#nat and kitty have an... interesting relationship

[nathaniel-underwood-is-an-intj]

I was just gonna put this in the tags but it got a little long so I hope you don't mind me adding this on here!

At first I thought Nat's relationship to alcohol was funny- it seemed strange a 12 year old wanting champagne at a party, most kids that age would probably think it tastes horrible.

And then Nat managing to get served at 14 years old in Prague was pretty funny, especially as the way he looked and dressed at that time so clearly screamed TEENAGER! But no one really cared lol

But when you look deeper it's really sad- the slight hints throughout the book that maybe he can't deal with stressful situations without it. I think alcohol is one of those addictions that really sneaks up on you. Young people really never think about the longer term danger of drinking often, and are more unaware of how badly it can damage your organs, or how fast alcohol poisoning can happen. It's also very easy to justify, because it's often used as a social stimulant which is the majority of the time we see Nat drinking it (at parties and at lunch with Bart). These are times no one would question him drinking, and the thought wouldn't occur to people around him that he was using it more of a crutch than a social lubricant.

It's quite easy to wonder- if he's drinking because he's stressed at a party, how much is he drinking when completing paperwork at night? Or when he has an important deadline or meeting the next morning? Habitual drinkers are very good at hiding being drunk, even to people who live with them; and Nathaniel lives alone, hasn't really got anyone looking out for him anyway, so who's to know how much he using it to cope with his unreasonable workload at 17 years old.

Also, I'm reminded of the part where he summons Bart with the spear in his hand and they argue badly over Bart being summoned by someone else. Bart notes Nathaniel being extremely stressed and disheveled- probably from running his hands through his hair (a nervous habit he canonicaly has) but I like the idea that perhaps he could have been drinking beforehand!

Deveraux had problems with over eating due to stress as well by the last book which I found quite interesting because food addiction isn't covered a lot in media. And Nat comes across as a parallel to him - he admired Devereux at 12 and earned respect for saving his life, and by the end they're both so stressed they're both struggling with unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I always thought Nat would start to smoke as well to deal with stress - perhaps Rosemary flavoured ones to annoy the spirits (Bartimaeus). Especially because drinking alcohol a lot starts to inhibit your thought processes, and I don't think Nat would want to risk that happening, whereas smoking wouldn't. For example, continuing to use alcohol to stop himself being anxious at overwhelming parties but smoking while doing paperwork because he could keep his head clear.

Nat definitely seems to have an addictive personality type going by his extreme workaholic nature and the boderline OCD he develops throughout the books, so I wouldn't think it's out of character for Nat to start having more serious problems with alcohol.

I'd love to read a fix it sort of fanfic where Bart and Kitty realise Nat needs some help managing stress in a healthier way. I think he would struggle a lot but maybe he could support Kitty with her anger management because I think that's something she probably needs help with too😅

I read some post about Nathaniel's relationship with alcohol and the way he uses it to cope with stress (u know like normal teenagers do) and I loved this thought of Nat becoming so dependent at some point that he actually had to physically restrain himself from drinking in order to be able to work and the only times he allowed himself to relax were Devereux's parties

The post on the topic is by @winter2468

[fauna96]

V Prompt: Role Reversal

Title: The djinni, the thief and the magician 

[This was hard. It was very very difficult... but fun! Kudos to who guesses from where I’ve taken Kitty’s name and surname as a magician.]

Agnes Pole had a secret, a secret that could have her killed. The fact was, she didn’t choose to keep this secret; it had just happened.

They made it easy, telling you to forget your birth name; but for Agnes it had been impossible. It wasn’t that she didn’t try: at night, when she was still a child, she used to close her eyes, squeezing them hard, and she tried with all her force to expel that memory: her mother’s voice calling ‘Kitty’.

Obviously, she couldn’t do it; and, as much obviously, no one knew it, less of all her master. After all, she was the one to issue Agnes, as her first lesson, to not trust anyone; and, implied, her too. So, Agnes had kept her mouth sealed; she hadn’t even dared to say out loud that forbidden name.

When she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw Agnes Pole: a young woman with short, soft dark hair, her mouth constantly bending in a pleasing smile. She didn’t know how Kitty looked like, except for a lost five-year-old child.

Her sensor net started ringing in her ear; a moment later, at her window a pigeon materialized. Agnes made it come in and immediately it took the shape of a pale-faced young man in a grey suit.

«Mistress» he said, bowing slightly «I think I’ve found him».

 Nathanael was her regular demon for a few years, now; it was one of the first djinn with a considerable power that she had summoned, and, in the beginning, she had found it irritating without an exact reason. Really there wasn’t a reason, because the demon was precise, quiet and impeccable. Every magician’s dream.

But it was fussy, fastidious too, and with a hidden slyness capable to turn any order inside out, Agnes knew it. However, it was efficient; and, as Whitwell always said, finding efficient servants, and silent in addition, was extremely rare. So, Agnes had kept it and, in the end, there had been vantages: just to start, learning to give orders precise and crystal-clear. Then, she had found out Nathanael was a real font of knowledge and, if you made it the right questions, you would have obtained all the answers you wanted. If she had to describe her servant with a word, Agnes would have used ‘competent’.

And it really was (take that, Farrar), because it had been successful in individuate one of the thieves of artefacts that were driving all Tallow’s department and police mad.

Agnes, as the Chief of Security’s apprentice, had been placed to investigate on the series of thefts; in the beginning, she had to admit that, as a job, didn’t please her much: she hated work office, she’d have liked more to be thrown in action. Whitwell, in front of her complains, had barely risen an eyebrow. «You’re still an apprentice, Agnes» she had replied. «Be careful to not fool yourself. You’re clever and you have talent, but use your brain before talking. A work office, as you call it, could do you well».

Agnes had bitten her tongue. As she had to do every time she had met Farrar and had to endure a barrage of gibes.

And now, instead… «A very good job. Nathanael» she commented, leant on the car seat.

The young man near her tilted his head. «Thank you, mistress» he murmured, but Agnes could catch all the surprise behind the courteous tone. It wasn’t very usual that Agnes deemed her demon worthy of more than orders, but it was a particular occasion. «If everything goes well tonight, I’ll dismiss you for a while».

«Now let’s not exaggerate, mistress» the demon’s face was always pale and serious, but Agnes thought she could catch an… amused? glint behind the icy eyes.

Oh, why not? It had deserved it, at least. Of course, she would have to do without her most trusted servant, but it would have been a little time. She was perfectly capable to look after herself. It would have been weird, though, not having the tall, lanky shape behind her shoulders, silent as a shadow and as much as loyal…

«We are here» Nathanael murmured. «Do you see that corner over there? He passes over there every night to go to his… hideout. I think he has some hiding place under the bricks, because he always takes some minute there. And in that minute, he’s distracted».

Agnes nodded, without tearing her eyes away from the road. She made a gesture towards the djinni, and it slithered out the half-closed window as a curl of smoke.

They didn’t have to wait long: a figure was coming close with quick, measured steps. It stopped at the corner as expected.

And then there was a noise of struggle, a furious shout suffocated, then the boot opened up and something was thrown in.

 Nathanael didn’t like very much kidnapping kids; but he didn’t like disobeying orders either and being punished, so there wasn’t a lot of alternatives. Moreover, the kid in question had trashed like an eel and he was able to kick his shin with a boot that must have something of iron, because it stung a lot.

He and his mistress had taken him to an old abandoned library that they had used many times during various occasions. Miss Pole looked at the boy still passed out at her feet. To be truthful, there wasn’t real age difference between the magician and the commoner, but her posture, her clothes and everything made Agnes Pole always look older.

Nathanael looked at her at the corner of his eye while she seemed to review mentally what ask to the commoner. And probably, repeating herself to be calm and rational, a thing that wasn’t always Agnes Pole’s forte, despite her excellent teacher. Nathanael wrinkled slightly his nose thinking about Whitwell. Old vulture.

The boy made a sudden moan and his eyes opened wide. Nathanael saw them searching the room for a way out, then they rested on the two of them.

«Move and my demon will tear you apart».

The boy didn’t move. Then, unexpectedly he made a dazzling grin, shining on his dark face.

«Hello» he said.

Well, that wasn’t the reaction Nathanael was expecting, frankly. And neither did his mistress, holding her lips tight while the commoner kept watching them from below.

«What could have I done to deserve such an honour? Kidnapped by a magician?» he winked  with a mischievous expression, that little did suit a dirty boy, curled on the floor.

Nathanael saw clearly his mistress’ patience decrease; were they alone, he would have whispered to her to stay calm, tranquil: she was in charge, as usual.

But Agnes tightened her fists lightly and took a deep breath. «I want you to answer my questions, quickly» she said. «And maybe I could think even to let you go».

The boy sneered. «Of course, miss magician. And you give me a lift home, don’t you? No one believes it, not even your demon. You caught me, you won. I don’t know what else you want».

«The Resistance. I want your accomplices».

Fell a… curious silence. The boy grew quiet, then he spoke directly to Nathanael. «Did you tell her I’m from the Resistance? Because I stole some scrap metal? Oh dear!» And he burst out laughing so loud that the walls resounded. «I’m sorry, o most powerful magician» he could stammer out «but your demon dropped a clanger here. I work in my own».

«So do you steal artefacts just for an hobby of yours?» Agnes asked, her voice dangerously sweet. «And only magical objects, not simple jewels?»

«Ah, that is a little secret of mine, sorry. Anyway, of course I sell them. At the black market, but that surely you know. And surely you know that they’ll go to the Resistance or whatever. But I don’t want anything to do with them. I work on my own, told you».

Agnes smiled. «So those two… the kid following you anywhere and that girl so pretty… aren’t they your accomplices?»

A shadow passed on the boy’s cheeky face. Here we are, Nathanael thought.

«No» he spelt put. «They…»

«Don’t you think they’ll live better out that hole of yours? Maybe that kid would stop coughing so much».

The boy gulped and stared both in the eyes. «Look. I am a thief, it’s true. But I am not from the Resistance. You can promise me all you want, magician, but I can’t give you what I haven’t, and I haven’t any names nor addresses. If you want to throw me in jail for theft or say that I’m a terrorist, do it. It’s my word against yours, isn’t it?» His dark eyes lingered on Nathanael. «Oh, the demon, sure. You could have me tortured by it. Surely I could sing then, but I wouldn’t trust me too much. Always had a low pain tolerance level».

«Mistress» Nathanael whispered. «A word».

Agnes stepped back and tilted her head toward him. The boy’s sharp eyes kept watching them.

«I think he’s honest, partly. But if he sell magical artefacts…»

«He has some communication channel, yes» Agnes sighed and, for a moment, it seemed that her mask was slipping. «I was so close…»

«I think» murmured Nathanael «that he could be bought. Making leverage on… his two friends. Bought, not threatened».

Agnes narrowed her eyes. «What should I do? Buy them a house?»

«No» the boy’s voice came suddenly. He must have an exceptional hearing. «No. But there is something I want».

[spideyspeaches]

Scratches ↬ p.p

A/N: OKAY SO, this is like, purely smut lol has no plot :D

Warnings: public-ish? unprotected smut lol (18+ only!)

Pairing: Black cat!reader x Peter Parker (well spiderman technically)

WC: 1.2k

Masterlist

Panting from the tedious session of sparring with Natasha, Peter bent on his knees to catch a breath, sweat dripping down his back and chest as he scrunched his eyes as he saw her smirking figure looming in front of him. He was enhanced and yet she hadn't broken a sweat.

Suddenly finding his fit t-shirt suffocating, he pulled at it's neckline in an attempt to let the cool air of the AC take away some of the heat.

"How are you not even sweating? And I'm the enhanced one here!" He exclaimed, looking at Nat's smirking figure as she retreats to grab a bottle, handing him one in the process.

"Practice is the key светлячок." She shook her head fondly, looking at him with a raised eye as he raised the obstructive t shirt above his head, having difficulty removing the clingy t-shirt soaked in sweat.

"I'll call Steve, I promised him we'll spar next. Oh and Sam is coming over." She informed, taking a sip from her own bottle.

"That's great. We still have that unfinished Mario kart round anyway." Peter shrugged, turning his back to her once again, fiddling with his gym bag to look for a spare t-shirt.

Lost in his own thoughts, he momentarily forgot that he was in the same room as a highly trained assassin, not noticing that just as she bent to grab her go-to bag, she noticed some….interesting marks on the bare skin of Peter’s back. Biting back a chuckle she said " Are those nail marks?"

Eyes widening in panic, he turned around to see that there were indeed red scratches running down his back. Which was weird, because if he recalled well from the painkiller induced haze, he had healed from bullet grazes in a day, not even leaving an inkling of a scar. While they weren't hurting, he certainly knew where they came from.

"Uh no. No I just ran into a cat...during patrol you know? It was on a tree.. I had to get it down." He fumbled over his words, cheeks red as he remembered last night, "very naughty cat."

"Hey spider-babe." You greeted him, a smirk evident on your face as he looked at you through the eye-mask you wore to protect your secret identity, your platinum blonde wig glinting in the night sky as you saw him perched on the roof of a random skyscraper in his iconic "spidey pose".

"Told you not to call me that, not gonna steal anything tonight?" He said, voice muffled by his mask. Even with the mask on, his voice was husky, the usual falsetto gone as he stood up, holding your waist in a tight grip, bringing you closer so that your chests were touching flush against the other.

"I don't feel like being a bad girl tonight." You retaliated, scratching his chest with one hand and the other hand reaching for his spidey mask as you lifted it enough to expose his lips and jaw. Tracing his sharp jawline, you touched your lips to his, moaning at the contact as he jabbed his tongue into your mouth with an urgency.

"You're eager aren't you?" You said in between the kiss,"calm down baby boy, My apartment's not far."

Your heart pounded in your chest, internally cursing your impulsive mouth, even though at that moment you didn't care that bringing him to your apartment could risk your identity beyond the infamous black cat, but you wanted to know him. You wanted him to know you beyond the facade of being a burglar running around dressed in a black suit.

So far he had been as secretive of his face behind the mask as you had, and the only thing you knew about him was his superhero name. You both had agreed that you wouldn't go past the masks, because things would get messy and personal relationships were hard to maintain, so you were strangers in bed. It was good enough for both of you.

"I need you now kitty, your bed can go fuck itself." He growled, the nickname sending shivers down your spine. Reaching for the zipper of your suit, you let it fall at your legs. He was now aggressively sucking at your neck as you arched your back, giving him better access. That would surely leave a hickey, and it felt good, to be marked by him.

"Okay." Was all it took for him and for you to climb on him, your legs wrapping around his waist as he grabbed your ass, squeezing hard as you let a whimper fall from your lips. Scrambling to get down to a dark alley, you frantically click the spider emblem on his chest, watching the suit in awe as it fell down in rivulets. The masks stayed on and so did the memory of the lingering stare of the cold, mechanical eyes of his suit, tracing every indent of your body.

Not leaving a second to spare, his mouth was on yours again, his bulge against your thighs creating friction as you removed his boxers, his hard member springing out, slicked with pre-cum. Licking your lips, you spring your eyes from his dick to meet his eyes while thumbing the pink, lush tip, making him shiver. Holding on to his neck, you climbed on him, removing your panties and bra in the process, nipples hardening as the cool air hit your breasts.

"Fuck, you're so tight kitty." He gritted his teeth, holding your left boob, massaging it with a huff as you pushed yourself down, feeling his dick penetrate you. Trying to hear for any commotion, you sighed when you heard none. You were in a discreet alley, and New York had plenty of them so you didn't have to worry about unexpected visitors.

"Only for you Spidey, feel me close around you." You moaned loudly. Your stomach was coiling with a familiar pressure and you couldn't stop it, unconsciously digging your fingers in his back as you overcame with pleasure. You couldn't believe you were doing spidey in a dirty New York alley instead of a shitty motel room, goosebumps crawling your skin as you thought that you could do this everyday.

"I'm close spidey." You spit out, scrunching your eyes behind the mask, pushing your nose into his neck as you huffed a breath.

"That's it pretty girl, you're doing great." He thrusted into you this time. You were practically dancing around his body with yours, his chest glistening with sweat as he scrunched his eyes close.

You gave a last shout, orgasm spilling out of you as you laughed in pleasure, not noticing that you had left numerous scratch marks on his back. Well he would have to deal with it. Besides, his spider healing would take care of it.

Clearing his throat, he shook his head, looking at Natasha with a smirk. She looked him in the eyes with a knowing glint, because of course she knew everything, she was a superspy/assassin after all.

