#neutral patton

[loganslowdown4]

Patton: Brr, I’m a little chilly.

Roman: Here, love, take my jacket.

Patton: Thank you, angel!

Remus: *looking at Janus* Uh, yeah, I’m feeling cold myself JanJan!

Janus: Remus, darling, you literally set fire to your jacket, yelling that God herself didn’t control how you felt temperature-wise, and the weather was all in our minds. I mean this as a lesson, baby, suck it up—

[randomnerd737]

[icy-cold-bitch-latte]

I always see things for the reader stealing *their* clothes, but what about the sides stealing the *readers* clothes? How would they react?

Anon I love this idea so freaking much omg

The Sides stealing the reader's clothes

Warnings: fluff, Roman angst (sorry), suggestive stuff for Logan and Remus

Patton

Patton couldn't find his cat cardigan anywhere (and no, it wasn't around his shoulders, he checked)

He'd taken it off and set it down for just a second, but when he went to put it back on it wasn't there

Unfortunately, you weren't in your room when he checked to see if you'd let him borrow something to wear

He didn't like taking things from you without getting your permission first, but he needed something to warm him up

Spotting a scarf hanging up, he gently took it down and wrapped it snugly around his shoulders (or "cold-ers", as he often called them), making a mental note that he should do something nice for you in return so you wouldn't be too upset with him taking it

After he left, he wandered downstairs to find himself a cookie to eat, and maybe even a second cookie if he was feeling dangerous

You were already in the kitchen, wearing the exact same cat cardigan Patton had been looking for earlier 

When the two of you saw each other in the opposite one's clothes you both burst out laughing until your sides hurt

"So that's where my cardigan went!" Patton exclaimed, trying to catch his breath

"Sorry for just sorta taking it, I always thought it looked really cute on you and just wanted to try it on"

"Well, I'm sorry for taking your scarf without asking, I had to keep my cold-ers warm somehow"

You giggled before holding up a plate with cookies on it. "Want one?" You offered

He smiled before picking one up. "Cookies may be sweet, but they're no where near as sweet as you." He kissed your cheek while you blushed

Roman

Roman was devastated. He'd tried out for an important role in a play he really wanted to be in earlier that day, and to say he blew the audition was an understatement

His ego was bruised, and his heart was hopelessly crushed. There was absolutely nothing that could ever make him feel happy again... except for maybe spending some quality time with his devoted and loving partner, that is

He went to search the house for you, hoping you'd be there to give him some words of encouragement (and also cuddles), but when he couldn't find you he got even most frustrated and upset

Had his beloved darling somehow found out about his awful performance and decided that because of it, they were going to leave him for good?

Wrapping himself in one of the jackets he'd stolen from you ages ago, he collapsed on your bed in a fit of tears, sobbing into your pillow until he eventually tired himself out and fell asleep

You ended up finding him still lying there later that day after you'd gotten back from helping Patton shop for groceries

Walking over to the bed, you sat down next to him and began gently stroking his hair until he woke up a few moments later

Upon seeing that it was you, he wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tight, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes yet again

Having known about what had happened from Logan, you hugged him back, gently consoling him the best you could

"It's okay, my sweet prince. Don't worry, I'm here"

He was able to calm himself down a lot quicker than before, simply by you just being there

You hugged him for a bit longer before asking, "Roman, is that my jacket that I thought I lost a couple weeks ago?"

He hesitated before letting out a muffled "Maybe" as a response

You chuckled, holding him close. "It's alright, you can keep it. It looks good on you"

Logan

Logan woke up that morning to find you curled up next to him, fast asleep after the previous night's, ahem, activities~

The sun hadn't quite rose yet, and since he didn't want to run the risk of waking you up he decided he'd just get dressed in the dark. I mean, how hard could it be?

Very hard, as he would find out just moments later after he'd managed to put both shoes on the wrong feet and his button up on backwards (twice)

Once he finished dressing himself to the best of his ability, he went downstairs to put on a pot of coffee, making sure to leave some behind for you when you woke up

You made your way to the kitchen not long after, yawning loudly as you shuffled down the stairs

"Good morning, Star," Logan greeted you affectionately, giving you a kiss on the forehead before handing you a cup of coffee made just the way you liked

You hummed at the nickname, leaning into his kiss before going to sit down at the kitchen table

It wasn't until after you'd gotten up for a refill that you noticed something you hadn't be awake enough to spot when you first came down

"Logan, did you inspect your outfit closely enough this morning when you got dressed?"

He furrowed his brow, confused by your unusual line of questioning. "Well, considering I did most of it in the dark so as not to wake you, no, I didn't. Why?"

"Because you're wearing my pants, that's why." You gestured towards the lower part of his body with your coffee cup, watching with a bemused look on your face as he realized the mistake he made earlier when picking out his clothes

"I- I am so sorry, I had no idea-" Logan stuttered, cheeks tinted pink at his obvious embarrassment

"Oh, honey, don't worry, I'm not upset," you reassured him, setting down your coffee on the counter. "In fact-" you made your way over to him, playing with the end of his tie in a teasing fashion, "I think it's kind of hot, you wearing my clothes and all"

Safe to say neither one of you were seen again that day until some time after lunch

Virgil

Virgil had spent most of the day at your house hanging out with you

When it came time for him to leave, he found himself not wanting to, so he was ecstatic when you offered to let him stay the night and then go home the next day

Until he remembered he didn't have anything to wear to sleep in

I mean, sure, his everyday clothes were pretty comfortable, but he really didn't want to spend the night in a pair of jeans

You let him borrow clothes before in the past, so he figured you wouldn't mind if he grabbed a pair of sweatpants to sleep in

He had just slipped them on when you came out of the bathroom, toothbrush still in hand from where you'd been brushing your teeth

"Are those my Tim Burton pajama bottoms?"

He froze upon hearing your voice, afraid you'd be upset, but when he looked up to see a slight smirk on your face he realized you were just messing with him

"Oh, uh, yeah, they are. I didn't have any other clothes on me, so I decided to borrow yours. I hope that's okay," he said sheepishly

"Don't worry, it's totally fine," you reassured him. "Besides, you look cute wearing my clothes"

You gave him a wink before going to return your toothbrush to the bathroom, leaving behind a very flustered emo boy

Janus

If there was one thing Janus hated, it was cold weather

Since he was part snake, he was cold blooded like reptiles, and therefore unable to regulate his body temperature properly, causing him to be particularly drowsy and out of it on colder days

Luckily they lived in Florida, so it was pretty much always warm, but that didn't mean there wasn't the occasional cold front that passed through

Usually he'd have his cape wrapped him on chilly days like this, but unfortunately for him Remus had gotten a strange combination of glitter glue and what he hoped was mayonnaise on it the day before, meaning it had to be washed

He'd been sulking around the house looking for something warm to wear, glaring at anyone who dared to hold his gaze for too long when he spotted one of your sweatshirts laying on the back of the couch

Now, he often found sweatshirts and such to be quite unrefined, and therefore unfit for such a sassy, stylish snake boi such as himself to wear, but he was desperate at this point, and he would do almost anything to feel warm again

Making sure he was alone, he slipped it on, feeling himself become all nice and toasty almost immediately

He'd felt so relaxed and comfortable he hadn't even heard you come down the stairs, looking for the exact same sweatshirt that he happened to have on his body

"Janus, what are you doing?"

He nearly jumped out of his skin at the question, slowly turning around to see you standing at the bottom of the stairs, watching him with an amused look on your face

"Well, I totally didn't steal your sweatshirt because I was cold," he remarked slyly, trying to keep himself from panicking at having been caught

You playfully rolled your eyes at him. "Uh huh, sure. But next time you get cold and you need something warm to borrow, just ask, okay? I don't mind sharing. Plus, I'd hate for my favorite little snake boy to freeze to death"

It was now his turn to roll his eyes, jokingly scoffing at you while you gave him a small boop on the nose

Remus

You were in the shower when Remus popped up in your room like he normally does when he gets bored

He was upset you were taking so long, and while he was tempted to pull a Psycho on you (with a fake knife, of course) he remembered that last time he did something like that you had threatened to shove a bar of soap down his throat if he ever tried it again

While he didn't want to face your wrath for the second time around, he also desperately needed to be entertained, or else he felt as if he might combust

Seeing the pile of clothes you'd been wearing earlier that day lying on the floor gave him a rather naughty idea for a surprise he could have for you once you were done in the bathroom

When you got out of the shower a couple minutes later, you were immediately suspicious to how quiet it was

Usually Remus used your shower time to pull off some sort of crazy, elaborate scheme he could never get away with under your supervision, so complete silence couldn't be a good thing

You hesitantly walked into your bedroom, towel wrapped around you as you quickly scanned the area, trying to see where he might be hiding

"Boo!" He said, jumping out from your closet wearing only a pair of underwear, which to you was nothing new. Until you noticed it was yours, that is

"Remus, are you- are you wearing my underwear?" You asked in disbelief as he paraded around your bedroom, clearly proud of himself

"Yup! And I must say, they fit perfectly," he said flirtatiously, giving you a wink

"Good to hear. Now, take my clothes off, and put your clothes back on. I need to get the dirty laundry together so I can wash it soon"

"If you want them back so badly, why don't you come over here and take them?" He taunted, wiggling his hips

You let out a sigh. It was going to be a long day

~

(Also I feel kinda bad because Virgil's isn't as long as the rest but I didn't want to rewrite his section so 😭 it is what it is ig)

Sanders Sides masterlist | 🏷 taglist: @iloveentrapta

[oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat]

Invisibility vs Visibility

Theory Time!

A shorter theory because brain is low on braincells. Enjoy :D

Edit: haha, nope. Not short. It is, in fact, very long. Biggo post. Extra long motherf*cker. Giraffe-long theory we've got here.

Disclaimer: I am referring to the character Thomas Sanders, not the real person. I may make reference to the real person for a few different things, but the main one I will be discussing is the character.

Trigger/Content Warning: discussion of morals/morality, religious themes, discussion of intrusive thoughts, brief discussion of self-harm & grief/death

[Masterlist]

Thinking about the 5 Years Anniversary video, and how Remus mentions whispering the whole 'bubblegum shrimp' thing to Roman in his sleep. Then, I thought about how in Remus' introductory video (DWIT), there's the sticky note that says "Aunt Patty Naked" in the background. I remember how Roman had said the whole 'Aunt Patty Naked' thing in a previous video.

Which got me thinking: what if some of Roman's weirder outbursts were from Remus' influence?

And that got me thinking: but how would he be able to whisper things like that during a video? And before his introduction??

One answer: twin telepathy, which would be both funny and fun to mess around with as a fanfic writer.

However, I thought of something else.

What if the Sides had an Invisibility side effect?

I'll explain.

===

A. Imaginary Characters

The Sides are all imaginary characters, made of Thomas' psyche to better help him through dilemmas. They're all aware of being technically-real-but-also-not-real people. Metaphysical, as Logan might say.

They're just parts of Thomas, given specific roles to what they represent. Originating from Vine characters and turned into their own personas, sans Remus and Janus. They're fictional. They are aware of them not being entirely real, to some degree (the dark Sides moreso as they constantly break the fourth wall).

So, how would the imaginary appear on screen as if they were real?

Ignoring the fact that they're fictional and played by Thomas himself. We're focusing entirely on the Sanders Sides canonverse/Sanders Sides universe.

Anyway: they appear on screen like real people because it's Thomas' knowledge and awareness of them. They're Thomas' Sides. They're as real to him as the parts of his personality they're based on. It's his psyche, his imagination, his characters. As long as Thomas is aware of them, they appear on screen and become somewhat real (in the SaSi universe).

To prove my point: remember the first and only three Sides we saw visibly for the first two episodes?

Logan (Logic, Sense of Reason), Roman (Creativity, Passion, Ego), and Patton (Morality, Emotions/the Heart).

