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theeyesofeywa · 2 years ago

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"Growing Pains" is exactly what I felt as I read this! Aaaaaaaa!!!

Growing Pains

Neteyam Sully x Reader

Warnings: slight smut, cursing, angst, arranged marriage

Word Count: 7.5k

Notes: Reader is 19, Neteyam is 20.

"It's for the clan, 'ite."

Those are the words that leave air trying desperately to claw its way up your lungs. It's the morning of your nineteenth cycle—one that should be celebrated, but instead, you're here.

A warm palm encompasses your bicep, and your mother's voice which usually brought comfort now brings dread. "Everything will be okay, yawne. You will grow to love him."

Those are the words they leave you with. Your feet are like boulders as you walk to your corner of the hut, hands are like a hot coal as you shove things into a pouch. It doesn't take long for your belongings to be tucked away, and you wonder if anyone will be sad when they stare at your empty hammock. Will your brother stop when he comes to visit, and let his eyes linger on the space you once occupied? Will your father's ears ring when he walks into silence at the end of each day? Will your mother miss sitting with you near the fire, sides pressed together as you talk about your day? And your sister—would she miss your gossip?

You tell yourself you should have argued. Maybe kicking and screaming like a child would change their minds. Maybe it would deter the man they're handing you off to, but something in you holds back. It's the small flecks of approval you see in your father's eyes when you don't bark out a dispute. It's an emotion that you haven't seen in...well, forever.

Hunting was never your forte. Healing was never something you yearned to do. Blending into the crowd, however, was your best skill. But blending into a crowd isn't something that the daughter of a fierce Olo'eyktan should be able to do.

Your older brother often surpassed you when it came to being a good clan member. He hunted well, he was strong and gregarious with the people. Then there was your sister, who seemed to have every aspect of her life figured out. She was mated already, had one baby on her hip and another in her womb, and never seemed to do wrong in anyone's eyes.

It was obvious the way your father's eyes would change when he looked from them to you. Almost like catching sight of a bruised fruit amongst a perfectly ripe pile.

So when he tells you this, that giving your hand in marriage will benefit the clan, you find it hard to dispute him. It seems like the only way to finally gain his pride.

"I know handing your daughter off is not easy to do, but she will be treated well here. I give you my word." The Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya says.

Your father breathes out a laugh, "I trust that she will, JakeSully."

You wish you had argued.

Though the Omatikaya doesn't live too differently from your clan, everything feels wrong. The air feels too hot, the wind too harsh against your skin, and you just want to go home.

When your father stops walking, you nearly slam into his back, but you catch yourself just in time, and you only see this because you can't tear your eyes from the ground below you.

"This is my son Neteyam." Jake's voice is no more than a distorted echo in your ears. "My oldest. He is a good man, he will protect your daughter in their union."

Your stomach turns, eyes unable to focus on anything. A scream fights its way up your throat, but you swallow it down bitterly. You can't stop thinking about the admiring eyes your father has for his other children, and you yearn for that. It keeps your feet planted against soft earth as you're being traded—offered like a piece of fabric between seamstresses.

"Ma'ite," your father places a calloused hand against your back, "say hello."

Timorous eyes lift from the dirt, glancing at your father who holds an expectant expression. And when you finally allow yourself to meet the gaze of the man chosen to be your husband, the air gets knocked out of your lungs.

Your lack of oxygen is not due to the sheer beauty of the man in front of you. It isn't because of his broad shoulders and thick arms, or the neat braids that fall just above his pecks. It isn't the scent of herbal balms wafting off of him, either.

No, it isn't that.

It's his eyes. The ones that burn holes into your skin, leaving scorching trails as they assess you. It's the way his jaw clenches pensively. He's so intense that it makes you squirm, makes heat creep up your neck and into your cheeks.

It's the way he looks like he would rather be anywhere than right here.

And yet, something in you urges the words out. They're a meek sound, but words, nonetheless. "I see you, Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan,"

He says the greeting back, voice strong and holding the confidence that you've lacked forever. You think then that he can see it in you. His gaze alone is calling you weak, pathetic, and you can't really argue with him.

You both stand there, children of renowned chiefs, yet you couldn't be more different.

Neteyam holds light in his palms. You can tell he's nothing less than golden in his village—his father even stares at him as such. He stands straight and tall, his body composed. You can only imagine by his build that he's a skilled hunter, impossible to beat in a spar, and he's probably three steps ahead in every altercation.

Across from him, you stand. You're half hidden behind your father, eyes bouncing nervously from the ground to his own. Hair falls over your face in a flustered curtain, and you don't bother to move it, either. Looking at you, it's obvious that you're nothing like him.

He's the sun. People stretch out under his rays of light, basking in it.

You're the moon. People grow tired under your glow, and they don't spare you a second glance.

Neteyam speaks up, eyebrows furrowing just slightly as he stares at you. His words dig into your skin because what he's really trying to say is that he doesn't want this, either. "It is for the clan."

And you look right back at the ground, eyes pricking with tears that you blink away before they can really surface. This is just a transaction, your father handing you off for the betterment of his people, and Neteyam's father accepting you for the betterment of his.

"I will do my best. As your wife, and as a member of this clan." You say despite the weight of speaking, and your father's hand squeezes gently at your shoulder in approval.

After all, approval is all you want.

Blending in is your best skill, and yet, you are a spectacle.

Harsh eyes trail your every move, and you wish nothing more than to sink into yourself and be invisible. You know word has traveled fast that the Omatikaya's beloved prince has finally chosen a mate. Their eyes hold the silent question, why you? You see this everywhere, even when you offer meek smiles to your watchers.

When you meet Neteyam's mother, you see where his intensity comes from. Her eyes blaze into your skin like his did, but you don't squirm, because there's something different about the two. Neteyam's eyes picked you apart, piece by piece, but Neytiri's do no such thing. She's intense, but her eyes give you comfort. You can see your own mother in her face—a fierceness to protect her children that no one would be able to hinder her from. You think she might see you, too, because her gaze melts into something soft and maternal.

Jake is kind. He's busy a lot, but being the daughter of a chief, you understand. When you do see him, you're shy. He chuckles a lot at your timid responses, but it isn't to ridicule you.

Lo'ak is quiet when you meet him. He's younger than you, scrawny and bashful. Heat spreads across his cheeks when you smile at him, and something about his awkwardness makes you feel safe. It's endearing, similar to the way Jake thinks of your gentleness.

Kiri is so warm and receptive. She's the first person that makes you think that things might be okay—that you may be happy here. Her careful hand holds one of your own and she says, "I think you and I will be great friends."

And then there's Tuk. The sweet girl smiles up at you so big when you meet her for the first time that you can't help the laugh that falls from your mouth. You crouch before her, allowing her small hands to run over your long hair.

She's your favorite, even if you aren't really supposed to choose.

For the first few weeks, at least one Sully is glued to your side. Rarely is it Neteyam, who claims to be too busy with his duties. You don't mind though, being away from his penetrating stare.

"What did you do back home?" Kiri asks you one day.

Soft moss kisses your feet as you walk, and for a moment, you imagine you're back in your own village.

Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you tell her, "I taught the children, mostly. I'm not too good at hunting."

You aren't sure why you admit that, but Kiri feels safe. When she laughs, it's sweet, and comfort blooms in your chest. "Neither am I."

Silence blankets the two of you. She's a bit younger than you, but she feels wise. She reminds you of your sister. And though the thought washes you with homesickness, part of you is drawn to it.

"Would you like to do that here?" Kiri asks after a moment. "Work with the children, I mean."

"I would love to, but I feel like I should do more."

"Working with the children is plenty, trust me." The Sully girl chuckles. "We don't have too many gentle souls here. Your presence would be appreciated,"

It's one of the few moments since you've arrived that you grin. Kiri smiles right back, her warm hand clasping yours. "You don't have to be so kind to me,"

"You are my family now, eylan." She hums. "I will speak to my father about you teaching."

"Thank you, Kiri."

The days begin to go by quicker, and your heart feels a bit of ease when you're thrust into caring for the village children. You spend the hours of the day teaching them, relishing in their accepting souls. They don't judge you, don't tell you that you're too quiet. They watch you with the only thing you've ever wanted.

Approval.

Evenings aren't so easy. Your stomach twists in nervous anticipation once the sun goes down, hands shaky as you prepare dinner. Your hut is empty apart from yourself until soft taps sound against the frame. When you swivel around and find Neteyam, that same breathless feeling always surfaces, and his same harsh stare is always there. The two of you eat quietly, even though the point of having dinner together at all is to get to know each other.

It isn't fair to blame him. You can only imagine that it's just as hard for him—accepting some stranger as a wife, solely for his people. He doesn't have to love you.

But you wish he would try.

You wish he wouldn't glare so much.

You wish the roughness of his voice would soften, just once.

You wish the smile wouldn't be wiped right off of his face when he lays eyes on you.

"My father says our ceremony will be in a few days." He tells you.

You try not to drop your glass of water, hands shaking. In a few days, you will be officially mated. Officially locked into a loveless marriage.

Approval urges you to speak. "Okay."

"I know that this is not ideal," His voice is gruff, even after he clears his throat, "but it is for the people."

You don't love him. You know that you don't, and still, his words sting. Because at least you are willing to try, willing to let him into your heart. The look on his face tells you that his own is under lock and key.

You wonder if it will always be this way. Would he come home every evening with cold eyes and stiff shoulders? Would you just be a womb to produce children for him? A warm body to sink into at night? Tears burn your eyes, but you blink them away.

"Right." You say. "It's for the people."

Your eyes fall to your lap before you're able to catch the crease between his eyebrows softening.

At your ceremony, it's impossible to blend in. The whole thing is centered around you and Neteyam, and the thought tugs nervously at your heart. You use the training you've been through all your life—sit up straight and poised. Smile when spoken to. Speak with confidence.

The last part is hard, especially when you catch Neteyam downing whatever is in his cup, because he'd rather be anywhere but here. People congratulate him, and he thanks them. But you know better.

His skin is hot when you touch him. Your bodies are practically pressed together during the ceremonial dance. You wonder if he feels your heart thudding so wildly against him.

Warm breath fans against your ear. "Are you having a good time?"

The question almost shocks you, but then you remember who he is. Son of the Olo'eyktan. It's his job to check on his people, one of which you are now. You tell yourself he doesn't really care, that he's just being a gentleman because that's what he is. Even though he often looked at you indignantly, he was never cruel. You think that if he wasn't forced to mate you, he might be quite nice.

"Your family has been very kind to me. This ceremony is beautiful," You say, hoping he won't linger on your evasiveness. "Are you having a good time?"

His ear flicks lightly against your hair, trying to catch the soft sound of your voice. "I'm drunk."

What you think he's trying to say, is that he's doing whatever he can to get through the night.

You truly look beautiful under the gentle glow of the Tree of Souls. Your skin looks so soft, so plush, and Neteyam almost reaches out to touch your light, but you don't notice. Your eyes are glued to your feet.

"Are you ready?" He asks.

No. You aren't, but you nod anyway.

Trembling fingers undo the knots of your top, then your loincloth and a nearly unbearable heat engulfs your face. Neteyam does the same with his own clothing, and his hands feel unsure as he leads you down to the soft dirt.

His mouth leaves wet kisses against your skin until your neck is littered with evidence of him. His fingers seem to grow more confident, wandering parts of you that haven't been explored by anyone but yourself. You say you don't love him, yet you careen into his touch. Pretty noises leave your mouth, only to be caught by his ears, and you hope he'll hold them there.

Kisses from him never reach your lips, because despite being together now—literally preparing to seal your souls for life—kissing you there seems too intimate.

Neteyam leans up slightly, deft hands pulling his kuru over his shoulder. He gazes at you, pupils blown in arousal as he waits for you to pull your longest braid from behind your back.

It's the first time you haven't felt so small under his eyes.

The pink endings of your braids twine together, making you both exhale with the new sensation. His lips are back on your neck then, and as soon as you tell him it's okay, he's pushing himself into you.

You shouldn't have gotten your hopes up, but apart from physical pleasure, you feel nothing.

This is a task for him. The final part in becoming a mated pair. It's just something he has to do, and it makes a part of your chest hurt. You tell yourself you don't love him.

You don't love him.

And he certainly doesn't love you.

He can feel your embarrassment, your rejection, and you know this. You try to push it away, but just like you can feel every inch of his being, he can feel yours. Still, you close your eyes, breathe in against his wide shoulders and let his scent make you dizzy. You focus on the noises he makes, the way he moves. Anything to avoid your own feelings.

When you both finish, he stills and allows himself a moment to catch his breath. The movements of your body feel like something of autopilot; standing when he does, slowly tugging your clothes back on, each of you with your backs turned to each other.

The wave of emotion that hits you does so harshly. You aren't sure what it is. Maybe it's the ache between your thighs, or maybe it's the loss of his body heat that suddenly makes you feel so cold, but your eyes begin to burn. You can't push it away this time.

One drop falls, and then another, and soon, you have your head in your hands and you're swimming in tears.

Your first time shouldn't have been like this. You shouldn't have been a chore, and Neteyam shouldn't have been one either.

Dammit, you wish you would have argued with your father.

Blending in is something you want to do right now, and you try, stifling sobs behind your palms. But Neteyam hears you. His head whips around, eyes landing on your crumpled body, and you feel their burn on your back.

He takes a hesitant step forward, voice holding trepidation. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," You breathe, "no, I'm okay."

But you aren't okay. You are so far from okay, and that's obvious to both of you. Still, you take in a deep breath and try and stop the sobs from racking your body. His hand is big, nearly engulfing your entire shoulder as he turns you carefully, but you can't meet his eyes.

He asks again. "Did I hurt you?"

"No." You step away from his touch, away from his intoxicating air. "You were gentle, Neteyam. I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying."

He watches you for a long moment. Your dainty fingers wiping away tears, chest hiccuping, breathing on the verge of hysteria. You're not okay, yet you tell him that you are. You downplay your hurt so that he won't feel bad. He doesn't even have to love you, you just want acceptance.

Neteyam knows the feeling all too well.

The man hangs his head, and his chest pangs with something unfamiliar. He wishes there was something he could do to make you stop crying, but his touch won't help. The feeling of you still lingers in his mind—your want to belong, your heart opening and fraying at the edges.

"I'm sorry," He says.

