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nihilxes · 19 days

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Hey, so since people feel the need to bring private things out into the public... It's my turn to do that too because I've had enough. Over these past couple of years alone I've dealt with a lot and I'm sick and tired of it. I don't want anyone to hurt me anymore.

So let's get things started--

The person that was behind the stopsmearingshadowtoons (now deleted) blog was none other than Jesta aka @jestamusingisback. How do I know this? Because not only did others call her out on it but it wasn't until Toons told them to delete, saying I'm living my life and so he is (me) that they listened and deleted the blog. Ideally, the blog shouldn't have ever been made because I didn't even do anything. All I did was simply unfollow Jesta from Tumblr and Twitter because she was being a bad friend by basically ignoring me despite my attempts to try to talk to her, especially when she was leaving concerning messages on my server, saying how she wanted to overdose on her medications so she could just sleep her problems away. This had nothing to do with Toons at all. Similarly, I unfollowed some other people as well but again, the reason for this had nothing to do with Toons. I unfollowed them for personal reasons and that's that.

This isn't the first time that just because I simply unfollowed Jesta she got upset about it. Before I had unfollowed her because she was failing to tag Toon's URL for me, which she said she would because she knew how uncomfortable I was seeing Toon's name pop up everywhere, and for good reason. When I unfollowed her, she proceeded to block me everywhere and started to send harassing messages not only to me but to some of my friends as well. She would temporarily unblock me just to send me a screenshot and then would block me again. Here are some of the things she sent me:

Not only was she stalking and harassing me but like I said, she was doing so to some of my friends too by misinterpreting what some of them were saying and thinking they were talking about her and Toons, which none of them were.

I sent this screenshot to Toons and told her to basically stop harassing me and my friends and making up lies that I was sending people to stalk and harass her when again, I never did. I would vent to my friends about what had happened between us but never told anyone to go and bother Toons. What they did with that information was entirely on them because I told them to just leave Toons alone so me stalking her wasn't even a thing. I had her blocked everywhere so how could I even stalk her? She was basically playing the victim and trying to gain sympathy but because of her lies, I got blocked by some other people, none of who I know but either way like I said they were spreading lies about me and yet somehow this is fair?

Eventually, me and Jesta talked things out on Xbox:

After that, things were fine and we didn't have any issues. As long as Toon's URL was tagged for me, I was fine and I hadn't thought about Toons in a long time until recent events. I unfollowed Jesta this time because, like I said, I felt she was being a bad friend to me. Admittedly I probably should have sat down with her and talked things out but she was barely talking to me during that time so I wasn't sure if I would be just wasting my time or annoying her.

Lastly, let's address some things in her recent Rules/About post. Not only does she have me on her DNI list but again, she's lying about everything. I never got mad at Toons or her for leaving the fandom because hello, I left too after all the bullying, stalking, and death-threats I was getting:

I don't even know what Jevil and Spinel ship you're talking about... so that one is just a baseless lie. I never got jealous whenever you would make new friends or form ships with them. The only thing I worried about was being too annoying with our ship or that you were getting bored of our ship, but I never got jealous.

Like I said, I've dealt with a lot in just these last few years alone and I just don't want to deal with these things anymore. I'm tired of all the lies and deceit. I'm tired of being paranoid about every single person I talk to because I just keep thinking they're going to hurt me in some shape or form. I'm always on high-alert because I don't know who to trust. I can't trust theirs words because it's things I've heard before by people that ended up hurting me in the end.

So... That's it. I've just had enough.

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bisexualchrissycunningham · 1 year

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hellcheer for the ship asks!!! 💗

SO glad you asked, buddy! As usual, I have so much to say lol.

when I started shipping it if I did: The forest scene of course!!! It changed lives. Her quick death was a punch to the gut though and it took until I finished Volume 1 and was on Tumblr looking through tags that I started thinking more deeply about them. I joined a discord server a few weeks later and the hyperfixation was in full effect.

my thoughts: They’re soulmates and that’s that.

what makes me happy about them: I don't know how to word this in the way I want to, cause I don't want it to be a "they complete each other" thing BUT they each have these personality traits and skills that the other lacks and it's just so complementary of them, you know? She's quiet and reserved and sad but stubbornly hopeful and optimistic about people, while Eddie is boisterous and feeds off attention and is cynical about the world yet softened so immediately in Chrissy's presence. They give each other things they need but could never find before they found each other.

what makes me sad about them: They're canonically dead. Eddie could never save her in the way he wished he could. They never got to do ketamine together and kiss a lil.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: I'm always nervous to answer questions like this, but here is one of my big secrets: I hate when Eddie calls Chrissy Chris. I have such a firm headcanon that Eddie knew it's what Jason called her, and he specifically avoided it because of that. His reasons are twofold: cause he connects the nickname with the way Chrissy always shrunk herself in Jason's presence, and cause of some inner neanderthal instinct that makes him wanna avoid anything to do with the love of his life's ex. It's inevitable that the first time he calls her that in any fic, in my head, I hear it in Jason's voice from the time he said in on the show and it always takes me out of the fic. It's not something that will make me stop reading at all, but it's definitely a mental block where I actually have to work to imagine it the way it's intended.

things I look for in fanfic:

Fastburn! I can do slowburn of course, but my idea of Hellcheer is that they fall so fast and so deep that it's what makes the most sense.

Chrissy developing strong female friendships in the background is super important to me.

In future fics, Eddie being super content and fulfilled having a normal non-rock star life in my absolute jam.

Super emotionally charged character-driven sex.

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: No one else. I can play around with Chrissy having a few other relationships with Kali, Eden or Robin, and Eddie having a lil thing with Jonathan when they were younger, but I don’t believe either of them could or would ever love anyone like they do each other, and they would never be fulfilled in a relationship with anyone else.

my happily ever after for them: There are so many potential happily ever afters for them! Honestly, anything that involves Chrissy healing and finding herself, Eddie making peace with the chip on his shoulder and finding a way to feel like he's enough just as he is, and them having many years to know and love each other.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Just due to their literal bodies, Chrissy is usually the little spoon, but she loves switching it up and holding him in her lap. It comforts them both.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Playing music & writing songs together after Chrissy has learned to play guitar. Talking in bed when they're both falling asleep but they've been too busy to connect very much lately so they're both trying hard to stay awake and give themselves a moment together. Eddie loves cooking for Chrissy (she likes giving him kisses while he's doing it). Making up outrageous life stories about strangers they see in public. Chrissy loves pranking Eddie cause he never sees it coming. I know this was supposed to be just 1 favorite activity but they love doing ALL the things together, ok????

#hellcheer #eddie x chrissy #i miss them :(#thanks for the ask!!!#blondiest #answered

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clood · 11 months

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @storybookprincess, @hxhhasmysoul, and @subdee—given the triple tag by such lovely folks i can't just not xD

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

211,669

3. What fandoms do you write for?

so far i have only written for hunter x hunter, even though i haven't written and posted much for it (or anything) this year. i am soooo close to catching up with one piece and i want to write zosan and shuggy and when i do it's over for everyone. it's been the only other thing in a long time that has tempted me to write fanfiction!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

similarly to subdee, most of my top kudos-ed fics are some of the very first things i wrote for the hxh fandom and the fics i am most known for still xD

however, similarly to liv, i don't love looking at my stats by kudos lmao. instead i shall list my current 5 favorites, regardless of their kudos standing heehee

housewarming: leorio and kurapika have planned a small dinner with their friends to christen their new home, though it does not go exactly as planned. aka the only happy leopika i have written to date xD including any and all wips

until death: after finding the nostrade boss dead, kurapika must make a decision that could change the course of his life, and, perhaps, someone else's. this is a criminally underrated fic, in my not so humble opinion!!!

just a little fun: leorio finds himself drawn to a stranger at a club and ends up with just a little more than he's bargained for. I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS ONE LOL

where are you roaming?: Gon has been sent by his father, the illustrious ghost hunter Ging Freecss, to investigate the Zoldyck Manor and its many instances of poltergeist activity. What he finds is nothing at all like the stories he's heard. this one is always always always going to be a favorite, i love it so much

night watchman: Gon has nightmares and Killua saves him from them. (aka five times Killua was there to save Gon from himself and one time he wasn't) a Clood Classic (TM) that will always have a special place in my heart. she's dramatic. she's second person. she's one of the first ones i ever wrote

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

oh god i try to. basically i will be staring at my inbox for a week after i post something so i can reply right away, but then comments on fics i haven't recently posted remain as unread emails so that the notification haunts me. i have some i need to respond to now.. actually..

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

by far it has to be until death. that whole fic is angst city usa and the ending is no exception xD

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmm a lot if not most of my fics have a happy ending... i vote housewarming for sappiest, arms unfolding for most classically romantic, and long lost for most heartwarming.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

if anyone does hate on me, they do it in the private confines of their discord chats, and this is how i would prefer it to stay. closest i've gotten i think is once someone was annoyed that i probably wasn't going to make gon and ghost-killua get it on and then i guess they got embarrassed that i replied to that comment and they deleted it hajdkshajdhak

9. Do you write smut?

i have written precisely one smut fic: hands on a clock, hands on your hips. i was so embarrassed about it i published it anon originally then decided that was stupid and un-anoned it. however i will be writing buggy/shanks smut soon because detachable hands has me thinking all sorts of thoughts.

10. Do you write crossovers?

crossovers are not really my thing, never have been!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nah, i am not famous (tm)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but i think i would cry if i did!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i actually have—as part of a greed island server event! spirit astray, september leaves, havoc in the hot springs, and hacker say what were written with kessya, shal, and hanamii as part of a 4-person fic exchange event :)

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

the nostalgia for my 2021 killugon days is screaming that the only answer is killugon...

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

the only wip that's live on ao3 is chip aisle, which i think someday maybe i could be persuaded to finish. i was on an idol au kick when i started it and it was originally just gonna be a oneshot, but then another greed island card led to another couple chapters.. maybe someday.

16. What are your writing strengths?

unsure if this is a strength but i can write some fat ass sentences. and nice chunky paragraphs every now and then. i like to focus on the little details in a scene too, which i think is fun.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i suck at planning ahead and outlining. i feel like i end up patching a lot of plot holes because of it lol. i also feel like i can be repetitive and long-winded sometimes

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i'm on the fence about it, honestly. it has situations where it could fit, but i don't think i have encountered one yet in my own writing where it didn't feel awkward or forced to have it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

DELTORA QUEST ON FANFICTION DOT NET BABEY!!!!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

i think where are you roaming? is my all-time favorite. i just love it so much, i think i did a good job with the world/situaion-building even though there are definitely some of those plothole patches i mentioned earlier.

i believe i'm supposed to tag 20 people but i am simply not capable of sending a notification to 20 people's inboxes so... @extratt413, @chubsthehamster, @shalnarkonice, @fireolin, anyone who used a blue mug today to drink their coffee, and anyone else who wants to do this you can say i tagged you!!

