#nathaniel is loghain’s bastard

[deedeemactir]

But how could Loghain be Nathaniel’s father, you say?

Loghain was in love with both Maric & Rowan, but because those three were too dumb to figure out polyamory, Loghain had to give them up for Ferelden. Logically, on the night of the royal wedding, Loghain got wasted & slept with a beautiful young woman. That young woman was Eliane Bryland.

Fast forward several months later, Eliane is married to Rendon Howe, and Loghain is set to marry Celia. Eliane is expecting — a little too soon. Thus, Rendon is denied his firstborn son, because it’s Loghain’s child she’s expecting, from their one night stand all those months ago. To save face for both of them, Rendon agrees to raise the boy as his own. Like Loghain, Eliane has black hair and light eyes (as evidenced by her portrait in Awakening). Maybe the child will look enough like her that none of the nobility will be the wiser. And Rendon definitely won’t ever pull the You Owe Me guilt trip card on Loghain. (/s)

Now, do you remember Nathaniel talking about how his father hated his mother? Do you remember Nathaniel talking about how his grandmother would treat not just his father, but him as well, when she’d visit? Do you remember how it’s implied that Rendon preferred Thomas to Nathaniel?

And poor Nathaniel, who begged to stay with his father, was sent away instead to the Free Marches when he was old enough to look like the spitting image of Loghain Mac Tir in his Hero of River Dane days and cause all the nobles to whisper about it!

Just so Nathaniel could go to the Tourney and find out that he even inherited his daddy’s talent with a bow.

[sulky-valkyrie]

Happy Friday!! For DADWC, maybe "I thought you said we had something worth fighting for- was that just another lie too?" for Anders/Nathaniel? 🥺

haiiiiiiii Gin, have a sequel to this for @dadrunkwriting

screenshot yoinked from this video, which is a delightful animated banter compilation

Trusting you was a mistake.

Anders’ parting shot and rage in his voice would've broken Nate's resolve if Loghain hadn't grabbed his elbow.  This contingency plan had been his wretched idea, brought up last night while they'd listened to his frantic pacing one room over.  Anders had said getting Karl out was the goal, that he'd burn the city down to see him free, so Nate had agreed to it as a last resort.

A last resort.  Not a bargaining chip to be tossed out at the merest hint of disagreement.  He barely heard, barely cared about Loghain and the Knight Captain's conversation as they walked through the same gate Anders had been dragged through moments before.  

“There's a list of the recently Harrowed in the Knight Commander’s –”

“Not necessary,” Loghain interrupted.  “I want someone seasoned.  A known quantity.  Already trained, not some barely housebroken robe barely able to tie his boots.”

Anders was more than that, you bastard.  He is more.

The Knight Captain cleared his throat.  “Traditionally, Wardens recruit from the Circle those who haven't yet proven themselves assets due to the risks of losing such valuable skills.”

Nate opened his mouth to snarl that they aren't assets, they're people, but Loghain stepped on his foot, grinding his mailed boot against the bone with an insincere apology, before sighing at the Knight Captain.  “A spirit healer should more than make up for any loss of revenue.  I want a list: men who've been Harrowed for at least five years with no disciplinary history.”

“Men only?” The Knight Captain's eyebrow arched up curiously.  “Are they better Wardens than women?”

Nate briefly entertained a fantasy of watching Velanna melt his eyeballs from his sockets as Loghain made up some drivel about recruitment quotas.  In truth, men made less dangerous Wardens, not better ones, but darkspawn breeding habits simply weren't a thing to discuss with the uninitiated.  

The Knight Captain sighed and changed course.  “Elsa would know best.”

“A moment.”  Loghain paused to fish a sealed letter out of his pouch.  “Give that to our former companion.”  He glanced at the Knight Captain.  “I assume he's been taken to your holding cells?”

The wax seal was imprinted with Brosca’ own signet (a stylized middle finger) and it wasn't addressed to Anders, but Nate.  He took the letter and he hid a frown.  This hadn't been in the plan.  In fact, they'd barely had a plan at all: trade Anders for Karl if they had to, then break Anders back out.  Details hadn't been important when they'd discussed hypotheticals last night, but now, the hypotheticals had become practicals, and only Loghain seemed to have any idea what was going on.  “Yes, ser.” He glanced at the Knight Captain, then quickly away.  The expression on his face when he'd cast that smite on Anders had been nothing short of cruel glee, more sickening to see than the way Anders had gone gray and stumbled into his captors’ grip.  “Where are the cells?”

“Up the right, down the hall, and on the left.”

Nate beat a hasty retreat.  An older Templar with steely gray hair was guarding the cell, though guarding it was a generous description.  He sat on a chair with his back to the opposite wall, arms folded, and head tilted to rest against the stone.  “Ready?” he asked without opening his eyes.

“For what?” Nate asked.

The Templar sat up in shock.  “Then you’re not…” he trailed off as his eyes traveled over Nate’s Warden armor.  “My mistake.  Knight Templar Emeric, at your service.”

What the void is going on?  “I’d like to speak to An – the prisoner.  In private.”

Emeric didn’t argue with him, just stood up and nodded crisply.  “Take your time.”  With that, he walked out.  What the void is going on?

Nate unfolded the letter as soon as the jingle of Emeric’s armor faded down the hall.  Another paper was inside, unaddressed and sealed.  Nate tucked it behind the message as he read Brosca’s blocky handwriting.  And read it again. 

Carta smuggles lyrium in through Templar barracks.  Been paying out my own pocket so they smuggle some other things out too.  Find the one who knows about Harrith. Give the other letter to Anders.

Did Brosca plan this?  Or just plan for it?  Did Loghain know?  Is that why he insisted on coming along?  The Commander hadn’t even been at Vigil’s Keep when they’d left, so he must’ve had the letters already.  

With more confidence than he felt, Nate approached the bars.  “Anders, I’m getting you out.”

The cell didn’t even have a bed.  Just two stools and manacles embedded in the walls.  Anders sat on one of the stools and stared at the ground.  His left arm hung limply at his side, shoulder still dislocated, and, even in the flickering torchlight, Nate could see a bruise darkening his cheek.  Maker, he's been in custody barely twenty minutes.  “Fuck off, Howe.  Just take Karl and go.”

“Loghain's taking care of that.”  I hope.  “And I'm taking care of you.”  I hope. 

“Taken care of me enough, I think,” he snarled.  “Don't worry, they'll finish the job.”  He hiccuped and covered his mouth as he shuddered.  “They must lace their magebane with something; even if I had mana, it'd be hard to cast when I feel like I might throw up any minute now.  Good thing for the both of us, I guess.  Asshole.”

Nate held up the smaller letter.  The movement caught Anders’ attention, and he glanced up before flicking his eyes away with a scowl.  “Brosca sent this.  For you.  Loghain had it.”  He tossed it into the cell.

Anders watched it flutter to the ground but made no move to pick it up.  “Don't want it.  Don't want anything from you.  Or them.”  He turned away, wincing when his arm brushed the edge of the stool.  “You didn't have to come.  Neither of you.  Could’ve just let me go, and probably got the same result: me, gone.  But no, you had to tag along, and for what?  Just make sure they did it properly?  You going to stay and watch the branding?  Report back that the infamous apostate and troublemaker is done for?”

“It wasn't –”

“You said you cared, Nate,” Anders interrupted softly.  “That we – that Karl and I had something worth fighting for, and, Maker damn me, I believed you.  When did it change? Or was it always a lie?  Would you rather see me dead than with anyone else?  Was that it?”

Nate rubbed his face.  “I'm trying to get you out, Anders.”

“You fucking put me here.”

The clank of Templar boots startled them both. “Just read the fucking letter,” Nate hissed before turning around.

It was Emeric again.  He was sweating and his cheeks were red, as if he was unused to running.  “I said take your time, but the Knight Commander is not happy about your choice of conscriptee.”

Nate glanced down at the message again.  “I’m looking for someone who knows Harrith?”

“Thank the Maker,” Emeric sighed.  He pulled out his keys and unlocked Anders’ cell.  “Nothing to be done about the magebane, I’m afraid.  Or your arm.”  He frowned as Anders stood up.  “Or your face.  Wilmod and Mettin are… overzealous.  It wasn’t like this when I joined.”  

As he stepped out, Anders muttered something that sounded like, “heard that before.”  The letter was in his hand and open.  He didn't look pleased about its contents, but Nate couldn't care less what he thought as long as it got him out.

That said, he couldn’t simply ignore his injuries.  He pulled a small healing potion from his pouch and held it out.  Anders stared at it for a few moments then rolled his eyes.  “The void am I going to do with that when I can't use my fucking arm?”

Asshole. “Generally, you drink it.”

Emeric shooed them down the hall.  “Keep going, lads; the tunnel is behind my wardrobe and it gets harder to move myself every year.  You know, I haven't done this since Maddox's – nevermind.  Used to be one or two a month before Commander Stannard and her roll calls and mandatory counts twice a day, and when Maurevar was doing it, we could slip out one a week to the Collective.”  He paused at the door.  “Harrith visited when he was dying.  Lyrium, you know.  It kills us all eventually, either from too much or not enough.  They told me everything.  The Carta, the Collective, the deals.  It's never been enough, but it was the best we could manage.  I took it over…  oh, about six years ago.  Easy money, I thought.  But it wasn't.  Instead I just see all the mages I can't help.  The ones the Collective doesn't know about.  The ones who can't pay the Carta for protection.”  

He shook his head as he walked to the edge of the wardrobe and pushed.  It barely shifted an inch, and he sighed as he glanced at Nate.  “That Warden strength might come in useful right about now.”

Nate stuffed Brosca’s letter in his pocket, then moved next to Emeric.  “Where's it going?”

“Just away from the wall.”  Emeric stepped back and grabbed a lantern.  

It scraped on the floor as Nate shoved it across the room to reveal a stone archway.  It looked like the opening had been plastered over years ago, and he ran his fingers over it skeptically.  “Your entrance is lacking.”

Anders snorted.  “That's what she said.”

“You think a smuggler tunnel would survive if we just hid it with furniture?” Emeric chuckled.  He turned to hand the lantern to Anders, frowned at his limp arm, and set it down on the desk.  “It's a rune.  Designed by one of the first mages Maurevar helped.  Said he learned it from the Wardens.”  He pulled a knife off his belt and slashed his hand.  “Responds to lyrium infused blood, so only a Templar can open it.  And no Templar would be foolish enough to wound himself in the presence of an apostate, of course.”  He cut the back of his wrist, then smeared it on his fingers before touching them to seven spots on the wall.  It glowed green, then vanished into mist as he gestured toward Anders.  “The tunnel leads down to a small harbor.  Take the skiff and follow the shore away from Kirkwall until you reach a cave marked with dwarven carvings.  The Carta know the boat, and will take you wherever you need to go.”

Nate grabbed the lantern.  “Let's go, then.”