When you lift your head, it's him who won't look at you. "It isn't your fault. You don't have to apologize to me,"

He feels like he does. You're a stranger to him, but he doesn't like seeing you cry. He doesn't like the way your big eyes won't stop glimmering with sorrow. He doesn't like hearing your soft sniffles, or your hiccuped breaths. He doesn't like that you aren't okay, but you tell him you are anyway.

"Let me take you back home." Neteyam proposes quietly.

"Aren't we supposed to stay out longer? Won't people talk about us? " You ask, eyes widening at the thought of trekking through even more accusatory stares.

Most newly mated couples would stay out for hours, exploring each other, basking in their love. But you and Neteyam aren't the same as them.

He's the sun.

You're the moon.

"It isn't anyone's business." He snaps, his blazing eyes lifting suddenly, landing on yours. You wince at the roughness of his voice and he sighs before trying again. "People will still be celebrating. They won't worry about us."

You wipe your face, nodding. "I would like to go home."

Neteyam walks ahead of you, though not far. You watch your feet, missing his frequent glances at your trailing form. The hut is dark when you step inside, though the smell of something sweet fills your nose. You take a look over your shoulder and you see your husband hesitating at the door, shifting from foot to foot. It might be the first time you've seen him look so unsure.

"Aren't you coming in?" You ask.

His eyes flick to yours, slightly wide. "Yeah,"

"It's yours now, too. Please don't feel unwelcome," Your voice is so soft that again, his ears have to strain to hear you.

Gentle. That's the first word he thinks of when he looks at you. Because even after being forced to give yourself completely to him, even after feeling so rejected, you're still kind.

Neteyam clears his throat. "I'll light a fire."

While he does that, your silent feet stalk over to the corner where you keep your things. You're quick with changing, wiping your body down to feel a bit more like yourself. Even after doing so, the smell of him lingers on your skin, like it's a part of you now.

Orange light illuminates the space and you're glad for the heat that the flames give off, but if your mood could sour any more, it surely does when you look around your home. Someone has come in and placed baskets of fruit and sprinkled the petals of beautiful flowers over your floor. There are even petals strewn about your hammock.

The gesture is nice, but you don't want it. You don't want to be reminded of how backward this situation is.

You pull your bottom lip into your mouth, chewing on the plush skin so you can keep yourself together. You feel his eyes on you again, burning as you swipe the petals from your bed. Neteyam doesn't look away until you lay down, body taking up the smallest corner of the hammock that you can. Even after that, he allows himself brief looks, and he knows by the tense rising and falling of your ribs that you aren't asleep.

At some point during the night, when sleep begins to embrace your mind, you feel him lay beside you. He does the same thing that you did hours earlier: rests himself on the edge of the bed to give you space. You still feel the skin of his back brushing yours, warm and soft.

You dream of him. The way he felt inside you, the way his lips felt against your neck. You dream of him taking a moment to look into your eyes when his own aren't so harsh. You dream of his voice telling you that you mean something to him.

The thing that wakes you in the morning is the sun. It's bright and higher in the sky than you're used to, making you squeeze your eyes shut harder. You feel the dull ache between your thighs, and it makes you realize that the warmth of Neteyam's body is gone.

It takes more strength than you would like to admit to swing your legs over the side of the bed. You find a cup of something herbal waiting for you near the fire, resting on a coal. It's still warm and you sip at it greedily.

You figure Kiri must have poked her head in earlier and left it for you. She's been such a kind friend ever since you arrived.

Soft knocks sound at the doorway of your home, leaving you to call out a welcome. Just the person you're thinking of walks in.

"Hey, eylan," Kiri smiles warmly. A cloud of serenity follows her as she enters and you breathe it in. Only when you breathe her in, you still smell Neteyam on your skin.

You muster up a smile, though only half of your mouth lifts. "Hi,"

Kiri isn't stupid. She sees the weight on your shoulders, the tear stains on your face. She settles a warm hand against your cheek and you lean into it. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, Kiri." You tell her. "Thank you for the tea,"

Her eyebrows crinkle, bright orbs taking a fleeting glance at your cup. She takes notice of the orange petals floating around and the herbal smell wafting up with steam, and the corners of her mouth twitch upward. "It's Neteyam's recipe. He says it helps him calm down,"

And maybe you're oblivious, or just too stubborn to catch on to what she's implying, but you nod. "It's nice."

"I brought you some things," Kiri says.

You watch her as she settles herself on the floor, knees pressed against yours. Her hands dig around in her satchel and things clunk around noisily, which almost makes you grin. You're thankful for her. Kiri's energy is pure and sweet. Her eyes welcome you every time she looks your way, and she practically oozes acceptance. Maybe that's why you're so drawn to her.

"This is a salve to get rid of bruising. Works quick, too," She mutters, head still tucked toward her bag as she pulls out a jar.

Your face must fall, because she looks up at you with sympathy.

The skin of your neck adorns the marks of him. You smell like him. You share a home with him. But he doesn't love you.

"Will you help me?" You ask.

Her expression is so gentle. "Of course, I will."

Careful fingers spread the salve over your skin. She pays extra attention to a spot below your ear, all while you fight the memories of the night before.

It should have been special, but you cried after, and he looked at you with pity.

Kiri says your name softly and waits until you meet her eyes. "You will grow to love him."

You let out a quiet exhale, and Kiri can see your gentle nature right on your face. "I know I will. That's the problem."

"He will grow to love you, too."

The smile that appears on your face is devastating. You could explain to Kiri what you felt from her brother last night. You could explain to her the hollowness he held toward you, but you don't.

"He won't. He will protect me, he will give me children, and he will treat me well because he's kind. I will fall for him hopelessly and he won't know. I won't tell him. You won't tell him. I will cook for him, and raise his babies, and I will support him in everything that he does. But he won't love me. And that's okay." You say.

Kiri squeezing your hand is all she can offer.

Sure, you told Kiri not to say anything, but she never agreed to it. So when the tea you drank makes your eyes feel heavy all over again, she leaves you to rest.

Her feet are swift as she rushes through the village, jaw set in determination. Neteyam sees her before she sees him. The look on her face scares him, so he politely excuses himself from the conversation he's having and makes his way toward her.

"Tsmuke," He calls out. Kiri's head whips around in search of him, but it doesn't take long. Neteyam sticks out in a crowd. He's taller than most and he just has a regal air about him.

Kiri's gripping his arm before he can speak and then she's tugging him, and he's trying to ask her what's wrong but she won't listen.

"Kiri!" His voice is barely lower than a yell.

Still, she tugs, until they're in a private spot. "Eywa, I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Why? What's wrong?" Neteyam begs.

"This is all a fucking mess, Neteyam, that's what's wrong." She groans. It doesn't take a genius to know what she's talking about.

It's the only thing anyone is talking about lately.

"You went to check on her like I asked?" Neteyam questions. Kiri rolls her eyes, and in return, he does too. "Well, is she alright?"

"Was she alright last night?"

"She said she was, but no."

"She said she was today, too, but no."

Neteyam rubs at his eyes in frustration. He's supposed to be calm, and well put together, but the man is coming apart at the seams.

All of his efforts seem futile. He only said yes to taking you as a wife because his father suggested it. It will strengthen the relationship between our clans, Jake told him. And all Neteyam ever wanted was to make his father proud, so he found himself agreeing, and before he knew it, you were in front of him.

You were there with your big, pretty eyes, and those eyelashes that grazed your cheeks when you stared at your feet (which was always), and your stupid hair flowed down your slender back, and long fingers fidgeted at your sides, and the soft swell of your breasts would rise and fall anytime you took in a large breath. When you spoke, you were so gentle that he worried he'd break you. He felt too rough around the edges, and you too soft.

Fuck, he was losing it.

"I think I hurt her last night," Neteyam admits. He feels like he should be embarrassed, but it's Kiri he's talking to, and she's his best friend.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, she started crying after we..." He doesn't want to see his sister grimace, so he edits his words. "She says I didn't, but you should have seen her, Kiri. She went to sleep as soon as we got home and we didn't talk any more about it."

"Oh, Neteyam," Kiri sighs like she always does when she knows something he doesn't. "You didn't hurt her."

"How do you know?" He pleads softly.

"She cried because she's scared." She tells him.

"Of what? Of me?" He's nearly whispering.

Kiri places a loving hand over his arm. "Scared that she'll go her whole life loving you and you won't feel the same."

He's too rough around the edges, and you're too soft.

Neteyam is supposed to be composed. Calculated. Three steps ahead at all times. But you have him so unfocused these days.

He spends a few weeks after his talk with Kiri trying to break the ice with you. Little things, like lingering at the door to say goodbye to you in the morning, or thanking you for the meals he comes home to. It's not much, but he's trying.

He thinks he could grow to love you.

He's positive, actually, because he feels this odd stirring in his chest when you speak to him.

There were women before you. They were usually just clandestine meetings in dark caves, rushed touches just to feel relief from all of the weight Neteyam held on his shoulders. There were women before you, but Neteyam didn't see them the way he sees you.

He wasn't afraid to break them.

He didn't pay attention to the small mannerisms they had. Not like he does with you.

He's supposed to be composed, but he isn't when he's next to you. Music is loud in his ears, he has a cup in his hand that he hasn't even sipped from, and there are too many people around. Neteyam usually enjoys feasts. He enjoys talking to his people, enjoys dancing, but he's so unfocused.

The skin of your arm is hot where it's pressed into his own. You're so soft, and you smell nice, but you aren't happy. He can tell by the way your mouth is pressed into a flat line, only breaking when you take another sip of the drink in your cup.

The people have come to love you. They smile at you now, eyes glowing with warmth. They embrace your gentleness and the way you treat the village children. They love you, so why doesn't Neteyam?

You don't want to linger on the thought too long, but you're past the point of being drunk, and your brain isn't cooperating.

When you stand, the loss of your warmth makes Neteyam flinch. He watches you sway lightly on your feet, watches as your fingers tuck a loose hair behind your ear. Your cheeks are darkened, eyelids slightly lowered, lips pursed. He wishes you were happy.

"Where are you going?" He asks you.

You're drunk, but you still find it hard to look him in his eyes. "I just need air. I'll be back,"

You need air away from him and he knows this, yet he still springs to his feet. He follows your retreating figure, flashes a glare to one of his hunting friends that whistles at the sight of you two disappearing into the dense trees.

You would be hard to find if he hadn't studied you so much since you came into his life. Your steps are silent and soft against the forest floor, his are rough.

When you finally come to a stop, he isn't sure what to say to you. He isn't even sure why he followed you, but he did. And now he's staring at your back and the luminescent freckles on your skin, and he's wishing he knew what you were thinking.

"What am I doing wrong?" Your voice startles him. It's the loudest he's ever heard you speak, the volume drawing him forward. He's emboldened by it, but the second you turn and face him, he stops. "Why won't you touch me? Why do you stop smiling every time you see my face? Am I that bad?"

A fleeting memory crosses his mind of the night you two mated. He was too drunk and you too sober, but now things have flipped.

You'd never speak to him this way if you weren't intoxicated.

He rasps out your name. He wants to explain to you what he's thinking but he doesn't know how. He doesn't know how to touch you without hurting you. He doesn't know how to throw himself into loving you because he's scared to disappoint you. He's too rough, you're too soft.

It's you who takes a step toward him now. "I promised to be a good wife and I'm failing."

You're so close. He breathes in your scent until he's dizzy, and his voice comes out in a mutter. "You are a good wife."

"Then why do you hate me?" Your breath fans over his chest. Your nose brushes against the dip between his neck and collarbone, and you feel his throat bob as he swallows.

"I don't hate you." His hands ball into fists at his sides, itching to reach out and touch you and all of your soft curves. But you're drunk and he knows better.

"But you won't touch me,"

He doesn't want to break you.

"It's not that I don't want to," He whispers helplessly.

Your head tilts up because, for the first time, you're brave enough to crave his eye contact. Your eyes trace over every freckle on his face, every scar, every crease. You may be drunk, but his beauty is sobering.

"Neteyam," Your voice is so gentle as you call out to him. He finally looks down at you, and his eyes aren't so harsh. "Touch me, please,"

You ask him to touch you, but you mean more. You want him to see you, to feel his heart warm when he walks into your home at the end of the day. You want him to want you.

He inhales sharply when your lips brush the corner of his. His fingernails are digging into his palm as your hands fall to his hips, your mouth grazing the length of his jaw. He wonders what you taste like, wonders what kind of noises you would make if he got to sink his teeth into the plump of your bottom lip.

But you're drunk, and he knows better.

When his hand clasps around your wrists, you think you may finally get what you want, but he tugs your touch away.

Rejection burns in your chest and your eyes sting with tears as he tilts his head down, trying to catch your evasive gaze. His large hand scorches where it holds you captive.

"I will not touch you. Not here, not like this. Not when you're drunk." He says. You feel like he's upset, but his voice is the softest you've ever heard. "Ask me tomorrow, okay?"

You want to be mad at him. You want to shove at his chest and yell at him that it isn't fair, but you can't. It's not his fault that you love him.

"Can you take me home, please?" You croak out.

The hold on your wrists drops. "Yeah, I'll take you home."

It's like the first night that you two ever spent together. You amble through the village, eyes on your feet, tears threatening to spill down your face. When you reach your hut, you climb into your hammock and Neteyam lingers by the fire.

Humiliated is an understatement. You just want to disappear, and that would have been so easy back home, but it's impossible here.

You hear your husband's feet pad across the floor, growing softer and softer until they stop just outside your hut. You should call after him and see if he's okay, but you can't bring yourself to speak. Instead, you shut your eyes and pray for sleep to come.

Neteyam has always loved the moon. As he sits outside of your shared hut, he lets himself admire the glow of it. It's his favorite thing in the whole universe because it's always there, always shining, always taking different shapes. Most people go to sleep as soon as the moon shows its face, but not Neteyam. He likes to bask in it, almost as if he has it all to himself.

He pictures you under the glow of moonlight. Soft, gentle. Beautiful.

He's growing to love you.

In the morning when you wake, Neteyam isn't home. You get out of bed and there's a cup of tea waiting for you by the fire. While you drink it, you try to fight your feelings of embarrassment and guilt. It wasn't fair for you to ambush your husband like that. You've said it for all this time—he doesn't have to love you, and yet you asked him to.

Maybe you aren't in your right mind as you leave your hut, an empty basket clutched in your hand. No, you definitely aren't in your right mind as you gather fruits and pretty flowers, and even a brightly colored feather to pile into the wicker.

