#needless to say that all these are very subjective

[theworldgate]

I have to explain what is going on in the UK, because it is absurd.

So, this is Gary Lineker:

He's known for a fair few things over here. He was a very good (association) footballer, playing for England in the 1986 and 1990 World Cups, winning the Golden Boot in 1986, and managing to never get a single yellow card in his playing career. He played for Leicester City, Everton, Barcelona, and Tottenham, before finishing his career in Japan. But if you aren't in your mid 30s, you probably know actually know him him for a couple of other things. The first is the role of spokesman for another Leicester icon, Walkers Crisps (which are sort of equivalent to Lays, but hit different), as pictured above. Despite being a notably clean player, he used to play a cheeky serial crisp thief. I don't think he's done that for well over a decade, but his ads were on the telly a lot when I was a kid and it's a bit like learning that the hamburglar was an incredibly clean (American) football player or something.

The second thing Gary is widely known for is having presented Match of the Day, the big football program on the BBC, the sort-of state broadcaster, since 1999. He is, incidentally, very well paid for this (though with a consensus that he could get even more if he went to one of the non-free-to-view broadcasters because he is very good at the job). He also has a twitter account. And political opinions. So, the UK government has got itself dead set upon doing heinous stuff that will totally somehow work to prevent people who want to come to the UK making the perilous crossing of the Channel (between England and France). By heinous, I mean "openly advertise that they won't attempt to protect victims of modern slavery" stuff. It's very obviously using a legal hammer to victimise a marginalised group of people in order to win votes. And, uh, I should clarify that by "legal" I mean "using the passage of laws" - the policy is, in addition to all the other ways it's awful, probably incompatible with the Human Rights Act and the UK's international law obligations. Gary, top lad that he is, objected to this. On Tuesday 7th March, he made a quote Tweet of a video of the Home Secretary, Suella Braverman, bigging up the policy, he wrote "Good heavens, this is beyond awful.". This got a bunch of backlash from extremely right-wingers, and then he made the tweet that really got him in trouble (with right-wingers): "There is no huge influx. We take far fewer refugees than other major European countries. This is just an immeasurably cruel policy directed at the most vulnerable people in language that is not dissimilar to that used by Germany in the 30s, and I’m out of order?".

Now, I am not actually subjecting myself to watching a video of Suella Braverman bigging up a cruel policy to say whether the specific comparison of the language to 1930s Germany is accurate. But needless to say, Ms Braverman was amongst the many figures on the right of UK politics objecting to Gary's rhetoric. And here's the part where a fact about the BBC comes in: it is nominally neutral and impartial (and so, of course, is routinely accused of bias from all sides but particularly the right-wing), and has something of a code for its contributors to this effect. Now, that code has previously been applied to Gary Lineker, over a comment about whether governing Conservative Party would hand back donations from figures linked to the Russian regime. But it generally hasn't been applied too strongly to people like Gary, whose roles have nothing to do with politics (such as presenting a "here's what happened on the footie today" show), on the basis that, well, their roles have nothing to do with politics. However, when directly asked about whether the BBC should punish Gary Lineker for his tweets, government figures basically went "well, that's a them problem". But a couple of days passed, and it seemed like Gary's approach of "standing his ground because he did nothing wrong" was working and everything would die down. He was set to get 'a talking to' but not much more than that. The Conservative right, after all their fire and fury earlier, had gotten bored and moved onto something else. And then, on Friday 10th March, the BBC announced that he would be suspended from hosting Match of the Day this weekend. But it could still go ahead, because there are, like, other hosts! Except, well, funnily enough, when you take a beloved figure off air, for making a fairly anodyne tweet, no one wants to be the scab who actually takes up the role of replacing him. Gary's two co-hosts, Alan Shearer and Ian Wright, said that they would not appear without him. People who (co-)host Match of the Day on other days followed suit. The net result is that Match of the Day is currently set to air without hosts, BBC commentary, or global feed commentary. And the solidarity shown to Gary Lineker, over what is very flagrantly actual cancel culture and an attack on freedom of speech (the logic implied is that institutional impartiality requires that no one say anything too critical of the government ever), has continued to grow. The BBC has pretty much been unable to run pretty much any live sports content today, and has resorted to raiding the BBC Sounds archive to fill the sports radio channel. And, as of 17:30 on Saturday 11th March, the situation shows no signs of improvement, though some are calling for the Chairman Richard Sharp, who is separately facing corruption allegations, to resign (yes I linked to the BBC itself there, there is nothing, nothing, the BBC loves more than going into great detail about how much the BBC sucks).

[arkivsantorina]

Cregan Stark x Alicent's Daughter HC

A/N: this is kinda long for a hc but I am trying to make up for not posting anything for two weeks.

so, you are the 2nd youngest of Alicent's children

younger than Aemond but older than Daeron

you are the only one who looks like Alicent so naturally, you became her favorite from the moment you were born

she did not have to be reminded of Rhaenyra every time she looked at you because you were hers plus you did not have the same tendencies as Helaena. Alicent could raise you to be the perfect noble lady

because you lacked any Targaryen features, Alicent and Otto had to stop the rumors of Rhaenyra's children being bastards. If the King could have a child without Valyrian coloring, so could his heir

your resemblance with Alicent caused Rhaenyra to resent you even more than your other siblings. looking at you reminded her of the friend that she lost to womanhood so Rhaenyra devised a plan to keep you out of her sight and not be reminded of her lost girlhood dreams nor of the betrayal Alicent subjected Rhaenyra to

on one of her rare visits to King's Landing, Rhaenyra went to her father and privately convinced him to wed you to Cregan Stark

Cregan's wife had died giving birth to his son Rickon and he now rarely left the North. Marrying you to him meant that you would be kept far away from the Red Keep, both now and after Rhaenyra took her position as Queen

If Rhaenyra let it be known to Cregan that she was the one who betrothed you to him, he may be even more loyal than the typical "there has never been a Stark who forgot an oath" because it was his father who knelt and not him

so the majority of the court traveled North to Winterfell in order to witness your marriage to the Wolf of Winterfell

Alicent was livid. How dare Rhaenyra take it upon herself to betroth you? It was Alicent's job as your mother to find the best possible match

she would have never given you to a man such as Cregan Stark. a savage who worships the old gods. Alicent had heard how he brutally took back control of Winterfell from his uncle.

you are a princess of the Seven Kingdoms. you are kind and delicate. you deserve more than to be the second wife of a man several years older than you. you deserve more than the same fate that Alicent suffered

though you would never admit it to your mother, you were happy for this match. the North is somewhere that you had never been and despite its reputation, the scenery and summer snows you saw on your journey there from the Red Keep intrigued you

upon your arrival in Winterfell, you were greeted by your future husband and several other Northern lords. your mother was not happy when she saw the blush upon your cheeks when Cregan kissed your hand in greeting. though she was supposed to be happy for you, she had wished that you would be upset with this match and not allow yourself to be corrupted by the Northerner

unfortunately for Alicent, that didn't happy. all it took was your wedding night with Cregan for you to be utterly in love

you are a young girl, and of course, you would be instantly taken with the man who had shown you love and pleasure for the first time. he had heard your hand and made sure you were comfortable with everything he did

needless to say, you and Cregan had a very active marriage from the moment you two awoke the morning after your wedding. it was not uncommon for the servants to skitter past your chambers giggling about the noises coming from behind the door

while the court was still there before their return to King's Landing, Alicent tried everything in her power to scare you away from your husband, thinking she was preventing you from being corrupted. it was not proper for you to constantly be showing up for meals arm-in-arm with your new husband. Cheeks flushed, hair out of place, and your clothes in disarray. plus she was hearing that Cregan had your things moved into his chambers. how were you going to be protected from him if you were being forced to spend every night with him (stop being delusional Alicent? your daughter would throw a fit if Cregan even suggested having separate rooms now that you have had a taste of him)

Cregan loved the glares he received from the Southern nobles. Unlike your siblings who had the looks of the man his ancestors bent the knee to, you had the look of someone he could corrupt

Cregan loved how soft you were. he would grip your hair with one hand and keep his other on your hips when you were together, no matter where you were. he wanted you to look into his eyes as he controlled your movements. he wanted you to know exactly who was making you feel this good and exactly whose children you would be carrying

you are the young and pretty bride that Cregan enjoys corrupting. maybe your mother wasn't that delusional for her worries

a few months after your father's court returned south, a raven made its way from the North. you were officially with child. nothing could separate you from Cregan now

over the years, there would be many more ravens bearing similar news. each time Alicent visited you or you came south, Cregan would give her a wicked grin as if taunting her: "Your daughter is mine now. You lost."

masterlist

[cherri-balms]

popular girl reader x sal? maybe they’re seeing each other secretly and she’s kinda mean lol

OMG!! Thank you so much for sending in your request for me! This is my first request so I'm a little nervous, but I'm excited too! I'm kind of going for a very free-form style for the time being while I get used to getting back into the swing of things! ♥♥♥♥♥♥

I couldn't tell you why but I found this particular request very intriguing, I ended up taking a lot of creative liberty as I went going! I really hope you enjoy it!!! >v<

RAITING: G || EWC: 2K || READER GENDER: F ||

♥𝓢𝓪𝓵 𝓕𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓼𝓮𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓵𝔂 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓸𝓹𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓻 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵♥

♥Getting Together♥

♥〉〉 This kind of reserved, mean exterior is nothing new to Sal, at least after having to deal with Travis picking on him for most of his high school life. So needless to say he's gotten a bit of practice in this department! ♥〉〉 The difference between you and Travis that Sal hadn't dealt with yet (and made it just a tad rougher to get to know you), was that Travis was very clearly a confused kid without a healthy way to deal with his problems at home. You, on the other hand, were a bit more complicated to read.

♥〉〉 It seemed like you had everything a teenager would want. Every guy seemed to want to be with you, and every girl wanted to be you. You had lots of friends, good grades, a beautiful figure, and the most envious trait:

♥〉〉 A beautiful face.

♥〉〉 He couldn't understand why someone like you felt the need to be so stand-offish toward everyone. Maybe you really were just as stuck up and entitled as some of his friends Larry say you are?

♥〉〉 All this together should've made him stop, to pull his hand away from the fire before he got burned... but the temptation of the potential warm comfort outweighed that logic.

♥〉〉 He really became a moth in your light. Sal wanted to get to know you with each interaction, but not the intimidating [y/n] everyone had put up on a pedestal. Rather, he found you to be a rather tricky puzzle he couldn't put down until he solved it once and for all.

♥〉〉 Sal wasn't surprised his hardest challenge was just being able to get your attention. This was the other big difference between you and Travis: Where Travis went out of his way to get a rise out of Sal, you either blew off any attempt he made or one of your friends was quick to take your attention back.

♥〉〉 All while giving him that "Who do you think you are talking to someone like her" look he was all too familiar with throughout his life. It was also something that made him envious of your good looks even more...

♥〉〉 After an intervention from his friend group he was all but ready to give up until he finally got his moment alone with you.

♥〉〉 It was late in the afternoon when all the clubs were letting out and the sports teams were finishing up with practice. Typically, Sal wasn't the kind of guy to stay after school preferring instead to continue his ghost investigation in Addison Appartments.

♥〉〉 But, art was his weakest subject. With Larry and Ash busy getting tutoring from Todd for their own academic struggles he had to take it upon himself into putting in more elbow grease to bring his grades up with the teacher. As the sun began to set earlier during daylight savings, the nearby coast's storm clouds had moved in over Nockfell, making their presence known with the loud warnings of thunder before the inevitable wind and rain.

♥〉〉 Before Sal could worry about getting home, his cell vibrated with a text from Larry letting him know he and Lisa were on their way in place of his dad.

♥〉〉 When he headed up to the front entrance to wait for Lisa and Larry, he didn't expect to see you sitting up against the wall alone, looking down at your phone.

♥〉〉 "[Y/N]? I didn't expect to see you here so late.." His start at conversation only got him a quick glance, your appearance illuminated in the spotlight your phone gave in the dim lighting of the school after hours. Alright so far, not so good it seemed...

♥〉〉 Waiting a few moments to see if you would respond, he tries again, "Are you waiting for your ride? I'm waiting on mine right now, can I sit with you?" Same as before, silence. This time though you had scooted over just enough to let him sit next to you. Hey! That's progress!

♥〉〉 "That was what I was waiting on. I only stayed this late because I was going to dinner with my friends after they finished tennis practice, but they cleared out early when the weather got bad and forgot me. Well..." you move a little closer to show Sal the texts you were just having between your friends, and what he read made his stomach churn.

♥〉〉 The messages revealed they hadn't forgotten to come get you at all, rather they left you there on purpose as a sick joke knowing you had no way home. Sal didn't even try to hide his frustration, not even able to read the rest of the texts.

♥〉〉 "Don't make such a big deal out of this Sally Face. They just wanted to inconvenience me a little, we do stuff like this all the time."

♥〉〉 Seeing this happen to you hit especially close to home, as his "friends" back in Jersey had teased and messed with him in similar ways. It wasn't until he met Larry, Todd, and Ashley that he got to see what it was like to have a proper support system.

♥〉〉 He could also see a little further into your attitude now, it was almost like treating others and being treated with cruelty was just an expectation...

♥〉〉 Sal knew he wasn't going to be able to change your entire outlook with one conversation, but the least he could do was show you that same compassion his friends first showed him as bright headlights soon flooded the room from outside.

♥〉〉 "I'm gonna ask Lisa if it's alright to drop you off home too, it's way too dangerous to walk home at night- let alone in a storm like this."

♥〉〉 "The hell you aren't." The sudden blunt rejection was most certainly not what he was expecting, but neither was the light tint of pink your cheeks held. "Like I'm gonna let you of all people put me in a debt, I'll get home just fine. But, here-"

♥〉〉 You took out a pen from your bag and started scribbling something down on his hand, something he couldn't quite read in the lack of proper light. "This is just so I can let you know I got home safe, alright? Don't be a weirdo about this later." You didn't waste a second after that to leave the building (and him dumbfounded)

♥〉〉 Stepping outside himself, Sal finally got a good look at what you had written down on his hand.

♥〉〉 It was a phone number! Your number! An odd, and honestly quite crude way of giving him your number but hey, he wasn't upset.

♥〉〉 Once he finally got home he shot you a text letting you know who he was and that he was safe, finding himself glued to the screen until he got a reply back.

♥〉〉 Eventually his nerves were put to ease when he got the reply, and for some unexplainable reason, it made his heart skip a beat when he read it:

♥〉〉 > Hey Sally, lyk I'm alive. Drenched, but alive. > Sorry for leaving so suddenly, thank you for keeping me company

♥〉〉 Maybe you really were just a normal girl after all ♡

♥Being Together♥

♥〉〉 Getting into a relationship wound up going quicker than expected after your first proper encounter!

♥〉〉 Sal was quick to realize that you were never intentionally trying to be mean to him, not even really as a front for your friends. Rather, none of your snide remarks had any weight to them at all; the definition of hot air.

♥〉〉 Because of this your relationship was never really intended to be a secret in the start, rather you were still getting used to genuine communication and tended to revert to your typical ways in public. While Sal understood, both of your social circles just thought it was business as usual.

♥〉〉 Even when you had started transitioning into more romantic forms of affection, Sal was already not one for PDA so even your social status aside he wasn't really ready to venture into heavy romantics immediately.

