#need 2 raise my standards asap.. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mytheoristavenue · 2 years ago

Note

Your Gareth fic is literally amazing! Well I mean your writing is but anyways! You don’t have to but I was wondering if you could do a pt.2 to lessons (the gareth fic) cause it was just so good and I really need Eddie’s reaction to hearing his cousin is now dating his best friend :-)

I got so many asks for this one so I just had to do it!

ST Gareth Emerson x Reader - Sneaky 🍋

Warnings: Slight smut, NSFW, MDNI, aggression, angst, language

Summary: (Takes place after the events of 'Lessons'.) You and Gareth had begun to date after that date in his garage, and now struggle to keep your hands off each other in front of Eddie.

Gareth glanced at you with a small smile from across the game table, as if you were giving him luck for his dice throw. As the die flung from his hand, the group cheered, recognizing the face it displayed as a twenty. You congratulated him with a nudge of your foot beneath the table, letting your shoe travel up his leg. He never once broke eye contact with you, save for checking his result, and his grin never faltered.

Eddie's eyes narrowed, his left twitching in annoyance. He'd been suspicious of you both for the few weeks that had passed since your drumming lessons. Every time he'd tried to ask one of you, Gareth would laugh it off, as if it were some ridiculous joke, and you'd gag on air, pretending to be revolted by your secret boyfriend.

"Are you kidding, man? Only in my dreams."

"Bleh! Ew, as if! You act like I have no standards at all!"

In reality, you found Gareth anything but repulsive. In fact, you were having trouble being separate from him, even here, sitting opposite form him was hard. Of course, you didn't mind sitting beside Dustin, but you'd much rather be beside the drummer, possibly even close enough to slyly tease him under the table.

After the game had wrapped up, you stretched, rubbing sleep from your eye, before standing up and grabbing your purse. "I'm tired..." you complained with a yawn. You watched as Gareth raised his arm to drape around you, and quickly slipped out of his reach. You both blushed at the close call and he stuck his hands to his sides.

"C'mon, nerd," he chuckled coolly, in an attempt to pass the awkward moment. "I'll drive you home." You nodded, turning to leave with him, only for the strap of your purse to be caught, halting you.

"Not so fast," you cousin chuckled suspiciously. "Wayne wants me to drive you, he made dinner and wants us home ASAP." Eddie smirked, turning to your boyfriend as he let you go. "That means your on babysitting duty, Emerson." Gareth's smile dropped, glancing at the freshman (and middle schooler) beyond his shoulder.

"What?" he protested, thinking up an excuse for why he couldn't take the kids home. "That's bogus and you know it! I can't fit five people in my car, it's not even big enough to fu-!" Suddenly, Gareth's eyes snapped to your wide ones, promptly shutting his mouth. Eddie glared at him accusingly.

"Big enough to what? Fuuuuh?"

The junior's palms began to sweat as he searched the room for a lie. "Fuhhh....Fucking-" he mumbled, trying to buy himself some time. "Fucking get groceries!"

"Groceries?" the DM cocked his brow.

"Yeah." your boyfriend stammered, twiddling with the hem of his flannel. "I can't even go get groceries for me mom, 'cuz the backseat's too small."

"Uh-huh." Eddie nodded, dropping the conversation for now. "Whatever, just take the Sinclairs home and I'll take Wheeler and Henderson."

Gareth sighed, relieved as the tension had faded. You did as well, walking to your cousin's van and hopping into the passenger side.

----

You wiped chicken grease off your lips, setting your napkin down beside your plate, answering your father's question about your last math test. "Yeah, dad, I passed the test." you smirked, eyes wandering to Eddie beside you. "Unlike someone we know."

Your cousin slammed his fists against the table. "Shut the hell up, (Y/N)!" He turned to his uncle, desperately. "Wayne are you just gonna let this little shit talk to me like this?"

The older man let out a tired sigh, simply wanting a peaceful dinner with his kids. "Stop it, both of you." he commanded lowly. "You two can't get along for ten minutes, can you?"

Eddie muttered under his breath, crossing his arms and kicking away from the table. "Can't see how I can get along with someone I can't trust."

"And what is that supposed to mean." Wayne cocked a disrespected brow.

"I just mean that your darling little princess is fucking my friend behind both of our backs and lying about it!" the flunkie snarled at his own outburst, satisfied that you were at last, getting in trouble with your dad.

"(Y/N) Munson..." he muttered quietly. "Are you sneaking around with this boy? In my house?"

You could feel tears well in your eyes, your heart struck with betrayal. "No!" you lied. "Even if I was, why does it matter? Ed brings home three different girls a fucking week!"

"(Y/N), Ed is older than you," Wayne tried to reason. "He's a man, and men have certain needs-"

"And I don't?! And if he's such a fucking man, why can't he either graduate, or just fucking drop out and get a job?" you argued, all of your now standing, and the tension thick as butter.

"Hey, you little bitch, don't fucking talk shit about me like I'm not fucking here!" Eddie defended himself.

"Yes, I know you're here, Ed!" you screamed in his face, ignoring your father trying to pull you apart. "I'm always fucking aware of you being there, because your constantly hovering over me and ruining my life! I couldn't have a boyfriend even if I wanted to because you'd chase him away! You're friends are the only ones I have because everyone at school is fucking scared of you and don't want anything to do with me! Oh, but I forgot, I'm the bitch for stealing your friends, right?!"

There was a beat of silence after your rant, the only sound being your heavy breathing. Tears had long since began streaming down your face and you felt all your pent up aggression coming to a head as you stormed off to your bed room, slamming the door behind you. "I fucking hate this family!"

You flung yourself onto your bed, weeping as it creaked beneath your weight. In truth, you wanted very badly to confess your relationship with Gareth. Eddie trusted him enough, and you're dad would love him if given the chance, and he was so sweet to you. It deeply pained you to have to keep him a secret. You sometimes dreamed of having him over for dinner, or your father taking pictures of you both the night of prom, but those all required your family to be aware of the love you shared.

Suddenly, your pity party was interrupted by a very soft tapping on your window. You lazily got up, parting the curtains to reveal a mop of chestnut curls and a warm smile. You opened the window, wet eyes widened. “Gareth, what the hell are you doing here?”

“I had to see you.” he answered, his hands perched on the window sill.

“Are you crazy?” you sneered, worried to be by your still angry family.

“Crazy for you.” he snickered, climbing into your bed room.

“No, no, no! You can’t be here, it’s too risky!” you exclaimed, trying to hold him back, with little luck.

“Babe, relax, I’ll be quiet.” he grins, plopping down on your bed, cringing at the racket the springs made beneath him. “Starting now.” Your boyfriend watched you pace back and forth as you stressed, fingers tangled in your hair. As quietly as he could, he stood, stopping your in you tracks, but you failed to look at him. “Hey, are you okay?” Your gaze finally met his and he was enlightened to your bloodshot and glossy eyes, lashes stuck together and cheeks stained with tears. “Holy shit, have you been crying?”

“I got into a fight with Eddie...” you confessed, collapsing against his chest.

“About me?” he asked knowingly, his heart overtaken by guilt. You hesitantly shook your head, responding without looking back up at him.

“Us. Me, mostly. He told my dad that I was ‘fucking you behind his back’ and he believed him.”

“But...” he began, struggling to find a wording that wouldn’t upset you further. “You are?”

“No,” you whispered sadly. “I’m not. The sex isn’t what I’m scared of them finding out about.”

“What is it than?” Gareth muttered, his hands rubbing soothing stripes along your spine.

You finally brought your stare back upwards, and he met you halfway, now both gazing lovingly, if not a tad concerned, into one another’s eyes. “I’m in love with you, Gareth.” You had said it with such certainty that it almost scared him. Throughout the few weeks you’d been together, you’d both always avoided the ‘L’ word, nervous to commit to the relationship too much, only for the initial puppy love to dissolve and leave nothing left.

Gareth could feel static crawl along his skin and all the blood in his body seemed to congregate behind his face. “W-we agreed not to say that yet.” he mumbled, instantly regretting his reply when he noticed the fat tears bubbling up in your eyes again.

“Y-yeah, s-sorry. Just forget I said-” you brushed it off, trying to break away from him.

“But!” he corrected, pulling you back to him. “I-I love you too...” he stuttered, gaze averted. “I-In love, I mean. I-I don’t really know the difference.”

“You really mean that?” you whispered, eyes watering again, but this time from unbridled joy.

“I do. At least I think I do. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before.” he rambled timidly, scratching the back of his neck.

----

You sighed against Gareth’s lips as he softly shoved you against the wall, cursing under his breath when his actions caused a picture to fall down and clatter against the floor. You hushed him, giggling as he claimed your lips again, strong hands cradling your delicate face as if it’d break if he let go. “Fuck, I’m so lucky to have you.” he breathed against your throat as he laid kisses across it. “So pretty, so loving.”

You bit your lip to stifle a moan as he made quick work of finding your most sensitive spots, having mapped you out perfectly in the handful of times you’d been intimate. “Gareth...” you whispered, tangling your dainty fingers into his curls, fertilizing a growth in his jeans with the tugging of his locks.

“Love it when you pull my hair.” he groaned quietly. “Better stop unless you want me to really get rough.” You gave him a submissive smile, yanking harshly at the back of his scalp, earning a shuddering whine from him. He playfully glared at you, gripping you by the hips and hoisting you up. “Oh, you’re gonna get it now!”

----

Beyond the safety of your room, Eddie and Wayne still sat at the table, having still not moved from your outburst earlier. “Son,” the older man began. “I know you haven’t had the easiest life, especially with everything that’s happened this year.” His voice trailed off as his gaze wandered over to his nephew, who stared absently at the ruminants of his cousin’s plate. “But neither has (Y/N). That little girl looks up to you, ya know.”

“I know, I know,” Eddie rolled his eyes, sighing heavily. “And I’m trying to protect her-”

“That ain’t what I said.” his uncle interrupted, placing a hand on his arm. “She don’t need your protection all the time, though. Sometimes, she just needs you to support her, be nice to her.” he lectured quietly. “I had to learn that the hard way.”

“It’s just so hard when she keeps shit from me, ya know?” Eddie argued, running his frustrated fingers though his long chocolate curls. Wayne nodded, standing up and walking to the fridge to rummage though it.

He found a pair of beers, and set one down in front of Eddie, who immediately cracked it open. “Maybe she’s worried to disappoint you?”

You cousin rolled his eyes, scoffing. “Doubt that, she’s never been afraid to get on my last nerve.”

Wayne finally sighed, glugging a good portion of his beer before responding. “I won’t force you to apologize, but I think she’d appreciate it.” With that, he stood, a few of his joints cracking with age as he did. “I’m headed to bed, if you need me, holler.” As the old man shut his bedroom door behind him, Eddie was left alone under the soft yellow glow of the over head light, staring at your left overs. He sighed, standing up to clear the table.

He pondered what his uncle had said, coming to the decision that it was a good idea to apologize. He recalled fond memories of your shared childhood as he scraped leftovers into plastic bowls to save for tomorrow. He chuckled to himself at a particular instance that had occurred when he was eight and you were five.

----

Tears streamed down Eddie’s cheeks as he peeled the left leg of his jeans, blood of a skinned knee sticking the denim to his opened wound. He cried out for an adult, covered in mud and pitiful, having slipped in a creek near your home. Instead, you came running to his side from over the hill, soft, thin hair and ruffled dress flopping about as you did. You sat beside him, taking a pair of scissors to put his pants into shorts, before pouring water from a bottle to wash away the dirt from the muscle. He watched as you dirtied your dress, using it to dry his injury, before wrapping it in a cool, clean roll of gauze.

After playing doctor, you helped your cousin hobble back up the hill into your house. Once inside, you turned on the tv and asked him to put your favorite movie into the VHS, as you didn’t know how. While he was distracted, you ran to the kitchen and retrieved a bag of pecan sandies, before pouring them out onto a plate, complete with a glass of milk to share. When you returned, the pair of you sat and watched the entirety of the tape, consuming the snack whole.

----

From that moment on, the pair of you had always bonded over pecan sandies and milk. It was your tradition. You did it when your mother left, and when Eddie lost his parents, and when you got stood up at your middle school dance, and the first (and second) time that he flunked graduation. Most recently, you shared a plate when Eddie came home from the hospital after the ‘Earthquake’, and he was repeatedly awoken by nightmares of Chrissy dying in your living room. He thought of all the times you’d been his backbone, even being his kid sister cousin as his eyes wandered to a bag of cookies in the open cabinet. You’d be eating pecan sandies over this argument, he decided. Maybe if he offered you this kindness, you’d open up to him with the truth about your feelings for Gareth?

Speaking of Gareth-

----

“Oh, fuck, Gareth,” you breathed, your head falling against the wall with a quiet thud as your secret boyfriend fucked into you, sandwiching you between himself and the wall opposite of your bedroom door. “I-I love you.”

“Love you too, princess.” he replied, breathlessly and muffled, red flannel between his teeth in order to keep him quiet. “So fucking pretty, gonna make me cum.”

Eddie smiled, filling with hope. Cookies, and large glass of milk in hand, he made his way to your bedroom door, knocking on hit loudly, calling out. “Hey, uh, (Y/N)...Can we talk?”

You and your boyfriend parted like oil and water, desperately trying to make yourselves decent as your cousin knocked again. “Shit, shit, shit!” Gareth whispered, and you shared his sentiment.

“C’mon, (Y/N), I know your not asleep.” your kin begged, twisting the nob slowly and pushing your door open. You , as well as the intruder in your room both held your breath, several feet apart, hair tousled, faces red and sweaty, and clothes disheveled. To top it off, your room reeked of sex. “I brought you some...cookies.” The sound of ceramic shattering against the ground rang out through the trailer, deafeningly loud as your cousin stood in your now open doorway.

“You’ve got to be shitting me.”

#stranger things #gareth emerson #gareth stranger things #gareth emerson smut #gareth emerson x reader #gareth emerson x y/n #gareth emerson x you #gareth emerson fic #stranger things smut #eddie munson #munson!reader #gareth #gareth simps #gareth emerson x munson!reader #gareth emerson fluff

2K notes · View notes

psshaw · 2 years ago

Text

Got some interesting anons while I was hiking on vaycay. I've been thinking about how to answer these for awhile.

Content warn for detransitioner coping. Also me rambling at varying levels of tact. Obvs I'd appreciate any trans or detrans people who have something to correct or add to help this person.

Hi. So. 2 things you’re doing here that I think both cis and trans people mess up at all the time, especially when they're stressed.

One: Listening to other people more than yourself. Two: Looking for other things to blame in a way that stops you from learning from your own choices.

I think I understand some of what you experienced, but the conclusions you’re drawing feel distorted and self-serving. It feels like you jumped from one prescriptive view (girls have to be boys in order to like certain things or talk to certain people) to another prescriptive view (masculinity is something you have to earn and perform in a certain way).

Anyone who critiques what you do or how you present yourself for not fitting a certain term has more in common with a 50s martini dad than they do with a walk-the-walk humanitarian. Personally, I am not interested in defining masculinity (or femininity, which I notice you didn’t claim to also have prereqs for)— I know some soft-ass bitch men who are still men. Standards for gender are arbitrary location- and time-specific rules. They’re also weapons we use to fuck with each other. Imo calling someone un-[gender] is kinda like telling a western teen with an ED that they’re not skinny enough: it's not helping anyone's health or peace of mind. The only point is to feel superior somehow.

I don’t see a point in setting hurdles for gender expression when I can instead worry about demanding unisex reasonable and rational interpersonal behavior.

