#next month should be better. but thats a full month away

[spamton]

trans guy in financial trouble

[sep 23rd 2024] I hate asking for money. I really, really do, but I had to get new glasses (which came out to way more than I would have liked) and I still need over £230 for bills this month. I am so behind on my bills that I might risk homelessness again, which I truly would rather not.

I'm looking at £350 altogether to get expenses sorted.

p-pal here + ko-fi here

[jyoongim]

Hiii

Alastor X human!reader where she is desperate to make a deal for fame and glory.

She tries to summon a demon, accidentally conjuring Alastor. Beside her feisty facade she’s quite innocent and naive. He’s intrigued by her and toys with her, like a prey,tricking her into him, she signs the deal. He’ll come back after 1yr to collect his pretty little prize…her body and soul. 🌶️🔥

Title: A Price to Pay

part 2

You frowned at the check your boss had handed you.

Too little. You looked at your boss, a nervous smile on your lips as a laugh bubbled out of your throat ��haha this is half of what i should be getting. That’s funny, where's the rest? Am i getting that in cash or some?” Your boss laughed “HA! No thats what you’re getting for the week‘

Your eyes damn near popped out of your head.

 For the week?

This was your pay for the entire week?

Oh hell no!

You poked a finger into the mans chest “What?! The whole week? I’ve been singing my ass off in this shit hole for two weeks! Where are my commissions?” You were angry! 

He gave a low laugh as he pulled out a cigar ”You think just because you’re my best in this joint that I wasn’t gonna get the Final Cut? You better take it before i hand your ass nothing”

You sniffled as you wiped at your runny nose.

The yellow paper with EVICTION stared at you as you felt another wave of tear hit you.

Why? 

Why couldn’t you just make enough to stay afloat?

Why did you have to suffer?

Why didn’t fate grant you mercy?

You had been busting your ass for months trying to make enough money to just pay the damn pills.

You were the best singer on your side of town and that shit hole needed a singer almost every night and when big shots went there. The money wasn’t terrible, it beat standing out on the pier at night, waiting to be taken to gods know where.

You laughed dryly, you would gladly get pimped out if it meant that you could still afford food to eat.

Why was life so cruel?

You had worked so hard and it felt like it was all for nothing.

You could hear your momma in your head

”You wanna dream big? Then never let life beat you down. Take it by the balls and make your dream a reality”

The next thing you know, you found yourself pulling out your mother’s old grimoire and drawing symbols on your bedroom floor.

what the hell were you doing?

You used to scoff at your mother when she did spells. 

Because magic wasn’t real…right?

But it felt like you had no other option as you threw some herbs into the small fire pot.

Momma used to tell you about all types of things that were possible with a little magic. That you always had friends on the other side who could help if you knew what you doing.

And you indeed had no fucking clue.

But you were tired, angry, and desperate and wanted to do something about it.

This was your life!

You felt your body tingle as you chanted the incantation.

The room turned cold and the fire from the candles blew out. The building started to shake as you spoke the last verse and suddenly you were thrown back from an explosion in the middle of your pentagram.

You watched in terror as the floor glowed red and rising from the smoke was a very large demon.

You panicked as it began to stand, gulping at its full height.

Oh what did you just do?

—————————————————

Alastor blinked as he stood. Fanning the smoke away from his face, he grimaced once he saw the pentagram, candles, and herbs. Who dared? His ears perked at the sound of heavy breathing. He turned his head and red eyes caught sight of a mortal woman standing against the wall, eyes wide.

He took a step towards her, head tilting as she cowered away. He huffed as he got to the edge of the protection boundary. He gave her a smile, sharp teeth glistening with narrowed eyes 

“Hello my dear”

——————————————————————

You took in the tall demon that stood in your bedroom.

He was dressed like one of those fancy gents.

Red and black tailored suit with a cane.

You watched as he curled his lip when he saw your protection boundary. You felt your body freeze as his eyes met yours.

Red.

Glowing red. 

He was rather handsome looking for a demon. 

He reminded you of-

“Deer” you squeaked, causing Alastor to tilt his head, ears flicking.

oh come on! You can’t be scared of something that you’re in control of!

”Hello my dear” you heard him say. He stood on the cusp of the salt boundary giving you his full attention.

That smile of his was very uncanny.

You shivered.

You found your nerves and puffed your chest out

”Hello demon-sir”

”Alastor” you blinked at him “w-what?”

He never lost that smile “The names Alastor. Pleasure to meet you” you were at a lost for words.  Alastor took your silence to look around, your spellbook caught in his attention before he took you in.

You cleared your throat “I summoned-” “conjured” “You to um make a deal?” You said uncertain

Alastor smirked “oh reallly? And what makes you think Ill make a deal with a human like you?”

You frowned ”You don’t have a choice! I summoned YOU here you have to do what I ask!’

He laughed darkly “Oh my dear that isn’t how things work” he looked back at the salt ”lets chat”

You didn’t trust him, but he seemed friendly girl don’t do it

you inched close and with a sweep of your foot, dusted a bit of the salt to let him through.

Alastor stepped through and now you were being towered over.

Alastor took you in.

what a small thing you were. He was sure you had no idea what you were doing or dealing with.

But if it was deal you wanted, he will grant that.

”What do you want?”

You wrung your hands nervously as you spilled your sad excuse of a life and your far fetched dream.

You felt a surge of determination as you finished your little rant “That’s why I need a deal! I deserve to rise to the top! I’ve worked my ass off for years and nothing! Why-Why should I settle for this? My life deserved to be full of glamor and money! I deserve that right? Right! S-s-so what do you say”

Oh what an innocent thing you were.

Such a fire that had nowhere to burn.

Perfect 

Alastor feigned mulling it over, your face dropping as he walked away from you.

”A deal works both ways my dear”he started as he turned back to you “What will you give me in return?” His smile stretched across his face as his calm facade faded.

You gulped but you were not gonna back out “Ill give you anything j-just please I don’t care what I have to do!”

He was in front of you in a flash, making you take a step back nervously 

“Anything?” A clawed hand squished your cheeks hard as he leaned his face to yours

”prove it” he purred

You blinked.  How the hell were you suppose to do that?

Nothing in this world is free. Your momma taught you that and your warning bells were screaming.

His thumbs was running over your lips and you opened your mouth to suck it.

You could die right now. Was this worth it? To give up your dignity to a demon?

Alastor growled and in a swift motion, you were on your bedroom floor, heart thumping in your ears as you looked up at the demon on top of you.

Alastor’s free hand swiped down your body, tearing your clothes to shreds, leaving you naked.

You felt a soft heat curl in your stomach.

Alastor laughed darkly as he took in your naked form. His hand dipped down and thumbed at the small bundle of nerves, causing you to jolt.

Oh he was going to have fun with you

”One year.” He said as he dipped a finger into your tight heat.

You gasped around his finger.

”You’ll get your fame. You’ll have riches and power beyond your imagination. A top star. It’ll all be yours. But in one year you are mine. Your soul and body. Do we have a deal?” He was slowly fingering you, relishing in the softness your cunt offered as it squeezed around him.

Your body and soul in exchange for glory.

Did you still want this?

”yes” you whimpered

A green glow emitted around the two of you. Alastor eyes glowed and his antlers grew as he plucked his thumb from your mouth and slammed his lips onto yours as he rubbed your clit as he slammed his fingers into you.

”mmmhmm hmmm!’ You cried into his mouth as your orgasm hit you.

Your cunt clenched around him, creamy slick drowning his hand.

Your body buzzed as he retracted his fingers, watching in bliss as he licked your cum off his fingers.

”Oooh such a sweet cunt” He Purred at you as he scooped you up into his arms to lay you on your bed.

”Ill always keep close watch my dear, so don’t think you can back out of this” he said, you blinked sleepily as you felt the coldness of a necklace clasped around your neck.

