#new thing!!! what do we think rtc fandom

[oceanpilled]

daily ocean photo : day 1 ᡣ𐭩

Actor : Tiffany Tatreau

Production : 2018 Seattle

[iridescentis]

okay nvm not time to write time to sleep i need to be stopped

[moonmoonthecrabking]

it's quite frankly super unlikely that rtc will make it to broadway?? like could it? sure, never say never, but i think that the general vibe of the show plus it being a fully original story (not even historical!!) means that it probably isn't as marketable. the fandom isn't that big either, we're no hamilton (i say in relief). like if you look at how much popularity heathers got, but see that it never got on broadway, i think that rtc will probably be the same if it reaches that level?? however, it's more likely that it'll get onto the west end (still doubtful but possible!!)

[thatfkdupgrl]

There are many things that I dislike about the Ride the Cyclone fandom, and the one specifically that I wanna yap about is how some people see Mischa as a “dumb jock” like character. I wanna state my thoughts on it. He is most certainly the opposite of dumb. As we know, he speaks **4** languages. It takes a lot of skill to be bilingual, let alone in 4 languages. I see him more as someone who has a lot of potential and could most definitely get a scholarship, but he doesn’t try as hard as he can and instead likes to focus on his rap career. Even though he doesn’t try in classes, I feel like his average grades are F’s not because he sucks, but because he sometimes completely forgets to turn it in, or forgets about it in general due to heavily fixating on rap and his other passions.

Like a lot of people, I like to headcanon that Mischa is autistic, so I think of him more as someone who takes more time with picking up stuff socially and emotionally and not in a book-smart way. So when I say I think Mischa doesn’t understand the fact he’s bisexual and can’t grasp the fact he feels a small attraction to men isn’t because he doesn’t know what it is, but because he’s always seen himself as someone who’s attracted to girls, and the thought of going by a completely different label and sexuality is sort of intimidating for him in a way, especially for someone who seems to have fragile masculinity. Other stuff just clicks easier than others for him. For example, I like HC Mischa is Trans-masc. Before Mischa had his trans awakening, he still knew he liked girls. Since that was before he fully knew about labels and stuff, he didn’t mind the fact he was attracted to girls since it was nothing new. His transgender awakening and self-discovery is a whole other paragraph I can get into about my thoughts on the HC and what I feel like he might’ve gone through

I also heard another post mention how some people HC that he sucks at cooking while in reality that would also most likely be false for many reasons. For one being that he’s a major mama’s boy and probably would get a lot of skills from his mother, cooking being one of them. Two, he is very passionate about his culture and homeland, including the food there. He probably has memorized a lot of recipes from Ukrainian food to stay connected to his homeland. The reason I enjoy to HC the fact he mainly eats pizza rolls is because he doesn’t have access to ingredients, and well, a kitchen due to the fact he mainly has to stay in the basement and pizza rolls are quick and easy to make when being burnt out all the time since that can be an aftermath from being angry and enraged all the time. And for the people that do HC Mischa sucks at cooking, I’m not trying to go after you completely, I just love talking about RTC and love to find reasons to write about it. I myself also have HC’s that make 0 sense when looking back on the actual lore, so take what I say with a grain of salt:3!

[veliseraptor]

Rereading RTC for the seventh time (until anything you write about any fandom comes out- I read it ALL because it’s all GREAT) and we see a lot from his thoughts about why Loki loves Steve, but we don’t get as many thoughts from Steve (internal nor expressing to others) about the things he likes about Loki (at some point, yes, the magic, and obvious attraction, but there is something more). If inspiration strikes, ANY thoughts at all, from headcanons to a short one-shot, would be welcome!

I’m gonna go with headcanons, mostly because I’m already swamped with WIPs and am trying (very hard, mostly unsuccessfully) not to add new ones. And someone else actually sent this one as well! Y’all want to know, I guess.

The first and most obvious is that Loki’s smart, and Steve likes smart people. And not just like - book smart, though that is there, but clever, sharp, curious. At his best, Loki tends to be a very intellectually curious person with a broad range of things he’s interested in - while that can mean he gets bored with things fast it also means he’s quick to get into new things. And I think Steve finds that both endearing and admirable, partly in connection with something else I’m writing about later in this post. 

