#never have i ever 🌽

[garfieldsladybird]

The spicy scenes in ‘never have I ever’ always cringe me out…

[baby-yongbok]

And they were roommates

Boyfriend!Han Jisung x Afab!Reader x Roommate!Lee Minho

♡ Genre - Smut - 🌽 no plot ♡ Word Count - 1.4k ♡ Summary - You've never been interested in your boyfriends roommate but this unique situation brings forth delicious results that could change that. ♡ Warnings - Use of sex toys ♡ a/n - this is my first minsung x reader fic ever. Why am I so nervous about it?? I hope you enjoy! ✧ Masterlist ✧

“Oh fuck, Jisung, please” You keened as he continued languidly thrusting the glass dildo into your sopping cunt. Your heavy exhales and moans hung in the air and fueled his desire to drag you closer to the edge.

“Gotta be quiet, jagiya.” He peeked back, checking that the door to his dorm was still shut. “My roommate will be back any second. What are we gonna tell him?”

“That you're being mean and won't let me cum.” He pushes the toy to the hilt, reaching spots that he’s been purposely neglecting. You hold your breath in an attempt to stop a scream. You failed. 

“I'm being mean? Wasn't it you who asked me to fuck you while he's gone?” You whine, shaking your head and batting your eyelashes up at the man who’s sitting behind you while he has you spread open between his legs on his twin size mattress. 

With the way that their dorm is set up you're hidden from the entrance but the moment that his mate walks further in he'll get a full view of your cunt. The thought alone makes you clench around the purple glass. 

“I wanted your cock, Ji.” He tsks, offering you a cocky lopsided smile. 

“Gotta be more specific next time.” He plants a chaste kiss on your temple while one of his fingers finds your clit and rubs slowly. “Imagine that it's my cock, baby. Close your eyes.”

You follow his orders with a sigh, allowing your eyelids to flutter shut and resting your head against his chest. You grind your hips Into each thrust, accepting that this is how you'll be cumming tonight whether you like it or not.

“There she goes, fuck yourself, baby.” His Boba eyes stare down at how the toy disappears inside of you. 

The way that it spreads the glistening lips of your cunt and squelches with each wet thrust into you. Maybe he should've given you his cock. He much rather be balls deep inside of you instead of having his leaky dick strain against his sweats but you're so pretty like this. He'll definitely fuck his fist to the image of this later. 

“Gonna cum on my dick, baby?” 

“Jisung, please fuck me, please.” Your pleads are falling on deaf ears and you know it. “Baby, please.”

The jiggling of the doorknob Cuts your boyfriend off before he can answer. Your breath catches in your throat and you expect For Jisung to react the same way. You expect him to freeze. You expect him to stop. He doesn't. 

“Would you believe that there was nothing left in the cafeteria?” Minho muses as he slams the door behind him. “That shit was bone dry. I'm going into town, you wanna -”

His words die on his tongue when he walks in further, catching Jisung's gaze for a nanosecond before his eyes catch on your cunt. “Well, hello.” 

Jisung chuckles behind you, slowing the thrusts of the dildo for just a second. “Welcome back, someone got needy. Isn't that right, baby?” 

You hide your face in Jisung's chest and try to close your legs but your boyfriend holds them open. He pushes the glass deep into your core. Filling you to the hilt and pressing up against your g-spot. A pornographic moan rips through you and you glare up at your boyfriend. 

“Don't be shy. I've heard him fuck his girlfriend so many times.” It's Minho's turn to chuckle now. 

“Mm, yeah, no need to be shy.” You hear footsteps and expect for Minho to walk over to his bed or even out of the room but he gets closer instead. Eyeing your cunt and licking his lips before his prying gaze meets yours. 

“I'm not even looking.” You scoff at his teasing. 

“Ignore him, baby.” Jisung nudges your head to the side with his chin, wedging himself into the crook of your neck to plant Sloppy kisses on the flushed skin. “You're gonna cum on my dick remember?” 

His thrusts pick up and he keeps it angled up just the way you like. You avoid Minho's gaze even though you can feel it burning into you. You want to tell him to fuck off. You want to tell him to wait outside or to take a walk around campus or something but there's something deep down that wants him to stay. 

You can feel that desire creeping up your spine and it makes your pussy gush with arousal that stains Jisung’s sheets and makes the lewd squelches of your cunt vibrate through the air at an unspeakable volume. 

“Mmm-ngh, fine.” You close your eyes again, thinking about having Jisung drill into the way that the toy is. You think about Jisung's kisses, Jisung's cock, Minho's hands - what the fuck?

Your eyes snap open and find those of your viewer immediately. His bottom lip is between his teeth and his hands are pushed into his pockets. He switches his attention from your eyes to your cunt once, twice, three times before smiling down at you. 

“You're fucking squeezing my cock so hard, baby.” Jisung twists the dildo just a bit and you moan. “You like being watched, huh?”

You're agreeing before you can even process it. Shaking your head while keeping your eyes on Minho. “Naughty naughty little thing.” Minho tsks, chuckling a bit as he licks his lips. 

“How about this, baby.” Jisung halts all movement making you whine at the loss of stimulation. “Why don't we let Minho fuck you, hm?”

You moan. You fucking moaned at your boyfriend offering you his roommate. Luckily for you your lover found it amusing and so did the roommate in question. “Words, Jagiya.”

“That's.. fine.” Minho asks again, needing to hear a more stable declaration of consent. “It's fine. I promise just please fuck me.”

Minho takes the handle of the toy in his hand with a smile. He slides it out of you slowly until it slips out with a wet pop. “Messy cunt.” He mumbles as he teases your clit with the glass tip. 

“Tell Min that you wanna cum on his cock, baby.” You groan, clenching around nothing. The words fall from your mouth in a bashful whisper that doesn't do much to please the man who's now in control of your pleasure. 

“What was that?” Minho presses the toy to your clit and you cry out. “Speak up a bit, sweetie.” 

“I wanna come on your cock, please, Minho. Please.” The pressure of the toy slipping past your entrance draws a deep moan from you. Your eyes roll back as he starts fucking you with slow and full strokes that leave you grabbing onto Jisung's thigh. 