Anders shook his head.  “Get Karl out.  I'll meet you at the inn, Andraste willing.”

“You're just – what if it's a trap?” Nate spluttered, then glanced at Emeric.  “No offense intended, of course, just – Anders, are you certain?”

“Get. Karl. Out.”  He pressed the note into Nate's palm.  “We'll figure the rest out later.  Or not.  I don't care.”

He looked down.  More blocky script.

If he doesn’t bring you back, he dies.  My word as a thief.

“Well,” Nate mumbled.  “And here I was thinking death threats were behind us.”

Anders grinned sadly.  “Welcome to the Wardens.”  With that, he ducked under the archway and disappeared into the dark.

[heylavellan]

Basileus "Baz" Cousland

The youngest of the Cousland brothers. Trusted confidante of the Prince Consort and powerful teyrn in his own right. The folks of Highever speak kindly of him, of how his castle to date hasn't been fully repaired. Revered Mother receives large donations from the family. Banns and Arls seem frustrated with his policy, though not enough to revoke their fealty. Wife seems to be Chantry inclined and disapproves of hiding Flanagan in their court.

- A file from Sister Nightingale's dossier for Divine Justinia.

˚∘⊰⋆ about ⋆⊱∘˚

age: 41 (post-trespasser)

pronouns: he/him

class: tempest rogue

beliefs: Andrastian

strengths: great listener, patient, just

weaknesses: chronically stressed, overprotective, hater

family: Andrea (wife, deceased), Eleanor (13, daughter), Flanagan "Flick" (9, son), Lucian (4, son), Tavish (1ish, son)

Andrea and Basileus got married quite young. Baz was visiting Andrea's family, as their firstborn was due soon when the Howes destroyed Castle Cousland. They eventually managed to return to the castle, where they had their remaining four children.

As the Mage Rebellion began, the couple began to drift apart due to their conflicting views. The family attended the Conclave as a representative of Ferelden nobility. The explosion killed Andrea, while it sent Lucian and Baz to the Fade.

Fergus married Anora as her consort once she took the throne at the Landsmeet. They have two rascally twin sons, Gareth and Bryan.

˚∘⊰⋆ thoughts on companions ⋆⊱∘˚

romance: Dorian

auntie/uncle: Dorian, Vivienne, Varric

trusts with children: Josephine, Cassandra, Sera, Cullen

needs supervision: Leliana, the Iron Bull, Morrigan, Cole

do not leave children with under any circumstance: Blackwall, Solas

˚∘⊰⋆ outside the inquisition⋆⊱∘˚

Fergus: "He left me in charge after everything that happened. I don't blame him for never wanting to be in Highever again. However, he is a traitor by virtue of being a Mac Tir now. Bastard."

Nathaniel Howe: "Even if I know he isn't responsible for his father's actions, it still hurts. We grew up together. Does it not gnaw him from the inside to know his father killed most of my household? That my nephew's blood is on his hands?"

Alistair: "Maric's bastard? He's kept to Amaranthine. Apparently he's been working to get Amaranthine to a teyrnir. It already functions as one. He has my vote, at least."

Roderick Gilmore: "He kept me safe for so long growing up. I only hope he died quickly and reached the Maker's side swiftly."

Anora Mac Tir: "She never seems happy. But I think knowing her father isn't breathing down her neck has made things lighter. Besides, Fergus was Father's heir. She isn't working alone like she was under Cailan."

Loghain Mac Tir: "I bear him no ill will. I believe he did what was best for Ferelden. I think in the end he was mad and the Warden was right to strike him down. But he did save Ferelden from being Orlesian. He fought for our way of life. Father would not have spoken so highly of him otherwise."

˚∘⊰⋆ related works ⋆⊱∘˚

The Dadquisition - A series of oneshots and longer works detailing Baz's time as Inquisitor.

[enlichened]

3,7,8,13,21, and 26 for the dragon age questions :-)

(sorry if this is too many for one ask you dont have to answer all of them)

YAY you dont have to be sorry! i love talking about all my guys.....

but i WILL limit myself to surana/hawke/samahl unless someone else has a compelling answer so this post isnt 6 hours long (all mages... all at least adjacently men... sad)

3. Opinion on blood magic

surana finds blood magic intriguing but distasteful for himself. he didn't mind jowan being a blood mage after he got over the initial shock (rarely is what the templar said true) but hes wary. both because of the history he's heard and also for himself specifically (he doesn't trust himself with the power to hurt himself or others). (battlemage/arcane warrior)

hawke had never met a blood mage before merrill (that he knew of, malcolm having used blood magic before) and after merrill never met a blood mage he liked. unfortunately i think merrill reads as an exception to him rather than the rules being faulty themselves. while he doesnt mind merrill taking some of his own blood/power, he finds it hard to reckon with the issues of hurt/consent otherwise. he prefers magic that's very. overt and representative. theres no underlying tricks, just raw power. plus after what happens to his mother, he REALLY ends up with a kneejerk negative reaction to anyone but merrill using it. (lightning/force mage).

Samahl is wary of anything that templars use or focus on (blood magic being some of both). He has a weak stomach AND he doesn't trust the majority of blood mages (that he's met or heard of), so he would never want to use it himself. he would be okay with mages using it ethically as long as they kept it away from him. also despite being a dorianmancer the weak stomach applies to necromancy too <3 sorry dorian. (rift mage)

otherwise, positive to negative: amell (blood mage), cousland (reaver. also bloodfreak), 2nd hawke (also reaver. also merrillmancer), mahariel (merrill stan/romancer), aeducan, tabris, brosca, and kadan adaar (despite romancing a reaver (bull)).

The rest of these are going under a readmore... bc i am verbose..

7. if they had to choose one person most important to them, who would that be?

in the interest of being interesting about these i will pick one other person Besides their romantic partner. bc they are all very in love.

surana (romanced zevran): alistair. besties for the resties.

hawke (romanced fenris): varric and carver duel for this honor in his head every day. the rankings can shift depending on the moment (reread a bit in the tale of the champion where varric besmirched him. remembered carver being a cheeky bastard. etc). fenris understands being outranked by sibling concern or varrichawke bromance (never lasts long). EDIT: ALSO MY FRIENDS INQUISITOR MYRNA. he loves her very very much forever. fenris understands this less but hes shrugging

samahl (romanced dorian, as mentioned): its solas unfortunately. its solas. like 3 of his whole songs on his playlist are about solas. its the friend/trusted advisor/mentor thing. and then solas doesnt even think of him as a real person (or at least tries not to). its crushing. he didn't even care about the arm.

8. Who do they hate the most, and do they have an arch-nemesis?

surana cant find it in himself to HATE loghain, but he puts up an effort for alistair. boring answer but he mostly hates Systems rather than individuals - the moment he gains personal knowledge of someone and their motivations he can't Wholly hate them anymore. even taliesin who he was VERY ready to hurt before he could hurt zevran, he heard him and knew that he couldn't hate him. how could he hate anyone else who loved zevran. who WAS zevran even a little. he even feels bad for killing arl howe after nathaniel shows up (not enough to regret it, but still)

hawke - meredith. danarius. cullen. the lack of wind on a hot day. as a joke he'll be nemeses with anyone but for REAL its people with power who abuse it, and cullen because of that and also personal vendetta. cullen broke his nose AGAIN.

samahl doesn't hate anybody (too tired) while also hating everybody who's convenient. blames cullen in the universe in which his clan dies (not real to me). blames corypheus blames samson blames cassandra blames solas. unfortunately what this all means is that he hates and blames himself. he cant even be mad at solas in the end. he couldnt even be mad at corypheus or the nightmare or alexius. but hes very normal about it i promise.

notable mention to mahariel who hates duncan the most (but is nice in front of alistair, who is grieving).

13. their thoughts on the Grey Warden order?

surana is. fine with them. he wouldnt have chosen to be a grey warden and he doesnt particularly like doing it, but he doesnt begrudge them for needing help during a blight - especially after duncan and all those with him died during ostagar. after the blight its.. something to do. and he might as well make it worth it that he's SO blighted - that he'll die sooner rather than later - so that nobody else has to.

Hawke thinks theyre overrated - he's killed a LOT of darkspawn thank youuuuu and they also failed to keep corypheus down (not that he did any better). hes very bitter at the wardens for keeping their secrets about the calling and ALSO bitter that carver seems to be enjoying life more in their ranks than anytime with him. or at least that he doesnt hear about it when he isn't. scared for his dumb baby brother all the time and he doesnt even call.

samahl respects what they do and what theyve done, but doesnt care to think of them as infallible. because they arent! hes a little irritated when blackwall goes on but that becomes mostly amusement once he finds out about blackwalls whole thing. he does NOT like what the weisshaupt wardens did, but that doesn't mean the whole organization is busted - just that there shouldn't be room for ALL of these types of things to happen (corypheus, weisshaupt, hawke.). he actually really loves the history though, and didn't mind hearing blackwall talk about it when it was history rather than just flattering. (would have a hero thing about surana WAY more than he did hawke. sorry hawke).

EDIT: that was not the weisshaupt wardens that was the uhhh. whoever the here lies the abyss ones were. you know.

21. what is their biggest regret?

surana doesnt WISH he'd never been a grey warden - someone had to defeat the archdemon - but he does regret that he'll have to leave zevran behind one day. i imagine theyre looking for a cure, but not hard. theyve discussed this at length. (i wrote a little thing once of surana informing zevran about the whole calling thing, but its VERY old now).

hawke. his whole family. kirkwall. is everything youve ever done a regret?. he regrets the fact that anders didnt come to him and let him say how fucking stupid the bombing was before he did it. he would have helped him with ANYTHING else. he regrets what happened to his sister, his mother, to carver even if he is still alive. to his father, at the very beginning. letting carver go to ostagar alone. not saying anything good enough to have his friends believe in him enough to trust him. merrill's clan hating her in part because of him. not being enough for anyone to stay for, after the fact. holding fenris there (false) when he was the exception. letting varric write that fucking book about him. not going when varric first told him they were looking for him, and going when it meant he would die. not being able to sit still without a sword to throw himself on.

samahl. solas again. dorian leaving too, but thats him being so strong and supporting his lover from afar. but not being enough for solas to reconsider what he was doing? LOGICALLY he knows it wasnt about him but who gives a shit what logic says.

26. Do they get a happy ending?

Surana. happy-ish? defeated TWO world disasters i think he deserves to be zevrans trophy wife dealing with His stuff for a little while. he's going to die from blight any day now probably irt da4 but hes in love and still talks to his friends if he can. he makes sigrun stay closeby so he can remind her not to die before him. she lets him <33.