#clood speaks #tag game #loving the shameless self promo here by tagging every fic the first time i mentioned it dhjsagjak

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scarfacemarston · 1 year

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Abigail Marston HC’s Part 1

I’ll slowly be posting my roleplaying questions I used to do in rp server. I have probably 100+ questions that I did. It was a good time and I’d love people to ask more! I will put all of these under the #askabigail tag. : D Trigger warning for this set: canon child loss. 1.What did they think their life was going to look like? Abigail wanted to be a singer or an actress. She thought she could have snagged a handsome wealthy person pretty easily, but she'd actually prefer true love. (and if the person's wealthy, even better.) She always hope she’d travel around the U.S. Sure, she would have loved exploring outside of the U.S., but Abigail knew that a girl like her would probably never be able to travel like that. 2. What skill would they like to learn? I think we know the answer if we follow canon. She wishes she could cook because she loves gatherings with family and friends, but that pales in comparison with her desire to read. She’s embarrassed and ashamed that she hasn’t been able to. She simply never picked up more than a few words and she never understood why. Books would have been a great chance for her to explore other worlds and more importantly, learn. 3. What does your character think of children? We know about Jack, so I’ll write about the Marston daughter. John had to beg and plead. She didn’t want to go through it because of how risky it was, especially since they were older. But then she thought about how nice it would be to start over, dress her up and decorate the room. Plus. Seeing John with baby fever was something else. I head canon that she loved her daughter, but she wasn’t as close as John was to her. I HC she had post partum depression both times. There never has to be a reason, but she was essentially alone the first time, and the second time, she was similarly lonely with no one but Uncle, Jack and John, but she was thankful to have them. Still, depression doesn’t care about circumstances. She was devastated when their daughter died, but I think she would have had to stay strong for the rest of the family, especially since she saw her fellow sex workers deal with the loss of children. 4. How do they sleep? What is their relationship with sleep? She loves to sleep on her side, preferably spooning her partner. We see this in Rdr. : ) Abigail never had a true home to herself, but her father rented a small room for them in a hard part of town. Her mother died giving birth to her, so it was only she and her father Henry. She was raised to ignore the noises around them - the shouting, the banging, the knocking, the laughing, etc. She was terrified to live in the orphanage. It changed depending on who was in charge. When she arrived, it was chaotic, loud and unclean until the church ladies took over. Then, it was silence, but the strictness of the nuns terrified her and she slept worse with them. Later on, sleep as a sex worker was also difficult. She had to work in shifts at all hours of the day or night and she had a roommate until she was able to acquire her own shabby room. It was the same noise she was always used to with except with added moaning. She slept the best she ever had when she arrived in camp with Uncle. It was literally a breath of fresh air and despite sleeping outside, she felt “clean” for the first time. She loved the stars and the night air --- and later sleeping near John. When she became pregnant? Forget sleep. After Jack’s birth? The same. When we see her in the game? Forget sleep - but she did try a little harder since we see she goes to bed early, but is one of the earliest to rise. Being on the run after the gang fell was similarly difficult, but she enjoyed Pronghorn ranch --- when she wasn’t worried about John. Beecher’s Hope - She slept moderately well when John was home, but still worried about if they would have enough to eat or if they would lose any more cattle - but it was still the best sleep she had in years, even with the Marston baby. I hc this was months before RDR 1. She never slept as well ever again before her passing. 5. What is your character’s relationship with their parents? Abigail never knew her mother Adelle as she passed giving birth to her in canon and abandoned her family in the modern au. Her father was a kindly wood worker who died when she was around eight. Her family was always destitute due to her father’s unfortunate luck with repaying loans. They were poor in money, but rich in love. Abigail had to fend for herself during the day as her father worked himself to the bone. Abigail was always musically gifted Her father provided for her the best he could and taught her a few basics of music, but he passed when she was seven This is when she was sent to the orphanage / placed in the foster care program in the modern au.

#rdr 2 #abigail marston #abigail roberts #john marston #jack marston #red dead redemption 2 #van der linde gang #askabigail

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russilton · 2 years

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I’m curious about how you and Kimy met each other & got together, and who started shipping 4463 first? Just interested in hearing this kinda story and you can totally ignore me if you don’t want to answer. Hope you both have a nice weekend 😁

God no I love answering this question!

(Edit: while answering this question you caused me irreparable damage as I realised for the first time that abu dahbi 21 was the direct cause of me and kimy being on the call where I realised she liked me, and then I asked her out. I will never recover.)

Kimy (aka @thatsmemate ) and I met in 2017, technically twice, first in a shared discord server where we didn’t even realise we’d talked till years later, and the second time via tumblr

We both used to ship a fairly popular marvel ship (and still do, just less actively) that will go unnamed for the sake of plausible deniability, but anyone who wants to try hard enough can probably find my other blog lmao. I started making art for said ship in early 2017, and Kimy, without fail, left the BEST tags on my posts.

Not kidding, that’s genuinely how first connected, she used to leave the sweetest, kindest tags for me, that always made me feel like I was actually posting good work. And because they were always so good, I’d look forward to seeing her name in my notifs. Eventually I followed her back, because despite me being awkward as hell, it seemed like everyone I followed knew her (she will deny this, but it’s what I remember thinking, so it’s true), and thus, I wanted to know her. Eventually we started talking, then DMing, I wrote my first ever fic right into her tumblr DMs and by the end of that year we we’re insufferably inseparable.

We didn’t get together till December 2021 though, because in a fanfiction style twist, she ended been pining for 3 of those 5 years, and thought I knew. Anon, I did not know, because I am thick skulled and cannot read social hints.

Why December 21? Well Kimy decided to finally let me show her the hit Netflix documentary tiger king. Yes, THAT tiger king. Why? I shit you not I think it was genuinely because I was angry and upset about AD 21 happening THE DAY PRIOR and she was comforting me. A fact I had genuinely blocked out until writing this LMAO.

A combination of the trauma of AD combined with the best thing in my life happening means I assume my brain decided to separate the two. Anyway, she was pining, and I wasn’t. Not because I didn’t like her, but because I had no idea that was an option. My brain functioned under the assumption she couldn’t like me. Sky is blue, 1+1=2, she could never be attracted to me. At least it did until I made a STUPID joke about the first husband in tiger king. The one that got gay married for meth.

It went something along the lines of “my meth would be a partner who let me be a stay at home dad because I want to provide home care for my family” I know I’m so smart. She replied with saying she wouldn’t mind something like that because she hated having to do things after she got home and actually enjoyed work. I say “hahah maybe you should marry me for a green card, it might actually work out”.

I know. She was pining sadly, but the dusty cogs in my brain finally started working. And flirting. For the rest of the call I kept making jokes about soulmates and “that’s why you should marry me” as we discussed what we want out of our partners.

Call ends, she pines, I FINALLY go “oh shit, I think that was a Jk unless hint…” then spent a night thinking on it, before asking her out the following day. She said yes ❤️.

As you can tell from that story, I was very invested in F1 long before we got together, but I wasn’t shipping 4463 at that point yet. I was the one to pick it up first though. I even found 4463 works THROUGH a conversation with her! I caught a massive throbbing man crush on George (I had one on Lewis already but the George one was a lot less awe and a lot more nsfw) told her about it, and she kept encouraging me. Then after Spain I sent her a gif of Bono and Lewis looking gay, it lead to a convo about fanfiction, and I, long used to ao3, went looking…

I spent a few weeks getting neck deep in gewis, and I slowly started sending her things, because there’s not a thing on this earth I DONT share with her —She could blackmail me very effectively— and because she is the best person to ever live she got right into it with me, even after watching me have an angry betrayed ranting fit about certain fics that won’t be named BUT KNOW WHO THEY ARE.

By austria we started watching quali together on our date nights as she let me explain f1 to her. That’s why her favourite drivers are my favourite drivers, because I am a dreadful biased influence. Its the best thing on earth to share this with her. Because she is the best thing on my earth.

#asks #anonymous #personal #kimy’s tag #mark rambles

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transhawks · 2 years

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alright so dabihawks (attempted murder) is a fine ship to you but spinner being devoted to shigaraki is where you draw the line? oooookay.

Tagging this as mature because it's very personal and I would rather people be careful about reading it.

Bro, I literally said I was one of the first in the western fandom talking about this ship. One of the first to write about it too and I gots the receipts.

But I also did that years ago when I wasn't diagnosed with a disorder that makes me act a lot like a cross between Spinner and Toga with a heavy side of Keigo syle manipulation. It's fucking scary to start seeing unhealthy patterns like that in what people think good romance is because I think it led me to not realizing something was extremely wrong with me and my attachment to other people.

Praising Spinner's shift of loyalty and purpose to be around achieving Shigaraki's dream really cemented something in my mind at the time - and I don't know if any of you remember me in 2018-2019 and early 2020, but I was clearly obsessed with someone on here and it was hurting us both.

Like I said, I don't think it's problematic for someone to ship it, I just am wary of romanticizing relationships where a person completely changes an identity for a person after reflecting on why that appealed to me in the first place. If you don't get why that's a scary thing, I'm happy for you. No, really. I hope you never have to be on the receiving end of that sort of affection in real life. But given it's common for therapists to refuse to treat borderlines, you can stand to think a bit more why I'd be uncomfortable outright.

Also you missed the mark with Dabihawks. I created the Jinkei/Twicehawks server, remember? Though in that case I never ever see the awful things Hawks does romanticized and there's a very clear moral judgment that manipulation is bad actually, which is why it feels healthier because, at least in the jinkei fandom I cultivated in my server, we all have consensus on the shortcomings. Bad habits are treated as bad, where the devotion to the point of self sacrifice that I see Spinner get written is rarely acknowledged as harmful.

Anyway this is the last ask I am taking on this. I don't like making ship wars. I just explained that there's aspects of fanon spinner that take canon Spinner's fatal flaws (his lack of believing in himself as worthy of love and being a person on his own merits) and turn it up to eleven for the purposes of shipping and why I dislike that. Please respect that I changed my mind on the ship due to my own struggle to fight my mental illness and that's it.

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jonghyuns-husband · 2 years

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I wanted to make this for a while, but I was super busy with stuff. So here’s a interview about @jjongolese I want everyone (that knows him) to do so then everyone who doesn’t know him can read about the nice things about him so they don’t dare to block or unfriend him without giving him a chance.

Give a little description about Jjongolese/Bruce.

How did you meet him?

Why did you stay friends with him?

Do you think Jjongolese/Bruce was misunderstood and treated unfairly? (In regards of the cyber bullying)

What do you want others who may not know Jjongolese/Bruce to know about him?

Finally, tell me why you should never judge a book by its cover and why it’s important to follow this rule.

Give a little description about Jjongolese/Bruce.

Bruce is a sweet guy that would do anything for people he loves. For proof, he once gave me a doll that looked like Jonghyun and a SHINee album for my birthday, even though I told him that I didn’t need anything, but he kept insisting that I should have it. He’s super affectionate, clingy and a funny person to be around.

How did you meet him?

