#ngl I was kind of floored by the enthusiasm

[sepetajmikolikomehoces]

Just wanted to say thanks for all the wonderful reblogs and tags for the JO x fabrics moodboard series! I had a blast planning them out and finding suitable pics to go with each of them. I'll def do more of these types of series if I stumble across a suitable theme.

[loousir]

[Gorgon] Some Secrets Should be Said

Gorgon Male x Unaware/Oblivious Male Reader

Eros

Warnings: Tiniest ammout of homophobia/racisim, smoochin in a supply closet, YOU MAY BE IN HIGHSCHOOL BUT YOU ARE 18

Masterlist

---------------------------------------------

It was an early Monday morning. The usual early birds were arriving at school, you being one of them. Rumor was going around of a new student getting enrolled. There were only three high schools in this small town; One for monsters, one for humans, and one for both. You were enrolled in the one that shared with monsters. The overall relations in the school were good, other than the typical high school antics.

You had just been dropped off by your sibling and we're walking into the building. A few people smiled your way and you smiled back, heading to your first hour. The teacher was a Satyr and she was a bubbly as ever, happy to see you in the morning. "Good morning (Y/n), we have a new student coming today." Your ears perked up and you looked over to her.

"Ah, we do? So the rumor was true after all?" She laughed and said, "Yes! He's gonna make a bit of history here." You became confused at her statement as you walked over to your seat. "What do you mean by that?" You asked setting your bag on the table. "I might get in a bit of trouble for telling but..." She walked over, her hooves clacking on the floor as she did. She leaned in on the table, "He will be the first Gorgon to be enrolled into the school!"

She seemed overly excited about the new student but you smiled at her enthusiasm. "You seem awfully happy about that. Is he in our class?" You asked, sitting down in your chair. Her smiled seemed to get wider as she nodded. You paused for a moment and leaned back. "Does that mean he's gonna sit by me?" She nods again. "Yep! You are the only one without a table partner. I'm sure you'll be fine. He's a nice kid." She ruffeled your hair and you swatted her hands away. "Auntie, you know I'm taken right?" She isn't your biological aunt but she's very close with your mom so you call her it for fun.

She laughed and walked away saying, "He's a cute one." You sighed and rolled your eyes as you pulled out your phone. You opened Snapchat and sent a message to your boyfriend.

You took a cute selfie, looking down at the phone while your forehead rested on the table.

Aunties super excited about our new student.

Ngl, I kinda am too. She said he was a Gorgon and I think she's onto my facination with cute snakes xx

You sent the snap and put your phone face down on the table before resting your face on your bag. A minute or so passed before you got a message back.

It was a black screen but he usually sent one. Admittedly, you have never seen him but you respected that since you fell in love with his personality, which was charming as ever.

Don't go cheating on me now ;)

I might just have to show you I'm cuter xx

You smiled and took another selfie.

So that means I get to see you then??? Game on babe xx

You smiled as you sent it. Yeah, it was cheesy flirting but it made you happy none the less. A few seconds later he messaged back with another black screen.

Hmm, I just might lol

You sent that you love him too and put your phone in your pocket. Smiling slightly as you looked up to see that some other students were starting to show up. Soon enough, the first bell for class to start rings and students filter in, taking their seats. Five minutes later, you still haven't seen a certain Gorgon as the final bell rings, saying anyone who wasn't there was late.

Gotta get to class, message you when I can

Love you xx

Mrs. Hucksburry stood at the front of the class, writing some last minute things on the board. "Alright class," Most of the students quiet down at her words. "As you may have heard, we have a new student today! I want you to treat him with respect as he is one of us," She said referring to her fellow monsters. "He is the first of his kind to be enrolled into our schools system." Right as she finished speaking, the door opened to show a rather handsome face and a the obvious 'hair' that came in the shape of several small, darkly colored snakes that seemed to form some sort of style.

He wore rather nice and stylish clothes, very 90's -esk. Mrs. Hucksburry smiled more and looked over to him. "Good morning Mr. Lamollot, glad to see you made your way here." He smiles a cute and almost shy smile, making a pair of girls in class giggle. You watched and tuned out what they were saying before seeing he was looking at you.

You waved to him as he walked over to your table. "I'm guessing you're (Y/n)?" You smiled and nodded, "That'd be me." You put your bag on the floor next to the table and he quietly sat down next to you. "I'm Eros by the way." He was quiet when he spoke as class had officially started. You pulled out a notebook with a pen/pencil and made a message page.

You have the same name as my boyfriend!

You tore the paper out and slid it over to him while he was getting his own notebook and pen. Notes were handwritten on the board since the projector broke and hadn't been replaced yet but no one seemed to mind. The paper was slid back over to you.

Really? What are the chances of that?

His hand writing was nice for a boy and you looked out of the corner of your eye to see him smiling. You smiled too and wrote back.

Who knows but I think it's cool

You slid the paper back and he took a minute to slide it back but you patiently waited since you would have done the same. He didn't write anything on it.

You seem pretty chill Eros, wanna hang out at lunch? Also can I see your schedule? • 3 •

The paper was passed back for the fifth time during class and all it said was his schedule along with a "Sure!" underneath. You told him that the two of you share the same schedule. WhAt A cOiNcIdEnCe.

You looked over to him to see him looking at the paper. He looked up to you and you smiled. Eros smiled back and took the paper to ask.

Do you have early release too?

You read it as he wrote and he looked up to you. You nodded and he wrote again.

Wanna go chill at the park?

You shrugged and nodded again when he looked up to you. He smiled and nodded as the two of you went back to working on class work. You hadn't noticed it before but, his snakes seemed to be interested in you, which you thought was cute.

--- Skip to Break ---

An hour and a half had passed and the two of you had talked a bit throughout the time. The bell for break just rang and you got up with Eros. The two of you walked out to the hallway. "Let me make a stop by my locker real quick then we can go to next hour and chill there for break." He nodded and leaned against the locker next to you when two girls walked up to him. They were the same pair from first hour.

"Hey Eros, wanna hang with us at lunch?" The "leader" asked, standing in front of him. "Yeah that'd be like, totally cool if you did." Her buddy said, standing next to him. "Oh, sorry, me and (Y/n) al-" She cut him off with a scoff. "Oh you mean halfie? That kids got an imaginary boyfriend. How about you just ditch him and come eat with us." Eros looked over to you to see you had tensed and slowed your movements.

The girls focus turned on you, making you bite your lip. "Do you think you could not ruin this guy? He's like, super hot and doesn't need to be tainted by you." You looked away and felt a vibration come from your phone. You took the chance and opened it to see a message from your boyfriend. She smirked, "Did your 'boyfriend' text you? What'd he say?" She asked in a taunting tone.

You ignored her and opened the message. It was a new picture of the "super hot" guy standing next to you looking down to his phone.

Wanna dip babe?

These bitches are annoying the fuck outta me lol

The three of you looked up to him surprised as you closed your locker. He awkwardly smiled and said, "Guess I had to ruin that surprise cause some bimbos wanna fuck a gay guy." He laughed and walked over to you, grabbing your hand. You were speechless.

How did I not connect the dots earlier? Am I really that dense?

"It's a shame too. I was considering being friends, until you insulted my boyfriend, that is." He locked your fingers and looked back at the two. "Go suck a dildo, whore." Eros flipped them off and walked off with you around the corner, looking for a private spot. "Anywhere there won't be eavesdroppers?" He asked quietly. You nodded and lead him to a back room.

You opened the door with the key you had and let you go in first. The room was pretty nice considering it was useless. You turned on the light at set your bag down, Eros doing the same. "Are you really my boyfriend?" You asked stepping closer to him. He blushed and nodded, "I... I think so... I kind of ruined the supr-mm!" His eyes widened as you connected your lips to his. You pulled away and were about to speak when he connected them again, pressing his body into yours slightly.

He pulled away and you smiled, a blush was covering your face. "I've wanted to do that for so long." You said looking up to him slightly. "Me too." He said, hugging you close. "Why did you lie to me about being human?" You asked, resting your face on his chest. "I was... Scared of how you'd react if I told you the truth." You pulled away and looked up to him. "Are you kidding? Look what I was missing out on!" You said, making gestures to him.

Eros smiled and laughed. "I have a question for you though," You tilted your head slightly. "Why did they call you halfie?" You looked away and brushed back the hair around your ears. The tips of them were pointed much like an elf's but not as long. "My dads an elf. They like to use it as an insult since they're full and I'm not..."

Eros smiled again and nuzzled his nose to the crook of your neck. His snakes were gently booping their noses against your cheek as if giving you small kisses. You giggled at the sensation and he hummed to ask what was so funny. "Your snakes are cute." You said gently intertwining your fingers with them. He gently kissed your neck and rubbed your sides. "Well, they love you just as much as I love you." He said closing his eyes and hugging you.

You smiled and removed your hand to cup his cheek and make him look at you. His golden eyes were half lidded as he did. "Well," You said almost mocking him in away. "I love you and your snakes too." His eyes closed as he leaned in and yours did the same, both of your lips connecting again.

Eros pressed himself into you as both of you kissed. You pulled away first for air and he kissed your cheek and jaw lightly. You checked your phone when he pulled away he asked. "I'm curious how you got a key to a janitors closet." You leaned up to him and kissed his cheek. "My biological uncles the principal and he gave me the room to chill if I need to. It's usually where I would hang out for lunch but I dont really need to anymore since early release and all."

He "ooh'd" and nodded. "Makes sense. Wish I had a place like this at my old school." He looked back at you and his eyes went to your hair while you were checking something on your phone. Eros almost hesitantly brushed his fingers through your (h/c) hair. You jumped slightly at the sudden touch but enjoyed it none the less. "We have 4 minutes by the way." You said closing your eyes and leaning into his hand.

"Your hair is really nice. It's so soft." He smiled when you did and he gently kissed your nose while removing his hand from your hair. You tried your best to make it look like how it did before. "Sorry." He said gently with a small laugh. "Don't be, let's head to next hour so we can get this day done with and hang out." He nodded at your words and you grabbed his hand as the two of you grabbed your bags and quietly made it to the class you're meant to be in.

--- Skip to End of Day ---

The last two hours of school they had went by pretty quickly. The bell for lunch and early release seniors rang, making most people rush to leave or go to lunch. You and Eros lagged behind, waiting for the halls to clear a bit. He gently grabbed your hand as you finished putting your bag on. "Do you wanna go to the park or my house? I have a car so it doesn't matter too much on which you pick." He said with a small laugh.

You blushed and shrugged, "I would probably like your house since it's kinda cold out right now..." The two of you walked out of the class, hand in hand. The pair of girls from earlier watched with hatred/jealousy as the two of them walked out together. They were all going the same way so they got to see Eros walk you to his 1969 Blue Camaro.

Eros unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for you to get in to which you gladly accepted. You set your bag down by your feet and buckled as he set his bag in the back and got in. "I hope my dad isn't home." He said closing his door and starting the car. "Why do you say that?" You asked as he buckled his seat belt.

He sighed and leaned back on his seat. "He doesn't actually know we're... Y'know, dating. Or if he does he has no clue you're a guy..." You nodded and looked to him while he backed out from the parking lot. "We can still go to the park. I'll survive I'm sure." You said softly. "Plus I kinda wanna wear your jacket..." You mumbled the last part while looking away but he heard and smiled, acting as if he didn't hear.

"There's one close to my house we can go to. It's pretty cool if you wanna go there." Eros said while stopping at a light. "That sounds good." He smiled again and looked over to you before looking back at the light. Seeing it change to green, he stepped on the gas again and headed to the destination.

---

The ride was comfortably quiet other than the occasional comment about something in the passing scenery. "Ok, we're here." Eros said, parking his car in the relatively empty parking lot. "I've never seen this place before. It's really pretty." You said as the two of you stepped out.

"Yeah. It's pretty quiet here. I usually hang out here after school. I have never been home "on time" since I got a car 3-ish years ago." You smiled and held his hand as he locked the car and put the keys away. "I'll take you to my favorite spot. There's all kinds of secret areas thanks to the trees." He said with a slight child like glee. You giggled like the school boy that you are as he dragged you along through a beautiful walkway that was shaded by the trees. "Gods it's so pretty here." You said under your breath.

You walked for what felt like forever before he shifted to stand behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist. He removed his hand to show one of the few non blank pictures he sent. "Oh wow." The winter sun was shining over the neighboring town, giving a good idea of just how small it was. "We have a cliff?" You asked suddenly, making Eros laugh and hug you close to his body.

Eros smiled as he took a turn off the path and up a small hill. He stopped and gently let go of your hand, covering your eyes. You reached up to remove his hand but he stopped you. "W-what are you doing Eros?" He giggled and started walking, making you grab onto him afraid of running into something. "Eros?!"

"Don't worry babe. I promise it's nothing bad. I know you'll like it."

"Kinda crazy right?" He said before resting his chin on your shoulder. You nodded as his snakes gently booped you're temple and cheek again, making you smile. You reached up and gently placed a hand on Eros' cheek, rubbing your thumb against his jawline. "Wanna sit down? I have two and a half hours before I have to be home." You nodded again and he pulled away, leading you over to a fairly large tree.

He took off his jacket and tossed it up onto a branch before jumping into the tree himself. You were surprised before he reached down to help you up. "C'mon, it'll give us some privacy just incase anyone comes over here." You somewhat hesitantly took his hand and he helped pull you up onto the thick tree branch. He leaned back against the trees core, letting his legs hang down and inviting you to do the same against him.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence again while he hugged you close, resting his head against your shoulder. "I love you. A lot." He mumbled softly into your ear. You smiled and held onto the top of his hand that was holding onto your stomach. "I love you a lot too." You mumbled back. "Oh and, do you wanna wear my jacket now? I noticed you were shivering ever since we started walking."

You blushed and looked down to the tree branch and ground below it. "I didn't think you heard me say that..." He giggled and leaned forward a bit, grabbing the jacket off the branch it was hooked on to. You moved forward and he helped you put the slightly bigger jacket on. You snuggled into the lingering warmth, taking in his soft cologne.

"Your jacket smells good babe." Eros chuckles and pulls you against his chest again. "Well, it's got my favorite cologne on it so if course it smells good." You smile and let your head fall back against his shoulder and he kissed your temple.

"So. Do you wanna explain yourself a bit?"

-----

3261

Minimal spell/grammar checking, also set up for a part 2?

[magpiefngrl]

Happy 10th HP anniversary, LQT!

This month my darling friend, @lqtraintracks, celebrates ten years in the HP fandom.

Ten years omg! 🎊🎊🎊🎊

Ten years of passion and enthusiasm and love for drarry and the HP world; ten years of spreading joy to other fans; ten years of astounding writing (gods, I envy her so!); ten years of invaluable contributions to the community.

Lqt, the fandom is blessed to have you as a member and I feel honoured to call myself your friend. I thank my lucky stars I joined drarry when I did and got to meet you 💖

Here's a few things you should know about Lqt:

1. She's a phenomenal writer. No, I don't use this word lightly. If you haven't yet sampled her work, you're missing out. If I were you, I'd rectify this asap. Lqt's craft is a masterclass of its own: strong sentences, beautiful prose, thoughtful characterisations, scorching sex scenes, lots and lots of feels. Her writing sizzles. She's so quotable too. I can't think of another writer who has such a strong gift to write lines that the whole fandom imprints on and can remember years later. For instance: "I've fucked you in that shirt." I'm still losing my fkn mind over this line. Mention Blood and Fire, one of Lqt's masterpieces, to a reader and they'll immediately go "omg I've fucked you in that shirt!!!!!!"

2. She's a supporter of queer and trans rights in true Gryffindor spirit. Passionate and tireless, Lqt actively tries to make fandom a more inclusive, safe and welcoming space for everyone. She's an example to emulate.

3. She's a fierce, generous friend. I don't know what I've done to deserve her, but her generosity and kindness and support seem never ending. She's been there for me, esp during a tough period last year, and has listened to me vent when I felt like getting things off my chest; she's given me advice when I asked for it; and has been a relentless cheerleader when I needed a boost. She's the kind of friend who reads my fics even when they're in fandoms she's not familiar with. She might know nothing about wangxian but she will read my fics and she will comment with some lovely praise, and--I don't know if I ever told you, @lqtraintracks, but that floors me every single time. That you read and comment on my wangxian/hualian/non-HP fics. I'm a bit choked up about it, ngl

Right. *wipes tears* Recs!

My first LQT fic was Entropy to Ecstasy (drarry/ 4k/ E), a stellar example of second person POV and, er, rimming. Is this the most delicious combination or what? The longing in this fic is tangible; the UST through the roof. I adored it and still do; what a marvellous introduction to a great writer.

My latest LQT fic was Heart Like Neon (drarry/ 41k/ E) and it was one of the highlights of 2021. It's got enemies to lovers and hate sex and UST to-die-for but also excellent new magic (the Reaching! how amazing and such a Harry magic!), a large cast handled deftly, and a fantastic relationship progression. And again: so many wonderful quotes! "Being good… it’s not just one choice. It’s a thousand different choices. And that’s just one day." How do you do it, LQT????

But the fic that has carved itself in my heart is Blood and Fire (drarry/ 45k/ E). (The banner above is a realistic depiction of the state of my mind and body while reading the fic.) It's a story of second chances; of regret and mistakes; of making amends; of forgiveness. It's got agonising pining and excruciating longing; palpable tension and hot hot hot hot sex. It includes the most emotional hug of all times. It's a fic that makes me feel like "a bundle of kindling who invited fire over for dinner". (see what I told you about the quotes? She's fkn killing it!) It's a drarry classic (yes, I went there) and it's a fic that I will never, ever forget. For me, this story is up there with Donna Tartt and CS Pacat.

LQT, happy anniversary!!! May you enjoy another 10, 20, or more years in fandom! I'm so happy to know you 💖

[silverkoushi]

haikyuu!! headcanons

⇢ scenario: how you’d spend the holidays with them!! pt.2 | read pt. 1 here! ⇢ feat. : tsukki (karasuno), bokuto (fukurodani) & kuroo (nekoma) x gn!reader ⇢  wc & warnings:  3.3k, slightly suggestive for kuroo

ʕ·��·ʔ not @ me having the phattest crush on kuroo as you can probably tell here... dear god that man is something edit: omo for some reason the paragraphs got messed up n i just checked it after hours of posting... i fixed it now so hopefully it makes more sense ahh my apologies!! ><

tsukishima kei

୨୧ ˻˳˯ₑ*॰¨̮  idk about you but i think tsukki secretly enjoys the holidays? like he’d think the music is overbearing, the movies are disgustingly cliche, and the amount of people gathering in places is one of his worst nightmares— those aren’t the things that he looks forward to. i think tsukki loves winter, maybe because i see him as a softie who collects sweaters, hoodies, and sweatpants that keep him comfy and cozy during cold nights and chilly mornings! WITH THAT BEING SAID, tsukki dies inside when he sees you wearing any of those following outfits of his. he might get annoyed at first that you don’t ask because he was planning on wearing them that day, but when you show up at his dorm clad in his night blue sweater with a little moon stitched on the side, there are no words coming out of his mouth. he will try to look menacing, eyes in a deadpan expression but you know he’s lying, and just stare at him with a doe-like face and put his hands in yours, swinging it back and forth as you drag him out of his room and into the snowy field. you don’t even think twice about getting matching sweaters because the boy will hate you for the rest of his life, but at least you got him to wear a reindeer headband for 2 seconds in the photobooth!! most of the time, you basically just bring him to anywhere you want to go. you guys look at the humongous christmas tree they placed in the center of the plaza, and you ask someone walking by if you can get a picture of the two of you in front of him. this way, tsukki can’t complain and will be semi-forced to pose with you hehe. you thought he’d just be standing there, arms to his side with a nonchalant expression but you actually feel him put his arm around your waist and lean his head down on top of yours. 

you can’t help the cheeky smile show on your face as you tiptoe just enough to reach his cheek, and once the guy said, “ok one more!” you steal a kiss on the side of tsukki’s small smile. “hey, what was—” “thanks, mister!! happy holidays!!” you avoid his stare, and get your phone back from the guy as you scroll through the pics he took (thank god only a few were blurry). tsukki keeps glaring at you, and you understand he’s not big into pda but uh, he started it with holding you close to him like that >:( “what?? you look so cute here, though!!” you whine to him, hoping he doesn’t ask that you delete it :( tsukki gives it a once over, a warm feeling creeping on his cheeks as he studies the picture: damn, is he whipped for you. he dismisses the overreaction on his part (for once), and takes your hand in his once more, asking where it is you wanted to go next. you’re surprised he left it like that, but you’re taking advantage of this situation and drag him to more festive stuff around the plaza <3

with your parents spending the holidays abroad and working overtime, tsukki’s mom invited you to their place instead and you’re!! more than happy and oh so grateful!! tsukki doesn’t show it but he’s actually extremely nervous,, what if you don’t like his family?? what if his brother is too annoying for you, what if this isn’t the kind of in-laws you were expecting— wait, he’s thinking too far ahead and you’re looking at him with raised eyebrows. quick! he turns away from your gaze, biting his lip at getting caught with his overthinking. “tsukki, you okay?” you ask gently, looping your arm around his as you guys near his house. “yeah…” he responds lamely, and you’re not sure if he wanted you at his house for the holidays or what… but you shake the negativity away and tell yourself that this is an opportunity to show your own personality to his family!! you’re greeted by a boisterous even taller guy at the door, and his also really tall mom waving at you from the kitchen, finishing up the grand dinner. “mom and i thought you were just pretending about your relationship, tsukki~” akiteru nudges him, and you chuckle at your boyfriend’s helpless look on his face, as if telling you this is what i dealt with during my childhood. but the holiday celebration with his family went super smooth!! his mom cooked amazing homemade dishes, and tsukki was actually smiling and laughing along the poor jokes akiteru made, it was so endearing to watch. you asked to help with the clean up as tsukki and his brother play volleyball outside in the cold. 

