#need to write smthn with this

[seventh-district]

Midnight Hour

With the warm haze of sleep fading from you, your brow furrows as your right hand presses lightly against his lower abdomen, your thumb sweeping up and down in a small attempt at a comforting motion. You quietly call for his attention, voice still thick with sleep.

“Star? Is everything okay?”

His typically silent breath suddenly hitches, and his head angles down to face you. Now that he’s turned toward the light, you catch the way his eyes shine, and the way the light reflects off of what you quickly realize are tear tracks, running down his cheeks.

You awake in the middle of the night to find your lover in tears.

Pairing: Astarion x Reader

Word Count: 3,139

Content Warnings: [crying (obviously)] [non-specific mentions of Astarion's past trauma] [this fic was written by someone who hasn't actually played the game and that might show in the details/the lack thereof]

Blinking your tired eyes open, you squint at the light of the crackling fire in front of you. Closing them again, you let out a soft sigh as you try to guess at the current time. Given that you woke on your own, you’re assuming it’s likely close to, but not quite, time for you to take over tonight’s watch shift.

Your group has fallen into a routine where you pair off into teams of two, and a different team keeps watch each night. Tonight’s turn belongs to you and Astarion, and he’s taken the first half of the shift as usual. You usually, ironically, sleep your best on the nights that he keeps watch, in spite of only getting half the amount of sleep as you do on the nights another team has the job.

You suppose you can credit the fact that, at the end of the day, Astarion is a creature of the night. Something about knowing he has the upper hand when it comes to any unwanted nighttime visitors your group may encounter is… reassuring. To you, as well as to the others in the group, loathe as some of them may be to admit it. That is, once they all felt confident in his promises to not make a surprise midnight snack of them, at least.

Tonight is a bit of an exception, though, and you’re not quite sure what woke you early this time. You typically sleep soundly until he gently coaxes you awake, nails combing through your hair, voice soft and apologetic in your ear. He’s always somewhat reluctant to wake you, but he does so nonetheless, having learned his lesson after the first time he made the executive decision to let you sleep the whole night through. His arguments of “You really looked like you could use the rest.” and “What’s one sleepless night? I can sleep when I’m dead.” didn’t hold much water in the face of the way he dragged ass through the entire next day.

In “the spirit of fairness” and “proving that he can stick to an agreement,” he never tried to take the whole shift by himself again. It definitely didn’t have anything to do with how guilty he felt when he heard the disappointment in your tone when you awoke that first morning and discovered he hadn’t stuck to the plan. Definitely.

Laying there in the quiet, you try and fail to pinpoint what feels different about tonight. You don’t hear any strange noises, nothing feels unusual, and blinking your eyes open again you raise your head a bit to look around the fire. The rest of the group are circled around the other sides of the heat source, sleeping soundly. You figure that you’re probably just getting used to this routine by now, and your body simply woke up around your usual shift change time on its own.

Still, that doesn’t explain the vague, unplaceable feeling that something is just… off.

You let out a sigh that turns into a yawn as you stretch and roll away from the fire onto your back. Letting your head roll further to the left, your eyes land on the familiar sight of your lover’s back as he sits in his usual position beside you, diligently watching your six.

He’s taken to placing his bedroll right next to yours, insisting that you lie between the fire and himself. You couldn’t really argue with his point that he can’t feel the cold anyways, so there’s no need for him to be the one next to the fire. Nor could you argue with the benefits of having him as a line of defense between you and whatever lurks beyond the reach of the firelight.

The feeling of security and protection that he provides you with is still relatively foreign to you, and a soft smile blooms on your face at the warm feeling it brings. Your smile then falls a bit as you remember the silent question you ask yourself on the regular, of whether or not you provide him with the same.

You roll the rest of the way to your left, and shuffle further toward him, closing what remains of the small gap he’d placed between the two of you. Lying halfway on your bedroll and halfway on his, you curl your body around his seated form, bringing your right arm up and gently placing a hand on the right side of his waist. He flinches slightly, and if this were earlier on in your relationship, you’d retract your hand. He’s long since informed you though that his reaction to unexpected touch is simply involuntary, and as long as it’s you, you’ve no need to pull away.

