#next chapter might also take a while bc I have to move all of my writing to a new platform (not google docs ripping off my data to train ai

[nevada-wrytes]

Chapter 5 - A Black Heart Laced with Neon Green Ribbons

Content Warnings: mentions of violence, cemeteries, and death

Link to the previous chapter and link to the next chapter

Part Two: Curses

There was only so long one could ignore a growing pile of “jobs” and “responsibilities” and “duties” before someone came in and pushed the stack over.

Raven was met with such a situation as he powered on the obsidian tablet that most citizens of the Underneath used to communicate (because cell phones, as they say, were for losers). Immediately, message upon message began popping up, most from annoyed clients who demanded a discount for late services. He ignored them all, even some warbled garbage sent by an unknown sender, but stopped when he got to one name in bold.

Boss (derogatory): Come see me.

A time and place were not specified, yet Raven knew exactly what it meant. He had no desire to go back to the Underworld, much less the City of the Dead, and he definitely did not want to meet with him.

With an weary sigh, Raven took a sip of his drink, finding comfort in the puffs of steam that curled out of the teacup.

Usually, cafés were uncomfortable places filled with too much noise and movement, but this one was nice. It was owned by an old friend, although she wouldn’t like to be called that, who took pride in preserving the ancient space as it had been a hundred years ago in the midst of the Roaring Twenties.

Raven liked the effect that the dark furniture and dim lighting cast, it felt both mysterious, edgy, and easy to disappear in. Among the swamping leather sofas and bursting bookshelves, he was just an ordinary guy enjoying a cup of tea. Maybe he’d pick up a book or put on a record. Life was simple, it didn't matter that Dahlia was dead. It didn’t matter that she was the fourth girl (along with two other guys) who’d met an untimely demise all because they decided to fall in love with the wrong person. Him.

Maybe it is a curse. Maybe he accidentally pissed off some deity and is unknowingly passing the misfortune on to some poor mortals. The fortune teller from before did seem especially ire with him...

Whatever. Now was not the time to genuflect. The glowing red text on the obsidian tablet in his lap provided an excellent distraction.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” he muttered to the air as he stood up and dusted himself off. He stuck a wad of cash under his used saucer and turned to leave.

And was met with a very dirty, very prickly, broom to the face.

"Heyyyyyyyyy Margie," he casually said, emphasizing the nine Y’s at the end of ‘hey’ to prove his casualness.

The woman behind the broom, an older lady that looked like she was straight out of a boxing match, stared him down. She was taller than him, larger than him, and had biceps that looked like they bench pressed willowy teenage boys just like him.

If it wasn’t for the affectionate tilt of her mouth and the crow’s feet around her eyes she would have given even him a scare.

“Get the hell out of my café you rat." Although there was no real anger behind her words, Raven put his hands up, and backed away slowly.

“I mean no harm, Margi— I’m just stopping by— love what you’ve done with the place by the way.”

“Hmp.” Margi folded her huge biceps over her chest. “Am I s’posed to assume all of that’s true?”

“Ughhhhhh..”

Raven needed a way out of this conversation that contained the least amount of fists to his face. Luckily, Margi saved him the trouble of formulating some brain dead reply.

“What do you want.” A statement, not a question. “You know I don’t serve any criminals no more.”

Raven tried a laugh fit for a guilty man. “Criminal? Who— me? Pfftt..”

Margi gave him a Look.

“WELL ANYWAYS,” he began, as if being louder would erase the awkwardness of the subject, “ignore the details— do you, by any chance, still exchange demonic currency?”

៴

Like every other heartbroken teen, Raven had spent the past few days wallowing into tubs of lemon sorbet and Tinkerbell reruns. He didn’t actually cry, but just the thought of it was enough to make even the most waterproof mascara run.

However, just like any coming of age film, there has to be a point where enough is enough, where maybe the best friend comes in to pull the protagonist out of their moping by the hair and gets them to snap out of it. Unfortunately, Raven has to be his own best friend in this case, and pulling yourself together was much more difficult alone.

Regardless of if he enjoyed it or not, there was work that needed to be done, so he slapped on some kick-ass eyeliner and put on some kick-ass boots to go thlunking through the cemetery— because that was a normal thing to do.

Raven had a complicated relationship with cemeteries. He appreciated the lengths people would go to honor their loved ones, maintaining graves even generations later when there was no one left alive to remember the kind of person the body in the ground used to be, but grave sites also brought about a sort of stillness within him that he absolutely hated.

Even the air was calm, despite it being night and definitely much creepier when the corroded angel statues looked at you with weeping eyes. He felt like he could breathe again, for the first time since— Mother knows how long.

And if he could stay and recharge for hours, Raven felt, with no doubt, he would have enough will to charge into Hell itself and bring back Dahlia, and Rose, and Martin, and River…

Maybe he hated cemeteries because they reminded him of the people he lost. If he looked around, how many of the graves were there because of him?

His chunky boots slammed into the hard packed earth as he walked, a comforting thump in the silence. It had stopped raining ages ago, but the grass was still wet and now that the coolness of the night set in, condensation seemed to hang in the air like wet laundry strung out to dry.

The place was silent, not a rustle of wind or chirp from a cricket to break it up. That was why the voice boomed across the mossy gravestones like an uppercut.

"Oh my my! Don't we have a special guest here tonight!"

A young girl appeared out of the fog as if xe was a hallucination. She sat on top of a giant mausoleum in the center of the cemetery, swinging xer stockinged legs freely. They made hollow thumps when they hit the stone, giving the impression she was moreso a wooden doll come to life rather than a person.

And she did look like a doll, with a tiny figure and ruffled dress consisting of only the colors black and neon green. However, what xe lacked in intimidation factor, xe made up for by carrying a huge metal club that was also swinging at her feet.

Raven stepped closer, near enough to see her delicately painted face.

"Hello, Arcane. Still on gate duty I see."

The girl opened her mouth in what could have been a grin, if someone learned how to smile by listening to instructions of how to move your face muscles rather than seeing the real thing happen in person. Xer teeth were black as coal, and so was her tongue.

"Oh you would like that, wouldn’t you~” She started in a sing-songy voice, but then, after Raven raised a brow, xe cleared her throat, cheeks flushing.

“Nah, I'm just filling in for this Jack kid. Heard you were coming back and just couldn't wait to see ya."

She pushed off the building and dropped down next to him. Or.. not quite right next to him, because she was floating in the air a short, safe distance off, something that requires way too much energy just to remain on eye level with him.

Raven snorted, spirits and their vanities, and tossed her a sack of newly acquired gold.

Arcane snatched the gold out of the air before he had so much of a chance to blink, and began counting the coins. The next few moments were silent, other than the sharp click of metal being dropped back into the bag.

Although Raven really hated his job, one of the few benefits was learning how to read people— and finding a way to use that to his advantage.

Arcane was a wrathful entity— a spirit given flesh with the promises of cold revenge— or something else along those lines. What that meant was she had a passion, but unfortunately xe also had a big, big contract with some Guardian of Death in the way of that passion. So, the sooner she paid off xer debt, the faster she would be freed into the world to wreck as much havoc or despair as she so pleased.

And that, friends, is a very good bargaining chip.

“How many do you have patrolling the perimeter?” In less than a moment Raven had reclaimed her spot on top of a mausoleum as if it were his throne, forcing Arcane to turn quickly if xe didn’t want xer back to him. She looked stricken.

“What? How did you- how did you know that?” The wobble in her voice betrayed her as she clutched the sack of money to her chest like a shield.

Raven tilted his head. “You think I wouldn’t know? Come out, come out, wherever you are, demons.”

A shadow condensed in the corner, spitting out a humanoid beanpole who began frantically signing to Raven, some stuff about begging for mercy which was complete overkill since it’s not like he would actually kill any of them.

“Ah, just Neroli? I was expecting a bigger army for my visit.” He began signing too, now that he needed them both present in the conversation.

Raven didn’t know much about Neroli other than the fact he was some sort of low-tier entity like Arcane, but he did know that the two of them together had a special affinity that he so desperately needed.

"I want a quiet entrance into the Underneath, one that doesn’t appear on any radars, and I know you two can do it. I’m willing to pay handsomely, by the way.”

Arcane sniffed at the ‘handsomely’ part. Xe’d already counted the money and knew it was jack shit compared to what others would pay. That's why Raven was very much counting on his fear factor to get him what he wanted.

"Can't you already portal directly into the City-" Arcane began the accusation with an irritating huff, but was cut off by a warning nudge from Neroli.

The boy looked ready to lay his life on the line for Raven, probably as a thank you for not ending it so soon. (Again, Raven wasn’t going to, he needed them both alive, or, in whatever in-between state they were in currently.)

"Will you open the gate or not?" He forced his voice to sound terribly bored with this conversation, regardless if his entire body was screaming for them to say yes. If he wanted things to go smoothly in the City of the Dead he needed to get in (and hopefully out) quick.

Luckily, neither of them sensed the urgency, and after a private conversation, Arcane begrudgingly agreed.

"Fine, we will. But don’t spread the word that we can be bought for cheap, ya hear?"

Raven agreed with a polite smile, and once the deal was brokered, they all eased back into comfortable familiarity. Arcane switched back to her haughty personality and Neroli poked fun at xer whenever he got the chance. Raven, too, joined them as if they were old friends, enough to keep everyone laughing and chipper until he was through the gateway and in the bleak gray lands of the Underneath.

Tag list: @thebonecarver @victorfrankingstein @confused-as-all-hell @iambecomeyourvillain @brekkercookie @fallen-from-olympus @purpl-cryptid @reyyya @thecurlychameleon @naz-yalensky @thesexypanda-boo @kazoo-the-demjin @twelve-kinds-of-trouble @crime-mastergogo

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 17- No Ifs, Ands, or Butts

Summary: You and Javi are continuing to make progress on building your new house, until a few distractions are thrown your way that you definitely weren't expecting.

Word Count: 12.3K (how bad is it that I'm like, wow! What an average length for a chapter! Well done, me!)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), HELLO, STRAP IN EVERYONE. unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl pls), romantic? ANAL (you guys, I'm sweating), vaginal fingering, anal fingering, oral (f receiving), rimjob (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink, insecurity but Javi being our consent KING and literally taking such good care of you (but would we expect anything less?!), Javi with dogs (hehehehe), everyone say thank you to our favorite village idiots Carter and Miller for helping out Javi and Osita (you'll see!!)

A/N: If there are two words to sum up the plot of this chapter, it is butts and dogs (if you watch Bluey, yes, the puppy is named after Muffin LMAO) 💀 I am so sorry this chapter took FOREVER, 1) Life has been crazy busy (parent teacher conferences sucked the life out of me for like a full week), and 2) I would be lying if I said I was not shakin' in my boots to post this bc I have never written legit butt stuff smut (say that 3 times fast) before and I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, so if you don't wanna read this chapter/skip the smut I will not be offended at all!! Also for my non-American friends, Home Depot is like a giant hardware store (that also sells hot dogs that absolutely slap) Okay, that's all, love y'all more than words, forehead kisses for all of you!! 😙 also please laugh at the name of this chapter I thought it was funny as hell, I'm crackin myself up

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“Okay, we have paint samples, countertop samples, carpet samples, sheets of drywall, toilets that are ordered can come get picked up on Tuesday, and we can let Danny know they finally have those screws he’s been looking for back in stock. That’s everything, right? Please say that’s everything.” You sighed, going over your home project to-do list for what felt like the 47th time before exiting out of Home Depot for what also felt like the 147th time this week. 

What had started as a plot of land and and a head full of ideas was slowly but surely becoming reality as progress on your new home came to fruition- as winter faded into spring, your house began to grow and change with the seasons, bare bones wooden beams and dirt of a few months ago now becoming walls, floors and roofs of the new place you’d spend forever in. While it was exciting to move into the stages of actually deciding what the inside of your home should look like (not just shape and size), it felt like you and Javi had been making a million and one decisions every day related to something to do with the house, and unfortunately, this Sunday night was no exception. 

“No, I think that’s everything.” Javi nodded, scanning over the wrinkled piece of paper in his hands once more. 

“We might as well just start changing our permanent address to this Home Depot. I’m pretty sure the employees are convinced we live here at this point.” You laughed, resting one hand on your hip, the other full of the sample swatches you and Javi needed to look at when you got home. “You sure that’s everything? Honestly, even if it’s not, let’s face it, we’ll be here some point later this week anyways. At least now it’s getting to the fun stuff- Paint and floors is a lot more fun than plumbing and electrical.” 

“I know. We’re almost there, Osita. Danny said 8 to 10 more weeks last time I talked to him.” 

“Over/under on how many more trips we make to Home Depot between now and then. I’m gonna say 56.” 

“You’re such a dork. I fucking hope it’s not 56.”

The two of you made your way out to the parking lot with hands full of goods, the sun slowly beginning to set behind the other buildings of the shopping center- a Chinese restaurant, a laundry mat, a building that had been under construction since your frequent trips to Home Depot began, and a pet store. 

You and Javi had tried the Chinese restaurant once, a few bites in simultaneously agreeing it was 100% the worst food you had ever had, never needed to go to the laundry mat, and god knows what the mystery building was getting turned into. You had, however, always wanted to go into the pet store, knowing it would be fun to walk around and look at the animals since it was something you loved doing as a kid with your brothers. But by the time the two of you were done with your hardware shopping, your brain was too fried to ever ask Javi if he wanted to go in and check things out as an entertaining thing to do. Tonight probably would have been no exception to the rule, but that was before you noticed the big sign posted in front of the store reading “Dog Adoption Event Today!” 

You and Javi had both agreed you had wanted to get a dog- that was something the two of you had easily agreed upon early on in your relationship- but like most things nowadays, you were waiting until the house was finished and you were out of the apartment before looking into getting one. You knew that going to look at dogs before the two of you could really do anything about it was a bad idea, but the longer you stared at that sign, the less and less willpower you began to have to keep yourself from running over there. 

“Jav.” You nudged, the two of you almost to Javi’s truck before stopping in your tracks, gesturing over to the pet store. Javi paused next to you, taking a moment to read the bright bold letters of the sign, letting out a deep sigh as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Baby, you know we can’t get a dog right now. Believe me, I want one too, but we gotta wait until the house is done first.” 

“I know. Can we just go look? Please?” While your puppy dog eyes were no match compared to Javi’s, you pouted your lip just about as far as it could go, batting your lashes at him with a pitiful frown on your face. You had no idea how Javi was ever going to be able to say no to your kids if he was already immediately caving from your silly, overexaggerated begging, let alone his own sweet brown eyes staring back at tiny versions of him. Regardless, right now, Javi’s lack of iron will was working in your favor, letting out another small sigh, contemplating for a moment before nodding his head in agreement. 

“Fine. But just looking, okay?” He muttered, almost as if he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince you. 

“Yes! Thank you! I promise, just looking… Probably.” You grinned, changing directions and speed walking across the parking lot towards the pet shop. Javi laughed to himself, shaking his head as he followed behind you. 

“I heard that.” 

As you walked through the front doors of the pet store, you were greeted with the sounds of high pitched barks and yaps, joining the few people gathered by the pen set up to contain the litter of what looked to be a mix of cattle dogs and something shorter and stumpier, the brown and cream speckled puppies bouncing and playing with the toys, blankets, and other littermates in the cage with them. You audibly let out a gasp as you looked down at the pure adorableness of the sweet little balls of fluff below you, squatting down next to the pen to get a better look at the group of puppies. 

“Oh my god, they’re so cute. Javi, they’re so freaking cute. Hi lil babies, aren’t you the most precious things ever?” You cooed, holding the back of your hand up to the cage for the playful puppies to sniff, their tiny bodies toppling over each other to smell you. 

As much as Javi wanted to be tough and strong willed to try and prove a point, you were right- these puppies were the cutest things he’d seen in a long time. Crouching down next to you, he glanced over, giving you the I told you this was a bad idea look that you knew you were bound to get from him the moment you saw the puppies. 

“They are really fucking cute.” Javi sighed in reluctant agreement, bringing his hand down by yours to try and pet some of the puppies through the cage. 

“Oh hi there! I see you two found the puppies!” An employee, an older woman with curly gray hair, smiled down at the two of you, gesturing towards the pen full of tiny, yapping pups. “Are you interested in adopting one?” You and Javi looked up at her, each of you letting out a deep breath before speaking at the same time, your answers lacking unison. 

“No.” 

“Maybe.” You quietly whispered under Javi’s no, letting out a little shrug, eyes darting away towards Javi to spare yourself from the eye roll you knew he was giving you from your response. “No, we’re not…” You finally agreed, giving another pouty, sad look to Javi. “We really want one, but we’re in an apartment right now and are moving into a house soon. We’re waiting until then to get one. Although these guys are making it very hard to keep it that way.” 

“I can understand that.” The woman laughed, a playful grin spread across her face, clearly sensing your willpower about the situation was much weaker than Javi’s. “Well, even if you’re not interested in adopting one right now, you’re more than welcome to pick them up or play with them! It’s good for them to practice being handled anyways.” 

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Immediately, you stood up, bending over the edge of the pen to pick up one of the puppies closest to you, cuddling it against your chest as it squirmed and wiggled in your grasp. You sat bag down on the floor, cross legged as you cradled the puppy, eyes almost as wide and sweet as the dog you were now holding. “What’s this one’s name?” You asked the woman, carefully setting it down between your legs to let it bounce around. 

“That one is Muffin. He’s a feisty one, but a sweetheart.” She beamed, slowly bending down to pick up one of the stuffed toys in the cage, handing it over to Javi. Before you knew it, Muffin was scooting out of your lap and bolting over to Javi and the plush rabbit he was holding in his hands, making the both of you giggle at his goofy, floppy gallop. Javi held out the toy in front of him, a smile spreading across his face as Muffin bit down into the rabbit, shaking it in his mouth, tugging back at Javi’s grip on the stuffed animal. Any shred of stubbornness Javi was trying to hold out on was long gone, smiling and snickering just as wide as you as Muffin hopped into Javi’s lap, curling up with his toy in his mouth. 

Javi was like a little kid, practically giggling as he grabbed the stuffed rabbit and tossed it along the floor, watching Muffin slip and slide across the linoleum before pouncing on the toy and trotting back to Javi with it in his mouth. 

“Good boy! You’re smart, aren’t you?” Javi grinned, tugging at the toy before looking back at you and your look, screaming, So much for just looking, huh? without having to say a word. “He is really cute.” Javi admitted, trying his best to keep his composure from completely crumbling. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, giving each other the look that made you seriously contemplate if you were going home with a puppy today, until you looked back down at Muffin, now hunched over Javi’s foot, pee dribbling down his shoe. 

“Oh shit!” You grimaced, reaching up to pick up Muffin mid-stream, scooting him over to finish peeing on the floor instead of on Javi. 

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!” The woman gasped, grabbing some towels next to the cage, handing them off to Javi for him to wipe the pee off his shoe. “That is the thing with puppies, the potty training does take a while.” 

You were trying your best not to burst out into laughter as you picked Muffin back up, putting him back in the pen with the rest of his brothers and sisters, giving Javi and apologetic shrug at his current circumstances, knowing it was not helping your in any way shape or form to bring a puppy back to your apartment. “No it’s all good, no worries.” Javi smiled, wiping off his shoe with the towel and giving it a quick shake with a reluctant sigh, grounding him back in reality. 

“Can’t be any worse than stepping in a pile of cow poop.” You teased as Javi looked down in disappointment at his shoe, finally beginning to shake his head and laugh along with you. “Alright, you win, Mr. Reasonable. Muffin has made a very good case for no puppies at the apartment.” 

“Eventually baby, I promise.” Javi smirked, giving you a little nudge, the two of you waving goodbye to the cuteness corralled in the kennel behind you, finally making your way back to the car after your detour. 

Well… So much for that plan.  

“What about this one?” 

“Baby, I don’t know, at this point, they all just look like the same color.” You sighed, slumping your hand in your face, resting your elbow on the kitchen table where you and Javi sat, paint swatches spread across the wooden surface, among scattered samples of carpet, countertops and backsplash tiles. “I don’t think my brain can make any more house decisions tonight.”  

“Me either.” Javi huffed, reaching across the table to organize the paint sample cards into a pile next to the stack of other house things that now seemed to have a permanent home with you during dinner time. “I had no fucking idea there were so many goddamn shades of beige.” 

“It definitely doesn’t help that we’re trying to just pick through different shades of brown instead of fun colors.” You laughed, gathering the samples in front of you and stacking them in Javi’s pile as he stood up, pushing in his chair and making his way to the other side of the table where you sat, coming behind you to drape his arms over your shoulders, pressing a soft kiss into your hair as you leaned your head back into his chest, wrapping your arms around his to pull him closer. 

“Fun colors? What, you wanna paint the house purple, Hermosa?” Javi smiled, giving you a little shake in your chair making you giggle. 

“No, you dork. I was actually thinking more hot pink or neon green.” You retorted, giving Javi a nudge back tiling your head up towards him. “No, I don’t know, I know we want something neutral through the house but like, it’ll be fun to pick cute paint colors when we have kids and stuff.” 

Javi squeezed you a little tighter, his heart warming at the thought of when they’d get to do this again when there were actually kids in the picture to fill the empty rooms of their house. No matter how many times you and Javi talked about it, he was sure he’d never get over the fact that you wanted to have a family with him. It was a dream that had come and gone for him all those years ago, resigning himself to a life of simply surviving, even after he had returned home to Laredo. But now, the fact that dream was in reach, and undoubtedly in the near future had him beaming, knowing there was no one else in the world he wanted to spend the rest of his life and build a family with beside you, and that for some reason he still couldn’t quite comprehend, you felt the same way. 

While you had agreed that you would wait until you were married and your house was completely finished before you started trying and your birth control made its permanent home in the trash, with every day that he got closer to marrying you, finalizing your house and starting the newest chapter of your lives together, Javi couldn’t help but feel a want, no, a need, to start a family with you- to fulfill a purpose he so desperately craved to be a father. 

“Well…” Javi grinned, leaning back down to kiss your neck, his pecks becoming much more tender and slow with each press of his lips, “you could let me put a baby in you right now, and we could pick out fun paint colors along with the borning brown ones. Got a lot of rooms we need to fill and paint, Osita.”

“Javier Peña! You are a menace! You have to stop with the baby talk, or I swear, you’re about to make me cave in and crumble. You are testing every ounce of willpower I have.” You sighed, shaking your head as you looked up, entranced by Javi’s sweet brown  eyes and their powerful effects. 

While you and Javi both had undeniable cases of baby fever ever since you had gotten engaged, there was something about knowing you were about to have your own house with 4 extra rooms, solely built for the purpose of being filled with your kids that drove you, and even worse, Javi, absolutely crazy. In the past few weeks, the house had taken shape enough to finally have rooms that actually looked like rooms, Javi making it a point every time the two of you went over to check on progress, to point out just how good the spare bedrooms looked, like he was the most proud of those 4 extra rooms more than any other space in the house.   

The irrational part of you would have given him a baby yesterday, but the rational part of you knew you wanted to be married and have every last inch of that house finished before you brought a baby there. But every time Javi saw those bedrooms, looking at you with that big, goofy grin on his face for his children that didn’t even exist yet, oh god, did it make you want to say fuck it to every ounce of rationality you had left. 

“I think you have baby fever worse than I do, Jav. And that’s saying something.” You teased, reaching up to scrunch his cheeks. With another little giggle and content sigh, you pushed yourself up out of your chair, coming around the back of it to get the slightest running start to jump on him, full koala style, wrapping your arms and legs around his broad back, making the two of you burst out in laughter as he spun you around while you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck, covering him with little kisses. “I love you so much. You’re gonna be such a good dad, you know that?” 

“I love you too, Osita. I hope I am. I want to be.” Javi sighed, a hopeful half smile pursed between his lips, causing you to cup both your hands around his face, forcing him to look at you. 

“You will be. I promise.” Tilting your head in, you pressed a soft, tender kiss onto his lips, lingering just a little longer than normal for your added reassurance. “Alright, I gotta get down now though, we have dishes we have to put away, and I have to shower tonight since I have a staff meeting tomorrow morning before school and I don’t wanna have to get up earlier than I need to.” 

