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helliontherapscallion · 4 years ago

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Shenanigans and Love (Adrenaline Junkie Part 13)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: the Warden, mentions of death, phantom pain syndrome, extreme fluff

Word count: 3,226

The light glow of the redstone lamp illuminated your work space. Currently, it was about two hours before everybody was due to wake up and you were hovering over your journal containing your notes on the Warden. Not much was known about the cave-dwelling creature, but you found a couple of books about it at the library. So far, you found out that it indeed didn’t have eyes; it navigated via a mixture of hearing and a vibration network found in the blocks that had the glowing tentacles on them (you now knew that they were called ‘sculk blocks’). The sculk blocks would pick up on movement or touch, it would send vibration waves through the air, where it would reach the Warden’s own sculk stalks. Without the sculk stalks on the Warden’s head, the Warden was defenseless.

You also read about the anatomy of the creature. Known juvenile specimens ranged from seven to eleven feet tall while adults spanned from twelve to a whopping twenty feet tall. While their average lifespan is unknown due to the parasitic nature of the beast, it is known that they are out of their juvenile stage once they are approximately twenty years old. Thinking back on the one in the cave, it was about twice as tall as you were. That was a juvenile mob and it’s probably grown rapidly since then. The thing that killed you so viciously was a juvenile. You shuddered thinking about what an adult could do.

Juveniles are charted to be more erratic in their decisions while adults were known to be calculating and alert. Known weaknesses were known to be the sculk stalks and the heart. It was going to be incredibly difficult to take it down by yourself, but if worse comes to worse, you’d gladly take the beast down with you. Just in case, you left behind a small will with things you were planning on giving to your family. You were going to leave your workshop and your blueprints to Arthur, your collection of diamonds to Tommy and Wilbur, your stock of netherite and gold to Technoblade, and your wealth and life savings to Philza. You requested that Philza take care of Arthur, you couldn’t ask for a better father figure to have than Philza. Only the best for Arthur. In addition, you had a letter prepared for every member of your family. They were still in their first drafts, but they were coming along fast. In them, you detailed how grateful you were for every single one of them and reminisced on your favorite memory you shared with them. You still had about a week and a half left before you planned on attacking the cave, but you always liked to have extra time to complete things.

Your alarm clock sounded with harsh, lazer like beeps before you quickly silenced it. You didn’t need Arthur or Philza waking up so early. Sighing, you hid your journal and letters under a false bottom drawer and gently closed it. You trudged up the stairs quietly and made your way to the bathroom to shower for the day. When you took off your prosthetic, you could feel the phantom pains shoot up your nonexistent wing. In addition to that, the feathered stump and the areas around it felt stiff. The warmth of the shower did nothing to alleviate the pain.

After your shower, you started to make breakfast. Soon after, the other members of the household filed into the kitchen with differing energies. Arthur, the hyper, knowledge craving kid he was, walked into the kitchen with a bounce in his step and his head held high while Philza followed him with disheveled hair and tired blue eyes. With breakfast situated at the table, everyone started eating. You continuously shifting uncomfortably in your seat didn’t go unnoticed by the two as they eyed you after they woke up a little more.

Finally having enough of your constant movement, Philza finally spoke up, “(y/n)?” You hummed, turning to look at him, “yeah?”

“Is everything okay?”

You suddenly become hyper aware of your movements as you force your body to sit still. “Everything’s fine, why you ask?”

“You look a little uncomfortable. Are you sure everything’s alright?”

You sighed, “I’ll tell you later. Arthur did you have anything specific you wanted to learn today?”

His eyes shone with the brightness of all of the stars in the universe as he made quick work to swallow his mouthful of toast, jumping in his seat slightly as he chewed. “Yes! I was wondering if you could teach me how to work with comparators!”

“That takes a lot of time and patience to learn, we probably won’t get it all done by the end of the day today. Is that alright?” He enthusiastically nodded, shoving the last bit of toast in his mouth and running off with a mouthful of unchewed bread.

You could feel a slight worry stab your gut, “Arthur, swallow your food before you run! You could choke!”

You watched as he stopped at the bottom of the stairs, vigorously chewed, swallowed, and resumed his sprint upstairs. You dragged a tired hand through your hair and sipped at your coffee.

“Ender, now I know how you felt with us when we were kids. Kid’s gonna be the death of me.”

Your dad chuckled, sipping at his own coffee. “He’s a lot more tame than you four were. Techno and Wilbur weren’t that bad, you were just a tad bit more chaotic, and well, you remember how Tommy was. You’re just way too worried about him. Kids will be kids, they do crazy things and sometimes you can’t stop them. After the couple months of adopting Tommy, I just let him learn from his mistakes. You gotta let them learn from their mistakes or else they’re never gonna learn. It’s just something all parents have to do if they want their kid to grow as a person.”

“That’s tr- wait, parent? Arthur’s my protégé, not my kid.”

He smirked over his mug and raised an eyebrow at you, “really? Cuz you seem awfully worried about him.”

“Dad. I’m just worried that he’s gonna accidentally kill himself. What, can I not be worried about my protégé?”

“No need to get defensive, just trying to point out the obvious-”

“The obvious? Dad, I'm only twenty. I’m not adopting anyone anytime soon.”

“I adopted Techno when I was twenty three,” he pointed out with raised eyebrows, “besides, I think you’d be a great parent. You’re already a parental figure for Arthur anyways, so nothing would change too much.”

You were silent for a moment as you stared at him blankly. You never viewed yourself as a parental figure type before. Your current lifestyle of never leaving your workshop would never be able to accommodate having someone that depended on you. You could hardly take care of a goldfish (you still had Bubbles’ grave in the backyard at your house in L’manberg), let alone an entire human child. Sure, you babysat Fundy when Niki was too busy to, but that was your nephew and it was only for a day at a time. You planned on taking Arthur with you back to L’manberg (only if he wanted to of course), but you didn’t think that far ahead. He was probably going to have to stay at your house. You weren’t cut out to be a parent, you wouldn’t be good enough for Arthur.

Philza, noticing your slightly panicked zoned out state, quickly reassured you, “you don’t have to make a definitive decision right now, you have time. Just- just consider it. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to come to me. I think I’ve raised enough kids to know what I’m doing,” he chuckled to himself.

Your feathered wing dropped in relief as you gave him your best smile over your coffee mug. “Thanks Dad, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you, you’re a lifesaver.” Right after that, a particularly large burst of pain shot along the length of your nonexistent right wing and loitered in the area around the base of your wing. You bit your tongue at the sudden pain as you felt the muscles twitch.

“It’s no problem, I’ll always be here to help ya.” He smiled at you before his eyes snapped to something behind you. His smile dropped as he eyed you concerningly, pointing behind you. “Is- is it supposed to do that?”

You followed his eyes behind you to your prosthetic wing. The metal was twitching in sporadic bursts with varying intensity. You could hear the slight scratching of the metal clashing lightly against the wooden chair. Though it was very inconvenient, you supposed you should be glad that it was moving with the muscle impulses of the muscles you used in flight. Suddenly, you could feel a muscle directly on the base of your wing twitch as the metal moved in tandem with the impulse. The entire wing extended to it’s full length and knocked over the chair next to you. It stood erect for a bit before another twitch caused another spasm that worked its way throughout the length of your metal wing. This time, the wing reared back to your body and almost smacked you in the face. If you didn’t move, your eye would’ve probably been plucked out by one of the metal feathers.

Your flesh wing puffed up slightly in embarrassment as you turned to look back at the blond man in front of you, “technically? I mean, it’s just the sensors picking up on the twitching. I-I’ll get the chair.”

As you stood up, you grunted in pain as another spasm hit you. This time, your wing extended fully perpendicularly to your back causing the muscles in the base of your nubby wing to be pulled unexpectedly. Hissing, your hand shot to rub at the base of your wing. “Fuck that was a bad one.”

You heard the screech of wood on wood as Philza stood up and hurried over to you, dodging a couple of swings from your wing. His hands were hovering indecisively in front of him. “Tell me what I need to do.”

“Take it off. Just- hhh, just take the sensors off. There should be seven of them, all on my back and shoulders.” You bent over with your hands gripping the table with each spasm of your muscles. You could feel the fabric of your shirt being pulled slightly from your body and the warmth of your dad’s hand brushing against your twitching skin as he hurriedly ripped the sensors off your skin.

Once they were all off, the metal wing drooped limply downwards, occasionally being moved slightly when what’s left of the flesh stiffened. “Good, can you unfasten the belts? There’s three of them, they’re a little- ah, a little tricky. After that, carefully pull the metal out through the slit in my shirt. Make sur- sure the sensors don’t rip.”

You sighed when you felt the wing being taken off from you and pulled through the slit in your shirt. Slumping back down into your chair, you reached a hand around to nead the skin on your back. You could feel the twitching slowly decrease in intensity, leaving a sore feeling in its wake. Your wing was placed gently onto the table in front of you, some parts hanging off the side. “Goddamn, I haven’t had an episode that bad since I grinded out making weapons for the War.”

You could hear water running before a glass was placed in front of you and Philza picked up the chair you knocked over and pulled it up next to you. He started to rub circles around the muscles around your wing. You sighed in content, feeling the knots in your back being relieved, “thanks. That feels good.”

“(y/n)?” A small voice said from the doorway of the kitchen. You shot up and bit back a groan when your sore muscles were moved. The young boy was leaning into the doorway with his hands on the sides and his mop of brilliant copper hair hung downwards. He looked worried and slightly scared.

“Hey Arthur, we can start your lesson soon, I just need a sec.”

“Are you okay?” His wavering tone and small voice combined with the tears slowly filling his eyes broke your heart. Eyes softening, you stood up and walked over to him, pulling him into a soft hug. “Of course I’m okay, you don’t need to worry buddy,” you deepened your voice and spoke dramatically, ‘(Y/n) Minecraft the Great, Conqueror of the Unknown’ will never be taken down!”

He gave a watery chuckle against your shirt and burrowed his head deeper into your shoulder, gripping you tighter. You reached up to stroke his hair and wrapped your left wing around him loosely, shielding him from the world with a protective feathery barrier. You could hear Philza picking up dishes from the table and quietly start to do the dishes. Despite the occasional twitch in your back and the phantom pain shooting down your wing, you directed all of your attention to Arthur. Eventually, he pulled away and wiped at his blotchy face. “Are you still up for the lesson?”

Just as Arthur opened his mouth, Philza interrupted him from behind you, “you’re not doing anything until you feel better (y/n).”

“Dad, honestly it isn’t that-”

“Don’t say it honestly isn’t that bad, we both know that’s not true. You’re on bedrest for today.”

You grumbled to yourself as you stood up and handed your glass of water to Arthur, who sipped at the contents giving you a small “thank you.” Nodding, you were escorted out of the kitchen by Philza and ushered to the couch. Once you were laying down on your stomach, he handed you a book and placed a hot water bottle on your back. Before you could stop it, a pleased hum left your lips as your body relaxed on the couch. “You’re staying here. I better not find you anywhere else when Arthur and I come home.”

You lifted your head up and stared at him with an eyebrow raised, “where’re you taking him?”

The corners of his mouth twitched and his eyes lit up slightly before he put on his stern facade once more. “Just to the village. I need to pick up a few things.”

“And you need him why…?”

“Well, I can’t go without someone helping me! I’m an old man after all.” He started to nudge Arthur towards the door and slipped his shoes on.

“You’re only thirty six, but whatever. Arthur, be good for my dad.”

“Alright (y/n), feel better soon!” He gave you a bright smile before he was pulled out of the house by Philza.

You tried to read, but the nagging worry for Arthur in the back of your mind never allowed for you to be immersed in your book. You knew Philza would never let anything happen to him, but you couldn’t help but worry whenever Arthur wasn’t in your line of sight. You supposed that it was a part of being an avian hybrid; you needed to constantly know if the child was alright. You tried to force yourself to go to sleep, but the pain prevented you from doing so, so you ended up mindlessly watching the seconds tick by on the clock. Before you knew it, your eyes closed and you were put in a light slumber.

You were awoken by the front door opening and laughter filling the house. You cracked open your crusty eyes and groaned as you sat up. You looked at the two with bleary eyes. Arthur was laughing at something Philza said as the blond looked over at you. “Hey hun, you feelin better?”

“Yeah a bit. What’d you get at the village?”

“Just some things for dinner. Arthur, wanna help me cook?”

Arthur, being the walking ball of sunshine that he was, nodded vigorously and started to drag the older man to the kitchen. Furrowing your brow, you called out to them, “do you want me to help?”

“No, stay there. Don’t come in!” Arthur’s excited voice shouted back to you, making you raise a brow at his words. You couldn’t lie, you felt nervous at his words. Just what did he have in store for you? Occasionally, you could hear yelps and bangs, which made you want to go into the kitchen even more. But you held off, trusting Philza.

About an hour and a half passed before you were summoned to the kitchen by an overly excited Arthur. Once in the kitchen, you were in slight awe. Spread out on the table was your favorite meal with the addition of fresh cookies left to cool on the stovetop. “All this for me?”

They smiled at you as Arthur ushered you to your spot at the table. “I… don’t know what to say. I- thank you guys.”

“Don’t thank me, it was all Arthur’s idea. I just helped.” Philza looked over at the blushing boy with a smile.

You reached over to ruffle his hair, “well, thank you Arthur. You know me too well, these are all my favorites!”

The boy bashfully smiled at you, “there’s something else too, but that’s for after dinner.”

You put a hand against your heart, touched, “Two surprises in one day? Ender, you’re spoiling me!” Arthur laughed at you.

Dinner went by fast with light-hearted laughter bouncing throughout the kitchen. The dinner and cookies tasted amazing, your taste buds felt like they were in heaven. After dinner, Arthur drug you to your room with an excited Philza following you two. On your bed sat your wing, but it had colorful things attached to the surface. Furrowing your brow, you looked closer to find various magnets sticking to the iron surface.

They ranged from the nonbinary flag to small mobs to little puns (your favorite ones were ‘olive you’ and ‘bird puns fly right over my head’). You could feel your smile widening at every magnet you saw, your wing fluttering in happiness. One of the magnets made you stop completely though as you stared at it with wide eyes. It was simple, but oh did it make your heart sing in joy and your eyes fill with tears. On the magnet, in big, bold letters were the words ‘world’s best parent’.

“Arthur…” You looked at him through blurred vision. He looked nervous, looking anywhere but at you and shifting on the balls of his feet. You lunged forward and pulled him into a tight hug and wrapped your wing around him, making sure he was as close to you as possible.

Philza watched the exchange with a soft smile before he decided to let you two have some privacy. His heart was full of happiness as he walked downstairs to clean up the kitchen with a bounce in his step and his wings fluttering uncontrollably. He was ecstatic to officially welcome Arthur to his family. Sure, he had a small hand in leading Arthur over to the ‘world’s best parent’ magnet, but it was Arthur that picked out the magnet for you. He knew you were going to make a fantastic parent.

General taglist (comment if you want to be added):

@crybabyjabby @izzybobizzy13 @goldenstarofthunderclan @bunnyz-pxstel @averytiredfanfictionwriter @dcml04 @sparkling-gayyyy @bbigbbrainn @thaticecreambish @kiinokochii @satansphatass @bxkubitch @bxmentchildxx

Series taglist (comment if you want to be added):

@acecarddraws @ravennightingaleandavatempus @dirtydiavolo @yeiras-world @immadatmostthings @hee-hee-haw @jackalopedoodles @m1lkmandan @vanhakirja @im-a-depressed-gay @coolleviauchihadreamerlove @questioning-sanity @camisascam @bongwaterflavoredgatorade @kakamiissad @jayistrash4 @lifestylesleep @speedymaximoff @sun-shark-tooth @appetiteofapeoplepleaser @lestrangenymph @kinismanditory @dragons-lurk-here @rinzyx05 @the-wandering-pan-ace @angelic-scent @shinipii @dont-hug-me-im-a-fander @izzydimensional @used-avocado @laura--444 @wing-non @lovely-echoo @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @mysteryartisticwriter @momo-has-a-gun @misfortunatem00n @w-0-r-n-n @v-kouya @kusuinko @cheybaee @dulcedippers @jaciahbabes

#sbi x reader #sleepy bois x reader #sleepy bois inc x reader #philza x reader #mcyt x reader #platonic #reader is gender neutral #tw: the warden #tw: swearing #tw: phantom pain

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chemicalpink · 3 years ago

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JK's Birth time analysis

First and foremost, I’m just doing this to occupy my mind in something else while I go through some stuff, I will continue to use the general consensus of the community for my astrology readings, I’m just doing this for fun, remember that we as fans are in no way entitled to know JK’s exact birth time, these are just fun educated guesses on some alternative that has arisen.

Now, I must say, when I first started the astro part of my bts blog I immediately thought 1 pm for JK’s birth time, I don’t have any factual backup on this one, I’ve talked about it before, I am kind of a human tarot deck lmao things sometimes just come to me. So I started roaming around and I found that JK’s libra rising made sense to me, and it was a general consensus for his readings so I said sure let's go. You know that I endorse and adore having conversations with you guys, my craft isn’t perfect and no one else's is so it is great to hear every opinion to forge our own judgement. I do only present to you information that I can back up, which is why as much as I’d love to I won’t be taking into consideration my own personal hunch on the info I’m about to present you, although you can read it as subtext when it is in italics like this hello this is an inner thought of marinette’s.

SO the big deal: Is JK a libra rising or is JK a sagittarius rising? General consensus says 8:04 am as speculated time of birth, some others say 1-2 pm.

Either way, JK’s sect remains nocturnal so there’s not much to go from there.

