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magic 🌼💫 made for New Crop Shop 11/15/17
#Flower collage#collage artist#collage#flowers#mixed media#handmade#artists of Tumblr#boho art#bohemian#handmade art#100 day project#flower core#nature aesthetic#women artists#collage art#female artists#musebl00mshandmade#musebl00ms#illustration#new crop shop#caftan#clientw0rk
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Hi y'all, I just wanted to talk a little about the behind the scenes of what I've been up to, to give y'all a little transparency and to open myself up for any tips or input! 🙏 Thank you for your continued support and for taking the time to look at my art 🫶
First and foremost I wanted to give some transparency about my art capacity.
As og followers may remember, I started this blog when I was doing art full time. Eventually my living expenses grew and I had to go back to work. I find myself in a cycle of "I'll make more art soon, once I get a job!" And "I'll make more art soon, once I am done with this job!" I lost my most recent job suddenly, having had an extension waved over my head until the last day(October 7th). Now I'm excited to have more time for art, but I am also feeling a rush to get a new job ASAP as I've been living paycheck to paycheck. I dream of doing this work full time, I'm just scared it's not quite there yet and I worry that I come off as scammy or dishonest when I anticipate more stability around the corner.
Second, I've been struggling with the Patreon. It's taken me a while to come to terms with this, but from what I've seen Patreon is not intuitive at all from the creator end. It doesn't do a good job of organizing addresses, emails, showing who or who isn't subscribed to me, or organizing and displaying the work I put on there. I've been really shocked by this experience, since lots of big names use Patreon. It's been a great way to streamline support, but it's been unhelpful in every other regard. I would like to continue using it, but I will most likely post more wips or process videos there in the future.
Which brings me to my third point, zines. I love making zines so much, it feels personal and fulfilling and fun! However the Patreon issues make it harder to keep information in order about where to send zines, or even where to message folks about them. In addition to this, the post office has been a big barrier to me, oftentimes only being open at the same time as my dayjob. Making zines can take days, then sending them out is a whole other monster.
This work is so important to me. Drawing peoples fantasies, representing body types, creating work around sexuality and the human experience feels like what I'm meant to do. I've made comics since I was a kid. This is the dream to me. The friends I've been able to make through this work are so important to me, and the conversations have been invaluable. Not to mention fun! I wanna doodle, I wanna draw hot stuff, I wanna thirst over these dudes! I want to play!
But I also just want to be transparent about the barriers I'm working around to share that experience. I'm completely self taught, both in art AND in running shops, building websites, running 8 accounts, etc. I take a lot of time to learn the logistics of these things, and try to make them make sense for my relationship with y'all (I do not want to paywall my art!! I don't want to!!!). This year my desktop broke down (the main one I use for all paintings and digital art). I've paused my Etsy shops and my Patreon to try to catch up with things. Trying to learn to paint in a completely different program. Then lost my job with no savings.
At the end of the day I don't want anything to come between me sharing my art with you. I wish I could doodle a thing, take a picture, and post it here. No third party site, no shop, no subscription. Just sharing my art with you. I promise I'm trying to figure out how to stay as close to that as possible, and I want to thank y'all for sticking with me as I untangle all of that.
So, what can you expect in the near future?
I'm working on a couple of painting commissions right now, which you should be able to see in the next couple of days! I want to catch up on kinktober and get those posted as well. There's a comic commission in progress which I'm very eager to work on, and which I think y'all will be excited for! To ease the weight of the Patreon I think I may do less zines/polls there and more wips and process videos! If possible, I want to do more full colored work too.
