#need more content of them theres sm potential

[fishfearer]

girls just wanna have fun

learned that drawing over random things like this i find on pinterest is a great way to cure art block

[capyfroyo]

Does anyone else think that Lloyd going off to fight garmadon in SOG (ep True Potential) is kinda portrayed as a $ulcld3 attempt…

I absolutely love the pacing of this episode, how theres this kinda build up of the ninja realising what’s happening as more and more problems bubble up. There is tension, and there is contrast in this tension. The ninja are all kinda layed back, sureley being aware of the problem, but accepting thats its just a challenge they will need to conquer. Lloyd is so much more wound up when compared to them. This is seen very blatanly in the first few mins of the episode- although his bad mood is shown as a consequence of his “heartbreak” with harumi. I think it is a bit bigger then that. Garmadon is, after all, lloyds dad. He still greives for him. A small part of him still wanted him back- stopping harumi was obviously the right thing to do, but he feels as if there was something that could have been done differently. When lloyd discusses going to the jail to fight garmadon, the rest of the team appose to the idea, and he gives in.

When he betrays the ninja by locking them in a room and going to defeat garmadon (in what seems a cheap form of self-sacrifice) the ninja are obviously trying to stop him. They all know, including lloyd, that he is not going to come out of there healthy, or maybe not even alive. Yet he still goes. Was he blinded by his emotions? This is so out of character for Lloyd, and it only adds to the intensity of the scene. The usually calm, sensible character goes out of their way to do an illogical thing.

When the ninja try to convince him not to go it sounds so….

“Lloyd! What are you doing??”

“im sorry nya..”

“NO! You cant!!”

“Come on lloyd…”

“HEY!! we can talk it over! We’ll figure it out!!”

“Im sorry guys, its something i have to do.”

THE CONCEPT IS SO EDGY BUT IT WOULD MAKES THE EP SM BETTER THAN IT ALREADY ISSSS

Also

The car drive/chase is so well done. The chaotic nature, how Lloyd isnt his carefull, usual self. SCARYY. TO THE POINT OF EVEN BEING DESTRUCTIVE?? SMASHING THE CAR SCREEN?? Also. The dialogue once again.

“Dont do this!!”

“Im not in the mood to talk. This ends. Now.”

“No lloyd, this doesnt end now, its a two way frequency! Come on buddy..”

Lloyds mood shift is so appalling. From how calm he was when his plan was in action, to when it was being sabotaged by the team. IDKK SOUNDS SUSSS.

When he fights his dad, his motive is a bit more clear but still not entirely shown- he thinks he could get his father back. He wants to so bad. He feels as if he could get a piece of himself back, a piece of his old life. “I saved you once, I’ll save you again” He is aware that he can not do it. Garmadon is only oni, only the evil part of who he was. Its as if lloyd would be content to die with his blood on his fathers hands, if it meant he could show that he truly meant to save him. Maybe he was so full of anger and love and hate he didnt know what to do with it but go back to its very origin.

When his fight is at its climax and is broadcast, the music hits is highest note. Then he is blasted through the walls, and everything quiets. The music fades to a low and ominous repeating melody. There is a certain type of shame, disappointment dispersed to the crowd, and the ninja.

It could be. Generic unnecessary sacrifice but the way it’s set up seems like so much moreeeee…

[allhailbrokeloose]

My fandom Beliefs..

never quite understood why ppl need posts like this, but i think i get it now.. its mostly about kpts ofc but i decided to go through other fandoms as well while im at it.. so.. in order to avoid any further awkward interactions and unpleasant surprises here are my preferences and Opinions on controversial topics (that seem completely asinine, yet somehow garner strong opinions). may not correlate with what i post on the daily, but this holds more creditability lol. nothing is negotiable, everything is a subject to Revision bc 1) im unstable lol 2) the more you know..

KPTS: 100% apo, 20% jeff (yeah, i know, math aint mathing but wwyd its love) uhh.. so many sensitive topics, where do i start.. okay.. build: dont care, but some of his fans just happen to be Seriously Horrible vile ppl practicing double thinking like its a religion, so pls DNI jic mile: ,,,dont care,,, but some of his fans just happen to be Seriously Horrible vile ppl practicing double thinking like its a religion, so pls DNI jic (the irony of these two fandoms fighting sm isnt lost on me) bible: dont care, but some of his fans (ROSATURNS) just happen to be PRECIOUS RAYS OF SUNSHINE, SWEET CINNAMON BUNS, THE BESTEST PPL ON THE PLANET 💕 tong: oh boy.. i changed my opinion abt him three times.. hes a sneaky snake for sure, but i still like him, sue me ���‍♀️ ma and bbb fans: like unicorns, check your bias above the rest of the cast: dont care but i sorta like job bc hes toll and gives apo piggybacks lol. oh and annita is super hot and sprite is a queen ot16: yeah no, cmon, its bs, ppl cant even stan two ppl like they mean it you want them to stan 16 ppl at the same time 🙄 props for the effort ofc but even those who try have huge giant biases the size of an elephant family: yeah no its even bigger bs. you know how in commerce theres a rule that 80% of the profit is made by 20% of the products. hope the analogy is clear boc: well we have to give them credit for how kpts turned out, the problems begin when we try to identify the credit for what exactly. imo its adaptation of that trash of a novel + quality of the production, all the rest i attribute to the actors. while giving them credit for that its still clear to me that they are really bad at artist management and smm and are largely Unprofessional. you'll see me cheering on ppl hatin on boc, bc first of all its fun, and second of all i find this hate-hate relationship with the fandom quite beneficial for both parties. BUT like this topic is not hot for me, bc im not sure if any other company currently available in TH BL industry could have done any better. STILL i can see that ppl on tumblr for some reason like to defend boc even when they really really screw up big time, so if you feel the urge to defend them reading this pls DNI pond: dont really care, but his chase for fame is Amusing. and as a ceo all the companys pros and cons are largely on him kpwt: dont really care, if it sells it sells, they seem to be having fun with it. "but its cringe" - i dont think with these categories, if you do not like it, just dont watch it, like i havent seen 50% of it and im like content abt it the novel: its trash daemi: its trash shipping kimchi and/or jeffbarcode: not my cup of tea, but if it floats your boat go right ahead, im not the one to judge what i ship: kp (but its yk.. lukewarm), jeffbible (i honestly believe this is the only sincere rs in the cast regardless of its nature), apo with Happiness (regardless of its form) do i think my faves are perfect: well nope, clearly not, look at their frens cracking r*pe jks like they are being paid for it and we are only being shown the tip of that iceberg. i mean tell me whos your friend.. but i just think that my faves are better than yours 😎 bc yk jks abt age and bad habits (esp based ones) are just jks, jks abt r*pe are never just jks

YR: 97% omar rudberg, 3% malte gårdinger well im not that deep in other fandoms, so just some potentially controversial things off the top of my head wilmon endgame: well ig? otherwise what all of this was for? but honestly idc, if they decide to make it dramatically realistic i would understand second season: yeah no sorry i didnt like it, i watched it and i immediately forgot abt it. all i got out of it is that omar is super hot, which i already was aware abt. its sorta sad bc first season was lifechanging for me and also it was one of the few shows i have actually watched more than once . i will still wait for s03, but my expectations are low shipping edmar: not my thing, but generally its ok in my book if done respectfully (eg dont stalk dont send death threats dont let them see your sexual fantasies abt them etc) nurbo: uhh.. are they still 2gether? anyways idc what i ship: honestly nothing id like omar for myself lol (see there's no need to hate on his real and/or fictional partner in this situation). but omar+malte would be super hottt

TWN: 70% jaskier, 30% yennefer books: didnt read but like i Respect them and i understand that twn is a shit adaptation that missed everything that was possible to miss abt the books lauren: yeah i dont like her shes largely off putting geraskier: yeah i sorta ship it but i use the other half only as a shipping tool for jaskier, like you can replace it with anyone else, i wouldn't even notice (yeah, i know, the irony) blood origin: boring and unnecessary what i ship: geraskier and yennskier, which is groundbreaking bc i dont usually ship het, but its just so delicious honorable mention: you will see me randomly hatin on ciri, bc I JUST DONT LIKE HER LET ME BE

watcher: 50.95% shane, 49.05% ryan my toxic trait is believing that this fandom is drama free (pls forgive me this blissful ignorance) and the only controversial topic is shyan: yes i ship it baby. cmon i think the boys are also into it. in a fun way ofc, not a full on delulu mode. ofc i dont believe that they be casually fucking, but the thought is largely Entertaining. you know its there and if its there its there 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ once again no stalking, death threats, porn where they can see it, keeping it civil 😌

[vanilladrpepper]

SPINS YAYAYAYYAYAYAYYA for sure i think the setting heavily affects the characters and their fears and avatarhood and it ISSSSS really interesting to think abt what they would be in a normal or modern au bc theres just. so much that changes!!!!! buried web midvalley IS smth i will be chewing on . smth about him trying desperately to claw out of the grasp of the ghg being trapped and drowning in his position,.,., wonderful . i am curious abt why it would present in a modern/normal au and how it would manifest for him - stuck in his ways? an unpleasant job? maybe even crime or murder still? it would depend on the rest of the contents of the modern/normal au i think. SIDEBAR WAIT REALLY FUNNY THOUGHT - college trigun tma au (insane combo) . midvalley is stuck as the frat man and he keeps ending up in controversies and investigations due to . well. his frats unfortunate Everything (frats lowkey are buried/web coded. i think his would be a breeding ground for statements and encounters) but hes between a rock and a hard place and it starts to weigh on him more and more and more until bam. avatarhood. AND YEAAAAA the way fear is presented in tma is so interesting i love it sm - especially avatarhood as a coping mechanism its such a tasty concept.

