#newt's getting personnal

[brisemolaire]

I personnally have a stronger connection with Tina than Newt. Don't get me wrong, I love Newt. He's a unique main character and we need more "different" people like him.

But Tina... well I fell for her even harder. Maybe because I see more myself in her and mostly because people tend to ghost these kind of character. I hate that, so I love them even more. Characters like Tina deserve more. They are loyal, extremely kind, courageous, yet a bit insecure, introverted but have so much to give, so selflessly...

So yes, I love Tina individually. But I know that I am blessed because I love her relationship too, I love the fact that Newt loves her the way she is (just like us actually), loves her like she needs to be. Newt is a Tina shipper. He is a good person too, I'm happy that they chose each other. I find that beautiful.

I understand the feeling in the previous post but I'm almost sure that most Newtina fans I follow (here and on Twitter) can see her value out of the relationship.

Maybe you are talking about "only Newt" fans ? Lots of them are in the HP community. They like Newt but barely tolerate Tina or ignore her at best. Some of them tolerate Newtina just for the sake of Newt's happiness. These are more toxic fans IMO but I never really had this feeling in the hardcore Newtina shipper community. If you really are into Newtina, you love them both (even if you have a preference).

I don't know if it was clear ? Writing is not my best way to communicate (especially in English)... Let's continue to enjoy these amazing characters, post about them and give them the visibility they deserve !

do i even have to say it. do i.

[newt--x]

I spent an amazing day.

I was outside all day (5h30 in a row so... it counts), I was chilling with Remus & her bf (I actually like him despite being slightly jealous, he's hilarious) but also with all the friends that Remus wanted to bring (Isa, Ewen, Nola, Mig) and I was really happy to meet them because they were really nice and funny as hell. I hope they're gonna see me as a friend fozjxl

Quick reminder of everyone lmao

Remus - 15, cis girl, pansexual, polyamorous, and (my main) squish. Dating O, and is my best friend. We met when I started going to my new school; according to her, she saw something in my eyes and felt like she needed to talk to me. I'm glad she did. She's the first (lasting) irl friend I've had since 5th grade (we're in 9th grade for info).

O - 14, cis boy, bisexual, is a good friend of mine. We met by default; Remus was hanging out with me a lot and since she also did that with him, we started talking. I encouraged them to start dating because it was obvious they liked each other. Sometimes we go to his flat and I always steal coffee because I can and it's okay with him. The only punk I know who doesn't only wear black.

Raph - 14?, cis boy, ????? actually no one knows his sexuality ngl, we're friends. Same thing than with O, but we don't talk that much now because he lives kinda far away (he goes to our school because it's the closest, despite being an hour away gozjfl) and we can't meet. Outside of it, we're pretty much cool with each other. He wasn't with us today but I wanted to include him anyway. He has a nipple pocket.

Isa - 15, cis girl, ????? (I think she's pan?), I met her today. She met Remus at the psych ward and she's really, really pretty. She's really cool and she told me she loved my hair so it made me really happy eheh. A true punk; she dyes her hair as much as I do.

Ewen - 16, trans boy (!!!! trans friend!!!!), I believe he's pan but I might be wrong. I met him today but we already texted a few times because Remus wanted us to talk. Apparently, both of them thought he and I wouldn't get along, but turns out we joke a lot and flirt even more. Literally everyone that was with us today wants, I quote, 《 [us] to fuck already oh my god just get a room please 》. Possible squish, he's really cute but also very very tall. Like, I barely get to his shoulders fosbflsfkl. Even standing up on my toes, I'm still shorter. He's definitly emo and he can fight me about it.

Nola - 16, cis girl, ???? bi or pan I think?, we met today too. We actually took a few hours to talk more than "Wow amazing hair folk" but we ended up opening up and bounding on our emotionnally, psychologically and sometimes physically abusive mothers. She's really funny and hella punk too. Turns out both of our moms are also pretty much neglecting us, medically and emotionnally. She's also a big mood. She's dating Mig.

Mig - 15, cis boy, ??????, met him today. We haven't talked that much to be honest, but he's funny and also laughs at my jokes a lot when he hears me. Looks like a 《 racaille 》 but isn't actually one. We mostly bounded on having a family member in jail for drug dealing (my uncle and his brother). Dating Nola.

They're the people I know the most, I actually don't know a lot about Cha' and the others but yeah. I'm kind of surprised; when I say I didn't have any friend since 5th grade, I'm serious. From kindergarten to 5th grade, I only had one friend (M), and after that it was just me and me. It's weird to know so many people now, especially when they actually show interest in me and reach out when they're not feeling okay while also listening to me. It makes me really happy.

Today, I'm happy.

[thegoodomensdumpster]

ABOUT SHADWELL AND TRACY

OK so. This is probably going to be the meta nobody asked for + the meta that has already existed for 30 years ( I read a bunch of it before the show came out, but I never found one tackling what I’m going to talk about, so chances are it exists but I missed it and now it’ll be impossible to find ). I’ve been wondering, a lot, how exactly the relationship between Tracy and Shadwell was narratively useful. (Especially Shadwell, what is up with Shadwell, really??? Why did he have to be ... the way he is???) Don’t get me wrong : I know perfectly well how nearly everything / everyone in Good Omens mirrors something / someone else. The Four Horsepersons / The Them obviously, a perfect mirror of humanity’s problems (self made be it for Death ) and how to fix them ( with hope, courage, love, and proper education for newest generations who are dealing with passed mistakes… )

And then all the duos echo each other and act as informations about every character . Crowley / Aziraphale Newt / Anathema Tracy / Shadwell So I had the nagging suspicion that Tracy and Shadwell would, perhaps, make more sense to me if I started comparing them to each other and to their counterparts.

After all, that’s how me (and dozens other meta writers) have managed to understand Newt and Anathema.

Newt is reasonable and rationnal, and he is also free and questionning. Anathema has lived a life devoided of surprises, all according to the Great Plan prophecies of a long dead ancestor she can not directly talk to.

Newt and Anathema get together because of the prophecies, but STAY together because they chose to, and Newt is the one to bring that choice to Anathema. Do I need to say which of them echoes Crowley and which of them echoes Aziraphale ? What about Shadwell and Tracy then ?

Welp. Let’s dissect them, shall we ?

Madame Tracy is, arguably, the most formidable character of the lot. OK, I may be a bit bias, I adore the woman. But with good reasons !

Deep down, she’s got one of the – if not the – strongest moral compass of the whole characters cast. She has confidence in her morals and ethics enough to trust a supernatural entity who just invaded her body( after being rightfully offended and scolding him a little ) AND to then go against said entity, an angel of the Lord, when he’s about to do something reprehensible. 

Badass. But on the surface, what is she ? She’s a marginal, a prostitute, a con artist (something that I’m not entirely happy about as I find it morally reprehensible, but it is very likely she pretends to be a medium to be some sort of cheap psychiatrist to people who can’t afford it so… I’ll allow it. But anyway, it is also important that she’s not a parangon of pure unaltered virtue, so this makes sense). She is all the things Shadwell says she is, and in his mouth ( as well as in the eyes of society) they are insults. Worse : she exudes femininity, she is comfortable in her sexuality, she’s a businesswoman, she’s self-sufficent and financially independant (she’s even the one who gives money to Shadwell…). None of this is bad, but most of it is (or, hopefully, was) regarded as bad.

Ok, we got Tracy figured out. Let’s try to understand Shadwell now. Shadwell… Is also a marginal, in a way (he has been to prison, after all, if we include TV Omens canon). But he’s another kind of marginal.

He is not financially independant (again, see : asking money to Tracy, and also, scamming Crowley and Aziraphale for years, which is a way bigger and morally reprehensible con than whatever Tracy is doing with her fake medium act. But tbh, I’m so impressed he scammed not one, but two supernatural entities for funding the same useless organization, I can’t be mad at him. Not for that, I mean.) He isn’t nice, he isn’t polite, he … seems to be everything Tracy isn’t. And, as Tracy is a beacon of light and kindness, it makes sense Shadwell would be a rude blackhole of hatred. But, more than being a lightsucker, Shadwell’s opposition to Tracy makes sense if we shift the way we look at them. Tracy is what society deems morally reprehensible but she isn’t immoral, and more than that, she is very modern. Confident in herself. Taking her fate into her own hands. Turned towards the future.

Meanwhile, Shadwell is entirely turned towards the past, so much so that his traditionnalism is too much by present’s standards, and that is the bit that makes him the most marginal. He wears his sexism and his homophobia as badges of honor, and runs A WITCHFINDER ARMY. A very definitely outdated organization that has for goal : BURNING WITCHES. And gays, too, but mainly witches. This is an activity that was once considered ethical, necessary, ultimately good, but isn’t anymore. Heaven approved of the Witchfinders’ Army on these « morally good » premisses, and Hell approved of it on the cruelty and horror it was actually responsible for. Society has moved on. Shadwell hasn’t. At least in surface . Because, just like Madame Tracy’s activities as a prostitute and self-made woman can raise eyebrows but ultimately don’t define her as a moral person, Shadwell… hnnngh, this is more difficutl to say this about him, but when time comes for him to act on his rotten outdated thrown in our face moral principles, he is actually siding with Tracy. He protects her, he refuses to shoot Adam, he chooses to do what he finds to be morally good, and he and Tracy share the same morals. 