(I also just find gender extremely boring. I was not raised to care much about who's doing what as what. Gender should matter in sociology, pronouns, fucking, and... that's probably it. Focusing on whether someone is performing something correctly or whether you should buy an enamel pin that says "spacegender" on it are both addictive navel-gazing activities that could be replaced with more demonstrative self-actualizing like making art, joining a hobby/activism community, or reading something you normally wouldn't.)

I don’t think I need to tell you that taking hormones in order to make friends is a very strange thing to do, no matter how young or lonely you are. I think you should check in with yourself ASAP to figure out why you sought out voluntary medical assistance to impress other people. (People who you assumed would only talk to you if you were trans…? So, possibly bad people.) This would never have occurred to me. (I am scared of needles.) This sounds like a tendency that will kick your ass more than just this once.

The nice thing about people is that you can walk away from one and find a better fit. If you're a weird chick, I hope you take pride in being a weird chick. I hope you make yourself hard to replace or replicate. I hope you learn to love unnerving or impressing people as you flip through them looking for the ones who "get" your wavelength. I would personally rather have no friends than to try to please someone who doesn't like who I actually am. That sounds exhausting.

If someone actually told you you can't use "she" pronouns while taking T, that person's a dorky little snot. "Uhhh, the Gender Bible says this is a violation of the Gender Commandments... I'm telling Gender God"— big deal. Gender Spankings and Gender Hell only exist if you believe in them. Fuck the system.

But yeah— you tried something, it was a mistake, and now you have to navigate life with it, like an impulse tattoo or juvenile leg-lengthening surgery. You are not a “mutant”, you just slid around the human secondary sex characteristics scale. My condolences on the beard and stuff. I think the best you can do now is to find a way to embrace it and let it make you an extra quirky gal. You have a dark past now! That means experience! You can use this flub to make yourself into a cooler, smarter person that future kids can admire and learn from, not someone obnoxiously bitter who they won’t even wanna talk to.

The way you describe your experiences/projections, I assume you were born after 9/11. The millennial trans people I talk to don’t talk about gender the way you’re describing. They grew up in the “no homo” and “I’m not like other girls�� era, and I think it made most of them pretty "none of my business" about how people present overall. They just wanna be able to go out and be respected and loved.

I’ve noticed that Zoomers have perfected identity-based consumerism and putting yourselves(?) in boxes. I have traced a vague progression: GNC/queer people existing forever while being maligned -> “no homo” shit -> Tumblr wave feminism -> greater LGBT acceptance leading to freer expression (but still mainly via buying clothes and makeup) -> more people realizing you can fuck with gender and see if it solves your problems -> genderfuckery becoming a half-joking recommendation (I've experienced this directly) -> half-joking rehashes of gender essentialism without realizing it -> The Present, where I’m watching the early 20-somethings I know fret every few months about what gender/sexuality/mental health labels they should use, as if there’s going to be a quiz at the gates of Heaven.

Obviously I don’t get that last half. Part of that is because I’m cishet, and I’ve checked in with myself enough to know that there’s no other label that will solve any of my problems. I know that every time I acknowledge an autism semi-diagnosis, it makes me content with my flaws instead of trying to fix them. I would much rather be on thin ice and have to be alert to how my actions affect others than to be implicitly accepted because I called myself something. Again, what in you craves that kind of effortless belonging, even at the cost of your sincerest wants? Do you crave unconditional love, or would you prefer deep understanding? What can you feed to that need instead?

I'm friends with trans people because we share the same hobbies and worldviews. My friends do not seem to care that I'm cis as long as I'm respectful. I like that I can fuck with gender stuff around them and they won't judge. If someone jokes that I'm wrong about my own identity, I do get kinda embarrassed for them, but I also choose to take it as a compliment that they see themselves in me. Nobody can control what I do. I love being a good example and reminding people of all groups not to assume!

I also don't list identity stuff in my bios, so everyone has to give me a chance and guess based on how I act. Then... they find out they like me. >:)

Anyway. I hope you feel better! I hope you make some friends who aren't freaky-obsessed with gender, "critical" or not. I wouldn't mind hearing more from you, but also: I will not debate the validity of transness with you, because I think there are way more important things people do that we need to whine about. Also it puts me in a weird position cos I don't like to yell at anons.

84 notes · View notes

nanami-says · 4 years ago

Text

Part IV (3/5): Chapters 40~44

Chapter 40

[Mai to Miwa]

“Maki? She’s worthless”

She actually calls her “just a small fry” here. Which imo is more dismissive than just outright derogatory like in the official release.

“An iai technique huh? That’s strange. I have the advantage in terms of reach. She’s probably looking to disarm my cursed tool and create an opening.”

⇒”An iai [technique], huh? On top of that there seems to be some trick to it. With our difference in reach… rather than myself, she’s probably looking(...)”

Not mistranslated per se other than the “there seems to be a trick to it” line, which imo shouldn’t have been simplified to just “that’s strange”. But the original showed Maki’s thought process better.

“She broke it with her leg? Why is she negating her reach advantage.”

⇒ ”She broke it?? With her thigh?? You’re getting rid of your reach advantage here??”

Again, the meaning was all there but some of the characterisation was lost. Miwa sounded so frantic and full of disbelief here, haha.

[After Mei states that Maki should get promoted at least 2 ranks ASAP]

“I agree but her family seems to be getting in the way”

⇒ “I think so too, but you know, the Zen’ins keep getting in the way. It stinks, right”

More casual speech overall in the original, also Gojou’s more colourful language got a cut again.

MM:“Heh… I don’t understand connections not based on money”

G:“And you’ll always be a cheapskate.”

I get why they went with “cheapskate” here, as the word Gojou originally uses would be accurately translated as “miser”, which’s the kind of word most people would have to check in the dictionary. (I know I had to.) Nevertheless it’s interesting to me how Gojou basically alternates between super casual speech and much less common terms like this one. He seems to like wordplays in general?

“Anyway, I can’t help but notice the video feed around Yuji seems to be a little inconsistent”

⇒ “Leaving that aside, the video around Yuuji keeps on cutting off for a while now, no?”

Again, meaning is there, the characterisation - sort of I suppose? But he was being more casual/straight to the point in the original.

[In reply to Gojou’s question whose side she’s on]

“Whose side? I’m on the side with money, of course. There’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange it for money.”

“Which side? I’m an ally of money, of course. Because there’s no value in things that cannot be exchanged for money. For you see, it cannot be exchanged for money."

I know it sounds like she’s repeating herself but that’s because she actually is. She’s literally saying that there’s no value in something that can’t be turned into money PRECISELY BECAUSE it can’t be turned into money lol. Also, imo “on the side with money” kind of muddled the nuance a bit. Other possible translations for "exchange" include "replace", ”turn into”.

Gojou in reply to above.

“I wonder how much!”

Actually closer to, “[I wonder] how much did you pile up”. The actual phrase is just “just how much did (...) pile up/stock”, so you have to supply the subject by yourself.

“I’m not sure what you guys have planned but Yuji’s different now”

⇒ “I don’t know what you’re scheming but Yuuji won’t be killed so easily anymore”

Again, the basic meaning is there but a lot of subtler nuance got lost.

(jp)

[Explanation on how the school can tell which side exorcised which curses during the competition]

“Talismans are placed on curses released in the area. When a curse is exorcised, the corresponding talisman also disappears. Using cursed energy, we’ve made arrangements for the following -- exorcisms made by the Tokyo school will be indicated with a red flame, while Kyoto’s will be blue. Maki is also participating, so we’ve made sure her exorcisms are marked red as well.”

When I read this for the first time in English, I found this explanation rather unclear. No wonder I did, as it omits vital details such as the original mentioning "recording cursed energy in advance" which imo seems to be pointing to them registering samples of all students' energy.

And then the Maki line adds that since Maki is there too, exorcisms performed by UNRECORDED forces will be marked red as well. And that's why later on the teachers weren't able to immediately discern whether the sudden destruction of curses was done by an outsider or not.

“All those one-on-ones. Did they forget the main objective?”

⇒“(...) Everyone’s waaay too disinterested in the game.”

“Main objective” sounds kinda formal and imo that wasn’t the nuance for the line.

[Nobara to Nishimiya]

“Got down here, you stupid witch!!”

Actually “you shitty witch”. Nanami would be proud ;;

“How dare you hit my sacred face.”

I like their take on this but it’s hilarious in the original because the word she uses literally means “your countenance”, as in you’d normally use it to respectfully refer to someone else’s face, definitely not about your own. And then she adds a “go-” prefix, which further ups the level of reverence haha.

“A scar on the face can be a good thing for guys. But not for girls.”

Not really a mistranslation, but I love the original wording with its juxtaposition of a scar on the face being likened to an "order" for a man and a "blemish"/"defect" for a woman. It adds so much more depth to the line.

[Nishimiya after she points out how unfair the jujutsu world is towards women compared to men]

“And Mai has to deal with even more discrimination than that”

Actually something closer to ”irrationality”, “unreasonableness”, “unfairness”, “derision”. Discrimination was the translators’ interpretation of that, I suppose.

Chapter 41

[About Inumaki’s technique]

“Cursed speech is words with spirit. Essentially, it’s infusing sound with cursed energy”

...They translated it the other way around (“the spirit of words”) in ch. 33… Needless to say, this is still the same technique and still the very same term being used. I’d be leaning towards the more commonly used translation of “the spirit of language”.

“However if you’re not sure it’s coming… you’ll be in a constant state of unease. Protecting your head is difficult as it is”

⇒ “On the other hand, if you don’t know if it’s coming or not, you’re constantly distracted. Even though protecting the inside of my head is already something I’m not used to doing”

Not really mistranslated but I wanted to propose an alternate translation, especially for the second part.

“Inheriting the Zen’in family cursed technique is reserved for the privileged. Every other jujutsu sorcerer starts at a level much further below. And even within their family, some women aren’t treated equally.”

⇒ “Unless you inherit the Zen'in family's cursed technique, you start out as a sorcerer from a losing position. And for women, some of them are not even allowed to stand on that starting line"

Just an overall different meaning for the whole fragment. After all, it’s not like you can control who will inherit what technique, even if you’re from one of the three big families. Also it was about women being discriminated on a more fundamental level.

“Can someone who thinks that curse Yuji is an ally really understand?”

⇒ “How about you try thinking hard with that head of yours that can even mistake [that] curse for a comrade?”

Written with “Itadori-kun”, read as “[the] curse” - there’s no reason for Nishimiya to call him “Yuji”. Also she actually says 仲間/nakama here, which, as I stated before, I personally prefer to translate as “comrade” in the context of jjk. The official release seems to alternate between “ally” and “friend”, which are rather distant terms imo. I’m not sure either what’s their basis for when they go with “ally” because they also used it when Gojou was talking about raising a future generation of strong and bright comrades in ch. 11 (refer to part II).

[Nobara in response to above]

“Does that mean we have to forgive the unfortunate no matter the circumstances? And if someone is blessed with a fortunate life, do they deserve to be ridiculed?”

⇒ ”So if someone’s unfortunate, they’re free to do whatever they want? Then what? If in turn a person is [more] fortunate, you’re not gonna be satisfied unless you can talk behind their back?”

In the original Nobara speaks in shorter sentences and uses rather simple language, which imo really conveys how angry she is about Nishimiya’s words. It wasn’t really a philosophical conversation.

“Have any of you ever stopped to consider the person behind the curse you’ve condemned?”

⇒ “And have you people even thought what kind of a person the idiot that you’re trying to curse [from now] is?”

Not “condemn as a curse” but “that you people are cursing”! Huge distinction imo.

“What do I care about whether someone’s perfect or if something’s fair? Is your life just a job?”

⇒ “Are you obliged to stand up to [things like] ‘perfection’ or ‘unfairness’? (...)”

Lit. “where’s the obligation to live up to”. Emphasis mine! Nobara wasn’t saying she doesn’t care whether someone is perfect or not, imo the nuance was more that there’s no need to force yourself to try and meet people’s expectations/standards.

“Boys versus girls? Give me a break! Just shut the hell up! I love dressing up and being beautiful! I love being strong!”

⇒ “Boys this, girls that? I don’t give a damn! Just do it all by yourselves if you wish! I love myself who dresses up beautifully! I love myself who [always] strives to be strong!”

I know fandom loves the “I love being beautiful! I love being strong” line - it definitely is short and impactful! But I actually really like the nuance that “strive to be/remain strong” has because it implies Nobara’s constantly putting in effort to improve herself and get stronger. Also the nuance of “I love myself who’s all those things [and more]” (emphasis mine) rather than simply “I love being those things”/“I love the act of”, even though to an English speaker the former may sound a bit awkward.

[Mai saying she can’t contact Mechamaru after his fight]

“It’s not a good sign if he was forced to use his finishing move and this is the end result.”

⇒ “If it’s like that [that we can’t contact him] despite him being forced into a corner to the point of having to use his finishing move, then he’s probably lost”

This was Mai speculating Mechamaru has most likely lost if they can’t contact him despite him having used his special move.

“I need you”

⇒ “If you’re not here, we’re in trouble”

Rather than Mai needing her personally, this was her reiterating Nishimiya’s importance to the team. (Same phrasing as in ch. 35.)

Chapter 42

[About Maki and her family]

Y:“But why wouldn’t they want someone so strong?”

N:“They don’t wanna accept someone they’ve already rejected. They’re stupid that way”

⇒Y: “Wouldn’t a jujutsu family welcome a strong sorcerer with open arms?”

N:“(...) Because they’re stupid/idiots.”

Slightly more informative for Yuuji’s line in the original imo. Let’s not forget that Yuuji’s still super new to the jujutsu world, so he’s not really familiar with its inner workings. Imo this line had such a nuance.

“So we have to win this event. You better put your life on the line!”

Not incorrect as much as it's just so much funnier in the original because she tells him to put enough effort to die one more time lol (emphasis mine).

[Maki to Tokyo team, telling them to focus on the competition rather trying to make her look good]

“Don't’ worry about me”

⇒ “Don’t think about unnecessary stuff”

Imo this showed Maki’s personality better.

[Mai to Maki, in her head]

“You thought you could get the jump on me? While keeping your distance as well?”

⇒ “So what if you’re in my blind spot. Aren’t you dumb to put distance between us”

This was more about it being advantageous for Mai, a gun being her weapon, if Maki gets farther away from her.

“I knew it! Maki has something I don’t”

⇒ “I knew it… Maki has a talent I don’t have”

How a single exclamation mark can completely change the meaning of a whole line. Yes, it is “I knew it” but as in “I understood it”, “I felt it”. It’s not some revelation about the fight itself, it’s the beginning to Mai’s retrospection about herself and Maki and their approaches to life that follows after. Also, it literally says “talent” there, not to mention the line gets repeated word for word at the end of the same chapter for emphasis before the conclusion is given to Mai’s musings. (Gege seems to like this particular trick a lot, huh?)

”Did you hear about the daughter of the Ougi?"

Hmm, I tried googling the phrase with “Ougi” in it just to check if it can have some hidden meaning but found out even Japanese fans weren’t sure about the exact meaning of the word. Probably a name, either of a person or of a place.

[Mai thinking about Maki]

“You were always so carefree. I hated it. You just kept moving fearlessly forward into the future”

⇒ “I hated how you were always boldly pushing your way towards the future as if you had no worries/unease”

Imo a slightly different nuance for this line (which’s just a single sentence). “I hated how” could also be “I hated you for” and other translations for “pushing your way to” include “plunging forward”, “pushing on”.

(jp)

[About Mai’s cursed technique]

“Unlike creating an object inside a domain, objects created with cursed technique: construction will not disappear after the spell is finished. However, an immense amount of cursed energy is used, which has a harsh effect on the body”

⇒ “Unlike materialisation of an innate domain within the barrier that occurs in ‘domain expansion’, objects once created with Construction Technique will not disappear even after the technique has finished. That’s why(...)”

