#neil really DOES do it all around here doesn't he? :D

[stabbyfoxandrew]

demon neil please!!!! I love the way that these AUs are phrased like - demon neil, angle neil, arsonist neil, it’s like he’s Barbie, he can do it all💜

WIP Wednesday (10/9) | Demon Neil AU (Part 2)

He's nearly asleep again when Hashbrown chomps on his hand, the fleshy bit between his thumb and pointer finger. Andrew hisses air through his teeth as he comes back online and takes his hand away, glaring at the gremlin on his chest. She isn't purring anymore, just starting a hole through him.

"You're the one using me as a cushion, asshole. Don't bite me." Andrew tells her as he rubs his brand new wound. It doesn't bleed, but it hurts like a bitch. He should've got a fish, fish don't bite. After a moment of the staring contest, Andrew tucks his hand under his blanket far from Hash's sharp teeth.

He expects her to get comfortable and resume her happy rumbling. Or, since the sun's up, jump out of bed and start yowling for food. But she does neither. Instead she stands up on Andrew's chest and starts to sniff his face, her own little nose scrunching up. Andrew grimaces and pulls his head back when he gets a whisker to his eyeball. "Hey, quit that. Go somewhere else."

He doesn't have to tell her twice. Hashbrown takes a step back, right onto his kidney, and yowls before skittering off into the other room. Andrew watches her pouch swing as she goes and sighs, thinking he maybe should've been a cat that wasn't insane. But hey, at least they match. Andrew laughs under his breath and snuggles down into his blankets as last night's debacle comes flooding back to him.

"I'm not a debacle."

[multifandomimagin3s]

Scottish! Reader - 141, Los Vaqueros + Konig

Requested by @nylas-teashop

AN: Saw this request and got really excited, I have quite a broad accent myself so, self-insert? Mayhaps.

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

First and foremost - a massive smile breaks out on this guy's face when he finds out that you're Scottish, too.

Like genuinely, the first time he hears you speak, he's like >:D

Like his brain genuinely goes "aw yessss"

Mans probably gets a bit frustrated when he has to repeat what he says multiple times for other people - at least now that you're here he won't have to.

Since Neil Ellice is from the North of Scotland, I reckon Soap would be from around that area - although his accent does kind of give me Edinburgh vibes.

So if your accent is much broader and thicker than his, he's delighted and just loves listening to you talk.

Is also interested in hearing your local slang - since dialects vary in Scotland depending on where you're from, he's curious to hear if yours' is that much different to his own.

Definitely speaks Broad Scots more with you, and takes great delight when other people haven’t got a clue what you’re saying to each other.

It’s like a secret language for you two.

He definitely takes delight in Ghost's annoyed reaction when you're both talking, whether it be in person or over comms.

"Speak English, you two."

Soap probably asked you the number one question that every Scottish person gets asked at least once in their life -- "Do you support Rangers or Celtic?"

Probably wouldn't be arsed if you supported a different team from him, or didn't support any at all - but he'll still playfully wind you up about it on the regular.

If you happened to speak Gaelic, he'd try and get you to teach him a bit.

I can see him walking up with a big Saltire flag whenever there’s a match on between Scotland and England / anywhere else - encouraging you to take one corner and he takes the other, parading about the base.

Price has given you both in trouble for it more than a few times but after a while he kind of just gave up and elects to ignore it.

He did give Johnny a gutting out for blasting 'Flower of Scotland' at the early hours of the morning though.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

"Fuckin' 'ell, there's two of 'em."

Mans gets so annoyed when you and Johnny speak Scots - he doesn't know what any of the words you guys are using mean, so he's just >:(

“Speak English, for fuck sake…”

Secretly though, he actually likes your accent.

He'll never admit it though.

He's been around Johnny for long enough to get the gist of what he's saying, even though he pretends he doesn’t know what you’re saying just to wind you up.

Sometimes though, he genuinely has no idea what you're saying.

Like that time when the Team were setting up a make-shift base camp in an abandoned building that had definitely seen better days:

Y/N: Fuckin' hell, it's a bit foostie* in here.

Ghost: ...

Generally in those moments would either wait for either you or Soap to 'translate' or would just ignore it.

If you have a dry sense of humour, he’ll chuckle lightly under his mask - he’d never admit to it though.

[About Graves] Y/N: That cunt is wired to a Mars bar.*

Soap: *wheezing*

Ghost: *holding back a chuckle* Focus on the mission, (Y/L/N).

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

I think he’d get the gist of what you’re saying but only if you’re speaking slowly.

He’s been hanging around with Soap long enough to pick up what most of the slang he says means, but when you and Soap get together and speak more broadly, he doesn’t always 100% know what you’re talking about.

Would probably wind you up a lot once he gets comfortable with you - and definitely imitates your accent a lot.

He’d get used to your accent after a while and would also act as a translator if Soap isn’t there to do so.

Captain John Price

Honestly he probably would understand the majority of what you were saying - he’s been around a lot of different people during his time in the military so he gets the gist.

Sometimes though, he genuinely hasn’t the foggiest.

(Y/N): It’s awfa dreich the day, isn’t it, Sir?

