#ngl it's been a really tough year

[mababwionarts]

still thriving 🙌🍾🙏🫡🥲💛🐦

I'm thriving.

[5sospenguinqueen]

Tantrums | Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Summary: After 10 years together, Lewis keeps pushing back the date on when “forever” can start. Realising that forever applies to her job and not their relationship, she makes it clear that she’s had enough. 

Warnings: slight age gap, reader is 32. angst, heavy on the angst. 

Requested: @madelynn-sienna (sorry it took so long. i didn’t think i was gonna do it ngl to you because i don’t really write for lewis)

F1 Masterlist

next.

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

yn_ln just posted

liked by carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux and others

yn_ln when he feels bad that he’s on the other side of the world for your birthday 

4,444 comments

lewishamilton happy birthday, love. i’m so sorry i’m in australia and not with you but i promise i will make it up to you when i’m home. roscoe promised me he’d spend the day spoiling you 

→ roscoelovescoco yes i’s did’s 

user1 oh to be loved the way yn is loved by lewis 

user2 no one makes me feel as single as lewis and yn do 

carmenmmundt @/georgerussell63 take notes

→ yn_ln you tell him, hun

→ georgerussell63 i buy you flowers all the time! 

f1 we’re sorry that a race fell on your birthday. we’ll ask the fia to fix the calendar next year so this doesn’t happen again

mercedesamgf1 we’d give him back if we could. happy birthday, yn

georgerussell63 hang on a second. you’ve not left us yet. that’s not the right car

→ charles_leclerc that’s the perfect car 

→ yn_ln i didn’t buy the car. i just jumped behind the wheel

user3 not me hoping she’d be getting a ring for her birthday 

→ user4 we’ve been waiting for this for the past 8 birthdays

→ user5 it’s been 10 years. we were expecting two rings and a few kids by now

→ user6 i mean, he just bought her a sports car. not very kid friendly 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

lewishamilton just posted

liked by francolapinto, sebastianvettel and others 

lewishamilton happy 10 years to the love of my life. every moment with you is an adventure i never want to end

9,448 comments

yn_ln forever with you ❤�� mainly because i can’t be bothered to train some new guy to photos that good of me

mercedesamgf1 can’t believe it’s been 10 years already. it feels like only yesterday yn was making her paddock debut. here’s to another 10 

→ user7 not mercedes commenting like they’re a part of this relationship 

→ user8 well he’s been with yn almost as long as he’s been with mercedes so they practically are at this point 

user9 my favourite f1 couple

user10 i love their rich money vibes

roscoelovescoco happy’s anniversary’s mum and’s dad 

→ yn_ln my precious boy 

→ user11 now she needs a real baby 

danielriccairdo i can’t believe she’s managed to put up with you for ten years 😂 huge love to you both

→ yn_ln ngl, it’s been tough

→ lewishamilton i’m taking the ferrari back 

user12 wedding and baby when? 

georgerussell63 happy 10 year anniversary. yn is my favourite part of you being my teammate 

→ carmenmmundt can we keep her when you go to ferrari?

→ charles_leclerc no. it’s my turn now 

→ lewishamilton i think you’re all forgetting that she’s mine 

mercedesamgf1 just posted

liked by georgerussell63, kimi.antonelli and others 

mercedesamgf1 GET IN THERE, LEWIS 🏆🥇 LEWIS HAMILTON IS YOUR BRITISH GRAND PRIX WINNER 

23,441 comments

yn_ln my love. i honestly have not stopped crying since you crossed that line. i’m so proud of you. you deserved this and proved to everyone why you’re a motorsport legend

→ lewishamilton couldn't do it without your support 🩷

→ mercedesamgf1 it’s true. the mechanics were uncomfortable when they realised they couldn't just keep giving her tissues

georgerussell63 you deserve it, mate

valterribottas well done champ

user1 can’t believe he won silverstone the same weekend he celebrated 10 years with yn 

→ user2 she’s always been his good luck charm. he performs so well when she’s watching

→ user3 they’re the dream team together 

user4 the fact that yn is the only one he responded to

user5 she’s getting it good tonight

skysportsf1 posted a new interview

user6 oh no, lewis…

user7 lewis, she was asking what was next for you and yn, relationship wise

user8 oh, that’s not quite

user9 i hope yn doesn’t see this otherwise i fear lewis might be in the doghouse tonight 

→ user10 i hope she does see it so that she knows he’s not thinking of her future in the same way 

user11 i always thought lewis loved yn as much as yn loved lewis but now i’m not sure

user12 it’s the fact that the poor interviewer looked upset at his answer as well. like she hoped for better

→ user13 we all hoped for better 

user14 it’s the fact that she’s always talked about wanting kids and getting married but has always said they’re waiting until lewis is ready

→ user15 the fact that every year passes and he never indicates that he’s ready for any of it though 

replies to @/F1Wags

user1 lewis still follows yn

→ user2 and still has all of his photos up, including their anniversary post 

→ user1 i’m hoping this means he’s in denial and is still trying to win her back

user3 i can’t believe this is real. she went all the way back and deleted everything related to him in 10 years. even edited posts to delete slides he was in

→ user4 dedicated queen

user5 just fell to my knees in walmart

user6 i’m devastated but i also hope this means she finds a man who will be prepared to give her the life she wants 

→ user7 well, more fool her for staying this long

→ user6 not really. ever think she wanted those things because she wanted them with lewis

→ user8 don’t break my heart like this please  

replies to @/WeDon'tThink

user9 okay but your pen was on fire when you wrote that 

user10 he literally had the best weekend of his life with a 10yr anniversary, winning silverstone and then clearly messed it all up somehow in the end 

user11 if sir lewis hamilton can’t even do right, what hope do the rest of us have in finding a decent man

→ user12 no because they looked just as in love as they did 10 years ago and he still fumbled

user13 i saw rumours it was because he gave her an ultimatum and she didn’t take the path he wanted 

→ user14 what do you mean?

→ user13 apparently “close sources” said that he told her if she wanted kids, she couldn't have him and so she left 

→ user14 wtf!!! good on her for dumping his ass

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

calvinklein and yn_ln just posted

liked by nicorosberg, fernandoalo_official and others 

calvinklein @/yn_ln is stunning in calvin klein underwear. shop the collection now 

5,533 comments

yn_ln oh okay. i look goooood 

→ alexandrasaintmleux i would let you take me home

→ carmenmmundt me too

→ georgerussell63 excuse me, i don’t agree with this

user1 aha, nico we see you 

→ user2 and fernando

landonorris oh so he fumbled bad 

→ oscarpiastri they’re going to take your social media off you again

user3 is this her version of a revenge dress?

→ user4 more like undress

user5 not sure why you wouldn’t want to marry and give a baby to a woman like that 

→ user6 okay, ew

user7 can we appreciate how she’s handled this with class. instead of speaking out against lewis, she’s been booked and busy and flitting about europe on modelling jobs 

→ user8 just further proof that he managed to lose the best woman ever 

roscoelovescoco you’s look’s nice, mum

→ user9 i know lewis hires someone to run this account but what are the odds that he’s actually behind it now so he can stalk yn 

yn_ln please can we all focus on the clothes and support how hot i look by buying some! 

→ danielricciardo don’t even have tits but you convinced me to buy a bra

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

lewishamilton just posted

liked by valterribottas, scuderiaferrari and others 

lewishamilton mixed feelings about today. obviously happy for a win but very disappointing for george and the team missing out on a 1-2

7,744 comments

georgerussell63 we put up a good fight today

user1 not really a deserved win though, is it

user2 you fumbled yn and now you’re fumbling wins. you only got this because merc screwed over george 

roscoelovescoco well’s done’s dad

user3 see what happens when you play a good woman, you get a dirty win

user4 man needs to act his age. can’t believe at the grand age of 39, he strung along a girl who loved him more than anything for 10 years

→ user5 destroyed my faith in men for real 

user6 robbed a win from george like you robbed 10 years from yn 

(comments on this post have been limited)

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

I wrote this out and was really proud of it and then when I was adding the other driver’s versions on, I realised it was the same principal as Daniel’s so I’m so sorry for the repeated plot

Baby Fever Angst Masterlist

requests are open

[jinhyun]

◇ 08. carrot cake

◇ heart out

◇ hwang hyunjin x reader | best friend’s brother au

when your long-term boyfriend left you for someone else, not only were you left to deal with a broken heart, but also with the discouragement of never finding true love in your life.

after all, you were completely unaware of the fact that your best friend’s little brother fell head over heels for you the moment he first saw you six years ago, and he’d be damned not to show you, firstly, that he was no longer the teenage boy your mind made him up to be, and, secondly, that he would be the man to step up and love you right.

author’s note: long time no see, i know, i know. as a nctzen it’s been a tough week and i’m seeing the dreamies tomorrow (today?? it’s past midnight already???) so my mindset was kinda focused on them and couldn’t properly sit down to write for shit ngl. BUT ANYWAY!! won’t you look at these two getting closer and closer 🤭 i hope you guys enjoy and as always i would really appreciate it if you let me know your thoughts on it<3

tag list: @jehhskz @iknowyouknowminho @doohnut @saintcosette @lailac13 @kayleefriedchicken @rikibun @yongbokkiesworld @seungzsmin @beautifulcolorgarden @hyunetopia @velvetmoonlght @automaticpersonabatpaper @httpdwaekki @brinnalaine @wondering-out-loud @feelikecinderella @nujeskz @amarecerasus @liknws @nhyunn @midsoulz @tirena1 @tinyelfperson @thatonexcgirl @iovecb97 @hynier @phenomenalgirl9 @your-favorite-pirate @jin-from-the-block @yearofthetiger25 @quokkacidal @stayconnecteed @kwanisms @yoonguurt @143hyunes @iiriam @cookielixie @hyunlvrs @allyrarara @machaandlofi @mehli-00 @justiceforvillains @minhosprettywife @whats-my-question @armystay89 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hyeon-yi @skzstannie @onlyhyunjin @shyshyshytwice @nicoleparadas @​broken-glowsticks

[mintmatcha]

obsessed with kirishima in that new sero series ngl,,, if you ever want to or decide to write, i'd love to hear abt kirishima and reader hanging out- or just how they are with each other. how they became friends etc etc

anyways,,, how have u been miiiint how's it going ;w;

on her knees, his mom smoothed his hair down one day and told him he had to be friends with the girl across the hall. the city was still half built from after the war, his own cuts healed, yet pink.

"you're such a sweet boy," she mumbled, with a kiss on the forehead. "go be sweet."

and so, he was marched over, box of sweets in hand.

"i'm eijiro-" he uses his given name when you answer the door, instead of the family one labelled outside their door. "my mom made these for you."

You don't reach out to take the box. he's afraid you're about to back up and close the door when you shake your head.

"you d-didn't need to do that," you whisper, ducking away from eye contact. Oh, he thinks. That's why his mom sent him over here.

"it's cool!" He pushes the box forward and you gingerly take it, "My mom loves to do stuff like this."

You bow, just a dip of your head, and Kirishima gets a view into the apartment. It's smaller than his family's, with the living room right by the front door and the walls glossed with pink posters. There's a bookshelf packed with figurines and manga.

"whoa." Kirishima gapes. "your parents much really like anime."