The "light" Sides, as they're called.

Why are they the only three on screen? Because Thomas is aware of them and already knows about them.

Just because the Others aren't seen doesn't mean they aren't there.

They're just not known to Thomas yet, sans maybe Virgil.

(he's a special case; you'll see what I mean a little later into the post)

-=-=-=-=-

B. The Lights & Being Visible

The Lights: Logan, Patton, Roman

Thomas knows these three the most out of the six of them. The Lights are the ones in the forefront of his mind, in the 'spotlight'. They're the ones labelled as 'welcomed' and 'good'.

Logic and Sense of Reasoning? Humans have Logic instilled in them since the beginning of their creation. Logic isn't just intellect and smarts, it's literally what helps the brain most when functioning a human being. It's something so physical that it'll never go away. It cannot fade away. It's there to stay.

That being said, it's still a part of personalities because it's also intellect and smarts. It's also Common Sense. It's Learning and Wisdom and all that entails.

Thomas is a very smart individual. He's neurodivergent (irl Thomas literally has ADHD and made a whole video about it). Neurodivergents (NDs) tend to have a higher intelligence. So yeah, Thomas is very intelligent and curious. He depends on his Logic for a whole sh*t-ton of things. He's used to Logan, his Logic.

Morality and Emotions/the Heart? Morals are such an important part of humans and their values. Emotions are something we can't always control. Our Heart and Morality goes hand in hand. Our morals can shape our heart and vice versa. Both are equally important.

Thomas has a big Heart. He feels things and Emotions very deeply. He's a sensitive person. Dare I say, he's an empath. His morals lay heavy on his Heart. Because of his Catholic upbringing, his Morality tends to follow that of a religious standpoint. And that affects how his Heart grew and got shaped during his childhood development.

Since Patton is also his Love for Dad Jokes, and an obvious dad character, it makes sense for him. Morality and morals? Well, who teaches you morals, right from wrong? Your parents do. The people who raise you do. So yeah, Patton has this Preacher Dad thing going on. But I digress.

Anyway: Thomas is used to Patton. He's the embodiment of some of his core beliefs. So yeah, definitely a Side he's well aware of.

Creativity, Passion, Ego? So many things to tackle here.

First off, Creativity is literally where a lot of his intelligence comes from. Thomas is a creative type, a creatively intelligent person. He made his entire livelihood based on his creative merits. Though only half of his Creativity, Roman is definitely an important character of Thomas' personality.

Passion means many things: romance, career/hobbies, creative passion, and just a whole lot more. Since Roman is definitely one of the gayest motherf*ckers in terms to romance, it's safe to say him being Thomas' Passion means a lot of different things. He plays a big part in Thomas' romantic love life. He's passionate about his creations, as Creativity, and what he provides for Thomas. He's passionate and dramatic in general, especially considering he represents most of Thomas' love for theatre and acting.

The Ego? Oh boy, is this an essential part to Thomas. The Ego, put simply, is a person's sense of self-worth and self-esteem. It's kept healthy by positive reinforcement and attention. It's in no way bad. In fact, it's a very good thing. It keeps peoples' mental states healthier.

Which explains c!Thomas' mental breakdown, but I digress.

Anyway: The Ego (aka: Roman) is super f*cking important and essential. Thomas knows Roman as the Ego (amongst other things). He's very much used to his Ego, his [family-friendly half of] Creativity, his Passion and romantic Side.

Thus: yes, these three are known enough by Thomas to be appearing on screen. They're visible to us because they're visible to Thomas.

Which explains the dark Sides (and Virgil).

-=-=-=-=-

C. The Darks & Invisibility

The Darks: Janus, Remus, Orange

As I mentioned above: the Lights are visible to us because they're visible to Thomas, known by Thomas.

So, it follows that because Thomas doesn't know the Darks until later, they aren't visible to us until they're visible to Thomas.

Deceit and Self-Preservation? Deceit/Deception and realizing your capacity for it is very important. Lying and deceiving others isn't exactly the best thing on its own, but it can keep you alive. It's a part of emotional/physical survival. It keeps you out of trouble. It can help protect your being and Self. Self-Preservation is, put simply, preserving your Self and your sense of Self. It's protecting your mental and emotional health. It's protecting your Ego and self-worth. It's keeping you alive, trying to preserve your mental state. It's trying to keep you from snapping and completely losing it. Self-Preservation will keep things from you because you aren't ready for them yet, because forgotten memories hurt you, because you need to be in a different place to handle certain things better. Having Deceit and Self-Preservation paired together makes more sense than not.

For Thomas, I'd say he had a lot of Deceit going on for the purpose of Self-Preservation and protection. Especially considering he grew up as a gay Catholic kid in 90s Florida. And thus is a similar experience for most of us fellow queers.

Anyway: Thomas hadn't realized his capacity for Deceit yet, not had he brought his Self-Preservation to light. His mental was indeed suffering, and he wasn't being entirely honest with himself. He was a bit deep in Denial. His Self-Preservation was keeping things from him (other Sides of him, Janus himself, the hard truths he had yet to face), which plays into Denial and possible Self-Ignorance.

The other Sides, that he knew at the time, were trying to hide the existence of Janus as well as convincing him Lying Is Bad, period. His Morality swore off lying, it wasn't right, we shouldn't lie. His Anxiety went off at the thought of lying, even if for good reason (this also had something to do with Virgil's general distaste for Janus). His Logic was a bit neutral to it, as far as I saw. His [known] Creativity, as well as his Ego and Passion, wavered between lying and telling truth. Roman mostly acted in Self-Interest, if only to boost Thomas' Ego or play positively into his passions.

Only did Thomas start to realize his Deceit, and his Self-Preservation for mental health specifically, when his Morality is faced with a more shades-of-grey question. Janus shifts into Patton to appeal to him as something he already knows and is aware of before revealling himself (CLBG). Things go from there to Janus helping him realize how truly f*cked his mental is (SvS & POF). Only then does he become visible.

Intrusive Thoughts and [Darker] Creativity? As much as they aren't welcomed, Intrusive Thoughts are important to note. The more frequent you have them, the more likely your mental health may need to be checked in on. They don't make you any less of a good person. Thoughtcrime isn't real. Thought doesn't equal action. You choose whether or not to act on the thoughts you have. You have control. You'll be okay.

I digressed a little bit. Whoops.

Anyway: Darker Creativity is super f*cking important, especially for a creative person (like Thomas). The darker side of Creativity helps explore more mature ideas and concepts. Without it, many things might not get addressed in your creative works. Things like self-harm, the darker things of mental health, the cruel reality of many different things, grief and death, etc. That includes Intrusive Thoughts (heh). With Darker Creativity, you could explore gore and such monstrosities. Horror games? Thrillers? Cruel realities and dystopias? Body horror? All from that comes from Darker Creativity. Your favourite shooter games? Zombie Apocalyptic fiction? Yep, Darker Creativity.

Having Intrusive Thoughts paired with Darker Creativity makes a little too much sense, honestly.

For Thomas, he had shunned away his Darker Creativity. He repressed his Intrusive Thoughts. Repression does no one any good. Ignoring something like that is more harmful than anything. He shackled his Creativity by repressing and shunning the darker parts of himself like that.

Funny how both of his Creativities feel shackled and restricted, huh?

Moving on: his Self-Preservation helped hide away (in a way) his Darker Creativity. A part of himself that just wants recognition and attention. Remus literally said, and I quote, "Thomas, you made me this way." When you shun a part of yourself and repress it, especially so deeply, it becomes intrusive. When something is so foreign to you and labelled as 'bad', it becomes intrusive. No matter how dark your mind or Creativity is, you're still a good person. Thoughtcrime isn't real.

I need to stop diverging from my point, jfc-

The point: Thomas didn't know his Darker Creativity until much later. He didn't recognize his Intrusive Thoughts as Intrusive Thought until much later. He was denying himself until much later.

Only when his mental was really drowning in the depths of a self-deprecating sea did he see those things. Only when he was so close to a mental breakdown did he start stop repressing those parts of himself.

Only then did Remus pop out, finally able to be recognized for something, and got seen.

Wrath, Jealousy, Regret, and every mystery of Orange? Yeah, this will be a tricky one. We haven't seen Orange on screen just yet, so this is heavily theoretical territory.

Basing everything of Orange on all the random theories I've collected in my lil theory hoard of him.

First off: Wrath relates to anger (it's literally defined as 'extreme anger'). Among that, I believe it can also relate to Righteous Anger. Both are 100% important for humans to have. Wrath, both repressed and expressed, is just as needed as any other feeling or emotion. You're going to feel angry when you're hurt or upset. You'll feel angry or mad when you've been wrong, or at least when you feel like you've been wronged. When you've been mistreated or shunned, there'll be angry. In the case of Thomas, and my fellow queers/minorities, there is the feeling of Righteous Anger. Not righteous in a religious sense/context, but in a sort of vengeful way.

When you've been mistreated for things you cannot change about yourself, you are angry and want Justice. Who are they to say such things about you? To assume this and that? They hurt you, so you want Justice. Sometimes, this can come in the form of vengefulness.

Aka: Karma.

Jealousy? You most often get angry when you get jealous of someone or something. You want to have what they have. You should have or be what they have or who they are. You want that career, that attention, that romantic partner, that family life, that friend, that house or car, etc. It's important to pay attention to that Jealousy, and to see what you really want. Chances are it's more than just wanting something of someone else's. Jealousy is what I believe to be a form of anger.

Regret? This can be more of anger directed at yourself. Guilt. Shame. Regret. You can be angry with yourself for doing or saying something dumb (or that you think is dumb). Why would you do that thing? You hurt that person; now look at the mess you've created. Why would you do that/say that? Why, why, why?

^Regret is important. It's a form of Shame and Guilt unlike any other. Regret also comes from your sense of Morality, and it can be a result of Anxiety.

And all those things I've said for Orange? They're all equally important things Thomas could learn and realize.

Only then, when he finally realizes whatever Orange represents, will we see Orange.

Overall: the Darks are not seen by us until they're seen by Thomas. They remain invisible to us, though they're still there. They're known to us once they're known to Thomas.

And Thomas still has some learning to do.

-=-=-=-=-

D. The Neutral Side & His Flickering Visibility

The Neutrals: Virgil

Virgil represents Anxiety. There's already a two-part episode entirely about him and his role (AA, part I & II). There are many parts to Anxiety, as we've seen. He's a former Dark, a current Light (as far as it's somewhat implied), and a definite Neutral. He's a bit in-between the black-and-white imaginary for the Lights and the Darks. He's both sides and neither of them at the same time.

And how does this affect his visiblity?

Well... it does and it doesn't.

The defining factor of being seen or unseen is Thomas himself.

Virgil is first seen, assumingly as a Dark, in the third SaSi episode (Taking on ANXIETY [TOA]). He goes through his arc and (also assumingly) becomes a Light during AA (parts I & II).

Going back to TOA: Thomas was already aware of his Anxiety, to some extent. Virgil popped in, scared Thomas (lmao), and Thomas immediately recognizes him for who he is. He recognizes his Anxiety; Virgil's no one new. However, at that point, Thomas recognized Virgil as a somewhat obsessive Anxiety. An overbearing Anxiety. Something only there to be negative and annoying.

This, of course, changed as the series progressed. Not the point, though.

He is seen because he is already known. BUT! He was seen as a Dark because that's how he was known.

He is then seen as a Light because that's how he becomes known as.

He never once, to Thomas, is seen or known as a Neutral.

This is important. Virgil is already seen. Then he is seen again, in a different spotlight. But he still isn't seen.

It's almost like his visibility shifts and changes, almost like a flickering streetlight. Like a transparent png file, he isn't all there. Not yet, anyway.

Virgil isn't entirely seen until Thomas recognizes and realizes him as a Neutral Side. As far as I know, that hasn't happened quite yet. Perhaps, with the coming days of Orange, he will be seen then.