“One year my dear”

Your world faded to black.

pt 2 coming soon..hehehe

@thewinchestah @catherine1206 @stygianoir @jellibean2018 @markster666 @strawberrypimp666 @3verlark @alastor-simp @alastorsaries @alastwhore666 @gojosaturos-wife @tojirights @polytheatrix @dennsfz @horrorartsworld @prosciuttosblog @yourdoorisunlocked @dievia3 @alastorsdarling @t0byisher3 @mneferta @purplecatsandhearts @alishii @okay-babe @danveration @absurd-ash @peachedtv @simphornies @fatnug @alastorsdear @alastwhore666 @stawberrypimpsimp @altruisticalastor @queenariesofnarnia @scaramoochiie @rradio-static @someonethatsnotimportantplshelp @squeekycheesecurd @squixythebee @catmunist @lbcreations-blog @coleisyn @bratty2bunny @v0xsw1fe @alstorloml @fizzled-phoenix @siiv3r @k1y0yo @yunimimii @wisteria-seal @kassa-stardust

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Danny slowly lowered himself down onto Luther's newest death machine thanks to his bat themed grappling hook. Making special care not to let his heart beat or his lungs take in breath lest Superman hear him and intervene, he used his intangibility to sink into the machine itself to steal its parts.

Yeah, so a full white outfit wasn't the best choice for stealth, but it was better than dressing like a traffic light. Plus the black gloves and boots made him feel nostalgic. It had been only seven months since the accident that took his life, so much has happened since then.

Biting his lip as he smiled as he began gathering up parts and wires with his intangibility and placing them into his bag. Lastly he grabbed the power source, which-surprise, surprise, is kryptonite.

After he grabbed what he wanted he quickly stuck a note on the maintenance panel of the machine for when someone opened it and discovered it now had a large hollow space, then simply sank down through the floor and flew to freedom.

Danny sighed once he was clear. Or, at least he thought he was.

"Young man." Crud. Danny turned around to see big blue floating behind him in all his red underwear glory. Great. "I believe you have something that doesn't belong to you." The Kryptonian said, looking pointedly at the large chunk of kryptonite Danny held under his arm.

Instead of an excuse, Danny got an idea. "Uh, hello? Recognize the mask?" He said, gesturing to his face.

Superman narrowed his eyes, staring at his face for a few very long seconds and just as Danny was about to cut his losses and book it out of there, a look of recognition graced the heros face. Sweet. "Thats Nightwings mask."

"Yeah. Just smaller."

Superman nodded, then asked, "Why aren't you wearing a bat symbol? I wouldn't have thought you were a thief if I knew you were working with Batman." Danny had to fight to keep his face neutral.

"I haven't decided what symbol I want on my suit yet." And that was true. Danny wasn't sure he wanted any symbol at all. The mark of the bat would mean that he belonged in the batclan, and Danny was a lone ghost. A wandering spirit if you will. He didn't belong anywhere.

Some small part of his mind that sounded suspiciously like Jazz said that might be one of the reasons he's been behaving so poorly lately, but he brushed it off. Superman just nodded sagely. Danny doubted he actually knew how Danny felt and was just nodding along to appear sympathetic. Adults lie, and they lie often. Danny kinda hated them for it.

"Well, I'm kinda on a deadline, so I should get going. Crime to fight, goth furry to annoy, you know how it is." Danny said, waving the arm that wasn't carrying the kryptonite around in the air before using it to readjust the bags strap on his shoulder.

"Alright," superdude smiled warmly, "Tell Batman I said hi." Danny grinned back at him as he jogged away, "Will do!"

That went better than expected. Thank you, Nightwing~! The boy thought to himself as he ran off into a secluded area and turned invisible and flying away.

Just imagining Supermans face if- no- when Batman finally breaks and tells the Justice League about the little menace thats been stealing all his and his sidekicks stuff for the last few weeks nearly sends Danny into hysterics.

Danny still has Robins sword mounted above the fireplace in his favorite safe house in Costa del Sol. Red Hoods "favorite" motorcycle was in its garage and Red Robins wrist computer and chest harness thing were mounded in a glass case next to the first thing he stole from them:

Batmans utility belt.

Sure, its a pain to remove all the tracking stuff from them, but man is he proud of those accomplishments.

Still. Its better to leave Metropolis after he got caught by Superman. Its only a mater of time before someone finds out about the old switcheroo he pulled at the last museum robbery and that combined with the bodies of those creepy rich guys he had killed (human trafficer buyers) well, surely Batman has noticed he had been gone for a while and would pick up on the matching M.O. in Metropolis.

Time to bounce.

[tsumumiyaas]

AN EXCEPTION • SAKUSA KIYOOMI

CHAPTER ONE

To make it perfectly clear, Kiyoomi can never understand why Atsumu never date someone he actually likes, he always has his arms wrapped around a new model or singer or influencer or in this case an idol. An idol of a survival show that eliminates their participants until there’s a top 11 candidates to be part of an idol group and of course miya atsumu is dating the number one.

“she’s a perfect little thing ain’t she?” Atsumu says showing a picture of his girlfriend.

“three months” kiyoomi says only taking a glance at atsumu’s phone.

The rest of the meal continues with atsumu sulking over kiyoomi’s blunt response, but who could blame him, he only said the truth. “we’re gonna last long i’ll tell you that, she is actually so interesting” atsumu says still on the love bombing phase of the relationship “whats her favorite color?” Kiyoomi asks not wanting to indulge atsumu’s ‘romantic’ talk even further “does it really matter?” Atsumu says a little bit tipsy from his beer.

while listening to atsumu’s incoherent babbling, kiyoomi cant wait to go home. He wants to go home to his long time girlfriend, his perfect, sweet and gentle girlfriend, who doesn’t need him 24/7, never demands more than he could give, his picture perfect girlfriend that he will marry one day. She’s very low maintenance and spends her day in the hospital as a doctor whose undergoing her residency, life couldn’t get better for him.

when atsumu’s girlfriend comes over to the bar and decides to do some freaky shit with atsumu in the bar bathroom thats when Kiyoomi decides to leave. he enters his apartment seeing how neat and organized everything is, this is exactly how he wants to live his life. “Kiyoomi, im gonna be away for a few days for next week” his girlfriend of 3 years says to him

“again?”

“yup, look um we need to talk”

Kiyoomi’s ear perked up because of that sentence, “about what?” He says while taking off his jacket. She takes a deep breath before letting out “i think we’re both unhappy.”

“huh?”

“im unhappy.”

Kiyoomi stands there looking at the woman he loves, his favorite person, she’s everything he ever wants and need, he grips the coat rack beside him so that he doesn’t goes on his knees and beg for her to stay. “I think about it alot and i think sometimes away will benefits us”

“What? no, baby, what are you talking about we’re fine”

kiyoomi sees the bags behind her then something just dawned on him, she has already made up her mine, she’s leaving for good “how long have you been plan ing this?” Kiyoomi chuckles “one day you just pack up your things and what? Just leave? Three years, three fucking years and you’re out the door just like that?”

“i am alone in this relationship, you were just never here and its sickening omi, its sickening”

Those words are the last thing he hears before his brain just tune the fuck out of everything. The love of his life just left him and now, three weeks later he’s accompanying atsumu to his girlfriend graduation party as an idol, he doesn’t understand the concept of this whole idol group formed by a survival show thing, he doesn’t care either.

Atsumu just invited him so that he could fuck his girlfriend in the bathroom without anyone noticing, in other words, he was brought in as a distraction. In this room full of producers, managers and top 10 idols he still doesnt know what he should do or say. But one thing for sure he knows that these people, these idols are not his type. His type is the quiet type, the hard working girls who has something to do other than be his girlfriend.

As the night progressed he can feel himself missing his ex more and more, no one else can be more of his type than his ex. Then he sees you, the girl who is competing her fellow idols on stacking cups together as a party trick, you’re not his type, not at all. But for once, he’s planning to make an exception.