Your boyfriend stares down at you with fond eyes as he squeezes and pinches your breasts. His lips assault your neck, sucking bruises into the flesh that you'll have to cover before tomorrow's class but you can't find it in you to care. Not when you have two men working you towards a burning release. 

“You're creaming on my cock, messy girl.” Minho's words snap you out of your daze. You look down at the dildo splitting you open and groan. You're dripping, leaking like a faucet and you swear that you can see some of your essence glistening on Minho’s fingers. 

Jisung adds his fingers to the mix, he rubs perfect figure eights against your clit that has you yelping out and throwing your head back against him.

 “You gonna cum for us, baby? Gonna cum all over Minho's dick for me?”

You nod, babbling confirmations mindlessly as you stare up at your boyfriend. “ Yeah yeah yea - gon’ cum for you.” 

Minho presses up into your g-spot and your heavy panting is suddenly cut off by your orgasm ripping through you. You start to scream but your breath gets caught in your throat. Jisung pops his arousal slick fingers into your mouth to keep you quiet as you writhe in his arms. His other arm snakes around your waist and keeps you planted firm against him. 

Minho's free hand keeps your thighs open as he fucks you through your climax. Long and deep strokes have you feeling aftershocks for a solid minute before he finally pulls the toy out of you. 

You clamp your thighs shut, snuggling into Jisung's chest as you try your best to catch your breath. 

“Mmm.” You look up at Minho and you swear that you could cum again. He's got the dildo between his lips, sucking your cum off of the glass and swirling his tongue to savor the taste.

 “She's as sweet as she looks.” 

Thank you for reading! I hope that you enjoyed!

Likes, Reblogs and Comments make my day! Thank you for all support, it keeps me going!

ALSO, please follow my back-up acct. @minniee-verse 💕

Tag List: @teddy-stay , @baconcupcakes123, @moonchild9350 ,

@krayzieestay, @soulsbbg , @stay-bi , @yzsqu , @gho-ster , @lghtdarling (Reply to this post if you'd like to be added to the perm. taglist.)

[heartfullofleeches]

Ride or Die

Yan 🌽star + Stoner Reader

Summary: After a deal gone wrong, you text your roommate for help.

[Mentions of Weed]

-

Thursdays are pizza night.

It isn't much in the grander scheme of things, but to Brie it is the domesticity of the relationship blossoming between you. Not exactly just friends, yet still barely pushing the limits of the platonic bond you already shared before moving in. You've kissed him before, allowed him to sleep in your bed- Then again, the "kiss" was a conducting force for a mouthful of smoke you gave fair warning for him to prepare himself for; the night in your room being the outcome of him spitting up a lung moments later.

Brie didn't know what to do anymore.. Continue this little game of cat and mouse, praying somewhere deep down you feel the same way about him. Or move onto someone else, never able to give them the entirety of his heart because he knows a part of it will always belong to you.

"Why can't I cry anywhere else but the produce isle!" Brie bitterly whispers to himself as he swabs the corners of his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. Your sweater to be more precise. He'd rather not have a repeat of last week- That sweet lady was only trying to console him, but his face gets red as the tomatoes he used for his sauce crying over what may never be.

Whatever.

As far as Brie was aware, you didn't have a partner nor anyone you were really interested in, and you practically told each other everything. Maybe somewhere along the line, he could find happiness in this in-between stage in your relationship. Even if you weren't his partner, he still had you as a shoulder to cry on and the best roommate he could ask for.

"Get over yourself, Brie- You're going to make them the greasts pizza they've ever had, and if they haven't already fallen in love with you - they'll met someone who's a shitty cook and realize what they're missing!"

Isn't that the dream? These days, it feels like you're the only thought on his mind. He can hear your voice now.

"Brie? Brieeeee~ Pick up or I'll use your full government. Heh, you know I'm messing with you. But, seriously, pick up."

Oh. That's... your ringtone. The message was one of the first voicemails you left him when he purchased a new phone. He's missed plenty of calls from you hearing it out to completion.

"You rang, babe?"

That got a good chuckle out of you the first time. It was a total blunder on Brie's end, but you insisted he keep the nickname if he wanted to. There's no jovial air coming from your end of the line. Not even a snicker as your voice picks up over the silence.

"I need your help."

Never in your years long friendship had he heard you sound so serious before. There were glimpses - swiftly desected by your infections laughter or the change of topic, but never like this.

"I'm, I'm on my way." Brie switches his phone over to his left ear, propping it up with his shoulder. "What's wrong? Are you sick? Did you hurt yourself?"

"I think I killed a guy."

The line goes dead.

Brie gazes upwards at the tiled ceiling, phone slipping from his grasp as his thumb hoovers where the end call button once was. He regains his grip on the device as a text message comes in.

Its a picture of the body. Sprawled out with their arms and legs angled in different directions.

He can't catch his breath. Brie has always tried to drill it into your thick skull he'd do anything for you no matter what - and he meant it. Taking someone's life... It's unforgivable in most people's eyes. Especially the law's. If you got caught. If he lost you- What would that mean for him? The future you had together?

Racing through the aisles like a chicken without its head, Brie makes several stops on his way to the cash register. Cleaning, household goods, cutlery. He grabs items as soon as they're checked out and stuffs them into his backpack as he pays, evading his ritual of fishing through his wallet for the exact cash and change.

Brie isn't crazy enough to run red lights. He does, however, forget his seatbeat as he floors his car home; flying just beneath the legal speed limit for the area. He speeds up the tiny flight of stares leading to your apartment - bursting through the already unlocked front door.

"Babe! Baby, in here- I brought bleach, and trash bags, and- and.... These knives should be sharp enough to cut up their limbs- We can even move closer to my parents if we have to!"

Tripping over his own words and feet, Brie dumps the the contents of his backpack on the living room floor. It's then he notices how clean the floor actually is. No blood stains, no evidence of a fight. His eyes search the room, falling upon you in an unbothered state - seated on the couch next to a shivering man nervously sipping from a glass of water.

"Brie!" Standing, you make short work of the distance between you as you swarm Brie with a firm hug. "Missed you, pretty boy. You're back a little sooner than I expected not gonna lie."

Adrenaline depleting, Brie points over your shoulder at the stranger. "I thought he was..."

