#nct dream shitpost

[sinisxtea]

renhyuck in a nutshell

[fullsunstrawberry]

so you’re telling me people got to see THIS haechan in person without paying…

imma kms

[winwintea]

nct and wether or not they prefer coke or pepsi with no elaboration whatsoever (i’m about to upset so many people)

taeyong - coke

taeil - pepsi

johnny - coke

yuta - coke

kun - pepsi

doyoung - coke

ten - coke

jaehyun - coke

winwin - pepsi

jungwoo - pepsi

mark - ginger ale

xiaojun - pepsi

hendery - pepsi

renjun - pepsi

jeno - coke

haechan - pepsi

jaemin - coke

yangyang - coke

chenle - pepsi

jisung - pepsi

sion - coke

riku - pepsi

yushi - pepsi

jaehee - coke

ryo - coke

sakuya - pepsi

[106alibi]

RATING THE DREAMIES' IG USERNAMES

disclaimer: this is a shitpost. and very much my own opinion. it's not that deep what their usernames are, this is just for fun!! also I thought if this at 2am and I'm not sure if it's had been done before

mark: onyourm__ark

the underscores make it kinda weird but it also makes it very loser and very mark so 10/10 (yeah no shit this is biased he could name his ig asscrack200 and I'd say it's perfect)

renjun: yellow_3to3

I love renjun and I think using yellow for huang (黄) is so clever and cute but the 3to3 is throwing me off bad 😔 I feel like something along the lines of yellowjunnie or smth would be cuter!! 8/10

jeno: leejen_o_423

WHY IS THE 'O' BY ITSELF would've looked so much better if it was leejeno_423 but I'm assuming someone took that name so he was forced to do that 😔😔 would've just paid for the username ngl. 7/10

jaemin: na.jaemin0813

no complaints. very simple and straight to the point, but works well and everything is together. 10/10. also what's with people putting their birthdays in their username.

haechan: haechanahceah

I LOVE THIS USERNAME SO MUCH!!!! the forward then reverse is so unique, cute, and visually pretty as well and it's just SO haechan I love it so much 11/10

chenle: kh1000le

another banger I think the cheon (1000) was so smart but I have no idea what the kh stands for... it's okay tho it looks pretty good and I have no complaints 9/10

jisung: the__and.y

jisung using his english name as his username sends he's ALL about ANDY PARK!!! and to be so honest I think Andy is such a cute name and it suits him so well (it constantly reminds me of toy story). I usually get peeved by underscores and periods in usernames but this one doesn't peeve me for some reason?? 10/10!!

[doiefy]

nct 127 as cursed college profs

very partially based on stupid shit i've had the pleasure and misfortune of seeing in my own classes. happy finals season girlies </3 i rise from my casket of inactivity to bring you the shit post i wrote on the subway on the way to an exam. whose class do you think you'd survive?

cw: cynical college humour because i'm coping, adult humour

taeil: not even that old, but barely knows how to use technology. spends the first 15 minutes of lectures trying to figure out zoom, then the rest of the time poorly explaining quantum mechanics from a textbook written 20 years ago. trips down the stairs two days into the semester and goes on medical leave, only to be spotted on vacation a week later. no one even gives him shit for it.

johnny: originally the cool, chill prof who occasionally went out for drinks with his classes, until he realized he was cool and tried to get even more hip with the kids. now he uses bad memes in his slides and films tiktoks in his lab. the number of students who ask to get drinks with him significantly boosts his ego, but no one tells him they’re doing it just to cross “drinking with a prof” off the frosh bingo card.

taeyong: the sweetest, loveliest, kindest soul you will ever meet—except he’s only taught twice in his life, just got put in as a replacement for a prof who tripped down the stairs, and gives you the most god-awful final exam known to man. he’s also stressed out (on your behalf) at any given moment, to the point where he just passes everyone with an 80 and calls it a day.

yuta: the hip, fashionable prof who only serves looks and random commentaries on society in the middle of his lectures. undergrads fight to the death to join his research group, but the ones who make it eventually realize he spends most of his time partying with the department’s money. yet still, groundbreaking work comes out of his lab every year…

doyoung: retired from research a few years ago to teach full time, but not a single person knows why. he may offer the clearest, live-saving explanations in his lectures—but he constantly looks like he wants to go home and will decimate your entire existence with a single look if you ask anything about the syllabus two weeks into the semester.

