#need him soooooo bad like u guys dont get it

[player1064]

gary goes into business instead of broadcasting post-retirement. carra still goes into puditry. they don't know each other/end up as friends.

they both end up on the same season of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and fall in love. this is highly apparent to the entire audience.

I've not done a request fic in like two months bc I've been so zoomed in on the beville fic but I wanted to write something quick and silly and yes this request has been sitting in my inbox for more than THREE months but dont worry i did not forget about it I haven't forgotten about ANY of u.

and this really is quick and silly it is Mostly dialogue bc idk how else to convey the Vibes of im a celebrity but I had soooooo much fun with this dkjfgdfjsgkk...

---

 “I’m Gary Neville, I’m a businessman but I’m probably best known for my football career, playing 602 games for Manchester United and earning 85 caps for England.”

“What am I doing in the jungle? Mid-life crisis, I suppose.”

“I’m no stranger to public humiliation – just look at my coachin’ career! My only worry is the food – I do love a dairy milk, to be fair.”

*

“I’m Jamie Carragher, and I’m best known as a football pundit with Sky – am I allowed to say other broadcaster’s names on here? – and for winning the Champions’ league with Liverpool.”

“I’ve always said the jungle is the only reality show I’d consider doin’, so I guess it’s time to put me money where me mouth is.”

“Scared? Eh, no, I don’t think there’s many challenges I wouldn’t do. You don’t get to where I’ve got without that drive to win.”

*

Jamie walks into camp, takes one look at the group of people stood in front of him, and almost considers walking straight back out. Would that work, saying the catch-phrase outside of one of the challenges? ‘I’m a celebrity, get me away from Gary fucking Neville?’

“Jesus Christ,” Gary mutters. “Don’t you ‘ave some children to spit at or somethin’?”

“Don’t you ‘ave a football team to coach – oh no, sorry, they both fired you.”

“How the fuck are they lettin’ you take three weeks off in the middle of season? What’re people gonna do when they want to listen to two hours of Scouse gibberish?”

The rest of the campers watch on, no longer even attempting to come and introduce themselves to Jamie.

“And how’s your club gonna manage without yous, eh? What if they need someone to fire another manager?”

*

“Yeah, I uh… is it mean to say I hope one of them gets voted off soon? Don’t get me wrong, they’re both perfectly nice guys, but…”

[yelling heard from outside the hut]

“…Yeah.”

*

The first pairs challenge, shockingly, goes off without a hitch.

This is not a surprise because the challenge was particularly difficult – it’s early days, they’re still easing everyone in – but because of who the public had voted to complete it. Because the public is the public, and they’re nothing if not predictable.

“All twelve stars! I’m pretty pleased w’that, you know.”

“Typical fucking Neville, taking the credit for his partner’s hard work.”

 “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t seem to recall you crawling about in the mud to get the –”

“—I was the one doin’ all the heavy lifting!”

“Of course you were doin’ the heavy lifting, look at the fuckin’ size of you!”

“Ugh.”

Jamie storms off camera and back into camp, leaving behind a bewildered looking Gary.

“He’s a bit of a diva, in’t he?”

*

“The first few days? Erm, it’s been goin’ alright, I think. I’ve been told I’m not always the easiest person to get on with, so it’s a pleasant relief that the others seem to – I mean, obviously not all of the others, but – but he’s –”

*

“Oh, I’m loving camp. Missing the gym a bit –” for emphasis, Jamie slaps his bicep – “but the food’s not as bad as I were expectin’, and the banter is sound – we’re all great friends already –”

“—well, no, but you can’t count him. He’s so weird, ‘ave you seen him? Like a little robot, doin’ everything exactly the same every day.”

*

“Another pairs challenge…”

“I don’t get why people keep voting for us to do these trials. You’re useless at ‘em anyway, do they want to see us starve?”

“Maybe I’d be able to get more done if you didn’t always insist on bossing me around, James. Can barely hear myself think over that Scouse screech of yours, it’s a wonder me eardrums haven’t burst yet.”

“It’s a wonder nobody’s killed themselves in the boredom of having to listen to you drone on and on all day. Did I actually hear you talkin’ about the stock market the other day?”

“The stock exchange, oh my god. It’s my hotel, which you’d know if you took part in any conversation that’s not about you.”

*

“I can’t believe they let you have that.”

Jamie looks with pride down at the football he’d chosen as his luxury item, then drops it and kicks it towards Gary’s head. It’s wide by about a metre.

“Oi! If you were a half decent footballer that could’ve actually hurt me, you twat.”

“’least mine can benefit everyone in camp, what even is yours?”

“Fidget toy, innit. My niece got me into them, gives me something to do with my hands.”

“You’re a strange little man, you know that right?”

Gary, who’s still positioned closest to the football, picks it up and lobs it into the trees surrounding camp.

*

“Come have a kickabout with me?”

Gary looks around but there’s nobody else sat nearby. “Me?”

“No, Cristiano Ronaldo. Of course you, who else would I be askin’?”

“Literally anyone else here?”

“It’s not as fun when you’re better than everyone else –”

“—ah, so you admit I’m a better footballer than you!”

“That’s not what I said!”

*

“What are you actually doin’ in here? ‘cause no offence, Gary, but you don’t really seem the reality show type.”

“Dunno. Was having a rough week when the email came through, thought it might be nice to get away from everythin’ for a bit.”

“’and you, Jameh?’” Jamie says in a squeaky parody of a Manc accent. “Oh, thanks fer askin’, Gaz. I was worried I was goin’ soft, now that I’ve been retired for so long. Wanted to prove to myself I can still be a winner.”

“Still? When were you ever a winner before?”

“I’ve won a Champions’ League, I’ll have you know!”

“I’ve won two!”

“Have you fuck.”

*

“Who’s your letter from, then? Missus?”

“No, my brother,” Gary says absently, then he looks up from his letter with a frown. “I don’t have a missus, what’re you on about?”

“Don’t you? I could’ve sworn, in Baden Baden with the WAGs –”

“You’re basing your knowledge of my relationship status on a tournament we played in more than fifteen years ago?”

“You realise you’re literally wearing a wedding ring.”

“And you’re not. Any other observations you’d like to make? Sky is blue, maybe?”

“Normally people wear wedding rings to show they’re married.”

“Maybe some people wear them to avoid annoying questions. Anyway, Philip says that I’m coming across very well so far and that ITV has received hundreds of complaints from people who can’t understand your accent.”

“He did not fucking write that, give it here –”

*

“Am I getting along better with Jamie? I dunno, I never had a problem with him to be fair, it’s him that’s always –”

*

“Friends? With Gary? Behave. Have we managed to go a single day so far without him shoutin’ at me for somethin’ I did, or somethin’ I didn’t do right, or for – for breathing in the wrong direction. Christ, I’ve never met anyone this fussy. He’s too easy to wind up.”

*

“He must be doin’ it on purpose, surely nobody is that thick – I mean, is it so hard to stack a couple of dishes when you’ve finished washing them?”

“Well, no, yeah, he did stack them, but did you see – they were all out of order, there’s no stability – they’re certain to all fall and break in the night thanks to him.”

*

All the effort that goes into the Dingo Dollars task and all the camp has to show for it is a single square of chocolate each. Gary nibbles carefully at his, trying to preserve it for as long as possible.

Jamie gets up and goes to sit beside him.

“Here.”

“Wha?”

“Here, I don’t like sweets.”

“You don’t – what kind of a psychopath don’t like sweets?”

“Will you just take the bloody chocolate before I change my mind.”

*

“You’re limping. Why are you limping?”

“Done my ankle in the last trial.”

“Trust you to get injured doin’ a trial. What’d you do, you slip or somethin’?”

“Why don’t you ask your mate, he’s the expert on slipping.”

“Ha ha. But really, Gary – you alright?”

“I’m fine, Carra, ‘s not even strained. Just a bit achy. Twenty years as a professional athlete will do that to you.”

“Give it here.”

“You what?”

“Give it here, I do an okay massage. Maybe that’ll stop yer whining.”

“I literally didn’t say a word until you brought it up.”

*

“I don’t know, he’s – ugh, he’s…”

“He’s not what I expected. I dunno. He’s just not what I expected.”

*

“D’you know how many times me and Gary played a full ninety together with England? One. We only ever played one full match on the same side, and it was shite.”

“It always felt like there was only room for one of us, so I just – I fucking hated him. ‘cause it wasn’t me the managers were picking, was it?”

*

“Carra?” Gary whispers

“What.”

“Carra, I can’t sleep.”

“Don’t give a fuck.”

“Jamie.”

Jamie reluctantly sits up in his camp bed, squints at Gary in the dark. “What.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“You already said that.”

“I want to go for a walk, clear my head.”

“Good for you.” Jamie lies back down and pulls his sleeping bag over his face.

“Jamie.”

“I swear to God, Gaz…”

“Yer not gonna make me go out there alone, are ya? It’s the middle of the night.”

“What are you, twelve? Fine, just give me a minute to find my shoes.”

*

“It’s very dark, isn’t it?”

“It’s the middle of the night.”

They hadn’t ended up walking very far, just to the log benches in the next clearing over before agreeing the risk of tripping over tree roots was too high and sitting down to just talk instead.

“My internal clock’s all thrown off, we’ve been here nearly two weeks and I still can’t get the hang of it. At home to be fair I’m normally in bed by ten, half ten.”

“I remember, from England. You and Phil were such geeks, weren’t you?”

“Most capped brothers in England, thank you very much.”

“D’you miss him?”

“Nah. Don’t get to see ‘im much anyway, to be fair. He’s off in America, Trace is out here, they’re both just – getting on with it, aren’t they? I prob’ly miss my house more’n anything else.”

“Your house… not your friends? Not football?”

“I like my house! It’s got everythin’ just the way I like it.”

“Alright, alright. Fine, you can miss your house.”

“Wha’d’you miss? Your kids? The missus?”

“I dunno really… kids are both all grown up now, missus went back to being a ms a long time ago.”

“Oh.”

“Is what it is. Anyway, I miss football even if you don’t, honest to God, what kind of a footballer are ya? I wish someone would slip me this week’s standings, feel like I’m going insane tryin’ to imagine all the results.”

“Should’ve said something sooner, twat. I can tell you how the league’s going.”

“You can?”

“Yes. Manchester United are on a – how many games’ve we missed now? – they’re on a three game winning streak and have shot to the top of the league.”

“Oh yeah? What about Liverpool?”

Gary tuts and shakes his head. “Relegation zone, I’m afraid.”

“We were top of the table when I came in ‘ere!”

“Well, you know what they say – anything can happen in football, can’t it?”

“You’re right, what’s that… I’m getting reports from Old Trafford that Salah’s just scored a hat-trick, Stretford end as well –”

“You twat! As if your Liverpool could win away against United, you’re dreaming!”

*

“Erm, yeah… it’s good to be going home, ‘course it is. Glad I wasn’t the first voted out, hah, I actually think I’ve done alright in ‘ere.”

“Yeah, no, it’s been a brilliant experience to be fair. I never thought I’d make such good friends – yeah, even him. I know, I’m as surprised as you are! Anyway, I’m wishin’ them all the very best of luck in the semi-finals.”

 *

“I mean, I know fourth place isn’t bad, but I do think I deserved to get to the finals. I’ve worked harder than anyone else here, so –”

“Well yeah, ‘course, it’s up to the public, so – if it’s my time then it’s my time.”

“What’ll I be doin’ when I get to the hotel? Dunno. Check my messages first, probably!”

“What, Gary? I saw ‘im yesterday, it’s not like I’m missin’ him already! Might get ‘im to buy me a pint, though, least he could do after I had to put up with him for three weeks.”

[petrigrof-doomed-yuri]

i hate petrigrof.

just kidding. i do not. kinda.

note: this post makes petrigrof seem toxic. its not toxic. its just very doomed.

this is part one of my talking about the things i hate about petrigrof! because theres a lot. its. its insane.

i hate fionna and cake the series. just kidding again, but i hated the they way handled them. it felt so.. incomplete. which the series isnt over yeah, but simon basically was like “yay! im happy again!” at the end so im gonna pretend all the relationship building is over.

this also isnt the only time im talking about the fionna and cake series with this, because thats where we get most of our content from. but yeah anyways eyebrjdbsmd

i hate how simon was made out to be the bad guy and like betty did no wrong. which, did simon do something wrong? yeah he did. he didn’t consider how much betty gave up to fulfill his dream and stuff etc etc.. but betty is a grown woman. shes her own person.

this like also kinda harmful stereotype of women wanting to do what the man wants but i digresssssss 😁😁

but anyways, betty is her own person. simon never asked her to do any of it. like, yeah i agree simon is really stupid for no realizing it. yeah i think simon shouldve known better, but then again.. this isnt anyway his fault.

the fact though, is he never asked for her opinion on things. THATS the problem. but that wasn’t really ever talked about, so its kinda just.. bbbbllllleaaaaggghhggghh…

another thing about betty is that she should definitely be hold accountable. but also, to be fair, she thought “wow simon is my idol and is soooooo cool” and then started dating him. like babe i love you but why would u do that… there was such a horrible power balance because she read his books before and she thought of him as something higher because of that. so of course she subconsciously gave up all of her dreams for him. which sucks but i feel like she needed to learn how to stand her ground.

i am NOT blaming her though. at all.

she just was OBSESSED over simon to the point she wasnt her own person. which sucks, but she needed to learn to let go and move on.

dont get me wrong though.. i love these two so much!

i think definitely with a longer relationship (they were only together for about 5 years or under and didn’t even get married) so they were early-ish in their relationship so they didnt work out any of the kinks. and thats what sucks about them! they didnt have enough time to you know, have a relationship.

i think these two with enough time couldve been something great and its so sad they couldn’t get the life they deserve:( i love them sm

(i didnt cover all of my points here, so later down the road i may rewrite this LOL)

(also i didnt re read this so uh. sorry for the mistakes!)

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

Hi, this may be the “finals drawing near and studying melting my brain” talking but im losing my mind over the twin rings and it has begun to actually hurt my brain. And félix didnt get blorbo status in my brain until recently so i never really thought too deeply about his actions???

I know there’s people out there who have put huge amounts of thought into the amok lore, because i saw u in the wilds of tumblr a while ago and then proceeded to ignore it because i was too busy with my Other Blorbos, and now idk where to find posts, so, if you’re out there, here are some questions, i am imploring you for your wisdom

—why did gabe use the ring to threaten félix in the episode félix. “You know what i could do with a snap of my fingers,” or whatever. Was he talking about the peacock? The peacock wasn’t even fixed yet. It was still broken. Could he use the peacock to kill félix? I thought you needed the amok to do that???

—WHY did félix give adrien’s ring BACK to gabriel in risk. What the fuck benefit did that give him. He had blackmail and ALL of those miraculous????? He was already winning why was he like “and THIS, i wont be needing it anymore 😏” what the HECK félix.

—“anymore.” Why did he need it to BEGIN with then. Like. Is he protecting adrien with the peacock??? Is that even a thing????? He spent a while in hiding doing nothing why did he not swoop in to protect adrien sooner??? Did he even DO anything to protect adrien when he had the other amok????? Was he just constantly whispering like “adrien u can make your own choices youre free” into the ring and we didnt see it?????

—WHY IS HE SO BAD AT BARGAINING????? This isnt a lore question this is just. Still not over it. Félix what the fuck. Do you know how bargaining works. You dont play all of your cards at once. I get that he’s impulsive but SERIOUSLY my GUY. You are so STUPID why did you OFFER the ring to gabriel you dumb bitch

—amelie being like “you can keep it félix, i just wanted the ring back on our side of the family 🥰” at the end of félix makes me genuinely insane now. WHY. Amelie what did you want it on your side of the family for. Amelie couldve been like “oh we gotta give that to adrien” but instead she was like “yeah my sweet little murder boy will take good care of his cousin who he bullies”

—by the way this is not me complaining and this is not intended to be a space to complain,,, this is a space to go “omg these fictional guys are soooooo stupid and messed up (affectionate)” and try to unpack and come up with an explanation for what could’ve possibly made them act that way. Félix makes me more insane the more i study him . i hate him so much (affectionate)

(Also please please please please do not reference any leaks i am avoiding them okay thank u)

[teddybeartoji]

MICKEY i am jumping out of the blanket fort excitedly <333 this is so long overdue bc ive been too excited to sit down and think abt the Vamps properly BUT it’s finally time.. this is just going of ur most recent rb abt them btw which was . a While ago IVE BEEN THINKING OF IT CONSTANTLY THOUGH BUT ;;;;; STSG…. THE STSG DYNAMIC….

mickey i’m convinced that u are secretly plotting my downfall there’s no other explanation. VAMP!SUGU FLIRTING W JOURNALIST!GOJO ……..…. i DIED i exploded they make me feel so ill. I’VE PROBABLY DEFINITELY SAID THIS BUT EVERY TIME U GIVE ME ANOTHER PIECE OF VAMP LORE I FALL FURTHER INTO THE PIT just . sugu feeling more comfortable in the dynamic & getting more confident… JOURNALIST!GOJO BEING FLUSTEREDPEKSJ HELP MEEEEEE vamp!reader would find that so funny wouldn’t they. so sweet. now i’m just imagining the vamps teaming up to fluster gojo 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 me next

(he doesn't want u to be jealous he's more asking for reassurance - is it okay if the two of them mess around together too? and of course it is bc you want your boys to be happy)

dont even get me started on this ^^^^ im sending u my hospital bill watch out . MICKEY :(( im so obsessed w vamp!reader it isn’t even funny i need them so bad it’s sickening. they KNOW they call the shots and sugu knows it too and the way they’re kind of just. indulging their beloveds…… they’re sooo <33333 yeah.

i just wanted to let u know i am in fact thinking abt these three constantly i am kissing ur brain always. pls give mr armin a lil kiss from me too !! <33

HI ARI BABY!!!

it's so good to see you here (i might keep you forever)(/hj).

what do you think of playground love by air (btw doesn't the cover for this song look like sugu lmao i just noticed that) for this stsg? it might not be something you immediately thought of, right? but i feel like it suits the sugu teaching satoru how to paint?? do you see the vision?? or did you imagine something else?? i need to know. i think this moment would be such an important one in their relationship such a pivotal moment

i can totally see suguru talking about the colors and anatomy and how to hold the brush and then little journalist!gojo is just staring at him with stars in his eyes trying to concentrate because he really does want to learn but fuck it's so hard with this angel before him...

and i think the song name is also funny in a sense that satoru is like a teenager bc how easily he pops his boners lmao okay he just gets so fucking excited in his head it's literally not even sexual????? like sugu is just sooooo handsome under the moonlight it's making his head spin and oh! oops!

another thing i thought about is the fact that they definitely have a cat!!! idk if i said this already somewhere but they do!!! not a black one bc that's a little basic but maybe like a siamese one? meow very cute. anyway i think satoru desperately want to have the cat's attention but it loves sugu the most lmao and he's soooooo smug about that too!!! satoru is all pspspspsps bribing the kitty with the treats but it literally ignores him?????? and just gets comfy on sugu's lap without a second thought. imagine the pouty little satoru here:((( btw the reader is also jealous of sugu in this case but they refuse to show it. bc c'mon they're the leader of the house they can't be upset over their own cat liking their beloved more. no way. never. that's so childish. :(.

oh and and and!! the vamp!reader really does like satoru and they know that he's the perfect guy to help bring suguru out of his shell even more yk they know that a little curious puppy like him is only gonna do good in their household (after they reassure sugu ofc)

wait actually i can't remember whether i said that satoru just kind of moved in too right??? like he rarely goes to his city apartment and he just has his own room (as if he fucking sleeps there smh) and he absolutely loves lliving in the mansion he doesn't even hide it. i do need to say that he also adores having maids and a butler but he's still incredibly respectful towards them yk like he isn't pointlessly bossing them around

he also loves to blast stupid fucking music over the whole house.... canon i'm afraid. idk why but justin timberlake just popped into my head lmao like his music in the 10's wheww bangers though i won't lie

OHHH WAITT I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT SHOKO AND SATORU bc like they don't know each other yet!!!!! so imagine shoko comes over for their usual wine night and then finds this blue eyed guy lazing on the couch without a shirt on????? like who are you???? but then she recognizes him hehehe i think journalist!gojo is a rather known one he's good at his job so she just rolls her eyes but after an hour or two i think they actually get along surprisingly well!! (okay i mean it's not a surprise for us but for the reader and sugu) they kind of share the same stupid af humor and it all just gets super fucking funny when they're all playing board games together lmao (shoko always wins btw)(always.)

also heheheh armin came to sit with me just as i started writing this!!! he has received his kiss!! he meowed back!! he loves you!! i know bc i know his language so just trust me!!

ANYWAYY THIS IS THEMM!! i love talking about them it comes so easily the words really write themselves really (i can't wait to actually you know.. write something real for them lmao)(SOON I PROMISE SOON)

thank you for coming by i hope you never leave!!! mwah mwah mwah!! love you lots and lots and lots!!

[mikadollie]

tatsumi ... (o´∀`o) i want him 2 be a (read; MY) father soooooo bad! he would b so good w children n he wants them 2 be good for him (≧▽≦) i loev papa (dilf) tatsu!!!! putting random emojis bc the ask isnt colorful as i wanted ..

btw hes on his 20s or 30s, OR MAYBE EVEN OLDER whatever u think its better :3

/// 🗯 trigger warnings & content warnings, this has mentions of ; non-con ( 99% of my asks r gonna have ncon btw) ,, (a bit of...??) plushophilia, big age gap, slight dacryphilia, (implied?) grooming (i guess??), somnophilia (kinda), emetophilia (i sneaked in vomit in my ask again :3 only a little bit), use of aphrodisiacs/drugs ???? I DONT KNWO HOW 2 TAG THIBGS I JUST SAY WHATEVER POPS UP IN MY MIND!!!!!!!!!

papa tatsu .. do u ever think abt when tatsumi said somrthing with Uhhhhh if alkaloid is a family ,, he wanted mayoi 2 take the role of a mother & wanted 2 be the father? :3 i dont remember well but !!! what if he rlly had a child ,, adopted or not ?? i think he would b such a great dad ( ´ ω ` ) well, he would seem a great dad at first, but im sure his child knows his true self ^_^ tatsumi tries to control himself, he really tries! what can he do at seeing such a easy prey? :( his child calls his name so happily that he cant help but feel guilt. he should be someone for his child to look up at, his urges just are stronger, okay? tatsumi, if hes still married with his wife (straight couple??? eww!!!), he would do his best to keep his child‘s little mouth shut (＠＾◡＾) hes just so kind to help his child to take a bath, isnt he? two fingers would b currently inside his child‘s mouth to muffle their cries and whines, while his other hand is fingering their hole/pussy, he swears hes gonna properly clean them up after with a warm bath. he doesnt wants to see his child crying anymore, even if it fuels his arousal, he just washes his child‘s hair & gently scratches their scalp as if nothing happened, he lets the water wash off his sins of his own child‘s body. tatsumi would b so good w manipulation i swear!! ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ tatsu would say 2 his child that papa would be upset if they said anything 2 their mama ,, of course his child would not want to upset him, right? he would grant all of his child‘s wishes, like he wants to grant his wishes with his child‘s body. papa tatsu would not b able to b too rough with his child or degrade them !!!! :3 he may be fast, but hes trying to soothe his child‘s cries and hiccups while their tight little hole/cunt clings around his cock (* ^ ω ^) depending on his child‘s age & sex assigned at birth, he would pop a boner so easily at seeing their body change. i mean!!!! im exaggerating a bit bc... tatsumi pls youre better than this BUT. put tatsumi & his child whose body is developing with shorts / short skirts in a room, one is getting out flooded with cum and it isnt tatsumi. he would focus on his pleasure and at the same time would focus on his child‘s well-being (´･ᴗ･ ` ) if theyre gagging and choking around his dick, its fine. they‘ll learn soon, its fine! theyre growing up and thats what grownups do, his child just need to be a little mature, tatsumi isnt doing anything wrong. if they throw up, it will be fine. he‘ll clean it, he just needs to cum again, alright?

ok adding more things here .. wgat if tatsumi‘s wife died & there is only his daughter n him left, so he sees his daughter as his wife?!?!?! i dont see rough sex & tatsumi being on the same sentencw but he would be gentle or a BEAST. going back 2 previous topic, papa tatsu would love everything related 2 u!! in any way!!!! did u see that guy who made a fursona costume (??i forgor the word) of all the plushies he came on? that would b tatsumi. talking abt single dad tatsu, it would b so boring w/o his child with him! eventually he would need something that makes him remember of his child 2 have any kind of pleasure, he cant cum if hes thinking abt another thing :( his child wouldnt mind if he stayed a bit at their room, right? after all, hes the owner of the house, he can do anything ^_^ his child wouldnt mind if he spent his time hugging one of their plushies, its not a big deal. papa tatsu just loooooooves anything related 2 their child! he would certainly jerk off on his child‘s bed n cum on their plushies, only a way 2 show his love ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝ his child would b confused when they come back from school n see their papa washing their plushies.. it was perfectly clean! well, they arent going 2 deny any kind of affection (?). he would love to spoil his child with affection, just making them sit on his lap and spoonfeed them. those little moments r everything 2 tatsumi, specifically after he managed 2 put aphrodisiacs into the food (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ he can see the wet patch / small bulge on their clothes after, he thinks its sooo cute 2 see his child so needy like that. depending on his child‘s age (again. btw i use child but it can be five or less years old, more than ten, a pre teenager or teen etc!!!) ,, he knew he would have 2 talk abt this one day ,, and he probably was too much excited 2 have this kind of talk. he would explain to their child that its okay and that this is the progress of growing up + their body developing, its totally normal! he would b more than happy 2 introduce his child 2 lewd stuff, n im sure he has sex toys somewhere hidden in the house!! o(>ω<)o making his child use a small vibrator that was hidden (somewhere...) just 2 see how they react, even if their reaction is negative and they keep insisting its weird + that they dont like it, tatsumi would gently shush them & say that its 4 them own good, that they would do this eventually.

papa tatsu who would not b afraid 2 fuck his child multiple times!!! he just loves hearing their cries while he fucks them into their bed, the bed that once was a comfortable place to their child. he would even let his child hug a plushie while hes fucking them 2 comfort them, their face shoved on their plushie while they lay on their stomach. tatsumi would b so happy 2 see his child‘s belly getting a bit round of how much cum theres inside them \(^ヮ^)/ he would finger back anything that came out, his seed cannot be wasted!! or just seeing the outline of his cock on his child‘s stomach :3 papa tatsu has a lot of ideas!!! (also. what kind of drugs do u think tatsumi would give 2 his child? ^_^) he would not hesitate 2 drug his child just to see them in a lil state of daze & not try to resist their papa‘s intentions \(^ヮ^)/ if their mama is not dead or papa tatsu isnt a single dilf, papa tatsu would sneak out of his bedroom 2 go to his child‘s bedroom!! he would do anything 2 not wake up his child, and if he did, he would put a hand over their mouth to keep them quiet. he just wants his child to get a good night sleep while hes with his cock inside them ☆ ～('▽^人) cockwarming papa tatsu while youre asleep...

i have more things 2 say also!!!!! pleese share your thoughts abt papa tatsu :33

— 🍮 anon!!!!! (^_^) in this ask ,, i would talk abt shu being a weird creepy girl but .. i got other ideas!!!!!!!!

> pleese share your thoughts abt papa tatsu :33: Hnmmfghhg.............🤤

awaa papa tatsu and his child taking a bath... his cock inbetween their thighs and he's massaging along their waist....(*´꒳`*) he's just so sweet and nice even though his cock is splitting them in half and making them whine loudly!! I think he would also steal his childs clothes a lot to jerk off with..... sometimes he likes watching them hump their pillows when he peaks in at night before taking his child for himself... tatsumi shoving his fingers into their mouth to keep them quiet and saying to not wake mama up....

Tatsumi making his child put their panties back on/a plug in them to keep all that cum in and slowly have it drip out down their leg hehe... I wanna say he would give molly to his child but thats just me being biased. He would crush up some valiums (or oxys depends on the day) and slip it in the food to see his kid all wobbly and unable to resist anything he does!!!

[poems-of-a-lover]

nick watches spiderman. again.

i have done this so much. the first movie was so long. this ones even longer. by like ten minutes but still. ANYWAY LETS GET GOINGGGG IM SO EXCITED

it should be noted that i spent thirteen dollars on this film and its so worth it

the opening music is SOOOO GOOD

this little motif that plays here is played a few times thru the movie and i love when movies do that sjdhfksjd its so fun to have little music cues that carry over thru the film

i heard someone say this was their least favorite spiderman and it breaks my heart i love it sm

anyway. richards killing things.

so basically hes killing the little spiders they worked on and just kinda running off rn

this is a surprise scene thatll help us later

i know what hes doing and why hes doing it but its a secret so i wont say until it comes up

OMG HEYYYY SO REMEMBER IN THE FIRST FILM WHEN THEY WERE PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK. THAT COMES BACK NOW.

he was recording a little video diary thingy =]

okay droppin him off at mays weve seen this part already

i know its important but cmon. places to be.

yippee mary and richard on the plane!!!

DUDE. MARY DIDNT WANT THIS. "did you see his face? hes never gonna understand. hes just a little boy." SHE DIDNT WANT TO PACK UP AND LEAVE HER SON THIS ISNT HER FIGHT AJKGHKJAHGS JUSTICE FOR MARY PARKER

"we're going to spend the rest of our lives looking over our shoulders, never feeling safe. we cant do that to him." funny u say that richard

okay mary is off to the bathroom. in walks flight assistance guy.

i feel like i gotta explain every little detail of this film bc it means so much to me and i need u guys to understand KJGHSKJDGH

flight assistant guy is washing his hands off and theres a little bloodddd on himmmmm yikes

richard sees but doesnt say anything bc obv

oops flight assistant has a gun. and hes locked mary in the bathroom. and he has a parachute. and he stole richards laptop. AND HE HIT MARY WHEN SHE ESCAPED.

fight sceeeene marys down

this scene is fun but theres no way in hell richard parker would be able to fight AND WIN

the planes going down they shot out the window

flight assistant guy is now out of the plane JKGSKJHGJK richard and mary go down with it but marys already gone before they crash, richard dies in the crash as far as i know, like thats whats implied

parents dead. time for spiderman.

PETERRRRRR PETER PARKER GUYS LOOK ITS SPIDERMAN ITS PETER HES ON SCREEN GUYS GUYS LOOK ITS PETER

THIS OPENING SWINGING SEQUENCE. I WANNA BE HIM SOOOOOO BAD U GUYS HAVE NO CLUE.

FUN FACT the movie made a mistaaaake and i caught it like my first watch. so theres this truck carrying plutonium that was stolen from oscorp that peters abt to go catch, right? and they say that plutonium is highly explosive. WELL ITS NOT. PLUTONIUM 238 IS BARELY A DAMN FISSILE ISOTOPE. SPIDERMAN. ITS USED AS A SOURCE OF HEAT AND ALPHA EMITTERS FOR SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH. STUPID MOVIE. and look they couldve just taken the name or something bc it sounds cool but cmonnnn its wronggggg

yeahhh the driver of the stolen truck is aleksei sytsevitch. remember that itll come back later.

this chase music is so good i love the score for this film

another motif here while hes swinging that comes back later ehehe

we are nine minutes in. argh.