Being around Loki when he’s excited about something, enthusiastic about something, is fun. And the sheer range of curiosity is exciting, and the way that Loki will, if he’s allowed, talk endlessly about the things he’s currently fixated on. I think that’s something Steve appreciates - a quick mind and curiosity.

Another thing, that Steve’s actually mentioned explicitly to Loki, is his strength, his determination and sheer bloody-minded refusal to give up. Loki doesn’t see this in himself, but Steve does - because against all odds, even despite his self-destructive tendencies, through the various hells he’s walked through, Loki’s gotten back up, kept going, and clawed his way out of the worst place he’d been to rebuild himself and his life. Steve doesn’t underestimate what that takes, because he’s experienced that, and it’s something he loves in Loki. 

It’s true: he wavers, in dark moments, and that’s terrifying. But overall…if Loki feels like he’s weak for not being able to escape, Steve feels like he’s strong for getting out. And living: because Steve definitely knows that living, pulling yourself through day after day when things look bleak and you’re exhausted, is sometimes one of the hardest things there is.

There’s also Loki’s sense of humor - weirdly enough, theirs is kind of similar, though Loki’s can be a lot sharper and a lot crueler. There’s a lot of deadpan to it, and when that sharpness isn’t aimed to hurt it can be legitimately funny. When Loki is (again) at his best, the needling becomes playful, the mockery becomes teasing. 

I think another thing that’s major, other than the determination/perseverence above, is that Loki’s passionate. Despite all pretense, despite putting up emotional walls, Loki feels a lot and very strongly, and while that definitely has drawbacks (we see those drawbacks) it’s also a powerful thing. It means that while all the negative feelings are amplified, the positive ones are too, and seeing that emerge - seeing what Loki can be like when he’s not closed off, as he opens up to Steve and shows him more of himself - is one of the big things that brings Steve around to actually realizing that he does really like Loki, even before he figures out that he’s attracted to him.

The depth of feeling there. The emotional intensity. Even with the consequences of those things, I think Steve feels like there’s something there he wants to know, and wants to be a part of, particularly as someone who also feels things very strongly and spends a lot of time trying to keep those things restrained. 

There’s a resonance, a familiarity, in a painful way but also a satisfying one. 

Another thing Steve deeply appreciates is how Loki treats him, which is different than other people do. However much people care about him, Steve always feels like, with most people on Earth, there’s a bit of the shadow of Captain America and the cultural baggage that comes with it. Even when that baggage isn’t there Steve expects it to be, and it’s hard for him to shake that awareness of this kind of dual identity/weight of expectations.

But Loki doesn’t have that baggage. At all. He doesn’t particularly care about Captain America except in the ways it’s something Steve does - he approaches Steve without any sense of him as an icon or a representation of something else. And that’s both refreshing and freeing. 

I think the challenging thing for Steve is that while a lot of this is there, always, and he’s very aware of it - he’s not as verbal as Loki. He doesn’t think of things quite so much in terms of a list of “these are the things I love about you” unless he’s really making a point of it. And on some level he knows he should make a point of it, but that doesn’t come easily.

For him in some ways, what he feels about Loki just is, and he doesn’t think he should need to justify it. 

[rtcessays]

Essay 1

I heard you killed your only friend last year Disarm The fog won’t lift in your town

Q’s for Lise

What inspired you to sit down and write, what it sounds like you assumed would be a one shot, or at the least the start of a very short and sweet ‘verse?

I definitely initially thought it would be a one-shot, and honestly as I wrote it I didn’t even know that I was going to publish it. I can’t exactly remember what I was thinking - pretty early on after watching The Avengers for the first time my girlfriend started me thinking about Steve and Loki, though initially not necessarily as a pairing - just as a pair that might have interesting interactions. The plot mostly came from needing an excuse for them to interact and having a deep, abiding love of whump.

Basically, “how do I put Steve and Loki in a place together and get them to have a conversation? Oh, I know, I’ll just beat Loki up.”

Was there a clear point where you said something like, ‘Hey, there might be more to this than I originally thought?’ through this first series of installments?

