#need to vacuum need to disinfect but fucking carpet. fucking carpet!!!!!!

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

this whole world is rotten (i hate carpeted floors)

[personaimage]

A mothers ignorance

{Jason Todd x Reader}

CW: Toxic parent, toxic mother, injury via glass, anger, blood

Calling you angry would be an understatement, all you wanted tonight was to be left the fuck alone. Though instead of a relaxing night spent with Jason, your mother decided to text you.

How fucking fantastic. You still remember when she gaslit you during an anxiety attack, and then proceeded to try and manipulate you and guilt trip you. And after that, tried to make the entire situation about herself.

Long story short? She’s not the greatest person. She walked out of that door willingly, and you locked it behind her.

You pace back and forth in your living room, the carpet irritating your bare feet slightly. You could feel your nails dig into your palms as you thought of her responses and her patronizing tone. Your body quivers with emotion, your usually chill aura becoming sour and dark.

Your phone buzzes from its place at the edge of a nearby end table, and you are immediately met with what could be considered a small novel, from your so called mother, about how “maybe I’ll forgive you for what you said to me”

What you said to her? Really? So she’s just going to forget about how she called you a N*zi after you told her not to be racist? Seriously? The fucking nerve.

Your blood boils at this paragraph, your body moves seemingly without your command, quickly grabbing a nearby vase and chucking is as hard as possible at a wall. Chunks of glass fly everywhere, entangling itself in the carpet below, becoming scattered on the nearby couch, and embedding itself into your flesh.

You quickly realize what you’ve done, blood dripping onto the already dirtied brown carpet. Just as you make a move to start cleaning the mess, the familiar sound the lock on the front door echoed throughout your apartment.

Fuck, Jason’s home.

The door quickly opens, Jason walking into the kitchen with a bag of snacks and random foods he found at the local convenience store. He hasn’t seen the living room yet, you panic and drop to your knees, rushing to clean the glass shards.

The small process was messy however, quickly injuring your knees and your hands causing you to panic further. Your attempts at cleaning before he saw the living room were futile however. he quickly realized something was wrong when you didn’t come to the kitchen to inquire about what he had gotten.

He notices you first and your now cracked phone second. You aren’t quite sure when that happened. He moves quickly and fluidly, picking you up from your place on the floor. He makes a mental note to deal with the glass later, and to probably get a new vacuum after this.

He takes you to the bathroom to st you on the edge of the pristine tub. You think it may be one of the only spotless things in the entirety of the cheap apartment. No words have been spoken quite yet, the only sound filling the room right now is Jason humming. It’s of no specific songs, just an attempt at calming you while he disinfects your wounds.

The moment the disinfectant hits the cuts you hiss, however the pain is quickly forgotten, replaced by memories and thoughts of your mother. To say you zoned out quickly would be an understatement.

Jason rips you from your thoughts,

“Can i ask what happened beautiful?” His voice is quite and calm yet inquiring. You have to find the words before speaking.

“She texted me again, she needs to leave me alone” your voice is barely above a whisper. Your hands once again closing into a fist, you an faintly feel your nails digging into your palms once again.

Jason wastes no time reaching out to hold your hand, he knows who “she” is, he knows what your mother has done to you. He isn’t always great with words, so instead,  you two sit in a strangely comforting silence.

He waits until your hands stop shaking, you didn’t even realize you were shaking until now, before speaking.

“Want to watch a show to try to get it off your mind?” He inquires, he may not be great when it comes to comforting somebody, but he try’s. You nod gently, quickly, he helps you up and softly brings you to your shard bedroom.

He claims to have something to do quickly,

“Pick a show yeah? I’ll grab some snacks for us, okay doll?” He says while handing you the remote.

Sighing he strides into the living room once more, he wont let his anger directed at your mother be released, not quite yet. His main goal was to first, pick up the glass and then second, bring you sour patch kids and various other snacks.

He worked quickly with the glass, dedicating more than a few minutes to makes sure that it was all out of the carpet and that none had gotten stuck in or under the couch. Returning to his earlier mental note of getting a new vacuum.

While finishing up he spots your now cracked phone on the floor, quickly picking it up, he’s me with your mothers texts. He doesn’t bother reading them, its not his place too and he knows that. He knows you’ll show him when your ready.

Instead he quickly silences all notifications from her, knowing you’ll block her yourself later. He quickly pockets the device, grabbing the snacks he returns to you.

The intro to “Rick and Morty” plays throughout the room. You seemed content humming the theme song, he smiles and sets the snacks on the bed. His mission forgotten, his only goal now was to cuddle you. Quickly crawling into bed, the both of you situate yourself in a position whee you can cuddle and snack at the same time.

An episode goes by before you say anything,

“I’m sorry, I acted before i could think” you apologize quickly, guilt filling you. He quickly jumps to respond,

“Baby, its okay, ive done the same thing how many times?” You smile slightly, hes done this exact thing a total of six times in the past. He realizes that he didn’t get a verbal response,

“I love you doll, this situation isn’t going to change that, and neither is your so called mom you hear? Your stuck with me for life” he says, you respond quickly, “you say that like being stuck with you is a bad thing my love” you pause, studying his features for a quick moment, “i love you too Jason Todd”

He smiles at the response and leans in to kiss you gently, this night may have started horribly, but Jason was determined to make it end well.

——————

Thank you for reading my first post on tumblr! I apologize if this is a little rusty,  I haven’t written anything in a few months :)

[saccharii]

How to Win Back Your (Villain) Ex Boyfriend

A guide by Hawks

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Summary:  Arresting Dabi and putting him in prison has put quite a big of strain on his and Hawks’ relationship, but Hawks is determined to work through it.

AO3 Link

If you liked this fic, please consider buying me a coffee.

“Hey,” Hawks says and sits down at the table that Dabi — no, not Dabi; his real name is Touya, Todoroki Touya, and hadn’t that been a ride? — is handcuffed to. “It’s been a long time, huh?”

Dabi (Touya?) glares at him flatly, his head propped up on his hand. His orange prison jumpsuit clashes with his purple scars and now red hair. His hollow cheeks and pale skin serve to make him look more sickly than usual.

That’s fair. Hawks probably wouldn’t be very friendly towards the guy that arrested him either.

“So... what have you been up to?”

Dabi’s expression doesn’t change. Hawks winces. God, why is he so awkward? What has he been up to? Prison. Prison is what he’s been up to.

In front of a camera Hawks is as smooth as silk, but sit him down across from his (ex?) boyfriend that he’d arrested and all of a sudden everything that comes out of his mouth is pure idiocy.

“I’ve been good. Doing hero stuff,” he forges on, bravely or stupidly, he doesn’t know. “Arresting bad guys, posing for pictures, the usual.”

Dabi’s glare sharpens.

“I’ll cut to the chase. Are we still dating?”

“No.”

“Cool, cool. Totally understandable. Do you want to get back together?”

“No.”

Hawks clasps his hands in front of his face and braces his elbows on the table, giving his best puppy dog eyes.

“C’mon, please?”

“No.”

“How about friends with benefits? They have conjugal visits at this prison. I checked.”

He wants more than friends with benefits, but it’s a start. He can work from there. That’s how it happened the first time, after all.

Ex boyfriends to friends with benefits, back to boyfriends, then in a few years when Dabi’s out on parole: Boom. Marriage. Maybe they can buy a house with an actual, walled off yard. It’ll be expensive as hell in this area, but between Hawks’ salary and Dabi’s trust fund they can pull it off. Married with a dog, not a cat. Cats always try to attack Hawks’ wings.

His plan is foolproof. This sort of thing happens all the time; he’s seen it on those rom-coms that Rumi hates but agrees to watch with him anyway because he’s her only friend.

Dabi’s mouth drops open slightly, and he furrows his eyebrows. “Hawks, what the fuck.”

“That’s the idea. Us the fuck.”

Haha. Why did he say that? ‘Us the fuck’? That doesn’t even make sense.

“Do you proposition every villain you arrest?”

“Only the hot ones — both literally and figuratively.” Hawks winks and shoots finger guns.

Finger guns. Why. Why did he do that? Holy fuck, he has to get out of here before he humiliates himself further. Lesson learned. Next time he’ll practice what he’s going to say in front of the mirror.

Dabi says nothing, presumably stunned into silence by Hawks’ finger guns. (Why finger guns? Why is he like this?)

“Anyway,” Hawks says quickly. “I gotta get going. Want me to bring some of that strawberry shortcake you like so much next time?”

Dabi mouths the words ‘next time’ with an incredulous look on his face.

“What the fuck, Hawks? You fucking tricked me and arrested me. Now you’re here asking me out and offering me cake? Why do you think I even want you here?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Hawks raps his knuckles on the table and stands up. “I’ll bring some cards next time, too.”

He signals the guard who escorts him stiffly from the room. As they pass through the heavily armored door he gives Hawks some serious side-eye before he realizes Hawks saw him and looks away.

Oh yeah. He just witnessed the whole ‘begging his felon ex boyfriend to take him back’ debacle. Complete with finger guns. (That’s something that’s going to haunt him for the rest of his life, isn’t it? He’ll be eighty and lying in bed and it’ll pop into his head. He won’t be able to remember what day it is but he’ll remember the goddamn finger gun incident from when he was twenty three.)

“So, uh, I don’t suppose I could pay you not to ever tell anyone about that?”

“We are bound with a strict confidentiality clause,” the guard says, staring straight ahead, determinedly looking anywhere but at Hawks. “Nothing you do or say here will be released to the public.”

Hawks nods. “Gotcha.”

Confidentiality clauses don’t do much from Hawks’ experience. Sure, the guard won’t run to the presses or blab on his blog, but once he gets home there is no doubt that he’ll immediately tell his spouse or call up his best friend or someone, and who knows who’ll find out after that. Before you know it one of Hawks’ sidekicks will pull him aside and ask him if it’s true that he shot finger guns.

Hawks claps his hand on the guard’s shoulder. “Good to know.” He looks at the guard’s name tag. “Officer Naya. I’m trusting you.”

Lay the guilt on thick enough and maybe he won’t tell anyone.

“Right, right,” Hawks mutters. He grips the edge of the sink until his knuckles turn white. “I can do this.”

Dried toothpaste flakes under his hands. The sink hasn’t been cleaned since Dabi last scrubbed it months ago, before Hawks arrested him. Hawks’ lackadaisical attitude towards wiping down counters drove Dabi nuts. Who knew someone who looks so much like an unwashed hobo would be such a clean freak?

Yet every night Dabi would put on thick rubber gloves, wipe down the bathroom, wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, pick up the living room and bedroom, and vacuum the carpets, complaining the whole time.

Hawks was shocked by how domestic Dabi is, nothing like the twenty something disaster he expected him to be. (Well, he was a twenty something human disaster, just not when it came to chores.) Hell, Dabi had even packed Hawks’ (very delicious) lunch everyday. Damn, he misses that. KFC has nothing on Dabi’s homemade chicken karaage.

It probably has something to do with his scars. Dirty sheets and open wounds do not go well together. Every day Dabi disinfected the entire apartment, and every night he doused himself with antiseptic and bandaged along his seams with sterile gauze. Hawks hopes they’re taking good care of his scars in prison.

He takes a deep breath, holds it for four seconds, then breathes out to quell the anxiety twisting in his gut. It doesn’t work. He’s such a disaster without Dabi here. He was a disaster with Dabi here too, but he was a disaster with a clean apartment and home cooked food.

He slicks his hair back with water. He can do this. Hero monthly voted him the hottest single hero in the country; he can seduce his ex boyfriend back.

(Dabi had grinned and waved the magazine in his face, then proceeded to prove just how single Hawks wasn’t.)

He can do this. He runs his fingers through his hair one more time. “Hey,” he says to the mirror in his most seductive voice.

He can’t do this.

“Goddamnit, why am I so bad at this?”

He slaps his cheeks and stares at himself in the mirror.

“Let’s try this again.” He smiles his best TV smile. “Hey Dabi,” he says. “I just want to talk more about what we discussed last week. You know, things didn’t end well between us. Honestly they ended terribly, so, uh, I want to fix that. I think we had something good going on, before I arrested you and you set yourself on fire trying to get away.”

Shit. This isn’t Hawks. He isn’t the planning type. He’s more of the ‘winging it’ type. (Heh. Winging it. That’s a good one.) Alright. One more time.

“Hey! I’m back. I, um, brought you flowers.” Hawks grabs a toothbrush from the holder and mimes giving it to the mirror. “I don’t know if you like flowers, since I’ve never given you flowers. I’ve never given anyone flowers.

“I know that things ended badly between us, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before. So I was thinking, maybe, we could try again? God this is so stupid it’s never going to work.”

Hawks rubs his face, almost accidentally stabbing himself in the eye with the toothbrush. Okay, maybe he should start small. He said he was going to bring cake next time, so he’ll start with that.

“I brought that cake you like so much, just like I promised.”

Hawks groans. He has no idea what to say. Looks like he’ll be an awkward mess, but  he’ll be an awkward mess with flowers and cake.

At least his makeup is on point. You can’t even tell he has bags under his eyes and a stress pimple coming in. His eyeliner is amazing. Wings sharp enough to kill a man. He looks good.

He checks his phone. He’s got an hour until he needs to be at the prison. That’s just enough time to run to the bakery and the florist. He takes a deep, fortifying breath.

He can do this.

He lied. He can’t do this

The flower shop is so small that every time Hawks turns around he nearly knocks everything off the shelf, and that’s with his wings tucked close. The overwhelming fragrance makes his head spin.

He doesn’t know anything about flowers. Apparently some have certain meanings and others have different meanings and if you choose the wrong ones you accidentally end up saying ‘I wish you were dead’ instead of ‘I like you.’

“Can I help you, sir?”

Hawks starts and spins, knocking vases off the shelves. Only two feathers and quick reflexes prevent disaster. How did some florist sneak up on him? He’s the number two hero, for god’s sake.

“Yes, thank you,” he says with practiced, disarming charm. “I don’t know anything about flowers. Maybe you could recommend something?”

“Of course.” The florist’s voice wobbles. Ah, she recognizes him. “What do you need them for?”

He scratches his chin.

“Hypothetically, if you were a spy,” he says slowly, “and you fell in love with your mark, then arrested him, what kind of flowers would you give him to apologize and ask him back out?”

“Oh,” the girl says, her eyes wide and her mouth open in a perfect ‘o’. “Um. I... I’ve never encountered that, uh, exact situation before. Maybe some sort of apology bouquet? Or something to indicate, that, uh, you’ll wait for him? To get out of jail?”

“I like that second one. I kinda had to arrest him, and I’m sorry, but not really sorry, You know?”

She nods, her eyes wide and glazed. “I understand completely.”

What a trooper. Hawks is pretty sure she doesn’t understand, but he appreciates her putting up with him anyway. It’s not everyday the number two strolls into your shop and makes such a bizarre request.