Thank you again for enjoying my work, and if you have any input or tips my inbox is always open 🙏🫶💕
#long post#info#marco lore#i wish i had time to edit this and make it nice#i just wanted to be open with yall about how much work this takes and that im trying to make it more doable#i don't want to overpromise stuff with patreon or shops and if im late sending stuff i never ever want it to come off as intentional or mali#malicious or as a scam#im just trying very hard to like ...survive. financially. and then trying to make all the logistics of thos big machine work. and then keep#up with commissions and shops and printing and mailing#god i wish i had employees but jts just me#i hand draw everything and then post it here to the word press to the ig and crop and caption and tag#then to the Patreon if it makes sense to or to the tiktok back in the day#and the formatting is all different#and i get messages across all of these platforms and I'm trying to learn a new way of painting on the fly#on top of that im supposed to be running my two Etsy shops too which im not right now because..broadly gestures#my nervous system can only take losing a job so often. the rug was really pulled feom under me in this one. i thought id have more time#i don't want to sound like I'm whining and i don't want to give up on all of this#i want to be very very very clear that art is what i love and who i am and what i want to do#i want to be posting on the daily again#i just need to evaluate what that looks like everytime life changes#I'm seriously so grateful for those of y'all that have joined the Patreon or bought stuff from the shop i really don't mean to drop the ball#so many times#y'all have literally been the difference between me making rent or not and I'm so worried that i don't make enough art to give back to that#relationship#im trying my best#okay anyways im posting this
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Dnd is going well :)
btw the person whos playing martin has a tumblr now!! go say hi :) @skyland-doodles
bonus cus drawing like this is so fun omg
btw this is Selena! (another player character) shes a fairy and a literal child so jon and martin are basically co parenting her :))) shes also very loud
#they were shopping for suits and martin kept failing his investigation checks to find one that fit jon... thus the crop top happened#why are they shopping for suits? idk they just wanted to. for fun#trying out this new brush setting and it looks like colored pencil.. or like crayons#i kinda love it#martin blackwood#jmart#jonmartin#dnd#jarchivist#jonathan sims#tma#the magnus archives#i should make a tag for them...#my goofy jmart dnd campaign#yeah that works#eggdoodles#my ocs
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~ resell items, cleaning closet ~
¹⁾ 100 PCS Extra Long Straight Square Tips for Acrylic Nails with Box
• Vcedas Extra Long C Curve Nail Tips
• Material: Acrylic, High Quality ABS.
• Color: Natural, White
• Quantity: 100PCS
• Style: Acrylic, Half Cover
• Length: 1.77 Inch-1.22 Inch (4.5CM-3.2CM)
* not new & unused *
🔗 https://depop.app.link/3pTpXj9cgMb
²⁾ Colored nail tips
• Beetles Pre-filed Neutral Color Nail Tips: 240 Pcs Matte False Nail Tips, with thin back edge for fitting cuticle line, matte undermeath for better adhesion. Providing a chic look, like your nails is glowing naturally. Make your spring season even more beautiful with this press on nails.
• Popular Medium Almonds Shape Suitable for Daily Wear: Double side pre-etched acrylic nail tips. Soft Pink, no need for filing and applying color gel. Just one coat of top gel for instant jelly-effect nails. You can also diy before applying the top coat.
• Variety of Sizes: The nails offer 15 different sizes, a total of 240pcs. Each nail tip has a small number of the corresponding size on it.
• High Quality & Healthy: Matte full cover false nail tips are made with high quality material, they are breathable, lightweight and durable, makes your nails look natural and nice. Have no toxins, no smell, no harm to your nails and health.
* new & unused *
🔗 https://depop.app.link/QPisXrodgMb
³⁾ Off-Shoulder Crop Top
• cropped checkered top with ruffly sleeves
• brand: 36 point 5
• color: black & white
• size: small
* preloved *
🔗 https://depop.app.link/BhtVg2tdgMb
🔗 https://www.ebay.com/itm/156272199125?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=wnbdavcqtac&sssrc=2051273&ssuid=wnbdavcqtac&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY
#reseller#depopseller#depop shop#depop#ebayseller#ebayshop#ebaystore#selling on ebay#ebay#preloved#new items#acrylic nails#nail tips#off shoulder#crop top#buynow#buy#for sale
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meow 🐱
#saurry i need to scream#i need a relationship Now bc without one or at least a crush i fixate on my friends and pick at things that annoy me#little things that supposedly prove that No One likes me ever actually. or that they dont like me as much as i like them#or that they like everyone else better but me. or that im not really important in theri life ar all. Yikers#anyway i got like 6 new shirts 😋 all crops yipe#sorry i physically cant. shop for the others fashion tastes. its too hard to be not cute#post#maes tag
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//yeah
#//got a new item from the shop and it screamed lambda so#//ignore the legs cropping through the dress it does that sometimes#//testing out belt too and augh both of these look great#//don't mind the silly virtual game posting lol#backup log {ooc}
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My side vegetable plans went awry today when the shop didn't have asparagus (I mean, it's the middle of winter, of course they won't have asparagus)-
so I decided to just have some sauerkraut with the meal (which was mashed potatoes and "meat"loaf, because we are poor white trash)-
and it was amazing.
Sauerkraut my beloved <3
#food#vegan#sauerkraut fandom#it'll be nice when spring comes and the new spring crop of asparagus hits the shops#also shoutout to my wife that makes the best mashed potatoes in the world. way better than my mom's.#and its literally just boiling the potatoes and using the boiling water as the mashening liquid with just a teaspoon of margarine.
