#never have i felt more like a stranger in my parents house than tonight

[arts-and-maths]

.

[ortegahaze]

anyone but you

[part one] | part two | part three | part four |

pairing: Tara Carpenter x gn!reader

synopsis: Tara and you, despite having mutual friends, have never met—until a Blackmore University fraternity party brings your paths together. The night is amazing, but the next morning is a disaster, and both of you hope never to see each other again. What you didn’t anticipate is that your best friends are getting married, and now you'll be forced to spend time together at their destination wedding.

warnings: no ghostface au, mentions of alcohol, fluff in the beginning, angst, bad writing, language, slight change in characters' age, mentions of a dead parent, “enemies” to lovers!

a/n: yes yes, totally inspired by the movie anyone but you, if you haven’t watched it, there will be spoilers. not sure if i liked this first chapter that much, next ones will be better, i promise🤞🏼

word count: 5,8k

—

Tara Carpenter loved to party, but mostly because she would always attend the fraternity houses’ parties with her friends who also attended Blackmore University. Unfortunately for her, it seemed that all her usual companions decided to skip the party tonight without bothering to tell her until the last minute.

There she was, dressed up as a pirate, frowning at her phone where her friends’ messages popped up, saying they wouldn’t be going. That was it—the start of a terrible Friday night. She considered going back home, feeling like a sad loser. But she knew exactly what awaited her there: Sam and Danny probably making out on the couch—or worse. Huffing, she shoved her phone into her back pocket, mustering the courage to enter the Omega Kappa Beta party by herself.

The music was loud, but good. Everyone was enjoying it with red cups held high. She made her way to the trashed kitchen, searching for something strong to help her loosen up and forget that her best friends had abandoned her for the night.

After three cups, she was already stumbling. The loud bass thumped through her chest, her head spinning just enough to make her a bit queasy. Needing a break, she headed for the pool area, which seemed quieter and less chaotic.

She slumped down onto one of the chairs, letting the cool night air hit her face. Maybe this night wasn’t a total disaster, but it sure wasn’t the wild, fun night she had imagined. She closed her eyes, the alcohol swirling in her system, trying to relax.

“Tara?” A voice interrupted her thoughts.

Opening her eyes and looking up, she saw a guy standing beside her. He had a kind of frat-boy look—probably one of the OKB members. Despite being a sophomore law student, Tara had never bothered to learn the names of these guys.

“Yeah?” she mumbled, squinting against the pool lights.

“You good?” the guy asked, concern creasing his forehead.

“Yeah, just… letting the alcohol wear off.” She slurred slightly, trying to sound more sober than she felt. The guy didn’t seem convinced but smiled anyway, offering his hand.

“I’m Frankie,” he said.

She hesitated before shaking his hand, her mind sluggish but wary. “Tara,” she replied.

He motioned toward the house. “You want some water? I can grab some for you in the kitchen.”

She nodded, standing up to follow him. “Yeah, that’d be nice,” she mumbled. Something felt off, but she pushed the thought away, blaming the alcohol for making her overly cautious.

As they walked back toward the house, she noticed fewer people by the pool. It was quieter, the conversations distant. That’s when Frankie spoke up again. “You know what? I have a minibar in my room. We can grab water there, and you can use the bathroom too if you need it.”

Tara’s stomach dropped. The convenient offer set off alarm bells in her head, her instincts kicking in despite the fog of alcohol. Why was he suddenly suggesting his room?

Before she could respond, someone stepped up next to Frankie, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, babe. I was looking for you! I finished my set for the night. We can go home now,” the stranger said smoothly.

She blinked, processing the situation. What?

Frankie glanced at the newcomer’s hand, visibly confused. “Uh…”

“I can see you’ve already met my girlfriend, Frankie,” the stranger continued with a casual smile. “That’s great, but we’ve gotta go now. She’s been having trouble sleeping lately, so I think it’s time we head out. Thanks for taking care of her while I was working tonight.”

Tara felt the stranger’s arm slip around her shoulder. The warmth and casualness of the embrace was oddly comforting, even though she had no idea who this person was. Still, she went along with the act, instincts telling her to trust this stranger over Frankie.

“Yeah, thanks, Frankie,” Tara echoed awkwardly. “We… uh… have to get going.”

Intertwining her fingers with the stranger’s, Tara took the first step, guiding them away from Frankie. Her heart raced—not from fear, but from the strangeness of the whole situation. She wasn’t used to needing to be rescued, especially not by someone who appeared out of nowhere.

When they were far enough from Frankie and back in the kitchen, Tara dropped the stranger’s hand. “Thank you… That was really nice of you.”

“Happy to help,” you replied, rummaging through the fridge. “Frankie’s not the type to handle rejection well, if you know what I mean… and by the look on your face, you were about to reject him.”

Tara flushed, embarrassment creeping up her neck. She wasn’t used to being seen as vulnerable. She hated feeling like she couldn’t handle herself. “Yeah, I was,” she admitted, brushing off her embarrassment with a small smile. “Thanks again.”

The stranger turned around, holding a bottle of water. “No problem. I’m Y/N, by the way.” You extended a hand.

She shook it, noticing how your grip was firm yet gentle. “I’m Tara,” she replied, her voice a little quieter this time. She found herself holding onto your hand for a bit too long before quickly letting go, feeling the touch linger longer than it should have. She cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure. “Uh, is there a bathroom around here?”

You pointed down the hallway. “Yeah, just down there.”

“Thanks,” Tara muttered, handing over the water and heading to the bathroom. Leaving you confused as you stand there with her water. Waiting.

She shut the door behind her and sat on the toilet seat, immediately pulling out her phone while peeing. Her fingers trembled slightly, the adrenaline of the night still buzzing through her as she quickly dialed Mindy. When Mindy picked up, Tara didn’t even wait for a greeting.

��Mindy, I just met this person, and I don’t know… It was something. They saved me from what could’ve been a really messy situation. But like… now what? I don’t even know them, but there was this… connection? Ugh, I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it.” Tara paused, shaking her head at her own words. “I gotta go. I’ll call you back.”

Tara finished washing her hands and looked at herself in the mirror, her brown eyes staring back. She took a deep breath, brushing her fingers lightly over her fringe, as if steadying herself. "Okay," she whispered, gathering her resolve.

Stepping out of the bathroom, she navigated back toward the kitchen, dodging a couple passionately making out near the door, grimacing slightly as she passed them. Her eyes scanned the room until they locked onto yours, and she couldn’t help but smile awkwardly when you handed her the bottle of water.

“Your water,” you said, grinning.

“Thanks.” She took it, and for a moment, the two of you held each other’s gaze, a silent understanding passing between you. You started to say something, but she beat you to it, breaking the silence with a small, resigned smile.

“Well, I think I should call it a night,” she said with a soft sigh. “I’ve had my share of excitement.”

Your smile faltered just a bit, but you quickly recovered, masking any disappointment. As she moved to leave, you hesitated, your mind racing. You turned, watching her head toward the entrance, and something compelled you to act.

“Hey…” you called, stepping quickly after her. She paused, turning with a curious look.

“So, are you gonna ask me out now?” she teased, a playful glint in her eyes as she interrupted whatever you’d been about to say. Her comment took you by surprise, but you broke into a smile, catching onto the playful challenge in her tone.

“Yeah,” you replied, mirroring her smile. “Yeah, I am.” You both shared a quick laugh, then walked toward the door together, side by side.

As you walked out into the night, Tara looked up at you, her curiosity piqued. “You know… I go to a lot of these parties. How come I’ve never seen you around?”

Stuffing your hands into your pockets, you chuckled. “I’m not a student anymore. Graduated last year, but a friend of mine who still goes here got me to DJ tonight.” You let out a wry laugh. “Of course, he didn’t even bother showing up.”

She smirked. “Oh, sounds familiar. My friends did the same to me tonight.”

The streets were mostly empty, with the city’s usual hum softened at this late hour. Streetlights cast long shadows that flickered as you walked, and a few blocks away from the chaos of the party, Tara seemed more grounded, though her steps were still a bit unsteady from the alcohol.

“So,” you said, breaking the silence as you walked alongside her. “What about you? What do you study?”

Tara hugged herself, more from a sense of vulnerability than the chill in the air. She glanced over at you, her expression guarded but curious. “I study law.” she replied, then added reluctantly. Her voice had an almost clipped quality, and you noticed the way she quickly redirected the conversation. “And you? What’s your story?”

Noticing her attempt to shift the topic, you chuckled. “I started out in computer science. That’s what my parents wanted, and it sounded like a solid career, so I went with it for a while. Did a couple of semesters.”

“Computer science?” She raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised. “Didn’t peg you for the type to spend your days coding.”

“Neither did I,” you admitted, giving her a wry smile. “Eventually, I couldn’t stand it. I switched over to music production—that’s what I’d always wanted to do anyway.”

She nodded, seemingly intrigued despite herself. “I bet your parents weren’t thrilled with the change, huh?”

You shrugged, eyes on the sidewalk ahead. “Not at first. But eventually, they came around. And if worse comes to worst, I can always fall back on tech if I need to.”

Tara’s interest was clearly piqued as she glanced at you thoughtfully. “So, you just sit in a studio with those fancy soundboards?”

You laughed. “Something like that. Mostly, though, it’s me with my laptop, some recording equipment, and way too much caffeine. But I love it—taking random sounds and turning them into something people can connect to.”

She seemed to admire your passion, though she tried to keep her expression casual. “Sounds like you actually went after what you wanted,” she mused, almost to herself.

You smiled at her comment, feeling the quiet camaraderie that had formed between you. “So… you want to keep hanging out for a bit? My place isn’t far from here. I’d offer coffee, but it’s a bit late for that. I make a killer grilled cheese, though.”

Tara raised an eyebrow, both surprised and amused. “Inviting a girl you just met over for grilled cheese? That’s bold.”

You rubbed the back of your neck, grinning. “I like to think so. But no pressure. If you’d rather call it a night, I get it.”

She paused, considering the offer. The sincerity in your expression was unmistakable, and after the strange night she’d had, she found herself craving something simple, something real. With a nod, she finally agreed, letting a genuine smile slip through.

“Alright,” she replied, matching your smile with a smirk. “Let’s see if you’ve got any real culinary skills.”

The two of you continued down the quiet streets, the city’s glow casting a soft light as you walked together. The conversation flowed easily, shifting from one topic to the next as you shared bits and pieces of yourselves.

The conversation moved from childhood stories to other random facts—Tara mentioned she used to collect keychains, and you told her about the time you accidentally broke into the wrong apartment while trying to help a neighbor. The night air carried your laughter, mingling with the rustling leaves and the distant hum of traffic.

—

The two of you stood near the kitchen counter, your movements methodical as you crafted the grilled cheese the way you always did—spreading butter on the bread and layering two slices of cheese. After adding butter to the skillet, you waited for it to melt before placing the sandwich on it, flipping it with the spatula as it browned.

Tara’s eyes wandered around your warehouse-turned-apartment, taking in the cozy but modest space. Music equipment cluttered one corner, while old vinyl records filled the shelves along the walls. She leaned against the counter, her gaze shifting between you and the space, but lingering mostly on you.

“So,” she asked with a playful smirk, “do you invite strangers over for late-night sandwiches often?”

Without looking up from the stove, you chuckled. “Only the ones who look like they’d appreciate my culinary skills. You seemed like the type.”

She rolled her eyes, but a cute smile played on her lips, you could even see her dimples clearly.

As you flipped the sandwich again, the smell filled the small kitchen, and Tara found herself relaxing, slowly letting her guard down in this oddly comforting moment. It had been a long time since she’d experienced a night that felt spontaneous, even a little reckless.

When the sandwich was done, you cut it in half and handed it to her on a plate. “Wait to cool down—” Almost immediately, she bit into it, only to wince and fan her mouth.

“Oh, fuck, that’s hot!” she exclaimed, laughing through the pain between painful chews.

You stifled a laugh. “I literally just took it off the stove. What did you expect?”

“Oh, my God.”

“If you’re gonna be a lawyer, you gotta understand negligence and breach and…” She furrowed her eyebrows and turned her head to look up at you. “McDonald’s versus that lady’s…” You locked eyes with her, noticing her judgmental look. “Habeas corpus.”

Tara chuckled, swallowing carefully. “You absolutely just butchered those terms,” she said, narrowing her eyes and shooting you a mock glare. “Maybe I should represent you in a case against yourself.”

You were both facing each other, holding eye contact as you playfully teased her. “How do you know? You’re not a lawyer yet.” She gave you a disbelieving look. “It’s not too late to choose a more noble profession!”

“Oh, like you?” She nodded toward the computer desk you’d left on from working earlier. You took a bite of the sandwich and followed her gaze.

“You know what? You’re right. Stick with it. I’m gonna need a lawyer to read my contracts at some point.” She chuckled softly. Looking back at her, you smiled.

The two of you stood there, the playful banter bringing warmth to the room that neither of you had expected. She chewed more carefully now, and as she finished the bite, her gaze softened.

“I don’t even know if I want to be a lawyer,” Tara blurted, almost as if she hadn't meant to. She stared at the half-eaten sandwich in her hands, looking embarrassed. “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.”

You paused, unsure how to respond, but instead of words, you gently reached out and wiped a bit of cheese from the corner of her mouth with your thumb. The gesture was intimate, more so than you’d intended, and for a moment, the room seemed to grow quieter.

She sighed, her voice dropping. “My mom’s a lawyer. I thought maybe if I followed in her footsteps, things would make sense. But… I feel like it isn’t really me.”

There was a small silence, but instead of pressing, you just gave her a supportive nod. “You don’t have to figure it all out now.”

She smiled gratefully and took another bite, the tension lifting again as you both relaxed into the conversation. The two of you laughed, easing the awkwardness. You took another bite, an unconscious smile lingering on your face. With Tara around, you almost felt like a different person. She brushed the back of her hand where yours had touched, glancing back at you.

“I’m sorry… My life is a disaster right now.”

“Might be turning a corner,” you shrugged, showing compassion for her struggle, making eye contact again. “You just met me!”

Tara grinned. “Yeah, or I could end up in a suitcase.” You chuckled. “I mean… you’ve got some, uh, serial killer vibes going on here. Why do you have a giant wrench?” She pointed to the large wrench sitting on the vinyl rack. You looked at it and smiled.

“Okay, harsh,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. “It wouldn’t be a suitcase. It would be a carry-on, thank you very much. You’re about zero feet tall,” you teased, referencing her small stature. She shot you a light glare, making you smile. You glanced back at the wrench. “And my mom gave me that.” At this, Tara raised her eyebrows, paying closer attention. “It’s a reminder that no matter how broken something is, there’s always a way to fix it.”

She nodded at your words, pressing her lips together and closing her eyes briefly.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m talking to you about my mom right now.” You squinted and shook your head, letting out a small chuckle.

Vulnerability hit you for a moment. You weren’t one to share much about your late mother with friends, let alone 'strangers' like Tara, but something about her made you feel at ease—like you could talk about the topic that usually tightened your chest.

Tara’s gaze softened. “No worries. That’s actually kind of sweet,” she smiled gently. “Now, tell me about that!” She pointed to an ATM machine in the corner, raising an eyebrow.

You smiled and nodded at the machine, which was in perfect condition, the screen still on. “That… is a long story!” You put your sandwich back on the plate and noticed her frowning at you. “Everybody survived!”

“Great!” She laughed, and you followed, the sound echoing through the small apartment. As the laughter died down, Tara took a deep breath, savoring the moment. She felt unexpectedly comfortable there—with you, in your quirky apartment, and with the smell of burnt cheese still lingering in the air.

In your mind, maybe that was the moment you started to hear romantic background music. You bickered and laughed together, even sharing a few silly dance moves in the kitchen after getting some water.

Tara eventually curled up on the sofa as you cleaned up the counter, chatting and laughing loudly from across the room. She teased you about your random quirks, and you responded with good-natured jabs, both of you secretly enjoying the strange, comforting ease. It didn’t take long for you to join her on the couch.

Letting the night unfold, an unexpected bond formed over random topics. Tara eventually settled on your lap, your hands resting on the skin of her waist beneath her silky shirt, facing you. The laughter slowly faded into quieter moments, one of you wrapped around the other. Lingering glances and more meaningful conversations pulled you closer until you both drifted off as dawn approached, feeling more at home than you had in a long time.

Soft morning light filtered through the large living room windows, casting a warm glow across the loft. Tara stirred and blinked awake, feeling a warm weight around her shoulders and waist. She found herself nestled against you, your arm draped over her, your breathing steady and calm.

But the quiet, comfortable intimacy triggered a rush of anxiety in her. Nudging her to move before things got too complicated. She knew she should say something, but no words came, and a sense of urgency pushed her to leave before things got more tangled.

Carefully, she slipped out from under your arm, holding her breath to keep from waking you. With deliberate silence, she stood up to put her shoes on, but one slipped from her hand and fell to the floor, betraying her. She winced and glanced back quickly, not seeing you stir from where she stood.

Your eyes blinked open as you took in the empty space beside you. You craned your neck toward the noise that had woken you, and your expression shifted from confusion to quiet disappointment as you watched her getting ready to leave without so much as a backward glance or goodbye. You held back the urge to say something, but the silence in the room felt suddenly heavy, filled with words left unsaid.

She walked down the stairs to the door, and as it clicked shut behind her, Tara hesitated for the briefest second, almost turning back. But then the weight of the moment became too much to bear. Meanwhile, you leaned back on the couch, staring at the empty space for a long moment, letting the silence settle over you like a heavy blanket.

Eventually, you got up, grabbing fresh clothes to wear before heading back to the living room. You tried to shake Tara from your mind, still feeling the ache of her sudden departure. But as you looked at the wrench, you almost stopped in your tracks. You walked over to it, picking it up in your hands and recalling how you had shared a part of your story that only your close friends knew. You thought Tara would stick around, at least for a while.

You didn’t have much more quiet time for introspection before you heard the door open. You turned your head so fast at the sound that you felt a slight disappointment upon realizing it was only your best friend.

His voice echoed up the stairs. “Yo, let's go, Y/N/N! Come on, cupcake! We’re gonna be late!”

“S'up, C?” You sat down in your computer desk chair, still not fully giving him your attention.

Chad stepped inside with his usual boisterous energy, walking around and dropping his bike helmet on the kitchen counter. He glanced at the skillet on the stove, noticing the remnants of last night's grilled cheese.

“Whoa. Did you cook? Wait… did you bring home a girl to stay over?” you didn’t respond, your eyes fixed on the large wrench in your hands, turning it over absentmindedly. Chad moved closer, munching on a leftover piece of grilled cheese as he gave you a puzzled look.

“Dude, what are you doing with that? Why do you have the giant wrench?” He took it from your hands, examining it. After a few seconds, he pieced it together. “Wait—You told her about your mom, bro? You never talk about your mom with anyone.” His tone softened.

You looked toward the door that he left open, a pained smile crossing your face as you didn’t disagree with his assumptions. “Yeah, I did. Not sure what I was thinking.”

Chad let out a low whistle, eyebrows raised. “Fuck. You’ve got it bad, don’t you? You’re in love!” He put the tool back in its place and turned back to you. “About freaking time, too. You’re totally in love!” He squealed the last part, unable to contain his excitement.

Trying to brush it off, you shook your head, a hint of bitterness coloring your tone. “Fuck that. Not that it matters. I couldn’t get her out of here fast enough.” You looked at him with a straight face, attempting to mask the sting of your words. “This girl’s a disaster… she’s a nothing.”

—

Minutes before slipping out of the house, Tara walked along the quiet sidewalk, pulling her phone from her pocket as she dialed Mindy. The line barely rang before Mindy picked up, her voice tinged with early morning sleepiness.

“Tara? What’s going on?”

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Sorry to wake you. I just… I don’t know. Remember the person I met last night? They’re… so fucking great, Mindy. We kind of walked around the city, talked, and, I don’t know, we spent the night together and fell asleep talking. It felt… different. Like I didn’t have to keep my guard up.”

“Oh, it was like that, huh?” Mindy’s voice perked up, her interest piqued. “So, what happened after all that?”

A silence stretched between them as Tara paused on the sidewalk. She hesitated, her expression clouded with uncertainty. “I… I left before they woke up.”

Mindy groaned on the other end of the line. “What??? You’re kidding. Why would you just bail? If they’re as great as you’re saying…”

“I don’t know why! Why did I?” Tara blurted, stopping mid-step and glancing back in the direction she’d come from. “What the fuck am I doing? Should I go back?”

“Seems like you already know the answer,” Mindy said gently. “Just go! Find out what this is.”

“Okay, I love you. Bye!” Tara managed a small smile. “I'm so sorry I woke you up. This whole thing is so new to me. Bye!” Her footsteps quickened as she retraced her steps to the building.

“I love you, T. You’ve got this.” Mindy smiled before hanging up, hurrying her steps.

As Tara approached the door, she noticed it was open. Furrowing her eyebrows, she stopped in her tracks when she heard Chad’s familiar voice from inside. His back was facing her, so she didn’t know who the guy was. She certainly wasn’t prepared to hear your sharper tone following in disagreement about you being in love.

“I couldn’t get her out of here fast enough.” “This girl’s a disaster… She’s a nothing.”

The words landed with a crushing weight, stealing her breath and pinning her to the spot. She felt her chest tighten, a surge of hurt and anger rising within her as she turned on her heel and walked away, quickening her pace as if the farther she got, the less it would hurt. She’d let herself be vulnerable, just for a moment, and this was what it had gotten her.

She didn’t stop until she rounded the corner, the city coming to life around her—a stark reminder of the distance she intended to keep. She had allowed herself to believe, just for a moment, that maybe things could be different. But she wouldn’t make that mistake again.

—

Six months had passed since that fateful night, and neither you nor Tara had crossed each other’s paths again. The silence between you both was deafening, leaving nothing but the bitter ache of unfinished business. You had carried on, pretending that the encounter hadn’t left a mark, but you couldn’t shake the lingering memory of Tara slipping away without a word. Each time you tried to forget, the night resurfaced—like a song stuck on repeat. Every quiet moment felt like a reminder that you’d let something slip through your fingers, even if you wouldn’t admit it to yourself.

Tara, on the other hand, had moved on—at least, that’s what she told herself. She had rekindled her relationship with Wes, her first love, and now she was engaged to him once again. There was comfort in the familiar, in the steady future she thought they were meant to have. Yet, sometimes, late at night, when she was alone, Tara’s mind wandered back to that night with you. She hated herself for it. She’d tell herself it had been a mistake, a lapse in judgment, but that didn’t stop the quiet tug in her chest—a reminder of vulnerability, of something she couldn’t fully ignore. And so, she buried it deeper, clinging to Wes and the life they were building.

Still, neither of you had expected to meet again—until tonight.

The bar was alive with energy, the thrum of chatter and laughter filling the space. Mindy and Anika had orchestrated the night, inviting everyone out for a casual reunion. You and Chad arrived a little late, fresh from a lively Korean dinner, your usual laid-back attitude masking the subtle undercurrent of tension that had become all too familiar since that night. As you made your way through the bar, exchanging handshakes and hugs, your attention briefly flitted to the crowd. Anika grinned, subtly pointing out a group of attractive girls seated near the bar.

You raised an eyebrow and nudged Chad. “Looks like there’s potential,” you joked, but the moment was fleeting.

Across the room, Tara had just stepped through the door, her heart skipping a beat when she spotted her best friend waving her over. She smiled, though it faltered when her eyes scanned the faces in the crowd. Something about tonight felt off—familiar in a way she couldn’t quite place.

Mindy greeted her enthusiastically. “Tara! Get over here!” she called. Tara made her way over, her steps slowing slightly as her gaze settled on Chad… and then it clicked. You were there. Her pulse quickened.

