#news update: oh shit it didn't fucking work goddamn it

[trash-is-my-birthname]

adhd + pmdd + clinical depression + the horrors of capitalism + not enough sleep=

a Bad Fucking Time

[officially-other]

Update; an explanation for the next post being a new intro + bit of an AMA

I didn't realize when I made a 'rule' for myself about this blog, but I did. I don't think I ever post about my experiences anymore. It wasn't a conscious decision, it was just defending the status quo- sooooo I'm ending that because I'm sick of it. Have a wall of text!

TL;DR: A new kintype resulted in the realization that "oh shit, there's more than just me in my head." Turns out I'm plural. the AMA is simply because we're new and, save for me (Frog,) have a really fuzzy sense of identity. We're trying journaling to help but so far all the others are just... sort of as in the dark as I am.

This blog was made to be a sort of "interactive journal," and yet because I found comfort in the memes and sillyness that made me feel normal it became about that. I only posted about my Alterhumanity, and typically only in the form of memes. So!

Hi. Y'all haven't seen me in a while. A lot's been going on! I recently had two pretty major identity crisis /j breakthroughs. For one, I am fictionkin. I started a little sideblog ( @vines-of-mine ) for that and got to work on paying attention to that part of my identity as Alhaitham. (Yes, Alhaitham. Yes, from Genshin Impact.)

This, however, led me to something else. Suddenly I had way more ability to just decide to do something and do it without executive dysfunction kicking my ass. Different ways of speaking felt more natural. I felt like I'd been plonked into someone's life, looked around, went "damn you live like this?" and got to work. Within two days my room was clean, my altar had been taken care of finally, etc. I chalked it up to just... "Oh, well of course! It's a mental shift, and I can embrace my more serious side when there's no expectations for how I talk."

Ultimately, it was the "Damn, you live like this?" feeling, like I was an outsider in my own life, that made me question things. As often happens with me, the moment I opened myself up to the idea that I was plural, I opened a floodgate. I am fictionkin; I do believe I have a past life in a world that somehow, in some way, made its way into our world as fiction. There is just also... another Alhaitham hanging around in my head, who instead of having an identity with "also is Alhaitham" built into it, just fully is exactly as I/we were in that life. There's others, now, too. They've been here much longer. Alhaitham is just the one who got plonked in here recently and therefore interrupted the status quo enough for me to go "hey, wait, what the fuck was that?"

So now I'm here doing the spiderman meme with another Alhaitham, in my own head, while a witch and an enderman share popcorn in the background.

Now at least so much makes more sense. The way my tail phantom shifts were often more like an enderfolk tail than a dragon tail. The goddamn ears that weren't dragon ears, were more like cat or canine ears, but I couldn't figure out what that was about. The way my inner dialogue really is a dialogue sometimes, not a monologue. Etc. Etc.

I'll be posting a new intro, but!! I wanted to mention that questions are not only allowed but encouraged and appreciated :D If anyone wants to know more feel free to spam my inbox, I don't mind. We're all new to this and sometimes being asked questions helps us actually realize the answer. Beyond that, really, I just wanted to start posting more about my own experiences and this is sort of necessary context for all of it.

[memberment]

Genesis

Goooooooooodmorning.

Idk why I'm making a post yet I really don't feel like writing. ANYWAYS. Updates may come today. They also may not. Idk yet.

6:51 Hello from beyond. A new playlist is being born as I write through chapter 30. Also, I think I finished my chapter 7 art. It's Craig carrying Tweek home after they first met. They were so cute 😭 Idk what the message is gonna be in that one yet though. I know what the response is, but not the og message. And I am realizing as I type that that I was not supposed to reveal that but fuck it we ball there's like six people on here it's okay.

ANYWAYS. IF I CAN FINISH 30 AND ACTUALLY WRITE 27 (due to a restructure, I skipped over it entirely and have to go back and rewrite it.) AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, CIRCLE BACK AND FINISH 22, I will be soooooooo happy. I got like 12 hours til sleep time and I prob will not be working on chapter 8 art. Because I do NOT wanna draw Kenny and Clyde just yet. (I'm afraid. I wanna put them in their magical girl uniforms and ACTUALLY SHOW THEIR UNIFORMS bc they do change eventually and I feel like the contrast goes INSANE.)

9:19: Hello friends totally didn't get distracted<3 ANYWAYS. Back to this hell chapter of everyone having a bad time.

1:38: I got so distracted Desolation was late and I didn't write anything. I have literally written under 1k today which is fucking insane to me. I write more when I'm "on breaks"

But I have come here to yap about something. While I'm "on break" I think I'm going to rework The End Is Near AND New Beginnings. Meaning they might get deleted for a bit. Because I kinda wanna redo them both because let's be so real here. My writing was not shit, but I feel like they are both gems that need a bit of love. I don't know if I'm gonna commit to the bit but I really fucking might LMFAOO.

But I do really want to redo New Beginnings because that was the whole reason I started writing fanfic and people are still looking at it and I feel like it pales in comparison to what I write now.

And reworking those two will be much more lax while I suffer through 15 weeks of physics hell. SOOO.

Whatever. Gonna try and get through chapter 30. and maybe 27 BECAUSE I STILL HAVE TO WRITE IT WHAT THE FUCK‼️‼️

I lied I'm yapping for all of five more seconds because I need to complain and refuse to get a diary.

I am actually really sad that I'm not gonna have every day posts anymore. Like I am trying so hard to cope with it but y'all.

Desolation has 4 chapters left. Tweek's Guide has 7 chapters left. Eclipse has 4 (technically five but epilogue's short so it's gonna get posted same day) chapters left. Craig's Guide has like 10 chapters left. Dandelion has 8 (technically 9) chapters left. and Leap year has 8 chapters left. (Genesis doesn't count because that just started. ) LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COPE. I HAVE FOUR FICS AND THERE ARE SEVEN DAYS OF THE WEEK. AND I CAN'T POST MY ONE REALLY FUNNY TRASHFIRE FIC BC PART OF IT IS SO GOOD I KINDA WANNA SPLIT THE CONCEPTS UP AND I REFUSE TO FINISH IT TIL I GET MY SHIT TOGETHER. Like y'all do not understand daily posts are like embedded in my brain. I love it. HOW DO I FIX THIS WITHOUT ACTIVELY WRITING. I hate it here. Oh also when Eclipse or Desolation get finished Dandelion is moving to Monday/Wednesdays because Freedom Pal Fridays are being a thing. Because I have. So. Many. Goddamn. Freedom. Pals. Fics. Sitting. There. ScREAMING. For. Me. To. Write. So An Answers getting thrown on Fridays. But how do I space this out? (I am so sorry for this unnecessary lengthiness I am officially just gaming this out as I type because my brother is sleeping and I can't call him to yap.) Like- I wanted to do Sunday for Genesis but I feel like Sundays kinda suck as post days, lowk. So what then? Monday Wednesday Friday Saturday???? I can't just do Tuesday and not Thursday. AH. I hate it here. I need more time and we are constantly running out of time.

Life is fleeting, and I simply hate it.

2:39: JUST HIT 90K. This has been cut down to 38 chapters. I have 1k ish left of 30. 27 is still undone. 22 needs its angel fight. So approximately 29k-36k ish left. I'm losing my mind. I can't believe I am speedballing through this like that. WHICH MEANS IF GOD SHINES DOWN UPON ME I CAN FINISH BOUND IN PEACE.

Then what?

Do I start my break early?

I don't wanna do that? What the fuck would I even work on then though??????

LMFAO about to pray for clarity.

3:44: Creative freedom is fucking crazy because Wendy's having a heart to heart with Brimmy right now.

4:14: I keep cutting chapters and part of me is starting to worry that this is too short but in the same breath like I'm combining them because drawing them out feels kinda lazy and rude. But we are now down to 36/37 chapters. I can't be too mad about it. But part two might be like, way longer. Also we're at 92.3k. SO I DID SOMETHING TODAY.

I lowk wanna work on bound for a bit but that means committing myself to an entire chapter because I can't just write part of a chapter and go back to it for that one and kinda I wanna reread the whole thing before I work on it more. UGH.

I might. I honestly fucking love Bound, like that was my baby when I was concepting it. I literally wrote so much of it while I was on vacation. Like stats on that one suck bc it's so niche but I do not even care. One of my favorite fics that I've written, easy. I'm not even a K2 girlie. I just wanted to write one because it was gonna annoy me if I didn't throw my hat in the ring at least once. I might write background K2 though for something unimportant bc I kinda like how I write them ngl. OKAY GOODBYE FOR NOW I'VE CONVINCED MYSELF TO MAYBE WRITE ANOTHER BOUND CHAPTER.

[staceymcgillicuddy]

annual writing self-evaluation

Thanks to @astorytotellyourfriends for the tag - I didn't do this last year!