And only then will he be seen in his entirety.

*Side Note: I cannot articulate clearly of what I mean exactly about the 'flickering visibility' yet. Brain ain't got the braincells for that today. May revisit and expand on this later.

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

What if Virgil formed as a gray/neutral side but Janus saw the little spider eyes forming under his regular ones how snarky and jumpy and standoffish he was and how he hissed just like Janus when anyone approached too quickly and was like "is anyone gonna adopt that" and didn't wait for an answer (because he knew if he did then Patton would appear with his hand up immediately)

[not-your-average-highschool-au]

✨Dynamics✨

Okay so👏 Character dynamics at the “start/beginning” of the au:

Patton, Logan, and Roman are a tiny best friend group. They don’t really have many friends outside of this group since Roman finds it hard to mesh well with people, Patton finds it hard to even talk to new people, and not many people appreciate Logan and his fandom talks. So they don’t have too many friends outside the group but they don’t mind.

Remus and Janus are super close. They’re the best of friends and constantly are spending time together, only not being seen together when they’re off doing their respective school activities (ex: Janus’s practices, Remus’s academic activities, etc). Aside from that, they’re basically attached at the hip.

Virgil is apart of a completely separate friend group and is kinda detached from everyone at first. Since he’s super popular, he’s got a huge friend group and they’re who he mostly hangs out with. However, he knows of the other sides and they know of him.

In terms of groups crossing paths with each other (idk how else to word it lol); Patton, Logan, and Roman do end up hanging out with Janus and Remus since… you know, Roman and Remus are brothers. Since Janus and Remus are older though, they kinda lovingly make fun of/tease the group. They don’t think badly of them but they still tease them a bit. Logan and Patton don’t really mind but it really can get under Roman’s skin for sure.

With Virgil, Janus and Remus respect him due to how popular he is and they do sometimes hang out when the opportunity arises. As for Patton, Roman, and Logan, the dynamic with Virgil is a tad different for each pair individually.

With Virgil and Patton, they both had a mutual respect for each other. Patton admires how kind Virgil is to him and others while Virgil thinks that Patton is super cool (he’s a huge fan of Patton’s aesthetic). Currently working on a drawing to show off a bit of this dynamic so keep an eye on for that haha

With Virgil and Roman, Virgil thinks Roman’s pretty cool but Roman can’t really stand Virgil. Roman doesn’t hate him exactly but he is a little annoyed whenever he shows up. Roman can’t really explain why he has this kinda distain towards Virgil. Maybe it’s cause deep down, Roman’s a bit jealous of how popular Virgil is; idk👀

With Virgil and Logan, there’s also a kinda mutual respect. It’s not in the same way as Patton and Virgil though; it’s a bit more of a muted and chill respect, if that makes sense. Logan thinks that Virgil’s generally pretty cool and has more of a neutral, positive leaning feeling towards him. Virgil feels a similar way towards Logan; he admires how open he is about his interests but he doesn’t really admire it as much as he admires Patton.

Anyways, I think that’s everyone!! Thanks for reading!

[radioactive-dazey]

Thinking about how if Roman and Remus didn't "split" then Creativity would probably be considered a neutral side or a gray side between the "light" and "dark" sides and idk man that as a concept is super neat.

Like that version of creativity would be the link between the two instead of how Virgil is the narrative link between them. Would he basically be a fusion of how Roman and Remus currently behave? Would he unsettle Patton as much as Remus unsettles him? What's his relationship with Janus and Virgil (if one exists)?

Im imagining he would probably an absolute menace when he needed to be. Incredibly passionate, dramatic, and would weirdly be able to sway others to agree with him? Like he knows how to use the other sides behaviors to his advantage?

Maybe bro would have sided with Janus about the callback and just was like "Patton, babes, I have to. I want this so badly." And it makes Patton feel so betrayed and agh.

Because he's the link between light and dark sides he wouldn't have made fun of Virgil or Janus's names. But he may not have known what they are either. Same with the light sides. He doesn't fully fit in with either and is semi-rejected by both, hence getting to know their names is like a way to say "hey, I trust you" (but let's be real, he probably would feel more at home with the other dark sides since they are pretty ostracized by the light sides)

Idk, maybe I'll incorporate these ideas into one of my abandoned comics •<•)

[erisworld88]

Name of the orange side

We all know that Logan, Patton and Roman have similar names, it has even been stated in a video.

Virgil has been stated to be a neutral side, as shown in the anime opening video.

Janus and Remus also have similar names, so would the orange side maybe have a name ending with "us" as well?

Any suggestions as to what that may be?

[delimeful]

every good intention (4)

warnings: misunderstandings, assumptions, pre-AA, panic attack

-

Roman had been thinking.

Contemplating, really. There were a surplus of mystifying elements to consider as of late, especially now that he’d found out about Logan and Anxiety’s secret tryst.

(He was fairly certain that platonic cuddling between a repressed nerd and an awkward emo didn’t actually qualify as a tryst, but it sounded much more dramatic that way.)

He was no Logic, but as a charming and exceptional denizen of Thomas’s mind, he naturally had wits aplenty of his own.

And so arrived his realization: When it came to the puzzle that was his interactions with Anxiety the past few weeks, there was a pattern.

When Roman ran into the eyeliner-extraordinaire as himself, he was treated to the same prickly reception as always: Anxiety was a creepy, annoying asshole who loved to undermine Roman’s every idea and probably Thomas’s every happy thought, too.

The few occasions that he’d run into Anxiety in his cursed form, however, told a new story. One Roman had never heard before.

When faced with the tiny fire-breathing lizard version of Roman, Anxiety acted entirely differently. Instead of hunched shoulders and purposefully agitating smirks, he wore a casual, slouched posture and wry amusement— even when Roman was actively antagonizing him.

He didn’t act like a villain. When faced with what he believed to be a small, easily-conquered creature, Anxiety hadn’t taken the opportunity to attack, hurt, or even merely frighten him. Not even after Roman had bitten him.

Roman the Side, on the other hand, was given no such grace. He’d even tried to tone down his usual assertiveness in favor of a careful neutrality when running into Anxiety, curious about the strange truce Logan had formed with him, but to no avail.

Without the barrier of barbed bantering between them, Anxiety only seemed to grow more defensive and on-edge, paradoxically enough.

The answer was obvious: Anxiety must have some strange affinity for dragons.

It was the only possible explanation for Roman’s bizarre undersized form garnering a kinder welcome than Creativity, clearly the optimal being between the two. Anxiety simply had an affection for the sharp and scary, and a disdain for Disney Princes.

Of course, that didn’t explain the way he treated Patton with care when nobody was watching, or the lack of backstabbing he’d brought to the midnight cuddlefest. Thus, it all had to be part of some larger plot!

Roman wasn’t as experienced in predicting plotting, seeing as it wasn’t a particularly heroic activity.

Luckily, he had the perfect spy to send in to uncover the truth behind Anxiety’s more bewildering behavior: himself!

Thus, the next time Roman found himself with wings, scales, and a tail, he strode down the hall towards Anxiety’s room with confidence that was only a little faux.

He’d worried for a bit that it wasn’t a very gentlemanly thing to do, invading one’s privacy, but this particular opportunity had come about after a spectacular tiff between the two of them, and Roman found that his reservations had suddenly vanished.

Anxiety certainly hadn’t been holding back when he’d poked at Roman’s every sore spot in the brainstorming today. Roman wanted— no, needed to uncover the motives of his scheme, so he could go back to giving every argument his all too, without wondering how things might be different between them.

Anxiety’s room was usually sealed up tight, but occasionally he would leave it cracked, presumably because the sight of it sitting just slightly ajar at the shadowed end of the hall prompted exactly the sort of unease that he loved to inspire in everyone.

Fortune must have smiled on Roman today, for when he trotted closer, he found that the door was indeed not fully closed.

Taking a deep breath, Roman steeled himself and then headbutted the door firmly, pushing it the slightest bit further open so that he could wriggle his strange little wyrm-like body through.

It made a horrendous creaking sound, eliciting a wince from Roman but absolutely no response from the figure flopped over on the bed in the middle of the shadowed room.

Wary now, Roman crept forward bit by bit, until he spotted the outline of bulky headphones. So that was why his entrance had gone unnoticed by the twitchiest Side in the Mindscape.

Hesitant to grab Anxiety’s attention right away— he would have to be in a foul mood after their altercation today too, wouldn’t he?— Roman instead clambered up the side of a padded armchair, pausing to glance around at the rest of the room curiously.

For such a grimdark and gloomy guy, Anxiety certainly had excellent taste in Disney decor. He would love something like that Nightmare Before Christmas poster in his own room, perhaps an entire section of the wall dedicated to a collage of the more aesthetically appealing Disney classic poster— no, focus!

Shaking himself out of the theoretical redecorating, Roman leapt nimbly to the bedside table, flaring his wings slightly on instinct to muffle the impact of his landing.

When he turned to check that Anxiety was still unaware, however, the sight that greeted him was shocking enough to strike him dumb.

Anxiety’s eyes weren’t on him, because they were cinched tightly closed. He had both hands wound firmly into his hair, face twisted into a panicked grimace as he struggled to inhale a full lungful of air. His panic was practically tangible in the air— Roman felt his own heart rate begin to rise as though in empathy.

His startled question (“Are you okay?!”) came out as a warbling call, one that didn’t make it through the emo soundtrack blasting from those headphones.

After a brief moment of hesitation— why was he so nervous?— Roman made the short leap to the bed, landing with a slight pressure that instantly made Anxiety’s red-rimmed eyes shoot open.

He backpedaled slightly at the way Anxiety sat bolt upright, but in the next moment, the tension seemed to drain slightly from the other Side.

“Bitey,” he greeted, and the wobble in his voice was so alarming that Roman didn’t even snap his teeth in his usual protest of the nickname. “I don’t think you should— should be in here, bud. You may not be affected by the room itself, but I'm… I’m not great company right now.”

Roman kneaded the comforter beneath his talons for a moment indecisively, earning a shaky half-smile from Anxiety. It could be part of some larger plot, but… Roman was the most dedicated actor out of them all, and he didn’t feel like this was an act.

Carefully, his heart pounding in his ears, he crept forward and butted his head against Anxiety’s knee in a meagre attempt at comfort.

Anxiety let out a stuttering, painfully-shallow sounding exhale, and then reached down and picked him up, supporting him with the curve of one arm as he curled around Roman in an unmistakable hug.

The moment they made contact, Roman felt a burst of all-consuming panic that didn’t belong to him, spiked and piercing into every vulnerable bit until there wasn’t any calm left.

It was an echo, emotional feedback from the panic attack that Anxiety was having, and it was a perfect mirror of every fright and fear he’d faced while this size, all at once.

Oh. Oh.

Anxiety hadn’t been kind to him because of reptilian favoritism, after all. It was because he was more than familiar with the sort of flipped-beetle vulnerability that came with feeling afraid, the defensive bared teeth of the fight bit of fight-or-flight. He wasn’t just the cause of Thomas’s anxiety, he was the experience of anxiety itself.

That put… a lot of things into perspective, actually.

Roman pushed his head against Anxiety’s sternum, returning the hug as best he could.

He had a lot of re-thinking to do.

[part-time-zombie]

Blame It On The Alcohol

pairings: loceit (romantic, can be read as platonic)

summary: janus is used to having a drink or two alone. he's not used to logan showing up at his door asking for a glass, and definitely not after it looks like he's already had a few drinks himself.

tags/warnings: alcohol use, drinking and getting/being drunk, sharing a bed, hurt/comfort, angst, logan isn't okay, janus notices, janus gets slightly flirty and logan gets slightly flustered near the end, he doesnt take advantage of him or anything though, yeah they both get drunk but nothing smutty happens

word count: 3464

The last thing Janus expected to hear was a knock on his door. It was late, for one, and he along with most of the other sides are usually winding down for the night at this hour. Not to mention the fact that no one had ever bothered to knock on his door at all, or even stop by for any reason. Well, Remus would let himself in and he often stays up this late, but he never knocks first, always just kicking the door open and making himself at home whether Janus was there or not.