This is going to be all over the tabloids tomorrow, if not tonight, isn’t it? His PR team is going to kill him. Oh well, it’s bound to get out eventually. No way is he going to be able to marry a convicted felon without someone cottoning on.

After a half hour of back and forth over the pros and cons of what various flowers mean and how they would look together in a bouquet, they finally decide on a bouquet of forget-me-not (for true love), white anemones (for sincerity), and camellias (for waiting) tied together with a blue ribbon the color of Dabi’s eyes. It looks kinda like a bridal bouquet. Hopefully it isn’t coming on too strong. He doesn’t want to seem as desperate as he actually is.

“These flowers look nice,” Hawks says idly as the florist lady (Okumura, he found out. Her quirk is making no noise when she moves which is how she snuck up on him. Thank god he isn’t losing his edge.) rings him up. “Maybe I’ll get some of them next time.”

Okumura glances at the flowers in the vase next to the register. “Those are yellow tulips. They mean ‘unrequited love’ in hanakotoba.”

“Ah, I don’t want those flowers.”

“No, probably not.” She hands him the bouquet. “Three thousand yen, please.”

Hawks pays and bids Okumura goodbye. What a nice lady. She did a great job taking his ridiculous request seriously. If it was him, he would have laughed in his face.

He checks his phone and grimaces. He has less than thirty minutes to drop by the bakery and get to the prison in time for visitation. Hopefully there won’t be a line.

Shit, shit, shit. He’s late. How did this happen? He’s supposed to be the hero that moves too fast.

Hawks hops from foot to foot as the guard, a small woman with a spider web of glowing blue lines around the corner of her eyes, undoes the complicated locks on the heavy, metal prison door. He hates being late. It makes his skin itch.

He fidgets, trying not to drop the pastry box in one hand or the somewhat squashed bouquet in the other. He’s on friendly terms with the baker from his favorite bakery, and the man keeps special reinforced boxes made to withstand flight on hand, but Hawks hadn’t thought of how he would carry the flowers, so he had to stuff them down his jacket.

The prison guard yanks the thick door open with ease, and Hawks nods at her in thanks and enters. (How did she manage that? She’s so petite.)

Dabi is once more handcuffed to the table, reclining in his chair, head back and eyes closed.

“So,” he says, and opens his eyes, piercing Hawks with an intense stare. “You came back.”

Hawks shivers. That look never fails to get him. “I said I would, didn’t I?”

“Did you shave? You look like a twelve year old.”

Good to see that prison didn’t break Dabi’s lovely personality.

“I think it looks nice,” Hawks mumbles. “I brought you something.”

Hawks holds the flowers out to Dabi. He looks at them dispassionately and makes no move to take them. Hawks places the slightly squashed bouquet down carefully in front of him. Dabi looks him straight in the eyes and pushes them off the table with the back of his hand.

Yep. Same old Dabi.

“I have allergies,” he says.

“Noted. Good thing I have backup.” He puts the pastry box on the table in between them with a flourish. He picks at the thick tape, cursing. Goddamnit, why do these things have to be so difficult to open? There’s cake inside, not government secrets. Hawks sharpens one of his feathers and slices through the tape. Dabi huffs out a quiet, amused breath, and Hawks’ cheeks pinken.

He gingerly lifts the slice of cake out of the box. “Tada! I got strawberry shortcake for you and chocolate cannolis for me. And-” He pulls a thermos out of his coat. “-I remember how you feel about cake without milk.”

Dabi resists for all of two seconds before he takes the cake. Hawks tosses him a plastic fork before he can start shoveling it in his mouth with his hands like the heathen he is. Dabi doesn’t thank him, but he’s never thanked anyone for anything before, as far as Hawks is aware, so it’s not like he was expecting it.

“Here. Check this out.” Hawks unscrews the thermos and places the lid on the table. “The top doubles as a cup. Neat, huh?”

Dabi takes the thermos and drinks directly out of the container. Alongside the whole Dabi-is-a-Todoroki-holy-shit revelation was the realization that Dabi came from money and probably had a rich kid’s upbringing. Which means that Dabi knows how to use his manners, he just chooses not to. It’s such a Dabi thing that it makes Hawks smile.

Hawks snags one of the chocolate cannolis. He got two because he knows Dabi will steal one. He takes a bite and sighs with pleasure, his eyes fluttering closed. The crisp shell contrasts perfectly with the creamy filling. Watanuki’s pastries really are the best. (And the most expensive.)

He misses this. He misses eating in silence across from Dabi. He misses the comfortable stillness that comes with familiarity. He misses Dabi.

He slowly opens his eyes and his gaze meets Dabi’s. For a moment he sees his own emotions reflected in those eyes before the walls slam down again.

Dabi snorts and wipes his hands on his prison jumpsuit. “Nice try, birdy, but it’s not gonna work.”

“I brought cards, too.” Hawks slips the deck out of his pocket and takes the cards out of the box. “I thought you could use some entertainment.”

“The cake was a better bribe.”

Hawks shuffles the cards with a perfect riffle and bridge. Dabi can’t do it. Every time he tries he sends the cards flying. It drives him crazy. He pretends it doesn’t bother him, but Hawks knows.

“Do you know how to play bullshit?”

“No.”

“Damn. Neither do I. I saw some people on TV playing it and it looked fun. How about egyptian rat screw?”

“That’s a three player game.”

“Is it? Maybe guard lady can join us.” Hawks turns in his seat to face the guard. Huh. The glowing spiderwebs around her eyes are gone. “Hey guard lady, you wanna play egyptian rat screw?”

Guard lady regards him solemnly then shakes her head.

Dabi snorts. “You’re not going to get anything out of her. She’s got a giant stick up her ass. All about ‘professionalism’ and ‘protocol.’ At least the other guards will talk to you or crack a joke.”

“Fine, fine. Poker, then?”

They play the world’s most boring game of poker. With only two people and no stakes, there’s no risk or room for scheming. When Hawks suggests strip poker, guard lady finally says something for the first time — a sharp ‘no’.

The hour passes too quickly. Dabi’s parting “Fuck off and die” is less venomous than last time, but he’s still shut off. More so than before.

Hawks is going to need some outside advice.

[gaypasta]

do you want fries with that?

chapter 10/? Read on Ao3 Chapter Directory

“Can you recycle candy wrappers?” Richie held up a small piece of pink bubblegum wrapper, no bigger than his finger.

“No, it’s usually coated with a thin layer of plastic.”

“Isn’t plastic recyclable?” “Yeah, but not that one - or at least when it’s been added onto paper. I think.”

Richie nodded and tossed the paper into one of the bin bags, the other, which was to be used for recycling - was sitting by Stan, who sifting through a ridiculously huge pile of bottles, throwing the empty vodka and beer bottles into the recycling bin. “Beverly really enjoyed the party, huh?” Richie smirked as he pulled on the elastic strap of a small white bra, shooting it at Stan like a rubber band.

Stan peeled the bra off his shoulder with disgust and folded it, leaning over the bin bag to set it neatly on his pillow, “Yeah, I think she left in a hurry, she left her jacket and purse here too,” Stan glanced over at her waterproof jacket, which was folded neatly on his bed. Not that it had been left like that, Stan had picked it off of his floor and folded it after making his bed. He treated other people’s items with respect.

“Reckon your parents coming home spooked her?”

“Probably, she didn’t expect them to come home to get ready for work and rushed out, or at least that what it looks like.” “Think she went out the window?”

“No, only you do that.”

Richie shrugged, “She would though.”

Stan thought about it for a moment before replying, yes - Beverly probably would. Both her and Richie are as reckless as each other.

Stan dumped an avalanche of beer and cider cans into the bin bag, which resulted in a wince from Richie, who wasn’t expecting the noise. They continued cleaning in peace, Stan methodologically moving from one area to another, picking up cans and bottles and food wrappers and putting them in one of the two bin bags. Next he would check the area for any stickiness, if any soda had spilt on his carpet he would have to steam it - which would prove difficult as the steamer is very loud and there’s no way he would be finished steaming the carpet when his parents got home - even if they were working late tonight. Next, he would pick up any small debris, such as confetti or chips - he wasn't just going to let the vacuum take the brute force - what was he, a monster who wanted a broken filter? Then he would dust, then if applicable, varnish. He wouldn’t go as far as to disinfect, there was no need - although he knew all too well that Eddie would disagree. There’s a reason Stan didn’t even attempt to ask Eddie for assistance.

He glanced over at Richie who - quite frankly - was all over the place. He picked up a crinkled paper bag and shoved it into the wrong bin bag. Then he would move more cans and debris out of the way to dust, then going back to somewhere else that had caught his attention. Richie seemed to find the concept of focusing on one thing at a time foreign, like a toddler just running around the room touching as many things as possible. Stan just shook it off, it was better than nothing.

Stan had let Richie clock out at the same time as him, despite Richie’s shift not being near finished, which caused a mild uproar from Eddie, who looked like he was in the second stage of decomposition. Richie just threw a weiner at him and told him to ‘stick it where the sun don’t shine, buddy,’. A HR nightmare, granted, but Eddie visibly paled and went back to his work, shaking his head at a burnt pan and scrubbing it furiously. Stan presumed he was probably imagining scrubbing Richie’s smug smile off of his face. He’s been there.

They cycled home together, Stan’s dirty apron (Richie insisted it hadn’t even been worn, despite Stan pointing out the ink marks around the pocket) folded neatly in his backpack, alongside his spare apron and the keys to the Diner. Richie kept his apron on for the ride home, the string at the back almost getting caught in the wheel several times. The heavy winter sun threatened to blind them as they cycled down the winding avenues and backstreets Stan had led them, but they had got there - noses bright red and a lot of shivering beneath their coats, but they had got there.

They hadn’t talked much on the way over, Richie did his usual trying to swerve into Stan, but besides that, there wasn’t all that much discussion happening. Richie noticed, but Richie always noticed when there was silence, he always felt an almost compulsive need to fill it.

“So…” Richie’s voice cracked slightly, “Gary’s Mom really did piss in your cornflakes, huh?”

Stan groaned and rubbed his eyes, “Ugh, Richie - I just wanna forget about it.”

Richie shrugged and moved a full bottle of some bright neon liquid out of his way as he scavenged for more empty cans, “I get it though, rude customers can be absolute badgers. Badgers R Us, badger central, breaker-breaker we have a code 4-24 badger breakout - please respond.”

Stan looked up at him in confusion, “Badgers?”

“Yeah like… dickheads, annoying cunts - you get it.” Stan threw a rolled up pair of socks at Richie’s face, it hit his face and fell to the ground unceremoniously.

“No using the C-word in the house, you ‘badger’.”

“Oh, sorry your majesty. Holy place of the Lord, is it?”

“He’s always watching, you know. You’re never safe.”

“Smite me.” Richie kicked the socks back over to Stan, who picked them up and delicately placed them back into his drawer. They were red socks, so they had to go between his black socks and his orange socks. He shifted a few pairs of black socks over to make room so that it would be aligned right, “You should’ve just kicked her out, save the arguing.”

“I couldn’t just kick her out, Richie.”

“I would’ve.”

“Which is why you haven’t got promoted.”

“Fuck off, the world isn’t ready for my unreal management skills. The world would be cowering at my feet, CEOs would be slitting their wrists in fear of losing their companies to me. I’ll be the world’s first ever trillionaire.”

“World’s first ever famous loudmouth.” “Shut up, that’s Gary’s Mom.”

“She’s not famous though.”

“She’s our most famous fussy customer.  Mike loves seeing her coming.”

“Our famed bit-terrible person more like.”

“Bitch? Were you going to say bitch?”

Stan flipped Richie the finger and went back to tying off the bin bag he’d filled. Richie huffed and let go of his bag, it hitting the floor with a heavy sound of glass. He found his way to Stan and dropped himself behind him, so they were sitting back-to-back. The warmth from Richie’s back bled into him a little, it was almost therapeutic. Stan could hear the faint noise of a fingernail on tin. It echoed around the room, seeming to bounce on the walls.

“You get too hyped up about what people say, you know.”

Stan’s back straightened, “And how do you suppose that?”

“You’ve been walking around like someone just gutted your cat all day. Just because some square was being a bitch. You’re gonna meet a buncha rude-ass fuckers in your life, Stan - no point being all mopey and woe-is-me when you do.”

“You’re the only rude-ass fucker I know.”

“Har-har-har,” Richie sarcastically retorted, “I’m being serious. Why you gotta let someone like that put you in a mood?”

Stan sighed and relaxed into Richie, hiking his knees up and resting his elbows on them, “It’s just - I don’t know - she was so unnecessarily hostile it was unnerving -” “I know like who the fuck cares if your kid gets diabetes! Let him have the candy!” Richie fisted the air.

“What I was going to say,” Richie lowered his arm, “she was so hostile about you. About the very thought of her son being near someone who’s gay. She spat it out as if she was talking about a criminal or a pedofile - like with that amount of putrid hatred, I just can’t understand it. I get that some people find it unnatural - hell it is unnatural - but so are radios, and planes and cars and no one has problems with those. No one actively hates them or thinks they’re the work of sin.”

“She probably thought she was talking about a paedophile, to be fair.” Stan heard the pop and fizz of Richie opening a can.

“Did you just open a beer?” Stan felt Richie nod his head, his messy hair tickling the back of Stan’s neck, “What do you mean?”

Richie swallowed the mouthful of beer and tapped on his can nonchalantly, as if this was a conversation he needed to put little thought into, “Gay people usually are pedos, that’s what they think, at least. Probably thought we were fattening up her kid because I simply just cannot resist some glorious love handles.”

“People don’t really think that though, it’s not the thirties anymore.” Stan held a little doubt in his voice.

Richie let out a laugh, not necessarily sour but not particularly sweet either, “I’ve been called it dozens of times. Oh, little sheltered one, you have a lot to learn about the cruel mistress we call society.” Stan glanced over at Richie, who was taking another drink of his beer. His movement must’ve caught Richie’s eyes as he lifted his attention from his drink to Stan. “Do you want one? It’s five o’clock somewhere my man. Unless yer en Eireland! It’s alwaes foive o’clack there so it is!”

“If I say yes will you promise to not do that God-awful accent again?” Richie laughed and reached across to a can of beer which had been abandoned by his dresser. Probably from Stan hurriedly clearing out the kitchen and dumping it on his bedroom floor before he was late for work. Richie worked his finger under the ring and popped it open, handing it to Stan.

The pair sat in silence for a moment, in the midst of a half-tidy, half-messy room with the wind dancing through the room every so-often and sending a shiver down the boys’ spines.

“There’s no need to get your knickers in a twist about it, Stan. Really.” Stan sighed and nodded, he knew he was being a little overly sensitive about the entire situation but the way the woman was so overtly disgusted by the thought of someone who was gay or that way inclined was making his stomach sink every time he thought about it. He was a religious man for the most part, sure. And he recognizes that in Leviticus it’s recognized as a sin, but only God and servants of God can judge. Stan has no authority to judge anyone for their sins and neither do the awful people of Derry. “I’m used to it by now. Hell, why do you think this handsome and charismatic devil wound up with you sad sack of losers?”

