#ncs best songs
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agamatjeh · 2 years ago
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byberbunk2069 · 4 months ago
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Never said their post-2077 reunion was gonna be drama free.
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theclosetedskeleton · 1 year ago
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i relate to this song on ANOTHER level LIKE OH MY GOD
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bassrebelsmusic · 7 months ago
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Copyright Free Music For Vlogs | Anybody Else by FarKnown & Alia Faye
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targaryenluvs · 11 months ago
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OUR LITTLE DOVE
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pairings: dark!lucy gray x fem!reader, dark!coriolanus snow x fem!reader, coriolanus snow x lucy gray
summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you. but it seems lucy gray is willing to share you with a certain peacekeeper, even if you aren’t.
warnings: crazy lucy n corio conspiring like evil doers, manipulation, chasing, primal play?? is that what is called idk corio enjoys hunting your ass down, kidnapping, drugging, forced into accepting a third partner?? nc touching, abuse of power (peacekeeper), power dynamics, kinda cheating (lucy n corio), guilt-trip, jealousy, threatening, self doubt and relationship problems, murder, betrayal
word count: 3.0k
a/n: lol i complain about wanting to write fluff but all my good ideas r so dark 😭 someone needs to give me tips on how to write girls cuz i have no experience would be easier if i was gay boooo!!
he was like a shadow, stuck to your back, always.
you’d complained to lucy numerous times that you didn’t feel comfortable around him when she played at the hob, knowing he’d be there, in the crowd. “sweetie, he was my mentor. he helped me so much in the games, i wouldn’t be here without him. you love me don’t you? so you need to learn to love him too, he’s a good friend a mine. i love you and i gotta get to the stage baby.” she explained as she ran around getting herself and the covey ready.
you were always front row. wanting to be as close to lucy as possible. she looked especially majestic tonight with flowers in her hair. as you listened to her sing you’d managed to forget about the certain blonde peacekeeper near the back. but he hadn’t forgotten about you, nor lucy.
you’d left to get a drink and you’d came back to an unfamiliar tune. you usually knew every song being played off by heart but this was new.
Everyone's born as clean as a whistle
As fresh as a daisy
And not a bit crazy
Staying that way's a hard row for hoeing
she sounded as angelic as usual and the crowd around you seemed entranced.
As rough as a briar
Like walking through fire
This world, it's dark
This world, it's scary
lucy smiled at you once, just once. which threw you off since you usually got a bunch. especially during new songs and songs about you. was this not also about you?
I've taken some hits, so
No wonder I'm wary It's why
I need you
so it is about me! you thought as you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to sway to the music and singing. you’d hoped you wouldn’t miss a smile headed your way.
You're as pure as the driven snow
your eyes flew open as you stared at lucy, she was looking past you and to the peacekeeper. to coriolanus snow. you’d always been a rational person, you prided yourself on restraint but that restraint was hanging on by a thread. you wanted to jam a beer bottle into his neck. lucy was your girlfriend not his. and yet he smiled stupidly towards her as she sang and you could feel your heart clawing its way up. best to leave now rather than stay and hear more of the ever so driven man.
your head was spinning as you slumped to the floor, in one of your finest dresses yet worst mental states. of course, something had formed between the two. she was in the goddamn hunger games and he was her mentor. trauma bonding? he quite literally saved her life, coached her and you did what? sat at home and hoped.
hope could only get you so far.
your hope and faith in lucy gray baird was dwindling as her lyrics swirled in your head. of course she loved him. who wouldn’t? the man was undeniably eye catching. a capitol man. but you’d always imagined lucy staying away from the capitol, despising them. but maybe it wasn’t the captiol part but the man part. maybe she wanted a true life, a home, marriage and children and everything she could wish for.
what on earth could you provide her with?
“y/n?” it sure as hell wasn’t lucy calling out for you and you knew that. coriolanus’s reflection was prominent in the puddle before you as he neared. great, you sneered, would love to get to know you mr peacekeeper. please tell me how you stole my lovely girlfriend from me!
your chest felt oh so heavy as you heard his footsteps in the gravel, determined and unwavering as he made his way to your slumped body. “what do you want? you wanna gloat?” coriolanus stopped in his tracks, gloat? “why would i gloat?” you looked up at him annoyed, “rub it in my face. you practically stole my girlfriend from me.” coriolanus laughed. actually laughed and it made you want to strangle him with his stupid dog tags.
“sweetheart.” vomit. you wanted to vomit. maybe choking and dying on your vomit would be less embarrassing then this. why on earth was this fuck head calling you his sweetheart. “fuck off.”
you didn’t see him coming. and you certainly didn’t expect his demeanour to snap. but the large hand tangled in your open hair was a big slap in the face to your unreadiness. “you of all people don’t get to talk to me like that. do you know who you’re talking to?” you could hear his perfect porcelain teeth grinding at your words. god this man couldn’t handle an insult. wuss.
“what the hell is your- ow! problem!” you yelped as he dragged you into an alleyway. “you need to learn how to respect your superiors. if you’re nice to me, i can make your life easier. doesn’t it hurt? not being able to fully provide for your family? seeing them struggle? do you really think disrespecting a peacekeeper is going to help? i suggest you straighten your act and thank me for even looking your way. there are plenty of other girls here.”
but he didn’t want those other girls. he wanted you. you with the teary eyes and messy hair. you who he’d been seeing in his dreams and during the day. you with the kind smile and curious eyes. you who were so sweet and pretty but mean when need be. the y/n who was stupid enough to spit such hateful words at a peacekeeper. but he’d teach you. whether it be with words and lessons or actions and bruises. you’d learn your place, by his side and lucy’s, and underneath. but with such fearful, brown doe eyes watering up infront of him, the girl he’d heard oh so much about from lucy. how could he refrain from indulging?
his hand reached out to wipe away the few stray tears that fell as his left extended towards your right, which was clutching your head, where he’d grabbed you. “shh, let me help you.” your hand slowly retracted as your heart ran a marathon. the man was obviously unstable, going from a deceptively caring man to violent. coriolanus smiled at your actions, and it freaked you out. he caressed your scalp in an attempt to soothe, “good girl.” he cooed as your apparent saviour approached.
“sweetie?” lucy called out to you as coriolanus withdrew from your personal space. he walked over to her and she let him. he held her hand and spoke with, love? his voice was soft and comforting, his thumb again caressing the back of her hand as they talked, whispered, plotted? god knows, all you wanted was to leave.
was this your chance?
you tested the waters, slow and calculated movements as lucy nodded in agreement with him. but by the time they were done speaking you’d bolted.
but you sure as hell weren’t getting far with these two on your tail, poor y/n l/n. a little dove trying to spread her wings but they were bound to be clipped.
your feet were throbbing and begging for you to slow down. but your brain was in charge for once, your heart which yearned for your dear songbird pushed to the side as your head screamed and urged you to go. she was in league with him apparently. her seeing him corner you and not even batting an eyelash. did she truly care for you so little? did she want to rid herself of you? she could’ve broken up with you and let that be it. maybe the games had twisted her head.
even as you believed yourself to be gaining distance from the two you could hear the not-so distant steps of determined pursuit, headed your way. how would they kill you? slow and intimate? hasty and brutal?
“if you stop running now we won’t be mad little dove!” lucy shouted in warning as you felt yourself momentarily slow at her words. traitor. you thought to yourself as your body involuntary listened, she still had an affect on you. “she’s right, we love you, we won’t hurt you. unless we have to, don’t give us our reasons.”
“shut up!” you screamed. god, i know we haven’t talked in a while. last minute efforts right? maybe he’d listen to you, save you from your tormentors. you should’ve kept your head clear, focused on running. focused on your surroundings and if you had, you would’ve noticed the nearing tree roots, thick and protruding from the ground, ready to knock you down.
you crawled behind the tree, trying to catch your breath as your hands worked tirelessly to provide some form of relief to your aching ankle.
crack.
you’d been found. you fucked up.
“our little dove, ever the sprinter.”
his words had you lurching forwards in an attempt of fleeing but lucy’s cold hand on your ankle dragged protests and cries from your throat as well as you, back to them. “you should’ve listened before, we would’ve been nice. given you some time to adjust, but you can’t sit and think for a second can you?” coriolanus mocked as his hand trailed up your un-injured leg, “that’s okay, you won’t be doing much thinking from now on. we’ll be taking care of you, since you obviously can’t take care a’ yourself baby.” lucy’s voice was saccharine, like honey, and her smile was even sweeter. the familiarity and comfort of her presence was intoxicating, you felt at peace on one side and the other wanted to jump off a cliff. she lowered your guard and coriolanus slithered right in.
the prick in the side of your neck wasn’t painful, but their words were. “you’re with us now, we’ll take care of you, we promise.” and you were stuck, stuck with them for god knows how long.
you blinked away the sleep in your eyes, adjusting to the room. maybe they had killed you? in their own twisted way they’d keep you forever, in their memories and soul. coriolanus and lucy’s voices swam around your head and blended together. you were wrong. yay.
“it’s a bit early for katniss, even if it’s one of her favourites.”
“she should eat something better.”
“better? don’t go all capitol on me now corio.”
he was smiling, you could tell.
“never lucy gray. but she’ll be weak for a few days, proper meals will help her regain some strength.”
you picked your head up and looked through the window, the lake was evident.
“alright, you go grab it and i’ll stay here.”
“why? so you can get more time with her? if anyone should get extra time it’s me.”
“now who was her partner first? oh that’s right, me. you’re acting as if i’m gonna pick her up and run away. if you’re that scared than we’ll both go. take her with us.”
coriolanus’s head whipped towards the cabin and you quickly flopped back down on the bed. you shut your eyes as you heard the door creak open. “gosh, doesn’t she look pretty?” lucy asked, knowing the answer already. “so calm, i liked her better when she was crying.” lucy hit him, “coriolanus snow!” he stroked the side of your face and you had to resist from turning your head and biting his fingers off.
“little dove.” your eyes opened again, turning your head his way tiredly. “we need to get some supplies okay?” you nodded as lucy went outside to gather the baskets she’d left out earlier on to dry. coriolanus’s hand dug into your cheeks as he forced you to look at him, “i told you i’d make you respect me. now listen, if you try anything when we’re in town i will never let you forget it. you’ll know who you belong to every single day. maybe i’ll pay your family a visit? an appointment with the hanging tree for being rebels? stealing?”
you shook your head violently as you began to cry, “you don’t want that? didn’t think so. you listen to me and everything will be fine. your family will get daily help and weekly groceries. they’ll never go hungry again. all thanks to their sweet little girl. lucy’s too nice, but don’t think for a second she’ll save you from me. you’re mine and if you try anything.” he leaned in to whisper, “i’ll strangle her with my bare hands infront of you.” his words were meant to scare you, and they did. but don’t you know? coriolanus snow doesn’t need a reason to do bad things.
coriolanus was wicked and ruthless when it came to what he wanted, if you had any hope of trying to get through this then you’d need lucy’s attention and help. so you nodded. “words sweetheart.” you swallowed your pride, your dignity, and you shook hands with the devil.
“yes, i’ll do what you say.” he straightened up, his white shirt a contrast to his dark thoughts.
“y’all ready to go?” lucy questioned as coriolanus grinned, “yes, yes we are.” he lifted you up and helped you dress, you hadn’t realised the fact that you were only dressed in his own white shirt, dress to you. he handled you like you were the most delicate object. as if he wasn’t hell bent on breaking you, over and over again. till you were fit to his standards. the captiol standards. the snow standards.
his, his, his.
with how obedient you were, he figured you’d do well in the capitol. which was exactly where he was meaning to bring you.
lucy walked in front of the two of you as you made your way through the woods. coriolanus’s hand was glued to your waist as he held you close, afraid to let go. you were at flight risk of course. his grip was tight and bruising. lucy’s humming distracted you at times, if you were delusional enough you could imagine it to be the two of you. your brothers far infront and the covey following. after an amazing afternoon at the lake, heading home for dinner, maybe a performance or the night shift.
your daydreaming was interrupted when you clocked coriolanus’s missing hand from your waist, and his arm now around lucy grays throat.
don’t you remember? you’d do well in the capitol! you were his! but not entirely, no.
not with her in the way.
you were frozen in place as lucy clawed at him before reaching out for you. a plea, a cry for help and aid yet you stood stuck in fear. a minute, two. she’d put up a strong fight, especially when you ran towards the two, pushing and shoving at coriolanus to let her go. but again, you fucked up.
here lies lucy gray baird, singer, victor, psycho.
obsessed? madly in love? you couldn’t think of another word, and as much as you wished to forget her, forget how she’d practically allowed another man into your relationship and let him kidnap you. her lifeless face and hollow eyes made your heart clench. but soon enough she was rolled over, thrown in a pre-made hole and buried. she’d survived the games but no one survived coriolanus snow.
“don’t forget what i said. don’t forget what you agreed to. you said you’d do as i say, i’m telling you to get up and follow me. we’re leaving district 12.” your face was painted with confusion as coriolanus clutched your face, “i’m going back, and you’re coming with me. don’t ask questions, just do as i say.”
and you did.
when he had you say goodbye to your family, a courtesy, a privilege he’d granted you. you kept it short and sweet, no questions just hugs and false promises of return.
when he ushered you onto the train and he wanted you to sit and be silent, you did.
through his time at the university, he wanted you close to him, living with him. and you did.
through his presidency campaign he wanted for you to charm sponsors and entice newcomers. you did.
when he wanted to marry you in a grand spectacle infront of the captiol and dress you up, you did as he asked.
when he held you down on your wedding night after tearing your dress off, biting and marking you down all over, pushing you down to your knees and took you all over the house, asking you to give yourself to him as if he didn’t take you anyways, you did.
you had no idea why at this point.
for your family? who hadn’t reached out in so long, even when they promised to talk to you every day? coriolanus had them all arrested, punished and hung for inciting riots and uprisings.
for your friends whom listened to your concerns of the capitol peacekeeper who hovered and didn’t make you feel crazy? each of them ended up dead in many different ways, hung, shot, a mugging gone wrong.
you didn’t know at this point and when you looked in the mirror you didn’t recognise the girl who stared back. a captiol sheep, dressed up in the finest silk dresses and slick heels yet the filth underneath the finery, jewels, and makeup weighed you down. each time he touched you, kissed you, fucked you, it felt like a peace of yourself was thrown away.
and as you clutched your swelling stomach, you couldn’t help but feel pity for baby number four.
maybe you’d grow up and find love.
maybe i’ll be able to take you all away from him.
maybe we’ll heal.
you thought, but in the back of your head, a little voice wouldn’t shut up.
you’ll always be his little dove.
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bvidzsoo · 3 months ago
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Popular boys? Overrated ♡ (masterlist)
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Urban Dictionary:
♡ Popular boy: Annoying assholes who think making fun of other people makes them cool. ♡ Overrated: When something or someone becomes too popular than others, and is given more credits than it deserves to be.
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♡ Synposis: University? Stressful. Assignments? Too many. Social life? Above par. Boys? Disgusting. Popular boys? A total and complete headache. Sex? Optional. Sleep? Not so optional. But really...what are you supposed to do when you've got a hot guy up your ass begging for your attention? Nothing much but give in to him.
↳ Follow the two separate stories of our protagonists as they maneuver their lives at University while trying to avoid the two nefarious popular boys, Seonghwa and Yunho.
♡ Author: bvidzsoo
♡ Pairing: Park Seonghwa x female reader; Jeong Yunho x female reader
♡ Rating: nc-17
♡ Genre: 90's rom-com; University!au; Popular guy!au; Sports!au
♡ Status: on-going
🎧Playlist🎧
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♡ Park Seonghwa ♡
📝Sugar on my lips: ˗ˏˋ First assignment ★ Second assignment ★ Third assignment ˎˊ˗
Summary: Besides looking pretty and acting dumb, popular boys were good for nothing else. Park Seonghwa, who you've known for over a year now, wasn't an exception. Obnoxious, eccentric, and a peacock, he seems to have an affinity of getting on your nerves. But when coincidentally you get paired up for an assignment, you happen to discover a different side of him. Is it possible you have misjudged him?
✫☼☾☁ ❝𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫, 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲…𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠.❞ ☁☾☼✫
♡ Visual Board ♡
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♡ Jeong Yunho ♡
🎭Under the pretense: ˗ˏˋ First act ★ Second act ★ Third act ˎˊ˗
Summary: What was supposed to be the best time of your life turned into something more bizarre and only slightly fun. Don't get me wrong, having to share your theater class out of the blue with popular guy Jeong Yunho, to most, didn't sound like the worst idea, but to you...yeah, you would've been more grateful if the principal found other methods of punishment for her son's misbehavior.
꧁༺ ❝𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔟𝔢𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔡 𝔪𝔢, 𝔟𝔬𝔡𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔬𝔲𝔩, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢, ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢, ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲.❞ ༻꧂
♡ Visual Board ♡
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A/N: Weeell, hellooo, surprise?? Total random idea with the most random plots, but here I stand before you, presenting two separate stories which happen in the same universe. They can most certainly be read as standalones, but fyi I will post them by jumping from Seonghwa's story to Yunho's and then back and forth. I most certainly will not start their stories until I'm done with my Mingi rockstar series, which will take a few more weeks, sorry for making you wait but...priorities. As you can see, I have a playlist that I will be updating with songs that remind me of our girlies, our main characters, as they will be girlbossing in their respective stories lol. I hope I'll be able to pull off the 90's romcom vibes, don't be too hard on me if I fail lol <3
Taglist is open and you can leave a comment on this post, please specify if you're interested in both Seonghwa and Yunho's stories, or if in only one of them! Kisses and I hope I have piqued your interest! <3 divider
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↳Perm. taglist: @orshii @jjoongstar @tinyelfperson @thestarskiller @zuuhaa
@aaa-sia @gong-fourz @a-tinycarat @sooberryworld @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad
@anastasiamin860 @yunhogrippers @vcutparis @tunaasan @blvckarabixnvoid
@yusalterego @arigakittyo @slowee00 @jaerisdiction @hey-syia
@vnessalau @oddracha @chatsgotmytongue @potatos-on-clouds @yunhowooyo
@watermelon2319 @yoongzsmile28 @klllerwaifu @apriecotte @hwasbbyg
@kyeos4ng @samiiy20 @woosanhobros @aswho1estuff @khjoongie98
@ateez-main-yapper @kang-ulzzang @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @ginger-mingi @redzie02
@unholywriters @autieofthevalley @roomsofangel @peachyy-joonie @baeksofty
@tunafishyfishylike @syubseokie
❀ complete the forms if you're interested! ^^
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greensagephase · 4 months ago
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Nonviolent Communication - Part 17
Pairing: Spider-Man!Miguel O'Hara x Spider-Woman!Reader Summary: Miguel has been distant lately and you don't know why. Word Count: 23.9k Warnings: distant Miguel; he displays similar behaviors from the beginning of the fic, no sleeping and skipping meals; tones/mentions of death; small moment in which reader misunderstands Miguel's words and thinks he means something else (him wanting to be gone permanently); lots of fluff memories; both Miguel and you cry; lyrics for some of the songs (two) will be sprinkled in the dialogue, I tried my best to translate for one, while for the other one you can search it up. You may already know the meaning behind it since I think most of Miguel nation knows this one song already. I think that's it. If you find something else, pls let me know :) Music (Spotify playlist): "rises the moon (piano version)" - goated. "Baila Esta Cumbia" - Selena "Las Mañanitas" - Vicente Fernández (birthday song for Mexicans, at least) "someday i'll get it" - Alek Olsen "pluto projector (melody)" - emptiness "En Familia" - Carlo Siliotto (unfortunately this song isn't on Spotify, but it was one of the two main songs for this chapter. You may find it on YT here) "Luna de Xelajú" - Gaby Moreno, Oscar Isaac (yes, we're bringing it back and you better have tissues ready 🤧) "Jacob and The Stone" - Emile Mosseri Masterlist (where you can find all my other fics, but most importantly, all fanart for NC 🥹) Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoy!! 🫶🏼❤️
Part 17
The sight of sunlight streaming through the holographic blinds of your bedroom meets your eyes when you first wake up. Yawning, you stretch beneath the sheets, slowly waking up. You roll over on your side with a sigh, staring at the little pockets of sunshine on the floor.