I became friends with Bruce in December of 2021 after one of my friend @theokangkk told me to because he was getting upset that he was getting banned or bullied in discord servers. Since he was also getting back into SHINee just to find friends, this was why he told me in particular because I’ve been a Shawol for many years.

Why did you stay friends with him?

Like I said, he’s sweet, funny and a great friend. Plus, he really wanted a friend since he never really had one growing up, so I offered in and I don’t regret it one bit. He’s super loyal and would always be there for someone.

Do you think Jjongolese/Bruce was misunderstood and treated unfairly? (In regards of the cyber bullying)

Yes. I think due to the fact that he had never really had any friends, he may act slightly awkward in social situations or say things he shouldn’t say simply due to the fact that he doesn’t have anyone to talk about those things to, I think this was all a misunderstanding in their part and the fact that he was treated unfairly lead to his mental health issues getting worse. A lot of people even think that him not being mentally stable 24/7 is him being disrespectful or rebelling when really, he’s literally just calling for help.

What do you want others who may not know Jjongolese/Bruce to know about him?

He’s really a good friend. I can’t stress you enough that this guy is different from everyone else I’ve met. He’s super passionate with his interests and loves to learn about others’ too. He’s open to talk about almost anything and I think if you gave him a chance, he will be a fun person to talk to. He may be a little bit closed at first, but once you open him up you should be happy and glad you did because he doesn’t just do it for everyone, but only the people that makes him feel safe, loved and heard.

Finally, tell me why you should never judge a book by its cover and why it’s important to follow this rule.

It’s common knowledge that you should always follow this rule, but I feel like people don’t either because of his age, how long he has been a Shawol, or even the way he interacts. He may had lied about his life, but once you learn that, it should all make sense. But either way, I don’t feel like you should judge him without getting to know him. He’s the most loving person you’ll ever meet and I doubt that you’ll have a bad interaction with him.

Please be @jjongolese’s friend and thank you so much for reading this post!

I’m tagging @nihaojj @taeminsspermies @tremendousmasculinity @theokangkk @taeminspussylips @taeminscheesetouch @dubulgeandtaebooty @rensneko @lucaskiyoshi @luvkumi @jizzlingkey @jjongdaleroad @minatahoto and everyone else i’ve missed out that knows him either personally or online. Either way, I think this is the best way to get people to learn more about him without judging him.

#boost #please be moots with my friend #happy jjongolese day #kpop moots #moots #kpop #shawol #blinger #stay #stray kids #nct #nctzen

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thewomaninlilywhite · 2 years

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Love looking back at my life and being like "I was always the friend no one wanted in the group"* and like I think that's why I'm like the only 24yo who doesn't have a group of friends. And like it's so exhausting to have to make individual plans with one person at a time who lives minimum an hour away every so often and so I just cut off all my friends because it's all so overwhelming

*in elementary school my friend group all read the Clique books and we were all assigned (by our self-proclaimed Massie) characters... I was Strawberry, the social reject that everyone hates in the series

In middle school my friend group wrote show scripts (the girl whose house wed congregate at had a recording studio in her basement because her dad was a music producer) in one I was the annoying buzzkill teacher who had to put up with the antics of the rest of the group, in the other I was the overly-perky character who all the other characters would constantly shut down

In high school I was never invited to anything. I was "accidentally" left out of group chats with some of my "best friends" and my "squad" would lie about hanging out together without me. I always had to force my way into social situations, I would ask to join, they'd hesitate to say yes, never acknowledge me when I'd try to initiate conversation, and make me feel unwelcome wherever we went.

In college, my friend group made a new group chat without me and one other girl in it. The other girl was the Ex of one of the Hot Shots of the group, so, though a stupid reason, I get why they wanted her out. I don't know why they kicked me out.

Same person who made the new group chat kicked me off the dance team junior year because I brought "negative energy" to practice... I was severely depressed, putting up with my grandma dying, a very toxically abusive professor, and being a Voice major with Laryngitis during FINALS all at once... I tried to commit suicide twice in the days after I was kicked off because of an issue I was having with the professor and I no longer had my one healthy coping mechanism

The Matilda fandom was the one place I felt loved and accepted, but we eventually all grew apart 💕💕

Then I felt that way in the Byler fandom... until the discord I was in turned into college 2.0 (because I'm pretty sure there's another discord with like everyone from the other server but me in it) and whenever I would say something or try to make conversation or make a joke or something people would like pity respond. I'd never get the hype or reactions that other people got. And like it's probably just a coincidence that the dnd server that seemed to be super active died basically at the time I joined... when all of my "friends" had been in it since like the beginning. And now it feels like it's too late. They've all become popular and I don't want to force myself into somewhere I don't belong but I just want to know why. What happened. Why did I get left in the dust? Why is it always me who gets left in the dust ??? It seems like this past summer when the tag was taking off was the time to establish friendships. That's what happened with Matilda. But unlike then, no one wanted to keep those friendships with me, I guess and now it's like too late to make friends

The universe just really doesn't want me living my life huh

It's not like anyone ever takes notice when I go a while without posting

#if you read this whole thing I'm sorry that you follow me you're probably too cool to be on my blog 😭😭😭#I should be asleep #I'm not spiraling just thinking I swear

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dddemigirl · 3 months

Text

👄 VENT-ERAN TAG 👄

a tag meme about your time on the Vent app made by PIKO !!

════════════════

✹ Did anyone tag you?

➥ Nah

✹ What's your current Vent UN?

➥ 10thtimelord. I’m quite proud of it.

✹ Do you change your username often? Do you alternate between a few?

➥ No

✹ Do you trade usernames?

➥ No

✹ Do you have any dreamies? Why do you want them?

➥ I really wanted TwilightSparkle for a while.

✹ What was your username when you first joined Vent?

➥ Honestly I’m not sure. It may have been WolfandDragon.

✹ When did you join?

➥ @/L3SBIAN was my original account. As it says there I joined nine years ago. Damn.

✹ Why did you decide to join? How did you learn about Vent?

➥ I don’t remember exactly how but it was likely through Tumblr.

✹ Do you identify as kin? How serious is it?

➥ Yep. Used to have a kin related tumblr blog n everything. It’s never been a huge part of my life but when I consume media related to my kins I get the brainrot again.

✹ Did you identify as kin before joining Vent? Did you know about kin before Vent?

➥ Yes, I learned about it through the hellsite Tumblr of course.

✹ Did you ever buy usernames, back when we could do that?

➥ No

✹ Did you hoard usernames before it was banned?

➥ No. The only username that I’ve kept that I don’t use is @/CHVRCHES because they’re my favorite band. 🩵

✹ Do you have a Vent subscription?

➥ Nah, I’m poor

✹ What is your favourite permanent emotion set? Favourite limited set?

➥ It’s very hard to choose! I really like Werewolf, Solar Eclipse, Sci-Fi, Punk Day, Pride, LGBT+ Pride, Emo Day, Earth Day, Disability Awareness, Digital…

✹ Do you actually choose emotions based on how you feel, or do you choose defaults for an aesthetic?

➥ Both

✹ How important is aesthetic to you on this app? How much time do you spend to choose a nice aesthetic, if you make a conscious effort to do so?

➥ I like when things look nice but sometimes I don’t really put much thought into it.

✹ Were you ever mutuals with "infamous" users? Any stories to tell about mutuals, in general?

➥ Probably but I’ve been on the app for 9 years so I can’t remember who they were.

✹ Have you ever been suspended? Deleted? Banned? Why?

➥ Not that I’m aware.

✹ If you had to guess, how much real money would you say you've put into the mouth app?

➥ I bought some rubber bracelets to support Vent in 2016 or 17. I never received them. I don’t remember how much that they cost.

✹ Have you contributed to Vent culture at all (made tag memes, emotions/emotion sets, caused rule changes, run big groups, etc)?

➥ I think that I made some tag memes but that was it.

✹ Any pet peeves relating to the userbase?

➥ Yeah but it’s not anything different from the rest of the internet that bugs me as well.

✹ Is Vent your primary social media? How often do you post?

➥ No. I don’t use it as often as I used to.

✹ What do you think about Vent staff?

➥ They’re okay.

✹ Has Vent taught you anything, about others, yourself, or the world? What was it?

➥ I knew this before Vent but Vent really cemented this for me; that people will assume the worst about you all of the time. Especially when they’re reacting to something in a knee-jerk way instead of taking time to think before they type.

════════════════

How many of these milestones, dramas, and elements of Vent Culture™ are familiar to you? Place an emoji after each you recognise. Feel free to tell stories! Not in chronological order.

Drew: 🍉

[WTF]:

Jeremy:

Sarahah: 🍉

Thiscrush: 🍉

Crytyping:

"BREADY":

Mark Smith:

Vent merch: 🍉 (see above)

Vent Angels: 🍉

"DEPRESSED":

Sans ketchup:

Johari window:

No dropdowns:

Most Discussed:

"Don't read" posts:

Buying emotion sets: 🍉

The big server move:

"Creative" set created:

Joker kinnie knife attack:

"SALTY" racism discourse:

"Never [SAME] my posts":

No Mutual Listeners setting:

"DNLI double of mutuals' kins":

All emotions had the same ints:

"Privileges & disprivileges" in bio:

Hashtags disabled (again & again): 🍉

A (consistently) working search function: 🍉

"Are you that kid on tumblr with the c*llouts":

"We can't make white emotions!":

"CRISPY" antisemitism discourse:

Removed from the Appstore:

Emotion Suggestions group: 🍉

"SLUSHY" JD discourse:

Rebecca Sugar factkin: 🍉

St*ff Appr*ciation Set: 🍉

Muted words feature: 🍉

Vent Subscriptions: 🍉

Dean's Bald Head:

Nightmode, finally: 🍉

UN hoarding ban: 🍉

App icon change:

Hot Takes Group: 🍉

Therapy Chatbot:

The Grey Area: 🍉

Ventstruggle: 🍉

Colored text: 🍉

V*ntidrama:

"Get to 10":

"Get to 13":

Buying UNs: 🍉

Scottcourse: 🍉

Nyacourse:

Curiouscat: 🍉

#saveVent:

Groups: 🍉

════════════════

✹ Why do you stay on this Hell App?

➥ Old habits die hard

✹ What is the best thing about Vent?

➥ My autism likes the colorful & cute emotion sets. I like pressing the buttons. It’s satisfying.

✹ What is the worst thing?

➥ Cyberbullying, death threats, bigotry, h*rny men

✹ Anyone you wanna tag?

➥ Anyone who’d like to do this

════════════════

thank you for doing my meme! g'dspeed, soldier.

#alexa rambles #vent app #ask to tag #felt like sharing this here #the vent app

0 notes

etheriaaly · 3 years

Text

Just The Two Of Us [C! Tommyinnit x GN! Reader]

FLUFF TO ANGST (PLATONIC) WARNINGS: Mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, character death, cursing

Reader pronouns: They/them

A/N: Hi, this is my first DSMP fanfic so uhh I hope u enjoy lmao. There might be grammatical errors so pls do not mind it :D

ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ∣ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

—

[Y/N] already lost count of all the pranks and chaos they made with Tommy. They didn't like causing havoc or pulling pranks on people but if Tommy asked them to tag along, they would. Tommy is their best friend after all. Plus, where's the fun in life without a little risk?

