#nathaniel oh

[lgspears]

for The Agents of Atlas Movie or TV series, i nominated Haley Tju or Guan Xiaotong as Lei Ling/Aero, Miya Cech or Park Ji-hu as Dani Bi/Crescent, Yoona or Tzuyu as Seol Hee/Luna Snow, Nathaniel Oh or Brandon H. Lee as Lin Lie/Sword Master, Logan Kim or Forrest Wheeler as Amadeus Cho/Brawn, Sanya Lopez or Liza Soberano as Pearl Pangan/Wave and Lee Joo-bin or HoYeon Jung as Ami Han/White Fox.

[nothatsmi]

On my computer I titled this Neil's sanity.

Don't you hate it when your reflection tries to murder you.

Anyway here's an animation I spent the day doing, it's Millport Neil and his Guilt :)

Also thank you so much for all the replies for the animatic! It means so much!! Tbh I would draw and animate more but each time I do so I gotta catch on the school work and I'm getting behind already.. But yeah today I was like meh what's work anyway.

[notcryingtoday]

the obsession is back

[kevinsdsy]

honestly, never in my life have i wished for an aftg show, but now that those “they both reached for the gun” edits are going around i’m thinking many MANY thoughts

[lords-of-fortune]

I love how Howe is like. Just some guy who works for Loghain if you play most routes.

Like if you're a Cousland, absolutely fuck that guy he killed your family, etc etc. But if you're an Amell or a Surana in particular (who are more isolated from regular Fereldan politics in my brain, but I suppose that depends on how you imagine the Circle and how interested in politics your character is) you might have zero idea about who this tool is other than "he's the acting arl of Denerim and he works for the dude who's tried to kill us a few times". Which admittedly is a perfectly valid reason to dislike him, and that is added to once you see the torture stuff while rescuing Anora, but like. At this point you've fought so many people and dealt with so many nobles and you've got the landsmeet looming over your head quite imminently, not to mention the Archdemon. So it's very plausible that your non-Cousland Warden can just kinda forget about him in all but the vaguest sense.

And then Nathaniel breaks into your new castle (his old castle so it stings more for him) to kill you but you barely remember killing his dad in the first place so you're just like oh. Sorry bout that. Wanna join my blood club?

[lightlytoastedcashews]

TSC 3 !!!!!! TSC 3 !!!!!!! TSC 3 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[aftg-rot]

thinking about the "perfect court" again. honestly; just how fucking unstoppable it would be, if they had riko, kevin, jean, nathaniel and andrew?! it would be GENUINELY terrifying.

[pingu-4]

I've seen a lot of raven!Neil fics where neil helps jean and Kevin escape form ravens and he escapes with them/joins them later.

But what I really need to see is a fic from jean's and kevin's pov, where they escape but Neil is stuck being a raven, stuck being nathaniel.

I want to see them join foxes but still think about what is happening with Neil right now, what punishments he is getting for their escape. I want to see them scared for his well-being, while not being able to patch him up or do anything. I want to see them trying to heal, being full of guilt at the same time, because Neil, their ally, their savior, their brother is probably going through hell because of them right now and he's all alone. I want to see them guilty, because Neil has helped them so many times, he had saved them and they left him there to suffer, even though they know that if they even tried to come back to nest Neil would kill them himself.

I want to see Jean mourning his partner forever. I want to see him turining around expecting Neil to be there only to see empty spot next to him. I want to see him grabing car keys to go back to nest, to Neil, when loneliness, guilt, fear, everything is too much, only to be stopped by Kevin from doing anything stupid, from going back to their abusers. I want him trying to keep up on living, only because Neil gave up on his freedom, his life for it. I want Jean to miss his little British devil, while literally anything reminds him of neil.

I want Kevin getting himself drunk only not to think about about what it cost for him to be at foxes, not to think about who pays for it, who he had left behind. I want him to wonder why Neil sacrifaced himself for him, he understands why Neil did it for jean, but him? What did he do to deserve it? I want him to feel guilty he didn't help Neil more, to wonder why he didn't do anything when he had the chance, wonder if he would be brave enough to do anything different if he had a chance to. I want Kevin to miss this loud mouth who gave him a chance of better life.

I want them both to live with a ghost of Neil among them. To talk about him, what would he do in any situation, what they remember about him even though it causes them pain and they are trying to move on, because they are too afraid to forget about him. I want them to wonder why they didn't manage to force him to go with them. I want to see them hoping to see Neil every morning when they wake up, only to be met with harsh reality. To think every short red-head might be him. To have so many feeling when they get that one phone call from Neil. To wonder if there is any way that they can help him. I want to see them as puzzles with one piece missing, learning to live that way.