You have certainly lost it when you set off through the village, searching for your husband's tall frame. And when you spot his broad back as he speaks to a group of hunters, you almost turn around. Only you don't get the chance, because it's like he senses that you're there. He turns, brows lowered, intense eyes searching the bustling crowd.

Part of you wants to look away from him but he's mesmerizing. He carries golden light. He was meant to lead the people, meant to be admired.

He's the sun.

"Are you alright?" His voice is husky and breaks you out of your daze.

Heat spreads across your cheeks. "I'm fine,"

Where did all of your words go? The apology you practiced in your head?

Suddenly your feet are interesting to look at.

"Did you drink the tea I left? It's good for a hangover." He says.

Why does he have to be so kind and make you love him?

"I did. Thank you," You say, and you mean it. His eyes burn on your face as you try to muster up the courage to speak again. He's incredibly patient as he stands there, never once looking away from you. "I brought you some things. I wasn't sure if you had breakfast, and I know you must get hungry training all day."

"That's kind of you." He says.

It's now or never. You look up at him before you can talk yourself out of it. "I also wanted to apologize. The way I acted last night was unacceptable. I'm truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Neteyam."

The crease between his brows softens. "It's alright. I'm alright,"

Silence blankets the two of you for a moment. He's staring at you, eyes like melted honey and you tell yourself that you shouldn't love him.

But you do.

"I'll see you later?" You offer quietly. The corner of his mouth lifts as he reaches out, his hand brushes yours when he takes the basket from you.

"I'll see you later."

He watches you walk away with a dumb smile, because, fuck, he's starting to love you.

"I know that this isn't ideal," Neteyam begins.

You're still embarrassed about the night before, especially now that it’s just the two of you in the confines of your hut. You still remember the feeling of his skin against your lips, and you're craving more.

Shy eyes lift from your hands, falling on his face for the first time since you apologized to him earlier. You're used to his hard stare. You're used to his mouth falling into a flat line, but that's not what he looks like now.

He's watching you like you've never been invisible in your entire life.

His shoulders are tense where he stands, hands clasped together. "I know we were both pushed into this marriage for the sake of our clans,"

You think he might tell you that he doesn't love you and he never will. You're just collateral. But he shakes his head, and that's when you see it.

The bright hues of the feather you gifted him, tucked neatly into a braid behind his ear.

"You're wearing it," You gasp.

The way your eyes sparkle catches him off guard. He's dazed by your beauty, and it takes him a moment to understand what you're saying.

"Oh," He mutters. His cheeks burn. "Yes, I hope that's okay,"

You're smiling, and he feels like he's under the glow of the moon. You're gentle and you shine, and you take on so many pretty shapes.

"I wasn't sure you'd like it."

Of course, he likes it. You picked it for him.

"I do."

He can't remember the speech he was about to give about growing to love you, because he likes the way you tuck a piece of your hair behind your big ear. He likes the way you look down, suddenly shy. He likes the way that you're soft and smoothing out his rough edges.

"Would you like me to ask you now?" You're nearly whispering, and it's a shame that you're looking at your feet, because the smile that splits his face glows like the sun.

He steps toward you. "Yes, please."

Your chest would brush against him if you took a deep inhale, but he makes you breathless. "Touch me, please?"

Neteyam is supposed to be composed, but he isn't when he's this close to you.

His palms are rough and warm when they pull you in by the hips. They mold around your curves like Eywa carved them just for you.

He's the sun.

You're the moon.

Time just wouldn't exist without the two of you.

His lips are soft against the spot below your ear. It's his favorite place because you feel like silk there. He leaves a trail of kisses across your cheekbone, on the button of your nose, before he hovers over your lips.

"Would you like me to touch you here?" He murmurs.

You want him everywhere, but you're breathless. All you can do is nod.

He delves forward. You're so warm, and your lips are even softer than the skin below your ear, and now he knows what you taste like.

You're the sweetest fruit he's ever bitten. He'll go his whole life craving you.

It takes a while before you both pull away for air. Your hands fall against his chest, feeling the rumble of his light laughter.

When you look up at him, you can't believe you ever found him so intimidating. You can't believe that you ever thought he hated you, because he's looking at you like you're the best thing he's ever had.

And you are.

"I know that this was chosen for us. I know that I said this was for the clan," He says.

It was for the clan, but now he loves you.

"But?" You urge him gently.

"But I want to do this for us. I want all of you. I want all of your secrets, the good and the bad. I want to come home to you every night, and I want to take care of the people with you. I want to tell everyone what you mean to me." He proclaims.

You smile, eyes glimmering with happiness. "You have me."

He's yours.

You're his.

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sk1bidi-n1k0-e4ts-people · 8 months ago

Text

golden locks // Neteyam x twin sister reader

Summery: born blonde in a dark haired world

Warnings: bullying, insecurities,

Age: 15

Place/area: pandora, metkeyina clan

Pairings: Slight jake sully x daughter reader // neteyam x twin reader // loak x older sister reader

A/N: idk just thought this would be cool. And this is probably so crap I'm literally writing this half asleep

💀˚~˖𓍢ִ໋ ♡*°◇🎧✧˚.⋆◇🦢+*°♡+

You emit a sigh as you sat on a dock with your legs dangling off the edge. Your ears perking up as they heard footsteps approaching you.

Jake sat down beside you, dipping his feet into the water as well.

You flashed him a smile and spoke "hi dad"

"Hey babygirl" he replied with a slight chuckle "how are you sweetheart?"

"Fine" you replied sweetly. He patted your back and rose to his feet. He walked you to your marui so you and your family could sleep.

----------------------

You awoke to your younger brother loak roughly shaking you awake

"Y/n! Y/n! Come on!" He groaned while smaking you with a pillow. You whined and put the pillow over your head, and loak just tore it off.

"Bro what?!" You shouted at him sleepily while he dragged you up by your hand

"Nothing i just wanted to annoy you" loak replied, running off so you wouldn't murder him

"brat!" You yelled in the direction he ran in. You started your morning after sulking for a moment

--------------------

As you finally finished your chores, duties, ect, you plopped down on the sand to allow your body to rest

But this moment of peace didn't last long. You began to hear snickering behind you. You turned toward the sound to find aonung and a few other boys standing there

Aonung still had a bruise from the fight with your brothers last week

"Guess you do fit in here" aonung spoke with a chuckle "with the sand"

you sighed and stood. Spinning on your heel to walk away from these bullys.

Though, they kept teasing you.

Usually you didn't let it get to you. But this time felt...off

You felt tears sting your eyes when one of them pulled your hair. They let go soon after

You spun around and hissed at the boy. "Ooh im so scared" said the boy

You looked around to see if anyone you knew was around, which there was not.

One of the boys mothers called out for him and they all snarled. You let out a sigh of relief when they sprinted away from you

You walked toward a tree, your back pressing up against the rough bark. You slid down to sit on your knees.

You lightly played with the sand beneath you. You heard more footsteps behind you the moment your soft hands cluched a fistfull of sand. Instead of a bully, it was only your twin.

"Hey teyam..." you spoke to him in a dull tone

"What is it, sister?" He sat beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Nothing."

"Dont give me that. I wont hesitate to get dad into this." He hissed. "Jeez i sound like loak..."

You chuckled sadly at his amusing realization. You looked back down at your knees, the Bioluminescent freckles dotted carefully along your legs in a wavy path from your hips, all the way to your ankles.

Neteyam placed two fingers under your chin, his thumb in a light grip just above. He lifted your head and gently turned you to him

"Aonung?"

"Aonung..." you whisper while nodding your head in small movements. Your twin pulled you to his chest in a tight embrace.

"Dont worry, its ok. Loak will handle them" you giggled at the image of your baby bro beating another guy to a pulp for you. Again.

Neteyam brushed some of your hair behind your ear. Running his delicate fingers through it gently.

He pulled you back toward him, with your eyes closed you felt the soft skin of his forehead meet yours.

You let out a small sigh before completely melting in your best friends arms. Your own arms wrapping around his waist and your head resting against his chest.

With every beat of his heart, with every breath he took, every stroke of his fingers running through your beautiful hair, you felt loved. Special. And that your bullys didn't matter.

💀˚~˖𓍢ִ໋ ♡*°◇🎧✧˚.⋆◇🦢+*°♡+

A/N: guys please read this I spent so long on it 😭

🤍tags🦢

(I dont have anyone on my avatar taglist yet)

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strongheartneteyam · 2 years ago

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Jealous Girl

♡ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!omatikaya!reader

CW: lots of fluff <3, angst (if you squint), funny and crazy vibes???! lol, reader is betrothed to Neteyam, madly-in-love-with-reader Neteyam, comfort, praising kink, tsaheylu is mentioned, a bit childish but adorable reader, young love, mentions of sex, dirty talk, mentions of sexual fluids, a couple so in love it's gross <33, mentions of getting someone pregnant, breeding kink

Na'vi words:

Yawntutsyìp: little loved one

Yawnetu: loved one

Hì'i syulang: small flower (not sure if it's correct but I put hì'i - small in size - and syulang - flower - together so... sorry if it's incorrect but I tried lol)

Not proofread.

♡ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

"I'm jealous of your Ikran, Teyam" you said while you watched Neteyam patting on his Ikran's back with affection, pouty lips making you look adorable, just like a small child who's a bit spoiled but still lovely towards everyone.

"What?!" He chuckled violently "Why, yawntutsyìp?" Neteyam asked you, not believing the words he had just heard "What the hell are you saying?!" He started to laugh hard

You frowned, still making him think you're the cutest thing to have ever walked on Pandora, since The First Songs. You were his betrothed, his future mate, only waiting for him to become the clan leader, so both your families would throw a big wedding party that would happen right after the Olo'eyktan ceremony, and you could finally make tsaheylu with Neteyam

"You're always bonding with your Ikran, Teyam. But you still haven't made tsaheylu with me." You protested, sounding a bit crazy.

Neteyam knew you were being unreasonable but still you looked so damn adorable in his eyes. He was head over heels for you.

"C'mon, hì’i syulang!" Neteyam exclaimed, laughing at your silliness "It's a totally different kind of tsaheylu!"'

"Even so... I feel jealous. He is... too lucky!" You frowned again, making Neteyam laugh, having so much fun with the situation.

He walked to you, held you close and tight by your waist, his grip on you so strong, it felt like there was glue bringing the both of you together.

"You're unbelievable." Neteyam had a big, cute smile adorning his plump, ocean colored lips. He stroked your hair delicately "My sweet, sweet jealous girl. My yawnetu." He kept chuckling

You looked deep into his wide yellow eyes "Promise me you wanna make tsaheylu with me as much as I want to make it with you?" You had the expression of a needy kitten who's asking to be pet

"You have no reason at all to doubt it. I'm as eager to make tsaheylu with you as you are. I can't wait until I can touch, kiss and feel all the parts of your perfect body, my princess." You started to feel your pussy getting wet, just by hearing him talk about it

Neteyam rubbed his big thumb on your cheek and you smiled, gazing at him with eyes so filled with joy it was almost too much to bear in your sensitive, anxious heart

"I'm going crazy too, you know?" His lips got close to your ear and whispered "When we finally make the bond and I finally make love to you... Eywa... you're gonna want me inside of you all day, all night, yawntutsyìp. 'Cause I'll fuck you so good. And I won't let you leave my hammock for days, my darling. You'll be there to satisfy all my needs and lemme pleasure you until I know for sure you're carrying my baby inside your womb. Only then I'll give you a break. A very short one."

Neteyam's lips slowly touched yours. It was a calm but incredibly passionate kind of kiss. He rubbed his tongue on yours over and over and, after some time spent like that, he used his soft lips to suck on your tongue. Neteyam gave you multiple wet, delicate pecks too. All of that made lewd sounds echoe through the fresh forest air surrounding your filled with heat bodies.

#neteyam x you #neteyam fluff #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x female reader #neteyam comfort #neteyam x reader #neteyam sully #neteyam x omatikaya!reader #neteyam x na'vi!reader #atwow neteyam #avatar neteyam #neteyam suli #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam sully smut #neteyam smut #kxamtxomaw writes

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maverickbabes · 2 years ago

Text

One Kiss

Aged!up!Neteyam Sully x female!navi!Omatikaya!reader!

Both Neteyam and Reader are 17

Warnings: mentions of jerking off, use of nickname 'ma pretty girl', 'ma y/n' and 'ma pretty mate/ma mate', innocent!reader, teases of wet dreams, kissing, cussing, Neteyam is in denial with his feelings cause he's a good boy, Neteyam's naughty thoughts of his best friend, hints of spice

FLUFFY FLUFF JUST A BUNCH OF CUTENESS FOR THIS ONE WITH A HINT OF SPICE. this is a tad bit long but it's worth it hehe

Summary: Neteyam's been having vivid wet dreams of his best friend y/n and feels guilty about it especially when they go stargazing one night. He avoids her for days as he went through this internal battle of his feelings that he had of y/n and about what he wanted to do. Finally he finds y/n by the lake and takes what he wants.

"Oo ouch ouch!" Neteyam grumbles as y/n gently wipes the damp cloth over the wound on his shoulder. Y/n chuckles as she puts the the cloth back into the bowl full a water before wringing it out.

"Stop moving and it wouldn't hurt as much teyam" Y/n says as she gently wipes the rest of the blood off his shoulder. Neteyam holds his breath as he feels her soft and small hands run along his back and shoulder blades.

She grabs one of the gauze wraps and some herb ointment to help with the healing and began wrapping up the wound. "There all patched up" Y/n whispers as she places her hand on his good shoulder.

Neteyam grabs her hand before turning around to face his best friend. They were sitting so close to each other, just inches away from each other which made his heart race. "Thank you for patching me up as always" He tells her with a chuckle.

Goosebumps cover y/n's body as she feels his breath against her neck. Neteyam notices the goosebumps that were littering all over her soft blue skin so he tilts his head to where he can see her face.

"What is it ma pretty girl?" Neteyam asks, some of his braids falling over his face and y/n instinctively squeeze her thighs together just from hearing him call her his pretty girl. "Nothing ma teyam" She says as she stood up and starts to put the supplies away.

"Let me take you somewhere" Neteyam says as he walks up to her, already knowing where to take her. Y/n turns around and looks at him to see a huge smile on his lips. "It's so late teyam I don't think it's a good idea" Y/n tells him with a worried look on her gentle face.