MILLY AND MERYL MY BELOVEDS . god the thoughts of how they couldve ended up with web/hunt in a normal/modern au is sm to think abt hmmmmm ARCHIVIST MILLY AND MERYLLLLL YAS its so good and ok hear me out. even potentially providing an in for the insurance -> journalist pipeline as them shadowing the archivist and working in the library or research maybe?? this could also be a way to incorporate roberto maybe if ur inclined. AND MILLYS INSANE PERCEPTION COMBINED WITH MERYLS UNENDING CHASE AUGH . they continue on and on rallying and going down the path bc they need to see it through to the end even if its dangerous or threatening because They Need The Truth

BURIED WOLFWOODDDDDD YIPPEE god ur so right abt him hes just tunneling deeper and deeper because . wolfwood especially in trimax is so like. his fear of his role, of his and hopelands safety, of vash and knives and the unknown, of his inability to break out of the eom and how hopeless it all seems. like i dont want to say hes defined by his fear bc he has more to his character but its heavily present throughout the narrative to the point that its immensely palpable. it also. of course. points towards volume 10. evoking imagery of grasping hands breaking the earth, fingernails crusted with dirt and grime and grit, the choice of the dice roll he made with the vials - his hail mary to sink deeper, to cement his fate and prepare his coffin. in a modern/normal au id like to think it still follows him somehow in some way - obv connected with however the eom presents in the au i think. sunk cost fallacy wolfwood my beloved

VAST DESOLATION VASHHHHHH . also yes the vast and buried should kiss. and yessssss vast vash is so good hes so incomprehensible and terrifying - thinking of the dragons nest chapters and how he fell and lost control and became. a horror beyond what anyone present really thought they could handle/deal with. and desolation is yea pretty self explanatory as u say. its the horrors persisting over and over, following him like a shadow despite how much he runs, how much he tries to escape it - the desolation has become a part of him as much as any other part of him

ARCHIVIST VASH YES it brings to mind an elias bouchard ass existence but like. vash would be less of an ass i think. hed latch onto trying to mitigate the damage that the institute commits - but he cant get out of it . hes stuck watching, even when he wants to close his eyes, even when he wants to cry and turn away, but he cant, because his guilt drives him to eat his own tail, to become a self fulfilling prophecy, thus in effect keeping the eye and the institute turning because if he is not there to witness, then these people stuck in the throes of misery have no one to treasure their existence or to honor their life. i think a potential way to spin corruption into it might have something to do with knives and . well. the arc (ark? idk how its spelled officially) and potentially also as the unending devotion he sees over the years that gets twisted into violence? ie the people of nml desperate to survive turning towards the idea of kill of be killed (though that might fit some other entities. unsure which though)

EXTINCTION KNIVES yes yes his anger and hatred comes from fear ofc and i dooooo think he for sure thought of himself and vash in teslas position - and the proceeding horrors are a desperate attempt at control in the wake of trauma. his manifestation being trying to change the order hmmmmm yes . its the idea of him going against the grain, the fear of the end, the Complete end and knives switching it on its head and reversing what he believes will happen to him and the rest of the plants onto humanity. smth about being so bone deep terrified of being entirely erased off of existence that youre willing to become it as a sense of self preservation, to ensure survival.

THANK U FOR THE RAMBLEEEEEE YAYAYAYAYAYAY

i see ur tags. rubs my gay little hands together. please discuss ur tma au (also ur writing is superb very evocative we love vash and his uncanny-ness)

I opened the ask while going down the stairs and almost tripped I’m ngl . ANAYYAS. YOU BOTH

IVE JUST BEEN HAVING LIKE. A RANDOM SPUR OF THOUGHTS ABT IT . Abt the possible setting mostly

Okay

Cause like,,, WE HAVE TALKED ABT THIS BEFOR EI REMEMBER YOUR REBLOGS REESE if we’re thinking of the au taking place . A LOT of the characters have high potentials to be slaughter avatars, especially those in the ghg and that’s just. Simply because on no man’s land violence is just expected, especially with a profession they have

So. A more,,, “normal” setting could open for possibilities. Normal as in “modern” even though trigun takes place in some fuck off future far from ours I’m pretty sure😭 Like . Say Midvalley. Slaughter w the guy who plays MUSIC? ANDDD USES IT FOR VIOLENCE? That’s a pair baby!!

Put him in a relatively safer world where the ghg aren’t a group of assassins but something else. maybe they don’t even exist. Where he’s just some guy.

The way we view fear in tma is somethjfn to think abt, heavy on avatarhood here, I like to think of it as like,,, fear has dug it’s claws into you, has become you / one with you / overtaken you whatever, and now you have to live with it, and the avatarhood is how you cope with that, what you choose to do with this fear . Does that make sense. a mark is the trauma be it physical or mental, and Becoming is wielding it, maybe accepting it intimately

So, say. Back to Midvalley right. What do we know of him other than this violence. That he was a killer way before the ghg. What other than the slaughter. We have widderwally nothifn

WHICHHH IS WHY ITS SUCH. A THING TO THINK ABT! On a setting that isn’t no man’s land, and a “modern”/“normal” setting that doesn’t involve the ghg being assassins, what can he be! What can any of the characters be! What can we take from their character and personality and gauge a fear that could be their drive that doesn’t stem from survival! (I think buried web Midvalley might be cool tbh . no I can’t elaborate)

Milly and Meryl being eye-hunt is. Well. Points at them and their entirety. Mostly to me is that what they do well, but I really want to think about what could’ve made them become, does your main fear have to be the thing. What am I saying

Like mike. Our pal mike crew our buddy our chummy guy. He was mainly hunted by the Lichtenberg spiral figure right. Like yes he was struck by the vast but . Gragh I hate that they’re categorized like that when they are technically one

Also. Snort. Janemike appearance

Anyways . I lost the plot in my head ERM

Milly and Meryl being eye hunt …. They can be archivists. Together. As a treat I think. Imagine them being archivists in any setting pspsps

They both are witness to the various bullshit on Vash’s journey, have seen sorrow, pain, enlightenment, god knows what, destruction. They have also seen happiness, comfort, calmer times. Rare as it can be. They’ve seen secrets shared histories laid bare they’ve made themself present for a LOT. witness . eye. yk. does any of this make sense. also fits w their reporter occupations

the hunt part,,, well. they’re constantly on a trail, right . constantly chasing after a target (cough) . And that could be played into the eye’s tendency and urge to know, but their synchronicity i think is also important,,, they’ve got each other’s backs and know this, able to cover up where one falls short (like that time! W that guy who straight up tried to kill vash! And Meryl was held at gunpoint very unimpressed then Milly shoots her stun gun!) Peas in a pod, a pack, stronger in number. That kind of thing!

Also because. I think Milly’s scary perception CAN BE A THJNG. IT SHOULD BE. PELASE. and her monthly (POINTS AT YOU REESE)!!! Little reports, documentations . In a way!!! ya know!!

whichiswhyeyehuntissuchacombo.ok.itslikeapackagedeal

okay buried wolfwood. Loud wheezing

Once again, if we throw away the eom and ghg. Wolfwood would grow up relatively . Aight. to just Be some guy . All of these characters could! Without the constant fight for survival and constant high stakes most of not all of them would straight up just. Chill. Mostly. Probably. Idk. They literally could have the potential to be marked by ANYTHING and become avatars of ANYTHING at that point. Maybe. IDK

Buried wolfwood … burdened and chained down by fear, by his mission, drowning in the sticky river of the blood of his targets … he plays the devil. yk. while his heart cries out. his shoulders are heavy with a role a mask a title he does not want but his feet are planted firmly on the stage he has been set on . Boxed in. Midvalley and Hoppered went against their role, and they ended up. Well. Not well! He knows he’s stuck

The Punisher weighs on him, his sins, his wrong doings, all the things that he fiercely believes can’t be redeemed, and he doesn’t try to claw his way up and off and out the stage, he lets himself sink deeper into it, clings onto it even, because if he does otherwise, then. What else does he have, right?

