#never been more baffled or validated in my life???

[jynersq]

advisor: you know you can ask for help. you don’t have to do [particular time intensive task] all by yourself, i already asked the RAs and they’ll help you!

me:

[letoasai]

Vlad- Alternate Obsession

Simply if Vlad hadn't been so obsessed with Maddie. How priorities might have shifted.

~

Daniel was dead. Great god almighty… He was dead. Half dead. Whatever. That didn’t matter. The little details were just there to make a horrible situation more tolerable. For one brief moment, Vlad hoped he was wrong. Hoped that this was merely exposure to ectoplasm or a sign that Daniel would become liminal faster than previously predicted, but no. He was sure. Daniel was dead. 

He watched as Daniel’s ghost sense was triggered, the teen coughing a second later. He looked around warily, holding himself rigidly. He was alert, but inexperienced enough to not realize Vlad was right in front of him. 

“Daniel, my boy!” Vlad greeted, finally untangling himself from Jack and Maddie’s latest tirade on being validated in their research. “How is school?”

It wasn’t uncommon. 

He was Daniel’s godfather after all, and had done what he could to be present for both Daniel and Jasmine since they were born. The children were exempt from his contempt and his affection for them was genuine but he’d never feared for them until this moment. 

Vlad tried to block out as many memories from his college years as he could. After his accident and subsequent half death, he had raged for a while. He’d been in despair, learning to mourn himself while handling abilities foreign to him. He had to learn things from scratch opposed to normal ghosts who knew things instinctively. 

He’d only briefly lost track of Jack and Maddie after his hospital stay but the urge to look them up again had gnawed at him. He had notebook after notebook filled to the brim with his own research on ghosts and ectoplasm but he would have been remiss to shun their research just because he couldn’t stand the sight of them. It was Jack’s blunder that had changed him after all. 

The pair had gotten married, and had a baby girl, but Vlad found himself more interested in their labs than their domestic life. The fondness he’d felt for his best friend, and the passion he’d once directed at Maddie had died with him. 

Jasmine had been a bright spot, and a wonderful distraction in those early visits. A small child also kept the Fentons busy enough that he could slip into their labs undetected. Copying their work and altering their inventions to ignore his own ecto-signature was essential. As far as he could tell, they’d never suspected a thing. 

Daniel coming along had been a blessing, even if it had confused Vlad at the time. Jack and Maddie loved their children but they were always complaining about not having enough time for their research. It had always been to Vlad’s benefit but adding a second child into the mix would only draw out their parental duties. 

However it baffled it, it benefited him. He only had to offer his jovial congratulations and time went on. 

Vlad…was aware that he was not who he once was. He’d either lost something when he half died, or gained something. He wasn’t sure. He was no longer naive. He’d done things in the last twenty or so years. Not all of them he was incredibly proud of. He had amassed a fortune, but it had seemed the natural progression of things at the time. He’d been young, desperate and dead. He’d need money to further his research so money needed to be acquired. 

He’d had medical bills…. Then he had ambitions. 

He might have been something of a thief, a criminal, but he’d never hurt anyone…to his knowledge… 

It was easier on his conscience when it was only stealing from Jack and Maddie. That felt like recompense for what Jack had done to him. He’d had a working portal a full four years before the Fentons. 

He’d never said a word about it and delighted in the secret of it. His wealth of knowledge was greater than theirs. When the pair had recently called him, gushing about their achievement, he’d been skeptical, but he’d seen Amity Park’s newspaper articles on the ghost of a lunch lady at Casper High, and the poor picture quality of a white haired menace that chilled him. 

“Hey Uncle Vlad.” Daniel greeted him with a smile, but his eyes were wary and stressed. Dark circles were beginning to form. “School’s, uh, good? Same old bullies. I gotta read Pride and Prejudice. Aced my last math test though.” 

Vlad hummed and nodded. “That about sums up my memories of high school as well.” It pulled a smile from Daniel. 

“And a ghost sighting! To think we’d find one so close to home! We’re pulling out all our weapons out of their testing stages!” Jack’s voice boomed, overly excited at their find and completely missing the way his son shrank back. 

“A stake out might be in order.” Maddie said, a smile in her voice. Her excitement was more contained but was very real. “Who knows, we might be there to capture the next one.” 

Vlad made a show of rolling his eyes and focused on Daniel. “What is freshman math anyway these days?” 

“I’m taking geometry.” Daniel said, latching onto the topic. “I got the hang of it pretty quickly. So far at least.” 

“You always did have a head for numbers.” Vlad said conversationally. 

“Vladdy! Come take a look at the newest prototype!” Jack was beaming, far too excited over the notion of ending a creature that was already dead. Vlad didn’t care for the sparks of fear that settled in his throat. An ending after the end was final, and terrifying. 

��Jack.” Vlad laughed good-naturedly. “Surely there’s time for that later. I did just arrive. I’d love to speak with Daniel for a while. High school will pass by before you know it.” 

Maddie just sighed, perhaps nostalgic. “It sure does. It won’t be long before Jazz is graduating.” 

“And entering into the ghost hunting business!” Jack declared. 

“Oh, Jack.” Maddie just laughed. 

“Where is Jasmine?” Vlad asked, his need to check on her…sudden. 

Maddie looked thoroughly. “Oh, hm.. She’s…” 

“Tonight’s the night she tutors.” Daniel said, sounding exhausted. “She’ll probably eat dinner before coming home.” 

“Oh, that’s right.” Maddie smiled, but she was already distracted with the toaster she was dismantling. 

Vlad hummed, oddly relieved. As the children had gotten older, their well being came into question more and more. “Well… Jack, you and Maddie seem to have your hands full this evening. Why don’t i take Daniel to dinner? I’d love to hear about his freshman year anyway.” 

“Can we get Nasty Burger?” Daniel perked up. 

Vlad snorted. “Not my first pick, or my second, but why not?” He’d eaten more burgers than he could count in college.  

“Really!? Yes!” Daniel grinned, “I’ll grab my hoodie, be right back!” 

“Danny sure loves your visits.” Jack laughed loudly. 

Maddie just hummed, still focused on what she was doing. “Don’t spoil him.” She said vaguely. 

“You won’t have to worry about a thing.” Vlad said, already turning back to the door. "I'll take care of him." By the time he got there, Daniel was behind him, practically pushing him out the door. 

“Let’s go, let’s go.” 

~ 

Vlad felt himself relax once he had Daniel in his car. He would definitely need to sneak back into the Fenton’s lab and grab whatever new information was available. He would also need to add in Daniel’s ecto-signature to their equipment before something automatically shot at him. 

He needed to address this. He couldn’t let the Fenton’s mistake harm anyone else. He’d shut their research down if he had to. He'd shut his own down if he had to.

He cringed at the thought. 

“Daniel, wait.” Vlad said after he’d parked in the most secluded spot the parking lot to Nasty Burger provided. “Before we eat, i would like to talk to you?” 

“Yeah? Sure.” Daniel said. His tone was light and playful. Normal. The color however, drained from his face. “Do i even gotta bother to tell you to call me Danny again?” 

Vlad smiled faintly. “I quite like the name Daniel, you know? That’s not however, what i wanted to talk about. Let me be clear, this conversation does not leave this car. Not by you. Not by me.” 

“Oh, uh. Yeah? Yeah, of course.” Daniel said, turning sideways in his seat to face him. “What…are we talking about?” 

“Ghosts.” 

Daniel sighed. “C’mon Uncle Vlad. Don’t i get that enough from mom and dad?” 

Vlad shook his head and reached out to grab Daniel’s shoulder. “No, listen to me. It’s safe to talk to me, and i will not ask about… whatever accident you must have had-” Horror was all over Daniel’s face. Enough time hadn't passed for him to mask his reaction to his death. “But i understand, Daniel.” 

“I don’t know what you mean?” Daniel muttered and winced when it didn’t sound the least bit convincing. For just a split second, he turned invisible. He probably hadn’t even realized he’d done it. Most would assume their eyes were playing tricks on them. 

Vlad leaned forward and opened the glove compartment, pulling out the article of the ghost attack on Casper High. “You’re not in trouble. Not with me.” 

Daniel only glanced at it before looking away again. He’d seen it already no doubt. “It’s not what you think.” 

“I’m very sure it is.” Vlad said softly. “I know all too well what ectoplasm and trauma can do. I can sense death around you.” He paused before pushing forward. “In time, i’m certain you’ll be able to sense it on me too.” 

Daniel’s lips tightened, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew what he heard and was proceeding with caution. “What do you mean?” 

“We’ll get some dinner to go and we’ll head back to my house here in Amity.” Vlad said. “And i’ll show you my own ghost form.” 

“Yours…” Daniel sounded winded. “When did you…?” 

“Long before you were born.” 

“My parents…?” 

Vlad just tsked. “They were dear to me once, Daniel, but they are fools. No, they don’t know about me, and i will not tell them about you.” 

“Don’t.” Daniel said, somewhere between agreeing and begging Vlad to mean what he said. The tremor in his voice told Vlad all he needed to know. He was well aware of how his parents would react. He was afraid. 

“It will stay between us.” Vlad said calmly. “I won’t ask. It’s breaking all kinds of ghost etiquette to be so nosy but if you ever want to talk to me about what happened, you can. I can also help you adjust.” 

“Can you?” Daniel asked immediately, the closest he’d come to admitting Vlad was right. 

“I’ve never had to teach anyone to use ghost powers before, but yes, I think i can offer you some insight.” Vlad said. “Falling through floors?” 

“Yes.” Daniel said with feeling. “I keep dropping things. My clothes…” 

Vlad nodded along, all of it sounding familiar. “I know all about it. You just need to get used to it. Gain control over what you can do.”

Daniel swallowed, looking like he’d have a meltdown any second. “You promise?” 

“I do.” 

He inhaled slowly. “I…died.” 

“Yes,” Vlad said softly. “I’m so sorry…” 

“You’re…” He watched Daniel’s expression crumble. He didn’t have to ask why. How did you mourn your death when you were still half alive? It had taken Vlad years… “Sorry.” 

“So sorry, my boy.” Vlad said, sounding choked up. “It never should have happened. Not to someone else. Not to you.” 

Daniel bowed his head only seconds before he started to sob. It didn’t matter why. Was it stress? Was he starting the process of mourning? Was it the knowledge that he’d lost a piece of his family? It didn’t actually matter… 

Vlad leaned closer as far as he comfortably could in the car and pulled Daniel to cry against his shoulder. It was all the comfort he could really offer. He couldn’t make it better, he could only put a band-aid on it. He couldn’t change the Fenton’s minds. Not for Daniel and not for himself. They were always going to be in danger, but he could listen. He could be everything for Daniel he didn’t have. He could let the boy cry. He was only fourteen. 

God, at least Vlad had been in college. Daniel was a child… 

“Does your sister have any idea?” 

Daniel shook his head, hiccuping in an effort to catch his breath but he just cried still. 

“At least she’s still safe. You and i will work up a few safety protocols and… i’ll stay in Amity Park.” The castle in Wisconsin had really been the height of his arrogance. 

There was so much to teach the boy. Not just how to use his powers but ghost manners and taboos. He’d learned a lot himself in the last few years of having his portal up and running. Access to the Ghost Zone had made things a great deal easier on him. 

Daniel wrapped his arms around him, clinging in a way he hadn’t since he was a much younger child. He hadn’t had any time at all to come to terms with his own death, but this was a start. 

If Vlad needed to cook up a few excuses for getting him away from his parents, well… he’d been bored anyway.

Master List

~ It'll hit differently when Skulker shows up to hunt the halfa welp and is instead met with a fully grown, pissed off halfa in mama bear mode.

[the-irreverend]

The Inferno Theory: The Chara Theory to End All Chara Theories

Here we are! Nine years of Undertale. And seeing how Chara is heavily associated with the number 9 (AND THAT TOBY FOX FINALLY TALKED ABOUT THEM), I can't think of a better way to celebrate the occasion than by dedicating this 5000-word-long theory about them? Y'all remember when people used to make long-ass theories about Chara? Yeah, they're coming back with a vengeance! To say I have a colossal hyperfixation is a massive understatement. No character in all of fiction has had a bigger impact on my life than this little rose-cheeked, cocoa-addicted freak. I’ve been a Chara fan for as long as I’ve been an Undertale fan, and you can bet that my understanding of them has changed a lot since. And now I have the pleasure of sharing said understandings with y’all!

Once upon a time, there was an aroace autistic who, like most of y’all, had a very unhealthy obsession with Undertale. And unlike most of you, he thought the Genocide Route was really fun. Most fans talk about how unhappy they felt killing everyone, but for me, I felt like a polar bear at a baby harp seal convention. I got a disturbing level of happiness out of turning everyone to dust. Hell, the only unhappiness I felt was when I couldn’t turn Monster Kid to dust.

Oh well, at least I got a good consolation prize!

I was one sadistic son of a gun, and so I was even more delighted to find out I had a secret admirer/partner-in-crime and that they joined in on the fun because I was such a goshdarn inspiration to them. Not wishing to disappoint my self-appointed partner, I erased the world without a second thought, eagerly awaiting what we might get to do together.

So you can guess I was pretty taken aback when, instead of a warm welcome, they started lecturing me about how I couldn’t accept the world’s destruction and that I was the one fully responsible for it (even though they were eager to take credit for it earlier). I didn’t think much of it at first. Initially, I just thought that they were just irritated that I was undoing what we had worked so hard to accomplish.

But as this game taught me time after time, you should never trust your first impressions. Those first impressions would crumble to dust when they said this.

To say I was completely baffled is an understatement. Why the hell would this prepubescent genocidal maniac be so obsessed over whether or not I think I’m above consequences? So obsessed to the point they would tell me to go to hell if I told them no? It was at that moment I realized there was something more to this character than meets the eye. But for a long time, I couldn’t seem to figure out what that something was. And it didn’t seem like anyone could figure that out either.