Ever wondered why domain and domain expansion related stuff is impossible to understand? Well, here’s why. They only left “inside a domain” out of the whole explanation... “Materialisation” was actually “realisation” but I thought the former would be easier to understand. Also it literally says only “realisation of an innate domain” but imo it could be also interpreted as “inner domain and things within in”.

(jp)

“Maki has something I don’t. Kinda like Mechamaru’s Heavenly Restriction but the opposite. You were supposed to be born with a cursed technique but you traded that in for superhuman physical abilities. This skill was shunned by the Zen’in family. And it’s an ability I don’t have.”

⇒ “Maki has a talent I don’t have. (...) A talent which didn’t get appreciated in the Zen’in family and which I didn’t possess”

Like I pointed out earlier, this is the conclusion to Mai’s retrospection about herself and Maki and some of its effect was, in the original, achieved by repeating the line about Maki’s talent that Mai didn’t have, and by further expanding on it here.

Chapter 43

[About Kamo’s attack]

“A trace of blood on the arrow fletching. Like I thought, Kamo’s technique defies physics”

⇒ "The physics defying trajectory [of the arrow] was because of Kamo-san's cursed technique after all"

More informative in the original, I’d say. The arrows themselves are (and look) normal, hence double the wham i suppose?

[Megumi about Kamo’s Blood Manipulation Technique]

“The ability to control whatever touches his blood”

⇒ "The ability to control his own blood and whatever is stained with it"

Why would they skip the "the blood itself" bit…

[Kamo about Megumi’s Ten Shadows Technique”

“A cursed technique passed down in the Zen’in family”

Just to be clear, it’s actually specified here that it’s “one of the techniques”.

[Kamo about his technique]

“I can manipulate blood beyond its form or motion”

Once again sounds a bit like a more general explanation. “To manipulate blood means (...)”.

[After Megumi calls him out on doping]

“Very good. Although I don’t appreciate the negative connotation”

⇒ “But I’d prefer if you stopped with the vulgar phrasing”

Simpler, more direct language here.

[After Maki’s taken off with Miwa’s sword in tow]

“Mai’s sister is gone. Well, that makes sense. I’m useless without my sword”

⇒ “Mai’s older sister has gone somewhere. Well, it was a correct call as I can’t fight without my sword”

The phrase used here that got translated as “I’m useless” while can indeed mean something similar has the nuance of “to not be useful [in battle]” . So although it’s not incorrect per se, I’m not sure if I’d go with “useless” myself, especially because it comes with tandem with “correct call”/”good decision” wording. She DOES literally say she’s useless later on though.

“We’re a little disorganized after all”

Not incorrect per se but imo the original line might’ve had the nuance of “we’re not monolithic [as an organisation]”.

“Use this scent and whistle to control it. If you can, make it kill Itadori”

⇒ “This scent and whistle were used to train him [this cursed spirit]. If a chance arises, use it well and kill Itadori”

I’m not sure if this can be interpreted as it being JUST the curse itself that’ll do all the work.

Chapter 44

“- Why does everyone torment mother?

- Because she’s a broken mistress”

Closer to “dissolute”, I think. Also the word used for “mistress” can also mean “concubine” and “kept woman” but it’s apparently also an old expression for “close female servant”. It’s hard to say which it could have been without more context but it’d actually make a lot of sense if it was the last one, especially given the fact how Kamo is one of the olden jujutsu families, and very traditional at that.

“Then why do you favour me? Why did you deceive me into becoming a heir”

⇒ “(...)Then why did you take me in and lie about me being a heir”

I may be wrong but it doesn’t sound like they deceived Kamo himself but rather, everyone else. The word used also means “falsify”. “Favour” here is the same word as for “patronage”, btw.

“Then as the heir to the head of the Kamo family(...)”

It’s just “the next head” here, possibly an allusion to his plans for /after/ he becomes the clan head.

[After Kamo praises his growth as a sorcerer]

“Why are you acting all familiar with me?’

⇒ “What’s with this sense of comradeship you keep on showing?”

Not incorrect per se but I found the phrase he used interesting. Also means “fellowship”.

“I intend to kill Yuji Itadori”

“By principal Gakuganji’s order?”

“No, this is my decision.”

⇒ (...) “No, this is my personal/individual judgement.”

Emphasis Gege’s. The word does mean “decision” as well but imo “judgement” (as in “call”) fits better here.

“As a member of the Kamo and the big three families, I believe it is the right decision. You should also understand it. (I must play the part of the heir to the Kamo family)”

⇒ “(...) I consider it a correct call. It’s something you should be able to understand as well. (I must conduct myself as is appropriate for the heir of the Kamo family)

Lit. “think it’s(...)” for the first bit. Imo “you should also understand” could imply that Kamo’s trying to convince Megumi here but in the original it’s more him appealing to the common understanding he feels must already exist between them because of their similar positions within their respective families. Also, wording his inner thoughts as “must play the part” was imo giving off a wrong impression.

Cont. from above

“You and I are the same”

Not wrong but the original has the connotation of “the same kind”.

“He’s saying some scary stuff”

Skipped “all of sudden" here.

(jp)

“(I’ve never thought of myself as doing the right thing.) Actually, I’m sorry. I don’t care if I’m right or wrong. I only believe in my conscience. I will follow my conscience and save people. If you disagree with that then, let’s agree to curse each other.”

⇒ ”(...) No, I’m sorry, that is incorrect. It’s just that I believe/have faith in my own conscience. I will help/save people the way my conscience tells me. So if you’ve denied that, then there’s nothing left but to curse each other.”

Again, like in ch. 9 (refer to part I), the nuance here was actually that Megumi will save people BASED on his conscience. Here it’s literally “I will save people according to my conscience” (emphasis mine), which imo heavily implies that he will choose which people to save, as had already been indicated in ch. 9 as well. This is a huge distinction from the way he’s been (mis)portrayed in the official release as just wanting to save people because that’s what his conscience says or because he thinks that’s the right thing to do. (That’s Yuuji). Also, the way they phrased it as basically “let’s agree to disagree” was imo way too mild. And it wasn’t just “if you disagree” but “if you contradict/negate/renounce”.

“A shikigami! It was still around?!”

Not sure but given the context it might’ve meant “so he still had some left” instead.

Cont. on next page

“He used a wounded shikigami as a decoy!”

⇒ “He used a shikigami at the verge of being called off as a decoy!”

“This uses too much cursed energy, so I can only summon it once”

⇒ “This eats a lot of cursed energy so I can only summon it solo”

Lit. “a shikigami before the release/dissolution” for the first one. Coupled with Megumi’s reply, which was “as a stand alone” instead of “only once”, imo the whole thing meant that Megumi called the frog off intentionally.

[Megumi about the elephant shikigami]

“It only recently surrendered to me.”

⇒ “I’ve only exorcised it very recently”

Seems like they confused “to exorcise” (調伏) for “to surrender” (降伏)...The word he uses here is the former, it also means “to unwish”!

Btw, “surrender” is actually used later in the manga when Getou’s curse manipulation is discussed in the Gojou’s Past arc (ch. 73).. So to me there definitely seems to be a distinction between those two terms and which techniques they apply to.

[to part iv (4/5)]

#jujutsu kaisen #jjktranslation #jjk #jjk translation #jujutsukaisen

39 notes · View notes

lesbianlovelanguage · 4 years ago

Note

YOUTUBER AU I’m such a fucking sucker for those. It can be anything you want really. Maybe they are friends doing a challenge or something and they end up kissing (or more ;)) or they could meet each other at like a creator even and take a pic together and everyone starts to ship them... :)

HI! Anon I am so sorry, life has been *general handwaving* a MESS. But, I’ve finally gotten most of my shit together and look! A fic! Finally!!! I hope you enjoy two ridiculous boys being ridiculous.

---

“You guys asked for it, and here it is. The explanation to Bendy and the Ink Machine! Now, I’ve watched a ton of playthroughs of this, especially The RatKing’s, as well as played through it myself, and I think I’ve got it.”

Such a simple statement, it made it through both of the editors as well as Steve and Dustin themselves without raising any red flags. But as with everything, once it had been released on the internet it became fuel for fans to break apart and over analyze.

The comments started pouring in, the standard mix of support and people trying to break apart his theory. But one comment in particular would stand out and begin something so much bigger than itself.

Twenty minutes after Steve had pressed upload, someone with the username Random Hoe posted a comment saying Awe! A collab between you and Billy would be totes amazing!! While an innocent comment in itself, it began to pick up steam as people ranted and demanded for the two popular youtubers to interact more. It turned from video ideas to outright shipping within two hours, and only five hours after the video had been up, people began tagging Steve on Twitter with everything from edited screen grabs to fanart and video edits, all about Steve and Billy’s secret yet undying love for each other.

Steve had almost quit Youtube as the fanbase for what had been dubbed “Stilly” steadily grew and became all the more ravenous. There were less and less comments and reactions to his theories, whether movie, video game, or even book related, and more and more comments about how he needed to do a collab with Billy ASAP, and how he’s queerbaiting, and how it’s okay to come out, it was 20Gayteen after all. He had tried to do damage control, but it only made things worse.

And then someone showed Billy, and Steve not only wanted to quit Youtube, but also crawl under a rock.

Billy’s only reaction to someone sending him a picture of Steve and Billy during a live stream was “Nice art, like the hair,” but Steve could have sworn his mouth twitched down in a grimace before Billy recovered his composure.

But Dustin had convinced Steve to keep going, and with two months of no recognition or new content, the frenzy of Stilly shipping died down. It never disappeared, but no one sent anymore art to Billy and stopped tagging Steve in all of their posts. That had been in February.

Vidcon was in June, and Stilly was the least of Steve’s worries. He’d been asked to host a panel on the new game show he and Dustin had begun hosting on Youtube TV about pop culture trivia, and then host a live episode with various Youtube guests as competitors. It promised to be relatively simple, a simple explanation of the origin and behind-the-scenes and a simple Q&A session followed by what he spent every Thursday doing for the past two months. And it was, him and Dustin breezing through the panel bouncing off of each other and the first round of Did You Know? You Don’t Say? flying by as the famed beauty guru aced almost every question. But once the second guest stepped on stage, Steve knew it was all going to go to shit.

Because Billy Hargrove, The Rat King himself, swaggered out on the stage in flip flops and an Everlast crop top and flopped into the contestant’s chair with a smirk. Steve froze, mouth suddenly drier than a desert.

Luckily, Dustin didn’t even stutter. “Ah! The next victim. Should we go easy on him?” He waggled his eyebrows as he asked the audience. The audience shouting brought Steve out of his daze, and with a shake of his head, he turned and spread his arms out wide.

“Well then, let’s begin. So, Billy, Do you know what the rarest MnM color is?”

The cocky smirk melted off of Billy’s face, replaced by one of thoughtful determination. He’s silent for only a moment before he looks up and says, “Brown, like your eyes, Pretty Boy.” Steve feels his pale skin flush with heat, but he coughs and tries to play it off.

“Quite the charmer there, Rat King. Luckily, your lines are actually true. One point! Let’s see it!” He calls out and then looks behind him to the television screen currently displaying the scoreboard. A large blocky 1 appears and the audience cheers.

“Alrighty then,” Dustin says after the crowd dies down. “Next question. Billy, Do you know the original name of Istanbul?” Billy chuckles, and shakes his head.

“Easy. Constantinople.”

Dustin fake pouts and looks over to Billy. “None of that Rat King charm for me?” The audience laughs, and Billy chuckles before throwing a wink at Dustin.

“Not quite old enough to ride this ride, bud.”

Dustin scoffs and shakes his head, making the curls bounce around wildly. “Whatever you say, old man. You did get it right by the way. Let me see another point!” Dustin mimics Steve and gestures towards the scoreboard which now shows a big, white 2.

“Your turn, Pretty Boy. Give me something hard.”

“Alright. Let’s see.” Steve pretends to look over his notes before seeing the perfect question. “So, Billy, Do you know which two American states don’t observe daylight savings time?” Billy stares blankly at Steve. This was the final question in their lineup, but he had asked for a hard question.

Luckily, Billy recovers quickly and clears his throat before giving another chuckle. “Damn, I know I said give me a hard one, but I wasn’t expecting that. I’m gonna go with Hawaii and Alaska?” Steve shakes his head and gives a small sigh.

Dustin gives a little cheer, and then runs over to a table off to the side of the stage where they have a cue card that the contestant has to read off of if they lose. It was Dustin’s idea, the You don’t say? part of the title. It’s his favorite part of the show, because they get to see their contestants say some ridiculous things.

“Well, unfortunately, that was incorrect,” Steve announces over the booing audience. “And, following the rules, you now have to read whatever is on this card.” Dustin hands Billy the cue card with a wicked grin.

Billy sighs and flips over the card. There’s a moment of silence as he reads over what the card says, and then he looks up at Steve and clears his throat.

“Would a Pretty Boy want to go out with me?” He says in a clear voice, gaze never leaving Steve’s.

Suddenly too many things for Steve to process happen at once. He feels the heat return to his cheeks and his mouth dry out again, the audience goes wild, and a buzzer sounds, signaling that they were out of time for Did You Know? You Don’t Say? Dustin comes through and pushes a frozen Steve off-stage, where Billy is waiting in the wings. With the audience’s weighty gaze gone, the feeling returns to Steve all at once.

“What the hell man? What was that out there?” He hissed at Billy. The man simply shrugs and gives another one of his trademark smirks.

“Just giving the people what they want, Princess. Try to keep up.” And then he turns around, and walks away. Simple as that. Nothing to it.

Steve wants to scream. Fortunately, he and Dustin have been friends for years, and he knows all of Steve’s tics by now. The stagehands shoo them from the wings, and he pulls Steve through one of the backdoors to outside the convention center. Somehow, he also procures a water bottle in the hustle, and hands it to Steve once they’re both sitting on the steps outside. Steve takes the water bottle gratefully and chugs half of it in one long gulp. He pulls it away and wipes at his face before sighing. He seems to deflate, like a balloon losing all of its helium at once, and Dustin puts an arm around him. It’s awkward because he’s shorter than Steve, but it’s still comforting nonetheless.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Dustin asks quietly.

“I- I’m so stupid. For just a second I thought it was real, but why would it be? What would someone like him see in someone like me?” Dustin lets out a huff before pulling away and turning towards Steve.

“Steve, buddy, pal o’ mine. You’re an idiot. If anything, he doesn’t deserve you. He’s a pompous ass for pulling a stunt like that. It’s bullshit.”

“He could have anyone. Between his paycheck and his pecs, he’s one of Youtube’s hottest content creators.”

“Yeah, sure. But for the sake of alliteration, he also lacks personality. The guy’s a huge dick! And he proved it today. He knew that you wouldn’t shut him down and bitch him out on stage, so he thought it would be funny to pull that shit.”

“Yeah, he is kind of just a publicity-seeking asshole, you’re right,” Steve admits, feeling a little better, and a lot angrier. “You know what, Dusty-Poo? I’m gonna find him, and give him a piece of my mind.” He stands up, itching for a fight and knowing who to go find for one.

“Tha-that’s not exactly what I meant but sure! Go knock him down a peg.” Dustin stands up as well and follows Steve back onto the main showfloor.

It takes about twenty minutes to find Billy amongst the crowd but Steve sees him, and locks in like a tiger stalking his prey. Or something cool like that. Thankfully, Steve doesn’t have to make a huge scene as he walks up to Billy and gets in his face.

“You. Me. Conference Room 3. Now,” Steve says, poking a finger in the middle of Billy’s chest to emphasize his point. Billy chuckles, but still follows along as they walk into the empty conference room. Once they clear the doors and Steve hears them swing shut behind them, he turns to Billy.