“Un beso más (One more kiss).” Javi smiled, gripping a little tighter on your thighs wrapped around his legs, refusing to let go until you fulfilled his request. 

“Solamente un beso más? Por qué no dos? Tres? (Only one more? Why not 2? 3?)” You giggled, one of your hands running through the thick curls of his hair, while the other traced soft circles along his jawline. 

“Me gustaría darte todos los besos, Osita. Te daría cualquier cosa. (I’d give you all the kisses, Osita. I’d give you anything.)” Leaning in, your mouths met again in a soft and sweet moment, a kiss that felt like he meant it- He would give you the world if you asked for it, and then some. 

“God, I could kiss you forever. Alright, Romeo, put me down, we got things to do, and if you don’t, I know for a fact none of those things are getting done.” 

“Fine.” He sighed overdramatically, letting your legs fall to the floor as he released his grasp. “I’ll clean up dinner and you can go take a shower.” 

“I can help with cleaning up, Jav. You made dinner, the least I can do is-” 

“Go get your ass in the shower. I’ll clean it up.” He smiled, planting a kiss on the top of your head before gesturing towards the bathroom, making you cross your arms over your chest with an unseriously stern look on your face. 

“Are you trying to tell me that I smell? Rude. Sure you’re not the one who needs to shower after your foot got covered in piss?” You raised an eyebrow at him, trying your best not to laugh. 

“Go shower, you dork.” Javi chuckled, giving your ass a playful slap as you parted ways, sticking your tongue out at him as you disappeared down the hallway and into the bathroom.

After a long, and even hotter shower than usual (considering you didn’t have to account for Javi’s temperature complaints), you wrapped yourself up in your towel and headed back to your room, where you found Javi laying in bed, reading one of the books you had been teasing him about for the past few weeks as it sat on his nightstand, unopened, even though he insisted he really was going to read it soon. As if the fact that him finally opening up and reading the book wasn’t enough to taunt him about, the way his face scrunched as he squinted at the pages certainly was. 

“You doin’ alright over there, Grandpa? Jav, you just have to give in and get glasses, you know you can’t see anything, stop trying to fight it.” You giggled, your appearance in the bedroom catching Javi’s attention, making him rest his open book over his stomach. 

“I don’t need glasses. I can see just fine. I’d look stupid in them, anyways.” He grumbled, refusing to admit that you were right even though he knew just as well as you that his eyesight was definitely not what it once was. He let out another sigh, dogearring the page of his book and setting it on his nightstand, his grumpy demeanor quickly shifting as you gave him that playful smirk you always did when you wanted to rub something in to prove your point. You let out another laugh as Javi rolled his eyes at you, shifting himself on the bed to lay on his side, face resting in his palm with those sweet puppy dog eyes that never left your sight any time he watched you get ready, even if all it meant was putting on one of his oversized shirts and sleep shorts to go to sleep in. 

“Yeah, okay.” You replied, your voice oozing with sarcasm. “And you wouldn’t look stupid in glasses, you look hot in anything, and I’m sure you would look extra hot with 20/20 vision.” 

“Pendejo…” 

“You love me.” 

The two of you laughed as you shuffled through the drawers of your dresser, pulling out one of Javi’s t shirts to wear to bed along with a pair of underwear and cotton shorts, piling the clothes next to you as you unwrapped your towel drying yourself off once more before letting it drop to the floor so you could change. You could see Javi’s reflection staring back at you, more specifically, your ass in the mirror, an awestruck and lustful look growing in his eyes as you reached over to pick up your shirt. 

“I can literally feel your eyes burning a hole through my ass, Jav.” You sassed, smirking back at him through the mirror as you watched him bite down on his lip. 

“Fuck, I love your ass so much, you know that?” Javi rasped, his tongue gently darting between his lips, eyes still locked on your behind. 

“Yes, Javi, you are very adamant about letting me know how much you love it.” You snickered, slipping his shirt over your head, followed pair your pair of underwear, opting to completely forgo your shorts to play into his comment. You crawled up into bed next to him, nudging him over so his back laid on the mattress and you laid on top of him, pressing a soft, slow kiss against his lips as his hands roamed down your back, sneaking under the hem of your shirt to knead the soft flesh of your ass, letting out a low groan as your mouths met. 

“Because it’s fucking perfect.” He hummed, gripping his fingertips even deeper into your skin after sliding them under the thin, cotton fabric covering it. 

“Wow, someone’s in a mood about my butt tonight. Didn’t know your giant t-shirt and my plain ass underwear was really doin’ it for ya.” You joked, a little grin spread across your face as you ran your hands through Javi’s hair before sliding them down his face to cup his jaw. It didn’t take long for you to realize that the look on Javi’s face had quickly turned from one of lust to deep thought, his brow scrunched and nostrils flared, making you tilt your head in confusion. “What’s wrong?” You asked, immediately noticing the shift in his demeanor. “You only get that look when you’re really thinking hard about something, or you have to fart and you’re trying to hold it in, and I’m really hoping it’s not the second one.” 

Your comment was enough to snap him out of his own thoughts, making him shake his head as the two of you laughed, Javi still holding back slightly as his eyes shifted down towards the mattress, practically hearing the gears in his brain turning, when all of a sudden, it clicked with you. 

Oh shit. 

The combination of his stare down and silence told you everything you needed to know. 

You tilted his chin back up towards your face, a curious smirk stretched between your lips as you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“You wanna fuck my ass, don’t you?” 

Your voice was sweet and sultry, immediately making Javi’s face go blank in shock that you had connected the dots before he had even said anything. You could hear your heart pounding in your chest almost as loudly as Javi’s, a nervous swarm of butterflies filling your stomach as you waited for him to respond. 

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it before. There had been plenty of times that Javi had put a thumb or fingers in your ass when he fucked you from behind, and holy shit, did it feel good whenever he did it. You’d honestly debated bringing it up before, but there was a part of you that could never bring yourself to do it because you never had, and you couldn’t help but feel nervous about it. 

It wasn’t that you didn't trust Javi- You’d trust him with your whole life without a second thought. There had never been a time since the moment you first had sex that your comfort wasn’t always his first priority. But with how full Javi felt inside you with just a thumb or a finger, couldn’t help but make you feel a little worried with how big he’d feel with his whole dick inside your ass. 

You also couldn’t help but feel a preemptive guilt if it ended up being too much and you had to ask him to stop, not that he would ever make you feel bad about it, but still, you couldn’t help but play out worse case scenarios in your head. But something about that look in his face as he stared you down in the mirror and head turning deep in thought was enough to spark that little flame of confidence you had brewing and beat him to the punch. 

“Hermosa…” He paused, the Adam's apple of his throat bobbing as he gulped, taking an anxious deep breath. “Baby, I-” 

“Do you?” 

The tightened grip of his fingers in your ass, gentle nod of his head and the low groan releasing from his chest was all you needed to know to figure out the answer to your question without even needing Javi to say a single word. His free hand mirrored yours, cupping your cheek as the two of you locked hungry gazes with each other, Javi now finally working up enough confidence to respond. 

“I want to so fucking bad.” Javi rasped, his dark brown eyes filled with a mix of desperation and need for reassurance. “But if you don’t want to, I don’t ever want to make you do something you’re not comfortable with. I promise, I won’t be upset about it at all.” The confident facade you had been fronting quickly began to crumble, your body flooding with a combination of nerves and excitement. 

“I do, I just- I- I’ve never done it before.” You weren’t sure how your voice had gotten so small and meek- maybe it was the reality of what you were about to do setting in at a rapid pace. Something about the sweet, soft innocence of your voice already had Javi hard as a rock, using every ounce of willpower to keep his composure, considering how even just the thought of even getting to put his dick in your ass already had him on edge. 

“That’s okay. Like I said, it’s only if you want to, baby. We can take it slow and if it’s too much, I’ll stop, no questions asked.” 

You could feel your head beginning to gently nod in agreement as Javi’s thumb rubbed soft circles on your jaw, a little smirk forming between your cheeks while your heart raced at a million miles per hour, almost feeling as worked up and nervous as the very first time the two of you had sex all that time ago. 

“I want to.” You whispered, letting your lips meet his in a tender and ferocious passion, muted moans escaping from each of your parted mouths. 

“You’re sure? I don’t want you to say yes just because I want to.” And fuck, could you feel how badly he wanted to, his fully hard dick straining against the fabric of his sweatpants, heavy against your thigh. You were no better despite your nerves, the cotton fabric of your underwear absolutely drenched already without Javi even touching you. 

“I’m sure. I promise.” 

A low groan rumbled deep in Javi’s chest as your mouths met again, Javi flipping you over so your back was flat against the mattress, letting his hands roam along your body while his lips traveled down your neck and collarbone. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, sweet girl. Gonna take my time with you, okay? I promise I’ll make sure you’re ready.” 

“Well I appreciate you just not going straight to shoving your dick into my ass, very gentlemanly of you.” You joked, trying to calm your nerves with your sarcastic wit, Javi practically snorting at your comment. 

“Jesus fucking Christ…” Javi whispered to himself through his laughter, resting his head on your chest as he looked up at you in amusement. 

“Sorry, I’ll stop and let you get back to business.” Javi lay frozen, still staring up at you with his head cocked to the side, eyebrows raised. 

“Osita, you know I love you very much, right?” 

“Yes.” 

“And that since we’ve been together, I’ve learned a lot of things about you? 

“Also yes.” 

“So you know I can tell when you’re nervous about something, right?” 

You let out a defeated sigh, crossing your arms in stubborn defiance, not wanting to admit that you knew Javi’s suspicions were correct. You waited a moment, and with a little frown pursed between your lips, you finally gave in. 

“...Yeah.” 

Javi rolled over next to you, draping one arm over your waist, the other holding his chin in his hand with his elbow propped up against the mattress, his tender gaze locking with yours, filling you with a sense of calm and reassurance you were convinced nothing else in the world could. “Osita, talk to me baby. What are you nervous about?” 

You flapped your arms up before planting them over your face, burying your head in your hands in embarrassment, your words muffled from underneath your palms. “What am I nervous about? Not to stroke your ego any more than it needs to be, but you have a huge dick, Jav. I’m also guessing this isn’t your first time, and it is for me, and you being the first giant dick to ever enter my ass has me a little nervous.” You rambled, your thoughts spilling out of your mouth faster than your brain could process them. “I really want to, I just don’t want it to not be good for you or for you to be upset if we stop or- I don’t know. I don’t want you to be mad about it if I’m the reason for- I- I’m probably overthinking it, I’m sorry.” You let out another deep exhale, averting your gaze from Javi’s staring down at the bed. 

This time, it was Javi’s turn to connect the dots, taking a moment to wonder why you were so worried about making him upset before putting the pieces together, his prediction making him clench his jaw in frustration. “Paul wanted to do it and you said no and he was a fucking asshole to you about it, wasn’t he?” 

Your head instantly shot up, swiveling around towards Javi’s agitated grimace, your face almost as shocked as Javi’s was when you had asked him if he had wanted to do this in the first place. “How… Javi, how did you-” 

“That motherfucker… he didn’t hurt you did he? I swear to God if he did, I’ll fucking fly up to Chicago right now and I’ll-” 

“Jav, Jav, cool your jets, killer.” You laughed softly, pressing your hand to his cheek to try and ground him before he really was on the next flight to Illinois. “No, he never did anything. He said that he wanted to and it kinda came out of the blue- I didn’t really want to at the time, especially not with him. He kept asking and asking and I would tell him no and he got so mad about it. Turns out that was around the time he started cheating on me anyways, and became an even bigger dickhead than he already was. But I always felt so guilty, and that it was my fault he was upset because I didn’t want to. I don’t know- I- I guess maybe this has stuck with me way more than it probably should have.” You could feel your voice shrinking, your eyes darting away once again, mortified by the fact that you completely ruined the moment by bringing up your shitty ex and his blatant lack of respect. “Sorry, I don’t know why we’re talking about this I-“ 

Before you could finish the rest of your sentence, Javi’s lips were on yours, swallowing the rest of your words as your mouths met with a passionate intensity, letting his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you in closer, caging his chest against yours. “Hermosa, you know I would never be mad at you about something like that, right? I love you, Osita, you have nothing to apologize for. All I ever want is to make you feel good, baby. Fuck, that gets me off more than anything else. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.” 

“I trust you, Javi.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, lips grazing over his, giving him a gentle nod of reassurance. “I want you to.” 

You could audibly hear the gulp Javi had let out, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he let out a low groan, tightening the grip he had around your waist. “Want me to what, sweet girl? I wanna hear you say it, baby.” His lips began to travel down your jawline towards your neck, hot and wet presses languidly making their way to your collarbone as he tugged at the end of your shirt, snaking his hands up the soft skin of your stomach. You could feel the heat building in your core, letting out a soft moan as his hands palmed at your breasts, rolling your pebbled nipples between the tips of his fingers. 

“I want you to fuck my ass, Javi.” 

With that, his hands were shuffling your shirt over your head, tossing it over the side of the bed before letting his kisses make their way down your newly exposed skin, letting his tongue flick along each nipple before letting his gaze lock with yours, a small smirk spreading across his face. “I promise I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good, Hermosa. Gonna take good care of you, baby, I swear.” 

“I know.” You nodded, staring back at the hunger pooling in the dark brown of his eyes, practically squirming in the sheets of your bed from the throbbing between your legs, feeling the slick almost dripping down your thighs from just how turned on you were. The grin on Javi’s face had become devilish, biting down on his bottom lip as he snaked his hand down your front, tugging at the waistband of your panties, sliding them down your legs before running a finger through your slit, already drenching him with your arousal. 

“Turn around, baby. Hands and knees, okay?” You could hear the subtle smugness in his tone, giving you a playful squeeze as he grabbed your hips, flipping you over face down on the mattress, making you squeal. You did Javi one better, laying your chest flat against the sheets, lifting your ass up in the air and giving it a little shake, Javi’s hands instantly kneading at the soft flesh in front of him, digging his fingertips deeper into your skin, feeling his hot breath hovering over your cunt. 

Suddenly, you felt a long, wide strip of his tongue through your folds, pressing hard and intensely along your clit before diving in like a man starved, lapping you up as he began to eat you out from behind. Each stroke of his tongue was more persistent than the last, the grip of his hands on your hips pulling your heat closer to his face as he licked and sucked at your throbbing bundle of nerves, the mix of your slick and his saliva coating your inner thighs. His feverish pace already had you fisting at the bedsheets, whimpering and moaning as his mouth worked along your dripping core, making you gasp even further when you felt his tongue begin to travel up towards your tight ring of muscle. 

“Oh holy fuck- Javi, oh my god, baby. Fuck me, oh shit.” You whimpered as Javi’s tongue swirled along your puckered hole, dancing around the edges before dipping inside, the sensation making you shudder in pleasure, feeling Javi’s low hum of approval deep in the back of his throat. If that wasn’t enough, one of the hands that had a tight grip on your ass was now collecting the slick dripping from your entrance, his fingers tracing through your folds before pressing firmly on your clit, the added stimulation immediately making the tingle begin to build at the base of your spine. As he worked at your hole, the pads of his fingers circling your sensitive bundle of nerves you could feel your breath becoming ragged, letting out a few more shaky exhales before your orgasm crashed through you, crying out into the soft fabric of the sheets, pleasure and euphoria flooding your body. 

As you came down from your high, Javi let his hands slide gently up and down your sides, pressing soft kisses along your back until he had made his way up your shoulder blades and neck, whispering tenderly into your ear. “Such a good girl for me, Osita. Came so hard letting me eat out that pretty little ass of yours. You want me to keep going?” 

“Fuck yes, oh my god Javi, please.” You whimpered, shaking your head frantically as you looked back at Javi, already sitting back on his knees to lift his shirt over his head before sitting up to kick off his sweatpants and boxers, letting his cock spring free, precum glistening and weeping from his tip, considering how painfully hard he had been since even the thought of getting to fuck your ass. 

You could feel his body hovering over yours, hands sliding up and down your sides before grabbing at your ass again, placing tender kisses on each cheek before leaning over to the nightstand on his side of the bed, pulling out the bottle of lube and setting it next to him. His hands roamed to your core once again, two fingers dipping into your cunt, curling to hit the soft, spongy spot inside you that already had you moaning again. 

It wasn’t long until his fingers were substituted for his cock, running his tip through your folds, collecting your arousal along his length before slowly pushing inside your pussy, already so wet and worked up, that even with sweet sting of his stretch, he still slid in with ease, setting a steady, even pace as one hand dug into your hip, the other reaching over to grab the bottle of lube, popping open the cap with a click and letting the cool liquid drip over your tight hole, making you gasp. You could feel the pads of his fingers pressing at the entrance to your ass, gently teasing you open with one finger, breeching up to his knuckle, the combination of both his finger and cock inside you making you whimper in pleasure. 

“That’s it. Such a good girl. Fuck, you’re already so fucking tight around my finger. You want another one in there, baby?” Javi mewled, prodding his finger deeper into your hole as he continued to thrust into you, his strokes slow and steady, but still punching deep into your g-spot with each thrust of his hips against the back of your thighs. 

“Yes- oh fuck- yes, oh my god.” You weren’t really quite sure how your brain was still even managing to form words at this point, the warm feeling that had been growing inside you spreading to every inch of your body. The pad of Javi’s second finger teased at your tight hole, collecting ample amounts of you slick and lube before pushing in to join the first, the thickness of both of his fingers making you clench even tighter around his cock and digits as you cried out in delight. 

“Shhhhhh, I know, sweet girl. Relájate (relax) baby, I’ve got you.”  

You could already feel your second orgasm starting to build again, heat beginning to bloom in your belly from the rhythmic pounding of Javi’s dick punching against your g-spot and his fingers prodding at the nerve endings of your ring of muscle, already feeling so full from the stretch of both holes. 

“Fuck, fuck fuck- oh fuck- Javi, I’m gonna cum again, fuckahhhhhhh-” You cried out, letting your second orgasm hit you even harder than your first, clenching down around Javi’s cock and fingers as you grabbed at handfuls of your bedsheets, trying to ground yourself as the intensity of your pleasure ripped through you. 

“There you go, Hermosa. That’s it, baby. Such a good girl. Did so good for me.” He cooed, gently pulling out both his cock and fingers, the emptiness making you shutter as Javi pressed tender, soft kisses down your back before making his way up your neck and nipping at your ear. “You think you’re ready for me, Osita? If not, it’s okay, I only wanna do what you want, mi amor (my love).” 

You took another few ragged breaths to compose yourself, unsure how your brain was even managing to function at this point as you came down from your high, trembling in delight. You nodded before you could speak, Javi letting out a low groan as he sucked at your pulse point, his words hot and heavy against your skin. 

“Need to hear you say it, pretty girl. Tell me what you want and it’s yours.” 

“Fuck my ass, Javi. I want you to fuck my ass, please baby.” You whined, whimpering your words against the soft fabric of your sheets, desperate for more, needing to feel all of him inside you in a way you hadn’t before. 

Javi let out an audible groan as he pulled back, letting his hands roam up your body and back to the lube resting on the bed, once again, popping open the cap and squirting some of the liquid into his palm as he fisted his dick, stroking himself a few times before lining himself up with your tight hole. “You promise you’ll tell me if you want me to stop?” 

You shook your head rapidly, fingers already gripping into the pillow in front of you as you braced yourself for Javi to enter, feeling his tip press against your tight ring of muscle. Suddenly, you could feel the sensation of Javi breeching your entrance, making you gasp at just how full you already felt as he had barely made his way inside you. Javi pushed further in, leaving you practically breathless from the stinging stretch of his cock filling you as he paused halfway, leaning over to check on you. 

“Oh fuck me- You okay, sweet girl?” 

“Mhhmmmmmm. Fuck Javi, you feel so big. Holy shit, baby. Oh fuck.” You gulped, squeezing around Javi’s length as he inched deeper and deeper inside of you, your clit and cunt throbbing as he filled you, the newfound sensation making you see stars. You were so focused on how you were feeling, you had barely noticed how tightly Javis fingertips were gripping into the soft flesh of your ass, like he was bracing himself for dear life as he sunk further and further into your tight hole. 

While Javi had found himself in this position with other women a handful of times before, he had never come close to feeling the same way about anyone the way he did about you- He had been dreaming about the day that you agreed to let him fuck your ass, and now finding himself inside you, knowing he would be the first and the last to ever have you like he was right now, had him on the brink of busting any second if he wasn’t careful. Javi had never been more thankful that you couldn’t see his face, because he knew he looked absolutely wrecked and was struggling to keep the ounce of composure he had left as you gripped around his cock like a vice. 

“Javi, oh shit- Javi, you can move baby.” You moaned, adjusting to his fullness, the initial pain quickly transforming to burning hot pleasure as you gave Javi the green light to keep going. After a few seconds, when Javi had said nothing and hadn’t moved at all, you spoke again, thinking maybe he hadn’t heard you. “Javi, I’m good, you can-” 

“I know, I know, fuck- sorry, baby. Jesus Christ- you’re so fucking tight, Hermosa, fuck me. Give me a second or I’m gonna fuckin’ bust right now.” Javi replied, halfway between a whimper and a moan as he firmly grasped your hips, carefully setting a slow pace as he began to thrust in and out of your ring of muscle, shocked to feel how quickly heat was beginning to bloom in your belly once again, his length languidly sliding in and out of your asshole, filling you and striking new nerve endings you had never felt before making you quickly begin to come undone. 

Your legs began to tremble, grasping at the mattress to brace yourself as you felt your clit throb and cunt clench as the coil in your belly tightened further and further, the lewd noises of your moans and grunts filling the room. 

“Javi, fuckfuckfuck, oh my god, baby I’m so close again, holy fuck.” You cried out, as even just the slightest pick up of Javi’s pace had you reeling closer and closer to the edge of your release. Javi freed one of his hands, snaking it between your legs to rub at your sensitive bundle of nerves, already swollen and pulsing from your first two orgasms, and now even more responsive as the pads of his fingers circled against it. 

Javi wanted desperately to hold out for you and make you cum as many times as you wanted to just like this, but he knew damn well the moment you came and clamped down even harder around his cock than you already were, he was a fucking goner and going right along with you. He needed to give you one more before he also came embarrassingly fast, but he couldn’t help it. 

“Fuck Osita, fuck- I’m not gonna last much longer either, baby. Need you- oh shit- need you to give me one more, pretty girl. Cum for me, Hermosa, I’ve got you.” 

With only a few more strokes and circles around your clit, you were cumming so hard, you were honestly convinced you had blacked out. Your whole body shook as you wailed in delight, squeezing around Javi’s dick so hard it was only seconds before he was following suit, letting a ragged groan escape through his gritted teeth as you milked him of every last drop, Javi bracing himself for dear life with the grasp he had around your hips as he finished. 

Javi slumped over you, the two of you breathing so heavily it sounded more like you had just finished a triathlon more than anything else. He let out a deep hiss as he pulled out, taking a moment to admire his work as he watched his spend drip out your tight hole as your body collapsed onto the mattress. 

You weren’t sure how long you had been laying there before you were finally able to wrangle the brain power to speak again, and even then, the only words that you were able to manage were a quiet “holy fucking shit…” 

Javi flopped down, laying on his back next to you as you rolled over, both of your faces bright and blissed as you stared at one another, almost unsure of what to say. 

“Are you okay?” Javi asked, gently cupping your flushed cheek in his palm. 

“Am I okay? Javi… Holy fuck. I don’t think I have ever cum so hard in my entire life. I honestly thought I blacked out there for a second. Baby… That was, fuck, that was insane.” You half laughed to yourself, shaking your head in disbelief. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fucking great. Holy shit. Sorry I couldn’t last longer, I didn’t think I was gonna go that fast but you felt so fucking good. Thank you, Osita.” 

“Thank you? For what?” You giggled, giving Javi a playful poke on the chest as you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“For this. For trusting me.” 