Price: … it’s what??

Queue his confused expression when he finds out you were talking about the weather…

I think he’d learn quickly though - wouldn’t try and use the slang or anything, he knows he would probably butcher it.

Soap would have to translate sometimes for him, especially over comms - it would be like this part from Hot Fuzz

Generally would elect to ignore most of you and Soap's antics - watching you two bounce off each other like ping-pong balls all day would give him a migraine, so unless you break anything or make arses of yourselves, he'll let you off with it.

Tried Scottish Tablet for the first time after you made it - and had to lecture Soap who tried to eat the boiling sugary mixture out of the pot with a spoon...

Also was pleasantly surprised when you brought him some Scottish Whisky that he'd mentioned that he wanted to try.

Congratulations, you're now his favourite.

Alejandro Vargas

Oh, he loves it - has no clue what you're saying half the time but he's just happy listening to you and Soap talking away to each other.

I can see him imitating you a lot - half of the time it's to wind you up, but he genuinely thinks some Scots words are hilarious and loves to throw them into a sentence.

Even if the way he's using them sometimes just doesn't sound quite right.

Definitely gets confused when slang gets introduced into the mix.

Alejandro: So 'how' means 'why'? And 'ken' means you know something? Mi Amor, this is confusing...

If you have a strong personality and or a temper - he's smitten.

I think he likes fire in a partner *cough cough Valeria cough* so if you and Soap are tearing up the battlefield practically roaring through comms, he's definitely going to be asking you out once the mission's over.

Rudy Parra

Like Alejandro, he has no clue what you're saying more than half the time.

He's too polite to tell you outright though, so I can see him just doing the little awkward smile.

He'd learn quickly though, so while it might take him a bit to fully understand, he'll get the gist.

Konig

Poor guy has no clue what's going on.

He understands what Soap's saying about 70% of the time, and that's just from being around him long enough to pick up on his dialect.

But to hear a new accent with new slang on top of it, he's back to square one again.

If you're Glaswegian or from areas of Scotland where people tend to speak quite fast, he's just going to blink at you in confusion when you speak, trying to figure out what you said.

You'd probably have to teach him a fair bit of local slang and some Scots otherwise he'd literally never know what you were on about.

Learns quickly though.

Added a wee glossary for the Scots / slang used above ~

Foostie* - Decayed, dusty. Wired to a Mars bar* - I don’t know if this is said in other areas but where I’m from it basically means that someone is either an idiot or is insane, like they’re wired to a Mars bar (chocolate bar) instead of a battery. TLDR; They’re a headcase.

[kimyoonmiauthor]

What are you writing? Queer joy and Queer rage in white spaces? And other PoC queer musings.

So basically I'm writing Queer rage for one novel, which covers a wide range of subjects besides queerness, such as most of the LGBTQIA things, and racism, ableism, disablism, etc. And what does it exactly mean to be a feminist while doing those things?

That novel, when I describe it gets zero push back. It's issues everyone knows, though I challenge pretty deep on some of the more messy bits that probably won't make straight people happy. Doing call outs and call ins along the way... but I'm sure white feminists will have deep issues with it or whatever.

The novel I have the most pushback on, so far, is the queer joy one. It's not a white setting, but white queers are upset at me on several ways I do it. I said something on the order of, Nuke the European gender binary in an other world planet and be delighted at making cis people question their gender identity, and the white queers were upset at me and then went onto tone policing.

The thread went to hell, when really, I was writing a culture that's approximately East Asian (I studied vastly well for this)? And the European binary shouldn't figure into it, and people got super upset at the idea I would do this? But it's not as if white straight people haven't nuked the gender binary before.

There's Ursula Le Guin and Neil Gaiman for example.

Iunno, I did the due diligence as a NB PoC, and did look at queer history of East Asian countries and pulled from that, which has more Third gender acceptance across the board, and if you look, it's less sanitized.

Japan constantly, constantly plays with gender in ways that make my NB self fall in love. Even the straight authors play around with X-Gender, etc. Watase Yuu also played with it where a character wanted to become female in one of their lesser known manga. I loved that manga, BTW, because probably before I knew, it covered a lot of the feels I had, and some of the weirdness of gender for me.

Have you read Blue Wars? I mean, Sooo good. And a Cis person wrote it.

Besides that, there is also Go Go Princess. Gender squishy bisexual (at least, if not pan) delight it is. The Beauty Inside (I liked the movie more than the drama, but both are good). And a ton of media where there are gender body swaps. (I love those). And I mildly like the cross dressing ones–though we need more men dressing up as women too in non-threatening ways. (which white people also take umbrage to–cishet people dressing up as the opposite sex, how dare you--it's anti-trans. But it's part of the folktales of the countries I cited.) But I like the magical ones better. And no one flags it and goes, you know what this needs, the pain of trans medical surge– and hormones, because that's trans-ness and you're really disrespecting trans people by not including it. But it isn't... often ironically and to my delight of anti-terfness, it's a challenge about what? Sexism. Ha! We got ya!

