#whaaat the fuccck

[iolite-ethereal]

Ok so starting around 9:10 or so tonight i almost died 3 times in the span of 5 to 10 minutes

Idk what it was that helped me be it sheer dumb luck or whatever but in the span of 10 minutes (at most. Likely less than that) i was both incredibly unlucky and incredibly fortunate. Pretty much I almost died 3 times within that 10 minute span.

I was trying to ride my bike home from work with a latte in hand, in the dark- and while i do have a proper light for night riding and i am able to ride with a drink in hand easily- tonight was not my night. Not even a block from my work, i managed to be blinded by oncoming headlights on the road to where i couldnt see a bump in the sidewalk that made my handlebars swerve unexpextedly, which startled me into pulling the breaks. On the ride to work i discovered that my handle bars were loose but i didnt have time to find a different ride, so when i hit the breaks the bars shifted down as i was pushed forward by momentum. I lost balance, and fell, latte in hand, left into the grass, which is more fortunate than right into oncoming traffic. I ended up only skinning my knee slightly and quite comically falling onto by back leading to pouring some of my latte right over the bridge of my nose and onto my face and eyes. Unharmed but shaken i gathered myself up, fixed my now twisted handlebars into at least managable condition, and attempted to carry on my way, only to almost get hit by a car speeding out of a nursing home driveway not 50 feet away from where i just fell. The driver didnt even give a shit and also i fucking hate tjat nursing home bc they thought it was a great idea to put tall shrubberies all around to the point where drivers cant see out into the road where they need to turn so they get impatient and zoom out without looking. But yeah car looked like it had already gotten hit from the side once and the whole time the driver was just lookin left and when they saw me we made eye contact and then they just kept going like bitch you /know/ what the fuck just happened, you can fucking /tell/ and you dont give a shit? I hope whoever you put in that poor nursing home os treated well and is dissapointed in you and your life choices and if you work there then i feel sorry for every one of your clients since you obviously dont care about people's well being jfc. And after that i decided to call it quits bc i can take a hint considering how hard i had to brake and shove my foot on the cement and swerve bc of that person so soon after wiping out so i texted my dad to come and get me. After he replied i decided to wait in the light of the large lamp hanging from the sidewalk entry of that stupid place bc tbh thats a decent spot to be. I was visible, and away from the splash zone of the puddle as well as the murder driveway of the nursing home. But qhile waiting i got worried about the idea that maybe something fell out of my backpack when i fell, so i turned on my phones flashlight and walked away from my bike, back across the hellish driveway, back along where i probably fell, and, seeing nothing, walked back. Of course on my way back across the driveway of evil a car decided to quickly turn into this dam thing and of course once again i am almost ran over. Honestly what the hell. I get the first time bc its a divided driveway so of course you cant see on the right turning out but turning in? The giant ass sign in the middle of it lights up the whole damn driveway! I was fucking VISIBLE. INARGUABLY. VISIBLE. WATCH WHERE YOU ARE FUCKING GOING. So in the nd i just stood on the sidewalk and waited for my dad to grab me and as i expected the normally impossible task of getting my bike in the car was made possible with my new magical posable handlebars and i got a ride home. And of course somehow getting the bike in the car jostled something too much and the damn mechanism got fucked so now the pedals turn without moving the chain. Hooray. Lovely.

In the end im left with a minorly broken yet inoperable bike, a tiny bit of skin shaved off but no blood lost, a surprisingly only slightly lighter latte cup, and a somewhat sore upperback. It was also kinda sprinkling so im suprised my clothes didnt get soaked sitting in the grass? Either way all that is better than a mangled leg or cracked skull, or getting hit by a car (or 2), or whatever the fuck else that was awaiting any more than half a block away from my work. Seriously im starting to think that if i hadn't stopped when i did then i was gonna actually get hit by a car or mugged on the way home or something. I feel like one of those cartoon characters that keeps having near misses with anvils and pianos and cliffs but is unscathed, thought this doesnt make me feel invincible but rather cautious. Anyway, good night to you all and i hope you have a better time than i did in your near future!

[walkingontheair]

I’M SCREAMING!! I HAD NO IDEA FOB DID THIS!!  ... sorry to all of you who already knew..

[omgmarieux]

WHAAAT THEEE FUCCCK

[feellikearainbow]

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