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Like. What are natural instances in which you may catch a glimpse of someone else's midriff. I'm trying to script the moment where Reo realizes Maverick doesn't have a fucking bellybutton but Ricky wears his shirt tucked in and also wears the same thing every day so chances of accidental reveal are slimmer than usual. I mean it's my story and my characters so I can do anything forever but...
#i was planning maybe. after Reo realizes Maverick wears literally the same 2-3 sets of clothes every day he attemps to take him shopping#and idk maybe something happens then. either a sweatshirt removal mishap (those always take ur fucking shirt with and show midriff)#OR. idk someone puts maverick in a cropped shirt and reo is like. um. maybe not for you......#phx news#mvrckposting
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Selection of the hyper icons and animations for various characters in 100% Animal Crossing Juice mod. Only available via the support mod; which has now updated with even more Animal Crossing related effects alongside support for the new “Sleep Gods” DLC. 100% AC Support mod: https://gamebanana.com/mods/383864 100% AC Main mod: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2617764418
#100oj#100% orange juice#animal crossing#mod#board game#For a run down; it's Cephalobot using Ribbot invasion and Pascals Shell count (plus Frank using balloon celebration)#Then Muffy's pitfall trap. with a organic pitfall bomb nearby to show difference. (plus new card display orange)#Wolfgangs moonlight hyper and Drago has Jacks Trick or Treat hyper. Kapp'n has a crops Island defensive boost applied#Wilbur's soaring hyacinth attack and Joan's turnip field applied to spaces (Plus Hyper card treasure event and mushroom event enabled)#And finally Redd's "black market shop' set up. with Bianca's apex predator targetting effect dangerously close if he's the target!#Oh Muffy also as treasure present event and the top 3 have AC style backgrounds on and behind Kapp'n; Ribbot is part of AC background.#The characters themselves. board space designs and buildings on the cobblestone squares are all from the main mod.#Everything listed is support mod exclusive (as they're not available via Steam Workshop)
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Stay Chic & Cozy this Winter with TRONFORM’s Cropped Windbreaker: Perfect for the modern woman who values both style and warmth, the TRONFORM Women’s Cute Cropped Windbreaker brings effortless charm to your winter wardrobe. Lightweight yet cozy, this limited edition piece is your new go-to for layering on brisk days or elevating your city looks. Whether you’re stepping out for a casual stroll or making a statement on the streets, this windbreaker adds a refined touch to any outfit.
Effortless Warmth. Everyday Elegance. ✨ Embrace the season with style—don’t just dress, make an impression. Limited Stock Available! Tap the link to shop now and own this exclusive piece from TRONFORM’s 2024 Winter Collection. Your wardrobe deserves it!
Shop now: https://www.tronform.co/products/tronform-women-s-cute-cropped-windbreaker-tronform-2024-winter-collection
#TRONFORM #WinterEssentials #LuxuryOuterwear #CroppedStyle #FashionForward #EffortlessElegance #StayWarmInStyle #WinterWardrobe #LuxuryLifestyle #FashionWithMeaning #CityChic #TimelessFashion #OuterwearGoals #FYP #ForYouPage #ExplorePage
#Stay Chic & Cozy this Winter with TRONFORM’s Cropped Windbreaker: Perfect for the modern woman who values both style and warmth#the TRONFORM Women’s Cute Cropped Windbreaker brings effortless charm to your winter wardrobe. Lightweight yet cozy#this limited edition piece is your new go-to for layering on brisk days or elevating your city looks. Whether you’re stepping out for a cas#this windbreaker adds a refined touch to any outfit.#Effortless Warmth. Everyday Elegance. ✨ Embrace the season with style—don’t just dress#make an impression. Limited Stock Available! Tap the link to shop now and own this exclusive piece from TRONFORM’s 2024 Winter Collection.#Shop now: https://www.tronform.co/products/tronform-women-s-cute-cropped-windbreaker-tronform-2024-winter-collection#TRONFORM#WinterEssentials#LuxuryOuterwear#CroppedStyle#FashionForward#EffortlessElegance#StayWarmInStyle#WinterWardrobe#LuxuryLifestyle#FashionWithMeaning#CityChic#TimelessFashion#OuterwearGoals#FYP#ForYouPage#ExplorePage
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desert magic 🌵🌸✨ made for New Crop Shop 08/30/17
#Flower collage#collage artist#collage#flowers#mixed media#handmade#artists of Tumblr#boho art#bohemian#handmade art#100 day project#flower core#nature aesthetic#women artists#collage art#female artists#musebl00mshandmade#musebl00ms#new crop shop#caftan#clientw0rk
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Streetwear Society plaid crop top
#fashion#cute#ebay#selling#womens clothing#clothing#ebayseller#ebaystore#wastedgold#shopping#crop top#plaid#streetwear society#new#nwt#style#xl#soft
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So many people will tell you to "forgive and forget" or turn the other cheek when people treat you poorly. We are not about that life! Sometimes it's important to burn bridges or to remember who hurt you so that you don't let it happen again. If you, like us, are in the "resent and remember" crowd, we have a new shirt for you!