Chad wrapped her in a hug before Mindy nudged him aside, beaming as she gestured between you and Tara. “Y/N, come say hi!” she called, oblivious to the growing tension. “Tara, meet one of my dearest childhood friends,” Anika added with a smile, making it clear that you and she shared a long history.

The second your eyes met Tara’s, the world seemed to stop. For a fleeting moment, neither of you moved, both taken aback by the unexpected confrontation. Tara’s chest tightened. How had you ended up here? She didn’t need this. Not tonight.

Your face hardened, instinctively putting up a wall. “Hey,” you said, your voice flat.

She crossed her arms, her tone equally sharp. “Yeah.”

Mindy’s brows shot up. “Wait, do you two… know each other?”

You answered too quickly. “We’ve met.”

“Barely.” Tara’s reply came just as fast. Her eyes narrowed, the distance between you two palpable.

Anika blinked in surprise. “That’s so random.”

Tara, visibly uncomfortable, nodded toward the bar. “I’m going to get a drink,” she muttered, ready to escape.

You couldn’t resist the smirk forming on your lips. “If you’re looking to sneak out, the exit’s that way. I know that’s kinda your thing.”

The law student spun back to face you, her smile cold. “Well, I am a disaster, right?” Her words were laced with venom, a bitter jab that struck deeper than either of you cared to admit.

The group fell into an uneasy silence, but it didn’t last long. Chad, Anika, and Mindy exchanged wary glances before Mindy spoke up, attempting to diffuse the situation. “Okay! Let’s… let’s move on from this.”

Anika quickly chimed in, “Yeah, let’s head back to the table,” motioning for Chad to follow, though their eyes never left the tension between you and Tara.

You faced each other, the weight of everything left unsaid hanging in the air. The banter between you both was sharp, but beneath it, something more vulnerable flickered. There had once been something here, something deeper than either of you wanted to admit, and even now, in the harshness of your words, that connection lingered—bitter but undeniable.

You leaned in, a smirk tugging at your lips. “So, you a lawyer yet?”

Tara’s arms crossed defensively, her eyes narrowing, trying to shield herself from whatever it was you made her feel. “Why? Do you need a defense attorney?”

“I’m just curious how you passed that class on ethics,” you shot back, your tone cutting but with a hint of something softer beneath the surface. “You know, with all the bailing you do on people.”

Her jaw tightened, but something in her eyes flickered—something that said she understood exactly what you meant. It stung, more than either of you would let on.

Meanwhile, at the table, Chad plopped down, looking confused as ever. Mindy snorted, leaning back in her seat, her eyes darting between you and Tara. “I think that’s the alleged jerk who T got with when she was on her break from Wes.”

Anika’s eyes widened as the pieces clicked together. “No way. So T’s the party girl who ghosted them?”

Chad, still lost in thought, nodded slowly. “I thought she looked familiar when I saw her that day… but, you know, I don’t really see faces. I just see souls.”

Anika chuckled softly, shaking her head. “At least they made her realize Wes was the one, right?”

Back at the war field where you and Tara stood, the tension reached a boiling point. Tara’s jaw clenched as she held her left hand up, displaying the ring—a symbol of the life she was trying so hard to convince herself she wanted. “I’m engaged now,” she said sharply, the words coming out more like a challenge than a statement.

Your expression barely flickered, but deep down, something twisted inside—a pang of something you refused to name. “Good for you,” you replied, forcing a dry smile. “Where are you registered? I’ll buy you a broomstick.”

She scoffed, but her smile was tight, forced. “I’ll send you an invite. You still live at 28 Fuckboy Lane?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you, shaking your head. “You do remember. See, it did mean something to you.”

For a moment, something dark and raw flickered in Tara’s eyes, and she took a step closer, her voice dropping to a low whisper filled with venom and regret. “You’ll always be my rock bottom. The night I spent with a bitch.”

Across the bar, Chad squinted, trying to make sense of the distant conversation. “Did she just call Y/N a bitch?”

Anika leaned closer to Mindy, whispering, “Do you think they’re going to physically fight?”

Mindy smirked, her gaze flicking between the two of you. “Or fuck. That’s a fine line.”

Back at the standoff, Tara’s words softened, though the bitterness still lingered. “Let’s just get through tonight for them, okay?”

You gave her a slow nod, your face unreadable but your heart tight. “Fine. I’m getting a drink, and I’ll toast to never seeing you again.” Your words were sharp, but the way you leaned closer, the tension buzzing between you, said otherwise.

Tara met your eyes, her lips curling into a slight, almost playful smile. “Cheers to that, bro.”

You were nearly nose-to-nose, the heat of your proximity almost suffocating when Mindy, Anika, and Chad appeared at your sides, gently pulling you both out of the intensity of the moment.

Mindy spoke first, her voice cutting through the tension with excitement. “Hey, guys, listen up. We actually have some big news.”

Anika’s eyes sparkled as she squeezed Mindy’s hand. “Hey, so the reason we brought you all together—we’re getting married. In Australia. And you’re all coming with us!” The couple squealed frantically.

Both you and Tara blinked in shock, the animosity between you momentarily forgotten, replaced by a different kind of weight. Australia. A wedding. A trip where you would all be together—where you would have to see each other, to deal with everything that still lay between you. There was no running from it now. You were bound by your friends, by the promises of a wedding that would force you both to face what had been left unresolved.

The room seemed to close in, and though the words hung unsaid, you both knew that this was only the beginning of a confrontation you couldn’t escape. For better or worse, you were going to have to deal with each other—whether you liked it or not.

[mypoisonedvine]

𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭 || (kinda)dark!javier peña x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 || he's your dad's best friend, he's a narc, he's the guy you've been calling 'tio' most of your life... so he's not the guy you want to run into when you're out partying a little too hard.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 || 6.5k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || dubcon smut (18+ only; oral f receiving, unprotected sex, reader is under the influence and under duress), age gap (not specified but it's big lol but they are of course both adults), dad's best friend trope, pseudo incest (reader calls javi tio/uncle but they are not related), drug use, jealousy, unprotected sex, orgasm control, rough/aggressive sex, we're talking complete total and permanent gut rearrangement, crying during sex (from overstimulation not like, being sad), hair pulling, 'sir' kink (briefly), creampie, basically just a kinky filthy mess idk what else to say

The bass was so loud you could feel it in every part of you— like your own heartbeat, but everywhere. The throbbing music, the heat, the sweat; it was an overwhelming experience, even before you took the pill… but now, it was transcendent.

Everything was lit up in electric colors, neon pink and green blending together into some impossible color you couldn’t describe; the dancers around you had their arms raised in the air, jumping and swaying with the music, and it reminded you of the waves in the Caribbean Sea— you know, the ones you never had time to go see even though you lived just a few miles from the beach.

Frankly, you didn’t have time for this either: you should be studying for midterms, but the stress of college was becoming overwhelming and you were reaching a breaking point.

Or, maybe you already had, considering this was your coping method. It wasn’t your usual approach, but you hadn’t needed anything this drastic before. Maybe it was because you weren’t just escaping from the stress of school, but from the tension at home with your parents.

Perhaps what was most frustrating about that situation was that you were pretty sure they didn’t even realize how badly they were driving you insane… especially your dad. He didn’t see any problem with the fact that he tried to control every aspect of your life, regardless of your age. You could appreciate them not wanting you to do anything dangerous or harmful— you could even understand the whole ‘my house, my rules’ thing to an extent— but it went too goddamn far every day. You couldn’t go anywhere else without being questioned, yet you couldn’t exist at home without being criticized.

That was why you were here, and here, you weren���t being critiqued or belittled or micromanaged— actually, you were very… well-received, to put it lightly. You’d caught more than a few glances this evening, and now you were getting more than that: they were dancing with you, pressing against you… touching you.

It should’ve felt wrong, but you’d been craving approval of any kind, and the lascivious looks up and down from the guy in the indigo silk shirt felt like a compliment when you had a couple drinks in you.

A hand covered in gold rings groped your ass, and you hummed through a wide smile. He spoke into your ear, but even so close you couldn’t hear anything— it didn’t matter, anyways; you nodded, dazed. You figured the pill was enhancing, if not creating, whatever connection you felt with this stranger, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care how risky it was to go home with him, either, you just needed to feel tonight.

The voice in your ear mumbled something about how sexy you are, and you were about to melt into the arms of whoever it was— but then you heard another voice, just behind you. This voice was familiar; this voice spoke your name, and you turned around sharply.

"Tio!" you gasped as Javier glared down at you; you'd never felt so small in your life. He could do that so easily, but usually by giving you a big bear hug or calling you niña; this was a less pleasant method. “I— what are you—?”

“Work,” he answered shortly, yelling just to be heard. “You shouldn’t be here.”

No, you shouldn’t be anywhere that Javi was working, but you especially shouldn’t be here— a nightclub, known for wild hook-ups and party drugs. Dancing with guys. Wearing a dress you picked out specifically because you liked the way it showed off your… everything.

“What would your daddy think if he saw you like this?” he growled, grabbing you by the arm, and you whimpered but gave in to him— no point arguing, or denying anything, now.

He dragged you through the club, out the back where you could talk without the music drowning everything out. It was still loud until the metal door shut on its own behind you— and even still, you could hear the thumping of the bass, catch a few notes of the melody here and there, but you weren’t really focused on that with Javi giving you the glare of a lifetime.

“Never thought you were that kinda girl,” he frowned.

“I swear, I don’t usually do this, I just… I…”

“You what?” he snapped.

“Sorry, I…” you trailed off again. “Kinda out of it right now, and you’re so… that light’s really bright…” you complained as you squinted at the streetlight behind him.

He grabbed your face suddenly, forcing you to look up at him; you couldn’t believe how he could basically hold your entire face— and control your entire body— with one hand. He used his thumb and pointer finger to hold one of your eyes open wider; you winced and tried to move away, but he managed to get a decent enough look anyways.

“Are you fucking high?” he realized with a snarl.

“I— just one pill,” you whimpered.

“What was it?”

“I… I don’t know for sure…”

“Jesus,” he sneered, dropping your face and crossing his arms. He looked away from you, shaking his head, then put his hands on his hips in that disapproving way he did so well. “What were you thinking?”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, “I just never get to do anything fun— don’t you need to be wild sometimes, do something a little misguided?”

“A little misguided— taking drugs from strangers, from men, letting them… touch you like that…” he shuddered as he said the last part.

You gulped, looking down at the ground. You were kind of hoping he hadn’t seen that, somehow…

Grabbing you by the arm again, he all but threw you in his truck; shrinking in the seat, feeling quite shy despite how you’d been acting just a few minutes ago, you watched him walk around the back in the mirror so he could get in the driver’s side.

There was silence as he started the truck and put an arm around your seat to back out of the alley, silence as he started to drive, silence as you went back and forth between looking over at him sheepishly and staring down at your hands in your lap.

But when you looked out the window at the passing scenery, you narrowed your eyes. "You're…not taking me home?" you realized.

"And give your dad a fuckin' heart attack, you coming home at this hour— dressed like that?"

Your heart sank with guilt.

"No, I'll figure out what to do with you later,” he decided. “I'm guessing you snuck out?"

"I… told him I was staying with a friend…"

"Then he must not be expecting you until morning. You can stay at my place."

"Thank you, Tio, I swear I don't usually do this, thank you so much—"

"Hey. I didn't say I wasn't gonna tell him the truth when I bring you back tomorrow."

You swallowed, glancing out the window as your eyes stung.

~

He sighed as he shut the door, and you sheepishly crossed one arm over your stomach to hold your elbow.

Last time you were in his apartment, it was for some dinner… thing… anyways, your parents were there, as were a bunch of other people they worked with, and you were sure the whole thing would be incredibly fucking boring. It was, for a while, until Javi broke away from the others to talk to you— and he made you laugh, he spared you all the dumb questions about how college was going and talked to you about real stuff: music, dreams, life. You always felt like you could talk to him about the things you could never talk to your parents about…

But you didn’t want to talk to him about this. Especially not when he put his hands on his hips and gave you that stern glare.

“What the hell did you think you were doin’ in a place like that—?” he began but you interrupted with a sigh.

“I’m sorry— I just needed a- a release! You know?” you tried to justify.

He scoffed, rolling his eyes before he glanced away from you; you, meanwhile, looked down with shame. You never expected to feel so guilty for this— if anything, part of you had fantasized about your dad finding out just so you could tell him off in the argument, explain to him that it was his overbearing nature that drove you to something so risque. Of course, now that the likelihood of that argument actually occurring had skyrocketed, it didn’t sound so appealing. “Your dad’s gonna have a cow,” Javi warned you.

“I know! I know,” you groaned, hiding your face in your hands for a second. “But I’m an adult! I should be able to do what I want!”

He scoffed a bit, and you frowned defensively. He obviously resented those times you referred to yourself as an adult— even if he couldn’t deny it, he always acted like it didn’t really count. You weren’t a ‘real adult’ yet in his eyes, still being in college and a bit starry-eyed according to some, and that always bothered you. It’s not that you thought you really had it all figured it out at this age, it’s just that you wanted more respect and more acknowledgement of your efforts.

The look on Javi’s face made you pretty confident you wouldn’t be getting much of that tonight. "Just don't tell him, okay? Please, Tio…"

"I won't tell your old man what you're up to," he promised, and you sighed. "But you need to."

"I— I can't," you whimpered, "he'll lose his shit! You know how protective he is…"

"Clearly he's got a good reason!" Javi snapped, and you spun around— you couldn't look at him now, not after he saw you like that.

"He's gonna kill me," you whimpered, defeated.

He stepped up behind you, wrapping one arm over your chest and holding your shoulder. “S’gonna be okay, sweetie…” he mumbled to you. “He’s not gonna kill you— he loves you."

"But he thinks I'm still a little kid," you explained with a pout.

"He can't help that," Javi laughed softly, kissing the side of your head. "You're grown up now, but you're still his little girl…"

You smiled a bit. "You really think I'm grown up?" you asked weakly.

"Yeah," he assured, "not sure how it happened, but you are— still young, of course."

You laughed a bit, relaxing in his embrace, soothed by the familiar smell of his aftershave and his strong hand rubbing your shoulder. Without either of you saying anything, the air somehow shifted… perhaps because of the way he moved his head, and you could tell that he was looking down at you. Perhaps because he let out a long sigh through his nose that fanned over the top of your head.

His voice was as low as a whisper when he spoke again. "Can't believe how grown up you look dressed like that…"

The fingers of his free hand traced over your thigh, even starting to move inwards, and out of both nervousness and ticklishness you clamped your legs together.

"Aww, don't be shy now," he pouted. "You'll be a whore for all those guys but you're playing innocent with me? Don't even try it, baby, I know what you want…"

You sighed out a long, shaky breath as you relaxed your legs so he could reach between them. It didn't really feel real, especially when you shut your eyes— then it could be anyone touching you.

"I know what this sweet little body needs," he continued, almost whispering as he spoke in your ear, making it impossible to forget it was Javi behind you. "Those little boys can't take care of you… need a real man to treat you right."

"Tio," you gasped as one finger just barely brushed over your panties, "d-don't—"

"Don't what, sweetie?"

"Don't… touch me like that," you breathed. "It's wrong…"

"But you like it so much," he noticed with a smile right beside your ear. "You like the way Uncle Javi is touching you— you like all this attention from your Tio, huh?"

Too afraid to respond to that, you shut your eyes tight as you felt him rub you through your panties more firmly, pulling up the bottom of your dress enough to expose the white cotton covering you.

“Still a good girl underneath your slutty outfit,” he smirked.

“What— what are you do—?” you began to breathe out, until he ran the blunt edge of his fingernail over the seam of your lips through the fabric— when he traced over your clit, your whole body jolted.

“Oh, babygirl,” he cooed, “you know what I’m doing. Say it.”

“You’re… touching me…” you panted out, rocking your hips as he began to rub slow circles against your panties— each with more pressure than the last.

“Where?” he prompted, his voice rough and echoing against the curve of your neck, which he began to kiss passionately a moment later just to make it that much harder for you to speak.

“My… fuck, my pussy!” you managed to get out, and he groaned with pride as his teeth brushed against your pulse.

He suddenly let you go and spun you around, pressing you to the wall and then pressing himself to you in turn. The hard bulge against your hip made your walls throb, but his face made your heart drop— you couldn’t forget it was him, and it felt so fucked up knowing he had just done that to you. You opened your mouth to tell him this couldn’t happen, that it had already gone too far, that you needed to somehow forget this ever happened.

But no words came out; they couldn’t, when he delicately lifted your chin so you had to stare right at the darkness in his eyes.

He moved closer, closer, until instinct forced your hands to jump up to his chest— god his chest, it was so firm and tanned and you swore you could feel the heat of his skin through his shirt— and stopped him from kissing you. “What’s the matter?” he asked softly.

What kind of dumbass question was that?! What’s the matter? Your Tio Javi, your dad’s best friend since forever, the guy who bought you your first bike and taught you how to whistle— that guy, calling you a whore and kissing your neck and touching you down there?! God, you knew you were messed up over this because you were mentally referring to your equipment as down there, like you were a little kid again.

But by god, you were not a little kid. Clearly, he knew that better than you thought he did. But you couldn’t believe this was really happening— it felt like a dream, but too terribly real.

What’s the matter, he asks, like you couldn’t spend all night listing everything wrong about this. You only gave him one reason aloud, though: “My dad will kill me.”

He smirked, a short laugh coming more out of his nose than his mouth. “Only if he finds out,” he replied. “Are you gonna tell on me, niña?”

Though very little, you shook your head.

“Are you gonna tell him that I brought you here and touched you like that?” he continued, voice lower and rougher, fingers dancing over your hip again. “Are you gonna tell your daddy how you got on your knees for me, let me fuck you like a whore, creamed on my cock over… and over…”

You shuddered as he left the softest trail of kisses up your neck.

“...and screamed my name until you lost your voice?”

"Fuck," you sighed, melting into his arms as he held you at your waist— his hands were so big that you felt especially delicate when he held you. "Javi, we… we shouldn't…"

"But you want to so bad, sweetie," he noticed with a fake pout. "You're a half-second from begging me to teach you how grown-ups fuck, I can tell."

Your thighs clenched together and he smirked.

"Just kiss me," he encouraged softly, lifting your chin with his fingers. "Just kiss me, baby, and I'll show you. I'll give you whatever you want."

You hesitated, looking up at his warm brown eyes, admiring his face and lingering over his lips… they did look perfectly kissable…

Shutting your eyes, you leaned forward and kissed him; instantly, he turned it from an innocent peck to a hungry gnashing of lips and teeth, his tongue dominating your mouth and muffling your moans.

His hands ran all over you and he started to guide you to walk with him— he turned you both and walked backwards down the hallway, dragging you until you toppled into his bed together.

"Lay back, baby," he instructed as he climbed over you, "your Tio's gonna make you feel so fucking good, sweetie… gonna fuck you like you need, I promise."

He sat up, almost making you want to chase for more of that kiss, but he reached up under your dress and pulled your soaked panties down your legs.

"Oh my god, look at this cute little pussy," he purred, spreading your lips apart and tracing up the seam of your cunt to find your bud. He traced it gently with his thumb— even the softest, slowest circles over it made you shiver and whine. "Sensitive, too. Poor baby, need me that bad?"

He crouched down lower, and you whimpered with anticipation. "Javi…" you mumbled nervously.

Before he even put his mouth on you, he leaned in close and took a deep breath through his nose. "Smells fuckin' perfect," he grunted, and you moaned just because he said that. "Can't wait to taste you, niña, been waiting too long…"

You wanted to ask if he'd been waiting longer than just tonight, but you were distracted by the wet, sloppy kiss he gave you, right on your aching clit. Instantly your back arched and your mouth fell open into a silent scream.

He was painfully, infuriatingly good at this— like second nature, he just looked up at you and watched while his tongue traced your clit exactly how you needed. You could just tell he did this all the time, that he had made his fair share of women scream and sob and beg with that tongue; you writhed and whimpered, shutting your eyes tight so you wouldn't have to see him looking up at you anymore.

He devoured you with wide, hungry licks, his mouth overwhelming you and his nose poking at the apex of your mound. You could feel his long sigh fan over your sensitive skin when he kept his mouth wide open, lapping at you desperately; you’d never seen him this… lacking in composure. This animalistic. It made you feel hot all over.

Maybe the only thing more embarrassing than how quickly you barrelled towards your peak was how easily he recognized it.

"Wanna come, baby?"

He only broke away from you just long enough to groan it out, and then he was right back to making you squirm and sob. "Yes, fuck, please!"

"Beg," he ordered, muffled by your clit in his mouth, eating away at you mercilessly.

"Fuck, Javi— please make me come with your— with your tongue, I— I've never come from that before, fuck it feels really good… please…"

He hummed around you, suckling harder at your throbbing bud.

"Oh— f-fuck, I wanna— please," you choked, "I'm so close…"

You felt him smile, and then you felt him do this thing with his tongue that made your thighs quiver around his head.

"Please, can I?" you whimpered.

He pulled away, but you could still feel his breath fanning over you and it made your walls tense up. "I like you asking for permission," he praised, "do it again."

"Please let me come," you groaned, arching your back when he latched onto you again. "I'm so close, just don't stop, please don't fucking stop—"

He didn't, which you took as permission— not that it really mattered since it was inevitable now with or without his blessing— and you shut your eyes tight as the electric feeling danced all over your body. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you only caught one more glimpse of him staring up at you with a scalding heat in his eyes.

Instantly it became too much, the sensations his tongue delivered to your clit painfully forcing your whole body to spasm. Gasping, you grabbed at his hair and sputtered out: “Stop, stopstopstop—”

He broke away and dropped your hips back down onto the bed, his smile glistening with your come. An instant later he sat up to start opening his belt, that grin turning suddenly into a snarl. You looked up at him with wide eyes, still trying to catch your breath, dizzy even as you just laid there watching him lick your wetness off his lips. “Need to fuck you,” he said, simple as that.

You still couldn’t really believe this was happening; the effects of the pill were mostly faded, but this felt like some bizarre dream anyways. Seeing him like this was just beyond surreal.

“Flip over— hands and knees,” he instructed firmly while he unbuttoned his jeans. You wanted to remind him that this was insanely wrong, that you thought of him like family and thought he saw you the same way— but then you remembered that what you’d done tonight was wrong too, and that he was your only hope of getting away with it and avoiding being locked in your room for the rest of your life.

"Shouldn't you… shouldn't we use a condom?" you suggested softly, and he smirked a little.

"We don't need that," he assured.

Doing as you were told, though it took some effort on shaky legs, you stared down at Javi’s bed under you— you’d seen it before, even slept in it before (though when that happened, he always took the couch), but it felt incredibly different now.

Speaking of things that felt incredibly different: getting fucked by your tio. He held your hips and pushed his cock into you, and you whimpered loudly as the stretch challenged you right from the start. You heard a soft moan from behind you, a needier sound than you expected from him, but it was drowned out quickly by your own cry as he buried himself in you completely. “Mm,” he hummed, fingers digging deeper into the plush of your ass as he stayed still for just a moment. “That’s good…”

Shivering, even though you were hot enough to sweat, you hid your face with a quiet whine right as he started to thrust— with a lot less patience than you expected.

"You're not embarrassed, are you?" he wondered, petting the back of your head as if trying to coax you out of the pillows. "Actin' all shy… what have you got to be shy about? Getting fucked on all fours like a slut, the fuck you acting innocent for now?"

"Please just slow down—" you gasped, reaching back behind yourself to try to grab his thigh.

"Hell fucking no, this is what you wanted," he groaned.

Whining, tears stung your eyes and you just tried to hold onto the bunches of his sheets in your fists.

"Wanted me for a while, didn't you? Dressing up all sexy when I came over for dinner, showing off how much you've grown… didn't even wear a bra, I could see your tits getting hard, wondered if it was because you were turned on. Turned on by your Tio…"

You weren't blind, you knew Javier was attractive, and you knew he did well with women— but you honest to God never thought about him like that. He was just your Tio Javi.