“i’m so glad he has you,” his mom comforts you, and you nod your head in thanks while you wipe the plates clean. “i’ve never seen him so… cheerful like this, you know?” what a heartwarming thing to say :(( and yet you thought he was just finally letting loose because he’s at home!! his mom turns in early that eve of christmas, and his brother goes out to have a nightly beer sesh with his hometown friends before christmas morning tomorrow. you and tsukki are left alone in his room as you marvel at the many dinosaur related merch, posters, and even stuffies he has in his childhood room!! “don’t say it,” he threatens you lightly, even though you’ve been well-aware of his fascination for the species. a little tired from the trip earlier and ngl you’re both full from the food, you lay down on the floor, pillows supporting your sleepy heads as tsukki shares the other side of his earphones. you listen to calming, lofi music for the night and at some point, he finds your fingers in his again. “thank you for having me, tsukki,” you whisper with a yawn, remembering the night days ago where you cried into his shoulder about missing your own family during this season. tsukki doesn’t respond as he hears your light snoring, and instead turns his body towards you as he caresses the side of your face, smiling at the beauty before him. “you’re always welcome here, dummy. you’ll always have me.”

bokuto koutarou

୨୧ ˻˳˯ₑ*॰¨̮  oof!! so many holiday parties!! gift giving exchanges!! dancing and singing, drinking and having the time of your lives! of course, bokuto asks first and foremost if you’re okay going to all of these celebrations with him as he has gathered a lot of friends from different majors, clubs, and such. you didn’t expect to come with him to all of them, tbh, but since he seems so excited to bring you along you found yourself nodding along! OOPS, what a wild ride it was to meet friends you didn’t even know he had. first, bokuto asked you to help him find some gifts for the exchange parties and you comply— you love thinking up presents for diff kinds of people! “would akaashi want this?” he points at a set of compression socks for sports “you’d want that more, bo” “oh oh!! how about this for kuroo?!” he leads you to the beauty section, hairspray littering the aisle “i think that’s more of an insult than a gift…” he’ll pout at his failure to think of the best gifts for his friends, but you cling to him with your linked arms and tell him not to worry— you kinda figured the kind of people his best friends are, so you suggest things off the bat: film roll for akaashi the photography minor, a mug with a pun-ny chem joke for kuroo, and a new case for kenma’s switch lite!! “wah! you know them better than i do,” he exclaims, eyes shining in excitement as you bring the gifts and other extra stuff to his apartment to help him wrap them. with this, bokuto came up with an idea to wrap the presents in the most creative way possible, and you just stare at him in awe as he tries to disguise the mug as.. a gingerbread man?? you don’t even know how he did it! as you tape up the finishing touches with the others, you eye a small gift wrapped box on the island counter along with a card next to it, all glittery and a name scribbled on top that you can’t make out where you were seated. 

“hey, bo, who’s that for?” you point at the suspecting box, and almost immediately bokuto body slams you on the ground, obstructing your view of the gift. “bokuto i can’t breathe—” you wheeze, laughing at the way he scrambles to get up from the position but his feet slips against the unused wrapping paper on the floor. “sorry, sorry i just— STOP LOOKING” he pleads, caging you with his arms either side your figure. the both of you pause, realizing the predicament you’re in until bokuto unleashes a sly smirk, eyes pointed at you with a mischievous glint. you know that look, so you start wiggling out of his way until he plops down on you again (mind you, he’s MANY inches taller than you and his built...whew, but that’s part of the problem right now!!) and blows raspberries on your neck, the audacity!! “tell me,” he whispers against your ear after a while, voice suddenly low in tone and your senses perk up. “have you been naughty or nice recently?” he continues hoarsely, and it doesn’t take long until you burst out laughing at his attempt of being flirty right now. he finally releases you, feigns hurt from your reaction but he knows what a goofball he is.

anyway, you put all the gifts in the car and head to the many parties he was invited to!! and honestly, you enjoyed yourself albeit it got really tiring to show up with much enthusiasm compared to the last. but bokuto on the other hand never runs out of energy for some reason!! he’s still winning the games, singing his heart out with his friends, and trying all the foods in the potluck, even shamelessly!! feeding you too! it’s embarrassing >< but in a way your heart swells with the thought of bokuto being very openly proud of his relationship with you, and how his friends seem to like you as well! pictures were taken, holiday spirits and gifts were exchanged and finally, he’s free for the night <3 you’ve been waiting for the right moment to give him your personal gift to your boyf (it’s an edited picture of the two of you at one of his winning games!! you can’t draw for sht but you are the best at adding lil stickers and cute petnames all around the photo hehe) you had it inserted in a picture frame too so the gift was relatively medium sized and rectangular. when you crash at his place, you ready yourself to give it to him, having second thoughts with how corny it must seem like… as you psych yourself up on the couch, you feel his arms suddenly wrap themselves around you as he starts peppering your neck with lazy kisses. your chest tightens, eyes closed at the warmth of his lips on your skin but— you can’t get distracted!! “bo, i have something for you—” “i saved the best gift for last—” o, you say it at the same time and so you look at each other with blank stares, and then laugh at your awkwardness!! 

he lets you go first, your nerves slowly dissipating at the excited gleam in his irises, he’s so cute!! as he unwraps it, he hitches a breath, looks at you then the picture and you again and— let’s say your face was just full on bokuto territory only ;-) as much as you were enjoying his attention all on you, his gift wasn’t opened yet!! bokuto went from confident to shy mode again, hiding his face with only one eye peeking out to watch you…. for some reason, since it was a tiny box you blurted out, “don’t tell me it’s a ring, bo.” as a joke but bokuto suddenly freezes at your words. and you had to stop unboxing to make sure he doesn’t go all pale on you, but also??? was he really???? GOING TO???-- “DID YOU WANT ME TO GET YOU A RING?? I CAN RETURN THE EARRINGS TODAY, I THINK I STILL HAVE THE RECEIPT—” “bo, it’s okay!!! omg no T_T” you take his hands off his face to look at him lovingly, a kiss on his pouty lips as you reassure him his presence is all that you can ever want, but whatever it was he gave you, you’ll cherish just the same!! so finally, once you take the lid off the box you see an adorable pair of owl earrings!! it’s so cute and it reminds you of him and thats probably why he got that for you :’)))) “i also wrote you a letter but please read it when i’m asleep or something…” aww shy bokuto!! >< you never thought you’d see the day :’)

kuroo tetsurou

୨୧ ˻˳˯ₑ*॰¨̮  man.. i just know this guy wouldn’t want to let leave… the bed… with him… on christmas day. imagine something like having to stay until he can for his duties at work which ended up til late christmas eve :( you were looking forward to spending time with him back at his hometown since you don’t necessarily celebrate the specific holiday, but being with tetsurou for almost a year now and knowing he does— you wanted it to be special and memorable for him! he felt really bad making you stay at his apartment until he finishes up work, really zooming through all the documents and stuff he needed to complete just so he can spend at least a few hours of christmas eve with you. when he got home, his heart dropped to his stomach at the sight of you falling asleep on the couch, right next to the lit up christmas tree you two decorated a week ago (thats how busy he has been! you opted to fix the tree yourself, but tetsu insisted on doing it together since it’s your first holiday with him!). your favorite blanket was wrapped around you but your feet were dangling midway with no socks on and he just >:( had to carry you to bed and tuck you in— all of you!! 

he changes to a sweater and pjs before readying himself to carry you against his chest. his own body is exhausted from working non-stop, but he doesn’t let it get to him as he passes by the hallway and plops you gently on your side of the bed. you stir groggily, eyes refusing to open but you notice your surroundings are different. the room is dimly lit but the figure walking around the place isn’t amiss; with his hair sticking up and his wide shoulders, you know it’s your tired boyfriend finally home for the holidays. you smile, still sleep-induced but you try to reach over for him. “tetsu… come to bed, please,” you mumble but he hears you, and his back is against you but he smiles at your half-awake tone. “i’ll be right there,” he lets you know softly, and true to his word you feel the dip in the mattress with his warmth slowly exuding onto your own body, his hands easily finding themselves over you. you wiggle into his grasp, head against his chest and hands holding onto his waist. he feels warm, he feels like home, and you press a kiss where his neck meets his collarbones. “mm, merry christm…” you mutter, losing consciousness but he doesn’t mind. he lets you snore your way into dreamland, watching your eyelashes tickle the surface of your skin, lips partly open as you breathe in and out. suddenly, his tense muscles relax with your presence oh so close to you, and he sleeps soundly after a few minutes of admiring your face.

as the sunlight filters thru the windows, kuroo wakes up first but knowing it’s his day off (finally), he relaxes into the bed and just observes the tiny details of your face, same as the night before but with some of the brightly shining rays of the sun hitting the right spots— you’re breathtaking to him. he feels you stir in his embrace so he pretends to snore because he knows you like to get up as soon as you feel awake. “tetsu…” you mumble, popping out your head from his grasp to peer your eyes at him pretending to not hear you. “you’re a lousy liar, i know you’re up,” you tell him, rubbing your nose against him as a form of an eskimo kiss. it takes so much out of his restraint to bite his lip in pure love for you, so he gives in and kisses you on the lips. 

you are taken aback for a split second until you comply to his request, and you spend your first christmas morning with him in bed just like that <3 he still asks if you guys can spend the whole day just tangled into each other’s embrace but you lecture him playfully, knowing that he had a christmas party to attend to in the afternoon with his closest friends (bokuto, akaashi, kenma, and others) and you have a lovely dinner planned in the evening. he wiggles his eyebrows, fingertips tracing the exposed skin on your chest, “what if we skip all of that and i just have you for dinner instead?” “KUROO TETSUROU IT IS TOO EARLY FOR YOU TO SAY THAT RIGHT NOW—” you swear to god, it is his teasing and malicious intent that will kill you one day. but the blush on your face doesn’t go unnoticed, and yet kuroo complies with your light nagging, getting up and getting ready for the day. you’re happy that he finally has the day off, and being with his friends during the party truly lightened up his mood. afterwards, he then asks where you got a reservation during the busiest time of the year, and you just winked at him and zipped your mouth. 

since you ate a bit at the party, you knew you had some time to finish prepping the food you had prepared the night before, it all just needed to bake or be cooked on the pan. and bec of his exhaustion last night, he didn’t even open the fridge at all so there were zero suspicious at your surprise dinner. urging him to take a long, hot bath, he drags you with him. “you seriously want me to take a bath by myself?” he says in shock horror, and normally you would join him hah but you tell him that your parents are calling, just wanting to say hello. a little sad, kuroo nods in understanding and so he goes about his way while you cook the food with haste. he likes to take his time in there but you know you won’t finish beforehand, so once he’s out of the bathroom, you immediately go right in front of him to hide the view of the kitchen. you played yourself, seeing kuroo only in his bathrobe with his chest exposed, you slap him right at the center to ignore the sensation in the pit of your stomach. “what?? what’d i do???” “existing right in front of me like that!!” kuroo laughs at your embarrassment, but kisses you on the forehead nonetheless. he ignores the obvious smell of pasta and chicken in the apartment, ignores the messy apron you forgot to take off because he thinks you really wanted to surprise him. so he goes to the room to change, thinking about how lucky he is to have you in his life. the rest of the night ends up with the both of you having a romantic dinner in the dining room, talking about everything you already know about each other—but it never feels repetitive. he always feels so renewed with you, falling in love every day. 

[kkulmoon]

SUNSET HEARTBEAT | KTH

pairing: Taehyung x Reader (f)

genre: fantasy au, hybrid au, sci-fi (?), fluff, angst

word count: 5.1k

rating: pg

a/n: ngl i feel like the beginning portion is a bit rusty, by rusty I mean it may feel a bit slow but pls give it a chance 🥺, I struggled to write that 😭. I am also tagging two very lovely people who were excited about this, hopefully you like it uwu @blossomkoo​ @inkedxclouds​. This fic is part of Bangtan Scenery’s collab ‘April Showers Bring May Flowers’, make sure to check out everyone else’s entries!

warnings: implied sex, other than that none, except for heartbreak and slight purple patches here and there cause I was in the mood hehe

beta read by: lovely angie @scvkjin​ and amazing emi @bangtiddies​ 💕 

synopsis: The time had come for the seventh sun to rise. For the seventh and last color in line to have its cycle. As one indigo supernova signified the coming of a purple nebula, you and Taehyung spent the remaining of your last day together creating something of your own. If it comes into fruition can only be known years in the future. A decade after you found someone unlike anyone. Truly one of a kind. Someone with a destiny they couldn’t outrun. It has been 10 years since the birth of a purple sun.

☁︎ masterlist ☁︎

It was in your final year of university, twelve years ago, that you met Taehyung. That same year you decided it was time to give up on the idea of becoming an astronomer. Quite frankly, you were just too dumb. However, it did not mean that you couldn't enjoy it all while living a life where pretending that you truly understood everything was your best bet, your only bet. They all say that interest and dedication trumps natural talent, right? For that same reason you decided to still attend as many astronomy lectures as possible even though you were studying to become an English teacher. You were always quiet and attentive so either the professors didn't notice you or let you be. Either way, what mattered was that you got to be there.

The first time the two of you interacted was a random weekday in April, near finals’ season. You were sitting at the back of the room as usual. The professor had handed out some papers to be passed back. A gold tinted hand with slender fingers, on which well groomed and shiny fingernails were present, reached out to you. You could all but wave away at the paper, trying your best to dismiss it. A pouty and confused expression was what you got as he continued to jab the paper onto your palm. You kept trying to mouth 'it's okay' but he was persistent. Not much of a purple characteristic but surely a sun one, now that you think about it. Finally you settled for a verbal response.

“I don't actually take this class, so really, i'm fine.”

He retreated his hand for a second, “Huh, don't we all wish that was true,” he said as he placed the paper on the small desk in front of you instead. “You've got this! We're almost done, hold in there.” You got a thumbs up before he turned back to focus on the class.

And every week from there on, whenever he got a short moment in class while the professor was writing on the board Taehyung would pester you with motivational notes filled with sayings. One particular somber April morning where you looked more tired than usual he even went as far as offering to help you with the class and your homework. You did your best to decline and yet that same night you got an email in your inbox that told you he obviously hadn't understood.

| Kim Taehyung     Chapter 15: Helpful Resources, (hang on there, you got this!) |

While you didn't take the class and had no official obligations to learn anything, you were still interested in astronomy so you decided to have a look. The links did clear up some questions you had during the lecture. However, you didn't want him to be wasting time helping a lost cause. As much as you loved reading about astronomy and learning about it, you were slow and having him help you was more than unnecessary. The definition of futile work. You decided to send him a screenshot of the official classes you were attending from the university's student portal. You made sure to censor your grades. He truly didn't need to think that you were any dumber, all he needed was proof that you weren't taking the class.

But once again, Taehyung's sun qualities shone through. Where it would have been expected for the person to drop the subject and for the two of you to go back to your habitual behaviour, he thought otherwise. He responded, but this time instead of answers he had questions, none of which you felt like answering so you left him on read. Well, the email version of read. You opened the email, read it, thought about answering it but ultimately left the email thread to die on the read pile.

A week went by. No Taehyung and you felt relieved. At least that's how you think you felt, the sleep deprivation might have been playing tricks on you. As yet another day came, where the indigo sun let its rays shine, Taehyung thought it better for him to act as the sun. You hadn't seen him in class, but it just turned out he changed his usual spot. He tried to catch you before you left the room but your daydreaming self was quick on her feet. He had a quick talk with the professor before he hurried to you.

“Hey!” The sound of sandals echoed against the cement floor. “Hey! You there!" 

You kept on walking, as far as you knew your name wasn’t you there'.  Someone grumbled behind you only to exclaim after a short while. 

“Y/N! Y/N! Hold up, I need to talk to you.” So in that case you were 'you there' and someone was Taehyung. 

You stopped walking and turned around. You couldn’t help but cock your head at him. You had only seen Taehyung from the torso up while in class. His attire surprised you for some reason. Maybe because he was a STEM student and you had expected him to look more uptight. He looked like one of the people from the pot dorm down your hallway.  Everything he wore was oversized except for the big knitted headband he had on now that he was outside. He looked devoid of colour with his muted clothes, but his cross body bag stood out with its patterned rainbow material.

"Yeah, what is it?" The quicker you could get it over with the better. However, Taehyung didn’t seem to agree with you on that aspect. He took his sweet time to fix the misplaced headband as you were left to witness the action. As much as you would have liked to categorise the scene as boring, it would have been a lie. His grey hair strands somehow managed to sparkle in the sun. They didn’t shine the normal way hair shines when light reflects on it. His hair literally sparkled as if it had recognised something familiar within the sun rays. But at the time you just thought you were being delusional or being tricked by the elements of his beauty.

"You didn't answer my email," he asked with curious eyes and an innocent tone. Right, that happened.

"Oh, that... uhm... I just haven't gotten the time to go through my email, things have been a bit hectic," you shot him a sympathetic smile.

Taehyung seemed like a pretty understanding person but he sure wasn’t dumb. You saw the way his tongue shifted to lick his lips as his teeth found their way onto his bottom lip. He trailed his hands on the strap of his bags as a pensive lip bite made adorned his features. Taehyung could have either been nervous or so irked by the bullshit you just spat at him that his body was reacting. Either way you felt bad for your white lie, but maybe not bad enough.

"It has been two weeks though," Taehyung stretches his back to stand straighter, "Also I take a chem class with Hoseok and you're always chatting in the gmail chat so..." 

What do you say to that? You lied and the worst part of it all was that you were caught right in the same moment. Your mouth opened and closed continuously as a hot flush made itself present on your ears and neck. You made note of the fact that Taehyung seems sweet but he actually packed a punch and was definitely ready to confront you on your bullshit. Classic STEM student approach, just face things head on. Thinking back at it, that was yet another instance in which his sun characteristics took the wheel. The sun's rays don't budge for anything or anyone and they certainly don't cave in to make others feel comfortable.

"Uhmm... right. But I am here now, so ask away!" Maybe your fake enthusiasm could make up for your little lie. Taehyung gave you a wondering look as he calculated  the pros and cons of continuing this conversation, You hoped the cons would win. 

“Uhmm, alright, fair enough,” He shrugged and the pros must have won because he kept talking. “Why do you go to astronomy lessons if you don’t take the class?”

Why did he want to get into your personal business? You could have very well told him that it was none of his business, turned around and left. But that seemed a tad bit too rude for you and for some weird reason you didn't want him to think of you as any more rude that you had been.

Would you paint yourself as an overly ambitious student that just had a general love of learning or would you tell him the truth? If you were to lie again you were sure he wouldn't manage to uncover this lie.

"I just like astronomy and find the class interesting, on top of that I've got time so like why not?" You felt good about your response, so good you were happy that you had made the choice not to lie to him, again.

"Oh okay, then how come you didn't apply for the program?" Wow, this dude was really trying to uncover all of your flaws during the first real conversation you've had. He should have become a detective instead, his focused and analysing eyes made it very hard for you to lie and not feel any residual guilt. He would, without a doubt, catch you if you were to slip up again.

"Uhm... I just felt like education was the right place for me you know." You shook your head with squinted eyes in hopes that he would just get you. Which he obviously didn’t if you had to go off of the way his jaw jutted out to the side. 

"Well, to put it simply, I am not the brightest of students and while actually taking the class would have been a nightmare, just being there and listening and learning at my own slow pace just makes me feel better about my shortcomings."

Taehyung's lips parted slightly. Okay, maybe you didn't have to give such a confession but he had been pushing and you wanted it to just end.

"Ohh, I see." Not the response you expected but how else do you respond to someone who said that they were too dumb to follow their dream. "But still my offer stands, if you need help trying to understand anything, feel free to tap my shoulder in class."

"But you changed seats to sit in the front."

