORE!!

NANA DIDN’T DO A GOOD ENOUGH JOB ERASING ALL TRACES OF HER CONNECTION TO HER CHILD AND IT EVENTUALLY RESULTED IN HIS DEATH OH SHIT. I’M SERIOUSLY SO UPSET ABOUT THIS??

NOTE HOW BABY TENKO’S FACE IS PURPOSELY BLACKED OUT EVEN THOUGH (A) HIS SISTER’S IS NOT, AND (B) WE SHOULD, IN THEORY, ALREADY KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE! IT’S BECAUSE HE DOESN’T HAVE THE SCARS OR THE WHITE HAIR YET CUZ AFO HASN’T WIPED HIS MEMORIES. [nods sagely as though I have any sort of proof of this whatsoever and it’s not all just wild speculation and conjecture]

HANAAAAAAAA oh shit I better come up with another nickname for Hanabata then. looks like it’s Back To The Full Name for you mister

!!?!?!?

okay you guys I think this is intentional misdirection. we’re meant to believe that Tenko’s dad was perhaps abusive and that his behavior toward his son ultimately triggered the awakening of his quirk and led to all of the subsequent Horrible Things happening

but I think what it actually is is that Tenko’s dad probably resents Nana for giving him up. and maybe Tenko wanted to know more about her and maybe he got in trouble for it? because now Hana is showing him the picture, and then talking about this mysterious conversation with their dad and saying she’s on Tenko’s side. so that’s my bet

anyway! but this means Tomura might not need as much convincing as I previously speculated! I figured he probably wouldn’t know much, if anything, about his grandma even if he did somehow get his memories back, because he was only four when all that shit went down, and Nana had parted ways with Tomura’s dad years ago. but if he actually did know a bit about her and even possibly felt a connection with her, as this flashback suggests, that could go a long way towards fueling his eventual breakaway from AFO’s side once All Might is able to explain the truth

ahhhhh you guys this is exciting I’m excited. though also still very sad though because wtf seriously

so Tomura’s tiredly thinking that the least his stupid memories could do is show him the whole picture instead of these fragments. “it’s like a broken tape recording or something”

HOLY SHIT

...I have no words. holy shit

anyone else getting flashbacks to the Highway to Hell though? what is it with Tomura and periodically pulling off the most badass stunts in the whole fucking manga. all because he didn’t get his nap dsflkjlk

ReDestro look at this loss of life. are you crying again. no, I can’t imagine that you are. you ass

you guys are probably getting tired of me just going “holy shit” over and over, but

hooooooooooooly shit

guys, if Tomura can dust people without even touching them he might as well just change his name to fucking Thanos and we’d better start praying this kid gets redeemed and soon

so now there’s a panel of Tomura being all drooly, and honestly he looks like he’s about to pass out. not sure if this is intended to be a glam shot or what lol

ohhhhSHIT

YESSSSSSSSSSS DABI. DRACARYS

!LKJDSLFKJLSDKJF!!

OH SHIT YOU GUYS, IT LOOKS LIKE WE’RE ABOUT TO GET ALL A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE UP IN THIS BITCH

who is this weird little black mage. I’ll tell you one thing, he’s the only guy I’ve seen so far who’s actually dressed appropriately for fucking December weather, though, so good on him

will he defeat our boy Touya (spoilers, he won’t)? will Touya have some flashbacks of his own (TOUYA PLEASE), since that seems to be what all the cool kids are doing these days? will I lose my fucking shit all over again next week? stay tuned! but yes I absolutely will, oh jesus this is awesome

[toast-tit]

Piano Man

Chapter Eight

mob!Tom x reader

Warnings: language, violence

A/N: Thank god this is the last chapter holy shit. I liked writing this but ngl there was no outline so I was pulling everything out of my ass and it shows lol. Anywho...I’ll probably have something else within the next few weeks or if any of you guys have any requests I’ll take them.