I’m very much a veteran of the fan wars that have emerged surrounding Chara. In fact, one might even say I am a deserter of sorts, as I am a former member of the Chara Defence Squad, Offense Squad, and Neutralist Squad. But I’m not gonna be a stuck-up and say everyone’s a canon-ignoring idiot except for me and that I’m the only one who knows what Toby Fox intended Chara to be. Even though I ended up with a very different take than yours (and will certainly argue why it’s the best), I owe you all your discussions a huge debt, and I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t gotten invested in your interpretations, to begin with. Not to mention that, contrary to what some may argue, you’ve made some valid points to complement them.

And while the debate that resulted from Chara’s ambiguous morality has led to a lot of controversy and even toxicity, it has also been a source of some FANTASTIC CONTENT. Like seriously, would we have gotten those badass renditions of Stronger Than You if no one thought Chara was an awful person? Would we have gotten Man on the Internet’s beautiful rendition of Star if no one thought Chara was a good person (turned awful)?

It would be utter hypocrisy for me to ask of you to approach me and my arguments (or anyone who accepts them) with understanding and good faith only to then not do the same to anyone who doesn’t agree with me. In this theory, I will definitely argue why some points made about Chara are flawed; points that you might hold yourself. But that doesn’t automatically mean that you (or your takes) are intellectually or morally inferior to mine. And besides, I’m not Toby Fox.

So with that said, why did I eventually came to disagree with pretty much everyone about Chara? Because, one way or another, I couldn’t find a take that clicked with me personally as I felt there were various inconsistencies and issues holding them back. I looked at YouTube videos, subreddits, Tumblr essays, Twitter threads, and even forums on the Steam Community. But I couldn’t really find what I thought were satisfactory answers to the questions I had about Chara’s motivations, role in the game, and relationship with the player.

And then, one day, I found those answers. It all happened when I asked myself: “What if Chara didn’t turn against me… because they were always against me from the start?!”

I don’t mean that Chara only saw you as a means to an end. I mean that YOU were the end. What if Chara didn’t use you so they could screw over the monsters but they used the monsters so they could screw over YOU.

You probably think I’m insane, don’t you? And you’re right! I AM INSANE! AND SO IS THIS WHOLE DAMN THEORY!!! But somehow, someway, it just works!! And I’ll show you why and how!!!

What you are about to read is the culmination of six years of reading and critiquing Chara takes and theories of every kind and quality, whether it be Judgement Boy’s Who is the Real Villain of Undertale to Wandydoodles’ Oblivion Theory. Six years of examining the arguments and counterarguments of Chara defenders, offenders, and neutralists alike. Six years of looking in every corner of the UTDR fandom. From the tranquil lands of Quora. To the dark recesses of Reddit. To the intellectual wastelands of Twitter. To the fiery hellsite of Tumblr. So, without further ado, get ready for some of the most pure, unadulterated, high-octane, universe-collapsing neurodivergence you’ve ever seen in your life!!!!!

Part 1: The demonic heritage of the "demon who comes when people call its name".

Have you ever had one of those moments where you’ve asked yourself, “What the actual hell is this guy talking about?” I bet you’re having that moment right now. Everything about their character post-death, including their motives, their methods, and their relationship with you, is perfectly reflected in one of their most famous (or rather infamous) lines:

When most people hear the word demon, the first thing that comes to mind is a being made of pure evil whose only purpose in life is to destroy all things good in the world. Right?

Well, yes, but actually, no. It’s a little more complicated than that. To argue that Chara is a demon because they’re simply “an evil little twerp that enjoys being evil” doesn’t do them or their role in Undertale justice (although that hasn’t stopped people from trying to argue that). To understand why calling themselves a demon is EXTREMELY important, we need to dive into the wonderful (and totally not controversial) world of religious beliefs!

In ancient and modern religions, demons are a little more complex than just ethereal jackasses with a vendetta against virtue and righteousness. Though they vary from faith to faith, most demons have a specific set of qualities and tropes that make them integral to whatever faith they’re in. You also see these demonic qualities in fiction that’s derived or inspired by religions, and since Undertale’s lore and worldbuilding have a heavy emphasis on the spiritual and divine, you can see them in Chara. Since Undertale is a game of “Western” origin, you can definitely see they share qualities that are all too familiar with devils of “Western” religions. In classic devil fashion, they target those with weak integrities or suspect morals; they tempt you with the promise of fulfilling your desires at your and everyone else’s expense; they’re able to control your body as you grow their power through your sins, and hell, they even do the thing where they make a deal for your soul. Also...

But though it's evident that Chara encourages you to do “evil,” THEY THEMSELVES are not responsible for it. Yes, Chara encouraged you to kill, but YOU are the one who acted on those encouragements. In fact, YOU are the one who encouraged THEM to help you out! They walked down the dark path with you, but you didn’t really give them anywhere else they could walk. You had all the power and every chance to turn back and no reason to keep walking. And yet you persisted.

But that does beg the question, why did you walk it at all? What could possibly inspire you to give all of these characters happiness, satisfaction, and peace and then rip it all away? Because you decided that giving everyone the most satisfying ending was not satisfying enough for you. Because there was more that you could experience for yourself, even if it meant making everyone else experience something absolutely horrific. It wasn’t enough for you to fill the glass only halfway. You needed to fill it to the brim. You wanted to reach the absolute. Even if doing the Genocide Run was a bad experience for you, you CANNOT deny it was a fulfilling one. And Chara knows it, too. It ain’t exactly a coincidence that fulfillment and fullness are recurring motifs in Chara’s character.

Like all demons, Chara is able to tempt the wicked and sinful by targeting our greatest weaknesses and deficiencies. It’s no different from how Succubi and Incubi target those who succumb to the sin of lust. That’s why you won’t go after my aroace ass anytime soon. But I digress.

But Chara doesn't just tempt us by exploiting our need to fill the glass to the brim but also because of how they exploit the satisfaction we get from watching it fill up, that is to say, the satisfaction that comes from trying to achieve fulfillment.

We humans are addicted to progression as much as we are to completion, and in an RPG like Undertale, the satisfaction of progression comes in the form of NUMBERS. Not just the numbers that flash on the screen when you battle enemies but also the ones that go up when you finish said enemies off, whether it be your hit points, experience points, and so on. And Undertale isn’t any ordinary RPG; it’s one where its RPG elements are interwoven into the fabric of the game’s universe. Because of that, Chara is able to use these elements in their world to influence those outside of it.

But Chara does not just influence us through the numbers that increase but also the ones that decrease. That’s why the first thing they do when we reach Snowdin is give us a tally. 

It’s not just there to measure progress. It’s also there to incentivize us to keep progressing. It gives us a small dose of satisfaction that’s enough to distract us from the mundanity and misery of the murder run, like a loading bar on a loading screen. And just like with loading screens, the farther it progresses, the harder it gets to turn away. Why would you want all the lives you’ve taken and the stats you’ve gained to amount to nothing? Why would you want to hit reset and go through those brutal fights with Sans and Undyne again? You can’t empty out the glass, not when you’re that much closer to filling it to the brim. Speaking of Sans and Undyne, it’s quite interesting that even though they barely know you, they know exactly why you won’t take your foot off the pedal, so to speak.

But that’s not the only thing driving you, isn’t it? Chara knows that there was something else that was spurning you along. Something more powerful and more dangerous than your addiction to progression and completion: PRIDE. 

Perhaps the real reason you kept giving in to sin until it was far too late was because you didn’t think it would be too late. You didn’t hold back because you thought you would be able to go back. You thought you could just absolve your sins with the press of a button like you did in countless worlds before. You thought you could dive in, touch the bottom, and come back out of the water. But what were you getting into? How deep would you have gone? And would you have gone in if you knew you couldn’t possibly return? You know you wouldn’t. And Chara knows it, too. That brings us back to the dialogue I showed you at the beginning of this theory. The one said changed everything I knew about this character, and I firmly believe that this is the MOST important line of dialogue in the entire franchise.

PART 2: THE PART WHERE I (PRETEND TO) DESTROY 9 YEARS OF ESTABLISHED FANON!

When I say that that little blurb about being above consequences is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL, I do not say that lightly. It isn’t just important to Chara's character, but the game of Undertale as a whole! Anyone who’s serious about Chara’s character should never take this for granted because Chara sure as hell does not.

It’s not just our refusal to accept the world’s destruction that’s a huge-ass deal to Chara; it’s the arrogance and complacency that accompanies it, rooted in the position and privileges we have as the player. It matters to them so much that they’re willing to completely forgo bartering for our soul (which they say they want) if we don’t admit that we have that belief!

And yet, despite Chara taking this subject so seriously, the people who are analyzing their character ironically don’t. Generally speaking, most people simply brush this line off as nothing more than something they do to help them on their quest to achieve their goals. So, with that said, let’s talk about what those supposed goals actually are.

In all my years of reading and assessing countless Chara theories and interpretations, I’ve discovered that everyone actually agrees on what Chara's goals are. They just can’t agree on why they want them. Said goals are A) reach the absolute, B) max out their numbers/power, C) erase the world, and/or D) eradicate all monsters. But what if it’s actually the other way around? What if those things were the means to an end rather than the ends themselves?

What if the true goal of the “demon who comes when people call its name” was just like that of the demons of old: not to be your partner in crime, but to torment and punish you for your crimes? To make you face CONSEQUENCES!

I’m not making this argument simply because it makes Chara look more badass (though I think it totally does, lol). I firmly believe that Undertale’s post-Genocide content is written so that Chara’s character can only make sense if that was Chara’s goal from start to finish. Because if Chara’s endgame was any of those four I mentioned earlier, their character kinda falls apart because they're awfully inconsistent about fulfilling them. And those inconsistencies are evident in the Second Geno Ending.

Discrepancy 1) They say they will “appear time and time again” to help us “eradicate the enemy and become strong,” and yet they call us perverted for eradicating everyone time and time again.

You can argue that they didn’t want us to recreate the world in the first place and just move on to another world, but if so, why let us come back at all? And if it’s to get our soul, why do they keep around this world after we have it? This leads us to...

Discrepancy 2) They tell us to ERASE the world and move on to the next, and yet they allow us to restore it without a hitch after we give them our SOUL, seeing how there’s no black void when we start the game again.

If Chara was powerless to stop us from coming back, this wouldn’t be such a big deal. But they CLEARLY DEMONSTRATE that they’re able to stop the player from restoring the world, as seen in the first post-genocide ending. And yet they don’t use this power after the first time the world is erased (WHICH YOU WOULD THINK THEY WOULD WANT TO USE SINCE THEY WANT TO ERASE THE WORLD AND MOVE ON TO ANOTHER)! Seeing how the world is back again without us doing anything makes the restoration of the world like something that Chara CHOSE ON THEIR OWN VOLITION. And what makes this all the more damning is...

Discrepancy 3) They tell us they’re down bad for increasing our ATK, DEF, EXP, and LV to the max and erasing the world and everyone in it, and yet they TELL US TO DEVIATE FROM THE ONLY ROUTE THAT ACCOMPLISHES THAT (which, as stated before, they call us perverse for doing it again).

So, let me get something straight. You tell us you want to ”eradicate the enemy” and “ erase this pointless world,” and yet not only are you allowing us to undo all of that, you want us to do something INSTEAD OF THAT??? It’s funny how you lecture us about how we cannot accept the world’s destruction BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, YOU WON’T EITHER!!!!! Also, before I forget...

Discrepancy 4)

WHAT KIND OF MISANTHROPE DEDICATES THEIR WHOLE LIFE TO WIPING OUT HUMANITY, GETS GIFT-WRAPPED A CHANCE TO DO THAT, AND THEN JUST PASSES IT UP?!?!?!

On behalf of misanthropes everywhere, I am DEEPLY disappointed in you!

So it doesn’t matter if you believe Chara is always evil, good, or detached from morality entirely. Because Chara has the same goal across all versions, they all succumb to the same inconsistencies!

Funny how most people see them as this embodiment of the addictive nature of levelling up and consuming everything in a piece of media and all that jazz WHEN THEY SEEM TO CASUALLY GIVE UP ON IT!!!!!!

And if you argue they want a Soulless Pacifist Run when they suggest “another path,” then ask yourself, what does that give them that a Genocide Run doesn’t? Keep in mind, aside from a scribbled-out photograph, we don’t see how many monsters or humans they killed besides the main characters or how much power and stats they gained from it. And it’s not like we see them erase the world afterward since only the genocide run has that infamous wall of red 9s. Not to mention, the genocide run is the most secure way of accomplishing their goals since they have the backing of the player. Not only that, but it’s also the safest and most efficient way to erase everyone and increase stats to the fullest, and we all know how Chara feels about efficiency.

So Chara has no reason to pick the Soulless pacifist ending over the Genocide Run if they want to achieve their end of increasing numbers and consuming the world… unless those things were a means to an end rather than ends themselves.

Indeed it is coming together! That’s the other reason their statement, “You think you’re above consequences,” is so damn important! They’re not telling us why we sinned, but it reveals they intend to make us suffer for those sins, and how.

That’s why Chara is seemingly so inconsistent about erasing the world. Because it was never about the world. It was all about YOU.

[SIDE NOTE: I’m sure many of you will point out that if Chara wanted us to get a Soulless ending in this world, then why would they encourage us to “move on to the next?” I don’t think this is too big an issue for two reasons. First, this line is meant to emphasize that, like all demons, Chara is inescapable and that no matter what world you go to (within their own universe), Chara will always follow you now that you’ve unleashed them. Second, because their goal concerns us and not the world they’re a part of, their character avoids the aforementioned inconsistencies that hamper the other Chara theories much more severely, in my opinion.]

Part 3: Contrapasso

Now I’m sure some of y’all might think that Chara doesn’t need to yearn for our torment to achieve the impact of the Soulless ending and that just because Chara is a demon doesn’t automatically mean they need to screw us over. You are right in that not everyone who makes a Faustian Bargain needs to have malicious intentions toward the people they’re taking advantage of (Kuybey from Madoka Magica is a great example of that). But Chara does need it! Not only does it make their character more narratively cohesive, but also makes their character more thematically impactful. And it’s more in tune with their demonic nature for them to want to torment us.

Because demons represent something more terrifying than evil itself. They represent the terrible price of embracing it, a price that all evildoers fear more than anything, and that all demons want seek to inflict upon us. Like most demons, Chara isn’t encouraging us to sin to fill the emptiness in our soul (or even their own). They did it to perpetuate that torturously empty and unfulfilled state for all eternity, a state which even themselves now endure.

