#need more people to watch this show and cry over it with me ㅠㅠ

[yeommijeong]

Okay, it shouldn’t be salty, so I’ll make a bowl with less salt just for you. I want to eat the same soup as you.

Episode 4, Recipe for Farewell (2022)

[hetalia-reacts]

PLATONIC HEADCANINS !! PLATONIC HEADCANONS !! HOW ABOUT- a doting touchy-feely PLATONC reader with the allies?? Friendship headcanons :3 (do Axis if u can but PLEASE don't do that if you are tired or busy PLEASE don't ♡♡:))

America

I feel Alfred is also a bit of a touchy-feely kind of friend too

Especially with best friends and whatnot

Is either always at your house or telling you to come to his

He just wants to watch movies or play video games with you

Heck he just wants to exist in the same room with his bestie

Will Alfred wake you up at 3am to do something with him?

Yes

Y’all will either be doing mundane things like going on a store run or literally committing a crime

There is N O in between

Since the both of you are both touchy-feely and likely clinging to each other you bet you’ve gotten the same question 1000x

“Are you two dating?”

You both either go for the ewww hell no or a straight faced but sarcastic yes we totally are

But it’s 50/50 if you both actually go for the same response

It’s a game at this point to see if you guys can read each other’s minds

You guys usually make an awkward situation for the person that asked because one will say yes and the other says eww and neither of you will back down and explain that you guys are just sarcastic and teasing jerks lmao

England

Arthur isn’t the most touchy person so having a friend that is can be tough sometimes

He does appreciate the hugs and physical comfort/support but he just gets kinda awkward

Well at first anyways

When you are certified besties he’s used to it and one can often find him gravitating towards you to just be close

Will never admit he likes it though sorry he’s a hard head

No one dares ask either of y’all that dreaded question though because they don’t want to deal with his sarcasm and the lecture that’s sure to follow

Arthur is a chill bestie though

Often invites you over to just be together

He doesn’t care if it’s just to talk, do something, or simply enjoy the presence of someone else

Help him cook maybe?

Even if you suck at cooking he enjoys attempting to cook with someone else

And that also means having fun in the kitchen and being complete dorks the whole time

And also having to order food or eat a sandwich because unless you can cook it’s going to be inedible

Will make you watch and read Sherlock, even if he has to be there or read it to you it’s happening

France

Francis is very touchy as a friend unless he knows someone dislikes it

So having a bestie that is like him is perfect

People probably think y’all are glued together at this point

No one would ever think y’all are dating either because Francis acts completely different with his bestie than a love interest

He’s kind of a mean ass ngl

He likes to jokingly bicker and fight with you

And definitely likes to cling and be dramatic with you to the point it’s annoying to others

Francis drags you with him everywhere

His house, the gym, the store, England’s house, etc

He cant just go alone anymore it would feel wrong like he’s forgetting something

If you’re bad at dressing or have no style he’s got your back

Literally shops for you but also constantly says things like you’ll never look as good as him

You are also one fo the few that will ever see Francis get serious or down in the dumps

It’s just something he doesn’t wear on his sleeve and reserves for those closest to him

Canada

Matthew is not used to having people cling to him

He’s not really used to having people notice him so having a someone that’s his bestie, that notices him the most, and always clings and talks to him is a strange and wild concept

Doesn’t mind the touchiness and honestly rather prefers it

He’s kinda touch starved :/

Matthew is likely always at your house with Kumajirou

Movie marathon and cuddles yo

Also as his closest friend you come to see his ‘secret’ side of being sarcastic and a complete savage

This boy does not hold back with you either

Maybe at first he did but when he realized y’all are in this friend stuff for life he won’t censor or sugar coat things if it’s not necessary

Makes you play and watch hockey with him

Will teach you everything if you know nothing

Matthew is the type of friend to invite you to his families holidays/vacations and come to yours

He knows and is cool with basically all of your family

I mean who could hate or dislike this polite boy?

Russia

Ivan is not used to friendship either as people usually tremble in fear before him

so having a friend that is touchy on top of having a close friend can be a bit much at times

But he’s happy!

He loves the hugs! Loves the contact! Loves having a friend!

Loves cuddles most of all he won’t lie, Ivan loves the feeling of comfort and support when you cuddle him

People do often assume you two are dating because most people assume someone would only put up with him if they were in love with him

Neither of you mind the rumors since y’all know the truth

Ivan is the sweetest friend

He shows up unannounced with food or groceries all the time

Always helping you out without being asked

Like oh your washing machine broke I fixed it/bought you a new one already or oh you suck at this let me explain it and teach it to you

Does this completely unprompted

He’s always over at yours or always inviting you over to his

Wants to do classic friend things?