"Oh, uh-" You shut the door a bit, trying to block his view. "I-it's just me. I like anime."

"Your parents let you decorate the apartment? That's so cool."

"no, it's just me." You still can't meet his eye. "My parents live out in the country side and it's too far away from my school."

It's not uncommon for students to get apartments near their high schools, but Kirishima thinks it's a strange choice for something as skittish as you. Living by yourself, in the middle of the city, while they rebuild it all: he doesn't know if he could do it.

"That genius school down the road?" Kirishima points in the (probably incorrect) direction. It's not UA, of course, but it's just as competitive to get in. "You gotta help me with math sometime-- I'm drowning."

For the first time, you smile.

"I am not a genius," you say. "But I can take a look."

-

Thursdays turn into tutoring sessions. You're a year behind him in school, but a year ahead of him in math, which makes you a tough grader. Kirishima thinks that you might actually be a genius sometimes. His mom pays you in warm meals, his dad irons your uniform for you when he has the time.

It fills the gap leaving the dorms left in his social life.

"don't you get lonely?" he asks one night, sitting in the middle of your apartment. the faucet leaks, a constant, drip, drip, drip, that your dad promises to fix the next time he can make the train ride over. "your friends from school never come over."

you've scribbled little Xs across your piece of scrap paper, each one tiny and dark, drawn with a shaking hand.

"yeah," you say, "it's okay. they're just busy, i guess."

[wichu-wrld]

NCT DREAM — them having a crush on you and how they act whenever you are around

from wichu-wrld: finals are done yay! so expect a bunch of posts from this day on :) requests are open!

pairing: fem!reader x nct dream

MARK LEE

he would just say the most random things to you, especially if he really wanted to join the conversation. he tried once but failed (he was embarrassed and sad.) he would stutter and laugh uncontrollably just so he could see you smile. every time he comes home from school, he would immediately regret the things he did for you but gaslights himself that seeing your smile makes him forget all of the embarrassing things.

HUANG RENJUN

suddenly, he's acting cute around you ?!?!?? cuteness comes naturally to renjun, but when he's with you, it's a different side of cuteness. he lets you play with his hair, and he lets you hold his hand; he is enjoying every moment of it. he would take really cute pictures of you and post you on his stories, tagging you, of course.

LEE JENO

he tries to act tough. he has a bad boy aura to him, but that's only when YOU are around. he's nonchalant and just stays quiet for most of the time, and this really intimidated you... i'm talking about you, unable to approach him when you need something from him, you needing his friends to talk to him, but he realized that and he starts talking to you, making you feel like you two are getting close. because of this, you started liking him, too.

LEE HAECHAN

teasing is his way of showing how much he likes you. he likes it when you get annoyed because he's going to make up for it by buying you lunch— which is every day. you already knew he likes you the moment you realized that you're the one getting teased by lee haechan, but you are NOT really sure. whenever you are around, he always finds his way to sit next to you and "accidentally" let your hands touch each other. this man texts their gc after the day... he goes crazy; sending long vms, excessive use of reaction pics whenever his friends sends pics of you and him.

NA JAEMIN

HYPER JAEMIN AROUND YOU! he doesn't let anyone stop him from expressing his feelings for you. he has been crushing on you since 10th grade, you guys are now in college, 2nd year. he tried his best to uncrush you, but every time you appear, he fails lol (this is me). he becomes so hyper, as in full battery jaemin. one time he confessed to you through NGL. you knew it was jaemin bc of the way he types, but you fr thought he was messing with you.

ZHONG CHENLE

as the yap master of the group, chenle doesn't speak that much when you are around. he gets tensed up when you are around. you, knowing that chenle is a talkative boy, are quite surprise how chenle gets quiet, and you think he has always been like that, until you accidentally eavesdropped during their conversation in the study hall, and only heard chenle's voice.

PARK JISUNG

if he gets shy around you, then imagine how shy he even got when he started having feelings for you. whenever he sees you walk towards him, he starts running away, and this leaves you confused af. his hands become sweaty, and he stutters whenever he's talking to you, so sometimes he just stops talking. but he did think of gathering some balls to actually talk to you.

© wichu-wlrd 2024

[demonsword586]

Horn grinding headcanons! Gehenna

(I apoligise but I been having THOUGHTS...and I wanted to make something like a list of all devils and how their horns would feel for grinding,starting of with Gehenna devils.)

Sitri

-first things first,the ~ shape would probably feel like a bulge

-it's also quite decent in size and he only has one horn,which is actually an advantage,since you might have a hard time finding a comfy position with a devil who has more than one

-also if you put his head between your thighs,you can pull on his ponytail

-his head probably smells like tea,so bonus points for that

Satan

-Yes

-very big,they're also in a very nice position

-also very smooth,so it may will be easier to glide against them when they're wet from cum/milk/any other liquid

-the only downside is that he would act like a brat and bite your legs or move his head away when you're close

-so kindly slap him and hold him by the tip of his horns or tug on his hair,he will enjoy it

Paimon

-okay it would be a struggle to get the position right.

-won't let you grind on them until he takes those stickers off OR will do his best to make you release a lot of juices(finger you,edge you,bite your thighs) so the stickers have more of your scent and he will keep them for years

-his horns are actually quite thin and the distance between them...like I said,this is a tough cookie to grind on,penetration might be better

-also he may prick or bite you on purpose to draw out your blood

Leraye

-okay for humping,the unicorn shape might be the safest and most straight forward one.

-this one even has a golden retriver attached to it

-absolute obedience! You tell him 'stay',he stays still...but when he's close,he may not be able to hold back much longer and will hump his head against you instead

-will keep the teddy bear on,either to make you more comfy or to get your scent on it

Zagan

-(omg bunny ears!)

-ngl that shape...would be perfect for a vibrator

- his horns have so much girth and lenght that all of your privates would be covered

-also that long,jankable hair...just imagine grinding on those cute horns and all of the sudden jank his head back,he may even let out a few moans!

-actaully since he has so much stamina he may be open to turning into a vibrator for you

-either way he will do all the work,to please his partner

Belial

-hmm...I don't want to be rude but...those are not grindable..kinda small

-if you somehow grind on those,applause to you

-but those are made for penetration...

-thankfully these average horns,have a masterfull tongue below them(really this man can write with his tongue,imagine what godly oral he could do)

-so you can get oral and horn penetration at the same time! (Imagine him sucking your clit/cock while he fucks you with his horn)

Astaroth

-okay at first nothing special,looks like he broke his horns...he turns around and DAMN! This man has a fucking grinding machine!

-The girth! The lenght! The position!

-I'm sorry but...his horns are laid flat against the back of his head,which is perfect for sitting down,not only that but his long ass hair is also there. Imagine how it would feel to sit down on this beast while his hairl tickle your legs

-the horns are pretty decent size and girth

-Oh! The bumps! Those are the cherry on top! I...it would feel amazing,that's all I can say

-the only downside is that he would probablly suffocate

[writing-mlm]

Hey pookie, can I please request a Damian x male reader where they're enemies/rivals to lovers? Like both of them are the top students in their college and they tried to top the other by getting a better grade and showing it off to the other?

(can I please have soft damian too? Please 🙏)

Summa Cum shut the fuck up [D.W]

Summary: Stanford was your dream and some rich kid wasn't going to stop that, but damn those party lights make him look really nice. Pairing: Damian Wayne x Male reader WC: 5.2k a/n: ngl in the first draft the roommate died and it was so left-field field I had to rewrite the whole thing

Summa Cum Lade and Valedictorian, that was the only option. 

Having been your high school valedictorian, gotten into the national honor society, and taking every single AP class you could all four years just for a chance at being at the top. Over seventy applications across the U.S. and every single one had a large accepted letter attached to it. It was your moment— Stanford was yours. 

You’d taken out loans for whatever your scholarships didn’t cover, like your meal plan and housing. But it didn't matter, you were prepared for anything and everything. Nothing was about to come between you and that number-one spot. 

Until you saw Damian Wayne. 

He lived across from you with your roommate's best friend, Jaime Reyes. But the two were painfully different and Jaime would more often than not hang out in the common area just to get away from their suffocating dorm. As such, their dorm door was painfully barren in the hallway filled with decorated doors. Not that Jaime didn’t try, it’s just Wayne would take it down as soon as he noticed. Not to mention Wayne had a thing for glaring at anyone who dared to knock on his door. Never mind that Jaime had been making friends left and right. 

You didn’t care at first, why should you? Some rich kid who doesn’t want anyone to steal his valuables. It’s whatever, not like it’s going to affect you. 

Until it did. 

The two of you happened to have most of the same classes, being the same major and all. And at first, you didn’t pay any mind to him, he was just another one of the kids in the sea of students until the first marking period came around. 

And his name was above yours. 

You remembered staring at your screen, looking at the 99.7% right below the 99.8%. It was the first time since elementary school that you had come in second. It made this feeling bubble up and you nearly had a breakdown. That feeling was pure hatred. This— this stupid rich boy born with a silver spoon in his mouth was not about to take away your goal. 

“Looks like you got competition,” Jaime had laughed from his dorm. You’d only heard it because you needed some fresh air before you tried to scoop your brain out. 

“The gap won’t be as small next time,” Wayne replied as Jaime opened the door. The two of you made eye contact while Jaime awkwardly tried to excuse himself to the bathroom. 

You’d be damned if you let some rich kid who probably bought their way in be better than you. 

You spent all of your free time at the school library or in the common area at night, studying and memorizing. Homework and projects were done in record time and you absolutely used the most out-of-office hours with your professors. All of whom were confused as to why their top student was coming in without needing any actual help. 

Test after test, you saw that the top two students were you and him. Your first finals were tough though. You probably averaged an hour's worth of sleep that entire week and drowned yourself in whatever textbooks or worksheets you could to prepare yourself. 

“(L/n),” Wayne greeted you as the two of you were in line at the TSA. Break officially started the next day but due to your finals being done, you got to leave earlier. 

“Wayne.” It’s a little surprising seeing the son of a billionaire fly commercial, let alone with Spirit Airlines but to each their own. You didn’t care enough to give it another thought. His eyes wander over you and he quietly hums. It doesn’t look like you’ve packed anything other than clothes and toiletries. And your electronics. 

He isn’t stupid. He knows you’re overworking yourself to be the best in school. He knows you obsessively check over the dean's list, that you probably have an alarm to make it a point to never drop below the number one spot for the freshmen. Overall, you rank three, which you’ll take. There are smarter people than you, just not anyone in your year. 

A part of him wanted to relax a bit, and make himself get a few questions wrong to ensure you remain in that number one spot. Maybe then you’ll ease up on yourself and not look like a zombie every single day. But he can’t bring himself to. It feels like pity and Damian Wayne doesn’t do pity. 

Besides, he’s never had someone to go head to head with him who wasn’t almost a decade older than him. To him, this rivalry was fun. To you, it was a means to an end. You felt that deep within you, you needed to beat him. If you weren’t willing to sacrifice your time and energy for that then what was the point in high school of isolating yourself? 

As the line moves up, you cover a yawn by rolling your neck. This stupid red-eye flight is worse than any final you’ve taken. 

You’re beyond tired and you’re sure your expression displayed nothing but that but you were counting on that nap in the flight to fix that. 

Thankfully, there’s not much of a wait as you’re at your gate less than half an hour later, checking in. 