[Y/N] was just at their Cottage house, peacefully making the potions that Quackity ordered just hours ago. Since [Y/N] is a skilled witch, it was no shock when they owned a Potions business. Everyone in the SMP server knows about this and they usually come and buy their potions.

They were about to finish the last set of potions that Quackity ordered until they ran out of ingredients. "Dammit." [Y/N] muttered under their breath. They turned around and immediately went to find if they have any stock ingredients in their barrels or chests.

When they saw no stock ingredients, [Y/N] sighed and decided to do some last minute ingredients grinding. It was until they opened the door and saw Tommy standing in front of their house door.

[Y/N] knew that his presence is no good because that motherfucker is grinning ear to ear. They playfully groaned and asked, "What is it this time child?"

"Hey, I told you not to call me a child anymore!" Tommy suddenly protested, feeling insulted but went back to his sly grin and said, "Let's prank Skeppy and Bad."

"That's a horrible idea."

"Come on, bitch. It'll be fun."

And they did come with Tommy. A couple hours had passed and [Y/N] had already forgotten about the ingredients they were gonna get for Quackity's potions. Tommy said that Big Q's order can wait but the prank can't.

It wasn't long after Bad and Skeppy saw the two teenagers doing their little harmless prank on them.

[Y/N] caught sight of the two and immediately tugged on Tommy's shirt. "Fuck, Tommy we gotta go."

Tommy, unfazed and still focused on the prank, said, "Just a little longer."

[Y/N] nudged Tommy's side using her elbows as the two teenagers can now hear Skeppy and Bad's incoherent yelling drawing closer and closer to them.

"RUN!" [Y/N] yelled as they both left the things they used to try to prank BBH and Skeppy.

The two let out a laugh as they ran away. Tommy constantly turned his head back to see if Skeppy and Bad are still after them.

[Y/N] and Tommy continued to run even though Bad and Skeppy stopped coming after them. It wasn't until the two teenagers finally stopped running so that they could catch their breath.

"What now?" [Y/N] gasped, who is still out of breath from both running and laughing at the same time. They looked at Tommy.

Tommy grinned again and then grabbed their arm, "I have something pog to show you."

[Y/N] didn't question Tommy and just let him drag them to a mountain.

Once they have reached the destination, [Y/N] let out a 'wow'. The view is breathtaking and it is very peaceful. The mountain isn't that very far from the SMP but it looks like very few have come across this part.

"So, what do you think?" Tommy asked, looking at the view. The view consists of the calming ocean waves and a peaceful sunsetting with birds passing by.

[Y/N] turned to Tommy and smiled, "This could be our secret spot." They slowly walked towards the edge of the mountain cliff but were immediately stopped by Tommy.

"Oh, [Y/N] wait. Be careful, the edge of the cliff looks really faulty." Tommy warned.

[Y/N] immediately stepped back a little and took note of what Tommy said. But, they were still curious and looked down at the edge of the cliff, only to see the water from below.

If someone would fall from this cliff and took a heavy impact on the water, that person wouldn't survive due to how high the mountain cliff is.

[Y/N] then proposed, "You know, when things are stressful and stuff. We can just go here, sit in silence and look at the view as the wind or the waves takes away our problems for a while."

"Just the two of us." The blonde haired lad said and then they both stood in silence, admiring the view and beauty of the server.

Oh, if only you could turn back in time and relive this memory. If only things are still the same the way it was before.

It's been so long since [Y/N] had fun and peace. Probably so many months since Tommy first showed them their secret mountain hangout area.

[Y/N] currently stood still, gazing at the view that was once calm and peaceful but was now replaced with sounds of flying TNTs, fireworks and screams from the background.

They were in no state of mind as of the moment. They don't even know what to do anymore. A lot has changed ever since the wars, the exilation of Tommy.

[Y/N] sniffed, wiping their tears using their now mangy sleeves caused by the current chaotic event. They continued to stare at the ocean, a potion of poison glistening in their hands.

[Y/N] looked at the Potion of Poison that they were holding and pondered whether to drink it or not.

Maybe it's best to end it once and for all. They don't have anywhere to go anyways. They don't have any friends or family to turn back to since everyone is against them or thought badly of them now.

[Y/N] can't even go back to L’manberg as well since they're now a wanted criminal for breaking the laws and escaping from their house since they're supposed to be on house arrest for the crimes they didn't even do.

They opened the cork of the potion, but they didn't drink it yet. They let their mind wander for a while and process everything that has happened.

Maybe Dream was right. Maybe the people they loved never even cared for them at all. Maybe it was all just a lie. Maybe—

"[Y/N]." A familiar voice that they haven't heard in a while.

It was windy. The cool breeze of air touched their skins. But along with the wind, there are particles of TNT or fireworks dusts.

The [H/C] haired person turned around and saw their best friend for the first time in months.

"Tommy." [Y/N] replied. Their voice were hoarse and dry. "What are you- What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Tommy glared at them.

[Y/N] quietly groaned, closed their eyes for a while and pinched their nose bridge, still holding the potion on their other hand. "So, you believe all that shit?"

"Enough for me to believe the fact you tried to murder Tubbo, burn my invites and team up with Dream."

Tommy added, "Maybe they were right about you. You're Dream's sibling after all."

[Y/N] scoffed and threw their available hand around the air, "He may be my sibling, but we are never alike."

"Why, [Y/N]? Why did you do it?" Tommy asked, hands gripping tighter on his sword. "Did Dream finally get into your head for you to commit these crimes? Or did you just do it because it's in your blood?"

"You don't know a thing that happened," [Y/N] harshly spit back, completely trying to avoid the topic of Dream. "Of course you don't. You were exiled."

Tommy never understood why. Why had they turned like this? He felt rage and betrayal. During his exiled time, Tommy thought that they were gonna be that one person who would try to find him. Comfort him or even send him secret coded messages. But no, he received nothing.

It hurts. Hurts like hell to know your best friend turned their back on everyone. A best friend that he has known for years. A part of him wants to believe they didn't do it but the proofs are enough for him to believe it was really them.

"Well, you really can't blame me can you? You can only blame yourself," [Y/N] said. "This all started because of you and your stupid discs. All you ever care about is the FUCKING DISCS. Wars started, lives were lost, relationships were destroyed, all just because of those discs."

They had never done this before. This was their first time just being angry and shouting at each other. Although this might be new to each other, it was obvious that they have been bottling up their emotions way too long.

"You know what?! Things would be so much better if only you didn't exist." Tommy instantly regretted what he said as soon as he saw a potion glisten from [Y/N]'s hands.

He may not be an expert but he knew well enough of the potions due to him hanging out too much with them before. "What are you doing?" Tommy immediately asked. "Is that a potion of poison?"

"Nothing for you to care about." [Y/N] turned back towards the cliff and stared at the view once again.

"Just the two of us again here, huh?" They said as they pulled the potion towards their mouth, just inches away from the lips now until Tommy hurriedly ran towards [Y/N] and tackled them.

"What are you, an idiot?!" Tommy scolded as they both fought each other while trying not to fall from the cliff. He tried to pull the potion of poison away but it was hard since they kept gripping on it.

It wasn't until Tommy was finally able to remove the potion from [Y/N]'s grasps. He threw the potion far away as it got smashed on the ground.

The two of them were too busy fighting over the potion to notice that one of them is now standing on the faulty edge of the cliff.

[Y/N] was on the edge of the cliff and accidentally backed away from Tommy, thinking there was still space. A loud shriek came out of their mouth.

Tommy immediately ran towards the edge, scrambled on his feet and looked down. Luckily, [Y/N] was able to hold onto the edge but their hands are shaky and tired from all the things that just happened.

"I got you, I got you." Tommy frantically muttered, his breath increasing as to not knowing what will happen next.

[Y/N] grip is slowly failing. Once their hands slipped, Tommy instantly grabbed their hands and tried to pull them back up. But, he too was tired from everything that has been happening.

He tried to pull them up again but it was no use. Stress was adding up even more the moment they both felt the edge of the cliff shaking once more.

Tommy can't do it anymore. So, he let out all the tears he's been trying to fight back.

"It's gonna be okay, Tommy. Let me go."

The blonde haired teen's eyes widened at [Y/N]'s statement. He can't do it. He can't bear to lose another loved one in his life.

"I can't lose you too, [N/N]." Tommy croaked.

The two might've fought just minutes ago but this is now a life and death situation. Problems and angst aside, they still care for each other.

"You already did." Tommy's eyes widened in confusion and sadness. [Y/N] forced their hand to slip from his as Tommy tried to tighten it even more. [Y/N] had a few energies remaining, so they used it to push themselves off the cliff with their foot, making Tommy let go.

For Tommy, everything is going so fast that his mind almost stopped working.

But everything was in slow motion for [Y/N]. The fresh wind was so refreshing, almost making them forget what is currently happening to them.

They closed their eyes, not wanting to see anymore reactions from Tommy. This is their end. This was meant to be.

The moment [Y/N] chose to fall out from Tommy's grip, the blonde panicked and set aside all items he had with him. Without thinking properly, he lunged himself off the cliff. The only goal he had in mind was to save [Y/N] before it's too late.

But he was, indeed, late.

Everyone's communicator beeped. They all took at least some time to look at what the message could be on the communicator. As soon as everyone read the 2 words, their jaws dropped.

[Y/N] drowned.

#tommyinnit #tommyinnit x reader #platonic tommyinnit x reader #dreamsmp #dsmp #dreamsmp x reader #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit x yn #angst #c!tommyinnit #dsmp x reader #mcyt x reader angst #platonic #tommy #gn!reader #tommyinnit imagine #tommyinnit fanfic #etheriaaly

478 notes · View notes

vyeoh · 3 years

Note

this is your chance: wax poetic about an Empires or DSMP character of your choice to a fan who is new to both. Explain why I should love them. I need guidance in this new and meme-populated land.

okok this is a lot of pressure haha. Spoilers for EmpiresSMP and DreamSMP below, obviously. I wrote a lot so prepare yourself, anon

I watch a lot of empires POVs but the ones I most anticipate every week are Scott and Sausage.

c!Scott (I'll call him Smajor for the sake of simplicity) starts off the series chilling, not really getting involved with the rest of the server, and staying aggressively neutral. After all, he's an elf. He has lived far longer than most of the other rulers already, and will most likely outlive them for many years. So, the best thing is to stick to his mountains and not get invested in the dealings of mortal affairs, maybe sometimes causing problems on purpose and dipping because what's life without a little spice right.

