#new video just came out I have to free some space by posting stuff

[wicked-cat]

[igetnosleep]

Have I told you lately I'm grateful you're mine

Based on the blurb I wrote a couple of days ago...It's the Chris one *gasp* how'd you know? anyway just fluff y'all just a silly thing those Redfield's deserve to be portrayed as silly little guys. I was thinking about post-re5 Chris for this one

Chris was exhausted, emotionally and physically exhausted, doing the longest shift of his life proved to be the worst. The keys to the house feel heavy in his hand as he steps out of the car. The sun long since set and the porch lights a glowing ember in the February cold. He hated winter. Hated how dark it got at 6 p.m.

Missions went on too long. Too much happening all at once. He was lucky to come back with his team, this time, a rare win. Missed christmas and new years in the fucking process. Head hurting, body hurting worse. He took his shoes off at the door and shuffled inside a heavy sigh leaving him.

A brush against his leg had him look down, an orange tabby you had found outside a dumpster, you named it “Bastard” because it bit your ass while you were minding your own business watching some true crime show he forgot the name of. He still has the video in his phone.

Chris picked up the cat pressing small kisses on its head hearing it purr at his rare affections, he knew he would be teased by you “Oh so what was that about not wanting the cat?” he could only grumble “shut up.” at the mental apparition of your voice, though it carried no weight to it. He wanted to see you.

Chris met you when you were a rookie when he was still working in S.T.A.R.S.. You were a rookie shadowing Wesker so he keeps an eye on you if he was too busy then you’d shadow Chris. You’d mostly do busy work for the rest of the team, coffee runs and reports and files that needed organizing.

Sorry, his files and reports needed organizing. 

You spent nights trying to make sense of his sloppy handwriting while staring at the mess that was his work space. Your eye would twitch and you visibly looked distressed seeing how he would work.

He looks back at those memories with a bittersweet fondness.

It took a while for Chris to actually talk to you. When he was stuck in the office you helped him with reports, then it turned less about work and more about what you did outside of work.

Then Arkley Mountains happened and Wesker tried to kill you more than once. 

Chris shook his head at the memory as he reached the bedroom letting the cat go free as he tried to find you buried under the mountain of blankets only finding your hair sticking out and finding the stuffed animals you had collected over the years spilling over to his side of the bed. The thing that tied it all together was the fact that you still had the fucking fan on.

With a deep breath, Chris could only rub his face after throwing his clothes in the hamper silently mouthing “what the fuck” as he crawled into bed. You, his dear partner, were a mystery to him.

Despite all of it a shiver going through him feeling the cold setting in. blankets pulled aside so he could take his place next to you, too tired to care that he was taking up all of your space and was practically laying on top of you now, that’s the price you pay for having all of your stuff piled into his side, and maybe you should have left him some blankets so now he’s feeling petty. 

You’re sharing now whether you like it or not, he nuzzled his face into your neck. 

Unapologetically too might he add knowing you would wake up in..

3.

2.

“Off.” Chris felt his lip quirk up in a smile that bordered into a shiteating grin when your muffled voice came from underneath him. He held back a laugh instead chuffing against your nape kissing the crook of your neck while rubbing his stubble against your skin.

Now he could get off of you but where would the fun be in that. He could but instead he just wrapped his arms around you while peppering kisses on your nape drawing out a frustrated whine.

“Seriously?” “What’s wrong?” He knew he just wanted to hear you say it “You know what’s wrong you’re too warm get off.”

He hummed in pretend thought you felt his chest rumble on your back. You’d think your big boyfriend would do as you ask, he was a man of action after all, always caring for your needs- “No, I think I’m comfy here.” He punctuated his point by biting your neck leaving indents on your skin. No today he wasn’t keen on getting off of you tonight it was his turn he wanted to get on your nerves just for tonight.

“I have work in the morning.”

“Too bad.”

“What if I need to pee?”

“Hold it.”

“Chriiiisss.”

He whined your name in the same tone causing your eyebrows to furrow at his voice going up a few octaves to mimic your voice.

Chris knew what you were thinking considering defeat but he knew you. Knew you better than you knew yourself and for how long he goes away you’d think he didn’t but he did.

You’re probably thinking of pinching him getting to the mix of muscle and fat on his stomach however he wasn’t letting you. You felt nice. It was like he had his own stuffed animal. 

Either way you always did it to him, you always got on top of him, curled up like a cat and took naps. Why couldn’t he do it? He took your hands and brought them underneath you as he wrapped his arms around you. 

Now you're both waking up with pins and needles in your arms. He rolled off of you and nestled you close to his chest intending on sleeping a few more minutes had the cat not made eye contact with him and was now patting his forehead demanding that he come and feed it. 

He flinched slightly, feeling teeth on his right pec “They’re tits, Redfield.” the mental apparition of your voice cut in like you were telepathically communicating with him “Pecs.” his mind argued, looking down and seeing you glaring at him he could almost compare you to the cat, he sighed running his fingers through your hair, feeling you pull away reluctantly giving him a smug look “How long have you been wanting to do that?” “Too long.”

He chuffed a small smile appearing on his face, you’d always say you missed that smile it reminded you of the pointman you knew back when you were younger. 

You crawled up on top of him kissing him softly “Welcome home.” you whispered, feeling his hands slip under your shirt and rest on your waist, thumbs drawing small circles on your skin calluses present with every touch he smiled, staring at you with fond eyes “I’m home.” 

His hands stroked your back naturally as you’d both leaned into a kiss, chaste soft, the tension on his shoulders were gone momentarily he let himself be lost in the moment of domesticity between you. 

The cat briefly interrupted the moment its paw patted his forehead, staring at him expectantly, “The baby’s mad.” you murmured petting under the orange tabby’s chin “I would be too if some short stack named me ‘Bastard’.” “Shut it Redfield.” “Make me.” you narrowed your eyes playfully as his nose nuzzled yours, he was rewarded with another warm kiss a giggle leaving the both of you as he rolled on top of you again earning a cackle from you as he nipped your neck.

Yeah..he was home.

[1slightly-mad1]

This is gonna be a long one so bear with me…

Emerging once again with some more fun stuff! I attended Megacon this past weekend on Saturday and Sunday and did some pretty awesome stuff. First off I met Daniel Logan (played Boba Fett in Attack of the Clones) and he was such a sweetheart to me! I started it off by telling him I apologized in advance for how awkward I am and he said, “That’s okay! I’m awkward too! Just in an extroverted way!” He didn’t even stay behind his table he came around to stand next to me and talk and ended it by saying, “Come here, give me a hug.” And gave me the nicest hug (I always want to hug celebrities I meet but always freeze up and forget to so it was really nice of him to offer it).

Then I went over to his space dad, Temuera Morrison! The line was super long but I had my Lula plush and headphones to get me through it. Unfortunately they had to hurry things along because he had to get to his panel (which worked for me because I wanted to see the panel too) but I did manage to tell him that I think his portrayal of Boba Fett is the coolest, to which he said, “Thank you so much, but really, look at you! You’re much cooler!” And gave me a fist bump (I was wearing a Boba Fett shirt, Boba Fett jacket, Boba Fett backpack, and had Bad Batch pins on my jacket).

Then I went to the panel and met up with my friend to go meet Dee Bradley Baker afterward and we got super lucky because he was on a break so there was a very very short line to see him. We both walked up together and got Bad Batch prints and he used his Tech voice when signing mine and Wrecker voice when signing theirs. I then really wanted to tell him how much all of the Bad Batch mean to me because I’m an odd one out, but the one I really feel connected with it Tech. I told him how much the moment in Season 2 Epsiode 9 between Tech and Omega meant to me and how it made me feel seen and while explaining to him he continued using his Tech voice and then told me, “You’re not alone out there.” And that pretty much wrapped up Saturday.

Starting Sunday off early of me practically running to catch the Clone Wars panel (and accidentally making my friend think it was a different panel that they really wanted to see) and we got a free print! (I’ll show off my haul in a different post) During the panel, Dee Bradley Baker was asked who his personal favorite clone is and he talked about how much he likes the Bad Batch because they’re the odd ones out, much like him. Then someone asked the cast what their favorite mental health moment in Star Wars is and Dee Bradley Baker brought up the exact moment I told him about the previous day and talked about how he’s had people come up to him to tell him that that moment made them felt seen (I have a video of it that I’ll post as well). Once he started talking about it I was tearing up something awful (which was bad because I had done my makeup up a bit more than usual). The whole panel was so happy and meaningful, I think several tears were shed among the audience at some points. However, the main event of the day was yet to come.

