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lo1k-diamonds · 3 months

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Too Sweet 💜 Chapter 3 - But then you wake up for the sunrise

PAIRING: Demon!Yoongi x (f)reader

SUMMARY: Coming from unabashed wealth has its perks — like never having to lift a finger in your life. When that suddenly changes, you end up at a crossroads: how far will you go to have everything you want?

WORD COUNT: 8.9k

GENRE: Crossroad Demon AU (Sloth), smut, angst

RATING: R (explicit)

WARNINGS: implied trauma and abuse, including neglect growing up, unprotected sex, biting, pain mixing w/ pleasure, choking and breath play, anal play, degrading thoughts, nipple play, blowjob + face fucking, subspace and aftercare, crying, fighting

A.N. Getting attached to your demon comes with perks... and vulnerabilities. Here's to my favorite part 💜

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The high yet soothing ringing of the Tibetan Singing Bowl along with the water streaming down a gentle creek permeated your ears and all around you. You were lying face down on a massage table, naked with your hair carefully tied in a bun so your masseuse could spread the perfumed oils all over your back. As the wooden cushion striker rolled on the bowl to emit the healing verberations, you tried not to twist your nose at the recording of the rivulet. You supposed your money could get you anything but not a natural brook at that spa and resort you owned.

Your masseuse finished after removing the excess with a warm towel and bowed deeply before exiting the room. A moment later, the bowl stopped ringing as that person left as well, and you got up languidly. You let the towels that once covered you fall to the floor without much thought and reached for the warm robe waiting for you. This session had become something of a routine for you and as such, you knew exactly where to go to return to your suite up on the last floor.

You supposed you could just buy another spa and resort somewhere where there was a creek. Maybe in Tibet or Nepal; someplace untamed and breaming with healing energy. Not that it would solve anything, you mused as you got in the elevator. Those massages were good but they didn’t fix you and you didn’t believe a natural brook or even a monastery full of monks could help with that. You chuckled to yourself and brushed the bracelets around your wrists gently; you wondered how they would take the company if you ever engendered such a situation.

Truthfully, despite your searches, you were convinced that there was only one way to actually relax. To the best of your knowledge, there was no treatment or experience you hadn’t tried, and all they ever did was push the tension. You could feel it going from one corner to the other, one muscle to the next, tight within you without ever releasing. So far there had only been one way to accomplish that and you were starting to not care for any other way.

You thought getting high could have been a way but you wouldn’t make that mistake twice. After he had healed you a month back, you hadn’t touched anything but tobacco and alcohol. This was an accomplishment for you, but the real achievement was what you had found to replace your former addictions.

It started with touching your bracelets and wondering until you wished him to your presence and were startled when he came. You still remembered his piercing eyes just staring from across your suite, wondering why you would have called him when you had nothing you could possibly want.

Nothing except for him.

“I need a private jet,” you had pouted, unable to look away from him. As usual, he was all in black, looking like an executive about to have a neat whisky and fuck his secretary senseless.

The way his black shirt stretched when he chuckled and shrugged entranced you. “You have endless money, just buy one.”

“But I don’t have endless time,” you rebutted, a sly smile ebbing as you congratulated yourself for thinking so fast on your feet. “Buying takes time, asking you is way faster.”

His eyes squinted ever so slightly as if seeing through you, “Even if it costs you?”

You grinned, “It’s a fine balance.”

He had said nothing, only stood there looking at you, but you were daring. You walked up to him, gave him a cheeky nod, and got on your tiptoes to kiss him, just like you had days before to be healed of your addictions. Your heartbeat was now as strong as then, and while you were unsure whether the warm buzz in your bones was from the excitement or the expense, you couldn’t help the fluttering inside your chest. Because he didn’t push you back, nor did he break up your kiss.

Your phone started ringing and so you parted ways yourself, only to be told that the jet purchase had finally gone through and everything had been handled. You had laughed then and thrown your arms around his neck to kiss him again, and that was the beginning.

At first, you asked for simple things, most of which just filled you with curiosity: a secret, the answer to a current dilemma, the draft or script of a book or play you wanted to have access to beforehand. Every time you would use your time as an excuse, knowing very well that by doing so, it was only making it even shorter. Yet you did it with a wide smile because it earned you a kiss every time, sometimes even more than one, until it led to the real high you craved ever since you met him.

“You’re keeping tabs, right?” You would joke immediately, before he was even soft inside you, the sting still on your asscheeks as he rolled his eyes and moved away.

Regardless of his demeanor, he’d always show, take your kiss, and deliver. And all you could do was laugh and sigh because nothing compared to that. The thrill, the victory, the validation, the sleep — everything that came with him gave flare to your existence, and nothing compared.

You strutted across your suite to your bedroom, taking a deep comforting breath. You drew the black curtains to your luxurious bedroom and opened the windows to let the warm summer breeze invade the space. Your lips twitched in a mischievous smile at the thought of screeching at the top of your lungs for the whole building to hear.

You let the robe pool on the floor before you got on the bed. You took a deep breath and bent down in a downward dog pose, stretching yourself to retain a semblance of relaxation and maybe warm up a bit. After a couple of long breaths, you lowered to your forearms before collapsing your chest and knees into a puppy pose. That was when your neck finally stretched the way you liked, and when you brushed the bracelets around your wrists with a deep desire.

“What the fuck do you want this time?”

A shiver ran up your spine, mixing with the breeze puckering your skin. Your eyes were closed but you could just imagine the scene: you, with your hair up in a bun naked over the black silk sheets with your ass up while your chest pressed to the mattress, and him, behind you with a privileged view of exactly how ready you were for him.

“What are you doing, kitten?”

“Stretching,” you voiced calmly, resisting wiggling your ass. Teasing him was a tricky game; you couldn’t risk him leaving. Even if he never had without hearing you out first, you didn’t want it to ever happen. “And waiting.”

Silence stretched aside from the breeze billowing the curtains, but you didn’t break form to turn and see. You were confident he had his eyes on you just by the way your guts started slowly churning.

“Come on,” you beckoned, voice low and seductive. “Come make me feel—”

A whimper cut you off and blended with your smugness quickly.

Good.

You didn’t need to ask anymore; it was as if he could read your thoughts. That had to be why he was pushing a finger inside you crudely, unbothered by how unprepared you were.

Maybe because he knew how ready you already were. “Again?”

A quiet whine left your lips as they parted, “I want to relax.”

You just knew he could feel it — the way your muscles were relaxing as though a wave was washing over them. Inch by inch, from your core to your extremities — decompressing, releasing your tension slowly as he probed your wet hole with a single finger.

“Time… is ticking,” he said calmly and you cried, toes curling with how utterly surrendered you were. He had pushed in another finger almost hiddenly until he parted them inside you to grossly stretch you. “And you still haven't lifted a finger.”

Blood rushed to your cheeks with your moan, forcing you to grab the sheets as you hid your face. It was extremely difficult to acknowledge a word he was saying when both your mind and body were screaming for pleasure.

“You speak— as though— I have no time,” your voice thinned with every movement of his fingers with your nails gripping onto the sheets.

“It’s not that you have no time,” he acceded calmly despite your loud and long outcry — he was pushing his fingers into your wet walls until you were almost curling and breaking position. “It’s that you don’t value the time you do have.”

You were starting to sweat; both the physical effort and his fingers pressing a familiar spot inside you were creating an uncontrollable fire in your gut. You parted your lips and only a breath made it out as you shut your eyes and let the blazing wave engulf you. It was easy to become adrift with the sensations, but the threat of his receding fingers pushed you to speak.

“I value it. I value it so much—” He pressed harder, maybe to break you, and you moaned, bucking your hips to both alleviate and intensify the feeling.

He hummed, “Maybe.”

You didn’t answer because you could feel the switch in his tone. It had happened before, in other encounters you two had, and it lit up a secret flame inside you. His free hand groped the swell of your ass, squeezing it roughly as you burned from his touch, his eyes, and his ministrations. You had noticed it before and you suspected it was the reason you got away with it — he wanted you. You couldn’t quite pin down why it was that he didn’t turn his back on you or that he gave you what you wanted each time, but you had the theory that he wanted it just as much. That somehow, you did something for him too. You didn’t know if it was because he got a bit of your soul every time, because you were bratty, or just because he wanted to fuck you, but you enjoyed it either way.

You let a pleasure wave shake you as you bit on your lower lip; his fingers stretching you, pressing squelching sounds out of you could only mean he was preparing you, and the thought alone melted you. That was until his fingers twisted inside you and you felt something change on the outside and press your puckered hole.

You whimpered, both wanting whatever would come next and bordering overstimulation when his thumb pressed and got in. You immediately tightened as much as possible on a reflex and he actively bypassed your efforts by pushing in roughly. His thumb settled inside up to the node all while his other fingers curled and pressed on your walls, making you jolt. You wiggled, wanting to escape only for him to slide in and out with every movement. He ended up deeper than before and you cried out with the pressure sparking pleasure that had you throbbing in a vicious cycle.

Your eyes were shut and your nerve endings were on fire as your body utterly relaxed under his touch, “Please.”

You didn’t know what you were asking for, if anything for him to continue, maybe for him to even ruin you. And as always, he seemed to read your mind.

You felt something wet and cold drip down on your ass, going around his finger only for him to take it and press it in. The sensation unnerved you and had you jolting forward despite the odd angle on your neck, but he didn’t let you go far. He gripped your hair bun with his free hand and forced you to get on your forearms and fall back into him, and that drew a guttural moan out of you.

His thumb was all the way inside you, but the rest of his hand was replaced by his cock. It was the only thing that could push into you, stretch you so painfully well in its entirety until he was tucked to the hilt. You had tears in your eyes and whimpered when he swelled inside you, purposefully pressing to your cervix so you knew what would come. And you knew and still wanted it even if you’d cry the whole time. Though you suspected you wouldn't. It turned out you loved the sting and the way you felt full and relaxed under his touch.

You were so at ease you were spasming around his dick, sighing with his grip on your hair that was keeping your back taut, and maybe he didn’t like that. He let your hair go and you didn’t slack off, but he still smacked your ass so strongly it echoed in the room. It sparked a whiny moan as the pleasure shot through you, and again and again with every hit. Your hips swung to tease him, ask for more, ablate the sting, and feel him even deeper, and he kept going. He pushed you to euphoric levels as you fucked yourself on him; it was paradise.