"Do you trust me?" He asks her grabbing her hands and she looks up at him with such adoration in her eyes. "Of course I trust you" She assures with no hesitation and he gives her hands a squeeze of reassurance before he leads her out the hut and towards his banshee.

Neteyam hops onto his ikran before reaching his hand out or y/n to take. Y/n hesitates before grabbing his hand and hoisting herself up behind him. "Ready?" He asks as she nods her head and mumbles out a soft 'yes' as she scoots up and puts her arms hesitantly around him. Neteyam blushes as he feels her arms wrap around him.

The ikran unfurls its wings and takes flight into the night sky. Y/n lets out a scream as she squeezes her arms around him, feeling Neteyam chuckle while he straightens them out. She lets out a carefree giggle as she closes her eyes enjoying the night air. "Woo-hoo!" Y/n cheers loudly as she feels the breeze gently blows through her braids.

"You smell so good teyam" She compliments without thinking of it or second thoughts. Neteyam's eyes widen from the compliment as he blushes, placing his free hand on hers against his chest. They fly through the air, enjoying the view and each other's company. Soon y/n feels her eyes get heavy so she leans her head on his good shoulder and closes her eyes.

He turns slowly to find the spot where his parents go to escape for their little dates and once he spots it he guides his ikran in that direction. "Ma pretty girl we're here" Neteyam whispers as he lands the banshee while y/n lifts her head and looks at where they were. "Where are we?" She asks as he helps her off and she looks around in amazement then gasping at how they have a perfect view of the stars.

"A secret spot" He says smiling as he pets his banshee as a way of thanks before giving him a little snack. "This is beautiful" She whispers breathlessly and he takes the moment to admire her. Her eyes sparkle from the stars and her smile made his heart jump. "Yea so beautiful" Neteyam said, his eyes drinking in how she looks before clearing his throat.

He lays on his back and opens his arm for her to lay on his chest and she giggles before resting her head on his chest while his hand rested against her hip. A comfortable silence fills the air as they murmur and point at the stars, giggling as they connect the stars in weird ways.

Y/n closes her eyes and falls asleep while listening to his heartbeat. He turns his head and notices that she's asleep so he watches her sleep, admiring how peaceful she looks. Neteyam notices that her top is rolled up and he glances to see her bare breast and nipple.

Suddenly he begins to feel hot and bothered as his head reels while he tries to look away. He takes a deep breath then reaches over to fix her top, touching her nipple in the process. Y/n lets out a moan as she shifts in her sleep, tucking her head into his neck. His mouth suddenly goes dry as he swallows before moving his eyes from her breast to her hips.

"The things you do to me without even trying ma pretty girl" He whispers to himself as he gently squeezes her hip before looking back up to the stars, trying to control himself. He takes this time to get lost in his thoughts which were about the girl sleeping in his arms.

Time seems to fly because soon the stars start to fade as the sun begins to rise slowly. Y/n opens her eyes and looks up at Neteyam to see him sleeping. She looks at him but it wasn't just a simple look, she takes this time to look at his features and admire them.

The way his chest rises and falls slowly with each breath

The way his lips are parted just a little

Some of his braids covering his face

Neteyam's eyes open and his amber eyes flash to her as she gives a shy smile. "Morning ma pretty girl" He mumbles in a sleepy tone, causing her to bite her lip and blush as she starts to get up with him following right behind. She smiles as she sees the sun just peaking through the horizon, turning the sky a mix of different shades of blue.

"Come, let's get us back home" Neteyam says as he places his hands on her hips to lift her up onto the ikran but she stops him. He looks at her with confusion written all over his face and she takes a deep breath. "I want to tell you something" She starts and he nods his head as to tell her to continue and she closes her eyes for a split second before looking back at him.

"I-I want you to uh um kiss me" She stutters out as Neteyam just stands there, not knowing what to say while his heart skipped a beat from that sentence. Silence fell between the two and y/n says the first thing that came to her mind. "For p-practice you know since I haven't had my first kiss" Y/n adds rambling on as she shifts on her heels awkwardly.

Neteyam opens his mouth like he was about to say something but closes it and let's out a sigh. He wants to kiss her so bad but he wants it to be with someone special. "No I think it should be with someone you deeply care about" He explains, feeling terrible as he watched her frown.

"Oh okay" Was all y/n said as she clears her throat before putting on a fake smile. "We should get back home" She tells him before grabbing onto the saddle and lifting herself up. Once she is situated, he climbs up with ease and y/n wraps her arms around him. The ride back was filled with so much tension that it could be cut with a knife.

He guides his banshee in the direction of where the healer hut was and it lands with grace as it shakes his head before letting out a playful noise. Neteyam helps her down and once she steadies her footing she gives him a fake smile and looks down at the ground trying to hide her tears.

"Get some sleep teyam, I'll see you later on today" She says as she gives him a final way before making her way to her hut. He watches her leave to make sure that she makes it safe but to also watch her. He stays there for a few seconds, feeling awful for rejecting her. Once she disappears into her hut, he makes a gesture to his ikran and heads back to his own hut.

Once Neteyam walks into his hut, he closes the front flap and goes towards his hammock, flopping onto it but quickly winces as he is reminded of his hurt shoulder. Too exhausted to do anything, he blows out the candle that gave the main light source for the hut and lets out a sigh as he quickly falls asleep.

**Dream**

"Ma teyam please" Y/n whimpers as she juts her hips up towards him, earning a soft moan. "I know ma pretty mate I know. Can you be patient for me?" Neteyam asks as he gently kisses her neck before making his way to her breast, taking her nipple into his mouth. Y/n moans as she arches her back, practically shoving her breast into his mouth. His fangs graze against her nip-

Neteyam wakes up with a start and sits up in his hammock, letting out a breath. He looks down and sees his erected cock peaking through his loincloth, leaking with precum. He lets out a frustrated noise, for now he was hot and bothered all because of yet another wet dream of y/n.

He lays back down double checking to make sure no one was around and slowly unties his loincloth. Even though he had his own hut he still likes to make sure no one was around before he pleased himself. Thoughts of the first night when y/n and him went stargazing flooded his mind.

Her intoxicating laugh

The way her braids framed her face and covered her eyes

The way her feather top hugged her breast and the way her hips swayed with the way she moved.

Don't even get him started on the way she let out a moan when he accidentally touched her nipple.

Closing his eyes, He begins to pump his cock into his hand as he uses the images that were engraved into his mind of that night. "Fuck y/n" He moans softly as he runs his thumb over his tip, taking some precum and lathering his cock more. Neteyam thinks of how her hips felt when he grabbed her while chasing her.

"Y/n oh fuck" He groans as he starts to jerk off faster, feeling his climax tightening in his abdomen as he moved his other hand towards his balls and began to play with them. Soon Neteyam cums on his abs/chest and lets out a sigh of relief. Once he was able to calm down, he reluctantly gets out of his hammock to go clean himself up.

He grabs a cloth and begins to clean off his chest, getting lost in his thoughts. Neteyam and Y/n have been best friends since childhood. They did everything together and they even had their own cute little tradition where they tell each other their wildest dreams during breakfast.

**memory 1**

"Oh come on teyam tell me" Y/n begs as she playfully shoves him by the shoulder. "Okay Okay but no laughing" Neteyam says, giving in to his best friend as he watches her do a little victory dance. He begins to tell her how he wants to follow his father's footsteps and become the Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya tribe. "Now you tell me yours pretty girl" Neteyam says as he takes a sip of his sweet and refreshing drink.

She giggles as she takes a bite of her breakfast, chewing it quickly so she could tell her best friend her dream. "I want to become tsahik and help heal the people" She explains and he nods his head in agreement. "You will be an amazing tsahik, Mo'at would be a wonderful mentor" He says smiling as they continue to eat their breakfast.

That all stopped once He turned 15. He started to have wet dreams of y/n and that absolutely terrified him. He felt it was wrong to have those kinds of dreams of her but every other night, he would have a wet dream of her. He felt terrible for stopping their little ritual so abruptly but he felt embarrassed and didn't know how to tell her that he dreams of her in a way friends shouldn't.

**memory 2**

Silence fell between the two friends as Y/n stares at Neteyam in disbelief. "You don't wanna tell me your dream? But why we always tell each other our dreams and it's our own ritual" She questions as she feels tears prick at her eyes. Neteyam's heart ached from seeing her sad but he couldn't tell her. "I think that we've grown out of it" He says nonchalantly as he continues to eat his food, avoiding eye contact. Y/n grabs her breakfast and gets up, leaving the hut and Neteyam all alone.

For the next few days, Neteyam avoids y/n because of the guilt he feels with what he did and the dreams he has of her. He felt like a perv for touching her nipple while adjusting her top. Every time she tried to reach for him he would just avoid her. It killed him to avoid her but he didn't know what else to do because he didn't want his feelings control him and it didn't help that he felt like they weren't valid, it was like an internal battle with himself.

Y/n noticed how he avoided her. It broke her heart with how distant he was and whenever she tried to reach him he would just avoid her. She wiped her eyes as tears streamed down her face while her thoughts ran wild. "Why did I ask him to kiss me? That was so fucking dumb, so dumb" Y/n criticizes herself as she sits up in her mat and attempt to wipe the tears.

Once she felt like she was calm, she took a deep breath and stood up while running her hands through her braids, smiling at how she felt the hidden beads within her braids. She opens the front flap of her hut and sees Neteyam with his siblings. Taking a deep breath, she makes her way towards them and greets all of them before looking at Neteyam.

"Hey teyam" She says as she reaches out to give him a hug like they do every time they meet but this time is different. He just pats her on the shoulder before walking away with Lo'ak and that crushed her. Kiri notices the change in y/n's face so she reaches out to grab her shoulder before giving her a warm smile.

"You okay?" Kiri asks as y/n looks up and gives her a fake smile. "Yea I'm fine just a little tired is all" She reassures Kiri before looking down in an attempt to hide her tears. "Okay I'm going to go with the boys make sure they don't do something dumb" Kiri says as she gives y/n a quick hug before walking towards her brothers.

"Did I really fuck everything up?" Y/n mumbles to herself as she looks up at the sky, trying to get rid of her tears. "Y/n!" Tuk yells as she runs towards y/n while opening her arms. "Hi Tuk" Y/n says giggling as she lifts her up and squeezes her. Neteyam watches this and it hurts him to see her reactions every time she tries to give him a hug he'd just give her a pat on the shoulder before walking away.

"Bro are you even listening?" Lo'ak asks as he punches his older brother on the arm, snapping Neteyam out of his thoughts. "Yea yea I'm listening" Neteyam mumbles as he glances at Lo'ak before looking back at y/n. She lifts up Tuk and spins her around in the air, earning a happy giggle from the younger na'vi.

Lo'ak shakes his head before grabbing his brother by the shoulder and dragging him into the hut where their parents lived. "Alright everyone here" Jake says as he looks around to make sure is accounted for. "Tuk is with y/n" Neytiri says as she sits down next to her husband. Neteyam doesn't even listen to the conversation, all he could think about was y/n.

Neteyam runs his finger over her folds which earns him a gasp from y/n as it was a whole new sensation to her. "You're so wet for me ma pretty girl. All just from my touch" He hums as he slowly inserts a finger inside her soaking core. He slides his fingers out and tweaks her sensitive bud in between his index finger and thumb. "Mm only you ma teyam" She mewls as she feels him insert another finger in her.

Mo'at walks into the hut and immediately notices how Neteyam is detached from reality and in his own world. "Okay I think that's all" Jake concludes as he gets up and walks over to where the table was and gathered his bow and arrows. Everyone kind of went their own ways except for Mo'at, Kiri and Neteyam who were still in the Sully hut.

Mo'at places her hand onto Neteyam's shoulder which brings him back to reality and he looks up to see his grandmother smirking at him. "I hear Eywa saying that it's hard for you to embrace the dreams she is giving you Neteyam" Mo'at hints at him giving his shoulder a squeeze before sitting down at one of the mats.

Fear ran through his body as he looked up at his grandmother, a terrified look in his eyes. "Oh great mother!" Was all he said as he saw Mo'at laughs while Kiri giggled next to him. "No shame in it Neteyam, but I think you should listen to Eywa" Mo'at tells him as she gives him a wink before looking at Kiri with a knowing look.

"Neteyam get your bow and arrows, we're going hunting with dad" Lo'ak says peaking his head through the entrance for a split second then disappearing. Neteyam stands up and grabs his bow then makes his way out of the hut to follow his dad and younger brother.

Jake puts a finger to his lips as a way to say 'be quiet' and points to the creature that they were going to hunt. Lo'ak nods and gets into his position while Neteyam does the same. Thoughts filled Neteyam's head and he starts to think about his feelings for y/n, distracting him from the task at hand.

Y/n bewitched him since day one. From the way she talks to the way her innocence and sweetness radiates off of her. He doesn't just love her, He wants to consume her. He wants to consume her body and her soul along with just ruining her. "Neteyam" Jake says as his older son looks at him with a daze look. "You're not focused son, go clear your head" Jake tells him in which Neteyam shakes his head.

"Sorry sir I-" He begins to say but Jake raises his hand before looking at his son. "Go get some rest" Jake dismisses and Neteyam nods his head before getting up from his spot. "Hey that's not fair what about me dad" Lo'ak complains and Jake rolled his eyes. "Shut it son, you still need to help me hunt" Jake says and it was Lo'ak's turn to roll his eyes as they both began walking deeper in the forest.

Instead of going back to his hut and getting some rest, He decides he's going to walk around the forest to collect his thoughts. He makes the decision that he wants to kiss y/n even if it's only one time, He needs to feel her lips against his. "Fuck it" He mumbles as he starts walking towards the direction of Mo'at's hut, determined to find y/n.

"Y/n?" He calls out as he opens the front flap to be greeted with his grandma already looking at him. "Y/n went to the lake to collect some plants" Mo'at says as she gives him a warm smile. "Thank you grandma" He says as he leaves the hut and towards the lake. As he walks to the lake, he can feel his heart thumping against his chest as he thought of how she would react.

Neteyam finally makes it to the lake and stops in his tracks as he watches y/n gathers some plants by the lake. "Now or Never" He says to himself as he sets his bow down before making his way to y/n. The sound of leaves crushing catches y/n's attention as she turns around to see Neteyam standing there.