And after a while, sometimes I feel like the categorization of Nonbinary itself in this confined white definition feels, iunno, limiting. But I also feel like I'm not allowed to say that out loud or something. I'm betraying my NB status. After all, all of the guides about nonbinary-ness are written for a white straight audience in mind, saying things like NBs will really mind if you talk about their assigned birth sex and it's a betrayal to NB status to talk about their assigned sex. And maybe *psst* write about them having *gasp* sex with body parts and how dare you? Oh, but don't forget the NB PoCs out there. But do default to They, even if the NB community doesn't feel evenly about this... because you see, you really, really need the cis audience out there to know this character is NB. Even if there are people out there that use he/him/his and she/her/hers. Mind the cis audience, folks, you need to be consistent.

And I know I'm not all of NB-dom here, but I don't particularly feel this way. I delighted in Ranma 1/2 before I knew I was NB, though it kinda missed out on that gooey part of NBness for me, where you feel like neither or mixed. But I'm not allowed to do this, even if Ranma 1/2 is a romance of sorts...

I'm more like, whatever I could get tomorrow I'd take it, type. I love, love media that challenges cissexism and cisness. But my opinions aren't reflected in the white writing guides about NBs. You have to be super careful and not laissez faire. How dare you want to write NB romance where you talk about sex changes? Don't you know the dysphoria and how disrespectful it is to talk about NB bodies? duhn duhn duhn, you betrayed all of NBdom by giving fuel to the transphobes by talking about *gasp* their assigned sex. What will the straight people think?

But I don't feel that way. Maybe because the rigidity found inherent in European gender systems isn't in East Asia as much. I mean the super strict to the point that people lose their sense of morality type of gender correction. So I kind of feel like I'm floating in this liminal space of needing to bend to some white ideal of what queerness needs to be while lusting really hard to be given the freedom to express what I want to show it to be because my ideas of gender are "wrong" and "anti-queer" when I am queer and am trying to express my ideas of queerness and joy in being queer but being told my version of queerness isn't white enough, and thus anti-queer?

How does that work exactly?

So in order to reorder the gender system to automatically include NBs, I decided to nuke the entire gender system, which meant I had to also rework the sexual orientation section as well because it depends a lot on cis-ness to work in a European model, and thus kicks out NBs, which NBs then complain about. No one remembers that people felt "betrayed" when Elliot Page came out as Trans? I wanted to rework the system so there wasn't anything like that. I wanted a more inclusive system that celebrated trans-ness, NBness and Queerness without this reshuffling effect. And this also upset people. But I'm telling you with the strength of my degree, sexual orientation hasn't worked the same over time either, and me wanting to basically turn this thing around *in a story* and rework the sexual orientation system along with the gender system also gets people really upset.

Neil Gaiman got it. His angels don't have sex organs, so... how can you call them "gay" or "Bi" when their bodies are effectively androgynous?

But PoC NB questioning the shape of things and wanting to remake a world to accept more NBness by reshaping this, in *fiction* somehow is a threat?

So this is where I am at.

I did a hand wave in my fiction world and allowed characters to do consensual changing of their sex. 'cause East Asian fiction, presently and historically doesn't mind that much (though out of the public eye most of the time of international fans.) But I also didn't want to somehow "erase" the transness with it. I wanted to be honest that even if they change their physical sex, that there is still trans-ness inherent in it. And people don't really want to talk about how sometimes transitioning can change your sexuality and sexual orientation, but I wanted to talk about it in a way that wasn't all doom and gloom and about how horrible and how it betrays this sense of sexual orientation and identity to stay one sexual orientation all your life–because you must, or you betray all of queerdom. (What if the straights find out?) Fuck, do I have to think about straight people when writing queer joy? Apparently queer people want to remind you about the straights.

And then I have effectively the equivalent of bi, pan, omni, poly, lesbians, and gays running around in the world, which I suppose people will label the characters as anyway, even if I recategorized the sexual orientation boxes to neatly fit NBs. I wanted to allow for sexual orientation fluidity as well, which often the labels of bi, etc don't allow. 'cause I'm one of those really liberal queers that like talking about how some people have split attractions to different genders and some people are more attracted to one gender over another, which doesn't mean they hate that gender outright, which then the queer community feels iffy about, but I'm like, bring it on. Let's talk about people who are attracted to all genders who are only attracted to other people who are attracted to all genders. Is it wrong? No. Why should it be? It's not fetishization.

I also nuked a lot of the Victorian idealism over sex because in my research, such prudishness to that degree was a later imposition and I wanted to be sex positive (as an ace too) and also not quite historically accurate. 'cause sex positivity isn't automatically anti-ace or anti-queer, though some writing guides seem to make it out to be. And I didn't want to impose European imperialism on a world that effectively has no white people and has more trade cooperatives than imperialism (because there is a bigger threat usually than that). (No gulf stream... and the planet is warmer too, so no really white people, which people really got upset about. Eat it. You get your all white worlds somehow, with an equator and no Gulf Stream which makes no sense, then I get to have a PoC-dominate world with actual astronomy and geography behind it.)

