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goldensstateofgrace · 4 years ago

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Dream Of How You (Tasted) - Chapter One -

(So... my first Series!!! I’ll be working on this a lot, and i want you to know it’s not gonna be perfect because I’m not perfect and my writings definitely not perfect, so bare with me on this journey please!! Who’s ready for some Camgirl!y/n??)

A story about Y/N becoming a camgirl because she needs the money but also because she gets off on the praise she gets from total strangers. She enjoys helping other’s get off while doing so herself. When talk about a one on one session with a guy who always watches her streams becomes reality, what happens when she finds out it was her crush/best friend all along?

I hope you guys are excited!! bc I know I am!! Hope you enjoy, happy reading!!

(Also, i picture Harry as long haired harry, but you can picture him however you’d like!!!)

Word count: 1.7k (4 pages) (i promise the other chapters will be longer!)

Y/n didn’t know college could be so expensive, her job at the coffee shop on campus just wasn’t cutting it anymore. She needed to find something else to help pay for school and her rent.

She’s in her second year of uni, all the book costs and the rent for having an apartment so close to campus is outrageous. She tried to find a second job to help with the money problem she was currently having, but couldn't find anything that could work around her classes and coffee shop schedule.

Her best friend, Harry, tried to get her a job alongside him at his job, but again the schedule didn’t work for her and they couldn’t change it. So now, she's stuck trying to find something to do so close when she needs to pay her rent.

It was outrageous how much the rent was for a one bedroom apartment close to campus, it’s a thousand - some dollars a month just to be close to campus, but that’s including her light and water bill so she can’t complain too much.

Harry had offered to let her move in with him to cut down the cost, so she could save some money for school. But she declined because her boyfriend at the time didn’t feel comfortable with it, only to find out on their one year anniversary that he had been cheating on her for a while. Asshole.

Nothing has been said since, but she wished he would. Moving out of her apartment would help so much, but she didn’t want to ask.

Lost in her thoughts she didn’t even notice Harry walking beside her, as she walked across the courtyard to class.

“Why so glum” he nudged her in the side with his elbow, startling her out of her thoughts. She slaps in on the arm, chuckling, “Harry! Don’t do that!”

“You didn’t answer the question, What’s wrong? And don’t give me the ‘Nothing im fine!’ thing you do,” he says, mimicking a higher pitched girly voice, chuckling once he was done.

“Heyy! I don’t sound like that you twat!” you backhand his abdomen making him rub his stomach area as he grimaces in slight pain.

“But” she starts, “i’ve just been struggling again, i tried looking for a job but, just like last time the schedule didn’t line up with any of my classes or with when i was working at the coffee shop.” she says, huffing in annoyance.

Harry nods his head as she talks, listening to her, wishing he could help in some way. He tried before, but she turned him down, she didn’t even tell him why. He figured it had something to do with that cheating ex of hers.

“Y/n, if you need help, all you have to do is ask. I’ll always be her to help you in any way I can,” he tells her, his eyes flickering over her face, showing nothing but seriousness, a drastic change from his happy light hearted self he was just a few minutes ago.

She casts her eyes away from him, focusing her eyes on the pavement under her feet as she walks. She doesn’t say anything for a while, but eventually she looks up at him, tears filling her eyes.

“I know” she nods, “Thank you, Harry. You don’t have to, but thank you,” she says, the tears in her eyes threatening to spill down her cheek but they don’t get the chance as she wipes them away before they do.

Harry wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side and placing a kiss to her head, “I may not have to, but i want to.” he mumbles into the top of her head.

Her arm wraps around his middle as they continue to walk to their second class of that morning, “Thank you.”

--------------

“You know what you should do?” Harry's friend Niall says as y/n, Harry, Niall and y/n’s friend Amy sit around a table in the coffee shop having lunch. Y/n quirks her eyebrow up as she takes a bite of her turkey sandwich, motioning him to go on.

Y/n had just got finished telling them about how she was in search of another job, and about how she needed the money to pay rent soon.

“You should do only fans, or p*** h**, they make lots of money and that way you get something out of it other than stress and tiredness.” he says, making her almost choke on her sandwich.

“W-what!” y/n says just as Harry says “Dude! No!”

“What’s the big deal? Lots of people do it, and you don’t even have to show your face. You could even go by a different name!” Niall reasons.

Y/n was shocked by his suggestion, but she wouldn’t lie and say she was put off by the idea. Nobody would know it was her, and he did have a point about her not having to go by her own name.

She couldn’t believe she was actually considering this but, you have to do what you have to do.

“yeah uh” she clears her throat, “good suggestion Ni, but i think i’ll just stick with trying to find a job near campus” she says, chuckling as she takes another bite of her sandwich.

“eh, it was worth a shot,” he laughs, before the conversation steers to assignments everyone had to get done and ones they’ve already done.

After they all finish eating they sit around talking for a little bit before Y/n and Harry had to head for their last class of the day.

As they walk to class, Harry’s arm that’s thrown over y/n’s pulls her into his side, “You know Niall was coming from a good place, right. He didn’t mean to offend you or anything,” he says, making you look up at him with your brows furrowed in confusion.

“yeah , i know. I didn’t take any offence to it, but…” she trailed off, “What?” harry asks, motioning for her to continue as they walk past a group of people blocking the sidewalk.

“Would it be so bad? I mean he had a point about me not having to show my face or use my actual name” she said, her eyes flicking over his face for some kind of clue into what he thought of it all.

Harry doesn’t say anything for a while, it’s just as they were about to walk into their class that he pulled her to the side and let their other classmates go in first, “I don’t have a problem with it, it’s your body, you have the right to do whatever you want with it. If you decide that that’s what you want to do to make the money you need i’ll support you 100%, if not i’ll still support you, no matter what,” He tells her, looking into her eyes with nothing but seriousness splayed across his face.

Y/n nods, standing up on her tiptoes and reaching her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, “Thank you, Harry. I honestly don’t know what i’d do without you!” she mumbles into his neck as his arms wrap around her waist pulling her impossibly closer to his chest.

“I don’t either honestly” he laughs, pulling away from her with a huge contagious smile across his face, only making her laugh and smile too.

“Come on, let's go to class,” he said, throwing his arm back around her shoulder and leading her through the classroom doors.

----------------

It was later that night, y/n couldn’t sleep. Her thoughts running wild with what could happen if she did decide to become a camgirl, or whatever it was called these days.

She was laying in bed, trying to find out more about what comes with being a camgirl, what she needed to do and what other people were looking to watch.

She had found a girl, her page consisting of videos showing off her curves and sexy lingerie, along with videos of her using toys on herself. All of the videos have over thousands of views, y/n decided that she would message the women who went by ‘daddiespet20’.

Rewrote her message so many times she lost count before she finally found what she wanted to ask and sent the message,“Hey! I’m y/n, i was wondering if you could maybe help me, i’ve been looking into getting into only fans. Could you maybe help me with some questions I have?”

She waited a while for a reply back, along with going down a tiktok rabbit hole, laughing at the stupid tiktoks Harry posted the other day. Her phone finally pinged with a notification, she quickly pulled the notification bar down to see it was a reply from the women she had messaged, “Daddiespet20: Hi! Yes ofc, ask away.”

She honestly wasn’t expecting to get a reply back, thinking the women must have thousands of people messaging her all day every day.

Y/n quickly wrote out a message of the main questions she wanted answered, “Thank you sm! It’s only a few questions, 1: does the amount you get paid rely on the amount of views you get on each of your videos?, 2: how did you gain your audience, and keep them interested in what you were putting out?, 3: Do you have any tips on where to start (seeing as I'm new to all of this)?”

The woman answers all of y/n’s questions with no problem, along with telling her some tips on how to get started and how to gain followers. The conversion ends after messaging back and forth for almost an hour, y/n’s walking away with all the information she was looking for plus more.

Talking to her really helped y/n come to the decision that this is what she was going to do, she was going to make videos of her showing off her body and pleasuring herself. Never in a million years did she think she would come to this just so she could keep a roof over her head and stay in school.

Now all she had to do was buy some sexy lingerie and some toys, well more toys. What? She’s not a prude!

It was getting late so she decided she would go to bed and figure everything out tomorrow, along with ordering her underwear and the toys online. She definitely didn’t need anyone from school seeing her by that stuff. God, she could just imagine the embarrassment she would feel if that happened.

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Feed back is highly appreciated!! Hope you enjoyed 🥺🥰

#harry styles x y/n #harrystylessmut #harryfic #harrystylesfic #harry styles imagine #harrystyles #harry styles x reader #camgirl!y/n

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whenfatecollides · 4 years ago

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Hi ! I've been getting into Dreamcatcher lately since everyone's been saying if you're a lesbian you're gonna like dreamcatcher, and i do ! i was just wondering from someone who obvs knows them better, do you think they're naturally so close to each other or it could be a bit more... fan service stuff bc I'm always worried about getting into groups who just queerbait all the time, idk how to say this and im not trying to attack DC but there's been a lot of talk abt it in kpop lately

I get where you’re coming from, but with time you’ll see that they’re genuinely close

dc have gone through a lot as a group (some of the members have been together for abt 8/9 years now), specially the ex-minx members (jiu, sua, siyeon, yoohyeon, dami) who had to overcome an unsuccessful debut and decide to stick together despite a rough start. there’s a lot in the member’s own story that makes you wonder if there really isn’t a force in the world out there who brought them together because so much happened, to some members more than others, that literally put them right on the path to become a dreamcatcher member. it just had to be the seven of them.

for starters, yoohyeon auditioned for a few companies and mbk accepted her. she went the first day and quit that same day because of how she was treated by the staff. she said that from that experience she wanted to quit on the idea of becoming an idol, but she really loved to dance and sing. which led her to meet sua at a dance competition before they auditioned for hfe. sua had been training to become an idol since 2012 and hfe was the one company who accepted her (I can’t imagine sleeping on that much talent). this led them to debut together and even become roomates.

siyeon had a close songwriter friend who introduced her to the company, she auditioned and got in. similarly, jiu’s vocal teacher referred her to the company, she auditioned and got in as well. as for dami she had wanted to become an idol since elementary school, one day she participated in an open audition at her school and hfe called her for an audition.

with gahyeon, she actually went through a few companies before landing on hfe. she was an fnc traineed for a while, she got in both yg and sm, but left since they weren’t going to debut a group any time soon. similar to dami she participated in an open audition at her school and she got called for an audition.

and handong had some interest in kpop when she was in high school, but when she got the chance to go to korea for university her dad made her promise she wouldn’t try to become an idol, it was literally The condition for her to go to korea, she wasn’t meant to audition according to her parents will. but one of her uni teachers told her about hfe’s audition and she just went for it anyway asdkjhs (her relationship with her parents is fine now). it was just meant to be.

they’ve also mentioned quite a few times that they didn’t just instantly click with each other like that (some members having a cold impression of sua at first, siyeon admitting it took her quite some time to get close with handong, jiu saying she was skeptical about the adittion of handong and gahyeon but soon realised they made the group stronger), they worked on their relationship over time and they wanted to make things work with each other which itself is really important and shows the kind of loving and supportive enviroment they wanted to build for each other (I go a little bit more in depth about their overall story in this post). they’ve made sure to build a really great sense of teamwork with each other since the beginning, from the fact that they had about 2/3 months to prepare for dc’s debut (minx still performed on october 2016 and dc debuted january 2017) alone, they really had to make a conscious choice about it all. honestly one of the things that makes me sure that dc are close is that they don’t hide the negative feelings they sometimes have towards each other (which are normal), they've spoken a few times about silly things that they’ve argued about and have even mentioned that they don’t get the other members involved in the quarrels they’re having with another member to not create more drama than necessary. but you can really see that they love and take of each other in the little things too, not just the (sometimes) fanservice. and by this I mean things like, sua calling handong in the middle of her vlive to go get food for her, dami letting yoohyeon sleep in her bed and going to the living room because she didn’t want to wake her up, siyeon falling asleep on top of yoohyeon and yoohyeon not having the heart to wake her up as well, among many many many things.

but truly they’ve gone through a lot of hardships over the years, including having a member be away and unable to participate in comebacks and group schedules for a whole year (not because of health issues or anything like that, but because of the covid situation that made it impossible for her to fly back to korea), and they got out of that situation being even more appreciative of that member when it could’ve easily been something that could have made them turn on each other. it was a situation that brought them even closer and appreciative of one another. they really want to be on this path together.

as for the queerbaiting bit, I’ve made posts about this before and as I’ve said, it doesn’t matter whether or not it’s fanservice because at the end of the day they’re respectful and caring, and they’re only normalising same sex attraction. they never make you feel gross for that attraction either, they’ve never pulled a ‘no home though’ moment, they continuously sing songs directed at female lovers without changing the pronouns, continuously accept marriage proposals from their female fans, and even when a fan was dubious and said “but we’re two girls” jiu said that it didn’t matter and that love is love, and they’ve said many times that it’s okay for female fans to be nervous around them (aka attracted to them).

and not that it’s anyone’s business but the members themselves have dropped many hints over the years, from not specifying the gender of their ideal type

“Dreamcatcher Handong, “even if they’re not good-looking, a warm-hearted person is my ideal type.” “My idea type, erm... a warm-hearted person. A person not necessarily need to be good-looking, if they’re warm-hearted they’re a good person” ©

Handong: For me, firstly, kind. It would be great if the person has a good personality and is tall.

