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yogurtlamp · 5 years ago

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if the world was ending (you’d come over, right?)

You can also read it on ao3

The end of the world begins with a very anticlimactic start. Maybe you read it in the papers. Maybe you saw a tweet on it. Maybe you heard it on the radio. However you found out, it doesn’t matter. The world is ending.

Some people go jump off a building. Some people write love letters. Some people pool all their money together to buy pasta, intent on becoming internet stars in their last few hours.

Dazai does none of that. He leans against the brick wall of some nondescript building, watches the sky tide over in waves of peach and strawberry, hands in his pocket.

Across the street, someone breaks down screaming. He leaves. He doesn’t need to hear desperate wails of someone who cannot be saved. He’s heard enough of those in his lifetime, some from his victims, more from his own throat.

He feels the pavement beneath his shoes, hears the wind rustling through the trees.

Funny, he’s going to die, yet he’s never felt something so close to being alive.

_________

He gets back to his apartment, and packs everything up. Orderly cardboard boxes that Kunikida would be proud of. Drags them onto the balcony, slowly burns each box. (There isn’t much to burn. There isn’t much he owns. Still, the flames accept it, swallow whatever he can give.)

Smoke curls around him, before swaying into the evening sky, gone.

Smoke is constant. The burning of his orphanage. The pop of Odasaku’s gun. The kiss of Chuuya’s cigarettes. And now, the reassuring caress of his burning possessions.

He considers these. The timeless countdown of hours before he ceases to exist as it wraps its arms around him, Death finally content with being caught after he’s chased it for so many years.

There are many things he wants to say, to many people he will not say them to. Everyone has plans, and he is certain he is none of them. Better to wander, let fate pull her strings and do what she wants with what’s left of his life.

So he does exactly that. He walks by the beach and spots Atsushi and Akutagawa glaring at each other with some complicated mixture of love and anger in their eyes. Listens to the hum of the wind as Kyouka and Kouyou drink tea in the silence of a garden that Dazai isn’t allowed in, but enters anyway. Catches Fukuzawa kneeling before Mori’s grave, contemplating over a scalpel.

He doesn’t interrupt them. They have their lives to lead, their final words to say, and Dazai doesn’t deserve to steal their precious time.

He pops by a bar in a hidden little alley, orders two whiskeys and a Golden Fizz. He doesn’t get angry. Doesn’t tear up. He leaves the drinks in the bar, untouched. A small tribute to what they could have been. Dazai has never been a forgiving person, but he thinks he might start now.

He lets fate guide him, so it's really no surprise she led him here, on the steps of the slums, waiting for something- someone he can’t let himself wait for.

He can’t let himself wait, yet he still does. Waits on some fleeting hope that the someone will be here, with the freshly risen stars a witness to his idiocy.

Quietly, he wonders if this is their last night as well. If they cease to exist when there's no one left to watch them. Such self-centered thought is natural for humans, the belief that the meaning of everything in the universe is dependent solely on us. (For this first time since he can remember, he doesn’t correct himself. He lets himself entertain the idea of being human, it's a small guilty pleasure he rewards himself with on his last day.)

Dazai is a fool to wait. But he supposes Chuuya is a bigger fool for coming.

Maybe Chuuya knew Dazai would be here. Maybe he didn’t. The world around them has always been so easy for Dazai to predict, the people and events nothing but little puppets for him to play with, but it’s never been like that with Chuuya. He hates to admit it, but he can’t see through Chuuya. He knows what to say to make Chuuya hit him, to make Chuuya mad, but he’s lost the moment Chuuya looks into his soul with that hadal gaze.

He doesn’t turn to look at Chuuya, continues to stare up at the stars. Distantly he notes the slight blurriness in his right eye from the eye patch he had been wearing the last time he was here. Maybe he should have considered the impacts of wearing an eye patch over a perfectly healthy eye for years, but he hadn’t expected to live this long. It’s alright though, poor vision in one eye is nothing when you’ll be dead in less than a day.

Chuuya sits on the step behind him, the same height as Dazai for once in his life. He offers him a juice box. Dazai ponders the impact it will have on his image, a lovestruck detective sharing an apple juice with a mafioso, before he realises he doesn’t care. He takes the small carton from Chuuya’s hands and sips.

“So. End of the world.” It’s so rare for Chuuya to start a conversation that isn’t just yelled threats.

“Mn. How are you feeling?” It’s a simple phrase that asks so many questions, from are you ready to die? to is there anything you want to say to me? Please?