I want to see the foxes wondering who that raven jean and Kevin often talk about is. To wonder who is that guy that they never met, that had such a big impact and is so important to these two broken boys. I want foxes to see Kevin and jean and just know that they lost something, that even though they escaped and are healing, they are still grieving someone. I want them to hear stories that involve that third person, that "neil" but never getting a direct answer as to who exactly he is and what happened to him.

I want Jean and Kevin hearing the news that "nathaniel wesninski" got injured in some freaky incident and them knowing it wasn't and incident. I want them to be terryfied of what riko did to Neil. Or being even more terryfied of what if it was Neil that did something to himself. They know he is strong, stronger then them both, but what if when he is all alone, facing hell, without any support, without anyone who he has to fight for he finally gave up and decided to die on his own terms?

I want them to see other news, that he had died from these injures, and just break down not believing that Neil, their Neil is gone. Is gone and they weren't there for him in his last moment. I want Kevin and jean to wonder if he knew how much he mattered to them, to wonder if they had said it to him, made it aware to him enough times. I want them to suffer because they promised that all of them will escape one day, but while Kevin and Jean are foxes now, Neil forever will be stuck a raven, forever will be remembered as nathaniel wesninski by most people, will never be able to make Neil a real person for someone else then the three of them. I want them to think about how the one person who saved their lifes, gave them a reason to live, died himself and they didn't do anything to prevent it, didn't manage to stop it. I want them to finally spill all the truth to the foxes. To see Jean and kevin learning to live with all of it, trying to live to their fullest, maybe even dedicating their games to Neil. For them, to do it for themselves. And for Neil.

Or i want them to finally have enough, realizing that this is the last moment where they can do something to help, when they hear about the injury. To see them somehow getting Neil out and seeing how much more he is hurt, mentally and physically than he was the last time they saw him, but still being the same old neil. Being happy that he finally is with them but also sad seeing him in that state. I want them to get Neil into foxes, not wanting to leave him, worried, being very protective of him and helping him heal too. Making neil josten real. To have foxes to finally meet that Neil they heard about and being surprised to see how Kevin and jean, not very warm or open people are so fond of him, how they act so different towards him, how they finally are the way they were supposed to be. Together.

[purplecatghostposts]

Miraculous Ladybug characters and what character in Mario Kart 8 I think they choose as well as if they’re good at the game, based on the vibes I get from them!

Marinette: Used to play Peach but now is purely loyal to Toadette and Toadette ONLY! Canonically great at video games, so Mario Kart is naturally included.

Adrien: CAT PEACH. If anyone else chooses Cat Peach, he immediately gives them a DEVASTATED look and they swap immediately. Very good at the game, he has three stars on every cup!

Alya: Daisy. She will FIGHT anyone else trying to pick Daisy. Nobody is taking Daisy from her. She’s pretty decent at the game but is mostly just here to have fun and maybe kick some ass.

Nino: Strikes me as either a Yoshi guy or Shy Guy guy, though he’s chill if other people wanna pick them. Also decent but has a grudge against certain NPC opponents.

Chloé: Pink. Gold. Peach. Threatens to sue if anyone else takes her. She’s actually pretty good at the game and tends to be VERY agro. No mercy, she needs to WIN.

Kagami: Has swapped between a lot of different people but settled on Link. Incredibly intense in-game. She’s willing to battle to the death.

Félix: Isabelle from Animal Crossing. Do not let it fool you. He wants to WIN and he will red shell you at the worst time to do it.

Luka: Claims he’ll ‘Choose anybody’ but he’ll go for Rosalina if given the choice. He’s just trying to have fun and is 90% of the reason why controllers are not thrown at the TV. Juleka claims he’s “Going easy” on everyone so less feelings will be hurt. (She’s right, he loses on purpose a lot.)

Juleka: Dry Bones or Dry Bowser, she thinks they’re both cool. Doesn’t usually get top 5 if everyone is playing but consistently gets 6-7th! Hitting people with red and blue shells is kinda cathartic for her.

Rose: Sometimes picks one of the baby versions of the characters, but other times chooses one of Bowser’s kids, like Wendy or Roy. The former is for when she’s playing to have fun, the latter is for when she’s gunning for top 3.

Zoé: Pretended to be bad at the game until she realized she didn’t need to spare anyone’s feelings. Very good at the game, knows a lot of the techniques to give herself mini boosts. She LOVES Boswer Jr., especially after becoming Kitty Noire.