Stan took a small drink and shrugged, “Always assumed it was because you are the personification of tackiness. Do people at school really know about it?”

Richie shrugged, “At school? Those assholes barely know how to wipe the shit off their own asscheeks nevermind knowing anything about me. They hear rumours and they think a lot of things. Just so happened that this rumour wasn’t completely wrong - not that I’m telling them that.”

“I suppose they do always call us a bunch of queers…”

Richie laughed, “Yeah, I got my head flushed in the toilets outside Gym one day because I said one of the guys off the basketball team had good form.”

“You know what good form is?”

“Not a fucking notion, his ass just looked great.” Stan and Richie had a chuckle at that. Stan felt oddly at ease in his messy room, with Richie’s hair tickling his neck.

“Hey, Richie?” Richie made a grunt in response, grabbing for another beer, “Want to watch a movie?” Richie made another grunt, a happier grunt.

So Stan stuck on a movie while he and Richie finished up the cleaning, it only took about twenty minutes but by then they were both ready to relax. They were lying on the bed, the TV tilted on the dresser so they could see it from their viewpoint on Stan’s single bed. Richie wanted to lie on the floor, but Stan pointed out to him, why would he have a bed if not to lie on? The floor was spotless, all of Stan’s possessions were in their rightful spots and the house had been vacuumed. Richie had taken care in ensuring that the bin bags were in the wheelie bins and that there was definitely no stray cans laying around the house.

There was only one problem, which Richie had been so keen on pointing out, there was still a fair bit of alcohol left. About a dozen cans of beer, a couple stray ciders and a half bottle of what appeared to be an expensive brand of tequila. Richie stares at the collection, longingly throughout a good portion of the movie. Stan rolled his eyes, “You’re not having another. You’ve already had two.”

Richie fell into the bed in a huff, “You’re not my real Dad!”

Stan gave in and reached down for a beer for Richie and a cider for himself - he recognized that this wasn’t something that he would normally do, in fact, Stan wasn’t really one for partaking in drinking at all, but he figured that after a day like that he deserved it. Not to mention that the quicker that this alcohol is gone - the better. Stan knew that Richie wouldn’t take it home as his Mom would probably indulge herself. Stan kind of assumed it was best not to ask - if Richie could’ve taken it home, he would’ve.

Stan watches Richie for a moment, gulping down his drink as if it was the last one he would ever have, dribbles of beer running down his chin and dripping onto his creased t-shirt. His hair was in disarray and his glasses were crooked - as usual. Stan looked at Richie, his messy clothes, his mismatched socks and was expecting himself to have a need to fix it. He was waiting for his mind to try and force him to brush out Richie’s hair and fix his glasses and basically just change his entire outfit, but no. Not today, at least. Today Richie’s wonky glasses were merely as they were - wonky. His mismatched socks were nothing more and nothing less as a bold fashion statement. And the beer running down his chin? Just plain gross.

Stan looked around his room, his door wasn’t just closed right and he could spot a dirty smudge of god-knows-what on his doorknob. The string on his curtain was wrapped around itself and swung left and right with the breeze from his open window. He looked down at Richie’s shoes which were placed delicately beside his bed, the laces were tied wrong and they were facing the bed, not the door. All these things Stan had noticed, but he had to look for them. He found himself seeking out a reason to be irritated, but there was none - because even though all these ticks would have normally sent his mind crazy. He just took them as is. He knew they were there and the existed in the same way the moon does - you can look at it, and see that it exists, but it does nothing more and nothing less than that. Without the moon, we would be simply that, without the moon. The dirt on the doorknob or Richie’s shoes are nothing more than that, just what they are - existing the way that they were meant to.

Stan felt relaxed, for the first time in a while. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was toying with his head. Or maybe it was Richie, who was so content in being unperfect that Stan could stare in awe at him for a week. Stan realised it was beginning to get dark, which meant that it was coming time for Richie to return home before it was impossible to see clearly. The thought of being in his home - which had been previously full of his friends laughing and dancing and having fun - alone made him feel almost scared. He had been left home alone when his parents were working late many times before, but since he had a taste of companionship on those nights, it felt almost too bitter to let them go.

“Richie, do you want to stay over tonight?” The words were out of his mouth before he had really even thought about them. He didn’t really need to though, Richie was always a welcome addition to the Uris household.

“Sure, let’s get hammered.” Well, that wasn't exactly what Stan had in mind, but if needs must.

“Sure, I’m not taking any tequila though.”

“Cool, double tequila shots for Stan, got it.” Richie nodded as he jumped off the bed and waltzed to the kitchen, as if Stan’s home was as familiar as his own. Stan thinks back to the times that his parents had invited Richie over for dinner after the boys were out playing all day. He always wondered why they only ever invited Richie over for dinner - maybe his parents had been more observant of his friend’s homelife than he ever had. The small inkling of guilt was soon washed away when Richie came back into the room with two shot glasses in hand.

He poured them both a shot of tequila and he had hit is back before Stan had even had the chance to smell his own, he really wasn’t a fan of tequila at all - or any spirits at that, but Richie had already downed his - and Stan wasn’t going to break the tit-for-tat rule. So he knocked the shot back and swallowed it as quickly as possible, trying to get the liquid out of his mouth as quickly as possible. He coughed as his throat burned. “That was disgusting. How do people actually like this stuff?”

Richie laughed at Stan’s reaction and mocked him before grabbing himself another beer, “I don’t think anyone actually enjoys drinking it. It’s like coffee - all the adults have basically peer-pressured themselves into thinking it’s good because it’s a thing adults drink.”

Stan scrunched his face up, “Coffee   is pretty gross.”

Richie nodded, taking a swig of his beer and putting his attention back to the movie. Stan wasn’t even sure what part of the movie they were at, his attention had been all over the place for the past while. All he knew was, after a good ten minutes or so, he began to feel the familiar lightheadedness that he had felt last night. He only had two drinks though, surely he can’t be feeling the effects of alcohol already?

“You up for another shot, my guy? I know you pretend to hate this alcohol stuff but I know you secretly live for it.” Richie hadn’t even gave Stan time to respond before he was pouring another shot and Stan didn’t even have time to conceptualize what was happening before he swallowed the shot. He just took whatever Richie gave him to drink without question. He swiped a bit of the clear liquid off his lip and hissed as it burnt a papercut he never even knew he had.

“Richie - I think I’m drunk?”

Richie stared at Stan as if he had grown an extra head before his face twisted into somewhere between shock and horror, “Please, tell me you had breakfast this morning because I know for a fact you were too busy for your lunch break today.”

Stan thought for a moment before shaking his head, “No I woke up late.” The world seemed to continue to move slightly after shaking his head.

Richie dragged his hand down his face, before handing Stan back his half-empty can of cider, “That’s your last drink of the night, you lightweight. I’m going to order pizza to help sober you up while I have a smoke before you puke all over the beautiful carpet I spent thirty-five years cleaning. Capice?”

“G-got it.” Stan took the drink and relaxed into the pillow, trying to focus on the blurry moving people on the TV as Richie, clearly a little tipsy himself, clambered over him to get to the house phone in the kitchen. Stan could hear soft thud followed by Richie cursing and calling the coffee table a lot of names. Stan cradled his lukewarm cider as he heard Richie give the pizza order down the phone, listing off Stan’s address with as much ease as Stan.

It wasn’t moments later when Richie bounced back onto Stan’s bed, a smoky air following him. “You were quick,” Stan noted, words slurring slightly.

“I realised I still had enough tequila left for a couple more shots and what sort of fool am I to pass that up, Stan?”

“I guess a pretty big - uhhhhhh- fool.”

“Good attempt there, bravo.” Richie remarked as he lifted the tequila and took a shot directly from the bottle, Stan watched in a mix of horror and amusement - surely Richie was going to puke. Richie hissed as he took the final shot, and Stan swore he saw him gag a bit before he grabbed the cider out of Stan’s loose grip and took a swig of that, swirling it around in his mouth. Richie groaned as Stan told him to put the bottle in the recycling bin - which had already been taken outside. He did as he was instructed, and came back with a red face and less stability in his step. What was it about going out in the cold that made your alcohol hit you like a train?

They lay there for several minutes, Richie draped over Stan’s legs and Stan sinking into the pillows, watching the movie. Stan could see Richie swaying every so often, trying to keep his head balanced on his hand - or maybe it was Stan that was swaying. Either way, someone in this room is most definitely not sober.

The sky was pitch black and there was no sound bar the soft revving of cars driving past and the so familiar static sound of Stan’s hand-me-down television. The movie was coming to a close soon, if Stan remembers right. He wonders briefly what they were going to watch next before giving up on the train of thought - Richie would surely pick something half decent. Stan felt Richie squirming over his legs for a moment before laying still. Stan assumed that Richie was just trying to get comfy on top of Stan’s bony knees. That was until Richie had repeated the action about five more times and Stan finally barked out, “What are you squirming so much for?!”

To Stan’s surprise, Richie shot up like a rocket and looked him dead in the eyes. Stan straightened up in the pillows, wondering what was up with Richie, but he fell back into the pillows when Richie grabbed his face and drove their lips together for the second time that weekend. Stan’s heart starting speeding in his chest as Richie slowly worked their lips together - and after Richie was sure Stan wasn’t going to pull away, he climbed on top of his best friend and held his face, his pinky finger occasionally making contact with his eyebrow.

Stan, although in a state of shock, couldn’t help the fact that he was working his lips alongside Richie’s and instinctively pushing his body up to get closer to him. He felt the softness of Richie’s tongue pass into his mouth and he couldn’t help but give in to Richie’s mouth. The feeling of Richie’s mouth on his, and the closeness of their bodies made Stan’s arms break out in goosebumps. The dizzyingly violent taste of tequila bounced between their tongues and the taste of cheap cigarettes only ceased as a reminder to who Stan was kissing. If the feeling of Richie’s hair tickling his face, or Richie’s fucking knee an inch away from his crotch wasn’t enough - the taste of Richie was dancing along his tongue and into his stomach - not like a fire or a flame - more akin to the soft amber glow of a cigarette.

As Richie moved into Stan - pushing him further into the mattress - Stan could almost push dirty thoughts from his head. Almost. He found himself grabbing onto Richie’s creased shirt for dear life - as if the shirt itself was stealing the oxygen from his lungs. He traced his hands up to Richie’s collarbone and with a touch as delicate as a feather - danced his pointer finger along it. It felt oddly intimate - the knots that were winding in Stan’s stomach only tightened - he was afraid he might choke.

Stan was ripped almost violently from his internal fixation on his best friend, when he felt a soft, tentative nip at his lip. It wasn’t sharp or particularly painful - but it was something. It was a gateway into something a lot darker, a lot drunker and a lot of things that he and Richie were not. Best friends don’t bite each other like that. They don’t leave bruises or anything like that.

Stan jerked from Richie’s mouth and held the spot Richie had toyed with under his finger, looking down at the space - or lack thereof - between him and Richie.

“H-hey, Richie?” Stan’s voice cracked a little unexpectedly and he cringed inwardly at how nervous he sounded.

“What?”

“This isn’t going to make things weird, right?” Richie sat up a bit so he could focus a little better on Stan’s face. Stan could feel his face prickling with heat - he could only imagine that his face was glowing red, which didn’t really help his impression of trying to look cool and collected, “Like - we’re best friends. This isn’t weird at all?”

Richie tilted his head to the side, “Making out with your bro? Nah, totally cool. Best way to spend an afternoon if I’m honest.” Richie caught a glimpse of the utterly unamused Stan and rolled his eyes dramatically, “Listen - simple science. If you make out with me - just for kicks, funsies - whatever - then when you go to make out with someone you actually care about, a girl or girlfriend situation, then you’ll not completely suck. Do you hear the gospel I’m preaching?”

Stan wasn’t completely convinced, “We’re drunk.” Stan murmured, meeting a face of confusion on Richie’s face, “People do weird stuff all the time drunk. It doesn’t mean anything, people shove fireworks up their ass when they’re drunk - it doesn’t make a face on their character though.” Richie stared blankly at Stan for a moment, almost as if he was looking to say something - he didn’t though. He just fixed his glasses and moved back onto his heels, as if to move off of Stan. Stan held him in place though, fingers catching the loop of his baggy jeans.

“I - uh - I mean,” Stan coughed, having a little difficulty finding his words, “We don’t have to stop.”

And like that, Richie moved swiftly back into Stan’s mouth - as if any longer away from it would have physically hurt him. They moved together with a little more confidence, their mouths clashing with a little more force, and small breathy noises escaping into the room from their open mouthed-kisses in harmony with the static of the VHS tape needing to be rewinded. Stan slipped his tongue inside Richie’s mouth and felt Richie’s lips move slightly into the form of a smile, before grabbing Stan’s face with a certain authoritative glee that Stan didn’t dare object to.

He could feel what he could only deduce to be Richie’s boner pressing against his own groin - not intentionally, or so he thinks. Richie isn’t grinding on him or humping him or anything, he’s just moving through Stan’s mouth and brain like a cunning snake, slipping through him and toying with his head. Stan could feel the whispers of his first and only wet dream licking at his consciousness.

He could almost feel Richie sucking marks into his skin and toying with him, playing with him in such lewd ways that he blushes to think that his mind even conjured up the image. He felt an urge for it, to feel Richie against him. It was natural - of course - he was in the midst of puberty with someone lying on top of him - what else would his hormones do?

In his mind, Stan knew he wanted more than that - he wanted to feel intimate with his best friend in a way that would only make sense to him and Richie. No one else on earth had a friendship as inconsistent and riveting as them, and Stan wanted everyone to know. He and Richie weren’t like everyone else - they balanced each other in such a perfect way that Stan knew that it had been nothing short of fate - a cruel fate, albeit when Richie was in a mischievous way, but they seemed to dance around each other perfectly in harmony without any need for choreography.

Stan groaned into Richie’s mouth as he moved his body closer to Stan, the two were almost moulding together at this point - and both of them were nothing more than hormonal messes, needing the touch of each other liked frenzied starved dogs. They were grinding into each other - hoping that the other wouldn't notice, doing anything to relieve the ball of tension in their stomachs. Stan gripped at Richie’s hair and prayed to God to turn a blind eye on his current sinning.

Stan couldn’t take it anymore - he needed more than kissing, his body was on fire in a way that he had never experienced before. Without something more, Stan felt as though he was going to faint. “R-Richie, I need-”

And as Stan’s luck would have it, the doorbell rang throughout the empty home - cutting through the two boys’ moans and exertion. Richie blinked at the closed door, almost as though he had forgotten where he was. He fixed his glasses and attempted to tame his hair, as if Stan’s desperate grappling hadn’t made it frizzy beyond redemption.