I was going to meet the man who started this all, who started my social media presence in Tumblr and opened up a whole new experience for me. I, after 12 years of being a huge fan, was going to meet Tom Hiddleston. Unfortunately, the people in charge of keeping his autographs and photo ops coordinated gave me severe run arounds. I was told several different things, so luckily I covered my bases on all ends to finally make sure that I was going to the right spot at the right time. He had a panel at the end of the day right before the last batch of autographs (which I was part of) and my friend had a ticket to it (it was prepaid and I didn’t want to spend a fuck ton more) so we both went over to the area of the panel and autograph together at 3:00 PM. My ticket for the autograph was 5:45. After some extra run arounds I finally figured out where I was supposed to be and met someone who talked with me the whole time we were in waiting. For the general admission line, I was second in line.

Then comes time for the panel to start, and it gets delayed by an hour and 20 minutes (because Megacon couldn’t coordinate things properly, surprise surprise). The panel started 5 minutes after my autograph ticket said that I was meant to be at the autograph room. I was lucky to be sitting with someone who talked with me the whole time because we were both in line for 4 hours. 7:00 PM rolls around and we’re finally getting ready to go into the room, and I already know that they’re going to keep everyone’s interaction brief because the rest of the convention closed at 5:00 PM.

As we walked in I could see him and I went dead silent because I’ve never seen him in person before. I brought my Lula plush with me again for Sunday and I don’t think I’ve held onto something tighter in my life. Then I heard him talk and I was absolutely stunned. When I say this man is so soft spoken and just has such a calming energy about him, I mean it. And he’s so pretty in person, I couldn’t believe it. The person I talked with in the line was the first person in line for general admission and was wearing Slytherin robes. She started to cry and was covering half her face with her sleeve and he looked up from the print he was signing for her and said, “I can see you.” In a joking way to make her laugh. Then it was my turn and at this point I probably looked like a scared toddler clutching their plushie against them. I luckily found words and it went something like, “I’ve been a fan of you since I was 12 and I’m 25 now and your work means a lot to me and Loki is my favorite and I think you’re great I’m sorry I’m just super starstruck” (said very quickly with no breaks). I didn’t even say hi, I just started with that. His smile was so sweet and he was so kind even though they had him keep everything brief and before I walked away I told him, “Thank you so much for being here” and he stopped the interaction with the next person in line to smile at me and say, “No, thank you for being here.” I was barely holding it together now and I walked out of the room like everything was fine.

Then my friends and I stopped outside of the room to talk and dry off my autograph and they were telling me how good I did. Well, I wasn’t speaking much and my hand was trembling. My close friend immediately noticed what was about to happen and hugged me, and I hugged them back and that’s when the tears began. I apologize if this part is a little dark for some, but this is what was going through my mind as my friend hugged me. The moment I started crying, I had my eyes closed and I imagined telling younger me, “We did it, we made it.” I had some really down and dark moments in my past between 2012 and now. I’m much better than I have been, but it hit me that I lasted long enough to see the day that I met the man who basically helped me get through some of my dark moments. Tom was such a sweetheart, and super fucking tall might I say. He was sitting down and we were at eye level with each other.

Thus the Megacon weekend concluded, and I do have to say that the coordination of things was… Not great. The celebrities there were absolute sweethearts to everyone, but some of the staff were very rude, some were giving people run arounds, and some were just straight up unhelpful. There were only a handful of staff that actually helped us out and were nice enough to not give an attitude about our questions. I knew that going Saturday and Sunday would be pretty packed, and luckily it wasn’t like last years Megacon event where we literally couldn’t move if we were in the Artist Alley. Outside of the celebrities there and panels that they had, the experience really wasn’t the greatest. This portion is basically just a warning to people, if you go to Megacon Orlando you’re likely not going to have the absolute best experience (unless you pay a fuck ton of money for VIP). Overall, it was a good and bad experience, I’m just happy that I met the people I wanted to meet. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Until next time.

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Uh, hey, I dont know what the fuck possessed me to do this since usually I’m stupidly socially anxious and overthinky and oversharey to a severe degree about messages but hey, it’s fucking midnight and I just spent the last 30 minutes cleaning while listening to dopamine music so maybe I’m high (no I’m not, I’m joking to clarify) but whatever the hell, here I am I guess, I apologize if I come off as unhinged or strange or anything like that (like very much so; I think a good visual representation of how I’d feel if I unintentionally came off that way is a video of a Japanese apology Olympics. If you don’t know what that is, just search it up, it’s quite funny but also I am as sorry as those people are). Anyways,

First things first, just gotta say this, your stuff is fucking epic, drawings, presumably writings as well (I have yet to buckle down and make my adhd mind focus and read but I’ve read a few snippets and they’re epic. I think that’s the word, vocab is not a part of the midnight brain I guess), all of it is the absolute shit. Unrelated somewhat, I hope to also learn drawing (I have no clue if that’s necessary context AT ALL, but you draw cool and the whole “draw the freak shit you wanna see in the world” resonated with me lol)

Anyways, the actual reason is because of essentially just a story I experienced (dur) shortly after discovering your blog some time ago (I’m this person for context:https://www.tumblr.com/idkanonymystuff/764430703294300160/hey-hello-i-am-completely-new-here-but-i-just or @idkanonymystuff with the chainsaw dog pochita image; I’m clarifying because I can’t tell if I got my own name right lol) that I think is just kinda funny. It’s not really that long but (starting a new chunk for readability)

Basically, shortly after that post (for a timeframe), I went to an appointment and I don’t know what happened, I think I spaced out, but I was asked a question and without really thinking, I responded “vivisection”. I think the question had something to do with how my brain thinks things (it was awhile ago shut up) or some sort of “how does that make you feel” type question, I really don’t know, but the exact question that I answered, well, vivisection with made it essentially sound like I was saying I like doing that in my free mind time or something.

Like I swear it went like they asked the question and then this essentially:

*Question*

Me, absent-mindedly: Vivisection

Them: what?

My parent (who’s also present): What?

Me, after processing it: …wait-

Que ensuing confusion and then back to regular

I don’t think I explained it right or did it justice (it was very simple, just a misspoken word so I think it’s fine??), but god damn it was awkward but now I just think it’s funny that at that point my mind was still invested with those thoughts at the time (as in it was just rotating it on the back burner throughout the appointment if that makes any damn sense). Pretty sure it went right back to it after a minute or two after lol

But yeah, just thought I’d maybe share that little experience of when past me was so enamored/invested in reading stories about vivisection it scrounged from your blog and looking at other (granted, unrelated) whump art and just the general content of your blog that it just did that without thinking. And to me, that seems like a big compliment, having someone be the cause of work getting stuck in my head that much (?) so, uh yeah

Hope this isn’t strange, me sharing this, I just thought you’d maybe find it funny (and if not, feel free to dump this) and also, again, midnight impulse so yeah. I don’t know what I’m doing, don’t hold me responsible (joking)

ANYWAYS, I hope you have a good day/night, are taking care of yourself, staying hydrated, continuing to do whatever the fuck you do with undying passion, and that my little story wasn’t annoying or anything like that and that you have a happy new year when it comes (or whatever you celebrate. Apparently it’s also national hangover day but I don’t know if you drink so probably not that one) :)

-idk (this is just my tag. Probably not gonna see much of it though since, again, social anxiety and I am mostly a lurker. Not you, literally my brain sees social interaction as a tiger about to maul me with judgement lol. Speaking of which, probably overthinking this right now…okay shut up me-)

AHHHHHH thank you so much!! I'm glad you appreciate my work and that it resonates with you so strongly 🥰🥰

The vivisection thing is so funny and I personally enjoy how common of a term it is within this community and how absolutely wild it is to just about everyone else. I'm definitely right there with you rotating things in my brain in public skdhdjdk it makes waiting in lines and stuff easier 😂😂

It's great that you want to learn drawing! I'm self taught, so I know from experience it can be really daunting to get started and sometimes really frustrating as you figure out your own style and process, but it's so so worth it. Plus, as you said, it enables you to make the freak shit you wanna see in a whole new medium :D! It's very exciting and I wish you all the luck and motivation and inspiration

Thank you again and I hope you have a great day 🥰♥️

[unknowable-doe]

Home setup haul and my budget home setup that fits into about €1000

(excluding instruments, software and a computer) (for links please see the substack version)

This is gonna be a long, chaotic post with a bunch of pictures, so brace yourself! The video was coming up to above half an hour...

