#naruto and sasuke do have kind of a matching cloak thing going now???

[sasukedefender]

off anon to send image but like. look. this is so fuck uglyyy they really tried in the anime they did but its just so fuckimg bland

it is truly the laziest thing they could have possibly come up with. i've seen middle schoolers with naruto ocs that look cooler than whatever this is.

[lavendersmiles]

A Celebration of Our Own

SasuSaku Month 2018

Day 7: Tanabata

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Author’s Note: So I originally planned a hurt/comfort plot for this prompt after squeezing my brain but I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life 😂 Then this idea appeared and... yeah... I crave fluff.

FFnet link

***

Sakura felt torn, but her responsibilities as a medic nin came before her own selfish desires.

Sasuke just came back from his self-imposed road to redemption yesterday, just in time for the tanabata festival Konoha is known for, and Naruto already arranged that Team 7 will go together. Though he insisted that he was just passing by and wanted to deliver a message to Kakashi, his presence in the village was enough to make the kunoichi smile throughout the day. She knew that the streets would be filled to the brim with decorations and food, and most of all she looked forward to spend some time with her silent dark-haired teammate.

It’s been so long since he came home. He wasn’t able to go to Konoha personally during the attack of the human time bombs when they asked for his help, but he played a crucial part in solving it. She was a bit heartbroken that he couldn’t come back, but she understood his reasons. Sakura knew from the bottom of her heart that the village was Sasuke’s home, and he would always find his way to return to it – in his time, when he’s ready.

That’s why she hugged him a little too tightly when they greeted him at the gates yesterday. After a hearty dinner at Ichiraku’s, Sakura dashed her way to her favourite store to buy a new yukata to celebrate the occasion. It was the perfect shade of green that matched her eyes, with her namesake decorating the obi and sleeves.

Sakura started to fix her things in her office, excitement coursing through her veins. Despite the busy day at the hospital, the thought of being with her beloved team energized her more than her seal. But then, just as she was about to end her shift, she heard a nurse running towards her direction, and the door was slammed open.

“Sakura-sama! I’m sorry for intruding but Tsunade-sama needs you at the emergency room quickly!”

Not needing another word, the medic ran off and arrived in record time. What she saw stunned her momentarily. Four shinobi – ANBU, the masks and their outfit were a dead giveaway – were fighting for their lives on the hospital beds. One suddenly started vomiting a bloody mess, and Sakura sprung into action.

“It’s a bad case of poisoning, Sakura. I already had Shizune look at their blood samples to identify the culprit,” the former hokage briefed her on what was happening. “It’s making them bleed profusely, slowly turning their organs to goo, and shutting down the immune system. We need to act fast.”

“Hai, shishou.”

Immediately her healing chakra glowed.

Sakura forgot about the seconds, minutes, and hours that passed. All her focus was on her patients and the determination to save them urged her tired body to heal them more. And when she thought that ordeal was over, her pediatric patient with a broken pelvis started deteriorating, leaving her no choice but to perform another surgery stat.

.

.

Sakura removed the OR cap and went back to her office to take a warm shower. It was already ten in the evening, and she already sent word to Naruto that she couldn’t come to the festival with them, as she was stuck in surgery. She passed by a nurse’s station and saw a bamboo plant decorated with all things that showcased tanabata and filled with tanzaku. She saw he own piece of paper, wincing inside.

I hope Team 7 will have a great time at the festival today!

‘There’s always next year, right?’ Sakura thought to herself, smiling sadly. ‘There’s always next time.’

The kunoichi sighed and proceeded to take the aforementioned shower to wash away the stress and frustration of the day. After changing into a new set of clothes, she grabbed her swivelling chair and took it to the balcony. Her stomach protested that it was empty, but she paid it no mind. She just wants to see the fireworks. She looked up the sky, waiting for it to shine with a thousand colors.

Just then she felt her heart stop when she recognized an all too familiar chakra signature. She could sense him anywhere.

“Sa-Sasuke-kun?!”

Indeed, mismatched orbs that could only belong to the sole Uchiha greeted her. “Aa.”

Sakura stood up, a blush forming on her cheeks. “What are you doing here? I thought you were going with Naruto and the rest.”

He shrugged. “I escaped. Too many people. You know I don’t like the crowds.”

She couldn���t help but laugh good naturedly. “Still the same old Sasuke-kun. Let me get a chair for you,” she offered, dashing inside and appearing with the furniture a second later.

“Arigatou,” his deep voice could still make her heart melt. Both sat side by side in silence for a few moments, until Sasuke handed out a bento box to her hidden by his cloak.

“I had a feeling that you still haven’t eaten anything since you were in surgery, so I brought you something.”

Tears of joy started to form on her eyes and now she was certain that her heart’s gonna burst. “You didn’t have to do this, Sasuke-kun. But thank you so much,” she beamed at him. The former avenger looked away hide his emotions, but his orbs focused on her again when he heard her delighted gasp.

Sakura recognized the street food served at the stalls during tanabata. The first layer contained okonomiyaki, takoyaki, yakisoba and ikayaki. When she lifted it to see the next layer, it was filled with dango, daifuku, and ringo ame.

“I know that you liked festivals and the food so much, so I thought that since you’re busy saving lives, I’ll bring a bit of the festival to you,” he admitted, eyes earnest.

She didn’t know if someone already died due to too much giddiness and overwhelming happiness, but Sakura though she might be the first one. She stood up, placed the food carefully on the chair, and tackled Sasuke into a hug that caused the two of them to fall on the floor.

“Thank you thank you thank you, Sasuke-kun! I’m so happy right now!” Indeed, the night took a 360 degrees turn, and she couldn’t be happier. Here she thought she would be spending the seventh day of the seventh month alone, but now she’s with the man she loves with her whole heart, and he brought her favourite festival foods to her.

‘You’re just making me fall in love with you even more, Sasuke-kun.’

All of a sudden she felt him stiffen. It was then that it registered upon her brain that she said her feelings out loud.

Just as she was about to pull away and apologize again and again, Sasuke hugged her back. Now it was her turn to be shocked.

“Anything for you, Sakura.” He pressed his cheek at the side of her head, and the kunoichi wondered if it was her heart that was beating so hard or his. She loosened her hug on him to look at his profile. Unconsciously, almost like instinct, their faces came closer to one another. It felt like the pull of gravity, sparks tingling the air.

When their noses touched, a screeching sound was heard following a loud explosion. The fireworks finally started. Noticing their position, they both turned away to hide their blushing faces, deciding that the display of colors signalling the end of tanabata was a good thing to turn their attention to. Throughout the time that the night sky was illuminated with sparks of light, Sasuke didn’t release his hold on her waist, and Sakura could hardly pay attention to the beautiful display.

The heard the cheers of the crowd when the last and biggest firework shone its glory. After a few minutes, neither of them spoke a word, too content in each other’s presence.

Then Sakura’s stomach grumbled again.

She felt the blush heating her face up, and the amused smirk Sasuke gave her did nothing to calm her down.

“You should eat,” the Uchiha announced with almost a teasing tone. After saying her thanks, she digged in, closing her eyes in pure happiness when she tasted the takoyaki. Munching on it, she took another ball of the food using her chopsticks.

“Say aah, Sasuke-kun.”

He looked away and she pouted at that, but her heart soared again when she saw his mouth partly open, his silent affirmation to allow her to do what she wanted.

And so that was how the two spent their first tanabata together in a while… eating, her talking, him listening… both knowing that there was no other place they’d rather be.

.

.

[ombreecha]

The Uchiha’s Wife

FF.NET Fandom: Naruto Pairing: SasuSaku Rating: M Summary: She was an otherworldly being of healing. An absolute nymph of spring. He was an otherworldly being of destruction. An absolute god of war. In a world where war makes him death, and chaos she will be the life, and love his people will talk of for years to come. AU x Warring States Period. Missed a Chapter?

Chapter 12 The Answer

The amount of people who linger within the home of her cousin is more than she had imagined. They continue to give their praises, and they continue to give her tender squeezes upon her shoulder in thanks for the call to the spring that would surely come upon them. Her toes sit nestled within the water no longer hot and turned warm with time. The chill of the snow between her toes had been harsher than she had anticipated. Viridian move to gaze behind her looking for her husband sitting against the wall with a book in hand. He knows she is looking to him—it’s that flicker of his gaze that tells her so.

There is a call from the hall announcing Madara’s enter within this home that silences the room. Dragging her feet from the water meant to assist she stands. There is something within those hereditary endless ebony that she cannot place. It does not hold disgust, and it does not hold love. It’s that something in between that has her bare feet bringing her to stand before him. Sasuke has made only the smallest of sounds as he comes to stand beside her discarding his book.

This man holds so much power within her family brought by marriage.

This is a man who sends her husband to war, this is a man who had her plucked from her home, and this is a man who could alter everything with a wave of his hand. His name sends fear deep within the hearts of any who speak. His presence silences those who stand before him. His entire being commands and controls. This is a man who sends her husband to war, this is a man who had her plucked from her home, and this is a man who could alter everything with a wave of his hand.

This moment where she stands before him makes her lungs feel heavy. There’s no telling what he will say, and what he will do. There’s only hope floating upon a sea of fear that she has done nothing to bring shame upon this family, and shame upon her husband.

Hope. She dares to hope that she has pleased him—dares to hope that he looks upon her as those around her have.

Fingers raise from the man and it’s as they find their way to her head and pat upon her pale rose-colored hair that her viridian widen unprepared for the affectionate action. The firm press of his lips tilts gently, “Thank you for bringing a new form of pride to our family.”

Her eyes sting with new tears threatening to fall at the praise he has given her. Those simple words of praise hold no shame. There is no shame upon this family, nor her husband brought by her. There is a pride, and there is recognition. This man has felt pride from her traditions—from the family he has taken within that powerful grasp of his. This man who struck fear into the hearts of millions stands before her with that gentle curve of his lips, and eyes that hold no disgust—and it was caused by her.

Her traditions have done this. Her family has done this. She has done this—she alone has caused him to look at her family in this way.

Their worlds were separated. Yet, in this moment they are one.

This relief he’s brought her cleanses that hope once floating upon a sea of fear. This relief lifts her lungs, and soars her heart. There is no fear before this man so powerful. There is only the wish to show how much her heart feels in this moment.

Voice shaken with his words she speaks with as much heart as she can bare without shedding her tears, “Thank you so much for watching me—”

The voice is loud, and mischievous as it cuts her off, “Sakura-chan, don’t cry over that!” the laughs she lets fall cannot be contained letting the tears fall with the close of her lids.

“Naruto-san, hold your tongue, this is between clans.” the voice of one she has not met properly scolds bringing her to gaze up eyes of crimson, and hair of silver.

Fingers press against her back, and it makes pale rose dust her cheeks, “Sakura. Move so they can come in properly!” her mothers voice calls from across the already filled room.