The warmth under the covers keeps you there, anchored to the bed for a few more minutes until you finally decide to get out of bed to start the day. You slip on both gizmos; the one everyone has available to them and the new one Miguel gave you to test for him, removing the wristband you wear around the penthouse due to comfort and to avoid glitching since you’re not in your universe.
Trying not to think about something, or rather someone, you make your bed and get ready for the day. It’s only when you’re done with your bathroom routine that you decide to find out.
“Lyla?” you say.
“Hey - morning,” she says popping through your gizmo.
“Morning… Is Miguel…” you trail off.
“He’s already at HQ, yes,” she replies, fixing her glasses. “He left two hours ago.”
“Thanks.” With a frown, you make your way downstairs. You only check the kitchen out of curiosity, not because you’re particularly hungry. Knowing Miguel is already gone has decreased your appetite. Sure enough, you find a note on the counter from him, stating that he’s going to HQ. With a sigh, you slip out of the penthouse and head to your universe for your usual morning patrol, feeling down about the situation.
The problem is… Today is not the first day Miguel has gone to HQ so early. He’s been leaving the penthouse as early as 5am, unlike the past weeks and months since you’ve been living with him. Typically, the two of you leave together around the same time you’ve left the place today. You have coffee and sometimes even cook a full breakfast, but it hasn’t been like that for a few days.
You eventually arrive to HQ after your patrol, still feeling a heaviness around you. You do your tasks such as working on the weekly report, going on missions, and helping other spider members when and where it’s needed until it’s time for you to head to Miguel’s lab for your weekly organizing.
It’s still something you enjoy doing, especially even more now that Miguel is so much more open than when you first started organizing his lab two years ago. Even if you’re not conversing, the simple enjoyment of being in each other’s presence is satisfying to the two of you.
You look down at the boxes with food from the cafeteria and the drink carrier in your hands as you head there. You’re certain Miguel hasn’t had anything to eat, except maybe a coffee, if even that, so you’ve decided to get him something. Of course, being lunch time, you got him his favorite meal from the cafeteria: empanadas and other sides, along with a water and a coffee.
As expected, he thanks you with a small smile, but it’s one that doesn’t reach his eyes these days. You both eat in silence before you begin to work. As always, you make your rounds and check each surface, seeing what all there is to organize before you actually begin. You do this quietly, noticing that Miguel is too quiet. In fact, he’s been so much quieter the last few days, as if something has been weighting on his mind. Deeply. Terribly.
You’ve found him staring off into his screens several times over the last few days, his crimson eyes unblinking and focused on nothing in particular, lost in whatever has been plaguing his thoughts these days.
His smiles are distant and sad. He’s been unable to give you a true, genuine smile.
To everyone else, it may seem like a normal thing. Maybe they haven’t even noticed it, but you know better.
He’s far too quiet when cooking. His gaze is unfocused when he’s reading in the afternoons. He’s sought more solitude recently, heading upstairs to his room after dinner, and has been working out every day in the private gym in the penthouse building for several hours at a time.
You dared asked him yesterday if something was wrong, in a far more subtle way, of course.
“I’m alright, just tired,” he replied blinking back into focus, raising his hand to move screens around. He was back to working, or well, actually working since he was zoning out before you talked to him.
You continue to work silently now, taking note of the fact that even Lyla doesn’t chat with you like she normally does. She pops in and out, doing her tasks without any banter.
With a heavy feeling, you glance at Miguel. He’s on his platform, his back to you. Your eyes trace his broad shoulders, the tense stance.
Those shoulders.
They’ve carried too much for far too long.
What is plaguing his mind as of now? You can only wonder to yourself.
You carry on with your tasks, giving Miguel his time. You hope he’ll feel comfortable enough to share with you what’s been on his mind soon, or at least that his mood will improve because his recent disposition has reminded you of the early days when you first started organizing the lab. And, the truth is, that that worries and saddens you. It almost sends little alarms to your head about the possibility of maybe… Losing him.
You shake your head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. You don’t want to think about that possibility. The possibility of him taking a step back and deciding to shut everyone out again.
Including you.
But surely, that’s not it. Right?
You’ve thought about it the last few days. Did you do or said something that made him upset? Is there a chance that you did and he doesn’t want to bring it up to avoid hurting your feelings? You even wonder if maybe he’s… In need of space from you. Maybe having you around too much has become stressful, even suffocating. You debate that specifically, having no other explanation for his current behavior.
You’ve both tried to give each other space while at the penthouse, so it’s not like you spend every hour together in the evenings. During the days, you’re off doing other things either at HQ or at your universe. Yet, you still wonder if you being in his personal space, in his home, has become too much for him. Maybe you’ve pushed his boundaries, those you always try to respect, without even realizing it.
With a frown and a bad feeling in your chest, one you’ve carried with you over the last few days, you continue to work wordlessly until you’re done. You decide to leave the lab afterwards and give Miguel space, thinking maybe he truly needs a break from you.
The rest of the day goes by in a blur. Miguel stays a few more hours at HQ than he usually does these days. When he gets home, he reheats his own dinner, even though you offer to do it for him, a gesture he politely declines. In previous days, you talked with him for a bit. You’ve told him about your day, back in your universe when you’re off to do patrols, which you’ve continued to do. Just because you’re living in Miguel’s universe for the moment, doesn’t mean you’ve abandoned your dimension nor left your city defenseless.
You know you have Miguel’s technology to help connect with your two-way radio in case of emergencies, but even then, you like to do patrols. It was your promise to Peter, your Peter, after all. To keep your city safe, so you do.
You patrol your city, witnessing all sorts of things. One thing you’ve definitely learned from being Spider-Woman is that people do strange, funny, and sometimes even wholesome things when they believe no one is watching. If only they knew Spider-Woman is often watching from some rooftop.
It’s these stories you’ve told Miguel, in hopes of bringing some light to those sad eyes. You’ve succeeded but only during those short moments of time.
Whatever is on his mind takes the happiness out of them and his heart.
Today, instead of talking to him, you opt to remain silent as you clean the kitchen to at least give him company. Not long after, he excuses himself after washing his dishes, heading to his bedroom. Once you’re done cleaning the kitchen, you decide to lounge in your room, or Gabriel’s rather.
The penthouse is, once more, silent this evening, and for the first time, you feel an emptiness from it.
With a sigh, you stare out the window. The sight of the sun setting reminds you of Father’s Day and how you both sat on the rooftop that evening, enjoying the view before the sun dipped below the horizon, giving you a memory you’ll forever remember.
You touch your elbow, recalling how you ended up hurting yourself that evening in an attempt to hide the gifts you got for Miguel. Of course, it’s healed now like other injuries have in the past regardless of how big or small, physical or emotional.
Time heals all.
Usually.
You turn towards the closet where you hit yourself that day. Before you know it, you’ve opened the door and stare at the top of it. Your eyes find Peter’s box with all of his belongings, the same one you haven’t opened since you packed it.
And today is still not that day.
You close the door again and lean back on it, the sunset filtering through the window. Silently, you wonder if Miguel is watching it, too, from his own room.
You almost wish you could send him a message, but that would be insensitive and inappropriate when he’s in such a mood.
Are you watching the sunset, too?
You scoff to yourself. Yeah, not the best time.
Isn’t it beautiful? The colors - that shade of red.
It reminds you of Miguel’s eyes.
Shaking your head at your random thought, you sit down on the chair within your room and stare at the sunset some more. You remain like that until the sun fully disappears, still thinking about him and wishing you knew what is bothering him.
It’s a few minutes after the sun sets that you stand up and do a little organizing around your room. You know you’re only trying to distract yourself from Miguel but you accept the distraction happily. It’s the only way you can stop thinking about him and wondering what’s going on, analyzing your actions and words from the last few days before his mood changed. Your organizing halts half an hour later when you hear Miguel’s bedroom door open.
You frown, knowing you’re only able to hear it because he wants you to. He always goes out of his way to make as little noise as possible in case you’re taking a nap or simply to avoid disrupting you.
You don’t hear his footsteps however. You hardly do. For a man his size, you’d think you’d hear them, but no. He’s so silent.
For a moment, you wonder if he even left his room. You foolishly hope that he’s opened the door to give you a sign, one that means he’s better and ready to interact, but your hopes are shattered when you receive the notification from your gizmo.
“I’m at the gym.” - M
A part of you wants to change into workout clothes and go to the gym just to be near him, even if you keep your distance, but no.
You recognize when someone wants space - when someone wishes to be alone.
Miguel wants that now, so, you stay put in the penthouse instead, though you can’t find it in yourself to do something relaxing such as reading a book, or watching a movie or show. You don’t engage with any of your hobbies, old or new. Instead, you slip on headphones and do chores like laundry and vacuuming the living room’s rug. You wipe the ceiling to floor windows of both the living and dining area rooms, needing no ladder thanks to your spider abilities as you listen to music.
You go through an entire album, marking an hour. You play another one, focusing on other chores like drying the dishes and placing them back where they go. You adjust the couches and fix your blanket. You dust the bookcases and Miguel’s new photographs before you sweep the living room, using some advanced broom despite having robot vacuums to take care of it.
Back at the kitchen, you wipe the counters once more and then sweep that area, too. You even venture to the other living room, the one that’s for entertaining guests, and repeat the process all over again.
You keep listening to music, the hours tick by. It’s eventually eleven and Miguel is still at the gym. You only know he’s still there because Lyla tells you so. After all the chores and restlessness, you take a shower before going to bed at last, even though you simply lay there, staring at the ceiling - alone in the penthouse.
You grow restless staring at the four walls, so you eventually get up and leave your room. You stand in the hallway of the second floor, noticing the silence and darkness. It brings a thought to mind, but one you immediately push away.
After standing there for a few minutes, you finally head downstairs. Your steps are the only sound as you reach the living room where one single lamp remains on, one that you left on for Miguel for when he comes home. You also left small lamps on in the other living room and another one in the kitchen so he can see where he’s going when he comes back.
It’s past midnight when you turn to the windows and stare out at Nueva York. You bring your hands to your arms, hugging yourself with a deep sigh.
Is Miguel even coming back to the penthouse tonight? Or, will he stay at the gym all night?
Minutes tick by as you keep your gaze on the city, waiting.
You wait, and wait. And wait.
“Lyla?” you break the silence several minutes later.
“Yeah?” Lyla appears next to you, her voice gentle to avoid startling you.
“Can you please turn off all the lights?”
At that, Lyla turns to you, a frown on her face as she processes the odd request. “Turn off the lights? Why?”
“Please,” you whisper, still hugging yourself and staring out the windows.
Despite her confusion and the urge to question and deny your request, Lyla does as you’ve asked. She turns off every single light, leaving the penthouse in utter darkness, save for some spaces that are somewhat illuminated by the outside.
You turn away from the windows and stare at the living room and the rest of the penthouse. Everything is dark. And you’re alone.
Your thought from earlier comes back as you take in your surroundings.
This is what it’s like for Miguel - what it was like back then when he lost Gabriella. All alone, sitting in darkness and silence with so many running emotions all on his own.
“This is what it was like,” you whisper.
“What was what like?” Lyla asks, still hovering near you.
“Miguel. After everything that happened with Gabriella.”
Lyla nods, now understanding what’s going on, recalling those nights. “Yes, this is what the penthouse looked and felt like on those nights - and there was something heavy that lingered in the space. I don’t like to think about those nights.”
“I understand,” you whisper, imagining what Lyla has shared.
She nods, still staring at the darkness. A frown is visible on her face. It bothers her to see you like this. “I’m turning the lights on.”
“Is Miguel still at the gym?”
“Yeah. He’s been working out, almost nonstop for hours.”
You nod. He’s been trying to distract himself with that. From what? You don’t know.
”Lyla?”
“Yes?”
“… I know I shouldn’t ask…”
“You want to know what’s happening.”
“Yes.”
Lyla sighs, or replicates doing so anyway as you turn to face her at last, still hugging yourself. She sits down and adjusts her heart shape glasses. “I’m honestly surprised Miguel hasn’t told you, but I suppose he still has some healing to do despite all the progress he’s done in the last year,” she says, staring at you. “I guess it’s why he still finds it hard to talk about her.”
Her.
“Gabriella. It’s about Gabby,” you state.
“Yes. Tomorrow…” Lyla sighs again. “Tomorrow, or well, I guess today, considering the time now, would’ve been… her birthday.”
Suddenly everything clicks into place.
Lyla watches the way your shoulders slump, the realization hitting you, and how your entire face changes to one of understanding and pain.
“Miguel,” you sigh, understanding everything now. No wonder he’s been so different lately, he’s been thinking about Gabby’s upcoming birthday for days. Probably thinking about what age she’d be turning today. Now more than earlier, you feel like going to look for him, to comfort him somehow, to be near him to offer at least your presence, but you’re reminded that Miguel doesn’t want that. At least, you don’t believe so. If he did, he’d be here in the penthouse, not at the gym alone.
“You should get some rest,” Lyla suggests. “I know that’s probably the last thing you want to do now but… Miguel would feel far more guilty if he knows he’s been keeping you up. I’m certain he already feels upset with himself for how different he’s been the last few days.”
“I don’t think I can sleep, but I know I can’t go and look for him,” you reply.
“No, that would upset him even more. He doesn’t like disturbing you, or rather worrying you.”
“Right,” you respond, even though you wish to run and find him right now. “I’ll be in my room. Please make sure those lights remain on. I don’t want him to come back to…”
“Darkness.”
You nod.
“The lights will remain on, no worries,” she reassures you. “Try to sleep a bit. I’ll keep an eye out for him, too. If something comes up, I’ll wake you up.”
Lyla “walks” you to your room, feeling the need to look after you. You’re after all, her boss’s best friend. Looking after you is her looking after Miguel, one of her integral designs.
You settle down on the bed, covering your body with the bed sheets, your mind running wild with thoughts. Lyla wishes you a good night after several minutes of her simply hanging out around the room, knowing you’re not much for conversation now that you know the reason for Miguel’s current behavior, before she flickers away.
Alone, you’re back to staring at the ceiling and the walls in an empty penthouse. It’s close to two in the morning when you hear subtle footsteps. They slow down in front of your bedroom, stopping by the door.
For a moment, you wonder if Miguel will come in, deciding to talk to you, even if he thinks he’ll have to wake you up. Instead, you hear a soft sigh before the footsteps continue, fading once Miguel enters his bedroom.
You’re not sure if Miguel gets any sleep, even though you’re tempted to ask Lyla. A part of you refuses to continue invading his privacy by having Lyla tell you what he’s up to, so you don’t. You stay up for a while, staring at the walls, tossing and turning. You eventually doze off despite wanting to remain awake, waking up at six only to be told by Lyla that Miguel has already been at HQ for an hour.
Tired, you start the day knowing what today is.
Gabby’s birthday.
As you move about the penthouse, you wonder how old she would’ve turned today. The few images you have of her pop into your mind along with the few videos Miguel has of her - almost like a movie, and one too short, like her life.
You ask Lyla what Miguel has done. Apparently, he’s been working on data since he showed up.
Downstairs, you find a sticky note on the counter. Ever since you began living with him, you started the habit of leaving him sticky notes around the place, something Miguel has begun to reciprocate. Like the previous day, he’s left you another one today.
I’m at HQ. - Miguel
You make yourself a coffee and gulp it down in a few drinks, needing the caffeine. You debate doing your morning patrol, but eventually decide to do it anyway, thinking it’ll give you time to think. Swinging around your city and watching from rooftops on your own, you question whether you should talk to Miguel, let him know that you’re aware of what today is, but you quickly change your mind.
You imagine Miguel might not be pleased to know that Lyla told you, so you decide not to say anything, at least for now. You’ll have to pretend that you don’t know the reason he’s hurting.
Back at HQ, you walk around the building and check on things, trying to distract yourself. It’s nine in the morning when you decide to grab some breakfast from the cafeteria for both Miguel and you. You’re unsure of what the day or Miguel will be like when it’s Gabby’s birthday, but you definitely know that you want to look after him, even if it’s only by making sure he’s eating properly.
With breakfast in your hands, you begin to head to the lab with hope. You’ve only taken about twenty steps when you receive a notification through your gizmo from Jess, which you quickly realize was sent to everyone.
“For all questions or concerns, direct yourself with me. Miguel is busy. Do not disturb him.” - Jess
Lowering your arm, you wonder if that message applies to you, too.
Standing in the middle of a corridor, hands occupied with food, it suddenly feels a lot like the time you entered Miguel’s lab and found him overwhelmed, upset, but more than anything, hurt at the discovery of hidden photos and videos of Gabby and his wife by Lyla. You recall the way it felt to have stepped into the lab and you wonder now if that’s what awaits for you because you quickly make up your mind.
You’re ignoring Jess’s message.
Two years ago, you would've simply oblige and made no questions. You would’ve try not to think about your boss and wonder what he did all day, wondered if anyone dropped off food for him, or if he even left the lab in his own discrete ways to eat and drink something, to nourish his body. You would've hoped that he'd at least let either Jess or Peter B. check on him.
Two years ago, you wouldn't had done it yourself nor pushed his boundaries because you were a simple member, not one of his close ones.
Two years ago, that would’ve been the end of it, even if you silently worried about Miguel from a distance.
Today? Things are different.
Two years ago Miguel and you hardly talked, hardly interacted.
Now, you're best friends, and best friends don't leave each other alone. They don't give up on you. They keep trying just like Miguel said Harry and your other former friends from a lifetime ago should’ve with you.
With a determined nod, you continue to make your way to Miguel's lab. As usual, there's other spider members walking around. You catch a few checking their gizmos, making you wonder if they’re reading Jess’s message regarding Miguel. You nod at a few, at least at those you're not too familiar with or who might be new. To those you do know and have more of a bond with, you give them a quick and simple greeting, not opening for conversation, not when you want to see Miguel already.
You turn the corner and it’s only thanks to your spidey senses going off that you don’t run into -
“Ben,” you say, recognizing him instantly.
Ben Reilly's eyebrows shoot up, surprise visible on his face. He shifts slightly. “Y/N… Hey.” He offers a smile, scratching his neck.
“Hey,” you greet him back, returning a small smile even though you're in a rush. “I'll see you around!” you say, walking around him, determined to reach your destination.
“Hey, Y/N!” Ben calls out, turning to face you quickly. “I was wondering if I could talk to you about something…?”
You turn to face him, walking backwards with both your hands occupied with the food and drinks.
“Of course. Can we talk …” you trail off. “Later? I'm in the middle of something. I'm sorry,” you apologize softly.
He sighs subtly, his shoulders slumping just barely before he fixes his excellent posture. “I understand. I'll look for you later today.”
“Alright. That sounds good. I'll see you later, Ben. Careful if you go on missions!” You offer him a quick smile before you turn away once more and hurry off, leaving Ben behind.
He sighs again, running a hand through his hair that earns him a few glances of interest from other spider members. He watches you become smaller and smaller as you retrace steps you take each day.
Everyone knows where you're going and who you're seeking: the one person they were told to not disturb today.
That person’s door is closed to them but not for a few people like Jess Drew, Peter B. Parker, and now you.
He huffs and turns away, heading to the training sector for a workout session to sweat his frustrations away. He turns for one more glance, seeing you disappear into the elevator and heading for Miguel's floor.
You reach the lab doors, wondering if you’ll be turned away. A few seconds later, relief washes over you when Lyla confirms, after asking Miguel, that you can go in.
As far as Miguel knows, you have no idea what today is, so you offer him breakfast, which he thankfully accepts. You both sit on his elevated platform and eat in silence, legs dangling from it. As you eat, you remind yourself that you agreed to saying nothing, to pretend like you don’t know. You stay true to that even though your mind is a mess, even though you want to do more than just offer Miguel food.