If you like this shirt, you might also vibe with our "Professional Bridge Burner" design! Use your wardrobe to remind people you are not to be trifled with. Both of these (and so many other LGBTQ+, fandom, and D&D) designs are available now in our Polycraftory etsy shop!
Check out our pinned post for all of our links (since tumblr is very hostile to external linking). While you are there, please consider giving us a follow! We are a polycule of disabled queer creators that are just getting started <3
#artists on tumblr#queer#lgbtq#funny#funny shirt#humor#polyamory#queer artist#disabled artist#polycraftory#shop drop#etsy#etsyshop#small business#clothing#tshirt#okay okay so we kind of took the last week off#but we have a huge backlog of designs and really wanted to post something#It is really hard to both actually rest and recover from covid#but also start a business and be SO HYPE to do stuff for it#we are really going to be kicking into full gear next week though expanding our product types#we have approved sweatshirts and joggers and crop tops and muscle shirts#I just need time to make new listing templates and size charts#one step at a time#trying to practice the rest that i preach#especially during disability pride month#chronic fatigue is a nightmare#i'm so smol and so sleeby#but also NEW BUSINESS STUFF HELL YEA
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Today on Hermitcraft:
Pearl: streams for EIGHT HOURS becoming a redstone master building a wordle-type game for her new shop
Tango: is so proud of Pearl they're both struggling for words and it's so adorable I'm gonna explode
Docm77: Shows up in the middle of the proud speech to FINALLY ORDER HIS MAILBOX at a location FIVE HUNDRED BLOCKS AWAY as measured by NETHER TRAVEL
Etho: shows up in the middle of this order (bounces in the window like an excited puppy) to assure Doc that Tango absolutely has that order covered (Tango Panik noises)
And now they're all hangin out together talking over Pearl's cool mini game and hanging out and idk my crops are watered, my skin is clear, etc etc
Bonus:
Zombiecleo: gets roped into a meeting with doc on the steps of the new courthouse that sounds serious only for doc to reveal a crazy redstone gadget that *does* celebrate pride month but might also deafen cubitos in sound range
(livestream June 5th 2024)
#hermitcraft#ethoslab#Pearlescentmoon#tangotek#docm77#Zombiecleo#hermitblogging#Livestream june 5th 2024#hc s10#hermitcraft 10#your honor I love them#PET postal service#hermitblogging faves
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the linen & knit cardigan presale is now live! all-new tunics, cropped cardigans, and knit cardigans in various designs 💖
be sure to read the listings carefully for all details! SHOP
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From Scratch
Nutrition Info: Johnny/Reader; 4k; a meetcute launched by Reader's inability to cook reasonable portions, and Johnny's... well, just Johnny
No matter how long you live alone, you can’t get the hang of cooking for one person. Even when you try to make a single-serving meal instead of batch cooking, somehow it balloons out of control. Wasting food makes you feel awful, but you can only freeze so much.
One evening, desperate and utterly fed up, you go kick gently at a neighbor’s door, both hands full, trying to mimic a knock with your shoe. Jason, you think his name was? Striking blue eyes, big frame, a cute cropped mohawk, amazing brogue, and he’s always been cordial when you’ve run into him around the building. Friendly, but not too friendly.
He’s understandably confused by your request at first, but seems happy enough for the food, and takes it around your repeated apologies–for bothering him, for existing, for anything you can find, really.
Unfortunately, not even forcing yourself to go and do all of that manages to pierce your shite sense of volume. Your trips to his door do get less awkward over time, though. And Johnny, his name is, always has sparklingly clean dishes and containers to return in exchange for the full ones.