Gahyeon: For me, because I’m still young I don’t have a definite ideal type. Just someone who smiles prettily and is fun. Ah, if the person has a good voice, it will be good. I like to talk on the phone. ©

Jiu: I wish to have someone I can chat non-stop with, and who is also knowledgable and has a good character. I’ve never really thought about an ideal date, but what’s most important is that the atmosphere has to be comfortable!

Yoohyeon: My ideal type is someone who’s like Peter Pan, someone fun-loving and positive! My ideal date location would be Paris, France. It’s a really romantic city! Really look forward to spending time there with the one I love.

Gahyeon: I like someone with a beautiful smile, and someone who can really take care of me. ©

to lowkey admitting a same sex crush (she went to an all girls school as far as we know)

to being uh very straightforward about it

among other things 🐒 I’ve been into kpop for quite a lot of years now and I never experienced a group make this as comfortable as they do honestly. that’s why I say that it doesn’t matter if it is just fanservice, they’re still changing things for the better. but that being said, take your time getting to know them~ I think it’s better that you see it for yourself rather than have someone tell you really

#sorry this turned out super long 💀#i have a lot to say when it comes to dc asdkjsadkjhsd #ask

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aphrorite · 3 years ago

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-ˏˋ sweetheart diaries ˊˎ- #3 !! 🌸💗🍥

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ♡༘

⋆ ✧₊ﾟmay 14th 2022 🍧🌺🦩 ⊹ɞ

yawwwwn. hi diary! its 1 am but im writing bebauc i feel liek it ! 💤 🌥

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

today wa s a good day, you known? i id idnt do much bt ,, i neeed ed this saturyda so then tmr i can go wam ham on my homeworks. it wwass soooooo sunny nand iw anted to go for a walk twic but onyl got chanc to go for 1, and i wore a super duper pretty polka dot black dress and i had matchin black polka dot flip flops to go w it ! i wore a stra w hat too when iw ent outside cos ir was so hot out. i felt pretty and also very comfy. i woek eup around 10 as well so im happy baout that because usually i wake up late later hehe. 😝

SEEEE !!! dress n flip flop magch tehehe. this phtoo taken on my walk! 🩰🌟✨

i ha d last night nugget for breakfast n then i had some OJ! ir emember seienf a post tht had “drink som milk or OJ” and usually aft i et breakfas id hav like agua so OJ was new <3

i had a bit of a moment whehr iw d trying to flshh the toluet n then THE FLOORW ENT 💥BOBOB 💥MBO💥 BBOON 💥 BOOOM 💥 n lke rumbled ))): i call my sister hpstair and she tell me to ring mom so then mam say 2 t ur n the water off on it bc mybe she didnt turn it all the way n then it wasnt rumble no more . this cos we got a new toilet n also hav plumbing leak problem , house old !

i made som goodnote schedule for msyelf instead of using google spreadhddeg so this eman that i cna get more productiv again ! i havent done so in 3 months so i thin ktnis is my turning point , yeah, go me ! *imaginary pat*

i spen t some tiw w my ssiter playin project sekai , sims 4 (i revamp her chars, ) walk w my siste routside n found a pretty pink flower , my cat just giving him cuddles n lettinghim enjoy the f reshh air, browose shopping for a teensy bit, listneed to blackspeakz on youtube, made a regressing plylsit, and msootly chilled !

i also played alittleeee bit of roblox and made some softlien clothing ! im proud of msyelf because yesterday my crwiagons werent up to par. i wantned to hangout w my one acquaintance but he wasnt online , so thts ok ! here is what i buot in sims 4 when my ssuter let me use computer when she went sleep,

my othwr cfriend msged me this morning on dizzy n it made merlly happy cos he acc show up in my dream last night )): n it wa sa happy dream , so then for him to send me a dm saying “wakey wakey!” n i see it in the morning , i feel is coincidence ! 😵😮😮

i also feel like agedre n half regressing has helped talk to myself more positively. its very difficult to talk to myself like a friend so when i talk to myself like an encouraging sweet parent, it works. im more softer and i embrace my sensitivity, and i think this in all will help me ! of course i still feel the shame of it not being the norm or still have my negative intrusive thoughts, and i know my intrusive thoughts arent something i can necessarily 'delete' or 'remove,' and are something to tame, though i think agedre is a big baby step towards a healthy coping mechanism, as even so back then my self-talk has never been very positive, and even when i was positive, id beat myself down constantly (and still struggle with this), and that positivity would lean towards toxic. im proud of myself. <3

anyway, i did lot selfcare and followd my goodnote scheduule , and tmr i make to do list for homeworks. tmr i shoul make foods, b productiv, and sleep on time !!!! hav good day diary, muwah muwah 💕

p.s it also rained today ! 🌧🌧🌧

╭┈─────── urs truly, ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈➤ sweetheart xx

#aphrorite.diary #🌸#sfw agere blog #sfw agere

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kvgehiras · 3 years ago

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waaaa i'm sure whatever you have typed up is great!! if you ever decide to post it, i'll look forward to it ♡

cough cough SO UM,,, ik this is oddly specific but i hope you don't mind aha .. a character of your choice with someone who has some important exams coming up soon, maybe?? i've like ... procrastinated like all of my work and slept through the entire few weeks before,, so i'm currently on the brink of eternal sleep (my fault, wholly, really) i don't mind who, just pick your favourite/s!!

thank you in advance!! qwq

hello again anon!! THANK U AAAA i might post it after the current event ends bcs im busy grinding lately lol but i will post it soon so i hope u like it ehe ;; as for ur schedule PLS SLEEP !!!! i do know the feeling off not doing any of ur work nd just resting but sometimes it's ok anon! studying when ur not feeling like it will only feel like a chore nd u probably wont be able to retain any of it. so study when u want to, bcs while exams r important, so r u hehe <3 anyways here r the charas!! wrote a lil scenario for mika, leo, nd rei!! hope u like it <3

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

KAGEHIRA MIKA

• mika overworks himself alot, mainly bcs he just wants to prove, to himself and others, that he is worthy of being a part of valkyrie

• but he still likes being a lil spoon when yall r cuddling (o˘◡˘o)

• while he is a powerful artist when hes on stage, he just melts when hes in ur arms yk!!!!

• so he doesnt mind it when lately u seem to be slacking off a bit more than usual bcs he gets more cuddles from u !!!!! #mika1stwin

• but when u suddenly stop out of nowhere nd even refuse to come out of ur room at times bcs uve procrastinated ur work too much nd if u do not finish going through ur material then ur doomed to fail nd oh lord-

• "(y/n)?"

• u look up at ur bf nd hes standing beside u- w his stuff in his hands.....?

• "ah ya see.....ya've been lookin' a lil stressed lately so i thought abt.....helpin' u like this! idk what is troublin' ya, but im here to always listen! :D"

• u break into a grin, one mika had missed so much, nd grab his cheeks to plant a kiss on his cheek

• nd still keeping ur hands where they are, u pull away to look at his bright red face

• "thank u mika... ill always be here for u too, ok?"

• nd he quickly nods, scared to meet ur eyes, esp bcs of the close proximity of ur faces rn

• what a lil baby

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

TSUKINAGA LEO

• leo is honestly the last person u want to see when ur trying to finish learning ur material,,,that too in a rush

• like!!!!! u love him u rlly do but this bitch will start doodling abt his inspiration nd all nd ur brain just cant focus yk

• that, nd also that if u dont give him Any attention At All he will literally wither away nd basically refuse to sleep nd WILL stare at u till u give him kissies (nd he alrdy doesnt sleep enough........ sigh)

• so when he wakes up in the middle of the night (the one night u managed to somehow get him to bed) nd doesnt see u in the room a part of him panics

• he quickly calls out for u nd when he hears u respond from the study room, he opens the door to see u slowly turn around from ur chair, tired, shoulders slumped over

• immediately rushing over, leo tightly wraps u in a hug, a hand running through ur hair

• "(Y/N)!!!!!!!!! WHERE WERE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THE ALIENS KIDNAPPED U!!!!?!!???!!!!!!! DONT LEAVE ME AGAINNNNNN ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

• "leo it's 2 am.......nd also i didn't leave u, u know? im right here!"

• the exhaustion was very evident in ur voice, so much so that leo pulled away only to squint his eyes at u nd go "r u not ok? u sound tired ...... gasp r u DYING????????? NOOOOO U CANT DIE UR MY INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!"

• "leo thats v sweet nd while yes i Am dying im not leaving u it's ok"

• leo smiles, which turns into a grin, nd then he suddenly gasps again nd oh lord what idea is it this time

• "(y/n)!!!!! how abt i sleep here????????"

• ".....huh?"

• "YEA!!!!!! didn't u leave that room so u wouldn't disturb me?????? but im lonely so......ill just sleep on ur lap then, ok? ok! good nightttt!!!!!!!!"

• nd then he places his head on ur lap, the other half on his body relying on the chair he was previously sitting on for support

• while he isnt wrong abt the disturbance part.....he does look content here.......nd he does feel lonely so ......

• mayb u just gotta learn today what u can wing everything at this point...... it's gonna be ok . probably....?

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

SAKUMA REI

• unlike the other two, rei wouldn't even have to guess that ur not doing ok, he would just Know

• nd what does he do to help? flirt w u nd get u to let him teach u obv!

• he Knows it's not rlly teaching, nd so do u, but what can u do when he looks at u w those puppy eyes of his, nd says that he'll do anything nd everything in his power to always help u

• so when he does take in whatever u have to study he..... he realises he's Also bad at this

• good job rei rlly helps out a ton!

• anyways to make up for it, nd also stick w his promise to help u, he tells u to go through the material, nd explain it to him! he heard somewhere that it works bcs it forces u to rlly understand the concept instead of memorising it nd u think it should work

• but oh god how is it supposed to work when rei keeps looking at u w stars in his eyes, nd his hand suddenly grabs urs nd he circles his thumb on the back of ur hand nd IS HE FLIRTING IN THE MIDDLE OF A STUDY SESSION

• rei playfully quirks an eyebrow when he sees u get flustered nd just . lay ur head on the table w sigh nd just whine

• "REIIIIIIIII I HAVE TO STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

• he chuckles bcs he does realise what hes doing to u nd honestly he loves ur reactions so he keeps doing it

• "fufufu.....sorry love, i'll be quiet now. go on, do ur thing." (liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur too flirty for a study session!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

• tip : never keep him in the same room as u when u have work to do . keeps flirting . too much distraction .

• ratings : 200/10 . the additional 200 points is bcs hes too cute to say no....... god he rlly has u wrapped around his finger huh

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muwur · 4 years ago

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long distance headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for daichi, suga, hinata & tsukki

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.5k words

a/n: hello yall this is my first post! nobody asked, but i just started this haikyuu reader insert blog, feel free to check my page n see wazzap. also requests are open pls come fhorfjepfiwf;

daichi

✧ after high school, he stayed in miyagi while you went to tokyo, about 5 hours away, for college

✧ texting or calling whenever u can!

✧ you be like “heyyy”

✧ then he clap back with a “go focus on your lecture”

✧ “im not in lectureee”

✧ “you gave me your schedule so i know you’re in the middle of class”

✧ “...”

✧ makes sure you’re awake on time for your classes and calls you if he thinks you’re oversleeping (and hes usually right, this man just KNOWS)

✧ “morning y/n, i think you need to get to class soon”

✧ “mmrghhhghhh” *checks time* “holy sHI-- i forgot to set my alarm. IMMA BE LATE. THANKS DAICHI I LOVE YOU ILL TALK TO YOU LATER BYE”

✧ definitely skips out on some nights out with his friends to video chat you. you catch up, talk about future plans, reminisce, complain about not being able to hug one another, etc. occasionally one of you falls asleep on call, particularly after a long day or week. if he sleeps, you make sure you screenshot his sleeping face and start a picture collection

✧ you hit him up when you get drunk lMAO

✧ “daiichiii, i miss youuu, i needdd youuuu AND i needa peeee---” “hey daichi, this is y/n’s friend. y/n’s pretty out of it now but they’ll be okay! we’re heading back to our place right now” “im gonna pEE IN THIS CAR”

✧ daichi coordinates with your friends to make sure you arrive home safely, use the bathroom, and get tucked into bed. he thanks the universe you have good friends. if it weren’t for them he’d probs have a heart attacc. sends you cute, reassuring voice messages for you to wake up to the next morning with hangover tips he learned from suga

✧ always checks in with you throughout the day, every day. able to pick up on the slightest hints if you’re feeling unwell and calls you immediately to try to make you feel better

✧ makes plans to visit you! you get really excited to introduce him to your college friends (who, after meeting him, tell you not only is he a hottie but is such a kind guy, fosho a keeper. they also ask if he has any cute friends)

✧ either holding your hand or has an arm around you most of the time.

✧ you spend all day together outside and wandering the city, then spend the night back at your place (sorry roommate, but we’re gonna have to kick you out for a lil bit--)

sugawara

✧ you finally secured a job! unfortunately, the company required you to work for a year at their main facility, which was a 4 hour drive away from miyagi

✧ if suga wasn’t needed in miyagi for his teaching job, he would’ve tried to come with you

✧ after unloading your things in your new apartment and before parting ways, suga was like

✧ “everything’s unloaded everything from the car?”