“Oh,” The man at the desk pauses as he scans your ticket. You panic a little, did you get the dates wrong? The time? The location. Shit, maybe those hours of lost sleep had gotten to you. “You’ve been upgraded from economy to first class. Enjoy your flight.” He smiles and hands you back the ticket. You thank him and take your seat, silently happy you were going to sleep in first class. 

—

Returning to Stanford from winter break, you were happy to be back. You felt wasted— almost hollow not studying at home, as if nothing else mattered except studying. But your family didn’t let you get much studying in, after four months apart they missed you. A lot. And you went back to where your family was from to visit them instead of going home so you were never given a moment of

solace unless you were asleep. Your siblings and your extended family were always around you, asking you about college, how they’d seen your grades, and how exciting it was that you were in such a huge school. 

It also felt a little weird without having Wayne there. In a weird sort of way, you missed glancing at his results to see if he got higher than you. To share those smug glances as you passed each other to the showers. Like it or not, he’d become a staple in your day-to-day life on campus. 

You found yourself daydreaming about him being there as your family had parties and celebrations for various reasons. The holidays, your return home, and two birthdays happened in those two months you were away from campus. And they were sad to see you go for another four months. 

Of course, you returned with a bunch of gifts and mementos from your family. 

Wayne noticed it first, he saw you return to your dorm actually looking human. He’d gotten so used to the eyebags and the pain medications you’d take because the headaches were getting too bad, and the early signs of hand tremors you tried to shake off. A part of him was glad you were taken care of during the break, he’d seen a lot of people break down in Gotham for less and just hoped he didn’t have to deal with that at Stanford. 

Maybe he just didn’t want that to happen to you. 

But he doesn’t say anything. 

Instead, he watches as you fall into the same pattern. And no one around you seems to give a shit that you’re basically slowly killing yourself. He resents Frankie in a way, as a roommate and a friend of yours, he has the most power in that situation to force some sense into you. Instead, he jokes and laughs at your state, unaware of how damaging it truly is. 

“All that studying won’t help you much, (L/n).” Wayne says as he walks past you the second week back from break, two textbooks tucked under his arm and a cup of water in his hand. You glare at him but only for a moment before going back to reading. For some reason, you can’t really focus knowing he’s around you. Somewhere, probably watching you. Hearing him sit a table away, you check the time for the first time that night. 

4:34 am

What was he doing up so late? Normally, you had the common area to yourself at this time. No one in their right mind would be awake at 4:30. Maybe he was feeling the stress of the new classes, too. Or maybe Jaime was snoring too loudly and he figured since he was awake he should study, too. 

Either way, he wasn’t going to take away from your study time. He already occupied a space in your mind against your will. And that was more than enough. 

Feeling a yawn crawling its way up your throat you swallow it back down and reach for your cup of energy drink mixed with coffee when you feel something hit your neck. You can’t tell what though, as the second you feel it, you’re out like a light. You do feel a hand save your head from hitting the hard table, though. But it was the last thing you remembered from that night. 

—

“You’re finally awake!” Frankie, your roommate, greets you as he walks into your dorm with a slushie and cupcake in hand. You’re sitting, blinking at the floor trying to remember how you ended up in your room. 

“Did I start sleepwalking?” You croak out, your mouth dry and throat tight. Frankie only grins and sits on his bed, watching as your face scrunches at the pain. “God, did you leave the window open again?” Blinking over to the window, you see it wide open and groan, throwing yourself back down to the bed. 

“Wanna head down and grab lunch? It ends in like twenty,” He asks, grabbing his phone from his pocket and checking the time. “Nineteen minutes until lunch is over.” So it’s almost three. You’d slept most of the day but it was a Friday so you didn’t have any classes. You didn’t miss any classes, thank god. 

Then again, you could’ve been studying. 

“I’m good,” Standing up, you crack your back and sigh. Not that you’d admit it, but you needed that nap. “Gotta shower and study.” Frankie frowns, watching as you collect your stuff before leaving the dorm. As you leave, he sees Wayne exiting his room and the two of them make eye contact. He shakes his head and Wayne turns to watch as you leave before nodding to him and leaving. 

Frankie frowns as he watches you leave. You’re stumbling and still trying to shake the sleep off, unaware that your left pants leg was halfway up your thigh and the right one was somehow twisted around. He grumbles and rushes to catch up to Wayne. 

Half an hour later and you’re inside the library. There’s one seat you’ve always sat at and you’re glad to see it’s empty; seeing as you’d be spending most of the day there. 

Setting your stuff on the table that’s pressed against the wall and diving back into where you left off the night before. It’s perfect in the library, there’s hardly anyone inside and the temperature finally isn’t bone freezing or blistering hot. Your headphones are on and there’s no one around, so you’re free of any possible distractions. Not to mention not tired after your ten-hour nap. 

About twenty minutes into studying, you can feel someone behind you; staring. But it’s probably the librarian so you don’t pay it any mind and continue on with your work. The feeling stays for another minute or so, and it’s making you a little uneasy, the Liberian would’ve moved on by that point. Hell, you’ve moved on to your ten-page essay, having enough of reading from the illegal copy of the textbook you downloaded. 

Maybe you should just turn around. It’s probably someone asking for the wifi password. 

Another minute passed and suddenly a slight shadow was cast over your laptop. You can see the outline of the person and go to groan when Wayne sets a cup of your favorite drink and lunch down to your left. It effectively shuts you up, halting the annoyed groan you were fixing to let out. 

A nice gesture from him? That’s… strangely nice. 

“Thank you…?” Sliding the headphones off, you turn to see him but he’s already walking away. Weird. Looking at the food, you almost— almost smile seeing that the food had those protective films covering it. The film was covered in a thin layer of condensation, having been hot but lunch had since ended. Had he been looking for you all that time? 

There’s also a note on it. Grabbing it, you flip it over to read it. 

You need to eat and maintain a good sleep schedule to remain at the top. 

That’s all it says, but that’s all you need. The paper can wait and you basically know all the material by heart already. A break couldn’t hurt. 

—

“A hundred and two. Suck my dick, Wayne!” You grin, slapping your test down in front of him before he can pack his things up. He looks at the paper and then at you. His eyes flicker to the extra credit questions he didn’t have time to finish and it only makes you smile harder. 

“(L/n),” He greets with faux enthusiasm. His eyes flicker across your body in one motion that makes it look as if he is looking down at the paper again. “Don’t let it go to your head.” He’s reluctant to show you his score but you had seen the giant red 98 from three seats behind him. 

“Just let me know if you need a tutor,” Taking the paper back you wiggle it in his face one last time before leaving him alone and you hear him scoff as you walk off to your next class. 

It’s mid-February now and while California doesn’t get as cold as the more Northern states, it is a little chilly especially now that it’s started to rain. 

There’s not much wind, surprisingly enough, so you’re able to keep your umbrella stable as you wait for the campus bus to arrive. While you’re waiting, listening to some music and enjoying the clouds as they roll by, Wayne walks over. He doesn’t say anything, but he stands next to you. 

His hood is wet and he doesn’t have an umbrella, but he’s far from affected by it. You guess Gotham is normally colder than SanFran, plus you heard it rains a lot there. Actual acid rain. But you doubt that. 

“If this is you asking for me to tutor you…” He glares at you and then rolls his eyes. 

“I’m the last person on this campus in need of a tutor.” He snips, his posture getting a little straighter as he speaks. 

“And the only person who needs an umbrella.” You chide. He doesn’t argue that fact and you look down the road. The bus isn’t even in sight, and he’ll probably catch a cold if he doesn’t get dry soon. But if he’s sick he can’t do well— no, you need him at his best. Winning because your opponent cannot put their best foot forward isn’t winning.

That’s probably why he’d given you the food. 

Internally, you sigh and step closer to him. Just enough that the both of you are covered by the umbrella. 

“Thanks,” He mutters, pulling his wet hood down. The red Stanford hoodie is absolutely drenched but it’ll dry soon. Hopefully faster than the cold bus. His hair is a little wet, too. You never noticed the curl to his hair before. It looks nice. You hum and scroll on your phone with your free hand. 

“By the way,” He starts after five minutes of silence between the two of you. “I got a hundred on Professor Guetta’s exam.” The two of you have that professor, but not at the same time. Gritting your teeth, you have half a mind to move your umbrella but decide against it. 

“Don’t let it go to your ego, Wayne.” You’d gotten a 98, never mind the fact that you overslept and missed a good ten minutes and never got to finish the exam. 

“Never, (L/n).” He hums as the bus finally pulls up. 

Shutting the umbrella, you all but push past him to get inside and away from him. Never mind the fact that you can hear him snickering quietly. 

—

“99.” Wayne shows you his paper before you can even stand up. You stare at the paper and sigh. The two of you had been having this feud for two years now. One might think that as juniors in college, you’d give it a rest, maybe finally relax and actually put this… academic one-upping a rest. And you almost did. 

But going into junior year you learned who your roommate was. Somehow, by some stupid chance, Wayne had managed to be your roommate until senior year. And sure, you could ask to be transferred to a different room but it’s about the principal. If you ask to be moved then he won. And he wasn’t about to win against you— at anything. Which is why you always wake up at five in the morning. Thirty minutes before he does. It used to be later in the day, but he started waking up earlier just to spite you. 

And you’re too prideful to let that happen. 

“Same,” Showing him your paper, he grabs it and flips through both of them. You watch, trying to find the question the two of you had gotten wrong. Apparently, it was the same question. It makes you feel a little better, knowing it was probably an advanced question meant to trick students. 

He hands you the test back and you stand up. 

“Won’t happen again, though.” You say as you slip the paper into your bag. He watches and cringes— don’t you have a folder for fucks sake?

“Because I’ll get better marks than you, yes.” He adds and you suck your teeth, looking up at him. 

“Just worry about making sure your pretty face doesn’t get wrinkles, Wayne.” You tease and catch up to Frankie and Jaime at the door. They actually still lived on the same floor as the two of you, so you hung out whenever you weren’t studying. Which, admittedly, was less these days. Sometime during finals freshman year, you’d overworked yourself to the point of almost developing hypertension. 

Frankie greets you first, offering you one of the donuts he’d stolen from his job. Jaime waves, his mouth too filled with his own donut to say anything. 

“Some of us are heading to that secret tunnel under the south side of campus,” Frankie explains as the three of you walk to the courtyard for your hour-long gap. Wayne has a class, though. So he doesn’t join— not that he ever would, but sometimes Jaime offers. “Caddie, that Kappa Alpha Theta girl who’s majoring in political science—“

“Your ex-girlfriend,” You add and he huffs. 

“That too. She managed to get access to that tunnel and is planning a party. Booze provided. Friday night.”

“I dunno,” You frown, using your jacket as a blanket to lay your head on. “I got a pretty shit grade for the last test in Jenkins class and I gotta study.” The two sigh loudly and you roll your eyes. 

“You gotta study every single day!” Frankie reminds you, holding his phone above your face so you can see Caddie’s Instagram story. “One little party won’t hurt.” Looking at Jaime, you see

him pleading and let out a grumbled “Fine.” that the boys cheered at. 

“What did you get anyway?” Jaime asks once they stop cheering. 

“Lemme guess,” Frankie grins. “You finally got a 60?” You’d actually kill yourself. 

