#newton oh newton they could never make me hate you

[max-the-silly-guy]

sigh I'm bored and sleep deprived anyways here's a doodle dump going from newest to oldest

[dreamwritesimagines]

Theory of Gravity

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female!Reader

Summary: Making small talk can be difficult with a crush.

Word Count: 1234

Genre: Fluff Oneshot

Content: Drinking, reader being awkward because she has a crush, flirting

Contrary to popular belief, snitching on the whereabouts of a very dangerous mobster in the bar you worked in and possibly getting killed or maimed in the process was not a good plan for a Friday night but to be completely honest, you had done worse things over a silly little crush.

Like back in college freshman year when you pretended to be into music biopics just so that the hot guy in your elective would think you two were meant to be.

So if anything, this was a pattern.

“Logan?” you said as you put his drink in front of him. “Can I ask you something?”

“Hm?”

“What was Galileo like?”

He blinked a couple of times, the familiar scowl that seemed to be etched on his handsome face getting deeper and you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat.

“Please tell me you’re joking,” he said. “I will lose all the belief I’ve never had in the first place in this country’s education system if you’re serious.”

You gave him a bright smile. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“I figured it was better than asking how the public took it when Newton came up with the theory of gravity.”  

The look on his face couldn’t be described with anything but complete horror and you let out a laugh, then went to serve another customer before quickly making your way to him.

“I’m just messing with you,” you said, leaning against the bar as you stole a look at the mobster sitting by the table with his men, then to Wade who was very, very busy with Vanessa by the corner.

“You look nervous,” Logan pointed out, making your head whip up before you cleared your throat.

“Nah, not at all,” you said. “I’m just thinking that if I die tonight, I’ll die doing what I love.”

“Which is?”

Gazing at older men who couldn’t look less interested in me.

“Being surrounded by drunk people who want to give me money,” you said. “Not a bad way to go.”

He scoffed into his drink before taking a sip while you nibbled on your lip, shifting your weight.

“Nothing is going to happen to you,” he said, his voice gruff. “We’re just waiting for his partner to show up, then we will deal with them both.”

You nodded your head. “Yeah. Sure, I know.”

“Do you?”

You nodded again, absentmindedly reaching out to play with the cocktail straw on the counter, painfully aware of his gaze on you that made your face burn.

“How’s grad school?”

…He remembered.

He remembered you saying that the last time he and Wade were here.

One simple observer would’ve thought he was on his knees proclaiming his undying love for you with the way your heartbeat went insane and his eyebrows rose as if he could hear it, but you quickly casted the thought away from your mind; that was surely impossible.

“Oh it’s going well!” you said, your voice going high-pitched for a moment. “Came for the hot professors, stayed for the education—I’m joking,” you added in a haste, waving a hand in the air. “I’m a very…very deep and intellectual individual.”

“Uh huh.”

“And none of my professors are hot,” you muttered and wiped at the damp spot on the counter with a napkin. “They should put that on the brochure if you ask me, it’s important information.”

“So you’ll be a doctor?”

“If by some miracle my dissertation goes through the jury,” you pointed out. “How about you? How’s your roommate situation with Wade going?”

He only grumbled something under his breath and you bit back a smile, then topped his drink.

“Thanks sweetheart.”

If there was one thing you hated the idea of more than dying was proving Freud right but it looked like you were going two for two tonight.

“So uh,” you said, trying to ignore the goosebumps rising on your arms because of his deep voice. “Hey, at least you have the place to yourself sometimes, no? When Wade is with Vanessa? Should give you some time to…bring someone home.”

And I volunteer as tribute.

He raised his brows, his unwavering gaze pinning you to your spot and you cleared your throat.

“Or—or someones,” you stammered. “Sky is the limit if you’re into that sort of thing. Now that it came up by the way, are…are you?”

“Am I bringing people home?” he asked as if he wanted to make sure that was what you were asking and you shrugged your shoulders, your face on fire.

“I’m just asking because, you know,” you began the sentence without having a clue on how you would finish it as usual. “I’m great at giving relationship advice, so if you were in a relationship I could be your own personal relationship coach.”

He pulled his brows together in confusion and you reached out to get the bowl full of peanut shells from his right just so that you could keep yourself busy, then turned the bowl over the garbage can.

“I’m not,” he said and you swallowed thickly.

“Who has the time for that these days, am I right?”

“Do you have—”

“Yes I have the time!” you cut him off, nodding your head in enthusiasm, your heart beating in your ears but he had already finished his sentence;

“…ice?”

You hoped to God tonight was the night you’d die because if that mobster in the corner didn’t shoot you, you were going to have to ask Wade to do it just to save you from this embarrassment.

“Oh,” you said after a beat as he stared at you. “Yeah—yeah I have ice, sorry.”

You rushed to get some ice and put it into his whiskey, biting inside your cheek and he cleared his throat.

“You don’t want to go out with me sweetheart.”

Well good news was that you had already made a fool of yourself so one could think the bar for your self-respect couldn’t get any lower, but boy oh boy you had already brought your metaphorical shovel.  

“I disagree,” you said, taking a deep breath. “I would very much love to if you were interested.”

“You think I’m not interested?”

“I feel like I’d have a better chance at proving you’re not interested with dates and references than my own thesis,” you pointed out. “And that’s saying something—”

“I am interested,” he cut you off, making your eyes widen and you gawked at him, frozen in your spot. “Trust me, that’s not the problem here.”

“Am I getting the I’m too dangerous for you speech?” you heard yourself ask through disbelief. “Because screw that speech. Honestly, the only thing I’m focused on in here is if you—fuck!”

He pulled his brows together. “If I—?”

“No no!” you said as you pointed at the back door where two men were dragging Wade through. “Wade!”

Logan cussed under his breath as he shot up from his stool.

“Don’t go anywhere, we’ll talk about this later,” he told you and made his way to the back door while you heaved a sigh, leaning back to the counter as he stepped outside and you caught the sight of him grabbing a man by the neck before the door slammed shut. You pressed a hand over your chest, then tilted your head back with a groan.

“Alright,” you muttered to yourself. “That was smooth.”

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 30

chapter 49:

1. jegulus jumpscare (it’s a dream i wasn’t expecting)

2. shit. the dream is about their wedding plans. i- i can’t do this shit while reg is in the arena

3. shit it’s raining and i know reg can’t handle it because of the last crimson river/arena

4. god, sirius wakes up to the rain and his first thought it to go save regulus

5. “"Lily, have you been using sex for favors?"

"No." Lily pauses, then snorts. "Well, alright, so this is how it works, yeah? I'm already having sex, and then I'm like, say, look at you all laid out and desperate to give me what I want; don't you want to do this very small, very simple thing for me? And then they mostly always say yes, and they get what they want, all while I'm having a grand time and also getting what I want. See? Win-win.””

😭😭😭 i love her your honor

6. “”I cannot believe that this revolution is partially running on your competency in sex."

"Oh, if only it could fully run on that. Everything would go so smoothly. Shit, we'd win the war in, like, a week.""

😭😭😭💍♥️ marry me please

7. “”I keep telling [Effie] I know exactly how to make her feel better, but she insists she's a married woman, and also far too old for me. Disappointing, really.”” 😭😭😭

8. james confronting lucius has me scared for remus. like, i know they can’t trace it back to remus, but i’m so scared

9. james is pissed at the world and it’s honestly scary

10. i know james is trying to use donations, but i’m also aware that riddle wants to make sure no donations make it to reg, sirius, or marlene

11. “"Aw, your boyfriend sent you a present," Rabastan teases, his tone lighthearted and good-natured.

"Fiancé," Regulus corrects sharply”

GAGGED. he took james’ words and fucking ran with it like nobody’s business

12. not narcissa welcoming james to the family 😭😭😭😭

13. james sent him a bagel and all the death eaters are making fun of him for being gay over it 😭😭

14. all james sent on the card was “???” 😭😭 pls that’s so funny

15. poor eli

16. the sad bonding over marlene and sirius having recovered from drinking problems

17. don’t tell me that the fucking crimson river hands are coming out the hedges. i- god i hope reg gets to personally witness riddle’s downfall

18. AND THE FUCKING GREEN MIST??? FUCK THIS

19. “You never truly do feel as alive as when death is breathing down your neck.”

oh he’s insane as hell. a black for sure

20. shit. sirius’ mind just went blank in the maze

21. the hallow is cruel beyond belief for this

22. “He has had dreams of Regulus, ah, using his dagger during…intimate moments, but is that something he'd actually do? Well… Okay, bad example.” 😭😭😭😭

23. james was so close to an epiphany about mcgonnagal making everyone hate the games. he was so close

24. “Thorfinn said he'd have to be killed to be stopped from going after Sirius, even though Regulus explicitly told him what he'd do about that, and so Regulus killed him. Newton's third law: for every action in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

bitch do not pull physics into this 😭😭

also that means that sir isaac newton existed in this universe, which if we see this as a future for our universe, it means that homophobia was prevalent at one point and the world straight up just eradicated it. 🤷🏽‍♀️ pro for this universe ig

25. “When he lifts his head, the first thing Regulus sees is his brother.

The second thing he sees is Sirius' fist, just the flash of it, just seconds before it collides with the side of his face.”

he had it coming fr

[alexjcrowley]

Hi, it's me, the author of the fucked everything au post, this one

I wanted to add some things, feel free to make your additions

-Sherlock is a firm believer in the Doctor, but he think Crowley is the Doctor, just disguised. He tried to nonchilantly pull his "red wig" from his head. (He has never run into the Doctor for some reason)

-Morpheus and Crowley talk shit about Lucifer when they're drunk.

-Watson and Wilson have a bet on whose partner will break the most law in a week. They're always very close wins.

-Dirk Gently and Aziraphale have become great friends, they take tea together every Thursday and they talk about all sort of stuff. Aziraphale finds Dirk captivating in his weirdness, he thinks he is a very interesting human.

-Scooby Doo is afraid of Dog (Adam's dog)

-Gregory House thinks paralibulites is made up, he steals a couple of Todd's pills to analyse them and see if they're like allucinogens but they're not. He forms an alliance with Sherlock to find out what the fuck is there in those pills.

-James Bond can imitate Benoit perfectly but Benoit can't imitate James, he can't get rid of the accent. Q finds James's impressions very amusing.

-Aziraphale and Philip talks about sweet recipes, they also exchange culinary creations, but, while Philip actually makes them, Aziraphale miracles them because he is shit at cooking. Philip always tells him that he is such a great baker and he feels like a beginner compared to him, Aziraphale smiles patting his arm and saying practice makes perfect. When Philip starts asking for details on how to make the perfect sponge cake or a mousse that won't melt, Aziraphale just miracles someone calling him because oh boy he doesn't know the first thing Philip is talking about.

-Both Sherlock and House tried to get Shaggy to sell them marijuana, unsuccessfully.

-Crowley loves to hear House going on and on about how God doesn't exist. It's hilarious for him. He has to physically stop himself from laughing. He pretends to agree with him.

-Dirk is the only one not fazed about Scooby Doo being a talking dog. When Crowley and Aziraphale are weirded out. They're trying to remember if it's one of their old miracles.

-Ascots were invented by Crowley, because they're simply an insult to style, and also he knew Aziraphale would have loved them. He is proud to see Benoit and Fred wearing them, they release a small but effective amount of evil into the world.

-I saw a post on Tumblr, I don't remember by who, that said if Benoit Blanc is with Hugh Grant it means at some point he had to choose between him and Colin Firth, you know, like in Bridget Jones Diary. This is now canon for me. Philip won Benoit Blanc's heart over Colin Firth and Philip hates talking about Colin, the idea that he could lose Benoit over him is just terrible to remember. Also Colin isn't really called Colin his name is Harry Bright. You were fools if you thought I'd leave Mamma Mia out of this.

-Dirk has heard Matthew the raven talk and Scooby Doo talk and now he is convinced he can talk to animals, that's a skill the universe granted him.

-Benoit Blanc and Aziraphale talk about fashion, obviously.

-If Q and Newton Pulsifer ever met all the computers in the world would explode.

-Also here's a small fic I read some time ago that I really love (and it's a House/Good Omens crossover) on how House and Wilson are alive and well in this au

-Dirk actually somewhat counts amongst the supernatural individuals so Crowley and Aziraphale and Dream and Hob started inviting him and Todd to their dinners. The point is Dirk and Todd haven't understood Ineffable Husbands and Dremling are supernatural individuals yet and they just think they're very eccentric folks.

-Dirk stole Crowley's Bentley once because The UniverseTM and Crowley has been trying to kill him ever since, but the Universe won't let Dirk die. This does not interfer with the Supernatural Dinners Aziraphale insists on hosting and the angel made him promise he won't try to kill Dirk at their house.

-He tries not show, but Sherlock is feeling the competitions with all of these other private detectives showing up. Especially Dirk, because he has no idea how they guy does since he looks like an idiot but he is always on top of the cases.

-Aziraphale unsuccessfully tries to buy the old medicine book Wilson gifted house for Christmas.

-Lestrade tried to stop the Scooby Doo Gang from interfering with a police case but ended up talking about cars with Fred and just...forgot he was supposed to stop these guys. He opted for closing an eye. It wasn't even his division, anyway.

-Q and Mycroft have been trying for years to obtain information on Hob Gadling, Aziraphale, Crowley and Morpheus at MI6 because, like, they're weird. They all come from families in which people always had roughly the same name for some reasons, their documents seem legit but there's something wrong about them. Also why is Crowley financing a witch hunting agency. Like yes he looks weird but not let's hunt witches in 2022 weird.

Dirk: "Your name is Sherlock? I have a friend named Sherlock!"

Sherlock: "It's not a very common name."

Dirk: "His name is Sherlock Hobbs."

Sherlock: "...Interesting."

Todd: "So you're like...you're Sherlock...and Watson."

Watson: "There are our names, yes."

Todd: "But, like, just like... Sherlock and Watson?"

Watson: "Yes. Again, these are our names."

-Benoit and Philip are very proud of Fred, they're only worried about his well being always travelling and having to deal with bad guys (especially Philip, he's scared for his son🥺), but luckily Q installed a tracking device in the Mystery Machine

-Sherlock is secretly fond of Steve McQueen the rat and will go to House's house (my God what did I write) just to pet it. House allows it.

-Sometimes Sherlock and House play together, violion and piano. They found out they have more in common than they'd like to admit and that they enjoy eachothers company, even if they'll never say it out loud.

-(btw I think it was @thesaltofcarthage to headcanon that House is Sherlock's biological father and yes it's far fetched but also I am not opposed to this at all, I like it a lot, I vibe with it so I leave this here and give her the due credits).

-The Them ask Morpheus if he is a new Horseman of the Apocalypse. Morpheus simply smiles at them and then tells Adam "My sister likes you" before going his way.

-Aziraphale dislikes Mycroft a lot because may I remind you Mark Gatiss played one of the two Nazis in the church who played Aziraphale for a fool with the book deal. The rest you know yada yada yada Crowley comes to the rescue.

-House often dreams of Fiddler's Green since he is played by Stephen Fry and he and Hugh Laurie are very close friends.

-I like to think Shaggy actually is an failed attempt at an Antichrist that didn't work out and yes he is...someway Lucifer's son. And kind of Adam's brother. But he doesn't know. Also Scooby Doo is an infernal hound like of course. And Shaggy wished for Scooby Doo to be his best friend and like food and be as scared as him of horror stuff so there you have it.

-Aziraphale knows Wilson. He knew John Keating, great professor, and he went to visit him at Welton Academy once. He remember Wilson when he was young, talentex actor, shame he went for medicine in the end, he could really have a future in the arts. Wilson tells himself his mind is playing tricks on him, the weird man he saw with Mr Keating once must be dead at this time.

Last thing I wanna add I didn't expect this whole everything-I've-ever-watched-au to resonate with people and I am happy you like it, I have fun writing but it's even better to share it with someone, please keep adding ideas and crossovers to this. All the comments and reblogs I had under my last posts were brilliant and all together we make a big brain of mind-blowing ideas.