Buried because HOOOWEEE I think buried mark works well for him, and Buried because being an avatar of the buried works. Vibes I’m going off vibes I’m afraid. I also really love the buried SHOUTOUT TO FOREVER DEEP BELOW CREATION THE TOO CLOSE I CANNOT BREATHE I LOVE YOUUU

And now that he’s been dragged even deeper because of his mission to escort vash. Yea. He knowsss there isn’t an outttt of this . He’s deep in both his belief, and his torment . I need to furiously throw something at him

VAST DESOLATION VASH TIME EVERYONE HEAR ME OUT. OKAY

wow we’ve gone from “I’ve been thinking abt the setting” laid back leaning against my pillow to “OKAY CHARACTERS” locking in leaning forward I’m

Again. It would be silly to think abt how not having factors like the general plot of the manga or being put in a normal setting would change what avatar he could be . Because w/o finding out about Tesla, the story wouldn’t have been as it is right

But like. It is what it is so. What is it. Take a shot everytime I say is. That’s another shot

The vasts whole gig involves the fear of insignificance, of falling, of areas or things you can’t quite navigate or comprehend, of heights, depth, infinity, the ocean, the open waters. right. Idk I’m like constantly cross referencing the wiki for both tma and trigun LMAOO I think the buried and vast should kiss (grabs vw

The way characters reacted to vash being pseudo immortal —

Oh my god I’ve been typing for an hour. Okay. This isn’t even much I’ve straight up just sat there staring blankly at my phone doing nothing except moving to type for an hour okay

Right. When faced with something whose entire being is just so unknown, so incomprehensible to you, you can’t help but just . Feel sorta insignificant right . Cant help but wonder and think . Vash has that effect. To me. People who know of his true nature can’t even begin to fathom what he has seen, what he has lived through, what exists far beyond the scope of their human lives. His entire existence can’t be fully explained in words, experiences and memories simply too. badumtsh vast

ialsothinkthatarchivistvashwouldgoHARDletstalkabtthat

ARCHIVIST VASH. HEAAAR ME OUT. he’s literally a walking record of times past, of the history of gunsmoke . His instinctive goofy act and downplay of literslly everything about him, the fear of being perceived in ways that could possibly be used and turned against him rihjt.

He has encountered man at their highest and low, has been witness to achievements, to starts and to ends of all kinds of multitudes, has been the canvas to slaughter, has been the focus of eyes, the target of hunts, buried by the ideals he sworn to live by (WHICH . NOW THJNK ABOUT HIM KILLINF LEGATO. NOW.), he’s seen the darkest sides of the planet and man seen what lurks in the shadows, masters escaping because of the situations that became too much, finds himself on the brink of spiral and clutches onto that brink, walked a long lonely road as people come and inevitably go, found himself stuck in a web that he spun and that others spin, has found himself surrounded by destruction, desolation, the fear of his own flesh, of his own body, idkhowtoworkcorruptionintothis, the uncertainty of his own existence, an oddity, jsut soemthinf off, uncanny valley in a sea of faces,

OR SOMETHINF. I DONT KNWO

okay kicks archivist vash off the table back to vast desolation

The desolation part o think js. Pretty self explanatory. He is grief and destruction, is literally called the humanoid typhoon, diablo. Surrounding him is nothing close to semblance of peace and safety , the trail he leaves behind is naught but that of loss, promises of vengeance. Ig. Yk. Shrug emoji

Vash’s staunch pacifist nature clashes against this . Colossal all encompassing force that is him . Nuclear baby or whatever. I need to shut up

. Extinction knives ….

I’m running out of typing juice GELP

Knives’ actions that led to the great fsll is. Without the great fall plants would’ve probbalt not been exploited to the extent they were because people wouldn’t have been forced to run them to the ground while they scramble for survival on a planet as gunsmoke

In a way, the “end/extinction” of his plant kin was caused by him. which. is

right so we agree that knives anger and hatred comes from fear right. Like. It’s how he copes. What he chooses to do with this fear. channels it into a weapon

The discovery of Tesla ,,, do you think after waking up he thought about seeing vash in that pod . Or seeing his withered crumbling body broken into pieces through eyes that float outside his skull.

So. To protect those he love from that fate, he has to erase the other factor from the equation right. Change the outcome. Drastically

The great fall was a sharp veer off course for humans, and what follows is scrambling for order

Knives embodies the extinction by trying to change that order. I thjnk . Yk. I’m. Okay I’m actually out of juice my brain is slow like. Like molasses dripping off a spoon (said in Tommy Coolatta’s voice)

Team rocket is blasting off aga💥

[rescue-ram]

hello pleaseeee i need to know all ur thoughts on bunny/andrew i literally saw the one post u had on them yearsssss ago and i became so invested with the possibilities and i think ur the only other person who is also invested in it? literally every other person ive talked to about the charioteer doesn't get it like not really and theres no content dor ot out there zero nothing idk i think it has sm potential but ig no one else sees it (i think i might be kinda out of it rn bc im just realising this sounds a bit insane but god. i rlly do want to talk about andrew/bunny with wnother person)

Oh my GOD HELLO!!!

So fair warning I am going to go absolutely bananas at you because I have zero faith in my ability to be coherent about this ship, but PLEASE let me know your thoughts on Bunny/Andrew, they started as a laugh but now they're the OTP and I would love to know your thoughts

(Me explaining the layers of Bunny/Andrew)

So insane statement number one: what I love about Bunny and Andrew is how dialectical they are. Pure perfect yin yang of a couple, mirror images in every way.

While Ralph and Andrew are often described this way, I don't think that's entirely accurate- they are actually extremely similar characters, both physically (blonde, light eyed) and in bearing, both are 19 when Laurie first kisses them. But where Andrew is young and seemingly untouched by life's troubles (SEEMINGLY, he is very much touched), his clear eyed pragmatism becomes cynical pessimism in Ralph, who's been beaten, isolated, and damaged.

Where Andrew and Ralph are continuous, bleeding into each other in Laurie's narrative, Andrew and Bunny are polar opposites. Andrew is not consciously gay, pure, virtuous, honest to a fault. Bunny is overtly self-consciously gay, indulgent, gossipy, mean spirited, totally willing to fight dirty. If Andrew is untouchable, Bunny is getting his handprints all over him. And the way they come together!! Although Andrew and Laurie have kissed and begun to talk about things, it's Bunny storming up to Andrew and yelling "I FUCKED YOUR CRUSH WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT" that really makes it real, that brings blood into it. Andrew awakens to his sexual identity through his love for Laurie, but it's jealousy of "Ralph"/Bunny that pulls the trigger!

Just excerpting the part of Andrew's letter that deals directly with Bunny's interaction with him.

I want you to know it is true if he says that when I hit him it wasn’t even self-defense. There is a belief, which I expect he shares, that a pacifist who has behaved like this must see at once his ideas were wrong. I should have thought there could hardly be a better way of proving they were right. But if that were all I had to tell you, of course I could have written days ago.

...Well, about Ralph. He isn’t like I imagined, so I found it hard to picture you and him as great friends. When he told me it was much more than that, I felt—I don’t know a better way of expressing this—as if I’d had an anonymous letter. I got one once, after my Board. It is like something from another world, but it has touched you, and the touch is real. So then he said why did I pretend to be shocked when I was only jealous; and that was when I hit him.

He didn’t hit me back, he just laughed and walked off. He had a right to. I knew before he was even out of sight that there could be only one reason for what I did. What he had said about me was true. He wanted to see what I would do, I suppose, and I did what he expected. But it taught me something. The thing you want to kill is really in yourself. That is why people become cruel in war, because they are doing what I did.

Screaming, howling, recognition of the self through other, etc. Me fighting the sleepies to elaborate on these thoughts, that essentially come down to the lack of animus Andrew holds towards Bunny, despite everything, and the insight suggested here that Bunny's bad behavior is driven more by jealousy, fear, and loneliness then malice.

Anyway anyway ANYWAY the insane Andrew Epic I AM still working on it WILL be done one day has really come to focus on Bunny/Andrew in resolving what does it mean to be faithful?

Ok, so starting at the beginning of the outline- Andrew is working as a stretcher bearer in London during the Blitz. He runs into Bunny, who he still thinks is Ralph, and attempts to reconcile with him. Bunny is still bitter and heartbroken, and continues messing with him, ultimately culminating in Andrew losing his virginity in a very awkward hook up Andrew is wrestling with the very serious question I will purposefully phrase humorously, "How do I have gay sex in a god honoring way?" and Bunny is driven absolutely apoplectic by the perceived hypocrisy of this, and by Andrew continuously coming back to him no matter how catty he gets. As they start to build a real relationship, Bunny starts to realize he's in too deep and worries if he reveals he's not really Ralph Lanyon, Andrew will leave him.

There is a LOT of middle plot I have outlined and partially written- Andrew goes on the front lines with the ambulance service as he writes about and loses contact with Bunny for a time (Bunny gives him a whole song and dance about censors and military intelligence, rather than trying to explain why he can't address letters to Ralph Lanyon), they reconnect after the war and try and make a go of it, but it gets way to real and intense for Bunny, who gets skittish and walks out without telling Andrew anything. Andrew freaks out, fearing that "Ralph" has been arrested or killed, and encounters homophobia when he tries to file a missing person report on his "roommate". After talking with Dave, he goes to serve in a mission hospital in Kenya (fun facts, there are more Quakers in Kenya then anywhere else in the world, and I am actively debating how much to get into about the late colonial atrocities that occured there at this time period).