When it comes to appearances, I’ll update what I said before.

Libra rising appearance:

Very youthful look that it seems like you don’t even age

Gentle smile

Charming demeanour that makes people obsessed with you

Very symmetrical features

Fit body

Contagious smile

Put together look/ clean look

Dimples

Dark hair and dark eyes

Tall

Oval/Round face

Think Harry Styles, Beyoncé, Niall, Britney Spears

Sagittarius rising appearance:

Bulky thighs

Horse like face

Big forehead

Incredibly tall or more than average tall

Gain weight easily

Not really athletic

Pretty full lips

Think Kim Kardashian, Elvis, Jennifer Lawrence, Paris Hilton

Evidently, other aspects in astrology and genetics can alter these, but it is mostly true.

Now, I am not that well versed in vedic astrology since I stopped studying it due to lack of time BUT the infamous thread that looks into the possibility of JK being a sag rising is pretty elaborate, although it does run more on intuitive processes and symbolism, which are of course, valid, and it really is up to both the analyst and the ones reading the analysis to determine the weight of it. My craft is more oriented towards intersectionality so I don’t like to go by what we are able to see about him as an axis, more like confirmation about it. Idk if it makes sense. I just don't trust seemingly scripted content that much to run my analysis based on it. Everything mentioned about JK Jyestha makes sense when looking at the content presented, and it will make even more sense once we take a look at some other non western astrology systems. Again, I am not well versed in vedic astrology so right off the bat I would fight the conversion system rather than the information presented.

Regarding that thread, some of the keywords used to conclude JK’s Jyestha are as follows:

King, Winning, Ambitious, Passionate, Skillful, Eldest, 1st, Seniority, Expertise, Sensory indulgence, Celebration, Bravery, Heroic, Dragon Slayer, Warrior, Rain, Thunder, Umbrella, Protector, Provider, Scandalous, Impulsive, Bunny, Deer, Earring, Eye.

In western astrology, a general comparison on placements would look something like this.

Sun in 8° 33' Virgo

Moon in 27° 20' Leo

Mercury in 7° 49' Virgo (r)

Venus in 16° 58' Libra

Mars in 11° 7' Scorpio

Jupiter in 14° 15' Aquarius (r)

Saturn in 19° 35' Aries (r)

Uranus in 5° 28' Aquarius (r)

Neptune in 27° 33' Capricorn (r)

Pluto in 2° 55' Sagittarius

North Node in 20° 11' Virgo (r)

Chiron in 29° 45' Libra

Ascendant in 4° 20' Libra

MC in 4° 46' Cancer

1st House starts at 4° Libra

2nd House starts at 1° Scorpio

3rd House starts at 2° Sagittarius

4th House starts at 4° Capricorn

5th House starts at 7° Aquarius

6th House starts at 7° Pisces

7th House starts at 4° Aries

8th House starts at 1° Taurus

9th House starts at 2° Gemini

10th House starts at 4° Cancer

11th House starts at 7° Leo

12th House starts at 7° Virgo

In here, the main aspect I can relate JK to is Cancer MC, MC represents your public self, as well as the success level you might experience. Cancer MC is all about taking care of others, yet it can also point towards a career in arts, especifically singing and writing, it also indicates a strong possibility of psychic abilities which have been widely discussed in JK with his readings and such all while having the main troubles of being an impatient person and sometimes getting self conscious which we have heard him say before when he refers to himself knowing how to do stuff yet he doesn’t think he’s good at any of them, or his letters to himself about having to love himself more.

Another pretty JK thing I’ve noticed is his Virgo Stellium in the 12th House, which shows struggles with identity JK has, once again, being vocal about him growing up within BTS and how that has shaped him and how he has constantly been looking for himself. They often absorb the struggles of people around them. Does anyone else remember him saying he’s okay as long as his hyungs are okay? Also, singing and dancing are very powerful manifestation tools for these people huh maybe that’s why he writes and sings love songs. This aspect also indicates him having the potential to amass a large amount of wealth, some astrologers think about this stellium as an extremely karmic one, which can be translated into the whole JK’s soulmate narrative.

When it comes to his 5th house, it indicates him being a hell of a creative person, especially in a somewhat rebellious sense which I interpret as him getting a sleeve tattoo It also talks about not being traditional in relationships which I believe has come out a few times in his tarot readings.

With Sag rising, his chart would look something like this:

Sun in 8° 45' Virgo

Moon in 29° 46' Leo

Mercury in 7° 37' Virgo (r)

Venus in 17° 12' Libra

Mars in 11° 15' Scorpio

Jupiter in 14° 13' Aquarius (r)

Saturn in 19° 35' Aries (r)

Uranus in 5° 27' Aquarius (r)

Neptune in 27° 33' Capricorn (r)

Pluto in 2° 55' Sagittarius

North Node in 20° 10' Virgo (r)

Chiron in 29° 46' Libra

Ascendant in 5° 28' Sagittarius

MC in 18° 28' Virgo

1st House starts at 5° Sagittarius

2nd House starts at 7° Capricorn

3rd House starts at 12° Aquarius

4th House starts at 18° Pisces

5th House starts at 19° Aries

6th House starts at 14° Taurus

7th House starts at 5° Gemini

8th House starts at 7° Cancer

9th House starts at 12° Leo

10th House starts at 18° Virgo

11th House starts at 19° Libra

12th House starts at 14° Scorpio

In this case, his MC is in Virgo, it mainly indicates a tactful and slow success in someone’s career, these MC Virgo people are often regarded as overly responsible and as people that like to get recognised as people to whom nothing is hard enough for them to call it quits. While they openly seek perfection which ofc JK has always talked about improving himself they often love to do the stuff that others despise to do like countinc, calculating and organising.

Evidently there's no 12th House stellium, he would have a 9th House Leo stellium, which is most of the times noticeable at first glance, the moment these people open their mouths, everything is just extraordinaire, there’s a longing to be loved and to be admired in this aspect. They’re inspirational people to be around which JK is, if I remember the members saying that they get inspired when watching him make efforts. They’re also overly curious about stuff around them big doe eyes anyone?

In this case he would have a 5th House aries, meaning that there’s a need to be physically active and being creative on top of that which I mean does check out. They do tend to be openly superficial people and big-headed when they are in a successful position tho.

So okay, let’s talk native astrology, JK’s Tzolkin is Tz’i-Oc, noted by their need of freedom and less traditional relationships, they work tirelessly and have an innate ability to be successful and accumulate a lot of wealth once again, JK’s position in BTS shows up HE’s in a basic need of having a strong foundation, which he will not like to lead but more take the role of a caregiver that can easily turn into the one receiving care. Here’s the thing, there are a lot of Libra themes in his Day Sign and his Trecana Sign, both of them talking about justice, fairness, helpfulness, as well as him being a nomad which I interpret as having a libra/virgo mix that is really hard to miss Now, this is where it gets funny, His galactic tone is 4, which while it talks about balance and calmness and tranquility libra like it also is represented by a warrior, which is part of the twitter thread as one of the symbolisms to think about sag rising

Last but not least, JK’s bazi, since his contextual situation is leaning more towards it. I did a comparion and it caught my eye the next part:

One of the widely talked about symbols in the sag rising thread is the element of water being consistent with JK, and in his bazi, ¾ Na Yin, the element of water came out, however, they came out when his birth time is 08:04 am.

In his 08:04 bazi, some keywords are:

virtue

star

travel

In his 13:00 bazi, some keywords are:

monetary loss

star of arts

heavenly doctor

So really it all boils down to: we do readings for fun, craft is personal and completely valid in any form as long as we aren’t hurting anyone. We do not know his actual birth time and we actually might never know it, each astrologer is free to work with the birth time they consider the best fitting unless a specific time is given. I myself, see a libra rising fitting, perhaps if we were to trial and error it, some other might come out but honestly, these readings are a hobby and while I dedicate myself to my craft, I certainly don’t have the time that it would require to analyze each placement so I can see for myself which I find the best fitting out of 12 signs. But hey, this was a fun educational opportunity to dive into other practices.

#lmao im not tagging this

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limitlessgojo · 3 years ago

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Blood Bound: Red Strings of Fate (Ch 5)

Warnings: Action, Coarse Language, Fighting, Descriptions of Blood

Previous Chapter: Cherry Blossom Storm

Next Chapter: Speed of Sound

Tags: Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader

Taglist: @lessie-oxj, @rizzo-nero, @whoreuc, @fkngkumiko, @isl3t

Notes: If you want to be tagged for every update, please mention it in the comments below ty <3

Chapter 5: Special Grade

After you bid goodbye to the two girls, you went off back to your dorm room to get dinner, when you bumped into the girl who lived next to your room.

“Oh hi!” She greeted you with a big smile. “I’m Miwa Kasumi, you can call me Miwa. 1st year here! Please take care of me.”

“Hello! I’m Tsuchimikado Y/n, you can call me either Tsuchi or y/n I really don’t mind either way. Also my first year here, please take care of me!” you grinned.

“Ahhh, I’m so nervous to start class here. Are you ready for it?”

“To be honest I’m also nervous, but pretty excited! Ah, I have to go eat dinner now and call my family, but tomorrow I’m free to chat more. You can come over to my room if you’d like.” You offered.

She agreed and bid you goodnight.

◇◇◇

You were able to get to know Miwa before classes began, and it was really fun getting to know her. She talked about her brothers and her origins, but admitted that she couldn’t give out too many details on her technique.

“I’m sorry y/n but I was told to keep it a secret. Even among other jujutsu shi. And I’m just doing all I can to support my brothers.” She sadly spoke.

To which you didn’t mind too much, as you were the same. The Tsuchimikado does its best to keep their strongest techniques and passed down family legends under wraps, to prevent themselves from being targeted by curse users.

“It’s no worry at all, you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to share. And I won’t pry. I come from a minor Jujutsu clan and understand the need to keep cursed technique details a secret.” You smiled and offered her more biscuits.

If you don’t stand out, you would have less affairs to worry about. Unlike the great 3 Jujutsu clans. And because of this, you sort of grew up in a regular loving home, with the exception of normalcy brought by the need to kill curses.

◇◇◇

Classes soon started after and honestly they were not too bad. You all got your student ID cards on the very first day.

You were surprised to see that you were awarded a Special Grade title on the very first day… not what you expected. The rest were, as expected, Grade 4 jujutsu sorcerers.

Everyone starts on the same level and can have their ranks increased as they go. They can get recommended to Grade 2 and/or Grade 1 based on their performance.

Geniuses were said to start as a Grade 2 sorcerer in their first year. Grade 3 was average for a jujutsu high student. And a special grade is an anomaly.

You were pretty sure that you and your family kept your condition under wraps and yet… You looked up to Utahime and asked if you could have a chat outside. She eyed you knowingly and the others stared at you as you left the room.

“Uhhh… There seems to be a mistake with this. I don’t think I am fit to be a Special Grade yet Utahime sensei.” you explained to her truthfully.

“Tsuchimikado chan. You are from a minor Jujutsu clan, that's true. And while it is very rare for an esper to be born in your clan, there was a higher up who was in touch with your father. They received enough information about your technique, albeit not all of it of course, and cursed energy levels, deeming you to be a special grade.”

You just stared at her in shock at all this info. Sure you’ve been sparring with your cousins, and yeah nobody could come close to you when you had mastered your basic barriers and cursed technique. But you didn’t expect to get this far.

Then Utahime sighed, “Okay I’ll be honest. There was one other person who actually pushed for this and was surprisingly agreed to by the elders.”

You felt yourself tense up, “Who?”

“Gojo Satoru said you were capable of dealing a massive destruction over a large scaled area. And of course, the jujutsu higher ups are aware as to what happened to you when you were 6 years old.”

“Satoru nii!” You paled, blood draining out of your face, but before you could open your mouth Utahime consoled you. “It’s okay. It’s kept top secret… well as much as a secret can be amongst the Jujutsu school leaders and higher ups. Don’t worry, we understand your situation.”

You just nodded, still as white as a sheet. ‘They know, oh gosh of course they know!’ you thought with horror.

“Okay, now nobody should give you any trouble. Just relax, you’re not forced to give out any info to the other students if you don’t want to. It’s okay,” She pushed you back into the classroom where the other students were chatting.

“Haiiii, let’s start class now.” Utahime called out to which you all responded with a “Yes sensei.”

◇◇◇

Everything started to calm down and settle at school for you after that day.

Most of your time was spent in the classroom with regular subjects. But then you’d have the added physical training and cursed energy management with Utahime sensei, which you always looked forward to the most.

“Okay, time to form pairs now. Mai and Y/n. Miwa and Mechamaru, try to disarm and pin down your opponent if you can. Y/n go easy on the others.” Utahime sensei spoke, to which of course you agreed to.

Amongst the first years, both you and Mechamaru seemed to be the most capable, proficient even with long range techniques.

Mai and Miwa were weak in close combat quarters when they were disarmed. And it was too easy for you to disarm them with minimal cursed energy, as you spent a lot of time sparring with your older male cousins.

“Hup!” You closed in on Mai and kicked the gun from her grasp before flipping her body and pinning her to the ground. Mixed martial arts definitely comes in handy.

“Ouch, she said to go easy on me Y/n. You’re still pretty rough.” Mai spat out. “Get strong now or you won’t last on the battlefield. You have to focus on surviving.” You darkly said. Mai was shocked at that since you were always so bright and cheerful.

But everyone else noticed that whenever you were training, (whether it be by yourself in your free time or sparring with the others during class) you seemed like an entirely different person. Cold, calculating, detached, strong and fierce.

But of course, you always did your best to help them improve. “Mai, you’re moving your body wrong. Stabilise your footing, then aim. If I come close to you from the side, try to hit me based on your peripheral vision quicker.”

Truth be told, she improved. “Thank you y/n. You seem familiar with martial arts. Do you do any?” She asked you during break time.

Mechamaru and Miwa listened in, facing you curiously. The entire school is now aware of your Special Grade status, but everyone was still shy to outright ask you about the full details of how it was granted.

“I do. I’ve grown up sparring with my older male cousins all the time. Mixed martial arts, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and Krav Maga. Not sure if you guys know of Tsuchimikado Hiroki? Graduated from Kyoto Jujutsu high a few years back.”

“I’ve heard of his name in passing, but I don’t know of him. Your clan is kept pretty well under wraps after all.” Mai said. You smiled and nodded.

You were set to spar with Mechamaru after the break. This is where it got interesting. You activated your technique for the first time since training started as he shot laser beams at you.

He did everything he could, but even with his sword options, and strongest bursts of cursed energy, nothing hit you while you stood in the same spot.

You had activated your cursed technique, and made the space around you warp, making the attacks bounce off. Mechamaru had pretty solid power, but it wasn’t enough to rock you.

You held out one hand, “Enhanced gravity: Output level 5%” and Mechamaru’s body crumpled against the ground. You increased the air pressure above his body until he shouted, “Give!”.

You released your technique and thanked him for the fight. Mai and Miwa had stopped sparring to watch the both of you.

“Wow.” Miwa said with sparkling eyes. “No wonder… she’s special grade.” she whispered.

To be honest, at the end of the day labels and rankings meant NOTHING to you. You wanted all your allies to get as strong as they can be, so that they won’t suffer during missions.

Which is why you openly offered advice and help when they needed it. You’ve had enough of loss.

◇◇◇

When you had your free time you made your way to the library as was planned. You had a list of topics to burn through. Past lives, shared visions, alternate worlds, future visions… and the topic of soulmates. You had to get to the bottom of whatever happened between Noritoshi senpai and you.

The Tsuchimikado clan did have its history and legends as well. You had information on the other big 3 clans and their techniques. Along with that information came the basic legends of old. Soulmates, possibilities of inherited memories, parallel worlds, and some of the most evil of curses to exist. (Such as Ryomen Sukuna).

But you were sad to see that there was a lack of books on soulmates. Only some left on alternate and Parallel Worlds. 'Is the library lacking??? Didn't expect that.' You thought sadly.

You asked the librarian about it but, "I'm sorry my dear, we only have what's there on the shelves. There's a possibility the books have been borrowed. I can check the database for you."

"Yes please, thank you so much."

"Ah yes….. Kamo kun has taken some books on soulmates, parallel worlds, foresight and Abe no Seimei. Are those any of what you're looking for?" She asked.

You felt yourself pause. Okay so you were both thinking along the same lines. Not surprising.

"Yes, I can just wait for him to return it or ask him about it then. Thank you so much that was a great help!" You bid her your goodbyes and left the library.

Not to worry, you were going to see him real soon.

Author's notes: These first few chapters focus heavily on world building to set the pace for the story. You'll see a lot more of Nori in the following chapters <3

Blood Bound: Table of Contents

#kamo noritoshi #kamo noritoshi x you #jjk kamo #jujutsu kaisen fanfics #jjk imagines #noritoshi x reader #noritoshi fluff #noritoshi x y/n #miwa kasumi #mechamaru #zenin mai #jujutsu kaisen x reader #blood bound #red strings of fate

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duggardata · 3 years ago

Note

I think the way you calculate some of the procreation paces is sort of not as accurate as it could be. Since you adjust the spacing for a miscarriage or health issue, now all of the girls (Bates girls in particular) are estimated as if they will never have a miscarriage or health flare-up in the future, which unfortunately at least some of them probably will. What do you think?

While I get what you’re saying, the fact is that both methods—adjusting, or not—are imperfect. IMO, it makes more sense to adjust, for a few reasons—

Sample Size We’re working with small samples, here, so aberrant data points will potentially have a huge impact on averages.