1. List of works published this year (in the order that they were posted):

If She Lived in Space, Man, I'd Build A Plane crimson & clover pulling overtime model citizen; zero discipline what you give just serves me right two jack trippers and a chrissy perception check all my kinktober fills a hollow tree

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Gosh, that's hard. I'm proud of all of them for different reasons, and I have issues with all of them for different reasons. I guess I would say "what you give just serves me right" makes me happy, and was something I had to push myself to do, but I was pleased with how it turned out in the end.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I hate that I have two fics out that I haven't updated in ages! I am not proud of that! And there are a few things in all of them that I'd tweak.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Oh golly. Alright, from a hollow tree, which was my Halloween fic featuring Lilith!succubus!Chrissy:

Fog slips into the van when he opens the door. A mist so thick it’s disorienting as he drops to the ground, and the shape of a girl forms itself out of the gloom.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

Almost every single regular commenter on Soul makes my heart sing and my panties drop, and I'm so sorry my brain is being stupid right now.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Right goddamn now. It's like squeezing blood from a fucking stone, and I have no idea why, but everything comes out strained and blechy and I hate it, and I refuse to inflict it on anyone else so I'll just sit like a lump, churning out crap and never showing it to anyone.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

Genuinely did not think that I would get so into the Hopper/Chrissy/Eddie dynamic as I did when I wrote it as a crackship as part of kinktober. But, like, I could get DOWN with that shit.

Also, Hellcheerington surprised me. Oh, and writing Eddie's dad for Soul was weirdly cathartic? I was determined to make him a person and not a collection of cliches, which was easier said than done. I think I got there, in the end. Hope so, anyway!

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I didn't, I fucking regressed. Or, no, not really. I pushed myself a bit, tried to get sharper and cleaner with some prose. Read some theory books, worked on my rhetorical devices, forced myself to kill a couple darlings along the way (but not all the darlings, god damn it).

I also published a book, so yay?

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I'd like to get back to writing original fiction. I've been in a slump with that, too, because it doesn't have the instantaneous feedback that fanfic does. I want to split my time between fic and pro writing stuff, and I want to be very realistic about how much mental energy my real job takes up. When I used to write like a madwoman, I didn't have the role I currently do, which is a senior project manager leading a team, working mostly with executive-level staff. Don't get me wrong, my job pisses me off a lot, and stresses me out, too, but it pays well and we live in a shithole of a society where money matters in the grand scheme of things.

So, like, I guess I hope to grow as a writer in writing even when my brain doesn't want me to, or it doesn't feel great to do so.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Freaking Shirley Jackson, man. That bitch can write.

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

I'm always putting kinky shit I see or experience at the bdsm club into my fic. I am as God made me.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Everything is made up and the points don't matter. Stop comparing yourself to other authors. Turn off stats on your AO3. Write what you fucking want and quit worrying if other people are going to like it.

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I'm going to be so, so glad when Soul is done because I love it so much but it is also the millstone around my neck.

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

@binickandros, @pipergirl17 and @phoenixwrites please!

[docholligay]

Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi

I really struggled to connect with this book. Not because it's a bad book. It's not! It's really intriguingly written, and I think there are people it would connect with deeply, but for a handful of reasons--most of which are spoilery and go under the cut, but one of which doesn't and I will mention in a moment--I just couldn't connect with most of the novel. I don't think it's bad but I definitely do not like it.

I read two books while trying to finish it ahahaha, and I hardly ever do that. I did finish it though!

Non-spoilery reason I got turned off that is not even the fault of the narrative: There's a pull quote on the back from another author calling it, "A clarion call to those of us who find that our minds are more haunted and complex than the status quo." vomit vomit vomit girl please.

As a person who is fucking weird and crazy, I utterly reject the notion that to be out of your goddamn mind is to have access to some secret depth. That's the kind of bizarre cope we all fed ourselves at around 18 to 22, but I have news: having a fucked-up brain does not make you more passionate, or interesting, or cool, than anyone else, it just makes you fucked up. And that's fine! That's okay! Whenever I say this shit, someone is invariably like, "I choose to accept the wholeness of my being" honey I have zero percent shame about being a weirdo. I do not care. I don't care! I get by, i have people who love me both in spite of and because of being a weird little creature, it's fine. I don't think I would change myself, given the opportunity. But i'll be good goddamned before I manage to cook up and feed myself the idea that I'm somehow special, get fuckin real. More complex than other people, Jesus fuckin Christ.

This is not the narrative's fault! This is not the author saying this! It's some annoying bitch on the back cover! But it turned me off SO HARD that I turned on the book, which is why I put it down and went and read The Buried Giant (great) in between. To cleanse the palate.

Anyway, really intriguing writing, i do think it is in fact good, but it wasn't for me. My mom is reading it, I'll let you know what she thinks. (Oh tht reminds me--i need to update everyone about her reading Gideon the Ninth)

SPOILERS BENEATH THE CUT

The gods writing the story did such a good job of feeling inhuman and unattached that at a point I was like, 'Well, you got me there, I don't care either." I think this is the narrative's intention, to feel like you're interacting with something inhuman, disconnected from humanity, and it works! It just makes me not care at all. The We, especially, I felt very tuned out, and since they take up so much of the first third of the novel I could not get into whatever Ada was getting up to.

I found the whole central thing of, "Ada was molested as a child so she split into pieces" really very satisfying. From the beginning, we're told that she is born to go crazy, that it's like trying to shovel the sun into a bag of flesh, and then...at the very end, the We is like, "Oh yeah, the neighbor boy came and molested her and so we sectioned her off, and she became a broken mind and we decided what she did and didn't need to remember" and that paired with Asughara coming out when she's being raped, I just...I don't think it is a bad thing to write, at all. i think this could be emotionally compelling for someone else. But I am le tired. It's not that a woman can't be raped in a book or anything, but being fucked with is the underpinning of all of Ada's problems.

And then she's 'pulled out into the light" by another man, Leshi, though i suppose notably he does not sleep with her and I just...everything she does is defined by her relationship to men. Mostly sexually. Her mother and sister are barely in the thing. I just cannot with it.

So, I think a really interesting book, I love the effort of how it is written even if it doesn't connect with me personally, but man...I did not like this book.

[sydthetiel]

Update Time!

I'm not completely out of the woods yet, but some serious burdens/guilt have been lifted.

Family friend came again today, brought me another grocery order, which has a new can opener (this one better fucking work) and some more cold foods to last the week and stuff. Eggs, salad, etc. I can feel a little better about what I'm putting into my body besides canned crap, without having to spend hours to make it.

She helped me get a huge chunk done of what all those aides were supposed to do with me. We went through foods and organized, cleaned my "ration rack" (which is, as it sounds, a rack which holds the rations for days I can't get out of bed. Chips, crackers, croissants, poptarts, cookies, etc. All the snackies, and some extra drinks, so I no longer have to sleep with all of them.) Ahhh wonderful. It's also out of my path now for trying to get to my office where Syd is currently located. No more squeezing and side stepping. Mentally, that's a load off. Clutter and mess trigger my OCD bad enough to hit me real hard with depression and hopelessness. It's the biggest reason why hoarder Rex is so bad for me.

Syd's new water bowl came. As expected, it was too big to fit in such a tiny hospital cage. It was a two person job to take the top off and install it, and it takes up so very much of the cage. I held Syd, while friend put the top of the cage back on. The sight was so fucking depressing. Friend says to me "I'm gonna buy her a bigger cage." And of course, cages are expensive, so I told her that, and explained this one is so small because it's literally all I could afford, and I feel like the worst dad ever for it. And of course, at this point, we're both crying, because my baby girl deserves better than a tiny fucking cramped piece of shit where she can't even spread her fucking wings, but it's impossible to bring her home cage into my office. It ain't gettin' up the stairs, or through the doorways. Dear fucking gods, no. Friend insists, "We're gonna order a cage today, on your phone, before we leave." And she did. It'll be here in roughly a week. It should (better) be big enough, and it's quite lovely. It has a stand, so I can store her food and all that, and will make an exceptional hospital cage, where Bean can flap and be happy and well cared for. I am in fucking tears. Her gofundme is still up, for vet stuff, but this is fucking HUGE for us! She also said she'll take us to the vet for another Lupron injection, since Syd's horny again, and said she'd pay for the shot!! <333

Between sobbing about trying to figure out how to pay for van repairs, a new hot water heater, and a new furnace, and a shut off notice for the electric because once again Rex didn't pay it, not having to worry about shelling out an extra $100 or so on a hormone injection is just... such a fucking weight lifted.

On top of that, Daddy's getting some needs met, too now! She assembled my shoe rack! No more bending or tripping over all my shoes! They're right there! Aaaand I finally have my new massager. It's been sitting in a fucking filthy box for like two years, and she helped me get it clean, so now I have that. As soon as I got situated in bed tonight, I tried it out. The pleasure screams I felt as it massaged the knots out of my agonizing back and shoulders is just... oh gods. Probably sounded like a whole ass orgy up in here. Actual goddamn pain relief! PAIN RELIEF!!!!!!

I ate twice today, and finally had some decent hydration, too. Huge boost. I no longer detest the idea of my chicken and gravy tray. Meal plan for tomorrow!

Sunday, she's coming back, and we're gonna tackle some more stuff. I can't fucking wait. I mean, I would really love a weekend with my girlfriend, and some rest, but also, just... a clean environment is so fucking good for my mental health. And it makes me happy that they'll take all the outdated foods I won't eat, so I don't have to feel like a douchebag for wasting it and throwing it out. They're happy to eat it, and I feel like I can give something back for all the help, while also clearing out all the space.