(Also the one time Shadwell thinks he has killed someone he is genuinely shocked, so he is far from being a cold blooded killer. Only when he wants to protect Tracy or prevent Armageddon - and after Aziraphale has shown he isn’t really dead - does he threateningly raise his finger again. ) ((But homophobia and sexism aren’t a good look on him. Or on anyone else, for that matter. It’s not charming. Tracy, why were you charmed ???? WHY ???? ))

And we can only suppose that Tracy, beacon of light that she is, able to see the best even in the scum of the Earth, already knew that Shadwell and her agreed about what was ultimately important. They’ve had, possibly, years of interactions before the plot of GO kicks in, and maybe Shadwell hasn’t been so consistently horrible all this time and showed her a better side ? I hope ??? But, anyway, the thing is : these characters, Tracy and Shadwell, are made to mirror some of the best and worst things coming out of humanity. Tracy being kinda the worst possible carreer and personnal choice for religious bigots, and Shadwell being so deep into bigotry that it made him terrible even by bigots’ standards. Shadwell’s speech would have made him a hero a few centuries ago, now he’s just a lunatic. Tracy would have been burnt at the stake for her life choices. Now she’s… well, not in danger, at the very least, and besides Shadwell, all the GO characters seem to respect her. ( Or fear her, as is the case for Newt. ) ((I’m joking, I think he likes her, but confident people intimidate him.)) So. We’ve got Tracy who has built herself her own moral compass and is confident in the choices she made despite the hostility and difficulties she may have encountered, and Shadwell who lives according to a bunch of bigotted outdated rules he doesn’t actually believe in all that much. HA. Why does that ring a bell, I wonder… For the sake of not letting any ounce of ambiguity floating in the air, I’m going to spell it out :

Shadwell and the Witchfinders’ rules echo Anathema and her prophecies, and Aziraphale and Heaven’s indoctrination. Meanwhile, Tracy echoes Newt and Crowley for their marginality and self-made moral code (ok it’s less obvious for Newt especially if you haven’t read the book but he is the kind to question stuff constantly, to the point he hesitates a lot and has troubles finding his place in the world, but his – tiny - character arc is that he becomes able to question correctly and make decisions and help others make decisions).

The interesting thing is, in a way, Shadwell embodies the worst surface aspect of being a bigot blindly obeying outdated rules, while Tracy is the best possible outcome of a marginal making a life for themself. Newt and Anathema place somewhere in the middle, Anathema being able to let go of the thing that was ruling her life, and Newt is in the process of learning who he is, getting comfortable with that person and finding a place for himself in the world.

As for Crowley and Aziraphale, their long lives has thrown them in morally grey areas for a looong time, but at the end of GO, once freed from Heaven and Hell -but especially Heaven as Aziraphale has the most work to do to also get rid off his endoctrination completely- they are free to join Tracy, Shadwell, Newt and Anathema into finally becoming the most blooming versions of themselves. It is not too late, no matter how dark or how far back they’re coming from.

But !!! I am not entirely done.

The sword. And the gun. Both weapon given - more or less – to humanity by Aziraphale. The flaming sword, given at the very beginning to Adam and Eve hoping they’d use it to protect themselves, and that ends up in the hands of War. The thundergun, not given but required by Aziraphale to be put to use, right as the Armageddon is about to put an end to humanity, and to be used, this time, to kill someone. And, as I mentionned, both Shadwell and Tracy refuse to shoot.

Aziraphale cannot make humanity obey him, now can he ? Because that’s what it is, ultimately. Humanity. And, as always, free will. Because Tracy and Shadwell represent certain extremes and a lot of grey areas of humanity’s morals and diversity of personnalities, they are -almost- perfect ambassadors of humanity as a whole. Good and Evil bear no meaning around them, they refuse to fit neatly into any category, especially when scrutinized through the lenses of different places and eras as ethics shift constantely. Shadwell shows that even garbage trash men can show empathy, Tracy is the most merciful and kind person, which doesn’t prevent her from being surprisingly strong and adamant when needed. Shadwell and Tracy are part of each other’s life, against all odds, and even if it might have been just because they were neighbours at first, they ultimately chose to remain together. All duos chose to stick to their counterpart in the end. All of them represent the many contradictions of humanity, and how love is the ultimate way to live along together. And they use their free will for love. And while I would not, ever, EVER want to interact with a Shadwell IRL, I now see why it was important to make him the way he is depicted. From a narrative point of view, it was important to make him seemingly irreedemable, only for the one character he harrasses the most to trust and love him, because Tracy knows he, actually, isn’t as bad as it may seem. Because people who might seem horrible are not necessarily the ones who are. Because even Shadwell can love and be loved. And because everybody can improve.

Now, I do not know why the sexism and the homophobia had to be the main choices to convey how much of a bigotted idiot Shadwell was (No, I mean, I think I know why: probably because killing witches and gays were the Witchfinders’ Army main goals, but still, it’s tough on modern audiences - whether this should be taken into account by authors is... quite a debate to have, and maybe the main reason it bothers me? idk idk, I’ve already thought too much at this point). Because despite the fact that some of his lines and his excellent actor made him nice to see on screen (or read in the book for that matter), I have a very hard time liking his character. But that might be the point. I don’t know. Only Tracy can love him. But at least now, it makes more sense to me.

[nemesisadraste]

Good Omens : What if Shadwell had never enter the bookshop that day?

This is a little OS fanfic im which Shadwell has accepted Madame Tracy's money and even went to Newt rescue with her. Therephore, he never went to Aziraphale bookshop resulting his entrance in the portal and the fire. So how does thing goes in this setting?

Aziraphale had just tells the Metatron he was on his way and called Crowley. He was really suprise about how Crowley ended the call saying "Not a good time I have a friend over." ... What did that mean? Why would he had friends over at a time like this when the world was ending in a few hours and he had planned to go to Alpha Century?... Were they really a friend? Was it a way to tell him he wasn't his friend anymore after the bandstand fight and his multiple refusal to go off with him? Was he in danger?... All those questions were running around his head and he needed an awnser... The only way to have them is to go check himself.

So he tooks Agnes book and he was on his way... But just as he was opening the door he reminds of the portal... It was still open. The angel couldn't possibly leave it that way unsupervise it could be dangerous. The only way for it to close was that someone or something with enough power went inside it and as there was no way he ever goes back to Heaven, he add to think of something else... Something like... Yes exactly this!

He took a piece of old paper and write something on it with an as old ink. Then he trows the paper in the portal. The energy of the portal shatter it in thousend of pieces but the message on it rest intact and arrive perfectly at it's destination :

Count me out.

Three little words. Probably he scariest he had ever write but it was a relief to finally express them. He was now on his own but that didn't matter. Cause for the first time he was free and for the first time he aknowledge he wasn't alone. Well... If Crowley could forgive him this time.

A few minutes later he was at the Demon's flat and he catch him on his way out. He didn't had the time to knock that the door opened to revels a familiar face

Crowley : Angel!

Aziraphale : Hello dear! Everything is allright? our last call was a bit strange to me... Hope I'm not actually disrupting a friends reunion...

Crowley : Oh that? No don't worry it was just Ligur and Hastur being their usual assholes selves I took care of them.

Aziraphale : What?! Hell sended them to get you?! Did they hurt you?! Hownyou allright?!

Crowley : Relax Angel everything is just fine. Ligur got a taste of the Holy water you gave me in 1967 and Hastur is having a blast in my message recorder tape.

Aziraphale : Oh... Ok... anyway I wanted to apologies, I lied to you about the Antechrist, I know where it is and it was so foolish of me cause you were absolutly there is no one to reach out to up there. She didn't even take my call I only had the Metatron and he is as pro armageddon than all the others Archangels, nothing else never mattered to them, not the humans, nor the earth, nor anything else in the whole creation... Nor even me, but thats not really a shocker.

Crowley : I'm sorry to hear that. All of that really matter to me though youvknow that right?

Aziraphale : Really? Even me? After all I did to you?

Crowley : Espetially you angel. You have nothing to apologise for I swear. In fact I'm the one who own you an apologie. I should have been more comprehensive of what you were getting trough... I putted you in probably the biggest loyalty conflict ever and then harass you to choose me and give up when I know how much this world mean to you... You're a guardian afterall... Very sorry for that.