He closes the distance between them and grabs her face, crashing his lips against hers. Y/n stands there shocked as she places her hands on his chest pushing him away. "What are you doing teyam?" She asks with a hint of innocence in her voice that drove him wild. "I changed my mind" He says as his hands rest against her waist and she looks at him.

"What are you talking about" She says and he smiles before pulling her closer. "I'll teach you ma y/n. I'll teach you how to kiss" He tells her with full honesty and he leans down to kiss her again but y/n stops him and pushes him away. "Are you sure?" She questions with the look of unsure in her eyes.

"I've never been so sure in my life ma pretty girl. I want this but I need to know if you want it too" He said with no hesitation as he places one of his hands on her cheek. Y/n lets out a sigh as she looks away from him, biting her lip. "Oh teyam, do you do this often?" She asks him and he raises an eyebrow in response.

Y/n rolls her eyes before shaking her head "You know, kissing girls in the forest late at night" She explains and Neteyam shakes his head. "No, you'll be my first" He admits and blushes at his confession in which y/n grabs his face, crashing her lips against his and he immediately kisses her back.

Neteyam pulls her closer to him while she wraps her arms around his neck. He bites her bottom lip causing her to gasp and he takes this as the opportunity to stick his tongue in her mouth and swipes it along hers before removing it. "You want me to teach you something else ma girl?" He asks as he teasingly moves the strap of her top off her shoulder and she rolls her eyes before shoving him in the lake.

Y/n lets out a laugh as she sees him come up to the surface, shaking his head as he looks at her with the look of disbelief. "Really ma y/n" He says raising his arms up causing some splashes and y/n continues to laugh then looses her footing on wet moss, also falling into the water.

Now it was his turn to laugh as she comes up to the surface and starts to laugh with him. He swims over to her and gently grabs her face before leaning down and kissing her passionately. She smiles into the kiss before placing her hands on his hair, playing with his braids. He breaks the kiss then puts his forehead against hers and just held y/n in his arms.

"You're wearing the armband" Y/n says surprise as she runs her hand over the armband she made him. "Of course ma pretty y/n, I wouldn't trade it for the world" He says as he holds her face in his hands, admiring how beautiful and innocent she looked. "I want to be your first in everything ma y/n" He begins while giving her a forehead kiss that makes her blush even more.

"But I also want to be your last" Neteyam finishes leans down to give her a passionate kiss that was a way to seal what he said to her because he meant it with all his heart.

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neteyamslovrr · 2 years ago

Text

HOW CAN I LOSE YOU?

summary: prmoised to a stranger Y/N takes flight and finds herself lost in the pandorian forest, only to be found by a omaticayan boy. who knew that strangers could fall in love so fast?

a/n: 5.7K WORDS bro that's more than my assignments. anyway i am incredibly proud of this fic and i hope you enjoy it as much as i do

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Heat rose through your body, fury filling your insides as the words your mother said repeated in your mind like an intoxicating mantra. You are promised.

Promised? Th only promise is your misery. To think it’s not even someone from your clan. A stranger, an outsider, unknown to you and you were meant to mate. The fury grew even thinking about it.

“Y/N? Respond please.” Your mother held her hands on your shoulder as you refused to look in her direction.

“What? I’m being promised to someone I don’t even know. Am I meant to be excited?” You spat venom at your mother avoiding her eye contact, swatting her hands off of your body.

“Y/N! Do not speak to your mother like that!” Always chiming in when he wasn’t needed, that’s what your father did.

“Don’t treat your daughter like a peace treaty then!” You shouted back, a sharp finger pointed at your father’s chest. You started to walk backwards, hands shaking from the rage racking through your body. “I’m leaving.”

“No Y/N, you can’t leave now, we have things to discuss!” Your mother was desperate walking fast to match the fast pace you had created to reach your ikran.

“You have nothing to say to me.” Harsh words shot at your mother as you hoped onto your ikran. “Go, Lifo!” Shouting out your banshees name you took off, gusts of wind leaving your parents to stare at their fleeing daughter.

You couldn’t remember how long you had been flying, the ongoing replay of the fight with your parents and the doom of your near future plagued your mind. Leaving your ikran to fly into unknown territory, a dense forest filled with a loud glow that encompassed every lifeform.

Landing on a large tree you disconnected from Lifo, the glow was different to your clan, it was much more apparent, the plant life encompassing every step you would take.

Strolling through the forest, you wandered looking for any food or water, as the unexpected trip took a toll on your body, hunger brewing in your stomach creating soft grumbles that harmonized with the sounds of the forest. Inspecting all of the flora around you, you spotted a purple fruit. You only recognized it as the same fruit grew on smaller trees surrounding your village.

Picking the fruit, avoiding the thorns on the fruits skin, you took a bite. The flesh of the fruit spilling into your mouth leaving you with an amazing taste and a wash of nostalgia. It was the exact same as home, bringing you back to times when you knew you could run freely and weren’t subjected to a life of misery, a life of lack of love.

A sudden crunch of leaves instantly got rid of the nostalgic feeling you had and replaced them with fear, subconsciously holding onto the knife in the loop of your loin cloth as your heart started to beat rapidly.

“Who are you?” A loud voice boomed in front of you. A tall man, braids reaching his shoulders and hand who also reached onto his knife stood tall across from you, his figure intimidating as he questioned you.

“I mean no harm! I am just lost!” You retracted your hand off your knife to surrender yourself to the man in front of you. “I am from the eastern seas, my ikran and I flew too far.” Pointing to your sleeping ikran in the treetops above the pair of you. The mans eyes softened immediately, you noticed a=how the bioluminescent glow of the forest made his features stand out like a flower in a desert.

“Are you alright?” The man asked coming closer, his hand now also abandoning his knife, knowing you were no longer a threat.

“Yes, just looking for food.”

“You cannot stay in the forest at night, you’ll die.” Panic rose throughout you as you realised you stood in such hostile foliage. Eyes immediately scanning around where you stood, conscious of the danger surrounding you. “Rest within my clan, you’ll leave in the morning.” He wasn’t asking you, more like a demand.

Nodding hesitantly, you clapped three times to wake Lifo up, watching her wide wings flap down to the ground to let you board her. “Please lead the way.”

He nodded, calling his ikran to fly high into the sky waiting for you to follow suit. “What is your name Ikran girl?” He shouted over the noise of the two of your ikran’s flying.

“It’s Y/N…what is yours forest boy?”

“Neteyam.” That’s a pretty name.

Upon arrival you watched as many people hustled to look at the newcomer. Two women rose to the front, the rest parting to make way for them. Assuming they were important, you greeted them with a bow. “oel ngati kameie”

The two repeated it before turning aggressively to the boy you knew as Neteyam.

“Who do you bring here?” An older woman asked, she looked wise. Maybe she was Tsa’hik?

“Her name is Y/N, flew over from the eastern seas and got lost in the forest, she is here to rest.” Neteyam’s voice was serious, his face stern, like a man of leadership. Who exactly had you run into in the middle of this forest?

“I see…” She replied, her eyes gliding over you. Frozen in the moment, her stare was intimidating but so was the hundreds of others that oogled at you. It made the hunger settling in your stomach turn into anxiety.

“Feed this poor girl!” A younger woman replied, coming up beside the Tsa’hik. She was thin, her braids similar to Neteyam’s, feathers adorning her hair, as a small child held tightly onto her hand.

“Yes mother.” Neteyam nodded, he looked at you and your frozen form. Laying a soft hand on your shoulder. “Come, your ikran will rest.” He started walking off even before you could process his words but seeing as he was the only person you knew in this place, it was first instinct to follow him around like a lost child.

He lead you into a tent, inside were fruit baskets and water stored in wooden jars. If you weren’t so shocked by the continuous new surrounding you would’ve rushed to the fruit.

“Hurry and eat, everyone can hear your stomach.” Neteyam said as he stood next to the fruit, picking one up to put into your hands. Picking the fruit out of his hands, your fingers brushed his palm slightly.

It shouldn’t have worked you up so much, but the static between the two of you evoked a small gasp out of you. Neteyam felt the touch too, he just decided to ignore it but seeing your overreaction brought a soft smirk to his face.

“Do not make fun of the guests Neteyam!” A girl pushed between the two of you, giving Neteyam a nudge. She was short, her hair messy and her voice deep.

“I was not sister!” Neteyam scoffed pushing his sister back. She let out an exaggerated gasp holding onto her arm dramatically.

Munching onto the fruit in your hands, you watched the pair of sibling’s bicker in front of you. You would’ve giggled at their antics if the anxiety of being in this new place wasn’t controlling every thought.

“Oh! I haven’t introduced myself!” The shorter girl turned to you curtly. “I am Kiri, Neteyam’s sister. What is your name?”

“It’s Y/N.” You said with you mouth full, face covered in a sticky sap excreting from the fruits skin.

“That’s quite pretty, your name.” You heated up, a compliment was rarely something you received.

“Thankyou very much.” You smiled at the girl, your gaze distracted by Neteyam who overlooked your conversation, a soft smile glistening over his face. It looked like was almost in awe watching the two women converse.

Neteyam shook his head, realising he left himself loose in his thoughts. Looking over at your messy face he was mesmerised, each of your features perfectly matched the other, you looked so soft yet sharp, so tough but so elegant.

He shouldn’t be thinking this, not as an Olo’eyktan, he had duties, responsibilities. He can’t develop a liking for another clan woman.

“Are the fruits…good?” He sounded so awkward, destroying the flow of the conversation between you and Kiri. Kiri snorted in response at her brother, she wasn’t dumb, she knew when a boy thought a girl was pretty, especially when its her brother making a fool of himself.

You nodded enthusiastically. “They’re amazing, thankyou Neteyam.” You had finally finished the fruit, leaving your face and hands sticky. An uncomfortable feeling no doubt.

“I’m uh glad.” Neteyam responded, being slightly deterred as his sister left, poking him in the spine as she snuck out of the tent, leaving Neteyam alone, with this…girl.

“Why are you all the way in the forest by the way?” Neteyam asked suddenly, his eyes directly upon yours, looking into them, noticing the glint of sadness that washed over your pupils momentarily.

“I argued with my parents. Flew off in a rush and got distracted as to where I was flying. So now I am here.” You shrugged, taking a seat on the floor of the tent, your legs growing tired from your long journey. Neteyam followed your actions and sat down in front of you. Much closer to where he stood.

“Oh, I am sorry.”

“Do not be sorry, my parents should be the sorry ones, but you do not want to be burdened with the quarrels of my family.” A stifled chuckle escaped your throat as you looked up to see Neteyam listening to your ever word.

“I would not be burdened if you decided to talk about it.” His voice was calm, soft, a comforting feeling spreading through your chest as you heard his words.

“Thankyou.”

Neteyam nodded, as he patted just above your knee, a soft hand to comfort whatever grief was consuming your emotions. “Do you want to sleep, or would you like to continue to eat?”

“Uh, I don’t want to eat more than I am allowed to.”

“Well, are you still hungry?”

“…yes”

Neteyam shoved another piece of fruit in your hands. “Then you will eat.”

“Thankyou.” You smiled at him, biting into the fruit once again.

Neteyam was compelled by your presence, he had known you for merely an hour but the magnetic connection he felt as he was drawn to you was undeniable. Was he going crazy?

You noticed his heavy stare on you once more. It made you nervous, his eyes looking through you as you sat in front of him. His beauty was one you had never seen, he poise interested you. Were you attracted to this random man? You must be going crazy.

Chewing the food in a slightly rush you watched as Neteyam’s eyes awkwardly shuffled around the room to try and avoid making too much eye contact with you. With a small inhale you tried to gain the courage to break the awkward tension between you two.

“So Neteyam, you seem important around here, is there a reason why?” Your question surprised Neteyam. He had never met someone who knew nothing of his reputation within the clan.

“I am the future Olo’eyktan, my father is Toruk Makto.” You almost spat out the food in your mouth. You were speaking so casually with the son of Toruk Makto? Not even that, his firstborn son? He must have been staring because you were so informal!

“Oh! Son of Toruk Makto. I should have been more formal!” You rushed to stand up again to bow down to him. Scrambling to your feet with speed, you felt a soft grip on your wrist.

There Neteyam looked up at you, his eyes slightly…disappointed? Was he really that upset about your informalities?

“Sit back down Y/N, there is no need to be so formal.”

“Are you sure.” Your voice was quiet, eyes filled with confusion and hesitance as he nodded giving you the go ahead to sit once again.

“Yes I’m sure…just think of me as Neteyam.”

“Okay, I’ll do that…Neteyam.” He smiled at the sound of his name, the way you giggled as you said it, smile shining brightly in the soft moonlight that slipped through the tents curtains.

“What are you in your clan?” He asked, trying to keep the conversation flowing with you.

“I am the second daughter of the Olo’eyktan. Nothing special.” You shrugged, avoiding his hardening gaze. His hand returned once again to your thigh, an awkward attempt at comfort but still an attempt.

“You are a daughter of your clan’s leaders, that is important.” A stern statement filled with pride, his eyes softening while looking at you.

“Thankyou.” You said followed with a small yawn, eyes watering slightly. Your body was now feeling the fatigue of the long day that was now behind you.

“Oh, that reminds me, sleeping.” A soft chuckle left your lips in response to Neteyam, eyelids now starting to droop subtly. “This is my tent is where I usually sleep but if you would like you can sleep in here and I can sleep in my family’s tent?” He sounded so unsure, to suggest it as if there was another option as to where you could sleep safely.

“I do not want to kick you out of your bedroom.” You said shaking your head.

“But you are a guest you should sleep here safe.” A quick rebuttal

“Well, but this is your tent. This is where you sleep.”

“No, tonight it is where you sleep.” You sighed, pursing your lips together in response to Neteyams final remarks.

“But-”

“No” he stood up, now looking down at you. His figure looming over you intimidatingly. “You will sleep here tonight. If there is any trouble I am not far away.” He smiled at you, offering a hand to pull you up to his level.

“Are you completely sure?”

“Completely. Goodnight ikran girl.”

“Goodnight Neteyam.”

You both couldn’t deny the heat that rushed flowed to your cheeks. Neteyam stifled his smile as he exited the tent, as a smirking Kiri gave him a knowing look. This may have been the start of something terribly amazing.

It was now morning, a restless night filled with anxiety. The new sounds of the world around you, the mysterious moonlight shining into your eyes and to be alone in a brand new clan. It was terrifying.