Quiverfull Beliefs I'd be a lot more concerned about adjusting data, if we were dealing with a non–Quiverfull (QF) population. For the non–QF population, I’d expect health issues in pregnancy to result in intentional family planning or family size limitation. But, for QF Couples, there’s an assumption that, despite any challenge in pregnancy, they will continue to procreate if they’re able to do so. This assumption is fundamental to the Predictor, as a whole.

Focus on Immediate Prediction IMO, data adjustment is problematic mostly when it comes to the ‘big picture.’ For example, I think there is a strong possibility that, due to her struggles in pregnancy, Josie might be physically unable to have 17 Children. But, the Predictor is designed, at its core, as a tool for immediate forecasting. It’s focus is on predicting a couple’s next event, first and foremost. With that in mind, it makes a lot of sense to adjust aberrant data, if the circumstances that created it are known and not expected to immediately recur.

Also, I want to point out... If a circumstance is extremely likely to recur—e.g., Erin delivering ~3 Weeks Early—I don’t treat that data as an outlier. I factor it into that couple’s data, just like any other data point, even if it seems ‘strange’ in the context of other couples’ data.

Finally, I don’t adjust data willy–nilly or automatically. Before adjusting, I think through whether it makes sense to do so, and I’m wary of excessively shifting the raw data. And I try to be aware of and prevent new issues from appearing as a result of data shifts! For example, when I started factoring in miscarriage data, I noticed that post–loss spacings tend to be unusually short. Instead of just factoring these usual spacings in and unjustifiably skewing the data of all couples who’d experienced a loss, I decided to treat post–loss spacing as its own category. (Which I’m now able to use to forecast pregnancies after loss, an added bonus!)

I’d like to walk through a few scenarios where I’ve adjusted the data or not...

Let’s take consider the case of Premature Delivery. In the Bates Family, there are several women who routinely deliver early—notably, Erin Paine. For Erin, giving birth 3–4 Weeks Early is completely normal, so I don’t adjust any of her Child Spacings to reflect when her children ‘should’ have arrived. But, on the other hand, we’ve got a few cases when the child was premature when that is not normal for the mother—notably, Josie Duggar and Madeline Maxwell. For those cases, I don’t use the raw spacing between the prior child and the early arrival; that just doesn’t make sense. Instead, I use the preemie’s Due Date + Mom’s Delivery vs. Due Date data to figure out the Expected DOB, which is then used to calculate the Expected Child Spacing, which is used in place of the actual spacing for that child only.

Also... The case of health issues. I think Alyssa’s case is a major one, here... She suffered heart issues, which were eventually corrected with surgery. I’ve made the decision to count her subsequent child’s (Maci) Child Spacing from the date of Alyssa’s last surgery, rather than from the prior child’s DOB. Anon isn’t wrong that, by doing this, I’m more–or–less assuming that Alyssa’s heart issues won’t affect her fertility in the future; however, I think it’s justified in her case, since she has publicly stated that her issue is likely cured.

Soon, I’ll have to decide whether to treat Erin’s health issues just like Alyssa’s, or adjust her data in some other way. For now, I’m assuming that Erin + Chad won’t be affected by Erin’s ovarian issues, going forward. (That decision was largely based on how quickly Erin got pregnancy with Paine #5, after her last surgery... Certainly seems like her fertility may not be as limited as they were led to believe!) But, that is absolutely not set in stone! If Paine #6, #7, etc., have much longer Child Spacings than Erin had prior to her surgeries, then it would make sense to ignore her pre–surgery data in future predictions. And, that’s what I would do!

Hope this makes sense. When I adjust data, I really am trying to consider all the information we have and use it to the best of my ability. It’s not a perfect process, and there are a lot of unknowns we can’t account for, but that’s just part of predicting... We wouldn’t need to predict if we already knew exactly what to expect!

#predictor

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dailymeruem · 4 years ago

Text

How much does Meruem weigh?

Being a fan of a particular series or character means you want to know everything you can about them, even when certain information is not explicitly stated. Although we are privileged to follow Meruem from his conception to his death, there is still a lot of information we are not given about him. One such mystery is his weight!

Fellow Meruem lover and colleague Lurm (Wicked_witchart - Insta, TikTok) has done some casual sleuthing and maths, and has come up with a reasonable estimate as to how much Meruem would weigh!

I have received permission to share that info with you here, so if you would like to find out how much mass is contained in this tiny chunk of man, read on!

First of all, as noted at the outset, we are never given official specific physical stats in the manga by Togashi or in the anime. There is Meruem’s entries in the HxH guidebook(s), but the credibility of the guidebooks is often debated. Thus, these findings are by no means canon, but are a fun estimate that might add to your appreciation of the character, or could help members of the HxH fandom in fanfic, rp or art endeavors!

To begin, we will be establishing some base estimates regarding one thing we have a better idea about: Meruem’s height. This will be the base of our weight calculations, as you shall see.

Again, Meruem’s exact height is not stated in canon, but we do have 2 clues: the HxH Guidebooks, and comparing his height visually to characters we do know the exact height of. I won’t be getting into finding all that here, that’s another topic, but I will be using these two sources for my base height estimate:

This video that was put together by a fan based on speculation and the HxH guidebooks;

and this chart made by a fan on Reddit based on the same sources.

Based on these, we came to the conclusion that a relatively acceptable estimate for Meruem’s height would be 169cm (nice), or 5′5″. Short King!

Step 1: Base Assumptions

This brings us to the beginning of our calculations. Before we figure out his main body weight, we need to consider one very important extremity: his tail.

Starting from our base assumption of Meruem’s height, we are going to attempt to decipher the length, diameter, and then volume of Meruem’s tail. We can then figure out how much his tail would weigh, which we can add to his total body weight at the end!

Fig 1.1 is our base assumptions for our calculations. Using Meruem’s head as a measuring guide, we see he is approximately 6 heads tall.1/6th of 169cm = 28.2cm, so we will use that figure as a Head Height.

To figure out his tail width, we will take these things into consideration:

his tail is made up of 10 segments

each segment seems to be around the width of his hand (measuring the segment width vertically down the tail)

2 measurements of Meruem’s hand width = 1 Meruem head height

With this info, we can conclude that Meruem’s tail is about 5 Heads long, or 5/6ths of Meruem’s full height. Subtracting the Head Height from the Full Height will give us the tail length:

Full Height (169cm) - Head Height (28.2cm) = 140.8cm Tail Length

We will use this measurement next to find out how much the tail would weigh!

Step 2: Tail Volume

Fig 1.2 is going to help us visualize how we find the diameter of Meruem’s tail in order to plug it into our calculation.

Looking at official Meruem art for the anime (which is what we are using for this research as anime refs tend to be more consistent), his tail appears to have the same approximate diameter as Meruem’s face, from his chin up to the “brim” of his hat.

We have to rely on eyeballing for this, and this boy has a big noggin, so we are going to be generous and say that the diameter of his tail is 1/2 of his head height, to allow for the rest of his head, the height of which is depicted often inconsistently, even in the anime.

1/2 of Head Height (28.2cm)= 14.1cm Tail Diameter

We now have the Tail Length and Diameter. Now the math begins.

The tail is a cylinder, so we will be using the formula for the volume of a cylinder- V = πr2h

Radius = 14.1 (Diameter of Tail) divided by 2 = 7.05 Tail Radius

V= πr2h = π·7.052·140.8 ≈ 21985.21725

V ≈ 21985.22 cm3

So, what do we do with this number?

~~~

Step 3: Tail Weight

When thinking about weight, you need to think of *what* is making up that weight. In humans, aside from fat, a major factor in weight is skeletal muscle.

As you may know, muscle is quite dense, and for a being of Meruem’s power, I’m sure he has a lot of it. Judging by the speed, power and precision that Meruem can swing his tail around, it’s safe to say that thing is probably entirely muscle mass. We are going to figure out the weight of Meruem's tail using it's volume measurement and the weight measurement of skeletal muscle per cm3!

> OBJECTION!!!! <

But Beamie!, you may exclaim, Meruem is an ant! He doesn’t have a skeleton! But remember, Meruem was made up of entirely human genetic material. He’s not all human, but he is also not all bug. I am going to quote Lurm directly here as they explain their reasoning:

I would argue that he does have an inner skeleton

His hands don't seem to have any junctions, and his face has too much free movement and is too smooth to be made of such hard material

But at the same time it's not floppy meaning he has something on the inside keeping it together

For me it makes no sense for him to have lighter bones (like birds) cause he needs the structure to keep his body erect and suspend his helmet, also higher risk of fractures which we have seen he's very resistant against

Also also he has a freaking big ass, muscular TAIL which probably adds quite a few kilos to his total

For the reasons above, we are going to go with the assumption that Meruem does indeed have some sort of inner skeleton, as a supplement to his exoskeletal parts.

Back to the calculation. Skeletal muscle weighs 1.04 gram per cubic centimeter. So to find out how much the tail weighs, we are going to multiply this weight by the volume we figured out in the last step.

1.04g/cm3 x 21985.22 cm3 = 22864.63g

Tail Weight = 22.9 (50.4lbs)

That’s one heavy tail!

~~~

Step 4: Body Weight

Almost there! This is the section where we are going to do the most estimating. Meruem is not a tube we can easily find the volume of like his tail, so the closest thing we can do is compare his body to a human male of the same stature.

Looking up average body weights of a healthy human male of 169cm, the ideal range is between 57.1kg (125.8) and 71.4kg (157.4lbs) . Because Meruem’s is most likely entirely muscle, we are going to go with the highest number here to cover our bases. This is a dense chunk of ant man.

With the body weight of 71.4kg, the final piece of our puzzle is the exoskeleton. We have no way of knowing a)precisely how much exoskeleton we are talking, and b) how much it would weigh, as we don’t know how thick it is. There is no real way to measure the weight of a real bug’s exoskeleton either, aside from weighing molted skins or something. The best we can do is to compare the material of an exoskeleton (chitin) to something similar. Keratin might be the closest we can get.

Lurm came up with the ballpark number of 5kg (11lbs) for the exoskeleton weight through their science ways and I don’t know about all of you, but that sounds reasonable to me.