Like things he sees in movies and shows that friends do a lot or things he’s overheard from others

Late night store runs, hanging out at parks, showing up unannounced to crash at your place, those kind of things

You’re the only person he confides in, you know all his secrets, his sadness, everything

Honestly, Ivan is the person who needs a touchy-feely friend the most out of everyone

China

Yao is happy about having a touchy friend but will always play like he hates it

Not in like a tsundere “I totally d-don’t need friends baka” kind of way but a really dramatic “omg I can’t believe you’re so obsessed with me haha loser” kind of way

He’s only joking of course and apologizes if you get hurt by his teasing or he crosses a line

Only a brave few would try and ask if y’all are more than friends

They have to listen to a lecture with an angry Yao explaining that people can be close and not want to date and how immature and inappropriate they’re being

Totally the type of friend that mothers you

Constantly says you look skinnier than last time and forces you to eat because he’s worried for you

Will not sugar coat anything for you

If you ask for his advice then I’m sorry but you’re gonna get it even if it makes you cry or get mad

Yao wants you over at his constantly

He’s lonely man ㅠㅠ

And he doesn’t want to leave the comfort of his house

Expect a lot of his gifts for your birthday/holiday to be cute plushies he found

Germany

Ludwig act differently depending on when y’all become besties

Like before Italy, he’s nervous, confused, and slightly annoyed by all the touching and notion of being besties

If it’s after Italy he’s used to all the touchiness and has figured out how to show his friendship to you in other ways

Like making you things! Or simply inviting you to hang out!

Ludwigs is always gonna be a bit awkward though

Always shy about hanging out and inviting you over

Many people assume you two to be dating because of his awkwardness but he is the first to start defending your friendship and it’s pure nature

He develops a sixth sense and now answers people’s questions about the two of you without even looking at them

He can just feel the nasty vibes

Asks you to do mundane things with him

Like shopping or even chores

Asks you to come bake with him a lot

It was embarrassing at first since not many people know his love of making sweets but he’s over that now

I know I say this a lot, but please work out with him _(:3 」∠)_

My guy just wants a work out buddy, a spotter, a n y t h i n g just please pick up the smallest dumbbell and pretend you want to work out

If you ask for advice expect him to be straight to the point about it but comfort you afterwards

Italy

Feliciano is a god tier bestie if your touchy-feely

Doesn’t matter if that touchy-feely emotionally and/or physically he’s down for both

Like please hold his hand, hug him, give him head pats, cheek kisses or any form affection really

No one even thinks anything of it, it’s just Feliciano being himself

If anyone did ask if you were dating he might get self-conscious of his actions, he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable or like he was trying to be something more with you

He’s easy to calm down though

Feliciano invites you out all the time

Restaurants, wine tastings, farmers markets, gondola rides, just about anything he can think of that he thinks you would like to do

Always at your house

He eats all of your food too, but he makes you some in return so it’s okay

Gives really good advice

Like for his bestie he’ll get super serious and thoughtful about your issues, even spending days thinking of solutions

Tries not to sugar coat things for you but ends up doing just that

He doesn’t want to make his friend cry or even more anxious

Will comfort you though if you are upset about anything he’s said and apologizes profusely for it too

Japan

Kiku is overall one of the ones who needs a touchy bestie but is the most challenging with receiving or giving the touchiness back

He’s a man who enjoys personal space and alone time, so he’s honestly surprised anyone considers him a true best friend

He knows he can get a bit feisty and shut himself away when he gets uncomfortable and that makes it hard to truly befriend him

But he’s really happy you stick around and deal with his awkwardness and rejection of your affection

Tries his hardest to at least accept your friendly affection

No one would dare ask if you two are flirting or together because my god it’s taking so much of his effort to just sit less than 2 feet away from you at the start so they don’t want to ruin his progress by making it awkward

Kiku definitely asks for your opinion on anime and manga

Gets into heated debates with you over certain ones

Is shy but asks you to come over a lot

Likes to have tea and snacks with you while you guys talk

Y’all can talk for literally a whole day

You sleepover a lot, he insists and even got you your own futon with a cool custom cover

Gifts you a kotatsu at some point because he loves them and he thinks you should enjoy them all the time too

When he gets over a lot of shyness he loves when you do simple forms of affection with him

Like ruffling his hair or holding onto his arm or even just leaning against him

He enjoys those the most since they aren’t too physical and mentally taxing on him and it still let you physically express your friendship with him like you love to do

If you ask for advice either get prepared for a harsh wake up call or a stumbling mess of words

It’s 50/50 if Kiku gives you the stone cold truth or tries to spare your feelings

As your friend he thinks you deserve the truth but he doesn’t want his harsh advice to ruin your mood or make you hate him

[ikykwklk]

— numb | b.c.