But then, this demon comes to the server, Xornoth. He's going around causing havoc and wants to send the world into an eternal winter, but he doesn't bother the kingdom of Rivendell much so Smajor stays tentatively cautious but ultimately unbothered. But then, the puzzle pieces start falling together. The first thing that the audience noticed was was Xornoth sounded like Smajor, but we mostly thought that this was just due to cc!Scott voicing both of them and there was nothing more to it. However, then, the people the demon starts possessing start chanting in elvish. The demon hates mortals, and the elves are conveniently one of the two confirmed not fully mortal races in Empires.

This culminates when Smajor stumbles across a cave that contains the backstory of the patron god of Rivendell, Aeor. Basically, there's two opposing forces, Aeor and Exor, and both have a champion. In a previous life, those champions were two brothers, where Aeor eventually prevailed and banished Exor. In this life though, the champions are - you guessed it - Smajor, and the demon Xornoth.

So now Smajor is like. Well fuck. It's my literal god-given destiny to be responsible for defeating this demon who is technically my brother, and if I fail the server gets plunged into an eternal winter. And I have no fucking clue what is happening because I've just been here on this mountain actively trying to stay out of the issues outside my kingdom. We watch him panic and teeter on the verge of spiraling for an entire episode, and when the followers of Xornoth go to the End to kill the dragon, releasing Xornoth's full powers, he fails to stop him. Smajor is a character who was used to being the smart one, the prepared one, the one who has the least deaths on the server. But he's also a character who runs away from his problems and ignores them. Before and during the dragon fight, we hear the desperation in his voice, as he's thrown into a situation he is wholly unprepared for, and it's bigger than him going to the Cod Empire to kill their king, or assisting in other people's plans to kill the codfather. He can't run from this. cc!Scott plays this scene so well as well, as I've said before, one of the best parts of Scott's acting is how he's never super dramatic, but he's so effective in the little things like inflection to make you feel, viscerally, the panic and dread.

So after the dragon fight, Smajor realizes, I can't do this on my own. I've tried and failed. So he gets allies. We watch him, someone who has so strongly been an isolationist, learn the benefits of allies and watch him learn to trust others and watch him learn how to get that trust in return.

My favorite thing about Smajor's characterization is that he's an incompetent protagonist, but not in the way of the "plucky young adventurer". He's capable skill-wise, and fairly jaded and very pessimistic. However, his issue is that up until recently, he did not care about the rest of the server at all, and by the time he learned to, it was way too late.

Also, in 3rd Life, cc!Scott and cc!Jimmy were canonically married and they reference it sometimes in Empires. Like, Scott goes over to the Cod Empire every so often both in and out of character to kill and/or flirt with Jimmy, the ruler of the Cod Empire, which may develop as a secondary plot into the future who knows. So ty Scott for giving the gays what they want o7

Now onto Sausage: his is a story of Icarus, his hubris and ambition being his downfall. He's one of the two followers of Xornoth, who promised him endless power in exchange for his servitude. He started the series being eccentric, but not outright unhinged, but slowly gets more and more extreme as the series progresses, as he gets brought more and more to Xornoth's side.

One of the best parts of Sausage's character, in my opinion, is how his gradual corruption affects the people around him. Initially, he got into a conflict with the Cod Empire and was allied with two other people in the Witherrose alliance. They were allies, but also close friends. The fandom liked to joke that the three had sibling energy, and I'm pretty sure the ccs played to that even more lol.

It was painful to watch the other two members, Gem and fWhip, watch Sausage get corrupted right in front of them, and see them desperately clinging on to this old idea of Sausage in their head because if they faced the truth, it would mean that their friend was gone. Eventually, they do finally cut him out of the alliance, leading him to fully commit to the side of the demon. Sausage felt very clearly betrayed by this, and declared the remaining two Witherrose alliance members to be enemies.

He gets more and more possessed, and we even see the other Empires, his enemies even, slowly realize that something is very wrong with the ruler of Mythland. He starts doing more and more evil things, like killing people more, making sacrifices to the demon, and eventually helping to kill the dragon to free Xornoth. So things are good for Sausage, for a bit. He won, and is more powerful than ever. Then he finds out: he's going to die. Xornoth's possession is slowly killing his soul, and eventually, his body going to be fully taken over and he himself is going to be trapped in the spirit realm. So how do you react to this? Over the next few episodes, we watch Sausage struggle between "the demon is literally killing me" and "the demon has given me so much, and I love it", all while Xornoth takes over more and more of him. We hear him exclaim that "don't worry!! I'm still about 15% there!" while trying to downplay every time Xornoth completely takes over his body. We watch him willingly oppose anyone who is trying to end the thing that is killing him.

My favorite thing about Sausage is that he is undoubtedly evil and proud of it, but he's also undoubtedly human. If you like to watch evil characters go absolutely feral, he's the guy for you. He makes the deal with Xornoth in the beginning, knowing and fully embracing the evilness of the demon, but at the same time he knows what he's doing is detrimental to both himself and everyone around him, but he's gotten in way too deep at this point, and to be fair the demon has held up its end fo the bargain, right?

Also, I would be damned if I don't talk about cc!Sausage's editing. Every one of his videos is like a movie. The way he does camera angles and uses music is so skillful- every lore scene feels like something out of a high fantasy action saga (think: LotR). Every big lore event I always wait in anticipation for Sausage's ep because his editing truly takes lore to another level.

I'm just generally very excited to see where this series goes. Empires is such a good mix of talented builders and good lore. Part of the reason why the series is so immersive for me, beyond any other lore smp, is that they have the settings to back it up. There is a certain charm to the DreamSMP's objectively terrible builds (with a few exceptions) but in Empires, the settings help sell the plot so much.

Another part of why I love EmpiresSMP is how much the ccs are involved with the fan community. I'm sure you've seen the memes about Scott being on tumblr, and Sausage regularly goes through the EmpiresSMP fanart tag on Twitter and likes art, even ones not related to Mythland. Most of the ccs, in fact, have brought up tumblr content on stream at some point or another. Like, several ccs have said that they read tumblr lore theories and hcs and stuff and sometimes take inspiration from them. Fun fact: Rivendell's church was inspired by my pinned drawing; confirmed by Scott Smajor himself. It's just such a good cycle of ccs and fans being excited about each other.

As for DreamSMP, I'm gonna be honest here, the only person I really am invested in in Technoblade. I started watching when he joined the server, and he's the only person whose lore I keep up to date with.

Techno's fun to watch because he's like the Deadpool of DreamSMP. Virtually unkillable, very skilled and scary, but consistently cracks jokes and breaks the 4th wall during plot. His POV is just fun. Like, he does wild plans and gives speeches and some of the stuff that happens to him should be called deus ex machine if it wasn't for the fact that Technoblade is the one who's doing it, and all the stuff is grounded in the fact that cc!Techno is just that good at the game.

However, the fact that he rarely takes anything seriously makes the few times Techno is 100% serious so much more impactful. His whole character has a basis in being perceived as inhuman and being treated as such, and therefore in return trying to hide his humanity. So, when he shows that humanity, whether that's fear, anger, or genuine love for his friends, it really makes you go "oh shit."

Techno's often said not to have character development, but I'd argue that while he remains steadfast in his moral code, he develops leaps and bounds as a person. Like, at the beginning, he's brought onto the server to help Wilbur and Tommy overthrow a government; them knowing he's 1) an anarchist and 2) very very powerful. His character was more of a plot device at that point and was treated as such in the canon. Wilbur and Tommy straight-up lie to him about their plans to establish another government after they overthrow the current one, while he was led on to believe that they were abolishing all governments in the area. But he isn't a plot device. He's a person, as much as he only shows the terrifying, blood god side of himself.

After the establishment of New Lmanburg (the new government its a long story), his friend Phil joins. And for the first time, we see him be fully human with someone and we see someone treat him like a human. Like, we saw glimpses before, with Wilbur and Tommy in Pogtopia, but Phil is the first person we noticeably see he trusts 100%. Then Doomsday happens, and Techno essentially retires to the tundra. During this time, we see Techno learn to be more human, first with Ranboo, then Niki when he establishes the Syndicate. In fact, the two of them, along with Phil, canonically throw him a birthday party, which is a far cry from his treatment in Pogtopia.

Techno's development is one of a god learning to be human, and I just think he <3

#vio.ask #empiressmp #empires smp #dreamsmp #scott smajor #smajor #smajor1995 #mythicalsausage #mythical sausage #technoblade #to be clear i am not an apologist for any character #i fully realize that they are doing wrong and I like to watch it happen #minecraft roleplay got be in full character analysis mode #long post

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n00dl3gal · 3 years

Text

Like Old Times (Father-Son Bonding AU)

A direct sequel to the “Expiration Date” fic, which I’ll link in a reblog. I’ve also posted all my fics in this AU to AO3!! Thanks again to @thetriggeredhappy for their help and just generally being a cool dude, and the Scoutsune Discord server for indulging my brainrot

No warnings beyond family schmoop!

Less than an hour after the bread monster incident, the Administrator called for a ceasefire. “Only while your base is repaired,” she said over the TV screen. “BLU is quite disappointed in this negligence- as am I. Regardless, you may use these three days as you see fit. Go home, stay here- whatever you do, no more bread monsters.” The screen turned off with a click.

Scout exhaled through his nose. He was thankful there was no mention of him or Miss Pauling’s woodchipper.

Spy decloaked behind him. “Less time than I wanted, but c’est la vie.” Scout looked at him over his shoulder. “I’m meeting with an old contact during our break,” Spy said in Italian. “Would you like to come along? It’ll be like old times.”

Scout’s brow furrowed, but he nodded. At least this way, he’d get out of helping Engie and Heavy with repairs. And possibly meeting Miss Pauling’s woodchipper.

“Excellent. Our flight is at 7 AM tomorrow.”

“We’re flying commercial?” Scout asked, also in (more hesitant) Italian.

“Our destination is continental. We’ll leave the base by 5:30.” Scout groaned as Spy started to leave. But- wait, he hadn’t-

“Oi, where are we going, anyway?” he called back in English.

Spy paused to look at him and smile. “Boston.”

“Why do we always get the ass-crack-of-dawn flights?” Jeremy asked groggily, reclining his seat.

“They are the ones with first-class seats available,” Raphael replied. He took a sip from his mimosa.

“Yeah, cuz God forbid you fly coach for once.” Jeremy shifted, trying to get comfortable. “Hey. Have I ever been to Boston before?”

Raphael didn’t answer immediately. His lip sucked in, as if in thought. “Yes. When you were very, very young. You wouldn’t remember.”

Jeremy nodded. He wanted to ask more, there was something Raphael wasn’t saying but… well, he was never a morning person. He fell asleep before the plane even took off.

. . .

It was mid-afternoon by the time they landed in Boston. Jeremy was never fond of long flights; having his legs cramped like that for extended periods of time was murder. He was half tempted to take a jog around Logan International. Raphael, on the other hand, was ushering them both to the car rental. “Can’t even get a stretch in, huh?”

“Unfortunately, we are expected by 4, and I would hate to keep my contact waiting,” Raphael explained in French, accepting the keys from the girl at the counter. “She’s not a very patient woman, in some regards.”