HAWKE lives in purgatory right now. both because there are two different timelines (the one i played vs the one i wrote with my friend + her inquisitor). in the first hes alive and safe from the fade. deeply depressed but living with fenris and dog and letters from his People and killing slavers. what more could a guy ask for at the end of the day. in the OTHER timeline he gets left in the fade. BUTTTT i imagine his friends band together to get him out. because i love. reforming the team. and also he needs to deal with that deep depression by living through more struggles. his favorite. fenris might kill him when theyre all done saving him though.

samahl.... we'll see wont we. hes fine with no arm hes.. less fine with dorian not being there. but hes got his friends even if he's disbanded the inquisition. he gets to go back to his clan and cry into the keepers arms for a minute. he gets to help teach the kids how to control their magic, even if his has suffered from . probably no longer being a rift mage? he gets to LIVE and not be under 2390248 stresses every day. until datv. but whateverrr hes chillin rn. sneaking into dorians house every now and then and helping his clan and helping the red jennies (SERA..) and giving leliana (divine in his timeline) advice he is NOT qualified to give. helping cassandra undo tranquility. its a life and its to be had.

shoutout to mahariel for either dying or becoming a father (accident and not even his) or being in a strange relationship with merrill and/or tamlen and/or tamlens ghost. shoutout to tabris for having gay sex on the daily with the new divine. shoutout to brosca for the horrors of motherhood to a god souled son. she followed morrigan and never regretted it but went. god. hes a little weird isnt he (full of love). shoutout to cousland for their WEIRD fucking thing with both anora (queen) and nathaniel (queen). shoutout to hawke 2 for being 1 ingredient in a very isabela and merrill sandwich for the rest of forever and not even coming when the inquisition called.

[annoyed-galaxy]

Fictober 2024 ~ 10

"is this normal?"

Fanfiction - DAO:A I've been thinking a lot about Awakening Anders and how he and my Warden would have been really close friends as both of them are mages from the Circle of Fereldan. Despite being the Hero of Fereldan, Feril's mage status appears to be erased in most of the tales about her and some people still hate her because she's a mage. So I feel like the two of them would bond a lot on mage freedom and all that. So I just wanted to write something about the first interactions Feril and Anders might have had when he was recruited. I like to headcanon that she taught him what she knows as a spirit healer since that was her other specialization in the game. Can also be found on Ao3

Being a Grey Warden was freeing in its own way. He no longer had to worry about the templars and he was free to use his magic whenever. The only thing he didn’t like was the Deep Road part of it all. 

Anders traveled in the middle of their group, looking at the impressive dwarven architecture all around them. He had to admit, the dwarves were pretty talented, being able to do all this without magic. 

Leading the group was Warden-Commander Feril Surana, the legendary Hero of Fereldan and former Circle mage. She inspired Anders so much. She was a legend and she was a mage. Although Feril claimed to not like using her magic, she always did in combat, using magic to make her stronger and faster. Not to mention how powerful her healing was. 

Feril was both arcane warrior and spirit healer and her skills were mythical. Watching Feril fight in battle had truly been an amazing experience. It was no wonder how she was able to defeat the Archdemon and stop the Fifth Blight. He was honored to serve under her. Not to mention she did literally save him from the templars by Conscripting him. It might have also helped that she and the King of Fereldan, Alistair Theirin, were a couple, so of course King Alistair allowed her free reign to conscript whoever she wanted. 

That had been almost two weeks ago when Anders had taken his Joining. A green Grey Warden and now he was experiencing all that being a Warden had to offer. 

By his sides were Nathaniel Howe, the son of a disgraced arl that Feril had killed during the reign of Loghain, and Oghren, drunken dwarf who had traveled with Feril before. It was an odd merry band of people who followed the tiniest elf Anders had ever seen, but Anders enjoyed it. It was nice to be able to walk freely without worrying the templars were going to find him any second. Being a Grey Warden meant immunity and Maker, did he love it. 

Suddenly, Feril raised a hand, motioning for them to stop as her pointed ears flicked about. That’s when Anders felt it in his bones: a chilling whisper that traveled up his spine. He shuddered. 

“What was that?” Nathaniel asked, also shuddering. 

“Darkspawn,” Feril replied, her accent heavy and thick on the word. 

Anders felt something poking his mind and he gave in to it. He could feel…things nearby. It was like he was part of them, knowing their location and how many. Was this why they had to drink darkspawn blood? To be able to know where the creatures were? 

“Well let’s get to kicking some ass!” Oghren roared, taking out his war axe. 

Feril shook her head. “There’s too many for the four of us we—“ A loud roar cut Feril off and a moment later came the crashing sound of a wall collapsing. Or rather, the wall was busted as an ogre charged through it. Anders’s blood went cold as he saw the mighty beast. He fumbled with his staff and gulped hard. 

“Maker’s breath! What is that thing?!” Nathaniel cried out. 

Oghren let out a maniac laugh. “An ogre!” Then the dwarf started charging towards the large beast. 

“Oghren, wait you bastard!” Feril called out, but the dwarf ignored her. She groaned and unsheathed her sword and dagger. She looked back at Nathaniel. “Give us some support,” she pointed to the ogre. She looked towards Anders. “You, focus on the little ones.” She pointed towards the hurlocks and genlocks that were now flooding in after the ogre and into the corridor. “Use big group spells and wipe them out.” 

Nathaniel and Anders nodded, thankful to be ranged so that they could stay behind. Feril crossed her blades together and whispered an incantation and slashed them across one another, igniting the blades with flame. Then she put a hand on her chest and a dim corona formed around her. She sped off into the fray with inhuman speed. 

Anders and Nathaniel followed their orders, firing arrows and flinging fireballs into the growing horde of darkspawn. Anders felt another piercing chill down his spine as he sensed a darkspawn getting closer to him and Nathaniel. It was on the other side of the wall. 

“Look out!” he warned Nathaniel, just as soon as the wall exploded with another ogre charging through. Nathaniel jumped out of the way, dodging the falling debris barely. Anders, unfortunately, was not so swift. A large piece of rock collided into his chest knocking him down.

His vision blurred and he saw the ogre roar, spit flinging off of its teeth. Then it looked down at him with beady eyes filled with nothing but hate and rage. Anders tried to scramble to his feet, but the dull pain in his chest was too much. He cried out as the ogre’s meaty hand wrapped around him and pulled him. 

“Anders!” Nathaniel screamed, spinning around and launching some arrows into the ogre. The beast seemed unfazed and began to squeeze. Panic soared throughout Anders’s body and he tried kicking and punching the hand slowly squeezing him to death. Tears filled his eyes. Was this really how his short life of freedom was going to end?

He felt his bones begin to snap and he screamed an ear piercing scream that echoed off the walls of the Deep Roads. 

This was the end.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Feril felt the singe of her magic light up inside her as she hastened herself, throwing herself into the gray. Her flaming blades showered embers across the battlefield as she cut through the darkspawn on her way to Oghren and the battling ogre. The dwarf was handling his own quite well, hacking at the ogre’s heels, but Oghren was too confident. Ogres could sometimes be unpredictable. Feril knew this well. They were large and cumbersome, but they could also be quick and sneaky when you least expected it. 

There blood and gore all over her as she carved her path. Her magic barrier surrounding her dulled any small cuts and scrapes that managed to land on her. Arrows bounced off the magical ward. And even for the weapons that managed to make it through, they were stopped by her armor and the owner of said weapon quickly decapitated. 

She finally made it to the ogre, not hesitating for a moment. She ran and willed the air around her to gather. Oghren let out another battle roar upon her approach and braced himself for this. They had done this multiple times before, a very useful tactic. Feril jumped, landing with one foot on Oghren’s shoulder and then pushing with both her leg and magic into the air. Oghren also shrugged his shoulder up, giving her an extra boost. 

She flew across the air, wind soaring through her hair until she landed on the ogre’s back. She caught herself with her sword embedded in its flesh. It roared and tried to swat her off, but she was too small for its arms to reach back and grab her. She willed fire into her blade, burning the ogre’s flesh before pulling it out and using the force to launch herself up. Despite wearing heavy armor, Feril’s magic allowed the bulky set to not weigh anything one her allowing her to move nimbly like any other elven rogue would. 

She had the might of a warrior, agility of a rogue, and the magic of mages. 

She was an unstoppable force, worthy of her title as the Hero of Fereldan. 

She swung her blade around the ogre’s neck and with her own roar, forced the blade deep into its throat. Her eyes lit with flame as she willed another burst of fire into her blade, making it burn and burn until the fire escaped the ogre’s eyes and mouth, searing its insides and causing it to fall. Feril pulled her blade out and backflipped off the ogre’s face and landed gracefully on the ground just as the great beast fell back with a loud thud! 

She swung back around and dealt with the remaining darkspawn. Her blood ran cold when she heard another loud crash and looked up to see that another ogre had crashed into the corridor behind them. She heard the faint scream of Nathaniel saying something, but then she saw the ogre reach down and grab someone. 

The scream that spilled from Anders’s mouth pierced Feril’s ears as she watched the ogre squeeze him. 

King Cailan’s body flashed in her eyes, the royal majesty snapped in half by an ogre during the battle at Ostagar. 

Fury filled her and the wind around her picked up. She ignored the rest of the darkspawn, knowing Oghren could handle these grunts, as she flew past them all, riding the speed of the wind she commanded. In a flash, Feril used her magic to burst her once more and then angled her blades. She spun like a saw and sliced through the ogre’s hand that had grabbed Anders. The mage and severed hand fell to the ground and neither moved. 

Feril went blind with fury, snarling at the ogre as she launched herself at its face. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Anders’s eyes fluttered open and suddenly his body was bursting with pain. However, the pain was slowly receding as a coolness filled his insides. He was resting against someone’s legs and as his vision slowly recovered, the white blur that he saw in front of him cleared into the whitening hair of Feril. 

Her face was covered with blood, but her elven eyes were so soft and calm. There was a gentle blue hue cast on her face from the spell she was casting that shone in her eyes. She was so beautiful his heart ached. 

Then he saw where her hands were and noticed they were on his chest and the source of the coolness in his body was coming from there. He could feel his insides shifting, bone snapping back together, internal bleeding sealed up. Even the soreness around his sides and front and back started to ease away with the soothing cold. 

“Is this…normal?” he managed to wheeze out, his voice barely audible. 

Feril looked up at him and smiled the most gorgeous smile he had ever seen. “For Grey Wardens? Yeah.” Her ears flicked up to emphasize her smile. 

He allowed his head to fall back and then realized the person who’s lap he was laying against. 

“Is he going to be okay?” Nathaniel asked, holding Anders’s head up a little. 

Feril nodded. “If it were anyone else but me healing him, then no. I’ve had a lot of practice healing in my journeys and I’ve seen worse than this.” 

Anders let out a laugh, but it sounded like a simple release of air. “I didn’t know you were so powerful with healing.” 

Feril shrugged. “I don’t use that much magic when fighting, preferring to use it to compliment my swordplay. So I have lots of reserves left for stuff like this. Or even during battle. Since you went through a severe injury, it had to wait until after the fight.” 

Anders looked around and saw all the corpses lying on the ground. “Did we win?”