We got a game plan for downstairs, and will start making dents in that.

But honestly... This huge chunk done today is... the kind of support I needed to feel like I might actually survive? I mean... it's still grim. The debts, the bills, the taxes not being paid. The gofundme is still just as fucking urgent as ever in order to not go homeless. In order to get heat and hot water and transportation back. But I don't feel quite as stranded and alone.

We most definitely still need like $2,000 for the van repairs, and $3,000 for the water heater and furnace, and uh... like $6,000 for the backed taxes and another $5,000 for this year's taxes.

But I don't have to cry about not being able to give Syd a better cage, or Lupron, and I have some better access for my own self care. Pain relief is so wonderful. Especially when healthcare providers are failing me so miserably.

Gofund.me ($5 min donation according to their standards) Other options (as much or as little as you can spare <3): Ven.mo: @rroche90 Pay.pal: Rory Roche (Can't miss my portrait of Dean Winchester!)

[toririvas]

first time listening to superpowereds year 1! welcome to the live blog, to be updated as i get through it.

I'm listening to the graphic audio version, if that matters.

Let's begin, I'm starting the liveblog on chapter 4 because I figured it was a good idea to document it. Also, it's a slow work day. Sue me.

First chapter is good at getting me intrigued. I have to say Vince is a solid protagonist, and his VA is fun. I just imagine him as a silver haired Miles Morales, 12fps and all. I'm intrigued with Nick because I goddamn love these types of characters. (If you've ever seen me tag stuff for Ike, you'd know.) I heard Nick and I'm immediately like, Nick Furcillo from supermassive games' The Quarry? Pretty hair, pretty face, and praying that's all you notice kind of boy. Tboy swag detected as well, I may just be projecting a little for him tho. Herschel... oh, I pick him up in my ARMS. I have a thing for the sweethearts, I really do, and I have a character that's kind of similar to him (always left to clean up the messes). The dynamic of him and Roy is. Well, it's sure a hell of a thing. Speaking of Roy, holy shit dude, chill. I get it, though, he's the literal representative of ego, blah blah- stop bullying your headmate>:/. MARY. Mary I am going to stare at you. Oh my god. I love weirdgirls. They have such swag. Hyper powerful weirdgirls? be still my beating heart. And, Aelwyn Aberna- I mean, Alice Adair... She's cool. I like the mean girl archetype. It's a vibe. I hope she goes feral like Regina George becoming a jock.

Okay, onto the actual plot.

Okay, it's a program to turn Powereds into Supers. I got that from my dad's summary and the back of the book. Cool.

Nick gave me vibes from the start. Why are you like this. I can tell you're sad, weirdo. Vince having clothes and a bed and being weirded out by it is heart wrenching. I didn't get what Herschel's deal was when I first listened so I just sort of accepted the Shifter thing. Alice is neat, Mary is weird. Cool. I've got the dynamic.

Combat training! That's typical, the placements make sense but the rule of five and the not being able to challenge the top five is... Weird? I guess the rule makes sense but not the waiting until the end of the year thing.

New side character, Sasha Foster. Speedster. Roommates with a Julia? Fun. Punky vibe. That's fun. She's into Vince, that's neat.

I'm skipping around a little because again, starting this late

Wow, Roy is a cunt and a half. That mf is friends with Mitch (NPCs) in another universe, I can feel it. Lmao, get stronger without your powers is his arc. Got it. Solid.

Did he... Charm someone into getting him into the bar? Does he have a fake ID JUST FOR HIMSELF? Insane.

Goddamn, going back to Casino night for a second, obsessed with the weird mind games of Nick and Mary. Like. He's so fucking weird. What's with his journaling? Why'd he delete it? The fucking sunglasses??? Is this some kind of fucking Mr. Spender moment (shout out to the 1 other Drew Hayes/Paranatural fan, who I am pretty sure does not follow this blog).

Poor Hersch and the damn mornings after. I hope he gets to be liked by someone genuinely.

Okay, back to chapter 4, will report back with thoughts.

Vince is awkward. We love this. Graphic audio funneled kiss noises directly into my ears. Disgusting.

Roy plans to fuck him up but hail mary, it's Mary. And she thinks Hersch is nice, so she's threatening Roy. Good for her. Holy shit, by the way, she's so scary. I'm in love for real. I just see her in my brain as kinda Allison Reynolds, kinda Lydia Deetz, kinda Eleven in terms of aesthetics, but she's Rose Lalonde in scaring the fuck out of people. God bless.

Wouldn't Herschel being officially classed as Super mean he has control over Roy appearing? Why isn't he forcing Roy into going/taking control when he doesn't do what's best for the host body? Anyway. Roy has a challenge now, let's see how this goes.

Chad stomped him, as I heard in the audio sample. Fuckin nice.

Midterm, huh? Okay. Twenty page paper and an ethics project. Interesting. Pairs? Nick and Alice, lmao. I think they're bitey at each other. That's hilarious.

Vince and Will. Cool! Everest is their project.

Hersch and... Alex the Jedi! Okay cool. The more I listen to Alex talk the more I'm like *Donald?*

Nick and Alice are fun. Love that there's jazzy music whenever Nick's brain is in focus.

Will has a twin, Jill. Wow. Okay fun. Will is a support member! Neat.

Jill vs Sasha. Sasha wins! Speedster makes sense. Fast healing, probably? Decent recovery.

Chess again. Hersch is getting better. Nice. Herschel is her rook, Vince is her bishop, Alice is her knight, and Nick is her king. Obviously, she's queen. Alice is so interesting. I hope they become girl best friends.

Girls day!

Movie night boys!

Vince: I'm gonna leave!

Mary: no you're fucking not.

AHA HE DOES HAVE A FAKE!! GOD. Alice is going to make plans. She has decided it. She has DECIDED it. Shut up, Nick, you *know* you wanna go to Halloween with her. Nerd ass.

Nick, flippantly, in the beginning of the book: Mary I have /trust issues/

Nick, upon realizing she was taking that as a personal project: well fuck me running.

Alice... Oh my god nobody's ever stood UP for her. She likes Mary!

Back to studying. Nick and Alice. Yeah. They have this "I know you"/"I refuse to be known" dynamic that flows both ways. They're getting together I'm calling it. Calling it!

Globe, huh? Big traitor? Alice's father is his old teammate? Fuckin SWAG

Alice is opening up? Nick is doing it in return? Fucking knew he didn't have parents tho. Motherless behavior, Nicky.

Defective? Oh, Alice...

Movie night. Uh. Will and Jill, Sasha and Vince. Uh. Zombie movies. Video store? When is this fucking set ???

HaLLOWEE- "Roy was either an ancient gladiator,or a male escort catering to a very specific fetish" i CACKLED

Nick's got some fuckin eyes. I know he does. I don't know what's wrong with them but this Strider mother fucker ain't flying under my radar.

Oh shit, okay, Michael is gonna attack Vince outside. That's not a blatant use of his power or anything. Feels...weird man.

Nick is being a hilarious wingman. Pft. "You realize there's no girls in earshot, right?" "yea them hoes be shutting us down." Wild.

Thomas? Okay, new guy shut this shit down. He's cool. He's a stickler. That's important for later.

Alice would be friends with Adaine Abernant. God. I love her. Autism wins again.

CHAD IS GLOBES KID? yep.

Coach wants to talk to Vince. I looove this. Scared of his own strength. Poor bishop. He has the Eyes! The Paladin Eyes! I say a lot about DH character archetypes but that man makes paladins I want to *love*. I've never met a paladin by him I DIDN'T love.

Vince's dad went to this school? Cool.

Updates to the Dean from Numbers.

Edit to add I think my last addition got deleted. Whatever. Started Nick's backstory flash. It's official, I love the cynic. Happens every time.

[divinefireangel]

Being in Quarantine with Justin H Min will include:

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: I'm back with my 2nd Justin HC 🥳. I know a few of you wanted me to write more so here you go! I hope you like it!!

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: A little bit sensual, but I've mentioned it as "NSFW" where it starts. Nothing explicit either way. 15+ and female readers TwT sorry (nothing specified with respect to appearance, etc of reader). It's mostly the NSFW part tho.