"Nah not really, I was just bitter that you hadn't answered and didn't want to hurt you. From now on you'll see me at my usual spot in front of you."

The squeamish movement that accompanied the words ‘hurt you’ gave rise to a wondering look on your face. Hurt you? Why would he hurt you? Taehyung looked pretty harmless so you decided to not take his weird comment at face value. He most likely meant hurting you in a verbal sense.

The rest of the semester progressed in that same weird manner that characterised your relationship with Taehyung. A constant push and pull that kept being encouraged by your closest friends– Hoseok being the top player in the game. Inevitably, the more time you spent with him the more you warmed up to him. A month down the road the two of you decided to put a label on it. Or it was more so you who needed a verbal confirmation that you had somehow managed to catch someone's interest.

It took you awhile to reset the way you thought. Your wandering mind wasn’t only filled with personal affairs anymore, another individual had found their place in your day to day thoughts. All of a sudden being affectionate wasn't something you had to actively be, it was simply default mode whenever Taehyung crossed your field of vision.

For that reason alone, finals season was filled with movie nights, whispered love confessions, enough takeaways from different cuisines that you felt you were now ready to become a food critic. But the most precious instances of that time was the afternoons where Taehyung did his best to teach you astronomy and you being too lazy to listen despite your interest. You can't help but ask yourself if you would have been more attentive had you known what astronomy actually meant to him.

You had now been with Taehyung for one entire year. One year filled with diametrically opposite feelings. The good, the bad and the ugly. But ultimately all of it was left at the door the moment the two of you decided to reconcile despite the drawbacks. You were happy. The kind of happy that you don't recognise until it's gone. That can only be acknowledged in the midst of incoming fury. You had never in your life wished for the ability to predict the future. To see what happens after sunrise before it is manifested. 

One particular day eleven years ago, you wished that astronomy was fake, that the sun wasn't real and that it never needed to rise or set, to be born or die. You wished the sun didn't exist, knowing very well that that would mean the most important person in your life wouldn't exist. But you could have dealt with that. 

Longing for something you know you could have hurts far more than craving for the unknown. In the latter situation there's at least hope, that if you search hard and long enough you could find that thing you so deeply want. In the former, you know where that thing is, it's in fact right under your nose, or more accurately right over your head, where you can feel it at least a little bit every single day. Except this time you can't have it, no matter how hard you wish for it or how long you choose to wait. The whole scenario was like a twisted marshmallow test. Made to incite cravings with no intention of ever quenching them.

This all started a year following the start of your relationship with Taehyung. At that time you took notice to how hot he would get at the most unexpected of times. A behaviour that was usually reserved for when he was irritated or angry. It wasn’t only him that was hot but he radiated the kind of heat reserved for an extremely sunny summer’s day. 

You overlooked those instances and decided not to pay them too much mind. It could just be you having the extreme hots from him. However on a particular night, you just couldn’t bring yourself to stay in bed with Taehyung. The sheets were drenched and the windows had fogged up. You had to leave and find refuge in your living room sleeping right by a fan. 

The coming morning you woke up to breakfast on the table and right beside it there was a thick pocket sized book. The Book Of Suns. That was the white title that was engraved onto the black cover. Taehyung was nowhere to be found but his belongings were still in your room so you assumed he had gone for his morning walk. 

You had to make a choice between the two. Would you read the book first or you would eat breakfast first? You knew that whatever you were about to find out would most likely curb your appetite. Your hand glided against the rough cover of the book. 

Wouldn't it be better to read it now, just in case something made you extremely sad? That way you could cry before he got back home. Whatever it was that you were about to find out was very important to him, important enough that he wanted you to form your own opinion of it in peace. He wanted in no way for his presence to taint your reaction towards the truth that he had been hiding. Or as he thought protecting you from.

You sat down by the table, knees to your chest as you brought the book onto your hands. 'The Book Of Suns' was, as you realised after reading it, just that, a book about suns, in particular Taehyung’s sun lineage. It was a story about your world’s suns, the rainbow sun family. A fact unknown to you before that very moment. You were surprised by your behaviour, you weren’t exactly known for having calm reactions. It must have been Taehyung’s scent on the sweater you wore. It tickled your nose and calmed your senses. The book served as a track record for the next person in line to become the sun. It had seven chapters. Beside each chapter title in the contents page there were small vertical lines. The first six suns had five lines while the last had four. Taehyung must be purple sun. You read silently or more so you attempted to read silently, the deep breaths you were taking in effort to digest everything couldn't be contained.

After a continuous hour of reading you got to what was perhaps the most interesting chapter. Where do the dead suns go? And most importantly what do the suns that have yet to be born stay? You were cautious about continuing your reading. What if you found out that Taehyung was in fact just the ghost of someone that didn't actually exist? Or worse what if Taehyung would cease to exist? 

Fear curbed your initiative to let your eyes continue their dance on the page. But fear also did its job in fixating your attention on the slightly faded black letters present on the off-white pages. Fear of the unknown is always worse than that of the known.

Deep in the forest, there was the garden of suns. Every time a sun died and resurrected as a human, their statue appeared in the garden, where their sun soul was kept, only to vanish on the day of their sun birth. In the middle of the pages there was a picture, at the back of it you could read Taehyung’s harsh handwriting ‘The garden of suns -15/07/39’. He had been there four days ago.

The statues of the first five suns were covered with vibrant collared moss equivalent of their sun pigment. The sixth and seventh sun’s statues were only slightly visible in the photograph. They seemed to be in an intermediary phase. Not quite gone, yet not quite there. It was hard to figure out whether they were emerging or vanishing. That’s until you remembered the previous week’s news report. A supernova was on its way and scientists believed it would most likely occur near the end of next year. 

The indigo sun is near its death, and a purple sun is nearing its ascent. 

Taehyung’s statue was the one vanishing. His sun soul was ready to find its owner and ascend to its rightful place amongst the other stars. Just as you were about to continue reading, ready to delve into how this whole sun birth situation went about, the sound of metal clashing against metal resounded in the dead silence. Clinging keys and heavy steps entered the apartment. 

No 'hello' or 'glad to see you're finally awake'. But could you blame him? It would have been weird to act as if it was like any other of your usual mornings. You wished you had mustered up the strength to get off the chair and go greet him at the entrance. In your mind you did that but in reality you stayed rooted right where you were, back squeezed into the corner between the table and chair.

Taehyung walked in to lean against the door frame that lead into the kitchen. He looked exhausted. Dark under eye bags decorated weary eyes. You thought you could hear a tentative squeak come out of his mouth. Maybe you should've said something, because he looked like he was hurting and trying to find the appropriate words to start a conversation he knew would only end with heartache and tears. You thought that talking about the small steps he made outside was a good way to segue into talking about the biggest step he would take in his life. One that he could unfortunately not walk back on. 

"How was your walk?" You managed to ask before Taehyung walked past the kitchen and into the bedroom. He stopped midway, standing in the living room, where sun rays illuminated his surroundings. You couldn't help but think that it was very fitting for him to become a sun. The rays may have been bright and hot but he was the only one able to make you feel as hot as the sun and make your smile shine brighter than the biggest star. He was already a sun. Your sun. Why did he need to leave and become everyone's sun as well?

"Pretty good, helped me wake up," he said and sat down on the bean bag present beside him. You put the book down on the dining table just to look back at him from your seat. You were just there, in the moment, sitting down and doing your best to have an internal conversation. Both of you knew that words would hurt too much. And they surely couldn't bear the complete weight of what your current predicament meant neither could they have illustrated the joint pain that was shared between two beating hearts.

Your conversation might have been dead but the emotion was very much alive. You stood up from your seat, Taehyung's knitted sweater fell back down to caress your thighs. The walk to the beanbag felt like an eternity, not because it was but because you made it so. You had felt his sour and vigilant mood and you knew that being playful at that moment was your best bet. You tiptoed back and forth all the way to the beanbag as the sweater shifted here and there to reveal skin that was highlighted blue by the sun.

He was upset but he couldn't manage to keep his mouth set. His lips would stretch and unstretch as small playful wiggles played at the tip of his mouth. Finally you had found your way to the bean bag. You stood tall as your body cast a shadow over his. You placed a foot on the bean bag as the material sunk under your weight and you found your place on his lap. 

Right there, that's the kind of pat in the back that Taehyung gave you as his arms enveloped your slouching form. You snuggled your head deep into the crook of his neck and inhaled all the way in. If he was really gonna be leaving you, you needed to make sure you could imprint the scent and feel of his flesh right onto yours.

You sat there, quiet, with synchronised breaths yet fighting thoughts. How in the heck were you supposed to manage this? Him just being gone? Sure, you had a year left before it was officially time, but a year is far from a lifetime, what he had promised you.

"You are sure you don't want to talk about it?" Long hand strokes continue to comfort your back. You move your buried head side to side, groaning in response. Alright is all he said. Things were far from alright.

While on that morning you decided not to talk further on the topic, the coming months were filled with explorative trips to the Garden of Suns, where you would spend hours listening to Taehyung tell you about the stories of him and his sun brothers. He talked about being particularly close to the blue sun.

"It's just because he literally has no filter," he said gazing longingly at the statue covered with flashy blue moss.

"Is that like, dangerous?"

"Well yeah for you, but I am a sun remember." He turned around on the grass to face your way.

"And that's probably why I orbit around you." The huge grin that found its ways to your face was uncontrollable and contagious as Taehyung couldn’t help but snicker at your corny joke.

Just like that, your months together flew by until it was finally d-day. You hoped that waking up wouldn't be a necessity but Taehyung refused to let you sleep through it. He refused to let you think that it was all a dream. Getting yourself off the bed and into the shower felt like an endless task. One that he was patient enough to help you with. In hindsight you feel bad about having put him through that on such a significant day. He was, most likely, having a harder time dealing with his destiny than you were. That day was one to remember, the most vivid of them all, the most cherished of them all yet the most sad of them all.

All of that happened in the past and you were currently in an unsure present. The indigo sun had faced its fate, to be extinguished in an equally coloured supernova that would give rise to the last one in line, a purple sun. One day they would all be back to the complete cycle. A day where you wouldn't be present.

It has been ten years since Taehyung became a sun. You could talk to him, well, not really but you could see him and most importantly feel him. It had been a decade since you asked him to leave you something to remember him by, a part of him, a living one. On the night of Taehyung’s sun birth he decided to take you up on the offer. Cuddled up, in each other’s arms that’s how the day progressed. While usually persistent yet gentle, that night Taehyung felt it was appropriate and maybe in fact vital for him let his sun like ferocity be expressed. How else could you have understood the intensity of his feelings, a muddy mix of grief and love. The remains of that one last heated night were left for you to admire and cherish.

You thought you would manage to stay up the entire night to witness the purple sun birth but Taehyung’s warmth, forehead kisses and soft singing lulled you to sleep before you could realise it. 

Nothing was felt. No heat, no cold. Nothing was seen. No light, no spark. Taehyung was gone into the void in the same effortless way he entered your life. You’ve now been waiting over a decade to know if the fruits of that night would come into fruition. Conception can only happen when eclipses take place. Eclipses happen every 126 months. It has been 10 years. Half a year is left.

That half year could not have passed at a slower pace. It was a Thursday, yet another tiring day at school. You loved kids but you were drained of energy. You couldn't wait for time to pass by so that you could leave. It was Thursday, which meant you could watch the sunset to its complete  end without being bothered. It was also Thursday, the day after you got your first ultrasound. Taehyung may have not been there but that didn't mean you couldn't share the remaining of your waking hours with him, whenever you thought it was possible. You looked out of the window from your classroom to see purple hues in the sky as the sun said goodbye to leave place to another night.

The clouds thought otherwise, for some reason they always felt the need to be there to cloud his presence. What right did they have to cover up his tint? If it weren’t for them you would have been able to bask in his purple light, let it colour you bare as your feelings went from blank to purple butterflies that made you lose sight as tears formed in your eyes.

So you did what any sensible person still in love would have done. As soon as the clock struck 4 pm you ran to catch the train that would take you from skyscraper views to wide flower fields. It took the train two hours. You did your best to enjoy the way he set along the ride. Once you arrived you were left with two entire hours to enjoy the last of him and say goodbye to Taehyung and hello to the darkness.

During that time you reached into Taehyung's patterned cross body bag. You truly hated it but it was his so you kept it. You pulled out the ultrasound picture and raised it to the little part of sun that was still left. You didn't actually think that he would, through some weird magical way, actually be able to see it. It was more so something to calm your conscience. But most importantly, it presented you with the opportunity to capture an unusual family picture. It was you, the ultrasound, your baby bump and the purple sunset all in one picture. One that had found its rightful place on your bedside table.

Years unmasked themselves to reveal the growth of your child. One that grew to inherit the intensity of her father. Every now and then you made sure to let her know about him. As young as she was she couldn't truly understand it all, but as a child your love story was something that was within imaginable grounds. So you took advantage of that and taught her all you could about him. Maybe if you started early she could manage to develop past your less refined genes with regards to learning.

You took your time to tell her all that she wished to know and all that you wished to share. Sugarcoating to the maximum, cause that’s what Taehyung would do, but still making sure to keep a coherent timeline. One specific day you are unable to answer her question.

"Wh–why did dad break the promish?"

You had to fight long and hard with your tear ducts. Never had you cried in front her and you didn't intend to do it anytime soon.

In fact in one way or the other, Taehyung hadn't lied about keeping his promise. He had omitted some important specifics but he hadn't completely been untruthful. He said a lifetime and he would give you a lifetime. It just happened to be one where he wasn't always there, present by your side. 

However he would always get up to see you rise, and always say goodbye as he sets down to give place for lonely nights. And on all of those goodbyes unlike the one where he left you for the first and last time, you could swear that in bed with your child pressed to your chest, you could feel and hear his sunset heartbeat as clear and strong as the rays of a certain purple sun, your only one. Sun rays filled with his most cherished truth: 

‘I will turn purple when i miss you and to say i love you’.

Posted: May 28, 2020

[trashscenariihxh]

Morel x Reader

This was a commission! Just a reminder, when someone commissions something from me, I make the reader as specific as they want.  Names, appearance, age... anything!  But if the person commissioning it consents for me to post it on the blog, all of that is removed and reader becomes nameless and faceless again.  Just an FYI to all would-be commissioners.

Morel had always been incredibly transparent with you about the nature of his job; you’d always accepted and supported his decisions, no matter how uneasy they made you feel at times. No, you’d never said a word against his missions and extended leaves… until now.

“You’re going where?”

Morel smiled apologetically. “Come on, Baby, don’t be angry.”

You shook your head in disbelief.  “It’s not the fact that you’re leaving again.” You sighed loudly and slumped against the arm of the sofa.  “It’s the fact that you’re leaving so soon.  Morel…”  You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed again.  “You were in the hospital.  For weeks.”  You’d never seen him look as weak as he had when you’d visited him in the hospital after he returned from the NGL.  The journey had taken so much out of him.  Too much.

To your annoyance, Morel smiled again.  “I’m okay, though.  Really.” He reached out for you only to have his hand swatted away.

“And that’s another thing!” you continued, determinedly staring at the floor, “you’re leaving tomorrow. And you only just told me now. Don’t you realize how… disrespectful that is?”

Morel fell silent for a moment.  “I’m sorry,” he murmured, slowly reaching over to you again and resting a large hand on your shoulder.  “I should have mentioned it earlier.  But I promise you, everything was up in the air until just yesterday.”  When you didn’t respond, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and drew you into him.  “Hey,” he murmured softly, leaning down to kiss your forehead, “don’t be too mad, yeah?” His hand began to trail down your arm as he drew you in even closer; when you rolled your eyes and huffed, he changed gears: wheedling became flattery.

“You look gorgeous tonight.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”  You glared halfheartedly at him, only to be met with a soft smile.

“No, really.” A long finger trailed along your cheek.  “You’re absolutely stunning, _____.” His grin broadened.  “How am I doing?  Am I getting anywhere yet?”

A snort of laughter erupted from you as you struggled to maintain the glare.  “A little bit,” you conceded. Your face softened as you allowed yourself the tiniest hint of a smile. Getting angry at Morel was easy; staying angry with him was quite another matter.  Morel seemed to be acutely aware of this.

“So…” he turned his body to face you.  “Since I’m leaving tomorrow…”

You arched an eyebrow. “You think you deserve special treatment?”

“Maybe a little bit.” Morel shrugged, his smile not faltering.

You sighed, slumping forward. “Morel…” You trailed off as you choked on your words.

“Hey…”  Strong arms pulled you into his chest as Morel held you close.  “Don’t worry, _____.  It’ll be okay.  I’ll be fine.”

“Will you?”  You rested your head against his massive chest and breathed in his scent; vaguely smokey. Warm.  

“Yeah.”  He rubbed soothing circles over your back.  “Yeah, I will.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

“And I was right.  I’m fine.”

“Hmph.” You fell silent for a moment, content with enjoying the closeness and being soothed by the thrum of his heartbeat.  The warmth of his body flowed through you; you could have stayed like this forever. A forever you didn’t have. “Morel?”  You pulled back and looked up at him.

“Hm?”

“I’ll miss you.”

A large hand cupped your cheek.  “I’ll miss you too, Baby.”  His thumb affectionately rubbed against your skin.

A wave of desperate tenderness flooded your core, and for a brief moment you felt tears begin to prick your eyes. You fought them away.  “You need to promise me you’ll come back.”

A deep roll of laughter rumbled within Morel’s chest as he leaned down to press soft kisses to your mouth and cheeks.  “I promise,” he said between kisses, still cradling your face in his hands, “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Really?”  Your eyes swept over his face, searching for traces of insincerity.  They found none; only the warm, broad, honest face of the man whose long absences you’d borne for years.  He always came back.  With trembling hands, you reached out to stroke along his jawline.  There was a very particular kind of warmth about Morel’s face. Perma-tanned from countless years at sea, his face was marked with tiny creases around his eyes and thin crescents at the corners of his mouth; the face of a man who smiled easily and often.  Lately, the creases seemed deeper than usual.

“Don’t get sad on me now,” Morel chuckled, turning to kiss your palm.  “Or else you’ll make me sad too.”

You began to protest that no, you weren’t sad, but were cut off by Morel picking you up and literally throwing you over his shoulder as he rose from the couch. “Hey!” You halfheartedly swatted at his back.  “What the hell?”

“Things were getting a little too melancholy for my liking.”  A large, warm hand softly squeezed your thigh.  “How about I cheer you up a bit?”

You squealed in lukewarm indignation when Morel carried you into the bedroom and laid you down onto the bed but melted into his touch when he crawled on top of you.  Large hands ran over your body, skimming lightly up your sides and eliciting a giggle from you.

“A-ha!”  Morel smiled triumphantly as he dipped to kiss your neck. “Success already.”

Surrendering to his infectious mirth, you pulled him closer and grinned into the coarse fabric of his shirt. “Hey,” you wrapped your legs around his waist and gave a gentle squeeze, “if you want to lighten the mood, hurry it up.”

“Someone’s eager.” Morel gave your earlobe a playful nip before drawing back to unbutton his shirt. Far too slowly for your liking. You were about to spur him onward, but Morel clicked his tongue preemptively.  “Now, now, Baby, no need to get impatient.”  He undid another button.  “No need to rush.” Another button.

You bit your lower lip as you watched him reveal his broad, muscled chest.  A tingling warmth was begging to pool in the pit of your stomach; your earlier irritation had been replaced by longing, an urgent need to be touched.  You desperately needed him to speed things up.

“Slowing down, Old Man?” you teased, hastily removing your clothes and tossing them to the bedroom floor. Reclining on the bed again, you shot him a wicked smirk.

Morel shook his head, shrugging off his shirt with an infuriating slowness that had to have been deliberate.  “If you’re trying to goad me, ____, it won’t work.”

You pouted.  “Damn it, Morel, we don’t have all night.”  Really, you didn’t.  

“Still doesn’t mean we have to rush.”  Morel was on you again; his fingers running up and down your now-exposed waist. “Besides,” he pressed a deceptively chaste kiss to your mouth before kissing trail down your chest, “the faster we take things, the sooner it will end.”  He stopped kissing you right as he reached your navel to smile cheekily up at you. “I’m an old man, as you say.  I only have one round in me.”

“Well, better make it a good one.”  You groaned and let your head fall back onto the pillows as Morel chuckled and resumed kissing down the length of your body.  When he dipped between your legs, you hummed and let your body relax, ready for what was sure to come.  When it didn’t, you propped yourself up on your elbows and gave Morel a questioning look. “Problem?”

“Never.”  Morel kissed your thigh.  “Just savoring the moment.”

“Well, can you savor it a little bit fast-oh!” You collapsed back onto the bed with a groan when you felt his tongue drag along your entrance in one long, hot, exquisite lick. “Oh…”

You’d been with Morel for years and yet you were continually surprised by just how good he was with his tongue.  The way he was licking, no, devouring you now, made heat and tension coil in the pit of your stomach.  A whimper of frustrated pleasure escaped your throat when his tongue skated over the sensitive nerve endings that demanded his attention; instead of focusing on that one spot where you needed him the most, Morel’s tongue lapped at your entrance and slipped inside.