I tried to make the yt video about the setup but after a few hours of recording and my computer not saving it, I decided that perhaps youtube is just not for me lol. Aside from the couple things I posted before, which were Røde headphones and microphone desk stand, I also got this little AKAI MPK midi controller, and found a practically unused second-hand DSLR camera on some website, which was a bargain I couldn't miss. So, since the video making was frustrating and unsuccessful, I'm gonna briefly show you my home recording setup in this post.

I collected this stuff in the recent couple, maybe 3 years, despite making DIY home recordings for over a decade, for different reasons. Sometimes be it money, other times I was just too overwhelmed with how much stuff is out there, and the impression like there's a constant competition between all these home producers and whatnot, then it was because when I started making music, having a home studio wasn't really a thing, and I didn't think about it for many years, and then because I didn't take my art seriously enough, I didn't want to put any more money into it. But today, I completed a basic, budget but imo decent home setup that I am using to sketch out my ideas that I will be taking for final polish and vocal recording to an actual studio. :)

My setup consists of a couple of monitoring headphones, monitoring speakers, condenser microphone, a couple microphone stands, microphone amp, midi controllers, my silly laptop which needs a silly docking station (because I didn't think it through when I first got a MacBook and didn't know laptop producers became allergic to having more than 2 usb ports on a laptop they market as a tool for art creators), some cheap room treatment, and a few instruments I can't play. Also, a bunch of software that I didn't include in the price of 1000euros that this setup approximately fit into.

MIDI Controllers

Let's start with the newest addition to my setup that is this AKAI MPK midi controller:

For whatever reason I wouldn't get a typical midi controller for years (I used either a laptop keyboard or my piano keyboard), and I regret not getting it earlier. It's a fun tool, and came with a bunch of free software and samples. I got it for like 90euros.

It's a lot more convenient to use as a midi keyboard than the piano keyboard which just takes so much space..

Got this Roland GoPiano 61P some years ago and then went to a few piano classes, but of course I didn't learn much, and now I'm experiencing a sort of a creative block out of lack of the tools like knowing enough music theory and being able to use it comfortably, so I'd like to pick it up again this Summer...

Headphones

The newest headphones I got, are these Røde headphones, that I got for less than 130e on amazon:

Which I didn't get for any particular reason aside from that I already have a microphone from this brand, and thought the headphones looked cool... These are apparently a new product since Røde mainly sells microphones, so the reviews were kinda in the middle. I wanted a new pair, because the ones I used for the past couple years, have a rather sharp sounding profile, and it is what I saw in the reviews, but because they were a popular and relatively affordable option, I got them.

As for the new Røde headphones, I must say that beside them just looking great, they are really comfortable (unless you have them on for hours while wearing glasses at the same time), and fit nicely around my ears (these headphones fit me perfectly out of the box without adjusting, and I saw reviews where guys complained the adjusting element broke) And they do have a lot more neutral sounding profile than the Beyerdynamics which is something I was going for.

Monitoring speakers

I got this pair of small Yamaha HS3 studio monitors maybe last year, they were a little over 200e, and although maybe you would do fine with just the headphones, it is nice to have a reference. These are great sounding speakers, although I have to say they have a rather deep bass, so I have to turn the room control switch all the way down or else the sound is booming, and they need to be placed away from the wall (which I don't think they're far enough in my case).

Room treatment

What makes it worthy mentioning room treatment, and you can see I got some acoustic foam stuck on the wall and on the sides behind my desk. It is a cheap-ass foam from shein! I maybe paid 30euros for it. And I know what you're gonna say, or see people say online - that this is too thin to make any difference. But it does in fact make a difference despite not being pro studio grade treatment. Even when listening to music on these speakers, it reduces booming and reverberation enough so that I can't hear too much of it outside my living room where I work, even when the speakers are loud. And I did have them plugged into the TV before, having a bare wall behind and can definitely hear the difference.

As for recording, it also does dampen to some degree, so it is good enough imo for sketching out ideas that I couldn't record here because there is too much noise out of my control (like a cafe next-door, or that damn boiler timer), but I think would be good enough if the noise wasn't there, and you could easily record clean vocals with maybe a few more bigger panels in the room.

Microphone

Since I started talking about recording, I have this very popular budget option which is NT-1 Røde condenser microphone. It came in a box set with the shock mount and the pop filter, cable and an amp. And is a very sensitive microphone! I'm not a loud singer and this thing just catches everything (even the fridge making it super loud and annoying.)

My only issue with this amp is that it doesn't have more inputs (I saw people plugging their midi into the amp and then the amp into the computer which would save you from using the damn docking station) but for the price point this whole set was (I think something around 350e when I was buying a few years ago), it is perfect.

Mic stand

And here the last thing from the 'haul' which is this desk stand I also got on sale from Røde's amazon shop, for like 40e. It was super easy to put together (did it with one hand), and it's heavy enough to keep the mic up.

It is a bit too tall for me though... (I'm 5'2) But it is a lot more convenient than those stands you attach to your desk or the floor stands imo. Which I have both, and the floor stand just won't work with the condenser mic unless you have weights to put on it (condensers are heavy), and SPACE to keep it. So, I am very happy with this little desk stand! It looks good too.

Instruments I can't play

As I mentioned, there is the Roland keyboard, and recently I got this small Stagg acoustic guitar (they make small guitars for small people lol)

which is still a struggle for me to fret a chord on, because I have too short fingers... AND IT FUCKING HURTS TOO. I even got this cheat tool so that I can at least try and write some songs with the guitar

and I DO NOT recommend it. Not because it is cheating, but because it just doesn't work well. It slips from the guitar and it slips from the strings and dampens the other.

I also have an antique zither which is more of a decor though I got a set of strings with hope that I can give it to restoration someday and pluck some songs on it then... And I got this handmade shamanic drum from Etsy that I used to sketch out Soft Summer with.

Software

I didn't include software in the budget, although I did spend some money on different plugins (some DAWs have default plugins for reverb e.g. but the one I am using had weirdly sounding processing on those imo, so I bought some iZotope plugins for that which sound great, both the reverb ones like Symphony and those for EQ and comping which is Neutron). I also bought some VSTs...

I started making music over a decade ago using a Skype microphone and the now obscure programme called Audacity... Then I used not even the cracked but trial version of FL studio where I recorded everything into Edison and and exported wavs... Then I tried learning Ableton and Logic but these are too cluttered and overwhelming for my 13 inch laptop screen, so when they made us get Reaper in college (I studied music in college for a year lol), I just stuck with it till now. And Reaper is a free software for personal use, which I think is great if you just want to learn your way around DAW without spending on it first. Then of course you should buy their affordable licence once you use it commercially in any way. And btw you can get a free DAW 'beatmaker' when you buy the AKAI controller, you just have to register it and redeem your codes! And obviously, you need DAW to record your stuff, so that's what I am working with for now!

[toomanythoughtsandstuff]

Hellooooo!! Introduction post!!

I made a fresh tumblr account, because I was a lurker for years (I know, I know, arrest me, criminal) and began to grow uncomfortable with that.

Anyway, tumblr ettiquette, whats that? But actually I don't know everything, so remind me kindly if I do things wrong. I've been in fandom spaces since I was a tiny little teenager, but tumblr always seemed a bit intimidating (I don't know HTML), but now I am here for more than just sims custom content.

So let's get started with the main part of this post, me! I am a talker when I'm comfortable, which you might be able to guess, so I am putting the main part under a cut off.