In 1950ish, Andrew once more runs into Bunny, and is so relieved to see him alive and well that it shocks Bunny, who assumed he'd be furious if they ever saw each other again. Bunny successfully dodges questions, continuing to pass himself off as Ralph- at first justifying it to himself by saying he doesn't want to ruin Andrew's relief or his memories, that he wants to let him down gently this time, etc, but he keeps putting off either breaking off with him or telling him the truth because he likes the escape from being himself, likes the way it feels to be loved by Andrew, tries to pretend he's not in love himself. Bunny is genuinely frustrated by Andrew's increasingly public role as a peace/nuclear disarmament activist, the potential scrutiny it could attract, the judgment he feels compared to Andrew's high moral standards, etc. Andrew is genuinely annoyed with "Ralph"'s caginess, his refusal to commit or meet Andrew's friends or introduce Andrew to his, etc.

In 1960, something genuinely bad happens to Bunny- he's outed in some way and is arrested/fired, I'm working out the details. He has nothing left but the half-life he's been maintaining with Andrew. At this point it comes to a head, and Andrew finds out the truth. He's initially completely broken by the news and is heartbroken and furious that the man he's been in love with for almost 20 years has never once told the truth, has never even told him his name... But then. The reframe. Andrew has always expected things from Bunny, but Bunny just wanted Andrew to be himself. Andrew has been living his own life, regardless of how it made Bunny feel, while Bunny willingly gave up his entire identity to be with Andrew. Is Andrew a hypocrite, or does he love Bunny unconditionally, regardless of who he is or what he's done? Who is really the faithful one, Andrew who has only ever had one lover, or Bunny who kept coming back, trusting in Andrew even though he had no reason to?

As Andrew tries to articulate this, Bunny things he's given his lover a nervous breakdown and sticks him in the bath with a glass of whiskey and calls Alec to calm him down.

At that point they're able to have a real, honest relationship. Andrew brings Bunny to the meeting and comes out- he gets disfellowshipped for his troubles, but takes it sanguinely because "God knows I love you." The notoriety he gets here puts him in touch with "like-minded" Quakers, I have a reconciliation between them, Ralph, and Laurie, it'll be cozy.

But yeah, these are all the thoughts about Bunny/Andrew I can gather tonight. Normal people project normal trauma onto their blorbos, I've got an unpublished word doc that is half gay sex half narrativized commentary on the Letter to the Romans 😂

But please please PLEASE let me know your own thoughts- the TLDR about all this blathering is I love the contrast between Andrew and Bunny, the potential for drama, and how Andrew in canon is most himself when faced with adversity and the natural challenges Bunny would bring would depend and mature his character, while I think Andrew could be an affectionate, patient lover who could be really good for Bunny's insecurities. What do you think could draw these two together??

(Also I headcanon Bunny's name is Barnaby Botts. Horrible name he refuses to go by, Barnaby shortens to Barney shortens to Bunny, AND I initially picked Barnaby just for the connection to Bunny but then I remembered if means the son of comfort or in Greek son of the Paraclete and the part of my brain responsible for drawing insane religious parables all over these two had a field day with that.)

[panlight]

the premise of the vegetarian diet is fundamentally silly. just get a halal butcher in on the secret. boom, all the blood you need and it fulfills the spirit of vegetarianism because all of those animals would be killed either way. realistically idk if a devout muslim butcher would give away blood to be consumed but theres all kinds of people and i bet the cullen's could find a butcher willing to part with animal blood.

they just dont want to. theyd rather hunt recreationally.

I suspect this goes back to SM's own kind of lack of imagination on this. She's not really here for the vampire stuff, she's never been interested in the genre before having this dream, so she's not delving into it all that much. "I don't want them to kill people, oh they can drink animal blood!" and then there's that bit about predators taste better and I honestly think that's as far as she went with it.

Because, yeah, you can buy animal blood from a butcher. Animal blood is used in recipes around the world, so as long as you had several butchers and didn't buy like, overwhelming quantities at once from the same one, you could probably get away with it, and would be a more ethical, less violent way to be a vegetarian vampire.

There's also the idea they could go a True Blood route and like, use all their endless time and advanced degrees to develop a synthetic blood that satisfies the thirst. I guess you could argue this might not be possible if there's some magical quality to 'living' blood (the Life Force), but she's said her vampires are more science than magic so it should be doable.

All that said, there might be something to physically hunting that is important to them. I tend to think at this point Carlisle would probably be content bringing a thermos of blood from the butcher with him everywhere versus hunting, but he's a lot older than the rest and has super compassion, so it could be he's just over the thrill of the hunt and it's more of a chore than anything.

But for the others it might be a way to control their vampire instincts by giving into them, to let off steam. To have fun--Emmett seems to enjoy 'playing with his food.'

Again, though, I think the fandom thinks about this a lot more than SM did. Hunting was used more as a plot device ("Hmm I need to get so and so out of the picture for awhile, oh I can say they are hunting!) and we only actually see hunting a few times in the series. SM wanted the angst of "oh I'm a monster" but beyond that she just wasn't that into the vampire stuff which is a shame because as usual there's so much potential there. Like, take Esme. She's so warm and loving, so does she feel bad for killing animals? But she also grew up on a farm--so does killing animals for food sort of feel 'normal' to her and a circle-of-life kind of thing. Does she refuse to kill animals who might be mothers? Does she kill predators to protect prey species, or she trying to keep the animal population in balance? Who knows, we never see her hunting or even hear about her preferences because SM seems to barely remember that Esme is a vampire most of the time.

[flooffybits]

To Risk It All

Idol: Kim Taeyeon (Girls’ Generation)

Request: Yes

Anon: hi! you're one of my fave writers & i want to say that im absolutely in love w/ your works! can i request a taeyeon scenario wherein she tries her best not to let the public know abt their relationship because she doesn't want ppl hating on s/o that they can't even enjoy a simple date outside? s/o was fed w/ it so they got into an argument? tae eventually apologized & took it upon herself to reveal their relationship to the public? im sorry if this is very detailed btw :( i hope it's okay!

Author's note: theres no need to apologize! detail is actually really nice because it makes writing the story better

Years of being under the spotlight has given the idol a lot to learn. After being harassed from dating a junior, being bashed for a member being kicked out of their group, and losing a friend where she was forced to hide her own depression, she’s learned how privacy would always be intruded by many.

At first, she didn’t want to think too much into the relationship she had with you. You were someone she met at some cafe, as cliche as it sounded. She accidentally poured her drink all over your shirt and she ended up apologizing profusely and insisting to buy you a new shirt.

She found comfort in you for the little time you spoke when picking out a shirt. You knew who she was, yet you treated her like a regular person, something she’s been wishing for in a long while. When she realized that you were someone she could talk to, she asked for your number and if it was okay to meet again without the accident, and you happily agreed.

When she started to fall for you, her fear started coming back, too.

She had to be professional about it, but she also didn’t want to lose you. So she kept those feelings down and tried to be as normal as possible around you, though she couldn’t help it when butterflies would swarm inside her stomach whenever she saw you and how the world seemed brighter when you smiled or laughed

It put her at ease.

So one night, she thought that maybe it would be okay to just be herself around you and her feelings poured out of her like a waterfall. It would have been alright if you rejected her, that would have been much easier. But instead, you initiated the kiss right after she told you and all things came flying out the window.

You weren’t too bothered with having to keep the relationship a secret and she appreciated that. She could just enjoy her time with you in private.

But not all things last forever since two years after, Dispatch decided to come and ruin her life once more. There have been some pictures of the two of you, but your faces were always covered due to Taeyeon’s request. It kept you protected and even if people noticed her, they wouldn’t know who was with her.

“I know, Tae. I just wished we could do something else.” You sighed while you sat on the couch, fingers running through your hair whilst she crossed her arms, lips pursed together. “We can but... just not now. It’s too risky.” She says and you know because you’ve already heard this before.

The conversation has been reoccurring, much more now with Dispatch keeping a close eye on her.

It irritated you.

Yes, you knew that this was going to happen when you first started seeing each other. But you didn’t think that you would nearly be on house arrest just for it. It felt suffocating and restraining and it wasn’t healthy, to either of you.

“Then why don’t we just tell them. At least that way, we don’t have to keep hiding.” Her head whips to you, looking at you as if you had grown a second head. “Y/n, the reason I don’t want us going out is that they don’t find out.” She emphasizes and it doesn’t help your frustration.

“Then what are we supposed to do? Even coming here is risky for you because everyone knows you don’t live her. If people saw you, that’s it. And then what?” You finally snapped. “I can’t go out to see you, we can’t be seen together, then what’s the point?” Your words made her heart rate rise. It was scaring her because it sounded like there was only one way out of this, if she chose not to come clean.

“I’ve told you, I’m doing this to protect you.” She breathes out and you stare at her with a frown, doing your best to stay calm with the situation you were both in. “I don’t need you to protect me, Tae. I am more than capable of handling myself.” You tell her, voice lower compared to your outburst earlier.

“I don’t want them to start sending you hate or threats. I don’t want them to suddenly walk up to you and potentially hurt you. You mean too much to me for that to happen and I can’t forgive myself if something bad happened to you because of me.” Tears were threatening to come from her eyes, but she didn’t want to let them out. “If you do, then you would have enough faith in me and our relationship than the fear of what everyone else will say or do.” You reason, standing up and then walking towards the bedroom.

Taeyeon was left in the living room, staring quietly at the spot you once occupied and let out a deep breath. She had to run her fingers through her hair, doing her best to brush her exhaustion and anxiety away. This was one of the things she wanted to avoid, yet here she was.