“Javier Jesús Peña…” You smirked, propping yourself up on your arm to get a better look at him, “I trust you with my life. More than anyone I’ve ever met. I should be the one thanking you for so graciously taking my butt virginity. Wouldn’t want anyone else in there besides you.” 

The two of you burst into laughter, Javi practically letting out a snort as he rolled his eyes at your ridiculous comment. “God, you’re fucking ridiculous. I love you, Osita.” 

“I love you too, Javi. C’mon, let's go shower before your cum sits in my asshole any longer and I get pregnant with your butt baby.” You snickered as you rolled off the bed, making your way to the bathroom. 

“Jesus fucking Christ… Butt baby? Seriously?” He snorted, following behind you, giving you a playful smack on your ass, scooping you up to hike you over his shoulder and fireman carry you to the shower, making you squeal. “You’re so fucking weird.” 

“Weirdo you love enough to put your dick in my ass and make your wife, so that’s on you, Jav.” You giggled as Javi set you down on the cool tile of the bathroom floor, giving him a little shrug before reaching into the shower to turn on the water. 

“And what a fucking lucky man I am.” 

Ever since starting his job at the Laredo Sheriff's Department, Javi had been able to count on a few things every morning when he got into work. Sheryl at the front desk would greet him with a half hearted “Good morning, Javier” , the smell of shitty work coffee would be brewing in the break room, and Agent Carter and Miller already arguing about something stupid at their desks instead of working on anything that actually needed to get done. That’s why when Javi made his way into work on Monday morning and was not greeted by any of those things, he knew his day was getting thrown for a loop- he just wasn’t quite sure how yet. 

“It was their idea, not mine, believe me.” Sheryl grumbled, rolling her eyes as she nodded towards the path to Javi’s office, holding her hands up in defense as if to prove she had nothing to do with whatever was going on beyond her desk. Javi paused, tilting his head and scrunching his brow in confusion at Sheryl before letting out a sigh, and hesitantly making his way back to find out what in the world she was talking about. 

He was surprised by the lack of Miller and Carter’s presence in their desk chairs, and the unusual silence filling the office as Javi turned his head, wondering where everyone was. He peered over the cubicles, looking for any sign of life, until a strange sound caught his attention from behind the door of his office. 

Woof, woof, woof! 

Javi shook his head, convinced he must be hearing things until the low bark repeated, followed by a hush of anxious voices whispering around the corner. 

“Oh no, shhhhhh! Shit, I didn’t think he was gonna bark.” 

“Well it’s a fucking dog, Carter, what the hell did you think it was gonna, do, meow?”

“Maybe he didn’t hear it.” 

“I highly doubt that, dumbass. God, he’s gonna be fucking pissed.” 

“Your idea, not mine.” 

Even though he couldn’t see them, Miller and Carter’s worried whispers were enough to let Javi know he wasn’t imagining the barking coming from behind his office door. Letting out a deep sigh, which sounded a lot more like a groan, Javi carefully twisted open the doorknob to his workspace, only to be greeted by a large, shaggy and very dirty Golden Retriever staring back at him with big brown eyes, happily wagging its tail and shaking excitedly at Javi’s presence. Although Javi had heard the bark from behind his door, it didn’t stop him from doing a double take from the dog now residing in his office, running his hand over his face in a confused frustration as to how and why Miller and Carter had already managed to make his Monday morning a pain in his ass. 

“Why the fuck is there a dog in my office?” Javi half shouted, making Carter and Miller sheepishly appear from around the corner with guilty looks on their faces, avoiding eye contact with Javi as he glared through the two of them, wondering how the hell they were going to try and talk themselves out of this one. 

“Hey Peña, uh, I uh… Listen Miller was the one who brought him in, and he was so cute that I wasn’t not gonna do anything about it and-” 

“Oh, way to throw me under the fucking bus, Carter!” Agent Miller huffed, cutting Carter off in attempts to let the blame completely fall on him. “You agreed we should keep him here so that we could-” 

“Okay, that still doesn’t explain why the fuck there’s a dog in my office.” Javi groaned, cutting off Carter and Miller before they found themselves in a pointless arguing match about how and why there was now a dog happily leaning itself against Javi’s leg, his tail shaking back and forth, completely enamored by Javi. 

It was taking everything in Javi not to reach down and pet him to try and prove a point to Carter and Miller that they had astronomically fucked up the rest of his plans for the morning, but the dog was sure as hell adorable and sweet as could be. 

“Okay, well, I was driving into work this morning, and as I was making my way down that back road past the cattle ranch a few blocks down from here, this guy ran out in the road. Thank God I saw him when I did. I stopped, got out, and he came right up to me, but there was obviously no one with him. He looked relieved that he’d found me. Poor guy is dirty and skinny as hell. He hopped right into my car and ate the rest of my McGriddle which I was kinda pissed about, but I can’t blame ‘em.” Miller sighed, now crouching down to give the dog some scratches on the head before continuing on with his story. “So I went to some of the houses on the street and no one had ever seen this dog before. I called Webb County Animal Control to see if anyone had reported  a missing dog that looked like him, but no one had. I asked if I should take him to the shelter to see if anyone would come for him, but the lady on the phone said if no one’s reported him missing, they probably wouldn’t come for them.” 

“Well tell him what else, Miller.” Carter encouraged, trying to aid in Miller’s defense as he rose back up, standing next to his partner. 

“When I called the animal shelter to ask them what to do, the woman I talked to said the shelter is so full, that if we brought him in and no one claimed him within the next two weeks, that they’d…” Miller trailed off, him and Carter both grimacing, unable to finish the rest of his sentence as he looked down at the gleeful, furry face staring back up at him. “Well, let’s just say that things weren’t gonna look so good for him. I couldn’t bring myself to drop him off, and I wasn’t just gonna fucking leave him, so, I uh- I brought him here.” 

Javi let out a deep sigh, burying his hands in his face for a moment before rubbing his temples, understanding why Miller had done what he did, but nonetheless, still frustrated that now he had become wrapped up in solving a missing dog case. 

“So what? Are you gonna keep him?” Javi questioned, finally giving in to bend down and give the dog a few pats on his side, feeling just how skinny and boney he was as his hand met his belly. 

“Oh no, I can’t keep him. Apartment doesn’t allow dogs. I would if I could.” Miller admitted, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, feeling guilty for his lack of helpful response. 

“What about you? You keeping the dog?” Javi asked, looking over at Carter, giving him a little shrug, hoping he was the solution to his temporary canine problem. 

“Um, no. Sorry. I’m allergic. He’s cute as hell but my eyes have been itching ever since he got here.” 

“So what, he’s just gonna live here? C’mon you guys, really?” Javi grumbled, now crouching down next to the dog, getting a better look at his begging eyes and goofy grin under his panting tongue, giving Javi a few licks on the face in excitement as his tail began to wag rapidly from Javi’s closeness. 

Javi couldn’t help but let out a little laugh as the dog lapped against his face, wrapping his hands around the dog’s head and giving it a playful rub to get the dog to stop before staring back at the sweet, sad eyes staring back at him. He scratched under the dog’s chin before it was snuggling up next to him, comfortably plopping himself down over Javi’s feet and letting out a content little grumble as his tail continued to thump against the floor in joy. 

Javi closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. A deep sigh. Not because he didn’t like this dog. Hell, not even because he was really that mad at the two office idiots for bringing the dog here this morning. Javi let out a long, exasperated sigh, because he could feel the willpower he had preached to you about holding out on a dog until the new house- a conversation he had just had with you last night- was absolutely crumbling. 

He couldn’t come home with a dog, right? He had just spent all of last night convincing you that the apartment wouldn’t be a good place for a dog. But… that was for a puppy. This was a full grown dog. A calm one, at that. A fucking cute one at that. God, it had been 5 minutes and this dog was already attached at the hip to him, and it was probably fair to say that Javi had gotten just as attached, if not more. Carter and Miller were right, with the shape the dog was in, it really did look like no one had been taking care of him, or had any plans to come and find him, and Javi couldn’t bear the thought of sending the dog off to the shelter, knowing his inevitable fate. 

Fuck.

“Okay, well, do you know anything else about him? Are you sure that there’s no one looking for him?” Javi grunted as he pushed himself back up to stand, trying to keep his cool as he looked over at Carter and Miller, their eyes still peeled to the ground in hopes the lack of direct eye contact would lessen their chances of a complete reaming from Javi. 

“No, boss. Only other thing we could find about him was the little tag on his collar, which wasn’t helpful at all, because it only had his name.” Carter shrugged, peeking up at Javi, surprised by the even keel of his tone. Javi bent back down, the dog immediately rolling over on his back and exposing his belly for Javi to pet as he reached towards the dog’s neck, gently tugging at the tethered collar under his tangled fur to read the poorly engraved tag attached, letting out an even bigger sigh and shaking his head in disbelief at the name. 

Bear. 

Of fucking course. As if the universe needed to send him another sign. Of fucking course the dog’s name was the same as his nickname for you, Osita- little bear. 

Javi couldn’t help but laugh to himself, running his hand over his face once again. “Shit. You sure no one’s looking for him?” 

Both Carter and Miller shook their heads, crossing their arms over their chests in sad disappointment at Bear, laying sprawled across Javi’s feet. Letting out one last reluctant exhale, Javi looked back at the pair, nervously awaiting his response before he spoke. 

“If… If no one calls looking for him by the end of the day… I’ll take him home with me.” 

Carter and Miller’s faces lit up in shock and delight, staring at Javi, dumbfounded by what they had just heard. “I mean… Fuck, well… that was way easier than I thought it was gonna be.” Miller half grumbled to himself, glancing over at Carter, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“I obviously don’t have any dog shit at home so I’m gonna have to leave early today to get some, so you two idiots are gonna have to finish up the rest of the paperwork I needed to do this afternoon, we clear?” 

“Yeah, yup- Absolutely. Will do.” The two nodded in agreement, still in shock that the worst they had gotten from their boss from dropping a stray dog off in his office was the rest of his paperwork for the day. 

“Fuck me. Alright, c’mon Bear.” Javi sighed, pushing open his office door, Bear, happily trotting along behind him, tail wagging in delight as Carter and Miller stared back at each other, frozen in shock that they, with very little convincing, had gotten their boss to happily take their furry problem into his own hands. 

If the fact that Bear wasn’t cute as can be was enough to win over Javi, he was also the sweetest, most relaxed dog he’d had ever met. Bear was perfectly content to lay down next to Javi’s desk, letting out content grumbles and sighs as he slept and Javi worked, sprawled out across the floor. Bear also seemed to love everyone he met, joyfully making his rounds around the station with Javi after a failed attempt at leaving him behind in his office, immediately caving to Bear’s sad, lonely whines and big brown eyes from behind the glass of his office window. Around 2:00 PM, after Javi had given Bear the better half of his turkey sandwich for lunch, he found himself just as hungry as that poor dog probably was this morning, deciding to cut his day short to get himself some food, and gather whatever else he needed before bringing Bear back to the apartment. 

Javi thanked whatever higher power that the woman working at the pet store this afternoon was not the same woman he had adamantly convinced last night that he was not coming with a dog, because in the back seat of his truck, sat a dog he was now bringing home. The woman working at the store had helped Javi to find everything he needed for Bear and probably then some, Javi more than thankful for her patience and advice, feeling overwhelmed by what to get for a dog that had landed in his care only a few short hours ago.  

After 2 trips up your apartment stairs to drop off the bed, food, treats and toys Javi had gotten, he made one final trip back for Bear, who had glady hopped out of the truck and followed Javi back to your place after a quick pee on the bush in the parking lot, leaving Javi very thankful the dog had found a spot to relieve himself that wasn’t on his shoe. 

“Well, welcome home, I guess.” Javi chuckled as Bear busted through the apartment door, tail wagging at a propeller like speed as he meandered through the space, sniffing and exploring around the kitchen and living room, before wandering back to the bags from the pet store Javi had set on the ground, giving them a little prod with his snout before sitting next to them, looking up at Javi as if to ask if he could have the food and treats that were inside. “Well… I guess a little more food couldn’t hurt, right?” 

There were very few times where Javi was home from work before you, and when he did, he normally told you before he left, or called you at work to let you know- so when you pulled into the parking lot to see Javi’s truck next to your empty parking space, it was safe to say you were a bit perplexed. You quickly unpacked your bags from your car, making your way up to the apartment, trying to rationalize with your confusion and nerves as to why Javi had beaten you home. As you unlocked your door, you gently pushed it open, now even more confused by the muffled grunts and swearing coming from down the hallway. Dropping your things at the entryway, you quickly began working your way through the apartment to figure out what was going on before you almost tripped and fell over a large dog bed now in the middle of your living room. 

“What the hell…” You murmured to yourself, your brow scrunching in bewilderment as you caught your step over the soft, plushy surface, doing a double take to realize that what had almost taken you to the ground was a dog bed. Looking over, you then noticed the several bags from the local pet store, now even more puzzled as your attention shifted back to the end of the hallway, hearing Javi’s voice as well as the sound of running water and frantic splashing. 

“Goddamnit, will you just stay still please? We’re almost done, bud.” 

Almost sprinting to the bathroom, you pushed open the door to find a pile of towels spread across the floor, Javi kneeling over the side of the tub, shirt absolutely soaked as he held the shower handle towards a goofy, wet, golden retriever dancing around in the other end of the tub as he saw you. 

“Uhhhhhh, Javi… Why is there a dog in our bathtub?” You stood stunned in the doorway, your presence startling Javi as he spun around, dropping the shower handle, making it spray over the walls, leading the dog to playfully bark and shake as it hopped over the ledge of the tub to greet you. 

“No, Bear! Come back here! Fuck. I uh- I can explain, I-” Javi stammered, scrambling to grab the flailing shower head before reaching for the dog to try and wrangle him back into the shower, the rest of his thought cut off by Bear taking one more step towards you before bracing himself for a giant shake, absolutely drenching you as you burst into laughter, wiping your now soaking face with the palms of your hands before reaching down to pet the cheerful dog, wagging his wet tail as he leaned up against your leg. 

You couldn’t help but let the smuggest grin spread across your face, now putting the pieces of the puzzle together. “Bear, huh? You come up with that one?” You giggled, crouching down to greet who you now were presuming to be the newest resident of your household, rubbing his hands over his drenched, furry body, squealing as he licked all over your face. “I thought we couldn’t have a dog in the apartment, Jav, and I hate to break it to you, this is definitely a dog… very much in our apartment.” 

Javi let out a snort, rolling his eyes at you as he reached over to shut off the water, resting his back against the edge of the tub, propping his arms up over the sides as he braced himself to try and explain his current situation to you. “Well…” he grinned sheepishly as Bear paced back and forth between the two of you, his tail swaying side to side as he dripped puddles across the bathroom floor, “I got into work this morning and the first thing I saw was a fucking dog that Carter and Miller had dropped in my office after Miller found him on his drive in.” 

“Which I am assuming is this dog?” You laughed, gesturing towards the giddy Golden Retriever jaunting around the bathroom. 

“Yeah, this one. Miller said that he found him on a dirt road. Called animal control and no one had been looking for a dog that looked like him, and that when he called the shelter, they were so full, that if someone didn’t either come to get him or adopt him in the next couple weeks, that, well… they probably would have to… Fuck, Cater is allergic and Miller can’t have dogs at his place, and I- he’s so sweet, and I couldn’t just let him go so-” 

“So you bought out the better part of the pet store so he could live here with us?” You grinned, raising an eyebrow at Javi as Bear happily sat himself down in his lap, making Javi grunt at the weight of the dog plopping himself down across his legs. 

“I mean… I uh… I-” Javi mumbled, sheepishly looking down at Bear before looking back at you, doing your best to contain your laughter and giggles. “What, Hermosa?” Javi phrased it as a question, even though he already knew the answer- You were never going to let him live this down for the rest of his life. 

“And you thought you needed to be worried about me bringing a dog home without asking.  Does this mean we have a new member of the Peña family?” You smirked, making your way over to Javi and Bear, squatting down on the soaking bathroom floor next to them, pressing a playful peck onto Javi’s cheek as you gave Bear a big scratch. 

“If that’s okay with you.” 

“You’re lucky he’s cute, and you’re lucky you’re cute, too. Yes, of course it’s okay with me. Welcome to the family, Bear Peña.” 

The two of you smiled at each other as you sat on the bathroom floor, a damp and soggy Bear spread across your laps with the happiest and goofiest grin spread over his face, too. While coming home to find Javi wrestling a stray dog in your tub wasn’t exactly how you pictured welcoming the newest member of your family into your lives, in some strange way, it couldn’t have felt more perfect. Getting to grow and share your life together with Javi was all you could ever really ask for, even if that meant a Monday night, soaking wet from a dog bath gone wrong. 

“Okay, well, we should probably dry this goofball off and get his stuff all situated. Poor guy is probably exhausted after all of his adventures today, aren’t ya bud? Do you think we should put the dog bed in our room? I don’t want him to get scared during the night, but I’m not really sure if we should have him up on our bed, ya know?” 

As you pushed yourself up to stand, you waited for Javi’s response, only to be greeted by double the amount of big, brown puppy dog eyes now staring back at you as you turned around. Javi still said nothing, a guilty look growing across his and the dog’s, as you let out a deep sigh, wondering how in the world you were going to build up your immunity to another sweet face that made you crumble. 

“You already let him on the bed, didn’t you, Jav?” 

“.... Maybe.” 

“Like I said, the two of you are very lucky you’re cute.” 

Taglist:

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse

[thatdeadaquarius]

Soon.

☆

With a puzzled squint, you could see the adeptus was running over what you said in his mind, trying to parse out the meaning. Xiao then threw his head up out of his slight bow, almost glaring at you, “There is no task nor person more important than guarding you, my Lord. I will stand guard, worry not about my state.”

Nodding to you, he abruptly turned on his heel to shift to the side of the entrance to the mansion, his spear tall and ready. You’d have twitched a smile at him if you could, as you're sure he’s gotten a little more comfortable with you than when you first officially met. You’re also sure from meeting Zhongli just once in person that he’d have a small heart attack if he saw some of Xiao’s informal behavior.

But you’re glad he hasn’t, the more relaxed they are, especially considering your form, the better.

You duck inside, though the ceilings are so raised that you don’t have to go that low surprisingly. Huh, it was nice to be anticipated in a building usually sized for human heights. Wow. You’ve really reached the point of casually calling yourself inhuman.

…well, to be real with yourself right now, it might actually help to get more accustomed to that in case you’re never human again.

You also put that possibility back into the vault at the back of your mind.

☆

HEY I live, again,

I had a big life update what with my sib graduating grad school (getting their masters degree) at the same time we both moved like 2 states over from our home state 😅

and unfortunately, i wasnt able to get my monster of a sequel out in time to post it remotely to get it out to you guys while i was afk

(as i havent had wifi/free time consistently in like 2-3 weeks)

which, phew, im finally able to be settled in one place enough to write again, and have enough time in the day to not be dealing wiht my apartment to write ToT

i hope you guys arent too mad at me! (or have forgotten me?? sobs)

also.

i hear Natlan's coming out. 👀

I don't think it'll be out before i post the full (3 chapters total planned) sequel, but just in case, disclaimer-

🪄I am not to be held liable for not writing about Natlan bc it wasnt out yet woooo🪄

anyway, yeah its also taking a bit bc i wanna post the completed thing all in one go, over the course of like 3 days or so, that way u guys can actually look forward to the next little chapter in a reasonable amount of time lmao

well yknow, if anyones still reading this or my blog lol

happy summer you guys! I hope u all are having a good one so far, esp those of you in school, heart going out to yall fr <33

Catch you on the flip side (ao3 side?)✌️

Safe Travels,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

@karmascreeches / @yomilyy / @0rah-s / @idontknowwhatimdoingbutweball / @blackstar-gazer / @voidsgarden / @a-gay-piece-of-paper / @oxyotl / @thefirstonetoeverlikemeback / @kurayamioterasu / @randompersoninyourworld / @byakuren100 / @lemonade7255

[m1ckeyb3rry]

i just read your sae fic and it was absolutely amazing, gorgeous, life-changjng! and when i went on to check your masterlist for bllk, i was shocked when you were the one who wrote the nagi x reader x kira fic bc I've been following it for a while and then i immediately tapped the follow button :x but if you can (only when you have the time and energy), can you write rin whose family is a host for exchange student! reader from another country? it could be hs or college, depending on whichever you're comfortable with. thank you <33

── CHERRY TREE

Synopsis: You are one hundred percent convinced that Rin Itoshi hates you — and he does, but not exactly in the way you think.

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Rin x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 6.2k

Content Warnings: cheesy and cliched asf, otoya and KARASU <3 make brief appearances, rin is rude ngl but reader is as well, rin does not know what a “crush” is, he’s probably ooc as well atp i should just include that on all of my works jic

A/N: i can’t believe i started bllk because of a rin edit and yet i’ve never written for him…also i’m glad you liked seabird and peregrine anon!! thank you for following 💖 sorry it took me a min to respond to this

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.

If you didn’t know that your parents would probably put you in an early grave for wasting their money, you would’ve caught the next flight back home from Japan in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, you were far too afraid of their ire, which meant you were stuck in this hostile environment until the end of the semester — assuming, of course, that you managed to survive for so long.

Over the summer, applying to your university’s special first-semester-abroad program had seemed like a good idea. You were already going to be traveling far from home to stay on campus regardless, so your reasoning was that you might as well experience a different culture while you were at it. Besides, the program claimed to pair participants with a host family that would be good fits for their personalities and needs — based on a survey, which in hindsight you really should’ve lied on — so you would be living in relative comfort, at least compared to the ancient dorms on the main campus that probably had thirty different species of mold growing on their walls.

Or, well, that had been the plan. Maybe it was even a reality for the rest of the people in the program, who had no doubt been placed in normal homes, with normal people, who had normal children and normal lives. For you, though, it could not be further from the truth — because you had had the great misfortune of being chosen to live in the same house as Rin Itoshi for the duration of your stay in Japan.

To put it simply, he hated you. He had started hating you from the moment you stepped foot into his house and put your things in his brother’s old room, and he had not stopped since. If you happened to cross paths with him, he’d scoff at you, and considering the fact that the two of you lived in the same house, this was a frequent occurrence. Whenever you tried speaking to him in Japanese, he’d wrinkle his nose and respond in English, telling you that you were so terrible at the language, you might as well give up now and move back to your country early. Once, his mother had suggested he take you to hang out with his friends, as you were all roughly the same age, and he had rolled his eyes so hard that it was a surprise they didn’t get stuck in the back of his head.

There was no doubt about it: your mere existence was a burden to Rin. You couldn’t explain it in any other way; after all, how could he have decided he disliked you before you had even spoken? So you did your best to be as helpful and kind as possible, keeping the house neat, cooking food whenever the elder Itoshis had to work late, staying silent if he happened to enter the same room as you, and offering nothing but slight smiles if you were forced into an interaction with him.

“You know,” Mrs. Itoshi began one day, as you were eating the dinner she had made for all of you. Rin was on your right, and Mr. Itoshi was across from him, his jovial face such a contrast to his son’s dour look. “Rin’s on the Japanese soccer team.”

“Wow,” you said noncommittally. You hadn’t known that; you had assumed that Rin’s hobbies involved throwing stones at unsuspecting children and tripping old ladies as they crossed the street. Soccer had been the last thing you expected, though it did explain his admittedly splendid physique. “Very impressive.”

“Not really,” Rin said. 

“Why don’t you take her to watch your practice over the weekend?” Mrs. Itoshi pressed. 

“She’s not interested,” Rin said. Of course, you really weren’t — why would you want to watch Rin and his friends kick around a ball for a few hours? It would be a waste of time, time that you could spend working on homework or clearing your ‘to-be-read’ list. But you also weren’t fond of people speaking for you, especially not him. He was the last person who could claim to know anything about you, so by what right could he say that you weren’t interested?

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind going,” you said, batting your eyelashes at him innocently when he glared at you out of the corner of his eye, his expression one of utter disgust and incredulity.

“There you have it! Be sure to introduce her to your teammates. I’m sure they would love to show her around,” Mrs. Itoshi said. Rin snorted.