You recall the quiet, restrained desperation in his voice when he first explained it to you, all but begging you not to pull away. He can’t control the way his body reacts to touch, given that before you, he couldn’t recall the last time being touched meant anything other than pain. In spite of that though, he wants it. He wants you. That’s obvious in the way that he, without fail, immediately relaxes under your gentle touch once his mind and body process that it’s coming from you. The way he’s come to not only relax, but to lean into it. Lean into you.

You’d never push past his boundaries, never in a million years, but he’s made it quite clear after about a thousand of your quiet requests for consent at every minor touch, that he’s entirely welcoming of your non-sexual physical affections. Getting the man to verbally admit that he actually enjoys cuddling with you, without the truth being concealed beneath a heavy layer of playful banter and practiced, honeyed words didn’t come easy, but he came around to it in his own time.

So, you don’t pull back, instead following through with the motion and slowly snaking your arm around his waist. You press your front against his lower back and curl around to rest your left cheek atop his left thigh. You can’t help but notice that he doesn’t relax into you in the way he usually does, and your head turns to the right a bit, struggling to get a half-decent look at his face as you’re both turned away from the fire light.

He remains tense, still, and unresponsive to your movements, gaze seemingly locked dead ahead of him, staring out into the dark forest.

With the warm haze of sleep fading from you, your brow furrows as your right hand presses lightly against his lower abdomen, your thumb sweeping up and down in a small attempt at a comforting motion. You quietly call for his attention, voice still thick with sleep.

“Star? Is everything okay?”

His typically silent breath suddenly hitches, and his head angles down to face you. Now that he’s turned toward the light, you catch the way his eyes shine, and the way the light reflects off of what you quickly realize are tear tracks, running down his cheeks. He’s actively crying, tears dripping from his chin, and now with his head tilted down at you they take a different path, running down to converge and fall from the tip of his nose.

You nearly bolt upright in your shock, quickly unwrapping yourself from him and clambering around on all fours until you’re sat down in front of him, your hands gripping tightly to your upper thighs in worry. His wide-eyed gaze followed your every movement, and even now that you’re sat still in front of him, his eyes still dart around, frantically scanning you, for what, you don’t know.

“What- what’s going on?”

You keep your voice as quiet as you reasonably can in spite of your shock and concern, not eager to wake your companions and have everyone witness… whatever this is.

He doesn’t respond, looking just about as lost as you feel, shaking his head in silence as more tears fall. It’s one hell of a sight, and it suddenly hits you that this is the first time you’ve ever seen him cry.

Unsure of what to do and what even caused this, you resist the urge to wrap him in a hug, not wanting to overstep in this unfamiliar territory. Instead, you glance back over your shoulder and once again see and hear nothing of note before trying another question.

“Is there a threat? Did you see something that scared you, honey?”

He takes a long moment to answer, seeming unsure, before eventually settling on another shake of his head. His lack of confidence in his answer isn’t the most reassuring thing at the moment, but given that you aren’t detecting any danger either, you decide to believe that he really didn’t see any threat. At least, not here. Not right now, in the present moment, in front of him. He seems about halfway here and halfway gone, and if your growing suspicions are correct, he’s probably been sat here lost in the dark corners of his mind for a while now, given the state he’s in.

You catch movement to Astarion’s right side and watch as Karlach raises up from her prior position sprawled out face-down on her bedroll, propping herself up with her forearms beneath her. Her expression of concern is too aware and her eyes are too awake for her to have just now woken up, and you quickly gather that she’s probably been awake and laying there long enough to have heard your questions and Astarion’s lack of any verbal response. She doesn’t say anything though, and doesn’t move, just letting the situation unfold and keeping a watchful eye on the darkness behind you.

Relaxing slightly at the knowledge that someone else is awake and helping to keep watch now, your focus shifts back to Astarion, who’s gaze has moved to his lap, tears still falling fast. It’s almost unsettling, the way he cries. There’s no sound, no movement, his breathing is hardly even affected, nothing more than the occasional shaky breath to give away any sign of struggle at all. You don’t have to guess why it’s like this, given what he’s told you about his past. You’re sadly certain that he learned to cry like this ages ago. Silent and still, sat alone in the dark so no one would notice.