“Is this what you wanted, kitten?”

A laugh bubbled out of you before you could think — yes, yes it was. But as you moaned and kept going, despite the respite from his slaps, you thought you could push him a little.

“Actually— I wanted a mirror as the head of the bed or— to cover the wall— right there, you see?”

You tried raising a finger and pointing at the wall above the headboard but it fell quickly. He had snapped his hips into you as if he wanted to push your soul out, imposing the rhythm he wanted. You fought the urge to curl onto yourself, so melted by the impact of every thrust, that you couldn’t find your form. Not until he pulled you by the hair to meet his thrusts viciously, pulling your head up simultaneously.

Your eyes crossed in the mirror in front of you and your senses jolted awake. The head of the bed was now just a mirror from the mattress to the ceiling letting you see everything: you on all fours with your tits bouncing with every plunge, your red asscheeks, your hair in a ball inside his fist, his other hand busy with what you guessed was a full thumb inside your asshole, him fully clothed in black, snapping his hips to your hips to drive you nuts, and finally his eyes.

His dark piercing eyes locked with yours and they caught your insides on fire. You weren’t just a secretary he was fucking senseless, you were so much less. You were not worth getting his clothes off for, nor had a worthwhile touch. You were a body with a set of holes that he wanted to use, to make gush, and it twisted your guts, the wet sounds superposing almost to the slap of his hips. The hunger inside you to become more while knowing that he was fucking you because he wanted to use you, no matter how worthless you were, almost drew you to your peak but you waited. You waited, with eyes never parting from his through the mirror, for him to deny it, enforce it, or do something.

Yet all he did was feed into that perversity, “Fucking greedy cunt.”

You clenched and you could have laughed if he wasn’t so deep inside you, stretching you to the point you couldn’t articulate, let alone react. Whether he was calling you a cunt or saying your core was greedy for his cock, you loved it — both were true.

You arched your back even more for him, needing to feel him kissing your sensitive cervix. It shook you with the sting of every poke, but then you stopped breathing. You stood still, letting him rut into you. He fucked you, not desperately, but without hesitation, with sweat dripping down his neck as his Adam's apple bobbed. He used you and abused you but he was right there for you.

You whimpered and got your hand to rub your clit as soon as possible before that wave could wane, and it crashed. You cried your pleasure as if you had to proclaim it to the world, with a particular pitch to account for the stinging, only to feel his hips stuttering. Your eyes shot open so you could see his squinting, focused on himself disappearing between your ass cheeks until he shot his load inside you with a groan.

Your lips curved in a smile, pleased with the way you milked him right. You sighed, letting your face hit the mattress with the relaxation finally settling, even as his cum started to drip down your thighs.

You felt him move a little but didn’t bother thinking about it. Only when something touched your lips did you open your eyes quizically. His fingers were wet with a white fluid and you stuck your tongue out immediately, inviting him inside your mouth.

You moaned and clenched around his cock and thumb still inside you. The taste of your cums together was a unique type of drug that left you breathless and stupid on the spot. You suckled on his fingers, moaning the dopamine discharge lighting up your brain until he pulled away, and you whimpered. But not too much; you sighed to yourself. He’d keep on feeding you that unique blend — you trusted him.

“Was that all you wanted?”

You chuckled, “No.”

He cursed and rolled over; in a flash, you were lying with your back over his chest. Your ass was stretched and would slowly shrink back to normal, but his hard dick was still inside you. You chuckled as he heaved a deep breath, crossing his arms behind his head. You didn’t move a muscle.

“What is it this time?”

You pressed your lips, “Well, I was thinking about… an exotic place. An untamed, brimming with energy place. With a creek. You could get it for me.” He was silent behind you but you could feel him breathing. You chuckled, “Bonus points if it comes with a monastery full of monks.”

You jolted with the piercing pain of him pinching your nipples. You reached for his hands to incentivize him to loosen the squeeze, but he didn’t let up at all.

“Why would you need that?”

His voice was rougher and you imagined there was a hint of annoyance with your suggestion. You laughed quietly and he pinched harder, making a cold torrent tase you from head to toe. You held on to his wrists and pressed your heels to the mattress, but otherwise stayed absolutely still.

“For my meditation and healing.”

“You have money; just buy a place like that.”

“Can you imagine how long that will take? It took centuries with the jet, imagine in a foreign place like that?” You were pouting, “You can do that for me.”

One hand of his let go and you sighed and squirmed, thinking he was warming up to you. Only said hand wrapped around your throat, jolting you to press even more into him. You were even more vulnerable.

“Thought you said you valued your time.”

“And I do,” you rasped, heart beating with adrenaline. Your core throbbed around him in reaction, and you closed your eyes. He was so hard inside you. The way he was keeping you from riding him was such an unspeakable waste. “Can’t you tell?”

You tried rolling your hips and he pulled you by the neck harder, stretching you til your vertebrae popped. His hand pinched around your tits before he sank his teeth into your neck, making you writhe and moan uncontrollably. You were at the edge again, overwhelmed, unable to relax and release unless he guided you there.

He started moving and you sighed, fusing back into him without a trace of resistance. He had parted his legs and taken support on the mattress to swing his hips to fuck you slowly, stealing your breath away. You could only stay in place, whimpering and crying out your delight as he used you to his liking.

Even as he sped up, turning your insides to mush, you were still curious. Your wetness and his cum were dripping down your ass and you were burning with the lack of oxygen. The way his teeth were sinking into your skin had you gritting your teeth, and bliss was a moment away. But you wanted to feel it for yourself.

You let go of his wrist and traced down your body all the way to your core, touching lightly around your entrance only to quiver. Fuck, was he big and hard, no wonder you were burning so finely under his stretch. You moaned, both from the feeling of him pistoning inside you and the wet thick length brushing your fingers to use you, until his hand caught your attention. His fingers sank under your jawline just a bit to coax you to look up, and you gasped.

Above you, the ceiling had become a mirror and the view was breathtaking. Your sweaty and abused body was red and glowing, but what destroyed you was him. The sight of his cock ramming into your messy folds, glistening with every stab, and of his dark eyes set on you as he bit down your neck, not letting go of you, pushing you to your finish line.

He saw it and acted on it, and you thought maybe it was the plan all along. The hand squeezing your nipple was over your clit in a second, rubbing it perfectly and with every thrust a little more, until he let the blood flood through your brain again. You burst like a firework, arching even more into him. His teeth sank deeper, as did his cock, and his fingers kept you cumming. You trashed your legs, seeing white with such bliss, unable to come down for a while.

By then, he was licking your neck, stuffed inside you to keep his cum in while he took whiffs of your sugary white raspberry scent. You could have mentioned it or thought about it, but the lethargy spreading across your body didn’t let you.

You were ready to fall asleep when he moved to have you look up at him. He was sweaty and beautiful, with an intense gaze that gave you goosebumps. His eyebrow twitched and you sighed.

“I take it back.”

Your eyes were heavy so you didn’t catch the curve on the corner of his lips, “Good girl.”

Your haze was imposing but something perked your attention, making it impossible to fade into unconsciousness. His arms were keeping you above him, and he wasn’t leaving. You were normally too exhausted to even think and would wake up in to empty room, so you didn’t know what happened immediately after. You always assumed he just vanished without glancing twice but he was still there this time, with his arms around you.

You didn’t want to miss the opportunity. You sighed, “How did you… end up like this?” You were mumbling, fighting sleep. He stayed quiet and immobile, but you could hear him breathe near your forehead. “Were you… born one?”

You finally felt him shifting a bit under you, though his arms stayed firm, keeping you in place. “One?”

Your lips trembled before you whispered, “Demon.”

You were fearful but he chuckled, “I was born one; we all are. Reborn one,” he admitted and you furrowed your brow ever so slightly despite your closed eyes.

“How?” You breathed. It could be a dream.

“How…”

You didn’t dare open your eyes and break that spell; you imagined he was thinking, his mind wandering off.

“I made a deal, same as you, a long time ago.”

“How long ago?”

“I don’t know,” he smirked and shrugged. “Time has different meanings in different places.”

“Sounds interesting,” you cooed before nibbling on your lip. Your heart was beating fast with the thrill of that simple exchange.

It shook even more with his quiet laugh near your ear, “That’s because you’re ignoring the obvious.” His voice lost humour and you could imagine the detached eyes looking down at you. “None of this is good.”

You opened your eyes instantly, eager to catch that spark before it could vanish. His sharp eyes were set on yours and you almost wavered, but he had you. He was showing and saying more than ever before and for the first time in months it felt like you could have a conversation.

“How can it not be good,” you whispered, eyeing the straight line of his lips. “When it helped me so much?”

The line showed apprehension, “Are you sure it did?”

You almost scoffed, “Absolutely certain. No one has ever been so kind to me.”

“This isn’t kindness.”

You started laughing, despite your best efforts. Even though his demeanor screamed severity and his eyes showed sternness, you just couldn’t help yourself. Your laugh wasn’t mocking, it was almost jolly.

You cuddled more into his embrace, “It is. What? You’re toying with me? Of course you are, everyone is,” you shrugged, pulling his arms more around you. “It’s all everyone has ever done. Toy and use. You’re no different, but you are.” You paused, trying to put into words the nuance you had experienced only with him. “‘Cause at least you give me something in return. You’re the only one that has ever given me something in return.”

Your eyes lowered with the scattered recollections of what you had once sought to forget, but quickly they were back up. Your heart shook with what they found — there was a hint of emotion on an otherwise objective and unphased marble expression. At that moment, you were certain that your connection was not imagined.

“What was your deal?”

He didn’t even blink but you stayed put, still calm and relaxed, not just from your previous activities, but also because you were still together.

“What did you sell your soul for?”

Your insistence tipped the scales somehow because he sighed, “A way out. A way to leave and live out my dreams.”

Your eyebrows twitched curiously, “Did it work?”

He smirked and you finally saw a trace of emotions behind his eyes, “Yeah, but not really. That’s why details matter.”

Come now, kitten.

His entrancing voice still enchanted your spirit to this day. You nodded, “You didn’t know what you wanted and just said a way out?”

