#neil breen gif

[astralbondpro]

Cade: The Tortured Crossing (2023) // Dir. Neil Breen

[junkfoodcinemas]

Fateful Findings (2013) dir. Neil Breen

[canadaloveselenasblog]

[britvarama]

[shandreen]

fell down a rabbit hole

So I searched on Tumblr for something I thought was so obscure and unreal. turns out this guy has a god damn cult following the person in question was Neil Breen. I only know of him because of my partner he loves this guy just because his movies are so bad they are good.

I mean myself I admire him for one thing he follows his dreams and that is something we all can aspire to. I have yet to find out what that is for me

[viewfromthelake]

[glisteningdaydream]

But in all honesty what classpect would Neil Breen have?

[changing-my-username]

Waiting for the new Neil Breen film to be released

[astralbondpro]

I Am Here... Now (2009) // Dir. Neil Breen

[subtle-carrot]

There's a new Breen?! And you guys didn't tell me? Shame!

Neil Breen - Cade: The Tortured Crossing (2023)

[junkfoodcinemas]

JUNKFOODCINEMAS PRESENTS SO BAD IT'S GOOD JUNK: PART 1

The Room (2003) dir. Tommy Wiseau

Troll 2 (1990) dir. Claudio Fragasso

Batman & Robin (1997) dir. Joel Schumacher

Samurai Cop (1991) dir. Amir Shervan

Fateful Findings (2013) dir. Neil Breen

Miami Connection (1987) dir. Y. K. Kim, Park Woo Sang

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010) dir. James Nguyen

Tammy and the T-Rex (1994) dir. Stewart Raffill

Mac and Me (1988) dir. Stewart Raffill

Super Mario Bros. (1993) dir. Rocky Morton, Annabel Jankel

[tadpole-apocalypse]

What are all the Neil Breen films you didn't include in that list?

All of them except Double Down, which is very dull and has too much stock footage, and Cade: The Tortured Crossing because while there are some great scenes in Cade, its waaaay too long and repetitive. I tried watching with my partner, who gave up ten minutes in.

I would pick Fateful Findings to show someone new to his films, since I think its his best one and has so many great iconic scenes. The coffee scene, the spinach scene, jim's death scene, the shower sex scene...and then the whole ending sequence! "It's a magical day!" is a common greeting now between my brother and I.

I feel pretty confident that even someone who's not experienced in movies of this...quality, it's an enjoyable experience of what-the-fuck-is-happening.

[britvarama]

[irohsteaa]

some people take the idea that you can't separate the art from the artist (an idea i generally agree with) too literally and without any nuance and it makes me want to throw books at laptops Neil Breen style

[sailorsenshishitposter]

Why Mario Party is always a bad idea

After the disaster that was last week, it was decided that group trips would only be allowed if Armstrong knew about the plans before hand. Even then it would still be his call to allow such an event happening. There was also the matter of needing certain members to be chaperoned after that codec incident. Armstrong sat at his desk and flung everything off of it like he was participating in a Neil Breen movie. The man sighed and lit a cigar. "Christ, what in the hell am I supposed to do now!?"

As he sat down trying to contemplate tomorrow's lesson he heard a strange voice coming out of the hall. Not this shit again! He ran and knocked down the door, confirming his suspicions. He was face to face? (Helmet?) with his employee. "Damn it Monsoon, how many times have I told you to keep it down in here!" The cyborg tried to protest but it was no use. Armstrong would not tolerate the Japanese and their "Hatsoone meekoos" anymore. He took the switch (controllers and dock included) and his massive binder of cartridges.

"You'll get these back at the end of the week. Now go to bed or do something that doesn't keep the entire building up!" Armstrong then opened the door and slammed it as he left. The cyborg let out a chuckle. "Anger, what an exquisite meme! For now I shall return to r/atheism!" And with that he zoomed to his gaming PC. Armstrong placed the console down and tried to massage his massive forehead bump. To be frank, he still had no idea for what he was going to do for tomorrow's lesson plan. Maybe he should just have everyone take the day off?

He opened the binder and cringed in disgust, remembering an incident with Sundowner. The man had to be taken to the operating table because he was curious why the cartridges tasted sour. It's not that they were poisonous to him, just that he decides to see how many he could eat before Monsoon cut him apart, demanding his game collection back or he would "cut them out" himself. Unfortunately they needed the Alabama man alive and couldn't risk his Cambodian boyfriend to play operation.

Armstrong flipped through the pages. "What is all this degenerate garbage? It's deseased, rotten to the core!" He kept looking until he spotted something familiar. "Ah, good old Mario. I remember you back from my collage days. Time does sure fly by!" He took a closer look. "Mario ... Party? Huh, never heard of it." Since there was no box (another relic from his days of youth) he picked up one of his laptops that somehow hadn't been smashed to oblivion and turned it on. After using Google he found out that it was an up to four multiplayer game. "Hmm. This gives me an idea."

It was now the next day and all four winds of destruction eagerly awaited their next assignment while waiting for their boss to arrive. The door opened and everyone settled down as Armstrong made his way to the front of the room. "Today's lesson plan will involve something different. I've realized that you all need a teambuilding exercise and should learn how to work together successfully. That is why I have brought out this." He took the contents out of the bag and placed them on the table.

"MY SWITCH!" Monsoon cried as he pointed his finger towards said item. "Oh boy!" piped Sundowner. "Do we get to eat anymore of those fancy chips?" The rest of the team all turned towards him and stared silently. Mistral started whispering to Sam. "He knows they're not actual potato chips right....?"  Suddenly Armstrong slammed his fists down. "I can't deal with this shit again! Look, I'm offering you all the chance to play Mario Party and you can take it or leave it. Which is it going to be?"