You don’t want to think about the sorts of punishments he’s endured as a result of showing such pain and emotion, but your mind pulls from what experiences he’s shared and offers up a few anyways, making you begin to feel sick.

Leaning down and trying to catch his gaze, you ask another question.

“Astarion, are you with me right now?”

He blinks, more tears spill, and his lips finally part as he responds to you with a strained whisper.

“I’m trying to be…”

You smile in spite of your current emotions and the general mood of the situation, doing your best to be something positive, something gentle, something safe for him to focus on.

“There you are…”

You say it to yourself as much as to him, relieved to finally hear his voice, as laced with pain as it sounds. You hold out your hand near where his lie balled into fists in his lap, offering him contact without forcing it on him.

“I want you to keep trying, okay? Do your best to come back into the present with me. You can take my hand, if you’d like?”

He stares down at your offered hand for a long moment before shakily unballing one of his fists. He hesitates, fingers trembling, before reaching out and placing his hand in yours. His skin is even colder than usual and slightly damp to the touch, and you couldn’t be less put off, or give less of a fuck about the messy state of him right now, or ever, if you’re being honest. You just want to help him, however you can.

You curl your warm fingers around his palm, wanting to pull him into a hug so badly but restraining yourself, letting him call the shots.

“You’re okay now, Star. You’re safe right now, here with me. We’re safe.”

He’s quiet for another long moment as he shuts his eyes tight, taking in your words. His other fist unfurls, and his body trembles almost imperceptibly.

“I… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

Your heart breaks.

“Honey, you have nothing to apologize for. Nothing at all, I promise you.”

He shakes his head in disagreement, his voice an insistent whisper.

“I shouldn’t be doing this.”

Your shoulders drop from where they’d been tensely held up, body slumping with a silent sigh as you watch him still try to hold this wall up between the two of you. You’d made it past a number of his walls already, but this one… this one you’ve yet to be granted access behind.

“It’s okay to cry, you know?”

Another shake of his head, this time with far more force behind it, almost vehement.

“No.”

You soften your voice, insisting.

“Yes. It is. You can cry now, Astarion. No one’s gonna hurt you. No one’s gonna judge you. I swear on my life, that’s the truth.”

His breaths become more labored, uneven and shaking.

“You aren’t his anymore. The old rules don’t apply. You can let it out, now. No one, and I mean no one, is going to punish you for it.”

His eyes pinch closed and his head shakes hard side to side, like he’s fighting his own mind, and his hand opens and closes like it wants to grab onto something. He then moves, wrapping his free hand around your arm and suddenly you’re being pulled toward him, desperately, insistently.

You follow the motion as he continues to tug at you, first leaning forward and propping yourself up with your other hand on the ground as he continues to pull you closer. You quickly gather what he wants as he lets go of your hand in favor of latching onto your other arm, pulling you upward, choking back tears all the while.

You raise up on your knees and his hands move once again to hook beneath your arms as you allow yourself to be pulled up onto his lap with physical strength you keep forgetting he possesses. Hooking your legs around his waist, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him into you. His arms wrap tightly around your waist and he buries his face into the fabric of your shirt at the collar, muffling the soft sound of his crying which has now turned to full-blown sobs.

He’s still shockingly quiet in spite of it all, and you imagine it’s a mixture of being unable to let go of what’s ingrained into him, and not wanting to alert the entire camp to his current breakdown.

Your thumbs stroke up and down in place on his back, not wanting to let go of your hold on him but still wanting to give him some sort of comforting motion to focus on. Besides, you figure petting across the entire expanse of his scarred back might do the opposite of calming him down, so you refrain and keep your arms wrapped firmly around him. Turning your head down toward his, you whisper to him in between soft kisses to his temple.

“That’s it, love. Let it out.”

“You’re safe now, Astarion, I swear.”

“There’s nothing wrong with this.”

“I’m so proud of you.”

“You have every right to cry. No one ever should’ve taken that away from you.”

He grips you even tighter as you shower him with painfully unfamiliar affection and acceptance, comfort unlike anything he’s ever felt before in his horribly long life. His forehead presses against your right shoulder as his crying slows, trying to ground himself and catch his breath. You make a point of holding him securely against you, breathing slow and deep to give him an example to follow.