“Explain. What the fuck was the point of that little,” he wavs his hand around, “stunt you pulled during the game show?”

Billy raises an eyebrow. “Told you Pretty Boy. I gave the people what they wanted.

“So that’s it? It was a publicity stunt?”

“You tell me. You’re the one who started the whole thing,” Billy shoots back, still holding on to an air of nonchalance, but Steve can his patience waning.

“You- you mean the stuff from February? When I happened to mention you in one video? You think I meant for that shitstorm to start, for fun and publicity?”

Billy only shrugs again.

“Okay. Nope. Again, I mentioned your channel one time, as a source. Gave credit where credit was due. I do it for all the channels I watch! I’ve mentioned Nancy’s channel like 8 times, and Jonathan’s too. Never had this shit started with them.”

“They’re married, Steve. Like super married. Of course it wouldn’t. We’re both single, queer youtubers. Of course shit’s gonna stop. Didn’t your agent or whoever look over your video?”

Steve huffs. “Oh yeah, let me just go hire an agent, cause I have such a need for someone to monitor my every move,” Steve snarked. Billy just looked at him like he had failed to add 2 and 3.

“You’re telling me you, part of one of the biggest channels on Youtube, don’t have an agent?”

“We’re not one of the biggest channels, and we’ve never needed one! We’ve got our team of editors and assistants, no need for some agent.”

“Steve,” Billy says patiently, like he was explaining something to a child, “You have over 4 million subscribers. That’s a big channel.”

“We’re still not one of the biggest channels, dipshit.”

“Oh, I'm the dipshit? I didn’t start a fucking fandom frenzy apparently by accident. Because I was smart and got a fucking agent.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“Whatever you say Princess.”

“Stop fucking calling me a princess!” Steve screams, voice booming in the silent conference room. “Why do you do that? Pretty Boy, Princess, Stevie? Just- just stop with the fucking nicknames. It’s not fair.” The second part of his outburst comes out as a whisper, sounding almost desperate.

Billy was at a loss for words, but then again, he had always been more of a man of action.

So he says nothing, only gives a seconds’ thought of what he was going to do, before lunging forward and doing it.

Steve’s next words are muffled as Billy crashes their lips together with absolutely no finesse, teeth clacking. It probably constituted as the worst kiss Billy has ever had, but as he moves back, Steve grabs a fist full of blond locks and pulls him forward. Their

second kiss is far better. By no means is it soft, but that was just par for the course with them wasn’t it?

The kiss comes to a natural ending as they both pull back to breath, before Steve starts to giggle.

“You really need to work on your pick-up lines, Rat King.”

A soft gasp from the doorway cuts off Billy’s retort, and they both turn to see a girl decked out in Youtube merch, including a jacket with the Upside Down Theories logo on it. She had dropped her backpack, and was open-mouthed gaping at the two. Her eyes are as wide as dinner plates as she frantically gathers up her backpack and shoots out of the conference room.

“Chances that this blows up online by tomorrow?” Steve asks, turning to the blond next to him.

“I’m betting in the next two hours, Pretty Boy,” Billy replies.

A wicked smirk creeps onto Steve’s lips as he shrugs and says, “Oops. What was that about getting an agent to help with this stuff?”

---

Aside from this taking FOREVER, I hope you guys enjoy this! It was tons of fun to write.

tag team: @lostnoise @gideongrace @stevefuckingharrington @a-magey @catharrington @trashycatarcade @myboyfriendsteve @thesummerof84 @lightsupinthenorth @smashmouth-hargrove (lmk if you would like to be added/removed from the list!)

#tay writes #AGAIN FINALLY #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #stranger things #youtuber au #anon asks #tons of fun to write!!!

84 notes · View notes

ecto-american · 5 years ago

Text

If Found Please Return to Danny Phantom

Phic Phight Oneshot for @imperfection-at-itsfinest: When Jack manages to get his hands on Danny Phantom's ghost hunting logbook, an investigation reveals some information about ghosts and the infamous specter himself that a scientific study would never cover.

Read on FFN and AO3

123456789

It would be wrong of him to read it.

Jack kept staring at the book in his hands. It resembled a diary, the front design being colorless but a pressed design. The moon with stars, with no words, and the diary itself felt unusually thin. There was no lock, as if it was almost inviting him to just read it. Jack had, in fact, already opened to the first page, and the first words greeted him. In a standard font read: If Found, Please Return to: and the name scrawled, in surprisingly tidy handwriting, was the name Danny Phantom.

What an absolute find. It was pure dumb luck. He had seen Phantom drop it, but Jack had went looking for it in hopes that the ghost teen had dropped one of the stolen Fenton gadgets. Only to recover...this book that he had taken home and into the privacy of his lab for study.

The idea of Phantom keeping a diary was kinda funny. He never struck Jack as the type to write down his deepest darkest secrets or teenage embarrassments in a book. That would imply that the ghost had some kind of emotions. They didn’t. They were blobs of ectoplasmic energy.

So it should be okay for him to read, right? Why was he so hesitant? Well...it was an invasion of privacy. But it was fine. Phantom dropped it in the park. Phantom was a menace to society. There was likely evidence in this journal that could explain all of the ghost boy’s terrible deeds, that could prove that he truly was evil. This diary could change everything.

...Jack had children though, and he knew both were avidly creative. Scrapbooking, drawing, painting, writing. They were stress outlets for his girls, and he wouldn’t ever dare dream of invading their privacy like that. So he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. Phantom deserved privacy, right?

“Jack? Are you coming to dinner?” Maddie’s voice snapped him from his thought process. She hadn’t made a noise as she came down the stairs. But Maddie was a much better stealth hunter than him.

“Yes, yes! Sorry, I was distracted,” Jack apologized. He set the book down on the table. Maddie rose an eyebrow at him.

“Did you get a new ectobiology book?” she asked. His eyes glanced to the book, and he shook his head no. Maddie came over to him, studying the book cover. Of course, it didn’t resemble any of the scientific texts that they owned.

“I don’t know how to explain it…” Jack said slowly. He held it out to her. Maddie accepted it.

“This looks like it belongs to the kids,” she stated. She opened the first page, and Jack saw her eyes widen. Her breath hitched, and she looked up to him “Jack...where did you...get this?”

“He dropped it during a fight,” he replied. “I thought it was Fenton tech, but…”

Her eyes sparkled, and she shut the book. A wide grin had appeared, and she threw her arms around her husband.

“Oh Jack! This could teach us so much! If this really is a journal or some kind of diary, then he may have recorded motivations! Thoughts! We can really get into how Phantom thinks and a raw, honest, firsthand account from Phantom himself! This changes everything!”

She was right. She was absolutely right, and he hugged her back. They were scientists first and foremost, and this journal could fill in so many missing blanks about ghosts. It was a starting off point. Jack’s mind raced with all the things they could possibly learn. Just from a simple peek of the book. That was worth more than the invasion of privacy of a ghost that caused so much havoc, destruction and pain.

“We should look at it right now!” he exclaimed. Maddie pulled away with a small frown.

“After dinner,” she reminded him. “I finally got everybody corralled upstairs for a family dinner. It’s nearly impossible to get either of the girls at the same time.”

“Oh, right!” Jack nearly slapped his forehead. Yes, they were scientists first and foremost, but before even that, they were Mom and Dad. “First thing after dinner.”

“First thing after dinner,” she agreed with a smile.

Upstairs, he saw that Jazz was already serving herself. Chicken, mashed potatoes and peas. His youngest was pouring iced tea into glasses for everybody.

“Hey Ghost-kateers!” Jack greeted cheerfully with a grin. Both kids groaned in embarrassment. Perfect.

“Daaad!” his youngest complained, a whine hitching as she put the pitcher of ice tea back. “I told you, if I’m going to be some kind of ye olde soldier type, I wanna be a knight, like at the renaissance fair.”

“Ah, but if you’re a ghost-kateer, you can get an anti-ghost musket!” Jack teased. As he walked past her to get his own food, he playfully ruffled her pixie-cut hair. She waved his hand away.

“But as a ghost knight, I can get a cool sword!” she protested. Jack shook his head in fake disappointment.

“Never bring to a ghost sword to a ghost musket fight, baby boo,” her dad replied.

“Can’t shoot what you can’t see!” she shot back with a grin. Jack had to hand it to her, and he just chuckled.

“Can we please have a ghost free dinner?” Jazz scowled.

“Yes, yes, let’s save ghosts for after dinner,” Maddie agreed. Jazz shot her a grateful look, and Jack focused on getting his serving of dinner from the stove. His youngest pushed her sleeves up, exhaling. Jack stole a look at her and frowned. She had some sweat collected on her forehead.

“Honey if you're hot, you can just take your sweatshirt off,” he told her. She shook her head no.

“No, I'm fine,” she insisted. Jack was skeptical.

“You sure?” he asked.

“Mhm!”

Jack shrugged a bit. She was always insisting on wearing a hoodie, no matter the weather. If she got hot enough, she’d take it off. No need to force it. He got his food and took his seat.

“How's school going?” Maddie questioned. Jazz lit up a bit, and her sister flinched. She raised a suspicious eyebrow at her youngest.

“I managed to get a B on my chemistry test,” the youngest spoke up with a forced smile.

“That’s excellent!” Maddie’s demeanor shifted as she smiled warmly. “Keep it up!”

“Yeah!” The youngest seemed to visibly relax. “Sam’s been helping me study.”

“That’s good, I always studied better when V-man or your mom helped me,” Jack nodded at her as he cut up his chicken.

“Oh it’s true, I used to help your father study for all of our shared classes,” Maddie confirmed. “Otherwise he’d get so distracted.”

“Yeah, Sam just explains it super well,” their daughter agreed. “Tucker’s been going over math with me a bit, which helps some.”

“Well if you need a tutor, just let us know, and we’ll help you arrange one,” Maddie smiled. “What about you, Jazz?”

“Pretty good,” she replied. “Mr. Lancer asked if I wanted to be his TA this summer, which I really do. It’ll look good on a college application, and I might even get paid!”

“Have you been narrowing down where you might wanna go?” Jack asked. Jazz eagerly nodded.

“Yeah! Oxford is my number one choice, but I also would love to go to Yale or Stanford. I’ve been talking with the college counselor about what else might look good on an application for them that I can do over the summer. I wrote them down in my planner notebook earlier-”

“Hey, that kinda reminds me,” her sister interrupted. “Have you guys seen one of my notebooks? I think I lost it,” she asked them. Jack stared at her. The reminder of the notebook he actually had found. Maddie seemed unbothered by the question. This wasn’t unusual, for the parents to have to play “where’s my stuff?” with the kids.

“What notebook?” Jazz asked hesitantly.

“My important one,” came the reply. Jazz frowned lightly.

“Sorry, princess, haven’t seen any notebooks laying around,” Jack replied. He saw the briefest of a cringe cross his youngest’s features. “Did you leave it at school?” Her shoulders slumped.

“I don’t think so?” she said hesitantly. “I’ll have to check tomorrow. I was so sure I had it earlier…” Her voice trailed off before she forced a smile. “If you see it, let me know!” She picked up a forkful of chicken, only to freeze. The clattering made Jack glance up curiously as she was turning her attention to Maddie. “Can I be excused? I have some homework to get done.”

Maddie let out a soft sigh. So much for family dinner.

“Of course, just make sure you come back down before you go to bed to get your chores done,” Maddie nodded at her. The young Fenton snapped to her feet with a thanks, fully abandoning her dinner as she went to the stairs. Jazz stared after her sister, craning her neck to track her movements before hurriedly shoveling more mashed potatoes in her mouth.

“Uh, I’m not that hungry, and I totally forgot to do this online assignment,” Jazz spoke, standing up, taking hers and her sister’s plate. She was already walking away before either parent could truly give permission. “I’ll put our plates up and clean up in a bit!”

“A-alright?” Jack hesitated, watching his other child put the plates on the counter before rushing up as well. Another child down. They seemed to grow up so fast.

“Least they’re doing homework,” Maddie sighed lightly, shaking her head before taking a drink of her tea. “Oh well. Might as well take their lead and eat in the lab?”

“Please,” Jack agreed. He stood up, taking his plate. “I’m dying to see what Phantom has to say.”

January 10

Skulker: 1; captured

Ectopuss: 1; captured

Box Ghost: 8; captured

Ember: Fought; got away

Fenton Thermos: half-full

Fenton Fisher: untangled

January 11

Vultures: 1; got away

Cujo: 1; played fetch and he went back to the GZ

Fenton Thermos: Full

Ghost Bazooka: overheated and doesn’t shoot anymore, take apart and fix it

January 12

Skulker: 2; got away

Box Ghost: 3; captured

Sidney: 2; got away

Fenton Fisher: tangled, untangle asap

January 13

Skulker: 1; captured

Box Ghost: 4; got away

Fenton Thermos: damaged, won’t suck up ghosts

I met a new ghost today named Desiree. She got away, but it allowed me to discover a new ghost power. Ghost ray.

Maddie furrowed her brow as she studied the words. She stood at the table, her dinner half-forgotten as she thought on the words.

“It sounds like a record,” Jack mused, and he ate another spoonful of peas. Maddie nodded in agreement.

“I think we found Phantom’s logbook,” she agreed. “I’m assuming these are the ghosts he’s fought. And he seems to be recording his powers too. This is huge, we can match up what we know about his powers and what he’s claiming.”

“And he’s recording the status of our equipment.” Jack frowned. “Why would he care?”

“Yeah, he made note that he was going to fix the Fenton Bazooka too,” Maddie pointed out. The scientist flipped through the pages, only to stop at a page, staring curiously. Maddie laid the journal on the table, pressing the spine so that the pages stayed open. She read the page aloud to Jack.

December 19

I hate my life. I hate this existence. I look in the mirror and wonder why it has to be this way. Why am I the one cursed to be this freak? Why is everything about me and my body wrong? For once, I wish something about me was normal, that somebody about me could be right. If Desiree wasn’t such an unreliable asshole with wishes, I’d give everything I have to wish that life could, for once, allow me to be a normal teenage boy.

Jack listened to her in a stumped silence. This couldn’t have been a pre-death thought process of a moody teenager. It was written too recently, and the words hit a sorrowful chord to him. He didn’t intend to, but he quickly began to feel sorry for Phantom. He was very young. It couldn’t have been easy to lose everything at that age. His daughter was his age. Jack cleared his throat.

“It’s not just a log then?” Jack questioned. Maddie shook her head, flipping the pages back.

“No, I think it’s a mix. There’s still records of ghosts and FentonWorks equipment,” she replied. Using a leg, she pulled a wheeled chair to her to sit in. She leaned back, and she pulled the journal to her. After a moment of flipping through and scanning pages, she settled on a page about a third of the way through. “It seems like this is when he began to record things other than just ghosts.”

“What’s it say?” Jack wondered. Maddie read aloud the next few entries as Jack silently continued to eat.

April 4

I only fought this shitty panther today, and he still got away. I’m such a fucking idiot. I can’t believe he got away. I was too slow. All I do is fuck up. There’s ghostly activity happening around the school, and I just can’t figure it out. I feel like I can’t stop them anymore. I don’t know what’s going on, why I suddenly suck so much. I honestly probably just always sucked, and now it’s starting to hit me. [scribbles] and [scribbles] were trying to make me feel better, but I fucked up. It was only one ghost today, and I couldn’t catch them. It destroyed an entire store, and it’s my fault.

April 8

No ghosts today, surprisingly. But [scribbles] has been acting weird lately. The other day she poked and prodded me at dinner. No clue what that’s about. She also tried to give me this speech that I can talk to her about anything, and that she’d love me no matter what. That makes me think she found my binder. I’m honestly kinda freaking out. I knew I shouldn’t have left it out like that. She’s such a nosy know it all.