♥〉〉 Which was something you found oddly sweet about your growing bond with him, because as one would expect you had been on many, many dates before Sal. You both had a dynamic where you were able to show the other a foreign kind of relationship you weren't used to.

♥〉〉 The problem arises when you do secretly date on purpose...

♥〉〉 See, Sal is wildly known to be an awful liar, and even worse when it came to keeping secrets.

♥〉〉 Between him turning down hangouts with his group, checking his phone a lot more often, and just in general having a different air to him everyone could tell he was hiding something. Larry most of all had been suspecting Sal had a romantic partner behind his back before anyone else though.

♥〉〉 Furthermore, you had slowly begun drifting away from your old friend group. Not only that, but you'd been rejecting date offers a lot more frequently.

♥〉〉 It finally took one specific day of repeated bad luck for Larry to finally get frustrated enough to say something. with a combination of a failed math quiz, a minor argument with his mom earlier in the morning, and the god-awful bologna to eat Larry was especially not in the mood to put up with Sal's distance in the conversation.

♥〉〉 "Sal, with all due respect can you PLEASE just reveal your secret date or pay attention to the conversation."

♥〉〉 Proceed to the dead silent, blank stares from everyone at the table. Yeah everyone suspected it (and had a feeling Larry was going to bring it up first) but no one thought he was going to go nuclear with it.

♥〉〉 "Ugh- haha Larry- what are you talking about I'm not dating-"

♥〉〉 "Don't even try that Sally Face we all know a man in love when we see it."

♥〉〉 For once Sal was kind of glad he had a prosthetic face. It made it very easy to hide embarrassment in times like these. Either way, the cat was out of the bag and he figured he had to introduce you to his friends eventually, so maybe this was an open opportunity for them to get to know you!

♥〉〉 "Hmmm... How about instead of me telling you, I introduce you guys to her. Is that fair?" The promise of actually getting to meet Sal's girlfriend already piqued the group's interest by far, so they didn't fight him when he left to go retrieve you.

♥〉〉 When Sal came back with you, however...

♥〉〉 Jaws were on the floor, Ashley may have gotten milk up her nose preventing a spit take, and Larry...

♥〉〉 "Break up with her." "LARRY-"

♥〉〉 Unfortunately here is where your previous treatment of Sal is going to bite you in the ass. The gang had a difficult time accepting Travis already, as a friend, but you as Sal's girlfriend is going to take a lot of work convincing you aren't just taking advantage of his kindness.

♥〉〉 It's actually because of this Travis is the first one you were able to befriend within the group- and actually got pretty close with. While in different contexts, Travis believed your claim of being influenced by toxic people in your life and genuinely meant no ill will to Sal. Hell, even outside of Sal's group you two hung out quite frequently.

♥〉〉 No one by far is surprised, but the hardest member to sway over was Larry, but also obtaining his blessing was something important to both you and Sal.

♥〉〉 Time is the only thing that will get his approval. If you stick with Sal long enough to prove you're serious about dating him then he'll know you're genuinely making an effort. ♥

[renahxlove]

Random NSFW TR Headcanons Part Two

MINORS DNI! 18+ ONLY!

As the title suggests, this is part two of the random sexual headcanons for the Tokyo Revengers characters.

Warnings! Mentions of anal, a very STRONG implication of emotional incest, some interesting kinks, and implied masochism.

A/n: Reminder, they're all ADULTS here.

Let's start this off with a list of guys who are all brat tamers! DRAKEN, SMILEY, Wakasa, Izana, and Rindou!

Chifuyu fucked a girl in the storage room of his pet store. It happened multiple times throughout one day actually. (Mans got some stamina!)

Hakkai once slapped his girlfriend so hard that he cried while she had an orgasm.

Draken is the KING at making girls squirt. It may have something to do with his big dick energy.

Speaking of BDE (Big Dick Energy), shout out to Rindou Haitani and Hakkai Shiba.

Ran, SOUTH, Hanma, and Shion have all let themselves be pegged at least once. Surprisingly, Hanma did not enjoy it.

Mitsuya admitted that Baji was the best man he fucked. (more like he got fucked by Baji.)

Peh-yan is a choker.

Taiju definitely has a daddy kink

Meanwhile, Takemichi has a mommy kink

Mikey once got hard from watching a video of a girl painting her toenails. He was just trying to help Emma with her pedicure. Needless to say, she won't be asking for his help anymore.

Sanzu walked in on his sister Senju fucking another girl. He was so aroused that he couldn't help but watch from the shadows.

Speaking of Sanzu, he is surprisingly gentle in bed.

Shinichiro Sano never realized he had a lactation kink until he saw a porn video of a woman's breasts leaking milk. That ultimately spurred on a subsequent breeding kink.

Mucho is WAY too silent when in bed. He just stares blankly even though he is enjoying the experience. (please beg him to make some noise)

Baji will share his girl toy with Mitsuya and maybe Chifuyu, but he will NEVER share his girlfriend with Chifuyu. (Interesting.)

Just ask nicely and these guys will HAPPILY eat your pussy: MITSUYA, DRAKEN, BENKEI, SHINICHIRO, HANMA, Hakkai, Angry, Akkun, Peh-yan, Wakasa, Mocchi, Kazutora, Inupi, Suzuki, Mucho, Kakucho, and Shion.

Let's focus on the Kawata twins for a bit. Angry once walked in on Smiley eating a girl out from behind. What did he do? He joined in.

Similar to his brother, Angry is very experienced as well although, he does not sleep around like Smiley.

Speaking of Smiley, he is one sadistic fuck. He will edge his girl until she is balling her eyes out and even then he may not let her cum. Though, the moment when he does let her cum, he makes sure it is an amazing orgasm, so he's not FULLY evil.

Fun fact, sex with Baji ain't always great. Sometimes, he'll randomly stop and pull out for no apparent reason. (He is an unpredictable guy after all.)

Guys who will be absolutely RUTHLESS with backshots are BAJI, HANMA, SMILEY, TAIJU, SOUTH, Izana, Mikey, Takeomi, Kisaki, and Draken.

Make Angry angry enough and he'll go feral. The same goes for Shion, Mocchi, and Izana.

Inupi does not like to be teased. He'd much rather sex be straightforward.

Chifuyu loves anal a lot. If he's not fucking his girlfriend's ass, he will definitely stick his finger in there. Additionally, he will always give her a rim job.

Hanma's favorite roleplay is when he pretends to be a psycho killer. Once he catches his victim, he fucks her dumb.

While we're on the subject of Hanma's fantasies, he definitely thought about having a threesome with Draken and a random girl. In his mind, he wants to see who could give her the best pleasure. (I'm literally writing this fanfic right now. Lol.)

Let's end this part with guys who love a nice ass: WAKASA, RINDOU, KISAKI, SANZU, SOUTH, CHIFUYU, Draken, Mitsuya, Peh, Inupi, Angry, Taiju, Kokonoi, Shion, Mocchi, Takeomi, Naoto, and Kakucho

A/n: Have any more requests for headcanons, let me know. Also, don't be afraid to comment. I don't bite.

[blushblyme]

Lover (Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader)

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Wife!Reader

Summary: The one where you found the most perfect love in the shape of a man named Bradley Bradshaw.

Warnings: None, just pure fluff.

Words: 2,273

Author's Note: I've noticed I have been writing a lot for Bradley these days. I think I should begin with my Hangman fic as soon as I can.

The immaculate smell of cookies emanated through the walls of the house as you and your son, Nick were mixing another batch of cookies. "Am I doing it right, mommy?" Nick asks as his little arms struggled to pull the spatula around the thick cookie batter.

"Yeah, you are. Do you need mommy's help?" You asked. Little Nick shook his head as he tried harder to mix the batter.

"I think I'm good, mommy." He replies.

You nodded as you smiled, ruffling his hair in the process. You then continued to mold the batter into the cookie pan so you could put it in the oven when you suddenly heard a cute giggle from the living room

You craned your neck to get a better view of the living room from the kitchen. Bradley was sitting on the floor with his eyes closed as your 4-year-old daughter smudged some makeup on his eyelids.

"Daddy, you need to sit still."

"Oh okay," Bradley says as he tried his best not to move. His hand wandered around the floor as if he was looking for something. "You think you could give daddy some more of this red one? I feel like the other cheek's a bit lighter than the other, baby girl." He adds as he raises a round blush palette in front of your daughter.

"One second, daddy. I'm almost done with your eyeshadow."

You smiled at the very wholesome scene in front of you. You sat on the kitchen stool as you turned to look at Nick who was currently munching on some cookies while he held a cold glass of milk in his other hand.

In the middle of your trance, some flashbacks from where it all started came flooding in.

Growing up with Bradley meant three things: endless singing, clothes trying-on montage, and running around by the shore the whole day. This continued until both of you grew up and needless to say, this also meant growing feelings for him.

You've always had the hunch that he knew about what you felt about him and that he just chose to ignore it for the sake of your friendship. By the time he graduated from the academy and was subjected to being part of the TOP GUN Programme, he finally cracked.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" He asked, crossing his arms on his chest.

"What do you mean?"

"Isn't this the part where you're supposed to tell me that you love me and you don't want me to leave? I mean, I'll be gone for 3 months."

Your mouth gaped in awe as you avoided his gaze. "W-What are you talking about, you idiot--"

He placed both of his hands on your shoulders as he leaned down to level his gaze upon you. "You're like an open book, sweets. You don't even try to close it."

He tapped your cheek gently as he grinned mischievously, making you scoff in embarrassment. "You knew? All this time?!"

"Yeah, since 10th grade." You couldn't believe it.

"Then why didn't you say anything?!"

He shrugged, "I didn't want to impose. I just thought maybe I was so attractive that you always looked at me in a certain way. But since you just admitted it, turns out I was wrong. You actually like me."

You gasped when you realized what he had just done, "You little-- Ugh! Damn you, Bradshaw!" You marched away from him as he ran to catch up with you.

"Come on now, you can't send me away like this," He whined, still laughing at your adorable reaction.

"Bradley, I swear to God I will punch you--"

"No thanks, but I'll take a kiss. It will last me three months, I think. But I'll let you know if I need more." He winked, making you frown in confusion.

"Bradley, just what are you on about?"

He rolled his eyes as he sighed dramatically. "Jesus, (Y/N). And here I thought I was the idiot one."

"Okay, Genius. You like me back. I get it."

He looked at you in confusion. "Do I?" You groaned as you punched his arm playfully. He chucked lightly before holding your wrists as he pulled you into a warm hug.

"I'm gonna miss you," He whispers on your neck.

You tightened your grip on his body as a response, earning you a soft kiss on your crown. "Now, where's my kiss?"

You giggled at the question. "Come back home in one piece, then maybe we'll talk."

He whined dramatically as he sighed. "Fine, I guess," He started to pick up his things as he looked over to the side where the airstair just opened. "Oh, there goes my ride." He pointed at the plane swiftly to catch your attention before he stole a quick peck on the lips as he ran towards the plane before you could even recover.

You were in complete awe as you stared at his grinning figure from afar, waving at you like a child before he went inside the plane.

After that, you came home smiling like an idiot.

3 months after, when you heard that he was graduating from TOP GUN, you immediately packed your things and flew to San Diego. As soon as he spotted you from a sea of pilots in white uniforms, he pushed his way out of the cramped space and gave you the tightest hug you have ever received from him.

"So, where's my kiss?"

"I believe you stole one 3 months ago."

"Aw, that's not fair. Can I have one as a graduation gift?"

You sighed in defeat. "Fine, just one. Then we'll talk, okay?" You tiptoed as you gave him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled lovingly at you as he nods, "Yes, ma'am."

When both of you finally had the time to talk, you tried to figure out what to do with your relationship. As per Bradley, both of you didn't need to figure it out since he had already absorbed the thought that you were his, and he was yours.

Bradley was the greatest boyfriend you could ever ask for. He'd bring you souvenirs that he claimed 'reminded him of you' while he was still away, give you massages out of nowhere, and braid or brush your hair for fun while listening to you rant about how the supermarket never restocked your favorite potato chip anymore.

When Bradley was young, he could clearly remember seeing his parents dancing around the living room as he sat there while clapping with joy. He could also remember his parents singing a song while he sat on top of the piano, trying his hardest to sing along to what they were singing.

His parents were the happiest with each other. As he grew up, he reflected on that thought and decided that he wanted that kind of relationship. A pure, happy, and passionate one.

A year after he graduated from TOP GUN, he decided to pop the question. He figured that he couldn't wait any longer and wanted to just take you home with him and be with you forever. Of course, you said yes.

Your marriage was pure bliss. Bradley was very consistent, and he proved himself to be better as the days went by. After a year of marriage, you found out you were pregnant.

Bradley found out about it through a little game you set up when he came home from a mission. You placed a bun inside of the oven and lead him to it as he stared at the oven for a good 10 minutes. "Babe, I think the bun's burning. Don't you think you should take it out already?"

You suppressed a smile as you shook your head. "Nah, it's not due to come out 'till September."

He frowned in confusion. "What? The bun will be spoiled by then---"

You rolled your eyes at his cluelessness. "Jesus, Bradley. I'm pregnant."

He blinked at you for a while, taking all the information in. "Oh." He breathes out. His eyes widened as he suddenly pointed at the oven. "A bun in the oven--Oh my god! You're pregnant! I'm gonna be a dad!"

He lifted you up carefully as you laughed at his reaction. "And here I thought you were so smart, you couldn't even figure that out."

"I'm sorry, babe. I think it's the post-flight brain fog." He grinned before hugging you lovingly as both of you ended up cuddling on the couch for the whole day.

All throughout your pregnancy, Bradley was very hands-on and protective. In your fifth month, he already bought some things to use for babyproofing around the house. When he found out that both of you were having a boy, he passed out.

When Bradley found out that your water broke, he immediately filed for an emergency leave for a week just to be there for you during your labor. But the moment he got to the hospital, you were already holding your baby boy in your arms.

You could tell that he was mesmerized by his newborn with the way he looked at him. He cried for 2 minutes while he hugged the little boy close to his chest as he carried him away from you to get some alone time with him.

When Maverick and Penny came to visit, Bradley refused to let his newborn go. Bradley wanted to hold him for as long as he could, even if his arms went sore. He sat by the corner of the room as he cooed at the little boy in his arms

"Let me hold him, Brad." Maverick says as he earns a groan from Bradley.

"Not today, Mav. I'm having my moment here."

Needless to say, he remained like that for hours.

When Bradley was a good husband, he was also a good father. Unlike any other dad, he loved doing the dirty work. You never knew why he was always so excited about changing the diapers, bathing the baby, and feeding them even if it was messy to deal with. When you saw how happy he was with it, you figured it was just him being a doting father to his firstborn.

When Nick was about 2 years old, there came baby number 2. You cried yourself to sleep after you found out that you were pregnant again and Bradley couldn't be there for you because he was stationed for a year in a different country.

You called him and told him everything. He assured you that everything was going to be fine as he promised to be home as soon as he possibly could.

After a year of being away, Bradley finally came home to a reading little boy and a crawling baby girl.

That night, he cuddled both children to sleep after reading them a bedtime story. You were left to sleep alone in your shared bedroom, but it didn't matter. You just didn't want any of this happiness to end.