You catch movement in your periphery and glance over at Karlach as she quietly sits up and makes a series of silent lip movements and hand gestures that you don’t entirely grasp. You work them out to mean that she’s gonna take over watch for the rest of the night, and you can rest with Astarion. You send her a grateful look and mouth a “thank you,” to which she waves you off with what you think you read as a silent “don’t mention it” on her lips.

After a short while spent focused on slowing down his breath and bringing him fully out of his memories and back here with you, you whisper quiet words in his ear.

“Your work is done, Astarion. You can rest now.”

You mean it in both possible interpretations of the words, and he seems to understand that, his body finally relaxing against yours for the first time tonight.

“You wanna lie down with me, love?”

He seems like he almost nods, but stops himself, whispering back in an exhausted voice, scratchy and thick from crying.

“Someone has to keep watch.”

You hesitate to inform him that Karlach has already taken over that role for tonight, sure that he’d get no sleep at all if he knew she’d witnessed this. You know you’re gonna be awake watching over him for the rest of the night anyways, so instead, you offer a compromise.

“I can hold you and keep watch at the same time, love. Just… let me sit and you can lay against me.”

He gives the suggestion a moment of thought before nodding his head, reluctantly loosening his hold on you. You maneuver the both of you carefully so as to avoid allowing his tired eyes to catch sight of your obviously awake companion sitting behind him.

It isn’t much of a task considering his eyes are halfway closed already, his only remaining focus locked on you. You settle down at the head of his bedroll, guiding him to lie down and bringing his head to rest in the center of your lap.

Your hands take turns gently combing fingers through his white curls, and you feel his tense shoulders begin to relax at the feeling. You bring a thumb down and gently stroke over the lines creasing his brow, quietly encouraging him to release the tension he likely doesn’t realize he’s holding. You watch him pull in a deep, albeit still slightly unsteady breath, and you can practically feel the relief that washes over him when he exhales.

Words aren’t necessary between the two of you at this point, not in this moment, but you offer him a few anyways, hoping they’ll resonate in his tired mind as he slips into sleep.

“You’re safe here, Star. Rest easy.”

A/N: Like I said in the CWs, I haven't played the game for myself (yet!) so I only know what I've seen in the hours of (mostly Astarion-focused) scenes I've watched on YT. As a result, this might have read a bit funny if I've gotten certain details wrong. For instance- I have no idea how resting at the camp actually goes, whether or not someone keeps watch all night, etc. Also I'm not sure if Astarion even needs to actually sleep or if he meditates/falls into a trance and just calls it sleep, but for the sake of simplicity, (and me being clueless,) when I say he falls into sleep just assume he's doing whatever he'd normally do to rest. On a different note- this little fic was inspired by a combination of two things. The lovely art and additional commentary on this post, by @velnna , and also by me listening to Midnight Hour by Sierra Eagleson on loop for like, an hour, and daydreaming up this specific scene before proceeding to write it out. It is a beautiful song that is now the title and theme-song for this fic, and I encourage you to go give it a listen if you haven't heard it already. Header Image Source: x

[monocaelia]

in a good way.

- you fear the gods will take him away from you, that they finally want him to return home to the heavens above, and you pray that day is not today ; aka, you're scared he won't come home again and he assures you he'll always be with you. feat. gojo satoru & gn!reader genre : fluff and comfort w.c. : 1.5k note : rough week for gojo stans; smthn short and absolutely self-indulgent because i love my baby boy to bits and need him to know that i love him.

"i love you."

usually, those words would fill gojo with delight hearing them from your lips. pure affection isn't something that you often share out of the blue; usually, the way you show your love for him is through lighthearted bickering and your fingers pinching his cheeks when he tells you something dumb.

your relationship is filled with blithe teasing and playful touches. there's not a moment where you guys are home together and gojo's arms are not wrapped snuggly around your form despite the heat or your complaints that he smells. it's even worse when he's being clingy because he misses you, which then causes the onslaught of unwarranted kisses to be showered over your face and your cries of distress to be ignored as he pulls you down onto the bed to snuggle and make up for lost time.

his love language shared with you is laughter, and more intimate displays of affection are reserved for when there's something more serious at hand.

and it's not like you've never told him you love him before; you've told him plenty of times. though, oftentimes it's sprinkled in with sarcastic banter when he's being annoying to you.