"Can you spider bros not communicate with your freaky spider mojo PLEASE? It's freaking me out." Tony shouts, shaking them from their stupor. Holding up a bottle, he nodded at them and continued with his treadmill.

"Those are just cat marks." He said once again, pupils dilating under the harsh sun entering from the glass windows of the compound.

"Sure. Whatever you say." She shrugged.

Smirking, he grabbed an energy drink from the stalls, passing through Tony who grumbled something about "stupid spiders".

Tagging some moots: @justapurrcat @sleighbellspideyy @arvinrussellsgirlfriend @selfcarecap @annathesillyfriend

[nadiajustbe]

OK, I got permission from the coauthor (@leeemontreethesun , by the way a lovely person with lovely drawings to sign up for, I'm not implying anything at all) and now I can tell you more about this AU.

It's a modern, no magic, sns AU, so the character descriptions I'll give for a quick read will have pages attached that I'll figure out how to post.

I would like to say that the pairing here will be a secret, but come on you're on my account, what kind of pairing can be here?

So, here, enjoy a little bit of the information

1. John Mandrake, aka Nathaniel:

17 years

chronic fatigue hey yo.

lives in foster care with Jessica Whitewell, but only has a really warm relationship with Ms. Lutyens

three accounts: a base, a closed one with only Kitty, and an even more closed one where only he

goes to art college, is into photography.

has a single but precious friend, Kitty Jones, and he treasures her very much

loves coffee and evening London.

Give him sleep and a psychologist, pls

2. Kathleen Jones aka Kitty:

17 years old (yes her and Nat are the same age here)

goes to college with Nathaniel.

but went there at her parents' request.

not really into art college because she has different interests.

community activist.

wants to be a political scientist.

feminists

has friends from her old school

values her friendship with Mandrake more than life

doesn't know his real name.

likes to draw posters for peaceful rallies

watches cartoon shows with Bartimaeus until the wee hours of the morning as her raison to live

lingering at Nat's home library, too, by the way.

3. Bartimeus:

19 years old

Is a university student in the history department.

Has a particular love and focus on Ancient Egyptian history

(Don't) joke about becoming a history teacher

just the basic account, because "why the extra account?"

will eventually have a close account

moonlights as a barista near Kitty College, often guffaws with customers and co-workers

"Explain to me grandpa what swag and slay are, and what's the difference!"

truly magically manages to combine everything and anything

bestie with Kitty.

loves atmospheric movies

and also the faces of the customers after the next prank.

loves emoji from symbols:3

4. Rosanna Lutyens:

28 years old.

teacher at Nat's art college

"Selling a painting..."

- figure maser for Nathaniel

really loves her job and the kids

can give extra lessons if a student doesn't understand something

not very active on Twitter, but writes to John

Is especially attached to John, who obviously lacks caring

Gives him less homework if she sees the boy is tired

"Mr. Lovelace, I think I made myself clear: one more time you give John extra homework without explaining the material..."

Nat once even drew her a portrait for her birthday

[whumpster-fire]

Ooh, there's so much interesting stuff in this post!

"My job is with children, not the adults they become" and again while it seems harsh to blame her for who Nat becomes, it's so much easier to pass the blame to people who are more directly responsible rather than acknowledging you also play a part. ... As if it isn't a massive step in the right direction that he saught her out in the first place- what other magican would bother? I wonder if that's why she reacted so strongly to seeing him again? Before that moment she could go about her life wondering if /pretending her attempt to protect him was enough, and now she realises it wasn't, of course it wasn't, and the image she had of Nathaniel's childhood innocence is completely ruined in her mind.

With Ms. Lutyens, I think it's not just that she's trying to avoid confronting the fact that she can't "save" the children she works with, it's that she's clearly aware that the magicians' rule is cruel and oppressive and she hates it, but her job actively participates in that system. She's kind of in a similar position to the Hyrneks selling magic books: she's teaching children the skills to draw pentacles that may one day be used to summon demons to spy on / murder dissenters. I would imagine she avoids learning anything about the careers of her former students because knowing who they were would only ever bring her pain and disappointment. Like, if she does succeed at instilling an apprentice magician with a sense of ethics, they'd probably keep their heads down and stay out of the cutthroat pursuit of power as much as possible and go work in a "boring" department that's at least less actively harmful to the public than any of the ones that have seats on the council, so she probably wouldn't hear about them anyway.

Nathaniel showing up again and revealing he'd become someone who was a major, important part of the government's worsening oppression wasn't just painful because of who he was, it must have forced Ms. Lutyens to confront her repressed feelings of guilt over her entire career. And she didn't know about any of the internal conflicts Nathaniel was going through. All she knew was that a former student stalked her and waltzed back into her life. And from her perspective John Mandrake trying to set her up in a more prestigious job is like... him revealing he'd become one of the major figures running one of the several Secret Police forces that make people disappear must've made her feel pretty shitty about the position of relatively minor privilege she enjoyed at the expense of her peripheral participation in an oppressive system, and then he offered her a position of even greater privilege and much more direct involvement in the people's oppression.

Something else worth pointing out: Ms. Lutyens not just trying to rescue Nathaniel but physically attacking Lovelace was incredibly dangerous. Given everything else we know about the system, Lovelace could've literally murdered her, or her loved ones, for that and faced zero repercussions, and Lutyens is smart enough she probably knew this. She was probably looking over her shoulder for months after that.

I always thought- couldn't she have looked for him? The Underwood house fire was in the papers and they mentioned the apprentice was being searched for. Did she ever worry about him? Surely something must have been in the papers since- an announcement of new ministers, ANYTHING! Look at how much research Kitty did to find out about Bartimaeus and Ptolemy. I just don't think Rosanna Lutyens cared enough, realistically Nathaniel wasn't hard to find- but he was no longer her responsibility so she could turn a blind eye.

I mean. If Ms. Lutyens read about the house fire in the papers, the official story was more or less that Nathaniel was suspected to have burned the house down and murdered Mr. Underwood. Knowing what Ms. Lutyens knew about Mr. Underwood's relationship with the boy, it'd be pretty reasonable to believe that this did happen and the poor kid finally snapped. And even if the old bastard had it coming, a former student being wanted for murder is a bit past the "too late for getting involved to be helpful" point.

Would things with Nathaniel have been any different if Mrs Underwood hadn't died? I don't really think so. Do you think she'd see Nathaniel's temper at 14 years old and be reminded of Arthur Underwood?

I mean... if she hadn't died, I think Nathaniel would still have turned out awful but not quite as quickly, in the sense that he wouldn't be in such a horribly stressful position at just 14 if she'd lived. Nat's ambition and frustration with his lack of power were always a problem but it was made so much worse by the trauma of Mrs. Underwood's death and his belief that he couldn't save her because he wasn't powerful enough, and everything about him was also made worse by two years of having zero support system other than Jessica Whitwell who doesn't really count. Change that and I think he'd be a little less eager to climb the office ladder so rapidly he put a massive target on his back. But any scenario where she survives would affect so many other important events as well that it's hard to speculate.

Nathaniel ends up in exactly the same place and he starts to take it out on the only person around him- Bartimaeus. Would he snap at Mrs Underwood all the time if she were still there?

There is an important difference, which is that Nathaniel has been conditioned to believe for his whole life that Bartimaeus hates him and wants nothing more than to kill him (which Bartimaeus doesn't exactly try to disabuse him of), and also that Bartimaeus isn't really a person.

It's really mean to say it but even Bartimaeus plays a role- he knows Nat is clinging on to him because he can't 'bring himself to break this last connection' (to his childhood) but instead of bringing it up properly he 'taunts' Nathaniel- a boy who has been taunted for his weakness by his master for years. And even in AOS when Nathaniel tells Bartimaeus he was beaten for the mites incident Bart just kinda shrugs it off. Like I get it, why should Bartimaeus do anything, he's suffered way worse due to the system so he doesn't owe Nat anything right? But from Nat's point of view this is the first and only time he's mentioned to anyone what has happened to him and nothing changes. It's like another lesson learnt: telling someone about it doesn't help. Another nail in the coffin.

To be fair to Bartimaeus, even if his relationship with Nathaniel wasn't so adversarial I don't think he'd be able to understand why the mites incident was so traumatic for Nathaniel. Not because Bartimaeus has suffered worse, but because now that I think about it, mouthing off to someone in a position of power because his competence was insulted, getting a warning shot, then escalating it even further and getting severely beaten is such a Bartimaeus-like move. Except Bartimaeus pulls stunts like that knowing the consequences and then is like "lol worth it" afterwards. In better circumstances Bartimaeus could have empathized more with Nathaniel's desire for revenge and his feelings of humiliation, but I don't think he could have understood the trauma of being betrayed by an authority figure who was supposed to be on his side, because Bartimaeus has never felt like he could expect anyone else to protect him.

Giving your child over to a total stranger, oh he'll be totally fine won't he? He'll grow up to be a magician and far richer than you'll ever be, he'll be happy and comfortable and be grateful he got to grow up in luxury. There's no way a stranger you've never met, who the majority of society is terrified of would ever hurt a vulnerable little kid right?

To be fair, we don't know what the circumstances for Nathaniel's parents truly were, but this is a society with debtor's prisons. It's possible that the alternative was that he, and any siblings he might have had, end up in an orphanage or workhouse with just as much potential for abuse but without any hope of escaping from the cycle of poverty, or end up starving.

Looong rant about chapter 16 Ptolemy's Gate and how being passive can add to the cycle of ab*se.

oof so I just read when Nat goes to see Ms Lutyens and I can't help but be absolutely furious at her??

I know that's maybe a little bit unfair given she's frightened of him as a magician and is obviously angry when she finds out the department he's responsible for, but honestly it kinda brings up the problem with inadvertent bystanders to child ab*se in my mind.

And I'm definitely not blaming her solely for who Nat becomes but it makes me think of all those people in huge child ab*se cases who give interviews to press about all the things they noticed that were wrong but they just...never do anything?

She stood up for him against Lovelace, and when Nat thanked her- "I wanted to say that I know you were trying to save me, and-"

''Yes, and I'm sorry I didn't" Like girl be for real did you really think that alone would undo the years of indoctrination and abuse he's already suffered and prevent years worth of the same in the years to come? And she won't take responsibility - "My job is with children, not the adults they become" and again while it seems harsh to blame her for who Nat becomes, it's so much easier to pass the blame to people who are more directly responsible rather than acknowledging you also play a part.

I think it hurts so much more because it's her specifically- Nat goes to her in sheer desperation, it almost seems like a goodbye- he wants to thank her, tries to set her up in a job that will pay well and struggles to communicate he's trying to help. At this point he thinks Bartimaeus has been summoned by another magician and his birth name will be revealed. He's sure he's about to die and if not he'll be stood on trial and lose everything.

He goes to her because she represents the peaceful moments from his childhood when he got away from his master. He's scared and feeling lost and really it's call for help; but he doesn't ask for anything he just wants to make her feel proud of him- he's looking for that validation that he's been chasing since childhood.

And that shows he still does have that little bit of childhood innocence in him; he thinks she will be proud, thinks she'll see him as the same little boy in the garden gazing up at his teacher in adoration. He can't quite grasp why she's separated the man stood before her from that little boy. Because in that moment the child inside Nathaniel is seeking comfort AND THAT'S WHY it makes me so angry. She's completely given up on him when he's at his lowest ebb, because she doesn't want to be associated with the magician he's become. As if it isn't a massive step in the right direction that he saught her out in the first place- what other magican would bother? I wonder if that's why she reacted so strongly to seeing him again? Before that moment she could go about her life wondering if /pretending her attempt to protect him was enough, and now she realises it wasn't, of course it wasn't, and the image she had of Nathaniel's childhood innocence is completely ruined in her mind.

Or was her contempt for him even grater than Nat realised? She was naturally disgusted by the rhetoric he'd started to repeat from a young age, and gently tried to correct him although she was clearly angry- was she just resigned to the fact that there is little else she could do to change his future? I always thought- couldn't she have looked for him? The Underwood house fire was in the papers and they mentioned the apprentice was being searched for. Did she ever worry about him? Surely something must have been in the papers since- an announcement of new ministers, ANYTHING! Look at how much research Kitty did to find out about Bartimaeus and Ptolemy. I just don't think Rosanna Lutyens cared enough, realistically Nathaniel wasn't hard to find- but he was no longer her responsibility so she could turn a blind eye.

And sadly it's not just her- I know everyone loves Martha Underwood including Nat; but I think her submissiveness to her husband has a negative effect on Nathaniel as well. In AOS when Nat is locked in his room for ages after setting the mites loose, and is forbidden to have any contact with anyone and she won't talk with him. I know she's been told by Mr. Underwood she can't, but it still boils my blood. She's an adult and going along with ignoring Nathaniel because her husband told her to...I can't even begin to imagine the psychological damage that would do to a 10 year old child. (It could be argued she's frightened of the consequences if her husband finds out she's disobeyed him which is fair, he could always be watching through magic- but this is Arthur Underwood we're talking about. He's lazy, oblivious and weak I doubt he'd expend all that energy each day to check up on her.)

And It's even more painful that Nathaniel is often described as fiercely loyal to her and I think to Ms Lutyens as well- he doesn't expect to be treated well by Arthur Underwood but he loved Mrs Underwood and Ms Lutyens so much he started to view them through a rose-coloured lense. He never feels betrayed by either of them, even though they absolutely let him down, because the pedestal he's put them on is too high AND THAT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYS ME.

Would things with Nathaniel have been any different if Mrs Underwood hadn't died? I don't really think so. Do you think she'd see Nathaniel's temper at 14 years old and be reminded of Arthur Underwood? He was awful, absolutely awful to Nat and to her; but he was under so much stress in an underfunded departement, where pressure was being put on him by superiors to accomplish far more than they knew him to be capable of, and he took it out on the easiest target. Nathaniel ends up in exactly the same place and he starts to take it out on the only person around him- Bartimaeus. Would he snap at Mrs Underwood all the time if she were still there? Because he's learnt that behaviour from his father figure, and subconsciously learnt from his mother figure that she'll put up with it. He learnt from the woman he loved so deeply, that if you don't resist, people will walk all over you. So you have to maintain control even if it ends up hurting people you care about because no one will step in to stop the suffering no matter how much you love them, no matter how much you want them too.

It's easy to blame Arthur Underwood and Simon Lovelace and the magicians that actively hurt Nathaniel but I just feel like it's a bit disingenuous not to acknowledge the role of those doing passive harm. It's really mean to say it but even Bartimaeus plays a role- he knows Nat is clinging on to him because he can't 'bring himself to break this last connection' (to his childhood) but instead of bringing it up properly he 'taunts' Nathaniel- a boy who has been taunted for his weakness by his master for years. And even in AOS when Nathaniel tells Bartimaeus he was beaten for the mites incident Bart just kinda shrugs it off. Like I get it, why should Bartimaeus do anything, he's suffered way worse due to the system so he doesn't owe Nat anything right? But from Nat's point of view this is the first and only time he's mentioned to anyone what has happened to him and nothing changes. It's like another lesson learnt: telling someone about it doesn't help. Another nail in the coffin.

And I like all these characters, I feel bad for them. They're all victims of the system, I think the chapter with Ms Lutyens is just the straw that broke the camel's back for me. All of those little opportunities that are insignificant to the narrative over all; the commoners have it worse, Nathaniel is in a privileged position in society, exerting control over others. He's very morally grey, crossing over into objectively bad person territory but I love him with my whole heart and all of those insignificant moments would have been massive to him whether he was conscious of it or not.

And it goes all the way back to the beginning with Nat's parents giving him up to the magicians at 5 years old. I can't get the image of that little boy sat crying all alone in the government building. And he's not going somewhere safer, or somewhere he'll be happier and more loved. Giving your child over to a total stranger, oh he'll be totally fine won't he? He'll grow up to be a magician and far richer than you'll ever be, he'll be happy and comfortable and be grateful he got to grow up in luxury. There's no way a stranger you've never met, who the majority of society is terrified of would ever hurt a vulnerable little kid right? And if they do? Well you aren't responsible anymore, how could you know? What could you possibly do against the magician taking care of him?

Every little thing is another grain of sand tipping the scale. Did anyone else have to analyse An Inspector Calls in school? It feels like that to me- those BIG moments and all the little moments in between that add onto the pile.