And now he was pushing you down between your shoulder blades to shove your face into the bed. Whimpering, you gave in, but the angle forced his cock even deeper and made you arch your back up with a yelp. "Shh shh, no baby, need to take it all," he scolded you softly as he pushed your back down. "Need to keep that ass up for me— show Tio that ass, good girl…"

It was hard to stay like this when it meant letting his cock hit way too deep— it hurt, and you sobbed with every thrust. "Please, s'too much, I need a break—"

"A break? We just started," he laughed. "You can get a break after I come, but you're gonna be in this bed all night showin' me why I should keep your secret."

"God, you're just so deep," you whined, "it hurts…"

"Yeah, but it feels good too, doesn't it?"

Even though you somehow felt guilty, you nodded.

"Yeah," he encouraged again, "you like getting fucked like this, baby. Never had your whole pussy used? Never had a cock this deep?"

So deep that it shot up your spine and made the back of your eyes burn? No, you'd never felt this before; you sobbed with pleasure, already totally overwhelmed.

He grunted as he increased his pace, already picking up speed each time his hips collided with yours; the bed was creaking a bit, too.

"Fuck," you gasped, toes curling. His cock’s fat head was pressing into something so painfully deep inside you, and just as much as it made you want to beg him to give you a little mercy, it made you feel like screaming for more and praying this could never end.

You heard him grunt as he fucked you even faster; he must have heard you sniffling, in turn, tears falling from your eyes near-silently as the pleasure overwhelmed your body. "What are you crying for? Never had a big dick like this, huh?" he chuckled. "Then just say so."

"I never… I-I've never had a… a dick this big before…"

"Mm," he hummed with approval, grabbing a handful of your ass and tilting his head so he could get a better view of his cock plunging into your hole. "Never been stretched out like this? That's too bad, I can tell you fuckin' needed it. Went out tonight cause you needed some dick, huh? Well you got more than you bargained for, honey, it's too much for this little pussy isn't it?"

"Yes!" you sobbed.

"Can't take all this?"

"Yes, Tio, please—"

"Don't tell me to slow down again," he warned. “I know what you need, sweetie.”

He grabbed you by your hair and forced your head back. "Ow!" you yelped instinctively. "Fuck, Javi!"

"Act like a slut and you're gonna get fucked like one," he reminded you, a frustrated sigh falling from his mouth. His pace quickened once more, thrusts coming faster until the sound of his hips and thighs smacking against your ass filled the room.

"I'm sorry," you choked, "I'm sorry, okay?"

"For what?"

"D-doing drugs," you listed, "going to clubs— acting like a s-slut…"

"Fuck," he grunted, "it's okay, baby, I'm gonna— god— gonna make it all better… gonna teach you how to be my good girl, okay?”

You whimpered as you nodded. “Please…”

Another tug on your hair made you whine and arch your back, letting yourself go a bit more limp in his grip as each thrust rocked your body. “First,” he began, “you need some discipline.”

The hand on your hip let go to give you a sudden spank on your ass; you yelped and jolted, the pain somehow only adding to your pleasure a second after the initial sting had faded.

“Your daddy never gave you enough of that— discipline,” Javi chuckled, “I warned him he was gonna spoil you. Guess I was right, look at you now?”

He smacked your ass again, hard enough that you cried loudly— probably loud enough for the neighbors to hear. That thought made your face burn with embarrassment. Anyone who shared a wall with Javi had probably heard his bed partners before, heard women screaming his name— why did that thought make you feel sick and sad and empty?

Of course, you were anything but empty, you were full to the brim and it felt like he might split you in half each time he pressed his hips to yours. “Once you get some discipline,” he continued, “you need to start doin’ what you’re told.”

“Y-yes, sir,” you choked out. You almost screamed when the hand that had been holding your hip slipped down to search between your legs; he grunted a bit as he roughly found your clit and rubbed it in fast circles.

“Then you need to learn some manners,” he continued, “like sayin’ thank you when I touch this pretty pussy for you.”

“Thank you,” you blurted out, your voice hoarse and wobbly— even weaker than you felt. Your hips were instinctively trying to buck away, running from the amount of raw sensation forced upon you, but you were trapped by the strength of his arm.

All at once it all changed: he slowed his pace, though he went just as deep if not deeper with each movement; he leaned down and pressed his chest to your bare and sweaty back, putting his lips against your ear; he kept touching your clit, but the circles were slower, smoother… sweeter. “S’that better, sweetie?” he whispered roughly. “Is that how you need it?”

Biting your quivering lip, you nodded; you fought another wave of tears that burned at the back of your eyes, but you were less embarrassed to cry now than you thought you would be. You’d cried in front of Javi before, plenty of times— skinned knees, dumb boyfriends, failed tests, he’d been around for plenty of that. Obviously, this was much more vulnerable than anything that had come before, and yet it felt bizarrely natural… he pulled out this side of you so easily, a side you didn’t even know existed.

“Such a good girl,” he cooed at you gently, kissing the curve of your jaw, and you finally stopped trying to stop yourself from shaking (it wasn’t working anyways). “So good for me…”

Everything was so blurry now, you barely even noticed him guiding you to lay down and roll over: you just noticed him pulling out, and pouted a little as if you actually thought he might just stop completely for no reason.

Noticing your displeasure, he smirked proudly. "Just wanna see that pretty face, sweetie," he soothed. But when he pushed back in, the new position made everything feel new— and, somehow, even more perfect.

"Fuck, Javi, s'really deep…" you mumbled, though it was deep in a different way than before— not as painful, yet even more mind-numbing.

"Uh huh?" he taunted. "Never had somebody fuck you right, baby?”

You shook your head. You had no idea it could be like this— you thought it was normal not to come, for the guy to jackhammer for a few minutes and leave. You didn't even know you could make noises like this…

"Say it again," he encouraged with a moan, watching your face intently.

"It's really… really deep…" you breathed, legs shaking as he held your hips down and tried to get even deeper; he started to grind up against you to force every last millimeter inside, roughly rubbing his pubic bone on your sore clit.

You squealed, barely able to take all this sensation, and he flared his nostrils. "What's really deep?"

"Your cock," you clarified.

"Whose cock?" he taunted.

"Yours, Javi, fuck! Stop asking me questions when I can barely fucking think!" you whined, and he laughed as he returned to his original motions.

“Just one more,” he promised. “Gonna come for me, niña?”

“Yes, yes,” you admitted through a choked sob.

He leaned down, blanketing his body over yours. "Call me Tio when I make you come," he whispered his demand in your ear, and you shuddered.

Each thrust was faster than the last, harder too, and you sobbed as heavy pulses of pleasure took control of your body. "I'm so close, I'm so fucking close," you panted, unable to speak above a whisper.

"I know, I know," he soothed, kissing your face with more tenderness than you expected or felt you deserved.

"I— please—"

"Shh, you're doing so good…"

It all collapsed at once. "I'm— fuck, I'm coming! Tio, I'm coming!"

He growled and latched his lips onto your neck, fucking you through it; your pussy pulsed in an erratic pattern, a new slickness coating him and running down your thighs. You would've been self-conscious about staining his bed if you had any room in your brain for it— but you couldn't think about anything, you even forgot to breathe for a couple seconds. "Good girl," he groaned, "coming nice and hard for me. Good fucking girl."

Suddenly, your arms wrapped around his shoulders— his broad, heavy shoulders, barely damp with sweat— and your shaking fingers dug into his skin. You hugged him tightly, maybe to keep yourself grounded as convulsions rocked through you, maybe for a little comfort through such an excruciatingly ecstatic sort of feeling.

When it all seemed to gather right in your gut, it finally slowed down and you went all but limp under him— though your arms stayed draped over his neck.

"Fuck, Javi," you moaned lowly, his thrusts faster and less even as he looked down at you with an exhausted smile of his own.

"Fuck, I wanted to make you come again," he admitted, "but I can't last much longer— you're too fuckin' tight, baby, little pussy's too fuckin' good, gonna make me come…"

"Please," you whined, partially out of submission and acceptance of your desire to make him come, partially out of excitement for a chance to breathe after he finished.

"Gonna come inside you," he warned suddenly, and you gasped.

"Wait, pull out," you pleaded, a small bit of your sanity coming back as the height of your pleasure had passed, "come on my face o-or something…"

He grinned when you said that, and you sort of regretted it. "That's cute," he decided, "but I wanna fill this pussy— see you nice and stuffed with my come— and I know you want that too, baby…"

You whined, hating how right he was, but you panted as you tried not to let the pleasure completely override your logical reasoning. "But I'm not— I don't—"

"I'll get you a pill in the morning," he promised, his voice rough and needy as he fucked you even faster— he hissed in his breaths through his teeth, almost snarling at you. "Fuck, I'm so close— tell me who owns this pussy now, princess."

"Yours, Javi, it's yours," you sobbed, hating how true that really was. "Yours to fill— you can come inside me, Tio, nobody's ever…"

You didn't even finish the thought, and he moaned as his grip on your hip tightened. He seemed pleased by the fact that you'd never been creampied before, even more excited to empty himself into you. "Beg," he ordered.

"I— I want you to come," you blurted out, not really sure what you were doing and struggling to put a thought together anyways. "Please, I want… want it inside—"

"Fuck, fuckfuckfuck," he rushed, and a moment later he stopped as deep as he could go, letting you feel every pulse as he filled you.

You gasped, almost wanting to squirm away out of instinct and try to stop him from filling you, but he held you down and kept you helpless.

"God, yes," he moaned in a breath, grunting as he started to grind his hips on yours to get himself that slightest fraction of an inch deeper.

He let his weight relax onto you and though it made it tricky to breathe, you just accepted it, finally shutting your exhausted eyes.

You were probably more than half of the way to sleep when he brought you back to reality by carefully rolling off of you; you winced as he pulled out, first from the soreness and then from the gush of sticky heat you felt coming out a moment later…

Javi stayed on his side, propped up on one bent elbow, and looked down at what you could only assume was a completely gaping pussy— and all his come leaking out.

He swiped two fingers through the mess he'd made, letting them linger on your throbbing clit until your hips jolted away; smiling, he brought the fingers to his lips and tasted his own come from your hole. "Fuck, Javi," you sighed, taken aback by the erotic, sudden gesture.

"You wanna taste too, princess?" he smirked, moving his fingers back to your pussy— but this time he didn't just scoop up what was leaking out. No, he suddenly slid two fingers into your incredibly sore cunt, making you wince from the sting and watching your face carefully with a sigh.

When he pulled his fingers out, after twisting them around inside you for a moment, they were coated in both of you. His free hand held your chin and tilted your mouth how he wanted it, guiding you to take both his fingers onto your tongue.

"Lick it off— good girl, like that…"

His praise made your exhausted walls clench just one more time.

"Taste how good we are together, baby?" he cooed. "You did so good for me… I haven't come like that in a long time."

I haven't come like that ever, you wanted to reply, but your mouth was full. When his fingers were cleaned off, he laid down beside you and wrapped you up in his arms. The strangeness of it hit you again: you, him, naked in bed… you still couldn't quite believe it was real.

"How much sleep do you need before you can go again?"

You widened your eyes and looked at him, amazed to see that he clearly wasn't joking. "Again? Javi, I'm gonna be sore for weeks already—"

"You're young, you can bounce right back," he promised, "I bet in a couple hours your pussy's gonna be even tighter than it was when we started."

You bit your lip. "I guess I can— I mean, maybe one more time, if you let me sleep a little first…"

He smiled and kissed your head, making you sigh and hide your face in his neck. He smelled the same, that's what was so weird— he smelled like he always had, the same aftershave as you remembered from all those years ago, and now you were naked and sore and used. "Okay, sweetie, get some sleep," he offered. "I'll wake you up when I'm ready to give you another load— I bet you're gonna like the way I wake you up, too."

As he chuckled lowly, kissing your neck right by your ear, you shut your eyes and tried to ignore how bizarre this was so you could rest.

His fingers gently tickled your thigh, tracing random shapes that left goosebumps behind, and whispered praises in your ear to lull you to sleep. "That's my good girl," his low, gentle voice blended in with the growing darkness of slumber.

Even mostly asleep and exhausted like you'd never been before, you got the sense that being his good girl was on ordeal that lasted more than just one night. In fact, you hoped it did.

[joelswritingmistress]

Neighbors With Benefits: Part 1 (Joel Miller x f!reader)

Part of the #hotdilfsummerchallenge (I will be adding more and tag the Masterlist) Thank you @hellishjoel for putting on this contest. It's a lot of fun!

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: Roughly 5000

Warning: Dilfy smut, age gap (23 & 42)

Mid-June, 2024. The first summer back home upon college graduation. You knew there would be an adjustment period and while you didn't necessarily feel unhappy, there was a strangeness that left you with feelings you couldn't quite pinpoint. This was your childhood home, your hometown, your room - but still, somehow it felt foreign.

You hung up the maroon cap and gown that showed off the primary color of Texas A+M, the college where you had spent the last four years studying your ass off to get a degree in criminal justice. At twenty-three years old after spending the last few years in a little off-campus apartment with some friends, you were feeling both aggravated and nostalgic upon returning to your parents' house in the suburbs. They were great and you got along just fine; but the freedoms that had gone along with renting your own place were now reeled in a bit tighter. At the very least you knew your mother would likely stay awake on the nights you were out late. Still, you appreciated how much they cared about you.

You moved to your bedroom window and flung it open to let in some air to get rid of the stuffiness that lingered in the house. Immediately, your eyes landed on a man next door standing behind a grill as smoke filtered up above him in a faint, little cloud. He flipped a burger with a pair of metal tongs and took a sip from what looked like a bottle of beer.

"Hey, honey."

You jumped at your mother's voice as if you'd been caught doing something wrong. "Hey." You pressed your eyebrows together and motioned out the window as she entered the room. "Who's that?"

"Oh, I guess it never came up in conversation," your mother said with a shrug, "That's our new neighbor. He moved in back in January."

You glanced back out the window.

"He’s a bit too old for you,” she teased with a laugh.

You whipped around and made a face. "I'm not... I'm not checking him out. I'm just asking why there's a stranger in the Wilsons' backyard." You smirked and raised your eyebrows, "Maybe if my mother told me things I wouldn't have to play detective."

"Isn't that what you got your degree in criminal justice for?"

You chuckled, knowing she would most certainly outwit you in a verbal battle. "And I'm 23 years old. No one's too old for me anymore."

"Well, in that case I hear they just built a nice, new nursing home down the road with plenty of widowed men. I can drive you there if you'd like."

You let out a hearty laugh. “I’ll pass."

The two of you giggled and your mother continued, "Will you be joining your father and I for dinner tonight? We were thinking of just going to Chili's and then heading to a play at the little theater downtown. The kids are putting on Grease."

You smiled as your phone vibrated with a text from your best friend. "It's Holly."

"So, I guess the answer is going to be no," your mother suspected. She smirked and got the hint. “Keep in touch.”

"Okay," you agreed and then cleared your throat when she turned to go. "Mom, what's his name?"

"Huh?"

"The neighbor," you went on, "I should probably introduce myself since I'm going to be a resident of 45 Harding Drive again."

"Joel," her mother replied, "Joel Miller."

Your parents left soon after and so you wandered out to the back steps, waiting for them to take off first before popping open a beer. The ice cold beverage tasted better than normal because of the incoming summer heat that was supposed to really strike the following morning. With a content sigh, you leaned your elbows back on the top step of the set of four that led from the back door into the oversized backyard.

"Jennifer?" a deep, scratchy voice made you jump for the second time that night. You put a hand on your chest and glanced off to the side when you realized a man had called out your mother's name.

The neighbor, you thought, feeling your stomach knot up.

You cleared your throat and rose to your feet, leaving the beer on the top step. "No… I’m (Y/N)." You took a few steps in his direction though he made his way almost all the way to the steps.

"(Y/N)?" His features became clear when he stepped into a small, back light beside the door. The man flashed a friendly, boyish grin from beneath a trim beard. "Tim and Jen’s daughter?"

You looked down sheepishly and smiled before lifting your eyes to meet his stare. "Yeah."

He’s hot, your inner monologue informed you, as if your cheeks hadn't suddenly grown hot.

His eyes shifted to the beer and his grin widened even more before he extended a hand. "I'm Joel... your neighbor."

"Nice to meet you." You gave a closed-mouth smile and took in his appearance, consciously telling herself not to stare. His plain white t-shirt showed off his broad chest and shoulders

Joel cleared his throat. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine," you assured him and then cleared your throat, "Do you want a beer or something?"

A smirk twisted onto his face., "No thanks. I was actually just coming over to see if I could borrow some butter."

"Oh..." You glanced over your shoulder at the back door and then back to Joel.

"You don't have to," he said reassuringly, unable to keep the grin from his face. "You don't even know me yet so-"

"No.” You cut him off, "No, it's fine."

"Are you sure?" Joel's voice cut through you like a knife and he kept his eyes firmly locked on yours.

You nodded, unable to look away for a moment and then waved him inside.

"Don't forget your brew here, honey." He reached down and scooped up the beer as you flung the back door open.

You smiled again, "Thanks."

Joel nodded and followed you in, before glancing around at the modest but modern kitchen. "You, uh... you even old enough to drink this shit?" He motioned to the beer.

You rolled your eyes, "I can show you my ID if that makes you feel any better." You flung open the refrigerator, "I know my parents are going to treat me like I'm in high school again."

"Well... they're just trying to protect you," Joel said. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-three." You glanced over her shoulder at him, somewhat pleased to catch him staring - or so you thought. It prompted him to look elsewhere.

"Here." You removed a stick of butter and crossed the room to hand it to him. When the butter landed in his hand you decided to be bold and didn't immediately let it go, "How old are you?"

He chuckled before holding a wicked smirk and again held her captive with his playfully intense eyes. "How old do you think I am?"

You stared back, somewhat used to gaining control over the guys you had dated or been interested in in the past. Already, this time you felt a bit outmatched and part of it was your instant attraction to him. When Joel took one step in her direction, you swallowed hard and gave a random answer.

"Thirty-two?"

Joel laughed a little louder, putting a hand on his stomach. He ran the other hand through his messy brown hair and pointed. "You're so full of shit."

You smiled at him, "I was thinking more of thirty-eight, thirty-nine."

He sucked his teeth and gave you a look up-and-down before smiling wide again. When he didn't say anything in response you flat out asked, "Am I right?"

"Forty-two," Joel finally informed you after a long pause.

"Over the hill then?"

He snickered and then motioned to the fridge, "Ya know... I will have that beer if you don't mind."

You smiled before reopening the fridge to fetch one for him. When you placed a bottle of Bud Lite in his hand he used the counter to pop the top rather than twist it. When the dented bottle cap fell to the floor and danced in circles for a moment you glanced back up to find him continuing to stare as he took a long swig from the bottle.

Joel wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Your dad going to notice that a few of these are missing?"

"They're mine," you informed him, "And I'm not-"

"A kid, I know..." Joel rolled his eyes now and the two of you shared a laugh, "Believe me when you're my age you'll love that someone will accuse you of being younger."

"I'm sure I will."

He reached down and scooped up the cap from the ground and then held it out in his palm. When you went to reach for it he closed his hand and smiled playfully.

"I'll take it," Joel offered, "Don't want you to get caught drinking these things when your parents come home." He continued to tease you about your age.

"You know, I could've guessed you were fifty."

He laughed out loud. "Smart mouth on you," Joel flashed his index finger at her with the hand that held the bottle, "I like it."

You looked down and laughed again, feeling your cheeks grow hot again from his remark.

"Anyway, I should be getting back." Joel continued to smile, almost triumphantly and winked. "It was nice meeting you."

"It was nice meeting you too.”

He held your gaze for an extra second, forcing him to smirk a final time before heading out the back door.

"Thanks for the beer," he said casually, "I'll see ya around."

8:15 pm - the following evening

"Sorry I couldn't make it out last night," Holly said to you. The two of you sat side by side at barstools down at one of the local bars in town. "My boss can be a real pain in the ass sometimes."

"It's fine. I had the house to myself so I kind of just had some time to chill and binge watch some old shows."

"Sounds terrible."

You laughed and shrugged. "It was alright."

"Well, here's to... summer?" Holly raised her martini glass and you tapped her beer bottle gently against it.

"To potentially the weirdest summer of my life."

"Why's that?"

You shrugged, "I don't know. Being back home doesn't feel so 'at home' anymore."

"Give it time." Holly sipped her drink, "In a month it'll feel like you never left."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Hey, it's not so bad. I'm here." She smiled and raised her eyebrows, "Jill and Molly should be home within the week too. We can get the old crew back together before we all get real jobs and have to do shitty adult stuff."

"I'll drink to that," you agreed, taking a longer swig of the beer. You sighed and began to peel at the blue Bud Lite label, letting your mind drift to the night before with Joel. You envisioned him snapping the cap off the top of the beer bottle, using the counter. A smile crossed lingered on your face.

"Ooohh... someone's checking us out," Holly commented, "Or maybe they know you..." Her eyebrows pressed together and she motioned using her head toward a table in the corner of the bar.

"Oh shit." You couldn't contain your response but realized it must've sounded out of place.

"What?" Her friend asked, "Do you know him?"

"That's my neighbor," you informed her, "New neighbor."

Joel smirked and gave a wave but quickly entertained a conversation he was having with two other men at the small, corner table.

"He's kind of a Dilf."

You snickered and shrugged, unable to take your eyes off of him. When Joel glanced back in your direction you looked away and quickly took a sip of your.

"You think he's hot," Holly suspected with a laugh.

"What?" You shook your head, "No... I mean he may have some Dilf qualities or something like you just said but…” The sentence drifted off.

"Mm-hmm..." She continued to stare at her friend with playfully accusing eyes.

"Stop," you joked, "I just met him last night."

"Last night?" Holly perked up, "And..."

"And what?"

"You tell me."

You laughed again, "He came over to the house because he needed some butter."

"More like some sugar," she winked and glanced up toward a television that had a baseball game on in front of them.

You let out a hearty laugh and shook your head.

"He keeps looking over here." Holly’s voice perked out, "Oh! He's getting up," Holly whispered, stalking him for a moment with her eyes.

You glanced over and felt your stomach twist in knots when he headed in their direction.

"So you are over twenty-one," Joel cracked a wide smile and tapped the back of her chair as he continued to walk by.

"Twenty-three," you called after him, smiling wide.

He glanced over his shoulder, winking once before continuing on around a corner toward the bathrooms.

You let out a sigh and Holly turned back around.

"What the hell are you waiting for?" her friend asked. Before you could attempt to plead your case Holly went on, "He's hot... and he's totally flirting with you."

"He's not flirting with me."

"That was a Frank Sinatra-worthy wink."

You shook your head, laughing again. "Where do you come up with these things?"

"You're glowin. You're crushing on this guy. Who cares if he's your neighbor. Get on that."

"He's forty-two," you lowered your voice.

Holly raised her eyebrows and glanced toward the doorway where Joel had just walked through before returning her attention to her friend.

"Forget it." You sipped your drink and tried to pretend like you were nterested in the game on the television.

"At least admit you're crushing."

She turned to her and shook her head, "Fine... he's hot. Okay?" You focused on the screen for as long as she could and tried to pretend not to notice when Joel rounded back into the bar. You let out a deep breath as he crossed behind you and felt a rush when he came up beside you to flag down the bartender.

"Another round?" the middle-aged bartender asked, already reaching for a beer.

"Please,” Joel said with a nod, "You can put it on the tab." He turned to you, "Any interest in playing darts over here?" He nodded toward a dart board in the corner.

"Sure."

"Don't feel obligated." He forced your eyes back to his and continued to stare into them.