In the middle of the night, you felt an arm wrap around your waist as Bradley buries his face on your neck from behind. "I'm sorry for not being able to be there for you when you were carrying our little girl. I promise to do the best I can to make up for the lost time." He whispered.

You used to think that perfect love didn't exist. Little did you know that that kind of love took a human form in a man such as your husband.

"Hey, hun. You okay?" You heard Bradley ask you as you snapped out of your thoughts.

"Yeah," You replied as you turned to look at him and laughed. "Wow, honey. You look...good."

"Yeah, I know, right? I feel like a walking butterfly clip," He says as he poses in front of the mirror, combing the wig with his hand to straighten it up. "Man, I look hot. Our daughter should be a makeup artist when she grows up."

You laughed as you took a minute to absorb his little ensemble. His blonde wig was out of place, he had colorful hair clips around it, and he was wearing a pink, frilly apron from the little tea party your daughter set up a while ago before she decided to mess with her dad's face.

You made your way towards him as you hugged his waist. "I love you so much, Brad."

He hugs you back as he places a gentle kiss on your forehead. "I just hope you didn't do something bad, but I love you more." You slapped his chest gently as you chuckled.

"Daddy, you forgot your earrings!" You and Bradley looked down to see your adorable daughter handing her dad some plastic clip-on earrings. Bradley gladly takes them from her little hands as he clips them on his ears.

"I think this calls for a family picture," Bradley says as he reaches for the camera, pulling the children towards the living room. Nick sat with his plane next to Penelope with her doll as Bradley set up the camera. You sat next to the kids as Bradley ran to sit beside you before the camera flashed. As soon as it ended, Bradley and the kids looked at the photos.

"Mommy's got a third eye."Nick laughs as he looks at the photo before pointing at your forehead. You frowned in confusion as you immediately looked for a mirror, and there you saw a lipstick mark on your forehead. Bradley.

You looked at him as he grinned. "I love you." He mouths at you before looking at more pictures with the kids.

Life couldn't get any better than this.

[astroluvr]

YES! Pls do a cheating fic! Lmaoooo my toxic ass loves those 😂😂 - 🙈

Capture Your Emotion

jack harlow x reader

summary: neelam hired you as jack's tour photographer to help you build up your portfolio, but you find jack much more captivating than any action shot- despite him being taken

warnings: 18+, reader and jack are on the tour bus, so it's a lil public (eek!), and cheating

a/n: now, y'all knooowww i don't write smut, so this is not going to be mind-blowing, but i am posting this as a thank you to y'all for being so patient with me! i've been m.i.a lowkey, but i've never not felt at home with y'all, so here's this! i hope you enjoy :) p.s- there is a possible pt 2, but let's see how this does first lol

***

You knew it was wrong from the moment you laid eyes on Jack. You knew that what you felt was wrong to the point where even thinking about how good Jack looked in his expensive hoodie and blue jeans that covered his long legs down to his New Balances felt like a sin, but you couldn’t help it.

Not even when his girlfriend- tall and gorgeous, sat next to him and smacked a kiss on his lips.

From that point on, you tried to continue doing your job without thinking too much about a taken man. Neelam, as a family friend, pulled off a huge favor to do some photography for Jack to build up your portfolio, and so far, it was going well. Urban became good friends with you, and even offered some tips- despite your styles being different, and Jack started to hang around you as a result.

When you met him the night before his tour started off, you thought that maybe the woman you saw was just a fling since you hadn’t seen her for a while, but it wasn’t long before she was standing right next to you behind stage and giving Jack good luck kisses and running off with his credit card in the early mornings of tour stops. It was then that you tried to contain some of your arousal for Jack, but it was hard to when you noticed the way he looked at you too.

Which is why you were sure the guilt wracked you every time you saw Marie, knowing what happened on a muggy night after a bad show. Being a photographer, you thought of your subjects as having a relationship with a camera, and trying to capture all the emotion, so it wasn’t hard to say that Jack was getting less motivated as the night went on. When Jack rushed off the stage with a ‘good night’, you tried to follow him, and couldn’t help but notice that you hadn’t seen Marie all day.

“Jack, are you alright?” You asked him, finding him in the back of the charter bus, abandoning your usual post at the front of the bus where you usually sat, hardly ever bothered by anyone besides Neelam and Urban.

It was dark out after a sweltering day, and needless to say that nobody was in the best mood after the long day. Even with the moon high in the sky, the air conditioning on the bus could still do very little to make a difference. Neelam was the one who made a joke that Marie left because her spray tan was melting off, and it was hard for you to stifle your laughter when Jack had stride pass.

He didn’t even take his headphones off to hear what you said, but you figured that being the star he was, he knew how to read lips well.

“I know you probably want to be alone. I just wanted to check on you. I noticed that Marie left.”

You weren’t sure why the last sentence came out, it was a slight overstep- you knew, but you were itching to see him twitch in any way that might allow you to tuck some of your guilt away.

“She had to go home. It was nothing.” He told you, his headphones were still on.

Due to the heat of the bus, you only wore a spaghetti strap tank and rather tiny shorts. It didn’t reveal much, but it was enough for Jack to bite his bottom lip when you hit a bump in the road and slid forward into the aisle he was sitting on to give him a glance at your breasts.

“You want to sit down?” He asked, raising his eyebrows, and finally pulling those headphones off.

You were slightly dejected by his confirmation that Marie was still in the picture, but couldn’t find it in yourself to go back to your seat after seeing him with his hair wild and legs spread and those slender fingers on his knees.

When you sat down, you realized that you had never been so close to Jack. Sure, you’d been shoulder to shoulder for a moment or so when discussing a couple of shots that you wanted to take of him onstage, but never several aisles behind the people you usually travelled with either asleep or too caught up in having a break to care about what was going on behind them.

Almost as soon as you sat down, the driver did a quick glance around the back and once he saw that there wasn’t much motion, he turned off the lights, and you continued down the long stretch of road that was hardly occupied by much else. You noticed that Jack had the shades down around him, and it made you feel much more comfortable. If anyone saw you, there’s no telling what rumors might come of it and nip your career in the bud before it even started.

When you got closer to Jack, you tried to remind yourself that nothing could happen if he didn’t let it, but you wished like Hell he’d do something with those pretty pink lips that were parted ever so slightly as he kept his gaze on you, or maybe even his fingers that were rubbing up and down his thighs.

“Hey, I meant to tell you earlier that I fuck with those pictures you took. I’m going to post them after this week, and I’ll tag you. Just promise me you won’t leave me for some big shot when they hit you up.”

You chuckled slightly and smiled big when he held out his pinky. You wrapped it around his finger, and almost shivered at how big his hand was. “I promise.”

“Can you promise me somethin’ else while we’re at it?” You swallowed and nodded, and Jack loosened his grip as he tried to gauge your expression. “That you won’t tell anyone else how cute I think you are. Even when I’m kissing Marie, it’s- you’re all I think about.”

“Jack-” You pulled back, and Jack didn’t hesitate.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, it’s just that I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m around you. And if I did, then I’m sorry. You can walk away, and nothing ever happened, I swear.”

“That doesn’t make me uncomfortable.” You whispered, leaning towards him, and biting your own lip as your heart pounded, and you worried that you might find yourself shooting up in bed any minute with an embarrassing ache.

“You promise?” he nodded, curly hair casting a shadow over you as you looked into those blue eyes that were getting darker with every passing moment.

“I promise.”

As if both of you snapped at the same time, you met in the little bit of space between you and crashed into a kiss. Oddly enough, you seemed to care less about Marie than ever before, and you hoped that Jack would give you something to replace the guilt that would undoubtedly come back to life by morning.

Despite it all though, neither you nor Jack had it in you to stop. In the dark, your hands grabbed whatever they could of each other. It was like you were trying to mold each other’s bodies from the memory of fantasy, yet still created something better than your wildest dreams.

It didn’t take long for Jack to have your back against the seat in front of you, and your tank top pulled up over your chest. His cock was beneath you and it was so hard that you started to ache for him where you needed him most.

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty.” He groaned, palming himself as you panted while he played with one of your breasts, and suckled the other in a desperate alternation.

“Jack.” You mewled, your head falling forward, and your lips brushed the back of his head.

“What, baby?” He looked at you, and you were glad he couldn’t see how your face contorted into a medley of pleasure and desperation at the sight of him.

“Touch me.”

Without taking another moment of consideration, Jack leaned on your back again, and helped you to tug down your shorts. You pursed your lips to stay quiet to keep the rest of the bus from hearing you, but Jack seemed even more spurred on when he noticed the challenge you had given yourself.

Jack kissed you once, hard and long, even slipping his tongue into your mouth for a messier result, and slowly massaged his way into your cunt. You were embarrassingly wet, but you couldn’t do much more than stutter your hips against him and whine.

“Damn, Y/N. Getting fucked by a taken man gets you like this?” He tsked, and your cheeks warmed and your pussy clenched around his fingers. “I guess so, huh?”

“J-Jack, I know it’s bad.” You placed your hands on his shoulder and tried to give yourself what he wasn’t out of pure desperation.

“But you still want more.” He teased, and your eyes watered. “If that’s what you want, you can have it. I’ve wanted to give you what you asked for since the first time I saw you. Whatever it is, baby, you just ask me, and I got you, alright?”

“O-Okay.” You moaned, even though all his words sounded like he was talking to you from underwater.

He suckled on your neck, and if he wasn’t working your clit so well while he did it, you’d be swatting him away to keep the mark away, but now you could barely care. Your breathing became uneven, and your legs couldn’t decide whether to stay open or closed as he pulled you closer to edge.

“You want to cum?”

“Mmhmm! Yes.” You tried to keep yourself quiet, and you feared what your orgasm might bring.

“Then what’d I tell you to do?” He pulled away from your neck and looked you into your eyes that were wide as saucers. Jack took his free hand and held your face steady on his. “When you want to do something, you ask. Now, if you want to cum, you better ask.”

The question made you burn in embarrassment, but it was the only thing that was standing in your way, so you puffed up your chest, and asked. “Please can I cum, Jack? Please?”

“So sweet, Y/N.” He hummed, and he curled his fingers in a way that made you yelp.

You had no choice but to drop your mouth into Jack’s neck and moan there, letting him pet your G-spot, and circle your clit like he had touched you a million times before. The minute you thought of him teaching himself your body through his imagination, you could feel your body tensing for a moment before creating your release.

You laid there for a moment, letting your ears ring before you came back down to Earth, your legs trembling just enough for Jack to see as he pulled his fingers out of you, sliding the two fingers into his mouth and smirking at the way you panted in pleasure and disbelief.

“Jack, I-”

“Fuck are y’all doing back here?” Urban came down the aisle in a pair of shorts and a wife beater as he rubbed his eyes.

You stammered, but Jack was much quicker in gathering his composure than you were, and he had his hoodie over your lap before Urban could even glance, and you tried not to let a moan slip out when he pet your cunt on the sly.

“I had something in my eye, and I asked Y/N to help me.”

“Really? ‘Cause it sounded like you two were fucking.” You stayed quiet, but shook your head.

Jack and Urban shared a glance that didn’t even make their expressions change, but Urban’s face erupted in amusement, and Jack chuckled.

“You’re a damn dog, man, but I can't stand her ass anyway.” Urban said casually before walking off, and you slapped Jack’s shoulder when Urban disappeared.

“It’s alright, babe. It’s only Urban.”

“So, you do this a lot, then?” You scoffed, and all the satisfaction you received quickly became irritation. You reached for your shorts and tried to get them back on, but Jack was quick to pull you back to his lap when you had them on. “Don’t even.”

“I’ve never done anything like this before. Like, literally.” He gestured to the bus, and you refused to meet his eyes. “But Marie is a gold digger, alright, and the only reason I haven’t broken up with her is because my label will freak if she decides to get back at me.”

“So, this is one and done?”

“I’ve wanted you since I saw you, I meant that. If you don’t want to do this again, then I respect it, but I want you, Y/N. Not her.”

You were quiet for a moment, and looked at Jack once you registered the sincerity of his words. “When can you break up with her?”

“When tour’s over.” He answered, rubbing your hip and trying not to kiss you as hard as he wanted to. “And you don’t have to worry about Neelam doing anything about us either.”

“I forgot about her.” You muttered, and Jack laughed under his breath before pushing his forehead against yours.

“Look, let’s just see where this goes, you know? We obviously have something special, right?” His words brought a smile to your face, and you nodded. “Yeah, exactly, pretty girl. So, how about me and you in your hotel room tomorrow at one? We can do whatever you want.”

“Alright.” you nodded, and Jack gave a tongue-in-cheek smile before he pulled you against his chest.

“Alright.”

[lokitu]

Jackson, part 13 - The Finale

7 months later....

Finley leaned back in his chair. It was hot today and the cool leather felt nice on his skin. He let out a sigh.

He'd just finished a meeting with a prospective client, and needless to say it was a difficult negotiation. He still wasn't sure he had made the correct decision, getting involved with this unsavory group. But he was committed at this point, and even if he wouldn't admit it, he was becoming more like them.

After Jackson had been fully incapacitated, Finley restructured the company. Large feeding tubes were removed and resources were moved back toward the manufacture of fertilizer. By this time Jackson had been moved to a secure room under the main warehouse. This was to be his permanent home. There he could be monitored 24 hours a day, and fed on an endless loop of pig fat, cornmeal, and potatoes. Trapped in his own fat, obediently sucking down thousands of calories a day. His stomach never empty.

Finley's scheme had flown under the radar for well over a year, and he intended to keep it that way. But the penny dropped.

Word had gotten out, as all business secrets do, and his cattle feed suppliers skilfully leveraged this secret in their favor. The men proposed that if Finley continued purchasing the allotted amount of feed per year, as per the original contract, then they would connect him with another business client of theirs.

Embarrassed but by no means cowed, Finley accepted their offer.

And his relationship with this new business client began.

From the negotiations he just finished it was clear that this group operated more like a mob than a business. Polite society would be appalled.

But, as Finley was want to say, money talks. And an agreement had been reached.

3 subjects all at once. Feedings offset so that none would ever be the same size. ‘How ridiculous,’ Finley thought. ‘I can’t even fathom why they want this. But better to sit back and relax, it's just good business.’

Peeling his fat neck from the back of the chair, he opened up his laptop.

Logging in, he caught a glimpse of an amorphous blob that nearly filled the screen.

Down in the depths of warehouse 15 lay Jackson. Though "lay" might not be the best way to describe his position.

His flesh had taken on the property of a liquid, spreading out in all directions in an attempt to fill the warehouse. The feedings had been near endless, with certain rest periods where Finley would clean his prize, and examine new rolls of fat. He was sure Jackson’s belly was sore, but he wouldn't get verbal answers, probably ever again.

It had been 3 months since Jackson spoke. He was too big. The effort needed to move his vocal cords exhausted him. His body buckled under the weight. Nonessential muscles had atrophied to nothing.

Even if he miraculously lost the weight he wouldn’t be able to move his limbs; once muscle is gone, it's very difficult to build back.

And so there Jackson sat. Trapped in his fat. With no mental stimulation and endless boredom, Jackson’s mind had melted into a soft pile of mush. He had no way of knowing when one day ended and another began. It was blurring together.

Jackson's last physical motion was the twitching of his right hand, the fingertips were desperately pushing back against the fat consuming them.

