#nd i am so sorry idk what the hell this reply is like ...

[wildcarrdz]

         neon  curled  in  intricacy,  flashing  indication  of  what  spanned  beyond  a  threshold  beckoning  only  the  tempted  to  trespass  —  a  haven  for  the  hungry  (  leeches  with  penchants  for  prey  …  bodies  to  warm  beds  and  wallets  to  suck  dry  )  and  the  helpless  (  succumbing  to  a  devil  that  demand  they  dive  in  a  drown  ).  buzzing  gas  aglow  flickered  …  b-b-b-b-bar  —  a  fix  so  simple  but  remain  untouched  for  many-a-month.  another  ten  in  the  pocket  of  the  patron  loitering  outside,  ongoing  bet  still  in  her  favor so it seemed.  such  riches  to  be  earned  for  mindless  means  !  gaze  once  entranced  now  falling  to  face  the  music,  a  melody  so  enticing  yet  domino  wore  no sign  of  interest,  though  it  appeared  a wandering ear  did.  “  your  six.  ”  murmur  of  a  warning,  delayed,  thrown  at  the  beast  bearing  such  a  bite,  only  watching  as  an  obliterated  volunteer  snuck  up  behind  the  belligerent. yet  wind  swept  them  off  their  stumbling  feet  before action of any kind could ensue,  sent  them  plummeting  against  pavement —  fistful  of  fury  now  a  splayed  palm  of  pasting  as  they  lay  still. knocked themself right out ... such a cartoonish display.  “  one  …  ”  domino chimed,  like  that  of  a  ref  in  a  ring,  “  two  …  ”  a  step  toward  the  unconscious, gauging for any inkling of redemption,  “ three.  ”  final declaration concluded the 'fight' ( or the prelude of one, if anything ) “  congratulations you're a victor ! ” jovial praise shot at the challenger. “ and would  you  look  at  that,  you  even  earned  yourself  a  prize.  "  gleaming  beside  the  defeated:  a  tooth.  "  you  gonna  claim  it  or  what  ? think it would look good plated in gold or silver. you should, " hand rose, gestures quick over her own mug to reflect the blossoming black-and-blues on his. " doesn't look like you get too many wins ... " she teased.

𝗟𝗢𝘊𝘈𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕: outside the dive bar's parking lot, late night post fight. 𝗪𝗜𝘛𝘏: anyone it's an open starter baby !!

⠀#⠀        A    HELLHOUND    OFF    THE    leash,    just    for    tonight.    nothing    but    copper    scraps    and    freshly    earned    bruises    to    call    a    reward.    should    be    a    real    fuckin’    celebration    to    live    and    see    another    day,    can’t    help    the    anarchic    nihilism    that    bleaches    his    outlook,    (    childhood    sun  -  stained    bedroom    walls    and    the    notable    cross    shaped    𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐋𝐓𝐇    /    this    far    in    life,    intwined    anger    and    blood    inside    . . .    call    it    a    concrete    revelation:    you’re    fucked,    man.    )    doors    swing    wide    with    a    callous    push,    the    tips    of    his    nerves    fading    into    dreaded    obscurity.    terrible,    cheap    liquor    brings    the    best,    impulsive    ideas.    and    fuck,    he    needs    to    feel    alive    again    !    “    c’mon,    hit    me.    ”    spoken    as    a    sober    thought,    cacophony    of    limbs    jolt    with    drunken    brilliance,    “    what,    never    punched    a    guy    before    ?    shit,    tonight's    your    lucky    night,    isn’t    it    ?    so    t'fuck    you    waitin’    for.    hit    me.    ”  

[thisdreamplace]

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[iolite-ethereal]

Ok so starting around 9:10 or so tonight i almost died 3 times in the span of 5 to 10 minutes

Idk what it was that helped me be it sheer dumb luck or whatever but in the span of 10 minutes (at most. Likely less than that) i was both incredibly unlucky and incredibly fortunate. Pretty much I almost died 3 times within that 10 minute span.