Summary: The Ecclesiastes Pub catered to a plethora of people. Prostitutes, college students, successful businessmen and London’s most wanted. Bartenders and waitresses learned to tune out conversations from their customers quickly if they wanted to keep their head. However, people will still come looking for trouble, even if that trouble revolves around Tom Holland, the most feared mob boss around.

~ ~ ~

I woke up to the faint beeping of the heart monitor, signifying the fact that I was still alive. Blinking rapidly, I tried to get ahold of my surroundings until I realized I was in the hospital. Beside me were two large vases of flowers and some other gifts and the walls were a blinding white that I had no desire to see ever again. I sat up and groaned at the pain, wishing there was more morphine in my system.

To my right, Harrison was on his phone, tapping his foot obnoxiously. “Can you please stop doing that?” I croaked and his head shot up, clearly surprised that I was awake. “Holy fuck, you’re up,” he was breathless and stood up, about to rush out of the door and when I told him to stay.

“I need to tell Tom, Y/N,” he argued, but I shook my head. “I have questions,” I began to stutter around the last word, more or less because I was exhausted and would kill a man to go back to sleep. Harrison shook his head and shrugged, “Tom knows a lot more than I do. Let me get him.”

Harrison called Tom’s name and I heard shoes clang against the tile of the hospital, almost like he was running. Tom came into the room and his eyes widened at the fact that I was moving and awake. “Y/N,” his voice was barely audible. Before he came in, I figured I wouldn’t feel anything, it would just be him being concerned and whatnot, but I was dead wrong. Seeing his face was like flying; I felt the feeling in my stomach and chest that you get before you fall from a great height. My heart was practically living in my ass currently and my breathing began to quicken and I felt tears coming. It was almost definite by now that I was in love with him.

Tom had a few bruises and scratches on his face, but they looked pretty healed. Nevertheless, he looked fucking hot like that, like a sexy pirate or something. There was a look of concern and happiness plastered on his face and I badly wanted him to hug me, even if it would’ve been painful.

He made his way to my bedside and asked, “How do you feel?” His voice was soft and full of concern. I smiled lopsidedly and moved a little bit, wincing as I did so, “Like I got hit a fucking train. What about you? I see some battle wounds.” I lifted a shaking hand and placed it on his face, my thumb circling over a cut on his lip. He smiled slightly and put his hand over mine, “Nothing as serious as yours. Are you sure you’re fine? You can go back to sleep.”

I shook my head, “No, I have questions.” Tom nodded along, “Okay then, what are they?” “How long was I here, Tom?” I asked him and he put his hand on mine and stroke my thumb. “You were in a coma for six days, love. You lost so much blood they thought you weren’t going to make it,” he answered.

“Then how am I still here?” I asked. Harrison piped up, “Your blood type is very rare, Y/N, and it’s the same as mine, so I donated almost two pints.” “Jesus, that could’ve killed you!” I exclaimed, my throat hurting as my voice grew louder. Harrison shrugged, “I took my chances. I felt exhausted afterward, but not to the point where I was going to die.”

I felt tears welling in my eyes, gratitude washing over me. “Thank you so much,” a tear ran down my cheek and Harrison grinned happily. He winked and said cheekily, “You’re owe me one now, Y/L/N.” Giggling slightly, I sighed and asked, “When can I leave?”

Tom pondered for a moment before he said, “Tomorrow, I believe. But if you’re beginning to feel better, we can always do early checkout.” “Excellent,” I said whilst standing and stretching, wincing at the soreness. Harrison and Tom exchanged looks, but they did not doubt me. Instead, they helped me take the IVs out (which hurt like a motherfucker 10/10 would not recommend) and bring me a wheelchair so that they could escort me out.

It was a brisk Monday morning; the wind demanded to be acknowledged by those who dared to trek outside and the sun was hiding behind the clouds as if it were shy. The cool weather felt good and the fresh air was almost euphoric. I closed my eyes and soaked in whatever I could. “If you want to get a tan, I suggest a salon,” Harrison opened the car door for me and I entered giving him a dirty look.