"hey, mr criminal? hey, my names spiderman, you can call me webhead, you can call me amazing, just dont call me late for dinner, you get it? not a shaker, areeee you a hugger?" "i am killer!" "woah, okay!"

makes me laugh every time its so dumb

peters banter is so fun in this movie i love it so much

omg max dillonnnnn okay so hes walking with all these blueprints and they fall into the street and no one helps him but peter. guess if thatll come back later.

peter catches all the vials of plutonium. except for one. hes a bit dumb.

okay so peters o the front of this cop car and he looks over into the cop car next to him and who does he see but mr stacy! from the first film! "nick thats impossible hes dead" oh just wait GKHSKJDGHDSKJ

HIS RING TONE IS THE "spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can" AND I LOVE IT

HIIIII GWEN MY WIFE I ADOREEEEEE THIS WOMAN

oh yeah theyre graduating today and peters late bc hes in a high speed chase. if i was allowed to decorate my cap it wouldve been spiderman themed.

HER SPEECH AGH im not gonna quote t bc its so long but it means the world to me

oh yeah aleksei sprays peter with the windshield wiper water thing i love that

gwen stacy the woman u are

again i love how they did gwen like they didnt just make her a basic love interest like in tobys films they actually gave her depth

OKAY SO. PETER RUNS ON STAGE TO GET HIS DIPLOMA. AND HE DOES THE DRAMATIC DIP KISS THING TO GWEN. APPARENTLY THAT WASNT SCRIPTED. it couldve been but its so much funnier to think it wasnt

HIIII AUNT MAYYYYY

theres a deleted scene here where the graduates are with their families where flash runs up to them in his cap and gown all excited and he tells gwen like "i made it i knew i could bc u believed in me" and they shouldve kept it bc it makes me so happy

"i know the next thing your unvle ben would say, dont just follow the path, make your own trail" "ralph waldo emerson" "no" "what do you mean, no?" "ben told me he made it up!" I WISHHHH BEN WERE HERE

ugh the way they both laughed over ben i love these two

aunt may says that she wishes ben were here and peter goes "yeah, and my folks" and mays smile drops a bit, her demeanor changes ever so slightly and she just "...yeah" THIS DOESNT SEEM IMPORTANT AND ITS NOT BUT IT MAKES SENSE LATER

im gonna finish this scene then continue in a rb this is getting long

i love that may tries to take a photo of peter and gwen and gwens like "cheese!! =D!" and peter is so awkwardly stood there like "cheeeeeese 😐"

she invites him to dinner with her family and she says shes gonna do her speech for him "over and over again, all night long" bc he missed ittttt aghhhhhhh

THIS. THISSSSSS. he watches the stacys take their family photo and then mr stacy appears in the background, and we flash back to the first film, his death, where hes telling peter to leave gwen alone. i am soooooo sad.

okay this dinner scene is devastating so! next post! i love this movie i have so many thoughts and were only 17 minutes in

[demento]

this is going to be my running commentary for the 2001 a space odecyecs (can't spell lmai

the monkey part is so wierdd, it is so obviously some dude in a fursuit, topped off by the noises and music. my dog is growling at them and intensely staring at the screen.

the massive pole thing? idk what that was abiut. and then they start beating eachother, and It suddenly cuts to outer space? okay.

my dog is so interested, not taking his eyes off it. abolutely captivated.

really cool soundtrack btw, I really like it

first part of characters(ur title):

his daughter just wants another telephone :(. I am so confused rn, what's that really long convo around the table? who knows.

PASSENGERS ARE ADVISED TO READ INSTRUCTIONS VLBEFORE USING THE TOILET XD !!!!??????!!

there is no speaking again? really cool music but I need to know what's going on. please

oooh a meeting. I wish subtitles were available I am not processing any of this

the CGI is fabulous I love it so much

they going into that base thingy now with the horrific audio, like, it doesn't need to go in for so long :(, it's too much for my head to handle. I hope it has a purpose, to build tension or smth cause it's really terrible(in the way that it's well done/made but a bad noise). AND NOW RINGING?!

it says Jupiter's mission now

it's focusing on this dude running around a rotating office(?) and it's hurting my brain I can't wrap my head around the movement in it. ik you said it was trippy but I assumed that's later lol

the way this dude is eating his icecreamed food is driving me insane, no one eats it like that, stuff is meant to be eaten in an order, or going from one end to the other. oooh it's infuriating >:(

HAL 9000! I <3 him so much. He and Dave are so. just so.

" I know it's a bit silly" awwww

the breathing atm is so grr dheggebsb bdjbbs bsnndndndnnhw grrrrgrrrreerrr. they did not need 10 minutes of this dude breaking really heavy, was not needed.

got to the intermission!

there's the breathing again it is so wierdd and just wrong.

my dog just let out the loudest fart honestly >:0

the dude that's not Dave is just floating out in space. he won't stop it's been ages now. he's been saved!

all the people in the white sleepy suits just died

Dave let the dude go again?! he and Hal had an argument over killing each other.

Dave killed Hal as he was singing a song to him? ok, onto the Jupiter and beyond the infinite

the magical colourfull line he's gone into looked like guitar hero, but rotated

atm all I see is colours I am so confused. it hurts my eyes.

babies in space!?!!

overall I just found it confusing, but it was interesting to watch lol

have fun reading this :P

LMAO HI

im not gonna respond to the first gorillas bit bc i was there w u but . set the tone for ur dogs for sure….

THE POLE YHING IS PART OF THE TRIPPY BIT my ongoing theory is that it gives people new information that their brains cant rly hand,e (i.e. monkeys near pole went apeshit but figured out how to use tools, people on moon near pole had to be put in a coma but figured out how to go to jupiter, dave near pole had the worst trip of his life but was reborn into a giant baby…) like some sorta lovecraftian shit

THE SIUDNTRACK IS SOOOOOO GOOD AGH. i LOVE the use of music in the film to set the tone & atmosphere & motifs & shit

THE LONG CONVO WAS UHHH. they were on like a specship docking station nd these guys tell the doctor (main guy who rang his kid) that the spaceship he’s going onto has rumours of a massive disease outbreaak, and so he better be careful and also they say he should like. feed info back to them . and be a rat basically . the doctor says “nuh uh thats confidential” and they all get sad bc they dont have access to a mole

the meeting is where we discover that actually theres NOT a disease outbreak , thats just a backup story to prevent more people going onto the ship. they’re travelling to the moon to investigate this weird black pole thing (th same pole frm the monkeys) bc it has a super strong super weird magnetic field . its said that it must have been dug down into the ground purposely bc its so deep…

…which brings us nicely to the AWFUL RINGING SCENE . theyve found the pole and are investigating it — behavior is notably VERY similar 2 tha monkeys. they reach forwards and touch it hesitantly, crowd around it in a circle… the reason however that it might be ringing for us NOW but was not ringing for the monekys PREVIOUSLY could be just because we, the viewer, ARE humans, adn thus cannot hear the sound the moneksy heard

JUPITERS MISSION IS WHERE THE MAIN PLOT COMES IN ! with hal and frank and dave . uhh more or less u seem to understand most of the first bit of this, but just to put it out there that the people who are in a coma are the people who were on the voyage to th moon to investigate the magnetic field .

HAL AND DAVE ARE SO. THEY ARE JUST SO. U GET IT

the breathing is bc theyre in space thats what they hear but iAGREE it was HORRIBEL watching that on the big screen OUGH

intermission :-3

frank was uhh dead .? the pod he was manouvreing got taken over by hal (bc the red light at the front lit up ) , and it cut his oxygen cord. he’s dead out there buddy . dave isnt saving him .

dave let frank go bc he had to go in the entrance where he would Probably Die if he did not Pay Attention. and so bringing franks body in was NOT on his list of priorities .

the argument with hal was brought on previously — do u remember the convo dave and frank had in the pod when they thought hal could not hear them ? the convo abt cutting hal off if it turned out that the communications device was NOT broken aftr all? thtas why hal killed frank, and why hal wanted to kill dave

THE SONG WAS A REFREENCE TO THE FIRST COMPUTER TO SING A SONG !! th ibm something or other….but uhh the deal with him singing was bc his memory files got removed it was like a factory reset. && dave kille shim bc he killed frank and all those cryogenically sleepin people lol

I TALKED ABT THIS EARLIER IN THE POST BUT JUST TO CLARIFY. u could see the black obelisk thing just b4 he started with the freaky acid trip thing……nd my personal theory is that. the information he was fed got TOO much and TOO overcomplicated . and thats why the last hhalf an hour is like that lmao

GIANT BABIES LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

it IS confusing ur right. nw….tgank you for liveblogging it like i asked babycakws

[zhuhongs]

Hello everyone. omnibus update. oh my god am i tired but i legit dont even have a bed bc my cousin is.. not v helpful at all. soooo where do i start. lol.

Okay i got outta quarantine at 11 and took a taxi to my dorm. BUTTT my dorm building is located on a street that has a very busy street market. so i was dropped off a little bit further down and the driver told me it was down there and i thought i knew where it was do i confidently walked down a busy busy street with two monster luggages and got lost and almost hit with a scooter until a VERY NICE uncle helped me find the place. Then i checked in. which was ... interesting bc i came at the same time as a dude from shanghai. and the dorm leader was very... laid back and took her sweet time to check ne in. thus was fine but i was like... nervous lol. anyways, afterwards i talked to her and told her yk. why im here, that i speak chinese a bit. she was v nice and friendly. she told me all my roommates are out but theyre all japanese. which is funny bc like... i practice chinese SO MUCH to be like.. here are ur roommates. speak in jpn which. i can do. but LOL. so i go in, i fought with the door. so fucking much. omg that door beat my ASS. LIKE NO OTHER. no one was there. i barely got my things set up and wrote a note and left on the door bc i had orientation right after. and i thought like. oh okay just go pay my fees. get my schedule and leave. NOPE. i go in, I'm immediately doing a verbal interview to gauge my language abilities even tho i already took a placement test. and theyre like. cool, the class for ur level is going on. Right Now so uh. go to class. girl i was do hungry. so i go, sit in class for 3 hrs (not bad im just tired). My teacher is soooooo nice and very animated. i really like her. class is... a little higher than my level tbh. there was a lot i didnt know and it moves v fast... i feel so winded. But ik I'll be able to do it just fine. Oh yea i took the bus by myself and hhhh oh my god. the bus alone was so much. i sit down. wait for my bus. i thought i had the wrong one bc i saw a bus with my number on the opposite side and swore i was gonna miss the bus but i didnt. also i tried to give this old lady my seat and she scolded me by saying that she stands so much to keep herself healthy and then told me that i need to close my legs and sit up straight bc I'll look prettier. lmaooooo. and she told me not to be on my phone like the girl beside me. then the girl beside me asked me if i was a student and we had a conversation. she was very nice. helped me a lot she was japanese so it helped that i speak japanese a bit. there are. so many japanese students here. the guy i sit next to in class is japanese. i asked him his name but from his accent i knew he was japanese so i said "もしかして日本人ですか?" and he was like "はい! あなたも?!??" and i was like... nooo ofc not. and i explained i just studied it as a teenager bc i was a weeb. we talked abt anime. he likes bp which yk... unfortunate now but i doubt this random guy knows that whole deal. but yea, had many good pleasant conversations. tho nothing like deep connection but i didn't really expect that anyways. But yea, after i got out i was supposed to meet my cousins old roommate to get her mattress and fucking.. oh my god. nothing went right so my cousin was like... uh can u stay on campus till i get outta work and im like. uhhh thatd be 3 hrs and i rlly just wanna go back and lie down. and she didnt respond so i came back, met my roommates. which was... nice but kinda strange. there was a point they were kinda just all surrounding me and i was in a corner (like actually physically) trying to speak in half chinese half japanese. which was hard bc im just very disoriented. its been a long day and its only 7pm. but my cousin just got back to me abt the mattress. I'm meeting someone else at the dorms hopefully soon to get a mattress and then i can Finally SLEEP.... today gas been so much but in a very good way!!

[udonthreens]

top 5 disco elysium moments i have never played the game but ithink you should explain it like i know everything already anyways

anon uve triggered my autism beam

these r vaguely ranked but also i. i dont promise coherency and if i thought abt it with more brain theyd be different.

5) ok this is the last one im writing and idk. theres so many good scenes and moments and nevermind. the chair. the fucking CHAIR and evrart. it took me 200hrs to see what happens when u PASS the composure check like. tbh failing this check is basically canon. slide down it like a jello shot. again like the megarich container guy this is one of those possible early moments of 'ou this games a fucking weird comedy' and i just. best way to assert dominance with the corrupt commie boss like 'what a great display of... idek what that was' and im pretty sure u lose a rep point with kim if u fail it too like. kim dont be mad this is just my interogattion technique im not giving the rcm a bad rep i promise kim

actually some honourable mentions: lamby, boardgames with kim, joyce pale convo, kim voice dilligent boy, THE CHURCH I DIDNT MENTION THE CHURCH i love doin the dance after gettin shot its so funny. love the rave kids. shivers voice theres a hole in my heart. the fucking 'lookin to score some d girl!' bit with kim & acele thats comedy gold actually. thats brilliant. i might just start listening everything. pinball with kim when u pass it im just like. kim why dyou sound so smitten . the piss and fuck jackets. actually i really like the whole bit with the working class woman that was Devasting. even more so when i realised u could actually tell her ud look for her husband ...... i liked the jamais vu viscal pleasure wheel bit after (i think that was added with the update? yes it was) altho i dont remember specifics just. his brain reconstructin smth as idk.. smth to make him feel better? felt bittersweet. i should go see that scene again.

ok ill fuckin wrap this up. 'are u... a really good detective?' great line and not a moment per say but. the fact that jean just. hangs around the whirling for several days in that fuckin wig like, obvs he doesnt move spots bcs its a video game (despite the edc lines showin that he does do other shit) cuz u need to know where to find him. but he just fuckin commits like. the character building from all this shit for whats technically a minor character. brilliant. doesnt HE have a fuckin job to do. also titus is always in the whirling for the same video game reason so like. yes. yes to that rarepair.

3) communist book club and the tower building that was soooooo cool not to mention the fuckin hilarity of readin bout inframaterialism for the first time nd going "???? is this pseudoscience in the game or can it ACTUALLY fucking happen like wtf"

2) karoke. pass over fail tbh limbic system KILLS it (and its more lyrical spoken word doesnt fit the song nd also i thot id actually hear harrys voice during that scene and we kinda did but like thats a different tangent) and kims support 'detective du bois... it was down right tragic' and the edc or concept check? concept i 5hink that was like 'to him that represented being an rcm member perfectly' like HELLO??? kim bestie its not 2 late for a career change. AND not to mention gartes reaction to it like... u really get the feeling that he Will get rid of the machine if harry fucks it up. however i do like the pass as well bcs a) harrys had enough cringe fail b) jeans deadbeat litany of 'yeah its shit it sucked awful' like. thats how he talks 2 harry when hes being NICE its so funny. het life partners <33

4) mega rich light bending guy. AGAIN the weiss thingymay coefficent where ur like 'is this an actual Thing or is harry just fuckin insane' nd also i crit succeeded on my first playthru real early on when i hadnt seen any of the wacky shit yet nd it just. the -2 if u have the artcop thought the fuckin ultralib shit . u get like 4 ultralib points at LEAST if u pass/fail the right concept check. god not to mention kim earnestly suggesting rcm reforms like kim bestie kim kim my bestfriend kim its not 2 late for a career change. also if u get the 100 real and kims like 'ur full of surprises most of them bad but some of them good' soooo true <33

1) salami man.

[ramuoto]

TOP 10 MANHWAs

if anything good came out of 2020, it’s my discovery of manhwas. 

well, it’s not like i’ve never read a single manhwa in the past 15+ years but tbh, the ratio of manhwa:manga i consume on a weekly basis has jumped exponentially this year. previously it was like 1:99 and now it’s like 90:10 LMAO. 

so, just to remind myself that the world is still full of good things, i had to make this list. which i will probably edit in the future, if i can be bothered to. :) 

anyhow, this list was not made in any particular order, just whichever came into mind. it’s loooong so be prepared! (I’ve read way more titles than mentioned but just included the ones worth checking out)

for whoever stumbles across this list, i hope some of these resonate with you and i hope they make you as happy as they made me. 

pic credits: https://geekculture.co/geeks-guide-to-transmigration-novels-avoid-death-at-all-costs/

1. Ebony

https://mangadex.org/title/41838/ebony

Bahahah omg he looks evil there! But our dearest archduke is hardly that aww. Soz, I just ripped off the covers of the manhwa cos I can’t find a panel I liked more than another. I mean, this manhwa is a GEM. I can’t even begin to describe this because everything about it blew me away. This is not something you read when you are craving for fluff, or just wanna have something brainless after a hard day at work or if you just wanna have some eye candy lol. This is something you pick up on a weekend, when you have time, because you need those hours to digest, appreciate, clutch your chest, tear a little because you find yourself falling in love with these characters. It doesn’t have any of that cliche isekai, romance, revenge themes going on. It has a solid plot, backed by incredible characters, beautifully woven by the authors and artist with incredible pacing that keeps you on your toes and keeps you looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe I would have been happier if I found it after it was completed lol. HAVE I CONVINCED YOU ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WANNA READ IT?! like, idk, just go. JUST GO READ IT GDI. 

p.s. it says there romance but naaaaaaah, dont go in with that expectation. :) this story is so much more than that. 

2. Bring the love

https://mangadex.org/title/44472/bring-the-love

This...this!!! THIS MANHWA NEEDS MORE LOVE. If you need a lot of fluff, a little, ok maybe quite a bit of sadness and tragedy, sweet sweet romance, cutie pies, please, look no further!!! Again, pacing, character development are so important to me and this manhwa aces it. I love the 2 MCs very much. And the side characters too. :)

3.  A Stepmother's Märchen

https://mangadex.org/title/39474/a-stepmother-s-m-rchen

When I first read this, i fucking cried. like please don’t ask me why. it’s not like its an absolute tragedy but I was just rooting for the MC so much and I really want for everything to go her way. That’s how much I adore this MC!!! I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU DO NORA! HAHAHHA. okay soz. I need to keep this spoiler-free.

Anyhoo, there is nothing typical about this time travel plot. Sure, she goes back to try to undo the stuff that went wrong but phew, she certainly changed things so much everything that comes her way have made it so her previous experiences can hardly help aaaaaaand that’s what makes it fun! I sometimes wish the pacing could be a little more consistent, and there could be more characters I could love a little more wholeheartedly (so i wont have to be in so much despair when i read this sometimes lol) but omg the art, isn’t it pretty?! I’ve re-read this soooooo many times but the art blows me away all the time. And have I already mentioned how much I love her?! I LOVE YOU SHULI! AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!

4.  Lady Baby

https://mangadex.org/title/34691/lady-baby

I literally LOL-ed when I saw this cover. WHO THE HELL ARE THEY. WHAT LADY BABY?! ehehehe. okay anyway, uhm, this is already incredibly popular. im not sure if i need to elaborate but yes, it’s adorbs!!! i dont think i like the MC as much as i love her family lol. and everyone else who adores her. im looking forward to when they get older. :) actually not really. please stay cute for as long as yall can! but yeah, i do wish the plot can move a lil faster. i want to see more character development in the other kids too COME ON! 

5.  Death Is the Only Ending for the Villainess

https://mangadex.org/title/47754/death-is-the-only-ending-for-the-villainess

am i allowed to reveal how shallow i am rn? like the previous choices were all like ‘wow-deep-plot’, ‘wow-character-development’ and this one i just included cos of AESTHETICS ALONE?! the novel covers are breathtaking!!! the manhwa art is amazing as well. and the harem is great! LOL. as for plot... uhm... it’s alright. it’s pretty engaging and i quite like the MC, she’s smart and independent and i love how she views them all antagonistically at all times HAHAHHA. her past is kinda... weird though and i do wish they’d stop referencing it. cos... girl why do you wanna go back to reality!!! stay here! it’s way more exciting! 

i love the whole isekai/reincarnate/transmigration theme and this is honestly one of the better, not-so-cliche or cheesy ones HA.

6.  Beware of the Villainess!

https://mangadex.org/title/47286/beware-of-the-villainess

do you already see the whole villainess theme?! am i suppose to start feeling embarrassed about my choices?! NO! cos this one is AWESOME!

again, another wildly popular title. for good reasons. it’s hilarious, our MC is as real and candid as it gets and LOOK AT THAT BLUE HAIRED BEAUTY. DO YOU SEE HIM?! IMPLANT HIM INTO YOUR MEMORY NOW!

it’s highly entertaining and breaks all isekai-reincarnation-villainess plot stereotypes. definitely one of the titles i look forward to every week.

7.  Who Made Me a Princess

https://mangadex.org/title/32506/who-made-me-a-princess

what? why did i choose this?

BECAUSE OF CLAUDE OF COURSE. ahahaha. okay aside from the amaaaaaaazing art and the beautiful people, the plot is not too bad. a little extreme at times but it’s interesting enough to keep me going. it’s currently on hiatus though and i was highly annoyed by how the first season ended. (YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? NOTHING.)

i hope the plot can move faster in the next season! and that our dearest MC athanasia can you know, finally be a little more useful... like omg just tell lucas already!!! and tbh girl, no matter which guy you choose, i approve. :D 

8.  The Flower That Was Bloomed by a Cloud

https://mangadex.org/title/37648/the-flower-that-was-bloomed-by-a-cloud

i featured this before, mostly out of frustration HAHAHA. do you see why i chose this cover?! yeah, i support this (unpopular) pairing okay! the other one is doomed!!! no matter what the author is trying to do now!! I DONT SUPPORT IT!!! lol.

anyway, i had to feature this cos the art is unique! and the story is great. :) and i looooooove listening to the ost while i read it. it starts out kinda slow but as the pace picks up, you won’t be able to stop. and you find yourself conflicted at various points. it did win an award for a reason. 

no matter what, i still think dowun is best for her okay. it’s dowun or nothing. he’s devoted to her, we all know that! he just needs to ditch that annoying female guard!!! ok yknw what, maybe nothing is better. :/ *cries*

9.  Solo Leveling

https://mangadex.org/title/31477/solo-leveling

why do i even bother? this manhwa is popular enough. 

the art is great. the MC is great. i use him and his gang as my wallpaper. 

im just not sure i like how this season’s plot is progressing. :/ but i guess it brings us nearer to solving the mystery in the first leg of the manhwa. i just enjoyed the whole part of him leveling up and now that he isn’t really leveling up anymore... idk. am i hoping for more plot shit like bleach (oh wow now u quincy?)... idk man. anywho, no regrets starting on this series and marathon-ing it to death. 

cross fingers the plot picks up and doesnt get too complicated for its own good.

10.  The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion

https://mangadex.org/title/31606/the-reason-why-raeliana-ended-up-at-the-duke-s-mansion

okay, tbh, by the time i reached 10, i still have like 15 other series i was considering LMAO. i even considered lengthening this top 10 to top 15. but that would just be more of me and my nonsense. so... why did i choose this?

COS I LOVE THE 2 MCs!!! they’re adorable. the plot is again, kinda far-fetched at times (i literally laugh my head off at some parts) but it’s isekai-reincarnation okay! anything is possible in whatever magical crap country you end up in! lol. and i like how straightforward it is... in the sense there’s no 2nd lead. like okay i mean they are there but we all know they have no chance. oops. sorry!

and cos i can’t give up on the other titles i have, imma just list them down, without pictures... cos im tired. HA. 

11. Doctor Elise 

https://mangadex.org/title/29474/doctor-elise 

Kudos to the huge improvement in art style lmao. The good... lovable MCs, engaging plot. The bad... sometimes lengthy, incredulous medical moments (i work in the medical field so i... idk. sometimes this borders on iryu LMAO and i need to remind myself this is romance) otherwise, this is a highly highly entertaining read.

12.  Seduce the Villain's Father

https://mangadex.org/title/46775/seduce-the-villain-s-father

This is another of my ‘father-love’ whims. MC is adorable and ML is handsome. enough said.

13.  The Villainess Lives Twice

https://mangadex.org/title/49644/the-villainess-lives-twice

This is like a lesser version of Ebony and Bring the Love combined HAHAHA. The plot and premise is great and it’s awesome to marathon! I don’t find myself loving the MC as much as I should but the ML is a darling! I just find her a little toooooooo gloomy. Like come on girl, be more spunky! 

14.  The Stereotypical Life of a Reincarnated Lady

https://mangadex.org/title/46790/the-stereotypical-life-of-a-reincarnated-lady

I dont know why I like this so much HAHAHAHA. It hardly has a plot. I just find the MC and ML amusing i guess lol. 

15.  I'm Stanning the Prince

https://mangadex.org/title/45586/i-m-stanning-the-prince

Sometimes I wonder if I should be ranking this higher but I kinda feel this manhwa is trying to achieve too much with an underpowered MC. I love her... but I just don’t like how she’s just a pawn of everyone else and I dont know how she can change this situation of hers. It’s cute though. the MC and ML.  and the ML reminds me so much of american/jap Mackenyu. 

16.  The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

I HAD TO. the art is so pretty! but girl, dont use the hour glass so much! you look a little too old! i would appreciate it if MC stops basing too much of her moves on the “past” tho like idk you are gonna sound unoriginal soooooon like develop your own thoughts soon okay? <3

17. Inso's Law

ANOTHER ONE. omg. im a lil on the fence regarding this but i like MC too much. and her harem LOL. i dont see where the plot is going either but i just hope for a happy end... ):

18.  Why Are You Doing This, Duke?

HAHAHA. this is sooooo sooooooo cute, i would have ranked it top 15 if it wasnt licensed by tapas tho cos they are a joke. WHY NOT TAPPY GDI. 

19.  Miss Not-So Sidekick

Uh-oh. Is this a top-20 list now? anyway, the MC for this series is GOLD. im not liking where it’s currently heading tho thus the lower ranking.

20.  IRIS - Lady with a Smartphone

omg IVE NEGLECTED THIS FOR TOO LONG. lemme go buy more chapters hahahaha. it’s a tad too lengthy... otherwise i like the MC and yummy ML!

still not enough?

Special Mentions - Okay, these will be unranked cos I don’t think these are that good but probably still worth a read.

I've Become the Villainous Empress of a Novel - this is new, im looking forward to how it progresses wheeeee.

Lady to Queen - It’s a ruthless manhwa. There was a point i started reading all sorts of sadistic content (i was running out of content i swear) and this was one of the better ones. I appreciate the MC very much. the plot now is a little weird and im a bit wary of the MC’s sister... hopefully the ML can be more useful. he’s pitiful though. but dude come on, dont rely on the wrong gal.

Goodbye, In-law - I’m not sure if i like the current progress buuuuuuut MC and ML are cute so who cares.

The Duchess' 50 Tea Recipes - plot is still engaging. MC and ML are cute. i dont know where the plot is heading towards though. 

A Falling Cohabitation - this is interesting and fun but a lil lengthy.

Light and Shadow - the sequel is out!!! i highly enjoyed this entire series!!! i would have probably ranked it a lil higher if i did this post earlier but too many series have overtaken this in my heart lol.

This Girl Is a Little Wild - is the hiatus ending yet? i would add it back to top 20 if it came back LOL. it’s highly entertaining tho. ML is adorable.

The Duchess With an Empty Soul  - pretty nice. MC and ML are a little boring. i think it can end soon. LMAO.

A Capable Maid - it’s amusing how she gets her powers for all sorts of situations lol. the prince is creepy tbh. and im secretly rooting for the other king hehe.

Beware of the Brothers! - it’s cute and heart-wrenching at the same time! not too sure im digging the latest plot development but okay... i’ll take it. they’re all cuties.

Living as the Tyrant's Older Sister - hehehe. it’s cute. duke is kinda silly but the latest chapter made me squeal!!!

The Evil Lady's Hero  - idk where the plot is going but MC and ML are adorable!!!

The Dragon Next Door - HAHAHA. it’s hilarious.

The Youngest Princess - she’s growing uppppp noooooooooooo

Virtues of the Villainess - ginger is hilarious. i dont see where the plot is going tho... and cant say i like the ML yet. i dont even get to see him much, hello?!

The Justice of Villainous Woman - pretty wholesome... i like the MC! (the ML is fine. no one else to contend with so...) can u end already?! lol.

Amina of the Lamp - hey, what happened to this? it’s pretty inconsistent but i do like the MC and ML... and the art...

The Villain's Savior - this is some sadistic shit. i reserve it for when i feel sadistic. i pretty much wanna see MC happy but idk if she’s making the right choices. :/

I Don't Want to Be Empress! - HAHAHAHA uhm it’s getting interesting. i just want ML to step up more... 

La dolce vita di Adelaide - I FINISHED THIS! and it’s wholesome, feel-good and cute. some parts felt a lil extra but ah whatever.

The Black Haired Princess - plot. move. faster!!! otherwise the MC and ML are pretty cute.

The Abandoned Empress - im a lil on the fence but i know how popular this series is. it started out HORRIBLE. i hated the ML so much. and then i found the green hair boy creepy. like MC, you need better taste in boys. it’s certainly getting more interesting now though. so please, continue to make my money’s worth!!!

Lucia - i. am. not. guilty. of. anything. *smut warning* anyway go read the novel. it’s better. hehehe.

What's Wrong with Secretary Kim - i do not need to elaborate any further. 

Past loves 

I created this section just to remind myself, that what i could like one day, i could hate the next LOL.

The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess - I know this is wildly popular. but i lost interest in it once she grew up. i dont think she’s particularly lovable. soz.

Survive as the Hero's Wife - another popular choice. I find the plot kinda boring now. MC and ML are cute though. 

Sincerely: I Became a Duke's Maid - another popular one. again, boring plot. like cant it end yet? oh you mean we need to wait for the real female lead to show up? dont need luh.

I Am a Child of This House - wow. the plot is shit now. and i do not support the MC and her guard. soz. she’s OVERPOWERED tbh. 

This Is an Obvious Fraudulent Marriage - idk what happened but my enthusiasm for this died.

Charlotte and Her 5 Disciples - i don’t get it. i dont get their obsession for her. 