Yes.

Disarm mostly happened because I felt like I’d left some hanging threads, and started imagining what the next meeting between Steve and Loki - on more equal footing - might look like. So I wrote that one, mostly thinking “well, I’ll just see what happens here”, hit the end of it, and went “wait, there’s definitely more here that I want to write.”

It seems like pretty early that I knew I started shipping them - already Disarm is marked as pre-slash. But I don’t think I started out with what became sort of the goal of this first segment of fics: getting them to a point where they were really in a relationship. I think it wasn’t really until I was midway through the third fic that I realized where this all was going and started to think I might have tripped into something.

a/n for the essay from ‘I heard you killed your only friend last year’:

I am still hilariously new to all things this fandom and sincerely apologize for any inaccuracies.

Where were you at when you first started? Had you been reading comics your whole life, or was this your introduction to these characters?

The only comics I’d read at the time I started writing RTC were a few scattered Batman comics, Sandman, Lucifer, and some fables. I hadn’t opened a single Marvel comic in my life, and while I watched Thor in 2011 nothing really came of it. I don’t remember watching any of the other movies when they came out, though I might have and just not really left an impression.

Then I went to The Avengers in May of 2012 and just got - slammed. Suddenly I had all these feelings about characters, especially Loki, with a whole new amount of intensity. I started writing fic for the MCU almost immediately after I got out of the theater, of which I heard you killed your only friend was a very early one. At the time, I had no idea what I was doing. I mean, I went back and watched everything over again, and began my deep dive into comics fandom (starting with Black Widow), but...May 2012 was really where my MCU pit started. --

Remember This Cold has humble beginnings in I heard you killed your only friend last year. What eventually becomes a richly filled ‘verse begins almost as a writer’s exercise. How does character A respond to character B, and vice versa. It is a laboratory environment, poking and prodding at the two in order to determine...well, we’re not sure exactly, at first. And that is for the best, as we have the pleasure of unfolding this particular mystery as the author does.

The back and forth of Steve and Loki’s interactions, sizing one another up  through the fic, is reflective of the author feeling out the belief that Loki and Steve are viable as a pairing, and investigating how their beliefs, morals, and cadences fit together. Lise has come to be synonymous with Loki, but her voice for Steve is dead on accurate, right from the start. Also, her understanding that Steve is layered, and has a depth that goes overlooked in the source material (remember this was written post Avengers).

There’s a magnetism to this iteration of Loki that the reader feels through Steve. Steve Rogers is an upstanding gentleman through and through, known for doing the right thing. There’s no grappling with this for him, as he quietly insists on taking care of someone who just leveled Manhattan. But is there more to it?

“Just something to think about,” Steve said, after a moment. “If you get tired of running.”

Its a nice set up for further exploration, which follows in Disarm, wherein we begin Loki’s penchant for showing up unannounced. For those of us waiting for the romantic elements to be included, the rapid slow burn is tantalizing from the first scene. Steve is playing ethics with Loki, to a degree, and Loki...well, Loki is kind of slippery. Being from Steve’s perspective, Loki’s machinations are secret and therefore, more captivating.

For new readers, its almost a requirement to travel back in time in order to picture this Loki. Deliberately made out as a menacing villain, it is a largely flat characterization. The beauty of fanfiction, of course, is we can breathe life and breadth into a character. Making room for an eventual romantic focus is secondary to making room for a more rounded out individual who might be capable of such a thing. We just begin to see it in how Steve’s tempered treatment seems to get under Loki’s skin.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say. Steve’s thoughts may be preoccupied with Loki, but upon being confronted by them, the reader imagines he might feel like a mouse being batted around by a cat. Loki’s speech is a rabbit warren of clues and suggestions, none of which Steve has the conversational skills to navigate. But, that doesn’t do anything to assuage his patience or curiosity. The questions of ‘how can Steve stand by and allow this to go on’ may start to come up. Is it unfair that he treat Loki with some kind of deference? Maybe it is. Maybe, just maybe, Steve Rogers has a flaw or two. Alternatively, its possible there’s more to Loki than meets the eye, and Steve’s instincts are serving him well.

