#next up is my sweet boy delano

[vikingmagic33]

As promised, @beaumaismortel I have posted my first FBAA fic. Kieran POV and a bit of a fix-it fic for a key part from TWOTQ.

You can find my NSFW fic on AO3.

Thank you to @mystical-blaise and @headcanonheadcase and @hlizr50 for commiserating with me around this and to @hlizr50 specifically for fixing my canon misspellings. Enjoy!

[fruitcoops]

Drop the Gloves

Not Fic O'Ween, but I was really in the mood for some baby Remus and Hope being an excellent mom tonight. Hope you enjoy! SW characters go to @lumosinlove <3

TW for schoolyard bullying, fighting, minor injury

Hope loved her son. He was kind, and funny, and sweet, and brilliantly clever, and still had those squishable little cheeks even at almost ten years old—it was impossible not to love him.

But sometimes…sometimes she questioned his decision-making skills.

“Mr. Lupin,” the principal began, leaning over the desk with his hands folded. “Would you like to explain yourself?”

“He deserved it.”

Hope closed her eyes. Not he started it. Not he was being rude.

He deserved it.

“Remus,” she said quietly. “I think Mr. Delano was asking what happened.”

“Your son hit mine, that’s what happened!” the pinch-faced woman in the opposite chair snapped, pulling the little boy next to her even closer. “Unprovoked!”

“It wasn’t unprovoked!” Remus protested.

“Mr. Lupin—”

“It wasn’t!” Beneath the smudge of a bruise covering his left eye, Remus’ gaze was fiery when he looked to Hope. “Mom, Aiden was being unkind. I asked him to stop and he kept going and then I hit him.”

The principal raised his eyebrows. “So you admit that you hit him?”

“He did,” Aiden whined with a nod of his head. He was significantly bigger than Remus (though that wasn’t saying much), and yet he still shifted away when Remus whipped around to face him.

“And I’d do it again!”

“Remus!” Hope scolded, turning him back to face her with a finger under his chin. “Remus John Lupin, that is unacceptable behavior.”

“But mom—”

She held her index finger up and he fell silent with a petulant pout. “We do not solve problems by hitting people, Remus. I don’t know what possessed you to think that was a good idea, but we’re going to have a further conversation at dinner tonight with Dad, alright?”

“A further conversation?” Aiden’s mother seethed. “Just look at my son’s face!”

“Look at mine!” Hope countered. She had to admit, Remus’ scowl made his black eye look quite a bit more intimidating than the swelling near Aiden’s nose. For a scrawny kid, he could pack a punch.

“Alright, I think we’re done here,” Principal Delano sighed. “Thank you both for coming in today. Remus will serve two weeks of detention for injuring another student. I expect better behavior from both of you in the future.”

Hope stared at him. “I beg your pardon?”

“I think he was quite clear,” Aiden’s mother said frostily.

“You’re not even going to let Remus explain? Or punish Aiden as well for hitting him back?”

Principal Delano shrugged. “Aiden was defending himself.”

“He wasn’t!” Remus interrupted before Hope could speak, clutching the arms of the chair. “Aiden was calling Lucy really horrible names and then he hit me after I told him to stop!”

Aiden’s cheeks flushed. “That’s not true—”

“Don’t be a liar—”

“I’m not a liar!” Aiden wailed.

“You were saying bad words to her!” Remus hollered back, just as loud.

“That’s enough!” The boom of the principal’s voice sent all of them into silence. “Remus, two weeks of detention. Aiden, five days of no recess.”

“Five days?” Hope and Aiden’s mother exclaimed at the same time with wildly different tones of voice.

Principal Delano took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Mrs. Jones, it is undeniable that Aiden did, in fact, injure another student. Mrs. Lupin, seeing as your son was the instigator—”

“Have you asked Lucy what happened?” Hope asked. “Considering she’s the one who was apparently being bullied by Aiden in the first place.”

He shook his head. “Let’s not make this any more complex than it has to be.”

“My son isn’t a liar,” she continued, keeping her voice as steady as she could make it. In her periphery, she saw Remus look up in surprise. “Anyone who knows him knows that he is kind to everyone. It’s entirely unbelievable to me that Remus would hit another student unprovoked and then lie about the cause when he already knew he would be punished. He was wrong to resort to physical action but I am appalled by your lack of fairness and attention to the truth, Principal Delano.”

The room was quiet for a moment before he exhaled through his nose. “One and a half weeks of detention for both of the boys for fighting on the playground. That much is undeniable. Thank you for your time.”

Hope kept a hand between Remus’ shoulder blades as he grabbed his backpack and guided him toward the hallway with a bitter tang in her mouth. “Keep your son in line,” Aiden’s mother hissed as the principal’s door closed behind them.

“I could say the same to you,” Hope answered coolly. “At least mine isn’t a bully.”

The cold autumn air outside was a balm on the embers of her fury; unfortunately, the tough part wasn’t over. She waited in the driver’s seat without turning the car on as Remus fiddled with the cuffs of his coat, sneaking glances at her every few seconds. “You’re mad at me,” he finally said, hiding under his floppy bangs.

“I’m not mad. We don’t hit people outside of hockey, Remus.”

“I know.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

“He kept calling her names, even after we told him to stop.” He sniffled, rubbing his forearm under his red nose. “An’—an’ so I yelled at him, but he pushed me, so I punched him in the nose.”

She reached over to smooth the front of his hair out of the way and trail a thumb over his bruised cheekbone. It was hot to the touch and swelling fast. “And then he hit you?”

Remus nodded. “And then I hit him again. It was kind of a lot, to be honest. I think I skinned my knee on the concrete.”

Hope sighed and started the car, pulling out of the parking lot and down the familiar route back to their house. “I’m not going to appeal that detention, because fighting is not allowed, but I’m sorry Principal Delano didn’t listen to you. And I’m sorry you felt like you had to hit Aiden in the first place.”

“He was being so mean. I don’t understand why people say those kinds of things.” He chanced a look at her again before clenching his hands around his sleeves again. “I don’t regret it, mom. Lucy’s my friend.”

“I know, baby.” She kept her eyes on the road and reached over to ruffle his hair. “You’ve got all this justice and nowhere to put it, huh?”

“It got me in trouble.”

“Sometimes justice gets us in trouble,” she agreed. “And that’s really tough to deal with. Next time, try and find a way to beat him without throwing a punch, okay? More people listen if you talk to them.”

“Aiden doesn’t listen.”

“Well, then you talk a little louder. God knows you’ve got a set of lungs in there somewhere.”

He looked at her in suspicion. “Are you telling me to yell?”

“I said no such thing,” she answered with a wink, pulling into the driveway. “Come on, let’s get you some ice for that battle scar.”

Remus slung his backpack over his shoulder once the car was off and began trudging through the thick banks of fallen leaves coating the sidewalk, but Hope reached out and caught his shoulder just before the base of the stairs; he melted into her hug with a hitching breath. “I was so mad,” he said thickly.

She pressed a kiss to the top of his head and rubbed some warmth into his back. “I know, love, I’m sorry.”

“She’s my friend and then nobody would listen and my eye hurts really bad,” he hiccupped, balling his fists in the thick wool of her coat. “I’m still angry.”

“It’s okay to still be angry, Remus.” He sniffled again and she knelt, digging a crumpled tissue out of her pocket to dry his tears and the snot from his nose. Alright, Lupin, time for a Mom Moment. “Things like that happen sometimes. I am so beyond proud of you for standing up for Lucy when she needed help. Hitting him wasn’t the best choice, but everything leading up to that was very mature. The most important thing is knowing that you won’t be angry about this forever.”

He swallowed hard and nodded, bending for one more hug before following her up to the house. “Thanks for coming to get me.”

“Well, it’s not every day I get to show up because my kid got in a rumble at school,” she teased. “Let’s get some soup in you and some ice on you, slugger.”

Remus offered a mischievous grin as he kicked his shoes off. Little menace, she thought with no small amount of pride. “It was a pretty good punch, huh?”

“Good enough to get you two weeks of detention that you get to explain to your father when he gets home.”

[beholdme]

WIP Day!

@starrypaws tagged me <3

Tagging @big-urchin-energy @aghostchoir @platanosandprejudice @mag-118 @solarianvoidthearoace and @nofashinpunk if you're interested!

Snippet from my new JGM au where Gerry is a witch and Jon and Martin work in the Institute that revolves around strange magic and even stranger people.

This scene is from when Gerry and Martin meet for the first time.

The first time Martin ever sees Gerry, it's through the age mottled windows of Memoria, and they're standing at the counter talking to an exhausted-looking woman. Gerry gently hands her a large, hardcover book, covers one of her hands with one of theirs, and Martin watches as all the tension slowly drains out of her.

He's heard of the Morden bookstore where the proprietor can always suggest just the right book, of course, but Martin has always been convinced it was just an overblown rumour.

Still, he can't deny the sudden and complete ease that had overtaken the woman, and the mental image remains with him over the next weeks.

What he would give for a bit of ease.

The next time Martin walks past the store, it's almost midnight and he's supposed to be looking for something for his mother, but he's caught by the soft warm lights of the bookstore, still open despite the late hour.

They're there, the person with their long black hair and eclectic collection of piercings, hands decorated with rings and black polish. They look up at Martin as he lingers before the big windows, and their eyes meet for the first time.

Their eyes are an unusual shade of bright, light green, and Martin can see them clearly, even through the hazy window panes and across the space between them.

Martin feels seen, as if those eyes are gently resting on his soul, instead of his tired, haggard face.

Gerry tilts their head as if inviting him inside, but Martin feels a spike of anxiety rush through him and he takes off, down the street and towards his errand, desperately trying to put the beautiful bookseller out of his jumbled mind.

Those green eyes start to appear in his dreams.

Most of Martin's dreams are less than fun, full of anxiety and fear, but these are soft. Every time one comes, he wakes feeling settled and energetic, ready to face the day.

They start to feel like a lure, guiding Martin's steps back to the bookstore again and again.

He resists going inside, convinced he won't find anything in there he couldn't find at the library. There's no such thing as magic, no miracle booksellers that can hand him just the right tome to bring him some kind of comfort or fulfilment in life, especially not when life is dull and frustrating and dragging, when the weight of his existence pulls down on him every second of every day.

Martin still finds himself in front of the store day after day on his way to work and then again on the long slog of a commute home, and each time it gets a little harder to resist.

"You could come in, you know," comes a warm, smokey voice from behind him.

Martin jumps, turning to find the bookseller there behind him. They're even taller up close, almost six inches taller than Martin's height of 5 foot 7, and they're wearing bold, dark make-up today, green eyes made more piercing by the carefully applied black eyeliner.

He feels his face heat, caught out. He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, looking away before the sight of them renders Martin speechless.

"I… I don't really need any books." He offers lamely.

"Memoria isn't about need," they respond, subtly shifting further into his personal space. "It's about the freedom to want something."

Unlike most people, who tend to leave Martin flustered and vulnerable when they press too close, their presence is far more welcome, their aura comforting and steadying.

"I don't know what I want," Martin admits, shivering in the cold autumn air.

"Tea?" They offer, stepping up into the doorway and holding the door cracked open.

Martin almost says yes, Martin burns to say yes, but instead he shakes his head, pushing back inexplicable tears as he turns and rushes away, away from hope and freedom and towards the unchanging monotony of his everyday life, just work, and mom, and bills, repeat.

And repeat.

And repeat.

Hope is dangerous. Martin can't afford it.

It's an unexpected rainstorm that finally sweeps him in, the sky opening up in a deluge at just the right moment that the bookstore is the closest open place, and Martin is totally unprepared to deal with it in any other way than to throw himself inside, shutting the door behind him as quickly as possible.

He breathes in a big sigh of relief to be out of the rain, before remembering his previous encounter with the bookseller and burning with shame. He almost throws himself back out into the rain, but they appear behind the counter at the very moment, and Martin doesn't want to compound his terrible behavior by repeating it.

"Good evening," they say politely. "Bit damp out there, isn't it?"

Martin laughs awkwardly, stepping further into the store. It's warm, the air dry and comforting against his damp skin. "Yeah, feels like it came out of nowhere though."

He catches sight of a large clock on the wall, and blinks when he realises that it's past 11pm.

"Oh, I, ah, I'm so sorry, I didn't realise it was so late, you must be closed."

"Must I? Is there some law that says I have to be closed when a cute boy needs shelter from the elements?" They offer a warm, flirtatious smile, leaning on the counter casually.

Martin blushes from the roots of his hair and all the way down to his toes, burning at the completely unexpected compliment. Not only is he decidedly not cute, at the best of times, being recently drenched and looking half drowned certainly wouldn't help the situation.

"I, um…" he takes a deep breath, "Well, as long as I'm not keeping you?"

"Don't worry, I'm not particularly fond of the rain myself. Stay as long as you like." They gesture at the stacks, shelves stuffed full of books in every shape, size and type imaginable. "Looking for anything in particular?"

Martin shakes his head. "I actually work in a library."

"Really? What kind?"

"Well, it's an academic library in a research institution, so it's not like they have many fiction books laying around, but I keep myself entertained."

"I bet you do. You're a bit of the independent sort, aren't you?" They step out from behind the counter, casually (carefully) moving towards him.

Martin's eyes widen. "I live with my mother," he blurts out, starting to tremble slightly from nerves and his wet clothes.

Their eyebrows raise questioningly. "In my experience, mothers are far more work than any 'independence'. That's just my bias speaking though."

"I'm Martin," he blurts out, wanting to talk about anything other than his mother, though he had brought her up. "Martin Blackwood, that is."

They offer a wide smirk, lip piercing flashing in the warm lighting. They offer a hand. "I'm Gerry Delano."

Martin shakes their hand firmly, and finds their grip confident without any aggression. Gerry takes the opportunity to take another step into his personal space. This close up and in an enclosed environment, Martin can smell them, a mix of old paper and black ink, combined with the sweet floral of jasmine. It takes him aback, the contrast is so wild and unexpected.

Martin sways towards them, making no move to step away or extract himself, at ease and not willing to risk breaking the little bubble he's found himself in, even if it is with a handsome stranger.

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 65 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Chapter 65 seems like a good time to tell you that there’s nothing we love more than talking to you guys about this story! We are both on tumblr (@theartificialdane and @veronicasanders) and we’d love to hear from you!! We also have other Galactica content there under the “galactica” and “galactica wardrobe” tags. XOXO!! Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: Bianca threw a wrench in the annual holiday party when she brought Courtney as her date, and Katya tried to (not) deal with her surprise pregnancy.

This Chapter: Miss Fame and the team work on the final lineup for the spring runway, and Katya figures some things out.

***

It was Violet’s luck that she was a light sleeper, the first note of her alarm barely ringing before she had grabbed her phone from under her pillow and turned it off.

There really wasn't a need for Violet to wake up at 6, for her to start her day so early since she couldn’t go to the gym because of her ankle, but habits were hard to break, and she liked how quiet the world was in the morning, how it felt like she was the only one awake.

She wasn’t hungover, had barely had a drink because of her crutches, but she had a feeling all of her coworkers would be wearing sunglasses and asking each other to shut up, the Friday after the Christmas party always an experience.

Sutan’s bedroom was dark, his curtains swallowing the ever present lights of Harlem, the man asleep next to her, his head resting on his pillow.

It took everything in Violet not to reach out and run her fingers through his hair.

She had been so annoyed with him last night, so uncomfortable in the beautiful red dress she had bought with his money, the simmering anger not leaving her until she had felt Sutan’s clever fingers undo the zipper on her back, skin against skin finally freeing her from the smoldering fire.

“Stop staring at me.” Violet froze, Sutan’s voice deep with sleep.

“I’m not.”

“Oh?” Sutan cracked an eye open, a smile playing on his lips as he reached out, grabbing her hip on top of her blanket. “Could have fooled me.”

“Well,” Violet smiled back, allowing him to pull her in, “Maybe I was. A little bit.”

***

As her alarm sounded, Courtney groaned, burying her head into Bianca’s neck. Bianca laughed, reaching over to hit snooze, giving them a few more precious minutes in bed before Courtney had to get up.

Bianca had never been much of a morning person, but she’d discovered that, in many ways, this was her favorite part of the day. When the world was dark and still, and they were curled together under the covers, naked and warm. She trailed her fingers up and down Courtney’s back, pressed a kiss to her temple.

“You okay, sunshine?” Bianca asked.

“Mmmhmm...I just don’t want to go to work.”

Bianca smiled, one hand settling into the curve of Courtney’s waist, enjoying the way they fit so perfectly together.

“Then don’t,” she stated, warming up to the idea of taking a day off, just the two of them. “Call in sick.”

“I wish,” Courtney scoffed, a deep sigh leaving her. “But I can’t, so…”

“Why not?”

“The day after a party? Everyone will think I have some crazy hangover.”

“Yeah, so?” Bianca laughed.

“Plus, I’m pretty sure Miss Fame is less than pleased with me right now. I don’t want to give her any reason to be annoyed. And there’s a big meeting to decide on the spring runway, and I have to-”

“Alright, alright...forget I suggested it,” Bianca said, holding up her hands in surrender. “I just really liked the idea of spending all day in bed with you.”

Courtney raised herself up on her elbow, gazing down at Bianca with a dreamy smile on her face.

“Maybe, um...can we do that tomorrow?”

“You’re on, angel,” Bianca said, reaching up to run her fingers through her hair.

“And...we still have about seven minutes before the alarm goes off again.” Courtney brushed her lips against Bianca’s neck, murmuring, “You wanna go back to sleep, or…?”

“Hmmm...” Bianca cocked her head, pretending to think. “I may have some other ideas…”

Courtney let out a delighted squeal as Bianca flipped her onto her back with a wicked grin.

***

Maxwell groaned as a loud clatter sounded through the design floor.

“Sorry!” Kiara whisper-shouted, quickly picking up the pair of scissors she had dropped. Trixie had gone to the department head meeting about 20 minutes ago, which meant that everyone had given up the pretense that they were working. Alexis had gone straight for the couch to take a nap as soon as the door had closed behind him, April still nursing a terrible-looking green smoothie at her desk. “Sorry everyone!”

“Don’t even think about it girl!” Bob smiled, his phone pressed between his shoulder and his ear, and Maxwell groaned again, sliding down so he could rest his head on his arms, Bob chatting away.

He loved his boyfriend, he really did, but there were few things more annoying than when Bob had managed to get into any tabloid, the perceived fame of it always going directly to his head. And of course, it was made even worse by his friends and family back home in Georgia playing right into it, acting as if it meant anything at all.

“Listen, I didn’t ask to be born fabulous, but it’s my cross to bear, and I’m-” Bob laughed, adding, “Exactly!”

“He’s really getting into it, huh?” Maxwell looked up to see Violet standing next to his desk, looking over at Bob, Jovan at her side holding three cups of coffee.

“Here,” Jovan smiled, giving one of them to Maxwell, the scent filling his nose.

“Oh god I love you,” Maxwell grinned, taking the liquid magic. It was probably not healthy to be on his third cup already, but he didn’t care.

“Love you too boo,” Jovan grinned, taking a seat on the edge of his desk, Violet doing the same, balancing her crutch so she could take her own cup. They didn’t talk, and Maxwell loved that, Violet fitting so nicely into their little boys club that he barely even thought about the fact that she was a girl and straight most days.

***

“Pearl! Pay attention!”

Pearl snapped out of it, the wheels of her chair squeaking as she moved, her eyes wide open at the commanding tone in Fame’s voice.

“Sorry!” Pearl sat up straight, Bendela hiding a snicker behind a sketchbook, her brown eyes clearly filled with delight over Pearl getting reprimanded.

“God,” Fame rolled her eyes, her hand on her hip, her outfit of the day a white cropped cashmere sweater and white linen high waisted pants, her blonde hair in a high delicate updo, a golden belt snug around her waist. “Did anyone come to work today?”

If they had been alone, Pearl would have opened her mouth to point out that she was the one who always arranged for the Christmas party to be on a Thursday, but they weren’t, so Pearl kept her mouth shut.

“Fame,” Raja’s voice was warm, and it apparently functioned just as intended, her tone a soothing balm on whatever had Fame into such a tizzy. “We’re almost done.”

If Pearl had to make an educated guess, she’d say it was probably the whole Courtney and Bianca thing, though it could be anything from her breakfast grapefruit not being ripe to morning traffic to a photographer catching a bad angle of her last night.

“You’re right,” Fame sat back down, sliding her chair over to Trixie. “So, fourth look. What do you have?”

“I was thinking about these pants?” Trixie held out a sketch, and Pearl folded her hands over her stomach, watching her best friend do his job exceptionally well.

