#never BEFORE had a character I liked been MADE queer because the fans read them that way

[ace-and-ranty]

(STARING AT CEILING)

It’s just, you would NOT believe how feral and unhinged I became when Nico was confirmed gay in HoO, and the follow up was so, so, so disappointing.

[nutmeggery]

I need Neil Gaiman to know that Good Omens 2 made me feel emotions I haven't felt in nearly a decade.

When I heard there was going to be a Good Omens 2 I was looking forward to it, of course. I just wasn't expecting it do anything super special to my emotions. I was sure I'd enjoy it, though. I really enjoyed s1.

But, for the last few years, I watched shows and afterwards basically thought well, that was fun, and I quickly moved on and didn't think much about them. There was only about 3 shows in the last 5 years that had made me feel truly emotional and stayed on my mind to the point where I felt like I needed to engage in fandom for a while. (Good Omens 1 was one of them.)

I wasn't spoiled by the leak. I never even knew there was a leak. So I had no idea what was coming in s2. And oh boy...

See, I'd watched Our Flag Means Death, a show where you don't expect the lead characters to kiss, because, well, that never happens in these types of shows, right? And this is important because when they did kiss, it felt like a door that had been locked with just about all the high security locks in the world had suddenly, inexplicably, been opened. Something switched inside me. It took me months to understand what it was, but when I thought about Good Omens before s2 came out, I realized what it was.

I would never truly enjoy a bromance they're-only-queer/in love-by-your-own-interpreation story ever again. Stories where nothing is confirmed, just subtext that anyone who doesn't want to see it can easily deny and mock those who wish it was more.

While it was clear that Crowley and Aziraphale cared a lot about each other in s1, and were probably in love, it was still just a fun ship for fans to play with in fanfiction and fanart. Do they love each other? Oh sure. In what way? Well, that's up to interpretation. Ok, cool. But it's not quite Our Flag Means Death, is it?

Then I watched Good Omens 2. And from episode 1 I saw my favourite Angel and Demon duo love each other. And I was having the best time. I hadn't had such a good time watching a show in a long while. It was not only right up my alley, it was an alley I wasn't even aware was my alley until I saw it. I enjoyed seeing the old characters, the new characters. Oh, I was wonderful.

It was clear to me that, of course Crowley and Aziraphale love each other, are IN love with each other, showing it in their own way. And I wasn't expecting it to be THIS obvious.

And then when the kiss happened, I couldn't believe it. I covered my mouth with both hands and gasped and sat up straight in my seat. I had never expected it--the heartbreak it added to the already heartbreaking scene--it rewired something inside me.

It was like my emotions had been locked up in a stall like a horse for so, so long, and now the gate had been opened, the stable door kicked down, and the horse was running out onto the large pasture into the daylight, bucking and kicking up grass. Oh my god, I have to take a few minutes to process that entire 6 hour marathon of emotions.

And by a few minutes I meant a few days.

More than a few, actually.

I didn't need a kiss to understand how much they loved each other, but I did need the kiss to understand how intense and heartbreaking their separation is for them after everything.

But more than that, the kiss broke a barrier. They really did it, I thought. They really dared.

Aziraphale and Crowley aren't human males, no, but they're played by male actors. And that is significant. That makes the kiss significant. In the world we currently live in.

Weeks later, I'm still obsessed with the show, re-watching s1 and 2, reading the book again, listening to the audio drama. And I'm on tumblr, seeing people's posts and art to somehow sate my hunger for a s3 that doesn't exist (yet).

And I'm having a wonderful time.

[madlori]

Here's where I am with Buddie.

[CW: I am using the Buddie tag on this post, even though the gist of it is that I'm increasingly doubtful that it'll ever happen. This is NOT an anti-Buddie essay. If you'd rather not read about this topic, please keep scrolling. The bulk of the essay is behind the cut.]

-------

I've thought a lot about this over the weeks since 7x04 aired. It's not a secret that I'm wildly enthusiastic about the BuckTommy pairing (as are many fans) but what does that mean for my thoughts and opinions about Buddie, a pairing I still love and for which I am still writing fic (slowly but surely…)?

It's become increasingly difficult to reconcile hopes for Buddie with dread for a BuckTommy breakup, but if the show managed to pull off a breakup that did not destroy me, I would still be all in for a Buddie endgame.

But more and more, I don't think it's in the cards, and I'm increasingly okay with that.

First off, I know it's a common assumption that Buck and Tommy have an expiration date, and that it cannot last. That may very well be the case, but…the show is not acting like it, nor are they presenting this arc as if it's short-lived. Episodes 4-6, while also being about other things (especially the amazing Madney wedding plot in 6) were also a bit of a trilogy about Buck discovering his sexuality and taking tentative steps into a relationship with another man. It didn't go…particularly smoothly, but the events of 7x06 where they were concerned had a completely different tone. They had a much more settled vibe in the karaoke club scenes, from Tommy's very boyfriendly "check-in" look before he had to leave, to Buck's casual/distracted "Be safe" (as if he's said this before) and just how they spoke to each other and touched each other was much more comfortable than in the coffee meetup. Which makes me think it's been a few weeks and they've seen each other a few times in the interim.

And then that kiss. Putting aside that it was juxtaposed with a literal wedding kiss, there was nothing uncertain or hesitant about it. It felt like a very arc-capping kiss, coupled with the reveal to the rest of Buck's friends and family, and the clear message was "Okay, they're done 'getting together' now, they are together and will be together going forward, even if we don't see Tommy every episode (much as we don't see Karen every episode)." We know Tommy will be around through the end of S8, if not in every remaining episode. After that, we'll see.

A lot of fans have viewed one of the guys coming out as queer to be a first step towards a Buddie future, but I have to say I've never been super comfortable with that logic. I've always thought that if they were going to get together, or both be revealed to be queer, it would have to be at the same time, with each other, via them getting together. The minute they pulled the trigger on Bisexual Buck, I immediately thought that this made Buddie far less likely. Why?

Because it would mean that the writers/showrunners would be making BOTH their "hot younger firefighter" characters queer…separately. In separate storylines. Distinct from each other. And I just don't see that happening. I'm not saying it SHOULDN'T happen. I'd be over the moon. I'm saying I think that's unlikely.

As much as it pains me to say it, I think Eddie will be written as straight and will continue to be written as straight. I don't disagree with the many examples of queer coding we've all seen - the problem is all of them can be just as easily interpreted as arising from a different trauma. Almost everything we've seen from him that could very legitimately be read as breadcrumbs for a queer identity for him could also be rooted in his trauma over Shannon's death, his family trauma, his PTSD, or his general anxiety over being enough for people. He can be read as having sexuality crises. But he can also be read as having other crises with the same results.