Total Body Weight= 71.4kg (157.4lbs) + 5kg (11lbs) = 76.4kg (168.4lbs)

~~~

Final Results

Meruem’s total weight:

Body Weight 76.4kg (168.4lbs) + Tail Weight = 22.9 (50.4lbs)

99.3 kg (219 lbs)

Solid, but still within lifting range. If you worked out, you could carry him bridal-style. Can’t knock this boy over with a pail of water. He can sit on your lap but your legs might fall asleep/need amputating. Nice!

I hope you enjoyed this scientific journey!! Over-analyzing anime characters is what we do best here at DailyMeruem. Peace!

#hxh #hunter x hunter #meruem #meta post #meta #science time here on the blog again! please enjoy

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gendercensus · 4 years ago

Text

Gender Census 2020: The Identity Question

This report is the second in a series, analysing the >24,000 responses from the 2020 Gender Census question-by-question.

[ Report #1: On “enby” and age // Report #3: The Title Question // Report #4: The Pronoun Question ]

This year’s Gender Census, aimed at everyone whose gender(s) or lack thereof are not adequately described by the gender binary of “always, solely and completely male OR always, solely and completely female”, was open from 12th February until 7th April 2020. There were 24,576 usable responses. (Unfortunately the spreadsheet of responses won’t be available until I’ve written up the report for every question, sorry about that!)

This report will summarise the responses for the first question, regarding identity.

As in previous years, I asked:

Which of the following best describe(s) in English how you think of yourself?

There were 30 checkbox options presented in a random order, largely based on which answers were chosen by over 1% of participants last year. (More on how I’m updating the selection process later.)

Here’s a graph of the results:

And here’s the top 5:

nonbinary - 66.4% (down 0.2%)

queer (partially or completely in relation to gender) - 42.9% (down 0.1%)

trans - 33.7% (down 2.9%)

enby - 31.5% (down 0.2%)

gender non-conforming - 29.0% (up 2.8%)

Last year queer was added to the checkbox list because it was entered into the textbox by over 1% of participants (2.9%) the previous year, and it rocketed to second place. At the time I was very surprised by this, and I had some reservations about the data quality, because the word “gender” isn’t mentioned in the question. Perhaps people were choosing queer as a checkbox option because the question isn’t clear enough and they identify as queer in terms of their sexual orientation? This year, the queer checkbox option was a little longer:

queer (partially or completely in relation to gender)

... and it was still entered by around the same proportion of participants. I now feel satisfied that these results are representative of participants’ gender identities or similar, and not entered in error. I will retain this wording for future surveys, just in case.

Aside from that, nothing particularly stands out as a new trend. Here’s the graph of the top 10 identity words from the past seven surveys:

[Please note, there was no survey in 2014 so the graph is a little misleading on the left there.]

Genderqueer continues its gradual downward trend, and I’ve bolded that line so you can see it more clearly. Last year it was sixth most popular, and this year it’s seventh. Gender non-conforming has climbed a little and now sits above transgender, but only by a very slim margin of 0.05% (12 people) - just enough to push transgender out of the top 5.

THE 1% AND 3% BOUNDARIES

In order to talk about the textbox entries and the words I will be adding and removing from the checkbox list, I’ll first have to explain a decision I made last year.

In 2019 the checkbox identity list had 30 terms on it, which was long enough that people couldn’t find their identities. Several people asked that the words be sorted in alphabetical order to make them easier to find, but if I do that I will risk primacy and recency bias - the phenomenon of participants being more likely to choose options at the start and end of a list respectively, the solution for which is to randomise the list for each participant.

The 1% boundary ensures that a word only gets added to the checkbox list when enough people write it into the textbox, but I can’t use the same boundary for removing terms from the checkbox list, because most words get chosen around four times more often when they’re presented as easy checkboxes that remind participants of their existence.

So, last year I decided to create a removal boundary of 3%. The proposal: if a checkbox identity term is chosen by under 3% of participants, it will be removed from the checkbox list for next year. When I ran the numbers in 2019, I found that the few terms that fit that criterion were words I have mainly seen used by older people, and older people are underrepresented in online surveys. If I remove checkbox terms that are mostly used by order people, I am further excluding them from a survey that is already less accessible to them.

The only solution I could think of was to start asking for participants’ ages every year, and then remove words that are chosen by under 3% of both under-30s and over-30s. This year I asked for age, and let people choose in 5-year increments, to reduce identifiability. I then split the popularity of identity words by age: participants 30 and younger, and participants 31 and older.

THE CHECKBOXES

Here’s how the top 5s look when split by age group:

30 and younger

nonbinary - 68.0%

queer (partially or completely in relation to gender) - 42.9%

trans - 35.0%

enby - 32.6%

transgender - 29.8%

31 and older

nonbinary - 56.9%

queer (partially or completely in relation to gender) - 43.1%

genderqueer - 29.8%

trans - 26.2%

gender non-conforming - 25.3%

Broadly similar at the top, though older participants were more likely to choose genderqueer and gender non-conforming, whereas younger participants were more likely to choose enby and transgender. (You can see more on the word “enby” and its age connotations in the first report here.)

Here’s the new top 15, calculated as an average percentage from both age groups:

This graph shows that in this new overall top 15, people aged 31 and over were significantly more likely to identify as genderqueer or woman. But I think it is interesting to note that the two groups are much more similar than they are different.

WORDS TO REMOVE (UNDER 3%)

On the checkbox list, only three terms were chosen by under 3% of participants in both age groups: third gender, cisgender, and binary.

I will be keeping cisgender and binary on the list for next year, because I have a policy of offering words that are opposites of words that need to stay on the list. In this case, they act as controls for transgender and nonbinary.

However, third gender has been on the list since the first survey because someone suggested it when I casually crowdsourced checkbox ideas, and it has always been pretty low on the popularity list. Last year it was 2.2%, and this year it was about the same: 2.2% for under-30s, and 2.3% for over-30s. I looked into the phrase a little more, and found that it’s essentially a term used by white anthropologists to describe non-straight-non-cis people in non-Western societies. That could include LGB people and binary trans people, in addition to people whose genders are not described by the M/F binary. On the basis of racism alone I’ll be very happy to remove this term from the checkbox list for next year.

If there are no words to remove next year, I will consider increasing the removal threshold to 4%.

TEXTBOX IDENTITY WORDS

This part is always a joy for me, and the age group thing made it more interesting this year. There were 3,546 unique identities written into the textboxes, which is one new term for every seven people.

Taking all write-ins at face value, there were two words that were typed in by over 1% of participants in either age group: human, and female.

This is probably the point at which some of you will start to feel nervous. “Adult human female” is the slogan of some gender-critical/trans-exclusionary radical feminists. Most years the survey link gets shared in gender-critical circles and we get a handful of responses from people identifying as women, some of them trying to disrupt the survey and some earnestly sharing their experiences of their own genders.

This year I thought more about the issue and came to a decision about whether or not these responses should be included, and you can read more about that here, but the summary is: many gender-critical women responding to the survey describe lifelong experiences of gender dysphoria and a relationship with their bodies that could have been recounted by any nonbinary participant. I invite anyone to participate who feels that the gender binary has failed them, and gender-critical women/TERFs should be included in that group.

So, if a gender-critical woman’s response isn’t abusive or hurtful, it can stay. That means that we had plenty of people who entered the words adult, human and female into the textboxes, and I have to decide what to do about that.

Adult didn’t make the cut. For some reason it wasn’t entered as often as human and female.

Human was an easy decision. It can be assumed that if one is filling in a survey on the internet using a keyboard, one is probably human. That doesn’t need to be included on the list.

Female is harder. I have previously debated whether or not to include male and female on the checkbox list, and every time I have decided that the risk is too great. My experience is that many trans and nonbinary people are uncomfortable enough being asked about the gender they were assigned at birth and their biological sex that they would be much more likely to duck out of any survey even vaguely alluding to it. Since male and female were never entered by over 1% of participants I never had to consider it at all - until now.

So, when it became apparent while the survey was open that female might break 1%, I ran some informal polls on Twitter and Mastodon, and combined the results in a spreadsheet. I wanted to find out whether people associate male/female with biological sex and/or gender assigned at birth, and how people would feel about them being included as visible checkbox options. Here’s a summary:

81% of voters said that male and female relate to bodies/sex/anatomy exclusively or in at least some contexts. In the extremes, people were a little more likely to say that male/female relate to bodies/sex only, as opposed to gender only. This fits my experience of the trans narrative that sex and gender are different things that are incongruent in trans people.

People were on the whole in favour of male and female being words on the checkbox list distinct from man and woman, but it was very close.

When asked how they would personally feel seeing male/female on the checkbox list, it became a little less ambiguous - only 18% said they’d feel uncomfortable or otherwise negative. I say “only” - one in five is a lot of participants. I suspect that would still lead to a lot of drop-outs.

To act as something like a control, I asked about an issue that is often controversial: the inclusion of it/it pronouns in the pronoun checkbox list. 82% said they felt good about them being included, compared to only 54% of people who would feel good about male and female being included.

For now I conclude that the words male and female correlate with physical and anatomical sex enough that it would interfere with the quality of the data. Until the balance tips from “male/female = body” to “male/female = gender”, I don’t think I will feel confident that I can add them to the list without affecting survey results and participants’ inclusion.

So that’s it for the words counted at face value - nothing will be added next year.

However, taking into account variations of spelling and similar, the picture looks a little different.

Some textboxes contained phrases like “lesbian (yes, as a gender identity)”, which I found interesting! So I started to count as many of these oddballs as I could, ensuring along the way that they fit the spirit of the question. The following words were entered in some way by at least 1% of participants in one of the two age groups:

lesbian

butch

femme

Butch and femme are familiar to me as words that describe an experience of gender outside of heteronormativity, but lesbian in this context was new to me, which is always exciting!

Interestingly, I didn’t see anything like the same trend for terms that usually describe gay men, such as gay, bear, etc. For fairness, I will include gay if I include lesbian, in the same way that I include cisgender if I list transgender. And, like queer, I will feel more confident in the data if I can know for sure that participants are choosing words in the spirit of the question - gender identity rather than sexual orientation.

That means next year I will be adding four (!) new terms to the checkbox list:

lesbian (partially or completely in relation to gender)

gay (partially or completely in relation to gender)

butch

femme

The removal of one term and the addition of four will make the identity list 33 words long. This is very unwieldy! People were already struggling to find familiar identity words at 30. Next year when I crowdfund I will be raising money to pay for SmartSurvey to make a custom question layout for us, that looks something like this mock-up a nice person made last year:

A search box, and when you start typing the term you’re looking for, the list of checkbox options filters out everything that doesn’t fit. So if you typed “dem” you’d be left with demiboy, demigirl, and demigender.

The quote that SmartSurvey gave me is £400 plus VAT - so I assume £480. Oof! But I think it would be a one-off fee, and I think it would be worth it.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

You all are super interesting!

“Nonbinary” is the most popular, but it’s still only good for two-thirds of us.

The identity list is getting very long.

Genderqueer is down, queer is up.

The line between gender and sexuality is delightfully blurry when you get right down to it.

Age is just a number.

It’s already August and I’ve only done two reports of maybe four or five. In addition to this whole pandemic situation I’ve also been going through a lot in relation to disability issues, housing, etc. I’m doing my best, and I won’t give up!

SEE ALSO

A list of links to all results, including UK and worldwide, and including previous years - summary page / results tag

The mailing list for being notified of the final report and next year’s survey

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it and would like to give something back, you could increase your chances of taking part in future surveys by following on Tumblr, Twitter or the Fediverse, or subscribing to the mailing list. Alternatively, you could take a look at my Amazon wishlist.

#results #identity #2020

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theramseyloft · 4 years ago

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Not quite a Tuesday...

But now that we can safely move birds again, I am WELL over cap and have several available to new homes!

Ellie 1/10/21 January Update Lahore/Modena x VSC/Frillback/OGO Dirty Ash Red bar hen Sired by Sissy out of Valentine 9/3/19 Bred by The Ramsey Loft Vaccinated 7/29/20 for Paratyphoid/Salmonella Vaccinated 3/17/20 for PMV Loft bird $40

Ellie will receive her Paratyphoid Booster tomorrow.

Though she may bond with a new person in a new home, she is currently more interested in other birds than people out in the loft.

She can be a butt to other hens, though that seems to have mellowed.

And she has a history of keeping a favorite mate who is allowed to connect the cloacal kiss during treading, and maintaining one to three sugar daddies on the side, who she will flirt with to get them to feed her, but flatten her tail on the ground when they treat her so that the cloacal kiss can’t connect.

Gus 1/11/21 January Update Lahore-Modena x Giant Homer Dirty Bronze Blue t-pattern check Sired by Dudley out of Agnes 9/5/19 Bred by The Ramsey Loft Vaccinated 7/29/20 for Paratyphoid/Salmonella (to be updated tomorrow) Vaccinated 3/17/20 for PMV Retired $30

Gus is a nearly two pound chicken of a pigeon that flies like a bowling ball.

He may allow himself to be preened on very rare occasion, only if he’s explicitly asked “Gus, can I preen you?” with one finger extended, but not touching him. If he reaches out to preen the finger tip, his handler may preen his cheek. Turning his head away means no.

He happily takes safflower seeds and likes to vibe on a knee, thigh, or shoulder.

He is not to be bred under any circumstances, due to a genetic tendency for painful flight feather cysts that I would rather not pass on to a new generation.

I would prefer him to be a house pet, as he likes people and will be happier indoors with a person he can chill with than out in a loft.

Cody 1/12/21 January Update COF-Racing Homer x Frillback-Giant Homer Pied Almond Brown T-pattern cock het for Grizzle, toy stencil and frill stencil Sired by Betty out of Hagrid 11/3/19 Bred by The Ramsey Loft Vaccinated 7/29/20 for Paratyphoid/Salmonella (to be updated tomorrow) Vaccinated 3/17/20 for PMV Loft Bird $40

Cody used to be very human friendly, but after having to be treated for worms in December, he is no longer comfortable with hands.

He is an excellent father with five clutches to his name.

Tight setter, devoted pumper, not usually distressed by egg or peep checks.

He would be an excellent addition to a breeding project.

Dodger 1/18/21 January Update Feral Dirty Sooty Smoky Blue Check hen Aprox DOB: 4/3/20 Found with Alex 4/28/20 Surrendered 4/29/20 Paratyphoid booster administered 1/19/21 PMV booster administered 6/5/20 Retired $30

Dodger is an extremely skittish bird, retired due to neurological complications from calcium deficiency.

When stressed, her legs stop working and she colapses.

She recovers in minutes, if removed from the stressful situation.

Though she may well make a full recovery eventually, it would be best for her health not to allow her to breed.

Alex 1/19/21 January Update Feral Dirty Blue Bar cock Aprox DOB: 4/11/20 Found with Dodger 4/28/20 Surrendered 4/29/20 Paratyphoid booster administered 1/19/20 PMV booster administered 5/16/20 Retired $30

Alex is a lot more bold than Dodger, but, being feral, is not quite brave enough to sit on a knee or shoulder for more than a few seconds.

He started showing the same neurological complications as Dodger this week, so it will also be in his best interest not to be bred.

Indica 1/24/21 January Updates Lucerne-STRH x Lahore-Modena-VSC-FB-OGO Sooty Ash Red Bar cock Sired by Vynni out of Ellie 4/19/20 Bred by The Ramsey Loft PMV booster administered 6/21/20 Paratyphoid booster administered 1/19/21 Companion $50

Indica extremely human social, often wanting to get into what ever I am doing, when not flirting with his husband or harassing his flockmates.

I’d prefer he be adopted with his husband, if possible, but if not, he would be happy as a house pet.

Indica is Bi, and may pair up with a hen in a new loft, but he would need flock mates bigger than him who could stand up to his aggressive bullying and not be walked all over.

He has attempted to drive a few hens, but hasn't tried to tread any yet, so whether or not he is likely to pair with a hen is uncertain.

Pookie 12/24/20 6 Months Old Feral x ODC-STRH Ash Red Bar Cock Sired by Pippin out of Cookie 6/24/20 Bred by The Ramsey Loft Paratyphoid boosters administered 1/19/21 PMV boosters administered 9/9/20 Loft Bird $40

Pookie has no interest in people, just Indica and general mayhem.

I would prefer he and Indica be adopted together, but if they can’t be, Pookie is also Bi.

Other than Indica, Pookie has flirt with and tread several hens, so he is very likely to pair up with some one in a new loft.

Frito 1/13/21 4 Months Old COF-RH-FB-GH x COF-RH Almond pied Ash Red check cock Sired by Cody out of Rigby 9/13/20 Bred by The Ramsey Loft PMV and Paratyphoid boosters administered 11/15/20 Loft Bird $40

Frito is the most independent bird presently in the Loft.

He washed from Therapy training around six weeks of age due to vehement dislike of harness work.

He is uninterested in me entirely, and doesn’t interact with other pigeons very often either.

He has recently claimed a nest box which he is able to defend, but has made no attempt to practice wooing a mate yet.

He will be happiest as a loft bird.

For more information about the birds, our breeding project, or to make an appointment to visit the loft, you can email [email protected] or call/text 706-993-7452.

Though we prefer local pick up, shipping is available with in the continental US.

Shipping boxes are $10

I will need your zip code to calculate postage.

Shipping boxes are designed around the physiology of the birds. They are sturdy corrugated cardboard, which is surprisingly well insulated! There are air holes all down the sides, but only across the top in front: taking advantage of the fact that hot air rises. As hot air leaves the top holes, cool air is drawn in the lower ones. Air holes are covered by a filter, which provides a few benefits: Keeping the bird and its mess contained, moderate protection from outside contaminants, and most importantly, darkness.

Pigeons are diurnal. Deprived of light, they basically shut off and fall asleep. If they could see and were active, more than 24 hours with out water would leave them dangerously dehydrated. But while they sleep, their digestion is drastically slowed, allowing them to conserve water and calories for days longer than they could while active.

I line the boxes with two layers of paper towels and send seeds with them, but there is no safe or legal way to send water, which is why keeping them in the dark for the trip is so important.

Live birds travel by ground, to protect them in case of hazardous materials ending up in the same scheduled shipment. If that happens, the live animal is simply delayed until the next scheduled truck or sent along a different rout.

Some times this results in delays. It is not uncommon for a bird to arrive a day or so later than projected, but pigeons travel very well and I have never had one arrive in poor condition.

When the bird gets home, show them where water and food are, and only let them explore once they've had a drink.

They will be more interested in drinking than eating for the first few days, and you will see it in their very wet poo. Once they re-balance, you will see their poo firming back up again. It usually takes them about a week to balance back out.

Yes, I am aware of the delays to postal service and the losses of reptiles and hatchery chicks.

Livestock does not go through the sorting machines. They are moved by hand.

Reptiles are not usually shipped in boxes that look different from regular mail, so they can be easily lost by overwhelmed staff.

Hatchery chicks are shipped out before they have a first meal because it’s cheaper to replace them if they die than feed them for a week.

The crates made for pigeons and other legal poultry are designed around bird physiology and air thermodynamics, keeping the birds cool and asleep most of the trip. They are not shaped like the average box used for shipping inanimate objects, and they stand out like a sore thumb, making them harder to misplace or lose track of. Healthy Pigeons over 6 weeks old who start the journey well hydrated are comfortably travel safe up to 7 days.