Eventually he just starts showing up at your place instead and eats with you at your bar counter. He didn’t really ask, and you definitely didn’t, but there he is all the same, and… if you're honest? He’s just so easy to be around, it quickly feels natural having him there. He puts you off your guard, puts you at ease and makes you smile, like those are somehow the most natural things in the world.
From that first night, Johnny has insisted on helping with dishes. Starting the second, he’s always got groceries with him. Even manages to talk you out of your discomfort over accepting them, so well that on his fourth night, you’ve got a small shopping list ready. He’s cheeky, you don’t think he’ll mind. And he is right, after all: you're probably feeding him at least three or four nights out of the week, what with all the leftovers.
You start eating better, and trying new things you'd always planned on “getting around to,” now that you've got a reason to cook beyond not starving. Everything comes out fine the first time you make it, when you’re closely following a recipe, and Johnny has no qualms about trying anything you put in front of him. You’ve never met someone so genuinely un-fussy when it comes to food.
A couple months after he’s started eating at your place, he disappears for a while. “Work trip,” is all he'll say, and you don’t pry, even though you really want to.
Once he’s back, he starts coming over weekend afternoons sometimes. You do brunch with beer or fancy drinks in champagne flutes, or occasional breakfast on the roof before other people are awake, him in a big hoodie or jumper, and you wearing a thick blanket like it's trying to digest you, looking like a half-drowned cat because no living being is meant to be awake at such an hour.
You cut fruit into mangled flowers and vague geometric shapes for the brunches, usually while just spending time with him. He tries his hand at it once, with you pulling up videos, laughing the whole time you’re explaining how it’s supposed to work, and the utter bastard is better at it on his first go than you were after weeks. His hands are confoundingly steady, and his hand-eye coordination borders on the unnatural.
That’s probably the official start of his sous chef arc. And that’s what has him spending a night judging your knives and marveling, repeatedly and loudly, that you still have all your fingers.
You might put a piece of eggshell into his omelet that night in retaliation, and he might not even have the decency to react to it.
“...Johnny I can hear it crunching, oh my God would you spit it out!” You manage between laughter that’s got your face hurting.
That happens a lot around him. Smiling so much it hurts.
“Nah, i’s nice texture,” he says around the mouthful, then starts enunciating the longer words. “Very advanced technique. Shows a great awareness of the culinary experience–”
“You’re being such a prat. Why are you being such a prat!”
He talks over you as if he can’t hear you, as if he’s doing some mockingly posh review. “And honestly, the crunching–” he pauses and chomps down on the shell for effect, and how is it still intact, “it really engages the senses. Keeps me immersed in my dining experience.”
You regret loaning him your cooking books. Never again.
After that, though, he steals your knives, takes them home, and they come back so sharp you can cut windowpane slices of potato. He offers to teach you how to do it yourself–after stipulating with heart-clenching thoroughness that he’s happy to come over and do it for you any time.
Johnny gets weirdly into shopping farmer’s markets, walking around discovering new produce and varieties of things he’s never seen before. “Fuck would I know tomatoes come in this color? Look at this thing, it’s like a feckin’... it’s a wee lumpy sunset, isn’t it? And this! Like someone took the heart of a dragon,” his voice had gone terribly dramatic, and you definitely hadn’t covered your face, “and stuck it on a bush somewhere.”
“Baby how are you so huge, but so adorable?” You don't know when the pet names started, but you know he started them; sometimes it feels like you two grew up together.
You like the challenge of the new and unexpected ingredients that come from his trips, and by this point, he’s keeping your kitchen pretty stocked with whatever oddball pantry items you ask for, so you're set up to deal with almost anything. But on rare occasions he’ll call you with a question, too. You’ve had each other’s numbers for a while, it just made coordinating easier.
“Oi can you make sommat with uh… fiddlehead ferns?”
You always can, whatever he asks about. It just takes a quick internet search to find out if you can tackle it that same night, or if it needs to wait for another day. Sometimes it ends up disastrous, but like a shot, Johnny has you laughing or throwing something at him (usually-but-not-always also while laughing) before guilt or shame can get a proper foothold.
There was a night when he was too excited about something to wait for you to answer the door when he knocked, and since then, he just sort of comes in on his own after he announces himself—at least when you know to expect him. That feels right, too, just like having him at your counter had.
You’re feeding the both of you almost every night of the week by now, even if you’re still not cooking often. You like being around him so much, you can’t imagine doing it less, not even when cooking is the last thing you want to be doing. It’s like there’s a bubbly little sun in your chest when he’s around.