Looking at the bedroom, she chewed on her lower lip before she shook her head and walked inside. With a quick look at you, back to her with the blankets pulled up to your chin, she slipped in behind you, doing the same and curling up under the covers.

..

The next day was a little calmer compared to last night. When Taeyeon woke, she saw that you were already awake and had breakfast prepared, though after a little panic of waking up alone in bed.

Sometime during the night, you both ended up tangled together, bodies close, without realizing. And when you woke up, that was the same position you were in. It made your chest tighten because as much as you wanted to keep this relationship going, it was too tiring for both of you.

"Good morning." Her voice was gentle, careful as she entered the dining room and sat down while you offered her a small smile. "Good morning." You greeted back while taking a sip of your coffee.

There was a pause and you both have to admit that this was one of the most awkward breakfasts you've ever had. Neither of you could look each other in the eyes, and neither knew what to actually say. But thankfully, her phone rang and stole her attention away, and judging by the grimace on her face, you could only guess who it was and what it was about.

“Go ahead. I’m going to work, soon.” You tell her, picking at your food since you didn’t really have the appetite to eat anything and Taeyeon bit her lip. “Y/n, I’m really sorry about last night but I will fix this. I promise.” She tells you, reaching for your hand to give it a squeeze and you try not to sigh and give her a weak smile. “Okay.”

Taeyeon left your place with hesitance. She drove all the way to SM, thinking about what could possibly happen and what she could do. She didn’t want to keep hurting you like this, it was unfair. And then your words from last night echoed in her head when she got to the parking lot.

Staring at the wheel, her hands went loose before dropping to her lap. She had to take a minute and actually think of this whole thing. If she kept hiding you away, these fights would only keep on escalating and the risk of losing you was slowly rising, too. But if she did come forward and told everyone, the possibility of them hurting you scared her beyond belief, but you convinced her that you were capable of protecting yourself and she knew firsthand that you could.

It was just a battle between her own fears and she wasn’t sure which side she would be taking. Glancing at her phone, she sees the picture she took of you when you were sound asleep next to her.

Looking at it now, she knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with you. It was just something she hasn’t told you yet.

At that moment, she grabbed her things and finally exited her car to go and get this meeting over with, her head held high as she steeled her resolve. She wasn’t losing you. That, she was certain of.

..

Coming home after a tiring day, you kicked your shoes off before dragging your body over to the bedroom, dropping your keys on the counter as you passed, but your hand stopped mid air when you saw Taeyeon sitting on a chair, wringing her hands together. When she finally looked up to meet your gaze, she gave you a smile before standing up.

“You’re back.” She breathed out and you blinked in confusion, slowly putting your hands on the table while she bit her lip and then carefully handed her phone to you, an article pulled up that was dated today, published just a few hours ago. “What’s this?” You ask hesitantly and she just gives you a pleading look.

You look down, immediately seeing the picture of your girlfriend but was quickly followed by the one you were both in and you already felt your breath hitch in. After a quick glance at her, you let yourself read the contents of the article, slowly feeling your muscles grow less tense when you saw that Taeyeon had confirmed the rumors of her seeing someone.

“You...” You choked out while putting her phone down and she let out a breath. “I thought about what you said and... you were right, that I shouldn’t let other people control how my life goes.” She looks at you, her eyes shining as she reaches for your hand like she did that morning.

Taeyeon has endured so much throughout her career, but all the hardship brought her to where she is now. It was what brought her to you and she believes that maybe this is what life planned out for her. With a steady gaze, she squeezes your hand. “I want to be with you. I want to live the rest of my life with you.”

Your eyes softened as you took in her form. Your girlfriend was truly an admirable person and you just wanted to take all that suffering away from her. But it also moved you how she was willing to tell people that she was dating again even after what happened before. But the last bit made you freeze while analyzing her features, trying to see a sense of doubt, but there was none.

She stared at you with nothing but certainty and love and it was enough for you as you pulled her into you and pressed a long kiss against her lips, one she happily accepted with her arms wrapping around your neck.

You would both be okay, even through the hate. She had always been afraid, but now she was more than willing to risk this career. Because unlike this, you gave her a sense of comfort and security.

She would be damned if she gave that happiness up.

[thicceon]

My Final Views on Pokémon Sword & Shield

There’s my Trainer! Isn’t she lovely? Anyways, this is a game I had so many strong feelings about, so I feel like jotting this down so I can give it a lil’ bit of closure.

The National Dex

This was perhaps the game’s greatest controversy leading up to release, so I want to give my thoughts on this first. I don’t mind the absence of the National Dex as long as it improves the game all around. I think it’s an okay decision moving forward. However, in these games you can tell half the existing Pokémon were cut just to save time in order to meet a holiday release, not to actually improve the game.

Presentation

The game makes a powerful first impression. The campaign’s strongest moments are probably the first couple hours. The narrative really caught my attention in the beginning and I felt SUPER hyped for my first few gym battles. The story’s climax is also pretty exciting. Game Freak did step up to the plate where it counted most, fortunately. 

Gameplay

The game is bare, short, and vapid. Halfway through it’s REALLY apparent how rushed the game is. You end up zooming through tiny routes that feel more like hallways than anything, and only have a couple Trainers in them. Most “cities” are smaller than the ones in Red & Blue. There is a town that’s literally just a corridor with a Pokémon Center and outdoor gym. This is also one of the coolest cities in the game, so seeing that wasted potential is very frustrating. 

The NPCs feel lifeless and have nothing interesting to say. I don’t see anyone else talking about this! The NPCs in BW, XY, and SM actually had some very entertaining dialogue once the tutorial stuff was out of the way, whether it was hilarious, straight-up weird, or genuinely thought-provoking and insightful. Everyone feels so...boring.

The Wild Area is...rough. It looks horrid. However, it’s still where I had the most fun in the game. It’s a great concept and I think Game Freak had a decent first go at creating an open world Pokémon experience. It wasn’t a particularly fun place to explore per se, but it was enthralling just to be able to control the camera and go where I please. Being able to see glimpses of other players here is also a wonderful addition, and something I’ve wanted from the series for a while. All in all, this area has a delightful MMO feel to it. Raids are also very fun! It’s great to have a co-op feature to play with friends, and the rewards and rarity of Gigantamax forms gives you a good reason to do them!

There are many wonderful QoL features in this game. Pokémon’s UI experience has never been smoother. There's one rather large caveat though, which is the online experience. It’s nonsensical not to include a friends list for easy trading and battling with your pals, and most of the time the stamp system just doesn’t work. It’s extremely frustrating, but sigh it’s workable.

I also must say that I hate the Exp. All being baked into the game. The feature itself is not the problem, it’s the fact that I have literally no way of turning it off, despite previous games allowing you to. This was borderline game ruining for me, as it killed any sense of satisfaction I felt leveling my Pokémon. It genuinely felt like the game was raising my Pokémon for me. Yeah, not for me.

The post-game is practically non-existent. There’s a lifeless husk that qualifies as a Battle Tower of sorts, but that’s all you’ll find, Champ. But of course, this has become standard for modern Pokémon games.

Graphics 

The Wild Area looks very shoddy, however, the rest of the game looks genuinely beautiful! The overworld textures are poor, and this is not a high-fidelity game by any means, but the general art direction and colors are gorgeous. The new Pokémon have nice models, and the older ones have greatly improved textures. The cities all look distinct and lovely. However, the pop-in of NPCs is very apparent and feels jarring. I can tolerate a little pop-in, but this draw distance is short enough where I will just about hit NPCs that appear before my eyes while biking.

Pokémon still lack battle animations that are even comparable to the Stadium games. _That’s _the type of stuff that should be improved by cutting Pokémon.

Soundtrack

The soundtrack is decent and has its own flare. There are a few standout tracks, my favorite being the Slumbering Weald at the beginning. Gym battles have a great chanting effect that really adds to the atmosphere. My biggest complaints are that a few of the city themes are weak, and theres a real lack of route themes. 

Story

It feels rushed and empty, like everything else in the game. Conceptually I think it’s pretty strong, and as I said before, the climax is great. However, the story beats leading up to the climax are hilariously rushed and character’s actions begin to make zero sense. You also visit areas that were so obviously meant to be dungeons, but were condensed into single rooms. One significant scene didn’t even get a proper cutscene and was instead told via a slideshow that looked like screenshots of the models painted over. 

As for the characters, I’m extremely disappointed with how underdeveloped the main villain was, despite him having an intriguing, and surprisingly contemporary motive. I was also bummed out that Marnie, a rival advertised as being significant, had practically no story relevance whatsoever. Team Yell also was very underutilized. 

Hop was okay; decently developed. Bede is probably my favorite rival in the series since Cheren. I’m one of those people that’s been complaining for a decade about how we haven’t had a jerkass rival since Johto, and I’m very pleased to finally have one again. His arc is also solid, though a bit under-explored.

Leon was good. It’s rare for the series to tell us who the Champion we’re fighting is before it’s time to tango with them. It was nice to see him have a presence throughout the entire game, and it was interesting to see the types of responsibilities a Champion has, such as protecting the region and...signing endorsement deals.