She’s embarrassed by her lack of manners and following her husband’s lead to move aside she lets them enter fully within the living space. They don’t stay long, and yet she finds her gaze fleeting upon them even with each one giving her their own praise. Their names are but a blur, and their faces equally unable to keep her attention. It’s well after they leave that she takes the time to properly give her feet the healing they need. The festival is far from over tonight, and she would take this opportunity to give her time to her husband. She has been without him for longer than she had ever intended, and while it’s not as long as the war has taken him from her she has no intention of letting this opportunity slip from her grasp.

Her cousin teases her as she helps her within new clothes. Tenten does not give way to harsh words about the man that has killed those she sought to protect in the war. Instead, she gives way to idle curiosity. She gives the smallest of opinions—he might not be as bad as the stories claim.

The smile upon her face blossoms with those words. It produces a soaring heart that her cousin, who she was undeniably close to before her marriage, would say such things. The hanfu she has chosen for tonight is of the same viridian her mother had blessed her with, and a red that warms its surroundings with its color. Her cousin has been kind enough to leave her rose-colored strands mostly down to cover her neck from the cool air. The makeup she wears is light in comparison to the ritual she had performed. The fully painted face exchanged for that of something simpler—red upon her lids, eyes lined in black, and the slightest touch of red adorn her lips.

She’s before him as her mother places the cloak of gray with a fur lined hood upon her shoulders in hopes to keep her warm within their walk throughout the festival. His arms have sought their own warmth within his sleeves, but it does not stop him from giving his arm to her as they make their way out. The scent that he holds—that marks him as him—fills her nose, and has her giving a gentle squeeze upon his arm without thought. The children that run throughout this night circle around them in their play. Each set of eyes that falls to her gives her the gentlest of smiles and a nod. This husband of hers was so very much a man of few words. It’s something she has learned and expected within these almost two years.

Ah. That’s right, their anniversary was coming upon them.

This man of ebony has shifted within their walk. It seems she had let the realization fall from her lips in a hum. That forever firm press of his lips is present. The two years in which she had been bound to this man had been filled with tears. Her constant giving, and his constant taking was within every aspect of it. Yet, there is equally just as many smiles to go with each tear she’s shed.

Those small attempts of his. They lingered within each aspect of her marriage.

There’s another unintended squeeze upon his arm. Their marriage was far from perfect. He was doing all he knew how to do. He was taking the smallest of steps toward her. She could never ask for more. She would never ask for more. He was giving in the smallest of ways, but with the deepest of meanings. His bow to her today would mean more than he could ever imagine. It had given her strength. It had given her the chance to know that he, too, could look upon her with the same pride she did him. The pride he had held for his clan was now also being held for her.

They did not understand each other completely, but in that moment he and her had understood each enough.

There is a knowing look that decorates her face. She had forgiven him, and yet he was still silently, but surly apologizing to her. Little did he seem to realize there was no reason to continue these silent apologies. Soon after he had taken care of her in her shameful state that night she had forgiven him. Well before he had prepared her bath and gazed upon her from the side of the tub uttering words of apology she had forgiven him. Each apology he had ever given her she was answering. Each little thing he did was answered in forgiveness.

She would answer him again. This answer would not be forgiveness. This answer would be her looking to the future as they rebuilt their marriage. There’s hope he’ll hear this answer. There’s hope he will understand her once more.

The match she has acquired as she makes him hold the lantern she has purchased will light with that answer. He’s lowered the lantern so she can dip her hand within it lighting the candle. Her fingers brush his as they lower it to the river that runs within the village. The water is sharp in its chill upon their fingers. It’s as they slowly let it go to join the rest that float brightly upon the water that she looks to him, and he raises those endless ebony to her. Fingers softly take his, and it’s here that she becomes daring. Leaning forward she feels him taken back by her intrusion to his personal space. This reassuring squeeze upon his hand is entirely her, and entirely intended.

Her lips press against his cheek. His breath has become caught within his throat as she pulls back from him, “Happy New Year, Sasuke-kun. May the year bring peace with it.”

His pale complexion has given way to the palest of red upon his cheeks. This look is so incredibly boyish—so unlike the man, who held such lackadaisical attempt etched upon his face like a mask. He’s scowling and has removed his gaze from her, but it’s that squeeze upon her fingers that he now gives back that tells her he has heard her answer.

He has understood her once more.

They continue forward throughout the town as the fireworks shoot off. Her best friend with all her gorgeous blonde locks, and eyes of pale blue shift upon her husband with distaste. She does not let it stop her from pressing fingers upon his arm as they speak. Ino Yamanaka had always been one to tease, and protect her. She had always been one to stand beside her, and while she had not been there to protect her from the Uchiha, nor her father’s death she had made sure to come for her when she walked through the gates of Konohagakure. She had been there to give her congratulations upon hearing that the little girl she had protected in their youth had chosen to dance in the hopes for spring. This woman was an important part of her world, and now it’s with her viridian that she asks silently for her to welcome this man, who was now also an important part of her world.

Lee is no exception as they come across him not far from where they have left Ino. He too gives forth those same looks of distrust. This boy had shouted his love to her within their youth. He trained hard, and he strived to become a shinobi everyone could depend on. His heart was made of gold. She had never returned his feelings, but she did not belittle them either. She loved him in a way so different from his own. She loved him as a friend, and she loved him as a brother. He was forever tied to her by those labels, and so it’s with her gaze steady that she shares a tender smile his way with fingers giving him his own reassuring squeeze upon his arm. He does not need to worry over her with so much heart. Someone else would love him far more than she could. The man who stays silent behind her may be his enemy, but he is her husband, and he should give his trust in him. It won’t be today, but one day it will happen.

She is sure of that.

The hate those who love her feel towards her husband is reasonable. She, too, had once held such a look upon this man. He has killed many, and he fights against them even in the cease fire that comes with her traditions. Their distaste, their disgust, and their loathing of him would not vanish just because she stood beside him. It would take much more than that to make them accept him. There’s time to build those foundations though. There’s time for them to gain trust in his protection of her. There’s time for them to see the man he is behind the legend. There would be a moment in time for all of that.

Viridian find those of honey. It’s what makes her stop within her steps making her husband turn to her. Her mouth is parted, and it’s without thinking that she releases his arm to run forward. Her heart is loud as she stops before the woman of golden locks. Those honey-colored eyes have widened and her mouth has parted. It does not stop her from wrapping her arms around the woman. The woman has spoken her name in adoration as she returns the embrace with a squeeze before pulling apart.

“I didn’t think I’d get to see you before you left.” the woman’s fingers grasp her hood bringing it down to her shoulders.

“I’m sorry I did not come when you arrived in the village.” this woman was yet another who would surly hold disdain for her husband, and even with knowing that she steps back from her turning to introduce her husband, who has followed within his own pace, “Please, meet my husband.”

The honey and the endless ebony have met. There is a scowl deepening upon this woman’s face. It’s with the deepest of inhales that she cuts through the silence, “Sasuke-kun, this is Tsunade-shishou. She is the one who taught me all that I know.”

Her husband is as stoic as ever, but she knows that this woman has captured some form of interest when he does not bring his eyes to her. There’s a moment where she sees him part his mouth, and then the tightening of his jaw occurs showing him swallowing whatever he had intended to say. Ebony fall from the woman to gaze upon the ground fleetingly before coming back. He steps forward, and then gives a subtle nod of his head, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

There’s that silent apology he gives. He’s giving it again. He knows this woman holds venom within her at the sight of him, and even now he washes it off. He knows this woman is important to her. He knows that she is adored by this woman. He is taking that small step forward, and that is what matters most.

It’s as not until they are giving farewells that his voice, smooth and deep, cuts through the air, “Thank you.”

The spring wife cannot stop her head from whipping to him in that gratitude. The blink that follows through is equally involuntary. It makes her drag her viridian from him to see the look that decorates the golden haired woman. Those honey-colored eyes of hers do not understand the gratitude.

She understands it though. He is thanking her for the time in which this woman had taught her, and he is thanking her for the time in which she had become important to her. The smile that blossoms from this gives forth the deepest of bliss.

They understand so little of each other, but it’s in this moment that they understand each other completely, and that is what matters most of all.

She is sure of that.

The gates are within the distance. They are finally within reach of their home. The travel was long, and the travel was exhausting. Her husband saw no need for breaks, and only with the slightest look would he finally give in. Just beyond those gates stood a place that she called home.

She had missed her home. She had missed her people.

Just beneath this cloak of cream sat the emblem of her clan. It had not had the chance to sit upon her back within her traditions. It’s within this deep blue cheongsam that she is able to display it once more.

The people that greet them beyond the gates do so with their smiles deep within their eyes. There are those who come before her as they walk through telling her of how beautiful her performance had been, and others that come to personally greet her husband’s return. It’s late within the day as dusk is settling over the horizon giving the sky those beautiful deep colors of purple, and peach, and even still the children flock to him. There are the few who pull upon her cheongsam making her kneel to drag her fingers within their locks playfully. He has picked one up—it’s Hikaku’s. He’s scolding them gently for being out late, and to return home. Not once does he release Hikaku’s child.

He brings Hikaku’s child back within his mother’s arms just a little ways from the doors that seek to greet them. The air still holds its chill, but it has lessened within the days after the new year. Snow still crunches beneath their shoes, and yet it is far less in supply.

The maids are there at the door way. They give a unified welcome home that rings within the air. She had heard many times that home was where the heart was, and it’s as they make their way within the bedroom and she’s left her bag to the left of the sliding doors that she decides they’re not wrong. These people had captured her heart just as her husband has. They intended to keep it locked here.

She welcomes that. She hopes for that.

Their sleeping attire has found its place upon their shoulders. They stand within the kitchen as she brews leaves for tea meant to help them sleep. The silence is comforting as she grabs forth cups. There are no glances his way as he cuts a single apple. They’ve fallen into place so effortlessly.

His fingers press upon her back as he brings the plate of apple slices to sit beside the awaiting cups. There is no need for words. Her fingers grab upon the cinnamon within the cupboard above her and give it a gentle shake upon the freshly cut fruit.

The warmth from the kettle radiates from it providing another form of comfort. She opens her mouth as her husband brings a single slice to her mouth. Biting down she lets the taste flood her tongue. He brings the half eaten slice to his own mouth swallowing it whole.

They bring their snack, and tea with them sitting upon the futon. The silence is not loud, nor is it deafening. It is the proof of their falling into place. She’s blowing upon his cup of tea meant to help with his sleep, and aches from travel. They had not shared much in conversation upon the road home. He longed for home just as much as she had. She had followed him with no desire to slow him down.

Home was truly where the heart was.

It’s as she cradles his cup out to him that she whispers within the quiet of their home, “This should help with any fatigue, and provide good sleep.”

“Ah.” he is gentle in taking the warm cup within his own fingers.

They sip upon their tea, and their fingers brush against each others as they take from the small plate of apple slices before he whispers within the silence, “Do all in your family have that enhanced strength?”