However, you say nothing as you eat. Even after breakfast, you reveal nothing. You don’t want Miguel to feel pressured to say anything just because you know, behind his back. No, if he says anything, you hope it’s because Miguel is ready and comfortable doing so.
So, you stick with him for a while, working silently from your own area in the lab now knowing that his behavior has nothing to do with something you may have done or said, or your mere presence as you were worrying about yesterday. At some point you leave him because you’re needed by Jess, so you do so reluctantly.
For lunch time, it’s the same with the small difference that you both make small talk. The hours tick by and when you look at your gizmo, it’s suddenly three in the afternoon. Due to Jess’s warning, no one sends Miguel messages except for Jess, nor does anyone show up to the lab. It’s just Miguel, Lyla, and you.
You yourself get a few messages from the spider gang, asking if Miguel is alright and why you’ve been hiding at his lab all day. You reassure them both Miguel and you are physically alright. You don’t know what else to say. It’s not your place to share something so sensitive and personal, especially when you’re not supposed to even know.
Standing up, you stretch quietly, remembering that Ben Reilly wanted to talk to you. You figure you should make yourself available at least for an hour. He hasn’t sent you any messages, so you wonder if he’s already aware that you’ve been at Miguel’s lab for the majority of the day, hence the reason for the lack of messages from his end. You pack your things silently, shutting the laptop and fixing the area, which catches Miguel’s attention.
On his platform, he turns to look at you. Seeing you pack up makes him realize you’re probably not coming back because if you were, you would be leaving your desk as it was. Watching you push the chair under the desk only solidifies the fact.
“Heading… out?” Miguel asks, starting the conversation for the first time in days.
It catches you by surprise, so much it’s clearly expressed on your face. It immediately pains Miguel, to see how surprised you are that he’s talking to you. His hands close into fists at his sides, cursing mentally.
“… Yes,” you reply, picking up your empty cup. “I’m heading out.”
Miguel nods, his expression neutral but quickly morphing into a pained one.
“Migs…?” you say softly, quickly noticing his expression changing.
“Mierda [shit],” Miguel whispers, looking away and unable to stop himself from thinking he’s undeserving of your nickname. A nickname, or a term of endearment, is a gesture from someone who cares about you, and here he is, hurting you with his behavior. Seeing the surprise look on your face just seconds ago solidifies that. Miguel’s guilt only intensifies as the look on your face flashes in his mind. You don’t hurt those that you care for and care about you, but now he has hurt you to some degree.
“Miguel?” you try again.
“I’m - I’m sorry,” Miguel says, exhaling deeply with a remorseful tone. “I’m … sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
Hearing Miguel say that throws all ideas about leaving out the window. You place the cup down and make your way to him, his head hanging low.
“Miguel,” you say once more, gently.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats, lifting his head enough so you can see his face.
“Don’t,” you say. “Don’t apologize.”
“You deserve an apology,” Miguel replies. “I’ve been - I haven’t been in a good mood… I need to tell you something.”
“You don’t have to, Miguel,” you counter gently.
“I do. You deserve an explanation,” Miguel continues with a sigh, shaking his head in frustration at himself. “I saw the surprise on your face from me talking to you. You shouldn’t be surprised by that, but you are because I’ve been - a jerk.”
You sigh, standing on his platform. “You’re not a jerk, Miguel.” You state firmly. “I… I was wondering what was the matter,” you pause, wanting to be honest. “Don’t be mad at Lyla but… She told me a few hours ago. Some time before you returned to the penthouse this morning from the gym.”
“Lyla,” Miguel says, not even upset. “A part of me is relieved you already know… I should’ve told you sooner, but I couldn’t…” Miguel shakes his head, his eyes closed. He gulps softly. “It’s her birthday,” Miguel whispers, finally sharing from his own lips what has been on his mind all these past few days. ”Today is Gabby’s birthday.”
Nodding, you take a step closer. “I know,” you start. “I know it’s her birthday…” you reply, not knowing what else to say right now. To be honest, you weren’t expecting Miguel to tell you today. “I know it must be hard to share that,” you add softly.
Miguel sighs gently, nodding. “May I be honest?”
“Yeah, of course,” you whisper.
“I don’t want to be here right now.”
Your eyebrows furrow and you’re filled with worry instantly, for a second thinking that Miguel means something else, something much sadder, darker.
“I want to be home,” he goes on, clarifying. “I don’t want to be here, trying to distract myself from my thoughts about her.”
You sigh in relief, nodding. “We can go home, if you want?”
Miguel nods, wanting now more than ever to leave his lab. “Lyla, please let Jess know I’m going home,” Miguel says before correcting himself. “Let her know we’re both going home, dulzura and me.”
-♡-
Back at home, Miguel takes a shower while you begin to prepare an early dinner. You know that there’s essentially nothing in the whole multiverse that can lessen Miguel’s hurt today, but you hope that a homemade meal will sooth his heart just a little.
When he comes back downstairs, showered and dressed in lounging clothes, you fix him a plate before joining him. He doesn’t say anything else about Gabby, which you respect. You’re grateful he’s at least told you about Gabby’s birthday and that you’re both home eating together instead of him staying after hours at HQ before coming home and hiding at the gym.
Even after dinner and cleaning the kitchen, you’re unsure of what to do. You search for silent cues from Miguel. Does he want to be alone or is he okay with you being near him? You receive your answer when Miguel asks if you want to watch TV together, a question that leaves you a little surprised to start with, but one you answer with a “yes.”
You sit together in the living room. As always, you’re both on your respective couches.
Miguel watches the TV, or tries to. His attention is not fully on it for obvious reasons. Gabby is always on his mind, along with Gabriel, but due to her birthday coming up, she’s been even more so. He’s been thinking about it for days, about his little girl and how old she’d be turning today. It pains him so much, knowing she’s not here. He’s been trying to distract himself with work at HQ and then working out at the gym, going for hours so he doesn’t think about the fact that Gabby isn’t here - that she won’t be celebrating her birthday like she should.
He turns his head to look at the windows, the sun setting now. He’s reminded of yesterday when he was in his room after dinner. He found himself watching the sunset from there and in that short amount of time while the sun dipped, he thought about you. He heard you entering your room shortly after him and he wondered if you were watching it, too. He typed the message but before sending it, he changed his mind.
Miguel turns to look at you now, sitting on the couch, keeping him company. His guilt washes over him again at the sight. You denied it earlier but he’s such a jerk for the way he’s been behaving, there’s no way to deny it, at least not in his eyes.
He sighs. He promised he was going to try, didn’t he? He promised for Gabby and Gabriel. He was going to try to heal, to move forward.
It’s that thought that compels Miguel to stand up from the couch, telling you that he’d be back before heading upstairs.
You simply nod and stay in place, hoping Miguel truly does come back. To your relief, Miguel returns a few minutes later, holding a guitar.
You recognize it instantly from Miguel’s ofrenda [altar] for Día de los Muertos [Day of the Dead] as Miguel approaches you, who then takes a seat on the ground next to you. You join him a few seconds later without a doubt, watching him hold the guitar carefully.
“It’s the only thing… The only physical reminder I have left of Gabby. It was pure… Coincidence that I still have it,” Miguel shares, staring at the guitar. “A day before her universe collapsed, she asked me to fix the strings for her, so I brought it to HQ to work on it. Unfortunately, there were a lot of things happening that day. It was one thing or another. Every time I lifted it to begin working on it, something or someone would pop up and prevent me from doing so. I ended up forgetting it at HQ that day. With so much happening, I left it in my lab. It was much later when I remembered it. That last night. When I got back to her universe just in time for school to be out, she didn’t ask for it. She was so tired from the school day, she didn’t remember it. Not even later in the afternoon when she was done with school work and was free to do what she wanted, whether that was coloring, or playing with her toys, or practicing the guitar. It was me who remembered it when I tucked her in for the night.”
Miguel brushes his fingers over the strings, gently. “I told myself I’d fix the guitar as soon as I got to the lab, so I could take it back to her… So I could hear her play it in the afternoon the next day.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “I had no idea that would be the last night… ever.”
Miguel doesn’t know why, but suddenly he feels like talking about that last night. He’s shared with you the last morning he spent with Gabby, just hours before one of the worst moments of his life took place.
“I used to think… After losing Gabriel, that nothing could ever hurt me as much. That there was nothing much worse that could happen to me. Nothing could ever, make me feel so much sorrow, grief, pain - and I was wrong. I never thought that I’d become a dad,” Miguel states, looking over the guitar, at the stickers that Gabby placed on it. “I never thought that I’d experience that, much less the loss of a child. I think - I know - a part of me always believed I was unworthy of such thing. I wasn’t meant for that life. Wasn’t meant to experience it. I was destined to be alone,” he continues. “And then she happened, and she - she was and continues to be one of the most beautiful things I’ve had the privilege of experiencing.”
Miguel shifts slightly, knowing you’re listening to him, like always.
“That last night, my wife and I cooked dinner. It was a normal evening, like any other. Gabby did her homework, got to play with her dolls afterwards. She had a lot, you know, but her favorites were the doctor and scientist dolls. Part of it was because they looked like her, and another part because of their professions.” Miguel smiles slightly, a sad smile. “In the short time I had with her, I always told her so. How they were mini versions of her in the future because she was so bright, so smart. I’d always tell her that she could do and be anything she wanted. I never once dampened her dreams nor her aspirations. I wanted her to know that she could be a scientist, or she could be a teacher, or she could be a bakery owner. It didn’t matter. As long as she wanted it and worked towards it, she could achieve anything, but I digress,” Miguel says, realizing he’s all over the place.
“She played with her dolls and showered afterwards. I arranged her school stuff for the morning. I always helped her prep her outfit the night before to save time in the morning, and made sure her backpack was set with her assistance to help her build responsibility, too, though I never struggled with that. She was so responsible for her age. She watched some TV that evening, and then, it was time for bed. I never missed bedtime,” Miguel continues, a fond smile on his face, his fingers splayed over the guitar.
“I loved tucking her in, reading to her. I’d climb into the bed to read to her sometimes. It was always a struggle, of course, and my back would be tense in the mornings, but it was worth it. So worth it. What I’d give… to repeat those moments. To be back in that cheerful bedroom and have her ask questions while seeking the comfort of her father… of her daddy.” Miguel sighs, thinking about that. How his heart would swell with a pure happiness unlike any other when she called him “dad” or “daddy.”
“I read to her that night and soon, she was drifting off. Sus ojitos [her little eyes; little is used as endearment, not meaning she had small eyes]… Her little eyes would flutter, trying to fight off the sleep to keep talking about the book. She’d blink real hard,” Miguel says with a soft chuckle, inhaling deeply and shakily. “Thinking it’d help her stay awake longer, but my little girl, she eventually doze off into a peaceful slumber with no worries. I was grateful for that, you know?” Miguel says turning to look at you. “There is no doubt in my mind that the original Miguel of that dimension was grateful for that, too. Gabby didn’t know what it was like to be ripped away from a peaceful dream because of your parents’ arguing in the living room. Nor did she have to worry about a younger sibling coming to her room to seek her comfort. I was always grateful that Miguel, the original of that dimension, had succeeded in providing such a safe space for her. And I was set on doing the same for her. I succeeded, too. So… she dozed off. I held her close,” Miguel whispers, recalling how it felt to hold his sleeping daughter in his arms.
“I remember thinking, ‘just a few more minutes. One day she’ll be all grown up, she may not want her dad’s affection anymore because she finds it embarrassing or uncool.’ So, I did. I stayed there with her. Now I wonder, if something deep inside me felt the danger coming. If I had sensed it somehow and I wanted to hold on to that moment - to her - just a little longer because something in me knew... knew that that would be the very last time I’d ever get to hold her like that, in such calm manner because the next day would be the very last time I held her, but under much different circumstances. That it’d be outside the comfort of her home with hundreds of frightened people running around us, seeking a safety that I couldn’t give to them because I didn’t understand what was happening.”
“Miguel,” you whisper gently, knowing to this day he blames himself for the collapse of Gabriella’s universe despite there being no evidence of such thing.
“I know,” he whispers back. “You’re too kind to me, so you don’t think I had something to do with it, but… my brain tells me so.”
“We still don’t know, you know that. There’s no evidence that suggests you did. Just because you were there, doesn’t mean you were responsible. It doesn’t make sense when so many of us have done the same, and yet those universes are still… here.” You inhale softly, hating the fact that Miguel still blames himself. You know it’s something that will take him time to let go, maybe until there’s further evidence that suggests otherwise. In Miguel’s mind, it’s not ‘innocent until proven guilty.’
It’s guilty until proven innocent.
“It probably doesn’t mean anything,” you start. “Because I know how these feelings can be rooted deep in us, despite any comforting words… but I don’t think you had anything to do with it, Miguel.”
He looks at you then, the pain in his eyes visible. “But what if it was me? I took everything from her. If I had stayed away - her universe might still be intact. She would be alive. She’d be celebrating today like she ought to,” Miguel says with desperation in his tone. “I ruined it. I should’ve never gone. I should’ve let things carry on like they were supposed to,” he insists.
“Miguel,” you say his name again but this time not in a whisper. You speak firmly, evenly. You almost lift your hand to place it on his shoulder but you remember not to. “I’m not saying that only because you’re my best friend,” you continue. “I wholeheartedly believe that you weren’t the cause. You’re not responsible for it. There’s something we’ve overlooked, the real cause. I have no doubt one day we’ll discover it, and it’ll show you that you were not at fault.”
“But what if I was?” he repeats. “She could’ve been alive today.”
“I’ve told you I don’t believe you are responsible. You know that, Miguel, but maybe there’s a chance she might have still been alive, if it wasn’t for the true cause of her universe’s collapse.” Next to you, Miguel huffs in frustration, as if he’s upset at your relentless faith that he had nothing to do with it. It frustrates you, the fact that he thinks you’re just trying to sooth his guilt. “Do you think it’s my fault Peter… passed away?”
That makes Miguel turn before he lowers the guitar to his lap. “What - no, of course not, dulzura. It wasn’t your fault,” he says, brows furrowed.
“Are you only saying that to make me feel better? Because we’re best friends?”
“Dulzura… No, of course not. It wasn’t your fault, and I mean that.”
“Then, can you believe that when I tell you that I don’t think you are responsible, I don’t say it only to make you feel better? Can you believe that I say it because I really do believe it?” you ask, holding his gaze with such a serious face that leaves no room for doubt or questioning.
Miguel blinks, keeping his gaze on you for several seconds. His gaze searches your face, so serious. He silently decides he doesn’t like such look on you - he prefers to see you smile, prefers the brightness in your eyes when you’re happy, when you’re in good spirits, but that serious face… Miguel sees you truly believe what you’re saying. You’re not only saying it to make him feel better, to reassure him, and lessen his guilt and pain. At last, he nods slowly.
“I can… a part of me can, but another part of me still feels an incredible guilt that I swear will never fade, no matter how much time passes,” he states softly. “I think about what she could’ve had, where she could’ve been. What she’d be in the future, the amazing things she could’ve done, and experienced.”
You sigh softly and nod. With deceased loved ones, there’s always those questions, especially when they pass away too soon, when there was so much for them to live and experience. You yourself have thought about Peter and all the things he never had the opportunity to experience nor accomplish. Then, there’s also the things that he didn’t even get a chance to wish for, or dream about. By now, he may have accomplished all his previous goals and dreams, and he might have been on to newer ones, but you’ll never know now. Still, you know that for however long he was alive, he lived a good life despite the few tragedies he experienced early on in life. He was a happy man, and he loved and was loved deeply.
“I know it’s a different age with Peter. He had the opportunity to live more but… That always hurt me to think about, too,” you admit. “About all the goals and dreams he had, about the ones he didn’t even get to think of.” You pause, looking at your hand for a few seconds. “A wise man once said, that seven years count the same as seventy, even seven hundred.” Looking up again, you find Miguel’s crimson eyes on the same hand you were just staring at before he lifts his gaze to yours. He raises an eyebrow, wondering, so you continue.
“Someone may live to ninety years and we think, ‘Wow. They’re so lucky.’ We imagine they lived and experienced so much, but that’s not always the case. Someone who only got to live nine or twenty-three years old may have lived more than the ninety year old person has. Just because we’ve had more years to live doesn’t mean we’ve actually lived, not for all of them,” you say softly, looking away. “I didn’t live for many years. I stopped when I lost Peter.”
Hearing you say that breaks Miguel’s heart, brings him so much pain.
“It’s probably… stupid and maybe even cringe,” you say with a smile and shrug, which for some reason pains Miguel even more. “My heart functioned, and I was alive, but I didn’t feel like it. I didn’t actually live over that time. And I didn’t even realize until much later, when I joined the Spider Society, how dull I had truly become. There’s still moments, even now, when I realize that all over again. Like, when I look at sunsets and realize I looked at sunsets during those times but I wasn’t really looking at them… if that makes sense. It was as if I was looking through a screen, someone else’s life. And then, I started to learn to live again. So… I’m sure you know where I’m getting at with this,” you say, looking at him again, at last.
“Gabby may have only lived for nine years but every single one of them counted as living. Her biological father, from what you’ve shared, loved her so much and gave her a safe and comfortable life with so much love, which you continue when you stepped up to be her dad. In her nine years of life… She knew and most importantly, felt, the important things. Unconditional love. Comfort. Happiness. Safety. That’s more than some ninety, or even forty year old have ever experienced despite being alive for several decades… because they haven’t lived. I wish Peter… Gabby, Gabriel - were here now. That they were able to still be here and live longer. That wish will never fade, not truly, I don’t think, but personally?” You offer Miguel a smile. “I’m thankful Peter knew and felt all those things - that he was able to experience them when so many don’t.”
With that, you look away and lean back on the couch, allowing Miguel to either absorb your words, or reject them.
“She was loved,” Miguel states almost a minute later of silence. “She was so loved. By both her biological dad, and then me. I’m grateful for that,” he whispers. “I’m grateful she knew love, kindness. That she knew happiness, comfort, and safety. Like every child should.” Whispering that, Miguel sighs. His head lowers to look at the guitar, his mind flooded with memories of Gabby being happy. He can’t help but feel a new wave of guilt at the fact that on a day that she’d be very happy on, he’s feeling this way.
Like a bolt of lightning, he’s reminded of Gabriel suddenly, of his words, to be exact, from his dream a year ago. He asked Miguel to live for them. Then, there’s also your words from a few weeks ago when you witnessed one of his nightmares for the first time. You said to honor them - to live how they would live if they were here.
Thinking about that, Miguel clears his throat. “You always bake a cake for Peter on his birthday.”
“I do,” you reply, looking over at him with curiosity. You didn’t expect the sudden change of conversation.
“You do it because that’s what you would’ve done if he was still around.”
“Yes.”
Miguel nods, thinking. He’s never bought or baked a cake for Gabriel or his mother. He’s never celebrated their birthdays after they passed away. That includes Gabriella.
He looks down at his gizmo. It’s not too late… Surely a bakery is still open. Maybe they still have cakes.
“Miguel?” you ask softly, noticing him looking at his gizmo.
“I… I think I want to buy her a cake,” he says looking up at you.
“You… do?”
Miguel nods, rapidly realizing he really wants to do this. “Yes. I want to. She deserves it.” He places the guitar on the coffee table and begins to stand up. “I’m going to check the bakeries and see if I can find a cake she’d like. Maybe I’ll have luck.”
Noticing Miguel begin to stand up, you stand up, too, and before you can stop yourself, you make an offer. “I can bake her one, if you want.”
Miguel freezes, looking at you. “You?… Really?” he asks, his entire face softening and lighting up. His tone is gentle, filled with awe and wonder, as if you’ve just made him the greatest offer in history.
With a nod, you smile and reply. “Yes, really. We can bake one together, if you want to help. You know I love baking, so I have almost anything I could need to bake a cake. Just say the word, Migs,” you answer softly.
The nickname, your smile, and offer brings a smile to Miguel’s face. He nods slowly, standing completely now. “Si, por favor [yes, please]. That would mean so much to me… and Gabby.”