"I don't." You felt that intense paralysis again and couldn't turn away. When the bartender came back with the round of beers for Joel, you felt relieved and let out a breath.

"Get these two what they want," Joel added to the bartender, "Next round's on me when you finish those."

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"It's fine. I owe you one from last night." He headed back to the small table with his friends and Holly finally snapped you out of your daze.

"I thought you just gave him butter," she whispered with a giggle, "What was last night?"

You swallowed hard and rose to your feet, prompting Holly to do the same. "I offered him a beer and he took it," she said, "It was nothing... believe me. If I had anything interesting to share I would tell you."

Your legs felt heavy as you crossed the dark bar that was scattered with only a handful of other people. While the two other men began collecting darts and erasing the chalkboard to the side, Joel stood staring with his elbow on the table. For a moment everything else was in the background and you could only focus on him.

Shit... Any wit she had going for her had betrayed her. The instant, intense attraction you had to him was completely clouding your judgment. You felt like you were about to enter a wolf den, though you didn't at all mind playing the part of Little Red Riding Hood.

The anxiety-ridden feeling you had had leading up to the game of darts diminished as the night went on. You played a few games, swapping teammates several times, beginning with a 'boys versus girls' theme and then pairing off randomly when one game ended.

"He's going to fuck it up, you watch," Joel taunted as his friend lined up, closing one eye as he released the dart, only sending it clunking off the board and to the ground. "You didn't even hit the fuckin' board." His words drew laughter from everyone and the man that missed stumbled to retrieve it, chuckling as he went.

"I'm fucked up," Skip, the older robust man, remarked as he struggled to pick the dark up from the floor.

"Ya think?" Joel joked, continuing to sip on his beer.

"It's about time I get this man home to his wife and let her deal with him," the other man, Charlie, chuckled from behind a pair of alcohol-induced crimson cheeks. "Can't hold his liquor."

Skip huffed a breath and closed his eyes with a hand on his head. "The old lady's going to be mad at me. Especially when I tell her we've been hanging out with these lovely ladies." He motioned to you and Holly, laughing at himself and making the others do the same.

"I'd leave that part out if you knew what was good for ya," Charlie informed him with another laugh. "Come on Skippy. It's past your bed time."

"Game over?" Holly asked you.

"I guess so." You raised her eyebrows and smiled.

"Charlie, you guys to get home?" Joel asked.

"It's just a quarter mile down the road," Charlie waved a hand. He smiled, "Good night ladies."

"Goodnight," you both said at the same time before Holly turned to you.

"I'm heading to the bathroom. Be right back." She raised her eyebrows, noting it would give you and Joel a moment alone and you tried to play it off coolly.

"Okay." She watched a moment as Holly made her way down the bar and around the corner.

"Hope I didn't kill your girls night," Joel said.

"No." You turned back to him and leaned an elbow on the table, "We were just bored. Had to get out of the house."

"Mmm..." He slid back down into a seat and you took upon herself to join him as you waited for Holly.

Joel leaned both elbows on the table to straddle his beer, "You're probably used to night clubs filled with young guys just dying to buy you a drink. This has to be fuckin' lame."

"I was over that scene by my junior year," you told him with a laugh as you shook your head. "They were all the same with their cheesy cologne and gelled up hair."

Joel huffed a laugh and took a sip of his drink. "Sick of that shit huh?"

"Very." You mirrored his position and continued to sip on the beer you had been milking for the better part of an hour, "I'm kind of over the party scene... and the being at home scene."

"You've been home for one fuckin' day." He raised his eyebrows, "Get over it. You're saving money."

You nodded, "Yeah... yeah you're right."

"I know I am." He smiled, a charming arrogance radiating out of him.

When your phone buzzed in your pocket you jumped and quickly removed it, finding a text message from Holly.

I'm getting in my car. Snuck out the back. Have fun. You'll thank me later.

When you looked back up Joel was grilling you with his eyes. You wondered if he had managed to read the message or not. You cleared her throat. "Holly," you said simply.

"You guys need to go?"

You opened her mouth to speak, still unsure if he had seen what your friend wrote but decided to chance it and lie. "She... got sick. She's on her way home."

"She okay?"

You nodded. “Just a little embarrassed I think and decided to go." You took a sip to buy yourself some time in case he asked any more questions. When he didn't you tried to change the subject. "This place is dead."

"What's so bad about the college scene?" Joel asked.

"Huh?"

"The young guys, the night clubs..."

"Oh... nothing, I guess." You cleared her throat feeling like he was trying to read your mind. Again, your face felt flush with heat and you continued, "They're just... all the same. There's no appeal anymore. When I was eighteen I thought it was cool sneaking into bars and all that." You smiled and shook her head before looking him in the eye. "This is more my speed."

Joel stared back and didn't immediately say anything.

You almost couldn't take the quiet stalemate. The sexual attraction for Joel burned in your chest and in that moment, in the quiet corner of the bar, it was hard to fight it. All the same, you felt like you had to be reading his body language correctly in assuming he was feeling something too. Still, the fact that he was your older neighbor, who you didn't know very well, lingered in the back of your mind.

Getting involved with Joel would satisfy your instant craving for him but beyond that you knew it could only lead to making both of your lives more complicated.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," you told him, when you couldn't contain your feelings any longer. It was the only thing you could say without leaping across the table and initiating a make-out session that played out animalistically in your mind.

"You gunna disappear on me too?" he joked, though you could see there was a hint of seriousness in his piercing eyes behind the wicked smile that hadn't left his face all evening.

"Not a chance." You felt embarrassed by the bold nature of your words, but took a deep breath and made the long walk across the bar into the restroom area. When you pushed open the door you felt relieved that no one else was in there and quickly made your way to the sink to pat some water on her face. You let out a breath, leaning both of her hands on the counter and then took in your appearance to make sure you was satisfied with the way you looked.

I'm being ridiculous, you thought. I'm too old to feel this out of control over a guy... or a man.

Joel was a man. He wasn't at all like the college boys you had been surrounded by who loved to crush beer cans on their heads, brag about how many consecutive beer pong games they'd won and worst of all when they threw the cheesiest lines at you and your friends to try to get laid. Joel didn't have to say or do anything in particular. He could simply look at you the right way and you found yourself ready to obey any request or demand he threw your way.

I’m in over my head, you thought, but I don't care.

You took in another deep breath and felt like you had the quick break that you needed to hold a sensible conversation with him without the constant interference of your out-of-whack hormones.

"Okay," you whispered to yourself and fiddled with your hair before pulling the door open to head back into the short, dark hallway. When Joel rounded the corner at the same time from the bar both of you stopped abruptly.

His eyes stalked the length of your body before finally re-settling on your gaze.

"Checking to make sure I didn't bail?" you joked, nervously laughing just after. Your tongue danced along your bottom lip, and you couldn't help but look him up and down the way he had just done to you.

Joel swallowed hard, tipping his mouth up into a half-smirk before walking past the men's room door in your direction.

You didn't have time to process all of the questions in your mind because he marched up and planted his lips against yours, immediately penetrating them with his tongue as his hands successfully shoved you up against the door to the women's room. It opened a few inches beneath the force.

You felt an explosion of adrenaline filter through your body as you kissed him back even more savagely than in your daydreams.

Joel pushed the door all the way open with one hand, not separating himself from you as he gripped your ass with his free hand and pushed his hips firmly against yours.

You tangled a hand in his hair, kissing him back with a heated passion that you didn't bother to try masking now that he had initiated the fantasy that had been playing out in your mind since you had him.

He moaned into your mouth before taking a breath and crushing his lips back against yours. Your back collided with the tile wall at the back of the bathroom, and you arched your neck as he began to ravage you, sliding a hand down the front of your pants while gripping your face with the other to kiss you hard again.

It all was happening so fast. You struggled to keep up but couldn't process a conscious thought when his first two fingers slid inside of you.

You bit down on your lip in a break in the kiss and spread your legs wider to give him more access.

Joel left a single kiss on her lips and spoke against them in a husky whisper, "Let it out honey," he kissed you again, "Let it out."

You knew the bar was nearly empty and there wasn't another woman that had been there. Even if there had been you didn't know that you would have cared. When his fingers twitched, arcing perfectly in his technique to make your entire lower body shiver with pleasure, you groaned.

"Fuck Joel," your whined his name, desperate for his tongue to dominate your again as he continued to finger you relentlessly until you felt like you were going to explode.

Joel's arousal heightened when he traced your lips with his thumb of his free hand, prompting you to take the tip of it into your mouth.

"God," he closed his eyes relished in the feeling, pushing his fingers deeper into you.

You whimpered again, writhing beneath his touch and attempted to reach for the belt buckle on his pants. "I want you."

He removed his hand from beneath your slick panties and placed his hands against the wall on either side of you as you managed to undo his buckle and shove his pants down off his hips.

Instinctively, you dropped to your knees, taking in as much of him as you could. Joel moaned and bucked his hips once as he grasped the back of your head with one hand. You looked up, watching his head fall back as his closed eyes pressed shut tighter. Joel allowed you to have your way with him as you continued to go down on him like you might never get another opportunity to do so. "Fuuucckk." He drew the word out, encouraging you to continue as he grabbed a fist full of your hair. "Ohh shit..."

Had anybody walked by the door there would have been no way to mask what was going on. Joel didn't hold back and felt an additional jolt of pleasure when you stroked him with your hand before quietly demanding him to come.

He opened his eyes, letting his mouth hang open as he glanced down, making eye contact with you as you engulfed him again.

"Jesus..." Joel's eyes closed and he felt an unmistakable buildup brewing below his waist. He couldn't ask you to stop, not when he was on the verge of exploding. "I'm gunna come." He shouted the words so loud that you thought for sure that someone had to have heard your encounter from somewhere in the bar. Still, you didn't let up and allowed him to push deep into you, gripping the back of your head with such force that you couldn't have separated your mouth from him if you tried.

He groaned, not attempting to hold back what he was feeling, alternating different curse words in between uneven breaths that ultimately left him panting as you finished him off. With a final breath he released your hair, letting his hand drop toward your face as you wiped a hand across your mouth and slowly rose to your feet.

Joel stood there for several seconds, breathing heavy with his pants at his ankles and a hand still on your face. When he finally came down off the high enough to speak, a chuckle left his mouth and ran a hand through your now-messy hair. "Shit honey... you didn't get yours." He let out another breath and then retrieved his pants from the floor and straightened out his appearance.

"It's alright," you told him with a sly smile, noting the heat that was still brewing between your legs.

He huffed another breath and adjusted himself over his pants before regaining your gaze. Joel smiled and drew his thumb gently under your eye, "Mascara's running. Sorry honey."

You closed her eyes as he continued to wipe the stray makeup away from your face. When you reopened them, Joel sported a half grin and he raised his eyebrows.

"Guess I fuckin' owe ya one."

You snickered, pleased to know that he wasn't at all expecting this to be your only encounter. "Yeah... you do."

Joel took a final, deep breath. "Well... you know where to find me."

"Next door."

"If you see me outside come on over to... borrow some butter or something.”

"Butter..." You snickered and then swallowed hard when he took a step toward her and slid a hand back down the front of your pants.

Joel touched his lips to yours as he spoke and this time gently began to massage up and down your wet center. When your mouth twisted up in a smile and you closed your eyes again he grinned and removed his glistening fingers. "It's a shame this is going to go to waste. Too bad you're so damn good at giving a blowjob. I had all the intentions of fucking you but I could just not ask you to stop.”

"Damn," she said quietly, but smiled, praying he might have it in him to continue.

Joel smiled, reading the disappointment on her face. "I'll be in and out tomorrow," he claimed, "You see me and you feel like bringing me over some butter…”

"I think you’ll definitely need some."

He looked down and made his way to the sink to wash his hands before turning to her with a smile. He ended the night the same way he had the night before, "I'll see ya around."

CLICK HERE FOR PART 2

[probably-writing-x]

The Stars That Shine

Summary: could you do something w conrad based off of mary’s song oh my my my by taylor swift 🥺

Author’s Note: Im so sorry I struggled so much writing this but I hope you love it and it’s what you were hoping for <3

It was like there was just something between you and Conrad that everyone else could see even when you couldn’t. You’d grown up in the house next to his in Cousins and so, every summer without fail, you spent every waking moment with him. It was like summer started so nothing else mattered. He was two years older than you and for the majority of your life he’d made that abundantly clear - he treated you like a little girl in comparison to him. He saw you in the same way he saw Jere, younger than him and so someone he had to be responsible for.

When you were 8, he threw you into the pool and then fought you when you tried to get back at him for it. You’d slipped on the concrete and cut your knee, and Susannah had told him he was too big to be fighting you. He’d patched you up with a plaster over the cut and bought you an ice cream from the van when it came past.

When you were 10, he punched a boy that jumped the queue in front of you over at the boardwalk. You’d been queuing to use the karts, and a boy had treated you like you were invisible. Conrad grabbed your arm and pulled you behind him, turning the guy around and clocking him in the jaw. He bruised his knuckles and you bought him fries from the stall to make up for it. You remembered it every time you ended up back at that boardwalk.

When you were 12, he got dared to kiss you one night when the group of you were all camping out at the beach. He refused at first and both of you forgot about it. But, later that night, he’d stopped you on the sand and told you that he never backed down from a dare. You ran away before he had the chance. Neither of you mentioned it after that day.

When you were 14, you realised for the first time that you liked him. He was getting ready for a date and you watched him fix his hair in the mirror, the pain settling on your chest that it wasn’t you he’d be with. He’d told you to wish him luck and you couldn’t find a word to respond with. A few hours later, Conrad had returned and told you dating wasn’t for him, he’d shook hands with you that he’d never go on a first date again. You’d laughed and taken the bet, hoping to God for just a moment that the next one would be with you.

When you turned 16, it was like Conrad saw you completely differently. You turned up in Cousins that summer and he saw you as a whole new person. He’d looked at you on the driveway like he was looking at a stranger, until his hand stretched out and he ruffled your hair on your head. You blushed under his touch and prayed he didn’t notice.

But there was just something so different about that summer. You felt Conrad’s eyes on you whenever he had the chance, the way he listened in to what you said just a little more intensely, the way he defended you when the boys started being dicks. The little things that just didn’t feel the same as they normally did.

It was that same summer that Conrad first took you out in his truck. His father had bought it for him for Christmas and got Jere one too - now that both of them could drive. Conrad had always complained that he’d have to wait for Jeremiah but it didn’t seem to matter now that he had his car. It started with just little trips to the store, spending a little longer with each other browsing through the aisles before he took the long way home. And then one night, when you couldn’t sleep, it felt like everything changed.

———

You made your way slowly downstairs, breezing past your parents’ room where they both slept soundly. With no real reason why, you just couldn’t sleep tonight. And there was only so long you could lay in bed waiting for sleep to take you.

You slip on a hoodie over your bralette and shorts and grab a pair of flip flops, heading out of the back door and into the yard. It was so much more peaceful at night. You’d sleep out here if you could.

It was rare you spent much time at home in this place, however. All of your best memories were made in the house next door - Susannah was the hostess and your parents always accepted that. You walk down the length of the garden alongside the hedged fence joins the two yards, your eyes flicking into their side.

That’s when you see him. Illuminated by the lights in the water, seemingly giving him an eerie glow, his legs drifting back and forth under the surface from where he sat at the edge of the pool.

“Con?” You hiss into the silent air and he instantly bolts his head up to look at where the noise has come from.

He smiles when he sees you, standing up from the poolside and wiping his hands on his shorts, “Are you stalking me (Y/l/n)?”

“Don’t flatter yourself Fisher,” You roll your eyes, wrapping your arms around yourself.

He smirks and makes his way over to you until you’re both stood in front of each other, separated by the short hedge between you.

“Why are you awake?”

Conrad shrugs, “I never sleep early.”

You nod, “I can’t sleep.”

You feel the way his eyes watch you, the way they seem to melt into your skin. The way you seem to heat up just a little under his gaze.

“Do you want to go somewhere?”

“Now? Con it’s like 1am,” You frown, glancing back up to him.

He shrugs, “Do you have anything better to do?”

And so, he disappears back into his house and you take the alleyway at the side of yours, waiting for him out the front against the passenger door of his car.

Only moments later, he steps outside, swinging his keys around one finger as he makes his way over to you. You both clamber in and he drives off without another word.

You look out of the passenger window at the passing cars and don’t notice the way he watches you. The way his eyes are on you as if they can’t be torn away. Conrad wasn’t exactly sure when things had changed - or if they’d ever changed at all. He just knew that he saw you now and saw someone he couldn’t be without. Like someone had made him see you in a completely different light. Had he always felt like this and only now realised?

“Have you seen the-“ You turn your head back around and notice his eyes solely on you, feeling a blush burn at your cheeks, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I just-“ He stops himself.

“Focus on the road Fisher,” You roll your eyes, drawing your knees up to your chest on the chair.

“That’s my sweatshirt,” He points out, turning another corner as the two of you drive down another country lane.

Eventually, he parks the car up on the hills overlooking the town, both of you still sat in the front seats staring out over the dark view.

“So why couldn’t you sleep?” Conrad asks you, leaning his head back against the headrest.

You shrug, “I don’t know. Just stuff on my mind I guess.”

He nods, “Go on.”

“Do you-“ You stop yourself, shifting in your seat so that you’re sat sideways, facing him directly, “Do you feel like… I don’t know, like this summer has been different than before?”

You watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows the lump in his throat, “In what way?”

“Come on Con,” You scoff, “I feel like I stranger showing up here again, I know you’re all looking at me like I’m a new person.”

He jumps the gun quickly to correct you, “It’s not like that, I know you’re still you.”

You roll your eyes, “Then why are you being so different with me?”

“I just-“ He stops himself, reaching out to brush your hair away from your face, as if he wants to frame your features in the perfect light, “It just feels like this summer I actually woke up. Saw what was right in front of me.”

“And what’s that?” You stop yourself from smiling, feeling so nervous with the way he cupped your cheek.

His thumb brushes along your jaw, until it is at the base of your chin, “You.”

Slowly, cautiously, like he’s giving you both the time to overthink, he draws you into him and you pull to him like a magnet. His breath fans over your lips before you close the space between you, his lips soft and uncertain against yours. You hadn’t kissed anyone before, you didn’t have a clue on what to do. But his hand keeps you pulled into him and his fingers are in your hair and his lips move against yours like they were meant to be there. He holds you like he’s been waiting to for a short forever.

Conrad’s hands move lower, pressing against your back to pull you into him, both of you angled awkwardly over the console of the car. He fumbles in his seat to draw you close to him despite the block between you and both of you laugh against each other.

“Terrible place for a first kiss,” He mumbles against you, his forehead pressing against yours.

You smile and pull away from him, “I think we’re just impatient.”

“Oh I think we’ve both waited long enough to do that,” He scoffs, “C’mere.”

One hand drops to draw his chair as far away from the wheel as it will go before they’re both back onto you, gripping and grasping at your hoodie to pull you over to him. You giggle as you clamber over onto his lap.

He grips your waist as you settle down onto his thighs, your noses bumping together in the small space.

“Hi,” You grin, holding both of his shoulders as if convincing yourself he was real.

His hands slip beneath the waistband of your hoodie, for no other reason than to convince himself that you were real too, that he could feel you there.

“Hi.”

———

You and Conrad had stayed together for the following year without any hiccups. He drove to your home, you drove to Boston, you met in the middle in Cousins. You spent Thanksgiving with his family, and he came to yours after Christmas. You called each other nearly every night and the long distance never seemed to feel like too far. All up until when the two of you were back in Cousins. Your parents hadn’t come this summer but you had, and you stayed at Susannah’s place. It was the most time you and Conrad had ever spent together, waking up together, going to sleep together, it was all you’d been wanting since he’d first kissed you in that car.

But all pieces of heaven come with tiny bits of hell. And it didn’t take too long for the perfect bubble to burst.

You’d been at the beach at a bonfire party, and you’d been accepting any drink that someone offered you. It was starting to hit you a little bit, the sort of buzz that warmed your veins and heightened your confidence.

“Where’s Con?” You frown at Jeremiah, squinting around the mass of bodies to try and spot your boyfriend.

“I don’t know,” Jere shrugs, “I think I saw him with Steven by the fire.”

You nod and trail your steps in that direction, stumbling a little on the uneven sand.

“Hey!” An unfamiliar pair of hands grab your waist, “Come and dance with me.”

You push them away and turn your head back to see a boy you don’t recognise, rolling your eyes.

“Oh come on, don’t be boring,” He encourages, “Dance with me.”

His hands snake around your waist again and you push them off.

“Get off me!” You exclaim, turning around to face him.

“Oh is that how you’re playing it?” The boy smirks, “What have you got a boyfriend or something?”

“I-“

“Hey, do you want to back the fuck off?” Conrad’s voice bellows from beside you, coming up towards the boy and shoving him square in the chest.

He stumbles backwards on the sand but catches himself before he falls.

“Who the fuck are you?” The boy scoffs, looking up to meet Conrad’s eyes before looking back at you, at the way Conrad shields you with his body, “You’re her boyfriend?”

“How about you leave her alone?” Conrad waves the boy off, watching as he walks off from the both of you before he turns around to face you.

“God he wouldn’t get off me he-“

“We’re going home.”

Conrad’s voice is cold, emotionless - a way you’d never heard him speak towards you.

“Wh-“

“We’re leaving,” He snaps once again, “I’m driving.”

“Con wh-“

He holds your arm in his grasp and tries to lead you away from the party, getting you as far as being just slightly away from the big crowd.

“Conrad get off me, you’re hurting me!” You exclaim, pulling your wrist from his grip, “What’s wrong with you?”

“(Y/n) you’re drunk and we’re going home,” He says harshly, looking at you with eyes that didn’t feel like his own, “Now get in the car.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” You wrap your arms over your chest, “Why are you being like this?”

“Because you’ve got guys fucking trying it on with you, thinking they’ve got a chance with you, and I’m stood right there (Y/n)!”

“Nothing happened!” You half-laugh, “He grabbed me and I told him to stop. What the fuck is wrong with that?”

“You think they don’t think they’ve got a chance with you?” Conrad raises his eyebrows, “Are you fucking blind?”

“No I’m not blind Conrad but I’m not going to fucking cheat on you with the first guy that shows me attention. Who the hell do you think I am?”

His shoulders drop a little like he’s realised the effect, but Conrad being Conrad will only let the mask slip for so long before he’s back to the coldhearted demeanour he seemed to have adopted for the night.

“Okay, we’re taking both of you home,” Steven walks over to interject, “I’ve not been drinking, I’m driving.”

You look at Conrad for a moment longer like you’re hoping he’s going to change his mind and reach out for you and apologise but he doesn’t make any move to do so.

He walks off ahead with Steven and you walk behind with Belly and Jeremiah.

Everyone is deathly silent on the drive home until you reach the house and they mumble a quick ‘good night’ before going into separate bedrooms. Conrad still hasn’t looked you in the eyes and, as you sober up more and more, you’re convincing yourself he never will.

“Con can we please-“

You pause as you watch him rummaging through the closet to pull out a pillow and blanket.

“What are you doing?”

“Sleeping downstairs,” He returns bitterly, turning around towards the door.

“You can’t be serious,” You scoff, “That’s it? You’re not even going to talk to me about it?”

“I’ve said what I wanted to say,” Conrad shrugs, “We’re not going to agree so now what?”

“We fight it out Conrad. We talk about it like fucking adults,” You shake your head, “We don’t just give up and act like each other’s worst enemy.”

He doesn’t respond.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“I’m unbelievable? I’m not the one with a guys arms around my fucking waist!”

“What the fuck was I supposed to do?” You yell, unbothered about every other pair of listening ears in the house.

Conrad doesn’t reply once more, stepping past you to walk into the corridor.

“You know what? Go fuck yourself Conrad,” You state coldly and he glances back only momentarily to watch as you slam the bedroom door, feeling it shake the room around you before you fall to the floor in tears.