So it wasn’t him, but he couldn’t think of any reason anyone else would be here. Patton is never up this late, and Roman and Virgil would rather let the house burn down than talk to him voluntarily, so why on earth would someone be at his door right now?

The knocking resumed, a slow but heavy pounding at a wavering rhythm, and Janus decided he may as well answer it before whoever it was got bored and left. Sparing a moment to ensure he looked decent (he had been getting ready for bed after all), he opened the door with his best attempt at a neutral expression.

Logan stared back at him with the same look, leaning casually against the door frame once the door was opened.

“I’m out of wine,” he slowly mumbled, raising an almost empty bottle to further emphasize his point.

Janus took a moment to respond, taking in the sight of Logan most certainly drunk at his door this late at night. His tie had been loosened and his shirt was uncharacteristically wrinkled, and every so often he should shuffle in place as if he were trying to keep his balance. He looked dead tired, and almost undone in a way Janus had never seen before.

"I can see that,” he finally said, still trying to make sense of the situation. “Although you technically still have a bit of wine left in that bottle. Why are you here, exactly?”

Logan looked back down at the bottle in his hand before bringing it to his lips and tilting his head back, easily downing the last of the wine without hesitation. Once the bottle was completely drained, he all but shoved it into Janus’ arms.

"Now I’m officially out of wine,” he corrected. “And to answer your question, I know you likely store some of your own in your room. I would like to have some if you don’t mind.”

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

Logan's eyes narrowed. “Not hardly.”

Well, if he was so set on getting blackout drunk, who would Janus be to deny him another glass or two? This was going to be fun.

"Very well. By all means make yourself comfortable,” he said, moving aside and letting Logan stumble in to his room. Logan all but fell into the plush seat by Janus’ desk, running a hand over his face with a sigh.

Janus set down a fresh bottle of wine before moving to unlock one of the desk drawers for some glasses. He had to take such drastic measures after Remus stole all of his wine glasses some time ago. He grabbed what he needed only to see Logan already chugging straight from the bottle, nearly a quarter of it already having been drunk.

Janus quickly snatched the bottle out of his hands and placed it on the farthest end of the desk, ignoring Logan's whine of protest.

"And here I thought I was the selfish one,” he chided. “It would only have taken me a moment to get a glass, you know.”

"But I don’t just want to have just a glass of wine,” Logan replied, his words now slightly slurred. “You’re allowed to drink until you’re totally inebriated, why can’t I?”

“Because you’re the responsible one.”

“What if I don’t want to be?”

That brought a weight to Janus’ stomach, sinking uncomfortably within him.

“What are you saying, Logan?”

Logan sighed in frustration, as if the answer was obvious and Janus was an idiot for needing to ask. “I’m saying I don’t see the point in doing all the work around here when it doesn’t get me very far. Everyone else is allowed to be silly and stupid and selfish, and I always end up cleaning up after them. Don’t I deserve a break?”

“Of course you do, but I don’t think this counts.”

Logan shrugged, glancing wistfully at the bottle Janus kept out of his reach. “Maybe not, but it’s the closest thing I can get. I can drink until I stop thinking for the night and recover in the morning to get back to work, it works well enough.”

“You’ve done this before?” Janus asked, though they both knew it was more of an observation than a question.

“On occasion, when I don’t want to have to deal with everything. I just happened to run out of wine tonight, and I knew you’d have some.”

Well, this wasn’t nearly as much fun as Janus had hoped. He reached over and grabbed the wine, taking a rather large swill from it in the same manner that Logan had before passing it over to him. He didn’t want to be fully sober for this conversation.

"So how long have you been drinking your cares away, exactly?”

Another shrug. “I’d say roughly around the same time you started making appearances, if not a little bit before. It wasn’t necessarily because of you, though.”

Well that was a relief.

“Then what was it about?”

Logan took another long drink before passing the bottle back to him. “Something tells me you already know.”

He had an inkling or two. He took a drink as he tried to come up with a way to bring it up, passing the bottle back and Logan quickly started chugging from it.

“At a guess, it’s probably about the others. Perhaps even Roman specifically.”

Logan set the bottle down with a sigh, not looking up at Janus. “It’s not just Roman, or even about the others really.”

“Then what it is about?”

“Why should I tell you, exactly? You don’t even know what it is yourself, not to mention I know how much you love gossip. Frankly, me coming to you at all was a mistake.”

Logan got up from his seat, making his way to the door. Or at least, attempting to do so, as he staggered unsteadily and ultimately fell to the floor with a painful grunt.

Janus fought back a grin as he helped Logan back up, placing him back in the chair.

“Something tells me storming off won’t get you very far,” he teased.

“I shouldn’t have come here,” he slurred, head drooping heavily. “Now you’ll go telling everyone about how foolish I look, and then I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Janus almost felt sympathy for Logan. Or maybe it was pity. Or the wine. Either way, seeing him so dejected and defeated by something he wouldn’t share tugged at something in his chest, and he found he couldn’t stand Logan being like this.

“I admit I love to spread rumors and drama, but I promise I won’t talk about this to anyone. This isn’t just some petty squabble to laugh at over dinner; whatever is going on with you isn’t something I’d joke about with anyone.”

Logan scoffed in response before taking another drink.

“I’d still like to know whatever or whoever it is that’s driving you to drink. I could help make sure it doesn’t get this bad again or find a means of getting you a proper break.”

“You won’t like the answer.”

“I still want to hear it.”

Logan took a particularly long swig from the bottle before passing what was left over to Janus, sighing to himself as he did so.

“It’s Thomas.”

Janus was glad he hadn’t taken a drink yet or he would have done a spit take right then and there. Of all the things Logan could have said, Janus never thought it’d be that.

“Thomas is the problem?”

“More accurately, I am.” Logan replied. “No matter what I do or how I try, nothing ever works. He won’t listen to me; he won’t even interact with me at all unless there’s another problem the others are too dramatic to fix. I’m just a tool to him, something to be used when needed and left to collect dust otherwise. I don’t know what it is I’m doing wrong or why I can’t get through to him, but it always ends the same. I beg for him to see me, and he looks straight through me. It’s like I don’t exist to him anymore.”

Logan was right, Janus hated this answer. Knowing that it had gotten this bad and that he was this neglected by not just the other sides but by Thomas himself made his stomach turn. He took another sip of wine, hoping that it would somehow make this easier.

Maybe that’s what Logan hopes for when he drinks.

Janus thought back to the few times he and Logan had interacted, how stressed he seemed and how much the others ignored him. He remembered how often he would shut Logan up or even remove him from the discussion entirely. He really was a part of the problem, wasn’t he? If he hadn’t taken such efforts to hog the spotlight for himself, maybe Logan would have been heard more clearly.

“I’m sorry, Logan. Truly.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Maybe not fully, but I had a hand in this all the same. I pushed you off to the side and let the others overlook you when you actually were the most helpful one there. I should have made the others, made Thomas, pay more attention to you. You don’t deserve this.”

“Maybe I do. Maybe it’s something I’m doing wrong. I know everyone else can get his attention easily, so it has to be a failure on my part.”

“Now that’s just not true,” Janus added, passing the bottle back to him. “The others get his attention because they’re loud and dramatic. It’s hard to hear the weather alert on the news when there’s a storm howling outside. Just because you aren’t as obnoxious and over the top as them doesn’t mean you’re less than. If anything, I’d say it makes you better than them. You don’t resort to something so childish to be listened to.”

“Perhaps I should. It works for them, after all.”

“But is that how you want to be seen? Throwing a temper tantrum until all they hear is you screaming at them?”

“What other option do I have at this point? Everything else has failed.”

“Well, we can figure something out here. I can help to make him listen to you.”

Logan looked back up at him, skepticism shining in his hazy eyes. “And why would you offer to do that for me?”

“Because you’re an essential part of Thomas, and I admit I respect you a great deal.”

“Really? Even now, after you’ve seen me like this?”

Janus nodded, not trusting himself to not say anything too sentimental. Logan seemed to accept it as a viable response though, offering him a small smile before taking the bottle and finishing off the last of the wine in one final gulp.

“I should go to bed,” he mumbled, words slurring over again. “So should you.”

“You’re the one who knocked on my door this late at night,” Janus joked.

“Right, sorry about that.”

“Never apologize for coming to me, especially for something like this.”

Logan looked confused. “Requesting alcohol?”

“Needing someone to talk to.”

“… oh.”

The two sat together in silence for a moment, neither of them capable of finding something to say. Eventually Logan stood up from his chair again, albeit shakily, as he prepared to return to his room for the night. Janus watched as he tried and failed to walk on his own, before making up his mind with a sigh and gently grabbing hold of his arm.

“Janus, what- “

“You’re not making it to your room like this, not on your own anyway. I could walk you back if you want, but that’ll run the risk of someone seeing me escorting you out of my room in the middle of the night while you can barely stand. I think even in this state you can imagine how that would look to anyone.”

Logan nodded in agreement, head lolling about on his shoulders. “What do you suggest, then?”

“Well, I’m not exactly against the idea of you staying the night.” Janus felt himself blush as the implications of the idea came to mind. “I mean, only if you want to. Nothing is going to come of it and it doesn’t have to mean anything, it would just make sense for you to have somewhere to rest for the night without anything happening.”

Logan stared back at him, swaying lightly in his hold, before sighing. “I suppose so. If anything, the company might be nice. As long as you promise nothing will come of this. I doubt I’m in any state to start something like that right now.”

“Something like what?”

Logan didn’t respond, only flushing a beet red that definitely wasn’t from the wine.

Janus chuckled softly at the sight, greatly enjoying seeing Logan so open and emotional. He’d never had the chance to see him like this, and it was quite a sight.

He gently guided him back to the bed, changing them both into pajamas with a snap of his fingers. Logan sat down with a huff, leaning back towards the headrest as Janus crawled into the bed beside him. It took a few minutes of awkward maneuvering, but Logan eventually managed to slip beneath the covers, wasting no time in cozying up to Janus.

Janus froze, not quite sure what to do or how to react, but as he felt Logan's body heat washing over him and his arms wrapping tightly around him he found he didn’t quite care. If Logan needed this from him, who would he be to deny it?

“Pretty.”

“What was that?”

“Your scales,” Logan explained, looking up at him. “They’re pretty.”

As if to further prove his point, he reached up and let his hand drift slowly across the left side of his face, gently caressing the scales there.

“They’re smooth too. I like them.”

Now it was Janus’ turn to blush, sputtering out some vague semblance of a thank you before turning on his side, ensuring Logan couldn’t see his rapidly reddening face. The change in position also prevented Logan from further touching his scales, and Janus tried to pretend he wasn’t bereft of the experience. Not many people complimented him on his scales, and he had never let anyone go so far as to touch them before, but feeling Logan's skin softly against them felt pleasant in a way he couldn’t describe, much less address.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Logan said from somewhere behind him, voice tinged with regret.

“You didn’t, it’s just… sensitive, is all,” he lied. Mostly.

“Ah. Apologies.”

“It’s no problem. Goodnight.”

“… goodnight, then.”

Logan didn’t try to hold him again, and Janus tried not to think about how much he wanted him to.

“… Janus?”

Logan's voice echoed in Janus’ ear, pulling him out from the depths of sleep. He blinked his sleep-crusted eyes open groggily, groaning at the brightness of the light seeping in through the curtains.

 Turning his head with an aching stiffness in his neck, he found himself face to face with a very flustered Logan. A Logan that was currently wrapped tightly in his arms.

“What happened last night?” he asked him, eyes wide.

