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ionlyjoinedforstuffilike · 3 years ago

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Anything to Win

Pairing: Dark!Andy Barber x F!Reader, Neal Loguidice x F!Reader

Word Count: 3100

Summary: After you walk out on your newly ex-boyfriend Neal, you unexpectedly meet up with your old work colleague Andy.

Rating/Warning: Explicit, 18+ only, sexual content, p in v sex, unprotected, spitting (just a tad), work place relationships, dub-con, Neal's an asshole and so is Andy.

Please do read warnings. This is a dark fic with dub-con themes. Be responsible for your own content consumption.

Neal and Andy's relationship had always been complicated.

Neal admired how Andy had carved out his career from nothing, his ease and command in the courtroom, his unmatched success. When Andy had offered tips to improve, Neal gobbled them up egarly - Andy Barber collegue, mentor, friend.

He wanted to be just like Andy.

Of course there was jealousy, at first it was all very healthy, all part of the game but as time wore on and Neal was still stuck playing second fiddle the jealousy turned to animousity. Neal had earned his dues. Earned the respect which he felt no one showed.

It was plain for all to see, particularly you. You had joined the department around the same time, work regularly together all three of you, and Neal was not a closed book (a major part of his problem in the courtroom, though you'd never say). Beside all that, he told you. Moaned every time Lynn Canavan doled out assignments giving the best to Andy. Sulked at after works drinks, when the office would toast Andy's success. Grumbled now eating post coital pizza in his boxers, when his concerns should have been firmly put to the back his mind.

You looked over at him, stuffing his face with the deep pan, red sauce and a string of mozzarella hanging limp on his chin. You wouldn't mind so much after all it's part of dating hearing your partner vent about their work, except it was all he ever did. It was always the same, you heard no new arguments or evidence of Andy's crimes against Neal but he would not let it drop. You wouldn't mind so much if he actually channeled his anger to fuck you senseless instead of leaving you unsatisfied dripping with his cum. You weren't bitter he hadn't made you orgasm, more that you didn't remember the last time he had or more importantly the last time he even bothered to check.

You'd been dating quietly for a couple of years, the not so secret office romance, you never meant for it to be serious but you used to enjoy his company. Neal had always been an arrogant sonofabitch but you'd be lying if it wasn't part of the appeal - he'd persued you, cocky and self assured and that confidence was alluring. Yes he was an asshole but not to you, he be crude and crass to others than sweet when alone, hell even throw in a little charm. And the sex wasn't always bad - Neal was big guy, fit, add in the sexiness of keeping it all hush hush, it was a good mix. You never envisioned him as 'the one', saw clearly his flaws but honestly it was convient and practical. Better Neal's flaws than weeks of dating perspective lovers before they rattled their hidden skeletons, better than unsolicited dick pics or the general chaotic minefield of dating - frankly who had the time or engery. Neal was a decent guy, good job, own teeth/hair, liked you and actually understood and supported your career, after all it mirrored his. Yes Neal had appeal, but now you thought the relationship had finally run its coarse. Things had changed between you but then things had changed for everyone.

"I can't believe you can be so cruel."

"How's it fucking cruel, that little sociopath got off scottfree and Barber is gloating! Tell me, how am I supposed to be happy?"

"Don't you have any compassion for the man? You worked with him for years and you make it out like he's concocted the entire trail to spite you. Like it's just some big game and you're pouting because you lost."

"Pouting?" He threw the pizza crust in the box and pointed at you, "why are you defending him?"

"I'm not defending anyone, I'm saying you have to feel for the guy, everything he went through, is going through."

"He's underhand, he'd do anything to win."

You scoffed, Neal catching the irony of his statement.

"Of course he would. It's his son, it's not just some defendant to him."

"He loved getting the better of me," a smirk twisted at Neal's lips, "Cold as that killer kid of his."

"Jacob isn't a killer," it was his turn to scoff, "he isn't, he was acquitted remember?"

It was a low blow reminding him of his lost but it was no use, he couldn't see his own coldness and how off putting it truly was.