Sabrina: Genuinely one of the best players… When she’s not playing with Chloé. Otherwise she’s always letting her win, aiding her the best she can, and pretty much always gets whatever rank is directly behind hers. Claims her favorite character is Baby Peach (it’s actually King Boo).

Kim: DONKEY KONG. Also occasionally Wario. He’s actually kinda terrible at the game but he tends to spams items and makes that everyone else’s problem.

Max: Chooses one of the Inkling Kids (he strikes me as someone who also probably loves Splatoon). He’s good at the game but with how many other people are also good at the game, sometimes he gets overshined. He’s better at fighting games.

Alix: Waluigi 100%. She thinks he’s hilarious and while she doesn’t actually care, she WILL bring up ‘Waluigi should’ve been in Smash Ultimate’ At some point, because she thinks it’s funny. Not great at the game, is here purely to spam items and fuck over as many people as possible.

Myléne: Terrible at the game but plays to have fun! Likes to play Boswer because Ivan has cosplayed as him before.

Ivan: Also terrible at the game but likes losing alongside Myléne. Likes to play as Luigi, though occasionally chooses Dry Boswer if no one else has.

Nathaniel: Rarely plays but will choose Rosalina or Lemmy if he does. Likes to play against other casual people but usually dips if too many competitive people are playing at once.

Marc: Surprisingly really good though isn’t always good about asking if he can have a turn or not. Loves to pick the animal crossing villagers if they haven’t been chosen.

Lila: Claims she’s won a championship before. Is actually terrible at the game with the worst luck and very rarely plays. The first time she was gonna play with the class, she selected Cat Peach. Everyone stared at her as Adrien gave her the most devastated look. She panicked and faked an injury to stop playing altogether.

[anotherqueersnailowner]

Trans? Need a Name?

i will fucking name you hmu

Edit: istg y'all if you want a name ask for one via reblogs and at the very least tell me your gender or pronouns Im not scrolling through all the damn comments and looking at your bio looking for basic info names are reblog only from this point forward (& I probably won't get to it bc I never check my tumblr)

[exy-conspiracies]

The foxes only won the championship because of demon worship. Hear me out, because this will take a bit to explain but it all has to do with that wesninski guy.

We all know the foxes were a useless untalented mess until that guy joined and suddenly they started winning games.

That whole thing with his father being a serial killer/mass murderer? Important. The whole mafia/organized crime explanation? I just don't buy it. No mafia or gang in documented history has ever needed THAT much killing to sustain themselves, and that many people disappearing will always attract attention which gangs would rather avoid, cuz it get expensive buying yourself out of that. So clearly there was a different reason for all that murdering. And i think it was satanist human sacrifices. There's a reason red hair is associated with witchcraft.

So back to the foxes: the wesninski kid arrives, one of their players dies of an "overdose" and suddenly the foxes start playing well? I think they, under the guidance of witch wesninski jr. sacrificed seth gordon in exchange for exy talent. But of course one sacrifice isn't enough to satisfy a demon so they promised riko's soul as well if they won the championship. Thats why minyard was bold enough to attack riko so openly on camera, because the devil would come for them if they didn't fulfill their part and deliver riko. And they did, riko is dead because of them. Sacrificed to the devil for something as ridiculous as an exy trophy.

.

[gwinverarrouz]

Just finished rereading the first Bartimaeus book and yeah, yeah, I can see why I loved these books so much as a child :>

I feel like these illustrations aren't 100% faithful to the source material but maybe they're how Bart wished things happened, you know??

[sskk-manifesto]

Oh my God is he gathering blood for Hawthorne's “blood bullets”???

[nathaniel-underwood-is-an-intj]

Looong rant about chapter 16 Ptolemy's Gate and how being passive can add to the cycle of ab*se.

oof so I just read when Nat goes to see Ms Lutyens and I can't help but be absolutely furious at her??

I know that's maybe a little bit unfair given she's frightened of him as a magician and is obviously angry when she finds out the department he's responsible for, but honestly it kinda brings up the problem with inadvertent bystanders to child ab*se in my mind.

And I'm definitely not blaming her solely for who Nat becomes but it makes me think of all those people in huge child ab*se cases who give interviews to press about all the things they noticed that were wrong but they just...never do anything?

She stood up for him against Lovelace, and when Nat thanked her- "I wanted to say that I know you were trying to save me, and-"

''Yes, and I'm sorry I didn't" Like girl be for real did you really think that alone would undo the years of indoctrination and abuse he's already suffered and prevent years worth of the same in the years to come? And she won't take responsibility - "My job is with children, not the adults they become" and again while it seems harsh to blame her for who Nat becomes, it's so much easier to pass the blame to people who are more directly responsible rather than acknowledging you also play a part.