[1016anon]

Title: So This Is Love Author: 1016anon Fandom: Bridgerton Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sharma Summary: Sticky and sweet.

A/N -- Food kink.

Please note: it is never my intent to kink-shame. In this drabble series, Anthony and Kate are exploring and having fun; not everything is going to be to their tastes.

- 2 -

"Anthony, what is that."

"Chocolate syrup."

"I can see that."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Fine, let me rephrase: why are you naked and holding chocolate syrup whilst looking like the world's worst advert for ergonomic mattresses?"

"World's sexiest advert, I should think."

"I am not licking chocolate sauce off your dick."

"That's fine, darling, because I will be doing all the licking."

"Anthony, we just bought this duvet."

"We'll buy another one."

"I like these sheets!"

"Is it just me, or do you not want to have sex?"

"I want to have sex!"

"Then what exactly is the problem?"

"I don't want to have to throw out our duvet and sheets because we can't get the stains out."

"The romance in our relationship is gone."

"You are the one who complains when Newton gets dog hair on the sofa."

"Then what do you suggest?"

"We should watch porn."

"Porn.  You want to watch porn to see how to lick chocolate syrup off one's partner's body."

"I want to see the set."

"Let's just–"

"Where are you going?"

"To the kitchen, where bloody else would I go?"

"No, I think I've seen people put a plastic sheet on the surface."

"Kate."

"Maybe if we cut a garbage bag."

"Kate."

"It should be called safe, sane, sanitary and consensual."

"I think the 'sanitary' is implied in 'safe' and–"

"Anthony!"

"Take your clothes off, lie down on these lovely sheets, and let me lick chocolate off your nipples, is that so difficult?"

Kate narrowed her eyes at him and began taking her shirt off very slowly.  Normally Anthony would appreciate a strip tease, but he was, quite frankly, frustrated, aroused, annoyed.  All for some chocolate syrup.

It almost wasn't worth the effort, but now that he'd spent so much time convincing Kate to let him have the dessert he deserved after a long day at the office, he was in it to win it.  Kate was going to let him lick every inch of her, she was going to enjoy it, and she was going to beg.  She had thrown down the gauntlet; his honor was at stake.

Which was why he pounced whilst her back was turned, carefully hanging up her trousers in the closet and taking off her bra. 

Anthony manhandled her to the bed and he tightened his grip when she began struggling; he'd decided he required some assistance from the cuffs and spreader bar.

"Green?"

"I hate you."

"That's not what I asked."

"Green, and I still hate you."

"You can hate me while I'm making you come," he replied as he cuffed her and raised her hands above her head, attaching them to the convenient chain installed above the foot of their bed.

Anthony had initially planned on having her kneel in the middle of the bed, then decided he didn't want to deal with her glaring at him for accidentally getting a drop of syrup on the sheets.

The things he did for her.  It could only be love.

"I don't want the spreader bar."

"Your complaint has been duly noted and ignored."

"Anthony, I can keep my legs spread."

"I'm glad to hear it," he adjusted the bar to the desired width and moved her legs.

She sighed as though this was the most onerous task in the world.

Lastly, because he did love her and did not want to die post coitus, he braided her hair and secured it in a bun.

"Color?" he asked, chocolate syrup in hand.

"Green."

"Good."

"You had better not use the syrup as lube, Anthony."

"It was one time."

"You didn't have to deal with a UTI!"

"I had to deal with you, which was just as bad, if not worse."

He looked at her, concerned.

"Darling, we don't have to try food kink."

"Anthony, if you don't start making good on your promises to lick chocolate off my nipples, I'm going to scream."

"Oh, been thinking about that, have we?"

"Patron Saint of Sexual Frustration."

"Patron Saint of Sexual Revelation.  Color?"

Her expression softened.

"Green.  Truly, Anthony, green."

"I'll have to punish you for being a brat."

"Only if you win tonight."

"Kate, I always play to win."

"Then you better make it good."

Anthony was fairly certain they would not engage in food kink often, given the actual fussiness it brought out in Kate.  Nevertheless, he was determined to make it good because he was going to Win At Sex tonight.

-later-

"I'm sticky."

"I'm thirsty.  The syrup was too sweet."

"I don't think you were meant to drizzle it all over me."

Anthony nodded, then made a face.

"We're not doing that again," she said, crossing it off their list.

"We might like other types of food play."

"Yes, Anthony, truly, I'm so very excited by the thought of fucking you with a carrot while I have a cucumber dildo up my ass, then after we've both come, I'll finish it all by pouring balsamic vinaigrette on your abs and feed us tidbits of our anal salad."

"Anal salad?!?!  How do you even think of these things?!"

"Admit defeat."

"Yes!  I could have gone my entire life without the image you provided."

"Be thankful I didn't add lettuce somewhere in there.  You'd never be able to look at a salad again."

"What would– no don't answer that.  I don't need to know."

[thefallennightmare]

Guilt-One

Pairings: Andy Barber x Reader

Warnings: fluff, mostly angst, swearing, and some implied smut here and there.

Summary: When a murder hits the small-town reader lives in and personally attacks the family she works for, she would never image the toll that it would take on her as well. But not for the reason people would think. The last thing Reader thought she would find herself in during the murder trial was falling in love with her boss, Andy Barber and him returning those feelings.

Authors Note: Here we go! This will take place during Defending Jacob. This first chapter is kind of a filler one, getting to know reader and what not. Nothing too exciting happens. If anyone would like to be tag, let me know!

The semi loud music bounced around the bar, laughter rising just an octave above, as I sat at a table surrounded by friends. There was a joke that had been told moments before, one that I hadn’t paid any attention to but still laughed along. The alcohol was warm but cool as it traveled down my throat, the taste clinging to my tongue.

Saturday night in Newton, Massachusetts was a lively time, especially at the bar I was currently in. It was an older bar, nothing compared to the new ones that had opened the last few years, but that didn’t bother me or my group of friends. We had a pact that every Saturday we would meet for drinks to discuss the hell of a work week we had endured. I, however, never had a hell of a time at work, which is what we had all been joking about.

“I’m telling you, Y/N, the only reason why you don’t hate your job is because you work for one of the most famous families in Newton,” My friend had said.

I scoffed. “They’re not famous, Jess. He’s a lawyer and Laurie works at a children's center,” I defended.

It was my friend's turn to scoff. “He’s not some lawyer. Andy Barber is an assistant district attorney. That's like the big guns.”

“As I mentioned, they’re not famous,” I smiled, taking another drink of my beer.

My other friend, Emily, merely shook her head at me. “They treat you like you’re the second kid, Y/N. You can work whenever you want, and you get paid a lot.”

The alcohol had its grip deep into my friends and I couldn’t help but laugh at them. “You two are acting like I sit on my ass every day. I’m their housekeeper and sometimes watch their teenage son; it’s nothing glamorous.”

I had been the Barber’s housekeeper for the last six months. Laurie had found my resume online and after meeting her once, she hired me on the spot; anyone that could help her with the housework and keeping an eye on her son. He was a teenager, but Laurie still wanted to make sure he was behaving as he was raised too. It had been, as my friends said, pretty easy, but it wasn’t the work that bothered me or made it tough; it was the massive crush I had on my boss.

Andy Barber, Laurie’s husband.

I knew deep down that it was a ridiculous crush. Andy was a very attractive man and charming, but he was married. I was the last thought on his mind. Compared to his wife, Laurie, I was lower on the attractive scale.

My friends would completely disagree, however.

“Em, I wouldn’t compare Y/N to their child, since she’s in love with Andy,” Jess said with a wink.

I hushed her, afraid that someone was listening. “I don’t love him! Oh God, it’s like we’re back in high school with the way we’re talking.”

We all shared a laugh and settled into a different conversation for a while. But that said conversation seized when my eyes landed on the new figure that had walked into the bar, my stool facing the doorway. The butterflies low in my stomach fluttered to life while my heart hammered into my chest. My friends followed my gaze and soon a grin spread to their faces.

“Well, speak of the devil and he’ll show his face.”

My eyes sliced into them, hoping they would get the silent message to not do what I knew they were going to do.

“I’ll get the next round! Y/N, did you want anything?” Jess asked, a little too loudly on purpose.

“You bitch,” I breathed.

Looking back at the man in the doorway, our gazes met, and my hands began to shake under the table. His intense gaze was enough to lock me into my seat and when a small smile played at his lips, all of my breath was sucked out.

Andy took a few large strides towards our table, and I gave myself a quiet pep talk, hoping it would calm my nerves. I had only been around Andy a handful of times, his work schedule keeping him in his office the majority of the day. We would only see each other in the morning when I arrived, and he was leaving and vice versa at the end of the day. We also had a few conversations here and there, making small talk, so we didn’t know anything about each other.

So why was I head over heels for him?

Have you seen that face?

“Fancy seeing you here,” Andy smirked as he approached the table.

“I could say the same to you.”

Thankfully all the nerves were non apparent in my voice.

“I’ve been coming to Ed’s for years. This is the first time in a few months that I’ve actually been able to get a drink,” He informed me.

“Is Laurie meeting you here?” I asked, trying not to let the jealousy show.

Andy shook his head. “I’m meeting a few guys from the office.”

I nodded while Emily had coughed, clearly wanting me to introduce them to Andy. With a few names and smiles, the two of them chatted with him while I marveled at his soft features. His blue eyes shone bright under the low light of the bar and the few strands of gray in his beard complemented his olive skin tone.

Guilt suddenly filled me when my eyes landed on the ring on his left hand. Andy was married and here I was, practically drooling over him.

“Hey, everything alright?”

Looking into Andy’s eyes, I nodded. “Yeah. I got lost in my thoughts.”

“I’m sure you did,” Jess spoke.

With a swift kick to her shin under the table, I gave Andy my attention once again. “I won’t keep you from your friends. See you on Monday?”

He nodded. “I’m going into the office late that morning, so I’ll be home in the morning with you.”

Biting the inside of my lip at the thought of the two of us alone, I nodded. “See you then.”

The way Andy smiled at me turned me into a pile of mush and with one more goodbye, I was alone with Emily and Jess once more.

“You’ve got it bad, Y/N,” Emily noted.

I groaned; eyes trained hard on Andy's backside. “I know.”

[newt-and-salamander]

I posted 302 times in 2022

That's 141 more posts than 2021!

66 posts created (22%)

236 posts reblogged (78%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@scamanderishredmayniac

@occamyeggshells

@eddieredmayneargentinablog

@love-arrogance-naivety

@elisha-am

I tagged 293 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#fantastic beasts - 201 posts

#newt scamander - 155 posts

#fbsod - 116 posts

#eddie redmayne - 66 posts

#theseus scamander - 52 posts

#tina goldstein - 43 posts

#newtina - 31 posts

#fbcog - 30 posts

#fbawtft - 30 posts

#fanart - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#but they need to give a lot of answers and being most plot lines to an preliminary ending so they can stop after this film if they need to

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Headcanon:

When his brother was born, it was Theseus who decided that “Newton” was too toplofty a name for such a shy, quiet child. He started calling him “Newt” and somehow this nickname stuck with him when they grew older and Newton didn’t shed this certain awkwardness he had already possessed as a child.

Some things changed, though. It has been a long time since Newt referred to his brother as “Thes”.

127 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

#4

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Newt and Tina travelling together

132 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

#3

Theseus: I'm so worried about Newt.

Tina: Why? Everything is fine!

Theseus: But he might be up to something stupid!

Jacob: ... oh, there you are! Hey, what's wrong? You two look devastated.

Tina: ... we are very worried about Newt.

134 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

#2

Newt, after his return from WW1, talking to his mother: ... and Sylvia has the most beautiful eyes, you should see them, they are sparkeling like diamonds! And she's such a nice girl, actually the friendliest of all of them, and I think she was always happy to see me ...

Theseus, who has overheard that, smirking: Sounds like you should ask her out for dinner, Newt.

Newt: I don't think that would be a great idea.

Theseus: C'mon, don't be shy, you obviously like her a lot and it's time you get yourself a girlfriend!

Newt: ... Sylvia is literally a Ukranian Ironbelly.

Theseus: Please forget everything I just said. Don't take her out for dinner.

Newt: You know, the longer I think about it, the more I like the idea ...

Theseus: The more I think about it, the more I hate it, actually.

Newt: Well, that has never stopped me.

Theseus: Newt, NO. Besides everything else, you are going to lose your job.

Newt: ... this idea is getting better and better. Do you think -

Theseus: NO!!

Newt: ... do you think there's enough room for a small dragon in the Ministry's cafeteria? - Hey, where are you going?

Theseus: Calling a lawyer. And a healer.

Newt: I don't think somebody will get hurt.

Theseus: A mind healer.

190 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Just watched SoD, it's almost 4 am and I am happy and overwhelmed. Here are just some first impressions in the order that come to my mind, so massive spoilers below the cut!!

Newt is the sweetest and kindest human being this world has ever known.

Jacob too!

I seriously thought for a few seconds Jacob would become Supreme Mugwump. XD (It would have been really epic though.)

Basically everything Jacob said was hilarious, I just love him so much!!!

Mads Mikkelsen just was so so so so so good! Of course Grindelwald had much more screen time than in the previous films so it was easier, but still he managed to bring a depth and some kind of ... likeability to Grindelwald's character. I liked that very much.

I also appreciate how clear they made that Dumbledore was in love with Grindelwald (Although this can't be called a secret, really. :D)

Albus had no secrets left, it was really about Aberforth?!?! Whew, I mean, I thought it could be coming, but still ...

Also: What's wrong with the Dumbledores? Ariana is an Obscurus, Aberforth's son is an Obscurus ... And how did both brothers manage to make such grave mistakes in only one summer?

I don't feel like after everything that happened in SoD, Aberforth has the right to still be so angry and cold against Albus (as shown in HP).

Newt was really lucky he wasn't killed in his first scene. :0

In general I was surprised by the really lighthearted tone of the film - even in the more dramatic scenes I was never really afraid someone would die.

THIS FILM HAD WIZARDS ON ROOFTOPS, I AM HAPPY.

Newt was so happy and excited so many times, so I am very happy and excited now!!! How cute was it when he met Lally and they were basically both fangirling about each other???

Newt saying "She is" when talking about Tina, omg!!! And them finally meeting again!!! (Damn Lally, bad timing!!!!)

I'm not really content with the explanation they gave for Tina's absence, though. I mean, Theseus is head auror too, and he seems to be able to go and do where/what he wishes.

Can we talk about the wide grin on Theseus face when he witnessed just how much in love Newt was in the end?? Maybe that's even my favourite moment! Him just being so happy for Newt and looking out for him and EVERYONE BEING HAPPY FOR A CHANGE!!!

Ok, maybe my favourite scene was Jacob being happy and closing his eyes so he won't see Queenie before the wedding ceremony and he's GETTING MARRIED TO QUEENIE AAAAHHHHH!!! I must say I had lost hope for the two of them!

Will Newt and Tina kiss offscreen now?!?!?

Dumbledore, whyyyy didn't you go into the bakery? Isn't it actually a bit impolite to just wait around in the street and walk away??

Newt practising his speech as best man *-* I love it how clumsy he was during every situation he was in a kind of leading position.

How did Aberforth and Credence establish the mirror connection???

I'm a bit confused and so, so tired.

How did Aberforth even find out Credence was his son??

Maybe Credence doesn't have to die. We know that Newt can separate an Obscurus from its host, so maybe he can save him?

Wtf they did break the blood pact by ACCIDENT???? NOOOO, I'm not happy with that!!! That's to ... easy and random.

Just for the record, snow is not the usual weather in Berlin (but then there always seems to be snow everywhere in the FB films XD). I rather liked wizarding Germany btw. The architecture and the little details like the signs and the stamps (a cliché that always works because it's funny and also still true I'm afraid).

The scene with Theseus and Newt in prison was a bit random but super funny, so I'll allow it. XD But I'm still disturbed that they just stunned Theseus and dragged him away and everyone was like ... it's alright, we can look for him later. (It's also not very healthy to hang upside down, but Thesues can manage it ... because. Because he's epic and very handsome and I like him very much.)