You gesture to the kitchen. “C’mon.”
Miguel follows after you, carrying Gabby’s guitar, so precious to him.
You set the oven to preheat, already knowing how to use it since you’ve baked a lot at the penthouse since you’ve lived here. You have Miguel decide the shape, so you find the round cake mold when he politely requests a round one. He retrieves the mixer and the few ingredients he knows will be used, letting you tell him what else is needed so he can help.
As you stated, you have a little of everything so you give him plenty of options for the type of bread, filling, and icing.
Miguel quickly decides the filling should be out of strawberries since Gabby loved them, apparently they were her favorite fruit. For the actual bread, he decides to go with chocolate - it was also a favorite of little Gabby.
Once that’s settled, you begin working with the help of Miguel though your years of baking do not require it. You let him though because you know it’s special to him. It’s for his little girl, after all. So you let him pour the ingredients into the mixing bowl while you work on other things towards the cake.
The more you move through the process together, the more Miguel slowly begins to tell you about Gabby. It’s as if his mind is flooded with random little memories all fighting for his attention. You listen intently to every word, smiling and chuckling with him when he tells you something funny she did or said once.
He’s already shared some of the moments he talks about, but you still listen to him, noticing the glimmer of happiness in his eyes while talking about his Gabby.
As you bake and Miguel shares with you all these moments, you picture them in your head. You see Miguel carrying Gabby on his shoulders, her toothy smile on display. You see Gabby giggling when Miguel accidentally let go of the hair tie and it snapped against his finger while doing her hair. There’s Miguel making Gabby Choco Milk in her favorite cup, and the one time Gabby asked where babies came from out of nowhere, which Miguel didn’t know how to answer in the moment, so he told her he’d find that out and let her know later on.
“What about music?” you ask softly when you pull the pan out of the oven a while later. “What did she like? You’ve mentioned her favorite song before… ‘Luna de Xelajú’, but what else did she like?”
Miguel smiles softly at the fact that you remember her favorite song. “That was her favorite song, yes. She liked other songs, of course. Different genres and artists of all ages. She even liked Joan Sebastian,” Miguel says amused. “She sang some of his songs like she understood matters of the heart already. Then, there were some that always made her dance, like this song called ‘No rompas mi corazón’ - there’s a dance for it. It’s played at parties sometimes,” Miguel shares, not sure if you’re familiar with it.
“It’s something like this,” Lyla says popping out of nowhere, showing you a video of people dancing at a party.
“I know of it,” you say with a smile, not surprised that Lyla has made an appearance. She tends to pop up sometimes out of nowhere when both Miguel and you least expect her. “So Gabby danced to it?”
“Yeah, she’d hear it and it’s like her feet were tingling to move. She’d get so excited every time it came on,” he says with a smile. “She’d dance and look at me and say ‘¡mira, mira, papá! [look, look, papa]’… But there was one artist she absolutely adored, her favorite artist. Selena.”
“Selena?” you ask, surprised. Of course you know of her. “A version of her existed in Gabby’s universe?”
“Yes, but unlike in so many universes where her life is cut short, this version peacefully passed away before Gabby was born out of old age. She had a large and happy family. Gabby told me so,” Miguel says. “She knew a lot about her.”
“What was her favorite song of hers?”
Miguel smiles. “It was ‘Baila Esta Cumbia’ - she’d dance to it, too.”
“Do you want me to… play it?” Lyla asks Miguel while you work on the cake, wondering what his answer will be. It might be too soon for him.
Miguel stays silent for several seconds, thinking. It’s been so long since he’s heard the song, or any of the music that Gabby used to enjoy listening.
“Lyla can always turn it off,” you offer softly as you work, glancing at him for a few seconds before continuing to work on the cake. “If you decide to.”
He hums softly at your words, drumming his fingers against his thigh. At last, he nods to Lyla and a few seconds later, the upbeat song begins to play, filling the kitchen and lifting the mood.
Miguel watches you work on the cake, his finger tapping against his thigh to the beat, thinking about Gabby.
“If only she were here now,” he mumbles softly. He wonders if she’d still like the song, or if she’d have a new favorite song by Selena, if she’d still even be a fan of Selena to begin with. He wonders, just like he wonders about other things, what her music taste would be like now.
He leans forward, resting his elbows on the counter and interlocking his fingers to press against his forehead, looking at the counter surface for a few seconds before closing his eyes and just listening to the song.
He can pretend for a few seconds that she’s here, that she’s singing happily to the song and doing her little dances. He hears the ‘eh, eh, eh,’ part and recalls how she’d sing that part, clapping her small hands to it.
He uncovers his face, lowering his hands to the counter. “You heard that part? The ‘eh, eh, eh?’ She used to clap along with it,” Miguel shares, smiling softly. “She was always so elated when it played. It cheered her up.”
Miguel makes it without crying for the rest of the song, so Lyla deems it safe to play other songs she thinks are appropriate for what could’ve been Gabby’s birthday party. She keeps it light with the music as you work on the cake while Miguel shares other tidbits of Gabby.
After some time, you add the last candle before turning it around so Miguel can see it, his eyes softening immediately at the finished cake.
“What do you think?” you ask him as his eyes take in every detail about it.
He nods, eyebrows knitted gently before he turns his attention to you, smiling tenderly. “It’s… Beautiful, dulzura,” he states softly, his tone full of sincerity. “It’s so Gabby. She would’ve loved it, I know that. Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he whispers accepting the cake as you hand it to him with a warm smile, happy that Miguel likes the cake.
You find a lighter and reach Miguel’s side, not worried about washing dishes since Miguel got most of them while you were working to help, and even then, neither of you would’ve cared in order to celebrate.
At last, you both look at it, at the completed cake, sitting side by side while music still plays in the background.
Miguel continues to observe it, admiring your work with the details like the little bees and the sprinkle of lilac flowers. He doesn’t fail to notice the color you used to write ‘Happy Birthday, Gabby!!’ with - the color Selena was most known for, that rich purple.
“She…” Miguel starts, his voice soft and quiet, as he thinks about her. About Gabby. “She would’ve loved it.” He whispers, a knot forming in his throat. “Thank you - she would’ve loved it, so much.”
“The bees and her favorite color,” you say. “I thought she might have.”
“She would. She really would,” Miguel replies lifting a hand to his face. He tries to be subtle about it, but from your peripheral vision, you can see the action, the way he wipes at his eye.
You feel tears yourself but for Miguel, you try to stay calm, try to be strong. However, seeing someone you care for so much cry has never made it easy. A few tears pool in your eyes, blurring your vision. Biting your bottom lip because you feel it quivering, you dab at your eyes gently, trying to make the gesture subtle, too.
“Do you want me to…?” you ask raising the lighter.
Miguel turns, sniffling. Noticing the lighter, he nods. “… Please,” he whispers.
Miguel doesn’t need to say anything else. His simple response is all you need, so you lit the candles carefully, watching the cake come to life with their flickering.
You both stare at it, unbeknownst to either of you, imagining the same thing: a Gabriella standing behind the counter, her eyes lit up with happiness, her face illuminated by the gentle glow of the candles. There’s a beautiful, toothy smile on her face as she listens to the people around her sing happy birthday before she gets to make a wish and blow the candles.
You can imagine Miguel taking pictures from the very back to avoid blocking anyone's views due to his height with a happy, warm, and sweet smile on his face to see his little girl turn one year older.
Then, there's Gabby looking at the camera still smiling once she has made her wish, guests cheering and clapping.
And maybe, just to keep up with traditions - Miguel would gently get a little bit of icing on Gabby’s nose with his hand, but remaining alert that no one tries to push his daughter into the cake.
“Están son… las mañanitas [these are… the beloved mornings],” Miguel starts singing, his voice low. “Que cantaba el rey David. Hoy por ser día de tu santo, te las cantamos a ti. Despierta - [That King David sang. Today being your saint’s day (same as birthday), we sing them for you. Wake up -]” Miguel pauses, inhaling sharply. “Mi niña, despierta. Mira que ya amaneció… ya los pajaritos cantan, la luna ya se metió [My little girl, wake up. Look, the sun is up… the little birds sing, the moon is gone]…” he sings softly, trailing off.
The next part of the song carries on, credit to Lyla. She starts playing it from where Miguel left off, Vicente Fernandez's voice filling the kitchen.
You sit by, listening to the music and how Miguel sings a song he's known and sang many times in his childhood for friends and Gabriel, but one he never had the opportunity to sing for Gabby.
Despite wanting to join him, you let Miguel do it on his own, respecting he’d want to do so.
“Con jazmines y flores, este día quiero adornar. Hoy, por ser día de tu santo, te venimos a cantar [With jasmine and flowers, this day I want to decorate. Today, for being your saint’s day, we come to sing],” Miguel finishes at last, his voice just a tad louder than when he first started. He clears his throat, wiping some tears from his eyes.
“Do you want to sing ‘Happy Birthday,’ too?” you ask gently.
“… Yeah, would you…?” he asks taking a moment to swallow. “Join me?”
Of course, you nod. How could you ever decline Miguel when it comes to his daughter? Never.
And so, the two of you sing to Gabby.
”Cha, cha, cha” Miguel adds at the end. He turns to face you, his cheeks dusted with redness. “We always did that in the family at the end. Right before the ‘queremos pastel’ and ‘que lo parta’ - Gabriel used to love that when he was little [we want cake; cut it (referring to the cake)],” Miguel shares a fond smile on his face, his eyes misty with tears before turning to look at the cake again.
By this point, the birthday girl should’ve made her wish and blown the candles. He swallows harshly, realizing. Someone needs to blow the candles. He pulls the cake closer to himself, feeling the heat from the candles. He turns to look at you then, a sudden thought popping into his mind.
“I was going to blow the candles… Would you like to do it with me?” Miguel asks softly, his eyes searching your face for any discomfort. He knows he might be asking for too much already. You’ve done so much by baking the cake, by being so thoughtful with the details that he has no doubt Gabby would’ve loved and gushed about.
Now, he’s asking this extra thing from you, asking you to join him in blowing the birthday candles for someone you didn’t have the opportunity to meet, but the way you talk about Gabby and how you look at her pictures on the wall lets Miguel know you care about her as if you had known her personally.
And not just Gabriella, but Gabriel, too. You’ve told him how you wish they were around, so you could’ve met them and known them, something that always makes his heart swell with tenderness and happiness. How he wishes they were around for that, too, to meet you.
Knowing how you feel about two of the most important people in his life, makes Miguel feel a little less worried. Still, he searches your face to make sure he isn’t placing you in an uncomfortable position. However, when he meets your eyes, he finds no discomfort at all.
You nod gently. “If you wish me to.”
“Yes, please. If you’re okay with it,” he replies, still holding your gaze, giving you an option.
“I’m okay with it... In honor of Gabby,” you respond warmly, images of the little girl still flashing in your mind, thinking how much different this would be if she was here.
Miguel might still have tears in his eyes, but they’d be happy ones. Maybe a little bittersweet knowing that his kid is growing older, but he’d be happy because he gets to celebrate his daughter - because he’s a dad and he has family.
You wonder if some spider members, like the spider gang, would’ve been invited to the party, whether it’d be a small or medium size gathering. You wonder what the decorations might be like. Miguel would’ve gone all out, no corners cut to celebrate, no doubt. He would’ve probably blown balloons and stuck decorations on the walls. He would’ve planned the party for weeks, so it would be perfect for Gabby.
He would’ve ordered a cake with plenty of time to make sure there were no problems. If he was unable to pick it up himself, he would’ve sent his most trusted person to pick it up. Probably not Miles after he share the incident with his dad’s cakes when he became captain though.
Maybe it would’ve been Jess if she was available. Or, maybe even Ben Reilly. Maybe his wife if they were still together.
Or maybe, he would’ve asked you if you were still friends in this alternative scenario.
Either way, the cake would’ve been left to someone trustworthy while Miguel got other things completed. There would’ve probably been party hats passed out, the penthouse filled with people. You wonder what Miguel would have ordered for food, or whether he might have cooked it himself because Gabby requested her favorite foods for her birthday.
You think back to Dia de los Muertos [Day of the Dead] and the foods Miguel offered for Gabby’s ofrenda [altar]. Would she had requested some of those foods? You remember she especially loved Miguel’s breakfasts, specifically pancakes with chocolate chips.
Perhaps Miguel would’ve made that for her this morning. He would’ve woken up early, but not to head to HQ. No, the reason why Miguel would’ve woken up early would’ve been to make Gabriella her favorite breakfast, if it was the same to this day, of course. He would’ve cooked for her and then woken her up at an appropriate time, las mañanitas [the birthday song, Mexico’s version] playing thanks to Lyla.
You imagine her waking up, the sleepiness wearing off her face as she realizes it’s her birthday. Perhaps Miguel met her at her bed, giving her a tight bear hug, wondering how it’s possible that his daughter has turned a year older, wondering where time is going, hoping that she doesn’t grow up too soon.
He may have pushed his thoughts away, trying to avoid the bittersweet feelings and focusing on making sure that Gabby’s birthday is perfect, so he’d tell her to come to the kitchen only to surprise her with favorite breakfast, hinting at a special day ahead with the birthday party scheduled for the afternoon. And oh, you know he would’ve left HQ early. Nothing, no mission or anomaly, would’ve prevented him from making it to his daughter’s party.
You sigh softly at the thoughts, the wishes for Miguel and Gabby. How you wish they could’ve had today.
Maybe in another universe, still undiscovered by the Spider Society, a Miguel had the privilege of doing that with another version of Gabby today.
“One… Two…” Miguel counts softly, thinking of what could’ve been today - of all the ways he would’ve made sure today was perfect for his daughter. If only they could’ve had today. If only they could’ve had a full lifetime.
“Three,” you both whisper before leaning forward and blowing the candles.
You both watch as the small trails of smoke rise above the cake, leaning back once more.
“Feliz Cumpleaños, mija [Happy Birthday, my daughter],” Miguel whispers tenderly. “I hope wherever you are… That you’re celebrating with Miguel and your uncle Gabriel. Maybe with your grandmother Conchata, too, if she’s available. Te quiero, y te sigo extrañando. Como siempre [I love you, and I keep missing you. Like always].”
“Happy Birthday, Gabby…” you say gently after gulping a small knot in your throat due to Miguel’s words. “I hope you’re having a lovely day with Gabriel and your other dad. I hope there’s lots of pan dulce [Mexican sweet bread], especially pink conchas [seashell shaped pan dulce], and your favorite Mexican candy.”
Miguel chuckles, ducking his head to wipe the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand.
“Pink conchas and Mexican candy. That would make her day,” he says straightening up, smiling despite the tears. He dries them again, sighing. He turns to look at you, filled with ternura [tenderness]. “Thank you for your sweet words, for agreeing to blow the candles with me, for the cake…” He pauses. “Thank you for everything. I hope you know how much it means to me, how much I appreciate it - thank you, dulzura,” he whispers gently, sincerely.
You smile at him, nodding. “Always, Miguel,” you whisper.
He smiles softly before it fades, his expression turning to an apologetic one. “The last few days…”
“Don’t worry about it,” you reply.
“No, I do,” he states firmly, shifting closer. He turns his body to face you fully, his legs touching your leg closest to him. “I… want to say I’m sorry. I haven’t been… It’s been a few hard days knowing her birthday was coming up, and I… It still hurts,” he says. “It still hurts and instead of talking about it with you, I just - partially shut down, like I used to before… You,” Miguel confesses. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable the last few days, making it seem like I didn’t want to be around you. I wanted to but I didn’t want to burden you with all of this.” He sighs. “I didn’t want to cast my rain on you.”
“Cast your rain on me?” you question, tilting your head to the side. “You know that’s… what friends are for.” You give him a reassuring smile. “I understand though… About it hurting and shutting down. It’s okay,” you reassure Miguel. “And you don’t need to apologize. I was worried but… I understand.”
“I do need to apologize,” Miguel insists. “If it was you, I would’ve…” Miguel trails off, scratching his neck. “I would’ve felt that you were pushing me away without a reason. I never want to make you feel like that,” he shares unable to look you in the eyes, so he focuses on the cake again while he speaks. He reads Gabby’s name on it before turning back to you. “I’m sorry, dulzura. I’m still learning.”
“It’s alright, Miguel,” you tell him again. “Should we… cut the cake?”
“You refuse to accept my apology,” he says, brows furrowed.
“Is that necessary?”
“It was a jerk move.”
“I don’t see it that way, but if it makes you feel better, apology accepted,” you reply, flashing him a small smile. “I appreciate your apology, and your willingness to share what’s been going on.”
Miguel nods at that, relieved that you’ve accepted his apology for the way he’s been acting recently.
You nod back, still smiling.“Cake time?”
“Cake time,” Miguel answers with a small smile.
You both turn your attention to the cake again just in time to see two candles sparkling and then flickering back to full life for a few seconds before they go out again, on their own.
With knitted eyebrows, you turn to look at each other, equally surprised by the short moment before turning your attention back to the cake.
As you remain sitting, watching the cake, the mood changes to a significantly lighter one, as if something physically tugged a heavy cloak from your shoulders to relieve them.
For a few seconds, neither of you say anything, basking in the new and light atmosphere that descends on the two of you like falling leaves in autumn.
“I’ll get the knife and plates,” you say breaking the silence after a few seconds.
“I’ll get us drinks and utensils,” Miguel replies before you both gather everything on the counter and prepare to cut the cake.
You hand him the knife so he can do the honors but at the last second he pulls back. “Wait,” he says. “Before I cut it - Lyla?”
“Yes, jefe [boss]?” Lyla says appearing in front of you.
“Can you… Can you take a photo of it?” Miguel asks her.
With a little grin, Lyla nods. “I got you covered. I’ve already taken a few…” she admits. “But I’ll take one more.” With that, she takes one more photo, which she displays for you to see. “What do we think? You outdid yourself, D, by the way.”
“D?” Miguel and you say at the same time.
Lyla turns and smirks. “Well, Miguel gave you ‘Dulzura,' so I figured I could call you D.”
“Oh,” you say, not sure if you’re up for that.
“I don’t think that’s…” Miguel trails off, not liking it himself, but at least Lyla isn’t trying to call you dulzura either. For some reason the idea of someone else calling you that, even if it’s his own AI assistant, rubs him the wrong way, but he doesn’t say that. “I think… Maybe consider something else.“
“Fine. I see neither of you are happy with it. You outdid yourself, Y/N. There. Better?” Lyla says rolling her eyes. “The longer you two spend time together, the more you team up against me. It’s so unfair.”
Miguel and you chuckle.
“And now they’re laughing at me. Humans,” Lyla mumbles under her breath. “Are you cutting the cake or not?”
“Yeah, yeah, we’re cutting the cake,” Miguel says. “Thank you for taking the photo, L.”
“L?” Lyla repeats, offended.
“It’s for Lyla,” you say with a smile, making Miguel smirk softly since you’re following along with his teasing.
“You’re not calling me ‘L’ - I reject that,” Lyla replies, crossing her arms over chest.
“We’ll think of another nickname then,” Miguel replies, positioning the knife to cut the cake at last.
“Finally!” Lyla says. “Queremos pastel [we want cake]!”
“Queremos pastel [we want cake],” Miguel repeats, lowering the knife, imagining for a second that Gabby is the one cutting it, not him. He imagines himself taking photos from the back to capture the moment. “Queremos pastel, pastel, pastel [we want cake, cake, cake].”
You smile, listening to Miguel say ‘we want cake’ as he finally slices it. Lyla and you clap softly, which warms Miguel’s heart.
“Happy Birthday, Gabby!” Lyla says, smiling fondly at the cake. “I wish I could eat cake,” she adds frowning.
“You have no idea what you’re missing out on,” Miguel says with a smile as he cuts two slices, one for each of you.
“You don’t have to rub it in, Miguel,” she replies with a huff as she watches Miguel fix you a plate first, carefully placing it in front of you before fixing his own.