Aziraphale : Well everything is tickety-boo now! After my chat with the Metatron I message Heaven to count me out so there is no conflict anymore. In fact I think that in my heart there never was. (He smile after the last line. It is the sweetest, the purest and the quickest smile to ever exist).

There is a pause after that as they both need to fully realise was that mean. What this whole conversation means.

Crowley : Does that mean you changed your mind for Alpha Century?

Aziraphale : Well no. At least not before we try something to stop all that!

Crowley : Ok... What do you suggest? He got his full powers now he won't be that easy to stop.

Aziraphale : I know someone who might have just what we need.

Crowley : Really who?

Aziraphale : Sergent Shadwell, he is the commander of the humans I told you about the...

Crowley : The witchfinder army?

Aziraphale : Yes you know them?

Crowley : Well yeah those are my guys too!

Aziraphale : Seriously?! What an odd coïncidence... Anyway let go see him. We have to be quick tough if we wanna be able to get out of London.

Crowley : What do you mean?

Aziraphale take Agnes book and opens it to prophecy 4781 and show it to Crowley. The prophecy says :

Prophecy 4781 On the final day when the home of the Big Ben will be 3 hours late of their noon appointements, a ring of evil fire will trap the old smoke in it's center. Thou can all thank the snake for that (ok the last sentence I'm not sure Agnes would actually write that I just wanted to add it for the fun lol 🤣)

Crowley : Shit, shit, shit I had totally forgot about the M25 thing... Shit!

Aziraphale : Well no time to stop this part now so we gotta hurry. We only have half an hour to go search for a weapon and go out of London.

Crowley : A weapon you mean...

Aziraphale : Exactly. We don't have other options now. Not if he decide to go on with it.

Crowley : Ok.

Aziraphale : What?

Crowley : Nothing I'm just suprise this comes from you.

Aziraphale : Yeah me too.

They take the Bentley (of curse) and go too Shadwell apartment but find it empty of it's occupant. They enter regardless (no time to wait) and take the weapon (the same they tok on the show I don't remember the name). When they are out they only got 10 minutes left before the M25 cast in fire so Aziraphale doesn't mind Crowley speed at all. He does miracle the Bentley to be gost like so he doesn't hit anything on the way. Crowley finds it funny and take advantage of it to show his angel how fast the Bentley can really go and he is extremly happy about it. When they finnaly go out he break as a reflex after all the adrenaline and thats when the fire rings light up. Crowley looks back and say :

Crowley : Wow... It worked! Shit... You imagine being stuck in this like an idiot? 🤣🤣🤣

Crowley starts driving again and they arrive in Taddefield american airbase in advance for Armageddon despite having to ask directions to a nice old man. The Horsepeople are already there, but not the Them. Not the Antechrist.

Aziraphale was going to talk to the security guard who was waithing for their explanations when suddently the Bentley cast in fire and explode to ashes and everyone turns to look at the pile of burning metals.

Crowley : MY CAR!!!!!... 90 years without a single crash and now this!!! How?! What?! Who?!

An evil form gets out of the shadow smiling better than it never had. With it's hidious dark grey-green raincoat and a literraly frog on his head he was immediatly recognisable.

Crowley : Hastur. How was your time in my message tape?

Hastur : Not fun. But not as not fun as will be the rest of your existance. (He add this while smiling even better, eviler) Hell will...

Security guard (shacking, affraid and unconfident just like in the show) : Ok all of you stay right where you are and put your hands in the air! I will call backups and they'll take care of you! In the mean time if you dare move I swear I'll shoot you! Starting by you red hair guy with the explosive car!

Hastur had no time for humans bullshit and cast the human to a painfull instant combustion in the horrored eyes of the angel and the other demon. The frog then return to the matter that had him here to begin with.

Hastur : I hate to be interrupted... Now where was I... Oh yeah! Hell will not forgive, Hell will not forget and you know it Crawly. The great war and our victory won't clear your record. From now on the only being to interact with you will be me and trust me it won't be the pleasent kind of interractions for you I'll make sure of that.

Crowley : Oh I trust you on that all right... Come get me then.

He had said that provocativly and was now slowly stepping back has Hastur was slowly stepping foward, his eyes lock with his preys'' waiting for the moment to strike. Aziraphale was between them and he steps in the way to block Hastur's path.

Hastur : Stay out of this sunshine this is an Hellish matter. Your time will come soon enough.

Aziraphale : Is it really? An Hellish matter Inkean cause I am very suprise that your boss sended two of their dukes to catch a renegate so close to armageddon... Aren't you suppose to get your plattons ready for the fight right now?

Hastur : Well,... Yes but Michaël called Ligur to tell us about Crowley not being trustworthy and we never liked the guy so we took the initiative to go catch him before he do more damage. It was a buissness initiative but now he destroyed Ligur wih Holy water right in front of me, trap me in his stupid machine and nownI'm seeing him with you, an angel! So this is personnal.

Aziraphale : A secret personnal initiative?... Oh dear.. I don't know how things work down there but if an angel had did that kind of initiative so close to armageddon they would be in a lot of trouble... Espetially if that said initiative had cause the lost of one of their greatest warrior... I don't think they could ever leave that unpunished... But if Hell is cool with that...

Hastur (laughing badly) : You think you can scare me that way? 🤣 I'm not stupid! Inknow hownHell work sweetie. And the is that if I don't even get this traitor snake back as an apologie present that things will be bad for me. So good try, but now move!

Aziraphale : Or what?

Hastur cast a fireball in his hand and show it to the angel as a reminder : What he did to the human, he could do it to the angel.

Aziraphale : Oh please, thats all you got?

Aziraphale open his wings and "power up" (hope I am clear here 😅) resulting in the extinction of Hastur Fireball. This time it was Hastur who back away as Aziraphale step foward.

Aziraphale : My previous logic wasn't scary enough, ok... How about this one : (his voice was deeper, stronger, but always stays clam) If you back in Hell right now without Crowley and take your position as you should have never leave it to begin with, you migth not be that badly hurt. I mean Before Heaven cruchs you all of curse. Am I clear?

Hastur (Terrified but tried to hide it) : I guess this can wait after the war... I'll go now but Crowley, don't think it mean you'll get out of it cause when we'll won, you'll see that the Universe is not that big compare to the eternity I'll have to find you treat you has you deserve!

On those enlighting words, Hastur sink down to Hell and Aziraphale release a relief breath. Not that he had been scare of Hastur, no. He was releave that he didn't had to actually hurt him for him to go. He hated display of violence and would never do any unless extreme necessity.

Crowley (he had run to his angel sides) : Angel you're allright?

Aziraphale : Of curse dear. I'm a Principality and he a Duke of Hell. In a one/one combat based on brut power he didn't stand a chance against me. He is not stupid he knows it too thats why he left when he saw he couldn't scare me.

Crowley : Sure thing. He's right though, I can't get out of it... If your lot win they gonna chase me down cause they want to destroy all demons, if we stop armageddon for happening Hastur and probably other demons will also chase me down to punish me and if my lot win, they will alo chase you for being an angel. There is no alternative where I'm left alone.

Aziraphale : Yes thats true. But either way I'll be with you. We'll be together. I won't let you alone in this. And I know you won't leave me alone either. So let go in there and see how things turns out cause I'm extremly tire to play "guess what will happen if..." all the time.

Crowley : Angel... Sorry but I can't help it...

Crowley rushs into Aziraphales' arms and hug him for the first time ever. Aziraphale was shock for a second but then he took his wings that was still out and cover his dearest demon in it as a shelter and a promise : He will always be there for him.

The hug was interrupted by the arrival of the Them who enter in the airbase. After that everything that happened is exactly as the show... Or is it?

[paintingraves]

meant to be

AU idea :

Our dear Mr. Graves is a wedding planner. His new clients are a young couple, Mr. Scamander and a Miss Goldstein, soon-to-become Mrs. Scamander. 

Mr. Scamander (”Please, call me Newt”) always seems a bit distracted, and sheepish, like he’s done something wrong. Tina Goldstein is shy in front of Mr. Graves, but once he’s put them at ease she proves to be a very strong minded person, much more energetic and straight forward than Newt. Somehow, the two of them fit well together. Tina softens when she’s with Newt, and Newt lightens up and pays more attention to his surroundings.

Graves talks them through the process : what questions he’ll have to ask to get an insight into what they want, what he’ll be taking care of, when their input will be asked for, how long and how often they’ll be seeing him until the wedding, etc. They get into it right away. Graves learns how they met (turns out Tina arrested Newt for breaking the law), how they ended up solving a case together and how they fell for each other in the process. How they then kept a long distance relationship for a while before seeing each other again, and how Tina finally proposed, fives years after they met, three after they moved in together in New York. Graves likes their story - it’s more unusual than most couples - and decides he’ll do his job perfectly for them. 

He always does, but this time he finds himself weirdly invested in it.