“I knew what I wanted,” he said, shifting under you but not with discomfort. He sounded assertive and you had a hunch that he was proud of himself. Your eyebrows twitched quizzically and he continued, “I wanted to be a musician, but I didn’t know what that meant.”

Your expression soured as your eyes lowered and you gave him a detached nod.

Your mind was about to pull you into the very dread you had been running from for years when he said, “It was my fault.”

You frowned, looking for the reason why he was telling you this.

The subtlest line sunk between his eyebrows, “I let myself go down that road. Others might have pushed or joined me along, but it was my life. My decision.”

You wondered then for the first time, with seriousness, if he could read your mind. Could he know your secrets? What you had been through? What you once dreamed and how it had all turned to shambles?

You pursed your lips, denying that idea. No matter how well he fucked you, that was probably impossible. Besides, it wasn’t your fault. What had happened to you, regardless of your stupidity, was not your fault. Whatever he was talking about, it was certainly only about himself.

Which made you wonder, “Is that why you keep telling me to figure myself out?”

He didn’t answer, he only clenched his jaw.

You sighed as you glanced up at the ceiling from your black silked bed. You were feeling down today and not even peeking up cheered you up. The mirrors were gone, sadly, so you could only remember how good it had been to feel him and talk to him right there, on your bed.

It had been months since you last asked for him; way more than you would have liked. It was your own doing, however. You were the one who decided to not call him so soon and actually try to do something with yourself. It turned out that it was easier said than done. There was only one thing your soul ever sought doing and you avoided it like the devil would a cross. Because of this, you were aimless and the temptation to feed your mind something else so you’d stop ruminating on old thoughts and pains was becoming hard to resist.

You missed the validation. You thought of your parents and the very little they had done for you in that regard, and it irritated you. They were something else you should avoid thinking at all costs for your well-being, and yet now that they popped up, you were annoyed. And since you couldn’t and wouldn’t ever get their validation, you thought of the one you did get.

Without words, just demonstrations — he had always shown up for you. He disagreed with your lifestyle and thought your wishes were futile and shallow, but still showed up every time. The last time had been the closest you had felt to being cared for, even though your storylines didn’t match completely. But they didn’t have to — he showed it in the way that he cared enough to prevent you from losing yet another piece of your soul. And you needed to feel that again.

You brushed your bracelets and heard a voice before your fingers lost contact, “Really?”

You sat up with giddiness, as if he had just surprised you, then got up and across the bedroom to reach him.

“What could you possibly want this time?”

There was a hint of exasperation but it didn’t phase you, “Is this really you?” You were inquisitive as you neared him, eying him from top to bottom. His typical black suit always made him look refined and now his hair was a bit longer, kept tucked behind his pierced ears. “Or is this something you show to me? Like a mask?”

You stopped in front of him and he chuckled, “Does it bother you?”

“Fuck no,” you scoffed. What kind of question was that? “It pleases me a lot. Hence, why I’d like it to be real.”

“This is the real me. I can change it but,” he shrugged and you raised your hands to cup his cheeks.

“Don’t change it, I fucking adore it.”

You pressed your lips to his and thought nothing of the way he took a second to kiss you back. It had happened before and you were just too eager to think twice. Just seeing him awakened you, talking sparked your interest, and brushing your lips together shot you up into the clouds. His taste inebriated you and the more his tongue pressed the exchange, the more the desire lit up inside you.

You buried your fingers in his hair and he reciprocated, pressing you close until your feet stopped touching the ground. He carried you back toward the bed and you sighed into his kiss — validated a hundred times over.

So when your calves touched the bed, you broke the kiss and gave him one look before switching places with him. You fell to your knees and searched for the black trousers’ zipper and bit your lip when you found it. Despite previous failed attempts at taking charge, you were pleased that he was letting you get on with it, feeding that flame within you.

You could have made it hot and slow by undressing him, pumping him softly until you closed your grip, licking softly around his sensitive balls, and maybe even nibbling on his thighs before flicking your tongue up his shaft and suckling on the tip. But you couldn’t be bothered to play it slowly when you had nearly obsessed about what he would taste like without your cum’s interference. He liked to give you that particular taste, like a last high before you fell asleep, but you had wondered how it would be if it was just him. And now you were about to find out.

You were happily getting his hard dick out and watering at the sight with your tongue sticking out when a strong grip by your hair roots stilled you in place. You looked up, batting your eyelashes innocently and quizically only to notice a hint of annoyance pulling his lip. You didn’t wonder if he wanted to stop — you knew he liked being with you and enjoyed your times together. Whatever it was, it was preventing you both from finding enjoyment in each other and you didn’t want that.

You gave him a nod and a smile, hoping he could read in your eyes how much you wanted this. You didn’t want to just fuck this time around. It wasn’t even just about learning his taste, it was so much more than that.

He released the grip on your hair and you knew that he was, as always, letting you do what you wanted. It was frankly refreshing. You set your eyes on his furiously red cock pointing at your face and nodded to yourself. For all the demon talk and lore you found online, one of the things that seemed real was that he was always honest with you. He never forced you into things, if anything he even pushed you to do better and have better. It just made you burn inside and want to give him everything even more.

And today that meant pressing your lips to the tip of his cock right before you let the hot plush skin part your mouth into an o. You knew, as you lowered your head, that you’d never take him fully. You didn’t even think you could get too much in without choking too soon because of how thick he was. But none of that was an issue for quite a few reasons: you were going to enjoy yourself and do whatever you liked, you’d look and feel hot doing it, you’d make him feel good partially just on those simple truths, and finally, he could always just use you.

You moaned with his cock sliding inside your mouth at the pace of your choosing and his grip around your hair tightened. Your tongue lapped at his tip, searching for his taste and having no qualms about getting it out of him with a bit of pressure. Your hallowed cheeks created a vacuum for just a second, yet he groaned and you tried again. His taste hit you with the force of a thousand flavors and your mouth slacked. You moaned deeply, your mind floored and overwhelmed with the sweet richness searing into your taste buds, and you drooled. Your spit was flowing down his shaft, dripping down his balls in a testament to how far gone you were. Until his nails sank into your scalp and he groaned.

That was when you tauted your lips again and decided that if his precum was a nectar, then his cum would be like an elixir from the gods and you had to have it. You cupped and caressed his balls as you got accustomed to his girth stretching your lips, tentatively sliding up and down to see how he’d react.

You were clenching around nothing, lewdly drooling and moaning over his cock as if you had reached an oasis, but his groans got to you. They sent shivers down your spine and puckered your skin down your nape as he gripped your hair tighter without ever forcing your head. It made you only want to work harder and as you got ready with a deep breath, instantly the musky scent added to the sweetness in your mouth. It lit up your brain like a Christmas tree, twinkling with every drop of precum dissolving on your tongue, and you whimpered.

After that, things became messy. Your hands favored his round asscheeks to press him closer as you sought to have as much of him as possible. You pressed him in so hard, trying to swallow him whole, but that just wouldn’t be possible. Even then, you angled your head better, slid lower, and took him deeper, again and again with masterful control of your breath and his thrusts.

At first, you wanted to please him, but the more the idea of him using you resurged, the more you found yourself hoping he’d grip you and fuck your throat numb. You had no idea where all that unrestrained hunger came from but you weren’t sure you had ever been like that with anyone else. With him, your emotions were raw while he reached within you deeply, poking a nerve that you didn’t think anyone had access to. You craved his unrestrained care and attention, even if it bled, because at least he would come back for you. He’d hold you to sleep and come back every time.

You looked up with watering eyes to find him looking at you. His gaze was intense, completely focused on you with his lips slightly parted. A thin shin of sweat was making his forehead and neck glisten and it tightened you up even more. You wanted that m— that demon, or whatever he was. You didn’t care if you’d burn in hell for it — it was worth it to feel alive and real.

You whimpered and pressed him into your face harder and wished with your whole soul that he knew what you wanted. His nails grazing your skin made you look up and you blinked at him almost pleadingly. A low growl passed through his gritted teeth and a moment later you saw white.

You knew pain didn’t work for you the same way as it did for others, especially when sex was involved. You also knew because of him that lack of oxygen was a powerful catalyst for you and that most importantly, you were safe with him. You could have wondered why but it never occurred to you, the same way there was no point in questioning why water is wet and the sunlight is yellow. All you knew was that you were safe to feel the sting, the roughness, his scent mixed with the sweat and sheer sex aroma all around you, the sweetness of his precum mixed with the salt of your tears, everything in a whirlwind that swept you off your feet, beyond getting you to your knees. And when he finally came, it propelled you into bliss.

You moaned around him, trying to swallow every drop of his release as though you were a woman starved for a week. The more you quaffed, the more you craved, drinking until you almost choked. He pulled you back by the hair to release his cock and beyond his cum trickling down your chin, you realized you were moaning. Your mind was lit up like a billboard sign and it took you a beat to recognize that you were spasming around nothing, worn out on both ends from his release and yours.

You were taking deep breaths to rebalance yourself when they somehow became shaky. He pulled you up by the hands and you did as instructed, unable to control the trembles and sobs now shaking you.

He observed you, sliding his hands on the sides of your neck under your long strands of hair only to grab you there and press his fingers into your skin. It felt surprisingly soothing and tears started flowing from your eyes. You could only stare at him, without a thought that could justify this until he leaned in to kiss you. Then your breath hiccuped and you squeezed your eyes shut, letting the tears fall with that deep emotion. He could probably taste himself in your mouth, his cum was still on your chin, and yet he licked your lips and pushed inside your mouth without reservations. His lack of hesitation shook you and had you reaching to grab him close. You felt as though you were a ball of wool of which he had finally found the loose thread, only to pull it and watch it unravel.

You didn’t stop crying, however, despite not realizing exactly why. You were ready to clean your face and step away, but as soon as your mouths parted, he was already sweeping you off your feet. You were in no condition to complain so all you did was hold on to his neck and let him carry you.

He had been there so many times but never to your ensuite bathroom. Still, he acted like he had been there a thousand times. He started the water to fill your bathtub with one hand before setting your feet down on the floor. He gently took your silk pajamas off as the water slowly pooled in your big tub. You watched him and let him, seeing him brush the strips down your arms and pull your shorts along with it. Your nudity didn’t bother you or him as he made sure to put everything away before he grabbed you once more and gently laid you inside the rising bath.