jaehyun: the hot single prof. every single freshman girlie has a sickening, concerning, fanfic-esque crush on him. some go as far as nearly failing his class and then booking office hours with him before finals, only to find out that he’s been using Doyoung’s teaching material for years, without credit. he is very much horrendous at teaching on his own. and very much gay.

jungwoo: wanted to go into early childhood education, somehow got coerced into doing his masters, then his phd, then post doc, then— still fulfills his dreams by treating his students like kindergarteners. this includes gentle parenting of frat boys who won’t shut the fuck up during class, handing out healthy vegan treats, and encouraging “mindful moments” while you write the hardest exam he has ever administered.

mark: refuses to teach because he doesn’t think any of the kids will take him seriously, is forced to anyways by the department. as a prodigy so fucking removed from what it’s like to be stupid, he ends all his quantum lectures with “this is pretty straightforward,” and books it back to his lab on an electric skateboard. yes he built it himself. no he won't let you try and ride it.

haechan: shares an office with mark and spends most of his free time figuring out which organic compounds he can mix together to perfectly recreate the texture and smell of cum. if he doesn’t show up to class, it’s because he’s terrorizing pigeons on the street for science. shows gruesome videos of explosions and chemical fires for a chemical safety lecture. has had the fire alarm pulled on him at least twice.

[rentenwins]

all i do is cry over nct dream, scream over zb1 and vogue to evnne

[librarisxng]

I would write fanfics cause that seems fun but I suck at writing so I’m just gonna stick to chaotic posts about my faves.

[spacejip]

may i present to you... me!!

- i’m victoria! you can also call me vicky or vic - 20 yo, she/her, bi - virgo, infj/p - 14.09.04 - computer engineering student (save me please) - i’m from argentina 🇦🇷 así que también hablo español :p

ALSO!! mdni. i don’t always post all-ages-friendly stuff i made this post for you guys to see what things i’m into ;) and also because i’m bad at remembering my own fav things, specially groups and ult biases☠️ but it’s because i love a lot of things (most of them oddly specific) at the same time okay?😔🤚🏼

i don’t really write or anything (i mean i did for a long time but i don’t post anymore hehe)… i just shitpost here since i don’t have irl friends that like kpop ☹️ so i just say whatever i think here :D i’ll just list them and you can hit my line if you like any of them or to talk about anything, really !! i swear i’m normal !!

🍃 - chase atlantic, the neighbourhood, cavetown - lemons, grapefruits and raspberries - volleyball - f1 (my dad got me into it by making us watch it every sunday...) - cats - autumn - mint flavored things - studio choom performances - haikyuu, tokyo revengers, another - genshin impact, valorant, dead by daylight, league of legends, fnaf (not that i am any good) - horror movies, games, animes - writing, drawing, singing, dancing, taking pictures (literally anything art related atp, as a hobby tho)

i’ve been haechan biased since i found nct but since chenle wrecked so hard, i’d say i’m chenle biased now.

🍂 my fav groups and biases are: - chenle / haechan (nct dream) - taeyong (nct 127) - xiaojun / hendery / yangyang (wayv) - sion / yushi (nct wish) - sungchan / sohee (rii7e) - gyuvin / matthew (zerobaseone) - jaehyun / woonhak (boynextdoor) - beomgyu (txt) - sunghoon (enhypen) - ej / nicholas (&team) - minho (stray kids) - gaon (xdinary heroes) - yuna (itzy) - giselle (aespa) - haewon (nmixx) - rei (ive) - sohyun (triples)

🍁 my current obsessions are: - JIIIIIIIIIIIISUNG (park) - making playlists i wont use at all - investigating new music artists / groups - kinda obsessed with birthdays like… wdym jisung (skz) has the same bd as me?? sungchan (riize) and yeonjun (txt) a day before me. and felix (skz) a day after me!!?? :3 - nct (couldn’t you tell?), project7 and park jihoon (and the dramas he’s in) - rainbow, my youth, box, to my first, go, love again, hello future (nct dream) - jyuugoya, under the skin, beat the odds (&team) - limitless, cherry bomb, gas, raindrop, ayo, chain, simon says (nct 127) - 90s love, pado, universe, round and round, make a wish (nct u) - only human, ain’t no thang, kick back (wayv) - can’t get you (jaehyun) - tamed dashed, given taken (enhypen) - paranoid, i never existed (chase atlantic) - both 404 songs and honestly taeyong’s entire discography - songbird, the dance break specifically (nct wish)

that is all… for now 😛

[fullsunstrawberry]

sorry guys it was my strawussay in the background of the smoothie mv…

[jjoongiesbetter]

── pinned info post ᝰ.ᐟ

│mon, 24 y.o, she/her │i ult yunho&hongjoong (atz) and jimin (bts) (i am very weak for jongho tho) │but i also very much like oneus, stray kids, nct dream, shinee, and seventeen! │tbh it's a shitpost blog just to keep my main blog clean! so expect a lot of kpop, rants, and some daily things! (just because i have to stop using my private instagram acc like a fan one and i hate using twitter) │please feel free to use my inbox to rant or if you ever need someone to talk to!