Still Ace, but recognizing Sex workers as valid people and that regulation is better than none is totally something I do. I write frankly about sex too, 'cause ummm... Aces write about sex. Aceness is limited, conditional or no sexual attraction. And some Aces who are sex repulsed, also love to write smut. So... but I'm also told that's not the correct aceness by people who aren't ace?

Am I not allowed to write romance as an aromantic either? Even if I've actually experienced romance before? 'cause guess what? Aros also have romance too.

And yeah, I wrote some aces and aros in. 'cause I can.

But apparently I'm not doing it right. It's too neat, it's too messy, it's too PoC and not white queer enough. What about those Victorian values of never talking about body parts by their correct name in a fit of sex shaming and secrecy? Why can't I write that?

I didn't know Queer joy could be so, so decisive an issue. How dare you take away my label in a fictional world so you can include NBs in that world?

Wait until they see how I nuked the adoption system using historical cases... Ah, then they'll be really upset.

BTW, I'd 100% be down for a Lesbian or a Gay planet. Or a Pan paradise... (hopefully done better than Orville and Star Trek?)

[meadow-dusk]

🕺🏻 Do you have a particular style or "genre"?

❤️ Who are your primary influences?

🦋 From where do you derive inspiration?

📝 Do you have a "process" or a formula, or is it more freeform?

👯 Have you ever collaborated with someone else?

🤔 Do titles come easily or are they a pain to come up with?

🦕 What's the longest song you've written?

🦄 What's the weirdest song you've written?

TY!!!🥰🖤

woahhhh 😮 thank you! okay let's have some fun...!

🕺🏻 Do you have a particular style or "genre"? It's definitely not something you're gonna crank up for a workout or a road trip or an impromptu kitchen dance party...but maybe you'd like to hang out in a coffee house where I was playing! all the music I've shared so far is here @castles-to-canyons if you wanna check it out!

❤️ Who are your primary influences? First and foremost and not surprisingly to anyone, Neil Young. He's both an influence and a muse....and a mentor (even if he doesn't know he's any of those things). But everyone in CSNY somehow touches what I try to do, as does Joni Mitchell. I think some of my experience growing up with country music in the 90s and in Catholic choir also bleeds into the music I write, especially in the melodies.

🦋 From where do you derive inspiration? Just from things I love or whatever's weighting on my mind.

📝 Do you have a "process" or a formula, or is it more freeform? I have really done it all kinds of ways at this point. My favorite are the ones that come all at once and are ready in under an hour lol

👯 Have you ever collaborated with someone else? In progress now! It's difficult to do this across the world.

🤔 Do titles come easily or are they a pain to come up with? Usually pretty easy, and if I have no clue I name it something random from the lyrics or something about where I was when I wrote it.

🦕 What's the longest song you've written? I have one called "Remember" which is clocking in around 7 minutes

🦄 What's the weirdest song you've written? My D-modal thing!! I don't even know if half of the chords in it are real chords cause I never play in that tuning. I keep meaning to learn but I wanna leave this one this way as a baseline.

thanks for all these! 💕💕💕

[aftgficrec]

You know what i could really go for rn and like all the time? Andrew povs where he’s so GONE for neil like completely enamored and Neil has no idea I know there’s a lot of fics like that where it’s neil thats in love like thatt but come on andrew started crushing on neil from day two where’s the yearning fics

Oh, Andrew does plenty of pining! Apart from the fics in this post, check out our previous recs as well, you’ll find some real gems in there. Enjoy the yearning! - S

From previous posts:

Andrew Minyard, hopeless gay disaster here

Pining Andrew here

Teenage Andrew with a crush on Neil here

‘dating & other disasters’ here

‘sixth magnitude stars’ here

‘Andrew Minyard: Tiny Gay Disaster’ here

‘Do I Wanna Know?’, ‘Vintage Inspired’ and ‘all i want (is love that lasts)’ here

‘Surreal But Nice’ here

‘i think i'm falling, i'm falling for you’ here

‘The Art Of Speaking In Flower’ here

‘Not Another Highschool AU’ and ‘full offense but that is the stupidest thing’ here

‘always you’ here

‘this is me trying.’ here

‘wreck my plans’ and ‘Andrew Minyard's Diary’ here

‘Secrets & Santas’ here

‘not jealous’ here

‘do you like scary movies?’ here

‘Hold on to let go’ here

‘Free Cigarettes’ and ‘The New Normal’ here

‘venus as a boy’ (now complete) here

‘Life's a Beach’ here

‘i wouldn't leave you if you'd let me’ here

‘Light Me Up’ here

‘All I really wanna do is love you’ here

‘let the bells ring on a fool's holiday’ here

‘heaven and hell (were words to me)’ here

‘it suits you’ here

‘Just Another Typical Ranch AU’ here

‘falling’ here

Finding You by Willow_bird [Rated T, 16654 words, incomplete, last updated June 2021]

Andrew huffed in amusement and looked back down at the boy, nudging him with his shoe.

"Better luck next time," he offered, not insincerely.

"Fuck you," the boy shot back, still breathless from the hit. He looked right up at Andrew when he said it, too, expression tight with pain and rage and -- oh no.