Her lips curve upon the rim of her cup taking in the warm liquid before answering his curiosity, “Chakra enhanced strength is something I learned from Tsunade-shishou, and isn’t something taught by family.”

“So, your dance was different from those in previous years?”

“You could say that. The movements were the same but the desperation, and force behind them was all my own. . . I wanted him to feel me wherever he may linger.”

His fingers stop within their motion to bring his cup to his lips as ebony look to her. It makes her bring her eyes to him as she feels the gravity of his gaze upon her, “Your father felt you. Whatever desperation you held he heard it. He stood among us to watch you.” his closeness comes with his words, and his forehead has pressed against her own, “We all felt you pleading for the spring on our behalf.”

Fingers tighten briefly upon the cup she holds upon her lap. There is no escaping the earthly aroma that comes from him so close to her and the pride that flows within his words, “Thank you.”

Viridian open slowly at the feel of his fingers within her locks that swim untamed, “What was Kizashi-san like?”

“Hm, to describe such an ornery man—he was like the warmth you feel from the early morning sun. He always smiled—not one of those small gentle ones—they were loud, and bright and it was so hard to be angry with someone who just brightened the room in the way he did.” she dares with the slowest of movements to let her fingers wander upon his mouth, “He is the kindest soul I have ever known. He loved and gave with no desire to receive anything back. No mistaking it, though, he had the worst jokes. Ah, he would have teased you endlessly for frowning so much.” the smallest of light laughs fall as her fingers curl under his chin to allow her thumb to rub against his pale cheek.

His eyes close before her and she takes that as his recognition of what she has said. It’s only a moment of time—seconds if she were being honest—before his voice low and soothing finally comes to her ears.

“Innocence, simplicity, and the nature of life.” She cannot stop the low and fatigued noise of confusion from coming from her mouth, “In my culture, that is what your name stands for. What had made them call you that?”

He’s spinning the smallest of strands upon his fingers. There is affection with each slow turn of his fingers to wrap them deeper within her rose-colored locks. She holds no hesitation in answering his innocent curiosity, “My name is brought by two cultures. It carries my mama’s culture with the meaning of power, feminine beauty, and sexuality, but looks and is spoken as the word brought about by my papa, and your culture.”

“It is the joining of two people.” his voice is low within her ears as their noses meet, “A union.”

The tire that has settled upon her does not stop her lips from curving into a smile at the gentle notion he is making of her parents, “A marriage.”

Roughened finger tips that still wrap within her pale locks brush against her cheek. This moment is entirely intimate. She welcomes it reveling within the aroma of her husband and their tea. It’s all calming, and warming her skin. There’s no missing the deep inhale he takes with how close they are. He looks soothed, and pleased. It’s not decorating his face openly, but there’s no missing it within the slightly parted mouth he has given into, and the close lids that hide his endless ebony.

Pleased—it is what she feels heavy upon her chest in witnessing such a thing.

“Sasuke-kun.” she muses quietly between them, “You need rest.”

There’s a knowing in his reluctance to pull from her as he goes back to sipping his tea. It’s that reluctance that makes her press her hand to his leg covered by the comforter upon them. Only the sounds of their sipping lingers within the room, and then as he takes her empty cup within his fingers and places it with the empty plate upon the tray beside him do they nestle deeper within their comfort of their futon.

Her fingers grasp his hand underneath the warmth of the comforter. They give way to soothing circles upon his calloused knuckles. It’s his voice tonight that gives her peace from her exhaustion, “You said you felt desperate—you’re not alone. I’ll make you believe you’re not alone.”

She can only wonder if the exhaustion has made his lips loose to say such a thing, “You’re so unbelievably kind.”

There’s a shift of his head upon the pillow as if to tell her she is wrong, “I will protect you.”

Their lids dip closed as they fall within their fatigue.

The only lingering thought she has is that she’ll cherish her name more than she had in the days before. Her husband had given a new meaning to her name. He had felt it showed the joining of her mother, and her father. That was something she had never thought deeply of, and he in that way that was entirely him, had decided.

There is certainty that he is right. She could not ask for more than what she has received. She had truly gained so much within their own marriage.

He was teaching her, and she was teaching him. They were growing together, and they were learning together.

He is not forced to leave her side immediately at the end of the cease fire and their return home. The village has made sure to keep them busy with his stay. She has set to take care of the villages finances, and he has set to take care of lingering trade issues for today. They speak informally as they had begun to before she had left his side in those weeks. They gaze upon each other no longer as strangers as they cross paths in taking care of all that they had left when they spent their time within Konohagakure.

There is no doubt that her hands are full as she goes through the books detailing all that they have spent within the year. Her handmaid is there to assist with such matters. He, though, is deep within the market discussing the issues that have caused a low supply of certain items.

The war had made things dangerous for those seeking to refill their stock.

There’s a nod of his head in understanding their frustrations. He knows this will not be an easy fix, and will be one that takes time while he leaves them for the frontlines. It only proves how much more he will have to do throughout this year. They do not blame him, and they give way to apologies for burdening him when they know he does all that he can to keep them safe from the Senju, and Uzumaki.

The most he can provide them is his own gratitude, and wishes to meet with them again once a better solution becomes more approachable. He instructs them to write up their routes, and where the most trouble seems to be. He will employ those he can to help bring in the supply as long as it does not harm their chances in battle.

It’s as he leaves that he takes in the white that falls lightly upon them. While his otherworldly wife had called for spring it still feels as though the spring will not grace them with it’s presence for weeks to come.

The smell of the food within the market only sets to make him wonder if she is still deep within the financial books back in their home. He remembers his wonder upon if she liked sweet things—she had liked her tea sweet he had learned that day, and the days to come. Sweet truly did fit the woman of pale rose-colored strands. He lingers within the stands eyeing that which fills his nose—would she like mochi, or maybe mitarashi dango? Perhaps daifuku?

“Get the mitarashi.”

Ebony widen finding themselves upon Hikaku’s wife. She holds the hand of her child so fond of him, and he cannot help but wonder how long she has watched him as he lingered upon what it is that his wife may like.

She can only give him the smallest of smiles, “She typically gets them when we get lunch together at the tea shop. She has quite the love for them, especially during hanami.”

There’s a tint of embarrassment upon him, and he questions if the heat he feels upon his cheeks is from the winter chill, or the woman giving way to things he had not known. This woman had spent far more time with his wife than he had—he has no reason to think she is wrong. They had become close while he was out to battle. They had held so much heart in the previous year during hatsumode.

He buys what she has told him to, and it’s as he carries her child upon his arm, and the bought dumplings within a bag in his other that they walk towards his home.

“You’re changing. Slowly.” there’s amusement in her voice.

His ebony keep themselves upon the road ahead, “I am the same as always.”

“There is a gentleness there that has not been there in a long time.” she has turned her gaze to him, “Would it be so wrong to change?”

That is what makes him stop within his walk to finally gaze upon this woman, who too had suffered loss not so long ago, “There is no room for such a thing in war.”

“There is always room for it. At first, I did not know how to handle your wife, but she quickly found her way to all of us. She had come for me when I needed someone most. She brings a calm with her that seems so foreign in times of war.” the mother weaves her fingers through her child’s hair, “I am forever in her debt for being the one to give me a shoulder to lean on when he had passed. I do not know if I could have picked myself up without her hand holding mine.”

It’s as she speaks that he feels the loss of her husband upon him just as harsh as it had been when he watched him fall in battle, “Your family has given us more than enough.”

“Don’t feel such pain in his absence. He fought beside you with pride—every single time. He gave himself to your service because he wanted nothing more. My husband cherished all of it.” it’s here that she takes her child from him with a warmth he knows he has felt with his mother, “There is a strength in all that she does. She has not come for just me. When you are gone she goes to others to give them the same hand she used to hold mine. We, Uchiha, love far deeper than anyone else. She may be one of marriage but she is no exception.”

“. . .I only seek to keep her safe.” he is hesitant within his reply—he does not know where this hesitation comes from.

“Is that not where love begins? The desire to keep one safely protected?” there is the softest of laughs that fall from her, “I do not know what has happened, nor do I know what it is you truly feel for her—only you can answer such things. There is admiration for her though. There is a greater care for her. That is plain for all to see.”

He can only swallow thickly as she give her farewells. He had been unable to give her a reply to what she had said—he finds himself unable to deny all that she has spoken. He does not know if he would call this love. He had not lied when he said he had sought to keep her safe. This woman, although only older than him by few years, seemed wise in all that she spoke. She had spoken with clarity, and she had spoken as if she, too, had been in these moments of uncertainty once upon a time.

These feelings were so foreign—just as foreign as the unearthly spring nymph that was his wife. Ebony glance upon the bag within his hand. She was a stubborn and proud woman—she was slowly regaining all that she was. He had needed her back, and he would continue to do what he could to help her regain that. She was still ethereal, otherworldly, and a nymph of spring—he still cannot see her as anything else even as they approach their second anniversary. She contrasted so much when she stood beside him—he would have it no other way. She smiled with such warmth from the bottom of her heart—he had begun to long for those looks.

The widow had spoke of how they had not known how to handle her. He, too, had not known, and was only now beginning to understand this spring nymph. The admiration she spoke of was true. He felt a pride with her beside him. He held her to new heights. He could only be thankful for those who treasured her in such adoration—was there any who did not?

His walk home is one filled with more of the same thoughts. The maids give their welcome, and he gives a nod as he passes them through the halls, and it is as he comes to find her deep within the stacks of books she is set to look over that he can only decide that the widow is right—perhaps this was the beginning of such things.

She seemed to not hear him within the door way. Those fingers of hers are deep within the rose-color strands as her other hand scribbles upon a book in front of her. She is within the warmth of the kotatsu, and it’s only as he comes around her to sit before her that she looks up.

“Ah, I’m sorry Sasuke-kun, welcome home. Let me—”

“Here.” he slides the bag before her making those viridian gaze with curiosity.

Her fingers take the bag within her hand and it is as she looks within it that her mouth parts just slightly, “How did you—”

“You like them, don’t you?” he cannot look at her, and yet he desires to see what expression decorates those features of hers.

“I do.” the warmth that he knows comes from deep within her is coating those words.

He cannot contain the ghosting smirk that is upon the corners of his lips in feeling that warmth. He feels that same heat upon his cheeks that he had when the widow had told him what it is she had liked. There is the most pleasing of sounds that comes from her that finally make him drag his gaze to her. This is a look he has not seen before as she eats one of the dumplings from the skewer. The look is that of a child—it is innocent, and holds strong satisfaction.

His fingers slide the book that she had been scribbling in as he had entered towards himself. She has gotten much of it done—far more than he would have within the hours she’s been at it.

“Sasuke-kun, would you like some?” viridian hold mirth within them as she holds out the bag for him to take one as well.