"He? Oh, right!- Brie, this is Nicky. Nicky, this is Brie. He came to buy some of my stash since his med card just expired and he doesn't like buying full price. Normally I would've done it elsewhere since I don't want to bring strangers into your space, but he's heading out of town once he leaves.... If he still can."

Nicky offers a timid wave to Brie, placing his cup down seconds before collapsing on the couch.

"Don't worry, he should be fine after a little nap."

Air flows freely through Brie's lungs as he clings onto you. You aren't a murderer. There isn't anything jeopardizing things between you- besides himself.

"You're such a jerk."

Pulling away from your embrace, Brie was torn between slapping or kissing you as you grin back at him. "What? Didn't actually think I killed the guy, did you?"

"Yes?! Because of your little prank I wasn't able to get everything I needed for dinner! I was ready to throw my entire life away for you! And it's all just a big joke to you!"

"Thanks, Brie."

Tension building behind his eyes, a soft kiss to his forehead keeps the tears at bay just a little longer.

"It's nice to have someone I can depend on for anything. That's rare to come by these days. If you're ever in the same situation, but for real- you know who to call."

Sniffling, Brie rests his head on your arm.

"You're damn right I do."

[boydepartment]

Hi hi can you write something along the lines of enha showing up to your job cuz they know you're stressed?? Or something? I hope that makes sense 🙂

“i’m sorry baby.” - enha reactions when you have a rough day at work

a/n: OF COURSE :3 i’m sorry this took a million years

warnings- none just fluff

MASTERLIST

🍊jungwon… he definitely notices that your text messages were getting kinda weird and off. you weren’t texting a lot either, so it kinda freaked him out a bit. which led him to make the impulse decision of showing up to your work with flowers. what he didn’t expect was to see your car on and you crying in the car. he accidentally scares the shit out of you but you let him in your car and you both talked it out.

“i’m sorry my love… work sounds really rough and i wish i could help more, i can show up more surprising you or take you out after…”

🥭heeseung… you called him ranting about some gross guy that showed up to your job trying to talk to you. it was someone who was about to be trained to work with you so it stressed you out really bad. as you’re on the phone with him you didn’t even hear the car sounds and the next thing you knew he was bringing you your favorite drink and walking up to your establishment. he sits outside with you on your lunch hour too.

“so which fuck was it? that guy? pshhhh he looks like a loser, let me know if you want me to rough him up.”

🌽jay… the SECOND he hears your voice whimpering into the phone he’s sprinting to your work. he’s probably breaking speed laws too. when you see him parked outside your job you walked over there real quick to tell him your lunch hour is about to start. when it does you walk out there and spend time with you. luckily he dropped you off too so if you’re having a rough day and he’s your ride, he will stay in the vicinity of your job until you get off work. because he wants to go somewhere after to cheer you up.

“i’m sorry darling, you didn’t deserve any of that… would it help if we got your favorite snack?”

🍒jake… he would at first set up a movie night for you both, so when he picks you up, with flowers and a teddy bear, he had a fail safe at home too. which he didn’t even necessarily need. jake already picked you up walking into your place of work to spoil you in front of your coworkers. you were his everything and everyone needed to know, especially your coworkers who had been giving you backhanded compliments all day. when you got home you both cuddled as he reassured you that you’re everything to him.

“darling you work hard everyday, and you deserve to be respected… please don’t listen to their backhanded compliments.”

🍯sunghoon… he would tell you to pretend to get sick in the bathroom to get you off early. and you listen to him, normally you would feel guilty however all day you were practically get harassed by this one coworker and even though your other colleagues were comforting you, they never stood up for you. so on your break you called your boyfriend and he sprung into action immediately. he tells you to get the rest of the day off, and brings an extra pair of clothes for you in his car. when he scoops you up he takes you out to get food and you guys would watch the skyline as the sunsets. he knew you needed to look at something and talk.

“baby i told you, you can quit. i will pay for everything you’d never have to worry ever…”

🍋sunoo… ooooooo boy if he found out you were having a rough day to the point where you were going to put in your two weeks immediately after this shift he shows up. sunoo is ruthless when he requests to see your boss and rips him a new one for disrespecting you AND your colleagues. he goes full on overprotective boyfriend and will take legal action if needed. let’s just say your boss was definitely more understanding of you and your colleagues. you had no idea sunoo did this, and he would never tell you either.

“baby i’m so glad work is getting better! i guess your boss just had a change of heart :)”

🍓riki… you had a part time job while you did school. it wasn’t anything serious but some days it did get stressful. you texted riki that you ended up crying in the bathroom because of the stress and riki rushed to the store. he picked up your favorite flowers, snacks, and he grabbed the gift he was going to give you for valentine’s day. which is fine because he’ll just buy you another gift for valentine’s. he shows up to your work and showers you with these gifts. everyone was a little jealous of you but that was riki’s point. to make you know you’re his favorite and they should be envious of your relationship.

“i picked these up for you, kiss on the cheek please!”

[etheralisi]

Rottmnt Fakeposting part 3

Find parts 1 and 2 here + 3.5 + 4 because this couldn’t all fit on one post

🍏holy-sewer-apples Follow

I met a little green alien dude once. Wonder if he’s doing okay

1,578 notes

🕜has-lou-jitsu-been-found-yet Follow

Day 3679 of me posting: no

🎃scared-of-crows-deactivated23902741 Follow

Get a hobby

��atomiclass9000 Follow

I will out your search history 

92 notes

☄️gravity-tumbles Follow

Every time I phone in sick, I think about that one kid who came into school bright green. Must’ve been ill as hell. I could never 

767 notes

🐝noneofyourbeezwax Follow

Sasquatch this kappacrawler that. There’s only one cryptid I care about and that’s my neighbour’s cat. That thing ain’t a cat. It’s bright yellow and it stares into my soul

🚫nonononope Follow

That’s normal cat behaviour

🐝noneofyourbeezwax Follow

DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE I SAID BRIGHT YELLOW

🐝noneofyourbeezwax Follow

No I don’t have any pictures. Stop asking. Damn not-cat keeps vanishing into thin air

🫂glompglomp Follow

Tf is a kappacrawler

🐺wendigo-watcher Follow

Local New York conspiracy. Scuttles around sewers, on roofs, steals your children (maybe)