Jeremy huffed but didn’t argue. He just followed his father to the rental, tossing his suitcase in the backseat. “Y’know, the girl at the counter-”

“We will not have time for you to go out on a date, Jeremy.”

“No! No, it was- her accent’s kinda like mine, it’s weird,” Jeremy said. Raphael started the car. “Cuz I’ve only been here as a baby, and I got mine from TV and shit. It’s just… really strange, is all.”

Raphael made a quiet noise of agreement. “Some of the shows you watched as a child were filmed here. It’s not as complex as you think it is.”

“Yeah, probably not…”

The pair lapsed into silence as Raphael drove. Storefronts and high rises morphed into houses. It had been a while since they were in a residential area. RED, for understandable reasons, kept away from civilians.

Raphael took the roads with practiced experience. Sure, it had been implied he knew the area. If he had a contact here- one with a house, presumably- he must’ve spent time here. But this- this was far too familiar. A bit suspicious, actually.

Eventually, Raphael slowed in front of a more rundown Brownstone. Still quite nice, just needed a little work. It felt… welcoming, in a way Jeremy couldn’t name.

“Lotta cars,” he observed as Raphael parallel parked. “Must be a party going on somewhere.”

“Hmm, perhaps,” Raphael said, turning the car off. “Would you mind ringing the doorbell for me? I need to grab something from the trunk. Ask for Sara Jane.”

OK, now Jeremy knew something was up. He was never the one to make the first contact, that was always Dad’s job. Jeremy might be a full-grown adult, but there were some things that didn’t change. This was one of them.

Still, he nodded. He climbed up the front steps and ringed the doorbell. He heard- multiple voices from inside, predominantly male, but they quickly silenced themselves. A TV, perhaps? They really ought to get that flower box on the second story window fixed-

The woman who opened the door was a bit shorter than him, though not by much. She was wearing a simple dress, hoop earrings, and flats. Her hair was dark, curved to her chin. But her nose and earlobes felt… achingly familiar. Like Jeremy saw them all the time.

“Um, hi, I’m looking for Sara Jane? My name’s-” The rest of his speech was knocked out of him as the woman launched herself at him. Jeremy braced for an attack, but quickly realized she was… hugging him.

She was hugging him, sobbing, and choked out the word “Jeremy.”

Wait. He knew that voice. He had only heard it a few times in his life, few enough he could count them on one hand, but he knew it. “M-Ma?” he whispered.

The woman- Sara Jane- Ma looked up at him, still crying. Her hands found his face as she observed him. “Y-yeah, sweetie, it’s me, it’s-it’s your ma,” she said.

“Ma!” he laughed, tears of his own dancing down his cheeks. He hugged her back, practically lifting her off her feet. “Oh my God, Ma! I-I never thought I’d-”

“Oh Jeremy, sweetie, look how tall you’ve gotten! Last I saw you, you fit in my arms! My baby, my handsome baby,” she spoke over him. She rubbed circles into his back as they embraced. It felt so, so right.

Jeremy laughed even harder. “Are you kiddin’? I got it from you, you’re beautiful, Ma!” He stared at her, trying to commit every mole and wrinkle and perfect flaw to memory. “I can’t believe- oh my God, I’m actually meeting you!”

“It was long overdue,” another voice said, as Raphael joined them on the front stoop. “I had put it off for safety reasons, but considering our current, ah, situation… I felt it was worth the risk.”

Sara Jane squealed, pulling Raphael into the hug as well. “You’ve been taking good care of my boy, you promise me, Raphael?”

“Don’t worry Ma, he’s the best dad I could ask for, considering,” Jeremy teased.

“Oh, don’t I know it. Called me up last night and told me to get the whole motley crew together. Even managed to get Melvin to bring his twin daughters, bless his wife’s heart,” she explained.

Jeremy blinked. “Uh- Melvin? Daughters?”

Sara Jane laughed. It sounded so much like Jeremy’s it practically hurt. This was his mother. Lord, he’s finally seeing her. “Melvin’s your older brother, sweetie. Eh, sixth oldest. Bobby’s the oldest.”

“I have a brother?”

“Oh honey, you’re the youngest of eight,” Sara Jane said plainly.

“...fuck,” Jeremy whispered.

. . .

He didn’t just have seven brothers. He had seven brothers, four of which brought their wives, one who brought his boyfriend, and three who brought their kids. And the kids totaled to an additional six, counting the babies.

It was… an admittedly tight squeeze in the living room.

Sara Jane introduced Jeremy. Jeremy had been expecting to be treated like a stranger. He had vanished when he was a baby, after all, and his younger-older brothers probably wouldn’t remember him at all.

And yet, it was like he knew them all his life.

They teased him and punched him playfully and acted so friendly, so familial it nearly made Jeremy break down. He was still crying from meeting Ma, but being dogpiled with so much affection was suffocating. In a good way. He had seen on sitcoms the intrinsic bond between family, and while he felt it with Dad, they also risked their lives nearly daily. But it was real, it was here, and it was wrapping him in a warm blanket.

Despite the chaos and the sheer number of people, Jeremy didn’t feel overwhelmed. He laughed and played along with their jokes, cracking some back when he could get a word in. Scott ragged on his dog tags, he countered by pointing out the hole in his pants. Michael told him he was still a shortass, he replied with “it takes one to know one.” Elliot and Ricky were the closest to actually getting hurt, and that was only because Jeremy elbowed them both so hard they nearly fell over.

For the first time in 25 years, Jeremy understood what “home” meant.

The kids were especially curious, eager to meet their uncle and step-grandfather. Within seconds, young Rebecca- only four years old- was challenging Jeremy to a race around the house. “I’m the fastest kid in the world,” she bragged, puffing out her chest.

“Oh yeah?” Jeremy asked. “That a fact?”

“You wanna test me? I beat Johnny Three-Legs at running, and he’s got three legs!” Jeremy laughed and stood from the couch, letting her lead him outside. “On the count of three, OK?”

“You’re on, pipsqueak,” Jeremy teased.

“Onetwothree GO!” Rebecca yelled, taking off in a sprint. Jeremy knew that, by all accounts, he should beat her. His legs were longer, she didn’t have the proper running stance, and it was his job to be fast. That’s what he got paid to do. But some small voice was telling him to let her win, so he did. “Ha! I told ya!”

“Ya sure did,” he replied, mock panting. “Look at you, a freaking blur on the green. You’re goin’ to the Olympics, kid.”

Rebecca beamed and hugged his leg. “Promise, Uncle Jeremy?” He nodded because, after that display, there was no way he could speak without squeaking like a chew toy.

Rebecca skipped back inside, past Raphael, who was watching on the stoop. “You’re a natural with children,” he observed. “I used to do the same thing when you were that age.”

“Wait- wait, really? You sure fooled me,” Jeremy said.

Raphael rolled his eyes. “What’s my job again, mon lapin?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Jeremy leaned against the railing, watching Raphael’s cigarette smoke in the wind. “Hey. Uh… thanks for arranging all of this. You really didn’t need to.”

“But I did. I meant it when I said this was overdue. I’ve been wanting to introduce you to the rest of the family for a while, but have been unable. Then that whole ordeal with the supposed tumors, and-” Raphael exhaled slowly. “It wouldn’t have been fair to you if you died without knowing them. I would’ve never forgiven myself.”

Jeremy punched his shoulder lightly. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, pops. It all worked out, we’re still kicking, and that roast chicken Ma’s making smells incredible. Everything’s perfect.”

Raphael finished his cigarette and smiled. “Oui. It is.”

. . .

While Sara Jane had been able to get the rest of the family here, it was a school night. Kids needed to be tucked in by 9:30, so most of Jeremy’s brothers were gone by 8. Elliot was staying overnight, as was his boyfriend. Otherwise, the house quickly went from bustling to barren.

It gave Jeremy a chance to explore his would-be childhood home.

He made his way upstairs, pushing open one of the doors. It led- to little surprise- to a bedroom. It was set up like a nursery, with a crib in one corner and a toddler bed in the other. Toys were scattered about across the floor.

He heard Sara Jane sigh behind him. “This was your room, you know.” Jeremy turned to look at her as she flipped the light switch. “That crib… I had put you to bed the night your father planned to fake his death. I was in on the whole plan, naturally. He wanted to hold you one last time, so I said OK. When I woke up the next morning… you were both gone.” She exhaled slowly, grabbing onto his shoulder. “I wrote both of you off as dead, but I knew what had happened. Honestly, should’ve figured it out before then. You hadn’t woken me up crying,” she joked. Her eyes were watering.

Jeremy hugged her, pulling her close. “You never took the crib down?”

“By the time I was ready, Bobby’s wife was pregnant, so I kept it up for my grandbabies. I knew- I knew you were out there, sweetie. Both of you.” She kissed his cheek, squeezing him.

“I-I never got to be a normal kid, really,” he confessed. “I mean, Dad did his best, gave me comic books and board games and stuff, but-but I never went to school or made friends or anything like that. I-I didn’t even know I had a family. It took me forever to even realize I had a Ma. An-and everything I did-” The tears were flowing again, more freely than earlier. “Ya missed me losing my first tooth, and potty trainin’, and all that stuff parents should know about. I-I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Sara Jane wiped his cheek dry. “Don’t apologize for what your father did, Jeremy. And definitely don’t apologize for me not potty training another kid. Besides… hold on, I’ll be right back.” She made her way down the hallway. Jeremy didn’t follow, instead deciding to examine the crib. This was where he grew up. It was a simple crib, obviously well-used. Not worn-down, mind, just… used. It had a history. A history that Jeremy wanted to decode, but unlike his dad’s ciphers, he didn’t have the key.

“Took me a second to find it,” Sara Jane said. She handed him what appeared to be a scrapbook. “Raphael- he wrote when he can. Taught me some basic codes, would send out letters whenever you’d leave a town. Never left a return address, but…” Jeremy flipped through the pages, moving to sit on the small bed. The letters were all coded but appeared to be about how much Raphael missed Sara Jane. Updates on Jeremy’s growth. Letters from a father to his lover and son’s mother.

One page jumped out to him, though. “I remember this,” he said, running his fingers against the paper. It was a simple drawing of a young boy, holding a catcher’s mitt, and a taller man next to him. “I drew this after Dad took me to my first baseball game, for my eighth birthday. I thought I lost the drawing after we skipped town, but- he sent them to you?”

Sara Jane nodded. “And I kept them all. Oh, honey, the day I first heard your voice on the phone- Mikey can tell you, I damn near fell over. You sounded so happy, and even if I couldn’t see you, that’s all a mother wants.” Jeremy leaned against her and she shut the book. “That’s all a mother wants, sweetie. To see her kids be safe and happy.”

“I am, Ma,” he assured her. “I promise.”