You wait until Miguel has his plate ready and then, you both try the cake at the same time.
You both sigh in content as the flavors melt in your mouth, pleased with it. Of course, there was no doubt in your minds that it was going to be good, especially not in Miguel’s mind. He loves your baking and cooking, but especially your baking since it satisfies his sweet tooth. So he had no doubt your baking was going to be excellent as always.
You both go for a second slice, which you take to the living room for more comfort after storing the remainder of the cake away. Miguel brings Gabby’s guitar along, placing it next to him on the floor. You’ve returned to the same spots from earlier, sitting side by side on the ground.
Lyla disappeared at some point while Miguel served the second slices, unusually quiet as she glanced between you before flickering away, so it’s just the two of you and light music for now as you eat your extra slices of cake.
Finishing with his, Miguel clears his throat and carefully dabs his mouth clean with a napkin. He rests his back on the couch, smiling gently as he watches you bring the fork to your mouth to eat.
“As always, your baking was incredible,” he compliments you. “Thank you for baking it. I believe Gabby would’ve loved it.”
“I’m happy and flattered to hear that,” you reply with a smile.
“She would be - probably giving you a lot of hugs right now.”
That makes you smile brighter, a warm feeling in your chest grows at the simple idea of Gabby loving her birthday cake so much that she’d give you a hug, or multiple.
“I would’ve accepted every single one of them,” you answer, still smiling.
“And returned them,” Miguel adds, knowing you so well. “You would’ve returned every single hug Gabby gave you and then add one or two more.”
“You know me too well,” you say chuckling before you take a sip from your glass. “I would’ve.”
Miguel picks up the guitar, a small smile on his face still. He brushes his fingers against the strings, thinking.
“The last few days were hard, knowing that her birthday was approaching. It’s hard, still,” he says, looking at it. “I didn’t expect for it to hurt less so soon, of course, but it always hurts to think she didn’t turn a year older, even if that would’ve been bittersweet.”
“In a way, I think I know what that would’ve felt like,” Miguel continues, his lips almost pouting. “I watched Gabriel grow older before my own eyes and it always made me feel bittersweet, to see my little brother grow older. I imagine I would’ve felt something similar with Gabby… but it’s not only that that hurts. It hurts that I can’t visit her somewhere. There’s nowhere for me to go. To visit her. I can go and visit my mom and Gabriel, but Gabriella… She’s gone. Really gone. There’s no resting place for her - because there’s no… her,” Miguel whispers, looking at the guitar in his hands.
To think he was the last one to hold her, his arms were the last thing she felt. “I was the last one to hold her. The last thing she felt… were my arms around her. That’s brought me some… comfort over time. She didn’t suffer in her last moments, not physically. I don’t know what I would’ve done if she had.” Miguel’s eyes shut tight, his head lowering. He would’ve hated himself so much more than he does already for not stopping what happened.
After several seconds of silence, he opens his eyes. “But as I was saying… there’s nowhere to see her. Nowhere to offer her flowers. I would visit her every day if there was. I would change her flowers every few days. I would’ve visited today and taken some things for her but there’s nowhere to go.”
You listen intently to Miguel, nodding as he talks. The very same thought has come to your mind before, about how Gabby doesn’t have a resting place, somewhere for Miguel to visit her. You remember thinking about it a while back, imagining how much harder it would be for someone like Miguel to heal from his loss when there’s no resting place for Gabby because her universe collapsed.
“It’s something I think about often, but I can’t do anything about it,” Miguel says playing a few strings.
You hum softly, staying quiet for a few moments and simply watching Miguel as his fingers move over the strings, not playing. “I can imagine, Miguel,” you reply gently after some seconds.
You look over to the wall, your gaze finding the photographs you helped Miguel hang not too long ago. It’s become a special spot for him in the penthouse, a detail that’s given the place a much warmer vibe along with the other changes Miguel has made.
Your eyes move to the console table attached to the same wall, decorated with a simply abstract figure. It’s a spot neither of you have thought about spicing up with Miguel trying to redecorate.
“I know you said there’s nowhere to go… But what if…” you trail off, the idea still forming in your head.
“What if…?” Miguel repeats, wondering what you’re thinking about. He’s both curious and excited to hear whatever is on your mind, something that might give him some comfort regarding the situation.
“What if you give her a place here?” you continue, nodding to the console table. “Her special place for you to visit her per say, close to you, here in your home.”
His eyes light up at the idea.
“Never mind, that’s probably… not a good idea,” you say, doubting yourself, but when you turn to look at Miguel, he’s shaking his head.
“I like it. I like it a lot. In fact… I love it,” he says softly with a little smile. “I spend a lot of time here at the living room, so it’d be nice to set it here. And,” he pauses, standing up and looking around. “This place receives a lot of natural light. She loved the sunshine. Sometimes I think she would’ve loved the living room especially for that reason, the sunshine coming through the windows while she colored on the coffee table,” Miguel continues, a hint of excitement in his voice, as his mind works on how he wants it to look - to honor his little girl, to have a place to visit her in a way as you said. He walks over to you and hands you the guitar. “Hold this, please, while I go get something. I’ll be right back.”
He exits the living room before you can say anything, heading towards the office on the first floor, so you hold the guitar with care knowing how special it is.
This is the first time you’ve held it, so you inspect it a little closer to look at the stickers Gabby put on it. There’s three flowers on it, a DNA strand, and a science symbol which doesn’t surprise you. Miguel has always stated how much Gabby loved science, how bright she was. You smile tenderly at it, allowing yourself to realize it was once held by her, a thought that makes you tear up a little. You think about how this guitar was once held by that little girl with the toothy smile who loved pink conchas, chocolate chip pancakes, arroz con leche [Mexican rice pudding], and Choco Milk. The little girl whose birthday is today, who loved science and candy so much her dad couldn’t say no to her, and who loved bees and the color lilac. The one that played guitar and fútbol [I don’t want to call it soccer], who sometimes fell asleep on the way home after a victorious game.
You turn the guitar over, reading the name on the back.
“Gabriella O’Hara,” you whisper, your fingertips barely touching it. “Gabby.” You sniffle quietly and wipe tears from your eyes, not wanting Miguel to see you crying but then, a tissue comes into your vision.
Startled, you look up and find Miguel, his own eyes teary due to seeing and hearing you cry. Despite his own sadness - his grief - he still finds it in himself to offer you a reassuring, little smile before he carefully dries your tears with the tissue.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, embarrassed.
“Don’t be,” Miguel whispers back. “Seeing how much you care about Gabby, despite not having the opportunity to meet her, is so touching to me. You have no idea.” He clears his throat and steps back once he’s done. “It means so much to me that you care about her.”
You sniffle again, trying to recover. “I do. If I could do something to bring her back…”
Miguel’s face softens even more.
“I’d give my life so she was here with you,” you say, looking down at the guitar. “So you’d be happy.”
“I would still be hurting,” Miguel says quietly, which makes you look up, frowning.
“Why?” you ask softly, so honestly it leaves Miguel in disbelief for a few seconds.
“Why? You ask why?” he says, his brows raising. “I’d be missing and grieving you, dulzura. That’s why.” He sits near you with a sigh. “So… don’t ever sacrifice yourself,” Miguel says quietly, firmly. “Please.” Just the idea of something happening to you… It leaves more than a bitter taste in Miguel’s mouth. He doesn’t know what he’d do if you were hurt, if something else happened. He doesn’t want to think about it.
You nod slowly, his words sinking in. Without saying it directly, Miguel has stated that he cares about you. It brings a little smile to your face as you hand him the guitar, thinking he’d appreciate holding it again. Your fingers brush his as the guitar is exchanged but neither of you say anything about it.
“But I’m touched you care so much about Gabby - about me - that you’d try to bring her back if there was a way, without you giving your life.” Miguel adds. “To make me not happy, but happi-er because despite everything… I am happy these days, you know.” He turns to look at you, nudging his chin at you.
You smile, guessing he’s talking about you, so you nudge your chin back at him because you’re happier these days thanks to him, too.
He flashes you a small grin, for a second having the urge to gently take your chin between his thumb and finger, an urge that disperses quickly when you change the topic for his and your sake.
“You went to get something. What was it?” you ask.
“Right,” Miguel says, remembering. He reaches from his other side and retrieves a picture frame and a candle. “I want to add another photo of Gabby, a larger one to place on the console table. The candle… I want to light one for her. In Mexico, people sometimes have small altars for their loved ones at home throughout the year, you reminded me of that when you mentioned the console table. Tomorrow, I’ll go and buy her flowers from the flower market. I already have a vase that I think will be perfect. It used to be in my mom’s apartment when she lived in the building.”
“That sounds lovely,” you reply with a smile. “It’s going to look so beautiful. What picture are you thinking of using for the altar?”
Miguel sighs. “Well… All the pictures I have are already on the wall.”
You both turn your gazes to the photographs, your eyes finding Gabby’s few remaining photos.
“So, it’ll have to be one of them,” Miguel continues, to this day still upset that there’s not more photos of Gabby.
You nod, wishing there were more photos and videos of Gabby at least.
Seeing a sudden pop of white to your side, you turn and find Lyla. She gives you a look, as if asking you to wish her good luck before she floats farther away so Miguel can see her, too. The sight of Lyla and her expression, at this moment, has your heart racing suddenly.
“Hey… Miguel?” Lyla starts too quietly, too serious.
“Lyla,” Miguel replies his face changing to confusion, then to one of seriousness as his ears identify the different tone in her voice.
“I have something to tell you… It’s a good thing,” she continues looking at him and then at you.
“What is it?” Miguel asks.
“So… A year ago when you were injured in another universe, you know with the Goblin, the system shut down. It was rebooted by Margo and all was great, but some files were temporarily lost due to the sudden shut down. Others became corrupted. I started working on retrieving those files, slowly but surely. There was no rush as those files weren’t top priority, you know, essential to us for our day to day work at HQ. To be honest, I couldn’t even tell you what these files were, since they had no official name when I found them,” Lyla explains.
“Files… What are you getting at?” Miguel asks.
“I’ve retrieved them, uncovered what they were. Including the corrupted files. On my little free time, I’ve been restoring the files and well… It turns out that I had forgotten about some of these files due to previous system reboots. Since they were somehow omitted from my system due to previous shut downs, I didn’t even know they existed anymore, especially being lost and corrupted files within the system.”
“What are they? Why is it important to tell us this now?” Miguel asks, holding on to the guitar. His heart begins to race a little, even though he tells himself to not be stupid - to not have hope there’s more.
“Both the lost and corrupted files have turned out to be…” Lyla trails off, looking between Miguel and you. “Photos and videos of Gabby and you. New ones, not the ones you have already.”
Miguel inhales sharply, his heart racing as Lyla’s words sink in. “It’s not possible,” he says without thinking.
“It is, Miguel,” she replies offering a genuine look. “And I swear I didn’t hide them this time. They were lost and even I had no idea they were just sitting there in the system. I came across the folder sometime over the summer after you were injured and decided to work on them. It wasn’t until October or so that one of the files turned out to be a photo of her. I wanted to tell you right away, but then, I figured that since I didn’t even know about this one photo being lost, maybe a few more files would turn out to be photos of her, too. I was hoping to have it done by Father’s Day, but well, things happen at HQ…” Lyla says apologetically. “I finished today. My work proved to be successful because almost every file was of Gabby. I finished recovering the last one today and I’m happy to tell you that there’s over twenty photos on top of some videos. Do you wish to see them?”
“Yes,” Miguel breathes out. “Yes. Please show them to me.” He turns to look at you, his eyes filled with so many emotions - surprise, disbelief, happiness, and excitement.
“I’ll go - I’m going to wait upstairs,” you say, already making the move to stand up so Miguel will have privacy to look at the photos.
“You don’t have to,” Miguel says, suddenly placing a hand on your shoulder for a few seconds, making you go still at the unexpected touch. “Stay, please.”
You stare at each other as Miguel slowly retrieves his hand. He didn’t plan nor anticipated it. It was a genuine reaction, to keep you here, with him.
“Will you?” he asks.
Nodding, you settle back down. “Yes. If you want to, I will.”
“Thank you,” he replies with a small nod. He turns to Lyla, readjusting his position. “Lyla…”
“Yes, boss?” she replies, knowing.
“Go ahead,” Miguel states, his heart racing. His fingers fiddle with the guitar’s strings, feeling nervous. As Lyla prepares, the idea sinks further. There’s more photos and videos of Gabby. All this time, there’s been more memories sitting in the system, lost but finally recovered.
“Here are the photos,” Lyla says gently as she makes a holographic screen accessible. She turns to you, giving you a small smile and a subtle thumbs up. You suppose she was thinking back to the time when she hid photos of Gabby and his wife, and how Miguel reacted then by shutting her down, but his reaction today is far different. The Miguel from then, you suspect, had done little healing. You turn to the screen after acknowledging her with a nod and a small smile, giving your full attention to Gabby.
Three seconds later, there she is. Beside you, Miguel sighs the way a parent does when looking at old photographs of their children, with nostalgia.
“Gabby,” he whispers, his gaze soft as he takes in the photo of her sitting on a living room floor, coloring books and pencils scattered over a coffee table. Her face is one of concentration as she colors, dressed in jeans and a pink shirt with her hair down.
Photo after photo, Miguel and you observe each one, drinking in the details the way you drink café de olla [coffee]. Slowly, with delicacy and love. While Miguel is thrown right back into his memories, you get more glimpses of his life with her, of that short time. You finally see a little bit more of that universe, leaving an incredible pain in you knowing these photographs and Gabby’s guitar, is basically the only evidence left that that universe once existed to begin with.
Despite that feeling, you smile as the photos progress, seeing Miguel with such a happy smile with his daughter. Your heart beats with tenderness seeing how happy they looked, sharing father and daughter moments, such as them playing dolls on her bedroom floor, a flower sticker on Miguel’s hair.
“I didn’t notice it until I was going to shower,” Miguel says with an amused smile. “She noticed it for sure but she didn’t tell me.”
You laugh softly. “She was probably wondering how long it’ll take before you realized.”
“Most likely,” Miguel agrees, shaking his head in amusement before you both turn back to look at the next photo.
Everything is fine and lighthearted inside you as more photos are displayed but your throat suddenly feels impossibly restricted when the photo changes to one of a sleeping Miguel and Gabby on her bed. An open book, abandoned, can be seen on the side. It’s clearly night time, a single lit lamp in what used to be the little girl’s bedroom while Gabby and Miguel sleep, the latter having fallen asleep at some point while reading to his daughter. Your vision becomes blurry when you spot their same sleepy faces, their mouths open just slightly, identically like father and daughter. Silently, the tears roll down your face without warning.
You don’t dare turn to look at Miguel, or even make a subtle move to wipe your tears away because you don’t wish for him to see you crying. You don’t want your tears to make him tear up, too. Inhaling gently, you attempt to swallow the painful knot in your throat and rein in your emotions, but your eyes remain fixed on the photo, on sleeping Miguel and Gabby - no worries in their minds as they peacefully sleep.
For Gabby, she’s in the comfort of her father’s arms - safe and sound, protected. For Miguel, you imagine in those moments that the multiverse didn’t exist. It was a far away concept in those moments, so far he slipped into his sleep with ease and without a fight - a high contrast to what awaited him in the future. Sleepless and long nights in his dark and empty lab due to nightmares, alone with the exception of Lyla at times. The children’s books he read to Gabby replaced with data reports pertaining to the multiverse once more by a cruel and unexpected twist of misfortune, something Miguel has been no stranger to.
Still staring at the photo, you once again wonder how different Miguel’s life would have been had Gabby’s universe not collapsed. You wonder if he’d still live there in that universe, or whether he would’ve told Gabby and his wife about his universe, have them move to Nueva York, here to his penthouse.
You wonder, if perhaps, Miguel and his wife would’ve divorced and it would’ve been Gabby and Miguel alone then.
You wonder if her room would’ve been Gabriel’s, or if Miguel would’ve done changes to the penthouse, like making the upstairs office an extra bedroom. Perhaps, on this coffee table in front of you, Gabby’s coloring books or hair ties, or something that belonged to her, could be found.
“I used to read to her every night,” Miguel says, bringing his knees close to him, resting his arms on them. “I’m so glad there’s a memory of it. That I can see her sleepy face again physically, not just in my head.” He wipes his eye using the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He sniffles quietly before he reaches with his hand, zooming in on her specifically. He traces his daughter’s face as if he were actually tracing it physically, with such tenderness and so much love. “Su carita [her little face],” he whispers. “I’d forget everything about the Spider Society at the sight of that little face. I wasn’t Spider-Man. I was just ‘papá’ or ‘daddy’ - and my biggest worry was a scraped knee during practices [papa].”
He turns to face you slowly, finally realizing you’ve been so quiet, so still. His gaze softens when you turn away as an attempt to keep him from seeing your face, the tears staining your cheeks.
“Dulzura?”
“Yeah?” you reply, clearing your throat, trying to make it seem like you’re fine.
“You don’t have to hide your tears,” Miguel says gently. “Not from me.”
With that, you turn to face him. You offer him a small smile. “I’m sorry… This photo…” you trail off, looking away to dry your damp cheeks. “You just - Your sleeping faces are the same,” you continue, chuckling softly instead of crying, even though your eyes are still tearing up. “Even the way your mouths are open just slightly.” You sniffle. “It’s so… sweet, Miguel.”
You shakily huff, drying your face with the back of your hand. You wish you could blame your emotions on something else, like your period, but it’s not even time for that yet. Your emotions are running uncontrollably purely because of Miguel and his daughter. It’s due to the tenderness of this photo and every single moment they were able to share, but knowing it wasn’t, isn’t, and never will be enough for Miguel or Gabby.
And God, you wish on everything that Gabby was here right now. You wish there was a way that time could go back, that you had the answers to the real cause for the collapse of universes. And then, you’d go back and prevent it from happening, along with every other universe that’s been lost.
“You think so?” Miguel asks, his eyes twinkling with delight hearing you say that Gabby and he share the same sleeping faces.
“Absolutely,” you reply. “It’s clear as day.”
Miguel sighs, dropping his arm. He wraps his arms around his legs and stares at the photo some more. “Thank you for saying that,” he whispers. “That makes me feel… happy. Happier.”
“Always,” you whisper back, able to look at the photo again. “This one… It would be sweet to have in your room.”
Miguel hums. “My nightstand.”
“Close to you,” you reply, nodding.
You fall into a comfortable silence, despite the emotions, and continue to observe the photo for a few more minutes before Miguel asks Lyla to display the rest. Each one is as sweet and tender as the last one, but thankfully you don’t cry anymore, or at least not as much.
“There are a few videos,” Lyla says turning to look at Miguel, talking for the first time since she shared the fact that these files exist. She’s been silently watching the two of you, glad that Miguel has you by his side while he goes through the photos - relieved that he isn’t alone today, and tomorrow, and the date afterwards. He has someone. You. “Do you wish to watch them?”
“Yes, please,” Miguel answers turning to look at Lyla before his eyes turn back to the screen.
As time goes on, Miguel and you watch the videos, all of which are of just him and Gabby. And thankfully, they’re all long videos. You watch Gabriella play fútbol in the backyard with Miguel. There’s the one Christmas they spent together, with Gabby excitedly showing Miguel new toys.
“Christmas,” Miguel says softly. “She was so excited. I did the Santa’s snow boots footprints, she was squealing with happiness when she woke up and saw them,” he shares.
You watch the video, thinking. Miguel was that kind of father, and it makes so much sense.
At last, Lyla turns to face the two of you. “This is the last one,” Lyla says softly as the screen changes before it starts.
Miguel and you both watch as the video clip begins playing, starting with Gabby on display holding her guitar and playing it. Miguel sits on a chair watching with an expression that leaves no room for question how proud he felt in that moment. Like in every video and photo, Miguel’s eyes have a special spark, one you recognize in Peter B. and MJ, Jess and her husband, and Mr. and Mrs. Morales. It’s the spark a loving, caring parent has in their eyes when looking at or talking about their child. Miguel had it around Gabby, and now it’s only visible when he talks about her, or when he looks at her photos.