🐝noneofyourbeezwax Follow

This ain’t about him

6,073 notes

🧚pixipartched Follow

I really really feel bad for asking, but I don’t have much of a choice. Aliens squished by home. Here’s a link to my go fund me here

48 notes

💀outoftouchoutoftime Follow

Last time I had this many people following me, it was an ambush

#I don’t know what I did but hi

56 notes

🏒 HOCKEYORDEATH Follow

EVERY WEBSITE I VISIT ASKS IF I ACCEPT COOKIES

🏒 HOCKEYORDEATH Follow

NO I DO NOT

🏒 HOCKEYORDEATH Follow

BEGONE. KEEP YOUR SUBPAR BAKED GOODS TO YOURSELF

🌽 sherlock_corn Follow

>:(

157 notes

🛸atomiclass9000 Follow

My driver’s license is a two year winning streak in Mario kart. Try arresting me now

⚔️ bluejitsu Follow

Oh???? So you lie to your followers???? I know I won first place last games night and you know it

🛸atomiclass9000 Follow

You cheated

🌽 sherlock_corn Follow

Says the guy who hacks games as a pastime. I still want a rematch

⚔️ bluejitsu Follow

You tell him corn

🌽 sherlock_corn Follow

Oh I know you’re not innocent either mr

203 notes

🚂imatrainwreck Follow

If only there was a way to grow instant luscious locks

🐙massages-at-a-price Follow

I can help with that

#hehe

72 notes

🛸atomiclass9000 Follow

Throwback to that one time my brother was mistaken as IT when trying to return someone’s keys

🥊 red_hotsoup Follow

I was just trying to help

#they fell down the drain #so I picked them up and pushed them back through the grate #I wasn’t trying to be scary #and should you really be posting this

341 notes

cyyyynamon said: I’m going cave diving tomorrow. Will I see you there?

💀outoftouchoutoftime Follow

But you didn’t invite me?

86 notes

⚔️ bluejitsu Follow

Don’t send me back to jail. I’m too pretty

🥊 red_hotsoup Follow

What have you done now

⚔️ bluejitsu Follow

I was too pretty ✨

🛸atomiclass9000 Follow

Be original, Blue

75 notes

💀outoftouchoutoftime Follow

First day of school. I’ve never seen this many people in one area before

🌽 sherlock_corn Follow

Oh the joys of public school. 

⚔️ bluejitsu Follow

*Wipes tear* they grow up so fast

💀outoftouchoutoftime Follow

So apparently normal people don’t chirp. I never want to hold a conversation ever again

60 notes

🕵️‍♀️sloopersleuth Follow

Yoooooo what if our mysterious superheroes in rainbow know the kappacrawler??? You think they’re buddies? Think they hang out and chill and talk about how their week has been? Think kappacrawler house sits from them sometimes? Think they share birthday cards?

7,421 notes

🎽tink-tank-toe Follow

Sometimes I wonder if time travellers really exist. Are we all just on some divergent timeline? How close a shave have we come to a world obsolete?

🛶canoodleoodle Follow

#posts that keep me up at night

5,329 notes

🎨asprinkleofrazzmatazz Follow

Remember to spread the positivity ✨☀️ Kindness can go a long way

🛸atomiclass9000 Follow

Where was this kindness when it came to the last pizza slice?

🎨asprinkleofrazzmatazz Follow

I was already at my daily kindness quota 

1,997 notes

🔎detective-cornstarch Follow

It has occurred to me not everyone on this website knows about the kappacrawler

🔎detective-cornstarch Follow

Your loss

466 notes

🦷sleeptooth Follow

#i am curious

8,003 notes

🫨shake-it-away Follow

Oh kappacrawler, take me away

🫨shake-it-away Follow

Oh kappacrawler, whisk me away into the night

🫨shake-it-away Follow

Oh kappacrawler kidnap me

809 notes

🍮fastest-flanalive Follow

Stop with these he/him pronouns for the kappacrawler. Did you ask them their preferred pronouns????? No. Kappacrawler could be a very fancy lady

🐈meown Follow

I’m very sorry kappacrawler. You can be a fancy lady if you want :(

🍯honeyhoneysugar Follow

Have we been misgendering kappacrawler with whole time? 

😐restingsnitchface Follow

It’s a cryptid. You think it’ll care about gender?

7,335 notes

🐸frippityfroppity Follow

If I was a kappacrawler where would I hide

🍾snopop Follow

In your walls

2,756 notes

🫣flinx-blinx Follow

I thought there was only one kappacrawler. But I swear I just saw two. Is there a mr and mrs kappa??? Baby kappletts??? A whole kappa family 🥹🥹

😈my-dad-is-satan Follow

Maybe? I think there’s at least three

4,102 notes

🐒nightmonkey Follow

Who is this kappa??? Why is he crawling???

🐒nightmonkey Follow

Spider-man wannabe

2,811 notes

🦜petite-parakeet Follow

Still convinced that whole invasion thing was a hoax. Elaborate, but a hoax

765 notes

🪄meet-my-nunchucks Follow

Were those aliens sent packing? I’m confused

🪄meet-my-nunchucks Follow

Are they at home? On some faraway planet? Kicking their tentacles up after a long day at work invading our planet?

3,230 notes

💗love-duv Follow

5,008 notes

📖myfixoffic Follow

Guys come read my slenderman x kappacrawler fic here for all of your slenderkappa needs

🌑faded-moonlight Follow

Why would you write this?

📖myfixoffic Follow

Why not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

278 notes

⚔️ bluejitsu Follow

I heard that kappacrawler has an 8-pack. That the kappacrawler is shredded

🛸atomiclass9000 Follow

Be original, Blue (tally: II)

312 notes

👻ghost-chase Follow

Why can’t I live in New York. I want to fight aliens too

👻ghost-chase Follow

1,864 notes

[itwdoris]

(Any character u want) as a 🌽star streamer showcasing their s/o’s water skills 😲🫣🤯😫😖

uzui tengen x afab reader.

tw; adult streaming, pussy fingering, piss.