The only other sound comes from his feet creaking the stairs on their way down.

—

The following morning, you’re up before anyone else in the house. You could barely sleep in the night, feeling oddly cramped in the spacious bed, feeling cold in the too-hot room.

Eventually, you give up on trying to sleep any more and instead make your way downstairs.

The couch is empty, apart from a small pile with the pillow and blanket stacked on top of each other. You frown a little at the sight, desperate for the calm of seeing Conrad asleep and peaceful. Your eyes draw outside to the garden where you can just about make out the shape of a body across one of the sun loungers, tucked away in the shade at the side of the pool.

He must be freezing.

You grab the blanket from the couch and tuck it under your arm, stepping outside as quietly as you can to reach Conrad.

His arms are wrapped over his chest and his heads tilted to the side, stretching out his prominent jawline. His breaths are calm and even and you’re conscious as ever to not wake him as you stretch out the blanket to lay over him.

You’re just about to turn away when you see his eyes start to flutter open just a little.

“(Y/n)?” Conrad’s voice croaks as you turn back towards the house.

You grimace a little and look down at the floor, “I- I thought you might be cold.”

Certain more than ever that this wasn’t the time to start up another argument, you start to make your way back inside with hurried steps.

“(Y/n) wait!” Conrad calls after you, “Will you stay?”

You pause in your steps and turn around to face him, “I-“

But it’s easier to not say a word, as if you don’t want to ruin the moment. You walk over to him slowly and he shifts over on the lounger so that there’s one thin half of it for you to lay on. He stretches out an arm and you lay down, resting your head on his chest whilst his other arm drapes the blanket over you. Both of you are silent at first, as if wanting to breathe in every ounce of contact you’d been missing.

“I’m sorry about last night,” Conrad says, trailing one hand up and down your back, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

You nod, “I’m sorry too. I should’ve just listened to you and I know you we-“

“Baby,” He speaks so softly you’re sure your heart swells at the feeling of him coming back to you.

You lean up slightly, just enough to rest on your elbow and turn your head to face him.

“I was in the wrong,” He assures you, “I’d been drinking and I saw you with that guy and I just flipped and I shouldn’t have.”

You nod, resting a hand on his chest, “It was kind of hot when you shoved him though.”

Conrad chuckles, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you between his legs, letting you lay over his torso, “You think?”

You shrug, “Just yell at the guy more and not me next time.”

He smiles softly, “Noted.”

———

Arguments came rarely and calmly between the two of you after that day. When you did disagree, it was softer and sadder - less fuelled and less aggressive. Conrad never raised his voice at you, and you never raised your voice at him. You told him when you were upset and he told you when he was irritated. It worked.

You’d been together for five years before things changed again. You were a year out from graduating college and Conrad was practically waiting for the day when you would. He’d already graduated so he came to visit you on the weekends when he could, he worked a job in a research lab in Boston and he’d call you when he finished to tell you about what he’d done that day. The plan for after you graduated was to get the money to buy your parents’ Cousins house from them. The two of you, in Cousins, in the place you’d fell in love. It would be a dream.

You were back in Cousins for the summer after your third year of college and you were, of course, staying with his family and the Conklins. Everything had been completely normal until this one day where it felt like the whole house’s mood had shifted.

“Morning babe,” You yawn as you walk downstairs, into the kitchen where Conrad and Jere are speaking in hushed tones.

They stop abruptly when you walk in.

“Hey!” Jeremiah smiles a little too widely, “I’m gonna… I’m gonna head out.”

You frown as he hurries past you and turn back to Conrad.

“What was that about?”

He shrugs and walks over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist, “Jere’s Jere.”

You rest your head against his chest and breathe in the scent of cologne that clings to his clothes.

“Do you fancy waffles?” He suggests, his hands moving up to your shoulders to massage the skin over the material of your baggy t-shirt.

You pull away from him and narrow your eyes, “Waffles?”

“Don’t look at me like that, Im being romantic,” He rolls his eyes at you, walking away to get the ingredients from the cupboard.

“Oh I’m not complaining,” You grin, pushing yourself to sit on the countertop, “Did I forget an anniversary or something?”

“Can’t a guy do something nice for his girlfriend without an ulterior motive?” He questions you, walking over to open the cupboard beside your legs, pulling out the waffle iron.

You shrug, “We’ll see.”

As he stands back up, he leans in quickly to kiss you, “I’ve got some errands to run later but I’ll be back in time for dinner, Belly suggested we all go out.”

“Our for dinner? We never go out for dinner,” You frown, “Why would we-“

“Stop being so suspicious,” Conrad scoffs, “We’ll go somewhere nice.”

“You’re weird today,” You joke and he rolls his eyes at you once again.

—

Later that day, Conrad’s still out and you get a text from him telling you he’ll meet you at dinner rather than coming home first. You’ve been lounging around the house since he left, soaking in the sun in the garden before you came in to shower.

Belly knocks on your bedroom door as you’re laying across the bed watching The Office.

“Hey!” She grins, “Do you know what you’re wearing to dinner?”

You frown as she drops down onto your mattress, “No I’ll probably just put a jumper on or something.”

“I think-“ She looks around your room, “I think we should dress up.”

“Dress up? You’ll never get the boys to agree to that,” You laugh, “Where are we even going?”

She shrugs, “You’ll find out.”

You lean up onto your elbows and narrow your eyes at her, “Why’s everyone being so suspicious today? What aren’t you telling me?”

She laughs and her mouth moves like she can’t find the words, “I’m not saying anything.”

“Belly!” You exclaim as she hurries off from your bed.

“Just… wear something nice,” She sticks her head around the frame of your door, “Maybe that white dress that Conrad loves.”

You glance over to the closet and glaze over your appearance in the mirror. Maybe you should make an effort, it was rare you were ever going anywhere fancy enough to do anything like that. But they all seemed set on making this night a good one - who were you to question that?

Within the hour, you’ve done some light makeup, brushed through your hair and curled the bits around your face, and pulled on the white dress that Conrad loved so much.

When you step out to walk down the stairs, Belly, Steven, Taylor and Jere are all stood looking up at you.

“What the fuck is going on?” You laugh, “I feel like I’m going to prom.”

“Wh-“ Steven coughs, glancing at the others, “We’re just, um, you know, we don’t want to be late.”

You grab your purse quickly and hurry down the stairs, “Calm down, Im ready now.”

They follow you outside and you all walk over to Jere’s car where you go to open the back door.

“Um,” Belly stops you, “You can sit in the front.”

You look at her with a puzzled expression before climbing into the front with Jeremiah, watching as the other three pile into the back.

“Seriously guys what the fuck is going on?” You question as Jere pulls off from the driveway and starts down the road.

“What are you talking about?” Taylor shrugs, “We’re just hungry.”

“Everyone’s like treading on eggshells with me today, it’s weird,” You comment, “Con seemed like weirdly nervous before he left earlier too, I’ve never seen him run out of the door so quickly and I-“

You pause as the sights around you seem to change, Jeremiah taking a turn down a country lane.

“Jere this isn’t the way to the restaurant we need to go…”

You stop yourself once more as his face breaks into a grin that it’s impossible to hide.

“Seriously what aren’t you telling me?” You turn around to glance at the three of them in the back, all of their heads close together looking out of the windscreen.

Belly nods her head in that direction and you turn back to the front, your lips parting and every single sensation in your body seeming to ignite and disappear all in one moment.

There, in the exact spot where he’d first kissed you, is Conrad.

There’s a scattering of rose petals laid out across the grass and candles lining the edge of the cliff that dips down towards the town.

“Oh my god,” You exhale, glancing at the others in the car with tears already in your eyes.

“Go on, I think he’s waiting for you,” Jeremiah nods, squeezing your arm.

The other three look at you with widened eyes and bright smiles on their faces as you open the passenger door and step out.

“I was worried Jere would take you the wrong way,” Conrad calls over to you as you walk over towards him.

“Conrad this is-“ You stop yourself, glancing around at the sight that you’re sure is something out of a dream, “I don’t even know what to say.”

“You look beautiful,” Conrad reaches out his hands for you to hold, “I- God, I’d planned this whole thing and now it’s like I don’t know where to start.”

You step just a foot in front of him and squeeze his hands, looking up at him with watering eyes.

“(Y/n) I love you,” Conrad smiles back at you, “And there are a thousand words I could say now to tell you that, but nothing will be more important than telling you that I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. And so…”

“Oh my god,” You release again, watching as he lowers down onto his knee, reaching back into his pocket to pull out a small velvet box.

“(Y/n) (Y/l/n) will you marry me?”

“Oh my god,” You repeat once again as if they’re the only words going through your brain, your eyes spilling with tears.

Conrad looks up at you with overwhelming emotion in his eyes, “Well?”

“Yes!” You laugh, grasping either side of his face in your hands as he stands up onto his feet, “Of course! Yes!”

He looks down to push the silver ring onto your finger before wrapping his arms around your waist, lifting you up into his grasp before he lowers you down to the ground. His eyes shift into that same adoration they’d held for you when you first came here that night, and he leans in to kiss you with the same excitement as that first time too.

At the sight, a chorus of cheers extend from the car and you both glance over to see all four of them staring out the window with wide grins over their faces.

You laugh through the tears in your eyes and Conrad tightens his arm around your waist, pulling you as close to him as humanly possible.

In that moment, in that perfect moment, you think of your six year old self, when you’d been a blushing mess meeting Conrad for the first time. Your twelve year old self so terrified at the thought of kissing him. The sixteen year old self that first kissed him in that car. And every year since of loving him.

You see yourselves getting married, your families laughing and telling you they knew it would be this way all along. The two of you growing old together, watching your kids grow up too. And, eventually, being sat in the same spot on this same cliff overlooking this same town, with the boy who’d held your heart for your entire life.

The boy who’d always be your Connie.

[arialerendeair]

Happy Birthday!!!!!! May all your wishes come true!!!! Good health and wealth to you!!!

As a Gabe anon, I feel compelled to give you a little idea and here it is. A Sleepless in Seattle AU!

Hob is a recently widowed father to a precocious 10-year-old, Robyn. They lost Eleanor just the year before and to help themselves, they pack up and move out of the city she grew up in to move to Seattle.

On the other side of the country, Dream is preparing to marry Calliope, whom he met at work. The relationship is fine. He likes her well enough and she likes him well enough. Marriage is just something that makes this all seem real.

It's Christmas Eve and while on a long drive home, Dream tunes into a radio show where Robyn is asking for a new wife or husband for his father. He's been real sad since his mom died and he just wants someone to join their little family.

Then Hob catches him and sends him off to bed and takes over the call. He gets to talking about what he loved about his wife and what he misses most. Dream heart melts for this stranger so many miles away.

Dream decides to write him a letter. He wants to meet Hob and Robyn on top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day, much to the chagrin of his friend Lucienne who rightly tells him he doesn't want to be in love in real life. He wants to be in love in a movie. He's also still engaged to Calliope after all. Dream thinks better of it and tosses the letter, which Lucienne still mails.

Hob meanwhile has moved on and has started dating again. Which Robyn doesn't like. He finds Gwen too weird for his tastes. Besides he likes Dream's letter the best. Which puts the house at odds. Robyn wants to go to New York for Valentine's Day, Hob wants to go to a cabin for the weekend with Gwen. They fight about it all day long until Eurydice, Robyn's new friend, uses her parent's travel agency to put him on a plane.

Robyn's going to New York to see his new dad <3

- 🤜 anon

ANON I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE GRATEFUL IN MY LIFE THAT YOU DECIDED TO COME AND GRACE MY INBOX WITH THIS. BECAUSE THIS IS GLORIOUS.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

Hob has never been more panicked in his entire life than he was when he got the phone call from his babysitter that Robyn wasn't at home. The ensuing fight with Gwen had been quick, vicious, and frustrating. She had understood his need to go after Robyn, of course, but when she found out that Robyn had left to meet this mystery letter person, they'd had a fight over the love letter that Hob still carried in his wallet.

(Why did he carry the letter in his wallet? How long had he had the loopy handwriting memorized, how long had he known every single word, no matter how many times he'd read it....)

Hob had taken Gwen home, and had accepted her demand to delete her number from his phone and hauled ass to the airport, purchasing a ticket the second he hit the counter, racing to the gate in time. The flight was agonizing, and Robyn had clearly turned his phone off, no matter how many times Hob looked at it and begged for his kid to answer one of his dozen or so texts.

~!~

Perhaps Dream should have known that Calliope would not stand to play second fiddle to anyone, even an imaginary man who had no basis or truth in reality. Yet when she'd handed him the ring back with a regretful look, he'd felt nothing but relief. He had no doubt that in another world, they could, perhaps, find happiness together, but every time Dream looked at the Empire State Building... he wondered.

Strange that the sound of a single man's voice had made him decide to abandon all reason. But Robert Gadling (call him Hob, according to his adorable son) had sounded so wistful and so lovely that it had been impossible not to be drawn to the possibility of offering what it was that the man was seeking. No matter that he lived across the entire country and the possibility of him being at the top of the Empire State Building tonight was so unlikely as to be called impossible...

The romantic in him couldn't deny it how much he wanted Hob to be waiting for him there. Even if Dream had no idea what he looked like, or how someone like Robyn would like him, it didn't matter. The possibility of it all was a break in the 'fine' that it seemed had been suffocating him his entire life.

So Dream raced to the Empire State Building, barely making it past the guard, promising a quick look before he left, and ran out onto the observation deck. The sight of no one there, only an empty chill, had his heart sinking, because of course he'd been foolish, of course he had wanted too much, wanted the impossible - when the door opened behind him.

Standing there was a man, with his son, and they were in the middle of an argument.

"I told you no one would be up here, they were closed-"

"But Dad, his letter promised! He promised!"

"I know, but sometimes adults make promises that they can't keep," Hob said, his voice softening, gentling.

Dream stared in shock, because it was impossible not to recognize both of those voices. He'd heard them in his dreams for weeks now, and they likely hadn't seen him because of his all black ensemble. He cleared his throat and stepped into the orange light from the inside.

"I am in the habit of keeping my promises," he offered up, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket. He stepped closer, even tough it was clear that they were both in shock. A moment later, Robyn was barreling toward him, and Dream caught the boy against his legs carefully, well aware that Robert Gadling (Hob, Hob, his name was Hob) was watching. "It's a pleasure to meet you Robyn."

"I knew you'd come, Mr. Dream. You promised. You said that everyone needs to have dreams, and how important they are, no matter how fantastical they are!" Robyn said, his face pressed tight to him. "You're perfect for Dad, I just know it."

Dream swallowed down the instinctive disagreement, because he was far from perfect for anyone, and in fact, it was the distinct opposite, where he was often too much. "I think that will be up to your Dad and I to determine, Robyn. But I have you to thank for our meeting." He knelt down, uncaring of he cold granite on his knees and met the warm brown eyes of the boy who loved his father so much, he'd tried to do the impossible.

"No matter what happens, Robyn, never forget how important it is to-"

"Put magic into the world," Hob finished, quoting Dream's letter from memory, meeting the wild blue eyes that sent his heart stuttering all over again. "Because if we do not make our own magic, if we do not rejoice in the magic there is to be had, it will fade away before we even know what we have lost."

Dream's breath caught and he stared at Hob. "You read my letter," he whispered.

"Dad keeps it tucked in his wallet," Robyn stage-whispered. "He's read it so many times when he thought I wasn't looking. I think he needs a little magic."

Dream's lips quirked and he grinned as Hob began to flush, his cheeks growing more and more red by the second. "Does he now?" He reached out and gave Robyn's hands a small squeeze before standing and moving closer to where Robert Gadling was tugging at his ear lobe in embarrassment.

"Hello Robert," Dream breathed, his voice soft. "My name is Morpheus Endless, but I would have you call me Dream."

"Hello Dream," Hob repeated, his voice soft, reverent. He could feel his cheeks were flaming red because the most beautiful man he'd ever seen swayed closer to him. "Call me Hob, please? If that's not too weird?"

Dream nodded. "Hob," he agreed. "You kept my letter?"

Hob nodded and reached out to pull it from his letter, unfolding it carefully. "I, I used to be a medieval professor. No one hand writes letters anymore. But yours was handwritten."

"Of course. It was important," Dream whispered. "It had to be a little bit magical. For the man I fell a little in love with over a radio show."

Hob gasped, his eyes widening. There was a story in the way Dream's chin tilted up, unrepentant, but aware it was too much, that it should be too much. It was a story he very much wanted to discover. He swallowed and looked down at Robyn who was grinning wildly at both of them.

"I think I fell a little in love with you when you turned around to tell Robyn you always keep your promises," Hob admitted, his heart pounding. Pink streaked across Dream's cheekbones and he wanted to chase it with his lips. "But don't you live in New York? We, we don't..."

"As it turns out," Dream said, pushing his hands into his pockets. "I am a children's author who is quite able to work from wherever he likes. So perhaps, I could offer my guest room to you both this evening, and I could visit the west coast soon?"

"Really soon, Mr. Dream?" Robyn asked. "Please?"

Dream winked at Hob and looked down at Robyn. "If I can manage it, I have every intention of flying back on the same flight as both of you. I can't have someone else stealing your father away when I have decided to properly court him, after all."

The noise that escaped his throat was embarrassing, but hearing Dream say that he intended to COURT him was... he wasn't the one who should be COURTED, not when Dream was, was, he was the one who deserved to be courted!

"If he will have me of course," Dream added, meeting Hob's eyes again. "I am perhaps out of practice, but I will do my best."

Hob could see the hesitancy there, the worry, and if he wasn't halfway in love with Dream already from that small declaration, he didn't know himself at all. So instead, he reached out, tangled his hands in the collar of Dream's jacket and pulled him in close. "We can practice together," he breathed against Dream's lips, swallowing his gasp with a soft kiss.

They broke apart to Robyn's loud cheer followed by the pointed clearing of the throat of the elevator bellman. Hob laughed and pressed his forehead against Dream's, holding onto his hand tightly as they made their way to the exit. Perhaps it would end horribly, perhaps it was a dream not meant to last, but...

Dream didn't let go of his hand for the rest of the night.

Or on the flight home.

Or on the car ride back to his house.

Or when he offered the use of his guest room in return for Dream's kindness.

Or, when, three weeks later, he admitted that he had fallen in proper love, and he wanted Dream to stay.

Dream didn't let go, and Hob let himself believe in the magic of happily ever after.

[cloudbersoo]

romance tropes｜zb1

synopsis: zb1 members as different romance tropes !

tags: member x gn!reader, fluff, suggestive (only jiwoong and taerae), mostly just cute shit!, hao's one is a little morally questionable, gunwook is only one year younger than yn, not proofread

word count: 725 in total

a/n: helloo. i came up with these last night. i tried to use different tropes than what others have done to keep it interesting! don't date your friends' exes, okay bye.

my playlist while writing: polaris by chen!! it's so so good

kim jiwoong as the rebound

you and your ex broke up about three weeks ago

few of your friends had convinced you to go clubbing with them so you could forget about your ex

that’s when you met jiwoong 

the two of you clicked well and eventually one thing led to another… 

he could tell you still had someone else in your heart but he assured you he didn’t mind as he kissed you

you still wished jiwoong could someday be more than just a rebound…

zhang hao as the best friend’s ex

everyone knows friends’ exes are off limits

but the way zhang hao’s eyes were following your every move was making you feel some type of way

even in a packed up party, it felt like it was just the two of you in the room

you longed for him and he must have felt the same way about you

sometimes you wondered if you had anything to do with your friend’s break up

and how mad she will be if you were to leave the party with hao tonight…

sung hanbin as the sibling’s babysitter

your practice was cut short and you were able to go home much earlier than usual

what you didn’t realize was that hanbin would still be at your house babysitting your little sister

hanbin might have been the nicest and prettiest person you’ve ever met

but sadly you never really got the opportunity to get to know him

maybe tonight that could change as you tucked your sister to bed…

seok matthew as the brother’s best friend

going to a ski lodge during the winter break has been one of your family’s traditions for a long time

your parents had always let you to bring a friend to the trip, but this year none of yours could make it

so you had found yourself hanging out with your brother’s best friend matthew a lot

one fateful night that involved hot choco and few sweet kisses seemed to change everything

but what happens at the ski lodge stays at the ski lodge, right?

kim taerae as the best friend you hooked up with

you and taerae had basically grown up together

you’ve experienced many things together over the years but you never thought you’d ever wake up in his arms without any clothes on

the events of the previous night were coming back to your mind

after many shots of alcohol and a make out session on the back seat of a taxi, you two had ended in taerae’s apartment – into his bed

was this the start of something new or just a drunken mistake?

shen ricky as the city boy in your small town

you’ve grown up in a small town where everyone knows everyone

so it wasn’t hard for you to notice the young man amongst the familiar faces

he seemed lost and out of place with his clean white button up and expensive black sunglasses

you soon found out the man's name was ricky and he was the grandson of one of your neighbours

to say you were intrigued was an understatement 

maybe this handsome stranger could be your next summer love?

kim gyuvin as the flirty customer at your coffee shop

working as a barista was pretty exhausting

but there was at least something or rather someone that made your work a little more fun

a boy by the name of gyuvin came to your coffee shop almost daily and it was always the highlight of your day (but don’t tell him that)

he’d come in with his friends to study but would spend majority of his time staring at you

“anything else with your drink?” “maybe your number?”

you might as well give it to him one day…

park gunwook as the best friend’s (little) brother

you’ve always thought that you only liked gunwook in a little brother type of way

but ever since you both entered high school, you couldn’t help but to look at him differently

he had grown up nice, quite literally as he now towered over you

one day you found a love letter in your locker that was signed by him

your best friend only teased you about the blush that had creeped into your cheeks

you’ll take it as a sign that you had your best friend's approval…

- end

[curiositymemes]

MISTER MAGIC SENTENCE STARTERS : PART ONE.

taken from the 2023 novel by kiersten white. trigger warnings for unreality, trauma, religion, and cults. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

“oh, i can see it in your eyes.”

“i’ve always known.”

“it’s okay to ask questions. questions are how we get to know the world.”

“safe, he / she / they’d say at the end of the day. safe, instead of good night, or i love you.”

“yes, it’s really me.”

“a lot of people never got closure. including us. especially us.”

“we all worried about you, you know.”

“i can’t believe i finally found you.”

“name, what did you do?”

“you don’t recognize me, do you? well, i’d never forget you, name.”

“what the actual fuck?”

“you’ve been here the whole time?”

“there’s always a spot for you.”

“i feel weirdly compelled to warn you about stranger danger.”

“i don’t remember you, but i know you. that’s enough for me, today.”

“i have so many more questions than i did before.”

“it was amazing, until it wasn’t.”

“we were all just kids.”

“time passed different then.”

“i’d say it’s like no time has passed but really too much has.”

“don’t overthink it. we’re almost there.”

“that’s so creepy. please read them all right now.”

“i changed my mind. i don’t want to hear this.”

“what’s fanfic?”

“sounds like one of those nonsense inspirational facebook posts.”

“this can’t be right.”

“i’m giving it thirty more minutes.”

“stay with us tonight, wherever we end up.”

“again, i ask: what the fuck?”

“it looks like someone put a regular house on a medieval rack and tortured the shit out of it.” / “funhouse mirror version of a house.”

“name said we aren’t staying here, and we all know she’s / he’s / they’re in charge.”

“it’s late and cold and none of you are wearing jackets.”

“is it okay if i spend the night? is there room?”

“did we all collectively dream this?”

“how does everyone remember something that, for all intents and purposes, never existed???”

“WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP”

“don’t sit too close. you’ll burn your eyes out, remember?”

“sorry, i’m exhausted. it’s been a long day. long year. long decade.”

“can we figure everything out in the morning?”