“No,” Rolling your eyes, you stare at a cloud that’s shaped oddly like a dog shitting. “I got a 90.”

“I fucking hate you.”

—

Friday rolls around and Frankie all but breaks your door down as you’re getting some last-minute work done. Nothing major, just some homework you’d been putting off and finally got to it with your downtime. 

“Does your incessant knocking ever work?” Wayne asks when he opens the door after two minutes of the knocking. He doesn’t say anything but it reminds him of his brothers. He’d been doing the same, but you recognized his work as some work you’d completed the week prior. What a slacker. 

“Not really,” He laughs, shuts your notebook, and tosses it to your bed. “Let’s go! Jaime has the car.” 

“You’re going to that party in the run-down tunnel?” Wayne raises an eyebrow as you rise from your chair, twisting your back to get out any cracks. He’d noticed your outfit from your normal loungewear but didn’t think anything of it. “Yeah, wanna come?” Frankie grins and checks the time. “We got time to wait for you, if you want.” While you hope he doesn’t, you sort of want him to. Maybe it’s so you both will lose time that could’ve been spent doing work, maybe it’s so you can have someone you know won’t do anything stupid at the party there. Maybe you just enjoy being around him. But Wayne looks between the two of you before he rolls his eyes and gets off the bed. 

“I’ll be ready in five.” 

And he was. 

The theme was Rave in a Cave, or whatever that meant. So you were inclined to wear neon clothes or something flashy. But you didn’t have anything of the sort. As such, a pair of shorts and a sweater will do. Wayne opts for a white T-shirt and black pants. 

“I won’t drink,” You offer as the four of you get into Frankie’s car. “You three can.” 

“I don’t partake in drinking,” Wayne adds as he puts on his seatbelt making you feel compelled to put yours on as well. “Especially in these settings.” He almost physically turns his nose up at the idea of drinking booze provided by people he doesn’t know, let alone trust. 

“Respect that, totally,” Frankie pulls out of his parking spot while Jaime plays some music on the speakers. He glances at the two of you but you’re busy on your phone and Wayne is making note of where the car goes to notice. Jaime smacks his arm and makes a motion that makes Frankie laugh. 

It’s not a long drive to the tunnel— but it does take a minute to find parking. 

“Why don’t you drink, if I might ask?” Wayne asks as the two of you trail behind Frankie and Jaime. They’re recording some videos and taking pictures that they’ll occasionally make the two of you join in. 

“I hate the taste,” You shrug. “And addiction isn’t something I’d want to fall into. You?” He moves to the side as a couple runs down the pavement wearing bright clothes and clearly already tipsy. 

“I’d prefer to be sober when I’m away from home.” He returns to his spot and his eyes flicker to the entrance of the tunnel. “So my actions aren’t due to an inebriated state of mind.” Humming, the four of you are allowed inside and there are a lot of people. 

Half of the student body must be inside the tunnel. It stretches for a couple of miles but gets blocked off by a wire gate. The walls are chipped and almost rotten looking with graffiti and posters messily placed along. There are color lights strung up along the walls and if they went out the place would be pitch black. 

The DJ is one of the music majors, you recognize him from one of the random people who followed you when your high school posted the school you were going to. He’s playing some loud ass music with extra bass that makes you cringe. 

“Here,” Wayne hands you one of the glow sticks turned into a necklace and you thank him, slipping it over your neck. He has one but it’s around his wrist instead. Frankie and Jaime went separate ways almost immediately— they asked first and you just nodded and went to a corner. 

How the fuck do you even act at parties. 

“Hi-hi!” A woman stands in front of you, dressed for a rave with a lot of Kandi bracelets running up her arms and those weed glasses. She’s in one of your classes. 

“Hey,” You offer a smile. 

“Saw you’re nervous! Rave virginity!!!” She laughs and looks along her arms. “Here, this is called a Kandi trade— but you don’t give anything.” She starts to pull off a large red and black cuff and motions for you to grab her hand. Against your better judgment, you do and she does some hand movements before she transfers the cuff to your arm. 

“That’s cool! Thank you!” She laughs again and nods, leaving you in the corner to do more trades. 

An hour or so passes and Wayne spots you in the sea of people. He sees you have a lot more jewelry on than when you first came and you’re enjoying yourself. Dancing and singing along to the music, jumping with others, and such. But he’s been keeping a close eye and knows you haven’t drunk anything. Not even the water bottle that was offered to you some time ago. 

He feels at ease with that and his eyes linger on Jaime. He’s impressed that… bug is keeping cool at the party and he sees Frankie laughing with some of the chem majors by the DJ, requesting songs. 

He’s been stuck to a wall for the entirety of the party, he didn’t even want to go in the first place. But he figured it would be best if he did, something in him told him that. And he understood why when he saw your face go from joyful to sour. 

His eyes scan the people around you and he sees something yelling at you. Their face was red from the alcohol and the anger they were feeling. He pushes himself from the wall and makes his way over to you. 

“Is there an issue?” He asks you, completely ignoring the loud guy. You give him a thank you look and shake your head. 

“Just some drunk idiot thinking I’m trying to hit on their date,” You snicker and he raises an eyebrow, seeing the drunk person now tongue-deep with their date. He looks away, almost embarrassed for them. 

“How fun,” He smiles and you laugh. He thinks that’s the first time he’s actually made you laugh from something that wasn’t you beating him. 

“Wayne, you dance?” You ask as the song changes to something made to move to. He shakes his head, unable to look away from you. “Me neither! But we should!” 

He agrees, forgetting his home training and dancing along with you. He’s sure at some point someone will hurt their ankle from the jumping and the very uncoordinated movements but he doesn’t care. Anything to relish in this moment. 

At some point the song changes and you're out of breath, dragging him to a wall to sit against. He wants to protest but he sees you’re sitting on fabric and not the ground directly and joins you. The little area is tucked into a divet in the wall, your backs to a cold, metal service door. So no one could step on either one of you. 

“Hey, Wayne.” You call and he looks over. His eyes trace over your face as you’re not smiling as hard but the excitement in your eyes hasn’t died out. Your forehead is covered in sweat and he has to stop himself from wiping it off. “I didn’t know you’d be such a nice party partner. We outta do this more often.” You look at him and admire his eyes. In truth, you’ve never given him a real look before. 

Sure, you know his eyes are green. But you never noticed how green, or how in this light you can see the rings of blue in them. Or how there’s tiny little white scars on the exposed skin of his neck. Or the scar above his right eyebrow. 

“We should,” He agrees and wow, you’re really close. You can feel his breath ghost over your lips. Tentatively, you look down at his lips as he licks them then back to his eyes. 

“Should we?” You grin, swiping your tongue over your lips. 

“Yes.” He nods and closes the gap. His hand holds your neck and you hold his collar. At that moment, as the butterflies are alive and well in your stomach, as his lips press to yours, as his grip pulls you tighter, you’re so glad he agreed to go to the party. Even happier than this action— that kissing him was a completely sober choice made by the both of you. 

This will either be the best or the worst decision of your life. 

—

A year after the party, Damian enters the dorm after finishing up his last class for the day. You’d been on your phone, checking up on your internship application before setting it down when he walked in. 

“I got a hundred on the fake final.” You grin, reaching over to pull him down onto your bed. He lets you, stopping his fall by planting his hands on either side of your head. He shifts his legs so one is between yours and the other is locking your left leg between his. You’ll never understand his upper body strength, but you’d definitely never complain about it. 

“Me too.” He smirks and kisses the corner of your mouth. You frown and grab his face, pulling him in for a proper kiss. He adjusts himself on the bed by moving one arm to slide underneath you and you love that feeling. Your hands slide from the sides of his face to his shoulders, pinching the fabric to try and get it off. 

“Lock the door next time,” Jaime groans as he walks into the room. Damian pulls away and glares at him. You roll your head to see him and not very discreetly try and wave him away. “Aye, I’m just here for your charger. Mine broke and you’re rich.” He holds his hands up, showing Damian’s charger and the two of you watch him leave. 

“I’m getting the higher score on the final,” You tell him once the door shuts. He looks at you, an eyebrow raised before he gets up to lock the door. 

“Doubtful,” He grins, returning to his previous spot on top of you. His eyes scanned all over your face and his hand traced along your hairline. “I’m still on top.” His eyes flicker to yours and you scoff. 

“Pretty sure you bottom,” 

“Just this once.”

[heeambi]

79 with jake or hoon also!! :3

Ngl I might make a fic similar to this 🤫

Y/n stood in the middle of the crowded living, the music and chatter drowning out her thoughts as she stood there, nursing her drink in her hand, a pretence to look occupied while her gaze scanned around the room. Her heart was beating right out of her chest; she had not known he would show up here. She took a long sip of her drink, trying to calm her racing heart. Her eyes scanned around the room one more time, taking in the faces of the people gathered in the living room. Then, her gaze came to a halt-there he was, standing just across the room. A tall, lean figure dressed in dark jeans and a casual sweater. His hair was the same as it had been when she saw him, showing off his good-looking features. It was Sunghoon. Her ex.

She just could not tear her eyes from him as he stood there talking with a group of people, his mouth curving into his familiar smile. Memories of their time spent together flooded through her mind, the gold as well as the bad. She had not seen him face-to-face since he went to study abroad six years ago. But then, he looked up, and his gaze met hers from across the room. For a short moment, their eyes locked, and there was a shock of surprise passing over their faces. The smile faded from his lips and was replaced by a mix of confusion and something else she could not quite point out. He excused himself from the group of people and started making his way toward her; his steps were slow and measured.

Y/n, on the other hand, frowned in shock, her heart hammering in her chest. Part of her wanted to bolt, but another part of her wanted to see where this would end up going. He stopped a few steps away from her, his eyes roamed over her face, taking in the changed time had left in her. "Y/n." His voice, after all those years, still sent shivers down her spine. "Sunghoon," she said, her voice came out huskier than she'd intended. She took a small sip of her drink, using the opportunity to try and compose herself. "I wasn't really expecting to see you here." He chuckled low and familiarly. "I could say the same," he said, his gaze still lingering on her. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" y/n nodded, her eyes darted away from his for a moment. "Mhm, It has," she agreed quietly. The air between them was thick with tension, years-old memories, and unspoken words hanged heavily between them.

He shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. It was such a familiar gesture, one which she had seen many times before.

"How have you been? " he asked, casual, but a glint of curiosity was betrayed in his eyes. "I've been good," she replied, her heart fluttering at the genuine interest in his voice. "Just been working, living life. How was your study abroad program? " he smiled, a hint of nostalgia in those eyes. "It was great actually," he said. "I got to experience many different parts of the world. But I gotta say, it was really tough being away from home for so long."

She nodded, her chest tugged by a pang of sympathy. She had always worried so much about him being so far away, how he was coping, being alone in a foreign country. Despite it all, she missed him. It fell silent between them, the tension palpable. Sunghoon looked like he wanted to say something, but he held back, as if weighing his words. She took a deep breath, trying to suppress the wave of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. "Uhm, listen," she began, her voice softer, "I know we didn't part on the best of terms, but-" he held up his hands, cutting her off.