Now, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve talked a lot about the themes of fulfillment and emptiness, and it’s for a good reason since those themes are heavily featured in Undertale. I mean, how could it not? Because concepts of demons, hell, and sins (which are explicitly mentioned in the game) are deeply intertwined with the concept of emptiness. The theologian Thomas Aquinas once defined evil as not a presence but as an absence (of that which is good). Darkness is the absence of light; war is the absence of peace; bigotry is the absence of tolerance; pride is the absence of humility, etc. You see this reflected in not just Christian theology but also fiction as a whole, as a lot of villains are motivated by a desire to obtain something that they believe can’t be without. Whether it be wealth, status, recognition, power, the death of an individual, or even just sadistic pleasure.

Since demons are beings that are inseparable from evil itself, the life of a demon is forever cursed by unceasing and unbearable emptiness. Hell, the word damnation originated from the Latin word damnum, which literally means loss! They’re not exactly partying in hell while your immortal soul is being slow-roasted for eternity. They’re burning in that lake of fire and brimstone along with you! They can’t end their damnation, not because they don’t want to but because they simply can’t. They’re fated to be bereft of the satisfaction or fulfillment found in Heaven or Earth, a fate that is worse than death in every sense of the word, especially since they can’t experience death anymore. Because of that, a demon embodies what is perhaps the most terrifying form of evil of all: not one rooted in a desire to rid the emptiness and unfulfillment within themselves, but a desire to inflict them upon others. Because as a wise philosopher once said:

We see this horrific state of mutually assured suffering everywhere across fiction. From goofy, lighthearted tokusatsu's...

...to nightmarish sci-fi dystopias...

...to a little indie game made 9 years ago.

Oh yeah. Don’t think I was gonna talk about emptiness without mentioning everyone’s favourite homicidal fauna-turned-flora, especially not with lines like this.

Take one to know one! And it can’t be a coincidence that the game emphasizes the theme of emptiness when giving the spotlight to the three characters that have committed the most “evil”: Flowey/Asriel, Chara, and YOU.

Quite the unholy trinity going on here, eh? It truly is fascinating how the emptiness led us to work with each other to exterminate all monsters. And it’s also interesting how the unique kind of emptiness we have eventually led us to work against each other. Whether it be Flowey wishing to preserve his sentimentality for his long-gone sibling, us players wanting to maintain our (perverted) sentimentality for the world of Undertale, or Chara weaponizing these sentimentalities to exact their misanthropic hatred.

Remember how I said that Chara was a lousy misanthrope because they keep letting us bring back the humans they wanted annihilated when they were alive? That does make them a lousy misanthrope… unless their misanthropy found a higher priority target: YOU!!!!! Chara’s desire to torment us didn’t come out of thin air. The same hatred that drove them to wipe out the humans of their world years ago is the same hatred that’s driving them to get at the humans of our world, even if it means destroying those who once embraced them. And now, that hatred is more potent and destructive than ever before, so much so that it’s no wonder Toriel was able to feel it when she endured that fatal blow after the Geno Run began.

Do you think witnessing what soullessness did to sweet little Asriel wasn’t already terrifying and tragic enough? Just try to imagine what it could‘ve done to a vengeful, traumatized, chocolate-addicted problem child so consumed by hatred that they poisoned themselves just for a chance to wipe out their own kind. All of that hatred of humanity is still alive and well, and now it has no humanity to hold it back. 

And what could be a more fitting target for a MISANTHROPE that calls themselves a DEMON… than a HUMAN that wants to play GOD?

After all, the only thing demons love more than tormenting mortals is warring with Gods.

Why else do you think that Chara winks right at you if we make Frisk stay with Toriel? Because that’s who the Soulless Ending was meant for. It’s when they’re finally able to unleash all that animosity and hatred that’s been lurking behind that smile ever since we killed everyone in the Ruins. It’s the moment that they’ve been patiently waiting for because they knew that’s when it would hit you the hardest.

And what makes the Soulless Pacifist Ending very special compared to other “bad endings” isn’t simply because they destroy those we pretend to care about (may I remind you that you did do the genocide run, after all). But they destroy something much more valuable to us as the players: OUR OMNIPOTENCE. Chara doesn’t destroy people for the sake of destroying them. But because in doing so they destroy our arrogant belief that nothing could possibly challenge the invisibility and invulnerability we players take for granted.

It's all too human that those with the most power are the least willing to lose it (or even take responsibility for it). And in a world where we should have absolute power, we thought there would be no consequences for abusing it. So what could be a more fitting and frightful punishment than having to actually face them? Missing out on the best ending in a video game is one thing. But to forever lose the power to achieve it ever again?! Now that’s terrifying!

Throughout myth, legend, and religion, sinners are often punished in a way befitting of the sin they’ve committed. In Greek Mythology, Tantalus was damned for trying to feed the Gods the flesh of his murdered son with eternal hunger and thirst despite being within arm’s reach of water and food. In Dante’s Inferno, those who succumb to wrath are forever doomed to fight each other in a river of mud. And since Undertale is no stranger to concepts such as hell, sins, and demons, you can damn well be sure that there’s going to be damnation fitting for the sins that drove you to complete the genocide run.

You completed the Genocide Run because you believed ending their lives would be fulfilling. Now, you can no longer get any fulfillment out of saving their lives.

I mean, where else can you get your precious fulfillment? Those paltry neutral endings? They only offer a fraction of what the pacifist ending offered. And the genocide ending has been drained of its satisfaction like the pacifist! Would you do all that tedious grinding and brutal boss fights just to hear your so-called “partner” lecture you again on perverted sentimentality and say you should choose another path, even though there’s nothing that they could offer? Of course not. In the end, you’re just like poor Tantalus agonizing in the pits of Tartarus, feeling the water vanish from his hands just before it touches his lips.

The ultimate triumph of Chara isn’t making you suffer a total defeat, but perhaps something much worse to you as a gamer: a pyrrhic victory. It’s like having a Twinkie that's been drained of the creamy center. Everything is still there except the thing you treasure most. You’re damned to play a challenge forever deprived of any and all fulfillment you once got from it, a satisfying journey that will always be doomed to reach a dissatisfying destination.

In the end, Chara leaves you with the world exactly as they described it the first time they met you face-to-face: POINTLESS.

You can have the world exactly as it was before (and the people within it). But in the end, Chara will always have the last laugh.

Figuratively and literally.

Welcome to hell!

Part 4: Why Consequences Matter

Woooooo!!! Man, that was quite the read, wasn’t it? And yeah, I wasn't kidding when I said this is going to be autistic as all hell! I don’t doubt you have a lot of thoughts in your mind, and then you’re gonna share them by the time you’re finished reading this post. Some of you might think this is the Chara theory to end Chara theories. Some of you believe that this is the worst thing that has happened to this fandom since Sebastian Wolff. Some of y’all, I’m whitewashing them because I argue they’re driven by a desire to punish the wicked by any means necessary. Some will think I’m demonizing them because I say that they’re, well, a demon. 

[SIDE NOTE: Just so I don’t miscommunicate what I believe about Chara’s morality, here are some key points to take away from this theory. A) Chara sought to make you pay for the evil you committed. In fact, the idea that the Soulless Ending is Chara punishing our sins has been around for a while, especially by those who think Chara was “corrupted. B) However, in this theory, Chara's actions are all done with the intent of accomplishing that goal. This means that Chara was aware of what they were doing, they wanted to do it, and that THEY KNEW IT WAS EVIL. C) But you still have to remember that Chara is also A LITERAL CHILD. And D) They’re a child who endured a great deal of hardship (and possibly trauma), which made them so embittered and vengeful. Also, E) Remember that they’re also soulless, just like Asriel when he was Flowey.]

But I think most of you were gonna look at this interpretation of Chara and feel the same thing that I have about most of yours: a take that’s not without issues, but not without a fair bit of interesting points.

But regardless of what you think of this theory overall, there’s one thing I won’t leave up for debate: I deeply treasure Chara’s character. Not just because I think they’re fun, cool, or interesting but also because I firmly believe they’re invaluable Undertale. And yet, at the same time, I think they’re severely undervalued by the fandom. And who can blame them?

The characters of Undertale speak very little of Chara, and Chara speaks for themselves even less. But just like Johan Liebert from the anime Monster, even though they’re not seen too often, they still manage to exert a massive presence and impact within Undertale’s narrative. And that presence is made all the more impactful because they perfectly represent the themes of the narrative: and that theme is CONSEQUENCES, or more accurately, the CONSEQUENCES OF VIOLENCE.

From the violence that drove Chara to climb Mt Ebott to the violence their brother Asriel inflicted in hopes of being with them forever. From something as grand as a war between two civilizations to something as small as dismembering a snowman. Everywhere you look, you will see that violence (and its repercussions) haunts the story and characters of Undertale. But what makes Undertale stand out from other media that tackles this subject is that it’s not just an integral part of its narrative but also its metanarrative. The most ingenious way it does this is by giving meaning to the actions/mechanics that we take for granted, specifically monster encounters.

Our Lord and Saviour Toby Fox said it best:

Because the monsters of Undetale are treated as something more than just enemies to be killed, there are going to be consequences for choosing to kill them away. Some argue that it goes too far in how it admonishes you for killing even a single monster, even to the point of being preachy (I’m looking at you, ScottFalco, but that’s a response for another day).

That argument is deeply flawed because it fails to account for the fact that without these ramifications, the game’s themes would be rendered null and void. The last thing that a game with a narrative centred around the consequences of violence can afford to do is afford you the luxury of avoiding them. And that principle especially applies if you dare to choose nothing BUT violence. //////If you were to bring them all back as if nothing happened, then your decision to commit genocide would be completely meaningless, which would totally disservice Undertale themes regarding violence. There needs to be consequences. LASTING CONSEQUENCES. Undertale can’t drive home its messages and them without lasting consequences. Undertale can’t deliver those consequences without Chara in the driver’s seat. And Chara’s character can only be at their most narratively cohesive and thematically impactful if seeking to make us suffer consequences was their intended destination.

Regardless of whatever detail about Chara you’re discussing or what side of the discussion you’re on, one thing is very clear: they’re absolutely essential to Undertale in the same way that Mephistopheles is essential to Faust, the Cenobites are essential to Hellraiser, and Kuybey is essential to Madoka Magica. And they’re the only ones with the means, motives, and deep-seated misanthropy to hold this whole damn game together.

Sans is right. We deserve to be burning in hell for what we did to those poor monsters. And I can't think of anyone more qualified to have us humans “burning in hell” than a self-proclaimed demon with a seething hatred of humanity.

And how fitting is it that the skeleton who judges our sins is followed by a human child who punishes us for them?

BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST A THEORY!

A CHARA THEORY!

THANKS FOR READING!

[nartml]

I get that THW was going for a sobering message of "sometimes you have to let people go" and "some friends can't stay forever", but it was hilariously unsuccessful.

It's still baffling to me, the amount of raving reviews calling it "the perfect ending".

Apart from the wild thematic inconsistencies, and the endless flaws with Hiccup's logic of "oh, yeah, I know that things have never before been this good for dragons, I know that Berk is living proof that even the most stubborn people can change their minds on dragons, I know that dragons thrive on companionship and love their humans, I know that good people exist, I know that I'm the instigator of a huge revolutionary period, butttttt..... because bad humans exist I'll lock away the entirety of the draconic population in a glorified underground cage, in the hopes that one day humans will stop being bad and learn to cooperate with the creatures that they question, or even forget, the existence of a measly decade after their disappearance. Magically.", this message plainly didn't fit.

Not just in a thematic context. I mean that it literally doesn't fit in this situation, and it doesn't fit the characters.

It doesn't even fit reality, because you have to let go of people for reasons. Some friends can't stay forever, for reasons.

Valid ones. Reasons like, you grew apart, you don't have shared interests anymore, they betrayed you in an unforgivable way, they're not good for you, they're not good to you, they died, etc etc.

Had any one of these happened? At any stage? The one thing you could, albeit pointlessly, argue is that they grew apart. That they outgrew each other.

Only that...they didn't? Did I miss something? Because Toothless flying away for, what, a day to spend some time with his love interest, is not outgrowing. Toothless finding romance does not mean that he and Hiccup grew apart.

And this isn't just about the Light Fury. I'm not discussing whether or not she's a good character (she isn't), and I'm not discussing whether or not she deserves Toothless (Ha, you're funny). Even if she were the absolute best, most perfect match for Toothless and a compelling character, it still wouldn't even remotely mean that he and Hiccup grew apart.

In fact, if you grow so far apart from your best friend that you can say goodbye to them forever, just because you found a new partner, then I really don't know what to tell you. (Except that you're probably not a good friend.)

Hiccup realizing that Toothless doesn't make him who he is, and doesn't define him, that he doesn't need Toothless in order to be someone, or even that he doesn't need Toothless at all, doesn't mean that he outgrew him. Not even slightly.

I mean, come on, I don't need the vast majority of people in my life. Arguably, I might not even need any of the people in my life. This doesn't mean I don't want them there.

This doesn't mean that I won't fight for them to stay right here, by my side.

Oh, look, how's that for a change? How about a movie where your friends refuse to leave you? Because that's what I want, and that's what How To Train Your Dragon deserved.

That's what Hiccup, and the rest of the Berkians, deserved. And that's what fit. That's what thematically fit, what fit reality, or at least the httyd reality, and what fit the characters themselves.

This movie treated the dragons as mindless pets, whereas in every other step of the way, they were treated as people.

Toothless isn't a just slobbery puppy.

Toothless is intelligent, curious, kind, understanding, funny, snarky and sarcastic, graceful, elusive, protective, loving, wary, and fucking loyal (plus much more).

I can't think of a character that has demonstrated as much loyalty and protectiveness as this guy.

And yet he was barely any of the aforementioned things in thw. He became unrecognizable.

All the dragons became unrecognizable, for no justifiable reason.

The final message shouldn't have been that your friends sometimes have to leave you, and that you have to let them go.

(The humans left the dragons just as much as the dragons left the humans btw)

It should've been that they'll fight tooth and nail to stay, even when the going gets tough, even when priorities shift, even when you tell them to go.