A/N: Hi guys! This is my first ever written imagine, so please bear with me if I have any mistakes ㅠㅠ I was actually having constant fight with myself because of this, but I finally did post it! Hope you guys like this and tell me if you guys want me to write more because it would really help me ㅠㅠ

Genre: fluff, angst, cheater!bang chan, idol!bang chan, idol!reader

Dancing has always been your option to escape this cruel world that we live in.

You've always danced your heart out everytime you perform.

And it has always been there whenever you can't express your feelings to others.

"Okay! We're done now!" Your choreographer yelled right after your newest title track ended.

Your group dropped onto the floor right after you got the okay signal from him. Pants and gasps of your members were the only sound that surrounds the dance practice room.

"You did great y/n, I'm relieved that you're a fast learner" your choreographer said as he patted your shoulder, you shot him a tired smile then mumbled a "thank you", "You guys are good to go right after cleaning up the dance practice room, the room is needed for later" your members immediately took their bags and started cleaning the room.

"Hey y/n! Are you coming with us? We'll head to the dorm right after cleaning" one of your members said, Chaeryoung to be exact, as she picked up the pieces of the group's snacks earlier. "Nah, you guys get going, I still have rap lessons later", Chaeryoung nodded and went straight to the door with the other members following behind her.

"Take care y/n, we don't want our newest member to not feel well before our comeback, alright?" Your leader, Yeji said as she sling her bag on her shoulder and head towards the door. "Will do, Unnie, you guys take care too!" They waved for the last time before shutting the door behind you.

You still can't believe that you had been added as 6th member of ITZY right after you auditioned from a year ago. You've worked hard to become an idol and now you're here, you know that you needed to work harder than you did. That's why you wanted to left behind, because you wanted to improve more.

You move towards the speaker to play your title track from it's beginning and ran towards the mirror, posing your position and danced all your heart out.

When the music ended, the door suddenly slammed open leaving a squeak from your lips and watched the door with your brows meeting together.

"Oh, Hey y/n! Didn't know you'd still be here!" You smiled at the people as they start to come inside the room one by one, making the room filled with voices again.

"Hey Jisung Oppa, sorry, I totally forgot that you were using the room after us".

"It's fine! You can still continue practicing, we just came here to eat our dinner, our practice has been cancelled" Jeongin said as he skipped towards the sofa then dropped his bag.

"Is that why Chan Oppa is not with you?" You walked towards them, Minho nodded at you then started to ramble about how the oldest is not taking care of himself again.

Chan was your secret lover, he helped you ever since you moved to Seoul year ago. You both got close and even letting you hide in his studio whenever you don't feel like going back to your dorms. It was that time where you got insecure because of how people see you as a person who doesn't have any emotions.

You aren't actually the kind of person who hides their emotions in front of other people, instead you let out all of your emotions a lot that they often found you as a prey. But as you realized their intentions, you started to become numb, putting walls around you as you meet the old and new faces you've seen in your life.

Only Chan, his members, also known as Stray Kids and your own members, ITZY are the only people who have seen your crazy side, and with you debuting on ITZY, means that the public needs to see your crazy side too, and that what made you overthink about you being an idol.

Chan was the one who came into your mind, and when you told him your worries, he accidentally confessed to you while he comforted you which made you stop crying, he got worried and apologized over and over until he felt your lips against his.

And after that, you never doubted yourself again.

"Can you check on him, y/n? Tell him that the food's on it's way"

"Sure thing, be right back" you walk towards the door then went inside the floor's elevator to your boyfriend's studio.

The boys knew your relationship with their leader, and they're very happy to welcome you in their circle of friends. Since they now have known the oldest weakness, which is you, they don't mind abusing it knowing that it's also for their leader's health.

You and Chan knew that when you enter in a relationship as an idol, it would mean that you two need to be more careful since you haven't even debuted yet and dating one of the well known leader in 4th generation of kpop history. So it means, less time being and seeing each other, but whenever you got the chance to go and visit him in the studio, you would. Even if you need to sacrifice hours of your sleep to  see him.

Because that's what made you both stronger and desired each other more.

Right?

As the elevator dinged, you step outside and walk towards the all known studio that your CEO gave your boyfriend to work on their music.

You opened the door knowing that he'll be wearing headphones, his back facing you with the sounds of keypads tapping filled the studio.

But instead you were welcomed with Chan's back facing you and a girl sitting on his lap, her moans and Chan's groans filled the studio along with their skin slapping.

The door you opened slammed on the wall, making your boyfriend and the girl stopped what they're doing, their closed eyes before are now wide open as they looked at you standing in the studio's door.