They sat like that for a while, with Sara Jane commenting on various letters and drawings in the scrapbook. Apparently, Raphael sent her money when he could- more frequently now that Mann Co. paid so well. She also had a rough idea of their current occupations. “I figure, if you and your father are working for the same company- with his skills, there’s gotta be a whole lot of nonsense going on out in that desert.” Jeremy laughed at that because she wasn’t wrong. “But I also figure since he raised you right, he’ll keep the both of you safe.”

“I keep him safe too, don’t worry,” Jeremy added. “Uh- listen, it’s touching and all you kept the crib, but I don’t have to sleep in it, right?”

They both had a good chuckle over that. Their laughs were in perfect harmony.

. . .

The next two days were a mix of learning the family history and exploring Boston. It was the offseason, so there weren’t any games going on at Fenway, but Jeremy still got a picture in front of the park. Sara Jane took the pair to a restaurant that served “the best damn clam chowder in the contiguous United States.” Which, incidentally, led them to discover Jeremy was allergic to clams. Thankfully they didn’t have to go to the hospital- he just sort of immediately got sick before it passed- but it did suck.

It was damn good chowder, though.

They went down to the harbor where the Boston Tea Party happened. It was crowded with people, resulting in them not staying long. Jeremy was a bit better with crowds than Raphael, but neither was great with them. Came with the job. Getting overpriced memorabilia from a nearby gift shop, though, went over much more smoothly.

When not out on the town, Sara Jane dug out more scrapbooks and photo albums, catching Raphael up on what his stepsons had been up to. She showed Jeremy pictures from Ricky’s first school play to Scott opening up his butcher shop. Graduation pictures, wedding pictures, baby pictures- it was all there, and Jeremy devoured it. He wanted to know these people. He wanted to know his family. And he did. He learned about Michael’s stint in the Navy, Melvin meeting his wife, how Bobby’s son could dribble a basketball for twenty minutes straight. He learned about how his parents met. How Raphael loved each of Sara Jane’s children, even if they weren’t biologically his. How Jeremy wasn’t planned- few of the kids were - but they were both so, so happy to realize he was coming.

He also learned that, while diner food would remain the undisputed king, homemade meatloaf came pretty close.

. . .

The only problem came when it was time to leave. It wasn’t that Jeremy didn’t want to return to work, or leave his Ma behind. Sara Jane wasn’t even torn up over losing her son and lover again. It just felt like there was so much left to say, to do. There was uncertainty as to when they’d be able to return. “We get time off for Smissmas, I know that’s months away but I’ll be here, I promise,” Jeremy swore, hugging Sara Jane for the eighth time.

“You better,” she said, squeezing him tightly. “You have 25 years worth of gifts to catch up on, not to mention birthday gifts-”

“Ma, you don’t have to go that far,” he whined. He was touched, sure, but the thought of that much luggage was truly frightening. Oh God, he was going to have to get gifts for everybody, wasn’t he? What do kids even want for Smissmas?

“Hush, let me spoil my baby,” Sara Jane told him, kissing his cheek. “Oh, Jeremy…”

Jeremy nodded. “I know, but I’ll call. I’ll write, too. Send pictures if I can.”

“I’ll make sure he does,” Raphael assured her. Sara Jane stood to kiss his lips, with Jeremy looking away pointedly. “You have my word, ma petite chou-fleur.”

“Alright, alright- now get going, I don’t want you two missing your flight. That boss of yours sounds like she’ll tear you both a new one if you’re late,” Sara Jane said, shooing them away. “Love you boys!”

“I love you too, Ma!” Jeremy shouted back, for the very first time.

The drive back to the airport was quiet. Jeremy stared out the window, watching his hometown- he had a hometown- pass by. “Hey, dad?” he asked, still looking outside. Raphael grunted to acknowledge he was listening. “One of these days, our contracts with Mann Co. are gonna expire. We’re gonna have to find new jobs.”

“Yes, that’s correct,” Raphael said. He tapped a rhythm against the steering wheel.

“And-and I was thinking when that time comes… maybe we could come back to Boston. Find some gigs out here,” Jeremy suggested.

Raphael sighed. “Unfortunately, being a spy means that you don’t have the option of retiring, Jeremy. Not until you’re unable to complete your job. At that point, though, you’ve probably died a dozen times over,” he explained. “Even if I could retire, settling down somewhere so close to people I care about- I would still have enemies.”

“Right. ‘Course,” Jeremy said. “It’s OK.”

“That being said,” Raphael continued, “you have the luxury of youth and not being tied down to such a career. If you want to find a job in Boston after we finish with RED, there’s nothing stopping you.”

“But people will still be after me, since I’m your son. And you wouldn’t be around.”

“Every child leaves their parents someday. And you’re strong, Jeremy. You can protect yourself and your family.” Raphael smiled. “I don’t believe Sara Jane needs much protecting, but I do worry.”

Jeremy laughed. “I mean, did ya see the muscles on Scott and Michael? Guys can probably bench press a tractor!”

They both chuckled before settling into quietude. Eventually, though, Jeremy had to break the silence. His voice was barely above a whisper. “I love you.”

“I love you too, mon lapin.”

“...so your nickname for Ma is fucking ‘little cauliflower?’ What the hell, Dad?”

#father-son bonding au #Team Fortress 2 #team fortress 2 au #tf2 #tf2 fanfiction #tf2 scout #tf2 spy #tf2 scout's mom #dad spy #thetriggeredhappy #spy x scout's ma #noodle writes

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waywardmoeyy · 4 years

Text

4am Food Coma

Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 1,784

Warnings: insomnia, just some familial fluff.

A/N: This is as much of a feel-good story as I can write late at night. Haha. I hope you all like it!

My Master List

You sighed as you stared at the drab bunker ceiling. Your body was practically aching from exhaustion, but you mind was racing. Random, deep-rooted memories flashed through you, some causing your heart to pound with regret. This lifestyle had really been taking a toll on you lately, and you knew it was only going to get worse.

You pulled the scratchy, plaid blanket up to your chin and sighed. You could go back to your room, but Dean was snoring to heavily on the other side of the wall. You typically fell asleep before him, but tonight, you just couldn’t get your mind to shut off.

Grabbing your phone beside you, you unlocked the screen and checked the time. 3:34am.

“Well, shit,” you muttered to yourself with another sigh. There was no way you were going to get any sleep at this point. You had promised Sam that, in the morning, you would go with him to some outdoor clothing store a few towns over, and he was always up at the ass crack of dawn. So, that meant you probably only had an hour or so of time to get any sort of shut eye.

The tip-tap of heavy feet approached you from behind the couch. You turned toward the noise, sitting up a little to peer over the back of the couch. In the scarce light, you found your oldest brother approaching you.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing up, sweetheart?” Dean asked, shooting you a concerned look. You sighed and leaned back onto your makeshift pillow.

“My mind has decided that now is a great time to replay every horrible thing that’s happened in every hunt I can remember. It’s making me nuts. You know me, I’m the one who is always saying that what’s in the past can’t be changed, just let it go. I’m not usually one to dwell, but here I am.” You watched Dean as he plopped down on the edge of the couch, lightly leaning against your feet.

“Sounds like a helluva nightmare, Y/N. Anything I can do to help?” That was a great question, and usually the one you were asking your brothers. You pursed your lips, then gently shook your head.

“I dunno. I think I just need some sort of distraction. I’ve tried watching TV, but my mind just drifts off into another world.” You rolled your eyes. “And I promised Sam I’d go to that store he loves. He wants to leave early. I’m going to be a zombie.”

Dean chuckled as he watched you, probably laughing at the dark rings that were undoubtedly plaguing your eyes. He patted your ankles and smiled.

“I have an idea. Grab a sweatshirt and meet me at the car.” You furrowed your brow as you watched him launch to his feet.

“Wha-wait. What? No. I’m not going out like this. Dean, it’s almost four in the morning! Where are we going?” You slid out from under your blanket. You were clad in baggy pajama pants covered in cat silhouettes, and a tank top that absolutely did not match. Not to mention the quarter sized hole under your right armpit.

“Relax, Bitz, no one’s going to care where were going. Just grab a sweatshirt and some shoes. You have five minutes.” You rolled your eyes at your big brother. He was always up to some sort of shenanigans. But, the two of you were a lot alike, so you usually trusted his crazy schemes.

“Fine, but I’m not going to say I’m excited until I know where we’re going.”

“Calm down, Bitz. You’ll like it.” Bitz, short for Itsy Bitsy, was the nickname Dean gave you when you were too young to talk. Since you were the youngest, and quite obviously the smallest, he thought it was funny. But over three decades later, he still called you by that nickname more than he ever used your real one.

One more unsure sigh left your lungs before you turned towards your room, in search of a jacket.

“I remember there was a place just like this in Omaha. We always stopped when we drove through. I totally forgot this place was here.” You peered down at the menu of the dodgy diner. Dean sat across from you, studying the same menu.

The two of you sat in the corner of the small eatery, only joined by an older man at the bar, obviously a trucker, and a homeless man drifting off on the other side of the building, still half-clutching a cup of coffee.

Dean smiled and nodded, peering up from his menu. “Yeah, it hasn’t changed a bit. It’s like they are all exactly the same. Still better than Biggerson’s, though.” You laughed.

“Yeah, definitely. Their milkshakes are the best! I’m hoping they still are.”

Dean grinned. “Well, let’s find out. I’m not going to eat a big meal then go back to sleep. But, I’ll never deny an Oreo milkshake.” Dean slammed his menu shut and nodded. “What’s your poison? No, wait, lemme guess. Mint chocolate chip?”

Your eyes lit up. You hadn’t had a mint chocolate chip milkshake in years. Most places in the middle of nowhere didn’t have that flavor. Vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry, you cold almost hear a waiter say in their ‘I don’t want to freaking be here’ tone. But this small chain in the center of the country had them, and they were heavenly.

“It’s like you know me or something!” you teased him, before closing your own menu.

Dean chuckled as he eyed the server as they approached your table. “It’s like we’re related.” He winked, before turning to the exhausted young man. He couldn’t have been older that twenty.

“What can I get you?” he droned, his eyes half open. You glanced over at your brother, then back to the young man.

“A mint chocolate chip milkshake please,” you beamed. You smiled, realizing that you were already starting to feel better. You watched as Dean ordered, feeling like you didn’t have a care in the world for the first time in a while.

You all had been hunting for months without any sort of real break. No wonder your mind was on the verge of exploding. You definitely needed to have more breaks and distractions to counterbalance the violent, crazy crap you dealt with day in and day out. But, your brothers were work horses, so that always proved a little difficult.

“Hey, do you think drinking a giant, sugary milkshake is going to be the solution to get me to sleep?” you realized, leaning back in your heavily cracked booth.

Dean shrugged. “Sugar actually helps in a weird way. You eat or drink a bunch of it, fill yourself with sugar, then crash and sleep. Or, the shear amount of food will put you in some type of food-induced coma.” You nodded slowly. It did make sense, weirdly enough.

“Do you think that’s the healthiest thing to do?”