No matter how passionately you insist that caring for you is rotten work.

It's not to them.

[wanderingaldecaldo]

An open letter to the Cyberpunk fandom in general, and a few people in particular

It’s time to clear the air, and I want to take responsibility where appropriate.

Before we get into the recent drama, a history lesson is in order, both for the newer people in fandom and for those who have been around and just haven’t heard things from my side. This might be long with all the linked posts, so buckle up.

I don’t talk much to people about my experiences in fandom for several reasons — first, I don’t like to talk about others with people I don’t know; gossiping with friends is one thing, but otherwise it’s an undesirable trait. Because I’m human and fallible and absolutely capable of failing to meet my own standards, I have violated that rule, and it rarely does anything good. Second, even when I do share, people don’t tend to believe me because the responsible party, PinkyDude (PKD), has been “so nice” to them. “Surely there was a misunderstanding” is the most common response. 

No, there’s been no misunderstanding. He has harassed me repeatedly, both directly and indirectly, and has deleted most of the posts he’s made or reblogged from his friends/mutuals/followers that would serve as proof of this harassment. I could dig up old screenshots that people sent or I saved myself after being told of a post’s existence, but honestly I don’t want to go through that dreck again; my mental health is worth more to me than that. Instead I’ll present in my own words what happened to me over the last three years. I have spoken publicly about him three times before now — four if you count my response to the anon, which never referenced him or his ship. All of those posts are still visible and will be linked. I told you this would be a long read, but you need the context.

I joined Tumblr in spring/early 2021, back when I only wrote fic and played on console. PKD blocked me the first time I posted my fic, as is his right. As I was new to Tumblr, I didn’t understand the Tumblr app was actually telling me I was blocked whenever I clicked on the links on Discord, so I thought it was just bad software. Spoiler: it’s still bad software (affectionate). When I found out I was blocked, I was upset; I didn’t know about RSD at the time. I sent one anon asking why he blocked people; I was just a lowly AO3 author and he was the big, popular modder, and I was baffled and very upset and should have closed the browser, to be honest. He answered and explained why he blocked people (totally valid!! I will continue to emphasize that!) and shared how blocked people could still view his blog in a number of ways. Honestly, it was too much work for me to go through all of those steps, so I moved on with my life.

Not long after, he did unblock me for a few weeks and posted how someone had shown him how to filter posts. He messaged me to tell me I was unblocked, and we exchanged a few courteous messages. I believe I asked if it would be okay if I followed him. I know he expressed concern about me feeling discomfort at his ship. I don’t remember my exact response but I said I thought they were cute. That was the whole point of me joining fandom — I want to share love for blorbos! Things were civil, as far as I knew, though based on his comments later, it seems he and I had two completely different experiences. Where I believed I was polite and tried to be respectful to someone who had established boundaries, he accused me of being spiteful and vengeful. Soon after I started taking my own VP (with Mitch) he blocked me again. He sent a message to apologize that he needed to do it, and made a vague post that was directed to me, I assume, as it was something like “Sorry I tried” or whatever, and I moved on with my life, or tried. I still saw his Mitch pics in Discord servers when people shared them, though I saw fewer that were just Mitch alone.

The first time I spoke about PKD was Fall 2021, during the “not PKD approved” debacle, where someone (a follower of his! Not my follower! I cannot stress that enough!) reblogged a gif of Val and Mitch with the tag “not PKD approved.” I shared a screenshot with friends because, uh, that’s what you do, right? That’s what anyone would do — share a screenshot of an offensive tag with friends. One of those friends, a writer who had published Mitch/V on AO3 and also received anon hate on their Mitch fics, thought it was funny and used it for their Discord status. Someone shared that status with PKD, and he made vague accusations about who started the hashtag. 

I publicly defended a person who thought they were being accused, a friend at the time, and made the only statement about him that I regret and would take back — I commented on his propensity for reblogging posts that emphasize having the right to block people. I shouldn’t have said that, it wasn’t appropriate, and I apologize. Of course everyone has the right to block people for whatever reason they want. I disagree with what I said then and retract it now. 

Back to how I was targeted... Remember that it was my post that someone tagged with another person’s name; another person who had me blocked because of their jealousy about seeing anyone else with Mitch. I never named the person who tagged my post, yet I was deemed the perpetrator. Many months later, Zwei DMed me when we shared a small server to offer the most non-apology apology ever for telling people that I started the hashtag. Thanks, Zwei! Almost makes up for the other lies you told about me!

The second time was my response to the anon I got trying to “educate” me after the Pawel stream. I never referenced PKD or his ship. We’ll come back to this more in-depth later because it’s what PKD keeps using to harass me.

The third time I spoke publicly about PKD was when Silvay (sp?) posted first on Twitter, then later Tumblr. I posted a follow up the next day. I debated not saying anything. I’m an avoidant person. I don’t like conflict. I have a loud bark and no bite. My former team members can attest to this. But when I do... I don’t make public statements I’m not willing to defend, which is why everything I have linked is still published.

I do recommend stopping to read the posts linked here, and even the other posts I reblogged at the time from other people who shared their own experiences with PKD and the fandom. As I said, I don’t make public statements I won’t defend; or at least apologize and issue a public retraction. But, if you want to stay with the present and would rather have the TL;DR: I was regularly vagued about by PKD or his friends/followers, calling me transphobic and homophobic; one accused me of corrective rape; and I got tired of it.

I thought that posting publicly might bring some closure. It was cathartic to finally get it out and stop carrying that shame, and it was reassuring to hear from people who had similar experiences. At the same time, quite a few people made their own posts along the lines of “HE WAS ALWAYS NICE TO ME”. 

Oh, but he’s always been nice to me!

Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you truly believe he would be nice to you if you shipped with Mitch. Do you really believe he would? Do you think he would “block and move on” with you, unlike how he did with me?

None of those people shipped with Mitch, or other characters that people in his clique were protective over. A few months later he made a post saying not to tag me with him, and listed off every screenname I had used since I joined fandom, including the very first tumblr name I was assigned in 2021 and kept for several months because I thought it was funny. How’s that for a dog whistle? Want PKD’s attention? Better not tag wash!! [I’m sure there’s a screenshot somewhere but again, I didn’t have the energy to find it.]

By the way, why do I know all this? If I’m blocked, I shouldn’t see anything he posts without circumventing “the system”. We are mutually blocked and I don’t spy on him, or have my friends spy on him. I always knew what was going on because people were always quick to let me know anytime he was vaguing about me. “Friends” who were really concerned about the latest thing he said about me, or thought it was just terrible how people were always attacking my ship and wanted to share that feeling with me, but they only shared those thoughts in private. Slowly I separated myself from people who felt the need to keep me updated on drama, or some of them separated themselves from me and became friends with PKD, to the point that either nothing happened for some time or I just stopped seeing it, at least until last fall.

The last time I talked about him publicly was when I wrote about Fem V Friday in Fall 2023. Through the usual chain of vague posting about vague posts, a third person wrote a vague post and cast aspersions on the origin of Fem V Friday, suggesting it was created out of jealousy. PKD helpfully weighed in about a person named “W”  starting FVF from jealousy and spite, and implied he’s seen things I’ve said about him. I’d love to know what I’ve said, the context in which it was said, and the context in which he was told about what I said. 🤷

My post in response didn’t reference the vague post that spurred its creation, nor what PKD said about me, even though PKD must know my intentions and history better than me. I wrote about my love for Fem V and what drove my continued involvement week to week.

Despite my attempts to keep to my own corner or defend my name, PKD continues to defame and harass me. He has repeatedly dragged other people into his drama, sometimes my friends, just as he did in May when he brought up my anon response again. 

It was over two years ago now that I received the anon to “educate” me on Mitch being gay. I have never believed PKD sent the anon, despite his implications, and I have certainly never told anyone that he did.

Two years ago, a coward came into my inbox on anon and tried to bully me, and instead of spending a day writing five thousand words on “death of the author” and what constitutes canon and refuting the argument that I didn’t want to have, I used that energy to write about my ship in my favorite genre (smut) and published a fic on AO3. Neither my fic nor my response on tumblr referenced Mitch being gay or PKD’s ship. Before we go further, I encourage you to watch the relevant clip from the Pawel stream. It’s only 30 seconds of your time, but those 30 seconds are what PKD and others have used to justify their harassment of me.

The transcript for anyone not inclined to watch:

PKD: Am I right to overanalyze every detail in every place like the gay romance novel in Mitch's tent? Is that intentional? Pawel: My friend, on this stream, you could have learned already that everything is intentional...

The “gay romance novel in Mitch’s tent” is 1000 Beats Per Minute, a shard found all across Night City, nay, the continent as the shard/prop can be found in such locations as All Foods just after you meet Dum Dum, the foot of V’s bed in A10, and So Mi’s Brooklyn apartment. 

The contents of the shard are worth reading, if only for recognizing that the narrator is an ungendered person named “Alex” who is experiencing love for a man for the first time. Is Alex a man or a woman or neither? Whoever they are, Alex is having a queer experience, and to insist that the shard can only be about gay men is to erase a lot of other queer experiences.

Back to my anon response, PKD once again called my response transphobic and homophobic, though I will give him credit for saying he wasn’t calling me trans/homophobic, which is an upgrade from previous posts. He claims that I used the smut that I wrote as my response because I referenced writing “the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could”. I said “pussy eating” not in relation to anything about the claim that Mitch is gay, but as response to the intentions of the anon, which were never good.

The full context of my words: 

Not entirely sure what you were trying to accomplish with this message, anon. Should I pack up my words and keyboard and go home? See if it's too late to return my gaming PC because I can't take screenshots of Mitch anymore? Whatever your goal was, you pushed me to write the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could imagine. You know who wins today? - I do, because I wrote a shitload of words in one day and finished a piece that didn't even exist 8hrs ago - people who want more Fem V/Mitch content do - my meat husband does bc damn, I wrote 1800 words of smut today - not you

PKD is claiming that my description of smut I wrote about my ship is trans/homophobic.

The description of the smut I wrote about a cis bisexual female (Val) whose pussy was eaten by her cis bisexual male partner (Mitch). 

The smut I wrote about my ship, in which no one is trans or gay. 

You cannot apply the lens of PKD’s ship and characters to my writing and call it transphobic or homophobic. That’s not how literary analysis works. That’s not how social justice works.

The truth is that PKD and his mutuals/friends used his ship and beliefs to harass me. 

If that were me and it were my beliefs being used to harass someone on anon, I would demand whoever it was to stop immediately, not only because harassing people over fictional characters is awful and wrong, but good lord, to use me as the excuse? I would be mortified! Instead, PKD and his mutuals/followers used it as evidence of my being a bad person, and after several months of that, I borrowed Silvay’s courage when he posted on Twitter, and shared my own experience.

Now that we have the full background, let’s move on to recent drama and address the Flat Chest body and the wearable pecs mod, and what part I played in the process and when. This next part is for motherherbivore. I wish you had talked to me first. I thought I’d rate high enough for a DM. 

A Brief History of The Flat Chest Body Under Curation of Wash

I reached out to Na in March about helping update the Flat Chest body. I specifically wanted to update it to dynamic to take advantage of AXL’s dynamic clothing and, more importantly to me, reduce the number of clothing overrides I had to install for Hilary; plus I wanted to add toggle feet so I could have better options for shoes. Also I had another OC I’d been kicking around in my head, Grem, that I wanted to make using the flat chest. Grem did debut recently, but he changed drastically from my original vision for him.

Sharing the news with Kitty (shared with permission)

I started working on updating the mod in April but got stuck because I didn’t understand resource patching, even though I was sure it would be easy. :hidethepain: I tried adding the feet too, but everything I did resulted in a seam at the calves. As is all too common with my ADHD, I moved onto something else after getting stuck.

As I mentioned I was interested in dynamic AXL, and wanted to update my custom tee framework for Pride. With dynamic AXL, someone could generate all colors with all logos at once! (220, do not try this at home!) I included the dynamic version of the Flat Chest mesh in the upload to Nexus, even though the Flat Chest body wasn’t ready yet, but as a goal for me to also have it done in June.

I had the UV version working in early June, before the Angel body came out. I don’t remember if we already knew about the body’s existence at that point, but the community outcry against yet another unrealistic and fetishistic body mod sustained me in updating a mod that appealed to a small subset of fandom.

The message I sent to Na the morning I got it working

I got the UV version working first, since that’s what Hilary uses, then took a look at toggle feet again. After further investigation using both UV and VTK bodies, I realized there would always be a seam because the bodies were drastically different from the current body; they were completely different meshes underneath, and the seams would never line up properly. 

At that point I decided to release the functioning dynamic version without toggle feet, as I wanted to get it out for Pride. I reached out to mhb to test, as had always been my intention. For me Sanctuary is the most iconic OC to use the Flat Chest. After some technical difficulties I figured out that she used the vanilla version, and came back a few days later with a functioning vanilla version. I released my update once I had assembled the necessary files and pics from the testers, mhb included.

Later when PKD released the refits for his pecs, someone commented that the vanilla refits worked for the Flat Chest body. That’s been my only interest in his pecs mod — because people who use the Flat Chest were interested in having more clothing options. The release of the so-called “Flat Chest Detector” meant that Flat Chest body users wouldn’t be able to use the clothing refit for his wearable pecs, because it required using his pecs, which clipped with tattoos and cyberware — as is expected because it’s not a body mod, as he himself said on the mod page.

As the representative for the Flat Chest body, I agreed when streetkid-named-desire (Rat) asked me to be involved in the conversation with Berdagon about adapting their “Flat Chest” detector to recognize the Flat Chest body. Rat drove this conversation. I don’t say this to dump responsibility on them. In fact, I visited them last weekend and we talked through the situation. I suggested to Rat that I could have urged them to slow down, but they refused to let me take that responsibility, and at the end of the day they’re right — I can only control my own actions.

I do have one regret and one opportunity where I could have acted differently: when Rat asked Berdagon about the original script, Rat very explicitly asked whether the script was commissioned by PKD, and if so, Rat stated they were willing to pay to make changes; Berdagon never answered the question, and I wish I had pushed for an answer. Perhaps that could have prevented the entire situation; we could have stopped right then. While Berdagon never mentioned payment, Rat was so excited by how quickly they implemented the requested changes that they tipped them for the work.