Fame tapped her fingers against the table, french tips hitting the wood and Pearl made a mental note to see if she could sneak in a visit to Fame’s office, providing their boss with an orgasm before lunch a great Christmas gift to everyone in the company.

***

V-List Alert: BDR’s Latest Blonde Bombshell

[Pictured: A large photo of Bianca and Courtney kissing on the red carpet, along with a few smaller shots of them looking giggly and affectionate. And lastly, a grainy, low-res photo of them on the street after the event, kissing while a driver is opening the car door.]

Well, well, well…

Okay, so to begin with, let’s all admit that BDR showing up on a red carpet with some sweet young thing is nothing new. In fact, it would be strange if she didn’t. But the shameless PDA last night at Galactica’s annual Christmas party—both on and off the carpet—had us wondering...who the hell is the new paramour?

We did a bit of digging and strap in kids, cause it gets juicy…

Turns out that this little darling is named Courtney Jenek. Sound familiar? No? Yeah it shouldn’t. But she happens to have two very interesting connections to BDR: 1, apparently she’s friends with B’s baby sister, princess of the underground punk scene Adore Delano. And 2, even more hilariously, Lil Courtney here is the Executive Assistant to none other than Miss Fame of Galactica.

Wonder what the illustrious and brand-conscious Miss Fame thinks of her bestie using her staff in what appears to be an extremely filthy unprofessional way? And how’s it all gonna play out?

We can’t wait to watch this drama unfold…

***

As Courtney slipped on her coat and grabbed her bag to head downstairs for yet another coffee run, she glanced at her personal phone, laughing to herself when she saw the 17 missed calls from Morgan. She scrolled through the text messages in the elevator.

MORGAN: COURTNEYYYYYYYY!!!

MORGAN: OMG PICK UP

MORGAN: WERE YOU PLANNING TO TELL US YOU’RE FUCKING BIANCA DEL RIO?????

TYRA: She’s WHAT

ADORE: You guys didn’t know? ;)

TATIANNA: Yawn, old news :p

MORGAN: BITCH

MORGAN: COURTNEY I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON’T PICK UP

MORGAN: COURTNEYCOURTNEYCOURTNEYCOURTNEYCOURTNEY

Courtney called her back, laughing some more when she picked up even before the first ring.

“You know I’m working, right?”

“I am going to murder you,” Morgan announced.

“Wow Morgan. A hate crime? I really thought more highly of you,” Courtney replied with a giggle.

“Omigod, shut up! How could you not have told me already?!”

“Well...I don’t know, I wasn’t sure what it was at first-” she said.

“It’s still fucking major!” Morgan laughed. “I guess it makes sense, though. God, you always chose the worst men.”

Courtney chuckled, nodding as she exited the elevator and headed for the coffee shop.

“So what did your parents say?”

“Uhhh...I haven’t exactly told them yet.”

“Courtney!”

“What? It’s not gonna be dramatic or anything, you know my brother’s gay.”

“Omigod, Court, you absolute idiot. You have to-”

“One sec.” Courtney lowered her phone to give the orders for the meeting, then went back to the phone. “Sorry, I’m on a coffee run.”

“Yeah, I heard. Listen, Courtney, you have to tell them! Do you really want them to find out that you’re dating a woman who’s almost twice your age from a fucking tabloid?”

“I don’t think my parents subscribe to American fashion blogs.”

“Did you even read the link I sent you?! Someone’s gonna send it to them, trust me.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll tell them,” Courtney told her with an eye roll. She really didn’t see the big deal though; telling her parents was the last thing on her list of worries at the moment.

“Also…” Morgan’s voice lowered, taking on a sing-song, teasing tone now that the business was out of the way, “When are we hanging out? ‘Cause you know I absolutely need all the sordid details.”

“Soon, I promise.”

“Tomorrow night?”

“I’m kind of busy tomorrow,” Courtney admitted.

“Busy getting railed, you mean?”

“Maybe…”

“Ha, you slag.”

***

Maybe she was avoiding going home. That was certainly possible. But on Friday, Katya just seemed to keep finding things to do to prepare for the next week of school. It would be their last week before winter break, so she knew that any kind of serious learning would be difficult. Rather than spend her time fighting with the kids to focus when they just weren’t capable of it, she planned as many fun projects as possible, and though a lot of them were old hat for her by now, the prep work never seemed to end.

Which is why, when Jasmine, the woman who ran the afterschool program, came to her door at almost 6:45, she was still there.

“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you…”

“It’s no bother, come on in,” Katya said, a big smile on her face, especially when she saw that Jasmine had Grace with her--one of Katya’s favorite students.

“You know we close at 6, and Grace’s mom is running late today,” Jasmine said. Her tone of voice was light and cheerful, but her eyes told Katya a different story--that this wasn’t the first time it had happened, and that she was likely furious. “I gotta get home, and Dani’s out with the flu, so...do you mind keeping her here until Leslie shows up? It should be soon, she texted me ten minutes ago that she’s on the way.”

“No problem. We’ll have a great time, won’t we Grace?”

The little girl nodded, skipping into the classroom happily.

“You’re a lifesaver,” Jasmine said. “Thank you!”

Katya turned to Grace, who had dumped her jacket and backpack on the rug and was already prowling around the book bins, likely looking for her favorite Junie B. Jones stories. Soon, the two of them were settled into bean bag chairs in the comfy zone, Katya reading a few chapters out loud to her before realizing that she was probably hungry and suggesting a snack. Grace was just finishing her juice box and goldfish crackers when her young mother, Leslie, came rushing inside, harried and out of breath, apologizing profusely.

“Mama!” Grace jumped up from her seat at the little table, knocking the chair over in her excitement to leap into her mom’s arms. She hugged her tightly, face buried in her neck, and Katya could see some of the tension in Leslie’s face melt away.

Katya stood up from her own seat, picking up the book they’d been reading.

“I’m gonna put this book in Grace’s backpack so that you can finish it together this weekend,” she said, and Leslie shot her a look of pure gratitude, nodding.

“Grace, can you say thank you to Mrs. Zamo?”

“Thank you Mrs. Zamo!” she echoed cheerfully, taking the backpack and her jacket as Leslie dropped a kiss to the top of her head.

“Honey, can you go wait for me on the bench for a minute?” she asked, tugging gently on one of her pigtails.

“Okay!”

As Grace skipped into the hallway to wait, Leslie turned to Katya, tears filling her eyes.

“I’m really so sorry about being late, I-”

“It’s okay,” Katya said, head tilted sympathetically. “I get it, things happen.”

“It’s been happening all week. I got this new job, and the hours are so tough and the commute is shit, but it’s an extra two dollars an hour and I can’t say no to that. But I just feel like...I feel like I can’t do anything right.”

“I understand,” Katya nodded, putting a hand on her arm. The truth was, though, she didn’t understand. Not really. She’d never been in a position where an extra two dollars an hour would make such a big difference in her life--not even when her dad cut her off. She’d always had money, and by the time her trust fund was depleted, she was living with Trixie, whose generous salary more than covered what they needed, her meager teacher’s salary mostly paying for fun extras, keeping them entertained and living their best lives, or just going in the bank.

She knew she was lucky, but until that moment, seeing the pain in Leslie’s eyes, the fear that she was failing at life and failing her child, maybe she didn’t understand just how lucky.

“I was sitting on the bus thinking about her waiting and waiting, wondering where I was.”

“Can I tell you something?” she asked softly. “Grace didn’t care that you were late, she was just happy to see you when you got here, because it’s really obvious what a good mom you are.”

“Sometimes I feel like the worst mom ever,” Leslie admitted, tears spilling down her cheeks.

“No way. Grace is an amazing kid. She’s smart and kind and enthusiastic--and it’s totally okay if you need some more help. That’s what all of us are here for. I can talk to Jasmine about maybe extending the hours next week, until you can get your schedule sorted. Or maybe Grace can go home with Joey’s mom...don’t you all live in the same building?”

Leslie nodded, a deep sigh leaving her. “Thanks, that’s a good idea. I...I’ll figure it out.”

“Okay. Just remember that you’re not in this alone, you know?” Katya handed over a box of tissues from her desk.

“Yeah. Thanks. Sorry, I-” Leslie wiped her eyes.

“Don’t be sorry,” Katya said, giving her a warm hug.

***

“Oh god!” Gigi groaned, pushing the door to the modeling apartment open, her shoulders aching, her fingertips numb. “Finally!” She dumped her bags down in the hallway, slumping against the wall.

She had been around the town with Sutan all day, shopping for what he called a model wardrobe, Gigi trying on several pairs of heels and flats, her new backpack and purse stuffed with a newly printed book and her brand new phone, their last stop of the day Gigi’s new gym that was just around the corner.

“Gigi?” Bimini popped her head out of the kitchen door, the golden rim around her eyes and her crimped hair clear indicators that meant she had been shooting, Bimini rarely bothering with removing hair and makeup on set. “Welcome home sweetie! How did it go?”

“I’m exhausted!” Gigi pushed out from the wall and kicked her sneakers off. “Who knew shopping could be that hard?”

Gigi heard Symone giggle, her friend sitting at the table and painting her nails, the apartment's newest arrival chopping vegetables for whatever vegan crock pot Bimini was cooking for everyone. They had someone new arrive every couple of days, most girls only staying for a night or two in the bunk beds in what Naomi had dubbed the summer camp room before they were shipped off again if they didn’t interest any of the agents.

“I told you, didn’t I?”

“I know,” Gigi groaned, dumping down in a chair to rest her aching feet, “but I thought you were kidding.” Symone had gone on the trip two weeks ago, her Instagram exploding with content now that she had a brand new phone to post with.

“Did he give you the drink speech too?”

She had eaten lunch with Sutan at an awkwardly fancy restaurant, three sets of cutlery surrounding her plate, her manager going through each set as well as her wine glasses, explaining it to her. Gigi’s mom had always insisted on good manners, but it hadn’t been anything like that.

“The ‘never leave your drink unattended’ one, I mean.”

“Mmh,” Gigi nodded. “The whole entire speech.”

She hoped it’d be unnecessary, but Sutan had run her through what he called the basic safety procedures like putting a hand or a napkin over her glass when she wasn’t paying attention, her manager drilling it into her skull that she shouldn’t accept poured drinks or opened bottles from strangers in clubs unless she saw the bartender prepare it.

“Is he seriously doing all that?” Naomi raised an eyebrow. “So far, all my agent has told me is that if I showed up in any tabloid looking messy, he’d drop my ass.”

Suddenly, Sutan’s mothering didn’t feel as smothering, the attention and assistance the man had poured over her nothing compared to the terrifying thought of being left basically on her own like Naomi.

***

At first, Katya wasn’t sure why she stopped at Macy’s on the way home. Especially now, on a Friday night during the holiday season, when the sales clerks were at their most frazzled.

She wandered around, unable to get Grace and Leslie out of her mind...and in particular, the look of pure joy on Grace’s face when her mother appeared in the doorway. Leslie was a single mom, and by the look of her, she was pretty young, but she had managed to raise an exceptional kid who was sure how much she was loved.

Why was Katya so afraid of having a baby? It was like she’d told Leslie--she wouldn’t be doing it alone. Not by a long shot. No, she was fortunate to have the most wonderful man in the universe by her side. And lord knew, Trixie would make up for any maternal instincts she may lack herself. And plenty of people, people much less capable and loving than her, had babies every day.

She stopped, looking around, realizing that she’d found herself in the baby department. Specifically, in front of a shelf full of tiny little infant shoes. She smiled to herself, knowing exactly what she needed.

When she arrived home, she was thrilled to see that Trixie had prepared dinner, heating up some leftover chicken and mashed potatoes and throwing together a salad--exactly what she was in the mood for.

She smiled when she saw him, announcing, “I brought you a present.”

Trixie’s face lit up, and for a split second she could imagine that exact same expression of joy on a tiny child, the thought making her insides warm as she handed him the little bag.

He looked inside, where the two tiny pink moccasin slippers sat in their plastic box, his head then snapping up to look at her with an expression of amazement.

“Kat, are you-” His eyes were bright with tears, hopeful but still a bit tentative.

She shrugged slightly, self-consciously, afraid to say what she’s been thinking out loud, but Trixie seemed to know anyway.

He rushed forward and swept her up into the biggest, tightest hug she’d ever had, repeating over and over how wonderful she was going to be. She took his face in her hands, kissing his tear-stained cheeks, finally sure that as a team, they could do it.

[windscattered]

Previously

Orlando tensed, ready for sudden movements. Slowly, he looked to Daniel, to measure his reaction to figure out the next move.

Daniel looked horrified. His face had fallen pale and his posture was like a cornered animal’s. Just when Orlando thought he’d faint, his eyes slowly looked down and glazed over, his shoulders drooping in utter defeat.

Orlando decided to try and salvage this. “I am not sure what you’re thinking, but I’m here to just pick up some stuff…” Orlando hesitated. Should he use Daniel’s real name? “... he donated to charity,” Orlando said, putting on his just-a-regular-citizen voice. “Yesterday he donated a coffee maker and a microwave, today it’s some clothes he doesn’t wear anymore.”

The woman’s eyes snapped to Orlando and he immediately understood why Daniel looked so terrified. Her gaze felt like a hawk zeroing in on a mouse. “And who are you?”

Good thing Orlando had learned to mask his emotions from a young age. “My name is Basil. I work for Christine’s Shelter for the Homeless.”

The woman raised her eyebrows. “Mm. And you were here yesterday as well?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The woman smiled, sickeningly sweet and hiding a dangerous edge. “Interesting. And why did you feel the need to shut my security cameras off while you were here?”

Orlando put a confused look on his face. “The cameras? I… I’m afraid I have no idea what that’s about.”

She narrowed her eyes and stared at Orlando for a long time. “Leave,” she said coldly. “Or I’ll call the police on you.”

“Okay, sheesh,” Orlando said, pretending to be surprised and only slightly peeved. “No need to get so testy.” He left the house and let the brief disguise drop.

This was bad. If the woman was anything like Orlando knew abusive people to be, she would tighten her grip on Daniel now that she’s witnessed an escape attempt. Orlando did manage to play it off as something else, but he was fairly sure she hadn’t bought it. Only an idiot would have looked at the scene right at the front door and thought it was nothing but illicit. Orlando’s stomach twisted as he thought how the woman would treat Daniel from now on… He felt awful for having to leave Daniel there for one more day, but it was either that or risk getting arrested.

Orlando racked his brain for a new plan. Now he not only had to sneak Daniel out of the house, he had to make sure the woman wouldn’t track them down and find him again. Of course, it was surprisingly easy to disappear into the lower levels and be almost completely untracked. Orlando had an advantage in this, since he’s been trained since childhood to track other people while avoiding to be tracked himself.

The hardest part, however, would be getting Daniel and Fang out of the house… The only way Orlando saw how to do that was to wait until the woman was at work and then try again, while hoping it’d work this time.

Orlando sighed and rubbed his forehead. 

As soon as Orlando got home, he texted Daniel, asking if he was okay and reassuring him he was willing to try again if he needed to. He didn’t get an answer in a few days.

On the third day, he finally got a response.

Daniel: Hey sorry for that

Orlando scrambled to reply as fast as he could.

Me: Don’t worry about it! Are you okay?

Daniel: This isnt delano tho sorry

Daniel: This is the guy with the mohawk do you remember me

Me: Oh, yes, I do

Daniel: My names adriano btw

Daniel: Anyway delanos… hes not fine

Daniel: Delanos like… idk how to describe it its like he gave up on escaping its like hes just going to accept that this is his life now

Daniel: Its scary as fuck dude

Daniel: Mom took his phone away like hes a teenager thats so fucking messed up

Daniel: I stole his phone back but he insisted i have it just in case

Daniel: Im fucking terrified moms literally holding him as a prisoner here

Daniel: I never knew mom could do something like this

Daniel: We cant stay here

Daniel: You gotta help us

The texts popped up one after another in rapid succession. Orlando waited until he was done.

Me: Okay. Let me make some things clear. Does Delano still want out?

Daniel: Idk man he’s so defeated

Daniel: Im going to drag him out tho

Daniel: My moms a psycho this place is killing him

Me: Alright. I’ll drag him out too, if you want me to

Daniel: Why is that even a question of course i want you to get us the fuck out of here

Daniel: Theres no way i can trust mom again now that ive seen what shes really like

Me: Of course. And you want to come along too?

Daniel: Yeah

Orlando frowned. Hiding two people and a dog might be tricky. But he would at least try.

Me: I’ll do what I can

Daniel: Delano said you need to talk to lillith

Orlando frowned. Lillith? The founder of the Sex Workers’ Union? The Queen of the Low Levels? Wait, why was Orlando surprised that Daniel knew her? Daniel was a sex worker, of course he would belong in the Union.

Contacting Lillith would be a good call, though. She was notoriously protective of sex workers. If they were lucky, she could help with this situation… 

Me: I’ll do that. Thank you

Me: I’ll contact you when I have a plan

Me: Try to hold on until then

Daniel: Thank you

Daniel: Well do our best

Orlando had worked for Lillith a few times before, but he didn’t know her personally. He had to wonder if she would respond well to him asking a favour, as he wasn’t a part of the union. Figuring he had to at least try, he sent Lillith a text.

Me: Hello, Miss Lillith. I am contacting you today on behalf of one of your workers. He is currently held against his will by an abusive person and he needs help getting out. He and I both would appreciate your help.

Lillith took a short time to reply.

Miss Lilly: What’s the worker’s name? Do you have an address?

Me: I believe his name is Delano

Orlando also sent the address to her.

Miss Lilly: Jesus fucking christ

Miss Lilly: He just had to go piss of that bitch out of all people

Me: What do you mean?

Miss Lilly: It’s going to be bitch and a half busting him out, is what I mean

Miss Lilly: I’ve heard rumours that this woman has no chill

Orlando thought back when she had looked at him when he had been at her house. He could believe that.

Me: I am not surprised

Miss Lilly: Yeah. I need more info on the sitch. Can I text Delano? Does he have his phone?

Me: His phone is secured, but he doesn’t have access to it. You can text the number and get an answer, though

Miss Lilly: Wdym? Who has his phone?

Me: We can trust him. He’s also stuck in the house with Delano. We need to get him out as well

Miss Lilly: So there’s two people we need to get out?

Me: Two people and a dog

Miss Lilly: Hmm. It’s going to be tricky, but possible

Miss Lilly: How much stuff are they going to have?

Me: I got most of Delano’s stuff out, so only a little of his, but most of Adriano’s. I believe he has a guitar that he’s going to want to take along.

Me: Delano also has a broken arm at the moment

Miss Lilly: God damn

Miss Lilly: Okay. No panic. I have a plan

***

And so, a few days later, Orlando was headed back to the house, with four sex workers (Ana, Sara, Jessie and Rosa, as Orlando learned) sent by Lillith. “To help carry stuff,” one of them had explained. Orlando hadn’t complained.

“How do we know she won’t appear to interrupt us again?” Orlando asked, while the group were in an elevator, on their way to the upper levels.

“Lils got it,” Jessie said.

“If Lils says she got it, she got it,” Sara agreed.

“We trust Lils,” Rosa said with a nod.

Orlando nodded slowly. He supposed he should trust her too, then.

The group arrived at the house and put on masks that would scramble their faces on any cameras that caught them.

“Let’s go, girls,” Ana said with a grin. “And boy, I guess.”

The group marched to the door and rang the doorbell before Orlando could protest.

“Relax, we’re wearing masks,” Jessie said, waving her hand.

“Yes, but I’d still like to avoid getting caught on security cameras,” Orlando muttered as Rosa hammered the doorbell.

The door opened and Adriano was behind it, looking irritated. “For fuck’s sake, I heard you the fir…” he trailed off as Rosa and Ana screamed.

“Oh my gawd, you’re cuuute!”

Adriano flushed up to his ears, immediately matching his hair. He looked like he was panicking as his eyes landed on Orlando. “Be… BG?”

“It’s me,” Orlando said with a sheepish smile that Adriano didn’t even see. “I got some extra help with me this time.”

“Alright…”  Adriano let the group in.

“Jesus christ, this place is fancy as shit,” Sara said as they stepped in.

“God daaaamn,” Ana breathed. “I wouldn’t mind switching places with Delano.”

“Why did you bring sex workers here?” Adriano whispered to Orlando.

“They’re here to help,” Orlando whispered back. “Be respectful.”

Daniel appeared and the girls screamed. “DELANOOOO!”

Daniel looked like a deer in the headlights as the girls rushed him, all talking over each other.

“Where have you been?”

“I missed youuu!”

“When did you get a sugar daddy?” 

“Can I have him once you’re done with him?”

Adriano stared at this unfolding with utter disbelief.