“Oh, I’m sure they would,” he said, though when he did, it sounded different than what Mrs. Itoshi had surely meant. But you were obviously the only one who picked up on it, and you didn’t want to make dinner unpleasant, so you could only ponder what he might’ve meant in your head instead of asking him outright, as you really wanted to.

Although it was the weekend, Rin’s practice was early in the morning, before the day could really heat up and make exercising unbearable. That meant it was before even the sun’s rise that you were following after him, your books clutched in your arms as you waited at the bus stop.

“Why’re you bringing all of that?” he said when the awkward silence grew to be too much for either of you to bear.

“I’m planning on getting some homework done while I’m there,” you said.

“Why didn’t you just stay home if you wanted to do homework?” he said as the bus pulled to a stop in front of you and the doors flew open. Due to the early hour, there was almost no one else on the bus, but given your unfamiliarity with the route, you still followed after Rin, sitting across the aisle from him and putting your things on the seat beside you.

“I dunno,” you said. “I guess I wanted to meet your teammates. Since they would just love to show me around.”

“Stay away from them,” he said. “They’re a bunch of NPCs. All of them are probably the worst people you could ask to show you anywhere.”

“NPCs?” you said. “That’s pretty harsh to say about your own peers.”

“It’s not like we’re friends or anything,” he muttered, crossing his arms petulantly. “I’ll call them what I want.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” you said, massaging circles into your forehead to ward off your impending migraine. Rin raised his eyebrows.

“Got a headache?” he said, in that same clinical, detached voice he always used.

“Yeah,” you said. And you’re making it worse. You wanted to add that, but you thought it probably wouldn’t be prudent, so you kept your mouth shut.

“Don’t stay up so late on your phone, then,” he said. 

“It’s the only time I can call my friends and family. They’re in a different time zone,” you explained before pausing. Why did you feel the need to justify yourself? It wasn’t like Rin particularly cared either way. He was just giving you that advice because he wanted to boss you around and be rude to you. It was a symptom of dislike, not worry.

You had imagined Rin to be an obsessively punctual person, but to your surprise, it seemed like you both were actually some of the later ones to show up. Perhaps the rest of the team was even more concerned with earliness than him, or maybe you had somehow caused him to be later than he typically was, but either way, by the time you walked onto the field, the others had already gathered, chatting amongst themselves while they waited for their coach to arrive and start the practice.

“There he is! We were beginning to think the world might’ve ended,” a boy with dark, styled hair and a beauty mark beneath his left eye said with a grin. “Nothing less could get you to miss practice, eh, Rin?”

“It still might have,” another boy said. His pale hair was streaked through with green, and he wore an inviting smirk as he pointed at you. “Yo, girl. What kind of blackmail does he have on you? Blink twice if you need help. We’ll get you out of there.”

“Um, he’s not blackmailing me or anything…” you said, glancing at Rin for aid before remembering that he would probably rather jump off of a cliff, backwards and into the jaws of a dozen waiting sharks, than help you out.

“So you’re hanging out with him willingly?” the pale-haired boy said. “Yikes. You can do much better.”

“I kind of have to hang out with him,” you said. “I’m staying with his family for the semester.”

“Oh, you’re the exchange student!” a third boy, this one with icy blue hair and wide, pretty eyes said. “We’ve heard a lot—”

“All of you, be quiet and leave her alone,” Rin said, finally, thankfully speaking up. “Otoya, don’t even look at her, or I’ll make sure you’re benched for the rest of the season.”

The pale-haired boy — Otoya? — held his hands up in the air and whistled innocently, shooting you a wink when Rin turned to address the rest of his team. You raised your eyebrows but suppressed your giggle, not wanting to condemn him to further rebuke from Rin.

“This is Y/N L/N. She’s the exchange student my family is hosting. She wanted to come watch our practice because…actually, I don’t really know why,” Rin said shortly. “But she’s just going to be doing homework on the bench, so if any of you were planning on showing off to impress her, then you can give up on that idea now.”

Otoya noticeably wilted at this, but the others didn’t seem to mind. The first boy, the one with the beauty mark and the strange hairstyle, gave Rin a thumbs up.

“Don’t worry, Rin, we’ll leave the showing off to you. It’s about time you—”

“Shut up!”

They must’ve begun practicing at some point, but you hardly took notice, too busy typing up the outline for an essay you had due in a couple of weeks to care much about what they were doing. Occasionally, someone would shout out a particularly creative insult, and you would have to pause your work to identify the trash talker in order to be able to congratulate them later, but for the most part, you were lost in your own world.

“Hey.” Just the sound of Rin’s cool voice was enough to send shivers of fear down your spine, and you hastily closed your laptop as you looked up at him. “Practice is over.”

“Okay,” you said. “Will you introduce your teammates to me now? I know you told them who I was, but I’d like to at least meet some people my own age.”

“Nope,” he said. “Let’s go.”

“Hold on, I only even came because I wanted to meet them!” you said. “Outside of school, you’re the only one I know. I get that you don’t want me infiltrating your friend group or whatever, but you literally said you don’t like these guys, so why’s it a problem if I become friends with them?”

“They’re so dull and half-baked that your opinion of this country will actually fall if you interact with them further,” he said. “This is just my national pride talking. Come on.”

You stomped after him. What was his problem? He didn’t want to be nice to you, but he also didn’t want anyone else to, either. Was he that determined to make you miserable? Why couldn’t you have been placed in a family with children who weren’t so weird and annoying? Which question had you answered incorrectly on the survey that had resulted in your match-up with the Itoshis? You wished you could retake that stupid quiz and end up somewhere else. You wished that Rin had been the one sent to Spain instead of his older brother, who was certainly more well-adjusted. You wished that you hadn’t chosen to study abroad at all, that you had instead stayed at home with your friends and had a typical first semester like everyone else.

After that day, you stopped even pretending to be polite to Rin. Both of you were cold, hissing insults whenever you passed in the hallways of the home, leaving the room if the other happened to enter, and generally doing what you could to make each other’s lives difficult. It was only in front of Rin’s parents that you maintained some semblance of civility; after all, making Mr. and Mrs. Itoshi choose sides in your silent war would be unethical and wrong.

“I really don’t get it,” you said to your best friend one night, the covers pulled up over your head, your phone screen dimmed so that you were not blinded by its light. “He’s such a jerk, and for what?”

“Boys suck,” she said, hunched over a calculus problem set. The time difference meant that sun streamed in through her window as she wrote, illuminating the shining graphite of her neatly penciled answers. “Did his teammates mention anything suspicious the one time you met them? They’d probably know better than you or I why he’s acting the way he is. Maybe this is just how he is with everyone — if that’s the case, then you can be reassured that it’s not something you’re doing wrong.”

“Not really,” you said. “He forbade all of them from talking to me. Which, by the way, is a real tragedy, because some of them were super cute.”

“Really?” she said.

“Want descriptions?” you said.

“As much as I would like to say yes, I need to focus on this problem set, and anyways, it’ll just make me jealous, so no,” she said.

“Jealous? Let’s trade places, because at the moment, I’m jealous of you. Maybe all of the guys at your school are ugly, but at least you don’t have to deal with Rin!” you said.

“Is Rin attractive?” she said. 

“No — actually, yeah, I can see why a person would think he is,” you said. Personal biases aside, Rin really was very handsome, and that combined with his aloof arrogance afforded him the aura of a YA novel’s male lead. There was no doubt in your mind that he was popular with girls; however, you doubted he himself was aware of this fact. “He’s such a dick that it cancels out, though.”

“Personality is important,” your best friend said. “Oh, fuck!”

“What?” you said.

“I’ve been forgetting to add the integration constant to my answers. Easy fix, no worries. You can keep talking,” she said.

“Thanks,” you said. “There isn’t really much else to say.”

“Well, if you couldn’t get anything out of his teammates, why don’t you try talking to him?” she suggested. “Ask him to his face why he doesn’t like you.”

“Isn’t that kind of uncomfortable?” you said.

“Not like things can get much worse than they already are,” she said.

“True,” you said. “But the thought of confronting him is actually sickening. I’ll pass. This is character building, isn’t it? I’m going to come back home as an entirely new woman. You won’t recognize my mental strength and fortitude.”

“Sure, looking forward to it. I miss you,” she said.

“Miss you more, but it’s pretty late here, so I’m going to have to hang up,” you said, yawning.

“Goodnight, Y/N, and sleep tight. Don’t let Rin Itoshi bite!” she said.

“Oh my god. Go do your homework,” you said, hanging up before she could respond and almost immediately passing out as the moon rose higher and higher in the sky.

Things between you and Rin continued on in that tense manner for the next few weeks, until you became convinced that your heart might give out from the stress. You couldn’t continue to live in this way. You were supposed to be enjoying your time abroad, not counting down the days until you could finally go home.

Rin was watching a horror movie on the computer when you barged into his room. A woman screamed in sync with your entrance, and you jumped at the jarring sound. Rin did not react, clicking on the mouse to pause the film and then turning in his chair to face you.

“What?” he said.

“What? What? What do you think?” you said.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I had the faintest clue why you were storming into my room in the middle of the night,” he said coolly, crossing his arms. “The movie was finally getting exciting, too. So, what do you want? Hurry up and say it.”

Your eye twitched. “I want to know what your problem is.”

“Huh?” he said. 

“Why do you hate me? What have I ever done to you that’s made you so determined to ruin my life? I could even understand if you didn’t want to hang out with me, but you brought me to your practice and then refused to let me talk to just about anyone! What’s the big idea? I just want to enjoy my semester!” you said.

“Oh,” he said. “That’s easy. You’re ruining my soccer career.”

“I’m ruining your soccer career,” you repeated dubiously.

“Yes,” he said.

“Care to elaborate on how I am accomplishing that, exactly?” you said, your hands on your hips. “I went to one practice, and I didn’t even speak the entire time. If your career can be ruined so easily, then it isn’t much of a career in the first place.”

He huffed in aggravation. “I keep thinking about you. It’s messing with my head. I need to focus on soccer and getting better, but for some reason, I can’t stop my thoughts from wandering to places they shouldn’t. It’s worse because I can’t escape you. If I could have just one day to clear my mind, I could forget about you and get back to considering more important things, but you’re always there, worming your way back in.”

Now it was your turn to be confused. “What?”

“I don’t get it, either. You’re not that special, so why can I quit it? Even my teammates have begun to notice. The other day, Isagi told me to go home early because I was ‘bringing nothing to the team.’ Isagi said that! Yoichi Isagi said that I was useless!” he said.

“That would be a lot more impactful if I knew who that was,” you muttered.

“You’re only here for a few more months, right?” he said. “After that, I can get back to my earlier performance and things will return to usual. Just leave me alone until then.”

Confronting Rin had the opposite effect that it should have. Instead of making things better, they actually became worse. What did he mean by saying that you were ruining his soccer career because he couldn’t stop thinking about you? What a stupid excuse! You weren’t that tiresome, so for him to claim that you were taking over his mind because of that was an offense. 

“Y/N, Rin, will you be alright by yourselves for the week?” Mrs. Itoshi said when, once again, you all were gathered to eat dinner. The Itoshi parents had thankfully not yet noticed the enmity between you and their son, so family meals were a regular occurrence — meals in which you and Rin were made to sit by one another and act kindly, lest you make things awkward for Mr. and Mrs. Itoshi, too.

“It’ll be fine,” Rin said, answering for the both of you, the downturn of his mouth daring you to argue. “You guys should have fun in Spain.”

Apparently, Sae had invited his family to visit him in Madrid for the week that he had off from training, but unfortunately for the both of you, Rin was unable to go due to his practice schedule. It was unfortunate for Rin because it meant he couldn’t see his older brother, who he had the world’s most complicated relationship with, and it was unfortunate for you because it meant you couldn’t get a break from Rin’s dramatics.

The week started off normally enough, which meant that you and Rin did not speak, leading your lives with as much separation as was possible. It was actually easier than you were expecting, mainly because Mrs. Itoshi had left you both enough food to last the week, so you could eat when you wanted to instead of having to sit with one another. Gone were the days of turbulent coexistence at meals; now, you could finally enjoy eating without worrying about the boy beside you! You almost wished his parents would never come back, just because of that rare peace.

The fourth night was when it all went wrong. You were video calling your best friend as a storm raged outside, ranting to her about your professors and the heaps of homework you received every day, when the lights flickered.

“Is something wrong with your wifi?” she said. “You’re breaking up.

“It’s raining,” you said. “Pretty hard. The power’s kinda spotty, but I’m hoping it holds—”

The universe must’ve heard your words and decided to play a joke on you, because in that moment, the lights turned off and your call disconnected with a sad beeping sound, alerting you that your poor connection was what did you in. Pouting, you set your phone aside and stared up at the ceiling of the room, deciding you might as well try to fall asleep, given the late hour. Even if the power was out, you wouldn’t be able to tell with your eyes shut, so it was really the best option.

There was a scratching sound on your window, causing you to jolt into a sitting position once more. Rin had watched a horror movie just like this the other day. You remembered it clearly because you had turned on a rom-com once it had finished, and he had called it lukewarm, which made you so mad that you had turned the TV off and gone to take a shower instead.

What had been the plot, again? Oh, right. The power had gone out, and the victim thought that it had been because of a storm, but it had actually been a serial killer taking advantage of the weather to mess with her house’s fuse box. He had done it so that the cameras didn’t catch him as he climbed into her house through her unlocked window and stabbed her in her sleep. The resolution was that her neighbors saw him and called the police right before he killed them, too — yeah, it was a pretty gory film. Lots of blood and knife wounds. You weren’t sure what enjoyment Rin derived from watching it, but you figured it was another one of his irrational attributes that defied explanation.

Another scratching sound. Had you locked the window? What if the power outage wasn’t due to the storm at all? What if Rin had accidentally manifested the same ending for you as that stupid movie? And you were home alone, too, the scenario was just so similar…

This time, the scratching sound was more like an eerie drag of fingernails against the glass, and you couldn’t help yourself. Squealing, you turned the flashlight of your phone on to guide your way as you sprinted out of your room, racing towards the only other inhabited place in the entire lonely house.

“Rin!” you shrieked, convinced that the shadows were actually ghosts come to haunt you and strangle you and bury you alive. “Rin, wake up! We’re both going to die!”

The door to his bedroom banged open, and you pointed your phone at him, the harsh white glow sharpening the angles of his features, the awkward hang of his pajamas off his body, the way his normally neat hair stuck up in every direction. 

“What are you talking about?” he groaned, using his hand to shield his vision from the blinding radiance of your flashlight.

“Do you remember that movie you were watching the other day? The scary one, with the fuse box?” you said.

“Yeah?” he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and yawning. “Point your flashlight at the ground, stupid, or you’ll blind me.”

You did as he directed, belatedly remembering that the two of you very much did not like each other. But beggars could not be choosers, and it remained that at the moment, Rin was your best chance at survival, so you had to stick close to him.

“It’s happening,” you whispered. “It’s literally happening to us right now, as we speak. The serial killer already cut our power, and now he’s trying to break in through my bedroom window, and then — and then he’s going to kill us!”

“I cannot believe you woke me up for this,” he said.

“I’m serious!” you said.

“Seriously dumb,” he said. “Why would somebody try to kill us?”

“Don’t you have any rivals that hate you? Maybe they’re taking advantage of the storm to do you in while they have the chance!” you said, creeping closer to him.

“I play soccer. I’m not in a gang,” he said dryly. “No one’s going to come murder me for being better than them, trust me. Or else I’d already be dead.”

“Go see for yourself, then!” you said. “Wait. But I’ll go with you. People who split up in horror movies always die. There’s real merit to the ‘safety-in-numbers’ theory.”

“How many horror movies have you watched, to make you such an expert on them?” he said.

“You always have them playing, so of course I’ve learnt by osmosis!” you said, inching along behind him as he trudged towards your room. He gave no response bar a click of his tongue as he yanked open the door you had slammed shut in your haste, striding in authoritatively, grabbing your phone and lighting his own way with it instead of relying on your shaky hands.

He pulled the curtains open with a flourish, and you cringed, using his broad back to hide yourself, expecting to see some grotesque face and keeping your eyes screwed shut so you didn’t have to be met with the visage that would spell your death.

“Hey. Y/N. Open your eyes, dumbass. You made me get up because of a damn tree,” Rin said, shaking you by the shoulder. 

“A what?” you said, opening your eyes against your will and then blinking properly when you saw there was nothing there but the boughs of the cherry tree planted in front of Sae’s room. The frenzied wind caused the branches to rub against the window, and this, you realized, was the source of the sound you had been so afraid of. “Oh. A tree.”

“I’m going back to bed,” he informed you. “Wake me up again and you really will be dead, but it’ll be at my hands, not some imaginary serial killer’s.”

You tried. You really tried to stay asleep — you were an independent woman, weren’t you? You had gotten full marks on all of your midterms. You had flown to a different country and learned to live there without much trouble. You had shared a house with Rin Itoshi for the past couple of months, and he was more like a creature out of a nightmare than anything else ever could be. Sleeping alone when the power was out was a piece of cake. You could do it. 

It was not, in fact, a piece of cake, and you could not, in fact, do it. Tip-toeing to Rin’s room, you knocked as lightly as you could, half-hoping that he did not hear. You doubted he had made his earlier threat lightly, after all, and there was a real chance that this action would be your last.

“What now?” Rin said, answering the door a few seconds later. You crossed your arms and stared at the floor obstinately, your pride not allowing you to say anything. He waited for a moment, and then he pinched your upper arm. “Are you sleepwalking? Hello? Wake up if you are, so that I can get to bed myself. I have practice tomorrow, and I need to be well-rested!”

“I’m not sleepwalking!” you said. “I can’t.”

“You can’t sleepwalk? Okay,” he said. “I didn’t really care either way, so there was no need for you to tell me.”

“I can’t sleep at all!” you said. “It’s because of those dumb movies you always watch and those creepy games you play. I keep thinking that something’s going to happen, even though I know that those things aren’t real.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, like he was trying to discern whether you were telling the truth, and then he ran a hand through his hair.

“You have problems,” he said. “They aren’t real, but whatever. Come in.”

“Uh, what?” you said.

“I’ll take the floor, and you can sleep in my bed,” he said, rolling his eyes like you were the ridiculous one for being taken aback by the offer. “That way you can be less nervous.”

It was the kindest thing he had ever done for you, and you almost called him out for it, but then there was another crack of lightning, so you opted not to argue, darting into the room after him and diving into his bed without a second thought.

“Hand me a pillow,” he said, settling on the ground with a blanket he pulled down from the top shelf of his closet. You were about to throw it at him before wavering, considering what he was truly doing for you. Rin Itoshi, who was so careful with his body, who was a pro athlete that required an exact amount of sleep and the perfect balance of nutrients, had woken up in the middle of the night twice and was now offering to sleep on the floor, all because you were afraid of a power outage. 

If only there was electricity! You needed to call your best friend and get her opinion on this. You had avoided telling her the results of your confrontation with him, believing that she would just make fun of you, but for some reason, you thought she might be interested in this development. You thought that she might be the only one who would understand it, because obviously, neither you nor Rin did.

“Um, you can have the bed, if you’d like,” you said, pushing the blankets away reluctantly, your neck protesting at the mere prospect of spending the night on the hardwood. “It’ll be bad for your back if you’re on the floor.”

“It’s not a big deal,” he said. “At least, it won’t be, if you give me that pillow.”

You caved, giving him the pillow and rolling to the opposite side of his bed, which was even larger than the one you were used to. He grunted out a thank you, and then both of you were silent, but it was obvious that neither of you were asleep.

“Rin.”

“Yes?”

“We could share. Your bed is pretty big, so if we put pillows between us, it won’t be weird. Anyways, it’s only until the power comes back, and then I’ll go to my room, so it won’t even be for that long,” you said. The suggestion was met with sputtering from the ground.

“You — me — what — share? No way! No way, terrible idea, why would you suggest that?” he said.

“I just feel bad that you have to be on the floor, that’s all,” you said. “Especially because it’s your room and you’re doing me a favor.”

He didn’t say anything for so long that you were certain he must’ve fallen asleep. “I don’t mind sleeping on the floor for you.”

“Really? I thought you hated me, though,” you said. The bed creaked from an unexpected weight dropping on it, and when you shifted, you saw that he had settled beside you, fluffing up a pillow to serve as a barrier, his face a light pink as he lay on his side to face you. You did the same, peering up at him over the pillow and swallowing when he did not avoid your gaze.

“I do,” he said. “A lot. But I also don’t.”

You furrowed your brow. “I don’t get it.”

“I’ve never been distracted by anyone or anything before,” he said. “That’s why I hate you. I hate things I don’t understand, and I don’t understand why you’re constantly on my mind.”

“Am I that annoying?” you said.

“Yes,” he said flatly. “You’re annoying every time you smile or laugh or say something — say anything, and you’re especially annoying when you act friendly towards my shitty teammates, especially that ninja bastard Otoya. You’re annoying whenever you talk to me, and you’re annoying when you do your homework instead of watching me at the practice you asked to go to. Your lukewarm movies are annoying, and so is your hatred of anything horror-related. It’s annoying that you’re nice to my parents, and it’s even more annoying that you’re better at coming up with insults than I am. You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met.”

You didn’t need your best friend to translate this for you. Despite what Rin liked to say, you weren’t that stupid — you had been selected to study abroad out of hundreds of applicants, after all, and for the first time, you were so grateful for that fact. Because the thought of somebody else being here, in this bed, hearing these things from rude, haughty Rin Itoshi, was unbearable.

“Do you have a crush on me?” you said. He immediately stiffened, his eyebrows drawing together, low and heavy over his half-lidded eyes.

“No,” he said.

“Sure,” you said. “That’s good, because I’m going to leave soon. It would be problematic if either of us liked one another.”

“Exactly,” he said.

“You’re annoying, too, just to be clear,” you said. “The most annoying guy I’ve ever met in my life. Super annoying.”

“Uh-huh,” he said. 

“I’m telling the truth. Once I go back home, I’ll be incredibly bored. No one back there could ever hope to irritate me even half as much as you do,” you said.

“Good,” he said, and at that you smiled into the softness of his sheets, hiding the expression from him. “They’re not allowed to. You’re the only one who makes me feel like this, so the reverse should also be true.”

“I won’t be able to come here again for a while,” you said after a bit. “Likely years. I’ll be busy with school and work and my friends and family, so it’ll probably be goodbye forever when I go.”

Rin’s voice was sleepy when he spoke, reminding you of the late hour and how early he had to wake up daily.

“Then I can finally focus on soccer again,” he mumbled. “That’s a relief.”

You reached across the pillow to pat him on the cheek. “Yes, you can.”

“After I retire, I’ll come and find you,” he said. 

“That long?” you said. “What if I forget about you by then? Because I might.”

“Don’t,” he commanded. “Wait for me. Let me win the next World Cup, and then…and then…”

 His words trailed off into a soft exhale as he finally succumbed to sleep. You allowed your hand, which still lay against his face, to trace his jawline before retracting it and holding it close to your heart. 

He was definitely still a jerk, but maybe you did not hate him quite as much as you had thought You did. Actually, maybe he wasn’t that bad at all, and maybe you could not imagine what an existence without him, which you had craved so desperately only days earlier, might be like. 

You weren’t sure what would happen if that day he spoke of came, if he did fly across the world to find you after the next World Cup. Would he still be himself, or would he be some gentler version? And what of you? Would Rin Itoshi still be someone you paid any mind to, or, by then, would he just be a not-so-fond memory? The strange boy who may or may not have had a crush on you, who was obsessed with soccer and horror movies, who argued with you constantly and made you more infuriated than you had ever been…well, if you thought about it, then there really was no chance of you forgetting him at all. Not so quickly.

So you sighed, turned away from him and let your own eyes shut as well. The house was dark and still, the familiar hum of the refrigerator silenced, the crushing of the ice-maker temporarily halted. Only Rin’s steady inhales and exhales cut through the blackness, lulling you to sleep despite the atmosphere you had previously found sinister.