Berdagon, the original script writer, owed PKD the responsibility to check in before modifying something that PKD paid for. Yes, Berdagon does have responsibility here as a professional who took money for a commission. When they didn’t answer the question, I could have stopped the process and pushed for an answer. I would have stopped things immediately upon hearing the answer that the script had been commissioned by PKD. PKD could still have been outraged at Rat asking for changes, but there wouldn’t have been fandom-wide drama about a body that only a dozen people use.

That’s the responsibility I will take — I, as a professional who works with consultants and freelancers, could have taken steps to ensure that everyone was acting professionally, including the person who received money twice to work on the same script.

Because I feel the need to be thorough in my explanation, here’s a simplified timeline of the release of the Flat Chest mod compared to the wearable pecs:

Late March - I receive files from Na for Flat Chest

April - I get stuck, stop working on it

April-May - I figure out dynamic AXL and convert tee framework

June 3 - I have a working dynamic UV Flat Chest

In response to outcry over the Angel body, PKD makes a poll asking what body types people want refits for and excludes Flat Chest body as an option

In response to people commenting over why Flat Chest wasn’t included, PKD explains he won’t support the body and that he would support a different Flat Chest body if someone made it

June 10 - I share the UV version for testing with several people. Two of those people, including mhb, use vanilla. I didn’t realize that, and because I didn’t name the file `UV` it took a long time to troubleshoot why things weren’t working

PKD releases the pecs

I share vanilla for testing

I post Flat Chest 2.0 before the end of June

I didn’t use you, mhb. I asked you to test because, like I said above and on Nexus, Sanctuary is the Flat Chest character for me. I asked you to test because I make mods for my friends first and foremost, and I thought you were my friend. I thought you were my friend because we’d known each other for several years now, and because of shared experiences and conversations we’ve had. I’ve been wrong before about who is a friend, and this one stings a lot.

I’m tired. I am 30 or 40 (or 50) years old and I do not need this. I have a career and a job I love, and an amazing partner who I’ve been with for a third of my life now. I have friends and hobbies in meatspace and friends who share those hobbies, and the real truth is, if I was actually trans/homophobic, well, that number would be tiny, but it’s not. I have a life that I love and that is full of joy. Most people in fandom only know the smallest fraction of the real wash, and I do not take pleasure in being targeted in a public fandom “feud”.

PKD, I say this with all the kindness I can muster for another human being who is clearly hurting: please get help. Go to therapy or see a psychiatrist or use whatever tools you can access. This obsession you have with me and my ship is not healthy for you, and your repeated pattern of bullying has hurt me and people close to me, just as your need to rehash old fandom drama hurts the community.

[oliviabear]

this 'criticism' shit not being valid criticism is so annoying

i am actually so exhausted by what is being said about amandla right now, especially on twitter concerning their acting and portrayal of osha and mae. someone made a dumbass statement saying the difference between osha and anakin both doing force choke is astounding because osha looks 'emotionless' when she's supposed to be 'at her angriest' meanwhile anakin looks just furious enough.

first of all it's actually insane to even be saying this stuff without context of the situation but i just want to say i'm baffled about this switch up on the prequels lol. remember when everyone had a whole ass hate campaign against hayden saying he can't act? what is all this bullshit now. i am happy hayden is finally getting his flowers but we cannot let this shit just keep happening again and again. especially now with amandla. it's actually really fucked up.

second of all, once again, people are completely disregarding the characters amandla is portraying. osha aniseya revolves around repression. meanwhile mae is all about absolution.

osha is completely emotionally detached from the world, this is quite literally made known in one of her first scenes as she is staring devoid into the fire on the ship, her eyes holding just emptiness. she is a character who is incredibly emotionally shut down for the most port and with reason. she has a lot of trauma stemming from the fact she showed her true emotions and intentions. if she doesn't look angry while killing sol, she is not supposed to. it is meant to be chillingly empty because of her utter detachment from everything even slightly emotional in her life, especially if it has to do with her past. osha has many moments where she shows anger and pain and even this is done in a suppressed way but still extreme enough for you to see the shift. and amandla had done an incredible job with this, storing osha's emotionality in their eyes and micro-expressions and even the way osha carries herself.

which is completely different from how mae carries herself. mae lives with her emotions, she does not hold back. it is clearly visible in all her expressions and how freeing they feel meanwhile for osha it's all about the eyes, like i mentioned, the micro-expressions and the smallest movements signifying enormous character shifts. mae is an emotional character because she needs to be, mae is explosive and acts on impulse, she does not repress her needs. this is so well seen in how she is in her scenes with osha. mae has never been detached from anything like osha has, which is so evident in the way mae acts around both qimir and sol. she's not holding back, she's not a character whose shift and arc rely on an emotional repression in the same way osha's do. mae's arc revolves more around emotional control, if we're gonna speak of it but that wasn't my starting point so.

amandla managed to make them two different people. it's awful to see them being so discredited and criticised. and it's really frustrating when this happens out of context or regard for their emotional character arcs. i just think we need to appreciate acting here more and how incredible amandla is at this craft. mae and osha are different characters. like some of you are moving so weirdly about this, especially the 'osha should be angrier and show it' but i won't say anything further.

amandla is an amazing actor, i think we should all feel lucky they're playing osha and mae and are in the star wars universe!

[agentrouka-blog]

Accidentally stumbled into a Sansa anti (well they call themselves an Arya stan but they apparently think those things go hand in hand)blog and am now baffled and a little disgusted at the amount of vitriol these people have for..a little girl, honestly they had reblogged a post about how Arya being believed to be a hostage to Ramsay galvanised so many people in the North, etc and the difference between that and Sansa being the Lannisters hostage/Tyrions bride, and like..so this little girls life being worthless to these men (whether that's true or not) is somehow validation for you? Honestly it's a little disturbing (there's also a pattern of most of them hating Alicent as well which seems..meaningful)

Ah, yes, the fantasy that they have that the North uniquely loves Arya and somehow instinctively rejects Sansa, and that this would be a good thing rather than screaming misogyny. 😊

There's exactly one group in the North agitating for Ned Stark's daughter herself (the one within reach of them, mind) and that's the mountain clans, for two reason:

Distant family loyalty, alongside Stark loyalty. (A Liddle also aids Bran in the mountains.)

A culture that encourages them to seek death, not survival, at this particular time where Stannis comes knocking.

His father's mother's mother had been a Flint of the mountains. Old Nan once said that it was her blood in him that made Bran such a fool for climbing before his fall.  (ASOS, Bran ll)

It was a tale that any northmen knew well. "My father's grandmother was a Flint of the mountains, on his mother's side," Jon told her. "The First Flints, they call themselves. They say the other Flints are the blood of younger sons, who had to leave the mountains to find food and land and wives. It has always been a harsh life up there. When the snows fall and food grows scarce, their young must travel to the winter town or take service at one castle or the other. The old men gather up what strength remains in them and announce that they are going hunting. Some are found come spring. More are never seen again." (ADWD, Jon X)

"Winter is almost upon us, boy. And winter is death. I would sooner my men die fighting for the Ned's little girl than alone and hungry in the snow, weeping tears that freeze upon their cheeks. No one sings songs of men who die like that. As for me, I am old. This will be my last winter. Let me bathe in Bolton blood before I die. I want to feel it spatter across my face when my axe bites deep into a Bolton skull. I want to lick it off my lips and die with the taste of it on my tongue." (ADWD, The King's Prize)

Let's not overtly romanticize the North. Manderly's money is on Rickon the son. There's a sizable faction actually supporting the Boltons (Dustin/Ryswell and Karstark). No one lifts a single finger for "Arya" until Jon gives Stannis the advice to gather support in the mountains with his army, and those are the ones with comparatively little to do but die and "bathe in Bolton blood".

The main aspect here is opportunity v. cost.

But more to the point, just as you point out, if it was Sansa that Jeyne was pretending to be, it would be the same. It's not the girls (within their actual reach) they specifically care for, it's Ned and House Stark.

The specific (small) subset of Sansa Anti/Arya stan that pushes these takes is, indeed, less interested in Arya, the actual books and the political dynamics therein, than they are in a distorted Cinderella fantasy where Arya is uniquely chosen and loved over Sansa. The rejection of Sansa is as central to that fantasy as the elevation of Arya, because the Mean Girl needs to be vanquished and punished in order to destroy the very notion in the world that Their Projection Surface was ever not The Prettiest And Bestest, deprived of the admiration she rightfully deserved by the cruel machinations of a middleschool bully.

You know, that's the complex philosophical, political and literary themes and interpersonal dynamics that GRRM is known for. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[whoreofabaddon]

I apologize somewhat insincerely for the pause in my regular posting, but I'm about to talk in depth about some of the power dynamics we see at play in IwtV.

Particularly, something that has been weighing on my mind is this post by @platoapproved in which we see Louis lightly stroking the bruises of Armand's trauma. Despite the fact the OP caught those hints so amazingly, the reblogs turn into an absolute cesspool in which there are many baffling accusations. So I wanted to touch on this from the perspective of someone who has both been in multiple D/s relationships (albeit as a lesbian and not a gay man) and is also a psychotherapist so trained in trauma responses.

The first thing I wanted to say is that we’re never given any reason to believe Louis is anything but a compassionate and skilled dominant partner. There are no moments portrayed between them where he oversteps any of Armand’s boundaries or where he uses their dynamic for manipulative purposes. We’re actually shown the opposite of that in the scenes where their power exchange come into play. He soothes Armand’s trepidation around setting boundaries and doesn’t force him to witness a new vampire being made. The one time we see Louis truly push Armand to accept a command is when he’s preventing him from killing Daniel, and even then, he validates that he’s hurt Armand enough to understand why he wants to. 

Similarly, we’re actually never shown Armand pushing Louis to take part in that dynamic when he doesn’t want to like so many keep claiming. I suspect that it was actually thrilling for Louis to meet a vampire older and more powerful than his maker, only to find that vampire would willingly allow him to have the control and authority between them. After having spent years in an abusive relationship, it must have seemed to be a gesture of great love to be shown such deference after Lestat had treated him so cruelly and disrespectfully. 

If anything it’s likely healing due to the change in the pattern. And that, I think, is also what is happening when we see Louis begin to draw from Armand’s history of trauma and introduce that into their dynamic. I fully believe he is playing with this dangerous subject because it is something Armand has never finished processing; he's such a trusted figure in Armand's life that it is safe for them to do this together. Armand's not been able to complete the loop of thoughts surrounding his abusive childhood, and so his mind is going to replay it over and over and seek out ways to ‘master’ it. That means his brain has to be convinced that he’s ‘solved’ the issue and the risk is abated. So he is going to keep returning to it or desperately avoiding it, and Armand’s patterns lean towards pursuing the subject matter over and over. The fact that it is Louis drawing on the memories means he knows he’s able to have the freedom of changing the ending; he goes ‘to coffin’ with his maitre at the end, he’s not truly given away for someone else’s sexual pleasure, and the fear and humiliation is touched on but ends before it can get worse. This time the offer is declined, this time he can reply snappily ("I wouldn't let you near my neck..."), and this time he doesn’t have the horrible emotional push-pull of ‘how dare you do as I tell you’ which Marius tended to use against him. (I also think Louis is referencing Armand’s blood being addictive to Daniel in the books, but that’s another layer to explore at a later time).

So I’ll say that, unlike some commenters, I don’t think it’s ‘ugly’ that Louis is mirroring aspects of Marius’ behaviors. Instead, I think the vulnerability and trust that it would require for them to successfully do this shows something very beautiful about the way they relate to each other.  

(Mandatory disclaimer that I am not suggesting that everyone ought to drop out of therapy and process their trauma using an untrained partner and kink. There is a high chance that you can trigger your partner. I am simply illustrating the psychology and perceived intentions at play and why this could feel satisfying to the characters).  And tagging @thequeenofsastiel for the promised meta.

[charcubed]

Disneyland's Rogers: The Musical, propaganda that turns Steve Rogers into more myth than man, and revisionist history (possibly) to a purpose

Any of my thoughts in this post could just be me reading too far into things. I'm very aware of that, and please know that this post exists just because this sort of thing is fun for me! This is a thought exercise where we propose "What if we live in a world where the MCU is actually doing a cool and interesting thing as a longcon?" If you have anger at Marvel, that's valid and relatable, but please don't get angry at me or imply I'm an MCU stan who doesn't think critically about the mouse. Thanks!

Breaking news: I'm back on my bullshit!

A quick personal recap: I infamously hated Avengers: Endgame for a long list of reasons (and I even rewrote the movie). One of those reasons is that I've always taken issue with Steve's ending. But in the years since then, and as the MCU's phase 4 has evolved, my frustration at Steve's "ending" has turned into an ongoing and legitimate theory that the MCU could be slowly leading into a loosely adapted Secret Empire plot line. I know we've all been joking about Steve being trapped or about an imposter Steve since 2019, but uhhh, it's kind of not a joke to me anymore? It feels weirdly plausible at this point and so I enjoy discussing the potential.

You can find a full elaboration on that here, where I wrote out my "Steve was snatched by HYDRA" theory in 2021.

In that post, one of the things I mentioned at the time was Rogers: The Musical being in the Hawkeye trailer.

[The musical's] very existence is an example of how in-universe the stories of the lives of the heroes are being commodified, especially (in terms of how they’re framing it) for Steve’s. The heroes are no longer seen as people, if they ever were. They are, as Kate Bishop says to Clint in a recently released clip, more about “branding.” Sam Wilson will be redefining the shield moving forward in a Cap context, but simultaneously, the world is still enamored by Steve Rogers as a symbol in his own right. And that is ripe for manipulation as a Trojan horse to control public opinion… whether in the context of things like this by themselves (is the musical portraying Steve accurately, or is it painting an inaccurate picture of him the world accepts as fact?) or in future (is this propaganda that makes the public see Steve a certain way and continue to love him, to set up a fake or brainwashed Steve coming on the scene later?).

Now a form of the musical exists in full, at Disneyland and all over Youtube. Considering some of its baffling content – which I will break down below – this perspective seems even more strongly worth considering.