│disclaimers: 1. minors don't interact! 2. i reblog nswf content 3. i suffer from bipolar disorder and depression so i might talk about it in my posts 4. i am a bit awkward so bear with me! 5. be kind!

── .✦

!!!│my main blog is @03jyh23 (so you will see this username if i follow you or like your post) you can also check it if you're interested in my writing!

[winwintea]

[🐌] since 10 minutes by lee hyori is trending here’s one of my favorite taeil clips ever

[d0yochi]

doyochi's first post

heey everybody (please somebody!) im new and trying to make friends, this is my first time using tumblr so if you got any tips or recs please leave them!

im 22 years old, and honestly i don't now that much about myself but i like:

NCT U / NCT 127 / WAYV / NCT DREAM

writting

reading

drawing

and shitposting

i might post NSFW sometimes idk yet lol but it'll be tagged accordingly.

[jackiehicks]

hi!

i haven’t done this in a LOOOONG time. i used to write on here under the url imaginesxyou when i was like 13, but i miss writing and shipping and general tumblr shitposting so bad. i figured i’d do a little introduction to let you guys get to know me, and i’ve put my fandom list here too so you guys know what stuff i might write for!!

so i’m jackie. i’m 20 years old and based in the uk. i’m queer and genderfluid (any pronouns) so i’m happy to write any lgbtq+ requests you guys have. i’m an apprentice travel agent at the moment, and a lot of my time is eaten up by work. however i’ll try and pop on here and answer some of your requests when i can!! my hobbies generally include writing, watching tv and movies, and singing! i sing at my local open mic night and i really love it. i listen to all kinds of music, but i perform strictly 60’s music at the moment. i’m hoping to branch out into 70s and 80s stuff too when i have time. i’m also autistic and my hyperfixations can change quite often, so i’ll likely close some fandoms on my list depending on what i’m fixated on at the time. I’ll also probably add stuff on too as time goes on!

i’ll be writing little drabbles and self inserts (i’m a sucker for all that y/n shit), but also ships! this was a big thing that i did back in the day and the people seemed to love it. you guys probably don’t need it but here’s a quick rundown on how to request!

SELF INSERTS:

just pop a fandom and character into my ask box and a description of what sort of thing you’re looking for - it can be as long or as short of a description as you want! i’ll do my best with the given material. there are some things i probably won’t write but i can’t think enough to have a list of those here. if your ask includes something i’m not comfortable writing i’ll just reply and let you know.

SHIPS:

similar process - pop a fandom and a description of yourself into the ask box, and once again it can be as brief or as detailed as you see fit. try to include stuff like looks, personality, interests, gender and sexual preference, etc.

as it currently stands, here’s my fandom list that you can request from! requests will be open for all fandoms to kickstart the blog a little. it’s split into movies, tv shows, and music!

TV SHOWS:

high school musical: the musical: the series (current hyperfixation)

grease: rise of the pink ladies

community

sex education

stranger things

ted lasso

mech x4

kickin it

heartstopper

julie and the phantoms

my babysitter’s a vampire

MOVIES:

disney’s zombies

harry potter (but not in a way that supports jk rowling obvs)

ferris bueller’s day off

young guns 2 (specifically the sequel)

sky high

the mighty ducks

newsies

dead poets society

undrafted

lord of the rings

top gun

everybody wants some!!

star trek (2009-2016)

the breakfast club

narnia

x-men

bottoms

metal lords

star wars (probably just the movies at the moment, i’m a little behind on the shows)

disney’s descendants

MUSIC:

the monkees

the hollies

the beatles

the byrds

wham

nct dream (the only kpop group on here - sorry!)

backstreet boys

the doors

tokio hotel

the jimi hendrix experience

pink floyd

don broco

queen

and that’s my introduction done!! requests are officially open! thank you guys so much, this is gonna be so much fun.

for the first time, this is jackie signing off!