Fuck this man got more hot okay

I didn't even think it was possible lol

Yeah so you both go to Toronto for his work because you don't wanna be separated from each other 🥺

Literally all you do is sleep and eat and read

You cook new things everyday

You have to make the best of the time you have anyway

It's mostly him cooking cuz god knows if this man can cook or not lmao

Daily routine may include but not necessarily limited to :

Waking up late

He wakes up early to workout

Sometimes you pretend to sleep just to see him workout ;)

Then you both shower together

And read while cuddling on the couch

When the sunlight shows up you both move to the sofa and continue reading

Running your hands through his hair which is now a lil longer than the buzz cut tg

Giving each other massages

Mainly you giving him massages

Napping together

Tracing his biceps

Cuz he has never had them and you just wanna appreciate the effort he put in to make them bigger

Making his protein shake much more consumable than what ever the hell he does

You try and bake stuff for the cast and crew to take once the quarantine is over

How well it turns out is all you and your baking skills sis

You try to make boba

Doesn't come out great cuz it's difficult to make

You try and distract him from his zoom table reads lol

And you fail 💀

Cuz he ignores you :(

But as soon as he closes his laptop he runs to you and kisses your face all over till you start to giggle cuz this man's is a simp for you

See. You are young people with needs

NSFW

He has more needs 😉

So he tries to get his freak on as many times as he can

Before going to bed

On the sofa

The couch

The kitchen table

The shower

The fucking floor (pun intended)

Whenever he gets bored from reading or wants to take a break,

Make out sessions

sO MANY of em

Even if all you want is a kiss, he's like no, no you don't

And BAM

Y'all make out till you can't breathe anymore

Biting his lip

Biting his ear

Chewing on his gold chain

Pulling his gold chain

Are a few highlights 🤤

And just imagine him running his hands up and down you

Like your waist and hips and butt and back and boobs and stuff uk

That freaky shit XD

He just can't get enough of you

Watching movies before falling asleep

Well trying to

Because he can't keep his hands to himself

Lingering touches that seem innocent but are not

I feel like his fave cuddle positions are when either you or him are laying in the other's lap

Or when your back is pressed to his chest

That's mainly when he gets handsy

Runs his fingertips through your hair and shoulders and down your hand till he reaches you palm

Pulls it back and kisses the back of it and intertwines his fingers with yours brb crying

Kisses and licks your neck when you are sitting like that

You can literally feel those fangs scarping your skin

It's just plain hot

NSFW over

Tries to put his face in the crook of your neck often

You whine cuz his non existent beard is prickly

But he does it anyway cuz it's cute and he knows it

Taking tons and tons and TONS of selfies

Sending them to his fam

Them being oh so adorable and loving your relationship

You kiss his jaw a lot

Cuz it's sharper now and that's also probably the height you can reach anyway (Calling all short ones out here ✌🏽)

Having deep talks too if you have time left after all of this lol

And everyday falling in love all over and over

If you've been dating for a while, he probably decides to propose as soon as he finds a ring worthy of you 🥺

Since he wakes up before you, he will definitely stare at you while you sleep

Baby boy might even tear up thinking that he can never love anyone as much as you 😭

And you feel the same way

Screen shot credit:- Me

Honestly all this is that goddamn insta story's fault.

Look at him 🥵

Update: He can't cook even if his life depended on it 😂😭 It's okay babe I can cook for you XD.

Gifs/any media belongs to rightful owners.

[cryptid-s-wips]

MBP: NaNoWriMo Update #4 - The Final One

Wordcount: 11,269 / 50k

NaNoWriMo really... fell at an unfortunate time this year. I'd use more colorful language, but I want to keep this blog at least a little bit decent. So no, I didn't finish NaNoWriMo this year, and you know what? That's okay.

Because I accomplished my goal of being creative more regularly and devoting time to a new WIP. A lot of things happened this month that were out of my control, and it made it really difficult to write, but I'm proud that I got as far as I did. I mean, 11k! That's a lot of words! Take that, executive dysfunction!

I'm definitely going to continue this WIP. WtRL might have to go onto the back burner for now as I work on this and H2H.

Some updates:

James finally figured it out. It's a time loop! And the student escaped

And all he has to figure out is how the student did It and how James and Elliot might recreate it.

So that's a big moment!

I'm definitely going to have to go back and fill out some parts of the story because it's feeling kind of thin. I feel like I'm really far along in the plot without being that far along wordcount-wise. I tend to be like that though, especially with a time constraint, and now that I have more freedom to write whenever, I'll hopefully be able to do more.

As always, Taglist and Excerpt below the cut:

Excerpt (cw swearing):

The heavy oak doors of the chapel give way as I saunter in. It’s quiet, every little sound I make reflecting off of the grey stone walls and bouncing around the wooden pews. Light streams in through the stained glass windows, dying the floors into a kaleidoscope of colors. Much nicer than all the pictures of saints they’re supposed to be.

Sitting in one of the pews is a head of messy black hair I’d recognize anywhere. Elliot.

I slide into the pew next to him, not looking him in the eye. “I read it, you know. It wasn’t all for nothing.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.” I sigh and smile, closing my eyes as I slide down in the pew. “He escaped. The son of a bitch isn’t in the records because he escaped. He did it. And I can’t even remember enough to figure out how the hell he managed it.”

Elliot sits up. “Wait. You’ve never met the chap, right? The fuck do you mean, remember?”

A chuckle turns into a laugh turns into a cackle. He’s not going to believe me. Hell, I didn’t believe me. But it’s worth a shot. “It’s a goddamn time loop Elliot. Some Asimov shit. The school is stuck in a time loop and this son of a bitch escaped and I swear to God if I don’t figure out some way to recreate it I’m going to lose it, Elliot.” I turn and grab him by the shoulders, looking into his eyes, probably seeming stark-raving mad. “I know it sounds crazy. But, Elliot. It’s our chance. We can get out.”

Elliot just stares at me, his mouth open in shock. I grin and reach into my pocket to hand him the file folder. He stares at it for a moment, before finally opening it and flipping through the pages, his eyes darting across every page with more and more intensity the further he gets through it. He looks back up at me and laughs. “You son of a bitch. You’ve done it.”

He jumps up, dragging me with him, and hugs me. Second time in the past two days. And possibly second time ever.

“I told you it wasn’t for nothing,” I say into the shoulder of his sweater.

“I knew,” He replies, “I knew it wasn’t for nothing.” He pushes me back and stares into my eyes, his hands on my shoulders as mine are on his. “We’re getting out of this place, James. We’re getting out and once we do we’re never fucking looking back.”

Taglist (lmk if you want to be +/-):

@zoya-writes (Thank you so much for being so supportive this whole time! <333), @strangerays

[silvermuffins]

NieR:Automata: oof, been a hot minute

Let me hit up two big topics before we dive in, for the maybe five people who will read this and the one of you who was awaiting this but already knows the deal: Firstly, the five month absence of anything from me was the result of work getting super busy (STOP MAKING YOUR MOVIES TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG, HOLLYWOOD, NOBODY ACTUALLY WANTS THAT). My other hobbies also got busy. And, well, both getting the PS4 going and liveblogging as I play games took more spoons than I was left with. Things are finally kind of chill again, at least for now, AND the two cats who pilot my meaty contraption actually agree on what to do, so here I am! Secondly, my laptop's keyboard is kind of fucky and some specific keys ain't workin' right. They are: A D B N X , . / - and enter. We may see some typos, folks! Or some completely incomprehensible bits, won't that be fun!

ANYWAY, let's get into it!

haven't even started the game, have no memory of where i'm at so we're just gonna Go

man i need a less awk setup

oh right fuck i got new internet and need to hook my ps4 up to it

hot damn i actually remember the new wifi password. doot doot updates and shit, probably shoulda done this before i started the post but you know what, I have never once in my life not been a disaster so why would i suddenly start now

okay NOW we Go

see if i even remember how to play

probably not

i have sidequests to turn in!

gee this map really is a lot bigger than i got to explore the first time through the game....hmmm

being friends with the meeses now really do be like "/walks out of vending machine" "/suddenly, MOOSE"

this leadup suggests either i am going to have to fight Jackass or she is going to explode me

i am pretty sure there is lore somewhere in this game as to why there is no day/night cycle but fuck if i have found it

found the Cruel Blood Oath! I am excited for this sword purely because my bestie and I used it for something in some of our secret fandom shenanigans--

i feel like this "project gestalt" is going to be relevant somehow

anyway i found jackass and it feels weird because i think even without the whole....alternate runthrough thing we've technically met her before

9S sweetheart please don't try to lie, you're bad at it

speed star wont talk to me which is fine because i suck at his quest anyway

fuck you, sir star

oh right this sidequest was shaping up to make me feel weird in the moral bits, like several others have done

Type-E?

ooooh

oooooooooh

dont like that

creepy chant starts up!

............i have questions about if those she was ordered to kill were really deserters

..............

well. at least she DID pay me.

2B did not confirm she didn't know

time to have a go at Daddy Serves

......i regret typing that but fuck it it's staying in

so he has 10 levels on me but i fight well and have healing items

.....sir are you going to just, have me cutscene kill you, or do i gotta get through another hp bar first?

iiiiiit's the latter

anyway pascal gave me monies thank u pascal

....wait what was i supposed to do to progress plot again? where do i find that out??? is there a main quest tracker somewhere???

literally right on the front of the goddamned menu letty be less stupid

....i don't have much to say to this part, okay, i already did it as 2B

i sorta wish i could find a list of the sidequests that are only completable as 9S? and maybe of the hackable things. just for completion's sake.

my cat really wants snuggles but has something against bent knees so she won't lapcat

forgot a dead machine's head hatches into emil

wha

flashback to the forest king founding....

time to finish off the photographs sidequest! see if this one will make me feel uncomfy in the moral bits,

it did not!

but as usual it was pretty existential

....i am losing steam i think imma call it here tonight

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.4

I wanna be an intern too, you ragedy ann looking ass hoe 😠



Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

All goes well when you are ignorant is what my dear best friend would say to me now, as I sit in the very back of the class unfocused on how our teacher is introducing an activity I have no chance of participating in. All I knew was that when Mr. Aizawa walked up to the board and wrote names of people getting offers, I wasn't one of them. Not that I expected to be, considering I wasn't in the sports festival, let alone the school at all back then. 