★

"so we're good?" tengen asked, turning away from the camera again and looking at it with a grin. a large, thick bulk on his boxer shorts that was a little tight on his thighs.

in fact, his body was as well exposed as ever, his legs were indeed a perdition, but they didn't always appear so much, unlike his defined chest, his strong arms with muscles flexing all the time, that was sin.

now with his hands on his defined waist as he reads the chat from his broadcast incessantly talking. "oh calm down guys, we drank a lot of water today, and if needed, we still have plenty of bottles left!" he looked at you, smiling as he came closer, close enough for the trail of white hair to be at your face level. "don't we?"

you nodded, feeling his hand quickly run through your hair while he patted your thighs to get you to open them, pussy completely exposed to the camera, you could see him smiling with satisfaction.

"but why don't we show it? it will be much more extravagant." he said as his hands touched your belly, a light rub of his thumb on your skin, too close to your bladder, and you didn't even know what he was going to do, because uzui never made a script for his recordings. "they're so full that i bet if i just shove my dick in they'll piss themselves."

you looked at his boxers almost anxiously, thinking about having his cock thrusting into you while you pissed yourself, made you clench into nothingness. you can hear him let out a small chuckle, lowering his hand to your folds. just hearing about my cock?

"ah, but then it wouldn't be funny." he opened yous lips with his fingers, playing with them for the camera, ignoring your needy hole clenching for him. "and we need to do it right."

his finger finally passed through your hole, making you shiver slightly and gasp as he continued to playfully pat it while another finger was going to its main target, rubbing against your clitoris so slowly that it felt like torture.

pressing lightly because he found it amusing how your legs spasmed every time, uzui decided to give you a little treat, rubbing his fingers across your wetness and sticking two fingers in at once, making your eyes widen and a loud moan come out of your throat with the force of the thrust.

it had gone straight into your bladder, and it was already so hard to hold it back that you were whimpering while he smiled, coming closer to give you a kiss, even if the camera didn't catch that part.

his thumb rubbing your clit in circular motions while his fingers started going in and out, you squirmed as you felt his fingers dragging and pushing against your bladder, swallowing as you felt him continue, going at a good slowly pace, this way your piss would soon come out, but at least it wouldn't make a mess...

what a joke.

you were talking about tengen uzui.

he spread your legs with one hand, using his arm to keep them bent, thrusting his fingers inside you faster and faster as he pressed you on the table, feeling your hole squeezing his fingers, which were hitting your bladder hard.

"ah, i think i can improve your vision!" he said, pulling your body with such ease that it looked ridiculous, still holding your legs as he pressed you against his chest, keeping you bent over, fingers running over your pussy as he approached the camera. "better that way, don't you think?"

you whimpered as you felt your breasts squeeze against his arm, your legs swaying slightly in the air as he thrust his fingers in again, gradually increasing the speed until the noises became loud again. you whimpered, feeling drops and drops start to flow, unable to hold it in any longer with all that pressure.

he would stop thrusting only to rub your folds, playing with the wetness that was beginning to drip and then returning to try and get more. he only had to move a little away from the equipment when you sobbed loudly, desperately releasing all the piss in a strong stream.

"extravagant!" he said, playing with the gush while you whimpered, feeling your pussy throb and pulse with both relief and arousal.

squirming against his chest, you felt his fingers go back inside you in a constant in and out motion, fucking you again while you pissed.

with his hand slapping against your folds and making a bit of a mess with the piss, which splashed everywhere, he started rubbing your clit with his thumb again, synchronizing at a fast pace. tengen loved to see you like that, almost destroyed and all wet against him and for him, showing how good your pissing skills were.

he rocked his hips slightly, thrusting on you to see the stream of piss making more of a mess and trying to relieve the volume that was growing between his legs. after all, he had drunk so much water too, and would have to relieve himself at some point.

"u-uzui..." you sobbed softly, eyes almost closed as you tried to push your hips against his fingers, too close. the stream of piss gradually diminishing to make way for drops, that flowed incessantly.

"gonna cum?" he asked softly near your ear, pulling you up a little, just to bite your ear, lightly. squeezing you a little tighter. "after pissing all over my hand... gonna cum on my fingers?"

you whimpered, trying to squirm trapped in his arms, squeezing your toes and clenching his fingers inside your soaked hole.

a slight chill hovered on your belly, whole body shivering when you finally came, whimpering loudly as his fingers continued, going as deep as they could and returning to caress you on that good spot. you could hardly breathe, going completely limp against him, only not falling over because he kept holding you tightly.

he pulled his fingers out of your winking hole, rubbing it in a light caress before wiping it off with his own mouth. supporting you on the table and lowering your legs, he held you with both hands to make it better, showering you with kisses.

he still had an erection inside his boxers, not to mention the wet spot that seemed to grow larger with every stream of piss that escaped from his cock. turning to the camera with a big smile, before giving a little wave and turn it off without much warning, without paying much attention to the agitated chat.

'cuz well, it's over for them, but for you? not yet.

THE PISSKING FINALLY, i can't talk openly about how much i want NEED his piss and how much he's into it.

anyway, i hate the porn industry and i will always criticize it, please guys, don't kid yourself about it.

but i wrote that because it was a request and the first person i thought of was uzui, he literally screamed in my mind. also, piss related, i couldn't resist. i think i've done what was asked, but i'm not sure, anyway if you even read this, hope you like it! <3

[joojdraws]

Two years... today has been two years in a row I love Rarold and my love never stopped ever since I've read BKMN for the first time on August 15, 2022... here's a drawing I wanted to make for our special day... I LOVE HIM!! 🌽♥️ (More under the cut!! ✂️)

My love for the corn man very is serious... I have my walls covered in pictures of him, my oc x canon ship with Mousey, some selfship art, itabags and so on... 🌽❤️

Tom's waits album "Real Gone" by Tom Waits!! (Gifted by my friend Sarah) the "Don't go into that barn" song is there... :3 1st and 2nd edition of BKMN... (I need the third!!) 2 Rarold plushies I tried to sew myself when I tried sewing for the 1st time... & my itabags!!! 🌽❤️

Framed pictures!!! A drawing traditionally drawn by the BKMN author themselves (I love it so much ❤️), a Rarold drawn by Omar from Team Egg I've got in a commission stream &&& Rarold and Kevin from the comic itself because I thought that was sweet to have that framed too!! 🌽❤️