And it goes on to cause problems in wider society too- ab*se is so normalised to the magicians, they casually ask Underwood if he hits Nathaniel like it's nothing. Because to them it is nothing, they've all grown up in the same circumstances and are repeating what they've learnt as children. I can't help but feel a little sorry for them all, especially when they aren't looked at through the black and white lense of 'argh these people are the evil arseholes look at how they treat everyone around them, screw these guys.' When we see those little glimpses of humanity like Simon's anxiety with the amulet; looking to his master and father figure Schyler for reassurance, and what's sad is that Nat is "reminded...of his own master's cold impatience" It's clear Simon looks up to his master, wants to make him proud and loves him. But it seems like Schyler has just trained Simon up so he can get power through him later on. I love the little hints of similarities between Simon and Nathaniel; the anxious mannerisms like fiddling with his hair that Nathaniel starts to develop, the way their master's talk to them. Even though they're actively working against each other in AOS and Simon is placed firmly in the baddies category and Nat in the goodies category at this point in the series; these things always hinted to me they had similar childhoods, how was Simon treated? When he had the imp beat Nat into unconsciousness, was it because he'd had the same punishment used against him? Did he know the magicians in the room would do nothing to stop him because no one stopped it from happening to him? Did he ever have a teacher stand up for him only for it to change nothing in the end because all the negative influences were so much stronger? Is the reason he loves Schyler like a dad because he's almost developed Stockholm syndrome? It looks like love because he's never known anything else.

And Arthur Underwood- who doesn't think his upbringing, and being taken away from his family ever did him any harm- doesn't realise the harm done is that he doesn't even know another way of raising Nathaniel, because he was never shown another way. His childhood may also have been filled with people who hurt him and the people that didn't do enough to intervene.

There are so many psychology studies that show children copy everything they see the adults in their life doing. Nathaniel copies the magicians behaviour towards spirits and on a subconscious level I think he copies all the submissive people in his life. How many times does he end up upset and frustrated with the fact he seems to be going nowhere and how many times does he just hope things will be different rather than taking postive action.

I dislike the actions the magicians end up taking but I also find them fascinating to analyse. I tend to prefer villains in media because they're usually slightly more complex individuals and I love to think about how they ended up that way. They can all be seen as victims of their circumstances in a way, despite all the power and privilege they have had terrible and traumatic childhoods, and if the commoners had no valuable worldy possessions at least they had a sense of togetherness; of love and understanding and selflessness. I wonder if the magicians hated them at least partly because of that. Because out in the sea of faces of the commoners talking about nothing important, doing nothing great and noble- could be the parents that abandoned them. And when your life is on the line daily because of working with spirits, and your colleagues want to stab you in the back, sometimes not being responsible for anything important looks good. But you can't leave your life as a magician, it would be too difficult; you have nowhere to go, no real friends, no one who really loves you. So it's better to stay and be a submissive bystander in your own life because it's so much easier.

Doing nothing is doing something- being passive can be just as harmful.

[queezleofprague]

You know what? Give me the swag for the main 5 (Nat, Bart, Kitty, Ptolemy, Asmira.)

I personally tag Nat as ace/demi, Kitty as ace/grey, Bart as aroace (possibly ace/grey depending on how you read his relationship with Faquarl), and Ptol and Asmira as both aroace.

Nathaniel: gray ace and lithromantic. He seems kind of content to have a crush on people from afar, and it fades when they show interest.

Bartimaeus: ace and quiromantic. What even is romantic attraction?

Kitty: aro and demisexual. This one is mostly just vibes.

Ptolemy: aro and ace

Asmira: aro lesbian

[wordynerdygurl]

The Guy

Author’s Note:  Hello my lovelies!  I have to say, I love writing requests and taking part in Challenges.  It helps me sharpen my skills!  But, with the insane way the world is right now, I offered to participate in one... then lost the details.  So, with my sincere appreciation for @lancsnerd​ ,who kindly sent me a reminder about my missing “assignment”, I present the following! Summary/ Prompt:  A quote of “He’s the guy” and my boy, Loki Pairing:  Female Reader x Loki Warnings:  Swearing, Implied Smut, Fluff, Soft Loki

“Are you gonna tell me what I want to know?  Or… do we have to do this the hard way?”  Gravel filled and low, the Winter Soldier had you pinned against the rough brick wall, his metal arm holding your wrists together.

“Ooph!  Bucky!  Get off!”  “Make me, princess!”  

Kicking your legs free, you swung around Bucky, locking him in a bear hug from behind.  Squeezing him with your thighs, your forearms wrapped around his strong neck, “Tap out, Buck!” Wheezing, staggering back, Bucky tried spinning you around but even his metal arm was unable to grab you, “Never!” Applying more pressure to his windpipe, you grunted, “Give me the win!” “No way”, you felt his hard hand grip your thigh, breaking your hold.  Suddenly you were untethered, above your feet was the ceiling of the gym, and then there was no breath in your lungs.  Bucky had managed to flip you over and slam you down onto the waiting mat with reverberating force.  Gasping loudly, you curved up to meet Bucky’s waiting hand, “You alright, doll?”

Shaking your head, sitting up, “That was a dirty trick, Barnes.  I had you and you know it.” “Yea… but you still haven’t answered my question, so I couldn’t let you win.”  Pulling you to your feet easily, Bucky threw his arms around you, his warm hug an easy way to make sure there would be no lasting damage from your sparring session. “Why do you want to know so bad?”  Lowering yourself to the workout bench, forearms resting on your knees, you kept a close watch on your sparring partner. Tossing you a towel, Bucky grabbed both of your water bottles, sitting down on the mat in front of you.  Wiping the sweat away from your forehead, slugging down the cool water, you kicked at the super soldier sitting criss cross applesauce.  Leaning back, resting his weight on his arms stretched behind him, “Because...  I worry about you.  I want to make sure you’re safe… and I want to believe this guy is good enough for you.” Considering his words, you snapped your bottle shut, nodding, “I get it, Bucky.  I really do.  I’m just… not ready to talk about it.” Sensing your hesitation, Bucky patted your knee, “Just know that I’m here when you are ready.  And if he fucks up, I’ll kill him.” Laughing, you stood up with a groan, “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind!” At dinner that night, Steve knocked into your shoulder, “Hey kiddo.”

“Hey Stevie!  How are you?” “It’s spaghetti night, what more does a guy need?”  It was an easy exchange, making you chuckle as he loaded a plate high with pasta and sauce before settling himself into the chair next to you. Unfolding a napkin to lay over his trousers, “Bucky told me you’ve met someone?” Flicking your eyes to the Winter Soldier, who all of the sudden was very interested in something Tony was saying, you munched on your garlic bread.  Swallowing thickly and patting your mouth clean, you turned to Steve, “Oh, he did huh?” “Yes… but he says you won’t give up this guy’s name?”  Concern was present on your friend’s face.  While you appreciated Steve's sentiment, it wasn't necessary, not entirely.  You knew what you were doing and you didn't want to be talked out of it, even by your well intentioned friends.

"I don't know why everyone cares so much.  He's a guy… I'm a girl… it's traditional and boring."

Swirling a fork through his saucy plate, lifting those dutiful blue eyes to yours, "So why the secrecy?"

Chewing, thoughtful, you considered Steve's question.  It was valid.  You were quick to acknowledge that, answering, "Um… because we're still in that love bubble.  Ya know?"

Chiming in, Bucky curious now, "Love bubble?  I don't know what that is… what does that mean?  Love bubble?"

"It's that time in a new relationship when… um… it's like…" words failing, you desperately tried to give structure to your argument.

Interrupted by Loki, sulking at the end of the long table, "She doesn't want to share her paramore.  Greedily, she wants to keep the pair in a love bubble.  Separate and safe from any interference.  Unpopped, if you will."

"Is that true? You don't want us to bug you?"  Bucky's eyes widened at the thought.

Shrugging, you dug around for another meatball, "Kinda… Look, it's not that I don't love you, Buck.  Or that I don't trust you, Steve.  It's just… all of you can be a lot to deal with.  And-" looking at the faces of each of your Avenger friends, "-my… guy… I really, really like him.  I don't want to scare him away."

Admitting it out loud, that was taking a lot of your courage but you were being completely honest.  This guy, he was just about perfect and you didn't want to blow that by bringing him around your overprotective people so soon.  Natasha, the group's mama bear, smiled.  "Seems reasonable to me.  Give her some time, fellas… if he's half as great as she says, we'll like him well enough."

Steve, smiling a little in your direction, "I don't know who he is… but it seems like he makes you happy!"

Bucky, over protective, kept hounding you, "When will I get to meet him?"

"Soon, Buck.  I promise." 

"I wonder who it is… this man you care about so much that you're protecting him from us, your dearest friends!"  It was Loki, musing from afar that made the observation, his sharp eyes on you.

"I told you-" It was Tony’s turn to interrupt, loudly calling, “FRIDAY?”

“Yes, Mr. Stark?” “Start a pool.  Five dollar buy in, guesses on who this guy is… whoever has the winning answer gets the kitty!” “Tony!  Not cool!  And, not necessary!  You guys don’t really need to do this!”  But your protests went unheard as chatter erupted and a round of bills were flung on the table. Steve, murmuring to Bucky across the table, “What was that guy at the coffee shop?  Cameron?  Carson?” Snapping his fingers, Bucky answered, “Carlton!”

“He’s my guess, Tony.”  “Shit, Steve.  That’s not fair… but, ok.  Ok, my guess is Matt.  That guy from the pizza place who kept bringing extra chicken fingers for you!  You’d never admit to a date with him!”  Bucky, smug and pleased, sat back content with his detective work.

“Natasha?  Thoughts?”  Tony was typing away, his interface with FRIDAY recording all the back and forth, compiling the list of possible boyfriend candidates. Tapping her lip, Nat watched you, “Hmm… Is it Warren?  The kid from China Star who rode the Kawasaki and always wanted to take you for a ride?”

Clint leaned over you, grabbing a breadstick as he threw down a ten, “I want to put Charles, from the IT department on the list… and Juan, the recycling rep.  Both of those guys follow you around like puppies and I could see you taking pity on at least one of them!” “Nope.  No way!  She went out with Charles once already.  He was the guy who ate her french fries at dinner.  Big No-No!”  “Rhodes, how do you remember that shit?  Fine, not Charles then.  What about Frankie?  The dude from the diner?”  Clint asked the assembled team, looking for someone to back him up.

Mortified, hiding behind your hands, you grimaced.  The list, it kept growing, and you could feel icy eyes of judgement lighting you up from across the room.  You knew you’d have to answer questions later.

Jane, having joined Thor at the table, was getting caught up on your situation.  Conspiring with her Norse God of a boyfriend, she chuckled, slapping a bill on the table with the announcement, “Our money is on Loki.”

Silence overtook the room.  Everybody stared at the small, brunette scientist, evaluating if her suggestion was real or a joke.  A guffaw broke out of you and quickly gathered steam, propelling you directly into a hiccup filled giggle fit.  In a flash everyone joined in, the idea of you and Loki being together was at once so hilarious and unbelievable. It was also diverting enough that the talk of your love life died completely.  Grateful and satisfied, you finished dinner without any other questions, even offering to do the dishes.  While you were scraping remnants into the compost bucket, you felt the room’s temperature drop, noticing that Loki had slid into the room, "Love bubble is it?"

Dropping the plates into the sink, plunging your hands into the soapy water, his strong ones glide over your shoulders, "Yes.  I'm really enjoying our little bubble of love."

“Me too.”  Pressing a small kiss to the curve of your neck, Loki pulled your body close, hugging you tightly from behind.  As Loki was nearly a foot taller than you, it was nothing to tip your head up, his welcome mouth finding yours for a soft kiss.  Curving your back, your bottom rubbed against his pelvis, his desire already rising. “Although, they had a lot of suggestions, my innocent little kitten.  Should I be worried?” Shaking your head, “No.  None of those… meatballs compare with you, Loki.” “Good.  That makes me glad… and I’m pleased to know how coveted you are, my pet.”  Roving hands took the liberty of sliding under the hem of your shirt, fingertips just grazing over your bra covered breasts.

Sighing into Loki’s loving touch, “Not that you were much help!"

"What can I say?  I like seeing you squirm"  his lethal voice purred, warm against your ear.

Pirouetting in his arms, your damp hand brushing back a strand of dark curls, "Jane almost gave us away.” A small smile, almost sad, pulled down Loki’s lips, “Is the idea of you loving me so hilarious?”

“Not to me.”

His head dipped, lowering those pink lips to your own, almost colliding… when laughter, drawing near, broke your moment of connection. Effectively ending your private chat, Thor stomped confidently into the room unaware of the way Loki jumped back as if scalded, or the way your hands trembled at the possibility of discovery.  “Brother!  I need to speak with you!” Flicking his desire filled eyes to yours, Loki smirked, “Of course… to what do I owe the honor?” “I have asked Jane to be my bride!” “Brother!  It’s about time Jane made an honest man out of you!”  Loki, more than a little surprised but genuinely pleased for his sibling, hugged Thor close.  “YAY!  That’s so exciting!  Have you guys picked a date yet?”  Wiping your hands dry, leaning against the sink, you were happy to hear all of Thor's big news. Shaking his blonde head excitedly, “We shall be wed in three months time… and I was hoping that Loki would play for our special day?” 

Loki, blushing a deep rosy pink, “Thor… It’s been years.” 

“So?  What of that, God of Mischief?  You always find a way”, wagging a finger at his dark hued brother, Thor’s teasing grin was sweet. Piling on excuses, trying to gently defer his brother’s marital request, Loki added, “I don’t think I have a suitable instrument.”

That was enough for your mouth to hang open, “Wait… you want Loki to perform?  Like play music?  At your wedding?”  “Of course!  He’s the best chamber musician in Asgard.  Possibly the entire Nine Realms.”  Pride filled Thor’s words at Loki’s accomplishments, something you found impossibly charming, even if you couldn’t quite believe what he said was true.  

“Thor, really… I don't think-" Clapping a broad hand onto his younger brother's shoulder, Thor’s tone changed, “Music from home, Loki. It would mean so much, especially since… Mother and Father-”  

Loki held up a hand, stopping Thor from going further into emotional sincerity, unable to bear the rawness in his brother’s words.  Closing his eyes, agreeing, “Fine.  Ok, I’ll… I’ll do it!’  Loki could sense your watchful eyes on him, curious and questioning, as he gave into his older brother.    

With his easy smile spreading, Thor’s joy pushed the cloud of sadness away, “Our special day will be filled with music!  And flowers!  Jane has a whole… Pinterest board?  I don’t know what that is but she’s filled it with ideas-” spinning around to grab you off your feet, Thor continued, “And you’ll be invited too!  All of the team must come, not just my wayward brother!” Getting swept up in Thor’s passionate excitement, you laughed, offering up more congratulations and promises of attending.  As your toes touched the floor, Thor pulled Loki away, “Jane says you will take Darcy as a date for the ceremony.” Tilting his head, Loki shrugged shyly, speaking loud enough for you to hear, “Uh… actually, I already have a date.” Gripping Loki in a rib smashing hug, Thor squeezed his little brother tightly, “That is marvelous news!  Jane will be so pleased!  So, who’s the lucky girl?” Smiling, you watched them go, happy to see the pair so connected.  You didn’t need to hear Loki’s answer.  You knew who he’d be taking to Thor’s wedding.

That night, as you were toweling dry your cropped hair, a pop of green light signaled the arrival of your secret boyfriend.  He was positively electric, grabbing you by the terry robe covered hips, and kissing you swiftly.  Loki's hands rubbed over the soft fabric on your back until they cradled your smiling face, "Hmm… you smell so clean that it makes me think dirty thoughts."

Giggling, you rose up on your toes, curling your hands into his tangle of dark hair.  You bent his waiting mouth to your own, savoring the sensation of shared breath, as your tongue flicked over Loki's lips, “Dirtier than that?” Nodding, his heated look hungry, “Oh yes.” "How dirty are we talking?", you teased, resting your cheek against Loki's chest.  His rich laugh, rumbling through his core, joined your own.  Pressing his forehead to yours, Loki sighed sweetly, "I missed you…"

"I just saw you at dinner!"

"But it's been too long.  I… I need more."

Turning to hang up your towel, over your shoulder, "More what, my prince?"

"More of you."  Having gained on you while your back was turned, Loki was behind you now, wrapping his long arms around your waist.

Squealing, delighted, "LOKI!  Someone will hear!"

Dropping you quickly on the mattress, Loki shimmied up beside you, toying with the open collar on your robe, "So?"

"So… they'll find you here."

Thoughtfully, Loki’s proud look captured your own, "Maybe I don't care.  Not anymore… Maybe I don't want to keep you and me… us, a secret."