“I guess I have no choice, huh?” you said as you, too, drifted off. “Brainless, rude, pesky Rin Itoshi. Fine, then. If that’s how you want it…I’ll wait. Just until the next World Cup, I’ll wait for you.”

[bless-my-demons]

Redamancy: Chapter Twenty-Three

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: Just fluff, y’all deserve it lol

Notes: I’ve had this chapter written for a long time already and this week I’ve just kept adding to it lol I also tore my thumbnail off at work so I’ve been typing on my phone with my index finger and it’s pissing me off, I apologize if I fuck up some spelling bc of it. Enjoy our boy being back and not holding anything in anymore🥰

Word Count: 3500

Series Masterlist

•March 18th, 2006 • Home •

Reader

I don’t know what’s worse. Watching Jasper leave, or standing in front of him months later completely unprepared to see his face ever again.

Jasper Hale is here, he’s real, he’s home.

I can’t breathe all over again. I just-

My body collides with his before I even realize I’m moving. Wrapping my arms around his neck feels like a puzzle piece clicking into place. He’s solid against me, slightly chilly but real. I can’t believe it, I inhale for the first time since opening the door and it really is him-the scent of pine and everything Jasper slides right into my lungs and clicks against my heart. My breathing is noticeably choppy and I can barely contain the sob lodged in my throat. One hand wrinkles his shirt in a fist at his shoulder while the other grips his beautiful blonde hair at the base of his head, my eyes squeeze shut to hold in the tears from the overwhelming feeling of having him this close again.

“You-you’re home.” I choke out, the lump in my throat almost impossible to slip words past.

His arms close around me delicately picking me up off my feet, like I’m made of porcelain. He hasn’t moved an inch otherwise, almost as if he’s thinking that I might be a dream too. I feel his chest expand and his arms cinch down a little tighter, bands of steel that aren’t releasing me anytime soon.

“I’m here darlin’, I’m home.” Jasper whispers into my neck.

“You can’t-don’t leave-“ I stutter, words failing me, hands starting to shake.

“Shhh sweetheart, I’m here.” He smooths a hand down the back of my head and cradles it against his shoulder.

Tears start to fall in a steady flow at the reassurance in his voice, words I’ve needed to hear for a long time now clanging through my soul. He’s here and I don’t know for how long, but he’s here.

Jasper steps forward into my house with me still enveloped in his arms, nudging the door to slam shut with the toe of his boot, he stops.

“Couch?” He asks, as if he’s unsure what to do next.

I nod into his neck, I could probably let go and walk myself, but I can’t release him just yet. He moves us over to the couch and as he sits, I pick my legs up to lay across his lap, a hand drifting down my thigh to guide me into a comfortable position. It’s like time picked up right where we left off, a shudder running through me at the familiarity of him.

“Darlin’, I need to see that gorgeous face of yours.” He says in that southern accent that’s like a spear to my heart. I want to shake my head, I’d prefer to stay in this bubble locked around him. Instead I do the reasonable thing, my arms relax the death grip I have on his neck as I lean back to look into his eyes.

“There you are, sweet girl.” He whispers with a grin, dark brown eyes tracking the tear stains running down my cheeks. His thumbs reach up to swipe away the wetness as he places a kiss to my forehead before taking a deep breath.

“Why on earth would you try to-to kill-” He struggles with the words in a way that clenches my heart.

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself. It was recreational diving.” I pick at the edge of my sweatshirt and I feel him shift.

“Alice couldn’t see you come out of the water, I was so scared, you… You can’t do that.” Jasper pushes some fallen strands of hair behind my ear, staring at where his cold finger meets my warm skin.

“Can’t do what?” I challenge, meeting his eyes as defiance flairs in me.

“Scare me. Put yourself in a situation where I might lose you.” His answer is warming and bold, but it delivers a blow to my chest.

“Like when I lost you six months ago?” Fuck, the lashing is out of my mouth before I could think, but I stand by it nonetheless.

He takes a deep breath, glancing around the living room before nodding.

“I’m sorry…” my voice is small as I whisper the apology, I truly didn’t mean to snap.

“Sweet girl…” he drifts off and closes his eyes, missing the pink on my cheeks from the nickname. “You have no idea, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The most scared I’ve ever been - that night in September and today.”

“You have no idea, Jasper. It’s not so easy to live without you either. To wonder if you’re alive. If you’ve moved on without me.”

He opens his almost pitch-black eyes and gapes at me like a fish out of water. How could this man think so low of himself that he can’t see how much I care for him?

“Have you been feeding?” I ask him, worry lacing my tone as I take his cheeks in my hands.

“When I need to, it turns out that not a lot matters besides you. You also scaring me to death kind of does that to a man.” He responds with a pointed look and a smirk tugging on his lips, his hands tightening their hold on my waist.

I blush again, not used to him being so open with his thoughts and feelings. “Oh hush.” I flash a sad grin back, the dark circles under my eyes an obvious sign I know exactly how he feels.

“You look tired sweetheart, maybe-“ he begins.

“No.” I interrupt him, there’s no way I’m taking my eyes off him any time soon, not even for a nap.

Realization dawns on him as I stare a hole into his chest, the grip I have on his shirt unyielding like it’s the only thing tethering me to earth. “Y/n, let’s go upstairs and you can take a nap, I’ll stay with you the entire time. You need some sleep, doll.”

“You-you’ll stay with me? You won’t leave?” I ask as he picks me up bridal style in his arms and begins walking to my room.

“I won’t leave, not until you ask me to.” He reassures my fears, no doubt catching the distress pouring off me in droves at just the thought of letting him go even for a simple nap.

“You’ll be okay laying with me?” I ask, concerned about making his hunger uncomfortable.

“Sweetheart,” he starts while ascending the stairs, “I’ve gone too long without you, I can wait a little longer to take care of myself.”

I sink into his arms a little further, my eyelids beginning to feel the weight of all the sleep I haven’t been getting since he’s been gone.

“Sleep, I’ve got you.” He murmurs into my hair, placing a kiss as he turns the corner to my room.

He sets me down on one side of the bed, the sheets unmaid making it easy to pull up and cover me. He speeds to the opposite side of my bed, toeing his shoes off before sliding under the sheets with me. He keeps his distance, facing me on his side with an arm propping up his head so that he could study me.

I turn my body to mirror his, “You’re not staying all the way over there, are you?” I ask mildly offended.

He lets out a chuckle, “Guess not.” He opens his arms to let me wiggle in closer, I press my nose to his chest and pause. “What is it?” He asks, immediately sensing my hesitation.

“Can I?” I lift my leg a little as if in question, too scared to ask something so intimate out loud.

He slides a chilly hand down my leg to grasp the back of my knee to hike over his thigh, leaving goosebumps in his wake and not just because he’s cold from the lack of sustenance in his system.

I sigh as I settle in, body finally able to relax for the first time in a very long time. I feel myself drift off as he rubs my back and whispers, “Sweet dreams darlin’, I’ll be here when you wake.”

Blissful all-encompassing darkness finally drags me under peacefully for the first time in months.

Jasper

I’m in Y/n’s bed, actually holding her and breathing her in. It’s like a soothing balm spreading over the exposed live wires of my sanity that have been buzzing uncomfortably since the day I ran from her. Gazing down at her sleeping face, I can tell the last few months have taken their toll on her too. Her forehead has more crinkles from stress, the dark circles under her eyes standing out against her delicate skin. Her lips aren’t quite as full as I remember, no doubt related to the volume missing in her cheeks from lack of nourishment. She’s still gorgeous, devastatingly so, but I know her well enough to notice the small changes.

I take a deep breath to let her scent flow in me, to heal the piece I’ve been missing for months, her hand tightens it’s hold on my shirt. I had no idea my absence would have such a prominent effect. I figured she could live without me simply the way she had before me.

As I gaze around her room to take in the disorganization, I hear her breathing pick up. Glancing back down I spot her nose scrunching up and a scrunch in her brow, in addition her heartbeat begins a steady increase. A nightmare, I can sense the fear and loneliness in her emotions.

“Darlin’,” I murmur softly into the soft skin of her temple as I run a hand down her back, “Wake up darlin’, it’s just a dream.”

She snaps awake with a sharp inhale, “Jasper?” Y/n asks, “You’re still here?”

“I’m here, do you want to talk about your dream?” I ask while I hook some loose strands of hair that escaped her bun behind her ear.

“Doesn’t matter now, you’re here.” She replies, her hands roaming my chest like she’s trying to convince herself of her own words.

God I’m so stupid for leaving this girl.

“Let me… Let me go take a shower so I can feel like myself again. You…?” Her question drifts off like she’s afraid to ask me to stay, like it isn’t her right to make demands like that.

“I’ll be here when you get out sweetheart, take as long as you need.” I end my reassurance with a kiss to her forehead, I can’t get enough of touching her again.

“Okay.” She whispers as she peels herself from where her body is intertwined with mine. I’m not used to the intimacy, but I’m more than happy to oblige my girl.

My girl.

That would require me to make her my girl. Require me to talk about my feelings for her, to make up for my horrible actions, for leaving her alone when she needed me.

I watch her shuffle around her room gathering clean clothes to wear for the night as I scoot back on her bed to lean against the headboard, hands folding in my lap content to just observe. The organization of her room only known to her as she picks up and discards articles of clothing that don’t satisfy her.

I lean forward from my resting place against her headboard and reach a hand back to grab the collar of my hoodie to remove it. As I’m yanking it off, my cotton T rides up flashing her a view of my stomach and I know she catches it based on the change of her scent.

A smirk graces my lips as I extend my hoodie towards her, “Here, sweetheart.”

Stunned eyes blink back up to my face as nervous hands grasp my jacket, “Thank you.” Whispered quickly from her lips.

Once she has what she needs, she pauses in the doorway to the hall, turning back to look at me.

“Go, before I’m tempted to undress you myself.” I smirk at the blush that dusts her cheeks, having reached my goal of bringing color back to her beautiful face. Effectively flustered, she rushes down the hall to her bathroom.

Reader

Wiping the condensation from the mirror, I grimace at the reflection. When did I start to permanently look tired? I let out a huff and check the time on my phone, I slept less than an hour in his arms. Not bothering to blow dry my hair, I ditch my dirty clothes in the hamper and walk back to my room.

Jasper’s eyes immediately find mine, “What’s wrong doll?” He asks, definitely having heard me fuss over my reflection in the bathroom.

“I’m just… still tired.” I offer as I turn to hang up the towel I used for my hair on the back of my door.

“C’mere.” He slides back down the bed from his position at the headboard and opens the blankets for me

I climb back into bed and scoot close to him, my forehead inches from his as I gaze into his dark eyes. I half expected him to be a figment of my imagination when I returned from my shower. We don’t say anything to each other, but it’s like he can’t keep his hands to himself and it’s new, but also not at the same time. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love it and I can’t stop touching him either, but it’s different now-I’ve gone so long without him.

“Jasper?” I whisper into the quiet of my room.

“Yes sweetheart?” He responds, halting the hand drawing circles on my arm.

“What are we doing?” I wonder out loud, unable to continue this limbo with him, my nerves shot to hell.

“Well,” he leans in, one hand moving to cup the back of my head, “I’d like to…” his nose bumps mine and I can’t breathe. He’s going to kiss me, Jasper Hale is going to-

Right when I feel his lips ghost mine, his phone rings, ruining the peaceful moment. With a groan and a clench of his jaw, he turns to grab his phone from my nightstand, Alice’s name flashing on the screen.

“This better be important.” He says by the way of a greeting to his adopted sister, as he’s staring at me with those pitch-black eyes. There’s hunger there and I’m not entirely sure it’s for blood this time, I shiver and he catches the movement immediately.

“Mary Alice-“ he manages to force her full name from a clenched jaw.

“Yes-yes I know, I’m sorry, but it’s Edward.” She proceeds to launch into an explanation as he sits up, concern taking over his features as I overhear Alice explain their situation in Volterre.

Wait-Volterre as in Europe? Are Alice and Bella in Europe? What’s wrong with Edward?

Jasper turns to give me a reassuring half-smile, sensing the turn in my emotions.

Shortly the call with Alice ends and he turns to me fully, “What’s going on?” I question before he can manage an explanation.

“I chose to come home the same time Alice came to check on Isabella, after you two decided to do some… recreational cliff diving at the reservation and Alice couldn’t see the outcome. I decided to come with her because I had to see you with my own eyes, the opportunity to see you again was something I couldn’t pass up anymore.” He began, looking down at his hands nervously. “Edward… He called Bella’s home phone requesting to speak to her father and Jacob answered. Informed him that Charlie was planning a funeral, but didn’t mention that it was for Harry Clearwater. So now… now he’s in Volterre asking for death from The Voltouri.”

“Who are the Voltouri?” I asked, worry creeping in for Edward. “Why would he ask them for such a thing?”

His eyes meet mine, soft even though his hunger shines clear. “Darlin’, he thinks Bella is dead. The Voltouri are the governing body to our vampire race. They’re judge, jury, and executioner rolled into one, full of very powerful beings.”

“Okay, but clearly she’s alive! And on her way to meet him, why would he want to die?” I press him harder, worried for my friends.

“He isn't answering his phone, his mind has been made up, which is why Alice is racing the clock to get to him. Isabella is his singer, honey-“ his hands reach for mine as I interrupt him.

“Singer? What in the world is that?” I demand, my patience thinning at the anxiety of the situation.

“A blood singer is a vampire’s greatest temptation,” he begins, now unable to meet my questioning gaze, looking at our intertwined fingers instead. “They’re blood sings, or in other words, is irresistible perfection for their vampire. In some cases they are the potential mate for the vampire. A singer isn’t like that for all vampires, usually just for the one. A life without them is extremely dull in comparison once you’ve found them.” He concludes.

“Sounds like you’re familiar with the feeling,” I mumble self-consciously. “Have you had a singer?”

The sharp exhale he forces out snaps my eyes to his. “Yes.” He answers truthfully.

“Oh…” My heart sinking, I try to pull my hands from his but he holds tight. “That’s-“

“You, darlin’.” He states matter of factly, one of his fingers lifting my chin, so that he could find my eyes. “You are that for me.”

“I-I’m your singer?” Disbelief and awe seep into my tone.

Jasper’s fingers drift down my neck following the path of my pulse, his dark gaze following their trail. “Yes Y/n, you’re mine.”

I shiver at the pure possession in his voice and the dangerous glint in his eyes. I wonder if he knows how that sounded, like there was no room for negotiation - like it’s more than my blood he wants.

“Honey, you keep those thoughts up and we’re in trouble.” He grinds out, a war raging behind his eyes.

“Jasper…” I trail off as I climb over the remaining space separating us and into his lap, like a magnet drawn to its counterpart.

“Does this mean we’re… Mates?” I ask, not really sure of what that implies.

“Yes,” Jasper takes a moment to seemingly gather his thoughts, “you need to tread very lightly, little one.” His voice a deep vibration in the quiet room, his hands flexing on the comforter of my bed.

“Oh my god, you haven’t eaten and I-“ I stutter out as I rise from my position in his lap. I’m his fucking singer and I’m pushing his limits while he’s hungry!

“Now that you know everything… I need to hunt. I think I’ve tested all the patience and luck I’m going to get today.” He states with his black eyes still locked on mine.

I leaned against my dresser a few feet in front of him and fold my arms over my chest, a little insecure under his intense gaze now that his proximity isn’t overriding my rational thoughts.

“Go, go hunt. But please, come back to me?” I ask him.

He rises from the edge of my bed, slowly closing the gap and resting a hand on my cheek softly. I lean into it, closing my eyes and turning to press a kiss to it before meeting his eyes again. His lips part as if he wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction, “I’m yours now - have always been, but now I know I don’t have the strength to do that again, to abandon you.” He reassures my fears quickly. “It’ll be a few days, to properly prepare myself, but I promise you’re my first stop when I’m back.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Hale.” Feeling better about him leaving now that I have his word. Jasper leans down to place a lingering kiss to my forehead, his cool lips feeling like heaven on my heated skin.

“Be safe while I’m gone, please.” He whispers into my hair, his thumb sweeping my cheek back and forth adoringly. I nod since my throat feels like I’ve swallowed cotton, sad that I’m forced to be without him for a few days after just getting him back.

He steps away from me toward my open window, where the cool spring air drifts in. Glancing back for one last look before making his exit, I catch his eyes scanning every inch of my body.

He’s out of the window in the next fraction of a second, not even a whisper of footsteps in his wake. I wrap myself a little tighter in his hoodie, his intoxicating scent soothing the ache that’s beginning to return, reminding me he’s here.

He’s home, Jasper Hale came home to me.

Next

Taglist Part 1:

@aoi-targaryen @Min-jianhyung @pbbsl @timelordhunterandmysterysolver @sheerangermany @clearwater-hoe @Blackbluerose666 @ivy-plays @random-human02 @delightfulbluebirdstarlight @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @gaymazinglula @l3ejm @angelfuzzy2 @losa12308 @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @flyawayprincess @ropickle @catbusloki @deviat3dsn0wf0x @lovesanimals0000 @unrevived @h-naec @cutesnakemum @zudooms @itsmytimetoodream @stinkii-boii @acoolnight @anothercoffeeblogx @irishblend10 @from-now-on-im-switzerland @kyraslife2 @naolvshan @kiiwiigii @rosedpetal @kiaraandrea @foolsgoldxo @heartfilia01 @azuredgalaxies @geekysimmerthings @graciereads @ramen-girl-2424 @0hmydekiru @creeqvealley @cherriebat @whichwitchisthebitch @dragon-rider-with-a-book @secretfairytailpetscookie @psychobitchsthings

[anemonelovesfiction]

Petal

Pt 2

Ronal x Tonowari X Human! Reader

Warnings ⚠️: Sex. Penetration. P in V, P in mouth, V in mouth, Fingeriiiing, Ronowari x Y/n, AFAB! Reader.

Cute blurb, I mentioned “the first breath” in green text. This is a Metkayina tradition in which the Tsahik is supposed to help the Na’Vi woman give birth underwater (in shallow waters) and the baby swims to the surface to take their first breath. I just thought you guys would find it a lil interesting bc my autistic self did….

This is a part two to Petal, but you don’t have to read the first one to understand this one, the true epitome of Porn without a plot… for both chapters

Pls excuse any weirdly spelled or stated things, English is not Author-chans first language so I sometimes say things differently than you guys would. I did do a run through to catch errors but can’t guarantee I got them all.

@nelissecrectplace 👈🏻 Ayyooooo

<<Previous

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked Ronal as she had sighed for the fourth time in a short period. I’d purposely entered her healing tent to watch Tsireya do her tsakarem training, in hopes I could utilize some of that on my own, not that I wanted to be tsahik, but to comfort anyone I cared for or utilize the same methods with Kiri. She had previously patched up a fisherman with a rather deep cut on his arm, I watched her put some kind of salve on some seaweed and wrap it around his arm.

I wanted to ask her what components the salve consisted of and why wrap it in seaweed, but hearing her mother sigh or groan every once in a while was worrisome. But I refused to talk to her informally as I was unsure of how much her own children knew about whatever our relationship was. The last thing I wanted was for her to think I’d flaunt it as some kind of status. Tsireya had grabbed a box and started taking inventory of what she had.

“I am fine,” Ronal offers me a nod and goes back to grinding some of the dried cactus she’d laid out in the sun earlier this week.

“I’ll need to collect some more yellow daisies and ready them to dry.” Tsireya announces as she stands, closing the box and grabbing a small bag, tying it around her waist like a fanny-pack. I was about to offer to go with her to see what the process was like, and also gain some intel for Lo’ak, the boy wanted to gift her something but didn’t know what.

“That is fine. But be careful ma’ite, I don’t need you hurting yourself over some daisies. I’ll keep Y/n here for anything else I might need.”

Tsireya appears to give me an apologetic look and worried smile as her mother mentions me staying behind. I return a smile of my own and give her a small nod, silently telling her I was alright and didn’t need to get out of this situation.

“I might join you on your next adventure,” I joke and she smiles genuinely before leaving. I turn to eye the pregnant Tsahik and witness her groan again and rub her belly.

“What is wrong, Tiyawn?” I ask her as I approach her slowly.

“This child is making a toy out of my insides.” She rubs her belly, the tattoo’s around it accentuating her bump, and a need to protect her surges through me.

“If the baby is kicking this strongly, the first breath will be easy for them.” I smile up at her and her face softens, she places a hand on my cheek and runs her thumb against it affectionately.

“You always know what to say,” She smiles but winces as it seemingly kicks her again.

“Hey now,” I kneel down to come closer to her belly, placing my hands on either side, feeling the baby kick and slap the other hand. “Let your Sa’nok rest little bean, she needs you to behave so she can relax.” I speak gently toward her bump and it shakes slightly as she laughs silently, but the baby stops kicking.

“I wish all my children listened to me that way.” She smiles down at me and pats my head, attempting to move but stopping when my hands sit on her knee’s.

“They listen to you,” I assure her and she rolls her eyes at my words.

“Do not tease me, Petal.” She says and tries to swat my hands away but I don’t let go of her knee’s and start to slowly rub up her thigh the slightest bit, circling back at her knee’s testing the waters.

“I don’t tease, Ronal, how often do you look out for everybody's best interest?” I asked her while slowly continuing to rub up higher than the last time. I knew her inner thighs were her weakness but I was trying to remain inconspicuous.

“Too much, but I have to-“ She begins and I tut at her.

“How often do you decide to look after yourself?” I asked her and managed to make her sit up straighter as I slowly rub the inner part of her thigh next to her knee. Leaning down to give it a kiss and innocently looking back up at her.

“Hmm?” I asked as she seemed to be in a trance while looking at me. “Because I don’t think you do, and it looks like you need someone to care for you.” I kiss her other thigh and watch the skin of her brows flutter between a confused and surprised look and settling on raising one as she looks at me.

“Petal.” She warns but I don’t care for it as I let my hands slide up her thigh and toward her covered pussy, feeling the damp cloth underneath, sliding my finger up the outline of her lips while maintaining eye contact.

“How else can I show you I’m grateful for everything you do than to take care of this weeping cunt, hmm?” I ask and gently place pressure on where her clit should be. Her breath hitches and I can’t take how slow I’m moving so I circle it.

“There are other ways,” She begins and I can’t help but circle around her clit again, snaking my other hand to untie her tewng swiftly.

“Yes but I selfishly want to do it this way.” I state as I untie the tewng successfully and watch her look at my hand pulling the string apart in surprise. “I want you a whimpering mess as I feast on your pussy-“ I circle her clit again. “And I want to drink from your nectar knowing I’m the reason it’s made an appearance.”

“I guess I can allow it,” She tries to remain strong but she was cracking.

“But you aren’t the one in charge here. Slide your tewng off, Tiyawn.” I tell her and she surprisingly listens as she slides it off her body, and down her tail, I bite my lip at the excitement forming in my lower belly.

“Spread your legs for me, please.” I ask politely and she was listening to my words.

I slide my finger up her pussy and collect her slick fluid on my finger before rubbing it in circles around her clit, making sure to enjoy the looks her face was making whilst I pleasured her. I use my other hand to slide two fingers into her slick hole and we both moaned at the same time. The heat given off by her cunt alone had my mouth watering.

“Feels s’good on my fingers,” I’d taken my eyes off of her and watch how her cunt greedily takes my fingers and where she tries to stay quiet, her pussy squelches loudly.

“Listen to how wet you are, mama,” I say and hear her moan immediately following my words. I continue sliding my fingers in and out of her.

“Didn’t think I’d find the two of you doing this so soon.” I hear behind me and can feel my pussy squeeze around nothing, licking my lips at the sound of his voice, but continue focusing on the pregnant beauty in front of me.

“She takes care of us and we forget to take care of her. Isn’t that right mama?” I ask her while rubbing her already puffy clit, my mouth waters at the sight before me and I just have to taste her. “I wanna eat your cunt so bad,” I talk quietly to myself as she moans from my request.

“Feast on her, Petal, then you’ll feast on my cock.” Tonowari states while kneeling down to face me from Ronal’s head, making sure to lean over and tease her nipples while I connected my mouth to her clit.