You whined, reaching down to tangle your fingers in his hair in hopes of redirecting him.  Your need was white-hot now, the teasing jolts of pleasure that were coursing through your lower half were on the verge of being painful.  As to be expected, Morel ignored your demands, opting instead to explore your entrance with languid enthusiasm.

“Come on, Morel,” you insisted, squeezing your eyes shut and feeling your cheeks burn when you heard the obscenely loud slurp of him withdrawing his tongue. This time he listened and focused his attention right where you needed him to; his tongue swirled over the bundle of nerves in tight little circles while he slipped two thick fingers inside of you.  Your vision blurred.

“Right there,” you gasped out, bucking your hips in an effort to get more of that delicious direct stimulation.

Morel obliged, eager to draw more of those lewd noises from you.  His fingers curled within you, stroking that one spot of yours that he knew so well.  When he crooked his fingers again and pressed against it, you moaned and began to grind against his face.

It didn’t take long for Morel to draw your orgasm out of you; you came with a choked sob, clenching around his fingers and trembling around him.  As you came down from your high Morel withdrew, quickly shedding the rest of his clothing before climbing on top of you and capturing your lips with a searing, open-mouthed kiss.  You melted into this touch, not caring that you could taste yourself on him.

Fueled by the desire for even more closeness, you wrapped your legs around Morel’s waist.  His painfully hard arousal pressed against your thigh; you shifted, hoping to line your entrance up with his cock.

“Still eager?” Morel’s lips grazed your throat as he pressed you into the mattress.  He smiled against your skin when you hummed impatiently, then shifted to run the head of his cock against your entrance.  “You want this?”

“Uh-huh!” You dug your fingers into his shoulders in an attempt to spur him onward.  

“Hm…” Morel continued to rub his cock against you, letting the head teasingly slip inside then out again. “Since I’ve been nice and gotten you so nicely warmed up…” In an instant he seized your hips, rolling onto his back and bringing you with him, holding you in place astride his hips.  He smiled warmly up at you.  “How about you return the favor a little?”  Large hands gripped your waist and lifted you onto his cock.

A series of sighs escaped your lips as you sank down onto him.

Morel’s hands caressed your hips and thighs as you rode him, occasionally giving your ass a squeeze whenever you clenched around his cock.  His eyes swept lovingly over your body, content to watch you as you took your pleasure from him.

“That’s it.”  He ran his hands up your sides.  “Just like that.”

You tightened around him again and his hips jerked upwards.  “Gods, ____,” he groaned, taking your hands in his so you could brace yourself against them, “do you want to finish me off so soon?”

You absolutely did. The sight of Morel’s blown pupils and the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead was enough of an incentive to keep going, to make him lose himself inside of you.  You tightened your grip on his hands as you continued to ride him, lifting your hips and sinking back down onto him in an increasingly erratic rhythm.

Your breaths were ragged, coming in hoarse pants as your vision tunneled.  For a moment there was nothing else: only Morel and the ever-increasing heat between your legs.

When Morel disentangled one hand from yours and began to stroke you, you cried out; it was all you could take.  Waves of heat and pressure crashed into you as you trembled around him for the second time that evening.

It was the feeling of your body spasming around him that finally broke Morel’s self-control.  He grunted through tightly-clenched teeth and slammed up into you hard enough to make you close your eyes and arch back almost painfully.  He thrust into you a few more times before reaching his own orgasm, finishing inside you with a grunt.

With a satisfied sigh, Morel squeezed your hand and gently tugged you towards him, pulling you down onto his chest.  Feeling the warmth of his chest and the soothing touch of his fingers running over your back was enough to send you into a sleepy haze.  There was just something so comforting about being near him like this… you want to stay that way forever.

“Morel,” you mumbled sleepily into his chest as your eyelids grew still heavier.

“Hm?”

“Don’t be gone for long this time.”

“I’ll try.”  

You didn’t like the noncommittal answer but accepted it all the same.  What choice did you have?  Besides, no matter how long he’d be away for, you’d wait for him.  Always.

[spencers-dria]

Blood, So Much Blood

Someone To Stay Ch. 19

Spencer x fem reader

Content/Trigger Warnings: Gun, knife, blood, violence, sexual assault, NGL it get's pretty dark and twisty

You dance around your living room, slipping and sliding across the floor in your mismatched Christmas socks. You just got back from visiting your family for Thanksgiving. As much as you wanted to bring Spencer along, he had been called away on yet another case. Neither of you were thrilled, but you understood. You still bragged endlessly to your family about how wonderful he was and how much he cared about helping others. They understood as well. You seemed to win them over just with your stories of how the relationship got started.

But now you're back in your apartment, quickly cleaning up and putting out your decorations as you dance to the Christmas music station. Spencer had sent a quick text letting you know he would be back from the case tonight. You prepared for the fact that he might be too tired to spend time together, but you were not about to be caught unprepared, just in case.

The last month with Spencer has been magical. It was difficult to make time for dates with your schedules, but somehow he made it work. He always makes time for you, whether it means stopping by on his way home after his flight lands, just to kiss you goodnight, or a quick phone call after he gets to his hotel room before he promptly passes out. He had definitely fallen asleep on the phone once or twice. It was adorable and you didn't mind one bit.

A knock on the door sends your heart racing. Call it the honeymoon phase or whatever you like, but you were sure that he would never stop making you feel this way. You take a deep breath before swinging open the door, and you find yourself utterly speechless.

All you can do is stare, mouth gaping open as your eyes lock on Spencer. You don't even consider that you have yet to give any kind of opinion on his new look. You're snapped out of your daze as he stares down at his feet, nervously rubbing his hand along the back of his neck.

"Um 'M sorry...probably should have told you first. Or not cut it at all. I can put on a hat if it's that bad?" He mumbles toward the ground.

He looks up, watching you with doe eyes, waiting for any kind of reaction. You finally move, your hands reach up to feel the freshly shaven sides of his head before running through the fluffy locks on top.

"Don't you dare", you mutter under your breath before pulling at his neck until he meets your lips. He's too stunned, forgetting to move for a moment before you feel him return the kiss with equal enthusiasm, hands sliding to wrap around your waist, pulling you impossibly close.

You aren't sure when you made your way to the couch, but you find yourself sitting in his lap, running your fingers through his hair as you bite at his perfectly plump bottom lip. Your tongues tease one another with each kiss as your skin ignites underneath the touch of his hands as he runs them through your hair, over your back and down to your hips.

The two of you finally come up for air. You look into his eyes, tracing his jaw with your fingertips before speaking up, "we should probably..."

"Yeah" he nods in agreement.

You slip off his lap and cuddle up into his side as he wraps his arms around you. You both sigh in contentment. You had talked about your boundaries together, and had agreed to take it slow. It was difficult. It was an outdated notion, but it's what was best for you and he respected that completely.

"Look at us making out on the couch, we're like two overly hormonal teenagers," you can't hold in a giggle as you awkwardly hide your face in your hands.

You feel him tug at your wrists as he tries to look you in the eyes.

"Yeah about that, what got into you huh?" He bites his lip as he tries to hide a smirk, showing just how much he enjoyed it.

Your gaze drifts back to his hair. "Don't laugh at me okay?"

He puts on a serious expression but you can see he's already trying to hide a smile behind it.

"You know I loved your long hair right? It looked so good. And you've always been attractive to me. Never doubt that. But this..." You slip your fingers back into the longer hair on top, biting down on your lip to keep your smile form growing too big. "This is so incredibly hot! You are officially way out of my league Spencer Reid. I mean, more so than before. You're like...male model material!"

You can see the disbelief in his eyes but he still smiles and blushes at your gushing.

"Cut it out! Be serious, do you really like it?"

You hold his face in your hand, turning it towards you as you lean impossibly close, never once breaking eye contact.

"I am being deadly serious. I already showed you how I feel about it. But if you've forgotten I might have to remind you."

His blush deepened by about ten shades of red as he looked up with you with his classic boyish smile. Same old adorable Spencer. You opt for leaving a small kiss on his nose, and he looks at you with all the admiration in the world before leaning back over to nuzzle his nose against yours. He knows you love this. You're not sure why you enjoy it so much, but something about it feel so incredibly intimate.

You hum contently, enjoying the feeling as you take in the comforting smell of winter spices and pine. He had started picking out cologne that he knew you would enjoy. You had even sprayed some of it on his sweaters that you had stolen.

He wraps the two of you up in a blanket. The only sound in the room is the crackling of the fire you had lit not long before he came over. You stay nuzzled up together, not speaking, not kissing, just enjoying being with one another.

You open your eyes to look at him, and his eyes are closed as a smile of pure bliss graces his features.

“Y/N I..."

His eyes shoot open and he looks as though something has just startled him, despite there being no other sound than that of his own voice. He stands up, walking across the room before grabbing the remote and returning to your side.

"I-I...think we should watch a movie or something. Ya know? First Christmas movie of the season." He sounds so nervous and it breaks your heart. You wish he could read his mind, and make everything better. But you know not to push him. He always opens up when he's ready. You smile and nod. It's not a bad idea after all.

You convinced him to watch one of your family's favorites "A Christmas Story". He found himself laughing along with you at some of the funny but ridiculous moments: Flick getting his tongue stuck to the pole, the father receiving his leg lamp award, the duck for Christmas dinner.

You find your mind drifting to how much you want a family of your own. You hadn't discussed it with Spencer. He may not even want kids. You had purposefully avoided more serious topics in hopes that Spencer would stay. You couldn't risk losing him. But if he was going to be around for the long haul, shouldn't you make sure the two of you want the same things? You've seen how good he is with Henry, and it melts your heart every time. He really would be a wonderful father.

You're staring at him as the thoughts run through your head. For some reason, your mouth decided to speak without asking your brain for permission.

"Do you want kids?" The words are out before you can stop them. Your hand covers your mouth in hopes of shoving them back in, but its too late. You feel absolutely humiliated and terrified. You've done it. You've ruined this. He's going to run for the hills.

Except he doesn't. Instead he turns to look at you, a bright smile on his face. "Of course! Without a doubt. "

You feel yourself let go of the breath you hadn't realized you were holding as relief washes over you like a warm shower. He reaches over, intertwining his fingers with yours and slowly rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand.

"Do you?"

"Yeah. I didn't know if it was too early to talk about but I do... I really really do."

He places a kiss on top of your head before pulling you in closer as both of you turn your attention back to the movie. You knew that was all that needed to be said, for now. It was enough to know he wanted a family as much as you do. And you hoped that he could see that future with you in it.

_____________________________________________________________

It's your last day of work before your long awaited trip to Orlando with Spencer. You can't wait to finally take him to one of your favorite places. He loves Harry Potter almost as much as you do. And you already know he would appreciate all the small details that had been placed amongst the stores and rides. You look forward to hearing every single fact he can possibly share about each ride as you wait in the lines. You know you won't be bored for a single moment as long as he is by your side.

After putting on a clean pair of scrubs, you get in the car and begin your drive to work, soft Christmas music playing in the background as you hum along.

You make it all the way to 2PM before finding the time to take a lunch break. You decide to wander down to the cafeteria in the basement of the hospital, putting in your ear buds while the elevator makes its way down.

You hear your work phone make the familiar sound, letting you know it's out of range. This is always a relief, seeing as you won't be constantly bothered while you wait in line to order your food. It's always short lived, the beeps and calls returning the second you return to the floor with lunch, but you'll take any kind of break you can get.

While waiting in line, your mind wanders to the conversation between you and Spencer the night before. It was short, but the look in his eyes told you more than his words ever could. He truly cared about you. And you really believe he saw a long future with you.

As you make your way through the empty back halls leading to the elevator, you can hear an announcement being made over the speaks, though you can't make it out over the sound of your music. Another code blue in the CCU most likely.

You walk over to your spot at the nursing desk to pick up your water bottle. It isn't until you take out your ear buds that you realize how eerily quiet the floor is. Quiet. It's like a curse word in hospitals. Saying it will certainly bring on immediate doom.

You make your way around the floor. All of the patient doors are closed, as are the doors separating A and B side. The announcement must have been for another fire drill. It's just protocol. You continue to make your way down the hall looking for any other the nurses. The doctors. Therapists. Techs? It's a weekday. The floor should be like rush hour. Instead it feels like a ghost town, aside from the patients lying in bed in their rooms.

You get an unsettling feeling in your stomach. Your pace picks up as your search for anyone else turns into more of a panic.

Before you can enter into the staff breakroom, a chill runs up the back of your neck.

"Nurse Y/L/N."

You turn to see a family member of one of your former patients.

"Mr. Gray what are you doing here? Is everything okay? Do you need help finding someone?"

"I was looking for someone. But I just found her."

His voice is stone cold. Your eyes are locked on the movement of his hand has he raises it, revealing a gun that is now pointed directly at your head. He's only a few feet away. He's not close enough for you to hurt him in anyway or surprise him enough to run away. He's not so far that he could possibly miss if he pulled the trigger.

You work to slow your breathing and you feel your emotions switch off, allowing you to focus on sharpening your thoughts in the moment.

"If you need to talk to me, we can do that. Let's just sit down and talk ok?"

"NO! You've talked enough. My wife is dead because of you. You watched her die. You didn't help her. I lost the love of my life and it's all your fault."

He steps forward, leaning so close that you can feel his breath against your ear before he whispers "and now you're going to pay."

Your mind is racing as he grabs your wrist shoving you forward. You feel the steel of the gun on the back of your head as he orders you where to turn, leading you through several doors and hallways.

They would have called the police by now right? That must have been what that announcement was, some kind of lock down. They have to know. That's why you couldn't find anyone. That means help is on the way. But what if they don't find him in time? Find you in time?

In time for what you don't even know. He probably wanted to kill you. But if he only wanted to kill you on site he would have done it already. It's the way he's ordering you around, leading you to a second location that makes your stomach turn. What could he possibly do that's worse than death? You don't want to think about it. Poor Spencer has to. He deals with this every day at work. Spencer...Spencer!

You need him here. Silently in your mind you pray that he would find you and save you before you could be in any real danger.

Mr. Gray opens a door to a patient room, and pulls the blinds shut, keeping the gun trained on you the entire time. You look for something, anything that can help you. Spencer would know what to do. He would know how to get out of this. But you. You're just a nurse, with no FBI training. And you feel truly helpless.

"Get on the bed!" He yells. You feel like you could be sick. Tears threaten to break through, but you're determined not to show any signs of fear to this psycho.

"Now!" He raises his voice even louder as he presses the gun against your forehead.

You reluctantly lay down on the hospital bed, refusing to look anything but incredibly pissed off. Truthfully, you are mortified. You want to scream, yell, cry, but you don't make a sound.

He sets the gun down and pulls out some restraints usually kept in the hospital supply room, and he begins to tie your wrists and ankles to the bed. Then he pulls out a knife, dragging it along your jaw and down your neck, before placing it right above your heart.

He leans down to whisper "One wrong move and I will slice you up into little pieces."

You feel your body tense as you fight off every natural reaction to cry or scream. Instead you spit in his face.

He wipes it off with nothing but a smug grin on his face. He knows no matter what you do, he still has total control in this situation.

The knife makes its way down, and you hear the ripping of fabric as he cuts through your scrubs. Your muscles tighten at the sting of the cool air. Your eyes clench shut as he drag the blade up the inside of your thigh, just deep enough to break the skin. You soon feel the dribble of blood running down your skin, but this is far from over. He continues in this manner, leaving cuts on your legs, your stomach, your chest, anywhere that felt too intimate to be touched by a stranger.

Tears have broken through and are streaming down your face but you remain silent. You are determined to not give him the satisfaction of begging. You try not to think about the scars that will remain, unsure if you will even make it out of this room alive.

A hand slips inside your underwear and you try to close your eyes even more, hoping to block out every possible sensation. In your mind you are anywhere but here. You're curled up on the couch, watching the fire, Spencer by your side. Spencer, who would protect you at all costs. Spencer who you love.

You are snapped back to reality by the sharp pain in your lower abdomen. Your eyes fly open to the blade sinking into your skin. And the blood, so much blood.  You can't hold back any more. Tears are pouring out as you call for help. You scream in pain. You scream so loud that it physically hurts. You scream until you lose every last ounce of energy within you. You call his name over and over, willing him to appear in front of you, if only to see him one last time before you slip into the darkness that is slowly taking hold of you.

"Spencer..."

A/N: So I included a pretty serious topic in this chapter. I know it seems like it kinda came out of no where. But I want anyone who has experienced sexual assault of any kind to know they are not alone. It is not your fault. And it is okay to call it what it is. Don't let anyone, including the little voice inside your head convince you that it is no big deal. It's okay to ask for help. It's better if you do. This doesn't have to be a friend or a parent if you're not comfortable with that. I have included the national sexual assault help line as well as the suicide help line and some other links. Never be ashamed to seek help. It takes a lot of strength. 

Also, any of you who need to talk to me about anything are more than welcome to message me. I am here for you always.

Thanks for your support in reading my story, I love you all!

Fairytales1896 aka Spencer’s Dria

Resources:

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE (4673

https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline

Human Trafficking Hotline:  1-888-373-7888

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

[punkscowardschampions]

Liam & Edie

Liam: [alright so she’s gonna get there super early so the first question is do we want any kind of interaction with his poor mother first or do we save that for later]

Edie: [In my head it’s literally early enough that she could still be asleep but also if it’s the week ‘cos summer, she COULD be going to work, unless she does a moomin and takes it off, so I’m easy with either]

Liam: [yeah I was thinking like it’s technically day 5 but it’s early enough of an arrival you could call it day 4 because we’re extra, so she probably would be asleep but equally, she could’ve woken up early to say happy bday and all that before she has to go to work because I feel like she’d wanna take the day off but he’d be essentially like nah don’t I’ll see you later 1. Because Edie is coming and 2. Because fuck birthdays anyway even before we knew that was a thing that’d be happening]

Liam: [maybe it’s like she was gonna go in and wake him up but surprise we’re already up and chilling in our dead sister’s room and surprise x2 Edie is already here hello]

Edie: [your poor mother, so shooketh, so not prepared for this, at least Edie will be being polite to you because we wanna make a good first impression and we’re not a dick but we are still weird and here at like the arse crack of dawn so hi]

Liam: [at least for our plot purposes she’ll be too caught unawares to spoil the bday secret because up til now his phone wouldn’t be popping off too hard as it’s early and normal people are asleep]

Edie: [can we just take a moment to think about the fact this is the first time actually meeting each other]

Liam: [it blows my mind when I do think about it, honestly, I need to know all about her lewk please because we know how excited you’d be about this gal]

Edie: [I will have to find one because yes, you’ve gotta do your most to be cute]

Liam: [I care very much what colour your hair is and how hard you’re serving even though I know damn well all you’ve done so far is sit on his sister’s floor and talk and talk and TALK because not an exaggeration at all to say he wants to know everything about her, that’s his intense brand]

Liam: [but also what time does the sun come up in late August? Would that be too early to say she arrived before then so they can watch it together like they did the comet]

Edie: [we know we’d show up whenever, try and stop us famalam, so yes that’s definitely a thing we can say happens, I hope you live near-ish though or what time are you setting off from yours hen]

Liam: [ngl if she showed up at 3 or 4am I wouldn’t be surprised and he wouldn’t mind so fill your boots kids, we can totally say he lives close because that isn’t something we’ve given an Ali kid before and like I can see his parents being like the country air and peace and quiet etc will totally help our dying child, as if this is victorian times or whatever]

Edie: [tbf cities are grubby i’m sorrrrrrrrryyy anyway, love that for you, you can live on a busy bit of the countryside, a nice cul-de-sac mayhaps, at least you won’t get murdered lurking in the dark]

Liam: [get on zoopla and find us a cute gaff boo]

Edie: [heheheheh, okay so we know how we’re starting our day, what’s next]

Liam: [I think we’ve just gotta run this and see what pops up as we’re pondering cos y’all are wild could be anything going on, bye to his mum go get ready for work and then go gal you can do some bday cliches when you get back at like 4, Edie’ll know by then, so once his mum has swiftly excited just 👀 because even if you’ve got no feelings it’s super cute that she wants to make a good impression]

Edie: [just smiley blush like what, not commenting on his ma yet ‘cos she didn’t have time to really make an impression so we don’t need to do that ‘can’t have her changing her mind about loving the idea already’]

Liam: [get a bit closer to her so you can look at her even more intensely because she’s being even cuter with her lil blush and smile moment and this was such a good idea thank god ‘don’t change yours either’]

Edie: [just shaking our head hardcore ‘cos can’t speak suddenly]

Liam: [‘she’s not Lexie levels but still off putting, I know’ soz to his poor mum for vaguely giving a shit haha]

Edie: [‘you’ve not met mine’ like probably has on the low but shh the point is we know what all mums are like, in one way or another, ‘yet’ very much implying we cannot be put off tah]

Liam: [‘can I?’ has only just met you and wants to meet your mum, what boy in what universe would ever want that 🚩]

Edie: [my boo says run she says no, nod as enthusiastically purely ‘cos he wants to and we will not be saying no to anything]

Liam: [get even closer to her obvs because she just keeps being adorable with her enthusiasm and he’s obvs about it, just gonna be 👀 a mm away from her face in a sec]

Edie: [at least you can gently pull on the necklace he should be wearing ‘cos sent in the post]

Liam: [and you can kiss better wherever she got hers from even though it’s gonna be healed by now like she made you do at the time]

Edie: [genuinely wasn’t trying to be that bitch but I just googled where heals fastest when cut ‘cos that bitch and he didn’t want pain and bloody drama so and it literally said the mouth LMAO soz Liam I don’t make the rules-]

Liam: [soz not soz that you’re having your first kiss then lads]

Edie: [it’s kinda sweet that you aren’t like, actually kissing, if you know what I mean, like it’s about something else]

Liam: [it’s very pure and very your energy as a couple]

Edie: [you’ll be dying girl but that’s a moment]

Liam: [he genuinely would ask her if she/that was okay because we know she’s not had a boyfriend before because Rio would not stop hammering that point home]

Edie: [we’re so obviously more than okay but likewise not trying to be like OTT and put pressure on him because we’ve been told what Lexie was like, just smile and nod]

Liam: [pull her to her feet and to your room because we’ve not been in there yet but y’all are gonna find this robot dog]

Edie: [get to go through all his childhood things lowkey love that for yous just asking all the questions]

Liam: [and we’re definitely giving it to you which is another moment because he loved it]

Edie: [we’ve gotta pimp that pup up somehow, which is within your wheelhouse deffo ‘what’s he called?’]