I'm not seeing a sexuality crisis for Eddie in the future. I just don't feel like that's where they're taking him. They're taking him somewhere -- he's got storylines coming up -- but I think they're going to have to do with his family, possibly his friendship with Buck, maybe his relationship (I think we can all agree Marisol isn't going to last, she's like the anti-Tommy in that she's been around way longer but has infinitely less of a presence), and Christopher. That's a lot to deal with just right there. If I'm wrong, I will be delighted to be wrong.

But.

I think the show will continue to prioritize and showcase Buck and Eddie's very deep and emotional friendship, which is revolutionary in its own quiet way. Another thing that makes me think they're setting Tommy up to be a long term love interest is that one of the first things they did with him was affirm that he will not come between Buck and Eddie, give him his own relationship with Eddie and Chris, and have him show that he understands and respects the depth of their bond. Not to mention they've integrated him with the firefam. No other of Buck's love interests have gotten this treatment (Taylor had the most contact with the firefam, but I don't think anyone would say she was integrated, LOL). And it shows how committed they are to maintaining Buck and Eddie's friendship as a key emotional element of the show. Tim has also said this, repeatedly.

People often say that there's no explanation for how Buck and Eddie are with each other if it's not romantic - I read a fantastic essay that pointed out that this statement is the reason their platonic friendship IS so important. Men should be able to be vulnerable and loving with each other without it being romantic, as women can be. If we're unable to see a loving friendship without interpreting it as romantic or sexual, what does that say about the kind of male friendships we see everywhere, that makes this one so different?

I know this is an old anti-Buddie argument and I'm not anti-Buddie nor do I mean it's wrong to see it as romantic. I still do. I'm saying if it's not, if it never is, what it is, is already valuable and special, especially when one of them is now openly queer and dating a man.

Anyway. That's where I am with it, and my interpretation of where the show is with it.

[luulapants]

Goncharov (1973) is a perfect example of how fandom creates a shell around a piece of media and then slowly erodes the core it was originally built upon.

I have been in two fandoms that echo chambered their way to a theory invalidating all of canon, thereby making the source material itself irrelevant. One is the “Scott is an unreliable narrator” theory from the Teen Wolf fandom, which uses an odd POV choice from the series finale (the protagonist telling the story of their final battle to a character in a flash-forward) as evidence that the entire SHOW is actually him telling a heavily edited version of the story to make himself look like the hero. The other is the “Ghostfacers Effect” from the Supernatural fandom which also uses a weird POV episode (told through camera footage from a ghost hunting crew) to argue that, because the characters swear (bleeped out) in that episode but nowhere else in the series, this is evidence that the whole series is censored and edited by the author/God Chuck.

Both fandoms had animosity between fans and show creators, especially from queer shipping bases. Both have a huge amount of fanworks for those ships, and both experienced the “fandom echochamber” effect. Reinforced by positive responses from those seeking fluffy, kinky, self-insert, or otherwise wish-fulfilling stories, popular fanon characterizations slowly drifted until many fanworks featured characters virtually unrecognizable as their canon counterpart.

These drifts are addressed differently throughout fandom: Most people look at it and say, “No, that’s not canon, but it’s fun to read sometimes anyway,” or “This is just my headcanon.” Fanfic readers who never watched the source material are oblivious and perpetuate fanon characterizations as canon. Canon lovers decry the OOC-ness and complain that they can’t find fics about the actual characters they want to read about.

And some start arguing that fanon is actually more correct than canon.

Thus, the erosion of canon begins. “These episodes don’t count because the head writer was garbage.” “They made the character act like that to advance the plot - they wouldn’t have actually done that.” “Everything after this season is basically a different show.” “This happened off-screen but the network was too cowardly to show us.” And, finally, “Canon isn’t real.”

There is no canon. It’s a fanon shell wrapped around a desiccated center.

It’s Goncharov (1973).

Why do we need a source material? Canon isn’t real!

No shit canon isn’t real. It’s a fictional show.

You can’t argue the objective reality of a fictional story.

“But what’s the truth?”

None of it. None of it is the truth. It’s about werewolves. It’s about a gay angel. It’s not real.

You can argue objective reality in real-life historical accounts, analyzing sources and biases and excluded viewpoints. In a fictional story with an unreliable narrator, you can argue about what the text of the narration reveals about them. But there is no argument to be had about the objective reality of a fictional character. They are the text. Everything else is interpretation.

Why can’t your interpretation be what it is: an interpretation? Why can’t your headcanon be a headcanon? Why do you feel the need to saw the ladder off from underneath you? Why does fanon need to be more “true” than canon? Why would you rather have a fandom built on nothing than a fandom built on a text that disagrees with it?

Goncharov (1973) is the perfect canon because it will never disagree with fanon. It has no voice to do so. It is the perfect void that people have been trying to carve into their respective canons for years.

As Andrey said before his final betrayal, “You once told me you built your empire from nothing. You can’t get something from nothing, Goncharov. And so I fear we are nothing.”

[elizabethrobertajones]

so after taking like half a year to watch the second doctor, I burned through Pertwee Doctor in what felt like a week. I was fully ready to formally induct him to the hall of favourites somewhere around the top, pending the wikipedia search to check he such wasn't a terrible guy IRL it made it into the personal life section as per the last 2, and -

[refuses to be in a film when a producer won't hire a gay friend]

good start, good start (already liked everything else I read but this is an incredible character merit mark for a guy in the 50s)

[the doctor is literally just him being himself on camera]

Oh, so I just want him to be my friend, I see

[he said the catalyst for leaving was the death of Roger Delgado among other changes in the last year]

Wait WHAT - is that why there was no more Master later on -

[Delgado died on location filming in Turkey, his own wiki page repeats that this was why Pertwee wanted out]

NO NO NO NO NNOOOO

HOW IS THIS HUGE BIT OF DOCTOR WHO HISTORY SOMETHING I NEVER HEARD ABOUT? I GREW UP IN SCI FI CONVENTION SPACES BUT EVERYONE JUST TALKS ABOUT TOM BAKER LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED BEFORE?

WHAT THE FUCK.

I am DISTRAUGHT, the Doctor/Master stuff from the first few seasons of the 3rd Doctor was absolutely INCREDIBLE television. I'd been assuming Delgado maybe had somewhere else to be. Heartily recommend watching that entire run of the show if you don't want to start any earlier.