He gives a shake of his head with the smirk deepening as he sets his gaze back upon the book flipping through it’s pages. She is organized, and detailed within the pages she’s filled out. He finds he would have expected no less. She had shown her intelligence before, and this only serves to prove it once more. There’s a neatness to everything she does. She has never been one, he realizes, to leave her things in a mess. He cannot recall a time within his marriage when he had ever seen her do such a thing.

This is another thing he has learned—it was another thing he had overlooked.

Her handmaid is quick to bring tea to them both. The green liquid is hot and soothing to the tongue as they set about working. She flips through another book as his eyes look over one he too has pulled from the stacks. His eyes dance upon her with every nibble she takes of the mitarashi dangos. She is one to eat with her mouth closed. She sips softly from her tea. It’s all simple and it’s all ordinary, and yet he feels as though she eats far too proper. She bites her lip when she is in concentration, and her fingers glide upon pages as if everything she touches is sacred. Those pale rose-colored brows pinch together within her concentration, and the glow of her viridian are calculating as she adds the numbers in front of her together.

They had broken through the stare of strangers, and they had broken through conversation laced in formality. Yet, he does not know where her ideals lay. Does she truly support him, and those that follow his leader? The difference in their ideologies seemed so small, but he cannot stop himself from laying the brush within the ink to sit as he takes her in. What is it that she felt with this war?

“Sakura.”

Those concentrated brows of hers, and that lip she had bit into lessen immediately with his voice. He finds subtle enjoyment at her constant change in expression with just his voice. Viridian hold that same curiosity they had when he had slid the bag of dango before her.

“Yes, Sasuke-kun?”

“What do you want in this war?” ebony watch every fall of those thick lashes within her confusion. There’s a shift of her mouth as if she is contemplating what he has asked her.

“I want what everyone wants—peace.” her fingers lay her own brush within the bottle of ink as she gazes into his ebony.

“You do not agree with our methods.” he speaks low as his gaze falls from her for only the briefest of moments, “You believe in peace brought by love.”

Her fingers slide from the table to her lap as she gives a nod, “I do. That is why I support you and all that you do.” her words have made his ebony fall upon her again.

“You support me?” the words carry an uncertainty—they carry forth the wonder of what she means.

He is trying to understand her.

“Yes. I believe in a peace brought by love.” he does not need to see her fingers tucked underneath the kotatsu to know she is playing with them upon her lap in what he can only assume is nervousness, “I care for you deeply, and so, therefore, I believe in a peace brought by you.”

There’s that sense of pride heavy upon him with those words. There’s that bite of her lip and those pinched brows. There’s the shake of her head as if she has said something wrong, and in those few seconds he feels the pride fall from him as he reads regret thick upon her.

He feels the harsh swallow go down his esophagus as he takes his ebony from her to gaze upon the mats beneath them—she regrets saying such things to him.

“Sasuke-kun—please allow me to answer you properly.” her voice is strong and that is what makes him once more bring his eyes to her, “I love you—with all of my heart.” Endless ebony widen, and his lips give way to the slightest drop of his mouth as she continues forward with her confession, “Peace brought by love can come in many forms. It is because I love you that that I believe in a peace brought by you.” those fingers have come within the fabric of her kimono gripping it tightly as her cheeks light with a rose-colored tint far darker than her own locks.

The pride that had fallen in what he thought was regret has coated him once more. The regret he had saw was not regret in supporting him—it had been regret in not speaking her feelings clearly.

Had his wife always been so innocent? So flushed? So demure?

This confession she has given is one he was not prepared for. The pride that has swelled within him at it though is unmistakable. He realizes he is not startled by her words of love. He does not know how long he has thought she had come to care for him on this level. He does not know at what point within their marriage he had come to the conclusion that this woman before him, decorated in such innocence, had loved him. No—what has startled him was that he never thought he would hear them fall from her lips. He never thought there would be a time when Sakura Uchiha would allow herself to say the words out loud for him to hear.

“Thank you.” he cannot stop his fingers from pulling upon his fringe as if it will hide him from her as the gratitude leaves his lips.

Sasuke is the one who feels washed within the timid air around them. The timorousness lingers in each flicker of his eyes. The courage, and the nerve is there though—the courage to steal a look at her from beneath his fringe. He wants to look at her. He wants to see what face decorates her in this moment. He wants to see the face of this woman who allowed herself to say her love clearly.

It's now or never. He wants to know the secrets of her heart.

Her viridian are there to meet his endless ebony. They glow within this shared gaze.

The smile decorated upon her is tender, but wide. The smile that has found it’s way upon her features reaches her eyes and is genuine, and from her heart. It is from deep within her, and has given him the chance to see it—it’s the beaming smile within the photo lost within the remains of Tanigakure.

She had told him of what she wanted. She wanted peace, and he can only hope to give that to her. His new found motivation in the battles to come has become even stronger. He feels this pride upon him in thick waves. He feels this support that she has put in him, and that she looks to him to bring about a world that she believes in.

The Senju, and Uzumaki’s belief in a peace brought by love did not seem so ridiculous within these moments.

He would bring a peace brought by her love.

[modernart2012]

Of Charms and Older Siblings (Shovel Remix)

@sumigakure Halloween Event 2017

Prompt 2: Harry Potter/ Hogwarts AU

Word Count: 1380

Rating: T (for safety)

On AO3

“Kankuro, why are we doing this.” Gaara followed his older brother as Kankuro crept through the halls. He didn’t know why Kankuro was trying to be stealthy - Kankuro had cast a “Don’t Notice Me” Charm when they set out from the Great Hall, and no amount of noise would make anyone not using the counter Charm notice them.

 “It’s the principle of the matter.” Kankuro peeked around the corner evaluating the corridor for something. Who even knew what. “What if that smart aleck Ravenclaw figures out we’re headed up this way and flees? We’d have to chase him down and that’d alert everyone and then we’d all have detention.”

 “Didn’t you put a Tracking Charm on him when you brushed up against him this morning?” Gaara could be playing Exploding Snap right now with Naruto, or raiding the kitchens for ramen and manju, but no. He had to follow his brother because of a matter involving their sister, and “family is important”. Not that it wasn’t true, but where do you draw the line at who was important? Uncle Yashamaru is family! But Uncle Yashamaru had frowned when Kankuro came over to the Hufflepuff table during dinner, and Uncle Yashamaru had the best hugs (after Mother) and was not to be disappointed because then he made sad faces and wanted to talk instead of giving hugs on request. It was a tragedy, but family and this is why he’s going to get sad faces and tea instead of hugs and Gaara really hopes Kankuro appreciates the sacrifices he’s making here.

 Also, Holy Helga, please let it be so that Temari never finds out about this otherwise they are dead. Murdered. Thrown off the Astronomy Tower. Mostly Kankuro, because family or not Gaara can and will plead innocence because he still has no idea what they’re doing anywhere near Ravenclaw Tower stalking another second year. Dueling Club is just a club, they don’t need to worry about a match that had ended weirdly. Gaara wondered why he had to have such incomprehensible siblings, but then remembered the weirdo Slytherin Sasuke Uchiha and concluded that all siblings must be weird on principle. It still wasn’t fair though. Is there a Sibling Exchange Agency where he can get new (sane) siblings? Maybe he should ask Professor Sarutobi, he knew about everything. He also had the best stash of candy, but that wasn’t the most important thing.

 “Look, magic isn’t infallible Gaara. If you don’t have the skills to back up your magic talents, then it’s all a waste. Which is why you need to learn to hold a conversation and step out of your shell; otherwise, you can be the most talented wizard in the whole world but everyone will overlook you because they’ll think you’re antisocial and/or a psychopath.”

 “But I’m a Hufflepuff?” Hufflepuffs were known as friendly and kind, right? Why would anyone think he was a psychopath. Kankuro was probably the psychopath, they’d passed up and down this same hall 5 times at least.

 Kankuro stared at him for a long moment, bewildered, then sighed the sigh of the long-suffering. Gaara suspected that was a Slytherin thing, since almost all the Slytherins he knew had that sigh. “It doesn’t matter right now. The stupid little deer is headed this way.”

 “I thought Ravenclaws were eagles?” Okay, maybe that one was on purpose; Gaara was sure his ‘impeccable poker face’ meant that Kankuro had no idea if he was serious or not.

 Whatever response Kankuro would’ve given was overtaken by Kankuro pouncing and sticking a black bag over Shikamaru’s head, then dragging him through a door that hadn’t been there before. Must be like the pear you had to tickle to get to the kitchens. Gaara followed

 Kankuro roughly pushed Shikamaru into a chair that was smack in the middle of a bright spot of light. The ropes laid loosely around the base of the chair snapped into place instantly, holding Shikamaru fast. “Lumos.” Kankuro yanked off the bag, and shone the light from his wand in Shikamaru’s face. “We wanted to talk to you you scrawny baby deer.”

 “Fawn.” Shikamaru blinked rapidly in the face of such a sudden light change. It couldn’t be comfortable.

 “What.”

 “A baby deer is a fawn.” Gaara helpfully explicated. Professor Uchiha and Professor Hatake let Naruto (and him!) play with the less dangerous animals from Care of Magical Creatures and the dogs - such good dogs! - on weekends. Gaara had learned a lot about animals, magical and not. Pakkun had the softest paws.

 Kankuro covered his face with his free hand and groaned. “Sweet Salazar. Whatever, please just tell me you brought the thing I left in the greenhouses?”

 Gaara reached into his satchel and pulled it out. It had been weird to get, especially since Gaara had to chase it, fight it, and subdue it with food and a dazing spell before he could meet up with Kankuro. He had no idea why Kankuro wanted it, but since it had been an absolute terror fully awake, Gaara could kind of see it.

 Kankuro and Shikamaru blinked blankly at the tanuki Gaara had fished out. It was just shaking off the effects of the spell - Gaara had made the spell purposefully weak, since he hadn’t wanted to hurt it - and growling and lashing its tail and claws about cutely. Gaara pet it between its cute ears.

 ��That isn’t the sharpened shovel I left in the greenhouses.” Kankuro stated baldly.

 “Why would you want a sharpened shovel?” Were shovels even meant to be sharpened?

 “This is a shovel talk that was supposed to have a real shovel but has a crazy tanuki instead.” Shikamaru summarized. “Well, I have to say this is original.”

 “Ugh, you know what, just pass me the tanuki. It seems wild enough to be a good threat.” Gaara dutifully handed over the tanuki to Kankuro, where it promptly went bonkers and bit the hell out of his hand. “Oh, sweet merciful Merlin!” Kankuro dropped the tanuki onto Shikamaru, who hissed when the tanuki swiped at Shikamaru’s chest. Then the tanuki skittered back to Gaara. He picked up the tanuki and cradled it close. It was still hissing, but wasn’t biting. Gaara thought it was progress. “Why do you even have the tanuki if it’s such a crazy bastard?” Kankuro babied his freely bleeding palm, inspecting the cuts. “It could have rabies!”