Closing

Yeah, the game is okay. It’s not a masterpiece. It’s not a train wreck. Just okay. It’s very apparent that it was meant to be so much more though, and that’s frustrating. It feels like even 6 more months could’ve made a world of a difference. I don’t believe Game Freak is lazy. I don’t believe they’re incompetent. However, I do think the yearly release schedule of Pokémon games really hampers the potential of not only the games, but the developers.

But perhaps that’s just what we have to accept from such a juggernaut IP. Sword & Shield is about the quality you’d expect from most MCU movies, or those live-action Disney remakes. It’s solid, and it’s the standard fun you’d expect from the property, but it lacks any depth. 

But I can’t really bring myself to call it a step back for the series. It does its fair share of things better than XY and SM, even if if those two games are much fuller experiences. Right, this is a decent first real entry for the main series into the home console market. However, it’s still nothing compared to the sheer breadth of content available in the GBA or DS games.

But this game signified to me that the “golden age” of Pokémon is really gone for good. Sword & Shield was never concerned about living up to those titles though. Gaming has changed. Gamers have changed. And thus, Pokémon has changed. Most games aren’t intended to last you the better part of a year now, unless they’re a live multiplayer service with consistent updates.

As a veteran superfan that's been absolutely enamored by the franchise since before I could even read, I’ll admit that I find it a bit of a challenge to judge Pokémon games on their own individual merit, rather than against the now substantial catalogue that makes up the legacy of the series. Sword & Shield isn’t worried about living up to the past, it’s a step towards the future, clumsy as it may be. However, that future is still going to need some more substance to it before I can consider it a bright one.

[lovelesswiki]

Post-Moonless predictions— Well-Kept Secrets (6/10)

previous part<–[here] –> next part

for the last week or so, i’ve been talking about a large theory i’ve been writing. since finishing it, i’ve decided to publish it in parts, since it’s actually about 10 different theories all on one subject. since it’s all written out, i’ll try to be publishing one part of this per day.

essentially, this is a set of theories about what i believe will have to happen in order to properly lead up to a climax–the one we’ve been building up to for years and years now. so, these are what i theorize will happen after the first moonless vs beloved battle, broken up into ten different parts. each theory is explained and theres images for each one.

table of contents (bolded is the post you’re looking at):

moonless and beloved will rematch (1)

soubi will fall into a deep depression and possibly become suicidal (2)

ritsuka will arrive at seven voices, SM’s activity will be revealed (3)

SM will reveal that there was a mole in their organization (4)

kio will be the one to take ritsuka to goura (5)

ritsuka will find things out about soubi and the aoyagi family (6)

SM’s true purpose will be revealed. ritsuka will have to make a decision about good vs evil (7)

seventh SM member will be revealed (8)

nagisa will find out what really happened to sanae (9)

ritsuka will be asked to join SM to fill the aoyagi seat (10)

Theory: soubi keeps secrets well for many reasons, but now that he’s gone, they’re going to have to come to light, and ritsuka will find out more about him and his own family, forcing him to realize just how strong and terrible seimei’s hold over soubi is.

Note: this theory heavily discusses the topic of rape in terms of soubi being both the victim and the perpetrator and in terms of nisei’s rape of mikado. proceeding with caution is advised. 

we’ve already been a little bit introduced to this. or, should i say, ritsuka has been a little bit more introduced to this.

soubi keeps secrets from ritsuka. soubi keeps secrets that he has not explicitly been told to keep. ill write up another post someday about this, but i suspect that soubi keeps secrets about his past from ritsuka because seimei already knew all those secrets and used them against him, and he thinks that not telling them to ritsuka will prevent them from hurting, so he can just ignore his past and pretend like it never happened. this actually isnt uncommon in people who have been through constant abuse, and it makes sense why soubi hasn’t told ritsuka (or anyone) anything yet.

not even kio or natsuo and youji seem to know about soubi’s complete past, involving mainly ritsu’s treatment of him, but also involving what soubi did under seimei’s rule. it is pretty clear from the angry, verbally violent way that he responds to tokino with that he did some pretty terrible things under seimei’s rule. when tokino implies that like nisei, it was soubi’s job to rape and murder enemies, soubi loses his shit but never really denies it. aside from this, we have hard evidence of soubi murdering other teams for seimei, including this being explicitly stated in a drama CD where someone that soubi took pity on comes back to haunt him, and the fact that one of the crimes seimei’s being prosecuted for includes murder, and seimei doesn’t do the dirty work to say the least. there’s also the fact that in the beginning, he kept asking ritsuka if he wanted soubi to murder their opponents, which strongly implies that he’d been put in a situation previously, where that question was necessary and appropriate, and where the answer was ‘yes’. this is a secret long-kept, and i do believe it’s key in understanding soubi, which is something ritsuka (and by extension kio) desperately need, and it’ll play into ritsuka’s later development of understanding that not everything falls into ‘good’ and ‘evil’.

(pictured: soubi starts an yelling argument with tokino over one comment, resulting in youji telling him to calm the fuck down.)

soubi has let a couple things go to ritsuka. he confirmed that ritsu raised him and was very cruel to him, but he didnt expand much on either point. with the few stories that soubi did tell ritsuka, ritsuka seemed a bit distressed and commented that the things ritsu did were horrible. in addition to this, ritsuka learning about seimei and nisei raping mikado seemed to be a huge turning point for him in the way he viewed seimei, and i suspect that there will be something similar when ritsuka learns that soubi was raped at a young age by the man raising him. and i suspect he’ll become very confused and disorientated when he realizes that seimei had soubi do many of the same things that nisei did. while i think their situations are different to where soubi had no capacity to enjoy it or even want to do it, whereas with nisei and in the case of mikado, nisei seems to have gone above and beyond whatever seimei ordered him to do and going along with his personality, enjoyed it, especially given his comments of liking it when listening to ritsuka cry through his wiretaps. 

(it’s probably safe to say that he enjoyed what he did to mikado.)

ritsuka is a particular character, because he’s young, and young people tend to view the world in terms of ‘black’ and ‘white’. for a long, long time, ritsuka viewed his brother as ‘good’ and in the series, mostly towards the beginning, he struggled with whether or not soubi was a ‘bad guy’. however, hes quickly discovering that the world isn’t so clear-cut, which we’ll get to in a hot minute (or more, in the next part of this series).  

by some way or another, probably by just directly asking ritsu or nagisa and by spending an extended amount of time at seven voices, ritsuka will find out about soubi’s childhood. he will also go deeper into what the flashback chapters introduced and we’ll find out what further transpired with ritsu, nagisa, akio, and the rest of the kids in that particular year. i say this because, at this point, it’s detrimental to the story. we’ve gotten to a point where we sort of need to know why these older characters act the way they do and why there’s so much bad blood between them. this will also help ritsuka understand SM more, too, but ill get to that in the next point. there’s also the fact that, you know, theres two potential people that could be ritsuka’s father, the fact that soubi’s mother and ritsuka’s mother were friends, and the fact that a kid suspiciously drown in knee-deep water. so, a lot of unsolved mysteries we haven’t gotten to yet.

so, we have ritsuka and kio finding out about the horrors of soubi’s past, and i think this will heavily impact the way ritsuka sees ritsu and septimal moon. right now, ritsuka seems to sort of respect ritsu, but i doubt he will after he finds out about everything, especially the fact that ritsu raped soubi when he was incredibly young and abused him in every way before and after that. this will cause ritsuka’s opinion of ritsu to drop incredibly low, which will affect what happens in the next part of this series.

ritsuka may also find out about the things soubi did for seimei and will find out that many of the crimes that seimei is held accountable for were actually done with soubi’s hands. i don’t believe in any way, shape, or form that soubi can be held accountable for this in this world, nor do i personally believe he should be held accountable, but i’m unsure if ritsuka will immediately see it this way. ritsuka will be forced to make a choice about good vs evil regarding soubi, and will be forced to come to the realization of just how strong seimei’s hold over soubi and nisei is and what the extent of his power is.

in addition, we’ll find out more about ritsuka’s family, too. i should say that im a firm believer that yun has been building up to something having to do with ritsuka’s father, who he is, and why he’s never present, and ive thought this ever since we got the indirect confirmation that seats are passed down throughout the family, meaning that it was most likely the elder aoyagi who held it beforehand. notice that i say elder aoyagi and not ritsuka’s father, because we don’t know if ritsuka’s father is seimei sr or aoyagi masaki, misaki’s biology professor in high school. this will play a huge amount into who ritsuka is and what he discovers about himself, and how it could even relate to seimei’s motives and his own memory loss.

the way i see it, ritsuka and seimei are masaki aoyagi’s kids. or, at the very least, seimei is his, but i personally believe ritsuka is, too. however, there’s a very real possibility that ritsuka thinks nowaki seimei--who will be referred to as seimei sr, mostly because i think it’s funny--is his father. i’m fairly certain that seimei sr is the one that ritsuka calls ‘dad’ and the person that we see for a couple panels in the early volumes of the manga, and im unsure if he knows that he was fathered by someone else. seimei jr alludes to knowing more about their family and why they’re named what they are named in an extra chapter about ritsuka’s birthday, but doesn’t say much about his family beyond that. regardless, there is something fucked up going on with the aoyagi family seniors, since misaki, ritsuka, and seimei jr all take the last name ‘aoyagi’. the kids look like aoyagi masaki, but the person ritsuka calls ‘dad’ is never home and is most definitely not aoyagi masaki. there’s also the fact that when seimei jr is being taken to the hospital for ritsuka’s birth in a flashback, we don’t actually see daddy. on top of this ‘dad’ is never home and ritsuka even states at one point while he’s tied up that he won’t come save him, and he doesn’t attend ritsuka’s school functions (in fact, soubi seems to be the person his school considers his parent, since he’s asked to come help out at an art museum and he offers to go to the dad event at school for ritsuka in early series loveless).  

i’m of the belief that something is going on with the aoyagi parental lineage, since i don’t really see any evidence that ritsuka’s father is just absent a lot. there’s too much pointing to the fact that something suspicious is going on. and i think this is something seimei knows, but ritsuka does not. i also think that ritsuka will be finding out more about his memory loss, and i theorize that ritsuka at one point found out something he shouldn’t have, resulting in seimei ordering to have his memory taken, and that soubi is probably the one to have done this, given that soubi is able to alter memories, since he did so to hitomi in relation to natsuo and youji.

to put it simply, there’s a lot of very well-kept secrets that i think are about to come out, and it’s going to be detrimental when they do.