However, I did notice a small inconsistency in the order of the most offers. I was pretty sure that boom boom had gotten first place in the festival, him being there is what convinced me to transfer, but his name was actually second on the board. 

Todoroki had taken the place of first as far as offers were concerned. Todoroki the nice boy who I used to meet when I snuck away from my fucking prison cell. Call me privileged for complaining about living in a mansion All my life, but I much prefer being here. With common folk. They ground me. 

I peeked up from my phone at the red and white head of hair in front of me, he didn't seem all that fazed. Although maybe it was just the lack of seeing his face that made me believe he couldn't care less about all but one of those offers. Still, his business is his, and my business is the new Ao3 update on my favorite chrollo lucilfer fanfiction. What a babe. 

I decided that the class as of right now would be of no importance to me, considering I will have no offers, and bakugou-the reason I came here- hates me like I'm a piece of gum stuck under his shoe.  Through that conclusion I allowed myself to dissolve into the world of hxh and forget about how boring this world is. 

Could my power beat Killua or go in a fight? I mean, it doesn't enhance my strength like they did trying to get into Killua's house so physically they must be stronger. 

"Y/n! Is there something you would like to share with the class?"

Mr.Aizawas voice seemed almost shot at me as my gaze rose from my phone in my lap to meet him at the front of the room. He looked displeased to say the least. Well good for him, im displeased too, I might not be able to beat a fucking twelve year old in combat. 

"Huh?"

"You were grumbling, what's so important you had to tell us, hm?"

I thought it through for a second- just kidding, I never think anything through. 

"Oh, well I wasn't sure if I could beat Gon in a fight, but I'm not coming to the realization that if Chrollo is my boyfriend, I shouldn't have to fight anyone at all. I can just be a pretty face in the backgrounds and then after he wins for me i'll suck his-"

"Enough, y/n." Mr.Aizawa no longer held a tired looking face, his eyes were wide and an uncomfortable cringed was set on his face. As I peered at the rest of the class many also had shocked eyes, but unlike our teacher, held faint blushes. 

Minus midoriya, his face was completely red and his eyes void of life. I must've killed him, huh. 

"Wait!"

In an attempt to regain some dignity, I tried to correct myself.

"I would....not suck his-?"

"Don't even say it, shitty princess !"

"Woah bakugou, you spoke to me on purpose!?"

"Shut up!"

"Hey, how come you call me princess, you like me or something?"

He growled at that, neither of us paying mind to the fact that everyone in the class was either dead from nosebleeds or extremely uncomfortable and staring at us.  

"Its cuz you act fucking entitled like a princess"

"I'll be your pillow princes-"

"Enough!" A robotic-like hand sliced the air in front of me. The voice sounded firm, almost more teacher-like than our teacher's voice. I followed my gaze up the hand, not failing to notice how as I drew up the guy's arm his muscles only seemed to get bigger and bigger and- iida? 

"Oh class rep-"

"Y/n this vulgar language and border-line harassment needs to cease immediately. I will not tolerante overtly sexual language and acts in this class-"

As he was speaking I noticed something ironic about the situation. If everyone here didn't like sexual jokes or banter, how were they so flustered at comments that objectively should be unknown to them. 

"How did you know what I meant, iida?" I rasped in a low sultry voice, allowing my fingers to dance up his arm starting at the wrist in front of my face. 

I heard a few chuckles from, who I would say are the only two people enjoying this situation: kaminari and...stinky mineta. Iida's face grew more red than previously and the arms in front of me began shaking. 

"Mr.Aizawa it seems I've disarmed the robot. Is there a restart button or something?" I question with a serious face using the search as an excuse to wonder my eyes all over his body. Perverted? Yes. Rightfully attracted to this giant hunk of a nerd. Yes ×10. 

"No, there is not." Todoroki, who was in front of me, finally turned around to address me. I guess he was unfazed by my words. Looks like someone here can be cool. Whether he is okay because he is more comfortable with sexual jokes, or because he has yet to pick up on them, its nice that somebody in here can still function. Otherwise, I'd feel like a nuisance. 

"Y/n I'm not really sure how to- let's just say to have detention with your m- midnight. Detention. Yeah." Aizawa publicly convinced himself of my punishment? 

"Okay"

"Now, back to this, even if you didn't get any offers ALL of you will have an internship" 

And so went on the class, kids chose their hero names, not me though. I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a hero at all, this was just a little less boring and sad than the way I lived before. This school had people who laughed in joy, not just to mask the pain. That was the real benefit, not being a hero, or being strong. Likely no one here realized that there were many places where none of this joy was possible. 

Some of the kids in class gave me suggestions for a hero name, but I didn't like them anyway. They lacked personality, and while I have many adjectives to describe my personality, my life, none of them are all that heroic. 

"Dark element"

"Girl who will die if her quirk doesnt like its environment" 

See, I'm not the best at this. Even bakugan names had some sense to it...well no. I'd say we're about the same, but still. Ugh. 

~timeskip~ 

Bakugou pov 😠

She came up with no hero names. Fucking entitled brat. Everyone at this lunch table seems to have no problem with the fact that she is here, just happy to have another pair of tits to stare at like perverts. Their gross. I bet she doesn't even want to be a hero, she sure as hell doesn't act like it. We don't even know what her whole quirk is. Ive seen her do that plant shit a couple times, fucking with flowers or whatever. Still, there's more to it. Something we don't know, at least. Cuz in the middle of class she gets up and whispers to Aizawa and he just lets her go. Where the fuck does she go? 

Interrupts class, got into the school because her moms a teacher, won't use her quirk. What a nuisance, I can't believe she is not expelled yet. Plus those bullshit sex jokes are so shitty. She is obviously faking something when she does them. Not like midnight, who always at least seems like she means that gross shit. 

"Hey, who did you guys choose for your internship? I haven't chosen yet."

"The number three hero guy," I spoke, knowing I'm the only person here who already chose. 

"Really? Best jeanist! That's so cool, but are you sure that for you bakugou?" Shitty hair raised a shitty brow at me. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?"

"Just that he seems pretty...uptight..for you?" Dunceface added, but he spoke like it was a question. Of course he is the hero for me, he is the highest ranting hero on my list. If I wanna be number one, I gotta train with the best. 

If I go to his agency I'm sure there will be a lot more action, since he is so high ranking. Then i'll get some real experience kicking villain ass, well, other than the USJ. 

"Of course he is the right option!"

"Woahhh~"

Shit. It's her voice. I honestly should applaud her for using it less often around me but, how can one small girl be so goddamn annoying. I don't even know what she has to say and I already wish she would just put a sock in it. How can someone so entitled like her, probably never had to lift a finger, walk  over here and talk like she has something to say. 

"You're working with the best jeanist! So cool, one time he saved me from a group of rapist guys, it was awesome with all these strings everywhere and I could only see half of his face. Oh and he had goofy hair too!"

Oh. I didn't really know how to respond to the girl who looked so excited about almost being violated. Another thing wrong with her? I looked back at the other people at the table to see if they knew how to respond to something like that. 

Dunceface was frozen, tape arms were frozen, shitty hair was frozen, and alíen eyes were looking like a lost puppy and trying not to cry. 

It didnt seem like the shutty princess was exactly understanding how what she just yelled was making things weird. She just stood there expectantly. She kinda looked like she thought being raped was something that must happen to everyone. Did she think that? Wouldn't put it past her weird ass. 

"Uhm...anyways, i'm sure you'll do awesome, he likes to put boys in tight jeans. Wish I could intern too, I'd love to see that boom boom~" she winked. 

A perverted joke...and then she had the audacity to wink at me. 

"You wish you could see me in tight jeans, shitty extra!"

"I know...thats what a I just said." She dead panned, blinking a couple times at me. 

"Tch, screw you!"

"I would-" 

"Can it, i don't wanna hear your shitty voice anymore"

The girl stopped herself after my words, pushing all her hair behind her head, except for the two blond stands in the front. 

(You don't have to acknowledge these if you don't want, but I made it so that they change color depending on what element your using and I thought it was hot*if you have short hair, then you just got a lil nishinoya type thing 🥰)

Lifted her obnoxious hands that moved around while she talked and made a zipper-like motion over her lips. Then she just stood there looking at me. I really wanted to just let her stand there and go back to eating. Ignore her completely and let her hope fizzle out and die or something like that. 

Yet here I am, still looking at her. Silently. Wishing she made a stupid joke so that I could stop flickering between those images I'd seen of her dancing. How even though ballet is a princess fucking dance, the pictures felt nice. Like if I was watching it live I would probably be unable to criticize it. That pissed me off, because I want to hate everything about her, but I can't hate those photos. Where she looks like she is flying, without any need for a quirk.