“Pizza, it’s the pizza.” Richie laughed, “Cockblocked by pizza - not sure how I feel about that one, to be honest. It’s difficult to be disappointed by pizza.”

Stan nodded, not really relating. He kind of wanted to ring the pizza boy’s neck. Hormones sure are a wild ride, huh.

[chyna-ros3-blog]

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[deliciousstrawberryperson]

Jimin~ Past

Summary: A girl named Anastasia who ran from her family. Why? That’s a whole other story.

Length: 5.5k Part 1.

Ana’s p. o. v

“MinieMi? It’s time!” I called knocking on his door. “Ji?” I called knocking again. He didn’t reply at all. Is he jacking off? What if he went to shit? He poops when he’s nervous. I suck in a deep breath and walk in. Yep he was jacking off. Idk why but everytime I always end up frozen. My skin was looking the same but I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. Hearing his supressed moans and seeing him made me cream. Fuck. The contract. I slap myself hard and turn to leave. “Ana. I… Need you.” He says. I froze. MinieMi was my first bias in BTS. I ignored his hot pleas. I closed his door and took out my key locking his room. I was huffing trying to clear my mind of the image. No such thing occured. I was wet and stood there zoned out and huffing like a dog in heat. Kookie saw me and asked, “Ana are you okay?” I nod. “You caught him again didn’t you?” RapMon chimmed in. “N-n-no of course n-not!”

Rap Mon smirked at me and I just chuckled awkwardly excusing myself. Fuck. I need this out of my mind. I need to focus. I chugged a bottle water. “MinMin.” Jin whispered teasing me. I choked spiting water out. I held my throat. “You can’t do that J!” I shouted still coughing. The three boys laughed at me. Suga woke up angrily and asked, “What’s this racket about?” I shook my head. I was constantly zoning out. “He got caught didn’t he?” He yawned blinking. “Of course he did.” Jin said smirking. “Excuse me I’m going to the washroom.” I say occasionally coughing. I sat on the seat peeing. I felt hot. I can’t fuck up even once. He’s a demanding one. I have to resist the urge to knock him in the head. My clit was throbbing. I teased myself by inserting my fingers and pumping a few times. I was going to stop but… I couldn’t. “Ana. I… Need you.” I was huffing trying to cough it out. But i ended up just biting my tongue and squeezing my breasts. Fuck. I had razor sharp nipples! They saw it poking out?! Embarrassed for life. I heard someone open the door. I got shocked and that helped me stop. Why did masturbation feel so good all of a sudden? “Namjoon. You’re not allowed in here.” Suga says. Lol. I am now flushed and my nipples are harder than before. I flush the toilet putting on my jacket. Hot. It’s so hot. I immediately start sweating. “Ana? Jimin’s ready.” Suga says. I gulp. Slapping myself a few times. I sigh. Serious mode. I grabbed my beats from around my neck and put it on my ears. I walk out looking flushed but fuck it I don’t care. I grab my ballet flats from my bag. Lol. I dance too.

I pull back my bangs and grab the supplies going to his room. I sigh many times. He was looking… H- Normal! He was looking Normal!!! I was forcing myself to act normal but Rapmon who already had his makeup done was watching. I was shaking.

Jimin looked at me. He looked so soft almost pouting. Cuuuuuuuttttteeeee! I giggle a little and get started.

*2 hours after*

He was done and he was peacefully asleep. I left him to sit on the same couch… I flew up and walked out the door. Well I’m done. I just need his hair supplies so I can do his hair. TaeTae sat next to MinieMi. “Ana! Do me too my makeup artist is sick.” Tae says being cute then watching me with lustful eyes. I chuckle awkwardly as I feel myself get wet. J and Kookie join RapMon on the table. MinieMi still sitting there sleeping. I do TaeTae’s makeup in no time. I move on to Tae’s hair. It didn’t take me long. “MinieMi?” I call softly poking his cheek softly. I felt myself get lightheaded. The roomed warped and I was stumbling. I rest the curling iron on the counter. Sitting on the ground below. “Ana! Watch out!” Rapmon called. It was too late it fell on my cheek burning it. I took off the curling iron trying to gently pull it off my skin. My skin came out with it. I wanted to cry but they need their hair done. I was still lightheaded and in pain. I ran out and got Christen’s curling iron. Before he can question me I run off. I got back to the room stuffing a chocolate in my mouth. It hurt to chew at all but the next side hurt more. I started MinMin’s hair. They were pleading with me to go to the hospital. I’ll go after their concert. I was almost finished with his flawless hair and I was less light-headed. A few times tears runned down my face and I just flicked it away. It was serevely burnt but I need to finish. In about 2 hours I was done. “Ana are you finished?” Taehyung asked. I nodded slowly. Taehyung dragged me and RapMon pushed me out the room. “But-” I mumbled hissing. “No buts.” RapMon scolded me. “I agree.” Suga said walking up to us. He was already dressed and some them were already dressed as well. They were carrying me to the hospital? But there’s only 30 minutes til the concert starts!

“No. You can’t come.” I tugged away from them. “You have 30 minutes. I’ll go alone.” I say lying through my teeth. “Yea right. Knowing you, you’ll go home and deal with it yourself. And this needs to be treated properly.” RapMon says. “It’s my own fault. I forgot to eat.” They got more worried. “Not again. Ana. You need to eat to live.” Suga says. “With all the mess I forgot to eat.” I said. Fuck. This hurts so much. “The crew members are gonna pull you away soon. Just wait.” I tried tugging away from the 3 boys but they won’t let me. I suppose I should be glad they care. “They’ll cancel and hold it tomorrow.” Suga says. They’ll be pissed. Soon the other dressed boys catch up with me. “Ana!” MinieMi calls. “Oh my God. What happened.” Jimin asks. They boys watch him annoyed. “You slept through the whole thing!” Jin quarrelled. MOMMA Jin at it again. “Ana. You need to eat.” Jin demands. “I know I know. It’s just that as a prima ballera or a rookie one my weight needs to stay constant and my body has a problem regulating everything.” I mutter the last two words.

“I really did forget. Practice today from 2-6:30 then rush here and organise everything. And not to mention the other things, I just forgot.” Fuck. My hands start to sweat. Taehyung watched me worriedly. “I-I’m good.” He knows my palms sweat when I have anxiety. They climb into the van. 5 minutes to show time. Luckily the fans didn’t see us. RapMon and Suga in front. I can never be a ballerina again. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. They were watching me carefully, making sure everything was fine. “Don’t think about it Ana. It was an accident. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.” Jin says softly. “Maybe you’re right.” I whispered back. RapMon drove the van to the hospital. Showtime and they can’t find the boys, who all left their phones in their dressing rooms. I giggled a little still bitter. As a rookie my skin must be flawless and next week is our performance. I’ll never dance again. My ankle’s still sprained that they don’t know. If they did they’d be mad. Really mad.

I’m like the little kid and they’re my parents. Well maybe just Jin. Technically everybody except Kookie and MinieMi is my elder. We arrived and I had to wait. They called my name and all of them filled in the info. After about 2 hours we were done. I’ll never dance again. My life couldn’t get any worse. My scars will remain. Heavy makeup isn’t allowed. They condone the natural look.

I had this bandage on my face and I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to burst into tears. Kookie hugged me from behind tightly. I bit my tongue. I reluctantly loosened his arms. “I’m good Kookie. Let’s go back and I’ll explain to management.” I say climbing in. They gave me multiple pain killers.

*at the auditorium*

I walk in and are met by angry staff. “I can explain-” the security tugged me towards management. “My face.” I say. They insulted me a bunch and then ended my contract. I don’t have the money to sue. I’m still in university. I walked out and was enveloped in a group hug. “Since it’s cancelled let’s have a fun day.” I see they changed back. “I just want to go home, clean and sleep.” I say. They watched me worriedly. They don’t trust me home alone right now. I understand. “If that’s what you want we’re coming along.” I shrugged. They used the van and drove to my home. I walked up the stairs in my old apartment building. We arrive and the place is a mess. I toss my bags on the floor along with my shoes I was about to grab my cigarette pack. “Ana…” Jin looks at me hands on his hips with a serious face. I sigh tossing it in the trash. I turn on the stereo and it plays pop music. I start with the kitchen and disinfect the counters and such. I vacuumed and swept and mopped. While that was drying I vacuumed the carpet. And cleared up my old ballet shoes pile. Since I’ll never dance again I’ll just get rid of it. I toss my clothes in the washing machine and clean out the bathtub. I go into my room leaving the door open and vacuum tossing dirty clothes in the hamper and reorganising. I rehang my clean clothes on the hangers. Sounds like I did that in one go didn’t it? I didn’t. I cooked food, fed my cat and she went by the boys after eating her belly full. I then cleaned the toilet, dried the washed clothes and hung it on hangers. I popped popcorn and the boys sat with my huge ass dvd collection. ¾ of it was anime. ½ hentai. The other ¾ was movies and korean dramas. I told them not to touch the hentai. I see Kookie walked to my Manga collection and MinieMi was looking at my books. I collapsed on the carpet just wishing to sleep. Everything was clean. I was crying. I laughed getting up pulling out my stash of alcohol. I created a strong mixture and toasting, “Cheers to fucking destiny!” I downed it. Fuck it always burned like a bitch. I sat on Kookie’s lap laying on RapMon’s and Hobi’s lap. In a few minutes everything was blurring. “Jin get the bin!” Hobi said. Each one of them shares one my secrets. So if they all gather everything They’ll piece together my not so nice life. They’re scared to do that. ….😴😴😴

“Don’t touch me!” I screamed. He just kept ramming himself into me. My virginity… Gone. He covered my mouth. “You do what I tell you to.” He looked at me with those eyes.

“NO!!!” I screamed. I flew up. Fuck, why? Why remember that? I only woke up Suga and he sat up rubbing his eyes eyeing me. I got up and sat in my dark bedroom corner trembling. I can’t help the shaking. I hug my knees remembering his face and his filthy hands on me. How he broke my spirit. I can’t… I got up to go back outside. The chocolate… Suga pushed me on the wall both his hands beside my head. “Talk to me Ana.” He says seriously. I turned away. “I-I c-cant…” I stammered. He turned my face to his holding my chin up to look at him. “I’m not forcing you. But I can’t do anything if I don’t know what’s wrong.” I need a distraction. Forgave me Suga. I entwined our lips. I pulled back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.” I say walking off to the kitchen. He grabbed me. “Ana. I don’t know what you’re going through but… I can offer to be your best distraction. I’m not good at comforting people…” He says looking into my eyes. “I refuse to lead you on. I didn’t want any of you to be led on but it keeps happening!” I say frustrated.

“You’re nothing but a failure! You’re a disgrace to this family!” Hit after hit I felt more pain in my heart than I’d ever feel outside my body.

“I’m sorry.” I apologise. “You expect us to send you to college. What could you possibly do as a ballet dancer for this family?! Uselese bitch!” My mum threw the laptop at me.

I just can’t. The boys had woken up. I sat there leaning on the fridge my worst moments being forced into my thoughts. I was shaking and sniffing rocking back and forth. There were only two who knew. I… My body isn’t responding to me! Why! Kookie and Jin saw me leaning there shaking and crying. Kookie rushed over trying to calm me telling me to breathe and Jin ran out of the appartment, Jimin caught on and rushed to me lifting me up bridal style rushing down the stairs. Kookie was rushing after us. How did MinMin know? I’m cold. We reached the van and Kookie wrapped me up with the blanket. “Did you dream it again?”

I try to say something. “Y… Ye.. Yes.” I forced. Even my tongue was heavy. The boys got in the van and Jin began to explain. No no no! “Jin stop! Don’t make me relive it again!” I cried hugging onto Jimin tightly. He ran his hands through my hair hugging me back. I did tell him didn’t I? Yep I did. I had calmed down. I don’t know why but after all the anxiety is gone I get horny as hell. I try to stop hugging Jimin unnoticably. He whispered, “If you want I’ll grant you that favour.” It was almost below inaudible. “Thanks but…” I whisper back. “I get it.” He responds. He sounded hurt even. But I can’t the contrac- wait a minute. I’M FIRED! I start to hyperventilate. No! No! No! How am I- “Shhhhh. We’ll fix it.” He says holding me. “How could you fix that?!” I exclaim panicking. “Jin stop!” I exclaim pulling the door open my hair being pulled back by Suga. I emptied the contents of my stomach onto the road. It was 3:00 am. I wiped my mouth on the sweater. I took it off leaving it with the vomit. I rush into Jimin’s arms. I’m not even wearing a bra but he’s warm. “He’s sooo warm.” He hugged me regardless and I felt so cosy. My hands was freezing. I put them under his sweater. He moaned. Everyone stopped and looked at me. “Are you doing more than hugging over there?” Jin asked. “My hands were cold so I touched his arms to gain heat.” I say. They watch me smirking. “Mhmmm.” RapMon and Taehyung said. I laugh. When everybody stopped paying attention I ran my hand down his torso. He gasped softly. I was being naughty. I refused his favour but now I’m teasing him. My hand glided over his sweats easily. That huge bulge! Fuck! It’s bigger than I thought! He huffed biting his lips. “You said no why the change of heart?” He asked smiling. I’m acting hella bipolar. But hell ya I want him now. “Nothing changed sweetheart.” I whispered seductively. “Except that contract and my confidence.” I continued. I grabbed him rubbing up and down. We had a window so no one could see shit. He was suppressing his moans. It was hot. I was hot. I moved his hand to my pussy. Fuck I can’t. I want to kiss him but my mouth stinks. He rubbed my clit softly. I bit my tongue. He kept at it and I was in heat. I couldn’t take it. I climbed onto him. He rubbed his bulge on me. I try to look normal. Covering my mouth with the blanket and closing my eyes. I pushed my hips towards his as he was pushing against my entrance. I grabbed his sweater tight. He continued. I was riding him. Fuck. It’s so hot. My eyes were looking at Hobi. I tried but I couldn’t help but let them roll to the back of my head. I could see Suga and RapMon look at me silently questioning my wanky behavious. I put my index finger on my lips shushing them. I bit my lips trying to stop myself from looking hornier than I was. His hands in my underwear squeezing my ass. This boy! They watch me gulping and averting their eyes. I gave them a thumbs up as I was approaching my climax. His dick was actually out and he only let the head enter me. I ended up going straight down on him. He huffs sharply into the blanket as he bit it harshly. As I orgasmed I could see their faces in shock. Soon van stops and we are flushed as fuck! Just a little more… I just a few more thrusts to finish! Damn it! Damn it all!

We arrive at the hotel and Jimin hides his bulge with the blanket. Kookie and Tae ran in cuddling too. “You’re coming with me.” Jin pulled me to his room. RapMon was alone. Jin was also alone. Jin closed his door and started quarrelling, “Why were you molesting him?” I put my hands between my legs rubbing them together not being able to concentrate. “Jin you can’t talk to me in this state…” He held his nose bridge shaking his head. I get up and watch out my mouth with listorine. “Jin tonight we’re getting this out of our systems. Since I will never dance again and I’m a broke college student I might as well go back to hell.” I said despairing. “No! I will not allow you to go back there!” He says hugging me. He sighs heavily. “Fine just tonight. We’ll cover for you.” I nod smiling. “Don’t tell the others.” I rush into MinMin’s room.