You glared at each other, it was impossible to move past it, you thought when the trial was over he'd move on but all you saw was more and more ugliness. You snatched your skirt from chair and began to dress, grabbed your purse and stuffed it with belongings, you could stay a minute longer.

Neal took another piece of pie and lay back on the bed, reclining, smug in his white boxers - you leaving meant he'd got the better of the argument, he'd won, that's what was important not the fact he had lost you in the process.

"You really think Andy deserves all this sympathy?"

Turned to him, mouth open, "Yes. How can you not, his family have been torn apart by Patz as much as the Rifkins."

"His family torn itself apart. What I mean is you think he'd fight your corner? If it was the other way round do you think he be throw his life away for you?"

You placed your hands on your hip, "My life away? Don't flattered yourself. And do I think he stand up for a friend? Yes, yes I do."

"Then you are as fucking stupid as the jury." He stood, walked over, you stood firm as he placed his hands on top of shoulders, his half eaten pizza parcurioualy close to your unbuttoned silk shirt. Eyes softened, head titled, he looked at you as if some pathetic creature, somthing to feel sorry for, "Andy always plays the game, that's why he is so good. He's shrewd and only supports those that give him an advantage."

"How are you so cynical? He supported you as much as me."

"He supported us so he could bask in our success because that was his, his little pets that do well under his guidance but never as well. After all there's only room for one at the top."

You rolled your eyes and left the argument and Neal behind.

---

You hadn't intended to go to the office but your fight with Neal made you reassess your plans.If you grabbed your files, you could work from home for a couple of days, schedule meeting with witnesses and law enforcement and avoid the place (and Neal) entirely for a spell, or at least until you cooled off. Maybe it was childish but experience had shown that sometimes a little distant helped, and you couldn't risk any unprofessionalism at work. People knew about you and Neal but it was all unoffical, little more than rumour, you had never allowed your relationship to interfer with your job, and you weren't going to now. No best to grab the files and lay low.

The offices were empty, the rooms dark and locked, the noise of your heels echoed the empty hallway, the only person you expected to see was the security guard at the front desk who nodded as he checked your ID.

You reached your floor and were just about to unlock the door when you noticed the light bleed from one further down. The golden beam drawing your attention, the promise of the occupier more so - for you knew whose office it was.

You turned the handle and let the door to Andy's office fall open, and sure enough the tall brooding figure stood before you. His back to you, he wore a thick, dark wool jacket, loading items in to a box. He turned his head at the sound of the door, gave a nod to acknowledge you but no smile.

You leaned against the door frame, "I didn't think I'd see you here."

"Didn't think I see anyone," he returned, his voice husky, flat.

You give a small smile, it pleased you somewhat that he, like you, had concocted a similar plan, and that neither of you had gotten away with your stealthy scheme. "I mean I thought you'd collected everything."

It was true when he and Laurie had plans to move away you were sure he'd requested to gather his belongings.

"Not everything," he voice still betraying no emotion, he kept his back turned, shoulders hunched.

You moved to the desk, perched on the edge so that you could see his face, "You okay?"

His blue eyes flicked up and burned into yours - of course he wasn't okay!

"I'm sorry. How is Laurie? Jacob? We are all praying they get better."

"Are you?" His forehead creased questioning your concern, an accusation though he let it drop, "They're the same, no change which I guess is better than the alternative." He shrugged, "Why are you here so late?"

"Preemptive avoidance."

"Of?"

"You need to ask?"

"No guess not, can't imagine Neal's in the best mood."

"That's an understatement, he's taking all this as some personal insult. You know how he hates to lose."

"I don't feel like much of a winner."

"No, I know that's what I said. I mean I'm sure you're relieved..." you let your words trail, you hadn't intended to have a heart to heart, you hadn't figured you'd see him at all. You wanted to acknowledge his hurt though didn't feel adept or close enough to navigate the complexity that was now Andy Barber's life.

"You'd think Neal'd be happy now I'm out the way, he'll be top dog. Lynn's go to guy."

"He thinks it's by default," you mused.

"Oh that'll piss him off." And for the first time Andy smiled. A grin cracking through bleakness, right then you realised he had got a kick from beating Neal. A thrill from the game.

"Oh my god he was right!"