You ran outside the studio heading towards the elevator before your vision becomes blurry by the mixed emotions you're feeling at the moment. You hear Chan calling your name behind you but you have no plans on talking to him right now.

Good thing that a staff of the company stepped outside the elevator, you went inside and pushed the dance practice floor quickly. Chan chased after you but the elevator doors closed right in front of him.

As the door closed, you lean back against the elevator wall, stared at the door then tilted your head while looking at your blurred reflection in front of you.

You've been through this already, having your heart shattered by guys before Chan came into your life. He knew about those experiences you had which is why it is hard for you to pinpoint your emotions at him.

Are you mad at him because he knows you like the back of his hand?

Are you mad at him because of what you've seen in his studio?

Or are you mad at yourself because you trusted him with taking care of you heart?

You couldn't care less anymore now. He broke his promise that he will take care of you. It's not new to you anymore, but the pain that Chan had cause you to feel it again, and made your numb self worse than you are before.

So when the elevator dinged to know that you've arrived on the dance practice floor, you shook your head to clear your head with thoughts and went to the boys who are inside the room before.

As you opened the door, heads were turned and you immediately noticed that your members are with the boys. When Yeji saw you she ran towards you and gave you your in-ear monitors.

"Y/N! Manager oppa said that JYP needed to see your performance with us now since their practice are cancelled" Yeji pointed at the Stray Kids members who are sitting on the floor quietly eating their dinner.

"Y/n-ya, where's Chan hyung? Did you told him that the food's here?" Hyunjin asked you as Lia helped you with your in ear monitor and handing your mic.

Before you even got the chance to answer, the dance room's door opened again to reveal JYP, along with your choreographer and your boyfriend, who's head is hanging low while following the two older men inside the room.

Your members and Chan's stood up to greet the three as JYP told the Stray Kids to continue eating as your group start to prepare for your performance in front of him.

"I want to see the dance performance that you prepared, Y/n-ssi. Sorry for the sudden announcement of your evaluation, you needed to be verified that you're qualified to become the part of ITZY," JYP explained your situation while Ryujin went to the computer to prepare your music.

You saw Chan at the corner of your eye as you assured the CEO that it was okay and asked you about your performance in your lessons. You couldn't bring yourself to smile at the man who was talking to you, so you just nod and answered his questions before he asked you to move towards the mirror to look at your performance.

You walked towards in front of the mirror and looked at your friends who was cheering you silently, smiling at you as your eyes landed on Chan, which you shrugged and close your eyes to yourself focus on your performance.

This is what you've been waiting for, now those emotions that you can't express, you can finally show it to them. You should be nervous performing in front of the owner of the company, but you let your emotions take over you, letting everything go and make sure that Chan is listening.

Do you remember you remember (Said)

Remember what you said (Said)

You started talking to me

As if you would give anything to me

Don’t you remember you remember

Remember what you said (Said)

Then you changed

As if you took special pills

Cast blue, my blurred vision

Is this true? You won’t regret this?

My yesterday, my boo boo boo

Lonely life, I like it

I swallowed the water, I got cold

I want you to be ruined, I won’t hold you

You were my yesterday, my boo boo boo

Lonely life, good bye

You look at me with cold eyes

You see me and turn as if you didn’t know me

I just stand here vacantly

I see you who I didn’t know

I can’t help laughing

Now I don’t know you anymore

I’ll forget you woo woo woo

Go away, don’t even look back

I’ll erase you woo woo woo

Go away, don’t even look back

The mixed emotions that you've been bottling in from the events hours ago has suddenly came over to you. You suddenly felt like a new person, you feel like you were the only one watching yourself dance into the rhythm.

When the music stops, you hear applause from your right side, realizing that they've been watching all along. After you give your bow, JYP confirmed that you will be debuting as the 6th member of ITZY and will prepare immediate comeback for your group. You give your thank you's and bowed at your choreographer and the CEO, who is now exiting the room, leaving you with your members, Stray Kids and Chan.

Oh, right. Bang Chan was watching you.

You were pulled into a hug by your members, squealing and congratulating you for being able to debut and join alongside with them. Stray Kids joined in congratulating you for your hard work, but you weren't responding, you weren't happy, you finally became an idol, but why does it feel like nothing?

"Y/n, I'm so sorry please let me expla–"

You turn your back on him and went towards where your backpack is, you took off your in ear monitor and put it inside your bag before you sling it on your shoulder and looked at your friends.

"I'll be going now, enjoy your dinner", you said in a cold tone and walk towards the door.

"Y/n, please talk to me," Chan grabs your wrist tightly with his two hands, you heard his voice shaking, realizing his mistake.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes, there is! Please! Don't leave me, I won't do it again!" You heard Chan starting to cry, your wrist now wet because of his tears falling.