Swallowing hard, your gaze trapped by Loki's earnest expression, "Really?  You're ready to pop the love bubble?"

His fingertips brushed over the thin skin between your breasts, "Yes?  I… I think so.  Are you?"

Biting on your bottom lip, scrutinizing his handsome face, "Loki, I…"

Freezing, his hand stalled, and Loki sat back on his heels.  Looking out your window, shoulders slumping in resignation, "You don't want to tell anyone.  You are ashamed to be with me."

Swiftly sitting up, cupping his face with your hands, crooning, "No, no, no, no, no, no!"

Shrugging away from your touch, "You don't care for me, not like you claim to, if you won't declare your feelings for all to hear."

"Loki!  That's not it at all."  

Letting you tug him closer, Loki's tear filled eyes still refused to meet your own, "Loki… I… I love you.  And… I just don't want to share you.  Not yet, anyway.  That is-" putting your arms around his neck until you were nose to nose with the red-rimmed eyes of an emotional Odinson, "-my only reason for keeping our romance quiet."

Whispering, Loki was too shocked to shake you off, "You… love me?"  His voice wavered, as if the idea of being loved by you had never been a real possibility, as if something impossible was occurring right here and now.

On your knees, sighing, you started pressing tiny kisses along those sharp as knives cheekbones, "Yes.  I am crazy in love with you, Loki Odinson."

Loki had held you tightly before; in the night when terrific dreams haunted his sleep, in the night when he claimed your body for his own.  But this embrace, after telling the dark Prince the truth in your heart, had no equal.  

Still taller than you, even though you were both kneeling, Loki's right arm wove around your waist forcing your hips flush with his own.  His left supported your back, his hand cradling the nape of your neck, helping him kiss you soundly.  It was conquering.  

You were his.  Body and soul.  What's more?  He was yours.

Coming up for air, panting from the work of loving you, "My dove, my dearest one… I love you too."

Shucking your robe was easy and Loki savored the lavender soap scented skin he exposed.  If a spot of you wasn’t kissed, it was licked. If not licked, nipped.  If not nipped, it was caressed.  And Loki was very thorough. When you mewled, weak from forced pleasure, “Loki… please.  Make love to me.” he was eager to comply. “Look at me, darling girl.”  Puffing out your pleasure filled breath, skin dewy with perspiration, you met Loki’s eyes with your own.  Resting his hand over your heart, he lifted your own, letting you feel the pattern of his pulse.  “It beats for you and for you alone.” In the afterglow, laying in Loki’s arms, you stifled another giggle.  Groggy from exertion, Loki opened one eye, “What’s so funny?” “You never told me you play a musical instrument.” “You never asked.”

“Are you any good?”

“You’ll find out when you accompany me to Thor’s wedding.” --- With his heavy cello, Loki took a seat on the edge of the dance floor, taking just a moment to get settled.  A beautifully strange combination of concentration and relaxation mingled over the features you loved so dearly.  Fiddling with strings, taking a moment to tune the instrument, you admired his long, talented fingers as they took their place on the frets. The din of conversation was silenced when the first low note of Loki’s song echoed through the ballroom.  Everyone paused, entranced at the melody weaving its way through the throng of well wishers.  Many were surprised, but not you, not entirely. You knew how long Loki had been preparing for this moment.  It wasn’t all about making Thor’s day special, although, that was surely part of it.  No, he planned to seduce every single person with sound.  Giving all of the attendees a taste of what being loved by Loki was like, he hoped The Avengers would see that he was worthy of you in all ways. Mesmerized, the bow danced over the strings, each note perfectly played.  It wasn’t hard to picture those shapely digits dancing over your skin in the dark of night.  Sending a shiver up your back, you sipped at your champagne, unwilling to take your eyes off of Loki. “I didn’t know he was so talented.”  Bucky, stiff in his tuxedo, sidled up to you with Steve in tow. “Me either.  Look at those fingers fly!” “Guys… hush.”  Shooting a silencing glare their way, you let the music transport you, swaying just a bit at the soothing sound. Too soon, in your opinion, the last lingering note of Loki’s song filled the hall.  Rising swiftly, Loki bowed at the applause, then turned to the happy couple.  Thor hugged his brother close, while Loki kissed Jane’s hand with a gentlemanly air.  Conversations started again, quiet at first, then gaining strength as Loki strode across the room.  Snagging a glass of champagne from a passing tray, his eyes trained on you, Loki accepted accolades as he moved ever closer.  Another server took his empty glass as Loki finally made his way to you.

Scooping you up, Loki spun you slowly in a circle, your gown snapping behind you in an emerald wave of chiffon and lace.  “Loki!  Come on, put me down!” “As my lady commands”, when your mouth passed close enough to his own, Loki kissed you as if you had never kissed before.  You pushed your hands through his dark locks, a hand on each side of his face, “You were amazing, babe.  Just amazing!”

“You really think so?” “Absolutely!”  His arm settled on your waist, keeping you tight to his side, as you were handed another glass of bubbly.

Bucky, leaning against Steve, wore a look of wide eyed shock, “Um.  Loki… what the fuck are you doing?"

"Agent Barnes, do I really need to explain?"

Mouth dropping open, Bucky gaped, "He’s the guy?  Really?  You’re telling me Loki is the guy?” “She’s not telling us, Buck… she’s showing us.”

“But Stevie…?  Loki?  You?  You’re the guy who makes her happy?  The one who she’s been covering for?” Pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead, just a touch guilty, “I am.  And, I’m madly in love with her.” “I’m happy Bucky.  Stevie… really.  Loki is… he’s my everything.  I love him, too.”  

As your secret was outed, the group formed a circle around you and Loki.  Questions were shouted, congratulations extolled, Loki was clapped on the back more than once.  Natasha gave you a wink and the "ok", which was really all the approval you needed. 

“So, who won the pool then?”, Clint couldn’t help asking. “Me… and Thor”, the bride stepped right up to Tony with her hand out ready to take the prize money. “No fair!  He’s your brother in law now.  He probably told you!”  Rhodey chimed in, unsatisfied with the final results. Defending her methods, Jane spun in her wedding dress, “No way!  I used my powers of scientific deduction.  I knew she was head over heels for Loki the night we announced our engagement.” Wondering, you looked at Jane, “You did?  How?  I mean, I didn't tell anyone.  We didn't tell anyone ” “You didn't have to!  You two wouldn’t look at each other.  Dead give away.”  Counting her cash, Jane smiled at you. “That may be true, but I promise you this, Odinson… break her heart and I’ll kill you.”  Bucky shook Loki’s hand good naturedly, if a little too long, stopping only when Steve pulled him away. Gazing down at you, adoration evident in his face, Loki husked, “Not to worry, Agent Barnes.  She has my heart you see... and I plan to be her guy as long as she’ll have me.”

Tagging my Minxes:  @lancsnerd​ @vodka-and-some-sass​ @just-random-obsessions​ @brokenthelovely​ @lots-of-loki​ @thefallenbibliophilequote​ @sammy-jo1977​ @queenofmischief​ @iamverity​ @iluvsumbucky​ @unadulteratedwizardlove​ @wolfsmom1​ @procrastinatinglikeabitch​ @mizfit2​ @shxdowofdarkness​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @ahintofkiwistrawberry​ @jessiejunebug​ @rorybutnotgilmore​ @crystalizedcaramel​ @lokislittlecorner​ @scrumptious-finicky-illusion​ @capcapcapsicle​ @jamielea81​ @caffiend-queen​ @thenatalie @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore​ @is-it-madness​ @jenjen8675309​ @alexakeyloveloki​ @poetic-fiasco​ 

[angelofrainfrogs]

Essence of the Spirit (Ch. 1)

Fandoms: The Bartimaeus Trilogy and Lockwood & Co. (Crossover)

Description: During an assignment in the government archives, Nathaniel, Bartimaeus, and Kitty come across a scrying glass that’s a portal to another world—a world where Spirits aren’t made of magic and essence, but are the sorrowful souls of those dearly departed. However, before Nathaniel and Kitty can enlist the help of Lockwood and Co. to get home, they must convince the ghost-hunters they mean no harm—a task made difficult when it comes to the obviously unhuman Bartimaeus at their side.

Rating: K+

Genre: General/Humor

Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25476073/chapters/61797229

A/N: This is a crossover I've been working on for quite a while, and I'm excited to finally share it! A few notes before you get started reading: This takes place in a “Nathaniel Lives" alternate ending to Ptolemy's Gate, meaning that Nathaniel survived the battle with Nouda. It's been a few years since then, so Nathaniel and Kitty are meant to be about 19-20 in this fic. Lockwood & Co. are fresh off the events of The Creeping Shadow when this fic takes place, but haven't been through the events of The Empty Grave. I love trying to combine the worlds of Jonathan Stroud, and I hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Chapter 1

Nathaniel shivered and crossed his arms tightly. His sweater did little to stave off the cold in the government vaults, and he’d been down there for hours.

“Ooh, it does feel a bit nippy in here, doesn’t it?”

Nathaniel glanced to his left and found Bartimaeus pretending to shiver along with him, wearing a puffy jacket so big it nearly swallowed up Ptolemy’s small frame serving as the djinni’s current guise. The magician rolled his eyes, knowing perfectly well Bartimaeus wasn’t bothered by this insignificant amount of cold.

Bartimaeus met Nathaniel’s gaze and grinned. “Want me to light a fire? It would make the room nice and toasty!”

“Yes, and burn us all up in the process,” Kitty snapped from Nathaniel’s other side. She was bent over a large wooden box, busying herself with sifting through various items of unknown magical origin. She paused momentarily to glare at the djinni. “With all the documents in this stuffy room, one spark would light the whole place up in seconds.”

“No need to get tetchy; it was merely a suggestion!” Bartimaeus responded, sounding offended, making the puffy jacket disappear with a wave of his hand to reveal the jeans and grey t-shirt he’d dubbed his “modern” outfit underneath.

“It was a bad one, and you know it.” Kitty went back to rummaging around in the box. “Can either of you make yourselves useful and help me find this stupid thing? Nathaniel, remind me what we’re even looking for again?”

“Um, let me check,” Nathaniel replied, uncrossing his arms and reaching into his pocket. He pulled out an index card and read, “’A small, rounded grey disc.’ Be careful rooting around for it, though; supposedly those who have touched disc have… ‘disappeared?’” Nathaniel frowned. “If that’s the case, I don’t know why they’d leave it at the bottom of a box, lumped in with a bunch of other magical artifacts…”

“Why do humans make any of the decisions that they do?” Bartimaeus mused. He sighed dramatically, shaking his head. “5,000 years coming and going from this dreadful Earth, and I still haven’t the faintest idea.”

Nathaniel pointedly ignored him, silently reading over the index card again.

Two years after the Makepeace Incident, as the attempted overthrow of the government and subsequent near-takeover by magical spirits had become known, Nathaniel was fully resituated into his job as Information Minister. Once he’d recovered from his miraculous survival, there was talk of him moving up in the ranks, and even mention of him taking on the role of Prime Minister someday. But after everything he’d been through, Nathaniel realized he truly didn’t want the immeasurable power that came with leading an entire country. All he wanted was to have a stable job that kept him busy, with his newfound companion Kitty by his side.

Nathaniel never planned to see Bartimaeus again, figuring that after all the djinni had done for him and the world, he deserved a long rest. But, to his surprise, the time they spent bonded together (not to mention Kitty’s visit to the Other Place) had sparked a strange desire for Bartimaeus to want companionship from the two of them. Of course, until a way to freely move back and forth from the Other Place was discovered, Bartimaeus could only visit through a Summoning. So, the djinni agreed to be occasionally summoned to Earth by his familiar master under the strict condition that Nathaniel would release Bartimaeus whenever he wished.

This arrangement suited everyone just fine. Nathaniel had to admit that being so closely connected to the djinni’s essence created an irrevocable bond between them; he often felt as though a part of him was missing whenever Bartimaeus rested in the Other Place. There were so many things about Bartimaeus and Spirits in general that Nathaniel wanted to learn, and the snarky djinni was more than willing to divulge this information to him and Kitty in his own time. The trio still argued constantly, but their words were now only full of playful banter; a mutual understanding between them assured that no one truly wanted to hurt each other anymore.

It was during one of Bartimaeus’ visits that Nathaniel had been tasked to go down to the government vaults and locate an item of interest for Internal Affairs to review. Kitty wanted to help, and her new position in the government, as well as her close relationship with Nathaniel, allowed her to aid him with this task. While Kitty never wanted to be too embroiled in politics, she found success and a sense of worth as the official liaison between the members of Parliament and the common people. Nathaniel had been extremely vocal about Kitty’s efforts in helping take down Nouda, giving Kitty a notoriety that allowed her to have a hand in a lot more things than would normally be expected from her job title alone.

Thus, the trio found themselves down in the dusty government vaults. Kitty immediately set to work rifling through boxes upon their arrival and, seeing as she was on a mission, Nathaniel and Bartimaeus knew not to get in her way unless she asked for assistance.

“Wait, I might not need your help after all!” Kitty suddenly exclaimed. With a grunt of effort, she pushed herself back onto her feet. A circular object was clutched in her right hand, barely wider than the length of her palm. It was wrapped in a black cloth that had begun to fall off in one place, revealing an outer edge to the grey disc laced with an intricate pattern.

“Those are runes!” Nathaniel said excitedly, peering closely at the exposed edge. “Like from a summoning circle, but… off, somehow.”

“Interesting,” Bartimaeus agreed, his golden eyes lighting up with curiosity.

Kitty laid the disc on top of another box and carefully pulled the cloth away, revealing a scrying glass covered in strange markings on the outer circle. The three of them stared at the disc, trying to decipher what it was and, more importantly, what it was used for.

“It seems like a combination of runes for a typical summoning, some Ptolemaic markings of a reverse summoning circle, and…” Nathaniel wrinkled his nose in confusion, pointing to a symbol scratched near the edge of the disc. “…something else. I’m not sure what that symbol means. Bartimaeus, care to enlighten us?”

“What, that one?” Bartimaeus raised an eyebrow. “That’s the Greek word for ‘stay!’ Come on, Nat; this is kids’ stuff!”

“No, not that one!” Nathaniel jabbed his finger a little closer. “That one!”

“The Egyptian symbol for water?”

“No!”

“The Greek word for-”

“I can read Greek!” Nathaniel let out a growl of frustration. Bartimaeus knew just how to push his buttons, especially when he wasn’t in the mood for it. The slightly upward tilt of the djinni’s mouth made Nathaniel glare harder. “This symbol right here.”

For a second, dead silence filled the room. Nathaniel swiveled between Kitty and Bartimaeus’ shocked expressions, eventually casting his gaze downwards to where his index finger pressed firmly against the grey disc. Another beat of silence passed, and then Kitty began to shout.

Nathaniel couldn’t hear her words clearly, for his mind was solely focused on his hand currently being pulled into the center of the disc. The rest of his arm followed suit, flattening and twisting as if it were liquid being pulled down a drain. He felt only a numb tingling sensation, and for that he was grateful. If he was about to die, he’d rather it be fast and painless.

A tug on Nathaniel’s other hand made him glance back to find Bartimaeus clutched onto him with an iron grip. The djinni pulled as hard as he could, and this did cause Nathaniel much discomfort; he felt as though his arm might be ripped out of its socket. Kitty firmly grasped him around the waist and tried to aid Bartimaeus in moving Nathaniel away from the dangerous object.

But the pull of the disc was far stronger than the combination of a determined human and a powerful spirit. Before he could utter any poignant final words, the rest of Nathaniel’s body was sucked into the disc and the world went black around him.

***

When Nathaniel opened his eyes, his first thought was that the afterlife looked extremely dull. He’d expected white, pearly gates or some other fantastical sight, but the area he laid in was dark, dingy, and only marginally warmer than the government vaults. He felt a pressure upon him and turned his head to see Kitty laying on his back, arms still clamped tightly around his waist. Her eyes were shut, face twisted in an expression of fear and determination.

“Kitty?” Nathaniel said quietly. He made a move to stand and realized that Bartimaeus’ hand remained tightly around his own. The magician gave a small sigh of relief; if the djinni was present, it meant that Nathaniel was still alive. It also meant that they weren’t completely defenseless.

“It amazes me how you continue to do such stupid things after all this time,” Bartimaeus commented dryly, his eyes glowing in the dim light as he wrenched his hand back. His intense glare made Nathaniel grimace; he could tell Bartimaeus was legitimately upset with him.