Well, anyway. :(

I know people don't like the weird James Bond swing it all took with him but the show had been getting more action-y anyway under the 2nd doctor and then a guy who had literally been in the inner circle with all the WWII creatives like Ian Fleming and probably helped INSPIRE James Bond gets the role, I'm feeling like we're blessed and privileged from this perspective of getting to watch it as a historical artefact. I'm assuming based on the vague things I know about the 4th Doctor, the first I'm meeting with any preconceptions, that he's obviously not capable of bringing THAT to the table because that was no ordinary skillset, Pertwee was clearly a top 0.00001% of actors and Guys Who Had Lived A Life, who happened to be doing a silly BBC sci fi show. I'm expecting it to tone back on all these things.

And then in hindsight from the Doctor Who revival era, all the nonsense he brought, aside from the Venusian Karate and flying car and a few other extreme eccentricities, end up being stuff that feels much more modern and like the kind of antics the Doctor gets involved in. Like, he took the sonic screwdriver from being a couple of times joke into a multi-tool with the first joke about it not working on wood after he uses it through many episodes to escape or explode things, all of which is so common nature to the Doctor nowadays.

He also had far more of the casual behaviours we think of as The Doctor now, especially way less circumspect name dropping of historical people and a sense of having lived all around time and space, sometimes for extensive periods of time (he clearly like. LIVED on Venus to pick up all the various throwaway jokes about Venusian culture to explain things he does lmao). Weirdly, despite knowing he was a timetraveller from the jump, the previous two doctors were quite close-lipped about who they knew and had met, and rarely namedropped.

In any case, carrying on into 4th doctor era cautiously because I am 1: sad and 2: deeply let down by my perception of Whovian culture as I've been exposed to it, which sets a ridiculously high bar for Baker as the high watermark of Who and meanwhile I have just bid farewell to watching one of the most electric actors I've ever seen in anything ever while feeling wildly upset on his behalf that there isn't a bonkers appreciative fan culture for everything he did and he's written off as one of the quirky weird early doctors you don't need to bother with.

(AND THERE WAS WRITTEN QUEER DOCTOR MOMENTS. AT LEAST 2-3 OF THEM, GENDER AND SEXUALITY-WISE. HE GOT TALKED TO IN POLARI. ON TV IN 1972. THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT.)

[raiseyourbarkid]

when i first started watching 9-1-1, i was so excited to join the fandom.

s3 had just finished airing, so there was already plenty of fan content available, and i hurried over to ao3 and started reading the fics with the most kudos.

one of the very first ones i read involved Hen reaming Buck out for rescuing someone who didn't have a chance of surviving afterward. it felt oddly familiar, and then i realized—they basically copied the speech Gerrard gave in Hen Begins when she saved that woman in a landslide. they took the abuse that Hen endured because she was black woman, and gave it to Buck. took the words out of a racist misogynist's mouth and put them in Hen's, made her the abuser, just so Buck could be the victim.

that was one of the most popular fics at the time. that was my introduction to the 9-1-1 fandom. and unfortunately, it set a precedent for what to expect from it.

one of the next fics i read involved Buck's relationship with his father. this was before Buck Begins aired and we learned what his actual backstory was, so people liked to invent tragic backstories for him. nothing wrong with that in itself. except as i read this fic (another of the most-kudos'd at the time), i started to realize—they hadn't invented a backstory for Buck. they'd just stolen Chimney's and given it to him. because apparently the story was more tragic or meaningful if it happened to Buck instead of the asian man. (and as i recall, Chimney was made out to be a real jerk in that fic, too.)

and so it continued.

after that introduction, i always stayed on the fringes of the fandom. i still read some fic—obviously, not everyone was like that, and there were a lot of really good fanworks! but i didn't really engage beyond that. as i read more fic, another pattern was emerging: the fandom's treatment of women.

9-1-1 is far from the only fandom to have this problem. in several fandoms with popular mlm pairings, there is a lot of mistreatment of female characters, especially ones who are viewed as a "threat" to the pairing. but the way people reacted to these characters—namely, Abby, Taylor, and Ana—was somehow astounding to me. obviously none of them were perfect people—what character is?—but i couldn't imagine anything they'd done warranting the reaction i saw from fans. i had liked them as characters for the most part! i didn't see those romantic relationships working out in the long term, but i didn't see that as a reason to hate them, much less reach the levels of loathing the fandom seemed to. you'd think these women were cartoon villains, the way fandom portrayed them.

honestly, it had been YEARS since i'd seen a fandom with such bad misogyny, if ever. and somehow, i was surprised again. i'd foolishly believed that fans had been getting better about that kind of thing, about hating women over a ship. so many other fandoms managed to be kind to the women involved with the men they shipped, why was it so hard for this particular fandom?

and now all this.

Buck's finally in a queer relationship, but it's not the one people wanted, so the response is to be hateful and homophobic towards the other character involved? in what world does that make sense? how do people rationalize that to themselves?

i'm just exhausted. i'm realizing now that this fandom has never felt like a safe space and maybe never will.

in over 20 years of being in fandoms, i have NEVER been in one that was so determined to be hateful. and over a show that's predominantly about love and the power of human connections? it's downright baffling.

[gayalienwilde]

For this last day of celebration of Velvet Goldmine's 25th anniversary, I wanted to talk about why Velvet Goldmine is such an important movie to me. Nowadays shows and movies have gotten much better with their representation of marginalized groups, it's not always perfect, but it's definitely better than even just a decade ago. Growing up and seeing queer characters in mainstream media that, unless created to be a punchline or demonized, were sterilized and surrounded by a cast of cishet people with no connection to other queer people (maybe a partner but that's it), can give the wrong ideas to queer kids. Making it seem like queer people aren't a community but just a couple of random individuals in an otherwise heterosexual world, it's not only unrealistic but it creates a sense of isolation, forever the ugly duckling that never meets other swans. The lack of good representation is harmful to queer kids that might feel like they're never gonna find other people like them, this is the reason that token representation in media is not enough, it means nothing when a character's whole purpose is to show that queer people exist as a monolithic mass of sassy side-characters. For this reason, media about queer people made by queer people is extremely important because it shows different queer realities. In Velvet Goldmine's case, not only is the movie itself representation, but the story it tells is also about representation as seen from a young queer fan's perspective and how it affects him.