"I only asked you a promise Chan", you said, your back facing him.

"I know, and I am sorry, I wasn't thinking straight, I should've never done it." He pulled you into him, hugging you from behind.

"But please, don't leave me, I can't live without you" he continued as he put his head at the crook of your neck. You hold his arms to let yourself go from him and turn around to look at him.

His black curly locks that you used to play with are messy, his eyes and nose are red because of crying, cheeks that are stained of with his tears, shaking lips as he continue to cry in front of you. Chan wasn't looking at you, he was hanging his head low but enough for you to see his state.

You would've forgive him. But the image of him and the girl earlier keeps flashing back into your head, giving yourself more reason to shut yourself from everyone else.

Now you can't feel anything, you're just there standing in front of him; blank face, your eyes that always holds stars are now just brown orbs filled with darkness and your lips pressed on a line that used to smile back then.

"Then good luck finding a way to live then, Bang Chan Sunbaenim," you bowed and walked away from him.

[bbugyu]

:o i dont really know much about mbti types but u seem really knowlegable >.< what about dk's mbti??

oh my god the way i got a boner from being called knowledgeable OK LETS GO I LOVE SEOKMIN SO MUCH

seokmin is an infp, which is the mediator. i actually float between this personality type and infj (the advocate, which is also what wonwoo jihoon and minghao are), so seokmin and i are very similar in a lot of ways - our differences come from our zodiac signs i think ㅠㅠ; infps are actually really rare! yet seventeen has four KDJFSK they value harmony and authenticity and they always have the best intentions - which!!! IS SO SEOKMIN!!!! he will always see the best in people and always act with the best intentions! he is kind to a fault! what a sweet baby.

ok, here’s the breakdown. under the cut. tw seokmin best boy

seokmin is so shy. he doesn’t seem it, because when he’s with svt he goes BUCK FUCKING WILD but in reality he clams up around people he’s not super comfortable around. example: that one picture of him standing with yuju from gfriend where he looks like he’s gonna shit himself kJHFJS or when he was filming his solo parts for the mama performance and he kept saying how nervous he was without the members. he’s super reserved around people he hasn’t known for forever. he even tends to be quiet on variety shows, only really doing his fun comedy bits and talking when other members prompt him (which is almost always jeonghan or seungkwan don’t get me started). infjs (like isfjs) tend to keep a very small group of friends that they are very open and seemingly extroverted with, which is why we get to see seokmin’s genuine personality a lot. he is so fully himself when he is with seventeen and i think that is so beautiful. that being said, infps also are the most social introverts. he makes friends everywhere, and genuinely cares about all of them. his excallibur castmates have said that he was such a bright loving personality on stage and behind the scenes, and he would always visit and support them even after they stopped working together! he went to plays they starred in and posted pictures with them, telling carats to go support them too. you can tell they really appreciated this, because they would return the favor and go to seventeen concerts to cheer him on!

seokmin’s intuition is no joke. he seems a little naive at times, but he is also extremely good at looking at the big picture of a situation and deciding what needs to be done, ie. when they were leaving the venue during ttt he was seemingly the only one that remembered they left a giant mess in the kitchen. that being said, infps skip over details a lot. he also is SO FUNNY like he is genuinely the FUNNIEST MEMBER in my opinion because he just understands every situation so clearly. he’s able to take something a little mundane or whatever and comment on it or react in a way that’s REALLY FUNNY like when they were driving home from ttt and mingyu said he could buy the walnut sweets JFDSKJDSF mingyu wasn’t expecting him to say yes bc they’re such a common treat and seokmin laughed at first but hten immeidately was like “oh actually yes order them” and gyu was like ??? but seokmin kept just saying “stop talking to me order the walnut sweets pls” GODD THEY’RE SO FUNNY i literally cry laugh at shit seokmin does like i don’t know how he does it he’s the funniest motherfucker i’ve ever seen.

he seems like the most understanding member of svt to me. the others are too, ofc, but seokmin’s on another level. infps also feel very deeply and genuinely. as an intuitive personality type, he is immensely empathetic, but not in the same way that jeonghan is. seokmin feels other peoples’ emotions like they’re his own. he sympathizes fully and completely, and i think he tries really hard to internalize that as to not seem so emotional all the time, but as soon as the facade cracks he starts cRYINGGG like he’s a BABY he can’t help it he just FEELS SO MUCHhhh. idk if anyone else notices this but he always repeats what is being said? i find this to be related because he is actively listening, and his way of showing is affirming with short responses every few sentences. he seems like such a good person to go to when you’re struggling and want someone to comiserate with. seungkwan is someone you go to when you need advice, but seokmin is the one you go to when you want to vent, because he’ll immediately match how you’re feeling about the situation and empathize with you.