“I agree, and we need to have a serious talk about that again… but that’s not our main concern right now,” Kitty said, disentangling herself from Nathaniel. Bartimaeus stood and held out his hands; Nathaniel grabbed one, Kitty took the other, and in one swift motion, the djinni pulled them both to their feet. As the trio examined their surroundings, they realized a rather startling fact:

They were not alone.

A pudgy boy sat at one of the desks that formed a semi-circle around the room. He had round spectacles, wide, bright blue eyes, and a pale-lipped mouth that hung open like a fish. His gaze swiveled to each member of the trio, trying to take them all in at once.

“Oh, uh… hello!” Nathaniel quickly regained his composure, straightening out his shirt and puffing himself up like a person with authority. He flashed a smile, but the boy simply stared. Nathaniel noted that he appeared to be in his mid-teens. The magician took a step forward and extended a hand. “We apologize for the intrusion but… we seem to have found ourselves here accidentally.”

“…I can see that,” the boy responded, slowly getting to his feet. The trio watched him intently as his eyes flickered to a door at the other end of the room. “And how exactly did you end up here?”

“Well…” Nathaniel trailed off, wondering how much he could reveal. His work within the government vaults was top secret and couldn’t be shared with just anyone he came across.

“Magic,” Bartimaeus said, and Nathaniel snapped his head towards him. The djinni wore an indecipherable expression, though Nathaniel could tell by his posture—arms crossed, hip jutting out slightly, eyes scanning the boy up and down—that Bartimaeus was sizing this kid up to determine how much of a threat he was.

“…Magic, huh?” The boy looked mildly offended as he removed his glasses and rubbed them furiously on the bottom of his sweatshirt. “Right. Well… I know someone who’s quite skilled in magic, so… I’m just going to pop upstairs and find him.”

The boy calmly repositioned his glasses onto his nose. Then, with a surprising burst of speed, he suddenly bolted for the door. Kitty took off after him, but the boy was already too far ahead of her and slammed the door in her face. Kitty smacked a fist against it with a growl of frustration, while Nathaniel looked at Bartimaeus questioningly.

“Why didn’t you go after him?!” he asked. The djinni shrugged.

“He’s just a human,” Bartimaeus responded. “Maybe he’s getting help, maybe he’s getting the authorities. If he causes trouble when he comes back, I’ll take care of him. Right now, our most important task is to try to find a way out of here. Since that disc was obviously a portal, I suggest we see if there’s a matching one somewhere in this room.”

Nathaniel pursed his lips but couldn’t argue with Bartimaeus’ logic. He glanced at Kitty, who had already busied herself with trying to pick the door lock with a hairpin pulled from one of her jacket pockets. Nathaniel sighed and turned back to Bartimaeus; with a nod, they began their search for a way home.

***

Read Chapter 1. (You are here.) 

[aquariusrunes]

More of this Trio I love

Alix pretty much forces Damian into the Art Club, once she knows he’s into drawing. Which is when he starts to get to know Nathaniel better. I have my own head canons of Nathaniel, I like to think he’s got a very dry sense of humor and is kind of sassy, whispering curt comments under his breath. I think him and Damian would get along great. They sit in the back of a room sometimes, just drawing and making random comments about what’s going on. Everyone knows Nathaniel as the sweet shy talented artist. But when he and Damian are whispering back and forth he is tearing people apart and Damian is thriving off of his cynicism. 

Nathaniel is the first person to find out about Damian’s boyfriend. Because I imagine Nat loves to gush about his. He’s always quick to show off his Marc’s writing talent, and Damian appreciates fine literature so he agrees to look at some of the boy’s stories, maybe even edits a few of them. Damian enjoys Marc’s writing style, and even gets into their comic a little. Coming from Gotham he has some of the best first hand experience with truly psychotic villains, so he gives great tips on the characterization of akumas, and personality traits for Hawkmoth. 

Nathaniel found out about Colin because Damian just let it slip. Nat was running some ideas by Damian about his and Marc’s anniversary. And He just replied, only half paying attention “ well for Colin and I’s anniversary-” Of course Nat didn’t go around blabbing it to everyone, he knew how to keep a secret. But did make him increasingly more disgusted by Lila’s unwelcome advances towards Damian. Because he was in a relationship and wasn’t even interested in girls. Nat had a feeling though, even if Damian told her that Lila still wouldn’t stop. 

Rose adores Damian. It’s kind of weird how much she loves him. It’s like she just attached herself to him and he just accepted it. She often refers to Damian as one of her very best friends, she’ll hold his hand and hang on his arm. He’s drawn her a few pictures, gotten her some fancy perfume. She’s just a sweet girl and Damian enjoys her, she’s harmless is what he tells his cousin. It’s rare for someone to be mean to Rose but once Damian is her new best friend, no one would dare touch her. Damian takes it upon himself to teach her some self defense techniques. Paris is dangerous with all the akumas running about, he just wants to make sure she’s safe. Everyone always talks about the head canon of Marinette punching an akuma in the face, picture tiny sweet Rose charging at one of these monsters and just decking them. 

They volunteer at animal shelters together. Damian and Rose will sit tightly, shoulder to shoulder and just swipe through cute cat photos, cooing over the cute creatures. They’ll argue about names. 

“Fluffy!” 

“Rose, please, look at that small kitten. He's obviously a Bartholomew.” 

I imagine they get Kagami to volunteer with them as well. Damian is convinced if she had a cat in her life she’d be happier and he’s not going to stop until she owns one. Rose agrees, Kagami needs a cat and they even get Alix on the bandwagon at a certain point. Soon Marc and Nathaniel are coming with them to volunteer, but mainly just to try and talk Kagami into getting a cat. Damian actually suggests to Marinette that they do some sort of pet drive as a fundraiser. An “Adopt an Animal in need Day.” 

Marinette loves it. She’s wanted a pet her whole life but because of the bakery she never could. She and Damian work their butts off to make this day happen. It’s in a park and they partner with a few local shelters. Damian works possibly ten times harder than anyone else, he’s naming animals left and right, to help people connect with them better. He’s down right shoving animals into people’s hands. And taking animals away from some other people that he just doesn't get a good vibe from. 

At the end of the day half the class has new pets. Kim and Ivan now have dogs, Mylene got a cat. Kagami did get pressured into getting a cat as well, a very fat orange tabby cat. And Adrien has a brand new kitten as well. A small black puff ball that someone took a picture of him holding, it went viral almost instantly, not only getting the adoption lots of publicity but also creating a huge buzz about Adrien and his new pet. Basically Gabriel’s hands were tied by the media, so he couldn’t tell Adrien no. Plagg isn’t a huge fan of the kitten but Adrien thinks it’s just a show. He even named the kitten Cheese, hoping it would make Plagg like him more. 

And that’s as far as I’ve thought so far. If anyone has a name for Kagami’s kitty give me an idea, right now I’m throwing back and forth Juice, Samurai, and Katana. If anyone wants me to break down how I think Damian and the girls’ relationship with other characters would be like in this au let me know or send me an ask. Right now I think I’m tentatively dubbing this The Triad AU.

Credit for the cool trio / AU name goes to @bee-wrecker I loved their suggestion so much!

First Post i made about this au Here

[szopenhauer]

Think of a movie and now give me that movie title: random Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 

Quote a line from that movie:

Name a song: random MARUV & Boosin — I Want You 

What’s a line from that song? Baby turn me, turn me on All night long What’s the last word spelled backwords of that line? GNOL XD Whats the relationship between you and the last person you texted? my fiancee What would your name be if you replaced T’s with S’s & A’s with E’s? Zuzenne Would you ever legally change you name to that? nah Your boyfriend/girlfriend say they can’t hang out & it’s been two weeks. You? ok How often do you think about death? all the time Where were you when you had your first sleepover? Your house or a friends’? friend’s - P.W.

Are you hungry?: thirsty

What did you buy last time you went to the store?: food? bread not food? trinkets - for example - two books and a tiny stuffed dog

Do you think stained glass windows are pretty?: I don’t know tbh

Are you a chocoholic?: not at all

Have you ever been carded when buying something? : not even when I was buying cigarettes

Do you have a favorite highlighter color?: yellow

Do you have a flashlight?: I do

Do you like watermelon?: nah

Has anyone ever walked in on you while you were on the toilet?: obvi, many times but usually just family members

Do you like a lot of ice in your drinks?: noooo

Have you ever painted a room?: bathroom Have you ever petted a donkey? from what I remember

Out of all 24 hours, which one is your favourite? hmm... Have you ever been in a lighthouse? nope

What time are you planning on going to bed tonight? no idea Have you ever been bit by an animal? yeah Did it rain today? kinda What was the name of the last dog you pet? it was my dog - Łasuch Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? sure Are you constantly judging people? could say so Have you ever had anything stolen from you? sorta Which would you rather, a snowy day, sunny day, rainy day or cloudy day?: cloudy or sunny maybe rainy but definitely not snowy How long have you ever spent away from home? month? Has your luggage ever been lost at the airport? Did you get it back? - About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep? few Are there any air fresheners in your house? What kinds? no What scent of candle do you burn the most? we don’t For what reason did you last cry? ugh... What kind of surveys do you wish there were more of? deep

Last time you were attacked by an animal? this summer? Are you paranoid all the time or just during the night? more often during the day actually  Have you ever dated someone without knowing their name? last name, not first, I was a stupid kid and was dating a guy online once and several boys at camp just to show off somebody likes me that way even tho I wasn’t really interested nor knew anything about those matters

If you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, how much do you really eat? a tiny bit If you need to ask a question in class do you raise your hand? of course How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? once, currently Do you have to see something to really believe it? jak niewierny Tomasz - często Have you ever gotten so dehydrated that you passed out? I’m surprised that I didn’t :x If your friend was being cheated on, would you tell them? absolutely Do you always assume the worst? that me indeed Are you sick and tired of life? sadly Have you ever been busted for under age drinking? I wasn’t drinking underage, I still don’t drink  Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? 1 and a tik tok Have you witnessed a fight at school? bunch

What is your favorite time of day to run? when I’m late for the bus lmfao

When was the last time you talked to your mom? recently Do your parents crush your dreams? sometimes Did you sleep in today? I didn’t Do you hate sleeping in? I love sleeping in  How late do you consider too late to sleep in? noon, 11am is already late  How long have you had a smartphone? less than 5 years Do you keep lists of names that you like? even tho I don’t want kids :P Have you ever butt-dialed someone? it happened

First letter of the names of everyone you have kissed, like *that*; M.

Do you like going to school sports games? eww, boring Have you ever worn your boyfriend’s clothes? guy from camp gave me his cap for a day Have you ever stolen your sibling’s clothes? I had to wear them when she was growing up, gross Have you ever loved someone and HATED it? later? Do you like Starbucks or would you rather just have water or something? just water lol Have you ever walked into a door before? po maturze zapomniałam, że woźny zamknął drzwi, które się same otwierały i walnęłam w nie, raz przytrzepałam sie w futrynę bo za szybko skręciłam w nocy do pokoju, mama uderzyła mnie drzwiami jak byłam mała i stałam za blisko wejścia dzwoniąc do domu więc spadłam ze schodów, a ojciec stuknął mnie tymi dworcowymi przy wiadukcie i wylałam na siebie sok - to chyba wszystkie przypadki Do you know anyone who’s like, psycho-religious? fanatic? my uncle is one of those Have you ever been stuck on a ski lift? luckily never been there to begin with Do you know who Nancy Sinatra is? ain’t this the gal who sings “those boots were made for walking” or smth like that? Have you ever bought anything from an airport? I wasn’t there so... If I asked you who you were gonna marry a year ago, you would say; omg Do you snore, talk, sleepwalk, or drool? drool at times, sorry also roll/kick around and fart ^^” When you woke up this morning, what was your first thought? I was wondering why Nat fronted If you could start completely over knowing what you do now, would you? possibly

If you drink coffee, do you have a favorite flavor & brand? If so, what? not applicable Have you ever personally known a pair of Conjoined twins? woah What is your first thought when you see people kissing in public? "get a room” Would you ever consider being a professional stunt-person? I have no abilities/skills/health etc for that kind of job and it’s really sad actors get prizes for stunt-ppl’s work

How about a Mailman? my father was and that ruined his body so I doubt it (Besides Hello kitty) Do you have a favorite Sanrio character? If so, Who? Hello Kitty is evil Do you flinch when strangers touch you? don’t touch me! Can you remember the first time you went to a movie theater? I believe Is there something in particular you like to look at photos of? What is it? I have strange interests... Do you actually like the taste of Diet Soda? didn’t try and don’t plan to What brand of toliet paper do you normally use? I don’t give a shit ;) Do the Charmin bears make you feel uncomfortable? xD fact that they’re red makes me uneasy On average, how many cans of soda would you say you drink daily? zero Did/do you ever stick your chewed -up gum under tables? I spat it on grass when I was younger and had stuck it in my hair years before as well but every other gum I trashed properly Can you remember the last thing you watched on the news that upset you? that’s why I avoid news How do you feel about red lipstick, is it whorish? it’s my fav but I no longer use makeup What is your definition of feminism? fighting for equal rights between women and men like pay in workplaces Are you comfortable in shorts? am not So, have you watched that Bob’s Burgers show? Do you like it? fragments 

Do you ever get the feeling you dont belong? always Do you believe actions speak louder than words? good actors will use both ways to lie

If your friend tried to commit suicide infront of you how would you react? how, why, who, when etc. Ever had a rumour spread about you? plenty Have you ever tried to impress someone before? majority of my life and I hate myself for that If someone jumped on your back what would you do? die? If you had a child and they turned out just like you would you be happy? poor kid... If you could choose the gender of your child what gender would you choose? not that I want kids but girl

Name three people you want to meet in Heaven. from those who died or are alive rn?

What could be the theme song of your life? I was taking a quiz today and they gave me Kero Kero Bonito - I'd Rather Sleep

Do you have any embarrassing health issues? :( Who do you wish you could talk to? grandma and/or brother Do you lose or misplace things a lot? very rarely lose, misplace more often but still usually same item like my scissors What was the name of the street you grew up on (if you don’t live there now) I live here! Does it still feel like summer where you live? it’s too cold for that Do you have a Paypal account? I wish Have you ever had a brand or company reach out to you on Instagram? polyvore What is the last thing you purchased from Etsy? I have no bank account to be able to buy stuff there Do you sell on Etsy? I’d like to someday Do you have a favorite aunt, and if so, who is it? aunt Alice Who is your favorite cousin? no one Have you bought next year’s calendar yet? yup What year did/will you turn 30? 2022 What’s a food that you like, but it makes you feel sick? no comment Do you like the name Addison? sounds like a shoe Is there anything that you regret getting rid of? ... Have you ever stood up to a bully? couple of times Do you own striped tights? nude and transparent Have you ever made your own Halloween costume out of clothes from ur closet? yep When was the last time you received a hug? this day Do you have anyone who hugs you regularly? dad? Would you rather have the bottom bunk or top bunk? bottom Window seat or aisle seat? window, aisle if in church  Have you ever thrown up on an airplane? that’s one of the reasons I won’t fly Have you ever seen anyone else throw up on an airplane? that’s another... Have you ever gotten sick in the car? almost Do you still wear clothes from the children’s section? whoops you got me What color is your watch? I need to buy watch for Nat... What color was the last pair of flip-flops you wore? last time I was wearing flip flops was before middle school and they were pink I suppose Were you born in your favorite season? in the worst! Have you eaten oatmeal lately? regularly... Do you enjoy editing photos? if not a snapchat filter selfie then I prefer them “natural” What is your favorite app on your phone? Choices forever! lately I begun playing The arcana and it’s pretty good, Lisa downloaded Addams family mystery mansion or smth but it’s not that cool and I used to play the detective story which was awesome <3  Do you answer your phone every time it rings? hell no Do you like to decoupage things? scrapbooks/collages are way better How many tabs are open on your browser right now? 9 with this one but I forgot to close the background music 

How many times have you had sex within the past two years? Guesstimate? personal How many times in a month do you go to the movies? How much do you spend? not at all

When was the last time you heard thunder? Where were you at anyway? this month? home When was the last time you were in trouble with your parents? If so. it’s complicated Do you know anyone who claims to have the ability to see the future? I have dreams that come true and my parents do, also my gf When you go to the movies, do you actually watch the movies or not? ... what else would I do in the cinema? oh, you mean kiss and such? waste of money Do you love or loathe the Eurovision? I don’t mind it Have you ever wielded a sword? wanna try :D If you were famous would you want a statue or a building names after you? what for Can you erect a tent? hope I didn’t forgot How tall is the tallest person you know? didn’t ask Have you ever ridden a camel? might try What’s your opinion on rats? cute

[thepenultimateunicorn]

Notes from my Samarkand reread

I basically marked up my whole book (yeah I write in my books sue me) and there’s honestly too much to be said in one post but there were some things I forgot about until rereading, particularly odd character tidbits that might be relevant to any fanfics I attempt to write, and also some stuff that made me do a double take either cause it was funny or I have questions about it or I didn’t absorb it fully the first time or cause it lines up suspiciously with the next two books.