So: Name: Arlo Age: 19 (it feels like I've been 19 for ages, while 18 was about two months long) Pronouns: he/him or they/them Hobbies: too many, a selection of them here: Crochet, Knitting, Fiber Arts Any crafts I can get my hands on Reading, when I'm not currently chronically online I play marimbaphone, took a break, but now I am at it again, althought I am not very good Picking up new hobbies and discarding them after a week Coaching (I volunteer in childrens sports classes, with children 3 y/o and up, and I lead rhythmic gymnastics courses for kids and teens in secondary education at the school I used to be at) Love to practice some RG myself, but I sadly don't really have the space or functioning body for that Interests: equally too many, most of them fandoms, again a selection: BBC Merlin Percy Jackson Video Games Minecraft Hermitcraft and when I manage to find time: the life series, as well as some Solo Projects of some of the Hermits I watch Good Omens technically, but I have not interacted much with it, since the stuff about the author came out, still kind of on the fence if I will watch "season" 3, because so many people worked on that and it's not just his, but at the same time he was a co-creator In a similar vein: Dead Boy Detectives I'm a fan of fans and fandom as I like to say, meaning I am fascinated about not a singular fandom, although that would also be true, but instead I am fascinated how fandom evolves, fandom etiquette, fandom terms, everything in that vein. Fanlore is basically my favourite website. Somehow I am in the 9-1-1 fandom without ever having watched the show. I don't have any way to access it currently, and buying the whole show is a bit too expensive imo. But TikTok somehow managed to rope me into the show and considering I only ever saw clips, I know too much from fan edits and fanfiction. I have no idea if people think you should watch the source material to be in a fandom, so I say I am fandom-adjacent with 9-1-1. Other than that, I am a queer + trans man-adjacent person so queer rights are obviously important for me. I'm disabled, so once again disability rights are also important to me, generally I try my best to respect and support minorities and their rights. In terms of disabilities: my collction includes being autistic, ADHD, and most likely some physical undiagnosed disability, we suspect POTS, but go try and get my GP to listen to my symptoms, good luck. I have a long history with mental illness, starting at about 12 years old, but for probaly the first time in years I believe I might at some point be able to handle it and I am approaching 1.5 years hospital free.

I live in my beautiful little apartment, one house away from my parents, who help me financially, which I am very grateful for and want to repay them for one day. I would love to work in the film industry one day, most likely as an editor, which I imagine would be the most forgiving in terms of disabilities, but it will be hard due to said disabilities. For now I am still a student in general education from home.

I am german, so my english is not perfect, but I have a lot of english speaking friends. While we are at it, if Germans see this post AND have read this far: Go Vote, this is an important election, and please consider minorities and their safety when you use your vote! What will I post here: no idea, I just know that I like the way tumblr is structured, although intimidating, it seems like a relieve from other social media plattforms. I will try to learn a bit of HTML so I can make my blog look good, and there will be me being a nerd on here. Maybe I'll just update on my current hyperfixations and impulsive project starts.

This was a long one, I am a talker as mentioned in the beginning. If you want to be friends or silently repost post that you think are good/funny, I welcome every potential new friend. Also tell my anything you think is interesting!!

Goodbye for now

[allamalad]

FAN WEB COMIC

hello! this is my first attempt at a fan web comic, or a web comic in general i suppose, hope you enjoy! panels are under the cut to save space on your dash :] (trust me its a bit long) feel free to look through my acct to find more info on the ocs that will be in this!if you guys wanna see this on mspfa (ma paint fan adventures) let me know! I'm kinda just doing this for fun, this is kinda heavy beta territory, so details may be missing compared to the one that will be on ms paint fan adventures! I'll post it there with reminders/updates here! Hope you guys enjoy :]

Ps I'm not the best with grammar so if you see any mistakes I am sorry.

Your name is Alan Harper. You live in the middle of nowhere in Kansas, a clear plains area, only getting cut off by a nearby forest. You use to live with your uncle, but one day he simply never came back after going on one of his cryptid hunts. You never thought you'd live alone, but you aren't truly. There's one thing that your uncle has left behind that's been a thorn in your side, but you and your friends have discovered a game. A game that you hope will distract you from the responsibilities that have burdened you for years.

Alan: observe stuff

You enjoy creating story lines and visual artworks about the things that you love like aliens and cryptids, you also enjoy modding video games you play with your friends. You also like making costumes, those reminiscent of various creatures and animals. it appears you like hobby hopping, Some things look.. worse than others, but you don't care! You had fun making them.

Alan: observe shirt

This is your new shirt! One that is very cozy and looks awesome. It's not the shirt you usually wear, but it's amazing none of the less. It will definitely not get dirty whatsoever, you may be a farmer but you have standards!

Alan: observe figures

You have a figure of a knight and his mighty steed. Oh how you'd dream of being swept off your feet and taken away by a mighty knight. Protecting you at every moment, keeping you safe.

Alan: remember what you're doing

You nearly forgot about going to get your game outside.. you shake off your urge to go through your things. Focus.

Alan: Go outside and gaze fondly at your farm

Jesus you're fast- After swiftly moving through your house, not really caring for the details for the time being, You open the wooden door to the front of your cozy home. You get a whiff of that cool morning farm air. the moisture from the clouds above combine with the earthy tones of the crops you grow make you happy to be here. Sure there are responsibilities you have to deal with, this is your home you're stuck with it. But you love it, almost more than your friends.

Alan: go down the path

To reach your destination of the game you had bought, you need to travel down the path that leads to the main road. Of course, that means passing ITS pen. You hate that thing, but you also love it. Sure it's protected you, but it's also been the bane of your existence by eating crops and spitting on you every time you pass by. And just your luck, today, it got out, again.

Alan: stand and stare

As the tall furry beast turns towards you, it's white furry neck giving it an advantage in height. Your uncle's freaky llama, the one who got him into the supernatural in the first place. Somehow, this thing has.. interesting time abilities. None of them used on you of course, but most definitely used to escape it's pen whenever it wants to.

Alan: get around llama

You stand there for a moment, nervously gazing at the creature like one of those cowboy stand offs in the stories you enjoy. A couple more agonizing seconds, you bee line to the left. The llama keeps its eyes on you as it stands there like a statue, waiting. Soon, you were in the perfect position.

Alan: get kicked by your guardian

You feel an aggressively hard kick find its way into your back, it nearly knocks the wind out of you. You fall face flat onto the ground, weakly turning over to see the llama standing over you. It was almost as if it was trying to tell you whatever you were doing was a bad idea.

Alan: get trampled by your guardian

Just as you were about to get up, you feel a jab at your stomach, another at your hip, your shoulder- in a flash this thing starts dancing on top of you, jabbing it's hooves into each part of your body, stomping on you as if you were a pest. Or, like it was trying to REALLY tell you whatever you were about to do was a bad idea.

Alan: lay there for a bit

Finally, the torture was over. The beast finally gave up, but it didn't leave until after it gave you a petty spit in the face. You lay there like an old sack of potatoes, slowly decaying into soil, ouch.

Alan: get pestered

wincing as you slowly move your arm to grab your old flip phone which was vibrating in your pocket, somehow it gets a signal all the way out here, but you don't complain. it seems one of your friends was pestering you. BestBiochemist.

BB: Hey Alan, have you acquired the game yet?

TF: Well.. I almost did, I just need a moment-

BB: Why? is there a storm? A tornado or something? <:O The weather in that area has shown quite the aggression in recent time.

TF: No! well, it seems like there might be one today but thats besides the point! It got out again-

BB: What? oh! Your weird llama specimen?

TF: Yes, and it just beat me into the ground- I don't know why. He’s never been that aggressive.

BB: Hm. Maybe he’s just jealous you're getting such a cool game to play with your friends :]

TF: Heh, maybe. I'll pester you back when I get my copy. Connection gets spotty by the road anyways.

BB: Ok! Byeee.

BestBiochemist stopped pestering ThatFarmguy at 0600

[importantdestinydefendor]

Getting to know you ask meme

Tagged by @tired-reader-writer

Last song: Run For Roses by NMIXX

Such a banger! The harmonies, their voices in general (Haewon my beloved~), the instrumantel?? ugh! Lives rent free in my head! Also! Haewons voice is somewhat how I picture Azars voice (at least when singing). Her tone and voice colour is just so beautiful! This song will also go in the AU playlist lol

Here is a Voice Cam of Haewon were her vocals are a little bit highlighted from the rest. You can still here the others though.

Last movie/TV show: The Grand Budapest Hotel

Such a fun movie! Watched it with my parents on New Years Eve. Such a perfect mix of silly and serious. Sometimes you laugh until you can't breath, others you feel like curling up into a ball and just cry. It is a story in a story in a story in a story. So, to break it down is: we start with a girl reading a book by the bust of the author in a graveyard. We then listen to the author talking about an interview that is basically the book. We then switch to the younger self of the author (Jude Law) when he conducts the interview with the owner of the Grand Budapest Hotel. We then switch to the time when the owner was just a page/footboy (Tony Revelori) and telling the story of Gustave (Ralph Fiennes)- the concierge and later former owner of the Hotel. We then ping pong between the interview and the story told by the owner. It is told in five chapters. (Rant end!)

Sweet/spicy/savory: Leaning more to savory.

But also like sweet a lot! Spicy is my nemesis. I am so white i can't handel most spices lol. But I'm training my body to handel more!