[turtleblogatlast]

okay so just so you know, im literally in love with your prison!leo au, yesterday i spent like over an hour scrolling through the tag and i think i read every post at least twice (more for the comics). its combining ‘prison dimension has permanent effect on leo, and not just mentally’, ‘immortality angst’, ‘object or place having a form of sentience’, AND ‘leo is somehow made significantly younger than his brothers which very much changes their dynamic without him wanting it to’ all into one which is just amazing.

i love how you combined comedy and tragedy very well!! like, for example the idea of leo being mistaken for the youngest brother, than a son, then a GRANDSON, is kinda funny for a second, but when you think about it for more than a couple seconds its also. really tragic. this poor kid may never be able to fully grow up - not only is he likely going to outlive his whole family but hes also permanently in the body of a child, lacking a fully developed brain and maybe never having the full maturity of an adult (at least in path b, until hes able to find a ‘cure’, if ever). its just. so good!!

anyways aldjsldkksld enough of the gushing (i mean i could keep doing it for like two thousand more words, but if i did it would probably devolve into keysmashes at some point from the Grip this au has on my brain). i am curious, what would happen if leo got sick? i know you mentioned that things like a common cold wouldnt really affect him that much, but what about one of those sickness is that leaves you pretty delirious/feverish and can take you out in a matter of a week? (could be a type of mystic sickness or curse as well, where you don’t know if the victim will survive or not and the only option is to wait it out.) what would happen? would they sort of just decide that its better to find a way to temporarily kill him so his body could regenerate as new, or would they try to take care of him and see if they could wait it out, since i imagine it would be the only time he’d really let his family take care of him in that way. thats all assuming his body wouldnt just automatically find a way to heal the separate curse and he’d be well again within an hour (still not fully sure as to how his healing works, sorry!)

anyways, love this au and im going to be obsessed with it for the next Month thanks

[ cw: discussion of murder / discussion of mercy kill / risky behavior implied / ]

Omg I’m

So touched???

Thank you for enjoying my AU so much, it really makes me happy to hear this :’) This whole AU was thought up exactly because of my interest in the concepts you mentioned - particularly the one regarding the Prison Dimension having a permanent and visible effect on Leo.

I know I haven’t updated it in a while, but I am still working on it and have even finished drafting the next comic, I can’t say when I’ll finish it but this ask definitely pushed me to work on it more so thank you so much <3

As for your question- it depends! In most regular illnesses, Leo would get over them very quickly, only experiencing the briefest brush with the symptoms before his body throws it away, if that. If the illness is mystic in nature then things get a little more complicated, as you’re right in that it could potentially end up as an endless loop of the first part of whatever weird sickness he gets. So if the illness is something that instantly affects you in the worst ways, and it’s something you just need to ride out until it leaves…that can potentially be harmful. Of course, it needs to be a powerful illness to bypass the prison’s curse to that extent though. …then again, maybe something would prefer that for him, should it appear beneficial :)

As for whether the fam would decide to just…’reset’ Leo to get rid of the illness…that’s a tough one. It really depends on how long Leo’s been back, and even then, it’s not something they’d just do, it’s hard for them to even imagine really. More likely, a sickly Leo would merely try to find a cure himself in his delirium, and end up ‘reset’ along the way.

I hope my wishy washy answer was enough! And really, thank you so much again for the kind words, they mean a lot :’)

[bonny-kookoo]

will we ever find out why joon is so against hybrids? im thinking maybe he had a bad experience with one before… like maybe he adopted a hybrid but they didn’t trust him so they ran away and now he just doesn’t like hybrids?

It's quiet in his home, no lights turned on as he sits in front of his bedroom closet, box in his lap. The words Yoongi had thrown at him had punched him harder than the producer would've ever been able to.

"-and don't you dare try and contact authorities about this!" His friend's voice echoes in his mind.

Namjoon knows it's not all that simple. There's no way to just undo what has been done, no good option available to simply remove those hybrids from his friends lifes to spare them the hurt that might be inevitable. They're idols. Busy. No private life. Always in danger of being dragged into something that might end their entire career in a heartbeat. It's not only Jungkook or Yoongi he's scared for- but those hybrids as well.

"They're not pets for fuck's sake!" He hears both of his bandmates in his head, and he knows that. He knows it probably just as well as they do.

It's been two years almost. It's going to be next month, on the thirteenth. And yet he still can't look at the green metal tag in the box, one he's seen Jungkook's hybrid wear as well. It's the international standard color for category 3 hybrids- it's not a surprise they're similar.

The design isn't the same, Jungkook's hybrid probably having received a newer version at some point, since the tags have to be renewed every year.

"But- you told me that I'd still be able to at least see her once in a while!" He'd argued with his management, having asked for where they'd brought you after workers had picked you up a few days prior.

"Namjoon-ssi, it's better this way." They'd explained to him. "With everything going on right now, it'll be easier to handle it all without the added burden of a hybrid." They'd told him.

"Thats not for you to decide!" He'd yelled, panic setting in as the reality slowly became too apparent to him. He hadn't just given you into temporary care. He'd given you away. He'd promised you, as you'd been crying the day before they took you, that it wasn't how it seemed. That he would always come see you. That he would get you back full time as soon as he could manage.

To you, it now must've seemed as if he lied. He himself at least feels as if he did, even if he didn't even know that what he said wasn't true.

Do you hate him now?

Surely you do, if you even remember him these days. He'd searched every shelter for your name, your ID number, everything, and nothing ever came of it- so you must have a new home at this point. He hopes you're happy.

He just wants to protect his bandmates from all of this.

Jungkook is easy to manipulate in his eyes. He would definitely fall for the same lies they've told the bandleader back then as well- and he doesn't want to imagine how devastated the youngest of the group would be if his hybrid, his partner, was to be taken away like that.

And with Yoongi, it's even worse, since he wouldn't even have a choice. If he wasn't to give his hybrid up voluntarily, there would be other options to get her taken by the system itself with just a call.

Namjoon closes the box again, burying it in the corner of his closet where he keeps it safe. He knows he'll come back to it just like tonight, whenever he feels like he needs to at least remember a little bit when it was all alright. When things were okay.

Maybe he should change his ways. Maybe he should start to try and protect both or his bandmates from this not by doing the same his management had done to him in the past- but by trying to be an example of what not to do. But at this point, with Yoongi clearly angry at him, and Jungkook more or less equally hostile, he's not sure if that's even an option any longer.

Maybe he's just doomed to lose.

[popcornforone]

January

From the Marcus Pike Fan Fic Diary

Masterlist

We all know Marcus deserves the world & so much better so this as to first entry of the diary was a good start. Not as slutty or smutty as I sometimes write but it’s a good start to this & I look forward to writing these over the next 12 months.

Synopsis:- Marcus was to have a new year new me for January, but your suggestion for one activity lead to something more enjoyable.

Word count:-1700

Warnings:- DONOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! PIV sex, established relationship, oral female receiving, swearing, teasing, fingering. remember this is a diary/journal.

Thanks for the read peoples, all feed back is welcome. I hope you enjoy.

New year new us…

Thats what he said as he rolled off me on new years. We hadn’t gone to a party for new years , instead we had stayed in. Dinner was delicious, he made my favourite Banoffee Pie, it always gets me going. The Prosecco was flowing & he started his pleasuring at about 11:40. Fireworks filled the night sky, along with my own moans as I called out Marcus name as I came just after midnight. He filled me so well, but I’ve already written this in here, it’s just more repeating myself (he was magnificent though). But he laid there going we’re going to be more active this year, make more time for our health, physically & metally, be more active together & make sure to do something each month to show our appreciation to each other.

Obviously that went out the window quickly for my Marcus. January 5th was one of those work night & he just sent a photo of an empty take away pizza box saying it was going to be a late one. But I’ve been good. Yea there’s been Christmas goodies to eat. There’s still biscuits & chocolate left over from the festivities that we had either purchased when we entertained or that others had brought us as gifts. We’ve not just binged on it. Maybe a biscuit with a cup of tea while watching a film snuggled in the sofa in a Sunday afternoon or maybe a bit of chocolate here & there but nothing to over the top. It’s got to be eaten, otherwise it will be thrown away, don’t want to waste them.

However his face last night, when I told him we should go to bed, was very confused.

“So early? How feral are you?” He had to double check his phone for the time.

“No Marcus” I replied “we’re doing park run at 9am tomorrow” 5k run jog or walk to help improve you exercise. We’d both been members for a few years & I had done a few more than him.

“This is a joke right” Marcus laughed. but then he saw my face, I was not. “Do you know how cold it’s going to be tomorrow?”

“32f”, but you’ve been on…”

“32f?!” He screaches “that’s almost frozen numbers are you crazy” he seems shocked “why can’t we just go to the gym? Or…”

“New year new us” my turn to interrupt & throw his original claim back at him “but you’ve been on colder stake outs that that”

“Yea but I’ve had tea soup & a coat not running gear”

“Trust me Marcus, it will be fine” Marcus does his little eye roll at me & then he switches the tv off & comes with me to bed. I love that he always walks behind, patting my bum. He’s so close, his scent intoxicating as always .