Chuuya responds simply.

“Well, kinda like shit.”

Dazai chuckles.

“So many things to do… yet… no one to do them with. You’d think with so many people around me, I’d be throwing a party or drinking myself to death. But well…” Chuuya pauses. It’s so unlike him to say his deeper thoughts. But then again it's so unlike Dazai to wait for him, so unlike him to accept a juice box and make soft conversation. Maybe in this small world between them, they could have been different, could have been friends. (Maybe more, Dazai thinks, but it will never happen, because this isn’t Soukoku, isn’t their trademark Angry-Idiot-Snarky-Asshole dynamic, and Dazai doesn’t know how to let them exist outside of Soukoku)

“But well?” Dazai prods.

“... It feels like… a disrespect. To waste your last day in some dazed hell, to let everything disappear while you’re busy singing your lungs out.” Chuuya finishes.

“Ah… Well I just so happen to have nothing to do.” Dazai smirks at him, the offer dangling from the Dazai’s outstretched hand.

Chuuya looks at him for a moment, eyes flickering with indecision, and takes it.

________

Chuuya’s list of things to do is nothing fancy. It's full of ordinary things, things not worth making a big deal of (if you weren’t a walking science experiment and a traumatised murderer).

Dazai loves it.

(Dazai loves more than just the list, but he can’t say it or it will become true.)

_______

“Ah! Vending machine! Right there! That's our number 4!” Dazai bounces on his heels and points at the glowing box down the road. Simple happiness is a good look on him, Chuuya decides.

Dazai grabs his hand and skips down the road, dragging a squawking Chuuya with him.

They stand there for five minutes, carefully selecting their drinks, before they realise.

“Hey… Do you have any money?”

“... Not enough.”

“Oh.”

Then they get the most devious look on their faces.

Dazai pulls a pen out of his pocket, tears the corner of his bandages, and with eight hours left, two grown men crouch over the sidewalk, plotting.

_______

Ultimately, their plan ends in ruins. The vending machine blows up, leaving them covered in cold syrup , and the only two drinks left are the worst ones.

They still drink them, bickering over who’s fault it was.

(Dazai thinks that he might hate melon milk, but at this moment it’s his favourite drink.)

________

They work their way through the list, a small taste of everything they missed out on the moment the world decided they weren’t worth a normal life. They rediscover Yokohama, learn what it means to be a person. Chuuya is horrifyingly brilliant at scissors-paper-stone, and Dazai is allergic to rabbits. The wind tastes of something distinctly Home, and the glow of the streetlights is peaceful.

The world is beautiful, and for a second, Dazai wishes it wasn’t going to end.

_______ The idea that small apartments are always cozier than expansive penthouses is absolute bullshit, Dazai thinks, because Chuuya’s penthouse is full of such warmth and life that’s always absent from Dazai’s shoddy two-room flat. But perhaps it's just Chuuya, that his tiny body can’t contain all the bursting vitality so it spills into the space and people around him, unbiased and ever-generous.

Chuuya pours himself a glass, Dazai rummaging around until he finds Chuuya’s hidden stash of capri-sun. He’d throw back a whiskey, but what’s the point of drinking something you hate just to remember someone you’ll probably see in a few hours? (He doesn’t let himself consider the fact that heaven and hell will split them, that he may never see Odasaku again.)

They clamber up to the roof, concrete floor and rusty red railings lined with plants that Chuuya never bothered taking care of. Dazai used to do it for him, to feel like he was paying back some of that warmth Chuuya so freely gave, but it’s been years since they’ve properly talked, much less taken care of each other's rooftop gardens..

Spiels of purple and pink bleed across the sky, a testament to the shortening of their time.

There are many things Dazai wants to say, to many people he will not say them to, but he thinks there may be an exception to that rule.

It’s been building up to this for the past hours, whispering in the back of both their minds as the seconds tick by.

It’s been building up since he left, the ache in both their chests begging them to do something that would be treason to their respective organisations.

It’s been building up since they met each other, fate tying together two broken boys and promising them you’re meant to be together.

Dazai turns to Chuuya, eyes lighted with a certain spark that's rarely there.

He leans in, and Chuuya doesn’t wait, meets him in the middle.

_______

“I love you.” He says, in the centimeters between them.

“I love you.” He’s said in a million ways, from the cool touch of No Longer Human against Corruption, to the waiting beside his hospital bed after every mission.