Relationship status: Very, Very single

I am wishing/hoping for a relationship, though it is not my priority. In the mean time, I'm very hapy with my fictonal crushes lol

Last thing I googled: The Grand Budapest Hotel

Besides that it is 'google scholar' (for my term paper) and 'star wars rebels manag read online'. Have yet to watch the show but I do like the manga version of it.

Current obsession: There is alot!

Arslan Senki (obviusly), my AU, Horizon Forbidden West (RIP Lance Reddick), Otoyomegatrai (a new chapter just came out!), Haikyuu... and this is only like the tip of the iceberg for reading/video game stuff! But if I write down more we would be here for an eternity lol. I also have discovered book nooks and have started to build one since last summer (had to stop due to space for our christmas tree).

Last book: Wolkenschloss (A castle in the Sky) by Kerstin Gier

Have given up on it rather early on. I'm just no longer in the targeted audience and I notice that while reading which sadly sours the reading experience. I just cringe at some things that I might have liked when I was around 15 or so. But before that I finished reading the first book of the Temeraire series - His Majesty's Dragon and have the next two volumes waiting for me. I had started it back in high school and wanted to read it again. It is so much fun and it's baiscally - what if there were dragons around the time Napoleon waged his wars (so in the 19th century) and there were riders for them and we focus on one (1) british navy soldier who got (unwillingly) adopted by a dragon freshly hetched from it's egg. And maybe, just maybe, said dragon might be a very rare one! (Also another point for the Temeraire series is that the author is Naomi Novik - one of the co-founders of our beloved and one and only AO3!)

Looking forward to: being done with my term paper

I have a lot of problems with it as it is my first one and I have no idea what I'm doing (I have talked with my tutoress and asked others about it but I just have to figure shit out as I go). I just want to create art and continue my AUs! I want to post my first chapter! maaaaan we need more hours in the day for just relaxing and hobbies

Tags:

@whenskiesaregreyy @welome-bob and basically anyone who wants to join in.

[cozymochi]

im so sorry people are being assholes in the comments of ur iz animatics :((( they bring such joy and are so well done!! forever grateful that you share you art <3 even if you decide to take them down i just wanted to let you know that you are appreciated <3<3<3 hoping your day goes well and you find small unexpected delights

I don’t plan on taking them down. That carnal part of me gets a lil’ joy when I still see nice comments anyway. It’s only been a year, but I still get comments! So that’s crazy.

BUT!!

Another fear I do have is the response if I do post again, and it’s completely different than what those 2.4k subs are expecting to see. I’ve already warned about it literally a year in advance, and then again very recently in multiple places. Idk why I SHOULD be uneased by it, but it’s not like IZ fans are quiet when it comes to their distaste when something changes. *cough.* It’s part of why I’ve distanced myself from that fandom (there’s a myriad of reasons but still).

Insanity incoming:

I don’t have immediate plans to make more animatics, they’re kind of long term thing to consider. Back when I used to make them I had NOTHING but free time and my biggest concern was feeding myself cuz my home environment was horrid and I had zero means of leaving since I lived in bum fuck nowhere! Since my last yt upload I moved out, was in a car wreck (not even 2 days in), my own car went through thousands of dollars in repairs, i got a job, went through a period where I worked nearly 100hrs for several months consecutively with hardly any breaks, and to think! It wasn’t and it’s still not sustainable. Things changed. And I do not want to go “home.” After being forced to visit family again a month ago I especially don’t want to go back.

The channel was literally a dumping ground. I got those 2k subs when I wasn’t posting for a year. So! You can imagine I might not be prioritizing a channel I only used as a dumping ground or in a state to make fully or even barely boarded videos and shitposts weekly or monthly. Idk what these people want from me schedule wise. I make $0 from it, and monetizing for a few cents isn’t worth it. I didn’t even get paid when I made thumbnails and assets for bigger channels lmfao. Yeah, I did do that. Wouldn’t know tho. Paid in “exposure” hurr hurr or “omg i need that money myself XDD cmon” whatever backwards excuse.

So what’s next in line but a bunch of strangers with fickle attention being passive aggressive and demanding I make more stuff when I say multiple times that I don’t intend to, and if I do (big if) it WON’T be what they came here for. They aren’t paying me. It’s not like I have a gajillion other things to be concerned about.

…Okay, that was a tangent.

Those few condescending comments make me just wanna outright cancel what iz stuff was left on the backburner. It was more like an indefinite hiatus until I can stomach finishing them. The files take up space anyway for the projects I’m actually interested in. Even if all of them are purely hypotheticals until I can get my focus together (which isn’t likely to happen anytime soon).

sorry about the TMI rant for a second but!! MAN!! It’s frustrating! If anything I could very well take them down. But, I won’t. Besides, for all I know some tiktok took some and it’s getting an exponentially higher amount of views anyway. I should at least keep mine…

It’s not like i don’t WANT to use it for actual new things, but the sheer pressure keeps me away. I get enough pressure to make animatics offline as it is. And if someone out there is gonna be all like “well who cares what those kids think” believe me, I get it and I promise don’t care. But at the same time it’s egghhhhhh. I delete the comments anyway.… however that doesn’t mean they still won’t bug me.

Considering all of the above it’s a miracle I don’t just take them down.

[gamesception]

So here's the new toy that's been distracting me the last couple days. My decade+ old oversized ASUS gaming laptop finally pooped out several months ago, leaving me daily driving my Steam Deck of all things as my main home computer. And don't get me wrong, the Deck has performed remarkably well in that regard, but I've been meaning to get something a bit fancier for a while. Something that could handle 1440p gameplay at a decent framerate while streaming or recording, can manage image and video editing well, and in particular can run some VR games. I've been interested in VR gaming ever since Lobac posted about some of that a while back, especially with the Meta Quest 2 being a solid headset at a really aggressive cost. With the Zuck giving up on the metaverse, the Quest is likely never going to be cheaper than it is now.

I'd waffled for a while about building a PC, but in the end I psyched myself out and decided to go with a pre-built instead. Yes, that means willfully overpaying for the end product by a few hundred bucks to pay someone else to do the assembly and initial set up for me, but in exchange I only had to research one product instead of half a dozen separate components, plus there's a single warranty where if anything doesn't work it's somebody else's problem to fix it, and I'd only have to deal with a delay.

After watching and reading a bunch of reviews, Skytech seemed to be a decent choice for system integrator, with solid to positive reviews for various prebuilt models they offer, including Gamer's Nexus who tend to be pretty harsh on pre-builts. But it was this review from JustIN Tech that sold me on this Azure 2 model. "Performance equivalent to last gens best, but at half the price" is the exact tag line I was looking for, and after a recent price discount it was just within my $2k range.

In retrospect though, I should have done some more research on the specific components. I'm quite happy with the intel 13600 cpu, and while the included cooling setup is overkill for that chip, that just means I've got some free thermal space to overclock or upgrade in the future. Plus, it's pretty, and I'm shallow. On the other hand it turns out the nvidia 4070ti is not well thought of - generally considered badly overpriced, plus has the extra negetive association of being just a rebranding of the failed '4080 12gb' that was so roundly panned that its release had to be canned altogether. And the PNY model that came bundled in my unit isn't even as nice as the Gigabyte one in the JustIN Tech review. One of the reasons why Gamer's Nexus is the better channel for these sorts of reviews is that they do secret shopper and get the same stuff regular folks get, where as brands know what they're sending to channels like JustIN Tech and can take pains to make the best possible impression by including better components and taking extra care in assembly and packaging.

So what should I have purchased instead? I don't know. Maybe the 'blue' model of the same Azure 2 line, which is three hundred dollars cheaper to swap out the 4070ti for an intel Arc a770, which would probably have been more than enough for my intended use cases. Heck, with 4 extra gb of vram it might have even been better than the 4070ti for me in the long term, and if not then I could use the money saved towards swapping out to a better AMD card next gen. But the blue model comes in a blue version of the case, which wouldn't have made the swirly rainbow rbgs pop as much.

Anyway, while I might have made a different choice if I had done more research, that doesn't mean I'm at all unhappy with what I got! The Azure 2 arrived promptly. The build quality of the system is very nice. No damage, no loose or cross-threaded screws. Everything worked right out of the box when plugged in - including all the various external ports. Skytech certainly did a good job putting it all together. While the 4070ti might not be the most reasonably priced card for its performance level, now that it's here and paid for regardless, it seems like it should be able to do everything I want it to, at least for now. And if I end up replacing the gpu sooner then I would have liked, eh, we live and learn.