I see her in that weird gown, and now, in the UA uniform. I see her looking respectable, formal, and serious. Then I see her stupid little smirk as she takes pride in being able to shut up for more than a minute. 

"Why are you still standing there?"

Instead of answering, she took her hand up again, made a pinch with her fingers and unzipped her mouth. 

"I was enjoying the look in your eyes."she smiled. 

The look in my eyes? Could she tell I was seeing two different people? What the hell does that even mean? Even said it without that shitty flirt voice. Like she meant it. 

"You tryna make fun of me?"I stood up from the table to get in her face.

"Not right now, maybe later, I gotta do something." She smiled sincerely at me, for a second as she walked away, I forgot about how this conversation started. What a wierd fucking girl. I'll never respect her as a hero. Tch. (Yes, its canon he tchs even in his thoughts) 

3rd person POV 

Y/n briskly walked out of the cafeteria with a new goal in mind. She would come to remember how maybe being oblivious was a benefit in some ways, but for now, she had a clear plan .

"Mr.Aizawa, let me do an internship."

"You weren't in the festival, I can't just hand you to a hero who has no idea what you can do, y/n."

"Well, you know what I can do, right?"

"No. I'm not doing internships. Stop asking."

"That's not what I meant! You can just tell them, or I could, it's not that hard to explain. Just say i'm all- powerful or some play on words like 'she's got all the right elements' hehe, see how i mimicked your voice there?" Y/n grinned like a child. She was proud of herself. 

"No. Still not happening."

"I wanna be an intern too, you raggedy ann looking ass hoe" 

"Y/n, it doesn't make sense, insulting me to get what you want?"

"Maybe it doesn't, but I bet you feel real insecure about your hair right now."

"You already have detention, what more do you want!"

"An internship, I wanna do one with kamui Woods, I have a good reason, too. As far as my quirk control, i'm the weakest with earth, the aspect that allows me to grow and manipulate plants and stuff. That's why I've only been using that part of it all month. Im trying to get her up to speed so I can start using all four at once. He is like a tres guy, right? He manipulates earth all day long. He could teach me a lot, and that aspect of my quirk would suit his well. Please!?!?!?"

If the girl had just asked again in a normal way, his answer would have been the same. However Aizawa was taken aback to hear how much thought she put into this. From the stories of the teachers lounge, he came to understand her big life goal, was to rely fully on a rich man or woman, and do nothing at all forever. Just to try and forget about the terrible life she was destined to have because of that quirk.

This side of her was something he could not even her mother had seen, and it prompted him to speak those words she wanted to hear so badly.

"Fine." 

[staytiny-angel]

The Demon's Lair - Part 1

Rating: E overall T for this chapter

Main Pairing - Seth Rollins/Becky Lynch (be prepared they aren't monogamous quite yet)

Warnings: Mentioned Kidnapping, Murder, hints at symptoms of PTSD, Flogging,(super vague tho, )

Summary - Seth returns to The Lair after a month away on a mercenary mission to learn things aren't quite the way he left them.

Authors Note: I don't know what the fuck happened, I swore I was just gonna write a bunch of kinky smut. That was the plan but it grew a damn plot. A real one, not just a flimsy frame but a whole ass mansion. So I'm just gonna write a story and see where it takes me. Probably gonna come up with some sort of update schedule for this, Chase and Safe Haven.

Taglist: @askauradonprep @swifteforeverandalways @rxllynch @riottbliss @nothingbutmeworld @axelwolf8109 @biforbecky2belts @neversatisfiedgirl @superrezzy00 @nicolewoo

Seth exited his town car in the dim Brooklyn alley stretching and cracking his neck, stiff after an 11-hour day behind his desk, followed by 7 hours passed out on his office couch "Pick you up at 3 like always Mr. Rollins?" his driver asked.

"Yes, thank you Joey" Seth responded, handing the man a hundred dollar bill, "Why don't you pick up Jamie and the two of you have a nice dinner on me while you wait?"

"I think he'll like that, thank you, Mr. Rollins, Sir" Joey replied before pulling off and leaving Seth at a blood-red door with black script reading The Demon's Lair.

Seth both loved and hated the Lair. In many ways, the kink club was the only place he felt like himself. Where he could drop the facade he wore in his professional life and even with his family to an extent, but he hated it too. He hated that even though he felt so at home there and had plenty of wonderful friends and sometimes lovers…nobody seemed to want to keep him.

Breaking out of his increasingly morose thoughts, Seth used his member's card to unlock the door to the Lair and slipped inside. He'd been in the Middle East for several weeks, meaning he'd been 'On' the entire time and was absolutely looking forward to taking off his mask and letting the real Seth out to play.

"Sethie!" The pink-haired girl at the front desk yelled in happiness "I missed you!"

"Sup, Livvy" Seth replied with an easy grin as all the tension seemed to drop off his shoulders as he mentally locked the corporate shark in its tank for the next 6 hours.

The hyperactive submissive had standing permission from her Domme to hug on Seth whenever she wanted so she dashed around the desk and practically tossed herself into the older man's arms. "Miss Ruby said you were in the bad place for the last month so all the hugs for you," she says quietly

"Thank you sweetie pie," Seth whispered in her ear. "I'm just glad to be back," He says louder letting go of her. "So what I miss, any dirt?" he asks as he strips off his suit jacket and tie and then rolls up his sleeve.

"So we finally met Master Balor's mysterious protege." She tells her friend as she takes his cuffs out of a locked case beneath the desk.

"He told me he had asked her to come here. Something about a bad break up." Seth replied, "What's she like?"

"Miss Rebecca is here tonight tending the bar since Devvie is back in school right now, she has a thicker accent then Master Balor's, bright orange hair and she's really pretty. " Liv continues

Seth easily buckles the black leather cuffs with their inlaid red hearts onto his wrists, brushing his thumb over the words worked into the leather "Who's around that might want to play with me?"

"Master Balor and Miss Violet are waiting for you. Miss Renee tattled on you, babe." Liv says with a smile "Naughty Sethie you were supposed to go home and sleep." She teases wagging a finger at him "Now you're in tro-uble" she sings

Seth huffed and muttered under his breath "Bossy fucking Doms." While he, Finn and Violet weren't a permanent triad, the two switches did take care of him, trying to make sure the workaholic took care of himself at least somewhat. And since the pair had quite literally kept Seth from drinking himself to death after his 3 tours in Afghanistan, he did try least try to listen to them. Not that it always happened but at least he TRIED.

Liv shook her head and giggled "Yeah, have fun with that. I've got the desk for another hour and then its Moxie's turn.

Seth walked into the club properly and looked to see who was around, heading over toward the fireplace when he caught a glimpse of his Personal Assistant sitting in a club chair, her two submissives sitting at her feet. Easily kneeling alongside Roman and Mox, he smirked up at her "You are a goddamn tattletale, Miss Renee."

Renee Moxley tapped her boss's nose with the riding crop in her left hand, "You were supposed to go back to the penthouse and sleep when you got back from Saudi Arabia. Instead, you spent 11 hours in the office, of course, I told them"

"Finn and Violet are waiting for you downstairs, you have a demon to contend with."

"Son of a bitch, really?" Seth's head dropped. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. He's THAT pissed at me?"

"You passed out in the office from exhaustion AGAIN." Roman told his best friend quietly "I had to pick your ass up off the floor and put you on the couch. Did you really think no one was gonna tell the only two people you MIGHT listen to?"

Renee gestured with the crop for Seth to stand up, "Go on, don't keep them waiting" the Domme told him sternly

Now knowing that he was in deep shit, Seth quickly headed to the stairs, only casting a distracted look at the orange-haired woman behind the bar talking to Master Orton and Ember Moon.

When Seth entered Finn and Violet's private dungeon he gulped audibly because sitting in the plush red and black throne like a chair with Violet on his lap wasn't his slightly goofy friend Finn, but King Balor in full on warpaint.

"Oh…look Mon Roi, it's a naughty kitten," The blue-haired woman dressed in a black and red corset, stockings and tall heeled boots said quietly

"Kneel, Little Prince," Balor orders "and explain why Lady Renee called to tell me you disobeyed one of the few things we ask of you"

"My Liege, I slept on the plane on the way home. By the time I arrived in New York my inbox was full, I figured I would work for a few hours and then go home, but I lost track of time and the next thing I knew Moxley was waking me saying you had requested my presence"

"Kitten, we are not your Masters, but you requested this arrangement to help you stay healthy and safe after last summer's incident," Violet says quietly "Yet you disobeyed. Lady Renee said that Roman had to pick you up off of your office floor because you passed out. She had your private doctor come and check you and you didn't even wake up. You aren't taking care of yourself"

Seth opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Balor "Not another word Little Prince, you know very well you've earned yourself quite the punishment"

'Well, fuck' Seth thought to himself as he knelt in front of the throne after having been stripped of his black dress shirt and his hands cuffed behind his back as Violet circled him holding a flogger, Balor still sitting there watching avidly.

"This was supposed to be your welcome home present." She sighed "But someone decided to be a bad little prince"

"I'm sorry my Queen" Seth mumbled "This last mission…it was a lot."