Orlando clapped his hands to gain everyone’s attention. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but we’re on a schedule here.”

“Agreed,” Jessie said. “Let’s get a move on. We can talk while walking. Where’s your stuff?”

So the group dispersed to gather the luggage they needed, spiced with chaotic chattering from the girls.

“Can we steal something?”

“We should steal something!”

“I really don’t care if you do,” Adriano said.

“Oh shit, really?!” Rosa said, eyes wide. “I was just joking!”

“Go fucking nuts,” Adriano said, “cause as much grief to her as you can.”

The girls exchanged looks. “Let’s steal her shampoo!” They ran off. Adriano followed, for some reason.

“Jesus christ,” Delano sighed.

“Everything okay?” Orlando asked.

“Yeah,” Delano said. “Just overwhelmed. I haven’t even thought about sex work for the whole time I’ve been here. It all feels so distant now.”

Orlando nodded slowly. “Are you going to continue doing it once you’re free?”

Delano was quiet for a moment. Just as he drew a breath to answer, the girls and Adriano returned.

“Thanks for letting us rob your mom, sweetie,” Sara said, pinching Adriano’s cheek. “We don’t have to buy skincare for a few weeks now.”

Adriano was blushing again. “No problem.”

As the groups got ready to leave again, Orlando noticed that Delano freezed. “What’s wrong?”

Delano shifted his weight. “I… I just have a bad feeling, is all.”

Orlando nodded again. Last time they had gotten this far, their plan had failed at this same step.

“Don’t worry,” Jessie grinned, giving him a thumbs-up. “Lils said she’s making sure we’ll get to the lower levels safely.”

“Yeah, trust Lils,” Ana said.

Delano looked down at Fang on her leash, who was looking up at him, tail wagging. Finally, Delano nodded and looked back up at the group. “Let’s go.”

[schmergo]

I just saw the most interesting production of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast last week at a small professional theatre in Northern Virginia called Creative Cauldron. I don’t usually write about shows that my friends won’t get to see (this one has closed), but this one was such an exciting little surprise that I have to put this out there.

This theatre is a black box. The other show I’ve seen there only had five actors and they seemed to fill up the space. How on earth, I wondered, could they put on a big spectacle show like Beauty and the Beast?

Ultimately, I left the theatre not entirely convinced that the show worked in such a tight space, yet its strongest elements were so powerful, creative, and memorable that they made the clumsy bits of staging feel less significant.

I don’t want to get into what I feel the shortcomings were because people involved in the production might read this, but I will say that not all aspects of characterization, staging, and costume/prop design were fitting for the small space, where details and sight lines are key. The production was definitely strongest when it kept things more minimal and abstract. I was delighted by the last verse of a “Be Our Guest” that ended not with a giant kick line but black light and choreographed movement with white gloves. Household objects’ clever costumes were less bulky and limited movement less than most productions, which made for a highly energetic ensemble. Lighting alone effectively conveyed a forest, and a children’s ensemble played objects ranging from Maurice’s invention to wolves. I loved the versatility of the set’s design, consisting of many bookcases that can be slid aside to reveal passages, occasionally blocked by wrought-iron glass-covered gates with a rose motif.

These gates played a role in one of the best scenes of the musical, in which the Beast discovers Maurice in his castle. Instead of immediately entering the scene, he presses his twisted face against the glass gates, bathed in red light, skulking from panel to panel and reappearing each time with the suddenness of a horror movie jump scare. I haven’t been so scared of the Beast since I was a toddler.

That brings me to the best thing about the show, the reason I would have gladly paid over twice the admission price to see it despite its inconsistency: the two title roles. I’m not exaggerating when I say this Belle and Beast are my favorites I’ve seen in any live production of Beauty and the Beast (of which I’ve seen many). I’d seen both actors in smaller roles in larger productions before- Eleanor Todd (Belle) as an ensemble member in Camelot at STC, Wyn Delano (Beast) as a very memorable Steward in Ford’s Theatre’s Into the Woods, and it was awesome to see them shine in the spotlight here.

Todd made Belle feel more real and present than I’ve ever seen before with an intimate portrayal that perfectly fit the small space. She didn’t use a cutesy “princess voice.” She was sensitive, smart, thoughtful, decisive, refreshingly modern and surprisingly funny. Each subtle expression of her eye or twitch of the corner of her mouth reflected the thoughts Belle was too polite to express (I loved watching her internally screaming while Gaston sang about how many children they’d have, awkwardly clutching her watering can like a talisman to ward him off). She acted her way through her ballads in a way that made them feel fresh and new- and wow, what a voice, clear and warm and totally worthy of a princess. Her Belle is so likable that you feel like she’s your best friend confiding in you, and it’s easy to see why the Beast fell in love with her so easily.

I can’t say enough about Delano’s portrayal of the Beast or the design of his costume, and really, the two go hand in hand. That’s a character that I’ve always loved and yet I usually feel let down when I see Beauty and the Beast onstage because the elaborate prosthetics make it tricky to show much expression. No matter how high the budget, they never look quite right. Seeing a production image of Delano in character is what prompted me to buy a ticket. Rather than wearing a mask, elaborate makeup, or a giant muscle suit, his Beast wears two streaks of black paint below his eyes, furry gloves with long scary claws, and a long cloak. The rest is up to Delano himself. He contorts his face and hunches his shoulders, roars and growls. His own long hair serves him well as both a Beast and a Prince, and his expressive eyes do a huge amount of the characterization for him. He’s extraordinary.

As I mentioned before, his Beast is terrifying at the beginning, and his deep voice and abrupt movements were so scary that I kept flinching at his outbursts. He paces, storms, recoils, leaps from furniture, yet he’s also intensely anxious and self-conscious and it’s easy to see how these traits motivate his behavior. I didn’t think he’d be able to do the sweet and romantic side of the Beast as well, but he did, adorably and goofily awkward. He holds Belle during their dance like he’s afraid he’s going to break her. There’s something of the little boy in his Beast, which works especially well because this production cast a member of the children’s ensemble as the young prince in the prologue. “Gosh,” you think. “The Enchantress cursed a little boy. He went through puberty in a monster’s body. No wonder he’s so messed up.”

The young actor who played the Prince in the prologue also helped the Beast transform into a human, washing his face and removing his claws and cloak, while Delano did the work of showing his bone structure shifting and changing. It was a beautiful moment to see his younger self’s almost tearful expression while setting his older self free. I’ve seen that scene done with dazzling special effects but never with the same emotion. Delano barely looks any different after the transformation but the way he carries himself is almost unrecognizable.

He’s just as powerful a singer as an actor. When he sang his sad reprise of “If I Can’t Love Her” near the end of the show, he sat on the steps right next to me and the intensity of his singing moved me to tears. I may or may not have been in his spotlight. If I was, the audience got to see me stare at him and ugly cry.

I also want to give a special shout out to the children’s ensemble, especially the little girl who played the Enchanted Rose, here a wordless confidante who wistfully reacts to the Beast’s ranting and singing. “I don’t like this any more than you do,” her eyes seem to say as she drops petals. Full disclosure: this actress went to the drama camp that I worked at three years ago, and I recognized her at once because she was a memorable performer even then. I’m super proud of her!

Seeing this show made me look at some of my favorite Disney characters and songs in a whole new light. If you ever see Eleanor Todd or Wyn Delano cast in a major role in the future, GO SEE IT!

[gaymusicchart]

GAY MUSIC CHART - 2018 week 35

 Thanks to all the candidates to help us to make Gay Music Chart in the futur. We will contact you this week to see if you are still interested  to collaborate with us. We will respond you next your previous message on Gay Music Chart week 28 or by email when we've got it.

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 Here is the recap for this week :

 OUT : Madblush – Homophobic (LW: 16 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 12)

OUT : Troye Sivan - Bloom (LW: 34 / WO: 16 / PEAK: 01 (x5))

OUT : Kim Petras - Heart to Break (LW: 37 / WO: 20 / PEAK: 02)

OUT : Jake Shears - "Big Bushy Mustache" (LW: 39 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 39)

OUT : はるな愛 Ai Haruna -「BONダンス」(LW: 40 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 40)

OUT : Big Freedia feat. Lizzo - "Karaoke" (LW: 41 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 41)

OUT : Hercules & Love Affair feat. Mashrou' Leila - Are You Still Certain (LW: 42 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 38)

OUT : The Aces - "Last One" (LW: 46 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 45)

OUT : Ryan Beatty - "Haircut" (LW: 47 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 47)

OUT : King Princess - "Holy" (LW: 48 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 44)

OUT : Ryan Beatty - "Powerslide" (LW: 49 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 49)

  01 (+ 4) : Years & Years - If You're Over Me (LW: 05 / WO: 15 / PEAK: 01 (x1))

UK - 2018 / from the album "Palo Santo"

 02 (=) : Troye Sivan feat. Ariana Grande - Dance To This (LW: 02 / WO: 10 / PEAK: 02)

Australia / USA – 2018 / from the album 2018 "Bloom"

 03 (+ 5) : Cher - "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)" [Audio] (LW: 08 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 03)

USA - 2018 / from the album "Dancing Queen"

An ABBA revival, thanks to "Mama Mia 2".

 04 (- 3) : P!nk - "Secrets" (LW: 01 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 01 (x2))

USA - 2018 / from the album "Beautiful Trauma"

 05 (- 1) : Years & Years - All For You (PSEN Televisual Exclusive) (LW: 04 / WO: 7 / PEAK: 01 (x1))

UK - 2018 / from the album "Palo Santo"

 06 (=) : THE TRIPLETZ - "You Better Fucking Dance" (LW: 06 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 06)

Spain - 2018

"Better fuck with them boys

Better fuck with them girls

Better fuck with them both

Who fuckin cares?"

 07 (+ 3) : Sandro Cavazza, P3GI-13 - High With Somebody (LW: 10 / WO: 10 / PEAK: 07)

Sweden - 2018

A sweet song and a music video which shows bisexuality.

 08 (- 1) : Lizzo - Boys (LW: 07 / WO: 9 / PEAK: 01 (x2))

USA - 2018

 09 (+ 4) : Sam Bluer - "Body High" (LW: 13 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 09)

Australia - 2018

This is his debut music video. A revelation.

 10 (+ 10) : Peter Wilson & Sean Smith - "Verona" (LW: 20 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 10)

UK - 2018 / from the album "The Passion and The Flame"

This awesome cover of the 2017's Estonian Eurovision track from Koit Toome and Laura is produced by Matt Pop.

 11 (- 8) : Adore Delano - 27 Club (LW: 03 / WO: 8 / PEAK: 01 (x2))

USA - 2018 / from the album "Whatever"

 12 (+ 7) : Cheat Codes, Little Mix - Only You (LW: 19 / WO: 6 / PEAK: 12)

USA / UK - 2018

This music video shows a lesbian love at first sight between a mermaid and a woman.

 13 (+ 9) : Troye Sivan - "Animal" (LW: 22 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 13)

Australia - 2018 / from the album "Bloom"

 14 (- 5) : Not.Your.Regular.Boy. - Get Down Make Love (LW: 09 / WO: 10 / PEAK: 09)

The Netherlands - 2018

 15 (+ 3) : Tiago Braga - Ilusão (LW: 18 / WO: 14 / PEAK: 06)

Portugal - 2018

A story of infidelity.

 16 (NEW) : Calvin Harris, Sam Smith - "Promises" (Lyric Video) (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 16)

UK - 2018

 17 (NEW) : Kylie Minogue - "A Lifetime to Repair" (Lyric Video) (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 17)

Australia - 2018 / from the album "Golden"

 18 (- 6) : MNEK feat. Hailee Steinfeld - Colour (LW: 12 / WO: 8 / PEAK: 05)

UK - 2018

 19 (- 8) : LOBODA - "SuperSTAR" (LW: 11 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 19)

Ukraine - 2018

The music video is rated 18+ in Ukraine because of the two gay and the lesbian kisses.

 20 (NEW) : Man Meadow - "Play It Loud" (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 20)

Sweden - 2018

 21 (- 6) : Panic! At The Disco - Hey Look Ma, I Made It (LW: 15 / WO: 7 / PEAK: 07)

USA - 2018

Brendon Urie comes out as pansexual. The funny music and his puppet illustrates that fact.

 22 (+ 3) : Blair St. Clair - Call My Life (LW: 25 / WO: 8 / PEAK: 13)

USA - 2018 / from the album "Call My Life"

 23 (NEW) : Pabllo Vittar - "Problema Seu" (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 23)

Brazil - 2018

 24 (- 10) : Eureka O'Hara - The Big Girl (LW: 14 / WO: 7 / PEAK: 04)

USA - 2018

This is the first single of the drag queen who was runner up in RuPaul's Drag Race season 10.

 25 (NEW) : Madonna - MET Gala 2018 (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 25)

USA - 2018

Madonna performs 'Like A Prayer', 'Beautiful Game' and 'Hallelujah' at the 2018 MET Gala in New York.

 26 (+ 6) : Vini Uehara - "Perigo" (LW: 32 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 26)

Brazil - 2018 / from the album "Hear Me Now"

The fashion designer, Youtuber and singer comes out of the closet as gay with this music video.

 27 (NEW) : LP - "Girls Go Wild" (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 27)

USA - 2018

 28 (NEW) : Chris(tine and the Queens) - "5 dollars" (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 28)

France - 2018 / from the album "Chris"

 29 (- 1) : Blonde feat. Bryn Christopher - Me, Myself & I (LW: 28 / WO: 6 / PEAK: 27)

UK - 2018

 30 (- 13) : BeBe Zahara Benet - Jungle Kitty (LW: 17 / WO: 12 / PEAK: 07)

USA - 2018

 31 (- 1) : Years & Years - Palo Santo (Live - Vevo x Years & Years) (LW: 30 / WO: 8 / PEAK: 28)

UK - 2018 - from the album "Palo Santo"

 32 (- 6) : CARSON - "Good Love" (LW: 26 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 26)

USA - 2018

The debut music video of Carson Rammelt has been promoted on Billboard Pride's July 2018 Playlist.

 33 (- 2) : Mint Julep - The Promise ("Alex Strangelove" OST) (LW: 31 / WO: 6 / PEAK: 22)

USA - 2018

"Alex Strangelove" is a gay coming of age movie from Nexflix.

 34 (+ 4) : AB Soto - "No More 2 Say" (LW: 38 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 34)

USA - 2018 / from the album "Visibility, Part.1"

 35 (+ 1) : Nacha La Macha - Eres Cobarde (LW: 36 / WO: 6 / PEAK: 11)

Spain - 2018

 36 (- 15) : Smashby - "Someone" (LW: 21 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 21)

UK - 2018 / from the EP "Wild One"

 37 (- 4) : Bruno Gadiol, Gabriel Nandes - Seu Costume (LW: 33 / WO: 8 / PEAK: 17)

Brazil - 2018

The 20 years old singer has been revealed in The Voice Brasil in 2016. He comes out as gay with this music video.

 38 (+ 12) : Davi - "Tenho Você" (LW: 50 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 38)

Brazil - 2018

This is the first single in solo of the member of Banda Uó.

 39 (- 16) : Sharon Needles - "666" (LW: 23 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 17)

USA - 2018 / from the album "Battle Axe"

 40 (NEW) : LVRK - "Heart to Heart" (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 40)

Sweden - 2018

 41 (NEW) : Kiesza feat. Philippe Sly - "Phantom Of The Dance Floor" (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 41)

Canada - 2018

 42 (- 15) : Panic! At The Disco - Say Amen (Saturday Night) (LW: 27 / WO: 6 / PEAK: 18)

USA - 2018 / from the album "Pray For The Wicked"

 43 (NEW) : Seeb, Dagny - "Drink About" (LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 43)

Norway - 2018

 44 (- 15) : Not.Your.Regular.Boy. - Crazyland (LW: 29 / WO: 18 / PEAK: 03)

The Netherlands - 2018

Revealed on X-Factor and the Voice, this is his debut single.

 45 (- 10) : Brandon Stansell - "For You" (LW: 35 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 22)

USA - 2018

A sweet love triangle story.

 46 (RE-ENTRY) : Steve Grand - Don't Let The Light In (LW: - / WO: 2 / PEAK: 36)

USA - 2018 / from the album "Not The End of Me"

The music video is a collection of his childhood and concerts footage.

 47 (- 23) : Monét X Change feat. Bob The Drag Queen - Soak It Up (LW: 24 / WO: 12 / PEAK: 08)

USA - 2018

The drag queen was voted Miss Congeniality of the 2018 edition of RuPaul's Drag Race.

 48 (- 5) : 星屑スキャット Hoshikuzu Scat - 「半蔵門シェリ」 "Hanzo Mon Chérie" (LW: 43 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 43)

Japan - 2017 / from the EP "Hanzo Mon Cherie"

We're in love with the first music video of this trio, composed with drag queens Mitz, Meili and Kazue!

 49 (- 5) : Renato - "Cruel Summer" (LW: 44 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 27)

Czech Republic - 2018

 50 (- 5) : FRANKIE x Scott Hoying feat. One Night - Ghost (LW: 45 / WO: 10 / PEAK: 14)

USA - 2018

The music video is an interesting queer remake of Grease.

  ALSO NEW THIS WEEK

 John Duff - "Girly"

USA - 2018

The singer plays Mariah Carey, Madonna, Britney Spears and Beyoncé. Drag queen Bianca Del Rio, Willam Belli and Mariah Balenciaga are also featuring in this music video.

 Josh Wood - "Radio (You and I)"

USA - 2018

 Alaska & Jeremy - "Aliens"

USA - 2018 / from the album "Amethyst Journey"

 Imagine Dragons - "Natural"

USA - 2018

 Cher - "SOS" (Audio)

USA - 2018

 Magnus Carlsson - "Slow Motion"

Sweden - 2018

 Kim Petras - "All The Time" (Audio)

Germany - 2018

 Thalles - "Just When We Were High"

Brazil - 2018 / from the album "Utopia"

 Ivri Lider עברי לידר - "The Prom / הנשף"

Israel - 2018

 ALVIN - "Oui, Papa"

France - 2018

After "Il a dit", this is the new music video of the French singer Alvin Point.

 Villagers - "Fool"

Ireland - 2018 / from the album "The Art of Pretending to Swim"

 HANDSOME - "No Cowards"

Australia - 2018 / from the EP "No Hat No Play"

 Union J feat. Ironik - "Dancing"

UK - 2018

 anaïs feat. Olly Alexander - "No control"

UK - 2018

 NORAZO (노라조) - "CIDER" (사이다)

South Korea - 2018

 Nigel Andrews - "Ik doe mijn eigen ding"

The Netherlands - 2018

  See you next week and don’t forget to vote for your best LGBTQA music videos ! Here are the rules :

1 ) You can vote for many videos as you want under the videos on YouTube in the comment section. It could be recent or past music videos, which must provide at least one among the following conditions:

- the music video has LGBTQA related content, in the lyrics or the music video

- the artist is LGBTQA, an LGBTQA icon or eventually ally

- LGBTQA medias talked about it.

2 ) You can’t vote more than 3 songs of a same artist per week.

3 ) In case of an artist who receive votes mostly by a fan base, we will count only one song, in a limited time of 4 weeks of presence in the top.

4 ) You can vote with only one account.

5 ) If you make 5 votes or less, your first vote will represent 5 points, your second vote 4 points, etc… until your last vote and following 1 point. If you make 6 to 10 votes, your first vote will represent 10 points, your second vote 9 points, etc… If you make more than 10 votes, your first vote will represent 20 points, your second vote 19 points, etc…

6 ) People who make 1 to 5 votes form the amateur ranking, those who make 6 to 10 votes form the fan ranking, those who make more than 10 votes form the expert ranking. We form the jury ranking (but this one is for the moment suspended as experimentation). And we count now the ranking of minutes of views of our weekly playlist of the previous week. The Gay Music Chart is the addition of the five charts. In case of equality, the number of votes and the dates of votes will count.

7 ) The votes will close on Thursday, 8 PM, European time.

