#nathaniel/riko

[andreilslovechild]

Dark AU

a universe where Mary never ran

or she tried but failed

and Neil is left alone without a mother

to suffer through his father's unique hell

a world where Neil is not Neil but Nathaniel

a world where Nathan decides evermore isnt good enough for his son

and so he trains him

hours and hours spent in basements with pigs and cadavers

slowly working the weakness out of his disgrace of a son

breaking him down before molding him back up into a newer better version of himself

And Nathaniel knows it

Deep down he knows it

but it's almost easier to believe it was his own choice

that he chose this

that he enjoys it

and soon enough his pretending becomes true

blood is a delicious shade of red

his smile is as sharp as a knife and just as deadly

he and his father still fought

oh they fought

but in this world, they fight over the slowest way to kill a man

the most painful wound to inflict

the worst way to be tortured

and Nathaniel has forever forgotten the softness of a boy unwilling to cause pain

Nathan trains him and Nathaniel trains and trains and trains

until the day Kengo dies

until the day Ichirou calls on him

until the day he's assigned to be Riko Moriyama's personal bodyguard

Nathaniel does not play exy

he hadn't played exy since that day long ago when he first met Riko and Kevin

and he's made it clear he won't be playing anymore

he will simply watch

it's easier to keep an eye on Riko that way

when he meets Riko again

he sees a kindred spirit

another man who feels accomplished only when crimson is spilled onto the floor

another man to whom screams are a melody of the most intoxicating kind

they immediately become friends

Nathaniel the only one who wasn't afraid of Riko

Riko the only one immune to Nathaniel's knifes

Riko's knives though

oh Riko's knifes were another story

rikos knives were the only ones Nathaniel was weak too

but if Nathaniel's knifes were ones of destruction and pain

rikos were ones of pleasure and art

the blades cutting just so into Nathaniel's skin to create beautiful pieces of art

to create brands that stayed for as long as Nathaniel lived

blades that sent sparks of pain and pleasure straight to Nathaniel's cock as Riko sits on his dick while branding him with his own initials

cuts that shiver and itch underneath his clothes while he watches Riko come alive on the court from the bleachers

scars that glow white under the florescent lights when he cleans blood splatter from his knife grin after disposing of a threat to his king

and then he returns to his raven-haired king with his wide black eyes and his visions of art that he creates on Nathaniel's body with his bloody pen

[ninyard]

Exy Fans on Twitter (Nathaniel Wesninski edition)

[lilyblueside]

i cannot stop thinking about the parallels between jean and neil. about how jean's story could have easily been neil's, had his mother not taken him and run. we see glimpses of jean's fire and, dare i say, attitude, with his povs during tsc, and how carefully he masks it all after years of abuse and torture. yes, neil is a fighter, but so is jean. when he was first sold to evermore, he pushed back time and time again until he was too tired to go on. if neil had been sold the way jean had, with nobody to save him, i think they would have ended up on the same path. they both mirrors of what could have been

[jeaanmoreau]

there is something hilarious to me about the visual of riko & jean at the supermarket standing in the hair aisle holding up like a childhood picture of nathaniel wesninski and crouching down to try to match the right colour to dye neil's when he was at evermore

"no, jean, it's auburn not copper christ"

"this says we're going to need to bleach it somewhat first or it won't hold..."

"okay well get that then, and maybe some gloves or something..."

"is this giving too mahogany brown? i want it to be dramatic"

[atlalasassy]

The biggest disagreement I see among All For the Game fans isn’t even that bad it’s just whether or not the perfect court tattoos are written as numbers or Roman numerals

[ionlydrinkhotwater]

"However," Ichirou said, "you are your father's son, and your father was someone to me. He is the reason I came down here myself"

"Your lack of survival instincts is supremely distressing," Riko said. "Take that look off your face before I carve it off." Neil hadn't realized he was smiling too, a cruel look he'd inherited from his father. Neil lowered his cup so Riko could get a better look at it. "I would love to see you try. You think I'm afraid of your knife? I'm the Butcher's son."

"Ichirou's smile was cold and fleeting. "Let them call you by whatever name they like. You will always be a Wesninski at heart."

I think deep down both Moriyama boys were lowkey Butcher fanboys, they bring him up alot and yes they say that he was a mere servant and yet they kind of make a big deal of Neil being his son. I think it's why Riko was so desperate to keep Nathaniel (even though he was still a rookie and at that point only had potential) to the point of getting distracted from Kevin. If the Moriyamas practiced herititary titles for their henchmen then Neil would have been the Butcher for whomever the heir was and I think Riko would have seen possession of Nathaniel as a sort of indirect acknowledgement from his dad. Ichirou was happy to smugly steal Neil right from under his stupid younger brother.

Neil was like the toy dad promised them both and that they were both fighting over.

Ichirou did not have to have Neil come up and watch him shoot his brother. I think he was gloating a little.

[hyngx]

you will always be a wesninski to me.

[quarter-lif3crisis]

.........