The brothers finally, finally bonding!!! Not talking, though. But who needs to talk anyway.

Bunty was great! I'm happy that she was not helpless in her love. She's still in love with Newt and he has no clue and she knows it's in vain, but she's not jealous or bitter but makes a deliberate decision to help. She definitely deserves more credit.

See the full post

271 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[scarlettjohanssons-mistress]

The science behind love 1

The physics project

Warnings: Alternate universe - modern setting, alternate universe - college/university, internalized homophobia, ballet, physical student, slow burn, fluff,

Word count: 1.0 K

Pairing: Daisy Fuller x Fem!Reader

Prompt: Reader decides to investigate the physics behind the movements of a ballet dancer, Reader meets Daisy and asks her to be her subject of study, Daisy agrees for the money, but, maybe, a nice friendship or something else will be born

Requests: OPEN

[Main masterlist] [Cate Blanchett other characters]

'Do you already know what your physics final paper is going to be about?' 

Before my friend's message, I hadn't even thought about work; I even thought of doing simple but accurate experiments 

"Come on honey, eat some" I dropped the cell phone and exhaled dramatically "what's wrong? Why are you doing that?" 

“The physics teacher gave us a final project, where we have to put together something that we are passionate about with physics; But mom, my only interest is reading, and for that, I don't need any physics in my life." 

“So what are you going to make it out of?” I took a big bite out of her food 

"I thought about making it about Newton or something, simple and lying about my interests" 

“Or you could pay a nice tribute to your mother and try to explain the science behind the ballet” 

Ballet had always been a topic of conversation with my mother. Ava Y/L/N a great dancer, who could never perform in a famous theater for breaking her leg, leaving her dream unfinished, which she tried to project onto her little daughter Y/N, not knowing that the little girl who would HATE anything related to physical activation… but, seeing how difficult my teacher gave me, I wouldn't have much of a choice.

"And who am I supposed to study? You can't do the same moves anymore"

"I know, that's why I'll take you to what used to be my school" she patted me lightly "so eat fast, so you can get to class"

——————————————————————————— 

My mom spent about 10 minutes begging me to come with me to the practice room, but I literally begged her to let me do it by myself, so she just dropped me off at the academy and went home. 

Take a deep breath and enter the place, the receptionist told me that the class had already started, but if I wanted to start taking classes and see this class, I could do it, so she let me in 

"Anna, that foot has to go higher" the teacher yelled. She saw me in the reflection of the room and told me to sit in a chair at the back of the room, so that's what I did "right, from the beginning" 

“1, 2, 3, Arabesque, 1, 2, 3, Grand battement and we return…”

Despite my constant mental complaints, the class ended faster than I imagined; the teacher had asked the guys for a little break before leaving, to come talk to me

"Well, how did you like the class? Are you interested?"

“Oh, I'm sorry to burst your bubble of hope, but I'm really not interested in entering the academy. You see, I'm a student at the state university, and I'm trying to study and do a report on the physics behind dance, more specifically ballet."

"I understand… well, I'm glad to tell you that you came to the right place, I know someone who will be fully qualified to help you"

The woman made me approach a man, muscular and very handsome, the teacher explained my situation to him and the boy gave me a very tender smile.

“Oh honey, I would love to help you, it will not give me the time necessary to help you”

"Don't tell me that, I really need this favor, I'm going to pay you a good amount…" I started to whimper

"I understand, but I'm really sorry"

"Excuse me" a hand took my shoulder, making me turn, to find a pretty redhead, who was adjusting her leotard, uncomfortable "I heard your problem, if you need someone, I have time to do it"

I breathed again, seeing how my plan was still standing 

"That sounds incredible. Thank you” I think the woman realized that I calmed down since she giggled 

"I'm Daisy Fuller." She reached out her hand to shake mine. 

"I'm Y/N Y/L/N" 

I kept quiet trying to analyze it; a woman with beautiful long red hair, wonderful blue-green eyes, a beautiful smile and perfect white teeth, I guess she must be about my age, but I had never seen her in college 

“So, are you going to tell me how to contact us or are you going to stay like this?” the woman let out an adorable laugh 

"Sorry. If you want, I'll give you my phone number and we'll keep in touch there." 

"Perfect" she wrote down the number on her cell phone "I send you a message" 

"Sure" I watched as she started to gather her things "See you later, Daisy" 

“See you soon, Y/N” 

We both started walking alone to the exit, until we collided and realized that we went to the same place, laughing we apologized again, but, just as I was going to ask her next destination, a blond man yelled her name, getting the woman's attention, then, Daisy quickly walked away from me, so I just waited for a bus to take me home.

——————————————————————————— 

"Ballet? And where do you fit into this equation?" my friend Grace scoffed as we ate breakfast off campus 

“I know, ballet has nothing to do with me, but I had no other choice; Actually, I was going to talk about something else, but my mother gave me the idea." 

"And who are you supposed to study? Your mom can't do certain stunts anymore and you don't know anyone who even works out." 

“That's where you're wrong, my friend. Just yesterday, I met a cute dancer who is going to help me." 

“Did you go around town hunting dancers?” 

"No, I went to my mother's old academy, and a pretty girl took pity on my soul and wanted to help me" 

“'Nice girl', apparently you already had a crush” my friend mocked. 

I was ready to finish off his comment, when I saw how the screen of my cell phone turned on thanks to a new message. I took the device and check the cell phone

0491 570 158 

Hello, I wanted to know if we are going to start work today, I am free at 3:00 PM, in case you want to start 

PS: I'm Daisy :)

I saved the contact and reply

Today at 3:00 PM, sounds perfect, see you outside the Chaplin theater 

Note:

I just came to say that I wanted to make an FF of Daisy because he was the first character I fell in love with, at a tender age of 7 years. Cate Blanchett made me a lesbian, long before I knew I was a lesbian or who Ctae Blanchett was 😂

I hope you enjoy this.

I appreciate the reblogs, the likes and the comments 💕

[hermannsthumb]

I have a fun prompt I've been thinking about I hope you have time for one day! When Newt and Hermann meet actually things go really really well and they even get together. It's just they bicker so much and have huge science-based arguments that everyone assumed they must have hated each other on sight.

sure thing! i had fun with this one

----

"So," Newt says. "I was talking to Tendo today."

Across the mess table, Hermann hums in feigned interest. Newt knows it's feigned 'cause Hermann doesn't stop either thing he's doing: using his left hand to wind noodles around a fork, and using his right hand to scribble away a series of lengthy equations on the back of a paper napkin. His full attention has been hopping between both for about ten minutes now—no room for Newt to slip in there. He's testing his limits enough as it. Half of the last equation ended up scratched into the tabletop, and the last time he lifted his fork to his mouth, it was empty. And then he swallowed anyway. Newt kinda loves the guy.

"Yeah," Newt says, deciding to continue like Hermann responded the way he was actually supposed to respond, which would've been something along the lines of what an utterly fascinating story, Newton, do tell me more. I love hearing you talk, Newton. How marvelously smart you are, Newton, and how melodic and breathtaking your voice is. Now watch me bite down on an empty fork again. "Kinda funny. He was asking how we met."

Hermann finally looks up at Newt suspiciously over the rims of his glasses, which are slipping slowly down his nose. He stills them with the tip of his index finger before they land in his dinner. "Why?"

"I don't know, man," Newt says. "He just was. It was like, small talk, you wouldn't get it. He dropped by the lab when you were out this morning to let me know that there was extra space if we wanted it. Like, lab space." Hermann resumes scratching an equation into the table absently. Newt rolls his eyes. "As in, we could have separate labs if we wanted now."

Hermann knits his eyebrows together. "Separate laboratories?"

When Newt and Hermann first started at the Hong Kong Shatterdome, the k-scientist team was pre-existing and significantly bigger, and anyone who joined on later—like, you know, them—basically got shoved in wherever they fit. For Newt and Hermann, that happened to be Laboratory Space D, Basement Level 1 (the only basement level), along with a former marine biologist who was killed on a research excursion a month later when a kaiju made unexpected landfall, like, right on top of their chosen shelter. Bad luck. Anyway, Newt's known about the existence of other Hong Kong Shatterdome lab spaces in the vague and absent sort of way that you would an urban legend, but (similarly so) he never thought he and Hermann would actually ever lay eyes on one. And then Tendo stopped by to dangle it in front of Newt on a stick.

"The other labs were being used as storage for ages after everyone else—" Newt searches for a word tasteful enough to encapsulate got stomped by a kaiju and wised up and decided to live out what are probably our last few days before the world ends with their families instead of alone in a military bunker. "—left. Anyway, Tendo told me they've been going through shit like crazy this month, I think to see if they can salvage any old tech, and that the other labs are basically totally emptied out now. We just have to ask and they're ours."

Hermann sets down both his pen and fork, twisting his mouth contemplatively. He finally loses the battle against gravity with his glasses, and they miss his plate by an inch, swinging back on their chain and bouncing harmlessly against his chest instead. Newt briefly wonders if getting a chain for his own glasses would save them from their frequent fatal falls into kaiju organ cavities and buckets of non-neutralized kaiju blood, but decides not even the money he'd save on replacement pairs would make a fashion faux pas like that worth it. "You know I don't much fancy the basement," Hermann says.

"Your joints," Newt agrees. The damp of the basement sets Hermann's joint pain off frequently, something Hermann talks about just as frequently. Newt's not really a fan of the basement either, though for different reasons—he would kill to get some windows and natural, non-fluorescent light in there. Sun lamps can only do so much. He's pretty sure he'd fucking glow if he stepped outside right now. Also, it's cold down here.

"And it might be nice to be closer to LOCCENT, in case of an emergency," Hermann continues. "And closer to—oh, hang on. What has this got to do with us?"

"Huh?"

"How we met," Hermann says. "You said, that Tendo asked—"

"Oh," Newt says. It's his turn to play coy. He stirs his chopsticks through his own dinner, accidentally flicking a piece of tofu to the table. It lands on top of Hermann's etched equations. Hermann scowls, because that's how their routine goes: Newt gets Hermann's stuff dirty, and Hermann gets mad. "Well. It was just that Tendo was like you can finally be out of each other's hair, how the hell did you guys get stuck together anyway when you obviously can't stand each other, that kind of stuff."

"Ah," Hermann says.

"And I said that it was because we knew each other before," Newt says, "and that we transferred here together. And that's when he asked."

"And what did you say?" Hermann says.

"That we used to correspond professionally," Newt says, "and met at a conference way back in 2017." He adds, with a grin, "Also professionally."

This was technically true. Newt and Hermann did write to each other, professionally, and they did meet at a conference, professionally, but what went down after a long and public shouting match in the events hall of a very nice hotel—in Hermann's room, five floors up in that very nice hotel—was not very professional. The events of the week that followed—spent, intermittently, between Hermann's hotel room, several coffee shops, a bench under a tree in Newt's favorite park, a rotation sushi restaurant, brushing knees shyly on the tram, and, finally, clasping hands on the staircase of Newt's apartment and gazing deeply into each other's eyes—weren't very professional, either, but Newt likes to think that they were very romantic. Rom-com level shit. Newt revealed none of this to Tendo, who referred to the 2017 conference as that Infamous Day for the rest of their conversation. "Well, it was professional," Hermann sniffs.

But he reaches across the table, and, very timidly, crosses his pinkie over top of Newt's. It's the most blatant form of PDA Hermann ever willingly engages Newt in. Newt thinks if he ever tried to touch two fingers at once in anywhere but the lab, or God forbid, hold his whole hand, Hermann's ears might start emitting steam like something out of a cartoon. "It might be nice," he says again.

Laboratory Space D, Basement Level 1, is unique—Newt knows—in that Newt and Hermann's quarters are connected to it directly. None of the other labs have that luxury (and Newt has a feeling it's because Lab Space D wasn't actually intended as a lab space). He remembers being told that when they were shoved into it. Yeah, you have the darkest and tiniest lab space on base, but your rooms are right there! When Newt wants to go to Hermann's room, or if he's in Hermann's room and needs a sweatshirt or something from his own, he just has to step the three feet between their two doors. Moving labs could throw a wrench in that—they might be asked to move quarters, too, and might be shuttled to opposite sides of the Shatterdome, and though they could just bite the bullet and request couple's quarters already, it's nice to have their own spaces when they need it. That would never work. And, well, besides—the lab, their lab, feels like home to them at this point. Newt shrugs.

"On the other hand," Hermann says, and he taps Newt's pinkie lightly, "I quite like how things are. I can live with the damp, really."

"We can get a dehumidifier," Newt offers.

Hermann nods, and he gives Newt the barest hint of a smile.

Their monthly delivery of lab supplies—whatever they can afford with their shoestring budget, which, these days, mostly means chalk, rubber gloves, and nice instant ramen—comes three weeks later. Newt wouldn't exactly call the Shatterdome delivery guy a friend, seeing as he has yet to divulge his name to Newt (and also Newt's pretty sure he has a thing for Hermann, since he always seems to wait until Hermann is in the lab to stroll by with his package trolley and always calls him Dr. Gottlieb with big stupid heart eyes, oh, Dr. Gottlieb, that new sweater looks soooo nice on you!, so anyway, that makes him Newt's rival by default), but he, at least, recognizes and acknowledges Newt at this point. That's more than Newt can say for most people on the base. After his usual greeting to the two of them (hey, Newt, oh, hellllooo, Dr. Gottlieb, did you do something new with your hair?), he starts to unload their packages, also like usual.

"I was surprised to see that you guys are still down here," he tells Newt, not like usual. "Tendo mentioned something about you getting your own labs."

"He did?" Newt says, meaning to frown, but grinning instead. It's kind of fun to be the subject of gossip. He pulls off his gloves and tosses them in the trash to help with their supplies—the dehumidifier he requested should be in there, and it's fancy and definitely on the bigger side.

"Yeah," their delivery guy continues. He hands Newt a fuckin' massive brick of a package. Hermann's stupid chalk. The amount that Hermann tears through in a month really is astounding: Newt has a private theory that Hermann is an undercover space alien from a planet where chalk constitutes all of the primary food groups, and he secretly sneaks out here and eats it in the dead of night when Newt is asleep. "Anyway, sorry I'm late," the delivery guy says, as Newt imagines Hermann crunching on a piece of chalk like a carrot stick, "I went to all the other labs first."

"No worries, dude," Newt says. "Sorry for the confusion."

He lugs the package over to Hermann's desk, and drops it down on the only spot not over-cluttered with papers and books. Hermann complains about Newt's messiness a lot for a guy who is just as bad, if not worse. "Need any now?" Newt asks Hermann.

Hermann, scribbling away at his chalkboard, grunts. Newt decides that's a no.

"Hard at work, Dr. Gottlieb?" the delivery guy says, practically fluttering his eyelashes.

Another grunt. Newt snorts.

"I thought you guys would've moved right away," the delivery guy (obviously disappointed at Hermann's lack of attention) tells Newt. "Tendo mentioned you've been stuck together for a while, ever since some sort of dramatic confrontation at a conference ten years ago." he adds eagerly, "Did you really get thrown out? I don't know how you haven't killed each other yet."

"It's taken a lot of hard work," Newt says. Yeah, the whole being-ejected-from-the-conference-and-barred-from-all-future-ones-forever thing is technically true too, but everyone there was too stuffy and serious for Newt's fun vibes anyway, so he thinks it's their loss. The most important part of the scientific breakthrough process, Newt frequently thinks, was having someone there to challenge you and push back at you. Sometimes loudly. And in public. In the conference hall of a very expensive hotel, in front of all of your scientific peers, some hotel security guards, and a poor graduate student who made the mistake of asking you and your penpal-colleague for your joint opinion on something and got caught in the crosshairs. Besides—out of everyone at that stupid conference, Newt and Hermann were the only ones snapped up by the PPDC, so it's doubly their loss. "And, yeah, we got thrown out. Me and Hermann fight a lot, but we always make up eventually. It's no big deal. It's, like, our thing."

"Make up?"

Newt waggles his eyebrows and doesn't elaborate. The making up part is the best part of arguing with Hermann, honestly, but he's not about to go giving private details about stuff like that to his rival.