Almost too literally, Steve gets a peek at Loki’s true state and when he pushes, he only gets Loki’s verbose command of language. That all changes when Loki shows his underbelly, and Steve sees what being dogged by (presumably) Thanos or the Chitauri has cost him. Loki views Steve as a safe place, that much is obvious, but the reader is left to wonder why. Is it because Steve would do the right thing and Loki knows it? Is it a sign of something more? Hmm.

The notion that this is a thought exercise is expunged by the time we reach the fog won’t lift in your town. It’s subtle, but the potential transition to something altogether not platonic is illustrated in this first sign of attraction:

He [Loki] glanced down at the pear and took another bite of it, eyes drifting closed in what looked like blissful delight. “Mmm,” he said, head tilted slightly back, and Steve felt the inexplicable urge to look away.

Its a brief interlude, perhaps almost a foreshadowing. The m/m reader is sitting up straight, now; the author has our attention as themes might begin to shift.

“You would not. You will find, Captain, that believing a thing, no matter how passionately, does not make it so.”

Loki says this, and it is a moment where you can see past his dramatic airs to find a truth of his. And it’s of course as cynical as Steve is optimistic. These little morsels we get in the back and forth that’s flavored the series so far are gems that keep you hooked, and allow you to truly begin to fall for a character.

The stakes are raised when their conversation, as it sometimes does, turns into a concern over who’s allowed to do what. Steve can’t turn his back to Loki, Loki can play the puppet master and toy with Steve. Expressly forbidding it, Steve makes to leave and Loki’s having none of it. Though, once Steve does in fact stay, we get another one of those morsels when Loki admits it is easiest for him to be cruel.

Then, he’s more or less threatening the Avengers should Steve not keep his repeated presence a secret, and we’ve snapped back to the persona Loki has been favoring. Steve, as ever, doesn’t care. He presses on, and claims his debt in the form of Loki doing a good deed. Sometimes it's hard to determine if Steve is deluded, or if Loki is the one who doesn’t truly know himself.

Good deed or no, one has to wonder why Loki chose to text Steve. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but Loki is adding another way to communicate with Steve, only to show up in person once Steve has seen the news coverage. Its another subtle nod to what’s to come.

A noted marker of more of the same is the epithet of ‘my Captain’. Without Loki’s perspective, we can only guess at where he’s coming from...which in itself is a quagmire. We’re best left to trust the author and continue enjoying the ride.

Take a risk, he [Steve] told himself, and tried to ignore the little voice that said he was taking too many.

This in response to Loki bringing up Steve’s potential melancholy for things that were, it is notable in that Steve is becoming maybe a little conscious of how he is compromising himself. Let us not forget that that is, contrary to some belief, not entirely out of character for him. Taking risks got him to where he is, in countless variations on a theme. His willingness to be vulnerable pays off, as Loki admits simply that there are, in fact, things he misses about Asgard.

As we continue, Steve grows more bold and Loki somewhat more callus. He brings up Bucky Barnes, and though initially not by name, it’s obvious who he’s referring to. It is here that Steve tries drawing a line in the sand.

“Don’t try to tell me that,” Steve interrupted. “You don’t like something I say, say so. Don’t just – don’t just take off and then come back determined to have some kind of revenge. You can’t – go around hurting people just because they hurt you.”

“Why not,” Loki said, his voice lofty, but there was something low and vicious underneath. “That is the world, is it not? Give and take. Action and reaction. Strike and retaliation.”

And here we have two opposing sets of beliefs. Steve proceeds to shut down the conversation, and that is how the scene ends, before opening up into a new scene, a slow revelation that something happened and Steve has been hurt. Loki is there when he wakes, which is maddening! How long has he been there with him, one wants to know, and do the other Avengers know? Loki is clearly distressed. Here we have some explicit emotional whump, as Loki insists he’s simply not trustworthy. Steve might be tired, hurt, and out of it perhaps, but it bears out more of his emotion.

“No, and I was wrong.” He needed to salvage this, and wasn’t sure why it was so important, only that it was.