Art credits: kir_kiss_ , mzer_8, _sv.v_, kir_kiss_

[aglionbyacademia]

I love how unhinged he truly is

[nyaar0n]

Prompt: Neil grows up in the nest.

i participated in @aftgtandn ! as soon as i saw the raven neil prompt i had to snatch it immediately >:] thank you to everyone who appreciated & commented on my work!

extra content here:

originally there was supposed to be 3 artworks in total, but i didn't have the time to finish the second WIP

it was of riko drawing "3" on neil's face, kevin and neil bumping shoulders, and neil saying hi to jean, his partner!

if anyone wants me to finish the 2nd drawing, let me know!

[ninyard]

I know Seth’s existence is a controversial topic because he’s so widely disliked but just think about it for a second. I think Seth would’ve grown to like Neil if he hadn’t been killed.

Like. Blood in the locker. Seth would laugh so hard and everyone would be like dude…stop laughing this is serious and he’s standing there like???? Are you KIDDING ME??? Neil is covered in BLOOD and turns out he’s lying about his age and probably so much more and you expect me NOT to laugh?

Neil’s lies would be so amusing to him. Him fighting Riko would be his favourite thing ever. Like in tfc he was so intrigued by Neil roasting Riko on TV, he literally wished he had went with them just so he could’ve witnessed it. I think Neil’s attitude would make Seth laugh so hard because he’s unintentionally bratty and argumentative and he literally can’t keep himself out of trouble. I’m not saying they’d be friends but I think he would love that little striker with an attitude problem that’s all!

[bigtittygothgirlandrew]

Neil

[kevinsdsy]

honestly, never in my life have i wished for an aftg show, but now that those “they both reached for the gun” edits are going around i’m thinking many MANY thoughts

[sunriseabram]

i like to think that neil adapts his accent to match whoever he is talking to...so does that mean in the nest he spoke in a slight french accent

[joejhang]

nathaniel wesninski vs neil abram josten

something that fascinates me abt the aftg books is the nathaniel vs neil dichotomy. so i'm gonna analyse and dissect it like a completely normal and fine person. spoilers ahead !!! continue at ur own risk

i feel like the fandom has the wrong idea abt nathaniel and neil; they aren't foils, they're mirrors. they're a lot more similar than i think the fandom likes to acknowledge. and i actually don't think neil himself has too much of a problem with that.

allow me to elaborate. neil isn't scared of nathaniel, and nor is he very sensitive about his father. he actually references his father sometimes as a defence mechanism ("you think i'm afraid of your knife? i'm the butcher's son.") his feelings towards his father are, i'd say, deep-rooted fear and resentment. this has to extend somewhat to nathaniel, given how deeply entwined nathaniel wesninski is with both the butcher (neil's childhood abuser, the one person he truly fears) and mary hatford (also one of neil's abusers imo but their relationship is a lot more complex), both of whom neil says he doesn't want to become like. but he also says it might be inevitable that he is a little bit like them anyway (he's right).

i think this is how the fandom differentiates between nathaniel and neil; nathaniel is cold-blooded, ruthless, analytical, a criminal mastermind. nathaniel wesninski sealed the deal for his own survival with ichirou moriyama. nathaniel wesninski endured the torturous conditions in the baltimore house. nathaniel wesninski watched the butcher of baltimore brutally murder a man in front of him at ten years old in castle evermore. nathaniel wesninski followed his mother on the run for eight years, twenty-two cities, sixteen countries and hundreds of fake identities. nathaniel wesninski watched as his mother left bodies and sacrifices in their wake for their own survival. nathaniel wesninski orders hits on the people who have hurt the people he loves. more than once, others in the series note that neil will always be nathaniel wesninski at heart (ichirou, jean) and neil doesn't correct them.

neil josten, on the other hand, is scrappy and messy and impulsive. neil josten has sharply honed survival instincts that he throws away at the first chance of getting to live a real life. neil josten chose to stay at palmetto state university with the full knowledge that he would get himself and many others killed. neil josten clocked r*ko's shit on live tv and at the fall banquet. neil josten trusted a five foot nothing goalkeeper with his life for a year. neil josten saw the opportunity to do what he loved, even if it would kill him, and he took it. neil josten isn't afraid to run his mouth, be it to a teammate who overstepped or a reporter broadcasting on national tv. neil josten doesn't think about the past or the future but lives in the moment, all consequences be damned. neil josten gets to know and starts to care about the foxes even though he knows he shouldn't.

in short; nathaniel wesninski is ice all the way through, unapologetically the butcher and the bird's son, and neil josten is all fire, a young man and a runaway who chose living over survival and friends (family) over safety.

that's the dichotomy, but i actually think people don't realise that they're two sides of the same coin. i don't mean like "neil is nathaniel is nathan" i mean like neil chose to be neil josten, with full knowledge and agency, but that doesn't change that he was nathaniel first. in the fandom's declawing of neil, they forget that he's still the butcher's son, and he isn't afraid to show his teeth.