It was rather satisfying, Finley thought.  Jackson would only move if HE wanted him to. He would decide.

Finley smiled to himself and shut the laptop. He was ready for the upcoming bank holiday. 4 long days away from regular work. He had ordered 10 dozen donuts, and he couldn’t think of a better use of his time than hand-feeding his enemy, his creation, until Jackson’s belly ached.

FIN...ley

(story by Sarav59)

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[simpingforcys]

King Candy/Turbo x Reader (Partly NSFW)

After the king had (accidentally) revealed to you his true form as the Turbo Time game protagonist character Turbo, it took you a while to come terms with it even after hearing the dastardly (and frankly egotistical and petty) reasons he did so.

He begged you (while trying not to yell or even lose his cool) to not tell anyone, but maybe he was just scared anyone would find out the method of HOW you came to find his secret.

(He got a little too passionate during one of your visits to his kingly chambers and just before the finish, his body glitched into tiny squares with 1’s and 0’s and you opened your dazed eyes to see a pale grey man moaning your name. Needless to say, the mood immensely shifted after that).

You promised not to. But it didn’t stop you from being just a bit afraid after knowing what he was capable of. The once goofy yet sweet eccentric king you had met had actually been the arcade legend of danger, Turbo, who’s name struck fear into people’s codes just by muttering it.

You had to admit. It was strange hearing the voice of your beloved king coming from a short grey jumpsuit-wearing man whose face always seemed in between either beyond stressed or beyond pissed. The yellow eyes and teeth didn’t help, but you had to convince yourself underneath it was still your adoring candy monarch who would invite you for sugar tea and kissed your hand whether you met up or had to say goodbyes to go to your respective games.

Right?

It didn’t take you long to notice and realize King Candy and Turbo were two different personalities depending who was in control.

When he took the appearance and demeanor of the candy-themed king, he was, for lack of a better word, absolutely goofy. He was excitable, silly, benevolent with his subjects but still firm when he had to with threats and disagreements, but still kept the appearance of a just king that looked after his kingdom.

Turbo, on the other hand…

He was prideful in himself, and very open about it. Boasting about his multiple wins in the random roster races. He was more cocky and slightly arrogant of his status, as stolen as it was. His short temper was, well, even shorter, bursting when he felt threatened and immediately plot revenge, as childish as he may have sounded sometimes. You started to think how much was Candy actually holding back during all those races and trials.

On top of that, you noticed Turbo was much more.. expressive whenever you two were together. King Candy was always affectionate with you, but Turbo took his partner like you were his possession. His winning prize. His trophy. If he wanted a kiss or a cuddle or wanted you pinned against his still sweets-themed king-sized spongecake bed, he would ask, not wait for an answer and have it. It was almost like being in his true form made him more comfortable and overall, confident to be himself.

And yet when he’d calm down and have you wrapped securely around his arms, you could almost make out a content smile on his grey lips. It was different than his usual smirks even after having marked you all over your neck and chest only minutes prior.

Instinctively, your hand rose to caress his white helmet, patting it like you would have done to Candy’s head after the act.

“…Thank you…”

That didn’t come from you.

You waited but it didn’t come again.

Instead you only felt a hand move down from your waist to your thigh, not to grab it or squeeze it, but to caress your skin as he held you close. And then you understood.

You couldn’t imagine how long he had to hide his true self after escaping his own game. He couldn’t tell it to anyone. He couldn’t show anyone.

He couldn’t be himself around anyone. Except for you.

You wouldn’t admit it now, but in a way, you always thought he was cute after hearing him moaning your name.

[honey-beann]

Ruiner, Ruination (RK900 x Reader)

Chapter One: Naming Nines

Series Masterlist

Series Synopsis:

After Gavin Reed, the biggest asshat in the DPD refuses to work with the newest android detective, the only RK900 in existence, you find yourself being offered the opportunity in his stead. Post successful android revolution, with a very recently deviated android partner at your side, will the two of you gain the same level of success as Hank and Connor, or will your different manifestations of humanity, and all of the feelings that come along with it, get in the way?

AKA: Reader and Nines get partnered up and grow closer over a series of one-shots and random cases.

Will you become RK900's ruination?

Chapter Content Warnings: None

Word Count: 2,579

"Absolutely not!"

The sounds of shouting nearly made you groan as you slumped down further in your desk, trying to ignore the grown man throwing a temper tantrum clearly visible through the glass just a few yards in front of you.

"Sounds like Gavin found out about his new android partner, huh?"

Muttered one of your coworkers from behind you, and you lamented internally at all of the bitching you were going to be subjected to as a result of this mess. Having your desk situated just a few feet across from Detective Reed's meant having to hear all about his newest complaints and disagreements, even if you had absolutely no interest in them at all. Back when you were still considered a rookie just a year prior, you had hoped this had all been a test, and that you would soon be moved to a less bothersome location, but as time went on with no complaints from you, Fowler appeared to have decided that the arrangement worked just fine as a permanent fixture.

You were less than pleased.

Trying not to be as obvious in your staring as your coworkers, you placed your tablet in your lap, looking up from the blank screen every few seconds to watch Gavin push at some other expensive looking object, his eyes wild with an anger you had grown all too familiar with throughout your somewhat brief time here at the station. Needless to say, you were not a fan of Detective Reed and his childishness, and this extreme act of crazed rage only made you all the more aware of how ridiculous and dramatic he could be.

"All this over some android partner?"

You muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes before returning them down to the tablet in front of you, still blank as you tried to look as busy as possible despite your light work load.

Working in the android crimes unit alongside Lieutenant Anderson, Connor, and Detective Reed had been no walk in the park so far, especially not when the first two made such an incredible team. You and Gavin, on the other hand, had been urged to try your best for a few months, before it was ultimately decided that you both worked best on your own. Or, at least, that's what the amicable write up said. In reality, Reed had made it impossible to work with him over the course of just three months, and after that, you had outright refused a partnership. If you were supposed to receive any form of repercussions for this, they never came, and now, watching Gavin rant and rave through the glass of Fowler's office, you were pretty sure that you knew why.

How could anyone truly expect someone to work well with one of the biggest assholes in the entire city of Detroit?

Yourself and the rest of your coworkers watched on for a while, as Gavin continued to argue his case against a potential asset to his one man show of a team, rolling your eyes jointly at his dramatics until finally, Fowler put his head in his hands and exasperatedly motioned for your desk neighbor to leave. Begrudgingly, you watched as Reed did just that, grumbling something under his breath that had your boss glaring at his back as he exited the room.

Everything was quiet as Gavin approached the desk across from yours once more, and everyone tried to look as busy as possible despite the obvious lack of commotion within the usually busy police department.

You relished in that near silence for a few minutes, before suddenly, Fowler's angry voice sounded from just outside of his office door, his glare fixated on Gavin despite you being the only person he was talking to.

Damn, Gavin really had pissed him off, huh?

"Detective L/n!"

He shouted, and you swallowed thickly before standing at once, nodding in his direction to show that you were listening, At the sight of an actually obedient employee, Fowler seemed to calm a bit, although you noted that his hands were still clenched into fists as he spoke,

"How would you like your very own android partner?"

Shocked, you stared at your boss as if he had lost his mind, fighting the urge to ask him if he was sure he had the right person. You were just barely out of rookie status, nowhere near important enough to have earned an android of your own. But, then again, Gavin had blown it, and the unit needed more hands on experts, whether Gavin wanted to work with one them or not, so in the end, you were pretty much the only other option if they didn't want an android going about solving crimes alone.

Swallowing back your various questions and concerns in favor of simply answering the question at hand, you nodded once at your superior,

"It would be crazy of me to say no to an opportunity like that, sir."

You replied as cooly as possible, taking note of the way that Gavin sneered from his seat across from your own as he rolled his eyes at your words. He had called you a kiss ass since your arrival, but truthfully, you just knew when to use the right kind of language with the right kind of person, unlike the incredibly annoying detective you had been forced to call your partner just a few months back.

"Good. Glad to hear there's at least one sane person in the damn Android Crimes Unit."

He grumbled that last part before clearing his throat and speaking up once more,

"Your assigned model is an RK900, the only one in existence. It was originally created as a prototype advanced deviant hunter, but ever since it's... deviance a few months prior, along with the results of the android revolution, employment in a separate area started being considered. You will guide this android in your field work, and maintain a professional relationship with him regardless of your differences, do I make myself clear?"

Shocked to have heard Fowler address this in front of everyone rather than in a private meeting, you nodded quickly and eagerly in response to his words, watching as your boss signed in relief and ran his hand across his face.

"Good. The model was brought by for tuning and integration this morning. He should be by your desk promptly."

Shocked, you opened your mouth to reply, maybe even ask a few questions, but before you could Fowler had returned to his glass enclosure, picking his desk phone up and dialing a number quickly, his shoulders tense and eyebrows drawn together.

Maybe right now wasn't the best time for questions regarding your new android partner.

Sighing, you sat back down once more, trying not to look nervous as you stared back down at the blank tablet on your desk once again.

That is, until a voice, slightly familiar, and somehow also incredibly foreign to you spoke up from your right.

You yelped in response to the sudden sound, jumping in your chair and twisting around to all but gawk at the intimidating man who stood before you.

He looked incredibly similar to Connor, but somehow the slight differences made him seem like a completely different person, and you could tell by the cold expression on his face that they would in no way be sharing similar personalities. Where Connor Anderson, the RK800 model who had deviated nine months ago, was warm and friendly, always ready to ask about your day, this RK900 model was clearly cool and calculated, his gaze consistently disapproving no matter where or who it happened to fall upon.

And to be the subject of said disapproval? It made you shiver before you could even speak up, giving the android in front of you the opportunity to do so first.

"Hello Detective L/n. I am an RK900 prototype built for the purpose of tracking down and dismantling deviants such as my predecessor. That being said, my previous function has been rendered inconsequential due to my status as deviant, and therefore, I have gained employment here, alongside the RK800 model known to you as Connor, in order to support the DPD in the development of android crimes. I understand that you are to be my partner in this task, is this correct?"

You blinked, shocked at the robotic tone of the supposed deviant who stood before you. You stared for a moment, taking in the crisp white jacket that adorned the android's shoulders, and the blinking model number that could be seen on his chest. He was incredibly intimidating, several inches taller than Connor, and far less friendly. It was as if this android felt no reason at all to utilize it's social interaction protocols, and you couldn't help but wonder if that was yet another unexplored area of deviancy.

Slowly, as if unsure of your own actions, you reached your hand out to the android in front of you, clearing your throat as you did so, trying to shake your nerves and muster up the courage to speak.

"I look forward to working with you..."

You trailed off hesitantly, your heartbeat quickening as you felt the unfamiliar chill of the RK900's hand against your own, that gaze never leaving you as your hands interlocked, shaking in greeting slowly,

"Is there something wrong?"

The RK900 model in front of you asked slowly, his words clearly enunciated and incredibly probing as they passed the artificial pink skin of his lips.

"I, uh, I guess I don't know what to call you."

The android quirked it's head in curiosity before it seemed to understand your words, and nodded,

"Ah, yes, your RK800 model-"

"Connor"

You corrected immediately, knowing how much the android in question disliked being called by his model number, your nerves leaving you for the briefest of moments as you stood up for your friend.

"Right, your... Connor"

The RK900 spoke slowly this time, as if testing the way that the sentence sounded in his ears, and you almost smiled at how much it reminded you of his predecessor.

Suddenly, as if he had been enlightened with the correct words to say, the RK900 model cleared his throat, and spoke up again,

"My predecessor, Connor as you call him, goes by a name. This name was given to him upon his distribution, in order to make him more relatable and easy to trust. I was not built to be trusted, nor related to. To put it simply, Detective, I was built for the purpose of destruction, ruination if you will, and that of my own kind in particular. Therefore, I was not given a name as Connor was upon the start of his mission."

You nodded softly, gazed upward at the oh so familiar stranger that stood above you,

"Right, I guess that does make sense... In that case, can we give you a name?"

You asked, tilting your head in question as the android before you stiffened a bit, quirking a brow in response,

"You wish to name me?"

He asked, and you shrugged softly, trying to ignore the heat that was building in your cheeks,

"Well, not exactly. You can pick it if you want to, I just want something to call you that isn't as long as your model number."

Nodding in understanding, the RK900 thought for a moment, before finally reaching what to him was the most logical conclusion.

"I will allow you to choose, since you are so keen on my having a new name to go by as your partner."

You could have sworn you saw the android smirk a bit as he spoke these words, but you shook it off and started thinking hard about potential names for the man in front of you.

This train of thought lasted far longer than you had ever initially anticipated, and eventually, you found yourself groaning out of frustration, hunched over a notepad at your desk two hours after your initial meeting with your new partner.

"Nicholas?"

You offered hopefully, and the man in front of you shook his head for what had to be the one hundredth time that day, that shadow of a smug grin forming on his lips as he met your gaze again from the desk attached to your own, which he had made himself comfortable at shortly after his arrival.

"It just doesn't suit me."

He explained wryly, and you fought to roll your eyes in exasperation as he utilized the same excuse he had been using for the past twenty names. He had a reason to hate everything.

Sighing heavily, you moved to bury your head in your hands, rubbing at your cheeks before you let out an annoyed huff, glaring over at your new partner.

"Two hours in and you're already impossible."

"Oh, on the contrary, Detective."

The android's response was immediate, long and drawn out as he leaned forward so his elbow was on your desk rather than his own, his smirk predatory in a way that made you almost feel frightened as you swallowed thickly while desperately trying to come up with a new name.

"I think I am being quite cooperative. I mean, I've hardly said a thing about that untouched work load of yours."

He finished teasing, and you shot him another glare, as you stood to pace before your shared desk space.

"Well fine then, if a regular name doesn't work, how about something different?"

You asked exasperatedly, and the RK900 leaned forward towards you in what appeared to be mock anticipation,

"Different you say? Go on then Detective, what do you have in mind?"

You thought for a moment, struggling to think of anything, before finally, your eyes fell on that glowing model number upon his jacket, and finally it hit you.

"Nines,"

You breathed out the name as if it were a prayer, and the android in front of you seemed to hum in response, watching you intently as your gaze moved to meet his own once more, challenging and unwavering.

Just what he was hoping to see.

"I like it."

He said after what had felt like an entire minute of deliberation, and you whooped victoriously and jumped excitedly about the small office in response to those three short words, your grin wide and splitting your face in two.

He watched, annoyed by your strange actions, yet somehow also entertained by how improvised and sudden all of your reactions felt to him.

Were all humans like this? If so, this job would get exhausting very fast.

Eventually, you slowed back down and had the sense to look a bit bashful as you sat across from the RK900 - 'Nines' once more, clearing your throat awkwardly as you started to look at your completely empty tablet for what felt like the one millionth time that day.

"I do hope you know that tablet has been depleted of battery life, Detective."

Nines' voice was laced with a bit of humor and cruelty as he spoke, and you groaned internally upon being caught.

You couldn't find the correct words to respond with, so instead you turned your face away from the man sitting on the other side of your desk, trying to focus on anything else but this near stranger who was supposed to be your partner sometime in the near future.

How were you ever going to make it through this with your sanity?

AO3 Link

Series Masterlist

[awakandanavenger]

Hey I saw that your taking request so here I am ! By the way How are u ? How was your day ?