And while it doesn't matter at all compared to cost and performance, the swirly rainbow rgb lighting makes me feel like a Real Gamer (tm).

Desk is getting a bit cluttered tho.

As for performance, It's quiet and runs cool while playing my current games at top settings - though my particular game selection (mostly just Elden Ring on max settings with Ray Tracing), and my 1080p, 75hz monitor aren't exactly putting it through its paces yet. A new monitor is one of several upgrades & accessories I plan to get to go with this thing in coming months. New monitor, VR headset, an extra ssd on which to install linux - I figure I'll keep the windows install on the side, on the off chance there are games or utilities I can't get running in Linux down the line.

But anyway yeah, that's what I've been so busy with lately, delaying liveblog posts.

[lucatumbling]

Hey there.

It's me, the guy who showed the flaws of the Digital Circus fandom. Anyway, some time ago I made a post saying I would want to post here more and I had some ideas. But that never came to be, why is that?

Well... I've got my problems with Tumblr. So in this post I'm gonna list the bad and good with Tumblr and why I don't post as often as I would like.

You can continue reading below.

Let me start with the bad.

Heavy use of tags.

Finding posts on Tumblr is usually done by putting a lot of tags on a post to make it reach more people. I personally have my issues with this. It makes it that Tumblr feels very tag reliant (if that's even a word). Other websites have it where you find posts at complete random without all the tags which makes your timeline a random, crazy but overall fun mess. I... actually prefer this because it means you are finding a lot more new accounts you might have an interest in following. Sure, Tumblr's tags makes it you can stay in a safe space for a majority of the time and find more friendly faces there but if the internet teaches you anything, it's to NEVER stay in the same fandom for a long time. (As if my video isn't proof enough of that). So yeah, maybe Tumblr could rely less on tags? Just a thought.

2. Stagnancy.

Tumblr's timelines that it provides you with (this applies to all three in my experience) remain stagnant for several hours, sometimes days, maybe even WEEKS before the timeline chooses to change and give you something different. Because of this, Tumblr feels uninteresting to scroll through at times. I'm just minding my business scrolling through my timeline and all the posts I'm seeing are the exact same I've seen already. Like... can I have something different? Please? I want to be able to see new stuff and keep interest in scrolling through the site, not the same posts I've seen relentlessly. I don't even know why Tumblr specifically has this problem while every other site gives you new content CONSTANTLY when you keep scrolling. Honestly one of my bigger problems with Tumblr that I really want to see get fixed.

3. Not interested in post? Too bad.

See a post you come across that you don't like? Just press the "Not interested in post" button on it and it's gone, right? Yeah no. Doesn't work like that. I've used this button a fair amount of times to get my timeline to my liking, yet I keep seeing the same posts pop up that I already said no to. Okay... got a reason for that? I pressed the button for a reason. Why am I seeing the same post literally a few seconds later? No idea why it barely works in certain cases. It just feels weird.

4. Make art or get out.

For the record, I do really like seeing pieces of art. Some people make great pieces that I absolutely love seeing. On other sites, I always loved getting a good dice roll and seeing some great art pop up on my feed. With Tumblr however, art isn't a rare thing to come across. If anything, it is the ONLY thing you will come across on this site. Seriously, seeing anything other than art on this website is such a rarity that I'm honestly happy to see anything OTHER than art on this site because I'm so overdosed with art on this site. Want anything on this site? Art is all we got, if that's not good enough for you? Get out and find another site. It just hurts to be honest, it starts to make you dislike art because you get so overstimulated with it.

Jeez, those are some problems there. But Tumblr isn't all bad and negative. In fact, there are some parts of Tumblr that are really good! So let's look at that!

Want to post? GO NUTS!

Oh my god did Tumblr ever NAIL the posting on this site. Outside of the tags, Tumblr has a seemingly infinite character limit, colorable text, being able to spoiler a full message with a "keep reading" bar, changeable text sizes etc. You are so free to post anything you want on Tumblr (as long as it's SFW) that it has to be the biggest highlight this entire site has. Look! I'm blue now! Now I'm orange! And here's green! It's like you got access to a sandbox and can post whatever you want and it is a FANTASTIC feeling to mess around with, being able to express yourself and clear up things without causing some weird ruckus unlike other sites who have such a short character limit that you can't even talk anymore. So yeah, I love Tumblr's posting system. It's great!

2. Open minds and open ears.

People on Tumblr are genuinely very open minded, are actually willing to listen to your opinions and have civil discussions about it. For example, I hate a certain ragdoll character from a very popular circus show. On a site like Twitter? I would get harassed off of the platform because people can't even FATHOM of different opinions. (Especially an opinion like this, it would trigger almost the whole fandom which is not my problem). On Tumblr? People want to know why I think so and have a civil discussion involving different points of views and opinions, being open minded and lending their ears to such an opinion. I still remember making the Episode 4 of Digital Circus personal thoughts post and everyone who saw it seemed to really like it and were able see my point of view about it all, which felt really nice and refreshing after the fiasco of the Episode 3 personal thoughts thread on Twitter. (And just everything on Twitter honestly). Thanks for being so chill y'all!

Those are some pretty good points!

But now, for my part. Why haven't I been posting?

Well, the negatives seen in this post but also just, general life. Everything mentioned in the video that is pinned on my account had a bigger effect on me than you think. But I've been taking my time. Other than that, life is unpredictable, mentality is unpredictable, so you are never far off from something happening to you. But not everything needs to be known online to everyone. Some things are personal. So there's that.

If you actually read through this entire message, then you have a bit of my respect. Most people's attention spans are pretty horrendous nowadays, so thank you for taking the time and reading through this whole post.

I'll see you whenever I feel like it. Have a good rest of your day/night. Peace.

[heroic-endeavors]

Here is (hopefully) a quick update.

I still don’t know exactly when I will be moving. Mom had bought a bed for me which came in not too long ago. It has yet to be set up. I’ll be sharing the space with an aunt who is planning on getting her bed sent in next Saturday.

Power is still out. So I do still have to be somewhat careful with power but with it being the weekend I have access so the van so I can stay plugged in. But I still don’t feel too comfortable with doing a lot of role play at the moment even if I really want to do so.

So for those waiting for replies I thank you all for your patience and understanding of my current situation. I promise that once I am able to I will get to everything waiting for me.

For those who have plot ideas they want to start with my muses feel free to tag me in a starter or send a message. Even though everything will take a few weeks I’ll get to everything.

Now to actually get to what I wanted to talk about. I started moving some of my things over to the new place. So far it was mainly my computer plus a few other items. I wanted to get the computer first.

One thing I’m pretty happy about is I might be able to have a second monitor right away. Another aunt has a computer and she might. It be able to take it with her where ever she ends up so I’ll be able to take monitor. (This is a different aunt.)

It would be so great to get to access the things I’ve once taking for granted before. To be able to shower regularly with hot water. Air conditioning. A place to put my clothes. Not losing my clothes so easily.

The place I’ve been living is in awful condition. It would cost too much to even attempt to repair or renovate. It’s something none of us can afford to do. The the amount needed to do everything needed to make that place actually a decent house it would be cheaper just to buy another house. We’re letting the bank take it and moving in with someone else for the time until different arrangements can be done. Either moving to a town house a tiny house or something else. Though I do probably have the option to stay in the place I’ll be moving if I really wanted.

I never really complained about my shifty living situation openly because I felt it was pointless. I felt it wouldn’t help and thought it might come across as me begging for money or something. I have a hard time asking for help even if I needed it. Heck, I probably could use money to help the move go smoother yet I’m not going to ask.

Though perhaps I could make an Amazon wishlist to help me get over my issue with asking for help. I don’t want to deal with cash apps so if anyone did want to help I think that would be a pretty good option. I have not decided if I would do it or not.

So what I’ll have to do would be to a pack some clothes. Mostly going to fetch the bare minimum. Or at least pack my favorite things. Going in with a soft reset. Take the bare minimum and buy some new stuff as I go.

Then there are the remainder of my books, plushies, and video games. I’ve already got quite a bit packed up and out into storage. I don’t really have a lot left that I need to pack.

Then to make sure all the other computers get packed along with that monitor

Anyway, this post ended up being longer than I was hoping. I once again want to state how I appreciate everyone’s patience at this time. (I might end up making the list. Maybe for fun include some kind of fic challenge to do later. Just bouncing ideas. I can’t really sleep though it’s 2:37 AM.