[fagkit]

200 thru 1 :3c

bet you didn’t think I’d do it @chqwder @ephraim-o-rama​

200: My crush’s name is: killu @bpdzoldyck I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH!!!!!! 199: I was born in: ontario198: I am really: affectionate, loving, supportive, jealous, drained197: My cellphone company is: freedom196: My eye color is: brown195: My shoe size is: 9194: My ring size is: no idea193: My height is: 5′11′’192: I am allergic to: nothing that I know of191: My 1st car was: none, I hate driving190: My 1st job was: peer tutoring through my college189: Last book you read: I can’t remember, but probably a science fiction book for one of the classes I took in college188: My bed is: comfortable and unmade and covered in clothes187: My pet: a precious calico kitty cat named reese uwu 186: My best friend: aria @god-mutt aaaaaahhh god I love my best friend so much like holy gosh damn like I love her with all my heart she’s the best friend ever to exist!!!!! 185: My favorite shampoo is: head and shoulders is all I use184: Xbox or ps3: neither?? I’m a pc gamer… ps3 if I had to choose183: Piggy banks are: kinda helpful I guess182: In my pockets: nothing lmao181: On my calendar: my friends’ birthdays uwu180: Marriage is: I dunno, nothing special to me179: Spongebob can: quench that extreme thirst178: My mom: loves memes177: The last three songs I bought were? all on krewella’s new world album, the first time I’ve bought music in years actually176: Last YouTube video watched: sro playing camille175: How many cousins do you have? fuck there’s a lot of them but I don’t know most of them, my family tree is huge.. I’m close to like three of my cousins174: Do you have any siblings? I have a younger sister173: Are your parents divorced? nope172: Are you taller than your mom? yeah, by a little171: Do you play an instrument? not at all170: What did you do yesterday? I worked and then had a pizza and relaxed[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: not a chance168: Luck: as much as I like to blame luck when things go bad, or say I got lucky when things go well, not really… shit just happens167: Fate: same as before, shit just happens, but fate can be nice to think about sometimes166: Yourself: kinda, I can be a big fuck up sometimes but I’m still alive and kicking165: Aliens: not your traditional aliens out of fiction, but I believe there is other forms of life in the universe164: Heaven: nah, not really, but it’s nice to think about163: Hell: as often as I’ll say I’m going to hell, in particular with my best friend to chill after death, it’s not really something I think is real162: God: no, I don’t really think about it either, nor do I care to think about it161: Horoscopes: they’re fun, but I don’t think they’re real or accurate or hold any value160: Soul mates: it’s a comforting thing to believe in, but it’s probably not real159: Ghosts: not really, it’s possible but I don’t really care either way158: Gay Marriage: of course!!!!! unfollow me if you don’t157: War: war is very much real lmao do I think it should it happen??? it would be nice if it didn’t… but in the world we live in I think it’s always bound to happen156: Orbs: what does this even mean????155: Magic: nope but this is the closest to magic I’ve ever seen[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs153: Drunk or High: high152: Phone or Online: online151: Red heads or Black haired: black hair150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunette149: Hot or cold: hot148: Summer or winter: summer147: Autumn or Spring: autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: oranges143: Curly or Straight hair: straight142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdicks141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: pc139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor137: Coke or Pepsi: coke136: Hillary or Obama: obama I guess, I’m not american so my opinion is limited135: Burried or cremated: I want to be cremated134: Singing or Dancing: singing133: Coach or Chanel: lmao I don’t care132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who???131: Small town or Big city: small town130: Wal-Mart or Target: wal-mart, target got shit on in canada for good reasons too129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: adam sandler I guess, only because my favourite movie ever is 50 first dates128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure probably so I can show it off127: East Coast or West Coast: I don’t know??? what does this even mean??126: Your Birthday or Christmas: my birthday125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: never been to either and never will123: Yankees or Red Sox: neither, I don’t care about sports[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: depends on what’s being fought over, human rights is one of the only reasons it should need to happen121: George Bush: I’m not american and I don’t really care120: Gay Marriage: there shouldn’t need to be laws for gay marriage to be legal and accepted119: The presidential election: a losing choice either way118: Abortion: pro-choice, your body your life your choice117: MySpace: dead and gone116: Reality TV: can be fun sometimes115: Parents: my parents are great!!!! others?? not so much… really common to hear about shitty parents114: Back stabbers: shitty people, drop them when you get the chance113: Ebay: pretty useful but I don’t really use it112: Facebook: waste of time and poorly designed and too much data mining111: Work: I’m underpaid, retail is hell, it’s basically adult babysitting110: My Neighbors: don’t talk to them but they smoke a lot of weed109: Gas Prices: inflated and bullshit but luckily I don’t drive108: Designer Clothes: not a necessity but to each their own107: College: unfairly out of reach for most people, should be free106: Sports: boring and exhausting and not fun to me105: My family: I love my family, I don’t really have any complaints104: The future: probably pretty shitty with how things in the world have been lately, gonna enjoy the present while I can[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: a week ago102: Last time you ate: a couple hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: a while? :3c100: Cried in front of someone: a few days ago on voice chat with my best friend99: Went to a movie theater: around a year at this point98: Took a vacation: around april was the last time I had a week off work97: Swam in a pool: over a year, last summer I think96: Changed a diaper: never95: Got my nails done: never94: Went to a wedding: not since I was a baby93: Broke a bone: never, the closest was a fractured wrist when I was around 1292: Got a peircing: never91: Broke the law: I have no idea, probably the last time I ripped a song from youtube which was almost a year ago90: Texted: less than a minute ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: aria88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: aria87: The last movie I saw: something with aria I can’t remember the name of, it was a bunch of shorts on short stories (she has informed me it was called XX)86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: coming home from work and calling with aria85: The thing im not looking forward to: going back to work84: People call me: loving, supportive, a brother83: The most difficult thing to do is: accept change82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never81: My zodiac sign is: libra80: The first person i talked to today was: grizz @chqwder79: First time you had a crush: when I was around 1078: The one person who i can’t hide things from: aria77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: probably aria76: Right now I am talking to: voice calling with aria 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: be best friends with aria74: I have/will get a job: I am a unofficially a manager at a hardware store (I do all the work of one), but only get paid as a supervisor73: Tomorrow: THIS IS SO VAGUE but I’m going to be working and then hanging out with aria72: Today: I streamed with grizz @chqwder and joshy @ephraim-o-rama and voice called with aria @god-mutt while I did this before bed71: Next Summer: I have no idea probably hanging out with aria??70: Next Weekend: hanging out with aria69: I have these pets: a cat that I mentioned earlier68: The worst sound in the world: forks scraping on a plate67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself66: People that make you happy: aria makes me the happiest65: Last time I cried: like a week ago on call with aria64: My friends are: amazing and wonderful and I love them63: My computer is: a beast62: My School: I’m not in school anymore61: My Car: is non-existent, like my license60: I lose all respect for people who: lie and break my trust, cheat, lots of other reasons that are pretty standard and obvious for people not deserving respect59: The movie I cried at was: I can’t remember right now but I cry really easily at movies58: Your hair color is: brown57: TV shows you watch: hunter x hunter and a bunch of other anime, rupauls drag race, and mostly just youtube videos… I don’t have cable to watch tv56: Favorite web site: tumblr and youtube55: Your dream vacation: I hate travel but if I get a chance to meet aria that would be the best54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when I scalded my hand with boiling water a couple years ago53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium-rare52: My room is: kinda messy51: My favorite celebrity is: I really love adore delano50: Where would you like to be: hanging out with aria and looking at stars or watching movies and having a sleepover49: Do you want children: kinda, as long as I can skip the baby phase48: Ever been in love: yes, and then heartbroken but I’m over it now whatever romantic love sucks miss me with that shit47: Who’s your best friend: aria!!!!46: More guy friends or girl friends: guy friends45: One thing that makes you feel great is: spending time with aria44: One person that you wish you could see right now: aria43: Do you have a 5 year plan: not die??? even that’s kinda iffy???42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: meet aria41: Have you pre-named your children: nope40: Last person I got mad at: a friend I ended up blocking39: I would like to move to: nowhere, I like where I live38: I wish I was a professional: programmer[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: peanut butter m&ms36: Vehicle: I don’t really care enough to have one35: President: don’t care enough to have one34: State visited: I’ve only been to two states, buffalo (to take a plane to chicago), and illinois. between the two, definitely not buffalo33: Cellphone provider: I’m with freedom and the service is meh but it’s affordable32: Athlete: don’t care31: Actor: don’t care enough to have one30: Actress: don’t care enough29: Singer: adore delano28: Band: krewella27: Clothing store: h&m??? I don’t really clothing shop often26: Grocery store: fortinos25: TV show: excluding anime, it would be rupauls drag race24: Movie: 50 first dates23: Website: tumblr and youtube22: Animal: foxes and fennecs21: Theme park: never been to one20: Holiday: halloween19: Sport to watch: none, they’re all boring18: Sport to play: none, they’re all boring17: Magazine: I don’t read any16: Book: warrior cats ;3 I don’t read… never have the time15: Day of the week: thursday, it’s my day off14: Beach: a beach 3 hours away on lake huron13: Concert attended: three days grace12: Thing to cook: mac and cheese11: Food: pizza and mac and cheese10: Restaurant: a sushi place that closed down almost three years ago9: Radio station: I don’t really listen to the radio on my own, not sure8: Yankee candle scent: I dunno probably something with vanilla??7: Perfume: I don’t know vanilla scents I guess??6: Flower: snapdragons and bleeding hearts!!!!!!!!5: Color: true blue4: Talk show host: I don’t watch talk shows3: Comedian: I have no idea2: Dog breed: german shepherd, husky, border collie1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yep

[remeny-writes]

Roses are Red, Violets are Adored (Viadore/Katlaska/group fic)

Sorry for the long time between posts. crushing depression + writer’s block = me

Chapter 163

Adore’s Point of view

I took one last look of Violet’s sleeping face before I rounded the corner, I really didn’t want to go but Matt promised he would check in on them regularly and I trusted that he would. Lucy would be back before long as well.

It seemed like a long time since I had been at group because it felt like it had been weeks since I had last gone. I was there a bit early but Selene was there too, she jumped up as soon as she saw me and pulled me into a tight hug, “Bonjour mon amour, how are you? I’ve missed you so! Oh mon dieu! Your hand!”

“Hiya Selene, I KNOW! It feels like it has been forever since we had last spoken to each other instead of it just being the past few meetings. My hand is ok! Don’t worry!” I reassured her, flailing my casted arm around.

"And how is Violet doing now?” a look of concern marring her perfect face.

“They’re much better. We even came to the games room, with Lucy and her new little friend, to play some video games yesterday which was great fun.”

“Oh good!!”

“And how is Luc?” Her son Luc has the same cancer as Lucy does.

“He is good, thank you for asking!!” She smiled brightly, “They are saying we may be able to take him home next week!

"That is AMAZING news!! I’m so very happy for him and you!”

She smiled and nodded, before we could chat any longer, Alexa walked in, holding the hand of a petite raven haired woman.

“Hi!! I am assuming you are Leslie?” I asked, closing the distance between her and I.

“Yes I am! I wanna say you are Danny?” I nodded and she pulled me into a hug. Then she got a quizzical look on her face, “has anyone ever told you that you could be the identical twin of one of my favourite drag queens Adore Delano? She was on a popular drag competition reality show if you haven’t heard of it.” Alexa was grinning behind her.

“I know her actually!”

“REALLY? I’d love to meet her sometime if she is around! If it’s not too much trouble.”

I laughed and stuck my hand out for her to shake it and she looked confused for a moment but finally shook it. “Hi I’m Adore Delano, nice to meet you!”

“Oh my gosh! REALLY??”

“Yep I really am and Violet Chachki is just down the hall.” I grinned, bemused at the shocked expression on her face.

“You gotta be shitting me!” she blurted and then covered her mouth, “Sorry, I saw they were being treated for cancer on youtube. Sorry about the swearing,” she looked around at everyone for a minute and then turned back to me. “I should know better seeing as I’m in a kid’s hospital. Hey wait…why are you guys at a children’s hospital?”

“Well it’s a bit of a long story. The Dr in New York that diagnosed them sent them to an oncologist here that deals with their rare type of cancer, but Dr Bailey only has rights to treat here so here is where we came.”

“Makes sense. I can’t believe I’m talking to you!”

I giggled, “Well believe it baby!”

Olive came in and introduced herself to Leslie. “Ok gang, why don’t we begin?”

“Wait,” I said. “What about Grayson?”

Olive’s face fell, “Grayson’s daughter has taken a turn for the worse and he said he would much rather spend that time with her. Which of course is understandable! Keep them in your thoughts and prayers.”

We all nodded slowly, all of us dreading the possibility that that could be us someday.

The meeting was subdued.At the end of it, I told Alex and Leslie I would call their son’s room if and when Vi was up to visitors as I didn’t want them to just come with me since Vi was having chemo again and I didn’t know how they would be feeling. I knew how sensitive Vi can be about their appearance sometimes.

Surprisingly, when I tiptoed into the room, Vi was sitting up chatting with Lucy, unhooked from chemo but not quite green yet. Ross bucket was lying on the bed near Vi’s crossed legs. They didn’t see me but I saw them, Lucy must have said something funny because they threw their head back in their characteristic laugh that made my stomach get butterflies like riding a rollercoaster. Their eyes flicked to me and they smiled, beckoning me forward with one finger and like a fish on a hook I followed with a goofy smile I couldn’t and wouldn’t shake.

Lucy is sitting and there is a boy sitting beside Lucy that wasn’t Frederick. He had ginger hair that was spiked up, he was wearing dark jeans, a loose diamond-patterned pale emerald short-sleeved button-up shirt and a silver bowtie. As soon as he saw me, he stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans.

“Hi! Nice to meet you! Do you prefer Danny or Adore?” He twanged.

“You forgot to tell him your name goof!” Lucy laughed, she looked radiant.

“Er…sorry! I’m Samuel, Lucy’s brother. Sorry I haven’t been here yet to meet you.” He was holding his breath, I wondered if it was because I knew he was trans. Like that even fucking mattered…well it mattered but it didn’t matter.

“Hey man.” I said, he put out his hand to shake and then switched when he saw my cast. He chuckled, the ice was broken as he sat back down beside Lucy who was beaming crazily up at her brother. It honestly made me wanna cry with how sweet it was.

Violet reached their hand out and pulled me to sit beside them

“You forgot to tell him your name goof!” Violet repeated Lucy’s earlier statement.

“Oh yeah!” I smacked my forehead, “sorry Samuel! Either is fine with me. Half the time Vi and I call each other by our drag names because we both answer to which ever! So you’re home!! Welcome back! Lucy has told us a lot about you.”

“All horrible stuff. I’ve told them nothing but horrible things.” Lucy deadpanned.

“I would expect anything less of you lil sister.” He chuckled, ruffling her hair like a big brother should.

She squirmed out of the way and smoothed down her bangs again. “Get away you!” She took a closer look at him, squinting up at him. “You doing ok? If you need to go, I understand hun. You should get some rest bro. I’m ok!”

Upon closer inspection, Samuel did look as green as his shirt.

“You ok man?” Vi asked, concern in their voice.

Samuel chuckled morosely. “I could ask you the same thing. Incoming!”

Violet groaned and grabbed up Ross, I rubbed their back and murmured the usual reassurances while Lucy and Samuel had a whispered conversation that I was probably not meant to hear.

“Sammy, you just got home, you need to rest. You KNOW that I understand.”

“Luce, it was bad enough I was away so much longer than I was supposed to be! I don’t want to leave already. I’m fine.”

“Samuel, we both know you are not fine! Do NOT even try it. You won’t heal if you don’t take care of yourself. You have to take your meds.”

“They make me tired.”

“I know, most pain meds make people sleepy. You can ask the doctor at your appointment for meds that aren’t as strong but right now you NEED them. Please?”

Vi must have heard the conversation because as soon as they surfaced from the bucket, they jabbed the nurse’s button fiercely with their thumb.

“Can I help you?” A nurse’s voice crackled from the speaker on the wall.

“Hi can I get my pain meds?”

“I’ll be right in with them Jason.”

“Thank you.” Vi looked straight at Samuel and smirked, “ok your turn.” They raised one spotty eyebrow at him. “Sorry not sorry, this room is not that big. Lucy knows what she is talking about. Listen to her. Please?”

“You too Danny?” Lucy said with her own raised ginger brow.

I put my hand up, “hey! Hey! Why you gotta bring me into this?”

“Because you are also in pain.” Violet said.

“God, aren’t we all a mess!!?” I exclaimed and we all burst out into laughter until we were holding our stomachs and Samuel was even greener.

10 minutes later we had all taken our meds, Samuel had winced when he leaned over to grab his meds from his backpack. Vi and I pretended not to notice as we were suddenly engrossed in our fingernails or the ceiling.

“You guys are so not fooling me. So I had…”

“No Samuel, you don’t have to tell us. It’s ok!”

“No, I don’t mind. I recently went to Mexico and had top surgery. I had to stay longer than intended due to complications outside of anyone’s control. It was a good facility, not one of those seedy places so it wasn’t because of that. Hopefully I can get the drains out tomorrow when I see my Dr here.” He said and then yawned.

“Hey why don’t you stretch out on the couch tonight Samuel? Vi will let me sleep with them, right hun?”

I saw a shadow of fear pass over Jason’s face, I think I could safely bet that they were worried about having a nightmare with Samuel in the room. I put my hand on their knee, and they looked at him and nodded with a queasy smile. “Yeah that would be great! Please stay Samuel, if you want to!”

“Are you sure you don’t mind? I am extremely tired.”

“Not at all! I have a spare set of pajamas if you wanna borrow them.” I offered, moving around the bed and plucking a pair of lounge pants and an oversized Tshirt from my suitcase and throwing them at Lucy since it would probably hurt him to raise his arms.

“Well the thing is, I might bleed on the shirt.” He said, looking around awkwardly.

“Meh, what’s a little blood between friends? But here, use this one and keep it.” I went to my suitcase and pulled out an extra large black Adore merch shirt, throwing that one to Lucy.”

“Really?” He exclaimed, looking like someone just gave him a million bucks.

“Yep.”

“Thank you!” He said and yawned.

“Ok you go put those on young man and I’ll make up the couch with fresh linens since I know where to find them now.”

About 20 minutes later, Lucy tucked her big bro in and a nurse came in to give Lucy her sleep and pain meds. I curled up with Violet, holding their petite body up against mine. “I really actually love you Jason. Oh and I have to go to the Doctor tomorrow at 1 about my hand. Please don’t let me forget.”

“I’ll remind you.” Jason said sleepily, “I really actually love you too. Thanks for suggesting that Samuel stay for the night. You’re the best.”

Jason sighed and was asleep within minutes. I stayed awake for a bit thinking of all the things I had to do to pull off the surprise that was in my head. The pain meds were pulling me down to sleep and I was happy that my hand wasn’t throbbing with every beat of my heart.

[tdrcycle09]

Mini Challenge #6 - Left To Your Own (De)Vices

For this week’s mini challenge, our sickening seven gave us makeup inspired by things that they indulged in. Here’s what they did!

Analyse Thropic | Alcohol

Hey jufgess its meeee analyze Thropicv and mY vice mjni chalemnhe i chose aclohol becaus it s v on brand for me and i also wantefd to drinkk to make thesre accesorise but i think i deank to much because thenb i starteed seeing douvble and i didnt kno wherre to put my makeuvpo on my facer n i was taking my picvitrs for the submissoin and i had to trhow up but i madde it in tim and tookk anothers selfie fro youuu i m gonna go textt my exes now byeeee

Lila: Ugh, I feel sick when I look at you, all those bottles and wine corks are making me think of all the days after hungover and being ill in bed. I think this is such a creative makeup honestly, i get that seeing double, beer-goggle like idea and its really fun and totally works with the connotation of drinking - a vice indeed! You did put a second brow next to the amazingly snatched on in the middle of your forehead, however your accessory kind of clunkily covers it. I do wish you made your pupils a little bigger as it kind of gets more of that wicked detail in there that when people get drunk, their pupils dilate a larger amount - however, I’m not pressed at this concept at all! Great job!

Letha: This is really cool, Analyse. You really created a concept and commited to its execution. You’ve got accessories, an outfit, even a toilet. I will say the technical aspects of the makeup sort of blunder for me. The doubled features mostly work (one of the lashes on the lower eyes is a bit wonky), but it just gets a bit too muddy/blurry in some areas for for me personally. That being said, it’s a really fun and creative look, good job! 

Toni: To start off I think this is a better optical illusion makeup than the actual optical illusion makeup you did before, because the extra parts or doubles seem so well done. I don't know how but the colors on the fake eye makeup seem so much more brighter than they do on your actual eye so I’d love to figure out how to make it the same. I like the accessories I think a little bit more time could have been used on them to really make them look a bit more interesting like you could have filled the bottled with dyed water just to add pops of color.

Avana Noir | Ice Cream

Hello judges and tdr community bitches! lets jump right into this! so for this challenge my vices that i usually have aren't rally physcial except for one...ICE CREAM. let me tell yall. I love ice cream so much. like bruh, Its so bad for me but A BITCH IS STILL GONNA EAT IT. so for this lewk I wanted to go for like a thing where I love ice cream so much that I have become ice cream ! This was really fun to do! 