 Shikamaru looked over the tanuki, the announced, “It probably doesn’t have rabies.” Then he stared at Kankuro’s hand and the cuts slowly stopped bleeding and closed.

 “You know wandless magic?” Kankuro stared.

 “Yeah, but it’s such a pain.” Shikamaru shrugged off the ropes and idly rubbed his head. “It’s just easier to do wand magic for now. Anyways, Gaara, are you going to keep the tanuki?”

 Gaara looked up from where he was gently mashing a boiled egg he had taken from supper in order to feed the tanuki. “I think I’ll call it Shukaku. Isn’t he sweet?” Shukaku hissed and gnawed on his fingers, drawing blood.

 Kankuro and Shikamaru exchange Looks. “Sure, let’s go with that.” Kankuro banished his wand light and opened the door. “So, uh, this was supposed to be a ‘hurt our sister and we hurt you’ talk but it’s failed to go to plan, so lets call it even? Just, uh, be careful of Temari. She’s got a temper.”

 “Sure, we’ll be even if you’ll teach me that Don’t Notice Me Charm and the Counter Charm.”

 “Counter Charm for wandless magic.” Both parties took the deal as fair, and shook on it. Gaara stepped out into the corridor and watched them walk back to their respective dormitories, and then watched as his sister stepped out of a hidden passage further down the way.

 “Did you stop Kankuro from terrorizing Shikamaru for no reason?” Temari scowled from under her cloak hood. Why a cloak was necessary in late summer, Gaara couldn’t fathom. It didn’t matter either way, as long as Temari paid up; he held his hand out and received the promised item. A full bag of Honeyduke’s chocolate, the assorted variety with nuts and caramel truffle fillings. He stuck the bag into his satchel and bid his sister farewell. Tonight had been a good night.

[naruto-oc-critiques]

Michiyō Madoka

Here’s your OC review, @michiyomadoka  Sorry for the long wait! I’ll be putting it under a Read More since it was/is so long.

Name: Michiyō Madoka - “Michiyō” means “sunny path” (道陽) and “Madoka” means “circle” (円). Note: The sun is used as a plot device as she associated it with Pain after he stopped the rain in Amegakure and only after his death was able to let go of her hatred of the sun. While the rain in her story is used as a symbol of the “genjutsu world”, the sun is used as a symbol of the “real world”, which she has to make peace with in the end.

C: My Japanese isn’t the best, but I think Madoka is 円か. There’s probably another blog on tumblr that could help you with the translation if you’re interested in knowing the kanji, but I imagine that in most cases you’ll stick to saying Madoka in romaji and not using the kanji so it’s not massively important. There’s also Japandict which I find rather helpful.

Syn - Pain didn’t stop the rain though? It’s near constant downpour there throughout his reign. The only times he stopped it were on Sundays and when he left the village. It was/is used as a sensory jutsu to check for infiltrators.

Gender: Female

Age: Part I: 13-14 and Part II: 17-18

Time set in: Naruto and Naruto Shippūden

Birthplace: Harawa Village, Land of Rain

Lives in: Amegakure

Appearance:

Michiyō is 174 cm tall and weighs 64 kg in Shippūden. She has pale skin, grey eyes and waist-length blonde hair with blunt bangs.

Syn- Weight according to height and gender are good! The hair could be an issue though; such long hair could be problematic; especially if she has it while she’s still young and new. It takes a degree of skill to fight with long hair, especially with close up styles. Even then it’s not very recommended.

C: Details on her actual build would be helpful too. Is her hair usually loose or tied up? As Syn mentioned, long loose hair can get ninjas into all sorts of trouble.

In Part I Michiyō wears a black skirt that reach her mid thighs with slits on both sides and the kanji for dream (夢, yume) in yellow and a sleeveless black crop top with a zipper in front. Underneath she wears a sleeveless mesh suit with black lining, covering her from the neck down to the thighs. She also wears grey shorts and short grey fingerless gloves in rubber with black-lined mesh underneath and has her grey Amegakure forehead protector tied around her hips, as well as a grey shuriken holster on her right thigh. She wears a pair of regular black shinobi sandals with knee-high black-lined mesh stockings and has black nail polish on her fingernails and toenails. She also carries a grey and yellow tantō strapped on her back.

Syn - Yellow seems a bit out of place in a darker village like Ame. Most colors you see there apart from Yahiko and Konan’s hair are dark and dull. Also, why with the rubber?

C: The reason behind the kanji for Yume would be nice to know.

In Part II she wears a pale grey sleeveless, knee-length dress with slits on both sides and the kanji for dream (夢, yume) in yellow, with a narrow low-cut V-neck almost reaching her navel. Underneath she wears a sleeveless mesh suit with yellow lining, which covers her from the neck to down the thighs. She wears still grey shorts but has replaced her short gloves with long grey fingerless gloves in rubber with metal plating on the backhand and yellow-lined mesh underneath as well as a pair of matching, knee-high grey rubber boots with the same yellow lined mesh stockings underneath. She wears a grey belt around her waist with her Amegakure forehead protector plate on and a grey shuriken holster on her right thigh and now has yellow nail polish on her fingernails and toenails. She also carries her sword strapped on her back, which is concealed inside a grey and yellow oil-paper umbrella. As a member of Amegakure’s Anbu unit Namida, Michiyō wears a grey, hooded, ankle-length rain cloak with a zipper in front over her usual outfit and a metal mask designed with slanted eye-holes with four dots trailing down from each corner, the kanji for “tears” (涙, namida) on the forehead and four vertical lines in place of the mouth, resembling the Amegakure village symbol. Her mask uniquely has yellow markings around the eyes and trailing down the cheeks. During the Fourth Shinobi World War, Michiyō wore a standard Amegakure slate grey flak jacket with swirls on the chest, on top of her normal outfit.

Syn - Why the kanji? What kind of swirls on the flak jacket? Why did she have a special flak jacket? I do like the idea of different ANBU divisions though.

C: Is the rain cloak and mask the standard ANBU uniform for her division? How come they don’t have a full standard outfit/style like other ANBU?

Michiyō is also noted for always wearing a simple silver necklace with a small teardrop-shaped pendant around her neck - a gift from Hanzō that is actually a concealed vial containing the only known antidote to his poison, which she usually wears tucked away underneath her shirt for protection.    

C: You’ve not mentioned what this vial is made of, but I’d advise making it metal or similar rather than glass so that it’s not easily breakable.

Family:

Rin Madoka (mother, deceased): Her only living family, the relationship was very poor as her mother drank and neglected, as well as verbally and emotionally abusing her. When she died Michiyō did not mourn her and only felt relief when thinking about her death.

Unknown father (father, presumed deceased): The relationship is non-existent as he left her when she was a baby. When confronted she blames him for not taking care of her, but never really thinks about him otherwise.

C: It’d be handy for us to know who he is, even if Michiyo doesn’t.

Occupation: Anbu captain

Rank: Part I: Genin and Part II: Anbu

Team:

Team 4: Michiyō Madoka, Natsuko Long, Kai Jakushi and Sensei Kinichirō Togawa. Michiyō’s assigned genin team. I was thinking about this team having a dynamic similar to Team 7: Michiyō/Naruto was in love with Kai/Sakura and Kai/Sakura was in love with Natsuko/Sasuke, while despite their differences Michiyō/Naruto and Natsuko/Sasuke were best friends.

Syn - It’s important to think of team dynamics, but this seems like too much of a Team 7 parallel to me.

C: I would also avoid spelling out where your inspiration comes from in general, as then the parallels become particularly obvious. If your OCs would genuinely have that kind of dynamic then that’s fair enough, but I still feel like there should be some differences between your team and team 7’s.

Team Akuma: Tsuyu Saitō, Kohaku Itō and Captain Michiyō Madoka (codename Akuma). Anbu team within the Anbu unit Namida, specialized in ambush/protection and serves as bodyguards for the village head.

Syn - Somehow I kind of doubt Pain would want/need an ANBU protection squad? None the less one ran by Hanzo’s “daughter”. The general Ambush/Protection classification is generally fine though!

C: I’m not convinced on the team name either. Team Michiyo would be better, or an entirely different codename for the team as a whole.

Syn - Like going by Alpha, Beta, ect. Something like that.

Friends:

Hanzō (caretaker/father figure): After Hanzō took her in and made her his student Michiyō came to love him as a father figure and was devastated when he was killed by Pain. His death had a profound impact on Michiyō and afterwards she gave up on the idea of peace and bonding with others and bended down to Pain in order to survive, trying to let go of Hanzō. When she later met the reanimated Hanzō she admitted that she had not been able to let him go and despite all the bad things he had done she still loved him.

Syn - I just...don’t think of Hanzō as the type to take someone in. I could see him hearing about an oddly talented civilian and conscripting them to the academy though.

C: Shouldn’t Pain have killed her if they were close? From the wiki “the Six Paths of Pain confronted and single-handedly killed Hanzō, systematically slaughtered every person he was ever in league, or affiliated with; from family and servants, to even ambassadors of the villages who he was associated with”.

Natsuko Long (best friend/teammate): Was her best friend, but they grew apart in the Academy when Natsuko became popular and Michiyō as the outsider began isolating herself becoming solely focused on getting stronger. When Natsuko died, Michiyō did not go to her funeral as she at that point had suppressed her emotions completely, something she later regretted and after the war was finally able to mourn her.

Syn - How can they be best friends if they grew apart in the academy and never reconciled?

C: It’s nice to see her regretting her past actions, though I realise that may sound awful.

Kai Jakushi (friend/childhood crush/teammate): Due to Michiyō being an outsider and he was popular, Michiyō was forced to pretend that they were not friends in the Academy, while hiding her crush on him. While team mates her feelings for him disappeared as she suppressed her emotions and they grew apart when team disbanded and after Natsuko’s death they never spoke again.

Syn - So, she and Kai stayed friends but not her and Natsuko? Why?

Kinichirō Togawa (sensei): She liked and admired him, and felt sad when he drank himself to death not long after his retirement when Team 4 disbanded, but tried to let it go and not think about it.

Syn - Why did he become an alcoholic? Because Natsuko died?

C: It would be nice to have a bit more detail here, like why she admired him, and more details on her feelings rather than just “sad” when he passed away.

Kakashi Hatake (friend/romantic interest): When they met in Part II after Pain’s defeat, she came to respect and admire him during the preparation for the war and slowly developed feelings for him. However she hid them as she still feared they made her weak and vulnerable. Note: I’m not sure whether to just leave it at a crush/friends or to have them become a couple in the end after she breaks out of her emotionless shell - I don’t plan on them getting married or having children or anything like that, I thought of them more as lovers/partners and I am still not entirely sure whether she would move to Konoha for him – any advice on if the relationship even seems plausible would be fine :)  

Syn - honestly i think konoha shinobi would be wary of most ame shinobi. Also, i don’t believe Ame participated in the fourth war, as they’d just lost their leaders. They would have been too embroiled in finding a leader, likely through civil war given the country’s history.

