#neg cw

[attroxx]

each year the pre bday depression gets worse.

[tierra-paldeana]

// i'm gonna be honest. i have plenty of rika muse still. i love my rika. i think about her every day. but i've been feeling so sad for the past few days for some reason i don't understand that it's really driven my confidence in writing her down to the core of the earth. i don't feel like i can bring the same quality anymore and it's really dragging me down. trying to take it easy focusing on other things until i feel good about myself again. it's not that i don't have muse, again, i still love her and i think abt her constantly - it's just as if my hands are not connected to my brain anymore, nothing flows, i'm stuck in a sorrowful mental block and aghhhhhhhhh make it STOP

anyway sorry if i take a long time to reply to things. there's a chance i just need to reflect on things and just take it easy

[glossolali]

neg cw

i don't talk a lot about gaming bc i don't do it regularly enough, but when i do, i commit like 400 hours to one game and then don't touch it again for ages. alas

anyway so let's talk games! let's talk about all these fucked up game factories that have ruined some truly iconic STELLAR games and series, just out of greed

- overwatch (when they lost kaplan and started fucking with balance on a weekly basis it was over tbh - also all the gross SH shit with Blizzard 😒)

- dragon age (veilguard was a flop technically - i have yet to play this properly, but dragon age fan friends have told me it feels rushed and not as well written as previous DAs and also clearly been Fortnite'd so it's more shiny and attractive AND look what EA just fkn did to BioWare lmao)

- the sims (dissolving maxis has reduced the quality of the games significantly and it's taken them almost 10 years to get back to their former glory, and not even - also EA prioritising financial gain over integrity, surprise..)

- cyberpunk 2077 (this almost goes without saying bc they've been raked over the coals over this, BUT have realised their mistake and recovered beautifully - still an example of corporate greed, that uhhh no execs in the game industry have learned shit from i guess)

- final fantasy (don't get me fuckin started lmao... it has simply not been the same since ff10 lbr - they had to remake ff7 to get people interested in FF again, and the most recent FF came out to no fanfare whatsoever, and tbh it's the most polished turd i have ever seen - although I have heard good things about FF14, despite its initial broken-ness)

I'm sure there's more - let's make a salt train!

This fuckery has got to be talked about more, and looking at the big picture too. They can't make the world hell and then also fuck with the alternate worlds that we use to escape and connect with others.

Not to mention all of the artists, designers, writers, techs that are a part of our communities getting laid off and fucked over

At least one of the good things about games is that if a game is compromised we can tell, and will vote with our money accordingly

huh it's almost like when you hurry art up before it's properly finished and overprice it to get more money sooner it reduces its quality and people can tell

wow 😦 what a concept

[moonridge]

ooc: venting a little

trying so hard to balance taking care of myself and feeling like people will be upset with me or not want to interact anymore if i am not Constantly doing things because i got that schweet rsd + bpd combo. being caught between i really want to do things but i don’t have the energy. it’s like the longer i don’t do things the worse i feel but if i try to force it im not taking care of myself. and i don’t wanna keep posting this stuff on main because i don’t want to drive people away or clog everything up but i am honestly such a mess rn

hewp… hewp me…

[destinybcnds]

[ hey so if I'm quiet or unresponsive for a bit it's because my roommate fucked up my mood even worse last night and sleeping it off didn't help much ✌🏻 ]

[rahbid]

i feel like canon characters/writers. never give my ocs a chance in the sense of power and combat ( without asking me about her feats or for explainations or her skillset/abilities ) and it's starting to make me Sad.

i understand that it's more difficult to quantify ocs since one doesn't have their immediate canon to rely on but im like ... here. to answer questions. and i don't wanna have a pissing contest or argue or fight with people, i just want a fair shake and to be listened to.

[faehrys]

you mentioning kwt all the time is your biggest red flag as a blog i think

then unfollow

[dreamhot]

i hope the primeboys meetup has a death toll

[tierra-paldeana]

// i love beig aboutto work on thigns only for it t start thunderingng i ahahte mylfie

[divile]

i'm unwell rn so if anyone wants to get my d.iscord hmu. i may make an rp specific d.iscord so i can just plop that shit on my blog but for now. i am using my personal private one. so send me a dm or 💖 this if interested n i'll shoot u it in a dm.

i love to write here i just don't have the energy to keep up with dash roleplay right now. i've got a lot of drafts (mostly memes i love all of u for sending them ty) and i'm feeling kinda sorta overwhelmed with how much i'm behind on (not just rp wise but also blog wise in general. like i still don't have my abouts up 💀) and i'm kinda between getting shit w my meds figured out so it's fucking things up majorly.

neways sorry for the mini vent i just don't wanna keep this blog in limbo with how i've been feeling lately, but i'm a lot more active on d.iscord and i'd love to write there too 🥺

[moonridge]

ooc: hjgrhgr

[lastoneout]

Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.

Edit: If everyone could please take a minute and think about what it must feel like to be struggling and then have multiple strangers say to your face that they find the prospect of going through what you're going through so horrifying that they'd rather kill themselves and then stop leaving comments like that I would greatly appreciate it.

[ly-kos]

Noxus being so horrible is also like the biggest reason why I hate noxian Mel.... Like guys I think there were other reasons Mel didn't deeply associate with being noxian other than just her mom bad...

[rahbid]

hi friends! sorry! i had an inkling to write but unfortunately my life is down the entire drain and this is probably at least a semi-hiatus announcement.

[faehrys]

hyperfixating on a creator you hate has got to be the saddest thing a person can do like at least leave the fans who express positive feelings towards that creator alone they don’t care that you’re miserable

[ly-cub]

I think the whole way ambessa and Mel's story went is such a disservice to both of them... Ambessa looks so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of noxus with her like idk 20 man army? And just killing her just before the year of noxus? That seems crazy to me. And I don't even want to start talking about how little I like Mel turning back over to become noxian