Waking up for the last time as you decided it was an appropriate time to start off your day. Siting up you examined the tent around you, the small plants and flowers that littered the ground, and carved wooden pieces that were spread strategically around the tent. He must enjoy decorating you thought to yourself.

The curtain of your room slowly opened, a timid hand holding the edge, peeling it open to reveal Neteyam’s face. “Morning Y/N, did you sleep alright?” He asked closing the curtain again as he entered his tent. He looked down at your barely awake form, the sleep in your eyes and overall exhaustion on your face told him that you in fact did not sleep alright.

“It was fine, thankyou for letting me sleep here.”

“There was no way you weren’t going to, mum would have skinned me if I had not let a woman sleep in her own tent.” He chuckled at the thought, a hand being brought up behind his head.

“Either way, I appreciate it. I’ll have to go home soon though, my parents will send out a search party if I’m not back before todays eclipse.” Neteyam frowned, of course you had to leave. But why was there a tugging in his heart to ask you to stay just a couple hours longer, to talk to you longer, to be near you.

“Yes, but you should stay just a bit…longer.” Neteyam sounded so weary, cursing himself in his mind.

You stared up at him, you couldn’t deny that you wanted to be home, yet you had this growing urge to stay by this stranger. Why? Why did you crave his closeness?

“I guess I could…” His face brightened almost exclaiming in joy, but he choked down his urge to shout.

“Cool.” Cool? Oh, Neteyam you had to be kidding.

“Yeah…cool…” The awkward tension was once again returning as you looked away from the boy in front of you, fidgeting with his hands, rocking on his heels to pray something could meld the awkwardness in the room.

Getting off of your makeshift bed you stood close to Neteyam. Closer than any normal conversation would be. His breath was brushing past your ear as he looked down to see you mimicking his fidgeting.

“Would you like to explore the forest with me?” It was a fast, impulsive, brash decision to ask you that but seeing the way your eyes twinkled in response he felt no shame in being so forward.

“I’d love to.” Sharing smiles, you both enjoyed the now comfortable silence between you. A silence two would share in the pining plot point of a romance movie, one that asserts which two characters will be in love.

“Then let us go!”

That conversation led to you being alone in the forest with Neteyam. As he passionately explained all of the things around you, the plants, the animals. He knew you would have them in your clan, but he was enthralled in the spirit of teaching someone all about his life and culture. To have someone listen so intently to something he was passionate about.

“The forest is beautiful Neteyam.” You breathed out resting your back against a large tree trunk, one similar to the one you landed on the night before.

“I am extremely blessed for it to be my home.” His eyes were bright, smile across his face as his gratitude took over his emotions. He looked alluring to you, a sort of instinct drawing you closer to him, even though he was the one walking closer to you, a subconscious decision.

“Neteyam..” It was quiet but seeing him walk towards you unknowingly led him to stand very close to your front. His chest mere centimetres away from yours. “You are close…” Noticing your whisper he noticed how close he was, he was too busy focusing on the plants around him, he had walked right into you.

He froze when he saw your breath hitch, your eyes connecting as his broad chest momentarily brushed up against yours. “I am sorry, I shouldn’t be.” He looked down seeing your flushed cheeks and avoidant eyes. It intrigued him. Why were you so attractive? He shouldn’t think this.

“No, you shouldn’t.” Your eyes shot up to him, desire pooling in your amber orbs. The feeling was taking over your body, this longing for him. Why did you want this stranger so bad? You knew nothing of him other than the fact that your body was calling for him, begging for him.

Neteyam was now the frozen one, lost in your eyes. The desire you felt transferring to him as he felt his chest grow heavy from yearning. “Y/N…” Your name rolled off his tongue with ease, dripping in anxiousness.

Maybe it was to spite your parents, to find someone before you were mated. Maybe it was the overall intimacy of how Neteyam shyly loomed over you or maybe it was the fact that this man in front of you was the most attractive Na’vi you had ever came across and you were just a teenage girl…alone in the forest.

“Neteyam. Forgive me for this.” Crashing your lips against his your eyes shut tight as your hands travelled up his chest to rest behind his neck. He froze, eyes wide as he felt you upon him. Your touch burning as your hands travelled up and down his body.

Accepting your affections, he closed his eyes and continued to kiss you. Lips latching onto one another as he pulled your into his body, his hands wrapped around the small of your back, thumbs digging into the flesh of your hips.

Starting to lose your breath you broke away from Neteyam’s lips. Meeting his heavy breaths and intense stare. “Neteyam-” cut off as he smashed his lips into yours again. This time it was feverish, his body craving you, to taste you lips and feel every part of your body.

You let out small whimpers as Neteyam’s hands travelled down to grab your ass, his hand resting on the flesh. If he was in his right mind he would’ve been repulsed by his lewd actions but in this moment he craved you, and the sounds you made just drove him closer to insanity.

As hands roamed and kisses grew more desperate you and Neteyam separated, hands laying softly on each other as chests rose in sync, breathing loud and eye contact strong.

“Neteyam, I am sorry. I should not have done that.” The feeling of desire soon turned into shame, not being able to look him in the eye, too embarrassed about what you initiated. Neteyam was still, his face showing none of the feelings he was experiencing.

He longed to taste you again, but he knew it was wrong. He had duties to uphold as leader, he couldn’t kiss whomever he pleased. But you were just so intoxicating.

“No.”

“What?”

“Do not be sorry. I kissed you back. I wanted you so badly. No. I want you so badly.”

“Neteyam, I met you yesterday and I’m leaving today. I shouldn’t have been so impulsive.” He forgot that you had only known each other one eclipse. It felt like eternity. He also forgot that you were meant to leave, you weren’t here forever. This was a mere coincidence, meeting you in the forest was a coincidence.

“Come back then.”

“Huh” You stared up at him, you knew what he said. You just wanted him to repeat himself.

“Leave and come back. We can visit I just…I want to get to know you more Y/N. I don’t want to kiss a girl to never see her again.” Neteyam’s hands had rested against your cheek. It didn’t feel like you had known him for hours, more like years. An old couple reuniting, lost souls reconnecting. That is what it felt like.

“Neteyam…how do I explain that to my parents?”

“Don’t.”

“You are being a bit delusional.”

“I know I just… this is stupid. You just want to go.” His ears flattened against his skull, a prominent frown etched onto his face. You sighed holding onto the hand that laid against your own cheek.

“Neteyam. I want to get to know you as well.”

There it was. That was the start. It was the beginning. You both felt something click in your heads that day. That this is what is right, despite it feeling so wrong.

You and Neteyam had now been visiting each other twice a week. You would fly out on long ‘training hunts’ to understand new waters you have explored but in reality you were in the Pandorian rainforest, sat against a man’s chest as he played with your hair. It had become routine now. It was now habit to see each other.

It felt like true bliss. It let you escape from the impending doom that was meeting your future mate. It felt disgusting to think of living with someone other than Neteyam by your side. Thinking about it made you queasy but most of it made you feel lonely. Knowing one day you would have to say goodbye to Neteyam as your family had trapped you into misery for the benefits of clan’s over their own daughter. However, you didn’t think you would say goodbye to Neteyam this way.

You sat on the tree where you met Neteyam. You decided to pick that one as its large waterfall next to it made it easy for you to know where you were as you barely knew your way around the forest.

Early morning is when you would leave your clan meeting Neteyam as the sun starts to move towards peak. This morning however felt different. Neteyam who usually was there before you was nowhere to be seen. It worried you wondering where he was. He didn’t forget or something did he? No. That is stupid Y/N, you cursed yourself.

Being in the forest alone was scary, not knowing all that resides it made you sensitive to the smallest noise. That’s why when Neteyam emerged out of the heavy foliage you had your knife out ready to attack.

“Y/N? Why is your knife out?”

“You scared the crap out of me Neteyam.” Putting your knife back into the loop of your loincloth you pulled your hands down your face in embarrassment. Your heartbeat now starting to calm down as Neteyam gave you a soft embrace hoping to calm your anxiousness.

“Sorry…I was late talking to my family.” You didn’t realise before because of the adrenaline but Neteyam’s voice was sorrowful. The usual playful tone changing into a melancholy tune. But what alerted you the most was his tear-stricken face. Puffy eyes and dark cheeks.

“Neteyam…have you been crying?” you rested your thumb against his cheek, wiping the residue of tears off his face.

“It is nothing”

“It is definitely something…” your concern grew larger as he looked way from your gaze, obvious he was hiding the new set of tears welling in his eyes.

“No. It is not.”

“Neteyam please-”

“NO Y/N! I- I can’t talk about it. I just want, I want to stay next to you.” His voice cracked, in turn cracking your heart. It ached to see him hurt.

“That is okay baby, come here.” He crashed into your arms, falling onto his knees to smoosh his face into your torso. You could feel the wetness of his tears near your belly button but ignored it to continue soothing him, patting his head softly.

As you sat down to meet him on the ground you noticed his more recent tears. It pained you. What was troubling your boy?

“Nete you can tell me if something is troubling you…”

“I don’t want to lose you Y/N.” The sentence was unexpected, making you widen your eyes as Neteyam continued to let his tears fall out with a stone cold face.

“But I am right here.” A lie, you knew you would be taken away at some point, but you would tried to push it down. Enjoy the time you had with Neteyam, but for some reason he was the one cutting it short.

“No Y/N…I have been promised. I-” he paused to calm himself down, his hand gripping onto your thigh roughly. “I am to mate with someone for my clan. It is my duty.”

“What.”

“Y/N please, I had no say in this.” Your lip quivered, eyes starting to water as you gazed up to the already crying Neteyam. The pain in your body felt crippling, like your heart had been plunged out of you. Small sobs coming out of your mouth in a soft whisper as Neteyam muttered constant apologies to you.

Your chest felt heavy, your body felt heavy. You felt like you were tied down, stuck on the ground you sat on, stuck on Neteyam who hung onto you as you continued to cry in his embrace.

“Neteyam. Does this mean we never see each other again?” His heart shattered at the thought. He had fallen in love with you. Everything you did he wanted to be there with you. He craved you and you craved him. But now you were grieving him and grieving whatever could have been.

“I do not want it to be.”

“But is it.”

“Yes.”

The quiet sobs turned into loud ones as you clawed onto Neteyam. He whispered sweet nothings into your ear as he rocked you back and forth. He tried to have a little composure but hearing your pained voice broke him. He had broken you.

“I don’t want to let you go yet Nete. I was planning on never letting you go! Why did this happen!” you had this secret fantasy in your mind. That one day you and Neteyam would mate, that you would come to your home, denounce your parents promise over you and live happily with Neteyam.

But no. You were now both tied to loveless lives. Constantly yearning for each other while being with one whom you never craved like you craved each other.

“I am so sorry my love. I wish I could do something, but I am stuck.” You nodded, you were in his exact position. You couldn’t blame him. But you wanted to scream, cause a ruckus and demand for Neteyam to stay as yours. It drove you insane. Who was going to be the girl that kept you away from your Neteyam. You’ll skin her, kill her, slit her throat if it meant that Neteyam could still be yours.

“I know…let’s just enjoy our time together” it felt like a knife to the heart, like a final goodbye those last eight words. But Neteyam understood. He knew that this was a goodbye. That all good things had to come to an end but that didn’t make the thought of never having you in his arms again not the most painful thing he had ever thought about.

The ride home was the most painful thing you had ever done. You didn’t stop crying until you reached home, your throat itchy and head pounding. You wanted nothing more than to lay in your hammock and cry. To stay there until it was your time to mate and be miserable forever.

Flying into your home you would’ve thought your parents got the message that you were not to be talked to. But who were they to care about your feelings? So they barged into your room, gasping at the state of their sorrowful daughter.

“My child what has happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You grumbled facing the opposite direction to minimalize the embarrassment you felt of being caught crying.

“We should tell her.” Your fathers voice rung in your ears, making your body go cold. You couldn’t handle anymore bad news, not after this.

“Tell me what.”

“Your mate is to arrive here tomorrow.” Your body heated up, feeling as if your head was on fire with rage. You didn’t even get time to grieve your romance before you were shoved into the hands of a stranger?

“Are you fucking kidding me.”

“Do not speak to us that way.” Your father tried to discipline you, but your rage was nothing compared to him.

“ARE YOU KIDDING?! I DON’T WANT A MATE I WANT TO BE ALONE. FUCK!” You voice was raspy and loud, sure the entire clan could hear you screams.

“You do not get a choice in this. It is for the clan.” You looked into your parents eyes but all you could see is betrayal, how is this fair?

You didn’t have the energy to fight this any longer. Without Neteyam, your purpose was gone. How was anyone meant to fight for their love when their love had been stripped away from them.

“Fine.” Your mother looked at both her mate and daughter with concern. You had given up. “I don’t care anymore, because it is obvious you do not.”

“You brat-” Your mother coughed loudly to stop your father. Sharing glances, you all looked to each other.

“Thank you daughter for doing this.” Sneering you looked directly into your mothers eyes and then to your fathers.

“I am not your daughter.” Their faces had fallen, the same emotion Neteyam had when he first saw you earlier. They had no right to be upset. Not when they chose this.

As your parents left without a word, you curled into a ball, folding in on yourself trying to shy away from the burden of grief and love tugging on your heart. The pain was indescribable, like someone had taken your heart and diced it in front of you.

That morning your mother had put you in your best attire. A top adorned in red beads and yellow feathers that represented your ikran was placed on top of you. Your usually loincloth had been replaced with one of prettier colour and material, more delicate to look at. Lastly, your hair had been let out, reaching past your shoulder blades as a yellow flower was stuck behind your left ear.

“You look beautiful Y/N.” Your mother had her hands over her mouth adoringly. “Doesn’t she look wonderful?” she asked your father as he replied with a proud nod.

A horn was sounded. Here they come. Entitled pieces of shit, thinking that they could mate into your clan. This wasn’t fair, you just wanted to see Neteyam. You wanted to cry in his arms, yet here you were walking out into the crowd of people. Drums being beat as horns blew. You tried to look poised, to try and look like you weren’t writhing in anxiety of who this man would be.

There flew in three ikrans. Why did it look so familiar? Why was the flashing colours of these animals bringing you back to siting in the forest with your love. You must be going insane.

“Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk’itan! Welcome! Toruk Makto! Welcome!”

What.

No.

This cannot be happening. But it was.