I sat on his lap kissing him hard. “Look at what you’ve done.” Jimin whispered sexily. The moaning started and Kookie ran out of there. He rubbed his hips against me aggressively. Fuck. I can’t. “Uh!” He sucked my neck placing hickees. We lay down and he pulls my underwear down. He shoved it in. “Fuck!!!” I can’t. I kiss Jimin roughly and passionately. I bit my lips but couldn’t manage to hold back as he pounded into me. Why does this feel so good! I’m so wet and creamy. He kissed me again going deeper! Fuck! “Uh! Ah! Ah!” I exclaimed. He changed position. He made my back face him and was rubbing my clit while fucking me. “Uh! No! Fuck! Haaaaaa…” I moan in absolute heat. “Ana…” He moans my name. He then pulls out and changes again to missionary. When he pushes back in he rubs my gspot. Fuck not them both. “Jimin! No! Not that spot!” I was loosing my mind. We were staring into each others soul. He was moaning hard and I was yelling his name as I was about to cum. “Fuck! Don’t squeeze me so hard!” He begs. “Ahhhhh!” He groans harshly inhaling. “So close…” I mutter. My mind’s going blank. “Jimin… Ah…” I moan my tongue outside my mouth and my eyes rolling back. Fuck! fuck! fuck! He went deep the last few times. Fuck! “Don’t stop!” This orgasm! “Ahahhh! Ahhhhhhaaaaa! Fuck! I can’t! Uhhh!” I came squeezing Jimin dry. MinMin was huffing along with me and sweating profusely. “Round two.” I moaned pushing my hips against his. “Wait! Give me a cha-! Ahhh! FUCK ANA!!!” He exclaims moaning agressively. He pushed forward eventually. I can’t! Fuck I’m cumming again! I never cum so fast! Fuck! Jimin can’t keep up! “FUCK! IT FEELS SO FUCKING GREAT!” He moans. “It feels like my dick’s being sucked dry!” He emptied himself inside me once more. The moaning was loud as hell. We were going at it like animals. Fuck my clit… “MinMin you’re gonna have to… ” I trail off thinking he got the point. He tossed his sweater and went down on me. “Fuck! Ah! Shit! Ahaa! Uh! Fuck me!” I pressed his head to my clit. He kept sucking. “Fuck Ana you’re making me hard…” He says giving me those unfocused eyes once more. “Fuck me! Please!” I beg. He slid in once again deeply. Doggy style fuck. It hadn’t even been 5 minutes and I was about to combust. “Fuck! Everytime I try to pull out you’re clinging to me!” He exclaims cumming again its so much. I’m so tired. I could go again but I’m too tired. MinMin carried us to the bed and we slept naked.

…..

I woke up. I got up and looked into the mirror. Naked? I look to the bed to see Jimin butt naked and I was not shocked. I knew it’d happen again eventually. But the after math called a relationship… I didn’t want to deal with. Grabbing his sweater from yesterday and threw it on leaving to go by daddy RapMon. Lol. I opened the door and crawled in bed with him. He embraced me opening one eye chuckling. “Momma Jin would’ve quarrelled.” I say. He chuckled again. “He’s actually nice in the morning.” He responds. “Wanna talk about it again?” He asks sitting up. I hug him again. I like the embrace. All members know this by now. He hugs me. “I don’t want a relationship Namjoon. Not a romantic one. All that ever does is leave me broken. Why would I ever want that again? Besides I don’t know how I feel or how to feel.” Jin opens the door walking in. “Really?! Last night said otherwise.” He states sitting on the bed arms folded. “That was just sex! It’s got nothing to do with anything else…” I trail off. “I hear yuh.” He says laughing going back. This jacket smells like him. It’s so warm. “So you’re saying sex like that doesn’t mean anything?” RapMon asks. I think I know where this is going. “No. It doesn’t.” I say. He turns my face to his. Fuck, I knew it. “Would it then become a problem if I kissed you?” He asks smirking. “My brain would become more confused.” I say. He actually kissed me! His lips, so soft. And it was passionate. I wanted to give into this soft temptation. I couldn’t manage to refuse this pleasure. “Wait… Namjoon…” I said softly. “Stop. This isn’t the way to go about this.” I said a little louder. He continued his sweet assault of my body. Giving me more hickeys to go home with. His hand squeezed my breast gently. His other hand slid between my legs. My clit’s extremely sensitive today after Jimin’s assault. “Ana, I’ve liked you longer than Jimin so why? You knew it too. Why did he get you first?” He asked touching my clit. I began loosing myself again. I can’t… My hips buck but I try to keep them still. I can’t refuse. No! Don’t touch it directly! I held my moans back surprisingly. It wasn’t long before I was a coming mess. With my pussy itself dripping with my cum I know he was tempted to dive in. “I don’t know myself. I’m sorry.” I kissed his lips getting up off of his bed. I don’t want to talk about it. Suga would be the most honest. But I just can’t. I need one of Jin’s pants, Kookie’s shoes and I’m going home. I don’t care that my hair is a mess. I don’t care that Jimin and Namjoon’s hickees and love bites are on my neck and body. I just wanna go home. I push Jin’s door open and saw no trace of him. “Yes!” Jin closed the door and the five other members appear. I can’t take it. I slide down the door as panic and fear races through my system. My head was spinning, my heart was racing, I was crying, I let out a scream and I couldn’t hear anymore. I couldn’t see anything either.

BTS members p. o. v

She walked into Jin’s room like he said she would. Then he closed the door. She knew we were all here. We stepped out ready to talk to her. She slid down the door and screamed. Oh no. Fuck!

JK* I rushed to her. She was unconscious. “Call an ambulance.” I said. I felt for a pulse and her heartbeat was soft. It was regular now. 2 beats per second. I sighed. Her smell is intoxicating. I didn’t mean to but… I hadn’t even realised it happened but I got hard. I guess we did overwhelm her. Why did we all confront her knowing about her anxiety level being extremely high this morning? Why? It’s our fault. I can’t help this feeling of enormous envy. I wanted her to ravish me. I wanted to devour her body like he did. The ambulance arrived in five minutes and they took her. We followed them. We should definitely piece together her life.

SG*

Her smell. It got me harder. Morning wood is annoying as hell believe me. I’m either silent or cold towards her. I don’t know how to tell her I like her and I want to date her. I mean the rest of the band is fighting for her too. And Jin, Namjoon and Jimin have a good shot with her. Those are her rocks. They know more than any of us. There are some things they still don’t know but we do. Jimin and her had sex last night. I was out in the hall trying to write a song to tell her and I heard them. Other people were complaining about the music Jin and Namjoon were playing. But it’d be worse to hear someone having sex wouldn’t it? It made me so mad to think that I’m not the one giving it to her. I finished the song. I want her to rap with me again and write more songs. But what sense would it make if she’s unwell again? I think we should put her life story together.

JN*

Her smell. I had to run from RapMon’s room otherwise I would have touched her. Believe me I wanted to a few minutes ago. It fucking hurt to cover for her last night. I still heard her moans. I still heard her pleas for more. I was to supposed to be the one she begs. She… Fuck. Why didn’t I tell her before how I feel? I can hear him enjoy her. I want her all to myself and no one else to have her. I want to be the one she cuddles with when she’s cold. The one she sings with. I need to know what happened.

JM*

It took us so long to give into each other. We were stubborn. I was. I would piss her off and tease her. But in reality I was jealous she didn’t interact like that with me. I wanted her to whisper in my ear and make me flustered like she does with Kookie. I wanted her to flop herself on my lap like she does with Namjoon and Jin. I want her to cling onto me like she does with Suga. She does so many things to Suga, with Suga… I want to know everything.

TH*

Her scent. I could smell her strong pheromones perfarate through the room. It made me feel like an animal. I wanted to jump on her instantly. She always sung with me. Teasing me. Treating me cutely. The only time she ever took me seriously is…

[Flashback]

I jammed her against the wall, holding her wrists on the wall. “Stop treating me like a child Ana. I’m a man. I can’t suppress myself if you keep treating me like this…” I kissed her. I actually did it. It became heated and I kissed her faster and a bit harder. She futher encouraged it by hooking her leg on my waist pushing me against her. My hips was moving on it’s own. She moaned out. “Taehyung don’t you’ll make me-” I couldn’t stop! Her moans turned me on. “Fuck! Taehyung if you don’t stop… You’ll make me cum!” She whispered harshly, grabbing my ass to stop me. I wanted to see her cum. I wanted to see her wet… I continued and soon enough she did cum her face was beautiful. “Don’t tell anyone Taehyung, the contract…” She begged. “Can I kiss you one last time?” I asked. “Yes.” She replied.

I had to suppress myself from that day on and Jimin gets to dig in?! No way! I need to know what caused her to stop and I know it’s not the contract.

*JH

I’m sure I’m not the only one experiencing this but her smell… It’s done something to make us all hard. No wonder Jimin’s still knocked out from last night.

[Flashback]

It was after dance practice and Suga allowed us to borrow the studio for the evening. We were singing. I was singing this song I made for her.

🎤I can see it in your eyes

Those lies roll off your tongue

“You’re okay!” I’m okay

But Today…

Imma make you scream my name. 🎵

She kissed me. Hard. I was a little shocked at first but returned the pressure. I pulled her by the waist. I turned the mic off jamming her on the table. “Hobi…” She said catching her breath. “Ana. You know that’s not fair.” I was hard. “Hobi… I want you too.” She said pulling down her underwear. Wait… We’re really doing this… “Ana…” I moaned. The thought sent pleasure through me. She began unbuckling my belt. “Ana? Suga might pass by!” I whisper sharply. She grabbed me jocking up and down. “Fuck Ana. Are you trying to make me ravage you?” I growl. I huff feeling good. *Kimouchiii. I stopped her hands becoming more aggressive. I moved her legs to my shoulders. “Hobi wait!” She exclaimed. I slid in huffing. She moaned hard. I leaned closer, she held my face connecting our lips once again. I bit her lips softly. She sucked my tongue. Fuck! I was even more aggressive. I returned the favour. Her hands in my hair she pulled softly. I pounded into her hitting her deep. “Hobi! Uh! Please! Please… Convince me more.” She begged. I twisted her. I hit her from the back. Fuck! “Ahhhh!” I moaned she squeezed me hard. “Ahhhhh! Ah! Uh! Fuck!” Her hips were doing their own thing. I had to hold her hips back because she was about to make me cum. Fuck! She came. So tight! “Uhhhahhhaa!” I couldn’t hold anymore. “Uh! Don’t stop! Orgasm!” She exclaimed. I don’t know if I could make it… I had to try and some how I ended up achieving an orgasm.

We were intimate. No one knows, I think. I get the feeling RapMon knows but I don’t know. We started rapping together more. Dancing together. But then the eating problem occured. I hadn’t know what caused her dizziness but eventually after talking to the guys we came to conclusion her blood count could be low or she isn’t eating. She was dizzy all the time. So I started to make sure she ate. With all the bodily care I gave her she had less time to freely hang out with me and we grew apart. I want her back. I need to know why all the bodily problems occur.

*RP

This morning… It’s like instincts kicked in. I almost ignored her pleas. I… Touched her. But that smell… It came from her. I’m known as her Teddy bear. Most of the time. The other half of the time Kookie’s her Teddy bear. We talk all the time. On the phone, in the studio, on the set, we sleep together, we go out together. I know much more than most of the boys. And I get the feeling Jimin is not the first one to get the puss. If I’m right Hobi was. But I did express my likeness for her this time. She knows for sure now. I know what and why but I need the remaining puzzle pieces.

…….

[vxyages-blog]

[[It's four in the morning, I can't sleep, so might as well tell you guys what happened a few minutes ago. Operation Boo Plush Assassination.

So I got out of the bathroom taking a whizz and my room lights were on, and I walk out to this huge fucking roach on my ceiling. I, liking but not willing to touch bugs, needed a plan. I didn't have raid or any of that chemical stuff so I nabbed carpet disinfectant and tried to spray it on the roach, no effect as the stuff just blew back to me. Plan two was Apple Cinnamon Air Freshener, again, no effect, but my room smelled nice. Plan three was aiming my fan at it, the enemy wouldn't move. I had no choice, I grabbed my Boo plush, the lil ghost guys from mario, and chucked it at the insect. He dropped from the ceiling as he scuttled beneath my desk chair, curled up, and died from shock. A valiant victory in my bedroom, and Duraroach the Unstoppable was given a proper burial by handheld vacuum.

Thanks for reading.]]

[theliterateape]

Cleaning Toilets on Grave Yard Shift is a Trip, Man

by Don Hall

As a freshman in college (way back in 1980), I knew living at home was not going to work for me. Part of it was that my stepfather (at the time) flat out told me he would pay for my way if I majored in criminal law and I wanted to major in music. I had a scholarship for the tuition but needed to make some bread to pay for a place to squat when not practicing my trumpet and studying music theory.

A friend of a friend recommended a gig working nights (midnight to 9:00a.m.) on a cleaning crew for a few of Wichita’s more prominent restaurant/bars. It paid well and it fit my schedule, so I bit.

I met the Boss at midnight at the local Chi-Chi’s. Having worked as a waiter there for exactly three hours, I knew the location. I walked in and he sized me up. Can’t remember his name but I recall that he looked hard. You know the guy — pot belly as hard as a rock, a permanent five o’clock shadow, a shock of wirey hair poking out of a weathered ball cap.

He handed me a pair of enormous hard rubber gloves and we walked back to the kitchen. “Turn it on and power wash the place.” He growled as he passed over a thick black hose with a nozzle.

“Power wash?”

“The water is frigging hot as hell so don’t get it on you if you can help it. Spray everything. There are drains on the floor so don’t worry about that. They’re supposed to put away the pans and cooking stuff but if they didn’t...” and he grabbed the hose back, took aim at a metal bowl half-filled with dried up refried beans and cockroaches, and blasted it across the room. “...target practice.” And he cackled like he’d told a dirty joke about a whore and a priest.

There was a checklist beyond target practice. The floors of the entire place. Carpets. Bathrooms. We didn’t do the windows but we did disinfect the surfaces and table tops.

He and I cleaned four bars that night. I was handed a weekly schedule. I never saw the Boss again.

On my next scheduled shift, after a day of classes, rehearsals, and four hours of sleep, I met the crew. This time we started at Joe Kelly’s Oyster Dock. It was a fish place (duh) with a huge circular bar in the middle and a hard wood floor made with huge planks of aged wood. The crew were two other guys, both about a decade my senior. 