By the time Hermann finally descends his ladder, three hours have passed, and Newt is frowning over an email he's just gotten from Shatterdome HR. Hermann will probably see it in a second when he checks his own email—it was sent to both of them, after all—but Newt waves him over to his desk anyway. "Look," he says.

He draws out the spare chair he keeps by his desk (for Hermann), and Hermann drops into it gratefully, propping his cane up against the arm. Then Hermann pushes his glasses up onto his nose and scans the email with a frown of his own. Newt reads it aloud for him anyway. "'Subject: Quarters Reassignment,'" he says. "Dear Drs. Geiszler and Gottlieb: It has recently come to our attention that you will be transferring to Laboratories A&B. Should you wish to transfer quarters as well, you will find the necessary paperwork..."

"By Jove," Hermann groans, and pulls his glasses off again, smudging a bit of chalk on his cheek, "can't they just leave us alone?"

Newt laughs. "I'll tell them we're not interested. Wait, listen to this bit at the end: Congratulations—this must be a relief! Guess they were getting your complaint forms after all, Hermann." Both Newt and Hermann had long-since assumed that any and all official complaint forms stamped with a k-sci lab return address are filed right into the garbage. It's never deterred Hermann from sending them in, though.

"Hmph," Hermann says.

Newt carefully rolls his shirtcuff back down to his wrist and uses it to rub off Hermann's chalk smudge. When it's gone, or at least, mostly gone, he brushes his fingers back through Hermann's short hair. Hermann's eyelids flutter shut, and as he leans into Newt's touch, his creased forehead smooths just a little. "Mm. You're lovely," he murmurs. "We really ought to tell them we're married. It's gone on long enough."

"I guess," Newt says. "But it's kind of funny, isn't it?"

[newtonsheffield]

Can we get an In Bloom Kanthony’s first Christmas? I feel like Kate’s stocking stuffer would basically be Anthony’s dick inside Kate’s missing stocking inside his pants. Like a turducken of lust 😂

Okay but imagine how funny this would be.

Anthony the whole time standing there like “This is ridiculous, she’s going to hate me. Oh my god, I should just get changed before she- fuck!”

“Well, this is fucking stupid.” Anthony sighed to himself, standing in his girlfriend’s ensuite, shirtless, wearing a Santa hat and white fur trimmed boxers.

He wasn’t really sure, why he’d decided this would be so funny, he’d seen the boxers hanging in the store and he hadn’t been able to resist. Kate had made it very obvious, over the last nine months, that she found him physically very appealing, even if he had no bloody idea why.

And now here he was, ready to throw himself at his girlfriend, in the bed they shared now, as they started properly intertwining their lives together. Anthony tried to avoid Newton’s judgement as he slipped back into the room, anxiety churning his stomach as he posed on the bed beside her, his hands behind his head as he slept.

Oh Christ. These were the actions of a complete pervert. He was deranged, absolutely deranged, ruining Christmas. He should just get get changed before she woke up and she’d never have to know.

Anthony scrambled off the bed, hurriedly making his way back to the bathroom only to be stopped by-

“Well. Ho ho ho.”

Kate’s voice was sleepy, one eyes open, a slow grin spreading across her face and Anthony’s stomach churned.

“Hey-Hi! Merry Christmas.”

Kate sat up, her eyebrows rising, “Merry Christmas to me indeed.”

Anthony shifted as her eyes raked over him, something in her hungry gaze emboldening him, his shoulders squaring a smirk rising to his lips. “Want to unwrap you gift?”

“Very much, get over here.” Her fingers twisting in his boxers tugging him closer, until he was forced to straddle her, her fingers tugging and tugging his boxers down her eyes darkening and darkening, their lips meeting again and again, and then Kate froze. Her eyes drifting downwards, laughter bursting from her chest, heat settling in Anthony’s cheeks.

“You put a bow on your dick!” She was practically wheezing as Anthony huffed, standing from the bed, her hands catching him before he could even take a step. “I really love you.”

She sounded so happy, so perfectly content, and just for a moment, Anthony didn’t feel stupid.

“Want your present?”

“You bet.”

And she certainly wasn’t laughing anymore.

[missymurphy1985]

The Rebel (Cillian X OC OneShot)

Warning - smut - and this IS only a one shot, I can't cope writing another series at the minute 😂

Request? Yep!

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @darlingjaye

"The fuck does she get off?" Cillian cried, throwing his bag across the trailer he shared with Paul Anderson.

"Someone's a fan of my new love interest!" Paul laughed watching Cillian fume as he paced the small trailer over and over again.

"I knew casting her was a mistake, she's fucking delusional!!!"

"What's she done now..."

"Literally THREW her coffee cup at her PA because she put milk in it... THREW IT!!! At her PA!!! Poor girl was fucking terrified man!"

"She's hot though, ain't she?'

"What? Fuck sake Paul you ever NOT think with your dick?" Paul smirked, raising his eyebrows at Cillian knowingly. "Yes okay, she's a good looking girl, but that doesn't mean she can get away with trampling over people to get her own way does it?"

"Maybe she just needs a good, solid man to ground her a little, bring her back to earth a bit?" Paul smirked.

"Go for it man, good luck to you. Last fella she had probably still needs therapy."

"Oh I wasn't talking about me mate." Cillian looked at him suspiciously.

"What?"

"Oh for fucks sake Cillian, when was your last eye test? Can you not see what's clear as daylight, right in front of you??" Cillian's eyes widened, not understanding a word coming out of Paul's mouth.

"You've lost me."

"Wonder if she's part Irish. Or wants to be...." Cillian's face contorted.

"Don't use that line it's fucking cheesy... Never works either. What's your point?"

"Mate if you don't get in there quick, she's gonna lose interest and Finn will be at it like a shot!"

"You're having a laugh aren't you? I'm not even remotely interested!"

"Uh huh. Okay. Just don't say I didn't warn you eh?" Paul put his baseball cap on and headed out the door, still with a smirk on his face. Cillian took a seat on the sofa and ran his fingers through what was left of his hair, rolling his eyes. Yes, Natalie was fucking hot... But my god was she challenging.

Throwing that cup today was one thing. Telling the director she didn't like her character was another. Her original character was supposed to be Tommy's new 'plaything' behind Lizzie's back, but Natalie had apparently requested a change of direction - she wanted to be Arthur's new love interest, nothing to do with Tommy at all. That confused Cillian, and he'd had to think back to see if he'd ever worked with her in the past, obviously he'd pissed her off at some stage, why else would being his onscreen love interest be so repulsive to her that she demanded an entire script change?

Heading into the bathroom, he glanced at himself in the mirror. He wasn't exactly repulsive, surely? Yes he had a few more wrinkles now that he did in series one, but he was nearly 45 now...

He shook his head quickly - why did it even bother him whether she found him attractive or not?? She was 32, not that much younger than him but still way out of his league, and to top it off she was a fucking nightmare!

But those legs... Her eyes... Her lips... He couldn't help himself imagining those lips wrapped around his cock when he lay in bed in his Manchester apartment alone at night... Without thinking he found himself palming the growing erection under his jeans, feeling that familiar stirring in his groin. Shaking his head quickly, he splashed his face with cold water and rearranged himself in his jeans, calming himself down before he embarrassed himself. Once his erection had gone down, he headed back out of the trailer and over to his hire car, the driver ready and waiting to take him back to the apartment block.

Natalie opened her apartment door and crashed onto the sofa, exhausted. A full week of intense filming, she was more than ready for a soak in the bath and a glass of Shiraz. Opening the cupboard in the kitchen area she groaned - no wine. She also remembered the bubble bath she'd bought, and subsequently left in her trailer back on set...

She fished around in her bag for her room key again, and bit her lip. She knew exactly who would have a bottle of bubble bath... She groaned to herself, having successfully avoided him up until now but her aching limbs were crying out for some Radox. She left her apartment and knocked on the door across the hall.

Cillian answered a few minutes later with just a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair wet.

"Erm... Hey?" He asked, not opening the door fully, more hiding himself behind it.

"Okay um, this is random I know, but I was just wondering if maybe you had any bubble bath going spare? Please?"

"Really?" He laughed.

"Is it so surprising to you that a girl likes a bath now and again?"

"No actually, what's surprising is that you actually have manners."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You said 'please'. Didn't think you had it in you."

"Listen, you either have bubble bath spare, or you don't, it's a simple fucking question Cillian."

"Those tactics won't work with me love." Cillian

"Forget it, for fucks sake..." She turned to leave, rolling her eyes.

"Wait.. yes I have spare. Come in, I'll grab it for you." He pushed the door open so Natalie could walk inside, before heading into the bathroom. Coming back out with his jeans on, she couldn't help but be drawn to his toned chest and biceps, his upper body still damp from his own bath moments before she'd disturbed him.

Cillian caught her checking him out and smirked a little, handing over the bottle of Radox. She took it, smiling a touch herself.

"You smile too." She lowered her eyes and tried to hide the grin on her face. "You're not as hard faced as you try and make out, are you?" His arms were folded across his chest now, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Her eyes suddenly watered, and she bit her lip. Cillian frowned watching her well up and instinctively moved closer, taking her shoulders into his hands.

"Hey now... I didn't mean to upset you..."

"No... No I deserved it. God I'm so sick of this!"

"Sick of what?"

"I have this reputation of being a diva... With my career... I just like things to be perfect and when they're not I can lose my temper so quickly and it's fucking horrible and I make people hate me!" She choked back a sob, and Cillian pulled her into his arms, holding her as her shoulders shook.

"We all like things to be perfect Nat, but life doesn't work out like a fairytale, things just go wrong and that's okay?"

"I know, and I always feel so fucking guilty afterwards.. I can't stop now - my reputation is the only thing keeping me in the press, keeping me relevant..."

"You're kidding, right? So all this bitchiness, the demanding ways - it's an act?"

"Some of my best work has been off camera Cill." He couldn't help but laugh. He opened the cupboard and pulled out two small glasses, followed by a bottle of Irish Whiskey. Offering Nat one, she nodded, and they both moved into the lounge area.

They talked for a while - comparing stories of Hollywood, other actors they'd worked with, before Cillian cleared his throat. He needed to know the truth about her changing the script to be Arthur's love interest rather than Tommy's, and now she'd sank a few whiskeys, she was probably loose enough to tell him straight.

She hung her head, embarrassed. She knew he'd probably find out eventually, being one of the producers, but she hoped if she avoided him long enough she'd never need to reveal the truth to him.

"I also turned down Inception. And they offered me Thandie Newton's role in The Retreat."

"Okay..."

"I turned them all down when I found out you were in them."

"Ouch!" He chuckled nervously, "I don't think I want to ask why!"

"Because.. and this is awkward so don't laugh yeah?" He nodded as a promise not to, but his eyes widened when she revealed the truth. "Because I've had a crush on you since I was a teenager... And I didn't wanna make it awkward but I guess I just kinda did.."

Cillian was stunned into silence for a minute, or five. His silence made her nervous, and she pulled herself off the sofa to head out, realising how much of a fool she'd made herself. Making a mental note to blame the whiskey in the morning, she stood up, only to feel his hands suddenly on her waist as he stood up next to her.

"So that's why you didn't want to play Tommy's love interest, huh?" He held her in front of him, his hands squeezing her hips as he pulled her closer.

"Would've been too awkward.. for me at least.." closer still, their faces now inches apart.

"Does this feel awkward?" Their bodies met, her heart pounding in her chest. She could feel how aroused he was, pressed up against her, making her breathing heavier.

"No..." He leaned down, pressing his lips gently against hers, just ghosting over them.

"And this?" He whispered, his hands moving up, not quite over her breasts, just underneath them and round her lower ribs. She couldn't speak, just shook her head. Her breath hitching in her throat as a hand snaked back down, under her leggings and underwear, softly caressing her inner thigh and mound. Cillian glanced at her, her eyes closed and breathing deepening as his fingers traced her core, pushing a finger inside her to feel how much she was throbbing for him.

"Want me to help you with that?" She nodded again, and felt his fingers probe her, moving up slightly to brush against her clit making her hips grind against him and her fingers press into his biceps. His fingers moved slowly, circling the small bud.

"That feels good...." She panted, rocking her hips to ride his fingers, needing more.

He responded by moving his fingers quicker, pushing the small button harder. Her head fell against his chest and she groaned, her orgasm coming quickly.

"Gonna make a mess on my fingers, Nat?" He whispered in her ear, her breath coming in short bursts now. His other hand moved to her hair, pulling the bobble from it and letting it fall down her back, running his fingers through and tugging it to pull her head back. His lips on her neck, biting and sucking at the skin. Her hand resting on his arm, keeping him in place as he fingered her.

"Don't stop... Don't stop... Faster..." She gasped, and he happily complied. Rubbing her clit hard now under her clothing.

"Make a mess on me, cum for me..." She came with a force she'd never felt before, gripping onto his arms and holding his arm steady, riding her hips against his hand as her orgasm began to subside. He gave her a few minutes to catch her breath before pulling his hand away, bringing his fingers to his lips to taste her, groaning at the sweetness and pressing his lips against hers.

Bringing her close again, he backed her up until her calves hit the sofa, before laying her against the cushions and pulling her leggings down, her underwear with them. She spread her legs, biting her lip as his mouth kissed up her thighs.

"You want me to fuck you, Nat?" He lifted her t shirt over her head, her body completely bare now as she nodded.

Her fingers pulled at his jeans, and he unfastened them, easing his erection out before allowing them to fall to the floor, kicking them across the room. Natalie pushed him onto the sofa, sitting up against the cushions before straddling him, his hard cock now pressed against her soaked core.

"I'm gonna fuck you, that okay?" She smiled, her forehead pressed against his as she sunk down on his length, gasping at the sensation of being completely filled by the man she had fantasised about for years. His hands moved to her hips, before she moved them, putting them behind his head, taking full control. He smirked, before his mouth fell open - her hips riding him felt incredible. Pulling her body up, keeping the tip inside, she bounced gently, teasing him. Sinking down on him again, only to repeat the process. His legs were shaking from the sensations.

"Don't tease me, ride me." His blue eyes were like ice, and Nat sunk down so he was fully sheathed before moving her hips back and forth. She released his hands and gripped onto his shoulders for leverage, arching her body backwards slightly so his cock hit against her g spot deep inside her. One of his hands moved to her ass cheek, the other to one of her breasts, both of them squeezing and kneading at the flesh as her body grinded against him.

The hand on her ass moved round to circle her still sensitive clit, making her hips jerk faster.

"Cillian.... Cillian...." Her breathy moans of his name, the way her pussy clamped him, claiming him completely, the feel of her firm breast in his hand, the way her eyes fluttered closed as her orgasm approached... She was intoxicating.

"Baby.. I'm close..." He groaned, feeling that burning coil in his abdomen.

"Me too... I'm on the pill..." He grinned and held her hips still, pounding his hips up hard from underneath her. He had to cover her mouth to silence her loud screams, careful not to alert Paul in the next apartment. That only seemed to turn her on more, and she took two of his fingers into her mouth, sucking them, still tasting herself on them from earlier. The hand on her ass slapped it and squeezed it hard in response, making her cry out.

"That's it... Good girl... Fuck, I'm gonna cum..." Her orgasm flowed from her at his words, and she felt him shoot several streams of hot cum deep inside her as her walls clenched around him, milking him for all he had to give her.

Their foreheads pressed together again, both panting as they rode out the waves of pleasure.

"Does that live up to your fantasy?" He chuckled, groaning a little as she gave him a final clench of her walls.

"More than... Fuck that was incredible..." She gasped, gently rocking against him, not wanting him to leave her body just yet. She could feel him hardening again, in fact she wasn't sure he even softened.

"Don't stop, keep moving... Nice and slow.. Just like that..." He helped her hips move slowly, riding him gently.

"You're insatiable, aren't you..." She groaned.

"You feel too good wrapped around me, full of my cum deep inside you... You gonna let me fill you up again yeah?" She didn't answer, instead just allowed him to move her against him. He brought her hand down to rub her clit, needing to feel her cum again. She circled the bud gently at first, then feeling his cock start to twitch inside her she picked up the pace. He suddenly moved them so she was underneath him, his hips pistoning into her as he bent his head down to watch her fingers pleasuring herself.