“No, we actually lost and are in the afterlife,” Feril snarked, but with a humorous glint to her eyes. She finished her healing and pulled her hands away, the blue glow on her face dissipating. “You guys did well for newbies,” she said to Nathaniel and Anders as she stood up. She offered her hand and Anders took it. Her hand was still cold from the soothing healing spell she had cast. 

Nathaniel stood up behind Anders and smiled. “Other than the giant ogre almost killing Anders, I think I agree with that statement!” 

Anders smiled down at Feril. “Thank you for saving my life,” he said giving a slight bow of his head. 

Feril waved it off. “What kind of Commander would I be if I let my companions die on my watch? Besides, you’re a friend Anders. We mages gotta look out for each other,” she said as she nudged his arm. She turned to the rest of the group, clapping her hands. “Alright, let’s head out of here. Time to eat some grub and get some nice sleep.” 

The men nodded and followed the elf. Oghren stumbled behind, the fury of battle slowly fading away and his drunken stupor returning. 

Maybe being a Grey Warden wasn’t so bad after all. At least not with Feril Surana leading. 

[fademirrored]

beta timeline world state

Note: I’ve listed how they got along with the companions purely to give an idea of what they’re like. I won’t force any relationships on you.

DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS

Hero:

Darrick Tabris

Alive and well

Rogue; ranger, duelist, shadow

Companions:

Recruited Dog (named him Clegane)

Persuaded Revered Mother to free Sten

All companions recruited

All companion quests finished

All companions alive and well

Acquired the Grimoire peacefully

Loghain executed by Warden

Warden made a baby with Morrigan

Alistair became king, married to Anora

(Note: I romanced Zevran and was totally BFFs with Alistair, but I won’t force that on you)

Broken Circle:

Mages supported

First Enchanter Irving survived

The Urn of Sacred Ashes:

Not poisoned

The Arl of Redcliffe:

Helped Redcliffe fight

Helped Redcliffe prepare

Freed Bevin, took sword

Helped Owen’s daughter escape

Connor alive, not possessed

Asked Circle for help, Isolde is alive

Nature of the Beast:

Brokered peace

Decided ‘I don’t have time for this’ with Cammen and Gheyna

Saved the halla

Told Athras about his wife

Brought back ironbark

Paragon of Her Kind:

Defeated Branka

Harrowmont rules Orzammar

Dagna left to study

Mercy killed Ruck, told Filda he was a hero

Helped Zerlinda reconcile with family

Helped Orta join Assembly

Denerim:

Told Bann Sighard about Oswyn, got his support

Gave Alfstanna Irminric’s ring, got her support

Brought scroll to Sister Justine

Cleared out the Pearl

Returned amulet to beggar

Helped Alistair find Goldanna

Killed Marjolaine

The Landsmeet:

Said that Loghain could be a Warden; poisoned the Joining Chalice while Riordan wasn’t looking

Alistair and Anora rule together

The Battle of Denerim:

Darrick killed the Archdemon

Awakening:

Allowed the Architect to live

Keep and Amaranthine protected; Keep fully fortified

Nathaniel alive and well (recruited the second time around)

Gave Nathaniel the Howe Bow

Looked for Anders’s phylactery

Oghren and Felsi reunited

Witch Hunt:

Didn’t go through the eluvian with Morrigan

Warden’s Keep:

Said ‘no’ to all suspicious concoctions

Slayed Sophia and allowed Avernus to conduct ethical research

Stone Prisoner:

Matthias and Amalia alive, unpossessed

DRAGON AGE II

Hero:

Rigel Hawke

65 % purple, 32 % blue/green, 3 % red (roughly)

Rogue; shadow

Companions:

Carver died fleeing Lothering

Bethany became a Grey Warden

Bethany survived final battle

Friends with Varric

Bartrand still alive

Helped Varric discover cause of haunting

Varric did not keep the red lyrium idol

Recruited Isabela

Isabela did not return

Didn’t give Isabela to Arishok

Fenris alive and well

Merrill stayed loyal

Merrill did not destroy eluvian

Clan was not killed

Merrill is alive and well

Didn’t APPROVE of Anders’s explosion, but didn’t kill him or make him leave

Aveline married Donnic

Aveline stayed loyal

Recruited Sebastian

(Note: Romanced Fenris and was BFFs with Varric, Aveline, and Anders, but I won’t force that on you)

Prologue:

Joined smugglers

Act 1:

Turned mages over to templars

Fenris killed Kelder

Brought Saemus back home

Ginnis died

Killed Danzig

Didn’t blackmail Thrask

Idunna killed

Solved mystery of missing miners

Sent Feynriel to the Dalish

Recommended Keran not be a templar

Defended Ketojan from the Qunari

Didn’t kill Karras

Act 2:

Javaris alive and well

Discovered looter of Hubert’s caravans

Killed Gascard

Feynriel freed and left for Tevinter

Didn’t side with Petrice

Didn’t side with Varnell against Qunari

Killed Arishok

Act 3:

Rescued Nathaniel

Killed dragon at Bone Pit (bastard had my armor)

Allowed Emile to go free

Offered to help Nuncio

Let Zevran go

Reunited Charade and Gamlen

Handed conspirators to Orsino

Gave Keran to the templars

Sided with mages

Legacy:

Sided with Larius

Found Malcolm’s will

DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION

Companions:

-Dorian didn’t reconcile with father -Friends with Dorian -Dorian stayed with Inquisition -Iron Bull recruited -Iron Bull saved Chargers -Iron Bull is Tal-Vashoth -Blackwall recruited -Blackwall left prison as Grey Warden -Friends with Blackwall -Cassandra discovered book of secrets -Cassandra rebuilt Seekers -Friends with Cassandra -Cole recruited and stayed -Cole more like a spirit -Friends with Cole -Sera recruited and stayed -Sera killed Harmond at Inquisitor’s urging -Friends with Sera -Solas freed his friend -Friends with Solas -Varric tracked the red lyrium source -Friends with Varric -Vivienne recruited -Gave Vivienne a Snowy Wyvern heart -Friends with Vivienne

Exploring Thedas:

Did not reach the inner sanctum

Helped refugees

Gained cultists’ allegiance

Investigated the dwarven ruins

Rescued troops from the Avvar

Fairbanks not revealed as noble

Fairbanks defeated the Freeman

Captured Caer Bronach

Closed the lake’s rift

Claimed Griffon Wing Keep

Imshael killed

Captured Suledin Keep

Operations:

Inquisition forces deployed regularly

Sutherland’s company was formed

Jecin and Celeste never met

Inquisitor contacted Charade

Advisors:

Calpernia was the Inquisitor’s nemesis

Told Cullen not to use lyrium

Did favors for Du Paraquettes

Leliana inspired

Investigated Calpernia’s past

Talked with Calpernia

The Wrath of Heaven:

Inquisitor does not accept being chosen by Andraste

Champions of the Just:

Went to Therinfal Redoubt, templars allied

Ser Barris is alive

In Your Heart Shall Burn:

Inquisition is declared for order

Here Lies the Abyss:

Grey Wardens rebuilt

Stroud and Loghain sacrificed rather than Hawke, but Hawke sacrificed rather than Alistair. Just to cover all the bases.

Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts:

Gaspard rules as Briala’s puppet

Grand Duchess Florianne killed (“I also judge the box! End table for orphans!”)

Empress Celene died

What Pride Had Wrought:

Disrespected temple traditions, accidentally made enemies of the guardians

Morrigan drank from the Well of Sorrows

Doom Upon All the World:

Supported Leliana as Divine

Judgments At Skyhold:

Equal parts merciful and recruiting judging

The Descent:

Saved mines, stopped earthquakes

Decided he’d be happy never going to the Deep Roads again

Trespasser:

Bull remained loyal

Disbanded the Inquisition

Attempt to redeem Solas

[vigilskeep]

Ah, yes. Bring Nathaniel Howe, the guy that fandom often jokes is Loghain's rebound from Maric and/or Rowan one night stand bastard child to the Guerrin family dinner. That'll go swimmingly. Absolutely no long term salt about that still swimming around in Rowan's brothers' veins.

to be fair i think if the guerrin boys got over the existence of alistair, the son of the guy who was actually MARRIED to their sister, which honestly is a situation you’d think they’d be more mad about, then in a version of events where nathaniel is really loghain’s son they don’t have much of a leg to stand on here. do they even know about loghain and rowan because that’s a really funny backstory to eamon and loghain’s antagonism

[tabriscadash]

I was asked this on my old blog right as I set about transitioning to this one, so...

The first character I ever fell in love with: for DA:O, dare I say Daveth? What can I say -- I irrationally got incredibly attached to him. otherwise, DEFINITELY Morrigan, and I have crystal clear memories of my first run through Lothering and looking at Morrigan like 😍 the whole time. For DA:2/E, Carver -- unless you count Anders & Justice since I knew of them from Awakening beforehand, in which case probably Justice. For DA:I, it’s a toss-up between Vivienne or Cole -- I technically liked Cole first but SPECIFICALLY in the supporting material (Asunder), and didn’t vibe with him anywhere near as much in the game, AND I got him as a companion after I got Vivienne, so probably Vivienne.

A character that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I guess Oghren? I never loved him, but I liked the idea of him because I really liked the dwarves/Orzammar side of DA’s worldbuilding -- but he’s such an unlikeable character that I just.. don’t vibe with him at all. I debate recruiting him every single time now, and I don’t think I ever do his personal quest (in the base game OR Awakening). for DA:2/E, I don’t really have anyone that fits -- but I REALLY wanted to like Merrill and Aveline more than I did, and especially in Aveline’s case, I can’t stand her and genuinely think she’s the unintended, secret Big Bad of the whole game. for DA:I, probably Cole, bc I was really into the idea of a little walking-corpse serial killer animated by a spirit as per the book, but that’s not really the vibe in DA:I, and combined with the somewhat patronising/ableist language and how significantly he is infantilised (including by the fandom) I just got put off him. I do still like him, but not as much.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I don’t really have one? I guess see my DA:I answer, lol... for DA:2/E, has to be Anders - I don’t think he’s OOC in 2, but I think his writing does so little with him and he feels v. reductive. Where his relationship could be SO interesting and angsty, it instead is written in a really dull and/or cringey way. It would have been nice to see Anders more like the Anders of Awakening near the beginning of the game (rather than random, infrequent and questionably rare snippets), and then see the progression of his relationship with Justice as the game went on -- I want more interesting abominations, PLEASE. for DA:I, listen I cannot express to you HOW EXCITED I was for my planned Lavellan to romance Sera… also I used to be way more tolerant of Cullen x Amell/Surana ships because, like, hey dark ships are fun, right? But since Cullen’s ~wholesome whitewash~ in DA:I, and his fandom clamouring to absolve him of any wrongdoing ever.. it’s boring to me.