They see each other quite often, at least once a week, and if they can’t, they call. Newt and Tina seem very at ease with him, and so does he. Conversations about the wedding turn into casual conversations about daily life without Graves even noticing it.

Fast forward a few months and our dear Percival Graves comes to the realisation that he might have a crush on one, or both (depending on who you ship) of his clients. I love Goldgramander, so we’re gonna go with both of them. (If he’d just fallen for Newt, or Tina, and it was reciprocated, I feel like the story would be angsty, and we don’t need angst.) 

So. Graves comes to the realization that he likes Newt and Tina much more than he should, and that at some point, the professionnal boundaries have begun to blur on both sides. He knows Newt doesn’t get along with his brother, he knows the names of their four cats and two dogs, he knows Tina got demoted at some point, knows that according to Newt sometimes she snores and it’s adorable, and so on and so forth. Much more intimate details than he should ever know. And he can’t help but visualize it, visualize them, in the intimacy of their home, and how he’d fit in there if he could. 

So he flirts. He can’t help it. And shockingly - they flirt back. Well, at least he thinks they do. Tina certainly does. With Newt it’s hard to tell - he once said Percival’s eyes were like those of a salamander’s, was that flirting? - but Percival thinks he might be. It’s fun. It makes Percival all flustered when they do it. 

But the wedding is fast approaching. Percival knows he’ll have to let them go, no matter how fond of them he feels. Then they invite him to the wedding. He refuses. That’s way too much. He’s supposed to fade in the background now. His role is done. 

So for a while he does. The wedding goes perfectly. He knows because a couple weeks later he gets an email, from Newt and Tina, with attached pictures of their marriage. They look very good together, and incredibly happy. His heartache renewed, Graves sends back a perfunctory congratulations email and says he’s glad they were satisfied with his services. 

And then maybe, just maybe, they reply back and say they’d like to invite him to dinner as a more personnal thank you. 

Or maybe, just maybe, straightforward and daring Tina comes see him at work one day and asks him out. Says Newt agrees, says they both discussed and found they really liked him, say he’s free to refuse, etc. And Graves is shocked at first, but then - very very happy. He accepts the invitation. They end up having dinner at his house, where he admits that he has liked them for a while too, but well - it was complicated. They were gonna get married, and he’s an old man, and -- 

It’s at this point that one of them kisses him, he’s not sure which, maybe both, oh that’s Newt, so the one coming up behind him must be Tina, and oooh, oh, oh dear. The wine makes his head swim. Or maybe it’s the kisses. Tina’s lipstick is smudged. Newt is making bedroom eyes at him. 

Uh. Maybe this could work after all. 

(and that’s the story of how a lonely, middle aged handsome wedding planner fell for the couple he was working for, and how they all ended up happy together. the end.) 

[ghostlybearmilkshake]

So I saw fantastic beast 2 today and I need to ramble about so spoilers under the cut

So first of all I came in there really worried but I had a really good time now in no particular order: 

I really like the abundance of spells in fantastic beasts, this oe included especially since in this one they gave the incatation for a lot of them whcih I really like

I also like the idea of maledicus which is very reminiscent of werewolf and gives a nice contrast to animagi

despite all the discource around nagini I actually like her. she had a few good lines, the best being "he knows where you came from not who you are" even though she lacks personnality due to her very short screen time. Also I don't mind her being asian: sure it doesn't solve HP's representation problems but it doesn't hurt either. now the question is: did we need an explenation for nagini's origin ? not really but hey she fits pretty well in the story for the little time she's shown (as little as credence actually)

Leta Lestrange love her ++ finally good slytherin rep

Queenie. I love her but also wtf. her switching size for the reason shown is interesting because it shows why grindelwalds caters to so many people he does not only catters only to pride fear and hatred but also to good emotions like love, loyalty, comraderie. but girl your relationship with jacob has major absolutely unrelated problem. a love charm ?!?! the only person we know who uses it successfullyin the saga is Voldemort's mother (what's-her-name who tried to use it on harry missed her target) and I got a feeling she's not gonna get confronted for that nor for her legelimancy which, yes, is to some extent spotaneous but also seems sometimes really intrusive in their relationship. it's a good thing it's not a trilogy because you're gonna need more than one movie to fix it

salamanders, v cute

"mr scamander you should take your shirt off" my gay ass: "YEAH YOU SHOULD" also I didn't know it but a guy riding a water dragon is actually really hot

I liked seeing nicholas flammel and the philosopher stone

seing Hogwarts with this music still gives me fucking chills

showing non maggie smith!mcgonagall only from the furthest away and as little as possible is not a bold choice but it's a smart one

Dumbledore's clean cut boring black suit really doesn't sit well with me. capes are an institution amongst british wizards and dumbledore's fashion sense is considered tacky even for wizards so I don't care if it's so make him seems sexier get this fucking CEO look off of him

the black cats with white eyes are just as ugly as I thouht they would but they appear in only one short scene so it's ok

I like the mentionned bound between Dumbledore and Grindelwald:: the Erised mirror scene where they entertwine fingers, the "we were closer than brothers" it's really nice it shows Dumbledore really cared for Grindelwald which is why

I don't like the blood pact. First it looks a little like an off brand Unbreakable Vow but most of all it's not necessary. Dumbledore didn't need a magical pact to prevent him from attackinbg Grindelwald his feelings towardsr him would have been enough and it would have gave great moments when Dumbledore has to muster the courage (griffindor) to face him and stop him despite their history. If anything the blood pact takes away some of these feeling's sincerity and strength

I really like Theseus and Newt's final hug it was very touching

so we go even deeper into "the ministry is just as bad as the dark mages" which I like

On that note they're really eager to use the killig curse wtf. this girl barely pull out her wand and his first reaction is Avada Kedavra ?!

also liked the anti-populist message nice contrast between voldemort's open call for violence and Grindelwald's manipulation of fear and of The Other

I really liked seing Paris magical world (allons enfants de la patriiiiie!) also "I can't tell if you are joking or if you're just being french"

johnny depp turned out to be pretty good as a grindelwald. could he have been another actor ? yes. do I like his design ? no. but still.

The final twist was SUCH BULLSHIT !!! HIM BEING A DUMBLEDORE MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE! IT'S LIKE SHE CHOOSE THE WORST FAMILY POSSIBLE! WE HAVE A FUCKING GOOD TAB ON ALBUS' SIBLINGS ! HIM BEING A LESTRANGE WAS SO MUCH BETTER LETA AND CORVUS ARE ALREADY ESTABLISHED IN THE CANON ! THERE ARE A BUCH OF OTHER WELL KNOWN FAMILIE THE DESCENDANCE OF WHICH WE HAVE A MUCH SHIFTIER RECORD OF: LESTRANGE, BLACK, MALFOY, POTTER, PEVERELL, GAUNT AND! SO! ON! WHY A FRICKING DUMBLEDORE??? SO WE HAVE A FORCED FRATICIDE ?! COME ONE !!

it was nice to look at

[ohbluesky]

Oh God, yes. The whole situation with having to choose between two cars is so horrible though ? Especially considering that the second car had Aris and Sonya in it. Imagine if they actually picked MInho’s car, I wonder if they would’ve left the other immunes to WICKED ? :’0 (I’m actually torn about this, bc I like to think that nooo they would have tried to save everyone.... but would they ?) Glad that Newt would have this conversation with Thomas! Picking Minho’s car is really up to pure luck at this point but it’s so easy to blame yourself for things you have no control over, especially with such heavy consequences :’/ YES, THIS. The ‘Don’t lie to me’ scene is precisely why it ticks me off tbh. This, and just Newt’s overall personnality. (In the movieverse at least. He does snap at Thomas a few times in the books, but the circumstances were so different and it still was for his own and Thomas’ sake, consciously or not fghvgh)

Same honestly!! I love deep character analysis, and TMR gives so much room for that, I guess that’s why I like it so much hehe

Ah yes, delaying the Aris scene a lil bit to add in some angst, this is perfect, this is going to be so interesting! And yes 100% agree about Thomas being Newt’s hope! Not only because he trusts that Thomas will do his best to get everyone out to safety like he did since the beginning like a true leader but also because, speculating that he already has the flare and knows about it, he can no longer really trust himself to do this job :’0 He somehow has to let Thomas carry the duty himself even after his death. (sdfgdf i actually cried a little typing this) So yeah, Thomas is his hope for his family to have a chance to live in peace (which is literally more important to him than his own life hhhhh)

Yes, I can see that happening too! Thomas trying his best not to lose face because if the leader crumbles, everyone crumbles with him so he hides away (including from Newt at first, fearing that he might further fail him if he shows his distress, and ends up letting go bc well, this is Newt) :’000 (I’m actually not sure if he’s aware how much Newt counts on him in the movies, I love that they both count on each other a lot in a very different way btw! Like you said, Thomas is a driving force for Newt and Newt is also a driving force for Thomas, they complete each other so nicely in that sense fghvfgh)

(Damn, 40k ?? This is so cool honestly, I’m always so impressed when i see fellow non-natives writing ffics of this length in english dfghghfgh but you’re right to keep it as a learning experience and have fun with it first and foremost! Seems to me that it’s the best way to have a healthy relationship with your work :> I wish you good luck with it though!)

