#neither does my wife

[thegaywitchcoven]

I am trying to have a nice conversation with my brother and my wife can't stop talking about animal penises

Duck penises are corkscrew and prehensile. Female hyenas technically have weird vaginal penises. Just shouting PENIS at random points.

I love them. But why are they like this.

[decarabias]

forever thinking about royal’s bad ending. my thing with it is that maruki doesn’t necessarily give anyone what they want most, he gives them what’s most appropriate for them to want within a maruki-approved framework. iirc there’s a really interesting text sequence in the game where he just straight up changes someone’s career because they’re not “good” at it, regardless of whether that’s what they actually want. why struggle at all? ever? right?

and so ultimately i don’t think goro akechi’s greatest wish is necessarily ren. i think it’s a wish for sure, but his greatest wish is his own agency. despite any regrets he has and the fact that shido and yaldabaoth treated him like a pawn, he's generally pretty adamant about owning his choices and their consequences. he doesn't want that erased. and instead, you end up with pleasant boy™ if you take maruki’s deal. maybe maruki (incorrectly) thinks sanding off all of akechi’s rough edges will make him easier for ren to love. but the crux of it is really that maruki has to essentially lobotomize him to preserve the illusion of his perfect reality, because their ideologies are so diametrically opposed that akechi would spend every waking moment fighting back.

this isn’t to undermine ren’s importance to akechi btw — he explicitly acknowledges that he wishes they had met earlier, and there are countless moments throughout their confidant that underscore how much it means to him that they mirror each other so well. he absolutely does want more time with ren, just not under these circumstances.

and that’s also what makes ren’s choice on 2/2 doubly devastating. he knows that either way he loses akechi. and if he takes maruki’s deal, he loses him knowing that his last moments with the real akechi involved the two of them being unforgivably out of sync.

[yeetushaitus]

just a little celebratory drawing for the release of the ace attorney investigations collection!! aai2 is one of my favorite games EVER and im so happy that capcom has FINALLY decided to give it an official localization!!!

funny story about aai2 i started watching an lp of it like 3 years ago but was kinda losing interest in aa in general so i dropped it, came back to the exact same lp in like may-ish and then like 2 days before i finished the lp the collection was announced. LIKE U COULDNT HAVE ANNOUCED IT LIKE A MONTH EARLIER SO I COULD PLAY IT FOR MYSELF COME ON CAPCOM

anyways am currently watching like. SO many aai2 lps its not even funny

[kirby-the-gorb]

[rin-solo]

Let me release some character headcanons into the wild real quick, specifically about Odysseus and his family. And by headcanons I mean my canon-compliant (as far as I'm aware) interpretation of their characters and arcs.

Penelope: A quiet, gentle, book-smart girl underestimated by everyone and considered "plain" especially next to Helen. Odysseus was the one who saw her for the interesting amazing person she was, hence why she fell in love with him.

She's logical, introverted, a bit of a nerd, and a little shy; she prefers to remain in the background instead of the spotlight. When Odysseus is away for 20 years and she deals with the suitors Penelope grows to be more resolute and bold, having to step into a leadership role even if she doesn't prefer to do so. She can kick ass if she has to (both verbally and physically) but doesn't enjoy doing it herself (setting her apart from the usual Spartan.) Even over the years, she remains introverted, preferring her books and her son's company over politics, battles, and annoying strangers.

She admires Odysseus for his bold leadership, his talent for improvising and handling crowds and attention, his cunning, and his battle prowess, the fact that he has and would never diminish or humiliate himself to impress or please anyone (even her), as well as his undying loyalty. Moreover, his bold, adventurous energy has always made each day an adventure and without him, her life feels really empty and dull. She's always been the steady, level-headed one in the relationship who doesn't shy away from telling him when he might be making a mistake and grounding and supporting him when he needs it.

Odysseus: A bold, somewhat reckless, confident boy who grew into a decisive, cunning king. Penelope was the one who saw his good heart underneath his carefree and somewhat condescending demeanor, acknowledging him for the well-intentioned person he really is hence why he fell in love with her.

He's got the smartest mouth in all of Greece and can talk his way in or out of *almost* anything. He's more street-smart than book-smart, able to improvise, lead, and think on his feet. He's unafraid to speak up and talk back (even to the gods), which has gotten him in trouble countless times (not that he'd ever stop.) During his 20-year-long ordeal, he naturally became more ruthless, less over-confident, and more willing to do what was necessary to reach his goal, but he never actually lost either his good heart or his true values, only covered them up because he thought he had to. Before and after he was a natural leader and diplomat, a cunning and strong warrior, and someone who isn't afraid to be in the spotlight and take responsibility when he has to. If anything, he tends to blame himself too much. Although after his return his trauma and bad experiences leave him more hesitant and insecure in his leadership than he's ever been; it takes a while and a lot of support for him to grow back into it and stop seeing himself as the monster and the one who is to blame for the deaths of his entire crew.