[darkicedragon]

darkicedragon on the note of the bartender au, frankenstein has to specifically tell muzaka no challenging m21. esp near the start when m21 doesnt have the cologne either that or muzakas confused why m21 doesnt even go up to talk to him and frankenstein has to explain ococo But what if it was too late and Muzaka already challenged him darkicedragon M21s ònó face was enough to let muzaka know m21 didnt want one and wouldnt enjoy it 🤣 ococo "ooooookayy! Maybe another time?" M  ònó "I guess not"

darkicedragon Yes, exactly XD ococo XD aZure depends if Muzaka or Franken know each other if Muzaka's just dropping by to check Franken bc maybe he heard about him and heard about his city and how he's keeping peace and how the place is pretty neutral bc Franken squishes any person who tries to stir up trouble Muzaka might be like 83c on one hand bc his pack might be like 'this guy's making fun of us, thinking he can defeat werewolves. gotta show him our strength' and Muzaka might be like 'ok, fine, I'll go check it out' darkicedragon both aZure Muzaka walking into the place like a pack leader, all smug and stuff but Franken gets right in his face like ^-^ 'the fuck ya think ur doing' 'so I heard you're housing runaway werewolves' 'your hearing must be going bad. I'm simply taking care of my employees.' 'it's against pack rules' 'thank goodness I am not following your pack rules, then, right?" darkicedragon >8DDDD 'and can you see any pack here, hmm?' aZure "I do see a couple a werewolves." "Oh dear, your eyes must be going bad as well if you think 2 werewolves are a pack. Either that or you really have low bar on how many werewolves pack should consist of." darkicedragon 'now, are you going to be a paying customer, or are you just going to continue being a nuisance?' ^-^ 'im not being a nuisance. im just-' 'ah good, youre a customer. what will you be ordering then?' ^-^ ^-^ aZure Muzaka at the bar like o3o with a fruity, non-alcoholic cocktail darkicedragon m21 dutifully ignoring muzaka, bc he doesnt even know who muzaka is XD aZure he prolly heard the convo and he's like =-= 'dunno who he is but he's trouble' darkicedragon 'sooooo you like it here?' 'yeah' 'howd you get in?' '....................i applied for the job and got it...................' aZure Franken eventually figuring out the city is considered his territory so when there's trouble breweing, he's like *sigh* 'are you really going to stir trouble in my territory?' Franken like |-^ 'please do not make my bartender uncomfortable or I will kick you out ~ ❤️ darkicedragon 'im just talkin!' ^-^ 'and hes made it clear he has no interest. he is here to do his job, pls do not distract him from doing it' ^-^ muzaka going back to his pack like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 'there were werewolves, but they werent territorial' 'so we can just take over? awesome!' 'iiiii dont think so' aZure 'what? we should just take over and have those guys join us' 'nope, that territory belongs to someone' 'but you said -' 'he ain't a werewolf. dunno what he is tho' aZure Muzaka waiting for M to talk to him? asks him why he won't join a pack? and M's like 'bc you all suck and packs are just about fighting and controlling the weak' darkicedragon if muzakas waiting for that, hes going to be waiting forever XDD or muzakas like, 'soooooo hows your folks?' 'i dont have any' QAQ-!!! 'you dont have a family??' 'no? whats the big deal?' aZure Muzaka hears about M's previous pack and what they've been doing and is like =-= 'hmmm' darkicedragon yussssss or ms previous pack tries to break in and grab m while muzakas there, and muzaka and frankenstein throw them out aZure YESSSS >8DDD darkicedragon which is how kentas gets called in XD aZure calling him a traitor and a coward and saying no one is leaving the pack and abandoning them afterwards Franken is like 'u need to do your job better' =-= 👉 at Muzaka cue some time later, Muzaka asks Frankne for information, bc he's got some very reliable info Muzaka dropping by like 'sooo, any news?' 'seems like the north pack is getting into some trouble with the catfolk' darkicedragon tao in the corner like owo;;;; aZure before they know it, Franken starts handing out missions with stuff that needs to be solved pack problems, territory problems, creature trafficking, etc darkicedragon yaaaas >8D frankenstein ends up being an information broker, pfft aZure and Franken's family starts growing more and more bc Muzaka just brings back to him all the bbies he helps/saves 'I know this guy who can give you a job and a place ta live.' darkicedragon and kentas has no clue abt all this bc hes a hermit and only pays attn to m21 his job to listen to anything else aZure XDDD he wuvs likes his boyfriend uwu has a moment of ✨A✨ when he sees Muzaka, the Lord, walking into the bar darkicedragon yussss m21 while wiping down the tables is just like 'go talk to him' 'but im working!' 'frankenstein doesnt seem to mind if werewolves talk to him while youre working. is he famous or something?' OAO 'hes the lord!!' 'oh. .............lord of being a dumbass or-?' 'ssshhhhh!!!' aZure OMGGG YESSS XDDD Kentas being both like 😳 and 😱 ad O//A//O 'UCAN'TSAYTHATHE'SREALLYSTRONGANDIADMIREHIM' 'want his autograph or somethin'?' darkicedragon 'whats an autograph?' '.......right. fights' //sigh aZure ... wait WAIT if M's a werewolf and has no interest in fights and stuff like that does he mean he's the werewolf equivalent of an asexual/aromantic darkicedragon yes òuó aZure yesss XDDD Franken low-key ^-^ threatening Muzaka and he goes 😳 'damn, I just met ya 5 mins ago' darkicedragon though it might be the human half not helping/interacting with the werewolf half with m21s attraction/arousal etc etc yeah, muzaka would be like that ahaha

[magic-number-3]

okay so i actually did watch a few episodes of 911 this week without liveblogging them but i did take notes as if i was liveblogging and then just,,, didnt lmao so in case anyone cares about my thoughts im going to share them anyway asdlfkjsdl mostly i think they’ll just be fun to look at later

2x02

CHRISTOPHER CAN BE ON SCREEN FOR 2 SECONDS AND I LITERALLY LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Eddie Diaz is soooooo fuckin dreamy i stgggggg

“I cant order you guys to go inside that building and im not gonna judge you if you decide not to” “Hen, you got a kid, so...” “Yeah. And I’d hope if someone whose job it was to save him they’d do it. No matter what.” QUEEN SHIT 😤😤😤

Marvin you on thin ice but you right; you a king

IM GOOD COACH HEART OF A CHAMPION WHY AM I CRYING

HEART OF CHAMP I AM CRYING AND THEY ALL KEEP SAYING IT BACK TO HIM IM- IM FRAGILE RN. LITERALLY WHY DID EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS ARC MAKE ME SO EMO

NOT HENRIETTA. FUCK

2x03

MADDIE I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU GOT THIS QUEEN

“They could really use a miracle today” “I might just have a few  of those left. I see them.” ALSKFKGKS crying why is the dialogue so good in this show???

FUCK. RUSS ITS YOUR DAY OFF

Russ gonna die im calling it. They saved the athlete and they’ll probably save the little girl?? So hes not gonna make it. At least hen is okay

“Even i couldnt save me. You dont know me, but im good.” “Oh yeah? Well maybe im better”

FUCK. I called it but it still hurts

CLOSE CALL WITH THAT ELEVATOR OMGGG

ALL OF THAT ENDING??? WE CAN BE HEROES SLAPS AND IK WE BEEN KNEW BUT ALDJFKFKSKJ everything about the end to that episode is so 👌👌👌 i wanna cry

EDDIE RUNNING TO HIS BOYYYYYYYY IM

ATHENA AND BOBBY HELL YEAHHHHH the husband is a straight g pullin thru for him like that

2x04

OMG CHRISTOPHER AND EDDIE IM 🥺🥺🥺

Also Christopher is such. Lil cutie

THEIR LITTLE FAMILY!! THE ABUELA?

“These fire guys are totally hot” LAKJDFKAL I MEAN YOURE RIGHT

AKJDKLASDJ YOU LIVE IN YOUR INVISIBLE GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE AND YOURE TELLING ME ABOUT WEAK EXCUSES. THAT SMUG LOOK ON EDDIES FACE IM ASLKFJSAL

Oh sheet Eddies abuela 😞

Every interaction between Eddie and Christopher got me like 🥺🥺🥺

Okay how are you not supposed to ship Buddie they’re talking about being single together and then his aunt telling buck about how ‘he’s a saint’ and all that??? THATS SUCH ROMANTIC INTEREST SHIT. WHEN DO YOU HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER GUSHING TO A MAIN CHARACTER AND THAT CHARACTER ISNT THE LOVE INTEREST????

HE BROUGHT CHRISTOPHER TO WORK AWWWWW!! THEYRE GOING ON A MISSION TOGETHER

Oooh I love this song STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU

“Now I feel kind of lame” “BECAUSE YOU ARE” LMAO HEN

Ooooh yeah why do you call him chim???

BOBBY AND CHRISTOPHER. CHIM AND CHRISTOPHER. THIS IS SO CUTE

AWE EDDIE AND CAP

BOY CRUSH ON EDDIE ADLSJFLDKS

Awe good for Maddie omg 🥺🥺🥺

CHIMNEY IS A MODERN MEDICAL MIRACLE???? I mean good for him bro figured lol but for it to be said out loud shittttttt

AKSFJALSDK TATIANA SHES FUCKING MARRIED YOURE KIDDING ME HOW QUICKLY DID YOU GET MARRIED AFTER BREAKING UP WITH CHIM

alkjsdskla im losing it over Tatiana

Awww now this is sad :( chim’s got noboddddddy

Sdkljfas Buck you have GOT to move out of Abby’s place dude

‘I had a life-altering trauma and her life got altered. All I got was the trauma.’ THATS SUCH A GOOD LINE SPEAK YOUR TRUTH CHIM

YOURE MY FRIEND SHES YOUR EX. YOU GET TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON I GET TO HOLD A GRUDGE UNTIL THE DAY I DIE ALSKFDSDA

Chim 🥺 awe. “Wakes me up in the middle of the night”. Buddy :( CAPS GOT YA

CARLAAAAAAAAAA HELL YEA

“BESIDES THAT PERFECT BONE STRUCTURE” SDKAFSJA

like. Fuck Tatiana. But also good for her. And Chim gets to start to move on!! That was a really sweet scene

Aw Bobby gets Athena ^-^

This was such a good fucking episode yo. Like the way the idea of being stuck had to do with the 911s lives while also all of the calls they went one were being physically stuck and the way the proposal instigated Chim’s breakdown to allow him to finally move on…. just. Excellent television!!!!

So proud of Maddie!!!! So proud of everybody this episode :)

Buck yeah you gotta move out buddy

2x05

ASKFJHASJLAD this has gotta be fake im sdlfkjsaldk

LMAOOOO THIS BITCH she’s gonna end up actually getting hurt

OMFGGGGGGGG this bitch had it coming

DONT WE KNOW YOUUUUUUUUU THE PORCH PIRATE?? ASLDKJFALKSS

What is this girls fucking problem with Maddie lmaaooooooo fuck off

Awe this lady with the muffin or whatever is so sweet. This places Celine dion 😂😂😂 queen

Lmao wait why is she actually horrible 😂😭😭

BUCKETTE LMAOOOOO

Omg Maddie and Athena are so fun

THEYRE PROTESTING HOMOSEXUALITY??? WHAT THE FUCK

HES A FUCKING RACIST TOO???

I CAN HELP YOU WITH THE SWEDISH HALF BUT I DONT KNOW WHICH HALF THAT IS SLKDFJASLK EDDIE

I love Maddie and Athena so much alsdkfj

WHATS HER FACE? EVA? STRAIGHT UP BITCH JFC

Gloria im sorry but you’re getting what you deserve.

LKAJSDALKS. “People who yell and scream and cry and expect you to do something for them” GIRL YOU ARE LITERALLY A 911 RESPONDER THAT IS YOUR GOT DAMN JOB???

“Do they ever think of anything but themselves and what they need?” THEY ARE USUALLY DYING GLORIA

“SNITCHES GET STITCHES” JEEZ WOMAN

I feel so bad for Hen and Karen :( Eva can fuck off dude. Can’t they get sharing rights with the dad? I mean yeah it sucks that Eva is just doing this to fuck em over but like.. the dad still deserves to get to know his son if he wants to. Though Eva would probably try to stay with him just to turn Denny against Hen and Karen… UGHHHHHH

Lil denny :( aw Hen. I love her sm

Hen what u doing girl…. Cant it make the case more difficult if you keep interacting with Eva?

I love Karen and Hen sm 🥺

WHAT YOU DOING HEN. ARE YOU JUST GONNA LEAVE HER???

YOURE FINGERPRINTS ARE ON HER NOW DUDE. GO BACK

Ugh I hate that she lived but it was the right thing to do….

“I save awful people every day its my job” Hell yeah girl

SHES GOING BACK TO JAIL HELL YEAH

Dont love cheering for her going back tho jail can be terrible…. But at least she’ll be out of Karen and hens lives. we’re not meant to think too deeply about this is.

LOVE MADDIE AND ATHENA

GLORIA IS THE FUCKING WORST

oh…. gloria… damn.

Cant you just share custody?? :( I mean it sucks but like… just talk to him.

“Yeah people can be awful… but not everyone is awful… but you’ll never know what kind of person someone is unless you give them the chance to show you” :(

WOW THE DAD IS THE FUCKING BEST?? HELL YEAH

ATHENA AND BOOBBY ARE SO FUCKING CUTE

Wow the last shot of the episode thats like the long shot at the dinner table with the narration was real fucking good :( im emo.

2x06

ADSLFJLK;ALSD. BUCK THOUGHT SHE WAS CALLING EDDIE CUTE BUT SHE MEANT CHIMNEY

listen. I do know what happens between those two and I am very excited.

Oh no maddies so anxiousssss

Buck fangirling over this reporter lady im asldkjflksad

“But the way they cared for me, thats what kept me alive” :( Hen :(

Omg are Athenas kids like the same age as Bobbys :(

SOMEONE SENT THEM EDIBLES????? OMFGGGGGG

OH NO CHIM IS THE ONLY ONE THATS SOBER

THIS WOMAN HAS A HIGH HEEL STICKING OUT OF HER FACE EWWWW ITS SO GROSS

DID THESE BEAUTY QUEENS SHRINK OR ARE WE SUDDENLY GIANTS ALKDSJFLKAKL

TEEN TINY THE WAY HIS VOICE FUCKING CRACKED

SDKFJSKDA THEYRE ALL FUCKING HIGH IM

HIGH BOBBY IS SO FUCKIN FUNNY

Oh no eddies upsetttttt 😂

This is fucking HILARIOUS

Oh no bobbyyyyyyyy :((((((

Awe the news piece was so nice

CHIMNEY AND MADDIEEEEEEE

Oh shes got a fucking POPCORN MAKER IM SO JEALOUS

Wow Taylor was really going to use the footage :/

“Just get a room already” BUCK NOOOO DUDE

The way bobby always fist bumps Athenas son whenever they say hello/goodbye. So fun 🥺good content right there

DONT TELL ME THEYRE GONNA ASK HIM TO BE IN THE PIC????

OMGGGGG BOBBYYYYYYY IM CRYINGGGGGG

AWE AND THE FUCKING SONG; WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU MAKE ROOM YOU PROBABLY NEVER LOVED SOMEONE LIKE I DO

[aberfaeth]

top five movies and/or top five d20 moments!! 💖💖

i will do both. thakn u sav i love yelling

movies (in no particular order except #1 which is my #1) ( please dont judge me on my taste it is good some times and abysmal at others)

1. the princess bride! this is my favorite movie of all time. i am dead serious when i say i can quote this movie from beginning to end. its one of those things where its been my favorite movie for like FOREVER so it sort of just chills out in that spot but also it is SOOOOOO GOOD it really is. 

2. into the spiderverse! changed the game of animation forever changed my HEART forever. it has such a baller soundtrack and everything about this movie is so golden from the art style to the plot to the characters to the voice actors. it made me feel every emotion on the spectrum of human emotion and it is a good movie for ANY mood at all

3. the force awakens! there was something so so special about going to the theater and seeing finn and rey for the first time <:3 it is sooooo good and also hey its super funny how they only made one sequel movie and then the rest of it is just tell me about the big bang by nina varela. super wild

4. mission impossible iv: ghost protocol. listen ok i know this is objectively probably not a very good movie HOWEVER. i think its neat. no i dont like hte other mission impossibles its literally just this one. its a mystery to me too but its such a comfort movie

5. now you see me! its the snarky found family magicians and HEISTS! and fuck rich people! and magic! and dave franco as jack wilder setting me back in my discovery of my own lesbianism by maybe a calendar year on account of the wild comphet crush i had on him in that movie gjfvkgfvs ignore that ANYWAYS its good

d20 moments (in no particular order) (a lot of this is TUC i know. i dont explain my poetry often)

1. hairy baby scene. emily and murph’s married energy, lou losing it, murph’s hairy baby dance. this was the peak of comedy. literally never another my guy

2. what are you even DOING dude if kug’s involved? yeah! Im so far back . what the fuck are you even doing dude Get outta here man! Fuckin sick dude (Im not sick ) Fuckin sick man. Youre sick! I got like uhh fuuckin Eight Youre SICK! youre sick, dude Sick! (okay so your constitution was eight?) Eight! Think about it  think about how youre Sick think about it! Cmon!  Go to bed tonight thinkin about it. Can we make you feel bad enough to take this back???? W-WHY- WHY ARE YOu doing this?? You gotta ASK yourself right now. Dude he just needs the d4s dont even trip dude. Yeah hes lookin for d4s! Oh WOW hes HOldinG UP the d6s so we can See That he’s not using- HOW MANY IS THAT??? You’re a fucking maniac! youre SICK Youre fuckin- HONESTLY? -sick man SEE somebody dude STOP THIS KINDA- GET SOME HELP- just Listen to us you Sick Fuck -JUST GET SOME HELP Sick Fuck SOMEBODY STOP HIM!!! Stop It!!!! WHERE’S THE DIRECTOR??? STOP IT 😠 Edit it out! CALL WIZARDS OF THE COAST! THIS IS- THIS- STOP!!!!!! Someone tabletop him if he drops the dice we wont take damage!!!! What weird homebrew bullshit IS THIS you FUCK??? fuckin reddits gonna Eat Your Ass About this you Know That?? yeah youre gonna Love It YOURE WHOLE ASS!! Cheeks and All Your Whole Fuckin Ass You Son Of A Bitch We’re all gonna eat your ass. We’re gonna eat your ass brennan! Youre never gonna- Eat your ass -sit again yoU fUCK (Okaaay!!!!! Uh-)

3. where is your bulb now? yes i am a zesbian (zac oyama lesbian) okay i just think he is so neat and this moment was SO powerful. like never before have i so fully lost my mind at a line of dialogue

4. my love, for you are my love, my one true love. i just think this whole speech is SO lovely and the way it did actual damage to the BBEG is so powerful and i just think siobhan thompson <3

5. end of FHFY episode two. you know the moment. you know.

[euphoria-vmin7]

Heartworm | pjm

pairing: park jimin x reader

genre/warnings: childhood friends to lovers, angst (I can’t write anything else), fluff, a shit ton of cliches, non idol! au, TOO MANY FEELZ, um does black-haired jimin count as a warning? THIS IS SOME REAL DRAMATIC SHIT

words: 26,141 (omg u need to calm tf doWN REY)

--summary: maybe you shouldn’t have believed that friendships lasted forever. after all, people change and grow before choosing a path. but maybe fate can pull a few more strings for you. especially after you realize that a certain friend means more to you than you first thought.

a/n: i dont know what to say lol....idek what this is anymore. I started this at the end of september. SEPTEMBER. I wanted to publish this for his birthday but I’m a slow ass writer. plus i didn’t expect it to get this long. i just kept writing and writing and came up with this MESS soooooo.....happy jimin day?

Heartworm

heart·worm

n. a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished. 

***

At five years old, you hurt someone for the first time. 

But you are only five years old so you aren't as strong as you think you are. You fully intend on being intimidating, but all that comes across is a whine as you shove the chest of the boy in front of you.

You had been minding your own business, enjoying your time on the playground during your regularly scheduled recess time at preschool. You were trying your absolute hardest to use strands of grass to spell out your name on the pavement. Your tiny fingers would reach over to the patch of grass next to you and pluck out a piece before laying it gently to form the letters. A small smile played on your face and your tongue occasionally peeked past your lips in concentration. 

You felt so at ease, just as any other five year old would have felt. A light breeze blew through your short hair and the sun was high up in the sky, making it easy for you to see your own shadow crouched over the art you were creating. 

You had just gotten to the last letter when things had to go wrong. 

A soccer ball came whirling down and hit the pavement in front of you with a loud smack. The force of its impact scattered the grass you had placed on the ground and it bounced away. 

You look down at the now meaningless pieces and utter disappointment blossoms your chest. Unknowingly, your eyes began to fill with tears. You stand up with tiny fists curled at your sides, looking around for the culprit. The horrible meanie head that decided to ruin your art. 

"I got it!!" you hear someone yell and a boy bounds past you. You watch him go pick up the ball and begin walking back to his friends and anger flares in your chest. 

"HEY!" 

The boy looks at you in surprise. 

"You meanie!"

"What?" he asks in confusion. You take a good look at him. He was basically your height, with fair skin and crescent shaped eyes. He had chubby cheeks and plump lips that were curved into an awkward frown. You curl your lip in distaste. 

"You messed up my drawing!!" you yell angrily, stomping your foot on the ground. He blinked. 

"W-What drawing?" he asks, now holding the ball under his arm. 

You dramatically point at the ground where your scattered grass lay and the boy squinted. He could briefly make out the remnants of some letter of the alphabet and he turned back to you. 

"Oh sorry," he smiles sheepishly. But you weren't having it. 

"That took me a bajillion hours!! You bad poopy head!!" 

He gasps at the horrid insult. 

"I am not a poopy head!!" he yells back. 

"You are!!" 

"No I'm not!!" 

"You are!!" 

"I'm not!!" he says back, now glaring at you with a childish hand on his hip. "And your drawing is so ugly!" 

You gasp, slapping a hand over your heart as though he had physically hurt you. 

"You-!" you spluttered over your words, the anger now taking over. "You are a poopy head!!"

You step forward, placing your stubby hands on his chest and shoving him hard. The boy yelped as he lost balance, stumbling back a few steps before landing on his butt. 

His head whipped up, brows furrowed in an angry frown. 

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU’RE SUCH A BABY!!” he yelled. 

Your anger fizzled out and was instead replaced by sadness and disappointment. The fact that your grass artwork was destroyed and the way this boy was yelling at you made your lip shake. More tears started pooling in your eyes. 

“Y-You’re a bad p-people!” you whimpered pathetically, raising your chubby fists to your cheeks where tears started trailing down. The boy stood up, a frown still on his face as up picked up the ball that had slipped out of his grasp when he had fallen over. 

You, having dramatic tendencies like any five year old, started crying for real, putting your face in your palms. You heard some shuffling. 

“H-Hey now,” a small voice muttered. “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry for being a poopy head. Your drawing was not ugly,” 

You raised your head slightly, your tears halting too quickly. 

“R-Really?” you sniffled. 

He smiled widely, showing off pearly white teeth with a few gaps in between. He nodded eagerly. 

“Yup!” he chirped. “The ball fell on it while we were playing. Sorry!” 

Your tears halted completely and you too beamed at him. 

“It’s okay! Wanna be friends with me??” 

“Yeah!!” he said excitedly. 

“I’m (Name)! (Last Name) (Name)!!” you smiled. “I’m five!!” 

“Ooh I’m six! And my name is Park Jimin!! Now we’re friends!!” 

***

At seven years old, you have your first crush. 

He is seven, like you, and he’s in your class. When your teacher lines up your second grade class, you hurry to stand behind him, blushing heavily and twirling your short hair around your pointer finger. 

“Jinwoo, why don’t you come solve the problem on the board?” your teacher asks sweetly and you beam as the cute boy stands up from his seat and walks up to the board. 

112 +17 = 129

His handwriting was pretty. (Though what would you know? You were still seven; even scribbles would be considered pretty to you). 

The teacher nods with a satisfied smile and Jinwoo grins proudly, making you blush from the back of the classroom. 

“Alright, that’s enough of math. Why don’t we go outside to see our butterflies for science today?” 

So, you eagerly trip over your pink sneakers and run to stand behind Jinwoo. He turns to look at you and grins at you and you turn away obviously, smiling just a bit. 

Your class, lined up neatly, begins walking through the hallways to go outside. You could count the stripes on Jinwoo’s shirt and see the slight sheen of golden in his straight brown hair. 

“We’re passing the third graders. Everyone stick to the left side!” 

You briefly tear your eyes away from Jinwoo and look to the line of slightly taller kids walking past your class. 

You catch a familiar gaze and grin. 

Park Jimin walks past you, his eyes crinkling into crescents at the sight of you. 

“Hi (Name),” he whispers as he passes. 

“Hi Jiminie,” you giggle. And then he is out of sight. 

You enjoy your time outside with the butterflies, feeling fluttery when Jinwoo laughs at them or falls into the grass along with his friends. 

Your happiness stays with you throughout recess. As you crouch down, dragging a piece of chalk across the pavement, a pair of blue sneakers run up to you. 

“Whatcha drawing?” a voice asks. You peek up and smile at Jimin. 

“A butterfly! Is it pretty, Jimin?” 

Jimin nods quickly, plopping down on the pavement. 

“Ew, Jiminie! Don’t sit on the floor! It’s dirty! You’re gonna catch germs!” you warn him, crinkling your nose in disgust. He grins toothily. 

“No I won’t!” 

But you don’t really pay attention to him. Instead, your eyes stray to where Jinwoo is kicking a soccer ball around with his friends. 

“Who ya looking at?” Jimin squints to catch the interesting sight. You don’t move and he realizes that you are indeed staring at one of those boys. 

“Why are you looking at them?” 

You look up at him with wide eyes. Your seven year old mind is racing. 

“Jiminie, you’re my bestest friend. So I’m gonna trust you and tell you a really really really big secret!” 

Jimin leans closer to you, voice quieting to a whisper. 

“What secret?” 

“You know Kim Jinwoo?” you ask him. 

“The one in your class?” Jimin inquires. You nod. “What about him?” 

“I think I….” you take a dramatic breath. “I think I love him,” 

Jimin’s hands fly to his mouth and his brows shoot up. 

“No way!! That guy?” 

You nod seriously. 

“I dreamt about marrying him,” 

Jimin’s jaws remain agape as he takes in this juicy piece of gossip. 

“Oh no! (Name), I think we’re too little to get married,” he sighs. 

“Whatever,” you dismiss. “I know I love Jinwoo and I’m going to marry him. And at my wedding, you’ll be my best man!” 

He laughs. 

“Isn’t the best man for the boy?” 

You blink before resuming your tracing on the ground. 

“Oh? Then I guess you can be my bridesmaid!” 

***

At 12 years old, it suddenly hurts to go to school. 

Perhaps it is the total disregard you had for your own image. 

Up until now, it seemed that nobody really cared about others. People were just friends no matter how one looked or dressed. 

But when you turned 12 and entered the seventh grade, everyone began to discuss being pretty and discuss cute boys and discuss who was taking who to the winter dance. 

You didn’t know it would be this way. 

So you didn’t take any care of your body image. Throughout the summer you had eaten to your heart’s content and leisurely watched as much television as you liked. Naturally, you put on a bit of weight. But you didn't necessarily know that once you turned 12 people would suddenly start expecting you to be skinny. And soon enough as the year went on, you started feeling a little bit worse whenever you looked at yourself in the mirror. You stopped wearing form-fitting clothes and instead drowned your body in bland oversized sweatshirts. Watching the girls who had the body totally pull off clothes you only aspired to wear made going to school feel like a liability. 

You push every tray of school pizza away from you despite the grumbling of your starved stomach. Looking down at it, it seemed so appetizing even with its grease, especially since you had skipped breakfast too. But one glance at the chubbiness of your thighs made you push it away without a second thought. 

That's how you had been getting by anyway. Until that day. 

A sharp smack to your shoulder made you wince. 

You quickly whipped around to see a familiar disapproving frown. 

"What the hell, (Name)?"

"What?" 

"Why aren't you eating, huh?" 

You blinked as guilt arose in your chest. Jimin's frown deepens and he quickly sits next to you. He reaches for the tray and pulls it in front of you before looking at you expectantly. 

"I don't feel like eating, Jiminie,"

He sighs. 

"Don't lie to me. You're obviously starving. Why won't you eat?" 

"Don't worry about it," you mutter, turning away from him. 

"HEY JIMIN!! C'MERE!!" a few boys were yelling from across the cafeteria. 

"You should go," you urge, nudging his elbow gently in the direction of his eighth grade friends.

“Not until you put some food in your mouth. And that doesn’t meet spit it out later!!” he scolds, crossing his arms. You pout, but do as he says. After all, you knew more than anyone, how stubborn Jimin could be. 

He smiles a bit in approval. Though his attention tears from you at the yells from his friends. 

“I gotta go. See you later, (Name)!” 

By the end of the year, you were eating meals regularly. 

***

At 15 years old, your friendships change. 

Your second year in high school had been nothing short of hell. Schoolwork had become more tedious and managing your social life became a chore. You could only wish to be one of those kids who had it all. The brains, beauty, and just the fact that everyone wanted to be around you. Unfortunately you were just average. There was nothing special about you. You could go a whole day without being at school and nobody would notice you were gone, save for the few friends you’ve acquainted over the years. You couldn’t help but keep wishing you had been likeable. 

You had been watching your friends acquire dates for school dances and bail out on hanging out with you to hang out with their significant others. But it wasn’t that big of a deal because you are still only 15 years old. 

But you also lack a close friendship. You lack a person to go to whenever you really need to rant or to cry or to laugh. 

You thought you had that, but you didn’t. 

You thought you had that in Park Jimin, but you didn’t. 

Oh, Jimin. 

The Jimin you had met in preschool had left. The Jimin you were friends with in the second grade had changed. The Jimin you knew in the seventh grade had disappeared. 

And instead in his place was this Jimin. 

This Jimin, the 16 year old Jimin, the Jimin in the junior year, wasn’t your Jimin. 

Your eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to him. This new Jimin. Just like everyone else couldn’t help but keep their eyes on him. Obviously, for he had definitely changed. 

In looks, maybe not so much. He still had the slight chubbiness to his cheeks, the same crooked front teeth, the same straight black hair, the same kind crescent shaped eyes. But he wasn’t as shy as he was as a second grader. Instead he now caught the attention of everyone around him. He was intelligent and charming. 

So naturally, he garnered positive attention. He had been his year’s class president since he was a freshman. He was one of the star members of the school Dance Team. He had won regional competitions all over Busan. He was dating Kim So Jung, one of the prettiest and most popular girls in the eleventh grade. And no, she is not one of the rude girls, but rather she is sweet and kind and intelligent. He has the best grades and plays on the Boy’s Soccer Team and he is just perfect. 

Everyone loves him. Everyone wants to be around him. 

And you are gradually forgotten. It breaks your heart. It really does. It breaks your heart that the only interaction you have with him now is an awkward smile in the halls as you pass. It breaks your heart that there are never any text messages from him, let alone calls. It breaks your heart that you cannot go to him when you need him most. 

He is not the same. Neither are you. 

He just isn’t the Jimin that you once knew. And that’s fine. People change; you know that. You cannot blame him for anything. It is not his fault. He isn’t a bad person or anything. He just has other interests and better friends. He is also older than you. Why would he prefer to spend time with a younger kid than people of his own age? 

You accept this. You decide that it is good for the both of you. It’s time you became a bit more social and enjoy yourself to the best of your ability. 

It is your sophomore year of high school that you make an important friendship. You know this friendship will last a long time. 

Your closest friend becomes Hirai Momo. She has just moved to your school and she is nothing short of a sweetheart. She is pretty and kind and loving and smart. And she is the greatest friend you could have asked for. 

You tell her everything about yourself as does she. And you are happy. Halfway through the year both of you meet Lee Jihoon. And he easily joins your little circle and you become an inseparable trio. 

Everything goes just fine, until you are assigned partners for writing a story in your Journalism class. This class, an elective, was open to all grades, and just to your luck, you got assigned to none other than Park Jimin. 

A part of you was relieved. You knew it could have been a lot worse. You could have ended up with someone you didn’t know at all. Or even worse, someone who was unkind or like a bully. 

But you got assigned to your friend. So that made you happy. 

But another part of you was slightly nervous. It had been a substantial amount of time since the two of you had spoken, and you wanted to avoid the inevitable awkwardness. But nonetheless, when you hear his name, you can’t help but smile. 

That smile faltered when you looked to Jimin. His friends were looking at him with a look of pity mixed with humor. As though they felt bad for him but also wanted to make fun of him. 

“Sorry man,” you heard one of the seniors  - Ha Sungwoon, you think his name is - mutter with a slightly sympathetic smirk. The way Jimin responds makes you almost gasp. 