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xiaoquanquans · 4 years ago

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at my disposal

sypnosis : y/n and chishiya became allies after y/n had saved chishiya from getting killed in a game of tag . they helped each other stay alive in the borderlands while also collecting all the needed cards to return back to the real world . after following chishiya around religiously , y/n had fallen hard for chishiya and he had explained to her that he did not care for her and would do anything to keep himself alive . all the remaining players had split out to collect the face cards . y/n and chishiya were focusing on completing the diamond cards . but chishiya did what he had to survive .

tw warnings : swearing , manipulation , death , betrayal , mentions of alcohol , self harm , blood , depression ( do not read if you somehow relate to the tw’s , i genuinely care okay ? take care of yourself bby 🖤 )

notices :

• MANGA SPOILERS!!

• mixed pov’s

• the game announcer speaks in bold and sly remarks or important sentences are written in italic

• lowercase

• this ff might be a bit confusing , because it’s a knowledge diamond based game

• chishiya’s true nature / canon chishiya

• gender neutral reader

• not proof-read

—

the game that we will be playing is the keynesian beauty contest . difficulty K♦️. henceforth, the rules shall be explained . within one minute all of you will pick a number from 0 to 100 . after everyone has entered their numbers , an average number will be taken from the addition of the numbers of all the 5 players . the player that has the closest number to the average number will be the winner and earn one point.

here we were , all five of us facing each other at this pentagon shaped table awaiting for our deaths . the rules were simple , win or die .

if you get an answer wrong you’ll receive -1 point. it’s game over for those who reach -10 points.

kuzuryuu keiichi , the third highest executive at the Beach was directly facing me , chishiya was to my left and an additional two players as well .

benzo, an wise old man and hinako a snobby looking woman .

upon heading the rules it was obvious that only one of us would make it out alive . i wished that i had known that before entering the courthouse .

i turned to face chishiya only to see him sneering at keiichi.

only one player will make it out alive .

chishiya

why was he so special to me , so intriguing .

i was the one who saved him but for some reason i’m also the one following him around .

i was a smart person , i figured it out quick .

it was obvious to me that i was in love with him , and he noticed it as well .

one day , we were both hanging around the poolside of the Beach far away from each other when we exchanged glances .

not long after he made his way towards me and pulled me aside .

he stared me blankly into my eyes , no emotion portrayed through them . listen , i’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me and it’s genuinely really annoying but you have to know .

i do not like you , i don’t want to like you and i never will . if we were in a bad situation i would not hesitate to sacrifice you to safe myself . i would use you at my disposal if i had to so stop giving me those looks , you should know that i hate them and i do not care about you .

after that day , we rarely exchanged words . but for some reason i still kept following him around . he was cold to everyone else , i wasn’t anyone special . but god forbid him , he was just so unique to me . he couldn’t keep me away from him and his god complex even if he wanted to .

before i could speak up i was quickly outspoken by keiichi .

“ you’ve all heard the rules . if you have no further questions we will continue and start the game. ”

chishiya snickered. he knew that it was going to be him . he knew that he was clever and he showcased that every chance he could .

he knew he would be the one to walk away from the court with the card in his hand . the K of diamonds would just merely be another addition to his substantial stack of cards that he had collected or as some might say , stole .

the first few rounds had passed and everyone had gotten the hang of the game . it was simple to everyone in the room . all you had to do was get the calculations right in the time limit of 5 minutes .

hinako spoke up , “ so this game , is merely a deduction of how far the opponents can calculate? ”

i let out a quiet laugh , everyone had already registered that after the first round and here she was only figuring it out now .

you made a bet with yourself , she’d be the first one out , if not the second .

“ but what we’re reading isn’t mentality but rationality . ” chishiya replied .

after a few rounds the tables weren’t turning , keiichi had been winning every round because of his solid strategy of everyone keying in either 0 or 1 . someone had to do something or else we’d all lose to him .

so i realised i had to change it up a bit .

i quickly inputted the number 100

it took everyone by surprise , i knew i had no chance of winning because 100 was definitely too far from the average but i inspired the rest to take part in what i was doing while also taking away keiichi’s advantage.

a few more rounds passed and both Benzo and Hinako had reached -9 points . I was on -7 and Chishiya was on -8 . Keiichi was leading with -4 points .

Both Benzo and Hinako were one point away from death , so they had to be extra careful in the next round .

Unfortunately for them , they guessed a number that was too off from the answer , causing the acid on top of them to pour down , melting and disintegrating their bodies until they were gone .

Chishiya smirked at it . Their lives had meant nothing to them and so did yours . He knew what he had to do after this . How he could ensure his survival by taking you out .

and here you were , in the pitch black bar of the Beach . gulping down bottles of alcohol , trying your best to forget about what had happened . you weren’t weak , you kept telling yourself that even if you didn’t believe it . but deep down you knew you were .

once you were done with your bottle you slammed it against the counter , breaking it into hundreds of shards .

you took the biggest one you could find and lifted up your sleeve .

this wouldn’t be your first mark, your arm was filled with lines that were distinct in width from past experiences that you had before coming to the Borderlands .

before you could hesitate you did it . the glass shard sliced it’s way through your skin with ease .

you dropped the shard out of pain causing it to break off into many smaller pieces .

once again you scavenged for more alcohol , looking for fire whiskey which was something that could help numb the pain .

after minutes of searching you finally found a bottle-

“ y/n what happened , why is the whole bar in a mess? ”

you turned around to face kuina , a look of worry was displayed all over her face .

she made eye contact for a moment before looking down towards your arm .

“ what were you thinking? ” you heard her mutter .

she quickly took the bottle of whiskey out of your hand and placed it on the counter , after that she slowly brought you to the other side of the bar due to there being shards of glass everywhere on the floor.

once she sat you down she went to look for a medkit, leaving you to yourself and your thoughts . kuina took as little time as she could because she knew you weren’t in the right state of mine to be alone .

once she found the kit she rushed back to the bar , only to find that you’ve fainted from the all the loss of blood . it was a thin cut line but a very deep one , it looked like you might have even accidentally cut off a vein .

after you had woke up the next day you and kuina had a long talk and after that you felt much better .

until you ran into chishiya again on the same day.

since there are only 3 players remaining , a new rule will be added into the game. if two players pick the same number they will both get -2 points .

i was already on -8 , meaning any wrong choice would lead me to my death .

picking 0 or 1 would definitely lead me to my death , so I’ll choose a random number between 2 and 100

how about , 62 .

the results are in , chishiya is the winner , number 23.

y/n ( -10points )

chishiya (-8 points )

keiichi ( -7 points )

and that was it ,

endgame for me .

before accepting my death i had one question , how did he figure out i was going to pick 23 .

and as if he read my thoughts , chishiya spoke up .

“in order to distance yourself you would’ve picked a number in between 2 to 100 because 0 or 1 had the highest chances of being duplicates .

after clearing all the possibilities of you picking a random number i was left with 62 and 74.

and i chose between those , and to my luck you picked 62 and all i had to do from there was divide 62 in half . leaving me with 23.

with this , a player has reached -10 points , it is now game over for that participant .

chishiya laughed , “ like i said you’re at my disposal , should have listened the first time . ”

and those were the last words i heard before meeting my end .

- END -

tags: @donnyhateslife @hvrriicane @myloveforchishiya ( dm to be added to tag list )

oui oui love yall 💖

#chishiya #chishiyaxreader #aliceinborderland #imawanokuninoalice #chishiyashuntaro #shuntarochishiya #chishiyacult #aib #aibsimps #aib reader #alice in borderland gifs #xreader

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the-bejeesus · 4 years ago

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To Those Who Say “I’m not gonna catch up on One Piece until it’s finished. Why would I watch/read 1000+ episodes/chapters when I don’t even get to know how the story ends?”

Now for the past few years, when I came across somebody who said this, my rebute would be something like “Well the series is great already. It doesn’t really matter if I don’t know how it ends, because the journey itself is enjoyable.” or “Man if that’s your excuse, who you gonna explain why you read/watch stuff like Berserk, Hunter X Hunter, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and My Hero Academia? Newsflash, they aren’t done yet.” But it came across my mind that I can now apply a completely different approach:

“If you start watching/reading at this pace right now, it will be over by the time you catch up.”

If you’re a fan of the series, you’ll know that for awhile now Oda has been saying that he plans to end the series in just 5-4 years. Now he’s made lots of claims in the past that turned out to be ridiculous. However, many One Piece researchers have compiled his claims and found out that they only get more accurate as time goes on, with the most ridiculous claims being found to be myths. And with the most recent claims of ending the series in less than 5 years, even his editors who are usually skeptical have started to trust that he can do this. After all, he has officially set there to be only one more saga (which isn’t necessarily one arc, but it’s either going to be 1-2 major arcs or an anthology of 5-6 shorter arcs). And now that we can trust this claim, we can essentially extrapolate how many chapters/episodes are left and what pace we have to binge to catch up at just the right time.

If you plan to read the manga (black and white):

The manga in black in white is a perfectly fine way to enjoy One Piece. It’s what Oda draws, it’s how he intends it to be viewed, and best of all, it will be the first version of publication to finish.

Out of the 1223 weeks since the first chapter published in July 19, 1997, 1000 chapters have published, meaning on average he publishes 42 chapters per year, or in other words, there are only 10 hiatuses per year (including holidays where WSJ does not publish). Now if I wanted to be more accurate, I’d only look at the chapters published this year, to exclude outliers like how he had no hiatuses for the first 200 chapters, or how he had a 4-week hiatus during the timeskip, but 2020 has been a bit crazy, so we’re not doing that for this or any of the others.

Going off of this, the final chapter would be chapter 1212 in December 28, 2025 (yes, the 28th would be a Sunday again.) So here’s how you’d calculate the pace in which you need to read One Piece, and really this is how we’ll calculate it for every version)

Now I know math is boring, but the reason I’m showing this to you is because the amount of weeks until One Piece ends will vary based on when you start this binge. Chances are you aren’t going to start the day you see this post, and there’s an even greater chance you won’t see this post the day it’s posted. For every example I’m going to assume you started binging on December 28, 2020. Now let’s try to use it for this example.

And there’s your answer, just read 4-5 chapters per week. By the end, One Piece should be nearly over or have very recently ended. To put that into a different perspective, you could purchase and read just two volumes per month and you’ll be at prime pace. Or you could read one chapter every day, but only on weekdays. If you want to, you can see this calculation in action in graph form.

While this is a very rudimentary graph, it’s a basic visualization of what we’re calculating here. We’re calculating what speed we need to binge to catch up at exactly the right moment. I say exact, but ultimately no one can predict how many chapters there will be exactly, nor how many hiatuses Oda will go on during it. It will be important, as you’re nearing the end, to find a spoiler-free way to keep up on how close One Piece is to ending. To know whether you ought to speed up or slow down.

If you plan to watch the anime (subtitled):

For years now people have hated on the anime “terrible animation!” “terrible pacing” but at the end of the day, it’s the more popular version. Or the more viewed version I should say. And personally, I think that once you acknowledge its problems and learn how to deal with them, it’s a perfectly fine experience. There’s enough good voice acting and enough good storytelling that you’re easily able to ignore the problems. Plus, the animation has substantially improved since Wano.

Now for this we’re going to have to change a lot of variables to get this right. We’re going to have to adjust when publication started, and recalculate when One Piece will end by looking at how slowly the anime adapts the manga, and how behind it is. The anime aired on October 20, 1999, and has aired 956 episodes since then. This means on average they air 44.9 episodes per year, meaning there is pretty much only 7 breaks the entire year. With these 956 episodes, they have adapted 955 chapters, making the pace almost exactly one chapter per episode. However this is really inaccurate, considering all the better-paced arcs earlier on in the story. Looking solely at episodes 2012 and onwards, the anime adapts at a pace of 0.65 chapters/episode.

Knowing that there are roughly 212 chapters left, and Toei adapts at 0.65 chapters per episode, we can assume that there are going to be roughly 324 episodes left. That sounds like too many, but keep in mind that there will be several, several instances where the manga will be on hiatus whereas the anime will keep on airing. Knowing there are approximately 324 episodes left, and that the anime only takes about 7 breaks a year, we can assume that it will take 7 years, or 374.49 weeks before the anime will end. So now we have the information we need to do the math again.

x = 1280/374.49

x = 3.417 episodes/week.

It may seem like a more relaxed binge, since you get a whole 2 extra years to binge, and you only have to do 3-4 episodes per week, compared to the 4-5 chapters. But keep in mind that these episodes are 24 minutes each. Still not at all bad, but you will be spending more time on it overall.

If you plan to watch One Pace:

One Pace is a fan project that edits the anime so that filler and padding is cut, other edits will be made to make the anime more manga-accurate, such as reorganizing scenes, or adding title cards where absent. Originally only used by a niche number of One Piece fans, One Pace has grown in popularity, and has tried to improve its quality to accommodate more fans, such as making their episodes Dual Audio (meaning you can switch between the dub and original Japanese audio tracks), and including Spanish subtitles.

You’d think we’d have to adjust for when One Pace began, how slowly One Pace catches up, and the works, but there’s not much to calculate. Fortunately for us, no matter how far behind One Pace is on editing the current arc, they always like to wrap things up just a few weeks within when an arc ended, if not the very same week. So really all we have to calculate is how many One Pace episodes there will be by the end of all this, so that we know how many you’ll need to watch per week.

Looking solely at what they’ve covered so far, One Pace has taken 573 episodes and condensed it down to 259 episodes. That’s a pace of 2.21 anime episodes/ paced episode. Earlier we calculated that there would be 324 episodes of the anime left, making for 1280 episodes total. This would mean that there would be around 578 One Pace episodes by the end. And One Pace would probably wrap up in, let’s say 376 weeks, because as I said, they’ll probably finish editing the final arc a week or two after the last episode airs.

x = 578/376

x = 1.53 episodes per week

Now that’s a relaxed pace. 1-2 episodes per week? That’s so slow, I’m not even sure if I’ll remember what I watched last week next time I watch some episodes. The only problem is some of the pre-timeskip still haven’t been edited. They’ll probably be done by the time they finish the final arc, but that’s not gonna work out fast enough. You’ll hit your first roadblock about 7 weeks in when you need to watch the Baratie arc and it’s not done. And don’t even get me started on how many arcs aren’t done in dub or Spanish sub yet. Hopefully you could just switch to the anime or manga when you hit these arcs, readjusting how many episodes/chapters you need to watch/read when you do. But that’s a bit of an excessive amount of math for something that’s supposed to be fun. So yeah, if you’re still convinced you shouldn’t get into One Piece until it’s ended, maybe this is the option for you.

If you plan to read the manga (Colored):

Since 2012, Shueisha has made a colorization of One Piece. It’s not a fan coloring, it’s as official as it gets. Many consider the color schemes portrayed in this version as the most canon, as the majority are pulled straight from whatever colored illustrations of Oda’s they can find. And quite frankly it makes the manga at least 10 times more beautiful. It’s especially great if you have trouble interpreting dense, small black and white panels.

This one is a doozy. You’d think all I gotta do is calculate how far behind the colored manga usually and just adjust from there, right? Wrong. Because how far behind the colored manga is, or how frequently they release volumes in full color, is one of the most inconsistent things I have ever seen. You wanna see what I’m talking about? This is how they’ve chosen to release each volume since 2012:

Volume 1-12: July 15, 2012

Volume 13-23: September 28, 2012

Volume 24-63: December 4, 2012

Volume 64-65: April 4, 2013

Volume 66-68: December 20, 2013

Volume 69-70: August 25, 2014

Volume 71-72: September 16, 2015

Volume 73-75: October 4, 2016

Volume 76: December 2, 2016

Volume 77: March 3, 2017

Volume 78: July 2, 2017

Volume 79: September 4, 2017

Volume 80: December 4, 2017

Volume 81-82: March 3, 2018

Volume 83: October 4, 2018

Volume 84-86: August 2, 2019

Volume 87-92: September 16, 2020

How I am supposed to find out how long it will take for Shueisha to colorize the final volume of One Piece is beyond me. I guess the first step would be to look at how far behind the manga each release was on average, but I’m going to ignore all the ones before 2013, because those were clearly just Shueisha catching up really fast cause they just started and didn’t want to be dozens of volumes behind forever. So of the 14 publications between 2013 and now, on average the last chapter of the last volume they colored was 97.78 weeks after that chapter had published in Weekly Shonen Jump. This means that if the final chapter of One Piece is chapter 1212 on December 28, 2025, then you can expect the final colored volume to publish November 14, 2027.

x = 1212/359

x = 3.37 chapters/week

So if you prefer the manga but don’t want to read 5 chapters every week for 5 years, this might be a better option for ya. But yea, I have no doubt my prediction is at least a little off for this one.

If you plan to watch the anime (dubbed):

Unlike the 4KidsTV and Odex dubs of One Piece, the FUNimation dub is a perfect way to enjoy One Piece. The DVDs come with enjoyable commentary and a marathon mode, great for binging.

FUNimation’s releases of the dub are inconsistent, although not nearly as erratic as the colored manga release. However, there was recently a 2-year hiatus we only just got out of. Since Episode 1′s dub in May 27, 2008, the dub has gotten as far as Episode 614. But that’s only looking at the DVD releases. If you’re willing to stream on FUNimationnow, the dub is as far as 641, and if you’re willing to digitally purchase it from an e-shop such as the Microsoft store, it goes all the way to Episode 654. With that being said, that would mean that on average, FUNimation dubs 1.004 episodes per week. Although if we go back to before the two-year hiatus so as to exclude it from the average, it’s actually 1.10 episodes per week. Not a huge difference, actually. And then if we look solely after the two-year hiatus, it’s actually 2.25 episodes per week, which is insanely faster. It’s hard to tell what the future of the dub will be. I can’t assume they’ll go this fast forever, so I’m just going to take the average of all 3 and say it’s 1.45 episodes per week. Don’t know if that’s the best mathematical approach, but the number seems about right.

So knowing that the dub is at Episode 654 and looking at our previous guesstimation that the anime will be 1280 episodes long, we can predict that it will take 431 weeks before the dub catches up and ends. That would be in 2029! Sounds quick at first until you notice it’s 4 years behind!

x = 1280/431

x = 2.96 episodes per week

Looks like it’s almost exactly 3 episodes per week. Not as much less of a workload as I expected, compared to catching up to the sub. You know, I figured those 4 extra years would make you binge a lot slower.

Final Thoughts:

There’s a lot of my math that was estimation, approximations, extrapolations. Feel free to correct me or fact check me, especially if you plan on using this. I figured this would be a fun thought excercise. There’s also a lot of smaller variables I simply didn’t want to take into account because of how long this is already. For example, reading the black and white manga. The calculation can vary slightly depending on if you read it the day it’s published (which I assume would have to be a fanscan unless you can read Japanese), reading the weekly publication legally on Viz.com, waiting for the physical volume release. The dub can also vary depending on whether you buy from Microsoft, wait for the FUNimationnow release, wait for the DVDs, or wait for the Collection sets. So feel free to take this into account.