"You are supposed to tell us when you feel these urges to work yourself half to death. Especially after solo missions, was that not the agreement that was made after you almost….left us last year?" Balor says quietly, voice filled with emotion

Seth winced at the mention of last summer, It had been a workday much like today but instead of someone picking him up, he'd tried to drive himself home. Seth had fallen asleep at the wheel and the subsequent accident had nearly ended his life. Now Seth never drove himself after long days at work and he'd hired Joey and his husband Jamie to be his drivers.

"Do you know how scared we were? Renee called us and said you were on the floor, not moving" Violet told him "Are you injured from your mission other then the scrapes and bruises I see?"

"No your majesty" Seth answered quietly

"Then 20, Little Prince. 10 from each of us" then we'll go upstairs to the bar and you can meet Rebecca. You will be nice about showing her your ways. Or we'll end up right back down here. Understand?" Balor commanded

"Yes My Liege" Seth replied quietly

Seth barely heard the whistle of the flogger before the first blow hit his back.

His King and Queen didn't have to know that at least for this time he'd pushed himself on purpose, wanting to not think about what he'd had to do to get a young girl back to her family, He rarely took on mercenary missions himself anymore for this very reason. The damage the killing and violence took took on his mental health was terrible and he wasn't coping well but his mother…his mother had asked a favor for a friend of a friend who's daughter had been kidnapped.

So Seth went and a month later he'd returned. The girl alive, her captor and his people very much dead and he with more blood-soaked memories he'd prefer not to have.

[badwolf-in-the-impala]

~Whiskey Lullaby~

~Chapter 8~

||Previous Chapter ||

Image Credit: Me. Pictures not mine obviously, but the collage is.

Rating: Mature/18+

Warnings: Alcohol and drug abuse, violence, suggested sexual/physical abuse, kidnapping, sexual content, angst.

Chapter Warnings: None

A/N: Sorry it’s been a while since I updated last! I’ve had an insane case of writers block that has been kicking my ass. Anywho, I hope you enjoy! There’s a new character, Tawni, introduced in this chapter, portrayed by the lovely @jacksonroth, who actually came up with the idea of a cross over between her own SOA fic and this one! So hop on over and check out ‘This Charming Life’ and show her some love!

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Music blared from the speakers of the stereo she set up outside in the storage unit. Teagan moving outside to work on the Chevelle some more after finishing up the last of her stress cleaning endeavor, having taken it upon herself after the guys left to spend the rest of the morning elbows deep in reorganizing the entire bar and kitchen areas, using it as a way to distract herself from the anxiety that still loomed at the back of her mind.

Until Gemma came back in from the office at least, taken aback at first by how much Teagan had managed to accomplish in just a few short hours. “You need a better hobby, Sweetheart.” She had stated sarcastically as she poured herself some more coffee.

“C’mon now, out with you.” She shooed Teagan out the back the door. “Delivery guy just dropped off a shit load of parts for your car. Go do something more productive, that doesn’t end in me having to explain to Clay why the Clubhouse got redecorated!”

And now here she sat, unboxing and organizing parts in the order they needed to be used. Knowing she couldn’t get much done work wise without having a second pair of hands, and with everyone gone for the day she was burnt on actually accomplishing anything. As she stood, beginning to organize all her parts, dragging one of the tool boxes over, she jumped as the storage door rattled as it was slid up and opened.

“For fuck’s sake, Gemma! I’m fine in here! You didn't want me in the clubhouse, you didn't want me cleaning...what else is there to-” As Teagan ranted at ‘Gemma’ she ground the heels of her palms into her eyes as she turned. When she finally lowered her hands, the black spots soon fading, she stopped short, staring at the dark, curly haired woman smirking at her, green eyes burning in excitement.

“Last I checked,” She started, waltzing into the room, stepping over the scattered car parts. “I only looked like Gemma?”

“Holy fuck. Tawni! What the hell are you doing here?!” Teagan cried, making her way over to her and wrapping her arms around her neck, both women squealing in delight as they hugged.

“Well, I just got back from my trip.” Tawni said as she let go of her friend. “I was up in Washington for a while, checking on a few friends. I was going to come down with Kozik, but shit got tied up.” Tawni gave a shrug as she spoke, shoving her hands into her back pocket. Teagan chuckled and shook her head, stepping back to lean against the car with a sigh.

“Well, shit. It’s still good to see you.” Teagan sighed. Tawni smiled and nodded in return.

“Yeah, you too. When did you blow back into town?” Tawni asked, looking around at all the parts, picking up a few to inspect them. Teagan smirked and swiped the part from her hands, setting it aside with a snide smirk, making Tawni giggle.

“Is that supposed to be funny?” She teased. Tawni smirked, realizing what she meant.

“Hey, honey. If the boot fits?” She teased back as Teagan chuckled and shook her head.

“It’s a long fucking story.” Teagan stated, gesturing to her still healing face. “One that I’m fairly certain calls for a drink...or a bottle. That’s up to you.” She smirked.

Tawni gave a low whistle and stepped closer, touching her face gingerly. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Who the fuck did ye piss off, Teage?” Tawni asked, a subtle hint of her accent coming through.

“Some of Darby’s dipshit crew members...Bradley to be exact.” Teagan replied with a small sneer at the memory that was still fresh in her mind.

“Bradley. Tha’ fuckin’ snake. Hasn’ he gotten ‘imself killed yet?!” Tawni cried with a sneer of her own before she went to Teagan and slid her arms around her neck, pressing her cheek to hers. “‘M’sorry, babe. Wish I was here when it happened, I would have kicked his arse.”

Teagan chuckled in response and shooed Tawni away, making her giggle. “It’s cool...he’ll get what’s comin’ to him sooner or later.” She replied with a sly smirk. “You said hi to Gem yet?”

Tawni giggled and shook her head. “No. I saw your ‘Quinn’ girl parked out front where the other bikes usually are, and I had to come see you first.” Tawni giggled with a small smirk. “Besides, I see Gemma all the time. I’m nothing new.”

“Well, it’ll be a goddamn miracle she doesn’t call out the entire Charming Police force when she sees us walk in together.” Teagan gave a small laugh as she wrapped an arm around Tawni’s shoulder and tugged her forward towards the Clubhouse. Tawni laughed as well, sliding her arm around Teagan’s waist.

“Oh, please. We were not that bad...it was a few bitch fights, that’s all.” Tawni said. Her lips twisted up in a smirk as she added, “Besides, we were still friends after it.”

“True…except for that one time I hotwired the Principles car and we spent two days in Juvie. You didn’t speak to me for like a week.” Teagan mused with a thoughtful and mischievous grin. “But memory lane aside, it’s a shame I busted ass all morning cleaning the bar…’cause that shit’s about to get wrecked!”

Tawni tossed back her head and laughed, Teagan giggling as the two women walked and talked their way to the clubhouse. Gemma looked up at the sound and went to the door of the office, leaning against it, smirk on her face as she shook her head.

“Oh. Shit.” Gemma muttered.

~

It was late, around 2am, when the guys finally rolled back into the lot at Teller-Morrow, finding it extremely unusual when they noticed the loud music bumping from the Clubhouse the second they cut the engines of their bikes. A round of questioning glances making its way through the group.

“What in the hell is going on here?” Clay muttered in a disgruntled tone as they made their way to the door, pausing briefly just outside at the sounds of the loud drunken laughter that could be heard from inside over the music that was blaring. Clay turning to fix Tig with a glare, hand on the door waiting to open it.

“Why the hell you lookin’ at me?” Tig stated defensively.

“Maybe because she’s your Sister.” Clay ground out between clenched teeth, not in the mood to deal with whatever nonsense was happening on the other side of the door.

“Jesus…” Tig muttered under his breath as he stepped forward, Clay opening the door and gesturing for him to enter first as he stepped aside. Tig groaned outwardly at the scene that lay out before him as he stepped inside, shaking his head, the rest of the guys entering cautiously behind him.

“TIGGY!” The two women exclaimed -- Teagan with a little less enthusiasm -- from where they sat on the bar. Tawni climbing over the top of Teagan, using her as a foothold as she climbed down upon spotting her Uncle; Chibs. Hugging Tig briefly before nearly tackling the Scotsman that stood directly behind him.

“Jesus...are you high?” Tig questioned as he approached his Sister who was now struggling to climb down off the bar, watching as she slipped, landing on the floor with an audible ‘THUD’.

“Teagan…” She corrected drunkenly as he reached down and pulled her up, steadying her as she swayed a little. “And as a fuckin’ kite.”

“The hell you guys doin’ havin’ a party without us, anyway?” Jax inquired with a curious grin as he propped a elbow against the bar, plucking one of the half smoked blunts from an ashtray and relighting it to take a hit.

“T-Think of it as a loooong awaited reunion of BFF’s.” Tawni chimed in drunkenly before dissolving into a fit of uncontrollable giggles that Teagan soon became a part of. Tig turning to share a scathing look with Chibs.

“Aye, well, as lovely as tha’ is; party’s over. Time for bed Lassies.” Chibs stated as he ushered Tawni forward towards the hallway, ignoring both her and Teagan’s protesting, which was eventually silenced by a stern look from Clay.

“Fiiiiiiiiiiiine.” They both whined in unison.