The taste of her juices were divine. I had no other words to explain it other than ‘other worldly’ she really was one of a kind and I couldn’t get enough of her. She was struggling to maintain her moans but I was losing myself to her taste that I’d lost track of how long I’d done this.

“Oh I’m coming, Petal, ‘Wari-“ She whines as her hips snap to a rhythm of their own as she comes. Her juices flowing out more readily than before as I continued to eat and finger her as she rode out her high, Tonwari making sure to caress her breasts the way she enjoys as she slows down. Letting us know she finished by going limp and gasping for air. I continue to trace her outer lips with my tongue as she catches her breath, she had already been licked clean, but her hand pushing gently on my head is what gets me to stop.

Switching was always the hardest part. We usually had to talk through what we wanted the night to look like as we followed through but we moved swiftly into our new positions. I sat on Ronal’s face for a change- I was always on my back while she ate me out- and Tonowari had taken his tewng off, exposing his long hard cock.

“Open your mouth for me, petal.” Tonowari instructs and I do, fitting him in my mouth was never easy, but it was always fun. He places the head of his cock in my mouth and a bit of the tip of his shaft in before my mouth is completely full.

“Ugh, so tight.” He groans while freely moving his hand on his own cock teasingly slow.

“Mmmm-“ I moan as soon as Ronal sticks her finger in, licking my clit like I’d done to her.

“Great mother-“ Tonowari groans and starts sliding his hand on his cock faster.

Ronal takes the liberty to tease me by running the tip of her finger along the walls, making a come here motion slowly, almost as of she was teasing me. But she knew I enjoyed the pleasure more, it felt like the electric pulses in my pussy ran longer and stronger when she took her time.

“Do you want my seed?” He asks and I plead with my eyes. “Thats what I thought.” He grunts and his pace changes, I reach out and place my hands on his hips to help steady me and it drives him crazy.

“I think-“ Tonowari grunts “- our Petal is coming, Ronal.” Tonowari moans himself but his own hands don’t stop thrusting his cock. I’m on the edge and didn’t know how much longer I could take, but Ronal shoved her second finger in, allowing it to repeat the same motion and it had my walls fluttering for that movement. Just then Tonowari shoots his load in my mouth.

“Swallow, Petal.” He states as he continues coming and I swallow as much as I can fit in my mouth as it dribbles out with some drool from the side of my mouth and down my chin. It takes me a second to catch my breath as he gently lifts me off of Ronal’s face. My legs are wobbly and it makes me feel like a newborn deer.

I wobble my legs over but end up having to sit down as Ronal sits up from her laying position. She happens to have grabbed my waist and leaned me against her body and places her hand on my thighs, effectively lifting them up and spreading my pussy open.

“W-wait, what is-“

“You said you wanted to be jackhammered.” Ronal reminds me while speaking into my ear, causing a shiver to run up her spine. “And this is the way the three of us can participate.” She kisses the top of my head and I can feel her bump acting as a cushion.

“Will I hurt the baby?” I ask in all seriousness as Tonowari approaches on his own knee’s. Ready to fuck into my cunt.

“The baby is safe, silly tawtute.” Ronal playfully hisses in my ear and bites the tip of it, causing me to flush red and moan while biting my own lip.

“Get ready, Petal, I’ve been thinking about doing this since this morning.” He groans as if he’d literally not just come down my throat and was (not so) surprisingly hard. Na’vi could go for multiple rounds and fuck tirelessly through the night whenever they felt like it. When impressing someone they often went as many rounds as possible, and seeing Tonowari still this active during his prime was sexy for no reason. He’d been surprised that I passed out after one round with him and his wife, he had to ask Jake if he broke me, that was a funny conversation when I woke up.

“Wari, please-“ I try to tell him to take it slow, but as soon as he shoved his cock into my cunt I couldn’t feel anything else. The air in my lungs stopped coming in and all I could focus on was the stretch his cock often greeted my cunt with.

“If I wasn’t so tired making this baby I would have been enjoying myself to your sounds, petal.” Ronal speaks into my ear and I breathe again, moaning as I did so.

“Please, Ronal, please-“ I whine and I can hear her coo at me teasingly.

“Not so cocky when you’re stuffed with cock, hmm?” She snakes one of the hands holding my thighs down to my quivering and puffy cunt. Making sure to take advantage of Tonowari’s precome and my slick and begins rubbing my clit as Tonowari pounds into me.

“Oh fuck!” I yell at the incredible amount of pleasure surging through my body, my toes were curled and I couldn’t control them no matter how hard I tried, I gave in to the feeling and ground my hips to meet both Tonowari’s thrusts and Ronal’s soft hands circling my clit.

“Such filthy language, Petal, we taught you better than that. Didn’t we, Wari?” Ronal’s voice simulated a pout as she brought the hand that was on my cunt up to her lips. “Mmmm” She moans happily while licking her fingers clean.

“Please don’t-“ I tried remembering the language as hard as I could but failed to do so as Tonowari’s thrusts weren’t slowing down, his cock head itching me just right.

“Don’t what?” Ronal asks, sliding her hand back down to hold my thigh and rub my clit, I’m too busy trying to remember the words but have a hard time.

“Please don’t stop, please!” I knew they understood what I meant and Ronal decided to kiss my head again.

“We won’t stop, Petal, we need you to coax out Wari’s come with your tiny pussy. Isn’t that right tiyawn?” She is asking him this time.

I look up through squinted eyes, his brows were furrowed as he focused on both of our pleasure, grunting so primal it had me near the edge, his tattoo’s made him look fierce but he was such a gentle lover. Ronal’s hands didn’t stop and it amazed me how a heavily pregnant woman was this sexually active, I’d wanted to give her the treatment she was giving me but she was always thinking of others.

“Yes,” Tonowari answers and he somehow goes even faster.

“Imma come, imma come!” I mutter, feeling Ronal change the way my hips were being held and could feel her confining my movements. “N-noo,” I moan and could feel Tonowari’s brute force making a small pole on my belly, his hips finally meet mine and I feel a pressure I’ve never felt before, letting go and succumbing to the pleasure.

“What- what was that?” Ronal asks just before Tonowari groans and dumps his come in my cunt. I can hear myself and Tonowari panting but I couldn’t believe I just-

“Tawtute call it squirting,” Toniwari answers.

[serenescribe]

*slides 5$ across the table* yeah hi can i get a uhhhhhhhhhh…….. Silver is killed by Malleus during chap 7 BUT since it happened inside the dream realm, he’s actually still alive in the physical world but everyone thinks he’s dead (i hope this makes sense GJDGSJDHSJ)

i love ur writing so much, theyre always so 👌 perfection (i showed my gf, who knows nothing about twst, ur hollow moon fic and she spent half an hour researching goat horns bc of that one scene😭😭😭)

(accepts the $5) the way this prompt possessed me... groans. chapter 7 is killing me >>

fun fact! title of the google doc for this was just "oh no." anyways i hope you enjoy!! (also tysm for the compliments on my writing ;u; it really does mean a lot to me...!!)

It all happens so fast.

One moment, they’re all fighting Malleus side by side, pushing back the overblotted fae with the might of their combined forces. The three of them — Sebek, Silver, and Lilia himself — take the lead, standing on the frontlines, weapons and magic in hands. Everybody else, all their other peers they’d met throughout dream-hopping, stick to the backlines, providing support from afar.

And for that short while, it feels like they’re finally winning. It’s evident in all the little details; for all of Malleus’ might and power, there is a hint of desperation flickering across his face. His lips curl downwards, the green glow of his eye flaring a little brighter. His stance shifts, and the draconic phantom behind him moves too, adopting a defensive position. Dripping, scaley limbs curl around Malleus’ floating form, tails and wings forming a shield around him in a bid to protect him.

They’ve pushed Malleus up against a wall. They finally have a chance!

The next moment, however…

Everything goes miserably, horribly wrong.

A flash of light conjures in Malleus’ ink-stained palm — magic, streaked with oozing blot and simmering with a corrupt power unlike anything else. With the flick of a wrist, it hurtles towards them, towards him — towards Lilia, who, in that moment, freezes in place, limbs locking up. His mind screeches at him, what are you doing, you need to move, and with what little time he has, he readies a defence spell—

Only for a heavy weight to barrel into him, shoving him against the hard stone floor, a sharp pain flaring within his body.

And, pushing himself up from the ground, arms shaking as he twists his body around, Lilia can only stare in utter horror as Silver takes the brunt of the hit meant for him. Silver, whom Lilia knows is exhausted and worn down from an eternity of navigating dreams, his unique magic leading the way for them all. Silver, who insisted on fighting by his side despite Lilia’s insistence that he stick to the back.

Silver, who is thrown backwards, body collapsing against the stone floor in a steaming heap of smoking magic, clothes shredded and seared, sanguine stains splattering his pallid skin and pale hair.

His chest heaves, gulping down one last shuddering breath.

Silver stills, and does not move again.

And Lilia’s world collapses.

“SILVER!” he screams, a piercing shriek unlike anything that has ever emerged from his lips before. The sharp sound erupts through the air, slicing through the frenetic chaos of battle. In a flash, Lilia’s on his feet, surging forward, his heart pounding against his ribs like fists banging against the bars of a cell. Dread pulsates through him, clawing through his veins before clutching his soul in a vice grip.

Dropping to his knees, Lilia sweeps his son into his arms. His trembling fingers brush away loose strands of bloodstained hair, a single word spilling from his lips over and over. “No, no, nonononono—” He curls over Silver, his son, hands shaking him over and over, wrapped around his limp limbs. “Silver,” Lilia whispers, utterly broken. “Silver, please—”

The dreams that Malleus has spun for them, every minute detail painstakingly crafted and controlled by him, are a tricky, complicated mess. The rules of such fantasies are unknown to them. And yet, there is one rule that they have all stuck to upon ‘waking up’ and remembering the situation they’re in: they cannot die here. They cannot die in these dreams.

To die in these dreams would be catastrophic.

To die in these dreams would risk dying in real life.

Lilia trembles, fingers curling around the curve of Silver’s jaw, unable to tear his gaze away from his son. It feels as though he is suspended within a bubble with just the two of them; the chaos and carnage wrecking havoc around them have dulled to white noise, and Lilia can see flashes out of the corner of his eyes.

There is a faint shout — “STAY AWAY FROM THEM!” — accompanied shortly after by a cry of pain and the sound of a body slamming against a hard surface. Footsteps click closer, heard in a resounding clarity. Slowly, ever so slowly, Lilia raises his head. Twisting around, he narrows his eyes at the familiar figure standing behind him, a mocking smile painted across those void-touched lips.

“What a pity,” Malleus murmurs, voice like a rumble of thunder. He leans over, one arm reaching for Silver, only for Lilia to hiss, curling over his son — dead and lying in his arms — and swatting the man’s blot-dripping fingers away.

Malleus recoils, a brief flash of anger crossing his face. “How cruel of you. I care for Silver a great deal too, as you already know.”

“And yet you killed him,” Lilia spits, shaking under the weight of his anger, which flares within him and scorches his veins. With quivering hands, he moves Silver back to the floor with the tenderest of care — the last gesture of gentle mercy he shall show for a long while. And then Lilia rises to his feet, steeling his grief-stricken nerves as he turns to face Malleus properly.

The fae only arches an eyebrow, more annoyed than truly mad. “It cannot possibly be my fault that he chose to take a hit intended for you.” A nail scrapes against the underside of his chin. “Still,” Malleus muses, a sly smile slipping onto his lips, “it was a worthy sacrifice, do you not agree?”

With a screech, Lilia summons his axe and slams it into the ground, burying the sharp end of the metallic-green cleaver into the ground. “Don’t you dare speak of sacrifices,” he hisses, every word like a venomous poison, face contorted into pure fury. “You know nothing of what it means to sacrifice, Malleus. Nothing!”

“So you would rather render his sacrifice into a worthless, futile thing by continuing to stand against me?” Arms outstretched, Malleus cackles, a deranged smile splitting his lips. “Do you not understand, Lilia? It is pointless to stand against me.”

“Maybe it is,” Lilia retorts, yanking his cleaver out of the ground. “But do you truly expect me to stand down?” He feels tears pricking along his eyes, tears he chokes down in trade of some righteous rage. “You killed him, Malleus. He’s gone because of you.”

Here, in this realm of dreams, Lilia can at least use what Malleus had oh-so generously gifted him: his power, his strength, the vigour he’d had at the height of his former glory. And with his weapon clutched firmly in his grasp, Lilia lets out a blood curdling screech—

And dives back into the thick of war.

Silver startles awake.

He inhales, exhales, his chest rising and falling. There is something soft he is resting upon, a soft surface that tickles the back of his neck, the bare bits of skin exposed from the protective cloth of his dorm uniform. He can feel something cool and leathery wrapped in his hand, and as his gaze flicks to the side, Silver’s heart clenches at the sight of his father, a peaceful expression upon his slumbering face, gloved hand wrapped in Silver’s own.

For a moment, Silver allows himself to stare. To drink in every detail of Lilia’s peaceful expression, mouth parting slightly as he lets out a small sigh. His father rests on a bed of moss and flowers, a surface Silver realises extends to him and Sebek as well, the younger boy slumbering by Lilia’s other side. It is a kind anomaly amidst the cold stone of the thorn-filled lounge, something Silver realises could have only been magic-made.

It’s strange, Silver thinks. When he racks his brain, tries to think back to what he was dreaming of before he woke up, he comes up empty. It’s always been that way; he’s never been able to recall much of his dreams, save for hazy flickers that he grasps frantically onto, but can’t quite decipher.

What little threads of memories Silver can recall don’t make sense. He remembers encroaching darkness, exploring the valley, his father but younger, long hair swaying behind him.

Silver squeezes his eyes shut. His head is beginning to throb with pain.

The sound of humming fills the air, accompanied by the clack-clack of heels upon stone ground. Blinking his eyes open, Silver cranes his head to the best of his ability, limbs weighed down by an exhaustion he doesn’t understand. A shadow falls over him.

“Silver,” Malleus greets, the corners of his eyes creasing as he smiles down at him. His horns glow faintly with chartreuse hues, flames flickering from one slitted eye. Blot wafts around him lazily, dripping from his eyes, his arms, his claw-tipped fingers. “You have awoken.”

“L…Lord Malleus,” Silver chokes out, the words like sticky honey against his heavy tongue. Malleus merely hums his melody again, a song so familiar it makes his heart ache. The fae leans down, dipping onto his knees, and Silver can only shudder as one blot-covered nail comes to scrape against his cheek in a mockery of affection. “W-What…?”

“How fitting it is,” Malleus comments, nail tracing Silver’s jawline, from the dip below his ear to the tip of his chin, “that you wore yourself out by sacrificing yourself for Lilia.” Closing his eyes, Malleus’ lips thin. “Really, why is it that you all believe you will die permanently if you are to perish within my dreams? What a foolish notion. I only wish to give everyone the happiness they so dream of.”

He sacrificed himself for Lilia? Silver can hear his heartbeat quivering in his ears — ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump. Somehow… somehow, that feels right, even if he tries to scrape through his memories and comes up short.

The nail against his face pauses, before it pulls away. “How curious,” Malleus murmurs, a contemplative look in his eyes. He taps a finger against his chin. “The look on your face… Do you not recall what has occurred, Silver?”

“I—” Silver swallows, throat going dry. He knows… a little. He can infer enough to come to a conclusion, based on what he knows and remembers — that Malleus had sunk them all into a world of blissful, neverending dreams, and that somehow, they’d taken a stand against him. He tries to push himself up, only to fail. Silver curses his mysterious exhaustion. “I know enough,” he eventually says shortly.

“Do you?” Malleus gazes at him in a way that makes him feel small and insignificant. For a moment, Silver is five again, staring up at the tall prince as he visits him and his papa at their little cabin home together, gazing down at him, an inscrutable expression on his cold face.

There is a sigh, before Silver feels himself being shifted. His eyes widen, but there is little he can do as he is torn away from his father’s sleeping grip, their hands breaking apart as he is brought to rest on Malleus’ lap in a mockery of what he has done many times before.

Silver stares up at the fae. He is loath to call him his liege because the man above him is Malleus, but not the Malleus Silver knows.

Malleus stares back, lips breaking into an amused smile.

“Do you know the extent of how hard they are fighting, Silver?” he asks, voice low. “Even now, they still keep at their worthless battle, refusing to relent.” A sigh. “Do they not understand? It is pointless to resist.” For a moment, those eyes grow vacant, distant. “I only want what is best for everyone, Silver,” Malleus murmurs. “And yet, they all refuse to concede.” He shakes his head. “What an utter pity.”

“You want to lock us all within our dreams,” Silver says, hating the way his voice is weak. He swallows the lump in his throat, letting out a cough. “Why would we… not resist?”

“It is for all your sakes.” Malleus’ voice carries an edge of finality.

“Says who?”

A pause.

Rather than reply, Malleus simply hums again, displeased expression smoothening out into one that Silver cannot parse. One arm reaches past his shoulder, down his body, to the belts latched around his waist. Clawed fingers pluck the handle of his magestone baton, pulling it from its sheath.

And when Malleus turns it over in his hands, holding it above Silver’s face—

His blood turns to ice.

Blot. His magestone is clotted with it. Gone is the pristine, emerald surface of the gem, replaced instead by a dull grey, murky threads of ink swirling about inside it. Silver’s mouth parts, a gasp escaping his lips, eyes widening in his utter shock. “H-How?” he whispers, voice shaking. “I— That’s not possible!”

“Is it not, now?” Malleus replies easily. “You appear to be unaware of how much magic you exerted within everybody’s dreams. Or is your memory so bad that you do not even realise the potential of your own unique magic?”

His unique magic? He has one?

With his other hand, Malleus reaches for the gem, dragging one nail against the clouded surface, scraping against the hard stone, thoroughly coated with blot. “I wonder,” Malleus muses, lips curling into an amused smile, “how much more blot it would take to push you over the edge.

“After all,” he croons, pressing the cold surface of the gem against Silver’s cheek, causing the boy to shiver violently—

“Who would pass up the opportunity to call upon the help of their knight?”

[plague-of-insomnia]

I'm sorry if this is a silly question but I'm just curious. Do you know how much time Ciel and Sebastian spend in Weston? I haven't read the manga in a while but while watching the anime I just feel like everything is happening too fast??? Luke the whole are was done in 2 weeks max

Hi, anon, I am not someone who pays super close attention to the chronology of canon (as in, exactly what day/date things happen) partly bc I care more about the overall story and themes and the characters than minutiae like that. Not bc I think people who do are dumb but bc I’m more of an AU creator than canon so knowing the details like that to extreme doesn’t really benefit me much so it doesn’t interest me to spend the time doing it. (Though I know at least one person did come up with a timeline through a certain point in the manga years ago, which you may find if you do a google search.)

But what I can tell you is Ciel comes home from the Campania before Easter and arrives at Weston presumably after that holiday, so likely in March or April. (I could probably find out exactly when Easter happened in 1889 but I honestly could care less lol.) We also know from McMillian that he is joining mid-term. It’s actually a clever way for Yana to have the school “begin” in Spring (which is familiar/nostalgic for Japanese audiences, where school years begin in April, usually) while still reconciling with the Western tradition of beginning in the fall.

We also know the cricket tournament takes place on the 4th of June—probably a day Yana picked since it plays with the theme of four (four houses, four prefects) in the arc but also because the number has an association with death in Japanese.

This means that Ciel is not a student at Weston for very long at all—only 2-3 months at most—since the midnight tea party happens after the cricket completes and presumably marks the end (or close to it) of the school year/term.

Honestly, until the last episode I think the anime has been perfectly paced with the manga. They’ve really made only minor shifts and mostly expanded things, so they’re following Yana’s vision fairly closely.

The one major thing is that this episode shoves most of two chapters into one, when it really could have been done in two. But that would mean 12 episodes. and I suspect the team was worried if they didn’t get the cricket part over fast, they might risk losing/boring their core audience.

One huge change they did was take out the explanation of the game itself and its basic rules, which Bard explains in the manga. This was likely done for time/space reasons but also because they may have figured most viewers don’t care and they can communicate enough for people to understand and follow along even if they don’t understand the rules of the game itself.

This is partly perhaps because the cricket part of the arc was not well received in Japan and was one of the least popular chapters, supposedly. It’s why I was shocked they turned it into a musical a couple years ago.

I was a bit disappointed to lose all that not only bc we lost a nice scene with Bard and the servants (they cut a scene with them where they have lunch, though it’s possible that could make it into next episode, but I won’t hold my breath), but also bc I’m like the ONE person who genuinely enjoyed the cricket part of the arc, and it’s one reason this arc is my second favorite in many ways.

I LOVE seeing Ciel and Seb working together in devious ways to get their mission accomplished, and how far Ciel is willing to go to win. Ofc we can still appreciate it anyway, but the fact that he so carefully works within the limits of the rules— and in fact, I learned in commentary on the arc that some of the rules Ciel takes advantage of were actually changed not long after this period of time, which is a fun detail.

So it could be things feel like they’re moving fast because in a sense they are, but it also could be you’re sensing that urgency from how rushed this last episode was. But I suspect when all is said and done, and you watch the entire thing, it probably won’t feel as off. Book of Murder took place over only 3 days, and Seb and Ciel were not at the circus long at all. I can’t be sure but maybe only a week or two? And ofc the campania adventure was also only a few days. In fact, this may actually be the longest mission in the series to this point. So it seems like most missions don’t take too long.

Hope that answers your question! I’ve been looking through the chapters in this arc before every episode to get a sense for the pacing and they’ve generally fallen exactly where I expect. This episode being one exception since they really did condense a lot.

[ananiel]

Darling!!! Hello, How are you? I come back to Tumblr with another idea in my head. And I hope you ready to listen. Well... I was rereading the stories with Obanai! Reader. And I was wondering what we could think about the next.

And as I was saying in my headcanons Louise and Hugo are smart children and having already put the whole puzzle together in the head they wouldn't want their mom to come back. But deep in their hearts they will be very glad about it but they wouldn't show it.

And Sherliam manage Darling back home! (At that moment Louise and Hugo were 4 years old) Let's Obi and W! reader suffer together 🤣 (To be honest W! reader and Louis pairing are the most healthiest to me) And Sherliam noticed the overprotective ness from the children but wouldn't think much about it. Believing that they just want all their mother's attention to be on them and they are jealous because they take all her attention to themselves (Hugo and Louise are jealous bc of it but they will never admit it). And Sherliam adore them. And children (they will never admit this as well) love them as well.

For The next chapter i have something in mind already, though i am not sure when it Will be posted.

My idea is that Yes, sherliam Will get their darling back, they Will find her at the witches' home, and when they return, of course, William Will have problems with witch! Reader, because she hid his darling, which having problems, Louis Will be in a dilema, because he loves witch! Reader, but he loves his brother also, and he doesn't want to see them in conflict, but at the same time, witch! Reader moves away from him to stay with obanai reader and the kids, which makes Louis resent sherlock, and a little William too, because life was perfect, then they came back and now his life is Turning upside down.

Louis loves his brother, Yes, but he found another sourse of love, one that is his darling, and because he loves her, he Will step up for her, which Will bring conflict between the brothers. Though in his love for his brother, Louis might chose to leave, rather than constant fear for his darling's safety

I haven't really added Albert here, because i like playing mind games, switching timelines, and right now, Albert has his own "love travel" to do, one that will leave also make sense of why after a while Mycroft doesn't really look for The kids anymore.

Call me a sadist, but i love having a character that i love have a turmoil of emotions going on inside their head, fighting with themselves on what's the good or what's the evil of the story

(also question for future fanfic, anyone knows rusty lake?)