I took a look of myself in the mirror and I wanted to cry. There was an ugly scar around my throat surround by massive blotches of purple, blue, and yellow. The bruises on my neck were either big or fingerprint shaped. My face was also very bruised and there was a scar on my cheekbone from I know not what. I’ve never really been insecure about what I had looked like before, but now I felt undeserving of the outside world. I felt like I should just cover up and stay quiet.

The ride home was indeed quiet. I stared out the window and pondered the manner of things as Tom and Harrison quietly conversed. They’d ask for my opinion on a few things, but never often. Harrison pulled into the house and Tom helped me out. My leg was still a bit bum, so he let me lean on him for support as we made our way in.

“You hungry?” Tom asked as he walked to the kitchen. I smiled shyly and shook my head. I instead went to the sink and filled a glass of water, downing it in seconds and then refilling the glass for a second. Tom leaned against the counter and looked at me. His eyes scanned up and down my body, making me feel like I should cover up more despite being in sweats. “Something wrong?” I asked, taking another sip of my water. He sighed and said, “You lost a lot of weight from the coma, just took me by surprise.”

I shrugged, “I’ve been meaning to lose some fat off my stomach for a while.” The two of us chuckled awkwardly, a thick silence began to shroud over us. “I’ll probably gain the weight back anyway once I get back in the gym with Harrison and all,” I sliced open the silence, “I’m sort of looking to build muscle more than anything. Plus, your cooking’s pretty phenomenal.”

Tom smiled sheepishly before he killed it off right away with a grimace. “I need to show you something,” he lightly wrapped his hand around my wrist and pulled me along. Tom opened a door and I was led downstairs into the basement, thought it seemed like a medieval dungeon with how poorly it was lit.

Any noise or humming that you could hear upstairs was immediately terminated from the basement. The only things I could hear were our footsteps and our breathing. As we kept going, I grew more anxious, asking Tom what was wrong.

Soon enough, he led to a closed door and he let go of my wrist. “Before I open this door, Y/N, I just want you to know that I’m deeply in love with you,” he was sincere, which scared me, “I know that we started on the wrong foot and we still might be on the wrong foot, but I’ve never met anyone who could get as close to me as you did. It’s only been weeks I know, but-“ “Tom please tell me what’s happened,” I cut him off, not being able to hear anymore.

He sighed and opened the door, letting me go first. Tentatively, I stepped in and took a look around the room. To my left, Cooper was in chains, a sock stuffed into his mouth. His face was unrecognizable and his clothes were tattered; he was practically dead. I covered my mouth with my hand and backpedaled into the wall, memories of that night plaguing my mind, and yet I didn’t want to leave. I couldn’t, something was compelling me to stay.

I looked at Tom, “What is this?” My voice started to waver. After all, Cooper tortured me. I was going to be afraid of him, even if I was protected by Tom. “An ultimatum,” Tom whispered, pulling a gun out of the waistband of his pants. He opened my palm and placed the gun in my hand and said, “I’m not a good person, Y/N, never was. I don’t want to hurt you anymore than you have been, so here’s the choice. You can end Rigsby’s suffering with a bullet to the head and live with the guilt, staying with me, or you can give the gun to me and live the rest of your life happily and we’ll never meet again.”

I looked at the gun in my hand, and then I looked at Tom. He was going to define our relationship by the murder of a man. Even worse, it was the man who had tortured me and killed his brother. I was surprised Cooper wasn’t dead already, having to face six days of Tom’s wrath, and by the looks of it, it was worse than hell.

Turning the gun over in my hand, I examined it. Could I do this? Could I kill another man? All so that I could be with someone who could grow tired of me in a matter of weeks? I ran a finger down the barrel, feeling the rough texture glide against my nail. I had never held a gun before, even though I lived in the most dangerous part of London, it was just something I never could do.