i think seokmin also tends to take things personally? i think he’s gotten better about this in recent years and instead uses it as a joke, but you can tell it still bothers him sometimes ㅠㅠ like, okay, so seokmin posted that picture for seungkwan’s birthday and said something along the lines of “do you remember when we went out to have fun and fought? sorry i couldn’t be better” etc so in boo’s birthday live he explained the situation because it was resolved nicely. he said that the two of them went kayaking with jeonghan (which, btw, booseokhan are literally married and i am the most spoiled carat ever) and got in a little disagreement about something menial, and seungkwan thought it was resolved quickly, but afterwards jeonghan was driving them and seokmin put on a song and boo was like “oh what kind of song is this?” as a joke, but seokmin took it personally and got sulky. but then him and jeonghan danced to anysong and honestly who can blame them. it seems like every time he gets in a fight with other members, he thinks about how he doesn’t want it to tear them apart, so no matter how mad he is, he tries to find a way to resolve it. like with the gray bag incident JDHFKJHF he said that he thought if he didn’t pick up the bag, mingyu might hit him. he was mad and thought he was in the right, but he didn’t want the argument to escalate, so he did something he didn’t want to end it where it was. also, when jeonghan went live during seokmin’s live, saying “those who want to watch dokyeom watch him, those who want to watch this watch this,” and seokmin got all sulky about carats saying they wanted to see what jeonghan was up to. he laughed and said he was kidding, but then he was like “i’m not fun anyways.” whiCH leads us to...

infps have chronic inferiority complexes, but they aren’t envious people, so it manifests in just being immensely self critical. seokmin genuinely believes he isn’t handsome. or a good singer. like. what the fuck is that all about. i get genuinely angry when i think about this. i could talk about how fucking WRONG he is but this is just supposed to be a personality analysis so i’ll just mention that i talked about why i think he’s the perfect man alive in another ask! check that out if you want JKFHKSDF he always has negative things to say about himself but only positives to say about others. which makes me wanna fight. he also is maybe too idealistic??? like i said before, he will always see the best in other people, and it leads the rest of the members to genuinely worry about him. they’re worried that if they’re not there to take care of him, he’ll end up getting taken advantage of by someone. they don’t want him to get scammed ㅠㅠ

some other aspects of infp personalities that i think suit seokmin well but i’m literally braindead and cannot write more of this: open minded, passionate, determined, and loyal.

i would marry seokmin in an instant.

[eris0330]

Hiraeth - Nine

☽Pairing☾ ; BTS | Reader

☽Genre☾ ; Angst | Fluff

☽Word Count☾ ; 2.3k

☽Summary☾ Returning back to Korea after years of being under the ground, to see your parents. You wished it was all it took, to feel complete again. The aftermath of confusion, betrayal and sorrow was the reason to never come back into the boys presents. But it wasn’t until, seeing one them enter the same cafe, at the right time.

☽M. List☾ ;  1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11 // 12 // 13 // 14 // 15 // 16 // 17 // 18 // 19 // 20 // 21 // 22 [ongoing]

Yes this is what you have been waiting two weeks for i’m sorry ㅠㅠ

------------

“Okay, are you sure about this?” Chan asked as he entered the new apartment, with open windows showing the sun set behind the blocks. His eyes setting on a view, that he from now on had to get used to. The less decorated walls of nothing, setting an awareness that this weren’t your home, it wasn’t going to be your home. It was merely temporary, when he only saw a white wall in front of him.

When you asked him to get the tickets for BTS’s last winter concert, you knew it would be a hard challenge for him. Ever since you left, the boys became even more popular through the years and the tickets were easily sold out. But, Changkyun had the connections that you lost. It took him a long time to find the right person, but he did it. Fulfilled a task like when you first met, setting each other up like agents. From the first time, he asked you for a favour to prank Wonho, he knew that you were the right one. His destined, partner in crime.

“I am sure.” You replied determent, zipping up your jacket and the significant mask on your face to cover your identity. Even though you had faith that no one would recognise you, not even by the boys as there are too many people around. There was still, an unpleasant feeling in the bottom of your stomach that everything was going to go wrong. But, you wanted to see them. To see them in the light, they have set foot in and ruled the world ever since. Something, that you couldn’t continue despite the support you received.

“Alright then, let’s go…-God damn it. I forgot how annoying this mask is sometimes. Gets too hot easily” You shook your head annoyed, grabbing the tickets and Changkyun following along, kicking himself out of the unfamiliar room. He wanted to see the one you have created memories in.