"I know," he said, his voice low. "I was such a jerk for leaving without a proper goodbye. And I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you that way." Her heart hiccuped at the apology in his voice. Part of her wanted to hold onto that resentment, but she couldn't help softening further because of the sincerity in those eyes. "Why, then, did you leave so suddenly? " she finally asked, her voice barely over a whisper. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "I was young and foolish," he said, "got caught in the excitement of the opportunity and didnt think about how it would affect you. I was selfish; I know. I regretted it every day since."

Y/n stood there in silence for a moment, digesting his words.

A part of her wanted to forgive him right there and then, but years of hurt and betrayal were hard to shake off. "What about now? " she asked, her voice steady. He took a couple more steps closer to her, his eyes searching here. "Now," he said, his voice barely abive a murmur, "I realized how much I lost by leaving just like that. I've missed you, Y/n." her breath caught in her throat at his words. A thousand emotions warred within her — the old pain, the lingering hurt, and the undeniable ache of her heart. "Sunghoon, you can't just waltz back into my life and expect me to forgive you that easily," she said, her voice shaking.

He nodded understanding her anger. "I don't expect you to forgive me immediately. I know it isn't that simple. I just. I wanted you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm willing to make things right, if you'll let me." Y/n averted her eyes, her heart torn in two directions. Part of her wanted to give in, to let him back into her life, but a larger part of her was terrified-terrified of getting hurt again, of giving him her trust only for him to disappear without so much as a warning. He reached out, his hand brushing gently against her arm. The touch was simple, but a shiver traced its way down her spine; it took all of her will not to lean into the touch. "Please, give me a chance," he pleaded with his voice low. "Let me prove to you that I have changed." She closed her eyes as the wave of longing crashed over her. She had dreamt about this moment for so long; the moment when he would realize his mistake and apologize, and they found their way back into each other's arms. Reality never came quite that simply, however. She opened her eyes again, looking up into his. "I don't know, Sunghoon," she whispered, shaking. "I don't know if I can trust you again."

click here to see the rest of my celebration list !

[slamdunkhcs]

A story i had thought of for years now ngl 😭

rukawa visiting hanamichi during rehabilitation, a short story

The off-putting smell of disinfectant hung in the still air, mingling with the low volume of a midday game show playing on the small TV mounted in the corner. The hospital room was unremarkable—plain walls, a small window filtering gray light—but to Hanamichi Sakuragi, it felt like a prison. He sat slouched against the headboard, his gaze stuck on the screen but his mind miles away. His red hair, which was now overgrown and unkempt, had lost its usual vibrancy under the harsh fluorescent lights. For someone who had always lived in constant motion, a boy who had gone about life energized and brimming with reckless energy, being confined to this quiet, sterile place felt like slowly disappearing.

The days blurred together, each one stretching into the next. Rehabilitation was tough, not just on his body, but on his pride. After the Sannoh game—after putting everything on the line—he’d found himself here, recovering from the spinal injury that cut his season short. The doctors were optimistic about his recovery, but for Sakuragi, it felt like he’d been benched by life itself. Just when he thought he had discovered himself and his greatest passion. It hurt Hanamichi deeply, to say the least.

He poked at the tray of hospital food on the table beside him, which had gone cold and untouched, as his appetite had become buried beneath frustration and exhaustion. The early days of rehabilitation had been filled with visitors—his teammates showing up with easy jokes and loud promises that he’d be back on the court in no time. But life moved on, and the visits trickled away, leaving Sakuragi alone in a limbo of uncertainty.

A knock at the door jolted him out of his thoughts. He frowned. It was probably a nurse coming to nag him about his progress—or lack thereof.

“Come in,” he grumbled, not bothering to sit up straighter.

The door creaked open, and Sakuragi blinked in surprise. Standing there, calm and completely unbothered, was Kaede Rukawa. He was dressed in a hoodie and jeans, with a plastic bag in one hand and a basketball tucked under his arm. Without saying a word, Rukawa stepped inside, his sharp eyes sweeping the room before landing on Sakuragi.

“Fox?!” Sakuragi shouted, his voice somewhere between shock and indignation. “What are you doing here?”

“Visiting,” Rukawa replied simply, closing the door behind him. He placed the basketball on the chair near the bed and set the plastic bag on the small table.

“Well, I don’t need your pity,” Sakuragi shot back, folding his arms with a defensive scowl. His movements were stiff, the soreness in his back betraying him.

“It’s not pity,” Rukawa said, his voice as steady and indifferent as ever. He unpacked the bag and placed a bento box and a sports drink on the tray. “But you do look pathetic.”

Sakuragi’s jaw dropped, his fist clenching on instinct. “Why you—”

“Eat,” Rukawa interrupted, cutting him off with a tone so calm it was infuriating. He sat down in the chair, leaning back as if he had all the time in the world.

Sakuragi scowled at him but reached for the bento anyway. His hunger outweighed his pride, and he wasn’t about to starve to make a point. As he unwrapped the box and picked up the chopsticks, he shot Rukawa a suspicious glance. “Alright, what’s the deal? Why are you really here? Coach send you?”

Rukawa gave a slight nod. “Anzai-sensei wanted me to check in. Said you’d probably be sulking.”

“I’m not sulking!” Sakuragi shot back, his voice rising. “I’m just… thinking.”

“About what?” Rukawa asked, his gaze was direct in a way that made it impossible to dodge.

Caught off guard, Sakuragi hesitated, poking at the rice in his bento box. “About… basketball,” he muttered. “About whether I’ll ever play again.”

“You will,” Rukawa said, his voice so annoyingly matter-of-fact it left no room for doubt.

Sakuragi glanced at him, his irritation giving way to something softer. “How can you be so sure?”

“Because you’re too stubborn to quit,” Rukawa replied, leaning back further in his chair and stretching his arms. “Even when you’re terrible, you don’t stop.”

“Terrible?!” Sakuragi snapped, his voice fuming with indignation. “Are you here to insult me or motivate me, fox?”

Rukawa’s lips curved into the faintest smirk. “Both.”

For a moment, Sakuragi didn’t know whether to laugh or throw the bento box at his head. He settled for a grudging grin and shoved another bite of food into his mouth. The silence stretched between them, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. For once, it felt… natural.

As Sakuragi finished his meal, he leaned back against the pillows, his expression growing more serious. “You know,” he began, his voice quieter now, “when I first got hurt, I didn’t want to see anyone. Not you guys, not even Coach. I felt… weak. Like I let everyone down.”

“You didn’t,” Rukawa said. His voice was slightly softer than usual but just as steady and certain.

Sakuragi let out a dry laugh, and his gaze dropped to his hands. “Yeah, right. I barely lasted the game. I pushed myself too hard, and now I’m here. Meanwhile, you’re all out there playing while I’m stuck in this bed.”

“You gave everything,” Rukawa responded. “That’s what mattered.”

Sakuragi looked up and blinked, startled by the blunt honesty in Rukawa’s voice. “Did you just… compliment me? Did Kaede Rukawa actually say something nice?”

“Don’t get used to it,” Rukawa replied with a shrug, though there was a faint trace of amusement in his expression.

Sakuragi laughed, the sound spilling out before he could stop it. It hurt, his back protesting the sudden movement, but he couldn’t help himself. Rukawa stood, grabbing the basketball and placing it on the bed.

“When you’re ready,” he said quietly, “we’ll see who the real tensai is.”

Sakuragi’s grin widened, and in that moment, it was as if his old spark returned. “You’d better be ready, fox. I’m coming back stronger than ever.”

Rukawa didn’t respond, but as he reached the door, he paused and glanced back. “Take your time. Don’t rush it.”

When the door clicked shut behind him, Sakuragi stared at the basketball sitting at the foot of his bed. The sterile room felt a little less suffocating now. For the first time in weeks, he felt something close to hope—something solid enough to hold on to.

He leaned back against the pillows, his hand brushed the basketball as a small, determined smile crossed his face. The road ahead would be long and hard and painful, but he’d take every step. And when he came back, he’d make sure Rukawa never forgot who the real tensai was.

[mossyvil]

vil with an s/o whos like rarity from mlp. theyre beautiful, love fashion, and are so so much kinder and understanding than vil (i mean theg prob have a friend whos like applejack ngl). they help epel with his skincare routine, converse with rook in french, and are just a perfect match to vil. imagine they become the mother figure of pomefiore like that one mom whos cool and knows all the trends and it doesnt feel when she calls you darling bc it makes you feel like youre on top of the world like yeah

i think this would be really good to kind of balance out vil! like he does actually care about his dorm members but he can be pretty harsh and demanding so his partner is there to remind him that he doesn’t need to be to tough with them. the first years all refer to you as their parent and then when epel points out that would mean vil is their dad they all refuse to talk about it after that LMAOOO no but epel specifically is so grateful for you because you make vil a lot softer in his approach and it really shows in how much kinder he’s been treating his dorm members. rook is just glad to have someone who actually talks back to him in french because some other people do understand it, but not a lot of people are willing to indulge him in a full conversation in it. he also extends his vil simping to you and says that together you make the most beautiful couple in twisted wonderland (which is actually probably true) and vil also loves having a partner who’s into fashion, being able to talk casually about it instead of with a designer who’s just there to try to impress him is a breath of fresh air. he also definitely wants to see your designs if you’d be willing to show him!!

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part One

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Warnings: This is gonna deal with a lot of controversial shit surrounding Matty and his past I'm ngl, so if you're not into that then I'd suggest not reading this! But if you are, then hi!! I hope you enjoy?

Authors Note: I'm back...:)) Back with a series too, or it will be if this first part goes down well! Lmao so pls don't hate it! Butttt in all honestly, I do have to quickly thank @procrastinatinglikeapro for all the kind words she gave me on the snippets I annoyed her with recently and for forcing me to actually believe in this fic because I very much was on the fence about posting again. So thank youuuu, it means a whole lot<3 Also, the skeleton of this was taken from a very old fic of mine which I started during the height of covid that I've just been thinking about trying to better for a long while now, so... enjoy?

And I guess let me know if this is something anyone would want to read more of? Yeeeeah, I really don't know what else to write here now, it's been a while, so! Hi, help, bye:)

Masterlist

Chapter 1: He's got the whole world falling at his feet

“Yeah, yeah! I’m really into their sound at the minute! Honestly fell in love with their recent performance at the VMA’s– didn’t overdo it and kept it true to themselves. Definitely did a great job there, so well done with that one if you’re listening in, lads!”

I was grinning from ear to ear as I spoke into the microphone before me, which was to be expected whenever I was at work. Strange, yeah I know, but only to any typical person with the usual nine to five, because I truly did love my job. It was tough work, strenuous at times, contrary to what most might believe, but it was pretty much everything I’d ever dreamt of.

See, I’d grown up on the outskirts of this tiny village in the Isles, where everybody knew everything about everybody. Secrets were never well kept– you could just ask our local priest about that one, who often used to regale most of the confessions he’d heard in the only pub around for miles whenever he’d been pissed beyond being able to sit on his barstool. 

It was also incredibly tight-knit, as in, all the kids who went to school together, then grew up and married one another, settling down and taking over the jobs that their parents or grandparents would soon retire from. Hardly anyone moved away, if ever.

In reality though, it was actually just a place I’d always felt like a stranger in. Where I’d struggled to fit in and make friends, to form bonds outside of the one I shared with my mum. 