“Phantom must keep more records than just this,” Maddie lightly mused. “He has an entire binder full of information that somebody discovered.”

“Maybe on other ghosts?” Jack theorized. “He’s recording his fights, he must be also recording information about them.” Maddie’s eyes lit up.

“That makes so much sense,” she agreed. “He probably keeps so many kinds of things written down and logged. I wonder where he’s keeping it? Obviously paper, which is a bit odd. I figured a teenager would move to the digital age…” Maddie paused.

“Maybe he’s older than we think he is?” Jack suggested. “He could have died fifty years ago, and just be more comfortable with writing things down.”

“Oh, that’s true,” Maddie mused. She put down the notebook to take a long sip of her drink. Jack picked it up to observe the page she read.

“Phantom has neat handwriting,” he noted. “He’s not fighting ghosts when he writes these.” Jack’s eyes scanned the words. “...I wonder who he’s scribbled out.”

“Allies?” Maddie shrugged. “He probably went back and blacked out some of the names. Privacy. Especially if this isn’t the first time he’s lost this.”

It made the most logical sense. Jack skipped the purely log entries to one that had more written, and he read it aloud to his wife.

April 10

She was feeding on us. Spectra, the Casper High “psychologist” was feeding on emotions, like some kind of emotional vampire but she’s a ghost. It’s so scary. I saw her do it. She asked [scribbles] and [scribbles] about their lives. What made them unhappy, and why. And when they left, I saw her absorb? I guess how I’d describe it? She absorbed the energy into her skin and it just seemed to instantly revive her, and it made her happy. When she did it to me, I could just look in her eyes and know that she enjoyed every minute of my misery. I managed to stop her, with [scribbles] helping me. It was weird. She didn’t seem afraid of me. I don’t know why.

Spectra: 2; captured

“Ghosts can feed off of energy!” Maddie exclaimed. “Human energy! We always suspected it, but this is confirming something!” Jack glanced up at her excitedly. It was the first real, true ghostly discovery that Phantom was revealing to them.

April 13

All I do is fuck up lately. Because of me, this ghost dog just absolutely has been causing havoc on this girl’s life. She blames me. And I don’t blame her. I ruined her entire life. She lost her house because of me. I didn’t mean to. I tried to stop the dog, but he just won’t respond to anything I say. I can’t capture him. I’ve been trying. I’ve been just calling the dog Cujo. After the Stephen King book, because damn is this dog giving me one fucking nightmare of a time.

Cujo: 3, got away

April 16

[scribbles] kissed me. It was to force me to change back, and it worked, but she kissed me. It was great. She smelled like lavender. I don’t think my heart’s ever beaten so fast. Afterwards she clarified to me that it was just a fake-out make-out. It didn’t feel like it. I don’t want it to be. But she’s my best friend, and I can’t lose her. So I agreed, and when I came home I cried. My dad caught me, and I pretended it was just girl problems, even though that excuse made me feel even worse. He got me some ice cream, and we watched Star Trek together. It didn’t really help that much, if I’m being honest.

Anyway, apparently Cujo’s trained. He knows his commands. [scribbles] thinks it’s because he was a guard dog when he was alive for Axion Labs. For a guard dog, he’s such a playful puppy though, he loves his squeaky toy. And [scribbles] became a hunter specifically to kick my ass. It’s my lucky month. But I deserve it. Will there ever be a day where I actually can do more good than bad?

Skulker: 1; captured

[Scribbles]: 1 Red Huntress

Cujo: 1, got away

“Phantom has a family?” Maddie wondered. She chewed on her food as she thought. Jack shrugged, an odd, unsettled feeling hitting him as he put the book down for a moment. He used his spoon to push around his peas.

“I mean, we all do,” Jack reminded her. “Just...I didn’t think Phantom still talked to his family. After his death. Or did such...non-ghost things with them.” Watching Star Trek with his dad? Jack did that with his own kids all the time. It was his and his youngest daughter’s favorite show to watch together. Jazz typically preferred documentary series, and Maddie was too bothered by scientific inaccuracies to really enjoy science fiction. So it was always “their thing” and knowing that Phantom did it too was...too human.

“Yeah, I didn’t...really expect him to still be haunting them,” Maddie said. Jack could tell that this was disturbing her a little.

“But ghosts can retain their memories from life it seems,” Jack spoke up. Maddie stared at him. “The dog remembers commands from his life as a guard dog. What extent, I’m not sure.” Maddie hummed curiously.

Jack picked the book up again, skipping through more boring logs to other words.

April 29

Ember: 2; captured

Fenton Thermos: full, empty

The past few weeks have been terrible. I have definitely come to the conclusion that I really am developing a crush on [scribbles]. Or maybe I always had one, I dunno. Is this really just an effect from Ember’s supposed spell? Does ghostly mind control really last? I think I always knew that I liked her though. I mean, ever since I told her that [scribbles], she’s been so supportive. She even cut my hair for me, which really pissed my parents off, but they ended up admitting that I looked better with my hair short anyway. Almost like it’s meant to be, huh? Ha. [scribbles] is also one of the only two people who know my deeper secret. She’s been so supportive through that too. She calls me Danny, and every time she refers to me as that, it makes my heart go crazy.

But would she even like me? Would she even wanna be with somebody like me? I don’t think I’d be her type. Some other friends I met at this local support group have complained about the struggles of dating. The stories are depressing, and it makes me worried that while [scribbles] will always love and accept me as a friend, that she’d never be able to love me as a boyfriend. I hate my life.

“Aw, Phantom has a little girlfriend,” Jack half-joked, only for goosebumps to raise and an odd chill run down his spine. He looked to Maddie for her opinion, and her face was scrunched up.

“That’s a bit creepy,” she commented. “He’s pretending to be human.”

“I dunno, Mads,” Jack shrugged. He re-read the ghostly teen’s internal conflicts. “Why would he pretend to be human in a journal that nobody’s meant to read?”

“He has to be sharing it with his allies,” she argued. “Those people he’s been scribbling out. Phantom has to be pretending for them. To keep them around. He even mentioned ghostly mind control.”

She pushed her mostly-finished plate from herself, motioning for Jack to hand over the journal. He complied, and Maddie flipped through it. She stopped, and she set the journal down on the table once more. Leaning over, she studied the spine. A finger ran along the inner spine, and she frowned.

“Pages are missing,” she noticed. Jack pushed his plate out of the way to lean over as well.

Indeed, the top of the diary revealed that it was meant to be a normal, full diary. Now that Maddie pointed it out, it looked like well over a fourth of the diary had missing pages. Jack squinted, pulling his hood over his eyes. He used his googles to better examine.

“They weren’t ripped out, like in a ghost fight,” Jack told her. He pointed to what remained of a page, a barely noticeable strip. “It was carefully cut out.” Maddie narrowed her eyes to get a better look.

“You’re right,” she mused. “Phantom did this purposefully. Probably to hide stuff from his allies.”

“But why hide some stuff and not others?” Jack wondered aloud. “Clearly this girlfriend figure is an ally, but he can’t be...sharing this with her, right?” Maddie pulled back from the notebook to lean in her chair with a heavy sigh.

“...I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t think he would. But he’s also a ghost, they do weird things.” Jack didn’t know how to reply, and so he continued to read.

May 16

The past few days have been so full of drama. Walker ruined my life. He absolutely ruined it. He set out to make me the most hated person in Amity Park out of pure spite, and he succeeded. I’m public enemy number one. I can never win. For a while now, I had debated telling my parents, because I so desperately want their support, but they were part of the news coverage calling me a disgusting, evil ghost. I ended up crying yesterday. I don’t think they’ll ever truly love me if they knew. I also failed Wulf. Another failure on my plate. I’m just waiting for it to all crash down on me.

Walker: 1; sent to the GZ

Wulf: 1; sent to the GZ

Walker’s goons: at least 14, all captured

Fenton Thermos: overflowingly full

“Oh this is just becoming nonsense,” Maddie complained. “He’s lying. We were there, Jack! We saw him attack us.”

“I know, I know, he did, yeah, he did,” Jack tried to gather his thoughts. “But why would he lie in this? I don’t think anybody was meant to read this?” Jack flipped through the pages. The further he flipped through in, the more he could tell that some sections had more carefully cut out papers than others. Why was Phantom cutting out? What was he hiding? Why was he hiding it?

“He meant for somebody to read this,” Maddie lightly argued.

“Yeah, it seems like it, but…,” Jack trailed off. He shook his head a bit, flipping back to where they had left off. “I dunno.”

“Hold on a second,” Maddie urged him, standing up. “Let me get something to write with, we should take some notes.”

“We can just use the scanner to make a copy of the journal afterwards, and we can further analyze it afterwards,” Jack suggested. Maddie thought on this, and she nodded, but she still reached for some scrap paper and a pen.

“Good idea, we should probably read through it fully first anyway,” she agreed. “But I still want to jot down some thoughts.”

“Of course, of course,” Jack replied. He knew that’s how she thought and processed information best, and it was always from her notes that he could visualize his own theories properly. He took a drink of tea before he continued reading the next true entry.

May 24

My entire relationship with my other crush (not [scribbles]) was a lie. She was being overshadowed by Kitty the entire time. This was my first real girlfriend, and it was all fake. I had assumed I was so lucky. I found a girl who knew and was okay with both of my biggest secrets. When I got home I ended up just going straight to my room. [scribbles] brought me dinner, but I didn’t feel like eating. Is this what life is going to be for me? I don’t want it to be like this. The only good thing is that [scribbles] doesn’t know either secret alongside our brief relationship.

Least Kitty and Johnny seem happy again. For now at least. I swear, they’re always breaking up and getting back together.

Kitty: 1; sent back to the GZ

Johnny 13: 1; sent back to the GZ

Shadow: 1; sent back to the GZ

Jack could lightly hear Maddie taking notes on her scrap paper, the pen scratching at the surface. He didn’t comment on it, silently flipping to the next page, and he continued to read.

August 19

I was forced to really face the reality of how much I fucked up [scribbles] life. I hate it. I’d do anything to take it back. It makes me wonder if I should just retire. Am I even really doing anything to help? Am I just a nuisance? Everybody thinks that.

Rationally I know I can’t. I’m the only one who can properly deal with the ghosts, who has the power and abilities to fight back without getting killed. I have to do what I can, but I just wish I could do it without making so many mistakes. [scribbles] said that it’ll be okay, and that it gets better, but it sure doesn’t fucking feel like it.

Skulker: 3; finished

Red Huntress: 2; temporary truce?

“He’s so full of...emotion for a ghost,” Maddie finally spoke up.

Jack glanced at the paper she had in front of her. There was some notes of what they had been learning so far, and there were emotions written in all caps with a line under, and a list of various emotions. Emotions Phantom seemed to be displaying. Guilty, despair, loneliness, self-hatred, self-doubt. Despite the few entries, it was already quite a list.

“It’s not just him either,” Maddie continued. Jack rose an eyebrow at her. She didn’t immediately reply, fingers on her lips as she stared down at the journal. “He’s giving emotions to other ghosts too.”

Jack stared down blankly at the journal in his hands.

“Where?”

Maddie began to write, and as she wrote, it clicked. Spectra’s joy in hurting others. Kitty and Johnny’s relationship. Walker’s spite. Cujo being a playful puppy. According to Phantom, and against what they knew as scientists, ghosts were experiencing a wide variety of emotions and for different reasons. It was weird.

Jack continued to read.

October 17

I don’t know what happened the past few days. It’s this weird blur. According to [scribbles] and [scribbles] I did a lot of bad things under Freakshow’s control. [scribbles] hugged me and told me that it was nothing that we couldn’t fix, but I doubt that. Why does this keep happening to me? I don’t want to hurt people. I want to be a good person, and I want to help Amity Park, but I don’t know what keeps happening. Everything’s a fog, and I’m exhausted.

Freakshow: 1; arrested by APPD

Circus ghosts: freed from Freakshow’s control, went back to the GZ

Replace Fenton Anti-Creep Stick, print out another sticker to put on it

“Freakshow...that was the weird circus guy,” Jack interrupted himself. Maddie nodded.

“Yeah, and if Phantom’s right...he could control the ghosts,” she mused. “So there’s a way for humans to take control of ghosts...That’s something to look into. If we can control the ghosts into staying away, it’d be such a massive scientific breakthrough.”

“We should look into Freakshow more, and see if we can talk to him!” Jack agreed. “Maybe he’ll share something with us.” Maddie smiled softly.

“I doubt that,” she replied gently. “But there’s no harm in trying. What else does it say?”

November 8

I have to fight Pariah Dark. I’m terrified. I don’t think I’ll live through it. How can I live through fighting the actual ghost king? I may never see my family again, and I can’t even tell them what happened to me if I die. I’ve been debating telling [scribbles] that I like her, but I don’t think I could bring myself to do it.

What happens if I die? I have no clue. I’m scared to find out. I can’t die now. I have to make it back. I’ll go missing, and I won’t even be declared dead as my parents’ son. Nobody will know who to really look for. I have to come back. Maybe if I succeed, and people like me again after this, I can tell my family everything.

November 10

I couldn’t tell them. My parents still despise part of me, despite what I’ve done. I know they love me, cause my mom’s already been fussing over me like crazy because of my injuries. [scribbles] said she cried when they couldn’t find me, and that my dad had gone out looking for me all over the city, even in the dangerous parts. They of course love me, but do they really love me unconditionally?

Jack felt his voice trailing off as he hit the end. He coughed lightly, and he took a long drink. Maddie stared off into nothing. The only thing he could think of was his own search for his baby girl. He wasn’t alone, bumping into several other parents desperately looking for their missing children, and several children who got separated from their parents. The entire day was somber and frightening, and Maddie had spent the entire day glued to the phone. In case she called them.

It was all...too real, and Jack flipped past more logs. He couldn’t help but begin to take note of how every single day had a log of ghost fighting activities, even if Phantom didn’t write down his feelings every day. This was so much more than the ghost hunting duo ever expected, more attacks than they were recording.

His eyes rested only for a moment on December 19, and he decided to just skip it. They had already read it earlier. No need to refresh those memories. More logs, and more missing pages, and he came upon another one.

March 26

I ripped out a lot of pages, more than I intended. I can’t risk anybody finding out what happened, but also other pages revealed too much, so I kept them tucked away where nobody could ever find them. I’d burn them, but I don’t want to lose the ghost hunting data. It’s okay now. I fixed the problem and assured that everything’s going to be fine. Possibly better. I made the right choice this time, and now I know that one day, I will grow a sick beard.

I know somebody knows my secrets now. All of them. She had known for months but wanted me to tell her. She asked me if I had a name, and ever since I told her that it was Danny, she’s been calling me that whenever she can. It made me cry the first time. It’s so great to have her know everything now. She loves me no matter what. I couldn’t ask for a better person. Even though she found out because I’m an idiot. This entire thing also made me realize how important it is to keep those secrets, and how poorly I’ve been keeping them.

I didn’t ever mean for this to turn into a diary. I wanted to keep track of ghost fights. But it honestly helps with both the dysphoria and the stresses of being a ghost. I just went back and scribbled out names. Just in case. In the future I need to be more vague.

But this is also the end for one secret. If things go wrong then well. I don’t know. I’ll make it up as I go along. But I know that this is who I am, and that I’m hitting a point where I need help to just be me.

Him: 1; captured for good

Skulker: 2; captured

Desiree: 1; captured

Ectopusses: 1; captured

Cujo: 1, sent back to the GZ

Fenton Thermos: full

Fenton Anti-Creep Stick: destroyed, get new bat and sticker to put on it

Also learned a new ghost power: Ghostly wail. A scream that can just absolutely fuck somebody’s day up. I have to use it sparingly though.