There he stood in front of you. Just as frozen as you. The quiver of your lips came back as you saw him stand in front of you in disbelief.

“Neteyam?” He walked towards you slowly, reaching his shaking hand out to you. You paced towards him, wrapping your hand around his and bringin it to your chest. “It’s! It’s you!” you felt as if you were to burst in relief

“My love, it is you?” Neteyam’s free hand came to caress your cheek, his heart was sparkling, he felt a weight being lift off his shoulders the minute you came into view.

“It is me.” Neteyam’s lip quivered as he sucked in a short breath, trying desperately to not look as if he was a madman. “Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Kiss me Neteyam.” He complied, lips melting together in a harmonious union. Love mixed with the salty tears on both your cheeks as he held you closely to him. You kissed him deeply, ignoring the stares and confusion around you. He was here right in front of you, you would never let him go again. Never.

──── ⑅*❀*⑅ ────

hope you enjoyed please comment and reblog and like I appreciate it so much !!

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midlife-crisisperson · 2 years ago

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I’m in love- so sweet and fluffy

not broken

pairing: neteyam x fem!human!reader

description: the one where neteyam comforts you when you fall into a depressive episode.

word count: 1.2k

warnings: talks of depression, pure fluff, comfort

You couldn’t bring yourself to move, the thought of leaving your bed being too much to bear. All your lights were off, your covers thrown over your body up to your neck and you were facing the wall your bed was against. Your eyes were closed, but sleep couldn’t find you at all. You’d been up, restlessly tossing and turning for hours and as tired as you felt, your body couldn’t relax enough to fall asleep.

Days like this were the hardest. There was a heaviness that lingered in your diaphragm, a rock that settled and wouldn’t move no matter how badly you wanted it to. This rock was sinking you, and you couldn’t find the will to do anything but let it keep you down.

When you got this bad, it scared Norm and Max. They had already been in to check on you twice, each of them trying to talk to you to get you out of bed, but nothing worked. They’d sigh each time they were met with no response, just a shifting of the blanket going above your head so that they would get the hint and leave. They’d left your lunch in the chair sat adjacent from your bed, but the food had gone untouched. Despite the emptiness that settled in your stomach, you couldn’t bring yourself to eat anything.

You didn’t know how to explain the sadness that sat with you, but it was felt so strongly that it seemed to consume everything in its wake. When you got into a depressive episode like this, you could swear that you’d never known what happiness felt like, like all you knew was numbness or heartache. All you wanted was to curl up in the darkness of your room and never come out.

You heard the door of your room open again, sighing softly to yourself as you prepared for another attempt from Norm and Max. However, you’re surprised to hear the door shut and heavy footsteps walk up to the side of your bed.

“This isn’t like you y/n.” Neteyam.

Your eyes open at the sound of his voice, the softness of it bringing tears to your eyes as you refused to turn over to look at him. Instead, you curled into a tighter ball and gripped the blanket around your shoulder harshly, hoping that your refusal to speak would get him to go away.

This was the first time Neteyam had seen you like this, and truth be told it scared him shitless. He’d been warned by Norm and Max before entering that you weren’t doing well, but this was a kind of illness he didn’t know how to handle. There was nothing physically wrong with you that he could see, but he could feel the shift in your energy and the heaviness that rested over you. He could sense how desperately you wanted to be left alone, but the nerves that clutched at his chest wouldn’t let him give that to you.

“You are worrying me, yawne,” he tells you, using your favorite nickname to try and get a response from you.

You don’t want to give in, but there were now tears streaming down your cheek and wetting the hair by your ear and the pillow beneath your head. You sniffle loudly, unable to help it and the sound makes Neteyam’s ears flatten against his head. He takes matters into his own hands, softly grabbing your shoulder and turning you to lay on your back. When his eyes land on the side of your face, his eyes sadden.

“Why are you crying, yawntutsip?” He asks gently, his fingers coming up and rubbing away the tears that had fallen from your eyes. You can’t stop yourself from looking at him, your heart clenching in pain at the sight of his saddened eyes.

“I just don’t feel like myself,” you admit softly, your voice cracking slightly. You hadn’t talked to anyone since yesterday morning, the last time you had left your room.

“What’s going on?” He asks, his eyes pleading for you to say anything to him.

You sigh, looking at him and studying his face. There was no sign of judgement towards you, only eyes that were pleading with you for some sort of explanation. You couldn’t help but feel guilty for making him worry like this, the sinking feeling only worsening the more you looked at his worried state.

“There’s this heaviness inside of me,” you try explaining, trying to find the right words to properly describe it all.

“Where?”

“Here.” You point to a spot on his abdomen right below his sternum.

“And here.” You point to his chest, right over his heart.

“Did something happen to cause you this pain?”

“Norm and Max said it’s a chemical imbalance in my brain,” you tell him, “and that it causes these feelings. We don’t have the medicine to help like Earth does, so I just have to take it as it comes.”

Neteyam frowns at this, hating the fact that you have to just wait for these feelings to pass whenever they come. It hurts his heart to see you look so utterly defeated, your eyes bloodshot and dark circles caressing the bottom parts of your eyes. He hates that you haven’t eaten, that these emotions have caused you to stop caring for yourself properly. He wishes more than anything that he could carry some of this feeling for you, lighten the load so it didn’t drag you down like this.

“Neteyam what-“

“Fnu,” he tells you as he pushes you over in your bed before lifting the blanket and climbing in beside you.

You’re fully facing him now and watching as he tries to get comfortable, his face giving away his discomfort as he shifts and tries to settle into the bed that is much too small for him. As he rests his head on your pillow, you look down and see that his legs from the knee down are hanging off the end of the bed, the sight enough to earn him a small smile.

“There’s my girl,” he whispers, his thumb coming up and grazing your bottom lip softly. You return your gaze to him, looking into his golden eyes and letting your guard down completely.

“I’m sorry you love someone who is broken,” you whisper, your smile fading as you continue to look at the man you’d fallen for.

“You are not broken,” he tells you sternly, his fingers now grasping your chin to keep you from looking away from him. “This is not something you should ever feel ashamed of. I’m so sorry I cannot take this heaviness from you.”

He pulls you into his arms after that, your body melting into his instantly the way it always did whenever you were near him. Your head rests in the crook of his neck, his hand holding it there and rubbing soft circles into your scalp. His other hand is draped over your waist, his fingers dancing along your spine and rubbing slowly.

“Will you stay?”

“I will stay here as long as you want,” he tells you, pressing a small kiss to your forehead before returning to his previous position. It isn’t long before you are drifting off in his arms, his warmth the only thing you feel before falling completely asleep.

#neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam fluff #neteyam avatar #neteyam atwow #atwow #awow neteyam #neteyam awow #neteyam x reader #neteyam comfort

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plzfeedmebread · 2 years ago

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Resplendent

word count: 1220

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x Female! Metkayina! Na'vi Reader Tags/warnings: Fluff, angst, bittersweet, established relationship, adult reader, adult Neteyam, no smut Summary: Neteyam quietly watches you from the shore as you perform a ritual dance in the water, to the utter delight of your daughters.

Author's Note: Set some time after the big battle. Also moved those events further ahead. You and Neteyam are mated and have children before the RDA attacks the reef. Got inspired by the song~

Sa’nu - mum, mommy

Tahni - bioluminescent freckle

Close your eyes.

Deep breathes.

Remember the moves.

Remember the words...

Your heart thrums in your chest almost painfully. You take a deep, slow, calming breath; placing a hand over your heart.

“Sa’nu? Are you okay?”

You open your eyes, looking down to meet the gaze of your youngest daughter. The cool water of the sea comes up to her neck. Sweet thing. You told her, she and her sister could watch you from the shoreline. But they were persistent to be as close to you as possible. The water barely reaches your hips.

You offer a soft smile, reaching down and affectionately stroking her hair.

“I’m okay…Don’t worry my little star. Mommy’s just nervous.” The 5-year-old beams up at you with a toothy grin. Your 6-year-old beside her pats you on the arm.

“You practiced aaaaall the time! You got this.” She offers you her own encouraging smile. You give her an appreciative nod before facing the shoreline once more. You return your face to neutrality, closing your eyes once again.

You hear the disturbance of the water as your daughters move a bit to the side to give you more space to move.

With one final calming breath, you open your mouth and begin the song cord of your family.

---

Neteyam stands under the shade of a nearby tree on the shoreline. His arms are crossed as he watches the three of you.

The evening breeze carries your voice to him. He stands up straight when the sound hits his ears.

When you sing, it reminds him of the melody of birdsong in spring. No matter how many years may pass between you two, every time he hears you play the instrument of your heart, he feels like he could fall in love with you all over again.

He takes in your form as you start swaying in the water, admiring you from top to bottom.

Your hair, thick and long, reaching all the way down to your knees; you and your sisters spent what must have been hours, braiding it into the intricate patterns now adorning your head.

Even from this distance, he can still make out the faint markings of the tattoos framing your face. Though today you also have a thin line of white painting the centre of your face. You could have mud smeared all over and he would still find you to be the most beautiful woman; you have him convinced you are blessed by Eywa herself.

You arms move slow and with purpose through the air; attuned with the words as they fall from your lips.

Your soft lips.

How he wishes he could kiss you right now.

You dip down, submerging your arms into the water. In one fluid motion, you rise back up to your feet, the motion you perform with your hands and arms bring water up with you as you rose. Your arms are stretched out to your sides as you pirouette.

Neteyam’s heart skips a beat as he watches you, and it’s as if time itself slows, just so he can drink in the beauty of your very being.

With your back to eclipse, your front is cast in shadow.

The water falls around you in a shimmering curtain of rain. The last light of eclipse hits the smooth stones woven into the fabric on your chest; causing a cascade of colours to dance across your skin. And when the sun disappears, your tahni come to life like the brilliance of dawn.

It’s one of his most favourite parts of your body. Though you had the scattered stars as did all Na’vi, for reasons he attests only to being blessed by Eywa, you have thin bioluminescent swirls weaving itself around your arms, chest, and all down your legs. To him it’s like a faint galaxy glittering in the night.

He recalls fondly the memory of him knowing each and every star on your body intimately.

And in the fading light of the day do you shine before him. Resplendent as you are in the day, so too will you dazzle the world around you in the darkness of the approaching night.

His heart throbs something fierce when you open your eyes after dipping into the water once more. Even behind the curtain of water, or the netting of the fabric draped over your head, your eyes glow with a fierceness he knows all to well. It pierces his very soul, a warmth sweeping over him.

He drinks you in more as you bend your form this way and that. He wishes he knew the intricacies of your dance; understood what each fluid motion meant, the significance of each swish of your tail, or the ways you angle your hands and bend your fingers.

You close your eyes as you near the end of the cord song.

As you perform another twirl, you playfully swat the water with your thick tail, splashing your daughters.

Their uncontrollable gigging brings a smile to your face. You open your eyes as you continue to dance, giving them a loving look. They’re splashing each other with reckless abandon as they try to imitate your moves. You can’t help the unrestrained laughter their antics bring you.

Neteyam laughs quietly to himself as he watches his girls playfully flay about in the water. Every day since their birth he’s given thanks to both you and the Great Mother for blessing him with such miracles. He hadn’t thought it was possible to love something as much as he loved you.

He feels a stray tear fall down his cheek. But he doesn’t move to wipe it away. Instead he continues to smile as he watches your song and dance coming to its conclusion.

You turn to face the horizon, and his gaze drifts to his girls.

They’re singing something he can’t quite make out, but he loves the sound nonetheless.

And when their eyes meet his, finally noticing his presence, they wave at him wildly, giggling all over again.

His smile grows wider, and he offers them a small wave back.

---

One final pose, and you hold the final note of your song, eyes still closed. You hold that note until your lungs and throat burn.

You hear the excited cheers of your daughters as they shower you with praise. Your breathing is laboured as your heart pounds in your chest, but you offer them a bow and a small smile of gratitude.

You turn yourself to the horizon before you finally open your eyes. The ritual dance has come to and end.

You rub the cool ocean water on your cheeks, in your neck, and down your arms; all in an effort to cool you down from your laborious activity. You breath deep in from the nose, and slowly exhale through your mouth, calming your rapid heartbeat.

The girls still giggle beside you, resuming their unrefined dancing; now also singing their favourite lullaby in lieu of a songcord.

Sufficiently cooled off, you turn your head to your daughters to admire them in their silliness.

Your brow nits in slight confusion though, when you see them waving at something behind you, giggling all the while.

You turn around, curiosity in your eyes.

But the shoreline is just as empty as when you arrived.

---

Author's Notes: It was a private funeral dance 😢

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chachadelight · 2 years ago

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Me laying awake at night trying to perfectly place myself into my comfort tv show/movie:

#tangerine #bullet train #tangerine x reader #marvel #lemon and tangerine #avatar #avatar 2 #atwow #Neteyam #lo’ak #Jake sully #fanfiction #comfort character

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luvv4j4ybe11 · 1 year ago

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With time

✧𝐓𝐰𝐢n 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐥𝐨’𝐚𝐤

✧Tw!!: mentions of death,sibling loss, lo’ak dies instead of neteyam, lots of crying, first time celebrating birthday without your twin brother, mentions of su!c!de, underaged dr!nking, mentions of alcohol,mostly angst with some fluff towards the end (if you squint),feelings of grief and depression and I think that’s all, enjoy this lil Drabble<33

✧Dividers by @benkeibear

✧ translation(s): Skxawng-moron,idiot , kuru-queue, hammerbrow fish- the goldfish that kiri was playing with in that one scene (idk how else to describe it😭)

(Listen to this to make it extra sad🥰)

You woke up feeling the weight on your chest being even heavier than usual. Your face still wet with tears from last nights realization. That realization being that today was your birthday but not just yours, it was his too. Ever since the night he died, you haven’t left your side of the marui since.

Even though it’s been four months since your twin brother died, that day just keeps replaying in your head, the sound of your mother screaming, the look of absolute devastation on your older brothers face, the blood on your hands, the sound of tsireya crying, lo’aks cold expression, the way your father looked at you with complete disappointment and spat out a cold, “you’ve done enough”

Every time you thought about it you felt sick.

And naturally, being Navi twins you guys were connected more than normal siblings were, you felt each other’s heartbeats, felt when the other was happy or sad, uncomfortable or frustrated. So when you felt cold and utterly alone, you knew he was gone.