“I love you.” He’s never said, too clogged up with the acrid petrol in his head to properly admit it.

“I love you,” he says, and he feels his answer against his lips.

_______

In the end, the way it happened doesn't matter. The world could have been ripped apart instantly, or dissolved into meringue smoke. Ultimately, it's inconsequential. What matters was that they have each other, and not even the end of the world can change that.

#soukoku #dazai #fanfic #chuuya

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paola-believeinmagic-02 · 5 years ago

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A Shrine to Worship You (Part 1)

Soukoku Week 2019 - Day 2 (09/09) – worship

Summary: The god of calamity didn’t expected to wake up and still be in the human world, much less be taken care of by a human and a fox.

Notes: It is my first time writing a fanfic for the BSD fandom and also my first time writing a fanfic in English! I’m not going to lie, I’m both excited and nervous! I hope you like it.

Part 2: Debt and repayment (Day 4; 09/11)

Part 1

His head felt as if it had been hit by thousands of rocks.

If he wasn’t wrong, humans call this a headache.

It’s horrible and annoying to be the first thing you feel when you rein consciousness.

This is why he rarely takes a physical form and visits the human world, but if his father requests him to do so, who does he think he is to say no?

The next thing he was able to feel was the pain through his entire body, his limbs wouldn’t respond to him, even though he wanted to lift his arm and try to massage his head with his hands to alleviate his headache. But it was no use, he couldn’t move no matter how hard he tried.

There was something warmth at his left, probably a fire. It was nice, it wasn’t burning him. No, it was just there to chase away the cold. If he wasn’t wrong, it was the middle of spring in the human world, the heat was beginning to arrive, but the cold was still more or less present, especially at night.

Another thing he noticed was that he was atop of a pile of furs and, although they were soft and cozy, one could still felt the hard and irregular surface of the ground. He was most likely in a cave, taking into account the way the wind and the sounds it produced were bouncing around him.

The more aware he was of his surroundings the more evident was the presence of another being beside him, at his right.

With all the strength he was able to summon, which wasn’t much, he compelled his eyes to open.

Confirming many of his assumptions, the first thing he saw was the roof of the cave, though it took him some time to stop seeing it blurry. Once his sight was more focused, he tilted his head a little, noticing a small wood fire and a pot above it, probably just boiling some water, given the lack of any special smell coming from there.

Soon the fire would need more wood to stay alive.

As if reading his mind, or probably noticing the same thing, his companion put some more wood in the fire and stir it with a stick above him.

“It’s good to see you awake, kami-sama~,” a man said at his right with amusement in his voice, almost singing the last words, as if he was making fun of him.

Honestly, humans are becoming each day more disrespectful towards the gods.

“You must be very tired and sore after the show you gave the other day,” continued to speak his companion once he was satisfied with the state of the wood fire, leaving the stick aside. Then, he proceeded to lift the furs covering him closer to his chin and offering him a small smile that was supposed to comfort him. “It seemed painful. You were bleeding a lot.”

To his surprise he noticed some concern in the eyes of his companion, but it was soon gone and replaced it with fascination.

“I didn’t know gods bleed!”

“Of course we bleed in the human world, especially when we take a physical form.” The god replied once he was sure he was able to push his voice out, but his voice was hoarse for the lack of use, and he felt like his throat was full of sand.

“Interesting,” was all the human said in response to that information. And then, a mischievous grin spread across his face. “You are really tiny for a god, you know? Did you choose to be that tiny or are you really that small, even in the realm of the gods?”

The god hasn’t spent any more than a few minutes with this human and he already wanted to strangle him. This human must has a real suicidal nature to afford to be so insolent towards a deity.

He swore that once he stopped feeling pain he will give him a lesson.

He was about to give this human his own share of words and opinions, even if that destroyed his throat, when he heard delicate steps entering the cave.

The human must has listened to them too because his gaze moved towards the entrance of the cave.

“Oh, you got them, Haruhi-chan? Thank you!”

A beautiful red fox sat next to the human, and in her mouth she carried what seemed to be a bunch of herbs.

The human scratched her head, putting special attention behind her ears, and took the herbs from her mouth. The fox, Haruhi, closed her eyes in contentment at the treatment she was receiving and inclined her head a little more towards the human to be petted better.

“Thank you again, Haruhi-chan. Now, wait just a couple of minutes darling, so I can prepare Odasaku’s special tea to kami-sama.”