You didn’t let go of his hand, your heart was scared of him abandoning you. Instantly, you recognized that maybe that wasn’t the best course of action, but he surprised you. He crouched to your eye level and squeezed your hand, and you settled. You trusted him — that was the absolute truth.

You leaned back and let the warm water envelop you as he reached to grab oils and petals from the nearby counter. Your eyes were becoming heavy with the lull of the perfumes and dripping water, and when you opened them again, he was getting naked. Despite your lethargy, your heart still jumped at the sight and the implication. He did it slowly, or maybe your mind was just sluggish. You wondered why he didn’t just snap his fingers to get naked, but then you almost chuckled at the silliness of your thoughts.

The bathtub was big and could even fit three people if needed. You didn’t mind sharing it and didn’t expect what he did next — he reached around you and hugged you to him. Your last sob exited your lips then, only soothing deep breaths following suit. You were safe and you finally drifted asleep.

You inhaled a sharp breath when you woke up, startled to be immersed in water only to look up to your side with a dropped chin. He was still there, his arms keeping you firmly in place against his soft chest under your ear. He glanced at you, with your glistening sleepy eyes and puffy cheeks.

Then he raised a hand and rubbed your chin.

You blushed, still dazed not only by your nap, but by the whole situation. Was he wiping drool off your chin?

“You never told me what it was that you needed.”

His voice rasped quietly, yet your heart picked it up as if he had screamed it atop his lungs. It shook you unbearably, adding to your flushing cheeks that you pressed hastily. Water splashed lightly on your heated face and you swallowed. You never told him because… there was nothing you wanted. You only wanted to see him and be with him.

Shit.

You couldn’t possibly tell him that.

“I… wanted… a new phone,” you said slowly before chuckling and rubbing your face a bit more.

“A phone?”

His tone was dry but you were too busy making up something to notice, “Yeah, Apple has this new upcoming—”

He got up from the water, the sudden splashing cutting you off as you watched him go. The corners of your lips pulled; you couldn’t hide the sadness — you hadn’t even enjoyed that moment properly.

He gripped his hair for a second before facing you, “Why can’t you see further than this junk?”

You frowned, a bit confused, “What junk?”

“All of it,” he almost hissed, disgust clear on his features. “A jet, a building, money— I get it. You need comfort, sure, but a phone? Fuck! Why are you wasting your life away on junk?”

As he talked, you sat up straight until your lips pulled in a scowl, “Waste? Yeah, right.”

You got up, ignoring the dizziness, and stepped out carefully to reach for a towel. His eyes were so intense they could have been marking you like a branding iron.

You couldn’t have imagined how furious you were making him, “Yes, waste! You have time. Don’t you want to do something with it?”

You wrapped yourself in a towel and laughed, “Not all of us are meant to amount to something.”

He snickered, “Is that right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, not all of you have everything money can buy, safety, and health,” he pointed out gravely and you raised your chin.

“It doesn't matter.”

“No?” He sneered.

“No,” you said, dryly and confidently. “When you’re proud of nothing, attached to nothing, and have no meaning… you lose purpose.”

His expression softened for the first time and you looked away. You were not afraid to tell him what you felt deep down, but you were conscious about him seeing your demons. By the look on his face, you wondered if he had all along.

“You have things you’re passionate about,” he voiced simply, all anger gone.

Your mouth filled with bile, “No. I tried,” you admitted bitterly, crossing your arms over your chest. “It was maybe the only thing I tried doing for myself aside from summoning you. My parents didn’t approve. A music career is not exactly at the level of an Ivy League degree,” you smirked, shaking your head at the memory of that fight. “I thought I could prove them wrong. I thought I could become a big shot, with or without their support. I couldn't.”

You stopped talking; a huge lump in your throat was filling your eyes with tears. The memories you would like to forget were resurfacing and you hugged yourself. You could have asked for him to take them away… but you didn’t.

“They hurt you.”

You looked at him and your eyes filled to the brim. Yet you chuckled, “Isn’t that what everyone does? Use and abuse?” You rubbed your face harshly before you could break, “Isn’t that what you experienced as well?”

“Yes, but that was not what ruined me.”

You overlooked the surprise at the fact that he answered you and that you were even having this conversation. “What was?”

“Drugs and alcohol.”

You chuckled and nodded; those had been your escape and they certainly made you pliable, stupid, and vulnerable.

“But you… You’ve given up before trying.”

His voice was the gentlest you had ever heard from him but you still frowned, “I tried.”

Your anguish was threatening to asphyxiate you, but he added, “And gave up.”

You grimaced, you couldn’t breathe, “You have no idea—”

A sob cut you off and you trembled with the unspoken agitation repressed deep inside you.

He nodded, “I know. I know it broke you, but don’t let it. You’re not defined by how a few assholes treated you in the past. You’re more than other’s opinions, more than a period you’re not proud of, more than any addiction.”

You gritted your teeth so hard as he spoke that they clicked, “How would you know that?”

“You sold your soul to me,” he said calmly, eyeing your trembling figure knowingly. “What do you think I bought?”

You quivered under his gaze and wiped your cheek off the runaway tears. Beyond the turmoil that topic created inside you, you were aware of what he was saying. Aware that he knew you inside and out, that he would own you, and that he wouldn’t have this conversation if he didn’t see more for you. But you couldn’t have hope, you couldn’t believe it. It would shatter you if you did and you weren’t ready — you had just found such a precarious balance. You couldn’t unravel and let it all go to waste.

“If not a phone, then I have another request,” your voice cracked but in a second your eyes were void of emotion as your features stiffened. You couldn’t grasp how far he could see inside you, or how much he knew you, but as he straightened his shoulders, you assumed it was a lot. He knew of your nightmares extensively, so when the thought came to your mind, he knew you meant it. His cold eyes told you he knew what it was before you opened your mouth, “I want my parents to suffer.”

As soon as you said it, anger shook your balling fists. You let yourself blame them, hate them for your circumstances, for your story, for your pain. You never asked to be born. Was it so hard to support their only daughter in this hell of a world? If they had been there—

“Destroy their estate.” You said with a stiff jaw, remembering the number of times they had chosen work over you. Every time you had gone to them to be dismissed, every time you tried voicing a dream and were laughed at, and every time after that they just let you do shit freely. “It’s time they lose the only thing they care about.”

“They care about you.”

“They threw me away,” you countered with venomous eyes.

“Maybe they didn’t expect you to summon a demon and have all of your problems swept away…” he leaned back against the sink; his air of nonchalance didn’t soothe you one bit.

You were already triggered, “They didn’t expect it?” A sardonic laugh passed your lips, “Sure, I guess they didn’t. So isn’t it weird they didn’t contact me all this time?”

“Maybe they don’t know how to.”

“They just have to fucking google my name!” You exploded, throwing your fists in the air. “They don’t do it because they don’t care!”

“Or maybe because you wouldn’t welcome them.”

Your fists fell numb beside your legs and you eyed him with bloodshot eyes. He was a demon; maybe this was part of the torture. “I wouldn’t, but it shouldn’t matter. You think they should only reach out on the premise they can be white knights and save my pathetic life? No. Caring about someone is—” Your voice shook, realizing what you were about to say to the very demon that taught you that. He waited for you to finish speaking your mind. “Letting them live on their own terms. Helping them go through it, maybe preventing them from making some shitty decisions, but sticking by them regardless because—”

Tears streamed down your face and you had to turn around. You couldn’t say those things to his face, you were afraid he’d see through you. See who you were thinking about.

You sniffled and wiped your face before turning again, “They should care. Whether I’m fucked, alive or dead, they should fucking care and they don’t.”

He took a second to consider what you said, or maybe he was just giving you time to calm down. “Caring isn’t only shown by reaching out. People make mistakes in trying to demonstrate their feelings, especially when they’re hurt and desperate.”

His dark eyes were piercing you to your soul and your tears overflowed again. You smirked for a moment before hiding your face to clean them again. This bastard was not going to make it any easier for you.

“They had my whole life to show they cared. Instead, they left me alone.”

“Why were you alone?”

You blinked your heavy and wet lashes with the memory of being shooed away. Your mother was lying on a bed with lines attached to her and with people in white coats all around her.

“My mom was sick for a long time,” you remembered. “She… she couldn’t have more children.”

You looked down; your stupidity echoed behind your eyelids.

Maybe you should have had more kids.

You heaved a deep breath and rubbed your eyes. What a dick you were. It didn’t matter that you were high, you were such an asshole. They had been bastards too for staying absent your whole life, and you guessed the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Maybe more kids would have meant you wouldn't be the only one screwed up. You chuckled, that might have been better.

You looked up at him and wondered if things could have been different. If you had summoned him earlier, you could have wished for your mother to be healthy. Maybe that would have changed everything.

His impenetrable eyes didn’t blink once while you considered all this, and you looked down again. You wouldn’t have ever been at a crossroads selling your soul if things hadn’t gotten so shitty. There was nothing you could do about that now.

“Not their entire estate. Just— A branch of the family business.”

“It will cost you.”

You nodded, “It should.”

He sighed, “I’ll see what I can do.”

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lettersfromaphrodite · 1 year

Text

[17.49]

― pairing : Chris x fem! reader ― content warnings : smut, fluff, gamer au, drabble, mentions to overwatch, explicit language, oral sex (f recieving), unprotected sex, established relationship ― word count : 2.099

― notes : this fic looks familiar?it is! I’m reposting ALL my works on this brand new blog and therefore please, bear with me! as always, askbox is always open and feedbacks are always welcome 💌

«Hurry up, Chris.» you whined to yourself as you were wearing your headphones and adjusting the microphone in front of you; streaming videogames was one of your favourite hobbies and you managed to stream a couple of hours a day as soon as you got home from work.

Honestly, you were more than thankful to your boyfriend, Chris, offering you to be the admin of your gaming channel and therefore, sitting next to you during all your streams. Despite the fact that you started constantly streaming more than six months ago, the fact that an unknown number of people was watching and sometimes judging your gaming skills was enough to make you nervous and slightly worsen your aim.

Chris shared the same passion as you did, and your gaming set up included two almost identical gaming postation and therefore, this meant that not only he could sit next to you, but also monitor the viewers’ comment just in case someone was disrespectful enough to be banned. It was undeniable that you found his presence soothing; he would place a hand on your thigh to signal that the live had started - since you couldn’t see the live delay for yourself and, as soon as it was finished, he would kiss you while praising you with a wide and sincere smile, saying you did great.

