#ngl idk if I really believe this

[doingpushupsindrag]

me rambling about my literature essay on homosexuality (and furthermore bisexuality) in Shakespeare’s ‘twelfth night’

In ‘Twelfth Night’, the themes of gender and sexuality are explored by Shakespeare, but never outright. I’m writing my essay on bisexuality and Orsino (to be specific) and how his internalised homophobia (as well as the externalised homophobia of the era) causes him to only pursue women.

Orsino starts the play desperately in ‘love’ with Olivia. He is completely devoted to her and goes to extreme lengths to woo her. Later, once Cesario is revealed to be a woman, he is overjoyed and can instantaneously move on from Olivia to Viola.

Possibly he is just desperate for a partner, but I find it much more believable that he is bi or pan- falling in love with (who he believes to be a) man.

It is mentioned in the play that Orsino and Cesario become close extremely fast- which may be a manifestation of the romantic feelings between them.

This would explain his eagerness to marry a person who he barely knew in their real gender- he was in love with Cesario but didn’t allow himself to express that (subconsciously or not) until it was Viola and socially acceptable.

I don’t think he ever loved Olivia- only forced himself to pursue her for the societal expectations on his shoulders. Gender didn’t matter to him when it came to attraction to Cesario/Viola, but it did when it came to what society’s perception of him would be

[skitskatdacat63]

Happy One Year Anniversary to Boy King AU!!!! 🎉

Okay wait before I start talking, look at these close ups and the process!! Aren't they so beautiful aaaahhhh

Wow, can you believe it’s really been a whole entire year since my very first post about this AU? Well technically I first started talking about the statuette a day earlier, but the very first sketch was exactly a year ago!! Let us not forget the incredibly prophetic tag on that post: “also in the sense of this au i think the only ship that would work(historically accurate wise) is Vettonso.” Who knew that after that my entire life would devolve into vettonso, this specific period of history, and the lovely combo which is Boy King AU. Also wow this means it’s taken me almost a whole entire year to actually draw a joint portrait of them hahaha. I drew this sketch around the beginning of the AU, but never finished it. It’s fine though because this one is a lot better, and I’m in love with it. Took me a year to draw a couple portrait, and took me almost a whole entire month to finish said piece. 

Okay let me explain this piece, which I am very obsessed with!!! I dragged the process out more than I usually would, but I’m glad, because it was so enjoyable. But also look at that fucking crown, no wonder this took almost a month. Usually I’d write like 50 paragraphs detailing the characterization. HOWEVER! I’ve spent over a month writing little bits of characterization, mostly for fun, but also in preparation for this very post. A lot of the earlier ones, I had this drawing in mind, thinking on how I could expand on the ideas I was drawing. Though there’s definitely some things I could still write about. I’ll probably continue to write more Lore a Days, but yeah, they basically amounted to this drawing where you can actually see the characterization I was talking about displayed. Anyways, here are the explanations of bits in the drawing:

First of all, this is some part of the long process of their wedding. Look at the married couple!! Look at their rings!!!

Okay, but why are there two, almost identical looking pieces?? Because look at their hands!! I talked a lot about how Fernando is the one to give out affection more easily, especially in public, where he knows he can easily fluster Seb. He’s acting all grumpy and out of it, I mean to be fair, it’s probably been such a long ceremony across weeks. But he notices Seb is out of it too, just better at keeping his smile (let’s be honest, even if he’s distracted, he’s super smug.) So Fernando catches him off guard by squeezing his hand. Before that, as you can see, Fernando is just resting his hand on Seb’s outstretched palm, like that one scene from Succession. Very: yes I’m getting married, but I’m not happy about it. The combination of Fernando refusing to even touch him more than lightly beforehand but now going full force, them being in public, and Seb already being distracted catches Seb so off guard he has to try to cover his blush with his fan. He thought Fernando was being super impolite, but now he’s the impolite one!! Getting all blushy and giggly over a simple display of affection, perhaps even ha-

So. Their crowns. Seb’s wearing the crown of Austria, because he is in fact only a king still! Also, because I really wanted to try drawing it after I wimped out of it before in this drawing. Fernando’s a king as well by the point, but the fact he’s wearing only a tiara-like hairpiece is to represent how much of an outsider he still is. At this moment, he’s just Seb’s wi- ,I mean husband, to all these guests. Of course this bitch wears a black veil instead of a white one, to signal that he’s mourning the loss of his autonomy and personhood. Don’t worry too much about his mental state though, considering he’s not depressed enough to be able to resist teasing Seb. 

The fan, oh my god. Back in this era, people would gift/make fans for basically any occasion. To symbolize an event, to celebrate something, to show a story, etc etc. I wish I could have drawn something more narrative, but I think the bull vs. horse is good enough. Also you can see those same symbols on the pendants they’re wearing!! I’m so happy when I can fit irl, modern stuff like that into these drawings, it feels so clever!!

It’s so funny, I wrote a lore a day from a prompt about what they’d be like when doing a joint portrait, while I was already almost through painting a dual portrait of my own! So I got to explain some stuff like their clothing colors and poses before I even posted this. I feel very coy about that still honestly. 