Seeing Brian and Curt be openly queer gives Arthur much more confidence in his own identity, this is shown when he imagines himself coming out to his parents through Brian's interview and when he goes out dressed like he wants and searches for the other glam kids. Even if both times he stops himself, in the first case because of his parents judgemental stares directed at Brian, and in the second case he's probably intimidated by the other kids that have been comfortable in their identities for much longer than him (which is kind of taken from Todd Haynes' own experience, in this interview he says that the older glitter girls were intimidating to him in middle school). This serves to show how representation can help the people that can't immediately be out and proud, because even if Arthur can't come out or make other queer friends he can find solace in Brian and Curt's music and general media presence, which is not only openly queer but sexual too. Later in the movie we will also see Arthur finally being able to be his true self and find his community in London, so it's not a surprise then seeing Arthur become a journalist when it was the interviews, magazines and newspapers that he'd read in his youth that helped him gain confidence in himself.

But for the viewer Arthur is he himself representation, his struggles and journey a mirror of the experiences of many young queer fans. For me personally the scene where Arthur tells his parents that he's going out and then sneakily takes off his jacket and goes out dressed like he wanted to be has always been the most relatable, him being happy walking in the crowd with his head held high reminds me of my first pride, even if I was too scared to approach anyone simply being surrounded by queer people and being able to be myself put me at ease, and later trying not to cry on the train back home while I took off anything that had rainbows on it and lying to my parents about where I had been, it's probably one of the biggest reasons I am so attached to Velvet Goldmine, I saw myself in it in a way I'd never seen in any other media before. Even 25 years after it's creation Velvet Goldmine's representation is still better than that of some recent media, because it doesn't shy away from showing the sad, the sexual and, most importantly, the happy parts of queer life. In the end, seeing Arthur go through a lot of different difficult situations both in his youth and in his adulthood and still manage to push through it all and find some connections with other queer people, first in London and then in the 80s when he's reunited with Curt, that gives me hope that no matter what we're all going through, we will keep making it, and most importantly it's a reminder that, to quote a Bowie song, you're not alone.

[lo-sulci]

What are heaven will be mine & coquette dragoon?

oh my goodness, thank you for asking!! the short answer: they are incredibly good visual novels that I highly recommend, especially if you're a fan of mecha, sci-fi, great world building, yuri, and generally just amazing art created by transfems

long answer:

heaven will be mine (aside from being where I got my url) is the second VN made by worst girls games, best known for their first outing, we know the devil (also an absolutely amazing game). hwbm tends to ask a bit more from the reader than its predecessor- while wktd almost exclusively featured three characters and dealt with rather plainly stated themes of alienation, loneliness, and religious trauma, hwbm presents a setting cloaked in metaphor where human will literally shapes the universe and psychic mech pilots read spacetime like a narrative.

the cast is bigger, with the three routes allowing insight into each of the three main girls in addition to members of the factions they belong to, all in service of a beautiful story about queer people connecting with each other and finding/making their place in a world that would want to deny them their happiness (and a lot of other things, but I'm simplifying some here). begging to be replayed over and over, i've had different characters and details stick out every time ive played through the game, while also gaining a deeper understanding of and appreciation for hwbm's characters and setting. I've loved hwbm and wktd for years and expect I will for years and years to come, which, incidentally, is why I got a pair of tattoos based on these games LMAO. in other words: they're fucking fantastic and hit like few other things out there, imo

coquette dragoon is one of those other things, because holy shit does it excel at hitting incredibly specific and relatable emotional beats that are liable to absolutely tear you apart. created by ivy burgeroise, who (by her own fantastic description) makes art for sad perverts, coquette takes place during a seemingly endless war between the lilac fleet and the duchy of lucia, two spacefaring societies inhabited by animal people who have very differing opinions on magic.

focusing (so far) on xiomara rosales of the lilac and lady honey rose of the duchy, coquette explores painfully human stories from both sides of the war. (to that point, I'd be remiss if I didn't advise you to look out for the content warnings- coquette gets into some very heavy stuff and speaks about it very frankly and honestly, which is to its credit imo but i also understand that that is not something that everyone is in a space to deal with.) more than anything else, I feel, coquette is a work that puts words to feelings that you'd never before been able to describe, and, through the vulnerability of its author in making something so emotionally honest, makes me want to be more openly and happily myself. all of this in a story that examines war, exploitation, and the societal structures that prop them up, among many, many, many other things. I could keep talking in circles gushing about it, because I am so so obsessed with what's been released so far and so indescribably excited to see how it progresses in the future, but to keep myself from going on for too too long i'll cap this off with a tweet about coquette that i frequently think of and is one of the best recommendations I can offer:

OH and also coquette has wibbleburger, which, as we all know, is your favorite

[alexissara]

Play Thirsty Sword Lesbians

So on bird app I talked about how many community copies of Thirsty Sword Lesbians there was and now 100s of people have claimed community copies of the game [Note Community Copies are free copies of PDFs which are on many itch.io TTRPGs and even community made TSL playbooks]. Since a ton more people now have access to my favorite game and one I've worked on for every edition so far as well as making a fan playbook, I wanted to talk about what is special about the system, what makes me love it so much, and why you might want to give it a try.

Thirsty Sword Lesbians is a simple game to understand but it refines even the most simple parts of it's design to make a better experience. In Thirsty Sword Lesbian's there is no failure or success. You roll d26 plus your modifier then you are either given a down beat, a mixed beat, or an upbeat. None of these mean you did what you intended. You can have a down beat where you knocked out the guard you had been trying to knock out but it turns out she was your girlfriends sister and without the context she just witnessed you assaulting her family. You may get an upbeat trying to do something and trip and fall and end up landing perfectly knocking away the sacred stone that the villain needs to turn the world into skeletons, with witnesses now thinking your amazing where in truth you have never quite been good at this.

Playbooks are designed with great intentionality to them each is designed with an emotional conflict at the heart. Where classes and playbooks can often be more like picking your powerset, in TSL your picking a struggle. It's not that other things might not be also bothering you but the conflict is something internally you are dealing with that's standing above the rest of the other conflicts you might have. This is an element that just feels very queer, we all have our problems, our traumas, and we work through them together. Each playbook also has a core mechanic that makes it stand out from the others, these have a narrative weight and a textual weight. These core mechanics typically take the form as some advantageous ability but are also deeply rooted in your conflict. They encourage you as a player to roleplay just by using the most basic aspect of your character.

I have to be real though, the thing that first made me fall head over heels with Thirsty Sword Lesbians was how funny and cool the adventures were. When I was reading the playtest version of the game, before I was brought on to write Yuisa Revolution and later The Matriarch, I was just playing a one shot and thought the name sounded fun. I read Best Day Of Their Life and just knew, this game was gonna be utterly my shit. At first I was just skimming like I do with most TTRPGs at first glance, but I read the first couple lines of the setting and I decided "fuck, I have to read all of this." I read the whole thing, made a character for my one shot and right after that session signed up to run multiple one shots of the game so others could get to play it because I loved it so much.