Jack closed the journal, and he set it flat on the table. His mind was blank, and he couldn’t read Maddie. She continued to stare at the closed book, hand in pen but almost unsure as to what to even jot down as a note. He leaned in his seat, finishing his drink. Maddie exhaled deeply, dropping her pen in favor of stretching.

Neither said a word. Jack knew that this journal was not any kind of trick. It was too raw and emotional to be anything more than the thoughts of a teenage ghost. He regretted reading it. It held some interesting information, and he was sure if he dug deeper, that he would find more. But as it stood, his own intense guilt was settling as he knew that he just took too personal a look into the private emotional afterlife of Phantom.

“This is a lot to take in,” Maddie finally spoke. Jack only nodded.

The basement door opened, and they heard dual pairs of footsteps hop downstairs. Jack instantly brightened, and he turned in his chair to smile as his kids soon came into view.

“Hey, is this a bad time?” Jazz asked. She glanced between them, and Jack immediately shook his head no.

“No, no,” Maddie replied quickly. Jack saw her push the journal and her notes, along with her pen and a few spare lab tools, carelessly into a drawer to help assure the Fenton kids that they weren’t interrupting anything. “What’s up, sweetie?”

“Well, I have something that I wanna talk about,” their youngest spoke slowly. Jack noticed that she had finally taken off her hoodie, and that while she wore her normal tomboy attire, that something was a bit off about her. He couldn’t place it. Jazz stood close to her, an arm full of books clutched to her chest, though he couldn’t make out any titles. “It’s something important, and I don’t really want to put it off any longer.”

“Is something wrong? Are you in trouble?” Jack asked. His daughter shook her head no.

“Oh, no!” she said. “It’s just…”

She took a deep breath, and soon, their son began to explain.

#phics #my phics #phic phight #team ghost

227 notes · View notes

rwbyconversations · 5 years ago

Text

Rooster Teeth Glassdoor Crunch/Overtime Accusations #AnimatorsFirst

EDIT: Georden Whitman, former creator of Nomad of Nowhere, has come out and publicly confirmed the Glassdoor reviews are true.

Original story:

Rooster Teeth’s Glassdoor reviews have recently made serious allegations against the company, with people who work for the company claiming that the company engages in practices involving heavy crunch periods, a resistance to providing benefits, eighty hour work weeks, a management team trying to justify crunch and unpaid overtime that, according to some, led to as much as a third of RWBY and gen;LOCK’s recent seasons being made effectively for free.

Below are screencaps and exact quotes from the pages. Any emphasis made is done by me.

From May 23rd this year, as written by an employee with three years experience at RT:

Cons

Program scheduling department has no idea how to time budget for animation, has resulted in unnecessary, preventable crunch Company takes on projects that are too big for it to manage effectively Not the highest pay compared to Anim Guild standards Open office space, gets noisy

Advice to Management

Management has been using a weird method to try and deescalate hard feelings about crunch. They’re acting like counselors who are “there to talk” and to try and find “coping mechanisms” to deal with crunch. This is a terrible idea considering that none of them are trained counselors as far as I’m aware, but more-so, they’re obviously going to be biased in favor of what they want from us. It makes me want to communicate with them even less. This past review, my manager criticized me for having “negative energy” during a terrible crunch period where we were working over 80 hrs s week, and told me I should “look for the silver lining” which is just bad advice. Advice to management is to stop pretending you know anything about mental health and also be less passive - fight harder for your team.

From May 13th, an employee with a year’s experience at Rooster Teeth:

Cons

The management is terrible. Artists are lead on with the promises of "full time employment and benefits" dangled in front of them without ever being addressed and ultimately are never given, there is no paid overtime, artists had to fight for their right to time off between productions, and good luck getting any form of benefits despite them being plastered on the wall.

Advice to Management

You're not a group of guys playing halo in your apartment anymore. Please run your business and look at what's happened to it.

From June 11th this year, from an employee who has been working at the company for five years:

Cons

- Extremely poor management (Some of it is negligence, some of it is just accidental from the sheer amount of work. Upper management is also extreme bro/friends club.) - Insanely high expectations (animate a 10-14 min episode in 2 weeks) - Very low compensation (I've worked here for years and make entry pay. Some people have gone MULTIPLE years with no raise) - No overtime pay (Every season of RWBY and GL gets about 1/3 or less made for 'free' because no one gets paid over time and it's not uncommon to work hundreds of hours of overtime) - Toxic work environment (there are a lot of cliques, complaining and even making fun of other people and depts here. It never gets punished so it always happens. Not professional) - You know something is going right when after many complaints HR reminds everyone you have "unlimited" mental health doctor appointments... I could honestly go on and on like an emo on Myspace in 2007 but I'll reign it in. I'll leave it at this since I've seen many fans read these and be skeptical. It's not great. You can deny it but there is a lot of evidence if you just accept it. And the reason you work here is cus you get stuck and are promised "It'll get better". The work is low quality (hard to get jobs elsewhere), pay is low (can't save money) and life/work balance is a joke. We have a bit of balance now but it's only for a couple months out of the year when production isn't in full swing. Then it's back in the meat grinder.

Advice to Management

You NEED to listen to the workers and make hard decisions and actually fight for better conditions. It's been far far too long of "it'll get better" or "we know what to do next year". This isn't sustainable and I think we all know it. But someone has to be the guy to say "no" when things aren't good enough. If you don’t say no, hundreds of people suffer. Please.

From May 18th:

Cons

Crunch has gotten to an unacceptable level. Productions have been completed with over half of total hours unpaid overtime, especially impacting the comp and editing department. Management cares more about their ego than the quality of the work they put out— letting the crunch caused by their irresponsible decisions fall solely on the shoulders of the artists while they enjoy a forty hour work week. Pay is laughable compared with the amount of mandated, unpaid hours of labor. No career advancement, and contract workers are given empty promises of full time employment before being shown the door once production is done.

Advice to Management

Stop saying the crunch issue is “getting better” or that you’re “working on it”, and start actually owning up to your mistakes.

From May 19th:

Cons

-A lot of employees brought on, if not all, before the last development cycle were promised permanent positions after a 90 day trial period. As those dates approached those artists saw no change, asking their leads what was going on. The guidance from higher ups was vague at best, and some felt like they had been forced to lie to employees during the interview process. - A lot of processes went over-scope due to poor planning. -Lack of actual production experience in the management side of things is no longer something that can be glossed over as the company tries to take on more industry vetted employees. -Crunch is extreme and overtime is not compensated for, nor is that time given back in any fair amount.

Advice to Management

-Clear and concise communication -Re-structure your upper level management

From May 12th:

Cons

Crunch here is out of control. No Paid OT. Expect to work A LOT for free. 70-80 hour work weeks. Mandatory 10-12 hour work days sometimes with no days off. Management is more interested in telling you what you want the hear as opposed to the truth.

Advice to Management

Fix the crunch issue and stop saying 'we're working on it'.... because you're not. Layoffs are certain. Will layoff bad employees and good employees in the same breath, completely eliminating any reason to work as hard as you're required to do. Fix your transparency issue and stop overworking your employees otherwise your reputation will severely suffer.

From April 5th:

Cons

-No paid overtime. -Crunch is a major problem in the animation department due to unrealistic deadlines, poor planning, and indecisiveness. (Mandatory 10 to 12 hour days for multiple months are common.) -Stress levels are often very high due to harsh deadlines -Some of the producers tend to lie. -Promotions are used as a morale booster, not actual career advancement. -Hardly any time for Professional Development -Professionalism can be a bit scarce (for example people would draw penises on the boards throughout the studio)

Advice to Management

-Management needs to seriously figure out how to deal with the crunch issue. A question was asked at an all hands meeting: "How are you going to handle crunch this year?" Instead of giving a clear answer, the head of the RT animation department completely dodged the question. If you don't know how you are going to tackle a problem, try saying, "I don't know. I will get back with you ASAP." Then actually pursue a solution to the problem. Dodging questions makes you look shady and untrustworthy. -Improve production plans and make sure you have enough resources to complete your projects. If you are going to work on two shows at the same time, then you need to double ALL of your teams along the pipeline, not just one. If you can barely get one project done with your current resources, you certainly cannot finish two. If you can't get the resources needed to complete the projects, then it's probably best to keep them small or to simply not do them at all. Pushing your teams beyond the breaking point is not the wisest decision. If you continue with your overambitious ways, it will backfire in the long run. Telltale Games' closure and Bioware's Anthem debacle are examples of what's to come if you do not improve your production practices and get crunch under control. -Get more training on how to manage people. There are plenty of programs out there that can help management understand how to work with various types of personalities. There were some situations where I noticed that some leads and producers simply did not know how to talk to a person when there was a problem. Despite all of the criticism I just wrote, I feel the majority of who work at Rooster Teeth Productions are decent people. However, the management is just terrible. Put some of that ambition you have into fixing your problems internally instead of putting it into meeting those unrealistic deadlines.

From March 25th:

Cons

- Massive amounts of unpaid overtime. All while touting the importance to the company of a life/work balance. They promise to give you the time back, but it will be impossible to take. - Management is just a joke. They can’t schedule or stay on track to save their lives. Total amateur hour. - Zero followthrough on promises made. How about a pizza party? - Pay much lower than standard. Don’t expect real raises. Promotions with increased responsibilities don’t come with comparable pay bumps. - Most promises of advancement and opportunities are hollow wishful thinking. - Almost zero followthrough with meaningful investment in employee education. You can access a Udemy account and that’s about it. - Management will blame the artists instead of taking responsibility and will even through people under the bus to cover themselves. - Internet celebs are more valuable than artists. - Their awards are called “cockbite of the month/year” and it’s what they call their employees. You may not want to be called that but that’s too bad. It’s their culture. A few guys draw penises everywhere to be funny. - Not very much diversity in management. Feels like you need to be a straight white male to be appreciated.

Advice to Management

Hire some actual seasoned industry professionals to upper management in Animation. And demonstrate there are some consequences for them, instead of taking it out on employees.

From April 11th:

Cons

-Overtime, and hours will cause any person to slowly become something they don't like. -Management is typically made up of "talent" and treats other employees poorly, not to mention 0 years of previous managerial experience. -Management also blames other employees for the problems they create, and don't show actual leadership. -Echo chambers within management. -Stress levels incredibly high -Lack of professionalism

Advice to Management

-Get rid of "talent" in managerial roles, it's clear they're costing the company serious problems and money. The ones who end up being hurt are the employees who knew and constantly warned about problems ahead of time that were ignored. If the company stays the same a huge incident is bound to follow. -Try to respect creatives that aren't "talent" within the company as well. It's clear management doesn't and goes against the entirety of the company's "core values." those who have had previous industry experience should be listened to and considered instead of being shrugged off and given responses like "Well that's just how we do things." -Collaboration doesnt seem to exist for a majority of managment here. If this one massive change happens the company could really grow far and do much more than create crude content with a lack of care/heart for the final product. -If people are able to sleep and have a normal schedule more thoughtful input will also happen, and your content can only get better. -A multitude of people and lives have been hurt from management at this company, from in house employees being mentally abused to freelancers that are ghosted. So many immature and poor practices have taken place within the animation department I'm amazed a lawsuit has yet to happen. -Management should be leaders not bosses.

It’s almost darkly funny that most of the positives are just “They give you free food on Mondays and the people are nice.”

But these are all from just the last year alone. Most reviews from before the start of 2019 don’t speak of crunch barring one from April 2018, one from March 2018 and one from June. This is a problem that has been affecting Rooster Teeth for at least an entire year, and since the start of the new year, the problem has magnified tenfold. Most reviews mention that the heads of departments are aware of the crunch and unpaid overtime but refuse to do anything about it beyond offering platitudes or dodging the question on what the company is going to actually do to fix the crunch problem.

Crunch is a problem plaguing many companies, especially in the western hemisphere. In gaming development there’s a story nearly every month about what apathetic upper management think they can get away with by forcing employees to spend dozens of hours every week slaving away on their product. I hoped that Rooster Teeth would not be one of these companies, but I am saddened to see that they were not.

Crunch’s negative effects on mental and physical health have been well documented, alongside the basic fact that crunch isn’t worth it and doesn’t work. Employees forced to crunch are unable to work as well as employees who are well rested and have time to go home to their families.

To anyone working these impossible crunch hours at Rooster Teeth right now, I hope your suffering ends soon, that eventually basic human empathy wins out and hours are lessened while you receive your just rewards for your work.

For @roosterteeth? This is appalling and a slap in the face to the fanbase you conned into thinking that you were a company that cared for everyone within as a huge family. Your entire management team should be ashamed of the environment you signed off on. No profit margin is worth the suffering you have subjected your crew to. Shame on you.

As a fan of RWBY, it disgusts me that a product I enjoy was made through blood, sweat and tears. And as a fan of RWBY, I wish to make a public call to the fanbase, be it on Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter or Youtube. I want to make a public statement to Rooster Teeth that we are willing to wait longer for new shows if it means that they are made ethically. I can’t in good conscience support a product if it was made by putting the workers through hell. Maybe I can’t change anything on my own, maybe ultimately we’ll just be ignored, but I refuse to stand by and stay silent on the matter, maybe even get Rooster Teeth to make changes in their workflow (I won’t say “I hope they respond” because they seem to respond in-house to complaints about crunch without ever actually changing anything)

I encourage you to share this around as much as you can. Share the accounts of the Glassdoor reviews as far and as wide as you can. We love and enjoy media, we love the people who make it- the animators, editors, writers and voice actors, and we as a community want them to not have to resort to RT’s seemingly unlimited mental health coverage or “find a coping mechanism to deal with crunch.” As much as it pains me to admit, I’d rather see RWBY die instead of seeing continue to be made on the back of crunch.

Thank you for reading. Again, I encourage you to share this around as much as you can. Let your voice be heard if you stand against this.

#rwby #Rooster Teeth #Genlock #crunch #overtime #glassdoor #georden whitman #nomad of nowhere

5K notes · View notes

electronicdelusionstarlight · 4 years ago

Text

People might have realized at this point that I’m doing my BIGGEST CONVERSION YET of my skyrim game by finally taking a stab at most of the horny shit I’ve been disdaining till now for the sake of, like... forming an honest opinion over it and also because I’m an ABSOLUTE IDIOT.

Anyway, I’m trying to set up some things right, put Maids 2 on, you know, like a fool, put on Amorous Adventures Plus which SHOULD have fixed all the bugs and made the dialogue less cringy, set up the flower girls framework, set up CBBE and SOS but I specifically got 5 side CBBE mods FOR THE ONLY PURPOSE of making all female NPCs buff as fuck by equating their weight and height stats with their muscles and then cranking it all to max and shit while keeping men virtually untouched, and I’ve decided to finally try some of those same follower mods I’ve always scoffed at.

I’m getting somewhere so stay with me.

Anyway, keeping in mind I’m NOT putting Yuriana the Buxom Tank Wench on because Jesus Christ even I have standards, I have decided to mostly check on Nachtdaemmerung77, which mostly got to me because they do have some muscle definition at least, and all seem to have a semblance of personality if not an actual one in the case of a couple of them. Anyway, he has a couple followers and all, and among them are two redguards.

Now, standalone Redguard followers with a personality are actually pretty rare believe it or not, even more so than Argonians before Khash, so most of them are technically just... generic followers with a pleasing to the eye form regardless of gender, so when I find out apparently one of the two followers require an entire quest to actually get her as follower and has an actual storyline and personality and shit, I decide to put her on at least for this one playtrhough just to check on her to see what is she all about.

(On a unrelated note I guess Khash will have to sit this one out. I don’t really feel comfortable with having her in my party when I’m doing any of this. I guess I can still keep her in the mod loadout and still have the core gang of her, Inigo, Lucien and Styx the Shadow Dog, BUT the second I start any kind of Amorous Adventures or Maids or any of the other mods out there she’s sent back to Riverwood ASAP where I guess Triss Marigold the Fully Voiced and Completely Lore Friendly Witcher Follower can babysit her).