I saw your tags under my fic excerpt and just gosh thank you so much! I'm so glad you like my take on Thomas being the one to have the breakdown. I discuss Thomas guilt a few times in this fic and this breakdown has a lot to do with that and the responsibility he has too. Have another line to add more context: "It had been as if all the accumulated stress and pain and grief from the Maze and Scorch and the last six months came pouring out of him." I basically viewed the failed rescue as a tipping point for Thomas who has been playing leader since super long at that point and outwardly cracks for the first time under it and shows that to Newt. (And I will start uploading my fic once I finished the whole first draft because I don't wanna risk not finishing it and letting people hanging. But it will be out eventually and I will announce it on here too when it is c:)

No, thank you for sharing some bits of your ffic and your thoughts about Thomas, I love this type of discussion actually ; u ;

I just. Agree with everything being said here, it’s true that Thomas had a responsibility as a leader since the very beginning, and the fact that (mostly) his decisions had both positive and negative impacts on other ppl and himself... You summed it up so well. There is both a culmination of the stress he is under since he came out of the box and also the fact that, right before Aris told he and Newt about the Last City, he basically lost his very last chance to save Minho (of all ppl) too ? Because like, as this point, being at the mercy of WICKED is almost being as good as dead tbh. So i really like that he ends up cracking right after this event, it seems very pretty realistic to me. :’0

Also Thomas trusting Newt enough to crack in front of him and finally letting out all these feelings he’s been building up for so long and Newt trying to comfort Thomas after everything and not blaming him or taking out his own emotions on him and instead being empathic to him ? I love this so much haha. It doesn’t mean that Newt isn’t affected at all but that he understands what led Thomas to breakdown this way while also mirroring his feelings as well ? Man.

(Also don’t worry I get the feeling :’D I’m kinda the same with my own art, I’d rather avoid announcing WIPs or stuff I’m working on bc I don’t want ppl to wait for something that may never be finished sdfgcgf)

[yoong02]

Get to know me tag ♡

thaaank you @chim-jiminie-cricket for tagging me, you’re adorable ily 💖 RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST: 1. drink: water 2. phone call: my dentist lol 3. text message: nobody??:/ 4. song you listened to: 방탄소년단 (BTS): Boy Meets Evil 5. time you cried: i don’t remember 6. dated someone twice: nah 7. kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone, sad life 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: I lost a lot of people 10. been depressed: I am constantly I guess 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12-14. purple, rose gold, black.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yaaaas 16. fallen out of love: noooooo 17. laughed until you cried: yes too much 😂 -thanks cybelle- 18. found out someone was talking about you: nope, but I don’t care anyway 19. met someone who changed you: not last year 20. found out who your friends are: yup 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: nah 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I know moost of them 23. do you have any pets: a cat ♡ 24. do you want to change your name: no, it’s not usual and is significative !

25. what did you do for your last birthday: a nap.

26. what time did you wake up: 11 am .-. (i sLEPT AT 4 AM OKay) 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: ………. dancing/working out 28. name something you can’t wait for: my final exams to finish (anD JHOPE’S MIXTAPE) 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 5 minutes ago i think?

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: idk a lot of things 31. what are you listening to right now: my inner hoe complainig, yea 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes. and I kicked him in the ankle because he insulted one direction. i was younger that i am now,  don’t judge me. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: mY sIsTEr 34. most visited website: tumblr, youtube and vapp 35-37. 38. hair colour: brown 39. long or short hair: long 40. do you have a crush on someone: nope 41. what do you like about yourself: my kindness and open-mindedness 42. piercings: my ears? 43. bloodtype: i don’t know omg 44. nickname:crackers au fromage, petit triton -little newt-, main de fer -iron hands- idk my friends give me weird names 45. relationship status: single or engaged to min yoongi, if you prefer 46. zodiac: taurus 47. pronouns: she/her 48. favourite tv show: teen wolf ! i’m also curently watching the drama Fight For My Way which I looove 49. tattoos: naah

50. right or left handed:right :) 51. surgery: nope 52. piercing: ears 53. sport: i really like badminton and dancing 55. vacation: morocco !!! 56. pair of trainers: black nike trainers 57. eating:an ice cream 58. drinking: water 59. i’m about to: work out and watch a drama 61. waiting for: my shit to get together 62. want: min yoongi 63. get married: one day 64. career: i want to work in a publishing house !

WHICH IS BETTER 65. hugs or kisses: hugs! i need one right now.

66. lips or eyes: eyes 67. shorter or taller: taller 68. older or younger: older? 70. nice arms or nice stomach: nice personnality 71. sensitive or loud: both are good 72. hook up or relationship: both 73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: no 75. drank hard liquor: no lmao, i don’t want to die 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: no but I broke my glasses when i was little 77. turned someone down: kinda? 78. sex on the first date: nooo 79. broken someone’s heart: i reaally hope not .__. 80. had your heart broken: yes 81. been arrested: no 82. cried when someone died: no 83. fallen for a friend: yes://

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: still working on it 85. miracles: yup 86. love at first sight: no, but attraction yes. 87. santa clause:yes I do:))) 88. kiss on the first date: no 89. angels: yeah

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: I don’t have one.. 91. eye colour: brown 92. favourite movie: Les Choristes and all the Night at Museum movies i tag: @tae-gogh @busans97 @teddycheol @zengirling @dracomahlfoys @voidtrials @waekirei(i understand if you don’t want to do that, it’s quite long aha)

[wilwywaylan]

and, uh, current fandom favourite ship (don't care if it's les mis, it's for u to go nuts over a ship u like)

Let’s talk NEWTDENCE !! :D

How differently do they think of each other now compared to when they first met? A LOT DIFFERENTLY !! At least for Newt, but that's what happens when you first meet your future lover in Obscurus form. Of course he thought, at least for a short time, that Credence was a dangerous creature, seeing the destruction he caused. Even then, that didn't stop him from trying to help. Because as much mayhem as he caused, it still wasn't his fault.Now he knows perfectly that Credence is a gentle, kind, sensitive person who's been pushed too far by several bad persons, and who'd never hurt anyone willingly. And who sometimes has a wicked sense of humor.At first, Credence was quite... confused about Newt, to be honest. That strange-looking man, with his weird accent, claiming he wanted to help while waving one of those damned wands around ? Was he an enemy ? Was he lying ? Was it a trap ? What what WHATWHATWHAT !!Now he knows that Newt is far from all those wizards who tried to kill him, and far too from Graves. He knows he's nice, awkward, and always wants to help. He's a big softie who doesn't even try to hide that he's a softie. And he loves animals so much, it's wonderful.

What do their friends/family think of their relationship? Let's just say Mary-Lou wouldn't welcome Newt. At. All. But then again, she's dead, so who cares ?Tina, Queenie and Jacob are all very happy for Newt, and for Credence. They are both very good for each other. Credence found a home, and Newt isn't lonely, they are both happy and safe. The five of them often organize dinner, or they just meet at their place with coffee and delicious, fantastic beasts-shaped pastries.After a while, Credence reunited with his sisters. Things were a bit tense at first, because of a number of unsaid things, but it got better quickly. They adore Newt and keep bugging him to let them into the suitcase, where they can pet the animals all day (he totally indulges them). As for Newt's family, he hasn't told them yet. To be honest, he fears their reaction. After all, he's living with a weird boy now, in his suitcase (and a bit in London too), and surrounded by the animals they think is a waste of time. So he's not very keen on telling them for now.

How do their personalities/skills complement or contrast with each other? Less than compliment, and more like "being awkward together". They are two kinda emotionnally stunted people who found solace with someone like them. But they don't push each other into something they wouldn't be comfortable in, and respect each other's personnality. As for their skills, Newt is of course better versed into the arts of magic, potions, and of course care of magical creatures, and he's a good, patient teacher. Credence is more organized and less forgetful that Newt, and he learns quickly. They make a good pair, as long as they are working with animals and not with people.

What is their favorite aspect of each other? Credence likes Newt's patience and gentleness the best. Instead of treating him like anyone would treat an Obscurial, with fear and disgust, Newt approached him gently, did his best to reassure him, and always makes sure he's not scared or startled. He doesn't blame Credence when he has moments, days even, where he doesn't talk and just sits there in silence. He just understands, brings him tea and the Niffler, and respects his privacy and space.Newt likes that Credence is gentle and quiet. Of course, it's partly due to everything he went through, from his abusive mother to what Graves did to him, and they are working on it as they can. But it's... relaxing to be with another person who can spend hours without talking, just taking care of the animals. He wouldn't be happy with someone chatting their head off all day. Credence is not talkative, and very understanding, and that's perfect.