My ultimate favourite character™: for DA:O, probably Sten? or Morrigan. They’re both fantastic, and also are significant comfort chars for me. for DA:2/3, honestly, probably my own Hawke -- I feel so hugely proud of her, and can’t imagine I’d enjoy the game anywhere near as much had I not played it as my Hawke. If not her, maybe Sebastian or Carver? for DA:I, I really love Vivienne, as well as Blackwall, and Solas is a great character even if I probably would not say I liked him.

Prettiest character: for DA:O, we all know it’s Zevran. for DA:2/E, I think Aveline -- although her aggressively bland colour-scheme lets her down in a major way (although I respect her dedication to all orange all day every day). There’s just something about her arms -- very Abby from TLOU:2. for DA:I, maybe Josephine? Ser Barris is very pretty, too...

My most hated character: for DA:O, I really didn’t like Alistair, Wynne and Oghren, and of my companions - Oghren is probably my least favourite. He’s vulgar and also profoundly uninteresting. for DA:2/E, it has to be Aveline. There’s just something about ineptitude and a complete, wilful refusal to take accountability for your actions that I can’t stand. It would be okay if it was an intentional character flaw, but the game/narrative treats her like she’s lawful good and it really annoys me. for DA:I, maybe Iron Bull? He was a huge disappointment for me. I also really dislike Sera, Cassandra, and Varric. I’m so sick of Varric - I never want to see him again.

My OTP: for DA:O, I really loved Zevran’s romance -- but I am also very amused by the fact that Leliana got to ‘love’ status with Kallian accidentally, AND I got the ‘love’ glitch for Justice (👀) and Velanna. I do sometimes wonder about an AU where Kallian is forced to make a politically expedient marriage with Nathaniel Howe for diplomatic reasons in order to consolidate her position as Arlessa, and it being an entirely platonic arrangement (it’s not like anyone expects an heir from an infertile Grey Warden) -- and maybe Zev and Nate kiss sometimes, who knows? I also LOVE my Darkspawn Chronicles AU where Kallian and Nelaros are a happy, married couple each hiding their skills with weapons from each other like dumb, cute sweethearts. They shelter Zevran when he fails to kill Alistair and a poly couple evolves. for DA:2/E, I love the IDEA of a Seb romance that isn’t so strictly conditional around the structures that abused him -- he should be allowed to love, chastely or otherwise, but free from the Chantry OR his position as prince/heir. I’d LOVE to actually have a romance with him where you can actually challenge the abuse he’s experienced. for DA:I, Malika doesn’t have a canon romance (although I think when I replay, I’m going to romance Josephine!) but I think Blackwall has an amazing romance. Solas’ is also iconic, it must be said. 

My NOTP: for DA:O, I really dislike Alistair in a shipping capacity; he’s immature and says a lot of misogynistic shit and I don’t think he’s the worst for it, but I don’t really vibe with shipping him, having played the game as a female city elf. for DA:2/E, I wouldn’t say I have one, particularly? although I really dislike Aveline’s relationship with her husband simply because it seems incredibly inappropriate, given that they work together and she has power over him -- and because I dislike her, generally, I don’t feel inclined to do something nice for her. for DA:I, I suppose Sera/Lavellan -- although I’m not AGAINST it, it just really isn’t for me, having attempted it. I also don’t really vibe with Dorian x Iron Bull. Something abt the way the game handled BDSM and their relationship banter specifically I don’t really like.

Favourite episode quest: for DA:O, probs Orzammar/the Deep Roads. I really love the dwarven lore! and, of course, Fort Drakon is really funny, even though it’s not canon in my game iirc. for DA:2/E, maybe the murder mystery with the serial killer, where ultimately Leandra dies? I also really enjoyed all the companion quests. for DA:I, The Descent (just, all of it, lmao) and everything to do with the Avvar. Crestwood also BANGED.

Saddest death: for DA:O, it’s frankly a fucking INJUSTICE that Shianni gets murdered if you make her Bann of the Alienage -- the idea of that happening whilst Kallian is in Amaranthine and unable to protect her :( genuinely very upsetting. I go back and forth on who is made Bann, tbf, so idk how canonical it is: I think maybe Cyrion would get it, but I’m also endeared to Soris holding the position, with Shianni as Hahren. for DA:2/E, Bethany. I wish both twins had had the chance to reach Kirkwall :(. Let Leandra die instead. for DA:I, maybe not the saddest death, but the most memorable for me was that one sleeping dragon in the Hissing Wastes.. leave her alone. Stay out of a womans’ business.

Favourite season game: DA:O!

Least favourite season game: DA:I.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but I hate: for DA:O, Alistair. I cannot deal with his complacency and hypocrisy. for DA:2, I really disliked Merrill but I honestly cannot remember why. DEFINITELY Varric -- I hated how the game forces you to be his best friend, and if you’re low approval, you have to endure these pointless pissy little comments with this little anti-dwarf centrist pissant. After the expedition, I literally have no reason to put up with him, and I NEVER take him out. I hate that he plays the same role in DA:I, too. for DA:I, the Iron Bull was hugely disappointing, and I also really don’t vibe with Cassandra. She just seems very wishy-washy and complacent and hypocritical, and many of her comments about other cultures seem snide for literally no reason other than bigotry. 

My ‘you’re a piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: for DA:O, lbr probably Sten. Mans is gonna launch a HORRIFYING invasion in the next game iirc and frankly, I’m ok with it. Just wanna see that big bastard again ❤🥵. for DA:2/E, I LOVE Gamlen, ok? for DA:I, I am not sure if I have one.

My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: for DA:O, if any of you so much as LOOK at Velanna wrong, it’s hands. That includes Bioware. I also feel incredibly protective of and sad for Morrigan. for DA:2/E, probably Sebastian -- I feel so sad for him, and so frustrated by the limitations with the game. for DA:I, I’m honestly not sure.. maybe Josephine? I don’t really feel this way about Sera, but I do think she deserves better from the game and its writing, and also from fandom: there are valid criticisms of her, but the hate she gets is not proportional to any valid issues with her -- and gee, I wonder why that is.

My ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: for DA:O, I did use to find Cullen x Surana/Amell intriguing as a dark ship -- I actually hc that Neria Surana is actually Nelaros’ sister, and have dabbled with it as a dark ship. I also am interested in Loghain/Alistair - which each pretends the other is someone else. Alistair is wooby, hate ships are, in general, fun -- so long as we acknowledge that they are, indeed, unhealthy ships. for DA:2/E, I kind of feel like Sebastian romances are, invariably, kind of dark... and, similarly, Anders romances -- especially with certain red Hawkes, The way it ends is, invariably, bordering on fucked up. ALSO Hawkecest is weird and wonderful: GET WITH IT. 

My ‘they’re kind of cute, and I lowkey ship them, but I’m not too invested’ ship: for DA:O, I joked about Velanna x Leliana once and I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it ever since… Velanna x Sigrun is also something that can be so personal. Ariane x Finn is adorable and are paid DUST by Bioware AND fandom. I actually am really into Anora x Nathaniel & NO I will NOT explain myself; it’s a crackship but it’s MY crackship. for DA:2/E, Isabela x Fenris is super cute, but I don’t pay enough attention to them to really have super committed thoughts & feelings on them. for DA:I, Blackwall x Josephine is cute as a background ship; I also think Maryden x Cole is sweet.

[fandomn00blr]

Warden Hawke?????👀 (from WIP name meme)

Thanks for the ask! This is one of my newest WIPs, and I actually have the first chapter (of IDK how many...) posted on AO3! It started as more of an excuse to keep writing Wardens being weirdly soft and Warden-ey (and because I like Carver as a Warden and always miss him dearly when I play DA2!), but it has begun to turn into a bit of a Nathaniel/Carver fic because Wardens, amirite?

Here’s a bit from the next chapter that I’m working on...

Nate comes trotting back to them through the darkness. “The tunnel ends up ahead. We’ll have to go around some other way.”

“What do you mean it ends?” Loghain hisses.

“Recent cave-in?” Nate shrugs with a smirk. “I don’t know. You’re the Warden-Surveyor.”

Loghain scowls at Nate and Stroud is left stroking his mustache between them.

“The only way around is to go further down…” he murmurs. “Under, then back up through Kal’Hirol...and let’s hope those tunnels are still intact.”

“But the kid…”

“I know.”

Nate glances back at Carver, who has heard every word, but only really understands that they’ve reached a dead end and will need to go deeper again. Which probably means more Darkspawn. But why that should be a particular threat to him is unclear. Unless they think he’s incapable of fighting. Quite the contrary, in fact, the walk has been invigorating, and he’s feeling like he could take on an entire army of the ugly bastards.

Nate raises an eyebrow at him and Loghain grumbles something about, “It begins…” and Stroud just continues stroking his mustache.

“I just don’t see any other way…” he mutters. “We’ll just have to try to avoid any big clusters...or Broodmothers.”

“Yes, please,” Nate groans. And Carver suddenly gets a weird shuddering chill.

[clowns-of-thedas]

Dragon Age characters as weird things my friend and I said: Part 1

The Warden: I am officially the CEO of presents.

Alistair: Cursing is outdated, fucking roll over ‘em with a block of melting cheese and stick them to the ground.

Zevran: Double wielding blades? Take this you filthy Christians.

Morrigan: Damned shall be the boys that send unasked dickpics.

Leliana: *watching a girl struggling to use a defect microwave* This bitch really is allowed to be this stupid, like legally?

Wynne: Tell me, are you okay? You seem to show symptoms of depression and a severe hangover.

Sten: Let them eat chalk before they can talk.

Oghren: If I got a demon under my bed it sure as hell is one slim bitch.

Shale: I didn’t know how to crack an egg until you showed me last month.

Loghain: Stop showing me the flaw of my own ability to remember the things I hate.

Anora: What value do we Europeans even have besides being artistic and depressed? *dramatic pause* Alcohol.

Duncan: I can’t even fathom to describe on how many levels this is failing.

Cailan: Clapping enemies with them cheeks.

Velanna: *inspecting the picture of a seal* It has the required bastard vibe.

Sigrun: The migraine be hitting me at 1 am after I wanted to get the good night night water.

Justice: They all be looking like they had the worst day since they were born.

Nathaniel: Professionals would also call that daddy issues.

Irwing: It actually just dawns on me how crazy this whole situation really is… I have not witnessed something like that in my entire life. *continues pretending to be shocked*

Maric: Backstreet wench at it again!

Fiona: Get your gear and exorcism kit ready, we’re going on a crusade.

Jowan: I knew youd me confusion. Yes.

[braincoins]

“But Socks!” you, as the convenient strawperson, exclaim, “as much as I’d love to read your Dragon Age stuff, I’ve never played Origins and/or Awakening! I don’t really know anything about Grey Wardens or the events of those games!”

Well all you had to do was ask, Convenient Strawperson-chan! ^_^ I know Grey Wardens play some small part in DA:I, which seems to be the game most people have played, but I’ll just start from the beginning. I’ll also be including personal headcanons that come up in Dragon Age: Schism, though I will mark them as such.