"What?" He was staring at you again, his lips a tight thin line.

"You have to always be right. You live for the win."

"I meant that I'm happy he's put out, he's hardly been a good friend lately." Andy's tone an attempt to make you doubt yourself but it's too forced and made you see Andy in a new light, not in a green glow of envy, it was harsh, cold truth.

"No, guess not." You found yourself once again not wanting to argue and remove yourself from a man in your life, you stood fixed your purse on your shoulder to leave. Before you reached the door, Andy closed it. He'd beaten you to the exit, shut it firmly so that both it and his arm barred your path.

"Where you going?"

"Home, so if you don't mind," you did your best to sound confident but your stomach had already begun to knot.

"You don't want to talk so more?" Andy's head tilted, his eyes fixed, a dangerous curve at his lips.

"I don't think so."

You moved for the handle but Andy refused to budge, the only movement the shake of his head.

"Look at you so fucking righteous, up there on your high horse looking down at me, at Neal because we got drive. But then again you never really had to fight for what you have."

"That's not-" though you didn't get chance to finish, not that Andy wouldn't have listened even if you had.

"You're all superior but you're no better. You want it too - to win, to be the best. No? Tell me I'm wrong." Andy smirked at you, you stood before him pouting, arms crossed at your chest, "Thought not. Mean that's why you chose Neal right? The biggest fish, well available fish in this place...but if you had the chance at me you'd have taken it. You'd have gone for the bigger prize."

"No," you shook your head though your voice was merely a whisper.

"Bullshit. All the times you flirted with me...late nights in here wearing see-through shirt...lacy bra...leaning in close. You wanted it. Flirted with danger but just too scared to take it. That's why you'll never be great y'know, you never take the risk." Andy had let go of the handle, he still blocked your exit but now moved close to you. Close enough that you could feel his breath as he spoke, his hooked finger brushing down your cheek, resting under your chin before forcing you to look him in the eye. "But how about now? You're here, I'm here. It never seemed worth it before, but after what Laurie did. So, here I am, yours for the taking."

Your face burned at the memory of your behaviour, as a reaction to his. You tried to step back but Andy's arms reached around you to hold you in place. Your bodies pressed together, his heat and firmness flush against you.

"Want to fuck a real man not someone always a step behind?"

Placing your hands on his chest you pushed away, stumbling when he released you. Andy's smile now wide, he took off his jacket as he stepped closer once more. Every step he took forward, matched with one you took back, till your ass hit the desk and blocked your retreat. Andy laughed.

"Andy please," you begged. You wanted to leave, you were scared. Scared of his behaviour, scared of the truth. Not only of Andy but yourself. He had been right, how often had you stayed behind just to have a moment alone with him? How many times had you 'accidentally' brushed past him, pressing your body to his? Bent over allowing him a better view of your clevege or the fullness of your ass? It was playful but you hadn't realised how dangerous the game was.

Andy continued to stalk forward, until you were trapped tight between the desk and him, purposely pressing his groin to you, the unmistakable feeling of an erection.

"So how about it? Or maybe I just take what I want anyway." He laughed at the panic that flashed across your face, "It won't come to that you're going give it to me anyway." And with that he kissed you.

Andy lips pressed firmly against yours, the pressure bruising your own, your teeth threatening to puncture the flesh unless you responded. You opened your mouth, allowing his tongue access, Andy hungrily devouring you. His large hands around your neck, his fingers tightening as he pulled you to him, deepening the kiss. You should've fought him off, slapped his face or scratched his skin but you did neither, instead your hands found his face, caressed his wiry beard and carded through his dark hair.

Andy's hands roamed your body, quickly smoothing over your shoulders ridding you of your jacket and purse, then ripping the silk shirt, the delicate buttons pinging across the room. Groping and squeezing your breasts, you should have screamed for help instead you whimpered, overwhelmed by passion. Andy tugged at your skirt till it was rumpled at your waist, lifted you so the the desk was cold and hard under your ass, heat spreading throughout, smothering reserve and doubt.

Once perched on the empty desk, your legs spread to accommodate him, his hands left you unbucking his belt and pushing his trousers down, his hard cock springing free. You realised how you're desperate for him to touch you again, desperate to have him. Andy lips broke free, his eyes dark with lust.