Liam: [‘Chip’ and a face like yeah I know I was a kid byeee]

Edie: [just loving on it like a real dog, ‘I fucked with the beast’ ‘cos of course you did lmao]

Liam: [he’s as amused as I was when I read that because of course she did is right, clearly gonna put that film on for her]

Edie: [love that childlike energy for you too, definitely raiding for the good snacks even though it’s so early because why not sugar rush]

Liam: [same because we all know he didn’t get a chill childhood, at least there would be great snacks in because it being his bday and his mum hoping she can rock a birthday tea vibe on the low]

Edie: [sneaky bday energy, god bless, just find out what each others faves are]

Liam: [taking so many cute pics and vids during all this, be jealous everyone]

Edie: [I do have cute bed ones so have a duvet day until the notifs come in]

Liam: [gives him a reason for his phone to be blowing up but that’s not why we’re doing it, he’s just obsessed with the bae’s happiness]

Edie: [I can send them to you if you like]

Liam: [please do]

Edie: [at least you can take his phone under the assumption of taking a picture of him because he’s taken loads of you]

Liam: [and he’s not gonna stop you because he’s not stupid enough to have anything incriminating about stalking your sister on there and obvs isn’t thinking about it being his bday]

Edie: [awkward when you don’t wanna be like oh it’s your birthday but you can’t not be like that because then you’d be acting weird, just pull up whoever’s said happy bday latest like hey but soft]

Liam: [such a genuine shrug like oh yeah that idc]

Edie: [‘why didn’t you tell me?’ but without the 🥺 tone, genuine asking]

Liam: [‘I didn’t want you to know’ true but then you realise how it sounds so ‘it’s pressure on you and it don’t matter to me’]

Edie: [when there is nothing you can say to that but ‘fair enough’ because it is and we’re not gonna force it into a Big Thing ™ ‘we’re still having fun though’ because y’all are that’s facts]

Liam: [‘I can’t remember a birthday this about me’ because we can’t say he’s never had a fun bday ever but he’s never been the centre of attention ‘it is enough, and fun, having you here’]

Edie: [‘that is pressure… without anyone else taking any of the focus at all’ ‘cos we have plenty of siblings so we know what he’s saying, nothing is entirely about you when there’s other kids to still care about, make the robo dog kiss his cheek ‘it can be as fun as you like, and we can stay in all day, or go out too, it’s all up to you’]

Liam: [kiss her on the cheek thank you boy because she’s being a babe]

Edie: [🥰 look as we get up ‘what’s your favourite breakfast?’ like let’s go make that happen]

Liam: [I’m gonna say his fave is a full english/irish because when does anyone ever have the time or energy for all that faff so we can make you feel special here boy]

Edie: [giving you 2 options like we can make it here for you and that could include a shop dash to get all the bits which would be cute OR we can go to a cafe and get it and dine and dash which would also be cute]

Liam: [under duress I am voting for dine and dash because it feels very them and we’ll have loads of time to be domestic when they’re squatting in the holiday cottage etc]

Edie: [then let’s ride lads, the greasiest spoon we can find please]

Liam: [forever a mood]

Edie: [have a cute handhold as you walk, also enjoy the height difference imagine]

Liam: [don’t even I can’t fathom how tall he is, it’s crazy]

Edie: [love that you’re taller than our dad, taller than Buster, flex on ‘em babe you got that reach, it’s very much that picture of ariana and pete ‘cos that’s about y’alls heights lol]

Liam: [not to be that bitch but you would feel so safe and protected like I do get it]

Edie: [and I’m sorry but if you’re even a slightly curvier gal you can’t be with a small lad you feel like you’ll break them lmao]

Liam: [so many gals salty as hell at you rn Edie so soz]

Edie: [you love to see it, don’t get too close or we will fuck you up hens]

Liam: [I’m trying to think if there’s anything else cool they could do while they’re out cos I wanna keep the vibe chill but]

Edie: [we could go to the beach today, or we could find another thing for the ‘main event’ without being like this is what you’re doing for your bday highkey, perhaps something typical childhood birthday like bowling or laser tag that kind of energy]

Liam: [sadly you’re too much a giant to sneak into soft play]

Edie: [yes they usually have an age limit of 10-12 if memory serves and there’s no believing that lmao, although we could force the twins to go at a later date and go in with them]

Liam: [we’ll definitely give you another chance to go]

Edie: [okay so getting a bouncy castle to just put up and then we’re also having jelly and ice cream]

Liam: [green jelly is the best so you can pop off with 👽]

Edie: [i’m gonna try to find vibes deffo]

Liam: [actually love that you’ve gone from hanging out in his house to hanging out in a field and it’s the best birthday he’s had probably ever]

Liam: [kinda wanna let y’all have your first kiss on the bouncy castle but kinda have had that ruined for us by skins]

Edie: [#reclaimit and like, as much as y’all just having a good ass time getting to know each other, the casual tension still]

Liam: [it’s very much NOT a platonic good time and we all know it]

Edie: [we are not here to deny what’s here tah]

Liam: [only question is how far we’re taking it because y’all could hook up on it but you could also not]

Edie: [hmm, on the one hand, we absolutely would ‘cos wanna but on the other, I can see y’all making a slightly bigger thing out of it without you know, lighting candles lol, but you get me]

Liam: [same actually because you’re very romantic]

Edie: [right? Like it’ll deffo be in your way still but it’s your first time both of yas so you can make a thing of it if you bloody well like]

Liam: [and no shade to anyone because I’m not saying they should but not enough of our ships do make it a thing™️ because they just carried away by their feels and hormones lol, he has that degree of restraint, albeit for a sad reason so you might as well use it]

Edie: [no wonder you get so caught up in this babe, casual fairytale]

Liam: [me too gurl, me too, casually too invested in this doomed couple nbd]

Edie: [so sad, soz guys we’re rude]

Liam: [anything else cute we wanna do before your mum gets back and makes you do the cliche bday cake moment and you can get the bae to blow out your candles with you because have all the wishes my love]

Edie: [I think this gives us a good framework for how it’s gonna go, lots of cuteness, doing the least but making it the most]

Liam: [thank god it’s still summer so nobody can force you back home because you’ll both be gutted]

Edie: [fight us fam we clearly aren’t going anywhere, I like to think you got something for his mum whilst out even though it’s probably a bottle of wine neither of you can buy so bit cheeky but still cute]

Liam: [that’s adorable af, his mum can’t be mad we know she knows him and his sister did a lot worse, even if she doesn’t know it all but what does make me laugh is that she’d blatantly not let Edie stay the night because of how obvs underage she is and it’s like oh hun we’ve had many many opportunities to hook up all day but sure]

Edie: [love when parents draw that line, like this is why teens hook up in cars and anywhere else they can, also tis possible in daylight but god bless you for trying hun]

Liam: [so many parents do and there’s literally so many worse things he could be doing and in Liam’s case has done but pop off]

Edie: [oh when this baby is announced lmao sozzzzzzz]

Liam: [she’s gonna be UPSET, but in the now you can walk her home and that’s always cute af]

Edie: [so gentlemanly, also gonna bring you in impromptu to meet Ali like hello mother]

Liam: [the levels he’d just wanna stay because technically not breaking the rules to be over at the cali gaff but contrary to what I just said about baby Libi he doesn’t actually wanna upset his mum so he wouldn’t]

Edie: [we’ll let you be good today, of all days, let me post my ting and know the last pic is like now in a miss you already way]

Liam: [I’m cackling imagining Grace appearing like the extra child she is]

Edie: [curtain-twitching like a baby nosy hoe, I lol]

Liam: [thank god Lexie isn’t really crazy or you’d have to look out for her being at the window too]

Edie: [we ain’t afraid of you it’s definitely the other way round rn]

Liam: [hilarious considering how pure you’ve been all day]

Edie: tell me when you get home

Liam: I don’t want to get home

Edie: If you go somewhere I have to come

Liam: I know 😇 I promise

Liam: I’ll come back for you when it’s a new day

Edie: I’m not wishing this one away, I didn’t

Edie: I don’t want it to end

Liam: me either, but no spoilers or the wish will glitch and we won’t get what we did ask for

Edie: 😶

Edie: and we’ve got to follow the rules or you’ll turn into a 🎃 tonight

Liam: a massive me sized 🎃 do you think or one you could carry round

Edie: I could live in a you sized 🎃 but I’m not sure how comfortable that would be for you

Edie: but what if I dropped you if you were normal sized 😭

Liam: I’ve seen you on a bouncy castle, you’re not clumsy

Edie: despite your best attempts to floor me

Liam: you gave as good

Edie: yeah

Edie: I hope so

Liam: there was no cracking under the pressure

Edie: then you’ll have me back

Edie: and kiss me again

Liam: we can go back for as long as it stays up, then I’ll kiss you somewhere else

Edie: please

Edie: and you felt it

Edie: the kiss, it was more than nothing

Liam: I wouldn't have done it if it was nothing, how I know you feel is important and I'm not gonna hurt you

Edie: I know

Edie: I trust you

Edie: I’m just being annoying trying to make you say it

Liam: you couldn’t annoy me if you was trying, I’m on too big of a high from meeting you

Edie: I had the best day

Liam: I’ve gotta say thanks for today, meaning tomorrow’ll have an edge on it for being all about what you wanna do instead of me getting older

Edie: you don’t

Edie: it was mutual

Edie: you even let me help you blow out your candles

Liam: if I didn’t it’s 🎂 wasted you gave me the best 🎁 by being there, right before you were I still thought you might not show

Edie: a tiny part of me wasn’t sure

Edie: what if it messed everything we’d built up

Edie: but it didn’t

Liam: yeah, that was on my mind too, I’m either too much or not enough when I can’t moderate it how I do online, faker than my 🦎🧠 has got me used to acting, and found out for it sooner

Liam: but it wasn’t like that today

Edie: it’s easier when you can code the best response

Edie: put whatever skin on it works best in that moment

Edie: but this was better than anything I’ve made or seen in cyberspace so far

Liam: your fave 🤖 is a compliment I'll take any time, like

Edie: don’t tell Chip

Liam: he’s got more to rub in my face, he got to stay, I wouldn’t start it

Edie: [pic of him tucked up casually]

Edie: bit smug, tbh

Liam: in the world we just woke him up from I could be 💔😭 he’ll have to try harder now

Edie: [a pic of him up on her titties like mr steal yo gurl]

Edie: 😱😱

Edie: I’m gonna need to train him

Liam: I remember him as naughtier than me

Edie: checks out

Edie: you’re very 😇

Liam: if it was up to him you’d be sleeping on the bouncy castle together, however many rules it breaks

Edie: I think it’d be cosy

Edie: tomorrow though, we can have a nap

Liam: waiting until my ma falls asleep and I can sneak out, it’d be tomorrow

Edie: it’s not breaking the rules, if you’re sure

Edie: you can leave a note for when she wakes up

Liam: if you are, we’re doing what you want

Edie: obviously I want to

Liam: have to keep you up half the night first

Edie: you’d already done that without trying

Edie: but I’m not turning down more

Liam: me or the beast 😏

Edie: I’m not saying you’re covered in brown fur

Edie: but you are that big so

Edie: little column A little column B 😏

Liam: I’ll check the coat cupboard, might get me closer to ticking both boxes for you

Edie: 😂

Edie: you tick every box, you don’t need to kidnap my dad to make that happen

Liam: don’t be so quick to say no to something I know you’d like

Edie: 😍 okay, only if we see him on the way

Edie: tomorrow ain’t about him

Liam: 🎼

Liam: I should’ve got you to sing something other than happy birthday, lock my ma in as part of your fan club

Edie: karaoke night 👩‍🎤👨‍🎤

Liam: she’d have your arm off, to take you up on the idea and to take the 🎤 off you for her turn

Edie: I’ll bring the machine and plenty of 90s bops

Liam: what would your first pick be

Edie: 🤔

Edie: I’d have to pick My Heart Will Go On to win your ma over, obviously

Edie: assuming she’s not fuming I’ve stolen it

Liam: too 😤 at the ending as if everyone don’t know the boat sinks and loads of people die

Liam: go for the Whitney song, the film’s got a lower body count

Edie: just poor Whit IRL

Edie: 😎 he’s no beast but

Liam: you don’t want no posh 🤴 sort over a handworking lad who keeps coming through for you, I keep saying you’re smart

Edie: makes my motives sound a bit evil

Edie: nothing but true ❤️ works remember

Liam: but you wouldn’t fall in love with someone you’ve got nothing in common with, there’d be no connection

Edie: true

Liam: I’d never call out your motives as evil, even a bit

Edie: you can if I am ever 👻👺🧙‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧛‍♀️👹💀 to you

Liam: that’s more far fetched than you and 🤴

Edie: who did you have a crush on as a kid

Liam: 🧚

Edie: Good choice

Liam: - as many points off as deserved for Lexie and I’ve still got proven good taste

Edie: I get it

Edie: I can see the appeal

Liam: being able to fly is enough of one

Edie: She looks like she might 🎯 a bitch for you but she’s the Wendy really

Liam: there's no appeal to Lex and no need to try and find it

Edie: 🏹🏹🏹💘

Edie: She’s 💀 to us

Liam: and soon to the rest of her mates including your sister

Edie: I hadn’t thought about her all day

Edie: Or anyone else

Edie: just you

Liam: you don't have to think about her ever again

Edie: I won’t show up and 😭 at her ⚰️🪦 when we bury her

Edie: We’ve got plans

Liam: I only mentioned her at all as a - bc you're such a massive + but I probably should've said that without her name being dropped in

Edie: nah, not even mentioning her is gonna affect how +++ this all is

Liam: it makes me seem like I've got her on my mind though and I don't want you to think I do

Edie: you can tell me what really is then

Edie: even if that’s tinkerbell

Edie: or that fry-up still

Liam: you are, and when my ma is gonna go the fuck to bed so I can kiss you again

Edie: I can feel the 👻 of you, your lips touching mine and where your hands were and where I wanted them to be next

Edie: it’s making me wish I were 🧚 so I could find a drowsiness potion to give her or just sprinkle some pixie dust on you so you could fly in my window right now

Edie: weren’t my 🎂 wish though, no spoilers ever 🤐

Edie: I could kiss you all night

Edie: And all day

Edie: But I have got other things we can do, even though it’s my day tomorrow, can’t be that selfish

Liam: not kissing all day or all night if that’s what you’ve decided but long enough for my hands to go where you wanted them next, yeah? i’d say it’d more be selfish if you didn’t share the complete thought with me

Edie: You don’t know exactly what I want?

Edie: It felt like you knew to me

Liam: it sounds better if I say I don’t and get it right instead of saying I do and getting it wrong

Edie: You haven’t got any of this wrong, trust me

Liam: honestly didn’t feel like I had but my instincts ain’t as easy to trust as you are

Edie: I promise I’ll tell you if you ever do

Edie: but you aren’t going to

Liam: that’s the connection I was going on about before, useful for the beginning, middle and the happy ending

Edie: You’re better than any lad in any film

Liam: you’re all I wanna see on film

Edie: bring a 📹

Liam: look for the ⏺️ light flashing in your window

Edie: like a 🌠

Liam: and ⏰ which won’t trigger 🚨 before we can get you out

Edie: I have had previous experience sneaking out, even if not to meet boys

Edie: that bit, I can do

Liam: there’s shit you can’t do, don’t believe that bit for a sec

Edie: 😏 you know

Edie: as my sister tried to make me sound like a total child

Liam: she knows you different to me, you’re a separate person to her than how you exist when we’re together

Edie: yeah

Edie: that’s how she likes to keep us, still about 7 in her head

Liam: my sister went the other way, she wasn’t waiting round for me to grow up when she could tell me to hurry up and do x z or z thing with her

Edie: it’s cool, that she didn’t treat you like an incapable kid

Edie: better, anyway, right?

Liam: but sometimes I wish she’d let me be one, it don’t matter, you can’t turn round like not today I wanna go to the park with my mates, not with lads I already knew were gonna be gone long before her, not to do fuck all instead of a crazy scheme

Edie: being ‘grown’ is only fun if it’s how you wanna do it, that’s definitely the main draw of not being a kid, doing exactly what you want and when

Edie: less shine if it isn’t your scheme

Liam: I think it’d be 🌟✨ to be looked after, but I get it’d fade for me if I had a sister like yours

Edie: you already charmed her, she’ll extend the courtesy to you now too I bet

Liam: it’s too late for me to start living like that

Edie: not if you want it

Edie: we can do it

Liam: I ain’t had a family in so long, I dunno if I could do it

Edie: we don’t need mine

Edie: we can have our own

Liam: can we

Edie: yes

Edie: and we can do anything and everything you missed out on

Liam: what happens if nothing changes and I’m stuck as a 🤖

Edie: if that happens then a baby won’t

Liam: and you’ll have to leave

Edie: no

Liam: I’m not taking no for an answer or asking anyone to love me if I can’t love them back

Edie: I can do it

Liam: your ++++ can’t make up for such a massive - in me

Edie: don’t give in yet

Edie: we have nothing but time

Liam: I’m saying it before I give in to you and believe we can do this

Edie: okay

Edie: I am listening

Liam: I’m not dying, I don’t get to be as selfish as my sister and I wanna care more than my parents

Edie: I love that about you

Edie: not enough people give a shit about anyone who isn’t themselves

Edie: or act like they’re a saint if the list includes the person they’re fucking too

Liam: we can’t do things just to try and force me to feel, even though I want to

Edie: it’s up to you

Edie: all of it

Edie: I don’t want to force you to do anything

Liam: it’s not, it’s equally up to you

Edie: Kinda

Edie: but I already feel things for you

Liam: I’m not gonna let your feelings force you to do anything same as you’re not gonna let what I don’t do it for me

Edie: I won’t let this fail

Liam: me either

Edie: does 16 feel any different

Liam: only bc of how I celebrated it

Edie: well I like that 🥰

Edie: I’m getting you a gift, just give me time

Liam: you’ve given me loads of 🎁🎁

Edie: nothing I could tie up with a bow

Liam: you could do a 🎀 in your hair before you come out, but it probably won’t help with your sister thinking you’re a kid still

Edie: 🤞 she shouldn’t be seeing me

Liam: or the 📹 footage of you 👧🏼

Edie: not for her 👀

Edie: or anyone else’s if we decide

Liam: if they’ve not had their fix of you today that’s their 💔

Edie: I’m for you

Liam: I’m buzzing not to be afraid of that, maybe normal is overrated this time

Edie: maybe it’s just scary

Liam: you’re not

Edie: 👺

Liam: you’re 🔥 people are scared of it but it’s not about you, it’s a them thing

Edie: I could cry

Edie: again

Edie: I’ll burn it all down

Liam: you’ve been crying

Edie: only happy crying

Liam: you nearly did force a fear response there for a sec

Edie: I didn’t mean to baby

Liam: I know, it was a me thing too

Edie: how’d it feel though, as it nearly happened

Liam: I was about to leave and make sure you were alright, I forgot about happy crying