I was trying to ride my bike home from work with a latte in hand, in the dark- and while i do have a proper light for night riding and i am able to ride with a drink in hand easily- tonight was not my night. Not even a block from my work, i managed to be blinded by oncoming headlights on the road to where i couldnt see a bump in the sidewalk that made my handlebars swerve unexpextedly, which startled me into pulling the breaks. On the ride to work i discovered that my handle bars were loose but i didnt have time to find a different ride, so when i hit the breaks the bars shifted down as i was pushed forward by momentum. I lost balance, and fell, latte in hand, left into the grass, which is more fortunate than right into oncoming traffic. I ended up only skinning my knee slightly and quite comically falling onto by back leading to pouring some of my latte right over the bridge of my nose and onto my face and eyes. Unharmed but shaken i gathered myself up, fixed my now twisted handlebars into at least managable condition, and attempted to carry on my way, only to almost get hit by a car speeding out of a nursing home driveway not 50 feet away from where i just fell. The driver didnt even give a shit and also i fucking hate tjat nursing home bc they thought it was a great idea to put tall shrubberies all around to the point where drivers cant see out into the road where they need to turn so they get impatient and zoom out without looking. But yeah car looked like it had already gotten hit from the side once and the whole time the driver was just lookin left and when they saw me we made eye contact and then they just kept going like bitch you /know/ what the fuck just happened, you can fucking /tell/ and you dont give a shit? I hope whoever you put in that poor nursing home os treated well and is dissapointed in you and your life choices and if you work there then i feel sorry for every one of your clients since you obviously dont care about people's well being jfc. And after that i decided to call it quits bc i can take a hint considering how hard i had to brake and shove my foot on the cement and swerve bc of that person so soon after wiping out so i texted my dad to come and get me. After he replied i decided to wait in the light of the large lamp hanging from the sidewalk entry of that stupid place bc tbh thats a decent spot to be. I was visible, and away from the splash zone of the puddle as well as the murder driveway of the nursing home. But qhile waiting i got worried about the idea that maybe something fell out of my backpack when i fell, so i turned on my phones flashlight and walked away from my bike, back across the hellish driveway, back along where i probably fell, and, seeing nothing, walked back. Of course on my way back across the driveway of evil a car decided to quickly turn into this dam thing and of course once again i am almost ran over. Honestly what the hell. I get the first time bc its a divided driveway so of course you cant see on the right turning out but turning in? The giant ass sign in the middle of it lights up the whole damn driveway! I was fucking VISIBLE. INARGUABLY. VISIBLE. WATCH WHERE YOU ARE FUCKING GOING. So in the nd i just stood on the sidewalk and waited for my dad to grab me and as i expected the normally impossible task of getting my bike in the car was made possible with my new magical posable handlebars and i got a ride home. And of course somehow getting the bike in the car jostled something too much and the damn mechanism got fucked so now the pedals turn without moving the chain. Hooray. Lovely.

In the end im left with a minorly broken yet inoperable bike, a tiny bit of skin shaved off but no blood lost, a surprisingly only slightly lighter latte cup, and a somewhat sore upperback. It was also kinda sprinkling so im suprised my clothes didnt get soaked sitting in the grass? Either way all that is better than a mangled leg or cracked skull, or getting hit by a car (or 2), or whatever the fuck else that was awaiting any more than half a block away from my work. Seriously im starting to think that if i hadn't stopped when i did then i was gonna actually get hit by a car or mugged on the way home or something. I feel like one of those cartoon characters that keeps having near misses with anvils and pianos and cliffs but is unscathed, thought this doesnt make me feel invincible but rather cautious. Anyway, good night to you all and i hope you have a better time than i did in your near future!

[isotuan]

Stupid (Yoongi/Reader Fluff)

Summary: It’s 2:45 am and Min Yoongi’s at your door. Stupid.

(( Note: Lol, hey guys... Guess who’s not dead. *Me (I think)* Sorry I went on hiatus out of nowhere :/ Can’t say that I’m back officially because like the last time I said that I was gone three months after (hehe). So I’m semi back I guess? I’ve been missing those active Tumblr days so much, I wish I can be on more, idk what will happen in the future but I’ll try my best to post more scenarios and just overall be more active :) HOPEFULLY SMH—Also I know nothing about piano/music writing, I apologize for any mistakes and please please listen to the song it’s really pretty ))

“Literally, what the hell.”

You stared at your best friend, completely dumbfounded by the fact that you were even staring at him considering that it was pitch black and cold as shit out. In other words, it was 2:45 in the morning and no other than Min Yoongi was standing there right in front of you, hands stuffed deep into his large coat along with a fluffy scarf wrapped countless times around his head, hot air from his mouth puffing out into the frozen winter air. 