but you always genuinely tell him that you love him when the time calls for it, like the time he was in fear of losing you to the hands of a curse or the times he felt he was truly alone to endure the responsibilities shoved to him by the higher ups.

your loving words always bring the strongest sorcerer a sense of comfort, grounding him before he spirals into his own thoughts or a moral crisis that almost sends his world spinning out of control.

your soft voice consoling him, gentle hands holding him, and your loving lips pressing as many kisses as he needs is enough to chase the darkness clouding his judgement away and bring back the light guiding him down the right path he has always been treading on.

so when you tell him you love him this time, the timbre of your voice small and vulnerable compared to the excitement or playful annoyance he's used to whenever he comes home, his heart skips a beat and he knows something is severely wrong.

the soft glow of the lamp beside your shared bed casts your body in a warmth that does nothing in comforting you. you look so alone sitting by the bedside like that, and gojo's chest lurches at the familiar sight he never wants to see in a loved one again.

no one should be dealing with their thoughts alone.

with quiet steps, almost as if not to startle you, the tall sorcerer makes his way towards your lone form.

you don't tilt your head to look at him as he approaches you.

large hands reach towards you, your jaw nestled gently in his palms as he tilts your face toward him. crystalline eyes examine your expression, the way your brows furrow and your eyes refuse to meet his gaze makes gojo's heart ache knowing something was haunting your mind.

"penny for your thoughts?" your lover asks. his thumb softly grazes your upper cheek and he can feel his chest swell with both love and worry when your eyes meet his. they're wet, and your eyes are so clearly swollen and he curses at the higher ups for sending him off to work when you so desperately needed someone by your side. "what brought this on, baby?"

you take a breath, shaky and unsure. your shoulders shrug as you struggle to find the words to speak.

"i just-" the words are caught on your throat, your voice cracking as you struggle not to tear up once more. but any attempts at trying to calm yourself are futile as your chest burns and the tears begin to fall. your eyes sting, your body instinctively pulling away as your hands try to wipe your face and hide such a sight from your lover.

he had just come home from a taxing day of curse exorcising; you shouldn't burden him about your worries.

but gojo's hands find yours again. he covers one hand with his while his other gently holds your jaw. your eyes flit up to meet his, familiar blue eyes that you know and love so much bringing a sense of comfort to you despite the thoughts gnawing at your mind. he's obviously worried for your sake, and you can't help but feel even worse knowing that he must be tired and now has to deal with you.

and yet, even as you know this, the words begin to trickle out of your lips no matter how hard you try to stop them.

"there will be a day where you won't come home, won't there?" you ask, voice so fragile as you stare into the eyes that hold the universe inside them. "i know what entails being a sorcerer, and i know every possibility could happen to you. i know that you're near invincible and that nothing can harm you even if you gave them a chance to.

but you're still human, satoru."

your lover does not answer you for a moment as he comprehends what has been plaguing your thoughts this entire time. his lips, pink and soft as ever, part before closing.

and then he smiles, his usual smile that lets you know that he's about to say something dumb.

"and here i thought you were planning on breaking up with me or something," gojo says, laughing softly as you look at him with complete disbelief. he's joking right now? while you're baring your heart to him?

you want to hit him, truly you do, but you don't have the heart to when your white haired lover leans down. his soft lips press against your skin, brushing away the crystal tears that have fallen from your eyes.

he has always loved them, you remember. every time you mentioned how annoying it was that he was so beautiful with those azure eyes of his he would grab your face to shower kisses on until you raised your white flag and accepted that you were beautiful as well.

he loved your eyes, one filled with hope and humanity despite the cruelty shoved onto your shoulders by the higher ups. you both have bore the weight given to you at such a young age because of the way jujutsu society is, and yet your eyes still shine with the hope of reforming it for the sake of the future sorcerers and the empathy that comes with being human.

you're so similar to him, and yet so different that it makes gojo love you even more than he already does in that large heart of his.

the humanity in yours compared to the god-like burden in his.

he wishes so dearly that you do not ever have to witness another tragedy fall upon you and that the light that shines in your eyes transcends mortality and guides the future of jujutsu sorcerers through the night sky as you have done with him.