Lila: HOLY SHIT. Coming from last week, I was coming into this mini expecting very little, but you proved my gay ass wrong - I love it. It’s giving me KAWS artist vibes with old school grafitti and honestly, without your heavy makeup around the eyes you look so damn beautiful. The outline of the cream on the white kind of spurred me to think you could’ve blended this out way, way more than you did, and I would’ve either painted your ears or even added some cones on your ears, get all Katamari Damacy with it because it’s super true to your aesthetic, just push it a lot futher than this. Overall, I love this, great work this week!

Letha:  Avana, this is such a fun look! It’s drippy, messy, and really makes sense with the vice you chose. The neckpiece is a fun addition, as are the ice cream cones. I’m not loving the plain boy hair, though. I wish you had either slicked it back and covered it in chocolate sauce or found some other way to incorporate it into the paint. But other than that, I really do like it, great job!

Toni: I wanna li li li li lick you from your head to your toes. Oh this is such a sweet look….get it….sweet? I really like this and I think this is a really nice step outside the box for you and such a creative paint. I do have issues with it thought. I wish that the colors were more pigmented, and that the lines were more defined and darker as well. I like the sprinkles, they were cute. I think instead 3 cones you could have rolled up paper and made one large cone and I wish you had a wig on or something other than just your boy hair.

Lexi Lamour

A vice, by definition, is an immoral or wicked behavior or personality trait. For this challenge I went with the latter and picked my competitive pride. Competition can sometimes get the best of me and I greatly apologize to anyone or any relationships that I have that I've let it effect in this race. It's something that I'm really trying to work on and grow from moving forward. One image shows my softer side/attitude trying to resist the competitiveness coming out, and the other shows the attitude of someone consumed by competitive drive.

Lila: This is such a beautiful makeup honestly - it’s simplistic in design, yes, but it hits home quite a lot. Vulnerability is a powerful state of mind that not many people get an opportunity to express, let alone express it too. I love the gold accents, really exciting and it got me twisting my head because I thought the coin was some sort of lense from a pair of sunglasses - it’s a coin! For me, your brow could be a lot sharper than it is. It’s getting a little blurred in this makeup, just throwing a little bit of concealer in a lighter colour and fix that up, but never the less, great job!

Letha: Heya Lexi! So this look is very interesting. I can see competitiveness as a vice so it makes sense, it’s out of the box and not one I would immediately think of. I really like the eye patch thingy you constructed on the right, it’s really fun and is easily my favorite part of the look. The hair is fierce for sure, it’s great drag hair. The other eye makeup is pretty good too, and the nails/accessories help tie the look together. The lip throws me off a bit, I think, it’s very shiny and not well defined. All in all, I like it, but I wish it had been pushed a little farther creatively. 

Toni: To start im glad you do have self awareness because sometimes the competition can get the best of everyone. I think this is a very pretty look but I think there's a lot more that could have been done. I would have liked to see the gold stars maybe dot off into your wig on that side even if they aren't stuck on but held on using bobby pins. I would have loved to see you try something like making a star shape out of the other eye with makeup to add a level of creative makeup and I don't think that lip is working at all, my suggestion for a gold lip would be to do a base color of a matte lip, maybe black,and then go over with a hold shadow to have the color there but still mask your natural lip shape.

Marcella Fox | Reading

Marcella has a lot of vices: red hair, metallics, triangles… But if there’s one thing Marcella can’t truly resist, it’s READING. I was so disappointed this mini wasn’t the reading challenge that I knew it had to form the basis of my look (Also, the real life male human who plays Marcella does have a bit of a book vice going on currently). I’m giving SHADY smokey eyes and COLD metallic lips, and my HARSH expression is saying “Everything about me is better than you”. Brows, earrings, fascinator and boa provided curtesy of Aldous Huxley.

Lila: W o w. Breathtaking and absolutely clever, just call yourself Matilda henny because you psyched me up for this. It’s giving me like Elizabethan era which is probably the elements of your signature ginger wig and the ruffling of the paper pages from your books. Your face is just stunning and you capture such perfect conceptual images, so dynamic and graceful. ONE tiny *tiny* problem I have is something that was brought up with me last cycle - using glossy or satin lipsticks to overdraw always produce this visible crease where your natural lip ends - the way to overcome this is to dab a smidgin of highlight on this area to kind of hide the crease created by the lip and the skin. Overall, however, Excellent work!

Letha: This look is total high fashion, Marcella. I think the accessories, hair, and makeup really tell a story, wink wink nudge nudge. The metallic lip prominently displays your real lip line, which works from these angles as a sort of highlight, but I’m not sure it’d be the look from other points of view. The eyes are well blended, and you know how much I love blush so that works for me. I suppose my only main hurdle with this look is viewing reading as a vice. I think you were going for shade/reading as your vice, which I’m not so sure that even that’s a vice, but the wires sort of get crossed once you made it literary. I do still love the look, though!

Toni: Hello dear, let me start off by saying the shape you have created is very interesting and pleasing to my eyes and I do like your use of paper not only in acessories but as well as on your brows. I do wish the brows were placed a bit higher so it doesn’t look like you have garage doors because its throwing me off a bit and I wish you had maybe found a way to make it look like there were words (even if you made or got like a scroll work/ cursive stencil) and done that over your forhead or your chest, somewhere so it looks like theres writing on you, i think that would have been a cool extra deminison to add to the look.

Paprika

So I took a little more of a conceptual route to this challenge, and my vice was vanity cause im a cocky bitch. I made a lil planchette headpiece thing with a smashed compact mirror (6 years bad luck or some shit ik ik) and went for an almost demonic feel with the mug because I feel like the idea of vices and vanity itself is really dark and i wanted to give the like, “sinful” vibe bc vanity IS one of the seven sins. But yeah thats my look xoxo pap

Lila: I love how editorial you are. You give me such an Adore Delano vibe in this challenge and you remind me of like the anti-Virgin Mary? While it’s quite an effortless looking piece, it’s just so capitvating to look at. One thing I want you to work on is trying different lip shapes. Your lips are always one and one, there’s no cupid’s bow! Try experimenting with this and I’m sure you’ll find one that you’re attracted to. Overall, great job with this!

Letha: Paprika, this is a pretty look, and I can see “vanity”, but it’s not really the strongest for me, creatively. I think the headpeice is cool, but I wish you had brought the reflective elements more cohesively thoughout your makeup. I see you did a lighter color on the lid, imagine if that had been in the shape of a mirror, with your eyeliner being the handle with some filligree added? A highlight on the lips could have been cool as well. Things like that would have really helped elevate the look, which isn’t bad by any means, it’s just pretty simple. Your paint is getting better all the time, just remember to push yourself creatively!

Toni: I like your choice of vice because I think its one as drag queens most of us have. I think that the choice to do a darker look works in your favor because its something tht you haven’t shown us but over all this reads as lacking for me, i think a way you could have really amped it up would be to have covered parts of your face in the mirror bits so it looks like youre reflecting back at yourself and its kinda meta if that makes sense.

Phoebe St. Jefferson

Hi judges! For my mini I decided to do Survivor as my vice since I just can't get enough of trashy reality tv! I decided to incorporate the jungle into my face, and try to really sell my expression. I'm wearing my survivor buff and holding my huge ass immunity idol! Phoebe! She voted out her mom!

Lila: UGH. I wanted to win this season of Blood Vs Water how dare you ya little game changer. I love your props, it’s extremely cute and i love that this is your vice, however there’s not much creative makeup going on here. Your natural face is really shining here, however I wanted to see some sort of 3-D aspect in here on your face - look at your competition’s, a little bit of foliage you could steal from your university’s trees or flowers - just to kind of bring that little POP to your look. You know? The tribe has spoken, and it’s a good job at best.

Letha: Pheebs, when you were talking to the judges about your concept and you listed your plan of elements to include, I was really excited because there was so much that you could have gone over the top with. With the look as it stands, I’m getting more… “camp counselor” than “Survior”.  I think the hair and the makeup could have been wilder/rattier to more tell the story, which right now both are just a bit too tame/clean. Overall, it’s okay for me.

Toni: Phoebe… i’m not really impressed with this look to be honest. I think the issue here seems to be you focused to much on the survivor aspect of it, i think if you had just done “reality tv” or even “tv” you would have given yourself to get a much more conceptual and interesting makeup. Your eyemakeup and brow is pretty and constantly getting better but the vines seem to be a bit faded and the white could do with a bit out black outlining and I also think you could have done a wig so it has fake leaves and sticks in it to make it look a bit more wild rather than jsut using boy hair.

Sugar Monroe | Smoking

Hiiiiieeeeeee! :3 so, for this mini, we had to be inspired by our vices. Well, mine isn’t really a “good” one, per se. I smoke. A lot. And so I took inspiration from that to create this ashy, burned cigarette look.

*Sugar Monroe does not condone smoking children. It’s a filthy habit. Don’t start.*

Lila: Hello, Ms. Monroe! First off, a step in the right direction for me is the burn marks and scarring - really exciting and your makeup is always such a beautiful clean look. For me, personally, I think you could’ve draped some of the texture over the cigarette carton or something, just to make it more grotesque essentially. Loving the cleanliness of this, despite its punk-eqsue roots, and the black pigment on your neck gradiating out really adds so much to this concept. For me, more cigarettes in the hair would’ve pushed this a lot further and watching your colouration on the scar, but for me, great work this week!

Letha: Sugar, this look is…. Smokin’. Hahahaha bad jokes aside, I really do like the makeup. The elements you have, like the smoky eye and the classic lip, make sense with your vice, and I really enjoy the hair and the bitch brow. The cigarette eyepatch is o-kayyyy, not my fave part of the look, as it sort of covers up your burn makeup, which is pretty good, from what I can see.  Overall, good work on this, girl!

Toni: I’ll start by saying I like this a lot more than the first one you showed us because I think this one is a lot more conceptual. I’m glad you added accessories and I think they all make sense and really show the idea, I do wish there was a bit more of an ash aspect because if youre gonna paint it as a bad vice I wanna see the “bad to it”. I think the burns are a nice step into the pool of new and creative techniques and ideas from you but i need to see you diving head first into the pool for the main.

[theartificialdane]

Galactica, part 225

In this Violet hears news, Max takes a chance, Courtney hangs up, Jinkx is a friend, Bianca is compromised and Trixie enjoys halloween!

Thank you @veronicasanders @samrull and @toriibelledarling for being my awesome cowriters <3

“Yes. Yes. Yes of course Shannel, yes, I can do that.. No, no it’s fine. Yes I’ll confirm, yes. Okay. Yes, bye.”

Violet hung up, her head spinning. Shannel had just called her, telling her that Nina Garcia wanted to see her for a meeting about the spread she had gotten in Marie Claire. Violet was sure the entire thing had been approved by Bianca, had been told it was approved by Bianca, but after the call she wasn’t sure at all. She knew there was bad blood between Nina and Bianca, but she had no idea how much, because even though she had been Fame’s assistant, and that she was dating one of Bianca’s best friends, Violet had never been one who listened to gossip, the woman actually often turning out completely when she was out with Sutan, and the people he considered his family whenever they started talking.

Violet could have panicked, could have lost her mind and started redoing all of her work, but she wasn’t going to. What she had made was amazing, and she was going to convince Nina that she deserved the spread, because she did.

***

Courtney sat in her makeup chair, trying to calm her breathing. She’d been preparing for this concert for almost two months, and now that the day was finally here, and every one of her nails was bitten down to the quick, all she was trying to do was center herself, and nothing was working. She felt like a bundle of raw nerves. Why on earth had she convinced herself that she could do this? Who the FUCK did she think she was?

She chest felt tight and suddenly it was all too much. She jumped up from her seat, jostling the elbow of the makeup artist, stammering out a shaky, “Sorry, I’m sorry,” and fleeing through the green room, where Bianca sat with her family, Lucien, Latrice, a few of the label guys - all of them counting on her. She raced past them, out the back door of the theatre, into the dim alley, where she shivered in the dusk, tears pricking at her eyes.

Why was she such a disappointment? Why couldn’t she do anything right?

*

Bianca stood up, about to go after her distraught girlfriend, but Annette put an arm on her shoulder and said, “Let me go, love.” Bianca nodded and sat back down, handing Annette Courtney’s coat and sighing.

*

“The weather in this hemisphere is just horrifying,” Annette declared, stepping outside and wrapping Courtney’s slim shoulders in her coat. “I don’t know how you survive these winters.”

“You get used to it,” Courtney sniffled. She leaned her head against her mother’s shoulder.

“Now. You want to tell me what’s going on? I’m fairly certain you’re not pregnant.”

Courtney laughed through her tears. “No. I’m not pregnant.”

“Right, so what’s the problem, love?”

“What if I fuck everything up tonight?”

“Well…” Annette smiled, “It wouldn’t change anything, really. It wouldn’t change who you are.”

“I don’t know who I am,” Courtney admitted, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks.

Annette tucked her hair behind her ear. “Alright. Well, then, let me remind you.” She took her daughter’s hands and kissed them, then squeezed them tightly while she said, “You, my dear, are the headstrong, confident, independent girl who has never in your life backed down from an adventure. You left home when you were 17 because you found a program here in this city halfway across the world from everything you’ve ever known.”

Courtney shook her head. “You’ve got it all wrong, mum. I wasn’t...I wasn’t setting off on an adventure. I was running away.” Her voice broke. She felt so much shame, but she couldn’t bear lying to her mother any longer.

Annette took Courtney’s face in her hands. “Yes, you ran, but you ran towards something new. And look at this beautiful life you’ve built for yourself.”

Covering her face with her hands, Courtney’s voice shook as she said, “It’s not my life. It’s Bianca’s life, I don’t deserve any of this, it’s all because of her…”

Annette grasped Courtney’s shoulders, practically shaking her. “Oh really? Bianca wrote the music on your album? Did she? And sang the vocals? Bianca is getting up there to perform tonight? She’s giving your interviews?”

“No, but she…”

“Darling, listen, I’m not discounting everything that Bianca has done for you. Okay? But with or without her, this is what you were meant to do. And if you think that you don’t deserve it, or that you don’t deserve her, well then maybe she’s not the right person for you. Because you should be bursting with pride right now. Not because of all this, which is amazing, but it’s material. Because of who you /are/. Because you care about right and wrong. Because you are honest, and generous. Because I knew that when you left home, everywhere you went, you would leave things better than you found them.”

Courtney sighed. “You give me too much credit, mum.”

“Well, that’s what mothers do. It doesn’t make me wrong.”

Courtney closed her eyes. She did think that her mother was wrong, thought that she was seeing some rosy version of her that probably didn’t exist. A girl that Courtney wished she could be, but never felt that she’d ever truly been. Maybe if she just worked harder...

Gil poked his head out of the door. “What’s taking so fucking long out here? Annette, this is the longest damn pep talk in history. Courtney, there’s a whole theatre full of people waiting for you to shake your ass and sing some songs. Suck it up and come back inside before you freeze to death.”

“Well, that’s putting it bluntly,” Courtney said brightly, laughing and wiping her eyes. She squeezed Annette’s hand and followed her dad inside. “Fuck, Yara is gonna kill me, I think I cried off all my mascara.”

“I’m sure she can handle it,” Annette replied, squeezing her hand back.

***

As she waited for the lights to come up, Courtney gave herself a final, frantic pep talk. /Own the stage. Be a star. Be someone who deserves this. Be anyone but who you are inside./

And then the music began, and the stage lights hit her, burning her eyes, and adrenaline surged through her veins, and suddenly it all clicked, and everything she’d been working for made sense. And as she sang her heart out, lifted high in the air by two backup dancers, she realized that she was suddenly more herself than ever before. She was Courtney Motherfucking Act. And she was killing it.

***

Max could smell lemon, Ruby somehow always smelling like lemons, her hair in his nose, their legs intertwined. They were on the couch, Ruby snoring slightly since she had gotten home from work, a rerun of That 70s Show on the TV on low.

Max’s arm was asleep, but he couldn’t get himself to move, not when Ruby was there in his arms, soft, sweet, and perfect. He had talked to Katya, the teacher coming up in his friend as she had shown him horrifying diagrams on the internet, telling him with extreme enthusiasm of the inner workings of the female reproductive system.

Max had felt sick through the entire thing, he had considered maybe trying sex, for Ruby’s sake, not because he felt pressured, but because he could maybe consider possible trying it with Ruby. Max had been psyching himself up all day, his back slick with sweat when Ruby opened the door, Max telling himself that he could and would do it, but Ruby had just smiled at him when he had offered to ‘stick it to her good’ like Katya had suggested, and shook her head before pulling him to the couch.

Max wasn’t sure why Ruby liked him, or why he liked her so much, but he was so glad they both did.

***

Adore cheered, shoving her sister hard from behind. “Stand UP, you bitch, she was singing that song for you!”

Courtney had just finished a soulful ballad, and Adore was continuing her annoying habit of demanding standing ovations for every single number. Bianca turned, flashing her sister a dirty look. “Would you let me enjoy the fucking moment?”

“Enjoy it on your FEET!” Adore yelled over the crowd.

“Alright…” Courtney took a sip from the water bottle on her stool, using the moment to catch her breath. “So, for this next number, I need a little help. I’m gonna have to ask one of my oldest, bestest friends to come up on the stage with me for this one…” She looked out into the audience, squinting dramatically, eyes landing on Adore. “Ms. Delano, if you please…?”

“Who, me?” Adore replied, looking around. Alaska laughed.

“Can you please just get your ass onstage?”

“Yeah, okay.” Adore scrambled up the steps. She looked down. “I just...I don’t think this outfit is very…” she ripped open her baggy flannel shirt to reveal micro cutoffs and a halter top, earning a bunch of whoops and catcalls. She milked the moment, batting her eyelashes.

Courtney looked back at the audience, rolling her eyes. “You’ll have to use your imagination here, pretend Adore is wearing something slutty for this character.”

“Type casting.” Adore winked.

“Are you ready to fuckin’ sing or what?” Courtney asked, handing Adore a microphone.

“I’m ready! Let’s go!”

Courtney pointed to the band to cue them and the opening bars of Rent’s “Take Me or Leave Me” began to play.

“Every single day, I walk down the street,” Adore began. “I hear people say ‘Baaaby,’ so sweet… “Ever since puberty, everybody stared at me. “Boys, girls, I can’t help it, baby…”

Courtney tried to hide her grin, since her character was supposed to be glowering the whole time, but it was nearly impossible, watching her friend shine beside her. She managed to (mostly) keep it together, though, at least as far as the audience could tell.

As they hit the final notes, harmonizing perfectly, they managed to sing directly into each other’s faces without breaking down giggling like they’d done in every single rehearsal. “Take me baby...or leave me!”

They held a beat before shout-singing the last lines, “Guess I’m leaving! I’m gone!” and flouncing offstage in opposite directions.

In the wings, they turned around and Courtney caught Adore’s eyes. She was jumping up and down and clapping her hands, blowing kisses. Courtney reached out her hand as re-entered to bow. Adore put her arm around Courtney’s shoulders.

“You know,” Courtney said, “I never really understood why people thought Maureen was the hot one. Joanne is clearly the catch in that relationship.”

“The voluptous, Ivy-league educated woman of color with a full-time job? Yeah, I wonder what you like about her.” Adore rolled her eyes.

“Point taken. But like Maureen, she’s seriously such a twat, right? ‘Oh, I’m an artist, I refuse to pay rent...’”

Adore shook her head at Courtney sympathetically. “Awww...boo…so much self-loathing...”

“Shut up! That describes you just as much as me! More, even!” She crossed her arms.

Adore laughed and kissed Courtney on the cheek, branding her with a bright red lipstick mark. “Yes, buttercup.”

“I hate you. Go back to your seat before this turns into Freudian analysis.”

“Guess I’m leaving…” Adore said. “I’m gone!”

Courtney laughed as Adore skipped down the steps. “Good one.” She turned and walked back to her mark for the next number, turning back to the audience dramatically when the lighting changed. “Oh, baby baby…”

Adore jumped to her feet again, cheering loudly, as the giant video screens began playing Courtney’s “Baby One More Time” video. She nudged Bianca. “Look, B, it’s your favorite video! Stand up!!”

Bianca rolled her eyes. “You’re exhausting,” she replied to Adore, eyes still glued to Courtney, who she could swear just caught her eye and winked. Damn, she was hot up there. Suddenly, Bianca didn’t mind how much her feet hurt anymore.

***

After the concert, there was a small gathering at a local club and Courtney really expected to feel nothing but relief. But to her surprise, despite being exhausted, she missed the stage, and the lights, and the feeling she’d gotten when she was up there. She even managed a lengthy conversation with two LiveNation promoters to talk about adding dates to her tour. Just as she was running out of steam, and losing a patience for both of them talking directly to her chest the whole time, she was rescued by Jinkx, who put an arm around her and deftly guided her away, directing her attention to a conversation across the bar.