✧ “yes maam”

✧ “do you have enough snacks?”

✧ “we just went to the grocery hun”

✧ “did you bring enough underwear?”

✧ “gDI yEs I dID”

✧ “:c promise to call me often”

✧ “<3333 of course”</p>

✧ good morning texts before y’all leave for work! you send each other cute pictures when you’re getting ready for the day (suga with bedhead, brushing his teeth? suga with his tie half done?? sign me up)

✧ always texts you when something reminds him of you, usually sends a picture along with it

✧ “the store was having a special on oranges today! this one reminds me of you”

✧ “why”

✧ “it just looks so cute~”

✧ will immediately call you if you send him any sort of message that worries him

-“hello? y/n what’s wrong, why is there blood?? speak to me, you haven’t replied in 5 minutes”

✧ “ohhh my bad, i’m just cleaning up don’t worry! i didn’t explain, but the picture i sent you isn’t blood, it’s ketchup i spilled on myself lolol”

✧ poor man nearly fainted from worry

✧ would pay you a surprise visit, making sure to plan it carefully so he knew you weren’t busy with work or plans. brings you gifts of your favorite snacks and a scarf that matches one of his own for the upcoming winter

✧ plans out that weekend for y’all, mans did his research beforehand. together, you toured the city and the surrounding nature, took lots of selfies (and many candids of you), and taste tested lots of foods before returning to your apartment and collapsing into your bed with exhaustion

✧ but y’all not too tired for cuddling n a lil something else >.>

hinata

✧ sure, being a couple hours away was hard for some... but y’all in different countries right now

✧ calls you immediately when there’s any inconvenience that occurs in his life, no matter how minor, thinking you’ll know how to fix it (or at least give him the reassurance he needs)

✧ “hey y/n...”

✧ “what’s wrong? you sound worried”

✧ “i broke my bike, what do i do”

✧ “you what? are you alright?? how? where are you? it’s midnight there, honey”

✧ “i was biking back to my apartment after staying late to practice! i didn’t wanna hit this turtle, so i swerved into a pole and now my bike’s wrecked :**”

✧ “ahh, are you okay?? you’re not hurt are you :(”

✧ “no, im okay... but im tired and i have two miles to go ;(((”

✧ “;( im sorry babe but you gotta walk home. we’ll get you a new bike. ill stay on the phone with you until you get back. tell me about your day <3″</p>

✧ talks about you all the time to his friends! introduces you through video chat to them! “look how pretty and cute y/n is!”

✧ together you work out your time differences and busy schedules so you can chat whenever possible

✧ he lets you know whenever he bought something for you, but never shows it to you because he’s excited to see your reaction in person when you reunite

✧ always asks you to send him pictures of yourself, he wants to see what you look like everyday he’s missing you in real life

✧ you surprise visit HIM. he’s so happy he could cry. shows you around every place he loves, shows you off to everyone he knows, holds your hand the entire time and never wants to let go, is practically glued to you not that you mind

✧ you spend your last night together lying in the grass, hand in hand, looking at the stars and sharing sweet kisses

tsukishima

✧ y’all went to separate universities. while he stayed relatively close to miyagi, you went across the country to okinawa, which was about a 3 hour flight away

✧ he sees all the couples around campus n becomes lowkey bitter, texts you immediately about gross pda like hand holding that he secretly wishes he could do with you “these people in relationships are too happy, i didn’t ask to see them gawk at each other all day” “u just miss me lmao”

✧ once overheard a convo on a shuttle at school that went like :

✧ person 1: “ugh, he’s so cute”

✧ person 2: “why dont you go out with him??”

✧ person 1: “i dunno, his dorm’s down the street, i can’t really do long distance”

✧ nANI (by the way, this is a irl conversation my friend overheard, oml)

✧ tsukki nearly choked on his morning coffee

✧ bothers texts you in class bc he’s bored and in need of your attention

✧ “hey tsukki this prof’s lectures are rlly dense, i needa focus, ill text u after”

✧ “but arent i more interesting than rocks”

✧ “trust me, id even rather watch some dino documentaries with you than be here”

✧ *read*

✧ likes to chat with you most nights as he lies in bed before going to sleep, staring up at the dark ceiling and listening to your voice through his headphones. usually just talking about how your days went (as if you weren’t texting all day) or just casual talk and banter

✧ you remind him to make sure he’s taking care of himself and eating well

✧ “who are you? my mother?”

✧ “no but you’re about to be single”

✧ surprise visits you, tells you it was yamaguchi’s idea when it was really his own and yamaguchi was just teasing him about it

✧ you show him around the city, sharing what you know about its rich history and culture. you visit most areas you both wanted to see before calling it a day

✧ your roommate conveniently spends that night over at their friend’s they just wanna give you alone time, which y’all very much needed. you make it a note to repay your roommate somehow.

✧ sweet lovin that he’s been missing, then some spooning as you sleep

a/n: just wanna tackle these about 4 characters at a time but if u wanna see this headcanon w/ other characters feel free to hmu w/ an ask <3<b> also sorry if i text type a lot and that im inconsistent with my apostrophes, let me know if that’s something you want me to fix!

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #daichi x reader #sugawara x reader #hinata x reader #tsukishima x reader #daichi sawamura #sugawara koushi x reader #hinata shoyo x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #sugawara koushi #hinata shoyo #tsukishima kei

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badfey · 4 years ago

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is there anything u wish u had known pre-top surgery? I’m trying to schedule mine next yr and I’m worried I rushed into picking my surgeon even tho I looked at a Lot. I’ve got a list of questions to ask but curious if there’s anything you can think of! Thanks, if u get a chance to reply 🥺

firstly congrats and good luck with your top surgery, i hope the wait goes quickly!!

There were a lot of things i wasn’t expecting about top surgery - not necessarily that i wish i’d known in advance, just that i didn’t anticipate. I wrote a document of them not long after surgery which ill post soon and link back to here :) right now ill go through the main stuff i wish i had known, and any questions i had (under a cut because it got long)

Stuff I Wish I’d Known

Some of this depends on how your surgeon does things. I had 6 days before my post-op appointment w chest reveal.

That first week is tough. Ymmv, but for me it was really hard. I knew that post-op depression was a thing, i didn’t realise what it would feel like. For me it was a lot of being tired and not being able to sleep because of not being able to get comfortable (having to sleep elevated for a few days & pain), so getting more tired and bored but too fatigued to do anything in that classic frustrating cycle. Once i slept decently for the first time i felt human again (nytol is a lifesaver). It’s also tough bc ur sweaty n uncomfortable and u haven’t showered or taken off the post-op binder for a week, and with the dressings and swelling it doesn’t feel like its really happened yet? After chest reveal thats a lot easier

Sometimes moving around you’ll feel something like pull or pop and you get so so paranoid about pulling a stitch i seriously thought id pulled a stitch but its usually like the dressings adhesion or something, you don’t need to freak out. My best friend here was this uk trans fb group because i could search and find years of posts with ppl having the same problems, or ask and ppl would give advice and calm me down, so it’s good to join a community like that ready for if you inevitably get stressed about something (also good for post-op boredom)

You cant use your arms to move. Sounds obvious but like i never realised how much i reflexively rely on using arms to move sitting positions on a bed, and how you need to pay attention to override that impulse.

Peeing after anesthetic is weirdly hard. It really helps if you practise consciously releasing the specific muscles to pee beforehand

I was so hungry. I got fed sure (great food too) but i wish i had taken snacks.

Questions to ask

Im gonna list some stuff that you may already know/have on your list but it might help fill any gaps :)

When are your post-ops? Are they included in the surgery price? Mine were at 6 days (chest reveal) and 8 weeks (normally 6 weeks but my surgeon was on holiday lol) and both included in the price of surgery (which is standard for here i think). Its good to have rough timeframes in advance so you can plan around it.

Ask about revisions - are they included in the price, what is the timeframe you can get revisions for, how you would start the revision process if you need it? Hopefully you won’t need it but its important to know just in case & so you don’t need to worry about it. I think my surgeon got a bit touchy when I brought up revisions but i was just clear that if I’m getting this surgery and paying a lot of money for it i need to know this stuff in advance which as a professional he should be fine with.

Can you have a say in scar shape and/or nipple size? Usually you can, and this is often at the pre-op when they draw all over your chest before surgery. Don’t feel like you can't weigh in - this is your chest. Also even at consultation they might be able to give you an idea of what your scar/s will look like.

If you’re getting nipple grafts, ask about their graft success rate!! I was super stressed about my nipples falling off, but my surgeon said that even though stats say about 10% of nipple grafts r unsuccessful, in practise he sees a much smaller percentage than that, and even ones that do reject often grow back (lmk if u wanna know more what i mean) or can just be easily touched up with tattooing. Also if theres anything they recommend for graft success.

Does your surgeon recommend using arnica? Arnica is a homeopathic remedy for bruising, swelling, and wound healing. There’s differing views on whether it actually works, but in my case i took arnica tablets 1 week before and 2 weeks post-op and i think it really helped. They also tasted nice. Some people use arnica gel to aid healing once you can start massaging.

Where will you be for overnight recovery? Will you be on a ward or in a room? Do you have access to a TV? Do you have access to a plug socket or charging point? Do you get wifi? Chances are you’ll be bored at some point over the time you’re in there, especially if you struggle sleeping. It’s good to know whats available in advance so you can come with things to keep you entertained.

Does your surgeon use drains? You probably already know/have an idea of this bc its something a lot of ppl consider when choosing surgeons, buts its good to know if you don’t. Also, it can change - I chose my surgeon partially because he only uses overnight drains so you don’t have to deal with them in recovery. When i was there i found out he has stopped using drains altogether for smaller guys so i never actually had them (pleasant surprise).

Does your surgeon want you to wear a post-op binder? Do they supply the binder? Post-op binders r a good idea they stop swelling soo much, so even if your surgeon doesn’t recommend it i’d definitely ask if it’d be safe for you to wear one. You can't wear regular binders. If you’re sourcing your own, again trans groups r great bc they can give local recs and lots of people sell/pass on their old ones. I am happy to give anyone recs, but they’re all uk based.

How will you communicate with nurses post-op? Most people don’t live too near their top surgeon, so you’ll probably check-up remotely. I just sent nurses emails of my nips and incisions and anything i was worried about the healing of and they’d let me know if it looked okay.

If you have any conditions/disabilities/illnesses, ask if they’ve ever operated on someone with them/similar before. I have fibro + hypermobility and tbh it was reassuring to hear him talk about experiences other patients with chronic pain had had before and how they coped.

Okay sorry that was really long, but its pretty much everything i could think of question wise! I hope it helps! Let me know if there’s any other questions you have at all :)

#asks #anon #trans stuff #top surgery #top surgery advice #DI top surgery #double incision #transition advice #ok to rb #Anonymous

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mbeebowriting · 5 years ago

Text

draco malfoy x reader

warnings: none other than a kinda ooc draco!

word count: 1.8k

notes: okay this is very specific and super self indulgent but also really sweet and cute so!!! enjoy!!! (also this is unedited bc im too antsy and excited to post it

the past 2 weeks had overwhelmed you. tests, papers, concerts, forced social gatherings- your energy had just run out. you still had another week to go before any kind of break though- so the timing of your burnout was less than ideal. at this point, you barely had enough energy to talk to your friends, so when draco malfoy tapped on your shoulder during class, you whirled around, ready to fight. what you weren’t expecting was his question.

“can you help me with this?” you blinked in surprise. she you had short conversations before class, but it still shocked you a little bit.

“yeah, sure. i’ll show you.” you walked him through the spell a few times, until he was able to execute it well enough to pass.

“great, thank you!” he said with a smile. his politeness threw you off, and all you could do was smile and turn back around. what you didn’t see was how his smile fell after that.

the next day, for whatever reason, he sat next to you, but you were still feeling equally as drained as the day before. at the end of class he stopped you from leaving with yet again, a small conversation.

“do you think we could meet out of class to work on these charms? you seem to really understand it and i could use some help.”

“im sorry draco- my schedule is completely packed until our break.” you replied with a sad smile. “i’ve actually got another performance tonight for the staff dinner.”

“hm. what about after that? we could grab some dinner and study.” you were taken aback again. why was he being so nice to you? you couldn’t turn him down after he’s showing you kindness you’ve never seen before. plus, he was really cute, you’ve always kind of had a thing for him.

“alright, how about 8 o’clock in the great hall?”

“great, it’s a date.” he said with a wink before leaving the class- leaving you flustered and unsure of what just happened.

after you had finished your performance, you made your way to the great hall, spotting draco on the way. you chatted idly while grabbing some food and a table. draco sat to your right and your textbooks piled up to your left. once you began studying, you felt the weight of the day hit you, and you ended up zoning out and staring at your textbook. you laid your head in your hand and decided to close your eyes for just one minute. unsurprisingly, you fell asleep. when you woke up, you and draco were the only ones in the room.

“good morning.” draco said. it was at this point that you realized the position you were in, in your sleep, you had shifted so that your head was resting on his shoulder. you immediately lifted your head up and avoided eye contact with him.

“what time is it?”