“This is gonna suck,” he mutters. 

So does this mean...he is ashamed to be your partner? Or perhaps annoyed? Upset? Angry? 

Whatever the reason is, it doesn’t seem good. So when it is time for you to join him, you approach him feeling nervous, upset, and scared. 

He doesn’t say much, only a quiet “Hey,” as you take a seat. You both briefly discuss how you both will split the workload and start the project. It is quiet between you two, and you hate the fusion of tension and awkwardness in the air. You decide to be brave. You decide to be the one who tries. 

“H-How have you been?” you ask, looking up from your work to him. He doesn’t raise his head. 

“Fine,” he replies, short and quick. There is no how about you or thanks for asking. 

It is just fine. 

You are not stupid. You can understand disinterest when you see it. So you shut your mouth and continue working for the rest of class, your heart mourning the loss of a friend. 

He just packs up and leaves with his friends at the end of class, despite the two of you not finishing your work. You know that the two of you still have to discuss how you will finish. So once again you try to be brave. 

After school as you walk home with Jihoon, you whip your phone out to text Jimin. You notice that it takes a lot of time to scroll all the way down to his contact and that makes you sad. Regardless, as you find his name you type up the most formal text message you can manage, stating exactly what work you will do and what he can do and you hesitate, but click send anyway. 

You only care about your grades. Not about your partner. 

You watch the screen for a few minutes, slightly droning out Jihoon’s rambling about the girl in math class who had confessed to him earlier in the day, and await a response. 

It doesn’t come though, and your mood drops even further into a dark pit as you tuck your phone away. 

You walk with Jihoon to his doorstep, waving to his mother and politely declining her offer of snacks and head home. 

You feel weird. It was like a part of you was missing. 

Although you understood that deep inside you knew that Jimin was not going to be the same. Deep inside you had already realized that you both had drifted too far. You both had changed too much and now you knew that you would never be the same again. 

That didn’t stop it from really hurting though. 

You tried to distract yourself from thinking about him by starting up the pile of homework you had. You were sure that as you progressed into the later years of high school it would be a lot worse, but you were already so stressed. 

A couple of hours later, when you had finished graphing the last parabola, you decided to move onto Journalism. Knowing very well that you and Jimin had to work on this together, you decided to kill your suspense and check whether there had been a response from him. Turning on your phone, the home screen didn’t show any new notifications and your heart sunk. You opened up your messages and scrolled to Jimin’s name, just to check if it sent or not. Just in case. 

You wish you didn’t, because then you wouldn’t have found out the Jimin had left you on read. 

To any other person, it wouldn’t seem like much. But to you, it meant a lot. Because four years ago the two of you had promised to never leave each other on read. 

Ever. 

And sure it might have been some stupid 11 year old promise but the two of you stuck to that rule for the longest time. 

Well, I guess not anymore. 

You had lost him now. It was confirmed. Park Jimin was no longer your best friend.

In fact, he wasn’t even your friend anymore. 

You were nobody to him. 

And unfortunately, that made you cry. You cried and cried. 

People who don’t go through it wouldn’t understand the feeling. They’ll shrug it off, saying that it’s just a stupid friend. You’d find more friends, it’s not a big deal. 

But it was a big deal. 

He was your first best friend and you thought he always would be. 

Guess not. 

Your mother came home and immediately panicked seeing you in your state of tears. 

She ran to you and began to demand what was wrong and so you told her. You told her about how high school was rough and you had so much work and that you just lost Jimin and didn’t even understand why. 

“Oh honey,” she sighed with sympathy in her eyes as she rubbed your back. “I’m so sorry. I know you really cared about Jimin. I can’t believe he isn’t your friend anymore. It’s so sad,” 

You could only sniffle and nod. 

“I know it’ll take some time to get used to it, (Name). But don’t let it bring you down. You have Momo and Jihoon, right? They’re true friends,” 

She was right. 

“It might seem like it’s bad now, but you will get over it. Sometimes things don’t work out. Especially friendships,” 

***

At 17 years old, you think you are in love for the first time. He is sweet and kind and always laughing. He has a beautiful smile that lights up the room and eyes that express the happiness he always seems to feel. He is your age, with short brown hair and honey-like brown eyes. 

His name is Choi Youngjae and you can’t help but like him. 

He isn’t very popular but has a substantial amount of friends and you know that he treasures them. 

So you spend the first few months of your last year before college blushing like a schoolgirl, as embarrassing as that sounds. It can’t be helped though. 

You’ve fallen, and fallen hard. 

Jihoon thinks you are ridiculous, as he remarks almost everyday. And Momo laughs and teases you at every opportunity. You don’t mind though. In fact it makes you very happy. Because you can tell that you will have those two for the rest of your life. 

The weeks go on and all you can do is pine from afar. You like being able to do so; it reduces the stress of a confession or the likes of it. Even though a part of you is wishing to be able to date him and let him take you to the prom. But you have come to terms that it will most likely never happen and that the universe doesn't play favorites. 

But that doesn't deter your mood. With such good friends and a sweetheart for a crush you don't have much to worry about. 

Especially since you don't have to worry about seeing Park Jimin in the hallways. You don't have to worry about texting him for a Journalism project. 

Nope. None of it. 

Because Jimin had graduated last year and was probably having the time of his life in college. But you didn't want to spend time plaguing your thoughts with him. 

So instead you tried focusing on your teacher. But that didn't happen either because you were distracted once again by the familiar head of floppy light brown hair.As she assigned the next task for the class, you stood up to go sit with Jihoon as partners. 

"Okay you do these four problems and I'll do these ones," he said, pulling out his notebook and beginning to label the problems. 

You nodded half-heartedly as you begin working on the problems. 

A loud laugh cut off your train of thought and you couldn't help but smile. You knew that laugh. 

Risking a peek, you saw Youngjae laughing his ass off at something his friends had said. The same way he always did. Jihoon grinned at you knowing fully well what was on your mind. 

"Shut up," you muttered, though it was hardly serious considering the smile on your face. 

He snorted and continued working while you continued sneaking glances at your unrequited crush. 

Though, you didn't expect to be noticed. 

You almost have a seizure when Youngjae’s pretty brown eyes meet yours from across the classroom. You physically choke and began hacking and Jihoon clicks his tongue and begins smacking your back. How embarrassing. 

Though when you sneakily glance back up, Youngjae is shyly grinning at you. 

You look away to hide your smile. 

***

At 18 years old, you have your first break up. It is one month before you turn 19 and one month before you officially start college. It is nerve-wracking but also relieving because you have survived the hell known as high school. 

But that means letting go of some important people in the process. You know it’s not forever; in fact there are many methods for you to stay in touch with them. But it is sad because you know you won’t get to see them everyday like you used to. 

Your bedroom is clean, neat, and slightly bare as you survey it. Your closet is mostly empty as you have packed a majority of your clothes and transferred it to Seoul where your university is. Your father comes in and gently places a hand on your shoulder. He offers you a slightly melancholic smile and you are already missing him. 

“Ready to go?” he asks you and you nod with a soft smile, reaching up to hug him. He releases you and smiles once again before making his way out of his room. Your sister, who is going to be a freshman now, is helping your mom pack some homemade food for you, knowing very well that you will miss it. 

You take another glance around and think of all the times you’ve had in this very bedroom. 

You can remember Momo and a few other girls sitting on your bed and applying makeup for each other on the night of the senior prom. You can remember Jihoon laying on the floor with you under a horde of blankets as you watched scary movies on your computer with the lights off. You can remember playing dolls with your eight year old sister. You can remember your dad lifting you up and running around to make you feel as though you were flying. You can remember your mother gently lulling you to sleep as she read the lines of some fairytale. 

And sadly, you can remember all ages of Park Jimin playing in your bedroom. You see the six year old Jimin giggling with you when both of you are covered in mud. You see the eight year old Jimin teaching you how to dance, his chubby fingers linked with yours as he twists you around the room. You see the 13 year old Jimin sitting on your bed, a soft frown on his face as he looks down at you. His arm is securely wrapped around your shoulders and you are crying because you think you are too fat, too ugly. 

And then, 13 year old Jimin disappears into a wisp of smoke and you only then realize that you are silently crying. It is hard not to miss everything that has happened. 

You meet your roommate. She is a sweet and pretty girl named Sana Minatozaki and she is in your year. She has moved from Osaka to study in Seoul and you both decide to help each other out. 

As soon as you’re settled in, you call Momo to find out how she is doing. She is going to university in Japan, and you miss her a lot. She is still the same as always when you speak with her. You catch up, telling each other about leaving home and how the dorms were and what your campus was like. 

In the midst of the call, you add Jihoon, who is studying classical music, and talk with both of them for hours. 

A slightly sour topic is brought up. 

“Hey...how are you doing? You know…? After the…..” Momo cannot bring herself to continue, but you know what she means. It’s sweet, how much she cares for you. 

“I’m fine,” you dismiss with a wave of your hand.

“Are you sure?” Jihoon asks. “I know Youngjae meant a lot to you,” 

Ah, Youngjae. 

The first person you had ever loved. And the first boyfriend you had ever had. 

The first part of your senior year of high school was spent in dejected thoughts of an unrequited crush. But unbeknownst to you, fate was sometimes on your side. 

Well, fate had given you Youngjae, anyway. 

You didn’t see it happening. You always thought your feelings would go unnoticed. 

But it turned out that Youngjae had returned your feelings which made you the happiest a girl could be. That one day, after his friends Yugyeom and Bambam had gleefully shoved him up to you and he had shyly asked you out was one of the best days of your life. Starting then, he was yours throughout the year. 

He had been the perfect definition of a boyfriend. He had taken you on dates, helped you with homework, even took you to prom. But on your side, guilt started gnawing at your insides. As the year went on, you started feeling as though it was slightly forced. You loved Youngjae, you really did. But you didn’t feel like he was the sole reason that your life was happy and you almost felt as though you were pushing yourself through this relationship. 

It wasn’t his fault; he was nothing but a sweetheart and you loved him for everything he did. But maybe it was because you knew from early on that your relationship was going to come to an end. Youngjae wanted to go to school for Theatre and Film and you were looking into Journalism and Writing. And though both of you were planning on studying in Seoul, it still felt as though you were both traveling down separate paths. 

So, the breakup was tough. 

It had broken your heart, since you had been so in love with him for almost two years, but you knew it was for the best. Your relationship would just be too much to handle. You were both applying to different schools, had different interests, and wanted different things out of life. Besides, you wanted to first get used to college before you could maintain a steady relationship. 

You both dragged out the time leading up to the impending breakup for as long as you could. You spent the summer before college basking in each other’s company and giggling about memories that only stupid high school kids could make. It felt nice, and you suddenly remembered why you were so in love with him. 

By God, Choi Youngjae is perfect. 

But to both of you, college meant a fresh start. 

So you promised that it wasn’t goodbye. If your feelings still stayed, then maybe the future would bring you both back to each other.

Despite it all, you cry when you get home. It is a weird feeling in your chest, as though you have lost something that wasn’t quite yours. It is a nostalgic feeling, lingering somewhere in the recesses of your past subconscious, linked to someone who seems all too familiar. 

But it is kind of easy to let him go. 

That tells you one thing: 

It wasn’t really love. 

***

You celebrate your 19th birthday after 3 weeks of college. Sana, who has already become like your sister, takes you out to a restaurant that is just outside of campus. You have a lot of fun with her. She clutches her stomach as she laughs while you animatedly recall the most recent experience in your Literature class and grin at her obvious amusement. You shovel some grilled chicken into your mouth as she speaks to you. 

It is one of your best birthdays just because you feel at ease in the best way possible. Sure, there are countless assignments still waiting for you at home and you've skipped your part time job to come out tonight, but it's your birthday, and you deserve to enjoy yourself. 

The first thing that interrupts your night is loud laughter. 

Sana turns around to look at the door as a group of guys flood into the restaurant, talking loudly with one another. She turns back to you and starts up the conversation once again, ignoring the group of chattering males that take a seat in the booth by the window. You do the same, continuing with the chicken in front of you. 

"Well fuck Taehyung, I can't believe you did that!!" one of them yells in disbelief, though you can hear the grin in his voice. The voice sounds familiar, and you quickly glance to the side to see Ha Sungwoon from your high school. 

"Oh jeez," you mutter. Sana raises a brow. 

"What?" 

"I know that guy," you sigh. It's not like you had anything against Sungwoon; you had never really spoken to him. But he was his friend. 

"Which one?"

"The one in the red shirt," 

"Ah," 

You manage to drone them out and giggle as Sana talks badly about one of her professors. 

"Where is your boyfriend, Tae?" 

You look to see who is being addressed and almost spit out your drink. Because someone that attractive should not be allowed to exist. 

He has light brown hair that is parted down the side and a dark headband is wrapped around his temple, exposing his forehead. His skin is golden tan and he has dark brown eyes. His smile is the killer though; it is rectangular and you’re sure he’s charmed a million people with that smile before. 

“Shut up, hyung,” the guy mutters with a playful roll of his eyes and in the deepest voice you had ever heard in your life. “He’s my best friend, not my boyfriend. I’m straight,” 

The other man grins in response. 

“He’s probably still at the studio. You know how the idiot is about dancing,” ‘Tae’ sighs, whipping out his phone to presumably text the person in question. 

“Yup, he’s been like that for as long as I’ve known him,” Sungwoon comments. ‘Tae’ smiles softly. You turn away to look at Sana and she questions your expression. 

“People that attractive shouldn’t exist,” you mutter, jerking your head to the side. Sana laughs. 

“What, you mean Kim Taehyung?” 

“Is that his name?” you ask, genuinely curious. She nods. 

“He’s in my Filmmaking class and a second year. Really popular,” 

“I can tell. He’s way too good-looking for anyone to ignore him,” She agrees with you. “Just like you. You’re way too pretty,” you grin at her and she looks at you, appalled. 

“No way!! You’re prettier!!” 

Your jaw physically drops at her statement. 

“No way!” 

You spend the next few minutes bickering with her on the useless topic. You weren’t ugly. But you weren’t gorgeous like Sana was either. You were average. In fact, you felt as though puberty had just hit you as you graduated high school. You grew an inch or two taller and your acne had cleared up. You had grown your hair out so that it was a change from your normal short hair. But that didn’t make you much more beautiful. It’s fine; you loved yourself anyway. 

“Finally!” Sungwoon groans and you look up at the door. 

Big mistake. 

You knew that there was a chance he’d be here. You had heard from so many people that he had gone to school in Seoul. But that didn’t make it any easier to see his face. 

Park Jimin looks up from his phone, grinning at his friends. 

The amount of change you see from eighth grade Jimin is slightly shocking. 

His hair is still black, but instead of the classic ‘coconut’ hairstyle he had before, it is parted on the side, exposing his forehead and resting against his skin in fluffy strands. His skin is as clear as it’s always been (he’d always been particular about skincare) and he has grown much taller than before. While you were taller than him in middle school, now he could use your head as an armrest if he so desired. His arms were toned with muscles easily visible from the plain white T-shirt he was wearing. His muscled thighs were covered with black skinny jeans and you had to physically tear your eyes away to avoid staring. 

His smile was still the same. His eyes crinkle up into crescents when he grins at his group. 

You had gradually stopped remembering him as he moved out of your life. It had become easier to talk to him and walk by his house without waving to his mother. But now that you’re seeing him, the feeling of missing him hits you tenfold. You shakily smile at Sana as she continues to talk, thankful that she didn’t notice your moment of weakness. Though you can’t help but keep your ears open. 

Behind Jimin enters another young man who is slightly taller than him but equally as handsome. He too is very toned and he has a wide smile that brightens up the whole room.

“Oh? Hoseok hyung? I thought you said you couldn’t make it?” Taehyung grins, looking at the man behind Jimin. Hoseok shrugs. 

“Eh, I needed a break,” 

“Well don’t just stand there,” another guy at the table with Taehyung says boredly. He has mint green hair, very pale skin, and dark cat-like eyes. “Sit down,” 

Jimin walks straight past you as you turn your head to the opposite side. 

“What’s wrong?” Sana asks, leaning forward and lowering her voice to a whisper. 

“You know the one in the white T-shirt?” you ask, covering one half of your face with your palm. She nods. 

“Yeah, Park Jimin? He’s Taehyung’s best friend,” 

A sharp stab of pain hits your chest as you remember the time when that used to be you. 

“Yeah, him. We grew up together. We used to be best friends when we were younger but then…” you trailed off. Sana grew sympathetic. 

“Let me guess: he thought he’d found better friends and forgot about you?” 

“Basically,” you mutter. She waves her hand. 

“Who cares?! His loss. It’s your birthday; don’t think about that loser! Besides I get my wife all to myself now,” she winks and you grin. “Are you done with your dinner, wife?” 

You nod with a smile. 

“Yup, let’s pay,” 

She stops you. 

“AHSUSH!! WAIT A SECOND!!” then she turns to one of the staff there and nods. Then, out of nowhere, they bring out a chocolate cupcake with a single lit candle and set it in front of you. A few of the staff sing Happy Birthday, along with Sana who is screaming the song as though she wants the whole world to know that you were born today. You smile in embarrassment as she finishes the song. 

You lean forward and blow out the candle without making a proper wish. People clap and you smile at them. From your side you hear clapping too, and when you look up, both Taehyung and Hoseok are clapping. You offer a weak smile at the both of them but you can’t help yourself. 

You look to Park Jimin and meet his eyes for the first time. 

His expression is difficult to decipher. He is not smiling, nor does he smile when you look at him. He looks at you as though you are a ghost. 

You look away and smile at Sana. You do not want to ruin your birthday. 

“Thank you,” you grin at her. She nods proudly and motions for you to eat, though she too looks at Park Jimin from the corner of her eyes, and has to resist a glare. 

***

You cannot believe your luck. 

What were the odds that you would get paired up with him for a project? 

Seemingly, very high. 

Taehyung smiles at you as he approaches you after your class and bows quickly. 

“Hi! Even though we’ve been in the same class for the last four months, we’ve never talked. It’s nice to meet you! I’m Kim Taehyung,” 

You look at him warily. Why is he so nice? 

He had a reputation for being a heartbreaker… 

Nonetheless, you smile up at him awkwardly and reciprocate a lower bow. 

“Nice to meet you too. I’m (Last Name) (Name),” 

He grins. 

“I know,” 

You are tempted to ask how he knows you, but you keep your mouth shut and instead try a smile. 

“You’re a first year, aren’t you?” he makes small conversation as you start walking. You nod. 

“And you’re a second?” 

He smiles. 

“So when do you want to do this project?” you ask him, now cutting directly to the chase. He pauses to think before a small rectangular smile graces his handsome face. 

“Does this weekend work for you?” he asks and you nod. There is a lot of other work you have to do, but you would prefer to finish the project and to get away from Taehyung as soon as possible. You don’t want to risk anything with him or his best friend. His smile widens. 

“Cool. I’ll text you the address, yeah?” he asks, holding out his phone and you belatedly realize that he wants your number. You take the phone and input your digits before handing it back to him. He grins and quickly raises his phone to capture a picture of your stunned face before you can even process. 

“No!! Why did you-?! Taehyung, delete it!!” you whine, reaching forward as he stretches his hand up high. 

Curse your height. 

“I needed a contact picture!” he laughs. You groan and frown up at him. A quiet ding! sounds in your pocket and Taehyung smiles. 

“See ya Saturday, (Name)!” he tips his head and then turns around to leave as though he is the most carefree person on the planet. You are not convinced. He still has his reputation and you will not put it past him to live up to it. When you do check your phone, you can only sigh when you read ‘TAEHYUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG’ 

“Where are you going at this hour?” Sana asks from where she is sprawled across her bed. You slide your laptop into your satchel and swing it over your left shoulder. 

“I have a project for Photography so I’m meeting my partner to work on it,” you answer as you slip a pair of boots on and open the door. 

“Ah, I thought you were going on a date,” she giggles. You quickly look down to the beige sweater, black leggings and boots that make up your outfit, before quickly touching your loose hair. 

“Why? Does it look like I tried too hard?!” you ask, panicking just a little. She smiles with confusion. 

“No? I just meant you looked cute,” 

You sighed with relief. 

“Good. My partner is Kim Taehyung and I do not need him to think that I’m into him,” you say, shutting your eyes with slight frustration. Sana snorts with amusement. 

“Kim Taehyung?” she grins. “Oh, good luck with that, babe,” 

“Thanks,” you respond with a playful roll of your eyes and bid her goodbye before shutting the door behind you. As you walked out of your dorm building, you pulled up the address Taehyung had sent you yesterday. You had assumed that he would have invited you to his dorm or something similar, but from the minimal knowledge you had about your college, it didn’t seem like this address was on campus. Perhaps some cafe or library where you two could work without disturbance? You shrugged it off and started the walk, seeing that it took about 15 minutes and mentally prepared yourself for Kim Taehyung’s personality. 

After around 20 minutes of walking, you are shocked to find yourself face to face with an apartment building. It looks decent, not too dilapidated nor too lavish. It seems cozy and has a warm feeling to it that you can’t quite explain. Nonetheless, you are wary and do not want to enter the wrong place so you shoot Taehyung a quick text. 

(Name): am I at the right place??

You start pacing as you await an answer, too nervous to go to the door. After a few minutes, you get too impatient and call him instead. Three rings pass and then: 

“Ah (Name)? Sorry, I didn’t see your text!! Wait, imma open the door and if you see me, you’re in the right place!!”

You heard some muffled shouting and shuffling before the door was wrenched open and there stood a beaming Kim Taehyung. You disconnected the call and couldn’t help the small smile when he started excessively waving at you. You walked up the stairs and followed him as he began speaking. 

“Did you get here okay?” 

“Mhm,” you nod. “Thanks for asking. Is this your apartment?” 

“Eh sorta,” he grins. “I have a friend, Seokjin, who’s in his final year. This is technically his apartment. But me and a couple other guys live here too. We all pitch in for costs and rent and stuff,”

“Ohhh,” you acknowledge. “Makes sense,” 

“Yeah,” he smiles. “It’s real fun. Instead of one roommate, I have six,” 

He leads you to a door, opens it, and you are hit with an influx of shouting. A pile of shoes spills out of a closet and the smell of noodles wafts through the air. Despite the clear lack of cleanliness, you grin as you hear the boyish voices around the apartment. It must be nice, living together like this. Taehyung notices your grin and smiles to himself. 

“They’re all really nice, don’t worry,” he eases and you smile at him. 

“I’m not worried at all,” 

“Good,” he grabs your hand and tugs you forward. 

“Taehyung? Is that you?” a voice calls and from the kitchen emerges the most handsome man you had ever seen in your life. He had to be some kind of movie star or model because he literally had the most aesthetically pleasing face ever. He catches your eyes and smiles kindly. 

“Oh hello,” he greets. 

“Hello,” you bow and you can’t help but smile back at him. He just emits friendliness. 

“(Name), this is Seokjin. This is his apartment,” 

“Sorry for intruding, Seokjin,” you smile apologetically and he waves you off with the spatula in his hand. It’s then that you notice the Kiss the Cook apron he’s wearing. Except he's crossed out the Cook and wrote Worldwide Handsome in black Sharpie. What a fitting nickname. 

“It’s nothing at all. You wanna stay for dinner?” he asks and you’re tempted to say yes just by smelling the food cooking in the kitchen. Taehyung answers for you.

“Most probably yes,” he interjects and you look at him with a raised eyebrow and try to protest. “Oh shush, kid,” he swats a hand by your face. 

“I’m a year younger than you!” you argue. 

“Younger,” Taehyung stresses and you groan. Seokjin grins at the two of you and turns to go back to his cooking. 

“Well, get to work kiddos,” 

Taehyung leads to you the living room where three men are stationed. The first two look familiar and you realize that you had seen them at the restaurant back when you first saw Taehyung. One of them is lazily draped across the sofa and has the same mint hair and cat-like eyes that you remember. The second is leaning against the couch and scrolling on his phone. He is the one with the bright smile, you recall. The third is the one you haven’t seen. He looks to be your age and he’s wearing very oversized black clothing. He sits on the floor in front of the TV with a remote control in his class. 

“That’s Yoongi hyung, Hoseok hyung, and Jeongguk who’s in your year,” Taehyung points to each of them respectively. Yoongi looks up at you and nods with a small smile, which you reciprocate. Hoseok catches your eyes and grins. 

“Ah! Birthday girl?” he points and you groan with a playful smile. 

“Oh you remember that? That’s embarrassing,” 

He laughs, a sound you decide you like a lot and you smile cheekily. The last one, Jeongguk, looks up at you and smiles, and you suddenly think of a bunny. 

“Oh? You’re in my year? Cool,” he grins and you smile back. 

“Overwatch?” you ask, pointing to the screen and his smile widens. 

“Yeah,” he nods. “You play?” 

You shake your head no. “I have no clue how to,” 

“Well, Jeongguk can teach you the next time you come over,” Taehyung says, now pulling you in the direction of his room. You raise a brow. 

“Bold of you to assume there’ll be a next time,” 

Hoseok and Jeongguk laugh, the latter inputting a playful “She got you, hyung!”

Taehyung grins at you. 

“You won’t be able to stay away, sweetheart,” 

You scoff with a smile, slightly amazed that you’re already this comfortable with these guys. 

“Ah, which one of you idiots touched my computer?!” an irritated voice yells from down the hall. A door is wrenched open and out storms another man who is like eight feet tall. Okay, not really, but he is very tall. Much taller than you. 

“It was Jin hyung,” Jeongguk comments, not taking his eyes off of the screen. The man’s shoulders relax. 

“Damn, I can’t even yell at him. Hyung, please don’t touch my computer!” 

“YAH!! IT WASN’T ME THAT BRAT IS SETTING ME UP!!” you hear Seokjin yell angrily from the kitchen and when you catch Jeongguk’s grin, you can’t help but laugh. Namjoon glares at Jeongguk, who flashes such cute puppy eyes, you almost melt yourself. Namjoon groans. 

“Okay fine I’m letting you off this time,” he warns. “But next time…” he lets his threat hang in midair, but even Jeongguk doesn’t seem to take it seriously. The tall man looks to you then and smiles. His dimples, you notice, are extremely cute. 

“Sorry you had to hear all of that,” he apologizes. “I’m Namjoon,” 

You grin at him. “No worries. It was quite entertaining. I’m (Name),” 

“Well if you’re gonna come around here often, you’ll get used to it,” Namjoon comments cheekily and you laugh. 

“C’mon (Name). We should probably start working,” Taehyung smiles and you wave goodbye to the other boys as Taehyung leads you to his room. When you enter, you are a bit surprised by what you see. You never expected Kim Taehyung to be so...artistic. 

Paintings litter on one half of the room, assumably Taehyung’s side. A saxophone rests against the wall and polaroids are stuck to the walls. You can’t help but smile. The other half of the room is a bit different. A laptop and multiple notebooks are scattered across the bed and there is a whole shelf of novels that you are dying to explore. 

“Do you share a room with one of them?” you ask Taehyung, who nods. 

“Namjoon hyung,” 

You smile as you study the room and realize that these boys are probably so different from each other.  

Taehyung tells you to take a seat and the two of you began to work. 

You notice that Kim Taehyung is very easy to talk to. His reputation, it isn’t as bad as people say. He doesn’t seem like a heartbreaker and in fact, comes off as someone who values love a lot. Especially after the conversation you have with him. 

“So…” he comments randomly as he pulls up images. “You interested in someone?” 

You can’t help but be playful. “Why? Already like me?” 

“Maybe~” he grins. 

“But to answer your question, nope!” you chirp. “At least not yet. I mean I just ended a relationship before the year started,” 

“Ah,” Taehyung acknowledges. “I just finished a relationship two weeks ago,” 

“Oh?” you ask and you are about to recoil because you suddenly see the “fuckboy” Taehyung everyone talks about. You remember the rumors about how Kim Taehyung was dumping yet another girl. You remember pitying the girl he had been with and pitying all of the girls he had been with before vowing that you would never show remorse for a man like that. But he stops your thoughts with his next words. 

“Yeah, she wasn’t right for me,” he sighs, looking down and you think he looks genuinely upset. “I wish I could just fall in love already,” 

You blink. “What do you mean? If you didn’t love her, why date her?” 

“Well,” he sighs. “It’s like this. Why did you date your ex if you clearly could let him or her go?” he asks, looking up at you. You stop to think but he answers for you. “Because you didn’t really love them. Maybe you thought that you did, but if you really did, you wouldn’t be able to leave them,” 

His words are intelligent and accurate and you know it. 

“The same happens to me. I think I get interested in girls easily. Maybe because I admire people too much or I find myself liking their personalities. And no, it’s not because I just want to sleep with them like everyone says. I genuinely care for the girls I sleep with because I did genuinely think I loved them,” he admits and you listen attentively because as much as you don’t want to believe it, Kim Taehyung is telling the whole truth. “So yeah, maybe people think that I’m some kind of fuckboy and I sleep around too much. But I have never once dated a girl with the intention of getting in her pants. I’ve always dated a girl because I loved her but I break up with them because I realize that I was wrong,” 

You want to protest against everything he has revealed but it all makes so much sense and it is all too relatable. Why did you break up with Youngjae if you really loved him? And if you really did love him, you wouldn’t let distance or separate interests be a reason for breaking up with him. If anything, you’d fight to stay with him. Right? 

So you smile up at Kim Taehyung and say: “I understand,” 

It doesn’t seem likely, but after that conversation, it is so much more easier to talk to Taehyung. As you both organize the snapshots across the floor, you animatedly recall something funny that happened in high school and he eagerly recounts an embarrassing experience from a middle school play. You laugh and giggle and you wonder how someone so sweet can have such a bad reputation. You are happy to have made a friend. A few hours later, Seokjin’s voice calls for both of you to come for dinner. It is then that you realize it is nearing 9:00. You have stayed very late, but you don’t really want to leave. If Taehyung is as nice as this, you are curious to get to know the other boys. So when he asks if you want to stay for dinner, you shyly agree. When you walk to the table, you take a seat in between Taehyung and Jeongguk and look to Seokjin. 

“I’m really sorry again for intruding, Seokjin,” you say sheepishly to the eldest. He clicks his tongue. 

“Oh, stop apologizing and eat, kid,” his casual tone makes you grin and do as he says. Dinner is filled with bickering and laughs, and it evokes a fuzzy feeling in your chest. So, this is what it’s like to be best friends? Best friends that are close like family. The feeling stays as Seokjin starts berating Namjoon for breaking his cup and as Jeongguk accidentally splashes chili paste on Hoseok’s shirt. You are so happy. Seokjin packs up some leftovers as Jeongguk whines for dessert. He wants ice-cream, and as soon as he says it, you start craving it, too. It doesn’t take much for the male with the bunny smile to convince you, and then you join in on the pestering of the eldest. He gives in eventually, despite his protests, but ends up piling the most scoops into his bowl, ignoring Jeongguk’s cheeky smirk. 

“What time do you have to leave, (Name)?” Yoongi asks as he seats himself on the couch, watching you shove a spoonful of ice-cream into your mouth with a small smile. 

“Well, I technically should have left way earlier,” you admit and the mint-haired male chuckles. 

“Wanna stay for a bit longer? We normally watch movies on Saturday night no matter how stupid they are,” Yoongi doesn’t seem like the type to really enjoy spending time around new people, so you are very flattered at his words and agree to watch with them. 