Under a cut cause longposting and incoherent

Mrs. Underwood makes an offhanded comment about Nat looking for the chocolate spread for breakfast. This is almost entirely conjecture, but I do find the idea of Nat liking Nutella cute.

Nat is a swimmer. He took lessons twice every week as a kid with the Underwoods, and in the months leading up to summon Bartimaeus it mentions he swam every morning to improve his stamina and to “grow strong in body”. Summoning has a physical element to it, so being athletic is actually vaguely relevant to magicians. This is a long-winded way of saying I don’t think Nat is as weak and pathetic as we tend to think of him. Idk how much he continued exercising into books 2 and 3, but I find it doubtful he would have just stopped entirely especially with his fixation on remaining in control and staying strong in front of his demons. He’s kind of portrayed as frail and out of breath in parts of Ptolemy’s Gate, but that might be more due to exhaustion than him being a wimp? The bottom line is, he’s not about to get into a fist fight or anything, but I think he could probably take Artemis Fowl if he had to.

In conjuncture with the swimming point, Nat apparently took classes with commoner kids, but was too awkward to make friends early on, and by the age of 8 they were actively avoiding him due to his status :(

Nat knows how to play a lyre (yeah yeah I guess I’m just rehashing his education regimen but this stuff was all things I’d forgotten).

Music also appears to be a trigger for Nathaniel, since it leads to ‘distant memories’ resurfacing, presumably of his life before the Underwoods. This makes me wonder if maybe one of his parents was a musician. Or maybe they just had a lot of music playing in their house. Either way, Nat is sensitive to it.

“You don’t want to die just yet, do you Nathaniel?” StroUD?????

Nathaniel’s birthday is in November. He’s most likely a Scorpio. Could be sagittarius but assuming the first book still takes place in November, but after Nat’s birthday, I’m going with Scorpio. I don’t even believe in astrology, so idk what the significance of this is but it seemed funny.

“Do you beat him?” “Rarely.” is in fact in the book and not just a graphic novel addition. Anyway, Underwood? We’re going to have words.

“He made swift progress with his studies, for his mind was fired with hate.” Ah, spite, the best motivator. Also, what a mood.

“Too much hate is bad for you.” “Why?” The fact that Nat just does not get it...I stan an emotional illiterate.

Nat at 12 and Ptolemy at 14 are the exact same height, according to Bart. Either Nat’s a bit tall or Ptolemy is a bit short. Given the fact that people are on average taller than they used to be, and also Bart labels Nat as very average, I’m rolling with Ptolemy being short by our standards. Kitty at 13 is also slightly taller than Ptolemy, and ergo slightly taller than Nat.

When was Bart’s last pre-Nathaniel summoning? He knows what a Yellow Pages book is, and is familiar with kids playing marbles (both things that started late 1800s/early 1900s as far as I know), so presumably sometime within the last century? I’m really curious what his other adventures during the modernish era looked like.

“Ambition is all very well, my lad, but you must cloak it. If it is too obvious, you will find yourself brought down in flames before you reach your twenties.” StROUD????????

“I shall get that stamped at the ministry directly and you will then officially exist. However, don’t go getting above yourself.” wow such an ego rush, being publically acknowledged to exist. If it isn’t obvious the reread doubled my hatred of Underwood.

Think it’s interesting to note that at the Prime Minister’s address, there are other apprentices and they appear to know each other and the magicians. Nathaniel not having any kind of peer group is an oddity even among magicians, and more so than his powers singling him out, it’s probably because Underwood forcibly isolated him.

“His face mottled with rage, he took two quick steps in Nathaniel’s direction, his hand raised to strike. Nathaniel flinched, but the blow did not fall.” Nat flinches. Underwood has done this before. If he weren’t already dead I’d kill him myself.

I only relate to Underwood once in this whole book and that’s at how upset he is when Lovelace breaks his best teapot.

Nathaniel ran straight into fire, toward Jabor, just because he thought there might still be a slight chance of saving Mrs. Underwood. My heart.

“He was going to his death. Which would have been fine, except he was taking me along for the ride.” I know this isn’t necessarily foreshadowing but why are there so many references to Nathaniel dying in this book? The comparison to Ptolemy and not living very long, most magicians not being as ‘suicidal’ as Nat? The two quotes I marked earlier? Was Stroud really laying the groundwork that early?

More evidence for Nat being high-int/low-wis; he just takes off his pants while swapping into the grocer uniform and when Bart tells him not to put the uniform ones on because he didn’t realize he’d taken his off, Nat just...goes with it? And doesn’t question why Bart is telling him to just ditch his pants????

I forgot that Nathaniel straight up murders someone in this book. And not even in that usual way of children’s stories where the villain’s own mistakes do them in??? Nat just. lobs some mild explosives at him like huh let’s see what this’ll do. (granted Schyler was trying to kill him but it’s still not usual to kid’s books)

“Surrender to my tender claws” “Nathaniel went white” Nat is so freaking scared of Bart? Earlier he was having nightmares about Bart eating him. It really makes their relationship that much sadder.

Bart shouts Nathaniel’s name in the hall at the end. How did nobody hear that and connect the dots? Then again I guess nobody noticed much of Bart towards the end. Nat did manage to pass him off as a foliot.

The reality distortion toward the ending reminded me of Annihilation (a spell turning to flowers, a chandelier turning to a flock of birds). Feel like it could be aesthetically interesting if they ever make that movie.

Devereaux flinching when a literal twelve year old approaches him. How did this man become Prime Minister (yeah yeah, I know, a coup and nepotism, but still)

That’s about it.

Also feel like the climax of this book could have been speeded up if someone had a gun. It wouldn’t be as dramatic but it sure would be funny. Let’s see the Amulet of Samarkand try to defend against bullets.

Okay that’s it.

Also Nathaniel deserved better.

I’m done.

[zisurru]

in some of your fics the setting implies a larger after-series universe which i really like, like the routines bartimaeus and nathaniel share, how they work etc. so what is your canon after-ptolemy's-gate and how does everyone function?

i have several! but the one where nat is still alive...basically bart, nat, and kitty are a semi-dysfunctional little family. nathaniel offered to buy kitty a house (and a car, and a bunch of other things because that is how one shows affection, right?), but she doesn’t want or need a house to herself. she ends up sharing a house/flat/something with nat. they both need the company. the pretense is that they’re going to work on research together, but having someone you (mostly!) trust around keeps the ghosts away. nathaniel still works in government, but mostly long-distance with occasional terrible meetings. i don’t know enough about politics to make up anything about what he does. 

he doesn’t share all of kitty’s ideals, but he’s starting to come around. kitty wants to end the enslavement of spirits. nathaniel thinks that’s insane but admirable. 

as for bart, they summon him sort of rarely at first but he keeps making up excuses to stay longer. they have to work out how to split his time between home 1 and home 2. he pretends he’s just visiting when he’s with them, but he has a little space to himself, a room he’s colonized and filled with books he finds interesting and little knickknacks. he keeps an eye on his humans. he keeps two eyes on them, really. he cautiously pats nathaniel’s hair when he falls asleep on him on the sofa. 

sometimes he wants to back out entirely and cut ties, but that would be possibly even more painful than the alternative. he could no more cut off a part of his own soul. he and nat spend a lot of time relentlessly dunking on other, but it’s how they show affection. he and kitty have deep philosophical conversations that end, similarly, with insulting the other’s species. nat and kitty are cautious around each other at first but they grow quite close. i think if any of them were in a romantic relationship it would be less ‘hey want to go on a date’ and more slowly getting closer until realizing one day that they’ve actually been partners for like a year, how did that happen?

[formutantkind]

Our roles are nothing more than how the times choose to cast us.

How has your character developed throughout season 2? What event specifically affected them?

Magneto only came onto the scene during season 2, but I like to think he’s been developing slowly but surely. His main focus has been his children, the twins and Lorna, and reconnecting with Jean Grey. The Skrulls were more an after thought for him, he was never truly concerned. Irritated perhaps, because they threatened Mutantkind, but if they killed homo-sapiens in the process, he was almost willing to let them. The Power Swap was interesting for him, but only insofar as it gave him yet another in with Lorna, bonding over the loss of their abilities. The biggest event that has effected him was taking Wanda to Europe, to the gravesite of his first daughter, telling her the truth of who he was -- and more importantly, who she was.

What important relationships changed due to the Skrull Invasion? If they were largely unaffected, do you believe anything could changed in the future?

None of Erik’s relationships changed, though fighting on the Skrull ship did allow him the opportunity to meet T’Challa and Tyrone. I think his relationship with these two might lead somewhere interesting, given that they worked so well together.

What relationships would you like to develop throughout season 3?

Danielle Moonstar. Not only is she a powerful mutant, but Danielle also sees the necessity of violence at times. While Erik considers the X-Force a pitiful half-measure, though not quite as useless as the X-Men themselves, he’s impressed that someone among their ranks had the wherewithal to form such a team. He’s hoping to fold them into the Brotherhood someday, and that starts with Danielle. @moonstarmiragc​

Diana Prince. Erik and Diana had an impromptu meeting and got coffee together, and he finds her delightful. She seemed to enjoy his company too, but of course, he never revealed his identity to her, nor she to him. I think it’ll be interesting to see how these two react to each other in their alter egos, him as Magneto and her as Wonder Woman. @oflove-andwar​

Elizabeth Braddock. As an Omega level mutant, Psylocke is always going to fascinate Magneto. Another member of the X-Force, and a powerful one at that. Erik is always looking to turn people to his side, through flattery and manipulation, though I suspect she won’t be one to fall for it. It’ll still be interesting to see him try. @shurayuki​

Harleen Quinzel. Erik and Harley Quinn keep meeting briefly, but each time he grows more interested in her. I think these two could have an interesting relationship, and he might even tempt her to the dark side of things once more. I’d love for him to find out about her past, and for her to find out about his. @thatclownlady​

Illyana Rasputin. The queen of an entire hell, Illyana would be a powerful ally to have, and Erik knows it. He’s sent Raven to her as well, and spoken to her himself, in an effort to convince her that her efforts are better spent with the Brotherhood. I can’t wait to see where this plot goes. @ruleroflimbo​

Jean Grey. Jean was one of Erik’s first and most precious students. He always saw the potential in her, and he’s been delighted over the years to see that he wasn’t wrong. Jean is truly something special, a force to be reckoned with. And Erik truly believes that he is the only one who will give her the true opportunity to make a difference in the world. Despite their differences of opinion, these two still have a lot of respect for each other, and enough history to make this relationship endlessly fascinating. @lifeincarncte​

June Moone. Erik has only recently learned about June and the Enchantress, and he’s made a promise to help her attempt to control the power within her. He doesn’t yet fully understand the Enchantress, but I imagine once he realizes,  he’ll only be more interested in her. I’d love to see Erik actually talk to the Enchantress, one on one, and see where that conversation leads. @ancientenchantments​

Kitty Pryde. Newly returned from space, Kitty Pryde is one of the most prized and powerful X-Men, and Erik knows that he will never truly sway her to his side. But he does have some level of respect for her, despite the clear disdain she has for him and his methods. I honestly have no idea where this will lead, but I want to see them interact more. @pridefulshadowcat​

Laura Kinney. Erik hasn’t yet had the pleasure of meeting Laura, but I imagine he’s heard rumors of her. Her tactical capabilities and her power in a fight is something he’ll definitely crave, and I think he’ll probably explore a similar line of manipulation as with the Enchantress or Lorna -- offering to teach her, mentor her, help her embrace the ‘vicious’ side of her. @xtwcntythree​

Lorna Dane. His youngest daughter, and the one most clearly like him. Now that she knows the truth about what happened to her family, and now that the Twins are rapidly turning against him, Erik is going to be all the more careful with Lorna. He needs her on his side, to claim that at least one of his children has seen the light. He’s been mentoring her, and he’s about to reveal the truth to her, hoping that she will take it much better than Wanda or Pietro did. @mistresscfmagnetism​

Natasha Romanoff. Nat was the one who gained Magneto’s powers during the Power Swap. They haven’t spoken to each other before or since, but he knows the Black Widow and what she can do. He also knows that she was replaced by Skrulls during the Invasion. I imagine the conversations they could have now would be very poignant. @slcvicshadow​

Raven Darkholme. Mystique, his beautiful, loyal Mystique. No one else has shown the same level of dedication and capability when it comes to carrying out the goals of the Brotherhood. This relationship isn’t romantic, it’s so much deeper than that. Erik knows that Mystique is the one person in the world who would never betray him or let him down, who will never fail to deliver what she promises. He has so much faith in her, but she’s earned every bit of it. He sees her, and she is one of the few to truly see him. He trusts her to carry out his goals, even if he were to perish. More importantly, he trusts her to end him if he ever strays from the path they’ve chosen. @thcmystique​

Tandy Bowen and Tyrone Johnson. Erik met Cloak on the Skrull ship and was impressed with the boy’s aptitude and his bloodthirsty methods. He knows of both, and he’ll want to convince them to join up with him, since he still believes they are mutants. When he finds out they are not, his interest may wane, depending on a few factors. @lightfcrce​ @darkfcrces​

Wanda Maximoff. Erik spent a great deal of time and energy in season 2 trying to worm his way into Wanda’s life, and manipulate her into trusting him. It nearly worked, because the respect he has for her is genuine, and the care he has for her stems beyond their familial relationship. But things are currently rocky, after his spat with Pietro, and the realization that he’s been lying to her for months. I don’t know where it will lead, but Erik still hopes that Wanda will see reason and come to trust him. @thcscarletwltch​

Pietro Maximoff. Erik’s one and only son, and the only child for whom he feels nothing but disappointment. Perhaps it’s because he sees too much of himself in Pietro, though this would be more subconscious than anything else. On the surface, he’s disappointed by the boy’s behavior, his brash attitude, and furious that he’s jeopardized his plan for Wanda. I imagine there will be a lot more tense arguments between these two as the new season goes on. @gcttagofcst​

Johnny Storm. Erik is undoubtedly not a fan of the Human Torch. Beyond his homo-sapien status, he’s also dating Wanda, and Erik doesn’t approve. He thinks she deserves much more than a ‘hot head’ like Johnny. He can’t deny the boy is powerful, but he considers him foolhardy. The two haven’t really had a chance to confront each other, but now that Wanda knows the truth and has presumably told Johnny, things could get very, very intersting. @cftorch​

Scott Summers. In the RP, these two haven’t spoken yet, but there’s a lot of history between the X-Men and Magneto. Particularly with Scott being so close to Jean, I imagine there’d be a lot of tension to cover. So let’s get these two in a room together! @cyclxpswasright​

Remy LeBeau. Gambit is another mutant that Erik hopes to one day sway over to his side. The boy’s petty thefts and tricks are a waste in Erik’s opinion, and he believes that Remy could be much more than that given the right direction. He was already rebuked once from offering that guidance, but he’s not done with Remy just yet. @turn-of-the-cards​

T’Challa Udaku. The king of Wakanda was the other man on the ship that Erik met. Together with Cloak, they managed to free several prisoners, and they fought well together. I imagine these two meeting up again would be very interesting, as they both have a sort of begruding respect for one another. @blackpcnthcr​

Tommy Shepherd. Erik has only recently met Tommy, but he’s already impressed with his capabilities. He sees him as a sort of improved Pietro, and would be very interested in getting closer to the boy. Test his loyalties. @speedyshcpherd​

Tony Stark. Iron Man only challenged Erik once during season 2, and Erik feels that he definitely walked away the victor. But what’s not to love in a thread with a man who wears a metal suit and a man who controls that metal? I think these two could really push each other’s buttons as well, I want more. @the-m3chanic​

Where would you like your character to go throughout season 3? Specifically, how will they react to Battleworld?

I think Erik will see Battleworld as an opportunity. A true test of ‘survival of the fittest,’ and Magneto always believes that Mutants are the fittest in any situation. While he’ll definitely want to overthrow Doom, he may not be eager to return to the world that has oppressed his people for so long. He might even see Battleworld as a chance to rule a dimension for himself, and allow mutants to prosper.