“11:30-ish.”

“you let me sleep that long?’ you exclaimed.

“you just seemed so tired and like you needed a break. and plus…” he trailed off. “nevermind.”

“no no, wait. plus what?” he became visibly flustered.

“nothing, there is no plus!”

“tell me what the plus is or i’ll ditch you and hang out with potter instead.” his eyes widened- did that actually make him mad?

“fine. i was just going to say you looked cute on my shoulder like that.” now it was your turn to be flustered. suddenly your textbook was incredibly interesting. you could feel him smirking beside you, but couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. he leaned into to your ear and sent chills down your spine as he spoke. “but to be fair, you look cute all the time.” you covered your face with your hands to hide your blush. he went to pull your hands away, and chuckled as you swatted them away. “hey, you asked for this! why are you so embarrassed anyway, i’m just stating facts.” you sighed in response, but couldn’t hold back a smile.

“i need to go draco, i have another concert tomorrow and i need to be at my best.” your smile fell.

“alright. i hope it goes well.” you gave him a sad smile and couldn’t stop the tears from pricking at your eyes. “hey woah, what’s going on? are you okay?”

“yeah.” you said shakily and unconvincingly, to which he gave you a look. “i’m just exhausted and… i really wish my family could be here for this concert.” you were so focused on talking without crying your barely noticed draco’s hand holding your own. “everyone else’s families come for this concert, it’s our last one, but my parents decided… they would rather visit my sisters than me. i just wish someone would come support me at this last concert.” one tear was set free as you blinked. it rolled down your cheek and dropped onto draco’s hand. he was clearly caught off guard by your sudden change in emotion, but his voice was steady when he spoke.

“what time is it?”

“no, draco-”

“and where?”

“draco you don’t have to come out of pity, it’s okay. this is how it’s always been, i’m used to it. i stopped looking for familiar faces in the audience years ago.”

“what? that’s not okay! when and where is it. i’ll be there.” you studied his eyes before answering.

“it’s here, after they serve dinner.”

“i’ll be there.”

“...why?” “because you deserve to have someone in the audience-”

“no, why are you being so nice to me? this feels so… out of character for you.” his eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but your own.

“i- you just haven’t done anything wrong for me to… uhh…” he struggled to find the word. “tease you for.” you couldn’t help but feel disappointed at his response.

“well, thank you for that i guess. but we should really get going. it’s late.” he agreed with you, so you packed up all your things and went your separate ways.

“(y/n)!” your roommate shouted as you walked in. “where on GOD have you been? don’t you have a concert tomorrow and classes all morning?” you flopped down on your bed.

“yeah, since when do you track my schedule?”

“you were complaining about it in charms.”

“fair enough, that does sound like me. but why are you so worried about this suddenly?”

“hmm, not worried, just curious.” she said, sitting next to you on your bed. “i happened to walk by the great hall just an hour ago,” your eyes went wide. “and saw you with none other than the prince of slytherin himself: draco malfoy.”

“don’t jump to conclusions, we were just studying.”

“for god’s sake (y/n), you were asleep on his shoulder! did he ever say it was a date? i bet he did.”

“well yeah, but i thought he was just teasing. he does that.” she gave you the same look that draco had given you earlier. “okay and he also called me cute and is coming to my concert tomorrow but don’t read into that, he probably wasn’t serious!”

“guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“what?”

“well if he has a thing for you too, he’ll be at the concert.”

“too? excuse you?”

“i love you to death (y/n) but you’re a terrible liar, and you’re not very subtle.”

the day’s classes had flown by- it was concert time. you arrived early, helping set up the chairs and music, and once you had settled into your spot and people had filled in, you couldn’t believe what you saw. what seemed like the entirety of the slytherin house was packed into the front section, with one familiar asshole front and center. he caught your eye and sent you a smile. you couldn’t even think of what to do back, you were too shook.

the concert itself went by quickly. you played beautifully, and all of your emotions poured through your instrument. by the end, you were shaky, emotional, and nervous to see draco after. you didn’t have much time to compose yourself however, as he was the first person you saw as you walked off stage. before you could say anything, he wrapped you in a hug (but quickly pulled away once he realized people were staring).

“you did incredible!”

“thank you- how did you… why are there… what?” you could barely get a sentence out.

“i just asked some people to come and support you, you deserve a big cheering section.”

“draco, i…” suddenly you were aware of everyone standing around you two. “can we maybe go somewhere a little quieter?” he nodded and pulled you through the crowd, out the door, and down the hallway into the courtyard. he sat down on a bench and motioned for you to sit next to him, which you gladly did. you took a deep breath before speaking, trying to kill your nerves that arose with the thought of sharing your feelings with him. you were so in your head, you barely processed what he said when he spoke.

“you really did well up there today. and you look stunning too, by the way.” again, no thoughts heady empty, you could not think of a response for the life of you. he chuckled. “i’m sure you’ve figured it out by now, i’m not just nice to you because you ‘done nothing wrong’ or whatever i said yesterday.” he stared at you, waiting for a response, but all you could do was smile and let your palms sweat. “are you really gonna make me say it? it’s because i like you (y/n).” the final twist of the knife. there were simultaneously one million and absolutely no thoughts swimming around your head, but when you didn’t respond he started to lean away and looked hurt.

“wait no- i’m sorry! this is just a lot all at once! i like you too draco.” you rushed out. he returned to your side, eyebrows raised.

“yeah?”

“yeah. you must have charmed me or something, because i really do. somehow.”

“hey! first of all, rude. second of all, i’m terrible at charms. you know that.” you two joked back and forth until the moon shone brightly up above. after you both agreed it was time to head back to your respective dorms, a nervous silence fell.

“sooo…” you drawled on. “good night i guess?”

“good night to you too.” silence again. “do you have time for another study date tomorrow? i spent most of our last one being nervous and trying not to wake you up.”

“yeah! i’m free tomorrow night if you want?”

“alright, it’s a date.” he said for leaning down to kiss you, and walking away. leaving you flustered and unsure of what just happened for the second time that week.

#harry potter #draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy fluff #draco fanfiction #draco imagine #harry potter imagine #hp imagine #am i missing tags? idk im terrible at tags lol

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satonthelotuspier · 5 years ago

Note

I'm seeing prompts on your site and does that mean you are accepting them right now? I've never requested a prompt before and I don't know what to do? But if I'm doing it right I'd really like to see 13 for XueXiao from the bodyguard au prompt list? Fluffy or angsty, as you please. Am I doing this right?

OK so Im being obvious, but this contains XueXiao.

Modern Bodyguard AU so none of the complications of canon apply.

Now the disclaimers are out of the way, I have to apologise to the very patient @amaskinamirror bc this took so much longer to write than I expected. The reason being most of my prompt fics end up around the 1k-1.4k word mark and this kept going and kept going because there was a story there. It came in around the 4.5k work mark. Think of it as added value, unless you hate it in which case it’s not ;)

Pompts from this post here

Part 2 now available here

Xue Yang is the enfant terrible of the music world and his manager has pretty much had enough of his shitty behaviour. Features a thorny Xue Yang shaped by the worlds opinions of him, and a hardass yet caring Xiao Xingchen who maybe might just start to see beyond the lies.

Possible triggers/warnings: Also features swearing, man-handling, use of a date rape drug, minor injury and blood. Luckily XXC is there to save the day in all situations.

Xue Yang was woken up from a deep, no doubt alcohol-induced, sleep to the feeling of cold water being splashed in his face.

He shot upright coughing and spluttering and wiping water out of his eyes, trying to process what the hell had happened. The unconscious bodies around him all started to stir and groan back to lucidity.

Xue Yang followed the long line of the leg in front of him up to eventually meet a pair of dark eyes staring down at him without expression.

“What the fuck?” he demanded and tried to get up but someone he didn’t even remember the name of was laid across his legs.

It had been another party. One where they’d drunk hard and passed out before dawn some time; he didn’t know half the people here. That had never stopped him. Being the enfant terrible of the music industry took both time, effort and commitment.

The tall man bent down to extricate him, then yanked him to his feet.

“You have rehearsals in ninety minutes. Get showered, you smell like a brewery” a garment bag was pushed into his hands then he was waved in the direction of the hotel suite’s bathroom.

“Excuse me, but just who the fuck are you?” honestly his head felt a little woolly still from the after-effect of the alcohol he’d been drinking, but he was sure he didn’t know who this man was or what he was doing in his hotel suite.

“Your Fairy Godmother, Cinderella, now go get a shower, you’re wasting time”

Xue Yang grabbed hold of the collar of his jacket, “Don’t bullshit me”

The hand that clamped around his wrist was steel-like, “Your new security. Your manager sends his regards. I won’t tell you to go and shower again”

“Firstly, if you are security you are not my boss, so you can stop with the ordering me around like I’m your little bitch, secondly, you are my security? I’m sure if a duckling gets too close you’ll do a great job, otherwise…” he was going to push the other away, sure because of his willowy frame it would be easy. Quite how he ended up in an armlock and being dragged to the bathroom he didn’t know. He bit his tongue to stifle the cry of pain; no way would he utter the noise aloud. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” he snarled as the other kept going into the bathroom.

“I’ve already explained. I’m not going to repeat myself” the man opened the shower door, pushed Xue Yang into the cubicle and pushed the on button.

Of course Xue Yang never learned his lesson; he launched himself at the other only to bounce off the cubicle door as the other shut it behind him, holding it closed.

“New world order, xiao-Xue, get used to being my little bitch” the other grinned as Xue Yang punched the glass then yelled at the pain in his hand, “Clean up, I don’t want to be forced to come in there and clean you up myself”

***

Xue Yang curled himself up as small as possible on the back seat of the car; he was in high sulk. After calling his manager to demand an explanation of what was going on Jin Guangyao had told him in no uncertain terms he’d better get used to the idea of Xiao Xingchen being around. His new security was not only there to provide for his personal safety after a spate of disturbing mail (more disturbing than the usual run of the mill threats at least), but to whip him into some kind of shape as Jin Guangyao was convinced his terrible behaviour, bad reputation and general personality was about to lose them some very large contracts.

Everyone loved a bad boy in theory, but when it began to affect his ability to make his management company money then they were definitely going to act to protect their asset.

And that had come in the form of Xiao Xingchen, who looked as gentle and fragile as an orchid but who had already handed Xue Yang his ass once today already.

“A-Qing, I need breakfast” Xue Yang whined at his assistant as his stomach rumbled for the fourth time.

“You shouldn’t have upset the new bodyguard then” she mocked him quietly, and he retreated even more, pulling the hood of his jacket up and wrapping his arms around his knees as A-Qing took pity on him and leaned forward to ask the driver to stop at a nearby coffee shop.

They did, and A-Qing and the driver returned with coffees for all and a bag full of muffins.

Lao-Xia, the driver, and A-Qing had been with Xue Yang long enough to not meet his gaze as they started on their own food; Xiao Xingchen had no such warning; he was too busy goggling at Xue Yang who had made his own muffin disappear like a magician with a rabbit.

“Are you going to eat that?” Xue Yang asked, pointing at the baked bun in Xiao Xingchen’s hand.

He simply offered it over; perhaps surprised at the demonstration of the speed at which a muffin could be demolished without trace.

The second one followed the first in quick order and Xue Yang froze as the other reached over to brush the crumbs that had stuck to the corner of his mouth away with a thumb.

“You don’t want the Paparazzi to catch that” he said simply before turning in his seat to look out of the windscreen and sip at his coffee.

Xue Yang curled back in on himself and held his ridiculously sweet iced coffee to his chest.

“You eat too much sugar” Xiao Xingchen told him as Lao-Xia started the car and set off driving to the studio, “You need something to give you energy for the first meal of the day”

“Good luck with that, he functions on pure sugar and supplements” A-Qing mocked and Xue Yang shot her an annoyed look.

***

Xue Yang didn’t know why he was surprised the next morning when he was awoken by a solid shake to the shoulder.

He hadn’t been able to avoid the other to sneak off to party last night so he wasn’t hung over but that didn’t mean he was any more amenable to the idea of waking up.

“Come on Sleeping Beauty, you have to be at your first interview in an hour”

Interviews. His mortal enemy. The thing he hated most in the world. And he was still no better at dealing with them than he had been as a fresh face on the music scene, where the press had crucified him, thrown every painful fact of his past in his face and then painted him as a troubled bad boy with a temper; a role he’d eventually just given up fighting against and embraced.

He threw the blankets over his head; maybe if he just went back to sleep the interview would disappear.

The blankets were thrown back.

“Dude, what the fuck?” he demanded, was he allowed no privacy at all anymore?

“Get up” Xiao Xingchen jerked his head towards the bathroom.

“Fuck off. I’m not going” he reached out to push the other away.

It went about as well as yesterday had for him; he ended up face down on the bed with his arm locked up between his shoulder blades.

“Are you going to learn any time soon? I mean, kudos for persistence but lose points for stupidity. Now, last chance to get up on your own, otherwise I’ll throw you over my shoulder and you can go dressed like that”

Xue Yang wasn’t sure he believed the other was strong enough to actually carry him out of the hotel room, but he daren’t take the chance he might be dragged out kicking and screaming and dressed in his ratty old t-shirt and shorts.