It’s important because Loki has become part of his life, and Loki needed to understand Steve saw things in him Loki probably refused to believe he could ever possess. Our final segment concludes on a very good recap: 

Still. He couldn’t help but feel a little twinge of something like hope. Maybe just a little. Four steps forward, three steps back.

Even if he still didn’t know where they were going, or if, or why. It was still something.

[veliseraptor]

Did this one last year, and I figured I’d go ahead and do it again, because I love aggregate memes so much.

2017 Fanfiction Round-Up

Total Year-Long Wordcount: Okay so. I actually have an approximate near-exact number for this, though it includes some original fiction and some nonfiction, but as I actually put in the work for the full year of recording daily wordcount...

The total number of words I wrote between 1/1/16-12/31/17 was: 542,613.

so there’s that.

This year I wrote and posted: There 48 works on AO3 that were updated in 2017 (though some of those are multichapter) and there are 125 posts from this year in my fic tag, so I’m going to go with somewhere on the order of...um, maybe just over 100 including counting individual chapters of things?

Once again, this meme makes me feel like I’m kind of insane.

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I always feel like I’m surprised by how much I actually did write, because...idk, it doesn’t feel like that much most of the time when I’m doing it? But then I look back and like. I wrote somewhere between the word count of the entirety of Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. That actually is kind of a lot. 

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Hmmm. I did not expect to trip and fall headfirst into Loki/Grandmaster as a pairing but, as I have described, I really should have expected that. Barring that...it was an unexpected delight to write some Wheel of Time fic, even if I’ve been totally spoiled by writing for big fandoms. 

Other than that, I feel like my fic this year was pretty par for the course for my usual.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? This is hard, but ultimately I think I might have to go with Mending. I felt like...idk, it’s very close to my heart, and I felt like I really did a lot of what I wanted to with it. 

But I also ended up feeling really proud of we’re not the only ones - it was a really fun outsider POV to write, and involved getting to explore some new character dynamics in an old ‘verse.

And then there’s Steve Rogers’ Halfway House for Notorious Supervillains, which has also been a complete and utter pleasure.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Man...I’m not sure that I did. Other than the fact that I wrote sounding fic (finally) which is a kink I’ve always liked but never written. That was new and exciting, and turned out really well, actually. Other than that...I don’t know, it doesn’t really feel like a risk per se but I do feel like I embraced more this year just writing all the tropes I love and am periodically ashamed of, because you know what, why not.

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year: By kudos, still Life in Reverse, by far. After that, as far as stories written just this year: Steve Rogers’ Halfway House for Notorious Supervillains, and then the ship at the end of the universe.

The surprise for me is that the next one is The Breaking Light, which I really would not expect.

Most fun story to write: It feels weird to call it “fun” but oddly enough all the glamour and the trauma basically spilled out of me in one go. 

Story with the single sexiest moment: I feel like the entirety of that spark of black that I seem to love was a sexiest moment for me. 

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: This one was so much easier last year when I wrote The Vivisection Mambo which is still probably the creepiest, darkest story I’ve ever written! This year...hmm. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I feel like writing both Halfway House and that spark of black that I seem to love both gave me new perspectives on characters - Steve for both, and also Bucky and Sam in Halfway House. 

Hardest story to write: I feel like this one has to go to Privation, which took me, what, three years to finish? 

Biggest Disappointment: I’m definitely disappointed in certain segments of fandom for their choice of response for certain methods of writing certain pairings. 

Here’s looking at you, rude anons. 

Also disappointed that I didn’t make more progress on Life in Reverse this year. I was really hoping to get further than I did.

Biggest Surprise: The response to Steve Rogers’ Halfway House for Notorious Supervillains and how positive it was. I was not expecting that story to get much of a response, but it really has, which delights me - it’s been a joy to write and I’ve been so excited by how much other people seem to be enjoying it, since it’s basically just a lot of talking and feelings, really. 

Which I guess is kind of my specialty? But...still. 

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: Maybe one hand on my throat, and one on your heart? It’s one of the most self-indulgent things I’ve written, possibly ever. Which is telling in a lot of ways about what I like.

But also probably...hm. All of my Loki/Grandmaster fics say a lot about me and what I like. 