I think it hurts so much more because it's her specifically- Nat goes to her in sheer desperation, it almost seems like a goodbye- he wants to thank her, tries to set her up in a job that will pay well and struggles to communicate he's trying to help. At this point he thinks Bartimaeus has been summoned by another magician and his birth name will be revealed. He's sure he's about to die and if not he'll be stood on trial and lose everything.

He goes to her because she represents the peaceful moments from his childhood when he got away from his master. He's scared and feeling lost and really it's call for help; but he doesn't ask for anything he just wants to make her feel proud of him- he's looking for that validation that he's been chasing since childhood.

And that shows he still does have that little bit of childhood innocence in him; he thinks she will be proud, thinks she'll see him as the same little boy in the garden gazing up at his teacher in adoration. He can't quite grasp why she's separated the man stood before her from that little boy. Because in that moment the child inside Nathaniel is seeking comfort AND THAT'S WHY it makes me so angry. She's completely given up on him when he's at his lowest ebb, because she doesn't want to be associated with the magician he's become. As if it isn't a massive step in the right direction that he saught her out in the first place- what other magican would bother? I wonder if that's why she reacted so strongly to seeing him again? Before that moment she could go about her life wondering if /pretending her attempt to protect him was enough, and now she realises it wasn't, of course it wasn't, and the image she had of Nathaniel's childhood innocence is completely ruined in her mind.

Or was her contempt for him even grater than Nat realised? She was naturally disgusted by the rhetoric he'd started to repeat from a young age, and gently tried to correct him although she was clearly angry- was she just resigned to the fact that there is little else she could do to change his future? I always thought- couldn't she have looked for him? The Underwood house fire was in the papers and they mentioned the apprentice was being searched for. Did she ever worry about him? Surely something must have been in the papers since- an announcement of new ministers, ANYTHING! Look at how much research Kitty did to find out about Bartimaeus and Ptolemy. I just don't think Rosanna Lutyens cared enough, realistically Nathaniel wasn't hard to find- but he was no longer her responsibility so she could turn a blind eye.

And sadly it's not just her- I know everyone loves Martha Underwood including Nat; but I think her submissiveness to her husband has a negative effect on Nathaniel as well. In AOS when Nat is locked in his room for ages after setting the mites loose, and is forbidden to have any contact with anyone and she won't talk with him. I know she's been told by Mr. Underwood she can't, but it still boils my blood. She's an adult and going along with ignoring Nathaniel because her husband told her to...I can't even begin to imagine the psychological damage that would do to a 10 year old child. (It could be argued she's frightened of the consequences if her husband finds out she's disobeyed him which is fair, he could always be watching through magic- but this is Arthur Underwood we're talking about. He's lazy, oblivious and weak I doubt he'd expend all that energy each day to check up on her.)

And It's even more painful that Nathaniel is often described as fiercely loyal to her and I think to Ms Lutyens as well- he doesn't expect to be treated well by Arthur Underwood but he loved Mrs Underwood and Ms Lutyens so much he started to view them through a rose-coloured lense. He never feels betrayed by either of them, even though they absolutely let him down, because the pedestal he's put them on is too high AND THAT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYS ME.

Would things with Nathaniel have been any different if Mrs Underwood hadn't died? I don't really think so. Do you think she'd see Nathaniel's temper at 14 years old and be reminded of Arthur Underwood? He was awful, absolutely awful to Nat and to her; but he was under so much stress in an underfunded departement, where pressure was being put on him by superiors to accomplish far more than they knew him to be capable of, and he took it out on the easiest target. Nathaniel ends up in exactly the same place and he starts to take it out on the only person around him- Bartimaeus. Would he snap at Mrs Underwood all the time if she were still there? Because he's learnt that behaviour from his father figure, and subconsciously learnt from his mother figure that she'll put up with it. He learnt from the woman he loved so deeply, that if you don't resist, people will walk all over you. So you have to maintain control even if it ends up hurting people you care about because no one will step in to stop the suffering no matter how much you love them, no matter how much you want them too.

It's easy to blame Arthur Underwood and Simon Lovelace and the magicians that actively hurt Nathaniel but I just feel like it's a bit disingenuous not to acknowledge the role of those doing passive harm. It's really mean to say it but even Bartimaeus plays a role- he knows Nat is clinging on to him because he can't 'bring himself to break this last connection' (to his childhood) but instead of bringing it up properly he 'taunts' Nathaniel- a boy who has been taunted for his weakness by his master for years. And even in AOS when Nathaniel tells Bartimaeus he was beaten for the mites incident Bart just kinda shrugs it off. Like I get it, why should Bartimaeus do anything, he's suffered way worse due to the system so he doesn't owe Nat anything right? But from Nat's point of view this is the first and only time he's mentioned to anyone what has happened to him and nothing changes. It's like another lesson learnt: telling someone about it doesn't help. Another nail in the coffin.