Haruhi whined, not pleased at all that the human stopped paying attention to her but she didn’t move from her place, her eyes following every move of the human who got up to approach the pot.

The human put the herbs in the boiling water, along with a bunch of other ingredients that were close to the fire wood and stir them with a spoon.

“It’s good that I stopped you before you completely destroyed my house, if not this would be a lot harder to do,” the human said without moving his gaze from the water.

The god wanted to ask him a lot of questions but his throat was really not working with him.

“Don’t worry. Odasaku’s special tea cures everything. The pain will go away before you know it.”

It could be a trick of the fire light, but the god could have sworn that he saw a mix of fondness and sadness in the eyes of the human.

The more time passed, the more he wanted to ask questions, but if it was true that that Odasaku’s tea was able to alleviate his pain he was willing to wait.

For some reason the name “Odasaku” sounded familiar to him. Wasn't he the reason why his father had sent him to the human world?

“There we go!” the human exclaimed, pulling the god out of his thoughts. He took a tea cup that was chipped and a little cracked, and poured some of the tea in it with the spoon. He blew it a couple of times and then approached the god. “A special tea to heal the pain to kami-sama!”

The human helped him lift his head and neared the cup to the god’s lips, tilting the cup enough for him to drink the tea slowly.

The god flinched at the first contact with the hot liquid but didn’t stop drinking, thankful to finally be able to calm his thirst. The tea was burning his mouth and his throat, but he could feel almost immediately how much it was helping him.

“I know, I know. It’s too hot, but Odasaku always said that that way it will work better.”

Whoever that Odasaku was, was right. The god could feel the heat of the tea and its healing properties spreading through his body. The pain was vanishing little by little but he knew it would take a while to disappear completely. At least now the god could feel that he was able to lift his arms and speak.

“More, please.”

A satisfied smile adorned the human’s face while he nodded. He lies down the god again in the furs to go for more tea.

The human seemed proud of himself but not in a smug way. It seemed more like a kid who caught a fish for the first time after their father instructed them how to do it and achieve it in the first try. The god has witnessed that in the few occasions that he had decided to visit the human world, so he was sure that that gleam in the human’s eyes was close to innocent pride.

After drinking a couple of more cups of that special tea, the god was able to sit straight and talk with the human, who sat in his previous position at his right and resumed his caresses towards the fox, who decided to lie on her front legs.

“Thanks for the tea.”

“You are welcome, tiny god.”

There it was that insolent smile again.

“Arahabaki” said the god, trying to hide his annoyance towards the human.

“Huh?...”

“That’s my name”

“I have never heard that name before in my life, nor do I like it,” said the human with an expression on his face like he has just witnessed something gross. “So I’m gonna give you another one”.

“Wait, what?!”

Ignoring the god, the human positioned his fingers on his chin and started to look at the roof of the cave, deep in though.

“Let’s see, how should I call you? Any ideas Haruhi-chan?”

The fox just stared at the human and after a while she yawned and positioned her head between her paws.

“You are right, Haruhi-chan!” the human exclaimed like he has just have a conversation with the fox. Arahabaki was sure that his eyes were wide open in disbelieve at the display in front of him. He has certainly never been in a situation like this. “We can’t give a god, no matter how tiny he is, a common and simple name like Sato or Suzuki. No, a god capable of destroying an entire village needs a special name.”

Arahabaki wanted to point out that the «tiny» part was highly unnecessary and that if the human was aware of his destructive powers maybe he should consider to be more respectful towards him, but the opportunity never came since the human intervened the second he was about to speak.

“Chuuya!”

“Huh?...” was the only thing the god was able to said in response to that.

“Oh, right! You also need a last name.”

“Oi, wait a minute…”

“Nakahara! Nakahara, Chuuya. What do you think?” the human asked but not at him, but at Haruhi, who simply lifted her head and turned it to lick the human’s hand. “Great! That’s how we will call you from now on.”

“YOU CAN’T JUST GIVE NAMES LIKE THAT!” screamed Arahabaki, feeling a surge of his power go through his body, answering to his anger.

Haruhi stood up at the scream and tensed up when everything around the cave started to vibrate.

Some rocks started to acquire a red glow and floated around them while the cave kept trembling, like it was going to collapse at any second, but the human barely bat an eye at the display.

To Arahabaki’s surprise, the human just leaned forward and extended one arm toward him and with a single finger tapped the god’s forehead.

“Boop.”