“When are you ACTUALLY going to meet them, Y/N?” After a while of walking towards the venue, Changkyun couldn’t help the silence scratching his back to speak. The amount of questions, he needed to ask, to feel at peace in his head for a while. He couldn’t imagine what went through your head, when you didn’t speak. Those eyes that were once so warm, replaced with confusion and lost roads. An undying soul that were trapped, but could only find relief in the pitch darkness.

“I don’t know… I try to imagine, what it would be like. But… Nothing comes through.” You muttered, looking ahead of the crowded people piling up at the front. Deciding to wait a while, to see the doors open, you knew there would be going at least twenty minutes before even 15 percent has come through. It was something you always did, watching the fans walk into the venue. The amazement of the people to come by, just to see you. The energy, warmth and chants were everything that could keep your head high and smile to them.

“You need to forgive yourself” Chan blurted out, watching you stand in a daze. Your hands shaking in fear, to gather the courage to watch them. To stand between the ones who have supported you through a screen and their wallet, you needed to thank them, but never did. Instead, you betrayed them.

“Excuse me?” You questioned, raising a brow at him. Taking his own mask on, he stared over the thread of boys and girls, behaving like no other to see their favourite idol. Smiling beneath the white mask, he sighed heavily.

“Forgiveness. I know you probably think you gave up on them, or even worse, betrayal. But Y/N, that’s not how it works. You didn’t betray anyone. It’s hard to explain, but to be forgiven and find courage, you need to forgive yourself. Without forgiveness, you will be stuck. Nowhere to go.”

The aura, changing as the sky with the orange hue, became purple. The breezy air turning colder and your shoulders lighter. Changkyun gave you his soft eyes, like it was nothing but a tiny mistake as a kid. Something in his words, made sense in your head. You blamed yourself for the horrible doings in your life, and for the wrong doings of others. The fear of facing them with the guilt written in your face, was something you’d want to avoid at all costs. But, forgiving yourself, was the first step to erase those words from your forehead. To look forward, and smile.

“Let’s go” You spoke, taking your hand in his as you both followed each other. Clutching tighter to not get lost, to stay where everything felt warm and familiar. Blending in weren’t hard, when it was the seasons of people having a cold. A majority, wore a mask and that way, you looked like any other fan to enjoy their music.

The venue seemed different, the stages has been upgraded. You had almost forgotten, how big it seemed from afar than on stage. To fit eight people, side by side, to dance the routines you have been taught were sometimes harder than it looked. Luckily, Changkyun had found some of the best seats of the concert. The stage, only a few metres away and able to see every angle of the boys without being noticed. The waiting, were a pain. Your legs were shaking, people pushing, anxiety rising in your chest and the forbidden mask becoming hotter by the second. It was like it never started, and that you were suffering on purpose. But, the lights turned off, the army bombs held high and the music starting. It was a beat, so familiar your body moved in an instant. The boys appearing, and their features glowing under the stage light. It was unreal, to see them step around and sing. The faces you remember so well from the dreams you have had, when there was nothing else to do. Their eyes glistering and their voices booming, like the way you remembered. But, their smiles. So blissfully beautiful, yet painful. It wasn’t as you remembered. They looked the same, but the feeling, the joy was gone. It was unfamiliar, that your heart broke watching them. The emotions, the thoughts, the dreams crashing and the heat building. The mask became too much, and taking it off was a necessity. Changkyun became worried, of your sudden outburst. Your body, breaking apart of their smiles fading. Where did it go?

Watching them, for hours of singing, dancing and even talking. Voices deep and calm, yet the smiles didn’t fit like it used to. Their bodies shrinking, and the dark circles underneath their eyes revealed. You understood, like no other. That they were in pain and all could do, was to watch it unfold.

“We hope you remember this, like we do.” Yoongi spoke into the microphone, watching the fans up front with their fancams and army bombs.

“It’s still one of my favourites” Taehyung added, while Jungkook nodded along. Fans cheering, and the music starting. Soon enough, your heart was repaired and destroyed yet again. Spring day, were performed, without you. It wasn’t that you weren’t there anymore, or that your lines were given to someone else. It was the fact, that they still kept your spot in the dance routine free.

The boys never felt it was right, for anyone of them to take it. Your spot, their view. That’s why, whenever they performed spring day, the spot was free. Like the song, no darkness, no season can last forever. You will meet again.

Ending the concert with Changkyun by your side, it was hard to not go behind the stage to hold them tight. So tight, you might have choked them. To feel their presence and let them come to you, like they always did.