“So, see that dude Latrice is talking to? That’s my theatrical agent, David Greenberg. Right about now, he’s telling her that they’re doing another Cabaret revival and he thinks you killed ‘Maybe This Time’ and he wants to get you a meeting with the producers and are you interested in Broadway.”

“Are you SERIOUS?!” Courtney exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hand.

“Yup.”

Courtney turned and threw her arms around Jinkx’s shoulders, hugging her tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she cried.

Jinkx laughed. “You sang the song, honey.”

“Hey, bitch, get your hands off my woman!” Adore called, walking over with her arm draped over Alaska, clearly three sheets to the wind.

Jinkx rolled her eyes. “Which one of us are you talking to?” She pulled Adore’s hair gently.

Alaska laughed. “Good question!”

“You guys are all so mean to me, all the time…” Adore slurred, pouting.

“Oh yeah?” Jinkx asked, wrapping her in a hug and kissing her temples. “Like this?

Adore smiled sleepily at Courtney over Jinkx’s shoulder. “Yeah, so mean…”

Courtney laughed. “Yes, you really look like you’re suffering there. We should host a telethon.”

“A tragic life,” Alaska agreed, giggling.

***

“Ahem.”

Bianca turned from the bar to see Annette standing at her shoulder. She smiled. “Hi, Annette! Great show, huh? Your daughter is amazing.”

“Yes, she’s…” Annette smiled. “It was quite special for us to be here. I’m thrilled that we were part of this. She’s really something.”

Bianca nodded, sipping her wine. “She’s worked her ass off, so seeing it pay off like this...it’s incredible. I’m so proud of her.”

Annette sipped her own drink thoughtfully. “She may need to hear you say that...which isn’t to say that you don’t. She just...seems a little fragile right now.”

“Oh?” Bianca tried to keep her voice light, but her heart began to pound a little.

“I’m not sure why, or if it’s even my place to say anything. Maybe it’s all the pressure of this album, and the expectations. I’ve certainly never done anything like this, so I can’t really imagine, and she’s new to this world, so perhaps it will pass once she sees that she can sustain a career. Or maybe it’s a side effect of being an artist. I don’t really know. But it did seem that her confidence was shaken tonight, before the show.”

“Did I...do you think I’m adding to that pressure? Or--”

“Oh, heavens no, love! I didn’t mean that. I just...be patient with her. I can tell she’s trying to figure everything out, and it may take her awhile.”

“Okay…” Bianca felt slightly rattled. What was Courtney trying to figure out? Was their relationship something that she was uncertain about? She wanted to ask more questions, but didn’t want to ask Annette to betray her daughter’s confidence. So she finished by merely saying, “Thank you.”

“No, Bianca, thank you. For your kindness, and your generosity. We’ve had a lovely time.” Annette pulled her in for a big, warm hug, the kind that is distinctly maternal, and some of her anxiety dissipated, just a little.

***

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, V-LISTERS! Welcome to the holiest holiday of the year!

Obviously Li’l Courtney Act’s record label knows they are onto something with those nude pictures coming out, because they suddenly dropped her next music video, for Kaleidoscope, which is one of our favorite songs on the album. The video is about as millennial as it could get, all gender-swapping, sexuality-blurring, 90’s throwback fashion with a big rave type party situation at the end. I mean we didn’t really get it but she looks happy.

However, Li’l Miss Act explains it herself in this interview in today’s issue of The Advocate, which we’re just gonna post here verbatim because it’s just, so /very./ I mean it’s sort of equal parts insufferable and mildly endearing. WE ARE WATCHING YOU COURTNEY!

Kisses, V

THE ADVOCATE: So tell us about what inspired you when writing this song, and conceiving this video. Is all feels very personal.

COURTNEY ACT: It is! Very much! I think the lines that blur between gender and sexuality are really interesting. I always identified as straight, up until the beginning of this year, really, until I fell in love with a woman and it was like...suddenly I was seeing colors for the first time.

TA: Yeah, we heard B’s good in bed.

CA: That’s not what I meant! I mean I guess that too. (laughter) But, I also realized that any time I was really attracted to a guy, I told myself it was because of their strapping masculinity. Which is a thing we’re programmed to think is desirable, especially in places like where I grew up that have very provincial ideas about gender. But then, when I really broke it down, I realized that I liked these men, not because of their masculinity, but in spite of it. You know, like the football player with the long, beautiful eyelashes. Or this one guy I dated where i was just like, obsessed with his butt. And when I think about him now, like, that was a very womanly butt.

TA: A womanly butt?

CA: Yeah! Like round, and soft, and, you know?...Okay, and my brother--

TA: That was a /terrible/ transition!

CA: I know, I’m sorry. But my brother is a drag queen, and like, he dresses up in these beautiful clothes and becomes, not female but like this idea, this fantasy of what a female is supposed to be, and it’s so intriguing and beautiful, but in a whole new way, and I fell in love with drag watching him, because--

TA: This sounds a little...Flowers in the Attic.

CA: That’s what B says! I don't know that book. We don’t read incest porn where I come from.

TA: Maybe you should, it sounds like you’d like it.

CA: (Laughter) Maybe it would hit too close to home.

TA: This is taking an unusual turn…

CA: Sorry. But back to the video, I wanted to play with gender because I’m thinking about it a lot, because of my own views and how they’re changing. I always thought I had to be a certain way, as a female, and that men had to be a certain way, but I think all of that is kind of being turned on it’s head. And now every day I wonder, am I wearing this because I want to, or because society is telling me I should? Maybe I want to wear a really “girly” dress in one moment, and then more androgynous or traditionally masculine clothing the next day, and that’s okay. And it’s not just clothes, but that’s the most obvious expression, the first thing we see. I worked in fashion for awhile and I’m surrounded by it all the time because of Bianca and it’s just like...there’s so much EXPECTATION and I kind of have a natural need to question things, but also this desire to be easy-going, so that’s always an internal struggle.

TA: So basically you’re human.

CA: Is that what that is? What a terrible affliction. Is there a cure?

TA: None that doctors recommend.

CA: (Laughs) Right. So anyway, as you can tell, I’m in my head a lot.

TA: You don’t say!

CA: (giggles)

TA: We hear your next video is much lighter.

CA: Oh, yeah, Ecstasy. It’s pure fluff. Just a fun dance song. Dedicated to my bestie.

TA: Adore?

CA: Yeah.

TA: Wait just a second. You wrote a song called “Ecstasy” about your girlfriend’s sister?

CA: Okay, when you say it like that, it sounds bad. It’s not ABOUT Adore, exactly. It’s about us TOGETHER.

TA: THAT SOUNDS WORSE!

CA: No! Like, it’s about how we go out dancing together, and the freedom that brings.

TA: I’m gonna call you out here. The lyrics are “I kiss your lips, leave it on your tongue--”

CA: I’m not kissing Adore! We’re kissing other people! Oh god, this is a losing battle, isn’t it…? (cracking up)

TA: I think this is between you and Bianca. I mean, you did kiss Adore in your video.

CA: Yeah, well, Bianca knows that was the only time. And she was there. And besides, Bianca doesn’t get jealous. Because hello? She’s Bianca del Rio.

TA: Ha!

CA: It’s true! She’s been with like, supermodels and Oscar winners. She’s not exactly in a position to feel threatened.

TA: So the rumors are true?

CA: You heard the part about seeing colors for the first time, right? (wink)

TA: And on that note…

***

“Oh god, I’m so full.”

“Maybe we should have stopped three Kit Kats ago..”

“No way.” Trixie shook his head and reached out, his free hand rummaging through the giant bowl of candy on the table. Trixie was laying on the couch, his head in Katya’s lap, his pants unbuttoned as his stomach was beyond bloated. He and Katya had decided to spend Halloween in, Ivan not old enough to go out trick and treating, so it seemed natural for them to not go out, to watch Halloween films and to give candy to the children who came to their door.

Ivan had had a great night, the little guy loving the fact that both of his parents were home at the same time, the fruit he was allowed to gorge on and that he was dressed up as an avocado, through Katya was pretty sure her son didn’t have a concept of the soft felt costume Trixie had sewn for him. There was one minor flaw in their plan though. Katya and Trixie had both forgotten that there were no kids in the building, and so they had ended up with enough candy to feed a whole army.

“Your stomach is so tight…” Katya smiled, her hand gently kneading Trixie’s tummy, her nails scratching his skin. “My sweet little sugar bum.”

“I think you mean sugar belly.”

Katya laughed, and Trixie joined her, his entire body moving as she leaned down to kiss him.

“I love you. I love you so much.” Katya gave Trixie another kiss, quickly catching his lip between her teeth, her hand gliding down to his open pants, her fingers sneaking into his underwear and wrapping around his cock.

“Nnh, nooo.” Trixie whined, the man squirming around.

“No?” Katya smiled, another sweet kiss landing on Trixie’s lips.

“I can’t move.” Katya could feel how desperately Trixie tried to pump his hips, his belly holding him down, her hand moving torturously slow.

“Did my big strong man eat too much candy?”

“No..” Trixie shook his head, and Katya sped up her hand, Trixie's mouth falling open.

“That’s what I imagined.” Katya smiled and grabbed a piece of chocolate to force between her husband's lips.

[djlyer]

Adventure Time, May 21, 2019

Collin Wynter and  David Breckman joined me in the booth this evening to talk about events coming up for PRIDE week next week, which includes a play that they are in.  The Adventures of Butt Boy and Tigger is a look at dating in cyber space, sweet and spicy this play gets right down to it, lighthearted and fun laughs to share in this one. Find your tickets here:

https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4236274

Join in all the PRIDE fun next week, hear about it here and get the App or check online at pridewinnipeg.com

Psychedelic Furs - Forever Now - Love My Way

The Tuneyards - Bird Brains - Real Live Flesh

Peaches - The Teaches of Peaches - Fuck the Pain Away  Parklife - Girls and

Blur - Parklife - Girls and Boys

The Tragically Hip - November 5, 2002, Ancienne Belgique Brussels, North Belgium - Little Bones

Dave Matthews Band - Come Tomorrow - Virginia in the Rain

Adore Delano - Till Death Do Us Party - I Adore U

Geri Halliwell - Scream if you Wanna go Faster - It’s Raining Men

[beholdme]

All the Many Shades of Gerry - Chapter 6

Chapters: 6/19

Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Gerard Keay/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist

Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Gerard Keay, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Sasha James, Gertrude Robinson, Elias Bouchard

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Library AU, Librarian Jon, Artist Gerry, Trans Male Character, Trans Martin Blackwood, Canon Asexual Character, Asexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Ace Subtype - Sex Positive, Polyamory, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Romantic Fluff, Falling In Love, Boys in Skirts, Kissing, Demisexual Gerard Keay, Minor Character Death, Past Character Death, Canon-Typical Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Flirting, Minor Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker, Adventures in Hair Dying, Happy Ending, Banter, Gerry has a lot of sass, Gerard Keay is Morticia Adams, Jon is a very grumpy Librarian, Martin adores them anyway.

Summary: In which Gerry is a kaleidoscope and Jon and Martin can't help falling in love with him.

He happens to love them back.

Find it on Ao3

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

"Do you really hate Keats that much?" Martin asks Jon, sounding faintly betrayed. They're sitting on a pile of cushions in front of Gerry's big window, while the man himself stands painting nearby.

There has been no previous mention of Keats since they arrived several hours ago, nor in the entire course of Gerry knowing them together.

Granted, he had barely been awake when they had arrived, having rolled out of bed just seconds before the knock came, but Gerry thought he had been keeping fairly decent track of the overall conversation.

He had thought Sunday brunch was a great idea when Jon suggested it during the week. Only remembering half-way through his shift the previous night that he was normally dead asleep during that time on a Sunday. But needs must, and after coffee and food, he was feeling downright perky at having two cute boys in his apartment.

Jon and Martin had settled into the pillow pile to occupy themselves while Gerry wandered off to paint, and they had spent several hours each engaged in their own artistic endeavors, simply enjoying the energy of one another's company.

Jon had started out reading but kept getting distracted by the way the light in the studio catches in Gerry's dark red hair, tied up in a chaotic messy bun, and had idly been strumming Gerry's old acoustic guitar for a while instead. Martin had been writing in a notebook, tongue often caught between his teeth in contemplation, glasses pushed up onto the top of his hair.

Jon stops playing abruptly and Gerry winces at the discordant note the guitar lets out in protest.

"I think Keats is pretty cool," offers Gerry cheerfully.

"Thank you, Gerard, very helpful," grouses Jon in return, glaring at him. Gerry blows him a kiss and returns to his canvas.

"I don't hate Keats, Martin." Jon's voice is slow and soft in the way that indicates that he's actually trying to be sensitive, "I just think he's overrated. After spending so much time in uni pouring over his boring symbolism, I'm just sick of him."

Jon's English literature degree, which Gerry remembers with some humour does not qualify him for a job at a library, had been a pain to get, and he doesn't always remember that part of his life with any great fondness.

"I know, but-" Martin cuts off abruptly and there's unexpected silence for a moment.

"Gerry, do you have a cat?" Jon's voice is incredulous and somewhat delighted at the new development.

"Yes," Gerry replies, very casually. He looks around to find that the cat has indeed wandered in and is sitting in a shaft of sunlight, black fur shining. "Jon, Martin, meet Saturn. Saturn, this is Jon and Martin."

Saturn blinks at them, before abruptly standing, showing them his butt, and then walking over to twine between Gerry's legs. Gerry deposits his painting supplies nearby and reaches down to scoop Saturn up, before carrying him over to sit with the others.

"He's not always great with new people, but hopefully he'll warm up to you. He can be a great cuddler when he wants to be." Saturn eyes them all speculatively before sitting on his own cushion and curling up in a fluffy ball.

"So he's like the Jon cat?" Martin asks, sneaking out a finger to scratch Saturn's fluffy little ears. He purrs lightly and Gerry grins to see them getting along.

"Well-" Jon splutters indignantly, face warming beneath his tan.

They both laugh and Gerry leans towards Martin to whisper conspiratorially, "He's not even embarrassed about being bad with new people. He's shy that we know how good of a cuddler he is."

Jon presses his lips together with a long-suffering expression, also reaching out a hand to pet the purring feline. Saturn rolls over towards him and gets a belly rub for his efforts.

"There we go," Gerry mutters happily. "All my favorite boys, getting along so well."

There's more sputtering from both Jon and Martin at that, but Gerry only laughs and leans over to kiss the tops of their heads.

***

Jon sighs and rubs the back of his neck, trying to release the burning tension sitting in all the joints of his spine.

It's 1 A.M. and the library is long, long closed, doors locked and lights turned out. He doesn't know how he gets here sometimes. Elias has certainly never overtly demanded he work overtime, and yet Jon always feels the need to push a little harder, do more than anyone would consider even remotely reasonable.

He accepted a while ago, that his irrational drive for perfection in this job stems from his self-doubt and fear of inadequacy.

And yet, that understanding does nothing to get him home at a reasonable hour, even when he remembers the two men who always seem to be around when he needs them.

It's unfathomable to Jon how he managed to find himself in a relationship with not one but two incredibly understanding and supportive men who love him. He considers it a downright miracle that they also seemed to be finding their way towards loving one another. Although, who wouldn't love Martin and Gerry?

He checks his watch again. Martin is definitely asleep, and even just stumbling in to lie in bed with him would disturb him. He knows the sweet man would say he doesn't mind, but he feels like if he can't get back at a reasonable hour, he doesn't deserve to sleep next to him at all.

Gerry, on the other hand, is mostly nocturnal. A quick check of his phone shows that it's actually Friday, and he is working at the bar for another hour or so.

While Jon has his phone in his hand, he opens up their text chain.

Gerry: Don't work too late. Martin and I want you functional so that we can drag you out to that street market this weekend.

Jon: I won't.

Gerry: Yes, you will. But try to keep it pre-midnight ;)

'He's awake,' Jon tells himself firmly. 'He'll be happy to see you, even if you did work even later than he predicted.'

So Jon packs up his stuff and leaves the library. He considers a cab, but it's only a few blocks and he thinks the fresh air and exercise will unlock the tension in his poor abused spine.

He arrives at the bar just before closing. Gerry is busy charming a few drunk regulars out the door with promises of undying love and that the bar will be back tomorrow afternoon. After they stumble off, he turns to find Jon walking slowly towards him. Gerry is wearing combat boots, dark jeans, and a loose leather tank top, over a lace undershirt. He has his favorite hoop in his nose, and the light glints off the many piercings in his ears.

"Why, Gerry Delano, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." Gerry grins at Jon's teasing tone and echoed words, no sign of recrimination about him.

"I always am." Jon reaches Gerry at that, and they draw together, pressing tired lips against each other gently.

Gerry's hair has faded out a bit from the moody red, and Jon slips his hands into his hair to hold him close for a moment longer. They rock together on the street for a long, frozen moment.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Gerry asks, pulling away and sliding his hands down Jon's arms to connect their fingers.

"I missed you," Jon confesses shakily, emotion spilling out of his voice.

"Good, I missed you too." Gerry drags him into the bar and fills the air with stories from his shift while he and his colleagues clean for the evening, closing up the bar.

They walk home arm in arm, Gerry flirting with him mercilessly. Jon sheds the day's tension as they go, and by the time they arrive at Gerry's loft, he's warm and relaxed.

He supposes he should probably go back to his own flat, but it's not a place he spends the night very often anymore, and he fears the creeping insomnia that will take him without Martin and Gerry around to soothe him into sleep. Besides, Gerry is right here with him, and he seems so pleased to have him around.

"Are you going to paint now?" Jon asks as they shed their work clothes. Jon is sorry to see the lace shirt go, but Gerry makes up for it by simply throwing a kimono over his bare chest. He throws him a T-shirt, so Jon wears that and his boxers as they settle on the couch. Gerry is still wearing his jeans, but both their feet are bare as they tangle on the coffee table.

"I'm not sure, do you want to?" Gerry asks as he lights a cigarette and offers Jon one.

"What? Do I want to paint?" Jon's voice is taken aback. He takes the cigarette and lights it.

Gerry shrugs as if it's obvious. "Sure, you used to draw with me when we were younger."

"Yes, but…"

"But what, Jonathon? You're too old to paint now? Too proper and straight-laced to get charcoal under your nails? No more piercings, no more creativity?" Gerry sways into his shoulder, drawing smoke into his lungs and letting it out as he speaks.

"No, it's not that." Jon grouses back. Gerry hums derisively in return. "I just don't see the point of wasting your drawing paper when you can do that." Jon gestures wildly towards Gerry's most recently completed painting.

Gerry eyes it critically. It's the commission that he's been slogging over petulantly. It's large and impressively done, he can accept that, but he doesn't like it very much. He hates the subject and composition Peter Lukas has demanded and compensated by pouring all his best technique into it. It makes him sad and sullen to look at, and Gerry will be relieved when it's finally gone.

"For every painting like that I've ever done, Jon," Gerry spills all his affection into the name, and Jon can feel it, "I've done a thousand ridiculous sketches and colour studies. Art is time, and diligence and joy as much as it ever is masterpieces. You don't sit down one day and magically just know how to be a maestro."

Jon looks over and up at him with big green eyes. Gerry can't help but lean over and slide his hand into Jon's hair, pressing their lips together for a moment. "So Mr. Sims. Can I tempt you to make some art with me?"

***

What they create in those soft early morning hours can only generously be called art, even Gerry's efforts. But they laugh and kiss and somehow get covered in charcoal and acrylic paint. Gerry even allows Jon to choose the Spotify playlist. Slow piano music with nature sounds play softly in the background of their impromptu art party, reminding Gerry of nothing so much as Jon himself.

The dawn is just breaking through Gerry's massive bank of windows when he allows Jon to drag him off to bed, and they collapse together in the soft morning light.

***

Late the next morning, Martin lets himself into the flat and bounces down onto the bed between them, sending Saturn flying off in a huff.

"So, I heard there was a slumber party. I brought breakfast."

"Fuck off," Gerry slurs, but rather undermines his own point when he pulls Martin down and tucks himself around him. Jon does the same from the other side, and Martin finds himself in the middle of a very sleepy man sandwich.

Gerry seems to instantly fall back asleep, but Jon eventually drags himself to consciousness, even buried in Martin's neck. "What's time?"

"Almost ten," he responds, very cheerfully.

"WHAT-" Jon flies out of bed in a blind panic, desperately looking for his phone, which is dead when he finds it anyway. "I'm already so fucking late!"

Gerry groans.