Immediately the rocks that were floating dropped to the ground and everything stood still.

Arahabaki felt with that single touch as if a great wave of cold water had fallen on him. And he couldn’t feel his powers, no matter how hard he tried to summon them back.

He probably would never admit to his sibling, much less his father, that he yelped and backed away as much as he could from the human’s touch. But his legs got tangled in the furs and while trying to disentangle himself he ended up falling on his back.

Soon the human and the fox’s heads were hovering above him. The fox sniffed at him carefully and then licked his face. Beside her, the human seemed concerned about him but, thankfully, didn’t attempt to touch him again.

“Are you okay, Chuuya?”

“I told you my name is Arahabaki.”

“And I told you I didn’t like that name. So I’m calling you Chuuya.”

“Alright, insolent human. What’s your name?”

“Tsushima, Shūji”

“I hate that name, I’m going to give you a new one,” replied the god. He thought that maybe if he gave a little of his own medicine to the human he would stop bothering him and start calling him by his real name.

Of course that didn’t work.

“Really!” exclaimed with excitement the human, surprising both the god and the fox. “Did you hear that, Haruhi-chan? Chuuya is going to give me a new name! I think this is the closest thing to a blessing I’m ever going to receive.”

“What you mean the closest…What?”

The human offered him a smile that seemed to try to reassure the god, but the glint of mischief in his eyes wasn’t comforting at all. The human extended his arms toward Arahabaki to help him but stopped when he saw the god flinch.

“As you saw earlier, I’m immune to the gods powers. That includes curses and blessings,” said the human who moved his gaze from Arahabaki to his own hands. “I don’t know why but as long I can remember it has always been like that for me.”

The human lowered his hands and folded them in his lap, returning his gaze towards the god.

“You are the tiniest god I have ever met but not the first god I have encountered. Many gods have tried to test the extension of my immunity, throwing blessings, curses or their powers at me but they had zero effect on me. It seems my immunity has no exception.”

“That’s what you meant before, right? About stopping me.”

Arahabaki started to vaguely remembering it, after receiving the mission from his father, he took the physical form that he always used whenever he went to the human world and no longer a second later after landing like a meteorite in the village, he unleashed his powers at its maximum capacity.

He wasn’t the god of calamity for no reason. Whenever his father sent him to the human world it was always with the purpose to destroy anything in his path. He was the embodiment of his father’s ire and that village was going to pay for having awakened it.

But that amount of power was too much for his physical form and after a while it ended up consumed by it too. Which was fine to some extended, because after “dying” he would just come back to the realm of the gods and go on with his life but that also meant having to reconstruct his physical form for his next visit to the human world which was tedious to do.

However this time that was not what happened.

He remembered wreaking havoc around him, the euphoria he felt when he let out his true power, reducing everything to dust, crumbling every house at sight, killing the villagers who barely have time to scream or run in panic before the force of gravity crushed them.

Every villager except for one.

One human who just stood there, kneeling and embracing the body of a man like his life depended on it. One human who didn’t saw him with fear but with fascination and gratitude. One human who approach him without hesitation and held his wrist firmly. One human who caught his body on time before it hit the ground. One human whose brown eyes were the last thing he saw before he passed out.

The same eyes that now continued to observe him but this time with amusement.

“Indeed. I really enjoyed seeing you destroy that village,” the human said with a crooked smile, “but I had to stop you when you started to throw those weird red balls of energy randomly and one landed near my house. Besides, as I said before you were bleeding too much and it seemed painful. I hate pain and well…I don’t know, perhaps I didn’t like the idea of my avenger to be in pain.”

Without looking away from the human, Arahabaki sat up and untangled himself from the furs with calm. The human has the courtesy of giving him space and sat in his previous spot, always leaving his hands at sight in order to prevent the god to feel threatened.

The god would have laughed at the absurdity of the gesture if it wasn't for the fact that his powers have no effect on this human and that he disliked how vulnerable he felt when he touched him.

Leaving aside his insolent nature, to Arahabaki it was strange how considerate the human was towards him. After all, he was kind enough to stop him when he saw him in pain, kind enough to search for a shelter where he could treat him and prepare a special medicine for him.

Arahabaki repeated in his head everything the human had said so far and analyzed each word carefully trying to figure him out like a puzzle.

The human never interrupted his thoughts and instead busies himself with petting Haruhi again.

“You really hated that village,” finally said the god.