I don't normally like to play in premade settings but each of these are simple enough to really build on with enough going on that made it easier to run if you didn't want to get super creative and make a bunch of new shit. It really made me fall in love with setting writing in a way I just didn't before. I had gotten asked to work on Mutants and Master Minds before I TSL but I thought it was so boring working on the setting I quit and left money on the table. However, when April approached me to write a setting, I said yes, right away, no hesitation and now I work in TTRPG design. I had done TTRPG design work before but I wasn't locked in after quitting comics, it was how exciting the settings were that got me so inspired to create.

While many refer to Thirsty Sword Lesbians as a Powered By The Apocalypse game and by all means it is in a lot of senses, I think Powered By Lesbians is a very distinct flavor. It cuts out everything bad about PBTA and adds so much to the table. Chiefly among them is the smitten mechanic which is a mechanic I wish like every game had. It is one of the most clever pieces of game design ever convinced of. Being smitten has you do a moment of dramatic introspection, while I am one for more bright and cheery and less drama focused stuff, it's amazingly juicy hooks for a GM to get into. It not only allows you to put out your characters personal doubts about a potential relationship but it also says to the GM and everyone playing "I like this character, I want to see more of them, I want to explore where this goes." It's also in addition a way for players to tell each other "I want to be romantic with your character" and if they chose to get smitten back it's mechanically saying without even needing an out of game chat "Let's roleplay some romance."

Thirsty Sword Lesbians is really something special, I could gush on and on but already a lot given I worked on it and am currently working on it but I just wanted to talk about why the system is special to me. I hope I got you interested and I don't make any royalties on TSL sales [yet] so like I am not really biased here outside of the pages I worked on and that I made friends with a lot of folks who worked on it over my time working on it and after. Go clash swords and cross hearts.

[sflow-er]

To me, Stedrika always felt forced and not natural. It was pretty obvious to me in S2 they were the result of fan service. It was so ironic Lisa wrote them into canon because apparently there were fans who shipped them and when it did happen, the pairing was met with backlash and vitriol.

I assume you're the same anon, so hello again!

Ironic as in 'happening in a way contrary to what is expected', yes. Ironic as in 'typically causing wry amusement because of this', no.

[Putting a cut here because this got a bit long as usual.]

Criticising Stedrika and Lisa's decision to write them in is perfectly fine. We can enjoy and love the show even if we don't think it's 100% perfect.

But I want to make it very clear that no matter how anyone personally feels about Stedrika or any other ship, or the actors or writers, or fan service in general, nothing justifies spewing hate at them for it. I am thankfully not on Xitter myself, but from what I've heard from my lurker friend, the anons who occasionally wandered over here to call Felicia various misogynist slurs and spread baseless rumours that "Lisa's pet ship" would have more screen time in S3 than Wilmon were only the tip of the iceberg.

It's also good to note that the hate wasn't the only thing that discouraged people from shipping Stedrika after S2. For example, I also saw plenty of likely well-meaning posts where it was suggested that shipping the "mean white girls" was somehow racist when Rosh existed as a canonically queer POC. The same thing was also said about shipping Henry and Walter instead of Nils with someone. And of course, it is very valid to demand more queer POC rep and fanworks about them! I just don't understand how discouraging people from liking other ships was supposed to help (and this also connects to the posts saying "no one" cared about characters other than Wilmon that became commonplace during the wait for S3, about which I have already written too much before).

So it's hard to say how many people might have actually liked Stedrika even back in S2 if the general response had been less negative. I find that very sad, even if I was never particularly invested in them and actually felt similar to how you did watching S2.

On the one hand, it's good to have different takes and ships in the fandom whether they are our own thing or not. It enriches the fandom in general and may even enrich our own experience later on. I for one am way more interested in Stedrika now than I ever was before, and that's mostly down to discussions I've had and posts I've read on the non-Wilmon fringe of the fandom that have made me reflect on my relationship to various characters.

On the other hand, once you add something to canon, it is canon, whether it was meant to be there from the start or not. I think allocating just a little more time to Stedrika in order to wrap up their story properly would have been a better choice than dropping them completely (ETA: which I guess is the other thing they could have done instead of what we got). Yeah, there were plenty of other, more central plot lines that were also cut down in S3, but I don't think eradicating a huge chunk of the WLW rep they had added in S2 would have been a particularly popular or responsible choice.

And of course, the writers could have also taken various other paths with the story, e.g. making Stella's crush unrequited and showing how that affected their friendship. I personally think those other paths would have been more interesting than making them endgame (and would have also cast S2 in a new light upon rewatch!), but unfortunately they would have required even more screen time.

[meruz]

another ask post

i mean i also read it because a friend whos rly into queer SFF fiction circles recced it but she did kinda lead with "the writer used to write hs fanfic...tasmyn..taz...?" to which i replied

of COURSE I read the locked tomb because i heard taz had written a book. of course. ill consume most any media made by a beloved homestuck bnf. thats also why i played undertale. and read like..snotgirl. and idk... watched the new dub of neon genesis evangelion.

if u made homestuck fanwork 10 years ago and havent even made it since chances are I still remember and I love you for it.

sdlkfhsg its funny you sensed that because that drawing did in fact start kinda more........ well, I'd be lying if I said my hands never wrought a drawing toeing over the pg-13 line LOL...

NOT to say i have a secret stash of porn or anything. in general im more interested in the implication of sexuality or mature themes over any explicit depiction. like everything i draw is so softcore itd almost feel silly to make a nsfw acc for anything.

but im not rly jumping to post anything on main either bc i get the sense i have a lot of kids in my social media following. it varies from site to site and fandom to fandom but the themes in my work often circle around childhood, coming of age etc and in general i like stories about kids so the fandoms i draw for have a lot of kids in them. even stuff like IT (stephen king) which is about kids but isn't necessarily for kids.. there were a lot of kids in that fandom lol.

actually thats why ive been censoring swears in comics lately because the tmnt fandom comes across to me as a little young...IDK I've had MULTIPLE people ask me what "sodomize" means because of the joke in this post and I'm like... I Cannot be the one to explain this to you. you have to look it up on your own klfsdhsdg like i wouldn't be doing this if i were doing a comic for mgs or even homestuck wherein the characters textually swear constantly LOL but sometimes u gotta change tacks depending on the faces u see in the crowd yknow.

i HAVE been thinking abt drawing nsfw of sunspot/richard rider/kobak from x-men red just because that comic seemed to be really asking for it. who knows.. if the need rly arises maybe my separate account policy will change.

its rly more a matter of the fact that i havent read/watched much of any other iterations... im sure id like most lol. I like most things related to my interests regardless of quality. i rly like the marvel ultimate alliance games for instance. sometimes seeing my fave guy is enough he doesnt have to be well written LOL. i dont exactly have a wealth of free time tho thats the real impediment.

i did watch the 2007 movie on new years eve and found it quite charming overall. and i have read about 30-40 issues between the mirage and idw comics. still feels like im barely scratching the surface but i liked em. i rly want to read all the sophie campbell stuff bc i think her work is interesting. jason aaron will be a mixed bag i think lmao. i say as the worlds biggest Wolverine and the X-Men (2011) fan.

hmm this is kinda hard bc i feel like i naturally draw very loose and the hard part for me is tightening it up. maybe some suggestions tho...