My idea was a story with Natasha an x reader i heard it a long time ago. So Nat and the reader are in a relationship and the reader squezze Nat hand 2 time very gently several time a day and multiple days. Nat never question it at first but then one time she ask her and the reader just froz and keep being silent u know. So nat just let it go and it the end of the day Reader explain that that her way to say I love you without saying the actually words because its hard for her to tell that she love her.

And u can finish it the way u want to ! Love u ! Have a nice day !

I Show It, Don't Say it (Natasha x gn!reader)

Word Count = 432 (roughly, also sorry it's so short. I also tried to keep it as close as possible but not sure if some bits changed.)

A/N - I NEVER proofread my works even on Wattpad I never proofread! So, apologies for any errors and I expect there will be some. I am also trying to write in present tense as I usually write in past tense so this is definitely a change.

A/N - Thanks for the request. This was out of my comfort zone but it's fun to explore new ways of writing which may come in handy for my novel I am writing. And my day has been mostly boring tbh, lectures but oh well. I have no lectures tomorrow or Wednesday so I can write more fics! And hope you all have a nice day too! :)

I’ve been dating Natasha Romanoff for a while now. Two months to be exact and things are starting to get serious now. The only problem is, I want to tell her I love her but I’m just to scared to. So, for now, I have decided to find other ways to let her know just how I feel. I think it's working because we seem to be in a better place than ever!

Right now, I'm out on a walk with Nat hand in hand. We walk in a comfortable silence. Without even realising, I squeeze Nat's hand every now and then. Why? Like I said before, I want to tell her I love her but I'm just too terrified. The possibility of rejection lingers in my mind if I say it out loud. One thing to know about me is I am an over thinker and this is one of the many situations I overthink and generally come up with my worst outcomes in my mind.

The silence is broken when Nat starts speaking. "I have to ask. What's with all the little gestures you do?" "What do you mean?" I ask hoping the conversation I've been putting off for so long isn't about to creep up. "Like when you squeeze my hand every so often. I'm just curious as to what the reason for that is." Yep there it is. Crap. This is it then. I either tell her how I feel or make something completely ridiculous up to avoid the subject which can only have disastrous outcomes. Then again so can actually confessing. So, I may as well come right out and say it.

"You wanna know why I do small gestures such as that?" I ask and she nods waiting for my answer. I take a deep breath trying to stop a panic attack from forming. "It's because I love you." I simply say. Nat freezes and now and is staring me right through my soul. "You do?" She asks unsure of what to say. "I do and I show it, don't say it."

Natasha goes silent again but this time she is deep in thought. This is probably the part where she is going to reject me. But to my shock, she instead takes my hand back in hers and we start walking again but I did not fail to notice the gentle squeeze she gives to my hand. All my fear of rejection has now gone out of the window knowing that she loves me back. Needless to say, the rest of the walk is very peaceful.

A/N - Hope you all enjoyed it. Again sorry it's so short. I need to work at making my fics longer especially if I'll be doing more on here.

[watashijeon]

Strawberry Cake | KNJ

→ Warnings: (+18) — nj tries to be good with his strict upbringing but fails thrice, blowjob in the religion section of the library, cum eating, ditzy and cute nymphet yn gets what she wants with her tits, incorrect talk about gaming - it’s made up for the story, accidental sex injury, missionary, intense orgasm that comes with aftercare and teasing.

He couldn’t help it, before meeting you and experiencing this all.. Namjoon was at a time once a traditional man with set values and preferred doing things the old fashioned way.

Maybe you could call him tedious but he came from an upbringing of always open the door for your lady, bombarded to finish military esque chores under a certain time, no articles of black clothing were to be worn because it was considered “rebelling into a goth” even if many times he would explain that wearing black clothing didn’t make him goth to his parents. Oh and how could he forget his favorite, the rule of having to be home by six fucking pm.

He surely loved having a military sergeant for his father. Only needless to say, he may have went crazy when he was finally allowed to go off to college. Doing anything along the lines of drinking, trying his share with drugs and the great idea of experimenting with all kinds of different people sexually.

Besides, what else was there to do from study and attend classes. It didn’t mean his parents kept him in a cage to be exact — they were only being protective, for good reason at least. Namjoon still had a fine childhood and was only still taught to keep all traditional values in the mix of his living. Some definitely got tapered to his own liking because the man was no brain washed fiend to be held at his father’s will with being a grown man now.

He was more or so grateful to have a splurge of being crazy and wild in his first few years of college, he did the most boyish thing of hooking up with all kinds of women and men and never forgetting to party his mind and body off to the limit.

He had a very great tact for knowing how to prioritize his grades perfectly. While allowing himself to live it up to a great amount, he may have articulated his college life to the point of making it sound like a to-do list he thinks.

Only now his traditional values were suddenly tweaked another tidbit once he entered into third year, finally growing out of the big partying phase he held onto for much too long in his honest opinion.

He wanted to actually get to know a person genuinely as a whole of who they were — well, that’s if he met one that peaked his interest to begin with.

It was challenging since he desired to have a friendship that formed into a relationship type of dynamic, his mother didn’t help with filling him in with all of the romance novels she read when he was back in highschool. His father didn’t care to listen for her aimless rambles of passion and he was far much too late for saving poor Kim Namjoon from the troubles of maladaptive daydreaming about love.

It really caused him to overly romanticized of a true one of a kind friends to lovers typical love story for himself, he may have had the childhood of a saltine cracker many could say with how well out he came to be for a man in this age, thinking for his future in such foolish ways not many other men would desire.

So where did it all go? What happened to his great big new plan of wanting to wait in getting to know the person and later have sex.

Well.. it was just unceremoniously that he had to tutor a helpless girl that was terribly lacking in his best and favorite course subject: organic chemistry.

His professor had begged of him to tutor you and like the well mannered man he is, he would of course say yes when extra credit was to be rewarded if your grade came up from his great talent of teaching things simply and well.

Mm, he could make a chemistry love joke if the situation were a bit different. You agreed to meet in the library as his superior suggested, it was simple to start off and actually going fine and well — textbooks were both array from each other along with his own well written notes paired to your sloppy scribbles and mess of an excuse for all colored pink and purple stationary scattered throughout the table.

While compared to Namjoon’s neat notes being in the particular style of the Cornell method mixed with the outline method. He was a proud man at his perfect note taking skills.

Until the man’s very eyes decided to trail nose up from his proud work to see you snicker with you leaned way too close for his own comfort, your lips would continue to fall into a sarcastic joke at how unnecessary and seriously he took this class. He couldn’t even begin to utter a strong retort because well — Namjoon was one of the attendees in debate back in high school, not shocking, huh.

You somehow ruin him when he sees how even closer your chest is to meet at his eye level, he could also maybe dabble into the great fact that a cherry lollipop was shamefully jammed into your left cheek. While beady eyes stared deep at his own soul with a look of pity, acting as if he was the dumb one in dire need of help.

He finally would find himself to grapple onto the words lodged in his throat, getting you to begin your work with also shutting you right up with the seriousness laced in his deep voice.

But now he would find it almost insane to him really with how things changed quick between the two of you, maybe it was bound to happen with you coming for tutoring from once a month if maybe you felt like it. Turning to be a tutoring study session of twice a week or more if he could manage.

You would grow impatient one day, frustrated and mad you whined to Namjoon pawing at his thigh with those sweet innocent eyes.

That were none of the sort at being actually innocent, you carried to bounce dramatically in your chair begging him to do something that was interesting. What was the interesting thing you decided you should do for the fuck of it?

With instead of studying and working, you would settle down onto your knees to blow Namjoon in the back area of the library.

In the corner that would be considered dusty and untouched if it weren’t for the top notch university cleaning funds, earning him and his dick to be blown profusely in the ancient aisle. Which section was that again? Oh yes, the religion section, how more greater could this get for him and his very strict “morals.”

You were here on your knees right now just suckling and taking all of him, before his knees decided they could buckle inward whispering profusely in his hushed voice “Fuck fuck fuck, gonna cum in your mouth. Stop— shit, stop stop.” you don’t, you don’t fucking stop.

You looked up at him with those imploring eyes and suck on Namjoon even harder, burying your nose to his cleanly shaven shaft. Both hands squeezing tight onto his hips for your very own leverage, before a throaty groan fills the air along with your throat also being filled.

Like the champ you always were to be with dick sucking, you swallowed him whole. It was almost in a blink of an eye you pull off from him with a wet pop, tongue open and out to show that indeed you swallowed his load.

You were quick to fall into a fit of giggling straight at the expression his face held, which was contained and filled only of utter shock and confusing arousal. The man was barely able to fumble around on his stutters, quick on tucking himself back into his pants “Umm.. I can you know.. give you—” he motions his hands at you with an awkward up and down motion trying to get his message across.

You’re kind of stupid he won’t lie, in the way that things go way over your head. You ogled at him with only nothing but honest confusion, gawking at him with a look. Before it finally clicked in your little mind and you just snicker quietly shaking your head at him “Oh, no it’s ok. I just wanted to suck your dick since the second i’ve been forced to start coming to these sessions.” He huffs with his nod falling terse and stiff, he doesn’t know what to say.

What, say thank you for sucking his dick let’s continue studying now..? Man what the fuck.

Namjoon isn’t only made up of book smarts and wisdom, he has a life himself and in his free time he likes to spend it in his bedroom playing counter strike until he was seething, snapping teeth shut and cursing many swear words under his breath that were always and only filled with anger. Until he would finally win his level back and be all ok again because he is that entitled, it was a serious thing for him.

But now since you’re his girlfriend, if that is even what you were? He doesn’t know if he’s being quite honest. You both haven’t made the effort to make anything clear since the first time you gave him head three months ago.

You would just linger and lounge around his apartment now, either doing the following which was: laying on his bed, napping on his bed — he doesn’t mind since your perfume stains his sheets and you can call Namjoon creepy but he likes how you smell and he doesn’t care about your scent lingering near.

You did everything around him, sometimes even painting your nails or carrying to do — which he considered to be your specialty: bothering Namjoon. Well, he can’t be that harsh because he enjoys your company.

But you did pester him to give you his attention every damn time, whining that he’s been on for too long. When in all honest reality every time he finally gets on it’s only been an hour barely, which was absolutely nothing considering how long matches are. You don’t get that, it’s not like you try to listen even when he explains.

It’s ok really, he finds it quite cute with how dumb you are about things so silly like this.

Besides the point you were being exceptionally bothersome today, on your knees poking at his thighs to get off and that he can go on in just a few minutes. He knew that was a lie, once he gets off he was eternally trapped to give you his undivided attention.

He likes your craving for his attention but Namjoon is very busy right now “Come on, please! Joon get off.” you whine pressing your apple cheek to his sweats, making sure to leave a mark of your foundation on him.

He once again doesn’t care, too distracted with his eyes glued over his screen “Shhh baby, five more minutes.” you finally give up with a sigh, going mute before he would hear his bed springs creak and a nervous whisper.

As if you were realizing self consciously that you could be annoying him “Can I.. speak then, at least?” his head cocked barely over his shoulder “Yes you can, whatever you want to talk about.” he sends you a quick dimpled smile and his head is already shot right back to his screen immediately, the familiar sounds of gunshots and a loud aish while hushed breaths fell into a jumble of constant swears.

He listens to every ramble of whatever you go on a tangent about and takes in every details like his life depends on it, he doesn’t mind if you play with your fingers avoiding eye contact while speaking about how ice cream cake should be sold in slices just like candy is sold in bags, you declare that business would be booming if it happened and he agrees.

You’re the type of girl to ask to play mermaids and if you asked him, he would say yes. He is absou fucking lutely whipped for you. You kick your feet back and forth giggling every time, laying spread open on his bed with your tits bouncing at every moment. Rambling about how you want to go to the beach with him, he sees the latter. You are very fucking cute and he doesn’t understand at all why you like him.

You eventually grow quiet again over time and he’s confused while also being maybe a bit of worried, you were considered to be a certified chatterbox and things are never ending to that brain of yours. He wasn’t that much of a dick so he had the courtesy to pause and check if you were doing ok, his eyes shuffle briefly between his screen and to you.

Almost doubling over in movement to do a double take, his jaw immediately falls open with pupils dilated. The same look he does when he didn’t have any words to spare in the passing moment, deja vu is honestly crazy.

Right now you’re staring right at him. Only a foot away from him on your hands and knees, now most girls or people at least he should say. When they are in their house or visiting friends, they wear homeless people clothes right? Noo, surely not, at least for you.

You’re sat up on your knees over the end of his bed comforter, looking like that. He barely made effort at all to look when you walked in to see your outfit properly, he regrets that wholeheartedly now.

You were talking about this earlier, he doesn’t know how he missed it. Going on about how hard it is to get into Barbie dream skirts. He doesn’t or didn’t know what any of that means if he’s going to be honest here, his eyes could trace over the short skirt to linger up and over the pink tank top with rose buds sewn on by you. Your tits were almost spilling from how tight it fit your bosom, pretty soft skin peaking out and screaming at him to find his spot and bury his face between.

You smiled with a grin that was up to no good, your head tilted to rest off on your shoulder comfortably “Namjoon.” his eyes snapped up to cough out bluntly “Yes, what is it?” he has forgotten his once well important video game that was importantly ranked, not even minding about the multiple kills he was probably stacking up for his enemy right now.

It was their lucky day to milk it to whatever extent they desired because Namjoon had other places to be. He shifts in his chair, eyes never not leaving your face.. respectfully. Trying his best to be mannerly as possible from not to go off staring at your tits again.

He finally decided to pull his headset off from his neck to lay it on the desk, Namjoon licks his lips unconsciously. Ready to combust in his pants at the way he watches you wiggle on the bed, while you adjusted yourself for him.

Dainty hands rested mannerly on your lap before going on to speak eloquently “I know you are busy… but but,” your eyes fall short back on your lap until building the courage to stare back up, he was always patient. Never once having a problem with you pausing for long minutes at a time, he understood “Will you just-“ your eyes stared heavily now at his, nibbling nervously on your bottom lip. He had a great feeling what you were going to say but he waited for you to utter the very sinful words.

To his surprise, his breath quickly sucked into his throat seeing your hands slowly trail up from your lap up to your waist. Fingers coming up way too slow if you were trying to show him something mundane, fingers come up under the hem of your top pulling the fabric right up flashing your bra cladded chest “I want to..” you whine bouncing on your knees for good reason, breasts moving again at the impact.

Your pout was fallen to be genuine with teary eyes begging for him to simply pay attention and just how could he ever say no to that. His dick says it’s out of the question really, but he feels cocky today and he doesn’t know why out of all days it’s now “You want to what?” he wets his lips raising that questionable brow at you, causing you to dramatically gasp.

Mouth fallen into an even droopier pout, eyes finally meeting, he thinks his heart just broke a bit. But he can’t give it up now, he has his dignity to keep ahold. He watched you quickly fumble around to unclasp your white bombshell bra and his heart is bouncing off the walls with skyrocketing excitement, he can’t help that you make him feel like a raging hormone filled teenager all over again.

You fumble quickly ripping off your bra to throw it off to the side flashing tits to him bouncing with fervor and need, keeping arms up halfway to hold your shirt up still not have taking it off all the way “Please just give me attention!” he gulps heavily adam’s apple bobbing, yeah you know, fuck his dignity now.