“Fine, yes, I’m getting up. Let me go, please” as a street child he’d learned to beg prettily and it wasn’t a skill he was averse to using if he needed to, to survive. It didn’t need to be sincere, it just needed to sound it, to be calculated to pull on the other’s heart strings.

It didn’t seem to affect Xiao Xingchen, but he was released nonetheless.

***

Xue Yang of course arrived on time for his first interview, (there were three in total scheduled for today), as far as they went it wasn’t particularly gruelling for him, but he was fully aware he was a mess by the end of it; he’d probably come across like he was on drugs, but it wasn’t like that would be the first, second or third time the rumour would circulate in relation to him.

He knew Xiao Xingchen eyed him in consideration, but he ignored it; he didn’t have the presence of mind to survive the next two interviews and worry about what his new security agent was judging him for today.

He was much worse by the end of the second; he had been left alone a sitting room of the hotel the interview’s had been arranged at and he lowered his head into his hands, trying to even out his breathing and calm himself. His professionalism would be questioned even further if he failed to complete the last interview, or screwed up during it.

He felt the couch dip next to him, “Here” he looked up, poison on his tongue ready to be spit at Xiao Xingchen when he realised the other held out one of those large chocolate chip cookies in a napkin. There was also iced coffee sat on the table in front of him.

“Just relax, empty your head, and focus on the cookie” Xiao Xingchen informed him; raising an eyebrow as Xue Yang didn’t immediately accept the confectionery from him.

He took it with tentative thanks; and it vanished almost immediately once he’d decided to accept the gesture. Once he’d gotten the sugary coffee inside him too he felt much better.

***

Despite his trash reputation he wasn’t late for a single appointment over the next weeks; Jin Guangyao assured him it was perfectly alright to project the rebel for the masses but when you played the brat with the people in the business you’d soon be blacklisted; a risk he wasn’t willing to take with Xue Yang.

Xue Yang hadn’t managed to get near alcohol or a party in that time due to Xiao Xingchen’s hawk eyes and iron control.

Since the second morning though instead of being woken up with a bucket of water to the face or bickering the other had started showing up with a sweet pastry and a staggeringly sugary iced coffee which he traded off for Xue Yang eating better at other mealtimes.

Overall it didn’t seem Xue Yang had a moment of time where the other wasn’t somewhere close, controlling everything, keeping a watchful eye out.

And it bothered Xue Yang; he didn’t get used to the feeling of Xiao Xingchen being there like he’d been assured he would. He was still hyper aware of him, and he didn’t necessarily think it was because he was intimidated, despite the fact they’d had a few more altercations, none of which ended well for Xue Yang.

***

He tried to ditch his new security for his monthly visit to the orphanage his charity had built and ran; the less people who knew about it the better. Of course he couldn’t shake the other off so he had to attend followed by Xiao Xingchen, and explain to the children who the tall ge was. He was a great hit with them, and although Xue Yang pretended to be annoyed at Xiao Xingchen getting all the attention that the youngsters usually showered on him secretly he was entertained as he watched the other romp with the rough kids, or play softly with the quieter ones.

“This is the first time you’ve brought a bodyguard” he turned slightly at the sound of Tian Ying, the matron of the orphanage and the woman who’d helped bring him up in a similar institution when he had been a boy had come up beside him. “Are you in danger, xiao-Xue?”

“Of course not” he didn’t consider the crazy mail Jin Guangyao was filtering from him any more of a threat than any of the other mail he’d received in the last few years, and he definitely didn’t want her to worry about him, “They just decided I needed someone to carry my bags for me”

He didn’t have time to say much more as he was dragged into an impromptu game of football in the yard, where he and Xiao Xingchen were on opposite teams.

They played around half-heartedly until a Xiao Xingchen who was grace incarnate except apparently on a football pitch, stuck his foot out and took Xue Yang’s feet from under him and he tumbled. The fall itself wasn’t bad but he was a little grazed as they played on the yard and not grass.

Xiao Xingchen was unusually all apologies and personally saw to tending the grazes Xue Yang’s tumble had caused, despite his assurances he was absolutely fine. The touch of the other still made his pulse flutter in some odd emotion and the way Xiao Xingchen kept glancing up at him, like he’d discovered a rare and new species, was disconcerting. And pissed him off, because he could guess what it was about.

“Just don’t” he said through his teeth so no one around them could hear.

“Don’t what? Congratulate you on what you’ve built here? On what you’re doing for these kids?”

“Yes, don’t. I don’t want to hear it” he sucked a breath in at the sting of the antiseptic where Xiao Xingchen applied it to his grazes.

“Alright, whatever you want” Xiao Xingchen let it drop but he still looked at Xue Yang with something approaching admiration in his eyes.

And it was addictive, to have someone look at him like that, and not like he was trash. But then it had never bothered him before. Was it purely because it was Xiao Xingchen and he wanted to be more than trash in that man’s eyes?

“I guess you read too many gossip rags” Xue Yang sniped, “I’m not on drugs, in any weird cults, or a complete slut either”

Instead of bullshitting him and denying he’d thought anything of the kind Xiao Xingchen agreed instead, “I’m beginning to see that. Of course that doesn’t mean you don’t have a vile temper, that you don’t ever learn your lessons, or that you don’t sulk like a baby when I tell you no”

He was about to make one of his usual responses when the game of football moved closer and he clamped his lips closed on the curse.

There was a knowing, teasing look in the other’s eyes and as Xue Yang looked down into that finely-boned face he realised why the other’s good opinion had meant so much to him; why he was on tenterhooks whenever Xiao Xingchen was near, which was all the time at the moment, and why his pulse fluttered like his veins were full of butterflies whenever the other touched him. He was in love with Xiao Xingchen.

Well fuck.

***

Xue Yang paced around his hotel bedroom, feeling like a caged tiger. He wanted to destroy something. No, he really wanted a stiff drink.

Was he a masochist? What had made him fall in love with a man who knocked him around for fun? No of course that was unfair, Xiao Xingchen only ever restrained him and only when Xue Yang attacked first. Still, it must definitely be masochism.

Or Stockholm Syndrome; he had been at the mercy of the other, a virtual prisoner, for weeks now.

“I need a drink” he exclaimed aloud; and so he formulated a plan.

He took a quick shower and changed into something black and sexy and flashy, then he he called reception and asked for a taxi cab, and that they ring up to let him know when it had arrived.

He waited by his bedroom door, peeping through the tiniest opening for the phone to ring back; and as Xiao Xingchen got up from the couch to answer it he dashed out and past as silently as possible to give himself as much of a head-start as he could manage.

The doors of the elevator were closing just as he saw Xiao Xingchen enter the hallway and yell at him in rage.

He was in the taxi and away; his freedom all the sweeter for being carefully wrought.

***

Xue Yang was beginning to feel pleasantly buzzed and he was chatting quite happily with the guy who stood next to him at the bar of the VIP lounge. He’d been greeted by the usual crowd who hadn’t seen him around for the weeks he’d been kept prisoner, (OK maybe that was a little dramatic), but he’d never seen this guy before and new people were interesting.

Although he was beginning to get uncomfortable at how the other stared at him intently after he’d finished his drink.

He excused himself to “visit the bathroom” when life finally caught up with him. Life of course being Xiao Xingchen.

He pushed Xue Yang up against the wall of the corridor to the bathrooms, which was surprisingly currently empty.

“Hey” Xue Yang protested, although with alcohol relaxing his muscles it hadn’t really hurt as he hadn’t tensed for impact. Actually being pinned against the wall by the man you’d fallen in love with was quite nice. He had zero experience, bar some awkward kisses with a girl who’d known as little as him when he was younger, but apparently being manhandled was beginning to be something he enjoyed. Maybe because it was Xiao Xingchen though.

“I’d advise you to keep really quiet, I’m this close to spanking the living hell out of you” and really he’d never seen Xiao Xingchen’s deceptively delicate face so twisted in anger.

But of course alcohol impaired one’s judgement; to dangerous levels sometimes.

“Is that what you like?” he asked.

“What?” Xiao Xingchen was confused, his hand tightened on Xue Yang’s collar as if he suspected the other was planning something.

“Spanking, do you get off on it?”

“You really have no fucking self-preservation instincts do you?” Xiao Xingchen demanded and if Xue Yang hadn’t been so muddled due to the reaction of his body to the other, and the alcohol humming through his bloodstream he might have realised how much trouble he was in; he had never heard the other curse before in all their weeks together.

Instead he gave in to the urge pounding at the base of his brain, unable to control it anymore. He threw his arms around Xiao Xingchen’s neck and kissed him.

Well, it was clumsy and unskilled, but it probably still counted as a kiss.

He was pushed back against the wall unceremoniously, “What do you think you’re doing? You are my client. You are drunk. You are so out of line right now”

Of course he hadn’t really expected a different response. He somehow managed to pull himself free and stumbled back out into the VIP lounge.

Actually he seemed to be more drunk than he’d realised. He was suddenly barely able to control his body and he felt like his head was full of cotton wool. A hand touched his back, “Oh, you look terrible. Do you need to lie down? Should we get you out of here?” he was vaguely aware the voice wasn’t Xiao Xingchen’s, it belonged to the guy he’d been talking to at the bar, as he was guided towards the door but he really did need to lie down right now. He was about to nod his agreement when the supporting hand was violently removed.

“What the fuck did you give him?” that was Xiao Xingchen, although he couldn’t work out what the question meant. He felt the iron-grip of his security’s hand and he was pulled close to the other; he recognised the familiar scent of his aftershave and it set his mind at rest.

***

It had been days since the nightclub incident; and he’d managed to act completely clueless about the entire evening. In honesty there were huge swathes of Xue Yang’s memory that were completely blank, but he was cursed with vague recollection of him kissing Xiao Xingchen.

He wanted to die from embarrassment. He wanted to mope around at the rejection. He had to pretend like he was completely clueless about everything that happened though and let the other just write it off as a side effect of the Flunitrazepam the random guy at the nightclub had put in his drink.

He had been in touch with Jin Guangyao and begged the other to find him new security. He couldn’t carry on being around Xiao Xingchen all the time, feeling like he did, and scared to death he’d do something stupid to reveal his feelings in a way that couldn’t be pretended away like that stupid kiss.

He had faithfully promised he’d keep up the good behaviour Xiao Xingchen had bullied into him so long as Jin Guangyao replaced him with someone who wouldn’t cause Xue Yang such pain to have close.

His manager had promised to at least look into it.

Xue Yang didn’t realise he’d been wool-gathering in his head and managed to separate slightly from Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing until he saw a face in the crowd that made him uncomfortable.

He didn’t recognise the man but the fear that skittered down his spine was very real; he turned to try and get closer to Xiao Xingchen who called his name and dashed over; the flash he caught from the corner of his eye had him raising his arm in self-protection. He was dragged out of the way and thrown to the floor, catching nothing but a glancing blow as Xiao Xingchen took out the threat.

It was all very chaotic after that as the crowd helped keep the attacker captive until the police could arrive, and ambulance was also called as both he and Xiao Xingchen had taken knife wounds.

His was a cut to the arm that didn’t particularly bother him, it was the wound on Xiao Xingchen’s side that scared the life out of him. He used his folded jacket to keep pressure on the injury.

A-Qing fluttered around trying to get him to let someone else take over so they could do the same for his arm but he just waved her off; it was nothing.

“You really have no fucking self-preservation instincts” Xiao Xingchen told him in annoyance; luckily he seemed fully conscious at the moment.

“I know. I‘m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll be better from now on” he felt close to tears but fought them back brutally.

Xiao Xingchen nodded at what he said and looked into his eyes, “At least you’ll get your new bodyguard now, silver linings right?” he reached out with his left hand to thumb away one of the tears that Xue Yang hadn’t realised had escaped.

Fucking Jin Guangyao and his stupid big mouth.

“It’s for the best, xiao-Xue, in light of everything”

Which meant Xiao Xingchen was aware of his feelings and agreed the best way to deal with it was to move on. Well there went his dignity.

“You’re too precious for this cruel world in the limelight, anyway” Xue Yang tried to mock, his voice a little strangled.

“Which of us do you mean?” Xiao Xingchen asked and it was both an arrow to his heart and salve to his ego to hear such an opinion from the other.

He was glad when the paramedics had arrived and he was shuffled away to have his own wound dealt with so he could save some face. If the paramedic thought the tears were a reaction to the pain or shock of being attacked then good.

They were taken to a nearby hospital to be treated. Xue Yang’s cut needed a few stitches so he was ready to be sent away reasonably quickly, but he stayed in the waiting room until A-Qing came back to report Xiao Xingchen was fine, he’d be kept in for a few days as his would was deeper and nastier but he was stable and in no danger.

“Aren’t you going to visit before we go?” she asked, but he shook his head. And honestly she was smart enough that she probably knew what was going on and why he didn’t want to impose on the other. “Alright, lets get you back to the hotel. I think Jin Guangyao will be waiting, unfortunately, I can’t do anything to put him off this time”

Xue Yang sighed and accepted his fate.

One Month Later

The stage lights faded for the last time and he was finally able to slip offstage. He was lathered with sweat and completely exhausted. Xue Yang’s knife wound hadn’t been particularly deep or damaging but it was surprising how much it had knocked him down. He still tired out so much more easily than he was used to, but he hadn’t wanted to put this concert off, preferring to get it out of the way so he could take a holiday for a couple of weeks and use it to think about the next steps in his career, and indeed life, with nothing hanging over his head.