Fuck he was pretty. Shit. Fuck. Shit fuck shit no. This wasn't fucking fair.

---

It's 'The Foxhole Court', from Andrew's POV, where everyone has daemons, and Andrew is a bit of a disaster gay.

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced abuse

splish splash by Ominous [Rated T, 7330 words, complete, 2021]

Andrew hates waterparks, so there’s no real reason he should be climbing up this hill to ride one of the poorly built waterslides on a scorching hot day.

Somewhere from above, he hears the shrill noise of a lifeguard whistle, and a shiver runs down his spine that has nothing to do with the water dripping off of him. His grip tightens around the inner tube he has slung over his shoulder, the sticky latex trying to become one with his sunburnt skin.

There just had to be a cute lifeguard…

the passenger by scribbleb_red [Rated T, 6520 words, complete, 2021]

He's back again.

The man with the scars in his eyes.

Andrew watches as he gets into the nearly empty carriage, all coiled muscle and too sharp gaze. He clocks Andrew quickly, mouth tightening into what could have been a smile or a grimace.

AKA: The Morning AU where there's a stranger on the same train as Andrew Minyard, crime correspondent for the NYT, and he's pretty sure that there's a story to unearth. He just doesn't know if he should tell it.

tw: implied/referenced torture

foul play by Stjosten [Rated T, 4207 words, complete, 2021]

Andrew's roommates play D&D. Neil is just a surprising side benefit.

Blue Eyes, Pipe Dreams by Shklance_Beef_Sandwich [Rated M, 18250 words, complete, Aftg Reverse Big Bang 2021]

Andrew doesn’t do crushes, never has, never will. What he does is the odd hookup when he’s feeling pent-up, preferably in a nightclub bathroom with as much anonymity as he can get.

So why is he so hung up on those blue eyes and that auburn hair he’s only been able to see from a distance? Why is he feeling almost desperate to be able to talk to this figure skating mystery man?

tw: implied/referenced abuse

NB: find art for this fic by @neptuneglowz here and here

so maybe tonight I'll be the libertine by foxyexy [Rated M, 10807 words, complete, Aftg Big Bang 2020]

Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard have been best friends since they were small. But attending college halfway across the country from each other has strained their relationship, and Andrew won’t take it anymore — as soon as term is over, they’re going on the road trip of a lifetime.

Andrew can absolutely handle spending the entire summer with Neil in the passenger’s seat, sharing hotel rooms and cigarettes and diner booths. Because he’s definitely not in love with him.

It’ll be fine.

tw: self harm, tw: vomit, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: scars, tw: anxiety

NB: find art for this fic by @n0ahdraws here

The Deep & Dying Breath of You by TheBashfulPoet [Rated M, 22874 words, complete, Aftg Reverse Big Bang 2019]

When he sees the ad, Andrew decides that he has nothing better to do so he might as well spend the summer in isolation. He thought it would be almost peaceful, no nagging boss or coworkers that don't understand personal space, just him his typewriter and miles of forest he was expected to keep from burning down. What he doesn't expect is the surly voice that floats over the radio and turns his world upside down. He doesn't expect to find himself waiting for another kind of fire instead (one that just may eat him alive if he's not careful).

tw: nightmares, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced torture

NB: find art for this fic by @requiemofkings here

Like A Hazy Summer Morning by shadowdreams [Rated G, 7402 words, complete, 2019]

Andrew falls for a YouTuber. Neil falls for a guy in his local café.

That's the story.

Like a River by moonix [Rated T, 65259 words, complete, 2017]

Andrew was a statistical anomaly. He was both a Seer and a Squib, an unfortunate combination of genetic traits that still somehow got him into Hogwarts. He had both hands full babysitting Kevin Day, resident Quidditch prodigy, after the drama with Riko Moriyama in fifth year, and making sure his brother finished his last year of education after the death of their mother. What he did not need was another stray to take in – Neil Hatford, formerly Nathaniel Wesninski, prominent guest in Andrew's prophetic dreams with his blue, blue eyes and death omens flocking to him wherever he went. What he needed even less was to start pretending they were in a relationship, but then, Andrew never had been very interested in doing what was good for him.

tw: scars; tw: violence; tw: implied/referenced past abuse; tw: panic attacks; tw: homophobic language

[mourntheantagonist]

This is one of my favs :D:

Billy can't properly use his hands for a while. They hurt too much still. They get tired and sore as fuck if he over-uses them(as his whole body, really). So when he's released from the hispital. Steve offers to take him home and help him until he recovers he doesn't really have an alternative but accept (Because the other is come back to a living hell with Neil, and Billy is too hurt already to como back to that). And its so hard at first. He makes it so hard for Steve, even if he *knows* he's just trying to help him. But Billy's pride hurts even worse than the rest of him. So it takes a while. A long struggle of Steve helping him dress and undress, carry heavy things for him, help him even feed, shower, brush his fucking teeth but he's so tender, so patient that Billy can't help the way he's falling in love with him when sometimes Steve takes his hands and night, maybe when they're on the couch, absently watching the tv, and ask "how much there hurt today?" because he knows nights are when they're at their worst, and then rubs at them gently, one by one, without any rush, soothing the pain, relieving the tension, working his fingers into Billy's tired flesh and Billy doesn't want him to ever let go (Of his hands. Of him. Of the way Steve Harrington makes him hurt)

Oh my god I love this one!