Shit. What did happen last night? He was getting ready for bed, then Logan showed up asking for a drink, then…

Ah. Right. That.

“Don’t you remember?” Janus asked, letting a playful smirk make its way across his face. May as well have some fun with this for a moment, after all. “It was definitely an eventful night we had, I’m sure at least some part of it is still fresh in your mind.”

Logan opened his mouth like he was about to say something only to close it again as he wriggled free from where he and Janus had evidently tangled together in the night. He sat up in bed, pulling the blankets up to his chest even though he was wearing a shirt and Janus fought back the urge to laugh. He was surprisingly cute all flustered like this.

“Look, whatever happened between us last night, it didn’t, alright? It didn’t mean anything, and it won’t happen again, so just please leave it alone.”

“Leave which part of it alone? The part where you all but fell into my arms in a drunken stupor, or the part where you let yourself be even more open and emotionally vulnerable than you might even be with yourself?”

“All of it, ideally. Especially the part where we woke up like… this.”

Janus arched an eyebrow. “Is that what you think happened? Some drunken one-night stand fueled by alcohol and repressed feelings?”

Logan squirmed under the teasing scrutiny. “… is that not what happened?”

Janus couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “Not at all. We drank, we talked, and when you could hardly stand let alone walk to your room, I offered you my bed. Nothing else happened between us last night, at least, not like that.”

Some of the tension left Logan at that. “So you’re saying we didn’t… “

“Nope. I may be a horrible person, but I would never take advantage of you like that.”

“… oh. Well, that’s good to hear, I suppose. What did we talk about, exactly?”

Janus felt his smile slip, quickly replaced with a sympathetic look. “We talked about why you were drunk, and why you drink like this so much.”

Logan looked away, the tension from before returning. “I talked about that?”

“Seems like you needed to talk about it. You’ve been dealing with all of that for a while now by the looks of things.”

Logan cringed to himself, still not looking at Janus. “Right. I didn’t mean to bring that up with you. Whatever it is we discussed, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone else.”

“I don’t plan on anyone else knowing, as long as you’ll do something for me.” he said, letting a trace of mischief slip through his voice.

“What is it you want from me now?” Logan asked, tone thick with skepticism.

Janus sat up in his bed, ensuring he was looking Logan head on and that he was looking back at him. He held his gaze, face slack but somber.

“Next time you want to drink, come to me. I’d rather you talk to me about whatever’s bothering you than have you drown yourself in wine again. I swear nothing you say will go beyond this room, but please just go to me instead of the wine.”

Logan fixed him with a deadpan stare. “That’s a bit hypocritical of you, isn’t it? Last I checked, you’re just as inclined to get inebriated if not more so.”

“That’s fair,” he chuckled. “But I drink for fun, not to forget about my problems.”

“… touché.”

Logan gave him a small smile, one that Janus returned.

“I didn’t make a fool of myself, did I?” he eventually asked.

“Not too much, though you were awfully affectionate near the end.”

Logan flushed. “Affectionate?”

“Just a little. You… may have complimented me. You said you liked my scales.”

“Oh. I didn’t mean to- “

“Make me uncomfortable?” Janus teased. “You said the same thing last night. Don’t worry, I don’t mind. It was honestly rather sweet of you to say.”

Logan blushed and looked away again, and Janus let him. It meant he wouldn’t see the blush steadily creeping on his own face.

“I should get dressed, I have work to do.”

“Of course, I should get started on a few things myself.”

Logan quickly shuffled out of bed, Janus doing the same. With a wave of the hand, they were both changed back to their usual garb, and remaining equally flustered.

“I’m going to my room now,” Logan mumbled, still avoiding Janus’ gaze.

“Right, you do that. I’ll talk to you later then.”

Logan gave him a curt nod before walking out the door, closing it softly behind himself. Janus let out a breath, running a hand over his face. Wow, that was awkward.

At least he managed to get a little closer to Logan, right?

If only he knew how to proceed after all of this.

@britt-ish123 @lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @nico-the-overlord @can-i-take-a-stab @rougeside4 @keitaisghost @new-zee-land

[ts-sides-head-canon]

My Headcanons Patton Sanders Edition

He enjoys trying new foods (although is hesitant if Remus was the one to make anything). Terrible cook, but is pretty good at baking (needs all those second cookies). Overprotective to the point that he can be stifling. Always trying to cheer the others up, but is sometimes really bad at it. He likes more happy, peppy music, but sometimes listens to the sad stuff to feel better. Is not a huge fan of musicals imo, he doesn't dislike them? He's more neutral towards them. He and Janus always switch places between second shortest, imo.

[fandombead]

Misconception About Patton (SvS)

I think I've seen a lot of takeaways from this episode be that Patton pushed for what he wanted regardless of how the others felt. However, I believe this is ignoring first that he's a facet of c!Thomas and represents his core values and thus what Thomas ultimately believed was right as well, even if he wasn't happy about it.

Interesting quotes that I think get forgotten or removed from context about how SVS went down:

I find it interesting that people claim Patton manipulated the others, namely Roman. I dispute this because of the intent required for something to be manipulation vs misguiding someone and the word is thrown around carelessly. Janus, however, was the one to actually "manipulate" Roman to his advantage in the situation, and while you can justify it, I am simply pointing out that people do not get on his case as harshly for this thing they claim Patton did.

Patton is the product of c!Thomas's inner learned morality + his feelings, which makes the host as guilty as any of them for that representation of trying to break out of a learned mindset, which Patton is. He's changing as c!Thomas learns, and making mistakes such as not listening to the other parts of Thomas that may suggest he is not a perfect, "good" person by their original standards. Categorizing yourself as a "good" or "bad" person based on some scoring system is not something you want to do: people DO good and bad (and neutral) things, they aren't good or bad themselves.

Labeling yourself as "good" may just help you justify everything you do even when it's objectively bad because "well I'm a good person so this is good too". And labeling yourself (or others labeling you) as "bad" might just make you feel stuck and like you can never be anything more, and so you just become it with all your decisions. These are not the human experience. Nuance aside, everything is relative and you'll be picking apart every aspect of yourself trying to figure out "which you are".

Thomas is essentially trying to convince part of himself that it'd be okay to go against his morals for a beneficial reason. There was no right answer (going to the wedding or not) that would make everyone happy; Patton was doing what they asked and giving Thomas the moral answer based on c!Thomas's sincere priorities (like his friendships and being trustworthy).

(Pat's the emotional center AND the moral center of Thomas, which conflict more often than not, and are part of the reason this guy really struggled with separating the two while making his case-- he's unfortunately the holder of both.)

Where Patton was wrong was putting others first 100% of the time. Now, to be fair to Patton, he did agree that there are times when you should put yourself first, but they were circumstantial and in service to helping others more. This isn't healthy and is on the extreme end close to self harmful because you're prioritizing others even when you don't have the means to give, which can lead to burnout and neglect of yourself. The "opposite" end of this is only caring about your own means and using others as a means to an end. Both of these can lead to ruining your social and emotional connections to others.

And again, these are manifestations of the inner turmoil c!Thomas is having. These are his beliefs (read as "moral code") vs his wants battling it out and no matter what he settled on given the options, he'd have been unhappy. (note though: Roman did bring up simply asking Lee and Mary Lee about this directly and sometimes open communication is the best solution-- a lot of the time, actually)

At the end of the day in this part, Patton was defending c!Thomas ' character and relationships (which are important to them) while Janus wanted c!Thomas to not feel obligated to put his own goals behind the wants of others, especially with minimum benefit in both regards (Thomas's presence at the wedding was less impactful for them than the callback would have potentially been for Thomas, and it was a high Opportunity Cost).

Patton is essentially a representation of a religious upbringing sticking certain ideals in your core beliefs that even once you separate yourself from it, still for better or worse guide a lot about you. He's changing and evolving from that, and I do get why a character like this puts a bad taste in people's mouths and they associate him with that. That's entirely valid and I get it. This isn't about that-- I'm not over here arguing he did nothing wrong or that you can't hate him for whatever reason you want, that's not what I'm saying nor what I care about here-- I'm just clearing up what I've seen in canon versus how a majority neurodivergent fandom with certain life experiences might have warped the view of him in hindsight. This is not a malicious jerk trying to get his way and at the other extreme, he's not an innocent bean who wasn't ever in the wrong.

There ARE other examples of him pushing points associated with his roles and having to change throughout the series to this point. He just is the one looked at the hardest out of the sides (who all do this at some point in the series) because he's supposed to have all the answers when morality is one of the most difficult things you have to figure out in life. He didn't claim to have all the answers, but c!Thomas needs them from him to be the best person he can, and that will ultimately conflict and be more complicated than the black-and-white morality kids get taught and then have to alter as they grow up and see a complex world.

We all have to deal with that and it's uncomfortable to confront it. It manifesting in one character separate from yourself is easier than consolidating that that's a part of everyone, and one that isn't fun to examine all the time. I just really like how the show brings philosophies I studied into the next episode, but do think that a chunk of the audience did misunderstand / block out what Patton was actually saying/trying to do...I'm gonna rewatch the Redux episode and also keep an eye out for what people might be talking about when they specifically talk about his actions being problematic there, but I definitely believe the intent of this character (and how Thomas has presented him) does not get to the conclusion of him being willfully any more pushy or mistaken than the others at one point or another.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

A Much-Needed Hiatus

Hi hi! I really liked “Out of Commission” and was wondering if you’d consider writing another chapter for it! In my head it’d be very angsty at the beginning as the others have to come to terms with how their actions affect Roman (especially since Virgil and Patton don’t know yet) but ends with a fluffy cuddle pile and a promise of things getting better. Anyways, love your work and I hope you’re well! – anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: self-doubt, self-esteem issues

Pairings: dlampr, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 3704

Roman wakes up with a hand in his hair and his head pillowed in someone's lap. There's a soft voice murmuring to another soft voice and something quietly humming a few feet away. He mumbles something that's supposed to be a question and the hand stills, before moving to cup his cheek.

"Darling," he hears floating through the quiet haze, "darling, are you awake?"

Yes, he wants to mumble, but then there's another hand on his knee, toying very lightly with the seam of his pants, whispering how it's better to let him sleep, he must be so tired, and he suddenly feels a rush of fear at what being awake would mean.

If he's awake, the lap he's resting on might decide not to let him rest there anymore. If he's awake, the gentle hand on his cheek might decide to leave. If he's awake, he'll have to actually be a person and confront what the hell is going on and that—that might be the worst thing he's had to do in a long time.

Memories float back to him piece by piece. Of the meeting, of his hands aching and wanting to cut them off at the wrists, of afterwards and Logan finding him and everyone coming and being so, so, so scared and not being able to do anything other than lie there and cry, which wouldn't be good for him in any world because Logan already thinks that he's weak and pathetic and bad at being professional or at least good enough for the videos, and then having the most wonderful dream of coming back to awareness with Logan's voice all soft and sweet in his ears, with Janus sitting there too and telling him it's going to be alright, that everything would be alright, and—and—

"I think he's having a nightmare," comes the murmur of Janus's voice now, "shh, sweetie, it's okay, you're safe."

A quiet noise of concern that he only belatedly recognizes as Logan's as the hand on his cheek smooths down to cup his jaw, tilting his head to rest against his hip. "Don't fret, darling. Everything's alright."

"Is it—is it better to wake him up?"

"I'm not sure. I've never…I've never known of Roman's nightmares." Is he imagining it, or is there some genuine remorse in Logan's words? "I've half a mind to summon Remus just to ask, but…"

"I think he's still busy with Patton and Virgil." Janus's fingers smooth over his knee again. "Hush, sweetie, shh-shh-shh…nothing's so bad."

His chest is beginning to ache again. If he—if he wakes up now, what will happen? If he calls an end to this—will they leave him? Will he lose this? He can't remember the last time someone held him like this, showed him this much concern, will he…what will become of him if he lets himself ruin this?