Under a cut for the sake of people’s dashes. Consider this a first post in a series. (I’ll answer questions that non-strawpeople want to ask, too!)

So, really now, what is a Grey Warden? Well, that depends on who you ask. To most people outside the order, the Grey Wardens are a glorious order of noble heroes! And why is that? Well, they’re immune to the darkspawn taint (which usually kills people) and so they can safely slay darkspawn! They’re also the only ones who can stop Blights!! ...though this last bit of information is often forgotten, given that Blights happen once every few centuries. 

If you ask me, the Grey Wardens are the biggest dick move in Thedas, which is actually part of why I love them. Here’s all the downsides to joining this “glorious order”: 

First of all, the Right of Conscription. Ferelden has it; not sure if other nations in Thedas do? Anyway, it means that Grey Wardens can recruit anyone at any time. In practice, they have to be careful how they wield this tool (especially in Ferelden), but the RoC has been used to save people from hangings or other deadly fates... on the condition that they become a Warden Recruit. So... didn’t want to be Warden Recruit? TOO BAD, YOU ARE NOW. And no, you don’t get a say in the RoC. 

Second of all, there’s the Joining. It turns out that, in order to become a Grey Warden, you have to drink darkspawn blood. And a bunch of other stuff in there, but really now, DRINKING DARKSPAWN BLOOD. You might recognize this as a stupidly dangerous thing to do, given that darkspawn blood KILLS THINGS. But your options are drink it or die, because the Grey Wardens present at the Joining will kill you if you try to back out after learning about this. If you drink from the Joining chalice, you also might die, but your name will be remembered as a Grey Warden at least? Even though you’re dead. And hey, if you live, you... become “immune” to the darkspawn taint, which is to say you’re already fucking tainted so it’s not like it can get worse. Want to know why the Grey Wardens don’t tell people they’re gonna make them drink darkspawn blood? Well, if they did that, people wouldn’t want to join, and we need Grey Wardens. 

Supposing you survive the Joining, there’s the shortened lifespan (10-30 years depending on your sources; my headcanon is just straight up 10-ish years) and the nightmares (that maybe you can learn to tune out). Again, they don’t tell you this until afterwards. Why? Because then people might not want to become Grey Wardens... yadda yadda.

Oh, and forget about having kids! It’s very difficult if not impossible to have children as a Grey Warden! 

At some point, even if you were able to tune the nightmares out, they’ll come back and there’ll be nothing you can do about it. That’s the first sign of The Calling. Because it turns out that the Joining is really just turning you into a ghoul, except very, very slowly. You’re getting close to Ghoul-dom now. Most Grey Wardens choose to die in battle against the darkspawn rather than waiting to be turned. It’s tradition. 

And if there’s a Blight going on? Oh, well, it turns out that the only way to kill an Archdemon is to sacrifice a Grey Warden. Why didn’t they tell you? DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK NOW?!

The motto of the Grey Wardens is “In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice.” 

So what I’m saying is that Grey Wardens are SUPER TRAGIC BADASSES. They also wind up pretty cut off from their former lives, so the Wardens become their family. So, basically, SUPER TRAGIC BADASS FOUND FAMILY. I really don’t see how I was not supposed to love them immediately. 

They still have this reputation of “glory” and all that, but so many of their recruits were thieves or ne’er-do-wells saved from the gallows by the RoC. If you look at just the Wardens we have at the end of Awakening (and this is my list, i.e., the Wardens we have in Dragon Age: Schism):

The Warden (aka the Player Character): the Hero of Ferelden, but may have come from questionable backgrounds, depending on the origin you picked. Duncan might even have had to RoC you. If nothing else, much of Ferelden believed Loghain’s lies that the Wardens were traitors and murderers of beloved King Cailan, and that’s a hard thing to come out from under. In the case of Kivral, she’s a Dalish elf, and elves are... not exactly much beloved, the Dalish even less so, as they’re often painted as “savages.” 

Alistair: King Cailan’s half-brother, thanks to their father, King Maric, getting a little something in on the side (”You’re not just a bastard, you’re a royal bastard?”). Kivral didn’t put him on the throne, but you can if you want in your game. In any case, despite being the most experienced Warden in the group (he Joined six months before the PC), he prefers to follow and let the PC lead. Also in love with Kivral (again: my choice; you can romance someone else in your game), who’s head over heels for him. His mere existence is a threat to the throne. 

Nathaniel Howe: Son of Arl Rendon Howe, who backed Loghain and was, in pretty much all ways, a motherfucking asshole. Nate shows up trying to steal shit from the keep Queen Anora granted the Wardens, even though he insists he wasn’t stealing because it’s his stuff. The seneschal at the time wants to hang him. Kivral decided he’d undergo the Joining instead. Along the way, Nate learns about his father’s actions, comes to accept that, yes, his father was a sonuvabitch, and even pays special attention to non-noble/non-human companions, learning about the privilege he’s had most of his life.

Anders: When you first meet Anders, he’s surrounded by dead Templars and dead darkspawn. He swears forwards and backwards that the darkspawn killed the Templars and then he killed the darkspawn. REALLY. Even though he had run away from the Circle and was being hauled back there by those same Templars. In fact, a Templar shows up and wants to drag him off, but you can call RoC and recruit him instead. And also give him a kitten. 

Velanna: Dalish mage exiled from her clan, even though she was the Keeper’s first - i.e., in line to be the next Keeper. She’s trying to find her sister, and that’s the only reason she signs on with you. HATES HUMANS. HAAAAAAAATES HUMANS. SO FUCKING MUCH. HATES THEM. Not exactly a “people person.” Like, at all.

Sigrun: Casteless dwarf who joined THE LEGION OF THE DEAD. In other words, a fucking badass already. But she’s also this adorable ray of sunshine? Like... her life sucked so she made the choice to consider herself already dead and then you can get her to join the Wardens who are basically Dead People Walking, just on the surface. 

Oghren: One of your companions from Origins. A drunken, lecherous pervert of a dwarf, but he also unlocks the Berserker specialization for warriors in DA:O. He basically just shows up near the beginning of Awakening and is like, “Hey, I had fun killing shit with you and I wanna do more of it.”

Justice: Not in Schism, but mentioned in the notes: Justice is literally the Spirit of Justice who has taken over the corpse of a Grey Warden named Kristoff. In regular Dragon Age canon, Justice eventually leaves Kristoff’s corpse and hitches a ride with Anders, whose anger at the Chantry and the general treatment of mages turns him into VENGEANCE. In Schism, Justice departs back to the spirit world.

But I give you this list for a reason: thieves, exiles, casteless, apostates. These are the Great and Glorious Grey Wardens we’re dealing with here. Even Duncan, Maker watch over him, was a rogue and a thief before he became a Grey Warden and eventually rose to Warden-Commander of Ferelden. 

In the time period of Dragon Age: Schism, the people of Ferelden are still recovering from the Blight, from the death of their king, from Loghain’s claims of Grey Warden treachery, etc. Many generations before, there was a Grey Warden rebellion against the then-king, Arland, for his tyrannical ways. The Wardens were slaughtered - either by the king’s troops or by the demons that the Warden mage Avernus summoned in desperation - and the Warden Order was cast out of Ferelden until King Maric assumed the throne and allowed them back in. He even reinstated their Right of Conscription (though, again, you can’t just RoC anyone and everyone all the time; that’s a good way to get it - and possibly the Order again - revoked real quick).

So the Wardens are on shaky ground in Ferelden, where our story is set and centered (just as in Origins/Awakening). There aren’t many of them (see list above because - again, aside from Justice - that’s literally all of them in the entire country) and people are still sort of side-eyeing them. They have Queen Anora’s support, but even that’s shaky, especially while Alistair - who could have taken the throne in her place - is still alive and kicking. The leader of the Wardens of Ferelden may also be the Hero of Ferelden, but, in the case of Schism-verse, is also a “knife-ear” (as the slur goes), and not Andrastian (she’s not Fantasy Christian, basically).  

[deedeemactir]

Yet another day when I see someone shipping Anora with Nathaniel & I immediately think WTF those are siblings — and then I remember once again that Nathaniel being Loghain’s bastard was never confirmed in canon

[ooachilliaoo]

WIP Titles: What are the Robin Hood AU and After Thessia - Kaidan POV about?

Thanks for the ask M’dear!

So ‘After Thessia – Kaidan POV’ I talked about here but have another little extract anyway:

*

He couldn’t rally the troops the way she could, couldn’t make them believe.

And he couldn’t ask her to do it either. He didn’t have the right, nobody did.

But maybe he could help her believe again, at least a little. Because there was something he could do, something that fell specifically within his area of expertise.

He settled into one of the sofa’s in the observation lounge and pulled up the data he’d collected on his omni-tool. It wasn’t much, he hadn’t really had the time or the opportunity to take precise readings But if he’s lucky, really really lucky, he might have captured something that would help him find a weakness in Kai-Leng’s shield and if he could it would prove, without him having to do something as clumsy as say it, that he believed she’d find Kai Leng – that he believed she’d win.

It would have to be enough.

*

The Robin Hood AU I am so glad you asked about. It’s honestly one of my favourite things to write at the moment because it’s just so much fun!

It’s an AU in which Alistair was raised as Maric’s recognised bastard and was given the Arling of Amaranthine to rule. Then there’s an Exalted March in Antiva so off go all 3 Theirin boys, leaving Loghain as regent. Then Alastiar is wounded, sent back to Ferelden where he basically...becomes Robin Hood. So we have Ali as Robin, Elissa Cousland as Marion, Loghain as Prince John, Howe as the Sheriff of Nottingham, Nathaniel Howe as Guy of Gisbourne.. and so on. 

It’s just a lot of fun to write and it makes for a slightly cheekier more carefree Alistair. Their relationship isn’t exactly enemies to lovers but more like...Childhood nemeses to lovers. 

Anyway, extract! 

*

“Are you honestly as foolish as you seem?” Elissa spat cornering him as soon as he returned to the hall. He blinked, so deep in his thoughts he hadn’t even seen her.

“Wha-“

“You think you can pick a fight with Loghain and get away with it? You think you can embarrass him in public and there won’t be consequences? You know, it may have escaped your notice Alistair but Maric isn’t here. He won’t be able to protect you this time!”

“I know very well where my father is.” He shot back suddenly angry. He wasn’t entirely sure why, only that of everyone he knew no-one, absolutely no-one could get under his skin like Elissa Cousland.

“Hmm.” Was all she said, her eyes flicking over him critically. “Well you should know your father has no power here anymore. He will barely have a kingdom by the time Loghain is done. If you want to help Maric keep your mouth shut, play the game and let those boys hang.”

It was a repeat of what she’d told him at Highever castle. He hadn’t listened then and he wasn’t about to now.