Because Billy has learned to live his life independently ever since he was a kid. He learned not to ever rely on anyone else for anything, because the last person he relied on left him. So he tries to do everything on his own and refuses to ask for help.

That’s why he was so hesitant to go and live with Steve after he was released from the hospital. It felt more to him like an act of pity and even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to manage on his own, he didn’t want to be coddled.

When he first arrived to the Harrington household, he figured that he might need help with major things like getting up the stairs and other difficult tasks, but soon he came to realize that even the smallest things you wouldn’t even think about became an agonizing chore. It starts when he tries dressing himself for the first time and he can’t fasten the button on this jeans. Not only does it hurt like hell to use his hands that way, but he’s lost a lot of feeling to where he continuously fumbles trying to get it through the hole. After trying for far too long and leaving a lasting ache in his hands, he opts for a pair of sweats. He is able to secure the tie but after one too many close encounters in the bathroom, he decides to leave it undone in the future for easy access.

And then there comes showering. A very hands on task. He is able to wash his hair with ease but he can’t for the life of him hold on to the bar of soap. His hand will spasm regularly causing him to drop it onto the floor. (perhaps there’s an innuendo there). So he is forced to wash his body with the same shampoo that was used to wash his hair.

Over the course of a week he starts to figure out more mundane tasks that he can’t seem to do anymore. He can’t floss without causing his gums to bleed, he doesn’t even bother thinking about shaving. He can barely sit through a meal requiring cutlery before he has to stop, excusing it as just being full, but in actuality his hand is cramping like a mother fucker and he can’t hold the spoon in his grip anymore.

Every night they hurt like hell. And it’s not a sharp pain. It’s like a dull pain similar to when you try to use a leg that’s fallen asleep. Like a knuckle that won’t crack. And it’s not like a bullet or stab wound. It’s not like a bruise. There’s no visual indication that it hurts, and sometimes Billy thinks it’s all in his head. So he just runs his hands under ice cold water until they turn blue because he favors the numbness. And he doesn’t tell Steve.

And Steve begins to notice these things. He notices how Billy doesn’t wear jeans, he notices the strong familiar scent of lavender, he notices the hair growing in on Billy’s face even though he had bought him razors, but he has no idea what these little details mean until one night where the two decided to watch Saturday Night Live together.

Steve brings Billy a can of coke from the kitchen and without even thinking Billy tries opening it. He slips his knuckle under the tab and instantly winces in pain, dropping the open soda can onto the floor, spilling its contents all over the carpet.

And Steve has stored all those little details in his mind and instantly pieces it all together.

“Your hands hurt.” He says it like its a fact, not a question.

“Yeah no shit.” Billy replies.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t need your help Harrington. I’m doing fine on my own.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “You sure? Because it looks to me like you just avoid doing things that involve your hands. You haven’t shaved and god your breath is rancid.” Steve is expecting the signature Hargrove comeback but instead he looks over at Billy and his eyes are wide and he looks like he’s nervous. It’s a look Steve doesn’t think he’s ever seen on that face. Quickly Steve backtracks. “I didn’t mean to be so harsh. Look, I’m here to help you out, so you gotta tell me this shit.”

“I can’t do anything.” It’s barely audible. Steve watches as a single tear drops from his cheek to the floor.

Steve carefully walks closer to Billy and takes a hand in each, gently holding them by his fingertips.

“Which one hurts more?” He asks, and Billy shakes his right hand.

Steve lets go of his left and forms Billy’s right into a fist. He then warps both his hands around the closed fists and squeezes gently. The all encompassing pressure allows Billy to actually feel his entire hand for the first time in a while. It’s successful at distracting from the pain and Billy just leans into it because it just feels so good.

“Let me help you.”

[primatechnosynthpop]

Somehow a very simple drawing idea spiraled into me Thinking About Things.... I didn't end up doing any additional drawings for the concepts I wound up considering (aside from some notebook doodles that didn't turn out good enough to post) but I'm putting some ramblings under the cut (ID in alt text)

So, suppose Neil does encounter Yotsuba Koiwai in the field instead of the bad luck demon. How'd she end up in Massachusetts? Don't think too hard about it, but let's assume that she got lost somehow and is wandering around all by herself. Hey, actually, maybe this is from before her dad adopted her... or in an au where he never met her? Hmm, much to think about right off the bat. Anyway...

Neil decides that she's a good luck charm because of her hair and he cheerfully shows her off to Ryan and Kevin. They decide to take her home with them (because they're a bunch of bozos who don't consider the ramifications of something like that)

Yotsuba is kind of confused by these guys and their whole deal ("New kids? Ahaha, but you're grown-ups!") But they make a good impression on her because she's never met grown-ups who hang out in fields picking clovers and flying kites before. It's weird but it's also fun, y'know?