"Roman? Roman, darling, can you hear me?"

Fuck. How is he supposed to ignore Logan when he sounds this plaintive?

"Open your eyes," Logan's coaxing now, fingertips tracing small circles near his temples, "please, little one, you're safe, take a look and see, come now."

He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to—what happens when he has to watch Logan's face slip back towards that cool neutrality? What happens when those warm hands leave him and he's left all cold and alone again? What happens when he has to keep moving even though all he wants to do is stay here, forever, in the quiet and the warmth and never, ever know what it means like to hurt again?

"Please, little one. Please, just—just open your eyes."

Roman is, at his core, a people-pleaser, and his eyes are opening before he registers what's happening. He's immediately greeted with a frowning Logan, a furrow between his brows and a tightness in his mouth that splits into a slow smile when he lets out a confused noise. Behind him, he sees Janus, lying down with Roman's legs outstretched over his lower chest, fingers still stroking absentminded patterns on his knee.

"There you are," Logan murmurs, drawing his attention back, "were you having a nightmare?"

"N-no."

"No? That's—well, that's a relief, to be sure, but then why—" he sighs— "I only mean to say you looked quite terrified, my darling. Did something scare you?"

This. This right now is scaring him. Because Logan doesn't talk to him like this. Logan doesn't look at him softly and touch him gently and worry about him being scared. Logan rolls his eyes and scoffs when Roman tries to bring up something that concerns him. Logan dismisses him and tells him he's being stupid. Logan—Logan—Logan doesn't do this, he doesn't do soft and gentle words and sweet murmurs and he's—at some point, he's going to remember that too.

"Sweetie," and no, Janus is sitting up and putting his hand more firmly on his knee— "sweetie, breathe."

Breathe? Why breathe? Roman's fine, he's breathing, his chest is doing the normal thing where it snaps around like a rubber band and his body feels like it's on fire and his hands are—oh.

"Look at me," Logan says sharply and Roman's eyes dart to him, "that's it, Roman. Focus on me. You are safe. I am not going to hurt you. Janus is not going to hurt you. If you need to be afraid, that's alright, but you do not have to be."

No. No, no, no, he can't panic around Logan, Virgil will get summoned and then everyone will come—and then—and then—

Of course, part of his brain thrills at the delicious irony of panicking over the need not to panic. The rest of him is building the storm in his chest higher and higher and higher until everything is interrupted by something terribly soft pressing against his cheek.

"Shh," Logan whispers, breath brushing delicately over his ear, "shh, little one, you're alright. You're okay. Everything is okay."

"I think you broke him," he hears Janus murmur with nothing but gentle affection, "oh, sweetie…you're still so scared, aren't you? What's terrifying you so?"

"Yes, now is a good time to ask him," Logan says wryly, "while he's still coming out of having a panic attack."

Still, when there's a gentle hand on the underside of his neck coaxing him upwards so he can sniffle into a tissue, Janus's hands are running soothingly up and down his legs like he's trying to calm a skittish horse and Logan doesn't even let him apologize for being a mess. Instead, he's shushed with another kiss to his cheek—and when the hell did that start happening regularly?—and coaxed into leaning against Logan's shoulder. Only then does he realize they're in Janus's room, curled up against the headboard with one of the thick comforters laid over them.

"Wait—how'd—I thought—weren't we in my room?"

"We were," Logan says softly, "and then you started to get cold and we couldn't get you warm, so we moved you in here."

"I was cold?"

"Yes, little one. I intended to ask you about it when you woke up, but it seems there are other things that take precedence right now. First and foremost: are you alright?"

"I'm—I'm not sure." He tries to move his hands and winces, only for Janus to take each between two of his own and begin to massage his palms. "It's—it hurts still."

"Does this hurt?"

"N-not really." Janus brushes his lips against each set of knuckles with a soft smile. "What's—how long has it been since the m-meeting?"

"A few hours. You've been drifting in and out for a while. I'm not sure how much of that you remember."

"What's the last thing you remember, sweetie?"

"B-being on the couch. You—did you pick me up?"

"Yes," Logan chuckles, "yes, I did. You look so surprised, darling, what's the matter?"

"Logan," Janus scolds when Roman's only able to splutter, "you're being mean to our poor prince. How do you expect him to answer when he's all flustered like that?"

"I don't know what it is I'm doing that's making him blush so hard."

"You're making him admit that your strength flusters him, what about that isn't blush inducing? Oh, I know, sweetie, now I'm doing it too," he murmurs, giving his hands a squeeze, "shh, shh, let's all…let's all just take a moment, okay?"

"What's going on," he whines, before he can remember that behaving anything less than perfectly in front of these two is a bad idea, "I don't—I don't understand what's happening!"

"You're here, in Janus's room, sitting on my lap with your legs in Janus's," Logan says immediately in that low, soothing voice that makes Roman want to cry all over again, "you've just come off of a panic attack in the wake of…quite a severe attack from a meeting. I am—that is, we are currently attempting to offer you comfort. I'm growing less certain that we are performing adequately in service of that goal, and as such, I'm going to switch tactics."

Before he can ask what that means, Logan's hand cups the back of his head and pulls him in close. Lips brush his forehead and his breath warms the side of his face.

"Hello, little one," Logan whispers, "it's good to see you awake. Are you still in pain?"

"Y-yeah, a little."

"Is there anything we can do?"

"Not really."

"Alright. I am more than happy to stay with you until you feel better, if that's alright with you?"

"W-why?" No sooner has he asked does the panic spike in his chest but Logan's hand cards through the hair at the base of his skull and he hates how much it settles him instantly. "S-sorry."

"You don't need to apologize, darling, it's all okay. I've recently learned that I've played a big role in making you feel unsafe, and I'm…hoping to rectify that."

"As am I." He'd almost forgotten Janus was still here. He looks over to see his concerned expression, hands still wrapped around his. "You've been alone for a long time, sweetie, and I'm sorry that I've played a part in making you feel like you had to be."

There's a lump in his throat that won't go away. There's a pit in his stomach that's growing wider and wider and wider. There's a voice in his chest whispering nothing lasts forever.

"Talk to me," Logan murmurs when he's quiet for a little too long, "what's going on?"

"I don't understand."

"Understand what, little one?"

"You…you were…you both—I—I'm—"

No, bad, shut up, wrong, be passive.

"That is more than enough out of you," Janus growls. Roman flinches and Logan opens his mouth to scold him only for Janus to reach out and pluck something invisible from the air in front of his chest. He draws it back, a scintillating, glistening line following the movement until he balls it up and flicks it into nothingness. "I've little patience for such lies in my room."

His expression softens when he notices the way Roman's staring at him.

"What is it, sweetie?"

"Y-you—how did you do that?"

"They're lies, sweetie, that's all it is. You don't need to be quiet, you're not wrong, and you definitely don't need to listen to that poisonous little monster masquerading as the voice of reason."

"No, it's not."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not a lie. It's—I have to. Because if I'm not, then you all yell at me or tell me I'm an idiot and then everything's worse," he mutters, "and my hands stop working and then I can't do anything and everything's cold—"

"Shh," Logan murmurs, adjusting the blanket almost unconsciously, "easy, my darling."

"—and it's your fault," he spits, "and I can't—you know what it does to me, you do, because you do it on purpose and I can't stop it and that's not my fault!"

He's panting by the end of it. Logan and Janus don't say a word for a long moment. Then, Logan lets out a breath that shudders across his temple and he leans down to press their foreheads together.

"You're right," he says quietly, "of course you're right, Roman. You're not to blame for something you can't control."

"Why do you hurt me? What did I do so wrong that you decided you'd just hurt me for it?"

"Because you were good at it." Both of them turn to look at Janus, who winces but doesn't take it back. "You were good at getting hurt, Roman. You would—you wouldn't snap back, you wouldn't let it show, you would…you would just take it. And that doesn't make it right—it makes it worse, I know, but that's…that's why it was easier. To hurt you."

It stings. No, it doesn't, it aches. It reaches deep into his chest and finds that part of him he tries so hard to keep buried beneath every single part of his fake princely persona. It hurts because it means that they knew at some level how much this was doing to him, and they didn't care because it was easy. Even if Janus knew more than Logan did, Logan's been really quiet ever since Janus started talking and he's—he's still not denying it, which means Logan knew enough too—

"I didn't know how badly you were hurting," Logan says, "I knew—I knew it made you upset. But I swear to you, Roman, I didn't know how bad it was."

"J-Janus?"

"He's not lying, sweetie. I'm…I will take the lion's share of the blame for using what I knew against you, but—" and here his voice grows firm once more— "I will not be held responsible for making it so you were so unaccustomed to any sort of positive attention that you leapt at the first person who offered it to you."

Logan flinches as though he's been struck. "No, that…that fault I believe lies more completely with me."

"I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you, little one," Logan promises. "I thought—there is no point in attempting to justify myself now. I don't hate you. You don't deserve to be hurt just because I'm too careless or inconsiderate. It's not your fault."

"Why now," Roman says, making a fist but unable to do anything more than that, "why are you being like this now?"

"Because now I've seen how awful it is for you and I never want to play a part in making things get so bad for you ever again." The conviction in his voice makes Roman shudder from the rush of warmth. "I've gone far too long being nothing but your tormentor, if Remus and Janus are to be believed, and I'm not interested in doing that any longer."

"O-oh."

"He's telling the truth," Janus whispers as tears slip like razor blades down his cheeks, "oh, sweetie…"

"Come here," Logan whispers, drawing him into a proper cuddle, "that's it, let me…let me hold you for a little while."

***

"I didn't know," Patton whispers, still staring into nothingness as Remus's absolute tirade comes to an end, "I didn't know."

"Oh, fuck," Virgil's still mumbling—and it says something, doesn't it, that Patton isn't calling him out on his language— "we—we fucked up so bad."

"You did," says Remus, remorseless, "and now you're going to fix it."

"How?" Patton stares up at him with wide eyes. "How do we—if we've messed things up this badly, how—how do we ever hope to fix it?"

Some part of Remus softens the barest amount when he hears the sheer hopelessness in Patton's voice. He sits on the floor, setting his Morningstar next to him, and steeples his fingers. "Roman, for better or for worse, cares an awful lot about you. That will make it easier for him to forgive you, but then you have to actually put in the work to be better."

Patton sniffles. Virgil puts a hand briefly on his shoulder before looking at Remus again. "We don't—how do we do that?"

"You of all people don't get to ask me that, Emo. You've already done your whole little redemption arc, haven't you? To fit in with the Light Sides?" He flinches slightly at how cold Remus sounds when he says that. "Surely you can find it in you to put a little more effort into treating Roman better."

"That's not what I—I know, I know, I'm gonna, I just—I don't know where to start."

Remus's expression darkens again. "Seriously? We just spent how long talking about how much you've fucked up Roman by making him feel unsafe and now you're telling me you don't know where to start?"

"I'm gonna apologize, obviously, but I mean—I don't—"

"We'll ask him," Patton says quickly when Virgil starts to tug at the strings of his hoodie, "when he's—if he's okay with it, we'll ask him what we can do."

"And if he says no?"

"W-well, at some point, maybe he'll be okay to—"

"And what're you gonna do until then, nothing?"

"N-no, we'll—" Patton swallows— "I'm gonna try and be better about making Roman know that he can—by making it clear that I wanna hear what he has to say and that it's worth hearing. I'm not—that's really where I messed up."

Remus nods and turns his glare to Virgil. Virgil shuffles. "I'm…I'm not gonna insult him so much and try and stick up for him when there are—when things get said that are unfair."

"See? You do have some idea of how much you've fucked up and how to fix it." Remus gets to his feet, dusting himself off. "Now, if anything like this ever happens again, I'm going to run an experiment with how much Kraken strength affects the resilience of a Side, are we clear?"