“I can’t let him hang innocent men.” he replied flatly.

“Maker Alistair it is a test.” She hissed “if you fail it there will be consequences.”

“Consequences eh?” he chuckled.

She huffed at him and made to leave, her piece apparently said, but he stopped her. 

“You know.” He began entirely unable to resist riling her up further. “I’ve always thought that you were the most beautiful woman at court. A rare rose amid the plainer flowers”

She snatched her arm away from his grasp quick as lightening.

“Tell me” she said “Does your prattling drivel work on any intelligent woman?”

He smirked, only because he knew it would anger her further.

“You’d be surprised.” He chuckled.

[shieldwife]

you know, tabris very much feels like the “canon” warden to me in some ways. maybe i’m biased because i have a huge soft spot for tabris and city elves in general, but here me out.

i just like the implications of an impoverished city elf, who grew up being treated as a second-class citizen, ends up saving her country and the entire world from certain doom. i could just be a sucker for zero-to-hero stories, but you gotta admit that the implications of that for thedas as a whole are huge.

tabris being a city elf means that a lot of parallels can be drawn between her and garahel in terms of how they both rose above their station to stop the blight and save a world that wouldn’t blink if they died otherwise. 

more than any of the other wardens, the endgame directly impacts tabris. pretty much every major plot point that happens after the warden arrives in denerim has personal implications for a city elf warden. 

like “break into the mansion you had to break out of in your origin to save another woman from another evil bastard, and also murder another human noble, who slaughtered your people in retaliation for the uprising you accidentally began” followed by “the regent who has been hunting you down and trying to kill you has somehow made it even more personal by selling your people into slavery, including your dad who is literally in a cage when you find him. also your cousin’s wife and your community’s elder have already been sold into slavery and there’s nothing you can do to save them”. and then “face the bastard who sold your people into slavery to line his own pockets at the landsmeet, and potentially best him in combat and then execute him for his crimes”. like, yeah cousland killing howe has the same amount of importance as tabris, but for tabris everything is like that in denerim.

also the loghain confrontation has so much more meaning if you hc adaia as a former night elf. 

also unrelated, but the fact that there isn’t more personal dialogue when you kill howe and those slavers with a tabris is a crime??? like HELLO one of those bastards slaughtered your people (which you can at least point out when you first arrive in denerim) and the other straight up offers to use your dad in a blood magic ritual and there’s no “that’s my FAMILY your talking about YOU MONSTER” option??? die. and also that you can’t tell nathaniel in awakening that howe sold your people into slavery... very bad.  

also it creates an interesting dynamic with your companions. like i won’t get into it, but there were so many good options for personal dialogue between tabris and the companions?? like ugh. i won’t rant about it here, but i will one day. bioware cheated us.

tabris is the only warden from denerim, and the only warden who has family there in canon. it isn’t just her country’s capital about to be burnt down by a horde of darkspawn, it’s her home. it’s where her entire family is, and she’s about be leading her closest friends there. there is a huge chance that everyone in the world tabris loves is gonna die in a single day, and even if she does kill the archdemon her family and friends might die first.

it’s the only origin where the alienage elves will argue that they should fight, not that they shouldn’t. it’s a small thing, but it’s there.

with tabris, the game ends where it begins: in denerim, fighting to protect the people you love.

once again just.... the implication of not one but two blights being defeated by city elves in a society where literally no one respects them and would not care about them dying in the blight is just *chefs kiss*.  

also DUNCAN SPECIFICALLY WENT TO THE ALIENAGE LOOKING FOR TABRIS. like you can also argue he was specifically after a cousland or aeducan (cousland is pretty obvious), but he has other recruits to find in both of those places! tabris is straight up the ONLY reason he is in denerim! he’s specifically looking for adaia tabris’s child! valendrian straight up moves forward the date of the wedding to avoid tabris getting recruited!

also he knew adaia. like?? how? i need to know.

also maybe i’m just seeing things here, but the implications of a family heirloom called the fang of fen’harel is inch resting imo.

yes, i am def just ranting to no one and none of this makes sense, but that’s ok lol. 

[allisondraste]

Writing Deliciously Evil Characters: A Meta Post

Recently in a discord conversation, I was discussing some feedback that I have gotten on my longfic, regarding my portrayal of the odious Rendon Howe.  Arl Howe is a classic, stereotypical “mwahaha” type of villain, which is not the standard in Dragon Age where the Wardens are Grey and the villains are Greyer, in that most of the bad folks aren’t doing bad things for the sake of doing bad things (e.g. Loghain, Meredith, Solas), but rather because they believe what they are doing is “right.”  Howe, on the other hand is a man who betrays his closest allies in the first of what would be a series of awful vies for power during the Fifth Blight that would eventually lead to his death and the destruction of his family.  He’s not the only character who does evil for pleasure/power/personal gain (think Livius Erimond, the Grand Duchess, Corypheus, Danarius blah blah blah).  However, the feedback was about Howe, so I’m going to reference him throughout this post.

Essentially, I have received a number of comments in which people have remarked something to the effect of “The way you write Howe makes me hate him even more.” I love this feedback because that was the plan all along and it’s the equivalent of someone saying “The way you write [insert widely beloved popular hero character here] makes me love them even more!”  I love love love villains, and as much as I am in the camp with everybody else wanting to stab the man in his slimy, weasley guts, I also love writing him.  In my personal opinion he is actually a very good villain, and I’ll go into why in a bit.

For those of you who haven’t encountered my meta posts before, I’m not a writer by trade.  I am a mental health professional, and my background is in psychology.  So when I make posts about “writing” some type of thing, I typically focus on the psychological components of why certain things work for characters, why others don’t, and how to make a character’s actions realistic and true to who they are as a person. That being said: I do speak about sensitive things in my posts, and this one is no different, so I will be putting the rest of this post behind a Read More.  If you are triggered by the mention of trauma and abuse, violence, and mental illness then I would caution you to take care of yourself if you choose continue on!

What is Evil?

If I were to ask you to give me the name of someone who is “evil,” I would bet money that the people everyone lists would be what society likes to coin “psychopaths” or “sociopaths,” and these are individuals who are callous, cruel, and lack consciences, anxiety, and empathy.  They are your serial killers and super villains.  Your unarguably bad, awful, evil people. They were always evil.  Born evil. Raised evil.  They eat, sleep, and breathe evil.  Concentrated evil flows through their veins. They probably also hate puppies and babies.  You all get the picture.

First of all, this is not only an inaccurate understanding of what standard human evil is, but it is also an inaccurate and romanticized view of psychopathy/sociopathy (the words are actually interchangeable, people just like to pretend they are different).  The media loves itself a juicy slice of psychopath.  It’s why we have movies about Ted Bundy and why Discovery ID is a thing. However something that is so incredibly important to note is that regardless of how an evil person presents, “evil” as a thing, a behavior.  It is  not a personality trait, but a societally motivated response. People are not evil; they do evil.  Someone  may be born with a diathesis, or predisposition to do evil things, and then be influenced by environmental factors to enact those evil things, but nobody in the world is born evil. Not. A. Single. Person. In fact, as the Stanford Prison Experiment, conducted by Philip Zimbardo (who also has a wonderful TED Talk  on the Psychology of Evil), shows ANYONE under the right circumstances can do evil.  The Stanford Prison Experiment is actually an excellent example of why the Templar Order is the way it is!  When people of equal standing are placed in a position where one group has perceived power and authority over the other, and when the guilt is diffused across a “group” rather than placed on a single person, horrible things can happen. In fact, more evil is done by groups of people than individuals for this very reason.

I originally had a much longer explanation about how society causes evil, but the post ended up being long anyway and this was unnecessary (but, if you want a post about that in the future, feel free to hit up my inbox or otherwise just check out that Zimbardo talk linked here).  

My point is that in order to write compelling villains it is important to understand what drove them to reach the point of atrocity they have reached, why they do as they do.  A villain who you cannot answer those questions for is going to fall flat.  Disclaimer: I am not suggesting that you excuse a villain’s actions or make apologies for what they do.  Evil is evil regardless of intention, however, knowing the explanation for the behavior can help you capture it in a story.

Why Villains Fall Flat

If my readers are anything like me, then there have been times in the consumption of media that they encounter a really awful bad person who you just kind of feel “blah” about.  They are supposed to be your protagonists’ mortal enemy, but their defeat falls flat and feels empty and anticlimactic.  Sometimes in the horror genre, authors take the “telling less” approach regarding their villains because that increases the “oooh” creepy feeling that they want to have.  This is actually really really effective for a horror film.  It is not so effective when writing action/adventure, romance, etcetera.  Why? I think that it can be pretty well summed up by the following quote by existential psychologist Rollo May:

“Hate is not the opposite of love; apathy is.”

Essentially, in order to truly hate a villain and to be both disgusted by their actions and thrilled by their defeat, you have to care about them in some way shape or form.  You have to be invested in their “origin story” and/or care about someone who is closely tied to them or affected by them.  It’s why Rendon Howe is such a good villain, and why playing the Cousland origin and meeting his children makes you hate him even that much more.  When you play the Cousland origin, you get to see the Arl through the eyes of someone who doesn’t know that he is bad.  Rendon is aloof, but ultimately respectful and he seems to have the implicit approval dear old dad (they were war buddies after all! Fought in the rebellion together!!).  Then, he has the family murdered in their sleep in a premeditated act of sheer ambition.  We get to see the death of a young woman and her son, and watch as Warden Cousland leaves her parents behind to die.  It’s tragic, it’s all Howe’s fault, and it’s effective.  Then you have this opportunity to meet Howe’s eldest son Nathaniel who is so bitter and full of rage that *you* the “hero” destroyed his family.  He can’t fathom his father doing something evil enough to warrant what happened to the Howes.  He was never that bad!  He just got caught up in politics!  He picked the wrong side in a war!  He tortured prisoners because the country was at war!.  His bedroom was  next to the torture dungeons because politics and war! I’m not saying that Nate has the most accurate view of his dad -- the man certainly wasn’t winning any father of the year awards, after all, a fact which Nathaniel eventually comes to realize (“maybe I shouldn’t defend the man who found the screams of prisoners to be soothing bedtime ambient noise” -- okay I’m exaggerating so sue me).  What I am saying is that in  listening to Nathaniel speak about his father and his family, we learn more about Howe, his life and his motivations.  We realize there is nothing more than a man behind all that evil, a man who has a family (and a family in which the other members are actually good and decent at that) and we are able to see that maybe he could have been good had things gone differently for him.  Again, it’s effective.

What Causes People to Do Evil?