Edie: 🚨🚨🚨

Edie: I can’t remember the last time I felt that, actually

Liam: it’s the kind of day for it, I can’t remember spending this much time with someone and thinking it wasn’t enough

Edie: Me either

Edie: I usually zone out after a sentence or two

Edie: it’s enough to know we have nothing worth discussing

Edie: sounds fake, how hard I’ve gone here, but I never care enough

Liam: it’d sound fake how hard I relate to not giving a fuck about anyone or anything in years before this

Edie: people reckon it’d be freeing, not relating, not being connected to anyone else

Edie: and I guess it is

Edie: but it’s boring before it’s anything else

Liam: and I’d come across as certifiably crazy if I tried to explain what walking round as me with everyone else seeming so unreal was like

Edie: people are idiots

Edie: they wouldn’t take the time to get it

Edie: just take it as a 🔫 admission or some shit

Liam: they’d only take the time to feel bad for me, I’m down for no more of that as long as I live

Edie: fuck that shit

Liam: yeah

Edie: when school starts, we’re gonna fuck shit up

Edie: without a 🔫

Liam: we should go in the night before

Edie: dedicated 😍

Liam: not saying I’ve got my ear to my ma’s door at the minute bc that’d be weird but I am, yeah

Edie: if you want something to listen to

Edie: [a song that’s clearly about today]

Liam: if you wanna hear a review I’m gonna need longer than it clearly took you to write that

Liam: I seriously don’t know what to say

Edie: it’d sound pretentious to say I think in lyrics but there’s always a tune in my head so

Edie: when you’re as inspiring as you are

Liam: when I can finally get out of here I know exactly what to do, putting words to my reaction to you being everything you are can wait

Edie: I’ll do my best to wait

Edie: but that sounds 🥴

Liam: I’m not waiting, I’ll make sure she don’t hear me go

Edie: I believe in you 😶

Liam: [obvs do that and show up to her window because we all know you can and it wouldn’t take you very long]

Edie: [question is are you ground floor music room or your room and Billie better be asleep lmao]

Liam: [how do you want it boo cos both are moods]

Edie: [I say go for your room so you have to climb and you have to control your excitement ‘til you too are out of the window]

Liam: [soz that he is gonna kiss you literally immediately though like as he’s coming through the window so you really are gonna have to control your excitement gal and also your volume]

Edie: [good luck with that sweetie, love this for you two]

Liam: [just fully making out rn nbd]

Edie: [sorry we must literally]

Liam: [do leave before you wake Billie up though lads]

Edie: [you gotta because we do not have that much chill to get any further than this]

Liam: [it’s been an overwhelming af day we’ll allow the lack of chill and get you away from the fam]

Edie: [run babies run, we’re so 😍]

Liam: [get back to the bouncy castle because y’all are 10000% those bitches who would legit kiss for hours just for the joy of it]

Edie: [you’ll be dying but in the best way]

Liam: [like who else is gonna be fully savouring this bit for what it is and how it feels in its own right, we know it’s you]

Edie: [you’ve been feeling fuck all, you deserve it, we will be putting across as much]

Liam: [and she’s never felt like this before either so we don’t need to be rushing anything rn or ever]

Edie: [exactly, ugh, so cute, you definitely brought a blanket before you ran]

Liam: [the adorable snuggles you can have bye]

Edie: [‘this was the best day ever’ so sincerely]

Liam: [just nod because we very much agree to a speechless level]

Edie: [sing to him IRL but not in a cringe way lol, a chill one]

Liam: [that is everything though]

Edie: [just that happy soz]

Liam: [not at all soz]

Edie: [what a time, deffo think one of you should get in a bit of trouble for being out right now, even if they can’t find you ‘til they do, like either his mum or someone in cali gaff wakes up like hello?]

Liam: [maybe his mum because it do be her rule and she do be extra rn in terms of her emotions and realistically even if Billie did wake up she’s not gonna dob you in]

Edie: [seems legit, how would he wanna deal, ‘cos his phone can be blowing up as soon as she realises]

Liam: [sadly he’s probably gonna have to go back because he’s not ever a fuck you mum kinda bitch, unlike 99% of the other characters lol, but he’d be leaving it as long as he could]

Edie: [we understand even if this back and forth is a trip, the bouncy castle was nearby so you’re fine]

Liam: [it would be very obvious at least that he does NOT want to go, so he’s not just messing you about intentionally gal]

Edie: [whatever we might be thinking, we know it’s not that energy like you’re not a fuckboy tah everyone]

Liam: [when your mum is overprotective as hell but you’re still gonna die soz hun]

Edie: [it’s very rude to everyone you included hun]

Liam: [and you can’t even talk to the bae cos she’s gonna be popping off at you for ages]

Edie: [we can skip but I’ll just do some immediate afters from her first]

Edie: sorry sorry sorry

Edie: hope you don’t get in so much shit we can’t meet up later

Edie: just tell me when you can

Liam: I won’t, I’ll talk her round, don’t worry

Liam: when she lets me talk

Edie: does she hate me

Liam: I didn’t tell her I was with you, she’s only 😡 at me

Edie: what did you say that she believed

Liam: my mates were 🥺 bc I’d been with you all day

Edie: fair play, boys are clingy like that

Liam: she’s have an unhappy cry and we’ll move past it

Edie: should I have told you no?

Liam: you didn’t know she was gonna find out, I should’ve

Edie: I didn’t want to, I didn’t want you to want to either

Edie: but I feel bad if I make her cry

Liam: it isn’t really about me not being here, it’s about my sister not, this is what she gets like every year

Edie: yeah, of course

Edie: it’s not about us

Edie: be nice if there was something we could do now but I know that’s probably not the case either

Liam: she’ll feel better after she’s shouted at me

Edie: 🔇

Liam: [a gap while that’s going on, such fun I’m sure]

Liam: it’s sorted

Edie: you okay?

Liam: if you can’t hurt me, she ain’t gonna

Edie: are you tired though

Edie: as it’s my day, I can make you have a nap, if you need it

Liam: you’re gonna make me 😴 when there’s 0 limits on what we could do

Liam: serious

Edie: if that’s a challenge to make you 😴 with everything we’re GONNA do

Edie: then challenge accepted

Liam: how much of a challenge are you gonna make it for me to find out what that everything is

Edie: as much of a challenge to be fun

Edie: can’t have you getting bored as well as 😴

Liam: it’ll be a fun challenge too proving I’m not tired or bored

Edie: well, when we can go out again at more sociable hours

Edie: you can start with this [clue] to come find me and prove it

Liam: ok but until then [so many pictures of people with their eyes crossed out from whatever his mum has to read and deface or like their entire photo album tbh because MISS YOU SO SO MUCH] you can have this

Edie: we need a 🏠 of our own

Edie: missing you is so

Edie: intense

Liam: I'll start hunting for a not too trashed empty round and about we can stay in until the holiday cottages clear out

Edie: how’d you guess

Edie: I told you I’d stay busy

Edie: you still have to find me so not a total fail on my behalf

Liam: I didn't, I promise, we must just think really alike and want the same things

Liam: when did you even do this

Edie: sitting still is not a speciality

Edie: and i’ve got a lapel mic so I could record and 🚴‍♀️

Edie: clearly need a go-pro for streaming purposes but you would’ve been 😱 to see that sudden POV change

Liam: I ain't scratched the surface of what you're capable of, have I

Edie: 🤔

Edie: keep going and find out, I reckon

Liam: 😏

Edie: [selfie like 😁]

Liam: I dunno how I'm gonna get used to looking at your 😁 face all the time when we live together, something else to find out

Edie: I could get a 🤡 mask

Liam: we both know the smile underneath is more deadly to me

Edie: you’re deadly and you could kill me

Edie: but I promised

Liam: and you’d never break a promise to me

Edie: never ever

Edie: you’ve got the blood to prove it

Liam: when can I solve the first clue

Edie: is your mum going to work today?

Liam: unless she pulls a sickie

Edie: whenever she’s up for the day, you can go

Edie: even if she’s not mad at me, I don’t want her to be mad at you

Liam: if I leave then, you’ve gotta go sleep for a while now

Edie: I don’t know if I can

Edie: my 🧠 & 💗 are vibrating, that’s what it feels like

Liam: yeah, meaning the comedown is gonna hurt when it does catch up to you and I don’t want you to

Edie: I’ll sleep with you

Liam: my nightmares’ll wake you up

Edie: then I can protect you

Liam: not from what’s already happened

Edie: but from getting stuck there

Liam: seeing me like that is gonna be

Liam: you won’t like it

Edie: I know but I can’t help if I don’t see it

Edie: all of it

Liam: alright, I did say it was a good thing you don’t close your eyes to what everyone else does

Edie: [👀 pic always]

Edie: If you go to sleep, I’ll feel it and I will too

Edie: then I can come find you

Liam: I’ll do it if you sing to me again

Edie: [call so you can do that and both have some sleep]

Liam: [love that for you, keep being adorable forever please lads]

Edie: [so that was my main vibe for today ‘cos she did say she’d look, it should be crappy though and not the one that you find that you actually love straight away so you don’t need to stay here, but you can spend the day there]

Liam: [and you can have fun fucking it up at the end cos you’re not gonna stay]

Edie: [exactly, a more genuine squat vibe this time, so you can get all the creepy shots and footage, as well as just causing some genuine carnage]

Liam: [I’ll see if one of the million pics I have of him holding a camera has the right energy and send it to you]

Edie: [woopwoop, likewise, a more 😈 day but definitely still cute]

Liam: [can’t not be cute ever]

Edie: [tried to fight it but we can’t]

[emerald-amidst-gold]

Ngl whenever I see OC asks I'm tempted to just ask all of them lmao

Buuut, let's see... from the OC creation asks, maybe 12, 15, 19? And for the other one, 1, 8, 52, 69? For any OC you'd like ~

I’m not shitting you when I say, DO IT. 

It’s my favorite time of the day~! Do you think I’ll ever shut up? Not likely, so let’s gooo! >:D 

***

12. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? 

You know, I always think about this to be fair because it’s something that can be a bit of a block for me when writing any of my OCs since they’re all really different personality wise. Fane, in particular, is a bit of a challenge. Especially when it’s not his POV. He’s hard to explain at times, and it’s why I take so long to create one shots or chapters because I want to make sure I’ve been as clear as possible with him or how other’s perceive him. I have to think in my head, ‘How would such and such really feel about Fane’s personality? How would they respond to his outbursts or his views on the world?’ It takes a lot of reviewing banter from Inquisition and seeing how characters interact with one another for me to confidently piece together dialogue in regards to Fane, and at times, my mind wanders into non canon territory to where I then have to yank it back. Fane lets my mind explore, but the wanderlust gets to be a bit..much. I think so, at any rate. Lol. 

On a more personal level, Fane is also me, in a way. He’s a persona that allows me to express what I tend to go through mentally at times. While it’s a sort of comfort for me to get things off my chest through him, I also have to take a step back and breathe, especially if my mind that day isn’t in the best of places. I mean, I want to write during those times, but it can be incredibly difficult to formulate words with enough sensitivity so it doesn’t hit too hard for anyone else and come off wrong.

15. What is something about your OC can make you laugh? 

I’m gonna use Estoria for this because one thing I’ve created with her always makes me smile and giggle like a madman. That thing is, is the fact that she’s a flirter, but if it’s directed at her then she’s a bumbling fool. She’s all miss big bad mercenary elf until someone says, “You’re eyes are truly a delight.’ and then she just laughs nervously and nearly crumbles into a ball at their feet. 

And you bet your ass that Solas’s smooth talk kills her to where she actively has Cullen syndrome and runs away--tripping and stumbling over her own feet because she can’t. Then, when she does manage to get away she just sits on the floor and goes with all the enthusiasm of a teenager, “He..he thinks I’m graceful? He thinks I’m graceful!” Then she just rolls around on the floor, kicking her legs like a happy little flower. :3

19. What is your favorite fact about your OC?

That Fane has a sweet tooth. Hands down. Man becomes a literal puppy around cake, cookies, anything sweet. I have it in my fluffy little head that he swipes those things from Skyhold’s kitchen without anyone seeing because he’s embarrassed. He’ll try to be all sneaky and slick, but someone always stumbles upon him stuffing his face and then..well, you know. Fane becomes Aterian and Solas has to be called to tame a dragon before the walls come down. *smiles pleasantly*

1.  What is/are your OC’s nickname(s) and how did it come about?

We’ll go down the line for this one!

Fane is ‘Tempest’ due to his ‘calm before the storm’ demeanor when in battle. Varric gave it to him when he saw how fast Fane could move despite his size, and how hard he could hit once closing in. He’s literally a lightning bolt as he’s never in the same place twice and he does it all without batting an eye like how a real storm can destroy everything in its path, but when the clouds part, it’s calm, controlled without a shred of guilt towards the wreckage.

Estoria is ‘Snapdragon’. He adoptive father gave it to her as a sign of affection and to let her know that she is strong, even if the world believes she’s just a delicate little flower to be set on a window and forgotten. It also came about whenever he saw just how fierce a fighter she could be and how passionate she would get towards specific topics--’snapping’ like a dragon does with their treasure hoard or young. 

Mhairi is ‘Snow bird’ or ‘Fawn’. Courtesy of Varric and Dorian! Snow bird is Dorian’s nickname for her and it’s mainly due to her proclivity towards ice magic. Fawn is Varric’s choice due to how wide eyed and curious Mhairi is, like a newborn fawn discovering the world for the first time.

8. How does your OC talk/what does your OC’s voice sound like?

This is Fane’s. Fane’s, Fane’s. Only because I have so many thoughts about his voice that I have to try to explain it! All right, so his voice is deep, obviously. However, it’s gruff, it’s tired, and it rumbles like the softest of thunder. You can take the man out of the dragon, but you can’t take the dragon out of the man. He always has a slight growl to his voice, even if he’s not irritated. He does have an accent, more or less along the lines of what the game gives us, but it’s deeper, has more timbre and husk to it. It drops dangerously low when he’s furious--almost warbling with the natural growl. It jumps a slight octave when he’s flustered--sometimes cracking on specific syllables. When he speaks Elvhen though..well, let’s just say Solas has an existential crisis to where he blanks for a good twenty seconds because how the words just roll near perfectly from a deep, deep, near criminally seductive grave. It’s a good time. *waggles eyebrows*

52. What are some of your OC’s motivations?

Oh god. Well, it is time to try and explain why Fane does the shit that he does! Namely, why the hell he supports the destruction of the Veil, even if he knows it could kill people he loves.

One: Fane is heavily devoted to Solas. Centuries of bonding and losing each other does that, after all. He strives in every fashion to lessen the burden on Solas’s shoulders because he’s seen it happen before. He’s seen and felt Solas practically scream for an end. So, he refuses to abandon him again to that torture, even if he has to bloody his hands from those he had come to consider friends. It’s a difficult road for both of them, but Fane tries to keep a tiny shred of hope in his heart that everything will be okay in the end--that they’ll be okay. He just wants to protect Solas with everything he has, even if it brands him a monster. So, in a way, Solas’s continued presence motivates Fane to keep pushing, even if it’s indirectly.

Two: Fane is passionate towards his kin. He wants to free them from the world they are forced to endure. Another reason for why he supports Solas beyond their close bond. He knows that dragons are needed for the world to survive. So, the thought of his kin being able to show what they are truly made to do is what guides him to endure a lot of the heart break and a lot of the words that are eventually hurled at him. It doesn’t make fighting them any easier though.

Three: Fane is heavily mired with family or those he considers family. He took Mhairi’s place in his father’s experiments because he wanted to protect her, not himself. He throws himself in front of blades, magic that’ll make him ill, and kin bearing claws just to keep those close to him alive because he can’t stand the thought of their eyes going dead and grey. He doesn’t want to kill; he wants to preserve, even if eventually, he’ll have to turn his back because of necessity.

69. What is your OC’s favorite kind of weather?

Fane likes snowy, cold, frigid weather. He was a snowy dragon. Who lived on mountain. Had ice in his lungs. Boy melts in the desert, trust me. Besides that, he just likes the way the world looks when its blanketed with snow and ice. It’s still and quiet. Those aren’t things he’s used to, so he greedily indulges in them when they’re present.

Estoria is the opposite. She loves the heat, but primarily she loves rain. She’ll stand out and just look up at the sky with a huge smile on her face--completely unconcerned that she could get sick. All because it reminds her that the world is still moving along, even if the people in it believe it’s not. It’s still growing, flourishing, thriving, and that gives her comfort and joy.

***

Wowee! That was a lot, but damn was it fun! Thank you for the ask, as always! I can ramble, ramble, ramble like my life depends on it! XD 

[jeongyunhoed]

Spellbound

Member: Yunho Part 2 of 3 - Part 1 here Genre: Fluff, angst A/N: Like I’ve been saying, this is a long one! And NGL, I actually cried writing the end of this because this is where things get angsty. Expect a lot of tears. 

Part 2

Over the course of a few weeks, the two of them really hit it off as they spent more and more time together. She opted to always close the store ever since they met, and Yunho would wait for her to finish so they could go home together, and sometimes she would wait for him if he took a few extra minutes in his practicing. She was certain she had never met anyone like him before. He was unusually friendly, he was a good dancer, he was even insanely good at games at the nearby arcade. 

Tonight was no different, and as she had somehow expected, he was already standing outside the store, waving at her with a big smile on his face. She waved back. “Oh? The boyfriend’s here?” One of her colleagues suddenly asked upon noticing Yunho. 

“No, no, we’re just friends,” She said. 

“Are you sure? You were grinning like an idiot earlier whenever you brought him up over lunch today. Are you sure you two are just friends?” Her colleague egged her on. 

She rolled her eyes. “It is possible to just be friends with a guy, you know.” 

“But not a guy like that! Look at him, if I know you well enough, and I think I kind of do, I think he’s exactly your type” Her colleague said. 

She stared at them. “Exactly my type?” She asked. 

“Yeah! But you know, he’s everyone’s type. Tall, cute, can dance, funny, good at games, everything you keep going on and on and on to us about ever since you met him weeks ago” They recalled, partly teasing. 

“Well, maybe he is, but I don’t have time for that kind of thing. I’ve been avoiding it like the plague” She tried to point out. 

“Mhmm, yeah sure,” Her colleague said, side-eyeing her. “Sure you don’t have a stupid grin on your face whenever you see him, or jump at your phone the moment he texts you, or giggle like a schoolgirl whenever he calls and didn’t you say you got anxious whenever someone calls you up?! That’s why we use that as a last resort with you, not that we’ve had to use it before” Her colleague added. 

“What are you still doing here? Your boyfriend’s waiting outside” The manager suddenly said upon entering and noticing Yunho. 

“My boy-” She stared at them then looked away, trying to hide the blush in her cheeks. “He’s not my boyfriend” She managed to speak. 

“Yeah sure, and I’m mother goose. He’s waiting, get out of here and I’ll see you tomorrow” The manager teased, gesturing for her to leave. 

Before she could speak any further, her colleague and the manager shoved her bag and jacket into her hand. She sighed. He is not my boyfriend, she thought. Even if she’s been like that ever since she met him, they’re just friends as far as she knew. 

No, I mean, so what if he’s funny, and cute, and tall, and talented, and insanely lucky at arcade games, and games in general, she thought as she made her way out of the store. That doesn’t mean I like him in that way. 

“Sorry, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting,” She said upon seeing him. 

“No, it’s okay!” Yunho said cheerily. “I did keep you waiting one time, now we’re even!” He added as they turned to the direction of their houses. “So, convenience store first then home?” He asked, glancing at her and still with a skip in his step as she noticed. It never seemed to disappear. 

“Sure, but I won’t eat much. I had a big sandwich earlier” She chuckled. “How was practice?” 

“Pretty good, we learned the next few parts of our routine for the competition, do you want me to show you?” He grinned. 

“Nah, you’re tired, and I’d probably see you on tv anyway” She teased, nudging him as they walked. “And, it’s my turn to pay since you paid for our food last night” She added. 

They approached the nearest convenience store, and she noticed Yunho skid to a halt when they saw a few other guys who were dressed like him. “Oh! Our golden retriever!” Said one of them, whose name she learned was Jung Wooyoung, upon seeing him. 

Yunho greeted them with just as much enthusiasm that it made her wonder if he ever got tired of being this cheerful all the time. He probably did, but even if he was, he probably didn’t look it, she thought. She observed the way he was with his friends. Even his friends seemed to match his energy so well. “Oh, is this the girl you’ve been going on and on and on to us about for the past few weeks?” Said another guy, whose name was Song Mingi, who noticed her. That prompted Yunho to introduce her to them. 

“You know, he’s never stopped talking about you ever since you two met that night” Wooyoung was grinning, almost a little evilly as if to tease his friend. 

“Are you two on a date? It’s kind of late, isn’t it?” said Kim Hongjoong, who was the leader of their dance crew. He too was grinning evilly. 