Somehow, Chris managed to make everything seem less intimidating, and you were genuinely thankful for his daily presence in your life.

«What if I mess up and try to counter Winston with Genji?» you left yourself sink into the chair, re-adjusting your pyjama shorts – you honestly didn’t bother to dress up nicely beside your shirt, as you heard a light chuckle coming from next to you.

«Prepare yourself to be banned by the whole community of gamers.» Chris answered with a playful smile as he put on his headphones as well; you groaned to yourself, making him laugh at your reaction.

«Come here, sunshine, let me give you a good luck kiss.» Chris pulled your chair to his, and you immediately leaned in to peck his lips in a quick but soft manner; you sighed, feeling content with your boyfriend’s constant display of attention. However, Chris felt like he wanted more, and he wasn’t sure he could wait for your streaming to end.

«Hi, everyone!» you said as soon as Chris placed his hand on your thigh, staring into the camera with a bright smile on your face, «So many games came out this week, but I didn’t know what to stream! I guess for today we’ll settle for some quick plays on Overwatch until I decide what to actually buy.» you laughed, blushing a bit.

The stream started smoothly, you would miss some kills due to your nervousness, but Chris gently patting your leg or your elbow anytime you died helped yourself not to feel too frustrated about it.

«I know you’re about to come for my head,» you joked, focused on changing your character, «but I’m going to try walking this path again, this time with a sniper, because don’t we all love a bit of thrill.» you said, leading your character on the route where you died in silly ways at least four times, completely unaware about Chris’ sudden mischievous smirk.

Eventually, you felt Chris’ hand on your thigh; you glanced at him, just to see if anything was wrong or people were really spamming the comment section because “playing a sniper on Nepal’s control map is just unacceptable”, but he simply shook your head, showing you a playful and innocent smile.

The more the game went on, the more you tried not to focus on the fact that Chris’ hand was slowly inching higher on your thigh, making your skin immediately feel warm at the contact; you could feel his eyes fixed on you rather than the screen, and anytime you glanced at him, he’d squeeze your thigh and shook his head in a silent signal that everything was okay.

Chris’ hand was dangerously close to the hem of your loose pyjama shorts, he knew it, but he couldn’t stop himself from the desire to touch you; Chris was perfectly aware about the fact that you tensed up, and he was also perfectly aware that you were sensitive, but he wanted to have a little bit of fun.

As you felt Chris’ thumb stroke your thigh while applying a slight pressure every now and then, you knew it was not unintentional; your eyes widened, noticing what your boyfriend was up to. Your leg accidentally twitched, causing Chris’ hand to slide a little bit higher; you sent him a panicked look, but your boyfriend answered with a wink and a playful smile.

Only then, you understood how mischievous Chris looked in that very moment: messy hair in which he kept running his hands, and his pyjama shirt slightly unbuttoned; this small distraction caused you to die once again, the loud noise of an enemy’s special attack startling you and inevitably drawing your attention back to the game.

“Okay love,” you thought, “two can play this game” you jolted, trying to keep a neutral expression as you felt his Chris’ hold tighten on your inner thigh, hoping that he wouldn’t try anything in front of 900 viewers. Once again, you were perfectly aware about the microphone only few inches from your mouth, recording perfectly every hitch of your breath anytime Chris dared some bolder move as massaging his thigh.

You knew that at this point, the views probably dropped, since you couldn’t focus due to the growing wetness in your pants. “This is surreal,” you thought trying to chase an enemy player, “I can’t get turned on from this,” you managed to counter his attack and proceed straight to the point yet to conquer. All the hopes you held were short lived, as soon as you felt Chris’ hand taking advantage of the fact that your legs were spreaded – damn you and your habit of sitting in weird ways, just to place the palm of his hand directly on your wetness; your leg twitched and your knee accidentally slammed under the desk.

«Shit!» you exclaimed, «Sorry everyone, I kinda got startled by Genji screaming in my ear.» you lied, fully aware of the blush entirely covering from your face to your neck.

As you sent Chris another panicked look, your breath slightly quickened and your heart was hammering in your chest so loudly that you could confuse it for a game sound effect; Chris, however, simply winked you once again, his hold tight and unwavering. Luck was on your side, because as soon as you felt Chris’ hand sliding inside your shorts, the match also ended.

«Okay, today live ends here!» you announced, not planning to end it so soon, but you certainly couldn’t keep streaming when Chris was teasing you like that in front of everyone.

«Thanks everyone for following me today, see you in two days, same time! Bye!» you smiled cheerfully trying to ignore Chris slightly palming his growing erection with his head thrown on the chair, before turning everything off: live, webcam, microphone.

«Okay love, we can log out, and also» you whispered taking off your headphones, «what the hell was that for?» Having gotten what he was aiming for, Chris’s mouth was now stretched into a full grin and his attention directed completely towards you; his hand was still between your legs, but now he was applying more pressure to it, knowing well the effect it had on you.

«Your fans are absolutely right, sunshine,» he said, removing his hand from you for a brief moment, enough for him to stand up and balance himself on the armrests of your chair, pinning you against it and leaning towards you, «You look absolutely gorgeous today, I couldn’t wait to have you all for myself.» Chris’ lips inched towards you with a slow pace, and you waited for him to kiss you with parted lips and a hammering heart, anticipating the moment; as soon as your lips were few millimetres apart, he suddenly tilted his head, his lips busy tracing abstract patterns on your neck as he gently spreaded your legs using his.

«Are you sure you turned everything off?» Chris asked, sitting between your spreader legs and caressing your inner thighs in a rough manner, his fingertips toying with the elastic band of your pyjama; you glanced at the screen with a panicked look, and nodded as soon as you saw that you were completely offline.

As soon as Chris saw your affirmative response, he slid both your shorts and your underwear off your legs, licking his lips with a victorious smile at the sight of you already on the verge to fall apart when he still didn’t do anything. Chris knew the effect he had on you, and he loved to take advantage of it; wearing rings on his hands, bracelets, it was not casual, they were simple details which would focus your attention to certain places and he loved seeing you getting flustered because of it. Especially, he loved when he could feel your body shiver as a reaction to the cold metal of his rings encountering your hot skin.

«Chris!» you whined, as you felt his lips attaching on your clit and eagerly sucking on it; your hands flew in his soft brown hair and he moaned against your wetness, eager to please you and to hear your moans in return, knowing that he was the cause of your bliss.

Chris wasted no time in teasing you, and immediately his tongue was occasionally alternating kitten licks to more rough movements, his tongue flat and spreading your wet folds already clenching around nothing thanks to the desire that rapidly built up inside you. Chris fingertips reached out, spreading your folds so that he could draw abstract shapes against it while using the tip of his tongue, making you whimper at the need of further contact.

However, by now, Chris knew your body language and purposely avoided to give you what you were silently asking for; you jolted forwards, feeling your legs shake as Chris experimentally moaned against your wetness, and since he was pleased with your reactions, he simply decided to add it as well to the mix.

Quickly, you reached out to unbutton your shirt, feeling like it was getting a bit too hot in the room to be so overdressed; you took the opportunity to push your wetness even more into Chris’ face, which in response sucked on it a little more eagerly at the sight of one of your hands playing with your nipple and your chest rising and fall in quick, uneven intakes of breaths.

«Fingers,» you whimpered, «I want your fingers.» you pulled his face closer to you by the hold you had on his hair; you were close, but you wanted to come at least around Chris’ thick fingers scissoring and curling inside you.

«You’ll take what I give you.» Chris’ voice was hoarse and husky, and he detached from you just enough to answer your plead, before starting once again to lap at your parted folds; choking on a whine, you nodded at Chris’ sudden rough behaviour, before glancing down, and finally noticing that Chris was also busy touching himself while pleasuring you.

The sight of his fist tightly wrapped around his length in quick and sharp movements – while the silver bracelet he always wore was dancing around his wrist, mixed to the feeling of his mouth stimulating you, made you rapidly approach your orgasm. Calling for Chris’ name as if it was a prayer, your body shook, your muscles quickly tensing up and relaxing in a rapid succession, and Chris never stopping his motions of eagerly sucking on your clit until you eventually started to tremble in overstimulation. You were sure that your wetness was dripping on your gaming chair, but your eyes were locked on Chris, which sat back with his cheeks flushed red, leaning his weight on his hands as his pyjama pants were loosely hanging around his thighs, his length still hard and obviously begging for attention and release.

«If we don’t fuck within the next minute I’ll go insane,» you panted, your legs still spreaded and the sensation of your orgasm still lingering on your body; Chris agreed, nodding few times, before quickly glancing behind himself.

«On my gaming chair?» Chris asked, rising his eyebrow at you.

«On your gaming chair.» you nodded immediately, and you both moved to stand up at the same time.

all works © lettersfromaphrodite

Do not modify, repost, translate or plagiarize my stories. I only publish my works on tumblr & AO3.

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cinberella · 6 days

Text

My Dandelion

“This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Reverse Bang 2024: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver.”

Credit for the art: @demy85

You can find the art here: Tumblr

Fic: Link to AO3

Prologue - 2nd September 2010 - somewhere on the Italian side of the Alps

Praying to God that one day you'll be mine, wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the the time (Ruth B. - Dandelions)

This isn't the first time Alec has lain down in the middle of a sunny clearing; well, it is not anything he has done all his life either. It is just one of the many new pastimes he has started to appreciate. Alec discovered this secluded meadow a couple of weeks back and now he likes to come here almost every day. Alone. He rests, in complete relaxation, sitting directly on the grass so that he can feel the power running deep underground, trying to connect with it. He has learned to perceive the ley lines streaming beneath his feet, wherever he is. His blood senses them. Even the amulets he wears around his neck - and both his wrists- react softly but soothingly to the lines. Alec comes here to seek a perfect communion with nature and the magic that permeates it. He does so in solitude - which is a rare condition for him nowadays since he is always surrounded by noisy, lively - bordering on wild - kids. So, even if he adores spending his time with the kids, Alec treasures his daily me-time, as brief as it can be. In fact, when he is alone in this peaceful place, he can think of the man who is and will always be in his heart. Inexplicably, thinking of Magnus is as much a solace as a torment. In any case, being outdoors, in the woods, and walking on little-traveled paths, is another simple pleasure he has started indulging himself with in recent times. A bitter-sweet pleasure. Sweet as the memories of the time he spent with Magnus, bitter as the awareness that that time is over now. He regrets nothing. Alec was so lucky to have found Magnus in the first place, right? Blessed, even. He wouldn’t be here if that day he had not gone to him, to his private residence seeking help. He was brave, wasn’t he? Well, somehow he knew Magnus would have helped him.