Which sounds sad speaking about it, but still true, I’d had a real tough go of it back in school. ‘Mouse’ was what they’d seemingly dubbed me back then, a nickname which had travelled throughout the masses all too quickly seeing as there had only been about sixteen kids in both my year and the one above. 

The name had mostly started due to me just having been an extremely timid child, hiding behind my mum’s flowing skirts whenever we went into town and much preferring that of my own company whenever other kids were mulling about. But that fact hadn’t gotten any easier for me once I’d been forced out of school for a few years after an accident that had flipped my entire life on its head. Resulting in me being further isolated from the rest of the world and my fuck-face of a father running for the hills.

Still. Shit happened, I supposed, and I’d been forced to deal with it and grow up.

Too quickly, in truth.

So whilst everyone else had been out living, I’d been holed up in our little dove cottage miles away from them all, with only books and music to keep me company. Music which had been a true constant in my life and just about the only thing that had gotten me by.

As well as my mum, who’d forever be my rock. And back when we’d both been growing up– because that was how it’d always felt with us– she had constantly had the tele on full blast throughout the day, cycling through the freeview channels that played the recent top 50 and old school classics.

It was one of my favourite things to look back on now. Sometimes if she was ever in the mood, or when the power would finally flicker and go out completely when a storm hit, she’d spin this old phonograph her own father had gifted her in the days before she’d left home. The two of us would dance around the living room whilst she would clean on Saturday mornings and then hum to it as we settled in for a long downpour, her working on her trusty crossword whilst I would read or draw. The brass  pavilion would croon out old French records she had bought long before she’d moved to the UK, and before she’d ever even met my father.

And I would just lose myself in it all. 

It wasn’t just the basic premise of music that I had enjoyed though, it was everything else that also came along with it. The opinions, the reviews, the personal stories and thoughts, the way it could make a person think and feel. 

So, for years I would just sit down at the kitchen table and write for hours on end about the sound, the rhythms I’d felt and heard, the lyrics that had had me bellowing out or playing on a never-ending loop in my head. And then, as a teen, Twitter had come along and had been just another way for me to express it all.

It was actually Twitter that had eventually led to all of this. 

The radio.

At first, I’d never paid much mind to all of the people who had started to discover the small page I’d created, the few users that had enjoyed reading my inner thoughts. But then one day I had and it had been an insane concept to comprehend, the very idea that people cared enough to stop and read my thoughts, but it was also what had, ultimately, pushed me into continuing with it.

From there, opinions on genres of music and their style throughout different decades quickly turned into thoughts on up and coming artists, then actors and other A-list celebrities. So I had ended up spending an awful lot of time online, simply just tweeting about it all, on subjects followers had wanted to hear about and answering questions on whether I loved a certain album or this new EP. 

The account had grown rapidly shortly after and by the time I’d had the balls to tell my mum I had wanted to leave home and make a start for myself, in London of all places, the account I used had gained well over fifteen thousand followers.

I went to uni down there and met people. People who didn’t shy away from me or shine a light on my odd quirks. I met my best mate there, too. And Finn was unlike any other. The platonic love of my life, or so I’d since dubbed. He was eccentric, witty, and didn’t care about what anyone else thought of him. Forced me to feel that way too, slowly but surely. And it had only taken a few weeks before he'd grown rather suspicious of my constant need to always have my phone near.

He had, pretty early on, decided that I must’ve had some secret boyfriend back at home that I’d yet to tell him about and had annoyed me about it at every twist and turn, basically backed me into a metaphorical corner. So to say I’d relented fairly quickly wouldn’t be a lie, and I’d told him all about the account soon enough.

Finn had actually been the one to suggest that I take it further, somewhere bigger, make it into something that people could actually tune into and not just read about. I had taken the consideration on board way back then, but had only acted on it when shit had hit the fan a year or so later. But we'll soon get into that.

So with it all, I ended up making an actual radio show out of my thoughtless Twitter account, allowing people to listen in and actually get to know the person behind the name.

That was essentially how ‘Mouse On A Mic' had come to life.

Yup, I’d kept the fucking nickname! I couldn’t not in truth, it was familiar, reminded me of the person I once was, and who I currently am now. But the only difference was, I’d given it a new story. I’d reclaimed it. 

The show's audience grew fairly quickly during that first year, I was new on the scene and seemingly refreshing. I had a no-bullshit kind of attitude that my listeners apparently admired. I called celebs out on their crap and went to new extremes to conjure up inventive ways to get followers involved. 

Ultimately ended up doing things that other radio presenters were too afraid to do at the time. Which was fair enough, in hindsight, they had actual endorsers and brands that were backing them up and funding their streams. Me, on the other hand, I had no-one to answer to for my mistakes or any of the backlash the show received. It was just me, sat alone in my bedroom, speaking into a mic.

Only, a few years had since passed and now it was me sitting in a quaint little studio in East London, not too far from my flat and walking distance from any and every coffee chain that the city had to offer. 

Anyway, I forced myself to adjust my headset over my right ear as I wheeled closer to the table, aware of the one too many monitors and power cables I had to constantly avoid, and glanced upwards, locking eyes with my co-producer, Adi.

The girl shot me a hurried gesture, a circular wave of her hand that had me chuckling to myself even as I silently waved her off, knowing I’d already gotten off track one too many times this recording. 

"Alright! It seems as though we've got to move on with the next segment of the show now! Unfortunately, Ads here has informed me that I can't just sit around all day and talk about Inhaler forever. A right shame that, don’t you think?”

I huffed theatrically whilst Adi merely shook her head in return, dark ringlets brushing the length of her shoulders as she mouthed the word 'prick' through the thick sheet of plexiglass that separated us.

Ignoring that loving endearment in favour of continuing on with the commentary, I hoped I hadn’t steered too far off track seeing as there was still an awful lot scheduled for today's show that I had yet to go over.

“So moving on!” I sighed on into the mic and rubbed my palms together, eyes flitting over the few sheets of paper I had perched before me, “It seems like quite a few of you lot, over on Twitter especially, have made it loudly known that you want to hear my thoughts on Manchester’s very own Matthew Healy. God, is there yet another scandal under his belt I don’t yet know about? Makes me wonder where he’s finding the time.”

I shook my head briefly at the bulleted point I’d been given and rolled forward in my seat. The wheels squeaked beneath my weight and I made a silent prayer that the mics hadn’t picked up the sound. 

What a fucking topic, I thought quietly to myself and sent Adi a semi-amused smile before peering down at the recent headline she had handed over to me earlier that morning.

It was the same old thing. Expected really at this point.

“Healy’s at it again! Whatever will we do?” I gasped, playing up the whole thing as I stared down at a few images of the haughty singer that were plastered across the printout I held in front of me. 

There were four of them, a quick succession of pictures that had all seemingly come from a clip at a recent concert. Bit blurry but the title gave away to what was happening.

A laugh bubbled up out of my throat as soon as I read the headline. “Oh God! It appears Matty Healy is– wait for it!– back at it again, only this time it seems he’s gone and traded off a drumstick for…” I paused to drum quite the anticipating beat against the tabletop of my desk and, as stoic as I possibly could, I then added, “A joint!” 

A smug grin slid its way up onto my lips when I heard Adi’s faint cackle echo from just outside the booth.

“Honestly, I swear that everything this man does makes the rags! Reckon I actually saw an article about how he took his tea this one time. And like, do me a favour, yeah?” I rolled my eyes but relented, “A man of the people though, in’t he? He’s got to be! I mean, just look at this headline. Fucking who the hell writes this shit?”

Tossers, I supposed. But even so.

“It’s madness.” I muttered, gently clucking my tongue as I shook my head at the so-called news that had made the front page. “But anyway, I’m guessing that most people claim him to be the epitome of a real time rockstar, and sure, he might just be. 'Sex, drugs, rock & roll', all that shit. But really, how much longer is it going to last until everything goes tits up, hey?

“I mean, Healy can pretty much do whatever he wants at this point in his career, he’s got half the world either falling at his feet or complaining about him- has done since he was what, a kid? Following his parents amongst the shadows of their fame before he eventually stepped out and made an actual name for himself. Saying that, it still is insane to see how much he’s changed!”

And it was. Healy and his band had risen to fame so evidently, their music everywhere, they sold out shows constantly and had the privilege to fly across the globe doing whatever they pleased. But they’d also practically grown up in the limelight, Matty especially. So it was hard not to notice the resounding changes that shone through in all the news and gossip that ran riot.

“But, if I am being truthful.” I went on to say, thumb toying with the page’s sharp edge, “And when am I not? I thought that most of the shit that went around about him at first was a load of crap– publicity of sorts, if you get where I'm going with that. Or maybe just him being an idiot, a young lad who’s had to grow up with all these cameras consistently on him and had to basically learn what he can and can’t say in front of them. Slipping up from time to time, like most do. But, now? I’m honestly not too sure… It’s just a bit sad. Isn't it? There was so much potential there.”

I shrugged, a hearty sigh falling with my shoulders.

“I actually used to quite like his stuff a couple years ago, he’s got a way with words, with music overall really. Reckon if he’d gotten his shit together that he probably could’ve been ranked higher up on the list of rockstars. Could’ve changed or paved a way for newer musicians entering the scene. But not so much anymore. His songs lack the passion they once had, they’re not what they used to be. He works hard, I’ll give him that. Still, I can’t help but wonder if it’s just his band pulling his dead weight along with them now.”

I took a slow breath, then gazed down at the small amount of sticky notes I had pinned to the monitor beside me: the next segment. I’d have to wrap this one up quickly.

“Maybe that’s a bit harsh.” I said, chewing on my lower lip, “But honestly, I just hope that he takes an actual break sooner rather than later. The band looks spent and he just seems like he could do with some shut eye, some time away from all the cameras and prying eyes. Just so he can sort himself out good and proper, you know? Then again, that’s just my opinion among a sea of many.”

In truth, I really did think that Matty had real talent, that raw kind, and he seemed like a nice enough guy– or at least he had done, a couple of years back, before all the controversy and whatever else. 

Now though, the man just seemed so caught up in it all, in the fame, the tabloids, the drama. Unaware of just how far he’d fallen.

Me, I’d seen it one too many times before, with many of the greats even, and as painful as it was to watch, what more could I say or do? I'm nobody in comparison.

I blew out a short breath.

“Fuck, that got all serious didn’t it?” I tried to laugh it all off and only felt a little more at ease when I finally glanced up and caught Adi’s sincere smile, “Anyway, onto our next segment, reading a couple of your lots tweets! Let's see what everyone's saying about our amazing Adi today, shall we? What was it last week, Ads, those yellow trousers you were wearing?”

--

“Oi, will you two please stop mucking about? We’ve got to get going!” I scolded without any actual heat, shaking my head as I held back a chuckle, forever amused by the infamous pair stood a way away from me. 

I’d not long since left the studio, having walked with Adi to the nearby tube station so that she could hop a train home before I had headed on over to Finn’s. It was a typical route for me and not too long of a walk, but since arriving I’d been roped into packing up the many belongings that had been messily upended from the Spiderman backpack I was so often seen carrying about.

My gaze skittered over to the other side of the room once I’d teethed together the bag’s plastic zipper, over to where my son, Teddy, was currently in the midst of being whirled around by his godfather, tawny coloured curls flying in every-which direction whilst his cheeky grin grew even more prominent.