The man who had attacked them had been the same who had drugged his drink in the nightclub, although due to the effects Xue Yang couldn’t identify him; it had been lucky his subconscious had reacted to the man though, or it could have been so much worse.

He accepted the towel A-Qing held out for him as he met his entourage in the back stage passages and dried off, pulling on the coat she had also brought him.

There was an oddly smug look on her face and he questioned her.

“Nothing, just something funny is all” she refused to be drawn on what caused her to smile so.

They made it back to the dressing rooms and he was bundled inside.

He wondered, uncharitably, if she was on drugs.

“No rush, your car won’t be here for quite some time yet” A-Qing told him as she shut the door behind him and he turned to find his street clothes. Except he wasn’t alone.

Oh.

Suddenly he daren’t move from the doorway, not sure whether to tear it open and flee or move into the room and act like he wasn’t bothered in the slightest.

In the end he compromised, did nothing and stayed exactly where he was.

“Why are you here?” he tried to keep his voice steady, and luckily it didn’t shake too much.

“Why do you think?” Xiao Xingchen asked him.

#mdzs #mdzs fanfic #mdzs fic #xuexiao #xue yang #xiao xingchen #Modern AU #Bodyguard AU #Blood cw #injury cw #date-rape-drug cw #pining #one-sided feelings?

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sunriseskog · 6 years ago

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comethru- Auston Matthews

Request: n/a this was entirely self induglent bc im sad and ive had comethru by Jermey Zucker stuck in my head for weeks

Word Count: 2,267

Warnings: cursing, angst, dudes being assholes, mentions of tr*ding auston

A/N: ive been on hiatus for a long ass time so any feedback is more than welcome!!!! also i am fully aware that i used this gift for my last post but its hot and i dont care

It had been a little over a month since Auston left. No… that’s not quite right. It had been a little over a month since Auston left Toronto. It had been just barely under a month since you had left Auston.

You weren’t entirely sure who the trade surprised more, but you did know for a fact that it had had a far greater effect on you than it had on Auston.

He had remained optimistic in the beginning. After all, Buffalo is barely a 2-hour drive on a bad day. On a good day, he could probably make it in an hour and a half. But the two of you had quickly reached the conclusion that either of you driving 4+ hours a day wasn’t practical, and it wasn’t fair to whoever drew the short end of the stick, pun intended. You knew he would never ask you to move for him, hell even moving in together had been a stretch for you, but you also knew that there was an unspoken expectation that eventually the both of you would relocate closer to the arena.

Before he had even reached the border, you had managed to convince yourself that this short distance relationship would cripple your relationship before you could even begin filling out the US immigration forms to move with him, let alone actually convince yourself to do it. So you backed off. You knew that trying to exhaust what was left of the relationship would only end up destroying you the both of you more than was necessary, so you let go. You knew it wouldn’t take him long to pick up on the fact that you were becoming distant, taking longer to respond to texts, barely calling him back and conveniently timing your responses with the specific intention of him not being able to pick up. You may have been stupid, but you sure as hell weren’t subtle. You knew that as long you were the bad guy in the scenario, it wouldn’t take him nearly as long to get over you, and as long as you remained in control of the situation, you knew that you’d come out of the tail end of things perfectly fine.

And you were. You were absolutely, positively fine. But that was all you were. You weren’t good or great or doing well, you were just… fine. You were off-kilter, sure, but you were surviving, and that was honestly all you had come to ask of yourself. You were sure that the other shoe would drop soon enough, you had ridden the high and now you were at the plateau, but the comedown seemed to always be lurking around the corner.

One too many sleepless nights in a row had come to significantly impact your sleeping schedule. It had gotten to the point where your boss had come to expect your work day to end at 5 am instead of 5 pm. It was nice, though. To see the city when it felt like no one else could. To have your whole day to yourself, even though it was technically night. Everything was much quieter, and there were moments where it felt like you might be the only person in the entire city to be awake, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You rarely interacted with anyone, you didn’t even wake up until hours after the last of your coworkers had left the building, and every errand you had to run could be completed via the self-checkout of the 24 hr supermarket a few blocks away from your apartment building. You weren’t lonely by any means, you just so happened to be alone.

Except on game nights. You were never alone on game nights. Luckily, there weren’t very many Toronto residents that enjoyed watching one of their franchise players play in a different teams jersey, but you still couldn’t help but punish yourself by watching his games whenever they were on at the sports bar you frequented. You told yourself that as long as someone else put the game on, and as long as you left with someone new before the game was over, then it wasn’t nearly as pathetic as it seemed.

An issue arose the first time Toronto played the Sabres. You hadn’t checked the schedule, you just knew that there was a game. You also knew that if you were ever alone when a game was on you would curl up with far too much ice cream and a borderline dangerous amount of rum, neither of which were ideal. Immediately upon entering the bar, you knew that it was far too crowded for there to not be a Leafs game on, it was nowhere near baseball season, and the sea of blue jerseys couldn’t be for any other team. An involuntary wince consumed your face as Auston’s name reached your ears, it seemed like every congregation of fans in the entire establishment were talking about him, and a cursory glance at the nearest screen confirmed your fears.

The bad news was that if you stayed, you would have to watch Auston play, which was bound to be painful for any Leafs fan, but this one would hurt you just a little more than all the others— the knowledge that he was just across the city weighed heavily on your shoulders as you pushed through the crowd to find an empty stool somewhere. The worse news was that there was no way in hell a single guy in here would be willing to leave before the game was over, so you’d either have to watch all of it and then fuck the feelings away, or go home and watch all of it and probably end up crying for a majority of the third period. The former seemed like a more viable option at the time.

Now, though? You wished you had just gone home. Because it turns out you were wrong, there was a dude at the bar who was willing to leave before the end, as it would turn out, he was ready to leave before the second period was halfway through. That should have been your first red flag.

In your defense, you had a lot of other shit going on, and your brain was far too preoccupied coping with the stress that the game was bringing to consider the fact that the nice guy who had been paying for your drinks might not turn out to be that nice after all.

On the cab ride back to your apartment, you found out that his name was Sam and he was a lifelong Leafs fan. The two of you bonded over having grown up around hockey without actually playing it, and you even shared a cigarette at the entrance of your building’s lobby. It wasn’t until the two of you stepped into your living room that things took a turn for the worse.

The framed and signed Matthews jersey on the mantle had been more of a joke than anything else, all of your friends thought it was funny while the two of you were together, and you hadn’t had anyone over since the breakup, so you hadn’t found a reason to convince yourself to take it down. The look of disgust on Sam’s face as soon as he laid eyes on it would have been a fairly convincing reason if you actually gave a shit what he thought about you.

“That’s borderline sacrilege,” he commented, gesturing towards the display. You shot him an incredulous look, waiting for him to give any indication that he was making a joke.

“What?” You questioned, not really confused, just wanting to clarify if he was saying. What you thought he was saying.

“You can’t seriously call yourself a leafs fan and still support that guy! He’s a traitor,” He asserted. His over passionate gesturing indicated that he was genuinely this invested in the topic, which should have been your second red flag.

“I mean c’mon, (Y/N),” He continued. “You’re not stupid, are you?”

You couldn’t help but scoff at how pretentious and condescending he was being, without seeming to realize that he was acting like an absolute prick.

“I can assure you, Samuel,” You drawled sarcastically. “I am anything but stupid, but you have got to be absolutely moronic if you genuinely believe that I’m going to let you fuck me after speaking to me like I'm a goddamn child. Your kinks are your business but that's not really my style,” you sneered as you moved towards the doorway in order to invite him to throw himself out so you didn’t have to bother touching him any more than you already had.

“Now why don’t you get the fuck out of my house, dick head,” You spoke as your lip curled and your brow quirked, gesturing through the doorway to drive the point through his thick skull.

“Gladly,” He scoffed, slamming his shoulder into yours as he stepped past you. “Not like I’d want to fuck a whore like you anyways!” He shouted over his should as he started towards the stairs.

“Open your mouth that wide again and I’m gonna have to ask you to chortle my cock, Samuel” You responded, giving a middle finger to his back for your own satisfaction. You had never been one to censor your insults, and over the years they had become more and more lewd. This, of course, had never really presented itself as a problem until you caught the eye of your neighbor as you turned to storm back inside of your apartment. You couldn’t help but wince apologetically at the old woman, giving her a repentant head nod as you shuffled back inside.

You let your back hit the inside of the door, sliding roughly down until your tailbone hit the hardwood floor beneath your feet. Of course, the first substantial interaction you had in over a month would turn out to be a spectacular disaster. And of course, it was because of Auston. Realistically, you knew it wasn’t his fault, you just really really needed someone else to blame right now. You carded your fingers through your scalp roughly, and let out an elongated groan in the hopes that it would satisfy the overwhelming urge that you had had to scream at the top of your lungs for the past month or so.

As you stared at your own intertwined fingers in an attempt to calm yourself down, you couldn’t help but notice that your fingers were shaking. This wasn’t a recent development by any means, but this was the first time that you had noticed it being this aggressive. It usually only happened when you had coffee, which was why you had abstained from it for a majority of your life. As you looked back on what your routine had become, you realized that through all the late nights and later mornings, you had been popping caffeine pills and ordering espressos far more than the ‘one-time thing’ you told yourself it was. The realization that your life had done a complete 180 in the span of 5 weeks began to weigh on you, and it seemed like your mind was consumed entirely by flurries of memories of bad habits you had fallen back into and the lifeless moments you had spent floundering, convincing yourself that you were fine on your own, despite the fact that that was anything but the truth.

It didn’t take very long to find his contact picture in your recent messages. You hadn’t had much of a reason to talk to that many people lately. It took longer to open up the message thread, trying to prepare yourself to view the unbearably awkward finality of your most recent messages to each other. The preview underneath his name only served as a painful reminder that the last time he had texted you was to say that he loved you. And you hadn’t said it back.

You weren’t sure if he was going to respond, hell you went sure he was even going to read it. For all you knew it was entirely within the realm of possibility that he had blocked you a while ago. You knew exactly what to say, surprisingly, that wasn’t the hard part. Of the few letters that you typed, the closer you got to reaching out to him again seemed to calm you down more and more. By the time you tacked on the question mark at the end, your fingers had stopped trembling for there first time in what you could assume had been at least a couple of weeks. You let your phone drop to the floor as soon as you hit send, either he would be here within the hour or his response wouldn’t be worth reading. Those were the only options on the table. Either he was going to come and the two of you were going to get to be okay for a little while, or it truly was the end. If that was the case then you really didn’t want to see what he had to say. You heard your phone vibrate from where it laid just a couple feet away, and as much as the desire consumed you, you couldn’t bring yourself to move to see what it said. So you sat there, and waited to see if you would be able to hear those oh so familiar footsteps ascending your staircase again, responding to your oh so familiar request.

‘come thru?’

#i am literally begging you to tell me what you think #auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #Toronto Maple Leafs #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #imagines #imagine

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ofjunkrcts · 5 years ago

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OKAY HI u guys have no idea how pumped i am for this!!!!!! i almost NEVER pick up second characters so u know that means i gotta whole lot of love in my heart for this girl :’) let’s jump right in i’m so excited!!!!!!!!!

part one: the backstory!!!!

what the fuck is up im coming at u HOT with another Hot Fucking Mess say hello to my mfn BABYGIRL frankie rivera

yes frankie is a nickname no u probably don’t know what her full name is bc undersharing is the name of the game baby

born on the wrong side of the tracks…… literally! technically the trailer park she grew up in wasn’t Actually an ashmont mailing address bc heaven forbid 100% of ashmont residents aren’t stupid rich! but thanks to the wonder that is school of choice, frankie still went to ashmont high school w the gang way back when!

(sex work tw) she was raised by her single mother who was a community college dropout when a random ass hookup ended up in her being pregnant! her mom has worked two jobs all of frankie’s life to afford the basics, being a waitress at a bar by day and also a stripper by night to make that money and provide for her daughter! and even though they barely BARELY ever had enough to make ends meet, frankie’s momma is her whole HERO so watch ur mouth

because she didn’t really have much growing up and because her mom’s demanding work schedule left her with very little supervision, she resorted to petty theft at a pretty young age. sometimes it was to get things that she or her mom needed, like medicine from the gas station down the street. sometimes it was to get things that she wanted, like if she wanted fresh fruit for breakfast. and, eventually, she ended up stealing because it was what everyone expected from someone “like her”

by the time that high school came around, frankie’s tendency for theft had surpassed means of survival and had, instead, had turned into something that she couldn’t stop herself from doing. she stole clothes, makeup, accessories, art supplies, anything and everything that the world of rich kids around her made her believe that she needed but couldn’t afford on her own and she quickly found that she couldn’t stop herself

the idea that she was constantly being judged by people who looked down on her, constantly believing that there were a set of expectations she would always be held to, constantly being seen as nothing and constantly having to prove that she wasn’t worthless — all became recurring themes in her life

the first person frankie met who changed her life was a man named mel carson, the owner of carson’s automotive shop. when she was fifteen, frankie got caught attempting to shoplift from the pharmacy of the convenience store and, really, she’d just been lucky that mel had been there and convinced the owner of the store to let her go with a warning, paying for what she’d been trying to steal. and then he’d really saved her life by offering her a job at the shop

the second person frankie met who changed her life was her art teacher, junior year. coincidentally, it was another instance where she thought that she was going to end up in trouble with the law. she’d developed a love for art at a young age, but it had always seemed untouchable until the day that she began to express herself through graffiti. it was her art teacher who found her spray painting one of the back walls of the school and, instead, of reporting her to the school or to the ashmont pd for vandalism, he looked at her and saw the talent and the passion with which her work was carefully completed. he convinced her to start taking classes, gave her a place and supplies to work in his classroom, fostered her interests and encouraged her to stick with it

she did and, by some miracle, she ended up at st e’s on a scholarship for her art after spending a year at community college, which she never thought would have happened to someone like her. opening her college acceptance letter, with her mom looking on and beaming with pride, was the first time in her life that frankie truly felt like she might be able to amount to something

now she’s out here at st e’s chilling, working at the art gallery, also running a “technically illegal because you don’t have any certification” underground auto shop in the junkyard just chilling !!!!!!!