#One Piece #OP #ワンピース #Wan Pīsu #anime #manga #FUNimation #dub #One Pace

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einprotagonist · 3 years ago

Text

Cars

This might always be inside me and I have tried speaking about it, it just hurts me all the time though that I didn’t make it to the stage that I wanted. But it’s about time I wrote it down and tried harder to move on from it.

I chose to do Mechanical Engineering despite being good at computer programming only for two reasons - average physics love and CARS. How something about them makes me crazy in love with them and for sure it just ain’t looks. It is the complexity of the machines and the simple outcome that the complexity provides. Sure, it started with the speed racing games and being able to tell apart every car on the road even by their headlights as a kid, they excited me.

I made my decision to ‘okay let’s see what they have for me in future’ and chose to be a Mechanical Engineer so that I could learn the overall Mechanics and Theories of all Machines and then look deeper into Auto-mobiles part of it. Well how much did I learn about machines in general is a story for other day, but Auto-mobile - I was moving at a fast pace.

As a freshman in the college, I looked around and found out we have a racing team who has competed on few levels - they represented the college nationwide! I kind of knew that this is what I came here for! I enquired about how to get entry in the team. After a few recruitment rounds including Tests and Interviews, I made it to the SAE India Collegiate Club’s Team Ingenium. It was a moment of pride, bunch of fresh students being inducted and it felt good to be finally making moves for the Auto-mobiles in my life. I was given tasks to learn and assist my seniors in any ways that they require. They always looked so full of knowledge and hard working as ever! I came in the morning when they were working and I went back in the evening while they never left until past midnights! It was the inspiration that was needed to just keep going with more enthusiasm.

I worked a lot, certainly not my best but always pushing for more, and learned a lot! Slowly I figured out the problems that higher ups in the team face against the administration of college (we’ll come to this later) and how it affected our plans. The team from last term made it to the grounds and did their task magnificently, they came back and were welcomed by applauds from the members. I witnessed it and I wanted nothing less than the same ahead in time.

This was them.

Now moving onto the year in which my team would take part, there were large number of issues and the Captain + Seniors decided that the team should not take part this year. It was a major blow to my dreams, as we would break the continuity and chance to improve upon last year, not only this but there would be only the smallest number of experienced members left - TOUGH SCENARIO! Never gave up though.

We kept taking notes and kept studying slightly in that direction to not lose the track over this year.

A new year came and new team recruitment started, we all were hopeful again! We buckled up for this ride and worked hardest possible over the next three months for the Phase 1 of the competition itself. We were going in full force. My seniors took a short break before beginning the summer’s work and we juniors (technically mid-year) waited for them to arrive together so that we could begin. We all did what we could in that time, it was not much but honest work before they came back.

We worked all day and night after that at the captain’s apartments as college wouldn’t leave their place open for the whole team to stay back (girls and boys can’t stay together, heck girls can’t even stay because it’s WEST U.P., INDIA).

We designed our vehicle’s 3d-model, laptops constantly overheating and when cooled down then being raided by the ants! I won’t hold back to say that the few of us in those rooms really did work a lot. Calculations and concepts were all that we talked whenever we were awake, sleep was mostly 3-5 hours depending on what needs to be finished next. The documentation, including basic compilations, that year could have been much better but we were able to finish the files in time and submit them right on the deadline day (they were also extended to some extent, thanks to the lucky people in team). Well, it wasn’t finished here! The team had to head out to the event location and give a presentation from the same submitted files - we started polishing our answers and working upon what we had to study more about because we all sure were not perfect in all the departments.

A 5 man team(max members limit as per rules) was formed, I was chosen from the juniors because of my verbal skills(major differential) along with my work on brakes + designing and rest 4 were my seniors including the captain and several departmental heads from team. We travelled towards Northern India and reached their venue, it was exciting and scary at same time. I wanted to perform my head off because if we don’t make it through this phase then we were out for another year!

A couple of us decided they need to rest after wandering around the campus and rest of us were looking into the rule books and our data. Just me and the captain remained up then before tea time and then in the evening they decided to sleep again! I was not happy with the move but they needed their mind at peace and it was rational for me. Performance should speak for itself, right? We did below average, the interview panel found out that we lack the required knowledge and our parameters were not up to their standards or might even have been wrong at a few places due to the documentation carelessness earlier.

We knew inside us that the results are not going to be in our favour. It was a sad travel back to home and the results came in a month later only for us to see what we already knew, we bowed out but with my experience in hand of how it goes and what were the mistakes we made.

There goes another year and I have reached the point where this would by My Last Try for the glory I have wanted. I formed the team this time, chosen to be the captain by the people who matter and raring to go with a full force at max RPM of mind’s functioning.

Well this time we worked with utmost efficiency and without any delay on any department’s work. The documentation was kept as a parallel work to all the works going on, anything was finished - its values and infographics landed into the documents on same day. My juniors were very much into the work and never slacked off. We worked harder and smarter for longer periods of time. There were about 10-12 people living in my apartment, the food and bed was not even an issue to be considered - just 2 goals in sight:

Make it to Phase 2.

Provide comfortable space to the juniors even if you have to sleep on wheels.

We worked so bloody well, everything was smooth and perfect. I would have never imagined a better team work at this level and with such an inexperienced team. We worked like professionals at our job. I was hopeful and full of confident after seeing what had happened last year with us, we had only option and that was to improve everything. And we did.

On the day of interview, the five of us there presented our work and they were very impressed with the data that we had, the model that we made and the efforts that were visible. When they asked the questions to cross check us, we may have answered a few of them in the way that they didn’t want to hear and perhaps giving them a doubt over the work they were seeing.

We tried our best to satisfy them via our answers but sadly for us - they couldn’t stop thinking that the work they are seeing is not from us but we bought it from some merchant. THIS WAS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN. None of us even considered that the panel would think this way and then there was no coming back once we were placed in that square.

While heading back home, we knew this was still a matter of borderline as we answered so much and our work was so good (including the little mistakes in between all) that they couldn’t digest it. It was bad luck that this thought struck their mind. It would go ahead to decide the lives of 24 students in some way or other.

We crashed out by just a couple of points and my dream never came true. I could not go to the stage I wanted, I could not design the car I wanted and neither could I show to the paper-greedy people that I did deserve a job in that field. Imperfect me. College failed to attract any such company either, so I was out there in the crowded market - trying hard to reach inside any firm related to auto-mobiles. The college story about cars ended and I then lost my hope and practice over all the work. Now thinking about new ways to live life + earn after failing to get a job in the only field that I thought about as a teenager while aiming to be engineer.

I just needed to get this story out once and for all. I apologize if this hurts someone but I think I was robbed and I feel bad about it. Who robbed me? A college administration without any support, or was it the panel who decided on a fixed perspective, or was it just a bad luck? Because anyone in that particular apartment in those days can tell you that the work was nothing short of passionate input of the Team Ingenium made in 2018.

I never made it to the place I wanted the most in those 4 years.

#sae #saeindia #writers on tumblr #writerslife #Writerscommunity #cars #baja #offroad #design #mechanical engineering #team

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affectingmementally · 4 years ago

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hey i’ve been so inactive but i’m back now.

May. A new month and, as i’m sure all of you understand, an opportunity to look at where you went wrong last month and start fresh.

so i’ve started something new. some new rules to kind of relax how obsessive i am about calories but still stay in a deficit low enough to be losing weight. i’ve set myself a deficit of 1,200 on mfp, however i will only allow myself to actually reach that at the weekends or special days like birthdays, holidays etc. otherwise, i’m going to do my best to stay at around 1,000 but if not i’ll allow myself 1,100. the only reason i’m more comfortable with having the extra 200 on weekends is because one day i work for 4 hours and i don’t get to sit down at any point, i’m constantly walking around, lifting things, cleaning and if i leave early enough i can walk the long way rather than the short way to get there. during that time those extra 200 cals would have easily been burnt off. the other day i do water sports so again, the calories get burnt.

another thing that i’m doing differently this month, i’ve decided not to track vegetables. this is mainly because my parents are picking up on how much i was weighing stuff and things like lettuce, cucumber, broccoli will never be over 20 cals so i’ve decided not to count them. however i do want to count fruit because the sugar content usually makes them higher in calories.

secondly, to manage my IBS i need to cut down on coffee. so i’m going to try to only have 4 per week and no more than one a day.

third, i’m going to start writing down my total calorie intake for each day on the calendar on my wall. this way i can have a reminder of how much i should be eating and i can calculate my weekly average.

fourth, vitamins. i’ve been awful at taking them in the past and it’s noticeable when i skip them. so i’m making sure i take them before i sleep. i’m keeping them in the draw next to my bed so if i’m tired i don’t need to go downstairs. i take 1x probiotic 1x A-Z multivitamin 2x turmeric tablets (they’re anti inflammatory so help my stomach, nothing to do with weight loss) 2x colon cleanse (not laxatives, they manage toxins) and 2x metabolism boosting. they are all made from my dads line of supplements and it’s just to make me feel brighter and hopefully help me faint less as well as being in less pain with my stomach.

fifth, i start my morning very specifically now. what i want to try to do is walk in the morning but i’m taking things one step at a time. i wake up earlier to go downstairs and make myself a green tea and get a bottle of water (my bottle is 800ml and i usually drink about 6 of them everyday). i also get a hot water bottle for my stomach and sit in bed and make sure i drink all of that before i do anything else. i’ve figured out that if my mornings start well the rest of the day tends to go better.

sixth, green smoothie. some people hate the idea of drinking a litre of green liquid first thing in the morning but THIS SHIT HAS BEEN SAVING ME I SWEAR. i’m always constipated, like to the point where i’m lucky if i go once a week. however, my mum has been drinking this smoothie everyday first thing for a few months now and she’s lost quite a bit of weight. i’m not saying it’s a miracle potion but if it makes you shit that’s at least something. i make it differently to my mum, but it works well and doesn’t make you bloated (yay!).

the recipe:

- 150g frozen pineapple

- 100g cucumber

-50g celery

-25g kale

-around 5 mint leaves (optional)

-125ml apple juice (optional but does make it taste better and it’s still low calorie)

-250ml water

-1 scoop green nutrition powder (optional, i just put it in for the extra vitamins and shit)

this fits in one of the large nutribullet cups and comes to around 150-200 calories (depending on whether you include the optional ingredients)

seventh (??), i want to try to walk everyday but the weather is shit and sometimes it’s just too bad to go outside and physically go on a walk. however, one thing i do make sure of everyday is that i plank. i don’t really like doing at home workouts, plus the ceilings and walls in my house are paper thin so my family can hear everything, as much as i can hear everything they do as well. but planking, no noise :) i’ve been doing it on and off for years but i definitely recommend it’s something people get into just because once you can do it for a good amount of time the benefits are endless. your core, thighs, glutes, shoulders, back, chest. everything is working. i can plank for 5 mins and i do this before i go to bed. it’s a good distraction to listen to music in the background and for me i like to watch the timer on my phone. for some people that just reminds them of how much time they have left but it motivates me because i can see that time go down if you get me.

lastly, actual hygiene. i want to shower everyday and make sure i do my skincare so my skin doesn’t dry out too badly and my acne doesn’t flare up. when i restrict too much this is a huge issue for me and again, people notice and my parents are better now at picking things like this up because i have been enrolled in therapy for my ed before, so they have been told about all the behaviours and signs. anyway, i want to get more comfortable with showering because last month i way leaving it for WAY too long, just because i didn’t want to see my body. if i do it everyday even for 5 mins i’ll get more familiar and it’ll become a habit.

that’s what i want this month to be about i think. breaking bad habits and making new ones. i don’t want to purge anymore because tbh i don’t enjoy it, it makes me feel relieved afterwards but unless i’m really uncomfortable i hate doing it, it’s my last resort. i haven’t for months but i don’t want to self harm anymore. i have a job where i’m on show to the public and i don’t want to have to manage new cuts or scars anymore, it stresses me out and gives me very little release for the price i have to pay afterwards.

BUT, on a positive note i do want to eat over 1,000 calories each day. that will be an achievement and i want to get more comfortable with the idea that you can still lose weight on high restriction. i do want to get back into walking and enjoying it like i did in lockdown. i used to look forward to it but i began associating it with weight loss and that ruined it for me. i need to learn to enjoy it because it calms me down and it’s time on my own with nature, not just an excuse to burn calories even if it does come with that benefit. i do want to start running again even though i know that will be challenging due to how tired i am each day. hopefully with my sleep pattern getting better and with the vitamins that won’t be a problem in the near future. i want to read again, it’s such a great outlet.

I’m not ready to let go of my ed, i’m not ready to let go of the control i have right now. However, i’m doing my best to positively better myself as much as i can. this is how i’m doing it, this account is anonymous so don’t compare yourself. you don’t know my age, build, my lifestyle or my situation well enough to even begin to compare yourself. we all struggle, i am still struggling a lot. this whole post seems like i’m doing great but i still cry over 10g of peanut butter. i still get angry when i can’t stick to the plan. i still get nervous when food is mixed into any social situation. this month is about coping in the best way i can.

i really hope that from this someone can take something positive that will improve your quality of life no matter what stage you’re at and just to disclaim, i fully support and encourage recovery, i’m just not in it right now. this is not a pro account, it’s a place for me to vent without judgement.

have a good day :)

#tw ed content #disordered eating tw #tw ed stuff #tw eating things #eating disoder thoughts #restricted eating #eating disoder mention #eating disoder things

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austarus · 5 years ago

Text

Harry Wells x Reader Crisis of Infinite Wells (Part 2 of 5)

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. It belongs to @marry-me-harrywells

Word Count: 4144

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

You brushed your damp hair from any remaining knots, the remnants from the warm shower no longer lingering on your body. Taking in a breath, you smelled freshly of raspberry delight from your shampoo and conditioner combo. Nothing beats getting clean. Placing the hairbrush down, you braided your locks into a French Braid that Jesse had taught you to do. You sighed at the thought, turning to look at the picture frame that remained on your bedside counter. It was just last year that everything was ok. A shiver had gone down your spine.

The frame held a picture of you, Harry, and Jesse at a Christmas Gala back on Earth 2. Your fingers ran over the cool glass when you picked up the fame, taking a seat on your bed. Jesse and you had wide grins, thoroughly enjoying the night, while Harry had a small smile laced onto his face as he stood in between you both with an arm around you and her, a glint of light evident in his deep blue eyes. Harry and Jesse had been making progress on restoring his intelligence, something that Marlize DeVoe hadn’t done a great job of doing Jesse had commented. And much to the dismay of some of Jesse’s hero group, Jesse pushed forward with helping her father. Honestly, you knew Harry wasn’t just going to sit around and be an Average Joe. What was it that Cisco called them? Jesse and the Quicksters? Yeah, that sounds about right. You laughed to yourself a bit, remembering how Harry hated the name your friend had given Jesse and her group.

Vrr, vrr

Your phone vibrated, bringing you out of your thoughts. Lowering the picture frame into your lap, your fingers still danced over the glass pane. Picking up your phone, you saw a text notification from Cisco.

Ciscito: Hey, you still up? (10:45 PM)

You: Yeah, what’s up Vibe? (10:46 PM)

Ciscito: I think Chester and I made the necessary modifications needed to connect the Cerebral Inhibitor to the Mindscape machine. Schematics and diagnostics seem to be running smoothly, but without a test run we can’t be too sure. (10:48 PM)

Ciscito: Have you talked to Cecile? (10:49 PM)

You: Yeah, she said she’s free all of tomorrow, but if something were to come up she’d let me know. Also, I sorta got persuaded into babysitting Jenna next time Cecile and Joe need a date night, but that’s fine with me. (10:51 PM)

You: That’s why I’m going to have Harry and Sherloque, maybe even our salty German Wells be our fresh pairs of eyes for this. (10:54 PM) One wrong calculation and well…

Ciscito: Ugh, please don’t mention said Herr Wolfgang “stick-up-my-ass” Wells (10:55 PM)

Ciscito: You feeling ok? Need me to come over? (10:55 PM)

You: No, I don’t wanna steal you from Kamila. She’s going to need you with what she experienced in the Mirror Dimension. And Eva’s still on the loose. (10:55 PM)

Ciscito: But are you feeling ok? (10:55 PM)

You: Honestly, I’m scared Cisco. What if I’m wrong? What if all of this is wrong? Like I said I’m just a doctor, I don’t know if my thought process even works with the new rules of physics with this new timeline… What if I’m the reason that I don’t get to see Harry again? That we don’t get to see him and Jesse. (10:57 PM)

Ciscito: Hey! No! You listen to me, and you listen to me well. We’ve done this before. We didn’t think it was possible for multiple universes to even exist, but it did. Closing the breaches to trap Zoom, we figured it out with Harry. Nazis from Earth-X crashing the West-Allen Wedding suddenly happened, but then we saved the day with everyone. (10:59 PM)

Ciscito: Hell, we didn’t even know how to perform an exorcism until a couple of weeks ago! Scientifically might I add, despite all the things Cecile brought in. We Expecto Patronum-ed the shit out of Thawne. He’s just lurking around like the pissed off, red-eyed Voldemort that he is now. (11:00 PM)

Ciscito: My point is, have a little faith in yourself. If it’s anything that HR taught me, is that you don’t have to be a genius or a physicist to come up with a plan to save the ones you love. (11:00 PM)

Ciscito: Remember that. (11:01 PM)

You: Thank you Cisco, I really don’t know what I’d do without you. 11:01 PM)

Ciscito: Yeah, I mean, that’s why I’m here. All in a good day’s work, you know. Doing the Lord’s job, blessing others with my existence and advice. (11:02 PM)

You: Wow, Ciscito, I can practically feel the narcissism through the texts. (11:03 PM)

Ciscito: Is that what you still have me on your phone as? (11:04 PM)

You: You’ll never know~ (11:05 PM)

You: Goodnight Ciscito~! (11:05 PM)

Ciscito: Wait (11:06 PM)

Ciscito: No, this is serious! (11:06 PM)

Ciscito: CHANGE IT!! (11:06 PM)

***

With hurried footsteps, you entered into the Speed Lab seeing the Mindscape machine all set up with the Cerebral Inhibitor perched on a nearby table. Chester was working on creating some algorithms for Sally and the other STAR Labs Satellites while Cisco tinkered with the Neural Splicer. Nash was already in the room, hovering over them and messing with Cisco. The leather jacket you wore seemed to carry a bit more weight on your shoulders, you made a head nod at each of them. You peeled your jacket off, not being able to stand it against you anymore. Not really registering Chester’s chattering and enthusiasms to Cisco about opening up multiple dimensions and the endless possibilities of technological advancements that could come from such discovery, you took a seat on a mobile stool nearby. Running a hand through your hair, your brain rifled through your doubts. What if I end up frying Nash’s mind? A pang of hurt struck your chest because then not only would he be dead, but so would all the other Wells if your assumptions about due to their existence in his mindscape were correct consistent wavelengths. Their hypothetical blood would be on my hands.