C: It was just the main 5 villages and the samurai who participated in the war. We could really do with more detail on how they actually meet, and how any kind of relationship has time to develop.

Personality: As a child she was happy, cheerful and stubborn with a fierce temper much like Naruto Uzumaki, but due to the lack of love in her childhood she became introverted, reserved and taught herself to supress her emotions and put up a façade.

C: Becoming introverted and reserved makes sense if she had a difficult childhood. Does she still have the same temper “under the surface” then? I’m curious as to whether or not she has any “ticks” that give may away her hidden emotions to anyone who knows her well enough.

After Hanzō’s death, she lost all hope in other people and believed that bonding with others would only make her weak. Though she hated Pain, she never sought revenge, as she was too afraid of him and believed that he could never be defeated.

C: It’s good to see that she understands the limits of her power, though I’m curious as to why she lost hope in other people at this time too. Logically speaking, if she could gather up a reasonably large band of at least semi skilled people, then she could have had a chance at beating Pain. If she was that attached to Hanzo I feel like she would have tried to do something, though obviously not if it was a lost cause.

Trapped under Pain, unable to deal with all her anger, hatred and sorrow she instead chose to completely shut off her emotions and slowly turned her own heart into ice. Michiyō came to believe that the only way she could survive and become strong was to let it all go and forget about the past and everything that had happened and she willingly bended down to Pain in order to survive. The past became a taboo which she never thought or spoke about and her only focus was to keep moving forward at all cost. She became obsessed with getting stronger and all her waking hours she trained her genjutsu, which with time became the only way she could express her emotions. Most of the time Michiyō is calm and composed, with an aloof and confident attitude. However she is also talkative, strong-opinionated, and can also be funny and charismatic at times, but her cheerful exterior is often only a part of her facade and she always keeps people at an arms-length, never showing her true emotions.

C: To be honest, being charismatic at times gives off something of a manipulative vibe to me, though I’m not sure if you were aiming for this.

Syn - I could see the manipulative side developing after all that she’s been through though.

She is extremely enduring and also adaptable under extreme circumstances, unflappable and very good at keeping her cool in any situation. She is very determined and ambitious, but can turn obsessive under too much pressure. Due to her upbringing she is also quite mature for her age and very independent as she is used to relying only on herself and can therefore also be very selfish, always putting herself before others.

C: Selfishness is a good flaw, and makes sense for her too.

Syn - Makes sense with the manipulative vibe too!

As she prefers her own company most of the time, she has very few friends and when not on duty she spends her time alone in her apartment painting or reading as she likes being creative, which helps her develop ideas for her genjutsu. The thing she fears above anything else is being vulnerable and weak, opening up and then being betrayed or exploited, which is why she trusts no one and keeps to herself. Her fear is her weakest point, as she has never learned to be brave and has had to flee and hide her entire life to survive.

C: I like these fears.

Syn - Sounds very much like someone who grew up so close to the center of a war-torn country.

However, after Pain’s death everything changed for her and her meeting with Naruto and watching his refusal to give up made her realize that she had been wrong to despair and give up on other people and she regained her hope in a better future. This helped her break out of her emotionless shell and shed her façade, no longer believing bonds and feelings is just weaknesses and she began creating new bonds and also finding the courage and will to fight for her village and others than herself.

C: It’s good to see her grow and move on from her old feelings. Naruto has changed so many characters in canon though, so it can feel a bit stale when he’s the reason for an OCs change too. I would consider linking it to the actions of her friends, fellow villagers or something, so it feels a bit fresher (I hope you get what I mean here).

Abilities: Despite her being born into a civilian family, Michiyō was born with immense genjutsu powers. Learning the basic theory behind chakra by years of listening in on the shinobi teams passing through her village, she was able to teach herself how to mould chakra and create genjutsu and even before she joined the Academy she had surprisingly good control of her abilities. She was even able to catch a fully-fledged shinobi in a Genjutsu Binding when she was 8 years old, which were enough to catch the eye of the legendary shinobi Hanzō, who took her as his student.

Syn - That’s a little over-powered, for some civilian kid with not family history of shinobi. I could see maybe a Kurama kid being able to do this.

C: This is definitely beyond the realm of what an untrained child could be reasonably expected to learn without some kind of formal tuition. If you want Hanzo to take an interest in her, why not wait until they start to teach genjutsu at the academy?

As she has trained herself to suppress her emotions her entire life, with time her genjutsu became the only way she could express her emotions and therefore became very dependent on them. Her powers are so strong that overuse eventually breaks down her mind and personally, so that she at last is just an empty shell.

Syn - I can see the becoming dependent of genjutsu thing, as that seems like a viable side effect from emotional suppression. But by that last sentence do you mean she ends up killing herself with her genjutsu? Or at least puts herself into a vegetative state?

C: I’m guessing that you’re aiming for a ROOT style personality, though I feel like if she loses too much then she won’t care about missions, or even self care and could just fade away, or die due to carelessness on a mission.

Note: I am still working on the mechanics of her genjutsu powers as I don’t want it to be just a copy of the Kurama Clan’s genjutsu, but I still want it to be something that defines and shapes her throughout the story, so any suggestions is very much appreciated :)

Syn - I just don’t see how the genjutsu could be developed into something that isn’t too close to the Kurama clan’s. Strong genjutsu like that just screams Kurama. C, you got any ideas?

C: To be honest, I feel like your best route might be to just have her being distantly related to the Kurama clan (maybe by a grandparent or mystery dad). Ame is basically a mixing pot of the surrounding countries, so it wouldn’t be a stretch for someone from Konoha to wind up there. I just think that at the moment, what you’re aiming for is too similar to the Kurama clans KG to try and make it something different, and there’s nothing in canon stopping you from borrowing it.

Syn -  Yes. Mystery Dad. But, yeah, Rain is basically the New York of Naruto. Lots of refugees from other nations.

As she has chosen to focus almost solely on her genjutsu, her other skills have naturally suffered and she is quite average in other general shinobi skills. She is amongst other things unable to use any elemental chakra natures only Yin Release and because she was born a civilian she naturally has a very small amount of chakra which gives her a low stamina.

C: Her maximum amount of chakra can be increased with training (to an extent), so I wouldn’t make it too low as I think it’s something that she would spend time developing. She should also have a natural element which would be nice to know regardless or whether or not she can really use it.

As she has been naturally focused on her mind and on studying, she is particularly weak in terms of physical strength and endurance and taijustu. As she is usually extremely well-protected by her genjutsu powers this does not normally pose a problem, but in a taijutsu match she could easily be beaten by someone like Ino Yamanaka and if ever punched directly by Sakura Haruno or Tsunade she would properly be killed. However, to make up for this she has worked on her speed and evasion and she is very quick. Michiyō is also extremely skilled in kenjutsu, wielding the ninjatō Tīdaami meaning “sunshower” (太陽雨), which she can use to induce her genjutsu when infusing it with her yin chakra-flow.

Syn - So her lack of elemental jutsu is due to her focus on genjutsu? I can see that, but I think at least one or two low level ninjutsu would be a good idea. Besides, if genjutsu was literally the only skill she’s good at I could hardly see her making it past being low-leveled chuunin. Though, I really do like the idea of the tanto/genjutsu combination. But if she’s good with kenjutsu then I think she should be at least decent with taijutsu as well.

Also, on the chakra front, she won’t be able to use a lot of strong genjutsu without a decent bit of chakra, or one of those that consumes it over time. So Id’s do what C recommended and have her train it up some.

Due to her training with Hanzō, she also has great knowledge in creating poisons and antidotes and she can use her umbrella both to release a hallucinogenic Poison Mist that she uses in her genjutsu, while she is also able to use a unique summon – an earthworm, which she is able to ride on top of, is poisonous like Ibuse and can also consume physical energy. Due to her training in the Anbu she is also a very capable assassin.  

Syn - Earthworms are also different, which is nice, but they’re not really poisonous creatures. Caterpillars might be a better choice on that front.

C: You could also go for a parasitic worm of some kind. I don’t know much about worms, so you’ll have to do the research on it though.

Stats: Part I: 14 Part II: 24

Ninjutsu: Part I: 1 Part II: 3

Taijutsu: Part I: 0.5 Part II: 1

Genjutsu: Part I: 4 Part II 5

Intelligence: Part I: 2 Part II: 4

Strength: Part I: 0.5 Part: 1

Speed: Part I: 2 Part II: 4

Stamina: Part I: 1 Part II: 2

Hand seals: Part I: 2 Part II: 4

Syn - Hey, don’t these stats actually make her weaker than Sakura overall? I don’t see how she could be ANBU with these? Kurenai is a Jounin specializing in genjutsu and her overall stats are almost 30 in total.

C: Naruto had total stats of 14.5 at the age of 12, and was rock bottom of his class. He also doesn’t have any skills below a 1, and his genjutsu goes up to 2 by part II despite him being hopeless at it. I’d shift her stats up to at least 18 or so, with none lower than 1 in part I. I’m not sure if you want Michiyo to be on Kurenai’s level, but if that’s the kind of skill you’re aiming for in part II, then you need to be around the 29 mark. If not, 24 is pretty reasonable for an average shinobi of that age, and is on par with Shikamaru in shippuden.

History:

Background: She grew up in the small village Harawa born to civilian parents, her father left her when she was a baby and her mother began drinking after that. She had no friends and was bullied, until she used her genjutsu to scare the other children away, resulting in them leaving her alone and giving her the nickname Akuma meaning “demon/devil”.

Syn - Why was she bullied in the first place? And this is where you got her squad name, yeah? I don’t think someone would use a childhood insult as their team name unless they were sadistic with a good dosage of self-loathing.

C: I’ve personally seen this nickname too many times, and would advise picking something else, if you even need the nickname at all.

When she was 8 years old, a battle between Hanzō’s forces and the Akatsuki burned down her village, killing her mother. After Hanzō watched the young Michiyō stop one of his shinobi who mistook her for the enemy in a Genjutsu Binding, he decided to make her his student and use her in the civil war. When she was 10 years old Hanzō was killed by Pain, however Michiyō was lucky to escape through a secret pathway through the sewers. After that she lived on the streets – I am thinking of placing her in an orphanage instead where she perhaps is recruited into Namida, but I’m not sure whether Amegakure even had orphanages at this point?

Syn - Once again, I think Hanzo pulling her to to academy would make more sense, rather than making her his student. This would also rectify the “Akatsuki killing everyone Hanzo is connected to” problem as well. She could still admire him for giving her a new chance at life or a new purpose maybe?

C: If Hanzo wanted to use her as a weapon some kind of ROOT equivalent would make the most sense if he wanted her trained quickly, though you’d need to bump her skills up. It’d also mean quite a bit of rewriting. With Nagato and co’s experience of Ame, I’m not convinced that there would be any orphanages. Also, with Pains sensing abilities, I really doubt that a 10 year old would be able to escape him. If you want her to live she can’t be that close to him.