A warm, gentle, and beautiful smile grazes his face as he watches and listens to Gabby expertly play the guitar at such age, a look of concentration on her sweet face. She plays a melody you don’t recognize but one she seems to know by heart, no mistakes made. She ends her playing gently, the sound pleasant to the ears before she eagerly and expectantly looks at her father, a smile that reminds you of Miguel’s, too, on her face.
“That was amazing, mija [my daughter]!” Miguel says suddenly with such energy you swear you’ve never seen in him before. “You get better and better the more you practice, eh? My little musician!”
You smile, seeing Gabby’s smile widen before she runs to her father, throwing her arms around his neck. The sight of Miguel instantly wrapping his arms around his daughter makes your heart weak. There has never been any doubt in your mind that Miguel loved, still loves, Gabby, but this interaction hits you deeply. You see the way his eyes close in content, his smile unfaltering as he hugs his daughter tightly. He’s so proud of her. He’s so loving, tender, sweet.
There’s also no doubt in your mind. Being a father suits him so much even if he once thought he wasn’t meant to. Quite the contrary, Miguel was meant to be a father.
“Now it’s your turn, daddy! You play and sing!” Gabby says excitedly, pulling back to offer Miguel the guitar.
Miguel shakes his head gently. “I think you should keep playing, mija [my daughter].”
“Please? Pretty please, daddy?” Gabby insists, puppy eyes on full display. “Sing my favorite song, please.”
And just like Miguel has told you before, he was never able to say no to Gabby when it came to healthy, harmless requests like these. He accepts the guitar.
“Just one song, and then you play again. ¿Entiendes, chiquilla [do you understand, little girl]?”
“Okay, okay! Ya se [I know], but please! I like to hear you sing, daddy,” Gabby says taking a seat in front of Miguel on the floor, watching him like he’s the center of her universe.
“Okay, okay. Ay vamos [we’re going, starting]…” Miguel says with a little sigh. “How does it start?”
“Dad!” Gabby whines with a little huff. “You know how it starts!”
“I forgot. What are the first notes, again?” Miguel asks with a sweet, playful smile that stays on his face as Gabby tells him. “Ah, okay. So… Something like this,” he says playing a few notes that earns him eager nods from Gabby. “Okay, I think I got it, mija [my daughter].” He begins to play the guitar again, the same notes Gabby was playing earlier but continuing on.
And for the first time since you’ve known Miguel, you hear him truly sing.
“Luna gardenia de plata que en mi serenata, te vuelves canción. Tú que me viste cantando, me ves hoy llorando, mi desilusión. Calles bañadas de luna que fueron la cuna de mi juventud. Vengo a cantarle a mi amada, la luna plateada de mi Xelajú…” Miguel sings with ease, his brows furrowing slightly, gazing at his daughter who smiles tenderly at her father. “En mis noches de pena, por una morena de dulce mirar,” Miguel continues singing, smiling at Gabby, nodding at her. He earns himself a sweet, happy, and toothy smile along with an applause from Gabby’s hands, and it’s so heartwarming, so sweet Miguel can’t help himself from stopping midway when he sees Gabby rise and head straight for him.
He welcomes her in his arms, laughing softly as he places the guitar down to fully embrace her like it’s the last time he’ll ever be able to. The thought breaks you. He never imagined he’d lose her - not while embracing her like that nor when he read bedtime stories to her.
“Again, daddy! This time all the song, please,” Gabby says hugging Miguel, her father.
“Okay, okay, mija [my daughter], but first we need to have dinner. C’mon, the caldo [broth] should be ready now,” Miguel says carrying her to what you assume is the kitchen. “Le agregue muchas papitas pa’ que comas. Tienes que comer pa’ que estés fuerte y sana. ¿Recuerdas? [I added a lot of potatoes so you’ll eat. You must eat so you’ll be strong and healthy. Remember?]”
“¡Y pollito [and chicken]!” Gabby says making Miguel chuckle.
“Si y mucho pollito. También zanahorias [yes and chicken. Carrots, too].”
“Eugh, no carrots, please.”
The last thing heard is Miguel’s laughter as they both disappear into the kitchen, the screen returning to the all familiar marigold color used for all screens in the Spider Society.
You chuckle softly as you remember something. “So she wasn’t fond of carrots either.”
Turning to look at you, Miguel frowns softly yet he’s amused. He remembers that evening so vividly now, how it felt to carry his daughter to the kitchen so they could check on the food. “Either?”
“Remember when you were injured last year?” you ask, which instantly reminds Miguel.
“Dios [God], that carrot was disgusting,” he says frowning deeply. “I don’t know how we didn’t throw up right there.”
Covering your mouth, you laugh, recalling the face he made that day when he tried it. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re laughing,” Miguel says raising an eyebrow, feigning disappointment and offense. “Can’t believe you made me try it.”
“I didn’t think it was actually bad,” you reply. “In my defense, I thought since it’s this dimension, and all the great resources at HQ, that the infirmary food would be top notch.”
“Mala [Meanie, feminine version in Spanish],” Miguel replies, amusement dancing in his eyes. “At least you tried it, too. So we’re even.”
“Never again.” You chuckle again. “If I ever end up there, please spare me from the carrots.”
Miguel’s amusement falters a bit. “I hope you’re never there. Not even for a minor cut, but I promise I’ll spare you from the horrible food,” he says earnestly, leaving no doubt in your mind that you’ll never taste that food. Again. “I swear.”
“Thank you,” you reply softly with a smile.
“Always. I’ll protect your food palate,” he says, amused yet again.
You both smile at each other, staying quiet for a few seconds before you speak again. “That was… Very beautiful, Miguel,” you start quietly. “Your voice. You singing to Gabby her favorite song. You made her happy, so happy.”
He nods, his smile shifting to a much tender one. “I sang it to her every time she wanted me to. It was a pure request, an easy way to make her happy. I always wanted her to be so,” Miguel shares. “And if I could make her happy in such an easy way, I would. It was also bonding for us. I never wanted to make her feel like I didn’t want to spend time with her, like she was being rejected. I wanted her to feel loved,” he adds softly. “For her to know she was deeply loved and cared for. That she didn’t need to hide anything. I wanted her to have what I…” Miguel pauses, swallowing. “What I didn’t have at her age. That unconditional love, protection, and tenderness from a parent. Constant. Not in pauses, making her wonder if she had done something wrong.”
Nodding, you sigh softly. You know about Miguel’s childhood; about the situation with his mother Conchata and his stepfather, on top of the situation with his biological father. You try not to think about it often because each time you do, anger and sadness flares up inside you for him. You hate that Miguel experienced such rejection and negligence in his early life, how it has affected him throughout the years.
You’re glad, at least, that by the end of Conchata’s life, Miguel had somewhat of a stable relationship with her, something you’ve wondered about sometimes at random times. You wonder, if time had allowed, whether Miguel and her could’ve worked on their relationship, if by now they’d have a better one, but of course, it’s fruitless to think of such moments. Conchata has been gone for several years.
Another thing you wonder is if she saw the way Miguel stepped up to the role of father and how wonderful, tender, sweet, and loving he was to Gabby from wherever she is. You wonder if she felt shame, knowing her son tried to be everything she hardly was for Gabby.
“It’s evident you did just that,” you say at last, concentrating on the now. “She was so happy, Miguel. Her laughter, her smiles - all signs of a happy, safe, and loved child.”
Miguel hums, his gaze softening at your words. “Thank you,” he whispers. “I tried my best to be a good father.” He turns his gaze towards the guitar, the lovely and bittersweet song stuck in his head. He picks it up and holds it, remembering how many times he played the song for her. His fingers glide over the stickers, thinking how it’s still her birthday.
There’s a chance her favorite song would’ve changed by now. Maybe she wouldn’t be interested in playing the guitar anymore but rather another instrument. There’s a lot of things that could’ve changed by now, truly. Maybe Gabby would’ve stopped playing fútbol. Maybe she would’ve stopped loving science.
He’ll never know now.
But maybe there’s a chance, that despite the years… “Luna de Xelajú” would still hold a special place in her tender heart. Maybe she’d appreciate her father remembering the times she asked him to play it for her, to sing her the song while gazing at her, letting her know that she was his morena de dulce mirar [his brunette, or of dark complexion, girl with a sweet gaze]. Just maybe, she’d let her old man play and sing it for her on her birthday even if she no longer begged him to sing it by wrapping her short arms around his neck, giggling and calling him daddy.
Just maybe.
Miguel clears his throat and positions his fingers. How does it start?
“You know how it starts!”
He hears Gabby’s voice in his head, even the little huff. Right. Like this. His fingers move, playing the notes for the first time since he lost his daughter. For a moment, he thinks he messed up, but no, his memory doesn’t betray him, and so his fingers move, as if they had a mind of their own.
You watch as he begins to play, familiar to your ears now thanks to the video. Your eyes remain on him, not missing even a second of this. For a moment, you wonder if you’re imagining it, but no, Miguel really is playing the guitar and playing Gabby’s song, at least the beginning of it.
You suddenly realize what he’s trying to do, just as Lyla does, too because a second later, Lyla displays a photo of Gabby, one of the new ones, for Miguel.
Miguel is going to play and sing the song for her, on her birthday.
Holding your breath, you watch Miguel lift his gaze to the screen, still playing the guitar before he begins.
“Luna gardenia de plata, que en mi serenata te vuelves canción. Tú que me viste cantando, me ves hoy llorando mi desilusión,” Miguel sings softly, staring at his daughter’s photo, his expression gentle yet with a trace of mourning and grief. “Luna de Xelajú, que supiste alumbrar, en mis noches de pena por una morena de dulce mirar,” he continues, his gaze softening and his mouth pouting.
You remain still, almost as still as a statue itself. You have heard Miguel sing before when he does so under his breath, sometimes unaware of it, but nothing compare to this. If his voice sounds beautiful in the video, it sounds angelic live. His voice travels straight to your heart.
Still playing, Miguel’s eyes fill with some tears. After so long, he’s playing and singing her song. For so long, he’s tried to not think of it, finding it to be too much for him, too soon for his grieving heart, but his very heart seems to have found today appropriate for it.
Maybe it’s another sign of him healing, Miguel doesn’t know, but he has no regrets playing it now. It feels right, so he continues, hoping that wherever Gabby is, she’s listening to him sing it at last, just for her.
“En mi vida no habrá, más cariño que tú, mi amor. Porque no eres ingrata, mi Luna de plata, luna de Xelajú. Luna que me alumbró, en mis noches de amor… [in my life there won’t be more love than you, my love. Because you’re not ungrateful, my moon of silver, moon of Xelajú. Moon that lightened me up, in my nights of love]” Miguel sings, his fingers slowing down as he pauses for a few seconds. “Hoy consuelas la pena… Por una morena… que me… Abandonó [today you console the sorrow… for a brunette, or girl of dark complexion… that… abandoned me],” he sings the end in a whisper, a single tear rolling down his face as his fingers play the last notes, finishing the song.
He lowers the guitar to his lap slowly, still gazing at Gabby’s photo. He doesn’t bother to wipe away the tear that slowly trails down his face. Instead, he lets it run its course until it sinks into his skin. Miguel inhales heavily and sighs. Something in him, so deep, settling in. It’s a certain kind of peace.
At last, several seconds later, you sigh as well. You didn’t realize you held your breath throughout the entirety of the song, but you did. You didn’t want to miss a single moment of Miguel singing to Gabby; from hearing his gentle, soothing voice.
“That was beautiful,” you whisper quietly, looking at Gabby’s photo.
Miguel smiles slowly. “Thank you,” he whispers back. “I haven’t played, sang, nor heard it since then. The last time was before I lost her. Even the simple thought of it, the melody in my head - was too much for me,” Miguel admits, gathering his thoughts. “If she was alive, I know she’d be changing. The things she once liked, maybe she wouldn’t be much into anymore. Maybe this song wouldn’t be her favorite anymore. There’s a chance… I know, but even then, before I decided to play it, I thought maybe, just maybe, from wherever she’s at, keeping me safe, she might enjoy me playing her once favorite song from down here on Earth… I hope she heard it.”
You smile softly, still staring at the photo and think about Miguel’s words. Maybe Gabby’s music taste would’ve changed by now. Perhaps “Luna de Xelajú” would no longer be her favorite song, and maybe it’s wishful thinking, but a part of you believes that Gabby would’ve loved the beautiful gesture from her dad regardless. And for some reason, you also can’t help but think that maybe she did hear it tonight.
The two flickering birthday candles from earlier come back to mind. That was rather strange. You wonder silently. Maybe the two most important people in Miguel’s life, visited him tonight in their own way.
“I have a feeling she did,” you reply softly.
Miguel turns to face you, shifting his body slightly. “You may think I’m a little bit crazy,” he starts, making you tilt your head towards him with a raised eyebrow, letting him know you don’t. He smiles a bit. “The flickering candles.”
You nod. “I was just thinking about that. Two candles,” you reply.
“Two candles,” Miguel repeats. “Gabby. Gabriel.” He smiles a bit at that. “You don’t think I’m… overthinking it? Maybe with my messed up sleep schedule, I’m just… Not making sense.”
“You’re allowed to believe that,” you state gently. “I’m never going to judge you. I had my fair share of moments in which I felt like Peter and my parents were - leaving me little signs. I also thought about them, you know.” You shift slightly to face him better. “About Gabby and Gabriel.”
Miguel smiles, his head dipping to face the floor. It’s reassuring. He straightens up to look at you again.
“I know I already said it earlier, but, I want to say I’m sorry again. For the way I behaved these last few days.”
You prepare yourself to reply but Miguel lifts his finger, stopping you.
“I don’t want to… Push you away nor make you feel like I’m trying to when I’m not. I have,” Miguel pauses, thinking about that mutual agreement between you some weeks ago.
“We do. We have each other,” Miguel said, before adding, “Always.”
“Always,” you replied.
He also thinks about how you’ve only been a part of his life for a few years. Two, to be exact. It’s a realization that for some reason feels so wrong to him. He wishes you could’ve been in his life sooner, but there’s no time machine to do that, or Miguel would’ve already used it to bring back Gabby and Gabriel. There’s no changing the past, unfortunately, but he has control over some aspects of the future, and he’s already made up his mind. You may have entered his life only two years ago, but he’ll try his absolute best to make sure you stick for the rest of his - until his last breath.
“I don’t want to ever…” he tries and clears his throat. “I don’t want to - I’d like for you - stick around.” He sighs and runs a quick hand through his hair. “I’m not trying to push you - away. Ever.”
You smile at that. “To be honest, it’s going to take a lot for you to push me away. I’m afraid… You’re stuck with me,” you say.
He laughs softly, the sound making your heart swell. “Like that’s a bad thing,” Miguel answers.
“Well… Just saying, so you don’t complain later on.”
“I could never,” Miguel replies, smiling softly.
“Lyla, I hope you recorded that,” you reply, earning yourself a chuckle from Miguel, one that makes you chuckle, too before you both settle into a comfortable silence.
The holographic screen is still available, the same photo of Gabby displayed with one of the sweetest smiles you’ve ever seen.
It’s several minutes later when Miguel breaks the silence. “Tomorrow I’m printing all the photos.” And then remembering, he adds. “Thank you, Lyla. For recovering everything. I… I had no idea there were more photos and videos. Thank you.”
“You got it, Miguel,” Lyla says, looking between him and you, happy that she was able to restore everything. “I’m heading off now. I have some things to work on. Good night.”
“Night,” Miguel replies.
“Good night,” you answer before she disappears.
“Are you tired?” Miguel asks gently.
“Not a lot,” you reply, even though last night you only slept for a few hours. You know Miguel slept even less. “You?”
He shakes his head slightly. “No. Not yet.” He picks up the guitar and plays a few strings, ones you don't recognize.
You remain by his side, letting time go by in each other’s company. Despite the emotions, the mood is lighthearted. Miguel is no longer as quiet and he even offers a few more smiles as the hours go by, smiles that actually reach his eyes.
As time slips by, you notice Miguel grow sleepier and sleepier, which is not surprising. At some point you find him nodding off, so you suggest that he goes to bed but he declines, stating he’s not sleepy yet.
Except, he is and he ends up falling asleep sitting next to you. In a matter of minutes, you grab a pillow from upstairs and your blanket before you reach him. You talk to him softly, waking him enough to talk to him.
“Lay down,” you say, watching the way he looks at you sleepily.
“Mm - no,” he replies, sleepily.
“You’ve fallen asleep. Lay down,” you try again. “Please?”
He sighs, yawning. “I wasn’t sleepy.”
You hold back from chuckling. “I totally believe you. Now, lay down. Please.”
He sighs again, all sleepy and stubborn, but finally lays down.
“Sleep,” you whisper firmly. “Rest, Migs.”
“Are you going upstairs?” he whispers sleepily, his eyes fluttering as he gazes at you, with a hint of a pout.
You smile tenderly at him, the sight of his sleepy features and voice warming your heart.
“I'm staying here,” you reply as you cover him with your blanket, wondering if the reason why he’s asking is because he'll like for you to stay.
“Mm,” he hums sleepily, satisfied with your answer. “Thank you.” He sighs softly, relaxing and settling.
“Lift your head, Miguel.”
“Mhm.” Miguel does so slightly, more asleep than awake now.
You fix the pillow behind his head, your fingers accidentally brushing the small curls on the nape of his neck including the sensitive skin there, eliciting a gentle hum from Miguel, one of contentment, of satisfaction.
You freeze for a second, the sound surprising you. After a second or two, you smile and finish fixing it, pulling the blanket higher up.
“Sleep, Migs,” you whisper tenderly.
“Mhm, dulzura,” Miguel mumbles, dozing off at last.
You take a seat next to him. The holographic screen is still available, displaying the same photo from earlier.
You get comfortable and stare at the photo, thinking about all the new ones, about the videos. You got more glimpses of Miguel's life with his daughter. More glimpses of him being a father.
Turning your attention back to Miguel and taking in all his features, you think once more.
He was meant to be a dad.
You wonder if there's a chance of him opening his heart to someone one day. Of falling in love and having a child. Or, maybe two, or three. Maybe even four.
With thoughts of the possibility of Miguel building a family with someone, you fall asleep yourself.
It's many hours later when you wake up naturally, without the need of an alarm. To your relief, you find Miguel still sleeping peacefully by your side.
Standing up, you notice his sleeping face, once again remembering how similar it is to Gabby's. You hum to yourself, heart swelling with tenderness, before deciding to make coffee.
You go through yesterday's events silently as you prepare the pot and set up the mugs, opting for some simple ones today instead of grabbing more colorful ones, like the mug you gifted Miguel for Father’s Day due to the circumstances of Gabby’s birthday. You wait patiently, remaining quiet to avoid waking up Miguel and think to yourself. You can't believe that all this time there were more photos and videos of Gabby, lost but thankfully recovered and restored by Lyla.
“Good morning,” Miguel says entering the kitchen, his voice still laced with sleep.
“Good morning,” you reply, offering Miguel a smile. “Coffee is almost ready.”
He nods before running a hand through his hair, it being a little disheveled from his sleep. His movement slows down as he vaguely remembers your fingers brushing his hair and neck, a memory that makes his cheeks feel warmer. “I could use some, muchas gracias [thank you].”
“Always,” you reply, not noticing the gentle redness on his cheeks.
He leans on the counter, still waking up and trying to gather his thoughts. He looks over at the coffee and the mugs, remembering. He moves to where the mugs are found and finds the one. It’s the one he’s been using since you gifted it to him; his mug from Father’s Day with the bees. He retrieves it and moves towards you, placing it on the counter near the two you already have out.
“My favorite,” Miguel says looking at it, still so touched by your gifts, bringing a smile to your face.
So, you serve him coffee in that mug and watch him drink it, raising the mug you made with your own hands to his lips. It’s how you also notice the bracelet you gifted him with Gabby’s name on his wrist, another sight that makes you happy. It seems Miguel really liked the gifts.