1) hand excercises. i think its easy to forget this when many artists sit in front of the computer all day but drawing is a physical activity u do with ur actual...bodys...muscles lol. if u feel urself tightening up it might help to strech (any google search for "artist hand excercises" should yield good results) or do a page of loose practice strokes like..big circles. long lines. scribbles. that kinda thing. whatever feels good for ur hand. this is also just good to do as a general warm up before u sit down for any drawing sesh.

2) draw further away from the canvas. as a general rule...when ur painting traditionally you do the big strokes with your whole arm outstreched and a long handled brush. and when you do the details its smaller wrist movements and a shorter handled brush. so it might help to take a step back or push back from ur chair a little.. or hold ur tablet a little further away. and hold your pen further away from the nib.

3) change mediums / brush types. some brushes and mediums are more suited to loose sketching and some more inclined towards detail work. so changing ur tool could help. also! i personally have this problem where sometimes if im using a brush i feel really familiar with the pressure to make a "good" "finished" "perfect" drawing is greater... if i want to force myself to loosen up ill switch to a tool i dont use as often so it feels like the pressure is off. a lot of times for me this is switching from digital to traditional. but sometimes its switching from a small pen to a big marker. or a smooth pen to a textured one. or a nice brush to a shitty dried up marker.

but also every body is different so i dont think these tips will work for everyone. u should listen to what ur body and mind tell u and how drawing feels to you

bro just sign up and set it up i dont think theres much to it... i dont rly think too much abt my itch.io store because its digital goods so u just upload the file and let it do its thing. no distribution work needed on ur part. youll notice i barely even advertise my itch unless i have smth new on there lol.. its easy. but good luck!!!

idk if im the best person to ask this im more a comic fan than i am a comic professional... a comic hobbist.

well. scott mcclouds understanding comics and making comics are good books on the craft. i think i had to buy them for a class in art school once.

other than that idk just keep at it. comics are really laborious i think for a lot of people the hardest part is sitting down and doing it.

i think a lot of people have a very instinctive understanding of how to read comics and what they look like so whatever you think seems like good way to tell the story you have in mind, its probably right. if u get stuck, study comics that have done something similar. most people in comics are relatively self taught and actually it can be problematic bc you can tell when a lot of comic artists are all copying the same like 5 old white guys LMAO. but on the flip side if you make sure to reference and study broadly your comics will almost assuredly feel unique.

sorry im responding to this anyways. this is just a really nice ask. i like when people reference my older work bc i feel like sometimes theyre subtly implying it wasnt very good LMAOOO. but its true! at least compared to the work i make now ^^ and the fact that im still making art is whats keeping me from being embarassed abt how much of my old art just floats around online lmao im never ashamed to be growing and learning. isnt that a nice thought <3

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

How Steven Universe Changed my Life

Aside from Ben 10, the one show I've posted the most about on this blog has been Steven Universe. I know my story may not be that unique but SU has meant a lot to me which is why I've defended it so passionately. For me, SU helped me become a better person, pushed me to explore different interests and helped me realize who I am.

I first watched the show when it was airing and I didn't know how to feel about it. Sometimes I liked it especially episodes like 'Jailbreak' or 'That Will Be All'. Other times, it felt too much like Clarence or Uncle Grandpa with the rougher episodes like 'Frybo'. As time went on I slowly stopped caring about it, partially because of the long hiatuses and because I started to think it wasn't good. At the time, I held some homophobic beliefs because of the culture I was raised in. I, thankfully, never watched Lily Orchard's video but I did watch a similar essay by Misanthropony which was just as bad.

Around 2 years ago, I started getting back into the series. At the time, I was a lot angrier and was a bit of an edgelord. A lot of that was anger at the evangelical community I was raised in and anger at feeling helpless. Kids and teachers at that school held a lot of homophobic beliefs and would often make gross jokes or talk about beating up trans people in the bathroom. I felt like a black sheep at the time, being one of the few poc there and being a dinosaur lover when many kids were creationists who'd lecture me about how wrong that is. Talk about parenting was what got me interested in SU again with the episode 'Mr. Universe'. I never finished the show so I decided to give it another chance. I started watching SU clips on YouTube and one of the first I watched was "Stronger Than You". For someone who felt angry and helpless, that song gave me something to feel happy about in that homophobic environment.

SU soon became my favorite show and I began rewatching it all the time. Characters like Lapis, Garnet and Steven quickly became my favorites because I could relate to them and because Ruby and Sapphire were important to me like most lgbtq youth. 'Mindful Education' became important to me because it helped me control a lot of my anger issues. Before, my interests were "edgy" guy things like the Star Wars Prequels and Jurassic World. But, I began to be more comfortable with enjoying "girly" things. A Wrinkle in Time became one of my favorite sci-fi books because it made a cameo in SU which pushed me to read it. By that time I had moved to a different school and was able to connect with other kids at a Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) and was able to figure out more about myself without shame or as much fear.

SU was the jumping point for a lot of my current interests. Since many in the fandom liked The Owl House for its similar themes and queer rep, I decided to watch that and came away loving it with Luz and Willow being characters I could relate to. I got back into Ben 10, which I also watched growing up, because of its similarities to SU, being a anime inspired show about a magical alien boy protecting humanity while dealing with normal adolescent issues. SU was also very anime inspired which pushed me to give it another chance as I used to think it was cringe or dumb. Thanks to SU, I became a fan of Makoto Shinkai's films like Suzume and Weathering With You as well as ghibli films like Spirited Away and Kiki's Delivery Service. I also started watching magical girl anime with Madoka Magica and Princess Tutu being my favorites and am slowly getting through Sailor Moon. Some of my other favorites include Neon Genesis Evangelion, A Whisker Away and Ghost in The Shell. I do have an interest in watching Revolutionary Girl Utena, which was a big inspiration for SU, and The Promised Neverland as well. I also fell in love with Lisa Hannigan’s (Blue Diamond’s VA) music. All that was because of SU.