“That village was indifferent to me until a day ago, when they took something very dear to me.”

“That Odasaku guy you were talking about, right?”

Arahabaki noticed how the human’s hand switched briefly before stilling atop of Haruhi’s head, causing the fox to look at the human and emit a small whimper. But the human was not looking at either of them, his eyes fixed at some spot in the wall of the cave across from him. However his gaze seemed in another place, in another time.

That small reaction and the lack of light in those eyes were enough confirmation for him.

“Was he your father?”

Some fondness gave those eyes a little light, but they were still distant.

“Something like that.”

As if she could feel his loss, Haruhi stood up and butted her head against the human’s chest, as she was trying to comfort him. This caused the human to wake up from his haze and be back to the present. He offered the fox a small smile that didn’t completely reached his eyes and proceeded to keep petting her. But this time Haruhi decided to lie down on his lap and didn’t take his eyes off him.

“He has been taking care of me since I can remember,” continued speaking the human looking back at the god. “No one in the village wanted to deal with a fourteen year old orphan with amnesia, and much less when everyone found out about my immunity that, ironically, everyone saw it as a curse from the gods.”

“How did they found out? And, what you mean by amnesia?”

“To this day I have no memories of myself before I was fourteen,” the human said while shrugging his shoulders, resting importance to that fact about himself. “My first memory is Odasaku carrying me on his back through a forest towards the village.”

“He said that he found me asleep in the middle of the forest,” continued the human. “He took me to the village’s priest, who was the only one around with enough medical knowledge to treat me.”

Suddenly, a more somber expression appeared on the human’s face.

“Of course, the priest tried to bless me after treating my wounds and my immunity send him flying away.” A dark chuckle escaped between the human’s lips. “After that I was no longer a human in need of help in his eyes. I was just a thing that they have to get rid of before it curses the village.”

And as soon as that darkness invaded the human’s face it disappeared and was replaced with something akin to nostalgia.

“But Odasaku was fast and he took me away from the priest and gave me asylum in his home from that night.”

“That…that monster will be nothing but troubles Oda-san!”

“That thing will be our ruin!”

“Keep that demon away from us!”

“Don’t listen to them.” Odasaku had told him once while he hugged him and stroked his head. “They are just scared.”

“The news of a child immune to the hand of the gods spread. And I’m sure if it wasn’t for Odasaku my life there would have been ten times worse that what it was…or it would have ended sooner.”

For his voice it seemed that that last option didn’t bother him as much as it should. A single glance at the bandages that covered the human’s neck and wrists more or less confirmed the gods suspicious about the suicidal nature of the human.

“Odasaku was well respected in the village, so no one dared to upset him, much less lift a hand to him.” A rueful smile adorned his face. “That is why the villagers left us alone or ignored me…most of the time.”

A heavy silence stretched between them.

The human didn’t need to say it for the god to understand it. Even under that Odasaku’s protection, the human’s life in that village was far from pleasant. And the god is now surer than ever that the body that the human had been holding with dear life when he arrived at the village was Odasaku’s.

This led the god to ask the next question.

“What happened then? What led the village to go against him?”

“A very bad harvest season and drought,” the human replied and it was obvious to him that he was, unsuccessfully, trying to hold back the venom in his voice. “And of course the villagers blamed me for it. They said that I was preventing the village from receiving the blessing of the gods.”

“They are just scared.”

“Hunger and uncertainty made them aggressive. They needed something to blame.”

“I will protect you.”

“So they blame me.”

Arahabaki saw the way the human was shrinking more and more on himself, hunching his back and hugging himself. What the god didn’t know was if the human just wanted to disappear or if he was searching for a comfort that he could no longer reach.

Haruhi licked one side of his face and after bumping her head towards the humans arms she curled by his side seeing that she couldn’t do much for him but be by his side.

“But Odasaku didn’t allow them to touch you,” the god said after a while.

A sad chuckled left the human’s lips.

“Indeed.”

The human could still remember the sound Odasaku’s head did after being hit by a rock. The blood that didn’t stop marring the ground. The sound of bones breaking after being beaten without any mercy.

He remembered witnessing everything from the door of his house despite Odasaku’s orders to stay hidden inside.

He remembered seeing the life in Odasaku’s eyes leaving him little by little.

He remembered the scream of despair that let out his mouth and damaged his throat.

He remembered finally reacting and lunging towards Odasaku’s body.

He remembered cradling Odasaku’s body the same way the man always did whenever he had a nightmare.