“I probably won’t stay for the whole movie though,” 

“Just stay for a bit then,” the second-eldest mutters, cuddling into a blanket and Hoseok laughs from his spot on the floor. 

“Wow, Yoongi hyung must really like you, (Name). He’s never this nice,” 

Yoongi shoots him a withering glare. “Well she’s definitely less annoying than you are,” 

Seokjin, Jeongguk, and Taehyung laugh at his statement and you can vaguely hear Namjoon complaining about the tiny bit of ice-cream you all had left for him.

Soon enough, you all are settled and Up is playing on the screen. Jeongguk has volunteered to share his ice-cream with Namjoon, which is funny because he seems like he doesn’t share very often. You can’t help but smile as you hear Taehyung sniffle when Ellie dies and Yoongi yells an exasperated: “You cry at this scene every time! We literally just watched this movie last month!”

You cannot wait to tell Sana how happy these boys make you feel. 

About half way through the movie, when your bowls are all cleaned and you are sleepily leaning against Taehyung’s shoulder, you hear the sound of the front door open. 

“Finally,” Seokjin complains. “It took you long enough. Why do you even live here? You might as well live in the studio, you punk!!” 

A tinkling laugh rings from the hallway and you hear the shoe closet close. 

“Ah, you know I wouldn’t be able to live without you guys~” a voice sings, and you can hear the smile in it. It is very familiar and you know it and your heart speeds up and you want to leave. Footsteps approach the living room and you hold your breath. 

“We wouldn’t miss you,” Yoongi comments, eyes still trained on the movie. The person laughs again. 

“Love you too, Yoongi hyung,” 

And in walks the one reason everything will be ruined. In walks Park Jimin, in all his smiling glory. Your chest constricts and you have to remind yourself who this is. He is grinning though you can see the fatigue in his body. He is wearing a black T-shirt that is slightly damp from sweat and his black hair is messy across his forehead. His eyes shine with mischief and the feeling of nostalgia rises in your chest until it suffocates you. His kind brown eyes-like chocolate they are-scan the scene in front of him with indescribable softness. He is looking at his entire world. Until he stops at you. You wish you could disappear when you see that expression change. The light leaves his eyes and his pretty smile drops. His lips part and his shoulders sag and you feel almost ashamed without a reason. 

“You missed hanging out with (Name), Jiminie,” Taehyung says innocently and you have to stop the gasp. Jiminie. Jiminie was your nickname for him.

“(Name), this is the last member of our little family, Jimin. Jimin, this is (Name),” 

You can’t bring yourself to speak and neither, it seems, can he. He looks away from your misting eyes, and you have to swallow the growing lump in your throat. (Name), you idiot. Why are you so upset?

“It’s nice to meet you, Jimin,” you mumble and his head shoots up to look into your eyes and you feel exposed and fake and disgusting. But why? You didn’t throw away this friendship. He did.

You don’t wait for his answer and instead throw the blanket off of your knees before standing up quickly. Jeongguk, who had been sitting at your feet, raises a brow. 

“Where are you going, (Name)?” 

You laugh awkwardly, your voice becoming thick with unshed tears. 

“Sorry, Jeongguk. It’s really late and my roommate is pretty worried. Plus, I said I’d stay for dinner and now the movie’s practically done. I should head back home,” you make up a lame excuse and want to kick yourself for throwing away your time with these boys. “Thank you guys for having me,” 

“You can stop by anytime,” Seokjin says gently, standing up and helping you drown out Taehyung’s whining for you to stay. “I mean it, kid,” 

Though his smile drops a little when he sees the liquid pooling in your eyes. “Hey, are you--?” 

“I’ll try to stop by whenever I can,” you smile, trying to mask every single stupid thought in your head. “Thank you, Seokjin,”

You try to get him to drop the topic when you utter those words, hoping it gets through to him. He studies your face, his eyes worried, but seems to get it and nods. 

“Of course,” 

“Bye guys,” you say, and then turn to the door, not bothering to listen to their farewells. You pass by Jimin, but don’t meet his eyes. You don’t have the courage. 

You can’t help but cry to Sana when you open the door of your dorm room. You can’t relay any of the positive things that had occupied your evening but instead you spill everything about the one negative thing. Sana tries to calm you but she can now see how one measly friendship has affected your whole life. But she poses two questions that are important and make you think: “Do you really think that your friendship with Jimin should affect how you are with the other boys? Is it really worth it?”

And she is right, it is not worth it. You will not let go of six sweet people for one person who didn’t keep an unspoken promise. And with that vow to yourself, you drift off to sleep, your dreams filled with cat-like eyes, bunny smiles, and dimples. 

You are not surprised when Kim Taehyung takes a seat next to you after class on Monday, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“What happened on Saturday, (Name)?” he asks and you don’t really know how to respond. 

“What do you mean?” you chuckle awkwardly. “I told you I had to leave,” 

“Bullshit,” he dismisses and you sigh. “You were upset. What is it about Jimin that makes you upset?” You look at him with wide eyes and he breathes out. “I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t notice…” 

You gulp at the slightly upset expression on his face. “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have brought you home without telling you about the guys. I just assumed that there wouldn’t be any problems and I-” 

It takes you a minute to realize that he is blaming himself and you hurry to stop him. 

“No no, Taehyung! It’s not your fault or anybody else’s fault, okay?” He doesn’t look very convinced, but then in the softest voice he can muster, he puts a hand on your shoulder and asks “What is it, (Name)? What’s wrong?” 

And you trust him. You really do. “Let’s go get some coffee. I’ll tell you everything,”

So you spend about two hours sitting across from Taehyung as he listens intently. He takes small sips from his hot chocolate as you tell of the childish Park Jimin you had come to rely on. He watches you trace indistinguishable patterns on the cup of your caramel macchiato as you recount the heartbreak you had felt when Park Jimin disappeared from your life altogether. At the end of your story, you sit in front of him, feeling miserable and wondering why you ranted about Park Jimin to his best friend. You’re half expecting Taehyung to yell at you and tell you that he never wants you near him or the boys again. But, as usual, Kim Taehyung is full of surprises. 

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, (Name),” Taehyung says sympathetically. “Jimin can really be an idiot sometimes,” 

You scoff out a laugh. “Tell me about it,” 

“And what he did was horrible,” Taehyung continues. “But I promise you from the bottom of my heart that Jimin is not a bad person. From what you told me, I think he genuinely cared about you,” 

“Then why did he just cut me off like that?” you question. 

“Listen, I’m not gonna defend what he did. It was stupid and immature. But I think most teenagers are at that age. I mean, the fact that he continued to be your best friend throughout middle school just shows that he cared about you. And maybe once he went to high school, he just found new friends. Maybe he didn’t mean to cut you off but it was just hard to reconnect with you. And if he did do it purposefully, it was probably because of peer pressure. At that age, a guy and a girl can’t be just friends. It always means there’s something more. Maybe he was trying to avoid that. And I know that doesn’t give him an excuse and that doesn’t make it right. I’m just trying to give you some closure and help you figure out why it happened. I mean I’m sure there's been a time where you’ve been influenced by those around you,” You think back to seventh grade and nod hesitantly. Taehyung smiles sadly. 

“I’m not telling you to forgive him. Heck, I’m not even telling you to forget about it. But I don’t want this thing to affect you like this. I don’t want you to come over and be reminded of what happened. And I don’t want to see you upset like that everytime you see his face. Whether you like it or not, you’re with us now. Don’t let one friendship define how the rest of your friendships will be,” he finishes and you don’t even realize that you’re tearing up until you are hugging him with everything in your being. “And who knows, maybe if you show that what happened doesn’t bother you, that idiot Park Jimin might get some sense knocked into him and realize what kind of a friend he missed out on,”  

You manage a smile and nod, knowing that Kim Taehyung is right. Both he and the other boys are worth it. 

The following weekend seems almost like deja vu. Sana once again is sprawled across her bed watching you carefully as you tug on a knitted sweater over your black jeans. This time, there is no need for a bag so you just tuck your wallet and phone into your back pockets as you smooth down your hair. 

"And where are you going, missy?" Sana asks as she pulls up the latest show on Netflix that she had been invested in. 

"I'm going to hang out with Taehyung and the other guys at their house," you reply and catch her brow raise. 

"I knew you'd fall for Taehyung eventually," she sighs and you laugh. 

"I haven't," you grin. "Don't worry. You know I would never leave you," 

"You'd better not," she laughs as you tug on your boots and walk to the door. "Text me if you decide to come home or not!” 

You feel confident and not too nervous and you walk to Seokjin’s apartment. In fact, you are sort of excited. You are excited to hang out with the boys and you are excited to look into Park Jimin’s eyes and show him that you are not hurt by him. You want to get past this. You don’t have the intention to make him feel guilty about what he did. How can you blame someone for finding new friends? It is a natural process. And sure it hurt a lot, but no matter what, you still care about Jimin and you can’t bring yourself to hate him just because he isn’t your best friend anymore. With those thoughts in mind, when you reach Seokjin’s apartment, you don’t hesitate to knock on the door. From inside you hear the man yell: “(NAME)’S HERE GET THE DOOR!! JEONGGUK-AH OPEN THE DOOR!!”

You can’t help but grin at the eldest’s words, and smile wider when you come face to face with Jeongguk’s beaming face. 

“You made it!” he smiles, and opens the door wider for you to enter. You nod. 

“Yeah, I couldn’t stay away,” you reply and his bunny-like grin turns into a smirk. 

“You like me that much, huh?” You blanch at his statement before giggling. 

“Wow, you sound exactly like Taehyung,” 

He laughs. “Yeah, but I’m way hotter,” 

You nod with a serious expression. “Way hotter,” 

The two of you walk into the living room where Hoseok and Namjoon greet you. It is easy for you to relax with them. You plop on the couch and begin to complain to them about the annoying boy who sits next to you in Journalism and smile when Seokjin starts cursing him out. 

“Hey, where’s Yoongi?” you ask, missing the mint-haired man’s occasional snide remarks.

“Probably producing some shit at the studio,” Seokjin replies and tosses you his phone. “Call him,” 

You grin and do as told, once Namjoon told you that Seokjin’s password was 1234. You scroll for Yoongi’s contact and call him, putting him on speaker. 

“Hyung, you know I’ll be home soon,” his voice says from the other end. 

“I’m not your hyung~” you grin. 

“Oh, hey (Name),” 

“Hey Yoongi,” 

“Are you at the house right now?” 

“Yeah, I kinda missed you so I wanted to see what you were up to,” 

“Is this just a way to get me to stop my work?” 

“I don’t know, is it working?” 

“.....You sound exactly like Jeongguk when he calls to get me home,” 

The male mentioned winks at you and you snigger. “Are you coming or what, hyung?” Jeongguk yells into the phone and Yoongi sighs. 

“Fine, I’ll be there soon,”

The line goes dead before you can get another word in and you laugh. 

“You know, he acts like he hates us but I’m 100 percent sure he loves spending time with us,” Taehyung says and the others easily agree. The front door then opens and you hold your breath. It’s Jimin. 

Except instead of the smiling male, a pretty girl walks in. She is most definitely older than you, with her straight brown hair and bangs covering her forehead. 

“Hey guys,” she greets, tucking her keys into her purse. 

“Hey noona,” Jeongguk replies, his eyes glued to Overwatch just like the last time you visited. 

“Is that Eunji?” Seokjin asks and she laughs. 

“Yes! Hi, Seokjin!!” 

He yells back a greeting and she looks at you and smiles. 

“Hi, I’m Jung Eunji, nice to meet you,” she introduces politely and you reciprocate. 

“I’m (Last Name) (Name). It’s nice to meet you too,” you smile. 

“She’s in my year,” Jeongguk comments and Eunji nods. 

“Cool, I’m in Yoongi’s year,” at your acknowledgment she smiles once again. “I’ll be right back,” 

As soon as she leaves, you turn to Taehyung, who looks a bit irritated. “Is that Yoongi’s girlfriend?” you ask, and Taehyung laughs as the front door opens. This time, it really is Jimin. He looks different from last week. His eyes are sunken in and he looks like he will pass out any time soon. But he is still handsome, and manages a small smile. 

“Jiminie? Is that you?” Eunji calls from down the hall before she approaches him. And there is the use of your old nickname once again. “Hey baby,” she whispers as she walks up to him and places a hand on his cheek. 

“Hey noona,” he mumbles, closing his eyes at her touch. 

“Nope,” Taehyung mutters from your left in response to your previous question. “She’s Jimin’s girlfriend,” 

And when you look to the scene in front of you, watching Eunji press her lips to Jimin’s gently, you feel an overwhelming disappointment rise up in your chest. It appears out of nowhere, rising and rising until it settles as a hard lump in the back of your throat. The feeling is faintly familiar, lingering in the crevices of your subconscious, a memory that does not want to be revisited. 

“Oh,” you mutter. It is all you can manage and Taehyung doesn’t say anything about your tone. If he notices, he doesn’t choose to comment on it. 

“Jeez, babe,” Eunji mumbles, dragging her thumb across the bags under Jimin’s eyes. “How long have you been working yourself?” 

Jimin doesn’t reply as his eyes settle on you. You feel your hands start to sweat, but remember the pep talk you had given yourself earlier. You give him a small, unsure smile and he continues to look at you. Eunji doesn’t seem to be expecting a reply either, because she wraps her arm around Jimin’s waist and starts walking him towards his room. 

“C’mon, you should at least take a nap,” you hear her voice fade as she shuts the bedroom door. Your shoulders sag unknowingly. You hear Taehyung scoff as Seokjin walks into the living room with food. 

“Oh Kim Taehyung, you big baby,” he rolls his eyes, munching on some Doritos. “Stop it now,” 

“Stop what?” you ask, looking between the two. Taehyung’s brows are furrowed and he sticks his lips out into a pout. 

“I can’t help it. I don’t like her,” he whines. Hoseok rolls his eyes as he watches Jeongguk play, the black-haired male also listening in on the conversation. 

“She’s a sweetheart,” Hoseok sighs as you hear the front door open once again. Yoongi walks in, looking tired as hell. He throws his bag in the corner and plops next to Namjoon, who is intently reading, while running his hand through his mint-green hair. 

“She seems pretty nice,” you agree, looking at the male next to you. 

“Yeah, I know,” Taehyung mutters dejectedly. “I just--...you really don’t see how they don’t go together?” 

“You’re the only one who really has a problem with it,” Seokjin shrugs. “Besides, Jimin’s an adult. He can take care of himself,” 

“I guess,” Taehyung sighs. “They’re just….I don’t know…” 

“How long have they been dating?” you ask, trying to keep your tone light. 

“Like six months?” Yoongi answers. “They started dating around when school started,” 

“Yeah, and they haven’t really had any problems yet. I don’t see why you’re so skeptical of her, Tae,” Namjoon inputs. 

“The thing that bothers me is that Jimin always tells me who he’s interested in. And he’s the type of person to take his time falling for someone. He wants time to really know them before he asks them out and stuff. But he never mentioned that he was interested in Eunji,” Taehyung tries reasoning. Jeongguk seems to understand. 

“It seemed kinda impulsive, right? To date her?” the ravenette asks and Taehyung eagerly nods. 

“That’s exactly right!” 

Yoongi ponders this. “Yeah I can see where that’s coming from. But we don’t really have any choice. He’s obviously still into the idea of dating her so we might as well live with it,” 

That night as you head home after finishing Iron Man 2 with the boys (it had been Jeongguk’s turn to pick), you thought back to what went on. Jimin had never joined you all and at first you had feared it was because you were there, but Eunji informed you all that the man was just too tired and had been overworking himself throughout the last week. She then joined you and for some reason, your mind kept looking for things to dislike about her. Maybe her voice or her hairstyle. You couldn’t find one flaw and you instead you find yourself wanting to talk with her and laugh with her. She seems like a great girl, and you are thankful that your best friend has someone like her, even if he is not your best friend anymore. 

Months pass by as the last flurries of snow fall to the ground and the first buds of the spring season began to grow from their soil. You continue to hang out with the boys, getting closer and closer to them until you’ve adopted one of Jeongguk’s sweaters as your own and Seokjin has given you your own mug for whatever you want to drink. You don’t see much of Jimin around the house, since he does practically live at the studio. Taehyung tells you that he has a very important dance competition coming up at the end of the year, so he wants to work hard. You are a bit surprised to hear that it is for hip hop. The Jimin you knew used to do contemporary dance. 

But Jimin working hard does not mean you don’t see him. The first time where all of you had hung out, it had definitely felt awkward. Neither of you could start a conversation with one another. But you decide to be brave and just smile at him, gradually moving to ask how his day was, even as you feel Taehyung’s proud smile on you. The black-haired male is surprised, you can see, but he manages to smile back at you and be polite. The smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

This time around, Sana is dressing up with you. “Too much?” she asks, pulling a sparkling red dress out of the closet. You laugh. 

“Yeah, too much. It’s a party at a house, Sana. People will literally show up in jeans,” you grin as you slip on a ruffled long-sleeved dress. 

“True,” she shrugs and pulls out a much more simpler skirt and top to which you flash a thumbs up. After getting dressed, you and Sana go to the house where the party is taking place, Ha Sungwoon’s house, you think. The boys had all told you to come. The house is filled with people and music echoes out of the opened doors. This is your first official party and you can’t help but be a little nervous. Sana is surely the same, so you both cling to each other until you can find some familiar faces. You see quite a few people in your year and in your classes, but you are only, at most, acquaintances, and so you do not want to bother them. Sana finds a few girls she knows, Nayeon and Jeongyeon you think their names are, and tugs you to them. You try to make small talk with the girls, knowing fully well that they are sweet, but you feel out of place. So all while soothing Sana’s worried concerns, you slip away from the trio and begin searching for the boys. You first catch sight of Taehyung, who is sitting on a couch looking extremely bored as a girl tries to chat him up. You want to laugh at his expression, but take pity on the guy and saunter up to both of them before grabbing his arm. 

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you~” you bat your eyelashes up at the male, who’s unimpressed expression tinges with realization. The corners of his lips twitch upwards and his eyes flicker towards the confused female who had been flirting with him. 

“Ah sorry baby. Let’s get you a drink, hm?” he gets up and tugs you out of eyesight as fast as he can while you chuckle. He is laughing happily when he turns to face you. “You are a savior sent by heaven, (Name). Thank you,” 

“Hey no need to thank me. Can’t have my best friend not getting that perfect love he’s always talking about,” you laugh but Taehyung stares at you, his eyes softening and a gentle smile overtaking his handsome face. “What?” you giggle. 

“You called me your best friend,” 

You pause. You did, didn’t you? You refused to have a real best friend after what happened and how much it affected you, but there, you went and said it. You said it to Kim Taehyung and you feel great about it. 

“Yeah, I guess I did. Love you, Tae Tae,” you say, and he smiles so wide it basically blinds you. Your heart feels like it’s mending. It feels nice. Taehyung is glomping you in the next second, very happy. So much that you can feel his smile radiating off of him. 

“Ok, let’s actually get drinks,” Taehyung grins and tugs you off into the crowd. A bit later, you find a comfortable seat with your drink, slightly away from the main crowd but close enough to ensure you don’t look awkward, since Taehyung said he was going to go find Namjoon. You watch Seokjin loudly playing a very uncoordinated version of Beer Pong as the people around him cheer him on, and you can’t help but laugh. Soon enough, Jeongguk joins you and helps you laugh at the eldest as the two of you take slow sips of your drinks. You began to chat with him, finding comfort and familiarity in the male’s presence. In the midst, he gets up and gets you a refill and as you down the drink you start to feel just a bit tipsy, but nothing too dangerous. After your third drink...or was it fourth? Well anyway, after drinks, you and Jeongguk are stumbling around like hyperactive third graders. The two of you end up plopping down on stools and Jeongguk puts his head on the counter, grinning sleepily. 

“Are you drunk, Gukkie~?” you tease, unaware that you are just as drunk. 

“Nah,” he slurs. “I’m a man. Men don’t get drunk,” 

“You’re still a babyyy~~~” you tease, ruffling his wavy hair and he frowns. 

“You’re my age, (Name),” he retorts as his eyes start shutting. 

“Are you sleepy?” you suddenly whisper, leaning close to him with wide eyes. 

“Nah,” he mutters. “I’m a man. Men don’t get sleepy,” 

You giggle, but when you look back, Jeongguk is fast asleep. You sigh and smile at the male, not having it in you to leave him alone. You start taking slower sips from your drink and scroll through Instagram to kill time. In your drunk state, you manage to take shaky videos of Jeongguk mumbling nonsense in his sleep, knowing that it would serve for great blackmail material in the near future. You’re about to text Taehyung to tell him that you want you leave when someone plops in the seat next to you. You blink in surprise at Park Jimin’s figure. He turns to you and gives you an almost smile.  

“Jeonggukie giving you trouble?” he asked, taking a sip of his drink. You shake your head. 

“Nah. He’s been asleep for a while. I didn’t really want to leave him alone,” you answer, feeling slightly nervous. Though, the alcohol in your system is not filtering many of your words. “I was just gonna text TaeTae and tell him that I was way too bored,” 

Jimin chuckled. “What? This party isn’t fun enough for you?” 

“Hell no. What’s so fun about a bunch of sweaty drunk people making out with each other?” You take a big gulp of your drink as Jimin laughs. “Where’s Eunji?” 

Jimin’s chocolate orbs roam around the room. “Not sure. I think she was with her friends the last I checked,” 

You make a sound of acknowledgment before the conversation dies down and an awkward silence ensues. You are contemplating getting up and making a beeline for Taehyung, who is standing on a table and loudly singing Fiction by Beast, but someone decides to break the silence.  

“Oh my god, (Last Name) (Name), is that you??” a feminine voice rings out. You look up to see a familiar face and smile. 

“Somin!” you greet excitedly, looking at the girl in front of you. “How have you been??” 

She grins. She hasn’t changed much since high school except that she has dyed her hair blonde.

“I’ve been good!! I had no idea that we went to the same college!!” 

“Me neither! Small world, huh?” you laugh. She nods. 

“So what’s new?” she asks. “Are you still dating Youngjae?” 

She is being polite, but you still at the bitter subject. She sees your expression and hesitates. 

“It...was Youngjae, right? You dated him when we were seniors?” 

You chuckle awkwardly. 

“Yeah…” you rub your palms together. “Yeah, we dated but we broke up before summer ended,” 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” she looks genuinely apologetic and you laugh, waving a hand dismissively. 

“It’s fine,” 

Her eyes move to Jimin and she smiles. 

“Oh, hello...Jimin right? You were in the grade above us?” 

Jimin is very quiet, looking at you with an unreadable expression but he soon smiles at her politely. 

“Yes I was,”

She smiles at him and then turns to you. 

“Well it was nice seeing you! We should catch up later!!” 

You nod eagerly and wave goodbye to her. After she leaves, you have no idea how to start up a conversation with Jimin. He is looking off into the distance in deep thought. You take another gulp of your drink. 

“(Name), I feel hella drunk…” Jeongguk groans from your side. You laugh loudly. 

“You are drunk, Gukkie~” 

“So are you,” he mumbles. 

“You’re drunkerer than I am,” you grin proudly and Jimin snorts from your other side. 

“Not a real word, (Name),” 

“Yes it is!!” you pout at him, feeling more talkative than you had in a while. 

“Oh really?” 

“Yup, any word that I make is real!!” you giggle and Jimin chuckles with a shake of his head. 

“(NAME) I DARE YOU TO LICK YOUR ELBOW!!” Jeongguk randomly yells, shaking both of your shoulders back and forth. 

“You can’t--” Jimin starts but pauses when he sees you rolling up your sleeve. “(Name), you can’t be serious...” 

And then you proceed to put every fiber of your being into licking your elbow. You obviously are failing, and Jimin can’t help but laugh. Neither can Jeongguk. 

“You try it then!” you yell with an indignant pout before downing the rest of your drink. The bunny-like male smirks confidently. 

“Fine, sweetheart. But I’m the fucking Golden Maknae!” he yells as he pulls off his jacket and hands it to you. He attempts licking his elbow and Jimin is so entertained by the struggle of the self-assured male. 

“Golden Maknae??” you ask in the most confused voice ever. Then you break out into a fit of raucous laughter. “That’s the stupidest nickname I’ve ever heard!!” 

Jeongguk stops licking air and looks at you with the most appalled expression and Jimin loses all sense of self-composure as he starts laughing. 

“You little-!” he starts and then he starts wrestling with you as you shriek and giggle. “C’mon hyung, help me get her!!” 

Jimin bites his lip and then eventually helps the male hold you steady. Jeongguk reels his middle finger back and lets it go, creating a loud thwap! as it hits the skin of your forehead. Jimin has tears in his eyes as he laughs, and despite your complaints of pain, you are giggling too. 

It is fine. It is all fine. It is good. And for once, it feels like everything is back to normal. You are so happy in this moment. But then you start thinking, and despite your giggles, a lump lodges itself in your throat. 

“Oh god, you both are so stupid,” Jimin chuckles gently. You lean back against Jeongguk’s shoulder, a pleasant buzz thrumming through your veins, and with a soft giggle you ask a question that ruins everything. 

“Do you even remember me, Jiminie?” 

Jimin’s chuckles die down and he looks you straight in the eyes, his lips parting just a bit. You are sure you look like a mess in your drunken state and you know your eyes are going to start watering soon. 

“What do you mean ‘remember me’?” Jeongguk mumbles cluelessly from behind you but you don’t answer him. You are waiting for an answer. You don’t seem to be getting one though, since all Jimin does is look down at his lap, clear his throat, and take a sip of his drink. 

That doesn’t sit well with you at all. Maybe it is just the alcohol or maybe it is because you’ve been pretending that he didn’t affect you all this time, but whatever it is makes tears pool in your eyes. You feel pathetic and you don’t want to cry over this but your emotions are all over the place. So all you can manage to do is stand up shakily and get away from there. You can hear Jeongguk’s yells from behind you, but you don’t care. All that is running through your mind is that Park Jimin cannot see you cry. You are too confident and it will most definitely bruise your pride. 

Taehyung is now in the middle of single Sherlock by SHINee but as soon as he catches sight of your face, he stops. He quickly hands the microphone to Seokjin, who is looking at you with concern, and gets down from the table to stand in front of you. 

“What’s wrong, (Nickname)?” he asked frantically, cupping your cheeks in his palms. 

“Can we please go home, TaeTae? I don’t want to be here anymore,” you mumble and Taehyung immediately nods. He turns to tell Hoseok and Seokjin, who both nod quietly before he gently takes your hand and pulls you to the door. He doesn’t say anything at all, which you are extremely grateful for, and he walks next to you in silence. The air is cold and you feel exposed and vulnerable. You are aware that Taehyung is quietly waiting for you to explain yourself and in that moment, you get so irritated. 

“UGH THAT JERK!!” you suddenly yell out into the winter air. Taehyung takes a step back in shock. 

“Who?” he questions. 

“FUCKING PARK JIMIN!” 

Taehyung groans. “Oh what did that idiot do this time?” 

“Just…” you sigh. “Why does it seem like he tries so hard to avoid what happened in the past?” 

“What makes you think that?” Taehyung asks, linking his arm with yours as you both cross the street. 

“I mean it was fine. Me, Jeongguk, and Jimin were talking and having fun and we were all laughing and everything was fine! But then my stupid ass had to go say ‘do you even remember me’ and he didn’t respond. It just became so awkward all over again. I mean, is it so hard for him to just mention what happened? Because I feel like I’m the only one who stresses so much over him and he doesn’t give a fuck about me at all,” you rage and Taehyung listens quietly. 

“Well, why do you?” the male next to you asks and you blanch. 

“I--what?” 

“Why do you stress over him so much, anyway?” Taehyung clarifies. You open your mouth to respond as though it is the simplest thing in the world, but you find that you don’t exactly have an answer for his inquiry. Taehyung chuckles deeply. 

“(Nickname) don’t get offended by this but did you have a crush on Jimin back when you were friends?” 

You stop in your tracks to throw him the most shocked expression possible. 

“What?! Ew, no way! He was my best friend!!” 

“So, you never loved him?” he asks thoughtfully. 

“Well--I, of course I loved him, he was my best friend. Why the heck are you asking me that anyway?” you ask indignantly, feeling your cheeks get hot. Though, Taehyung only puts a hand on his chin. 

“Well, I was just thinking about it. Don’t get me wrong, I know losing a friend can be really tough, especially one you’ve had for so long and been so close with. But I feel like now you should sort of be over it. Or you shouldn’t be so affected by the fact that he isn’t close with you anymore. I feel like you had time to heal,” he explains. 

“But I--” you start to defend yourself but Taehyung raises a hand. 

“Let me finish, (Nickname),” he stops you and you purse your lips. “I know it will always sting. But you’ve made friends after Jimin and you’ve been able to live your life without him for years now. So why is it that just being around him brings you so much pain?” 

You try to think of an answer to his questions. 

“I just think that maybe you confused yourself and loved him this whole time,” the tall brunette finished. 

“Well then why did I fall for Youngjae?” you ask, trying to find holes around what you knew he was assuming. 

“What does Youngjae have to do with this? Of course it’s possible you fell for Youngjae. That doesn’t mean you didn’t ever fall for Jimin. You loved Youngjae obviously. But does that mean that you ever stopped loving Jimin?” 

You pause to look at him. Taehyung continues walking, a soft carefree smile on his face as he admires the winter scenery around him. Flurries of white snow that are descending from the sky settle in his fluffy hair. 

Was he right? Did you love Jimin this whole time? Was it possible that you were convincing yourself that you missed him only because he was your friend and not for any other reason? Were you so stupid to try to deny your own feelings? 

“Hm? Are you coming, (Name)?” Taehyung stops at the end of the sidewalk before an intersection, looking at you in confusion. “What’s wrong?” 

You are thinking about everything you’ve ever known. You think about everything you’ve done with him, every laugh, every game, every cry. You don’t think you can pinpoint any time where you’ve been in love with him. But you see your eighth grade self smiling up at him with adoration. And then you see your 15 year old self sneaking glances at him from across the library, watching as he hangs out with his friends. You see yourself giggling at the jokes he makes during his class president speech despite the fact that he has forgotten you long ago. You remember all the times you would think of him even after he went off to college. 

Taehyung is right. You’ve had so long to distance yourself from him and you’ve had years to teach yourself how to live without him. But strangely, you can’t let him go at all. And just the thought of him puts your heart at ease no matter how many bad memories he has linked to his name. 

You start walking towards Taehyung, who looks slightly confused, and grab his arm. In silence, the two of you walk down the street as you approach your dorm building. 

“Wanna come up?” you mumble to the male, eyeing the snow falling on the streets. Taehyung shakes his head with a small smile. 

“Nah, I should head back to the dorm before Jin hyung calls the police for a search party,” 

You grin before glomping the male into a hug. He is warm and cozy, almost like a sleeping bear in the cold winter.

“You were right,” you mutter to him. “I think I did love Jimin a long time ago. And I think I still do,” 

You pull away with a smile and wave to him, catching sight of the expression on his face, one that his mixed with pride and slight shock. When you get up to your dorm, finding it dark and empty, you breathe a sigh of relief. And for the first time in a very long time, you grab your computer and pull up some very old files. 

And you smile and laugh as you watch your younger self giggle and have fun, your heart fluttering every time you see familiar crescent shaped eyes. 

***

Bad luck seems to always follow you around. You groan loudly in the middle of the street, knowing that passerby are probably looking at you weirdly. 