PART 2: PERSONALITY

as far as her personality goes, frankie can probably best be described as being single minded to the point of recklessness. she has been held accountable for very few things in her life, never really had a lot of responsibilities, was never held to a very high standard, often got away with things she shouldn’t have without seeing repercussions, etc. because of that she’s always been a bit flighty and had a difficult time seeing the full extent of the consequences of her actions

this probably..... best displays itself in her tendency to be...... overly flirtatious with uhhh everyone all the time she is so TERRIBLE about it she is so so flirty n so so ........ Like That. i dont mean 2 be that person but like........ female danny/female noah. thats her ladies!! ready n willing to sleep w anyone at almost any moment in time

but shes super gay so jot that down xoxo

ANYWAY. it isnt that she’s not empathetic bc she IS. she gets Way Too Attached to people and then backs out before she can fully commit bc..................

she’s also a BIG TIME commitment-phobe, terrified of letting people in and seeing the parts of her that she keeps tucked away under a cool, icy, collected exterior which mostly stems from the fact that she has a lot of repressed contempt towards people who have always viewed her as lesser because of her status, social standing, etc

i might be biased but??? i love her and think she’s a good person still??? like deep down she’s such a sweetheart she really is, she likes to just hang out in the junkyard and and go through trash that people threw away and pick out pieces of things that can be built into something new and beautiful

she’s super sentimental deep down but will throw punches if anyone tries to say that, she doesn’t give a SHIT if she’s only like 5 ft tall she will fight

she’s a baby and strongly identifies in the “junk” of the junkyard n wants someone to put effort into her to make her beautiful the way that she does to everything else and that’s on that

OKAY. PLOTS

basically i have some in my brain already but im gonna do the tldr version of them rn so that i can POST THIS.

first of all, GIVE HER SPICY CONNECTIONS PLS kiki is the loml n my girl but shes 2 sad 2 b spicy ever in her life so LET ME HAVE A SPICY GIRL PLS

FRIENDS!!!!! she would live and die for her friends SO VERY MUCH give her some sweet wholesome plots esp someone who was perhaps her friend back in the day

“EXES” and i put it in quotations bc its... highly unlikely that frankie was ever 1000000% committed and in a serious relationship (OR maybe she was maybe ur character was the 1 exception that broke her heart) BUT THERE R SO MANY POSSIBILITIES FOR THIS TO GO MESSY

also she needs ROOMMATES. WHO WANTS A ROOMMATE!!!!!!!!!!!

um????? hateship?????????? didnt get along??????????// still dont get along???????????

IDK. MY BRAIN IS SO SCATTERED BC I AM SO EXCITED N FEELING CRAZY BUT!!!!!!!!!!! ILY

#veritasintro #WHAT THE FUCK IS UPPPPPP

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queenangst · 5 years ago

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advice for high school??

advice for high school:

put yourself out there. i know high school is big and scary, but it's new. you're going to know people who you've seen all your life and people who you have never met before, probably. don't be afraid. sit next to someone new in chemistry and... bond. ask to squeeze in a lunch spot. smile at your teachers, say hello. join clubs. it's 2-4 years of your life, so find your people.

stop thinking about the numbers. this is one of the hardest things when you're surrounded by a pressured environment from all sides - teachers, students, parents. but let me tell you that you have to learn when to care and when to not. which times to fight and which times to let go. you might get your first 35 on a test. you might be ranked far behind your other classmates. not every homework has to be done well, just done at all. not every grade has to be an A, because in the end higher academic institutions care less than you think and not every "bad" grade is the end of the world. and if you don't do so hot on something, feel a little bad and then keep going. no use in dwelling, just do better next time. (sometimes just give up. don't do an assignment. take the 0. sometimes you need the time, or the break, and it's not worth doing.)

freedom. high school is the first taste of bigger opportunities in learning. choose classes you might have an interest in over what will boost your gpa or whatever. take art, take music, something creative, even if you are a stem student through and through, you don't have to do well but this will enrich your life and give your brain something different that isn't numbers or grammar or whatever. and creativity fosters community.

communicate with your teachers. some teachers accept nothing late ever period. some teachers procrastinate. actually a lot of teachers procrastinate they're really just like you. whatever the case talk to them. if you're having trouble understanding high school teachers often have some form of out of class tutoring/tutorials before, after, and even during school (such as at lunch). if you are sick, if you want them to look over a paper, if you need an extra day to finish your project and make it good, talk to your teachers. they want you to succeed. they cannot always be lenient for personal or academic reasons, but they will understand. and them knowing is better than them not.

get sleep. i mean it. 6 hours at least. 7 is good. 8+ is best. if you can't, at least sleep for some amount of time even if it's 30 minutes. if you can't sleep, still lie down for a bit in the dark and let your body rest even if your mind won't shut off. you will thank yourself in the morning.

do your damn homework. just do it. there's a lot, some of it is useless, but a lot of it is not. homework is meant to help you retain the info that you learned in class, or even learn more info that you will not cover in class.

on top of #6, read the textbook and listen in class. sometimes it's boring. just do it. you don't have to take notes but they definitely help, and notes never have to be pretty they just have to be legible to you. it can be bullet points. it can be diagrams. it can be a treasure map of weird associations. draw angry faces next to notes about dead historical figures. whatever works for you.

teachers are resources. ask if you can record lectures. see if they have a google classroom or someplace online where they post notes and powerpoints. ask for websites and further reading. ask for HELP.

study a lot, have fun a lot. i know every day is limited and you're going to be tired all the time. i know. i was there. ib was working us to the bone from the moment we went in to the very last exam. but on the weekends and after school, every now and then do something with your friends that isn't going through your math homework together. see a movie. get coffee, or boba, or tea, or whatever the hell y'all drink these days. go to a museum. find free activities. swim. talk to your friends outside of an academic environment and you will be closer and dearer. and you will not regret it.

you're allowed to disagree with your authority figures. so parents/guardians/teachers. don't overstep your boundaries but as you learn and grow there will be times that they are wrong and you are right. in many different situations... but most especially about you yourself, a person.

reach out. talk to someone when you're hurt. theres going to be a lot of new experiences in high school and some of them will be bad. please talk to your friends. your parents if you can. talk to a teacher you trust. sometimes school counselors suck but part of the job, regardless of if they are doing well or not, is listening to you, and it's meant to be confidential. and if you're worried about someone else for gods sake talk to an adult.

you are still a kid. please don't stress too much about matters that are bigger than you and things that are too much for you to control. you are almost an adult but you are not, you are grown up but you are not. do kid things. you don't need to be super strong, or super mature, or act ten years older than you are. you don't need to prove anything.

pursue your interests, and good things will follow. i mean this in every sense. your health. your mind. your attitude. your college applications. (seriously, everyone has done the volunteer hours and everyone has the grades and everyone has what you have. show that you're human.)

be awkward. be weird. there are so many different kinds of people but someone will be like you, and someone will like you. be happy, and others will see it.

don't put your burdens unnecessarily on other people. or yourself. here's the truth: if all you talk about is how bad you are, how you aren't getting anywhere in life, how the numbers aren't good enough, then no one will stick around for long. you will surround yourself in something bad that people don't want to be around. like mentioned, talk to someone. friends are the most comfortable but not always the most appropriate. im not saying to keep your thoughts to yourself, but adults > other emotional, struggling, hormonal teenagers in terms of being equipped to handle tough situations. people want to help! but when all you talk about is yourself and your trouble, and not listen to other people, talk about things that make you happy... you're going to lose something.

college is a big deal but also not. please don't worry about it until junior and senior year.

failure is inevitable. take it.

surround yourself with people who are better than you, and who you like, and who like you. surround yourself with people who you aspire to be similar to. you will do better and you will want to do better.

keep organized. good god. please do not be like that one guy in my math class. one day my classmate and i got so fed up we cleaned out his backpack for him and shoved things into folders and begged him to stay organized. folders. binders. accordian folders. just use something im pleading you. it's going to be 2 minutes before class and you realize you can't find your homework or turn in a wrinkled, stained paper. also keep some sort of schedule and task list or else you will be that guy that goes "wait we have a TEST today?"

halo effect. first impressions are important, even if you can overcome bad ones. show up on time. sit in the front even though it's scary, because midyear you'll realize you have been doing badly because you sat in the back and can't see or hear over the two girls who gossip in front of you. smile. say hello. ask questions. raise your hand. you can be wrong. you can be wrong. you can ask stupid questions.

ask your teachers if you can eat in class. my 4th period teacher (after lunch) was fine with us eating, so id take lunch to study sometimes and eat then. i always ate breakfast during 1st period bc when i got up it was too early for my body to take more than a little. most teachers are okay as long as the smell isn't strong and lasting, and you clean up. have a snack so you don't crash. don't forget to eat either. please eat lunch, and some teachers will give you snacks if you ask, and if you don't have money please just... ask someone for a share or to borrow some cash. it's okay. you need to eat.

there is so much more. school might be all you know. but stop and enjoy life. if you worry about college you're going to spend 4 years looking forward and not enough at the present, and you're going to lose your precious time. there is so much more.

you're going to change. a lot. you will be a completely different person. that's normal. you're gonna be a little embarrassed. like the person you become, and become a person you like. make good choices. be kind. have heart.

enjoy high school, kid. good luck!!! it was honestly a rewarding and wonderful time, and that was in part bc i made it so.

#advice #high school #asks

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yoong-seok · 6 years ago

Text

Ring, Ring

Pairing: yoongi x reader, romantic or platonic, up to you!

Genre: Fluff, comfort

Word Count: 1362

Warnings: This does bring up/deal with panic attacks and anxiety attacks.

A/N: Hi! I haven’t posted in a long time mainly bc I kept writing, editing, deleting, and so on. This took two months...and even now I’m not fully satisfied, but sometimes you just gotta let things GO. I’m thinking of having a lil mini-series? with each of the members. It’ll be called Ring, Ring! I hope you guys enjoy, and as always any critique is welcomed! (also im sorry if there are still some mistakes!) I want to also shout out to @versigny !!! I had asked her if I could use a line she had used in her fic bc I loved it so much and it tbh inspired this and she was sooooo nice and kind. Pls follow her (but u prob already do bc her writing is beautiful). I didn’t end up using it, but her kindness is just something I have to thank her for!

Within the expanse of your bed, you feel cold. As you lay curled up, head bowed down, legs brought up your stomach in a loose fetal position, your teeth chattering and your heart feeling lonely. Growing up, you had the comfort of your loved ones. From summer vacations with your cousins, piling on the beds, sharing blankets and jokes; to winter holidays, fitting too many onto a small loveseat as you opened any gifts and shared stories. You never once felt alone. The warmth and love had always washed over you, and you’ve grown so used to it.

But, now, you’re all alone. Far from your family with a new house in a new city, a new job, and a new life. It’s overwhelming. The emptiness of your house is suffocating. You take in each breath from your nose, the icy air stinging as it travels down to your lungs and back out again. Tomorrow, you were going to walk around and acquaint yourself with the new surroundings, but you don’t want to. You want to go back home. Back to warmth. Back to your family—their love and reassurance. Back to-

"Hello?" you hear. As you calm down, you notice you’re sitting against the bed frame, phone in hand. Briefly, you check the screen to see who’s on the other side of the phone.

"Yoongi," you try to breathe out, but the panic attack still hasn't left your lungs, so you barely choke out the 2 syllables.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?" his voice is gruff, laden with concern. You don’t even know what time it is, but the sky absorbs the aura of lights from the city. "Hey, it's okay. You’re at your new place, right? I'll be there in 5 minutes. Do you want me to stay on the line until I get there?" You shake your head and croak out no. "I'll see you soon."

You hang up and only then do you notice the time: 2 AM. He was sleeping, and you woke him up because you didn’t know how to be alone. How stupid. Your breathing became ragged. Hiccups falling between every few breaths. You wipe your tears harshly and quickly go to your call logs to call Yoongi back. Tell him he doesn't need to come over. You're sorry, you shouldn't have disturbed him, he has a full schedule tomorrow and he needs as much sleep as he can. Yet, as the ringing continues, you know that he’s already on his way.