Duffy wore lots of black leather. He had a dark blue Mohawk and had a fifteen inch knife strapped to his left leg. He rode a motorcycle and wore mirrored sunglasses even in the dim recesses of the restaurant. He also was a frothing Born Again Pentecostal Christian.

Tim was a classic burnout. Think Jeff Bridges in The Big Lewbowski but without the charm. He’d done a lot of drugs in his younger years and it showed in his perpetually stoned demeanor and vacant stares. That night, he told me his favorite job he’d ever had was as the manager of The Circle Cinema, Wichita’s since closed down porn theater. He loved that gig but got fired for being caught getting a hand job by a sixteen year old girl.

Now, being eighteen years young, I can’t say I was the brightest bulb in the lamp but my wattage outshone these two retards like a lighthouse lamp eclipses a Christmas Tree strand.

Within a week, Tim handed me a note from the Boss. Scrawled in black pen and in all caps, it read: YOU ARE NOW THE CREW SUPERVISOR. EXTRA $3.00 HOUR. YOUR (sic) IN CHARGE. Neither Duffy nor Tim cared much. They weren’t big thinkers so having the college kid tell them what to clean and in what order wasn’t a problem.

Of the two, Duffy was the more focused. All I had to do was give him the order (“Do the floors, disinfect the bar, hit the kitchen.”) and aside from him jawing on and on about Jesus and Christian Rock all night, I never worried about him.

Tim, on the other hand, was like working with a child. Almost every night, I had to talk him through the order of cleaning the floors (“First sweep. Then vacuum. Then wet mop. Then dry mop. Then buff.”) The guy was just barely there on most nights and spent long smoke breaks at the bar in between each step. “Which one now?” he’d ask in between drags on his Winston Lights.

Neither of them would clean the bathrooms. Ever. That was the only area that my Supervisor authority ran dry. Any time I’d even suggest that Duffy do the bathrooms he’d go into a full-on rant/whine about it. Tim just ignored me when I’d task it to him. So, the bathrooms were almost always my domain.

Here’s a bit of knowledge to dole out. Drunk men are juvenile. They piss on stuff. They piss on the floor around the urinals. They piss on the toilet. They piss on full rolls of toilet paper. Like Storm Troopers in Star Wars, their aim is for shit.

Drunk women on the other side are monsters. Filthy and almost angry in the bathroom. Shit smeared on the walls. Used tampons stuck to the floor. Half-empty glasses left in the corners covered in lipstick. Half-eaten food on the sinks. 

I don’t know if when half-cocked on Long Island Ice Teas the longstanding rage at being paid less and treated like a pair of tits on legs seeps out like a poisonous sweat, but going into any women’s restroom after a Friday or Saturday night of business was like entering the threshold to hell.

I found my rhythm, working the grave yard shift and going to classes during the day. I didn’t sleep much but I was eighteen and had more energy than a weasel on crack so that never seemed a problem. Duffy and Tim were both odd founts of random knowledge and they’d tell me stories of women they’d been with, of other jobs they had, and conspiracy theories about Iran and Russia and mind control via the television.

There was the time Duffy spent an entire shift on target practice and grabbing crock ware bowls filled with roaches and microwaving them. There was the night Tim forgot about his cigarette and caught a vintage Coke sign on fire in Willy C’s Cafe.

And then there was Walter.

Walter was a skinny-as-a-matchstick kid (actually he was five years older than me) with a pompadour haircut and out of his tiny body came the voice of James Earl Jones. It was a dissonance to hear him talk with this booming gravitas and then see the pipsqueak dude uttering the sound. He was also a fantastic actor. I knew Walter from my regular casting in Wichita’s Shakespeare in the Parks and, when he was looking for work, I hooked him up.

Now there were four of us and we could hit two bars at the same time. I always paired up Duffy and Tim because regardless of the work, Walter and I had grand, sweeping conversations about theater, art, movies, and music. We also both really like to prank each other.

Walter’s pranks came in the form of phone calls and plastic vomit. It was as if he spent a lot of time at a Spencer’s Gifts and just couldn’t get enough. My pranks were mean. I was gifted my sense of humor from my grandfather who was known for tricking his son into believing he was deaf by talking to him for hours without making a sound and taught his grandson to try to catch rocks with his head.

One night as I’m buffing the floor in one of the restaurants and Walter is on bathrooms, Walter comes out from the women’s. His face is as pale as a sheet of paper and he looks mortified. I shut down the buffer.

“D-Don. I can’t. I mean, I just can’t...”

“What is it, dude? What’s going on?”

“There’s a...it’s in the toilet...there’s a fetus in the toilet...”

“A fetus? Like an aborted fetus?”

“Yeah...”

“Oh, fuck. OK. Why don’t you buff and I’ll go check it out.”

The relief on his face was visceral.

Sure enough, when I take a look in the third stall, there is what appears to be a curled up, pink fetus floating in the bowl. I’m a bit horrified until I notice the tail. A long thin tail one might see on a...oh. Apparently, this rat has been in the sewer system and the water has gradually peeled off every strand of fur, leaving nothing less than a curled up, pink dead rat in the toilet.

And, yes. I’m a a horrible asshole.

I’m a bastard because I put on my rubber gloves, picked the rat up by it’s tail, put it behind my back, and walk out to Walter. I feign horror. I make my lower lip tremble. He shuts off the buffer.

“Was it...?”

“Yeah. A fetus. A dead baby in the toilet.”

“Oh my god. Oh my god.”

“I think it’s a boy fetus. How about you CHECK!” and I hurl the rat at Walter. It hits him square on his skinny chest and he lets out a high-pitched scream so alien to his deep vocal stylings that it creates another sort of disconnect. He squeals a second time, like a tea kettle or an actress in a Jason Voorhees movie. His eyes roll back into his skull and he drops like a sack of flour onto the floor.

I laugh so hard I feel like I might go blind or have a stroke.

Walter quit that night. I cleaned the rest of the place myself. A week or so later, I caught up with him at Shakespeare rehearsal. I offer my apologies but a few others want to know why. And, in his booming voice, he tells the tale of the fetus with epic flair and manages to recreate his screech to boot. When he was finished, we all applauded him and he took a bow.

I worked this crew for a full year before transferring schools to another state (better scholarship with a good high school friend in the marching band). It’s funny how my memories of this graveyard shift gig eclipses my memories of my first two years of college but isn’t that the fun thing about the narrative of our lives?

[carpetcleanersmanchester-blog]

The Advantages Of Rug Cleaning

Carpets are a  strongly  well-known flooring option for  properties  since they're  cozy  and also  smooth  and also make the whole  household feel welcome and at home. Clean carpets are central to this feeling, and vacuuming,  also as  regularly as once a  full week, isn't  adequate to keep carpets  definitely  cleanse  with the  putting on activities of the day. Regular  house life demands a lot  coming from carpets, and  expert carpet cleaning  is actually  the very best  means to keep them in  excellent condition. There are  several  perks of carpet cleaning, not the  minimum of which is that it  adds to the  excellent  emotion  everybody gets from  strolling barefoot on freshly  cleaned up carpets.  Contact today for your  private,  qualified carpet cleaning  examination  as well as let the  specialists show you  just how your  residence  can easily  appear  brand-new  once again through  tidy carpets.

There is a thought that  qualified carpet cleaning uses  detrimental chemicals,  however this isn't the  scenario. Modern carpet cleaning  strategies,  primarily  warm water extraction,  makes use of water  heated up to  greater than 200 degrees Fahrenheit to remove  dust  as well as  bits  and also clean the carpets. The  pressurised water loosens  spots,  filth  as well as  various other  termites, which is all  gotten rid of  with the  commercial vacuuming equipment.  Warm water extraction is  likewise  completely soap  complimentary,  risk-free for all carpets and,  very most  significantly,  is actually  risk-free for kids,  pet dogs  as well as the  atmosphere. There is no  deposit  left and your carpets  will definitely feel healthy  and also  true.  Moreover,  warm water  removal carpet cleaning  is actually  secure for all  sorts of carpets, from  fucked to berber to carpets with decorative patterns. Modern carpet cleaning  techniques  will definitely  certainly not  disturb the  fragile  threads of your carpets  and also will  in fact help them  appear new  a lot longer.

One of the  primary benefits of  specialist carpet cleaning  is actually that it  decreases the  degree of  irritants  at home. Carpet  brings in  littles and  parts that  can be found in  coming from the  home windows, which  drop from shoes  or even  get into the  house in  any kind of  quantity of ways. Carpet is almost like a filter  considering that it keeps all those  fragments snug within  its own  threads. However, when  youngsters  and also  household pets lay on the carpet they're  receiving  near those  at times  unsafe  fragments,  as well as vacuuming  may even bring them close to the carpet surface without  eliminating  all of them,  inducing  allergy symptom  flare and  inflammations.  Expert carpet cleaning thoroughly  eliminates all of these  bits for a  well-maintained  as well as healthy  flooring you'll feel good  concerning letting your  children  acquire  near.

The  exact same  fragments that  induce  allergic reactions in your  household  may also  create  loss of value to your carpet fibers.  Dust,  discolorations and  minuscule materials can  receive wedged in your carpeting  as well as  use the fibers down,  particularly in  higher  website traffic  places where  bits  are actually being  printed in  even more  often.  Inevitably, those  bits will  lead to  apparent  damage in addition to a distinct roughness under  basic  shoes,  and also  on time the carpeting  are going to  require  to become  switched out.  Spots  possess the same adverse  impacts  as well as are  very  noticeable,  also after the application of  establishment  acquired carpet cleaners.  Specialist carpet cleaning completely  clears away  spots and dirt from your carpets  as well as  will definitely  stretch the  life expectancy of your  carpets,  maintaining it  appearing new longer  as well as  conserving you from  needing to  change it prematurely.

Home owners today  are actually  equally interested in the  ecological  effects of their  activities as they are about the effects of the  items they use, and professional carpet cleaning meets all  requirements. The  warm water  removal  approach  approved  through  qualified carpet cleaners  is actually eco  helpful because it  counts on  incredibly  very hot  temperature levels to  loosen up  bits,  take out  spots  as well as  disinfect carpets.  Also the conditioners,  discolor removers  as well as  guards used in  particular carpets are environmentally friendly,  and also wash away  appropriately. There is no residue left behind in your carpets  and also  nothing at all polluting to the  atmosphere,  therefore  residents  may  rest  recognizing their clean carpets  are actually not at the expense of the  world.  Eco-friendly carpet cleaning  is actually a  recognized  and also  extremely  successful  house cleaning  technique that  could be  utilized on every carpet  kind, every  property and for every  family members.

One of  the best  perks of  modern-day  qualified carpet cleaning  procedures  is actually that they practically eliminate the drying  time period for all  forms of carpets,  lowering it  to  merely one hour.  Along with  warm water  removal cleaning, the water  plus all of the  fragments and  dust  from it are  totally  cleared away  as a result of the industrial suctioning  devices,  thus there's  nothing at all left behind. Not  merely does this  provide carpets the truest clean, it  suggests carpets will  await  furnishings  and also  normal  lifestyle  instantly. There is actually  likewise no risk of mold  or even mildew build up  given that there is actually no  moisture. Carpets are  well-maintained  and also fresh  fully, and will remain  delicate  and also fluffy for many months  to find.

[touchtheskyfeelme-blog]

The Perks Of Carpet Cleaning

Carpetings are a very popular flooring choice for houses since they're warm and soft as well as make the whole household really feel welcome and at home. Tidy carpets are main to this sensation, and vacuuming, even as frequently as once a week, isn't adequate to keep rugs truly cleanse via the wearing tasks of the day. Routine home life demands a whole lot from rugs, and also expert carpet cleaning is the most effective way to keep them in great problem. There are numerous benefits of carpet cleaning, not the least which is that it adds to the great feeling every person gets from walking barefoot on freshly cleaned up carpets. Call today for your personal, specialist carpet cleaning consultation and allow the professionals reveal you how your house could appear new once again through tidy carpetings. There is an idea that professional carpet cleaning makes use of damaging chemicals, but this isn't really the instance. Modern carpet cleaning techniques, especially hot water removal, utilizes water heated up to more than 200 degrees Fahrenheit to get rid of dirt and also fragments and also clean the carpetings. The pressurized water loosens up discolorations, dust and also various other mites, which is all removed via the commercial vacuuming tools. Warm water removal is also entirely soap free, secure for all rugs and, most significantly, is safe for youngsters, pets as well as the setting. There is no deposit left as well as your carpetings will really feel healthy and balanced and pure. Additionally, hot water extraction Carpet Cleaning Atlanta is safe for all types of rugs, from fucked to berber to carpets with decorative patterns. Modern carpet cleaning approaches will certainly not distress the fragile fibers of your carpets and will actually help them look new much longer. One of the primary advantages of specialist carpet cleaning is that it minimizes the degree of allergens in your home. Rug brings in little bits and pieces that come in from the windows, which fall from shoes or go into the home in any type of amount of means. Carpeting is virtually like a filter due to the fact that it keeps all those bits snug within its fibers. Nonetheless, when children and also pet dogs lay on the rug they're getting near to those sometimes harmful particles, and also vacuuming can even bring them close to the carpet surface without removing them, causing allergy flare as well as irritations. Expert carpet cleaning thoroughly eliminates all of these fragments for a clean and healthy flooring you'll really feel good concerning allowing your youngsters get near to. The exact same particles that trigger allergies in your family members could likewise create devaluation to your carpeting fibers. Dirt, stains and also microscopic materials can get wedged in your carpets as well as use the fibers down, specifically in high web traffic locations where fragments are being stamped in extra often. Eventually, those particles will certainly create noticeable wear along with a distinct roughness under bare feet, and also in time the carpets will need to be replaced. Stains have the same negative effects and also are very noticeable, even after the application of store bought carpeting cleansers. Professional carpet cleaning completely gets rid of discolorations as well as dust from your carpets and also will certainly expand the life expectancy of your carpeting, keeping it looking brand-new longer and saving you from having to replace it prematurely. Homeowners today are equally as curious about the environmental repercussions of their activities as they have to do with the results of the products they use, as well as expert carpet cleaning satisfies all assumptions. The hot water extraction method approved by expert carpet cleaners is eco friendly since it counts on very hot temperature levels to loosen up particles, remove stains as well as disinfect carpets. Also the conditioners, discolor removers and also protectors utilized in certain rugs are eco-friendly, as well as wash away nicely. There is no deposit left behind in your rugs and nothing contaminating to the environment, so home owners can loosen up knowing their clean rugs are not at the cost of the planet. Eco-friendly carpet cleaning is a celebrated and also very effective house cleansing method that can be utilized on every carpet type, every home and for every single family. Among the best advantages of modern specialist carpet cleaning methods is that they almost eliminate the drying period for all types of carpets, decreasing it to simply one hr. With hot water removal cleaning, the water and all of the fragments and also dust with it are completely gotten rid of because of the commercial suctioning equipment, so there's nothing left. Not only does this provide rugs the truest tidy, it implies carpetings will certainly be ready for furnishings as well as routine life in no time. There's additionally no threat of mold and mildew or mildew develop because there's no moisture. Carpets are tidy and fresh through and through, as well as will certainly remain soft and also fluffy for numerous months to come.