“It’s okay. You’ll get to meet them soon enough” Changkyun’s finger brushing away the tears falling on your cheeks, from the pain and love that were untouchable. The memories, the presents were too much for your emotions, to keep at one place. It didn’t occur, that you were crying. Blood shot eyes, and a headache forming as if someone hit it with a hammer. The punishment, for letting it go this far.

“I miss them, so god damn much…” You choked, letting his arms surround you into a warm hug. His chest as broad like the first day you met, coming to him with your problems about Wonho. His heart beating, to soothe your aching cries.

“I know you do, but now is not the right time” He whispered, knowing how desperate you were to meet them. To feel, love and talk to them again like before. But watching you fall down from being far away, outside of their view, he knew you weren’t ready. The forgiveness, you needed to give yourself, before anyone could move towards the right path.

---------

“So, anything tonight?” Jin questioned the youngest, as they both changed attire to something less sticky. The sweat of hard work of performance, and the aching muscles of moving around. Jin promised to help Jungkook with finding you, even if it meant that he had to take hard measures. The other members, were still getting used to it but were afraid, they’d have the same symptoms as Jungkook. Seeing you everywhere, even though they knew you weren’t there.

“Maybe…No…” Jungkook muttered a response, knowing well that the chance you would appear at their concert, were small. It was a tiny hope he had left, wishing you would see him on stage from the chairs beneath. Imagining you were in between the crowd of people, gave him strength to do the best he could. Even if his muscles were screaming, he would do it all, just for you to see.

“Maybe next time Kiddo” Jin encouraged with a pat on the shoulder, knowing what types of disappointment happens when seeing anyone else than you.

“I miss her…” Jungkook whispered, biting on his lip as the shirt were pulled over his head. Jin could only bite his lip, as he tried to pull the best smile for enlighten. “We all do…”

Even though, the concert always gave them a thing to look forward to. The light sticks flashing and waving, to encourage the boys for their hard work. To continue work harder than the day before, for Army.

“Jin, you have a schedule for the cooking show on Vlive tomorrow at 9am” The manager popped a head into the waiting room, catching the older brother’s eyes in the dying room. Nodding for agreement, taking everything with positivity and a smile. The words of cooking, became a drag to him. Jin found less enjoyment in cooking for others, when it wasn’t you. His face faltering and his heart seeking for warmth, while it only became colder by the second. The way you would wait by the kitchen table, watching his every step with care. Complimenting him for his good work and lecture, of how to make the perfect egg roll properly. To spice up the most ordinary dish, giving the kick it needed. You were his personal taste tester, and having you around were the best part of cooking. Now that you’re gone, it didn’t come to him as excitement to start the stove, even open the fridge. But, the things he loved to do the most, was cutting the onions. That way, he had an excuse for the tears running down his cheeks every time. Jin wanted to be strong, to be the one to give the encouraging words to the others. But deep down he knew, it was never easy with the painful heartaches that came with every decision he did. False hope is what they called it now, wanting the proof to know it’s real and get their hopes back.

----------

“I’m taking off!” Jin spoke loudly through the dorm, receiving different responses of a ‘bye’ from the members. Shaking his head with a sigh, he had to prepare himself for the cooking Vlive, knowing that it was something he needed to get over with, or at least try to enjoy with the pain left. Turn it around and try to find the good sides, as you used to say to him.

“Hold on, I think you need to see this. GUYS GET IN HERE” Namjoon yelled as he came out of his bedroom, with Taehyung following from behind. Confused and curious, Jin waited patiently as they all arrived. The boys came out one by one, annoyed and partly tired of the sudden rush of news.

“Did anyone check Twitter recently?” Namjoon asked as they all found place in the living room, to sit beside each other while Taehyung could barely keep his body at ease.

“She’s back” Taehyung blurted mildly ecstatic, while the others could only give a confused expression. Their minds not ready for the news, even though they all had a hint of it. It was just a question, about if they were ready to believe it.

“Just take a look at this” With that, they were all surrounding an IPad. Articles, Twitter, and a Youtube video, showing off a fancam of Hoseok. But, it wasn’t that he did a great job on stage. It was the fact, that Army caught you in the crowd behind them.

“It can’t…can it..?” Jungkook questioned, replaying the video again to see your face appear in the back. It was far away, but his heart told him, that was really you. The others, still in shock and half of them in disbelief. Thinking, you were right there, but no one saw. Every piece of imagination going through their head from last night, that you were watching them doing every move, sing every word and express their emotions on stage. Yoongi caught the slim face and the tears falling from the stage light, when Spring day played. His own heart, beating harder and racing like a panic attack. He wasn’t ready, he isn’t ready.

“…what now?” Hoseok questioned, seated back in the black leather couch. The others sitting with a tense atmosphere, processing the video over and over again. Thinking, would it have turned out differently, if they saw you back then?