“let’s explore. up, or down? down, right? gotta be down. that’s where the bodies always are.”

“your mom- / dad- / parent-voice is powerful.”

“you haven’t changed at all.” / “excuse me, i’m much handsomer.”

“shut up, dork.”

“i can’t remember the last time i saw this many stars.”

“i feel like i’m losing my mind.”

“i just can’t believe you’re here. you’re really here.”

“i felt so guilty that i lost you, i shaped my whole life around the space where you were missing.”

“it was my job to watch out for you.”

“i wasn’t strong enough.”

“is it crazy that i feel closer to you than anyone else in my life?”

“it haunts us. knowing what we had, and that we can never get it back.”

“i never moved on. i never moved on at all.”

“i was only age but that shit has haunted me ever since.”

“if i had to live inside it all these years, so do you.”

“you really don’t remember it?”

“which question do you want me to answer?”

“i can’t remember the last time someone made breakfast for me. that was really nice of you.”

“i need this to work. it’s got to work.”

“i don’t want you to go through this alone. i’ll stick with you, if you’ll have me.”

“there’s something else going on here.”

“hey now, that’s not fair.”

“i guess he / she / they taught me how to survive.”

“they loved me in a way i needed to be loved. they were always there.”

“i don’t know what was real and what was nightmares after.”

“to be fair, no one ever thinks i’m a p.i., which can come in handy.”

“she deserves / he deserves / they deserve so much more.”

“not hidden, just unnoticed.”

“i’d say get a life, but i’m here talking to you about it, so i can’t really criticize.”

“married a kennedy. it was that or a bush, and kennedys throw better parties.”

“i’m trying to think what else i shouldn’t say about myself.”

“don’t worry about it. they won’t be mad at you, and they’ll be mad at me no matter what i say.”

“i figure, why poke a sleeping bear when you can kick it in the balls instead?”

“my rebellious-teen phase was cut short.”

“people think children’s lives are simple, easy, but it’s the opposite. everything that happens around them affects them, and they don’t have the power to affect any of it back.”

“you seem really intense about a show that ended thirty years ago.”

“your hand okay?”

“i’ve never needed anything more in my entire life.”

“look elsewhere, sweetie. trust me. you don’t want anything out there.”

“the desert does have a way of wriggling into your soul.”

“you’re small, and you’re alone, and you don’t matter. and that’s okay.”

“go anywhere else.”

“this doesn’t have to change anything.”

“that’s what i want. change. it’s what i asked for.” 

“we’re not in trouble.”

“i should have given you a better warning.”

“i need to go alone. but don’t leave!” / “i’d never leave you.”

“if the cops come, we can thelma and louise it out of here.”

“name, you didn’t do anything bad. you were just a kid.”

“you can’t make me!”

“well, come in, i guess.”

“i’m afraid it’s not going to be enough.”

“did any of us actually make it out?”

“she / he / they didn’t ask anything of you except approval. maybe she’s / he’s / they’re still asking for that.” 

“you sound like a fucking psycho.”

“you can tell me if i did a good job, if people will like it.”

“we made a deal, so we’re doing what we’re told.”

“keep going. you’re doing great.”

“i did everything i was supposed to, followed all the rules.”

“i’m so sad, all the time, and i don’t know how not to be sad.” 

“i’m the link holding everything together and it’s all just weight. it’s weight, and it never lets up, and no one else ever holds it. no one else even notices it.” 

“i don’t understand how i can be there every moment of every single day and somehow not exist at the same time.”

“i’m not happy, and i don’t know how to be happy.” 

“i want this part to be over.”

“do you have any questions for me?”

“you were getting better.”

“we were doing what was best for you.”

“but you always got your way.” 

“because he’s / she’s / they’re an idiot, that’s why.”

“i was going to be so proud to be your mother / father / parent.” 

“even now, they blame me.”

“did you look for me?”

“i need your phone.”

“we were playing a game of hide-and-seek, but no one was seeking.”

“what do you want to do?”

“i like it better this way. adds character.”

“i thought you couldn’t remember what happened.” / “i didn’t say i didn’t remember. i said it doesn’t make sense.” 

“you’ve been through a lot.”

“i don’t matter.”

“all that matters is figuring out the truth.”

“listen to me: it wasn’t your fault.”

“i’ve always known i did something unforgivable.”

“you still blame yourself.”

“you were my responsibility.” 

“it feels unfinished, doesn’t it?”

“you want to stay?”

“this is a celebration, not a tribunal.”

“she says  / he says  / they say they’ll meet us there in a couple hours.”

“oh, it’s not that bad of a joke.”

“why are you sleeping, lazybones? there’s so much to do.”

[xtrablak674]

Singing my life with his words...

I am not sure what I expected, but I didn't expect that.

Trailers, I think they serve a purpose, in my personal opinion they can skew expectations, generate false anticipation and quite frankly spoil the story. I stopped watching them a few years ago. I mostly pick my films based on familiarity, or subject material and sometimes, well a lot of times seeing stills or gif sets of the film on Tumblr.

Hey I am a visual artist, pulling out stills of a film that feature its visual aesthetics is like crack to me, I just can't get enough! Recently I added more queer films to my diet, and albeit tonights Friday Night Movie's theme wasn't solely left to the gays, All of Us Strangers had been stalking me for weeks all over the Tumblr-verse, so I gave in and added it to the list along with The Marvels and The Color Purple, two other '23 films that kept @'ing me.

Part of my process in choosing my films is traditionally picking a theme or genre and trying to watch films from different decades just to mix it up a bit. These films were all from last year, so they only other thing I could use to distinguish them was their release dates, this placed All of Us, in the middle, right after Marvel's latest block-bluster. #YesThatWasShade

Having peeped that this was categorized as romance and fantasy, I was curious what made it fantasy. Once again IMDB had mis-labeled a film, this wasn't fantastical but a psychological thriller! #LeSigh Maybe I was way too close to the subject material and Andrew Scott clearly being my contemporary wasn't helping the matter at all.

Some of the details were different, albeit after my moms death I was raised as a single-child. I came from a one-parent home, not two. We didn't live in a house but an apartment. We were clearly not middle-class but living below the poverty level. Even with all of these differences I felt exposed in a way that wasn't remotely comfortable. How had this whyte man found out about my story and was now telling it on a stage for all the world to see? #😳

Metastatic breast cancer was the cause of death listed on her death certificate, not a car accident. I wasn't left alone in her bed while she left me for a Christmas party, but I discovered her dead in her bed, the couch in the living room four days before my eleventh birthday. Nine years later I buried my father, who was found by his parents rotting in his Harlem apartment, a reverse to the film where the dad went first followed by the mom.

Like the film they were joined in a way by both dying at approximately forty-four years of age. I rued the moment I would be the same age because like my parents, I thought I'd never live past it, but just like Adam I ultimately ended up being older than my parents than when they died. If I met them now, I guess I would be the one dispensing words of wisdom.

Unlike Adam I wasn't lonely, I have lived alone for nearly thirty years, and have had moments of loneliness, but like so many things that a multiple-orphan and an individual with intersectional identities, I had developed coping methods that were born when I was separated from my siblings at eleven and for the first time had to suffer the world on my own, navigate bullying and nasty taunts from other children. I had learned to have a rich internal emotional life, being my own best friend, and creating adventures in the simplest of things. I had become my own best company.

But like Adam I longed for connection, I longed for resolution around my dead parents. But unlike Adam I am not dead. That's my big reveal/spoiler these many paragraphs in to this essay/journal entry. I think everyone we encountered in that film was dead. #HolySixSenseBatman Delving into how I understood this is immaterial to how it still felt. His parents wanted him to move-on, which could be misconstrued as moving on with his life, but could also have been acknowledging that he was indeed dead and accepting it. The nuance of interpretations of what exactly is going on in the film is masterful, and the director never quite gives us a definitive answer.

Adam felt he wasn't particularly successful with anything in his life, still feeling the scars of his childhood bullying, taunting and the trauma of losing his parents at such a young age. I have mirrored this feeling about my own life, with the only difference that I have been more successful than my parents because I made it to the upper-middle class. #yea But like Adam I have always felt I am just passing-the-time, existing and muddling through.

Curiously the last real relationship I had was nearly twenty years ago, and also interesting was the fact that like Adam, Karl was my junior and like Harry was damaged in many ways, clearly not visible to the world around him, because even my best friend at the time thought he was the boy next door, literally mirroring the movie by his perceptions.

Isn't this why we watch films? Don't we see ourselves in the characters on the screens and sometimes wish we were them or living the lives they were living? Or sometimes what we see on screen is too close to reality and art imitates life in a ghastly manor. But then that means the director/writer has done his job right? Making you feel the pains, indecisions and joy of fictional characters is what a good film is about. But is it exciting to see yourself realized in a way that you wish wasn't you?

All of Us Strangers is a psychological thriller, clearly with aspects of drama and romance. As the reviews say it is haunting and heartbreaking. It is also something else that I am tired of in queer cinema, albeit as realistic as it is, specifically to my own journey, it once again paints queer-life as sad, aloof and unfulfilled.

Having dealt with dysthymia my entire adult life I guess this is in some ways true, but as I explored in a previous entry, I really want our queer movies to be more aspirational. I am not saying Red White & Royal Blue syrupy, but some middle place where we can be not-partnered, not have kids and not be dying or dead and be content with our lives. Is this asking too much?

[Photo Courtesy of All of Us Strangers via IMDB]

[insanesanitysparks]

Thankfully Together Day 1 Izuku Midoriya x Ochaco Uraraka

Paring Name (because I dislike IzuOcha) Izuco I think this sounds as adorable as they are.

Summary: At first they were strangers. Then they were friends. They stood together as allies. Now they're grown up. Now they're taking the next step. Now they're falling in love. Partners on the battlefield and in life.

Largely based off of how things went with my first boyfriend. A lot of uncertainty and doubt with the first relationship, but a whole lot of love and care. Might do a P2 on this one with their wedding night or honeymoon.

Tags: mha, bnha, Minors DNI, Thankfully Together, Aged up Characters, Izuku Midoriya, Ochaco Uraraka, Izuku Midoriya x Ochaco Uraraka, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Simple Things, Sweet Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Self-Doubt

3257 words

Completed Thankfully Together One-Shots: Day 2: Denki Kaminari x Kyoka Jiro Day 3: Enji Todoroki (Endeavor) x Rei Todoroki

The Soft, the Sweet, and the Strong

Izuku and Ochaco’s relationship started slow. Izuku was focused on being a hero and Ochaco was too shy to admit her feelings. They were merely friends throughout most of high school, until Ochaco finally confronted the upbeat hero about how much she looked up to him. He was embarrassed. He’d never considered her anything more than a friend because no girl had ever given him the time of day before. He never thought she would see him as anything more than an ally. Well, apparently he was wrong.

They started dating and shortly after shared their first kiss, it was both of their first kiss. Izuku couldn’t count how many hours he spent researching the best way to kiss a girl but he could tell you how his mind blanked the second he tasted her cherry chapstick. At that point, he gave up trying to remember what he’d read and just went with what felt right. He started to worry afterwards that Ochaco might not have liked it, but when she finally pulled away a shy blush decorated her soft cheeks as she offered a sweet, “Well, t-that was nice.” His heart felt like it exploded with relief and pride. She enjoyed it! He did too!

After graduation, Izuku visited Ochaco at her parents’ house as often as he could. He became a welcome guest by his parents who appreciated how courteous the young man was to their daughter and how respectful he was to them when he dropped by. If Izuku stayed for dinner, he always helped Ochaco’s mother clean up afterwards. If he walked in the door to see Ochaco’s father working on some project around the house, he offered his help before the man had to ask.

Occasionally they would have a family movie night and her parents developed a habit of watching the young couple more than the movie. Ochaco would snuggle up close to Izuku who would be sitting stiff as a board next to her, not wanting to cross any boundaries. Sometimes Ochaco would drape his arm around her and that arm wouldn’t move an inch until Ochaco moved. Her parents shook from stiffled laughs when Izuku would get caught up in the movie and forget about his hand. The appendage sliding down Ochaco’s side until Izuku became aware of it again and jerked it back up, away from her behind. It was so innocent, so sweet. Ochaco’s parents loved it!

After one movie night, Ochaco’s parents stood and stretched but Izuku did not. Her father looked at the young man curiously before he realized what the issue was. Ochaco had fallen asleep on top of her boyfriend and Izuku, being the kind-hearted young man that he was, allowed her to use his body as a pillow. The parents passed a knowing look between each other before Ochaco’s father approached and gently pushed at Izuku’s shoulder. He pushed the young man down to lay on the couch with Ochaco resting on top of him. Ochaco’s mother brought a blanket to drape over the two. Izuku stared wide eyed at them, unsure of what was happening until Ochaco’s father patted his shoulder and gave him an approving nod. “We trust you, son. Besides, it’s pretty late. Stay here tonight.” Izuku was both honored and terrified by their trust in him.

This honor and fear intensified when the Uraraka’s business began to gain traction again. A new contract required them to travel away from home for a few weeks and they wanted Izuku to stay with Ochaco so that she wouldn’t be home alone. Of course the young hero agreed, even though he knew full well that Ochaco could take care of herself. He figured that maybe her parents were testing him. They knew their daughter could kick ass, they just wanted to see if the two would get handsy while the adults were away.

Izuku had no plans on doing anything more than kissing, but Ochaco had other plans. The powerful, young woman pulled him into her room on the first night and they slept in each other’s arms. Izuku wasn’t sure he would be able to go back to sleeping alone after that. Something just felt right about holding her in his arms at night, and she was inclined to agree. There was a sense of security that washed over her when in Izuku’s arms. She couldn’t imagine life without his embrace.

One night, Ochaco got curious. Her hands traced his body–his cheeks, down his neck, over his shoulders, biceps, across his chest, down his chest. He shivered under her touch and swallowed nervously when her fingers hooked the band of his shorts. She waited for him to give a slight nod before she pulled his shorts down and revealed his hardened member. She was shocked by the size and girth, it being larger than she expected. He was self-conscious about the size and girth, being about average according to the statistics he’d researched. He wondered if he should have shaved before he came over, but then she might have thought he was expecting something. Did girls like it when guys shaved their pubic hair? Did they care? He made a mental note to research it later. In the meantime he had other problems to worry about. Like how far she wanted to take things. He didn’t have any protection on him, he wasn’t planning on getting sexual. Unless she was on protection but then that meant sex and he hadn’t researched sex yet…

Ochaco stopped his mumbling by gripping his member and cupping his balls. She looked to him to see if that was okay but all she could get out of him now was a low, breathy, “Oh-aah.” She gently squeezed and started to pump his cock, watching him as she worked. His face was red, his lips parted as heavy breaths leaked out. He wanted to hold her, but dammit! Where the hell was okay to put his hands? He settled for one hand on the small of her back and the other resting in her hair. A bad move on his part as it pulled her closer. She latched her mouth onto his neck–licking, kissing, and sucking until she found a sensitive spot that had him bucking into her hand and throwing his head back in pleasure. She knew he was getting close by the way his hand tightened in her hair and by his panted warning, “Ah-uh-ah, close!” He tried to pull away, not wanting to make a mess on her, but she refused to let him go. “Ah-ah-Ocha-co!” He whined a second before his hips spasmed and he coated her hand in off-white cream.

She gave him a quick peck on the lips before releasing him to go wash her hands, returning with a rag for him to wipe himself down with. He had an obvious hickey on his neck and was clearly exhausted from the event. Ochaco felt slightly guilty about it, he’d had a long patrol earlier and she’d gotten carried away. She just wanted to look, she hadn’t actually planned on going this far. When he finished cleaning himself up, he reached for her. He planned on reciprocating the pleasure, but she merely pushed him down and pulled the covers over them. She snuggled into his arms and whispered a good night. He felt guilty about not pleasuring her too. He didn’t know that she felt happier than orgasming knowing that she made him feel good enough to release his load in her inexperienced hands.

The next night, Izuku tried to return her affections again, only for her to roll away and make some claim about having to go to the bathroom. He knew she was lying. He never heard the toilet flush. As much as it hurt, he didn’t hold it against her. If she wasn’t in the mood then he wasn’t going to push it. He did, however, take offense the next night when he tried again. She rolled away like he expected her to but came back to him later, wanting to touch him. He shuffled away from her with a simple, “Not tonight, Ochaco.”

“Is everything okay?” She asked, genuinely concerned. She wasn’t blind, she’d seen his boner. So then why would he roll away?

“I just don’t feel like it tonight.” He lied and she knew he was lying. He closed his eyes, feigning exhaustion, and she took the opportunity to cup his member through his shorts.

“I think someone would disagree.” She hummed in amusement. She regretted it when a moment later she found herself pinned to the bed, arms forced above her head with Izuku looming over her…looking a mix between pissed and hurt.

“I said, Not. Tonight. Ochaco.” His voice was deep and dark, “I’m not-I don’t want to be the only one to feel good. I want to make you feel good too.”

“I know.” She responded softly, “I’m just, I’m not ready for sex yet. But even if I’m not ready, I still want to make you feel good. You make me feel good all the time so-”

“But I didn’t even do anything the other night.” Izuku interrupted, tilting his head in curiosity. “How do I make you feel good?”

Her face got significantly redder as she forced herself to meet his puppy eyes. “W-well, it’s always really nice when you hold me or kiss me, but after the other night…you, um, your moans are really hot and make me feel all giddy and excited when I hear them.”

Izuku released her hands and sat back to study her. “My…moans?” He’d never considered himself to be an incredibly sexy guy, not even after all his training with All Might and the finely toned body that resulted from said training. He leaned back down over her to kiss her, one hand cupping her face while the other rested over her belly. “I want to make you feel even better than you do when hearing my moans.” He breathed in her ear, “Will you let me try?”

She shook her head and scrunched her eyes. “I’m not ready for sex, Izuku.”

“Not sex.” He quickly corrected her. “I want to try something that’s not sex.”

Ochaco stared at him with uncertainty for a moment before slowly nodding. “Okay, I trust you.”

The words reverberated in his skull as he recalled how her parents said the same thing. He doubted whether he should continue, but Ochaco had already put her hands all over him… “Just let me know if you want me to stop. I promise I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. You just have to tell me.” She nodded wordlessly and he began, heart thundering in his chest. He’d seen her naked before but this…this was so much different!

He started with her shirt, lifting it slowly as he kissed from her stomach up to her breasts. He massaged them while gently sucking at her nipples, occasionally grazing them with his teeth. She arched up into his touch with needy moans and squirmy whimpers, making him harder than he ever thought possible before. His hands kneaded down her sides as he worked, stopping at the hem of her shorts when her hands darted down to stop him.

“Ochaco?” He glanced up at her to see her face twisted with nervousness, but she didn’t say anything about stopping. He gave her a minute before pulling his arm from her grip and continuing to tug off her pants.

“I-Izuku…” She whispered when he finally succeeded, and he thought he had an inkling as to why she was so nervous about him seeing her down there.

“Ochaco.” He repeated, voice low, rhythmic, and soothing, “It’s not sex that you’re actually worried about is it? Or at least, that’s not the only reason you wouldn’t let me pleasure you?” He slid down her body, positioning his head between her legs and looking up at her with knowing eyes. “There are other ways to make someone feel good, so your hesitation didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me until now… Ochaco, you weren’t afraid that I would be turned away by a little hair on your pussy?” He accentuated his question with an experimental lick between her folds, chuckling when she jerked at the contact. He hummed and mumbled against her clit, knowing the vibrations would drive her wild, “You put your tongue all over me the other day, when I came by covered in sweat and grime from my patrol. You didn’t care that I was dirty, you didn’t care that I didn’t shave. What makes you think that I would care if you didn’t?”

She opened her mouth to respond but only lewd moans escaped her lips. Tears pricked at her eyes from hom lucky she felt. How was she so fortunate to get a guy like him? In Junior High she pushed guys away, focusing on her future instead. In High School, she was so focused on not dying and then hiding her crush on Izuku. Guys always thought when they heard that her family was struggling that she would be an easy catch, that they could throw money at her and get an easy blow job or something more if they had a lot of money to throw at her. When they realized that she had standards, that she wouldn’t stoop that low, they walked away while hurling degrading insults at her. And now here she was, being eaten out by Izuku who didn’t care if they had sex, if she was clean shaven or hairy… He was a popular hero, he could have his pick of any girl out there, and goodness knows there were a lot of girls out there prettier than her. But he wasn’t with any of them. He was here. With her.

She glanced down at him, listening to him mumble about the flavor. Her flavor. He rambled on about what foods affected the flavor and speculated on what she might have eaten beforehand that gave her the flavor he was tasting now. She felt herself going crazy at the way his low voice vibrated her clit, the way his warm tongue tasted her… She could feel fluid dripping down her ass but couldn’t tell if it was Izuku’s spit or her slick.

A moment later Izuku went quiet and lifted his head to study her. “Are you–you’ve been getting wetter the more I mumble. Does it just feel that good or does my muttering turn you on?”

She blushed in embarrassment. “It’s cute. A-and you’re doing it down there! How could I not get turned on?”

He smirked as he descended on her clit again, this time using his hand to hold her southern lips apart and allow his tongue to explore her further. He could feel her getting close, her legs clenching around him as her hands buried in his hair. She was shaking, desperate, afraid that he would let go. He had no intentions of stopping though, not until she was finished. He didn’t panic when she bucked and her legs clamped around his head, he just kept sucking as she rocked on his tongue. She released him as she came down from her high and he pushed himself up her body to kiss her. “You’re fucking amazing!” He breathed heavily, a little out of breath from when she suffocated him. He didn’t care. He loved her.

“You’re my hero.” She whispered breathlessly, “Let me reward you?”

As much as Izuku liked the sound of what she was implying, he had an idea that he wanted to try… “I’ve actually got something I’d like to try, if you’re up for it?” He offered tentatively.

“I like your ideas.” Ochaco nodded eagerly.

Izuku quickly repositioned himself, supporting himself with one thickly corded arm next to Ochaco’s head. With his other hand, he shimmied his boxers down and gripped his painfully hard member. He gazed down into Ochaco’s wide eyes as he started to stroke himself, taking in her plumps lips, the heavy blush of her cheeks, the sweet breaths she took as she watched him jerk himself off over her. His eyes trailing over her body like a piece of meat…it was erotic, made her feel erotic, like she was worth being lusted over.

“What are you doing?” She asked, drinking in the sight of him just as much as he was her. She couldn’t lie, the sight of him looking like he was about to come undone over her was mouthwatering. The sweat beading on his twitching muscles, the sexy moans he was releasing, the loving, desperate look in his eyes…

His voice was deep and husky when he answered her, “I-uh-fuck! I w-wanna cum on you. W-wanna m-mark you as mi-ine.” Ochaco’s heart clenched at his lewdly romantic gesture and she instinctively pulled him down for a passionate kiss. Apparently, that was all he needed as grunted into her lips and his hips stuttered. She felt his hot, wet release spatter onto her stomach and a low, hot, “Fuuuuck!” as the man over her rode out his pleasure and tried not to collapse on top of her.

When he finally opened his eyes again, Ochaco smiled sheepishly. “That was hot. Where did you come up with the idea?”

Now it was his turn to be embarrassed. “I read about it…when I was doing my research…”

Ochaco chuckled in amusement. “You know what? I’m glad you’re a nerd. You appear to have really good results come of your research.”

Izuku pulled her closer and grinned, “Guess I’ll have to do more research then, find more experiments to verify that research.” Ochaco was looking forward to it, but first…they needed to clean up.

After washing away the sweat, vaginal fluids, and cum from their bodies, the two young heroes quickly passed out in each other’s arms. Little did they know, Ochaco’s parents returned home early to find them naked and entangled in Ochaco’s bed. They weren’t exactly surprised, they knew something was likely to happen with two kids unsupervised and alone, but they never actually thought that they would witness it. Their daughter fast asleep with Izuku’s arms wrapped protectively around her. So what if the two young adults were both naked? It was the most content they’d seen their daughter in a long time.