Before you could utter another word, Yoongi was already shuffling into your apartment and settling down on the couch, murmuring some incoherent words into his scarf which covered half of his face. 

You huffed as you kicked the door shut and turned towards your friend with arm crossed over your chest and a glare that shot right at him, “what do you think you’re doing?”

“Me?” Yoongi tried to turn to you as he spoke but the barrier of wool proved the task impossible. He attempted to push the wall around his face down at which also proved to be impossible. You had to walk over and unwrapped the damn thing for him. When the gray knit was out of the way, it was then that you could see Yoongi’s tinted red face fully as he grinned slightly, “I’m here to hang.”

“‘To hang?’” To repeated the words you could not believe just came out of him. “You came here ‘to hang?’” 

“That’s what I said.”

“Yoongi,” you reached for you phone that was on the coffee table and turned the illuminated screen towards him. 

“Nice lock screen,” he simply commented and you wanted to knock him out right that second but you restrained yourself from doing so, instead you took a deep breath in and out before calmly telling him, “I'm going to bed, lock the door on the way out.”

“Fine, fine,” he spoke as you were just about to head back into your bedroom. “I’ll admit it’s late as shit and....”

“And…?” You stood to wait for him to continue,

“And that you get cranky as fuck when someone interrupts your sleep.”

With that, you spun back around not forgetting to give the man one last glare worth of ‘fuck you.’ You knew that Yoongi was a dick and you’d most definitely gotten more that used to it by now. But seriously. What. A. Dick.

Just as you were about to turn the knob of your bedroom, Yoongi’s annoying voice started once more, “I’ll make you food.”

“You suck at cooking,” you couldn’t help but bring up the fact. When you said that, you meant the words ‘Yoongi’ and ‘cooking’ do not belong in the same world.

“I’m better than you.” You couldn't rebuttal then, ‘Y/N’ and ‘cooking’ didn’t belong in the same universe. “I know you didn’t eat dinner.”

“How—”

“You had an all-nighter last night because of that test you had, you didn’t text me back when I texted you at five, meaning that sleep deprivation had already gotten the best of you by then. But you usually eat dinner at six-thirty; you haven’t eaten.” 

You chewed the insides of your cheek, hating the how much Yoongi knew about you, he would use everything against you. 

“You’re a heavy sleeper, but can’t go back to sleep for another six hours once you do wake up,” he looked up at you, smug. “And you’re here, awake.”

Literally everything.

“And if you do the math correctly, which you can’t because you suck at math,” he counted his fingers, oh so irritatingly. “You need my food to go into food coma or else you’re sleeping schedule will be all the way fucked up again.”

“I hate you,” you through your clenched teeth.

“Admit it, stupid,” he chuckled lowly, “You need me.”

He got up from his spot on the couch and stripped himself of his coat, leaving him with his a black turtle. “Now come along, I’ll make you some mediocre food,” he disappeared into the kitchen.

You couldn’t say that hated Min Yoongi most because there you were sat on the kitchen countertop, watching your ‘best friend’ cook at three in the morning—because hated the fact that you actually agreed to this ten times more. He opened just about every cupboard you have before gathering what seemed to be just about everything you owned in that kitchen: instant ramen, cheese, ham, and a wrinkly stalk of green onion. 

“Really?” He gave you a look.

“Really what?

“Remind me to drag you to the grocery store some point this week because what the hell have you even been eating this entire time?”

“Ooh! Take out from that one Chinese place I’ve been telling you about! Their food is the best, a little greasy, but so fucking good, I swear.”

He looked at you with distaste.

“What?”

He didn’t answer, only proceeded to turn the stove before placing a pot full of water on it. Once the water boiling, he ripped the pack of ramen and plopped in the brick of noodle, setting the seasoning pack and dried veggies to the side. And you stared at him as he cut the green onion with scissors (because you didn’t have an actual knife).

“Why ramen?” You asked him.

“Is that even a real question?” he asked with looking up but you could tell he was rolling his eyes. 

You huffed, “My face is going to get so bloated.”

“Y/N, your cheeks had been chubby since high school,” he narrowed his eyes at you. 

“That’s exactly my point,” you made a face. “My face is already naturally bloated, if I eat sodium at this time of night I’ll become a bobble head by dawn."