[hannie-dul-set]

who in nct dream would agree to fake date you

back with another shit post and it's fake dating edition with the dreamies!!! haha we all know how terribly well fake dating ends :) i have a similar one with 127 but it's smooching here so if u wanna wink wink

mark: inhales. okay. okay. he's gonna think he heard it wrong at first and be like haha right, but then you repeat it so now he's haha— w h a t. fake date to get back at ur ex??? why? where? when? how? whO??? very hesitant but this is marky we're talking of course he's gonna agree but you have a lot to work with good luck lmao you're gonna lara jean and peter kavinsky this shit but like +80 sweaty palms +50 awkward voice cracks when he calls u "babe" +100% chance that he's gonna fall in love with you so | rating: 6/10 it's really fun actually as long as u don't think about the repercussions.

renjun: [gagging noises] "ew? why the fuck would i date you?" "it's fake dating renjun, c'mon i don't need another miserable family reunion" "why the fuck—" he's thinking that you're crazy, you're out of your mind. that is until your bribe him with some money and a promise that you won't bully him for the rest of the month them maybe he's considering. but then the day comes and your aunt asks you when your anniversary is and you both respectively answered "july 7" and "december 25" | rating: 4/10 because he did terribly the first time and now he's insisting to do it again to defend his honor.

jeno: okay at first— jeno.png but then he recovers and like "oh sure haha" and you're squealing because oh my fucking god jeno ur an angel now i can finally prove to my friends that i'm not a single loser anymore. jeno is like "yeah no problem :)" but watch him wikihow to be a fake boyfriend. fake dating 101. how to NOT fall in love with ur fake s/o and he's a mess really oh my god. jeno thinks he's ready. jeno thinks he's prepared. but the moment his hand BARLELY grazes yours, a volcano would erupt in his head good bye | rating: 5/10 because you'd end up with a very broken jeno but your friends are like awww he's so shy so it actually works out?

haechan: if hyuck is gonna do this then he's gonna do this RIGHT my god. "here's how we met, how i asked you out, how you fell in love with me— memorize it, bitch" and jesus you're like you signed up for a fake relationship not a fucking supplementary class but hyuck is like "MEMORIZE IF YOU WANT THIS TO WORK, YOU WORM" and you're like "OKAY U PSYCHO" and he'd stop. stare at you. offended. and gASP "baby, how could call your boyfriend a psycho i'm hurt" and you're like what the fuck did you just get yourself in to | rating: 8/10 gruelling preparations aside, he plays his part well

jaemin: your best bet really. he's good at it. like reallyyyy good you might actually find yourself falling for him fr and you're like whoa we're breaching dangerous territory here haha. you asked him to be ur fake bf because ur cousin was getting married and you're very salty but my GOD all your relatives love him nana is insane. but again, he plays his role too well. lingering feeling of his arm around your waist. when he wiped the frosting from your lips while you were eating the wedding cake. his protective hold when some of your friends get a little close and you're like fuck. you're a goner | rating: 9/10 minus 1 bcs nana this is supposed to be fake what are u doing.

chenle: the only circumstance that he'd actually agree is when he he's absolutely bored and has nothing else to do. and like, don't expect him to take it seriously either lmao. ur like "chenle just hold my fucking hand" "ew what if you have cooties" "hold. the fucking. hand." and then when someone asks you how you started dating, you were about to tell the whole made up story that you came up with but chenle opened his damned mouth before you and said "y/n was chasing after me for a long time so i just agreed because—" "hAHA HE LIKES :) TO JOKE :) AROUND :) we're in love very in love. right, lele?" | rating: 3/10 he has the decency to get you free stuff.

jisung: do you.... want him to die? do you really want him to die? literally the very act of asking if him to fake date you will get him like fake date? date? did you like him? but wait it's fake? wait why is his heart beating so fast oh my god did he like you? shit well damn i guess jisung likes you now. and because he has now suddenly realized that he likes you, he can't say no right?? right??? but then he realizes that you have to do all those couple-y stuff which he may want to but oh my god what even how and u realize that this was really really bad idea because smoke starts emitting from his head and you're like oh my god | rating: 1/10 please don't try this at home.

[neocrush]

#CHENLE: do you know who da FUCK you’re talking to?? 🗣 bitch i’m DOJA ‼️ i go WAY BACK 🙄💅

[doyoungbunnyagenda]

Kpop heart memedump

I was bored so i made this.

Pray for my sleep schedule

Credit to owners