“Do you want to come with me?” Miguel asks, lowering the mug. “I’m going to the flower market.”
“If it’s alright,” you say, remembering Miguel’s plans to buy flowers for Gabby to place on the altar. “I’d like to.”
Miguel nods. “I’d like for you to come.”
After drinking your mugs of coffee in peace, you both get ready and dress in civilians clothes. For the second time, you borrow the simple holographic suit Miguel allowed you to borrow months ago when your apartment building caught on fire and your suit was dirty and smelling of smoke.
You both slip out of the penthouse and swing through the city before most of the people of Nueva York are awake, before the city is truly buzzing with life. On an alleyway, you both deactivate the suits and step out onto the street wearing your normal clothes to search through the flower market.
You walk around side by side, admiring the different types of flowers available, trying to find the perfect ones for Gabby. You eventually find bouquets that seem to attract both of you; a lovely combination of white and lilac flowers. Together, you choose the best bouquet out of the bunch before continuing to walk around. Despite your mission being accomplished, it seems Miguel is in no rush to leave.
As you both continue to walk around, his gaze turns to you, noticing the way you eye certain flowers with glee and interest. You even stop at certain displays to take a closer look, so Miguel stops to look at them with you, sticking by your side while holding the bouquet he’s already bought.
His brows shoot up when he sees the owner, an older lady, of the display talk to you, inviting you to see further in the back when you stop on theirs.
You shoot him an apologetic smile as the woman enthusiastically talks to you about other options, so he smiles back with a look that lets you know that it’s okay.
“Mujeres. ¿Verdad? [Women. Right?]”
Miguel turns, a little startled by the sudden voice. He finds a man, a much older one.
“¿Disculpe? [Sorry?]” Miguel replies, towering over the man.
“Mujeres divinas. ¿Que haríamos sin ellas? Hermosas. Y mira como les encantan las flores [Divine women. What would we do without them? Beautiful. And look how much they love flowers],” the man says with a smile. “Parece que ya le llevas un arreglo pero le gustan mucho las flores. Así esta mi esposa [looks like you already have an arrangement (bouquet )but she likes flowers. That’s how my wife is],” he says, nodding to the owner. Miguel quickly realizes the owner is the man’s wife. “You know, she pointed you guys out from the little early crowd.”
Miguel clears his throat, looking down at the bouquet of flowers. His mind immediately puts together what the man is insinuating, or rather what he believes.
“She did?” Miguel questions.
“She said that was us thirty-five years ago.”
“Oh,” Miguel says simply for a moment, struck by the fact that two more people have confused him and you for a couple in two weeks, remembering the lady from the grocery store. “We’re… just friends. Best friends.”
The man laughs as his wife and you walk back to them, talking. “That’s how my wife and I started. Friendship is one of the most essential foundations for a blissful and long marriage, mijo [my son]. Take it from me. Thirty-two years of marriage, three kids later. Something to think about, eh? Take care, mijo, and take care of that one, too,” the man says nodding at Miguel and then at you before he withdraws to meet his wife, leaving Miguel speechless.
He watches as the couple talk to you a bit more before finally letting you free. You join his side a few seconds later, smiling.
“Sorry, Mrs. Gonzalez wanted to show me other flowers she has in the back,” you say.
“You learned her name,” Miguel states.
“She introduced herself,” you reply with a shrug. “She was very excited about showing me some flowers. I couldn’t say no.”
“Did you like them?” he asks.
“They were lovely,” you answer, looking at a certain bouquet that caught your eye.
He nods and before you can say anything, he talks to the owners in Spanish.
“Me quiero llevar uno de esos arreglos, por favor. ¿Cuanto es? [I want to take one of those bouquets, please. How much?]”
You watch as the transaction is quickly made between Miguel and Mr. Gonzalez, the latter whispering something to Miguel that you can’t catch.
“¡Gracias, tenga un buen día, don [Thank you, have a good day, sir]!” Miguel says before walking back to you. He hands you the bouquet. “For… you. I noticed you eyeing these.”
You accept them. “Yes, these….” you reply, looking at them and feeling a little awestruck by the fact that you’re suddenly holding a bouquet of flowers bought by Miguel for you. “Thank you. I’ll pay you back. Maybe with some snacks from my universe,” you add at last, moving past the awe, as you both begin to walk.
“No paying back,” Miguel answers as he looks ahead, his tone being one that leaves no room for you argue about it. “It’s… a gift. Look, food trucks. Do you want some breakfast?” Miguel offers, changing the subject, and nodding at the food trucks as you both exit the flower market.
You end up having breakfast on some wooden picnic table under a large umbrella to shield yourselves from the sun since it’s summer now. You talk with ease, the tension from the last few days gone, at last. You both watch as the area quickly fills with more and more citizens from Nueva York, the city coming back to full life.
Instead of swinging back home in your suits, Miguel and you silently agree to walk on the way back. He carries both bouquets of flowers in his arms since he insisted on doing so before you left the picnic table. Together, you walk home, sticking by each other’s side like glue, with Miguel walking closest to the street, keeping you on the inside of the sidewalk.
Once you return home, Miguel and you head to the office room. There, you watch Miguel inject himself with that neon serum you now know about. He looks at you sheepishly as he does so.
“I forgot about it,” Miguel says placing the device down, a glow passing through his crimson eyes.
“It's understandable,” you reply, glad that Miguel is in a different mindset and taking care of this.
With that, you help Miguel print the new photos of Gabby. He makes extra copies for backup purposes, storing them in his personal home computer and multiple USB flashes, or some version of them since they look different in this dimension.
Miguel also retrieves the vase he mentioned the night before and at last, he has everything to set up his little altar for Gabby.
As he places one of the photos in the picture frame, you open the bouquet of flowers he bought for her and arrange it in his mom's vase.
When everything is ready, and the surface has been cleaned properly, you both approach the console table with the items. You stand by, holding the vase, and let Miguel work at his pace.
The photo is placed first and then the vase with pretty and fresh flowers. Miguel retrieves the guitar from where he left it last night and carefully places it next to the console table, taking a few moments to look at it.
He’s glad that it's not hidden away anymore, that he'll be able to look at it every day now. At last, he places a candle and lights it, completing the altar for now. Maybe in the future he'll change something, but right now, it's perfect.
The altar is beautiful. You love the fact that Miguel has added Gabby’s guitar, the flowers that bring such a lovely energy to the living room, but most of all, you love seeing Gabby’s photo on the console table.
And so does Miguel.
You both stand in front of the console table for several minutes, simply admiring and thinking about her in silence.
A while later, you both sit on the rooftop of Miguel’s building, peacefully. You remember that it’s a work day and that both Miguel and you are technically “late” to work by now, but you say nothing. You’re certain Miguel already knows what time it is, and that if he wanted to, both of you would’ve already been there. It seems he’s okay with being late today.
He gazes at the sky, at the soft cloud formations, thinking and unworried about making it to HQ. He trusts that the rest of the team can handle the tasks, just a few more hours, without either of you.
After some time of peaceful silence, Miguel remembers.
“How’s reconstruction going for your building?” he asks.
“It’s almost done. I think in a week or two, we should get the okay to move back in.”
Miguel almost frowns, but he keeps the same look on his face. A week or two. His chest feels heavy all of a sudden and he wonders where time went.
“That’s… Good for the building, and everyone,” Miguel forces himself to say. Sure, he’s glad that everyone will be able to go back, that you’ll have your apartment once again - the one you love so much. Hell, even he misses the comfort and coziness from it, but… Why does the idea hurt him more than he thought it would?
He gulps. In a week or two you’ll be gone, back to your universe. He places his hand on the rooftop’s ground, accidentally brushing his fingers against yours.
“Sorry,” he apologizes instantly, worried he may have squeezed some of your fingers with his larger hand.
“It’s alright,” you reply with a smile, keeping your hand where it was, unbothered.
Miguel places his hand near yours, both of you silent and thinking about your upcoming return to your apartment.
A part of you is happy your place will be available again and yet… You sigh softly, staring at the clouds just like Miguel.
Neither of you say anything else about it, equally avoiding further conversation regarding the matter without knowing.
“I know it’s barely time, but what if we stay here for lunch?” Miguel says after a while. “A homemade lunch.”
“That sounds great,” you reply. “What do you feel like eating?”
“Hmm,” Miguel hums, thinking. “What are you up to?”
You laugh. “I’m up for anything.”
“That narrows it down a lot, thank you,” Miguel says sarcastically with a soft smirk.
“Happy to help,” you reply with your own little smirk.
God, he’s going to miss having you here, Miguel suddenly thinks. He forces himself to not think of that. Not again today. He clears his throat. “Let’s head back. It’s growing hotter. We can think inside of what to cook.”
You both slip back inside the penthouse, into the cool air.
“Maybe we can make some chilaquiles [Mexican dish]?” you offer, now in the living room.
“That’s an idea,” Miguel replies as you both stop in front of Gabby’s altar once more.
You both stare at it, the candle still on.
Slowly, you offer your pinky finger. A second later without hesitation, Miguel wraps his around yours.
“Thank you for sticking around,” he says quietly. “Despite my mood.”
“Always,” you reply. “No matter what.”
Miguel gives your pinky a hug with his own. “Always.”
A minute later, you both head to the kitchen to start prepping lunch, splitting up tasks to finish sooner, leaving Gabby’s altar in the living room.
The candle’s flame flickers and dances, peacefully.
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A/N: It's here!! The way life kept holding me back from writing this chapter?? But it's finally here :) I loved writing this one so much (I've loved writing every single chapter lets be real) but I've been planning the concept of you helping Miguel celebrate Gabby's birthday since part 3 when we first learned Miguel doesn't celebrate birthdays but instead, makes an ofrenda for his deceased loved ones. Can't believe we're already on part 17, or that we're even on a part 17 to begin with!
I'm going to make this as quick as possible because you've already given my fic and me so much time of your day/night, so... Some of you may or may not know but this month (July) will make one year since I started writing this story and writing fanfic again in general after several years. To be specific, I posted the first chapter on July 29th. 🥺
I seriously doubt that I'll have the next chapter by then, so I just wanted to take the time today to give you guys a huge THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart 🥹❤️ I say it again, and again, and again, but the support this story and my writing has received since I started writing fanfic again truly means so much to me!! I know I also say this a lot, but I genuinely didn't think many people would be interested to read this fanfic that initially was planned out to be only 3 or 4 parts long (lol). Almost a year later, I'm still writing and this story has turned into something so much more than I planned - so much bigger - thanks to you!! All the comments, the asks, the fanart, and you lovely people I get to interact with ... Wow!!! Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be back to writing fanfiction, much less have it be received and loved so much!! 🥹
Special thank you to every single artist who has created fanart of Nonviolent Communication!! If you read this, I hope you know that you've made me so incredibly happy, blessed, grateful, honored, and so much more - to see such beautiful art inspired by my fic. Each time a fanart has been posted, I've screamed and cried out of excitement, and that's not exaggeration. I am beyond thankful to have the privilege of saying there's fanart for something I've written (sometimes I'm still like "no way" fr). God - my hands are shaking rn and my chest feels fuzzy. I'm a bit emotional lol, sorry, but THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! One day I may stop writing (I hope not) but please know I'm always going to cherish all the fanart (which is all saved in my computer and phone, and now tablet because it's that important to me)!!!!! 😭
I'm gonna end it here because as usual, I'm yapping in the author's note and also the tears are coming🫣 but please know, this means so much to me, and ily guys!!! Thank you for inspiring me to write for our fav Spider-Man, Miguel❤️
To celebrate a year, I'll be posting something regarding opening writing requests (for the first time) over the next week, so if you're interested, keep an eye out for my posts. I was trying to come up with something more exciting but that's all I could think of to celebrate!🤣
That's all. Thank you so much for reading again, and ily guys!! Take care!!
And for old time's sake, I still love Miguel O'Hara (even more)!!🥹
Alondra❤️
P.S. Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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excitementshewrote · 7 months ago
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kim-jongin-s · 15 days ago
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svt fic recs (mostly nc-17; jeongcheol, minwon, verkwan, wonchan + other)
JEONGCHEOL
"is it casual now?". au. oneshot, 1.5k. r.
They had agreed on something with no strings attached four years ago.
"lightning in a bottle". oneshot, 2k. pg-13.
Jeonghan hasn’t said a word since they peeled away from the group, and he doesn’t say anything now. He looks around the waiting room, then cocks an eyebrow at Seungcheol, who is locking the door.
“Aren’t we too old for this?”
"teach me a lesson, get me where it hurts". au. oneshot, 2.5k. nc-17.
“I said we’re not dating.” He frowns sweetly. It’s almost a pout. “I never said anything about this.”
"i don't think i can stop it". oneshot, 3k. nc-17.
Seungcheol sees the Dazed covers and goes a little bit insane. (Jeonghan is along for the ride)
"a summer's harvest". historical!au: farmer!sc, prince!jh. oneshot, 3.6k. nc-17.
seungcheol is a farmer caring for the dry and hot soil of the countryside, not having anything else but his cattle to entertain. something changes when there is a rumour about the crown prince visiting their land one summer.
"why don't you do right?". historical!au: mafia boss!sc, club singer!jh. oneshot, 5k. nc-17.
As Jeonghan begins to sing, a lamp turns on at the rear table and his eyes lock with a dark, heavy-lidded gaze. So this is him, the youngest crime boss in the city; the man with the million dollar smile that closes million dollar deals; the Prince of Diamonds himself, Choi Seungcheol.
"oxygen to a flame". au. oneshot, 5.5k. nc-17.
Jeonghan spends most of his time in the lab, his brain wired to work through analytical experiments; definitely not to make a clay pot in a pottery class with an extremely hot instructor.
"the eye of the wind". historical!au, pirate!au. oneshot, 8.6k. nc-17.
‘My quartermaster tells me you’re worth your keep. That I shouldn’t throw you off my ship.’
It’s a question; he’s waiting for Jeonghan to prove his loyalty. He expects him to beg.
‘I’ve been cleaning your deck in the hot sun for almost a week, Captain. What more would you have me do?’
"sunflower, vol. 6". office!au. oneshot, 9k. pg-13.
Yoon Jeonghan is good at a lot of things. Being oblivious is at the top of that list.
"sour candy". office!au. oneshot, 11k. pg-13.
New hire Seungcheol is a nice guy. The nicest guy in the world, some would say. Somehow, Jeonghan is the only person Seungcheol is capable of hating.
MINWON
"angel baby". au. oneshot, 5k. nc-17.
On some days, Mingyu comes home to a different Wonwoo – softer, more pliant, often dressed in Mingyu’s clothes and nothing else other than a rosy flush and a mellow smile.
"wabi-sabi". omegaverse: beta!ww, alpha!mg. 17 chapters, 73k. nc-17.
Destiny has never favored Jeon Wonwoo, and he knows it never will.
He has come to accept his cruel fate, used to life's tribulations, but Kim Mingyu makes it harder for him to simply give up.
"s.o.s. d'un terrien en détresse". historical!au. 15 chapters, 129k. nc-17.
Wonwoo lives in a village that refuses to see him. One day, Mingyu opens his eyes.
VERKWAN
"down to earth". au: teacher!sk, police officer!vn. oneshot, 9k. nc-17.
No one at HQ has managed to find out just how Officer Chwe keeps such a cool head.
↳ "eyes can't shine". au: teacher!sk, police officer!vn. 3 chapters, 15k. r.
Hansol had known from the start that this arrangement was in no way sustainable. He was simply a weak, weak man.
"summer, the cicadas, and their songs". au. 4 chapters, 104k. nc-17. ♡
For as long as Seungkwan could remember, summer had always meant Hansol. Six months after they break up, they find each other again under a shared roof with their best friends – with the stars, the sun, and the cicadas to help guide them back together.
WONCHAN
"suffocate". college!au: professor!ww, student!dn. oneshot, 2k. nc-17.
Professor Jeon offers up the opportunity for extra credit.
Lee Chan takes it.
"get it (big)". college!au. oneshot, 16.5k. nc-17.
Chan chases after Wonwoo's monster dick and gets more than he bargained for.
OTHER
"twin flame". wonwoo/mingyu/seungkwan/dino. oneshot, 4.6k. nc-17.
Mingyu and Wonwoo didn't know what the night would bring when they invite Seungkwan and Chan over for dinner.
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catnatch · 8 months ago
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another souyo fic rec list!
this one is exclusively for fics that have never made it off the badbadbathouse/livejournal (to my knowledge/memory). I have my big ass list of every single souyo fill, but this one is curated with summaries, so hopefully it'll be useful to new p4 fans or anyone who doesn't know where to start with p4 on lj!
(these are all from bbbh, so the main post text for all these will be somewhat suggestive, but I will separate sfw fics from nsfw)
SFW fics!
Sunday, 7:43: I've mentioned before but my absolute fav P4 fic <3 even the prompt is the sweetest: a ficcy about the precise moment Yousuke realizes he's in love
Domesticity: Yosuke gets a gray hair :^)
Name That Tune: after Yosuke gives him a mixtape, Souji surprises him with the song he likes the most-- it goes exactly where you think but the buildup is still so good :') this one I feel like I did see on AO3 but I can't find it again if it is
The Frog in the Well (or, Yosuke and the wind.): character study of Yosuke's connection to his element (okay not so souyo but it's got such fantastic use of language...)
Sick Day: good old fashioned sick fic :') actually more of a ensemble fic rather than purely souyo, and the peeks of characterization therein are choice [warnings for vomit]
Cook the Food, Not the Kitchen: teaching the IT to cook- another ensemble fic! but souji def has plans for Yosuke in this one ;) unfinished but very amusing nonetheless
Façade: in order to go out on a public date, Souji elects to disguise as a girl. i like fics where they work thru their issues... but it's still quite fluffy! this one miiiight be on AO3 or ffn
One Way to Start the Morning: Yukiko and Yosuke talk about being in love with their best friends... as much as Yosuke can admit it anyway. realistically awkward but genuine Yosuke and Yukiko friendship, hooray! [warnings for one use of slur]
Whisperwind: Yosuke gains telepathic powers and it's too much (a sorta Carrie au). very surreal but well done horror fic (there is souyo but as you can imagine, it doesn't end well) [no smut but it is very gory so think maybe R? instead of NC-17; major character death]
Contact: souyo's relationship through touch. wonderful sense of tension and space throughout this fic, and i love viewing their progression thru one specific lens
Breaking Up is Hard To Do: Yosuke confesses... the night before Souji leaves. once again the genre is souyo/working on their issues. excellent, naturalistic dialog and not too angsty...
[untitled]: souyo told purely from other character's perspectives. unfortunately unfinished; we really need more outside pov fics !
A Special Report: "I like my women like my coffee" ngl rec-ing purely for Souji's answer ;D (nothing explicit but as u can expect from the prompt, suggestive jokes abound) also sports club trio ftw!!
NSFW fics below cut!