The Warlock is now thousands of miles away, at that same place in New York that Alec had called home for a while. God, Alec misses him so much. Magnus was his savior. And a wonderful mentor.

A friend, and a lover. Magnus showed him a new way, gave him a new life entirely. Alec learned over the days they spent together how resourceful, multi-talented, and eclectic the man was. Despite Alec being very different from the Warlock in every aspect of his personality they worked together in a perfect way, becoming joined at the hip in no time. In fact, Alec used to think of himself as a boring and bland guy - even if Magnus never agreed with that, always telling him how amazing and fun ( seriously ? fun ?) he was. The Warlock, instead, was one of a kind, wasn’t he?

It was impossible to get bored with him around. Magnus would take Alec on a shopping spree on 5th Avenue, proclaiming that he was in absolute need of new clothes - come on, darling, let’s get something a bit more colorful and soft, something to complement your pretty eyes and caress your skin of porcelain - and a couple of days later, he would surprise him with an impromptu visit to a Buddhist temple in Nepal - you see, Angel, I think some meditation could do you good, you need to center yourself, don’t you? They could even spend a whole night in a casino in Las Vegas gambling like crazy billionaires and uncaring of the other patrons glaring at them for Magnus’ impudent luck . Okay, it was obvious that the Warlock cheated, of course, he would do that, just pointless to deny it, but then he would end up giving all the winnings to charity so Alec never put too much effort into complaining about that. The morning after, after no more than three hours of sleeping in the fanciest hotel in the city, and a night of tender, slow sex, he would portal them to Italy for a fancy Chianti wine tasting at a small winery in Tuscany and a romantic dinner to follow.

What a wonderful, exciting life, right? So carefree and fun, unpredictable and a bit crazy. Alec had had more experiences and lived more intensely in the six months he spent with Magnus than in the twenty years he lived at the Institute before being kicked out of it for good.

Perks of living with and working for one of the most powerful Warlocks in the World. And of being friends with him.

Friends.

That is what they are still supposed to be. Alec wants to believe they are. Alec wants them to be friends so badly. Sure, they had been more than friends, but that phase was just that… a phase. It wasn’t meant to last forever. Alec needed to move on, to give a new meaning to his life, to do something good with it. Before he settled to resort to the High Warlock’s help, he had almost resigned himself to losing that same life he treasures so much today. He had come so close to finding comfort in the idea of dying.

Magnus changed Alec’s mind. He saved him, not with big words or vain promises, but by showing him every day what life could still have in store for him. That was the most fantastic gift Alec could have been given in his darkest hour.

Hope.

Alec smiles at himself. It is just incredible how deeply and drastically his life has changed! He went from slaying Demons for a living to working full time for an eccentric and unconventional Warlock - falling madly and desperately in love with him in the meantime - to eventually moving to Italy for a fresh start. Alec isn’t Magnus’ personal assistant anymore. Now he has another job here, a job he adores, truly, a job that brought him to settle in the mountains, in a setting so similar to Idris, and yet so different.

Here, he is helping the local High Warlock and her husband to run a small shelter for young Warlocks they opened in a little village on the border between Italy and Austria. Here, where the air is fresh and clean and the people are hard-working and reserved, Alec has the chance to be happy.

Admittedly, he gets along well with Carlotta and her husband Vito, a passionate and very loud man from Sicily, and loves taking care of the kids. Alec is already smitten with all the five of them. They are funny, smart, at times vulnerable and tender, in need of someone to tell them that they are beautiful and loved for who they are. They have been rejected, abandoned, and Alec feels somehow akin to them. He looks up at the clouds, and at the shapes they form in the sky. He keeps seeing Magnus’ beautiful face everywhere. His kind and warm eyes, his soft smile, and his delicate but so masculine features are always on his mind. Who knows if he will see him again any time soon... He already misses him like air, but this was the plan from the start, after all. Moving here, working with Carlotta, maybe falling in love, and starting a family with a local guy? If only he weren’t already in love with Magnus, that would be a nice plan.

Of course... His love will remain unrequited but that's okay. Alec has come to terms with his feelings. He will never fall out of love with the Warlock. He may not be a Shadowhunter anymore, but he is a Nephilim nonetheless, and Nephilim love once, fiercely. Maybe Magnus will come visit him one day, or he'll call him to see how he's doing. Maybe he'll surprise him for his birthday in a few days. Shit… It has already been a month since they went their separate ways!

26 days , to be precise. Yes, Alec is counting. No one will judge him for it, right?

On the other hand, nobody knows about his feelings. Not even Magnus, despite everything they shared. Hot (in more than one way) nights and bustling days. A small sigh escapes his mouth, but no, Alec won’t give in to this melancholic emotion, he won’t wallow in misery. Magnus wouldn’t want that. Therefore he will keep his promise to the Warlock. He will try and be happy, he will strive to ensure that this life Magnus gave him could be fulfilling, carried on to the best of his abilities.

Alec squints his eyes looking up at the sun, but the light is too intense, so he lowers his gaze again and looks around himself. This place is truly amazing. There are several dandelions around him. The intense yellow of their tiny petals makes him think of the Warlock of course. It was he who explained how that little flower is an incredibly resilient, energetic, and adaptable flower.

You see, Alexander? This flower entrusts its seeds to the wind, with confidence and survives even on the roughest terrain, in the most adverse conditions. You are like a little, brave dandelion, dear. You are my dandelion.

And then he kissed him and Alec felt a love like he had never felt before explode in his chest. That day, Alec also learned how to blow on the fluffy cloud of minuscule feathered fruits to make a wish. He wished to be able to stay with Magnus forever.

Later on, he did that again countless times, and each time he made the same wish. But enough is enough. That wish can’t come true. Absent mindedly, he picks one fat, soft pappus that was standing proud next to him , and looks at it with calm resignation. He won't blow it this time, wishing in vain. It would be meaningless. Magnus is unreachable. Alec left New York for a reason and Magnus… let him go. Today Alec can linger here a bit longer, he has the afternoon free and nowhere else he needs to be. He lies down and crosses his fingers behind her head, the pappus left to rest on his chest for the wind to take it. The thick grass pinches his back through the cotton of his T-shirt, the sun is warm and pleasant on his face, and Alec lets the sounds of nature envelop him. Effortlessly, once again, his mind goes back to the events of that fateful day at the beginning of March. The day that changed his life for good.

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#malec fic #shadowhunters fic #shadowhunters #shrb2024 #magnus bane #alec lightwood

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ironstrange1991 · 1 year

Text

Strange Love (Part 3)

Pairing: Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Tony is concerned about the state of Y/N and decides to ask Doctor Strange for help. Gradually, something more than friendship begins to sprout from the relationship between the two.

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: Mentions of past traumas, slight angst

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to post this. If it's any consolation, know that the next five chapters are already written and I hope to start posting them weekly. (I won't promise, though) Let's see what happens.

Chapter 3: Whole Again

“She's not getting better�� Tony Stark was starting to get worried about you. It had been almost a month since the tragic events in the basement and since then you had barely gotten out of bed, had barely eaten, and had not spoken to anyone.

“Maybe she needs more time, Tony” Pepper said trying to be understanding “Look at everything that happened, it's traumatizing.”

“Where's Strange?” Natasha asked “No one has seen him since that day.”

Tony shrugged “Kamar-Taj. Looks like it's in Nepal. Said he need time to get to know himself now that he have absorbed the other Stranger's powers. Honestly, it sounds very much like a mid-life crisis”

“She and Loki...” Natasha didn’t finished

“I don't know. It is possible that they broke up.”

Tony did not approve your relationship with Loki, but the abrupt way you pushed him away after Doctor Strange's death worried him. Several times Loki had tried to talk to you, but you refused to see him.

"Maybe we should take her to a doctor," Pepper suggested. "Maybe a therapist, someone she could talk to."

“No therapist in the world will be able to talk to her about the things that happened” Tony said discouraged “I saw it and I'm still trying to believe it”

“All this has been out of the media until now and we want to keep it that way. Talking about these things with anyone outside can be dangerous” Natasha said apprehensively.

Tony wasn't surprised by the calculating way Romanoff looked at things, and he had to admit that she was right.

“I just want her to get better, but my hands are tied. I do not know what to do.”

...

The hours passed before your eyes forming days, weeks, a month...

The memories haunted you, you couldn't believe everything that had happened, you were sad, but it was a strange sadness, it was a bitter and dangerous thing.

You were sitting in an armchair watching the fireplace on, it was daytime but all the curtains were closed.

Someone knocked on the door and you jumped. The door opened, it was Tony.

“I'm loving the new decoration of this place” He said looking at the apartment “Low light, no air, broken glass... I liked it.”

You did not answer.

He approached you “You've been here for four weeks, it's starting to make me nervous” He looked at you, his eyes wide open “I'm... terrified actually.”

You continued in silence.

“Listen... I can't say I understand what you're feeling... at most I can make a poor comparison with when half the universe was dusted and I lost important people for 5 years... I had to deal with all this pain, but I imagine it's not the same thing for you.

You stared at him with red, swollen eyes. He sat on the couch next to you.

“What I'm trying to say is that I've lost several times... you know that better than anyone, but... at some point we have to move on. You are alive and I am sure that right now you didn’t want to be, but you are. So please listen to me, you need to go back living.”

He sighed putting his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees “It's all so strange out there, everything is so quiet, I've barely been able to work... I... I'm very worried about you. Please y/n, you know I love you, right?”

You looked at him and tears were streaming down your face “Tony...”

He hugged you and you collapsed on his shoulder in tears.

“It's okay, put it out.” He let you cry until you calmed down and then he touched your face, pulling your hair behind your ears and stroking it. “It's going to be okay. I know it’s hard but I am here for you. Always.”