[blessedwithafuckincurse-blog1]

The Advantages Of Carpet Cleaning

Carpetings are a very popular flooring option for homes since they're cozy and also soft and also make the whole family members feel welcome and also in the house. Clean rugs are main to this sensation, and vacuuming, also as frequently as once a week, isn't really sufficient to keep rugs truly clean up via the wearing activities of the day. Routine home life demands a whole lot from rugs, and also expert carpet cleaning is the best method to maintain them in great problem. There are lots of benefits of carpet cleaning, not the least of which is that it contributes to the wonderful feeling everyone receives from walking barefoot on newly cleaned up rugs. Call today for your individual, specialist Carpet Cleaners Atlanta examination and allow the professionals show you how your residence can appear new again with tidy rugs. There is a thought that specialist carpet cleaning utilizes damaging chemicals, yet this isn't really the case. Modern carpet cleaning approaches, especially hot water extraction, makes use of water warmed to greater than 200 levels Fahrenheit to get rid of dust and fragments and tidy the carpetings. The pressurized water loosens discolorations, dirt and other mites, which is all eliminated via the industrial vacuuming tools. Hot water extraction is additionally entirely soap free, secure for all carpets and also, most significantly, is risk-free for children, animals as well as the atmosphere. There is no residue left behind as well as your carpetings will feel healthy and balanced as well as pure. In addition, hot water removal carpet cleaning is safe for all kinds of carpetings, from fucked to berber to rugs with ornamental patterns. Modern carpet cleaning methods will certainly not distress the fragile fibers of your carpetings as well as will in fact help them look brand-new much longer. One of the primary benefits of specialist carpet cleaning is that it lowers the level of irritants in your home. Carpeting attracts little bits and also items that can be found in from the home windows, which fall from shoes or enter the home in any kind of quantity of methods. Rug is almost like a filter since it maintains all those fragments snug within its fibers. Nevertheless, when kids as well as pets lay on the carpet they're obtaining near those sometimes dangerous bits, and vacuuming could even bring them close to the rug surface area without eliminating them, causing allergic reaction flare and irritabilities. Specialist carpet cleaning thoroughly gets rid of all these fragments for a tidy and also healthy and balanced flooring you'll feel good regarding allowing your kids get close to. The same particles that create allergies in your household could likewise cause devaluation to your rug fibers. Dirt, spots and tiny materials can obtain wedged in your carpeting as well as put on the fibers down, especially in high traffic locations where fragments are being marked in a lot more frequently. Eventually, those fragments will certainly trigger noticeable wear along with a distinct roughness under bare feet, and in time the carpeting will should be replaced. Stains have the exact same negative results as well as are highly visible, after the application of store purchased carpet cleansers. Expert carpet cleaning completely eliminates stains and also dust from your rugs and also will certainly extend the life expectancy of your carpets, maintaining it looking brand-new longer and also conserving you from needing to change it prematurely. Homeowners today are just as curious about the ecological effects of their actions as they are about the impacts of the products they utilize, as well as professional carpet cleaning meets all assumptions. The warm water extraction approach accepted by specialist rug cleaners is eco friendly due to the fact that it relies upon exceptionally warm temperature levels to loosen up bits, eliminate discolorations as well as disinfect carpetings. Even the conditioners, tarnish removers as well as protectors utilized in certain carpetings are eco-friendly, and get rid of neatly. There is no deposit left behind in your rugs and also nothing contaminating to the setting, so homeowners could kick back understanding their clean carpets are not at the expense of the planet. Green carpet cleaning is a renowned and highly effective residence cleaning approach that can be used on every carpeting type, every home as well as for each family members. Among the greatest benefits of modern specialist carpet cleaning techniques is that they practically get rid of the drying duration for all types of carpetings, decreasing it down to just one hour. With warm water removal cleaning, the water and all of the bits and dirt with it are totally gotten rid of due to the commercial suctioning tools, so there's absolutely nothing left behind. Not only does this offer carpetings the truest clean, it means carpets will be ready for furniture and also normal life in no time. There's additionally no threat of mold or mildew accumulate due to the fact that there's no moisture. Carpetings are clean and fresh inside out, as well as will stay soft and cosy for numerous months to come.

[beware-the-weeping-cas-blog]

The Benefits Of Carpet Cleaning

Carpetings are a very prominent floor covering alternative for residences since they're warm and soft and also make the whole family feel welcome and also in your home. Tidy carpetings are main to this sensation, and also vacuuming, even as often as once a week, isn't enough to maintain carpetings absolutely cleanse with the putting on activities of the day. Regular home life demands a whole lot from carpetings, and also specialist carpet cleaning is the best method to maintain them in fantastic problem. There are several advantages of carpet cleaning, not the least of which is that it adds to the fantastic sensation every person obtains from walking barefoot on fresh cleansed rugs. Call today for your individual, specialist carpet cleaning consultation as well as let the experts reveal you how your home can appear new once more via clean rugs. There is an idea that expert carpet cleaning uses destructive chemicals, but this isn't really the situation. Modern carpet cleaning techniques, particularly hot water extraction, makes use of water heated to more than 200 degrees Fahrenheit to get rid of dust and also particles and also tidy the carpets. The pressurized water loosens discolorations, dirt and other mites, which is all gotten rid of through the commercial vacuuming tools. Warm water removal is likewise totally soap complimentary, safe for all rugs and, most significantly, is risk-free for kids, pet dogs and also the atmosphere. There is no deposit left and your carpets will really feel healthy as well as pure. Furthermore, hot water removal carpet cleaning is secure for all sorts of rugs, from fucked to berber to rugs with decorative patterns. Modern carpet cleaning approaches will certainly not disturb the fragile fibers of your carpets and will in fact help them look new much longer. Among the main advantages of professional carpet cleaning is that it minimizes the level of irritants in your house. Carpet attracts little bits as well as items that are available in from the home windows, which fall from shoes or get in the home in any kind of amount of ways. Carpet is virtually like a filter due to the fact that it maintains all those bits snug within its fibers. Nonetheless, when kids as well as pets lay on the carpeting they're obtaining close to those in some cases harmful fragments, as well as vacuuming can also bring them near the rug surface area without removing them, causing allergic reaction flare ups as well as irritations. Specialist Carpet Cleaners Atlanta thoroughly removes all of these bits for a tidy and also healthy floor you'll really feel great regarding allowing your kids obtain close to. The exact same fragments that cause allergic reactions in your family members can additionally cause devaluation to your carpeting fibers. Dirt, spots and tiny materials could obtain wedged in your carpets and also wear the fibers down, particularly in high website traffic locations where fragments are being marked in extra often. At some point, those particles will certainly create visible wear along with a distinct roughness under bare feet, and in time the carpeting will need to be replaced. Discolorations have the very same negative effects and also are extremely noticeable, after the application of store purchased carpeting cleansers. Specialist carpet cleaning entirely removes spots as well as dirt from your carpets and will extend the lifespan of your carpets, maintaining it looking new longer and also saving you from having to replace it too soon. Homeowners today are equally as interested in the environmental effects of their activities as they are about the results of the items they utilize, as well as expert carpet cleaning meets all expectations. The warm water removal technique approved by specialist carpeting cleaners is eco pleasant due to the fact that it relies upon very hot temperature levels to loosen up bits, get rid of stains as well as disinfect rugs. Also the conditioners, tarnish removers and also protectors used in specific carpetings are eco-friendly, as well as wash away neatly. There is no residue left in your carpets and nothing polluting to the environment, so homeowners can loosen up knowing their tidy rugs are not at the cost of the world. Environment-friendly carpet cleaning is a celebrated as well as extremely effective home cleansing method that can be utilized on every rug type, every house and for every single household. One of the greatest benefits of contemporary expert carpet cleaning techniques is that they almost get rid of the drying out duration for all kinds of carpets, minimizing it to simply one hour. With warm water removal cleansing, the water and all of the particles and also dust with it are totally gotten rid of due to the industrial suctioning devices, so there's absolutely nothing left. Not only does this provide carpetings the truest clean, it indicates rugs will certainly be ready for furniture as well as regular life in no time. There's also no risk of mold and mildew or mold accumulate due to the fact that there's no wetness. Carpetings are tidy and also fresh inside out, as well as will certainly continue to be soft and also fluffy for many months to find.

[kingofoils-blog]

The Perks Of Carpet Cleaning

Rugs are a highly preferred floor covering alternative for residences due to the fact that they're warm and also soft and make the entire family really feel welcome and in the house. Tidy carpets are central to this sensation, and vacuuming, also as regularly as when a week, isn't sufficient to keep carpets absolutely clean with the putting on tasks of the day. Normal residence life demands a whole lot from rugs, and also specialist carpet cleaning is the best way to maintain them in terrific problem. There are several benefits of carpet cleaning, not the least which is that it contributes to the excellent feeling everyone receives from walking barefoot on fresh cleansed carpetings. Call today for your personal, professional carpet cleaning appointment and allow the specialists reveal you exactly how your house can seem brand-new again through clean rugs. There is an idea that specialist carpet cleaning uses destructive chemicals, but this isn't really the instance. Modern carpet cleaning approaches, specifically hot water extraction, makes use of water heated to more than 200 levels Fahrenheit to remove dirt as well as bits and clean the rugs. The pressurized water loosens up discolorations, dust and also various other mites, which is all removed via the industrial vacuuming tools. Hot water removal is likewise completely soap free, safe for all rugs as well as, most significantly, is secure for kids, family pets and the setting. There is no deposit left behind and your carpets will really feel healthy and balanced and pure. Additionally, warm water extraction Carpet Cleaning Atlanta is secure for all kinds of carpets, from fucked to berber to carpetings with attractive patterns. Modern carpet cleaning methods will not upset the fragile fibers of your rugs as well as will actually help them look new longer. One of the main advantages of professional carpet cleaning is that it reduces the level of irritants in your home. Carpeting attracts little bits as well as pieces that come in from the home windows, which fall from shoes or go into the home in any quantity of methods. Carpeting is almost like a filter due to the fact that it keeps all those fragments snug within its fibers. Nevertheless, when children and family pets lay on the carpeting they're getting near those often hazardous fragments, and vacuuming could even bring them near the carpeting surface without removing them, causing allergy flare ups and irritabilities. Specialist carpet cleaning completely gets rid of all of these bits for a tidy and healthy and balanced flooring you'll feel great concerning letting your youngsters obtain near. The same particles that trigger allergies in your family could additionally cause devaluation to your carpet fibers. Dirt, spots as well as microscopic materials can obtain wedged in your carpets as well as put on the fibers down, specifically in high web traffic locations where bits are being stamped in more frequently. Eventually, those bits will create visible wear in addition to an unique roughness under bare feet, as well as in time the carpets will have to be changed. Spots have the exact same damaging results and are highly noticeable, even after the application of shop acquired carpeting cleansers. Expert carpet cleaning totally removes discolorations and also dirt from your carpets and also will certainly extend the life-span of your carpeting, maintaining it looking new longer and also saving you from needing to replace it prematurely. Homeowners today are equally as curious about the environmental effects of their activities as they have to do with the impacts of the items they make use of, as well as expert carpet cleaning meets all expectations. The warm water extraction approach approved by professional rug cleansers is eco friendly because it relies on extremely warm temperature levels to loosen bits, remove spots as well as disinfect rugs. Also the conditioners, tarnish cleaners as well as protectors used in specific carpetings are environmentally friendly, as well as get rid of neatly. There is no deposit left behind in your carpets and also absolutely nothing contaminating to the environment, so homeowners could relax recognizing their tidy carpetings are not at the expense of the earth. Green carpet cleaning is a popular as well as extremely efficient house cleaning method that can be made use of on every carpet type, every house as well as for every single family. Among the best advantages of modern-day professional carpet cleaning techniques is that they virtually get rid of the drying out duration for all kinds of carpets, reducing it down to just one hour. With hot water extraction cleansing, the water and all of the particles and also dirt with it are entirely gotten rid of because of the industrial suctioning equipment, so there's nothing left. Not only does this provide rugs the truest tidy, it means carpets will certainly await furnishings and regular life in no time. There's additionally no danger of mold or mold accumulate since there's no moisture. Carpets are clean as well as fresh inside out, as well as will certainly stay soft as well as cosy for lots of months ahead.

[hide-your-heart-blog]

The Advantages Of Carpet Cleaning

Rugs are an extremely popular floor covering alternative for houses since they're cozy as well as soft and also make the entire family really feel welcome as well as in your home. Clean carpets are main to this sensation, and vacuuming, even as regularly as once a week, isn't really enough to keep rugs absolutely clean up with the putting on activities of the day. Regular home life requires a lot from rugs, as well as expert carpet cleaning is the best method to keep them in fantastic problem. There are several advantages of carpet cleaning, not the least of which is that it contributes to the excellent sensation everybody gets from strolling barefoot on fresh cleansed carpetings. Call today for your personal, expert carpet cleaning examination as well as let the professionals reveal you how your house can seem new once more via clean rugs. There is a thought that specialist carpet cleaning uses destructive chemicals, however this isn't really the instance. Modern carpet cleaning techniques, particularly hot water extraction, makes use of water heated to more than 200 levels Fahrenheit to remove dust and fragments and also tidy the rugs. The pressurized water loosens stains, dust and other termites, which is all removed with the industrial vacuuming equipment. Hot water removal is also totally soap free, secure for all carpets as well as, most importantly, is secure for youngsters, animals and the environment. There is no residue left behind as well as your carpets will really feel healthy and balanced and pure. On top of that, warm water extraction carpet cleaning is safe for all kinds of rugs, from fucked to berber to rugs with ornamental patterns. Modern carpet cleaning approaches will not distress the fragile fibers of your carpets as well as will in fact help them look brand-new much longer. Among the main advantages of specialist Carpet Cleaners Atlanta is that it decreases the level of allergens in your house. Carpeting attracts little bits as well as pieces that are available in from the home windows, which drop from footwears or enter the home in any amount of means. Carpeting is virtually like a filter due to the fact that it keeps all those fragments snug within its fibers. However, when children and also pet dogs lay on the rug they're getting close to those often hazardous bits, and also vacuuming can even bring them near to the rug surface area without eliminating them, triggering allergy flare and irritabilities. Professional carpet cleaning completely removes every one of these particles for a clean and also healthy and balanced flooring you'll feel great regarding letting your children obtain close to. The exact same particles that create allergies in your household could additionally cause devaluation to your carpeting fibers. Dust, stains and also tiny products could get wedged in your carpeting and also use the fibers down, especially in high website traffic locations where fragments are being marked in much more frequently. Eventually, those particles will cause noticeable wear in addition to a distinctive roughness under bare feet, and in time the carpeting will certainly should be replaced. Spots have the very same negative impacts as well as are extremely visible, even after the application of shop purchased carpet cleaners. Expert carpet cleaning entirely removes spots and also dust from your carpetings and also will certainly expand the lifespan of your carpets, keeping it looking new longer as well as saving you from needing to replace it too soon. Property owners today are just as interested in the ecological effects of their activities as they are about the results of the items they make use of, and professional carpet cleaning satisfies all assumptions. The hot water removal technique accepted by expert rug cleansers is eco friendly since it depends on very warm temperatures to loosen bits, eliminate discolorations and also disinfect carpetings. Also the conditioners, discolor eliminators and also protectors utilized in particular rugs are eco-friendly, and wash away neatly. There is no deposit left in your carpets and nothing contaminating to the atmosphere, so home owners can unwind understanding their clean rugs are not at the expenditure of the earth. Green carpet cleaning is a renowned as well as highly effective home cleaning method that can be utilized on every rug kind, every residence and for every single family. One of the best advantages of contemporary specialist carpet cleaning methods is that they virtually get rid of the drying out duration for all kinds of carpets, decreasing it down to just one hour. With hot water removal cleansing, the water and all of the bits and also dirt with it are completely gotten rid of due to the industrial suctioning devices, so there's nothing left behind. Not only does this give carpetings the truest clean, it means carpets will certainly be ready for furnishings and regular life in no time at all. There's additionally no danger of mold and mildew or mold develop because there's no dampness. Carpets are clean and also fresh through and through, and will continue to be soft as well as fluffy for lots of months ahead.