“Let’s make it more fun” he says as he follows me into the bedroom & we both undress, to get into bed, for intimate snuggles which as it’s a Friday night, will probably lead to sex. We both sleep nude anyhow even if sex isn’t involved.

“Oooh how baby” I said as I took off my hoodie which is actually his. A girls got to claim her man’s hoodie, if she doesn’t are they even a couple?

“The person who improves their time the most tomorrow, gets a special reward from the other” his eyes are wide & full of desire.

“Deal” my outstretched hand to shake on it was pulled towards his body. Soon matted in his chest hair as he moaned. His lips still as good as the first night I kissed him, when he pretended to be my boyfriend to save me from a creep.

“God I love you” he whined as he unhooked my bra.

No I need to stop, this isn’t a journal post about our sexploits. I can’t write every diary entry about us having sex. It’s not my fault he makes me feel sexy & confident, tells me Im his good little girl. The way he… no no no not yet, can’t say that now.

So we woke up at 8am & got into our running gear & headed to the park. Leaving the heated seats of the car was hard than I expected.

“Good idea huh?” Marcus says as he puts on his gloves & shivers instantly.

“Shut up” I snap back. It was 28 but it felt much colder. “It will make us run faster”

“I’m more likely to pull a hamstring”

“Excuses already?” I joked. I was never going to let him get out of doing this. We were already healthy. But he wanted to do the new year thing so we are doing this 5k.

“No…” he quietly grumbles back. “Well good luck,” he gives me a very small kiss before he pulled his snood up. His lips are chilly but the added warm from our lips touching make us both blush & gets our blood moving. Doesn’t matter that we’ve been together for a while he still excites me.

The run went well. He beat me in the actual 5k as usual. He always does. But not by as much as he thought he would. He was still warming down when I crossed the finishing line. I saw the shock on his face. I knew I’d kept a good gap to him on the run.

We got home & didn’t even shower. We went straight to the kitchen & made two huge mugs of steaming coffee & held on to them for warmth. The heating we turned on as we left for our run so it was snug when we got in, we were going to be warm quickly. & then we both got the emails with our stats. Adrenaline pumping, waiting to see who had the best improved time.

Marcus time: 36mins 12seconds improvement 27seconds

“Ahhhh” he said looking smug showing me his screen. Looking all proud. But I’m pulling a brilliant poker face & just casually slide my phone across to him.

My time: 39min 4seconds improvement 3minutes

“What the actual fuck? How? Did you cheat or take a short cut?” Marcus is astounded. “I’m impressed but bloody hell.” He leaned across the table & kissed me. Coffee lips so inviting & I moaned. I like to moan. He likes to hear it. Gets him going & his eyes widening always makes me flutter.

I didn’t wait to cash in my prize. I could have done but I didn’t. We needed showers, we were starting to smell from our run. He was just in his running leggins, that chest so firm, his nipples erect & his hair was messy from the layers he’d removed. He’s clean shaven at the moment too, I think he likes it, I miss the tickel though.

“Do you want to shower first, or are you going to have a bath?” He asks & then his eyes lit up as I rolled my Brazilian knickers off

“I want my prize”

I’d never seen him drop to his knees so quickly, sliding towards my delight. My legs parted instantly.

“Oooh baby” he growled.

Im sure I praised him as he licked my slick. I pushed his head down & his thick locks were trapped by my fingers as I thurst him deeper between my thighs. His nose rubbed against my clit at points. He lapped away moaning sexy nosies as I screamed in desire. Fat Fingers joining in at times too as Marcus had me covering his face, gushing over my handsome partner, coming undone as I came. He is such a brilliant lover.

“Who said that was what I wanted” I panted when my thighs stopped trembling for a few seconds.

“Well if you want anything else I’m happy to do that too.” His running leggins dropped to the floor. It was showing rather prominently & he stroked his leaking throbbingly thick & angry head of his penis over my clit. The sensation making my recently licked pussy dripping already again. He held my face as I sat up & his thrusting began. Fucking me hard. He likes to fuck hard from time to time. That’s the thing with my man, you never know what kind of sex you’re going to get. Over the years there’s been phases but he does like to change it up. My sensitive already orgasmic cunt let him in so easily & he fucked me with my name on his lips in between pants & moaning ooh fuck.

“Good your tight, fuck, just how I like it baby,”his hand cups my chin keeping our eyes intensely looked on each other as he got his thrusts up, making my clamp harder around him. Just watching that body of his which I caress always invigorates me. God he’s good.

His words in his sexy voice.

His touch.

His kisses.

How he tastes.

The sweat.

The cum.

The way he makes me spiral.

I’m not a slut but I’m his slut.

It’s just the way he fucks me. No one matches. No one.

Once we had both orgasmed & showered he had a warm glowing smile on his face. He really does love me.

I got downstairs for lunch, Marcus insisted on sorting it out. But even before I walk into the kitchen I can smell it. It’s not healthy? It’s bacon & fried egg rolls.

“Marcus”

“What”

“Unless you’ve purchased the…”

“No it’s real bacon, though we deserved a reward.” He winks at me.

“What about new year new us?” I asked him.

“The amount of sweat & energy we’ve spent today, you can have some bacon beautiful”

So yea that’s how our new year has started. We got to the 3rd Saturday in January before we really started being healthy & then our hunger for certain things just pushed it all out of the window on the same day.

Maybe we will attempt a park run again in the spring when it’s not so cold, but if it means extra attention from my Marcus, I might encourage it.

February

[sunflowercider]

Possibly worse than "making up a guy to get mad at" is getting stuck in a ever increasing anger loop thinking about how you could have spoken better when it really mattered

i just gotta write this out to exorcise it from my brain this morning. Kinda personal and kinda icky so hiding it

I know my extended family isn't exactly a bastion of progressive politics (thankfully my parents were a little slow on some uptakes but generally pretty good) but the sensitive topics never really came up in the few times a year I would see them (christmas. a wedding or funeral). I live closer to them as an adult now. And I see them more often, like every 3-4 months. Generally family parties.

About two years ago, at one party, the topic of child beach safety came up since it was on the news. Okay, safe enough. I'd realized by that point that my family was definitely one of those "conservatives who think theyre very progressive" types (california conservative?), so I'd learned when to put up my shielding. "Beach safety," sure, yeah yeah, "adults these days not watching their kids anymore blah blah." Not sure thats true, but okay, whatever.

"You know, you gotta be careful, theres homeless people by that beach!"

Oh fuck.

I'm sure it's the same in many cities right now, but homelessness in all of SoCal is pretty high lately. I'd managed to wiggle out of potential conversations about it by flat out ignoring family when they scoffed and pointed out homeless people while driving, or by responding quietly by wondering if the person was doing okay in the sun/heat/cold. "Can you believe there's homeless people here now?" Yeah man, it's rough out there, isn't that hard for them? Use your real words and I'll use mine.

The news report came up again. There were some homeless people, gasp, using drugs. What drugs? Doesnt matter; what matters is what happens next.

"...and they found five of them OD'd on the corner!"

"Well, five less to worry about, thank goodness!"

Cue laugh track.

I am fucking frozen.

This cannot be real.

"How could you say something like that?"

It's the best I got. I am a very poor speaker unless it's a planned lecture, and I certainly had not planned to defend the dignity of five homeless people who had passed away today.

The family backpedals fast.

I cant clearly remember how they backpedaled tbh. I was in shock. Something awfully close to like "they deserve what they do to themselves" or something, and how I was too young (im nearly fucking 30 at this point???) to understand.

And it is at that exact moment I look around at the table and realize that one of my 15 year old cousins is sitting at the corner, arms crossed and curled up, looking directly at me.

Oh, fuck, I cannot let her think she's alone here. And fuck this, that was lightyears too far.

So I try to speak up.

I am very bad at it.