I felt the corners of my mouth lift upwards as I watched my best mate laugh at whatever it was the toddler had just said to him, tickling the boy’s sides as he did. If I was feeling incredibly sappy, I’d tell Finn then just how thankful I was to have him around, because he truly was incredible. 

From the moment I’d found out that I was pregnant, Finn had been there for me. He loved my son almost as though Teddy was his own, he adored the kid like no other and had placed him on a pedestal high above everyone else since the day he was born. 

Finn was always free to take Teddy whenever I had the show to fret about too, or if I was ever in dire need of another helping hand. He was fiercely protective of the two of us and I knew in the very depths of my heart that there would never be a hair harmed on my son’s head so long as he was around. 

I was pulled from my thoughts just as the toddler in question came bounding over, giggling uncontrollably as Finn chased after him, his arms stretched out wide and crouched down low to mimic the small boy's height. I couldn't help but notice the matching grins they both wore.

“Help!” Teddy squealed as he flung himself into my awaiting arms, allowing me to wrap him up and settle him safely on my hip, using my frame as a shield to block him from Finn’s view.

"You can't hide from me Teds, I’ll always find you!" Finn taunted playfully, laughing merrily whilst he wiggled his fingers at Teddy, who was only just peeking out at him from over my shoulder.

Teddy squirmed in my grasp, giggling and screaming senselessly as he tried to dodge Finn’s oncoming hands that had since managed to softly graze his sides. I could only roll his eyes in fond exasperation, the pair never failing to brighten my day, and couldn't help but feel ever so grateful for whatever being had brought Finn into both mine and Teddy’s lives.

You see, Finn was the closest thing I’d ever had to a brother, let alone a best friend. He’d been the family I’d never known I’d needed, a home away from home. And I knew that I could always count on him for just about anything and he had proved that the day I’d turned up on his doorstep in the pissing rain one Tuesday night, utterly terrified after having just found out that I was expecting. 

“Alright, you lot!” I began, batting away one of Finn’s advancing hands as he made to grab at Teddy's tiny ankle. “We've got to get home in time for your bath and tea, and I think Finn here has to pick up Liv from work.”

I was directing my voice towards the toddler in my arms but also sent a knowing look Finn’s way, one which caused the man’s eyes to widen in immediate realisation. ‘Liv’ was actually the lovely Olivia, Finn’s newest fling– only she had managed to last quite a while longer than the rest, a new record for him really. 

“Shit, yeah.” Finn muttered mostly to himself before he hurried on over to his desk in the far corner. I could only laugh quietly, Teddy joining in too when he noticed, and watched on as Finn hastily started to grab at an array of items, shoving them into his jean pockets. Phone. Wallet. Keys.

When he was finished, and somewhat out of breath, Finn spun back around towards us and shot an accusing brow our way, not too pleased about having been the source of our mirth. Teddy and I couldn't help ourselves then and laughed a little harder at his impervious expression. 

But with that all done and over with, I simply pressed my nose against the side of Teddy's head and smiled contently into his curls whilst Finn merely rolled his eyes at the two of us, chuckling before he made a start for the door. I followed just behind him, Teddy's backpack slung low over my shoulder and a happy little boy nestled in my arms.

***

People lover @/user1 Imagine being a mediocre radio host and thinking you know the ins and outs of the music industry.. #CancelMouse

102 @/user2  Don't mind me, reckon I just found my new favourite radio show:)

Ugh! @/user3 Mouse sounded proper excited today but switched up so quick when that 75 bloke came up://

Soloveme @/user4 Hate to see people supporting toxic behaviour, sit down. 

Milk @/user5 Don’t hate me, I'll forever be a matty girlie!! But @Mouseonamic I kinda agree??

Paris @/user6 Do you think he’s seen it yet? > Too_shy @/user7 Probably, it’s trending rn >> Drummepls @/user8 Hope he’s okay and doesn’t take it as a personal attack.. 

He should’ve known really.

He should’ve fucking known.

Even in his drunken state he should have known not to look at what they were all fucking saying about him. Slumped on the floor of his hotel room, propped up against the bathroom door, too exhausted to think about moving, let alone try.

He’d only heard a small snippet, caught the last of a conversation on it in a cab ride back from the club the band had found themselves in. But he had heard it, and he had listened. 

"He's got the whole world falling at his feet." He fucking wished. "Changed." Too right. "A load of crap- publicity of sorts, if you get where I'm going with that- but now I'm not too sure." Laughable, man. "It's just a bit sad." The story of his fucking life. "Potential." When’s he never not disappointing someone? "Lacks passion." Passion lies in living, mate, and he hasn't felt alive in a very long time. 

"Not what it used to be." Who he used to be.

He lit another cigarette from a crumpled pack he’d pulled from his back pocket and watched on as a curl of smoke unfurled in the air. He only wished he’d gone and brought something upstairs with him, or grabbed one of them little bottles from the minibar before he had decided he’d needed a piss. But if he closed his eyes hard enough he could imagine it all going dark, the world just fading around him, and the cigarette was suddenly enough.

Though, even then he still couldn’t quite muffle the loud, pitying laugh that escaped him as he continued to scroll through the mass of tweets that never faltered on his phone. They were like a freight train, unable to stop.

Matty wiped his nose on his sleeve.

Never had he ever felt so fucking lost. Desperate for everything to just pause for a simple second. To stop and just leave him alone for a bit. To have the world let him wallow in the dark dank pit he's hollowed out for himself.

But what a fucking life, hey?

Carelessly, Matty thumbed across the dimming screen, his intoxicated mind too focused on the task at hand to remember why exactly it was he was even sitting there on the cold bathroom floor. Something to do with Hann, he supposed, or George. Perhaps another heated encounter? Probably.

The sound of his phone's keyboard echoed off the surrounding walls and he breathed out a self-depreciating chuckle when he clicked send on the tweet he’d been attempting to curate, not caring enough for the consequences. Hardly even thinking, in truth. 

He was far too gone to care anymore, already knew firsthand what the repercussions would be tomorrow. But at that moment, he just wanted honesty. To tell the truth, for once. To let them all know that he knew he was a shit excuse for a person.

What more could the world possibly say anyway? 

Everyone around him was the same. He was simply just a puppet on a string. They’d make him sing and dance until the day he finally wrapped those wired strings tightly around his neck, and then all they'd be able to do is sit back and watch the show. And he'd enjoy every unabating second of it.

Matty @/trumanblack 10s ago Radio shows are sick man, gotta love them! And I sort of am sad haha. And I do lie? We all lie, I spose. But just listen to the radio, kids! Open your ears!

He laughed silently after, thoroughly amused with himself, and tossed the phone off somewhere off to the side so that he wouldn’t have to look at it again. 

Bullshit. It was all just fucking bullshit.

[rems-writing]

To ensure your right-hand man's comfort

Pairing: gangster!Yunho × right-hand!reader

Summary: We really just need more mafia/gangster Yunho fics ngl. Also, this is not good at all so I'm sorry :(

Warning(s): mentions of guns, violence, gore, knives being thrown, gn!reader, soft!Yunho

Genre: Fluff with sprinkles of angst and crack to balance out the bloody scenario of this fic

Nets: @blossomnet @mirohs-aurora-society

I'm tagging @frenchkisstheabyss since she's a new moot of mine and I love her work

You and Yunho were laughing your asses off in victory as you drove away from the arson and bloodshed that you guys laid upon the location where your mission took place.

Well... Yunho was. You were sitting in the driver's seat, anxiously getting back home.

Your knuckles were white due to the tight grip you had on the steering wheel. Your anxiety grew even more when Yunho carelessly threw random bills out from the black duffle bag he kept in his bloodied grasp. Once you arrived home, both of you exited the car and made your way to the front of the large mansion he holes himself up in.

"Come on! Don't dilly dally! We should celebrate while the night is young!"

"You can do that. I'll be in my room."

Yunho's smile faltered and he sighed deeply before nodding firmly and watching you go up the stairs to your room.

He should've listened to his friend about tagging you along.

You've been Yunho's right-hand man for three years. You have been the backbone of his small yet dangerous gang and the reason why he smiles every day. Despite the grim setting you were working in, you never complained once. So he wondered why tonight was different.

You never necessarily complained per say. You've practically been desensitized to everything that goes on in the gang. From gun polishing to beating up suspects in order to get answers.

Let's not forget about all the times where Yunho got so angry that he would randomly throw knives at anything. It would range from vases to even the windows of the many cars he owned.

All of that you could easily brush past.

But when he personally asked you to be the getaway driver for tonight's mission, you immediately wanted to say no. You didn't hate driving.

You hated the anxiety that came with it.

Being a getaway driver was serious shit and you felt you weren't confident enough to pull this job off.

Yunho never knew that though. Why? It was simple.

You were afraid of Yunho getting angry with you.

As Yunho scrubbed the dried blood off his hands under hot water, he thought back to his conversation with his best friend Mingi.

"I don't know, man. Y/N is tough, but there have been times where they aren't so confident." Mingi said to Yunho.

"Oh come on! Have more faith in them!" Yunho exclaimed, seemingly baffled by Mingi's concern.

"I do! It's just... you don't really know what goes on inside their head. You just drop commands and they blindly follow."

"So?! What's wrong with that?"

"Have you ever considered that maybe they're comfortable doing everything else except that?"

"If they were uncomfortable with it, they should've told me!"

"That's the thing, Yunho... they're afraid that you might lash out at them if they spoke up against it."

"But they know I would never be angry with them!"

"Do they... do they really?"

The conversation ended there. As Yunho was hunched over the sink, he was deep in thought. He groaned in frustration and felt guilt creeping up on him.

He needed to talk to you.

You were sitting on top of your bed, knees folded up against your chest as you stared into the void. You were so lost in your anxiety that you didn't notice Yunho barging in.

He had a habit of doing that.

However, instead of flopping down on your bed like he usually does, the giant puppy instead hovered over you and placed a hand in your hair, his fingers lightly massaging your scalp. You looked up and grew concerned when you saw the guilty expression on his face.

"Is something wrong, Yunho?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

The softness and slight cracks in his voice made your concern turn into worry. You sighed and patted the spot next to you. Yunho obliged and sat next to you before pulling you into a hug.

You were shocked to say the least.

In all of your time being by Yunho's side, you have never this kind of proximity with your boss. The most he did was just pat your shoulder or head. So to be enveloped in the arms of the most dangerous gangster was slightly foreign yet deep down, you knew you needed this. You slowly returned the hug and froze when you felt a tear drop down onto your shoulder.

Was Yunho... crying?

"Hey. Tell me what's wrong."

"I should've known..."

"Known what?"

"That you were uncomfortable with being the getaway driver!"

Oh

So he figured it out.

"Yunho, it's fine -"

"You will listen to me and not say it's fine! Because it's not!"

The sudden exclamation made you flinch but you nodded slowly and let him speak.

"Look. You are the only one I trust with everything. And I am so grateful for that. However, I should've realized that you also have limits. I just thrust you into that position without asking you if you were ok with it first and I... I just..."

He hiccupped and hung his head in shame while you sighed quietly.

"Yunho, listen. You know that I would do anything for you. Ever since you saved me from dying on the side of that road after I was abandoned, I've been in debt to you. To have your trust is like winning an award at life."