And I like all these characters, I feel bad for them. They're all victims of the system, I think the chapter with Ms Lutyens is just the straw that broke the camel's back for me. All of those little opportunities that are insignificant to the narrative over all; the commoners have it worse, Nathaniel is in a privileged position in society, exerting control over others. He's very morally grey, crossing over into objectively bad person territory but I love him with my whole heart and all of those insignificant moments would have been massive to him whether he was conscious of it or not.

And it goes all the way back to the beginning with Nat's parents giving him up to the magicians at 5 years old. I can't get the image of that little boy sat crying all alone in the government building. And he's not going somewhere safer, or somewhere he'll be happier and more loved. Giving your child over to a total stranger, oh he'll be totally fine won't he? He'll grow up to be a magician and far richer than you'll ever be, he'll be happy and comfortable and be grateful he got to grow up in luxury. There's no way a stranger you've never met, who the majority of society is terrified of would ever hurt a vulnerable little kid right? And if they do? Well you aren't responsible anymore, how could you know? What could you possibly do against the magician taking care of him?

Every little thing is another grain of sand tipping the scale. Did anyone else have to analyse An Inspector Calls in school? It feels like that to me- those BIG moments and all the little moments in between that add onto the pile.

And it goes on to cause problems in wider society too- ab*se is so normalised to the magicians, they casually ask Underwood if he hits Nathaniel like it's nothing. Because to them it is nothing, they've all grown up in the same circumstances and are repeating what they've learnt as children. I can't help but feel a little sorry for them all, especially when they aren't looked at through the black and white lense of 'argh these people are the evil arseholes look at how they treat everyone around them, screw these guys.' When we see those little glimpses of humanity like Simon's anxiety with the amulet; looking to his master and father figure Schyler for reassurance, and what's sad is that Nat is "reminded...of his own master's cold impatience" It's clear Simon looks up to his master, wants to make him proud and loves him. But it seems like Schyler has just trained Simon up so he can get power through him later on. I love the little hints of similarities between Simon and Nathaniel; the anxious mannerisms like fiddling with his hair that Nathaniel starts to develop, the way their master's talk to them. Even though they're actively working against each other in AOS and Simon is placed firmly in the baddies category and Nat in the goodies category at this point in the series; these things always hinted to me they had similar childhoods, how was Simon treated? When he had the imp beat Nat into unconsciousness, was it because he'd had the same punishment used against him? Did he know the magicians in the room would do nothing to stop him because no one stopped it from happening to him? Did he ever have a teacher stand up for him only for it to change nothing in the end because all the negative influences were so much stronger? Is the reason he loves Schyler like a dad because he's almost developed Stockholm syndrome? It looks like love because he's never known anything else.

And Arthur Underwood- who doesn't think his upbringing, and being taken away from his family ever did him any harm- doesn't realise the harm done is that he doesn't even know another way of raising Nathaniel, because he was never shown another way. His childhood may also have been filled with people who hurt him and the people that didn't do enough to intervene.

There are so many psychology studies that show children copy everything they see the adults in their life doing. Nathaniel copies the magicians behaviour towards spirits and on a subconscious level I think he copies all the submissive people in his life. How many times does he end up upset and frustrated with the fact he seems to be going nowhere and how many times does he just hope things will be different rather than taking postive action.

I dislike the actions the magicians end up taking but I also find them fascinating to analyse. I tend to prefer villains in media because they're usually slightly more complex individuals and I love to think about how they ended up that way. They can all be seen as victims of their circumstances in a way, despite all the power and privilege they have had terrible and traumatic childhoods, and if the commoners had no valuable worldy possessions at least they had a sense of togetherness; of love and understanding and selflessness. I wonder if the magicians hated them at least partly because of that. Because out in the sea of faces of the commoners talking about nothing important, doing nothing great and noble- could be the parents that abandoned them. And when your life is on the line daily because of working with spirits, and your colleagues want to stab you in the back, sometimes not being responsible for anything important looks good. But you can't leave your life as a magician, it would be too difficult; you have nowhere to go, no real friends, no one who really loves you. So it's better to stay and be a submissive bystander in your own life because it's so much easier.

Doing nothing is doing something- being passive can be just as harmful.

[deduction-substitute]

I really like this one

[rusik-usik-art]