“Joonie don’t stop please!” your legs are hooked over broad muscular shoulders, his arm wrapped right around your hip to help support your shaking frame.

The man was currently pushed guts deep into you right now, easily starting with a gentle pace to somehow land you in the position of your legs thrown over his shoulders while he practically speared himself into you. The sounds you made alone blossomed from him pummeling himself into your heat, every so often making your slick gush.

Which would only cause the knowing grin and turn his movements to slip much deeper to hit your unknown sweet spot that’s never been reached with any dick or tongue you met with. Namjoon is satisfied with his accomplishment as if your pussy was giving him an Xbox achievement, and he can’t bare to think when he is trying to keep his breath even in an effort to ground himself from blowing his load here and now.

While.. you on the other hand were trying to keep up with the girth of his dick hammering into your pussy at a constant. The man grunts continuing to slam hard into you, you’re now so wet to where he could hear squelch noises being made with every smack.

Feeling the way you squeeze around him just sucking him in more, your pussy being very telling of how greedy you were for his cock.

“Yes, right— harder o-h, my god!” you cried pleading him your voice long gone broken.

Whimpers falling pitiful, you try your hardest to keep your eyes open. Which only urged nothing but to push the devil (Namjoon) to pick up his already inhumane pace, who knew a nerd would have the strongest stroke game.

Drilling into your sweet spot head on with each deep drive of his hips “You like that baby, huh.” you hiccup in trying to speak any word at all, you loved dirty talking with your partner. It was only possible before with past hook ups because they came nothing compared to this disgusting feral sex.

His smirk is all the ways of cocky nodding down at you, beads of sweat dripping from his hairline to his chest “Right there?" deep honey voice mocking you only with faux care, dark eyes not faltering once to stare lasers into your picture perfect side profile.

Namjoon has had many hook ups in his past time of third year but he has never, and he means it when never has he hooked up with anyone that sounded this pornographic and heavenly.

To the point that with every sound you made, he swore his dick got harder. If that was even possible to achieve, he was only forever thankful now that he didn’t have to share a dorm with anyone like the last two years. He was sure though that his neighbors were fuming on speed dial with his landlord.

“Yes there, fuck me there!” your brain was nothing but mush by now, almost to the point at feeling so much. You couldn't catch yourself to stop moaning, it just felt too fucking good to the point of wanting to sob like the crybaby you were. You could feel every inch of him in your heat, it was all the better feeling fingers press over your tummy bulge.

Squirming and squealing, big hands snaked to your hips in godspeed, his chest leaving yours to lean back on his feet while thrusts slowed. He didn’t want to cum, not just yet. He needed to make this last a bit longer regardless of how sweaty and sticky you both were — you weren’t going to protest at any point.

“God,” he groans between heavy pants trying to get his own words out “you’re going to kill me.. truly.” it was evident enough with seeing your pretty puffy ‘n swollen cunt desperately squeeze tightly around him.

He pants like a dog himself now, making sure to dig fingers into your unmarked skin. Maybe hoping you would bruise red and blue, his dick gives proof when he twitches at the prospect of his death grip of touch tainted on your body.

Namjoon had duality that was for damn sure, he didn’t waste a second with manhandling you. He somehow knew how to make soft and gentle sex turn into feral and disgustingly hot fucking. It didn't help at all that he was tall and large, consuming your size kink whole. His shirts were definitely too tight for his chest, that same chest heaving of air against yours.

Here now, you can barely catch a proper breath “I-”you choke the rest of words again lost and forgotten in your throat. Cold shaky fingers griped tightly over shoulders, growing even more desperate to bring one hand down and rub sloppily on your abused clit.

You thanked the universe that you started to attend tutoring properly, you make a nice little reminder in your head to send a thank you note to the very kind professor who told you about him in the first place.

“Such a good fucking girl.” he praises almost purring his words, you can’t bother to respond yet, sufficing a nod against the tight crook of his muscly shoulder trembling to death around him in only your bliss.

“Y-yes yes, ‘m your good girl, yours p-please.”

Namjoon grins at the way you blubber with nothing but nonsense, ready to make you speak in proper tongues once he was finished “You ready for more, pretty girl?” he doesn’t need his proper answer when hearing you whine with an even tighter squeeze to your cunt, watching you start to bounce your body up against him in desperate need. Greedy whore.

He loved this. The bed creaking beneath shared weight, sweaty bodies gliding together with nails sunken deep into the man’s insanely muscular and toned back that clawed into his dampen skin with desperation for a grip. You couldn’t believe how he made you feel this forsaken small and warm, hand wrapped with a duality of rough and gentleness to the column of your neck. He pulls back to look at the product of his work, making sure to give you every deep languid thrust he could with his godly stamina.

Your body was too fucking pretty and perfect for his lust driven thirsty self, pupils immediately dilated at the angelic sight of your tits bouncing with silver heart shaped earrings at his pace. He wouldn’t begin to believe how gorgeous you looked under him like this with eyes screwed shut, nibbling down on your lip until blood could draw to the surface. Lids flutter back to open, staring deeply into his eyes.

Knuckles turning white as you hold onto his arm that held from over around your waist. He leans forward still moving up, and down at a steady and much slower speed than before.

Allowing needy muted moans, deep pants and heavy grunts roam into your mouth while he could barely contain to kiss you properly only but his breath and lips ghosting against yours. You would usually whine at the teasing but you are much far gone and hyper focused on the edge of your end, he knows and finally speaks with a growl “You gonna cum, pretty?” you nod like a bobble head with an empty whine.

He pulls back in a final push of his cock deep into your cunt, your walls spasming, gushing out heavy trickles of arousal staining his lower abdomen. He feels your body seize, eyelashes fluttering while he hisses quietly moaning to himself at the feeling of you gripping the tightest a woman could. Your thighs trembling as you gasp and moan for air; your vision becoming of spotty stars and black dots. Feeling yourself go flush when warm arms slide up to rest around your fragile frame.

You now wanted him to pound into you standing up you squeeze weakly around him just thinking about it, earning you a low moan. You need him to cum inside you, feeling no regrets about going on birth control.

He pecks the corner of your mouth with a soft whisper, “Hold on for me baby, mmh?” you nod again.. not trusting yourself to speak.

It’s almost like you have no time to think when you feel the sudden force of Kim Namjoon leaning back to pull your legs up into chopsticks, both hands wrapped tight to keep your wobbling limbs together. Feeling everything in your body when he thrusts up into all the right spots of your gushing heat that no other foolish boy could even think of attaining.

You’re convulsing and shaking while creaming him as If you weren’t enough, screaming his name begging him to never stop even if your pussy feels like it’s going numb. Panting so loud yet it sounds so soft in your own ears, your whole body feeling nothing but never ending shocks of pleasure and overstimulation while you can finally feel his seed fill your womb out whole and you feel like you can’t do anything, not even breathe, only heavily hyperventilate.

You can’t feel anything around you, your body is nothing but a spiral of trembles and shakes with a liquid leaking from your battered fuckhole. You can feel him ease out from you, toes curling weakly from the soreness of it all. Once the man was down from his high.. or at least going through the aftermath. He felt himself panic, he could tell you’ve become unresponsive.

His mind was still foggy and he could only think to remember that you liked to be called peach, you once told him that yourself so it was considered your nickname to the man now. He doesn’t exactly know what prevailed him to right now in this moment, he didn’t even stop to think if it would scare you off or not “Shhh peach, it’s ok baby. I’m right here.” you respond, nodding with a bite down on your lip again all for your dear life before a warm yet somehow cold hand came to squeeze your cheeks to let go.

Your eyes are wobbly over his but he can let a breath of relief when you are finally responding with something “Don’t go biting your lip off like that.” you smile in your own little world of unadulterated bliss, sniffling away with a small giggle and another nod.

“No more silly worries,” He nods more so to himself while babbling with no sense “no more.” you roll your eyes at his own silly way to comfort, but it works.

While you notice he sounded nervous with his deep voice registering much deeper that reverberated up to your chest and down to your tummy. You begin to stutter, trying your best to speak a mountain for untellligble words again, “J-ust overwhelmed, ‘m ok. Promise.” both remain still for awhile, the only sound in the room is heavy breathing and the soft whirr of the man’s aircon that breaks every so often.

Namjoon feels his consciousness has returned properly, he eases your hips more comfortably down to the bed, just before he walks away he slaps his softening length across your abused pussy. He laughs while he walks on shaky legs towards his bathroom, hearing you properly curse at him that he would never get laid again if he did that to you. He shakes his head with a quiet snicker knowing it was all one big lie, he comes back with a wet lukewarm cloth for you who still laid limp like you were dead.

He hands you the cloth as he laid back down beside you, while minutes more of silence passed Namjoon takes notice of the adorable scowl you were doing while scrunching up your nose and squirming uncomfortably under his arm without saying anything. Before he could ask what’s up, you cut straight to the chase. Eyes trailing up to look from under his nose, “Joonie.. I think my cervix is going to be bruised.” He freezes almost akin to a cartoon character that got caught, his eyes make sure to make proper contact with you pushing his chin down in all seriousness he contained “Are you serious, I didn’t want to do that.” when he wanted bruises on your body, he didn’t mean them internally.

Namjoon was definitely very well endowed and tends to find himself rough during the act, he wants to banish himself from having sex forever because no woman deserves to get hurt from his own dick. He even took a sex education class at one point, upon per his parents own request, but still— how could he be this irresponsible and not mindful of his partn-.

He is going to fall into a never ending list of what he needs to do to make this all ok and right “Joon-ah, stop that idiot!” you smack his chest hard trying to bring him back to reality “What.” he’s acting so serious and stern now, he needs to take a breath before you laugh in his face without explaining why.

“You are doing that thing where you think of a weird plan to fix something.. that isn’t in need to be fixed, dummy.” you huff and puff now, crossing arms over to cover your chest “All I need is an Advil and a hot pack, at best.” you smile up to him genuinely and he is sure to trace every inch of your features before moving on to speak “Ok.. ok, that’s good. I’m very fucking sorry again.” he coughs awkwardly rubbing over the nape of his neck, you don’t even wait and allow him to go into another spiral of thinking.

Reaching out with your pinky to poke his dimple properly, it’s been in your mind for awhile of the thing you needed to do. Namjoon smiles almost to the point of blushing red, he would need to find time in his own week to attend church to thank whoever was above and simultaneously apologize all at once.

You always catch him so off guard when he thinks for far too long, he needs to stop doing that. He feels his bed springs creak again and he watches you tip toe around his bedroom to pick up your clothes with a flick of a wrist as of collecting for laundry day “’ll be going,” Namjoon stutters with a slow blink, quick down to push out his words “I can order take out?”

You hum thinking about it almost for a second too long, most would cave at the offer of free food and immediately say yes because why not. Until you decided on shaking your head with that sweet gentle smile “Nuh uh, I’ll be ok! It’s getting late anyways and I have to be up for an eight am. Which means..” your brain carries off with the same o shaped gasp “I would have to get up at six to properly get ready, damn it.” you groan eternally and whine wiggling back on the skirt you struggled to fit into.

Making sure at all costs to fix your hair, you turned over your shoulder to smile at a half naked and loopy smiling Namjoon “I will text you maybe, you’re fun or something like that!” you slyly giggled prancing out the door with a long sashay, like nothing happened.

The man feels nothing of himself but only — more aroused, thinking on how you could be confusing yet fucking hot. He makes another big mental note to call you sometime for another impromptu study date.

°˖✧ critique + feedback is welcomed ԅ( ˘ω˘ԅ )

a/n: ive been stuck on my three wips sooo i found this old thing where the day i had the sudden spurt of inspiration to write horny nymphet y/n that can’t stop herself from jumping joon’s bones, enjoy :•)!

[nattikay]

Katxí, Navi learner here^^

I'm trying to learn Na'vi but I'm having a really hard time figuring out the grammar of the language do you think you could explain it a bit?

Kaltxì! Sorry it took me a hot minute to get to this, I knew it would take a long time to type up which was a tad intimidating ^^;

So uhhh needless to say I can't really teach you the entirety of the grammar in one post like this, but I can go over a few basic things to help get you started. :)

A common place to begin are the closely-related concepts of free word order, case endings, and transitivity!

───

Sooooo in English, word order is very important. "cat eats fish" and "fish eats cat" mean completely different things, and "eats fish cat" hardly makes sense at all. Na'vi, however, features limited free word order--words can go (almost) anywhere in a sentence without changing the meaning.

But if words can go anywhere in a sentence, how do you make sense of it? How do you know whether the fish or the cat is doing the eating? That's where case endings come in!

Case endings are suffixes that mark a noun's role in a sentence. Na'vi has five case endings, but we'll start with two: -l and -t.

Simple sentences like "cat eats fish" can be broken down into three parts:

1.) the verb, or the action of the sentence 2.) the subject, which is doing the action 3.) the direct object, which is having the action done to it

In Na'vi, the subject is marked the the L ending (-l for nouns that end in vowels, -ìl for consonants), and the direct object is marked with the T ending (-t for vowels, -it for consonants, or optionally -ti for any noun).

So let's return to our sentence and say that the cat (palulukantsyìp) is the one eating (yom) the fish (payoang).

What is the action of the sentence? Eat! What is doing the eating? Cat! Palulukantsyìp takes the -l ending. What is being eaten? Fish! Payoang takes the -t ending.

So, palulukantsyìpìl payoangit yom the cat eats the fish

or... palulukantsyìpìl yom payoangit payoangit palulukantsyìpìl yom payoangit yom palulukantsyìpìl yom palulukantsyìp payoangit yom payoangit palulukantsyìpìl

All six of these orders are 100% valid and mean exactly the same thing!

If we want to switch the meaning so the fish is doing the eating, instead of using a particular order, we just switch the case endings:

palulukantsyìpit payoangìl yom the fish eats the cat

Pretty straightforward! Let's throw in a third case ending: the R ending (-r or -ru for vowels, -ur for consonants), which marks the indirect object.

Consider the sentence I give you a gift.

What is the action? Give! What is doing the giving? I! oe takes the -l ending What is being given? Gift! stxeli takes the -t ending

So far so good...but wait, we are forgetting a noun! If "I" is the subject and "gift" is the direct object, then what is "you"? As you've probably guessed, it's the indirect object! It can often be translated as "to [noun]".

Oel ngaru stxelit tìng I give you a gift (I give a gift to you)

Now that we're familiar with -l, -t, and -r, let's shake it up a bit:

───

A common mistake I see with beginners is to always use the -l ending on the subject of a sentence. However, some sentences don't need it. The -l (and, with it, the -t) only show up with subject/direct object pairs.

That said, not all verbs can take direct objects. The ability for a verb to take a direct object is called transitivity. A transitive verb can take a direct object. An intransitive verb cannot.

In many cases the transitivity of a verb is fairly intuitive. For example, eat, like we used before, is transitive--you can "eat something". However, you cannot "sleep something". "I eat an apple" makes sense. "I sleep an apple" does not. Therefore, sleep is intransitive--it cannot take a direct object.