"But in return, you should trust me! Y/N..."

He grabbed your hands and rubbed your knuckles with his thumbs.

"Are you afraid of my anger if you spoke up for being uncomfortable?"

"I wouldn't put it past you -"

"You do realize that I would never hurt the person I trust most, right? We are partners! If you don't like a certain task, tell me and I will assign you something else. Please just tell me... I can't bear the thought of you being so uncomfortable with something yet you push past it just so you can please me."

He leaned in and kissed your forehead.

"Promise me you will do that?"

"Only if you promise me to never assign me as the getaway driver ever again."

"Deal."

Yunho's heart skipped a beat upon seeing the genuine smile on your face. He ruffled your hair and grabbed you so you could sit up and lay against him while he sat up against the headboard.

"So... want to tell me how that hook up went with Mingi?"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!"

"GIRL, YOU LOUD AS HELL!"

"I BLAME YOUR FRIEND!"

"FOR WHAT?! BEING SO FINE?!"

"Ok but like I never said that though."

"Mmm. Sure. Don't forget our little convo about how you found Mingi so attractive and sexy and that you'd do anything for him."

"Ok listen -"

Yunho simply laughed while you tried to poorly defend yourself.

This is what he wanted from you.

He wanted to ensure that you are comfortable, no matter what the situation is.

After all, gangsters do indeed have a heart.

[desertfangs]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

AAAAhh this is such a cool idea!! Thank you for the ask! I will be sending this around like a hot potato.

It's so hard for me to pick favorites because different fics mean different things to me but I'm just going to pick the ones that come to mind first.

Lace - Armand/Daniel - Explicit - 4,490 words To distract Daniel from yet another mortal birthday, Armand gets Daniel a pair of lace panties... and demands he wear them out to a bar. I think this is the smut fic I'm most proud of. I really went for it and I'm really happy with how it turned out. It's got crossdressing, sex in public, and weird Devil's Minion games.

Hey Pretty - Armand/Daniel - Explicit - 6,325 words

Speaking of smut, I wrote this for Kink Week last year. It's set not long after Armand and Daniel reunite in Prince Lestat when things are still awkward as heck between them and Daniel figures out a good to way to cut through that is to let Armand watch him feed on a mortal... and then take it back to the bedroom. It's a lot about the strangeness of reconnecting and growing pains of fraught relationships.

Five Times Daniel and Armand Almost Kissed During the Chase Years & One Time They Did - Armand/Daniel - Mature - 5,940

NGL I think this might be my favorite fic I've written. It's definitely the one I go back to read most often. It's just little vignettes of Armand and Daniel getting closer during the Chase Years and it makes me happy. Really proud of this one.

The City Never Sleeps - Lestat/Daniel - Mature - 13,024 words

This is the fic that absolutely took me the longest to write (though Look Right Through is gaining on it with edits). I agonized over every line of dialogue and Lestat is not always easy for me, but I love how this turned out. It's Daniel entertaining Lestat in NYC in the post-canon era while Armand is out of town, and it's a lot about his past with Armand and showing Lestat their lives, but also Daniel knows Lestat wants to connect with Armand on a deeper level and he's trying to help. Also Lestat is having angst about Louis. You know how it is! I really love this fic so it was worth the hair-pulling.

And gosh how do I pick a final one? -frets-

In the Blood - Armand/Daniel - Mature - 4875 words

On Night Island, Armand is fretting about Daniel now being a vampire, and a little healthy voyeurism helps. I think Daniel is a really gentle, sensual killer, which is on display here, but again it's the two of them trying to connect after Daniel's been turned and all of the stumbling blocks that come with it.

Oof that was tough! I will be sending this around to people's inboxes, hoping to see some awesome self-recs!

[our-trans-youth-experience]

I feel so hopeless.

I don’t think I can wait until im 18 to transition. I dont know if I can even stay alive that long. Hell I cant stand the thought of having this body for 5 more years. My mom recently told me that she wouldn’t bear to look at me anymore if I ever got an abortion or top surgery, which I know is wrong for her to believe, but it still hurts so much. I’m not even out to her yet and she’s still being transphobic towards me and honestly I didn’t think that was possible. I don’t feel like a real transgender because I can’t even decide on a name for myself. I don’t even look like a boy. The only thing I can do is bind. My transmasc friend can pass so much better than me, I feel like he gets misgendered so much less than I do, and I just think he’s so lucky. Is it wrong for me to think that? I don’t know but I’ve lost so much hope. I don’t know anything. And it just feels like no one else really gets it.

I don’t know if I can do this anymore.

I’m sorry for the heavy ask.

-Lib (maybe, still considering other names)

Hey kiddo,

I know it feels hopeless, and I've been there (and still am there sometimes ngl). Your mother doesn't sound like a very good one, if she won't support her child's decisions about what they do with their body. It's your body, so it's completely up to you what to do with it even if that means you lose your mother's support. I'd recommend you avoid coming out to your mother as I don't think it'd be a safe thing for you to do. It's hard, not being "properly" out, but it'll be worth it in the long run.

You are really trans, you aren't faking it. You're trans enough and I believe you. If you still look "like a girl", I believe you and am currently in the same situation. Some of my trans friends change their name every week, some have multiple names at once, it doesn't make them any less trans. You say you can bind, so hang onto that because that is awesome! (That being said please remember to do so as safely as possible even if you have really bad dysphoria)

Please try not to compare yourself to other trans people you know, it doesn't help. However, it isn't wrong for you to be doing that because we all compare ourselves, although we probably shouldn't. Transition is not linear and everyone's transition is different and at a different pace because everyone's situation is different. So if your transition is at a slower pace, that doesn't make you any less trans, your journey just has more turns and is a bit more complicated.

There is hope, and I know it's what everyone says but I promise it's true: it does get better. It's not going to happen overnight, but things will get easier.

You say that noone really understands, but I promise I do. I'm still a kid, with an abusive/unsupportive mother, who has a few years left until I'm an adult and will likely rely on my parents for a while longer. I haven't come out to any of my family and only some of my friends, and I still look as much like a girl as I did when I was 5 years old. I struggled for years and still do, although I think I'm recovering. There's a whole bunch more, but simply put I'm in a very similar situation to you, you're not alone I promise.

It's not hopeless, I love you and I am here for you, and I need you to stay, even though I know how tough it is. Please reach out to me whenever you need to, I would be happy to talk to you as a friend and both my messages and my inbox are always open, although I'll likely reply to messages more quickly and they won't be posted. You are so loved, and I am here for you, stay safe <3

-Sage (he/they) :)

[scyfozoa]

feed me more kouming content pls i wanna know more abt their dynamic and how they ivercome their struggles pweaseeee

thank yoy for this ask im Not normal about them um . Um . um . gonna just ramble. yapfest incoming

Kou and Gaming met when they were both 14 – a little bit after Gaming ran away, their first meeting was in the pharmacy as Gaming was being treated by Baizhu because he got injured while working (was younger and less experienced in combat back then), and Kou brought back some meds Baizhu asked for. They talked for a little bit, but didnt think much of it at first.

Sure, they both wanted to be friends, but they werent sure if that would work out. Gaming knew how loud and extroverted he was, and he could see Kou was more of a reserved type, barely talking at all. He was simply worried that he would scare Kou off. Kou, on the other hand, could see Gaming was liked, had a group of friends – and the half-adeptus simply didnt think someone like Gaming would want to be friends with someone like him – Kou was always anxious, scared to talk, ofter losing verbality in social situations.

But Gaming ended up at the pharmacy more and more, at first because of how reckless he was, sometimes for deliveries, but with time, he started showing up just for Kou – he didnt say it though, always conveniently "was nearby, so I figured id visit".

As they got closer and closer, they both realized that despite them being polar opposites, some parts of them were really similar.

(b4 next part starts, i hc gaming as autistic and trans ftm because i can..... plus it fits his story ngl look at rhe event!!!)

Complicated family dynamics, their struggles with being trans, them both being autistic and how that affects them, their sense of not belonging anywhere — are the things that connected them, to name a few. They understood each other better than anyone else, felt safer with each other than with anyone else — sometimes it felt like these two were speaking the same language, while the rest of the world talked in a language unfathomable to them. And as the years passed, and they got closer, it was on a Lantern Rite when they were 16, when they finally confessed to each other under the glowing lanterns in the sky – far away from everyone else, as Gaming knew how overwhelmed Kou got in such gigantic social events. It was after that, after their confession, that Kou promised him that when one day, Gaming finally gets to perform infront of everyone, being the center of the celebration, he will be cheering him on from right there, always being his biggest supporter.

And he kept that promise, watching his boyfriend of already 2 years, being the center of the celebration, blinking away the sting in his eyes, never having been so proud before.

They know each others struggles and always do the best to help – Kou always being Gamings no.1 supporter, even when Gaming felt like it was going nowhere. Gaming treating Kous scars like any other part of his body, and sometimes leaving a few kisses on them when Kou is having a really tough day.

Now, some more miscellaneous stuff. When Kou is free, he always comes with Gaming to just be with him while Gaming practices his Wushou Dance, dancing along while Man Chai jumps around him. He is his biggest supporter after all. Sitting on the sideline, Kou takes it as a great opportunity, and pulls out his favourite sketchbook. He cant be blamed, as Gaming's energetic and fluid motions make for great anatomy practice — and the sketchbook would be just that, if not for the numerous pages of random doodles of Gaming, of his face, his body, just him. Luckily, Kous reflexes allow him to hide the sketchbook the second Gaming finishes and turns to him — he would rather explode than let anyone near that sketchbook.

Kou has trouble sleeping through the night, so he often naps a few times throughout the day — in his room, on a tree, away from anyone. But when him and Gaming are together, Gaming often lets Kou nap on his lap or his shoulder. (gets paid back for it in kisses when Kou wakes up)

They both have sensory issues, but Kous are way more extreme — so when theyre out getting dim sum, Gaming always offers to pick out the parts that are inedible for him. (unless its something inedible for him too...)

thats all foe now.... sorey thats its lackluster + messy, its 2 am as im writing rhis bc i NEEDED to ramble... ill write somethign more comprehensive soon i prommy... (+ the fics are pretty comprehensive !!) if u want more of them feel free to ask or dm me... i love them so much theyre geniuely my everything .. have some koumings that i didnt post

[cuckoo-among-beasts]

Okay, ngl, things have been really tough for about a year and the last couple of months have seen a lot of family drama. I'm overwhelmed in every sense of the word. I do miss Huaisang and I don't plan on giving him up, nor any of my other muses, even if my HSR muses are my priority.

However, I think I'll have to drop all my Huaisang threads and start anew, just to remove some stress. I've never done this before in my life and I feel horrible about it.

I might keep a couple of threads, we'll see.

Anyway, I will do some thread housekeeping etc after new year. I'm going to my family in Sweden on Thursday and until then, I need to finish things as well as write as much as possible on a paper I have. If I don't fix things on this blog before January 17th, I will do so after that (paper deadline).

I'm really sorry for all this, but know that I do fully intend on doing this. I should've done it sooner, but I always fear people will hate me or exchange me if I drop stuff, which end up with me not doing anything instead, which makes the anxiety worse and so on.

Thanks for staying around. Me and Huaisang will be back next year. I will check in now and then though and I'm still on Discord, so I'm not fully gone.