The two adults carefully backtracked out of the house, not wanting to wake the sleeping couple and startle them with their early return. They would come back later, when they were sure the two would be more decent. Ochaco’s mother would distract her by showing her pictures and telling her stories about the job site while her father would guide Izuku to the side to have a very long lecture about taking responsibility when accidents happened. Izuku was confused, at first, until he realized that her father was assuming they had sex. It was a very awkward conversation as Izuku assured her father that they didn’t have full on sex and that he was waiting for Ochaco to give him the green light before proceeding. Ochaco’s father liked the sound of that. Before the older man could get a word out in response, the green headed youth looked at him with the most determined set of puppy eyes he’d ever seen. The young hero bravely looked him in the eye, only one question on his lips, “What do I have to do to marry your daughter?”

[kimmimaru]

So, probably a bit TMI (mentions of mental health) for random internet strangers but oh well. I'm sticking it under a cut for people who don't care lol.

So, I've been having a...difficult time lately. I'll keep it simple and just say I'm struggling pretty bad with personal shit. Anyway, I was considering looking into counselling but the NHS no longer fund talking therapy, it's only CBT and stuff which is helpful but not what I need. So I'd have to pay through the nose. And even if I could afford it I've only been able to find 1 single person in my entire town who specialises in treating autistic people. There may be more but honestly I have no idea where to even begin looking. Also like there's loads of groups for older people and people with toddlers but nothing for parents of older kids, groups for the parents I mean. I struggle very badly with making friends and talking to people, I'm awkward as fuck and have no idea how to socialise. Unfortunately I'm not a child so don't have anywhere to go to meet people like me. It's hard to make friends when neurotypicals have an instinctual dislike of autistic people (ok not everyone but apparently they can identify people as 'weird' without even speaking to them and generally tend to avoid us). Sorry, I did say this was probably TMI, but I'm just so fucking lonely and so stressed I'm having heart palpitations. I'm not sleeping either and unfortunately I don't have anyone to actually talk to about it so this is why I'm posting this here. Its at least just getting it all off my chest, even if it's not a long term solution maybe it'll be enough to actually help me get some sleep tonight. My mum was the person I talked to about all this shit, the only one I felt I could actually confide in and she's gone. I have family but they're busy with their own lives and tbh...I never felt like they ever really got me. My dad's a very closed off man, not in a cold way, he was always affectionate but he and my mum got divorced a long time ago and since then I've never felt able to talk to him about deep stuff. I suppose it's something to do with broken trust and all that crap. My sisters are way too busy and have their own problems and lives and my only brother is a lot older than me and far away. They all love me and care about me, I have never doubted it but none of them are neurodivergent. They don't understand me really and never have (that's not a self pitying 'oh woe is me' it's just a fact). It's a very weird feeling to be surrounded by people who love you but knowing they just don't get you. I am extremely aware that people would kill to have what I do, a big, loving family and they try really hard to understand and help but sometimes you just need more weirdos like you who see the world the same way and have the same kind of issues you do. What I want is a day. Just one single fucking day where I can just do what I need to do around the house without just staring at it for hours before I work up the spoons to do it. I want one day where I can actually do something creative as I've lost my drive (probably temporary, depression usually has the opposite affect on me and I write MORE when I'm depressed for some reason). I want to play with my daughter without constantly worrying about if she'll eat something other than junk food (she's an extremely picky eater), or is she'll take a bath without a fight or if she'll actually drink something for a change (yes, we are in contact with doctors about all this, it's just an extremely slow process). I want to wake up and not be exhausted for a change, I want to not be in constant pain for no fucking reason (chronic fatigue...yay). I want to not spend my days unable to focus on anything, to not be constantly disassociating because my stupid brain can't cope with too much sensory input. I am exhausted, I'm grieving and I just want to be normal for a fucking change. Anyway, it's all a lot more complicated than what I've written and it's very unlikely this makes any sense at all. But I needed to write it down, to tell someone, somewhere just so I can stop obsessing over all these thoughts. Maybe now I can sleep.

[marinerainbow]

Alright, I need to make a post that isn't Disney... So let's talk about horror! Specifically one of my favorite genres:

Two Sentence Horror Stories.

Writing a story, any story, is exceedingly difficult for many ways. But to make a whole story with just two sentences? A story that enraptured the reader and makes them shake but also want to know more? Now that is talent. And I never get tired of reading them.

So, even though nobody asked, here is my top 10 favorite two sentence horror stories and why I like them so much.

TW: Horror and creepy gifs, along with very unsettling topics. You have been warned. All credit goes to the original authors.

Number 10:

I never go to sleep.

But I always wake up.

It doesn't seem like much honestly. But when you really think about it, that's when it starts to get more creepy. Why is this person constantly awake? Why do they keep waking up? What do they awaken to?

But at the same time, to me, this feels like one of those horror stories where it's more unsettling with imagery rather than on its own. I first heard it in an animated top 10 list and the imagery with it is definitely freaky, but when you take that away I don't feel so scared anymore. Chilled yes, but not scared.

Number 9:

"Now be careful, that line of rock salt is the only thing keeping them out," the man said, welcoming my group into his refuge.

"Sea salt," I clarified, "sea salt keeps us out."

I do believe in the supernatural. I'm not the kind of person who will cover my whole house in salt cause I'm so paranoid about evil spirits, but I do believe that there are some creatures out there.

I am also anxious about the thought that if I ever do encounter a dangerous spirit or creature, I will not be prepared to face it or have the wrong information, just like the poor man in this story.

Number 8:

A girl heard her mother call her by name, and started to head downstairs.

Just before she did, her mother pulled her into her room and said, "I heard it too."

If you're a fan of two sentence horror stories, you've no doubt heard this one, or a variation of it.

Like the one above, it's probably been heard a dozen times. Though it's still one of my favorites. It didn't quite help that the video I first heard this story used the name Sarah for the girl, which just so happens to be my own name. So it kinda spooked me on a personal level too.

Number 7:

I always thought my cat had a staring problem, since she always seemed to be transfixed on my face.

I never realized until now, that she was always staring right behind me.

I've lived with cats for nearly my whole life. Literally. And I believe that animals can sense things that we can't, whether it be supernatural or otherwise.

So this story makes me shiver to think about, imagining this scenario with me and my own cat. And with my own fear, the thought of anything- or anyone- being behind me without my knowledge, it just makes it even worse for me.

Number 6:

I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, "Daddy, check for monsters under my bed."

I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me, quivering and whispering, "Daddy, there's somebody on my bed."

Every child's worst fear comes to life in the most terrifying way possible. Now the father has to make the decision, which one is his real son? And if he makes the wrong choice, or doesn't act fast enough, who knows what the consequences will be?

Number 5:

I told her there was no monster in her closet as I picked her up, and told her she could sleep with us tonight.

I figured that was the safest way off getting her out of the house without him realizing I saw him.

One of the many fears a parent would have. This is just so bone-chilling to read, I can only imagine how the narrator must have felt seeing a stranger in his daughter's closet.

Not to mention that, from the looks of things, it was a normal human intruder, nothing supernatural. To me, that just makes it even scarier. If it was a ghost or a demon, that would have been easier to deduce that the daughter is simply haunted. But a more real horror? Why was the man hiding in the girl's closet? What was he planning?

It's questions like that that are best left remained unanswered.

Number 4:

You get home, tired after a long days work and ready for a relaxing night alone.

You reach for the light switch, but another hand is already there.

I grew up in a household where at least one person was awake no matter what. And it wasn't like they had different schedules, my parents expressly told me and my siblings that it was to make sure that no one broke into the house or anything.

They relaxed on that over the years, I think, but it still stuck with me. I'm genuinely terrified of the thought of living alone now, and this story is one of the ways that perfectly captures my fear. I know someday I'll have to live by myself for some time until I start a family of my own. And this story always comes to mind when I think that.

Number 3:

The last thing I saw was my alarm clock flashing 12:07 before she pushed her long, rotting finger nails through my chest, her other hand muffling my screams.

I sat bolt upright, relieved it was only a dream, but as my clock read 12:06, I could hear my closet door creaking open.

I have lost count of how many times I've woken up in the middle of the night and thought I saw something creeping toward me. But then I would turn on the light, and nothing was there. I even have a memory from my childhood that I'm 65% sure is a genuine sleep paralysis story. Not to mention the kind of crazy or fucked up dreams I'll sometimes get before I wake up.

So when I read this story, it got to me on a personal level as well. Let me just say I'm grateful that my closet has no doors or else I'd probably try to barricade the doors every night just to reassure my subconscious.

Yeah, any supernatural creature in there may easily break through it, but at least I'll be able to get a few more minutes of peaceful sleep before I die.

Number 2:

When the kidnapper made me guess where he kept my daughter, I pointed to the basement and he said, "Correct!" And allowed me to see her.

But when I found her severed head in there, I realized every other choice would have been correct too.

Holy shit, do I even need to explain this one? A parent who was clinging onto the hope that they finally found their child, and their hope is squashed in the worst way imaginable.

It's mental, emotional, and in a way physical torture. And you can practically feel the sick, twisted smile on the kidnapper's face as you read this horror story.

And the worst part? This isn't even number one on this list.

Number 1:

After working a hard day I came home to see my girlfriend cradling our child.

I didn't know which was more frightening; seeing my dead girlfriend and stillborn child, or knowing that someone broke into my apartment to place them there.

This... Holy shit I actually had to reread this a couple of times when I first found it.

Someone breaks into my girlfriend and child's graves, takes them all the way from their burial sites to my home, breaks into my home, proceeds to purposefully place them in such a way that would have looked heartwarming if they were alive, and then (supposedly) leaves for me to find the scene all on my own with no explanation. It's like #2 but on steroids.

This isn't just a simple hatred for the victim. It's an obsession. Whether it be a love for this twisted game, or a crazy ex-lover who decides to torture their victim for leaving them, this is an obsession with mentally breaking the narrator of this story.

And that's my list. Do you guys agree? What would you pick for your own list?

[eclectic-mania]

she's a killer queen

2. turn and face the strange (ch-ch-changes)

(part 1) | (read it on ao3)

Point Place, WI

July 16, 1977

12:57 AM

A pair of mismatched eyes flew open. 

Jacqueline Burkhart was no stranger to waking up in the middle of the night, but the circumstances surrounding her lack of sleep this time around were definitely... weird. 

The sheets stuck to her sweaty—alright, not sweaty, Jackie Burkhart didn’t sweat—skin thanks to the sweltering heat of a Wisconsin July, and she pulled them off of her as she tried to take stock of what actually woke her up. 

She hadn’t dreamt, not that she could remember, and thank god for that. Her dreams nowadays were downright freaky. In them, she saw other people, people she’d never seen before, people from all sorts of backgrounds. There was a running joke between her and their friends that she hated foreigners—a sentiment her parents seriously believed, even if Jackie herself could never treat it as more than a joke, but even that joke died at the sheer love and kinship she felt for these women that she only ever met in her sleep. In some dreams she is these women, and as them, she fights monsters with deformed faces and giant fangs. Those are more like nightmares, even if she, acting as those women, always wins. 

Jackie shared one such nightmare with Michael once, when he was supposed to spend the night at hers. He huffed and accused her of trying to kill the mood, complete with his trademark “Damn, Jackie,” and she never shared her dreams with him again, monster-ridden or not.

She shuddered, snuggling deeper into her bed. It’s not the first time she’s seen that... hideous creature in her brain, but tonight, now, it doesn’t bring up the same fear. No, for some reason, tonight the vision makes her... anxious. Not in a running way either; in a fighting way. 

Anyway, it wasn’t the dreaming that woke her up this time. Nor was it her usual fear of sleeping alone in a big house, although it was in the back of her mind to check the locks again when she woke up in the morning. Her eyes moved across the room and, finding nothing amiss, she shook her head and relaxed again. I better not wake up again, she grumbled to herself as her eyelids drooped. I need my beauty sleep, damn it. 

She remained oblivious, as her sleep went on undisturbed, of the new power thrumming in her veins. 

The summer days were long and lonely when her friends were busy. Sure, Jackie could have hung out with other cheerleaders, but the girls on the team made her feel terrible, not just about herself but about everyone. She was her worst self when she tried to fit in with them, but damn it, she loved cheering. It was the one thing she did that brought her joy to her days, aside from spending time with (okay, bossing around) Michael. 

She frowned. Come to think of it, she hadn’t spent much time with Michael lately, even though she went to the basement almost every day. Half the time, he wasn’t even there! Still, she was able to get closer with the rest of the basement gang, so it wasn’t a total loss. Fez loved her, Eric and Steven tolerated her, and Donna... Donna was her best friend, and she was a much better friend than anyone on the cheer team, that was damn sure. Hell, even the Formans were wonderful to be around! They were great company, better than her high school social circle and her perpetually absent parents, but that didn’t mean she didn’t miss her man.

Well, then, it was decided. Jackie would be spending the day at the Formans. 

It was a normal day, just as bright and warm as the other summer days, but something was off. Come to think of it, something had been off since the night before when she’d woken up abruptly. She’d been feeling... powerful, she decided, but in the most subtle way possible. She felt an understated strength and damn it, try as she might, she just couldn’t explain it. It didn’t help that she nearly snapped her eyeliner pencil in two just by grabbing it, nor that she seemed to anticipate a car running a stop sign before it even approached the crossing.

You’re just overthinking it, she said to herself as walked over to the Forman residence, though she swore she never used to walk this fast before. Nothing’s wrong, nothing’s different, it’s all in your head.

She said it to herself enough that she believed it. And then she nearly tore the basement door right off its hinges. 

Oops.

Luckily, the only person in the basement was Steven, and he barely paid attention to her on a regular day. But what about today had been regular so far? She saw his eyes widen behind his glasses as she closed the basement door, ten times gentler now after the slam she opened it with. Jackie could practically see the gears turning in his head, and she braced herself for the insults and name-calling to begin. She could hear it already: Jackie Burkhart, cheerleader freak. 

Thankfully, what he actually said was nothing of the sort. “Look, whatever Kelso did, don’t take it out on the damn door, okay?” 

“The door’s just falling apart,” she said, trying to hide her relief, “it wasn’t my fault, and besides, nothing happened to it. It probably just blew open with the wind. Mr. Forman should really fix that door sometime soon.” 

Hyde opened his mouth to respond, but blessedly, he was interrupted by the presence of Michael Kelso himself. 

Perfect, a worthy target of her frustration. “Michael, where have you been lately? I feel like you’re not around a lot nowadays.” 

Michael stammered, looking between Steven and Donna and Eric, who had just come down the stairs from the kitchen. “I’ve been walking the dog. Yeah, yeah, that dog is crazy, Jackie, he needs to pee all the time.” 

“Michael,” she huffed, eyes narrowing, “you don’t have a dog.” 

Lies. He’s lying to you. 

“Yeah, Jackie, I don’t, but, but I gotta walk it anyway because... because I got a job! Yeah, my dad won’t give me any more money for our dates and stuff, so I’m walking dogs now. Yup.”

And really, Jackie shouldn’t have let it slide that she was suspicious, but the implication that he was doing it for her was just too sweet. He was doing what her dad did, trying to provide for her, even if he disappeared from her life in the process. She couldn’t fault him for that, could she? Besides, she’d look like a total bitch if she confronted him after that.

Sure, she’d appreciate some attention sometimes, too, but... wait, was that something she wanted from Michael, or her dad?

“Well,” she sighed, smiling as she plopped onto his lap, “how about we use that date money now?” 

The others in the room were watching with amusement, and their snickering as Michael stammered through some question or another did not go unnoticed by Jackie. They’re just laughing because Michael’s an idiot. That’s all. They’re not laughing at you.

This belief was cemented by the fact that Donna threw a newspaper at him, trying to hide her laughter. “Go ahead, Kelso, plan a date for Jackie.” 

He still looked lost, so Jackie threw him a bone. “Michael, I want to go to the movies today.” 

Eyes brightening, he looked for the movie timings in the paper. 

Throughout the ensuing discussion about Smokey and the Bandit and girl movies, Jackie couldn’t fully move away from the fact that Michael was definitely lying to her. He didn’t have the scent of dog anywhere on him, unlike Mr. Wilkerson when she walked by his yard on the way here. The Wilkerson dog was sickly and not too active, but Jackie could still smell it clear as day on Mr. Wilkerson, and the closest she’d gotten to him was walking past him as he sat on his porch. So there had been no dog-walking or Jackie would’ve smelled it, like how she could smell Donna’s dollar store shampoo and the detergent Mrs. Forman used on Eric’s clothes. 

When had she gotten so good at picking out scents? 

The movie was a great distraction, totally uncomplicated. The Goodbye Girl was great aside from its direct parallels to Jackie’s life, but she could overlook that for Richard Dreyfuss’s insane Richard III performance. She was still giggling at the absurdity of it when Fez reached over and kissed her, with tongue.

Well, so much for uncomplicated.

It didn’t help that Michael punched Fez in the face, which meant they were all sent home. The kiss was great, maybe the best Jackie had ever had, but even that couldn’t distract from the pure fury in Jackie’s heart when she realized what exactly had happened, once she finally had the chance to reflect on it in private. 

Who gave him the right to touch me? 

She suddenly longed to rip Fez limb from limb, to tear his tongue out with her bare hands. A part of her suspected that she actually could do so, too, if she chose. She had that power now. 

That power. 

Where had it come from? Why did it manifest in her? Of course Jackie Burkhart was special, she’d be the first to tell you that, but she didn’t want to be a freak. Her mismatched eyes already made her one; because of them, she’d endured taunts of “freak” and “mutant” for the bulk of her childhood, half of them coming from her own mother. Jackie hated her eyes, and she was quickly growing to hate her newfound abilities in a similar fashion. They didn’t make her special, they made her a freak. And she refused to let anyone call her a freak any longer. 

Not only that, but powers like these were dangerous. Jackie may not have been a comic book dweeb like Eric or a conspiracy nut like Steven but even she knew that people with abilities like hers were at risk of being locked up and experimented on. 

Jackie didn’t want to be locked up! How would she be head cheerleader by her senior year if she was stuck in a secret government facility, being dissected? 

No, she couldn’t let that happen. So Jackie did what any intelligent, rational teenage girl would do: she scribbled about it in her super-secret diary (as opposed to the regular diary she knew her parents and Michael tried to snoop in) and resolved to hide her powers from the public forever, or for however long they lasted. No superhero business for her, no sirree! 

Besides, this was Point Place. Even if she wanted to use her powers for good, when would she get an opportunity to do that around here?

--

Across town, a couple stumbled into an alley next to a bar. The blond man pushed the woman into the brick wall of the bar, relishing in the delighted groan that ripped from her throat. 

“Randy,” she mewled, half-laughing, “yeah, baby, just like that, just—”

The next thing to rip from her throat was her blood, and he happily guzzled it, letting her collapse against the wall once she was drained. 

Randy gazed down at her, sated. It would’ve been smarter to turn her, but he was hungry, and who wanted to change the world on an empty stomach? No matter, he’d turn the next one, maybe one of the other barflies in the pub he’d just walked out of. This town seemed better than any to enact his plan, after all. Yeah, he grinned to himself, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, Point Place’ll be just fine.

[zeon-twilight]

Rest in Peace Nicky

Our cat Nicky passed away today (11/7/2024). My heart is shattered. Between the results of the election and this, I feel so incredibly full of pain and sadness that I feel like I've a new understanding how much one can hurt. I feel lost. I managed through the day, we did everything we could to try and help him when we noticed he wasn't breathing right, we rushed him to a vet and found out he was in pain and the prognosis for helping him with heart failure and a blood clot which paralyzed him was very slim, and at best his quality of life would be severely impacted. So we had him put to sleep. We didn't want him to suffer for a slim margin chance of survival which came with the guarantee that it would happen again even if he made it this time.. So there was a lot of crying today. We took him to say goodbye to the other cats, then took him to my parent's house to lay him to rest near where I buried another beloved cat from my youth. If there's a plane where the spirits of lost pets can play, I hope they can meet there. I've got a lot of thoughts about death rolling around in my head, I've always been a follower of the concept of Memento Mori, and nothing draws one's awareness to that which matters more sharply than a death in the family. There will be time and posts to talk about that. This post I want to be about him. Nicky was the single most loving cat I've ever known. There were no strangers in his world, only friends which he'd not yet. One of his favorite places to be was by the front door, so that he could greet any new friend who came through. His love was fierce but gentle, insistent, but yielding, happy to nuzzle his head against yours. He had a little spot on his flank you could scratch which activated licking mode, and his long fur was soft and warm and wonderful. He moved with a jauntyness and energy which was sure to make you smile, and besides his mission in life to spread love to all he met, his second deepest pleasure was play, he loved to run on his cat wheel, he loved to go after cat toys, and he loved his boyfriend Willard with a gay intensity that sometimes made me blush. He was confident in his place in the world in a way few beings are, and I feel like I learned a lot from him in the unfairly short, but very wonderful time I got to share with him. While he earned the middle name "Underfoot" for being a trip hazard at times, and he sometimes felt the urge to see gravity in action, or occasionally dig at the side of his litter box for an exceptionally long time ineffectually shifting litter to fit criteria only he knew... these small crimes all seemed to be in good fun, and I will deeply miss every part of living with him. I take some solace that I feel he was well cared for, and very loved. There's more I could say about him, and perhaps sometimes I will, since this seems to be the place I do that sort of reflection. But right now I should probably get some sleep, so I can get up tomorrow and hopefully have a less emotionally devastating day. Nicky would encourage me to cuddle rather than blather on all night too I'm sure. Gonna miss you Nickyknack. Thank you for teaching me so much about unconditional love, I'm blessed to have known you. We know this world needs love and I'll try and carry some of your share now that you're gone. Hold the things you love close for you never know for how long you will be able to have them reader. Tell the people you care about you love them. Hold your pets extra long tonight. We don't get to decide when it ends, so treasure each and every moment like it could end tomorrow. Because you never know when it might be just so. Have you shown your loved ones you care today, who/what/when/where-ever you are? ZT Edit: Would be rude to go on about a cat for several paragraphs and now show a picture of him now wouldn't it?

[tooearlyforthis]

The Social Hour

Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader

Synopsis: (4.5k wc) Steve always hated his parents holiday parties. Long events dragged on with boring people. But this time, someone catches his eye.

Warnings: fluff, that's basically it lol

masterlist || steve harrington taglist

Not gonna lie I did forget this in my drafts last night. Anyways here it is!

If one more person asked Steve if he was going to college, he would strangle them. 

Yes he’d made peace with not getting into any schools. And yes he felt somewhat content with the life he built for himself. But that didn’t stop the ache in his heart of what might have been. 

Dwelling on the past, however, wouldn’t do him any good. So instead, he focused on the present. He clutched his glass tight against his chest and nodded along to the man in front of him. The room was packed, as it was every time his parents hosted a holiday party. People gathered from all over Loch Nora, including some from the city, who he assumed were his fathers work friends. 

Why he had to go to these parties, he didn’t know. He had begged and pleaded throughout his high school years to be dismissed. To go to a friend's house or hide in his room until the festivities were over. But every attempt ended in complete and utter failure. 

So instead of going to see a movie with Robin or the kids, he bit the side of his mouth as the fifth person tonight asked:

“So what are your plans for college next year?”

That was it, he wanted to reach forward, to wrap his hands around the man’s neck and yell, “My future doesn’t concern you! Mind your own business!”

But he knew that was wrong. Even in a world where alternate dimensions existed, a world where DnD-like characters hunted them down, strangling this man would be considered improper. He took a sharp inhale and forced a smile, ready to recite the same sentence he had practiced in the mirror earlier. 

“I’m actually working full time. I find real life experience more valuable than what I could learn in a classroom.” 