Once Cisco had threatened Nash to leave him to work in peace, you approached the slyly grinning adventurer. “Hey, I just wanted to thank you.” You pocketed your hands in the back pockets of your jeans and gave him a small smile.

“For what?”

“I don’t know. I guess for taking a chance on me and coming back. Even if you didn’t know what was going on.”

Nash pursed his lips for a moment, shaking his head for a bit, “Oddly enough, I had a gut feeling that told me an adventure always comes with your Team’s calls.” A cheeky laugh left him. “You guys just always go out looking for trouble, huh.”

*Speak for yourself,* you deadpanned in your thoughts, but let him continue.

“Lucky for you all, I happened to be available, so why not pop in. If this does work, then…” The dark-haired Wells trailed off, looking over the Speed Lab, “Then you get your Wells back. But-”

“-But?-” You raised a suspicious eyebrow at him, crossing your arms.

“You owe me.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, little lady. You owe me and when the time is right,” he paused in thought, “I’ll cash that favor in.”

You scoffed and unfurled your arms, an incredulous look on your face, “What? Nash, you-”

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Cecile interrupted you, entering the labs with Baby Jenna in her stroller. You rolled your eyes at him, gesturing and mouthing that this conversation wasn’t over. Nash just smirked to himself. Heading over to Cecile, you gave her a hug. “Jenna gave me a bit of a tantrum getting dressed today.”

“No problem, thanks for doing this Cecile.”

“Always here whenever you guys need me.” The metahuman attorney gave Jenna a toy to stay preoccupied until this was over. Cecile turned back to you, a look that’s all too familiar crossing her face. “You couldn’t sleep.” You made a sheepish look before heading over to one of the computers, setting up the software to monitor physiological and psychological functions. Cecile followed close, reading you, “Or more like you didn’t want to sleep.”

You opened your mouth to speak only to be cut off by that motherly look she had on her face. Closing your mouth, you shut your eyes for a moment before reopening them, “I guess I was nervous. I mean, a lot’s at stake here, Cecile.”

“Uh -uh, what did I say about negative attitudes in my labs,” Cisco strode close, handing you the one MAD 2.0 after setting down the Neural Splicer. You stuck your tongue at him, “We want him back just as much as you, all of them, so don’t worry. We’re Team Flash. When have things not gone our way?” You and Cecile just made a face at him as he handed Cecile one MAD 2.0. “Actually, don’t answer that, anyway- Party people, let’s get a move on.”

You and Cecile put on the MAD 2.0’s meanwhile Cisco sedated Nash, who’s currently lying on a gurney and had the MAD 2.0 on already. Caitlin had told him the sedation would last a few hours, but would keep Nash’s body under normal cellular and molecular regulation. Making eye contact with Cecile, you nodded as if to say that you were ready. Your nerves spiked slightly in anticipation, the hairs at the back of your neck sticking up. She held a hand for you which you took, shutting your eyes in focus and allowing her to transport you into Nash’s mind.

***

Opening your eyes, you find Nash right in front of you before looking around. *I guess what you indulge in becomes your mindscape* you thought as your eyes scanned the cold-looking cave walls with lights hung up on them to illuminate the paths.

“Alright, I’ll be monitoring your vitals until Caitlin comes back, but in the meantime Cecile and I will be here in case anything happens,” Cisco voiced out to you and Nash, but you had stopped listening and pushed past Nash. But where? You had no clue, you just needed to start moving.

“Ah, hey-” Nash followed with quick steps until he was beside you. “Shouldn’t you be letting me lead the way? This *is* my mind and everything. I’d know it best.”

“Perhaps, but I didn’t see you moving. The one who’s supposedly quick on his feet as a multi-versal explorer.”

“Snarky, I can see why Harry would like you,” Nash let out a little laugh, his words making you grin slightly. “And it’s geological myth-busting, ah-thank-you-very-much.”

You pursed your lips for a moment and stopped, turning towards him, “Be honest with me Nash, do you think I’m being delusional about this?”

“Delusional? Never. Conflicted? Slightly. But hopeful,” he adjusted his jacket and started walking with you in toe, observing the caves and mentally remembering where he had last seen both Wells doppelgangers. “Even with that shred of doubt within you, I can see that you haven’t let it consume the hope you have left. Hope is important, it gives life meaning. How else would a physician such as yourself come up with a brilliantly thought-out plan?”

He glanced at you with a quirked-up eyebrow, sending you a witty smile that was oddly comforting. Maybe because he wore the face of the man you trusted the most. You smiled to yourself and looked on ahead. Hope, sounds something up Kara’s alley really. You both had passed by a couple of exits or cave-memory outlets actually.

“So, based off what Cisco told me when he exorcised Thawne out of you, each cave outlet has a memory of yours? Whether good or bad. And only you’d be able to get into it?”

“Give or take. Thawne apparently rifled through all my memories, so I’m less keen on having the others do the same.”

“Did you install a little battle droid or something, Solo?” You joked.

“Ha-ha, not exactly. And an adventurer never shares their secrets without getting something in return.”

“Touché, Nash. Touché.”

You two continued to walk for god knows how long (Cisco checked in to say that 35 minutes had passed since you’ve entered, and that Caitlin had finally returned) until voices reached your ears. Stopping in your tracks, you and Nash were currently on the top part of a slight rocky incline structure within his mind. He stopped beside you, squinting at the sight in front of him. From a good distance you can see a group of Wells, in an enclosed circle, heatedly discussing something with each other as insults and science-y words were thrown around. Very loudly, might you add. They were none-the-wiser about yours and Nash’s appearance. From afar, one wore a dark fedora and the other had platinum white hair while the remaining two had dark hair. One dark-haired Wells had their back facing you. Is… is that one wearing sunglasses inside a cave??? Your eyes widened as one of the voices distinctly made your heart jump: gruff, sarcastic, and full of irritation towards the other men.

“Oh my god,” fell out of your mouth in a shaky whisper, standing stunned in place. Your body refusing to even synthesize tears at this point.

At that same moment, Nash had turned his head towards you, reaching a hand out to stop you, “Ah, hey- (Y/N) don’t-” but you had already started running down the slight incline. Not too steep enough to pick up way too much speed, but good enough for you to keep running.

“Shit,” Nash cursed, yelling out to one of the Wells in the group that he can see clearly just as you had started running. “Sherlock!” Nash made his way down the incline albeit a bit slowly, gauging the forthcoming interaction with the group.

“Hm, its Sherloque,” Sherloque immediately perked up at the sound of the voice calling his name incorrectly, eyes easily spotting you in the dim-ish part of this mind-cave as you were closing in. “Uh, ’arry. ‘arry!”

“What?!”

“Incoming,” the detective quickly altered his doppelganger and pointed a finger behind him. “Incoming très vite!” The other two Wells turned as well with confused looks.

“What?” Those words left Harry’s mouth, turning his body around in one fluid motion only for your body to launch into his arms. Knocking the tall Earth 2 genius back a little, but not enough to have you both fall to the ground. Your arms wrapped around him tightly as your head buried itself in his chest.

Harry had stood there, the shock leaving his body after a second or so. His arms circling around you instantly, a soft expression crossing his face as his eyes shut. The dark-haired man breathed you in. Reopening his beautiful baby blues, he kissed the top of your head before you both pulled away slightly. A hand gently cupped your face while the other held onto your upper arm as if checking if you were an illusion or not. It always blew your mind to pieces and made your heart swell at the way he handled you. How his callous hands can manipulate machinery and tools, yet gently caress you as if you’re made of the most fragile material to ever exist on any earth.

“Hey,” he whispered in that gruff voice of his, eyes filled with such warmth at the sight of you. Your hands rested on his firm chest, a thumb rubbing the material of his black sweater. His thumb brushed your cheek, feeling the growing heat on your skin. Feeling you against him. It was weird. Your psyche self and his interacting like this in Nash’s mindscape, yet feeling utterly and impossibly real to the touch.

“Hi,” you responded with that silly star-struck grin never leaving your face, the heat on your cheeks growing. You might as well had heart eyes popping out of your face. You saw him check over you, seeing if the Crisis had done anything in any way to change you from what would have been something so familiar.

Sherloque had a small smile on his face at the reunion, Sonny had that wide smirk on his features before nudging the uptight German beside him. Said German only rolled his eyes slightly as he adjusted his glasses but knowing deep down that it’s nice to see someone else other than a Harrison Wells doppelganger. Wolfgang won’t admit it because it’s just not his style. Nash had stood a little back behind you, nodding at the three gentlemen as the couple in front of him literally forgot the existence of him and the other Wells men.

Sherloque cleared his throat, “Now is that anyway to say ‘ello to us, good doctor?”

You blinked snapping out of your trance with Harry, looking over to the rest. You and Harry broke apart from the hug with you doing a tiny excited wave, “Hey, sorry about that.” At the same time, Harry’s hand found yours and intertwined your fingers together.

“No problem, Doll,” Sonny responded in that Brooklyn accent of his. Harry raised an eyebrow at him.

Wolfgang was the last Wells you made friendly eye contact with, but you noticed something. “I like-” you gestured to the slight facial hair on his face, “-the goatee thing you’ve got going on . It suits you.”

“Danke,” Wolfgang’s cheeks were dusted a slight pink color. He played with his glasses a bit.

“Now what brings a beautiful dame like you to these dark depths?” Harry shot a glare at Sonny for the pet names, he mistakenly held your hand a bit tighter and it made your heart beat a bit louder. You only raised your eyebrows at this Wells as he had spoken to you. Sonny just shrugged to which Harry narrowed his eyes even more. Oh, if looks could kill.

“We-” Nash started, stepping close to stand beside you while Harry was on the other side, “-have a proposition.” You five now stood in an enclosed circle.

You gulped, licking your lips and criticizing yourself for getting too caught up in the moment when every second should be spent on your theory, “I think I found a way to bring you guys back.” The Wells men froze, their eyes lighting up for a fraction before glancing at one another. Sherloque nodded at you. “Each and every one of you.” You snuck a peek at Harry, who’s eyes met yours instantly.

“Vell,” Wolfgang was the first one to break the silence that had shifted, “let’s hear it. Bitte.”

***

You explained your theory to them about multi-dimensions, the equipment that would be used, and what Team Flash had been doing so far. You couldn’t help but glance at Harry and Sherloque, receiving encouraging nods and a proud smile. “I just wanted to run this down with you guys because rewriting the laws of physics seems to be your area of expertise.”

Each Wells had their minds working through the information you had just given them, the cogs in their brains already turning in order to isolate a critical factor that can ruin it all.

“It shouldn’t be as tricky as multiverse hopping, amiright?” Sonny joked.

You gave a sheepish smile at the cheery Wells. I can ironically see why they call him Sonny. “I-I know I’m just a doctor, and- Barry and the others said it makes sense. Chester and Cisco are working to manipulate the Cerebral Inhibitor to the Mindscape while adjust the Neural Splicer for the Cerebral Inhibitor in order to return your psyche’s back to your bodies.”

“Aber ein problem,” Wolfgang interjected, gesturing with a hand while he had an arm crossed across his chest. “How are you going to take into account zhe dimensional breaches? Has Team Flash found ein dimension to extract it’s properties in order to make a sufficient extrapolator?”

“No,” you draw out your answer, “but that’s where you all come in.” Sherloque’s eyes held that curious glint as you continued, “All the Wells will be the key-”

“To opening up dimensional breaches to Earth-Prime.” The Frenchman finished. You nodded, biting your lower lip.

“Recording each entrance and cataloging it for future use in case something else were to happen,” Nash interjected, adjusting a gloved hand. Why does he wear those all the time?

“And it’s up to us, all of us to crack this… dimensional code. To solve a new problem,” Harry added on. You turned to him, your thumb rubbing his hand.

“Harry, you figured out how to close the breaches. Without a doubt, I have faith that you and the others can open these dimensions. That all these Earths are just hidden somewhere tricky to make us lose sense and hope of finding the ones we love.”

“But- and excuse my English- there’s a fuck ton of Wells and Earths in here and out there. How would efficiently cataloging even work with that much information and coordinates, my friends?” Sonny brought up an excellent point. One you hadn’t thought about because honestly you didn’t think you were gonna get this far. You were essentially at a loss for words.

Wolfgang cleared his throat, raising a pointer finger, “Ja, vell, before zhis crisis had occurred I created a neural memory chip in vhich I vas able to register every Vells across the multiverse from our strange und large Council. Basically, downloading zhe information into my own memory as vell as my psyche. Vas not easy, but after some time it vas a success.”

“Wolfgang, that’s amazing.” You said, feeling that hope inside you swell up again and taking down the pesky doubt that had been gripping your heart these past couple days.

“Danke, schatz.” The German Wells mumbled the last part to himself, but Sonny and Nash heard him. “I believe zhat a Council meeting ist overdue.”

“I guess, I should leave that to you guys.” You shrug your shoulders a bit, sadly letting go of Harry’s hand.

“Nein, halt-”

“Non, (Y/N)-”

“Hold on, doll-”

“Babe-”

Your eyes widened in confusion at there protest. “What?” Nash only rolled his eyes, crossing his arms because he really didn’t want to attend a stupid Council meeting with all those “idiots”.

“The others are…” Harry pursed his lips and glanced off a bit before looking at you. He didn’t want to say it.

“Stubborn? Irritably hardheaded? Unnerving?” You suggested and crossed your arms at you. “Yeah, I know. I’ve dealt with like four Wells already.” Harry raised an eyebrow at you, but he knows that his flaws were something you’ve grown to love and accept of him. As you’ve told him before obviously.

“Zhe ozhers vill need convincing-”

“-yeah, they’ll actually sit down and listen to ya, doll. Instead of getting at each other’s throats like the last couple of times and having all hell break lose like an all out mafia brawl.”

With confusion laced on your face at this new information regarding the council meetings you can see why Nash hates attending them. Your eyes wondered at Sherloque who had remained quiet in thought then to Harry. Each exchanged looks before Harry spoke up, “I think what this idiot is trying to say is that it’s best for you to propose the idea.” You opened your mouth to say something, but Harry cut you off. “I will be right beside you. Sherloque, Wolfgang, and I have sorta… taken charge of the entire council.”

“Like the Roman Triumvirate?”

“Just without the power-grabbing, backstabbing, and domination.”

“What about Sonny?” You all looked at the Brooklyn-accented Wells.

“Yeah, I actually don’t know why he hangs around us.” Harry deadpanned to which Sonny pouted with an eye roll.

“Hey, I’m your guys faithful secretary and advice guru, basically your hype man.” You had not seen Harry roll his eyes so much and so hard at the New York Wells. It made you want to laugh so much had your situation not been filled with a serious tone. “So, what do you say, doll?”

“I-” Your eyes danced to each Wells, sighing and looking down for a moment before locking your gaze onto Harry. “I don’t want to make a fool of myself,” you whispered.

“You won’t. Babe, I’ve got you,” Harry took your hand in his larger one once again, “Just like you’ve been by my side before.”

“Sherloque?” Calling his name snapped him back to reality, but it did not mean he had not been listening to you.

“100% with you every step of the way, petit fleur.” He tipped his hat at you, a knowing small smile on his face.

“Alright,” you let out a breath and shrugged. Harry grinned widely, especially at the fact that you would be staying longer. “Lead the way.” What else do I have to lose?

French and German Used:

très vite – very fast

danke – thank you

danke, kleine frau – thank you, little lady

bitte – please

und – and

aber ein problem – but one problem

petit fleur – little flower

164 notes · View notes

blucmoon · 3 years ago

Photo

━ ☾ ⊹ ( im jaebum, cis male , he/him ) say hello to AE YONGGUK, the TWENTY SIX YEAR OLD that seems to have a lot in his hands with HIS job as a STALL OWNER, DRUMMER AND OCCASIONAL BARTENDER! beyond that, they seemed RESPONSIBLE AND TRUSTWORTHY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of EVASIVE AND INSECURE though. HE seems to live in a 4 BEDROOM HOUSE in YUNHWA, SOUTH KOREA. anything else to add? oh, yeah! he also RUNS A STALL CALLED “KODACHROME” WHERE HE TAKES PHOTOS FOR IDS, SELLS PRINTS AS WELL AS BOOKS SESSIONS FOR PHOTOSHOOTS.

basic information

full name: ae yongguk

nickname(s): guk, yonggu (hasn’t figured out why)

age: 25

date of birth: january 6th, 1995

birthplace: seoul, south korea.

hometown: yunhwa, south korea.

current location: yunhwa, south korea.

ethnicity: asian.

nationality: korean

gender: cismale

pronouns: he / him

orientation: demiromantic, bisexual.

occupation: stall owner and drummer of a band called “crux”. sometimes he helps at his aunt’s bar in busan for some extra money.

living arrangements: house #4012, hwesakgu.

language(s) spoken: korean, english (conversational)

physical appearance

faceclaim: got7’s im jaebum “jb”

hair color: like almost everyone, he has naturally brown hair but throughout the years he’s dyed it blonde or black a couple of times. right now, it’s black and he has managed to grow it to a length he really likes below his chin. yongguk can be usually seen with his hair down and every so often he puts it up in a half updo. whenever the band has a gig, he exerts a little more effort (even if most of the time it doesn’t pay off).

eye color: brown. (likes colored contacts every now and then)

height: 179 cm

weight: 66 kg

build: lean person, with a good muscular frame.

distinguishing characteristics: two beauty marks right next to each other on his left eyelid.

tattoos: has a full sleeve on his left arm from shoulder down to a little above his wrist and another one his right forearm.

piercings: lobe and upper lobe in both ears, anti-tragus on the left one, double helix on the right, anti-eyebrow and nose on the right side of the face (won’t ever use jewelry during the day though).

clothing style: while he’s working at the stall he has a more casual style consisting of jeans, cargos, pants, button downs, sweaters. likes layering with denim shirts, flannels, jackets, windbreakers over t-shirts, etc. mostly in earthy colors, dark reds and blues, white, gray and black. no matter what though, he will always wear long sleeves, even in the hottest summer days and never roll them up, going to these lengths just to not draw any unnecessary attention. (he’s even gotten a fair amount of rash guards for those occasions when he feels like going for a swim.)

at the bar or at gigs, he’s usually clad in all black or dark tones. sleeveless shirts or those with short sleeves are his go-to, not nearly as concerned to conceal the ink over his arms from the public eye at night. he likes to choose style and comfort when performing, thus splurging a little more on his nightly outfits rather than those he uses on the daily. leather and denim jackets, bombers, sometimes harnesses, jeans in either black or leather, boots, sneakers, muscle shirts, graphic t-shirts, shirts with the first buttons undone and rolled up sleeves in dark, rich colors. style varies from street fashion to grunge to rocker depending on how he feels.

health

sleeping habits: goes to sleep really late but has no trouble waking up early to go to to work, though for the first couple of hours he’s awake and if he has gotten 4-5 hours only, he’d be kind of silent and unresponsive until getting that first cup of coffee. will likely nap before his shift at the bar only for an hour and a half tops.

eating habits: eats 3 - 4 times a day and gets easily hungry between meals. often seen snacking whatever he can.

exercise habits: doesn’t really exercise much constantly, but on the weekends he likes hiking or running around town.

emotional stability: 6/10

body temperature: average

addictions: none

drug use: experimentally a couple of times, hasn’t done it in a while.

alcohol use: socially, medium-high tolerance.

personality

label: the opaque (unable to be figured out; hiding behind a façade; not transparent.)

positive traits: reliable, responsible, hard-working, trustworthy, loyal, thoughtful, generous, creative, passionate, artistic, caring, considerate, devoted.

negative traits: defensive, evasive, cautious, indecisive, defiant, self-doubt, fluctuating self-esteem, conflict-averse, private, self-conscious, sensitive, unpredictable.

hobbies: starting songs he never finishes, watching the same show every year (avatar the last airbender) as well as his comfort movies, cloud/star gazing, jigsaw puzzles, origami, video games, playing guitar sometimes.

habits: knuckle cracking, muttering under his breath, snacking between meals, rubbing hands together, jaw clenching, gesturing while talking, rubbing the back of his neck, running hands through hair, drumming fingers, sings along to songs and sings gibberish for the parts he doesn’t know, doodles on any paper at reach, dozes off when bored/daydreams, bobs his leg while sitting.

zodiac sign: sun capricorn, moon pisces, rising scorpio (read as: impending disaster)

mbti: infp