Do either of them have pet peeves about each other? Credence keeps biting his nails. Newt hates it, as it means his boyfriend is feeling anxious at something. And since he doesn't always know how to ask and knows not to pry, it means it could be days before he finally gets to the crux of the problem. That, and it gives Credence jagged nails that scratch him each time Credence touches him.Credence just doesn't like that Newt always spreads the books all through the lab. And flat. And suitcase. Piles of books everywhere, where the animals can get them.... Books are fragile ! You take care of them ! He doesn't dare say anything, he still feels like a guest sometimes, and they are Newt's, he can treat them as he wants. That doesn't stop him from picking them after him and setting them all nicely on the shelves.

How would each reconcile with each other after a fight? Probably bribe the Niffler with something shiny and send him to the other with a little note. They would have conversations like that before feeling comfortable enough to face each other again.

What would be their ideal vacation getaway together? Anywhere remote with lots of intersting animals and no people. Maybe with lots of sunlight, but with their light skins, they would probably turn lobster red in no time. But still, perfect.

Think of a new way (AU, different situation, etc.) they could have met for the first time. STUPID HORROR B MOVIE ACTORS !!!! (thanks for the idea :D)Graves is that weird movie director who, without getting to the top, made himself a name due to his unique style of directing, audacious cinematography and very peculiar ideas. His movies are always spectacular, scary, and beautiful in their own ways. But working with him is not a walk in the park. He's authoritarian, sometimes brash, and places his vision of his movie above everything else. It can cause friction with some actors and crew who aren't used to his manners. To smooth things a bit, a lot goes through his assistant Credence, who's way gentler than him. Too much, maybe, because he's sometimes afraid of pushing other people. As a result, things don't get done as Graves would like, and he lashes out at Credence. As a result, the assistant feels stuck between a rock and a hard place, trying to please the director and not be rude to the crew.Graves' last movie may be his most ambitious to date : a complex story about witches, a curse, a few dragons, and a quest to save the world. As a result, he's at his most severe, and pushes his actors to do their best, and even better ! It... doesn't go too well with the lead. Newt Scamander is always cast as the awkward hero who gets designated to save the world, and he's quite a good actor. But in real life, he's more than awkward, and quickly gets flustered when someone is barking orders at him. Luckily, he's not alone in this. Queenie, who plays the ditzy princess, Tina, who's the smart witch who gets saddled with Newt's character, and Jacob his sidekick, all team up with him, and they help each other go through the shooting and Graves' tantrum without too many panic attacks.To his credit, Graves quickly notices that his lead tends to freeze every time he raises his voice, and decides to go through Credence instead to get him to do what he wants. It works way better because Credence can find the words, and he's nice and gentle. Less bumps on the road, less tantrums and screams. It's for the best, really. Of course, Newt and Credence both tend to turn all read and stutter, but that's only a minor inconvenience.As the end of the shooting gets closer and closer, Newt gets sadder and sadder. He hides if, of course, you don't want to mess a take by pouting, unless you want to be subjected to a lecture. But still. End of the shooting means he has to find another one, with another director. Work is not very hard to find for him these days, but other directors don't have a nice assistant with beautiful brown eyes and a cute smile... He finally tell Tina about it, after much prodding and poking, and she immediatly encourages him to go and talk to Credence. It takes him a few days of hmm-ing and aaah-ing, because talking to people about feelings is HARD ! Especially to cute, shy people ! But finally, on the last day of the shooting, as they gather to celebrate, Newt slides Credence a post-it decorated with a cute little duck, just marked with "coffee, 5 PM ?". Credence doesn't answer, and Newt is crushed. Until he gets a post-it with a little cat on it, and a big "yes !" marked on it. On the group pics they take before parting on, he has the biggest smile on his face.

[demonsonthemoon]

Veni, Vedi - Chapter 2

Fandom: Pacific Rim Pairings: Eventual Newt/Hermann/Vanessa Word Count: 5075 Summary: Everything changed after they collapsed the Breach. Newt lost the thing he had dedicated his life to. Hermann lost all of his certainties, and gained a family. Vanessa found something to hope for again. And, somehow, all of their lives got tangled together.

Also available on AO3.

Newt

He knew where he was, but the scanner still felt too small and too dark. Newt was sweating, and the smell reminded him of hundreds of bodies pressed close to him as they listened to the sounds of destruction just above their heads. As they waited for the verdict on whether they would live or die. The vibrations of the scanner added to the illusion, resembling a little too much for comfort the tremors caused by giant footsteps.

Still. Newt knew where he was. He could deal with it. He was a rockstar. He had survived drifting with a kaiju. He wasn't going to be scared by something as silly as a CT scan.

He started looking for songs he knew by heart, singing them in his head and adapting his breathing to their rhythm.

In the time it took for the scan to be completed, he had gone through a few pop songs, the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody and some of the old rock classics his uncle used to listen to. He had also realized he still remembered some of the German punk numbers he had held onto as a token of home during his time at MIT, and that he could still sing one of the Code Geass openings, despite having never learned to speak Japanese. He had always meant to get to it someday, had even seriously considered it between his fourth and fifth doctorates. But languages were hard. Like, stupidly hard, for some reason. And he was still bilingual, so that should count for something, even if his German had become saddeningly limited.

Singing helped to distract him, for a while. But he still wanted to move. He needed to move like he needed to breathe. He knew he shouldn't, he knew that it would only make things worse because he would be forced to re-do the scan from the start. But rationality didn't stop all of his instincts from thinking that he needed to get out, claw his way out and into the open, where he could see threats coming and defend himself

“Nope. Not doing this, buddy,” Newt told himself, unable to think of another song he knew the words to. “You're not a predator. You're a tiny human with terrible eyesight and the muscles of a six-year old. So you're going to be a good boy and lie in this tube without moving a finger, and you're going to be fine.”

This scan was stupid anyway. There was almost no chance that their neurological readings would have gotten back to baseline in just a night, but there was also no chance that anybody in the Shatterdome would be able to analyse the results. They had nothing to compare them to, because nobody had drifted with a freaking hivemind before.

Sure, people could make theories. But you would need a genius to be able to come even close to the truth. A genius who knew the way the drift system worked like the back of her hand.

They would need a genius like Caitlin Lightcap, the woman who had first made the drift work. They needed Caitlin Lightcap, but Lightcap was dead, because humanity couldn't have nice things.

Hermann and Newt himself were probably the next best things but... Newt wasn't sure he was up to the task, if he was quite honest. The kaiju might be gone, the War might have been won, but Newt wasn't sure he had ever been more scared than now.

He had been the one to set up the PONs system that enabled the threeway, interspecies drift. He knew how bad his own situation could be. Normal systems enabled communication between two similar, compatible consciousnesses and the neutral, blank pseudo-consciousness of the Jaeger. But for his drift with the kaiju, Newt had needed to lower the compatibility threshold and allow for a much heavier flow of data than would have been normally treated. Alien data, which had flooded his and Hermann's brains. How much had their neural pathways needed to adapt to be able to process even a fragment of this data? Would these adaptations be permanent or not?

And what if Hannibal Chau had been right? What if Otachi had really been looking for him through the remnants of their drift connection? Did it mean that he and Hermann could still be connected to the Hive?

Would the connection be able to hold even with the Breach closed? Newt guessed that Hermann might have opinions about that, since he had spent so long studying the Breach's structure. He should ask, sometime. Maybe Hermann would be nice enough to lie and tell him that the probability wasn't high enough to worry about. Ah. It was a nice thought to entertain.

Newt wondered how well Hermann was handling the situation. He didn't seem to realize the mannerisms he had picked up from Newt's side of the drift. Newt wasn't sure if Hermann was aware of how dangerous this could be. If they were being so heavily influenced by each other just from one drift together, the effects of the kaiju could be counted on to be much worse.

Grimly, Newt considered the fact that he had drifted with the kaiju twice.

The soft ping and crackling of the intercome that let him know his scan was over came at just the right moment. Newt genuinely wasn't sure if he would have been able to stay still for much longer.

The machine slowly opened, and he had to blink several times against the harsh fluorescent lights of the room. Once he was handed his glasses, he avoided the gazes of all the medical staff, whispered a quick thank you, and got out of the room as quickly as his wobbly legs would allow.

The medical staff weren't a threat. There was nothing there for him to claw through. He was safe, he was fine and, most importantly, he was human. Yeah. He was rocking this.

Done with his second scan, Newt walked to the mess hall to grab something to eat that wasn't soy milk and stale biscuits. He was hoping to see Hermann there, but either the man wasn't done with his own medical tests, or he had already headed back to his room or the lab. It wouldn't be atypical behaviour.

As he looked around the room, searching with increasing desperation for someone who wasn't there, Newt was hit by a sense of longing so sudden and powerful that he almost dropped his tray. Sitting down at the nearest empty table, he took some time to assess his own feelings.