Tom stood stoically, analyzing my movements and body language, trying to pick out what I was doing, I could tell. He was just as nervous as I was, but he portrayed nonchalance well. “Well?” He asked. Taking one more look at Cooper, who watched me with tired eyes and Tom who watched me with anxious ones, I sighed and said, “You’re insane.”

Tom hung his head down, “I know.” He walked towards me and began to take the gun from my hand when I aimed at Cooper’s head and shot. I didn’t stop at one, I kept going, feeling the gun kick back each time a bullet left the magazine. By now, I was in a blind rage from that had happened. Each bullet began to signify a person: Ellen Rhie, Chester Harris, Harry Holland, Tom, and me.

Soon enough, I was pulling the trigger and hearing the click. I kept clicking before I fell to my knees and sat in silence, looking at the practically headless corpse of what was once my closest friend. Does friendship always end this way? In the end, one person makes the choice that pulls the trigger and you’re left in chains, without a heart to love or a mind to believe what had happened.

“You’re insane to think I’d ever leave you,” I met Tom’s eyes. He looked at me with compassion and adoration, something I longed to feel and I did. He held out a hand and helped me up, wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling me closer. His breath tickled my lips and I oh so badly wanted to close the gap between us. “Are you sure this is what you want?” He asked.

I pulled back and stared into his face. Flashes of memories seeped into my mind as I recalled the night we first met and how I “saved his life”. We were both even now, I guess. I remembered how scared I was to even be breathing the same as him and I remembered every single time he went batshit crazy. The man was crazy and he will never stop being crazy; he has an organization to run after all. But was I crazy? Was I mad to even let my feet fall to the floor as I worshipped his presence? Would it be deemed insanity if I admitted to loving him with each passing second? Or was I crazy to even consider leaving him, even though he was my life support?

After a long silence, I grinned and nodded, “It is.” Tom sighed and smiled too. He leaned in and we kissed, fireworks exploding in my heart. I pulled away and rested my forehead on his. “I love you too,” I breathed and he chuckled. “I figured after the seventh or eighth bullet,” he retorted and I slapped him on the arm.

We pulled away and he held out his arm. “My love,” he said and we both linked arms and walked out the door, ready to face the future we now shared.

TAG LIST:

@nobodyslord @financialinstability @spider-stud @wywholland @magical-fairy-princess-stuff

[thebeautyis]

HELLO

ok so to be very honest with you I actually don’t have a whole lot to write about??? I can give you like bullet points and if you want pictures, my twitter is here. I do have videos. I'll be uploading that tomorrow if things haven’t already been uploaded. 

THIS GOT LONG AGAIN IM SORRY

- Caitriona looked FUCKING HOT. I was unsure of the outfit when I saw it on twitter but GODFUCKINGDAMN.  -I honestly cannot believe how un-organized this event was and then how little actually happened. Like there was absolutely no barrier between the press and the fans. just like...a couple big beefy dudes on the red carpet and some poles separating everyone from the carpet. so we managed to sneak in dead center right behind a bunch of press people and one of the camera guys literally took Lauren’s phone to take pictures for her. I had a clear shot of Cait mostly and then Sam and I’ll post those either here or on twitter tomorrow probably.  -Sam and Cait came together around 6:30 I wanna say? They stood for MAYBE  a minute to take pictures together and then worked their way down the line separately but always like one behind the other.  -Caitriona looked so goddamn hot I will never get over it ok -I was like 2-3 feet from her for a solid 30 minutes and could not stop staring. and yes those tweets of mine that Jess posted about the sex scenes and Sam being Cait’s fave coworker were legit direct quotes from her.  -they were coordinating, in case you couldn’t tell. -the girl who runs the OL twitter was standing right next to us. hi shipper! also I’ll be shocked if I’m not in one of the like selfie videos Sam and Cait took of the fans. peekaboo! -as the red carpet was winding down, I made my way to the end of the press line (and met some other shippers!! hi!!)  to see if I could MAYBE get a selfie w Cait because that was literally my entire goal for the night (spoiler alert: I failed) but they dragged her and Sam into some other room for the screening.  -THE EPISODE WAS REALLY GOOD. I don’t want to say more bc honestly I’m not good at ep recaps but I really really liked it. Sam was honestly amazing and I don’t say that lightly. and Cait. guhghglghrega. It kind of got me back on board for this season. fucking hell.  -ok the q&a. I have videos, I have pictures. It was kind of weird, ngl. Thank god nobody asked any personal questions. actually a lot of the questions were really good. including one about who they picture as Jamie and Claire when they read the books and the entire video is just me and Lauren in the background holding each other and laughing hysterically because THEY WERE SO AWKWARD and flirty???? but like...it was hysterical. I don’t know if I’ll be posting that tbh -SPEAKING OF AWKWARD. Sam. Heughan. I don’t know if he was tired, nervous or drunk off his butt or some combination of the 3. I have never seen him so mellow and so tongue tied and just....awkward???? Like he genuinely could NOT answer questions and when he did I feel like he was fumbling through them and kept looking at Cait to help him. the poor guy was a mess. also when he doesn’t know what else to say, he bites his finger and stares at Cait. I’m not shitting you he spent like multiple minutes like this:

like what the actual fuck are you doing/thinking about, sir. 

-I didn’t notice this until I was looking at my pictures but the entire first 10 minutes they sat EXA CTLY the same way. Legs crossed the same way, arms resting on the chair the same way. 

-Cait was flirting with him a LOT. like hair playing, arm touching, she called him both darling and babe.  -Sam really wants to be in that Pinter play called The Lovers with her. LIKE REALLY. WANTS. TO. DO IT. SOMEONE. HELP. HIM. OUT. -anyway they took a group selfie at the end you 100% can’t see me bc everyone stood up and they stupidly stood like in the front row????  -on our way out though we left the building and ran into Cait signing autographs. she was SO patient I could not believe it. and of course took a picture with literally everyone around us except us. but whaaaatever. and then Sam came out and apparently it got nuts??? but we peaced the hell out of there bc noooo fucking way. and then went to a bar and straight up cried about some of the pictures that have come out.  -if Sam isn’t fucking Caitriona then he’s gay. there’s no other options. and I’m like 99% sure he’s fucking Caitriona. BECAUSE IF HE ISNT I WILL. (and also idc who the fuck you are if my boyfriend or fuck buddy or whoever looked at another woman the way Sam looked at Caitriona tonight I’d dump his ass so fast. no even slightly self respecting woman would take that kind of shit dont @ me)

ok the end. tonight was great. I was honestly terrified and stressed the fuck out about all of it beforehand but it was a lot of fun and alcohol is gr8. anyway I’m sure I missed some things so maybe I’ll make another post??? probably not. let me know if you have any questions xoxoxox

(ps I’m sure I’m gonna see these pics all over twitter but....can you at least attempt to credit me???? maybe???? is it even worth asking??? idk please ily guys.)

[gribarrinseteyrdum]

4 for the meme

4) favorite Fe charcuter. Of playable characters, it’s a tie of Micaiah+Pelleas. In a game where characterization isn’t much, boy oh boy do Micaiah and Pelleas get it. (Skrimir & Elincia come close though)

Micaiah’s the main character of fe10 and most characters call in between two archetypes. Overly nice, compassionate Lord or total badass that’s ready to fuck shit up. While everyone prefers the badass side I personally don’t.

Micaiah is a compassionate Lord; she joins a band of freedom fighters in occupied Daein to help the people, then gets involved into the Daein liberation army and is promotes to general by Prince turned King Pelleas. However, she does have another side, Micaiah is of the camus archetype (aka, a good person but who’s on the wrong side of the war as they’re too loyal to their country to back down). If you ask anyone who’s played fe10, they will let you know how loyal Micaiah is to Daein.