Yoongi stayed quiet for a bit before mumbling something incoherent under his breath at which you had asked him several times after to repeat but was ultimately denied with a ‘fuck off, stupid.’

He finished the ramen and the two of you went into your bedroom here you threatened to murder the man if he even gets a single spot on your white sheet. You put on a cheesy rom-com and laughed away as you devoured the bowl of sodium with Yoongi lying down on his stomach facing away from the tv screen because ‘rom-com's are stupid.’ It was half way through the movie that you finally finished bowl at which you asked your friend, with eyes still glued on to the screen, “Weren’t you going to have ramen? We were supposed to share.”

“Share my ass,” he scoffed. “You inhaled the entire thing already and you just asking me that now?”

“I’m sorry, I guess I was hungrier than expected. I can make you another bowl—” you said as you began to prop yourself up but was stopped by Yoongi's hand dragging you back down.

“Let’s not burn the building down today,” he said and you rolled your eyes.

You lay back down on the bed, this time tucking yourself into the warm sheets. You watched the movie for a bit longer but ultimately decided that Yoongi was more interesting than the rom-com that ending had eventually become predictable. You turned to your side and watched his scribble stuff down into his notebook.

“What are you working on?” You asked him.

“This and that,” he only murmured, barely stripping away any attention from the paper.  You studied Yoongi for a second and smiled. There were only two things Yoongi was really good at doing: one, be a total dick (mostly to you but it's a mutual thing, either way, you didn't mind at times) and, two, writing music. You'd known him for so long and from the very start, you had adored how focused Yoongi would become when he was working on his music. 'It's more than a passion' you remembered him saying once and you more than believed him. When he would write, he didn’t allow people to listen to his work until he was at least part satisfied with it, which would take a while because he was also a perfectionist. However when he turned to you and asked, you were in serious shock—

“Can you look at this?”

“I mean—” you paused for a second, studying his face to see if he was shitting around or not.

Not.

“Uh, sure.”

He handed you the notebook and the what was on it took you by surprise, for the second time that night.

“Piano?”

Yoongi nodded. 

Out of eight whole years of knowing each other, Yoongi had most rarely written piano songs, it had always been rap of some sort. The piano was more your thing being that you’d played it ever since you were a kid. It was your favorite hobby, still is. You could understand why he wanted you to see it. 

You studied the chords and melody scribbled messily onto the page carefully, taking your time to interpret and play the song out in your head. Even if you were not actually listening to it, what you were seeing in front of you was indescribable. ‘Beautiful’ wouldn’t bring it close to justice. 

—Listen: วัชราวลี - ทราย—

“Wow,” you couldn't help but say. “That was so— When did you learn how to write?”

“I learned at some point.” 

"Oh my god, Yoongi," You say, gawking endlessly at the page. You looked at it a bit more, genuinely blown away by each and every note, and finally noticed something. "This is... Who is it for?"

"No one in particular," he replied and quickly snatched the notebook away at which you groaned at its absence. 

“Yah,” you moaned. “You’re so greedy.”

“Of my own notebook?”

“Fucker,” you huffed when Yoongi wasn’t showing any sign of giving up you slumped back down onto the bed and turned your back towards him as you mumbled ugly things into the pillow in your arms. Stupid. Food coma, however, was quick to kick in because the moment you lay back down and started calling Yoongi call kinds of names instead of his own, you could feel your eyelids dip further and further down. You fell asleep as quick as that, but at least that dick of a friend deserved that earful. Stupid...

Yoongi’s POV

Stupid.

As if I couldn’t hear you. Yoongi shook his head as he listened to Y/N murmur all sort of things to sleep, quickly snoring away after her little rant. 

“How the hell does she fall asleep that fast,” Yoongi commented as he watched her body rise and fall in perfect sync with her loud ass snores, just like she had always been doing since freshman year of high school... Yoongi’s eyes remained on Y/N for while, he felt a sharp pang within him at which he quickly brushed off before ultimately going back to staring at his music sheet.

...

Yoongi gripped his pencil tightly and looked back at you once again.

“It was for you, stupid.”

(( A cute lil scenario for lil Yoongs. If you don’t mind dropping by my inbox, please leave a feedback. It’s been while idk how my writing has gone :// Most of all, I hope you all enjoyed <3 ))

CHECK OUT NUTRITION (YOONGI X READER FLUFF/CRACK) FOR A FOLLOW UP OF STUPID.