Both Virgil and Patton nod frantically as Remus sinks out, presumably to go and check on his brother. It takes a few more moments of tense silence for Patton to sniffle again and Virgil to lean against his side.

"I didn't know," he whimpers, holding a hand over his mouth, "I thought—I thought Roman was—"

"Stronger?" Virgil winces at how awful it sounds to say out loud. "I know. Me too, but I guess I didn't—I didn't really think about how fucked up that is."

Patton wipes a hand under his nose. "I really didn't know that Roman could get hurt by just what we said."

"I mean it makes a lot of sense now that Remus has said it, you know? He's the Ego. He gets bruised. He needs—he needs positive stuff way more than the rest of us do."

"I never thought of it that way."

"Neither did I."

"Are we—" he sniffles again— "are we ever gonna be okay again, Virgil? Like—are we ever gonna be able to do dinners and movie nights and everything? Or is it…"

The is it all gone goes unspoken but echoes about the room anyway.

"I don't know," is what Virgil eventually settles on, "I just don't know, Pat. I think…I think that's not up to us right now. I think we gotta let Roman set the pace on how things go for a little while."

"I can do that."

"And that means if he doesn't wanna talk to anyone except Remus for a long time, then…then we just gotta deal with that."

"I know," even as he says it like he's just been told his favorite show is being canceled, "that's fair."

"And if he decides that it…" and here Virgil has to take a deep, steadying breath, "…if he decides that he doesn't want things to be better, if he decides that it's not—that it's not ever gonna be better…"

"Then we'll have to deal with that too."

More silence. The fridge buzzes. Someone outside honks their horn and drives off.

"Do you think this is how Roman feels," Virgil asks eventually, "when he's…upset?"

Patton takes a long time to reply. When he does, it's with the slow and solemn voice of someone who has just learned that everything they thought they knew was a terrible, horrible lie.

"I don't think I've known how Roman feels for quite a while now."

***

They don't make any videos for a while.

They don't have meetings. They don't really eat dinner together. There are no movie nights.

Roman stays in his room, or in the Imagination. Remus is with him more often than not. Occasionally, he'll allow Janus to come with, but he never stays for long and he never says anything about what's happening when the others ask him. Even Logan, who notoriously chases down every clue or lead he can find, stays resolutely quiet about what goes on without him.

It's a sobering reality, life without a prince.

***

Roman curls up on the couch with his head in Remus's lap. They're watching something about penguins. Patton sits on the floor near his arm, playing with his hand in his lap. Virgil perches on the back of the couch, his feet tucked securely under Roman's side. At the other end of the couch, Janus has his feet in his lap, one hand wrapped around his ankle. Logan sits on Remus's other side, his hand tangled in Roman's hair.

It's an occasion that's quite far off, still, but it is coming. Slowly, but surely, as they work towards it. Past the somewhat awkward dinners, past the difficult conversations, past the sleepless nights where all Roman wants to do is stay there forever, because it's less scary that what awaits him in the morning. It's a long and hard road, but they're all walking it together, moving steadily towards this moment here, in front of the TV, cuddled together around their prince.

Nothing lasts forever, not even the worst of times, and more good times are always around the corner.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508

[icy-cold-bitch-latte]

How the Sides would comfort a trans reader who's feeling dysphoric

A/N: this is gender neutral so it can be read by any of my fellow trans peeps who's dysphoria has got them feeling down ✌✌

Warnings: talk of dysphoria, Remus in general lol

Patton

Patton gives you all the hugs, kisses and cuddles ever in order to cheer you up

He's very proud that you decided to tell him how you feel rather than bottling it up because he knows from personal experience that repressing your emotions does nothing but makes things worse

He's not the best at cooking but if you have a favorite go to comfort food that makes you feel better then for you he'll definitely try

He ends up wrapping you up in a ton of blankets and pillows and just lays with you on the couch for awhile

Roman

At first, Roman vows to vanquish the beast that's upsetting you...until he realizes it's not a physical threat you're facing, but a mental one

He tries to take your mind off it by telling you stories of his daring adventures, or by putting on your favorite Disney movie, whichever you prefer

He'll call you an enormous plethora of gender affirming pet names until you're basically begging him to stop, and even then he still refuses until you cave and admit what he always believed, that you're perfect in every way

Logan

Logan uses logistics to combat your insecurities by reassuring you that nobody has the power to tell you what gender you are or aren't, regardless of how you present

He makes to sure look up plenty of coping mechanisms and suggestions for how to deal with dysphoria ahead of time so he has ample knowledge and understanding for how to make you feel better

Not the best at comforting you if you happen to get emotional but he might give you a hug or something if it's clear you need one

Virgil

As a conscious being made up of anxiety, Virgil notices your panic and distress as soon as he sets foot in the same room as you (that's probably what urged him to seek you out in the first place tbh)

When you panic, he panics, but he tries to keep it together so you won't notice and get even more upset

He has several tried and true methods that always work to calm people down, so once that happens and you can explain to him what's up he understands almost immediately

If you want to talk about it, great, if not he's content to just listen to music with you and hang out until you feel better

Janus

You being upset, especially over a topic that's so serious, is not something Janus takes lightly

It may appear as though he doesn't care all that much at first due to his stoic expressions, but that's just because he's trying to think of the right thing to say

He may be the literal physical embodiment of deceit, but if you're upset he'll try his best to be honest with you about how much he cares

Brings out all six of his arms so you can have the most amount of cuddles and physical affection all at once

Remus

Remus's comforting skills leave a lot to be desired, so unless you can deal with him making the most random outrageous sex jokes in an effort to cheer you up it's probably best that you just spend some time alone for a bit

He's incredibly clingy however so it won't be long before he comes begging to you for attention, on literal hands and knees might I add

If you do let him stay with you when you're upset you should make it clear to him you're not in any sort of mood to deal with his shenanigans

He'll actually listen for once and the two of you end up pranking the other sides together until you eventually get bored and decide to watch some horror movies instead

~

Sanders Sides masterlist | 🏷 taglist: @iloveentrapta @feralwenis

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

The Lost Library

The Library was, first and foremost, a sanctuary.

The Library was infinite, The Library was filled with things - all anyone could ever want. Those who lived under The Library’s roof were happy.

The Library was, to Virgil, nothing more than an extravagantly decorated prison.

----

| Ao3 | Next Chapter -> |

Warnings: None

Pairings: none

Word Count: 2327

Notes:

This fic is WEIRD and not in my normal style, what's going on is so vague to me that it was difficult to tag, it might even fall into some kind of unreality catagory if you're super sensitive to that kind of thing.

I'd love it if you read it though!! I really like this fic.

Inspired by one of my university lectures about writing styles, perspectives and tenses.

----

The Library was, first and foremost, a sanctuary.

The Library was infinite, The Library was filled with things - all anyone could ever want. Those who lived under The Library’s roof were happy.

The Library was, to Virgil, nothing more than an extravagantly decorated prison.

—

They had all been running, that's how most of these stories start, after all, with a scene where someone runs from a vague and distant terror into somewhere unknown and infinitely more terrifying. Or, perhaps, infinitely better. It really depended on who you were to ask. 

Logan, for example, may tell you that the place they ended up was the best place they possibly could have found. Logan had stepped through its gates and found they never wanted to leave. Logan had been here the longest, and thus they were The Keeper.

Patton could be incredibly optimistic. Patton thought it was beautiful, that the smell of books reminded her of something distant but safe, the kitchens that had built themselves just for her were perfect. Patton, really, mourned for the life she once had, for the people she once knew. She would never let you know that, though. Patton has been here a long time too, she is the Caretaker.

Janus prefers to stay neutral on the matter. Is it good? Is it bad? Well who’s to say? Janus - really - quite enjoys it, and its inhabitants though they can get on their nerves. She would never say such things out loud, though. Janus is very secretive about himself, her identity, their thoughts, no-one knows much about her - not even when he came to be here. Janus is the Gatekeeper. 

Finally, the Twins, Roman and Remus are their names, both love where they’ve ended up. Roman likes the stage, and the way his voice echoes off the distant ceilings and the way his very existence has come to shift. Remus loves the dark dusty corners, where secrets go to hide and words uncared for collect dust. The Twins haven’t been here as long as the others - Logan may tell you there was another before them, but don’t listen to them, for it isn’t possible for someone to leave The Library. Roman and Remus are the Ideas.

—

The cold air slices at Virgil’s face as they run against the wind of the dark storm. The storm that tries to drag them back in with every step they take. Icy tendrils like hands that grab at them, pulling at their hair and jacket and skirts, pinching at their already ashen skin and blistering their fingertips blue and purple and black with cold. 

Virgil knows, somehow, that if they can just keep pushing then they might escape. It could be safe. Succumbing to the storm that tries to catch them as they walk is not the ending to this story. It is not inevitable that they fall here, Virgil thinks that perhaps whatever higher powers live above don’t want this chapter to be the end of their story, Virgil can’t help but feel like there’s more for them after this. 

They aren’t sure how they know this, but something that may not even be inside them is screaming over the little voice in their head crying ‘this is the end’ to tell them to keep going, get to the other side and they will be safe. Virgil finds that no matter the feeling of rocks in their stomach and lead bricks on their feet they want to listen to the voice telling them that it’ll be okay. And so they keep pushing through the storm. 

Just when the moment approached that Virgil thought that their legs may give out, that they may be rendered unable to continue further, something changed. 

They trip forward, or, more accurately, run and stumble at the sudden lack of resistance in their path. They crumple to the ground, finding - with a jarring thud - that there are wooden planks beneath them instead of the snow they had been practically wading through seconds before. Virgil feels warmth wash over them - almost as though they had just stepped into a summer sunbeam, the ice on their clothes already thawing into a puddle below them.

When they finally manage to peel open their frosted shut eyes, Virgil sees in front of them a large stone fireplace in which a bright woodfire was blazing. There is the source of the heat, Virgil muses, not quite aware enough yet to wonder how exactly they had gotten here from the storm outside.

The fire was separated from them by a large metal grate atop the stone slabs that separated the fireplace from the wooden floor. Atop the wooden mantle piece sat… photos, and above that a large mirror, surrounded by yet more pinned up photos. 

Quickly, Virgil was able to discern that the photos all depicted various members of the same group of five people. As they look, though, they realise that in each photo these people seem to host various inhuman features, ranging from something subtle as sharply pointed ears to obvious as bird legs and massive wings. Virgil wonders, their mind finally catching up with their observations, where the hell they are. 

—

“There's a new book! A new book!” Remus practically screams as xey search for Logan, or perhaps Janus, running through halls and halls of books as though xey can fly, each step lifting xem off the ground like xey are feather light, xey barely stop when xey run full force into a taller figure and go tumbling to the ground, “Logan! New book! On the Altar!”

Logan, admittedly, hadn’t been interested in Remus’ yelling at first. New books appeared in The Library all of the time. A new book appeared every time some human had a thought, an idea, or a story popped into their head. A new book wasn’t very interesting to Logan the Keeper, but a new book on the Altar? Now that catches their interest. 

A new book on the altar meant that someone new had arrived at The Library. Logan hadn’t seen a book on the altar in a few hundred years. Not since the twins. 

Remus bounces on the balls of xer feet, whilst Logan frowns, tapping into the stream of consciousness that they usually tuned out - the one that let them feel when every new book was added to the library. Sure enough, one such feeling burned brighter, felt more intense, then the others. 

“Show me,” Logan says eventually, gesturing for Remus to lead the way. Xey do so gladly. 

When they arrive at the altar, Logan and Remus find they have been beaten to it by Patton, who had felt the new arrival’s fear and confusion so greatly that she had had not much choice but to seek out the Altar.

“Janus has gone to find them,” Patton says immediately, answering the unspoken question that the three of them had all been thinking. Janus feels the new arrivals more strongly than any of the rest of them, after all, “The poor kiddo is so scared.”