This one was easier last year, too. Maybe Mending/Reweaving, both of those are very...personal in weird ways. 

Favorite Opening Line(s):

Apparently the new slogan that they should be operating under was “if something falls out of the sky, call the Avengers.” (look, behind you without a sound)

Loki was executed in a chamber hidden deep within the Raft prison. (the first part of the everything sucks AU)

If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend the dark was a choice. (Boxed In)

On Friday, May 4th, 2012, an alien came to Earth and warned of an invasion that would follow unless they listened very, very closely. (Ghosts That We Knew)

One of the things Loki had learned very quickly about survival in recent years was the necessity of compartmentalization. If something could not be changed, and could not be dealt with, then it had to be pushed aside and locked away to be dealt with later. Prioritize. Focus on the immediate necessities. Everything else could wait until later. Or, preferably, never. (all the glamour and the trauma)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

The city falls, and Idril’s eyes blaze with hatred, and there is blood in his eyes, and he swears he almost remembers this, almost dreamed it once. Soon he is going to wake up, in shadows under the trees, and he will be young again, and whole. (Seven Years)

No one, Loki had realized, broke all at once. You broke in stages, in bits and pieces, giving a little at a time until you looked at yourself and realized the pathetic scraps that were left, until you saw what was at the core and were sick at the knowing. (between the essence and the descent)

Nothing grows from anger, her mother had said once, before she died (was killed, left her, was murdered). Wanda thought she was wrong. Something was growing from hers. (object impermanence)

Loki lay awake through the night, staring upwards, trying to still his mind to no avail. There was a scream locked behind his teeth that he could not unleash. (untitled)

Loki’s eyes drifted mostly closed. “You cannot die,” he said. “That is your curse. And mine. We live and keep living, beyond endurance, beyond reason.” (a lane to the land of the dead)

How long, he wondered, had Loki been convinced of this? Further back than when he’d found out the truth about his heritage, Steve thought, or even Thor’s coronation. It was a wound so old Loki didn’t even notice the scar. (we can see the future (and the dreams it’s made of))

He didn’t know how to explain to Thor how it was to be in a situation where you knew that your refusal would have no meaning; that the only power you had was in choosing how to assent. (all the glamour and the trauma)

He loved Thor. He’d always loved Thor. Desperately, hopelessly, fatally. (farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear)

“Don’t be coy, Captain. There is so much anger burning in you. I can feel it. That violence seething just beneath the surface. It terrifies you, doesn’t it? So you hold it down and push it away. Stop fighting it. Embrace it.” He cocked his head to the side. “I am offering you an exorcism.” (that spark of black that I seem to love)

But maybe there was something to be said for standing, even if it was standing still. (the mercy covering me)

“You see yourself as trapped, Loki. Cornered. But there are doors in front of you, if you will choose to take them. I could choose for you, or your mother could. Your brother would like to drag you through. But whatever you choose now, it must be yours.” (Mending)

“Everything is eternal, and nothing is. Bonds wither and decay. I-” He shook his head, scowling. “This is what your lover and I argue about. Or one of the things. He doesn’t debate well.” (post war blues)

Thor’s smile made Loki want to smile back. He settled back down, and if it weren’t for - well, everything, it might almost have been one of their old rooms, back in Asgard, the two of them bandying words back and forth. But Thor had an eyepatch, the room was small and shabby, Asgard was ashes and so was the innocent purity of their brotherhood. (the ship at the end of the universe)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

I would love to have the scene illustrated from one hand on my throat, and one on your heart where Steve finds Loki, either just looking at him bent backwards and chained up suffering or where he’s trying to shake Loki out of the memory with Thanos. 

Also anything from the Tapestries series, especially the scene at the end of Mending with Loki and Odin. 

But honestly, like. Anything. 

Fic-writing goals for 2018:

last year I wrote down “finishing ‘we’re not friends, we’re strangers with memories’” and I did that so this year I’m going to say “finish Life in Reverse”

get better at replying to peoples’ comments

finish the RTC: Ragnarok fic before Infinity War comes out

finish the Doctrine of Labyrinths and Merlin fics I’ve been sitting on forever