He remembered waiting for the hits. Accepting his fate.

Because, despite hating pain, the idea of living without Odasaku was worse.

However, no hit landed on him.

Before any villager could attack him his avenger landed like a red fallen star upon them. A real force to reckon. A god who punished without mercy.

One that was now calmly seated in front of him, looking like any other person and staring at him with some pity in his eyes.

And the human couldn’t allow that.

“Well?”

“What?” the god asked confused, a little taken aback for the change of demeanor in the human.

“You said you were going to give me a name.” The human pouted. “Come on Chuuya, I’m waiting!”

“Are you really fine with that?”

“Don’t worry; I have no attachment to my name.” The human reassure him, waving a hand in the air as if he was trying to chase way any possible concern in the matter. “It was just the name stitched in my clothes when Odasaku found me. Besides, those clothes where way too big for me so I don’t even think they were mine to begin with, therefore I don’t even think that was my real name.”

“I see,” was all the god could think to say.

In his case, he remembered waking up in the middle of desolation.

With the God of gods, his father, by his side.

Both of them in the center of a huge crater where a city once was.

He woke up knowing what he was and why he was created. He was his father’s rage.

The god of calamity.

“Arahabaki” was all his father said to him before sending the both of them to the realm of gods.

“So? What is my new name?” the human asked, bringing him back to the present.

To Arahabaki this was an unusual situation for him for various reasons, among them the fact that he was a god who brought destruction to the world, not life, and give a name felt like an action meant to bring something to life. In other words, it was an unknown territory for him. Besides, he has never named something in his entire existence.

But after seeing the eagerness and expectation in the human’s eyes, the way he leaned almost his entire body towards the god; Arahabaki decided to give in the human’s whims.

He thought in the people he had met during his visits in the human world, in the few ones he had actually liked and respected until he finally decided on one that he thought would favor this human.

“Osamu”

“Osamu?...” the human said after blinking a couple of times. “And my last name?”

“Dazai…Dazai, Osamu,” the god said firmly, fixing his blue eyes over the brown ones of the human.

Dazai opened his mouth but not a single noise came from his mouth, as if a small gasp has managed to escape through his lips. His eyes were also wide open and the god saw how Dazai’s right hand lifted to settle in his chest above his heart, and how his hand tightened his haori.

Arahabaki was sure that Dazai was overwhelmed and that all those actions were involuntary.

“I…I like it, Chuuya,” finally managed to say Dazai, though his voice was barely a whisper. He wanted to remark Dazai that that wasn’t his name but he continued to speak, this time with more strength in his voice. “It’s like that was always meant to be my name. I don’t know… It feels like me.”

This time Dazai emitted a chuckled full of joy.

And the god didn’t have the heart to argue with Dazai, not when the simple action of giving him a new name have brought so much light to the human’s eyes and the most honest smile he have ever seen on him.

“Thank you, Chuuya.”

“You are welcome,” the god replied after gulping.

He could feel how warm his neck, face and the tip of his ears were. And his throat felt dry again.

“Could I have more of that special tea, please?” asked the god looking away.

“Of course!”

Dazai didn’t seem to have noticed the sudden change in the god. He just stood up to serve more tea, his genuine smile never leaving his face.

And the god thought that he wouldn’t mind seeing that smile in Dazai’s face for the rest of his life.

Once the tea was served, Dazai came close to the god but left a fair distance between them and left the tea cup next to him instead of offering it. Arahabaki thought that the gesture was odd until he remembered how he had reacted after Dazai had touched his forehead before.

“It’s fine, you don’t have stay away from me,” he said with some annoyance in his voice, though in was directed towards him. “A while ago you took me by surprise, that’s all.”

“Oh, those that mean that I can touch Chuuya as much as I want?” Dazai said while wiggling his fingers in front of the god and with a scary mix of amusement and mischief in his eyes and lips.

Arahabaki thought that he definitely could live without that smile in his life. But after a sigh he also thought that Dazai wouldn’t be Dazai without that part of his nature.

“Don’t get any funny ideas,” but after releasing another sigh he reluctantly said, “but yes. I guess you can touch me.”

Dazai lowered his fingers but he seemed satisfied with the answer.

Before he took a drink the god decided to also add:

“And I guess, while I’m in the human world…in my physical form and being with you…you can call me Chuuya.”

And Chuuya really needed to avert his gaze because Dazai’s eyes were practically sparkling to the point of being blinding.