[horizon-verizon]

I'm YOU but I'm crossing my fingers that the Alicole thing is a lie. I can't take the crazy writing decisions of this show anymore!! Can someone in the writing room give consistency to TG?! Certainly the blacks were robbed and diminished but they are also moderately consistent in their writing

I swear I'm crying and pulling my hair, hitting my head to see if a concussion makes any of this make sense. Alicent "you are the threat Aegon", Alicent "OMG they planned an usurpation?!" Alicent "she will kill my children", Alicent "UPS my son killed hers", Alicent "I want his eye", Alicent "Aemond be good to those guys ❤️" Alicent "extramarital sex is bad", Alicent "Cole is the exception". What do you want Alicent?! What do you really believe in?! This goes beyond being hypocritical and using patriarchy to her advantage, What Alicent believes from one chapter to the next changes according to the need of the script. Just give that poor woman some consistency, the cognitive dissonance can't be that strong 😭

If I have to grab Show!Alicent and analyze her motives, what she wants and what she is... I'm left blank. She is a plot device that instead of allowing her to move the plot they kept her locked away and untouchable. She's not nuanced, she's inconsistent.

I can't be bothered, I've long given up on the show. I'm here for memes, article links, the dragons, and enjoying being proven right as obnoxious as that seem or is. To me, this show and its writers have been obnoxious, sexist, and condescending. Sure the dragons will be entertaining if maybe not as colorful as they should be--which might just be a trailer-specific dilution to otherwise make the preimeire that much more visually stunning--but I have a sneaking suspicion the writing will fall too short for other characters or contradict itself again.

Alicole will be just hilarious to me.

But to get into Alicent's character (bc I can't resist):

"OMG they planned an usurpation?!"

I believe it wasn't that they planned a usurpation, but that she was left out of their plans and those plans being to murder Rhaneyra. About the murdering Rhaenyra part, I do look 👀 at her, bc...this is a usurpation and you have already tried to get this women/her kids' lives ruined on multiple occassions or put those kids' lives in danger! Clear inconsistency. However, the fact that these men planned without including her at all is definitely a good thing in terms of her hypocritical characterization--the leopards have eaten her face. It's just her immediate desire to save Rhaenyra out of "love" is some crazy ass bullshit.

Alicent "she will kill my children", Alicent "UPS my son killed hers"

By the 2nd I take it you meant her surprise in how Aemond could have ever killed her kid during an envoy mission before Rhaenrya could try to any of them, thus immediately proving herself/Otto wrong. I'm fine with this actually. Again, describes and paints her hypocrisy, and the problem is that she then continues (by the trailers) try to diminish it as Aemond wanting semi-righteous revenge. To me, despite the whole kin-slaying being a huge cultural no-no, Alicent is also betraying Viserys' and going against his word before Aemond kills Luke. She has always been this way.

Alicent "extramarital sex is bad", Alicent "Cole is the exception".

Same as above. Alicent may make herself-Criston the exception bc she is at least "hiding" her relationship and (MAYBE, if it began after Viserys died) it was not while she was married...as if this would matter to the Andal-Faith patriarchal authorities of womanly behavior and totally save them from their condemnation?! Think of Otto's reaction if he were to know? He would either be as horrified and shocked, or he already knows and keeps mum bc it is towards his benefit but he'd still resent & be disgusted with her or accuse her of being sluttish privately as if he's the paragon of sexual ethics. Again, perfectly shows her hypocrisy.

Really, it's that she doesn't have her bk!counterpart's ruthless politicking except in one episode out of 10 (the 6th one). It's ruined by the implication that she cannot really think or reason bc she was SAed for most of her married life and pimped out, which spells some disturbing, oversimplifying implications for SA victims and esp those who are femme, female identifying, or women/girls. From the already-there notion of femininity being innately "irrational", creative, and nonintellectual.

But I also ultimately agree with you abt her being more a plot device than a character who does what the script of the day requires her---once more, bc she's forced to delusionally see possible friendship in Rhaenyra AND bc she doesn't have a clear, steady, personal motive separate from the stuff Otto-the-individual imparts on her and that guides her actions aside from blind envy and a need to see everyone conform towards the "peace for the realm" that she herself doesn't even follow. Not like with Rhaenyra's desire to find some sort of functioning and the least self-erasing compromise b/t duty and happiness/autonomy when we see her w/Aemma.

We never truly established what Alicent wanted at the core--in the bk, that was the highest rank, prestige, etc. possible for a woman. In the first season, all the possible possibilities and things you can see in Olivia's portrayals show a woman wanting to find final validation within the system...but we needed a more concrete aim aside from her jealousy and other than fear of her kids dying, which is what we were left with. Show!Alicent went wherever the wind took her (the wind here Otto, perceived expectations of her, and her own resentments). That's the heart of the grand inconsistency, I think. The void that is this character.

They never replaced Alicent's loss of ambition with something just as self-serving than just "she should suffer like me" that guides and justifies that inner feeling into the real world. Something that would keep her interesting and engaged with the war players.

Rhaenyra still has huge issues in her characterization that I already went over in other posts. This article by some Substack writer also gets into it, but overall, Rhaenyra is more steady & concrete than Alicent.

[arwenkenobi48]

I’ve decided to make my own rewrite of alternate Gabriel and put him in a new original story, in light of recent events

[Warning: long post]

Basically, Gabe (as he is now called) is the subject of a painting created by an artist who unknowingly has the power to bring his artwork to life. Gabe loved it when his creator called him the most beautiful thing he’d seen and when the artist moved on to other projects, the painted angel basically went mad with jealousy.

Breaking free from his canvas, Gabe began corrupting the artist’s other paintings, turning them into twisted, monstrous images. When the horrified artist saw what was happening, he decried Gabe as a monster. Heartbroken and furious that his creator rejected him, Gabe killed the man and used his blood to create a new painting; a portrait identical to his dead creator, one that would be eternally loyal to him.

Gabe’s second in command, simply known as Edward (an expy of Six/the Intruder), still retains the skills of an artist and the mysterious powers he possessed before his murder. He creates more disturbing minions for his master, all while passing them off as ‘horror art’.

The vast majority of these art pieces fall into the hands of an eccentric rich man named Zekiel Thomson, who adds them to his vast collection. This guy’s so rich he has his own private art gallery that he shows off to all his wealthy socialite friends. After installing the ‘horror art’, however, things begin to take a turn for the worse.

First, mysterious music is heard in the night; the sickly sweet sound of a harp and the operatic voice of an angel. The last person to awaken to its sound is found dead the next day, mutilated and - most disturbingly - with a significant amount of blood missing.

As more and more of these mysterious murders unfold, Zekiel is plagued by nightmares in which Gabe’s demonic underlings are tormenting him. He resorts to hiring a detective named Vincent Truman, who’s something of a theology/occult enthusiast.

The main framing sequence of the story is told through Vincent’s notes on the case, as he goes from being sceptical of Zekiel’s credibility to finding himself in a tangled web of mass murder and blood magic, to standing face to face with the devil himself, The Painted Angel, Gabe.

I haven’t yet decided on a title for this story, but I quite like the sound of The Painted Angel. The Peculiar Case of Zekiel Thomson is another potential title, although it is a little wordy.

Also I decided to set the whole thing in England bc that’s a pretty good place for haunted paintings and unexplained phenomena. Adds a gothic feel to the whole thing too.

Kinda toying with the idea of frequently switching between different POVs between chapters but I don’t want it to get confusing. I guess that once I have the entire story mapped out it should be fine.

There’s going to be recurring themes of facing one’s inner demons, unprocessed trauma and self worth. Elements of the horror game Layers of Fear, an old Victorian story titled The New Mother, Skinamarink and Motion Picture Soundtrack by Radiohead are also going to be worked into the project.

I haven’t yet decided if this is going to be a straight up novel or a comic yet. My ability to draw is…inconsistent at best. I feel like the story might work better with some accompanying visuals, though.

But yeah that’s my thoughts so far. I have had bits and pieces of this project in my drafts for a while but I had no idea what to do with it. I think this could probably tie it all together.

Now I need to get some sleep bc I am exhausted. Lmk what you think of this idea and feel free to suggest any potential titles.

[braemjeorn]

CHAPTER XVI [masterlist]

pairing: bang chan x ofc

genre/notes: general audience; regency period drama; family fluff; domesticity; ocassional angst; slowburn; governess!oc; nobility!BC; age differences; age changes

wordcount: 3.5k

summary: mari resettled her calibre and hyunjin celebrated his 10th birthday.

also available in ao3, if you prefer that format

© Do not repost, copy, or republish into another site or under another name.

⚠️ All characters that shares the name of real life person in this story are represented in a fictional manner for entertainment purpose, and not to be alluded with real life.

TAGLIST: @spookykryptoniteperson @nixtape-foryou @do-you-know-what-else-is-big

Mari departed after Sunday lunch. Mother Ahn gave some of her biscuits and Junhee the flowers, while Inha tied the ribbons of her hat and hugged her warmly. The carriage—summoned in a rather sudden manner that Sunday—rattled away, and Mari thought that never before had she ached to be in another place within another company in her life when she was ever content to be confined in the school and the village of O–.

It was dark when she arrived at Barlnshore, but Mr Kang received her just as warmly as he did months ago. She meant to quietly go upstairs to clean herself a bit before surprising the boys by their bedroom. Yet Mari had but started to climb the flight of stairs when she felt and heard the thrum of footsteps, rushing down the hall and then descending the steps in a flurry. She laughed as Changbin’s voice rose higher in his excitement, “You’re home, you’re home, you’re home! Miss Son’s home!”

“I am home!” Mari laughed, as she caught him in arms on the landing. She sat down at the hurl of his weight, and the lad merely leaned further into her hold as he crouched down with her. Mari pulls him away to take a better look at his grinning face. 

“Did you grow taller? Our Changbinnie?”

“He grows wider,” came a biting grumble from above them.

“Minho, be kind—what did I say about your teasing?” Mari laughed, reaching a hand to the approaching figure. Changbin turned to swat the elder but moved to let him hug Mari.

“That I am not to be insulting— especially  to my brothers. I am to run my remarks through my head before I speak to them,” Minho recited flatly, by way of greeting. His punishment for the evening was a tightened hug that made him yelp, and then Mari nuzzled and ruffled his hair before letting him go for the next boy waiting for her.

“Hyunjin, sweetness—come kiss me.”

The boy gave her cheek a soft peck, melting into her arms. “You mustn’t leave, ever again!”

Mari might laugh at the statement to ease the boy otherwise. Yet as she looked into his wide eyes and found it grave, she realized that the settled arrangements would never allow it, and his eyes reflected her fears. It won’t do them both any good to ruin the joy with the truth now, so she settled by kissing him warmly upon his brow.

She let Jisung pepper her with as many kisses as he pleased and pulled Yongbok tighter as he giggled and nuzzled under her jaw. Behind their huddling figures was Commodore Bang, minding them all to let her breathe after a long journey, only for Seungmin to slip through him and crash into her arms. Mari smiled, and he relented to the nature of his overexcited pups.

“One would think you have returned from the other side of the ocean.” Commodore Bang shifted Jeongin in his hold and pulled one hand free to shake hers. “Good to have you back, my—... Miss Son.” 

Mari’s heart jumped to her throat, but she returned his smile, and they both ignored the slip. His grasp was a comforting reassurance. Mari was happy to note a warm, natural welcome in her heart. She knew she was in good company, and extended her thanks to him as far as his kind patronship over her all this while. Commodore Bang teased her for her sudden pretty words; the boys laughed; and Jeongin was stirred from his doze by the commotion. Mari cooed over his bleary eyes and tilted her head to be in his vision.

“Yen-ah,” Commodore Bang whispered, tapping the boy’s nose. “Look who’s back.”

The youngest took her in, quite in doubt with himself over the haziness. Mari chuckled. In that dreamy state, he extended his arm and reached out for her, thus eliciting raucous giggles from his older brothers.

“He’s so adorable!” came a squeal.

“Hyung, his eyes are barely open…” 

“He just knows Miss Son is here. Don’t you, Yen?”

“No, Yennie, she just came home from a long trip,” Commodore Bang said. Though barely awake, Jeongin made a most insistent effort. Mari let him come gladly, cherishing his warmth and weight.

“I don’t mind, Commodore,” she said. “Might as well take them all to bed.”

“You must rest yourself,” Commodore Bang replied, as Jeongin settled in her arm. “I’ll send for tea. We have rice cakes today with red beans - if you are hungry?”

Mari nodded, she could not refuse. “That will be lovely, Commodore, thank you.” 

It all felt too homey.

“A letter for Mr Bambam.”

The man had been lounging in the garden’s chair as if melting under the warm weather. But at the announcement he started, turned, and received the letter with glee that is almost childlike. “My angel remembers me!”

Sitting by him, Mari amusedly went on with her embroideries. They were enjoying the start of spring and the warm sun. The boys were talking with Bernard or playing, while the Commodore and Lady Jang took a turn around the garden. Mr Bambam opened the letter but closed it soon after a short perusal. 

“I must save it for later—before a warm fire, and a glass of good wine. Otherwise, she will distract me from my surroundings.”

As he folded the sheet, Mari noticed his gold ring, glinting sharply in the light. She paused and stared, wondering how she could have missed the article, being in his company all these months.

“You are married, Mr Bambam?” she found herself asking, more baffled than accusing. But quickly she felt it an impertinent remark, and continued, “Forgive me—it was rude of me to assume…”

Mr Bambam merely laughed. “I am. You are surprised, Miss Son? One would have thought you would be more observant. But then you already have seven heads to mind.”

“Bachelors are not uncommon,” Mari argued. “Or…—”

She nearly bit her lip at her slip, looking up rather fearfully at her companion. Mr Bambam’s eyes only glinted more playfully at her slip.

“Ah-ah-ah, come now—what ideas are evoked there, Miss Son?”

“Oh, forgive me. The thought of a lover did spring to mind,” Mari replied frankly. “My brains are quite scattered these days.”

“What if it is a lover?” Mr Bambam returned. “Will you think ill and lowly of me, Miss Son?”

“Perhaps,” Mari admitted quietly, for the lack of security and—in a way—general respect would not settle well with her. “I’m dreadfully proper and all… But I would not be unkind unless I genuinely dislike you, and I do not. I might argue a little, but otherwise… I would leave you to your stance of things.”

“Then spare your mind from such worries,” Mr Bambam said. “My wife and I were bound rightfully before the church and the law.”

They fell quiet for a moment; Mari wondered that the carefree uncle retained a bond with a woman like any other man. But with the state of things at present, it could hardly be measured as similar. Mari asked again. “Then why doesn’t she come with you?”

“You see how other couples are inseparable, we are quite the opposite. We don’t mind being as far apart as to be separated in countries, that is true, but not on bad terms.” The new look he gave Mari was more sincere but did not reduce his previous good humour. “Our marriage was arranged in our youth, and we married younger than you are now. We respect each other to not break the arrangement, but our desire for independence and exploration is yet satisfied. So we agreed to give each other leave to travel in our separate ways, delight in separate companies, and take responsibility for each endeavour’s outcome. People don’t understand how we can bear being separated for so long from one another, but then we are not united under normal circumstances. Others assume we loathe each other and were surprised at how warmly we’d greet one another if we crossed at an assembly, not knowing how long we haven’t seen one another.”

“I can imagine.”

“At least we do have a townhouse, a little place to retire to after the summer visits, balls, and excursions end. And well, there are the letters, which she has forgotten for some while, bless her soul. Considering the thickness of it, she must have missed me just as much to pay for so much news. My dear lady—even her writing delivers different comfort than those offered by friends.” 

His gaze was upon said friends, who were laughing with his boys. Mari felt sorrow and warmth from his description, and declared, “Despite the peculiar arrangement, I am glad. I wish you both great happiness.”

Mr Bambam turned to Mari, his humour returned with a chuckle, “Miss Son, you and your kind soul!”

“Please always be kind to one another. Should I not be able to find it on my own, I would like to see others having it.”

“I hope that will not be the case, Miss Son,” Mr Bambam said, taking her hand warmly and setting his expression into a hen-like aunt that made Mari giggle. 

“If you cannot find happiness with the prince of your dreams, then I hope you shall be comforted with one whose presence you can tolerate. And respect—that is important. But I wish you every good happiness under the sun—beyond mere toleration and contentment to a situation. You deserve greater than it, you deserve one who shares your regard and mind and admiration—for you are young and good, better than the rest of us common folks..”

“Mr Bambam, you know goodness doesn’t make happiness more deserved to few than others...”

Yet he dismisses her by shaking his head and grasping her hand with more insistence, “Take my wishes and fight for your happiness.”

Mari lowered her head, and Mr Bambam took it as a nod and returned to his tea. She picked up her needle again; after some quiet contemplation and boldness stemming from the sweet sponge sandwiches, found herself inquiring, "Do you think...one day you will live with her? Again, as couples commonly do?"

Mr Bambam paused from sipping his tea, a small smile rising on his face. "I should like to."

There was a reduction in the number of tables, therefore placing Mari at the end of the table. The boys were well aware of it.

“Where is her Ladyship?” Seungmin asked.

“She cannot leave the capital for so long—therefore she returned,” Commodore Bang replied. Mari felt it was somewhat too curt and sudden news. She barely expected it at all when they all adjourned for their soiree last night, in the drawing room. She recalled Lady Jang requesting Mari to play for her a particular tune, and her being quite reconciled to the state of beings to indulge the baroness—it was a rather quiet night for the adults, the children filling in the noise aside their playing. Commodore Bang and Lady Jang hardly shared glances.

“When did she leave?” so Mari asked.

Commodore Bang started as he looked up to her, seemingly surprised at her presence or perhaps placement right across him on the table. A cleared throat, then he answered, “At dawn; she wished to arrive by noon.”

Breakfast passed on with enough chatter, Changbin’s whines at Jisung’s teasings, and Jeongin’s giggles. The Commodore made another announcement nearing the end of the meal. 

“I shall look into schools starting tomorrow,” he said. “I have received my recommendations, and there is a particular institution I wish to look into. Who knows which might suit our Minho and Changbin better.”

“I suppose,” the eldest mused. The news didn’t bother him much, or he was in such good humour with a satisfied appetite, and thus Minho proceeded to tease the next eldest with winks. “Changbin’s school will have to be a particular one.”

"And some education would do good to smoothen that nonsense of yours, brother?” Changbin responded blandly. 

“Oh, but aren’t I taking you with me, Binnie? To occupy ourselves.”

“Minho…” Mari was concerned Changbin might strain his eyes squinting and frowning to the eldest. “Why don’t you finish your milk?”

“Yes, Mother.”

There was a strong thump in her ear, and Mari swore she cracked her neck looking up at the boy. Minho had returned to his plate, unaffected by his… slip? Was it intentional? A joke?

While she was frozen in place, Commodore Bang was as flustered by the words—his cup clattering upon the saucer as his ears bloomed red. He stared at the boy, who pointedly gulped his honeyed milk as the table fell silent. Changbin and Hyunjin gaped; the twins started; Jeongin persistently licked his jam, and Seungmin turned to look at the others. In the end, Mr Bambam’s loud entrance broke the tension and diverted their focus. 

The days pass with relative amiability. Mari kept her word that she would return a more energised figure, and their lessons went as well as she might have hoped. The following post-nap walks to the warming hills and fields under the blue sky allowed the spring’s warmth to envelop her soul. The eight of them went to the rivers and creeks they’ve traversed through the summer, delighting in the fresh green of the trees and flowers, pointing out the fishes in the now flowing river. Mari was revived in her pleasure of enjoying the boy’s company—everything was well in her world. Even as her final days as a governess were countable, and somehow busier than ever, she is determined to enjoy everything that passed in between.

One morning—not long after the Commodore’s departure to inspect a few schools—she was retrieving a better shirt for Jeongin and came upon Minho and Changbin sitting in the latter’s bed. Their vests were still unbuttoned and shoes untied, dressing forgotten as their heads leaned together in conversation, quite unaware of the flurry in the next room that is Hyunjin and Jisung bickering and the rest preparing themselves. Minho had glee lighting up his eyes; Changbin’s features more severe with his frown as he attended to the elder’s whispers, which were quite distinct for Mari to hear,

“…it should not be improper!”

Changbin groaned. “It’s too early in the morning to make any sense—should we not think of it further—?”

“Thinking would never achieve anything—we have to act!” In a harried manner, Minho pressed on, “Binnie, we’re running out of time—and who else would suit?”

“Does she even like him!?”

“Of course, she does!”

The floors creaked as she crossed to the wardrobe. There was a rustle of sheets. When she gazed back towards them, Changbin’s wide eyes flitted to her as he fixed his collar, while Minho began to tie his shoes. Mari tilted her head at them, more concerned at the lateness of the day.

“Breakfast is ready, come on and hurry down,” she said.

She didn’t see them again until they descended for the dining room, now fully dressed yet still absorbed in their low discussion; sharp whispers which certain bits came to her hearing.

“I could not care half the world if she’s not a lady, she’s better than the rest.”

“Was there ever any other?” came Changbin’s tired return.

“There you are kid, you’ve got the point! But then I meant it in the future probability…”

Mari wondered if their mischief had alighted, and thus sighed deeply at the possibility of injured and offended parties of people—especially if it involved matchmaking. Is it for the servants? She settled to keep a close eye on both without straining her nerves, just to delay the damage and urge them to take responsibility for any consequences.

Commodore Bang returned to the house just a day before Hyunjin’s birthday. The young man would say he was fine if they were to miss his big day, but Mari knew that everything fell into perfection for the boy the moment the carriage wheels rolled into the front of the house at the end of breakfast. The Commodore was in good humour, considering his laughter and the length of time it took him to relinquish Seungmin from his arms. 

At times Mari was concerned at the chances of Commodore Bang suffocating his boys with all his love—there’s no other word for it. It barely started and Changbin would send her this fatigued look (like he didn’t jab at his father every other hour) and Mari would ask the Commodore to release them from the coddlings. He’d sigh in surrender but gave them one last kiss with fondness lingering in his brown eyes. She wondered how he survived refusing all that love for three years. 

Studying was cut short for Hyunjin’s birthday celebration. There was nothing much for the party but Mr Bambam, Mari, Commodore Bang, Mr Kang, Minatozaki-san, and the boys. There was little acquaintanceship with the neighbourhood boys their age, but soon Hyunjin would grow older, and invite his friends home or assemble his parties in some apartment in the capital. A far too raucous image for Mari to think of the young black-haired angel before her at present. For now, she joined his delight over the books and toys from his brothers and Mr Bambam, receiving his beaming smile over the new handkerchiefs Mari stitched for him. 

“I feel like a true gentleman,” he declared as he hugged Mari, to the giggles of the room. 

There were his favourite foods and treats, but Mari was certain, nothing pleased and awed him more than the watercolour paints in the mahogany box his father presented to him. It’s a beautiful, polished wooden box; on the inner side of the lid, a picture of the brand, and the box itself is separated into several compartments: for eighteen watercolour cakes, the brushes, the sponge and napkin, a deep box for the water glass and the most interesting contraption of the drawer at the bottom. It was filled with thick papers, and the Commodore offered another rim of it wrapped in brown paper.

Unable to contain his excitement at being indulged so, Hyunjin leaped away to his feet, was all smiles and laughter upon his father as he skipped in the middle of the room. “Appa, Appa! There’s so many!”

He’s a sight of sheer childish joy; his older brothers laughed at him good-naturedly, and the Commodore smiled, satisfied and revelling in his son’s pleasure. “Do you like them?”

Hyunjin finally settled down his jitters, only to run and leap into his father’s open arms, clutching the man with his four limbs tightly.

“You're welcome,” Commodore Bang laughed, arms holding Hyunjin close to him and brushing over his back. “You know,” he continued. “There is a painter in town willing to give you some lessons. If you’d like to, I'll take you there every Tuesday and Friday for an hour of lessons.”

Hyunjin pulled away to look at his father with a gasp one might have thought exaggerated. Mari couldn’t blame him—she met the Commodore’s twinkling eyes and sighed, “Oh, Hyunjin, how wonderful!”

“I just thought it would be nice if you—”

“Yes, yes,  yes, yes! ”

“—know how to use these paints to create the finest art.” Commodore Bang chuckled halfway at Hyunjin’s eager nods, despite the loud reply that might have rang his ears. “All right, then?”

“I’ll work very hard for that! Oh, I’ll do very well—I promise you won’t regret it, Father.”

“I know, Hyunnie, I know.” They hugged warmly for another moment until Hyunjin slipped down to observe the paints more closely with his brothers.