[smurfettte]

💎✖️️💕🍳🍭😂

DOTT IM SO SORRY I JUST SAW THIS TY

Im still using sm*rf bc i dont want it to show up in the tags its annoying and im sry

💎 - when and how did you discover your special interest?

Ooh this goes way back.

Well, when i was about nine my parents first seperated (they did twice, ultimately getting divorced 2nd time around) for a period of two years, and during that time we had very, very little money because my mom was a stay at home mom for years and had to get a job too, so we basically had to cut, like, everything/anything extra that we didnt need. The best my mom could do so we didnt get a total shock on top of everything was to get us the smallest cable package possible (im pretty sure it was way cheaper back then too, idk if even that would be manageable now) where we had just like, a little cluster of channels; one of those was boomerang. I was really, really sad about loosing cartoon network, so my mom hyped me up about being able to watch sm*rfs, even though i only had a very vague idea of what they were. From there, it kind of just became my permanent special interest. My mom and i watched it together a lot since her mom played into the really strange christian propaganda of “demonizing” cartoons that was everywhere in the 80s when she grew up. She would bribe her brother not to rat her out when she would sneak-watch it on saturday mornings and tbh that would literally be me

✖ - Is there something you Dont like about your special interest?

Definitely. The author of the original comics was uh… a really sexist, probably racist and a homophobic guy. Which, really shows in his earlier works – the full sm*rfette story is honestly much worse than the concepts of her origin that were kept in the cartoon. The 80s retelling is basically the comic but heavily censored for over obviously sexist content, while still being sexist in itself (just in a way where, maybe for younger viewers or a blind eye, its not obvious at first). Honestly just the treatment of most of the female characters is my complaint in the way a lot of them are portrayed, but especially sm*rfette. She cant do one self indulgent thing for herself without it being ridiculed or often portrayed as wrong, even when shes like the smartest and most caring person in the village. Its annoying and not a good message at all.

Also, it tries to be written as insanely het all the time and just isnt. Like its so gay and theres so many moments where youre like “ppl really tried to pass this as het…bitch” but time and time again… straight people think its reasonable that an entire village is attracted to. a single person (who most of the time heavily shys away from affection from men too, lmfao…). REALLY hoping the new movie addresses that in some way thats not bad, but im trying not to get my hopes up (ive got my hopes up).

💕 - Something you like about your Special Interest?

Honestly this is a lot of things, but i would have to say?? Like. Everything, except the things i dont like ^. Its constantly been such a comfort to me in so many ways. I love the characters, i love how it was my first real introduction to fairytale fantasy (aside from disney) and its just… so calming. Some people find it boring and annoying, but for me it was so easy to fall in love with and kept me company/calmed me down during some of the worst times ive ever had. Even when some of those worst times were because people would make fun of me for loving it.

🍳 - do you have a stim related to your special interest?

In a few ways, yea! I do!

I always compare it to this, but i think being surrounded in things related to it is a kind of visual stim that relates to the old woman who wants most everything in her house to be green. Just as it makes her feel calm, happy, and energetic, i have the same expirience but i sm*rf theme as many things as i can, and collect ALOT. I try to be surrounded by it as much as possible, and it always helps me to feel happy and calm. If im not in a space where its all around, i’ll have sm*rf things that i use day to day, like my wallet, cups, things like that. It always provides a feeling of happiness and safety.

Another for a physical stim is that i have a sm*rfette themed slime that one of my best friends made me for christmas! (He made a little white hat to put over the lid too, it was so sweet). Its a glittery blue, and has lots of gold, blue, and flower shaped sequins in it! i love squishing gooey and squeezable stuff. Textures like that are the best ever.

🍭- a headcanon/theory you have about your special interest?

This is gonna be long and im sorry i talk so much, but Brainy, Grouchy, Clumsy, and Fette (so i dont have to block out the full word again) are all autistic!

- Brainy expiriences a lack of empathy, tends to micromanage more than one usually would (especially if one of his special interests are involved/its something he came up with himself) and, as mentioned, expiriences special interests (a need for worldly knowledge – especially of magic, and for papa, who he constantly seeks to impress and be respected by, no matter what it takes. He loves him and wants to be just like him, and often does things for him out of the blue just so he’ll appreciate and recognize him + his potential). He stims by chewing (probably with the handle of a wand) and by writing + drawing swirly doodles on paper with his quill pen. He infodumps, and he usually lacks an understanding of social cues; this often leads to him making “bad decisions” being highly ridiculed, often overshadowed by his peers.

- Clumsy does not quickly process information + events, his comfort object(s) is/are his continuously growing rock collection/garden that he waters and talks to everyday, he stims by flapping and jumping, and is very uncoordinated. There are often ‘simple’ things that confuse him that he is unable to figure out quickly (like putting together things that fold up - chairs, foldable tables where u have to specifically press something, stuff like that. I think its an autistic thing even though im not able to describe it very well since ive struggled w it all my life myself and i always get weird looks when i cant do it) and his special interest is Brainy. Because he is physically incoordinated and processes information slow, though people do stick up for him, he can often recieve even worse treatment from those around him than Brainy does, on top of being easily able to manipulate due to him being so easily trusting and loving. Because of this, him and Brainy often do everything together, and eventually their mutual love for each other + relatability brings them to be almost inseperable (even if Brainy looses his patience more than he should sometimes). aka theyre boyfriends it rly shows

- Fette struggles with anxiety (as alot of autistic people, like myself, do) and has hyper-empathy. Similar to Clumsy, Fette seeks comfort in her flower garden and flowers in general, often holding conversations with them. This actually is a real theory, but she believes that talking to the flowers will help them to grow, and cherishes them as if they were people. She knows the name of every flower in the forest and could tell you at LEAST 5 facts about every single one. She stims by flapping, jumping, and chewing on her hair. Fette is quick to act to situations whether good or bad, and raised voices from others can often send her towards a meltdown (in where she retreats to her house for solitude to calm down + renergize). Though she loves her friends and being with them, she is an introvert and enjoys being by herself or with her flowers to regain energy.

- Grouchy uses echolalia to express his emotions and partake in conversations, while being mostly nonverbal. He often seeks company in animals or baby sm*rf (who i believe is also his special interest) because they bring him comfort and dont ask him to explain or change who he is. He is often very distant from most people, and only opens up to being around people he feels he can trust.

😂 - something funny about your special interest?

It just made me type up like. Disorganized paragraphs when im supposed to be packing up my shit 2 go to my moms. Also just the idea that a whole village could be attracted to a single person and no one else… funnie as shit my guy

[lovelesswiki]

Post-Moonless predictions— The Mole (4/10)

previous part<--[here] --> next part

for the last week or so, i’ve been talking about a large theory i’ve been writing. since finishing it, i’ve decided to publish it in parts, since it’s actually about 10 different theories all on one subject. since it’s all written out, i’ll try to be publishing one part of this per day.

essentially, this is a set of theories about what i believe will have to happen in order to properly lead up to a climax--the one we’ve been building up to for years and years now. so, these are what i theorize will happen after the first moonless vs beloved battle, broken up into ten different parts. each theory is explained and theres images for each one.

table of contents (bolded is the post you’re looking at):

moonless and beloved will rematch (1)

soubi will fall into a deep depression and possibly become suicidal (2)

ritsuka will arrive at seven voices, SM’s activity will be revealed (3)

SM will reveal that there was a mole in their organization (4)

kio will be the one to take ritsuka to goura (5)

ritsuka will find things out about soubi and the aoyagi family (6)

SM’s true purpose will be revealed. ritsuka will have to make a decision about good vs evil (7)

seventh SM member will be revealed (8)

nagisa will find out what really happened to sanae (9)

ritsuka will be asked to join SM to fill the aoyagi seat (10)

Theory: after arriving at goura, SM will reveal to ritsuka that they have/had a mole in their group. this will be bad because the organization is already dysfunctional and suspicions could cause the entire thing to fall apart and probably has already had a huge effect.

one of my biggest current gripes about loveless is the fact that we spent 8 volumes building up to who septimal moon is and why they’re out for seimei, but right after we actually got to meet them and everything in their organization went to shit, they were almost completely dropped in-plot. mikado was introduced and expanded upon, but mostly as moonless and seimei’s rival and not as a member of septimal moon. the latter seems to be a secondary part of her characterization. the things that happened at seven voices, we never got follow-up on.

and fuck, a lot of things happened at seven voices. part of the school was destroyed. one of the key members of SM was badly injured and had his eyes torn out of his head. another member, who’s apparently paralyzed, disappeared out of her wheelchair. seven and nagisa both had near breakdowns–seven’s being over her security system being so easily infiltrated and nagisa’s being over ritsu’s injury and natsuo and youji. a huge amount of data was stolen from the organization. students and faculty were injured and some were in critical condition. the safety of many students and of the organization as a whole were put in jeopardy and SM was forcibly given the confirmation that the kid who betrayed them is still alive and 100% out for blood.