"neil josten" doesn't exist on his own. he is a product of neil's time with the foxes. neil says himself, at the beginning of the series, neil josten wasn't a person, just another identity that could be discarded at the drop of a hat. it was the foxes that made "neil josten" a real person. they pulled out from that facade the parts of neil that "no disguise could change". neil's character arc from the scared nobody at the beginning of tfc to the brave and happy young man at the end of tkm wouldn't have ever happened without the foxes' influence on his life. that pivotal narration change from neil to nathaniel in tkm is in a sense, neil shielding the foxes and the person he was around them from the cruel reality of his past. the identity of "nathaniel wesninski" is real and undeniable, already bloodstained from his brutal childhood, and untouched by the foxes, and so can't really be ruined by his father's hand (sweet mourning lamb, there is nothing you can do, it has already been done). everything that happened in baltimore, from the legal name change to neil and andrew's conversation in the car ("can i really be neil again?" "i told neil to stay. leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father.") is more of a decision to choose a new life than it is a new identity. "can i really be neil again?" is neil asking if he's really escaped his past and he can truly stay with the foxes and be who he was around them freely. and andrew's "leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father" is more of an assurance to let neil's bloody past go in favour for a new and better life.

note: "let go" does not mean forget or disregard or lose. it just means to accept it but move on. this is important i promise.

after that, neil is able to continue freely in his life. wait no he's not. ichirou comes to find him. right.

the neil and ichirou conversation is one of the most interesting in the series. it says a lot more about neil's character than people seem to notice. neil actively "switches" into the persona of nathaniel wesninski specifically for that conversation. something about how every word has to be true and it has to be the biggest lie he's ever told. neil's switch to nathaniel is a little jarring and a little uncanny. the way he speaks is pure business, coldly rational and disconcertingly subservient to ichirou (disconcerting because of how adamantly neil refused to submit to r*ko and testuji and even his father's people). but it's interesting because it's still neil josten speaking. the narration doesn't change, and the way neil talks is still very much himself, just honed and polished to suit the man ichirou thinks he's speaking to. ichirou wasn't looking for neil abram josten, starting striker for the psu foxes, he was looking for nathaniel wesninski, the only son of the butcher of baltimore. neil knew this, and knew he had a part to play and he plays it so easily it actually fucking works. he isn't even afraid of ichirou. everything he says and does in that scene is careful and thought-out and logic-based, but there is no fear. all of neil's fear in the aftg series quite literally is caused by his father, and can always be traced back to him. since nathan is dead at this point, neil isn't fearful of ichirou, just cautious.

the narration change in tsc is also notable. jean thinks of neil as nathaniel wesninski until the foxes beat the ravens and r*ko dies. this is significant because the idea of "nathaniel wesninski" is also deeply entwined with the perfect court. if neil had signed with the ravens he would've been nathaniel wesninski (03) not neil josten. but once r*ko is dead and once tetsuji steps down, the perfect court no longer exists, and neither does the phantom partner jean was clinging to all these years. there is no nathaniel wesninski (03), no forever partner for jean, even though he has nathaniel's auburn hair and ice-blue eyes and cruel smile, he doesn't have the mark of the perfect court anymore and r*ko and tetsuji aren't around to reinforce that delusion so for jean, now there is only neil josten.

still, he also says later on that neil is a wesninski at heart. neil doesn't really take this personally, from what we can tell. killing a rapist isn't something particular to neil or nathaniel, he would do it whether he was neil abam josten or nathaniel wesninski. but the method, the subtlety, writing the numbers on a napkin, handing them to his mobster uncle, that is such a nathaniel-characteristic thing to do that jean comments on it. neil might have problems with wearing his father's face and his father's smile, but he never denies the truth that he is a little like his father (referencing his hot temper), and he isn't hurt or offended by jean's comment.

this post is getting way too fucking long, even for me, so i won't go into the "abram" of it all, but just know there's something to be said about that, too. i just think the fandom takes the whole "leave nathaniel buried in baltimore" thing a little too literally. nathaniel isn't gone for good, he will always be a part of neil, but neil's accepted that and moved on. he's living his best life, doing what he loves with people he loves, and even tho he does act a little bit like a wesninski at times, he's come to terms with who he is and who he chose to be: neil abram josten.

[ionlydrinkhotwater]

I want to read all the Raven Neil fics. I want to see the 'Perfect Court's' dramatic, codependent, toxic, fluffy, angsty, self involved, bitchy, bloody, hard won relationships.

They must seem so strange to outsiders

And I want Jean and Neil to be adorable with each other and practically joined at the hip.

I want Neil to adore and admire Kevin while also being so jealous of his talent, position and his influence over Jean.

I want Kevin to love Neil and Jean but also be complacent in their terrible circumstances but also try to help in his own way. And maybe Kevin looks at Neil and Jean's much more mutually loving partnership and is a bit jealous and resentful compared to his own partner, then he feels crippling guilt about it.

I want Jean and Kevin to openly admit they fear Riko but quietly acknowledge that Neil scares them too sometimes

And i love it when Neil and Jean are being extra cuddly and protective of each other 🖤❤️🖤❤️

There is so much fertile ground here

PS: Raven Neil fic recs in the comments