“Anyone else joining the artistic endeavour?” Mr Bambam inquired from his seat and his glass of ginger soda.

“I’ll settle with my slate and chickens,” Minho said blandly. “At least Bbokie likes my chickens, right?”

The younger twin giggles, “Scrawny legs!”

Come Sunday, Minho paused in their walk returning from church, waiting for Mari who trailed in the back as the rest urged their Father to hurry for breakfast. He paced by her side, and by and by asked,

“Do you like Father? Honestly?”

Mari turned to the eldest. “All of a sudden?”

“You’ve known him for nine months. I would like to know your opinion of him.”

“And what purpose will that achieve?” Mari laughed but soon returned to a degree of seriousness, and said in a quiet breath against the fullness in her bosom, “Do you want my assessment? Well, I do like him. How could I not?”

“Truly?”

“He’s a good and admirable man, and I regard him with high respect,” so Mari satisfied the boy with some elaboration.

“As an… employer?” 

Mari nodded, and Minho fell quiet again, until he asked, “Do you—think of him as a friend?”

“I could not claim it. I think such a degree of relationship is something we both must agree upon.”

“It’s just friendship,” Minho mumbled. But then he gave himself a nod and they turned to speak of other matters instead. It did not quite leave Mari’s mind for some days, especially when she could take in the Commodore’s presence and consider him. It was easier to laugh at her meltdown earlier that month when she went home to Mrs Ahn’s—and the lack of Lady Jang’s presence did some good to relieve her from the miserable dread that she was doomed to eternal loneliness and estranged forever on from the house; the most depressing outcomes in her occupation as a teacher.

i edited this with my short free time, but I hope you like the reunion scene. minbin are picking up a scent, are they?

minho's the mom of the group but I do wonder what chaos may happen of the other six look up to him as an actual brother.

[igbylicious]

im so sorry im late ozr I read the new chapter as soon as I saw the notification but it was such a hectic week I couldn't get my thoughts in order (not like I am about to make any sense lol). Whichever way has become such a safe space for me tbh icb we only got 2 chapters left T_T

the intro of woo and reader's setting up the new boundaries was honestly delightful to read like things aren't just magically hunky dory now that he moved in w/ san but they talk about things and compromise and it's honestly an estimate to your ability to write about the little moments so well too. I swear I can read a whole book of just those little moments!!! maybe if you're up to it we can get more spin offs in this universe (can you notice me clinging to this fic??)

I love instigator Woo bless him for noticing reader's hesitancy and understanding her concerns while still pushing her to see past it. PUSSY DRUNK WOO MY BELOVED IS BAAAAACK!! honestly felt my stomach flutter reading that part and I just (,,♡ᵕ♡,,)

BUT OH GOD SAN??????????? this might have reawakened a part of me I thought was long gone because wth bro. he was in his element and THRIVING!! using reader's panties as a gag for woo was too hot i don't think i can be normal about this im afraid. the degradation, the overstimulation the POSSESSIVENESS???? do you want me dead???????

AND OF COURSE THE AFTERCARE AND THE WINDDOWN AFTER! *chef's kiss* i wanna hug them all they're just the most precious babies!! the san video might have broken my brain but I am so glad reader got her wish.

Another great chapter as always igby!! truly can't wait to read what you write next! I hope you're feeling better!

asdjhasdjhasdhj ahhhhhh i am meltinngggggggggg at this ask ;;♡ you’re always so generous w/ your thoughts, i appreciate you taking the time SO much!!! (and pls don’t worry abt being ‘late’, there is no such thing! you could show up in my inbox two years after an update and i’d be hecken THRILLED to see your name pop up! your asks always make my day, but i’m the last person who’s gonna judge others for being too busy or not having the spare batteries asdskjasdjk i understand the struggle :’) )

i’m really happy you enjoyed the lil moments hehe i love putting those in! i want to be careful abt making hard promises bc there are other projects i’m also excited abt, but i’m also super attached to these lil guys so there totally is a chance i’ll write more for this au after the fic is done ^^ i even got some notes jotted down for drabble ideas that don’t fit into the main fic (♡ ˙ ︶ ˙ ♡)

Wooyoung multi-tasking his emotional intelligence w/ his horny appetites is what we’re here for hehe <3 and asdjhdasjh ngl i’m p sure the demon that possesses San on stage took a bite out of me for this one @_@

FOR REAL I ALWAYS GET SO GIDDY AT YOUR COMMENTS ASKDJASKJDSAJK BUT PLS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOO (◕‿◕)♡ hope your days are less hectic!!!

[strongheartneteyam]

💌 A messy open letter/life update to my moots, readers and followers (?)

MY LOVES MY ANGELS HI!!!

IM SO SORRY FOR NEGLECTING Y'ALL FOR SO LONG my kitten is just now healed enough (not fully healed yet. she still has sutures) for me to be able to let her walk around the room and play by herself without being too dangerous for her health and I FINALLY was able to sleep more these last 4 days (I didn't talk to ANY of my friends for 3 days bc all I could do was sleep - even during the day, like, a lot - watch movies n read a bit (books, not fanfiction)/study neuroscience and anatomy a bit) so, now, I'm only like 70% recovered from so much sleep deprivation (being an amateur nurse for a spayed kitten and also doing house chores, mostly by yourself, ain't easy) and I've been logging in here for like only 30 minutes up to a maximum of like 1 hour or so, and not even everyday, just editing some stuff on my posted fanfiction/checking my notifications, messages, asks and OMG you guys are AMAZING!!! So much love that I'm receiving, from moots, readers, followers or even people who I don't think follow me but they support my works somehow, even after me being gone for this long while... IM SO THANKFUL AND MOVED!!! I love this fandom SO MUCH! I have no words!! I've been in many fandoms in my life and the Avatar one is by far the most supportive, peaceful - to a certain extent - and full of good energy and love! I PROMISE I will get to answer y'all soon enough!

And about the talk that's been going on about the fandom dying, DONT U WORRY MY BABIES, MOMMA VICTÓRIA AINT GOING NOWHERE! Speaking for me, at least, this tall blue aliens obsession is NOT something temporary! I'll be writing my lil stories for y'all forever, if I'm able to (lol) 🤍 I've loved Avatar since the first time I watched the 2009 movie, back when it was released and I was a child, and now that I'm a grown woman in her 20s, I still feel such a big connection to this fictional universe, in a literal spiritual level. I was a pagan/had a witchy/nature based spirituality for years of my life, tho I'm not pagan anymore, since I slowly realized I never truly believed in the pagan gods and magick, but, instead, I just see God in nature and see it as sacred and something that should be respected and taken care of, instead of destroyed. I also have indigenous heritage from my great grandmother, love my indigenous culture, live in a small town, next to the countryside, always felt crazily connected to nature and the Universe and been deeply fascinated by space, aliens, sci-fi, fantasy, always been called a "hippie" by people, either to tease me playfully or to try to make me feel bad for being a bit too much like Kiri Sully (istg me and Kiri are one and the same) so, this fandom serves me JUST RIGHT 😅🫀✨🌱👽💕 I'm here to stay and I WILL help keep this wonderful fandom alive!!! 💖

Anyways... I feel like I already "talked" way too much lol I'm wordy, sorry 🥲 but that's one of the reasons I can write well, so... it's got its bad and its good side ahaha

Speaking of writing, I have like 6 to 7 chapters of Realize where you belong saved (only need to edit and fill in some gaps) bc, even in the middle of so much physical and mental working, I'VE BEEN SO BLESSED with inspiration and been able to write A LOT lately, in the wee free time I've been having, so... if you're reading this fanfiction, I might be updating it later today or tomorrow!

Hope you're all doing good and taking care of yourselves! I've been trying to! I LOVE Y'ALL TO THE MOON AND BACK 💘

With love, your messy and a bit crazy but honest and caring fanfiction writer,

Victória ♡

[dreamsclock]

THE ULTIMATE DREAMSCLOCK UPDATE!

hello. hi. as most of u are probably very unsurprised to hear, i have bit off WAY more than i can chew in terms of personal projects. this is now something i am beginning to belatedly realize is A Problem for many reasons. mainly a) i am chronically overwhelmed esp with the biggest exams of my LIFE next months and b) i can’t take on any more projects realistically that i want to begin.

poll + more info under readmore bc i have chronic can’t-shut-up syndrome (adhd)

SO. in order to actually produce content for you guys i am Cutting Back Which Fics I Work On. at least until july. this SHOULD allow me to finish at least some fics and hopefully move on in the summer to other ones, but since im indecisive i thought i’d let YOU guys decide which fics i continue to work on!!! so here’s a poll.

the top five will continue to be worked on, and i plan to finish checkmate + hold him close in the next week anyway. so vote for your next five faves, and from there i’ll figure out which ones i’m gonna continue

this SHOULD help me make a good dent in these fics while also working on stuff that makes people happy :]

IN ADDITION TO THIS. i am also only streaming three times a week. ‘only?’ you might be thinking. ‘sparrow dreamsclock, you don’t even stream ONCE a week!’ to which i say Be Quiet. kidding but i’ve been putting way too much pressure on myself to try and stream every night and then beating myself up when i’m too tired 😭 so hopefully limiting myself to three times a week helps!!

STREAM DAYS: Monday, Wednesday, Saturday

I could stream more than this!! But at the very least you’re promised three streams a week unless something goes horribly wrong.

AO3 UPDATES: Wednesday, Sunday

AGAIN this is to try and give you guys some kind of consistency 😭😭 i know im very erratic + unreliable when it comes to uploading so i wanted to try and provide a schedule. no idea WHAT updates these will be, but you know Something will be posted there which is awesome

YOUTUBE UPLOADS: Beginning May

‘but sparrow!’ you may be saying. ‘you just said the most important exams of your life happen in may!’ to which i say Be Quiet. Yes. I Know. I’m An Idiot. but i wanna start providing youtube content Too!!! whether this be dsmp analysis or stream highlights or original minecraft choose-your-own-ending games i’ve made, i’ll be uploading (hopefully consistently) beginning may!!!! more info to come. unless i forget of course.

ANYWAY. if you’ve sat through all of this then HELLO HI!!!!! sorry. this announcement sounds self important and dumb but honestly even writing this out has eased like a load of my anxieties. ever since the end of 2021 i’ve been so overwhelmed with the frankly dumb amount of projects ive given myself, and it’s most of the reason ive been burned out since then too :’) thank u for being understanding and thank u for being such a source of inspiration for me and thank u thank u THANK U for being the best people ever muah ily

this starts from TODAY Btw!!! will be uploading a chapter of checkmate tonight and also streaming which i’m looking forward to. we’re gonna Chill until summer and then i can go crazy with projects again. but this feels more manageable!!!!

tune in for my stream tonight at 9pm (fnaf time FUCK YEAH) and thank u again :]

[rosastra]

GUILT

A vashmeryl fanfic, how two broken person might just be each other’s salvation.

Author’s notes : hiii, this is my very very FIRST fanfic ever! Please excuse my baby writing, I hope you’ll be able to enjoy my silly little scenarios 💙

Context : The story takes place two years after July’s incident (stampede lore). After Roberto’s death, Meryl and his niece, Milly, who is now her subordinate, found Vash and Wolfwood again. Thus began their group travel across noman’s land.

Note : Fluff this chapter, will be smut in the next one! Also some angst I guess? Not proofread bc I’m too impatient 🙌🏼

CHAPTER 1 :

“To those I couldn’t protect”

When they set foot inside the tiny inn, the smell of alcohol and freshly cooked food submerged them. The bar was full, people were eating, laughing and probably telling each other all about their adventures on the desertic planet.

It felt great. Finally seeing an ounce of what humanity is supposed to look like. These small moments of rest, which managed to lighten the memories of blood and fear, were cherished by the group.

Milly and wolfwood decided to register the rooms for the night, while Vash and Meryl desperately looked for a free table to relieve their hunger and dire need of a beer. It’s Vash that managed to find one first, used to move swiftly and rapidly around people to snatch the first spot that cleared up. So Meryl went to the bar to take all the orders.

By the time she came back, Milly and Wolfwood were back, already chatting with the blond man. As soon as she sat down again, Vash got some playing cards out of his bag to entertain the group while waiting for the food to arrive.

As time went on, the food was already downed, noting it really didn’t take long considering their level of starvation, and most of them were already on their third beer of the night. As usual, Vash and Wolfwood are the loudest, bickering about who won that last round or betting who will win the next. Milly, who already had way too much to drink for her small tolerance, puts oil to the fire like usual while Meryl gave up the idea of calming them long ago. Even though this scene might seem chaotic on the outside, it was that kind of night that the group wouldn’t trade for anything.

Seeing the smiles of her friends, Meryl feels both pure joy and sadness. She can’t help but feel the dreadful feeling of guilt, gripping at her back like a vulture would at the corpse of its long decayed prey. That is how she felt, at least, consumed from the inside, slowly and painfully.

He could have been here. Had she learned how to use a weapon before, how to defend herself earlier, maybe then, her mentor would still be at this table, judging the group like the old alcoholic man he was. But she knew that deep down he would have enjoyed it too.

While her face tries its best to hide her inner turmoil, a certain pair of eyes behind orange tinted glasses catches that slight change in the mood of the small reporter. But he doesn’t say anything. While he’s not sure what the issue is, that expression she has, he feels like he knows it far too well. What he does instead is to try and snap her out of her phase by pinching her between her eyes.

“Your turn to play, meryl. Or have you given up on first place already?”

She mimics a giggle. “Hah, never.”

———————

Wolfwood won, again. Even though him and the blond gunsman keep arguing about getting revenge, the state of Milly, barely able to form a proper sentence anymore, rings the bell of this evening’s end. After waving the others goodnight and bringing her subordinate back to her room, Meryl doesn’t feel quite ready to sleep yet. She felt exhausted, yes, but it was like that sweet taste of rest wasn’t allowed to her.

She keeps fidgeting under her blankets, staring at the ceiling. The horror of July’s incident keep on flashing before her eyes. Giving up on sleeping for now, the short girl opens the window, hoping the fresh air of the night will soothe her. Her skylight window stood on the highest part of the roof, making it easy for people to go out and sit on top of the inn for some stargazing. As she opens it, she notices a bright red cloth swinging lightly to the desert’s night wind, hiding partially the view of the stars.

Looking up, she sees Vash, sitting a bit higher, heads up and seemingly lost in thoughts.

She struggles a bit to climb out the window, but manages to land shakily on her two feet. The blond, as sharp as always, notices her right away.

‘’Ah, Meryl. I didn’t realize that was your room. Sorry, did I wake you up?’’ He says, giving her his signature soft and calming smile.

She shakes her head. ‘’ Not at all, I was still awake. Just thought a red curtain isn’t usually what I expect to see when looking out the window.’’

He giggles at her comment and taps down next to him, inviting her to sit beside him. ‘’Haha, sorry about that. Never remember how long that coat is.’’

‘’Shut it, I’m sure you sat there on purpose.’’

He probably did. And that thought made her smile. She knew he somehow never failed to notice when she was going through some internal turmoil. He always tried to cheer her up with small gestures, or by giving her a comforting but silent presence.

It was both incredible and stupid. How such simple gestures, coming from a specific person, could already lighten her mood and make her feel like her vultures are now trapped behind that person’s protective aura.

So she sits beside him, now also glancing up at the sky.

‘’Can’t sleep?’’ Vash asks, not looking at her.

‘’Can’t sleep.’’

‘’Do you want to talk about it?’’ He sounded really insecure formulating his question.

Now that surprised her. Yes he found ways to comfort her in some ways or another, but he never asked her directly, too scared to overstep maybe. ‘’About what?’’

‘’Ah, well, you looked like you were kind of out of it these days. You often seems to drift into your own world.’’ He seems like he instantly regrets asking.

‘’ I mean it would be bad if you spaced out while driving, we already had so many acciden— OW!’’ He’s interrupted by her fingers instantly pinching his ear.

‘’No comments on my driving skills.’’ Meryl pouts.

A bright laugh emanates from him, one that makes the world sound like a damn heaven. The reporter feels a light shade of red invading her plump cheeks, and a small smile breaks her pouty expression.

A comfortable silence sets itself between the two and the night sky. All you can hear are small gushes of wind and far away laughter from the last people getting out of the city’s bars. Sitting beside each other like this, enjoying the most simple of things, that might just be enough to her. She daydreams again, but this time about a long life, simple but always together. But when her fantasies of daily life happiness alongside the group crosses her mind, it strikes her again. The guilt.

She feels her throat closing in on itself, her heart banging rapidly against her ribcage but this time not from silly feelings towards her tall friend. Suddenly it’s hard for her to breathe and the memories flash once again. She sees Roberto, lying on the ground, head on her lap as he gives her his empty derringer. He can’t utter anything distinguishable enough for her to understand, his words are muffled by blood choking sounds. Her hand is pressed firmly where the reason of his pain is situated on his throat, covering her in amounts of blood she had never seen before.

He was telling her something. While handing that gun, he was telling her something! But she couldn’t understand it! Was he blaming her? Cursing her? Telling her to pick that damn gun and finally decide to defend herself. Maybe if she had done so earlier, he wouldn’t have had to take that hit instead of her. He would still be alive, drinking to his heart’s content, enjoying his cigarettes and writing simple articles that satisfied him plenty.

Her ears start ringing, her sight gets blurry while her eyes gets filled with tears and— she feels warmth. An incredibly comforting and soft warmth. If she could she would sink even deeper in it, until it was all she could feel.

Her eyes allow her to see the dark blue sky again, and she realizes that Vash had wrapped his arms around her, his head pressing on top of hers. He had stayed silent that whole time, giving her the time to come back around at her own pace. It felt like an eternity in her head, but when did he move that close to her? That means her saw her cry right? How embarrassing.

‘’Vash’’

He slighty flinch when her voice finally greets his ear again. It really must have been a while then.

‘’Meryl…’’ he’s interrupted by her arms encircling him tightly this time.

She’s embarrassed to have been seen in such a fragile state, but she’s so tired. Since her mentor’s death, she didn’t have the occasion to speak about her feelings with anyone, not wanting to burden Milly with the mention of her uncle’s death, or Vash, who probably had other things to worry about. Besides, telling him about her guilt felt like whining about insignificant matters when she knew how bad he felt for everything that happened these past 150 years. At the end of the day, she wanted to be there for him, she followed him exactly for that. He didn’t have to reciprocate her feelings or to bother about her struggles. As long as she could see his genuine smile, she was content.

But tonight, the pain is too big, too deep. And so she abandons herself to his, oh so warm embrace.

‘’I’m sorry, I… I just need a moment…’’

‘’Take as long as you need, Meryl.’’

Still resting his head on top of hers, Vash feels frustrated. He never wanted to see her in that state. Her soft smile and her joyful and sparky way of putting him back in his place when needed, were some of the rare things that kept him alive. He’s even mad at himself, if he could just have the courage to talk to her about it, to be her listening ear, someone she could confide in! He felt like he had no right to be the one to give her advice. After all, he had been the reason for the pain of so many before. But that look of despair he just saw on her face minutes ago does it. He can’t bear to remain a coward and leave her alone in this anymore. So he talks.

‘’I want to be there for you.’’

He surprises her once again.

‘’No matter what it is. No matter what you do. I want to listen and be there for you. Like you have for me.’’

It takes everything in her to not burst into desperate cries right here and there. And it takes even more to finally open her heart to him.

She weakly opens her mouth.

‘’Ever since July— no, ever since Jeneora Rock, the guilt has never left me. I don’t know how to live with myself, knowing my weakness and cowardice is the reason people have been hurt and even died.’’

She takes a deep breath.

‘’ After Jeneora Rock, I was sure I was going to change! I was going to make a difference and finally face the danger head on instead of running away!

But I was too pretentious, too stupid. Roberto died, and it’s all my fault. After dragging him along all of this, I should have at least been able to protect him, to save him! I should have… I should—!’’ The tears start falling down again making it hard to voice her thoughts, overwhelming her.

‘’My weakness, no matter what I do, it won’t change.. Roberto should have been the one to survive that day, not m—‘’ She’s immediately stopped, stunned by Vash who suddenly broke the hug to tightly place her face between his hands. He’s now looking at her intently, eye to eye level, his face a bit too close for her already racing heart.

She attempts to say his name. ‘’Don’t ever say that again.’’

How could he have not realized? Of course she would feel guilty about the things that happened, she cared so deeply for her friends, it should have been evident that those evenings would have gotten to her. Hell, he knew that feeling far too well himself. Yet his cowardice left her alone to deal with it.

He was so angry. At himself, at her as well, they had known each other for so long now, how could she talk like that about herself when she was the one who brought him so much joy in his life.

‘’Meryl, you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have enormous physical strength or flashy fighting skills. You manage to find hope in the most desperate moments, you never give up on what is dear to you.’’

She looks at him intensely, the tears have calmed down, letting place for a deep blush on her cheeks once again.

‘’Your ability to shine through every hardship, that is your strength Meryl. You motivate the people around you to be better, to do better!’’

‘’I’m sure that’s what Roberto thought too. After all, he was quite the grumpy man that saw everything in black and white when I first met you two. But after some time, I saw him soften up around you. That’s your power Meryl.’’

The small reporter giggles weakly. ‘’Haha, I guess it’s true that he was a bit less insufferable after some time…’’

She continues: ‘’But I’m sure he’s cursing me from heaven right now, that after all this time, I still can’t do much.’’

‘’That’s not true! You’ve done so much! You wrote an amazing article, trained an amazing new recruit, you’ve learned to shoot a gun, you found me again despite all my effort—‘’

‘’Say what now’’ here goes the pout again.

‘’Alright, sorry, sorry… but in the end, I’m glad you did. Maybe you don’t realize but you already give me so much everyday.’’ He utters, his voice going down in volume.

‘’Such as?’’ Meryl looks almost amused now, her eyes still puffy and her cheeks now dry.

‘’Well, first of all, you give me concussions from all those bumps from the card rides—‘’ He stops when her face contorts in a way that tells him he’ll die if he says one more word.

‘’Okay, okay’’ He laughs sincerely.

‘’You give me… hope…’’ His gaze softens at that. Not quite able to look directly into her eyes anymore.

‘’You give me joy.’’ Her face gets seriously red again.

‘’You give me a reason to keep fighting.’’

‘’Peacefully, of course?’’ She retorts, trying to hide her embarrassment. She mustn’t hope for anything, he’s just being nice to her.

‘’Always.’’ He looks at her again.

Now that he’s calmed down, vash realizes how close they actually are, and he attempts to remove his hands from her face. But she grabs them before he can. She’s not ready to lose his warmth just yet. So she holds him there, her hands on his.

Silence sets again, but something is different. Something is building up inside of them. Vash feels like his heart's gonna explode, he had had dreams where he got to be closer to her, but he never felt like he actually deserved it.

The silence feels extremely heavy, only the light wind can be heard now. Unconsciously, their face gets closer, their forehead now stuck against each other. It’s like their emotions are decoupled. They can feel everything, every movement, every heartbeat. Their hands almost merging together. Meryl can feel Vash’s breath against her face, ‘’smells like mint and beer’’ she thinks. His gaze drives down now.

And slowly, after what felt like a thousand years, the soft feeling of his lips invades her own.

The kiss is tender, and long, the both of them not quite able to separate. But when they do, it takes only a second for them to crash their lips against each other once again. Each new kiss, deeper than the previous one, brings more proximity than they both have ever felt. Meryl almost thought she saw a faint light of blue illuminating the man’s face but she brushes it off her mind, too eager to close the gap between them again.

When they painfully split from their embrace, their eyes stay locked, a shy excitement visible on each face. Their foreheads join again, they’re now laughing. It’s that kind of laugh you never thought you could hear from two broken people on a desert planet, but also the one they wish to never stop.

‘’Now we’ve done it huh.’’ Meryl says, closing her eyes, blotting herself against the tall blond.

‘’I never thought that day would come.’’ Vash is sincere. He actually still doesn’t understand how he could deserve to be blessed by such an amazing person. But for now, that thought is brushed away by meryl looking up at him once again.

‘’Will you stay with me tonight?’’