He managed to convince you to take a shower and brought food, you sat down at the table, but at the first bite your stomach turned and you pushed the plate away.

He watched you sitting at the other side of the table apprehensively “You didn't like it, ok, I can order something. How about pizza? It’s your favorite, isn’t it?”

You shook your head.

“You need to eat or you'll get sick, please y/n, I'm trying here.”

He gave up trying to get you to eat after a while. He wanted you to come down, but you could barely walk and you were always so tired.

He didn't argue anymore and took you to your room when he realized it was the only thing you wanted. You lay down hugging the pillow. He sighed and sat on the bed leaning against the headboard and pulled you onto his lap. He stroked your hair, touched your forehead a few times.

“You'll get better” He said apprehensively more to himself than to you “I'll make you feel better.”

...

“She's burning with fever” Tony said worried “I don't know what to do.”

“Tony...” Pepper was apprehensive “Maybe its time to take her to see a doctor. Grieve its hard and painful but this… this isn’t only grieve, she is giving up”

Tony ran a hand over his tired face “I'll take care of it“ He said getting up.

"You're not thinking about doing what I think you're going to do," Pepper said in disbelief

“She needs a doctor, you just said!”

Tony knocked on the door of the Sanctum Sanctorum and it opened by itself.

"Strange" he called into the empty, silent hall.

“Stephen Strange is not here at the moment” Wong replied “Can I help you, Stark?”

Tony ran a hand over his nervous face “Hi Wong, I... I need to talk to Strange, it's... important.”

“Have you tried his cell phone?”

“Funny that you have a sense of humor with that face. Listen, I don't have time for cell phones, I need Strange, NOW”.

A portal opened in the middle of the hall as Tony spoke and Stephen Strange entered “Stark?”

“You see” Tony said teasing Wong “That's what I was talking about. Cell phone, how absurd!”

Wong walked away leaving the two of them alone.

“What do you need, Stark?”

“You look different” Tony said making fun as he stalled “You look a bit.. strange.”

“I've heard that joke more times than I could tell and it never gets funny”.

"You'll have to admit it's funny." Tony turned on his heel.

Doctor Strange looked at him apprehensively “What do you need?”

“She's not getting better” Tony said darkly “She doesn't eat, she doesn't get out of bed. This morning she had a very high fever.. I don't know what to do.”

Strange stared at the floor sighing “Tony, I don't think I'm the best person to help her right now.”

“Yeah, I know... that face of yours won't help, but she needs someone who understands and she needs a doctor. You are both. Please… I can’t lose her”

Stephen sighed “I will see her tonight.”

Tony sighed relieved “Thank you, Doctor.”

...

You were lost in some dark dream and you couldn't wake up and it was cold, very cold and your whole body was shaking.

“The fever is very high. She won't wake up until we get her temperature back to normal.”

Stephen... you could hear his voice, but he wasn't there. It couldn't be him. Stephen Strange was dead. It was all so dark.

...

“The serum will help hydrate the body and the intravenous medication will take effect faster, normalizing her body temperature.”

Stephen Strange was staring at her unconscious on the bed. He couldn't help but feel guilty that he hadn't been able to resolve the situation without going to the extreme end it had.

“What happened to her, Strange?” Stark asked.

Strange sighed “Trauma manifests itself in different ways. She's been through a lot lately.” Strange could see the exhaustion in Tony Stark. He could fall sick as well if he wasn't careful.

“You should rest, Stark. You need to." The doctor touched Tony's shoulder “Or you will get sick too.”

Tony looked at you lying unconscious.

“I'll stay with her. I can’t leave her alone” Tony insisted.

“I will take care of her. I won't leave her side. I promise”

Stark nodded with another worried look at her and left.

Strange stood at the window watching the night. Something inside him seemed to react to all this strangely. Since receiving his powers, he felt more dangerous, more irritable, it was almost as if together with them he had absorbed traits of the other Doctor Strange's personality and that scared him.

Now as he watched her sleep he noticed that he felt a strange warm in his chest. Feeling uncomfortable with the intensity of that feeling , he left the room leaving the door open and sat in an armchair in the living room.

Those things inside him stirred in response to his unease. He spent the night there, taking turns between the living room and the bedroom. He measured the temperature from time to time and sighed more calmly when he noticed that it began to drop.

It was after 3 am when she finally woke up. He continued to sit in the armchair, watching cautiously. Something inside him said it was a mistake that he was the first person she saw, but there was no other person besides him at her bedside.

...

You looked around the dark room and soon noticed something in your hand, a needle connected to an IV bag. You ran a hand over your face and struggled to sit up in bed, but your body didn't respond as you expected, so you saw him watching you from the armchair at the back of the room.

“Strange...is that you?”

He stood up and then you could see his face.

“You woke up. Stark was getting worried.”

Your heart soared at the sound of his voice and you had to force yourself to understand that this was the Doctor Strange of your universe. The Doctor Strange you was completely in love with was dead.

“What happened?” You asked and your voice cracked as reality hit and memories came to your mind.

He approached the bed “The high fever and severe dehydration made you shut down. You blacked out for hours.”

You nodded without taking your eyes off him. It was impossible to see him the same way now and extremely painful to accept reality.

“Are you feeling better? I can increase the serum so it will end faster.”

Was he there as your doctor? He got up fiddling with the IV and then went to the bed side table and got a stethoscope.

“I will… “ You flinched at his approach and he pretended not to notice. He listened for a while and you watched him. His eyes were deeper and with light circles under them, he looked tired.

“Your lungs are fine, normal heartbeat” He said looking at you awkwardly “It was probably just a malaise due to your fragile emotional state.

You forced yourself to sit up again and he helped you and then to your surprise, he sat down next to you on the bed.

“What happened to you? You disappeared” You asked, your voice was hoarse.

“I'm fine, do not worry.”

The sound of his voice could still make you tremble, if you closed your eyes it was as if the other Strange was still beside you.

“What... did they do to him?”

“We buried him...” He looked away. “We had to use another name, but I insisted that he had a decent funeral.”

Your eyes filled with tears.

“It wasn't your fault. He was obsessed and corrupted by loss. No one could have saved him.”

“I could have saved him.”

“Giving up your life, and all the people who love you. Y/n, that would not be fair.”

You went silent.

“I also carry some guilt for what happened”. He sighed “If there wasn't a Doctor Strange in this universe he could have stayed.”

You stared in surprise, You didn't imagine he felt that way “It doesn't make sense!”

“No, it doesn't, but we can't change the way we feel, can we?”

You closed your eyes, a tear running down your cheek.

“You're gone.”

“I went to Kamar-Taj to seek... knowledge so to speak. I spend some time there”

“And did you find what you were looking for?”

He stared his own trembled hands “Not Enough.”

“He gave his powers to you. He was the most powerful Doctor Strange in the multiverse and don’t ask me how I know that, I just know, and right now that is you”

“I wish he had also delivered the knowledge he acquired over the centuries... I don't know what to do with all this.”

“You have to protect us, it's your job. I know that something big is coming and I thought it was him, but its not, is another thing. I think you need to put yourself together Doctor and protect our reality, our universe. May be that was the reason of this all”

He sighed nodding and Tony knocked on the door entering the room. Stephen got up and stepped away from the bed.

“Hi.”

“You woke up” He smiled approaching you “It's good to see you better.”

“I'm sorry... I didn't mean to worry you.”

“Worry? I wasn't worried. Did the Doctor think I was worried?”

Stephen smiled, that was so rare “He was worried. He was desperated”

“Look, she's smiling, it's an evolution” Tony smiled relieved and you felt guilty for having made him go through all of that.

“She needs to rest” Strange said authoritative is his Doctor mode “No leaving the house for the next few days. I'll prescribe a medication and a vitamin, soon you'll be feeling much better.”

“I thought you'd give her some kind of potion, you know, some wizard thing.” Tony teased

Doctor Strange walked away writing in a small notebook of recipes ignoring Tony and looked at you smiling “If you need me, you know where to find me.”

“I accompany you Doctor to…”

“It won't be necessary” He opened a portal and went through it.

Tony stared in disbelief “This guy doesn't care about good manners of etiquette.”

“Tony...”

He sat down next to you and looked at you apprehensively.

“I'm sorry for everything that happened.”

“There is no need to apologize, you weren't to blame for anything.”

You went silent and so was he. An anxious silence.

“I wasn't going to ask... but I can't stand it...”

“What?” You said without understanding what it was about.

“How did you do that? You not only got rid of Friday's commands, you took control of her functions... I was curious to say the least.”

You sighed, thinking that the best thing was to tell the whole truth”

“Before coming to NY I only had dreams and these sensations and sometimes I heard voices. It was how I knew about you, all of you.”

He nodded.

“Since I got here these skills seem to have expanded exponentially. First it was with Loki, I mentally called to him without even knowing what I was doing and then the visions started and now... I didn't know I could do it, I just did it.

"Telepathically you mean." He didn't seem to believe what he was hearing.

“Yeah. I... managed to access the AI code with my mind. I managed to get into her programming and recalibrate her to respond to me as well.

He smiled seeming to find it all unbelievable “You hacked my AI with your mind... I shouldn't, but I'm proud.”

He made you chuckled. Only Tony could make that after everything. It was amazing how Tony always managed to make you feel better.

“You saved my life” He said regretfully “I... don't know how to thank you.”

“Your life wouldn’t being in need of saving if I hadn't put everyone here at risk at first place.”

He sighed getting up “You see, that's what you do, you blame yourself for everything, for things that weren't your fault.”

“I should have gone with him..”

“And would you have left me?” He said challenging you “You say you love me, that I'm everything to you, right? Wrong, because at the first opportunity you were going to walk away and leave me here.

Your eyes filled with tears “I'm sorry, I know I'm wrong... I... I love you Tony, I don't...”

He agreed “Apologies accepted. That said, I'm not going to accept this talk of fate anymore, you understand? We stay together, you and I, whoever wants to separate us is the enemy, do you understand that?”

You nodded and there you stayed cuddled in your bed and you felt that there were nowhere else where you could be safer.

…

Two weeks have passed since the day Doctor Strange needed to go to your rescue. He had visited you at other times as a doctor. It was always awkward situations, but you were grateful to him for all the support he gave you.