[ladala99]

Some rambling below: about the stuff going on Reddit, my current video game habits (including some things about Pokemon), The Legend of Heroes: A Tear of Vermillion (including major spoilers so watch out), and Trails fandom opinion the Gagharv trilogy. All over the place!

Whelp. None of you probably know this but Reddit was my main fandom space for Pokemon/Spyro/other video games that aren't petsites, and well, there's this thing going on over there.

I've been trying to get off of it for a while anyway. Too easy to waste a ton of otherwise-productive time, I keep running into spoilers for games I'm still playing, and also I tend to doomscroll the political subs.

So maybe this will finally get me off of it. Certainly the fact that the admins are giving an ultimatum to the mods of various subs (including r/pokemon, my most frequented one) leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth and makes me not want to engage with the site. The whole attitude the site owner(?) has about it is just disgusting, and if it's true he idolizes Musk, that's all the more reason to have nothing to do with it further.

So what to do with this extra time that I don't want to be productive and just want to type essays at strangers about my interests? I guess here's as good a place as any! It's my blog and I can put whatever I feel like on it. Some of you are probably following for that type of content anyway.

------

So, to start, I guess I'll explain my current video gaming schedule. Starting the month before Pokemon Scarlet and Violet released, I decided to change up my video gaming habits. I had previously had a schedule where I played different games according to the day of the week. This resulted in me not making a ton of progress on some games and kinda feeling discouraged with how long it was taking.

The month before Scarlet/Violet came out, I went into my customary no-main-series-Pokemon-for-a-month period, and decided that I would instead play Animal Crossing: Wild World and only Animal Crossing: Wild World during that time-frame. And you know what? It was great! It was both relaxing and fairly motivating since I knew I had only a certain amount of time with it before I put it away again.

Scarlet/Violet released, and I extended that idea. I even wrote some blog posts here while I was... avoiding spoilers on Reddit... I had a schedule to get through the game (Gyms only on Wednesdays and Saturdays, one plot event max per day) and once I hit the postgame, I had one month to do whatever I wanted before putting the game down for the moment. That postgame month, again, was amazing. Just some guilt-free gameplay of doing whatever I felt like at the moment. Motivation to get the Pokedex done (I did so) and then try some other things. I didn't get everything I tried to do done, but I did a good variety of things and had a good time.

After that, I went on an alternating two-week, one-month schedule for different games. Two weeks on something chill, like Animal Crossing, followed by one month of an actual game, like Breath of the Wild. Alternating between a set of Pokemon games and non-Pokemon games.

And that's a great schedule for games I'm good with playing a bit, taking a break from, and getting back to. But what about heavily story-based games or ones I haven't beaten before? I'm not playing multiple hours a day, so even a month isn't always enough to finish!

Well, enter my new schedule: play for two weeks, check to see if I'm still having fun or if I accomplished what I intended to accomplish, if I'm not done and I'm still having fun continue, otherwise move on.

When Pokemon HOME became compatible with Scarlet/Violet, I felt strongly about transferring everything I could in, so I took a two-week timeframe to do so. My initial goal was to get everything breedable into Scarlet, I accomplished that, and then I moved on to trying to get extra Legendaries. I speedran Shield to get what I could out of a new playthrough and then ran out of time. That's okay - I'll finish later. Because I accomplished my initial mission and I have other games to play. This excursion was interrupting a different game I was (and am) trying to get through. One that I'll start a new section for below.

Also just to put it somewhere: I'm tracking my games on HowLongToBeat now. Here's my profile. (I don't have the time on Zelda because I'm going to use the Switch menu's time at the end)

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My current game is The Legend of Heroes: A Tear of Vermillion. Yes, you read that right. I'm not being silly with the name of the Zelda game (I already posted about that earlier anyway). I'm playing Tears of the Kingdom as well, but it's not my main game at the moment.

And I just have so many feelings about TLOH: AToV. (If you don't want spoilers for it, stop now because I am not holding back.)

I first played it as a young teen. I got to the end but never actually beat the final boss. But it stuck with me. I don't remember much of the plot other than two very powerful, very spoilery scenes.

It's so weird going through it how much and how little I remember. Like the entire plot is about not-Catholics vs. not-Satanists (and the not-Catholics aren't always good) and I didn't remember that at all. But I did remember bits and pieces, particularly out-of-context bits about certain characters. (spoilers start now) Like there's this black-haired girl I saw and immediately went "missing sister! :O" But she's not actually Avin's missing sister, but another character's. A character I hadn't met at that moment. There's another guy I just met and immediately went "oh, I like him! :)" and I still don't remember why he sticks out so much since he doesn't seem that much more important than other characters I forgot about completely.

And the two things I did come in remembering (really, really spoilers now) involve Mile dying halfway through and turning up again at the end of the game as a dark mage, so everything he does is just. . . I'm paying so much more attention to him and he's like, the perfect healer. He's functionally the healer in that he's the party member who's always with you that has healing spells, but he's also such a healer in the story, too. He cheers up Avin when they were kids, being a friend to a traumatized boy who just got separated from his beloved sister. He gives up his wish to help Avin out. He goes with Avin on the dangerous journey when he has no personal stake other than to see his friend succeed. He acts as a foil for Avin, who has a quick temper, calming down every tense situation, and even lying when it helps diffuse a situation. And then he dies.

I'm not there yet. I just remember the pool of blood and the shock I felt. I think I'm getting there soon, though. Because Avin just reunited with his sister and I don't remember that lasting long. (I didn't even recognize her portrait, unlike the Baron that I feel positively about for unknown reasons.)

It's just so good! And yet...

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Before I started the game back up, I was looking at the modern The Legend of Heroes games for Switch. I wondered if it was worth getting one of the more recent games. So I decided to check out the fandom and see if there were any tips for fans of the Gagharv Trilogy (which A Tear of Vermilion is in) getting into the newer games.

Uh. . . no. There aren't. Fans of the current series mostly have not played the Gagharv Trilogy and actually think they're kinda bad. Particularly the PSP versions (which is the only version that got translated to English and the version I have).

And it's funny, since when I see people say why you should play the Trails series (what the new games are considered), they say a lot of the same things that are accurate to the Gagharv games. One of the main gushes I've seen about the series is that random NPCs have lives that develop as the story develops - you'll meet the same characters again and again as you happen to travel the same places they do. And that happens in A Tear of Vermilion. There's this writer guy that you meet and tell your adventures to, and his agent will keep giving you books. There's a greedy merchant you keep running into and Avin keeps getting mad at him. And there's so much variety in character conversation - gain a new party member and talk to everyone in the village and they'll talk to/comment on the new party member. Every time a major event happens, you can go back around town to hear everyone's opinion on it. There's some secret books that characters will give you if you talk to them after certain plot events.

I'm guessing this is a Pokemon Sword/Shield situation where while the Gagharv Trilogy is good, the Trails series is so much better that the Gagharv Trilogy is bad in comparison. That's the only way I can make sense of it.

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Anyway, that was a lot and did not stick to one topic. But I just have a lot of thoughts right now. Here's Mile's official character portrait for making it through the whole thing:

[geniusphilester]

it's after 3:30 am so i'm just gonna post a list/a brief explanation and call it good

main choices probably idk i didn't have time to properly sort

-phil's birthday mention: idk either 2024 or 2025, i'm not fussed -~they touched~: they're gonna be close and they're gonna lampshade it -comment color joke: dan is grey and phil is blue? apt. other way around? they messed it up -foot joke: got the dogs out -dan's dips: dan loves a carb -bts tour story: maybe we'll get to hear about issues with customs? idk -codependent food: either "phil can't eat this so i won't" or one of them is gone and the other tries to eat in sync or whatever -christmas reference: i just wanna hear if they did something at christmas 2024. probably the biggest occasion we knew they were apart during the year -dan and phil 2.0: what! is happening! in march!!! -jealous dan: bonus points if they lampshade -dan asks phil to get him smth: dan needs something! but he cannot get up! whatever shall he dooooo -british joke: they usually joke in line with whatever leg of the tour they're doing, so they can joke about being home, aw -phree space: free space -dunking on judas: we will never hear the end of this (good) -mutual fond: this doesn't have to be like that eye contact moment in halloween baking that lives rent free in my mind; they can take turns. but i love that halloween baking moment -alien dialect: they call their made up words alien in multiple wdapteo, especially dan. so this is more about the word and less about the dialect itself (esp since phil shared it in the promo) -titspoilers: dan and phil share something from the show that others would consider spoilers -fryday mention: maybe less likely when they're on tour but idk -dullet and/or phlonde: important hair updates -meme review: either rating their memes or just sharing them in a group, i'm not picky -phil medical event: they already shared some texts from phil's latest hospital incident. will we get more? was there more medical stuff we missed? -mutual roasting: this is phannies roasting them and them roasting right back. our love language, if you will -dan shriek: rip headphone users -trash reality tv: reference to a real housewives they watched together, a screencap they use as a meme, etc. -vibes: dan likes to send a positive vibe ~~~