Anyway, here’s the reason why I made this post.

THIS is Shindara, the more expanded on of the two followers, DEFAULT outfit she comes along with in the mod:

(Listen, i never said those were good or tasteful mods)

Anyway, this is her DEFAULT outfit, the one she is sold on. Very generic as far as female bikini armors go, and she’s supposed to be a fire mage rather than a warrior (That’s Yashira, the other Redguard). You see this, and you see yet another run of the mill Nexus female follower.

But then, right as you install the mod on MO2 and the FOMOD shows up and you check all the things you need to check...

The Mod throws a curve ball at you.

This is the first time you’ll hear me say it, but THANK FUCK Todd decided to be a bitch and make all Alikir Warriors in skyrim men, now their vanilla, traditional clothing doesn’t have a watered down version for female character like stuff like the Forsworn Armor does, so we can get this fucking gem!

LOOK AT THIS. WORDS CAN’T BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW PLEASENTLY AMAZED I AM I AM ALLOWED TO HAVE THIS. THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN ADVERTIZED FROM THE START, HELL, THIS SHOULD BE A FEATURE ON EVERY SINGLE FEMALE FOLLOWER ON THE NEXUS, THE SPECIFIC SETTING OF PUTTING THEM IN GENDER NEUTRAL GARB.

I HONESTLY FIND THIS OUTFIT THOUSANDS OF TIMES HOTTER THAN THE ORIGINAL ONE FOR ONE THING, AND FOR ANOTHER IT’S WAY LESS JUVENILE THAN THE PREVIOUS OPTION.

BRAVO TO THE AUTHOR HONESTLY. THE MOD IS PROBABLY STILL NOT AS GOOD AS I THINK IT WILL BE BASED ON THIS ONE OPTION BUT DAMN IF MY EXPECTATION HAVENT BEEN RAISED.

#SKYRIM #ELDER SCROLLS #SKYRIM MOD #TES #EH #HAMMERFELL #REDGUARD

6 notes · View notes

slutforgoodliterature · 3 years ago

Text

Something Wicked - Part 2

Chapter Two - Dead Poets Society

Warnings: angst, descriptions of extreme violence, swearing

A/N: thanks for all the love on part one! I had actually finished writing this second part last week but then I accidentally pressed Control-T and the whole thing deleted so... don’t press Control-T basically 🙃

Also, this is what I imagine Natalie to look like! I always like having a visual, ignore this picture if you don’t want her to look this way I guess ahaha (Rose Salazar for anyone who’s wondering)

The drive to the police precinct is super uncomfortable. Spencer’s leg is pressed against mine the whole way, and because I’m stuck in the middle there’s nothing I can do to avoid it. He seems like he’s trying to position himself as far from me as possible as well, but the freaking spider has too-long legs that barely fit in the back of this SUV.

When we arrive, Immediately put as much space between him and I as possible and seek out Chief Willoughby.

“Hi, Natalie Hart, public liaison for the Behavioural Analysis Unit. This is my…” I sense Spencer hovering over my shoulder, “colleague, Special Agent Spencer Reid.” I hold out my hand for the chief of police to shake.

He ignores my hand and instead scans me head to toe, staying silent.

“We’re here to assist you with the recent string of home invasions and murders?” I raise a brow at him.

Willoughby huffs. “Well, I can tell you it wasn’t my choice to get you guys to come on down here, but my second in command seems to have a lot of faith in your mind-reading mumbo jumbo.”

I drop my hand. This will be fun.

“Actually, Chief Willoughby, the job of the BAU is not to do any mind reading. We instead study cues and behaviour and use these skills in situations such as these to give insight into the people who commit these crimes. From there, we create a profile that aids your people to narrow down a suspect pool-“

Spencer is cut off by an aggressive cough from Willoughby.

“Yes okay, okay. It’s good you’re here. I got one of the officers to clear out an office for you, just that door there.” He points and we start to head over. Before I shut the door behind us, I look back at him and give him my best glare.

“I can only help as much as you let me, Chief. We want to stop this just as much as you do.” He stares back at me, eyes narrowed. “Don’t let your ego get in the way.” He nods once and turns on his heel.

“What did you say to him?” Spencer asks as I enter the office. He’s already got a map tacked to the wall and is circling specific points, I’m assuming where the murders happened.

“Does it matter?” I sigh, already at my wits end from dealing with one asshole. I don’t need another one on my back.

“We need to be courteous to these people, Natalie. If they ask us to leave because you snapped at him, then-“ He begins to berate me but I whirl around and point a finger up at him, seeing as he’s at least a head taller than me.

“Thanks for the lecture, John Lennon. Funnily enough, as a public liaison, I know how to deal with people. He needed to know we would take it seriously, and men like him never respect women who don’t stand up for themselves.” His eyes widen as I almost yell at him.

Before he can respond, the ringing of a phone breaks us out of our glaring contest. He picks it up quickly and exchanges a few words with whoever is on the other end before finally saying “We’ll be there in 10.”

He avoids my eyes and slings his back over his shoulder. “There’s been another family discovered. Same killer, Hotch wants us there ASAP.”

I nod wordlessly.

The second we arrive, journalists and TV crews flock the car.

“I’ll deal with them, meet you inside in a minute.” I wave Spencer off.

“You sure you can-“ he starts but I cut him off.

“Stop doubting me for one second and get your ass inside before I become your next unsub.” I smile sweetly at him, but he must see the rage in my eyes because he hurries away.

As the press clamours for information, I stand stoically in front of the cameras and answer their questions in the limited way I can.

“Yes, the FBI is here to assist in the investigation into the current string of murders. Yes, we are doing all we can to apprehend whoever is behind this. No, I will not be discussing the details of the case.”

One question in particular catches me off guard.

“Can you comment on the rumour he’s leaving written messages at the crime scene?” I search the crowd for whoever said that, but whoever did has faded into the crowd.

“As I said, I will not be discussing the case. Nothing more to be said at this point in time.” I turn on my heels, ignoring the yelling behind me, and disappear into the house.

I find the others in the living room and I’m confronted by blood. So much blood. The bodies of the family are strewn across the floor. I balk and cover my mouth in a fist, knowing I’d let out and embarrassing sound. I turn to face the doorway, avoiding the gore.

On the wall across from me are bright red words that send a chill down my spine.

Written in blood reads: I will drain him dry as hay

“You handled the press well. Hotch was impressed.” Rossi sneaks up behind me and I jump slightly at the sudden voice.

“Just doing my job.” I mutter. He pats me on the shoulder knowingly and turns back to the group.

I tune out their conversation as they discuss the bodies before them. I don’t need those images in my head. The bodies haphazardly covered by sheets is enough for me.

“The quote is another one from Shakespeare. Same play as the last one.” Spencer states, studying the wall.

“Yeah, Macbeth. Like Natalie said.” Emily smiled at me warmly. Spencer swallows thickly and shoots me a short, cold look.

“Exactly. Both quotes are actually from the three witches, who basically curse Macbeth for becoming so power hungry. In fact, Macbeth himself is the ‘something wicked’ that the first quote references.” He continues.

“So the unsub is attacking people he thinks are power hungry and successful?” Derek asks the room.

“I think that’s highly likely. So far, all the victims have been relatively wealthy families.” Hotch says without emotion.

“But if the unsub is targeting the man of the house, how come they’re the only ones that aren’t beaten.” Emily says. “They seem to get the most merciful death. The mothers, on the other hand…” everyone turns to look at the brutalised woman on the ground.

“In the play, Lady Macbeth is actually seen as the one controlling Macbeth and pushing him to be so ruthless.” I add quietly. Every head swivels to me.

“That’s a good point Natalie.” Hotch nods thoughtfully. Spencer even looks impressed with my observation. “The unsub might be targeting the women he believes are pushing their husbands to be successful.”

“Maybe a wife of his own left him because he didn’t achieve her standards? That could be the motive.” Derek says.

“And a stressor.” Emily sighs.

“So what, we just search up every guy in Memphis who’s recently been through a divorce?” Rossi scoffs. “That’ll take days. We need to narrow it down more.”

“Shakespeare seems to have a significant meaning to this unsub. I suggest we take that into account.” Spencer offers and I find myself nodding in agreement.

Derek pulls out a phone and dials quickly.

“You’ve reached the goddess of all things tech. How can I help you?” Garcia’s voice crackles through the speaker.

“Babygirl, we need a list of all antique book dealers and shops that sell old books. Pay special attention to those that deal a lot with Shakespeare.” Derek instructs. The sound of rapid typing then a beep follows.

“Ok, I’ve got around 78 bookstores and dealers that match that description. Anyway I can narrow that down for you?”

“Look at the men who have recently gone through divorce or have fallen on financial problems recently.” Rossi says into the phone.

More typing, then: “Ok, I’ve got three. A Joel Macpherson who runs an antique bookshop, Carl Thompson who specialises in selling first-edition Shakespeare and to complete this triad of potential mass murders is Leopold van der Fell. His shop is on the other side of town and he runs a book club that exclusively reads Shakespeare."

“Send us the addresses please, baby girl.” Derek says and Garcia scoffs.

“Oh, yee have little faith. They’re already on your phones.” On more thank you and Hotch scans us.

“Rossi, you and Derek speak to Joel Macpherson. Reid, take Natalie and see Leopold. Emily and I will visit Carl Thompson.” Without a second word, everyone begins filing out of the room and into their respective cars.

Spencer looks at me and sighs. “Let’s get this over with.”

I roll my eyes and make my way to the car, hopping into the drivers seat.

“You sure you’re okay to drive?” Spencer asks as he gets in the passenger side.

“My god! Can I not do anything without you questioning me?” I cry, turning in my seat to face him. He stares at his hands.

“I meant that seeing that inside probably shook you up. I don’t want you driving if your head is elsewhere.”

I’m taken aback by his thoughtfulness. I swallow loudly and put the car in park, backing out of the driveway.

“I could use the distraction.” I answer after a stretch of silence.

I see him nod out of the corner of my eyes. “Okay, I get it.”

I allow myself to relax in my seat. “Thanks.” I mutter.

“But if you crash because you’re distracted, don’t say I didn’t want you.” He adds.

“There’s the asshole I know and love.” I turn the radio on and drown out his response. “Now, shut up and give me directions.”

2 notes · View notes

tluohsalohcin · 4 years ago

Text

Coming back to tumblr just so I can drain my anger but still keeping myself anonymous.

Apparently, it doesn't matter how much my film professors keeps telling me and my women classmates that the industry is so misogynist and that we need to change it asap by raising our voices and giving our best to provide great content to inspire next generations of women.

Yet, after we submitted our scripts to get approved by our academy to film next year, from 9 scripts (7 girls and 2 boys), only 3 got approved. All girls. No yay at all and I will explain

From those scripts approved, just one is pure gold and I stand by it and I'm really proud. The other 2? Apparently, a clear ripoff of Interestellar is way more original than the rest of the scripts. Apparently, having a documentary with no real protagonist nor line to follow is somewhat mindblowing. These two projects submitted have something in common: the "masterminds" behind them are considered "hot girls". Even the professors labelled them as hot girls (which, by the way, that's not their job and, also, fucking gross).

These "hot girls" have survived the whole four years of college getting high notes and receiving many considerations from the professors for being pretty. Meanwhile, the rest of us girls have to work our asses everyday just to get our short films "a little above average" at least.

While we were suffering just to get a C in photography classes, waking up at 5am to get in time to class because the professor would close his door at 6:55 am and not let anyone after that time to come in, even if the class officially started a 7am, the "hot girls" didn't even show up to class that whole semester, but somehow managed to get an A+ just by doing a video explaining the terms we saw the whole semester. Another girl worked her ass up everyday and the professor made her repeat the same class for two semesters because "she didn't seem to get it right".

So, apparently, in order to get accepted in the film industry as creators and change the course for next generations to women, we have to be pretty by men standards today.

Will I give up after all of this? HELL. NO.

I've never liked the idea of doing something to prove anyone wrong. I'm the kind of person who will do things to prove themselves. Somehow, this situation just made me consider that proving others wrong may be the perfect argument just to push myself and prove me that I can be and get way better as a screenwriter.

9 notes · View notes

skyfrost-nail-kincare · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! I'm a Luna Lovegood and I was hoping for a tarot reading for my relationship with my Harry Potter? I think we were either in a relationship or I at least had a one-sided crush on him? Not entirely sure which but there was some romantic involvement somewhere 😅 Not sure if you need more information than that but that's all I really remember so far

ooOOO ok ok!!!! i can work w this--i’m not entirely educated on the actual canon (and my timeline was SUPER divergent, even for noncanon standards) but i think i have enough general information at my disposal to read this at least halfway accurately !!!!

below the cut i’m gonna do my relationship spread that i always do for tarot readings!!!

- mod hellbent [???]

alright!!! i’m sure you’ve seen me do this spread before, but i’ll do a little explaining anyway. you get three cards explaining your side of the story, harry gets three explaining his side of the story, and then there’s one that brings you two together and tells about your dynamic, basically.

the sides of the story can be anything, really! it can be a flaw or weakness, a strength, or just a simple feeling you may have had towards the situation at hand! anyway, let’s go!

your cards:

card 1: the five of wands tells me that you may have felt like you were competing for harry’s affections, particularly with one other person--you had a rivalry. i’m not sure who that might’ve been, but you two were at each other’s throats, it seemed. even if not physically, there were some harsh words likely thrown around when harry wasn’t in audible proximity.

card 2: the five of cups says you may have lost this rivalry, maybe the other party ended up confessing first or getting him or whatever, and you weren’t completely torn up or angry or pissed or anything like that. you were likely just disappointed, which is understandable.

card 3: the nine of pentacles tells me that you worked harder after that happened, and you reaped rewards of some sort from your hard work. i can safely say this was you working harder in your classes and becoming more independent. maybe you had a realization that you didn’t need him?

harry’s cards:

card 1: i got justice reversed, which means that harry must have been dishonest and unfair morally. he never was held accountable for anything he did wrong, but i think maybe that was covered up by him saving the school multiple times. however you slice it, though, he wasn’t an honest guy.

card 2: this card, the knight of cups, tells about a messenger of romance and adventure. this very much sounds like him to me, and maybe that’s why you were attracted to him? he was very passionate about everything he did, and that was probably the only honesty he had going for him.

card 3: the five of pentacles is about insecurities. i think the reason he was so dishonest was because he was insecure about his past, and how boring everything was compared to most of the others who were raised with other wizards around. that’s what this card tells me, anyway.

your dynamic card:

card: the reversed eight of wands means that you two had to do a lot of slowing down to communicate. you were both very quick-paced, it seems, but you were on different pages of the book you were supposed to be reading together, if that makes sense as a metaphor. you needed to slow down and regroup so that you could work things out with each other, and this proved to be a frustrating obstacle.

one thing that stood out to me in this reading was that there were three fives, which means conflict in the context of this reading. the rivalry must have been widely known, in that case? maybe harry was oblivious to it, or maybe he felt like he had to make a choice asap?

i’m hoping that sounds about right!!! thank you for requesting!

#tarot reading #kin tarot reading

3 notes · View notes

badsext · 5 years ago

Text

The Substance of Love - Chapter 3: Klaus x Female Reader

Chapter 1 is here

Chapter 2 is here

Word count: ~ 1950

Warnings: This is where the tender, loving SMUT is.

_________________________________________________________

“So you finished it?,” Klaus inquired, his mouth full of instant noodles.

“Yeah”

“And….”