"I'm gonna cum, Cillian...."

"I'm right there with you, come on..." A deep groan from both of them as they came together, him filling her up for the second time.

His body fell against hers as she held his shoulders, his face buried in her neck lightly caressing the skin with the tip of his nose.

"Fuck... Natalie... I haven't been able to do that for years," he laughed, hissing slightly pulling his sensitive cock out of her. Their mixed juices flowing from her onto the sofa cushion.

"I only came over for bubble bath.." she chuckled, her head laid back against the arm of the sofa as she caught her breath.

"My bath's probably still warm, might as well jump in with me?" He offered.

"No funny business in there, I think I need a breather..."

"Better make it a quick bath then. You're not leaving this apartment tonight. Or this weekend, in fact."

[dumbass-extraordinaire]

Duck, Duck, Grief

The newly reopened wound on Aubrey’s thigh throbs dully as she limps away from the base of the ruined Mt. Kepler and back towards the gate.  She hears a voice in the back of her mind, the sensible one that sounds a lot like Duck, telling her that walking on an injured leg is a bad idea and that she’s only gonna make it worse.  A louder, more vicious voice tells her she deserves it.  This one doesn’t sound like Duck.  She ignores them both and keeps walking.  The night air is cold, numbing her exposed arms and face.  Aubrey is grateful for it.  Having a body feels like an impossible task right now.  Thinking is out of the question, because thinking means acknowledging everything that just happened- 

(gone all gone all gone he’s gone he’s gone it’s all your fault why couldn’t you heal him useless you didn’t even try you told him to leave he was supposed to leave now he’s gone it’s your fault)

-and she wasn’t ready.  Her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton and her ears were buzzing and it was too cold and she couldn’t breathe-

(he’s on the ground his eyes are open he doesn’t see you he isn’t breathing why isn’t he breathing his hands are cold he is never cold he is always warm warm warm warm smile warm laugh cold)

“Miss, are you okay?  Can you hear me?”

There is a voice above her-

(it is not his voice you will never hear his voice again your fault all your fault dead dead dead)

-the voice continues, but it is not talking to her anymore.

“I think she’s in shock-- Oh god, she’s bleeding, oh that’s real bad, aw jeez,” warm hands grip her arms and lift her to her feet.  She doesn’t remember falling to her knees.  That explains why her leg feels like it’s on fire-

(burning burning the house is on fire there is a man in a mask her dad is on the ground burning)

  She is vaguely aware of being half-carried over to an ambulance.  They sit her down, telling her to put pressure on the wound, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders.  She does this without comment, cannot open her mouth for fear that the words will come tumbling out and never ever stop.  She does not move.

…

Duck and Minerva had just finished taking down the abomination and were making their way over to Leo Tarkesian and Dr. Sarah Drake when they saw the top of Mt. Kepler lift into the air, then came crashing back down, shaking the earth and causing the telescope to creak and sway a little, which in all honesty was really terrifying.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ!” Duck yelped as the ground shook with the aftershocks of the mountain’s collapse.  He lost his balance but Minerva grabbed his arm to steady him before he could fall over. 

“Duck Newton You Should Be Careful!  Core Strength Is An Integral Part Of Any Hero’s Skill Set!” She exclaimed cheerfully, clapping a hand onto his shoulder with almost as much force as the mountain’s collapse.

“Thanks Minnie,” he wheezed, rubbing his sore shoulder.  Sarah ran up to them, her eyes wide with shock.

“What the hell just happened to the mountain?” she asked, her face pale with fear.

Duck scratched his head.  “Honestly, Sarah?  I got no earthly idea, but we should probably go find out,” he sighed.  “C’mon, we got a ways to go.”

The group of four made their way across the field towards the parking lot, Minerva still giving Leo a piggyback ride on account of his injuries.  When they reached the front gate, Sarah paused and turned to Duck.  She looked as exhausted as he felt.

Running a hand through her hair, she sighed, “As fun as this has been, I think I’ve just about maxed out my daily limit for weird.  If it’s all the same to y’all, I think I’m gonna head on home.”  She points to him, “Don’t think this means I’m gonna let you off the hook about this, mister.  I expect an explanation.”

He salutes her playfully, “Yes, Ma’am.  I’ll have that report on your desk by Monday.”

She smiles and says, “See ya around, Newton,” before turning and walking into the night.

Duck, Minerva, and Leo do the same, making their way to Duck’s government-issued truck.  He chucks the extra broadsword into the truck bed, slings Beacon back around his waist, and slides behind the wheel exhaustedly.  A part of him waits for Aubrey to call shotgun before remembering with a start that she isn’t with them.  He’s so used to having her and Ned as back up in life threatening situations that their absence right now is disconcerting.  He’s more than a little anxious to see them again; they’d all been so busy with their own situations the past few days that they hadn’t had much of a chance to hang out.

“What A Fine Chariot This Is, Duck Newton,” Minerva booms jovially, slapping the roof of his truck.  There is the distinct sound of crumpling metal.

Duck squints blearily at her as she squeezes into the passenger seat, mentally cycling through the five stages of grief as Minerva buckles her seatbelt.  He turns the key in the ignition and drives out of the parking lot.

… 

The closer they get to Amnesty Lodge, the more nervous Duck gets.  Not for the first time since the whole Sylvain mess started, he resents Kepler’s location in the Radio Quiet Zone.  Usually he didn’t mind not having a cellphone, but right now he would give just about anything to call Aubrey and Ned and make sure they’re okay.  The herd of ambulances and police cars heading towards the Lodge do nothing to quell Duck’s mounting anxiety levels.

His anxiety turns to dread as he turns onto the dirt road leading to the lodge and sees the crowd of townsfolk gathered in front of the gate, an ambulance parked off to the side.  He jerks the truck to a stop and jumps out, not even bothering to take the keys out of the ignition as he scans wildly for his friends.  Minerva moves to follow him, but he stops her, telling her to watch out for Leo.  Things are complicated enough without throwing an honest-to-fucking-god alien warrior into the mix.

When he finally does see Aubrey’s colorful shock of dyed hair, it is both a relief and an extra source of stress.  A relief because she’s alive, and a source of stress because she’s sitting in the ambulance.

Duck rushes over to her, his heart dropping into his stomach as a list of every worst case scenario runs through his head.  Someone found out about the lodge, someone went through the gate who wasn’t supposed to and went on a rampage, Agent Stern arrested someone, someone got hurt, someone got killed.  At least Aubrey is okay.  And while he doesn’t see Ned anywhere, Duck isn’t too worried about the old guy.  He’d survived ramming into a Pizza Hut sign with a jetpack, as well as the explosion of said jetpack immediately afterwards.  The man was damn near unkillable.  He skids to a stop in front of Aubrey, his momentum almost causing him to crash into the side of the ambulance.  He takes her in, noting the bandage on her leg and the shock blanket around her shoulders.

“Y’okay, kid?”  He asks, “Aubrey?”  She doesn’t respond, doesn’t look at him or even seem to register his presence.  

That’s his first clue that something’s wrong, because he’s seen her like this before, after the whole ordeal with the Pizza Hut sign.  The hollow, haunted expression on her face is nearly identical to the one she’d worn that day.  It scared him then and it scares him now.

“Aubrey,” he repeats her name.  “C’mon kid, ya gotta talk to me.  I just got here, I’m way outta the loop.”  Nothing.  She just keeps staring blankly ahead.  He crouches down in front of her, waving a hand in front of her face to get her attention.  Again, nothing.  Shit.

He stands back up and starts pacing, raking his hands through his hair, “Aubrey!”  He snaps.  The longer she stays unresponsive, the more nervous he gets, “I need you to say something, kid, you’re fuckin’ scaring me!”  Try as he might, he can’t quite keep the panic from bleeding into his voice.

Finally, finally, she looks up at him, and his heart breaks.

Aubrey looks absolutely wrecked.  Her eyes are bloodshot and ringed black with smeared mascara and eyeliner, her face blotchy and tearstained.  Disconcertingly, both her irises are a bright, piercing orange.  Duck figures this is something important, something he should ask her about right away.  He doesn’t, though, because he couldn’t care less about whatever earth-shattering event made Aubrey’s eyes change color.  He doesn’t care about all that world-saving, chosen one stuff, and he never has.  He cares about people, his people, and right now that’s Aubrey and Ned.  They’re the Pineguard, his family, and he would rather die than see them hurt.

“D-Duck,” Aubrey whimpers, her voice fragile like his ma’s best china.  “Duck, I couldn’t…h-he…”  She shatters, then, curling in on herself as she sobs.

“Hey now, uh,” Duck has never been good at comforting people, especially when they’re crying.  But this is Aubrey and she needs him, social anxiety be damned.

He sits down next to her on the tailgate of the ambulance, shifting so that he’s almost facing her, and puts his arms out, “Do you-- Ooph!”  Before he can finish his question, Aubrey collapses against him, sobbing into his shoulder.  Duck freezes for a moment, unsure, before wrapping his arms around her.

“I-It’s all,” she hiccups, “it’s all m-my fault, Duck, I-I couldn’t…”  She dissolves into sobs again, too distressed to continue.  Her shoulders shake with the force of it.

Duck pats her back awkwardly.  “Aw, Aubrey, I don’t know ‘bout that,” he says, “I don’t think-- don’t blame yourself, kid.  I’m sure you did everything you could.”  Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because she starts crying even harder.

He doesn’t know what to say, so he just hugs her tighter instead.  He hates himself a little for that, wishes to god that the words didn't stick in the back of his throat like old gum on the underside of a picnic bench.  Aubrey hiccups, and Duck rubs her shoulders soothingly.  He’s never seen her like this before, never seen her this broken.  Sure he’s seen her cry, seen her upset, but never like this.  Something is very, very wrong, and Aubrey’s clearly in no shape to tell him what, so he scans the crowd for someone who can.

Finally, he makes eye contact with Jake Coolice.  Which, okay, not exactly ideal, except for the fact that he’s standing next to Mama, who’s engaged in conversation with Detective Maygen.  Duck jerks his head towards the matriarch of Amnesty Lodge, hoping Jake picks up what he’s putting down.  The neon-cloaked Sylph looks confused, and he points at Mama and mouths her name in a silent question.  Duck nods emphatically.  Jake smiles and gives him two thumbs up before tugging on the sleeve of Mama’s duster to get her attention.  The older woman turns to Jake, who points in Duck’s direction.  She squares her shoulders, like she’s preparing for battle, and makes her over to the ambulance.  

The first thing Duck notices is how tired she looks.  The second is the blood on her shirt and hands.  

His blood turns to ice in his veins, “What the fuck happened?” he demands, “Are y’okay?”

Mama sighs, her whole body moving with it, “It’s not mine,” is all she says, and her shoulders slump in something a bit too much like defeat for Duck’s taste.

“Whaddya mean, whose is it then?” he asks, panic setting in.

She exhales softly through her nose.  “Duck, honey, I’m real sorry,” she begins, “now I don’t want you blaming yourself for this, ‘cause it ain’t no one’s fault.”  Mama pauses, looking up at the night sky before running a hand down her face.  There is dried blood under her fingernails.

“Whaddya mean, Mama, what happened?  What don’t ya want me blaming myself for?”

She looks pained, “Duck, sweetheart--.”

“No!  Don’t baby me, I aint a fuckin’ kid,” he snaps.  “What. The. Hell. Happened.”

“I-it was Ned.”  The response comes not from Mama, but Aubrey.  She pulls aways from Duck, exhaling shakily and wiping her eyes.

Duck stares at her.  “Whaddya mean, did he get hurt or somethin’?” he asks, pretty sure he already knows the answer to that question and hoping to god that he’s wrong, “Aubrey?”

She shakes her head.  “No, uh,” she takes a shaky breath, “Shit, I can’t do this.  Mama, uh, can you explain, please?”  Her voice trembles as she gives the older woman a pleading look.

Mama gives her a sad smile, “Sure, baby.”

“Thanks,” Aubrey sniffles.  Duck puts an arm around her and she buries her face in his shoulder.

Mama takes a deep breath, “Duck, ya said ya didn’t wanna be babied, so I guess I better just say it outright.  Ned ain't hurt, honey.  I’m so, so sorry, Duck, but he’s dead.  Ned’s dead.”

The words hit him like a punch in the gut, leaving him breathless and gasping.  

That can’t be right, Ned can’t be dead.  Ned ‘Cowardly’ Chicane, the only one of them with any sort of self-preservation instinct, the guy who just the other day had assured Duck that he didn’t need to worry about him getting hurt because he quote-unquote, “knew when to get the hell outta Dodge” was dead?  No way.  This had to be to work of the shapeshifter, or some sick practical joke.  It couldn’t be true, because if it was, it would mean Duck had failed.  It would mean that something happened and he hadn’t been there to take the big hit.  It would mean that Ned had taken the hit instead.  And he can’t handle that.  What’s the point of being the “Chosen One”, the so-called savior of the planet if he can’t keep the people he cares about safe?  

“Duck?”  Mama’s voice cuts through the haze of grief and shock clouding his brain.  He doesn’t respond, “You with us?”

He wants to argue, wants to break down and scream at the injustice of it all.  But he doesn’t, because he’s not the only one grieving Ned’s-- he’s not the only one affected.  Aubrey’s here too, huddled against his side like a barnacle on the hull of a ship.  God, she’s so young, still just a kid, really.  She shouldn’t have to deal with this alone.  She shouldn’t have to deal with this at all, truth be told, but that’s not in the cards.  The least Duck can do is be strong for her.  He’s good at being strong.  So he pushes aside all his grief and anger and self-recrimination, packing them away in a cardboard box in some dusty corner of his mind to deal with later.  Aubrey comes first.

He takes a deep breath, “Yeah, Mama, I’m with ya.”  He runs a tired hand down his face, “What, uh, what happened?”  His voice trembles right at the end.  He clenches his jaw.  

Mama glances ever so slightly at Aubrey.  “I’m fine,” is all the young woman says.  Mama looks to the night sky, as if hoping the stars can tell her how to make this easier.  Whatever she was looking for, it isn’t there and she faces Duck once more.

She does that thing again, squaring her shoulders like she’s getting ready for a fight, “The Abomination, it took Ned’s shape an’ then spilled the beans about everything on television.  The lodge, the gate, Sylvain, all of it.  That’s why all these folks are here,” she gestures to the crowd of townspeople.  

“Ned, he killed it and came down here to try and divert ‘em, send ‘em on a wild goose chase.  It sorta worked, actually, he got rid of about half of ‘em.  He starts talkin’ folks down, tryin’ to get the rest of them to see sense,” she laughs bitterly, “And it mighta even worked, too, ‘cept then the glowing coffin shows up and out pops Dani.  And she’s all feral, completely outta her mind after being separated from the hot springs for so long.”  

Her mouth presses into a thin line.  “And then she, well… She charged these here folks, and Ned, he tackles her.  Thing is, you get a buncha scared folks with guns in one place, well, someone’s bound to get hurt.  And tonight, that was Ned.  He got shot, and by the time the ambulance got here it was too late.  There wasn’t nothing any of us could do,” she looks over at Aubrey when she says that.  “And that’s… that’s the whole story.  I’m sorry,” she gives him a sympathetic look, “Y’alright, Duck?”

Duck says nothing, just nods sharply.  Because how do you respond to something like that?  What do you say when someone’s been ripped from your life and you can’t remember the last thing you said to them?  What do you say?  What can you say that would be enough to encompass the raw, gaping wound that takes the place of your heart, the way your stomach drops, when you think of all the things left unsaid?  What do you say?

As it turns out, “Let’s go home,” is a pretty good start.

[wizkiddx]

the worst case scenario

okay so this is possibly part 1 of a v v angsty dad!tom fic!!