I try to explain homeless people are real people. They just can't get back up after a fall. An aunt has the fucking gall to say they could always ask a friend of family to crash on a couch. I try to explain to her that not every family is as fucking huge as ours, and even then maybe they can't talk to them for some reason. I'm waved off. Someone defends that there are homeless shelters they can go to. I try to explain that theyre often full and sometimes arent safe or accommodating. I get pressed for details and my brain shutters, not well-versed enough in the topic to pull real examples out of my hat.

It's a blur at this point, but I am both outnumbered and way too angry and upset to come up with much. It's a loss, clear and loud.

It's a wonder I didn't leave the party that day. I think I stuck to my cousins for most of it, or my very deaf grandma who literally couldn't hear any part of the conversation.

That party keeps fucking haunting me. As it should - I realized my family has a hard line on who they consider people. It sucks it sucks it sucks. But theyre my family, and damned if I'm going to let the adults have the only say when my cousins, all of which are younger than me, are in the damn room.

[marirey17]

So my goal for this year is to get back into writing again. Several things last year kinda of made me realize that the fact that I have trouble with writing isn't not a me problem. It is just how writing is. And that I should give it a try again. So I am going to give it a more serious try. Now the problem of what to fucking write.

Sure I could finish the WIP from years ago but I am not really in that fandom anymore. Maybe one day I will pick it up again. But instead I am just going to write down some ideas here. From one my notebook of fanfic ideas. I should find my other one that has more fic ideas in it.

In no particular order lets go.

Percy De Rolo being pen pals with Anne Riply- I always imagine that the bit of Percy life that we saw in the campaign/show was the cleaner version of the events. I am full conspiracy theory that Percy was closer to Riply before murders. It never really made since that the Briarwoods just somehow got a dinner invitation to a very influenational noble family like the DeRolo's. It makes sense that they planned on how to inflitrate. Corrupting a tree from inside. The betrayel of incredibly smart Percy who feels left out of the family. He isn't the heir, he isn't particulary worldly, or physically strong. He is the smart one. Enter Anne who at first is just humoring then goes 'oh shit' he is smart and tries to corrupt him. Lots of ways this can go. Percy whump is one of my favorite things to read. This is probably only going to be pre canon.

Percy Seven Swans AU - I love the seven swans myth. So family cursed instead of murdered. Definitely not canon. Orthax requireing Percy to make Automatons? Chain mail, Mech hearts? Or resisdium stuff.

CR Campaign 2 Avatar Au - This is so bare boned in my book. All I have is Cad being bullied and a few elements assigned to people. So pass not gonna do this one.

CR Campaign 2 Soc Media AU- Yeaaa noooo I like Soc Media au. But this has even less than the avatar au. Just premise no prompts. Also modern au's are hard for me to write.

CR Campaign 2 - Caleb is a prince of the Dwendalian Empire. This is a headcannon that I have. But it doesn't make much since for Trent to be as obessed with Caleb as he is. Sure Caleb is a flawed prodigy. But to keep him alive for 10 years in a mental ward instead of killing him? Why do that? Makes more sense if Caleb is an illegiatment prince of the Dwendal family. The current heir is a miltary man right? Makes since he might have children out of wedlock. And his wife is looking for a cure to her fertility problems. What better than a prince you have under your thumb? The Cerberus Assembly is a shadow goverment already. But thats it that all my thoughts. And it would have to be a long fic to do it any justice. There are a lot of Royalty AU's in CR2. But most of them have someone else as the Royal. I also like the idea of Caleb becoming King then abdicating and making a democracy.

Next in old Journal is prompts from a year old Whumptober month. So lets see if there are any gems there.

Kaladin Stormblessed having stitches overgrown from stormlight. Ouch.

Sandry fa Toren from Circle of Magic- dealing with isolation. I think sandry has the hardest time connecting with people. Being a noble and having her friends be away all those years. She doesn't fit easily in noble society and the working class isn't at ease with her.

Midorya from MHA - dealing with chronic pain and challenges from all the injuries he has. This is a possibilty but I am so out of the MHA fandom.

Luffy from One Piece - Rubber has got to changed your sense of touch right? Probably dulls it. No wonder luffy glomps on people if all everything is muted.

2 different Log Horizon fic ideas! - Shiroe was in the game for much longer than anyone else. No wonder he is well known. People think he is an npc but he was just there for longer. And second idea Log Horizon Soulmate idea. The other world just has soulmates. Shiroe and Akasuki. I would have to refresh my knowledge of that fandom.

Hopefully this gets my wheels turning. Also anyone is welcome to grab these ideas and run with them.

[pbandjesse]

What a sleepy day. I really needed it.

It was also incredibly grey. Which made me more sleepy. But like in a nice way.

I slept alright last night. I woke up when James got up and again when they were leaving for work. I only vaguely remember what was said but the hugs were nice.

I woke up for real at 9. And laid in bed until 930. When I did get up I went and made sure the mice were okay and I was thrilled when the other mouse's eyes were open. Amazing. I am hoping we can introduce more solid foods in the next week if they continue to do well.

They are crusty though. I tried washing them a few times. But they are so small!! It's hard to get them clean at all when you are trying to be gentle. I'm doing my best so they don't look so crispy.

I got washed up and dress but I didn't feel great. Just kind of icky today. Being very cold did not help. Though I do really like my new jumpsuit. I would switch sweaters multiple times today but I think the texture of fleece is my favorite right now. I felt cute in my zip up.

It wasn't raining or anything yet but I was still glad I didn't go to the market. It seemed miserable out.

I had wanted to work on my knitting but James has taken the care to work and didn't bring my yarn upstairs. It's okay. I would find other things to do to occupy my time.

I would start with picking out my fall wardrobe. Today is the first day of fall! It was funny to see the pile of clothing I deemed summer clothing, the colors all were so similar. And so when the fall clothes were all hung up they all looked so cohesive and that was really cool.

My dad called me and we talked for about an hour. Just catching up. Told dad about the mice. About James's parents. Work. Just all the stuff thats been up. He told me about how his (fake) leg fell off. I think he should start cutting off his pant legs so he has easier access if something like that happens. But I'm proud of him for continuing to work hard to be able to walk again.

My allergies started acting crazy and I was suffering a little bit on the phone. Once we got off the phone I went and took some medicine and washed my face and would very slowly start putting away the clothes I had chosen for storage.

This didn't go great. My allergies were making me weird. I felt dizzy and I couldn't focus. Then all of a sudden I lost control of my left hand?? Like I couldn't get it to work or connect with my phone. Which sounds alarming I'm sure. But my left thumb has been acting bizarre for like a month and I promise I will be asking my doctor about it next month.

I would just pile the clothing in my storage box and we will go back through there tomorrow or Monday and actually fold stuff. I just couldn't handle it today.

I would have a snack and then laid in bed with sweetp. Basically for the best of the afternoon. Just watching adventure time on TikTok and watching the storm as it started in earnest.

I did not take a nap. I just watched things and listened to the storm. I would get emotional watching stuff and cried a little. I was going through it.

When James got home they found me curled up in bed with sweetp. They would lay with me for a while. Eventually though they had to go help their dad and Stanley figure out how to get football tickets on their phones. Stanley apparently had a completely full email box and so he hasn't gotten an email on 6 months which is hilarious. So James helped with that and it was very funny.

I got up and started working on my knitting in the living room. I did 2 blue squares. I'm hoping to lay out the whole project tomorrow to get a better idea and probably start pinning it.

And James made me grilled cheese and soup. But everything tasted wrong. It was nothing James did. I think it was my allergies. But it was annoying that everything smelt like blood and metal. I had had a nose bleed earlier and it just was in my nose all day I guess. Which made my tastes all wrong. Annoying.

We spent a while on the couch. The storm started getting worse. The wind picked up a lot. I would go and take a hot bath. And watch a scary video.

And now we are just hanging out in bed. Talking about bagels. Tomorrow I have my class with BAS but for the morning I hope to clean a bit and lay out my blanket and hope that it's not as cold in here.

Sleep well tonight everyone. Be safe. I love you! Until next time!