I have two main reasons for why I'm defending examining this musical so closely:

1. It is (arguably) an in-universe piece of media that has bearing on the MCU canon. It isn't like any other typical Disneyland attraction; its very existence is meta and it was in canon first. Obviously it's seen in Hawkeye, but there are also posters for it in several different phase 4 properties. It's lurking in the background indefinitely. So what can this musical tell us about what the wider public within the MCU is being told about the life story of Steve Rogers?

2. This Secret Empire graphic – which is animated in the center of the stage of a prolonged period of time – feels like a literal sign to pay attention.

Granted, this is obviously still ancillary material. 99% of the MCU audience will never see this musical, whether in person or on YouTube. But just because it isn't a vital piece doesn't mean it's automatically an entirely irrelevant piece.

They've given me an inch with that sign and I'm taking a mile.

So if you're interested, please join me on this journey :)

For the record, let me just say that I salute the creative team behind this show. It's pretty fun and the songs are catchy, the sets and costuming are cool, and the cast is overall very talented.

It's also fucking maddening. LMAO.

Why? Firstly, because of the seemingly deliberate ahistorical inaccuracies. We all know Ant-Man is wrongly shown in the Battle of New York, which originally "came from [the Hawkeye showrunner] and Marvel, as something to further aggravate Hawkeye as he watched the show, and also as a comment on how movies and articles and people always get something wrong." It seems like they expanded those meta nods, but most inaccuracies are now in service of glorifying Steve and Peggy's "love story." Yes, romance objectively makes for good theater; but again, I feel that this is worth examining considering the full context.

And secondly, Steve's ending is framed as an offer presented to him, convincing him it's the happy ending he deserves because he's tired. In my mind, these two big elements go together, and I'll walk you through the details of what happens in the musical before I tie the thought threads back around into some theorizing.

For your reference, here's a list of the main songs and story beats:

• "U-S-Opening Night" - the Starkettes (who are basically a Greek chorus) frame the show's story, and then it turns into an ensemble that loosely takes place at the Stark Expo. • "I Want You" – Steve's "I want" song about trying to enlist in the army. • "Star-Spangled Man With A Plan" – Steve performing on the USO tour obviously, and then there's a reprise with an added voiceover that (very briefly) covers the Howling Commandos' rescue + the war via comic book imagery. • "What You Missed" – Fury and the Starkettes tell Steve some pop culture things he missed while he was frozen, + they tell him about the Avengers. Then Fury goes down a list of other hero characters, including the Guardians? Doctor Strange? Wanda?? It plays loose and fast with time, because many non-2012 characters are bafflingly mentioned in this nonlinear Avengers list – including the Winter Soldier (???). • "Save the City" – this is the song seen in Hawkeye, with the civilians + the Avengers all involved, but it's slightly different here and expanded to also reference other battles. • "End of the Line" – Old Steve presents main Steve with the time stone as an opportunity for his happy ending, and they reflect on things together. (Yes, this is insane.) • "Just One Dance" – Steve and Peggy reunite and sing about their love. • And then there's basically a reprise of "Save the City," with the Starkettes and the whole cast closing the finale out.

Right out of the gate, let's address this: the main reason you're going to see some fans pissed about this musical is not only that Steve and Peggy's ~epic romance~ is made a pillar of the story... but also that Bucky's importance/involvement in Steve's life is minimized as much as possible.

And they took Bucky-related elements from canon and made them center more around Peggy instead.

• For some weird reason, Peggy is in the Stark Expo scene. When a soldier is hitting on the Starkettes ("hey sweetheart, I wanna dance!"), Steve tells the soldier to show the ladies some respect. The soldier grabs Steve and throws him down, and then Peggy swoops in to yell "Pick on someone your own size!" and punches the guy before walking away. So she's given Bucky's TFA line verbatim, and she is given the role he had of saving Steve from bullies. There is blatantly no reason they couldn't have had Bucky still serve that function and be truer to "history," because he briefly enters this scene in uniform less than a minute later to announce he's shipping out to the 107th – and then he spins off with a date on his arm. (We don't see Bucky on stage again until the full cast comes out for the finale!)

• After the Star-Spangled Man show, Peggy rushes in to talk to Steve. Steve is excited about his USO performance (???) but she urgently tells him to listen as she says that the 107th has been captured. Peggy apparently knows it's Bucky's division, and she knows Steve is going to go, so she tells him that she's already arranged transport for him. This is a subtle twist from the truth of how it went down in TFA, in which Steve recognized 107 as the number of Bucky's division, and his dogged determination inspired Peggy to relent and help his rescue mission. Here, Peggy is given a stronger role in the Cap origin story. And before Steve rushes off, Peggy sings a short untitled ballad hoping for their dance, so Steve pauses before he leaves to ask her to go on a date with her when he returns. • The most egregious Bucky-to-Peggy change of all is the song "End of the Line," in which the infamous Steve and Bucky line/promise (that broke Bucky's brainwashing...) is re-contextualized to be about ???? Peggy waiting for Steve in the past??? Old Man Steve and regular Steve sing it together. But we'll go back to that in a minute.

Again, I get it, yeah? It's for theater. Whatever. But in reality, the obvious logical truth is that Peggy is centered (to the point of taking elements from Bucky's story, and in turn Bucky is downplayed) because they needed to convince the audience that Steve going back in time to be with her makes sense. Steve's time travel ending had to be justified, so the Peggy and Steve "love story" had to be a pillar in this with everything else being given lesser weight.

And the inherent selfishness of him doing something as big as going back in time also had to be justified... which is why they do their best to convince you Steve fought so much he deserved it.

Let me elaborate on that by describing the lead-up to the "End of the Line" song.

So, right before "End of the Line" is "Save the City" – which includes Steve belting "I can do this all day!" repeatedly, of course. It's the 2012 Battle of New York as the Avengers come together to win.

As they begin to disperse, the song then transitions to a voiceover alert mentioning Sokovia being under attack by artificial intelligence (a.k.a. Age of Ultron). The Avengers group rushes back to center stage to say "Save the city! Help us win!" together for battle again.

And then things get fucking weird.

Because the next voiceover threat is "Washington DC. Attack: the Winter Soldier." This is not accurate to the order of events! The Winter Soldier events were before Age of Ultron; the public of the MCU would also know this.

And suddenly on stage Steve is now in the center while everyone else gestures to him. Instead of singing with him, they're telling him "Save the city! Help us win!"

Then, another voiceover: "Wakanda, under attack" (Infinity War) and again, Steve is centered while everyone else points to him. The ensemble says, "Save the city, help us win! Save us all from the state we're in! Got to hear you, got to hear you, got to hear you say..." as Steve is buckling to his knees under their pointing. And as the lights go down to one spotlight on him and everyone else leaves, he says "I can do this all day" one last time, but now it's subdued.

The implication is that Steve has been fighting and fighting, people leave him or he loses them, and he's tired.

And then fucking Old Man Steve arrives.

He says "On your left," because yes, they gave him Sam Wilson's line. BATSHIT.

So now there's two Steves on stage! There has been no mention of Thanos or infinity stones or anything up to this point! (I can only assume that's because in the MCU universe no one would want to be reminded of the trauma of "the Blip" – though it's pretty wild that they're allowed to know about magical time travel?)

Steve is baffled by Old Man Steve's arrival. I, too, was baffled by Old Man Steve's arrival.

As Steve questions how this is possible, Old Man Steve shows him the time stone from his pocket – and only the time stone – which Steve recognizes.

OLD MAN: "You've got to remember where you've been to know where you're going." STEVE: "Where am I going?" OLD MAN: "A date with destiny." STEVE: “Destiny. So we’re the hero till the end?” OLD MAN: “That’s the thing about endings, Steven. They can be rewritten.”

Lmao???????

Steve starts singing about how he hopes this means they "win" and calls himself a "tired hero."

STEVE: "But sometimes I wonder, who will save the savior? Can we really do this all day? So here I am, now and also then. Just a man, looking back at where he's been." OLD MAN: "The road is rough but wounds are healed by a thing called time. You can't forget what's waiting at the end of the line."

Me, watching this: the fact that he says this out of the blue makes absolutely no sense.

There's a bit more singing, including "end of the line" repetition, and then Old Man Steve pulls out the time stone to essentially show visions of... I don't fucking know. Past, present, and future?

That's pre-serum Steve, Steve with Mjolnir, and Sam Wilson as the new Cap. This is the only reference to Sam in the whole thing.

More singing, and then: Peggy's silhouette.

OLD MAN: "Can't forget who's waiting..." STEVE: "I can't forget who's waiting..." BOTH: "Don't forget who's waiting..." STEVE: "At the end of the line."

At this point I'm like, what in the hell?

Did Old Man Steve just brainwash normal Steve into thinking "end of the line" is now about Peggy? Because uhhhh, sorry, that's what it feels like!

Then Steve uses the stone to go back in time, reunites with Peggy, etc. etc. finale.

It's truly some crazy shit.

[drags hands down face]

Look... there's a lot to unpack here, and there's a lot that gets me about it. I know this is dramatized for the stage! I KNOW! But the fact that Old Man Steve shows up to convince Steve he should go back in time makes me want to gnaw on furniture.

Another person essentially uses the lure of a life with Peggy to tempt Steve into doing this, dramatized or not. That is how it's framed.

It's a hell of a way to frame it, and it makes Steve's ending stand in even starker contrast to so many other things in phase 4. Desperately trying to go backwards when you shouldn't or to bring back a lost lover is an evil temptation, and it results in a trap or negative cosmic consequences for basically all of the other characters in the MCU.

• In Shang-Chi, Wenwu is tempted by the Soul Eaters beyond the Dark Gate. They use the voice of his deceased wife to convince him to set them free. • In "What If" episode 4, Doctor Strange becomes evil in a desperate bid to save Christine and he destroys his universe. Along the way, he tries to tempt/trap the good Strange who's fighting him by using visions of Christine, but good Strange knows she isn't real. • Wanda's grief and desire to bring back Vision leads to – well, you know. • In No Way Home, Peter trying to undo things is what causes the multiverse problems.

And the fact that they frame it as Steve being tired, so basically the argument is he deserves that time travel ending (just like MCU fans who defend Endgame say in real life)... Well.

There's no way to make it hold up, especially because in "What If" they explicitly subverted that and had Captain Carter not go back in time despite how she felt she'd "earned" it.

Lastly, in this musical as Steve decides to pursue time travel as his course of action, he basically has the meaning or memory of "end of the line" rewritten for him. I refuse to not think that is some nefarious shit. Yes, it's not out of the realm of possibility that it's just some general Disney erasing Steve and Bucky nonsense.

But... this is on another level to me. I do think that it's a blatant choice that they had to be aware even general MCU fans would call bullshit on. Everyone knows it's inaccurate. "End of the line" is embedded in pop culture consciousness as being connected to Bucky. It just is! Surely that means it's not a stretch to theorize it could be deliberate meta commentary.

How, in the MCU world, would the in-universe playwrights even know the phrase "end of the line"? How the fuck would it be accidentally applied to Steve and Peggy? Not to sound like a crazy person, but who the fuck was rooting around in Steve and/or Bucky's personal business or their brains in order to obtain that knowledge and then remix it, and why? Neither of them would flippantly mention it in the public eye or interviews ever. So where did its inclusion come from?

And in the finale ensemble, this is Bucky's line when he comes out on stage and salutes + points to Steve: "Don't forget who's waiting..." And Old Man Steve completes it with "...at the end of the line."

What on God's green earth am I meant to do with THAT?

Smh.

The vibes are fucked, folks.

The MCU public wouldn't know enough to say the vibes are fucked. The MCU public wouldn't know the origin of "end of the line" as a phrase. But us? The ones who know the "true story" via the movies? We can call bullshit.

Whether the creative team behind this musical did every aspect of this consciously or not, in my opinion the fact that they had to tweak canon "history" to A) make Peggy's involvement in Steve's life more central and B) emphasize Steve as a tired hero all works as commentary on and almost a condemnation of Endgame's frustrating ending. In a way, it's also what Endgame did with the compass and 1973 moment with Peggy as well.

Steve's ending had to be convincing.

It's theater.

And so, maybe the same is true for the in-narrative perspective of this musical in the context of the MCU world. What purpose would it serve to tell the MCU public a feel-good narrative about how all Steve Rogers wanted was to no longer be a tragic man out of time and get to make a life with his best girl? To frame it as being about how he fought so hard for years and so he earned a happy ending? To minimize and nearly erase Bucky's importance in his life?

Who would want to do that sort of propaganda, and why?

The MCU civilians are given this happy explanation and maybe don't widely question it. Who cares about the details or logistics if it makes a good story, I guess. It's a stretch, but maybe they mostly applaud it. Maybe they're happy for "America's favorite son" (not unlike people who uncritically liked Endgame). In a way, it's even a rehabilitation of his image (after the Accords) like putting the shield on the Statue of Liberty. And maybe they'd even be ready and waiting to applaud if Steve ever made a dramatically selfless and de-aged return to the spotlight or a position of authority.

But mostly, the public is being conditioned to not know or to forget that anyone else like Bucky Barnes or Sam Wilson would possibly know Steve Rogers the person well enough in the modern day to call bullshit on any of this – or on his hypothetical miraculous future return.

So. Sure, it's probably nothing.

But what if it's not?