Micaiah, is revealed to be branded, of mixed Laguz and Beorc heritage; as such Micaiah is an outcast by both and travels often to hide her slow aging process due to get Laguz blood. Traveling a lot, Micaiah never grows attached to any place until she manages to meet Sothe in Nevassa. However Micaiah abandons Sotheas she doesn’t want him to get an outcast like herself. Eventual Micaiah returns to Daein after Ike defeats Ashnard. Once Daein loses, the people face a lot of issues cause they lost a war they started and so solidarity begins to happen. Micaiah feeling loved and growing attached, begins to love Daein. (Despite it being a VERY VERY racist country which I wish they touched upon more) Because of these nice acts that Micaiah becomes extremely loyal to Daein. How loyal? Well after Part 1 is done, Micaiah is a high general of the Daein army (they never explicitly state how high but she’s always with King Pelleas and seems to have more authority than Tauroneo, one of Darin’s 4 Riders {ex but he still has weight in the army}) so she seems to be the highest commanding general in Daein, and also assists with the Daein Reconstruction effort. She even forgoes living in the castle to live in Nevassa to better aid the people (told you she’s a goody two shoes). However, due to magic paper that Pelleas accidently signed, Daein must now do whatever Begnion commands it to or every Daein citizen will slowly begin to die. Because of this, Micaiah helps Pelleas. However, before Micaiah even knew of this macguffin she was willing to do anything for Daein as she believes in Pelleas just as he believes in her. Now this is where Micaiah’s influence from the Camus archetype becomes obvious. She fights all she can so that Daein won’t lose and be ruined. The part that really makes me love her (although everyone hates her for it), is part 3. She uses underhanded tactics that no other lord would use. Let’s review them shall we?

Micaiah ambushes the retreating Laguz Alliance at night when there’s fog so that the Laguz can’t smell their weapons or see them. Micaiah uses a platoon as a sacrifice to stall Ike even knowing that Ike will win and they’ll die. Micaiah does this so she can ambush Empress Sanaki of Begnion (a lot of inter conflict in Begnion I love it). Micaiah uses boulders to roll on the enemy and when things get rough, Micaiah pours oil down on the enemy forces and plans to burn them; this causes Sanaki to unwillingly flee by pegasus but Micaiah forsaw this and was ready to shoot Sanaki down by wind magic and arrows (which pegasus are really weak too). Micaiah was willing to do so and was going to do so even though Ike came and stopped them. Her sibling/whatever relationship they have Sothe was going to be killed if they didn’t stop and yet Micaiah was willing to press on and Sothe was going to die but Ike took mercy on Sothe. Despite all her doubts in the war, which is obvious from the vet beginning as she states facts, such as Pelleas gave her this job and she is his general and how the Daein soldiers get a commission per Laguz kill, Micaiah still believes in Pelleas and presses on. It’s at this point where Micaiah learns of the magic macguffin (The Blood Pact) that Pelleas signed and it’s at this point where she reverts more to the goody two shoes lord type than the Camus archetype. Sadly, Ike takes more prevalence than her but let’s get a quick recap of part3end to part4.

Ike manages to push Micaiah to the end but is forced to retreat due to a Black Dragon. Ike and micaiah have one final battle but it’s stopped from the Fire Emblem awaking Yune and Ashera which cause almost everyone to turn to stone. With the Blood Pact no longer in effect, Micaiah (while under Yune/’s possession) teams up with Ike to stop Ashera. It’s at this point where everyone seems to just magically forgive Micaiah and hold no resentment towards her or Pelleas. Even SKRIMIR! the representative of the Beast Laguz for Laguz Alliance who is so hotblooded (but gets better) PRAISES! he praises her despite in the sane chapter he’s ready to kill Naesala. Micaiah gets shoved to the sideline as she’s possessed by Yune half the time and Ike taking screentime. Now onto Pelleas.