(i’d be pretty mad too if my systems were compromised as badly as seven’s were. 30% is an actual fuckton of data.)

however, we have absolutely no follow-up on any of this. what did they do about security? what about the data stolen? did they rebuild the school? how has ritsu’s recovery been and what’s he like now that he’s physically disabled? how did nagisa actually feel about natsuo and youji choosing soubi as a parent over her? what the hell are they doing about chouma? what did they tell the students and kids who all witnessed a high-level break in and some of which were badly injured? who were the other people who were apprehended? what did SM do about bloodless, who they knew were the ones to steal the data? what do they know about mikado’s current actions against beloved, or is mikado primarily acting out of primary interest?

(you can’t tell me that something like this doesn’t cause some sort of pr disaster.)

if yun does not show us anything that has happened with SM and at seven voices in the last few months, i will be more disappointed in her than i have ever been (which is saying a lot), because we spent 8 volumes building up to the incident at seven voices and not following up on any of the things that happened there is extremely bad writing. so im going with the theory that since much of the story is told through ritsuka learning about the world, that when he goes back to goura, he’s going to find out what has happened over the past few months and we’re going to get more flashback chapters revolving around it.

one of the biggest things, though, is that there is/was a mole in SM, and it’s someone who has been working with seimei. it’s not mikado, it’s not nagisa, or ritsu, or seven. it’s the person who disappeared on the night of the incident, who disappeared against all odds and despite the fact that there was no way she should have been able to and then was shown to be at the place where bloodless was stationed. in other words, chouma was undoubtedly a mole.

(don’t worry guys, she just Got Better.)

there had to have been a mole. there is no other possible way that seimei, nisei, and bloodless, couldve so easily surpassed security at the school. seven had recently designed the new system and even though bloodless and nisei are both said to be quite good at getting through systems, seven does this for a living and they got through the security system like it was nothing, like they already knew what to do and then they knew exactly where the information they needed was located and how to create a distraction to get to it.

(mikado actually seems to be alluding to chouma being the mole here.)

it’s pretty obvious, knowing these things, that there was someone feeding them information from the inside, and the only person that could be suspiciously disappeared after the incident at seven voices and created chaos with kaidou kio and was shown walking around, despite having said to be paralyzed.

(technically, i guess you could make the argument that kunugi couldve been the mole, but we know nothing about them, whereas the small information we’ve gotten about chouma pretty obviously implicates her as the mole, especially since she’s clearly not a prisoner at the place kio was being held.)

if nothing else, i expect septimal moon to have realized by now that there was a mole in their organization, and i expect them to be trying to figure out who it is/was. im unsure if they have figured it out yet, but this would be a good way to create chaos within the organization. so far, from what we’ve seen, septimal moon in its current iteration is incredibly unstable. i say this because of what we’ve seen of it–we have members who hate each other, members with histories with each other, members who are incredibly narcissistic and members who see everything as a competition.

let’s break down what we’ve seen of SM so far. we have ritsu, who is so incredibly wrapped up in his history with soubi and akio that he’s completely obsessed. hes been shown to disrespect authority, prefer working alone rather than in a team, looks down on others around him, seems to enjoy delegating tasks, is obsessed with control, and is all around incredibly narcissistic. like, ritsu completely fits the bill for narcissism. and narcs don’t tend to work in teams of equals very well. in SM’s current iteration, ritsu seems to want to take control and ‘lead’ the council, despite everyone on the council being at the same authority level. on top of all this, ritsu has history with nagisa and potentially had a very large hand in what caused nagisa grief for the rest of her life (more on that in part 9). ritsu and nagisa have a rivalry that seems to take up most of their screentime, and ritsu seems like he’s constantly trying to get the upper hand and swing into a greater position of power, rather than being concerned with the well-being of the council.

(i mean, come on. he was like this at 15 and just seemed to get worse.)

then we have nagisa. im going to eventually do a write-up on nagisa’s character, since there’s a lot that needs to be said about her, but the short version is that sanae’s death so incredibly affected her life that nagisa is still stuck in a state of grief 21+ years later. nagisa’s life still revolves around sanae. she’s constantly trying to fill the void that sanae left, even going as far as creating an experiment in her image and then using ritsu to replace her once he was injured enough that he needed her. going along with this, she has a horrible relationship with ritsu (more on this in part 9), and it’s incredibly unhealthy. she’s not in love with ritsu. she even admits that she’s using him to fill the emptiness that her sister left. ritsu is the only thing left of sanae that nagisa has, so she holds onto him even if she hates him because of the fact that he was partially (as far as she knows) a cause of her death. this has resulted in her being obsessed with ritsu, but in a negative way, and she has created a ‘game’ where she constantly tries to destroy him and all that he has left (soubi). this is what her entire life is. it all revolves around sanae and by extension, ritsu. her personal relationships and goal to try to beat ritsu completely cloud her judgement, and she has not been shown to work in a team at all.

seven, on the other hand, isn’t involved (or too involved) with personal conflicts and personal relationships. but, the problem is that she doesn’t have personal relationships, with the exception of nagisa. she’s reclusive and a loner, and doesn’t appear to work in a team yet. she is said to mostly stay in her room and not talk to people, and values the virtual world over the real world. this doesn’t make her the best candidate for a good team-member, especially when she’s outright described as a shut-in with only one friend.

chouma is a mole. i think it goes without saying that that’s not... really a good quality to have on a team. 

seimei is a traitor, a murder, and a rapist. he is also not a good team player. and that’s why he has a literal death warrant out for him.

mikado is interesting because due to her personality, i actually think she’d actually be the only one out of these six with the council’s survival at heart, since she’s a very objective person and seems to properly keep her personal life separate from her professional life. however, this seems to have crossed recently, because she has a professional job with the same objective as her personal goal--taking down seimei and nisei and making them pay for what they did to her. it’s also currently up in the air whether or not SM knows that she actually battled with seimei and if they know about her contacting ritsuka. while i also think both these actions were good for the council, i dont know if the rest of the members would take well to knowing that she acted without telling them. this could easily cause dysfunction. regardless, though, i actually think mikado would probably be the best team player out of these six for the simple reason that she views her position as professional and tries to keep it separate from her personal life. but i dont think she alone has enough glue to hold everything together.

so we have 5 people who can’t work well together and 1 who may be acting without the council’s knowledge. on top of that, 2 of those 6 are traitors and have betrayed the organization. we do have 1 member who we know nothing about other than a name, but more on them in part 8. regardless, we have a team of people who... aren’t really a team. theyre more of a collection of people who should be working as a team but are more working as individuals. they are incredibly dysfunctional. theyre dysfunctional enough that seimei was essentially hiding in plain sight at an old lady’s house with contact to the outside world and SM couldn’t find them until a 14 year-old member started working by herself and successfully tracked him down without the help of the other members. in short, they’re pretty terrible at what they do (more on what they do in part 7).

above all else, the current iteration of SM does not work together as an organization. whatever they’re trying to do, they’re not doing it together. every member seems too wrapped up in their personal goals and problems to be able to work with others. ritsu is constantly focused on soubi and his narcissism affects him being able to work with others. nagisa is focused on beating out ritsu and is still in pain over her sister’s death. chouma is a mole and working with seimei and no one knew. mikado seems to be acting outside of SM as she goes after seimei. seven seems to be incredibly solitary. seimei betrayed the organization and his seat is open. right now, SM is not an organization, but a group of individuals who are all chasing personal goals rather than working together as a team. in short, SM is falling apart very quickly, and given the make-up of members and the opposing personalities, i highly doubt that they’ll be able to pull together to act as an organization.

because of this, the realization that there’s a mole in the organization could very easily tear them apart with accusations of each other and the dysfunction of the group as a whole. since the group is unstable, knowledge that there’s a mole can very easily cause untrustworthyness of other members and members could begin to get horribly suspicious of each other and start making accusations fly, especially when we have members with previous connections to seimei and members who only work alone. it creates an incredibly toxic environment that could easily be the downfall of the current iteration of SM. without knowing who the mole is, the dominant members of the group could cause the entire organization to completely fall apart.

(thats also the face i make when im about to fuck everything up with one piece of dialogue. i like her. she absolutely knows what she’s doing.)