-------

UPDATE: @faeriecap added to this post with some incredible information and further behind-the-scenes context about the MCU/Marvel stuff at Disney parks! Check it out here :)

[jovenshires]

I hope Courtney knows that she doesn't have to pretend to be part of the lgbt community to be interesting. She's never had any relationships with any girls and most of the people she's dated and were attracted with are men. I think she was so desperate to be as interesting as Damien, Shayne, and Ian that she decided to adopt being queer as her "thing"

hey, what an absolutely despicable ask to send me, a bisexual woman!

this kind of biphobia (although 'bisexual' isn't the official term courtney uses to label herself, biphobia is the most fitting descriptor here and so i'll be using that throughout) in my ask box is disappointing and disheartening. it is not courtney's job to be in (what is perceived as) a same-sex relationship to be queer. they don't have to be in such a relationship to get your approval, or to prove herself as a "real" lgbt person. some bi/pan/queer people will never have same-sex relationships. just like some will never have straight relationships, and some will never have any relationships at all. that doesn't mean the attraction isn't real or isn't there. no matter what their relationship status is, that attraction doesn't fade. she will continue to be attracted to women and to be queer their entire life. liking more than one gender is valid. being queer is valid. courtney's feelings, although they're none of our fucking business even if she's been gracious enough to share them with us, are valid. just because they're in a 'heterosexual' relationship right now doesn't mean she stops being queer - not to mention, it isn't a heterosexual relationship, it's inherently a queer relationship because they are in it. they're nonbinary and lgbt. any relationship they're in will be a queer one.

i'm just honestly... so affronted and disgusted by this whole idea. what on gods earth makes you think they're pretending? why would she drag herself through that mental anguish? if you'll remember, courtney grew up in a religious mormon household. why put herself through that? for 'clout'? to be 'different'? i'll tell you what, as someone who grew up 'different' in a religious family, it is not fucking fun. it is ignorant and disrespectful of you to assume anyone has the comfort to "pretend" they're queer to "stand out." i did not spend years at my bedside trying to pray away the gay just for someone like you to come in and say someone in my community is pretending. i did not go through my formative years lamenting how different i was from everyone around me for you to come in and accuse another queer person of faking it.

and another thing - it is fucking BAFFLING to me that you would say courtney was 'desperate' to be as interesting as shayne, damien, and ian. you named three white straight men. hello???? are you fucking blind to what you just wrote? courtney has been out here BEING different, being unique and interesting and genuinely herself. for as long as i've been watching smosh, they have been the core of that company. as of this moment, they are the only current non-male main cast member and the second-longest-running main cast member overall. she's an accomplished writer, actor, producer, and director. without her, there's no funeral roasts, no reunions, no 'our leaked dms.' without her, there's simply no smosh, because they're a major part of the reason that company even lived through the defy collapse and the pandemic. they're also just objectively one of the funniest cast members there (can you imagine not having boneless. or pov you're a lobster. i honestly wish i could be half the comedic genius courtney is and that's not an exaggeration or a joke). they are interesting because of who they are, not because they're 'pretending' to be anything. courtney would be just as popular and beloved as she currently is even if she had never come out, which they only did because they were brave and trying to be their most authentic version of herself.

this ask left my stomach rolling. i am absolutely appalled. the smoshblr community we've created here is meant to be a safe haven, as smosh the company has become, for outcasts and oddballs, and that is supposed to include the lgbt community. i have praised smoshblr again and again for being the place i've felt most comfortable and accepted, but this is extremely hurtful. as a bisexual woman who has constantly struggled with being 'queer' enough, i take this kind of thing personally. and you may be thinking that this isn't about me, but it is. this is about every queer person who has been accused of 'faking it' by one biphobe or another. if a person says they're queer - they're fucking queer. end of story.

[nerves-nebula]

So because I grew up in a house where apologies were mostly ignored in favor of a return to the status quo, or were forced and insincere, and where you could routinely count on a physical fight to break out, I have a kind of high threshold for what I consider to be “acting mean” or what I think deserves an apology. which means I don’t always recognize when to apologize

For example if someone is so frustrated or upset that they snap at me, like, I’m not gonna like it but my first thought isn’t “wow I’m really personally upset by this” it’s more along the lines of “oh shit they’re having a really bad time and or are annoyed. better give them space, bothering them clearly isn’t helping” and then once they’re better they’ll be less on edge so who cares. That’s not them acting mean, that’s them acting stressed. And that’s going to happen sometimes when you live with someone.

I don’t take it super personally because I know that states of heightened emotion aren’t personal. I don’t think someone who hates me would tolerate basically paying for my existence for this long if that were how she truly felt.

But this is not the case with my roommate who had a better family life lol. So when I snap at her she feels like that needs an apology. Which kind of annoys me at first blush because it’s like… what? You’re upset that I was too upset to control myself and want me to apologize an entire day later?? When I would never ask that of you because I know without verbal clarification that being upset makes you snappy?

However I also know that not apologizing is a dick move because it’s not about being right or whose worldview is more valid, it’s about making it clear that you care enough about someone else to say you didn’t mean to hurt their feelings. So obviously i apologized and she seemed to feel instantly better.

But it is still baffles me a bit. She and I are closer to each other than we are to probably anyone else. I don’t even really know what she was feeling bad about, like, what were the bad feeling-thoughts about? And why is a verbal apology is good enough to totally fix things but not my material actions?

But maybe it’s just that I’ve felt so much worse that the minute cloud of bad feelings that comes with being snapped at easily dissipates for me. Idk.

Tho on a funnier note this also means she’ll randomly apologize for things I literally don’t remember or care about. She’ll be like “sorry if that thing I said yesterday made it sound like I thought you were stupid” and I’ll be like what? What thing?? Wait did you think I was stupid ? Like girl you have never been mean in any meaningful way. Relax.

[demonqueenart]

- dan and phil have no reason to come to latam at all, they are ENGLISH content creators who make videos in the ENGLISH language and whose majority audience speaks ENGLISH. it's kind of baffling to me that you feel entitled to them going completely outside their audience when no other content creator does that, youtubers need to make money off their tours, they need to go to the places where their fanbase mostly is, other people and even artists do exactly this because why would they come here? there's an entire language barrier in between. all the other countries they're going to that speak a different language are either physically closer or they have more english speakers as a second language and they aren't giving that many dates in them. and of course they have a lot of dates for the US? that's where most of their audience is? they need to know where their audience is, that's their job, so they definitely know more than us about it

- saying they can just "dip into" mexico for a few shows is ridiculous, if they were to give a show here the most likely place for their audience to be is mexico city and, again, even that would be risky

- i can't speak for other latam countries but i have never in my life met someone who's offended at getting called a third-world country. that's just? the correct way to say it? like i'd rather he say that than call us poor or smth obviously. i will say that i agree it's a *stupid* term because it doesn't apply to the modern world anymore, the US has many problems that third world countries also have and third world countries have a lot of progressive aspects that first world countries don't. however, acting like latam is only big cities and progressive people is ignorant and avoids talking about the real problems we face. the term comes from a war that has been used to stereotype us but it is also the way it's taught in schools, society and the internet. dan saying this seems to me like it was just the way he knows how to say it (which is the way most people know) and he didn't strike me as having malicious intent which is always what is most important

- dnp have never promoted this as a world tour. they don't owe us explanations or apologies as to why they're not going to certain countries. it's okay to be upset that they aren't coming to yours, i was too, but they really have no reason to go because it's *their* tour not ours.

- the one thing i agree with here is the racist stuff they've said and done in the past, especially dan. the things he did were disgusting and not okay. but i am absolutely giving him the benefit of the doubt because, in my opinion, actions are better than words. he was a teenager (!!!) and he hasn't repeated his behavior since, i'm also pretty sure he Has apologized but even if he hadn't i'd much rather he actually fix himself, which is what he's done imo, instead of saying sorry and continuing to do the same thing

- racism is a constant problem in most fandoms and it should be addressed directly as to put a stop to it. it makes sense to me that you think the way you do as you said you've never experienced such a thing in your life but please please please take a step back and realize that dan and phil don't know every single internal problem happening with their fans and giving up on them completely the way you seem to have is insanely and undeservedly pessimistic when they most likely don't even know what's going on.

Sincerely, a mexican dan and phil fan.

That’s a very valid point! I won’t disagree, what you said could be the reasons underlying all of this events that’s been happening. And mind you, I don’t even care if they’re not going on the tour in my area. It’s never been about that. The problem is tho, why does this explanation come from a fan instead of dnp. Don’t get me wrong, these are very valid points! If dnp were to say that to me and others, I would have been okay! There has been many instances where dnp knows their actions have hurt others, but they stay silent and try to cover it up. These reasonings are not bad! And it won’t make them look bad if they say anything about it. But it’s weird why they wouldn’t say anything when so many of us have been hurt by them staying silent.

I’ll give you an example to clarify this. Mirian from twt, one of the community team that did subtitles for dnp videos, she has expressed she was very hurt by the term 3rd world country. And although you and others are not offended by it, you should not tell others how to feel about the term because we have different experiences. This term are derogatory to a lot of people, and diminishing other people’s experiences is not right. Mirian and many others have addressed this issue multiple times: during wad, when dnp did a fake apology. And dnp could just dip in and say, “we’re sorry that the term offended you. It was taught in school and we didn’t mean anything by it.” Does that look bad to you? It’s not to me! But they never did! They turned a blind eye on it, and so are other people in this community.

Do you know what that feels like? When white people just keep ignoring you as if we’re crazy for feeling offended when they have offended us? There has been far too many shooshing in this community, and in the name of them keep doing this to us! We want them to address things because we want to know that they are there for us, that they are trying and didn’t mean by any mistakes they’ve done. Instead, they keep trying to bury us up, pretending we’re not there! How do you think I would feel about it? Should I be glad that they see me being hurt as this ugly thing that should be buried down because that’d make them look bad? I’m telling you right now, if they do not acknowledge those people they’ve hurt, you cannot say this space is inclusive to everyone.

I was hoping to bring light to these issues, not pretending it’s not there, not enabling them or this community. What do you think it says about this community that we cannot bring light to issues that can hurt people so severely. If people were to be called out about someone saying transphobic slurs, you would not have diminished their feelings. You would speak up in hopes that it won’t be repeated again. This whole thing could be solved by just a good communication, but them not choosing to do that means they’re not choosing us to be here. And to that, idk. Maybe I should find a space that actually treats me like a person, not a thing that keeps making excuses for others

Auto-message: This ask’s purpose is to acknowledge dnp’s past/present exclusivity, not to cancel them! But to embrace mistakes that they’ve made so that 1. we won’t exclude people in need in this community, and 2. we can normalize bringing up exclusivity so that improvement can happen. Hopefully this will one day help dnp realize that this is a safe space for them to talk about their mistakes, so that this space can become safe for people of all kinds too <3

*If you don’t understand what is happening, scroll through my blog for context. And I’ll be taking time to answer my asks, so don’t think I’m ignoring youuu*

[mimikoolover]

Hi! I’m about to dump a little ramble here I hope that’s okay :)

I’m fairly new to bts and have only in the last six months started to catch up on everything and then started observing the fandom. I have to say, the one thing that’s left me completely baffled about this fandom as an outsider is the way jimin and jungkook’s bond is treated.

I was prepared for seeing appreciation for all the different friendship-dynamics between the members, and I have seen that and it’s beautiful. Jimin is my bias so I like seeing his bonds with everyone. But the general difference in energy surrounding jikook compared to the other friendships is wild to me.

I was prepared to see tinhat type shippers who try to prove two members are romantically/sexually involved and will die on that hill, because there’s always those in every fandom. (and ofc I’ve seen those here too with several different pairings and I don’t necessarily have a problem with it unless they’re being completely inappropriate or harassing them or people in their life or whatever, you do you in fan spaces I guess), but what I was NOT prepared for is seeing jikook biased fans and shippers(?)supporters(?) spending more time defending the fact that they are even close AT ALL, than they do trying to prove an alleged romance. When to me as an outsider it’s incredibly obvious they have been/are one of the closest duos in the group and love each other dearly. Why is that not just accepted as fact? Why are people so hell bent on downplaying that reducing them to purely fan service? Of course they do fan service, all of them do, all groups like that do, but two things can exist at once. It’s super easy to detect when band members are acting close on camera but aren’t actually close, believe me I’ve seen it before, and jikook are definitely not that.

So why??

Some patterns I’ve obseobserved:

- Solo stans love rivalry. JM and JK are the most popular/stand out the most and have the most success with solo songs etc, therefore their fans simply have to dislike the other and see them as competition, -> can’t appreciate them together

- People dislike shippers who see them as something more than friends so much that it “ruined” their bond for them and they can’t appreciate their interactions because of it. (Childish if you ask me, never let what other fans say affect how you feel about the people you follow)

- They’re tinhat taekookers (nothing more to say here lol)

- They’re homophobic and/or jealous and can’t stand some of their flirtyness/jokes/other gay shit they do lol (but it seems to be mostly okay if it’s other pairs, only these two bringing out such a strong anti reaction… which I think is rooted in a few different things but that could be a whole other ramble so)

- They take out negative feelings about perceived mistreatment/favoritism/questionable career moves/believing one is better than the other etc on JM andJK to the point of not wanting to see them together. And I’m not saying some of those concerns can’t be valid, but letting it drive you to dislike one of them so much you can’t appreciate their bond is wild.

- They just don’t like one of them or both for whatever reason, which sure whatever not everyone’s gonna vibe with everyone. Who fans vibe with or not isn’t gonna change the fact that they clearly vibe with each other though, spewing negativity is pointless.

I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this if you have the time! Why do you think they’re so “controversial”?