“Well easy for them to judge,” you mutter. “They have umbrellas,” 

It is true that for the few people who are walking on the street, everyone is protected by an umbrella. And there you were, clad in nothing but sweatpants and a grey hoodie, holding a grocery bag as you trudge down the street. It is already raining a decent amount, and the walk back to the dorm isn’t extremely close. You want to call an Uber or a cab, but you also happened to have left your phone on your desk. 

“(Name) you dumbass,” you curse yourself. “But how was I supposed to know that it would fucking rain?! The forecast said at midnight. Not at nine,” 

You are already drenched and you’re sure that you’ll get sick by the time you get back to the dorm. It was just supposed to be a quick run to the store for some pads, what the hell? 

Then you have an idea and you start speed walking down a familiar route. Surely the boys won’t mind if you take shelter at their apartment until the storm passes? Or at least, everyone except Jimin. At the thought of Jimin, your heart goes through a roller coaster of emotions. You hadn’t spoken to him since the night of your realization. It’ll probably be extremely awkward to see him again. You hope he is at the studio practicing for his big competition. But a part of you also hopes to see him at the dorm. 

Pushing all thoughts of Jimin aside, you find yourself in front of the door to Seokjin’s apartment. Quickly wiping your wet shoes against the welcome mat, you raise a hand and knock, noticing that your fingers are shaking due to the cold. You hear some indistinguishable yelling before the door is thrown open. Kim Taehyung stands in front of you, brown hair falling free. A long sleeved white shirt covers his body and he wears grey sweatpants just like you do. A single Chanel necklace finishes his look and you are about to comment on it when he starts yelling. 

“What the fuck, (Name)?!” 

“HEY MIND YOUR LANGUAGE YOU FUCKING BRAT!!” Seokjin yells from inside and you hear Jeongguk cackle. Taehyung utters a half-hearted apology and turns to you, a scowl on his face. 

“Why the hell are you outside in the rain?! Don’t you know what an umbrella is?!!” 

You roll your eyes at him. “Of course I do! I didn’t know that it would freaking rain while I was walking home. That’s why I’m here!!” 

“Get inside,” he grumbles, tugging your arm and pulling you into the homely apartment. You quickly yell out a greeting to Seokjin, Jeongguk, and Namjoon as you pass them and grin as you hear the eldest reprimanding you for getting wet in the rain. In a few minutes, you are standing awkwardly in Taehyung’s bedroom, trying not get anything wet as he rummages around in his closet. 

“Here,” he says, handing you a pile of clothes. “Put these on and give me your clothes. I’ll put them in the dryer,” 

You take the clothes and smile gratefully before heading into the bathroom to change. You end up loving Taehyung’s oversized clothing, and come out feeling warm and comfortable. He grins at you as you jump into his bed, pulling up the covers for an even toastier feeling. 

“Have you eaten dinner, yet? I think we still have some leftovers,” 

“I did, thanks,” you smile and he waves you off. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” he asks already pulling out his laptop. You nod eagerly. 

"Can I use your phone to call Sana real quick?"

A few minutes later, you are cuddled up next to Taehyung as The Circle of Life starts playing and Rafiki holds up young baby Simba. 

You have fun with Taehyung. He is probably the best company you could have ever asked for and you wish that you’ll be friends with him for a long time. You grin as you hear him sing along to the songs and notice that he has a great voice. 

“Wow, TaeTae,” you muse. “You have a great voice! You should sing more often,” 

“Me?” Taehyung said bashfully. “Nah, it’s nothing great,” 

“Better than I sound,” you laugh as you lean against him. "Maybe you should become a singer," 

"You know I want to be an actor," he lets you snuggle into him with a chuckle. 

"Then maybe you should do musicals. That way you can sing and act. Or you should sing all the soundtracks on your OSTs," 

He laughs. "We'll see," 

You awake to voices. You crack an eye open, realizing that you are not in your own bed. You're still in Taehyung's bed, tucked in comfortably. The voices aren't too loud, but they aren't soft either. They sound like an argument. Namjoon is fast asleep on the other side of the room, papers scattered all over his bed, which makes you smile softly. You sit up slowly, seeing Taehyung's closed laptop at the foot of the bed. Where was Taehyung anyway? 

You swing your legs over the side of the bed and shiver a bit when you rip the covers off of your body. You stand up and quietly walk towards the door. Taking a peek at the clock, you realize that it is already past midnight. The storm seems to be raging still. You slowly pull the door open, not wanting to wake any of the sleeping boys. The arguing gets louder as you approach the living room. 

"I just don't understand what your problem is," Taehyung sighs. You pause. 

"My problem?" Jimin asks incredulously. "Why is she in your bed?" 

Oh he's asking about you. Taehyung breathes out through his nose. 

"Again, I told you. She got caught in the rain and showed up. So I gave her some spare clothes and we watched the fucking Lion King and then we fell asleep. What's so wrong with that?" 

"I just-! Why?! Since when is she so close with the rest of you all that she gets to stay over at our house?" 

Taehyung was beginning to get pissed. "Listen maybe you didn't notice, but since the beginning of the year, she's been getting to know us. So obviously now we're frien--" 

"You've been trying to get into her pants, huh?" Jimin asks with narrowed eyes. “You’ve been trying to get into her pants and that’s why you’ve been so nice and welcoming,” 

You suck in a breath. 

“What?! Why would you say that?! How could you think that about me?!” Taehyung’s voice raises in volume. “I am not--” 

“You’re never this welcoming towards people. Especially towards kids in the other years. You didn’t like Jeongguk for so long after he met us and--” 

“Oh,” Taehyung sneers. “Really? You’re gonna call me out for acting weird. What about you?” 

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” 

“You think I’m being weird by being (Name)’s friend so fast but look at you. You fucking hook up with Eunji out of nowhere. You always tell me who you’re into and you didn’t when it came to her,” 

Jimin blanches. “That has nothing to do with this--” 

“Sure thing, buddy,” Taehyung laughs. “Sure thing. When you can explain why you suddenly became interested in Eunji, then come find me--” 

“But--” 

“And like, what does it matter to you? You obviously couldn’t care less about (Name). So even if I was trying to get into her pants, why the fuck do you care?” 

“I don’t care--” 

“Ha,” Taehyung scoffs out a mocking laugh. “You can’t forget what happened in the past, huh?” 

“What?” Jimin growls. 

“You still remember (Name), don’t you?” 

“Taehyung, what are you talking ab--” 

“Haha, yeah,” he spits with disdain in his voice. “I know about your old best friend (Name),” 

Jimin’s eyes widen. “How the hell do you know? Did she tell you?” 

“That’s not important. What’s important is that you still remember her and that you obviously still care about her--” 

“I do not care,” 

“Oh really,” a devilish smirk forms on Taehyung’s face, one that you have never seen before. “Then it shouldn’t bother you to know that I was just trying to fuck her,” 

“Oh haha, nice try Tae,” Jimin grins mockingly. “You’re just trying to get me to admit that I care. Well I fucking don’t. Do whatever the fuck you want with her,” 

“You’re really going to let me?” 

Jimin shrugs carelessly. “I couldn’t care less. Just add one more name to your list of Girls I Fucked,” 

“There isn’t any part of you that is trying to stop me?! Not even a bit? How could you let someone do that to her??” Taehyung is now angry. “This better not have anything to do with Eunji!” 

“No! It doesn’t have anything to do with Eunji!!”

“Oh really?” 

Jimin sighs. “Yeah and to answer your question, as much as I don’t like the idea of you doing something like that to someone, (Name) isn’t a little girl anymore. She’s free to make her own decisions and if she wants you, then I won’t stand in the way,” 

“Jiminie,” Taehyung sighs. “I don’t want to get into (Name)’s pants, alright? That was never my intention with her. I just want to know why you won’t try with her. What made it so unbearable to be her friend again? From what I know, she’s an absolute sweethear--” 

“I know,” Jimin cuts him off. “She never did anything. I just...feel like a huge jerk whenever I look at her,” 

He chuckles dryly. “I freaking cut her off in high school because I thought I wouldn’t be considered cool if I continued to hang around with her. You tell me how I can face her after that dick move, Taehyungie,” 

Taehyung watches Jimin as he speaks and breaks out into a gentle smile. “Listen, everyone makes mistakes. I’m not justifying what you did but I don’t think that you should be acting weirdly around her just because of that. If you really still care about her, you’ll apologize and try your best to get that relationship again,” 

Jimin manages a small smile before he shoves Taehyung lightly. 

“Since when were you so good at relationship advice?” he grins. Taehyung strokes his imaginary beard thoughtfully. 

“I’m glad you came to me, my son,” 

Jimin’s tinkling laugh echoes through the room and you manage a teary smile when you see his crescent shaped eyes. Deciding that you had heard enough, you tiptoe back to Taehyung’s room, shutting the door quietly before snuggling into the covers. You grin at all you’ve heard. So he does remember. He remembers you and he wants to be your friend. He regrets what he did. He’s still the same caring Jimin you’ve always known. You wouldn’t know that if it weren’t for Taehyung though. You shut your eyes and pretend to be fast asleep as you hear Taehyung shuffle into the room. A gentle tap to your shoulder makes you fake waking up. 

“Oh? TaeTae,” 

“Hey sweetness,” he mumbles, trying not to wake Namjoon. “You fell asleep after the movie. Do you have to get back home or do you wanna stay over?” 

“Can I stay?” you mutter. 

“‘Course you can,” 

Perhaps Taehyung was the best person on the fucking planet. 

This time you wake up to someone aggressively poking your cheek. You groan angrily, setting at the hand and you hear someone snigger. 

"Ah, her cheeks are all squishy haha," 

You open your eyes to seeing a familiar grin. 

"Shut up Jeon," you mumble. 

"You want some breakfast?" he asks, ignoring your comment. 

"(Name), if you want breakfast, you need to come get it or Hoseok's gonna eat it all," you hear Yoongi say from the doorway. 

"Aw, thanks for thinking of me, Yoongi," you grin as you sit up, trying to smooth down your hair. You see him smile lightly as he leaves and you stretch out the stiffness in your joints. 

After freshening up, you take a seat at the table in between Taehyung and Namjoon. 

"Did you sleep well?" Tae asks you, smiling gently. 

"Yeah, thanks TaeTae," you beam at him.

"This is the first time you're staying over right?" Namjoon asks and you smile with a nod. 

"Yeah sorry I just crashed here without saying anything," 

"How many times do I have to tell you that it's okay. Our house is your house now," Seokjin stresses which makes you grin. At that moment, Jimin joins the table, rubbing his eyes sleepily. 

"Morning Jiminie," Taehyung greets. Jimin grins at the fellow 95 liner, the two of them sharing a secret conversation. 

"Morning Taehyungie," he replies. You continue to stare at him, feeling embarrassed yet confident. Eventually, his warm chocolate eyes land on you. You hesitate, but give him the first real smile you have in a long time. He blinks, but slowly, a grin forms on his face. You can't help but flush under his smile, and you hurriedly shovel food into your mouth, fully aware of Taehyung cheeky smirk. 

"You heading home after this, (Name)?" Hoseok asks in the midst of his chewing. You swallow down your mouthful and nod. 

"Yeah, I have a paper to write and I wanted to call my parents too," 

Hoseok nods in agreement and you finish up the meal, listening to the boys bicker with a smile. After you finish, Taehyung walks you to the door, and watches you put on your boots. 

“So…” he says quietly, and you can hear the grin in his voice. “What’s up with you today?” 

“What do you mean?” you ask, though you know exactly what he means. 

“I mean you were all heart eyes at the table,” 

“Shut up Tae,” you snap, though he doesn’t take it seriously due to your smile. 

“OoOOoOo (Name)~” 

You snort at his childish behavior. “And you say you’re more mature than I am,” 

He continues his taunting. “But since when did you decide to--” 

“Since I heard everything your big mouth was saying last night,” and feeling satisfied with his shocked face, you wave goodbye and walk out the door. You hear him follow you out and ask “WAIT YOU HEARD?! YOU KNOW I DIDN’T MEAN ANY OF THAT RIGHT?!” 

You turn back over your shoulder and grin. “I KNOW! I LOVE YOU!!” 

His shoulder’s slump and he smiles lazily, knowing exactly what you are thanking him for. “Love you too,” 

***

Even though you’ve realized that you harbor some kind of feelings for Jimin, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with them. What used to be nostalgia and sadness lingering around his name was now replaced with giddiness and unfamiliar butterflies. One thing that did remain was the sense of longing that you felt. While at first it was longing for that friendship you once had, now it was the longing to be more. Of course that couldn’t happen, not when you were able to see Jung Eunji kiss Park Jimin when he got home everyday. A part of you is so extremely jealous, but another part of you can only sigh because this was inevitable. There was no chance that Eunji was bad for him. On the contrary, she was quite perfect. So you can’t hate her at all and instead you can stand by with a bittersweet smile as the months pass by. But even so, all you can do is enjoy your time with your friends, just as you are doing now. 

“You need to date,” Jeongguk mutters to you. The neon lights in the room highlight his handsome facial features and shine in his youthful eyes. You stare at him blankly. “No offense,” 

“Um, I take full offense. Are you implying that I’m lonely?” 

“Yes,” the ravenette answers. You gasp dramatically, placing a hand on your chest. “You’ve been single all year! You need some action, babe,” he continues. 

“Uh huh, well if you can find me someone, let me know,” you chuckle with a shake of your head as you clink your glass with his before taking a sip. 

"Hm, what about the mysterious man who's had his eyes on you all night?" Jeongguk comments, his honey-like eyes flickering across the room. You follow his gaze and do indeed find dark eyes on you. You gulp, suddenly feeling self-conscious. 

"I don't know, Guk," you mumble honestly, letting your gaze roam to where Jimin is playfully dancing with Eunji. 

"Oh, why not? He looks like he's into you!!" Jeongguk whines, slapping your shoulder. "Why won't you look at someone for once?" 

I am looking at someone; you just don't know who.

"You need to forget about whoever you're still hung up on," the male says, placing a palm under his chin. “If it’s this Youngjae dude or someone else or whoever, you gotta forget about them because obviously, you aren’t getting anywhere with any of them,” 

You sigh, knowing that he’s right. Were you really going to stay hung up on Jimin, who is obviously in a happy relationship already? 

“Okay fine, you’re right,” 

Jeongguk smirks triumphantly before standing up. “Then I’ll leave you to it, (Name),” 

“What?! Wait!!” you desperately call after him, but he only flashes a mischievous grin before walking off in the direction of Hoseok and Namjoon. You groan, feeling awkward sitting by yourself. That doesn’t last for long though, because soon enough, the handsome stranger is standing in front of you. 

You don’t exactly know what spurred you to accept his invitations, but you end up laughing with him throughout the night. He keeps a respectable distance because he knows you’re a bit tipsy, which you can’t help but admire. The guy is extremely sweet and you know you’ve seen him before around school. He introduces himself as an Im Jaebum, a third year, and that confirms where you’ve seen him. You can actually see yourself being happy with him. Of course, that might just be your drunkenness and loneliness talking, but he is genuinely nice. By the end of the night, he walks you home, his deep chuckles ringing in your ear as you ramble on about something or the other without a care in the world. After he sweetly escorts you to your door, you fall into bed with a sweet smile, knowing that his digits are inputted into the memory of your phone. 

***

Two weeks later, you are lazily lounging at the boys’ dorm. You’re draped across the couch, your legs laying in Jeongguk’s lap, who, like usual, has his remote controller in his hands. You are grinning as you rapidly text Jaebum. You haven’t officially started dating him yet, but he has taken you out a few times, all of which you’ve enjoyed yourself to the core. You are biting your lip to conceal laughter as he rambles about his friend Jackson who won’t ever do what he’s told when Jimin gets home. The black-haired male groans in pain as he stretches out his muscles and plops into the single-seater. 

“Hey hyung,” Jeongguk greets. 

“Hey Gukkie. Hey (Name),” he replies. You tear your eyes away from your phone to smile at him, your heart still fluttering. “Hey Jimin,” 

Jeongguk and Jimin make small talk as you immerse yourself in your texting again. Taehyung eventually joins their conversation with a snack in his hand. It is only a few minutes later when Jeongguk speaks directly to you. 

“So I take it my plan went well?” he smirks with knowing eyes as you flush. 

“What plan?” Taehyung asks with a mouthful of chips. 

“What’s his name?” Jeongguk asks, ignoring his hyung’s inquiry. 

“Uhh, Im Jaebum,” you can’t help but smile when Jeongguk’s eyes widen. 

“Wait, that was Im Jaebum!! I’ve heard so much about him. He’s the one who’s really good at b-boying, right?” 

You grin and nod and Jeongguk chuckles proudly. “Total score, (Nickname). I’m so proud of you,” 

Taehyung sits up straight, his brows furrowed. “Wait...you mean you’re…?” 

“Dating,” Jeongguk finishes. Taehyung’s jaw drops, eyes flickering to you with confusion. 

“I was gonna tell you,” you say honestly. “And we aren’t dating yet. We just went out a few times,” 

Taehyung shoots you a look as though saying ‘you’d better explain all of this later.’ 

“Isn’t it great hyung? She’s been single since we met her. It’s time she gets a little romance,” Jeongguk grins as he continues clicking his controller. 

“Yeah, congrats (Name),” 

They are the first words Jimin utters in the conversation and when you look at him he is smiling at you, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. You feel a bit disappointed that he isn’t upset about it, but that’s just your stupid fantasy talking. You flash him a similar smile, one that you don’t quite mean. 

“Thanks, Jimin,” 

Taehyung is watching your exchange with observant eyes but he doesn’t say anything, though he looks like he really wants to. After that conversation ends, there is some kind of tension in the air that you cannot break. 

A few hours later, while Yoongi made dinner, Taehyung tugs you into his bedroom. 

“What the heck?” he whisper-shouts once he shuts the door. 

“What?” you ask dumbly. 

“Im Jaebum, (Name)? Really?” 

You cross your arms across your chest defensively. “What’s wrong with Jaebum?” 

Taehyung clicks his tongue exasperatedly. “Nothing’s wrong with him. Just...what happened to Jimin? I thought you liked him!” 

Your shoulders slump dejectedly. “I do! O-Or I did. I don’t know Tae!! I’m trying so hard to stop--” 

“What? Why?!” he asks. 

“Because,” you burst and his hands flinch at your volume. “He’s already with someone else! I’ve been pining after him all these years and now am I just supposed to sit by and be alone while he dates her?! Do you just expect me to stay stuck on him forever?! It’s obvious he doesn’t return my feelings so I’m trying to move on!!” 

Taehyung purses his lips, sympathy swirling around in his eyes. “Okay, you’re right. I just--as long as you’re happy with him, (Name),” he sighs, before giving you a sad smile and holds his arms open. You reciprocate and accept his invitation, wrapping your arms around him in desperate need of his affection. 

*** 

You can only sigh as you disconnect the call which catches the attention of the male sitting next to you. 

“Trouble in paradise?” Yoongi asks, looking down at you. You sigh yet again. 

“I don’t know…? It’s hard to explain,” you mumble. 

“Talk to me,” he says bluntly. You’ve known Yoongi long enough to tell that this was his invitation for you to dump your emotions on him, so you do just that. 

“It’s just---it feels forced,” you say, waving your hands around exasperatedly. At Yoongi’s hum, you continue. “I mean, I like Jaebum and all, but I feel like I’m not really putting my entire mind into this, y’know?” 

Yoongi nods mutely. “So you’re saying it’s one-sided?” 

“Well,” you try to explain. “I do have feelings for him. But I just feel like he’s more invested in this relationship than I am. And I want to be more invested!! I do! But I…” 

“You just don’t feel it?” the mint-haired male offers and you nod. 

“Yeah. And that makes me feel really bad. He’s such a good guy. He doesn’t deserve my bullshit,” 

“Then maybe you should...y’know? End it?” Yoongi advises, picking up a piece of chicken with his chopsticks and shoving it into his mouth. You look down sadly. 

“Yeah I probably will. I’m really going to miss him though,” you mumble. It’s weird to explain how you feel. On one hand, you absolutely adore Jaebum. He was the perfect guy and probably ideal for so many people. He was smart, funny, talented, and handsome. He’d done nothing but take care of you in the sweetest way possible and he’d been nothing but respectful and loving.  You feel horrible about the way you feel about him. You love him, but you hate the fact that your own mind betrays you. Instead of thinking of him 24/7, like any lovestruck fool would do, your mind wanders and lingers on the memories of the crescent eyed boy who really stole your heart. After so much thinking, you began to feel guilty, believing that you were betraying Jaebum in some way as you thought about Jimin. And here you were; Yoongi has to give you relationship advice. 

You are just picking up a piece of meat with your chopsticks when you hear the front door open. Jimin walks in, looking extremely tired. His big performance was now only a month away, which increased the time he spent practicing. 

“Hey Jimin,” you greet. His lips twitch upward into a tired smile. 

“Hey (Name),” 

Your reply is interrupted by Jimin’s bedroom door swinging open and out walks Eunji. She has her arms crossed with a disapproving glare. 

“Hey noona,” the black-haired male greets, but no answer comes from his girlfriend. She continues to look at him. “What?” 

“What?! Seriously? Park Jimin do you know what time it is?! It’s past 11 at night! Why are you just getting home now?!? It’s not good for you!” she explodes. It is the first time you’ve ever seen her yell, especially at Jimin. Though the male in question only seems to grow more tired as he hears her words. He sighs heavily as he begins walking towards his bedroom. 

“Noona I told you. My competition is in less than five weeks. I need to practice--”

“What about us? We agreed that we’d spend tonight together and you forgot--” Eunji starts complaining, her voice rising as she follows him. 

“No! I did not forget!! I specifically texted you and told you that I wouldn’t be able to go out tonight!” 

“You’ve been saying that a lot recently!! What? Is it that you don’t want to spend time with me?!” 

“God, noona, no! That’s not it!! I’m fucking sorry alright!” 

“Oh, great, sorry. The same exact thing you said last time….” her voice trails off as the door to Jimin’s shuts loudly. Their yells now turned into muffled sounds of aggravation. 

“Ugh again? That’s the third time this week!” Hoseok groans as he joins you and Yoongi at the table. 

“Are they doing okay?” you ask. You’ve never really tried to pry too deep into Jimin and Eunji’s relationship. It had been a bit sore of a subject for you since you found out. But you had never heard them fight like this. Eunji was always sweetly taking care of Jimin and he would always show her love in the cutest way possible. 

“To be honest, I’m not sure,” Yoongi sighs. “They’ve been pretty tense the past few weeks,” 

“Really? Why?” you ask, trying to keep your voice from sounding too nosy. Neither of the boys seem to notice though and Hoseok shrugs. 

“I don’t know. Last week, Eunji was saying something about how he’s pulling away from her and it isn’t really how it was when they started dating,” 

“But she probably just feels that way because Jimin is focusing so much on practicing right now,” Yoongi shrugs. “I mean we all know how he feels about dancing. He’s been preparing for this competition for a long time. He obviously wants to put his all into it,” 

“Yeah I can see why both of them are having problems,” Hoseok says. “It’s not like any of them are doing anything wrong. It’s just…” he trails off but you and Yoongi know what he means. You can’t help but feel a little bad. How could a happy relationship go so sour over such a thing? Then you remember your own predicament and wince. 

It takes you a week to finally break it off with Jaebum. It hurts to leave him, especially when you see the look on his face, but you can’t help but feel as though a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. But you do still hurt….

“I just didn’t know what to do!” you blubber as Jeongguk rubs your shoulder. 

“It’s okay (Name). I understand,” 

From his spot on the couch, Hoseok sends you a sad sort of grimace and you can’t help but cry harder. 

“I-I really wanted to be with him, you know?” you sob as Jeongguk clicks his tongue sympathetically. 

"Yeah?" Hoseok asks. 

"Yeah," you cry. "He was perfect," 

"You know, sometimes fate is just mean like that. There's always going to be someone perfect like Jaebum that isn't meant for you," Jeongguk says wisely. 

"And how many relationships have you been in, Jeongguk?" Hoseok asks the bunny-like male. 

"That's not that point, hyung!!" Jeongguk protests. "The point is that sometimes relationships aren't meant to be. Don't worry, (Nickname). You'll end up with someone great!" 

You sniffle noisily and wipe your eyes with your sleeve. You're sure your nose is red and your face is puffy. 

“I guess. But I really miss him now!!” a fresh wave of tears starts again and you put your head in your hands. Through your fingers, you catch Yoongi holding back a snigger at your tantrum and you whine loudly, opting to chuck a pillow at him. 

“STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!” 

He chortles. “I’m sorry but you were so ready to do it and now you’re crying like a baby,” 

You try to hold back a smile at his tone because you know he’s just teasing. If you hadn’t told him how you felt about breaking up with Jaebum, you know he’d be more serious. But he knows that you feel relieved and so he thinks he’s entitled to make fun of you. 

“Shut up,” you mutter, swiping your sleeve under your eyes again. Seokjin, who had been silently playing Mario Kart, voices his opinion. 

“You’ll be fine, (Name). JK’s right. If it’s meant to be, then it’s meant to be. Stop crying now. You look ugly,” 

“EVeRYoNE hATeS mE!!” you sob, dramatically turning into Jeongguk’s shoulder as his body shakes with laughter. You hear Hoseok giggle and then some footsteps follow. 

“Finally. You always use all the fucking hot water,” Yoongi grumbles and you hear Jimin’s tinkling laugh. You look up to see him and when his eyes land on you, his happy expression morphs into shock. 

“Wha-? (Name) have you been crying?!” he asks, before swiftly walking closer to you. “What happened?! Are you hurt?!” 

You blink stupidly, trying to hide the real tracks of tears from your earlier episode. Though before you can answer, Jeongguk beats you to it. 

“Eh, yeah she is. She and Jaebum broke up,” he informs the elder male. Jimin stands up straight and his eyes flicker with confusion, surprise, and something else you can’t quite place. 

“Oh?” his voice goes into a higher pitch than it naturally is. He clears his throat. “W-Why?” 

Your mood instantly dampens as you think of the male you just gave up. You really did miss him. 

“I-” you can’t help but get choked up again. “I don’t know,” 

Immediately, anger flickers across Jimin’s face. “Wait...he didn’t fucking...dump you for some stupid reason did he?” 

You shake your head quickly. “No no! I broke up with him,” 

The ravenette’s anger fizzles. “Oh. Then why are you crying?” 

“I don’t know,” you repeat miserably. “I can’t explain it,” 

Jimin seems to understand what you want to say and nods sympathetically.

“It’s okay. It’ll get better soon,” 

You sigh heavily and sniffle before nodding. You would die before you admitted that just seeing Jimin had already made it a bit better. 

***

You attentively watch every step that Jimin takes. His movements switch from fluid to controlled in seconds, yet his face is lacking any struggle, almost as if this came easy to him. Though for you, you couldn’t stand on your own two feet, so the way he was dancing right now was extremely admirable. The occasional squeaks of his sneakers were drowned out by the music echoing through the room. Next to you, Taehyung and Hoseok are watching with rapt attention. When Jimin hit the final beat, all three of you began to clap and praise him. 

“Woahh that was really cool, Jiminie!”

“That was amazing!”

“It was much better than last time just make sure you keep your legs straighter when you go down at the end,” 

Jimin grins sheepishly and nods at Hoseok’s suggestion. He starts walking towards his bag and pulls out his water bottle for a sip. Taehyung turns to you. 

“Well, (Name)? What did you think of Jimin’s performance?” 

Out of the corner of his eye, you could see Jimin looking at you for your answer. “It was so good. I wish I could dance like that,” you compliment honestly. Jimin’s lips twitch upwards at your words, but he doesn’t say anything. Taehyung looks satisfied before a mischievous glint takes place in his eyes. 

“I’m gonna go buy something for us to eat,” he says, standing up and dusting off his clothes. Your eyes widen. 

“I don’t wanna eat right no-” Jimin starts but his friend cuts him off. 

“Shut up, Jimin,” he scolds. “You have to get your energy back!” 

Taehyung grins at you; he was really trying to put you in an uncomfortable spot, huh? He then exits the practice room and you huff angrily. Well, at least Hoseok was still here. 

“HEY HOBI HYUNG!! CAN YOU COME WITH ME?! 

Oh no…

The male in question clicks his tongue. “What?!” 

“I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BUY FOOD!!” Taehyung yells, poking his head into the room

“Ugh~” Hoseok groans, before standing up. “I’ll be back guys,” 

You shoot Taehyung a look of desperation, but all you get back is a wink and the door swings closed. You sigh as the room becomes silent. Jimin is grinning lightly when you look at him. 

“I’m happy you liked the dance, (Name),” he smiles and you feel your shoulders relax. His words didn’t help your sweaty palms though. 

“Of course I did! It was awesome!!” 

Jimin grins at your answer, a slight hue of pink dusting his cheeks. Though you can’t help yourself from rambling further. 

“I mean, if only I could do that!! It’s so amazing how you can dance so effortlessly. Like, it looks like you don’t even have to think about what you’re doing! You’re probably the best dancer I’ve ever met. Well, you and Hoseok. But you’re still so talented! You know, even when we were younger I used to be jealous of your dancing skills?! And it’s not fair! You looked so cool doing it!!” 

By the time you realized that you hadn’t stopped talking, all of your words were spilled into the air. While internally cursing yourself for your running mouth, Jimin’s blush deepens. 

“Aw,” he smiles. “Thanks, (Nickname),” 

The syllables of your nickname as they escape his lips makes your heart race and you smile back at him, ignoring the dampness of your palms. Though neither of you utter a word for the next few moments, you are fine just looking at him. He is about to speak when the practice door swings open. You turn to send a signal to Taehyung that everything was going well, but your shoulders drop when you see Eunji standing there instead. She isn’t angry or anything, but she doesn’t look too happy either. You steal a glance at the clock and realize that it was now hitting 12:30 in the morning. She seems to be aware of that as well. 

Jimin’s smile drops slightly. “Hey noona,” 

“You’ve been here this whole time?” she asks in a low voice. Jimin nods. 

“Jimin,” she sighs, her body slumping with some kind of unseen weight. “Jimin I’ve been calling you all evening,” 

“Oh shit,” Jimin curses. “Really? I’m so sorry noona. My phone was off and in my ba--” 

“Jimin,” she raises a hand to silence him. “You could have told me. I was waiting at your dorm all night,” 

It is then that her eyes drift to see you sitting against the wall and they narrow. It is the first time you’ve seen an expression like that on her and you want nothing more than to press yourself into the wall and disappear. 

“I’m really sorry, noona,” he sincerely apologizes again, walking closer to her. “My mind has just been so occupied with this competition and I--” 

“Let’s talk later, okay? I’m going home,” she says icily, stepping away from him. Jimin doesn’t make a move to stop her from leaving. Before she leaves, she looks at you once again and you feel a chill run up your spine at the look that is remarkably like a glare. Once she leaves, the atmosphere becomes tense, no more the fluttery air that was just present moments ago. You sneak a glance at Jimin, who looks defeated. He runs his hands through his black locks and when he catches your eyes, he manages to send you a gentle smile. 

“It’ll be fine, Jimin,” you offer, no matter how much it stings to say. “It’ll all be okay,” 

“Yeah, it’ll be fine,” he repeats, though it sounds more like he is convincing you than convincing himself. 