But yet there’s still times you hear his heartbeat, you feel how lonely he is and how much sorrow he’s filed with. And it makes you weak with sadness every time.

Being pulled out of your thoughts by a small pair of hands on your bicep shaking you back and forth, you turn around to see your baby sister staring back at you with a smile on her face, her eyes still washed with sadness. Yes, she was young, but she certainly wasn’t stupid. She knew how to read the room better than kids your age did.

“Sis, come on, get up! It’s your birthday!” She says while climbing onto you to give you a hug, which was something she did every year, but this one was more gentle and genuine than the others. You break the hug to place a hand on her head, lightly ruffling her braids,“Maybe later tuktuk, I’m still a little tired.” You say,weakly trying to hide the pain in your features with a fake smile.

She frowns at this, making you let out a soft chuckle as you go to push her off of you. Making her cling onto you more. “That’s what you always say!, please sis, can you get up? For me? For lo’ak?” She says while looking at you with puppy dog eyes. The slight mention of his name brings tears to your eyes, not ready to start this day without him.

“Sister, leave her be, alright? How about you go see what kiri is up to?” Neteyam says as he lifts the curtain to get into your side of the hut, holding it open for tuk to run out eagerly to find her sister.

Closing it, he glances at you before siting on your sleeping mat, “Sister, I’m-” “Teyam don’t. I can’t go through today with this fake sympathetic bullshit!, you guys were constantly on both of our asses for everything! You guys never cared about how we felt! How he felt! You know how many times he came to me telling me how dad made him feel like shit? Or how kiri was pushing him about certain things? Or how he caught dad talking to you about how he’s, “too reckless” and he “wouldn’t be surprised if he got himself killed”?”

His ears pin back to his skull immediately, knowing the exact conversation you were referring to. “Sister, you think that didn’t bother me too? I told him that lo’ak only acted like that because he wanted to be like him. But of course he didn’t listen. And do you think I wasn’t aware of how you guys felt? Why do you think I’d always have both of your guys backs whenever you got into trouble? Why do you think I came up with lies left and right to mom and dad so you two wouldn’t get your asses beat? I wanted to avoid making you guys feel like that, but I only have so much control y/n..” he says as he squeezes his his fists in anger, his feelings from that night bubbling to the surface again.

You move from your comfortable position to sit next to him, bringing him into a much needed hug. “Brother, I know you did. I know you try every single day. And I look up to you because of that. You’re stronger than I am. You keep pushing forward even though there’s so much shit happening to you, I don’t understand how you do it.” You say as you feel tears flowing from your face, the hug reminding you of how lo’ak used to hug you whenever you were in a mood.

“I do it because of you guys. Because of him. You guys are the reason I keep pushing. And especially the both of your skxawng asses” he says with a soft chuckle before breaking the hug, placing his hand on your head softly, something he did with you and lo’ak that became a comfort thing for the both of you. “You can do this today sister, I believe in you, we all do.” His tone making tears automatically spill over your eyes, and causing you to notice his tear filled eyes.

Looking for some sort of grounding you place your hand over his and squeeze, taking multiple deep breaths before speaking. “Teyam.. I can’t, I miss him so much. Everytime I wake up I feel so alone and cold, but I can still hear his breath, and his heartbeat. My pain is not only mine, but his too.” You say in between sobs, watching neteyams breathing get more shallow as he tries to hold in his tears. His features covered in concern.

“Oh baby sis..” bringing you into another much needed hug. He places a light kiss on your forehead before rubbing your back and gently swaying you from side to side,trying to calm down your cries.

Kiri walks in quietly, the feeling of your pain drawing her to your room. Her whole body goes slack and cold when she sees your state, making her glance at Neteyam. That feeling intensifying even more once she saw the pain in his eyes. She takes her place behind you, quickly inserting herself into the hug. Wrapping her right arm around your waist and the other overlapping with neteyams so she can hold him too,her chin resting on your shoulder.

“You feel him don’t you? His heartbeat? His sorrow? His breath? Like he’s just a word about to be spoken?” Without lifting your head you nod quickly, too mentally exhausted speak anymore. “I know how you feel sister. Take that feeling as a way of him telling you to keep going. Keep breathing for him, keep your heart beating for him. That sorrow will be gone once he sees that you’re living for him.”

Her words make you sob even more. Knowing she’s right, he’s always hated seeing you cry, and he did anything to fix it. Purposely making himself look like a dumbass, making you go on an ikran ride with him, asking you to go exploring with him, taking you to you guys secret spot, pinky promises. He did anything for you. And so did you.

A wave of calm suddenly hits you, making your sobs come to a complete stop, and your breathing becomes more level. Feeling the change, your siblings give each other a confused glance before looking down at you. “Sister?..” they both say in sync as you break the hug and get up, your features going completely cold. “I’m going to visit him..if that’s ok with you guys” you say while lifting up a blanket, revealing a stash of alcohol you’ve been keeping ever since his funeral.

Quickly you take a bottle and cover it back up, grabbing your hunting knife and putting on both you and lo’aks matching bracelets you made on your 10th birthday. Walking towards the curtain to leave, you’re pulled back by a gentle pull on your shoulder.

“Y/n..don’t don’t drink today. It’s not gonna stop you from hurting, and you know that.” Kiri says while gliding her hand down to your hand that was holding the alcohol firmly. “Yeah, I know that kiri, but it dulls it somewhat. And it stops me from wanting to throw myself off of a cliff so I think it’s worth it. Plus it’s my birthday! I’m allowed to drink as much as I want today!!” You say in a fake enthusiastic tone, your sarcasm reminding them so much of lo’ak.

“Y/n.” Neteyam says in a soft but stern tone, the one that told you that whatever he was about to say was gonna be serious. “Don’t drink. I know you’ve been hurting more than we have but we need you here. Lo’ak needs you here. You know how much he hates seeing you hurt.” He says as his voice starts to crack slightly, remembering all the things the three of them would come up with whenever you were anything but happy and content.

Feeling the tears well in your eyes again, you squeeze the bottle tighter, fighting the instinct to drown your feelings in the burning liquid.

Glancing over at them, your heart breaks seeing the genuine hurt on their faces because of the realization you’ve been drinking this whole time and they didn’t know. Sighing angrily,you shove the bottle into neteyams chest. “Fine, but when I get back just save me a bottle, because I know it’ll be gone by the time I come back.” You say while turning out of your room swiftly, leaving kiri and neteyam there speechless.

Once you get to the spirt tree, you thank payakan and tell him that you’ll see him soon. Ever since lo’aks passing you’ve only really left your marui to go see payakan, knowing he carries the same weight as you do.

While swimming towards the tree, you mentally prepare yourself for this painful experience. You’ve been avoiding coming to the tree in the first place, because you knew how much it take out of you. And he knew the same.

Connecting your kuru to the tree, you’re brought to you and lo’aks secret spot back at your actual home. The only place that brought you two comfort. Tentatively, you walk through the clearing, lo’ak still not in sight.

“Lo?, where are you?” You call out, the sound of your own voice making you realize you weren’t 15, but you were younger. Walking towards a curtain of flora that led to a small river, you catch a glimpse of your brother, making you walk quicker.

Once you get there you see lo’ak sitting at the edge of river with his feet languidly swaying in the water, just staring into the water. Almost like he was waiting for something, or someone. You don’t say anything at first, just taking in the sight of him after not seeing him for months.

“Brother..” you say softly, not wanting to disturb his peace. His head whips in the direction of your voice, his expression lighting up as he gets up and walks towards you. “Sister!!, I thought you’d never show!” He says as he takes you into a hug, the sound of his voice making you giggle since he was also his younger self.

“Of course I did, it just took me a little time. You know I’d always come to see your skxawng ass” you say as you break the hug to shove his face with your pointer and middle finger. He giggles at that, his smile making the weight on your chest get lighter.

Grabbing your hand, he guides you to where he was sitting. Taking your seat beside him, you gaze out into the water with him.Nervously playing with your extra finger, you take a breath before talking about what you were avoiding for so long.

“Brother I’m-” you exhale slowly before continuing, noticing out of the corner of your eye how all lo’aks attention was turned to you. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t be here. It should’ve been me that got shot that night. I was the one that put the idea into your head to go save spider. I should’ve just told you and teyam to go so I could’ve got spider by myself-” “Sister,” he cuts you off, your rambling making the pain in his heart worse. “It’s not your fault. You need to stop hurting yourself like this. It’s not fair to you. You need to focus on now. Not ‘what if’. And plus, It’s not like I would’ve listened to you if you told me to go anyway, there’s no way in hell I’d let that happen.”

Both of you giggle at the last part, knowing that he’s not lying. Once your laughs die down, you look down at your hands, that feeling of guilt still lingering in your chest. Glancing over at you, he notices how you’re playing with your pinkies, a telltale sign that told him something was bothering you.“Sister, what else is it?” He says as he leans back onto his hands, noticing how your shoulders slightly go stiff from his question.

Turning your body to face him, you don’t fail to notice the genuine look of concern in his eyes. “You know what day it is today?” You ask, making his expression completely drop. “Yeah, I know.” The words feeling like a weight on his tongue. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do today without you lo’. I can’t. It hurts too much.” You say as the tears finally spill over your face, the grief crawling back up your throat once again. “No, y/n, you can and you will. For me. Just because I’m here doesn’t mean you can’t live out there. Live for me, y/n. Stop letting yourself be consumed by grief and guilt. I hate seeing you like this and you know that.” He says sternly, making sure you know he’s being serious.

All you do is nod your head, not trusting your voice with the lump in your throat and the never ending tears that keep falling from your eyes. The sight of your hurting form makes lo’aks heart twist in pain. And the fact he couldn’t really do much hurt even more. “Come here, sis,” Placing his hand on your shoulder he pulls you towards him. Giving you a much needed hug, immediately making you sob into the crook of his neck.

“I miss you, twin” he says while resting his chin on your shoulder, letting the tears fall freely from his eyes. You let out a broken, “i miss you more” as the void in your chest grows the longer you two hug.

Once you finally calm down,you break the hug, now seeing each other how you guys remember. “Well shit..” you both say in sync, making you both laugh. “You look so grown. I don’t like it.” Lo’ak says as he admires you a little longer, a feeling of peace swirling in his chest. “Yeah,me neither” you say in a soft tone, once again feeling guilty for moving on without him with you.

Placing left hand on your head, and his right on your shoulder he looks at you with a soft smile on his face, “Y/n,you’ll be ok. I’ll always be watching you, and I’ll always protect you.” The tone of his voice making you inhale sharply so the next wave of tears doesn’t come. He raises his pinky finger towards you, waiting for you to do the same. You let out a soft chuckle at his childish behavior before obliging.

Once both of you pinkies are holding onto one another, he grips your shoulder tighter. “Promise me, that you won’t give up on yourself, that you won’t push everyone away, that you won’t drink your feelings away. Promise me that you can get over this feeling. That you will live through this feeling.”

You squeeze his pinky even tightly as you feel the tears well up in your eyes, realizing that time will make no difference to how much you miss him. But it will for how much you will grow through this feeling.

Tugging his pinky towards yours, you nod your head ‘yes’ before saying, “I promise. I promise I’ll do my best for you. I promise that I’ll try for you.” The words making a smile appear on his face. He brings you into a loving hug, the warmth of comfort washing over both of you guys.

“Happy birthday,twin” you guys say in sync again, a soft giggle coming from both of you. Breaking the hug, he grabs your hands and squeezes them tightly “ow! That hurts!” “I don’t care! I want you to have fun for me today alright? Celebrate us! Spend time with everyone that loves you and gives a shit about you. You deserve it!” he says through his laughs, making you smile softly at his childish demeanor.

“Alright I will!! I’ll come visit you again tonight and I’ll tell you all about today!” You say in a giddy tone, noticing that this has been the first time you’ve been somewhat happy since these last 4 months.

“You better” he says while rolling his eyes dramatically, knowing he did it to make you laugh. Once your laughter dies down, you both look back at the water. Not wanting this moment to end already. “I love you,bro” you say while bumping your shoulder against his, making him laugh and do the same to you. “I love you more,sis” he says with a soft smile on his face, one that replaced the one on yours.

You two stay like this for a while, just basking in each others presence and invading each others space. Thoughts of leaving suddenly crowd your head and the second those thoughts occur, your brother says something about it.“Y/n go spend the day with them. You know how they get on our birthday, plus they’ll make you feel better.” He says in a delicate tone, a soft smile on his face from remembering how much they loved celebrating your birthdays. You sigh softly, before reluctantly standing up.

He gets up with you, bringing you into an affectionate hug. Without breaking it, he whispers “I’ll miss you,sister.” With complete sadness laced in his tone. A tear falls from your face from the sound of his voice,“I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know, brother.” You two stay like this for a while, until it starts getting harder to breathe, a harsh reminder of the truth.

Breaking the hug, you give him a look that lets him know that, making him hesitantly let go of you. “I’ll see you later tonight brother, I promise. I love you!” You say while turning around to leave, hearing him let out a little ‘I love you, too’ before you leave.

Once you reach the surface you catch your breath, calling out to your ilu and mentally going over your interaction with your brother to avoid acknowledging that void in your chest.

It’s a peaceful ride back home, until you start getting in your head about ‘having fun’ today without lo’ak. Because it wasn’t just your birthday, but his too. And celebrating without him just doesn’t feel right, even tuk knows that.

But right when you start having those doubts, a group of hammerbrow fish swarm around you and your ilu, stopping you in your tracks. One of them swims up to your face and flicks your forehead, making you furrow your brows and shove it away. They swim around you and you ilu for awhile longer before leaving, one of them staying back a little longer to look at you.

The whole interaction left you with a smile on your face, knowing that it was definitely lo’ak telling you to calm down, and to stop worrying about unnecessary things. Making hope swirl in your chest.

With time, you know you’ll be okay.

A/N~ this took SO LONG to write oh my fucking god. But we made it!! And I hope you guys enjoyed this (and this is my first angst fic so pls cut me some slack if some phrasing gets repetitive😔) because I did, didn’t enjoy the tears I cried while writing this but it was worth it🩷 if you made it to the end and you’re reading this I wanna thank you so much for reading this whole long ass fic, must really love me huh😏?? LMFAOO but anyway! Otw to write for kinkmas now🏃🏽‍♀️💨

Duces🫶🏽,

Luvv4j4ybe11

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