Like Micaiah, Pelleas falls into an archetype. Pelleas is of the Nyna archetype; a Royal who is driven out of their country trying to reclaim their thing. Like Nyna’s , Pelleas has an ineptitude for royal affairs but unlike Nyna’s Pelleas hasn’t even known that he was a Royal and as such has no training​ or knowledge at all. See, Pelleas was an orphan as the Mad King Ashnard gave him away since Pelleas couldn’t transform into a dragon. Pelleas was found by Ashnard’s scientist/something/obviously evil guy, Izuka. And as such, Pelleas is reunited with his deranged, overbearing,and overcaring mother. Like Micaiah, Pelleas is very attached to Daein although it’s not explained why. Seeing as how is his destiny to rule Daein and help rebuild the country. Pelleas literally knows nothing but still tries his best (sorry Nino). However Pelleas isn’t a complete idiot, he knows Micaiah is who everyone looks up to and is jealous/admires her. Through Micaiah’s help, Pelleas manages to become a more inspiring leader and knows when to step up to inspire everyone. (I love Pelleas’ speech in Part 1 endgame as it’s a reflection of the speech Elincia gave in Path of Radiance and both are reflections of FE1 where Marth gives a speech to Altea after he frees them. But instead Pelleas/Elincia show conviction unlike Nyna who told Marth to send a representative for the speech, showing Nyna’s lack of thought as a beacon for the people but Pelleas/Elincia realize they have to be there for their people.) Sadly, Pelleas overelies on Micaiah and Izuka and Pelleas falls for Izuka’s trap of the Blood Pact and signs it.

Like all Nyna’s, Pelleas is reserved but it’s uplayed in a good way. He’s extremely meek and shy. So much so that any weapons/money he gives to Micaiah so she can give them to people as he’s afraid of people thinking he’s playing favorites. Pelleas is extremely nervous in his speech to and gains confidence when The Black Knight rallies behind him. (I wish we saw some internation between the two). Pelleas does this to inspire his people and also since everyone loves Micaiah and tries to emulate her a bit more. (NGL I WAS SO MAD when Pelleas wasn’t playable in P1-Endgame. It would’ve been so fitting) Pelleas becomes King and signs the blood pact and so aids Daein. Pelleas is too shy to reveal that he signed the blood pact as he’d rather people think he’s an awful person for choosing the wrong side than people knowing he was an awful King for falling for the blood pact. Showing meekness, Pelleas simply obeys the Begnion Senate but is encouraged by Micaiah to fight back and find a way to break the pact. Pelleas finds out that if he dies the pact is broken. Pelleas orders Micaiah to kill him and he is killed. But the pact is still intact. Pelleas dies for nothing… Unless you’re on a second playthrough in which case Pelleas lives but is suicidal. Pelleas only lives on for Micaiah’s sake and partially Darin’s as he believes he’s better off dead than dead. If Pelleas lives he realizes that he’s not Ashnard’s and Almedha’s son and isn’t the rightful ruler of Daein. Pelleas feels an even greater need to prove himself such as fighting when Micaiah and Ike join. Pelleas doesn’t really speak anymore but he has a lot of boss dialogue where he’s shown to be meek but has a backbone such as his outrage at Izuka and the Begnion senators. Pelleas eventually comes clean to Almedha and tells him that he’s not his son. Pelleas relinquishes the throne to Micaiah and serves at court.

Micaiah and Pelleas are so devoted to their country. I love Micaiah cause she’s extremely willing to stoop so low to save her country. Micaiah also comes off as hypocritical as she hates Ike yet kind of does the same. Micaiah’s a nice person who’s selflessness​ gets played up more than the other main characters yet she’s perfectly willing for people to see her as a monster as long as her country is safe. This is due to an over attachment since she was shown kindness and I love it. Pelleas is so shy and meek yet tries his hardest to do good for his country. Even realizing that he’s not what he’s thought he still tries his best. I honestly ship Micaiah x Pelleas. And their characters really play the opposing goals/personalities basic character writing that FE uses but not much. Especially not to this much effect. They just have issues cause Radiant Dawn’s writing issues especially with part 4 where Skrimir and Tibarn don’t even confront either and also give praise to both. But the writers really tried you can tell and I appreciate Micaiah and Pelleas especially so for it.