Johnny makes you so happy, in fact, and you’re so afraid of losing your time with him, it’s nearly six months before the first time you have to tap out of a dinner, too knackered to make yourself even casually presentable, nevermind cook so much as instant noodles.
He reacts like it’s no problem at all, which of course he’d do, because he’s wonderful, but you don’t manage to keep your heart from dropping that he’s not at least a little sad. That he doesn’t, maybe, look forward to the nights like you do. You know your arrangement is practical, and he’s never been over unless there was food involved, but… well… seeing him seems to have become rather… vital to you.
Which means it’s better to put it away, anyhow, right?
So when, an hour after you’d texted him and basically all he’d said was No problem, thinking takeout, any votes?, he’s coming through your front door with delivery bags and talking a mile a minute like it’s just another night, you're left with your mouth open and your hand on the knob, because… because he's here.
You're not cooking, but he's still here.
You just stand there gobsmacked as he sits on the couch, nattering away, half the food out before he even realizes you’re still playing doorstop. He asks if you’re having the time of your life or if you’re going to come sit down, those horrible (wonderful) crinkles at the sides of his eyes, brows pulled up in the middle.
He looks confused when you say you want to freshen up, like he can’t see that your hair might’ve lost a row with a feral rodent, or that you’re wearing clothes that shouldn’t even be outside of a bin, nevermind on a person. He just tells you the food will get cold, and that it’ll be no good that way.
So you run your hands through your hair and sit, subdued and uncertain like you haven’t been around him in ages, as he amiably fills the silence. You know he can tell you’re not right, but he’s just… acting like it’s ok that you aren’t.
Midway through the meal, he reaches forward to grab a container and put it in front of you, and it makes his knee come up against yours.
It doesn’t move away when he sits back.
Then, as the night wears on and the very most jagged edges of your weariness have eased, he makes a joke and you bump your shoulder into him in retaliation. It pushes your legs flush… and neither of you do anything to separate them. He just keeps on being Johnny like nothing is different, like nothing strange is happening, like he can’t see how bloody flushed you must be, like the room hasn't turned to glass and burst, leaving the both of you toppling through the air.
You're not stupid, so you have to tell yourself repeatedly that he’s just trying to comfort you. He’s acting completely normal otherwise—for Johnny—and you look like a person in need of a friend tonight. And same as him, you’re at all your meal nights instead of off with friends or dates. At least for him, it’s because of his career. You haven’t even seen him bringing up a new fling in ages.
…You’re not stupid. Right?
After the food is finished, Johnny putters about cleaning up, working his way around your kitchen like he knows it exactly as well as he does. He puts all but one container of leftovers in your fridge.
You hug your knees comfortably, just sort of watching him, too full of static to be paranoid about it, and he either doesn’t realize or isn’t bothered by it. Not being a complete creep, you don’t keep it up for too long, anyhow. You’ve got plenty to occupy your thoughts.
He surprises you on his way out by casually setting a mug in front of you. He’d made you something hot to drink while he was cleaning up, and you were so spaced you hadn’t realized. He just gives you a little smile, a gentle squeeze on the shoulder with a stroke of his thumb, says, “Wednesday, yeah?” (the night of your next normal get-together), and moves on toward the door. All normal. But there’s some metal in your chest painfully bending itself into unaccustomed shapes, jabbing places that aren’t used to the pressure, pushing into your windpipe until it’s hard to breathe, and you can’t stop yourself from telling him that you made up a new seasoning blend for popcorn, if he’d maybe like to watch a movie before he goes.
He stands there by the door looking at you just for a split second too long, opens his mouth, closes it, then settles right back onto the couch up next to you. He reaches out an arm and pulls you gently into his side, moving in a way that makes it an invitation and not a demand, while he’s talking about what to watch.
You fall asleep there. So does he.
Things turn a bit funny after that in a way you can’t quite put your finger on. At the surface, everything is the same. But nothing feels the same. Every time there’s a tease, casual touches, close quarters, you have to chant not stupid not stupid not stupid on repeat in your head. He’s just Johnny, that’s all. The guy you could have grown up with.
You keep up the dinners and the weekends, and eventually, finally realize that with him around to take all your extras, you can bake. It’s something you’ve wanted to try forever, but recipes don’t really make single servings, and you never had anyone to pawn off the other 22 muffins or ¾ of the cake onto, or the sheet of croissants, because you absolutely want to try the most fussy, difficult things. And it turns out, when at last he tells you what he does, that Johnny works at the local military base–which at least explains his size–so if he can’t polish something off, well, he knows some blokes.