The question made her look away, getting flustered as she remembered what her colleagues and her own boss were telling her. It seemed like they were also teasing him. Was that what they looked like to people? Did they look like a couple to everyone they knew?

She heard snickering coming from the rest of his friends, who were pointing out how red his ears had gotten from the questions. “We just live in the same area so we just decided to walk home together,” She managed to say, but it was only met with more teasing thrown their way. 

Yunho was looking down, trying to laugh off how embarrassed and flustered he was getting especially as his ears were getting redder the more he evaded the questions. “No, really, she lives in the building meters away from where I live!” He said. 

“Ah, so you’re both dating?” Wooyoung looked incredibly satisfied with how flustered the two of them were. 

“No! No! We’re not dating!” The two of them replied at the same time. It only made the guys howl with laughter. 

“Well, if she’s not dating you, can I ask her out, then?” Hongjoong grinned. 

“No, you can’t. I respect you and adore you hyung, but you can’t go out with her” Yunho immediately replied, shaking his head. Even with a response like that, she noticed that he still had a smile on his face. 

She was too stunned to speak, but she knew it would be awkward if she just stood in her place. She turned and looked around for the ramen packets, suddenly feeling the hunger pangs come over her. But even when she was looking for what she wanted, she couldn’t help but overhear them. “Why not? She’s my type!” Said Hongjoong. 

“You can’t, because then I wouldn’t have anyone to go home with” Yunho reasoned with a nervous chuckle. “And you already get so many girls anyway” He added. 

She smiled to herself, amused at what she was hearing from them. “If Hongjoong hyung can’t, can I?” Wooyoung piped up. 

“No, no, especially not you” Yunho sounded a little firm in his response this time, making the other laugh out loud. 

“Why?! Why not me?!” Wooyoung asked. 

“Because you also already get so many girls! Whenever we all go on a night out, by the time we all decide to go home, you’ve got so many numbers saved on your phone” He pointed out. 

His friends only laughed and patted his shoulder. Somehow, even though she wasn’t looking, she could sense he was pouting like a puppy. She found it adorable how they called him a golden retriever. It made her realize that he really was as cheerful and as happy as one. 

She snapped out of her thoughts when she saw Yunho pop out from behind the shelf in front of her. “Hey, I’ll have whatever you’re having. What do you want to drink?” He asked. 

“Just water” She replied. “They really call you a golden retriever?” She chuckled. 

“Ah, yeah, they do. But I don’t mind, those dogs are very friendly” He said. 

“Do you own one?” 

Yunho shook his head. “No, my building doesn’t allow dogs, so I can’t own one. But I do go to dog cafes sometimes” He revealed. It somehow gave him an idea. “Hey! It’s the weekend tomorrow, want to hang out at the dog cafe? Or! Do you want to come over to my house? Pizza and Netflix, what do you say?” He was beaming. 

“Sure, maybe after work, I get a half-day tomorrow” She smiled. 

“In that case, I’ll pick you up and we can walk to my house” He suggested, holding up his pinky. “That’s a promise.” 

She raised a brow at him and linked his pinky with hers. “Promise. Next time, just go inside the store if you’re going to wait for me, I don’t want you getting uncomfortable outside, okay?” 

“Okay, that’s another deal” He nodded. 

~ 

Little did she know, Yunho was often teased about her ever since they met. Although he was focused when he needed to be, he found himself staring at his phone during short breaks in the hopes that she would message him. Hongjoong pointed out how he was often looking out the window to the second floor of the bookstore where she worked, and how he would jump at his phone when her name came up among his messages. Wooyoung and Mingi also pointed out how he would smile like an idiot whenever he’d read her messages.  

He found himself thinking about her a lot more than usual, and whenever he did, his heart would beat so fast that he wasn’t sure if he was getting anxious or not. 

He couldn’t say it, but he hated the thought of any one of his colleagues would take an interest in her, especially Wooyoung. It wasn’t that he didn’t get his share of attention whenever they went out, but it was mostly because Wooyoung was someone everyone naturally gravitated to, especially the girls, who were always so impressed by his dancing, and who were always screaming if he did anything sexy. 

It was the first time he was this possessive over someone, and the realization scared him a bit. Still, his heart seemed to pound louder whenever she was near, and whenever they went home together that he didn’t want it to end. He wanted to see her all the time. 

“Oh” They muttered to themselves that night in their respective rooms in their respective homes, as they were staring at the photos they took of each other over the past few weeks. 

“I...care about him” She muttered, looking away from one particular selca they took. It was raining, and they were sharing one small umbrella that they suddenly thought to take a photo to remember the day they did just that. He had that big smile on his face as the two of them tried to squeeze themselves under it. They ended up walking home with their sides soaking wet from the downpour. 

Yunho was too stunned to say anything, to voice out the realization he had. And to think, they were going to hang out again tomorrow, and he was going to pick her up. This was what it felt like, he thought to himself. 

~ 

Both of them never heard the end of it from their parents the next morning, about how they were often together. The realization was still on both their minds as they got ready for the day. Yunho wanted to make their first ever hangout at his house perfect. Like a date? He first thought, but shook his head later. This isn’t a date, it’s a hangout between friends, he muttered to himself. 

But he couldn’t help but smile, anticipating what they were going to do. Of course he cared about her, he just wasn’t sure how much he cared until now. 

It was all she could focus on as well, as she mindlessly took charge of the cash register, swiping the cards that were handed out and sometimes directed people to the correct aisle where their books and comics were. It was almost like she started to daydream about what was going to happen in the next hour. 

Yunho would be coming inside, greeting everyone with a smile on his face. He’d ask her to take his hand, and it would be the first time they held hands or showed some physical affection towards each other. 

“Hey, you ready to go?” 

“Hmm? Hmm!” She snapped out of her thoughts when right in front of her was Yunho, laughing at probably her face while she was spaced out in her thoughts. She could feel her cheeks heat up as she caught his gaze and quickly looked away, knowing that her colleagues and her manager were more than likely watching them. 

“You’re so lucky” One of her colleagues muttered to her while they moved away. 

She was still in a sort of daze to speak, but nodded anyway as she rushed into the back room to get her things and leave. By the time she was out, he was leaning over the counter. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach, and she hoped that she wasn’t blushing, but she knew that her cheeks were already very pink.”Why don’t you take the day off on Monday? You can go back to work on Tuesday” The manager suddenly suggested. 

“Day off?” She was confused. 

“Yeah, you’ve never gone on a break before, why don’t you take one? You’ve worked here for years” The manager added. 

“A-are you sure?” She asked. 

“Yeah. You’ll thank me for giving you one, you know” The manager said. “Go home with your boyfriend” They added. 

“We’re not-” The two of them immediately replied, and laughed when they exchanged looks. 

“Mhmm, sure, go on, get out of here” The manager said to her with a satisfied grin on their face. 

Yunho guided her to the door, feeling how hot his cheeks had gotten from the sudden remark made towards them. “Sorry, you’ll have to excuse them, they’ve just never seen me with a guy before” She said, partly joking. 

“Really? They haven’t?” He said with a laugh. 

“Of course they have, but it was the delivery guys since I let them in with the shipments and all. I do the inventories a lot when they arrive” She said, glancing up at him while they walked in the familiar direction of their buildings. 

His mind was racing with things he wanted to do at this moment. Did he want to confess before they arrived at his house? Or would he wait it out until after the first movie they’d watch on Netflix was finished? Did he want to just say it at all? Or did he want to show it to her instead? He decided to confide in Mingi about his realization before picking her up. He was terrified and anxious and excited all at once. Mingi just told him to be confident and be how he’s usually been to her. Hongjoong offered the same advice. “I realized you haven’t seen the building where I live” He suddenly said. 

“Yeah, I haven’t. You said before that it had a name” She recalled that conversation they had during one of their walks. 

“Sirius Tower. Sounds Western isn’t it? A lady said to us that Sirius is a name for a star” He said. “The more you know~” He sing-songed, making her laugh. 

“Not many buildings seem to be named after stars. I wonder why they decided to name your building after one” She pondered. 

He beamed. “Well, there is another reason why it’s named a star, and you’ll see once we get there” He said, leading the way into his building. They passed through the front entrance, and she saw why he said it. There was a large painting of Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” on the wall, set against walls of a dark blue, almost black. The lights on the ceiling almost mimicked the look of stars against the ceiling that was also a dark blue-almost black in color. 

She felt her heart flutter, and it was also when she realized they were already holding hands. She didn’t dare to let go, at least until he realized it too. “It...it must be nice to live here” She said, in awe of the place. 

“This is not even the half of it, but if you’ll stay for dinner, I know my parents would be around, and my brother, but if you can stay,” He said, looking into her eyes. “I’ll show you what else makes this building star-like.” 

Somehow she felt like she’d be doing him wrong if she rejected it. “...Sure” She said softly. 

His lips curved into a wide smile again, and he led her inside the elevators. 

~ 

“Welcome to my crib” Yunho chuckled as he opened the door. They took their shoes off and she waited for him to lead the way. “My parents and my brother went to the bowling alley today” He said, gesturing for her to come in. 

“Without you? That must’ve been fun” She raised a brow. 

He shook his head. “I’ve been that bowling alley hundreds of times, I think I can skip this one. They’re meeting with some of my cousins anyway” He replied. He didn’t want to mention how he had to ask them to stay out of the house because he was inviting her over, an explanation that earned him teasing remarks from his own family, especially his parents. 

Aww Yunho is in love, they said to him. 

She must be a very special girl, his father said. 

He’s never stopped talking about her, he becomes the heart-eyes emoji whenever he calls her up, His brother would point out again and again. 

They passed by a large family photo and she smiled when she saw him sitting on the side and dressed in a tuxedo. He looked so handsome, she thought. A little too handsome that she found herself visualizing him perhaps waiting for her at the end of the aisle. She blinked to snap out of it. She was getting too far ahead. “This was recent, wasn’t it?” She grinned, glancing at him. 

He nodded. “Yeah, wedding anniversary of my parents. Do you have something like this?” He asked. 

She shook her head. “My father died when I was very young, so any family picture we’d have would just be the three of us, me, my mom, and my sister” She said quietly. 

Yunho’s face fell slightly. “Sorry I asked” He said. 

“It’s okay, it’s been a long time anyway” She waved a hand dismissively. “So,” she turned to face him. “Netflix and pizza?” 

“Yeah!” He said. “I’ve set everything up, and the pizza should be here in a few minutes,” She followed him into the living room while he went straight into the kitchen. “I’ve got water and…” He peeked in the refrigerator. “Energy drinks, or juice, or cola. We could open the soju too if you prefer drinking something alcoholic, I don’t mind” He glanced at her.

She had never set foot in Yunho’s house before, and yet, she couldn’t help but feel like she had been here so many times. It had that very familiar feeling to her. “Hmm? Just cola, I have no plans on drinking, especially getting drunk” She teased. 

As soon as he poured some of the soda into glasses, the doorbell rang. “The pizza’s here~” Yunho declared, looking through the security system first to check. “Yes, the pizza’s here” He took his wallet out of his pocket and dashed towards the door. 

She couldn’t shake off the familiar feeling she was having as she looked around, noticing his family photos and stopping at a picture of him when he was a kid. She smiled to herself. It seemed like he had a very happy family despite the usual challenges here and there. It was the only way to explain why he was such a happy person even if he didn’t say much about himself, always preferring to talk about what they were doing or thinking at that moment. She sat herself down on the couch upon seeing Yunho come back with two boxes of pizza. “What flavor did you get?” She asked. 

“What else? The one with everything on it, and, because it’s a special day, these are stuffed crust” He looked pleased with himself as he brought the boxes to the living room, settling it on the space between the two of them along with their drinks. 

“What movie did you have in mind?” She asked. 

“I was going to ask you the same thing” He said sheepishly, laughing as he opened the box. 

“I’d say Serendipity but you might not like that, would you?” She teased. 

“Hey, I can watch anything, as long as we watch something, otherwise we would’ve gone out instead” He teased back.

“You invited me over!” She pointed out with a laugh. 

“I know! So, let’s watch something, shall we?” Yunho chuckled, looking through the titles. 

~ 

“...If we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call “fatum,” what we currently refer to as destiny…” They were more than halfway through the movie. The words seemed to resonate within them, but they were unable to admit it. 

“Do you believe in that kind of thing?” Yunho suddenly asked her. 

She glanced at him. “I don’t know, I guess I do if I’ve been staying away from some things,” She shrugged. “What about you? Do you believe in that?” 

He shrugged as well. “I don’t know either. Maybe because I’ve never experienced something like that.” 

“Not even when you joined your dance crew?” She said. She remembered him telling her about how he ended up becoming part of the dance crew that now frequented the studio next to the store. 

“Maybe that. Would it be that feeling that you’re being led somewhere but you don’t know why? You don’t know how you find yourself there, isn’t it?” He mused, taking a drink of cola in between. 

“I guess that’s exactly it” She nodded. “You’re being led somewhere but you don’t know why, you don’t know how, but when you get there, you find that it’s where you were supposed to be all this time” She muttered, looking back at the movie. 

“Do you think it applies to people too?” He said, and she could sense that he was no longer watching the movie. She felt her heart pound and the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. 

She turned to him, and her expression falling as she noticed the way he was looking at her. He didn’t look at her like his usual puppy-like expression, but rather in a way that seemed to suggest something else. Something...romantic. “I-I don’t know, I’ve never experienced that part.” 

They gazed into each other’s eyes. All the more it was becoming clear. She was falling in love with Yunho, and she felt like she was going to burst the more they stayed like this. 

Yunho looked down at her lips and then back to her eyes. “...I feel like I’m being led to you and I don’t know why, but ever since we met, I felt like I finally reached it” He admitted, ears going red at his sudden admission. He took the plunge and leaned in to kiss her. 

She felt like her heart was going to burst with how she felt about him, and the kiss was the release she needed, and she could feel it was the same for him too. They slowly pulled away, lingering and wondering what they should do next. She looked into his eyes, and her eyes were welling with tears at the realization. 

He was tall. 

He was called a golden retriever and had the personality of one. 

He lived on a building named after a star. 

All the things she remembered wishing for when she cast the spell years ago. Yunho was that guy she wished for. “I-I think I know why you feel that way…” She muttered. 

“You do?” Why then?” He asked. 

“Because...I sent for you. When I was a kid, I made a wish, I cast a spell from my aunt’s books, a true love spell…” She bit her lip upon revealing it to him. “It was you. You’re the one I wished for” She said and looked down. Yunho had a soft smile on his face, but soon fell when she looked back at him. “It also means you’re in danger…” 

“Danger? What are you talking about? I don’t think you’re hard to love if that’s what you mean” He said, brows furrowing. 

“In a way, you could say that. But you see... my family’s cursed. All the women in my family are doomed to die with broken hearts because of the curse my great-great-great-great-great grandmother placed on herself,” She explained, moving away from him bit by bit. “It’s how my father died, how my grandfather died, and all the men before them...if anything happens between us, to you, it’s because of that curse, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry…” She wiped her eyes and got up, turning to leave. 

Yunho got up to stop her in time. For some reason he found himself saying exactly what he felt. “Hey, wait! Stop!” He said, standing in front of her. “If you think that’s going to change how I feel about you, then you’re wrong. Curses are only real if you believe them to be, please don’t let that get in the way between us” He held her hands, and she saw that he was tearing up as well. 

“But your life will be in danger if you decide to be with me,” She said, her voice cracking as she tried to hold back her tears. “Please, if you really care about me? Please… stay away from me. You’re here, we’re both here because of the spell…” 

He bit his lip to keep himself from crying and slowly let go of her hands and stepped aside. She walked down the hall to put on her shoes. “Hey,” He managed to say, calling her name. 

She turned around. “Yes?” 

“I wished for you too, you know” He said. 

Tears were already streaming down her face, and she felt her heart break into a million pieces as she pressed on, determined to leave. She was in love with Yunho, and she knew his life was in danger. 

[onsgiftexchange]

A Kiss Full of Petals

Hiya, Thea (LavenRain96) is here with her present to her secret santa, Devin ( @devinthedragondraws )~! I hope you’ll like this! :D

To be honest, I never heard of this event until my own circle of friends mentioned it in Twitter and Discord. I initially didn’t want to join with how busy I am as of late, but I was like: “You know what? F*** it, let’s make someone happy.”. Thus, I joined. To my pleasant surprise, my secret santa likes reading angst with a happy ending, or something that makes their heart swoon. That, and they also like sweet confessions and something that the characters are recovering from. So with that in mind, I wrote a mini-fic about the Hanahaki Disease (ngl I want to write this AU for some time now, and I’m glad that I get to do so in this way) and I had so much fun writing this, even though I admit that it feels a bit rushed (I apologize ;;;;;).

But anyway, once again, this is for you, Devin. Please enjoy!

—

The smell of cleanliness was quite pungent to Mikaela’s nose, reminding him almost every day of where he was. The white walls, the fine sheets and the IV on his arm even contributed to this fact… and he hated it. It felt like he was hidden away from the world, quarantined in the hospital all for the sake of healing. However, with how serious his disease was getting, it was inevitable that he would end up in the very place he dreaded on staying.

That was just how the world works; the one where the sickness known as the Hanahaki Disease exist.

Mikaela shrugged it off as a bluff at first with how fictitious the said disease was, especially with its low pathogenicity. But given his current circumstances as of late, he couldn’t deny that the disease was, in fact, real, and that he was feeling it in the most painful way imaginable.

He couldn’t speak properly—even something as simple as breathing proved to be an excruciating task for him without him coughing badly in return. Such things tend to put a strain on his throat that ruined his vocal chords and left a burning sensation that would take hours to calm down.

The flower petals that he spit out, though beautiful, didn’t do anything to lift his mood since the very sight of them clearly meant that he was near death’s door in each passing day. The thought of dying alone with this disease was something Mikaela couldn’t dream of imagining.

It must have been lonely to die like this, was the first thing that came to mind before his thoughts drifted to his childhood friend and crush, Yuuichirou.

Unfortunately, his thoughts were immediately halted as he suddenly felt a sudden surge from his throat, prompting him to cough harshly against his hand. It lasted for a few seconds, but for Mikaela, it felt like an eternity until his lungs slowly pave way to the tranquility from before. The hand on his mouth was shaking but it held firm— it was a simple way to try and soothe the after effect of his coughs. However, the fear of looking at the outcome of yet another violent episode of his disease also sustained him from moving his hand away.

The thick wetness and the soft, satin-like texture on his skin was something that Mikaela was already used to. It was so common to the point that it was embedded into his everyday life, but a part of himself was still in disbelief, still in denial that this was happening to him. His stubborn side persistently refused to acknowledge this. It wouldn’t just go and accept the fact that his love for Yuuichirou was slowly killing him. To do so would admittedly mean that loving the very man who had been with him through thick and thin was a mistake. A large, fatal mistake.

Mikaela knew better than to regard Yuuichioru as such. He may be flawed in some parts of himself, but that wasn’t enough to make Mikaela love him any less. To Mikaela, Yuuichirou was his everything. He was his best friend, his family, his confidant, his partner-in-crime…

… But why was loving him so damn painful?

Mikaela knew the answer to that well. It was a hard pill to swallow in a consistent pace, but for Yuuichirou’s sake, he gladly took it with a smile, even at the cost of his own happiness and health.

As long as Yuu-chan is happy, it’s enough, Mikaela reminded himself as he finally lowered his hand to reveal a streak of blood, and a small handful of red and white flower petals. The bloodied sight brought a heart-wrenching smile on Mikaela’s face before he sighed softly and aimlessly dropped the petals on the floor.

He felt a little sorry for giving his nurse some extra work to handle, but as of now, he didn’t care anymore. His hope to continue living with his most cherished person was starting to dwindle.

~ 0 ~

“I will not tolerate this behavior, Mika.” Krul stated firmly with her arms crossed as she looked at Mikaela with a frown, “I finally found a compatible lung donor for you, and I won’t waste this opportunity just because you refuse to let go of your feelings for Yuuichirou.”

Mikaela looked away in defiance, his brows furrowed with equal anger.

Krul sighed while she softened up just a bit, “Listen, I know that you like him, but Mika… Is he really worth dying for? You have a future ahead of you and it will surely hurt Yuuichirou if you die now. Haven’t you thought of that?”

“ I don’t care, ” Mikaela wrote on his mini white board Krul provided him with as a form of communication. “ I will not allow my lungs to be replaced by somebody else’s. ”

“Don’t be so stubborn. You know well what will happen if you don’t get operated soon.” Krul exasperated before she stood up from her seat, still frowning due to Mikaela’s lack of cooperation. “I’ll set up the appointment right away. Whether you like it or not, you’re going to have that surgery. We’ve waited long enough.”

Mikaela opened his mouth to voice a protest, having forgotten for a moment that his vocal chords were on the verge of being destroyed if he add anymore strain on them. However, whatever he wanted to say died in his throat when a knock was heard on his room door, pausing his thoughts.