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Sissi — Schicksalsjahre einer Kaiserin (1957) [Sissi — Fateful Years of an Empress]

This was a good one! I was worried that it would end with Elisabeth's assassination and that I would have trouble writing a review in light of a certain unprecedented event which completely threw me off my groove, but it didnt, so that was good i guess

The plot was pretty all over the place, it starts with Elisabeth hanging out in Hungary with Gyula Andrássy and asking him to invite Count Batthyani (who swore to never give the imperial family the time of day because the emperor gave the order to execute his father) to his house so that she can talk to him on neutral ground and make peace with him. And she does! Kind of? Idk, she starts having some weird pains so she returns to Vienna pretty much immediately after that to have a doctor check up on her. Turns out that she has some kind of lung disease, oh nooooo, the doctor advises her to go to Madeira, both because she needs a change of air to help with her disease but also because she's contagious and should be away from Franz Joseph and her daughter. In Madeira, she spends the first weeks being depressed and not getting any better but then Ludovika comes by to cheer her up and get her moving again and they travel a bit and Elisabeth ends up making a full recovery. When Franz Joseph hears about this, he obviously wants to go to her as quickly as possible, he wants to meet her in Venice but his advisors are like "You need a political reason to go to Venice because shits been going and all of italy hates us and if you go there just for personal reasons, something bad might happen", so they decide to hold an opera gala with a big reception in Milan and they invite a bunch of italian nobles. But uh-oh, the italian nobles dont like austria so they all passive-agressively send their servants over in their stead and then to add insult to injury, the orchestra and singers start performing some opera-song about freedom and all the servants in the audience join in. But Elisabeth claps anyway, either showing that their attempt to insult just slid right off her or that she's supporting them, Im not really sure. At the reception, she and Franz Joseph passive-aggressively receive all the servants as though theyre the actual nobility, I dont know how this is helping them politically. But whatever, later on they get on a boat and drive (? whats the word you use for boats) to a church to meet the pope, but there are no adoring citizens cheering for them on their way, its a complete ghost town and the few people that are there just glare at them, so thats really humiliating. But then they arrive at the church and Elisabeth's daughter runs up to greet her after all these months/maybe years and all the people standing next to the church cheer and the pope loves her so its all good.

So that was a pretty underwhelming finale, both to the trilogy and just this film as a standalone. Like, the previous films both ended on these big victories ignore the fact that the wedding did not feel like a victory when I saw it that felt like they mattered and had been built up, but I think the troubles with Italy only got brought up like 25 minutes before the end so I found it hard to care about all that.

But idk, I still liked it overall, although writing out a summary of the plot really made me realize how messy it is. Honestly, I find it kinda hard to describe what exactly I even liked about this film specifically that isnt just all the stuff I liked about the previous ones (the acting, the sets, the costuming etc). I think Ive just gotten to a point where Im attached enough to (this version of) Elisabeth that Im pretty much fine with just watching her do whatever

I mean, I guess I liked that they softened Sophie for this one, I mean she's still strict with that everything-for-the-dynasty mindset but shes not actively causing problems with Elisabeth so that was kinda nice.

Actually, that reminds me of a scene that I really liked, it might be favorite in the film (although it does have some serious competition that I'll tell you about later). So, when Elisabeth comes back to Vienna after being in Hungary and she gets exhamined by the doctor, he doesnt actually tell her whats going on because its a really serious lung disease and he thinks she might not survive until the next year, but he does tell Sophie. Elisabeth finds out about this when she's allowed to get out of bed for an hour and decides to surprise Franz Joseph in his office at the exact moment Sophie decided to tell him about her condition, so she overhears everything including Sophie being like "yknow, since the empress is probably gonna die pretty soon and she hasnt produced an heir, we might wanna start looking into other women" which is so fucked up. But anyway, Franz Joseph sends her away and once he's alone he buries his head in his hands and starts crying, and he lets out such wonderfully pathetic little sobs it made me giggle and kick my feet. sighs dreamily. Men Suffering <3 (I mean that in a pervert way, not a terf way)

Then Elisabeth goes up to him and comforts him (shes using a different, hidden door than the one Sophie left through) and I liked that too, he doesnt hear her so he doesnt notice her approaching until she's already right next to him and gently puts a hand on his head, and it makes him kinda freeze up for a moment before he wipes away his tears and looks up to see that its Elisabeth, and hes still shocked for a moment and asks her how much she heard and she's like "I think Ive heard everything I had to hear" and then they hug and oughhhhhhh its a good scene. 10/10

Now, that other scene that I really like is one I like for how fucking insane it is. Its at the very start of the film, Elisabeth, Gyula and a bunch of his guys are doing a horserace and after being in the lead for a while, Elisabeth and Gyula lose the track and they basically just decide to give up and wander around together instead of joining back with the others. They walk and talk about how much they love hungary until they stumble upon a Romani camp where she hears a woman whos being beaten up by her husband cry for help. She walks up to them, yells at him and pushes him pretty hard and I think the husband slaps her in retaliation but Im not entirely sure. She definitely hits him with her riding crop and then the woman pours a bucket of water over, at which point Gyula finally intervenes and goes "HEY this is the queen of hungary". The woman and her husband both profusely apologize while Elisabeth just kinda laughs it off and walks away and as she's walking away, the husband starts beating the woman again.

Honestly, I dont think my description of that scene truly conveys how insane actually watching it was, it happens so suddenly and goes by so quickly, I literally yelped when the woman poured the bucket of water on her, a true roller coaster of emotion. That being said, as I was writing that down I realized that I felt weird saying that my favorite scene in this film is the one making a joke out of domestic violence, so I officially declare the other scene my favorite

And yeah, that's pretty much it for this one. It's a pretty flawed film but I liked it and I had a pretty good time watching it, I actually didnt feel any of that dread while watching (I mean, I was a little anxious because of the assassination-thing but I forgot about that pretty quickly). If I had to rank this trilogy from worst to best, the order would be: first film, third film, second film

[jetblkhotelmirror]

what the fuck are we supposed to do??

i just feel so defeated and so useless and so, so confused

like

OBVIOUSLY im not voting for trump next year. thats a given. but after everything, i cannot in good conscience vote for biden either.

but im not an idiot

i know that biden is probably gonna be on the democrat ticket, and i also know that a third part win is almost impossible.

and i know that politicians are people too and none of them are going to be absolutely perfect. but it feels like NO ONE is doing enough right that i can feel good about voting for them, especially no one that has a shot.

the best candidates are the small, unheard of ones, but i cant vote for them either unless they get really popular in the next six months because i dont wanna throw my vote away even if its for a good cause.

i am 18 years old, this will be my first ever presidential election. a few years ago, i was so excited for this. i was so excited hat i would finally be able to help make a difference, and now its here and im crying over decisions that are so big and so scary and that are going to kill people, pretty much no matter what happens. this isnt supposed to be this hard. its not supposed to be a choice between which groups are going to be murdered. its not supposed to be a life or death decision. its supposed to be about who will make this country better, not who is gonna kill the least people while theyre in office

i just.. i dont know what to do.

if anyone is willing to share a 2024 candidate that i should look into, im basically desperate for a not horrible person to research so i dont feel like every single option is a mass murderer.

oh and please, please, do not say marianne williamson, i will not be voting for a right wing in disguise "spiritual guru" whose gonna go full republican or worse the second shes in office

[cchollygolighty]

I can’t wait to meet me again in a year

To be proud, no matter what! We should be proud about the small things, small achievements, they make us strong

Even the darkest of times are blessings, and I sure felt that

You never learn from good and happy times, you learn from the nasty ones

I failed such an importante person for so long, me! I didn’t let people fail me, I did that to myself…… I was betraid, broken, left alone, made fun off, violated, and so much more, and I suffered it all in silent….but no matter how broken I got, I needed it! Life is not meant to be enjoyed, yet to be survived. I went to fucking hell, and survived. Yes hell, and yes, survived. No matter how bad every day was, I survived it, the best I could, and I should be proud of that.

2 years ago, at this exact day, I learnt that my mom had cancer, and I told no one. NO ONE! Not even her! I just heard what I wasn’t supposed to hear. Didn’t felt real at first, but I knew what I had to do. I had people to protect, no matter the sanity and things that cost me. So I pretended, everything “was fine”. I told my ex 3 week after, he wasn’t an ex back then, my guy best friend 3 months later, and my girl best friend 6 months later. Since then, I live 24/7 with the “pain” from it, and all the shit that came along the way. My 2 best friends, God be good, and I do not believe in God, I know them since 2010, and when I met them, I fell in love with them right away, yes love, cause you have love for friends right? And everyday, they moved moutains for me since then. From Pedro calling me at 3 am only to check if I was “breathing” at least 3 times a week, to Anastacia being there on every panic attack I had, and they were so many. These 2 are for life! There were so much shit I had to “survived” this past 2 years, besides my mother’s health, that almost killed me a month ago. The pain and the shit that happened to me and the people that I love on the course of these 2 years were so unbearable that my body alone started to shut down. From my skin to a kidney failure, my mental health was literally killing me from inside out. I lost myself so much that I had to get mental help, went to a psychiatrich, and I am on my second week of treatment.