He was thinking of a woman. A woman in her early twenties, with dark skin and long braided hair. He recognized her as Vanessa, Hermann's wife, although a much younger Vanessa than the woman Newt had met a few years ago. The Vanessa of then had had her hair shaved close, and wore contact lenses instead of the oval glasses Newt could now imagine her with.

This was Hermann's Vanessa. This was Hermann's memory of the Vanessa he had met at university. The sense of longing he had felt was Hermann's own desire to see his wife again.

Newt felt sick. This wasn't something he should have been privy too. This wasn't something Hermann would ever have thought to share. It was one thing to have glimpsed some of the man's memories in the flow of the drift, but another thing entirely to be experiencing Hermann's most private feelings outside of it.

Fuck.

His food was looking a lot less appetizing than it had just a few minutes ago. He toyed with it for a while, lost in thoughts that weren't his. The more he tried not to pry, the more Hermann's memories flooded into his mind.

Twenty minutes and a splitting headache later, Newt shoveled all of his food into his mouth as fast as he could, not caring about how any of it tasted, and put his dirty tray in a dedicated rack.

He was three steps away from the door when a hand on his upper arm stopped him.

“Hey man! We missed you at the party yesterday!”

The voice belonged to Tendo Choi, who was looking exhausted but happy. Newt could sympathize with the first part at least.

“How are you holding up?”

Newt tried to answer and let out a nervous laugh instead. Tendo frowned for a second, so Newt was quick to put on a smile and pretend that nothing had happened. “Me and Hermann got stuck in Medical all night. Supposedly so they could keep an eye on our brain chemistry and make sure we didn't die. I personnally think it was just because the medical staff wanted to hoard more alcohol for themselves. They were in pretty bad shape this morning.”

Tendo relaxed, letting out a laugh of his own. “Well, you're welcome to my quarters tonight if you want. We're having a small-scale repeat of last night with Raleigh and Mako, because they were stuck in the Med Bay too yesterday.”

“I'll... I'll think about it,” Newt said awkwardly. The day before, he would have given anything to go to the party. Right now, he felt shaken. His head was killing him, and he wasn't sure alcohol was advisable in such conditions. “Thanks, man.”

“You're welcome, brother,” Tendo replied, patting him on the shoulder. “Shit, I should be thanking you. You went out on the field during the first attack. Freaking saved the world. That took some guts.”

Newt let out another nervous laugh, running a hand through his hair. “I have no idea what I was fucking thinking.” He could still smell the sweat that had trickled down his face as Otachi came down on the bunker. He could feel his muscles locked in place by fear as a glowing blue tongue swept through the air, looking for him, it's looking for him, he knows it, he's gonna die, he's gonna die, he's gonna-

And there was another question for him. How many of his symptoms were caused by PTSD instead of by the process of drifting, and how would he ever learn to make the difference between them?

“Still. Saved the world. Not many people reckless enough to do that.”

Tendo's tone was reassuring. It felt like he could see that Newt was building up a façade, and like he guessed at least part of what was hiding behind it. It wouldn't be surprising considering how close Tendo had been to some of the Jaeger pilots. A pilot without trauma was more the exception than the rule.

“I'm a rockstar.” The words came out more self-depricating than confident, but Newt's smile did turn genuine after a second. After all, he truly had done it. He truly had saved the world. Maybe he'd fucked two of this generation's greatest brains in the process, but who had to know that? He was a rockstar. Yeah.

“See you later then, starboy!” Tendo said with a grin, before leaving him to grab his lunch.

Newt started walking again. He wasn't sure exactly of where he was going. Earlier, he had just wanted to be out of the Medical Bay, and it had been time for lunch so that had seemed like a logical option, but now... He knew going into the city would be too high a risk. First because of the damage done to the infrastructures and the risk of Kaiju Blue contamination, and then because it would trigger too many memories of Otachi and Hannibal Chau. Tendo had called him reckless and... Well, yeah. He was. He had drifted with a piece of kaiju brain using a custom system he had built out of old tech he'd had to steal. If “reckful” had been a word, his actions definitely wouldn't have fit the definition. But even if he was reckless, Newt wasn't stupid. He knew that he had his own limits.

He wondered if it wouldn't be better to just go back to his room and get some more rest but... it would feel too empty. Too impersonal. Too much like being alone, which he technically was, but that didn't mean he wanted to feel it.

That only left one option, really.

Entering the lab felt like releasing a breath he'd been holding. It felt like coming home. Which was kind of sad, Newt guessed, but could anyone blame him? This is where he had spent most of his time for the last ten years. Maybe not this lab specifically, but all labs had a similar quality to them.

Newt looked around, at the different vats with floating organs, and at Hermann's dusty blackboard.

There was still work to do.

That, too, felt like coming home. Vanessa

Her phone started ringing, and she slipped across the floor and almost fell in her haste to grab it. It wasn't her proudest moment. But she had been waiting for this.

It wasn't that Vanessa's life revolved around her husband. Quite the opposite. For years, it had revolved around anything and everything but him. Vanessa wasn't going to feel guilty about being so excited to finally talked to the man she loved, not after all the times she had wished he had been there as she aimlessly wandered through her small apartment.

“Hello?” She said as she picked up.

“'Nessa.” Hermann said her name like it was the answer to a riddle. Like it was the exhale after the first puff of a cigarette. He said her name, and just like that Vanessa knew that he missed her just as much as she missed him.

“Hello Hermann.”

She felt tears well up in her eyes. She wondered if she could blame them on a hormone imbalance due to her pregnancy. She was hearing his voice. She was hearing his voice but, unlike all the previous times they had called each other, they had time to talk now. They had time to think. Time to plan. All of time was unfolding before them, because it was over.

So, now that they had the time, instead of rushing through everything they had to say to each other, they took a minute just to listen to each other's breathing. Vanessa closed her eyes. Even though they were hundreds of miles away from each other, the moment felt intimate, precious. They were there, and they were alive.

“It's real, right?” Vanessa asked, breaking the silent. “It's true?”

“Yes. It's over. We won the Kaiju War.”

“Thank you.” Vanessa felt more tears building behind her eyes. She knew she wouldn't be able to hold them back for the entirety of this conversation. “Thank you for everything you've done. I... I hated it. I hate you being away. I hated knowing you were in danger. It was so selfish, but I hated it and I... I was so scared that we would lose. That we would all die. I was so scared that we would have lived apart for so long and then just died, on two different continents. But now...” She sat down on her couch and hugged her knees close to her chest with one arm, phone cradled between her ear and her shoulder. “Now I'm glad. I'm glad you did all that. Because you saved the world.”

“I didn't do it on my own, 'Nessa. I played but a small part. There were so many other there. So many others who...”

Hermann cut himself off and Vanessa closed her eyes. “I know. I know Hermann. We'll remember them. I will remember them. But not right now.” A first tear slid down her cheek. “Right now I just want to be selfish a little longer. Right now I want to think about all of those who are alive. We'll have time to remember later. But those who... those who sacrificed themselves. They wanted us to have a future. So I think... I think they would agree. We need to learn how to live in that future first.”

Hermann stayed silent for a few seconds on the other side of the world.

“It feels like a prayer that has been answered. We won the Kaiju War and you're gonna have a baby.”

Vanessa laughed. The sound escaped her mouth like a frightened deer.

Hermann had once explained how he could not not believe in a higher power. Too much of the world made sense for there to be no Rule . He did not, however, believe in any kind of god in the most usual sense of the term. He did not believe in prayer or church rituals. He did not believe in personal gods.

Still, Vanessa had a sense that he had his own ways of trying to communicate with the divine. In the way she imagined his own theology, she thought that the Rule, the power and sense of the universe wanted to be understood. Through his work, Hermann was doing his best to make that wish come true.

“I know. I hope so. None of this feels real.”

She was so happy. She could hear so much hope in Hermann's voice. She had needed that reassurance that she had made the right choice.

After all, when she had decided to keep the baby, it had been mostly her own decision. They had talked about having children before, but those conversations had felt like lifetimes ago, like old daydreams, once they had started losing the War. She hadn't been sure, not entirely, that the Hermann of today would still share the same dreams as the Hermann of ten years ago.

Now she knew. Hermann's voice had curled around the word “baby” with awe and with joy, and she knew that the child would be wanted. It wouldn't just be her own selfish dream. It would be theirs.

Silence settled again. Vanessa could think of none of the thousand things she had wanted to say. It was all lost under the weight of so many years of silence and distance.

Finally, she managed to ask a question.

“Are you coming back?”

Hermann sighed, and Vanessa's chest constricted. She had expected this.

“I'm gonna try. But... I'm still under the PPDC's authority. What's left of it. And... there's still work. There's still work to do.”

“There's always work to do, Hermann.” It was a bit of a reproach, but Vanessa hadn't been able to hold herself back.