enneagram: 6w5

temperament: melancholic

hogwarts house: ravenclaw

moral alignment: chaotic good

primary vice: wrath

primary virtue: diligence

element: water

expanded personality

yongguk has a strong tendency to appear quiet and reserved and it might come off as standoffish or easily confused with snoberish, which makes it worse when he doesn’t go out of his way to change this preconception about him. he needs a great deal of personal space, both physically and mentally, and any attempt to control him or forcibly schedule his activities will only strengthen his need for time alone.

he’s responsible, trustworthy and hardworking. relies heavily on his intuition to guide him and knows how to patiently wait as well as how to adapt to any circumstances. in yunhwa, he’s been forced to learn how to interact with the townsfolk and through the years he’s mastered the front he puts on in order to remain below the radar and not get any unnecessary attention; polite, helpful, sometimes even considered as a sweet guy, yongguk has no problem lending a hand to anyone that needs it.

however, in busan, his adaptability is also handy when it comes to dealing with customers. at the same time, it’s in these moments when he feels a little less restrained and allows himself to be less calculative: flirty, playful, sometimes misleading… he’s gotten in several problems because of this and yet he has no plans to stop it anytime soon.

yongguk is a little insecure and with a fluctuating self-esteem: sometimes he’s very well aware and confident on his skills and assets, but other times he will second-guess everything about himself. this combined with an strong fear of failure that stems from poor past decisions, makes him hesitate when it comes to making important calls that could potentially affect his future, but he knows how to play it off… most of the times.

despite appearing simple at a glance, yongguk is more than what meets the eye. friendly but private, polite but passionate about his beliefs, calm and sometimes expressionless. it’s not that he doesn’t have feelings - he actually runs quite deep and strong - it’s just that he conceals them under a mask of politeness because he’s unsure how to deal with them; he’s restrained when it comes to conveying emotion, but has a very deep care for his peers. might be awkward and uncomfortable with expressing himself verbally, but has a wonderful ability to define and reveal what he’s feeling on paper.

yongguk is genuinely interested in understanding others, a good listener, but will exclusively share his sorrows and woes only with the friends he trusts the most, unafraid to display his best and worst with them. his natural intuition allows him to sense the mood without the need of words. however, he can be quite impressionable and be easily influenced by the moods of others, which may often lead him to feel overwhelmed because of this.

incredibly curious, yongguk loves to explore with his hands and his eyes, touching and examining the world around him with cool rationalism and spirited curiosity. he explores ideas through creating, troubleshooting, trial and error and first-hand experience. yongguk can be a challenge to predict, even by the closest people to him. can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but he has a tendency to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking his interests in bold, new directions.

with a good memory, he can recall experiences from the past down to smallest details. this is both good and bad: remembering the good memories is a way to ease himself when in stressful or sad situations, but he’s also prone to dwell on previous mistakes and regret them for a long time.

he’s not consistently angry. will either let the anger build up and release it all at once in an outburst or let it out slowly through small, critical remarks throughout the day. sometimes, both. he’s very difficult when annoyed, but it usually doesn’t last that long. a perfectionistic through and through, his main source of anger usually comes from things not being up to their standards. not good at sparing others’ feelings when he does become irritable. doesn’t like conflict and will go to great lengths to avoid it. in those occasions where he does have to face it, he will approach it from his feelings and mistakenly place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. yongguk will react to the emotions he’s going through and won’t care whether or not he’s right, which makes him appear irrational and illogic.

background (tldr)

his parents work in the field with doctors without borders.

yongguk was born in seoul and lived there for six years before his parents sent him to yunhwa to stay with his grandparents while they went abroad.

seven years passed, his parents would rarely contact them, much less visit them.

in the meantime, his grandma taught him how to play many instruments, being a musician herself and he was enrolled in kwangsook academy.

at thirteen they returned and guk moved with them back to seoul. around this time he became more reserved and quiet, the conversation always focused on his parents achievements and interests.

he made it his goal to become a doctor in hopes of having something in common with them. it was a way to seek their attention and approval.

a year later, a new plan was announced and yongguk was back in yunhwa with his grandparents. he was actually pretty happy about this.

started taking his studies seriously in his junior year of high school, going to the extent of dropping music and every other altogether.

he successfully managed to get into pusan national university, school medicine.

however, the whole experience was something he wasn’t ready for at all. for a year and half he struggled to keep up with his classmates and was utterly ashamed to compare his simple goal of wanting to get closer to his parents to the drive of everyone else.

he drops out after talking with his grandfather, a successful doctor himself.

initially excited to get the chance of truly discovering what he wanted to do, a single call from his father deterred his enthusiasm. he was supposed to return to yunhwa, instead he decided to move in with a friend and stay in busan… where everything goes downhill.

at only twenty and under the fake pretense that he’d get his act together, he allows himself to make mistakes and act recklessly, secretly wishing that’d be enough to get his parents attention.

he found temporary jobs all around busan and never lasted too long, but he still made money and that’s the only thing he really cared about at the moment. things aren’t great, but they aren’t that bad, or so he tells himself.

at twenty one, he gets a full sleeve on his left arm as well as many piercings. a couple of weeks after this, his grandparents decided to pay him a surprise visit and the state of his apartment as well as life… is not optimal.

coincidence or not, his parents video called them at that moment. it was the first time he heard from them in a year, and it was the last time as well.

seems like only his appearance was enough to finally trigger some sort of emotion from his father, but it wasn’t really the kind he was looking for. it was anger and he could clearly see the disappointment in his eyes. a heated argument ensues, one that ends with “you’re not our son anymore.”

perhaps it came a little too late, but it was the much needed wake up call to get his act together. not in order to mend the relationship with his parents, he knew that’d be impossible. but more so, for himself.

he perks up at a suggestion from his grandmother, one that was about a long forgotten hobby of his: photography. he remembers an old shoe box filled with polaroids and undeveloped films under his bed.

thus, he stays in busan after enrolling in a community college for a year-long photography class. around this time, one of his aunts offered him a job as a bartender in her bar and since then he’s been helping her every now and then. he says it’s for extra money, but in reality is a way to repay her from hiring him when no one else would.

after he was done with his course and had saved enough money to get a decent camera, he decided it was time to go back to yunhwa.

he returned three years ago. luckily, his reputation there remained intact and he wanted it to stay that way thus hiding the ink on his skin with long sleeves and removing the jewelry whenever he was outside.

yongguk moved back with his grandparents, this time to help them out and take care of his grandmother who started to get a little ill. he picked up playing and making music after finding his long abandoned drum set in the garage.

with the help of his grandfather, he opened his very own stall called “kodachrome” where he takes photos for ids, sells prints of his own work (mostly of yunhwa’s scenery) as well as books sessions for photoshoots.

a year and half ago, however, he had to find a new place. his grandparents decided to retire and move to jeju. thankfully, he managed to get a deal to rent a house from one of his grandma’s friends. the house was a little too big thus he decided to post an ad online looking for roommates to share the space and ease the expenses.

in the present, yongguk is still running his stall and getting contacted every blue moon by small influencers and event planners looking for his services. three nights a week, he goes back to busan to work for his aunt at the bar and every other night he has gigs with a band, which was randomly created after having far too many drinks with his roommates.

background (full)

tw: mentions of needles, tattoos, substances but nothing too graphic.

ae yongguk was the name given to you and and your endearing smiles as well as adorable dimples seemed to be more than enough to have everyone coddling and cosseting you from the get-go. nonetheless, permanency was never on your parents’ agenda. by the time you turned six, they moved away and you were shoved into your grandparents’ household in yunhwa.

it’s difficult to comprehend the sudden change, being told that you’d be living with them for some time. how much? they don’t specify, but the next thing you know is that you’re wordlessly bidding goodbye to your parents, who promised to write and come back for you soon. they didn’t. being part of doctors without borders and making it their goal to offer medical aid where it’s needed most, they put their humanitarian labor before parenthood.

the first letter you got arrived eight months after they left. there’s disappointment and there’s also heartbreak, but they don’t last long. you don’t allow them to regardless of your young age. instead, you focus on how your grandfather, despite having severe and strict ways, squeezed your shoulder and offered the small smile that you know all too well now. or how your grandmother, a renowned musician, didn’t hesitate to shower you in unconditional love. your education didn’t cease and your grandfather immediately enrolled you at kwangsook academy.

one of your most prominent traits is how transparent you are with your emotions and your grandmother easily learnt to read this. it was no surprise that the first time you saw her playing a beautiful song on her baby grand and your irises sparkled with curiosity, she immediately beckoned you closer. “hi, my love.” the elderly woman greeted while shifting a little so you could take a seat beside her. you meet her eyes and you wonder if she’s looking for anything by the time an easy smile appears on her face. “do you like music?” you’re unable to respond, but she must’ve seen something because, after that, she started teaching you the basics of piano. a couple of days later, she asked again and this time around, the answer naturally slipped out of your mouth: i love it.

for your regular classes, you were constant and responsible. sure, you enjoyed learning, but your interest wasn’t inherently there. it was just something you had to do. however, when it came to that newfound love for music of yours, you were the one with the initiative to ask for more lessons and practice whenever you had free time; first the piano, later the guitar and a couple of years later you made the stubborn decision to learn the drums.

it was nice staying in yunhwa, it brought you a comforting sense of belonging. it was the beginning of finding your own voice; discovering your likes and dislikes, some of your talents and even the chance of making friends. however, there was always a lingering question in the back of your mind and a deep sadness you rarely showed: when are my parents coming back?

they do, but only for a short period of time.

you had only turned thirteen, but the moment you saw them you were but an excited kid, joyously yelling and running to hug them, but they greeted you rather… frivolously. you try to ignore the breach between you and them, which you felt the most when you were holding your mother’s hand; her skin a couple of degrees colder than your grandma’s. they ask how you were doing and, in your frenzy, you start talking about everything that’s happened all this time only to be interrupted; the voice you were starting to grow inevitably drowned in the sea of their own achievements and stories.

it’s then that they tell you they’d move to seoul and you’re to go with them. apparently, with the intention to settle down and give it a go to having a normal family. you say goodbye to your grandparents, and unlike your mom and dad, the promises of staying in touch with them are real.

you were silent and reserved around your parents. you had to after learning that no matter what you tried to tell them, the conversation always ended being about what interested them. for a while you pretended to be okay with it, but soon you started wishing they paid as much attention to you as they did to their cause. it made you think that, by immersing yourself in that world, you might be able to keep them interested long enough or make them proud, and your very own obsession to become a doctor started right there. simple questions that had your parents perk up are what made you believe that your plan isn’t too far fetched.

luckily, you were able to retreat to your music whenever everything became too overwhelming, but even this wasn’t enough to stop an ever growing beast called dissatisfaction from making your chest its home. it increases in size and sometimes it’s so big that you’re unable to keep it in your ribcage, coming to light with rebellious little acts such as not doing your homework or bluntly strumming your guitar late at night. eventually, unspoken words and jumbled thoughts find their way into old notebooks full of an amateur’s unfinished songs.

it’s exactly a year later that they announced their new plans of moving to the other side of the world, plans that didn’t take you into consideration at all. it was disappointing, but not really surprising. still, you were able to comprehend the nature of their jobs, after all they were brilliant doctors and only a handful were willing to offer the assistance your parents did. you stop expecting things to change after the farewells you exchanged with them. you wished them the best and truly meant it.

going back to yunhwa at fourteen is something you anticipate; your grandmother welcomed you with your favorite food and your grandfather with a blank notebook. “for your songs, son” he said with that smile of his, learning about this new hobby of yours from one of the many mails you sent them. both were happy about your return and helped you pick up your studies where you last left them.

it’s in your junior year at high school when you truly get serious about your studies, medical school was your single goal. even though you’ve come to terms with the relationship you had with your parents, a hopeful part of you genuinely believed that becoming a doctor would help breach the distance.

and so you do, dropping music altogether and every other hobby that “needlessly” consumed your time and energy. it was admittedly exhausting and you were obviously miserable without playing any instrument. the sleepless nights and the isolation you brought upon yourself paid off the moment you received the news of your acceptance at pusan national university. that very night, you got a call from your parents congratulating you.

for the next year and a half, however, things prove to be extremely challenging when you find yourself amongst thousands of students whose drive and ambition is stronger than simply wanting to get close to their parents. it’s shameful, you admit and the constant pressure as well as the competitive environment soon takes a toll on you, but it was much needed for you to start questioning everything; yourself, your goals and if it was really what you wanted.

the person who helps you to fully come to this realisation is none other than your grandfather, another renowned doctor in your family. it’s shocking to hear him encouraging you to drop out and follow your dreams. truth is you were far too concerned chasing after a hopeless goal than to craft ambitions and dreams for yourself. still, you follow his advice even when you are completely at loss about what the next step would be.

if news of your acceptance travelled fast, so did the news of your departure. you got a call shortly after and all you heard was “we’re very disappointed” followed by radio silence before your father hung up. you were nineteen, about to turn twenty, when they last talked to you.

their silence becomes one of your many excuses to make mistakes and act recklessly; if your good behaviour and your previous little act didn’t catch their attention, this surely will. it’s your shield against the disapproval in your grandfather’s eyes, and that very shield is what stops him from stopping you. even when you told him you wouldn’t return to yunhwa, instead moving to one of your friend’s apartment in the heart of busan.

it’s amusing how easily your grandfather believes your fake promises of trying to get your life together and you feel awful for being such a good liar. you find decent jobs, but never stay too long. unnecessary fights with customers or blatant irresponsibility are the main reasons that force you to find a new one every couple of weeks. you’ve been many things: a busser, a server, even a mascot. you didn’t mind much as long as you were paid.

you willingly dive into a void filled with indulgence and bad decisions. all in order to not think, to not dwell on the future. you used every situation you could possibly get yourself into as a distractor from the painful reality. you were lost, so utterly lost.

twenty one comes around and you decide that, for the first time ever, you’re going to gift yourself something. a permanent work of art, its canvas your skin.

three monthly salaries were spent on black and red ink which reminded you of your favorite place. the needle pierces your skin once, twice, hundred times until your arm is almost fully covered… maybe it was a metaphor, a feeble attempt to display something bright and wonderful on someone who otherwise had long lost every trace of that. it was not enough and a couple of piercings follow in trying to beautify the sheer mess you’ve made of yourself.

some nights you question your own strength and sanity. you used to be pristine, someone to be proud of and an exemplary resident of the town you fondly call home. you were constant, had talent and a midas touch that turned meaningless words into beautiful songs, scribbles onto paper into melodies that had every listener humming along.

what happened to you, boy? says a voice in your head… or is it from your chest? is it the dissatisfaction you’ve tried to keep locked for years? all it took was to be called a disappointment once for you to willingly become one?

it consumes you and every passing day it becomes louder, but you’re stubborn and simply take it as a challenge to find new ways to drown it. headachingly loud music, poisonous substances, liquid trust or the ecstasy under someone’s fingertips… the city swallows you whole and provides you with momentary sweet oblivion but… is the aftermath of impeding remorse worth it? it is, you convince yourself while running back into it’s arms night after night.

one day, without warning, three knocks come onto your door and when you’re about to curse whoever disrupted your game, you’re met with your grandparents. your appearance is deplorable; bloodshot eyes, greasy hair and alarming signs of lack of proper sleep. it hurt to see your grandmother, as crystal clear as you wear, worried and at loss of words. a thing the city taught you was to be a pretender and so you ignore every sign of concern in their faces while smiling at them. “long time no see!” you say cheerfully.

it’s a quiet visit. they don’t know what to tell you or where to start, and neither do you feel a need to fill the awkward silence when your grandfather’s phone went off. he answers without thinking to a videocall and the voice that greets him has you freezing on your spot. father. your face falls and your eyes widen in obvious panic when he asks about you. the older man in the room seems to be equally as frantic as you when he glances at you, taking in how you look before your father speaks again.

“oh, is yongguk there? let me talk to him.” his authoritative tone was enough to have your grandfather turning the phone towards you. it’s late, far too late to fix yourself or even try to hide the glaringly bright red ink on your arm. so, in your frenzy, you decide to play cynical. what else could you lose, right? “hey, dad.” you greet with a shameless smile upon your lips. “your timing is as impeccable as ever.”

the argument that ensues forces you to retreat to your room and you thank whatever universal force that your roommate decided to have a weekend-long trip. it’s a heated fight, and you realize midway through that this is the longest conversation you’ve ever had with your father. why is it that the most display of emotion you get from him is when you don’t follow his ridiculous standards? he gets louder, so do you and it escalates to irreversible words. the last thing he says is “you’re not our son anymore” followed by silence.

then you laugh.

you laugh over the irony of an absent father saying such a thing. you laugh because you don’t want to allow him see you hurting. you laugh at how fucked up the whole situation is. “doesn’t make a difference, does it?” you say between unabashed chuckles. “not like you ever acted like a father, anyway.” and you hang up, your legs giving in and only then did you notice that your whole body had been shaking this whole time.

you muffle a scream on a pillow while feeling so alone and like the butt of the cruelest joke. you want to hate your father and your mother. you want to despise them for their horrible behavior. instead, you find yourself crying like an abandoned kid wanting, yearning for the love that wasn’t given to him. you want to run, to disappear, to hide where no one can find you.

then, two arms wraps around you and even though your grandmother is a little smaller than you, you find yourself feeling protected under her embrace. shortly after comes a pat on your head from your grandfather. you look up at those brown eyes full of wisdom and, when he tells you “everything will be okay, son.” you wholeheartedly believe him

because, a year later, things started looking up.

#INFO.TXT #YONGGUK.EXE #LOC.YUNHWA

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