WARNING: the section under the cut of this is v v v dark with mentions of death and some graphic descriptions of blood etc - please please don't read if any of these things may affect you <3

the part above the cut (the keep reading bit) is completely fluffy (a bit of childbirth but not graphic) so you could read only that first bit as a stand alone if anybody wanted to

dad!tomholland x reader

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“Stop laughing at me!!!”  Y/n exclaimed in mock anger before bursting out laughing, knowing she did look pretty ridiculous. 

“I can’t help it you just…. You look like an elephant!” Tom cackled from his reclined position lying on the couch, whilst his 8 month pregnant fiancé struggled to get up from her seated position on the floor - where she had spent the last half an hour wrapping presents for her nephews birthday.

“You know a supportive soon to be father would’ve helped me up!” Replying with a scowl that didn’t last long, Y/n finally standing up took the three steps to the couch before uncerimoniously collapsing into it. 

Grinning with this absolute sparkle in his eye, Tom leant forward and slid up to Y/n to pull her into his side. His hand came to rest upon her massive bump - at this point it was almost a rule that if he were touching Y/n he also had to be touching the bump. Tom claimed it to be skin to skin contact and although Y/n were pretty sure that didn’t come into effect until after the baby was born, she wasn’t complaining either. 

“It’s a shame your stuck with me then huh?” He murmured into the top of Y/n’s head, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head while tracing meaningless patterns on her shirt over the bump. Tom was beyond excited to become a Dad, family had always meant everything to him growing up (and now). There was nothing he wanted more , therefore, to call them a family of three - or more accurately four, not forgetting Tess of course. 

“Oh how I regret ever taking up that extra shift at the club” She mused sarcastically, enjoying how he feigned offence in return.

 The way the two had met was so incredibly cliche that it was almost painful, whenever anyone asked how they met she always winced internally. But it was their truth, Y/n had been a caddy at the golf course Tom frequented with his brothers. The nature of his ‘reputation’ meant the caddies always had to sign NDA’s to be paired with Tom’s group and the chosen few were those personally recommended by the golf course. She’d always stuck out to him, mainly because she seemed to be biting her tongue as they worked their way round the course. Caddies, also by job description, were not to speak unless spoken to; to be polite and courteous but not chatty. So, given how professioial she was, had taken some convincing for Tom to drag it out why she looked in physical pain whenever they played the 13th hole.

~~

“Look somethings on your mind I can tell! If you hate me I can arrange another caddy I just -“ He followed her march to back from the hole toward the little buggy, ahead of his brothers and Dad who were making small talk from behind.

“FINE! Okay fine.” Reaching the end of her tether, Y/n snapped, whipping her body round to face him. “It’s your grip! On this hole especially you always play the driver with you pinky too far down the shaft, it’s why you always end up in the bunker on the 13th! It’s bloody infuriating because them I’m the one that has to clean the buggy you’ve trampled sand into!”

“Oh…. I-I … I wasn’t expecting that” Tom had spoken quietly, in an unfamiliar tone to Y/n. Over hours she’d spent on the course with them over the months, Y/n had gotten used to his storytelling voice when recounting an insane experience to his family that he’d had in the world of Hollywood; his grumpy voice when he played badly, which was often; and then his gloating voice - most definitely the worst and intolerable. This voice though, was different.  

“I-I’m so sorry I have no right, I just-“ She’d out her foot in it …. badly. The young actor was one of the most clubs most prestigious and valued members; and she’d just insulted him. Clearly, she was also about to be in search of another job. 

“No no I appreciate your tip… I didn’t even realise you play?” His gracious smile calmed her nerves a little, though Y/n still wrung her hands together as she replied.

“Well we aren’t supposed to talk about it but the club let us employees loose after hours… I practice quite a bit”

“Seeing as you think my game is so shitty, you fancy a round next time?”

~~

Flash forward 3 and half years and a proposal, they were now taking their next massive leaps in the world together. Bringing a whole new life into it. It was bloody terrifying, they both openly admitted. But it was also exciting, new, incredible and… and made them even closer. Now they had to be in each others lives forever, no escaping. 

“How many days left?” Craning her neck back on his shoulder so Y/n could meet his brown eyes, she knew the answer would be immediate. 

“15 till the due date and the app said they’re the size of a rhubarb but I don’t really know what that means.” He knew more about the pregnancy and birth than she did. He had about a dozen different apps on his phone (including one pointlessly comparing the size of the baby to carrots/ watermelons/ onions), had read 4 different books (which for Tom was the equivalent to reading Newton’s book ‘philisphica Mathematica’.)

Ever since she’d told him about the pregnancy Tom had excelled every expectation Y/n had of him… massively. Without even having a conversation surrounding it, he had explicitly cancelled all major work commitments within 2 months of the due date and until around a year after. He had flown back and fourth across the world so he could pop in and check on you. He’d also set his whole family on becoming your minders when he was away - Y/n wouldn’t have been able to go a day avoiding a Holland (or Osterfield) if she had tried. 

The pregnancy thus far hadn’t been the easiest though, hence why Y/n still appreciated to constant worrying texts and calls. During the first trimester the morning sickness had been literal hell; and then you’d had a little bit of a scare with pre-eclampsia during the second. It landed you a 3 day stay in hospital and a very very panicked Tom rushing back from New York on the first possible flight. 

So now? Y/n wanted the baby out. She wanted family life as parents. (At which point hopefully Tom would stop comparing the size of your child to an assortment of different fruit and veg)

“You know, you really are going to be the best dad in the world Thomas Stanely Holland.”

“And you Y/f/n y/m/n y/l/n are already a pretty impressive mum.”

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

It was 3 o’clock the next morning when Y/n awoke with a sudden groan instinctively rubbing her stomach in an attempt to get them easing up. Now too familiar with Braxton-Hicks contractions, the weird cramping that waxes and wanes but never letting her get any rest - Y/n knew she was in for a long night. With a muted sigh she carefully lifted Tom’s arm off her side, cautious not to disturb him. The poor boy had been up most nights with her, just because baby wasn’t letting her sleep, it didn’t mean Tom wasn’t deserving of rest either. 

So making furtive movements at a snails pace, she attempted to tip toe out the room - yet as Tom had pointed out before, she looked almost like an elephant, so everything was relative. Surprisingly though, she was successful, escaping onto the soft cream carpet of their hallway before choosing to venture into the room opposite theirs. It had once been a spare room, though more correctly termed the ‘shit room’ because that’s where all the accumulated shit they got was thrown. Now however, Tom and his brothers had taken on the mammoth task of clearing it out and redecorating - creating the most beautiful nursery one could ever see. Complete with a rocking chair which Y/n made a beeline for, now allowing herself to audible groan at the tight sensation deep inside her. 

Normally they would ease after a half an hour or so, yet this time, after what was surely more like an hour and a half they started to…. ramp up. What was a tight pressure sensation quickly became one more forceful volatile and full of pain. She put it off for about 3 or 4 cycles of these, pursing her lips and breathing deeply as she tried to convince herself they’d just simply fizzle away. This couldn’t be the real thing could it? It was too soon - as Tom had said she wasn’t due for another 15 days. It wasn’t happening… was it?

The answer was pretty comprehensively and cohesively given when Y/n tried to stand up, in the hope of walking the ache off, she felt an incredibly tight crunch as her insides seemed to wring themselves together. Oh … and a surge of water soaked her pyjama bottoms. 

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCKKKK TOMMMM!! TOM-ah shit-  MY WATERS!!! TOOOMMMM”The pain had amped up to a very very impressive levels, forcing Y/n to clutch her sides as she kept bending and straightening back up… as if that would help. Her lonesome agony didn’t last long though, a flustered Tom hurtled in the room - his hair sticking up all over the place and although his eyes were puffy from sleep he still had them glued open impressively wide.

“No its-its too- its too early!” In pure disbelief, Tom shook his head staring across at her face, contorted in pain.

“Yeh because-“ She gulped and exhaled in as much of a controlled manner she could through pursed lips; before answering his stupid statement. “Because I can just HOLD IT IN FOR ANOTHER 2 WEEKS SHALL I?” It took a while for Tom to process, looking down at the puddle of clear fluid on the floor and damp patch on her plaid bottoms while it was Y/n’s turn to look upon his it utter disbelief at his stupidity. 

 “Oh shit shitshitshitshitshitshit!!!!” His words grew with increased volume and place whilst he stayed frozen, his arms reaching out lightly toward Y/n without touching her though. “What do we do?!”

He of course had revised repeatedly and extensively what he was supposed to do when this happened - yet in the moment all knowledge and planning evaporated from his mind. Now wasn’t the time for taking the mick of her terrified fiancé though, Y/n was too blinded by pain as she leaned on the dresser.

“Get the-ah FUCKING hell - phone we need to time them and phone the … the-MIDWIFE.” It was hard to direct a frantic and terrified man when one feels as though her insides are collapsing in on themselves. 

Tom gulped, nodding shakily, whilst trying to take deep breaths because although he was fucking terrified it wasn’t him that was giving birth. He had to step up now. 

It took barely 10 minutes from the midwife picking up to a frantic Tom for her to assess that they needed to get into the hospital asap. During the pregnancy, all of Tom’s rich friends had recommended paying for a private hospital like the ‘Portland hospital’. The idea was it was a much more luxurious and private experience - of course coming with a heavy price tag. For Tom money was not an issue, so he’d suggested to Y/n and met the strongest rejection of all his life. The NHS was by far the only choice in Y/n’s mind - of course it busier, a lot less serene and not as private; but if god forbid something did happen, that was where all the experts and resources were. The idea of being able to pay for better access to healthcare actually repulsed Y/n and everything she stood for… so in short Tom was met with a very blunt refusal. 

Once they arrived on the ward, all it took was one look at Y/n’s inflated belly and the way her body was squirming in the wheelchair Tom was pushing, whilst laden with the baby bags they’d had packed and prepared for weeks, for the pair to be rushed into a side room. After an intense 20 minutes of getting Y/n settled, getting her full medical history and inspection of her vagina the hmidwife’s head popped up from between her legs with a kind smile. She explained in a calming and gentle tone that Y/n was 5 cms dilated and had got to that point fast, yet now things looked to be slowing down a bit. With final words of advice of try to relax she left the pair to it. 

They both looked at each other, a matching expression of confusion and relative terror blatantly clear in both their eyes. It had them both burst out laughing, if Y/n then scowled at the pain that shot through her side.

“This is really happening huh?” Tom murmured as he rounded the bed to gently run his hands through her sticky hair.

“I don’t know unless you really do want me to postpone their arrival for a short while?” Tom rolled his eyes and shook his head, although not really able to surpress the chuckle at his finances humour - even if it was at his expense.

“Glad to see you can still be as sarcastic as ever.” He laughed but before she could reply another wave of contractions hit making her instead just scream - grabbing his hand so tightly Tom was certain a bone or two were crushed in the process. 

It was another hour or two of the same traumatic sight of watching the women he loved more than anything in the world be in such extreme pain. God knows how his appreciate for his mother grew in that moment - she had had four kids overall, two of them twins! Tom dared to think of the scenes in that room of twin brothers birth. Having to deal with both Sam and Harrys large heads…

Harrison had arrived in the meantime, he was to be the child’s godfather and Y/n was more than happy to have him there - even if it was more of a support to Tom than Y/n. Quite expectantly though, he was just as terrified and useless as Tom - so instead of having one idiot to deal with, the midwives now had double trouble of terrified men. 

And yet after another 1 hour or so Y/n was being told to make one final push. Baring down on the gas and air tube, Y/n squeezed her eyes shut together whilst simultaneously contracting every muscle in her body with what little energy she had left. Hearing Tom and Harrisons words of encouragement; the midwifes orders and her own long and continuous scream, Y/n pushed with all she had. It was excruciating and torturous yet she kept going until the most beautiful sound was the only thing left reverberating round the room. 

Her babies cry. 

Tom looked at the scene in awe, feeling an almost out of body experience as the midwife unfolded from her position leant over the bed looking up to Tom. 

“Do you want to cut the cord Dad?” Releasing a breathy laugh, tears collecting in his eyes he looked down at Y/n. She looked a mess - hair flying all over the place; sweaty sheen and a ruined look on her face; panting hard as she caught her breath. But to Tom? Never had he seen her look more beautiful, especially when she managed a small smile, nodding encouragingly at him. So he moved round to the end of the bed as the nurse motioned, while Harrison squeezed Y/n’s shoulder with the proudest look on his face. 

It was the first time Tom had ever seen his child. And really, seeing a wrinkly little pink thing covered in all sorts of gunge - it shouldn’t be such a magical moment. But here he was, a single tear escaping over his lower lashes at the sight of them wriggling about. The midwife gave him a second, before gently handing him the medical scissors and directing him as to what to do. Once done, the lady announced the room it was a beautiful baby girl.

The next hour or so was a bit of a blur, the whole situation felt extremely surreal to everyone - but perhaps most to Y/n. Although the baby was premature the doctors had checked and were confident was perfectly healthy, so after both Y/n and Tom having their turn holding her (Tom finally got his real skin to skin time) they brought in a little incubator where she could rest while Y/n was recovering. Due to her prematurity, as a safety net, the doctors did want to keep the baby girl in overnight for observation, which meant the whole party would be staying too. 

Y/n loved nothing more than watching Tom and Haz with their baby. The way they delicately cradled her in their strong arms and the way their eyes softened so inexplicably. Y/n swore that had she not just pushed a watermelon sized human out her vagina, the way Tom looked while holding their daughter would make her pregnant all over again.  

“I still can’t believe you two created a real life human.” Harrison mused while standing with the baby girl in his arms, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he watched her sleep soundly. 

“To be fair it was mainly Y/n” Tom laughed as he squeezed Y/n’s hand (wincing internally as it hurt his already injured hand - Y/n had an almost death grip)

“Oh no credit where credits due… he was involved for a whole 3 minutes or so.” Harrison snorted and Tom scowled at her, yet her cheeky if exhausted grin instantly erased any annoyance.

“Don’t make sexual jokes in front of our child!” He retorted, Harrison still laughing at his friend. Haz loved Y/n too - she made Tom a better version of himself. And now, she’d made him a dad. 

**triggering part starts here

After all the excitement of the early morning it was more than fair to say Y/n was shattered, Tom not doing much better. So after a little bit, Tom joined Y/n on the bed and they instantly fell asleep to the light beeping of their babies heart monitor. Harrison stayed in the arm chair in the corner of the room, wheeling the little incubator right in front of him to just stare at the little girl. He had been texting Tom’s family too, giving them details of when they’d be allowed to come and meet the little one, who had just woken up to all Tom’s frantic texts from the night before.

Eventually though he was ped ousnapt of his happy daze, looking over to the bed and seeing Tom groan as he shifted on the mattress that was technically only spacious enough for one.

“You good mate?” Harrison spoke in a low voice, keen not to disturb either the baby of Y/n - she had earned a bit of peace. Tom just mumbled in response, rubbing his eyes as he sat up before letting out a deeper groan.

“-hat the fuck” Tom lifted up the blanket covering them both as Harrison looked on inquisitively. But then Tom leapt off the bed, started violently shouting Y/n as he shook her in a look of desperation. It was violent and harsh, Harrison was horrified as he immediately stood up in an action to pull Tom off her. 

“Tom what are you-“

“Get help Haz.” Tom turned around to look at Haz, only at which point could the blonde haired boy make out why Tom looked so insane. Because his trousers, and the bedsheets that were now not hidden by the blankets, was covered in a red sticky substance. Jaw dropping, Haz slalomed round the incubator to stand at the foot of the bed. 

It honestly looked like a horror scene. Y/n’s lower half was completely saturated in a bright red liquid that slowly was creeping further and further through the sheets. Her face looked pale, Haz cursing himself for not noticing earlier and her breathing… it looked so slow it was barely noticeable. The silence was only endured for a few moments, before Tom turned back to violently shaking the dead weight below him yelling her name repeatedly and frantically. 

As soon as the alarm was raised more and more staff piled into the room, each one carrying a new level of importance and seniority - instantly taking control of the room and shouting orders. Tom had long since been pulled away from the bed by a nurse, who was trying to speak to him and calm him down, but was completely ignored as he focused on the scene over their shoulder.