"Relax Jon." Martin tries to soothe him but is hindered by the fact that Gerry is still clinging to him in a very enjoyable way. "Gerry, love, let me go. Jon is having a meltdown."

"How unusual," Gerry mutters very unsupportively, Jon manages to notice. He flops over onto his other side and attempts to bury himself in pillows instead of Martin.

"Jon, breathe." Swinging up to sit on the edge of the bed, Martin uses his best man-disaster steadying tone. Gerry has come to realize what that tone is, but he doesn't mention it to anyone. "It's Saturday."

Jon slumps and drops the pants he was desperately trying to wrangle himself into.

"It's Saturday?" He asks.

"It's Saturday," Gerry confirms from the pillow fort.

Jon glares at Martin in a very put upon way. Martin smiles at him brightly.

He turns and wanders off to the bathroom in an effort to collect himself. Martin resumes his spot in the middle of the bed, and drags Gerry towards him, tucking himself into his back.

"Hmmm. So much noise on a weekend." The goth mutters as he attempts to resettle himself in Martin's arms.

"I'll make it up to you later," Martin promises, pressing a kiss behind his ear.

"You let that happen on purpose, didn't you." It's not a question. "Just to see that look on his face."

"Yes," Martin says, chuckling into Gerry's pillow.

"Very good, sir."

[survivekohsai]

Episode 1 - Should We Just Call It A Day And Vote Out A Heterosexual Or What ~ Isaac

Okay so right away I like trixie! Shes funny and I think we'll work well together. RTP is cool too since he likes HAIM and all HAIM lovers are great. Its fun having raf back on my tribe since we played before but I want to make new relationships so I dont want to just default to him. I also played with Eric before but voted him out so awk i hope he doesn't hold a grudge!! Im liking the tribe tho but hating this twist so much. Im using my idol at the first tribal FDSKJFSDH but then what if I get voted next since i dont have one.

I'm really nervous because I don't know anyone that well on my tribe except for Logan, and they all seem to know each other. I'm gonna slap on a smile and pretend that I have confidence.

WOW I JUST GOT IN AND IM EXCITED!!!!! well ummm I like to say ummm that everyone having idols is like ummm a bad thing because... if everyone plays it but one person.... they be idol'd out umm... yea. and plus... I have to like keep myself safe somehow...

This tribe? Loving the concept. I want to work with Bryce because I know he's a sweet baby boy. He'll be loyal if I scoop him up first. Also, Trixie is as cracked as ever. I love that we all have idols. Guaranteed safety is a concept I love, but Trixie also told me she has an extra idol. Now, she might be lying since she said that Willow told her that one "houseguest" got an extra idol. This ain't Big Brother, and I would have preferred if she did not have an extra idol. She is straight up lying to me, but we'll see how it goes from here. Tonight is for forging bonds.

Okay, this season is cute as heck! I am gonna give a full tribal first impression. Akito: My boy, we work well together and hopefully that can continue here. Isaac: Tends to get medevaced but I still adore this sweet boy and I look forward to playing with him again Jackson: Very social initially! I see myself in him, he also just started college and yadayada. Kelsey: We've exchanged like 4 messages but nice enough Linus:  A GOOD BEAN WHERE DID HE GO IN HOENN WE JUST DONT KNOW Mo: Pun Boy tm, but this is my turf so we're gonna have to share that title QuilLynn: Listen. She likes adore Delano. that's all I need Tyler: HE DOESNT LIKE MY PUNS that's all, see ya later 

Love my tribe not doing much for the challenge! I got 9 of our 16 points so hope it shows that I'm trying. Although I only got 9 of a possible 18 possible points I could have gotten so yikes 50%! 

im shocked we won immunity i didnt do anything sooooooOoo I was busy checking to see if i was pregnant jk

People I've socialized with: 0 

We meet again Raffy... We. Meet. Again.

I love my tribe its so cute! Jackson is my friend from TS Ebola and I love him so much so yay! Mo is great I'm really glad Him me and Jackson could form a good group so early! Logan is great he guested a week in a BB i'm in and he was nice and said he's glad to be playing a game with me so woo! Tyler is nice so far but you can tell he is cocky af and I know even though he's new he's good at these games! I'm hoping we lose immunity, because I think I'd like to take tyler out asap, but if we win at least I know i'm not first boot. 

So like yay for reward. Like winning a competition? A concept. Now, I feel like sending RTP to exile was the best decision since he was not going to participate in the challenge, but sending Tyler there was also an added bonus. I've played with Tyler before and I do not really trust him. I do not want him to make merge or be on the same tribe as him. So like, he can go sooner rather than later. Finally, me vs. Mo? We love a hero/villain dynamic. :) 

We lost the reward challenge, it would of been nice to go to exile and date someone on the other tribe. We would of some funnnnnnn like bring out the margarita bring out the nachos and quesadilla with guacamole. Because it's about to get HOT in here!

ok so my tribe is cool except trixie...they are annoying...im over it...and i got to go to exile because im gonna be at a wedding....lol take that! 

so... we lost. yep. hoping to kill an inactive, hoping to not die. that's all

We won! Loving the concept! Being safe is such an icon and Willow is such an icon. Anyways, I plan on working with Bryce, Trixie, and Richie because they seem like nice people. Literally nothing else to say because no gameplay yet.

Oh god.... oh god no..... this is bad this is really bad

im trying to get richie to showmance me and then we can later on down the road suddenly find out we're cousins and i think that'd be pretty funny. also i love willow she is so sweet and I hope she has a fun time hosting

I'm literally so fucking gay and I just want a showmance like ???? I get here and the only people who I can legally attempt to seduce are Tyler and Mo? So obviously I pick Tyler because Australians are hot and Tyler looks hot and that's fun. So I was like "lol let's vote out a str8 yeah" and then Willow descended from the heavens on her hoverboard and was like "he str8 scum" and I can't believe I'm about to get voted out because I slandered heterosexuals.

Guess who might be using their Jordan Pines idol! THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!

Yay my tribe won immunity. Queens! I just hope that we can keep winning because I haven't talked to anyone. God I need a better social game.

" it will have juice and im living for juice" - Tyler 2k17 Heyo im alive! I was sent off to exile this round... And i came back with an Australian Super Idol! I was given the option to mutiny my tribe, but its a no from me, i tried convincing Ryan to come over but he has some sense in him so he didn't :(. The idol hunt was really intense, there was about 4 different clues leading other clues. It was an adventure and a half. So at 6am i found it! (With no sleep cause sleep is for the weak). Im not telling anyone about the advantage cause.... everyone's a ho. This whole tribal situation is very complicated with all the idols going around. I expect me to be a target this round so im 100% playing an idol considering i have two! I feel like if we just get 3 or 4 people to vote one person who won’t expect it we’ll be good it's hard because you want the vote to be unanimous so everyone feels included but this twist means we have to blindside someone every time Which means we might have to tell the person we vote for a name Yeah its going to be difficult But I bet the person getting the most votes will play an idol so if we just do our own little thing we should be good - My thoughts atm, also sent that to Jackson But now i think I'm going to vote for someone who would never guess that anyone else would vote for them, get rid of a juicy target while i can. Not sure if my vote will have any impact but it will have juice and im living for juice ;). No ones really chatting to me and im assuming most people will play their idols... so #YoloSwag

Yay we won reward!!! Happy to start off on a good note. Sad tho that regan striked. Hope she starts trying more. But I guess it would be nice to have an inactive to vote if we lost a challenge. Trying to socialize with 8 other people is hard but I think I'm doing alright so I hope I've made no enemies.

Tower 7 was a controlled demolition.

Hi there~! I'm Kelsey Valentana Mikaelson, coming to you live and IN full HD colour~! And, what else, it's time for a tribal! Going into the tribal, I was kind of groaning since I was fully expecting to be targeted but alas; I don't think it's going to be me! Now, don't get me wrong, I get that "as soon as you think you're safe, you're GONE!" and all that, but the drama doesn't seem to be circulating around me on tonight, and it's a welcome change! I think, for the most part, people are more set on letting Isaac get the boot tonight, which...eh. I tried throwing Linus' name out there but it seemed to get a bad reaction. Oh well. I still don't want to see Isaac Thunderf*ck go tonight however and this idol twist is very well placed to prevent that. I told Isaac he might receive votes tonight but, for the main part, it's between Linus and Tyler. I think Isaac really genuinely trusts me but I can't tell him he's the majority because...well, I'm actually being SPOKEN to! It's such a weird thing to happen to me, usually I have to do all the bone bashing for myself, but people are actually coming to ME and telling me options, it's uncanny! I don't want there to be any chance AT all of me losing those resources. Speaking of resources, if I had to guess who's puppermaster-ing at this point, I'd look over at lil' Jackson over there. I thought it was sweet and romantic that he wanted to talk to me about the vote and, don't get me wrong, it makes me feel swell but NOT swell enough to realize that the people he suggested to me were the very names everyone else seemed to have "heard" and not came up with themselves. For the most part,  I think my best option is just not...being Krazy Kels and blasting it, but sweaty, I'm only going to be calling Ms. Jackson if she nasty, you feel me? All in all, I'm feeling rather confident about tonight. Either Isaac goes and everyone feels comfortable with telling me plans; Tyler goes who's just...slimey. Or Linus goes! Who's basically just here for the food, I feel. Anyways, say goodbye to Derrick or Kim Chi. And THAT'S all there is to it~! Christmas was ROBBED! -Kelsey V Mikaelson

Hi I'm Jackson and this is my first Confessional. Okay so yeah about this tribe. Not sure how I feel. It's been helpful not having a One World twist (meaning I don't have an obligation to get to know the other tribe) but I haven't made a lot of connections here so it's kind of a wash. Quillynn is my babe and I hope people don't figure out how close we are (because I'm not turning on her anytime soon, that's for sure). Mo quickly pulled us in for an alliance, and while I like him, he's gotten a little attached to Tyler which is kinda messy. Akito is kind of strange but she's nice, and I think not many people talk to her so she's looking to work with me. I get paranoid vibes from Logan but otherwise I like him. Linus, Isaac and Kelsey have been barely active at all, which is problematic but it kind of makes me want them to stay over someone like Tyler (who I think is kind of a big threat). Either way we lost both challenges so that kinda sucks, although at least it means my friend Trixie is safe. Not that I don't want the other tribe to go to tribal at least once though. Any opportunity to finally vote Ryan M. out should be taken, as the students of Kvaloya learned the hard way. Oh by the way I hate this idol twist. I mean I'm probably gonna like it later on in the game when I want to vote out someone who's already used theirs, but for now, it sucks. The people I'm working with want to split the votes between Tyler and Isaac in case one of them idols, but I'm worried something could go wrong. Also it'd be awkward if Isaac went home and Tyler basically knew that he was the backup in case Isaac idoled (which is the truth of the situation, since Mo doesn't want Tyler out even though me and Q do). Okay I'm trying to get this done cause my friend wants to go to dinner so let's  end this here and hope I don't get voted out with like one vote lol

(Late)

okay yoooooo I’m here I’m still recovering from the trauma of my last game so my heart is still healing and I’m not running on full steam at the moment so i haven’t really talked to anyone theres no one on this tribe that i really have clicked with which kinda sucks but its mostly my fault for not speaking to anyone but also no one reached out to me either so they all suck too!!!! we won the first reward and immunity so things are looking good hopefully we can maintain this momentum so that i have time to build some relationships before things set off!

VOTING CONFESSIONALS

Tyler Kelsey voting you because both Tyler and Isaac are gonna play their idols. Maybe but this is a gamble and this vote is a throwaway. Might be me not gonna be surprised if it is everyone having idols is bad.

(Voting for Tyler)�� Tower 7 was a controlled demolition

My vote tonight is for Isaac. I’m sorry love, I hope things work out for you <3

Tyler is a manipulative backstabbing little snake in the grass and while hes not masterminding now sweaty, tyler, it's your time to PACK

Logan - I don't know what the fuck is going on but I might as well throw my vote on somebody. Sorry dude. 

I will also be voting for Logan cause YOLO swag money get bitches 

Logan voted out (4) Tyler - (2) Isaac - 2 Logan - 1 Kelsey

Tyler, Isaac, and Linus idoled

Jackson, Quillynn, Linus, and Kelsey voted Tyler

Logan and Mo voted Isaac

Tyler and Isaac voted Logan

Akito voted Kelsey

[artificialqueens]

You're welcome to join me

A/N:

“After a long night of partying with the BOTS tour cast, Bianca makes her way to her hotel room to relax. She gets out of drag and she starts walking down memorylane, thinking about her time with her sister Adore on the show and after er success and before she knows it, the younger queen turns up behind her hotel room door. Bianca takes the younger in to let her shower and sleep the night away. Adore, however, has other plans ready.”

I do not know anything about writing about Drag Race queens and this is my first fic ever, so please take it with a shot of tequila or at least get medicated before reading this. I tried my best and I am semi-proud of this fic….or so I keep telling myself.

Biadore is a challenging pair to write about, but I hope this gives off the right vibe and I didn’t just completely ruin one of the biggest ships in Drag Race herstory. I also used female pronouns throughout the fic and didn’t really mention their boy names, which I hope no one gets triggered by.

This fic is not influenced by All Stars 2 so just act like it didn’t happen at all. Also, this fic is not related to reality in any way. I just took a random set of queens for my ideal BOTS tour cast, which has actually never happened.

I hope you enjoy this!!

Party!!

It was close to 3 am. Bianca had just arrived to her hotel room for the night. It had felt like the BOTS after party would never turn down, but she had finally managed to sneak out. Not that she didn’t enjoy partying just a much as she used to. She still loved a good turn-up when she had the chance, but the queen knew that she wanted to be down for breakfast early the next morning. She also knew, from experience, that flying an 8 hour flight hungover was one of the worst things a human could ever live through. She had had a drink or two, but she was feeling practically nothing. Her tolerance for all kinds of substances had grown quite thick throughout her career. She knew however that some of the younger queens, who were lightweights to say the least, were going to look like hell the next morning, which made Bianca feel a small glint of joy. She really wasn’t a bitch, it just felt good, for once, not to be the one sitting with sunglasses on at the breakfast table.

She sat onto her bed and finally pulled the black wig off of her head.  She pulled the wig cap off and placed her left hand on top of her head, feeling her scalp. She started pulling the layers of eyelashes off, that were still somehow clinging onto her lids. She took her time getting out of drag, because she honestly had no reason to rush the process. The queen had grown quite attached to the process of going from Bianca to Roy. She liked to watch the change happen step by step. She didn’t have an identity crisis while getting out of drag, she knew the difference between her drag persona and her real boy-self.

The queen did however enjoy seeing the lines between the two blur as she removed the dress and lashes, looking at herself in the mirror.

She had always thought about the statement “beauty without a gender” and it was something that truly fascinated the queen. You did not need a label to be beautiful. You could be feminine and still a male or you could be masculine and still be a woman or you didn’t need to be anything out of the “options” available. You could be anything you wanted and still be beautiful, beauty did not require a gender or identity, it could be anything you wanted it to be. The queen hadn’t really let the thought about genderless beauty into her mind before going through his journey on drag race. She had, of course, come across people identifying as gender fluid or non-binary before the show, that was kind of given when you worked in the business she did, but that wasn’t quite the same thing.

The only way she could bring her vision alive was by describing her sister, Adore.

The younger queen had gotten her attention from the moment they entered the workroom and were faced with the first group of queens. The other queens had all been quite blank and one dimensional to Bianca, except for Adore. The younger was so androgynous, that for a second she was sure she was looking at a rebellious teenage girl who had snuck into the workroom and just taken a seat. Adore had had her eyes smoked with black and purple eyeshadow and her lips were painted almost black. The sight was something else. Bianca was taken aback to say the least. Their drag styles were completely different and so were their personalities, but for some reason she felt like the younger queen was her biggest competition and her best possible ally at the same time. Adore’s attitude and competing style had been a shock to Bianca, because she hadn’t honestly expected something so thought-out and powerful from someone so young.

Over the last few months however, things had taken a turn. The tour was going just fine and Adore owned the stage every time she performed. Her voice and stage presence were something nobody else had. However, it wasn’t the tour itself that had Bianca confused, it was Adore’s behaviour during the after parties. Bianca had always known that Adore got “affectionate” when the queen was high or drunk. The older didn’t really mind Adore giving an endless amount of lap dances to her, but the fact that Adore actually showed up to Bianca’s hotel room door almost every time after a good after party was something that threw Bianca off a little bit. She wasn’t used to queens getting so close and physical with each other. It was quite clear that, if given the opportunity, Adore wouldn’t mind going even further, but Bianca had always tried to put a stop to it before things got too far. Yes, Adore had gotten a mouthful of her during one especially wild night, but after that nothing had really happened between the two off stage. Bianca did not consider herself to be emotionally available for any type of relationship right now and she had gotten her fair share of STD scares with one night stands. So the queen had just decided to stay back and focus all of her attention on working and keeping her career alive.

There was one conversation however that her and Adore had had during a smoke break at a small bar in Amsterdam a few weeks back, that had stuck in Bianca’s head. 

FLASHBACK:

They had just finished a very successful show for a huge audience in Holland. The whole cast was high on their massive success - among other things - and everyone had already spread out around the city to have a great night and probably not remember any of it in the morning. Adore and Bianca had stayed in the bar they had performed in, because the feel of the crowd had been so amazing and they just wanted to feed off of it for a little while longer.

The two queens were standing on a small unlit balcony that was just a metre off the ground. Adore was smoking her fourth or fifth joint of the night and Bianca was just leaning on the railing sipping on a drink she had gotten from a random guest backstage.

“Have you ever thought about the way we come off on stage?” Adore suddenly asked, breaking the peaceful silence that had settled between the two queens.

“How do you mean?” Bianca asked turning to the younger.

“Like, the vibe we give off on stage is so different from how we are in real life” Adore said and took another drag out of her joint.

“Well, I think people know, that when they come to a gig, they are going to meet Bianca Del Rio and Adore Delano, rather than Roy and Danny” Bianca said and smiled faintly, “I mean our drag personalities are different from our actual personalities, right?

“How shitty would it be for someone to come to a show and expected to see us as two random dudes on stage?” Adore said and giggled.

Bianca did not answer, she just laughed and poked her eyelash with her finger, trying to keep it from blocking her view any more than it already did.

“How do you think we look on stage?” Adore said after they had stayed quiet for another minute.

“Fierce and probably bitchy or at least that’s what I’m going for when I perform” Bianca said.

“You are fucking fierce” Adore said and looked Bianca straight in the eye, the younger was not joking.

“Aw thank you darling” Bianca said with her voice dripping sarcasm, “I think you could be too, but it’s too bad I overshadow you every time”

“Fuck all the way off” Adore laughed and kicked the other queen playfully, “No but for real, I don’t think people see how fucking sweet you are off stage”

“I think everyone got enough of that on Drag Race, don’t you think?” Bianca said and thought about the way she had come across on the show.

“I could never get enough of it” Adore said and smiled.

“Bitch you are high as a fucking kite” Bianca laughed.

“Maybe, but I never lie, you know that” Adore said and smiled.

“I do know”

The two sunk into a silence again. That was the beauty of their friendship, they didn’t need to keep a conversation going all the time, they were totally comfortable just being around each other in silence.

“Have you ever had ‘a friends with benefits’ kind of thing?” Adore asked and drew small quotation marks into the air.

Bianca just looked at the other queen with an eyebrow raised. She had never really thought about anything related to relationships since her big win, but she had been there for Adore when the younger went through her stormy breakup.

“Yes, but it was a long long time ago” She said slowly, “And you can keep hoping, but you know my contract with charity work, I do it only onc-”

“Yea I know” Adore laughed, “Once a year”

“And this isn’t your year” Bianca laughed and emptied her glass.

Adore just poked her tongue out from her mouth and dropped her burned out joint to the street below.

“Let’s get back in, I need a drink” The younger said and they walked back into the steamy mass of people.

FLASHBACK END

Nothing had happened between the two after the talk, but Bianca had thought about it. There had always been tension of some sort between the two and it had not gotten any lighter after the quick suck Adore had given her, after one particularly good after party. They had both just ignored it on stage and Bianca did everything in her power to keep Adore out of her bed, when they were not on stage.

Bianca finally dropped her dress on the floor and tore off the padding and the semi-tuck she had had on for the night. The queen pulled on the first set of non-drag clothes she could find. She got between the sheets, using one hand to wipe her makeup off with a makeup-wipe one hand to skip through the channels on the hotel tv. She knew that it was no use trying to sleep just yet, because it was for sure that once the rest of the queens started arriving back to the hotel, someone would be behind her door asking for condoms, money or a place to sleep.