Over the past year, I've been figuring out my gender identity, starting with that GSA, and started to realize I was trans (MTF), which may have not happened without SU. It's why seeing the SU critical community bash the show for its representation not being good enough or calling it fascist makes me sad as it's been important for a lot of people like me. It's also why right wing fans, who do exist, irk me so much when they weaponize the message of acceptance and characters like Andy to demand people accept their homophobic beliefs. The show has shaped a lot of my philosophy about issues with relationships, seeing Greg and Rose leave their toxic families or Connie helping her mom, Priyanka, learn to let go and stop worrying. Some may hate him, but Future Steven is an important character for me as I can relate to his anger and once being a cheerful child before growing up more bitter and weary. I know that SU isn't perfect and there is some stuff I wish was written differently but I still love it because of how it changed and possibly saved my life. It helped me get through high school and gave me something to feel happy about in a world that's filled with hate and violence.

In short, thank you Steven Universe and thank you Rebecca Sugar. I wouldn’t be who I am without you.

@ankle-beez @love-takes-work

[jasshandssssss]

i’m sorry i keep seeing so much hate bc of the newly introduced queer bridgerton plots that stray from the books and i just have to get my feelings out (i have never read the books but ive heard about them and their plots)

so the two bridgerton siblings that are queer in the tv show are francesca and benedict, but almost all the hate i’ve been seeing is for francesca’s queerness, and my thoughts on this are that- i understand that in book francesca and michael’s story, michael’s gender DID matter to the story, and that genderbending him in particular as opposed to any of the other siblings’ love interests, was kind of stupid move. people who have had infertility issues felt represented in the book’s story and feel as if that has been taken away from them. all valid reasons to dislike the change the show has made.

now, i will say that the show could still make some other plot changes in francesca’s story to still represent women with infertility issues, but still let her end up with michaela. however, feeling upset at the show writers right now because we still don’t know if they WILL do that, is valid.

However the hate where people just simply say “francesca and benedict aren’t gay stop turning straight characters gay ” is just homophobic, and will be viewed as homophobic by others, simply because the reason you chose to be upset isn’t because of francesca’s deep and meaningful book story has been taken away from you, but because they’ve made her queer. if you don’t give additional context to express your dislike, and simply show anger at them being queer, you will come off as homophobic.

in terms of benedict, i don’t think hate against his plot is valid. like i said, most angry fans usually talk about francesca’s story more and don’t hate on benedict’s bisexuality, but there are still many that say “Bring michael and sophie back” or “Why did you ruin Benedict’s plot.” like ??? He’s BISEXUAL and hasn’t even met Sophie yet, for all you know, the show could have the exact same plot as his book. his activities in s3 don’t have anything to do with his main love story. it’s stupid to me that people start hating without understanding that bisexuality means you can like men AND women. also ppl have been saying benedict was queer coded since s1 don’t act surprised lmao.

to sum it up, homophobic hate is stupid, but ppl who are genuinely heartbroken over francesca’s story potentially completely changing in what it stood for and represented are valid (though i would wait and see what the show has in store for her season before i assume what the new plot will be).

[heavilykaffeinated]

Okay I’ve had a good day to contemplate this shit- let’s do this. I’m going to start with the fact that I found tsats aggressively disappointing- if you have an issue with that, leave now.

Addressing the highly debated concept of Will and Nico being incredibly OOC- I 100% agree. That doesn’t mean that teenagers don’t change, but they took away so much of both Will and Nicos personalities. Will genuinely lost so much- he used to be a very fun and honest enjoyable character even under stress, but we didn’t get any of that. While I like the concept of Will being rather uninformed and having a really hard time in the underworld, it was overdone and Shoved Down Our Throats from the beginning. That whole scene when Will was talking to Persephone??? (That’s an ENTIRE other post lmk if you want that) He just kept being like ‘ew this place that’s clearly special to you? Yucky.’ He insisted on going on a quest with Nico (which other people were clearly more well suited for,) then proceeded to insult Nico’s second home quite often. It’s like Riordan and Oshiro squished his character and made him two dimensional.

As for Nico, he’s missing a lot. I understand coming to terms with some trauma and your personality changing, (which is literally what the entire book is about) but it’s so extreme. They took the Nico out of Nico. This boy would never come out to an entire camp in some huge display to ask a boy out. Come on.

Uhm PERCY AND ANNABETH??? Bruh what was that scene??? Though the whole page 69 thing was amusing- they were just like Oopsie Poopsie We Fucked Up but you get to deal with it have fun 🤩. (Again, that whole scene was really OOC and an entire other post)

Uh oh the big one- the really weird queer rep. Before y’all come at me, I’m gay as hell, this shit isn’t new. Anyway, it felt really forced. The queer rep in ToA was amazing because it was casual and normal- this was not that. Why were demons coming out to them. Tf. The acceptance subplot is amazing in theory, but again, it was Shoved Down Our Throats. It’s like they slapped a rainbow sticker on the book and suddenly it’s supposed to be amazing. It felt shallow and artificial.

What on earth was Will doing down there??? Think about it- we have Hazel, Reyna, and a few other characters who were either not mentioned or barely mentioned who would have been better suited to the underworld.

Will and Nicos relationship felt really toxic and superficial- I get that it’s their first relationship and it’s not going to be perfect, but they were arguing the whole time, they had no chemistry, and they seemed like they hated each other.

On a similar note, this book lost the whole Acceptance thing from the other people Nico loves. HAZEL??? REYNA??? APOLLO??? They were all left out, and any mention of them felt like a rushed afterthought.

Another big one- the trauma motif. (Again speaking as a biatch with ptsd) Nico was scarily self aware- this whole book is supposed to be about Nico growing and being a kid, yet it was always Trauma Trauma Trauma Childhood Trauma, and he was aggressively self aware- there was no growth there. Things like that take time- and that wasn’t represented. It was like somebody snapped their fingers and Nico became a really angsty self aware therapist.

The conflict of the book felt half baked. Literally why did Nyx care. I don’t know. Does she? There wasn’t much action. (except for the dream sequences, those were good.) Tartarus didn’t feel dangerous or scary. I liked the idea of the Cocoa Puffs, but that also felt half baked. Instead of being like ‘these are literally you’ Nyx was like ‘these are your children lmao 🫃👶👶👶’ that storyline had so much potential but it didn’t really work out.