“Oh my god, it’s so epic. I never thought I’d root so hard for the antichrist….Heaven is full of hard ass warmongers…The devil is a deadbeat dad. That shit is priceless! And, of course, Azirafale and Crowley are so perfect together. I’d ship them.”

“I really like you, Y/N.“ Klaus said, his eyes focused on you.

"Aren’t you, uh?…You stammered.

"What?" He grinned, still staring and enjoying your embarrassment a little.

"I mean, I’m not completely…either, but I thought…” Your voice got caught in your throat and your cheeks grew hot.

“Never mind. What I meant to say is, me too, Klaus. I like you too.” You started frantically checking around the pillows on the couch. “Oh for fuck’s sake - Where is the remote? I still need to show you my favorite movie.”

“Since when do you swear this much?,” Klaus teased.

You bopped him in the face with one of the pillows then settled into a comfortable position.

“I guess the ghosts decided to give you a break, hu?”

“Oh no. We’re definitely not alone. It’s like listening to two or more conversations at once. My brother, Ben is here. He’s a real chatty bitch.”

“Is he the one with the…" You mime a creature bursting out of your chest.

Klaus laughed. “Yeah. You know he can see you.”

“Oh, right…I’m just saying ‘Aliens’ might not be the best choice of movies.”

Your phone buzzed with a text from Kendra. It said ‘call me - important.’

“Ooh. I’ve gotta make a quick call.”

“Alright, I’ll go outside for a smoke,” he said. You narrowed your eyes at him. “Just a smoke,” he assured you.

“Okay. Give me five minutes." Klaus shut the door and you turned your attention to Kendra.

"Hey Kendra, what’s so important?”

“Is Klaus there?" Her tone of voice made you nervous.

"He went out for a smoke, why?”

“I’m sorry I have to be the one to tell you this….She paused and took a deep breath. "Klaus and I have been seeing each other. I know you two are close. Has he mentioned it to you?

"Um, no." You reply, still processing the information.

"That’s what I was afraid of. I just hope he’s not giving you the wrong idea. He’s also been telling me things. He told me why you got fired from Mount Saini. I just wanted to warn you, before you got too involved. He’s not who you think he is, Y/N. Just be careful.

"Okay, I appreciate you telling me." You wiped the tears that had already formed on your face as Klaus opened the door. He noticed immediately that something was wrong.

"What is it? What happened?" He rushed over and tried to comfort you, but you just stared at the ground with your arms wrapped tightly around yourself, hurt but not wanting to confront him. You were embarrassed for thinking Klaus might have romantic feelings for you.

"I have a job interview in the morning. I think you should go,” was all you could manage to say without crying.

“Please tell me what’s going on,” he pleaded. His hands gripped the back of his neck and he looked as if he was about to cry himself. The more he insisted, the more you felt like you were being played. Kendra’s words still rang in your ears.

“I don’t owe you an explanation. Just get the fuck out,” you said, effectively ending the argument. Klaus searched your eyes for a compromise, but he found them unrelenting. Instead of slamming the door, as you may have expected, Klaus closed the door so carefully it barely made a sound, which was somehow worse. You started crying as soon as he was gone.

A few minutes into your breakdown, just as a headache was beginning to form, you went into the kitchen for some water and it dawned on you. Maybe Kendra was lying. Klaus looked genuinely confused and upset. After leaving your place, Klaus would have gone to Kendra’s or to the club to score drugs. If you found him at the club, that could mean he wasn’t with Kendra after all. It was worth a shot.

You headed downtown to the spot he always talked about in group, 'The Shark Tank.' You were so conflicted. Part of you wanted to find him there, suggesting that maybe he did have feelings for you and not Kendra. Another part of you was devastated to think of him using again and that you had something to do with it. You were so torn, you thought about buying some street pills and just getting high. This is the point when you would have called your sponsor, which reminded you that you needed a new sponsor ASAP.

Klaus’ description the club in group really flattered the place. It was actually a grimy hole in the wall, chock full of sweaty club kids. It would seem that at thirty, Klaus had outgrown it. But then there he was, leaning against the wall looking despondent. You were relieved to see him there, but still anxious about what you might learn. He looked up at you confused. The music was so loud you had to get close and practically yell into his ear.

“Did you take anything?" Klaus just opened his hand. In it was a standard little plastic baggie of amphetamines. He looked up at you, clearly feeling the blunt force of his emotions. He was clean.

"What stopped you?" You asked, wondering how he had the strength.

"I guess I didn’t want to disappoint you." The significance of this made your heart jump, but you couldn’t let it stop you from your purpose.

"Klaus, I have to ask you something."

"Please! I have to know what you’re mad about. I seriously have no clue.”

“Kendra knows about my past, not about my power, but she knows the reason I was fired from the hospital…You didn’t -”

“No, I didn’t tell her that! I wonder how she would-”

“You’re not sleeping with Kendra, are you?”

“God, no! I haven’t talked to her since the last NA meeting. She came onto me, but I wasn’t into it. I turned her down and she didn’t take it well, but I didn’t think she’d try anything like this,” Klaus replied, looking genuinely distraught.

You looked into those haunted green eyes and you knew you believed him. Klaus was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a liar. Kendra had raised some doubt during a moment of weakness, but she was manipulating you. You had real, tangible feelings for Klaus and it was time he knew it.

You held his head in your hands and kissed him delicately on the lips. Then you pulled back holding your breath for his reaction. A split second passed which felt like a millennia while he sorted his thoughts. Then he smiled, pulled you close, and kissed you with an intensity that affirmed everything you had hoped for. His passion persuaded you to move your body to the music with his. Dancing was something you had rarely, if ever done sober. But it felt so good to finally have your body pressed against his that the rhythm came naturally to you. His hands were wrapped around your waist and yours had found their way to the back of his neck. Klaus nuzzled into your ear and whispered, “Wanna get outta here?”

Buy the time you got to your apartment, you were so desperate for each other, you barely made it through the door without tumbling onto the floor. You each began shedding your clothes. Your eyes raked over his smooth skin and lean muscles, adding to the growing wet heat between your legs. He was likewise aroused by the sight of you removing your sundress. His tight leather pants were made tighter by the sight of your naked silhouette. You grabbed teasingly at his bulge while he explored your mouth with his tongue. “Let me help you with this,” you said into his lips, as your fingers fumbled with his fly. He trailed sensual kisses down your neck and shoulders.

When his pants fell down around his ankles he kicked them off then lifted you off the ground to straddle him. Your breath caught in you throat as he spun you around towards the bed. He put you down gently and trailed his fingertips softly through the hollow between your breasts, over the soft curve of your stomach, and down to your aching pleasure center. He looked into your eyes as his fingers danced and played with your sensitive flesh. You gasped and moaned, reacting to his subtle and not so subtle movements. He dragged his lips down to your breast and sucked your nipple into his mouth while he slipped his fingers into your tight wet void. You bucked forward and he swirled his thumb against your swollen bundle of nerves. There was no holding back, you came before you even realized what was happening, moaning and twitching and spasming around Klaus’ fingers.

“We haven’t even gotten to the best part,” he said, withdrawing his fingers and giving them a little taste.

You reached up, wrapping one hand gently around his neck and purred, “I need you now, Klaus.”

That was all he needed. You felt his throat muscles clench and his erection press harder against your belly. He slipped into you so easily and filled you completely. Then he began thrusting, grinding, and building friction exactly where you wanted it. Another orgasm pulsed through you, and Klaus watched your body arch and react. He cracked a proud little smile as he continued. After riding out your climax, you seized his shoulders and rolled on top of him. You wanted to make him feel the way he made you feel. You rocked your hips forward until he was buried to the hilt. You intuitively wrapped your hands around his neck and squeezed lightly as you bounced up and down. It wasn’t long before Klaus was bucking and releasing himself deep inside you.

“Wow, that was….”

“Um hm.”

You dismounted carefully and rested your head on the pillow next to him. You laid there together a moment, just catching your breath. He grabbed your hand and laced your fingers together.

“So, this is going to sound random …My father died a few weeks ago. You were still in rehab. I went back home for the funeral and saw all my brothers and sisters. It got me thinking.”

“Oh god, that’s right. I remember seeing it in the news. I’m so sorry, Klaus. I can’t believe I didn’t even acknowledge it.”

“Seriously, don’t worry about it…He will not be missed…The point I was trying to make is that if you’re interested, I ‘d like to take you home…to meet my family.”

“Oh my god, Klaus, yes!” You peppered his face with featherlight kisses, then you settled in behind him, one arm under the pillow and the other slung over his hip.

“Oh, wait. I really do have a job interview in the morning.” You suddenly remembered and leaned over to set your alarm. “And let’s confront Kendra at the next meeting. She shouldn’t get away with this shit and I’d love to know where she got her information.”

“Mmm,” Klaus writhed against you. “You’re sexy when you plot revenge.”

“Go to sleep,” you chuckled, kissing his curls.

Want more?

@moorehollandplz @helena-way07 @bubblyani @yeetskeetbuddy @zoemassingale @zohrayoung @ohyoubringmejoy @mywinterivy @waywardtrashfam @fiowersnack @becka1703 @zohargreeves @slutonside @klaushollandyoung @bekindbeslutty @hmblergah @justahufflebird @salty9winter9adult @kit-kat-is-me-lol @victor-criss-bish

#klaus x reader #klaus hargreeves imagine #klaus hargreeves X reader #klaus hargreeves series #klaus hargreeves angst #tua imagine #tua fanfic #tua smut #tua #robert sheehan imagine #tua series #The Umbrella Academy #umbrella academy imagine #robert sheehan x reader #number 4 #klaus hargreeves smut

118 notes · View notes

eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

Text

665.

1—are you moody in the morning? >> I can be. Sometimes I wake up and my mind immediately dives into rumination mode for some reason, and that kind of ruins the morning for me. It’s like my brain goes “hey, you’re defenseless and groggy, let’s just Fuck You Up On Purpose!” Thanks. 2—have you ever behaved like a stalker? >> No. 3—do you appreciate other people’s opinions? >> I appreciate most opinions. But some opinions, while I respect that a person may have them, and respect their freedom to have them, I just don’t want to hear. 4—does baby corn freak you out? >> No. I don’t really like it, though. 5—can you lie and keep a straight face? >> Probably.

6—have you ever feared for somebody else’s life? >> Maybe a long time ago. 7—do you prefer honesty, even when it hurts? >> I do prefer it, but I also prefer that people not intentionally be hurtful when they’re being honest. There’s a such thing as tact, and I for one know that it takes a bit of practice to learn, but... at least try. 8—have you ever consulted a psychic? >> No. 9—if yes, do you consider yourself a moron? >> Well, that’s fucking rude. 10—does the opposite sex’s bo turn you on? >> No one’s body or its odour turns me on. (Inworlders, don’t interact. This ain’t about y’all.) 11—have you ever stayed in a relationship out of habit? >> Yeah. Not a romantic one, but a lot of friendships formed by circumstance rather than genuine interest. 12—have you ever deliberately not told someone that they had something in their teeth? >> I mean, maybe. I don’t always care enough to make that step. 13—what was the best decision you ever made? >> Buying this absinthe. My brain did try to shame me for it because I’m not made of money, but I refuse to let it win. Life is a fuck and this Sparks Joy, fuck off. 14—do you have a father- or mother- complex? >> Well, yeah, considering I was abandoned by one and emotionally neglected by the other. 15—if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be? >> I don’t know. Most of the pet names I’ve encountered didn’t suit me. Most of them make me feel infantilised and that’s not a comfortable or affection-generating feeling... 16—have you ever masturbated while driving? >> Regular brain: “are you fucking kidding me lmao that’s extremely unsafe” Kink brain: “man I fucking love Crash (1996) dir. David Cronenberg” 17—how do you feel when someone takes the last of something? >> If it’s something I wanted, I hate it, duh. But most of the time they didn’t know I wanted it and didn’t do it to spite me, so I have to keep that in mind. 18—how do you feel when people tell you “bless you” or “gesundheit” when you sneeze? >> I don’t really register it, tbh. I never say it myself, so it doesn’t strike me as a particularly important gesture. I still say “thanks” because that social script is built-in, of course (and because I understand that people follow that social standard to be polite, so I’m acknowledging that). 19—what are you supposed to say when somebody coughs? >> Nothing. Unless you have cough drops on you and you want to offer one, I guess. 20—do you care what’s going on in the world? >> I mean, I’m sometimes interested, but I’m not going to obsess about it. 21—do you pronounce a second “r” in “sherbet” or an “r” in wash? >> No, I don’t have that particular accent. 22—do you throw temper tantrums? >> I have meltdowns, and people who are unfamiliar with neurodivergence / complex trauma response might interpret them as “temper tantrums”. Which is fine to me, because honestly, the internal mechanisms between a toddler having a tantrum and me having a meltdown are actually pretty similar -- we are overwhelmed by things in our environment that we cannot control and we do not have the internal resources to modulate our emotional response. The difference between a toddler and me is that a toddler, raised in a healthy environment, will likely develop those resources organically, over time -- while I am responding abnormally for my age because my development was not healthy. 23—have you ever committed a violent crime because of a video game or rap song? >> No. 24—have you ever actually overheard one of your friends talking shit about you? >> Probably. 25—how many partners is too many? >> That depends on the people involved. It’s not something I should be judging on behalf of anyone else but myself. (I don’t know how many is too many for myself, for the record. Right now, one is enough because I’m still working through a lot of disordered attachment and intimacy issues.) 26—do you know what the “myspace angles” are? >> Yeah, I remember that. 27—is tom still your friend? if yes, why? >> I never kept Tom as a friend. 28—do you have a sponge frog next to your sink? >> A what? Because if this means just... a sponge shaped like a frog, we need to get one ASAP. 29—do you believe that wearing an aluminum foil hat will stop the government from reading your thoughts? >> I mean, I assume the government isn’t reading my thoughts. They don’t need to -- I’m a resident of the Internet, they can just interpret my data like they do with everyone else’s. 30—would you rather have a hook for a hand or a peg leg? >> No. 31—do you tip the carhops at sonic? >> I’ve never interacted with this element of Sonic. I’ve only been to Sonic once, and I was not in a car. I did find the overall interface there to be a bit confusing, ngl. 32—have you gotten drunk specifically to lower your inhibitions? >> Yeah, definitely. 33—how close does someone have to be for you to feel obligated to wait and hold the door for them? >> Pretty close. It’s awkward for both people when someone’s far away from the door and someone else holds the door for them. Like, neither one of us is going to die if you just let the door go and let me get there on my own time. 34—do you give “breaks” to people who don’t deserve them? (i.e. are you a sucker?) >> I used to, and now I’ve flipped to the other end of the spectrum, which isn’t great either. Trying to slide down into the middle -- not a pushover, but not cutting everyone off at the slightest perceived error either. 35—have you ever been walked in on? >> Yeah. 36—honestly, do you think you’re better than everyone? >> No, my problem is the opposite problem. 37—what do you take to a pot luck? >> I don’t know, I’ve never been to a potluck. When we went to the NYE party at Lauren’s place, Sparrow made gumbo and we brought that. My contribution was a 6-pack of pear cider... yeah, I think that’s my thing. I bring the good booze. 38—do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose? >> Yeah, man. It’s gross to me too -- you know, me, with my extreme issues with being organic -- but you can learn a lot from the consistency of the crap that comes out of your body. 39—how do you know when you are an adult? >> Well, as long as we continue to eschew traditional rites of passage, we’ll never know. 40—what is your cure for the hiccups? >> I don’t have a cure, my hiccups go away on their own pretty quickly. But now I’m reminded of that Grey’s Anatomy plot where Meredith’s half-sister’s mother died of the hiccups. (Well, there was more to it than that, but that’s the funny interpretation.)

#surveys #survey #random survey

2 notes · View notes