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Well, here in my little University town, it is officially move in day for the residence students. That means that not only is campus flooded with new students and their folks, but the 7-11 I go to every freakin Sunday for my junk food meal of chicken wings and a corn dog is going to be beyond packed and utterly destroyed. That also means that Casa del Failure is packed again.

Once again it’s me, your favourite failure, with my precious Bowser Kitten and the Amazingly Awesome Boyfriend taking care of the place. I do most of the general cleaning int he common areas and small repairs; AAB does all the yard work, the really dirty work, and scrubs out rooms when people move out; and Bowser Kitten is in charge of pest control. We have our quirky and quite strange roommate A, who failed to learn how a slow cooker works in his 46 years on this planet (at least I think he’s from this planet), on the main floor with us. In the basement is our young student C, who Bowser absolutely adores right now, taking up the most recently vacated room. And our newest addition is a recent masters graduate we’ll call J, whose girlfriend was my next-door neighbour and babysitting charge more than 15 years ago in a whole other city.

Yes, once again I am living in a house full of dudes. This is a two ovary household still.

So far, things don’t seem too bad. The only real problem we had was with the people moving OUT of rooms. Over the years that I’ve been here, our basement has become quite the collection of randomness that people seem to think I either want or have a burning desire to get rid of for them. Seriously, our little storage area in the basement (which is really just a wide open area when you first come down the stairs with no organizational structure at all) is beyond filed, with things spilling out into the basement common area (where we keep the really really comfy couch).

  Yes, that is a random tire, a whole bunch of styrofoam, an old broken fan, and a box of old used beer pitchers.  Seriously, what the hell do people think I’m going to do with this crap? It’s not like they left it behind and said, “I don’t have access to a truck to haul this off to the dump. Can I leave it here so you can take it the next time you go?”. They just left it behind in a big pile down there. And that’s not all that’s been left behind over the years, either.

  That right there is most of a Christmas tree, a treadmill, a box of Christmas lights (which I am actually keeping and putting up in the living room because the lighting sucks in there), and a box of Christmas ornaments. A few of those ornaments were made for the guy who left them here by his freakin son!  So now not only do I have to find a way to get all of this crap to the dump, I have to haul a fucking treadmill up the ridiculously awkward basement stairs!

It gets worse too, Sunshine. When AAB moved in here, the landlord cut a deal with him and paid him to clean out the rooms and bathroom in the basement. Why? Because the last tenant who lived down there (who left the tires, a box of wires and chords, and a few old alarm clocks) was a huge pig. It looked like he had tried to sweep before leaving, but just left piles of dirt and debris all over the bedroom floor. There were old McDonald’s bags from months before, random school papers everywhere, and the bathroom hadn’t been cleaned once in the year he was living down there. AAB spent days down there hauling up garbage, scrubbing layers of mold off the bathroom shower, and basically sanitizing the entire basement.

Sad thing is, this isn’t the first or last time this has happened.  The most recent dude to leave here left behind the tree, Christmas things, random end tables everywhere (who the hell has so many tables for no reason? I mean besides me now), and just garbage everywhere. And of course, no one can forget the guy who lived in my room before me who didn’t vacuum for more than a year. Even after vacuuming the carpet multiple times, I wound up having an allergic reaction to something that had been ground in there and was covered in hives for 94 days.

Yes, 94 fucking days of hives. In the middle of summer, when sweat made the hives worse.

Living in a house you don’t own doesn’t give you free reign to trash the place or disrespect the owners (or your roommates). There are so many simple, little things that you can do to avoid pissing off everyone and someday ending up on some random person’s blog as their Roommate From Hell. So, here for your reading pleasure, I give you…….

The Failed GrownUp’s Guide to Not Being a Complete And Total Ass Waffle of a Roommate

#1: Clean Up Your Fucking Messes

This doesn’t just mean “scrape the berries off the ceiling after you try to make a smoothie in a blender with no lid and cause a giant purple delicious explosion in the kitchen”. Did you use the kitchen counter? Then grab a rag, or a clean sponge, or one of those disinfectant wipes, and wipe the fucking thing down. Use dishes? Fucking wash them!

It’s not rocket surgery here, but it’s the one thing I hear the most complaints about from people I know who are living with roommates. There’s nothing worse than coming home at the end of a long day, wanting nothing more than to throw a bunch of shit into a pot on the stove and make random deliciousness, and finding out that every fucking pot in the damn house is dirty and sitting in the sink. What makes it even worse is when you realize you haven’t touched the pots in days, they were clean right after you used them, and it’s the same fucking roommate using up everything all the time and just leaving it for you to clean.

This isn’t just in the kitchen, either. I could’ve avoided 94 fucking days of hives if someone had just picked up a vacuum every now and then and ran it across the carpet. It’s not a huge room, it only takes a few minutes. Hell, I got a shitty little handheld vacuum with a hose attachment to spot vacuum when I need it in here!

Just generally, clean up after yourself. You know all the shit your parents always bitched at you for, like picking up your socks and not leaving wet towels on the floor? I mean that shit. Pick up things you drop on the floor. If you take stuff into a common area, unless there’s a specific place you can put it, take it with you when you leave. I’m fucking horrible for this, always have been. I’ll take a pile of books, papers, and pens and just leave it somewhere when I leave the room. It’s something I consciously try to avoid doing, though, because I don’t want to be an asshole.

#2: Unless You’re Actually Trying to Wake the Dead, Pipe the Fuck Down

The student life is fucking weird, and you keep the most bizarre hours sometimes. I can remember staying up for like 36 hours sorting through research once, taking a nap at like 10 am and then waking up at 2 pm to start writing for the next 5 hours. Between the classes, the class work, working a job or two, volunteering, clubs and societies, parties, and some semblance of a social life, you find yourself doing strange things like going to 7-11 at 3:30 am for coffee and a RockStar, and then going back again at 3:30 pm for the same thing. There is no one set schedule that all, or even most, students live on. That’s why it’s so damn important to pipe the fuck down.

If you have roommates, unless you’re sitting in the same room together right this very second, you don’t know if they’re sleeping. Or, at the very least, trying to sleep. I once had a roommate who had this big old tv in her room, which was right next to mine. She didn’t care if I worked late the night before, or was up all night writing papers. By 10 am her TV was on and cranked as loud as it would go. I could go downstairs to the living room, turn on the tv down there, and STILL hear her TV. I couldn’t sleep during the day in my own room, let alone take a quick nap unless I had hit the point of total exhaustion where I could sleep through anything.

I admit that I’ve been the loud and annoying roommate at times. Sometimes, if I know everyone is awake, I love to blast some tunes in the shower and sing along. And just so you know, the Bowser Kitten has a better singing voice than I do, and he’s a fucking cat. Still, I now try to do that only when I know everyone is awake and most (if not all) of them are out of the house.

You generally don’t know when someone is sleeping, or napping, or trying to concentrate. I’m not saying you have to tiptoe around the house as quiet as a fucking mime. Let’s be honest here, mime’s are fucking creepy and I would never tell you to act like one! Just be a little considerate. Keep your shows and music at a somewhat reasonable volume.

Why am I sounding more and more like my mother while I write this?

#3: Not Everyone Is Your New Bestie

I’m a pretty solitary person usually. I practice voluntary hermit-ism. If it wasn’t for AAB, I would only leave my room to go to work and take a shit. I’m not totally anti-social or anything. I mean, if I run into a roommate while we’re both in the kitchen or something, I’ll chit chat. I’ve had roommates before who I was friends with, and we would sit around at night and watch tv together. I’m not living here to make friends, though.

All those TV shows where random people live in close proximity to each other and instantly become inseparable best friends for life are a lie. A bold-faced, spit in your eye, slap you across the face, help you move into a new apartment while they fuck your girlfriend in the closet at your old place, LIE!  Living under the same roof does not instantly make you best friends.

My one roommate “A” is constantly trying to strike up a conversation with me. If I’m chilling in the kitchen, I’ll chit chat for a bit while I cook. That’s fine with me. But just a few minutes ago I was cleaning the basement out. I was picking up mattresses and throwing them into a pile, moving the junk people have left behind, and “A” came downstairs. So there I am, hoisting a mattress up over my head while trying to walk around piles of junk, and he just starts rambling on to me about something-or-other. Next thing I know, he’s trying to push mattresses around back into the spaces I was pulling them out of! While I’m pulling stuff out of a tight spot, he’s pushing against and just rambling on about random bullshit.

I know, he’s lonely. He’s always trying to talk to anyone within earshot around here. I’ve taken to hiding when I hear his door open sometimes. It’s just annoying. Like, I just wanted to throw some old mattresses around and check all the Christmas lights that were down there in total peace. It’s my procrastination from writing. I clear my mind, blow off some steam, and lift heavy things over my head for a bit. I didn’t need him undoing my work while rambling my fucking ear off.

Don’t think that everyone in your house will want to sit around and let you talk their ear off. I have had roommates that I grew to be good friends with, some that I actively hate, but most of them were just sorta here. We didn’t chat, or hang out, or go out anywhere together. Sure, we talked when we were in the same room. I can tell you a few things I learned about each of them, and we had some laughs. Hell, I had a roommate I never spoke to outside of our kitchen who I bonded with over a few very large bottles of red wine while we tried to learn about wine tasting in an effort to sound smart at networking events (we failed massively and wound up very hungover instead). He’s moved out since then, and we don’t keep in touch. It’s not a big deal, we’re just not friends.

When you’re renting with random people or people you don’t know very well, don’t try and force the friendship. You might wind up friends with some of them, you might not. It’s no big deal, you don’t have to be everyone’s friend.

And NEVER, under any circumstances, try to force a new roommate into a “fun-filled” night in with you and all your favourite things. A friend had a new roommate try this, and said roommate pitched a fit when my lactose-intolerant vegetarian friend wouldn’t sit around eating burgers and drinking milkshakes for hours during one of the busiest weeks before exams.

#4: Is That Yours? Then Why The Fuck Are You Using It?

Years ago I had to walk home in the pouring rain, and the only thing that kept me going was the thought of grabbing my biggest pot and making ALL the pasta for me and a friend. Like, we were walking in the freezing cold, rain soaking through our clothes, umbrella ripped to shreds from the wind, and all we could talk about was smothering pasta in butter and sopping up the butter with fresh hot bread. Pretty sure the rain was washing away massive amounts of drool. We finally get to my place, change out of our wet clothes, head to the kitchen to start cooking……. and all my pots are gone. I had four fucking pots, and they were ALL gone! A few minutes of snooping and we found all four of them, full of my roommate’s food, used up in the fridge.

This wasn’t the first time, or the last time, this particular roommate took my cookware. I’d come home from class and my stuff would just be gone. When I announced I was moving out, he actually had the nerve to try and hide some of my stuff from me! In the end, I did lose a few things in the move because of him. He grabbed stupid random shit (a toaster, a fan, frying pan, three plates and a bowl from a 4-person place setting) and locked it in his room for the week while he was out of town.  I couldn’t get them before I left.

If you’re my roommate and you ask me if you can borrow something, 99% of the time I’ll let you. I can’t help it, I’m Canadian to a fault and way too fucking nice to say ‘no’ to someone in need. All you have to do is ask. And I know a shit tonne of people who are the same way.

If you’re the one who needs to borrow something, don’t just reach for it unless you know you can use it. Don’t assume that just because your roommate doesn’t hoard their things in their bedroom, they’re fair game for everyone to use.  This kinda brings us to my last point for the day……

#5: Treat Everyone’s Shit As If It Was Your Shit

An old roommate had a bunch of roommates over the years in his house. Most of them were pretty chill, easy enough to live with. One turned out to be a disrespectful piece of shit who cost my friend and his landlord money over the time of this guy’s lease. Carpets had to be replaced because he never vacuumed them or cleaned up spills. He would burn cookware and just throw it back into the cupboard. He’d borrow a jacket or a sweater and just leave it somewhere random. He peeled paint off the walls, left food to rot on the counters, and even put holes in one of the walls. Nice enough guy, just a fucking nightmare to live with.

You’re paying money to live in someone else’s house. Don’t treat it like you’re Motley Cru and it’s a hotel room in 1986. It’s someone’s fucking property, their home. How would you feel if this was your place and someone treated it that way? Nevermind the anger from being disrespected, you’d probably be fucking pissed off about the money you’ve got to shell out for repairs!

If you borrow something from someone, treat it like it’s your own. Take care of it, wash it, give it back in one piece, and if something does happen to it then you damn well better replace it. Don’t treat your place and your roommate’s stuff like this is your personal playground.

  All in all, if you want to not follow any of these tips, just remember one thing: someday you might need a reference. Most of the apartments in this area require AT LEAST one former landlord as a reference and more and more are asking for references from former roommates. So if you’re a giant dickwad to your roommates, lose and destroy their things, destroy the room you’re renting, and are just a horrible fucking human in general when it comes to renting, what are the chances anyone would want to give you a good reference?

Well Sunshine, the sun aint’ shining anymore today. I’m going to grab my sandwich and a glass of whiskey, throw on the comfy pants, and throw on a horror movie or three. Hope any of you moving for the start of the school year made it through the move safely, and without losing your shit (literally and figuratively).

The Failed GrownUp’s Guide to Not Being a Complete And Total Ass Waffle of a Roommate Well, here in my little University town, it is officially move in day for the residence students.