"Spit," he commanded holding his hand to your mouth. You did as told, shame interrupting desire. His now wet hand pumping his cock and spreading slickness, before brushing the tip along your cunt, the strip of lace that was your only modesty yanked aside. He laughed again at how wet you were for him, how pathetic and needy. It was so obvious that Andy was reveling in the win - that he finally felt free to claim a coveted prize, that he was landing another blow to Neal's delicate pride, that he completely in control of you, you completely at his mercy.

Shunting forward, you couldn't contain a wail as Andy's cock split you open. You're wet but not fully ready, though you wonder if anything could have prepared you for his size. There's little time to adjust, Andy thrusting immediately, setting a frantic pace. He grabbed at your fleshy thighs, lifting it higher allowing him to go deeper, his fingers digging into your skin as his mouth reattached itself to you, though now he concerntrating on your neck, down to your collar bone. It's not simply the soft lips and scratch of beard but the hot slap of tongue and the graze of teeth - between his hands and mouth you're sure you'd been marked, confident you'd see the evidence of Andy's conquest for days, confident you'd feel it too.

Andy's movements a little chaotic, making you wonder if he too was simply at the mercy of his desire until one hand moved to your shoulder, his palm at the top so his thumb on your throat. He pushed you forward, stopped when you understood his intention. You lay back on the empty desk, Andy loomed over your exposed form, his cock still buried deep in your cunt, his shirt dishevelled but still covering him. Andy's hand swept down from your shoulder to your naked chest, began to grab again, holding fistful of flesh. There's no sweet caresses but when he pinched your nipples, your pussy clentched around him.

Smugness spread across his face. Andy's pace slowed, his cock ploughing forward forcing your body down into the cold wood beneath before retreating for mere seconds only to return and fuck you again. As one hand played with your tits, the thumb of his other found your clit. Andy seeking more pleasure by ensuring yours. His thumb strumming the sensitive nub, sending sparks throughout your body, your pussy clamping around Andy's shaft as he continued to thrust. Harder, deeper. His blue eyes watching you splayed out on the desk before him, your back arching when you came, Andy fucking you through it, faster and faster till his cock swelled, stiffened and spilled inside of you.

Andy's head dropped, hiding his face though the shake of his shoulders and sound of his chuckle unmistakable - savouring the physical ecstasy, gloating at his win. For he had won, gotten everything he wanted - or so you thought but the game wasn't yet over.

#chris evans #andy barber #andy barber x reader #defending jacob #neal loguidice #pablo schreiber #andy barber x female reader

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optimistic-dinosaur-nacho · 5 years ago

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Full of Guilt

Andy Barber x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Overdose, Mentions of Murder, Language, Suicide, Mentions of Rape Summary: Andy is being asked about his daughter who was suspected for a murder. With the questions Mr. Logiudice asks. Andy makes irrational decisions.