“Hey, Mika…!” Yuuichirou greeted cheerfully with a wide grin as he opened the door. His smile faltered slightly upon seeing that Mikaela wasn’t alone in the room, and that there was tension in the atmosphere. He clearly knew right then and there that he entered at such a bad time.

“… Oh, um, hello to you too, Krul-san.” He awkwardly addressed with a respectful bow towards Krul. “Did I interrupt on something? If so, I could just—”

“—It’s quite alright, Yuu-kun.” Krul acknowledged with a small wave of her hand. “In fact, I was just about to leave. I’ve already said what I want to Mika very clearly regarding his operation.”

“Operation?” Yuuichirou repeated in confusion before his face lit up. “No way! You’ve found a donor?!”

“Yes, Mika is going to get his surgery soon. He’ll be cured in no time..” Krul confirmed but her words only made Mikaela angry. How dare she just brush off his feelings for Yuuichirou as if it was nothing but a burden on her shoulders? If Yuuichirou wasn’t in the room, Mikaela would likely throw a tantrum and be forcefully restrained on the bed until he calmed down.

“That’s great news, Mika. I’m so happy for you.” Yuuichirou cheered with a smile on his face, completely oblivious towards Mikaela’s dilemma. “It must really suck to be coughing almost every day. I mean, when was the last time you talked properly? Oh, and I really miss your voice. So with the surgery on the way, everything will be back to where it was.”

Hearing that, Mikaela didn’t know if he should cry or be offended with what Yuuichirou just said. Either way, it was heartbreaking to know that those words were coming out from his friend’s mouth, and it seemed that sadness won over his emotions as Mikaela was blinking away the tears that were trying to fall from his eyes.

Mikaela’s bravado from before slowly disappeared, replacing itself with sorrow as he took Yuuichirou’s enthusiasm for his recovery as a sign of rejection. An innocent one, and yet it stabbed deep like a knife in his heart.

But, still… Mikaela smiled, masking his hurting.

“ You’re right, Yuu-chan. ” Mikaela wrote down in his white board. His once straight and confident handwriting was now dissolved into something soft and shaky. “ Once my surgery is done, I can go to school again and be with you guys. I must have brought you a lot of trouble. ”

“Nah, don’t be sorry, Mika.” Yuuichirou shook his head in consideration before he took a seat on Mikaela’s bed, “As long as you’re well again after all these days, this is nothing. The Shinoa squad will continue to wait and support you until the very end.”

Mikaela couldn’t help but feel a tinge at that sentence. It wasn’t that he was ungrateful for his friends to worry about his health, but truth be told, the squad had nothing to do with his illness at all and Mikaela wished Yuuichirou would put them aside even for just a little bit. He knew that it was selfish to even think about that, but Yuuichirou had been his friend ever since they were kids. So, shouldn’t he have more priority over them?

No, don’t think that. This is enough. This is enough…

Mikaela encouraged himself that the attention he was receiving was already sufficient. There was no room to be greedy in a situation like this, especially when he was on the verge of dying. Any kind of attention, though brief and pitiful, was more than plenty. He could make do with that.

“Well then, I shall take my leave now that I have Mika’s consent on the operation. Take care of him in my stead, Yuu-kun.” Krul requested with care. Whether she was aware of how Yuuichirou’s words affected Mikaela or not, she didn’t show it and kept her expression unreadable.

“Sure thing, Krul-san.” Yuuichirou agreed with a nod before turning his attention back to Mikaela once Krul left. “Man, it’s been a long while since we’re alone like this, don’t you think?”

Mikaela smiled in nostalgia as he wrote down, “ I agree… ”

Yuuichirou chuckled in reply before he settled in a comfortable silence with Mikaela, staring down on his friend’s white board and his handwriting. Without a word, Yuuichirou reached a hand out and placed it a top of Mikaela’s, prompting the latter to look at him with a raised brow.

“Sorry for being sudden, but… I’m just happy.” Yuuichirou explained himself softly. His face showed nothing but a serene smile. “I wasn’t lying when I said I missed your voice. I may find it annoying sometimes with how you keep on nagging me to do stuff, but your voice is… I find it nice.”

… Huh?

Mikaela’s eyes rounded in surprise at Yuuichirou’s sudden confession. He liked his voice? Mikaela didn’t really see anything special with his voice. That was just how it was—ordinary and plain. For Yuuichirou to admit that he found his voice pleasant made Mikaela’s heart thump just a bit. It didn’t even help that there was an obvious blush on Yuuichirou’s cheeks after his confession.

“W-Well, you sing really good, so it’ll be a waste if you just let it wither away with this disease of yours. The kids in the orphanage will be sad.” Yuuichirou added on, but it only served to further heighten his embarrassment.

“ How about you, Yuu-chan? Will you be sad? ” Mikaela couldn’t help but write the question down out of curiosity.

“O-Of course, I’ll be sad. Don’t make me repeat myself, Mika. Geez…” Yuuichirou nearly shrieked with a frown and his face bloomed red like a tomato.

Mikaela chuckled at Yuuichirou’s reaction. The look on his face reminded him back in the days where Mikaela would often tease Yuuichirou just for the sake of getting on his nerves. Now that they were older, that teasing became one of his forms of endearment for Yuuichirou, and Mikaela would wonder from time to time if Yuuichirou even took notice of it.

“Anyway…” Yuuichirou’s voice cut through Mikaela’s thoughts. “Even though I’m happy that you’ll get a surgery and recover soon… I feel sorry for his person you have unrequited feelings with. I mean, you’re smart and handsome. Anyone would practically beg on their knees to date you, you know… That person must be lucky to have caught your eye.”

And that person happens to be you., was what Mikaela wanted to say but he held back out of fear that Yuuichirou might react badly at having another man like him that way. From what Mikaela understood as of late, Yuuichirou and Shinoa have a… thing for each other. The hints were subtle, but Mikaela could tell that Shinoa had a major crush on Yuuichirou. Yuuichirou, on the other hand, still kept treating her normally to the point that it was impossible to know if he liked her back or not.

But even if that was the case, that didn’t change the fact that Mikaela still chose to hide his feelings because he valued his friendship with Yuuichirou so much. He would rather risk his health than his relationship. But with how he was going to be removing his disease surgically, shouldn’t he make the most out of now? Mikaela could always tell Yuuichirou that he was joking in the end since Yuuichirou identified Mikaela to be a trickster at certain points in their lives.

It was a low move, but Mikaela was becoming desperate. He wanted to at least kiss Yuuichirou before his feelings for him were gone—forcefully and painfully taken away from him during surgery. He may not remember the kiss after the operation, but he at least told Yuuichirou how he felt albeit masked within a joke.

With an intake of breath, Mikaela then wrote down on his white board what he wanted to say, “ Hey, Yuu-chan. Before my operation, can I tell you something? ”

Yuuichirou read Mikaela’s message before he nodded, “Of course. What is it, Mika?”

Without writing anything back, Mikaela leaned close to Yuuichirou and planted a kiss on his cheek. His warm lips met soft skin briefly before he pulled back with one of his usual, teasing smiles—ready for Yuuichirou’s outburst.

However, Yuuichirou’s reaction was anything but what Mikaela expected. Yuuichirou was looking at him in surprise before it changed into a small frown. Mikaela blinked and waved his hands a bit to clearly tell that the kiss was nothing but a joke, but Yuuichirou clearly wasn’t buying it.

“… Shut up.”, were the words that left Yuuichirou’s mouth before he reached and grabbed Mikaela’s hospital gown before he leaned close and landed a kiss on Mikaela’s mouth, bruising it with how rough he was.

Mikaela jumped in shock and pushed Yuuichirou away for a bit to put some distance in between them. When they pulled apart, Mikaela noticed a flower petal hanging loosely on Yuuichirou’s lips—a blue rose petal that held the same shade as his own eyes. The sight of it rendered Mikaela speechless, and his silence only spurred a blush to grace Yuuichirou’s cheeks once again.

“Yeah, I have it too… because I thought you love someone else,” Yuuichirou confessed as he took the slightly wet flower petal on his lips. “It’s not as bad as yours, but… yeah…”

Yuuichirou looked away shyly, unable to say anything next now that he just outrightly admitted to like Mikaela that way. Fortunately for Yuuichirou, no words were needed to be said as Mikaela gently cupped his face and kissed him again. Unlike when Yuuichirou did it roughly and in a blinding rush, this one was full of passion and love—silently telling emotions that were kept hidden away for so long.

The taste of flowers in his mouth was unavoidable, and yet despite that, Mikaela felt so light that he could feel himself breathing freely.

“… Yuu-chan,” Mikaela rasped in a crooked voice, which surprised Yuuichirou.

“Mika, your voice… It’s back.”

“Oh…” Mikaela blinked in amazement upon realizing that his voice was back, even though it sounded a bit different now after all the pressure that disease gave it. Nevertheless, his eyes stained in unshed tears of joy. “My voice… Yuu-chan, it’s—”

Before Mikaela could say any more words, Yuuichirou claimed his lips again in a soulsearing kiss, effectively silencing him as words couldn’t express the happiness the other was feeling. Mikaela merely just closed his eyes in silent acceptance before he wrapped his arms around Yuuichirou and returned the kiss in full, allowing them to enjoy their intimate time together as they healed each other through a kiss that was full of petals.

[head-and-heart]

The 100 Highlights - “Damocles: Part 2″ (5x13)

Hey guysssssss. 

I’m back to cover my final highlight recap for Season 5. After this, I’ll be going more in-depth on analysis/criticism of the overall season so enjoy this lighthearted blundering while you can. :)

To read other posts in this series, you can click here. 

Tree is really out here (as always) doing his best work. The score during the opening sequence this episode was *kisses fingers*

I have to say that I did enjoy Bellamy protecting Madi in various ways throughout the finale. He promised Clarke that he would, and it feels like he’s living up to that promise. First by stepping in front of her to protect her from Octavia, and then later when he told her “we’ll be right beside you”, ensuring that he would have her back the entire time. And that he would be there to advise her whenever she needs his help.

“Now we win.” Lousy shot. Ha. Sorry, but that was hot.

“You’ll never know your daughter.” Good. Fucking. Riddance.

“We’ve been here before, Madi. We were the criminals. The 100.” I get weak for any reference to the original hundred what can i say i’m a starving woman

“You can execute them because they’re the enemy, or you can break the cycle. You can be better than them. You can be better than us.”

I do like the theme of Season 5 being about breaking the cycle. Let’s hope that the writers really do mean that when they say it.

I also enjoy the return of motivational speeches Bellamy. Madi may have been the figurehead throughout this episode, but it was really Bellamy leading the way. He may have changed, but he’s still the heart. He still inspires people, and I’m glad that he got to the be the one to have this moment where he changed the tide of the war. It felt like a nice wrap up of his journey over the course of “Book One”.

“We’ll wait as long as we can.” “Deja vu.” MONTY IS THE ONLY REAL ONE HERE. My first thought when Raven said that line was “oh ffs not this again”. 

I did enjoy the parallel of Monty saving Murphy’s life like Murphy did in 4x13. 

“First we save their lives. Then we let them prove they deserve it.” “The commanders told you that?” “No. Bellamy.” aksqinsks first lemme laugh at Clarke’s skepticism about the flame telling Madi to spare them because that bitch KNOWS that they would never be so noble lmao. Second lemme appreciate my crumbs.

I mean ... I guess we finally know how the radio calls were addressed???

Clarke’s hopeful little smile when Bellamy sat down next to her on the ship was really cute. She looks so guilty and nervous. Eliza raised millions for the Blarkes in this episode.

“THAT’S BRILLIANT!” Me, every single time Bellamy Blake speaks. Thank you for the enthusiasm, Clarkey G.

Bellamy and Clarke are so, so, so awkward in this scene between them but it kind of feels like ... the start of something? Like, they both have made huge mistakes and still found it in them to forgive each other despite it. And now they know how much the other cares for them. I have to hope that it means they’re going to move forward. For real, this time. How they’re supposed to.

“You’re not mad at me for leaving you in Polis?” “The commander told me not to be.” Anyway, Bellamy’s jokes still suck and Clarke still laughs at them so ... some things never change?

“I’ll meet you on the bridge.” That was a weighted fucking look, my dudes. I liked that Bellamy thought to include Clarke. It felt like an apology, in a way. 

Also, WAS THAT THE S5 BELLARKE THEME I HEARD IN THAT SCENE. Cause if so, it’s fucking beautiful.

THAT LOOK BETWEEN THE BLAKES. BOB AND MARIE HAVE SO MUCH CHEMISTRY.

“Cheer up. I wasn’t invited either.” I LOVE A WOMAN

“Your mistake was liking it. Power. It’s the kiss of death. It’s okay. I liked it, too.” Ivana and Marie are both such compelling actresses and HEY LOOK THEY GOT CHEMISTRY. I honestly really enjoyed this short scene between the two of them. They were enemies and yet - no hard feelings. Because the war wasn’t personal to them. We didn’t get many scenes between Charmaine and Octavia this season (or obvious reasons) but I’m intrigued to see if we’ll get more in Season 6 because they work really naturally together. And they seem to understand something about each other (or, at least, Charmaine understands something about Octavia). 

Bellamy and Clarke leading the meeting on the ship ... it felt like old times. I really loved that everyone looked to them for guidance in that scene, despite everything that happened throughout the rest of the season. Gives me hope that we might (finally !) get that co-leading dynamic back in Season 6, especially since they were the two that will be informing the others of Monty and Harper’s discovery. 

Bellamy, in particular, gave me serious Chancellor vibes in that episode. He really stepped into his leadership boots this season, especially near the end there. 

Dear god, please get rid of that goddamn flame as a viable form of leadership. If anyone from Eligius starts following it next season I’m calling B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Let Bellamy and Clarke lead, dammit! 

Also ... Zeke looked to Bellamy for permission to speak. Not the Commander. So jot that down, honey’s.

“And Bob’s your uncle.” “I thought you hated that phrase.” “It’s growing on me.” STOP this was cute (and now i’m cryingggggg cause that was Monty and Raven’s last interaction ever)

Clarke taking the bindi off of Madi. 10/10 great scene, let’s burn it now.

Marie in that tank top ... ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm where’s the nearest bucket of holy water

“Kind of like closing the door in the floor.” “Kind of like that.” I liked this callback. Octavia is soft with Bellamy in this scene in a way we haven’t really seen all season. It’s ... oddly nice? Coming from someone who has never cared for Octavia.

“You’re my sister, and a part of me will always love you.” “Does the other part of you still wish I was dead?” “The other part wishes a part of you was. Yeah.”

OKAY. I really liked this scene for a couple of reasons. The first being that I think it clarifies the line from 5x12 where Bellamy tells O that he wishes she was dead A LOT. It basically confirms that Bellamy was referring to the part of Octavia that is blodreina, which doesn’t feel as out of character (whereas Bellamy wishing for his sister’s death did). 

I also really like that, even though Octavia tells Bellamy that she loves him and he tells her that he loves her, too, he doesn’t forgive her. Bellamy and Octavia feel like they are finally on the road to establishing healthy boundaries and burying their dysfunctional relationship in place of building something new. I’ve always wanted this to be textual on the show and I never anticipated that we might actually get it. What they did with the Blakes this season is probably one of my favourite things to come out of the season.

And, as always, Marie and Bob are stunning together. This is a large part of the reason that I’m actually okay with Octavia surviving this season, because they work so damn well together.

I feel like Tree doesn’t get enough credit for his work so I have to mention, again, how beautiful the score was during that scene. He elevates the show so much with his music. In the scene where Clarke and Bellamy woke up, alone, it had such an eery feel to it. I really liked it.

Ngl, my FAVOURITE moment in this entire episode was Bellamy and Clarke’s soft-ass fucking smiles when Bellamy’s pod opened. Like, Clarke’s face when she was watching Bellamy wake up? A BITCH IS IN LOVE. And Bellamy was so soft too ughhhhhhhh Platonic Excellence

“Hey.” “Hey.” HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

LISTEN. BELLAMY BLAKE DESERVES TO WAKE UP TO CLARKE LIKE THIS EVERY SINGLE MORNING FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE OKAY? OKAY I’M GLAD WE’RE ON THE SAME PAGE

...

I’m a Big Fan. They’re so fucking cute. That was so domestic. How do I move on?

“Why is it just us?” I literally stood up and yelled “BECAUSE IT’S FATE DUMBASS”

“That’s the way mom and dad wanted it.” I stan my new Bellarke warrior 

“Can I just say that - wow - I mean, I can’t tell you how good it is to finally meet you. Weird, but good. Great, actually.” WHY IS THIS LITERALLY ME WHEN I MET BOB AND ELIZA 

ALSO JORDAN IDOLIZING BELLAMY AND CLARKE? RELATABLE. THIS WOULD 100% BE ME IF I GOT TO MEET THEM

“Who are you?” WHY THE FUCK AM I LAUGHING. Bellamy is so intense and he’s got his deep voice and he’s wearing his intimidation face and him and Clarke are both looking at Jordan like “what the actual fuck is going on” and then there’s Shannon Kook with his adorable fucking smile and his adorable fucking voice and he’s literally a bundle of sunshine and these two people are just glaring at him. BELLAMY, CLARKE, SWEETIES, PLAY NICE THAT IS YOUR GODSON YOU ARE TALKING TO

“My name. Right. I didn’t tell you my name. Sorry. I haven’t met anyone before, so clearly I suck at it.” Reason #2 for Jordan being the most relatable character ever. I, too, am the most horridly awkward human in the world. Step aside, Clarkey G, I think I’ve found my TRUE self-insert on this show.

Monty and Harper are just the loveliest couple on this show. I never anticipated how much I would love them when they hooked up in Season 3. Wow. It was really nice to get all of those shots of them in peacetime, just loving each other, on the ship - especially after how little screentime they got throughout the rest of the season. Also, I swear that Shannon has a mixture between Monty and Harper’s smiles. What is this sorcery?

“Smart like his father.” “Kind like his mum.” CAN YOU HEAR ME CRYING ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE ON EARTH 

(Also ... sounds like my new damn favourite character.)

“Hey Bellamy ... hey Clarke.” WTF MY EYES ARE SWEATING

“Wait ... take care of our boy.” Listen, Jordan. Madi failed me. I’m counting on YOU to parent trap them. Okay? Okay.

But seriously, the fact that Monty and Harper trusted Bellamy and Clarke to take care of their kid, that they wanted it to be them ... is A Lot. I’m excited to see how that goes in Season 6. 

When Jordan opened the window and the new planet appeared and the music started swelling I got fucking shivers. Holy hell. It was so beautiful. TREE WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME 

“Can you see it? Is it beautiful? It is in my dreams. I hope we do better there. I hope Jasper was wrong and we aren’t the problem. I hope your lives there will be as happy as mine has been. Be the good guys. May we meet again.”

GUYS THOSE WORDS FROM MONTY ARE FUCKING EVERYTHING

LIKE, THESE ARE THE EMOTIONAL BEATS THAT THE REST OF SEASON 5 HAS BEEN MISSING

This is honestly the first real time where I’ve had hope that they might actually break the cycle. That they might build something new. Its the end of an era, but it feels like the start of something new. I genuinely cannot predict what is going to happen on that planet. Which is a new feeling. And I like it.

And of fucking course it would be Monty and Jasper (and Harper) who are responsible for breaking that cycle. Of course. This is the best thing they could have done with Jasper’s memory, is sending Monty on this mission to do better for the rest of humanity. And this is the best send-off I ever could have asked for for any character. Monty and Harper have been with us since the beginning. It just feels right that they should get this ending, that they should be the ones who usher in the next generation of The 100. Like. Wow. I’m speechless.

Also, that Bellarke side hug was er nice. That’s the most domestic they have ever looked. Idc. Bellamy staring at the Earth alone on the Ark in 4x13 and 5x01 vs him staring at the new planet with Clarke at his side is the ONLY parallel I claim.

The final shot of them through the window with the planet reflected around them was STUNNING. Honest to god the most beautiful shot I think this show has ever done. 

“End Book One” on Bellamy and Clarke, together, staring at the new world and the new hope they will deliver to their people. Maybe that’s what the first five seasons were really about. Bringing them to this place, where they are staring at the future - side by side, as a unit, ready to face whatever comes next.

Fuck. 

I have to say that I enjoyed the second half of that episode way more than the first half. I feel like it had a lot of emotional beats that I really wanted to see throughout the season (that we just weren’t getting) and it also teed up a lot for the next season. I’m so intrigued by what they’re going to find down on that planet, and I’m excited for the writers to really break the cycle and build something new - hopefully something that involves more character moments. 

I still haven’t decided if I’m going to continue with this series in Season 6, but stay tuned! I hope you enjoyed reading all of my recaps throughout this season. It’s been a ride ahaha. See ya on the other side, folks.