In Penelope, he admires her intelligence, her steadiness, her undying loyalty, and the fact that she will always ground him, call him out, and support him in often the same breath. He's always been the decisive one in the relationship with better people skills, but without her reassurance that he's doing the right thing, he is only half as confident in any decision made. He finds strength and assurance in knowing that she would follow him to the ends of the earth, but also keep him from straying onto the wrong path without hesitation.

Telemachus: While inheriting his father's bold, fearless attitude, he has also his mother's gentleness and dislike for politics. Growing up seeing how dejected and miserable she was because of his father's absence, he has developed a positive, sunshine attitude, also to brighten her life a little.

He's both naive and not at the same time; being bullied by the suitors for so long, he knows human depravity very well, but being stuck in Ithaca, he doesn't understand the sacrifice and pain that comes with being a hero. He's somewhat of an ambivert—book-smart like his mother but also fearless like his father. Mostly he's just a kind, good person who wants to bring light to the people in his life that he cares about and will always choose to greet the world with open arms when possible.

When his father returns, he becomes the new light in his life as well, helping him to open his heart again after what he's been through and giving him new hope in the way that Polites used to. He admires his mother's intelligence and dedication, and her endurance and ability to step out of her comfort zone and confront bad people when she has to. In his father, he admires his leadership, his loyalty, his endurance, his battle prowess, and ruthlessness—his ability to do what he has to do. Telemachus sees his own inability to be so ruthless as a shortcoming, even though Odysseus is more than happy that his son is not like him in this regard and tries to shield him from anything that may change this.

[aceredshirt13]

gang i have to share this P. G. Wodehouse quote with you all because ever since I found it I can't stop thinking about it. it's from a letter he wrote when he was 78 years old to his friend Guy Bolton (many thanks to P. G. Wodehouse: A Life in Letters)

I have been on the sick list myself, but am better now. Inflamed bladder or chill on the bladder or something, the symptoms being agony when I passed water, as the expression is. It brought back the brave old days when I used to get clap.

he really said "yeah the pain from my bladder issue reminds of the days when I used to have so much sex I repeatedly got venereal disease"

[dancedance-resolution]

well fellas it’s happening i think i am maybe developing a crush on the girl ive been fucking recently 🫥

[saint-ambrosef]

my hot tea opinion that will make a lot of people mad is that i don't think toddlers should have snacks in Mass

[vamptastic]

ginger island is so fun like yay yipee time to abandon my wife husband and four young children to tend to my farm alone for weeks at a time so i can go run around a volcano and collect walnuts. nobody in town seems to have an issue with this either.

[mikeylivesattheend]

That moment when Fiddleford has the personality nice & southern 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️

[angryteapott]

oh and btw for the princess royal the character that makes it interesting is su rongqing, because he represents a sort of noblesse oblige and inability to change that makes the main conflict pop because he has a point!! he’s just also a selfish elitist who can’t let go of his worldview because admitting the noble families are parasites is admitting the family he adores deserved their annihilation in some way. There was never going to be a happy ending for him because he cannot forget the world where millions and his loved ones died in vain and he cannot reconcile with personal responsibility for that.

[beeapocalypse]

was about to start a post with 'do you remember the desperate housewives videogame. the husband shouldve been stoned to death. the cop and the mobster as well' and then realized no. nobody remembers the fuckin desperate housewives game are you kidding me

[paleangels13]

Helloo, I still exist did anyone even notice I was mostly gone lol

Anyone interested in ehhh...slightly unhinged work-related talk?

No?

Well. Too bad

Anyone that knows me irl please ignore the tags – I'm embarrassed ✨🥰

[erikmiltonlehnsherr]

Actors I think would have slayed as Erik. More to come probably

[straydogged]

things that make me a lil emotional!!!! this is the first notebook I have ever fully used, and it's completely filled with dnd notes. it feels very right.

[razrogue]

RE: last reblog - like 99% of these Daeran v Astarion polls should have Daeran winning by a landslide. There is basically no competition between them with many of these poll topics.

And like someone said in the notes, damn near every WotR companion gives each other shit. Not lighthearted ribbing either. They go straight for the jugular in the most polite tones majority of the time 🤣

That poll would have been better matched if it was Daeran v Minthara. Astarion is not equipped for Daeran comebacks. Astarion would be upset. Daeran wouldn't think of it past the end of his sentence.