Author’s Note: This is full of sadness and please note about this. We all have demons and we’re all willing to shush them and fight them.

~~~

This was a few weeks after Y/N’s second trial.

Andy hadn’t reached for the glass of water on the table. He didn’t need it. But it was welcoming him to take it. His arms still fold in front of him as his head hung low over the table.

The large windows shined through the room with the gloomy sky as people whispered to his left.

Neal Logiudice stood in front of him, holding papers as he sat on the table in front of Andy’s table.

Neal looks up, “Mr. Barber, could you describe us what happened few weeks after Y/N’s arrest?”

Andy leans over and sighs, “Well, I think it started with a Sunday. Then a Monday,” Andy breathes softly, “Pretty sure a Tuesday came next.” Neal rolls his eyes as the audience chuckled a little.

He looks back, “But what I mean, Andy, is what was the atmosphere of your home? What was it after?”

“The atmosphere?” Andy asks, ready to answer stupidly again. Neal sighed, “Oh, God...”

Andy looks up, “Just make me say what you want me to say, Neal. It’s not that hard. You wanna know if Y/N seemed guilty. Have the balls to ask.” Neal looks over and drops the file on the table. “Okay. Did she?”

Andy lowers his head, “I have no idea.”

“How was Y/N feeling after? Before she...” Neal stops from there as Andy shakes his head.

“She was quiet,” Andy said, he goes back to the days, “We gotten her a tutor for those last 8 weeks, happened to be her second grade teacher. Thought it’d be less awkward.”

“Did it?” Neal asked.

Andy sighs, “A little.” Neal goes through the papers and clears his throat. “Can you tell me how she got the propofol? Did you have it around the house?” Neal asked folding the paper and placed it down.

“We didn’t have that medication in our home,” Andy replies. “But Duffy have proven to see pills in the master bathroom,” Neal said. Andy shakes his head.

“Those weren’t it, I’m sure she bought them from a friend,” Andy says. Neal nods at him, “So she had friends?” He asked. “My God, Neal-Yes, she did.”

“Was Ben Rifkin a friend to her?”

“No. From what we heard from her, no. He bullied her. The name-calling,” He said. Neal folds his hands in front of him, “Name-calling. What names?”

“I don’t know. Usual names.”

“Did he call Y/N a whore?” Neal asked, Andy looks up. He didn’t know that, but he nods, “Yes.”

“More than once?” Neal asked.

Andy looks up to Neal, “That’s my understanding.” Neal looks through his notes again and sighed.

Andy had gotten back after doing short errands for Laurie. His wife was going to work as he helped a little to grab a few things. He was texting Y/N to set up the table for dinner as he went to run those errands.

After an hour, he got back into his car and drove. He texted Laurie he was done and was heading back home. He dropped his phone in the cup holder and continued back home.

A few days after Y/N’s arrest, she wasn’t herself. She was quiet, barely ate at the table. Andy tried to crack a few jokes but she never smiled. He started to feel a bit shut out.

She surrounded herself with walls and showed no emotion since her arrest. Laurie was somewhat frustrated by that. The family was moody at home. Everyone began to shut each other out sometimes. Though, Laurie didn’t like being shut out, she always spoke to Andy.

Y/N wasn’t herself no more.

It worried him.

He got home and walked in, throwing his coat off. He walked into the kitchen and looked over to the table. It wasn’t set. “Y/N,” Andy calls, he walks over to the stairs and peaked up, “Y/N!”

He doesn’t hear her so he walks up the stairs and over to her door. He peaked in and saw her in bed. She had fallen asleep. Her head was under the blankets. Music playing softly as he sighed and closed her door.

She must’ve stayed up late so he heads down the stairs and did some dishes for Laurie.

After a few hours, Laurie had gotten home and they ate alone in the living room. Y/N was still asleep. It was so long for Y/N to be sleeping on their part. Laurie knew how hard it was for her.

They head upstairs to go into her room. Laurie comes over to Y/N’s side of the bed and sat down. “Honey?” She reaches over and Andy realizes, Y/N’s in the same position.

Laurie’s eyes widen as she tugs the blanket back and pillows were lined up to form a body.

Andy peaks down the hall, “Y/N?”

Laurie stands up, “Where is she?” Andy rushes into their bedroom and looks in his closet and the bathroom. He leaves and heads over to the hall bathroom and he turns the knob.

“This is locked,” He said, Laurie rushes over and knocks, “Y/N? Honey! Unlock the door.”

“Y/N, open the door!” Andy shouts, he slams his shoulder into the door. Laurie pulls a hand to her mouth. Andy slams his shoulder into the door again and it doesn’t budge. “God damn it,” He looks up to the top of the door frame and reaches for the small ledge to pull out a small key.