Patton looks as though she might cry as she brushes her fingers gingerly over the sixth book that now sits on the altar - along with the other five. The book is pitch black, aside from the way it is streaked with silver thread that Logan thinks looks a little like shattered glass, though Remus thinks it resembles spiderwebs, Patton thinks it looks a little like feathered icing on a cake and Janus thinks it looks like icy tendrils in a storm.

None of them are incorrect, really. The patterns on the books don’t mean any one certain thing. If anyone was most correct, though, it would be Janus, which she would boast about abhorrently, so we shall continue saying that they are all correct, so that no-one has to deal with such annoyances.

“It’s cold to the touch,” Patton whispers, still brushing her fingers over the cover of the book, she doesn’t dare look inside - none of them look inside these particular books, “Soft, though, almost like a worn out jacket.”

Logan’s curiosity gets the better of them, and they step up onto the dais where the altar sits and brush their fingers experimentally across the book - it is soft, exactly how Patton described it to be - and icy to the touch in a way that bites at Logan’s fingers. They wonder how Patton can keep touching it. Remus, of course, unable to control xer impulses the vast majority of the time anyway, jumps up after Logan. Remus recoils when xey touch the book, but xey go back to touch it a second time anyway. 

“My goodness!” A loud, boisterous voice blast through the quiet atmosphere the three at the altar had settled into as Roman soars into the scene on the large white-feathered wings that they had chosen to sport today, “What in the stars has gotten everyone so energetic?”

“New book!” Patton answers with a laugh that sounds almost like a bell’s chime, “Didn’t you feel it?”

“I don’t pay attention to such things,” Roman tells her with a dismissive wave of their hand, “New folk aren’t exactly my domain - is this the book? It looks rather… dull… don’t you think?”

Patton sighs and immediately Roman knows that they’re about to be chastised.

“Now Roman,” Patton says in a tone that’s gentle but still implies that they’ve done something wrong, Patton doesn’t like upsetting the other Library residents, but it is her job to keep relationships running smoothly, “We shouldn’t judge our new friend by their book - especially not when we haven’t even met them yet.”

After reproachfully agreeing - because Roman knows better now than to argue with Patton - Roman looks around as though the new resident is going to appear out of nowhere, “Have we even found them yet?”

“Janus is looking,” Logan replies simply, turning to look out across the expanse of The Library with a sombre-adjacent expression. None of the others - not even Patton - can quite discern what they’re feeling. 

—

Virgil sat in front of the fireplace for a length of time that somehow felt both like eternity and no time at all. They didn’t quite know how that could possibly work, those two sensations were so different, but for the moment they decided to put that aside, because at present there were many worse things to be worried about.

Like the person they can hear sneaking around somewhere behind them, and the prickling sensation on the back of their neck that they knew meant they were being watched. They were used enough to that particular sensation to recognise it, at least.

“Show yourself, I know you’re there,” Virgil attempts to demand, though their voice comes out hoarse and croaky and quiet. They think briefly that they would really like a glass of water and one appears directly in front of them, startling Virgil enough that they lash out and knock it over. The water disappears before it even hits the floor, leaving behind an empty glass.  

Virgil glances around - hoping whoever is watching him hadn’t seen that blunder - before sighing.

They then do a double take, because in the darkness where they could just about see what looked to be the edges of bookshelves they could see one glowing yellow eye with a slitted pupil.

Snake. Virgil thought immediately. Their eyes go back to the photos on the mantle - a few of them contain a person wearing a capulet and hat that covers their face. In only one photo is their face visible, and it looks as though they’re adorned with snake scales on one side.

“Hello?” Virgil calls out again, voice still just as raspy - talking feels not dissimilar to how they imagine rubbing sandpaper across their vocal chords might feel, “I… I’m sorry if I’m intruding - I really don’t know how I got here - I’ll leave if you show me an exit?”

The snake person laughs, it’s not mocking, like many of the laughs Virgil has heard in the past, more… melancholy, a little sombre, in tone.

“There is no leaving this place now that you’ve entered,” They said from the shadows, “The library has chosen you, you do not get to decide whether you go or stay.”

Virgil’s blood seemed to freeze in their veins as they stared at the snake person. They wondered aloud; “Does that mean I’m trapped?”

The stranger hummed, “You could say that, I suppose, but there are many, many worse places to be, let me assure you.”

“Who are you?” Virgil asks, instead of responding to the answer they were given. They try to shake away the loop of ‘trapped trapped stuck bad trapped’ ringing in their ears, but it doesn’t seem to work.

They don’t answer for a long moment, before the snake eye disappears and Virgil can’t shake the image of the person from the photos tipping their oversized hat. Somehow the action left Virgil feeling like he’d won something. Maybe he’d just succeeded in that interaction.

“I am the Gatekeeper of The Library,” the stranger tells him, “But that’s a mouthful, you can call me Deceit, for now.”

“Is that your real name?” Virgil asks, only because the ‘for now’ tacked onto the end makes it feel like it wasn’t. Deceit chuckles.

“No, it is not,” Deceit tells him, but doesn’t elaborate, instead asking: “and who might you be?”

“Should I give a fake name, too?” Virgil asks, because for some reason their anxieties in the moment are all focused on messing up the etiquette of this place, rather than focusing on the things that really matter.

“If you would like,” Deceit answers vaguely once again, “It may give you an edge - but it is by no means a necessity.”

Virgil thinks he’ll take that as a yes, for now, they’re pretty sure they don’t have room in their brain to work out what Deceit is really trying to say.

“You can call me Anxiety, then.” 

----

Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @scalesfeathersnfur @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @littlerat2 (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

[masha-nikita]

How strong is his Mars?- Bernard Montgomery-

Here I am, two episodes of “How strong is his Mars? all at once. I am going to test a theory in Astrology community- you’ve got to have a strong Mars to be competent in the military.

Whether that theory is true or not, you guys know I have to talk about Monty.

Monty has Mars in Virgo; you see, I am writing about his Mars back to back with Patton’s, because Patton also has a Virgo Mars- so far, that makes 3 outstanding generals with Virgo Mars-- even though it is my opinion that Manstein’s Moon, not Mars, is where his military magic happens. Here I can say, Monty and Patton’s Mars works against the odds, and performs better, above Erich’s score.

I commented on Manstein’s Virgo Mars as follows- if stands alone without any other aspects, this Mars is too detail-oriented for its own good, especially in a fast-paced battlefield. An earth sign Mars has poor ability to take actions by intuition and improvising, unless favorably aspected by Neptune or moon. Virgo Mars possesses delicate tendencies to handle smaller details but may easily lose sight of what needs to be done on a grand scale. This Mars makes its native a fussing workaholic.

Monty’s Mars trines Neptune; this indicates that he intuits enemy actions reasonably well. With Mercury and Sun in harmonious sextile aspects, he’s supposed to be very reasonable, and his decision making process grounded in reality. A 3rd house Mars endows active mind. Any malefic astro body in 3rd house becomes innovative and stimulating to the wits (yes, Mars is considered a malefic), which allows the native to be very smart during arguments. I do not think Monty appreciates small talks—small talks would be regarded as petty nonsense by him. His speeches do have very good leadership quality, very exhilarating to listen to.

This is actually a pretty good Mars, but poor Monty has other aspects that aren’t that good.

Monty’s Sun opposites Pluto and Neptune, just like Manstein’s. This brings the native great difficulty in assessing their ego (represented by Sun). This flaw would destine them on a long, hard journey to find who they truly are as an “independent self”. Manstein’s Sun is in 8th house opposite 2nd house Pluto-Neptune; he might have been secretly very concerned with how posterity would value him after his death. What is of personal value that belongs to Erich may be a source of great illusion and inner tension, if handled unwisely. This value struggle may render him a hard cynic whose only concern is money and self-preservation.

Whereas for Monty (4th house sun, 11th house Neptune-Pluto), it looks like worldly reputation for the Montgomery family name is the struggle here—or maybe it is just his own name to be his desperate concern. Family is where a person was born into, and where they eventually establish themselves, and then dies into. He may have an exaggerated sense of patriotism if he could not agree with the family he was born into, or could not find his own family to belong to. He might view anybody who’s outside of his immediate circle “the troublesome other”, a great source of power struggle. It is not easy for him to acquire a smooth friend circle. With a 11th house Pluto, some explosive shit constantly goes down between he and his supposed social groups—he’s a bit antisocial, in a neutral sense of the word.

Now moving on to his Saturn—any planet in conjunction with the ascendant should be given special attention. I admit it is not an amateur astrologer’s place to call a person’s chart “unfortunate”, but there’s something so deeply karmic with Monty’s Saturn.

This Saturn—which symbolizes rigid structure, hard disciplines, delays and pessimism, could act like an invisible iron prison for the native; the tighter the conjunction with the ascendant, the tighter the iron grip. Either he secretly denies himself any personal enjoyments possible, or life would strip him of happiness by taking away important loved ones from him. A positive side of this aspect is that, while it does not give good creativity to weasel oneself out of a danger, it is unphased by any kind of pain and suffering the danger brings.

A Leo Saturn is not fun to deal with, because Saturn is in detriment in Leo. Leo’s natural ruler is Sun; the key words of Sun are “accomplishments, authority, and self-worth”. Saturn not only hollows out Leo’s self-worth, but the native is also very suspicious of any authority over them. Monty may constantly question how come somebody deserves such authority, and how does himself deserve anything? We could hear from Churchill’s single quote on Monty showing how bad he is in getting along with authority- “In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.”

It is very difficult for the native to learn about love, because love always involves a level of surrender. With such a karmic aspect, occasionally when Leo Saturn finds someone to love, he'd lose that person in a traumatic fashion. The native might end up going “fuck it, I give up.” Given this Saturn conjuncts ascendant, Monty sees no problem in denying himself worldly love and enjoyment. Leo Saturn is able to maintain some lightheartedness, a little bit of warped hero complex, thus the native is capable of dark humor.

Monty’s Saturn actually conjunct his ascendant from 12th house- a 12th house Saturn doubles down on certain problems. Saturn generally seeks to hold onto anything structured and concrete, yet 12th house is anything but. 12th house rules the afterlife, the disappearance, dissolution, the invisible worlds and creatures—dreams, unconscious, psychic realms, and illusions. Saturn in 12th native secretly believes in his own original sins, and is acutely conscious of and anxious about the existence beyond death. This Saturn has a tendency to draw the native into hermetic isolation and practices, because it is the world of the beyond that he looks at, the world where his loved ones have gone before he does.

However, sometimes this 12th house Saturn gives the exact opposite effect—what is beyond death and what is out there where everything dissolves into inmateriality, is such an acute issue that the native holds onto things and powers of this world to an excessive degree. For example, Vladimir Putin has a 12th house Saturn.

This series so far does draw a conclusion that perhaps it is not the Mars that brings forth a good general—I see no fire sign Mars. I haven’t even seen a Capricorn Mars (Mars is exalted in Capricorn). But I do see an unexpected common denominator- these commanders are all psychic on some level. I couldn’t help but wonder- what does “being psychic” really mean?

Perhaps it means the special ability either to reach into death, or to walk upon thousands of men’s life and death, the strength of coming to terms with the mortality of all the mortalities.

It might be a hot take for some people, but I really don’t see much psychic power from those famous 20th century occultist, especially Aleister Crowley. Neither his 8th nor 12th house is prominent; I don’t know what’s up with him. Maybe Crowley’s strength lies in his knowledge. I can statistically compare my own psychic ability against my friend, by measuring whose Tarot readings have longer projection into the future via client feedbacks, but what I see featured the most in many self-proclaimed magi isn’t psychic power, but the ego. Ego attracts egos, so there you go, a guru whose ego as big as the universe for the rainbow unicorn groupies to resonate with.

I digress. I love that there’s always smile in the corner of Monty’s eyes despite his Saturn, that’s the sign of an indefeatable man. This song is for him. May warmth and may love conquer all.