***

You shove a spoonful of Rocky Road into your mouth as you watch Taehyung sign into Netflix on your computer. You both are alone at your dorm tonight since Sana is visiting her parents for the weekend. You both enjoyed spending free time with each other and since you had finished most of the work you had and you didn’t have your part-time job, Taehyung was the obvious option. He plops on your bed and snatches the tub of sweetness away from you, to which you protest but are ultimately ignored. 

Though Taehyung seems a little off today. He isn’t chattering your ear off about something or the other and his hands are fidgeting a lot. 

“Hey TaeTae?” you ask, looking at him. 

He flinches and you start. “Hm? Oh yeah what?” he asks absent-mindedly. 

“You okay?” you frown. “You’ve been kind of...jumpy?” 

“Oh,” he shakes his head and smiles lightly. “Yeah I’m fine,” 

You’re not quite convinced, but you decide not to push him and instead focus on the screen as Us starts playing. You don’t notice Taehyung bite his lip and look at you with a bit of guilt. As the movie progresses, there are multiple instances when he opens his mouth to speak, but can’t manage to get words out. It takes him about half the movie, but eventually can’t control himself. He stretches across the bed to pause the movie and you look up at him quizzically. 

“I have to tell you something,” he says quietly. And then he starts. “Yesterday, I was at the dorm…” 

Taehyung lazily lounged on the couch, his hand digging into a bag of Cheetos as he lethargically watched Supernatural on TV. The dorm was pretty quiet this evening, he noticed. Yoongi and Namjoon were in their rooms working on music while Seokjin had gone to visit his brother. Surprisingly, you and Jeongguk were out eating together, with the latter having to pay after losing a bet to you. And not so surprisingly, Jimin and Hoseok were at the studio. So here he was. 

He didn’t really know how many episodes he had breezed through, but he was in the middle of choking on his laughter as Castiel yells “Hey assbutt!” when Jimin gets home. 

“Oh hey Jimini--” he paused when he saw Jimin’s somber expression. “What’s wrong?” 

Jimin looked up and smiled lightly before heading off to his room. “Oh nothing, I’m just really tired,” 

Taehyung knew that that wasn’t it, but he didn’t push his friend, and turned back to Dean’s appalled face. A few minutes later, he hears Jimin shuffling around in the kitchen as he makes dinner for himself before he walks into the living room and plops down next to him. 

“So…” Jimin asks, after a few minutes of watching Sam and his glorious hair. “Where is everyone?” 

“Yoongi hyung and Namjoon hyung are working. You know Jin hyung’s visiting his brother. And Jeongguk went out to eat with (Name),” Taehyung replies. Jimin turns to look at him quickly. 

“(Name) and Jeongguk?”  he repeats. Taehyung raises a brow and nods slowly. “L-Like on…..are they on a date?”

Taehyung reels back, his lips curling a bit. “What no! What is wrong with you?! He lost a bet so he’s taking her out and paying!” 

Jimin’s shoulders fall and he sighs a bit. “Oh okay,” he chuckles awkwardly. “Sorry, I was just checking,” 

Taehyung frowns, but slowly nods, before he focuses back on the show. “So how was practice? Is Hobi hyung still there?” 

Jimin nods in the middle of his munches. “Yeah. I’m getting pretty nervous about this now that it’s so close,” 

“Nah, you’ll be fine. You’re a great dancer. Just do your best,” Taehyung answers. It is silent for a minute, the two brother-like friends watching the show with interest before Taehyung poses a question. “Oh I wanted to ask. We’re all gonna go to Taeyong’s party tomorrow. You up for it?” 

“Who’s we all?” Jimin asks, turning to face him. 

“The hyungs, except for Jin hyung, me, and Gukkie,” 

“And (Name)?” Jimin asks. Taehyung stops to think, though it is a bit curious that Jimin keeps bringing you up. 

“I haven’t asked her. I could text her and see. I think she’d probably come,”  

“Okay, sure,” Jimin agrees, taking another bite of his dinner. 

“You can bring Eunji, too,” Taehyung says. But Jimin stiffens. 

“Uh, I don’t think she’d wanna come,” he answers. Taehyung blinks. 

“Why?” he pauses. “Oh. Because you’ve been kinda fighting lately? It’s okay. You can take her to the party to show her that you still wanna be with her. You know, spend time with her,” 

Jimin grimaces. “That sounds great and all but I really don’t think she’d agree,” Taehyung chuckles. “Why not?” 

“Because I broke up with Eunji,” 

There is a pause in the conversation. 

“What?” Taehyung asks. 

“I broke up with Eunji,” Jimin repeats. 

“Wha-? Why?” 

“I….” he sighs, as though unable to form words. “I don’t know man. You know how you always say that you break up with the girls you date because you don’t....”

“Love them?” Taehyung offers and Jimin nods miserably. 

“I mean I cared about Eunji, I really did. But like I don’t feel like I wanna be with her anymore. It feels like I’m forcing myself to be with her. And I didn’t want to do that because it was obviously hurting her!” 

Taehyung nods understandingly. “Yeah I get that. It’s okay. How do you feel? Are you okay?” 

Jimin winces. “I feel...really guilty. And kinda sad too. But I also feel like I did the right thing for her,” 

“I’m sure you did. As long as you’re happy, Jimin,” Taehyung smiles gently, turning back to the screen. For a second he thinks of you. He thinks of how long you’ve been pining after Jimin. He wants to tell you, he really does, but he doesn’t want to give you any false hope. He doesn’t want you to waste your time longing for Jimin if there was no chance to begin with. That’s why, internally, he debates on whether he had the right to tell you, or if you should hear it from Jimin himself.

“Thanks for everything, Taehyungie,” 

“He and Eunji...broke up?” you ask incredulously. Taehyung nods, biting his bottom lip gently. “Aw TaeTae. Why were you so nervous about that?” 

“I just didn’t want to have you be stuck on him, you know? I don’t know. I was trying to figure out if it was my place to tell you,” he answers honestly. Though you only smile up at him before nuzzling into his side. 

“Thanks for always thinking of me, Tae,” you sigh, though you can’t quell that spark of hope that has ignited in your chest. You feel him squeeze your shoulders and in his sweet voice he replies

“Of course, (Nickname),”

You continue to watch without a care in the world but Taehyung still feels guilt in his gut. Because he had left out the next part of the conversation. And he wasn’t sure if that part could benefit you or break your heart. 

After a few minutes, Taehyung asks the question in his head. “If you don’t mind me asking, when did you start feeling that way about Eunji? I mean, like you didn’t love her?” 

“Um,” Jimin licks his lips. “I think a few months ago? I just hated how she’d always be disappointed in me for not calling her and stuff,” 

“Ah got it,” Taehyung answers. “I guess that’s why you both started fighting too,” 

“Yeah…” Jimin trails off. Another beat of silence passes before he speaks up again. “I…” 

Taehyung turns to look at him. “What?” 

“I think it’s also because…” he pauses. “Because I have feelings for someone else,” 

Jimin refused to tell Taehyung who it was. But as he said, it could benefit you if the person was you, and if it wasn’t, it would break your heart. 

And Taehyung wasn’t sure if he wanted to take that risk.

***

“What time will you be back again?” Sana asks you as she watches you brush your hair. After you’re sure you’ve got all the tangles out, you place the brush down and turn to her. 

“To be honest I’m not sure. I think the actual competition ends at eight but it might run longer. Plus, Jin said I could just crash at their place if it goes on too late,” you answer. “I’ll text you anyway,” 

“Got it,” she grins. In just a few minutes, a rapt knock sounds from your door and stand up. When you pull it open, Yoongi stands there with Namjoon. 

“Ready to go?” Namjoon asks, his dimples showing up as he smiles down at you. You nod eagerly. 

“Then hurry your ass up and let’s go,” Yoongi mumbles, though he is slightly smiling. You roll your eyes and yell out a goodbye to your roommate, before shutting the door behind you. Following the two music lovers out, they lead you to the car. Namjoon pulls the door open as Yoongi goes to take a seat next to Seokjin in the front. Reciprocating the greetings you get from the boys, you comfortably seat yourself between Hoseok and Jeongguk as the car starts. Though the boys continue to chatter with each other, or occasionally bicker, you can’t help but glance at Jimin, who has been silent the whole ride. He stares out the window dazedly and his leg bounces nervously. Namjoon seems to notice this as well, as he places a comforting hand on the male’s knee. 

“You’re gonna be fine, Jimin,” he says.

“Yeah, you’ve practiced so much! It’s all gonna pay off!” Hoseok adds, brightening up the mood with his cheeriness as he always does. Jimin only shuts his eyes, blows out a breath, and nods. You offer him a smile when he catches your eye, and he shakily grins back. In another half an hour, all of you clamor out of the car in front of the place of the competition. 

“I have to go with all the other performers,” Jimin says to all of you. “You guys go through the front with all the people who came to watch,” 

“Got it,” Seokjin answers before breaking out into a smile. “Good luck, Jiminie!”

The other boys hug him and clap him on the back and smack his ass (Jeongguk) but he smiles gratefully at all of them. 

“Good luck, Jiminie,” you wish him with a smile before glomping him in a hug. Though it has been years, you can’t help but remember how it used to feel to hug him before something important. When you were younger, you used to think hugs would give him good luck, so now also, you’d like to believe that they would do something for him. You feel his hands gently squeeze you back before he lets you go. When you look at him, he is grinning at you, his chocolate eyes stretched in pretty crescents and that has you wanting to explode but you push away the butterflies and turn away from him, though you cannot stop smiling. You know he’ll be amazing. 

***

The car ride home is loud and rambunctious, just as one would expect from the seven boys who had stolen your heart. The chattering amongst you all doesn’t cease, even as Jimin flusteredly begs you all to stop. 

“Did you see the way he flipped?!” Jeongguk asks eagerly before making excessive hand gestures to accompany his words. “He was all WPAPPAPAAAAHH and then he landed so smoothly!!”  

“Yeah that was awesome!! But what about that part where he went into the splits and then got up without using like any of his hands?!” you squeal. “That was easily the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my life!!” 

“Ah c’mon guys,” Jimin whines with a blush, though he is grinning sheepishly. “You can stop now~” 

“And he was really hitting every beat! That was really well done,” Hoseok nods sagely as he effectively ignores Jimin’s request. Jimin only sighs with a shake of his head, leaning back into his seat with a smile as the moonlight hits the glinting gold medal around his neck. As soon as you all barge into the apartment, everyone plops into a couch or on the floor. Yoongi pulls out drinks for everyone and you all clink them together to celebrate Jimin’s victory. It is one of the best days you have with the boys, feeling now worries or stresses and nothing but happiness. 

“Dude,” Jeongguk slurs, his beer sloshing around as he motions towards Jimin. “All those nights in the s-studio really paid off~~~”

“Yeah,” Taehyung agrees, his face turning extremely serious as he looks at his friend, totally unaware that he too is tipsy. “If Eunji could see you now!” 

Jimin, who is now sporting a light flush, looks at you quickly before looking away. You quickly turn back to your karaoke and began to sing excessively. 

“Even though she was a nice girl, you shouldn’t date someone if they come in the way of your dreams!” Namjoon nods wisely. He is holding the handle of a mug from the coffee table, which he had somehow broken off. 

“wHAt wISE woRdS!!” Hoseok suddenly shrieks from his position across the carpet, having even less control over his volume than usual. 

“Yeah I’m glad I ended it. I hope she’s happy~” Jimin smiles, his cheeks pink as he speaks. 

“You’re a mature guy for thinking so,” Yoongi says, sipping his wine and remaining the only one who knew how to handle his alcohol. He watches you and Seokjin loudly shriek to Fantastic Baby with a playful roll of his eyes. You all continue to pass the time with drinks, karaoke, and occasional remembrance of the beautiful performance you had witnessed earlier that evening. After Jeongguk’s very extra reenactment of Jimin’s dance, you stand up and stretch. 

“I should probably head back to the dorm,” you mumble. Seokjin, red in the face, laughs dramatically. 

“Girl, you can’t even stand on your own two feet,” he slurs and Jimin giggles loudly. You stick your tongue out and pull your sweater on. 

“You’re just extra drunk,” you point out and begin walking towards the door. You smile at Jimin, who is watching you go. 

“You did really well today, Jimin,” you whisper with tipsy smile. You really want to talk with him more, but you feel your nerves kick in and you settle with just seeing his pretty smile. 

“Thanks (Name),” 

You slip your sneakers on and wave dramatically to the boys. “See you guys later!” 

“Please don’t pass out on the way!” Yoongi yells after you, even though he knows you aren’t that drunk and can walk for fifteen minutes. You grin at the mint-haired musician and walk out the door. 

You are smiling as you step out into the warm summer air. A successful night for the boy you are obsessed with sits well with you, and having spent time with him and seeing him happy makes you happy in turn. You cross the street and are just about to continue your walk when you hear someone shout your name. You turn around to see Park Jimin standing at the door, a wide smile on his flushed face. 

“(NAME)!!” 

“WHAT?!” you yell back, thinking you must have forgotten something. 

“I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!” he cups his hands by his lips to amplify the sound of his voice.

“WHAT IS IT?” you ask. You see him take a deep breath and smile. 

“I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I NEVER FORGOT ABOUT YOU AND I NEVER HATED YOU!! I ALWAYS MISSED OUR FRIENDSHIP AND I’M SO GLAD THAT WE GOT TO MEET EACH OTHER AGAIN!” 

You take a second to process his words before you break out into a happy smile. You open your mouth to tell him how glad you are to hear this, but he beats you to it. 

“BUT-” he says suddenly and you stop. “I CAN’T BE YOUR FRIEND LIKE WE WERE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!” 

Your smile slowly drops, the beginning of a familiar sadness building up in your chest. 

“W-WHY?” you curse your voice crack, but await his answer. 

“BECAUSE-” he laughs loudly and you hear Hoseok scream from the hall: 

“TELL HER JIMIN!”

“BECAUSE I DON’T THINK I SEE YOU AS A FRIEND ANYMORE!!” he shouts and you pause. Suddenly, you fear the absolute worst, thinking that he does not want anything to do with you, that he doesn’t want to relive the friendship you once had. But then you hear Hoseok’s cheering and Namjoon’s praises and you start to think about what you just heard. 

“I-WHAT?” is all you can manage to yell back. You hear Jimin’s tinkling laugh and you can tell that he is embarrassed, but he is happy. He runs his fingers through his black hair and grins widely as Taehyung runs up to the door. 

“YOU WHAT?!” you hear the male yell, and Jimin laughs sheepishly. “SHE’S THE GIRL?!” 

Jimin nods mutely, though he is biting his plump lips to keep from smiling. You want to ask “what girl?” and “what are you talking about?” but you feel like your brain is short-circuiting. You hear Taehyung’s laugh of disbelief as he claps Jimin on the shoulder. “THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! GO!!” 

Jimin, empowered by the bit of alcohol running through his veins and his friend’s encouragement, stumbles down the street and makes his way to you. When he stands in front of you, eyes and smile soft like honey, you forget how to blink. You are far too concerned with taking in every single facial feature of the beautiful man in front of you. His pretty hands slowly move to cup your neck and you hold your breath. His chocolate eyes are half-lidded, though they search for permission from you. You aren’t exactly sure how you give it to him, but he takes a leap of faith and connects his lips to yours. You won’t ever be able to explain your emotions at that moment, but all you can feel is Jimin. It takes you a few seconds to respond, but when you do, you do so wholeheartedly. You quickly close the space between you two and tangle your fingers in his dark hair feeling as though gravity ceased to exist. He seems to be enjoying himself just as much and he moves his hands to circle your waist and pull you closer to him. You can faintly hear Taehyung and Jeongguk faking gags but you can’t even bother yourself to care. Not when the boy of your childhood has completely stolen your heart. Maybe it’s a few minutes, or a couple of hours, or perhaps even a day has passed; you’re not sure. But when he pulls away from you his dazzling smile is so bright you can’t help but chuckle. He noses your cheek with a soft laugh and intertwines his fingers with yours. 

“You should text Sana,” he mumbles lowly, though you can hear the happiness in his voice. 

“Should I?” you ask back, closing your eyes in his embrace, feeling once again like a schoolgirl. He confirms with a gentle hum as he tugs you in the direction of the house. You lazily stumble after him, your legs feeling like jelly and butterflies actively fluttering in your gut. You watch him with loving eyes agreeing that he had never looked more handsome than in that moment. As Jimin pulls you into the apartment, Yoongi chuckles lowly. 

“It’s about time,” Jeongguk says and Hoseok grins with an excited nod of his head. 

“You knew?” you ask the two of them before it dawns on you. You slowly turn to glare at the tall male who hasn’t spoken. 

“I DIDN’T TELL THEM!” Taehyung yells at you, offended that you would even assume such a thing. 

“Wait...you knew?!” Jimin suddenly asks, looking at his fellow 95 liner, who gulps. 

“Well...yeah,” Taehyung answers and he immediately puts his hands up at Jimin’s glare. “Oh c’mon! She trusted me. I wasn’t about to go tell you that she had a crush on you!!” 

You grin and latch onto Taehyung’s arm. “Thanks TaeTae. I knew you were my best friend!” 

Jimin’s glare extends to you and you laugh. “That’s my best friend, woman,” 

“Hell no,” you shoot back and stick out your tongue. “You don’t deserve such a handsome best friend,” 

Taehyung nods appreciatively and high fives you but Namjoon smirks. 

“No matter how close you and Taehyung are you’ll never be as close as you and Jimin, (Name),” he comments before making smooching noises. Taehyung and Hoseok chortle and Yoongi’s smirk rivals Namjoon’s. You groan in embarrassment and sneak a peek at your lover, but he is only smiling with a shake of his head. His hand squeezes yours and you grin giddily. You suddenly hear footsteps and see Seokjin walking out of the bathroom. 

“Oh, (Name)? I thought you left? Did you forget something?” he asks, and when you all say nothing, he raises a brow. “What’d I miss?” 

The six of you blink and then Jeongguk utters a “Hyung how do you always miss the important stuff?” 

Namjoon and Hoseok crack up and you giggle as you watch Jeongguk dramatically recount the tale to an astonished Seokjin. You feel a nudge from your left and look to see Jimin grinning down at you. For a moment, his smile is so clearly the one you remember and it makes you feel a good kind of nostalgia. The Jimin you once knew wasn’t really gone. In fact the Jimin that you see next to you had grown from a cute boy to a loving man who had captured your heart once again. 

Whether he was four years old, eight years old, sixteen years old, or twenty years old, Jimin had your heart. And that would never change.

.

.

.

.

a/n: so maybe i just wanted some drama and angst. but I hope you guys liked it!!

[theokotrain]

Vestige - Interlude: The Party

Wattpad Version

As the night fills the sky

All my fears are dissipating

'Cause I feel reassured

That I might make it through

And if all my luck should burn

Then I guess it burned for you

---

April 13th, 2012

I was sitting on my bed, back against the bed frame with my knees raised in front of me, holding up my laptop. I had been spending the last few hours writing an essay for my English class, specifically answering the topic question my teacher had given everybody: "How do our past experiences influence our decisions?". The question was simple enough, it's a pretty universally recognized idea that stuff that happens to us has an effect on our decision making. I mean, that's what it means to grow, right? You gain more knowledge as you live through life and form new memories, and that helps you make more informed decisions in the future.

I've never really been too good at writing anything analytical, especially non-fiction. Essays and research papers that required informed arguments that helped to prove your point? Those were an entirely unknown game to me, one which I had never managed to breeze through. Of course, we were supposed to use some of the books we've read this year as evidence for our arguments, so that at least made it a bit easier, even if most of the books were ones from nearly five decades ago and definitely out of touch at this point. The sound of my laptop's keys clicking as I typed away were the only sounds I could pick up in the room. I had my earphones in for a bit, but those always hurt my ears after a while, so I had taken them out.

Looking at the time in the corner of my laptop screen, it was 4:43 PM. I started writing as soon as I got home from class, so I've only been going for about an hour. Unfortunately, this essay is a non-insignificant amount of my course grade, so I needed to finish this as soon as possible.

God, it's a Friday! I could be out doing something actually fun with Shae and the other guys. Isn't that the whole point of high school? That's what it always seemed like in movies, at least, but I guess I've been a victim of false advertising.

After a bit more time passes, the sound of my phone ringing from my desk brings me out of my writing trance. I sigh, setting my laptop next to me on the bed, not wanting to get out of bed, but eventually forcing myself into maneuvering over to the desk, I grab the phone and flip it open, looking to see the Caller ID.

Shaela.

I instantly accept the call, it's almost second nature at this point. She calls me at least once a day so she can tell me about whatever person is pissing her off that day, or whatever drama she's heard from her other friends. I was never really one for gossip, or whatever, but I did appreciate talking to her.

I put the phone up to my ear, "What's up?" I say, a tinge of fatigue in my voice.

"Hey! Just warning you that I'm like five minutes from your place and you don't have a say in the matter." She replied bluntly. I can hear the sound of cars driving by on the other side of the phone, so she's obviously outside, confirming her words.

I take a deep breath before speaking, "...Why?" I said with exasperated sarcasm.

"Because! I have something to tell you, and if I say it over the phone then I seriously doubt it'll work out in the way I'm hoping it does."

"That clears up nothing, actually, and now I regret picking up."

"Even if you didn't answer, that doesn't stop your parents from letting their son's lovely goody-two-shoes of a friend stop by for a visit!" She exclaimed, a mischievous tone subtly layered in her voice.

She's not wrong.

"Wow, you make this sound like you're sneaking into a high-security building or something." I say, utterly confused at her motives. "Obviously you can come over, but I'm not exactly filled with confidence at whatever you're planning."

"Like I said, I can't tell you yet, but it's gonna be awesome!" She said. There was an unusual perkiness to her that made itself pretty clear over the phone.

Before I can say anything, I'm met with the dial tone, signalling that she had hung up. The only thing I can do at this point is wait for her to get here, I guess. She always lets herself in when she comes over, so I don't make the effort to meet her downstairs. A sudden ping sound fills the quiet room, seeming to come from my laptop. I get back into bed, looking to see where the notification came from.

It's a message from Tyler.

He's definitely the newest member of our little group, if even that. I'm the only person in the group that he's actually friends with so far, despite my efforts to bring him along on any plans we all make. I only met the Grey Wolf back in February, at the beginning of the second semester, in the school's photography class. Nobody I knew signed up for it, and due to our prestigious high school's advanced budget for technology, we were forced to be paired up for shared computer use in the Photography Room. I suppose Tyler was also fortunate enough to not know anybody in the class, as we ended up being paired together by the teacher. He was definitely someone I could only describe as uninterested, as the first week or two I spent with him in that class consisted of him either giving me one word answers or answering in the most blunt, bored tone he could manage. Though, it seemed that it took a bit of persistence on my part to push him to be more open, and since then he's grown to be a pretty great friend.

Tyler: u goin to that party tonight ive been hearin about?

Party? I wasn't made aware of anything like that, at least... not yet. Something in the back of my brain was telling me that Shae had ulterior motives about coming to my place so suddenly, but I'm still hoping that I'm wrong. I hate parties.

Jake: party? havent heard anything, are u going?

Tyler: thinkin about it

think its gonna be over at chris's place, guess his parents r gone for the weekend or somethin

Jake: chrisssss? ughh that guy is such an asshole

Tyler: yeah u dont havee to go, but itd prob be more fun to have someone u actually know there

The way he worded that was directed at me, but I could tell he didn't want to go on his own.

Jake: i guess ill think about it

Tyler: sickk, call me if u make up ur mind

Before I can type my farewells over IM, Shaela energetically bursts through the door.

"Jesus! You scared the shit outta me, don't you knock?" I said, mildly exasperated.

"Oh come on, I literally called you a few minutes ago, you had plenty of time to not make a situation where it'd be a bad idea for me to barge in," She replies, laughing, before setting her bag on the ground and dramatically falling into my bed. "Today was garbage."

"What happened?"

"Ugh, Claire decided to just not show up, I guess, on the day we're supposed to present that stupid History project? And, obviously, she didn't give me her part of the project or anything, so I had tell Mr Thomas about the situation, which was fucking embarrassing." She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Luckily, he said he wouldn't reduce my grade for handing it in late, since I actually had my part finished. God, what a bitch- I must've called her like thirty times before class to get her to email me her part, and every time it went straight to voicemail - and she told me last night that she'd have it ready for today!"

"Have you gotten a hold of her yet?" I asked, closing my laptop and setting it beside me.

Shae turns her head to me, shaking her head, "Nope, she's been ghosting me all day."

"Sounds like typical Claire."

"Yeah, I shouldn't have partnered with her, but apparently I can't say no to anyone, so..." I chuckle lightly in response. "Anyways! I didn't just come here to complain to you!" She says, sitting up on the bed, now facing towards me.

"Right... So what was so important that you just had to tell me in person?" I say, sarcastically.

"Like I said, if I asked you over the phone you would've definitely said no, and my ability to pressure you into doing things isn't as effective unless it's in person!" She responded.

I subtly rolled my eyes, but it's clear she noticed from the stare-down she gave me, "Okay, so what is it?"

"Soooooo..." She says, trying to find the rest of the words, "There's a party."

Wow.

"Wh- did everybody know about that party except for me?!?" I exclaimed.

Shaela's face quickly turns to an expression of shock, "Who told you?"

"Tyler did, like, not even five minutes ago." I say, bluntly.

"What? How does he know Chris?"

"Friend-of-a-friend, I'm guessing?"

"Hmm..." She hummed, thinking about something, "So, did you tell him you were going?"

"I specifically said I'd think about it, nothing definite." I made it clear in my tone that I wasn't particularly interested.

"Oh, come on, dude! It'll be fun!"

I didn't really have an interest in going, but I know it'd make Shae happy, plus it'd be nice to hang out with Tyler again even if we've only known each other for a couple months.

"...Fine. But, if Chris or any of his buddies start shit, I'm leaving."

"Awesome!"

"Lemme just call Tyler and let him know," I said as I grabbed my phone and flipped it open, finding Tyler in my contact list and dialling.

"You gonna bring him with-" The phone rings a few times before he picks up and I extend my hand out towards Shae in a shushing motion. She rolls her eyes, smirking.

"Hey? So are ya gonna go?" He said eagerly.

"Well, Shae showed up at my door literally right after you messaged me, asking the same thing!" I exclaimed in a fake-preppy voice. "So, I guess I have no choice since she'll probably just drag me there if I say no," I joked. She nods her head toward me in response.

"Oh, is she going too?" He inquired.

"Yeah, I guess so! Your place is kinda on the way to Chris', so we could probably meet you at your place and go from there."

"Yeah! Sounds good!" He quickly responded.

I laughed, "Okay, we'll call you when we get there?"

"Sure thing!"

We exchanged our farewells, and hung up. The party wasn't for at least another hour or two, so Shae and I had some time to burn, of which I was entirely out of ideas. I figured I could at least spend this time actually being productive, so I grabbed my laptop and continued on writing my English essay as Shae resumed her previous conversation topic of stuff at school that was pissing her off. It was pretty entertaining, to be fair. She was telling me about how Chris had gotten in a fight with this other kid in our grade yesterday after class, which I wasn't lucky enough to witness, but it was obviously all anyone would talk about for basically the entire day today so word spread around fast. The part I hadn't heard about was that both Chris and the other guy, Nathan, got suspended for a week because of it. Chris was generally an asshole to everybody, including myself, so I didn't feel too bad about that. Although, I didn't know Nathan all that well. Other than having a few classes together, I don't think I've ever held an actual conversation with the guy. I think it was safe to assume that Chris was the one who started it, and Shae seemed to agree with me, even though she hadn't seen the fight either.

"But, apparently Nathan's gonna show up tonight!" She exclaimed coyly.

"...Remind me again why you want me to go to this specific party?"

"You'll have a great time! It's not like we'll be involved in the drama anyway so think of it more as entertainment!"

"I think you and I have different definitions of the word 'entertainment'," I joked.

"I'm sure you can go run off somewhere with Tyler if you're not having fun," She said, her tone reminding me of my mom.

"Oh yeah? What about you?"

"I can't just leave Alex at a party with Chris, those two start shit between each other so much and I'd rather not deal with the aftermath of that today."

"I'm guessing it's safe to assume that Elliot's going too, then?"

"He's not big on parties, but he'll usually go if everyone else is, unlike somebody," She says, gesturing towards me.

"Good one," I reply, unmoving as I keep typing away at my assignment.

"Well, we should probably leave soon since we're stopping at Tyler's place on the way.

I saved the document I had been working on, closing my laptop. "Sounds good to me!"

---

"I can't believe you actually agreed to go." Tyler joked as we walked towards the road from his house.

"Yeah, me either." I replied. I definitely didn't put in any effort in dressing up for the party, opting for a snug space-themed graphic tee, along with black jeans and a white zip-up hoodie. Shae and Tyler both stand on opposite sides of me as we walk down the sidewalk.

"Luckily I learned the subtle techniques in convincing you to do things against your better judgement, so now you get to have fun for once!" Shae exclaimed.

"It's not my fault that going to a party is literally the last thing on earth I'd do for fun in any normal situation." I retorted, putting my hands in the pockets of my jacket.

"Oh yeah? And what do you consider a 'normal situation'?" Shae asks.

"Any situation where you guys aren't the ones trying to get me to go! I'm only doing this for you two, y'know." I said, looking over at both of them.

"What about Elliot and Alex?" Tyler chimed in.

"They aren't the ones asking me to go to this party." I sarcastically remarked, trying to keep the conversation light-hearted. "Speaking of the party- this is Chris we're talking about, there's gonna be beer, right?"

"Uh, duh?" Shae replied.

"Yeah, that's a definite no for me, I'm already enough of a disappointment to my parents,"

"No one's making you drink, Jake. At least you'd be safe if some old hag called the cops about the noise." Shae said.

"I think at that point we're guilty by association, so we'd just make a run for it if that happens," Tyler joked.

"Dude, the chance of me outrunning a police officer successfully is about as likely as me not wanting to punch Chris tonight."

"And the chance of you winning that fight is just as low!" Shae retorted, Tyler laughing in response.

"I specifically said 'want' because of that very reason!"

"Wow, I'd pay money to see you fight that guy." Tyler said, nudging his elbow into my side.

It isn't a secret that I'm not exactly athletic. I mean, I'm definitely not weak, but fighting basically any animal of a similar size to mine was not a situation that favoured my victory.

"That sounds more like just getting the shit kicked outta me for your entertainment." I remarked, lightly punching Tyler's shoulder in return.

"Absolutely worth every penny!" Shae exclaimed. Luckily, the place wasn't any more than ten minutes away from Tyler's place, so I didn't have to endure listening to these two talk about me getting beat up for much longer.

We finally make it to Chris' house, and I'm suddenly filled with an impending sense of regret. Obviously, my parents would never in a million years agree to me going to a party like this. As far as they know, I'm just spending the evening hanging out with Shae at Tyler's house. So yeah, this entire night had a lot of potential for disaster.

Shae can clearly see my hesitation, because she grabs my hand, leading me up the walkway, Tyler following closely behind.

"I wonder if Elliot and Alex beat us here?" She says, knocking on the front door.

"I doubt they had anything to do earlier, hell they probably came straight here after school, knowing Alex." I said, laughing.

Our conversation is cut short by the opening door, revealing the familiar black cat.

"Oh, look, the Stephenson kid brought his girlfriend!" Chris exclaimed mockingly, looking back into the house, before peering around my shoulder, "And... Tyler?" He said, inquisitively.