Just as Bianca finished half of her face, she heard a knock on the door. She smiled a little because she knew exactly what was waiting behind the door. She pulled the covers off and walked to the door. For her own amusement she looked through the peephole on the door and saw just what she was waiting to see. A bed of long red hair tucked under a knitted beanie, a acid-washed denim jacket with colorful pins coloring the shoulders, a black top with the batman symbol on it and a high-waisted set of jean shorts with torn-up fishnet stockings covering the long thick thighs. She was carrying her Adidas sneakers in her hand and she was holding an empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s whisky on her other hand. Her makeup had stayed intact surprisingly well - even though her green lipstick had smeared onto her cheek - her eyes were still smokey and framed by full dark brows. 

“Baby, let me in” Adore’s voice called and Bianca smiled as she opened the door.

“Well well well, if it isn’t our little hoe returning home” Bianca laughed and took in Adore’s presence and the insane stench of liquor that lingered in the hallway. 

“Can I sleep in here tonight?” Adore asked and looked up into Bianca’s eyes, “Wow, you look like shit, what happened?” 

“Fuck no, you can’t sleep here tonight” Bianca said as she realized she had only removed the makeup from half of her face, which made her look like a fucked up before and after commercial. 

“Whyyy-y?” Adore whined and placed one hand on the older queen’s shoulder.

“Because I fucking say so” Bianca answered, “You have a perfectly good room of your own, right down the hall.”

“No no no” Adore slurred, “It’s occupied by Katya and that clown looking girl from her season, whatever her name is”

“Trixie?” Bianca asked and couldn’t help the smirk that covered her lips.

“Yes” Adore whined, “Now can I please sleep here?”

“On one condition” Bianca said after a moment of silence. Adore’s drunken face lit up.

“Anything” Adore breathed.

“You stay the fuck away from my dick, you hear me?” Bianca said and Adore looked confused for a second.

“Yeah sure, I’m keeping my hands to myself” She said and raised both of her hands up in the air. 

“Wonderful” Bianca said and moved to the side, letting the intoxicated redhead in, “I also need you to shower, you smell like the floor of our old tour bus” 

“It’s the scent of success, bitch!” Adore said and sat down to the floor and pulled her beanie off from her wig. 

“If that were true, I would smell so much worse than you” Bianca laughed and took a firm hold of Adore’s hand. She started pulling the younger queen towards the huge bathroom.

“I don’t want to stand” Adore whined and allowed herself to be dragged to the cold tile floor of the bathroom.

“You don’t need to stand, you are more than welcome to sit on the shower floor, idiot” Bianca laughed.

“Let’s do that mama!” Adore laughed and gave a weak tongue-pop.

“Stop acting like Laganja, I’m still having PTSD from all that!” Bianca laughed and turned on the bright lights of the bathroom.

Adore dropped the shoes she was holding in her hand and once Binca let her go, Adore took a firm hold of the zipper holding her jean shorts on. She pulled it open and dragged them down her legs, wiggling herself out of them.

“You know this would go so much faster if you would just stand up” Bianca sighed and folded the younger queen’s shorts and placed them onto the tile counter.

“Standing up is for pussies, I’m doing this my way” Adore declared and started pulling her fishnet stockings down.

Bianca had never been the one to stare at someone as they were getting out of drag, she usually had her own appearance to worry about, but now she really had nowhere else to look. Her eyes were glued to Adore’s thin, but surprisingly flexible figure as the younger pulled the stockings off of her legs and threw them out of her reach. She dropped her jean jacket to the floor and pulled her shirt over her head. She was left with a pair of worn-out and lazily duct taped underwear and her massive red wig. 

“You just never tuck properly, do you?” Bianca asked and laughed as she watched the younger tear the tape off.

“I never really wear anything that asks for a full tuck” Adore said and cursed as the first strip of duct tape fell off.

“That’s a choice” Bianca laughed and turned around to turn the shower on, when she heard a breathy moan erupting from the younger queen. 

Bianca froze in place, her one hand still resting on the shower handle and one on her hip. She felt shivers travelling up her spine and a tingling dancing along her scalp. What the hell was that?! The older slowly turned around and gave a more than confused look to the younger. Adore was just intoxicatedly grinning and waving a chunk of tape around.

“Got it!” She laughed and with that dropped her underwear on the ground. 

“Get in there!” Bianca laughed and pushed the younger queen under the hot water stream.

Adore yelped and jumped back just a bit. She pulled off her lashes and grasped her massive red wig off of her almost black hair. Adore threw her belongings at the older.

“Take good care of those okay?” Adore slurred and stepped back under the fountain on steaming hot water.

“I will” 

“Wait, before you go” Adore said and the older spun around. 

“What do you need?” Bianca asked. 

“So many things” Adore said and winked at the other queen.

“You nasty bitch” Bianca laughed, “I fucking love you” 

Adore grinned.

“Not anything like that, maybe another night” Adore laughed.

“What is it then?” Bianca asked. 

“I was just watching Trixie and Katya at the after party” Adore began, “I just think that I’ll never have that love all the other queens seem to be having, they really love and respect the fuck out of each other”

Bianca sighed and took a seat on the tile floor, thinking.

“Because the industry we are in, relationships are hard to keep healthy without serious commitment, which I think is not your gig” Bianca said with a glint in her eye. 

“Fuck off” Adore laughed and splashed water at the older queen.

 “I just think that when the time comes, we will all settle down with someone” Bianca said and stood up.

 “Yea” Adore said thoughtfully and turned around, with her back to Bianca, “Crushes never really work out, we are living proof of that”

 Bianca froze.

 “What do you mean by that?”

 “Nothing” Adore said and looked at Bianca over her shoulder.

 Bianca just walked out of the bathroom, carrying the younger queen’s clothes on her other arm and the sticky pair of lashes with the flaming red wig in her other hand. She laid the clothes on the white wooden dresser that was positioned in the corner of the large hotel room. She yawned and took her place on the bed. The queen’s head was swimming with thoughts. What the hell was that? Bianca knew that the sexual tension between her and Adore was always thick, but it had clearly taken a toll on the younger. When Bianca had found out that Adore had infact been attracted to her during their season, she had been thrilled. But know the tension seemed thick enough to be sliced with a knife. Nothing seemed to make any kind of sense anymore.

She opened her phone and haphazardly scrolled through instagram, not really giving a shit about any of the posts she was seeing. Most of the pictures were from the after party she had been a part of and she couldn’t help but notice Adore and her in the background, sitting together in all of them. She locked her phone with a frustrated sigh and dug the remote out from between the bedsheets. She couldn’t focus on anything. She saw Adore’s naked body every time she blinked. She heard the moan ringing in her ears and Adore’s cold “nothing” comment kept pissing her off.

She managed to skip through two channels before she heard her sister’s voice from the bathroom. At first Bianca thought Adore was talking to her, so she made her way to the bathroom door and cracked it open, but soon enough she realised the younger queen was singing. Her voice was soft and when paired with the sound of pouring water and the echo of the bathroom, it sounded almost angelic. Adore’s voice was usually much smokier and almost had a jazz type vibe to it, but now it sounded so different. The song ended and silence settled into the bathroom. Suddenly Adore’s velvety voice danced through the bathroom:

“You are more than welcome to join me, darling”

————-

TO BE CONTINUED?

[artificialqueens]

"New Man"

A/N: Hi everyone – long time listener (reader), first time caller (writer). Was inspired to write something after listening to “New Man’ by Ed Sheeran (link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwzD8U4u76k) on repeat, and because at my core I am shameless Biadore trash. This is angsty, but ideally it leads to something fluffy. As “real world” of a universe as my twisted brain can make up, set in the present. All is from Danny’s POV, because I feel closer to his headspace. If you like, I will do a Part 2 that finishes the story and involves some attempt at fluff and/or smut (I guess?). Anyway ok thanks this may be awful.

Also, lyrics are in italics, but I’m sure you figured that out.

Two things were concerning Danny in this moment. Confusing, distracting, maybe even disturbing – to bundle it up, it was fucking with him.  

 The first – Roy was not a cheater. He was many many things – a talented tailor and designer, a cutting insult comedian, a damn good dog parent, a friend you could really count on…but he was not a cheater. So when Danny saw Roy – Roy, who had a boyfriend of 2 months – cozying up with a race chaser in the back corner of the bar, Danny was confused.

 And when this stranger dude went for it and kissed Roy, and after just a moment’s hesitation Roy jammed his tongue down the stranger’s throat with some real enthusiasm…that’s when the second thing happened.

 The second – so this second one is where it got weird. As a friend Danny was entitled to be confused, but the moment the two men’s lips touched he instantly felt like he was going to throw up. His lungs and his stomach dropped into his ass, at the same time as all his other muscles seemed to tense up. Danny’s heart was thumping and he almost fell of his seat as he sprinted (really, tripped) to the bathroom of the bar.

 Roy had a boyfriend, and it wasn’t Danny. Roy was kissing someone else, and it wasn’t Danny – but it wasn’t his boyfriend either. So why the fuck was he reacting like this?

—

After a few deep breaths – and mentally thanking the city of Seattle for teaching him all kinds of new hippie ways to clear his mind – Danny looked into the mirror. He desperately wanted to throw water on his face, but god dammit he had put good effort into a ‘boy beat’ tonight and he wasn’t going to let tap water and Roy – ugh, Roy – fuck up his cut crease. Continuing to take deep breaths – in for 4, out for 4 – he started to take stock of what was happening around him. People liked to make jokes about Danny’s intelligence, but really he was both very smart and incredibly perceptive. He ran the tape back…

 Roy was in Seattle for a long weekend, on a tour hiatus. This was the first time Danny had seen him in person since moving to up north, a move that Danny knew annoyed Roy. “Really, Queen? I moved my tired ass across the country, where I will no doubt be killed by this hell-hole drought or in a 5-hour traffic jam on Santa Monica, and as soon as I’m settled in you flit off in your Birkenstocks to be the next Kurt Cobain? You know granola makes you fat, right? You and you’re fucking Starbucks…” But a few months later and Roy couldn’t wait to make the trip…

 Roy was alone. He had been so very vocal about his new relationship, particularly with Danny and Shane, and wasted no opportunity to talk about his new man at every chance. This guy was (allegedly) fabulous, beautiful, rich…Danny honest-to-God couldn’t remember his name, but he knew he was an Equinox trainer with a lot of family money that Roy met hiking in Runyon. Which reminded him of that other thing…

 Roy was different. Bad different. Shallower, cuntier, careless. At first Danny chalked it up to his new ultra-mellow Seattle attitude, but seeing Roy do something so very un-Roy convinced him that this wasn’t just his perception. Danny had noticed little things changing since this new guy – Roy developed an obsession with jicama/turmeric/unpronounceable health foods, but drank much more; spent mad money on flashy things almost daily; indulged in social media trash and flame wars; and followed his stinging insults with less and less kindness…but Danny figured Roy was just tired or something, though it was creating real distance between them. Now, publicly cheating on his boyfriend with a stranger in a crowded bar, Danny saw clearly that something was very and truly “up” with B.

 And of course, the last thing – Roy was silent. Not actually silent – bitch never shut up – but he was silent on the subject of him and Danny. A relationship never consummated, two best friends who were clearly attracted but respected each other and the difficulties of their lives too much to but their friendship at risk. They had a system of denial, and it worked…at least it did until 2 weeks ago. The night Roy announced his plans to visit Seattle – to Danny and Jinx, in a group text – he later drunk texted Danny. Ok, drunk sexted. And it happened again, every night until this one, when he arrived in Seattle. Roy’s 3am texts were rapid fire, riddled with boozy typos and anything but poetic advances, but fuck if they didn’t make Danny’s heart race and pants tighten. Danny never responded, refusing to make this a “real” issue to deal with, and Roy seemed equally avoidant. Danny assumed it was just drunken ramblings (for a New Orleans native, Roy was a light-weight) and didn’t want to embarrass his friend (or, let’s be real, himself) by bringing it up.

 But now Roy was here, in person, and Danny was worried. The world famous Bianca Del Rio was going off the rails, and apparently only Adore Delano was going to steer him back. He always wanted to be Superman…and maybe if he could just get Roy out of here and acting normal, Danny wouldn’t have to address the emotion he could finally identify: jealousy.

—

Danny was not in the best head space to confront Roy, this he knew. In addition to the green monster still banging at his chest, he was 4 shots into a night that started off with a bowl shared between him, Jinx and – surprisingly – Roy. He knew his perception was sharp as ever, but his decision making…well Captain, those systems were compromised. 

So when he finally walked out of the bathroom and saw that race chaser –Chase, because no one is working hard to name that guy – with one hand in Roy’s hair and another on his “upper thigh,” Danny decided to do something dramatic. Instead of going back to the table with Jinx and his other friends, he made a beeline for the bar. 

“Todd! Todd! Can I sing tonight?“ 

A big bear of a man made his way past bartenders and bar backs to speak to Danny, who was now flittering his eyelashes in faux seduction.

“Delano, this isn’t drag night. We don’t have the –“

“No, no – I don’t mean do the Adore act. I mean, I’m feeling moved by the spirits to sing a song and I want to sing here for the first time as Danny and I know you have a guitar and an amp and my friends are here from LA and I really need to get this of my chest and performing as Danny and not Adore is really important to me and if you were really mine and Johnny’s friend…” He was officially rambling at this point, leaning into the personality everyone imposed on him to get what he wanted. He smiled doe-eyed as he talked Todd into submission. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake, if you sing will you stop talking to me?  

“Absolutely.” Cue the Disney smile.

Todd sighed and waved over 2 of his staff, asking them to set up the guitar, mic and lighting Danny would need to perform.

“Thank you Todd. One of these days you’re going to have to let me…”

“Delano, appreciate the sentiment but this ride is for biological women only. Just get up there and don’t fuck it up.”

“Ok, RuPaul.” Danny grabbed a shot of couple Fireball shots off the bar, ripping them as he thought about the song. This fucking song…

Danny was about to sing a real Top 40, iHeartRadio and Casey Kasem wet dream of a song – “New Man,” by Ed Sheeran. This was all Spotify Discovery’s fault; the track had somehow ended up in his curated weekly recommendations, and before he could realize that he was listening to Taylor Swift’s man BFF he was in love with the words and the melody. And fuck if it didn’t apply to his life in this moment – maybe the universe was sending him a sign here. A catchy song, from the perspective of a man who sees his on-and-off lover cheating on their new man and tries to help sort out their life – Geez, sound familiar? That, plus a song with a simple enough guitar melody that Danny could already play from memory…the stars aligned, and as a Libra Danny was never one to ignore the signs from the stars.

—

Todd quieted the crowd down, announcing that there would be a performance from none other than new hometown boy Danny Noriega. The bar patrons cheered – Danny had made short work of turning this place into his Cheers, and everyone sure knew his name – with the exception of 3: Jinx, who clapped cautiously while mouthing “What are you doing bitch?” at Danny, and the Roy-Chase pretzel. Roy stopped moving (kissing), broke away and stared at Danny for a full 30 seconds before hopping onto his feet to wolf-whistle and cheer with the rest. “Chase” started asking for Adore and pulling out his cellphone to record.

Danny hopped up on the stage, strapped on the guitar, and dropped his head to speak into the mic. God, it felt good to perform as Danny sometimes.

“Hey you weirdos, settle down. Todd, thanks for indulging my last minute request to perform a little diddy for these drunk and stoned hippies.” The good-natured crowd laughed, until Roy – in full Bianca mode – interrupted:

“Christ Delano, leave the insult comedy to the pros,” Roy yelled up at the stage.

Danny knew that Roy wanted to get a rise out of him, this was their usual tour banter. Bianca picks at Adore’s imperfections and they trade insults for a while, but Adore is just so damn charismatic that Bianca ends up (eventually) being sweet. But that wasn’t the point of tonight – this wasn’t Snatch Game for a crowd of RPDR fans, this was drama to shock Roy into behaving himself. Danny wasn’t sure why he thought that was such a good idea – the mix of vodka and Fireball probably had something to do with it – but he wasn’t going to get sidetracked.

“I made Todd haul out the equipment so I could play, but mainly I just want to get this one song out. It’s a cover – nothing new or my own – but it’s been stuck with me over the last few weeks and I feel like some people here tonight really need to hear it. So here we go – “New Man,” by some redhead that isn’t Adele or Ginger Minj.” With that, Danny began to sing and play:

I heard he spent five hundred pounds on jeans Goes to the gym at least six times a week Wears boat shoes with no socks on his feet And I heard he’s on a new diet and watches what he eats

Too early in the song for anyone to know what is about – anyone except Jinx, who Danny could see glaring at him near the front row. He probably should’ve run this plan by his sensible if-always-sleepy friend, but again…this was not a night or an act to be rationalized.

But still, I’m just keeping it real, still looking at your Instagram and I’ll be creeping a little I’ll be trying not to double tap, from way back, cause I know that’s where the trouble’s at Let me remind you of the days when you used to hold my hand And when we sipped champagne out of cider cans I guess if you were Lois Lane, I wasn’t superman, just a young boy trying to be loved

Danny started to freak out a little bit. Fuck – the chorus was coming, and it was going to get really obvious to anyone paying attention at all that this song was directed at Roy. But he wasn’t ever one to do things subtly so…

I don’t wanna know about your new man, cause if it was meant to be You wouldn’t be calling me up trying to fuck Cause I’m positive that he don’t wanna know about me

I don’t wanna know about your new man, we’ll get there eventually I know you’re missing all this kind of love But I’m positive that he don’t wanna know about me

Well, it was out there and nothing was happening. The crowd seemed to dig the song, but he hadn’t seen Roy’s adorably dimpled face go wide or slack jawed or change in any way that showed he understood what was happening here. No choice but to continue. 

You were the type of girl that sat beside the water reading Eating a packet of crisps but you will never find you cheating Now you’re eating kale, hitting the gym, keeping up with Kylie & Kim In the back of the club kissing a boy that ain’t him

How did that 90’s song go – whatever, whoop there it was. Drunk Roy’s eyebrows raised, and his head snapped to look at “Chase” bopping along next to him and recording the song for Snapchat. A look that read simply as Oh fuck washed over his face, and Danny knew it was time to bring it home.  

Ok you need to be alone, and if you wanna talk about it you can call my phone I just thought that I would tell you cause you oughta know You’re still an old man trying to be loved

That changed lyric and his piercing stare at Roy really drove the point home, if Jinx’s undeniably audible “Holy shit” was any indication. Roy continued to watch, looking some mix of embarrassed, guilty, and nervous as he avoided direct eye contact with anyone – especially Danny. Danny was ready to close the song with a bang.

Baby, I’m not trying to ruin your week But you act so differently When you’re with him I know you’re lonely Please, remember you’re still free, to make the choice and leave And don’t call me up you need to show me

With one more round of the chorus, the song was done. The crowd cheered, again with the notable exceptions of Jinx, Johnny and Roy. Jinx and Johnny clapped politely, their eyes darting back and forth between Roy seated and Danny on stage looking for some explanation. Roy stayed in his seat, his expression unreadable except for the clear annoyance that “Chase” was up and clapping. Danny felt this could be a good sign of mission accomplished. 

Never one to renege on his show promises, Danny went ahead and did a 30-minute set for the bar. He mixed covers and originals, racked up some good tips, and got to feel alive in the way that only performing makes him feel. Combining that with the high of potentially shocking Roy back into his old self, and Danny had a great day. It was made better when he realized Roy had abandoned the race chaser and gone to sit back with his and Danny’s crew; though his friend was being uncharacteristically quiet around the crew, at least he wasn’t actively cheating anymore.

As he played through the set, Danny could feel the confusion subsiding. Roy wasn’t a cheater, he was drunk and made a mistake. All he did was kiss that kid, not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Everything was ok again.

Except it wasn’t. Danny still felt that nasty green monster living in his chest, beating on his ribs and his heart every time he thought of Roy while he sang. This was a feeling Danny made it a point to repress and avoid, but for some reason when he thought of Roy kissing another man he felt possessive and mean and scared and still somehow love… must be the vodka and Fireball. Danny reminded himself not to mix booze again, especially on a night he sings.

— 

After a raucous round of applause and a demand for an encore – which Danny obliged – he jumped of stage and headed out for a smoke. Danny reached into his pocket and grabbed his lighter and cigarettes, but the moment his hand entered his pockets he was pressed up against the brick wall of the building…by none other than his best friend Roy. 

“What the fuck was that, Danny?” Roy was clearly angry, but there was something else in his voice that made it sound husky and almost luxurious. After a painful moments of silence, Danny finally decided to respond.

“Music is a powerful way to– “ Danny’s speech was abruptly cut off as Roy’s lips crashed onto his own. All Danny could do was smile.

— 

[End of Part 1]