You’re so excited after that, things almost seem to return to normal. He even comes over and hangs out while you’re baking sometimes. Just knocking about, licking the beaters and the spoons and the bowls, doing dishes as you go, fidgeting with this or that, all while knowing you’re equally as likely to produce something inedible as you are a treat.
Johnny tells you a little about his career one evening. He says that it means he’s in real danger often, there’s a lot of secrecy with people in his personal life, long absences and surprise ones, shit pay, and likely a brief expiration date. (You don’t really let that last one in). He’s got a bit of a funny look in his eyes when he shares about all of it. Quite focused on you, in a way? It makes your cheeks heat. It isn’t as if it’s on you to approve of his life.
But at least now you understand why he’s on his own. And you suppose you’re a bit small, because while you’re incredibly sad for him, part of you is thrilled that it means he’s not likely to be swept away by someone else too soon.
You just gather yourself up, smile, and tell him that at least he’s spending the time he has as best he can, which is a hell of a lot more than a lot of people do–although you personally hope there’s a lot more of it. And that… at the end, you're glad for all the times you're involved.
Johnny’s leaning against the counter while you fold nuts and rum-soaked fruit into a thick batter, his normally busy hands jammed into his pockets, posture a bit off, and so close you almost keep elbowing him on accident, the two of you just bantering back and forth.
You turn your head toward him to fire back, and–
–his mouth is just there, on yours.
He lingers, but doesn’t move otherwise. It’s… testing, you think. You feel his lips shake against yours, in fact, just once.
Your shock dies fast and your eyes slip closed, and while it’s a brief kiss, when he pulls away, you don’t open them. You can’t. Because if you’re honest, you’ve probably been gone for him since the first time you gave him a friendly hug goodnight, and it’s only ever gotten worse. If you open your eyes, this won’t be real, or it won’t have happened, or it will shatter somehow.
After a pause, he runs the back of a finger down your temple, trailing the side of your face to your jaw. You still won’t open your eyes, so he just toys with your face until you do.
He’s got a soul-crushing smile at the corners of his eyes.
“Been wanting to do that for a long time,” he admits into the quiet.
“...Oh?” Your voice is embarrassingly, unhelpfully breathy. It’d probably be mortifying, if you had the mental capacity to fully register embarrassment at the moment.
He pauses, smile making its way to his lips, and curling them up at the corners, bit by bit. He cants his head, just a little, like he wants to see you from another angle. “Aye. …Might’ve been since the first time I saw you at the mailboxes.”
“Oh?”
That had been one of the first times you remember ever seeing him. He never said a word to you other than, “Mornin’” or “Evenin’,” if he said anything at all.
His smile blooms until you can see his teeth. “You were wearing this little shirt. Green, thin. Bit worn, like it was a favorite. Showed a wee spot of skin at your back.” His fingers brush the spot, soft and testing, near the base of your spine, and it jolts you from scalp to toes. “Might’ve… lost some time, thinking about what it’d feel like if I slid my hand up there.” He toys with the hem of your shirt and steps in, voice going deeper and rougher around the edges. “Might’ve imagined pushing it up, getting a bit closer. Really might’ve imagined putting your back up to the slots, mo–”
You kiss him this time, before he can go on, and it’s anything but testing.
And just like everything else about him, this fits.
His mouth fits against yours. His body fits against yours. And as if some band of control snaps, so abruptly you swear you feel it jolt through his skin, he's got you up on the counter, his thighs between yours, both of you already breathing hard.
His hands on you are perfect, calloused, slipping up under the back of your shirt, smoothing and gripping, making your chest and your thighs feel molten. It's ravenous, like he just has to touch your skin, has to get you closer. You arch toward him, fingers running up through his hair, legs curling around his and pulling him nearer.
His hips are carefully, stubbornly, infuriatingly back from you, but the kiss is so full of need, so close, that some of his breaths sound hollow against your mouth. It's like he can't decide whether inhaling or devouring you is more important, so he just doesn't choose.
When you're at the point of moaning unintentionally, of hungry little sounds forcing their way out of your chest, of your hips moving against the counter in desperation, when you're moments from outright begging, Johnny pulls back, and goes further when you try to chase his mouth.
His lips are red and full, his face dark--much worse when he catches sight of how completely drunk you must look--and he's panting. His fingers dig into your hips like he's trying to keep one or both of you from drowning. He squeezes his eyes shut.
You don't mean to, you really don't, but you look down, and lord help you but–
“That looks painful,” you tell him. Your voice sounds like it's been run over a washboard. He's tented against his denim, and his size is… proportional.