“I know. Trust me, I know, and I'm gonna try. I miss you so much. But they... I'm needed. There's only two of us in K-Science but there's still so much to do... I can't just leave, not... not right away.”

“I know.” She meant it, even though it hurt. She knew how much his work meant to him. She could never have married him if she hadn't known that. She admired this part of him, even when it broke her heart. And she knew how much this work meant to the world. How important it was.

She wondered what would have happened to her, if she had turned down her first modeling gig, or stopped doing it once she didn't need it to pay for her studies anymore. She wondered what would have happened if she had started working as an engineer, or gone into research. She couldn't imagine herself not being crushed by the pressure of it all.

Not that her job wasn't demanding. It asked for the best of her, always. But science didn't just demand that you do your best. It required that you be right. You could work for years and not succeed, and it wouldn't be your fault. But science would take no pity.

“But soon,” Hermann continued. “As soon as I can, Vanessa, I promise.”

“Okay.”

Another moment of silence.

“Tell me how it happened. I want to know how you saved the world.”

Hermann

Hermann leant back in his chair and looked at the bare metal walls of his Shatterdome room. This had been what he had called home for the last ten years.

What a miracle it was, that he had even survived.

Hearing Vanessa's voice, her curiosity and love, Hermann was truly hit by everything he had missed during all this time. He had been busy enough not to feel too homesick, but thinking of going home, to a real home that was personal, it made him ache with want now. He wanted to become a person again, not just a tool, not just a soldier.

He thought of Newton, then. Maybe this was something Hermann had previously refused to see in the man: that his exuberance and loudness was partly a defense mechanism to stay human, to stay himself. Newton didn't like rules. He needed freedom like he needed air. Hermann knew, now. He knew how much it had hurt, being told how to behave, how to dress, how to talk. Hermann knew, now, how much Newt had hated it, how much of himself he had sacrificed just because he was needed, just because he knew he was the best person for this job and this job needed to be done perfectly.

Now, though. Now they were free. And a reckless part of Hermann was telling him to run. That part might have been Newton, or it might have something Hermann would have liked to blame on Newton. There was no telling and, either way, Hermann thought it didn't really matter now. The person he was today would forever be altered by the thought processes and gestures he had acquired from his colleague during the drift. Purity of selfhood was a myth, and he had other things to put energy into than to keep it alive.

Like this newfound freedom.

Hermann wanted to run, to leave the Shatterdome behind, to leave the dead behind, to flee from all the memories. He wanted to see his wife again and pretend that they were still who they had been ten years ago, that their promises still rang with the same truth.

But he knew he couldn't. He knew he wouldn't forgive himself if he did. Hermann knew what the right thing to do was. He could rationalise his purpose. And that meant he had to stay a while longer.

“Hermann?” Vanessa asked, voice tinged with worry. “Are you okay?”

She had asked a question. Yes. Hermann didn't know where to begin.

“I just... a lot... A lot of things happened. I don't know how to tell you all of it.”

“It's okay. You don't have to. If you don't want to.”

But he did want to tell her. He wanted to tell her everything, and for her to understand him like he didn't seem to understand himself anymore.

“You must have learned the big lines of it through the news. A team of Jaeger was sent to drop a nuclear bomb into the Breach and collapse its structure. It was supposed to be a four-Jagers drop, but we lost Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon during the first double event and...”

He told her about Gypsy Danger and Striker Eureka. About Hercules Hansen's broken arm, and how Marshal Pentecost had taken his place despite knowing it would cost him his life. He had to backtrack and tell her about Newton's first drift with the piece of kaiju brain. It was awful, re-living this moment in two perspective, his own fear for his colleagues mingling with the primal horror Newt had felt at the scale of his discovery. The feeling of his own body seizing, and Newton's in his arms. He told her as fast as he could, hiding his desperation, hiding his fear of being abandoned, of being left alone again.

Then he told her about Otachi's baby, the need for a second drift, but a safer one. The need for someone able to find and decode the data humanity needed to survive.

He told her, matter-of-factly, how he had agreed to drift with Newton. He didn't tell her how, really, he had been the one asking, begging him to stay alive. He didn't tell her about how surprised he had been at his own behavior. He had never thought he had that kind of courage, not really. He had enough courage to resist things. To stand his ground. Enough courage to face what his peers thought of him and not budge in his principles.

But he wasn't the kind of man who plunged into the unknown.

Except he had.

Part of his thoughts had been full of doubt. What if it doesn't work what if it kills him what if we're not compatible what if it makes things worse what if he sees things he shouldn't what if the world ends anyway what if-

The other part had only been cold certainty. Certainty that Newton would die if he drifted alone. Certainty that his plan would work, if only they had enough information. Certainty that the best person to recognize the right information was him. Certainty that they had to be Drift Compatible. Years of proximity had taught him that.

“What was it like?” Vanessa asked. “Drifting?”

Hermann didn't tell her that the first thing he had glimpsed in the mess of thoughts and emotions had been fear and heartache.

“Like being underwater,” he said instead. “Like being completely submerged under information and knowing that if you release your breath you'll drown. It's not just... You don't just hear thoughts or see memories. I was him. I was the kaiju. I had access to the entirety of a completely different existence as if it had always been my own. I was feeling what they'd been feeling, thinking what they'd been thinking. The kaiju...”

He had to stop to gather his thoughts. Looking into his memories of the drift was like staring into the sun. It was intense enough to be painful.

“They're connected between themselves. The whole species. We didn't just... we didn't just drift with one of them. We were all of them.”

For a second, Hermann was glad Vanessa wasn't in the room. His hand was shaking just thinking about it.

“One human consciousness is already a universe onto itself. It's vast and complex. Kaiju... they might not have dreams, like we do... But they know pain. They know fear. They know rage and hunger. Their lives are painful, and short. And I came to know many of them, all more horrific than the next, in just one instant. I've felt all their lives and their deaths.” He breathed, in and out. “And through them, the precursors.”

“The precursors?”

Of course, Vanessa wouldn't know about them. No one knew about them except him, Newton and Hercules Hansen, now that Marshall Pentecost was dead. Perhaps Raleigh Becket, if he had glimpsed enough of the Anteverse.

“Other... beings. From their world. I can't...” Hermann thought of eyes watching him, judging him, of pain across his body as he was sculpted to please this being, as a consciousness whispered to him and urged him to destroy destroy destroy. “I can't...”

“It's okay,” Vanessa whispered through the phone. Hermann breathed again. “You're okay.”

“We found the information we needed. In the drift. We found out why all of our previous attacks had failed. You need a key for the Breach to let you go down its throat. You need a kaiju's genetic code.”

“Wow. How did you do that?”

“Gypsy Danger and Striker Eureka were already engaged by the time we managed to let them know. Striker... Ranger Hansen and Marshal Pentecost sacrificed themselves. They detonated the nuclear bomb that had been meant for the Breach to eliminate the kaiju that had been protecting it. Gypsy Danger's core was nuclear so... Rangers Mori and Becket fought with the last surviving kaiju and dragged it through the Breach so they would be able to cross it as well. Then they detonated their core. They were the only rangers to survive.”

Grieve later, Vanessa had said. But even she seemed shaken.

“You wanted to know.” Hermann felt exhaustion settle into his bones, even though it was only midday.

“I want to go back to Berlin.”

The statement was so surprising in this context that he jolted a little. “What?”

“England is just... I'm glad I got to be with my family through all of this but... This country is too full of ghosts. I think I want to go back to Germany. But not... Only if you want to as well.”

“I hadn't... I hadn't thought about it. But we can try to find a new place while I'm still in Hong Kong. And if we don't... If we don't find anything I guess we could always stay with Karla for a little while.”

His sister Karla lived on the edge of the city, in a house she shared with her girlfriend and another couple. Hermann got on very well with her, and would love to see her again, but he also knew that visiting her meant she would push him to see the rest of their family. Whatever Karla said, and however much Hermann wanted to see his mother again, talking with his father was out of the question. Not when the man had abandoned the Jaeger Programm to support the Wall of Life project. Not when he had followed money on a path that had almost lead to the planet's extinction, and then hadn't even had the decency to apologize for it.

Still, he missed his mother and his siblings. He missed the loudness of family dinners when Dietrich's kids would play with Bastien's daughter. If they were in Berlin, maybe he could arrange something. Meet with them outside of the family house, without his father's knowledge. It wouldn't be so bad.

“I'll start looking,” Vanessa said, knowing all too well how complicated his family situation was. “I'll send you what I find.”

“I love you, Vanessa.”

She laughed at that, maybe startled at the suddenness of it. Hermann usually wasn't one for big declarations.

“I love you too.”

They hung up soon after. Hermann noticed he had unconsciously started drumming his fingers against his desk and forced himself to stop.

[newt--x]

oh hi dear political main character's best friend of [insert one or two minorities]