“Looking like a primary PP bleed but she’s lost at least 3 pints already…. Somone bleep the aenestists and lets get moving to the OR please!.. We’ll need bloods crossmatch 5 units….”  

Tom heard to the controlled sense of urgency in the lead doctors voice and he felt as though his heart was being torn straight from his chest. Harrison took over from the nurse, half restraining - half hugging him as the nurse ushered them completely out the room.  Shouting over Tom’s desperate pleas to let the doctors do their thing. He fought hard against Harrison but ultimately his hold was enough to keep him back, the two watching from he corridor as Y/n’s bed was wheeled rapidly out the room - what seemed like at least 12 staff members bustling after it.

Harrison knew it was hopeless to try and talk to Tom, as he paced up and down the ‘relatives room’ the two had been confined to. They didn’t have a clue what was going on, no-one seemed to want to tell them - making the worst case option appear the most likeliest in Harrison’s head. A nurse had said the baby, as yet unnamed, had been taken down the neonatal unit so that it was one thing less for them to worry about ; but refused to say anything about Y/n, saying a doctor would come and explain soon. 

It must’ve been 20 mins, even if to the two men it felt like a lifetime, when a round and short, greying man with big black rimmed rectangular glasses entered the room. Tom was too in his own head to even notice, pacing up and down the room while constantly running a hand through his hair as he tried to keep his breath in regular time - even if his brain was on overdrive.  It took Harrison calling his name twice to make him snap out of it, looking up with desperate pleading eyes to notice the stout man, a sympathetic smile on his face. 

“Are you Mrs y/L/n’s husband?”

“Fiance”

“I’m Dr Webber the consultant gynaecologist,  shall we take a seat sir?” Tom stayed rigid, standing opposite him in an offensive manner.

“She’s dead isn’t she?” At Tom’s cold words, Haz’s breath halted in his chest. It had been what they’d both been thinking, of course, it was natural when you see someone with more blood out their body than inside it. The doctor seemed a little shocked at his frankness, pressing his lips together as he let out a sigh. 

“No sir she’s not but she is very very unwell. Please, let’s sit down so we can talk about it because I understand it’s a lot to take in.” It took a couple of movements of Tom stood frozen staring but Dr Webber held firm, waiting until Tom took a seat next to Haz before he moved - drawing a chair from across the room so he could face both men. 

“First off I’m sorry you were removed from the room and put in here for so long but these situations are incredibly hard and to get Y/n the best care we needed the whole room.”

“Doctor I just… I just need to know what’s going on.” He couldn’t deal with the state of unknowing, Tom was going insane, he didn’t care for the small talk. 

“Sorry right, so what we think happened was your fiancé developed a condition called ‘placental accreta’. In simple terms, a bit of the placenta is stuck in the uterus and causes bleeding.”

“That much bleeding?” Haz couldn’t help himself from butting in, he knew this wasn’t really his place, that he was just being there for Tom. But at the same time that was his godchilds mum, it mattered. 

“Honestly? Usually not, Y/n had very severe bleed… So she has been taken in for surgery, where the very talented surgeons are trying patch up the affected blood vessels. I’m afraid at this point that’s all I can really say.”

“So… she’s going to be okay?” It was desperate plea for something that, even if Tom wouldn’t admit, he didn’t really believe - it seemed as if none of the three in the room did. 

“It’s not that easy I’m afraid. Assuming the surgeons can stabilise the bleeding and fix it…. with blood loss like she has suffered we… we don’t know what the effects of that will be. We tried to prevent as much damage to her brain and body as possible with transfusing blood into her and it was good that she was in hospital so could get treatment almost immediately…. But I’m afraid it’s simply too early to say. The first hurdle is going to be getting her out of surgery safely, only then can we deal with whatever happens next.”

Tom had so many emotions flashing through his head. He knew the doctor was trying to go slow to make the information a little more digestible  but it was all so bloody incomprehensible. So when the greying man asked  both men if they had any questions, neither took up his offer. Surely they both would after hours of processing and analysing but for right now? They were stunned into silence. 

“Okay sir, now I hope you don’t mind me saying this but it really is important for you to hear. You are now a father, as Y/n is a mother. This situation is never easy but as a first time dad I need you to be aware that now your fiancé can’t be your only priority. We are all here to support you but please, just remember that.”

Harrison was so glad the doctor had said that, it was so completely true - yet Haz knew he didn’t have enough power to have said it to Tom. The whole thing was impossible and at the centre was an innocent, beautiful but totally dependant baby. 

“What happens now then?” Haz had to ask on behalf of his friend, who was now completely overwhelmed. Dr Webber sighed, leaning back and rubbing his knees before answering. 

“If the surgery is successful it’ll be at a best estimate two hours before we will have news for you , then she will be taken into intensive care where everything else would be assessed and further investigations would happen. You can both stay here or go get food, maybe go down and see the baby in the neonatal ICU? I personally promise that as soon as any of us get any news you will be the first to know.” 

He was met with the sort of silence that makes you shiver. Sighing heavily, the doctor rubbed his knees, apparently preparing to leave. “This possibly one of the worst case scenarios that could’ve happened but Y/n is in the best hands and we will do everything for her. If you do think of anything you want clarification on, grab one of the nurses and they’ll come and find me.”

And then he left. 

The room was deathly silent. Harrison couldn’t dare to look over at Tom - he knew what he would see and honestly seeing Tom like that would only make it worse. God knows how long they sat in those plastic lined, lightly padded hospital chairs. Both in silence. Just thinking… or more like worrying… or more like dreading. It was Tom who actually broke the silence first, his voice barely audible but still the meaning was crisp and clear. 

“I can’t do it Haz” For the first time since the doctor was with them, Harrison looked at Tom, catching him directly in the eye. That hurt… Tom’s eyes looked so, so… hopeless. He knew what his broken friend was saying, but honestly Haz didn’t want to hear it so he did not respond. That didn’t stop Tom though, he continued. “I can’t do it. … I-I can’t be a dad without her… I just can’t.”

What the hell was Harrison supposed to say? There wasn’t really a guidebook to this situation. He was clueless. So, cautiously Harrison just leaned over, wrapping his arms round Tom as he all but collapsed into his friends chest. Tom was sobbing harshly as Harrison looked up at the ageing ceiling tiles, trying to surpress his own emotions because now clearly wasn’t about him. 

“You can Tom… you have to.” His friend didn’t respond, well apart from harsh sobs that racked his frame. And so Harrison just let Tom cry, folded awkwardly and uncomfortably over the arm rest of the chairs, occasionally yelling into his chest at the unjustness of the situation. 

It wasn’t fair. But it had still happened. And there was still a baby girl by herself downstairs. 

//////

is this okay or too much? I won't write another part if generally people think its a bit too dark!!!!

[loptyrs-moved]

The Ikemen Vampire Stud Show

Hey again. Here’s another personal dickcanon list of all the lads. This is all in good fun and there might be some bias. Enjoy!

More under the cut. 

Napoleon Bonaparte

He’s got some of the prettiest meat out of them all. Though probably not the biggest guy, ranging in probably in the 6.5in category in length, he’s got thickness to make up for it. He is probably around the 2in mark when it comes down to the thickness of his dick. He doesn’t jerk off often, but since meeting his love interest, he just can’t help but dream about what it would be like to press kisses to their neck, and them letting him--begging him sink his fangs into them… but it’s only a fantasy… at least for now.  

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

He thinks comparing sizes is more than crude. But he has nothing to hide. It’s quite pale like the rest of him as well as smooth. Mozart is quite sensitive under the head, so pay lots of nice attention to that part, because running your tongue along the underside of it will earn you the most dulcet of moans from him. He isn’t vocal in bed, but sucking him off while he plays piano or when he writes his music will earn you a sweet little punishment. 

Leonardo da Vinci

THICK. LONG. It is a TIME to fit it all in your mouth, if you can, you brave soul you. But that stretch… oh it is so worth all that teasing foreplay of his. He likes to fuck his love slow, and hard, so that they can savor each and every inch of him. Cup his balls while you blow him and you will be so pleasantly surprised how he groans your name like it’s the only thing he knows. Arguably, he has one of the biggest cocks in the house. Purebloods are a special bunch aren’t they. 

Arthur Conan Doyle

It’s SO pretty… it’s flushed like him and the way it twitches when you stroke him is a treat to say in the least. A little bit on the longer side, and a bit straighter than most cocks, it aims to please. Arthur is a frequent masturbator if he can’t get any while he’s still single. But recently… he’s been moaning a familiar name while he touches himself. He likes to pay attention to the tip of his dick using his thumb, pretending its your tongue. Some food for thought. 

Vincent van Gogh

Let’s face it. Vince is packin. Like, we’re not talking a monster in his pants, but it will make you pick a god, any god of your choosing, and call it out while he hits the places inside that send stars bursting behind your eyes. Nicely curved for your pleasure. Roughly around 7in in length, but he’s not super thick Perhaps 1.7in thickness wise. He has a muse… and he wants to give that muse the best. And only the best. 

Theodorus van Gogh

I’m going to be biased but hear me out. He hits deep, and the way he fills his beloved is enough to turn them into a mess in his hands. He’s thick, so his partner will have to put up with the incessant teasing just to get them ready for him Theo can be a devil. Oh he could make his lover beg as he slowly fucks them with their legs over his shoulders, and pound them until his name is the only one they know. He could withhold release from them just to hear them cry and beg for even just a little relief. Other times, he can be so tender and passionate, its almost overwhelming. As his teeth sink into flesh, holding them close, he lets go of all reservations, and allows himself to be as greedy as he wants. But look into taming him. Perhaps he’ll be good for them, and obey. 

Dazai Osamu

Not the biggest or thickest vampire in the house, but he certainly makes up for it with his hands. Lightly calloused hands running down his lover’s body while he grinds himself against them never fails to send a rush of adrenaline through him. He likes to utilize his hands and tongue to his advantage while he slowly pushes himself inside. He’s probably into cockwarming too, so get used to him being inside for quite a while. The weight feels nice, and comforting. 

Isaac Newton

Isaac HATES it when people bring attention to his dick. It’s bad enough that Dazai and Arthur already tease and heckle him for the fun of it, but the questions of seeing how big he is gets under his skin. But let’s be real, he has nothing to worry about. He didn’t expect himself to be so... thick. And with being a little above average in terms of length, Isaac is eager to please. Once he’s fully inside, the stretch of him will leave his beloved gasping for him. Kiss him. Tell him he’s loved. Perhaps suck his fingers like its his cock. He won’t last long after that. 

Jean d’Arc

My personal opinion is that he is trans, but let’s say he was born with the cock he was meant to have.

God above, blessed is this gorgeous cock that was bestowed upon Jean d’Arc. Not veiny at all and also pale like him, but it blushes the same deep red as he does when you stroke him. He’s LONG, but not super thick, but the most important part is that he can hit all the best parts inside as he has you ride him. Praise him, and often, because he will fill you to the brim with his seed in no time when your lips caress his ear. He likes to bite during, and compare you to the angels above as he feeds on you. 

William Shakespeare

The master of making you beg. The inventor of edging his lover to the point where they are in tears. Shakespeare is creative and witty, in and outside the bedroom. His willy (I AM NOT SORRY) is straight and is nearly in the 7in mark. He takes great pride in grooming himself as well. He has a bunch of devices to keep himself standing for as long as you can go, because not only does he like to deny you of the pleasure you so desperately crave, he likes to hold back on himself. After all, he likes to come with you, and fill you. Claiming you all to himself. 

Le Comte St. Germaine

Darling, he is the cock that crosses the minds of all. Especially your own. It has almost a proud, regal sort of air about it with how it mesmerizes those who see it. Le Comte also does not think comparing sizes is tasteful or gentlemanly, but he knows he has one that will blow anyone’s mind. Unbeknownst to many of the residents in the house, he does like to touch himself. Indulging himself in the thought of how your lips might feel wrapped around his thicker length. He would take great pleasure in watching you take him all in while he peppers kisses all over your neck before sinking his fangs inside you. The greatest pleasure is pleasure that is shared. Or at least that’s what he thinks. 

Sebastian

He’s seen them all. No he’s serious, Sebastian has seen every, single, one of their dicks. A true historian records every fact, no matter how big or small. Or in this case, long and thick alike. But when it comes to his own endowment, it’s modest at a decent 6in. But again, it’s not the size, it’s how one uses their gifts. He likes to use his hands the most when touching his lover but he likes to be spoiled just a little. He lives to serve his lover by taking them with his mouth and hands, but loves being… manhandled. Stroke him. Bite him. Tease him and deny him release. It’ll be the best fun you’ve had in ages. 

[headinthestaticsky]

The Dusk Calls for me: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 12

AUTHORS NOTES: None of the characters in Twilight belong to me. All rights go to Stephanie Meyer.

We’re heading into the Finale of book 1 folks... I have so many ideas for book 2... it’s going to be great. Hopefully!

“You get ready, you get all dressed up

To go nowhere in particular Back to work or the coffee shop Doesn't matter 'cause it's enough To be young and in love.”

Love by, Lana Del Rey

Bella was finally going to meet the Cullens officially. All day before I had left to go down there she paced, looking like she was going to be sick. All of the Cullens were cooking Italian for Bella. The only person who I was worried about was Rosalie. She was furious at Edward for even dating her, and when he went public with her... it set her over the edge. Emmett was chopping up lettuce and other vegetables for her while Rosalie begrudgingly held a bowl for him to put it in. I was sitting in the living room with Jasper, he was concentrated on reading some books. It was always entertaining to watch vampires read so quickly.

“Is she even Italian?” Rosalie asked.

“Her name is Bella, Rose... she has to be.” Emmett replied.

“Emmett... you thought I was french just because my name is Fleur. That food was really good though... not like I am complaining. I said.

“Okay I admit I messed up there but, I have to be right about this one.”

“Whatever you say Em.”

“Shut it short-stack.”

“At least I don’t hit my head through small doorways.”

He glared at me jokingly and then rolled his eyes.

“Rose, tell her to stop bullying me.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do that... it’s too funny to listen to.” Rosalie said.

“Ugh, I feel betrayed.” Emmett said, his hands going toward his un-beating heart.”

Rosalie smiled, it was soon dropped though. She must’ve kept thinking about Bella.

“She better eat this.”

“Don’t want to sound gluttonous here but... I was totally eat if she doesn’t.... it’s her lose.”

“Stop trying to make me laugh.”

“I will never stop my attempts to make you laugh.”

“Woo, get a whiff of that, here comes the human!” Rosalie said in a sing-songy voice.

Esme smiled widely, she quickly wiped her hands before making her way over to Bella.

“Bella, we’re making Italiano for you.”

“Bella, this is my Esme my mother for all intents and purposes.”

Emmett raised his hand and waved at Bella with a knife in it. Bella and Esme exchanged a bit of Italian.

“Hello again Bella, hope you’re well.” Jasper said.

“Hey, Jasper... hope you’re well too.”

“You’ve given us an excuse to use the kitchen again. We usual make meals for your sister when she stays over.” Carlisle said.

“I hope you’re hungry.” Esme added.

I could see a nervous look on Bella’s face, I probably should’ve told her they would cook for her. 

“Y-yeah absolutely.”

“She already ate.” Edward said, a tinge of attitude in his voice.

Rosalie stood there, anger was all of her face. She smashed the bowl she was holding in her hand.

“Pull back Edward, you’re throwing her to the wolves!” I thought.

“Damn Rose... remind me not to piss you off again.” I said.

She had to bite down a smile.

“Perfect...” She said.

“It’s just because... I know you guys don’t eat. I didn’t want to put you into any trouble.”

“Of course, that is very considerate of you.” Esme comforted.

“Just ignore Rosalie, I do.” Edward said.

“Yeah, let’s just keep pretending that this isn’t dangerous for all of us.”

“Look, I would never tell anybody about you guys... Besides, Fleur knows and you trust her.”