You finally felt ready to get out of that apartment. You showered, changed, and went downstairs to the workshop where Tony was absently working. You missed your afternoons working together.

“Need help?”

He smiled.

You helped Tony repair the combat-damaged nanotechnology device. You both spent the whole afternoon there, talking and eventually the subject would have to come up.

“I haven't seen Loki since the last time he came here and you refused to talk to him. I was worried that something might have happened between the two of you.”

You sighed.

“You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, I know it's none of my business, I'm just... I'm worried about you, I'm walking on eggshells here.”

You sat on the floor turning the screwdriver that was in your hand

“He... well, I... asked him for some time. To think, to put everything in order in my head, your know”

Tony looked surprised “Some time, nice...very grown up of you. And what did he say?”

“He was upset, I think I hurt him. I haven't spoken to him since then. And I don’t think I will.”

Tony sighed “Ah this is... complicated. I imagine that as a prince he isn't used to losing. You know that guy wanted to rule an entire planet.”

“I don't... “ You hesitated a little to speak.

Tony walked over and sat on the floor next to you.

“After everything that happened with Strange, the way I felt for him... I don't think I could just erase it all and pretend that nothing happened.”

“Strange explained to me a little of this... thing that happened to you. What madness!”

“Yeah” You chuckled nervously “Everything's still here Tony. It's a little difficult to tell what's real and what's not. I couldn't go on with Loki while I was feeling this way. It wouldn't be right.”

He put his hand on your shoulder “You did the right thing. Stopping, thinking, putting everything in place before taking the next step.”

You shook your head “Then why do I still feel like I failed him?”

Tony looked at you regretfully “Loki will get over it. And soon you'll feel better and you'll be able to pick up where you left off.” He grimaced “It's so weird that you have a relationship with the guy who tried to kill me years a go”

You let out a small laugh and were surprised to still be able to laugh “It seems like an eternity ago. Things would be easier if our problem was still Loki trying to rule the planet”

Tony grinned, looked relieved, and again you felt bad for putting him through all that in the last few weeks. “You're right.” He got up and gave you his hand. “Enough of talking, let's get to work.”

…

That night Tony insisted that you should have dinner together. Rhodes was present and you talked normally about anything that didn't involve the tragic fight in the basement.

“I was with the Secretary of State yesterday” Rhodes began “He is adamant about the Accords.”

“Accords? The Sokovia Accords?” you asked confused.

“No” Tony replied “ The Sokovia accords is gone. This one is a little more... flexible so to speak.”

“The current accord requires all persons with special devices or abilities to identify themselves as such and respond to the government in cases of conflict.” Explained Rhodes.

You stiffened. "Doesn't seem so different from the other"

“Don't worry” Tony said to you immediately “Nobody knows about your... abilities and I intend to keep it that way.”

You agreed. Rhodes seemed to disagree. “She needs to be registered, Tony.”

“She won't fight, she doesn't need to.”

Rhodes sighed “What about the wizard?”

Your heart skipped a beat at the mention of Doctor Strange and you mentally scolded yourself. It needed to stop. He was someone else entirely. Well, not really. Things got a little messy inside your head.

“Sorcerer” Tony replied “I think it's the correct term, I don't know.”

Pepper was silent, perhaps worried about the direction of the conversation. She kept looking at you like she was checking your reaction all the time.

“Ross wants him to register himself right away.”

“Oh he's going to love this” Tony put his hand on his face “Technically he was never part of the Avengers, so...”

“Tony it doesn't matter, everyone saw him fighting in NY. Everyone knows him.”

Tony sighed “I'll try to talk to him.”

“I think it's a big waste of everybody's time” You said without holding back. They stared at you. “The order of the Masters of Kamar-Taj protects this city, this planet, this dimension and universe long before the Avengers dreamed of joining. Doctor Strange will not agree to sign this... document. And he doesn’t have to, he is above it all.”

“Ross is not kidding...” Rhodes said preoccupied

“Will they try to force him?” You asked sounding more petulant than you intended. “Strange is not Rogers, they won't want to get in trouble with him.”

Tony rolled his eyes “Yeah, because now he is a super sorcerer with super magical powers”

“Tony, can you stop joking, this is a serious matter” Pepper asked annoyed. “ The idea was to have a calm and decent dinner and you both…” She stared to Tony and Rhodes “… are ruining it”

“Okay, no one will fight with anyone, I'll talk to him.” Tony promised

“And enough of this conversation.” Pepper demanded.

…

You were too restless to sleep and didn't want to be alone, but it was late at night.

Contrary to any notion of self-preservation, you slipped out of the tower and took a taxi to the nearest cemetery. Not all NY cemeteries was open at night, but some few were and you needed to find him, to say your last goodbye. You walked through the graves not knowing what you were looking for in the dark, but there was something in your mind pulling you forward so you knew you were in the right place and then you found him.

Stephen Strade. The headstone was new, the grass growing where the soil had been turned. It could be a coincidence, but something in your mind told you were in the right place.

You looked around at the empty cemetery illuminated only by the moon that was full and yellow that night. You sat there on the floor. The memories coming through your mind, all the times he swore he loved you and his melancholy apology.

Your heart overflowed with desperate sadness and you began to sob and you talked to him like he was still by your side.

“I'm sorry Stephen… I am so, so sorry.”

You were so distracted by your own crying that you didn’t hear someone approaching, it could be anyone.

“It's a little late to visit cemeteries, don't you think?”

You stared at Doctor Strange dressed casually in jeans, a gray tshirt, and a long-sleeved shirt on top.

“I could not sleep.” You said wiping the tears from your face.

He approached you “Next time let me know and I can medicate you, I'm sure it's safer than walking around NY past 1am.

“I wanted to see him.”

“How did you know he’d be here?”

“I didn't know, but I... felt”

Strange agreed.

You got up, beating the sand off your clothes “It doesn't make much sense, does it? He is no longer here with us.”

Strange sighed closing his fists“I'm not so sure.”

You stared without understanding.

“Come on, I'll take you home.”

You hesitated. He seemed to understand and extended his hand to you “Come on”.

We entered the Sanctum Sanctorum and everything was quiet. The place was a little scary at night.

“May I offer you some tea?”

You agreed and he went ahead and you followed him. Arriving in the kitchen, you sat by the table. Strange used his magic to make tea and it was fascinating to watch him to do those things. He sat across from you handing you a cup.

You sipped and remained silent.

“Tony called me earlier today and said you got better, he seemed confident.”

You smiled nervously “ I've been trying to show that I'm fine in front of him, in fact I'm trying hard to get better for him.”

“Why?”

You went back to taking a sip of your tea “I don't want to worry him. Tony has a lot to worry about, I don't want him to worry about me too.”

“But he does, a lot. He likes you. You are very important to him.”

You smiled “And he is important to me”

Strange agreed, his both hands was crossed over the table “I never understood your relationship. What you are to each other. I know it’s none of my busyness”

You couldn't help but smile. Talking about Tony made you feel good “I love him. More than I ever loved any man. He is the great love of my life...”

Doctor Strange looked perplexed and you pretend you didn’t notice his confusion.

“... he's my father, my brother, an uncle, I don't know... Tony is all that and none of that at the same time, he's my best friend, the person I trust the most in this world.”

He smiled, trying to seem understandable, but he clearly doesn't understand what you were getting at with your answer. “I'm glad you found each other and that you feel that way about him.”

You agreed and he sipped his tea in silence and then as if he couldn't help himself, he asked “And Loki...”

You looked away.

“I'm sorry” He said embarrassed “I don't want to intrude, I just remembered that Tony mentioned that he hadn't seen him in a while and...”

“I haven't seen Loki in weeks, I needed some time.”

He sighed and you were wondering if it was a smile you saw on his face for a second.

He finished his tea “It's not hard to imagine his reaction. He is Loki after all”

“I hurt him, I'm not proud of it, but I think it was the best thing to do for now. I'm still very confused by everything that happened.”

He agreed.

"You seem to have come out of this a little better, assuming you're as good as you look."

“I'm not good at showing feelings.” He said sighing “Or we can put it this way: I'm very good at not showing feelings.

You nodded understanding very well what he meant.

“I spent a few weeks at Kamar-Taj. I read what I could about what seemed to suit my situation, but...”

You waited. Your tea long forgotten and cold.

“There is nothing in any book that explains what he did. However he did it, it has never been done in our universe until now.”

“Are you referring to when he gave his powers to you?”

He shook his head no “A simple transfer or drain spell. Highly dangerous, but simple. The question is this…”

He showed his hand and closed his eyes concentrating and in a second it turned into a tentacle right in front of you and his eyes turned red. He forced it back to normal getting embarrassed. “I don't know what this is. I can control it. I am really good at it and some masters told me this could be a valorous weapon against enemies, but I am afraid…”

You sat silently wondering whether or not to mention what you witnessed at the London Sanctum. In the end you decided it was best to be honest and tell what you knew. “In London, in the Sanctum, he fought this thing. I saw it.

“Did he defeat it?”

You denied “He absorbed it. It entered his body.” You sighed “He believed that these things died when he did that, but it seems that they became part of him, a living part inside of him. Suddenly you are not only one, your are a legion.”

Strange agreed “I would like to know how to get rid of it. It's been exhausting trying to keep these things under control.”

“He said it was a curse. I think you will have to learn how to live with it.”

Strange sighed and then changed the subject. “You told Loki what happened between you and...

“Almost everything.”

He was silent and you wondered why he insisted on talking about Loki.

“So you didn't say that...”

“That I slept with him? Yes, I did. That I fell in love with him? No, but fuck it, it doesn't matter anymore.”

To your complete surprise, he smirked. A cocky smirk “Hard to imagine those words coming out of your mouth.”

“You don't know me that well, Doctor”

“I would like to know.”

You were surprised and felt your face heat up. A tension enveloping you both. It made you uncomfortable and you felt the need to get up and step away.

“I think I better go. Tony might be worried.”

He got up too “Oh sure, we don't want to worry Tony Stark.”

You smiled a little sheepishly “Thanks for the tea and the conversation, Strange

“Come whenever you want, I like the company” He smiled “And please, call me Stephen.”

You agreed your cheeks a bit more red than before.

He opened a portal to your apartment.

“Good night, Stephen.”

The portal closed as you passed it and you stood there feeling something you wasn't quite sure what it was.

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