Do you know what hurted the most? I pitied myself, for months. What a shame. Stupid bitch. I should be proud, I am still here, I didn’t quit, I took a “pause” and went for help, cause we all suffer in different ways. Thats amazing you know? Admitting to things, feelling, thats my favorite type of people, the ones that admit are hurting, you start lacking empaty when you hide your pain and feelings, doesn’t make you strong, makes you even more weak, makes you full of yourself, stupid, dumb. Wouldn’t the world be so much better if we share our battels? Even the little ones, the “stupid ones”? It’s not stupid to feel, it’s unnatural to not feel.

These past 2 years, I lost people, I’ve met people, some I know already that will be for life, and a lot I will never be part of it again! If you didn’t want me, care for me, demand of me, not even tried to understand me or reach to me just to check in, get the fuck out. And don’t come back! Those, are not welcome anymore. I put up with so much shit, I am a really good friend and a fucking good person.

These 2 years were hell, but above all, were a blessing!

I am the type of person that learns from mistakes, insecure but kind, I know my worth, I forgot about it for so long, but I had to, I needed to….I needed to fall to grow, to rise, and to fall hard, because the next time, I will be prepared, and I will learn even more. Knowledge, and knowledge is power, and always stay humble.

I hope in a year I meet the love of my life, the one that I should have met years ago, me! And I will love her, care for her, and never abandone her again.

A quick reminder, a simple text matter, a simple call, a simple “hi”, a simple meme, just an emoji, and a sorry means the world. Do and say what you feel, the world needs people like that. Always be kind, and remember, you never know the answer until you ask, even if you don’t like it, at least you didn’t die wondering.

[moodymisty]

Hi there 😊 I am so glad to see someone writing (so well, I might add) for Paz Vizsla ! I am quite obsessed with him atm... May I request something for him, like falling uncontrollably in love with a jedi reader? (also with some nsfw... a little inappropriate use of the force... just enough to bring this big guy to his knees 😇😍).

Of course I know it is not easily compatible with canon so it is completely fine if you do not wish to write it, no pressure!

Thanks 💜

An opportunity to write for Paz? Hell yeah. Forgive any issues, I wrote this while sick in bed. (I don’t think it’s COVID and praying it isn’t cause I had over 6 months of long COVID last year and I’m not in the mood)

Maybe it isn't the most canon compliant thing sure, but fuck that lol. Went with kind of a order 66 padawan survivor kind of vibe, but overall it's pretty vague. imagine how you wish all, tis the point of this sort of thing.

Relationships: Paz Vizla/Fem!Reader

Warnings: Lewd but not full NSFW, Inappropriate use of The Force, handjob(?)

It’s during a long hyperspace flight that Paz leans back in the creaking pilots chair, and thinks. He’s perhaps been a bit reckless at times; But he has a brain in that helmet of his, and prides himself on the minimal damage it’s taken.

But his trip to Dirahn didn’t leave him empty handed, which was part of the reason why his thoughts were so tumultuous. Maybe more so the main reason, than just part.

Judging by the description on the bounty he’d expected someone like a Zabrak armed to the teeth; Not, you. Someone in a hovel near the woods, clearly trying to hide from something. He remembers the look you’d had, of someone who was scared but couldn’t run and so they were ready to fight, even if they weren’t prepared.

He’s had that look before; He’d recognized it through the glow of your rusted unkempt lightsaber.

He couldn’t pull the trigger then, even if you’re a sworn enemy. Even if you’re the bounty he’s after.

Thats what made it all worse. It also wasn’t a problem. At least to someone with less of a moral compass.

It took more than a bit of coaxing to get you to dim your lightsaber, and even more so to step closer. Then again, he isn’t an expert in talking. Not to many Mandalorians are. But it works, and eventually the bad feeling in your gut dimmed enough to follow him.

You originally say, after a long and uncomfortable silence that he had brusquely explained that you were no longer hidden here, that he should drop you off at the next habitable planet with spots to hide. It makes sense; And at first he's more than eager to get you off of his ship. But the travel takes cycles of boring time that you fill with casual attempts and conversation and fixing your old robe, and by the time you both get to a habitable planet and he’s refueling the ship, he finds himself convincing you away from staying here.

It’s a better idea; Is the excuse he uses for himself. He attempts to ignore the way he keeps looking over at you sitting in a normally unused co-pilot seat, a dark robe comfortably swathing almost your entire body.

He finds himself in less of a rush to throw you off than he’d like to admit.

The Jedi are their sworn enemies, he knows well. Even though you insist you aren't a Jedi, Paz knows that it isn't that simple. But yet here you are, sitting in his co-pilot's seat as the stars stripe past the viewport.

Paz considers this all a lapse in judgement.

A big one.

He has to go back to the covert, and part of feels tumultuous at the idea; He's bringing someone who's supposed to be a sworn enemy this close to where is people lie hidden.

He should've just given you that first ride and dropped you off on Nar Shaddaa like you'd asked. But when he glances over to you again and sees you turn to him and give a small smile playing again with the bracelets on your wrist, he knew he would've have been able to.

Of course the time he falls irrevocably head over boots for someone, it's a Jedi.

Well, not a jedi, as you say. But you know it's just arguing semantics. In this day and age the difference is just a line in the sand.

It doesn’t take a genius to tell by the tone in his voice when you land that you aren’t welcome where he’s going, and you’re not exactly surprised.

“I’ll be back to the ship before dark.”

"Don't take too long," You manage to joke before he leaves. The ship also needs a good bit of work, after a fire fight you’d gotten into a short while back. Some of it might serve to keep you busy while he's gone, or you wander around.

You decide to wander; As the large city is too much of a temptation after so long of seclusion.

And with your newly fixed robe swathing most of your body, the hilt of your lightsaber is hidden safely behind it, you end up passing through crowds of people and around stuffed little stalls. The security of your inherited lightsaber lets you wander around safely, arms close to your body as the cold pierces your clothing.

You have vague memories of large cities like this, but overall, it's largely new.

You'd ran to the farthest planet you could make it to with the credits you had once the order fell, as even after the main slaughter many like you were still being actively hunted. Paz being a lucky break.

It's not like it's something that's exactly easy to keep a secret, the Force.

Neither is your appearance, as you can feel eyes on you as you slowly shift through a sizable crowd. There’s shops selling things everywhere and it’s almost overwhelming, compared to the peace of your woods. You must seem out of place enough that people are starting to get a little curious, particularly any locals.

From the perspective of a Jedi in hiding this would be a perfect place; as the noise from so many beings clouds the Force to such a degree that tracking is difficult.

But not for Paz, it seems.

“What are you doing out here?” It’s less so of a question and more of a statement, as he doesn’t give you much leeway to answer once you turn to look at him.

“The ship is fixed. We should be off.” It's the ladder half of the sentence that catches your ear, as you hadn't exactly heard him use one of those particular words before.

“We?” Part of you had been under the impression this was where you parted ways, even if the time you’d spent together had been surprisingly enjoyable. You wouldn’t mind sticking around, as well as it was safer being constantly on the move. However it seems Paz is content to completely ignore your question, and stares at you through the tinted visor of his helmet. He's glaring, you can feel it.

“Let’s go.”

———————--------------

Time passes slowly and incredibly quickly during hyperspace, as it feels like you're often time ferociously bored, as well as constantly busy with things.

Paz being one of those things.

You weren't sure exactly of what place in time you ended up becoming a permanent edition to the ship, but at some point you had beaten the odds, as well as Paz's hard exterior. At least made a few cracks in it. You’ve found out through it and many other little instances stuck alone up in hyperspace that Paz can be a bit of a flirt, in the right mood.

