#next step if this doesnt work is call an actual professional which my mom has been telling me to do since sunday lol

[crosswordgf]

tiger balm save me

[spellcastersjudgement]

Jaden nd bastion for that domestic ask thing? >:3c

THE OTP YES i have so many feelings and everyone needs to hear me sob over the nerd baby and his superhero 

also that icon is the content i look for on this hellsite well done 

who is the big spoon/little spoon Jaden is the little spoon!! he prefers being the big spoon tbh he likes curling up against bastions fuckin ripped back but jaden always falls asleep first because he has to get this twelve hours or else he will be a grumpy boy but bastion?? bastion stays up all night drinking coffee and doing god knows what bc he’s the type of guy thats like ‘hey jaden im gonna go read a bit before i got to bed’ and then he fuckin stays up all night because he has no self control lmao so when it’s like 3am and he’s finally put down his book or finished dicking around on the computer he finally gets in bed and he doesnt want to wake up his husband (yes theyre married in my mind ok im love them) so he just lays down and pulls the human kuriboh to his chest and falls asleep 

what is their favorite non-sexual activity the standard answer is Card Games but besides dool masters they like to go on drives and look at stars and talk abt whatever. bastion is a chemical engineer and jaden’s his professional duelist trophy husband so they dont get to be together as much as they want bc jaden’s tournament schedule so when they’re together they gotta make it count u know so bastion will pick jaden up from the airport and they’ll just start driving out of the city talking about DM or what bastion’s been up to or whatever’s going through jaden’s mind (an enigma lmao) and then when there are no more streetlights to make it difficult to see the stars they’ll pull over and lay on the hood and cuddle and keep talking. it’s like 4am before they finally go home and since they’re going to sleep at the same time jaden finally gets his chance to be the big spoon 

who uses all the hot water in the morning getting jaden to shower is a fucking struggle he’s like a cat. living in the slifer dorm made him accustomed to being a generally gross person in general so he lives off dry shampoo and body spray so he doesn’t smell like hassleberry after a workout so that leaves bastion to take all of the water because he showers every morning after his run and insists on h is hair being perfect and well taken care of. like the guy has at least five different hair care products in the shower at all times while jaden, even though he’s dumb thick rich, buys that 3-in-1 crap he and syrus used to make stretch for a month back in college. jaden is also known to stick his kuriboh hair under the sink and shake it out like a dog because he is a gross boy that usually gets up about ten minutes before he has to leave so there’s no time for an actual shower and we’ve gotten away from the actual question but the tldr is bastion stands under the hot water he’s got one of those mirrors to shave in the shower while he’s doing his deep conditioning treatment and has a pore strip on his nose for beautiful ™ skin 

what they order from take out this one ties in a lot to my sageshipping BrOTP headcanons (on god there needs to be a brotp ask so i can scream to the world my love for bastion/alexis friendship) but the bit of background is that bastion and alexis would always order from this indian place that was open real late at night when they were in grad school together (no delivery at duel academy cause its an island u know) so it has a special place in his heart. jaden is a wimp when it comes to spice but since bastion loves it they order it anyway and the people that deliver the food know to make it wimpy baby spicy for jaden so he doesn’t end up sweating half his body weight up and crapping out lava four hours later 

what is the most trivial thing they fight over oh god they dont fight a lot because they love and appreciate each other’s eccentricities but if they’re going to fight its going to be over who’s doing the driving. they both love cars, bastion likes taking it apart and modifying them and whatnot and jaden likes the aesthetique (though his aesthetique is painting flames on a corolla jaden u lil shit smh) and they both like to go fast so when they go out they bitch abt who gets to drive. bastion tells jaden he doesnt appreciate the feel of the machine and jaden says bastion drives like a fucking old man so they end up settling the matter with rousing game of rock paper scissors 

who does most of the cleaning NEITHER OH MY GOD theyre both total slobs. bastion’s desk and home office is covered in his notebooks and duel monster cards, his walls covered with god knows what (formulas, dates, to-do lists, grocery lists) the guy just grabs the sharpie and starts writing because he’s afraid of forgetting something if he doesnt get it down right then. jaden lives in filth he has three day old bowls of cereal at his desk and uses used napkins as tissues he is certifiably NASTY. anyway they hire a housekeeper to make sure the entire house doesnt fall into disarray and she’s like their surrogate mother making sure they eat more than takeout and coffee and making sure the house smells nice. they call her Mama Cheryl (good middle aged mom name) and she’s the embarrassing mom at jadens local tournaments the kind that prints out huge pictures of his face and wears shirts with Neos on them and cheers for her boy v loudly. again we’re away from the question but i have a lot of headcanons abt this i’ll probs put in my dissertation lol 