“Y/N!” Andy unlocks from the outside and barges in. Laurie gasps and Andy rushes over. “Y/N!”

Andy shook his head as he lowers it. Those sirens blaring through his mind again as he inhales shakily. Neal looks over with determination, “Has Y/N ever been threatened to kill herself?” He asked.

Andy looks up, completely angered by that. “Everywhere on social media, yes.” Neal looks over to the crowd, “Can you describe on that day you found her?”

Andy kept his head low as he spoke, “I thought she was sleeping in her bed. Around nine, we went to check up on her and she had locked herself in the bathroom.”

“Do you know how long she had been there?”

Andy shakes his head, “I left around 11 in the morning, came back at 12. I remember seeing her after I left. She must’ve been there for almost 10 hours,” He said.

“Can you describe what you saw?”

“Why would I want to describe the worst thing that could ever happen to me?” Neal shrugs at his question, “I had the balls to ask it. You should.” Andy shakes his head.

“She was... laying in the bath tub... Pills were spilled on the ground. About 5 or 6 of them.”

“Were they the propofol pills?” Neal asked. Andy nods, “Yes.”

“Did they have a name on the bottle?” Neal asked. Andy sighs, “The name wasn’t on there, it was a clean white bottle with the print of the medication.”

“What happened after you found her?”

“Oh, my god!” Laurie chokes a sob as Andy kicks the pills as he comes over to his daughter. “Laurie, call the ambulance! Call!” Laurie looks at Andy as he turns. “Honey, go!” His wife runs out of the bathroom as he quickly picks the 14-year-old up.

He grunts as he carries her down the stairs. He placed Y/N on the ground and reaches for her neck. She’s not breathing. He turns her onto her side as Laurie held the phone to her ear.

“What are you doing?” Laurie asked, Andy looks up, “Laurie, call them.”

“I am!” She covers her mouth as Andy placed his fingers under Y/N’s jaw. “Fuck...” He lays her on her back and placed his hands on her chest. “Laurie, look away,” Laurie sobs as she does and Andy immediately starts CPR.

He chokes on his sob as he pinches her nose and puffs air into her lungs. “Come on, Y/N,” He continues to press.

“Hello? Yes, I need the ambulance. Our daughter might have overdosed... Yes, he’s doing that now. Thank you... yes, I’ll leave it unlocked.” Laurie rushes over to the front door and unlocks it.

Andy groans, “Come on, Y/N!” He shouts. He puffs more air into her lungs. He started to shake above her in fear. Shock. He chokes again. “Come on! Come on!”

Laurie covers her mouth.

“Y/N!”

Neal lowers his head and picks at his nails, “The ambulance came. So what happened after that?” Andy sighs and leans forward. “After that, we stayed with Y/N.”

“The doctor’s said she was in a coma.”

Andy sighed, “Her blood levels were low and they said they could support her so much. We stood with her.”

“Why do you think Y/N did this?” Neal asked, Andy shakes his head and turns to the right. Neal lifts his head, “Andy.”

“I don’t know...Maybe because people told her to.”

“Do you think she overdosed because she knew she did it-?”

“Don’t bring that shit up, Neal. You should know what happened to her and why she had been quiet this whole fucking time.” Neal looks over the papers and folded his arms.

“Some doctors said she showed signs of sexual assault. In her phone we saw the texts from Ben Rifkin. He asked her for pictures,” Andy looks up at Neal as Neal reads the pictures printed on the paper.

“What are you saying, Neal? The pervert asked for them, she’s mostly the victim here.”

“Well, pictures are somewhat harmful but very inappropriate. But first-degree murder is something else.”

“So that means both are victims and suspects.”

“You’re saying your daughter is a guilty-?” Neal asked.

“I’m just rephrasing what you’re saying because you don’t really rephrase things after,” Andy said. Neal puts down the papers and stands up. “Describe what it was like, sitting in your daughter’s hospital room. How did it feel? How do you and Laurie feel?”

Andy laced his hands together and sighed.

“We felt like we were chained. This heavy weight pulling us down.”

“What was the weight? Guilt?”

“Full of Guilt,” Andy replies, he turns his head, “From when she was arrested, she said she wasn’t the perfect kid. But to Laurie and I, she was. She was this happy three year old running around in the house. We thought as parents it wasn’t gonna be hard. After what Y/N did, we thought it was our fault. That we weren’t there for her.”

Neal looks over to the audience who listened to the mournful man.

“Now we feel like bad parents from the beginning. Didn’t love her enough. To have everything crush at her feet.” Andy shakes his head once again.

“So yes,” Andy looks up to Neal.

“I was full of guilt.”

~~~

I’m sorry, lads! I just need to stop with the sadness.

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