Oh also for the record, I’m firmly in the “idc what they have just love them” camp. I can see why some think there’s feelings/attraction there, I can also see why some think it’s simply close friendship/found family/mutual admiration. That’s not the point here though.

first of all i hope you've been having loads of fun becoming a fan, i wish i could go back to the time when i first discovered bts🥹💜

i think the reason is all of what you've said but i have to add one more which is taekookers actively spreading proganda about jikook hating each other. that is a massive one i fear. from what i hear the first group most people come across when they become fans tends to be taekookers (i suppose the reason is that many people get drawn in by tae or jk) and tkkers are super hardcore when it comes to spreading pure hatred towards jimin and jikook. the biggest tkker accounts on twitter and youtube are hardcore haters of jimin and jikook and they come up with wild theories about how jikook hate each other.

i think they do that because they want to pre-empt people looking at jikook and seeing that they're close then questioning if jikook are in fact closer to eo than taekook, which wouldn't bode well for tkkers. once people are brainwashed any ridiculous theory will fly because they already want to believe that jikook hate each other.

whatever jimin or jk do alone or together, tkkers' first reaction is to relate it to proving that jikook don't get along. it's obsessive and frankly so ridiculous. for example apparently jungkook took a trip to japan with eunwoo last year. tkkers' first reaction was that this proves that jikook aren't dating and they're not special because jimin wasn't the only person jungkook 'took to' japan. which is lowkey funny to me coming from tkkers because it's not like jk went with tae. by their logic wouldn't they find it weird that jk travels with someone who's not tae?😭but this is just an example of how far tkkers take their hate and jikook could do literally anything in the world, it would still mean that they hate each other. they didn't have to connect jk and eunwoo's trip to jikook but they still did because they're obsessed and they can't stop talking about how much they think jikook hate each other.

solos are very loud these days but from what i've seen they don't tend to focus on jikook's relationship (or their faves' relationship with other members in general) more than just spew hate towards the members. it's not very ship-specific i don't think. undoubtedly some of them dislike jikook's bond because they don't want them to be close but it's more coming from misguided hate towards either of them than anything actually related to what jikook say/do.

however i will say i think solo stans' bs do affect jikookers/people who would be a fan of both of them and more and more people are 'choosing sides' which to me is really sad...it was definitely a case in the past that most jikookers biased jimin but now the majority of those people have become solos or if they don't say that they've become solos, they displayed very extreme anti reactions to jungkook which is why i have half of jikookers on tumblr blocked😭

there's also a big issue with tkkers harassing people who post positively about jikook especially if it's someone who's a 'non shipper', for example they made numerous 'non shipper' youtubers delete positive reactions to jikook videos or flooded their comments saying that jikook hate each other. 'non shippers' like anyone else don't want to be harassed so many just choose to not talk about jikook i guess.

i've not really been in fandom spaces this year like i was in the past and what became apparent to me is that a lot of drama is just on twitter which is almost like its own bubble. if you look outside of twitter i think the majority of bts fans bias either jimin or jungkook and a lot of those people don't have an issue with their friendship. i see a lot of people get chimmy and kooky keychains together for example and i think outside of twitter a lot of people will be enjoying jikook's travel show.

a reason why i kind of 'left' twitter is because i realised that jikookers focus on the negativity around jikook a lot both from tkkers and solos. i think perhaps there's a tendency for jikookers to highlight the negative bc we want to protect jikook and react strongly to hate but i think this can skew how we think people view jikook if we are focusing on the negative so much. i mean i completely understand it but i think this is also why there's so many solos in the fandom in general, we want to protect the members so much so that we end up focusing on the hate which will then start to seem really extreme and people get more and more passionate towards defending whoever they think deserves it most and end up resenting other members because of their fans' behaviour.

i'm kind of down about bts fandom in general these days because it seems to be in shambles. a good thing though is that years of tkkers and solos didn't seem to affect jikook's bond at all which i didn't think it would. i'd love to say that i think things will get better and people will start to appreciate jikook's friendship but i just don't see it happening😭maybe i should become more hopeful if we are getting people like you with common sense becoming fans!

[weaselytedious]

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

for Ryunosuke!

RYUNOSUKE NARUHODO MY BEST FRIEND RYUNOSUKE NARUHODO 🐭

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

He's my favourite Ace Attorney character tied with Maya! He's an underdog character who doesn't even start as a lawyer but then has an amazing character arc that really leads him to deserving that "Great Ace Attorney" title by the end. His animations are all really charming and I can't pick a favourite. He has a unique and interesting relationship with every other main character. He's very outwardly polite with a sarcastic and snarky inner monologue that occasionally leaks into his outer monologue. Can't remember three digits on his student badge (which he's lost three times) but CAN unravel complex government conspiracies. If you told him "gullible" was written on the ceiling he'd check and then politely ask if you could be mistaken. He won't bluff in the courtroom but can bluff for England when asked to tidy his desk by his teenage assistant. He drags out the equivalent of Mia Fey's "well if you're sure it isn't poisoned why don't YOU take it" several times in court and it just works. Nobody is doing it like him. Obsessed with this guy

2. Favourite canon thing about this character?

I love that all we know about his backstory is random lore drops, mostly from optional dialogue. He's not even cagey about it in the way Phoenix is, it's just that people never ask him anything. Turns out he steals soap from public baths, has had a cold only once in his life and still complains about it, takes all his medicine at once when he's prescribed some, doesn't like knives (except Karuma, that's Kazuma's soul, Susato), knows only three types of flowers that are actually just blossoms, and who knows what else??

(Also I relate to him being terrified at Madame Tussauds because I went to Madame Tussauds once as a child and remember having a similar reaction so I think he's very valid for that tbh)

3. Least favourite canon things about this character?

I know Phoenix is never actually confirmed to be Ryunosuke's DIRECT descendant but the fact that it implies Ryunosuke canonically has children at some point baffles me. I cannot imagine this man being a father. There are enough weird contrivances that lead to characters ending up with children in this series that I can believe he got saddled with a kid at some point, but would he actually be a good parent? Uh..... Maybe he'd have been better as a standalone character tbh

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

I'd love to put Ryunosuke in Doctor Who. This man is definitely NOT equipped for aliens and time travel so I just think putting him in both situations would be really funny. I think he'd get along with the 11th Doctor (Matt Smith) because he matches a lot of the Sholmes energy, but he'd probably be more likely to actually survive if paired with 12th (Peter Capaldi) lmao

If reality shows count then I'd put him on Strictly Come Dancing if only because he already made a direct reference to it in the game which is hilarious (Sholmes would also be extremely funny on Strictly, obviously)

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I don't listen to a lot of music but Toh Kay's "The Hands that Thieve" has always made me think of Gina and Ryunosuke reflecting on both the McGilded trial and Ryunosuke's trial and losing faith in the legal system, while Ryunosuke prepares to defend Gina in that final trial of the first game. (I've been editing a video of it but I'm not sure I'll post it anywhere lest I get stricken down by copyright)

Thanks for the ask!! 🐭

[my-mt-heart]

Thoughts on TBOC Trailer

I'm issuing another trigger warning (for mention of abuse) and another gentle reminder that if you're happy with the trailer, then I’m genuinely happy for you. This post will not resonate with you though, so I encourage you to keep scrolling or to just block me. I really won't be offended. If you aren't happy with the trailer or you're still processing the trailer, well, let's talk about it...

There are three major issues for me. The first is the way it positions the story as Daryl's despite all the promises offscreen that it would be Carol's story this season. He gets the first appearance, the name drop, and the spotlight in 90% of the shots while Carol's side of things is like an undercurrent. I love Daryl. I love that he has his own spinoff to explore his character more deeply, but this is supposed to be Carol's spinoff equally. She may not have been marketed as much as Daryl has been over the years, but her popularity and Melissa's critical acclaim have more than earned the same amount of narrative space that Daryl has. Her being sidelined in S11 and then removed entirely from the Caryl spinoff upset an entire fanbase.

Finding out about Carol's/Melissa's return on the other hand offset that pain and started generating (organic) buzz for the show, so it baffles me that AMC wouldn't keep following that path to maximize viewership. If TBOC really is Carol's story, and I'm not saying she won't end up having the most screentime, why wouldn't they want to sell that to the Carol/Caryl fans who left, the Carol/Caryl fans who feel uncertain about the storytelling (hi 👋) and the GA who love Carol, but may not realize she's back because all the media coverage keeps leaving out "TBOC" and using Daryl as the thumbnail? When you have something amazing, like Melissa's acting and Carol's story development and Caryl's chemistry, then it only makes sense to show it off. But instead, the positioning triggered my fear of Carol being sidelined again, of her being treated as insignificant to Daryl's story and the story overall. Whether that's valid or irrational, it's still not the visceral reaction I want to have when I thought I was being treated to the epic return of the character who taught me everything I know about resilience and strength.

My second issue is the heavy-handed positioning of Daryl, Isabelle, and Laurent as a nuclear family, not just when Daryl tells Laurent that he and Isabelle want to take him to America, but the classic American image right after that of the three of them playing baseball together. Whether it's a misdirect or not—I'm having a hard time figuring out which to be honest because I know Zabel and Nicotero are more than capable of taking it in a direction that might seem wildly absurd from our POV—I'm very uncomfortable with any representation of Daryl in a manipulative relationship/friendship/nun-ship, especially if the manipulation isn't going to be addressed. And I don't expect it to be addressed going off of what Zabel and Norman have been saying about Daryl needing to open up his heart to his new family.

I have to refrain from giving out any personal details about myself on my blog, but I'll share this because I think it provides important context for my position on Daryl and Isabelle (trigger warning). I was terrified of my dad when I was a kid. He wasn't a monster like Ed or Daryl's dad, but when he was angry—and he was angry a lot—he was mean and loud and destructive. That was my frame of reference for how men naturally behave, for almost all of my adolescent life. When I started watching TWD, I recognized some of my dad's worst qualities in Daryl at first, but then Daryl grew in ways my dad never could. He overcame his predisposition as an angry redneck because he "opened up his heart" to Carol and saved all of the violence/aggression for killing zombies and fighting villains (usually). When Isabelle accused him of being like his dad to get him to stay in France (106), it cut deep because Daryl isn't anything like his dad. He's not an abuser. He's not selfish. He doesn't abandon anyone or intentionally hurt the people he cares about. He's the male role model I never had. A man of honor who deserves to be loved by someone who sees that without a doubt. Carol sees that. She was the first person to help him nurture that, whereas Isabelle keeps him in the cycle of abuse by gaslighting him into becoming a father figure to a kid he barely knows. So unless the EPs are telling a clear story about that, which they aren't, they're just glorifying toxic/abusive relationships.

Caryl is the relationship that fans have invested in for more than a decade. It's one of the most iconic relationships on television for a reason. They represent hope for their fans, some having endured hardships in their own lives similar to Daryl's and Carol's. Their fans seek comfort in a love story between two damaged, middle-aged people who thought they couldn't heal from their trauma and thought they weren’t worthy of love. Their fans have every right to expect Caryl-centric storytelling in a show that's being marketed as a Caryl show (see AMC's hashtags), especially considering they've had to wait more than two years after some assholes underestimated Melissa's value to the franchise.

I personally went into SDCC wanting to know what I could look forward to for Caryl's shared arc in addition to their individual arcs. I think a lot of people did judging by all the questions they dropped on AMC's/TWD's social media accounts leading up to the con. Side note: All of those questions were ignored in favor of questions geared toward TWD fanboys. We only got the tease at the very end of the trailer, and that tease doesn't tell us anything new. Only that, once again, it's Daryl's story and Carol is in the periphery. We already know Caryl are going to reunite. We've known for over a year and even for those who don't track filming updates, it's not a difficult conclusion to come to. The trailer can't spoil how and when and what happens after, but it can show us how Daryl and Carol remain spiritually tethered despite being physically separated. It didn't do that. It played on anxieties instead of desires, which is both tiresome and unethical.

My last issue, which we've been talking about for a while now, is the excessive friendship positioning. Yes, Daryl's and Carol's bond is rooted in a deep friendship. No, it doesn't mean they can't also be romantic. But when that word shows up in every tweet, every synopsis, and every interview, it's not only deliberate, it's targeting a specific viewership and judging by Melissa's mandated (yeah, mandated) use of it as well, I think it's less about telling Caryl fans to set their expectations (AMC thinks we're already guaranteed viewers), and more about trying to appeal to dudebros/fanboys, which is ridiculous because those fans aren't going to invest long-term anyway, not without a catalyst for more Rick stories and action-adventure stories that aren’t in Zabel's wheelhouse. It's just going to make a portion of the fanbase who will invest long-term less hopeful for what they want, plus erase the romantic potential for the GA to see. It's obviously not wrong for AMC to try to maximize their viewership. It is wrong to invalidate the profitable viewership that they have in the process. I have no idea if the show intends to surprise Caryl fans with canon by the end of the season or if certain EPs will get their way, but I do know I can't make any sense of a platonic friendship for Caryl. Insisting on that would be a huge retcon for me. A dealbreaker, as I’ve always said.

AMC started off on the right track with the very first teaser we got, showcasing the significance of Caryl's relationship in the tagline, "To find home is to find each other.” The SDCC trailer feels like we've taken three giant steps backward. I came out of it feeling like the story Zabel, Nicotero, and some faction of AMC want to tell isn't for me, that my favorite characters aren't for me unless I'm willing to forfeit my understanding of them to make the fanboys and certain EPs feel justified in their biases. It doesn’t feel good.

That’s all of my SDCC coverage for now. I appreciate everyone for giving me the space to voice my honest opinions. It might be a buzzkill, but it’s the only way for AMC to properly assess what’s working and what’s not working for their audience 🤷🏻‍♀️

[kerstuhn]

wwwy was something i always dreamt of going to. i saw the first lineup for 2022 and was in awe and genuinely couldn’t believe it was real (it was around this time when i was recovering from a cardiac arrest and had completely missed mcrs uk tour and knew there was no chance of seeing them live). i stayed up to watch the streams to see the outfits and it was incredible.

i watched again last year for blink-182 who i was fortunate enough to see live. and when this years lineup was announced with not only fall out boy (my all time favourite band ever) but my chemical romance playing all of the black parade i knew there was no chance i could miss it.

the two years of fomo were rough and since i was fit and healthy again i knew i had to go. now one week post wwwy i cry whenever i think about it.

these are tears of joy, pride, and strength. welcome to the black parade was my favourite song as a child and that album followed me all through my preteens and throughout high school. and for where i lived that sorta music during that time was really outcasted. it was hard finding people with similar tastes in highschool and earlier but through festivals and concerts and even online, i have been able to find communities and places where i feel accepted.

when i had my cardiac arrest there was so much put against me and the doctors saw my case as a genuine miracle and even today it still baffles me as to how im here. sitting here knowing ive heard this album that tackles the subject of dying due to your body losing a battle and subsequently losing strength and energy but regaining it through the acceptance of death is surreal.

i never related to that album before a couple years ago as much as i do right now. having been so close to death and teetering over the edge makes the messages in this album all so real. dead!, cancer, famous last words, welcome to the black parade are few songs from that album that solidify and truly validate my experiences.

the black parade as an album has made me feel seen in so many different ways throughout all stages of my life. i can happily say i wouldn’t be here without it as cliché as it sounds. wwwy regardless about how some may feel about the concept and planning of the festival made me feel like i can achieve so much more than what is expected of me.

people thought i was mad going 5000+ miles to see this band and i was but considering i have died i don’t think it’s that bad !