My laptop is covered with corn stickers (two of them aren't corn cause that laptop is 5 years old and it already was here lol), Rarold keychains I designed myself, a cute corn keychain &&& a corn bookmark (Gifted by my friend Madeline) So many others corn items as well!!! The potato and corn plushies represent my comfort oc x canon ship with Rarold and Mousey... The both of them mean so much to me and I love to show my love to Rarold though my lovely oc Mousey 🌽🥔❤️💚 Rarold rug (handmade by my friend Madeline) and Rarold shirt with that one meme "do it for him" (I'm wearing it today for our two years anniversary as we speak 🤣🌽❤️)

And my very special item... My Rarold body pillow!! (Designed by my friend Rocky) 🌽❤️

Well, that is all... for now!! 3 plushies (2 big ones and a mini one) are currently being made by a friend of mine... The 2 big plushies will be Rarold and Mousey and the mini one will be my bkmnsona, a mini me!!! And I'll also get a Rarold figure by cadavercrafts! Exciting 🌽❤️

Thanks to everyone who always supported me with my love for the corn farmer... You, my friends, my mutuals, my followers and anyone else are the best... Excited to be next year for our three years anniversary... That just will be a-maize-ing!! See you next year, same day!! 🌽❤️

And of course... I LOVE YOU RAROLD!!! Thanks for making me feel special and loved for 2 entire days in a row. And Inspiring me so much. 731 days in a row (thanks February 29 this year) life is beautiful... I will always love you... You and your corn shenanigans!! 🌽❤️

[radfemsiren]

I’m a woman struggling with 🌽 addiction. I agree with all ur takes. I need help, its really bad, I dont know what to do anymore

This isn’t TikTok, we can say porn here lol.

What draws you to it specifically? Do you like to imagine yourself being degraded and exploited? Are you lonely? Before you open a page, analyze your emotions, and see what you will find out about yourself.

Do you have a video you’re drawn to? Look up the name of the actress in it, and learn about her life. Humanize her. I’ll never forget being a curious 13 year old and clicking the comment section of a porn video, and it all being “RIP, great gal tho”… I googled her name and found out she had the worst life ever, talking about being sexually abused as a child in multiple interviews. She died of an overdose after struggling with addiction for years. Really scared me how her videos were still being uploaded and she was still being sexualized… her whole life, from when she was a child, to even in her grave.

Porn stifles sexuality. Yes it numbs you to feeling empathy for other women, and it also numbs you to exploring and developing what you actually want. Sex is a skill, and not being an active participant in your own sex life degrades your ability to give and receive pleasure.

[picklebunbun]

adoptive parent! reader + kenny, karen, and kevin

_____________★彡✩ミ★_____________

hc or oneshot/series?: Headcannons

gn reader, they/them prns

genre: bit of angst, fluff

romantic/platonic?: platonic

fandom: South Park

cw: mentions of abuse, mentions of child neglect, mentions of horrible living conditions

~~~

scenario

you’ve heard of how horribly these three kids at south park were being treated, you’re heart immediately ached for them

they were all staying at a foster home, yiu’ve decided to adopt them

their clothes were raggedy with a few hole here and there, they had dirt all over their bodies and looks like they haven’t in years

actual hc

when the three went to your house, it was basically luxury than the house that they used to live in. Touching every little thing in your house

even though he’s the oldest out of the three, Kevin had no idea how to bathe himself or brush his teeth, so when teaching him these things, it was basically like mentoring a toddler

it certainly was nice to eat something other than half eaten poptarts and ice, you actually had a shocked face when seeing how skinny all of them were

Kenny would actually like a room with his little sister, he was always terrified that something would happen to Karen and he wouldn’t be there to stop it

Karen would make you play dress up with her, since she could actually get dolls and dresses. Karen definitely uses up all her princess makeup {not that good on actually putting it on}

During dinnertime, it was really hard to get used to, Karen always got scared of being yelled at for saying anything. Honestly, “dinnertime” back at the old house always made Kenny sick in the stomach but was pleasantly confused when it really wasn’t as bad as he thought

all of their moods significantly approved, even looking and smelling better at school. A lot of students were confused on how different they looked

it would be very wise to block out any 🌽 sites, just incase

the first month/week was extremely tough, it was pretty hard to get them to fully trust you, it’s not that they’re ungrateful, they’ve just gone through so much that it’s difficult to

When they do, it’s really nice, you get to have one-on-one conversations with you. It’s also nice to see them comfortable in your house rather than stand in the corner, scared

Kenny’s friends talk about the sudden change “is that your new parent?“ “yeah they’re really sweet!“ “thank god we don’t have to smell you anymore“

Kevin really likes racecars and comic books, he never had a chance to become an actual teenager and mostly fished with his dad, which he didn’t really like. So, when you bought him those things as a surprise for his birthday, he was absolutely estatic, jumping up and down

Karen likes getting her hair brushed, ever since she saw tangled, she sang the “healing“ song everytime you brush her hair. Karen also wears her Rapunzel tiara all the time, she likes the way it looks!

It was a little confusing seeung Kennt in a princess costume, but it really doesn’t matter, if he wanted to be a princess then he can {even if it’s for a stupid roleplay} you did his make-up and everything, which was nicely done may I add

In all seriousness, you seriously saved them, they can finally be normal kids and not have to worry if they have to eat the grass to survive tommorrow

~~~

[thepupperino]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

Hi @deedala @michellemisfit @crossmydna @mybrainismelted @sgtmickeyslaughter @lingy910y thank you for the tags this week!

And happy birthday @energievie!! Thank you for the birthday-related game :)

When is yours? April 25

Where were you born? Nebraska 🌽

How do you feel about your legal name? Are you using it online and/or IRL? I love my name and yes I use it everywhere! It never occurred to me that people would use a fake name here lmao

How about your sign? Do you feel it "fits"? Shoutout to @celestialmickey and my friend Lenny for teaching me everything I know about astrology. I think it’s fun and it fits if you take into account moon and rising and everything together

What's your earliest memory related to your birthday? My earliest memory related to my BROTHER’S birthday is when I fell in a bounce house and my tooth got ripped out

What's one of the best gifts you've ever received? This year for my birthday my husband got me an Eevee plush and one of my favorite candies and beautiful flowers and a sweet card and I cried

How about one of the best you've given yourself? I treat myself all the time I cannot answer this question

What's your favorite cake flavor? I’m not really in a cake mood right now…for my birthday this year we had strawberry shortcake and that was nice

How about your favorite flowers? Daisies and anemones and dahlias

Have your ever thrown a birthday party? If yes, tell us about your favorite one. Yes always, the best one was like a carnival dance party I had for my 16th

What's the ultimate birthday song? Uh…happy birthday?