You know how the second scene from the lost episode was supposed to be them building a house of cards? I think they're still doing that while Yotsuba is sitting on the floor next to them stacking blocks. Eventually she says she's hungry; cue the "oh geez what do kids like??" discussion

She says she likes milk so they give her some "milk chocolate" to tide her over while Ryan cooks her something

K: Ryan's a good cook, y'know. He makes a deadly batch of cookies, literally.

N: Geez, don't put it like that, you're gonna make her think we're trying to poison her or something! [Aside] You're not putting any poison in there, are you, Ryan?

R: What was that? Put poison in this?

N&K: NO DON'T!!

It's fine, he makes a normal plate of curry or something and Yotsuba loves it enough that she decides to keep hanging out with them

We already know Kevin is good with children because his introduction as a character is him entertaining a kid and he canonically ends up with grandkids as an old man. He takes Yotsuba to the park and they play catch with a football

However, the football accidentally hits her in the face and she becomes distrustful of him from that point, much to his chagrin

Now clearly nkotr doesn't take place in the same universe/timeline/whatever as the video "MarcoBat16 Visits Neil Cicierega" but I'm going to borrow a bit of lore from that video and say that Neil is protective of his puppets and doesn't want other people touching them. This causes a bit of tension at first but the issue dissolves once Neil and Ryan bring out some other puppets and toy-type things that they don't mind if Yotsuba borrows

On that note I think Yotsuba is just young enough not to register anything about Ryan as creepy or weird. Like you know those stories about little kids who love scary monster animatronics or whatever because they haven't been taught that those things are scary yet? It's like that. Ryan is like "and here's my weird mannequin head and my voodoo doll!" and Yotsuba is like "wow awesome!! :D"

I also think that she braids his hair and puts lots of bows in it and stuff. She's never met a guy with long hair before so this is an exciting new opportunity for her

Neil tries to teach her to play video games and it doesn't work at all, she's still too little to really get how the games work and just hammers madly on the buttons. He somehow takes this as another sign that she's a good luck charm, because ever since he started playing against her he always wins!

Kevin makes several attempts to win back Yotsuba's good graces, including introducing her to Rocky because kids generally like dogs. This backfires because Rocky jumps up and barks too loud, which startles Yotsuba. She warms up to the dog quickly enough, though

What finally does succeed in getting Yotsuba to trust and like Kevin again is him agreeing to lend her some money so she can buy candy after both Neil and Ryan told her no

Assuming that the premise here is just that Yotsuba got extremely lost while visiting overseas, this would be about when her dad finally finds her and takes her home. HOWEVER, assuming that this is a timeline where Mr. Koiwai never adopted her....

After she hangs out with them for... let's say a couple of weeks? The new kids decide she should "start pulling her weight" and get her to help them out with filming their next webisode. She has lots of fun with the camera, but they don't really teach her how to use it (they assume she already knows even though there's no reason why she should know something like that) so all the shots are really unfocused with lots of shaky cam and poor framing, etc.

But it's too late to re-record so they submit it to the studio as like an avante-garde found footage piece and the studio actually approves

After a quick "background check" to make sure she's not going to turn out like Spencer (she passes this test with flying colours because she doesn't even understand the concept of liking things ironically, or know what Myspace is or what onion rings are) they officially welcome Yotsuba onto the team :3 Her theme colour is green, of course

[idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf]

G U Y S

I know I cry a lot about Max, Nikki, and Neil but can I just say that I live for their dynamic? And imma just throw a lot of observations about them here and this may get incoherent but whatever?

1.) They're actually pretty touchy-feely with each other and god I never noticed until recently but like??? They a r e??? Like Neil putting his hand on Max's back in Jermy Fartz. Like how Max grabbed Nikki's hand and d r a g g e d her away from the danger in Night Of The Living Ill. Or how Nikki just kinda clung to Neil when she was sick in the episode Into Town. Or how Nikki grabbed the boys into a hug in the Christmas Special. Even as early as the first episode they were grabbing each other and Max put his arms around the other's shoulders to guide them away. I know a lot of us are like "they aren't really the publicly clingy or affectionate types" but the thing is that they really kinda are. We don't always see it because it's not called attention to all that often but next time you watch an episode that's heavily trio centred count how many times they touch each other casually and you'll see what I mean. For example, I counted four casual grabs and touches in Spooky Island. Which doesn't seem like much. Until you remember the fact that this is a ten minute episode, and that's a touch every 2.5 minutes on average. Which IS a lot. Not to mention how damn close they were. There were quite a few moments where I fully expected them to grab each other or something because they were just completely invading one another's personal space.

Look how close they stand to one another. Compare this to normal conversation distance

When in a conversation generally your attention is locked onto the other person. Generally you'll stand closer to someone if you're talking to them than if you're not. Yet the two images I showed you before are of Max, Nikki, and Neil NOT talking or even really acknowleging one another. Compare that to the screenshot of Nikki actually engaged in conversation with Jasper.

If you thought maybe the former three images were just a perspective issue or something...no. Max, Nikki, and Neil genuinely do stand abnormally close. Look at this picture where Max and Nikki have literally no reason to leave a huge gap from Jasper yet they still do.