"baby, do you remember what i'm known as?" gojo asks, his voice gentle as he pulls his face away to meet your gaze once more. he's smiling still, but this time it's less playful and more tender and warm.

"the strongest," you respond.

"that's right, and that means i will always win, even against someone like the king of curses."

gojo presses a few more kisses on your cheeks and your forehead before he leans down fully. his lips find yours in a sweet kiss, one that has your heart melting and the doubts and fear weighing your thoughts dissipating into thin air. he kisses you like you hold his heart in the palm of your hand and any wrong movements would break you and his heart alongside it.

he pulls away from the kiss, soft lips pressing once more on the tip of your nose before his smile comes into your view.

"and that means no curse will ever take me away from you, promise."

and the sting of tears burning your eyes comes once more as he says those words to you. you know it would be difficult to hold that promise because of your jobs as sorcerers, but you can't help but hold onto that shred of hope that he will stay with you until you're both married and old.

you're crying again, in a good way, a wave of brief relief washing over your entire form. your lover softly calls your name as his lips find yours again in hopes of erasing any more final doubts from your head as the two of you share the warmth and safety that comes with being in each others' arms.

if there was a higher being in control of your lives and the paths you walk on, you pray that they keep gojo on the path that keeps him beside you for as long as you both live.

[gothsuguru]

doing the heavy lifting in a convo can be so tiring omfg

[wish-i-were-heather]

i want to write a fic but i have no idea what to write pls i beg someone help 😔

[zero-aves]

Lil drawing of Vikingpilot cause I need to feed the hyperfixation,,,,,, ¤3

[feeshfries]

i fw eddsworld

haha.. might have yaoi to post...maybe....

[cherrirui-official]

Me (eldritch forest creature) rizzing you (mud cowboy) up with my forest dweller swag (it's working)

Inspo

[autistic-katara]

u ever think of a ship u like one-sidedly and wonder why tf u didn’t project onto them when suffering from a bad one sided crush

[f10werfae]

Ok imagine this:

Lumberjack!Henry makes sure baby bun is always at her happiest, he secretly checks her phone to make sure she’s not doing anything dodgy (planning to leave him) After all she’s been extremely clingy the past few days, so clingy that Henry thought his woman may as well climb under his skin and live in him. Now don’t get me wrong baby bun is a clingy baby, but she likes her space but now all of a sudden she doesn’t?

While on her phone Henry decides to go to a little red app icon that seems to be new called ‘reddit’ There he sees all the things she’s been reading, the majority being stories of men cheating on their wives as if it’s the norm, and suddenly it’s clicked. Baby bun thinks if she doesn’t hold onto her grumpy lumberjack, he’ll leave her.

“Sugar butt c’mere” Henry crooned with the nod of a head, and in 3 seconds his pretty wife was sat perched on his knee like a kitten, rubbing and nuzzling her face against his neck, “Care to explain this?” He whispered judging her to look at the phone in his hands, displaying the most recent post she had viewed, “My Husband left me for my best friend, I only found out cause she was pregnant, with his baby”

“Why are you reading inappropriate things like this sugar? You’re too baby n’ pretty for stupid things like this, okay? You know I am not leavin you so long as I am here on this Earth, n’ even when i’m a ghost or some shit i’ll follow you about like a mad man, and when ya join me we’ll have ghost babies n’ whatever the fuck it is. Ey’ why are ya laughin’”

Henry frowned seeing his bun start to laugh, her cheeks blown up from trying to hold it in so long, “I-I get it old man, I get it, b-but don’t haunt me, I dont like ghosts… Why d-don’t you come back a-as a cat or somethin?”

[quaalussy]

figured out that a large part of me not working on my senior thesis project is being intimidated by the blank google doc so now i write it on scrap paper at work and during class and type it up whenever i get back to my computer

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[myymi]

fuck yeah, that fox and hedgehog are gonna be so sad

[i3utterflyeffect]

Random idea, Sitck!Alan with a halo, but it's this thing

[Ibis paint color wheel]

OUBGHH...... YOUR MIND IS HUGE

[nikidykeachu]

CHAT HELP!!

What r these called in english???????

[tojisun]

im so unwell

[yanverse]

hehe. also enjoy this! a legend of baby names the yans would wanna give their kids if they have them. for funsies <3