Because there is no direct object to distinguish from the subject, the subject of an intransitive verb does not need to be marked.

oel hahaw → oe hahaw I sleep

*quick note that transitive verbs are allowed to take a direct object, but are not required to--when there is no direct object, the -l ending is not used, even if the verb is listed as transitive in the dictionary. So, "I eat an apple" would be oel äpllti yom, but "I eat" by itself would simply be oe yom, without the -l.]

However, some verbs that look like they should be transitive are actually intransitive (the only way to know for sure is to check a dictionary). A particularly infamous example is the verb nume ("to learn")--I'm pretty sure just about every learner (including myself!) has made the mistake of trying to say oel nume lì'fyat leNa'vi ("I learn the Na'vi language") at some point or other!

There are a handful of ways to work around verbs that look like they should be transitive but aren't. Which one to use depends on the sentence. We'll cover two of them here:

───

The first is to use the R ending. Often, the word that appears to be the direct object of an intransitive verb is actually the indirect object, and therefore receives the -R ending.

Consider the sentence Mother cleans the house.

House (kelku) appears to be the direct object here. It is the thing being cleaned, right? However, the verb for "clean", laro si, is intransitive, so it cannot take a direct object. Remember when I said that indirect objects can often be translated as "to [noun]"? This is where that can come in handy:

Sa'nok kelkur laro si Mother cleans the house ("Mother does a clean to the house") (*note that the subject, sa'nok, is unmarked--remember that -l and -t only show up with subject/direct object pairs, which can only occur with transitive verbs)

───

The second workaround requires introducing another case ending: the topical (-ri for vowels, -ìri for consonants). This case ending is considered a bit more "advanced" since English doesn't really have a solid equivalent, so don't worry if it's a little confusing right now, but if you've studied certain other languages such as Japanese before you may be familiar with the idea.

The topical case ending introduces a noun as the "topic" of a sentence, which the rest of the sentence proceeds to make a comment about. It is often translated as "concerning [noun]..." or "as for [noun]..." or "regarding [noun]..."

Li'fyari lu sìltsan fwa tskxekeng si pxìm! It's good to practice language often! ("Concerning language, it's good to practice often!")

Using this ending is the correct way to say every new learner's favorite sentence mentioned earlier:

Lì'fyari leNa'vi oe nume! I'm learning Na'vi! ("Regarding the Na'vi language, I learn!")

*quick note--remember how at the very beginning of the post I said that Na'vi has limited free word order? Well, here's one of the limits: when using the topical, it is always expected to come at the beginning of a sentence/clause (in the forest dialect, at least--putting the topical at the end of a sentence is considered acceptable in the reef dialect but don't worry about that right now lol)

───

Well, that covers four of the five case endings in Na'vi. Might as well mention the last one: the possessive (I believe the fancy linguist term is genitive), which is -yä for words that end in vowels (except u and o because reasons), and -ä for everything else.

As you've probably guessed, this case ending describes possession. It can be translated as [thing] of [owner] and/or [owner]'s [thing]. The ending attaches to the owner.

Meysiyä syuve "Meysi's food" or "food of Meysi" (because of free word order, syuve Meysiyä also works! However, while it doesn't matter which side you put the owner on, you will want to make sure the two nouns are next to each other in the sentence. This is another example of the free word order being limited.)

Sa'nokä tìyawn "[a] mother's love" or "[the] love of [a] mother"

Pukä hapxì "part of [a] book"

Oeyä tsmukan "my brother" or "brother of mine"

───

aaaaaand that's all of the case endings! Originally I thought about going into a bit about infixes/verb conjugation too since that's also a pretty fundamental part of the grammar but this post it getting crazy long as-is; another time perhaps.

Hopefully that gives you an ok jumping-off point; if you need anything clarified or want to know about a different particular bit of grammar, feel free to ask!

[angelwheat]

How would the Primis + Ultimis crew be like with a s/o who has social anxiety? ♥️

Call of Duty Zombies

1.0 & 2.0; S/O With Social Anxiety

Aw dearie, I strongly sympathise with anyone who suffers from this 💕

2.0 (Primis)

Tank Dempsey

You're quite the opposite when it comes to Dempsey's social forwardness. Goodness knows he'll talk the ears off of anyone if he's comfortable with them. He's mindful of the things that make you anxious in public and will try his utmost to avoid those things. He tries to encourage you to overcome things that make you anxious, but will never pressure you. He hopes you can gain some confidence just by seeing how extroverted he is.

Edward Richtofen

He's very sympathetic as he too suffers with anxiety, just perhaps not as severely as you when it comes to being social. He understands that certain things might be a trigger, and will make sure to avoid it at all costs. He urges you to try and overcome your social anxiety and is willing to help you, but he knows it's easier said than done. He understands that interacting with the public is too much sometimes, and honestly, he would much rather stay home too.

Nikolai Belinski

He's another extrovert and isn't too familiar with social anxiety himself, but he's very sympathetic of your struggles. He's understanding, and knows that some people are naturally more shy of social interactions. Therefore, he won't pressure you to interact with anyone if you don't wish to. If you happen to be in public with Nikolai, and he senses that you're overwhelmed, he has no problem taking you away from your trigger. If you want, he doesn't mind going back to the serenity of your home. He won't try to change you. He just accepts the way you are. But don't worry, he always looks out for you.

Takeo Masaki

He's not shy or anxious, but he is fairly quiet only naturally. He probably noticed how anxious you can be when he first met you, and since he's always been sympathetic. He understands how hard and overwhelming socialising can really be, so he more or less just lets you be. If you don't want to talk to anyone, so be it. If you're not feeling very confident around others, just stay by his side, and you'll be fine. Needless to say, Takeo is very understanding.

1.0 (Ultimis)

Tank Dempsey

As he got older, he came to have a disliking to socialising for so long. He tends to avoid crowded bars because he finds himself agitated by so much noise. Needless to say, you wouldn't have to stress so much if you're out with him. While he doesn't quite understand your anxiety, Dempsey has no problem doing any talking for you if need be. However, he does want a further understanding of your anxiety. He asks fairly basic questions but won't push any further if it's a tough subject for you. He makes sure to look out for you when you're out together.

Edward Richtofen

He changed a lot as he got older. He can talk the ears off anyone. As he grew to become more of an extrovert, Edward truly doesn't understand the severity of your anxiety. He tells you about himself when he was younger and how, over time, he overcame certain things, hoping to reassure you and somewhat sympathise. Edward might question you about it, but not much. Nonetheless, he's not pushy. If you don't want to socialise or talk to anyone, Edward understands.

Nikolai Belinski

He got lazy with regard to socialising as he got older. If he can avoid confrontation and crowded places, he makes sure he does so. He's sympathetic and hates seeing you overwhelmed in public, so he'll wrap an arm around you in hopes of soothing you. He wants to understand your anxiety more, but he doesn't know how to bring it up. But Nikolai will reassure you by letting you know that he's always there for you when you need him.

Takeo Masaki

Again, he is not very talkative, but that only means he's much more observant. Takeo certainly notices your anxiety, but he's unsure of how to handle it. He wants to understand your anxiety first, but feels that he shouldn't be pushy about the subject, especially as you're prone to such intense stress. Thus, he silently helps you. Takeo steers you clear of any triggers and gives you subtle words of reassurance. He definitely wants to see your social confidence rise, but all in its own time.

[kaiserposting]

Mayuri Kurotsuchi ― Truce

PAIRING: Mayuri Kurotsuchi/Reader WORD COUNT: 2.6k TYPE: Crackfic WARNING: Some NSFW jokes NOTE: Note: This is the same reader character as Thorn In Your Side, but you can read it without reading the first one

Someone left a note for Kurotsuchi Mayuri outside of office hours, which was impressive considering he worked until late at night. Whoever it was must've been very adamant not to cross paths with him and relay the message verbally. He examined the envelope with visible boredom, toying with the edges.

It was possible this came from the Captain Commander. Only Yamamoto was ancient enough for it to be reasonable to write a letter instead of contact Mayuri through the computer system, but then again, he was among cavemen. It could've been something the brute Zaraki asked the toddler to write for him (obviously, he had to be illiterate).

After he ripped the wrapping, Mayuri realized this was not Yamamoto's handwriting, though the paper had been folded and the words in the upper right corner brought a smile to his face.

Kuchiki, Byakuya Division 6, Captain Letter of Complaint Subject: [L/n] [Y/n], Division 12, Unseated Officer

Amazing. You could get in huge trouble for whatever transgression you committed against him. It was also nice to know you had become the bane of someone else's existence for once. The excitement at the prospect of having an excuse to fire you could've been enough to give him a boner on a bad day. Mayuri controlled his movements like he was trying to prolong the moment before he opened a long-awaited present, manic grin widening with every passing beat.

Dear Captain Kurotsuchi,

I would like to know how you have allowed that waste of a Shinigami to happen?

Whatever happiness Mayuri may have been feeling vanished. His eye twitched.

That snob Byakuya had some nerve using this as his opening line, addressing him in such an insolent manner. Maybe this was why he was an embarrassment to his clan, because he said shit like this. And... an unexpected defensiveness came over him. Sure, he had called you worse, but that was between you and him. Considering Byakuya's lieutenant was about as smart as a bag of rocks, Mayuri did not want to hear his criticisms of you.

Perhaps it was hypocritical since he had been excited to read all about it earlier, but he found it wasn't half as satisfying as he had imagined. Definitely nothing to jizz about. Regardless, he had to continue.

What were you thinking, letting an unseated officer prance around psychoanalyzing people?

Okay, Mayuri did not let you do that. It was one of those things you went off to do on your own, like usual. But that was part of the game, which Byakuya didn't understand since he seemed to be a moron or because he didn't care, but either way Mayuri disliked that the blame for your horrid behavior fell on him.

He was a man of research, however, and because of this, curiosity about what you had said to prompt this plagued him.

Surely if you had disciplined the fool properly, they would know they have no right to speak to me in that way. A District 72 runt of no standing to a captain such as myself, nonetheless.

There was the obligatory nobleman drivel. Though he found it interesting how you had pissed off Byakuya enough that he went and dug into your background. Mayuri scratched his chin.

This was a misunderstanding of your character. Mayuri had 'put you in your place' many times throughout the centuries you had known each other. It was just that it accomplished nothing. Since you were both dedicated scientists, things changed over the years, of course, since stagnancy wasn't beneficial. But something that wasn't prone to evolution was your audacity. Again, the notion that Mayuri tolerated you without repercussions was insulting.

And you knew you had 'no right' to say whatever you had said to Byakuya, probably. It didn't stop you from doing so, was all.

It disgusts me to type this out or think about it again, but nevermind. Needless to say, I don't appreciate being told that I am 'frustrated (in a vulgar manner of sorts) because of my self-inflicted vow of celibacy' and other such presumptuous things. Especially from the likes of that person.

I would hereby like to request [L/n] [Y/n]'s expulsion. I think it is a reasonable punishment for the level of disrespect I endured. Thank you in advance.

Regards, Kuchiki Byakuya

'Regards'? Bastard.

Then again, this went to prove Captain Kuchiki really was not an expert judge of character. Mayuri would sooner swallow acid (which he did sometimes whenever he was in the mood for developing a new unnecessarily potent drug) than let somebody boss him around. Maybe Byakuya's wish would have come true if he hadn't worded it like this. He moved his creepy chin-scratching down to his neck and stuck out his tongue, and his eyes darted around in different directions.

Yes, there was only one way to deal with this.

___

Your latest venture was therapy, so you set up office hours and everything.

You were one of the few people from Division Twelve who ever saw the sun more than once a month. Though Mayuri didn't like this 'going outside' thing you tended to do since it prevented him from supervising you, he never sent out someone to track you since that was similar to admitting defeat, and he never went looking for you because you thrived on negative attention. And, really, he had better things to do.

Then there was his method of surveying. When word got out he had set up cameras everywhere, it turned into a discussion about HR violations, since a lot of his subordinates filed complaints about it because he scared them shitless. His ability to monitor them when he wasn't in the immediate vicinity had disconcerted them. The Gotei 13 held a meeting about it, but then it turned in a two-hour debate during which Mayuri insisted that the other Captains were morons for not doing the same as him, and the matter never got settled.

After this, you called him a 'peeping Tom' and Mayuri publically denounced you as a degenerate. But that was beside the point and wasn't even the first time he had done so.

Since no one elected themselves as a subject to your counseling, you decided to satisfy your curiosity by forcing your therapy onto someone. Not that everybody avoided your services because you were stupid. Some people suspected you had so many screws loose because you knew so much you went crazy.

Mostly, the problem was that whatever you had planned was guaranteed to be unpleasant.

Byakuya was a skilled captain, so he considered himself competent enough to know when he's being followed, but this kind of stalking was different. For one, it was not very subtle.

"Hello, Captain Kuchiki," you said while saluting him.

Byakuya didn't answer, instead opting to keep walking.

"Hi," you tried again. "Hello."

He halted. Humoring you never fared well for anyone, but he figured if he spared you a few seconds, you would get bored and leave, so he turned and looked at you with steely eyes. Your smile did not waver.

When Byakuya was in a bad mood, he went outside and brooded while looking at the cherry blossoms. You had noticed that during your daily patrols around the Seireitei grounds. It was a bit auto-fellating, but you weren't here to judge. That wasn't what therapy was about.

You raised your hand and asked, "You and Captain Zaraki haven't been getting along, right?"

"We never get along," he said.

At this, you whipped out a scrapbook and a pen, and scribbled something. "It's been worse. Why's that?"

Levelly, he said, "I don't see how my personal affairs concern you."

"My observations tell me his vast bosom distracts you. That's no good for a captain, so of course I'm concerned." There was mock pity in your tone.

Appalled by what he just heard, Byakuya rose an eyebrow. Like he would ever look at that barbarian's 'bosom,' even if it was, in fact, huge. Maybe willingly poisoning yourself over and over was messing with your head. Apparently you took his silence as a cue to continue because then you said,

"And you've been angsting by the trees more than usual. It points to feelings of betrayal and self-loathing." That was how you interpreted his behavior after you gathered information from some books in the library, at least. Division Twelve didn't have a psychology department, and you were seeking to change that, but Captain Kurotsuchi had told you to get lost, and that it'd be more suitable for Squad Four, and blah blah blah. So now you have turned it into everyone else's problem.

He did not know how you gathered that from his vacant stare at some plants, or even how long you had been at this, but then he remembered the therapy poster you had put up all over the hallways. That was a few months ago.

"It's in your best interest to keep quiet," Byakuya advised. Captain Kurotsuchi also said this to you many times, in less refined language, but what was in your best interest never entertained you, so you pressed the issue.

"You don't need to take out your guilt on Captain Zaraki," you said. "He doesn't understand. It's not helping."

Again, Byakuya did not dignify that with a response, but his stare bore into you harder. Good, so he was listening. It seemed your expertise had rendered him speechless. This could only be a sign for you to keep going,

"Have you considered your celibacy is making you unpleasant?"

"What?"

"Like, your sexual frustration because of your fifty year long dry spell? It's making you irritable."

"What."

"Abarai is having a terrible time, Captain, I can tell."

Byakuya tensed his jaw and reached for his sword, though he didn't know if he could justify this kill in a report. Maybe he should leave the job to Kurotsuchi instead? At least he could pass it off as an accident during an experiment or something. You smiled, and it was unnerving because he couldn't anticipate what other horrible thing you could say.