It’s just after one of those moods now, and you’ve decided to play around a bit with him when he isn't expecting it.

The force is something you’ll always need to hone but the feeling lasts on your palm as you slowly move, your hand cupped a bit as you glance over. You know exactly what you're trying to do, but you can't exactly shake the feeling that it feels a little, wrong. You still do it anyways however, biting your lip to try and avoid smirking when you glance over to take a look at the pilot's seat.

He shifts ever so slightly, so you have a good feeling it is working.

Slowly you keep it up, trying to focus but not make it incredibly obvious you are focusing on something. Afterall you can't see if he's looking at you, unless his helmet is pointed right at you. He's managed to abuse that with a few sneaky glances, you're sure. But he's not facing you now, as the reflection of stars scatter across his helmet while he looks out of the viewport.

He shifts again, and you could swear you heard him clear his throat, but the helmet muffles it almost completely. That piece of armor is the source of a good bit of your grievances, it seems.

One of his hands darts down for a second to tug at the fabric of his flightsuit, so it's more than obvious now he's getting hard. It's even hard to hold back the smirk now. You wonder how long you can get away with this before you either get caught, or he takes his leave for a moment to deal with what he surely thinks is a random thing.

Not much longer is what it seems; As mere moments after you have that thought, his helmet is turning to look right at you.

When he glances over, tempted to leave the pilot's seat for bit to take care of this, it's when he notices something about you that his body goes so rigid that even you realize you've been caught. You still keep going however, even as it's more than obvious his eyes are on your lap.

"Are you-"

He sees the way your hand is ever so slightly moving while your arm rests on your lap, and you glance at him. Your hand matches what he's feeling perfectly.

"Dirty Jedi tricks."

He doesn't have much of a chance to say anything more beyond that, as the feeling intensifies so much so that he actually lets out a somewhat loud groan while leaning forward. That sensation shot all the way up his spine, and it probably would've buckled him had he been standing. Right after he manages to gather himself just enough he suddenly bursts up from his seat, and even with his helmet on you can tell by his rigid body poster that he's more than a little bit furious.

Thats fine with you, as more often that not as you've learned that isn't exactly a bad outcome for you.

“Come here.” He doesn’t give you much choice in the matter, as he grabs your wrist- conveniently the one that was just in a way jerking him off, and drags you in the direction of his cot near the back of the ship. He throws you down onto it, just as you speak up:

“I thought you couldn’t take the helmet off?” Paz sternly gives a response.

“You’re lucky I’m taking my glove off after that trick.” Now well and truly out of your depth the engine still rumbles in the background; as Paz flips you over onto your stomach.

[maddenleftchat]

Yandere gojo🥺🥺

Bet!

Triggers: possessive behaviors, manipulative behaviors, obsessive behaviors, toxic relationship, unhealthy relationship, toxic obsession, forced relationship, unwanted flirting/teasing and yandere behaviors. Please be careful when reading!

Enjoy.

Gojo

Gojo is a possessive and manipulative yandere.

He knows exactly what he is doing when he does it.

He is completely aware of when something messes with you in the wrong way.

Gojo has full knowledge of what his feelings are and how to cope with them.

He knows that he wants you and only you, and that's how it's going to be.

Gojo will take nothing less when it comes to his wants with you.

~

You were a new teacher.

You were prepared to take on all the students at the Jujitsu high school, but soon became underwhelmed to find out that you would actually be Co-teaching with someone else.

"How bad can it be?"

You ask yourself.

Well…pretty bad.

Least to say your first day was exhausting.

The students were running you everywhere, and your coworker was like a child himself!

You could give the kids some slack because well…their kids!

But you had now idea that an almost 30 year old man could be so childish?!

You wouldn't be surprised if someone told you that a child switched bodies with him, or something like that.

The first day was truly exhausting.

And it didn't help you slept on campus, right next to Gojo's room.

Because apparently Gojo took this as a sign that you two were immediately best friends.

He was always way to touch with you.

Getting comfortable way to fast.

He seemed to never leave you alone.

And you got annoyed quickly, but wouldn't say anything.

~

As the months drive forward, so does Gojo's clingyness.

It's gets so bad to the point where he simply throws a little fit when you try to help out one of your three students.

"(Name)~ I can help her. I'm the expert here, you should save your energy for helping me." He'll say in the normal sing-song tone.

Saturo had been doing that a lot lately.

Shamelessly and subtly flirting with you.

He could have careless who was around you, if he wanted your attention he always seemed to get it.

And if you weren't talking to someone else, then you were working on paper work.

And thats when he would strike the fastest.

You would be mindlessly filling out the paperwork then…

"Boo!"

"Ah!"

"Hahaha! Got you (Name).~"

"I told you call me (Last Name), Gojo."

"Ugh. Your so stuck up. Come on let lose a little."

You simply role your eyes.

~

While Gojo is all good and fun when it comes to teasing, even he has his limits of patience.

And if you don't fall into his arms by the time that patience runs out…well then..

Your time of freedom will be up to.

He'll take you away.

Gojo is high enough in power, both physically and family wise, that all he needs to do is pay a few people some hush-money and you'll be pronounced dead in a few days.

Say goodbye to freedom, my lovely reader.

~

In short: Better luck next time.

Word count: 499

_________________________________________

Thanks for reading!

[hellsurvivr]

    SHE HAD NO REGRETS,    fluctuating in her heart over the fact her father and brother were dead, no regret for the way she had shut down any and all feelings regarding it. especially when she learned why they had been killed. what she regretted the most was that she had not been there. she had supposed to have been, joining them for the annual dinner her father had demanded take place at least once a month. but training had run over, the english quidditch team training to the bone, ready for the next world cup. and thus she'd been over two hours late. ( long enough for her life to change!   )  payne also knew before long, her own past would catch up to her. she'd been dodging the wizard assassins for years, hidden behind her fame and her father's promise. and after his death, she'd had to revert to some old habits, to dig into old connections. TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED. and thus she knew a bounty would once again be on her head, her sins catching up to her. but she'd needed her answers [ ... ] needed to know who it was that took her family from her. who removed her safety net.   she just never expected it to be him.    for it to be someone, with whom she shared her days, as well as his bed [ ... ] their relationship going from enemies to lovers, but now she couldn't help but wonder. was she still his enemy, or did he not know, how he'd changed her life forever.

                she'd grown cold as a consequence    ━   her knowledge causing her to push him away.   it was almost reminiscent of when they had been enemies. almost. as at least then she gave him some attention, if only to throw jibes and insults at him. but now she offered nothing but silence, nothing but distance. and she knew one day it would come to a head. that he'd begin to question just what was wrong. no longer able to use the excuse of the world cup.    (    after all he was training for it too!    )    and just like she'd predicted it had become too much. his living room becoming the scene of the crime, in regards to his patience with her finally snapping. at his words, hazel eyes lift to lock on him, all emotions trapped behind a wall, as her tongue darts out to wet her drying lips, as she contemplates how to go about it [ .... ] how to let him know thats she was aware that her family's blood stained his hands. eyes trail momentarily over to the corner, where her coat was idly thrown along side his, a memory from days past, when things were better, when she didn't know. and it gives her enough strength to finally meets his eyes.     ❛   think back two months ago, and you'll know what you did to me!   ❜    she spits, her words full of nothing but malice. as she finaly breaks the damn on her emotions. finally letting them render the air to be as poisonous as it should be.     ❛   did you know i was supposed to be at dinner that night?. so tell me, Dragă mea!, would you have killed me too?   ❜   

🎁 66 ( any verse ) ( Nur Dich by Nimo, Darden )

She had been cold lately, it wasn't hard to tell. Hell, she was practically ignoring him and he couldn't figure out why. Well, he knew one reason and it wasn't because she knew. She couldn't know, right? He was too good for that. Andrei hadn't been caught yet, the authorities never knowing when he was the one who was sent to kill some of the more powerful witches and wizards. Her family had been no different. Well, he didn't know it was her family until after he had already killed them. But there was no way she knew that, she couldn't. Eventually, the attitude and the ignoring became too much and as they stood there after getting no where he couldn't help but explode. "Tell me, what have I done to you?!" He finally shouts. "Why are you acting like this??"

Spotify Wrapped | Accepting | @hellsurvivr