what has a season pass in their DVR hmmm this is an interesting one…i like to think jaden loves crime shows because they’re heroes and he likes watching the good guys ™ win in the end. his favorite show is psych (which u all should watch its hilarious) but since that ended a while ago he’s been in to criminal minds and SVU because he likes watching the really diabolical criminals get caught. bastion never knew his mans was into such dark stuff until he opened the season pass thingy and got quite the heart attack because he thought jaden was all butterflies and flowers and funny stuff but bastion had to learn the duality of man the hard way. bastion doesn’t watch television that much but his guilty pleasure is vikings on the history channel and stuff on the discovery channel because he loves learning what a nerd 

who controls the netflix queue jaden is the one that likes to watch netflix the most but i wouldnt say he’s in control per se. they’re usually down for watching what each other likes but in the end jaden will sometimes end up superseding bastion because dammit bas we are not watching a documentary about the dead sea scrolls you dont even believe in god and bastions like fine youre cute we can watch Castle (even though thats not on netflix but i wish it were) 

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working jaden. jaden all the way. bastion brings up a a wikihow article about how to fix the hvac system and he’s like I CAN FIX THIS and jadens like ily babe but you work with chemicals not with this kind of thing ur gonna break it like the time u tried to fix the sink and fuckin clogged the shit out of it we are calling Cheryl and Cheryl’s like jaden im a housekeeper call someone who actually does this for a living. anyway while theyre waiting for the professionals to get there bastion tries to demonstrate he knows what he’s doing he is smort by writing the steps and shit on the wall and jadens like youre so cute but no dont touch the heating system. he has to distract his lil nerd by asking him about what deck he should use for his next tournament or what the probability of drawing three polymerizations on the first turn is and bastion loves talking about math so jaden keeps asking questions until the system is fixed (he doesnt remember much of bastions mathematical explanations but bastion looks so cute with his eyes all bright and shiny talking about statistics) 

who leaves their stuff around BOTH they are slobs. jadens a bit worse if we’re being honest because while bastion leaves his papers and cards around schmaden schmuki leaves his underwear and food and cups in the living room and is prone to stripping off his clothes for one reason or another and just laying on the couch watching ESPN with his goddamn pants on the floor and saying they were constricting his knees or some shit when bastion asks why he feels the need to be half naked all the time. bastion had his own room in college so he doesnt quite understand why jadens comfortable just answering the door with a trail of clothing behind him because most people that dont know him assume he’s been getting bizzay but nah he just be Like That

who remembers to buy the milk jaden do because he drinks milk in his coffee. bastion drinks it black so if theres no milk its like eh whatever but jaden is a mess without his caffeine and he hates how bitter and gross it is when theres no milk in it so even if jaden’s not the one going to the grocery store he’ll write it on the wall so bastion will remember it because his mans dont check his texts that often but anything on that wall he fuckin remembers and jaden doesnt understand why he be Like That 

who remembers anniversaries both! they are dumb thick in love with each other and they like to plan little things to do for the anniversary of their first date, when they made it official, their wedding, etc. jaden is much more extravagant and will do something like jump on the bed until bastion wakes up and then drag him out for breakfast and get atticus to sing a really off-key renditions of classic love songs and bastion blushes so hard and its so cute it should be criminal lmao. bastion will get jaden a cute little gift like one of those pictures where the artist takes a photo and paints it so they can hang it on their wall. or bastion will fine tune his duel disk or get him a new card for his deck. they are in big gay love and i love them so much 

thanks for this ask on god i just wrote 1800 words of tutorship feels i have a problem lol 

[scripttraumasurvivors]

what if a character escapes their trauma but doesnt get prof. help (reason can vary) and recovers thru other means (social support from peers, or for ex. if they turned to addiction to cope then they tackle that)? obviously the recovery wouldnt be as great/fast right? but the goal is to be as functional as possible and have support/management for the rest.. and it would seem realistic to have a 'no this isnt working' moment later but what im asking is if this is a *Thing* that happens/can happen

Uhm…. to be honest right now this question isn’t… super comprehensible, I have a strong feeling it is that way because you tried to fit it in one ask. If it comes up again?