Play Time: Souji likes Yosuke's dick- even outside of sex! i am SUCH a big fan of casual, almost boring intimacy. adult in the best way, funny and so so domestic
The Last Breath We Take: sometime after Yosuke dies, Souji is sure he's being haunted. more bittersweet than outright sad :') (also the nsfw is very indirect and light) [warnings for major character death]
A Night Like This: Yosuke's dad finds out Yosuke's dating Souji and does not take it well. Yosuke isn't a complete pushover (but he is still a sad boy) so that's refreshing! [warnings for abuse]
Bruise My Head: Souji gets a bit fat and meets up with Yosuke years after. flashbacks (one is the short nsfw in this fic) are interspersed in this future fic, and it's an interesting examination how they might change and what stays the same (and how there's always something to work on) [warnings for eating disorders + brief self harm mention]
Technique: Yosuke totally knows what a blowjob is. totally. (smut that doesn't go perfectly >>>>>)
Its a Hard Life: Yosuke falls on hard times, becoming a prostitute and gets a regular who looks very familiar (it's Souji's dad). listen, I'm not gonna pretend that this one isn't carried by pure DRAMA and whump [warnings for dubcon + noncon]
Unfortunate Timing: souyo are having phone sex when Nanako has the WORST timing. Souji's dilemma is supremely entertaining, and we love bratty!Yosuke [warnings for Nanako? she's not a part of/aware of the sex per se but she's in the vicinity if that squicks you out]
Experience: Kanji learns a thing or two from established souyo. the Kanji pov is an interesting angle to view souyo and how well they work together [warnings for dp]
I HAVE NO DUNGEON, AND I MUST TROLL!: Yosuke has a personal blog- very personal- that starts getting hate from one anonymous Souji. this fic is unique for presenting the lj/comments true to life and there's a lovely floaty style to the offline sections; this fic is also an interesting look into Jerkji, who we don't see often in fan characterization anymore [warnings for manipulative!Souji; eating disorders (adjacent); dubcon; suicidal actions]
and finally Sympathy Crime even though pretty much everyone already knows about it AKA the fic where Adachi manipulates Yosuke into a relationship and it takes a tole on the investigation. heed the warnings of abuse, rape, torture, and suicidal thoughts/attempts seriously as the fic goes in depth to depict these, the horrifying effects, and then recovery. It does not pull any punches. The fic really understands how anyone can be susceptible to abuse and how important a support system/lack thereof is. It is incredibly well written- and that is in part because it has a message about horrendous acts of abuse. Additionally, it's a 200k+ (i think) word read so it is A Lot. Sympathy Crime is 100% not for everyone, but if you think you can tolerate reading the subject matter, there is a reason why this is a monolithic fic in P4 fandom history
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valkyriexo · 6 months ago
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˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Valkyriexo April 2024 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
— Today marks my 1st month on Stayblr ♡
— I want to thank everyone for their likes, reblogs, and comments so far
— I'm truly touched by the wonderful comments and kind words you've shared. Each comment motivates me to keep writing and sharing.
— When I started sharing my stories, I never expected this much love. Your support and kind words mean everything to me.
— I'm also overjoyed to share that we've surpassed 300 followers! This is truly amazing, and I'm incredibly grateful for your support. As a way to say thank you, I'm planning a special event, but I'm still brainstorming ideas. If you have any suggestions or preferences for what you'd like to see as a thank-you gesture, please feel free to share them!
— Here's a roundup of all the works I've completed in my first month of sharing stories with you:
╰┈➤ texts.
*·˚ᑉ³💬 Skz Texts | Best friends skz accidentally confessing when they're jealous/mad | OT8 | Fluff
*·˚ᑉ³ 💬 Skz Texts | They break up with you | OT8 | angst
*·˚ᑉ³ 💬 Skz Texts | They want you to meet their parents | OT8 | Fluff
*·˚ᑉ³ 💬 Skz Texts | Confessing to another member's girlfriend | OT8 | Fluff, angst
*·˚ᑉ³💬 Skz texts You get scared playfighting | Chan | Comfort, fluff
*·˚ᑉ³ 💬 Skz texts You feel insecure | Hyunjin| Comfort, fluff
╰┈➤ one-shots.
*·˚ᑉ³ Microphones and Mistakes |Part 2 | Chan | Angst
࿐ྂ Amidst the chaos of a highly anticipated performance, You find yourself grappling with unexpected challenges both on and off-stage. With the pressure of your debut song with Stray Kids mounting, you face technical difficulties and personal turmoil, including a rambunctious toddler and a strained relationship with your husband, Chan.
*·˚ᑉ³ Broken Promises | Chan | Angst
࿐ྂ You and your fiancé, Chan, are eagerly planning your wedding, envisioning a future together. But when doubts about your relationship's strength begin to emerge, you're faced to confront a choice; salvage what's left or walk away.
*·˚ᑉ³ Nightmares | Minho| Angst, Comfort
࿐ྂLost in a nightmare where Minho is gone, fear consumes you. Panic claws at your chest, each breath heavy with the weight of imagined loss. In the void left by his absence, shadows that dance mockingly in the corners of your mind. In this surreal realm of darkness, where reality blurs with the surreal, you're left grappling with the haunting question: where has Minho gone?
*·˚ᑉ³Pretty Pretty Princess | Changbin| Fluff
࿐ྂ The adventures of Dad Binnie and Daughter Ha-ri
*·˚ᑉ³ One + One = Three | Hyunjin| Angst, Fluff
࿐ྂIn the serene world of a rising K-pop star, you find solace in the quiet moments shared with your boyfriend, Hyunjin. Their love is carefully concealed, known only to a select few. But when a scandalous article surfaces, threatening to expose their carefully guarded secret, Y/N must navigate the treacherous waters of fame, loyalty, and betrayal.
╰┈➤ series.
Invasion of privacy | Poster | Teaser | Chan | Coming soon
࿐ྂ In the dazzling world of fame, you have it all—a beautiful home, devoted fans, and Chan, the love of your life. But when cryptic messages start arriving, the line between adoration and obsession blurs. With each note, fear grips tighter. Now, you're on a dangerous journey to uncover the truth before it's too late.
╰┈➤ collections.
*·˚ᑉ³ He helps you when.. | Chan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Jisung | Felix| Seungmin | Jeongin
࿐ྂDIVERGENT *·˚ᑉ³ What Faction would they be in? | Headcannon
╰┈➤ headcanons.
*·˚ᑉ³ How Skz would ask you to be theirs | Hyung | Maknae
╰┈➤ thoughts.
*·˚ᑉ³ Late night thoughts 001 | Chan | Fluff, angst
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*·˚ᑉ³ M.LIST | Ko-Fi | Taglist | Thank you for your support | Consider leaving a comment, reblog or like | © 2024 Valkyriexo  licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 
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sunnydaleherald · 28 days ago
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The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Sunday, October 13th
Coach Marin: (faces her) After the fall of the Soviet Union, documents came into light detailing experiments with fish DNA on their Olympic swimmers. Tarpon... mako, shark... But they couldn't crack it. Buffy: And you did... sort of. Why? Coach Marin: What kind of question is that? For the win! To make my team the best they could be! Do you understand we have a shot at the state championship?
~~Go Fish~~
[Drabbles & Short Fiction]
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Pricey Business by veronyxk84 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)
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Self-Love by Val_Creative (Buffy/Buffybot, T)
Full of Memory by unendingwanderlust (Buffy/Giles, Explicit)
I might run out of time by latinadoll (maxfenig) (Buffy/Spike, Explicit)
The Edwardian Cult by LaFoiAveugle (Faith, T)
Poultry by Sdhuskerfan (Buffy/Giles, M)
Irony by KaibaSlaveGirl34 (Marcie/OC, T)
Memo: Buffy, vampire Slayer Re: My death, you by KaibaSlaveGirl34 (Mayor Richard Wilkins, Buffy/Angel, T)
Moving On by esskay123 (Angel/Spike, T)
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An Issue of Betrayal by satinsafe (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)
Who's the Big Bad? by Holly (Buffy/Spike, PG)
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Pricey Business by VeroNyxK84 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)
[Chaptered Fiction]
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Lawfully Wedded - Chapter 1 by violettathepiratequeen (Buffy/Spike, T)
Life's a show, and we all play a part ... - Chapter 1-3 (COMPLETE!) by MCorey1317 (Buffy/Angel, T)
The Dysfunctional Family Reunion - Chapter 1 by Sterek16_2003 (crossover with Bones and Teen Wolf, Buffy/Spike, Willow/Faith, Connor, Illyria, Gunn, Cordelia, M)
Vengeance, Chapter 1-10 (COMPLETE!) by Belladamon29 (Buffy/Angel, Explicit)
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Soul Mate Magic - Chapter Twelve by emma-m-black (Giles/OC, 18+)
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Leaving the Dead Man's Party, Ch. 2 by rkm (Buffy/Spike, R)
The Degradation of Duality [Series Part 2] Ch. 56 by Ragini (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)
Little Light, Ch. 12 by Melme1325 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)
Love Letters You Never Sent Me, Ch. 3 by Spikelover4ever (Buffy/Spike, R)
Unholy Matrimony, Ch. 13 by CheekyKitten (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)
Be Back Before Dawn, Ch. 7 by Blissymbolics (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)
The Science of Being Yours, Ch. 3 by Maxine Eden, ClowniestLivEver (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)
Breaking Point, Ch. 2 by though_you_try (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)
reciprocity, Ch. 3 by HappyWhenItRains (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)
There's A Crack In Every Wall, Ch. 1-7 (COMPLETE!) by bunniesarebad (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only)
From trash to treasure, Ch. 1 by Sweetbutnutty (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)
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Son of a trickster... or huckster... 6 by CrazyDan (Xander, FR18)
Hellmouth Munchkins: A Slayer's Story, Ch. 6 by JoshuAB (crossover with Munchkins and Superman, Buffy, Xander, Willow, FR15)
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Everything Has Changed, Ch. 1-2 (COMPLETE!) by acekoomboom (Buffy/Spike, PG)
I Do! Ch. 38 by Dusty (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)
[Images, Audio & Video]
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Meme: the buffy-cordy dichotomy by shkspr (worksafe)
Manip: A song for a love that shouldn’t have been by spyder-baby (William Pratt/Drusilla, worksafe)
Some quick sketches for Faith Lehane day by aa-arttss (Faith, Buffy/Faith, worksafe)
A fanvid set to Dean's song "DIE 4 YOU" by bananabeans88 (Buffy/Spike)
A Buffy/Giles manip by thecrazyknight (worksafe)
Collage #199 LANY - ILYSB by thedecadentraven (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)
Collage #201 by thedecadentraven (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)
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Prophecy Girl banner by RachM (Buffy, worksafe)
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A digital drawing by R383CCA (Buffy, Spike, worksafe)
[Reviews & Recaps]
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BtVS Season 03 Episode 05 “Homecoming” is iconic for... by freackthejester
So I never completed my Buffy dvd collection growing up… by eto-bee
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Angel Rewatch as an Adult: Are You Now or Have You Ever Been by wizard_of_ahj
Favorite guest star on Buffy by Fatbunnyfoofoo
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New Moon Rising by Buffy the Vampire Straya
[Recs & In Search Of]
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✨ Spuffy Fic Recs — September by veronyxk84
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What alternate Buffy do you want Faith to meet? [some Buffy/Faith fic recs in the replies] by juanabaloo
I wanted the Spuffy scene in Spike’s crypt in 6x03 to be longer [and a related rec request] by thequeenofsastiel
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404-na is looking for advice while watching (how to do a more in depth watch and get the most out of it)
OtherwiseFortune4 seeks fic recs where either Faith or Buffy loses their powers
[Community Announcements]
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Fanged Four Family Bingo 2024 Roundup
[Fandom Discussions]
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Poll [closed]: There are 4 categories of railroad spikes, which one would Spike BTVS use as a nickname for his penis? by aphony-cree
Re: Saw your post about the SA only making Spike the focus, and I agree... [anti-Spike, anti-Spuffy] by becomingpart2
xander is NOT riley’s number one fan by camellcat
do you guys think spike would want to take buffy's name if they ever got married? by camellcat, aphony-cree, girl4music
y'all ever think how the thesis of buffy at the end... by recallthename
i keep getting tripped up by how strangely woke angel the series is (this whole show is trans coded) by notdamien
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer - 1950s Super Panavision 70 [discussion of a trend in AI-generated videos] by NileQT87
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Mine is better.... [Spike and Cordelia have an argument about whose soul is better] by GoSpuffy
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Jasmine vs the First by DonutDaniel
Angel season 4 borrowed ideas by anthonycaruana
What's your take on Gunn? by enrichyournerdpower
Which villains have kind of weird goals? by purplemackem
Parents on the Hellmouth by Lady_Alisandre1066
What do you think of the Slayer bonding between Buffy and Kendra? by jdpm1991
‘Forever’ and season 6 foreshadowing. by JarvisCockerBB
Spike and Buffy were linked from the start by mavelits
Was Pylea’s lack of music a way to keep Sweet banished? by AnAngryPlatypus
[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]
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James Marsters & Emma Caulfield Comic Con Holland 2024 Reports, Pics & Videos via dontkillspike
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Video from Comic Con Holland Amsterdam (includes cosplayers) by James Marsters - The Official Page
James Marsters' next scheduled con appearance is Winnipeg Comiccon 25-27 October via jamie_marsters
Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!
Join the editor team :)
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byberbunk2069 · 6 months ago
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Failgirl Netrunner Power Couple (featuring their kids: Galena and Skippy)
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dragonsongmakhali · 2 months ago
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[People I'd like to get to know better]
Tagged by: @sealrock (ty! ;v;)
Tagging: @otherworldseekers @uldahstreetrat @eorzeanflowers @umbralaether @starrysnowdrop
Last Song: Zenzenzense from Your Name - we have the OST cd playing in the car, and I really love that song in particular, so now it's playing at work.
Favorite Color: Black mostly, red as an accent. I also love dark greens and blues.
Currently Watching: Newer Futurama seasons- we didn't watch them when they came out, so we're catching up now. Love a good Futurama.
Last Movie: My Neighbor Totoro - we're on a working vacation in a remote mountain town in NC, and have been playing Ghibli movies in the evening when we're in for the night because they're so fitting thematically.
Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Sweet. I wish it weren't so, but I am a squad of sugar ants in a human-shaped package.
Relationship Status: Happily married to my best friend :>
Current Obsessions: Kind of floating in the 'old hyperfixation petered out and new one hasn't taken hold yet' gray zone at the moment. Got a lot of life stress that keeps overtaking anything fun. When I get a break, I am excited for my upcoming arcadion scheming though :)
Last Thing in my Search History: 'zat gun', because I had named it in conversation and wanted to confirm I was correct. The gun's full name is the zat'nik'tel, but I didn't remember that far.
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switchscene · 2 days ago
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I promise there's more folk punk recs coming, I swear. I've got a lot going on like trying to get ready for our busking tour in DC/NYC in about a week, so packing and prepping for rough living is a slight priority.
But I'm still seeing people talk about folk punk like it's only AJJ, Days n Daze, and Pat the Bunny's assorted projects. And like don't get me wrong I love those, but there's so much more than that out there and like I like Je-C as much as the next guy but there's so much more out there. So here's a non-exhaustive list of bands I plan to gush about in more detail in the future, if your playlist needs a dose of stuff that's not the same three bands I see tumblr talk about. Think of it as a bit of joy in this trying time.<3
As usual, some of these are folks I know personally, others I'm a couple degrees removed from, and others I just think y'all need to know about. Everyone's on Spotify unless I specifically say they're not.
Blossomin' Bone: Probably some of my best friends. They've got a new album coming but Wild Mosey is my favorite song of theirs, but they're all amazing.
Swamp Rats: Andie's banjo playing is to die for, if I'm ever half as good as her I'll know I've made it. Whiskey and Weed is on repeat a lot. Their dog is cute and I love her.
Little Foot: every time I go see a show of his, I cry. He's even got a button that he sells at shows that says "I cried at the little foot show." Growing Up Is Giving Up is my life motto.
Rambler Kane: A little more country-ish and folksy than some of the other bands here, Pat (not that one) is like the sweetest guy. Pride Before the Fall will sell him I promise.
Rail Yard Ghosts: a little crusty, a little witchy, and also great people according to my buddy who's hopped trains with some of em. Burning Down the Landlord's House is a banger.
Spider Bucket: Met them at a show at the punk house, then went to their fest up in NC. Raining Iguanas is a beautiful love song to the great state of Florida.
X Dirty Fingers: Poignant songs about being crushed by society, and with an amazing voice to boot. I've probably met them but don't remember. Third Shift Love Song is super good.
Chad Hates George: Do you like Days n Daze? Do you wish there was more of them but acoustic? Good news, cause Je-C has another band with his sister, and this is it. Shooting Up Breaking Down is the first song I learned on ukulele.
Escape from the Zoo: Do you like Days n Daze? Do you wish there was more of them but more ska-punk? Good news, this is yet another Jesse Sendejas outfit. Twelve Rounds is my favorite, and the first song I got punched in a pit to.
Matt Rivers: Sings a lot of anti-corpo and union songs. He's a friend of a friend, and I'm told he's a cool guy. Shame on Shaw is a song about the train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio. It doesn't pull any punches.
Of course this list is non-exhaustive, so stay tuned cause I will have full write-ups about these folks eventually and there's even more to come.
Love y'all, and up the punx
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torveiglyart · 3 months ago
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The more I think about my hobbies and achievements (or lack thereof), the weirder I realize my life is. I had never really thought about some of these things until as of recent, specifically when someone introduced to another as "cool". Like what.
First things first that I've talked about on here is I'm an oboe player. Which is already a kind of "different" instrument to play. And, actually, I've been third chair in the All-District wind ensemble for grades 11-12. So there's that.
Another thing I tend to tell people /if prompted/ is I'm a nationally recognized Scottish Highland dancer. I placed third in the southeast regionals and qualified to perform in Las Vegas along with everyone else who qualified across the country. This one is kinda like my "fun fact" during ice breakers 'cause it's something I know won't be repeated.
I'm a digital artist, as you all know, but I also do traditional art often. A few of my paintings in my portfolio helped me score a spot in NCSU's ID program. Maybe one day I'll scan them and post here.
I'm a singer. This one goes multiple ways as in: HS choir, church choir, musical theatre, and bands. I just like singing and got blessed with a nice voice... I think.
I can bake and decorate very well. As in won a cookie decorating contest at the NC State Fair well. That was a good year for me :). But it's also the perfect ganache every time kind of good. I guess the same can be said about cooking given no meal I've made has gone wrong or tasted bad. I seriously hope it stays that way.
This next one only partially counts because while I'm not /fluent/ by any means, I can somewhat comfortably hold a conversation in a few languages. French, Spanish, Japanese, and, strangely enough, Swahili, are languages I've worked on since uhhhh... I don't know at this point. And I've since added Scottish Gaelic to that list to work on. Languages just fascinate me and I plan to travel A LOT when I get the money to do so.
I do archery in my free time. Often enough I have my own bow and arrows. It’s fun. And last time I went to an actual range I never missed a target which I’m totally bragging here but it’s also just a fun activity to get anger out, you know?
Back to the musical theatre thing, I actually was called back for an audition to enroll at UNCSA, but did not make it. And back in freshman year, I did this whole Society Performers multi-class thing, but cut it short to work on my studies. So while I probably could have gone into theatrics, I don't think that would have been the best choice for me.
An going further back to the instruments, I can also play piano, ukulele, and clarinet, but lessons are those were far fewer than oboe.
Time for the weirder stuff.
I definitely have ADHD, and so does my dad, but we're both undiagnosed so let's just not go there.
I can't whistle or roll my tongue. People always seem really surprised by this one but it's not like I'm in a tiny percentage with that one.
I'm nearsighted in one eye and far sighted in the other, and I also only require one contact lense/prescription. Actually let's call this the whacky section.
I'm allergic to celery. Yes, celery. And only that. Not pollen, not pets, not dust, not even ragweed, but celery. And only when it's raw. Cooked in a dish? Fine. Raw in a salad? Cotton-mouthed and itchy. Not terribly sad about it though.
I can't ride a bike. Like, I know how to in theory, but I just never had a bike growing up. My older sister's always had a flat tire, and by the time my younger brother got one, I was too big to ride it. So I scooter instead :).
I have perfect pitch, as in I hear a pitch, and can tell you the note it is, and can tell you what key a song is originally in and sing it. I would get in trouble a lot as a kid for "picking a fight" with my siblings by telling them, "it actually goes like this," and then changing the key they were singing in. While many find this cool or helpful, unless you're a music student or something, it's actually annoying. The car radio is always a few microtones sharp and there's nothing I can do to make it in tune. My choir teacher would also have me sing the starting pitch for songs, no tuner, which was nerve-wracking.
WOW this was just me ranting (bragging) lol, sorry about that, but hey! Now you know more about me!
If you have any questions or comments, don't be afraid to ask! Or, y'know, do the whole asks thing. I think I changed the icon for that but I'm not sure.
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