“No, Bitz. But it doesn’t hurt every once in a while. It’s healthier than pulling an all-nighter, then running all around town the next day.” That was true. Plus, there was no way you were going to say no to sugar, whether it was just before sunrise, or sunset. You hadn’t hopped onto Sam’s kale salad bandwagon quite yet.

Within minutes, the server returned with your glorious milkshakes, and a full refill container. The moment your treat was placed down in front of you, you smiled up at your brother in thanks.

The next twenty minutes were quiet, other than the ravenous slurps that came from your straws. Dean finished a few minutes before you, instantly leaning back in his seat.

“Holy shit, that hit the spot.” He smiled as he closed his eyes, instantly in a food coma. You giggled.

“How you didn’t get a single brain freeze baffles me,” you teased, scooting your cup a little closer. A thin line of red light beamed along the horizon, reminding you that you had basically pulled an all-nighter. But, you didn’t care nearly as much as you did before. A sense of peace had enveloped you, or maybe it was the beginning of your own food coma. Either way, you felt a heck of a lot better.

“Thanks, Dean,” you whispered, offering a frozen smile. Dean returned the gesture and nodded.

“Hey, it worked when we were kids. I was sure it was going to work now.” You furrowed your brow.

“What?”

“Yeah, when we came to one of these as kids, Dad would let us order milkshakes. I know you remember. But, what you probably don’t remember is that once you got back in the car, you were out like a light. I don’t even know if the sugar ever got a chance to get to you. I think it was just the comfort food or somethin’.” Dean laughed.

Now that you thought of it, you didn’t really remember the ride afterwards. You just remember waking up just after sunrise, either in the car or arriving home. And, well, that would explain why.

You closed your eyes for a minute, feeling the intense fullness in your stomach. Maybe you were skipping the sugar high yet again, and satiety was leading you straight to real exhaustion.

“Wow, you’re a lightweight,” Dean poked as he lifted from his seat, tossing some money onto the table. You huffed out a chuckle, a little too tired to come up with a witty comeback. “C’mon kid, let’s get you home. You’re going to need some sleep if Sam is going to drag you all over hell tomorrow—uh, today.”

You nodded as you slowly slid out from behind the table. Your brother was already five steps ahead of you, stomping his way towards the door. You slowly followed behind, smiling as you watched him toss a five-dollar bill onto the sleeping homeless man’s table. Then, he opened the door, and waited for you to exit with him.

The moment you settled into your seat, you leaned your head back, resting your head on the top of the back rest. Your eyes were heavy, and your body was practically deadweight. Dean peered over at you as the engine roared to life. He patted your shoulder before putting the car in gear and heading for home.

A long, shuddered sigh left you as you settled into your seat. It was going to be a good twenty minutes or so before you were home. But, your eyes weren’t going to stay open for that long. So, you closed them as you yawned. Within moments, sleep slowly enveloped you, and you weren’t going to fight.

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thefanficmonster · 4 years

Text

You Never Notice

Sykkuno x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Summary: The center of someone’s world is never aware of their importance even when everyone else is in the know. People are hard to understand, no denying, but if we all spilled our truth like how Y/N admitted her feelings to Sykkuno, mutual understanding would be achieved a lot more easily. JK, she needed an eternity and maybe a thousand pushes. What’s important is the result though, right?

Requested by Anon. You are my first Sykkuno request and I wish I could thank you with a tag. Instead, I’m gonna thank you with a fic in which I put my all. Thank you for the request, hope the final product doesn’t let you down. 🥰

Here we go again. Sykkuno’s love life is brought up. This time it’s more frustrating cause I can’t shout how wrong he is about himself and the effect he has on the people around him. He has no room to speak, he hasn’t experienced what I have - one of your best friends living in your head rent-free because you’re just that whipped by them. That’s right kids, some of us never grow past the middle school crushes - they are a constant for some. That can be a good or a bad thing, it completely depends on how you view it.

Currently, him and Rae are addressing some dating rumors that started spreading about them earlier this week while Felix, Sean and I are kicking each other’s butts in Party Animals. We’re not all playing together, actually, we were all playing different games when we hopped into the call and just grouped together after playing solo got boring. Rae and Sykkuno are playing Among Us on a random server, her being the only person who’s streaming right now. She said she just wanted to clear up the dating rumors cause they were annoying to see popping up on her feed on every social media platform she’s active on.

“It’s ridiculous, really. People just look for online personalities to put in imaginary relationships. Are they that bored? I know quarantine is getting to everyone, but damn“ Rae says, laughing a bit to take the edge off her words but I know she’s bothered by this ordeal more than she’s letting on. I know how much it bothers her when people ship random youtubers and streamers together, even when she’s not involved.

And I agree. Ever since I started streaming I’ve been shipped with my friends left and right. First Corpse, then Dave, Joel...you name them. It gets kinda gross cause these people are legit like siblings to me. Unlike Rae, though, I don’t waste my breath trying to clear those ‘talks of the net’ up. I don’t know if it’s for better of for worse that I remain silent on the issue when I’m involved but am willing to stand up for my friends when they find themselves in a similar situation. Some people think the reason I don’t share my thoughts is because the rumors are true, but the hint is most often taken, resulting in the ship ending. Well, that ship ending, there’s always a new one popping up. As Rae said, it’s ridiculous.

“Why does everyone think I am ever dating anyone? I’ve already commented on this: no one would date me.“ Sykkuno says through a sigh-like laugh.

“Why are you so sure?“ I blurt out without as much as a second thought

My eyes widen just a bit, just a bit. I’m not too surprised with myself. I am slowly losing control of my raging emotions and I’m afraid of what I’ll turn into when all my restraints snap. A mess, that’s the most likely answer.

“Well....“ Sykkuno trails off, clearly more than a little nervous, “I don’t have a girlfriend right now, and I haven’t had one in a while...Nor has a girl shown any interest to be more than friends with me in what feels like forever.“

“I’m sure you just don’t notice the hints girls drop. We can be pretty subtle.“ I try to sound as nonchalant as possible while I’m still in my panicked animal mode. And by animal I mean a cub. A scared cub that is now showing confidence but will run and hide right afterwards. I silently thank the universe that I’m not streaming right now. I can feel the heat on my neck and cheeks which is pure embarrassment and would have been more than evident on-camera.

“Yeah Y/N’s right, Sykkuno. Girls can be very subtle, but they will always let you know if they like you, even through the smallest of gestures. You gotta keep your eyes open.“ Rae backs me up reassuringly.

“Guys never notice anything.“ I say, rolling my eyes. I feel the pressure lessen thanks to Rae’s involvement in the conversation.

“That’s not true.“ Sean protests, “We pay close attention, especially to girls we are attracted to.“

“Yeah!“ Sykkuno pipes in again, “I’m pretty sure I would notice if a girl was dropping signals that she likes me.“

Now that stings. That legit makes me wince and cringe as though his voice delivered an actual physical hit to my chest and stomach. It’s really unpleasant, painful even.

“You never notice.“ There’s something about this triple opportunity - proving him wrong that he’d catch onto a girl’s signals; proving him wrong that girls aren’t attracted to him; coming clean about the biggest emotional struggle I’ve experienced in recent years; - that snaps my last emotional restraints. I will totally regret this later, but after the regret comes the relief which is 100% worth it.

“What?“ He sounds very puzzled. I can just about imagine him frowning as he tries to wrap his brain around something even I can’t wrap mine around.

“You say you’d notice a girl’s hints of attraction. OK.“ I nonchalantly throw Felix off the submarine in Party Animals while I keep talking, “Would you notice if a girl purposely doesn’t kill you in Among Us when she’s impostor? Or would you notice that a girl always sends you links to videos she finds funny? Or that she always shares music and movie recommendations with you and you only?“

Dead silence ensues. I feel like they have all glitched, considering Sean didn’t even try to put up a fight when I lifted him and threw him in the ocean as I previously did with Felix’s avatar.

Maybe I was a tad too specific and made the whole situation hit a little too close to home for me.

Sykkuno and I have become really close friends and we chat and play games regularly. As I mentioned, I give him movie and music recommendations and I only recently started acknowledging the fact that I’ve never killed him in Among Us. Natural instinct I guess. In fact, I feel the need for vengeance when he’s killed. I refuse to even vote for him unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Now that I think about it, it’s not his fault he has no clue. I just don’t know how to properly drop hints.

“Um...I mean, I guess I would notice but I’d never think they are that type of hints.“ He finally replies.

On point there, dear. On damn point.

“What does it take for you to be convinced that a girl is into you?“ Who cares that a bunch of people are about to witness this outpour? It’ll make it more real, yes, but it will also help me believe that it happened so I don’t try to crawl back to the point where return is an option. No return now. You’ve already passed two thirds of the way. The last one will set you and your mind free.

“The only way I can be sure is if she tells me, really.“ He sounds so nervous and shy, like he’s trying to draw as little attention as possible.

He doesn’t have to worry. I’m about to pull all the attention on me.

“Well in that case....you leave me no other choice.“ My screen displays me as the winner of this round of Party Animals - an easy one considering my friends are glitched in real life. “I like you, Sykkuno. I like you a lot. And I know you will see it from every context except the one its meant to be in so I’ll be even more head-on - I’ve liked you, as more than a friend for quite some time now, but buddy, you can be sooo oblivious sometimes. Anyway...“ Here’s that regret I was talking about, it’s already creeping in. “Don’t feel the need to say it back. I don’t wanna hear it if you don’t mean it. And Rae,“ I can’t help but laugh at the thought, “Sorry for making your chat go crazy. Peace!“

And I disconnect from the Discord call.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?“ I say out loud, staring at my desktop. “The cat’s out of the bag and you can move on now.“

I push myself to get some work done in order to get my mind off the mess I’ve created. I’m afraid of thinking about it, I know I’ll get too upset to do anything with the rest of my day if I do.

Suddenly, just as I’m about to open my email, my phone chimes. My brain doesn’t bother to stop my arm from automatically reaching out and checking the notification. A message.

From Sykkuno.

~ I knew you didn’t suggest me ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ for no reason

Me ~ So...?

~ So, I’m not the only oblivious one here, Y/N

Me ~ Wait WHAT?

~ ‘Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist’?

Me ~ Oooohhhh...I see

It takes him a few seconds to reply, the bubble with the three bouncing dots popping up and disappearing a few times now. I just now feel my heart banging against the inside of my ribcage, my pulse echoing in my ears.

He did seem a little too eager for me to watch that movie...

~ So, movie date?

I laugh, wholeheartedly and honestly. Genuine joy running through my veins.

Me ~ So it is.

The grin that is now decorating my features promises to stay there for the rest of the day. I bite my bottom lip at the thought that pops into my head.

Me ~ Phew, I can stop sparing you in Among Us from now on

He sends me three cry-laughing emojis in return, but I don’t need those. I can just imagine him laughing as he usually does with one hand covering his mouth. And here I thought my grin couldn’t grow wider.

Imagining him happy makes me smile. His happiness makes me happy. He makes me happy.

Even better...

I think the feeling’s mutual.

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