"Mario Party...." Their boss let out a laugh. "That's what I thought." Armstrong had no idea how the console worked so he handed it to Monsoon who was overjoyed to not have his device manhandled by giant hulk fists. Everything was ready to go except for the fact that there wasn't a television. Sam then stood up. "Don't worry, I'll take care of this." He leaped out the window and ran to the nearest Wal-Mart and bought one of their HDTV's. He raced back, carrying the electronic like it weighed no more than someone casually carrying their bag. "Here goes nothing!" He then proceeded to double jump to the height of their floor and launch himself into the open window. Monsoon used his magnetism to stop the television from crashing into the wall while Sam gently landed on his plush cheeks. The older man looked down at him. "How can you be so reckless?!" Sam pushed his hair aside. "Hey, I got the TV here in one piece didn't I?"

Everything was now set up and the group listened to the little jingle play as their boss sat down and tried to look through his cooking magazine. All four controllers were paired and now it was time to choose what character they would play as. Sundowner looked at Mistral and started to giggle. "What is it now?" The man tried to contain himself. "I bet a girlie like you is gonna pick peach!" Just then someone chose peach but it wasn't who he expected. "Sam, what the hell are ya playin' as a woman for?!" The other man grinned. "What can I say? I love the ladies and I've got an ass like a peach." Sundowner didn't have a response to that. Next thing he knew and Mistral had chosen Donkey Kong. "NOOOOOOOOO! I WANNA BE THA ONE TA GO APESHIT!" He was humiliated and now would have to choose another character. "Hey Monsoon! Let's be allies, whaddaya say! I'll be Wario and you Waluigi!" He looked at the man, desperate to have an advantage. "Sorry but you knew it was survival of the fittest when you started dating me." Then he chose Birdo.

"D'oh!" Sundowner then chose Wario while letting a single tear shed. No one knew which level to pick so they just kept it to default (Yoshi's Tropical Island). As they were going over the options, Sundowner had hoped they would keep the handicap mode on but there was no chance in hell that was happening. "What game mode should we choose guys?" Mistral voted for N64 (of course someone with multiple hands would have no problem playing with that kind of controller) while Monsoon picked GameCube. The Alabama man didn't have a particular choice but he was interested in carrying around his boyfriends head like the console he had chosen. In the end no one could agree so Sam chose the default settings.

Now it was time to roll the dice. Mistral scored a ten, while Monsoon rolled a seven. Sam had gotten a five and Sundowner... He had ended up with one. "I'M GONNA SPLIT THAT MUSHROOM SON OF A BITCH IN TWO!" Mistral then told him that it was just a game and that he needed to calm down. Oh well. At least they all started off with the same amount of coins. None of the rolls were particularly interesting yet. Then the first mini game appeared. "Hot rope jump?" It was everyone against each other so they would have to do their best. Sundowner chuckled and thought it would be no problem. The challenge started and he immediately lost. "HEY, MY FINGER SLIPPED! I DEMAND A REMATCH!" Everyone groaned. "It's kill or be killed! And you're the one who said you didn't need to try the practise option!"

That thankfully shut him up.  Sundowner then started snapping his fingers near Mistral's ears, causing her to lose. "BOSS!" Armstrong wasn't pleased to be woken up from his nap. "Strike one. Two more and it goes off!" That just left Monsoon and Sam who seemed evenly matched. "Give it up Sam! You know you can't beat a true gamer!" The Brazilian man gave a hearty laugh. "Oh please, I can do this all day!" He then tapped the button with so much speed that Peach began to double jump. Monsoon was stunned. "Wait what-" and then he had lost the match. "How did you do that?" Sam was confused. "Are you telling me that you guys can't double jump?" Sundowner then yelled at them to start the next round.

The rest of the game had gone rather well for Mistral, Monsoon and Sam. Sundowner on the other hand... He had landed on countless red spots, losing all of his coins. The one time that he had managed to get to a star before the others and he was flat out broke. He had also lost every mini game, the rest of the team joining up to make him lose when they could. Things could still change though. He finally managed to grab enough coins for one of the last stars. He then bought it and began to cackle. "I'M FUCKIN' INVINCIBLE!" The rest of the team didn't really care, already owning multiple at this point. It was eventually Monsoon's turn when the man decided to do some particularly cruel. He chose to use an item he had been saving. But not just any item.

Sundowner began to scream. "NO BABE, WAIT! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS I BEG OF YA!" It was too late. He had just stolen Sundowners star. The man looked up at his boyfriend, heartbroken. "Why....?" Monsoon went down on one knee and began to cradle his face. "War is a cruel parent but an effective teacher. It's final lesson is carved deeply in my psyche." Mistral and Sam had enough. "JUST GET ON WITH IT NERD!" The cyborg stuck his tongue out at them. "I'm doing this for your own good. You need to become stronger. Mario isn't even a real person!" Sundowner looked up at everyone with tears in his eyes. "Wait, he's not!?" Mistral then punched Monsoon with one of her many arms. "Way to go asshole! We've been keeping that a secret from him but now you've ruined it!" The man was confused. "I'm afraid I don't understand." Then they heard a loud crash and noticed Sundowner taking his rage out on the TV. "That's why." said Sam.

And with that Armstrong decided he would be banning anything Mario related from headquarters along with Cherry trees.

[nmpositive]

Website / Trailer for the new Neil Breen joint,

CADE - THE TORTURED CROSSING

just dropped, my man is making strides in his action scene direction.