bonus ones

-furry joke: maybe return of the fox head from halloween -catboys: idk catboys are just always there -offended they were hit on: they were out and about a lot this year. were they coupley enough to not get hit on this year? -birthday stream talk: two birthday streams in 2024! did they talk behind the scenes? -dune popcorn bucket: it just comes up a lot -dan’s world pessimism: i was like "climate change? bad election results around the world? tech billionaires?" and decided to make a catch-all -merch drop: i suspect they'll just do end-of-tour promo but maybe they'll sneak merch in idk -wicked joke: they did the ariana-cynthia finger holding in a q&a, i could see it popping up again -US tiktok joke: honestly i wonder if any of phil's favorite tiktokers are US based. rip -domestic detail: something we can roomba up -koala pics: did they take pics with koalas in australia? where is our oceania photo dump!!! -phil’s family reference: idk they come up -phil texting dan phannie memes: phil is in our walls more than dan -creep shot: honestly this probably should have gone on the main list -tiny horse talk: like maybe them deciding on the calendar theme would be fun -overdramatic dan: dan overacts the hell out of his texts. i enjoy it -pog: pog came up in a few different videos, but maybe this one's old news idk -dog "hints": it felt like cheating to put on my overall 2025 bingo card and feels like cheating here too but who cares

rewatching the wdapteo series to get ideas for a bingo card, and wow, i forgot the first one was not only during interactive introverts, but it was the close tour bus sitting. what a time

[notsodailycake]

2 Years in Sky

Many may not know this but, I'm a skt player, and today marks as the day i first joined sky. I had just gotten a new phone after my old one glitched and i was trying to find some games i could play in it, since i had alot of free space. Then i came across sky, remembering an insta story of someone playing a similar game, i decided to download it and see how it is. I could always uninstall it if i don't like it. Little did i know of the journey i would go through

Sky has been one of the biggest parts of my life during quarantine. I made so many friends who honestly, i don't know where I'd be at right now without them. Some i lost contact with, others i still talk to occasionally, but either way i enjoyed every moment with everyone

Under the cut, there's a very rushed and crappy edit i did, but idc it makes me happy! To see all those happy moments in one video. And hell, i had to cut out some stuff so it didn't become so long, with how many stuff i took pictures of, and looking through them i smiled as i felt genuine joy seeing them. Tho you can find a few of these pictures, plus some not added, on my story highlights back on Instagram ("Eden highlights" ; "Fun in Sky" ; "Sky adventures"), there will be a link to my account on the pinned post ^^

There is just not enough time to show everything really. The drawings i did, the adventures i went through while my game lagged, those quick funny moments i couldn't capture in a picture or video.

Honestly it was nice seeing all the goofy crap i did in sky, and all the creakhead energy with my friends. I used to look at them a but sadly because i miss those days, tho...now i look at them happliy, now that i have just the same energy just in a different place, new friends and new adventures. Now these memories rest in my head as i journey to new ones. I don't plan on leaving sky tho, i wanna do more and i promised to play with someone special this summer, and I'm going to keep that promise.

[wh6res]

WHEN YOU FIND OUT HE HAS AN ONLYFANS BC HE ACCIDENTALLY CASTED HIS LAPTOP SCREEN TO THE SMART TV

feat. the ‘00 line : tw suggestive

✰ — RENJUN is mortified. wtf his screen turned black right as he was cropping off his face from the video of himself masturbating in the car, where he does most of his onlyfans content bc duh he can’t do it in the apartment. you were always straight home after classes. a homebody. he cant just splay himself on the bed and moan and whine loudly to his heart’s content or else you’ll hear him and god no he’d rather die than you finding out he has an onlyfans. but just as he was furiously pressing the space button of his laptop to get it work somehow, your head pokes inside the door. “uhm, renjun i think you accidentally casted your screen on the tv” “ha ha what? no i did not” and right on cue, he hears the very distinct “ugh baby bet you want this cock in your mouth don’t you? i do too” coming from the living room and his cheeks were tinged red when he fell to his knees. “yn please let me explain!”

✰ — JENO is proud. you and him are quite close, he wouldn’t call it being bestfriends but still, he’s comfortable in your presence and so are you with him. its not that he’s keeping his onlyfans a secret, it’s just you never really asked anyway so he didn’t tell you anything. you and him were chilling in the living room like always. just you getting some readings done on the coffee table while he edits his pictures on the sofa. he had his earphones on and everything and was just doing quick last touchups for this latest nude pic he’s going to post tonight. just when his laptop screen turned black, the smart tv opened on its own, you and jeno’s eyes widened questioningly until there it was. his nude pic; standing before the gym’s locker room mirror, holding his hard dick on one hand, phone on the other, with his tongue teasingly peaking out. “okay but can i see the real thing right now?” jeno doesn’t let the shock paint his features. simply, he smirks.“fine but no drooling”

✰ — HAECHAN is shameless. he’d be kinda confused as to why his laptop’s screen suddenly turned black on him while he’s editing the audio for a new video he’ll be uploading in the weekend. he’d be plugging up his laptop charger bc he thought the device was drained, until he heard slick sounds and his moans coming from the living room. where you were. holy shit. when he bolts out his room, he finds you choking on your chips, sat upright on the couch as you can’t even take your eyes off the screen. he was going to apologize but when he saw the pink tinge on your cheeks and the way your legs clenched as you watched the video of him jerking himself off, he didn’t feel sorry. “are you that fascinated that you can’t take your eyes off my cock, baby? there’s more where that came from” and when you shyly waddled inside his room well... “hey wanna make a sex video with me? we can split the money”

✰ — JAEMIN is clueless. so like jeno, jaem over here isn’t going crazy trying to keep his onlyfans a secret. he wanted to tell you initially about it but the topic was never breached in everyday conversation until eventually he forgot to tell you about it completely. he had been streaming live that night until his toe might’ve accidentally pressed the button that said screencast just as he was about to cum all over his hands. meanwhile you in the living room, raised an eyebrow when the movie cuts and you see him on screen, right when he says “i wish you were here with me. your pussy would feel amazing choking my cock” when his stream was over, he hears a knock on his bedroom door and he immediately put his pjs back on before opening it. “hey jaem thanks for free content, thats some good stuff you have there. maybe i can join in sometime, okay thats all i have to say! bye~” “uh wait hold tf up what do you mean”

✰ — YANGYANG is relieved. okay so yeah he’s keeping it a secret but only because from what he remembers, you were always more on the conservative side. bb is scared you might kick him out if you find out he’s a content creator at onlyfans. okay definitely, his secret keeping needs a little bit of work because he literally left the tab open, right on his profile. you and him were working on a project together and you had insisted he casts his laptop screen on the tv for the presentation file and boiiiii he accidentally casted the wrong tab omfg im dying. his fingers trembled trying to find the uncast button as the most recent video he posted autoplayed “hey babe, you back? daddy’s been waiting for such a long time i missed your sweet pussy” but he pauses when he hears you laughing. “omg yangyang! i cant believe you have a daddy kink wtf!” well at the end of the day, he’s just relieved he doesn’t have to hide it from you anymore and he can still live here.

✰ — SHOTARO is cheeky. okay if yalls think he’s going to be all innocent and embarrassed and soft uwu about the whole thing lmao hell no. i dont think he is. i bet he’s hiding all that sexayyy charisma under that cute face and it’s also probably why he’d have a hoard of people on his onlyfans. addicted to the contrast of that cute, soft voice of his going deep and domineering when the led lights in his room turn red. okay so you were running around the room almost late to your appointment when he “accidentally” hits screencast on his laptop. and suddenly the smart tv opened and he tried gulping down his laughter when you literally stopped in your tracks and watched the video of him unfold. “i bet baby’s laying down right now with her fingers shoved inside her cunny, getting off at the sight of my cock, hm slut?” your eyes widened like saucers and shit your pussy just clenched. “taro wtf is that-that you?” “i don’t know, why don’t you come here and find out, baby?”

headcanon reqs are open bitches !! had so much fun making this lmao idk alot abt onlyfans so im sorry if some of the details are wrong :'>