Hmmm what else? It feels so weird to not expand on the characterization, considering I already did it for myself weeks in advance. I can’t imagine what it’s like opening this read more, and seeing more than 10 in-text citations. Happy reading!!!

 Happy anniversary to  this wonderful, crazy AU that makes me download 500pg German papers about 18th century etiquette. I drew a couple pieces of fanart before this AU, but I definitely think it jumpstarted my insanity about drawing/making AUs, and literally is what made me insane about Vettonso in the first place. Remember, if I hadn’t learned about Joseph I/Charles VI, most of my blog probably wouldn’t exist in it's current form. Thank you if you’ve stuck around since the beginning, or if you’re even just learning about it now!! It’s so incredibly niche but I’ve had so much fun researching and building this world and these characterizations, and I hope you’ve enjoyed what I’ve made in the process. I hope I can draw/write many more things in the future. I think next, I’m gonna maybe open up requests. I’d like to try to either write ficlets or draw chibi comics about specific Lore a Day posts on request. I think that’d be a lot of fun, but also will probably kill me. We’ll see!! Anyways. PPlease enjoy this absolute labor of love, which is a result of a year’s worth of work.

[triglycercule]

"killer. what is this supposed to be?"

"oh, i commissioned one of my fans to draw art of us! isn't it totally cute??"

"well, it's definitely... something."

"... no, it's cute. but how'd you pay for it? last i heard, your balance was..."

"..."

💜/💙/❤️

[deus-ex-mona]

favourite stupid relationship dynamic: idiots who would immediately protect and defend the other but never themself

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

[idk-i-want-mcl-content]

Me rn:

(not mine)

[honeyvenommusic]

❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Raven Stratagem + Revenant Gun

books 2 & 3 in a military-political sci-fi trilogy

space empire setting where reality & technology relies on an enforced cultural belief and calendar system

the ghost general taken over Cheris’ body and gone rogue, the rest of the hexarcate is trying to assassinate them while they try to change the oppressive systems of the hexarchate

I don’t know how else to explain things in here without spoilers (if I even could explain..)

[bacchuschucklefuck]

would you like to elaborate on any gender analysis or headcanons for the bad kids?

I love th way this is worded. what if I wouldn't like to where would we be

[killjoy-prince]

I FINALLY GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!

[georgieluz]

holy fuck you guys i just realised who hoosier is

he's that one hot sniper dude from that cowboy law enforcement show that i haven't watched a single episode of but somehow have a playlist full of edits and clips saved simply bc of that fine ass dude with a gun and the one liners and it's fucking hoosier

[thou-babbling-brook]

can’t believe I’m proposing a fandom study for a fellowship grant for graduate school 🧍🏻‍♀️dream job type shit lmfao

[kiisuuumii]

some thoughts on (my) self concept

its not a secret that ive lately felt not in control of my emotions. its not even a secret to those who've followed me since my days on my old blog, that im very vocal about whatever it is that im struggling with, to the point of vague oversharing.

being back on tumblr, having an outlet where people will see, and choose to interact however they see fit, has maybe exacerbated it a little, but ive always felt at the mercy of my emotions.

the highs are high, and the lows are low, as they say.

ive sought out professional treatment, both therapy and psychiatric means, for it, because id always thought that it was an issue of discipline, or lack of—something that, so long as i caught myself and worked on it, it would eventually not be a problem anymore. and while to a certain extent that could be true, i think in my case, thats just how i am:

i am easily excitable, i am easily saddened. and i love easily. and i grieve easily. and i stay that way, easily.

for so long, i have berated myself, disparaged myself, torn myself apart, for the idea that i always, and have continued to, let myself be so easily swept into my emotions. ive only ever wanted to distance myself from this part of me, having come to believe that all ive been is a burden on the people i love, and who love and have loved me, because of it.

i think in doing so, ive been trying to live as a "me" that i thought really was me. but i was living rather as someone incomplete. i'd abandoned—and i've always abandoned—a part of me that wanted nothing more to be held. not just witnessed, not just seen, not just reassured that i was too much or not enough. just, held.

ive admittedly not made the best decisions in the past in my subconcious effort to find someone who would be more than willing—glad even—to hold this part of me. and i think my constant fighting with myself because of it had only made me seek to fill a hole in me from, well, a lack of understanding from a lot of different places while growing up.

thats all to say that i hurt a lot of people in the name of trying to believe that i wasnt too much. if someone else could love me as i am, then surely i could too.

and thats not too far off from the way i think now, but what's changed now is that, yes, i am a lot. maybe even too much. but having come to terms with that, seeing a little bit of how beautiful feeling too much can be, i think i can at least stop beating myself up for the things ive done. i think its enough.

i think, actually, my immense capacity to feel is what makes me, me.

[princekirijo]

One of the neat things about playing Royal again is that it's really helping me flesh out Captain and give me a fresh perspective on the whole thing

[maitanii]

the night before i started university i was crying

and tonight, the night before finishing university,

im also crying

[widevibratobitch]

its 'i know it doesnt matter and im used to it at this point but im actually a little sad that im kinda ugly' hours