One day she met another girl her age named Natsuko and they became best friends. Together they started in the Academy, but Michiyō was an outsider and was bullied due to her ragged looks from living on the streets and kept to herself. While she was extremely skilled in genjutsu, she lacked any other shinobi skills and it took her three tries to graduate, but she managed to graduate as the top kunoichi on her third try. She was put into Team 4 with Natsuko and their mutual friend Kai under the jōnin sensei Kinichirō.     

Syn -  Most Academy classes start when the kids are six, not ten. That would be far, far too late for them to develop skills in time to graduate at 11 or 12. Also, with her lacking in so many of the other skills I don’t see how she could have possibly been kunoichi of the year.

C: With the state of Ame, I feel like there would be a couple of street kids in every class, so it wouldn’t be that much of a reason to bully someone. Taking three attempts to graduate and then being the best kunoichi don’t fit together either, unless something happened to really aid her development in that time period.

Part I: Team 4 participated in the Chūnin Exams in Konoha. They passed the written exams due to Michiyō using her genjutsu on the other students while collecting the answers. During the Forest of Death challenge they came across Team 7 and a battle between Kai and Sasuke ensued, ending with Kai being seriously injured. On the last day Team 4 was able to secure the earth scroll and passed, however in the preliminaries Kai’s injuries were so serious that he was forced to withdraw by their sensei. Michiyō and Natsuko then met each other in battle, with Michiyō winning due to playing on Natsuko’s fears with her genjutsu, causing her rift between them. During the finals, Michiyō was assigned to fight Dosu Kinuta, however as Dosu was killed by Gaara they never got to fight. After Chūnin finals were stopped due to the invasion of Konoha, Shikamaru was the only one who was promoted chūnin and Michiyō and Team 4 travelled home to Amegakure.  

Syn - Being in the same chuunin exams is fine, but the battling your own teammate thing is kind of cliche. Why not go further and mix up canon by shifting fights around? Also, why did the other members of the teams not fight? Why just Sasuke and Kai? And wasn’t there already a rift between Michiyō and Natsuko? I thought that you said their relationship pretty much started and ended in the academy.

C: Dosu was meant to fight Shikamaru in the finals as far as I’m aware. I’d personally be inclined to use more OC teams for Michiyo and co to fight against rather than fiddling around with the canon fights, but as long as you leave the ones with the most plot in canon intact you can fiddle with them as Syn said.

Part II: Despite failing to make chūnin, the superiors in Amegakure had taken notice of her exceptional genjutsu skills and she was recruited into the Anbu sub-division Namida (seen as Amegakure’s equivalent of Root) which takes in orphan children and trains them as weapons to protect the village. Michiyō underwent 3 years of gruelling training, becoming a skilled and ruthless assassin and at some point passing the chūnin exams at age 14. At age 16 Michiyō was promoted to Anbu captain and was assigned to lead her own three-man team, which specialized in ambush/protection, serving as bodyguards to the village head.

Syn - Wait, wait. They (Konoha’s Rookie 9) were 12-13 in part one. Probably around 13 by the time they took the chuunin exams, which means Michiyō would be late 13s, early 14s at the time of the chuunin exams. So she’d be 16/17 by the time she finished those three years of Anbu training. Though becoming an Anbu Captain at sixteen is some sort of Kakashi level thing; I probably wouldn’t advise it. Not with her point allocation. And probably late into her 14th year or early in her 15th for becoming chuunin if she didn’t pass the Konoha exams.

But if the initial thought was to train her as a weapon, why wasn’t she dumped in this division from the beginning?

C: I really do think that she should have been put in this sub division when Hanzo found her originally, as waiting ages to create a weapon for a current war through the academy doesn’t make sense.

After Pain’s death during his invasion of Konoha, Michiyō was shell-shocked that he could ever be defeated and wishing to meet Naruto who had defeated him, she volunteered her team for the mission Protect Naruto, which Konan had started as a way to ensure that Pain’s faith in Naruto would not be wasted as well as an attempt to reach out to Konoha to make an alliance – which however failed as the new Hokage Danzō was distrustful of Ame’s alliance with Naruto. In Konoha Naruto told Michiyō Pain’s story and also what Hanzō had done to him, while she was shocked she shook it off and declared that she had let him go many years ago and that her hatred for Pain was no longer necessary as he was dead.

Syn - There was never any sort of official “Protect Naruto” mission, and I very highly doubt Tsunade would let them anywhere near Naruto for an extended period like that. Plus, I don’t think Konan lived long enough to give any sort of official declaration or mission regarding Naruto. There’s also the fact that Ame was left without any leader at this point in time, so no one would be sent out on mission for a while I would think.

C: Ame also tends to get run over by the larger nations on a regular basis so don’t really have ninja to spare, especially when they don’t have a village leader.

Following Naruto with her team to the Land of Iron and later watching the battle between Team 7, Michiyō was reminded of the old Team 4. At last watching Naruto’s resolve to never give up, also seeing her early self in him, made her realize how different she could have become if she had not given up, Michiyō decided to change her ways and began to believe in peace for the first time since Hanzō’s death.

C: As a mentioned earlier, lots of characters have changed because of Naruto in canon. I also feel that changing simply because of watching him is a little weak, for lack of a better word. I could understand it better if it was something that she had been considering for a while, but this was the last straw, though that’s not the impression that I get.

Syn - If anything, watching him might bright to light a seed of doubt, but beyond that it would take something more significant and impactful.

Deciding, like Konan, to put her faith in Naruto, she became determined to make a difference and persuaded her team to travel back and try to rally Amegakure to fight with Konoha in the upcoming war against the Akatsuki. However, when they arrived Konan had been killed and the village was scrambling to mobilize their defences. But due to Michiyō’s words and refusal to take no for an answer, feeling that her village is responsible for the Akatsuki, she eventually succeeded in convincing her superiors and they decided to dispatch the Namida forces of the Anbu to join the Allied Shinobi Forces, keeping the rest of the shinobi in to defend the village.

C: How big are the Namida forces anyway? As horrible as it sounds, I’m not sure that they’d be a big enough power to really sway the outcome of the war, while on the other hand they’d be a big enough power to make a difference to any issues at home. It doesn’t make sense to me from a logical perspective for them to be sent off, and not stay around Ame keeping the peace and protecting her superiors.

Syn - Konan would have been killed long before this, unless this is an AU. And it’s really doubtful “superiors” or “elders” would heed to the pleas of one girl; they’d probably be too busy fighting amongst themselves for the position of leader.

The Ame forces arrived in Kumogakure at the nick of time and though initially met with hostility, with the support of Naruto, Kakashi and the newly awoken Tsunade they were permitted to join the Surprise Attack Division. When they were attacked by the Surprise Attack and Diversion Platoon, Michiyō came face to face with the reincarnated Hanzō and due to her knowledge of him she was quick enough to escape Ibuse’s paralysing poison but the others were caught, leaving her all alone. Forced to confront Hanzō, she was out of chakra and also too emotional unstable to be able to do much and broke down in tears for the first time since Hanzō’s death. Recognizing her Hanzō taunted her for showing her weakness and still holding on to useless ideas of peace, he charged at her and beat her severely. As she was seriously injured by having been infected by the poison on his kusarigama and on the ground nearly unconscious, in spite of his taunting words, to Hanzō’s shock Michiyō was able to get up and cure herself of his poison with the antidote inside her teardrop necklace she still carried, a gift from him when she was 10. She told him that she was done running and also that he had been wrong to give up on his dreams, what he could have accomplished if he had not given up so easily and that she pitied him for what he had become. As he charged at her again this time she met him head on and after beating her nearly to death, but before delivering the final Mifune arrived just in time to intervene.

C: I’m really struggling to understand the last sentence here.

Syn - Still don’t think Tsunade would trust them, or Kakashi. Regardless of if Naruto did or not. And I’m guessing Mifune saved her life?

After Hanzō was defeated by him, he repeated Michiyō’s words that he had been wrong to give up on his conviction and remembering his past and also his memories of Michiyō; Hanzō placed his faith in her and pleaded with Mifune to save her life before he committed seppuku. Afterwards Michiyō was taken to the medical unit for treatment and was unconscious for the rest of the war. While trapped in the Infinite Tsukuyomi, Michiyō dreamed that she sat by the lake in Amegakure with all her dead family and friends enjoying the sunshine. After the war, Michiyō travelled home to Amegakure to help rebuilt the village and the efforts of the Ame-nin were one of the key factors in repairing the diplomatic relationship between Ame and Konoha, resulting in the village standing stronger in the following years of peace than it had ever done before, eventually joining the newly formed Shinobi Union. Michiyō also carved a grave for Hanzō by the lake, which she visited in the years after. She also often came to visit her new friends in Konoha often, her life forever changed because of them.

Syn - This is, quite frankly, out of character for Hanzo.

First of all the emotional suppression needs to be addressed a bit - though it’s not anything against it, just expanding on it as something you may want to tweak a little bit:

Effects of consistent emotion suppression include increased physical stress on your body, including high blood pressure, increased incidence of diabetes and heart disease. In addition, people who engage in emotion suppression regularly are more likely to experience stiff joints, bone weakness and more illnesses due to lowered immunity.

Other than that little tidbit of information, you’re doing just fine when it comes to her personality!

Now regarding the genjutsu - we mentioned the Kurama clan above, and you did too. We believe the best course of action here is to just make her related to the Kuramas - Mystery Dad and/or through her paternal grandparents. They are all about strong genjutsu, so it’ll be far easier on you to just have her be part Kurama than try to make a workaround to make it something different.

Now, the part regarding her history revolving around Hanzo. If this was canon-verse Michiyō would be dead - slipping through the sewers wouldn’t be enough to save her. It’d have to go AU somehow for it to work, otherwise we’d advise him recruiting her for the academy, or rather those Namida you mention. She could still admire him for giving her a new life, or a new purpose, but this way she has a better chance of not getting killed by Akatsuki.

Her skills also need a bit of tweaking, like we mentioned above. General numbers and sprucing up her abilities all around will do Michiyō some good - maybe expand a bit on her tanto/genjutsu combination.

Syn & C

[southsidestory]

Bringing back an oldie that is pure comedic gold. I never actually shared the review here because it’s massive but you know what? I think some of you would appreciate it anyway! Random reviewer does get points for using his actual account and not dropping this pile of shit in my inbox anonymously. That I can respect, and for the sake of protecting his FF identity, his name is blocked out.