As I mentioned before, just as with greatness, people are not born evil.  Evil is something that people have thrust upon them, and it is honestly really tragic if you look back and see all of the individual steps that led to a person becoming the villainous bastard you know and love to hate.  There are many different reasons a person might do evil things, but it typically falls into the theory we psychology nerds call the “diathesis-stress model,” which posits that certain people are born with a “diathesis” or a predisposition for a certain type of behavior.  In the case of an evil person it might be that the person has an irritable temperament or ambitious, selfish, narcissistic, aggressive, deviant, manipulative, etcetera tendencies.  When these people are placed under a stressor (such as, but not limited to: abuse, trauma, modeling of crime or deviant behavior, desperation, loss, etc.), the darker sides of those qualities comes out.  

NOTE: This is not to say that everyone who has these qualities and undergoes a stressor is going to become evil.  This is not to say that abuse/trauma/etc. causes evil.  In fact, most people who are traumatized do not go on to traumatize others; however, if you look at everyone who has done evil, almost all of them have done so because they grew up in an environment where such evil was the norm, and they learned nothing better.  They are people who were pushed by desperation.  They are people who ultimately have a story that is not “Oh, they’re just bad.”

Evil is the perfect storm of nature and nurture that, unfortunately, some people are not able to escape.  

Sometimes, it’s easy to care about villains because their intentions and motivations are very overtly stated.  For example:

Loghain is motivated by a very rational fear of the Orlesians and Cailan’s closeness to them.  We learn all that Loghain’s family went through during the Orlesian occupation, what happened to his mother.  We also can toy around with the possibility that his decision to quit the field at Ostagar was less obvious treason and more obviously pragmatic.  This of course doesn’t justify anything he does (you know, like striking a deal with the magisters to sell the Alienage elves into slavery or allowing Howe to, uh, torture people, what have you).

Meredith - See my above discussion of the Stanford Prison Experiment, but also consider her temperament and the trauma she was exposed to as a child with her sister who had magic and caused the death of 70 people including her family.  Is it okay that she abuses her power and abuses mages? Hell no… but we have motivation.

Solas - *sigh* Don’t make me do this one.  We get it. He has to RIGHT the WRONG. It’s his DUTY.  Cool story, still evil. (disclaimer: I love Solas. Ma vhenan. But I look at him with a critical eye when I choose to love him.  That’s important.)

Sometimes the motivations are not so clear.  I’m not particularly inclined to care about Corypheus other than I’d kinda like for him to get away from me with that demon army.  I don’t really give a flying duck about Erimond other than he is, as Cole so succinctly puts: an asshole.  There are lots of characters like that, and honestly it’s good to have a few of them sprinkled about a bit.  They’re not particularly fun to write or compelling to read (in my personal opinion), but hey! Your mileage may vary.

And now we’re back to Howe (Maker help me I never thought I’d be doing a  meta post about this awful man, but here we are).  He, and actually most if not all the minor villains in DAO, is actually really good despite his motivations not being so blatantly obvious as Loghain’s or Ulfric’s or any of the others you face in that game.  When he says, “I deserved more!” at the end, without further thought about the topic, it’s easy to say “God what a power grubbing weasley little snake of a man,” or a “cold codfish arse,” as one of my friends aptly described him.  However when you look at his background… it’s not so simple as all that. Just a few notes:

According to the lore Rendon has two fathers: Padric, who disappeared with the Wardens never to be seen again and who Rendon never forgave, and Tarleton who had no sense for loyalty and sided with the Orlesians in the rebellion and was ultimately hanged.

Young Rendon, despite his parentage chose to join the Rebellion with his besties: Bryce Cousland and Leonas Bryland.  At some point, he becomes injured and is no longer able to fight.  He is cared for by Leonas’ sister Eliane, who would later become Lady Howe.

There seems to be a lot of strife between Howe and his wife’s family, so much so that Eliane’s parents were even cold and critical of the Howe kids, Nathaniel in particular (maybe because he looks the most like Rendon, who knows?).  He expected to receive some of the Bryland wealth, but that did not happen (likely because he did not actually love his wife and Eliane’s family had no great love for him.  As far as marrying a Howe in Thedas, it would be much like marrying a Greyjoy or a Frey or a Bolton in Game of Thrones.  It’s not a family anyone particularly wanted to be associated with)

It is likely that Howe became very insecure and upset by the success of his friends, even resentful of them.  Handsome Bryce, his promotion to Teyrn,  and his Pirate Wife.  Leonas and his lovely [wealthy] family.  It made him miserable, and accompanied with all of the things that had been modeled for him by his family… it was not much of a stretch for him to go darkside.

So…What Was The Point of this Allison? Why Have You Written This Hellishly Long Post?

1.) I wanted to.  It was fun for me. This is how I spend my free time apparently.

2.) I wanted to provide some basic pointers for writing believable, but undoubtedly bad villains, and I felt like it needed context.

The Tips...Get On With Them Already. Please. We’re Begging You.  TL;DR!

1.) “Evil” is not a personality trait, it is a behavior.  People are not born evil.  They are led to do evil.

2.) Romanticized psychopaths/sociopaths are boring.

3.) In order to develop hatred for a character, you have to make the audience care about them, and the ways to do so are endless.

4.) Evil is the combination of a predisposition to do bad things plus some catalyst that causes someone to go darkside.  Nature and Nurture working together to make a twisted thing.

5.) Grey villains are abundant and very cool. Their motivations cloud their morality.

6.) Not-so-grey villains are also abundant, and can also have the potential to be very cool or the potential to be glorified Scooby-Doo villains (“And I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn’t been for you meddling WARDENS”)

7.) The line between a compelling “mwahaha” and a bleh “mwahaha” lies in the character’s backstory and motivations.  It lies in the audience caring in some way, shape, or form about that person.

8.) Rendon Howe is a character who, in my honest opinion was done right.  People loathe him.  He’s absolutely detested. Why? Because he’s a “cold codfish arse”? Maybe.  I posit that it’s because we have enough information to care about him.

Thank you for coming to this TED Talk, you all have been wonderful.

[queen-of-the-crows]

Three Fandoms

I was tagged by @dovahkiinshepardtrevelyan to give you more insight into my top 3 fandoms so here goes

Rules: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag people you wanna know better.

Three Fandoms:

Dragon Age / Game of Thrones / Arrowverse

The first character you loved:

Dragon Age: Alistair. I actually romanced him on accident cause I didn’t even know that was possible but he was so sweet and charming and funny and witty and so hopelessly romantic, I couldn’t help but love him and he still holds a special place in my heart

Game of Thrones: Jon Snow. Hands down. My sister kinda started me on this before I even watched the show because he’s one of her favorite characters and she started the show before I did. I liked that he wanted to be his own person and not just live as a bastard.

Arrowverse: Oliver Queen. kinda obvious since hes the main character and the first character you really know anything about. he grows so much just between when you meet him and the flashbacks you see and his attitude is just something i’ve always liked.

The character you never expected to love so much:

Dragon Age: This one is tough cause most of the characters I either love, hate, or am indifferent to. Probably Shale if I had to choose. I got the DLC cause it was free and I like to collect all the companions I can. I figured a golem would basically be good for fighting and that’s it but Shale’s dialogue is some of my favorite in the whole series and i adore her attitude. She’s basically me.

Game of Thrones: Tyrion. I didn’t expect to dislike him or anything like that but as the seasons go on, I just grow to love him more and more because he is truly an absolutely amazing character. 

Arrowverse: John Diggle. He starts off being Oliver’s bodyguard and is really more of an annoyance than anyone likable but when he joins him on his mission and they start to become friends and then almost like brothers. it’s really wholesome and they’re dynamic is one of my all time favorites. 

The character you relate to the most:

Dragon Age: Zevran. He keeps people at arm’s length because he doesn’t want to be hurt and sometimes doesn’t think he deserves it. He covers up his pain with humor and has a very loving heart even though he doesn’t show it. You truly have to gain his trust and his loyalty and break down his walls and that’s how I am.

Game of Thrones: Arya. The girl who doesn’t want to be a lady and would rather be a warrior, that’s 100% me. That’s why my own original character in my fic while being from a noble house abandons that to aid the Night’s Watch. Women who are just badass and don’t take anyone’s shit are my absolute favorite and very like my own personality about people. 

Arrowverse: Felicity Smoak. She loves Oliver despite his past, despite the things he’s done and how broken he can be. She’s supportive and loves him even when they aren’t together and she’s incredibly smart. She loves the way that I love when it comes to my own soulmate and I love seeing that. 

The character you’d slap:

Dragon Age: Solas. I do really like Solas as a character, don’t get me wrong. I think he’s very written and has a very cool story but there have to be better ways to restore what was lost to the elves or at least help out their lot in life without tearing apart the veil and killing everyone. Plus you know he lied to everyone and fucked some shit up. Also Loghain because I loved his character in The Stolen Throne and can’t believe he went so wrong in Origins. 

Game of Thrones: Jaime Lannister. I hated him at the beginning but after being kidnapped and traveling with Brienne I start to really like him and he really starts to change and become a better person and that’s something I love to see. But his unending devotion to Cersei pisses me off because despite all the horrible things she’s done including getting their children killed, he still loves her and stays with her up until the end of season 7 which did make me happy. But yeah, that’s why I’d slap him.

Arrowverse: Malcolm Merlin. I actually love Malcolm at least in Arrow, he pisses me the fuck off in Legends but anyway. He loves his daughter and wants to be in her life and for awhile she wants that and lets him but his greedy power hungry ass always fucks it up and loses her.

Three favourite characters (in order of preference):

Dragon Age: Fenris, Zevran, Morrigan

Game of Thrones: Jon Snow, Arya Stark, Tyrion Lannister (it was Daenarys but she really bothered me last season with how power hungry she’s becoming)

Arrowverse: Oliver Queen, Felicity Smoak, Sara Lance

A character you didn’t like at first but do now:

Dragon Age: Loghain would be the closest one to fit this category cause most of my character opinions don’t change. I played Origins first and of course hated him because he’s the bad guy and they want you to hate him but then when i read The Stolen Throne I loved his character in that, he was so relatable and his story and his romance with Rowen broke my heart. It made me feel bad for him in Origins instead of hating him and wanting to know what happened to make him change so much.

Game of Thrones: Jaime Lannister. Pretty much most people who watch the show can relate to this. His character development is so great and he changes so much you go from hating his guts and wishing his death to rooting for him. Also the Hound, I love the Hound now. I never really hated him but i didn’t really like him at first either. 

Arrowverse: Laurel Lance. I hated her basically the entire time until she picked up her sister’s mantle as Black Canary. She was an annoyance and a whiny bitch who I literally just couldn’t stand any scene she was in and wished she would die. its ironic that they killed her once she got likable. Also like Black Siren and i didn’t think I would. 

Three OTPs:

Dragon Age: Zevran/Mahariel, Isabela/Merrill, Fenris/Hawke

Game of Thrones: Jon Snow/Ygritte, Daenarys/Khal Drogo, Gendry/Arya

Arrowverse: Oliver/Felicity, Nathaniel/Amaya, Sara/Captain Cold

I tag @sassylavellen @annorarutherford @a-shakespearean-in-paris @enchantment1385 @heraldofwho