And last but not least, pick a celebrity with whom you share your birthday. Daniel Sharman my Teen Wolf love

Tags below :)

@sleepyheadgallavich @sleepyfacetoughguy @spacerockwriting @too-schoolforcool @look-i-love-u @transsexual-dandelions @transmurderbug @transmickey @spookygingerr @spoonfulstar @gallapiech @callivich @sirrudo @jrooc @whatthebodygraspsnot @wehangout @ian-galagher @lupeloto @creepkinginc @sickness-health-all-that-shit @deathclassic @lee-ow @purplemagpie @palepinkgoat @roryonic

[garfieldsladybird]

I finished the show! i loved it! I don’t know if they are going to do another season, but if they do, I won’t mind it at all. The writers of the show had great ideas and executed it well, the actors were great in that part! i loved everyone. I really love that there was a balance of every character, even though David was the main character.

and I also really love that she ended up with ben sm!! enemies to lovers man <3

[stuffyflowers]

Ok payback for last one I'm gonna pay you to yap now

Sans/Toriel, Ceroba/Alphys, Starlo/Dalv (Because I'm evil)

Oh, and Sona/Ceroba. I'll give you some respite after throwing in the one I know you hate :3c

Finally back from touching sand and playing with friends I can answer these

Sans and toriel is like staroba to me I honestly don’t care if it’s romantic or not I just think they’re so important to each other regardless of how you personally see em. So makes sense n compels me. Don’t have much more to say honestly no notes. um shoutout to that moment in the pacifist ending where sans steals her phone and pretends to be her im thinkin abt it again,, they’re so cute guys ]: )

Ceroba and alphys is the definition of makes no damn sense but compels me. Like the chances of either of them voluntarily being in the same room as each other for any amount of time is sooo unlikely but ‘women who project their self loathing onto each other bc they recognise their own faults and mistakes in them’ is my favourite ship dynamic right now it’s so good. Obviously alphyne and cerobas friendship with starlo is the healthiest outcome for each of them in their respective pacifist endings but what if they just made each other worse forever and ever actually 💖 Be each others outlet for their own guilt, drag each other further down into a self destructive pit, forever believing they are rotten to the core and no one could ever forgive or understand them… um!

🌽 yaoi booooooo 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅boooooooo🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅utdr fans we need to set higher yaoi standards there’s so much we could be cooking here but the one we’re latching onto is ‘guys who spoke to each other exactly once and have absolutely nothing interesting going on’ yaoi bc haha funny name + only (shippable) men in the main uty cast let’s be real here. Random thing that makes me lol when I think abt it is they’re literally standing as far away from each other as possible at all times in the one scene they’re actually in together like bros…….. there is nothing here. Sorry + no sense + not compelling + go ship starlo/el bailador or something instead im begging

Sonaroba obviously very similar boat to alphys and ceroba. My beloved trio of women who make mistakes that hurt people while trying to help/protect them. Sonaroba is even more interesting to me bc sona is essentially a worse-case-scenario ceroba: she never had that community to pull her out of her spiralling and grow as a person, she controls almost everyone. Staying this stagnant for as long as she has also means she’s even more stubborn than ceroba, too: ceroba is able to see the error in her thinking as soon as martlet is actually given the chance to reason with her, meanwhile sona in the imperfect endings doubles down on her initial perception of the monsters even when she acknowledges beforehand that she was wrong. She just can’t accept it. There’s so much to dig into 4 kcy. How would sona react to finding out what ceroba did, and how similar it is to her situation? Is there a mutual understanding that forms between them after they come clean to each other or does ceroba just become sonas scapegoat, “See? Monsters can’t be trusted! They will lie to and deceive you just to get what they want!” Would ceroba try to save her after the truth comes out by reasoning with her, even in the imperfect ending where she turns all of her friends into humans against their will?? What’s the limit for how far she’s willing to go to save a fucked up reflection of herself? Augh. Anyway. It’s a “kind of makes sense in the context of kissy cutie where the entire plot revolves around getting monsters to date frisks shitty racist aunt but probably not in any other context + COMPELS ME‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️”

[deedala]

✨ weekly tag wednesday ✨

thanks for the fun and wild game @mybrainismelted and for tagging me!! + @energievie @lingy910y @spookygingerr @burninface !! 💖💖💖

Name:  deanna

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (or you):  i am in ohio 🌽

Ok, so this week we are going to snoop into your google search.  Type in each phrase and tell us what the first suggestion is that google gives you!

What is the best way to….  lose weight?  ex fucking scuse me?? i have never in my life googled this fuck off (body liberation you fuckers!!!)

Where can I…. watch quiet on set?  i dont even know what that is

How old is…. reba mcentire? loool cannot say i have ever really wondered this but i did watch a couple episodes of Reba last week-ish when i saw they added it to netflix??

How long does it take… to get a passport?  it is possible i googled this after realizing mine expired??

How many… weeks in a year?  this is definitely something i would google as i am awful at remembering numbers in the correct order

Who set the record for…. The highest jump.  yeah same i have never even wondered this let alone googled this lol

When did…. covid start?  i do not need to google this i actually remember it QUITE CLEARLY THANKS

What does it feel like to… pass a kidney stone?  lol YIKES, i have no really wondered about this nor needed to google it i feel like its pretty common knowledge that its fuckin painful

Can you… drink distilled water?  it tastes so gross though lol

When you… wish upon a star lyrics.  🤨 (just gonna keep kats commentary on that one cuz same lol)

Why do… cats knead?  so cute thanks google!! i've never googled it but it was a cute little result to look at thanks lmao

Is there a way… to save karlach?  what even is this i have no idea

How old do you have to be… to rent a car?  never googled that and dont need to know but ok

Where do the… pacers play?  is that a sportsball team?