“You two can continue your little ‘celebration’ some other time.” Clay stated flatly as he headed for the door of the Chapel. “But in the meantime, party’s over.”

~

“Looks like you two had quite a night.” Gemma stated sarcastically as she entered the Clubhouse to find both Teagan and Tawni, trash bags in hand, cleaning up their mess from the night before. Both girls groaning in disapproval at the intrusion of sunlight that the open door was providing as Gemma purposely held it open for longer than necessary.

“Don’t remind me…” Teagan all but gagged as she covered her mouth with the back of her hand, pausing her cleaning efforts for a moment as she struggled not to be sick. “I can still taste the tequila.”

“So I suppose a round o’whiskies is ou’ of the question this mornin’, then?” Chibs chimed in sarcastically as he rounded the corner of the hallway and entered the room, leaning up against the bar with an amused grin as he watched them.

“Why you gotta be like that?” Tawni whined as she turned to glare at her Uncle. His grin widening as he glanced behind her to find Teagan, staring him down what he assumed was supposed to be a menacing look, but her disheveled appearance only made it all the more amusing. Chibs coughing into his hand to cover up a laugh as she rolled her eyes and went back to cleaning up empty beer bottles as Tawni turned around to do the same.

“Well, as entertaining as this is,” Gemma mused as she passed through the room to the kitchen, no doubt heading for a cup of coffee. “I’ve got work to do. Which reminds me, there’s a couple of rigs need picking up in town, when you get the chance. I have the paperwork in the office.” She added, stopping in front a Chibs for a moment, giving him her own look before continuing on to the kitchen.

“Aye.” Chibs sighed as he pushed away from the bar and started towards the door. “Ye lassies try not to have too much fun now, ye hear.” He teased, ducking to avoid the stray boot that was aimed at his head by his Niece as she started shouting -- what Teagan only assumed to be expletives -- at him in Gaelic. Chibs’ laughter echoing through the Clubhouse, even after the door had swung shut behind him as he headed for the shop.

“I need a shower...and about eight more hours of sleep.” Tawni mumbled as she retrieved her boot, tugging it back on before returning to finish clearing off the bar, Teagan wiping it down behind her as they finished cleaning up in mutual silence for the sake of the roaring headaches that plagued them both from the previous nights events. Teagan finally taking a seat and resting her forehead against the coolness of the bar top when Gemma hollered at her from the kitchen.

“For the love of God...just put me out of my misery already.” Teagan groaned as she slid off of the barstool to see what Gem needed.

“As fun as that sounds, I feel like a shower is of greater priority at the moment.” Tawni gave a smirk as she patted Teagan on the back quickly before taking off down the hall to her room.

“Bitch!” Teagan yelled after her as she started for the kitchen, giving a small smirk of her own a Tawni yelled back,

“Jerk!”

Gemma was standing at the counter, piece of paper in hand, when Teagan rounded the corner. Grabbing herself a cup of coffee before leaning against the counter with an expectant look as she sipped at the contents of her mug. “You yelled?”

“Engine for your car finally came in.” Gemma stated matter of factly as she slid the piece of paper across the counter, Teagan picking it up to inspect the phone number that had been written on it, along with what time and where she could pick it up from. “I’m sure Ope would let you borrow his truck since Chibs won’t be back with the Tow-Truck for a while.

Teagan gave a nod and tucked the piece of paper into the back pocket of her jeans as she straightened and grabbed her coffee, taking a sip before she said, “Is Ope here yet?”

Gemma nodded with a sigh. “He should be. I think he’s heading out with Chibs. You might be able to catch him.” She said. Teagan gave a soft groan, not really wanting to have to chase the man down, but she would for the sake of her car. Teagan set her coffee down on the counter before rushing out, catching the tow truck just as it passed.

“Hey!” Teagan shouted, waving her hands to get their attention as she came up to the passenger window, Opie stopping the truck and rolling the window down. “Hey, Opie, can I borrow your truck? My engine came in and I want to go pick it up.”

“For the Chevelle? Shit, already?” Opie asked, throwing the truck in park as he dug through his pockets for his keys. Teagan lit up despite her headache, if only briefly, excited to get things going with her car.

“Well, I’ve been here for a few weeks already. I ordered it when I found out Tig kept the damn thing.” She shrugged in response, reaching in and swiping the keys from Opie’s outstretched hand. Opie chuckled and nodded.

“Just don’t fuck it up my truck?” Opie asked.

“Aye, are ye still drunk?” Chibs teased. Teagan narrowed her eyes at him, smirking as she gave a small shake of her head, pocketing the keys.

“No.” She scoffed playfully. “I’m hungover, not drunk. There’s a difference, Scotty.”

Chibs snickered as Opie put the truck back in drive, waiting for Teagan to step away. “Well, we’ll just have to see abou’ tha’ when I get back, won’ we?” He teased, his voice low so only Teagan could hear. Her lips pricked up as she fought the goofy grin that threatened to spread across her face.

“Don’t you two have work to do?” She teased back, stepping away before turning and going back to the clubhouse. Opie chuckled and shook his head as he drove off.

“Dude. Really? You’re gonna mess around with Raven? You do remember her, right?” Opie asked as they drove down the street. Chibs sighed and nodded.

“Aye. After’ las’ nigh’, seein’ her wit’ Tawni. I forgot how close they were before.” Chibs stated.

“And that still doesn’t change your mind? Or the fact that she’s Tig’s little sister?” Opie asked. Chibs scoffed, brushing the comment off.

“Och, i’s jus a bit’o fun. Nothin’ serious.” Chibs said, earning a snicker from Opie as he rolled his eyes..

“Right.”

~

Back in the clubhouse, Teagan still needed a little more of a pick me up, spiking her coffee with just a touch of whiskey, the thought of tequila making the back of her throat closing up in attempt to stop the threat of potentially throwing up. Tawni’s laughter perked her up a bit as she turned to see her walking down the hall with Juice. Teagan smirked and turned on the barstool, watching the pair, as she was still invisible to them for the time being.

“Come on, Tawn. You used to be as bad as the rest of us...you really don’t fight anymore?” Juice teased, grabbing a fistful of her side, making her squeak, laugh and jump as she turned to him, trying to pry his fingers away. She bit her lip as Juice moved his hands, Tawni’s hands around his wrists, pulling her closer as he moved his arms behind his back. Her laughter died off, slowly, as they got a little closer.

Teagan desperately wanted to witness this historical event, something that would make her ‘affair’ with Chibs pale in comparison to his precious niece flirting with a member, but she was still a decent enough friend that she cleared her throat, making her presence known and making the pair jump and move away from each other, both of them afraid it was Chibs. But Tawni sighed when she saw it was just Teagan.

“See? Even ask Teagan.” Juice said, diverting the moment as they approached the bar. “You can’t tell me you believe her, that she doesn’t fight anymore.”

Teagan shrugged.  “Well, I haven’t exactly been around lately, but...I believe her.”

Juice sighed and shook his head as Tawni went behind the bar, pulling out a beer and opening it before she handed it to him.

“I told you. You don’t see me as often anymore. I’m fucking mature, thank you.” Tawni giggled in reply as Teagan swung back around to the bar and leaned over her coffee cup with a soft groan. Tawni looked over her best friend and giggled. “Hey, I’m gonna hit the store. Gonna get some things to make my Nan’s hangover stew. Wanna come?”

Teagan shook her head and sat up, saying, “Nah. I have to go pick up my engine from the shop.”

Tawni gave a small pout, but shrugged it off and wiped down the bar, double checking everything before she left. The deviousness of Teagan’s mind began working as she sat back and added, “But, um...Juicy, why don’t you accompany her? I do still remember our dear, sweet, little Tawni likes company when she shops.”

“It’s called impulse control, and I’ve gotten a better hold on it, thank you...Bitch…” Tawni stated with a giggle. Teagan snickered and shrugged, going back to her coffee. Tawni glanced at Juice and said, “But I would like the company...especially being hungover.”

Juice smirked and set his beer down, leaning a little closer. “Yeah. Sure. I don’t have much to do today. I can come.” He said. Tawni bit her lip and smiled with a nod.

“Cool. I’ll go grab my stuff and meet you out front?” She said. Juice nodded and watched her as she walked off, letting out a heavy sigh as he smirked and bit his lower lip. Once she was out of sight, Juice chuckled and turned back to talk to Teagan, but stopped and jumped when he saw the fierce look she had fixed him with. He glanced around before he said, “What did I do?”

“Nothing...yet. Just make sure you’re well aware, that not only will Chibs kill you if he finds you with her, but I will break your face and cut off your balls if you ever hurt her…” Teagan threatened, making Juice’s eyes grow wide. “Don’t forget who I am, Juice.”

“No. Nope. No. Never. I-I promise.” Juice stumbled.

Teagan glared at him for a moment longer, then smirked and chirped, happily, “Good. Then have fun! Oh, and, if I were you, I’d make the first move? Tawni really wants to make good on her promise to Chibs about not messing around with members, but if you initiate, she won’t see it as her breaking the promise.”

Teagan giggled and wiggled her fingers at him as she left the clubhouse, with a little sing-song, “Have fun!”

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