…You can't seem to remember how to make yourself look up.
“Really rather not talk about my cock just now, love,” he gravels, fingers clenching briefly against you. His head tips forward onto your shoulder, breaths panting out against your collar bone, leaving you to pick up every bit of heat he's trying to get out of himself.
You hum, teasing. “Shame, because I can't think of anything I'd rather talk ab—”
His big paw covers your mouth. “For the love of every Saint, I’m beggi—”
You cut him off right back. By licking his palm.
He recoils in horror, but the moment your eyes meet, you both burst into laughter, made worse every time he tries to tell you how disgusting that is, something about his sisters as kids, you don't know what else.
You're the first to sober, breathing almost back to normal, thoughts already whirring on fast-forward. You look down, pulling your knees together, hands gripping the edge of the counter. “Are we…. Will we be ok, after this?”
You peek up to see him looking at you like you're daft.
“‘S been the better part of a year,” he says softly, moving forward and running his thumbs over your knees. Asking your legs to make room again, to let him get close again. “Have you really not figured it out, all this time?”
Your legs open hesitantly, and he steps in and, when you look up at him, kisses one corner of your mouth, then the other, slow and warm and so tender it feels like your chest is cracking right down the center.
Eyes closed, brows a little pinched, you murmur, “We can't all be SAS savants, Johnny.” Maybe you know. Maybe. But it has been all this time, so maybe you need to hear it, too.
He's still kissing, pace unhurried and savouring, making his way to your jaw and just beneath it. But it's calming now, somewhere between reverential and still trying to bring the both of you down. Himself especially, you think.
“Then let me spell it out for you. Gladly.” He noses up against the bottom of your ear and roughs, “You are fucking stuck with me. Glued. Bloody welded.” He huffs a laugh and leans back upright—but not all the way, not too far back. “This isnae a new thing for me. You know that, right? I just….” He shakes his head and abandons the thought, “Hell, my mates have already been asking when they can come over for dinner, the dobbers.”
Your brows shoot up. “You've talked about me at work?”
He looks down, and while his face is in half a scowl, you'd swear he does it to hide a slight flush, too. “Haven't shut up about you, more like. Should hear what my Lieutenant– Ach, nevermind that.”
You hurry to say that they're welcome any time, but it makes him scowl fully.
“Not exactly keen on the idea just yet.” He puts his arms around you, buries his face in your neck, and just stands there, breathing you in. He mutters into the crook of your shoulder, “Mind if I stay like this for a bit? Just while I, uh… calm down.”
His hips are still well back from you. You’re not sure you’ve ever adored and hated him so much at once.
“I’d really like that,” you tell him softly, arms going around his ribs, hands on his shoulders, chest to chest.
It's warm and resounding like this, so after a spell, without thinking, you bite his shoulder. Just sink your teeth in and leave them there. It’s not even entirely conscious, it's just so comfortable and comforting.
“All good, there, wee piranha?” he eventually asks, a smile in his voice.
You detach instantly. “Ah, sorry! I, uh, might have a tiny bit of an oral fixation.”
He groans. “Are ye trying to do me in?”
“I’m not the one who said we had to stop, Mr. Military Discipline.”
His eyes darken in a flash, but he tamps down on it just as quickly and gets that godawful cocky look on his face, instead. “Pardon me for not wanting to rush something that really matters.” His tone goes so soft at the end that you can’t even be mad at him--exactly as you know he intended, the great bastard.
“How did I not know what a sadist you are?”
And that look means he’s about to make you eat your words.
“Johnny I will happily kill you in your sleep.”
“I could handle that. Means you'd be in my bed, aye?”
He pulls your hands up from the death grip they've found on the edge of the counter and laces your fingers together. “I dinnae….” He clears his throat, frowns. “Just being away on deployment is shite now, and I love what I do. But I miss you while I'm gone, think about you back here all the bloody time, and we havnae even….”
When he doesn’t finish, you whisper, heart clenching with the realization, “You don't want to rush this.”
He laughs quietly like he wants to argue. But what he says is, “No. I don't. But while that's true….” He steps in, chin ducking, eyes darkening even as they shine, voice lowering. “What do you say we turn the oven off? I've a funny feeling you willnae be getting around to that bake today.”
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#johnny soap mactavish#cod soap#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soap x reader#johnny mactavish#slow burn#friends to lovers#060#meet cute#comfort fic#demisexual#fluff#johnny x reader#cod
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