And when I said they disreguarded personal space I don't even mean standing this strangely close to each other?!? I mean like when Nikki threw herself two inches away from Max to the point where he jumped back a little. I mean like when Max pointed at Neil and Neil had to move his body a little because he was startled by how close it was. I mean like when Nikki leaned across Neil to jab her finger in Max's personal space, effectively getting abnormally touchy with both of them at the same time. Note that all these observations are from ONE EPISODE that's only ten minutes long! Imagine everything that could be observed if I went out of my way to check how touchy they were in every episode? This is especially impressive if we look at who we're talking about. Max is the type to reject touching from people. He's brushed off or shoved away other's who try to touch him multiple times. But not these two.

2.) Max is a l o t softer with Nikki and Neil than with anyone else. Again, let's take Spooky Island for example. When they discover the torture chamber, Max has absolutely no issues whatsoever telling Jasper the fuck off. He taunted Jasper, who was clearly frightened, going "Oh no! We have to find ghosts and monsters! Remember?!?" And keep in mind he was mocking and yelling here. Then Neil interjects and you know what? Max's tone actually softens. Yeah he still tells Neil that he's wrong. But Max isn't nearly as hostile. He sure as hell didn't mock or taunt Neil. And what's more? Max didn't say one word to Nikki. Yeah when he first walked in he started to tease her but as soon as she made it clear that she was frightened he just completely stopped and turned his attention onto Jasper. And you can see this in a l o t of episodes, not just this one. Max is still a jerk with Nikki and Neil but he doesn't cross the line. He doesn't yell for too long. Max...he doesn't want to hurt them. He doesn't want to see them fail. He doesn't want them angry or god forbid sad. Max may hurt them sometimes but he doesn't fuck with them just for the sake of upsetting them. And especially in early seasons, that's more than can be said for anyone else because he does go out of his way to torment the other's and he's never been as openly apologetic for anything in his life than for the few times he has upset Nikki and Neil. It's also worth noting that Neil is more gentle with Nikki than other's. For example he expects her to ruin his experiments and just gets kinda salty about it after but he clearly forgives her? Max and Neil also forgave her when she betrayed them for Ered in Camp Cool Kidz. Like..immediately. With no bargaining. They were back to hanging out together instantly before Nikki even apologized.

3.) They're always together. I think I made a separate post about this? But it's the truth. They eat together. They sleep in the same tent (actually I'm not sure? Max said in episode 1 "I'll show you to our tent" and they have no issues sneaking out together all the time in the middle of the night- note that they don't all have that much access to technology so coming up with a time to meet up may be hard- implying that Nikki sleeps with them? And there are only two 'beds' I think but doubling up doesn't seem that unlikely for these three? So until proven otherwise I'm assuming they sleep in the same tent). They have DAILY adventures together. Like scheduled. Like they gotta spend it together. In Eggs Benefits Max wanted nothing to do with the adventure yet he followed Nikki and Neil anyway and spent the whole day letting Nikki drag him around despite whining the whole time. In Spooky island both Nikki and Neil want to leave at different points of the episode but they continue to follow Max anyway. These three really do just stick together all the time and maybe they've been branching off a bit more lately but they still spend a hell of a lot of time together? Like most of their time if I'm not mistaken?

4.) Nikki and Neil are...really protective over Max? Like I'm sorry but did you guys see the Foreign Exchange Campers episode? The moment Max decided to team up with someone else they flipped their shit. I mean, Max literally told them it was just so he could win. It was clear he wasn't actually choosing the other campers over Nikki and Neil? Like it's obvious they were still friends? Yet we still got lines like "What about us? We're kinda a thing!", "We dont need you anyway Max! And even if we did, we're just going to pretend we don't in the hopes that you'll be jealous and we won't feel as sad!", "I just can't believe he would ditch us! After all our adventures?!?", and "He looks so happy! At least he's found someone who can make him smile" like, god, they treat this like a breakup or something when Max just wanted to win the contest. Like they knew it wasn't personal. They knew he was just being a jerk and he didn't like the Foreign kids more than them. Yet look at this.

Look at these creeps watching him from the bushes instead of competing!

They were so volatile too? They called Brian "Kim-Chi" despite knowing damn well that Nurf wasn't calling him the right name. Nikki literally yelled "Shut up commie" at Vera. I believe Neil outright told them point blank "Max is OUR friend and you can't have him!".

This isn't the only example of them being defensive about Max (almost to a fault) but it's the biggest one off the top of my head.

5.) They l o v e each other. Nikki saying "You know what else I love about Christmas? You guys (Max and Neil)" or Neil saying "We were so afraid of foreigners taking what we love (Max) that we.." , etc. Like??? They're so very sweet? They really love each other guys and I'm screaming because they're so good? And Max hasn't outright said he loves them but god, we know he does. Like how he "didn't do this camp campbell" but "for you guys (Nikki and Neil)" when he pulled off this difficult convoluted scheme to get the camp back. They love and care about and support one another even with all their issues and it's just so good? And the trio's overall relationship is ignored way too much. Can we just..please..talk about them more? As a trio? Please?