What specific plots would you like to explore during season 3? Remember, this is a great opportunity to form more connections and start arcs with each other!

I’ll definitely be continuing the storylines with each of Magneto’s children, because who doesn’t love a good dose of Magnodad.

In that same vein, Magneto will constantly be trying to convince any and all mutants to join the Brotherhood and fight with him. He’ll do this through manipulation, a sharp intelligence, and meticulous planning.

I also want to see Magneto pushing to place himself at the top of Battleworld. Overthrowing Doom for his own purposes, rather than with the goal of returning to 616 Earth. I think it’d be interesting if he maybe convinced the Panel or any of the superheroes teams that he’s willing to help, and then betrayed them at the last second.

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Willing to Learn

A Vision x Reader Fic Request

For @this-kitty-has-claws because she whines but I love her, and she convinced me Vision needed more fiction.

Pairing: Vision x Reader   |   Word Count: 2800 Warnings: none, just fluff and stuff

You were standing in the kitchen, lit only by the glow from the stove, eating a bowl of cereal over the sink as you tried to slow your racing heart. You knew better. Oh how you knew better than to watch a scary movie by yourself at eleven o’clock at night, but nearly everyone was gone from the compound, and you’d really wanted to see The Conjuring which everyone else had watched without you when you’d been off on a mission for Fury.

Now you were halfway through and scared stupid, wolfing down cereal because your freaky ass stomach had decided it wanted food, requiring you to walk through the compound, alone, in the dark, at night, by yourself, to get something to eat. It was horrifying to realize A the compound was far bigger than you’d thought, and B the place was fudging scary at night. Had it always had so many shadows? Did it always make those noises? Were those footsteps or were you imagining things?

When the hand came down on your shoulder, you screamed like a banshee, bowl, spoon and cereal going in the sink with a shatter of glass as you spun to defend yourself from the witch come to possess you only to come face to face with Vision.

“Holy shit!” you squealed, grabbing for your chest.

“(Y/N)? Are you alright? I noticed elevated levels of cortisol and a rapid increase in your heart rate, and came to see why you were in distress?” He peered curiously into the sink. “Did the cereal somehow… threaten you?” His strange but beautiful eyes seemed to twinkle with amusement.

“Ha! You’re so not funny,” you grumbled, turning to clean up the mess when he batted your hands away.

“You will only cause yourself damage in your nervous state. Let me.”

Rolling your eyes, you went to the freezer and pulled out a pint of Tom and Jerry’s, still needing to fill the void and opting for comfort food after the fright of your life. “What are you doing skulking around?” you asked, leaning against the counter and eating straight from the carton.

“I do not skulk. I was reading when your presence disturbed me.” He glanced at you, brow arched accusingly.

You looked down at your ice cream. “Oh,” you murmured. It was very hard to get a read on Vision. The others, you knew, all liked you well enough to laugh and tease and joke. You were part of the team, mostly normal with a few special quirks that came in handy on missions. If it wasn’t for the bullet that had clipped your upper arm a week ago, you would have been out with Steve and Bucky and Sam like always.

Still healing, you’d been taken off the roster until Bruce, Wanda, and Nat returned from their mission, and Bruce could give you the all clear. Any doc could, technically, but you preferred Bruce. He wouldn’t bullshit you about your progress. If he didn’t like the healing, he’d tell you.

You weren’t quite sure why Vision was here when Wanda wasn’t. Usually wherever one was the other wasn’t far behind.

Their relationship was another you’d had a difficult time understanding. They were so close you’d originally thought they had a thing, but a giggling Wanda had only shaken her head.

She and Vision had been through a lot together, good and bad, and were indeed very close. She may love him, but she wasn’t in love with him. Her sly grin showed she was well aware of why you were asking, setting you blushing and stammering before you’d run very quickly out of the room.

He was such a sweet guy, Vision, but you always felt ever so slightly chastised by him. It was subtle, but it picked at your confidence. Tonight was clearly no different.

“Sorry for disturbing you.” Turning away from the kitchen, you headed back toward your room with your tub of ice cream.

“I did not mean to send you scurrying away, (Y/N),” he said as his long red fingers wrapped around your wrist.

“It’s fine.” But you didn’t look at him, only at the slowly melting ice cream.

“Will you tell me what truly upset you? Perhaps I can assist.”

A flush darkened your cheeks. “Made the mistake of watching a scary movie by myself. Don’t worry about it. I’ll leave you to your reading.” Pulling away, you headed back to your room, a little less scared, replaced by sadness and disappointment.

The trip back, though faster, was no less unnerving as you made your way through dark corridors and down deserted hallways, the glow of security lights and emergency exits the only ones to guide your way. There was little point in turning them all on, wasting power, when it was just you, well, and Vision, but he could see perfectly fine in this lighting.

Walking into your room, you sighed, prepared to return to your movie and not sleep for the next twenty-four to thirty-six hours.

“This scary movie…”

His voice coming from the darkened corner made you shriek a second time.

Evidently prepared, he was there to catch the tub of ice cream and your spoon before they could hit the ground.

“Goddammit, Vision! What did we say about doing that?” Again you stood holding your chest, fearing for the heart trying to hammer its way free.

This time he could not contain the chuckle your terror caused. “Apologies. I will endeavour to remember in the future.” He drifted closer.

“You have a perfectly fine, functional memory. I think you do it on purpose!” you groused, flopping to pout on the couch.

A smile twitched his lips as he sat beside you. “As I was saying, this scary movie, is it the one the others watched without you?”

“Yeah. I really want to see it, but damn… she's scary!” you said, tucking into the bucket of chocolate chip goodness once he handed it back. “Bite?” you asked without thinking, used to sharing your food with whoever was with you. But you rarely saw Vision eat and flushed when you realized you'd offered not only the ice cream but a shared spoon. “Never mind,” you murmured, drawing your offering back.

His warm fingers wrapped around your wrist. “Wait. I am not familiar with this flavour. Wanda prefers the cherry kind.”

You watched him lead the spoon back to his mouth, eyes locked with yours as it slipped between his lips.

He had such a unique face. Strong lines and interesting structures. The red and silver colours did nothing to detract from his features, you actually found them enticing. He may be different, but he was still handsome.

“Hm. Interesting,” he murmured when he released your hand.

Drawing the spoon back swiftly, you blinked at him before finding your voice. “Better or worse than Cherry Garcia?”

“Different. I think… I prefer the chocolate chips.”

A radiant smile bloomed upon your face. “Really?”

“Indeed.” He settled further into the couch. “I've heard tell if one watches a scary movie in the company of another, especially one of masculine persuasion, they are less likely to be afraid. I would test this hypothesis if you'd allow me?”

You weren't about to look a gift horse in the mouth and scrambled for the remote. “I'll even share my ice cream,” you beamed at him, scooting up on the couch, so your legs were curled beneath you, knees pointed his direction.

It wasn't until he shifted to drape his arm along the back of the sofa you realized just how close he was. “I would expect no less from you,” he said softly, turning his attention to the movie.

The soft words made you wonder, but you pushed them aside in favour of asking, “Do you need a rundown on the movie to this point?”

He only looked pointedly at you, causing you to blush.

“Ah. Right. Computer brain with the crazy WiFi access. Never mind.” You dug out another spoonful of ice cream and pressed play.

The movie started again, engrossing you enough to have you forgetting it was Vision sitting at your side. When he wanted ice cream, he simply commandeered the spoon, no different than Bucky or Steve. When the tub was empty, and you'd jumped for the third time, you didn't remember the thigh you were gripping didn't belong to Sam.

The squeak of fright left you, and you buried your face in the argyle sweater vest, finding yourself wrapped up in strong arms which offered comfort and protection but weren't Thor.

Throwing your legs over his, you watched the rest of the movie from the safety of his lap from behind the screen of your fingers until the witch was finally defeated and you relaxed your tense muscles as the volume was lowered by his hand on the remote.

“Fascinating,” Vision murmured.

All your slowly softening muscles became rock hard in an instant when reality returned. Turning to look up at his incredibly close face, you swallowed in unease. “What… what is?”

“You reacted no different with me then you would with any of the others once the movie took your attention. I had wondered.” He seemed genuinely puzzled about why that was.

“I… don’t understand,” you frowned.

His arm was still wrapped firmly around your back, the other across your thighs, hand resting on your hip. “In our day to day interactions, you rarely have contact with me. With Steve, Bucky, Tony, Wanda, even Thor who you see far less frequently than I, all receive your affection so easily… but not… me.”

Surprise filled you, he appeared almost… hurt. “Vision?”

His hands flexed as if he was inclined to draw you closer. “What did I do to make you dislike me?”

You gaped, shocked beyond words. “I don’t!”

This time he frowned, eyes locked intently on your face. “Now I do not understand.”

When he made to shift you from your position, you grabbed onto his sweater with both hands. “Wait! No, I…” you swallowed, dropping your hands to your lap, watching them twist together. “It’s not… not what you think.”

“Then… what is it?”

Sighing, you wish now you had let him shift you away, perhaps it would have made this easier. “I do like you, Vision… quite a lot actually,” you whispered.

“Excuse me?” he sounded shocked.

“I like you.”

“I am… uncertain what to do with this information.”

Blushing fully red, you shifted, trying to remove yourself from him.

“Wait.” His arms tightened.

“Why? I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough.”

“(Y/N), I seem to always be chasing you away.” He drew you closer, right up against him.

“What… what…?” you gasped, hands coming up to press against his chest.

“I am not yet as adept at speaking my thoughts or my… feelings as I would like.”

Wide-eyed, you could only stare into his electric blue eyes, mind numb, until your brain kicked back in. “What? What are you saying?”

“It seems as I have failed in speaking my desires, I have been just as terrible at showing my interest.”

“Yah think?” you muttered, making him flinch and look away. “I thought… I thought you didn’t like me.”

“Why would you ever think that?” His eyes darted back to yours.

It was your turn to look away. “Because… I seem to always be inept to you. Couldn’t even clean out the sink tonight,” you muttered. “You tend to… scold me…” The lightbulb in your brain went off. “You’re trying to protect me.”

He nodded slowly. “I find it very… disheartening when you are injured.”

“Really?” you asked, smile growing.

His brow arched. “You find my disquiet over your injuries pleasing?”

“No, no, no.” You reached up and hesitantly touched his face.

Eyes closing, Vision leaned into the contact, rubbing against your palm in little nods which set your heart fluttering.

“The fact that you care pleases me,” you whispered.

The hand at your hip lifted, mirrored the touch you had on his face. His thumb traced your bottom lip. “(Y/N) I am… uneducated in the ways of romance and love. I fear I will not make a very pleasing… suitor.”

You smiled at the old-fashioned term. “You been talking to Bucky about this?”

“Steve,” he admitted.

“What was his advice?” you asked, figuring you already knew.

“He thought it would be best if I stayed back, spent time with you away from the others.”

“Good advice,” you agreed. “Anything else?”

“Sam said…” if an android could blush, he would have, “if I really wanted to know if I had a shot, I should just kiss you and see what happened.”

You’re breath hitched softly in excitement. “Why don’t you try it and find out.”

His thumb swept your lip again, pulling down on it just slightly, and sending your heart rate skyrocketing. Red lips descended tentatively, hesitating just before they touched yours, and you closed the distance.

It wasn’t fireworks and earthquakes, but it was sweet, tender, and so very gentle. It melted your heart. “Vision,” you sighed when his head lifted.

“I am not well versed in this new path… but I’m willing to learn if you’ll teach me.” Earnest eyes and a soft smile were your undoing.

Shifting around, you straddled his lap and ran your hands lightly over his smooth head, following the lines of silver in his skin. “I’ve always been one to believe in hands-on training,” you said with a smile before sinking into his mouth and showing him what he’d been missing.

When you broke some minutes later, needing air, he looked remarkable hazy-eyed, a flirty smile on his lips as his hands caressed your thighs. “That was… fascinating,” he murmured, making you chuckle.

“It gets better,” you promised, rocking your hips.

His hands gripped you tighter. “(Y/N) I... am more than willing just… not yet.”

Cupping his face, you kissed him with all the care you could muster. “That’s fine.”

“You’re not… upset?”

“No, Vision.” you shook your head. “I care for you, a lot, very deeply. I’m not going to rush you into anything.”

He relaxed muscles you hadn’t realized were so tight. “There is something else.”

You placed a finger on his lips. “I understand.”

He was an android, created to house the consciousness that had been Ultron. While he may be willing, he was not able in the most carnal sense.

“When you’re ready, you need only ask, and I’ll grant you your heart’s desire,” you smiled with your words, for, that was your gift, your quirk of nature. For one hour, you could give people their greatest desire. Once the hour was up, everything returned to the way it once was. They didn’t call you Genie - or in some cases Fairy Godmother - for nothing. And while you could grant the same desire repeatedly, it only ever lasted a single hour.

It made you invaluable on missions. Need to be invisible? Poof! For an hour you could be so. Run out of bullets? Never ending ammo for an hour. It had taken time to train the others to block out their personal desires to be able to get what they needed in that instant, but for Vision, personal desires wouldn’t be a problem. If he wished to be simply able or wished to be fully human, the option was his, but either would be fine for you.

He pulled you closer, eyes full of warm affection. “Thank you,” he whispered before kissing you again.

When you broke apart the second time, a yawn escaped your control, and Vision was lifting you from the couch with ease.

“You need sleep,” he said in the same chastising tone as before, but now it meant something different.

When he settled you on your bed, you reached for his hand. “Stay? I won’t sleep if you go, not after that movie.”

“Is this another custom? My presence, somehow, counteracts the nightmares you may have in regards to the movie?” he asked, already settling to the bed behind you, pulling you into his warm chest.

“Mmm,” you nodded, snuggling back into his big spoon position.

“Very well,” he murmured, nose tucking into your hair where he rubbed it slowly and closed his eyes.

He didn’t sleep in the traditional sense, but he did occasionally power down.

The next morning when Wanda, Nat and Bruce returned early, it was Wanda who came upon your open door and just happened to peek in.

She smiled brightly, happy to see the two of you snuggled up and dreaming after so long of dancing around each other. Before Nat or Bruce could notice, she slipped out and shut the door, unable to contain her grin.

-The End-

[chin-up-love]

From Phlegmatic to Amorousness

Chapter One

Paring: Bucky x Reader (eventually), Platonic! Steve x Reader, hints of Steve x Nat

Word Count: 1,454

Warnings: Angst, Depression

*This is not my GIF and all credit goes to the original owner. I don’t own any of these characters, but it would be so cool if I did.* 

Do you ever wake up and have that moment before everything in your life comes crashing down like a tsunami on you and all you feel is pure serenity? That moment seems to be the only thing that can coax you out of deep sleep. You crave those few seconds before you realize who you are and what you’ve done.

Back in high school, before you were brought to the Avenger’s Tower, you had a English teacher who warned you about those few moments. She told you that once we start living for the next time those few moments come around, and not all that happens in between, you are no longer living.

Feeling lost in a state of subsisting you decide you should take your first step towards that next euphoric moment of peace. Getting out of your covers and slowly maneuvering yourself towards your bathroom you wonder when you became so numb. You slowly piece together the strength to put on another facade of happiness to get yourself ready for the day.

Once ready you head out and decide to stop for some breakfast before going to the gym. With each heavy footstep you treasure the time you don't have to pretend to be okay. As you round the corner to the kitchen you feel the corners of your mouth creep upwards into a smile. Your acting skills seem to be good as ever because you receive nothing more than nonchalant nods and hello’s from your teammates.Grabbing an apple from the fruit basket left on the counter you decide to sit for a little while.

Listening into the conversation and trying to deduce the topic so you can join in you subtly try to lean in. Finally figuring out it was about the man that Steve was bringing back from T’challa’s home you decided it was safe to add your two cents into the conversation.

“So any news on when Cap is arriving home?”

Nat was the first to respond. “He’s actually getting back today. Speaking of which I was supposed to relay some of Steve’s ‘ground rules’ about Sergeant Barnes to everyone before they got here.” Too anyone else this might seem normal, but Steve normally always texts you first. This leads you to wondered when Nat and Steve had gotten so close. It seems like you miss a lot when you’re preoccupied with not letting anyone in too close.

“When we meet Barnes it’s probably best we don’t do anything that might startle him or make him uncomfortable. Obviously our goal is to make this transition as easy as possible for him.” Everyone seemed to agree with the littering of soft noddings. “Okay well we should treat today as any other. Get to training.”