The man’s brow raised before quickly relaxing in an attempt to look intrigued. It was clear he didn’t agree but didn’t want to upset the son of the hosts. The man nodded, taking a sip of his drink. “Well that’s, progressive…”

Steve tried not to scoff. Progressive. He couldn’t take these people any more. The language they used, the way they looked down on almost everyone. He did not see why his parents enjoyed the company of such dull minded people. Then again, he guessed his parents were just as boring as their companions. 

“If you’ll excuse me, I have to go check on something,” Steve excused himself. 

Before the man could protest, he was moving away through the crowd of people and up the stairs. Just a moment in his room, that was what he needed. His parents wouldn’t even notice he was gone. Hell, he could probably stay upstairs all night if he wanted to. 

Steve let his back hit the wood of the door, it softly closing behind him. His head thudded against the back as the sounds of the party slowly drifted away to a distant muffle. For a moment, he felt peace. Tomorrow his parents would leave for their real holiday break. Some cruise he couldn’t care to remember. He’d finally be back to hanging out with Robin and the kids, and pretended like everything was okay. 

But not all of the noises faded away.

“Umm, hi?”

Without thinking, Steve’s eyes shot open, his hand reaching for the nail-poked bat leaning against his dresser. He could never be too careful since his last encounter with the supernatural. It was better to keep the weapon in his room than face a demogorgon alone and vulnerable. 

It wasn’t until he was armed in a defensive stance did he realize that there was no threat. In fact a very pretty stranger was sitting at the edge of his bed. Her hands were in front of her face, using the book she was holding to block from the suspecting blow. 

“Holy shit, you scared me,” Steve said exasperated. He let the bat fall to his side as he slumped down against the floor. The rush of unneeded adrenaline made him feel light headed. His tie wrinkled as it folded into his chest. 

“Sorry,” the stranger said, lowering the book and fixing her hair. “I didn’t think anyone would come in here. If I knew you had a bat-”

“No it’s alright, just… muscle memory,” he told her, still out of breath. He looked up at the book she was holding. It was one of his, plucked from his shelf next to his desk. “You came in here to read?”

She looked down at the book. “Not initially, no, but it looked interesting.”

“You can keep it. I only have it because it was required reading in school.”

The stranger’s eyes widened, her mouth forming an “o” with shock. 

“This is your room,” she said, the realization of her intrusion settling in. Steve only nodded, picking himself off the ground. The stranger stood up too, placing the book back on the shelf. “I’m so sorry I just wandered in here-“

“It’s fine,” he said, waving a hand in dismissal. He truly didn’t care that she had stumbled into his room. The night was so exhausting all he wanted to do was sit. The bed creased at his weight as he did so. 

The stranger remained standing, shifting her balance between each foot as she crossed her arms over her chest. Her gaze darted between him and the door, like she was pondering running away from the encounter entirely. 

“I uh, didn’t know anyone else my age would be here,” he told her, unsure of what else to say. “Usually it’s just me and all the couples.”

“Yeah, I guess our dad’s work together,” She said, though it came out more like a question. “We just moved to town, so I don’t really know anyone here.”

“To Hawkins?” He asked, making sure he heard her right. She nodded. 

“This town was just so great we had to move here,” she said, looking down at her feet. It was clearly a sore spot for her and he didn’t want to press any further. 

“Yeah usually I hear about more people moving away every year… it’s not all bad though.” She rolled her eyes. “No really it’s not!”

“Okay how? Ever since I got here it’s been nothing but stuck up middle aged people complaining that their pools aren’t clean.”

Steve chuckled. “Okay I’ll admit there are a lot of people like that. But just inside Loch Nora. This is kind of the more well off community ya know?”

“So,” the girl began, sitting down in the bed next to him. “There are other parts of this town not full of old rich people?”

“Well I can’t promise that,” he paused, watching her giggle. “Though I can say there will be much less of them. Just stay away from the community pool.”

The girl raised an eyebrow, “And how do you know that isn’t where I wanna be? I could be a gold digger for all you know.”

“Oh well in that case you’re in the perfect place!” She giggled again and Steve couldn’t help the smile forming on his face. Hearing her make that sound? He never wanted it to stop. “I could show you, ya know? Around town?”

“Really?”

“Of course,” he replied a little too quickly. She was so damn pretty it was like every thought had left his head. 

After his break up with Nancy, and Robin came out to him, Steve had done some serious rethinking in his life. Gone were the days of fooling around with the first girl he saw. Instead he decided to focus on more serious pursuits. People he could see being “the one.”

But with this girl, it was like he wanted to throw every single one of his rules out the window. He wanted to let himself get infatuated by her. Let her consume his only waking thoughts for however long this holiday party was supposed to last. He hoped she would let him.

The girl extended her hand. “I’m Y/n.”

Steve placed his hand in hers, giving it a firm shake. “Steve.”

“Nice to meet you, Steve. Now, how are we gonna make this party more interesting?”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Trust me, they won’t even know it’s gone.”

Y/n felt like a kid again. It had been a long time since a boy made her feel giddy inside. Someone she felt comfortable being around, not having to question any ulterior motives. 

The boy grasped her hand tightly, pulling her through the large groups of people in the living room of his house. She giggled as he did so, watching as he turned back every now and then to make sure he hadn't lost her. 

As they crossed the threshold into the kitchen, his hand slipped out of hers - she was surprised to find she missed his embrace. There hadn’t been many opportunities to socialize with people her age since moving to Hawkins so part of her was relieved when he barged into the room just minutes before. Yes, he had almost attacked her with a nail-covered bat, but he didn’t so that’s all that mattered. 

She watched as Steve stepped around a group of businessmen talking by the open bar, taking a towel and draping it over his forearm like a server. He gestured for her to step forward. She did so, walking up to rest her arms on the counter. The businessman next to them didn’t pay any attention, despite seeing the two underage kids about to serve themselves drinks. 

“What’s your poison?” Steve asked, putting on his most polite tone. 

She smiled coyly, feeling her cheeks warm up. “Is it boring if I say beer?”

“Oh, this overpriced wine is too good for you?” She laughed again. “I mean, how dare you have a different taste than these snobs.”

“I like my beer, what can I say?”

Leaning down below the bar, Steve grabbed two bottles from the mini-fridge and an opener.  “Well good thing I like it too.”

Handing the open drink to her, she relished the small moment their fingers touched, the way they twitched slightly on contact. She looked back up at him. Into the chocolate brown eyes that made her want to lean forward and kiss him. 

She never thought she’d feel that way after meeting someone for such a brief amount of time. But Steve radiated this kind and welcoming energy that was so unlike other people she had been attracted to in the past. 

Pushing the thought from her mind, she cleared her throat. “Where to now?”

Over the course of his life in the big Harrington house, Steve found his fair share of secret places. They were not secret passageways, much to his dismay as a child, but nooks and crannies he could escape to for hours at a time. With the house full of people, most of those places were blocked and unusable. But there was one, he knew would go unseen.

“Are you being serious?” Y/n asked him, her hand gripping the window sill. 

Steve balanced himself on the tiles of the roof, extending an arm back toward the open window of his bedroom. “I used to do this all the time,” he told her. “Do you trust me?”

Y/n let out a weak laugh, looking down. It was a weird question to ask someone you just met but in Steve’s mind, he could already trust her with his life. Thankfully, she felt the same way.

“For some reason, I do,” she said. 

Leaning forward, he made sure to grasp her hand, having no plans of letting go anytime soon. She climbed through the window, bumping into him slightly as her feet hit the uneven tiles. Instinctively, he wrapped his other arm around her back to steady her. The fuzzy texture of her sweater itched on his fingers, but he’d rather feel uncomfortable than let her fall off the roof.

Balancing on her own, he released his hand, now somewhat missing the feeling of her sweater. He looked up at her, giving a nod to ask if she was okay. When she nodded back, he slowly began to move forward. They carefully maneuvered around the brick roof, sitting down on the edge of another window sill. 

Y/n’s shoulders brushed against his as they sat down and Steve felt like a giddy teenager again. He had never taken a girl up here, but this felt like the type of sight she would wanna see. 

“This is the attic window,” he told her, “It doesn’t open from the inside.”

“Duly noted,” she replied, interlancing her fingers atop her lap. “So, what’s so special about this spot?”

Steve let out a long breath, a much needed one after sucking up to his dad’s business partners all night. This was a spot that he never came to with anyone else. Partly because it was on the roof and partly because he liked keeping it hidden. It was a place he could go to to unwind, to ignore all the problems he had with his homelife. 

Instead of baring his soul to this new girl, despite a part of him desperately wanting to, he went with a more simple explanation. “It has a good view of the neighborhood. When it starts to get dark, you can see the sun set over the houses.”

Y/n looked out in front of them. The sun had set a long time ago, but the sight was still beautiful. She told him so. “The stars are nice. You couldn’t see them in my old town.”

“No?”

She shook her head before turning to look at him. “Thank you for bringing me up here. This is just what I needed after the nightmare of moving here this week.” 

He didn’t know how to respond, afraid that somehow he would fuck everything up. As he tried to think of something interesting to say, she leaned her body toward him. He felt her head rested on his shoulder and found himself infatuated with her smell.

It was a mix of different citrus scents he couldn’t quite place. No matter, it started to consume him anyway.  She was sinking under his skin and he had no intention of letting it go. 

“O-of course,” he finally said, clearing his throat. “Glad to be of service.”

Y/n picked up her head from his shoulder, their faces barely inches away from each other. Steve thought she might kiss him from how she kept darting her eyes between his and his lips. He had barely known this girl for two hours. But he knew deep down that if she leaned in to kiss him, he would let her.

He let out a breath as she backed up slightly. A move that clarified there would be no making out to end the night. He wasn’t mad or upset, part of him actually was thankful. He didn’t wanna fuck up this relationship. Didn’t want his old self to seep into his new life with a person who didn’t know his past. 

“You and I are going to be great friends, Steve,” she said, her voice softly floating between them. “I just know it.”

The thought of kissing Y/n still hadn’t left Steve’s mind. She had left with her parents and being the stupid, stupid boy he was, he didn’t ask for her information. He had looked for her everywhere he went. At work, at the grocery store; sometimes he would even aimlessly drive around Loch Nora hoping to catch her outside her home. 

But a month later, he still hadn’t found her. Steve was starting to think that he made her up. That she was a beautiful figment of his imagination he conjured to pass the time at another boring holiday party. He wouldn’t put it past himself. After the battle with Vecna, he found himself daydreaming more and more, wanting to escape from the hellish reality he was placed in.

He had been daydreaming so much that Robin began to scold him. “Dingus, would at least try to act busy?”

Her words pulled him out of his thoughts of the mysterious Y/n. Back to the present, back to shelving tapes at Family Video. “Sorry,” he mumbled to his companion, not feeling like picking a fight with her.

Leaning on the shelf next to him, Robin could tell something was off. “You okay dingus? You were really gone there for a second.”

“I said sorry,” he told her, placing down another tape. “I was just…lost in thought.”

“Oh don’t tell me you were thinking of your mysterious party girl again. Steve glared at her, not engaging in her games. “Gosh you’re like a modern prince charming!”

“Am not!” he protested. 

“Really?” she said sarcastically, folding her arms across her chest. “Cause from here it looks like you're searching for your princess, except this time she didn’t leave a glass slipper.”

Steve sighed, moving to the shelf across from them, picking up another set of tapes for that genre. “Is it wrong to want to find her? I promised her I’d show her around, ya know? Be a friendly face in town.”

Robin moved over with him, leaning against another shelf. “You can’t go searching around Loch Nora again tonight.”

“And why not?”

“Argh you don’t remember anything! We’re going to Eddie’s gig tonight? At the Hideout?” Shit, he did forget. It was hard to keep track of anything with all the activities the kids had. “You better not back out, you're my ride!”

“I'm not gonna back out!” he protested, knowing full well he would’ve canceled if she didn’t say something. He loved Eddie but metal music was not his thing. The head pounding, the sharp drum beats - it made his head hurt.

Ring!

The front door sounded out, making Steve and Robin poke their heads out from the isle they were in. Thankfully it was just Dustin, a lollipop in his mouth from winning a game at the arcade next door.

“Can one of you take me home?” he asked.

Steve groaned. When he said “can one of you,” it really meant him. Robin, being a year out of high school, had yet to get her driver’s license. 

Sighing, he said, “Sure, my shift ends in five.”

The Hideout was more crowded than Steve remembered. People were bumping his shoulders on either side, the ground somewhat sticky from spilled drinks. The walls were covered in band posters, some of them local, most of which Steve had never heard of. Robin was plastered to his side, talking to Nancy and Jonathan who had just arrived. 

“Do you think they’re gonna play LaunchPad McQuack?” Jonathan asks, somewhat shouting over the music.

“I have no idea,” Robin yelled back. “I think they’re playing new stuff.”

They saw Jonathan nod, trying to hide his disappointment. He was always Eddie’s big supporter when it came to music. Being the only one of them who could actually studied music in his off time. 

“As long as -” Steve began to speak, being cut off by the uproar of the crowd. He looked over to see Corroded Coffin walking across the stage, Eddie walking up to take the mic.

He was already nursing a drink, placing it on a conveniently placed stool as the other members began tinkering with their instruments. Taking the mic in his hands he shouted, “How’s everyone doing tonight?”

The crowd roared as he scanned it, his eyes quickly falling on all of his friends. Eddie winked at them with a smirk. In unison, the four friends picked up their hands to flip him off. To outsiders it seemed like an awful thing to do, but for them, it was a fun gesture to let the others know that they’re there, they’re present, and they’re supporting one another. 

Eddie chuckled as he saw the gesture, the crowd dying down enough that he could speak again. “Now I know you’re excited to hear our new stuff, but unfortunately our bassist Jeff is sick.” The crowd booed, Steve and Robin among them. “Fear not! For we have a newcomer here to join us! Everyone, make some noise for the lovely, the wonderful, Y/n Y/L!”

The crowd began cheering as Y/n walked out, her bass already strapped around her. Steve, on the other hand, felt himself melt into shock. There she was, in all her beautiful glory. The girl he hadn’t stopped thinking about who was very much real and not his imagination. 

Y/n. Her name felt like butter on his tongue. The way she dressed left very little to his imagination - it was making him go insane.

She waved to the crowd, her eyes washing over them before they found him. She stuttered for a second and chuckled, her too not sure if he was really in front of her. But then, she smiled. She truly smiled. 

After going to so many of his parents’ holiday parties, he began to get pretty good at reading people. The amount of fake smiles that people had given him were enough to kick him down and stay there for good. But as he looked up at Y/n on that stage and saw that grin, he could tell that it was real.

“Steve?” His name pulled him out of his own thoughts. Robin had been talking to him. He hummed a yes. “Is that her?”

He had only told Robin her name one or twice over the course of the month and it was still hazy in memory.

“Y-yeah,” Steve managed to get out, just as the band began its first track. “Yeah it is.”

The band played most of their new stuff, people in the crowd jumping and jamming along to the songs. Most of it went over Steve’s head, everything around him becoming muffled as he watched Y/n in awe.

She was gorgeous, he knew that before. But watching her play the bass? It was so hot. The way her fingers plucked at the strings, her shoulders swaying back and forth to keep in time with the drums. Even down to the bead of sweat trickling down her forehead, she seemed perfect. 

The set was over before he registered it beginning. Applause ruptured from the crowd as the band made their way off stage. Steve felt a pang in his chest as he watched her disappear, like if he ever lost sight of her again she would be gone from his life for good. 

No. Not this time. He found her and he had no intention of letting her go.

The band had to have a meeting with their newly appointed manager so instead of meeting backstage, the four friends waited in the parking lot. Steve found it hard to stand still. He paced back and forth in front of Eddie’s van as he bit on his nails, anxiously waiting to see Y/n again.

Jonathan nudged Robin’s shoulder. “What’s got him so nervous?” he asked.

“That girl on bass?” Robin began, watching her two friends nod knowingly. “Apparently she moved to town a month ago. Steve met her at a party his parents were holding and like an idiot didn’t ask for her number.”

“You know I can hear you, Rob,” Steve told her, stopping his pacing in front of them.

“I wasn’t trying to hide it. You were stupid for not asking!”

He wanted to bicker with her, but in the end he knew she was right. It was stupid to let her leave that night without even knowing her address. 

Before he could even utter a word, Nancy said, “Oh look they’re coming!”

Steve turned around to see the band walking up to the van. Eddie was in front, his arms stretched out on either side of him as he dangled his guitar case. “Was that so metal or what?!”

Jonathan was the first to step forward. “Super metal man, congrats on the EP.”

Robin and Nancy began to congratulate him as well but Steve’s eyes were drawn on Y/n, her arm wrapped around Gareth’s shoulders. It dropped when she looked up at him. 

Gareth kept walking like nothing happened, everyone moving around each other in congratulations but Steve and Y/n stood still. His eyes were stuck on her, stuck in her beautiful eyes he never thought he’d see again. And then, she smiled. Gosh, he loved that smile.

Eddie was the first from the group to notice their staring. “You two look like deer caught in headlights,” he said with a chuckle. “You two know each other or something?”

Steve was still unable to get a word out, thankful Y/n spoke for them. “Yes we do,” she told Eddie, finally breaking her gaze to look at him. “In fact, we have plans tonight. Don’t we, Steve?”

They both knew that wasn’t true. But if she wanted to get away, he would follow her at the drop of a hat. 

“Uh y-yes. Yes we do,” he stuttered out. 

Nancy tilted her head in confusion. “Wait, I thought we were all heading to the diner?”

Steve could barely process he was being pulled away as Y/n’s hand wrapped around his, gently guiding him toward her own car parked a couple spots away. 

“Uh maybe next time?”

Y/n was giggling into his side as she loaded her bass into the trunk of her car. “You were my ride, dingus!” Robin shouted back as he opened the side of her car door.

“John will take you, right?” Steve asked, a pleading look on his face. 

Jonathan, confused as what had just happened stuttered out, “Y-yeah, sure. I can take you home.”

Shouting a thanks, Steve felt Y/n pull him into the car, the door shutting hastily behind him. Turning on the car, she turned to look at him, her smile stretching across her face. “So, I think you promised me a tour of Hawkins.”

He couldn’t help but smile back. “I did, didn’t I?” Reaching forward, he interlaced his hand with hers. “Looks like you already found Eddie, that covers the dangerous side of town.”

Y/n laughed, her head dropping forward. “Yeah, no need to show me the crack house.”

“Well, we could go to Lover’s Lake.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Lover’s Lake? You think you’re gonna get lucky tonight, Steve?” 

Her tone was more playful than condescending and it made Steve feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Shrugging he said, “Maybe?”

Laughing again, she put the car in drive, her hand leaving his to prop against the wheel. They pulled to the edge of the Hideout’s parking lot. She turned to look at him one more time.

“Lucky for you, Harrington, I think you’re right.”

Steve Harrington Taglist: @afraidofshrimp @halflifejess @nix-rose @palmtreesx3 @cilliansnostalgia @sweetdazequeen

[elijahkelly]

2/12/2023

3:04am. I'm laying here trying to sleep but my brain won't shut off. Didn't take melatonin tonight so my body is probably struggling to put itself to sleep without help.

Had a moment where I did not feel safe. Small panic attack, I was feeling very distressed, like I was in danger. It was very reminiscent of the feeling I associated with laying in bed in one of mom's old apartments late at night, Scooby Doo playing on the tv, and all of a sudden the room got really bright as a truck pulled up and parked, it's headlights shining right through the window. I felt very unsafe then, and I felt that way tonight.

Going home tomorrow. Or today, I guess. Haven't been home since my sister, brother in law, niece, two nephews, and their dog moved out of my dad's house. I have to go fill out a thing so my dad can file my taxes, Dylan needs to get his new car tags from his parents, and I want to go see my sister's new house.

My mind has been coming back to how much things have changed a lot recently. Thinking about how I used to see my family almost every day, now I'm lucky if I see them more than once a month. I used to work cleaning the gym back at home, now I'm a part-time manager of a sub-division of my department, part-time drag queen who has almost completed their bachelors in Psychology. So many people I used to know are like strangers to me, and I've met so many amazing new people. Like Osvaldo.

Ozzy is very important in my life right now. He helps to distinguish the relationships the "old me" formed from the relationships the "new me" has formed. He's quickly become one of my best friends. We talk about everything, hang out a lot, and poke fun at each other all the time. He reminds me that I do bring something to the table that gives me value enough to keep around. He's my favorite person that I've met since I started college. He helps me retain my childhood through interests we share, while also helping me to grow up. We smoked weed together recently, and it was my first time smoking real weed before. I got to do it with him and it was a real bonding moment.

In case you haven't noticed, if anyone's reading this, I kinda just let my mind wander and say what it wants to.

I need to talk about the future, because I'm scared of it and I need to rationalize it. Starting with school. I have less than three semesters of college left, and I have hardly a clue what I want to do after that. I've played with the idea of grad school, getting my masters so I don't have to have a space between. If I can get all of my school business out of the way, that'd be ideal. But what about a job? I don't know what I want to do or how I'm going to do it, which is horrifying. And I'm running out of time. Dylan's going through a similar thought process at the moment.

It feels like Dylan and I are in a weird space right now. Our relationship feels "gray," and that's the best way I can describe it. I love him, I know that I do, but I think I'm getting bored. I love him to death, and I don't want to lose him, but I feel constrained. I never had a real dating phase of my life. Yeah, relationships would come and go, but before Dylan I had never been in a relationship for more than a month. Now we've just passed two years and I'm so happy for that. But, in all honesty, a small part of me feels kinda robbed of the experience of dating in college, figuring things out, adventuring. He's my only sexual partner I've ever had, so I don't know if the sex we're having is good or if there's something I'm missing. I pined for him the first four years I knew him, so it's essentially like we've been dating for six years. And maybe it's supposed to feel this way, but it feels like we've hit a slump. Nothing really interesting is going on. Idk, I'm not sure if I'm experiencing a normal part of relationships or what, but I know for certain that I don't want Dylan to go anywhere.

I feel an intense feeling inside that something tragic is going to happen to me. I have had this feeling for a long time. Part of me believes I'm going to get cancer. Another part of me sees a potential future where I die relatively soon, like in the next few years. Yes, I know that's possible for everyone, but something in my head says that it'll definitely happen to me. I've thought about it so much that I now feel a combination of fear and calmness about it. Not like I've accepted my fate, but it has motivated me to live my life purposefully and not get too wrapped up in silly things that don't matter. I've made it a goal to have fun, enjoy my time on earth while I have it, and live one day at a time. But there's still that feeling...

I don't know why but I feel overdue for tragedy. Every couple months or so, something devastating happens to throw a wrench in the works. Back in November, we had to put down my childhood dog, Jet. We had him since I was five (15 years) and it was like losing my best friend. But that was four months ago, so it feels like something new and awful could happen at any moment. Not that I want it to, of course, but if we're following the trend of my life, something new should've happened by now to ruin my life.

Anyways, I feel like I've talked my brain down to potentially get some sleep. I hope so, because I have a lot of driving ahead of me tomorrow.

Thank you for reading this, whoever you are. If you're me from the future, I hope you're well. I hope the bad things I expect to happen have the grace to hold off, for your sake (and mine). If you aren't me, I wonder how you found this. I don't plan to disclose the existence of these posts to anyone until the absolute last possible moment so there's something to look back on and peek into my conscience throughout my life. So if you aren't me and you're reading this, did something happen to me? And if you're someone who knows/knew and loves/loved me, thank you. The people who I value most in my life are the source of my vitality and drive. If I was alone, I probably would've ended it a long long time ago. But hopefully I leave a good impact on the people in my life for the rest of the time I have. I'm getting caught up in my head again.

I'm tired as fuck, I hope it isn't hard to fall asleep. Goodnight.