And for those who don’t want to click to embiggen:

“Another fiction (recommended by someone) concerning Sasuke and Sakura, and yet another grave disappointment. You have used Rinnegan Sasuke and adopted a monumentally absurd logic of him actually having trouble evading her during their training session? You cannot be serious! Why do all people infatuated with Sakura (or Hinata) and her non-canon “oh-so-awesome” speed (and her nonexistent and laughably poor CQC prowess) put her on such a high pedestal? It just baffles me. That is practically non-canon to the point of being grossly and obscenely OOC. Hebi Sasuke will cut her war-arc and Gaiden self down into confetti, even if he stands at a great distance from her (make it more than a kilometer, if you must), before she even has a chance to think, let alone blink. That is how fast Sasuke is. The guy was dodging consecutive Clay-based C2 (C4 as well) blasts that are well above hyper-sonic speed … in succession like it was nothing. The only time he got hit was when he let Deidara hit him to lure him into a trap. As for Kenjutsu, then people still misread that Bee battle and use the “underestimating thing” so freely without even paying attention to the manga (your S-Class mission took such a liberty there that it’s ludicrous)? Where Sasuke (despite being badly injured; as confirmed by Jugo and himself), was still faster than Bee to throw a sword into his other hand and hit himself with a Chidori before Bee even made a single stab; a fact confirmed by Bee himself (that the wounds were not fatal as he used Raiton to make them non-fatal)? Or Bee confirming and equating an injured man’s reflex action speed with Fourth Raikage in his Raiton cloak without the second “Bijuu chakra level” augmentation as Karin comments? A (Ae) guy who has been confirmed to be much faster than Minato when he uses Raiton armor (without “Bijuu chakra level” augmentation) as stated by Shee in the Viz translation of the manga? Or Bee admitting that Sasuke was the toughest opponent he ever took on? Where are you getting this from anyway? Who does a Rinnegan user have to underestimate? Who has this luxury? Forget that, how many opponents Sasuke took down during his training with Orochimaru? It led him to comment that he (when he was Sasuke’s age) was a lesser genius? Or Mifune (the guy with the fastest sword draw) commenting on Sasuke’s speed with the sword? Or Sasuke taking down several samurais as if they were cow-fodder; who were shown fight toe to toe Karui and Omoi (the same people who handed Sakura’s posterior to her in a second)? And she was using her Kunai and deflecting his attacks … just like that? It just bamboozles me … Then you showed that she deflected his Shurikens like it was nothing? Yes, like Orochimaru being lured into a trap by a twelve-year-old Sasuke did, right? Even he couldn’t do that. And that was when Sasuke was just a child. Or Danzo dying to one despite possessing about a dozen Sharingans? Or Deidara getting pinned by Fuma Shurikens despite being in air and throwing bombs at Sasuke? I mean, he STILL couldn’t evade them! Or Itachi, who could only match his prowess when he’s an expert in this as well? But Sakura is suddenly an expert in Shuriken-Jutsu; at Itachi’s level? Heck, he got his brother’s headband when he just woke up from a Tsukuyomi, stretched to 48 hours by Itachi and he was only eight years old then! By God! Should I go on? And “tossed” sounds like such an odd choice of words for Shurikens. Is he playing ball with her? Seems like it, as he left that one-of-a-kind dexterity and intelligence home when he sparred with the uber-talented Queen of ALL Ninjutsu (I will get to this point later), Kenjutsu, Shurikenjutsu etc. you name it! She’s so damned talented! And you are not even talking about these versions of Sasuke. You are talking about Rinnegan Sasuke; a guy who was much faster than Kinshiki (both in speed and in reflex action) and took his horn out and destroyed his created-swords, how many times? The only thing that threw him back was the force of the blows. Christ Almighty … he’s having difficulty with … Sakura?! Heck, the guy was much faster than Naruto (he has always been) in the movie. This is what irks me to no end about these Sakura-centric (or even Hinata-centric) fictions. Sakura’s status is upped to a ridiculous degree and Sasuke is dumbed down (a prodigy, might I add; Shikamaru also looked up to him by his own admission) to match Sakura’s level to such a degree that he becomes a painstakingly laughable, blubbering, hyper-romantic jackass who just … happens to be in love. Why? No reason. This fiction is no different. Why is Sasuke getting jealous of her sleeping around? No reason. He just is. When Sasuke in canon manga has always been an adherent of ideals and never a pointless, salivating chaser of romance and women. Which would explain why he only had sex with Sakura ONCE in over a decade. And that is canon-manga. Once he gave that to Sakura, he left her and never looked back. When he came back in the movie, it ends on a note of him standing away from her and looking off into the distance. In Gaiden, when she leaned in to kiss, he threw her an odd look and high-tailed out of her. Which version of Sasuke does this fandom keep writing? I don’t get. Really, I don’t. Then we have the issue of Sasuke crying in her arms and having nightmares, when he never did in the manga. Which portion of manga is this where he cried in her arms, or anyone’s arms, for reassurances or hurt/comfort nonsense when he isn’t even a child here? The only time that happened was when he fell down and was fainting with no control over his body after a lethal bite from Orochimaru (a bite that is only survived by one in TEN people). The kid was twelve then. The whole premise of your fiction is based on the sheer bastardization of his character. You have practically butchered it … and in second chapter, might I add. The very beginning! Your story goes on in a typical fashion, claiming scattered cliches of romances whilst not giving much value to what the manga actually exhibits. I have no issues with your genres. It’s your treatment that is bothersome. That admittance of “I didn’t listen to you” before Sakura about that criminal was literally the last straw; forget how absurd and unreal a Rinnegan user’s bloodied form actually was (I don’t even want to touch it, as it’ll open yet another can of nasty worms). It was another grave error of making Sasuke act like a complete fool before a ninja infinitely inferior than him on every front that it’s practically impossible to take this fiction seriously. When has he ever done that? Even after discarding Konoha’s putrid Nationalism, the only words he said to Kakashi were, “yeah, sorry.” Then we have the preachy tone of your fiction (till the sixth chapter anyway), where you define the clear tones of “hedunwrong” and go off with lengthy and highly hilarious comebacks from her and Naruto on putting Sasuke down. Disguising these admonishing tones with back and forth moods that is just off-putting. Give me a break! I cannot believe you are actually serious with this. Naruto would never admonish Sasuke or treat him badly (even mildly). The guy hyperventilated, let Karui sink his face in, was willing to commit suicide over Sasuke for crying out loud. He never went down this shady road. Heck, the guy repeatedly whined in several monologues that, “why don’t you come home, Sasuke?” and, “I understand how you feet” etc. The instance that made me drop this story was Sasuke sharing his … clan’s rite with Sakura. What on earth? You do realize that it requires “potent” Uchiha chakra to perform it, and that it has never, and I mean NEVER, been shared with or copied by anyone outside the clan? No one has managed it? Not even Kakashi. Why? Because if you had ever paid attention to the manga, then you would have realized that Uchiha chakra’s potency is comparable to the Bijuus (high-tier Uchihas). It is mentioned by Kurama and talked about several times in the manga. It is unmatched in the manga. Quite literally, given that Indra’s line directly inherited the Sage’s “strong Chakra” genes, Ashura never did. Now, one can let you off on the whole Sage inheritance as this was completed in 2014, but the rest still holds. The ground literally tears up and breaks apart when this technique is used when it happens with no other Katon tech from people other than the Uchiha. Sasuke broke apart a large stone wall with Dragon Jutsu when he launched it at the sky. How on earth can Sakura learn it … whose chakra is literally not even in a pathetic basket by comparison in regards to potency? I don’t care if it was just a knock-off version of it, how can she? When no one has … not even the Sarutobi clan who also happen to be experts in Katon Jutsus? Christ on a crutch, is all this even necessary? This out of character, sloppy take on a superman Sakura with such an “ah-sum” potent chakra, “ah-mahzing, theygoblindman” speed that gives Sasuke trouble (I gotta laugh at this), “es-pahshal” intelligence (when she’s canonically far below Sasuke, and I mean FAR below him) that allows her the accomplishment of such impossible feats? Her Chakra Control (CC)? You do realize that she would require CC at Sasuke’s level to even think about producing half the effects of the Uchiha tech as she lacks the chakra? Sure, her CC is pretty good. Excellent even. It’s above Naruto’s, as all he does is handle great volumes of chakra; the Bijuu literally hand over kneaded chakra to him. But at Sasuke’s level? The guy’s CC is at the Sage of the six paths level. Yes, this is manga fact, stated by Kurama itself to Naruto when he made a Pseudo-Mezo out of his Perfect Susanoo and poured perfectly controlled and kneaded Bijuu Chakra within it! Now, how can she produce such a control to even accomplish this given that three ingredients to produce this are missing; CC at Sasuke’s level or slightly below

CONTD … him, Chakra potency and distinct bloodline attributes? Apparently, it is of little issue as canon plot be damned! Honestly, this Sakura is such a Mary-Sue, capable of feats that must make her canon self dizzy and mad with envy. That’s the problem with romantic fandom here (NH as well, along with Hinata-Centric fics), they have little to no understanding of the manga. It doesn’t even seem like they have read it beyond the bubbles, contorted to suit their self-created romantic perspectives or fanciful notions of God characters and Naruto is the worst offender there, where he’s (hilariously) given a Sharingan and made to act like Sasuke, when that fandom hates the latter’s guts! All you have done here is assimilate several cliches and tropes to create a narrative that is built on a flimsy and improper footing. People do that with Uchiha brothers all the time. Make them chase like silly, idiotic men in the grip of a concept that is not even remotely touched upon in the manga. Not even close. Making them seem like these inconsequential, trivial caricatures that litter ever Samantha’s and Martha’s romance novels … and it’s quite painful to trudge through it. And that is not all, you have several pacing issues as well. There are abrupt breaks between scenes when they can be joined to the next one as the mood remains the same. Improper use of conjunction or it’s missing altogether. Dragged on scenes where pointless romantic mood is given priority rather than realistic characterization, which should be used to build a mood. That Sakura confession was the lowest point in this fiction till the sixth chapter bar Sakura’s “es-phashal” status as a ninja. Granted, we all make mistakes. Heck, I make them all the time and cannot seem to pinpoint them until after a month or so. But this is Beta-Read! How could your Beta not see these errors in genre and plot pacing in general, along with the over-use of OOC-ness to make this work AT ALL COSTS? I suppose fictions like “Aves of Maria” are a rarity, where the author knows they are dealing with a character that is not an exhibitionist of bleeding romance and is reserved and cold on such front. There, it was put under the carefully thick garb of lust. But, this is Naruto fandom and that was DeathNote fandom. That aside, it wasn’t all doom and gloom. You have quite a lot of positives as well even if the narrative tone is very troublesome. Your dialogues are clean and have a tinge of realism in them. The flow is (mostly) maintained and there is a good amount of consistency between the scenes. That is, perhaps, the most solid part of your story. You tend to remain consistent with the whole thing (good or bad). It tends to create a good flow that is hard to accomplish. As a final word, you have a solid footing as a writer. If you stop using tropes and cliches (like you have done here), then you can accomplish a lot. I may have sounded harsh, but I am a blunt individual. And I would never have reviewed it had someone not requested me to, to be honest. Anyhow, good luck on your future endeavours. I wish you all the best.”

I wish you all the best too, dear. *kisses*