The human probably didn't even need his permission to call him by his new name but receiving that free pass from the god was most likely exciting for him.

Chuuya was sure that he was going to regret this decision of feeding Dazai’s insolence but at that moment he couldn’t care less if it meant keeping the human’s eyes alive.

“By the way,” Dazai said once he saw Chuuya finishing his tea. “Why did you attacked the village? Not that I’m complaining but I’m curious.”

Chuuya didn’t saw the point in hiding the truth from Dazai, and he had the suspicious that even if he tried to lie to the human he would see right through it.

After the care and attention Dazai has given him Chuuya thought the least he could do was being honest with him.

“My father sent me on a mission” he said without looking away from Dazai’s eyes. “Punish the village that hurt and killed Oda Sakunoske.”

Chuuya didn’t think Dazai’s eyes and mouth could open more. Clearly he was wrong, because Dazai looked like a fish out of water after hearing Chuuya’s words.

It was the god’s turn to smile with amusement after seeing that expression on Dazai’s face.

“It seems that your dear Odasaku was also respected by the God of gods.”

After saying this Dazai exploded in laughter to the point that he bended forward and held his belly with his hands.

“It seems so. It shouldn’t surprise me so much,” he said between laughs.

Chuuya saw from the corner of the eye Haruhi waving her tail from side to side, infected with the good humor that the human emitted. And Chuuya had to admit that he shared the feeling.

Once again, he thought that he wouldn’t mind hear Dazai’s laugh more frequently.

Dazai calmed down after a while and lifted a hand to get rid of a few tears that escaped from his eyes.

“That is so typical of Odasaku. He is the weirdest man in the whole…” Dazai interrupted himself abruptly, a realization downing on him that quickly replaced the joy of before in sadness. “He was the weirdest man in the whole village.”

Chuuya didn’t know what to do to with the new atmosphere that invaded the cave. Even Haruhi seemed to have noticed because her tail stilled and her ears bent down.

The god was about to say something when a few rays of light started to illuminate the cave, indicating the beginning of dawn.

The start of a new day.

And the god couldn’t help but think that he shouldn’t even been there, in the human world.

Or with Dazai.

With a sigh Chuuya fixed his gaze in Dazai once again.

“I have to go,” he said and then bowed his head slightly. “Thank you, for everything.”

Chuuya removed completely the furs from himself and sat up, needing a couple of seconds to regain balance after having been lying for so long.

But he didn’t even take three steps when he felt a pull from one of the tattered sleeves of his black kimono.

The god looked down at the human who was at the moment kneeling, with his head bowed and clinging to his sleeve with all his strength, still avoiding physical contact with the deity but desperate to keep Chuuya with him and afraid that he would disappear if he let him go.

“I’m the one that should thank you. You avenge the death of Odasaku.”

“By orders of my father.” Chuuya said with a shrug but not attempting to remove Dazai’s hand.

“But you are the one who did the deed and I want to compensate you in some way.”

“You heal me, that’s more than enough.”

“It doesn’t feel enough…”

Chuuya didn’t know what he could say, what small favor or compensation he could tell Dazai to do in order to pay his debt with him and let him go. It was hard considering that Chuuya didn’t even have a shrine in the human world where he could tell Dazai to pray for him.

He was a very ancient god, and after his missions there was never a witness to spread the knowledge of his name or of his powers. And during his visits to the human world he never revealed his true nature in order to not call attention.

He told this to Dazai, hoping to deter the human his wish to thank the god in some way.

“Then I will build one!” said Dazai, lifting his gaze and fixing his brown eyes in Chuuya’s blue ones.

“Huh?”

Dazai finally let go of Chuuya’s sleeve to put both of his hands in front of him and deeply bow in front of the god.

“I, Dazai Osamu― formerly known as Tsushima Shūji―, swear to build a shrine for the god Arahabaki ―also known as Nakahara Chuuya― to worship him and spread his name in the human world for the rest of my life.”

Chuuya could just stare at Dazai in amazement.

For a moment he thought that Dazai was playing with him, that at any moment he was going to chuckle and said «I’m just kidding Chuuya». But when Dazai lifted his head and stared back at the god his expression was serious and determined.

And so, with the dawn and a fox as their witnesses, the god of calamity accepted in a cave the oath of worship from a human with a soft smile adorning his face.

#soukoku #soukoku week #soukokuweek19 #bsd #bungou stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #osamu dazai #my fics

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