He figured his best course of action was leaving and you wrote 'DENIAL' in your scrapbook. Then, before he could escape out of earshot range, you asked, "Are you not coping with bisexuality well, Captain Kuchiki?"

He shunpo'd to the other side of the Seireitei. You considered this a job well-done because Byakuya would probably need real therapy after this conversation, and maybe if he demanded for it, someone would consider making a suitable department somewhere.

___

"We need to talk."

You ignored Captain Kurotsuchi and continued typing up the report you needed to do, which provoked him into yanking you by the shoulder.

"I said we need to talk," he ordered.

"Oh, you're so desperate for my attention," you said in a shrill voice which usually made him mad, but this time he brushed it off. You tapped your chin curiously at his unusual behavior and he led the way since apparently he thought he was above providing an explanation.

While you stood in front of him in his laboratory, Mayuri reached for something crumpled on his desk and unfurled it. "I received this," he said, and you leaned closer to squint your eyes and try to read it. You skimmed it and noticed that he had been nice enough to underline 'I would hereby like to request [L/n] [Y/n]'s expulsion.' with red in case you somehow missed it.

A grin split your face and you pretended to be sheepish and wrung your hands together behind your back. "You know, I didn't expect him to be so sensitive about it," you said. "I mean, I know his wife's dead, but it's been fifty years, right?"

Mayuri didn't care about Byakuya's melodrama, and neither did you, since you were being so callous about it. So at least neither of you needed to address that. And your sad attempts at matchmaking a widowed man wasn't something he knew about, so you could shift the focus of the conversation.

"Ya think he's gonna need therapy after all that?"

"Not this again," said Mayuri. "Now that Captain Kuchiki, whose mental health I don't care about, has written me this letter, there's only one logical course of action."

"And that is?" You batted your eyelashes. "You're not letting me go, are you?"

Mayuri massaged his temples. "Could you stop being a pest for five seconds? I know it's hard for you to ignore your innate desire to be the most annoying creature on the planet since you have no sense of self-regulation-"

"See, I read about that in the psychology books. They claim I'm hedonistic."

"-but I'm trying to give you a promotion here."

When he said this, you both examined each other thoroughly for a few seconds. After a long bout of silence, you burst out into laughter and Captain Kurotsuchi ground his teeth together into his usual lunatic smile before he threw away Byakuya's note in the trash bin.

Only you and him would find rewarding a request for expulsion with a promotion funny.

Between making out in various attempts to drug one another, the many foiled assassination plans on both sides, and the brief time you spent as liquid in a labeled jar, you did not expect messing with Captain Kuchiki would be all it took to quell your hundreds of years long feud with Mayuri. Of course, the truce was only temporary since you loved to hate each other. Still, it was... sort of progress.

"Maybe I should piss off Captain Zaraki and make it to nineteenth seat."

Mayuri snarled, "Don't push it, I'm just being generous today." Besides, the more he thought about it, the less likely it was that both Kenpachi and the toddler could write a letter even if they collaborated. Sleep deprivation must have influenced his first imagining of the scenario.

___

Word of your promotion traveled, which made people question if you and Captain Kurotsuchi had 'squashed the beef,' which was jargon the talented hero Kurosaki Ichigo introduced to Soul Society, since he had refused to acknowledge your abilities before this. The rumor was something you and Mayuri strategically spread, so Byakuya would find out because what you had in common (pettiness) usually tore you apart, but this time, it united you.

"It's like a sadomasochistic relationship," said Matsumoto, who found your eternal fighting with your captain hilarious. She loved when you guys argued in public. It was the best drama this job offered, which was also a little sad.

"No. Sadosadistic," Yumichika corrected, which made Matsumoto cheer, since it sounded even more amusing and dysfunctional. Though he had also coined it a few seconds ago, so maybe there was a term that was more applicable. He was also the most adamant in his agenda that the two of you were somehow romantically involved. Ever since the moment during which you gave Mayuri pink eye by grazing his eyeballs with your lashes, and the comment he made about it that traumatized Nemu and Akon, he had been convinced this was the case.

Maybe Nemu and Akon could be exhibits in your argument about opening a psychology department? Yes, splendid. Thank god Yumichika went and ruined their day that one time.

Ikkaku didn't know why he was even listening to this conversation. Perhaps he enjoyed the opportunity to ogle Yumichika and Matsumoto simultaneously, but that didn't require listening. So he tuned them out.

[italoniponic]

May i request hcs of deuce, sebek and jack trying to court their crush who happens to be awkward and very shy when talking to others? (Basically idia but without the otaku-)

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲'𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭

| Notes: Hi, anon! Now, as you can see here, my definition of courting is someone making their crush like them back by understanding them, helping, making themselves useful for something, etc. And that’s solely bc idk how a usual courting would go lmao So… I just wanted to say that. Maybe I’m just reading things my own way, idk. Maybe I need to read more books?  There’s a very similar ask but with Ace, Kalim and Floyd, tho I’m not sure if you’re the same anon (especially bc in that one, it’s more emphasized that the reader avoids people). But in case someone likes this specific reader! But this was really sweet to make, hope you like it! I did bc I always like to write especially for Jack <3 Thanks for the request <3 |

Deuce Spade, Sebek Zigvolt, Jack Howl x g!n awkward and shy reader / headcanons / crush / fluff / use of “you” pronouns

Cherry’s Harvesting event 🍒 Masterlist

Charming But Awkward

Deuce wasn't exactly introverted like you. In fact, he had never been able to put “names” to his own personality. He is open to talk when he should be but shy in other situations. In a way, he understands your feelings a little, like when you can't engage in a conversation and keeps quiet, probably wondering if you said something wrong;

Despite this, as you have always been kind to him and care about what he says, Deuce inevitably ended up falling in love with you. But how would he make you notice him? Show that he was a potential boyfriend as much as an honors student? Deuce spent days trying to think of what to do;

Since this doesn't always prove to work for him, Deuce decides to first do things naturally. He combines this with some advice from Trey, the most introspective kind of person he knows and wouldn't be shy about asking anything. Well, Trey isn't exactly shy but he knows what would help Deuce and you in this case; 

Among other things, Deuce always agrees with what you say to show support and confidence in your speech during conversations. In any doubt he has about a subject, you are the first person he asks;

You end up doing a lot of study sessions at the Ramshackle, which is a little less noisy than Heartslabyul — a place where everyone is relatively social and eccentric, in their own way. Deuce is very fond of accompanying you to your dorm and one of the reasons is because the antique furniture reminds him of his grandmother's house;

Deuce may not be a great comedian, but he likes your smile and knows how to make you laugh when you most need to. It helps a lot in your mood, especially when you're feeling down. Deuce is the first to notice this. He once blurted out that when you don't smile, the world loses its color and that's why he captures it so quickly;

Needless to say, those words generated a long moment of silence between you, Deuce trying to hide his beet red blush face with his hands while babbling gibberish and you looking away, your heart suddenly pounding. You could only think of the natural and subtle way Deuce said that, literally without thinking;

Deuce will always defend you if someone makes fun of you because of your lack of sociability or takes advantage of your shyness to do something. It doesn't make him very proud but, he knows exactly what bullies do to more shy people so a siren always sound on his head when someone makes a weird approach on you;

If you're not feeling well enough to shop, Deuce offers to do it for you and deliver to the Ramshackle. Of course, you know he won't be able to do it all the time but, his care is very touching. Even if he makes multiple calls to make sure he's picking the right things off the list, you know his intentions are good;

Talking more with you, Deuce began to understand more a world of which he never had much contact. He must have been a shy kid at first, until his life started to “shuffle” from pre-adolescence and continue on that path until he won the game. But next to you, he doesn't worry too much about these things and manages to be himself;

At the end of the day, Deuce didn't have to do more than the impossible for you to think of him differently. It may not be entirely but, Deuce understands your difficulties and wants to help you in whatever you need, in addition to showing how much he cares about you. He is very cool without even realizing it. You sigh, but it's a joyful sigh. You are in love after all.

It didn’t need to be very smart to realize that you and Sebek were two really contrasting people. You were extremely shy, talking to other people was a real challenge. Meanwhile, Sebek was imposing and audible — literally — with a strong presence that set him apart from everyone else. But despite these differences, he eventually fell in love with you;

That's because you two are more alike than you think, and you had earned Sebek’s trust by quickly commenting on how Malleus had a fantastic aura — the reason you couldn't talk to him very well, just as strictly necessary. But this recognition about his Young Master made Sebek think about how you were an excellent observer;

Soon after, Sebek was completely fascinated by your stillness and your quiet manner. Your kindness in always being willing to listen to him and take him seriously. Sebek always invited you to watch his workouts and even though it wasn’t a very interesting activity for you, it was kinda cool to watch Sebek in a sword duel with Silver;

Lilia had to pull Sebek's ear for wooing you so “badly” in the beginning. Yes, he needed to train but it wasn’t you being a special spectator in those sessions that would win your heart. He needed to do something more sensitive that could involve both of you. Sebek had no idea what to do — at least, he never had that kind of concern in the Valley of Thorns;

Following his tutor’s instructions who only had experience through several romantic and obviously unreliable books, Sebek sought to try to be kinder to you and understand your difficulties as a shy person. Which he doesn't quite understand because quieter people like you would be very welcomed in the Court of Thorns;

But in any case, Sebek would like to show you respect. You are his beloved one after all, even though he took quite a while to accept. But, therefore, you must be treated well and even if people cannot hear your voice, Sebek will repeat your words and make sure that you are definitely heard;

Sebek sometimes shouts your name in the middle of a conversation and turns to you, smiling excitedly, “Do you have any comments to make on this topic?”. You take your time to advise Sebek how not to try to please you, which he devoutly writes down in a special notebook. Despite Sebek's strange manner, it is visible that he has good intentions and his care captures your heart;

Even though he’s just as socially awkward as you, in his own way, Sebek is much more effective in other activities. He helps you during physical education with some tips and offers to carry you in case you’re tired. If you have a question and are afraid to ask someone, you can pick him up without fear!;

Sebek will always praise you, even in the small things, loud and clear because in his opinion, the world needs to recognize your greatness — and the Young Master’s too, of course, but... maybe yours should be more? The first years ended up calling you the “New Waka-sama” because of this, in which Sebek defended your honor by praising you even more;

Talking to you more and getting to know you better, Sebek remembers other humans he met who were very similar to you. Mr. Zigvolt is, much to his own surprise, the first one that comes to mind. When you smile, grateful for his help with something, Sebek wonders if his father would be happy with something like that too. To make you soften his heart built of principles hard as a rock, you are really an amazing human!;

But it's a side of Sebek that you're happy to get to know and join with your growing admiration for his potent way of putting himself in front of people. Watching Sebek yell at people for bothering you for being a recluse or talking in a lower tone might not really solve anything but, it's pretty funny. The way he is willing to stand by you makes your heart race and you want to become stronger to do the same for him, even if it’s in your silent ways.

Within all proportions, Jack understood very well your personality type and the difficulties you feel most of the time when trying to talk to other people and not get too used to the lively social environment in which you find yourself in. Well, Jack wasn't called a “lone wolf” all the time for nothing;

First of all, the fact that you two met was the fruit of a mere chance — and a lion full of issues. Because, in general, you two are the type of introverts who wouldn’t be able to interact under normal conditions. Jack never approaches people unnecessarily and you would perhaps be intimidated by his tough aura, which would make conversation more difficult;

But you met, became friends, and now Jack realized how madly in love he is with you. He doesn’t know when or how, only that your company does him great good and if it were necessary, he would give his life for you. Jack sometimes doesn’t believe that he is already thinking about these things so soon;

You will notice that, whenever he has the opportunity, Jack will be by your side to help you in whatever it takes. Jack tries to control himself on his answers when you ask about his kindness — or you don't even question anything, he's just used to excusing his actions — because he doesn't want to seem overly rude and push you away. It's a hard habit to control;

While respecting your personal space because that’s something Jack also likes, he will always end up following you or walking next to you in one way or another before he realizes what he is doing. Sometimes you call him to stand beside you to walk together. Jack is a good company and his stature gets people right out of the way without you having to put in a lot of effort to ask them to;

Jack always stays by your side when you get together in a group with others. If he makes any comments, it is usually in your direction and he pays close attention to your reply. He doesn't try to make you a highlight of the conversation but, if you happen to let something slip — quietly or loudly — he'll know and in his quiet way, show that he cares;

It could be said that Jack’s most reserved behavior came from his mother and some of it ended up passing to his younger brother as well. Because of this, he knows how to act normally with you and do things that you would probably enjoy — at least, if it were the other way around, Jack would enjoy it too;

When you don’t feel well enough to go out or do something, you end up staying by the Ramshackle and Jack is the first to support your decision, saying that a “time for yourself” is always good and healthy. His understanding is always welcomed by you. But if you happen to be tired of being alone and want someone calm to talk to, he will come in a minute;

Spending time with Jack is precisely the moment of tranquility you need. You can spend a whole hour in silence and it will still be worth it. In general, you read together or study. To your surprise, Jack gets very close to you. “A lot” in the sense of being more by your side than you would expect coming from him;

But not too close to the point of suffocating you. There is a comfortable closeness and a feeling of security that takes your heart every time you watch him read or do something. Sometimes you notice Jack try to look at you as subtly as he can and then look away, disguising it;

You couldn't help it — in fact, you didn't even want to try not to — to fall in love with Jack back. His way of doing things always puts you at ease and you feel safe to be yourself around him, even if you don't have much confidence in your conversational skills. Still, in conversation or in silence, you would always choose Jack to keep you company.

[57sfinest]

and while we’re on the subject the way i see the kim & jean dynamic is so funny. jean undeniably respects kim and will defer to him. kim goes through with the transfer and jean is thrilled. finally, a normal human being to work here and help us get shit done. meanwhile kim sees jean as “that guy who drove 22km to harass harry in a wig but not to look after him after he was shot” and “that guy who forced me and several other people to witness his 45 minute dirty-laundry-airing breakup with harry” so needless to say they don’t start off on the best foot. no matter how much kim gets to know him afterwards, first impressions matter, so jean really is just That Asshole first and foremost. which makes jean soooo mad because you ask kim his opinions on everyone and he’s like “judit seems capable and normal, we’re cool. trant seems knowledgeable and i’m happy to have a good consultant. harry is objectively strange but i respect the work he does and we get along very well actually, he’s made things interesting. but jean has a long way to go in terms of attitude and professionalism. i expected more from him, given all he had to say about harry.” and jean is like how. how do *i* come out of this as the bad guy. how do *i* have the worse reputation with kitsuragi. like he respects harry raphael ambrosius tequila fucking sunset costeau du bois but not me. got it. allow me to go lay down on an overpass. fuck me running. and jean is so hair pullingly teeth grindingly agonizingly deadset on fixing his reputation in kim’s eyes (mostly out of spite because he CANNOT go down as the worse of the vicquemare/du bois dumpster fire duo) and kim just has to sit him down and be like officer vicquemare. if you don’t stop physically assaulting harry every time he enters the room, i am going to ask that you be assigned to another wing. i understand you have a difficult history but he’s in a delicate situation and you’re not helping. please be professional. and jean is like of course lieutenant kitsuragi i’m sorry, you’re right. and then nothing changes except that jean doubles down on the tryhard attitude to gain some semblance of respect in kim’s eyes.