I lean over, blocking Tyler from his line of sight, "Yeah, hey, not dating by the way!" I said. I've known Shae since I first moved to Vestige, around the time I turned five years old, so it wasn't uncommon for rumours to go around that we were dating. I've always thought of her more as a sister, if anything.

"I asked them to come!" Tyler said. That was only partly true, but according to Tyler, they've been 'somewhat-friends' for quite a while now, so saying that would at least mean less mild-harassment from Chris for tonight.

"Oh, uh, okay... come on in! But you're on the hook for any shit they pull, Tyler!" He said, opening the door wider.

---

The party had been going on for a few hours at this point. I could recognize most of the animals here from school, but not enough to actually hold a conversation with any of them, so most of my time here had just been spent with Shae and Tyler. The place hasn't been incredibly crowded luckily, but there were easily about forty others in this part of the house alone. I'm assuming only high school grades were invited, but there were a considerable number of students to meet that requirement. The issue at hand for me, other than how crowded this place is, is that both Shae and Tyler ditched me to go... somewhere? I think Shae saw some of her friends and went somewhere with them, but Tyler was pretty secretive about where he was going, only telling me that he'd be back in a bit. So I've been standing here in this random corner of the house with a drink in hand, trying to make myself look busy and not awkward, which is exactly why I didn't want to go to this party in the first place!

"Jake!" A voice shouted from a ways away.

I turn my head in confusion, revealing Alex, walking towards me from across the room.

"Oh, Alex! Hey! What's up dude!" I finish the last bit of my soda, waving at him. Because this was Chris' party, there was obviously beer too, but I didn't feel like coming home drunk and my parents finding out.

"I didn't think you'd wanna come to something like this! Feeling the regret yet?"

"I like parties! It's the times like these when I'm standing in a corner by myself with nothing to do that I hate, which seems to happen every time I go to a party!" I exclaimed, pausing for a moment. "Okay, maybe I do hate parties- I've had to explain this so many times today I'm about ready to jump into Lake Ambuscade."

' "Wow, sounds like somebody needs to socialize instead of stewing in a corner for the rest of the night!"

"Socialize? Really? I know just about everybody here and just about none of them are worth talking-"

"Hang with me and Elliot, then? Justin set up some racing games in the other room, we were gonna join, but we could use a fourth... You in?" He said, his tone obviously trying to sound coercing.

"God, please, anything to get me out of this corner for the next three hours." I said, Alex returning my words with a laugh.

"Well, come on then! We'll have to hurry if we want to get one of the good controllers!" He exclaimed, motioning to follow him.

As we move through the various cliques, I recognize a few faces here and there, though not enough to actually want to talk to them. There's been music playing since we got here, and I have yet to recognize a single song, they all seem to be some form of drone-y bass-heavy music that I can't say I've heard in any normal situations. I'm doing my best to follow Alex, although he keeps weaving between the other animals faster than I can keep up, resulting in me having to shove past everyone near me in an effort to speed myself up. Luckily, it seems that no one notices me anyway.

When we arrive in the other room, it seems to just be another living room, but decorated with a galore of punk band posters, shelves holding more DVD cases than I would ever care to count, and even a mini-fridge. Maybe Chris is the type to have a 'man cave' or something? Just hearing that phrase almost makes me want to vomit, but there aren't any more accurate words that come to mind. The room isn't massive or anything, but the TV resting upon the wall across the room seems to challenge that idea, looking almost eighty inches in size. Luckily no randoms from the party were in here, sitting about ten feet away from the TV is Elliot, leaning back in a purple bean bag chair that seems almost three times bigger than him, and Justin, the cougar I'd only known slightly through Alex, laying down sideways on the couch directly in front of the gigantic screen.

"Whatttt! You took the bean bag chair? Lameee..." Alex whined.

"You're the one who wanted to go get Jake, you snooze you lose!" Elliot retorted, looking oddly proud of himself.

"Damn, wish I had a room like this at my house..." I mumbled, looking around the room.

"Are we gonna play or what?" Justin said, cutting through the momentary silence.

"Duh!" Alex claimed.

Justin sits up, taking the spot on the couch closest to Elliot. I opt for the leftmost seat, and Alex sits in-between the both of us. Elliot grabs the other three controllers and tosses them over at us, one by one. Luckily, there weren't any garbage third-party controllers, so at least none of us would have to deal with that. I will admit, it did feel kinda weird going to someone's party just to play games away from everybody, but I would be lying if I said I didn't prefer that, even though I rarely play games, if ever.

After Justin turns the console on, he goes through the menus, launching the game. I can't say I recognize the title, but it seems to be a pretty standard racing game. He goes into the custom mode, opting for a four-player split-screen match, choosing 'R1' as the category of cars to race in. As everyone chooses their cars, I scroll through the list, not really knowing what to pick. I've never been good with car stuff, so I pick an 'Aston Martin Lola' just based on the number-rating system the game ranks the cars with.

"You guys ready?" Justin asks.

"Oh yeah, get ready to eat my dust you guys!" Elliot exclaims, challengingly.

"Oddly prideful words for someone about to lose!" Alex replies, laughing.

The countdown begins, as the cameras slowly show the view of each car as it moves to the rear. When it starts, I somehow manage the fuckup of spinning my tires out, leaving me a few seconds behind the others as the car swerves back and forth. I curse under my breath as I try to regain control of the car, and swiftly pick up speed. The track seems like nothing I haven't seen before, a typical professional track, with rows and rows of audience seating to the side. Unfortunately, I'm now in last place. The next few moments of the track are a few quick corners, allowing me the chance to catch up, at least a little.

Unexpectedly, the track turns off of the main road, going into a forested area. The road is considerably more narrow at this point, so it takes a conscious effort to not drive into the trees by the asphalt. It looks like the road stretches on forever, as I still can't make out any upcoming turns. I guess the car I chose for the race had a better top speed than Justin's, as I'm quickly catching up to him, moving into third place. I'm gripping my controller to an uncomfortable degree, but I can't seem to relax the tension as I try to make my way into second place. I don't think I can pick up any more speed in this car, so me moving up is reliant on the road staying straight for just a bit longer. After what feels like a lifetime, the front of my car finally starts making it past Elliot's, then the midsection, and finally, I'm in second. The sound of all four car engines is drowning out any remnants of the video game music, and I feel the sudden urge to curse out whoever turned the TV volume up this high. My eyes are focused entirely on Alex's car as I make my final push into first place. If I were actually driving this fast in the real world, I'd be scared out of my fucking mind. Out of nowhere, Alex, and the others, begins to slow down considerably.

Oh fuck.

It's at that point I notice that there is a sharp right turn rapidly approaching. I've been pushing the top-speed of this car since the beginning of this stretch of road, and now I'm going too quickly to stop in time. What's the button to use the handbrake, again? I figure that the only way for me to not fuck up this race for myself is to try to drift around the corner. Considering I've never played this game before, it's going to prove to be a challenge. But, it's either that, or just ending up in dead-last again.

I hold down the A button, and pull the joystick as far to the right as possible. Suddenly, all I can hear from the game is the loud skidding sounds of my tires against the asphalt. To my surprise, I cut the corner a bit early, now going over the grass. I try to do a bit of directional-corrections and start heading back onto the track. Going over the grass definitely slowed me down a fair bit, but it definitely was a significantly better outcome over just crashing into the wall. And, to my surprise, the corner of my screen reads... first?!?

"How the fuck...?" Alex questions, seemingly in disbelief.

"I wish I could tell you." I replied, eyes wide at whatever the fuck just happened.

The distance I managed to gain on Alex isn't by a whole lot, but there's only about a quarter of the track left before we reach the finish line, so I have a chance at winning this. The track hurriedly changes from the forest as it reenters the main track. The long, straight roads seem to end as the road becomes a slow series of sharp turns, never giving me the opportunity to get back up to speed. It seems like the high top speed was my only advantage, because at every corner we take, I turn my camera around, revealing the other cars inching closer and closer to me.

I can see the finish line on the mini-map, just a few more turns away. I know that I'm not gonna be able to distance myself from Alex and the others at this point, so my only feasible strategy is to keep moving, cutting the corners as fast as I can, and getting to the finish line before they can pass me. Unfortunately, Alex's car seems to be getting too close for comfort now, meaning I might have to take some risks to ensure I can stay in first. As we approach the final turn, leading into the finish line, I realise I'm gonna have to try to drift this corner. I can feel my pointer finger practically cracking the plastic on the controller from the amount of pressure I'm putting on the right trigger. In a final plea to win, I push down on the A button, pulling the handbrake. The car starts to smoothly skid around the corner. Luckily, there are barriers on the sides of the road this time, preventing me from sliding onto the grass. To my surprise, the drift seems to work better than expected. That is, until, like the fucking idiot I am, make a slight overcorrection towards the left barriers as I exit the drift. I managed to avoid driving directly into the wall, but it did slow me down a bit.

Alex is immediately behind me, and I put all of my strength into accelerating towards the finish line. I'd be fucked if I broke the controller, cause I can't really afford the fifty dollars to buy a new one, but winning this race is more important to me at the moment. The finish line is only about five-hundred metres away, and Alex is slowly beginning to pass. All I can do at this point is push the gas as much as I can, and pray that I can cross the finish line before he can get back into first place. The finish line gets closer and closer, and it seems like it's gonna be too close for me to accurately tell the winner. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest from how stressful this fucking game has been, and now, we're about to find out whose efforts paid off. As each car makes its way over the finish line, each of our dedicated sections of the screen turns to slow motion. When it's finally over, the text fades in on each screen, revealing our place...

...

...

...Second?!?

"FUCK!" I shouted, realising I had been holding my breath since the final stretch of the race.

"HA! Dude, you suck!" Alex exclaimed, playfully shoving me.

"I think that was the most effort I've put into anything in my life." I said, setting my controller on the coffee table in front of me.

"Wow, that's dramatic," Justin remarked.

"Yeah, that's the usual for Jake," Elliot replied, laughing.

"You probably woulda won if you picked a better car, dude. That track was way too close-quarters so you should've gone with a car with better acceleration." Alex said.

"Wha- do you own this game?" I questioned, looking accusatory.

"...Yeah? It came out a few months ago, pretty popular right now." He replied.

"Ugh, this is what I get for playing with a bunch of gamers." I exclaimed, applying a disgusted tone to the last word.

"Not my fault you only play like one game a month!" Alex joked.

"Even then, I was like this close to beating you anyway!" I said, gesturing a minuscule distance between my thumb and pointer finger.

A voice interrupts our argument, coming from right outside the room, "Uh huh...

...

Really? That's bullshit! Come on...

...

Dude, give me a couple of days, I'll make it right!

...

Yeah, I swear."

It seems that we all stopped talking to listen in at the same time. "That sounds like Tyler... who's he arguing with?" Elliot asked. I can't make out the voice of whoever he's talking to, it just sounds like mumbling.

They seem to pause for a moment, and the sound of a single set of footsteps can be heard.

"Fuck..." Tyler says to himself, still out of view.

"...I should probably see what's up, you guys can keep playing without me." I say, getting up from my spot on the couch.

"Yeah, you do that! Less competition for me," Alex exclaims, laughing to himself.

"Hey, I can still beat your ass at this game, I know exactly which car to pick this time!" Elliot argued.

"Yeah, right! Guess we'll find out!"

I leave as the three start up another game, kind of glad I don't have to have another near-heart attack from playing again. When I get back into the dimly-lit hallway, Tyler is nowhere to be seen.

I look around, heading into the main room of the house to see if I can spot him. It's pretty difficult to see anything, because of how dim it is here, plus the sheer amount of animals crowding up the place. Despite that, I manage to spot the Grey Wolf a ways away, hurrying quickly into the bathroom.

As I shove my way through a few groups of teens, I almost fall over a few times, gaining confused stares from a few in the room. I lightly knock on the bathroom door, waiting for a response, "Hey, you okay Tyler?" After a few moments, I'm returned with no answer, "...Tyler-" Before I can finish my sentence, Tyler swiftly pulls open the bathroom door, pulling me in and shutting the door behind me, before sitting down on the side of the bathtub. As I'm about to say something, I hear the sound of him sniffling.

...Is he crying?

He's looking towards the floor, so I can't confirm it visually, but the sound definitely gives it away.

"Whoa, what's wrong? Did something happen?" I asked worriedly, not yet choosing to bring up the argument we overheard.

There's a few seconds of silence as he tries to bring himself together, not very successfully. "I- I... I don't- I don't think I can-"

"It's fine, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I tried to reassure him. He raises his head for a moment to look at me, trying to find words to say, instead opting to go back to crying, head in his hands. I've never been good with situations like this, so I sit down next to him, putting my hand on his upper back, softly patting.

"I'm sorry- I'm a fucking idiot. I shouldn't have asked you to come."

"Hey! I've been having fun! Don't worry about me, it seems like you're the one who shouldn't have come." I joke, in some effort to lighten the mood.

Shit, was that inconsiderate of me to say?

To my surprise, he manages to let out a light laugh, "Yeah, I'm starting to realise that."

"...Do you wanna leave, then? They know I didn't want to go here in the first place, so you could just say you're being nice and walking me home." I didn't know if he would actually take up that offer, but I know some guys have a weird thing about not wanting to seem 'uncool' and leaving a party early was definitely considered that.

He thinks for a moment, still sniffling pretty noticeably. "...okay, just- give me a minute, I don't want to go out there looking like this." He mumbles, looking towards the door.

"Yeah, that's fine." I said, continuing to rub around his neck area.

This definitely wasn't how I expected the night to go. But it was a sort of 'two-birds-with-one-stone' kind of situation. I get to help out Tyler, which is usually the other way around, I get to leave early, and hopefully Shae stops bugging me about going to parties, at least for a while.

Now that I think about it, that analogy is pretty messed up.

A few silent minutes go by as I sit next to the still-crying Tyler, waiting for him to recollect himself. Even though he hasn't actually said anything here, in the two months I've known him, this is probably the most vulnerable I've ever seen him. When I first met him, it was pretty accurate to describe him as the kind of guy who acts like he never feels emotion. Hell, even I refuse to be open about my feelings, but most of my friends see through that nowadays. Even now, I don't really understand why I do that. I guess it's just easier to not talk about shit like that? Is that why Tyler does it?

"I think I'm good now," He said, shaking his hands as he stood up.

"Okay, let's get out of this dumpster fire." I sarcastically remarked. Tyler shot me a confused look in return. "Whatever, let's just go."

I open the bathroom door, grabbing his arm as I lead him out into the main room. Almost immediately the voice of a certain black cat perks up behind us.

"Oh? And what did you two get up to in there?" Chris remarked, laughing, "I didn't know you guys were THAT kind of friends!"

God damnit. This stupid fucking feline.

"Yeah, it's too loud out here for me, I needed a break, he came with." I explained, Tyler standing closely behind me with a confused look on his face. Just roll with it, dude, I think to myself, knowing I probably shouldn't say that out loud.

"You know, I would believe that, but normal guys actually just go outside when they need a break." He replied.

"Well, hey! That's where we're going right now, so it all checks out!" I say in the bitchiest voice I can muster.

"Heh, sure thing, Jake." He said, sounding weirdly satisfied with himself. I didn't want to spend any more time in this fucking house than I needed to, especially while talking to Chris, so I continue on, pulling Tyler by the hand towards the exit. After a few moments, we make it to the front door. I promptly open it and we both head outside.

We're immediately greeted by the light of the moon and the starry sky as we head down the walkway toward the street. One of the few benefits of living in such a backwater town was the absence of any significant light pollution. I've been to Portland a few times for school field trips and such, and seeing the sheer difference in visible stars was absolutely staggering. I could only imagine what it would be like to go stargazing in the middle of nowhere.

"At least it's a nice night out." I said.

"Yeah..." Tyler replied, his mind clearly in a completely different place.

"I should probably tell Shae where we went, so she doesn't freak out trying to find us back there." I joked, pulling out my cell phone. Texting on my flip phone was an arduous task, but I didn't want to call her, so I had not much of a choice.

I send the text, and close my phone, returning it to my pocket. As we walk down the road, we stew in the silence, the only auditory sounds coming from the party still close by, and the local crickets chirping.

I won't lie, as much as I usually appreciate quiet, this is the loudest silence I've ever been stuck in. It goes on for more than five minutes. I could tell he wanted to say something, and I was eager to find out whatever was going on that started this in the first place. But, like the coward I am, I try to lighten the mood.

"Hopefully that satisfied your quota of me going to parties with you for a while, cause I do not plan on having the energy for something like that again for at least a few months." I said, awkwardly laughing. He doesn't respond, at least for a while, as he raises his hand, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "...Uhh, are you sure you don't wanna talk about it? I mean-"

"Can I tell you something?" He interrupted, his voice still cracking like it was in the bathroom.

"...Sure?" I replied, slightly confused.

"It's just that- I don't really know- like what-"

"-to say? Just think for a minute. No rush." That's what my dad always says whenever my mind spirals. I used to be really anxious, although I've been getting better at controlling my thoughts in the past few years.

When I went to text Shae a few minutes ago, my phone's clock read 9:48 PM. I'm supposed to be home at ten and we're still at least twenty minutes away, not even including the detour we'll take to get to Tyler's place. Which brings me to the realisation that, when we get to his house, I'm gonna have to walk the rest of the way home by myself, in the dark. If I get murdered by some serial killer this late at night I'm gonna fucking haunt Shae from the afterlife-

"I think I'm gay," He quickly says, his voice holding a noticeable increase in energy compared to what I've been used to tonight.

Well... can't say that's exactly what I was expecting. Was I expecting anything in particular? I honestly don't know anymore. His words took me by surprise, my brain is kind of scrambled right now. I look over at him - he's looking back at me, probably trying to gauge my reaction. I did my best to conceal any facial reaction, but it's pretty clear that my lack of a response is starting to become noticeable.

"...You... think?"

"Well, like- I don't know. I guess I've just been thinking for a while, and it makes sense... all things considered." He replied anxiously.

"That- That's great! Does anyone else know?"

"I only really realised a few weeks ago, so... no. But compared to anyone else, I probably trust you the most to not like- tell anyone?" He said, looking over at me again.

"Well, I appreciate the completely undeserved confidence you have in me," I joked, realising too late that now probably isn't the time for that, "Yeah, I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you," He replies, a genuine smile strewn across his face.

A few minutes go by as we walk down the road, absorbing the positive energy we created. Having only known Tyler for a little over two months, it definitely surprised me knowing that he trusted me more than anyone else to keep a secret like that... I mean, despite the short amount of time since I met him, I'm as close to him as I've been to Shaela for the past eight years. Maybe even closer? I barely even tell Shae about my actual problems, at least the non-surface level stuff. So yeah, I guess it makes sense that he would trust me with something so important, I know I would absolutely trust him if it were me in that situation.

"...So, do you think you're gonna tell your dad?"

He didn't say anything for a moment as he stared down at the ground beneath him, "I'll probably have to tell him soon, if he has to find out from some asshole that isn't me it'd make it ten times more difficult than if I just said it myself."

I agreed, and we let the conversation cut itself off as we finally approached Tyler's house. I followed him up the walkway and stood on the patio, making sure he actually got inside. He tries the doorknob eagerly, to no avail. Realising that it was locked, he reaches into his pocket for his key - again, to no avail.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," Tyler mumbled under his breath, clearly done with tonight. All of the lights were off in the house, signalling that his dad was not awake.

"Maybe you'll wake him up if you knock? Then he can let you in."

"Nonono, he thinks I'm staying at your place! If he finds out I went to a party I'm in deep shit," He whispered.

Of course. If I had to lie to my parents, why would I expect anything different from anyone else?

"Okay, uhh... maybe we can make that lie... not a lie?" I said, sounding weirder than I'd like.

Tyler looked at me, confused for a moment, eyes widening as he realised what I meant, "I can't let you do that, I've already forced you through too much shit tonight."

"Oh, come on, of course you can sleep at my place for the night! My parents think I'm at your house right now, so I can just tell them that we both went over there early in the morning. They love you anyway, so it won't be a problem!"

He didn't move at all, still looking reluctant, "Are you sure it won't be... weird? I don't want to put you in an awkward situation cause of w- what I told you."

"Dude, that couch in my room has a hide-a-bed if you don't want to share mine. Either way, we're friends, aren't we? I trust you."

After a few moments of silence, he speaks up, "...I guess so-"

"Great, then it's settled!" I said, putting my arm around his shoulder as I led him back down the walkway.

---

Once we make it to my place, walk up the creaky wooden steps of my patio as I fish the house key out of my pocket. Tyler's standing closely behind me, looking awkward as ever, clearly not knowing what to do with his hands as he switches between putting them in his pockets and clasping them together.

I turn the key on the lock and try the door, noticing that It's completely pitch black inside the house. My parents usually go to bed at 10 PM, and it was well past that at this point. I lock the door behind us as I reach for my pocket, grabbing my phone and flipping it open to use as a barely-useful flashlight. I take Tyler's wrist as I lead him through the furniture of my living room and up the stairs. The only sounds in the house come from the soft ticking of a clock in the kitchen, the sound of which has always freaked me out whenever I'd come downstairs at three in the morning. Despite my best efforts to be as quiet as possible, the old wooden boards of the stairs prove my effort to be futile as they creak with every step. I can only hope that both of my parents have fallen asleep by now, or else they'd definitely have heard us. As I take Tyler down the hallway, walls strung with various family photos and art fit for a motel, I hear no sounds coming from the master bedroom, relaxing some of my tension.

Once we make it to my room, I breathe a sigh of relief as I turn on the overhead light, hoping my mom doesn't find out and try to lecture me in the morning, "Okay, hide-a-bed or mine, your choice!"

"Hide-a-bed." He replies.

"Sure thing, lemme show you how to set it up," I say as I remove each couch cushion one by one. The couch is sitting directly under my massive bedroom window, illuminated by the glow of the moon. Under the cushions is a black folded-up contraption, bearing a metal handle. I grab the handle and start pulling the bed out from the couch. As the first section of the bed comes out, Tyler stands next to me and helps unfold the second section, and finally the third.

I move over to open the closet door, "I have some spare pillows and blankets in here."

"So, why do you have a spare bed... thingy... in your room anyway?" He asked.

"My cousins' family came to visit from the other side of the country a few years back, so my parents made the cousins stay in my room and gave me our old couch that used to be in the living room. They were here for like two weeks, it was fucking awful," I remarked, pulling a comforter out of the closet and unfolding it out on the mattress.

"That sounds miserable," Tyler sympathized.

"It was, but hey, now I got a sick as fuck couch in my room! And it works as a great place for certain friends to sleep when they wanna spend the night," I said sarcastically, looking over at Tyler as I grabbed the pillows from the closet, tossing them to one end of the bed.

He turned his head, baffled, "Was that a dig on me?" He questioned.

"Depends on how you took it I suppose," I replied, smiling cunningly.

"You're the one who offered, dude- are you sure you didn't drink at the party? You've at least doubled your usual level of sarcasm." He retorted.

"Nope, unless somebody spiked my soda!" I joked, but the realisation slowly set in, "Oh shit- maybe someone spiked my soda?!?"

"Don't freak out, I seriously doubt someone would spike your drink,"

"God, I hope so, if my parents found out I went to that party, that'd be one thing, but if I got drunk? I doubt I'd see the outside world for months," I sighed.

"Even if you were drunk, it's not like you would still be drunk in the morning for them to find out, anyway."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I said, letting out a yawn shortly thereafter. "Fuck, I didn't realise how tired I am." Looking at my alarm clock, it was 10:37 PM. That wasn't terribly late, I've definitely stayed up later when there was an assignment due the next day that I forgot about, but even before I met up with Alex and Elliot, that party was just wearing me down. "At least I can sleep in 'till like noon tomorrow. You sure you don't need anything before I pass out from exhaustion?"

"No, I'm okay, I think. And, thank you... Jake." He replied, smiling at me.

"No problem, dude!" I quietly exclaimed as I turned off the bedroom lights and hopped into bed. I can practically feel my muscles dissolve as I lean into the mattress, pulling the heavy blankets over me as I close my eyes.

I can't help but feel something itching in the back of my brain. I never did find out why Tyler was even crying back at the party. Was it related to what he told me after? He sounded pretty upset when he was talking to whoever it was in the hallway, too, so maybe that was why? We've already talked about so much shit tonight, though, and I definitely did not have the energy to have another huge conversation about something like that. It could definitely wait until tomorrow.

Soon, I feel my consciousness drift away, the only sound I can make out being the slow breathing of Tyler, across the room.

---

As I wake up, I'm blinded by the bright sun shining in through my windows, directly into my eyes. I glance over at my alarm clock, feeling incredibly groggy and sore, noticing that it's 11:13 AM. Usually, the latest I'd sleep in on weekends was only around ten, but I guess it took a lot of my energy yesterday to try to tune the party out. At least it's over.

I slowly sit up, yawning as I lean back against the bed frame. I glanced around the room, noticing that the hide-a-bed had been folded back into the couch, Tyler nowhere to be seen. I reach over to my bedside table to check my phone, finding an unread text from him, sent a few hours ago.

Tyler: hey

woke up early, figured youd want 2 sleep in.

will call u later, might have somthin big i wanna share, will see

A pair of oddly cryptic messages. Guess that confirms he isn't here anymore.

At least it was a Saturday, meaning that I had full permission to be a slob. I get out of bed, deciding to skip my usual shower until after breakfast. Other than the snacks that were out at the party, I ate practically nothing last night. I could almost feel my stomach turning itself inside out, so I hurried out of my room and downstairs to the kitchen to have some breakfast.

The first thing I notice when I get downstairs is my mom, sitting on the couch with a book. I head straight to the kitchen, trying not to make myself stand out.

"Jake! Finally woken up, I see." She remarked, still looking at her book.

"Hey, mom!" There's a moment of silence as I grab a bowl out of the cupboard, as well as a box of cereal, and begin to pour.

She speaks up, "Your friend, Tyler, seemed to be in a hurry to leave this morning, anything I should know about?"

"...Not that I know of? Like what?" I questioned as I poured some milk from the fridge, grabbed a spoon, and sat at the kitchen counter.

"Well, it's not like we didn't notice that you weren't home by ten like your father asked you to be, so obviously you must have a good excuse for why you didn't at least call to let us know you'd be late?" She replied. I could tell when she started talking all responsible-parent-like, it meant that she was gonna lecture me about something.

I sighed, thinking of the right thing to say. "...Well, Tyler was going through some things... so I was trying to help him with that, I guess. Time just kinda flew by and I wasn't able to get home 'till later."

"So he spent the night here? Weren't you at his house?" She asked as I ate a spoonful of cereal.

"Yeah... we went out for a bit and once I noticed how late it was I offered to let him spend the night at our house since it was closer," I said. Almost entirely a lie, but definitely preferable to the truth.

"Jake..." She said, setting her book down on the coffee table in front of the couch, walking over to me, and resting a hand on my shoulder. "You're sixteen now, obviously we don't expect you to tell us everything you're up to nowadays. But we worry about you! I worry about you. Just for future reference, please let us know if you're gonna be home late or anything like that."

"Okay, I'll keep that in mind," I said, looking up at her.

"Great! Now, I have to go meet a friend for lunch, please try not to burn the house down while I'm out!" She said as she grabbed her purse and keys off of the counter, hurring out the door.

"No promises, love you!" I said as she closed the door behind her.

Well, I guess that went... better than expected? I doubt she believed that story I made up, but I guess as long as I don't break curfew without telling them, I should be fine.

Having the house to myself wasn't totally uncommon. Considering my dad was gone during the day five days a week, and my mom would head out to go meet friends or run errands pretty often, I got some much needed alone time often enough to not go mad.

As I finish my bowl of cereal, I realise that I probably should go shower as soon as possible, considering the night I had. I put my bowl and spoon in the dishwasher and head back upstairs. I grab a towel from my room and head into the bathroom, grabbing my various fur care products out of the cabinet for after the shower. As I turn the shower on, I hear the sound of my ringtone going off in the pocket of my pants on the floor. I sigh annoyedly, walking over and trying to figure out which pocket my phone was in. When I flip open the phone, the Caller ID reads out Tyler's name.

"Tyler! What's up?" I ask eagerly, hoping to find out what the news he cryptically texted about was.

"Jake- fuck, I messed up, I shouldn't have- what am I gonna do?" He said anxiously, sounding almost out of breath.

"Hey! Slow down, what's wrong?" I questioned.

"I'm such a fucking idiot! Why did I think this would be a good idea? Jake, I'm so sorry-"

"Tyler! Calm. Down. Just take a few deep breaths," I said. After a few moments, I can hear his breathing steadying on the other side of the call. "Okay, good. Now, what's wrong?"

There's a short pause as he tries to find the right words to say. It sounds like he's been crying. What even the fuck has been the past twenty-four hours?

"Can- do you think I could crash at y- your place for a few more nights? I don't know what to do."

[agardenintheshire]

Hello! This is your Tolkien Secret Santa! I am working on your gift and was wondering if there was anything specific you are interested in reading about Gimli, Eowyn, or the Hobbits. I have a few ideas I have been playing with, but I would love to hear from you what would make this gift special! -Your Santa

hiiii my dear secret santaaaa i hope u are doing well! hmmm ive been thinking abt this all day but honestly i havent really come up w anything as ive been working on uni stuff (no thoughts brain empty). maybe ill just ramble a little about the characters and youll get some more ideas? although i'm sure the ones you have are already very good! actually in the past few years gimli has become one of my favourite characters. in the movies he's mostly a comedic sidekick but in the books there's so much more to him! like the parts after moria when he takes frodo to see the lake and recites poetry...the very deep (&sad) history of the dwarves that he carries with him and knows deeply about. and his relationship with legolas ofc but also hes soooo fond of the hobbits its so cute. AND! aragorn would have chosen him only to go with frodo (+himself) when he thought abt splitting up at the end of fotr like talk about an iconic character. but i love movie gimli too dont get me wrong like thats my silly dad. like i said hes mostly comedic but do many of those scenes also showcase his deep loyalty and what needs to get done is getting done attitude. like in rotk when he says certainty of death? small chance of success? what are we waiting for? its funny but also showcases his loyalty and trust in his friends aaa hes willing to die for them. or the scene at the council of elrond when he tries to destroy the ring once again it's funny but also hes like. well if its gotta be destroyed why r we all just sitting here lol lets GET TO IT *smash* aw man yeah i rambled for a bit huh. and eowyn!!!! whats not to love about eowyn!!! i think shes so cool - we love women with swords!!!! - and i love love love that she gets to heal at the end together with faramir. she's brave and outspoken but also very vulnerable and closed off emotionally (in the beginning). also miranda otto is soooooo pretty i want that white dress she wears SO BAD. and yeah hobbits i just love hobbits so much theyre neat little guys. they have SUCH a resilience in them it's astounding. pippin is my husband of now at least 10+ years (ever since i saw the movies!) and i would defend frodo with my goddamn life!!! sam is samwise the brave, setting the bar so high for all of us, and i love how merry can be so silly with pippin and so smart with frodo in the next he really does contain multitudes. im also obsessed with hobbit women that have like 2 descriptors if theyre lucky like yes you go girls i am in love. and bilbo....bilbo really is that old bitch! i prefer ian holm's bilbo i think his acting is so full of gravitas like the air of. hmmm sadness? melancholy? that he has and still hes so full of life and enjoys it and is silly....and hes so fond of frodo it tears at my heartstrings! okay now i rambled quite a bit i'm tired now. hopefully you got something out of this? if not ask again and ill try my best to answer. wishing u a lovely day/night wherever u are! 💜