“It’s because I pick up a good energy from her... I know I can trust her with anything I tell her. She’s not a backstabber, she’s told me some of the stuff you’ve done. I’m sorry but, it made me sick the way you use to treat her. I hated seeing how upset she got telling the things you and your mother said to her”

My eyes widened before looking down at my legs... maybe me being here just reminded them of some of the things I told them. I wasn’t being much help to Bella right now. Jasper sensing my nerves rising, calmed them down. My uncomfortable mood slowly simmering down.

“Rosalie, stop... don’t worry Bella, she knows you wouldn’t say anything about us to anyone.” Carlisle said.

“Well, the problem not is, you two have gone public now so...”

“Emmett.” Esme interrupted.” 

“No, she should know. The entire family could get implicated if this ends badly.”

“Badly, as in... I would become the meal.”

All of the Cullens in the house except for Rosalie and Esme started to laugh. I heard a few thumps before I saw Alice and Dean enter the room.

“Hi, Bella... I’m Alice.” Alice jogged toward Bella, giving her a hug.

“Hi.”

“Gosh, you do smell good.”

“Alice what’re you.”

“Don’t worry... Bella and I are going to be great friends.”

Dean looked like he was struggling to say something. I could tell he was uncomfortable to be around Bella right now.

“It-it’s a p-pleasure to meet you.” He said.

“Don’t mind Dean, he and Jasper are our newest vegetarians.” 

“It’s okay Dean, you won’t hurt her.”

The expression on Edward’s face made me want to laugh.

“Okay well, I’m going to show her around the house.”

“Okay.” Bella mumbled.

“I’ll see you soon.” Alice said.

“Okay.” Bella said again.

“So cute!” Esme gushed.

“I know!” Alice said in agreement.

“I think that went well.” Carlisle added.

“Rose, clean this up... now.” Esme said.

I leaned back into the couch, sinking into it. Jasper put his arm around my shoulder. “What an interesting visit.” I thought to myself.

Another day came and went by, Bella and I were on our way to the diner. It had been so long since I had been down there. I was in the passengers seat of her truck. I thought since we were going to the same place, we should probably drive in the same vehicle... During out drive she started talking about how Edward had been watching her sleep for months.

“Are you serious Bella? That’s kinda creepy.”

“I’m sure you have Jasper in your room with you at night.”

“Yeah but, he always asks me before he goes in there. We plan stuff like that out... He should be coming later tonight actually.”

“Okay... you have a point there.”

When we arrived at the diner and got out of the truck Mike approached us...

“Hey, you and Cullen huh? I don’t like it... I mean he looked at you like you’re something to eat.”

Bella and I looked at each other and smirked... he had no idea how correct he was in that statement. We walked past him and entered the dinner, dad was already waiting for us.

“Hey I hope you two don’t mind I ordered food for you guys already. I got you Bells a Spinach Salad and I got you a burger Fleur.”

“Yeah that sounds good.” I said.

“Good picks dad. Even though, you should get a salad like me next time... cut back the steak.” Bella said.

“Hey, I’m as healthy as a horse.”

"Hey , Chief, the boys want to know... did you find anything by Queets river today?"  The waitress asked.

"Yeah, we found a bare human footprint... but it looks like whoever it is is headed east... the Kisap County Sheriff is gonna take over from here."

 "Okay, I hope whoever it is... they get them fast." The waitress then walked away, a group of men started talking within there group.

I turned around hearing something outside, Mike was doing something to a poor bush outside. I nudged Bella, trying to get her attention.

“Hey, someone’s flagging you outside.”

“It seems that Newton boys got a big smile for you.” Dad added.

Bella looked, and then turned back around, her face looked horrified.

“You can join them if you want.” I said smirking.

“Shut up you jerk... Mike is a good buddy though.” She said back.

Dad face flushed slightly... as if what he was going to say next was embarrassing.

“W-what about any other of the yahoo’s in town?”

“Dad... we aren’t going to talk about boys are we?” Bella said, her face starting to turn red too.”

“I guess not... with you at least.... How is everything going with you and Jasper, Fleur?”

I looked up confused, how did conversation about Bella’s relationships get turn into one about mine.

“It’s going well.”

“Good, I noticed you’ve been spending a lot more time with him lately. That car ride you took was a long one.”

“Oh yeah we drove out for a while... we looked at the stars... it was really nice. He told me I seemed stress and just decided to take me somewhere.” I said, I looked down at my hands while smiling.

Dad seeing this smiled too.

“I always liked that boy, you got yourself I good one.”

“I know I do.” I said finally looking up at him.

“I was only bringing up boys with you Bella because... I feel like I leave you alone too much.”

“I don’t mind being alone dad, I’m like you in that way.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Timeskip: Later that night.

I was in my room, thinking about what dad had said earlier... He found a bare human footprint in the woods. Could it of been the same footprint of the woman who’s body I seemed to be suck in during my dreams? Or could it of been someone else entirely? The wind from my open window got harsher for a second, I then heard a familiar soft thud on my floor. I turned my head, locking my eyes with his.

“What’s going on in that head of yours love?” Jasper asked

“Just thinking of something my dad said earlier...”

“What is it?”

“My dad said he found a bare human footprint down at Queets river today... He said it was heading east. Have you guys found anything yet?”

“No, we haven’t found anything, it’s starting to get frustrating. Have you had anymore dreams about those vampires?” 

“Nope... if it is them though, I have a feeling that print was just a trap to throw them off course.”

“I do too... hey, my family and I plan on playing baseball tomorrow, since Edward is inviting Bella... I thought you could come too.”

“Yes, I would love too, watching Emmett climb and crash into things is my favorite part of the game. That and all those tricks you do with the bat.”

“It’s a plan then, I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.” I pecked his lips before getting comfortable in my bed, I was still a human... I needed some sleep. I laid there, Jasper behind me holding close.

“Tomorrow is going to be a fun day.” I thought to myself, before drifting off to sleep.

[amchara]

Baby Group - Jessa / Herongraystairs Family ficlet

Tessa, Jem and Kit all take turns taking Mina to the local baby group in Devon. Pure fluff (okay, tiny bit of angst in Tessa's section but it's mostly fluff!)

Tessa paused as she finished buckling Mina into her sling. The building in front of her was unassuming, a low white wood-sided structure, covered by a green roof. There were children’s handprints and rainbow decorations taped to the windows. She could feel Mina’s tiny, reassuring weight in front of her, as her daughter wiggled and let out a couple of happy baaa baa da’s as Tessa jiggled her, trying to weigh up whether she really wanted to go in.

‘Newton Abbey Surestart Centre’ read the colourful sign beside the wide path, leading up to sliding doors.

A couple of other women walked past her, chatting and pushing buggies that looked more like mini-cars, given all the bells and whistles attached. They didn’t pay any attention to her and Mina.

“First time?” A voice came from behind her. Tessa turned and saw a young, red-haired woman, who was smiling at her as she wrestled a chubby baby with similar hair into a smaller buggy.

“Yes,” Tessa said, and remembering her manners, gestured to herself and to a now-quiet Mina, who was taking it all in with wide, dark eyes. “I’m Tessa Carstairs and this is Mina.”

“Gemma Sampson and this is Charlee,” said the other woman cheerfully. “You have the right way of doing it,” she continued, pointing to Tessa’s sling. “I don’t know why I bother with all this baby shit,” she said, rolling her brown eyes and crinkling up her nose, as she pointed to her overflowing baby bag and packed buggy.

“I- uh, I tend to travel light,” Tessa said, but internally she cursed. Should she have brought more? Maybe she should go grab the extra nappy and wipes out of the backseat, just to show she was prepared? Mina was usually happy just observing the world, rather than being occupied by toys and Tessa was still breastfeeding her so they usually travelled with minimal supplies.

But Tessa had not done the baby thing in over a hundred years and she didn’t want to draw attention to herself. She wondered again, if this had been the best idea- but Jem had suggested if they were settling in at Cirenworth long-term they should probably try to integrate themselves into the community. Especially as they no longer had the monumental task of finding the lost Herondale, and they wanted to encourage Kit to find his own friends. It would be best to take their own advice, Jem had suggested, a small laugh erupting from him as Tessa had asked if he was about to join the local cricket team or the small village choir. “The choir, probably-” Jem had said, winking at her. “But maybe the local woodworking shop too.”

Gemma slid around Tessa with her buggy and gave a friendly nod. “Come on, love- they only let us in for the hour and then they kick us out. You want to get your money’s worth.”

“Isn’t it free?” Tessa muttered under her breath but she followed Gemma in, giving her name and Mina’s to the bored teenager at the door.

“She’s gorgeous,” the health visitor - who Tessa had been told was also a nurse - looked admiringly at Mina. Tessa relaxed fractionally. “Thank you. She takes after her dad,” she said, the smile growing on her face. Mina gurgled curiously and reached out for the rattle that the woman was holding out. She shook it happily.

“Is she your first?” the nurse asked, casually.

Tessa froze. She took a deep breath.

“No. I had two other children. James and Lucie. They… they’re not around,” she said and hated how her voice shook faintly. Normally it didn’t sting this much, the thought of her precious James and bubbly Lucie. But in this homely, warm place with the babble of babies’ voices and happy, smiling parents watching them, it hit her unexpectedly.

Tessa could see the nurse’s eyes sharply assess Tessa, taking in her youthful face but also, Tessa hoped, her smart denim skirt, yellow flowered collared shirt and the image that Tessa wanted her to see. “I see,” she said but noting the look on Tessa’s face she didn’t ask any further questions. She wrote some scribbles down on her pad, smiling politely and told Tessa to enjoy the centre.

As she walked away, Tessa cast a small spell to dislodge the note, which dropped to the floor beside her and Mina. She read: ‘children? x2 possible dec. or child servs?’ and her stomach dropped as she crumpled it in her hand. She followed up and cast a quick memory spell on the woman to also make her forget the last two minutes of their conversation. Maybe this had been a mistake… she thought, and when she looked up again, she could see Gemma had settled beside her and Mina, Charlee shaking a plastic tambourine in Gemma’s arms..

“They’re old busybodies,” Gemma announced, jerking her head at the health visitor. Tessa smiled wryly. The woman was maybe thirty at most.

“But also- you don’t have to engage with them to use the centre,” she said frankly. “It’s not a requirement.” She looked directly at Tessa and her look softened. “I’m sorry about your children though- it must be tough to be a warlock and have to watch them grow old.”

Tessa thought she was good at schooling her face to remain neutral, after so many years but Gemma just let out a small laugh and she let her eyes flash amber briefly. And Tessa relaxed, realising Gemma was a werewolf.

“We have a small group of Downworlders here at baby group,” Gemma said and she pointed to a small group off to the side. “Mostly werewolves, a couple Sighted women and one half-nixie. But we’ve never had a warlock before,” she said, her voice hopeful.

“Sounds delightful,” Tessa said, watching as Gemma’s smile widened. She picked up Mina, following her to the group.

--

“That’s it, clever Mina-mine,” Jem cooed, as Mina peeked her head out from the small, fabric enclosed tube that he had procured from the far corner. She smiled up at him, her cheeks squishing up into tiny peaks as she crawled further out. She rolled onto her back and then began chewing on her hands, tired from all the effort. Jem was so proud of her.

He looked around and was surprised at the large group of women and children that had gathered around him and Mina. It had been nearly empty in the baby area when he and Mina had arrived at the children’s centre, with only a couple other mums and babies around, likely due to the heavy rain they had had that morning, Jem mused.

But more must have showed up as he was playing with Mina and he hadn’t realised. Then Jem blushed and suddenly understood, as they all kept glancing over to him. “C’mon, Mina- we’re hogging the equipment! We need to let the other babies have a turn. Let’s go play with some other toys,” he said, lifting her up into his arms and made to move to another section of the room.

“Oh no- that’s fine,” said one woman, bouncing her baby on her knee, smiling at Jem. “We don’t mind waiting our turn.”

“She can play with these.” Another woman waved a couple of colourful scarves at him.

“Or this.” Jem found a couple of jingly bell-trees thrust into his lap, and the dark-haired woman held out a couple more, smiling at him. “My baby is finished with them.”

“Oh- that’s very kind of you,” Jem said, awkwardly trying to balance them and Mina in his arms.

He caught sight of a familiar figure coming towards them, and he grinned, dropping the toys to the side. He held Mina up so she could see. “It’s Mama!”

Tessa smiled her lovely, radiant smile as she approached them. As if by magic, the other woman and babies melted away as she bent down to give Mina a kiss on her forehead and Jem a quick peck on the lips. “Hello, my two darlings!” she said, settling herself on the floor beside them. “Did you miss me?”

“Always,” Jem said.

--

“We’re full for the session,” the older woman in a rumpled sweater gave Kit a bored look and turned away, to continue to talk to her taller, younger colleague.

Kit blinked. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” the woman said dryly, bending her head down to write in a log.

“Fine,” Kit muttered. Mina babbled and Kit could swear that he could hear the disappointment in her tone. “It’s okay, Min-Min, we’ll do something better than stupid baby group,” he said, hefting her further up on his shoulder and prepared to leave.

But then suddenly she was overbalancing on him and Kit struggled to hold onto her as she surged forward.

“BA BA NA!” she shouted excitedly at the dark-skinned woman with long braids walking past. She paused and turned towards the noise and her smile was infectious as she took in Mina. “Mina Carstairs!”

Ten seconds later, they were through the doors, the older woman scowling as the director of the centre told her to let them in. “Don’t tell anyone but she’s one of my favourite babies,” the director told Kit conspiratorially.

“She’s one of my favourite babies too,” Kit said, stifling a smile. Mina was smiling contentedly, or almost smugly, Kit thought, in the woman’s arms.

“And of course, your parents are also brilliant,” the woman said, handing Mina back to him. “Say hello to them from Sonya.”

“I will,” Kit said, as they headed further into the centre.

He plopped her down on a couple of cushions and stretched out beside her, taking in the scene. Kit idly wondered if his dad had ever taken him to a centre like this when he was young, before immediately scoffing and dismissing the possibility.

It did look like baby heaven, he thought, as Mina started crawling over to a rainbow-coloured arch. He watched the other babies and parents around, noting that he was likely the youngest one there or… actually, maybe not, he thought, as he saw a nervous, thin girl in the corner, playing with one of the chubbiest babies he had ever seen.

“Stay away from that baby, Mins,” he said. “He looks like he eats other babies for breakfast.” He looked down.

“I swear we’ve gone over this - we don’t eat socks,” Kit told her, an exasperated but fond manner. He grabbed a tiny bag out of his pocket and shook it at her. “I have much tastier snacks here.” He watched as Mina took her purple socked-toes out of her mouth and gestured in a familiar way. Kit handed her a couple of tiny baby puffs.

“No snacks on the play floor,” said the same, grumpy monitor as she walked past.

Kit rolled his eyes but put the bag away.

Kit didn’t rise to the bait when five minutes later she told him that he was being too loud with the xylophone.

He gritted his teeth when she snatched away the blocks that he had been planning to get Mina, informing him that it was almost the end of session and she was starting to tidy up.

And during the group singing time at the end of the session, when she told him to stop mumbling the words to the stupid nursery rhymes, Kit decided it had gotten personal.

“Oh, sorry,” Kit gave an angelic smile as he stepped away from the woman. She scowled at him, and turned away to button her coat up, her purse swinging in the air, unzipped.

Kit waited until they were out of the centre before looking down at his spoils. Sweet, he thought. A Cadbury’s Crunchie bar and two Twirls.

He shifted Mina in his arms, to one shoulder and holding the chocolate bar in the other hand, ripped off the wrapper of the Crunchie with his teeth.

“Don’t tell Mom and Dad,” he told Mina, after swallowing several bites.

She smiled placidly and reached for the Crunchie. “Not yet- in a couple of years,” Kit said. But then he reconsidered, and let her have a short gum at the stub. She giggled and burrowed her chocolate-smeared face into his shirt.

And then they got on the bus back to the village, heading back to Cirenworth.

(I don't know who to tag in my Herongraystairs family fics? @dontmindmyshadowhunting @sandersgrey @foxglove-airmid maybe? This is definitely the start of Kit bringing Mina into the pickpocketing life

Let me know if anyone else wants to be added in!

Previous Herongraystairs family fics:

Days Like These (day at the beach)