The whole damn thing read like fanfiction. It felt like Twitter fan service

Also Will was ignored??? This book was supposed to be about Nico and Will, but it ended up being just Nico. I wanted to see anxiety Will :(

Rick Riordan has done really well creating engaging middle reader books in the past, but this felt very Fourth Grade Learn About Gay People And Trauma.

Overall, there were good parts to the book, but I didn’t like it. The entire thing felt half baked and two dimensional. I’m going to reread some of Riordans work, and read some of Oshiros books to try to find the disconnect.

[faeriecinna]

WIP Questionnaire

Thank you for the tag @buffythevampirelover !

Project.Seraph :)

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

The character of Nevaeh was my leap of faith into this one. Previously I had only ever really written horror/thriller and I had always been too afraid to create my own fantasy world, but for some reason I just couldn't leave the idea of my broken little angel alone. The more I imagined her in different scenarios and fleshed out different characters and a plot, I knew I had to write it seriously or I'd never forgive myself.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Honestly I really fuck with Plenty by Aeseaes for this one. The whole vibe is immaculate and it really encapsulates the mood of the story through the lyrics.

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

I truly love them all for different reasons (except maybe Marco, fuck you Marco.) Though Nevaeh is my sweet innocent angel baby could never do anything wrong ever loml, and Queen Reinette is a favourite because I adore a good villain and I am very proud of the way I've written her character.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

I'm hoping the same kind of people who tore through Cassandra Clare's The Mortal Instruments will find my books to be worth of a good read. Also my fellow 'Merlin made me realise I was queer' pals. Not quite as high fantasy but I think P.Seraph is sometimes quite reminiscent of The Witcher too.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

There are so many scenes that I've already imagined and desperately want to write, so writing everything in between to bridge the scenes together is so painful lmao. What do you mean I have to write about the journey to the castle before I get to write my big dramatic inciting incident???

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

A lot of the first half is based in the woodland so many animals are encountered, though crows and various other corvids are a recurring motif. Also a lot of horses! Most characters travel by horse, including my little band of travelling thieves and the Queen's guards. In the marketplace there is also a very well known cat that belongs to the tavern-owner and likes to steal from people's stalls lmao

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Mostly by foot, by horse, or by a carriage drawn by a horse.

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

Still the first draft rn but it's coming along smoothly. I have also been writing Project.Ink and fleshing out Project.Claw so I haven't been dedicating quite as much time to P.Seraph as I would like.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

Who doesn't love a good enemies to lovers, right? This story absolutely reeks of betrayal, dark royalty, doomed love, war.... idk it has everything in it that I wanted to read all in one story and I hoped some people could relate

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

Obviously, I hope to be published one day, and if it is, my hope is that it will be one of those books that leaves people reeling after they've read it. I want people to connect to it, to cry over it, to read it so many times it doubles in size. I want people to be as violently in love with my characters as I am and I want people to relate to the story in whichever way they see fit. I want it to mean something to someone. One day. Eventually.

no pressure tags for @melpomene-grey, @goldxdarkness, @darkangel319 :)

Blank under the cut

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

my thoughts on sandy milkovich:

(buckle up because i have a lot to say, as always)

so, for starters, one thing that i’m not incredibly fond of is how her character isn’t really original. like, it is, but it isn’t. her name is sandy, for christ’s sake- which is literally one letter away from mandy, also not to mention the fact that she was practically raised as mickey’s sister. and in many way’s she’s like a female version of mickey, i’ll explain why:

obviously one way she’s like mickey is that she dated a gallagher, but i think that the way she acts in the relationship is very much like how mickey acts in gallavich. well…acted. more seasons 1-5 gallavich.

she’s a bit less… idk, fearful than mickey was? i mean, it’s understandable why mickey was so fearful- have you seen terry? did you watch 3x666? or 4x11? i would’ve been fearful if i were him, too. we don’t know much about how sandy was raised, but she probably wasn’t raised well. again, she seemingly was raised as mickey’s sister rather than his cousin (he does have a brother who is also his cousin, to be fair, but that’s not what i mean) but sandy’s parents may not have been as threatening or terrifying as terry was. terry does seem to be the most well-known milkovich. everybody knows terry. maybe sandy’s parents were homophobic in a way where they looked down on queer people, but didn’t literally murder them. you can see how much more open she is with the whole “he’s gay, terry. i’m gay. people are gay.”

but sandy can be mean. and so can mickey. i love them both to death but sandy’s fight with debbie in season 11 really reminded me of gallavich in seasons 2/3. specifically “you’re nothing but a warm mouth to me” and “you love me; and you’re gay” she wins the fight by using something to hurt debbie, and it works.

and what was the fight all about? sandy leaving her husband, who she was with as a teenager but felt no love for him whatsoever, and also leaving her kid. sound familiar? ian never held yevgeny and svetlana against mickey, but it’s similar.

and when they break up on the front porch all i, and many other gallavich fans, could think of was “5x12!!!!”

also she was a drug dealer and in juvie and it was implied that she was in prison. this isn’t exclusive to mickey, the only milkovich i can think of (other than yevgeny) who hasn’t been incarcerated is mandy, but we don’t know for sure that she hasn’t been to juvie before. she’s certainly done things that could land her in prison for a very long time.

and i feel like with the same amount of time and development sandy can be as great as her cousin is, because mickey changed A LOT over the seasons which made him even more lovable.

but sandy’s ending was pathetic and i hate the writers for it. it was unnecessary and damaged debbie’s character when she didn’t need it because sandy left literally 4 EPISODES BEFORE THE SERIES FINALE. the only thing that sandy leaving added was the evidence that debbie would stick with franny no matter what, but fuck that, it was too late in the show for most people (not me ofc) to give a shit about that. people overlooked that a lot.

i feel like sandy helped out debbie’s character a lot, while simultaneously fucking her up even more. but i loved sandy for most of her run on the show, i just wish that they had done more- or less. idk. they made her character more complicated than she needed to be, and it’s hard to put my feelings about her into words because they didn’t give us enough to work on.

i think that her relationship with royal was bad, and i think that he was probably a creep who impregnated her, and i bet that he knew she was a lesbian after they got married and things probably got messy. the way that royal described sandy’s choices to prince was good, though. i respected that.

anyway, if they kept making shameless seasons (which they wont) i would love a sandy redemption. possibly like the returns of mickey, jimmysteve, or kelly.

im not reading this over before i post it so if it doesn’t make sense then oh well