What is the best time to… post on instagram? uhhmm not information i care about lol 

And to finish us off…. What comes up when you type in Shameless?  Shameless season 5 -- i mean yeah ok thats a good season i probably googled for it at some point for some reason lol

and now i shall hand out cookies 🍪 and also feel free to play if you want!! @michellemisfit @too-schoolforcool @darlingian @heymacy @heymrspatel @thepupperino @lee-ow @mmmichyyy @wehangout @metalheadmickey @whatwouldmickeydo @gardenerian @mickeysgaymom @gallawitchxx @callivich @vintagelacerosette @the-rat-wins @sam-loves-seb @blue-disco-lights @sickness-health-all-that-shit @samantitheos @loftec @iansw0rld @transmickey @tsuga-of-mars @ardent-fox @rereadanon @palepinkgoat @themarchg1rl @sleepyfacetoughguy @spoonfulstar @captainjowl @gallapiech @thisdivorce

[ddarker-dreams]

Hi! I have a question, you can ignore this if you want to but I’ve found myself really loving the way you write and the range of writing you can articulate as well. Speaking from someone who is nowhere close to that level of skill you possess, would you mind being able to explain your journey of writing, if you practiced any particular methods or anything else to get to this stage you are at right now? Unless you have been gifted the talent of writing from birth and didn’t need to try for much long or long enough to call it a journey. Could you also spare some tips and advice for someone who wants to start writing stories and what to look into/practice?

I love your work a lot and I am constantly waiting for the notification of your new posts, despite not being a writer myself I do love breaking down and analysing writing and your stories are always such good options for me to look into. Thank you so much for writing and sparing your time to produce such well done pieces of work — I felt extremely corny writing this, excuse me for this language, I promise I’m not a pimp!

THIS ISN'T CORNY AT ALL!!!! ❌🌽❌!!!!

i'm deeply grateful for all your kind words, thank you so so much 😭

i don't mean this in a self-deprecating way, but i've never considered myself a gifted or super incredible writer, i just get hype about story ideas and try to make them as good as i can. due to that, i start sweating when people ask for advice because i don't consider myself qualified... i do have a writing advice tag, but take everything i say with a grain of salt!! if it's fanfic literally all that matters is that you enjoy whatever you're writing.

i'm more than happy to share my writing journey though!! it's kinda fun to reminiscence.

i've loved reading and writing ever since i was a little lock. while thinking about this ask, it occurred to me that what i've always been the most invested in are the characters. i'd think about 275894275 different storylines with them. i didn't start writing fanfic until i was around 11 though, everything was handwritten. or in flipnote hatena.

i did a lot of fanfic writing from 11-14 buuuut then my interest in it kinda fizzled out. it wasn't until i watched hxh for the first time that i took it up again bc chrollo is that powerful. that's when i started conceptualizing HWR. i looked at my early writing folder, the first HWR fanfic i wrote was in 2016 when i was 15 ?? here's a cursed excerpt:

anyway, once i started making googly eyes at chrollo, it was gg. i've been writing often ever since.

what's helped me the most is to focus on the elements i find interesting. for example, i like fleshing out my MCs, focusing on dialogue, and developing a universe around the main pairing. because i enjoy this so much it's (mostly) always easy to devote time and effort toward it.

so i think it comes down to finding out what niches you like and working with those. some writers prefer to write with heavy prose, others are more succinct, some writers like dialogue, others prefer to be more action based... etc etc. this does require a little time if you're completely new to writing, but you know yourself best. you'll eventually pick up on what part of the story you're most excited to write.

this isn't particularly mind-blowing or anything but i hope it helps some 😭 what completely Altered my mindset was when i realized i can be as self-indulgent as humanly possible. cringe is not in my vocabulary. write a MC where every single character is in love with them if you want. write a 100k word fic about your OC being isekaid into x world. post about your f/os, draw art of you with your fav, go ham.

[punkshort]

LISTEN. I had been putting off reading Roomates, thinking 🌽⭐️!Joel was not a trope I would be interested in. I had read IKWYA, and knew I should have just trusted you😭. I love it so much I want to throw up, I will never doubt you again💀

Oh my god this was from ages ago and so was your other ask (which I'm about to also answer) and I swear neither of these showed up in my inbox!! I check on my phone and my laptop and never ever before this very moment (not even 10 min ago) did these show up. I feel so bad I'm so sorry!

I did wonder why the number in my inbox was always 2 more than I could actually see but I figured it was a glitch? GUESS NOT!

Anyway THANK YOU SO MUCH for giving Roommates a shot! I know the pornstar angle is not everyone's bag so I appreciate you giving a try! I like to think I had a different take on it, so I'm glad you liked it!

[clairosrealwife]

Iowa anon here, good lord, how many of us corn folks on here now 😂🌽

Anyway, quite a few students here are more shocked that Claire is now for the girls when she’s never been for the girls until whenever. We’ve seen her date a few guys when her and her long time boyfriend broke up last year. Guess there’s nothing wrong with seeing if the grass is greener on the other side 🤷‍♀️. We’ve also heard of the Kate rumblings, but honestly, they were barely seen together, even last year.

The most was at that party after we lost to LSU. A few of us also heard about the hammock incident and the flowers, but my own friend group and I didn’t really think anything of it because we would still see Sydney around. We even saw them holding hands so it’s kinda awkward looking back on it.

The point I’m trying to make is, quite a few of us and others around campus saw Kate more with the team outside of 🏀, either with Jada and Gabbie or just her and CC (and Sydney when she’s visiting), but hardly ever with Claire. I think this is a fairly recent thing, like hey, let’s date and see how this long distance thing will work out because after 🏀 was over, Claire was with her friend group and Kate was with hers and weren’t in the same social circle. Sydney was also still in the picture even after the game vs USC all the way up to just before the draft because we saw her a few times before she headed back to Chicago.

Kate got around with just not blondes either during her time in IC.

usc as in south carolina or socal?

also for the iowa anons, do you guys mind putting which anon you are? from what ik there’s masters, iowa anon #2 (but she said she didn’t have any more info to send), or iowa anon #3