Heeding Nat’s advice you head down to the gym and start warming up. As you stretch out more and more of your team makes it’s way down to join you. Last night had been a rough one seeing as every time you closed your eyes you were kick started awake by a nightmare. Wanting to get all of your bottled up frustration out you move to the punching bag and put your earphones in.

Your fists assault the bag in time to the rhythm of your music. Each time your fist connects you feel a soft sting in your wrists and knuckles. You don’t notice how the gym suddenly becomes quiet around you as Steve walks in with the newest Avenger in tow. It isn’t until Steve gives you a soft nudge in the back that you realize he’s returned.

You remove your earphones and nearly launch yourself at him. Giving the best bone crushing hug you could muster. You peek over his broad shoulder at a man who must be Sergeant Barnes, His blue eyes enrapture you in a utter feeling of ice.

The feeling to anyone else might be unwelcome, but for you it was exhilarating. Any chance you got to feel something else other than numb you took. Finally breaking eye contact with the new man you return your attention to Steve.

“Good to see you managed to make your way back in one piece.” You softly nudge his shoulder but keeping a close proximity to his body.

“It was hard making it out there without my best girl by my side,” A genuine blush crossed your face at his choice of wording.

“Oh Stevie you’re gonna give Sergeant Barnes here the wrong idea about us!” Steve’s lips shaped into his earth shattering grin that would leave any girl with butterflies.

“Don’t worry Doll. I’ve told Bucky a lot about you. He knows you’re just my friend.” Turning yourself towards Barnes you muster up your best smile.

“Well I hope you told him only good things.” You slowly extend your right hand out for him to shake. “It’s a pleasure to finally put a face to all the stories. My name is (Y/N).”

He slowly reciprocated the gesture with a small and shy smile. “Nice to meet you. Call me Bucky.” He turned towards everyone. Making it known that’s what he prefered to go by.

“Sure thing. Um Steve. Once you finish getting Bucky acquainted can you meet me in my room?” A wave of nervousness washed over your skin as you awaited his answer. HIs eyes quickly darted to Nat’s and then back to you. So fast you nearly missed it.

“Uh yeah sure doll. I’ll have Jarvis tell you when I’m ready.” With a tight smile to Steve and a gentle nod to Bucky you returned to your work out.

Once you finished your daily workout routine you decide to take another shower. Hoping to give yourself down time to reassemble your breaking mask of happiness you head back to your private corridors.

You shower and get dressed in lounging clothes and try to get some shut eye. To no avail can you shake the horrid images of past missions so you settle with blankly staring at the ceiling.

It was 11:23 P.M. when Steve finally showed up.  As he walked in you barely stirred passed a small hand motion of acknowledgement.

“Hey Stevie. Did Bucky seem to settle in okay for his first day?” Through your thick eye lashes you drank in the image of a fairly disheveled Steve. He was with Natasha. I can smell her perfume from here.

“Uh yeah. He seemed to be doing okay. All things considering.” He looked nervous. His eyes seemed to avoid yours at all cost. Why was he hiding his relationship with Nat? Perhaps more importantly.. Why did he feel guilty? He is worried about how you would respond. Probably thinks you’re to unstable without his constant attention.

Motioning for him to come join you in your swarm of blankets you scoot over to provide him room. You slowly reach for his fingers and begin to play with them. Leaning your head against his arm you sigh softly. Since coming to the tower Steve had become like an older brother to you.

“I missed you Steve.” He shuffled so his arm engulfs your small body.

“I know kid. I missed you too.” He seemed to trail off and carefully evaluate his next words. “How did you sleep while I was  gone?” Now here ladies and gentlemen is where you test your acting skills.

“I slept like a log. Probably the best sleep I’ve gotten in years.” He seemed to buy it. “I just wanted to say goodnight personally.”

You paused because you weren’t sure if what you say next would let him know you’re onto his and Black Widows relationship. “You know if you ever need me I'll be there in a heartbeat right?”

As he nods you start gently nudging him out of your bed and you follow him to your door.

“Sweet dreams cap.”

“Sweet dreams (Y/N).”

Trying to not show your sudden need to be alone you slowly closed your door behind him. You had a lot to think about. Contemplating when you became such a hindrance to Steve social life you start to trudge back to bed. It has gotten to the point where even beloved Steve lies to your face.

Over the past year you have slowly began to enclose your safety borders to your room. The only time you felt safe was when you were in Steve's arms. Now it feels like your borders are getting smaller again. Soon you fear you may suffocate on your self made course of isolation. With these thoughts in mind you get pulled into a deep sleep. You made it to the next moment but you fear how long you have before the nightmares start.

I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter. I’m always up for constructive criticism! The next chapter is almost ready, so it should be out in a couple of days. Below are people who showed interest. Notify me if you want to be added or removed.

Tag List:

@i-had-a-life-once @this-kitty-has-claws @obscurilicious @theonlyonelives @boyzines @myrabbitholetoneverland

[todokori-kun]

(Ok, so I wrote out this super-long message but wifi died when I was submitting it. Tumblr told me I’d lost connection so I’m pretty sure it didn’t reach you.

If it somehow did, though…sorry for sending in another one OTL And sorry this keeps happening, my computer is being really weird ^^;;)

Tysm ;-; I’m glad I’m not annoying you or anything :D Queen Luna is honestly one of my favorite people to talk to as well, though. Thanks for being so amazing and supportive <3

Yep. Ishida’s Back.

I’m honestly not too sure how I feel about this pregnancy though. On one hand, since I never really cared too much about Touka I don’t think I’m going to have a hard time caring for this kid, even if they ARE also Kaneki’s child. I also think this wasn’t really necessary and I don’t want drama between Touken and other ghouls over the child- I want the plot to move forward and to get some questions answered…

However, it is really interesting how this parallels with other parents throughout TG’s story. Touken right now reflects the Yoshimura-Ukina-Eto dynamic, and I’m pretty sure the Touken child is meant to connect to Eto.

See, what I’m thinking about is that TG’s parents have a history of abandoning their children in favor of their ideals, even if they don’t always mean to do so. We have Mado, who was blinded by his black-and-white worldview and ended up dead, Arata, who sacrificed so much for his children that in the end he couldn’t even stay with them, Yoshimura, who left his daughter behind to create Anteiku (no matter if he meant well, it still affected Eto in a negative way and Yoshimura’s actions could be seen as partially selfish; he never considered how Eto would feel about this situation, after all), Kaneki’s mother, who was unable to choose between her child and her sister, and Kaneki himself could also count, having completely abandoned the Qs the moment Arima and Eto gave him the title of ‘One-eyed King’.

The only non-background-character who was actually a good parent is Shachi, I think.

So the question is: will Touken (Kaneki really, Touka seems to have made up her mind completely about this) be able to break this cycle? Will Kaneki choose his child like he wanted his mother to choose him over his aunt? Or will this child become motivation for him? (he’s never been the best candidate for the OEK after all, and he basically admitted to Amon and Seidou that he’s seriously depressed and just doesn’t care)

I’m also curious: pregnancies take a few months, y'know. I sincerely hope there won’t be a time skip. Or a miscarriage, because not only would that be too much for Kaneki and Touka, it would also be bad for the plot (why make Touka pregnant in the first place then?). Maybe the baby will be born in an epilogue or the last chapter. Maybe Kaneki and Touka will die, this kid will become the new OEK and Ishida will make a third TG series. Idk.

Wow, I didn’t intend to make such a long rant ^^;;

I think Thor’s new hairstyle looks cool (sorry Queen Luna) but yeah, it does also look a bit weird on him. Like, now I can’t look at him and think 'oh that’s the god of thunder’, I just think of Chris Hemsworth lol

That typo tho 'Nat and Clit’

Even after all that’s happened in canon, I still feel like Blackhawk have a deep bond and understand each other in a way the rest of the team can’t.

I feel like the fact that Sharon is Peggy’s niece alone makes it a 'NO’ ship XD the lack of development for both the relationship and Sharon as a character just added to that.

As for Loki…ah, well. If he wasn't such a jerk he wouldn’t be Loki.

Oh that sounds really cool :D And well, like I said above. It’s Loki. What can you do.

Haha, thanks ^^ I was obsessed with Bucky’s costume for a while after Winter Soldier. I literally had never heard of Captain America up until then so I didn’t even care about him (sorry Steve…do you still ship me with him? lol). I might actually have had a crush on Bucky at the time. Idk. I was nine(?).

I will drag you into Remember This Cold hell no matter what. It is my MISSION. I WILL make you have feels about Loki’s kitty (Steve got him a cat because he thought he might be lonely). I WILL make you sob over Loki’s redemption arc and his reaction when anyone dares to lay a finger on Steve (SPOILER: when he thinks Steve is dead he teams up with Bucky and absolutely destroys Hydra. When he and Steve are captured and tortured for information he threatens to cut open his own veins and summon a beast with the blood to destroy them all…he’s completely serious about that. One of the major things Steve has to help him with is how he gets desperate and suicidal whenever he thinks he might lose Steve).

Oh, so you won’t talk about Kanae, huh?

With my short existence, I can make a difference- I can be there for him, I can be his knight

Imagine this is Matsumae teaching Kanae about kagune usage and what it means to be a servant of the Tsukiyama family. For bonus angst, imagine that the slip-ups ('do it for her- that is to say, you do it for him’) are Matsumae talking about the late Mrs. Tsukiyama (HC that Matsumae was around when Shuu’s mom was alive, though I guess that’s unlikely considering her age…shush. Just ignore it for the angst.)

Kanae singing the 'I love you’ part from If I Could Tell Her as they fall off the building

Kanae singing 'But what you do when there’s this great divide? And what do you do when the distance is too wide?’ when Shuu is ill

 'I wondered how you learned to dance like all the rest of the world isn’t there’ and 'There’s nothing like your smile, sort of subtle and perfect and real. You never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel’ as they remember their memories with Shuu as a child.

'I love him, but every day I’m learning- all my life, I’ve only been pretending’ from On my Own when Eto is torturing Kanae

And then most of 'It’s Over, Isn’t It’ is from Kanae to Sasaki/Kaneki, of course, but then imagine that the chorus ('And she chose you, and she loved you, and she’s gone- it’s over, isn’t it? Why can’t I move on?’) is like a duet between Kanae and Shuu. Kanae’s pining over Shuu, of course, but Shuu’s POV is after Kanae’s death (referring to himself as 'you’).

Hope you liked this :)

But wait, if you knew all of Urie’s songs, that means you know Still Sane…does this mean you’re a Lorde fan? Because I thought Still Sane was one of her lesser-known songs. I’m obsessed with Lorde’s music, so…

And I’m also a fan of Fall out Boy and Marina and the Diamonds. It'd be cool if you listen to them as well :D

Seriously?! Because blue is my favorite color…wow!

I haven’t watched FMA but I know quite a bit about it (the Roy rain jokes are the best lol)…we actually talked on your FMA blog once ^^ And I’m excited to hear about any of Queen Luna’s OCs! I’m sure they’re all amazing :D (hahaha, I can relate about embarrassing old OCs. I can’t think of any right now but I know I have some). I’ll send you a little info about my OCs in a seperate submission, since this one seems to be getting a little long (though I can’t be sure) ^^;;

Oh, all four of those are lovely! I feel like the girl with the yellow hat (top row, left) has the most icon-ish look, if that makes sense? She also reminds of Queen Luna a little bit, idk why XD but that’s just my opinion, all four of those characters would make beautiful icons <3

Yep, your internet did die ^^;; This is the only thing I got from you... So no worries about spamming me ^^

Aww *hugs* I love talking to you a lot, a lot! So if you ever need anything, I’m here ^^ (I’d add gifs, but internet is slow).

The pregnancy is as out of place as that chapter (once again avoiding pervy words hahah). But... if Kaneki’s a ghoul (halfway) and Touka is a full ghoul, why does the baby need human food? I’m gonna assume Kaneki is the dad because I don’t want to think about the other options. 

I, too, think that the ghoul eating human food/human eating ghoul food for the baby to survive is a parallel for Eto, but we all know how that ended, so idk how i feel about it. Maybe the baby will be a cute and healthy kid who’ll live a nice childhood? Hopefully? Pls let me hope. 

Maybe Eto’ll adopt the baby since she knows the feeling of being abandoned and will give it a nice, happy childhood? HOPEFULLY???

Honestly, I don’t remember who Shachi is, so...

*gasp* you wound me... How could you like that hideousness that is the hair (or lack of it). Jk, you’re free to like what you want ^^ I mean, it’s not that bad I guess... I just liked the old version a bit more.  A lot more.

So much for avoiding risqué words.

I think their bond is mostly platonic? I mean, if Clint wasn’t married and didn’t have tons of babies, I’d assume there was more, but this way, I’d like to think it’s more of a brother-sister relationship. Why am I getting Love, Rosie flashbacks ;-;

Don’t tell me Sharon’s another Jane, this time with even less character -.-

I guess I’ll just avoid Civil War as long as possible :))

AS FOR KANAE

That’s my feeling about everything.

Well, my music taste isn’t quite definable by ‘likes this artist’ or anything, because it’s mostly a ‘I’m browsing youtube and I like this song, so i’ll download it’ one. So Still Sane just happens to be there. As for Fallout Boy and Marina, I do have quite a lot of their songs there ^^ But, generally speaking, most of my songs that aren’t idol songs ?uncomfortable cough* tend to go in the rock direction. Sometimes remixes and sometimes songs no one ever heard about, like Texas by Magic Man or Change My Life from Ashes Remain. Also, Holy by Zolita, although I mostly like that song because it’s so different from most songs nowadays. It’s a bit weird, though.

I really, really want to see all your OCs, especially the TG one that suffers a lot :))

Oh god, here’s my most embarrassing one, the FMA one:

Kk, her name’s Arya, she’s an alchemist (of course) and depending on how I felt at the moment, she was either shipped with Roy or Ed. Most of the time, it was Roy, so the info I wrote down was based on that. Is the cliche ‘sarcastic, but actually a huge softie’ character with right about 0 character flaws, other than being stubborn (’But it also helps when she’s suspicious about the homonculi!’). Now, this isn’t so bad. But here’s the best part. She has a stepdad (bc no oc can have a normal, fully functioning family) that tried to ‘merge her with a wolf, giving her enhanced senses and strength and making her hair white + eyes purple’. I still cringe when I think about her. Literal nightmares.

Then we have a soul eater one, where the girl is both a meister and a weapon (which is, by the way, impossible by the laws of that universe, since the souls of the two types differ greatly) AND a witch to top it off.

Thankfully, I never went too far with the looks, the white hair + purple eyes was as far as I went, but I knew to change it to normal (or try to make an excuse *coughwolfcough* if the universe was one where the colours were mostly normal. And I never gave them DDD+ boobies. 

As for the newer ones, I don’t have many, but from the fandoms we share, I have 1 for YoI and 1 for MCU (this one was created yesterday :P )

The YoI one’s name is Nara and she’s a skater from Detroit, therefore Yuuri and Phichit’s rinkmate. Honestly, she’s not that talented at skating, but she does try to make up for it by practicing a lot.  However, she doesn’t magically get better and lands 1st place, she’s content doing her best and just participating in the competitions, since she has a secondary job.

The MCU one’s a bit more mary sueish, but that’s what makes it fun. Kya, her power is ‘manipulating’ animals (well, not manipulating, it’s more along the lines of ‘animals like her and listen to her) and in extreme cases (when she gets very emotional), human manipulation (technically, humans are animals). When she was small, she was experimented on, granting her the powers. However, the faculty was attacked, allowing her to escape. She tried to live a normal life and was actually succeeding, but then Loki attacked New York and lo and behold, she actually managed to do some hero work, so the avengers were like ‘we’re not recruiting you, but you could be useful in the future so we’ll keep an eye on you’. That’s as far as I got, but I do plan on expanding a bit.  Also, probably predictable, but Loki is her love interest ^^;;;;;;

Alrighty, seems like that’ll be my icon ^^ I’ll probably change the general colour scheme of the blog, so don’t be surprised if everything’s different the next time you visit :P  The name definitely stays the same, though.

As for the ‘she reminds you of me’, you couldn’t be more right ^^;;; In the whole Love Live series, she’s the most similar to me looks wise, but also personality wise. A quiet bookworm who’s fine staying in the library whole day hahah I always cry during her character arc, because I relate waaay too much ;-;

Also, completely random, but I’m listening to ‘Merry Go Round of Life’ from Howl’s Moving Castle as I write this and it would actually make a pretty nice waltz song...