Send two. Because if I have to spend extra time just trying to understand your ask… I’m going to typically skip on to the next one while I have so many.

I am going to answer what I think is being asked which is 1) Even though it might be more difficult, recovery without a professional is possible, right? 2) Should it have a ‘wait this isn’t working’ moment.

And actually- let me be honest with you-

Professional help isn’t always better than social support.

There are things that swing it in both areas.

1) Does social support anyone who has.. ‘insider knowledge.’   And they might have gained that through a number of places. Different places have trauma training even if it isn’t -called- trauma training.

I have met more trauma informed religious practitioners in my area than I have therapists who didn’t ask me shitty questions. And I’m not sure if this is a universal thing- I highly suspect it isn’t. But something about where I am at in the united states, the churches around here decided to step up and be therapy groups basically. They don’t call them therapy groups. They call them grief groups. They call them support groups for those who are struggling with temptation. They call them support groups for those whose loved ones are far away. Probably one church in the area started it and the others followed suit- but it is,… pretty common around here for most of the churches (…. and there are a lot of them. I live in what is called the Bible Belt and there are more churches close to me than there are -stores-) to have support groups most of the week. And most of them seem to have cobbled together trauma training and compassionate listening skills. 

Some people, for whatever reason, are just… born with a better grasp on emotional support. Sometimes this is then fostered and they are very good at this kind of thing. 

Some people, for whatever reasons, are really great at problem solving without stomping on everyone’s toes. They too would be good for trauma support- at least, certain aspects of it.

Someone who has dealt well with another person’s trauma might be able to help better.

Someone who has gone through trauma of their own and has found peace, or at least ways to make life less hellish for a bit.

They may have had had a grandmother or father or aunt/uncle who is particularly good at helping in an emotional crisis and picked up those tools.

They might have picked them up during a mediation course in school.

Or from scouts. Or from any number of programs that just… sometimes happens to do a good job.

I mean- justify it. Find good reasons and establish it why your supporting characters are good (and all of these things can come with their own drawbacks too) I once had a character who was the eldest brother of seven, who had basically… carried the family when mom ended up with postpartum. Who’d done group therapy as a child.

He was very good at helping. But everything he did? Was basically him treating the other character the same way he treated some of his younger siblings. and you see him on page waffling with that. Trying to figure out how not to look patronizing but also ‘uh yeah, ya want me to pack you a lunch because if not you might not eat???’

A religious character might have to navigate how to use comforting words with someone of a different faith. Or they might forget and fuck up and just use the words they usually use and … fail to help because those are very specific to their religion.

2) Sometimes professional therapists -suck-

I’m going to get personal right now. A list of reasons my personal therapists sucked:

-I’m not straight and two different ones decided I was not straight because I was raped. One of them specifically suggested multiple times that she would not consider me well until I had sex again.

-One of them believed evil spirits were attacking me and I needed to weave in order to build a better protective circle around myself.

-One of them, despite the fact that when I drop beneath a certain weight again my brain starts screeching ‘YOU’RE GOING TO BE TRAUMATIZED AGAIN.’ Kept insisting I needed to lose weight without being willing to do with me the work needed for me not to… yeah. panic.

-Another one of them was so determined mindfulness was the only course despite me saying ‘doing it makes me feel suicidal and out of control.’

-Another one of them fired me because I came in slightly hungover the day after a traumaversary. They were the one who had insisted I come in that day, knowing I was an addict. To make me hate them more, this included them saying it was ‘disrespectful’ of me and them kicking me out pretty much less than five minutes after I uttered the words ‘I want to kill myself right now’ with not so much as a ‘go to the hospital.’

Being a professional doesn’t stop professionals from having biases. It’s only pretty recently in the history of psychology that trauma patient treatment wasn’t just ‘treat them like animals and drug them up and keep them away from eyes’ and ‘make them bleed, vomit, and piss themselves because then they’ll be better.’

As for your other question.

That’s reasonable no matter what. In fact, it reads really unreasonable in any long form piece for there not to be draw backs. (I say long form because if you’re writing 3k.. obviously there’s a different expectation of how many scenes you show.)

Hopefully that helps, 

TS