You’ve known Yoongi for nearly half your life. The two of you had met in high school. As a lonely freshman, you walked around during lunch period, trying to find somewhere to eat. You decided to sit next to the music classroom. Finishing your sandwich, you heard someone playing the piano from inside the room. You peeked through the small window and saw the back of the blue suit from the school uniform. The soft notes of Fur Elise were playing before he stopped and began playing a piece that was unfamiliar to you. It sounded good. He was really good. The lunch bell rang and he turned, seeing you staring at him. You quickly threw your lunch in the trash and ran to class, feeling your face grow hot.

The next time you saw him was later that day when you were waiting for your mom to pick you up. You were staring at your phone and didn’t notice him walk next to you.

“You were outside the music room, right?” his low voice asked. You jumped slightly. Your ears grew warm as you recognized the face.

“Um...yeah. Sorry…” you mumbled. He said nothing for a moment, and you feared that he would make fun of you.

“Why were you sitting alone for lunch?” he asked. You looked up at him, but he kept his eyes forward.

“Oh, um, I’m a freshman. I don’t have friends, yet...” you answered him, slightly shocked that he was keeping a conversation with you. He paused again.

“Did you like it?” he asked in a softer tone. “Not Fur Elise...the other thing.”

“Oh yeah! I didn’t recognize it, but it was really good.”

“It was uh....” he sighed, “It was my own song. I’ve been working on it for a while.” Your eyes widened.

“No way! It was so good. It sounded beautiful! I don’t know much about music, but it was really pretty.” He finally looked down at you and you found yourself mesmerized by his brown eyes, and beautiful pale skin. And he let out a small smile. You found yourself smiling back at him.

“My name is Yoongi.” He sticks his hand out for you to shake.

“I’m ____.”

The doorbell rings through your apartment. You get up from bed and open the door.

He’s in sweats and a stained t-shirt that is likely from the laundry basket. A light black jacket covers his frame. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his black hair was sticking out in all directions. He walks inside, arms reaching out to a hug. The jacket and t-shirt have residual cologne, a musky scent with a mix of something you couldn't place...kimchi?

"Hey, I'm sorry. I was already driving when you called and it was on vibrate, I didn't hear it or see it until I got here," he says, the gruffness from earlier still lingering. “Are you okay?” Why is he apologizing? You’re the one who called him in the middle of the night, woke him up, made him worried enough to drive to your apartment. He has nothing to apologize for, you did.

“I’m okay. I’m sorry for worrying you and waking you up, I bet you have work tomorrow,” you mumble into his shirt, the sound of your voice muffled.

“Psshh, no. I was already up,” he says. You give him a knowing look. He tries to keep a straight face but gives up after your continued glare. “Okay, so I was sleeping, but don’t be sorry. I’m glad you called me.” You groan lightly into his shirt and mumble out another apology. "Let's go to bed," his voice barely reaches your ears. You nod noticing your lack of energy. You lay down and he sits against the headboard. He's being so kind and patient, not forcing you to say anything or asking any questions. It reminds you of how nurturing he is. You don't deserve him.

"I just got so overwhelmed," your voice is soft, yet the cracks from the panic attack are still reminiscent. You stare at the ceiling. He hums. You turn and face him. Instinctively, you burrow into his chest. Yoongi lightly wraps his arms around you before speaking,

"Do you want to talk about it?" You deeply breathe in his hearty scent again. Your eyes flutter shut. Home.

“I’m just so alone," you begin to ramble. "I always had friends or family with me, but now, I’m by myself and I don’t know anyone here, and I’m so scared to go out and have to experience everything all alone. It’s too much for me.”

Yoongi is silent.

"I know you don’t want to hear me say that you’re not alone…I hated it when everyone said it to me…” You realize he probably went through a similar experience when he first moved to Seoul so many years ago. “Everything feels so scary. And it seems like you’ll never fit in.

“But, you’ll make friends. You’ll meet people. You think you’ll feel lonely forever, but I promise it won’t.” He lifts your head. The deep coffee of his eyes stare into your soul. You feel vulnerable. You feel naked. "And you have me and the boys. You can always call us.” He smiles, looking into your eyes. Feeling the original comfort of warmth, love, and reassurance, you smile back.

You don't know how to respond or what to say. Yoongi brushes his lips against your hair and you grip onto him. The change wouldn't happen overnight. Not much will change over the next few weeks. But, you feel safe knowing that Yoongi is by your side for the unknown future.

#yoongi x reader #bts x reader #bts scenario #yoongi scenario #suga x reader #suga scenario

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utopianvoices · 7 years ago

Text

love languages | stray kids

↭ a/n: this is based purely on my opinion and perspective of them!!

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

chan

from what we see every vlive

his top love language will be physical touch

he’ll come back from a long day at the studio or from practice

and he’ll just collapse on you

in need for cuddles

and just physical contact in general

whatever you and him do, there will be SOME physical contact

brushing of hands, holding hands, his hand on your back, small pecks in between conversations, linking of pinkies ((this actually makes me so soft asdkfjaskf))

you name it and it’ll be there tbh

that being said, however, he’ll really respect your space

so one word from you and he’ll be on the other side of the room

but you won’t miss the pouty lips he was sporting

but also lets be real who doesn’t want to cuddle him

we know he’s a great cook

but loves it so much when you cook for him

because then he can back hug you and be that cute couple everybody cringes at but also secretly wishes that they also had that

loves winters only because he gets to cuddle you all night long without getting sweaty and shit

also strikes me as the person who loves eskimo kisses asdlfgska; someone stop me im gonna combust from all this fluff

just give this boy all the love in the world asdfkdsjagl ;-;

woojin

oK this boy is cuddle king #2

its already established that he’s a cuddly bear

but i feel like he’s more of a words of affirmation type of person

he’s cuddly in the sense that he’ll be all up for cuddles and physical affection

but wouldn’t be as needy for it as chan

simple words can make his day

whether you say you love him

or just things to compliment him in general

because he can get insecure sometimes

thinking that those around him are better and that he’s just not good enough to be doing what he’s doing

so your words to comfort and assure him would mean a lot to him

a “you’re doing great”

or “that sounded amazing” when he just sang something

can 180 flip his day around SaKDa DwIJIbONa eY yO

someone take the internet away from me

like he could be having the most tiring day with nonstop practising and what not

but the moment you say these things

he just grins like the cheshire cat and collects you in a hug

thats uwujin for you

minho (lee know)

this bOi

oh snap

physical touch for days

okay he is soft yeS

buT

HE IS ALSO

not soft

did you see that miguk chum (american/western dance) on asc

minhoe be going all out

bUT FOR THE SAKE OF MY HEART ILL KEEP THIS AS SOFT AS I CAN

okay hear me out on this but he just seems like a tease yknow its like how he teases the members with food :’’)

like on normal days all he wants is to hug you but seeing you flustered is wayyy more amusing

so this is just him being a piece of shit when he teases you to no ends

like if you want to hug him he’ll just run away from you

or if you want to kiss him he’s gonna tiptoe so that you cant reach him

and then when you’re done asf with him and walk away

he’s gonna swoop in and just smother you with love and affection

but i see him being a real softie whenever he’s tired

will be pretty whiny and clingy when all he wants to do it sleep

and you’re not gonna have the heart to tease him for all the times he did it to you

because he looks too tired and cute

so you’ll let him do what he wants without denying him of your attention

and he’s just gonna cuddle up to you and will probs be the little spoon ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

changbin

okay now we have the darkest member of sk

but also the aegyo king

this duality

smh

but yes getting onto business

i see him really valuing acts of services

if you see him struggling with something

a simple “can i help” or “is there something i can do” will make his heart go boom boom

because although he knows you can’t really help when he’s stuck with composing or writing

the fact that you thought about him and are willingly asking to help will warm his heart

also loves it when you help him clean up or cook for him

although he feels really bad for making you do it

but deep down he’s just loving it

like all he’d want to do is go home and sleep but thinking about the mess in his room and his grumbling stomach will overpower any thoughts of sleep

when he reaches home, tho, his room is clean and there’s some tasty ass food on the table

and these are the times he just goes asdfldksjf and attacks you with all the hugs and kisses

but this doesn’t mean he takes advantage of you oh no

when you’re having a busy day and he’s at home

you’re gonna come home to a clean ass house, some takeout food and the smell of smoke coming from the kitchen

he tried his best to cook but clearly didn’t succeed

hyunjin

okay this was surprisingly the most difficult to write

because hyunjin is still a mystery

one moment he’s chic

and the next he’s goofing around with the members

so i think with him it will really depend on the time of the day and his general mood

but mostly he will really value quality time with you

but physical touch will also play an important role in the relationship

rmb when he said that he loves woojin because woojin doesn’t reject his cuddles

my point proven ladies and gentlemen

he will always be touching you one way or another when ya’ll are together

because this boy just can’t get enough of you

loves it when you feed him because he is a sOft boi

his favourite is when you sit on the counter while feeding him and he just stands in between your legs

because then he can see you eye to eye

and just admire you

is the type to interrupt you in a conversation by giving you small pecks

because why not

but at the same time while these cutesy things happen

talking about yourselves will play a very important role to him

because then he will trust you more and open up more and more

which is the most important thing for a lasting relationship

so for this boy, quality time and physical touch will have to go hand in hand

can i get a hwang hyunjin for myself (ಥ﹏ಥ)

jisung (han)

this squirrel

will looooooooove receiving gifts

not that it’s a necessity for him

like even if you don’t buy the gifts it’s fine

but it’s the thought behind the gift that gets him all feeling squishy and cheesy and all that mush

going back to my point of not buying the gift

he loves handmade gifts more than anything

even a simple message on a torn piece of post-it that has lost its stickiness will mean the world to him

especially when he hasn’t seen you in a long time

he will feel bad if you buy him expensive gifts all the time

because he feels like he should be the one spoiling you

but even if you buy him a rock and told him it reminded you of him

you best bet he’s going to worship that rock to the ends of the world

that’s just the kind of softie he is

loves it when you leave small letters around the house for him to find

the thrill of finding a letter that you put your thought into drives him crazy

will keep every single thing you give him in a memory box and will actually lock it because he doesn’t want the members ruining it

not because he doesn’t want them to know about it

because trust me the moment you give him something he’s gonna be screaming about it for the next few days to the rest of stray kids

and they’re gonna call you crying asking you to shut him up

felix

this soft bub here deserves all the love in the world

all of them do

but like this boy strikes me as the type who just needs words of affirmation

like you know how he was beaming when jyp complimented him during the final mission on his korean

yes exactly

that’s how happy he gets

i feel like he will constantly need someone to remind him that he deserves everything he has and more

ofc he doesn’t expect you to be praising him non stop

but he appreciates constructive criticism more than just blatant rejection like how jyp did him dirty in ep 8

anyways

telling him that “it was really good but this part could’ve been better” and actually helping him get better will mean a lot to him

which also leads me to think that quality time will also be one of his top love languages

anyone who is willing to hype him up when he’s at his best but also spend time with him when he needs improving is someone he will appreciate for the rest of his life

also loves it when you send him soft messages at ass o’clock because he’ll wake up to your messages

and it’ll immediately make his day so much better

even if he has 10000 schedules that day

pls love him

seungmin

seungmin strikes me as the type to be really practical about life

and just about the outlook of things

so any acts of service will be enough to get him going asdlfjksaksdljf

because i feel like he is the type to believe “actions speak louder than words”

so if you want to express your love for him, he would appreciate gestures that show your love rather than just you saying that you love him

he’ll never get tired of you asking him if he has eaten or if he has gotten to his destination safely

because to him it shows that you love and care for him that you are willing to ask him these things

also like changbin, will love it if you help him out with his work

he doesn’t expect you to help him but will be extra extra grateful if you were to help him

especially when he doesn’t ask you to

like if he has a habit of leaving some things around and then forgetting where he put them

and you make an effort to remember this and maybe help him create a space where he can leave these things

this is the shit he signs up for

this shit right here

so if you wanna make your way into this squishy left cheeked boy’s heart, empty words are a no no

stop sleeping on this amazing snail tyvm this has been a psa

jeongin (i.n)

this busan baby that’s killing everyone

it’s busan’s water i tell you

anyhoo

jeongin is still at an age where i think the maturity in terms of relationships really hasn’t kicked in

because they’ve been practising for debut and stuff which makes me think he hasn’t had time to really experience the world of romance

so i think he will really love receiving gifts

bcs he’s a baby

and which baby doesn’t like gifts

but also at the same time

i think he is someone who likes spending quality time > gifts

you know when you’re at that age where all you wanna do is be with your s/o all the time

yep that’s him

he wants to talk to you about his day, his worries, his dreams, this dog he saw on the road and just basically anything

as long as you’re willing to share everything that happens with you as well

because you naturally form a deeper bond when you share these things

so after a day at practice he’ll come home and join you in front of the tv

but no one’s gonna be watching that shit

ya’ll will just talk about your day and everything that happened while the sound of the tv just serves as background music for your deep talks

also loves loves spending time singing karaoke with you

even if you sound like a dying whale

totally serenades you with trot songs

and it works

because how can you resist this cutie with his braces

∞ end ∞

#district9net #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids headcanons #bang chan #lee minho #lee know #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #han #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #i.n #dee scribbles

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my-autistic-things · 6 years ago

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